Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #390 - Nic Gregoriades

Episode Date: June 20, 2016

Nicolas Gregoriades, a South African jiu jitsu black belt under Roger Gracie and creator of jiujitsubrotherhood.com, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: �� Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first three meals free and free shipping!   Datsusara: Go to DSgear.com and check out all of their great products, like gi's and rash guards, that are made with high quality hemp textiles. Use code Joey to get 5% off of your order.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 06/19/2016

This show is brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping. You go to blueapron.com slash joey. You'll love how good it feels and tastes to create incredible meals at home with Blue Apron. So don't wait. That's blueapron.com slash joey to get your first three meals

for free, and they give you free shipping as well. The show is also brought to you by Datsuzara. Go to dsgear.com for extremely high quality, functional gear made with hemp textiles. And they make bags, skis, rash guards, and more. When you go to dsgear.com, use Colbert Joey to get 5% off of your order. And you go to onit.com and use Colbert Church.

You're going to get 10% off all of their great optimization products, like Alphabrain, Numu, Shroom Tech, Mune, and Shroom Tech Sport. It's Colbert Church to get 10% off. Oh, shit. Sunday night. Monday morning. Well, I'm packing up my game and I'm ahead out west with real

women come equipped with scripts and fake press. That's right, cops suckers. It's a church of what's happening now. What's the date tomorrow? I don't even know what the date is. 20th. The 20th. Tomorrow already.

Shit. June 20th, 2016. You're still sitting there, waiting to get hit in the head with a fucking meteor. But it don't matter. DJ fucking Lee fucking it up. Turn the music on too fucking early. He's about to explode and you lower the fucking music down.

What am I going to do with you? Oh, I thought you said turn it down. No, no. Forget about it. Don't worry about nothing. Forget about the start. You're fucked up already. I'll leave you two days alone.

Three days. Two days. I had 850 right now. No, you didn't have 850. I told you you got to keep it above 800, 900 every day. Every day. I had 300. What are you talking about?

Yeah, I got 600 milligrams. It's all in 600. There's nothing happening to you. It's beautiful. It took you 11 o'clock and you were like tip top. You were in training. Yeah, you think so. You woke me up at 11.

I had passed the hell out. You passed out already? A little bit. Because we'll move from living them to the bedroom and as soon as I hit the bed, I'm done. Like we turned on another OJ and I fell asleep immediately. Jesus Christ. Those stars are fucking strong, man.

600 milligrams. But it's, what else do you want to do? Happy belated father's day. A happy father's day. I had a great father's day today. I babysat. She was fucking tremendous. The fucking heat, you know, 112 degrees in the car.

But it don't matter. All that shit's nonsense. My main man is in the studio. I'm really happy you're in here, man. I learned so much from the videos. Professor Nick Grigoriadis. Grigoriadis. We'll work on it.

You know what I'm saying? I didn't want to fuck it up. Thank you for coming on tonight. I know that you travel extensively. You're not the buddy you're waiting for. He does documentaries. That's the guy that's coming on Thursday. The guy that's coming.

No, that's just a friend I met in Thailand. Oh, I thought it was the guy that does the documentaries. Because he hit me up about a month ago. Stuart Cooper? Yeah. He'd be here the end of the month. Oh, really? Who knows.

Yeah, I didn't know that. Who the hell is he? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd be here the end of the month. Oh, really? Who knows?

Yeah, I didn't know that. Who the hell knows? He's shooting documentaries all over the goddamn world. He's a cool guy. Yeah, yeah, he is a cool dude. It's one of the main reasons I got turned on to you, like I said, was because when I started jujitsu, I would go online at night, and I found a couple guys that were really... I found some guys that were just terrible on there.

But the guys who caught my attention were like Matt Baker and yourself. Your accent was fucking tremendous. I really dug it. I dug how you did the moves. You were very informative to the newbie, where everybody else had overcome that. I don't know if you had made your videos for that reason, or if you just made them like that to give that much information compared to what everybody else was giving on that. It's like the basic three move thing you have from the closed guard.

I don't want to confuse people at home, but the thing that really got me, the reason why I enjoyed jujitsu as much as I do is because of the name for your web page, which is bjjbrotherhood.com. Yeah, jujitsubrotherhood.com. And it's why I found it in BJJ. I love you either way. It's just so weird that I've spoken to people about my goals with jujitsu, and I told you, Professor, when you first walked in, I said, jujitsu made me realize how many holes I had in my game as a human being.

Never mind as a fucking jujitsu guy, just as a human being. If you were not able to fucking do a hip escape, it's time to fucking get one of those carts and drive down and just keep drinking big slushes and people throw fucking donuts in your mouth, or you got to get in shape. You got to do something. When I first walked into over here, I was 340, some guy had me on testosterone, which there's no reason to. He was like, yeah, we'll give you testosterone, you'll burn through the fucking weight.

No, I was going home at night, eating the fucking refrigerator. I'm starving. Then I went in there, and then I was in DC, and I got a headache, and I had too many red blood cells. So I stopped all that fucking nonsense, which never did shit anyway, and that don't work on Cuban people. It doesn't. He had two clients in his whole life because this has happened, and my acupuncturist told

me, she goes, you're Cuban, you don't need this. You knock your wife up at 49, you don't need no fucking testosterone. Your testosterone levels are not low at all. But it fucked me up how I had done karate from the age of six. I joined Kung Fu later on, then I got in trouble. I still lifted weights. I still did all these things. I joined the master swim program for two years.

I would swim three times a week, and I walked in there, and I could swim, but I didn't know how to breathe under water. There's a timing to it, the whole, with the breaststroke, and there's one with the overhead, whatever you call the one, excuse me, and what the fuck was he talking about? Well, I think that's the interesting part about people like Dr. Belize, because breathing is so crucial to everything. It's crucial to every athletic or just living thing you do. But that was the main video that got me.

Yeah. Just to get on your side. Yeah, man. I mean, look, there's something that I was taught, which is that, man, your whole state anywhere, like when you're sitting doing a podcast, when you're doing jiu-jitsu, when you're giving a speech, when you're standing in line at the supermarket, your whole state is always determined by your breathing. If you're breathing smoothly and evenly, then you calm and you're zen, and you're in the

moment, and you're relaxed. But if you're taking short, cellar breaths, you're fucked, basically. You get afraid and nervous, and there's tension in your body. It just made sense to me, if that's the way it is in everything in life. It's especially going to be like that in jiu-jitsu, and you watch all the top jiu-jitsu guys. I mean, I'm sure you've seen it now. When you go to the academy, the good guys at the end of a sparring session, they're not like cuffing and puffing and panting.

They're still pretty relaxed because their breathing is under control. Do you agree? Have you seen that? Yes, absolutely. So, I mean, yeah. And then if you can carry that over, if you can learn to do that while some dude's trying to strangle you, then it's going to be really easy to do it when the bartender gives you the wrong amount of change or gives you a dirty look.

And instead of getting that response of like, you hold your breath and you get tense and angry, you can just be like, hey, this is nothing compared to when that dude was trying to break my arm, and I just relaxed and controlled my breathing. Does that make sense? Yes, no, no. That's cool. Well, can I ask a question? Sure.

For the breathing thing? Because I noticed that too, that very high level guys are just, it's almost like they're like relaxed in there. As someone who is bigger doing it, is it possible to not have that breathing while still being overweight? Or is that something that Joey has to do is lose the weight? Oh, no, that's definitely. Well, I know you have to do it, but could he, could you get to the place where you wouldn't

be breathing heavy even if you still had the weight on? Yeah, I think so. I mean, look at Buddha, man. Like think of every picture you've seen of Buddha, right? Like he's a guy with a big belly, right? And he was fucking doing, sitting in lotus position, breathing and meditating. So he obviously pulled it off, so obviously it can be done. I mean, Joey's breathing, you're breathing, I'm breathing, we can all do it.

So I would say the answer to that is definitely yes. Yeah. I realized how much I wasn't breathing when I first started, and I realize now when I first had the sleep apnea on my skin color, it turned into people like your skin color was changing because you're not breathing. You're not fucking breathing. Even now with the sleep apnea machine, you think about it, I have the mouth mask. That's why I want to switch to the nose thing, because then I'll be able to free breathe.

But I'm just blowing that air out, and then I'm getting in half of the air from the tube and half the air, I blew it up. Geez. Oh yeah, sounds good. So when did you figure out you had sleep apnea? 2000, probably, 2001, man. And so now you're using machine? Yes, sir.

And it helps? It's a fucking drug. It covers, it's a mask. It covers what's going on. What happens if there's a fucking heat wave tonight? We have no electricity. I don't sleep. There's always that fear.

I could fall asleep now. I lost, when I first got diagnosed to now, that was 110 pounds ago, so I've lost a significant amount of weight just doing exercises, and my breathing, I fall asleep in chairs now. I could fall asleep on a plane if I had to, you know what I'm saying, a plane is tough because there's less air. Yeah, I don't like, in fact, I constantly fall on a plane, I hate it. It's really weird for some people, it's weird for me too, you keep gagging and shit. But I could sleep in a hotel room if I set the pillows up correctly, and I could fall

asleep. Not an effective eight, but I'll get four and maybe twice, take an hour, and just, it's something that I should be working on. You know what I'm going to do here during this trip to LA? I'm going to go to a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, have you heard about this? Yes, sir. I've never done it before, but apparently, could you breathe in almost pure oxygen, right?

Apparently, it helps with healing and helps regenerate lung tissue and a whole bunch of other cool stuff. I mean, I don't know if it's true, but man, I want to try it out, like this is the place to try something like that. All that stuff is available in South LA, I mean, in what do you call it, Southern California area. Somebody recently said that this is the best area for Jiu-Jitsu in the world right now. Yes, I mean, this is the mecca, right, I guess.

It used to be Brazil, but all the best Brazilian guys are in Los Angeles or San Diego now, so it's definitely a good place to come, yes. If you don't mind me giving a shout out to my friend, Tim Peterson, he is, I'm going to try to get you down to his school one day. He's such an amazing Jiu-Jitsu teacher. He's in Venice, you said. He's in West LA, I wish I knew the name of the area better, but I just used to get an Uber there, so I don't know where I am most of the time, just like take me to this place.

You'll meet him, he's very interesting, and again, he ties everything together as well. It's all about movement and breathing, and it's not just learning the moves, right? It's all tied together. All tied together. Yeah, yeah. At first when I was learning moves, the problem was I was learning moves, drilling them twice, and then they were putting so much information in your head, what, Albertos, you know, you drill two moves for 30 minutes, and by the time you drill those, you've worked up a sweat.

You've got your breathing going. And you remember them, right? And you remember them when you're getting jams. I also go to the drill class the other day at 11, and I do everything there on my back just to get more comfortable. I don't get on top there, nothing. Everything I want to do there is on my back, whether it's an armbar or a triangle. I'm not good at alma pladas yet, I can't pull that off, but I like sweeping from there,

like collar chokes. I like all that stuff, stuff that's high percentage, I don't have to fucking fly through the air. Because at the end, that's what's going to get you out of a jam. So yeah, I'm not going to lie, man. As I said to you before we started recording, I said to my business partner, I said, hey, I'm going to be going and enjoy the show. And he was like, yeah, that's cool.

I hear he's obsessed with jiu-jitsu now, and I was like, are you serious? Oh my god. So it's cool. I go home at night, I stretch. You know, I have a BJJ thing, I log the moves I learn, I cover my mat time. I tell you what, I'm obsessed with it because finally I found something that could take my mind away from the bullshit economy. You know what I'm saying?

No, not really. But anyway, you got into jiu-jitsu, you loved it. You didn't fucking know. You became a blue belt. You went to a couple of competitions, you became a purple belt. You won some more. They took you to Brazil. I don't know what your background is, so I'm just making this up.

And all of a sudden, all of a sudden you went to Brazil and you're the first English, whatever, with a black belt, so you go back to England and you open up 16 schools, and you knock your wife up and now you have these 16 great schools, you're one of the best jiu-jitsu guys in the world. But the guy in whatever side is robbing you, the other guy's doing this, this guy's doing this, this guy's stealing your moves. This wasn't what you signed up for. I think I understand what you mean.

Even though you're making some money. Yeah, yeah. This is not what you signed up for. You know, I signed up for comedy when I read Lenny Bruce's book, how he would go back to the Chelsea Hotel, you know, and hook up with strippers and eat ass and fucking shoot heroin and smoke dope with jazz musicians. That was what I bought into, you know. That was the point of my life where I wanted to be.

I was pretty happy if I just got decent at this. But I learned the work that you have to put into this, how you have to be consistent, you know what I'm saying? So when I see you guys on the mat, I have the most respect because I knew you put that time into this thing. But then along the line, it becomes somewhere else. You still love your jitsu, but you're frustrated with everything else. Yeah, yeah.

If it was up to you, you'd fucking burn down the other 14 schools, open one up in your fucking garage and close it when the class is up to 10 people. Charge $7 or admission, put whatever you can in the hat. That's jiu-jitsu. It becomes something else, and that's what comedy becomes. I think my question for you is, do you think everything becomes that? So let's say you want to be a painter, and you can tell a story about a guy who started painting and the same thing happened to him.

Eventually one day he's got a studio and people are paying him $1,000 to paint stuff, and he's got a gallery, and he's got a business, and he just wishes he was back in his fucking studio apartment sketching stuff and painting stuff that he liked to paint. I mean, do you think this happens with everything? Oh my God. At some point, you're like, why couldn't we just keep that one fucking store downstairs and make little fucking pills and send them out to our friends and then everybody would have been happy.

You know, I'm just saying, I mean, at some point, you know, there's an episode, do you ever watch vinyl? I don't, man. Okay, vinyl. There's one episode where the wife to the record, he promises her money, but then he's tied on money, so Andy Warhol drew a picture over, took a picture over. I don't want to say the wrong thing, so she takes it back, and he goes, what do you want me to do?

And she goes, I need for you to sign it. He goes, the only reason why you would sign it is if you're looking to sell it or whatever. And then she has to explain that she promised this benefit that she was going to donate $20,000 and blah, blah, blah, blah, and I was thinking at that moment, I would feel complimented, but at the same time kind of fucked up because I was looking at Professor Nick one day and I saw him do this armbar, and in my mind, I wanted to draw it for him. And I drew him in his blue gi with the people on the back and he put it up on his wall and then one day you come to me, you got to fucking sell it.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I get it. That's not the part of the business I signed up for. I found your beauty in that picture. Now you want to fucking sell it. So I think every angle at one part gets faster. Sooner or later it turns into some, yeah, I mean my business partner is, he's a doctor and he went into medicine, he told me because he liked helping people and he wanted to make

a difference, right? Which always blows my mind because how many fucking people are that good, right? How many? Very few. So I've never been that unselfish in my whole life. So it always impresses me when he tells me that. And then he said, towards the end of it, like he just, he was just burnt out on the whole thing.

He saw an aside of it that it wasn't what he signed up for. Just like you said, it wasn't what he signed up for. And he's had to step away from it, you know, and now he's teaching Jiu-Jitsu. So it's like, I completely understand, I now understand what you mean. And for me with Jiu-Jitsu, sometimes it gets like that, man. Sometimes I'm just like, ah, dude, do I really, in this aspect of it that I just don't enjoy, like I don't really enjoy the competition scene and I don't enjoy the fact that everyone's always trying to kick the shit out of you all the time to prove themselves.

But at the end of the day, man, it's given me a great life and it's allowed me to meet amazing people and I can't complain. You know what I mean? Can you travel all over the world doing Jiu-Jitsu? Yeah, yeah, man. Jiu-Jitsu and seminars the whole day. Yeah, man. It's a fucking, every day, man, every single day I give thanks because it could have gone,

my life could have gone in many different directions and I'm very happy it went in this one. If I was a music industry executive or a doctor or a stockbroker, I'd have another set of problems. Everything comes with fucking problems, right? I'm happy that I can deal with the Jiu-Jitsu ones. The secret is minimizing the problems. Like when you go in, you're like, this is going to be a problem, but we'll let this

be a problem and everything else will shut down. Yeah, but you don't, I didn't know, I had no idea what the problems would be when I was going in. Do you know what I mean? I had no idea that, hey, like I wanted a black belt and I wanted a black belt so fucking bad, right? I had no idea that when you get the black belt, then you got this big target on your back, right?

I couldn't see that problem, maybe because I was naive or something, but I couldn't see that. So, I think it takes a certain amount of experience to get to the point where you can see the problems ahead of you. Now I'm a bit older and I'm a bit more patient with things and I can think ahead a little bit more, but man, as a 22-year-old kid, you just, I personally wasn't thinking like that. When made you walk into his school the first time and you started where?

I started, I was doing some, some no-gey stuff in South Africa and I did judo when I was a kid, so I really, I could do like grappling, you know, like I knew quite a bit about it, but then I was leaving South Africa because I was, I was kind of bored of it to be honest and I knew I had to go, you know, you want to go to a bigger pond type thing, you know, and I had a buddy who I trained with in South Africa and I messaged him saying, have you found any cool academies and he said, yeah, I found this place called, I trained at Roger Gracie Academy, it's really cool, you should come check it out and so I just, I just pitched up at Roger's Academy one day and knocked on the door and he opened the door, like this

was back when it was, before Jiu-Jitsu had even really taken off to the level it's taken off now. And I was like, this is cool, the dude's opening the door of his own gym and he's standing there in his suit and like, this is pretty cool, like, and then I went and trained with him that, that very afternoon, you know, it's like, it was just a really cool sequence of events, you know, I could have, nowadays that's never going to happen, you're not going to go and sign up at Hicks and Gracie's gym in Torrance and in 10 minutes you're going to be sparring with him, that's just not going to happen.

So it was a very lucky and cool thing for me and yeah, I'm very thankful for that. And you stuck it with, that's day one, you've been with Roger? Yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't, I'm not in England all the time now and I've got my own organization now, so I'm not, but I still consider him my coach and whenever I go back to England, I go to his academy and train with him. No, I'm saying at that time, you walked in there and wiped out and you stayed there to get black for how long? That was like four and a half years, I think, yeah, four and a half years.

But I mean, I was coming from a level of grappling, you know, I really knew how to, how to wrestle a little bit and I'd done some judo. So I wasn't like a complete newbie, you know what I mean? Right, me and myself only. You mentioned that you did judo, I hear a lot of people in doing judo now, which to me, I can see where if you're doing MMA, that would be useful. But if you're doing jiu-jitsu, it seems like it's totally opposite, but maybe it's not. Maybe I just don't know judo.

No, judo and jiu-jitsu are almost exactly the same. They have the same route, which is Japanese jiu-jitsu and judo in its current form just focuses more on the stand-up aspect of the fight. So it's more about throwing your opponent and pinning him, whereas jiu-jitsu focuses more on the ground aspect, which is controlling the opponent on the ground and trying to make him submit. But there's a lot of overlap, like a high level jiu-jitsu guy will be decent at judo and a high level judo guy will have a little bit of jiu-jitsu knowledge as well.

So there's a lot of overlap. How much do you, as a martial artist now, focus on, like, have to focus on a lot of different styles? Like, could you be as successful if you just did jiu-jitsu? Or does it help you to learn judo and to learn any other martial arts you do? Yeah, that's a good question, Lee. If I did, I mean, I don't compete as much as I used to. I did maybe one tournament a year.

And if I was competing, I would definitely want to go do a judo class because the fight starts standing up. So you want to be able to throw the guy properly, you know? Or if I was doing MMA, then damn, like, I'm definitely going to want to learn how to box or do Muay Thai or something like that. But, uh, man, I'm just, I'm getting a little bit older now. And I only really have the energy to do, to focus on one thing. So I choose jiu-jitsu.

Okay. I mean, do you, have you ever thought about that, Joey, about going to a judo class or fuck, no, fuck, no, those people throw you up in the fucking ass. No, no, no, no. And there's a pretty good joint down here down in, uh, in downtown LA over here. There's a fucking joint down here. The Japanese Cultural Center, they're very cheap. They have like two or three classes a day a week.

Maybe, you know, you got to come in there. No, dawg, I'm 53 years old. You break them bones. You don't recover from that shit. Next thing you know, I'm in a fucking school. That's a 20 year old's to suck it in. You know, you absorb it. Your body learns to absorb it five, six, seven years.

Then when you're in your thirties, forties and fifties, it's a little lighter, you know, the, not to do the Gucci and the flying fucking dragon roll. You can't do that shit, but you could still keep a very basic, you know, it's just, uh. Yeah, man. I mean, even judo for me, man, like I used to teach jiu-jitsu at a judo club in London called the Buddha quiet, which is one of the biggest judo clubs in Europe. And every single one of those guys, the judo players, I used to hang out with them and we'd see each other in the changing room at the bar across the street after

the classes and stuff. Every single one of those guys either had a jacked up knee or a jacked up shoulder. Every single one. And I just realized one day, man, it's not the risk to reward ratio for judo is. I just don't want to do it. Pull the fucking guard. That's it. Pull the fucking guard.

You're going to sit there, push him back and forth. Oh, they hit my feet, but your feet, which drives me crazy already. They're touching me with those fucking feet, those hoops, but. Do you ever do that? Do you ever make people laugh, Joey, just to like throw them off? Oh, I tell people all the time, don't even think about that album. Don't even go for that. Kamara Cox set down and they giggle their asses off because it takes my mind off the pressure.

You know, it really does. At first I was going in on my heart's beating and right there, you're already lost. Your adrenaline's already up and your body already needs oxygen. I'm half out of breath. I didn't even done nothing. But at the time, the guy would grab my lapel. My heart rate would be fucking one over 60.

And it's like you saying your webpage is just breathing and controlling yourself clears the mind and now it lets you attack and, and, and, you know, do whatever move you intend to do in a defense or whatever the fuck it is. And I don't know where I lost it. But to answer your question, for me, Jiu-Jitsu from day one has always been about adding balance to my life, especially now. You know, right now I have every conversation. If I wanted to be, could be about fucking comedy with my wife, even with the fucking

baby, you know, end up in fucking a podcast with Lee when I talked to Rogan, when I talked to Ari. So I've always liked to have something else. And that, for me, balances it. Because when I go to the comic store, everyone wants to take a picture. Everybody wants to ask a question. Everybody wants to smoke pot. And I get it when you're a fucking fat white belt, you're a fat white belt.

Yeah. And you know your place, professor. You go in the corner, you do each hand and the stronger you get, you move to the middle, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And that's how I feel. If I went to the comedy store and I'd be like, what the fuck is going on? But I'd be in the corner, but don't look at me shivering.

Um, and I'm, man, I want to find something as well for me that is to me, what jujitsu is to you, you know what I mean? And I'm always looking because, uh, balance as well. I see it's a strange thing. I noticed with jujitsu guys, especially they get a lot of them get their lives way out of whack. They're like, I've got to train six days a week and they eat, sleep, breathe, shit, jujitsu, which is beautiful, which is cool.

But you cannot sustain that indefinitely because sooner or later you burn out. If you do anything like that, anything stock, broken, drug dealing, jujitsu, whatever the fuck it is, if you put so much of yourself into something at that level, it, it's not going to be forever. It just can't like, you just can't do that, or at least I can't, and I haven't found any examples of people who just carry on from the age of 20 to the age of 60, doing the same thing without at least getting a little bit bored of it or a little bit burnt out of it.

I mean, if you can think of an example, please share with me. I try early on, you see the people who, Lee, guess what? I'm doing one day I'm going to die. Great. And all of a sudden six weeks later, I see Lee and he's drinking water and he's got a headband on. He's running down the fucking street. He's lost all this weight.

I call Lee two weeks later, they go get pizza. He's still on the fucking thing. This kick goes on for about six months. He goes, he's drinking those kale shakes. He's going to fucking a therapist for whatever. And you just get so absorbed with something that one day you twist an ankle. And now let you go back into another realm. And do you ever go back to set?

Yeah, but now you see things from a different picture. That's what happens. You know, I didn't, my wife was pregnant. I like going to the YMCA, but I was kind of looking for something. I was kind of looking for something. I was kind of looking to go somewhere and where for one hour, I didn't have to talk about fucking counting. All right, I could just talk about that on bar or that fucking sweep.

That's amazing. How you do that fucking crowbar sweep. Unbelievable. Can I learn that? Sure, man. And next, you know, people on top of you talking to you, they're sweating on top of you and for one hour, you forget that, you know, this guy wants to take a fucking picture with you.

All you want to do is just exercise. Yeah. So for me, that was the outlet. Sometimes I'm thinking about a joke and I can't settle the joke. I go to Jitsu for an hour. By the time I come back, the joke is written. Because it took my mind off that for one hour. I don't take a cell phone into Jiu-Jitsu.

I do not do that. I went, you know, I came up on a martial arts system when I was six, that the guy walked around with a fucking stick. You didn't talk. There was no giggling. If you giggled at the fact kid that hit you with the stick, that hit the other guy with the stick, you know, I mean, I came from that shit. That shit would not go over.

You walking in there with a cell phone and talking loud. And you people even talk to each other at that school. They just went in there, but I learned a lot. There was a different style of learning. So I take it very serious, my Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah. And those guys help me on. There's a 67 year old purple belt man.

I watch him. I watch his training. If it was up to me, I go on there six days a week, but I'll tell you what, I work on my feet. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I work on my feet and I work Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

So I know for my feet, my weight and my age, the recuperation, I could probably hit three a week. So what I do is if I could hit Monday and Wednesday in town, I'm on the road. If you're somewhere I'll go, but if not, I'll just do, I'll just work out at the hotel, but that's what you Jiu-Jitsu did to me. It made me look at things from a different perspective, which made me even healthier, even the breathing, just blowing out all the air in your lungs, you know, instead of sitting in the fucking bottom of your stomach.

I mean, all these things I learned in three years that I'm in shock, in fucking shock. Good for you, Joey, man. I just want, one thing I want to ask you, you don't, you don't like talking about comedy too much, but, um, you know, with Jiu-Jitsu, you don't, no matter how pissed off I am or jaded or skeptical I am about the, the industry and the community and like, you know, if I'm on Facebook and every single thing that pops up on my Facebook is a story about Jiu-Jitsu or whatever, like, no matter

how bored or burnt out I am on it, if I go and do a session, like, uh, or just have a sparring session with someone at the end of it, I always feel better. And I'm guessing I'm asking you the question, uh, I know you, you sometimes get like jaded on the industry, the comedy industry as well. Do you find that at the end of your comedy set, like once you walk off stage, you were glad you did it. Like you enjoyed it. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. Listen, it's, if I would have known what I know now, I would have kept my fucking day job. No. Fuck. Yeah. I would have kept my fucking day job. All right.

And I would have got three or four nights of comedy, like your dad did in Boston. Now, cause here, here's the thing. Sometimes I miss the, like riding the subway, but then when I go home and I ride the subway, I miss having a car. Right. I think, I think if you had a job for 20 years, being a rule free, but like, fuck, I wish I could have been, I just thought that comedy was something different guys. So if you're asking me right now, I would have got a little part time job.

I would promote it four nights. I would have done like a steakhouse on the host and MC. We would have done two movies over the 20 minutes. And I would have been satisfied with that, but I don't know. I don't know why I think that, and I'm not jaded at all, not by any means. What I'm saying is that I thought it was something different. You know, I thought that we were a little tighter. I thought that, but I mean, look, man, if you don't want to talk about this,

I understand. But when you say, I thought we were a little tighter, is this, are you saying like comedy guys have kind of stabbed you in the back? Or is it no, no, no, not at all. I'm talking about in a sense of just, not even the Rogan thing at the store, just little things like the people that I hang out with, we have a brotherhood. What does that mean? If somebody calls me and says, I have a fall on Tuscaloosa, it pays 1500 bucks.

I give him your name. And if he goes, well, I don't like that, I'll give him Lee's name. So at least we keep it in the family. You know, I have that network that's always helped me. That's, that's what's kept me here, that little network. I thought it was just going to be a little deeper. Let me give you an example. For years through the podcast, people knew that I was working out.

Beside Daniel Lyon, maybe three people reached out to say, Hey, man, if you need for me to work with you, it was great. It really like one guy was too far away. Daniel Lyon sent me a book with Jiu Jitsu before I got on the plane every week. I get hit from three different schools and they say, come on, can we teach you a move or I bump into people on the street and they're like, Hey, man, I'm a brand bout in this academy. I heard John the podcast.

I can make you a world champion. I'll help you breathe. I got three moves for you. So for me, the brotherhood thing really sticks out a little more. Once I got involved with Jiu Jitsu, I can't believe how many people go out of their way, you know, to teach me a move or come over to me and say, Hey, man, we heard you say this about breathing. Try this guy.

Yeah, that's cool. That's really cool. I'm, I always say, you know, I can, and I don't say it to brag. I just said, because it's such a cool thing and I'm so excited about it, but I can go pretty much anywhere, man, any city, any major city in the world. I'll just send them a message saying, Hey, my name's Nick. I train here. Can I drop in?

And 99% of them are like, cool. And I get there. I might spend a week there. And at the end of that week, I've got like 10 new friends, you know, and these guys, some of them become like, like brothers. No, no, they start showing up at your doorstep. Yeah, yeah. You start meeting them in Bangkok.

It's fucking tremendous. It's amazing, man. Like, uh, man, I, I, it's, it's the network that jujitsu has, has helped me with is unbelievable. Like just tomorrow I'm going for lunch with a guy from London who is high up music industry executive at Sony music, like, like higher guy, right? Man, I would never meet someone like that in my regular life. It's jujitsu that connected us.

And he's like, Hey, I'm in LA as well. You're in LA. Let's, let's go for a meal kind of thing. You know, and that's, I just find so cool and that happens all the time. Um, so yeah, I already do appreciate that camaraderie in the jujitsu community. It's, it's one of the best things about it. Definitely. I go to Jersey sometimes.

I'll tell you the first year, maybe the first 18 months, every time I walk into a place, I was to tell Leah, I used to write my will. I would hug the cats because I thought I was going to fucking die, you know. And I remember walking into a place in Jersey one time and my fucking heart stopped and like, even the girls were tough. Like there was three girls and they were fucking tough. And the guy came over, what do you do? All right.

Yeah. Jumping and it was just a passing drills. Holy shit. I went flying through the fucking, I just kept flying. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. And it was a deep half. They were doing to me. They were just deep half of me.

They let me pass in the half car and just fucking throw me up in the air. I was like, wow, I got to learn this. That goes, come by tomorrow at 12. Who are you here? He goes, I'm going to be here anyway. Somebody will be here. Yeah. We'll teach you to, I got there.

We offer them dumb neck, nothing, nothing. Just come back to class, man. Every time you're in town, that's it makes that promise. I'm going back with my family. That's not going to class again. You know, and I got a home there. If I go to Jersey, it's just, I don't know. It's real, man.

It's real. Like that's the one thing I appreciate most about Jiu-Jitsu is like, man, you are fucking wrestling with that dude and he's trying to strangle you and you're trying to strangle him. But at the end of it, you go get a beer or whatever. Like, and it's, there's no like scheming and dealing and kind of, there's none of that shit, bro. And I really appreciate that.

I really appreciate that. There's a kid that was training there for two weeks, big guy, fucking youngly, you know, two 45, two 50, not muscle muscular, but just a big guy. He has a night job. You know, the first two days it was fun. After that, I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, I had a row with this animal again. And it's weird that, uh, when I was on the road, he's been hitting the classics as he doesn't know his schedule, but he's been going for arm bars lately.

And he fucking almost has me all the time. I just pull out real fast and I flip him over the whole thing. And I can see it gets frustrating the other day we bowed out and I'm walking and I look at him and I go, Mark, come here. Get on your fucking back. And we just started from one, just drilling. I go, what you're not doing is what the professor told me, you're not lifting that knee up so he can't pull his arm up.

Oh yeah, to drop the shoulder. Just drop your shoulder. Yeah. So I remember you, just even the, the thing that really put me over with your arm bar was the hip movement up. I wasn't doing that. Your problems are bridging up and then so we drilled that and he kept looking at me like, oh, weird.

And he's like, really? I go, yeah, you're not, you're strong in a boat. You got me. You got me. You, the fucking foot comes over. He's like a size 19 foot. He's one of those fucking guys, you know, you see the foot dropping. You're like, oh my God.

How much of you didn't want to tell him how to do it? No, you have to. Because I kept passing him and just laying on him on a, you know, that's it. It's not going to keep, it's going to keep doing it. And then by you, by you showing him that, like he learns and you learn as well by teaching it, it reinforces it for you. And that's, oh man, it's just such a cool thing. That's the shit.

When people say, get on top of me, you know, I'm, I'm the problem with a mount and they like, get on top of me. And it's the end of the class. I'm sweating fucking cheeseburgers and fucking french fries and fucking THC. This should hit you. Your skin turns colors right away. Right. And these guys let me sweat on them.

You know, at first it was like, what the fuck? And I'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm pleased. I'd be like, who gives a fuck? Yeah, yeah. Do the fucking move, do the move, twist the arm, go, go, then they'll tap and you're like, Jesus Christ, you let me do all this to you. You know, I'm a fucking gorilla. Look at my hands.

And they're like, this is part of the game. All that stuff kept me going back, even though I'm horrible at jiu-jitsu, these little things kept me going back because the guys are cheering for you. Everybody's cheering for you in that fucking room. A lot of times people come up to me and go, no, we're happy you're here. You just come in to see, just to see any, you know, you're an older guy. It's perfect. You inspire me.

So I dig it. It's my little fucking rhythm. Good for you, Matt. I'm ready. I'm happy to hear that. Uh, and as I said, I never, I never kind of pictured you as a jiu-jitsu guy, but I'm happier in the, in the brotherhood now. I was always a closet jiu-jitsu guy, okay, because here's the problem.

The worst thing is growing up somewhere and they have a soccer team. Okay. Okay. I'm from Jersey. So if we meet on the street, we're going to have a fucking, whatever. And you're going to go, so you like Springsteen? You're going to assume I'm the type of guy. The more you beat me up with Springsteen, every time I see him, I want to stab him.

Every time I hear him on your little big troller, I want to fucking blow like your house on fire. I really don't want to hear Springsteen. So you really don't, you really fucking don't. When you're from Jersey, I was there in 84. Everybody had on fucking born in the USA. How many fucking born in the USA can you hear before you snap? You know, when you're from a certain town in England, you have soccer teams, but

some people just don't like those fucking teams. And they don't get it. How, how the fuck are you not a New England fan? Right. Absolutely. So I moved to LA. I come from Cuba. I fucking do.

I joined Gosu Karate. Then I joined Oishinru Karate in New Jersey. I get like a purple belt. I go to a few competitions. I always take first for form. In those days, there was no contact. There was the body to the waist. That's it.

And then I stopped doing it. I got back into it when I was maybe 28. I did it in Colorado and I did it here when I moved here in the beginning, right there on Sunset Boulevard. My point being, I was always a flying through the air type of motherfucker. Then Joe Rogan and Eddie Brown will come into my life and they won't shut the fuck up. It's like a broken fucking record to both of them. Jiu-Jitsu sweeps.

I thought a sweep was when I hit your leg. In the seventies, a sweep was I faked. I faked high and then I took your leg on you and spin him backward. Oh, I did a spinning sweep where I dropped and my leg would take your front leg out. That's the seventies sweep. If you watch Kung Fu from the seventies, everybody was fucking sweeping it. I don't do sweeps no more. Is it Karate Kid 2 or he's got whole Karate Kid 1 sweep the leg?

Always. You got a sweep, but not that sweep. In the seventies, they spun sweep. So they'd set you up with the fucking high spinning back kick. They'd miss on purpose and they throw another high spinning back at you. And then they'd suck you in with the timing. Oh, yeah, I'm going to do this again. You move two inches in, you fucking you're heavy on your back foot.

I do the spin back. You go backwards or you charge. Once you charge, I'm getting one of those fucking legs. And it's coming at you the speed of fucking light. That was a sweep in the seventies. So these fucking momos are talking about sweep and on bars and Camaras. They wouldn't shut the fuck up and they would say, when are you going to come down? And I'm not because you guys won't shut the fuck up.

I don't want to end up like you two fucking idiots. You know, you travel with them. You're in the middle of the fucking, you know, a nice hotel and they bring home four fucking guys and in the middle of the living room with that. You know, I mean, you go into a hotel, there's a lounge with carpets. Yeah, yeah, they moved the fucking furniture and started jujitsu on each other. Down there with their shoes off. How embarrassing, grown men would need to walk away.

And just be embarrassed. Like, what's going on here? These are these are white people. You can't be doing this shit. You can't be fucking jujitsu in the lobby. One time they jujitsu in the lobby of the improv. And now this is fucking 12 years ago. This isn't just now when everybody thinks they're fucking black dragons.

I'm talking about this is when nobody was jujitsu. Then they got that kid, Danny Proctopus. Remember that kid? You know, Danny Proctopus is a friend of mine. OK, Danny Proctopus. I love my fucking heart. He's my nephew. I love him to death.

They might know that kid when he's 15. They were sneaking that poor kid into comedy shows in the middle of comedy shows. That kid always used to call him fucking Johnny Moves. Because in the middle, he let the adults talk and he go, I have a move. Watch, watch this. And also, he would do it to Eddie and Joe Rogan when they go, that's not going to work. And they'd start arguing. This is when he was a fucking kid.

That's how long I know fucking Danny was a great kid. And I'd sit there and go, these kids are fucking. They all shut the fuck up in my back of my heart. I would go, what are they going to take their cocks out and start sucking each other off? What's in for all? All barefoot here. Who takes their fucking shoes off in a fucking dining room area? Just take your dick out and start sucking each other off.

And then I would go to the planet and go, this ain't going to work. This is not going to work. Men sweating on me. People's feet. That comorra, I appreciate the comorra. But why is his asshole so close to my ear? That's not going to work in my world. Forget about it. That's how I was.

But then I saw it from a different perspective as like you get punched in the fucking head, my momentum coming on top of you. I'm pretty much done. If you're a brown belt and above, I saw it with Nate Diaz, I think. And I saw it with Joe Lozano, especially. He could be losing a fight and be that. But all of a sudden he's got the guy in a fucking armbar. To me, that was something out of this world.

I never saw nothing like that. And I kept seeing it and I was like a closet to get to that. I didn't I would watch the Nogi because of Eddie. Oh, yeah, that was something missing. And it would always be some gisha at the bottom. I started watching the gisha. And my cousin's a black belt in Jersey. His name is Julio Rodriguez.

He's a Santos out of Dallas. This is fucking black belt. Oh, OK. Something like that. So he would always talk to me about jujitsu. So I'd be like coast to coast. Like, oh, that's what I fucking hear about. It's fucking jujitsu. You know, we got you in the end, bro.

But yeah, I kept watching and watching and watching. I'd be scared shitless. I'd be scared shitless. I'm like, I don't know how these people do this shit. You know, and one day I just said, fuck it. Take a chance. Columbus did. And my wife was pregnant.

You know, I was about to have a kid and I wanted to be active when she was alive. And I wanted to be part of something. I want to go somewhere three times a week and just fucking chill out. You know what I'm saying? Hit it, dawg. Look at this. He's slipping again. There you go. Fucking hot out, Jack.

I want to be around. Sorry, man, my car is too. We've got to go. We've got to go. You got to go when somebody breaks. You want to get some air? No, I'm cool. You want some more water?

I'm totally fine. You want a mushroom? Sing it. Mushroom. I like a mushroom. I see the double. Mushrooms? Yeah, some mushrooms.

We got to have a liquid acid. You don't want to know. Jesus. We got a TAC and a tube. You can bring it back to fucking Australia. You can be. Jesus. It's a real pleasure to have you here with me.

I'll tell you what's a trip to. This fucking city is a trip to. This place is a trip to. See, like, it never ceases to amaze me when I come back here. Just how fucking strange the energy is in the city. I don't know me bad. Just strange. Let's talk about it.

Let's talk about it. So you live right now at this present moment. Where the hell do you live? Man, I live wherever my three suitcases are, basically. My business partner would probably argue and say that I live at his house because whenever I travel, I go through London at some point and I end up staying at his house for a couple of weeks. So that's the place I spend the most time.

But about three and a half years ago, I made the decision. One of my online businesses was starting to make a little bit of money and my landlord in London wanted to put my rent up. And I just said, you know, it's just not even worth it for me to stay here anymore. You know, like, I'd taken a holiday to Thailand and I'd had an amazing holiday stayed in a really good hotel for fucking, I think, like five and a box a month or something, something dirt cheap. And I just thought to myself, what's the point of staying in London here?

Like, just go see the world. So I sold or gave away everything I owned. I didn't have a girlfriend at the time and I just headed out on the road. And yeah, man, I spent like I've spent the last three and a half years just going kind of in a loop from Asia to England to US just in a kind of loop because I met a girl in LA about two years ago and she's not my fiance. So I've been here with her or she's come to meet me in England or meet me in Thailand or she's come to me to South Africa.

And I mean, it's just been this crazy jumble of travel and to do two seminars. And I've just been on the road nonstop. So I haven't lived anywhere. I know it sounds crazy. What goes down in Thailand? Give me your basic. I fucking think about Thailand. I pass out.

Fuck, man. That place. How crazy is it? It is the craziest. It is the craziest. And you can find amazing little villages where people are living in huts and none of them even have smartphones and, you know, it's the most beautiful unspoiled place. And then you can go to the street in Bangkok called Soi Cowboy,

which is where all the bars and strip clubs are. And it's the most depraved, crazy fucking thing you dirty bitches. Dice, gambling. Oh, dude. And, you know, the interesting thing about Thailand, the Thai people, they call Thailand the land of smiles and the people always smile. They smile. They give you this big smile.

But if you cross those dudes, they will fuck you up so badly, man. Literally, especially if you're a tourist because they, I mean, you're a guest. And I remember I was out at a bar one night, an outdoor little pop-up bar type thing, you know, like in a little street. It wasn't like it was a little bar that basically puts all the tables and chairs out in the evening and then puts them away and you wouldn't even know it's a bar at the end of the night. And me and my friends and I arrived there and there were some guys sitting at a table and half the table was free.

So my friend says, hey, can we sit here? And the guy just had an attitude. He was like, hey, man, this is Bangkok. So where the fuck you want? I remember thinking, man, this guy's got a bit of an attitude. That's not necessary. You know, like, anyway, we sat down and then at the end of the night, about an hour later, these guys got up to leave.

The guys that were there originally, I think they were German tourists. And they didn't want to pay their bill. They were like saying, oh, you ripped us off. This isn't the right amount. You've charged us too much. And a bunch of high guys came and all the waitresses came and they came around all the white people and they took all of our cell phones, right? They took all of our cell phones and then they surrounded these four German dudes

and just kicked the shit out of them. Literally kicked the shit out of them. And then gave us all our phones back and just carried on with the rest of the night. And that was when it hit me like, they say this is the land of the smiles, but do not fuck with these people because they will take you out. So yeah, Thailand's wild. Thailand is wild, Joe. You should check it out one day.

I think you'll appreciate it. Are you fucking crazy? Now let me ask you this. You teach seminars there? Yeah, I've taught a few in Thailand. They have a lot of jujitsu in Thailand. Yeah, growing. Growing, man.

Growing. In Bangkok, there's like a big scene now. A good place called Arete. A friend of mine, Andrew McDonald owns. It's a cool place. I strongly recommend if anyone's traveling to go check that out. Man, jujitsu is everywhere now. Everywhere.

Like you can go to fucking Cambodia and find a jujitsu academy, I'm sure. You could go to row one down. I'm sure there's a jujitsu academy popped up there. Like it's just spread like wildfire. What are the other places that are... What are the other favorite places that you go to? Have you been to Japan? No.

Man, that is a fucking trip as well. That is it. I mean... Do you think there's a Brazilian jujitsu there too? Yeah. Yeah, it's getting pretty big there as well because you follow UFC and stuff, right? Yes. But before UFC, the big thing was pride.

Yeah, so I mean, they all know about that. I mean, that's where it all came from, dude, is Japan. So they're not strangers to it. But you know how the Japanese are. They're super efficient and clinical and they're like... And at shows in their jujitsu, they are like... They're all like guys because you know Japanese people aren't generally big, but goddamn, they move like ninjas, bro.

You know? So I enjoy Japan a lot. I enjoy the culture. I enjoy... It's a fantastic place. I highly recommend it. Well, I've heard people talking about taking like train cautions. Like people would go on vacation specifically to train at a new gym or to take seminars.

So even if someone's not, like they could just go and be like, hey, let's go to Thailand and just train the whole time. I wouldn't like to think about going on vacation. I don't even want to go to the hotel gym or all of that stuff. I can't imagine going to go to like seminars and it's crazy. Yeah, I mean, it's a fucking adventure. It is, right? It's a fucking adventure, you know?

And what's his name? The cook, the fucking chef. Anthony Bourdain. Anthony Bourdain, Blue Belt. You know, I think he should be adding it to every goddamn show now. I think he should be showing the Jiu Jitsu place at that site. It's interesting you mentioned because I just... It's the strangest thing.

I just toured a seminar in the Philippines. I can't remember when it was, about six months ago, seven months ago. And the week after I left, Anthony Bourdain was in the Philippines and he went to that same Jiu Jitsu Academy where I taught the seminar. And I thought that was pretty cool to know that Anthony Bourdain had been there. I was sad to have missed him, but I thought it was cool. Well, he's only shooting in places now that he knows is a great Jiu Jitsu Academy. Oh, seriously?

So it's included in part of his, that city pic now with CNN. You know, I always hope to see the Jiu Jitsu place at the city where he goes. I think it'd be pretty cool to add it to the show. I'm not a producer. I don't give a fuck. CNN don't give a fuck about me, so I just thought it would be interesting. And sometimes he does. Sometimes he has, but I thought it would be a lot more.

That's what I'm trying to say to people. I looked at the thing about Jiu Jitsu though. Unless you know what it is, it looks pretty fucking weird. I mean, let's be honest, right? It's two guys in their pajamas rolling around on the floor like, so I can understand how to the average person, that's not the coolest looking thing on TV. You know what I mean?

Like if you're the producer, you don't want to be showing too much of that because you get what I'm saying. Yeah, absolutely. But once you understand it even a little bit, it becomes totally different, you know? And I think you'll find that it'll become more and more popular as people start, as, you know, the UFC has done so much to help it. It's only going to continue.

I shot this little documentary about five years ago, myself and my little partner, Death here. And we went to visit this guy, Carmine the Torch Balzano. And he's a little fucking crazy. He's always been crazy. But in the whole conversation, he said something. We asked him how old he was and he said like 72. And we go, you still work?

And he goes, if you stop using it, you lose it. Okay. Kickboxing, you know what? You got a kickbox over here. You throw two elbows on uppercut and two like this. And you do that repeatedly, you know what? And it moves you a little bit analytically. But when you go to jiu-jitsu at 55, you're thinking completely differently.

I did coke for 27 fucking years and I stopped. And it's kind of the same addiction. Like I want to go to jiu-jitsu every day. I just can't fucking recover. But when I'm not there and I'm not writing a joke and I'm not doing something that's meaningful, I'm sitting there thinking how come that armbar works? You know what I'm saying?

I'm thinking they're going the next time I go to class. I got to try that fucking come on. That guy shot me. You know BJ Penn, right? Yes. Yeah. I remember reading in one of his books how he said when he started jiu-jitsu, there was a point where he,

it was literally all he thought about. He'd be at the breakfast table eating and he wouldn't even be thinking about the food. He'd just be thinking about a specific move or technique. And I guess what I'm saying, Joey, is that you might be the next BJ Penn. It's just little things. Like when you leave there, you ask the purple belt,

why didn't that work? And he'll go, your foot was six inches from my hip. Now on the drive there, you're like, guess what? First thing today, I'm going to try that move again. And this time I'm going to lock his fucking head. I don't give a fuck. After the warm-ups, that's exactly the move I'm going for. Whether I get the submission or not,

I'm just going for that six inches today. That's six inches? So, guess what happens to a guy like me? I start smoking fucking dope. Listen, I'm very motivated. I got the kettlebells in the trunk. I go down to North Hollywood. I get water.

I do 10 sets of 10, 10 cents of 15. I do some cleans. I do some squats. I do some farmer walks. I do some fucking syrups or an eight-pound ball. And then I stretch out and I get in that fucking car because I'm drenched and I'm coming home. I love it.

That's all great. And then I go to the YMCA and walk for 42 minutes or 45. Do the Dolce fucking walk. Get off there, do some weights, whatever. I'm saying it backwards. But did you just do it when I leave there? It makes me think. Number one.

And number two, I'm doing the hardest thing I think I could possibly do at this point in my life. So when I walk out of that one o'clock, guess what? Good luck. Good luck. You're not stopping me. I'm going to go home and do this. Do this.

Do this. Write that email. Write that word that we do when we think about doing things. But you don't procrastinate. All the procrastination is over. I procrastinate for 15 minutes, but from a quarter to 11 to 11 o'clock, I'm giving myself the reasons why I shouldn't go to the Jiu-Jitsu.

Yeah, man. I'm not going to go today. Man, I still do that as well. I still do that. Then you breathe heavy. Then about 11 o'clock you go, OK. And now I get ready. I run in the room.

I drink water. I take a baby. Then at 11 o'clock I do the exact same shit every day. Sometimes I make a protein shake. It's got a little caffeine in it. I do that. And I put my knee pads on. I make sure I wipe my ass.

It's no stink like 10 dead fucking cat sasses. You got to wipe your ass. You can't go in there with a stinky ass. I already took a shower. Trust me. I'm very, I love the whole cleansing. That's why I don't like the 6 a.m. class. People breathe on your shit.

They go in there with greasy hair and pussy on their breath. They don't put on the odor and on. They fucking reek it in the morning. They're on fire. You know what I'm saying? You can smell their balls through the ghee. The fucking coat, the cape. You're down there.

They're going, Jesus Christ, you stink to death. That's why I avoid all those 7 o'clock fucking workouts, people. If you don't like bad brats and fucking body odor, do not go to a 7 a.m. class. Because those billy goats won't even take a shower. They come straight from the bath. They brush their teeth and they hit you with that coffee cigarette, Brett, that fucking,

that shit goes into your t-shirt. That old mule, they don't brush their teeth. Listen, the professional does not brush their teeth before coffee, okay? He fucking has the coffee, a couple cigarettes, 22 bonnets. Now your breath smells like a fucking sewer. You got a listerine with the old shit, not the blue shit. The shit that burns your tongue and stuff.

I never knew how bad it was after a protein shake. What? Your breath. Oh, yeah. Like the protein shakes, I was walking around with it. I was like, oh, shit. I had to brush my teeth in the middle of the day. Yeah, dude.

I don't drink many of those myself. If you can smell your own breath, it's bad. Oh, it's horrible. It's a horror show. So those people, like kickboxing, they used to cast a 7 a.m. class. So I caught a whiff of fucking bad breath. I was dizzy for two minutes.

I was like, you can't live with this shit. Yeah, but we'll say this has been certain times in Jiu-Jitsu where a guy, his personal hygiene may not have been the best and like he's sitting on your head and you're just like, why am I doing this to myself? Now at two in the afternoon, I can take a smelly ass. I'll just look that away. I'm maneuvering my arm in there.

But in the morning, you're not fully awake. You forget about the hook. You forget about the fucking block, the frame, and all of a sudden you're inhaling that fucking muffler, that dead foot. They don't wash their feet. The heel is dirty from the night before. They went home and slept with dirty feet.

Who does that? Who does that? What savage does that? You go home and wash your feet every night? Absolutely. You got it. A little summer. How do you do it?

You just put the top to water and you go in there and loosen up your toes. Then you take the fucking hand cloth and you just wipe up between your toes. I moisten my fungi toy every night. I was going to say maybe that's how you got the fungi toe. No, I had the fungi toy for years of abuse. You're watering it.

No, the fungi. I'm not trying to feed properly, bro. I'm tall because I wear a D-disc. And then those old fucking leather. My wife always goes, why do you still sweat? You use those old school sneakers and shit. You feed the old moist stuff.

You gotta wash your feet. That's all I'm saying. Especially if you've got dirt on your heels. You know what I'm saying? If you've got dirt on your heels and go bad. I'm going to be straight up honest with you. I didn't wash my feet about two weeks ago. My fiancé gave me so much shit about it.

So she's going to love hearing this. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that, but she gave me so much shit about it. That's the truth. We do certain things. You go to Jiu Jitsu. You can't go home and go hunting and suck my balls. Did you do that to yourself?

After two hours of rolling, what's your asshole smell? You got those juices mixed. You got to go put some water in that fucking canal. You know what I'm saying? It's Sunday nightly. It's Monday. You got to drop knowledge on it. Sometimes you got to talk about fucking hygiene.

Whatever the fuck it is. I'm a fat dude. I've always been paranoid. It's smelling like products. That's my biggest fear. The other day, somebody said for some people, they did a survey that debt is not their biggest fear. It's the fear of public speaking.

I've heard that before. I've heard that before. That's the number one fear of people. My number one fear is feet. Touching men's feet. That's why when I went back to Jiu Jitsu, when I went to Jiu Jitsu, I overcame so many obstacles.

I want to stay in white belt forever. Because if not, I got one in toe hold. That's not my world. I'll never touch your feet at all. You can do whatever the fuck you want to do. I like to come around the ankle. That'll work for me. I grab underneath and do that shit and flip it over.

That'll work. I don't have to touch the foot. But everything else just didn't work. I'm telling you, I'm one of those guys. I always had skin diseases. When I was a kid, I had ringworm every summer. And I'm not a dirty person. I just played in the woods.

Playing with sticks. I grew up in Cuba, yeah? No, I grew up in New Jersey. Oh, right. I'd be very interested to see when Jiu Jitsu, if and when it gets to Cuba, what kind of Jiu Jitsu players they'll produce. Because man, the Cuban guys,

the ones that I've heard about in various sports are so fucking good. They're amazing in baseball and boxing. I mean, they're always placed well in the Olympics. They're just a very athletic nation, yeah? It's not my choice. Because it was communist. But here's the beauty about Cuba,

that because of their Russian influence, there was a lot of judo in Cuba. There was a lot of judo in Cuba. What's his name? Little guy that just lost to Dan Henderson. The Judo Olympian. It's now the UFC, the 38-year-old, that tested positive in the Romero.

Oh, right, right, yeah. The Judo background. Because that was always an option in Cuba as a young kid. It was such an option. That's why you would gig them before. I don't giggle for no fucking reason, guys. I giggle because I know something. Yeah, when I was a kid,

Martin Perez was a big Jiu-Jitsu kid. You know, I grew up in an neighborhood in the mid-70s. I'm a lot older than that. So, professor. So, in those days, not everybody fucking went to the same shit. You know what? You didn't like karate.

So you weren't going to go to karate. So you went to Taekwondo. This kid didn't like Gushinru karate. But he liked Kembo karate. And then the other kid up the corner, Mario Diaz, the Cuban-Chinese kid, he took Fuja Paikung Fu. And then the other kid, Martin, took Judo.

So at night, we'd all go to fucking Mario Diaz's house. He had a basement. Everybody would teach their perspective move. And the Judo kid seemed interesting. And that day, he showed, you know, he just showed what you see on Channel 7, the fucking hip throw and something else. And it was very interesting.

So about a week later, I went down there. They had a ghee laying around. I put the ghee on. I must have been fucking 10 years old. Oh, my God. Oh, my fucking God. That was not for me. And that dude was whipping those kids.

That dude was straight up punching you in the chest. He didn't fuck around. Everything. He was a Cuban dude. But all his commands were in Japanese. And all your commands back to him had to be in fucking Japanese. There was no giggling.

There was no outbreak. Like, in those days, if you tapped out, and they take five minutes, he'd fucking abuse you. He'd fucking abuse you. That was mental abuse in those days. He was on 7th and Bergenland Avenue. I'll never forget this as a child. But I remember going to two of his classes and going,

you know what? The same for me. Just too much discipline or what? It was too... You can't live like that. He would hit you with a stick. He'd kick you if you were breathing heavy. Like one day, the most memorable thing was a kid slammed the kid

and he heard his shoulder and the kid was crying. And he came over and just kicked him in the fucking shoulder. The same shoulder? The same shoulder. And he goes, that'll snap it and get up. And I'm fucking like, you know what? They're saying it for me. So I took my little fucking judo gi and I took my party up

to a guy named Richard Bowles Aikido. This is way before fucking Stephen Seagal people, okay? He was there until about 10 years ago. Richard Bowles senior, senior had it. By now he's not even white no more. The kid was like half Asian. Over the years he married a Japanese. So I went there for a few weeks.

And I thought that was just bullshit. Just like too... I would go home and practice at the people in my mom's bar. It never worked. You know what I'm saying? Those are the villains I got to fight. Other people at my mom's bar. They're like 30.

It would never work. The wrist locks and the taking with the movement. I always got sucked somewhere. So after about a month it just wasn't practical. So I just stuck with that shit. The judo fucked that shit. That experience was horrible. I mean to be fair he sounds like a pretty crappy teacher.

Might have been different if you... Kick that little kid in the shoulder. What the weird thing is about this story? Oh you haven't. That's not weird yet. No. A. I never told that story before. B.

In those days it seemed like all the martial art programs were very rough on kids. Because I had a guy. When I was in New York he was rough. Like he made you run outside barefoot in the snow with your fucking gear. That's a nightmare. When I was in New Jersey he wanted to see your report card. He would punch in the chest in the fucking time. He would take the ear out of your stomach.

Yeah. There's that. But then... They were all like the karate kid. That guy existed in the 70s. The karate kid, the bad guy. Yeah. Those guys exist to take out his knee.

They practice that. He would be like a Vietnam vet. Because when I learned it was really funny. I learned from two Vietnam vets. So something. But this guy, you know, there was just guys that were just bad people. There was a guy up in the Bronx in those guys. That was a white dude.

That was an evil motherfucker with his students. And the first time I saw the karate kid I thought about that guy. But anyway, most more even people that I graduated high school with. That I kept in touch with. Years later joined martial arts as adults. Like 25 year olds. And when I would go home they'd tell me about their experiences. They all became like purple belts at a Taekwondo place.

Like three of the girls. And they would smoke pop before they'd go in there at night. They would go to work and then smoke and then go in there. And they said that they were giggling one night. And the guy took the sword out. That was with the fucking... The one that's the stick that's really the sword. And he goes, he just fucking whipped us in the back.

We never went back. We were like, fuck this. Three years you're gonna whip us in the fucking back. Dude, imagine when that happened today. Like you get sued instantly. Just think about it. You'd have like child protection services. And God knows what else if you did something like that.

Well, I was in that seventh grade I played basketball. And the different coaches were people who worked at the schools. They were either the track coach or the seventh grade algebra teacher. Lee, right over there you're looking at people tripping. Look at Lee. Lee, you ready for another start? Absolutely. So everybody who worked at these things were people who...

I don't even think the gig paid in those days. I was a young kid. But there was a coach down at Kennedy School. His name was Rougar. R-U-G-A-R. He in the fucking seventies. He was a... Do you watch basketball?

What happened to you? Not much. There was a coach here in the Lakers years ago. That was a good looking dude. Went over and started coaching in Miami. I forget what his fucking name was. But he started wearing the $800 suits and shit. Pat Riley?

Is that him? Pat Riley. Yeah, yeah. Don't look into it. Don't look into it. Yeah. So already in the seventies, coach Rougar dressed that way. And I heard like coach Rougar was one of those coaches that if your team sucked he would

run the score up like 100 to fucking 12. But the beauty of it was in the fourth quarter he'd still be yelling, press, press, and it became a fucking joke for years. But I heard stories about when they lost. What did he do to them? You know, the seventies was a different fucking decade in this country. Man, you can't leave it like that. Let's hear it, man.

You know, he made them like they got back that day. They went to school at three o'clock. He made them run for an hour with their hands up in the fucking air. And if you put your hands down and you got kicked in the fucking midsection in those days and called the pussy, you fucking cunt. You know, it wasn't what it is today. You know, the coaching, you know, Bob Hurley, the guy from Jersey City. You're not familiar with that.

Great coach, fantastic coach. But I heard some of his fucking speeches growing up. And I was like, like, damn, but that's what you got to do to young men who are at that age that they're fucking cuter than you. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just find that human beings, they learn better when they're having fun, right? Oh, no, no, no, no.

You learn a thousand times better when you're having fun. But it's just weird how they, in every school, they had one person who was known. When I went to school in the seventh grade, we had Mr. Kingwall. And everybody knew that when you got to the seventh grade, you had a problem. It was going to get out on Mr. Kingwall because he was going to go out of the way to fucking find it. And he would break your balls. He was just one of those guys. He had hit a few back teachers.

He had hit a few students. But that was the wrong school district to hit students. So one time, the one father came in and beat the fuck out of him. Not in front of me. This is like two years ahead of me. The guy came in at quarter to three. And he let a man straight up. Mr. Carver, I had a cigar in his mouth, took it out.

And he said, I'm going to do to you what you do to my son. That's amazing. He just started beating the fuck out of Kingwall. And then there was another story. There was another kid that his dad came at three o'clock and got him by the car and threw punches at him and got him down. Nice. In those days, the cops didn't come either. The cops didn't come either.

Well, Joey, man, in honor of Father's Day, I actually have to tell a similar story about my dad. Maybe you'll even listen to the show. I'll send a term. When I was, I think in maybe third grade, yeah, second or third grade, I was at a school and the principal's name was Mr. Wiley. And he was a real dickhead. I couldn't stand the guy. And I was a pretty mischievous kid, but I was never like a bad kid. I was just like, you know, little kids are naughty.

You know, you don't want to play and run around and do shit. You don't want to be sitting being taught arithmetic. And anyway, like he, it was against the school rules to have your hands in your pockets. Because in South Africa, we wear school uniform, right? Like shorts and a college shirt and a tie and a blazer and your socks pulled up and it's like very, very proper, I guess is the word. And he saw me one day with my hands in my pockets and he said, take your hands out your pockets. So I took my hands in my pockets. Keep in mind, it was freezing.

It was winter. And then it happened a couple of times that I had my hands in my pockets and he kept telling me not to do it. And I wasn't, I wasn't trying to be naughty. I just was forgetting. You know, I had other stuff in my mind, you know, and I just, and my hands were cold. And then one time he came and grabbed me by my two lapels of my jacket and he like picked me up off the ground. And he said, I told you to take your hands out of your pockets. Right.

And like, man, I'm seven or eight years old, right? And what is a little kid? I freaked out. I mean, I was like, what the fuck is going on? So I went home and told my dad. And my dad, he's a karate black belt and he's, you know, a Greek guy. He's got hot blood and he's, he wasn't happy with that at all. So the next day he took me into the school and he walked right up to the principal's office, called the, said to the secretary, I want to speak to Mr. Whitey.

Mr. Whitey came out. My dad just walked straight up to him and grabbed him by his lapels and lifted him up against the wall. And he said, I hear you've been laying your hands on my son. And that was one of the moments when my dad became my fucking hero. Do you know what I mean? So happy Friday's day, dad. Thank you, man. I love you.

What the guy said? I can't remember what he said, but he was, it was like slime. He kind of like, no, no, I would never do that. Or like kind of try to backpedal out of it. Some snakey bullshit. Right. But yeah, the guy never, never messed around with me again, which so it worked, I guess. Yeah.

I wonder what would happen if that, if that went down in LA yet. I wonder who it gets sued first. It'd be interesting. Well, it's kind of, it's in this society, it's, it happens. I guarantee a lot. We just don't hear about it. There's teacher, student assault in some schools. There's some schools that you, it's just evident.

You see how they walk around. I dated a girl in college who was a student teacher and she went to, was going to like areas to be a student teacher and they were throwing desks. They were throwing chairs. It gets scary. Like at the teacher. Yeah. Fucking hell.

We were bad, but not, no. Not evil. You know, like it's, it's mischievous, but it's not evil. Nobody had weapons. Nobody, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I saw Louis Alderbaugh in the age where he punched fucking the principal in the head. He was in the pilot program. He was like 19, the sixth grade and shit.

When he came from Cuba, he didn't learn the language. So he just kept leaving them back. Finally, when you're a 17 and you're in the seventh grade, they have to fucking push your head. You can't do nothing. This kid was a fucking man. In those days, these kids would drive to school. They would write their own fucking notes and shit.

He'd sit there and go, what the fuck? That's wild. Have you, um, have you been back to Cuba late? No. No. I was very interested to see that country. I'm trying. As a matter of fact, I called my sister this week.

As hard fucking wrenching as it was to leave them. I got beef in Cuba with this fucking family. They don't know the whole story. They don't know the whole story. You know, my, my, my Cuban family thinks that, uh, I turned my back on them after my mom died. The truth of the matter is they were in Cuba when I was here. It was too different.

I was 16 years old. You want me to call you on a daily and ask for what? I'm over here banging out. So over the years, they just heard reports, but I have a sister there. So my sister sent a letter seven months ago with my cousin up in Glendale. He's never given me the fucking letter. So my sister talked to my other cousin in Cuba two weeks ago and said, tell him to call me. So I called this week and then answered the phone.

I called 10 o'clock at night. Nobody fucking answered. So that's the deal. I'd like to go back at this point, get Lee and let's go back to get a bagel company, open up a little fucking bagel company, get some salmon, okay to me and you will pay some taxes. That's the deal. Open up a locks and bagel company. You think humans would like bagels a lot?

It's not up for them. It's for the fucking tourists. We'll give away the old bagels to the fucking Cubans at the end of the night. They're our fucking bodyguards. Maybe you're going to go back there one day when you get your black bolt and open a jiu-jitsu academy. That's going to be a long fucking time from now, brother. You know when I go to jiu-jitsu, I don't even think about that.

That's good. I really don't. It doesn't. I'm happy that I'm there. That's a good thing. Like when I go to jiu-jitsu, I'm happy I'm there. Like I can't believe I'm fucking here at this age in the back line doing fucking sit ups and fucking triangles up in the air, the warm ups and doing fucking.

It's just amazing that I'm even there, guys. That's interesting you said that because I got an email from one of the readers on my website because I'd written an article about, I think it's called, eight tips for jiu-jitsu after 30. And I got an email from a guy saying, he said, I'm an older guy doing jiu-jitsu and the best tip I ever got was one of the older guys took me aside. No, no. I was chatting to one of the older guys after the class and I said to him, what keeps you

motivated because my body's really beat up. I'm only 45 and you're like 60. How do you keep coming back? And he said, one day, just the fact that you can come and do it will be the thing that keeps you going, just the fact that you can literally step on the mat. And so now don't even worry about those injuries. Just be happy that that day hasn't come yet and that always stuck with me and that makes me stop being, stop being such a pussy when I'm tired or I don't feel like going.

I'm like, man, one day I won't be able to do this. So now I should just be thankful that I can go and, you know, get on the mats. I've seen Don Nassanto or Egan Michalos seven hours and I almost died. He must be close to like 80 now. Yeah. You know, I mean, guys, he's not aware they're doing flying barren bulbos, but he's sparring. He's sparring half speed. That's got to be good for you at that health.

Your heart's moving. Yeah, yeah. You're not fucking lifting weights. At least do some rolling or imagine, right? I mean, like, again, you're not going to do fucking judo flips and land on your shoulders and you'll be drinking protein shakes with your hand for 22 fucking years. But you have to go there and move and that keeps you alive. You know, when you're, when your kids are five and they're like, where are you going,

dad? And you're like, I gotta go to Jiu-Jitsu. Why are you going to Jiu-Jitsu? You're not a fighter. I didn't want to be a fighter. I want to go there and meet different people, people who don't want to know about where the best gig is or how do you get the comedy? People that I walk in and I'm just that dude in the corner.

That's a white belt. I love that fucking feeling, guys. I've been doing it since I was a kid. When I was a kid, my mom had done with it on the Upper West Side of New York. When I go to the Upper Upper to Harlem, I'd see those kids, they lived 18 to an apartment. So I would become them in my mind. Instead of going out with a dollar and have a quarter and I became them and I enjoyed it.

I didn't like living down there with those guys. I like living with those people who were struck when I identified with them. When I go to a restaurant, I get the fuck about the major. I think about the Mexicans are bringing me fucking bread and water and I talk to them. You know what? You go to a restaurant with me, there's always bread and water. You follow me in a big stick of fucking butter for your heart. Now, but think about this, right?

So that feeling you get, like you go to Jiu-Jitsu, no one's bugging you about comedy. Imagine being a celebrity on the level of someone like Brad Pitt, right, or anyone. You know, like one of those super mega celebrities. What a fucking curse that must be because there is nowhere you can go where you can just be the white belt or just be the guy in the corner or just be left alone because you're just too famous and too popular. You know what I mean? That must be hell.

And even if people don't come up and bug you for a photograph or an autograph or something, they're going to act differently towards you. No doubt about it. And I often think about how strange that must be and pretty crappy that must be. What are your thoughts on that? Okay. Let's pretend I'm on a TV show and I'm getting 30 Gs a fucking week and I got two days a week that I could try and maybe a third.

I would call you up and say, Professor, let's do something Mondays, Tuesdays, and then do you mind coming to the set on Friday? I'll get you some portable mats. We'll leave them at the set and we'll just first off from fucking 300 pounds. You're a nice guy. You're going to bring an assistant with you, somebody my size, and we both get a lesson. I don't know what you call them in a re-gay or whatever the fuck you want. An ookey.

An ookey. Yeah. So you bring an ookey with you and we do our thing. You know what? That's great. I'd love to pay you fucking $1,000 an hour and for you to teach me armbars and for me to fuck around with an ookey three days a week, but I got to tell you something. In my world, there's nothing like walking into a class 15 minutes before that class

because if you can make it to that class a quarter minute, 15 minutes before, because you can. You can do anything in your life and you warm up and you talk to the guys and you see the people coming in and then all of a sudden right there, you're like, listen, my bag is right next to the door. I could still get the fuck out of here if I have to. And all of a sudden, you know, you look at the clock, it's two minutes to 12 and I start hyperventilating a little bit just thinking about it and then you warm up with these guys

and you start drilling and they teach you this and next thing you're back to zero. I would miss that whole atmosphere. That's what really it's all and it would be great to just pay somebody and get their black belt. I come in to see you three days a week. You bring an ookey with you and we fucking roll. We drink coconut water and you give me a belt. For me, that's not even the whole thing.

You'd be missing out on a lot of the social thing. The people coming up to you and going, hey, you know, there's always that purple belt that comes up and I was watching you get on your back. Next time you got a guy like this, grab his collar and you're like, oh, shit. What the fuck? You're a fucking magician like you're like, where the fuck did you come up with that? The other day, somebody did not grab my arm on a hip bop, a purple belt grabbed my gi and twisted my, oh, no, no, he grabbed my sleeve.

So he started from a fucking triangle and then somewhere or another, he popped up, took my sleeve and hit him by me for two days. I was scratching my head. I don't fucking do that. And I didn't catch him after class. That's what you miss. I used to train at Higgins and I used to see Ashton Kutcher come in and as Ashton Kutcher was coming and everybody would leave and you don't even, you feel creepy if you're sitting

watch. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I would just leave, but it would be Higgins, him and some blue belt would come in on a brown belt. That was also an actor or something or something, but it wouldn't be to a regular class. And then we're going, that's great that he comes, but wouldn't it be great if he became an hour ago and then set up some, and I don't give a fuck who you are.

Let's do this. Come on. Fucking twist my fucking arm. Come on. Choke me, you fuck. That's the whole drill. You choke. Don't put me out.

I got sleep apnea. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't want to be here lip-depying on you. Eyeballs popping out. But when I go to class, I want people to choke me and show me how that feels. I got bad flexibility, but you pulling my arm, you're helping me out a little bit. It's amazing. That's the class atmosphere, man.

That's what I would never want to miss. Once you have $10 million, I can do whatever the fuck I want. I can fly you into the helicopter to jump off with a fly cracked on your ass, laying on a pad and teaching you whatever the fuck you want, staying in the villa. What's that going to do? Yeah, man. You get to. But just think about this.

A guy like Ashton Kutcher, he lives his whole life like that. He will, for example, a story I heard about Arnold Schwarzenegger, it was in, I can't remember where I read it, but he and his family were shopping. They were walking in a mall and they walked into the fossil store. There was a, you know, fossil watchers and basically like their body, they had two bodyguards with them. The bodyguards clear out the whole store and the store closes its doors and they just spend 10 minutes looking whatever they want.

Right? Like it's the same kind of thing as that's happening to Ashton Kutcher with the Jiu-Jitsu. It's the same thing when any one of these mega celebrities walks into a restaurant. It's not the same. They don't get the full experience because people treat them differently. You follow what I'm saying with it? It's like, and I always wonder that must be such a terrible fucking thing. What a shame you bring this up.

I turn Leon to OJ, you know, Lee was a kid when all this went down. It happened in our country. A famous football player killed his wife. Yeah, I remember. No big fucking deal. This show made in America, when they asked me last night when I called Eddie Bravo, called me last night, he was doing the Rogan podcast and they go, what are you doing? I go, I'm watching the fights, but FX last night fucked up.

You taped the fights last night. You taped the fights last night. They had this girl fight and then it switched to auto racing. And then once when I get home, I'm watching fucking auto racing. I'm furious. I'm like, what the fuck? And all of a sudden Eddie Bravo calls and he goes, did you watch the fights? I'm trying to, but, and all of a sudden they were starting, so I go, let me tape them.

And I go, I taped the last episode of OJ Made in America. You know what OJ Made in America is? I've heard about it. Why do you think it's called Made in America? We made him. We went to his house. How many times, Lee? How many times did it?

I know the one cop went once. It's amazing. There's a story in episode three or two about this cop that went and followed the report and it didn't go nowhere. And he knew he was going to kill her. Cops went there a thousand times, but it's OJ Simpson. Anyway, he goes. There's some chick who sucks his dick.

You know, he always wanted at a restaurant, you go to a club and Brad Pitt walks in, he gets a table and he gets three bottles and it's on the house and six out of 10, he might not even fucking tip. But Lee walks in and they make Lee pay. That's the guy you got to charge is Brad Pitt. He makes 20 fucking minutes. Yeah, it's wild. It's wild.

I think about this all the time. A story that blows my mind is, I mean, you know, I'm from South Africa, I'm from a city called Cape Town and I remember, I was just in my 20s, a fucking, you know, horny all the time. Like I didn't have a girlfriend. I just really wanted to, you know, out looking to pick up chicks, you know, as you do. And we're at this really expensive nightclub. It was the place to be in Cape Town at the time and Lee and I, I had a caprio was in

the club because he had been filming Blood Diamond in South Africa if I'm not mistaken. And he was sitting at the, in the VIP section. He had it all to himself and there was this queue of 50 of the hottest chicks you've ever seen in your life queuing just to be able to go and sit in the same section as him. Right. And his people were letting in some of them and I just thought to myself, like, I got really fucking depressed. I was like, Jesus, man, this is an experience I'm never going to have.

I'm never going to be the guy who can choose any one of 50 models or any three of 50 models for the night. Right. And then I was chatting about this with my buddy and he said, you know what, you know, Leonardo DiCaprio is probably fucking bored of that. He's probably bored out of his mind of it. So I think there's a point where that, that kind of celebrity, you know, you know, celebrity must turn in on itself.

What do you think? Well, over the years, you see the mistakes you made in any field and any field. You see the mistakes you made as a G2 teacher. You see the mistakes you make as a business owner or husband. You always see and you readjust. I made a thousand mistakes in my 30s that now my marriage is completely different because I made those adjustments and I learned my fucking lesson. You know, what's the question?

Uh, does it get boring taking models home from the from the club? I guess is the question. But all that shit. Yeah, listen, man, there's no. You do drugs three years. You go out every night. You go to the same stupid bar they treat you like royalty. You got your dick sucked in every place in that bar.

You know, you take chicks in the closet. You've done every nasty thing. When does it end? I mean, it's the people who think they can still pull off at 50 and look cute and look young. I feel bad for them, you know, but every guy, at least at one point has to go. You know, I need a fucking girlfriend. Many of the girlfriend is not in the business. I don't want to hear these nonsense at the fucking house about models and fucking

entertainment and agents. And that's what happens. You start picking and choosing. You start getting wiser about your decisions. You know, the twenties are a fucking throwaway in your life. Once you figure that out, your life's a lot easier. You don't figure that out until you're 45. I don't feel like that anymore.

The twenties are a throwaway. You're a fucking moron. Not you, Lisa. No, but I am, I'm sure I am. You're a fucking moron. I was a complete moron. I wanted to kidnap people. I thought I could fucking sell cars.

I just thought that there was all these capabilities. But again, I was like a junior OJ. I had gotten away with everything in New York City because I knew cops and shit. You're not doing good for people when you're doing that shit. They got to pay their the thirties. They got a little smarter, but not really. No, really. I was a little smarter at times.

I could have done better, you know. It wasn't till 37 that you're like, OK, I'm running out of fucking options. Yeah, I'm turning 37 this year, so hopefully something's going to happen. You know, you sit there waiting for something to happen and nothing really happens. You're like, you know what? You read something. You read something fucking stupid. You just read something stupid.

I you know what got me going? I read that John Gotti had taken over the family at the age of 45. I was 44. I'm still going to do coke. I'm still going to be a fucking dumb comic. You know, I do some movies, but who gives a fuck? You get a movie. You can breathe into a glass. If you can fog a glass to give you a movie in this town, you don't have to be no fucking acting coach or nothing.

And, you know, things change. You stop doing drugs. You make different goals in your life, you know, with that BJJ page I got ever since I got on that maybe a year ago. You write down how many times you want to go up and it tells you and you monitor it. You write notes about the class and you write whatever the fuck. You know, the date, what happened, where you're trained. So I applied that to my normal goal writing thing, you know, where every

month I got to write where I want to be at, what I want to do with the purpose of the month. So I put it all together, man. It's like G Kundo. It's like Cuban G Kundo. I'm talking a little Catholicism, a little fucking Judaism. I get the party started. Good for you, Joey. How old were you when you got into Jiu-Jitsu and what were you doing before you did? That's a good question, man. I think I was like 19 when I started doing the no-gi stuff in South Africa.

And then I was 23 or 24 when I moved to London and started doing BJJ with the with the G. So and what I was doing before that is I was in college and I was always just hustling, man. I'd never had like a real job, you know, I was always just doing a bit of this and a bit of that and give odd gigs here and there. So I never had like an office job or anything like that. So I just went straight into the Jiu-Jitsu, I guess. How did you survive during Jiu-Jitsu?

That's an interesting question. A really cool guy who set up Roger's gym in London. He's a super connected guy. You know, one of those dudes is just he just knows everyone, right? He kind of took a shine to me and I kind of helped him a little bit with his Jiu-Jitsu. And he gave me a few people in the music industry to train as a personal trainer. One of them being the guy from the beginning of the conversation that I'm meeting tomorrow. And yeah, I just got by teaching personal training

and then doing some Jiu-Jitsu private lessons. And I wasn't like balling it or anything. But I got by, you know, London's an expensive city and I still had a reasonably decent lifestyle. I wasn't starving or anything, you know. I was telling Lee today I had a buddy, one of my close, close, close buddies who came on the podcast once. He passed away last year. But his main gig was he was Franco's boxing coach. His name was Maca Foley.

Which Franco are you, Frank? James Franco. All right, OK. And he used to tell me the fucking stories in the paid days. And he'd sit and go, what the fuck? You sat there for how long? And they gave me a rental car. And I only had to see him an hour a day. It was just different different times of the day.

And he just box him. That's it. Wild. Yeah, that's cool. And he was there for, I think, three or four fucking movies. They'd give him money to fly. They'd give him money. You know, James Franco smokes weed, so he'd get weed for free. It was a fucking amazing experience. Wow, just traveling with somebody trained him for 12 weeks.

When I did the longest shard with Bob Sapp, Ivan Salivary and the other dude were there, the kickboxing dude, throughout the whole thing. Can you imagine having two fucking trainers on the set? Yeah, yeah, that's pretty fucking cool. I got kickboxing dude and a fucking jitter dude. Yeah, that's something cool. Fuck, that's boring right there. Yeah, I remember I am about five or six years ago.

I was training a celebrity who like made me promise not to ever tell who it was. I won't say it was, but I remember I was in London training him for a few months. And then I flew to New York on vacation and I get out of the out of the subway in New York in Times Square. And he is on a billboard in a pair of jeans advertising some pair of jeans. And I was just like, fuck, I was just getting that guy to do 50 pushups the other day. You know, it was kind of a weird feeling. Yeah, strange.

So I hope you move here. If you move here, I could see you a little more. You could teach me some of your fucking shit deadly. Let me get some shout out. I get us out of here. Joe Avalos, Timmy Holloway, newly. One love. Matt Balthazar, Andy McGrath, 81.

Peter Schrager, Bobby Crystal and Donny Flowers. There you go. Fuck suckers. No drama tonight. Nice and slow. I'm in Philadelphia this week, but nothing cracking. There's no tickets left. But I'm doing the no expectation tour

from flappers to the ice house to flappers to the ice house to the comedy store, belly room, 50 people, cedars. It's like 10 bucks to get in. I'm just going to work on my one hour special. And you guys are going to be my guinea pigs. I'll post it up on Twitter a week before, right? That's all I got for you guys. Cocksuck, it's hot here to 113.

And it's going to be one 14 and a half tomorrow. So at one point I went out today and it was just amazing. I got 130. I had I hadn't felt that in a long time. Like it got hot fucking quick. Check out the sunburn, man. See that was on the beach today. Oh, this is real sometimes.

You want to see sunburn? That's fucking sunburn right there. You kid. I don't know if you want to pull me to pull it up because it has my butt in it. But when I went to the beach the other the other week, like my back is still pink from it. Oh, and it's itchy as fuck.

And at night, the fan hits me. I got to get up and rub my back on the fucking wall. Oh, I do that like a crazy person. It's horrible. As long as you wash your feet, man. What's the future for you, my friend? What do you want to do when you move out here? Yeah, I got a great gift.

You know, you could do videos in charge. You could do seminars. You got so many things you don't you don't fight at all. You go to competitions to every now and then, man. But I'm getting a bit older now. And it's difficult to to focus on competing when you're living out of a suitcase. You know, you have to.

I think you have to be if you want to compete properly, you need like to put yourself through a proper like training camp and be in one place for three or four months and really focus on the competition. So are you a vegan or you eat everything? No, man, I eat pretty much everything and yourself. No, no, no, I used to be a vegan. That's what got me all fat and shit.

It's not till I got off the meat and stuff that I looked down just to be a vegan if I fucking wanted to. The other day, my wife made asparagus and I tried from time to time. I just tried smelling it. I thought my intestines were gonna come out of my fucking nose. I hate all that shit. It's so bad.

I like lettuce, tomato, onions, and that's it. I'll eat some pickles if you got them. So you're not coming for a kale shake with Lee and I after this, huh? Fuck no. Even though somebody told me that the Asahi Cafe makes a nice fucking kale shake over there. And I know that it was so funny because I walked out

and I knew Alan Jackson, the Jitsu kid. And then as I was getting in my car, the same little waitress from Marie E.T.C. is a waitress over there. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I work in there. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ, you're a high school kid. How many jobs you got?

So it was pretty fucking interesting to see. I don't know what to tell you, Nick. I'm a big fan. I like your videos. I like your work. Well, man, we're gonna have some fun doing some Jiu-Jitsu this week, yeah? I hope I see you either tomorrow or Tuesday.

It looks like Tuesday. Tomorrow my day's fucked up. It's gonna be 118. You really don't wanna get caught on the highways tomorrow. I thought you were gonna say you really don't wanna get caught under Joey Diaz when it's 118.

No, no, you're a professional. It'll take you three minutes next thing. I'm flying through the fucking air and asking myself what went wrong. You're still holding onto my sleeve. You got me in a go-go plot that you're turning it into a fucking Chinese fucking torture chamber and I don't know what happened.

No, tomorrow's one of those days I have the baby. I have the baby don't go to school on Mondays. So I think I'm gonna take him in the morning. If I could bust that out. Somebody wants to see me at 1.15 up here in Burbank. I don't know how long that'll take. And pretty much after that, I'm pretty much fucking free. You know, what's up, Lee?

What level belt were you when you left England? When you started going, when you started traveling? I was black belt. Okay, because before the podcast, Joey, you were talking about how it was hard for you sometimes to skip around to school at the school. Like you're, and now you're traveling. Has it been hard for you to keep up?

Or do you like going to school at the school? You're asking, Joey? No, you're- Oh, me, sorry, sorry about that. Yeah, no, I like going school to school. Cause as I said, I just make so many friends, man. It's so much fun. But sometimes, if I'm honest,

my jiu-jitsu has suffered because man, I'm jet lagged a lot of the time. And it's difficult to get like a rhythm. Like Joey was saying at the beginning of the, I think before even started the podcast, he's like, I'm going three times a week now, you know? And that's, that's my thing. And for me, sometimes I don't even get to go three times a week

because whatever my travel schedule, or I can't get to the place that I need to go to, whatever it is. So that's suffered a little bit. But the positive is that it's just good to make new friends, as I said. When people hit me up on Twitter, they go, Joey, are you bringing your geek?

And I'll go back to them. Do you have a school? And they'll go, yes. The first question out of my mouth is, this is what we fuck up is, is it walking distance to where I'm staying? That's the key word. Cause there's one thing I don't fuck it like,

it's playing James Bond in a fucking city looking for your fucking goddamn school. The worst is when they're in a suburb, it's down the east coast, if you contact me, you got a school in Pittsburgh, yeah, I do. Come on out, Professor Nick. It's not that you get off the plane, there's a, by the way, involved.

It's in the suburb of Pittsburgh. That's 40 miles completely longer than you wanted to fucking do. Yeah, that's happened to me a couple times. Compared to where the fuck you were staying. And you're like, how did this fucking happen? Now I don't want to go out there. And I want to have, and I want to have back in an hour.

What the fuck, what the fuck, where did I go wrong? That's the problem I was making for a long time. I didn't know the demographic. Now, unless I could walk to your jujitsu school, I can't do it, because that means you got to get in the car with a creepy person, you know, who knows who this person is. They want to show you the fucking neighborhood

and do a tour guide, listen, I don't want to know nothing. I don't want to know nothing. I just want to fucking go in there and get choked out. If you guys have to teach me something and next thing you know, they want to go eat and it's becomes what was one hour now becomes four fucking hours and you still got foot fungus.

So what's the fucking difference? So you follow what I'm saying? That's the key words. When I go to San Jose, I know Camarillo's down the corner. Oh, Dave Camarillo. I can fucking take the skateboard there. I know he's there. I feel more comfortable and I'm exaggerating the way,

but if it's like, let's say 68, 68, and your school is 14, two, sunset, I'll go. You know, but it's one way. I got to take a bus. I got to take a cab. It's when you tell me it's in fucking, you know, oh, I have a school in New Jersey where I knew it. And all of a sudden you get there in the schools

in fucking Elizabeth, big difference, cocksucker. I was staying in Newark. Now I got to go 45 fucking minutes or whatever it is in traffic, I might get mugged. There's a lot of by the way is this, you know what I'm saying? Lee, how you feeling, Doug? Look at you, you're about to fucking take a nap. But I know you so well, I interrupted you mid-nap.

That's how good my timing's getting. You didn't see the nap coming? Yes, I do. I could see, look at your eyelids are purple, Lee. Oh my God. They're fucking purple. What'd you do? This is what happens when you fuck around

when I'm not around. This is why you always got to stay in tip-top shape because I'm always watching. But you team up with Paul and by the way, you become Harvey, I only want to eat once time. I had three stars, wasn't it? That's not training. Three stars as you were doing six months ago.

Right around when you went to God Bells, did you do 10 swings and I don't know how you do 82. You maintain it, you got to take this shit up a level. You got stars here at the office, you come over, you don't say nothing to nobody, you're in training. You salute the flag, you got to open up with 800, 900 now. You're a different man. Sure, yeah, 800 a day, it's like a 2000 pretty soon.

Sure, we were almost 10,000 tonight. You checking that, you know? I don't want to do it. Roll back the tape. I have to do this, I have to do that tomorrow. I'll make this check. I didn't say nothing. So you're going to tell me the future

or you're going to cut me off? Joey, right now, I just got to focus on my, one of my businesses and my academies and... How many academies you got worldwide though? Anyway, we got like 15 or 16 now. These are all affiliates. Yeah, yeah, all affiliates. And I'm really loving why Jiu Jitsu at the moment.

I'm loving the train. I kind of, I got burnt out in it a few years ago, but this last 18 months, I've really got in a good groove and I'm just loving Jiu Jitsu. So my focus now is just on enjoying Jiu Jitsu. I'm not putting any competitive pressure on myself. I'm just going to be visiting all the affiliates, spending some time with my business partner in London,

working on the business, and also spending some time in Thailand for the next year or so, because I just love it out there, man. That's my happy place, Thailand. Then you kind of make it work. Where are your affiliates here in the States? I have one up in Oregon,

in a place called Klamath Falls. Shout out to Randy, Randy Stacey's. The guy runs it out there, very cool guy. And then I got one in Vermont, and Michigan, and the fourth one is also in the Northeast, but I cannot remember the name of the city right now. The name escapes me. I have, man.

You know, the marijuana smoke in the air and it empties your mind some time. Just being in this fucking room, you know, that's positive. Jesus, man. I looked over to Lee and I didn't recognize the guy because his eyes were like one-third the size they were when I met him an hour ago.

That ain't nothing. Coming back next week. Next week he's gonna pass down his eyeballs in the black. He's like, that's the goal. He's just gonna be looking straight up today. I'm gonna have to call CSI, wipe down the counter and get out of here. You know what I'm saying?

Thanks. You know what I mean? I'll leave a suicide note. It's over. I don't give a fuck no more. My mom is in the street. I don't know nothing. They'll come wake me up.

I'll be in my room. What happened? Lee, we found him in the office. No. Cry, I'll ask for sure. See, I learned that from OG, and we gotta ask how they died. Yeah, so tell me about these stars or what's the deal?

These are the stars of death, professor. Okay, this is like going to the fucking Abu Dhabi and fucking everybody up with the same fucking Camorra. You know what I'm saying? This is like the strongest edible you can get or what's the deal? No, this is just a little play thing we do. This is training.

Yeah, it should play. This is like that light ghee from Fuji. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're tremendous, they're not a lot. No sugar, you know, if you wanna eat an edible, you gotta eat these big fucking thing. Next, you know, I'm eating a cookie to get 3,000 milligrams.

This, it's 125 per star, all right? And they're light, they taste like cherry, and they also make purple ones. They made those with dragon blood, and those are 200 milligrams. Tonight, we ate not. 850. 850 milligrams. We didn't wanna eat the other one.

I was crying, I apologize. He can't see properly anymore, he's fucked. Oh no, I can see like a badge. I'm squinting. But, oh. Let's do this, all right? Since you're gonna sit there, I'm fucking nobody's talking.

We're talking. Everybody's looking at me like I owe him 20 bucks. It's not good, all right? First off, this show's brought to you by Datsusara, these bad motherfuckers. You know what I mean? I get to love these guys more and more. I love Chris, I love the product.

I'm gonna tell you why, they sent me a bag. I could fucking smuggle 80 people in that bag, and that's got secret compartments, Lee. So I got four outside compartments. I put my fucking, that coal towel that you put when you're getting, you dip it in water, and I put my nasal spray in there. And the other one, I put my cell phone

and my fucking thing, right? And the other one, I put my protein powder and the fucking little container of water. And then the other one, I filled the canteen with water, the big fucking water. They have a little knapsack that's completely different. You put your stinky shit in there, your socks, your stinky underwear, all that shit that's rotten,

and you zip it up. They got an overhead strap, and they got the strap right on the side. That's what I'm fucking talking about, you understand me? And if you look deep, they got two zippers, you open those open, that's where I got my knee pads. And I got a $50 visit to root Chris in there, just in case I fucking get a sudden urge for a steak

after somebody fucking puts me to sleep, you know what I'm saying? Don't take them, get me out of this little eight ounce for life for lunch. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, the bags are efficient to fucking, what's the thing that you put around your waist? The phantom packs. Last time I flew, I brought a phantom pack

to put my cell phone in there, the I fucking tuned the iPod, I put my vapor pen in there, I put my fucking anxiety medication in there, I put everything in there, I had my, everything, everything. It's a lot easier at security. A lot easier at security, you just empty the thing and give it to them and they look confused.

Like why are you still using one of these? Cause I'm a big dick, my glick bitch. Anyway, go to dsgear.com, not dsgear.com, you fucking momo the other morning. I went to dsgear, I couldn't find the great geese, get it together. dsgear.com right now, put in the word what, Lee? Joey, Joey can get 5% off, look at the geese,

look at the bag, look at the t-shirts, but most importantly, look at the phantom pack, you know, fucking be happy. This is an old school phantom pack. It's got secret compartments in there too. I can't tell you about those until you buy the knapsack. Then you contact me, I'll tell you where you can smuggle in there and like fucking 20 to eight balls of blood.

That's how I roll, I try to help people out. You know what I'm saying, professor, you can't be fucking around with these people. You're all right, professor, I'm happy. You're like the first English dude I've had, or South Africa, I'm sorry. You just got the accent I fucking love. It's like having a good looking dude

on the fucking show, what's it do? He was snorting coke at the Chateau Marmot. I forget, you know me though, I've been smoking bills for 18 years, things happen. I appreciate you having me on, George. Oh, please, please, please, it's been really fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love talking to Jitsu with fucking masters.

This is what I live for and shit. I always learn one thing, all right? Let me tell you this people, and you know I wouldn't fuck around with you. One of the best products I talk about on the show is Blue Apron. Why? Because you get meals delivered to your house.

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Listen where you're gonna get this menu. You got katsu-style cod with ginger rice. I got roast pork with purple potatoes. I got crispy catfish with parsley potatoes. Where you gonna get that type of action at? What do you know how to make? A hamburger, it ends right now. This is what I'm gonna do for my listeners.

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Blue Apron, a better way to cook, all right? Who's better than me? One more time for my man, Nick Gregorius. Gregoratus. Gregoratus, one more time for my man, Lisa Ayat. And I'm your host, Uncle Joey Diaz. Thank you for listening to The Church. You got some song lined up yet?

I know. What are you doing now? What the hell are you doing, shit? Really, heavy? What's up? You wanna know the song? Sure, why not? Just send it over the edge.

I'm gonna recall the ambulance before. What the fuck? Oh, no, no, no, no, oh, God. If you're walking on ice, your mind's a little dense. You know what I'm saying? Don't be rude in front of us, I'm host here, you know? There you go. Look, they just stuck to the chair like a soldier.

I love you guys, Stay Black. How about Trappled Underfoot by Led Zeppelin, cocksucker? Okay. So, this was brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with Blue Apron. You're also gonna get free shipping when you go to blueapron.com slash joey.

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made with hemp textiles. They have bags, geese, rash guards, and more. Use code word joey, J-O-E-Y, at dsgear.com to get 5% off of your Detsu Sara order. What we got? Oh. Trappled Underfoot. Oh, oh, thank you.

Man, you guys are proper stoned, huh? Oh, thank you. God damn. What's the name of this? Trample what? Trample. Look at this. Man, you guys are really stoned.

Look at the pictures, though. We don't fuck around here. We go deep. Jesus. We go straight to Brazil. We don't fuck around. We don't fuck about the Zika virus. Oh, Joey, that was fun, man.

It was fun. Let's just make jam. We're going to follow the dance team. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, Good on the free day, crazy on the land I'm out of my gasoline, I leave my work like a head Talking about love, talking about love, talking about...

I guess I'm talking in the mouth, I guess I'm talking in the mouth It isimaan Java Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm talking about love, I'm talking about love, I'm talking about love Oh yes, I'm telling you, I'm talking about love, I'm talking about love, I'm talking about love Oh, never mind suspension, come this good and hold

I'm so glad I took a look, so I can show you no Tell me my love, tell me my love, tell me my love Oh yeah, oh yeah Oh, I can't stop talking about love, I can't stop talking about love Oh, let me go down, go down, go down, go down, go down, go down I can't stop talking about I can't stop talking about love, I can't stop talking about more Oh, my baby, I can't stop talking about love, my baby, my baby, my baby

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey