Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #385 - Brad Williams

Episode Date: June 2, 2016

Brad Williams, Comedian and co-host of the "About Last Night Podcast," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Headspace: Go to headspace.com/joey and download the Free Headspace App and start your Take10 10 day free trial.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 06/01/2016.
  

This show is brought to you by headspace Download the free headspace app and begin their take 10 program for 10 days of guided meditation at headspace comm slash joey The headspace take 10 program is a hundred percent free way to experience the benefits of meditation in your busy and modern life So go to headspace comm slash joey to download the free headspace app That's headspace comm slash joey to download the free headspace app and go to on it calm and use code word church To save 10% on all of the great Optimization products like Alphabrain new mood shumtech immune and shumtech sport Oh shit

It's that time motherfuckers Wednesday, June 1st a little rods do it Old-school fucking rod Before the fucking sperm shake anything about that. Oh shit There was no woman alive. He hadn't fucked no at this point. I got one not a woman alive when you see this video You're like, what the fuck yeah Church of what's happening now Brad Williams

Lisa at my man Lawrence and Vegas talking layer you bad motherfucker Oh shit All around your face Love it. What the fuck that is a hard it and fucking yeah, it's a good baseline to Yeah, I think karma had a piece playing the drums I mean he was fucking doing it Brad Williams in the house today. God, you know what? Thanks for playing that song because like I'm 32 so like the only stuff that I know from Rod Stewart is like him on the musketeers soundtrack like Like that kind of shit like or like passion

You want me to tell you something bro? I like passion you like passion well, they all had to compete There was one point where even the stones did uh-huh the one album my black and blue I think it came on 75 or 76, but they put hot stuff on it. Yeah, you know kiss did Everybody had to come they all did it Everybody held the disco album the studios probably told you listen sure on this album We'll let you fucking put a blowing arrow in your head and do heroin But right you got to give us a little dance track to get the party started. You know where that passion is really good And what's that? No?

You know what song is is really good. What's that infatuation infatuation with fuck-o on the guitar And then fuck-o bales in the middle of the tour in 84 and I went to see him Rod Stewart with oh, yeah But that movie you know, which one I'm talking about infatuation No, go what you search for Rod's graduation Rod Stewart. Yeah the fucking guitar on this Would you search for infatuation Rod Stewart? Yeah, listen to it. It is Phenomenal like you forget cuz late late when you guys were kids. Yeah guys were babies. Yeah, so I didn't know about this kind of shit. I Forget who the fucking guitar plays on this another bass line

Oh shit Oh Jesus fucking Christ the guitars. Oh, no the guitars on I forget the fucking guy's name I'm time horns everything a bazooka a Jeep Just let any song you bring in horns So This is this is When the head Chinese guy is walking over the bridge to go see the fucking gangsters in

Year the dragon with Mickey Rourke. Oh, nice. This is the jam They put on as he's walking through the fucking fire escape and shit into the head into the hidden corridors of I love that. I love that movie. I I did it. Oh Oh, they don't play it. They play it once every 18 months because they hate Mickey Rourke It's like Pope or Greenwich Village, you see it once yeah every 18 months because they hate Mickey Rourke Why do they make you work? You know, I'm just making a joke. Okay. I don't know if it's even true We always hear about that like just like certain actors are just they just don't you know, they'll play in a wrestler, right?

And every once in a while night to you'll see nine and a half weeks on Showtime or Cinemax late late late late But besides that they don't play, you know once and I was just thinking about the Pope of Greenwich Village I was having a conversation with somebody and There's a part where Mickey Rourke gets fired and he comes out to see Eric rabbits and every rabbit goes I'm playing oh, he has he breaks his button Mm-hmm suit and he goes you fucking broke the button on my suit and Eric Robert goes Charlie What do you fancy suit for you got no job to wear it? Tell me why I don't have no job because you got me fired you fuck. That's a great line. I have a couple great

One of my all-time favorite lines that really makes sense Okay, is the first line of the movie and unless you've borrowed money you understand this Okay, what's the line? He walks in and the guy looks at Mickey Rourke and he goes the bathroom Whatever his name is. Let's just say he played was played by Carmine from the sopranos Okay, the old guy in the chicken salad. Yeah. Yeah, he was young and he's in the bathroom pissing Mickey Rourke walks in and the guy goes oh I come nobody keeps me waiting when they're looking to borrow Which is the truth when you tell somebody and he needs $800 and like okay, meet me at the bar at your clock

You know they were 10 to 3 right right right in your hand. Yeah, you know, but that's a great fucking line Yeah, we're waiting when they're looking to borrow. Yeah, and that's some to pay The train the bus Who are these people that make you feel guilty for asking for the money that you gave them? Like that's always fascinating to me when I'm like, hey, dude, you got that like like I lent you 500 bucks They're like, dude, really you got to come at me with that. I need my $500 and like Yes, cuz it's my money. It's not yours. That's why you have to just give it as a gift Yeah, and that that makes your life uneasy. I did that is the 500 when you get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

I did that. I it's funny to bring that up. I did that last week friend of mine Got in jail for DUI and need a thousand bail and I I and I did it and then he was trying to tell me like don't worry like as soon as I get enough I'm like did it did it did it did it? No It's let's let's call a spade a spade. You're not gonna pay me back. So don't don't worry about it

I'm never gonna ask for it. So never just fine What do you like getting that phone call cuz like I've never been on the other end of that I know Joey's been on the other end of that but getting a phone call saying you've been like your friends locked up What was that like? Well, it depends it depends on who the friend is for some for some friends you you jump out of bed You're like, all right, and there's never Hesitation and this is what that friend was like this like this like this is a friend that I would never Hesitate for anything like that for right so but like if it's a friend where it's you're kind of on the fence And you know they're only calling you because they know you have the money. Oh, yeah, enjoy jail. Yeah, and I've had those too

I did that to my cousin What did your cousin do? Oh, no, like what what? Yeah, you just don't like your cousin. No, I just can't talk about it Yeah, he called me up and it's like dude. I need and I'm like no you're gonna but I think you should hang out in jail for a while Do you know what is that like for you Joe? What was it like? Well for years, you know When you're running and gunning you always have to have one person that you go to for a quick loan Yeah, I got any two thousand because I'm gonna buy 800 quailudes at a dollar a piece

We'll make fucking this and you know you paying back the vague and then money and you make them money You know as long as everybody makes money. It's it's fine. You know like one of those deals But I've been on the other end when I've been in jail. Yeah, and I had a call people to listen I need two hundred dollars on my books, you know or five hundred dollars on my books And it's a tough call. Yeah, but Day your family, right, you know, and I've had plenty of people tell me no sure and I've still talked to them I got mad for two weeks and then I understood weeks later that they have a family and yeah Yeah, they have their own responsibilities and they have their own responsibilities. Yeah, you have to take it

You have to take the personal You can't take it personally. You can't they're not doing this to fuck me. They're doing this to save themselves Not they're not doing it to like to be because they don't like me or they'd like fuck my life They're just doing because they personally cannot do it at the at the time. They have other worse. They have other responsibilities So and you have to remember when when you're asking you're leaving the door open To say no like that is an option So when they take that option, you can't you can't get upset you can't really get mad and If you put yourself in that position that you're in jail that you're asking for money

Can you really get mad at someone for saying no for not bailing out if you're if you're the one that put yourself there? I don't know. I've never been to jail So I'm not sure now that like now when I've been mindset now when I've been to jail and there were low bails I called like Lee Lee come on now. Get me out. It's a $2,000 bill. That's low. Oh, okay 10% is $200. Yeah Do you follow me shit like that? Mm-hmm wasn't too bad When I got in trouble in Colorado, that was a tough call What was that bail 50,000 cash? So you needed the whole thing

Yeah, that's the thing and I I didn't know this I've never bailed anyone out like that So when I so they said oh the bails a thousand. I was like, okay, well here's my credit card And they're like no no no no no I had about cash or bond and yeah, you see all these reports on Bail bonds that once you get into that system They just keep fucking you over and raising rates and it's impossible to finally get it paid off So just if you can do it in full do it so do it so Did someone take someone take you 50,000? No, what happened was I had about 20 so I needed 30 But I also thought I needed 30 for the attorney. Oh, I see so I was I was light fucking

40 or something like that. I don't know what the fuck I was light So what I did was I sat in there and I showed up with people from the community Because that's how you lower your belt. You have to have connections to the community you have to have Ties ties to the community. Yeah, so my future father-in-law Came in and they put my bail from $50,000 cash bail the $25,000 cash bail Mm-hmm. I told him I could give him 20 if he put up to 25 Mm-hmm, and I would own five and he just said let me put the 25 up and just show up to the fucking court Wow That's a father-in-law. Oh, and he wasn't really my father one at the time. I was just dating his daughter. Oh my god

Wow fucking idea, but geez That's that that's an angel in your life, dude. You had no fucking idea got it then The first retainer. Yeah, it was 7500 and that fucking they called me four days later for another 10 Had he gone through the first 7500 or he's just like this is gonna take more. No, he went through Oh Four days. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's the amazing part about that is is I mean Rare cases you'll find a lawyer that's like, hey, I don't get paid unless it works out for you

But yeah, it's that's very rare. Well, no, you're not gonna get paid unless if you get hit by a fucking bicycle Yeah, you're not gonna get paid till you get the money and then I get paid right on the criminal case There's no fucking yeah, there's no I don't use right right You've got to show up with something and then as we work we got to come to an agreement You're gonna drop something off every Friday get that back or no from the attorney. No, no, I'm sorry the bail the bail Yeah, you get the two grand back. Okay, so you get the money back. Mm-hmm. You just but if I don't show to court Yeah, use your money. Yeah, and that's what I didn't want along the way like Once he put the money up for me, he was just letting me know that you're going to court for this

Yeah, I'll put the money up But you're gonna pay for this yeah But you better show up and I had different thoughts I had friends that you know I wanted to help me out for me to go like work for Hertz and like fucking Columbia some shit Yeah, but I didn't want to be on the run not for that. I didn't want to be a run for that now They some people know that how they react or how they would react in certain situations. I know that jail No Never for me like I I don't know who says it is for them

But there there are some people that can be engaged in a lifestyle that are going like yeah I'd be willing to go for X amount of reasons for me. No, I know that I'd be a puss. I'd be oh I'd be Just taken advantage of it and not even necessarily sexually just bossed around Yeah, like first off, there's so many different places When you get locked up on TV, they only show you the bad places, right? They don't want to show you the places that are cushy. Yeah, cuz they don't want America to think that you're cushy on Sure, sure, sure, you know that gets to a point in a system where You come into a niche and that place is is you know, you can walk around

Mm-hmm. You could go to the store, you know my situation We could you had 20 minutes a day to go to the store. Wow great grant me the store Let's pretend we're in this facility here. Yeah, the store was 50 yards away, right? You know, what can you do? Yeah, you know, all you could do was a store. There was a Chinese restaurant There was like a clothing place or something something else You go there and walk around the store or something I used to do was I used to order the Chinese food Mm-hmm, so it'd be ready for me when I got over there. There you go So I would sign up early. Let's say two o'clock. Yeah, and I tend to do I would call my order and I tell him this and I'm an

Invict so when I call you gotta have the food ready. Gotta have forks All the sauces yeah, don't we take I can't walk back at the prison and be missing my fucking food job pie cake Loaning money is a I had a call a couple of weeks ago Dear friend of mine, you know, you give me the world that we were switched and before he could ask I just said where can I send you 500 bucks? Yeah, and I got it off me. I didn't feel guilty You know, yeah, there's some people some people that you can give money to and just It's never even a hesitation where it's just like no, I actually feel good giving this money to you and allowing you

This this relief and then there's some people where you're just like, oh god Well, there's people who are just lazy. Yeah, there's people who come up to you and say well Have a friend that call me a few weeks ago. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke I'm broke. I got off the phone with him and I was just about to fucking send the money I don't know Because I know this guy. Yeah, it's a girlfriend. Yeah, and he's not upset cuz he's paying because he's not paying his bills He's upset cuz he paid his bills. He just has nothing left over to be a big shot. Right for the girl Fuck yeah, so you don't want to be fucking. Yeah, you don't want to you don't want to pay for his night

Dinner, right? So he could you know So we get him out of his dilemma. Yeah, so we can like look at the wine list and not flinch if Lee came to me And he said I was tapped I give him the 200 I know that he would take his girl from for $20 a dinner. Yeah, you follow me. Yeah Yeah, this guy just wants to be Johnny bananas. He can't take a $20 dinner instead of telling me He's a broke dick. He won't tell her. All right So he lives in this facade with her so every weekend Museums this this this this yeah all that shit, you know, New York City. That's a nickel. Yeah, that's 300

That's 400, you know those drinks he drinks. Mm-hmm not three dollars no more Mm-hmm those fucking cosmos and shit then nine. Yeah, the chick has three of those. That's 30 hours before you It's always funny to be at a bar or a restaurant and you kind of look around and you see the guys that are on dates And then and they're doing the math in their head like oh shit, okay And they're they're like going like all right the appetizers like nine bucks plus tax like and they're they're like going through it all Just going like oh man. I do I have enough? Like do I have enough to know that's not what real men are thinking. Yeah, real man. They think I'm driving up real man I'll like, you know what? Oh set me back tonight, but I'm taking a lot of hi

It's just more times I'm gonna come in a mouth. Yeah, you know, that's how it's a big thing view like well 21 we're like oh yeah, eat the fucking lobster bisque And they just look at you like they think like you're really in love you just know and you're seeing a vision I'm just whipping them and fucking drawing them out the window and You're like no you had the bisque that makes sense No, it all it all it all makes sense in your head at that time Do you remember early dating when you went out and you wanted something to eat but you didn't get it because you didn't want to go That's that

Excuse me, you didn't want to go over your budget. Oh, yeah, I still do that. What do you mean early dating? I'm just there. Oh, it's there. Oh, sometimes you go out and you're like, I hope she doesn't get this soup Well, you wait to see what she orders yeah And then I remember dating like a 23 and like wait to see what she would order Mm-hmm, like if she would get the lobster from the aisle, uh, I take the salad Yeah, I'm like fuck it cuz I can't afford that and then she's drinking. Yeah She's doing these cosmos like they're fucking Gatorade like she just ran a mile. What the fuck? You know at nine bucks a pop and you're sitting there going man, maybe I should just get the water

She's you should get a wine so we could celebrate Eight ninety nine for the water. Yeah, and then the part that gets me is I used to be a waiter So I like to tip at least 15 like 18 20 percent. Yeah, so and especially in places like that's like that's another 20 40 bucks right and It's funny that's that's why that's why they asked the woman what she wants first is So the guy has that time To be like, oh, okay. She yeah sure is your filet. All right. I'll have All the burger. Yeah, I'll have the burger this the slider appetizer. I'm not gonna eat nothing

Are you hungry? I hate early at my mom. Yeah, she's just keeping me. I'll eat the bread. I'm good What happens at like Hollywood meetings, I like it my favorite I had I went to a lunch with all the interns when I first moved out here Uh-huh and everyone ordered water and then the big boss ordered lemonade and the entire 20-person table went around the table And everyone ordered lemonade because they didn't they didn't want to like be expensive But then they wanted to like suck up, right? I'm sure that happens all the time. Oh, I mean they they had they had that commercial It was the Sam Adams commercial that then Dave Chappelle

parodied when The boss has taken everyone out and everyone's like I'll have a water level and then the one guy is like I'll have a Sam Adams and then the boss kind of looks at him like oh this guy's got something And then everyone goes yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, it's a big show like like what I was getting to just like how big It's a show when you go to like Hollywood meetings or it's like same thing. I'm dating I'm sure I don't really get to go to big Hollywood meetings, but you guys do No, it's all a show and but the thing is is I still try to be the guy I was at a meeting last week where I knew I wasn't paying for it

But I didn't get the like the most expensive thing on the menu Other people who do that as like a power move like they walk in and order like a lobster on a steak I think so or listen if you take me to fucking Dan Tannas. I'm not gonna order a hamburger Right or wrong if I call you up and I go hey, this is your agent. Yeah, I'm gonna take you to dinner I'm taking it a breath. Yeah, the fuck. I just said Dan Tannas. Yeah, me. I always get the chicken cutlet Parmesan There you go because that's me, you know, but if I was a savage you open up with the steak, right? Right Sam Adams. What what sides are we getting? What what thing can I take two bites of it?

You know if I call you up and say to you hey Brad, I want to take you to Ruth Chris Yeah, I know I'm going deep into the murky waters of sir Yeah, if I call you I'm taking you to what's the place on Sunset where they have the 299 breakfast herbs or Mel's yeah, you know You know, I know you're not gonna bust me So right right when they you know when I go out to eat with somebody they tell me get what you want. Mm-hmm I kept what I want because I really want yeah Yeah, I'm not gonna get lobster tail embarrassed myself

But maybe I'll get something I usually don't get right, you know, like this the spaghetti arrabbiata Yeah, something and I switch up a little bit The shrimp cocktail The horseradish man with the steam coming out of the shrimp Joey before we're going further I just want to tell you I love now Seeing you when you're at the store and now you're you're one of these guys now that when you're up on stage Then you just see the back wall Fill up

Like you just see all the comics like running into the back and they all like stay on the back wall and then and then they watch you You you've become one of those guys now and and I and I love seeing that I fucking love it when it's like a good dude. It's a funny guy and then like I I Fucking saw Rogan in there the other day. It just sit just sitting in the audience watching you throwing his head back and laughter Yeah So like like just throwing his head back and laughter and I and I even looked at Joe It's like Joe you tour with this guy you see him every you see him every week. He's like, I don't care man He's that good. He's that funny

So I love I love that you've become one of those guys now. It's so it's so sweet You know, it's funny because when I first got there like mm-hmm. I had a showcase one night in the main room Yeah, I forget the manager's name Like I came up to me goes, you know, I came to see you because a lot of comics mention your name, but I can't sign Because comics comics never make money And I'm like, what does that mean? I didn't even know what that meant There's a lot of comics want to see you because but he goes you guys got a bad habit because you play to the back of the room Mm-hmm. You stop playing to the front of the room. You play to the back of the room

You're right. It's not money. Yes, David. Tell is poor as shit There you go. That's what I thought. Yeah, he's a comic comic. Listen, man When I watch David, I tell people all the time. Mm-hmm. Listen, just because David tell isn't working his Twitter correctly Does not mean David tell is not a fucking killer up on stage. Oh, dude, and whenever David tells around. Yeah, watch As much as I can sure those guys I'm a student of the game, you know, when I played basketball I watch basketball. Yeah, you know, you get the people you like and you watch the little idiosyncrasies. I Like watching him man. I like there's a couple guys. I like watching I like watching you. I like watching this man You're very happy up on stage. I'm like, why is he so fucking happy? I have to be she's with something on earth

We're the sizes gorilla. Well, like and and I'll tell you I'll tell you why I'm happy on stage And it's and it's really like a calculated thing It's because I found out very early in my career that if I go on stage as an angry dwarf People feel sorry for me. They're like, oh god, his life sucks. Oh, no. Oh, that's not good So I need to go on stage and be happy. So the audience is like, oh, he's fine He's okay. And then and then they laugh along with me and nothing Exemplifies that more than when I get a heckler and then I suddenly turn mean I Turn mean to the heckler and now they're like, oh my god. He's he's capable of being mean

He's not happy nice brat anymore It's like yeah motherfuckers. He just because his dick just ruined my set like he's talking there in my set So yeah, I'm not gonna be nice to him. Thank you so much for letting me know your opinion of My joke dirt dirt during my set. Is it okay if I keep talking? Is it okay? If I continue is that okay by you like no, I'm not gonna do that shit I'm gonna call this person helping to show them the fuck down But then when people see an angry dwarf that they like get they like get concerned because they think like I'm sad There there's been times I've stopped to show me like you guys know I'm like doing well now, right?

Like I'm good. Like I'm you don't have to feel bad for me now It's weird when I have to stop that for an audience and remind them that they don't feel sorry for me What made you get up on stage the first time how like before we started the podcast? Yeah Last couple days, I always think of the people I'm gonna have on I think about a relationship. Yeah, I said, I gotta know this guy Maybe 11 years. I don't know how old he is 32 which is like so I knew you 70 and dwarf. Huh? Yeah How old were you when you knew you were gonna get into comedy? 19 and that and that and that's when I started. I always loved comedy. Where'd you start? I?

Will tell you the best story ever This is how I got started and I told this story on Rogan's podcast and I told it because I want people to know about a certain individual that a lot that a lot of people do not like in this business and And you can continue to not like him. I don't I'm not trying to convert you I'm just trying to tell you what happened and then you could take the story what you will So I go with my dad and we go to the Bray and probably I'm 19 to see a Carlos Benzia show and He is on stage. I'm in the audience. I've never done comedy before he starts telling midget jokes

Half the audience is laughing The half that's sitting by me is like Like not like just look over there like not laughing at all and men see and notices that he looks around He's like wait you guys aren't laughing. He's like these got these are good joke like these are good jokes Why aren't you laughing and yet and he says the sentence? What is one of them here? And I just raised my hand the air I was like, what's up, dude? Right here, and he looks down. He goes. Oh my god. One of them is here Come up here. I want to talk to you and he calls me up on stage

So I walk up on the stage I've never done stand-up before walk up on stage and he starts asking me questions about my life and I answer and my answers get laughs from the audience and Right then I was like, I'm in Right then that for those first couple jokes that I wasn't even trying to tell jokes I was just saying what I was just talking about my life and when the and when the audience laughed It's like, I mean, this is what this is what I want to do with my life So I tell I tell men see it that that night I say I'm gonna be a comedian because of tonight. He goes. All right

Good luck Fast forward to about a year and a half later He sees me again this time before the show at the Ontario improv and He recognizes me and he goes, hey, dude, you're the you're the guy that came up on stage He said you said you want to start stand-up. Did you start doing stand-up? I go, yeah, but do an open mics now for about like a year and a half and When you first start doing open mics for about a year and a half that that means I've been on stage maybe 12 times and

He goes, all right You're doing a mic. See me now. Do you want to open up for me tonight? Okay Yes, sir. I will I've just done open mics up to that point now He's saying do you want to go on in front of a sold-out improv and do a show? Yes, I would love to I go up I do like five minutes. I do okay. I Get off stage and then see it goes wow I put you up because you're a midget and I thought that would be funny enough

But shit you got jokes Do you what are you doing next weekend? Do you want to come on the road? And that's that's what happened. That's how I got in my career the next weekend He was at the Fox Theater in Bakersfield, which is like 1200 seats So in two weeks, I went from going from open mics to 1200 seat theaters in terms of performing It's insane and then he and then I was his opening act for four four years started going in the row with them Being being his dude

So I mean and I'm sure you have fans that are that really don't like the guy and that's fine I understand it. Like I said, I'm not trying to convert because I know I'm not Let me tell you a little fucking story of my friend. Yeah, I Get on stage for the first time in 91 for three years. I dick around. Mm-hmm. I dick around and I Get divorced I moved to New York and New York and realized what you have to do to become a comic Mm-hmm. I get on a plane in November in 93 and I head back to Denver with one intention become a dad become a comic Okay, I did everything I could to be a comic in Denver, you know without the comedy works You know those right right bars and redneck bars were the fucking column. Yeah, which you did plenty of oh, yeah, so I

Can aqua one day I'm some Spanish lady. Mm-hmm. And she cuz they're doing a show And they're looking for Latino comics and your name keeps bouncing up not between you and I come back and why nobody had nine minutes I love those early days three minutes was a Godzilla joke And I fucking sent the taping mm-hmm and a week later. She called me up She goes you got picked to open up a Carlos Mencia. He hadn't picked you Wow And I went down and me and Jimmy a beta and we did our time Is that his phone number oh Yeah, okay, hold on the old one. This is 20 years ago. Wow, okay gotta be this man. There wasn't even the other one

Let me get it Type in Ned. Yes, he's on in my phone is Ned That was his home number. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was home. Okay in 1994 that was his number And I called him every weekend. Yeah, so I moved to LA And he would give me advice. He'd tell me what to do Mm-hmm when I got that way he got mad at me because I used Doug Stanhope as a reference instead of him I Don't have anything against Carlos. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know in fact

I was watching one of his earliest specials and I was saying boy. He had fat fucking cheeks Special a month ago. I got the special I started looking at specials and yeah Yeah, the special was really fucking good. Mm-hmm. I don't know which one I had a look for it He sure he wore work boots in it the second one. Yeah, this is I'm talking about 90 fucking 99 yes, yes, that's the HBO special the HBO special So one of those specials is fucking great So me and Lee been looking at specials to see how I'm gonna do mine And I actually watching that special. There you go

I don't have anything against that if you know that night. I wasn't up there when that went down Mm-hmm me I got a different way of taking care of people sure and that has never done anything to me Yeah, when I see that I give him a big hug the last time I didn't give my hug was because I know was him All right, cuz you lost a lot of weight He finally came up to me. You don't like me no more. I didn't even know the fucking shoe I thought he was a fucking like a guy after a comedy show at the ice house. Yeah, big room. Yeah I was in a little room with both outside talking everybody's talking. He's there. I thought it was just a Mexican dude Yeah, you told me who it was. I was like, really? Yeah. Yeah, we could we didn't know who was yeah

Yeah, you are the fuck ton of weight man. Listen Carlos helped a lot of young comics out You know, let me tell you something. This is what the problem with society is this with the problem with us Myself included sure then we get mad at somebody we picked the thing that they did to us But we don't look at the good things they did to us. Yeah before we call him a fucking cocksucker We don't remember when they bought us lunch We don't remember when they took us on the road and paid for our whole tower room what she did We don't who the fuck do you think you're dealing with me? We don't remember all this shit. Yeah, you know I get the same with Joe sometimes I get mad at Joe for two days. Yeah, and also I go

What the hell am I mad about yeah a guy who has bought me more stakes My mother my mother was on this planet for my first 15 years We are fucking T-bone steaks and New York strips and shit right with Joe has bought me more Mm-hmm in 20 years, you know, what do I have to be angry? Yeah, they took us on the road exactly They taught us a way to be a comic. They told us the professionalism the way we did a comic Yeah, if a person has a flaw, whatever look at the ten good flaws. He has yeah well in people are trying so hard to Categorize people as heroes or villains and it's like

There's like gray area the best people in the world as we as we found out like I mean Don't forget two years ago. Bill Cosby was a hero a Hero just a perfect wonderful human being a genius of a comedian like in We all thought great human wonderful person now all this shit comes out now Everyone's like well. He's a villain. It's like well, he's both. He's a horrible horrible human and a comedic genius He's your personal question. He's both. Yeah, you're in on this. Okay. Mm-hmm Let's just ask you guys a question. That's been

You know, we look at Justin Bieber's behavior. Yeah, we look at Britney Spears behavior. Sure getting sure You know, you look at these people and we were starting to talk about a yes on the Rogan podcast. What happens to the mind? Yeah What happens to your mind? Mm-hmm, and you don't have the right people around you watching you If a doorman gets twenty two thousand a year and I pay Lee eighty thousand a year Mm-hmm. Do you really think Lee's gonna raise his hand about that sixteen-year-old that came into the back of the Right Lee's gonna go home and tell his father As far as I'm gonna say never repeat it to nobody

Yeah, shut your fucking mouth and take the 80 grand and look the other way and when you hear women back there moaning and grown They're getting stabbed. You see blood. We don't you don't care. You don't give a fuck He's not paying you for right. It's a hip-hop, you know Cosby Was not Cosby without a help from a village. It takes a village to raise a child It also takes a woman a village to rape a woman dog Yeah, there's a lot of secrets involved there if everybody's telling the truth here There's a lot more secrets that people that

Swallowed that pill because money does right weird things to us Brad. Sure, you know, listen, I've never liked Cosby Let's get something part of the fucking way I didn't like Cosby 1994 Judy Brown had a festival in Colorado and Cosby talked Mm-hmm, and I paid to whatever they're gonna hear him speak And his first words out of his mouth was negativity about dirty comics and comics are used for profanity He was gonna have to Eddie Murphy at that time. Yeah, I don't know if you remember this I'm gonna have to Eddie Murphy at that time and profanity and we don't need it in these black comics and I looked at him and The back of my mind I go, you know what you want to talk about some fucking honkies

Doing fuck jokes or dick jokes. Mm-hmm. That's fine with me But you want to thank your own people. Yeah, who right now you're not sounding like you're attacking your own people You're coming from a jealousy angle. Yeah, you're coming from a jealousy angle. I heard he had remarks about Harlem Knights I already had remarks about a lot of things. Fuck him. He's getting what the fuck he deserves, but You made a good point at one point Cosby was a good guy. Well, let me tell you something. These reports are coming back from 1968. Yeah 1968 he was raping fucking women already It's insane and but but you're right because people talked about how When it when the news came out, they're like, well, there's been rumors for years

And I'm like, well see now we're now we're all part of it. If there's rumors for years That means people knew, you know, OJ was beating that woman for years. Yeah OJ was beating that woman for years and those cops are going over there Taking a look on a same fuck this bitch. Yeah, and then they saw the fake tits Yeah, and they made a judgment call and then said OJ. He's the juice. Did you yeah? Yeah, no you didn't and then they asked OJ for a picture. There's cops right now at home that want to shoot themselves Yeah, they want to shoot themselves because it takes a village Cosby has not rape been raping people. I'm 50 fucking three years old

Mm-hmm. So when I was six Cosby was already raping people. Oh, that's 47 fucking years ladies and gentlemen Somebody had to see something. Yeah, somebody had to say something You know, we live what about this other fucking guy this Woody Allen. Yeah, same thing Tell me the truth the Woody Allen called you tomorrow and gave you a starting role in his next movie Would you do it? Would you would you look at the picture your niece and go fuck it? Dude, of course. I mean, of course This is that this is what we live with. Yeah, and and It's it's this moral dilemma that we're all that we're all stuck with and

You know who because you say what you want about any? Hollywood director or that guy's an asshole. He's a punk. He like the Pete the people who are complaining about the new the new Ghostbusters movie meet how like oh come out Yeah, not yet. I think it comes out in July and it's like oh it that that that ruined my childhood and They're they're switching up. They're putting women in it. It's so horrible if Paul Feig called you Minute after you're done with that rant and said, you know what? We're doing some reshoots of the Ghostbusters movie. Do you want to partner it every one of those fuckers be like hell? Yes? Give me that paycheck

Hell yes. Well, and then I'm I'm forgetting the name of the actor But what about the like the kid thing that's been going around the Corey Haim and the other one like that's like a like pedophiles Oh, oh the guy the yeah, the guy that was on glee the deal with the Mohawk Listen the whole class to glee a fucking pedophiles like if you looked at glee and you didn't know there was a problem You know only motherfuckers that sing all day a perverted motherfuckers like that I never watched that show glee but one night I went home and I watch it for like eight minutes I'm like, this is a pervert show. It came to a halt. Did they even do the five seasons? No No, no, no people were raping each other on the set. There were kids be yelling and screaming

There were blankets. Yeah, that's sure to even make five years for a fucking reason. Yeah, and and The whole you know, oh one of the kids died. Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah over those and and you brought this up by starting when talking about Bieber and Brittany and things like that Those are people to wear Like you you can say you don't like their music fine, but to really say like oh, well, they're fucking crazy Yeah, no kidding We all would be if given all the money and no one to tell us no at age 18 19 Oh my god, I would not like

It's funny I did I did a show on time at the lab factory and And Bieber was actually in the audience and I talked to him afterward for a little bit and I said dude How how can you send out? Can you just send out a tweet and say like Brad Williams is funny? Please just say Brad Williams like that tweet will change my life If you just enter those words and hit send that will change my life and he goes I'm gonna tell you I'm not in charge of my Twitter and at first I was upset and then and I thought about I go Of course, he's not in charge of his Twitter. Thank God. He's like that would have been

That way that way he would be they'd be in jail right? Yes, of course. He would be if you're 18 years old I mean If you remember what your mindset was at 18 years old if you now had access to instantly communicate with 52 million people across the world But you imagine the hell you would cause the things that you would say Is that how many people he has honest something like that 52 million 52 fucking million people. Yeah, let's see Yeah, look he's number like one or three or something like that. Whoo 82 point four Oh, 82 point four. Sorry. I was off by 30 million and he lip-synced And he lip-synced at the American music fucking awards and yeah, I got 82 million fucking people

It's people that play real rock and roll music. Oh They got three followers. God you when when when when Prince died and they started doing all the Prince music. I Got sad obviously because we lost Prince, but then I was angry because then you turn on the radio like What would ever whatever rate whatever radio station be like? All right, you know because and this is an honor of Prince and then they would play Let's go crazy and then and then the next song would be like the new fucking Selena Gomez shit or like whatever that I'm like, how can you put that back to back? With Prince and it and if you are that artist if you are the next song that plays after Prince

I hope you think about slitting your wrists Cuz you're like cuz you're like wow that's an artist right there And then they had the balls to play me after that. That's what I'm it's like There's certain comics when I see when I watch a Bill Burr special. I go, oh fuck God Really, I'm in the same profession as this guy. I'm doing what this guy does. We have the same job title technically boy like and It makes me work harder cuz I'm like if that's the standard. I gotta I gotta I gotta do some shit

I gotta I gotta take my game the next level so when Prince and like and I wrote this I wrote this tweet when Prince died Where it was like thank you Consider yourself lucky that you get to say RIP Prince and RIP David Bowie because the next generation has to say RIP Joe Jonas And it's like yeah, that's that's who their models are gonna be that's who their people are gonna be like, oh Joe Jonas was a genius Put on put on the Ziggy Stardust record Listen to this like you like that's like you just want to show them like no and that and that's before my time

Do you see the use I? Have a problem when I make those statements. I sound like that guy when I was 18 that was putting me down, right? Okay, I sound like that, but I Speak to a lot of guys your age. Mm-hmm Lee's age. Mm-hmm And I asked him what you know Lee listens to these Jews that jump up and down You know with an organ and everybody goes and they do is that jump up and down. That's an electronic band It's electronic. I mad him. I like that. He likes me. That's a great thing sure, but he's not into The shit that everybody else is listening to he doesn't buy arena and album. He doesn't buy who I think is great

Yeah, I think re-en music is great. I like I like tricks things. I always have but Do you feel that like all right, yeah, they would play Green Day, right? I think Green Day is a good band Whatever You know, I liked Nirvana. I liked Soundgarden. I like the Allison chains. I liked and then won't It just went somewhere. Yeah, like the music just went somewhere that I didn't go Mm-hmm and I look, you know, yeah today somebody sent a very interesting tweet This is the next time we do a music podcast that we should play an un An album we don't know. Mm-hmm like an unsigned artist

And talk about it, you know, which is a great idea because I haven't found nothing new except the shit on the fucking radio Like the fury and songs and I will be well I've almost been out of high school 10 years and I've just like I just started Stopping and looking back. Like I don't like it now. I don't know any of the new bands I don't know who's playing who's playing on the teams. Like I don't know A lot of the new like hit like the whatever whatever. What is it called?

Whatever everyone's talking about. Mm-hmm. So I I'm still listening to the music I listen to in high school. Yeah So do you think you just don't ever have room for new music? Like it might it might not be any worse It might just be no it's always room for new fucking. Yeah, because I mean when the when I first heard a black keys song I was like, oh, this is good I like this But are you attracted from the back black keys because of your old school music taste? I like the black keys because they bring me back. You listen to the black keys and you're like, Jesus fucking christ Yeah, yeah, yeah, these guys are about to blow up the stage. Yeah, they're real fucking terrorists these fucking people

You know, there's some bands that last night your boy came by the store Okay Ross dude Ross dude, my little brother came by the store stoned to the gills and as always Look like a 55 fucking pills. That's why I love him And he said he had just come back from the new rage machine Rates against the machine at the troubadour. Yeah, fuck they play profits of rage profits of rage Because they're pretty fucking good, you know, I listened to the public enemies last album. I still dabble

But it's easier for me to take a notebook out and throw mega death on and listen to both sides of And right, you know, because I'll stop and go wow that always was a good guitar solo And by their creativity it sparks mine But then you made a great point. Jesus christ, brad. It's great to see you So when I was growing up when I was 10 and 12, let me tell you who the baddest motherfucker in the world was What was that out and john You look at me and go joey Are you fucking serious?

You can't be fucking sick. Hey man guy can play a piano. I saw him live I had this whole thing there that I got high and I was coming back to the little king when it was songs was on I got I got teary-eyed philadelphia freedom And it's a stupid fucking song, but he was such a part of my childhood Did I know that he was going to end up looking like joe dears with a vest on with big glasses and shit But it proves to you that he is a fucking icon Yeah Now do you think katie perry's going to be that icon in 20 years?

Do you see a do you see the chick that fucks everybody and writes a song about him as a icon? She's unstoppable That's getting chickens Taylor Swift. Yeah, she's unstoppable. Yeah, she sucks a dick, you know, like we need weed for a year We write a routine One day that bitch sucks a dick One day they're all of them. She tastes a different pussy on that dick and she's got a gold fucking album Oh, my god, you know Adele. I bust her balls Adele's got good Two good fucking songs. Mm-hmm. Everything else is garbage

But I think she's overrated. Mm-hmm in a big way, you know, she's For a different taste or whatever is she gonna be out in john in 20 fucking years, right? Yeah, it's it's so who yeah, who's who's gonna be that next level Musician to where the next the next generation will still like them. We'll still we'll still look back But the thing is there aren't that many up in john's so long. He has to be like one like That's sometimes when people say all the music was way better There it was they seem to be a little bit more But there's I'm sure there was a lot of shitty music back then. Oh, yeah

I mean, there's a lot of shitty music in every generation Like there's a lot of bad stuff to go along with the few good stuff but In just in terms of like like I like rock music and I like sort of bluesy music What your parents listen to? Uh parents listen to the Beatles parents listen to Springsteen did you look at them and go well, this is all people fucking music tom petty and my mom loved My mom loved music holes and like Nat King Cole

And so I listened to a lot of that stuff and I loved it Could you get aggravated as a child when you heard that shit? Nah loved it Lee you get aggravated your family's music. I'm not my her music But I used to hate when my mom would play the piano and it used to kill her She used to love to play the piano and sing and my brother and I would I don't know why we just hate we're like, no Oh, yeah But uh, no, it's like it's you said your dad listened to disco

Yeah, my dad didn't listen to shit He listened to disco when he worked out my mom listened to oldies and and she liked musicals too So it's not really like stuff you can get like Right fan of yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, uh, I I dug it. I I dug my parents music It was weird it was until I started getting into my own music that then I would like something for about a month and then look back and go. What the fuck Why did the hell did I have a red backwards yankees hat to look like fred durst? I'm missing as a kid

I rocked it. I don't even know a limp biscuit song. Oh, I have it on. I have one on my phone Yeah, put a little biscuit song on for me. I always try to remember that guy's name fred durst fred durst Yeah It was just it that's the thing that We say like all music was better when we were younger, but hey, I'll I'll be Free to admit like I still liked some shit I still like some crappy stuff And uh, hopefully you learn from it. Which one should I play you think no key rolling break stuff?

Do no key. Okay. That's a classic I remember loving this song only two The thing is is I I I still like the riffs But then you listen to the lyrics and then that's what turns me off Right. I never I never could understand the lyrics anyway Then you'll see the size of the same Oh my god I

What do you think of them Joe? Oh Jesus christ What the fuck is this other guitarist? So you can take that cookie That's that's just like tiny dancer, right same sort of lyrical content I wish you guys I I I hope you guys are watching online because joe joe's face right now is awesome. Just dumbfounded mouth the gay But in reality People might end up hard in a blender a lyric he stole

Where did he steal it from? Uh, eave six. Oh, I like eave six too. Yeah Joey's like, oh man, I need weed So, yeah, that's that's your first olympus get experience Joey How you feeling music on some sound? No, no, no, I never liked to talk over the fucking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah music too much Now what years was this this was 2000 I would say like 99 to maybe oh four Kind of like some little biscuit errors. I don't remember one thing I didn't stop from 97 to 2005 like in 2005 was when I stopped and started watching tv like a human Established in 95

Wow Yeah, but like the hits were When they covered george michael like that was gotta be like 98 99 like I Loved sound garden. Yeah And in 97 when I left seattle, I got so involved in comedy and so involved in the auditions and the commercial auditions and acting class and You know, there's so many fucking things at the time. I got involved with

I let music go Because to get ahead in comedy in the beginning here, you gotta immerse yourself at this Yeah, you like you want to be writing jokes. You want to you just want to be sitting in an apartment like No, no, no, no, I didn't even have on bobbing your head. Didn't even have an apartment. Oh, wow I lived in a car. I took showers at the comedy store or josh bull's house or rafi maize house There you go. You know, we roughed it out here I love those stories. No and sometimes you like I still remember going. Oh my god I don't have a spot at the comedy store on a Tuesday night

And I met I met didn't give me a spot at the union And I remember staying home and watching nypd for the first time because I kept auditioning for that show And I didn't even know what the show was about Like that's how like when I first met joe rogan. It took me three months. I thought he was on news radio News radio like hi, we're here direct 10 wins joe rogan here Reporting so you didn't know was a sitcom. No, I didn't you thought when When they said joe rogan's on news radio when I first met joe rogan the girl I was dating goes he's on a Oh my god, I recognize him and she said news radio. Mm-hmm. So I just thought it was news radio

Ha ha Yes, you thought joe had headphones on breaking news. I don't know y'all sitting one day. He told me. Yeah, he was rehearsing And I go, what do you rehearse? In case there's like a disaster. Yeah, what are you rehearsing? You know, like there might be a fire and he goes to show I rehearse Tuesday through fucking Thursday and we shoot Friday And I go, what show are you talking? I thought you did a news show and he goes. What do you thought? Yeah news radio He's like, yeah, so what do you gotta rehearse? That's how lost I was that's that night time

You know, eight o'clock you were out and listen when you were out there, you know What is when you first yeah at night? You there was no nights off, right? There's no nights off. Yeah They at least said to me, you know, you really don't take a day off Who does yeah Four three hours you always work three four hours you always work and some days you might work six Some days you got to drive to bakersfield and see leaded Someday, you know, some days you got to drive to san diego someday. You know, it's all different We're still not we still don't have a day job

But we still fucking work But now like comedy is such like now when people say Things like oh your comics you work 20 minutes a night or you work an hour at night That's the thing where it's like Not now comedy is a full-time job. It's a full-time job. It's it's a half-time job How so okay 15 years ago. Yeah, you call me and go. Hey man. I was talking to my manager just now. He really likes you Really? Yeah. What do you think I should do?

Go drop off the tape and give me a resume. Where is he? Beverly Hills, but he's there after 430 Fuck Nowadays I could just send that over. Yeah email my resume And he's just gonna go to youtube while he's talking to me right and he's gonna tell me I'm sitting here at the store He's never even gone to the fucking store because he's looking at me from the store. Yeah, you know, that's the easiness now Yeah, remember after 9 11, they didn't let you walk on sony no more My first three four years here. I have nothing to do you go to sony and drop off fucking envelopes And nobody calls you they throw them in the garbage, but at least you did something that day

Right. You say you did something to advance the career when I first got here the county store would give you a dollar For every ticket somebody came in would get free and take it I would go up to universal city And give away 200 tickets and make 80 dollars at the door that day You know, you just do little things. Yeah, things like that everything adds up Yeah, when I come from an audition the first thing I do before I do anything is I send a thank you Before I even take that wardrobe off just when there's no misunderstanding I go back on the computer. I look at this address

And I just send a thing. Mm-hmm. That's all work. Yeah when I first got here. I didn't know you had to do those things That's how you book jobs. Right. Right. Right. You don't book jobs by just showing up and going Thank you and running out of there. You send the fucking can I do anything? Is there something else another one? We want you to read for the part of melvin. There you go Because you said hello you weren't for the part of melvin and your agent don't know which is even better Because now you can call them up in time the job you did while you were sitting at home talking about that fucking Asian chick you represent. Yeah, yeah, yeah

I Love that and and and what I was saying is now with comedy it's like between doing podcasts and twitter And instagram and youtube videos and when I got in here you're on you're on periscope like that's all career too That's all that's all that's all career. I fucking hate this social media And it's not a hard work But it's still work. It's still work because my first thought was you think richard pragg goes home I'll never forget when somebody told me that dang cook. Now. I always loved me. Mm-hmm

For an hour. I was mad at dame when none of the drive home Somebody said yeah, but for a year dame got on my space and talked to people after he left the comedy club To me. I was bewildered. I was like fuck him Fuck that punk You think richard pragg would go home and tweet people you think fucking Freddie prints would go home and tweet people do you think kennison went home and tweeted people guess what hashtag? Yeah, if kennison was around today, he'd be fucking tweeting people. Yeah, you know, it's true You got to be on social media today. I was talking to joey alvarado

Today and he thanked me, you know the kettlebell jits are right. Yeah, they can't tell you how many guys Are on to me now because of the podcast. Yeah, becky went down to the class. Yeah, techy becky went down that becky said she loved it It's real weird if you're not on social media today. So yeah, part of it is writing and Getting on stage and driving to your gigs and staying healthy. Yeah staying healthy because again the first Six years I was here all about comedy. I didn't even think about a pusher That's why I got up to 418 pounds. Yeah, because I didn't think about a pusher Yeah, you were just thinking about when's been ex joke when yeah, that's it. Who gives a fuck what's my next line of coke? What's up?

You always talk about adapting and it's I was just thinking it kind of sucks because now with social media That can push people who might not have the comedy or the music or whatever further than they might might warrant but So you mean like someone has a large social media following but they don't have they don't have the talent to back it up Or yeah, like the fine like I hear a lot of complaints from comedians about fine people Yeah

But by what people people who make vine videos like the six second videos. Yeah YouTubers and stuff What if I've learned anything from joey? It's just like you have to accept the market that you're in Yeah, and like why like there's people who still fight doing social like why fight it? It's not gonna do unless unless you're like tosh or the few people who are big enough who don't need it Right, it's not gonna But then you never know what if what if that show goes and 30 years down the road. He wished he did social I don't know. Yeah, it's something to where

You could fight change or you can just say like well this or this is what we're doing now This is kind of now like it used to be you just had to be funny You used to be a comedian. You just had to be funny now. Now you got to be funny on twitter You got to be funny on your instagram. Well, here's the chance and it's a whole different skill 20 years ago 15 years ago You had this conversation with people because I had you're a real comic You started doing some rooms and one day you pulled around and you go How is this guy getting 80 people here every Wednesday night? Yeah, he's not funny at all. Yeah But then you go to his neighborhood and there's flyers everywhere his pictures at the chinese restaurant

His pictures at the fucking liquor store. Yeah, you know, that's cool. That's a complete different gift Yeah, there's three guys. Yeah, I'm not gonna say right that I've never said a funny thing in their fucking life And for years They packed local places. Yeah, and then nice kids. I still talk to him. I see him Yeah, I'm a big hug because part of my Getting funny was their little fucking shitty room three nights a week and you look at these guys and that always fucked with me Sure, the thing at end if for me was when I went to see the wrestler Mm-hmm because the wrestler came out in december. Mm-hmm, but I heard about it in september

And I heard about it again And that fucked with me when I went to see the wrestler when I left there. It was a great movie But all I kept thinking about was how did they get this out four months earlier? Without a publicist without all the bullshit the way you and I grew up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know how Yeah, it's funny. Uh, you talk about guys that Filled the room. I heard a trick Because there was one guy and I'm not gonna say his name, but he would He was one of these guys he would fill the room whenever he would promote a show

Horrible comedian just never funny, but would fill the room sold out. I was like, how the fuck is he doing this? I finally found out how he did it and the story is unreal He would go on craigslist And he would go to like the the dates like and he would get He would tell these older women These single women looking for dates like hey, I'll go on a date with you Tuesday night 8 p.m. Improv you be there It's a date and he would fill up the room with craigslist women

So when he went on stage everyone was like, oh my god God, you're so funny because they thought they were with him that night They thought they thought they were on a date Unbelievable and did they pay to get in? Yes And like pardon me is mad at him and pardon me is like God, I gotta respect that game Because he found a way he found a trick. That's American engineering. Yeah mad. I'm not mad at them at all. That's that's that's a listen Whatever gets you through the night. Yeah

And listen when I first did economy the first four or five times I used to every woman in that audience Thought they were dating you know what's crazy so funny if I fucking put a gun to your head brad And you had 20 fucking minutes of comedy I had to think back and you had 20 minutes of comedy If you put brad williams 15 bucks Two people come to see you the same way they come to see me and brad But if I put a gun to you had yeah When I said to you brad

If there's not 200 people here, you're never gonna work again Mm-hmm You know when I first started comedy I figured something out There was the Bex Bex First off when I started comedy in 91 every three months you went to a contest. Did you know that? Oh really? Yeah, there was the Johnny Walker red. Okay. There was the mbc and they went nationally to all the open mic cities

And you did your thing and then you competed in Las Vegas The big one was Johnny Walker red in san francisco But my first year in Denver. I auditioned for 10 of those things. I bonded all of them. I've never made it Past the second round. So what had happened was Bex put on a contest in colorado And they auditioned people in gunnison and Denver and whatever and I auditioned in boulder People were always prejudiced to boulder. I did not know this. They said people in boulder were too intelligent Yeah, so my field was small But the times that I told people that was performing in the contest

Like they would come and they would cheer and that's the reason why I had won I wouldn't really win because I was the funniest in the room. You just had the most people I had the most people in the room which at the time was seven from like a sports buddy service Why were you like that or six guys came in from the deli? Right? So I'll never forget this december 18th 1991 the first time I got on stage was july june 18th 1991 I for three months. I did three sets and then after that brad. I just did that contest It was on tuesday one tuesday a month. You had to go down and compete. I competed against magicians and

And all these fucked up different people none of them who I know are around today So on december 18th what I did was I called all my friends. I said listen I got the coke noriega had in his closet when the dea raided him But i'm not getting it till about 8 30. I'll be at the broker tonight. Mm-hmm. Guess how many people showed up to the broker? 30 Guess how much coke I had for them Nothing I told him the connection thought dude noriega's ship got tipped over And I gave you 500 bucks and after that on those big nights. I would do the same thing

But somewhere along the line. I forgot how to be a marketer and a promoter Because you focus again brad. I don't even like solid t-shirts anymore After a show, you know, we don't like to because I like focusing on that fucking set. Yeah So much. I don't want to work in between. I gotta look get glasses on and look for extra large This guy wants me to sign it forget. Yeah, trust me. Oh, none of us want to yeah. No, I love Doing calm. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and I hated over the years how I got distracted even when I was doing coke I wasn't I wouldn't sell shit afterward because I was hoping to rush to get the fuck out of that And number two, I just didn't have the dignity like I could rob you with a gun

But I feel guilty if I sold you a t-shirt after this Oh god, that's funny yet, uh I I I had an acting coach one time that told me something he goes, uh Desperate people get super creative super fast And that's true Like you said hold a gun to my head say hey 200 people in the room There will be 200 people in that room. I will find a way There uh, there will be times when when I'd be opening up from encia where

He would say all right in two weeks. We got this show at this club If I hear one joke I've ever heard before you're off the road So I'd be like, okay two weeks I had to write a whole new like 15 minutes set and It's not that he wanted me to kill or like he He's didn't want me to just have that same be that comic that feature act that prominent feature that just is like Oh, I've got 15 minutes and that's all I've got like he wanted me to expand and grow

He didn't care if the jokes weren't good. He just wanted them to be new to be something new So keep throwing shit at the wall try try to make stuff stick and yeah At that fifth two weeks later. I would have the new set Wouldn't be that great, but it would be new at least you said it. Yeah, you know, you don't know how many times Just getting on stage writing something. That's funny and go. I'm trying that tonight. Yeah killing and getting off stage and going I didn't say that It gets you so mad Fuck it. I gotta wait till Tuesday now. I gotta go to that room the kid 80 people

Right gotta drive down there to the chinese restaurant. Whatever the fuck it was. Yeah, there's and and there's always that point Where you got you have to force yourself you have to force yourself to say that new bit on stage Because it's not it's not gonna write It's not it's not it's not gonna write itself. It's not it's it's not gonna become a Staple joke of your act if you just always have it on the sidelines like i'm working on a bit. Okay, do it Fucking do it find it. I mean one of my favorite shows to do at the store. Have you ever done those? The stand up at the spot Where they just yell out terms. Yeah, and you just go

I fucking love that because it forces you to like think funny try to try to find things and like try to make connections It's it's a lot. It's a lot of fun. I love doing that show. I never done it. Yeah, I've never done all that stuff I've done like the one with a yo ideas at you, but yeah, houston. We did it one time at there. Okay. I had somewhere Yeah, I just got too fucking crazy people. You got satan fucking people out there. I don't know no satan jokes Like I hang out we say about the dark lord We say what's up back there? How you feeling dog? You going to boston this weekend? I'm going home for the weekend Come on. Tell me what you need tomorrow. We're we're gonna stop and uh legal seafoods first What's just gonna be good? It's my it's my favorite. We're gonna go there and then I'm not sure for the rest

We might go see a red sauce game if there you go It's gonna be fun. I haven't been I only go home like once a year Is your brother gonna be home? No, he's in new york now. You're a boston kid. Yeah. Love it, man Yeah, great comedy city. Yeah, I miss it. I miss it, but it's uh I'm glad I'm going now. I used to go back because I when I moved down here I worked in tv and the only time you get time off is for christmas Yeah, so I'd always be going back in the snow and it's garbage. Yeah. Now I get to go back Now I get to go back in june. You're gonna eat some mushrooms on the plane. You want to take them by stem for tomorrow morning?

Not really A stem at seven in the morning. Shit. You'd be like a doctor on that fucking plane. Fuck you. All right. So you're going to boston Yes, I am. So joey get this. I'm doing when this comes out I'm doing brand prob this weekend But monday morning by that. I mean 105 in the morning. I got on a plane. I'm flying to china And I'm gonna be doing stand-up in china joey deas I'm beyond excited to do this and not a first time in china Yeah, and it's not like military bases. They break it down to you. Yeah, you're gonna have a good time because it's a little distance

From your little asshole to the hole I always say you have a squat. You have to shit on the floor. Oh, really? Yeah, and like a sumo position Awesome, you better bring something a little lassy yours might go through that fucking hole I got I I got a good balance when you're trying to say. Yeah Yeah, he said he went everybody was giving you toilet paper and he didn't know why Because there's no toilet paper in the bathrooms Wow All right, people give you toilet paper. You're like, why don't they give me toilet paper?

Is it the same tour steve simon did like kung fu comedy? Yes. Yeah. He said he had a lot. He said he went twice Yeah, he said he had a lot of fun. All right. Listen, man Anytime you have that privilege to go over there and fucking do it. Yeah See a new culture and not think of anything. Yeah. See like, I don't know. I never I don't have a passport But it eliminates a lot of drama in my world Sure Because I'm not the type like I always said to myself, you know, these guys think they're better than you Like you get guys like anyone. I did comedy in england. Who gives a fuck?

I did comedy in england too. It's called cotton Same fucking difference. Okay. Yeah, it's just people. You know, they're just people and I don't like that side of it But then there's people like when simon went to china I was like, that's great when a hurry went because I know they're not trying to be snooty. There's a certain comfort No, I'm just excited to go Australia. Have you been you know, you're like, who gives a fuck? Yeah, I just want to go to see China like yeah, I want to do my sets and I want to be home, you know, hopefully go well But like it's funny when when they first got the offer my agent's like, I don't know

I think we can hold out for more money. I'm like, no, no, just go I just want to go how many weeks just one. Okay, but it's like six But it's like five different cities in six days. You drink. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so I got a girlfriend Yeah, look at you. Yeah And when you came in here, she lives with me joe ideas. So you're settled. I'm settled. She lives with me tall Half chinese half white girl. She going with you Uh, no, because I probably it's it's the old what was the sam triply joke where he's like

I was touring with with bobby lee in china and all and all of a sudden bobby left and I lost him Because you're looking around you're like, shit Where'd he go? Yeah, I'm I'm yeah, so yeah, probably that situation with her. No, um For this time, I just want to go and I want to see it and I want to just kind of I I kind of I kind of want to go first and kind of check it out And then and then maybe the next time we go because you said you said steve went twice, right? Yeah, he went uh, two years ago and then this year, but he did a different uh tour this year. Okay. Yeah You know, somebody asked me that day. I was talking to a friend of mine

He lives in florida now and he said to me, uh Do you enjoy knowing celebrities? Mm-hmm Think about it for a minute and I go first off I don't hang out with celebrities. Yeah, but I've seen the pig. I go listen. Listen. I bump into them Yeah, at the county store, you take a picture with them. But yeah, I don't want you to think that bread pick calls me on the phone Or have them send me a christmas card. All right. All right. Well, nothing like that. I don't know anybody like that You're not you're not hanging out with jennifer aniston because what's the best part?

You like it and I go, I love it. It just It's something I got into the desperation, but I just stuck it out. You know, it's just sticking it out but I think After doing the open mic I hosted the open mic at the storm one night And I was a little pissed off when I was there not But you know, I made it all better, man. What's that that I got to see you back then I got to see some bastion back then One of the best conversations I ever had in this town was with bill burr when their show got cancelled in 90 fucking 7

And he was ready to jump off a roof. Yeah He had the show with jenna and the dude from fucking office space and the show got cancelled Bill burr thought he was dead in the water. Yeah, and he went back to boston. He started from day one You know, I saw marina 99 in fucking dying Snorting coke with me in a hotel in the fucking sunset Yeah And you see red life blossoms Yeah, you see that there. It's so cool. It's I've seen things that I'm fucking bobby lee

No money at the latino laugh festival in san Antonio and carlos his own manager. Yeah, uh, the black dude Worthy, yeah took us for dinner. We had no fucking money to eat bobby lee 22 years on mad tv Right, no fucking money to eat none of us between us. We had three dollars for the tip You know now I see bobby lee and that's Where the adventure is, you know, that's where I've gotten to fucking see some from the beginning Like I just you bit into a dog If I have to think if somebody came to me and said can you describe brad william? He's a small dude

You know, did you know, you know, no, no that has nothing to do with When I just know that when you bit into it like I heard about you I told you before the show I thought you were black A midget I go jesus christ a black fucking midget This guy this is a score fucking carlos god enough cocksucker This is a score what I could do with a black fucking midget What I could do it'd be endless at that time I do anything with a fucking black midget at that time I was desperate 99 2 000 I was really stabbing I was a train and stolen phone in the comedy store. What would I do with a black midget?

And I saw you and I loved you and became friends and yeah And then I saw you on the mind of a sea and I'm like look at this kid not on there because He's his friend, but he's on there because he's that good And he's that good. I saw him And now he's that's the shit because I was in the same place as you people would see me no longer Trying to go Joe Rogan got him that role really really when I was in that room with sony Yeah, 20 white people You know at nine in the morning when I went to bed at 5 45 off a fucking gram

I got from chewy. Yeah, and I nailed that role. You're gonna tell me Joe Rogan called in there We did this on our own right and it's really hard to explain to people that people still come up to me go I will joke now Joe Rogan was like Joe Rogan open up a window and we jumped out of it Yeah, we took a chance and jumped out of it This is the same window like your uncle says do you want to come work in the fruit market? And you're gonna know it's long hours. It's a two-hour drive But meanwhile they're making 2200 a week stealing fruit out the back door. Everybody's getting rich Some people don't take the fucking jump. We took a jump. We believed yeah

We went up there. We looked at it. We figured it out. We figured out. You know what whatever's gonna happen It's gonna take a while when you came in here. You said that, you know, you had a successful Especially did it right up a bike in new york times. Yeah, and you're sitting at home waiting for the ship to come And then back up with 20 dudes with satchels like fucking in the scarface. Yeah, okay. I've made it, right? Yeah, where's my where's my brink's truck? But this is about And longevity. Yeah, I'm watching sopranos two weeks ago. Mm-hmm, and I'm watching junior Yeah, take a junior junior was on a hit show in his 60s Can you imagine going home and looking at your 40 grand checking going? Where were you when I was 35?

I mean tv dinners in a one bedroom apartment in fucking jersey now you want to show up Well, it's uh, it's it's funny. Um, uh, my manager, uh, berry cats When I first met with him He had this thing And this story that he tells about Lou Louie ck where he goes could you imagine? Walking up to louis ck when he's 19 20 years old starting comedy and saying hey louis You just start you just get into comedy

You're you're you're gonna be the biggest comedian on the planet You're gonna have the love and respect of every other comic working the industry You're gonna have a hit show that all the critics love Like everyone's gonna want to put you in movies You're you're you're gonna sell out Madison Square Garden. You are going to be a comedic icon in this business All you got to do is wait 25 years and do it

And then you think to yourself like what would you do if you got that speech at age 19? You wouldn't do it. Yeah, you would not fucking do it. I would never the vast majority of you would be like I'm gonna celebrate 25 years. I'm gonna celebrate 25 years in june right now and in 17 days And if you think at any time when I started That I thought I'd be in this shit for 25 fucking years You're fucking crazy. Yeah, I can't lie to you guys. I gave this like a seven-year window when I came to LA When I came that way, I was like this ain't gonna work for me. Yeah, and all of a sudden I'm at the store And I'm at the your problem. And all of a sudden Jamie tells me because you do not belong in Los Angeles

You belong in night clubs. I come to this country with a tuxedo on We make big money you and me. I do not have you in my club. You're too dirty And I'm doing monday nights with Gilbert. I'm like, how am I gonna leave now? I'm at the fucking store people die people take a bullet to get to the store I'm in there talking to mincey sure about cuba. Yeah cubans and how she likes cuban men and shit I'm like, are you fucking serious? Yeah getting 1145 spots meeting paul mooney What the fuck was I gonna go when I kept going? I'm gonna go back and be a father Because I have an older daughter. I'm let me go back and be a father. I'm like, uh

I'm out here fucking doing what she'd want me to do. This is what any fucking person would want me to do Is go for your fucking dream, you know, mm-hmm So you just keep going just keep going and let me tell you something the days become years They become years, but they become 25 I think 25 is I don't think I could do it to be honest So if they came to you and said you're gonna have everything you ever wanted and then some you're gonna suppress You're gonna surpass all your wildest dreams Well in 25 years if they told me that and like it was like verifiable. Yeah, I could do it

But I'm just saying like yeah, since we obviously don't have that Right, I don't think I could last it depends on what level they got to tell me just to be honest If you're making 20,000 a year for 20 years less Less 15,000. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just say like let's say you don't even like progress a little bit Like you're just like constantly at the bottom. I don't think I could do it. Listen bro from 91 To 92 and a half. I had money. I was living off credit cards big Fuck it. I'm going down with that titanic Let me get every shirt in that color. You know what I'm saying? Yeah

But let's be honest from 93 To 98. I didn't see a fucking dime Poverty level didn't accept nothing. I robbed a little bit. I fucking sold some drugs. I did gigs Poverty level lean a t-shirt here and pants here. You know what? What do you need? Cocaine or underwear. I'm going with the cocaine. We'll skip out underwear people with 20 years of no underwear With your balls of sink. What if you get into an accident? You think you clean underwear? Listen, I'll take my chances Okay, they're gonna I gotta cut my pants off with that fucking scissor anyway

Okay, then in 98 I came out here and I was living off that girl like she was helping me and I would pay him back I think I stole over a grand And then I booked the commercial I basically put that in my nose. I got a couple t-shirts Got a little 800 dollar car. You know shit like that to get you started But then you went into another funk. Yeah, and what the funk is lee Let me tell you what the funk is lee after five years. Here's the funk and this is my witness And if I'm lying to any comic after five years dawg

It becomes the rolling stones You can't always get what you want But we get what we need. Mm-hmm if you're not is 1200 a month If you're gonna come to me and say, you know what? I'm gonna become a comic But I'm gonna eat lobster. I'm gonna support this girl. I'm gonna drive a Benz You're wrong. You better relocate your allocations jack You got to get your nut down to a thousand to 1200 Yeah, you got to live in a closet your car has to be paid for you pay insurance every month

And your food's gonna and your food and you smoke pot. You're on a budget because you're gonna sink You're gonna fucking go down in flames. I ain't worth the aggravation You'll fucking make that thousand dollars. Will you not my brother? That's where people get super creative super fast. How fucking how many times did the phone ring on the 20th? And bell you out. Oh so many times. How many fucking times on the 20th? You're like, oh my god Yeah, lord. What the fuck am I gonna do? Hello, listen are you available at 24 and 25? Yes, the Santa Monica. Yes, $850. Why are you still talking? Yes I'll start right fucking now. Yeah. You want to do radio? No, no, no, no

I'll fucking own the rear. I'll parachute into the fucking radio station. They got donuts. Yeah, they got donuts these shit Let me give some shout outs. Yeah, shout them out. Get the fuck out of here. Mm-hmm. It was a great scene You man, you become a fucking man in front of my eyes. Thank you Michael Paul Clawson get well cocksucker my little sweetheart brandy Lynn Oaky spooky looking good down there in Austin Dominic Salas Ross dude coming back Dave Christensen Dante Gazzini send a postcard. Are you missing cocksucker?

And my main man iron side My fucking brother put that barbecue on today. Do you see that? Oh my god Bobby and the crystal put that fucking thing on tremendous brisket ribs They don't know where to kill potatoes. I'm gonna get me hungry guys. You should have seen it's like the whole on the taxis I'm walking here. I could pull it up. Yeah, you know brisket Potato salad. Yeah, yeah the whole fuck done What's next with my little brother Brad? Sorry about that. Yeah, what's next with my little brother Brad Williams?

Well, I mean you can hear me every week on my podcast called the about last night podcast We do that with adam rey Uh, great great comedy story comic fun guy. Good. Good. Good, dude We just we I came here from sony studios. We that's what they said. Yeah, we talked to paul feig and uh Yeah, so he's a guest on the podcast And uh, oh wow look at that photo school. Yeah, look at those pickles. You know how bad your thoughts are 10 hours later You cup them in your hand and smell those pickles right in your palm of your hand And then uh, September I got a movie coming out on netflix with christopher guest

He made a new movie called mascots that i'm that I got a part in so uh, yeah Check that out on check that out on netflix and go to my website Go to my twitter all that jazz see when i'm see when i'm coming to your town And I got a special that they're running on showtime right now called, uh, brad william's daddy issues It's my second special watch it. Enjoy it and uh get back to me and let me know if you liked it or not It's always a pleasure to see a fucking dude who works hard I wouldn't add john if I told you one of these okie doke motherfuckers never my friend never I know that you you went into this head first

Yeah No pun intended Trust me you bet motherfucking but that's We gotta do this shit. Yeah, and we don't want people to know sometimes that you know It's not easy. This is not a fucking like anything else in life when you want to be a fucking Engineer or a fucking doctor. It's not easy. So We do what the fuck we do, but i'm just happy you're still kicking these motherfuckers asses You didn't tap out after the show a lot of comics like fuck i'm taking my show and i'm leaving

I did my job not you ever you're getting stronger by the day doing movies with christopher guest. Are you kidding me? Yeah, well what you know why because he made a decision. That's fucking why Thanks, man. You got me in the church always, baby. You're gonna get high this time next time. We'll get you stoned to the gills Let's be honest most of your problems start with your mind, okay All your fears angers all that shit depression sleeplessness is starting your mind But it could go the other way too, okay? They'll all be getting your head, but they can wreck your life But it doesn't have to be that way you can make a major difference in just 10 minutes a day This change comes through guided meditation with the new headspace app headspace is a meditation made simple

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The pill ain't the answer Trust me i'm telling you download this. It's free. Give it 10 days. I guarantee you're gonna feel a lot better What the fuck you're feeling now go to headspace.com slash joey There it is Also to my favorite people in the world on it They got some stuff that's out of stock. That's tremendous the green stuff the green food They're still fucking out of stock

But I'll tell you what they do have The hero elite series is coming on kettle bells So if you hit the kettle bells and captain marvel and flying through the fucking air On it is for you beside that, you know me alpha brain shroom tech mct oil mct oil I'm telling you guys if you're fucking not on it you're skipping out on life But i'm not gonna fucking tell you read it on yourself Go to honor.com right now right now go to supplement page

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You don't wake up like a vietnam bet in the middle of the night Go to honor.com right now slash joey cocks up slash church. I'm sorry. I fucked up Anyway, I want to thank headspace.com And I also want to thank honor for sponsors and I want to thank my main man Brad williams all grown up and doing a town. Look at you. Talk suck. Thank you. So every time I talk to you That's why I feel like you're tommy You're tommy and your fellas. What time you don't don't don't say nothing anyway You got plans in boston. That's it. You're happy just to see mommy. I'll pick up a little envelope family

Well, who else are you gonna see? I have uh, just aunts and uncles cousins. I haven't seen since I've been out here Do a little get together. Yeah, my mom is real excited. She's a luncheon. She's super excited All right, we'll be safe and I'll see you one day at eight o'clock motherfucker Hell yeah rocks. I don't want to hear no stories. I'm stabbing. No, I'm doing your thing first flight I'm doing the 645 out of boston like a soldier. Yeah, buddy bad motherfucker All right, I love you guys stay black. Have a great weekend. We'll see you next week. Happy june motherfuckers. I'll be in uh Omaha, Nebraska next week at the funny bone then two weeks after that a calling for me Fuck yeah, and then two weeks after that. I will be at philadelphia helium

June 25th for some shit like that go on the calendar and get tickets there. You fucking savages and go to lisa.com Like all the other podcast I do with steve like with steve simone and everything I have is there. All right, stay black Have a great weekend. I love you motherfuckers This show was brought to you by headspace Go to headspace.com slash joey right now and download the free headspace app To begin their take 10 program for 10 days of guided meditation at headspace.com slash joey So go to headspace.com slash joey right now and download the free headspace app

And begin the take take 10 Program for 10 days of guided meditation Shows also brought to you by onna.com Go to onna.com and use code word church to save 10 on all of their great optimization products like alpha brain new moods from taking me in and from tech sport Ah To live the dreams we've always had And all of the songs to sing

But we had lost the track yet Stuck in all the cleansing heels To those who claim they know The streets have seen the years Devils in this hole Want to sail away A sandy land on a day Want to trust the dream

Eyes inside have never seen it To the sun, the South, the North And lies the clouds, the moon Stacked in all the tears Want to sail away A sandy land on a day Want to trust the dream Eyes inside have never seen it

To the sun, the South, the North And lies the clouds, the moon Shackles of commitment fell, the pieces on the ground Wants to writhe the wind, dread the end of the day Wants to laugh the loud, dance the night, watch the crowd dance See the man who's pointing hand, the giant stubborn foes The night is falling, curving back, the germs are free to stop If one bell should ring, a celebration for a game

As the last of all it should be, as proud the heaven, heaven beats it Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh let them One with a ring, one with a ring One place to rest is served

The mighty arms of battles On the heavens above the Earth The mighty arms of battles On the heavens above the Earth Above the Earth Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh version Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Ah, ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,