Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #367 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: March 31, 2016

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt, live in studio! This podcast is brought to you by:   ScoreBig - When you go to ScoreBig.com, click on the microphone and enter code: JOEY. to get $20 off of your first order.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 03/30/2016.


I'm so high already This is for soldiers and shit that's for soldiers yeah, all right, what the fuck Jesus Christ start this fucking thing we Okay Okay This show is brought to you by score big Listen guys, it's almost baseball season. You're gonna want to go to games But a lot of places are sold out like Boston Red Sox games always sell out always Next time you're about to go to a game go to score big comm first and see how much you can save go to score big comm

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I'll see how it goes. It's only my first day, but it was good And so just go to promo go to on it comm promo code church to save 10% off And you thought you had done going on something oh shit, what did you fuck up? Oh shit I Don't know what's going to You bad motherfuckers The church of what's happened now Wednesday night March 30th March 29th, I'm sorry April Fool's weekend who gives a fuck

Here we go I Michael Jackson's brothers and eighty-three eighty-four Here we go What's going on over there fucking mr. Dancing chef So how many groups did the Jacksons have then because so there was that I thought it was gonna be the Jackson 5 when you told me about it But to the Jackson's it's the Jackson 5 then Michael Jackson and his brother left

Okay, all right Michael Jackson was solo and Jermaine went to Motown and started his solo label with he stayed with Berry Gordy Because he was married to Berry Gordy's daughter So the Jackson's left. I think they went to epic records. I'm not sure don't fucking quote me on that And then what happened was it so the Jackson's Replaced Michael with Randy Jackson Who was the baby Jackson who used to play the bongos and was cute and shit, but he ain't no Michael Jackson I'm surprised they let it look as far as he left. So Michael had to go solo, you know, he wanted to go solo He didn't want to be a Motown no more whatever

So the beauty of this was that All right, so Michael did the greatest hits They did off the wall. Okay off the wall came out like 81 82. I went to the show with Kurt DeLorenzo the 15 fucking dollars and The garden was not sold out It was like a Tuesday night. It was not sold out and I was blown away He did some Jackson 5 songs and he did off the wall songs Then thriller came out and then he did a song by a guy named with a guy named Maxwell somebody's watching me

Maxwell turned out to be Barry Gordy's son or nephew. He was doing a favor from to get his career on track So Michael Jackson blew up with thriller I guess he did a world tour with the brothers. So it was Michael Jackson. It was called the Jackson's And they put the album out called victory Which came out went check it out victory By the Jackson's came out maybe 84 February of 84 March 84 maybe

Something like that Let's see. It was oh July 2nd of 84. We're fucking thinking dealing with but thriller was already out You follow me thriller had come out fucking the year before Okay So thriller was on two years before remember of 82 thriller was just on fucking fire at this point They released this album and had two songs out of the fucking seven albums. It was no barn burner But Michael Jackson did a world tour again in the summer of 84 and I saw him with The brothers

Right, okay, and there was nine nights at New Jersey metal lands Then the following week Bruce Springsteen came in with the board in the usa motherfucking tour And he did nine nights. Who would you compare? Michael Jackson to like celebrity wise because I I was too young to know I like I knew of him, but like when he was huge like for people now like Taylor Swift I don't like I'm just trying to think of all like who? A Kardashian bigger than a Kardashian like he was internet

Like an 84. It was over like the summer of 84 It was fucking over He ran shit. It was him prince with fucking purple rain Bruce Springsteen. It was the last great fucking summer Like I saw probably Not exaggerating. I just remember off the top of my head. You figure I saw the jacksons The pretenders Rod Stewart, Huey Lewis in the news

You know, I was still living in new york city and I was in the city, you know, it's a big difference when you Yeah, I live in no, no, no. No, I was in the city every fucking day So I had my heartbeat on tickets and shows and little things, you know, I'm saying like you you're aware of what's going on I worked at a bar at a hotel So the concierge knew what was going on. They knew people who had tickets, you know at the end of the night I got an extra tickets for the you know, I'm saying like oh, you want to go to this club There's a film premiere and shit like that. I never really went to those I liked all the music stuff. How was Michael live?

Fucking mind-boggling, man. Like just you sit there and go what the fuck but for me, it was something different because I grew up on the guy I was here when ABC went off. I still remember buying the album ABC from the window like running in and going that's the album I won and My godfather buying it for me and me going home at 11 and still fucking putting it on and my mom's like, what are you fucking crazy? It's 11 o'clock and That type of shit like I still remember being five or six and buying that album But I was with somebody wasn't my godfather. We were by 42nd street and you knew of it already

I heard the song on the radio ABC. You're a fucking five-year-old You're a five-year-old kid ABC's is what you live for and all of this this fucking black kid comes out and sends a song ABC is easy as one two three. This is right in your fucking neighborhood. They were hugging you from childhood They hooked you right there. They hooked me. I was his age. I was maybe a year younger maybe two years fucking younger and michael jackson, so You know for me, I was there. I was there when that came out I want you back and you know a fucking the love you save and then ben with the fucking mouse

Which nobody remembers he sang the song to ben So it was willard then ben will it was a movie about rats A kid who had rats and he'd attack send the rats on you The rats lived in the basement. He'd feed them and if you fucked with them, he'd feed the fucking rats on you Oh my god So on a clip from willard go ahead will it 19 fucking 70 or something like that I can't believe you don't know this shit. This is the creepiest That is not a movie I've ever watched. Yeah, and then they remade it with the kid, but

Nobody knew what the fuck it was Willard when I was a kid was the scariest Most disturbing fucking film I ever saw as a child and I saw a bunch of child movies I shouldn't have fucking saw as a child. This shit was fucking disturbing Wait till you watch this fucking video or the trailer for it now like I said It also was released They did a remake of it when I forget the kid his father was in the hard times

They didn't see What happened here, Lee, I don't know the TV the TV might have gone in the first I guess fucking uh That's what happens when you come in an hour before the fucking show and check things out a cocksucker He comes here and I know I get here in seven and I check stuff out Really? I get in there you're texting back and forth with movies. What's on fucking Netflix? Jesus Christ I didn't see I did you had willard john stewart. You want to do the john stewart one

Yeah, let's see that one. That's the one that's the it should be the fucking one But see if they got the trail. This is a trailer. No, this is not no, no Willard the movie. Yeah, I did Jesus christ done a crush right here part one. You want to watch that one or do you want to look for the trailer? No the trailer Okay, willard capitalized willard So they know you there you go. Watch willard. Watch this. You're gonna want to suddenly watch this scoopy shit I already don't like it. Look at this. Look up here

Willard takes good care of them and then we'll do anything. Nope Nope, he would take him to parties and shit This is my nightmare. Look at this You made me hate myself Well, I like myself Where your nightmares end I told you There's rocks everywhere

Nope Is the one movie you should not see alone. I'm telling you dog. What the fuck do you think you do? Listen people. I don't know nothing about movie. I don't know nothing about stars and meteors and fucking What happens in london? I don't give a fuck But when it comes to creepy fucking movies, uncle joey runs the fucking gabbler, right? Put on willow put on another scene from just the movie. It's fucking crazy. Let me tell you something I forgot urn is bog nine was in that movie. This is a legit movie people Urn is bog nine 1970 here. I am seven years old

I can barely fucking speak english and I end up at this fucking movie about rats now when you're sitting there Watching rats one thing I remember about this movie was that everything became hypersensitive like my own foot Scared my own foot Like give it like having your foot touch your other foot. Oh, yeah, like that's how scary that movie was like I left there too I can jump like a little girl. I couldn't deal with this shit. I'm just moving on I couldn't deal with this shit at that age But to think that this came out and then they redid the fucking thing And they couldn't the kid couldn't uh

Jesus christ. What's the fucking kid's name that redid it glova? Glova did it danie glover. No, not the black fucking dude. That's the black actor. Come on Which I put in just put a willard uh put full movie just so we could scare the fuck out of your league There you go. Put the full movie I just put that scene right there complete. Yeah Let's see And yet we our podcast gets taken down by the entire willards up there This is the scariest fucking thing I ever saw

I'm telling you it was this and that was the devil's tongue or the devil's disciples or some I don't need to put this on people get upset and stuff Okay, it'll creep you out. You ate four stars. You don't need this shit your fucking life But there's a movie so The sequel to this was ben. Let's see the trailer for ben. All right, there you go So will it came out in 70 so i'm seven And then the movie ben came out. There you go trailer 72. What's this? Oh, no, it's yeah where will it left off

Look at this shit It's been the last one from willards pack. Oh damn Oh Maybe he was bad. That's the name of the leader of the rats. There were some pages from willards diary in the newspapers There's a fucked up movie guys I see socrates Ben was somebody's son. Look at him What

No, you think that watch was like the studio out of money they could just hire rats The rats took over the city And then they're gonna drown you run Ben run, please Why does he like Ben? And his army of rats are on the way This is fucking crazy. You see what i'm saying though Do you see how intense the 70s was now what year the ben came out 72 So I was nine and I was already getting traumatized by fucking rats. That's why I hate fucking rats

Now i'm thinking about why I hate rats not the ones who snitch that's bullshit though These fucking things these animals that live in new york city that I saw growing up I saw a fucking rat one time after this movie It was one of my godmothers buildings 148th street in the basement. I was taking the garbage out. Okay. There's fucking rats eyes No, we're so fucking big We're so fucking big. I saw his head. He was like a little fucking chihuahua I ran out of it. This thing was gigantic. No these animals were huge. I can't deal with me I've seen him in the subway, but that's about it. What subway in new york?

Uh, both boston and york. I think you're right here I had mice and like I had a really old shitty apartment in my last semester in boston So I had mice that I had to catch but mice and rats are two different animals look crazy That would freak me out. Listen, I don't want to see nothing this shit when I wake up in the middle of the night in my old house in jersey When they built giant stadium all those rodents from sea quark started moving up north So we all of a sudden had a small Station like one or two might be sitting tv and I'd watch them run out

And run back in their fucking hole. I would shit my pants. I couldn't even sleep at night. I couldn't even fucking sleep at night. So Speaking of uh, I did that podcast with dice Yes, and it's so weird that people didn't know what was going on Like people thought I got up like something was going on like I'd gotten a text. I just want to clarify I'd gotten up that morning to go to ventura to do radio. And then from there I went to john mccarty's to do his podcast And on the way to acupuncture dice called and said i'm i'm doing Rogan, but I can only do an hour. My press schedule is too crazy Why don't you meet me up there? Let's blow a bone. Let's talk and then we'll do the podcast

I go, you know what? I can do the same, but I gotta leave it 245 too. I have a four o'clock That's why I did the podcast And that's why I had to leave people thought about it. I only ate 200 milligrams. That didn't even affect me Oh, yeah, that doesn't do nothing to me. But the crazy thing was People thought that I had to leave and why was I not talking? I wasn't talking because it was dice's podcast Dice invited me to be on this podcast I can't go on this podcast etiquette. Mm-hmm. There really isn't a lot of people don't there really is a podcast etiquette We had a guest about four months ago. He called me up like a man. He wanted to promote something. Okay

We brought him in the podcast wasn't in one minute. He's yelling the fucking date That broke the podcast Now you're selling me. I just wanted to hear a fucking conversation You know what i'm saying like that that that that's It was kind of fucking weird. Let's start off with a fucking conversation. You just don't go for a pussy You suck at ditties. You kiss a neck. You rub her fucking ears And I think the issue might be is a lot of people might not listen to podcasts The people who are doing podcasts now probably don't listen to other people's podcasts. Well, that's the thing

You have to have some type of podcast etiquette. That's why I don't get involved In more than two people podcast. Nope I don't like those big eight people podcast five people podcast because it doesn't really matter because if I talk Then i'm talking too much and if I don't talk then i'm too fucking quiet. You know what here It's equal opportunity employer. We talk some shit. We smoke a few bones We watch a video about fucking rats and everybody goes home happy That's why I don't get involved in those things and conferences and what happened with the fucking festival They ever get back to you? I know no, I told you those things I could put

That's why I don't do festivals because all this is you getting together with your buddies There's no doorway me adam And at the end of the week you'll get on the plane you go. What was that about? I just left my home for three nights to do what to talk to a bunch of jobs. I really want to do it I don't know There's there's a few of them that are doing it, but yeah, it's weird It's we've we've talked about every time i've been involved in a festival. Yeah It's been a nightmare. There's a by the way

There's always a by the way Because being part of a festival means that you get to see your peers and Hang out and be a part of a panel and all that shit But at the end of the day In the plane you go, what did I do? You were part of something for You know I'm saying Like so every festival I did way

I mean I did like three or four festivals for comedy like mediocre ones like the Toyota one in new york I did the latino live festival. I did the one here downtown And I could tell you one thing I didn't do nothing for me They weren't fun because I've heard Ari talk about he does a lot of festivals all that shit because they're fun But he loses money that's what he says. That's the bottom line That's the one you don't want to lose money anymore. I don't want to have fun. I don't have fun. I go to the circus

You know what I'm saying? I'm the fun fun. I get Ari. I understand, you know Ari likes to go down and he stays up to four And they goof around they smoke joints Somebody I don't want to see somebody do the festival anthem. I don't want to see that I don't want to be a part of that at all ever Ever And just as an interest to you don't want to be that many people not alone. No, not at all never

You know never they're like all years ago when they were doing the left The last just for last in Chicago. They asked For me to come down and I was like, I'm not really interested. I got my podcast I do my little stand-up. I'm good I'm good Is it because that are you like angry because you didn't go to other festivals? No, just Years ago it's better to want than to have

A lot of times in life you realize that and not pretending to a career But pertaining to a certain move you want to do Sometimes you get involved in something and we really don't think out the fucking plan But that's what life is all about learning from Not really mistakes from from experiences. I don't consider mix mistakes I consider them experiences. There's a big difference between a mistake and experience And you can have an experience and not fucking like it at all

You can have an experience and not like it or I might take it to Morocco You might talk to eight fucking momos at starbucks Who tell you they went to morocco and had great and they had the gala comments said Buddhas and When you go to this hotel, make sure you see mu mu He's the coolest guy around and and you get there and the guy smells like a goat and the food is fucking horrible And your shit blood and there was fucking Stains on your mattress and you know the place stunk like shit. I'm not saying that this is what I'm just telling you

From different experiences. So that experience for joe Diaz that he said it was great Maybe ain't the same fully Are you gonna come up to me? Are you the type of guy gonna come up to me and say, you know what joe? I love you to death, but that really sucked No, you're a nice guy. You're gonna get one good thing out of it. Well, I went to see a movie You know, I know you I went to see this movie at a festival and who gives a fuck So my point is that I wanted to when I first got into I wanted to get the festival say listen at the Toyota festivals the soprano people discovered me

I have no ill will to festivals At the san Antonio latino lab festival one of the best experiences I have he'll tell you he talks about it on stage from bobby lee So me and bobby lee, okay, we're both broke Flat broke. We didn't know until we got down that they were gonna pay us for the check So Do you have to go to like a cat checking a check cashing place? No a check that they were gonna mail us in a month Oh, no, and it was $50 a set and we did three sets. It's $150 And they gave us a plane ticket in the fucking back of the plane barely with straps around our thing

We flew out in the air. We had a wear a winter jacket That's fucked up. Yeah, and that was okay. There was no PDM There was no discounted breakfast. There was nothing they took care of us in no particular order So in new york, I knew what I expected all I wanted was a set there So they put me in this fucking show that was horrific. Obviously. They didn't know me. I wasn't friends with anybody So they put me to close the show At 12 15 at night when everybody disappeared. Do you understand me? So now you're not friends with the festival dude. So you follow me they put slots

And then there was one other one I did the one I did downtown that one was about Was I still doing blow? Gotta be close to when I got off blow and that was it That was that that was that was it that was it That was it You just prefer doing your own show and getting out of there get my own show and doing that. I don't want to see nobody I won't be involved in nothing No group pictures no group pictures no group hugs

And I really did all that I paid my dues Is it Are you just trying to save time like that's what every time I think about like all the things you do I just think of like a wasting time and and you're like, okay. Well, I'm just gonna cut out All of the fat. I don't know. I wasted 30 years of my fucking life I got a second chance Do I look at the type of guy that has time to waste fucking time? I

wish I could get 15 a little sturdy back And I can't by staying healthy Sleeping resting planning out my movements not getting fucking aggravated not getting shot Avoid going somewhere where the gunman's gonna come in and shoot like a midnight showing a fucking batman Okay with my kid. Okay Uh, you just avoid this fat out of your life You know

I was strong enough for the certain aids. I have a friend that I hung out with for years And okay, the other day we're talking about friendship Okay, okay. Hey, this was a very weird friendship. We met in Seattle I like them I like them, but I realized something by the third month That he was a fucking Horrible liar But as a friend I accepted that

You just lie about things. Yeah lie about things lie about his dreams lie about his You know, he was just to find his experiences and how they were and But that was him. I accepted him for him And then he moved down here and I moved down here and we were friends and He opened this home to me but During that time I made observations Do you know I'm saying of his friendship and now he would talk and different

Things that he did and there was a time when I wanted to throw him a beating But he had done something for me once he had done something for me that was so overwhelming That not a lot of people would do Did I just gave him a life pass What'd he do? He just did me a solid. Okay. Let's just say he did me a real solid what a guy would do But the solid was that strong at that time So no matter what he did he accused me of a couple things

He went but I'm yet a couple things now. I knew all these things I knew all these things there was times I get money and I throw him a little duke because he'd get mail from me at his house For years. I didn't like getting mail where I live Why just in case I want nobody knowing my edges So from 1990, where'd you come up with this stuff? So from 1990 to 2010

Nobody really knew my exact address So I got my mail sent to his house And my license was at his house You follow me I thought yeah, so I would have to call him every day and go over and get my shit And sometimes my shit was open From who? He would open

Oh, that's fucked up and I couldn't say nothing Yes, you could And then he became something else he quit his job Because he had gone to stupid hollywood parties And he had heard this term and he wanted to become one of those people So he had worked on stupid projects And he did that dumb job, which whatever he tell you his job was you'd find out now. He wasn't

Like that's how bad of a liar he was We knew other people that would get him the job And so he'd be like i'm the supervisor, but he was a bus boy. He was a bus boy And we knew people at the same place I just kept happening Lee You know and here I am 10 12 years of this guy and I thought that lying shit was gonna wear off So that career that he told everybody he was a big shot it failed so bad It failed so bad that he got evicted from this house

Still held on to his pride. I never said nothing to him Wasn't my business. I played along with the he wanted to leave I had to go I got a job offer To be involved with a huge project Up and wherever the fuck he was from I was happy for him. He left. It was then the chapters In my mind. I'm like this bum is never gonna come back. I don't really have to deal with this shit no more I'm down here fighting for my fucking life. It's 2008. There's about to be a strike 2007. Yeah 2008 2007

He's fucking I'm on the phone Sorry about that people he's telling me how he Uh Is waiting for a check And if the strike happens He'll clear 750 thousand dollars on his next project You know that he needs to strike to happen and all this shit

And I swear to god that I got off the phone with him after that conversation And I go this guy's living In his mother's basement Me well, I'm down here living in schrader Addicted to blow banging it out getting fucking movies and trying to make moves and I'm on the phone with some idiot Three thousand miles away trying to tell me In a place that the last thing they shot there was a fucking mule They haven't even shot a commercial in 200 years. He's trying to tell me he's involved in a project that he's only clear 750 thousand dollars

You know, I got off that phone at that moment. I knew I was never going to talk to that motherfucker anymore He was too negative. Do you know why? Because I don't have time for that shit. No, I'm trying to deal with real people. You know, there was a timely With this fucking phone used to ring 45 times a day. That's my wife That's my wife go home one day when you come over and we go to my wife Go back to 2006. What time would this phone start ringing? and one time

What this? Salute motherfucker. It's time for another bonagram. That's right So who's just falling asleep at work? Bonagram cocksuck. This is what happened I said someone who's just falling asleep at work just woke right up. Okay, so there's one time that your phone was ringing My phone would ring at all hours of the night. I remember when we first started dating She sat me up one day after like six months and she was like, I don't understand this lifestyle People calling here calling your cocksucker. Was it the house for her cell phone boat? Oh, no, the house phone. That's terrible. And you probably make her answer the phone

No, no, no We had caller ID So we know who was calling it was always comics and Friends and an agent. How did you get anything done with 45 calls? And it was a lot of comedians Who used to call me and try to work me What does that mean, you know, hey man, what's up? I listen man. I heard you in the stain Can you drop a headshot over there for me and I would sit there and go? Yeah, and then I think about and I go, how rude That

That always happens and like when I when I was working on Hell's Kitchen this girl Then I had like never spoken one to word two in high school facebook message me And hey, I heard you're on house kitchen Can uh, can I send you a video because she was like she she wanted to be on the show That's crazy. And I one day I started going off on people one by one Like just one by one like listen, man, I can't do like this weekend. I got three calls already for guest sets And bruh, I don't want to do guest sets. I don't want to establish that quota I'm doing it on a Thursday for Tommy Easter. That's it. I don't have guest sets on the weekends

They pay money. I don't want no guest sets And you're not gonna enhance the fucking show. You're not gonna enhance it by now You just want to come down there and do stupid fucking jokes and then bury me so guest sets in my future never happened at all Because I don't want to ask for guest sets when I was pounding it out there I wouldn't ask for guest sets unless you invited me unless you saw me during the weekends. Hey, man, what are you doing Friday night? I'm doing a show at the impromptu come do a fucking seven-minute guest set after the mc I would never ask

that's not even in my fucking world of comprehension, but To get back to what you were saying before Every year you learn Lee And you start cutting fat. Let me tell you something From 2000 and I kid you not You know, I taught tell you how it is Lee from 2004 and you can ask Terry from 2004 to 2008 Lee

Right. I was going to three maybe four lunches a week hearing pitches bullshit stories Me and people for coffee I was open to anybody. You know me You got an idea And I realized that Half the people I was meeting with wanted me to do the work for them And that's a horrible fucking feeling

How would you do the work for them as an actor like fundraising and promoting and stuff? I had people come to me from like when spider-man 2 came out mad tv I had a couple things come out, but nobody talked to me as a stand-up So people always try to put me on bills as that actor And then try to give me like 125 out of And I'd sit there and go how does this work? You know when you when I first moved to Los Angeles the status quo was you got on a tv show or you recurred

And because of that, this is 98 97 99 2000 When you went to a local comedy club people would come see you Because you had been on that tv show or you had been in that movie That all changed when I started booking movies You followed me also and I started booking movies. Ah, that that that don't work no more. It's a new system And it's a new fucking system credits in transfer. So it was just really weird. I was a lot of people want to shoot movies and use me And I'm like, so what is it? What oh, you know, oh my god

There was this movie I met these guys for No, it's just I drove in Hollywood And I was at the light and they used to be at mcdonald's there And way before I met lee sciat in 1990 fucking eight when I got from 240 to 350 in six weeks Terry Clark would make a tremendous breakfast in those days And I would shoot right from the house after smoking pot and go to that mcdonald's before 11 And get the egg McMuffin package with this coke and two apple pies for a dollar

And across the street from there used to be a little fucking it's hollywood sunset boulevard And uh highland Okay The school is still there hollywood high. I think it is or something. Yeah Is there they used to be a kenny roger's Freezer there like a whatever. It's not there no more either. I don't even know what's there now Doesn't really matter the story. I'm trying to get to was across the street from that guys was a A place a theater

Unless you fucking walked into that mall parked your car and walked around people You wouldn't know there was a theater in there Like a movie theater like a theater where people go and watch plays and one man shows and whatever The guy that owned the fucking theater was joe jerkoff I get a call one day to go in there to read for a fucking movie You know agents get calls all the time and they go k joe dears. They look at the paperwork the paperwork with legit decides So I go down there. I meet with the guys I read Guys a big tough guy

At the first read he says to me listen Go home and learn the like in those days. I don't want to shit Like unless I know the budget you know what I'm saying Because I don't want to go I don't want to really go prepared. I want to show you that I could uh React to direction Okay, so a lot of times If it's a in those days I was going to read for a movie guys and it was four auditions before I got the movie So the first one's called the pre read you read one paragraph you meet the guy. Okay show up next Thursday

So now you go from like a shitty theater to next Thursday to a casting office To the call back at the studio At either fox Warner brothers or sony. You know what I'm saying to the final read at sony That's how the system was in those days. And what is it now? Now they call you and say send the fucking reel and we're putting you on a veil from august 1st of the 19th They've cut that in half

Because that's just budgeting. I got to pay those people every step of the way You think lee's gonna pre read people for what fight all the now or no lee wants 200 a fucking day to pre read people Yeah, it's expensive. Yeah, it's expensive. So they cut out all those steps They just got the casting and said let me see a list of your actors They approve. Okay, when you get these type of rolls offer them fucking guest star money and give them dates Send us all our tapes. We'll judge people from tapes They eliminated you even making the ride down there Now do they do that for like the bigger rolls?

Like my question is could you stop accepting the rolls that aren't paying you what you want and only go out for Those big rolls. I did I stopped doing 100 all day movies 265 whatever 444. I don't want to do I'm even saying now because you because you were saying you Like even now you're you come to me you come to me tomorrow and you go listen. I wrote a fucking script. Okay Read it If you like it call me back Okay, I'm not even I'm gonna look at you and go can I ask you personal questions there a budget? You're gonna go that's there is but I want you to read and call me back

Because I want you to call me and tell me that you you wrote a script But you wrote a character that I put play and I understand and the character understands me I know I sound faggy But I'm just getting to something. No, it's perfect. I could be I could be a butcher That whatever I could do a lot of fucking dumb shit If I read this script and not my pants off and I say to you hold on one second. Who's playing this role and who's playing that room? And you say to me james woods is playing this role who's no big star He's a character actor that nobody would pay money to go watch in a movie if you put him in a big movie

He's great, right But you're not gonna put james woods as the actor to go watch Not usually. Yeah. No, so okay, so You say james, you know, I've done a thousand a hundred dollar a day movies with actors that are great actors You know the guy from dm hunter james russo. I've done a lot of great movies with guys that you've seen and go wow Why is that guy doing a hundred dollar a day movie because they're probably giving him 350 a day And they give them six days. It's 19 $2,000 without overtime That fills in the gaps for those guys

in between the big movies Right, no, I understand and I and I understand that you have to take other roles Right, but you if you wanted to Stop getting those small roles. Could you just do those big roles have auditions or are they just giving out? Sometimes there's auditions and you go meet with the director and the producer and the star of the movie You know, I've gone to a thousand movies when I walked in the room And there's a casting director a producer and john to vault or Or a fucking the other guy or or you know, I've been in those situations

It's a shocking situation Yeah, when you first walk in because they don't tell you Oh, really? No, they're not gonna tell you it's revolta is going to be in the room But johnny banana is going to be in the room elisa. I add they don't tell you dick They go you're gonna go in there and read for the casting director That's the first time then the second time there might be a producer in the room Then the third time they want to see the chemistry The dudes in the fucking room

Yeah, that makes sense the dudes in the room. They want to see the fucking chemistry about to spend a lot of money Yeah, they want to see the chemistry in those highland. That's why they call those screen tests That's why they call those big tv shows like abc now. They're picky nbc those networks are Are looking for a specific look well and they make you go in there and read and it's a fucking nightmare I I saw uh gabriel's doing his new show right now In a while he instagrammed a picture that martin had to Audition to be himself in the show right that's crazy. No you have to it's a they don't give a fuck It's like a Seinfeld joke. Yeah, there's no more. Yo you're coming in here, but

The question you were asking me was what how do we even fucking get to this shit? Huh? Oh, no, it's just about choosing the audition to go out on choosing the auditions you go on but This fucking dude, I had to stop talking to him And one of the reasons why I stopped talking to him honest to god Was because of time I started chopping away at time People go to me. Jesus joy. Where'd you come from? I've been doing comedy for 25 years this june

I started using my time correctly around 10 years ago And that's when I started becoming a comic I've told you a thousand times I know a thousand people who don't have jobs, but they're always busy Because they manage their time They wake up at six and from seven to ten you'll catch them doing something that's three good hours Then you know what at ten they'll take a ride to go to library They'll go to a martial arts class to work out

Then they'll go back to work its control It's waste of time. It's what you do with your time When I was just going to the comedy store and writing jokes in the car to the comedy store, that's what I got from comedy But when I started sitting down and writing stories and actually Wow going wait a second. I should take that fuck out of there and replace it with a shit Or throw that joke out. That's when comedy Flourished for me That just doesn't happen in comedy

That's gonna happen with paula when she becomes a lawyer that happens when you're a dentist That happens when you work for yourself and you're an artist time management is the most important thing That's been the hardest part from me. Okay, and then you start thinking about why am I meeting this jerk off for coffee? This is my prime time money area If I'm not writing if I'm not picking up an envelope. I'm writing What am I writing? I got 10 things to write a book A fucking tv show and a special So

Unless we're doing something as spectacular It's a no It's a no And I stick to my guns But I've done that all alone with comedy except I started chopping it little by little If you're a new guy and you come to me right now, what were we talking about lately when we were talking about the honor protein powder What was the key word we spoke about? Lifestyle. Oh, yeah, lifestyle change lifestyle. That's what happens to people. They become comics

They try to become a comedian, but they can't adjust to the lifestyle change You gotta start telling people no And it goes away from your mind It disappears from your mind And I have a problem. I always assume those people are gonna get mad But they never really do Nobody gets mad everybody understands No is no

There's a thing where there's a a lie There's a thing that's called a brutal lie, but it's happening a brutal lie is I Can't do this no more ideally I can't afford you and I just can't do this no more with you. I think I'm gonna cancel the church And you wait two weeks you go get an editing job and also i'm doing the church with somebody else That's a brutal lie

That's a brutal lie This happened that happened. This is why it's a brutal lie. Yeah, and there's things that are called white lies that hurt no one Hey, what are you doing september 26? I'm getting married in the Bahamas Uh, Joe Diaz has a show Well, I looked at his website. It's not in there. Oh, it's on there It's on there. You just haven't looked close enough You know, I don't go on the road with joy, but for some reason that week he wants me to go with him

Paul is sitting there watching tv and popcorn looking at you like You know That's a white lie These are business reasons You just don't choose To go to the Bahamas on the 26th for some of these wedding And you don't want to ask is there a cruise are you paying for the cruise on the way down there? Are you paying for the hotel because somewhere along the line? This isn't a cost you money

Time money and a ton of money and you don't really have time for nine days You're in the middle of a podcast You're trying to do the podcast with the girls. You're working your consulting business. So what are you telling me? I can't I don't have time They freak out. Come on. What do you mean? You don't have time for me joey Diaz We've been friends for 20 years Let me talk to paula. She's great. Yeah, you know, it's fucking so hard to Explain yourself to people sometimes

So sometimes you have to say a white lie Sometimes and people It's business It's fucking business Sometimes Lee I don't have the time to explain to you I don't know you well enough to say You know what my daughter gets caught sick on the way fucking down there I can't take you down. You know what I'm saying like I don't have time. I don't know you that well

Right, you know after a certain age you start thinking out the move before it happens Hey, what are you doing next weekend me and some friends are going to San Diego And we want to see if you want to go down there. We're gonna leave on thursday on the train Also, you start doing them that In your head you start thinking about right there as they're telling you The time yeah, like wait a second. That means I got a pack. I got to cancel work on friday I got a fucking pack. I got to get somebody to watch the cats I got a fucking uh, and who am I staying with? Well, we're all gonna share rooms, you know

We're gonna three people a room that means I got to smell somebody's farts And here's somebody talking on my lung and somebody's gonna be drunk in the room All I want to do is do blow and get my dick suck I'm very happy. Why am I one of my dropping 800 to go to san diego? I'm not gonna get my dick suck. I'm gonna be in a room with two other people I'm like, let's stay home safe for 100 slow napal by myself Maybe the neighbor come over and lick my balls. If I let me take a chance Columbus did There's sometimes you make a fucking you know where this is gonna go

And you know yourself At a certain age one day you go fucking. I know myself Is this what I really want to fucking do And it never is Like all those vacations that you really plan Always seem to have something go wrong Like the really over planned vacations like those and especially I I hate going on those trips where people are sharing rooms Because then people are like splitting bills at restaurants weirdly and they don't

That's that's just I don't know what I want to do So when listen, I gotta get up tomorrow and go to Bray. I know that for sure Okay, that's for sure. That's a positive I know I gotta pick my wife up tomorrow. That's a positive that plane might be late There's gonna be severe weather in chicago and fucking paduca Fucking there's gonna be bad weather in texas tomorrow all across the fucking. Iowa is the whole fucking deal I got that going on

I got radio in the morning But between fucking 11 and 5 I really have nothing much going on if my wife cancels a flight or whatever the fuck You know, that's my time. That's my time to choose So I leave that open. I'm gonna see how I feel If I'm swell from jiu-jitsu today, maybe I won't do kettlebells tomorrow But if I'm not you follow me if I'm not so I do kettlebells. I don't know what's gonna really crack to the morning You know what? I might get a call at 9 a.m. To go for an audition at 12 15 tomorrow for a big time fucking movie

That's always everyone always can they can never understand when they call me and they're like What are your pockets this weekend? I'm like, I don't know how many times have I called you and I've told you nobody knows nothing I don't know nothing. Yeah I don't know nothing. I don't know nothing. I don't know nothing till tomorrow morning Because it changes I've I've I've sat there till seven and shut the fucking phone off at seven And got back to the phone at 10. I got three missed calls from a fucking agent or three messages from an agent

Because nobody else leaves me messages. Just you know Just the agents I remember when we were shooting or getting ready to shoot the documentary Like your wife put me through like a joey Diaz boot camp Like every time I started to like ask a question or like try to clarify a date or something Nothing you just you feel like I don't know. We don't know nothing. We don't know nothing till the day of I and it's funny because people contact you with plans and agendas. I don't know nothing I don't know nothing. Why do you bother me say that when you have to have a plan? Because it's the other day some kid hit me up. Hey, man, I'm a big fan. I just want you to know that when you come to Buffalo

Uh, I love to be a driver. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. I want you to come over and eat and then listen Why are you bothering me? Buffalo is five weeks away I'm not even worried about Buffalo right now Buffalo is not even on my fucking radar. Even if I wanted it to be I'm worried about prayer I'm not even worried about Monday I don't know what month why wait who knows Hey Joey, what are we doing next week? I have no idea

Yeah, I have a rough I have a rough schedule in my mind, but no one gets to see that one But no, it's loose It's very loose I'm a little sore. I took on a leaf You know, I got to do radio in the morning. I got to shoot out of the fucking house early in the morning All right, I don't have my car. I'm driving my wife's car. So I haven't had the phone in the car I don't drive with the fucking phone on the car I just don't even put it on right because why pick it up and give a ticket

I get pissed when I see people driving with a fucking phone. So I don't pick up my fucking phone You know, if I'm in my car, I'll Bluetooth a bit, but in my wife's car, I don't know how to Bluetooth I don't touch nothing. I don't touch nothing because I don't know if I want to break it You get these people to get in your car that start touching things next You know, you put your car and you got opera and Chinese You know, what the fuck is this shit? No, but I've had that people come in my car and they touch shit. Don't touch nothing I don't touch nothing in your fucking car. You know what? I put the radio on if that's not the music

I don't want. I just shut the radio off I go No, I go deep into my thoughts We got thoughts. I go deep into my fucking thoughts all the time People come in your car every time I am but my wife touches my car next, you know, I get in the car I bust my knee because it's a midget seat. I don't even I fit in it, but my leg goes I break my fucking ankle every time I get in What are you doing? Just shoving your foot in there like this?

Yeah, I gotta tell every fucking time listen every time you get out of the car put the seat back where it belongs One day, I'm gonna break my fucking ankle in the goddamn car. I don't touch nothing. I don't do nothing Listen And guess what? I don't want to know nothing. I don't know and I don't want to know Most importantly, I think with you. I don't know. I don't fucking want to know I don't know. I have no idea what I'm doing. July 12th, but you know what? I really don't care And I really don't care what you're doing. It's not like I wouldn't be surprised when Davey just got a call here and just left I've been stressing out lately. I don't know if you know like last week. I was in hell last week

Well, can I ask why? I don't know. Yeah, I was in hell last week because I had to take this trip with my wife to fucking Whatever and then Well, I got on the plane Listen, I fly for a living. I'm only gonna plane to go somewhere. I'm gonna go somewhere take a picture I don't want to go nowhere. All right. I don't want to say nothing So let's save the stand because I don't want to know I've been getting eaten alive somebody invited me to their wedding And my wife told me don't want you got to talk to him, you know the date And then the person called me and I said listen, man

Listen, I'm gonna tell you something right off the bat because I'm I can't lie to them. I can't give them a white lie. So listen I suffer from extreme fucking anxiety You know what that means? That's a new type of anxiety. I invented That means if something bothers me, I start yelling and screaming and shit like a retard. I don't know nothing I don't want to sit. So I told I said here's the deal You got to pick one And she goes, what are you telling me? I know you got to pick one And she goes, what do you mean? I go, it's either the church or the party

And she was you want to come to both I go you want me to lie to you or tell you the truth And she goes why not and she goes I was gonna invite you to the the dinner I go That's not gonna happen That's not gonna happen. That's the rehearsal Friday night. That's never gonna happen The only way I go to the rehearsal it's a chance dragging it I broke it down just like that For anyone's wedding

I don't give a fuck. No, I'm saying like if it was like someone can you will you go to one and another I could talk to them. We grew up together. Okay. So I said the only way I'll go to this rehearsal Then I said we go to chance dragon And I heard silence just like the way you look at me right now So I know that wasn't gonna fall and she goes why not and I go because I'm not into that shit I'll sit there and it drives me crazy after 20 minutes. I gotta go I gotta go. What do you want? I gotta go. I gotta get out of here I don't I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what you I don't care if a truck will design you that that means nothing to me

I want spare ribs The only thing that'll calm me down and make me listen to all these people and their stupid stories Just if I got an egg roll and spare ribs, I could just look at them and smile and shake my head up and down I give a fuck while I'm eating the fucking while I'm dipping the fucking egg roll in the mustard. You understand me? I'll sit there and look at you and nod my head. Sure. Yeah fight. Right. Whatever Yes, I'm gonna death. Yeah. Oh, yes No, you gotta yes people in that You gotta sometimes

What is this noise? I sit here every night. It sounds like the fucking train the godfather I'm supposed to shoot you outside. What is this fucking noise that we got that? They won't move myself a flight schedule directly over what time is it? Where's it coming in from fucking NASA? There's amazing So that that's it. I just don't like doing that that shit late I wasn't raised that way. I like being a free spirit. I can't commit to a date

You want me to get on the plane and not pick up an envelope? I gotta go and see a palm tree I don't want to see a palm tree. I see enough palm trees. I live right. I got a palm tree on my block I do I got a nice palm tree on my block. I gotta go down there and see a golf. I don't want to play golf I like exactly how it's done No, what are you gonna say to parents who say well when mercy gets older You're gonna have to be on some sort of schedule. I do have her on the schedule. I don't mind her schedule I'll do whatever the fuck she needs to do. That's a completely different game. She needs to go Oh, she can be on a schedule, but you're yeah for her

I'll make my schedule around her because I enjoy her company Yeah, she she so you're gonna like are you gonna go to like soccer games and all that stuff if I'm in town Fuck yeah, that's gonna be so much fun If listen, I want to be a part of that. I have plans a man without a plan is not a man I enjoy going on the road. I enjoy writing fucking jokes But you know what the flight's back is starting to fucking kill me And The dizzy spells I get when I fucking drive I get fucking carsick. I've been good this week. So I'm doing something right

I haven't got carsick all this week. I also haven't been up and down Laurel Canyon So okay, I got on that I went to Ventura didn't get carsick went to oxnard didn't get carsick Drove all the way down to four or five didn't get fucking carsick. So I'm doing something right Maybe maybe take the 101 to the comedy store now Try that I gotta go all the way around. That's too much mileage. I don't want to but Lee seriously when I started respecting my time right when I started making big movements in my life, okay When I started handling my time one thing about me is I love getting up early since I was in the fifth grade

Once I got left back I wanted to do everything on my own and I did everything on my own I like doing everything on my fucking own like something like this week. I almost burnt the house down twice That guy Lee was here one time. I left the stove on the other time. I left the fucking oven on I left the back door open I'm a mess. I can't be around those animals. I feel so bad. I have to feed them and hug them this shit They're living like what the fuck is going on. My mother's been gone for a week. You got to respect your time Uh Rogan has a big it's a big time guy the big time guys they have time

Mitch headberg really taught me the importance of time You could fucking light Mitch headberg's door on fire when he lived on syria bonita From eight to twelve. Mitch headberg wrote every day And he would not and there was no phone. There was nothing. There was no radio. There was nothing But that's what worked for him He respected that time There was a comic years ago. His name was quarry miller. They called him zoom man I don't even know. I think he shortened it to zoo because they tried to sue him

Zoom man came out here quarry miller and got a big time deal and I became friends with him He's a very good looking dude. He's still around doing college is very funny Talented to the fucking end of time. But one thing I learned about him in 1999 Was that he wrote something seven days a week every day was something different Like a different subject different subject poetry on monday, even though he wasn't a poet He read his poetry. He was no poet, but he tried that was his interpretation of poetry Tuesday he wrote comedy. Wednesday. He wrote a screenplay Thursday. He wrote a book friday. He wrote comedy He locked himself in a room for three hours a day

He wrote his own script. He took it to abc. They didn't pick it up. He took his money. He left But he did the steps a to z on his own And his discipline was the writing and guess what just because he was doing it. Guess what lee? I wasn't doing it Did you why weren't you doing it? Because I was lazy. I was addicted to drugs So I thought that my system was better and yes, I was a naturally funny guy, but there was no content You know I'm saying all I had to do is write a story of my life at that point and we would have had the ball rolling Do you think you being naturally funny held you back?

Yes, it made me very lazy at times It made me lazy after I got into the store. I think about all those years It made me very lazy because I knew I could go up there And smoke and mirror them now at least I'm giving them something. I'm giving them something about myself. I'm leaving something up there And they're getting it. You know I'm saying which I want to switch it up on this next tour you follow me I really want to switch it up. That's why I've been hibernating just Trying new shit, you know, you have to evolve when I was on mma's podcast yesterday We talked evolution. I learned a lot from MMA from evolving

Speaking of MMA something happened this week that people in shocker You know and we need to talk about it because a lot of people asked me about this you know The email numbers have been going down the last six or seven weeks They went from being 90 emails a week 70 emails a week to 40 Okay, but the subject the main subject I was looking at this monday afternoon when I was answering emails The main subject still is people trying to get their shit together And how it starts and it starts with a plan

And there's a way to do it and there's a way not to do it because there's different situations of getting your shit together And they're sitting out We've discussed how many times I got in trouble as a young man and how much police contact I had as a man I could look you straight in the eye Lee The only disdain I ever had for a police officer Was for the police officer who was in charge of my case in bolder Which one was that His name was david something

Oh, um, uh, which case was it the kidnapping case the other case Because he really believed that he was doing something And he wasn't doing anything You know what I am like he really believes somewhere that he was doing something for the community or something Why do you think he wasn't? because He didn't know he's just a tool in society That for every joey deer as you put away there's 19 more coming your way and there's nothing you could do

Yeah, but he still has to do that He still has to do it, but the way he acted during the whole thing like he acted like fucking Adam 12. Okay, but anyway, that was the only cop but in that whole 18 month experience. I never Listed my voice to that man I just didn't talk to him Which really fucked him up Did you not even acknowledge him or what did you do the only time I talked to him was the day of my arrest

And then he would come they'd send investigators to talk to me and I'd say you gotta talk to my attorney I wouldn't talk to him And then when we go to court, he tried to address me and shit And I wouldn't even look at the motherfucker and part of the reason why was because he was looking for me for a different case And I didn't want him to look at me and fucking remember that he was looking for me for a different case at the time But that's not the The thing of the story. I never Disrespected him

In fact, the district attorney in the case I bumped into him at the supermarket a couple times I ain't gonna lie nobody the first time I bumped into him the second and third time I creeped up on him. You're following me because I wanted to talk to him And my relationship with him was great. In fact, those conversations we had reduced his sentence by three fucking years Because he got to know the real me He told you reduced it by three years. I I lived it. I saw him I saw it happen. I saw him drop from nine years and eight

To four to six and then they gave me four It was his call I'm telling you this right now Sometimes man like with club owners now I have an agent that talks to club owners, but sometimes I call them on the side And talk to them because I want them to know I'm a human being that's very important to me So I wanted this district attorney to know that wasn't just a person on a piece of paper and mugshot I wanted him to talk to me. It was important. So I just went up on him one day and I go what's happening And he's like you live around here. I go. Yeah, I live around the corner

And I go, what are we gonna do with this case, man? You know, I'm a good guy And he's like, you started going listen, man First off, I shouldn't be talking to you and I'm like, listen forget all that Talk to me I'm a human being talk to me. I fucked up But what I what you're saying I did and what I did is two different stories Guess who was fucking up at that time. It was mainly I didn't see it from his point of view and his point of view was correctly

I didn't see it as that extreme It was extreme and by him sending me to prison. He was sending saving my life He wanted me to know that what I did at that time Me pulling the gun on you was what we did That's what I was aspiring to do. So I thought it was fine You were you were aspiring I was spying to pull guns on people. So I understood But the moral of the story is that I didn't really ever have a beef I got arrested in New York a couple times. I got arrested in Jersey a couple times

I got arrested in Colorado a couple times I got arrested in Miami once a couple times I got arrested in Seattle a couple times and there was really never an altercation with police officer In fact, it was always it always ended with thank you and I'm sorry for you having to do this and no No, it's my job and that type of shit. I watched the John Jones thing the other day And I could hear the disdain and his voice of the cop I mean, they don't like him. You follow me. They don't like him from the other thing already They know his vehicles

Right But what he doesn't understand is what John was saying the other day. Mr. John McCarty was saying that You don't have to drag race to actually drag race. It's revving your engine That's drag racing. That's the law. So With all this aside Uh, I've had a lot of people contact me and ask me a Top subject that that has always

intrigued me Since I was a young fucking guy. I was around it What's that? And I watched how it worked Okay It's a thing called probation Lee And probation could be a real good thing or it could be a really fucking bad I'm gonna tell you why it's a really bad thing

Because you got to walk on eggshells And he's not gonna walk on eggshells. No the reason why they give you probation Is because of the percentage factor They already know The percentage Of you getting arrested They already know That's why they agreed to it first off as a human being to a human being here. I'm a fan of john jones

I love john jones. He's great. I knew john as a human being before he became a champion I used to talk to him at the fights and giggle with him because triple He's from the same hometown and I used to drop 607 or whatever 706 and giggle with him And I gotta tell you he's a sweet out of a fucking guy I did not know as an as a fan or whatever that he did blow. I did not know about this I had heard rumblings and then that thing went down Real quick after I heard the rumblings the car crash the car crash went down And then I heard more rumblings

And I just saw his behavior in different situations And I'm talking to you people as a coke addict You follow me? I'm not talking to you as some fucking guy that owns a rehab here. That's trying to sell you on psychology I'm talking to you on the fucking the reels of this situation here When he ran away his all that stuff, you know You didn't go to rehab. He didn't stay the 30 days all those little things are warning signs And it affects the da the da knows your frame of thought by you doing that The da is saying this guy's not claiming responsibility

And I told you guys on this show before on rogan's when you don't claim responsibility at that point You're never going to claim it It's going to come back to bite you in the ass if you don't check on your skeletons from time to time They're gonna check up on you And they checked up on me for 20. Fuck immediately. That's why I'm talking to you about experience in this shit Right. So when somebody gives you probation, I tell you you get a year probation A moron could do year probation Right, but

It takes A slick motherfucker You got it. Okay, because some probations they're not gonna test you for thc We don't want your blood league. We don't want nothing. We don't want your piss. We don't want nothing We're not even gonna come to your house. What we want you to do is come into the office Bring us your pay stubs Part of the condition is you do 16 hours of community service in that year Because unless you do the community service, you're not gonna end with probation. They're gonna bring you back to court and violate you

So do that fucking community service you go on the guide you get that over with Because the quicker you get that over with the quicker you complete your case If i'm a good attorney, I might be able to get you off on six month probation on the third sentence But you can't do ugots Nothing you can't get a fucking parking violation So the first thing I got to tell john jones is why is he out late at night? Right with a fucking 200 000 car. I'm not sure if that's a price tag on the car do not quote me I don't know nothing about fucking cars

but I think it's another example of Saving time because he's on probation. He's about to have a fight It was he said he he said he said no no no no no no no stop right there. Okay. He's on probation But the big thing is all eyes around him Yeah, that forget the fight before even he has a fight coming up though before the probation before anything All eyes are upon him All eyes are upon him. Yeah, he's a big investment for the ufc

And he's fighting all eyes are behind him He should be people like so he should have a driver and what driver are you talking about? Your own probation The only time you're out of your house When you're on probation, it's called sunlight to sundown That's the only way you're ever gonna make an on probation That's 50 percent of it right there I know a lot of you people looking at me going Joey won't agree with you. We'll take a chance columbus did bitch

You will end up in jail because i'm cutting your evil percentages out completely Nobody who listens to this podcast if you ever get in trouble god forbid you're gonna get in trouble in the daytime Unless you get a parking ticket or you get pulled over for a ticket When you go pick up weed it's a night when you go pick up blow it's at night when you get into a fist fight It's at night at a bar So you understand me the only way probation works is for you to look at the mirror and go I'm never going out at night again

Not to a movie Maybe to a dinner with my wife And that's it and i'm gonna and i'm gonna pick my route when i drive Especially when all eyes are upon me And he's because he most people are listening to this going Joey. What the fuck are you saying? Lee when i tell you I did it I did it. I took out my nightlife completely

Took it out at one point. I knew the only way I could beat my nightlife ended It ended Probably when I got to colorado when I still thought I was Johnny machine guns And I would go out at night from time to time the clubs and For I mean from time to time but I cut everything like I used to even get my coke in the daytime and hide it for the nighttime Do you understand me like this is what I'm talking about? This is the discipline that takes evaprobation. Huh? That takes evaprobation

The only reason why I fucked up on probation Was because of my high urine test. Yeah, I used to give a hot urine test But afterward after I got out of the halfway house. I was on probation. They put me on a long fucking probation probation And after I did a year I took it back to a judge and they signed me off Oh, cool. And that year to me was not rough by no means I knew what my percentage is I still did coke

I still smoked dope But I went and gathered at lunchtime Okay You got to do different things at different times. I never ever Ever went out that year Ever I went from my job straight to my fucking house Straight to my fucking house

I worked at boulder Toyota at the time I didn't make much money. I made maybe 28 to 3200 miles a month And it was it was a store people came in they had good credit You have to do credit checks on them They they fucking lived in boulder all their lives You knew where you stood you sold 10 to 12 cars a month Nobody broke your balls. They didn't give you a demo. They didn't drug test you You could smoke dope in the back. Everybody smoked dope there

I had a nice job there, but I swear to my fucking daughter. I went from the job straight to the fucking house Because your percentages of going to buy coke will go higher I knew this This is why they still haven't been fucking jailed right now They haven't really why they haven't been jailed till tomorrow morning And that's when the shit hit the fan That's when they decide because listen to me. They gave him a big break up front

Do you understand me when they give you a big break up front They're just waiting now Everybody looked at that fucking video You don't think that they listen he's gonna be able to pay off the judge like hey, man This is the second fucking violate. This is the first violation They gave him a big breather now a lot of people at home going well joey He wasn't drag racing. Maybe he caught listen a lot of you get tickets A lot of you people don't act like that way. No, no nobody who listens to this podcast

has called the cop a fucking liar in a pig And the guy didn't fucking smack him which you know because he's john jones I would have caught if i'm a cop I cut the guy didn't call eight other cops the guy knew he was on camera Oh, I would be that's why I came out the body camera came out. Yeah, no no shit everybody know they're on a fucking camera But he could also fucking call for eight other cars to come And they could have pulled john jones out of the car And asked him if he was drinking or if he had something in the car They took a big chance that night

That was a big fucking shot that night. That was very big that night. But if you look at it from that angle I never thought about it that way. But yeah, I can see what you're saying It's listen. I'm telling you that the bad things happen at night Chris rock said nobody goes to an atm machine at two in the morning to do something good Right. Nobody goes at two in the morning. That's the truth Same rule applies When I was a kid I used to go to miami And my uncle on miami was on probation and I remember him telling me it's son to son

And I go, what does that mean? He goes after once the sun drops I don't leave the house. I go do that. I'll let you leave the house. He goes. They let me do what I want I don't leave the house because what's the why Waste for one party for one Bad dinner why waste another six years in jail or whatever? That's not gonna happen to you Bad things happen when you're in a bar if I put you on probation Lee, you know what's gonna happen one night

Let me tell you what's gonna happen one night. You're gonna go out with joe deez In the old days, you're gonna hook up with joe deez. He's gonna invite you over to some fucking irish bar on fucking magnolia You're gonna sit there with joe deez. Here you are on probation joe deez three other jerks off Some fucking slutty girl. You're at some bar drinking You know, or why am I here next thing, you know a fight breaks out the cops come in. I give you the coke to hold As you're walking out the door, they pull you over search you and here you do galley gram in your pocket That ain't even yours. You're just doing a felony favor That's how quick this shit happens on probation

or There is a fight You come to my help you pulled me off the guy The guy pushes me I bump into you you push the guy as you're walking away the cops come in That's a violation What's a violation you pulling me off that fight Because right now the cops are walking in they go. So who are you? My name is lisa yet And what happened here and the guy's gonna go he pushed me. I didn't push you

Fucking you ate my friend and I pushed you to get you off him. You just admit it yourself. What happened in front of the cop So the cop has to write this in this fucking report. Now, let's say the cop is a great guy And he knows everybody get the fuck out of here. He still has to submit that report. There's five cops there Somebody's gonna notice you're on probation And they're gonna call you and they're gonna go can you come into my office? They're gonna read reports. Yeah You have to assume you have to assume in today's age with the computers and shit Once they process that stuff I did I said no one read those things. You never fucking know

It happened to me. I got arrested and got a p.v. The reason why I have a fucking warrant in Seattle Is because I got involved at the fucking fight at the club And you're on probation and I was on probation And the cops came and didn't give me a summons But they wrote up the report. So three days later, Seattle violated me for the fucking police coming at the fucking Comedy club. Oh my god, that's fucking that's crazy. It's like a red light camera So they came they arrested me and threw me in jail. No bail until I went in front of a judge The judge let me out blah blah blah blah blah blah

Here we are 20 fucking years later So those probation violations aren't no fucking joke. He's in jail till tomorrow fucking morning No money could get you out No attorney could get you out. It's like getting busted in new york with a gun. You don't make bail It's 18 months. It's that fucking whatever law the brainy law whatever the fucking is And he hasn't even or look because it He's you were saying all eyes are on him eyes on him because he's him, but he's he's a star athlete

So he already he is already basically on probation and then now he's on Extra legal probation now. He's racing and he shouldn't he shouldn't let let's say he wasn't racing But he said the fans were being mean to him or something So even if they were just roll up your windows and like, oh I didn't know nothing about fans being let me look to let me look at it by all I seen was fucking him in the car Talking like that to the cop and reading today. He got arrested. That's all I know

All I know is is he got fucking pulled overly. Okay. Well the fans were mean to him Or whatever. It's my point. What the fuck are you doing now? What time was it when he was out? I see what time it was tell me what time it was Does anybody know That's the most important thing let's pretend he was out at 9 30 he went to get fucking milk for his kids Even then that's what I'm trying to tell you. You got to make your moves in the fucking daytime Because everything bad happens at night Let's pretend it was 9 28 at night on a fucking Friday night

Okay That's how fucking crucial I'm telling 10 a.m. He turned himself in at 10 a.m. No, I know what time he turned himself in What time did the incident happen on fucking friday night or saturday night? I didn't tell you You say I deal with people let me give some shout outs real quick here and get this fucking party rolling here I'll look it up for after this. Yeah, that's quad charlotte. You know jimmy pits. I love you ukie spooky luis zoomud freddy career up there holding it down the comedy

Bad motherfucker over there in las vegas josh pitway diana matel and my man pat shea I wish you a lot of love bobblingus's dad is at home recovering And uh, my brother from another mother larry fucking boom boom The security agent my family happy birthday is his birthday in two days He's talking there on twitter Yeah, what time did the incident occur? That's

What's the most important thing to me? Yeah, I'm terrified, you know, and he's out there with this fucking a million dollar car already people are fucking hating on you You know, you just hit somebody in a fucking car You're in like a Volvo or something like a family car that nobody's even looking at you, you know These are the little things that you got to clean up When you're trying to put your life together because people look at those fucking things It's like the seven five When they told them don't bring the fucking Corvette to the station right and you brought the Corvette to the station

You're just going to irritate the fuck out of people Okay, here it is probably What the fuck You don't know what the fuck it is. Anyway, no man. I don't know. I can't find no nobody's gonna find that's the that's the thing With probation that I never liked They're gonna give you a probation might as well do the 90 days Say fuck give me the 90 fucking days And then you could be off of a two years for 90 days and you're out of the situation

Did you ever do that a few times? I tried And why didn't you I tried to fucking go to work release when I got sentenced that time They told me that that monday before the friday they go well, we could hope for is two things 120 days of community corrections and then probation or 90 days work release And I'm like, I'll do fucking work release And they were like, it's not up to you. It's up to the fucking judge The judge like was when we said work release he just just he he threw cold water on it. He didn't even react to it

He was like, you know, don't know 90 days So which one did he get the I got the six years in prison Four to six. Oh, it was at that point in the yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You could have just got 90 days. I was hoping see I was hoping that was the the best result possible in my world that I was going to get uh 120 days work release I was already enrolled at the university of colorado. I was in the c o p program

They're like, come on. You couldn't have to do they're like give the kid a break. He enrolled. He's in He's already in the fucking thing. He's part of something They gave him a second chance. You might as well game a second chance. So we kept up playing that angle So we were like this hope we're gonna go in there and flip them. We're gonna go in there and flip them right in the courtroom We're gonna flip him. He's gonna go fucking 120 days work release six years probation Then we're gonna do a year probation straight up and then we're gonna go back to court and cut the probation That was the initial plan

And The judge just didn't want you to do that. No Community corrections turned me down Community corrections has two different levels. They have the halfway house and they control the county jail And they vote so both of them voted and said fuck. No, we don't want that motherfucker. There's a person there voting on your future Like a board. There's a board a board of three So both of them voted me out So now we were gonna try to get the judge to override everybody

And say you gotta take this motherfucker in there. That was our only hope and prayer on monday morning And what happened they sent me to jail instead. There was no fucking even home. He didn't even consider it was like Fuck you no way No way Which when I looked at his face, I knew the fucking alternative When I just said that to you right now, I could just see his little fucking squirrely face He was a good dude though. He was small and he had a beard. He just looked like he was just one big fucking bush Or you could see where his eyes and his mouth. He just had a beard in his face and he was small

When he looked at that paperwork and he kept looking at me and looking at that paperwork and looking at me and I fucking knew it Looking back on it Did you ever really have a chance at any of those other options or no, you were going to jail I was going to jail in my mind In my delusional cocaine mind. I was gonna beat the case all together If you had gone to them and just said hey Get the deal that you actually ended up with and didn't do all that other legal stuff

If for now your legal fees would have been like Right now if I were to know what I know now then this is exactly what I would have done Okay, tell you right now. I would have gotten on bail number one Number two, I would have committed myself to a 90 day rehab And came out and played the fucking the role of the fucking rehab guy And I found probation investigation I would have said that it was my fucking fault. I would have copped to the whole thing I would have copped to the whole thing in my probation investigation

What and just and just say after the no guilty plea you plan the whole thing No, but I knew exactly what I was doing that the cocaine led me there I would have blamed it along the fucking coke. That would have been the weasel joe deez at that time I would have said I would have done 90 days in the rehab came out gone to AA for a month Fucked them off just got fake signatures that all this shit. I used to stupid shit. I used to do then and then I would never fucking learn my lesson Instead of doing what I did

I went to a rehab and got off easy because I wouldn't have really adjusted to the rehab I would have bullshitted them too eventually I would have just learned how to get off the blow like I did when I went to prison When I got locked up, I didn't do blowing there I adjusted my life not to have it. I got it out of my mind. I knew it wasn't gonna happen And that was it. It didn't really stop the addiction. It just made the addiction grow just because you're not doing the drug Your addiction's still grown. We discussed this Really? So is so you the whole time even though you weren't doing it in person you wanted it

Wanted what coke? No, I didn't say that I didn't say that I said that I knew in my mind. I wasn't gonna get it But just because you're not drinking doesn't mean your addiction still exists. Your addiction's still there. Oh, okay So the addiction's there, but right the desire. Okay. Let's say I'm doing fucking two-way balls at night, right? And tonight I quit doing fucking eight balls Okay, right and I stay off of fucking 22 fucking years and one day I start snorting again. Guess what's gonna happen Lee? Within a week, I'm gonna be doing an eighth. I'm gonna be doing a quarter A quarter is two eight balls because

My addiction's still growing I'll die of a fucking heart attack. God forbid I would never do it. I'm just telling you that That's an addiction's constantly growing even if you're not doing the drugs I I Rest in peace or but isn't that what happened in Phillips-Jewel Hoffman, right? He went back and There's rooms where the people came back from the dead and fucking Came back from the fucking not doing drugs You know, I just respect my life without the drugs

I really do It's a fucking great experience. I like smoking the weed to calm me down a little bit because sometimes I do get hyper in the mornings And I start sweating profusely and my mind starts racing So I think it helps me You know, I think in the real world if I were to go on the scene a psychiatrist I would have been on one of those pills right now and I'd rather not be on one of those pills That's why I'd rather do three little bunk hits at you in the morning in the morning join get the party started But that's how you fucking survive a probation

That's the only way especially when you have a fucking family you have to start thinking about them again Not that I thought about my family when I was out there doing coke and I was 25 or 26 years old I was in the same boat as John Jones I was in the same boat as John Jones only without the millions of dollars There was no millions of dollars involved. But do you want me to tell you something? Even if there was at that time it wouldn't have changed who I was It would have just fueled my fire And I feel that because he didn't go to that rehab

That's always gonna come back to bite him in the ass So do you think he shouldn't cancel the fight and go rehab? I didn't say that I didn't say that. No, that's not gonna fucking happen What I'm saying is that Sometimes when you don't take care of a situation It comes back to bite you in the ass later And take it from somebody who lived a lie for 27 fucking years I lived a big lie for 20 fucking years

Do I wish I would have went to a rehab? Do I think a rehab would have helped me between you and I? Not really I think you're not ready to stop doing drugs till you stop doing drugs. I'm not I'm saying and I'm not saying that Uh He's doing drugs at all. They would they go they would have ripped him out of the car like that I'm not saying he's doing drugs at all But I'm saying that you know sometimes you should take care of those things I ended up going to a rehab, but it was a pussy rehab. It wasn't no fucking real rehab

I wouldn't allow a real rehab. I didn't want to get unbound. Why is it a pussy rehab? There's some three to six every night four days a week How much how much how much can you change somebody? From three to six Four days a week for fucking four weeks. Was it a world-class instructor? It was a different instructors. No, they did was agitate the fuck out of me for nowhere To stand me they would what do they do they drip ranch on your forehead or something There was there was two women in particular. There's this one fucking older woman

That had to be about 50 And she was a sweet lady, but you know, she was still a psychiatrist and She'd ask you fucking creepy fucking questions and I asked you why and maybe this and doesn't And I gotta tell you something I go in there and every time I left there left there fucking angry It was fucked up for me. I was snorting while it was in there too I was selling coke from that rehab. I wasn't doing it. I was still weighing in their bathroom and selling it You didn't do it ever. No, I wasn't doing it that time. I was touching up with a piece of paper and everything

So why do you keep going back? Because I had to the court sent me there. No, why do you keep going back if you could stop doing coke? You made the decision to do it then. Oh, yeah, I was doing it all at this time The only reason why I stopped was because I had an eye watching me Okay, okay. I was fucking in the halfway house And even while I was in the halfway house, I was still fucking dealing blow and snort and blow when they caught me They wanted to put me back in jail. That's a probation violation That's a violation of your court's sense

When you get sent to a halfway house, you have to piss in a fucking bottle So you come back hot. They have to make a decision Sometimes they take away your freedom for 60 days and put you back in the halfway house And they take away your rights for 60 days So all you're allowed to do is leave the house to fucking work And sometimes they just throw you in work release for fucking 90 days Or sometimes they wrap your shit up and throw you back in county For fucking six months and then you have to go back in front of a fucking judge

After that and he decides again what to do with you And then they give you a new probation sentence because of the time you did Because whatever you did the time takes different days off See prison time is like Two days for one day or three days for every one day So if I that's why when they give you six years you do 42 months Because the sentence gets shortened, but when you do county jail time, it's like fucking golden It's like four days for one day

So that's why when I give you a year in county, it's like four years. It's like seven months Do you follow me? Oh, so if you only get a year in county, yeah You get a year and like every institution is different. So if you get a year in county You get like four days for every one. So like if you get a year in prison, you get three days for everyone So if you go to jail if you go to jail in state prison and you get a year you do nine months If you get that same year in state prison, you do seven months. Do you understand? I understand you but you're talking about seven months in county jail. I get to look nothing

Like what do you do with all your shit when you're about to go away for seven months? Do you pay seven months with a rent? No, you take your shit you give it to paula And you say put this in your house. I'll see you in seven months Come see me on sundays. Don't put panties on That's what you tell it That's what you tell it or you pay rent and she stays there It takes k animals and shit But usually when you put yourself in that situation

You know, I mean there's not much but and then and let me even have to be careful in person because Haven't there been people who have been like maybe in prison on a probation violation And cotton shouldn't there and then I've spent like years in there because of shit they did in there Well, listen, man. I don't know anything about that. I wish him a lot of luck I really do. I wish I love him to death. I wish john jones. Love. I wish that uh, he uh Gets his handle. He goes in front of a judge tomorrow. So hopefully By tomorrow afternoon, we'll know his fate. What do you have see decides?

Because this judge might fucking add months to his probation Or make him do 90 days And the judge doesn't give a fuck about the ufc's event Listen, like I said, they gave him a big chance. I can't give you two chances And a dames county jail. Don't fucking cut it in my world And a lot of people at home going by joey the cop was Every cop in that town he did a hit and run He did a hit and run. They all know his vehicle the cop said he knew his vehicle. Did he not?

I I didn't hear that part. Maybe cop knew his vehicle. They all know his car now But they see him at two in the morning. I'm gonna pull him over just for pulling him over I seen you swear, but no you didn't you know whatever And and that's why what I was thinking. It's just bulls. I am in you. Why didn't they just leave? Oh, john jones goes somewhere else because he trains and winkle john and santa fact So

I'm sorry, but if he's gonna be in prison every other week for a fake probation violation You can't run Because eventually the problem will catch up with you there He needs to live like I told you he needs to live his life He needs to train the daytime and at night you're in with your family and the story Even if he lives that way if he's getting fucked it was every time he leaves his house And the daytime and at night is completely differently He's not gonna get fucked if you leave your house you drive the speed limit

You stop at stop signs not even how you stop You see how you stop at stop signs? If you're a celebrity and you got a bullseye, I will pull you over and give you a ticket You do a Puerto Rican stop you stop and keep rolling back back. You gotta stop No, no, no, no, no, no. That's what people do not realize Why do you think whenever I drive with you I make you stop exactly the same way at every stop sign? Because I never want you getting pulled over And they'll pull you over for that at 10 15 at night in the weird neighborhood

Yeah, I got pulled over Why are you in this neighborhood? I didn't know I was driving home if you've been drinking now you got beef Right, do you understand me? So anything that happens at night and happens the daytime is two different fucking worlds Okay, in the daytime guess what I could do in the daytime, like what I could say Lee What are you doing right now come pick me up? I have to go to fucking Stop Okay together cheeseburger

Let's go there at lunchtime. Guess what else I do. What do you do? I call my coke deal And I don't do me a favor. I'll give you 50 bucks extra meet me at stop Don't let nobody see you when I get up to go to the bathroom go to the bathroom And I'll give you the cash That's how quick it happens at lunchtime. I come back. I sit with you. You didn't even fucking see the move You didn't even see the move. Why didn't you just go pick it up? Because I'm trying to tell you how do you avoid heat? I eat my fucking cheeseburger I get back in the car with you and I go straight fucking home and I ditch that fucking cocaine

You know why I have you there? Why because you don't do coke I don't even want to hang out with nobody who does coke That's how fucking probation works. Okay Do I drink booze? Okay, then now I'm gonna call a friend of mine who drinks booze But doesn't drink booze in the daytime and I'm gonna say when you go to liquor store Get me two bottles of fucking booze not pay for your booze I eliminated that Winkle John. Yeah, you go to the fucking gym and you drive home

You go train at fucking 7 a.m You stay there till 12. You eat lunch over there. Yeah, bring lunch hang out and you fucking go home at 3 30 And that's your day. That's it. That's the way it has to be. That's the only way it's gonna work Without attracting attention It's crazy anything at night you're going to attract attention and guess what? Guess what it's called when you have to kiss a debt on you You have to kiss a debt on you He goes to a bar one night with the guys from Winkle John like we the

Andrea Lovsky Holy home they go to celebrate somebody's birthday Some guy has three drinks And calls John Jones a drunk or something like that There's a pushing argument the cops get alerted guess who's going to jail John Jones happens nine out of 10 times You have to avoid everything. Yeah, just don't be out there. You have to live your life Because it the numbers are high for regular people

The percentages are high for guys like you and I if we're involved in that lifestyle Can you imagine for somebody who's got a target on his back? It just makes sense When I got in trouble for the kidnapping and boulder and I lived in boulder afterward Everybody knew what I had done It's not breaking a window guy It's not fucking uh It was kidnapping

Kidnapping as a class one found me. Yeah people know what you look like and they know what you did Yeah, for some people they're too stupid down now But all you need to do is get pulled over and they know everything about you with them fucking two minutes Two minutes And now you look that completely different When I come back to your car knowing that you're a convicted felon Now I have my gang. I have my hand on my gun You understand me that those words

So I knew one thing to do all my business in the daytime So if you get pulled over now what you say, I'm a convicted felon not in two million thousand years There's nothing on that. No, it's been over fucking 20 years. Oh, okay But right now you pull me over you're gonna gotta go. What were you doing in this neighborhood? I went to do comedy. Have you been drinking not at all? There's no fucking snuggle pot in my fucking car I don't smoke pot in my car never no me either. So what's the what are you pulling me over for? I do the speed limit only on the highways. I do a little heavy foot But besides that you're not gonna you know I'm saying

That's what all comes down to that's what the moral is fucking story is if you're on fucking probation You have a bull's eye on you you have to live a fucking certain way That's it playing the fucking simple Do you think that you've seen should be letting him fight like do you think I don't know? I don't know. That's not those are not my I don't even care about that Okay, so it's not about what this show is about what we're talking about tonight. Okay Has nothing to do with the u of c man. This is what the fucking problem is with society I don't know what the u of c. It's got to do with john jones

And what he's going about about to look at right now You don't know what this judge gives him a second chance What if he gets in trouble again in six months? So whatever's going on he's got to take care of this I really want to find out what time this video was shot at if anybody knows let me see if I can find out I guarantee it's a time you shouldn't be the fuck out of your house especially if you're the world champion Or trying to fucking beat the world champion in two months. That's why it was very weird

If you look at that interview between him and joe rogan What does daniel call me a sad one? Just make sure you're there And he goes you wish That you you would be happy if that wouldn't happen Because the percentages are always fucking high man Yeah It don't matter man. No, it don't fucking matter. Anyway this weekend. I'm at the fucking brayer improv

Thursday friday saturday starting tomorrow night. It's fucking force one star night If you're in the neighborhood in april, I got two good fucking cities. I'm going to one of my favorites Buffy. Oh shit. Oh shit. How many wings are you gonna get? Just six I got a couple fucking beef on wicks And also I'm going to another one of my favorite cities indianapolis crackers And that's it motherfuckers. It was a great week. I don't know what the fuck we talked about tonight. We got nice and high Uh And that's it. That's all I want to fucking tell you guys, you know me. I keep it simple dog

Why fucking make up shit that don't exist? March was a great month. We had a great time together. You know why fuck around Like I said, man, I get these people who call me. They send me stupid shit Sometimes I look at them. Sometimes I don't Like I said, sometimes my attorney, he likes them Sometimes we discuss it They ran this by me and like I say, I always tell them, you know what? Let me do it once or twice See how they react to it. If they like it, they'll let me know if they don't like it

We go to fucking hell. We don't do them no more. I'm easy guys. I don't give a fuck about this This is just to keep the lights on to keep the fucking Lee and fucking uh chinese food. He's going to kettlebell class Look at him. He's getting new clothes. He's he's thinking about moving a white friend Then he wants to make a pay half the rent. Yeah, of course I'm gonna tell you no lawyer. She's gonna make more than I am Shit, she's gonna be fucking paying those loans back and she's gotta send money to mexico The cousin's got the chicken farm and shit and there you are sitting on the car

You have the whole family living with you. You got people playing the drums in your house. You need this shit Anyway, people playing drums, you know what man? Let me tell you something. I I'm cuban but I always like the fucking thing of being an american. I don't know. I really fucking duck it not not playing around I'm not gonna play a national anthem. You know what man? I'll tell you what I still like I tell you what I strive for I wish I could look you in the face Lee as my friend

And my call work and my goomba and like I said, you just look guess what I did Lee What did you I went and bought two tickets for us To go to the Lakers. Oh, and you're gonna go really? Yeah, let's go down there on the way down there. You're gonna sit there And you're gonna go I wonder would Joey pay for these And you know, we're not up in the fucking nosebleeds. We're in the middle. So that's 400 bucks And at one point in the night I mean, you had a Laker game. No, no, it's not the Celtics You know, we live here. We should support the Lakers

But at the end of the night, you gotta go, you know what Joey you paid for for those I read you would give me a fucking steak dinner for 250 and you know what I'm saying? Give me cash You know what I'm saying? I'm sitting here like a mokkly jack Sitting here fucking eating or whatever You said that to people. No, I didn't say that to people but Lee This is how you It's expensive to go in a way. It's expensive to go to games One thing that's destroyed my insights lately that I don't really fucking talk about

Is you know, what they've done to America? We can't go to a fucking basketball game If you got two kids and a daughter and a son And you want to do a family not at a fucking baseball game There's some stadiums that have dollar tickets But then your family has to sit next to people at a fucking animals and they drink and they burp and they fart And I don't remember who do have the all-estate. It's like $20. Like generally like it's a minimum of 20 or 40 You know, you know people it's just a fucking nightmare. You gotta pay 50 bucks to park. Anyway, when I got This I wanted to run it by you and just see what you think

What's the next big event you want to go to? You know what? What is it? You know, David Gilmore's coming to your town. Maybe black Sabbath the final tour Maybe you want to go see a playoff game Whatever it is, you can bet that someone's going to pay less for better seats. How they use a new company called score big Dot com they use a company use score big dot com You're paying too much for tickets. We all know that between the markups and the last minute convenience package Even printed home fees. You end up paying court side prices for nosebleed tickets This is why I don't go to these events

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You're paying a bunch of money. You're sitting shitty seats It's all the time and it sucks ass and then you tell your friends. It was a good show But you don't fit in the seed. There's some fucking animal next to you Someone left the lights on the last time and then exactly what they're talking about You will be looking at something. Oh, I have a budget for what I want to spend And then you and then as soon as you click on it's like, oh, there's $47 in fees So they're like, no, they're not gonna do that. So what we're gonna do is there's no surprise fees and free shipping Just unbeatable prices on great seats and more when you're in great seats. You're actually enjoying

I'm telling you man. It tastes better anything tastes better than a moldoon. Anyway Next time you go see any game or show Go to score big first and see how much you can save Go to score big dot com right now Click on the microphone enter the promo code joey joey And you'll save an extra 20 dollars off your first ticket purchase again Stop paying too much for tickets, man. Go to score big dot com right now promo code joey again Score big dot com promo code joey and also my main man on it dot com. Listen

That protein pilot was delicious. I got the shroom tech. I took some today. I did a lot better in class My yeast still wet. I'm a firm believer in honor. I could sit here and blow smoke up your ass Listen, I know about this. I know about that. I know. I don't know dick I don't know dick. All I know is whenever I take on a product. I feel fucking great Whether it's the alpha. I'm back on the alpha brain again. I'm a little sharper I mumbled because that's the weed. You know what I'm saying? What are you gonna do? I've been smoking since 6 a.m What have you done today? Anyway Uncle joey's here ready a fucking rock. All right, like I told you I'm in brayer all weekend, but oh before we end

Let's go back to honor here. I want a little all fucking thought here Go to honor dot com right now and press in church and get to 10 off Of any product not weights or anything just supplements and they deliver it right to your door No drama. No money or fun. You like what you read you get to stay on a program most importantly people still alpha brain You give it a shot. You don't like it. You send it back yet. I'm 100 money back guarantee What are these noises you're making today? You have to mic up too high. I'm making noise. Yeah, you keep sitting We can hear it. Stop it. I'm sorry. I have no idea Anyway, I want to thank my main man lisa. Yeah, I want to thank you motherfuckers for listening

We had a great march. Thank you for making march, uh Just phenomenal and wait with to see what we have for you in april. I love you motherfuckers Have a great weekend and uh, happy fucking uh, april fool's day. God suckers This show is brought to you by a score big next time Before you go before you go go to score big first and see how much you can save go to score big dot com right now Click on the microphone and enter promo code joey to get an extra 20 dollars off your first ticket purchase And go to honor.com and use promo code church to get 10% off all of the great optimization products

Well, and you want to just close with this song? Yeah Oh Check it out to the ground Oh Oh Okay Take it Oh

Oh Check it out to the ground Check it out Oh Yeah Oh Oh Oh