Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #403 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt with Eureka Vapor
Episode Date: August 9, 2016Joey and Lee talk about Joey getting his blue belt, relationships, and prison."The Man" from Eureka Vapor also joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt, live in studio! Thank you for 400 episodes! This podcas...t is brought to you by:  Club W. Go to www.clubw.com/joey to get $20 off of your first order of wine curated just for you and Club W will pay for the shipping on orders of four bottles or more.  SeatGeek: Download the FREE SeatGeek app and use promo code CHURCH to get $20 back after your first SeatGeek purchase.  Recorded live on 08/08/2016. Â
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I
Can't get Lee Monday August 8th. Oh shit. It's the church
Oh shit
It's tremendous
We're here. We're ready to go. We're tuned up
Lee Syat's here. Eureka Vapher's coming and that's all that fucking matters. It's the church of what's happening now, bitch
What's up dog?
Whoo, I'm doing great looking good. Oh, yeah, nice weekend. You had your blue apron. Yeah, man
I could wait. Yeah, nice
You miss Paula. Yeah, I'm where is she now right now? She's in Paris, which is terrifying
And when does she come home?
Sunday. All right, so you got five more days to sweat it out bang couple out
Oh, yeah, don't worry about that fucking desires. I had a great time at the Cherokee Casino
Oh, yeah, I want to thank all the people that came out some
Savage gave me a bong another dude gave me a fucking cigar which I thought was a cigar
I got up to my fucking room. I looked at what's a cigar. I'm happy
I'm gonna bring it back. Give it to the fucking spirits on Monday
Sunday I get home. I open up the fucking cigar and there's a note in there and they carved out a joint into the fucking thing and
There was two hits of acid in the fucking lid. You understand me. This is why I love the fucking these last fucking
You know these towns Buffalo, Oklahoma all these towns these are the last fucking frontiers of civilization
The rest of you motherfuckers are start bucking it up and you're missing the beauty of what these motherfuckers got to offer
I didn't bring this a guard down with me
He wrote his hotel room on there and I'll tell you what man
We had to be up at five because the car was picking us up at 545
So if you're listening my deepest apologies, you told me the room number 407
But and then I saw it again on a note and I was like fuck I went back to the room
Sometimes I get insomnia and I walk around I go get chips or fucking soda
Listen, I went up to my room. I fucking only I was packed right even turn the TV on when I leave for the show
I'm already fucking packed and the clothes of the morning already out
So when I get up in the morning, all I gotta do is take a shower wash my little monkey and bang put my clothes on
I'm being banged but do I'm ready to fucking go
But the Indian casino was great nice people the people ran it were very nice. I didn't see a lot of Indians except the people work there
You know, you were saying it was very interesting just like talking to them and learning about their culture
Yeah, no it was real interesting. I started looking at the art and stuff and I started getting emotional
You know, it's just great stuff to be around and to see from time to time the people came to the show were fucking great
They drove from Tulsa, Wichita places like that. I want to thank all of you guys
It's a long fucking drive. We had a good time some lady ran out. She thought Jim Gaffing was there
Well, Joey was there slinging dick and giving out bubblegums. I while I was on stage by mistake
I said, you know, you guys are the last of the Mohicans. I forgot I was in the Cherokee casino and shit
Fuck crazy. I'm half retarded
That's what happens when your grandmother and your grandfather's second cousins
You know, I'm saying there's gotta be a retard somewhere in the fucking family. I'm paper
I'm not really retarded, but like if you see me like he's not all chinked up, but I
Am I am fucked up in real life? But anyway
What else fucking happened this weekend, Lee? What else happened? Oh, I don't want to talk about okay
I know a lot a lot of fucking people
It's amazing what people on social media react to it really is amazing
Friday morning. I got a flight of 6 30 at night. I
Got a kill all the Friday. You know what I worked out twice. I did kettle bells twice. I did two mobility classes
I went to the Y one day last week and just hit the bag to sweat
I was a little sore and fucking frat. You're right. I wake up. I go, you know what my wife's going to yoga, right?
I'll listen to the recording. They gave me the flappers recording. I was making notes on that
About 11 o'clock, you know what man? What the fuck am I gonna do here?
I don't have to leave here till 3 30. What then my wife doesn't get back till 12 30. What the fuck am I gonna do here?
I
You know what I pay for the jiu-jitsu. Let me fucking go down there. I got my gi on I go down there
I do the class towards the end of the class. He takes me out of the
Fundamentals class because I want you to spar in here today
And he makes me spar with the chick to fucking fights with her. She twists up my arm
Then after class, I'm standing and he goes we got some promotions today. So I thought I was getting a strike. I
Didn't know I didn't see any stripes on his jeans
So I didn't really say nothing. I
Said ain't gonna be me which I didn't give a fuck
You know, I just go to jiu-jitsu dog and all of a sudden he goes Joey come on up here
I'm giving you a blue belt my fucking heart stopped me
My one knee went out from under me. I couldn't fucking believe it
You know, and I'm not a fucking blue belt by no means am I a blue belt. I just go I
Just go and I'm a little old and I move a little slower, but I'm fucking trying
You know I'm saying well, it's different because we were I think maybe maybe we were talking about it separately
But how about you go in a karate and then like how you how there were belts for karate?
But the belts like that there's like a form and maybe have to know certain things for jiu-jitsu
Isn't it more just like where your instructor thinks you are? Yeah, well, he thinks you're at so it's kind of weird
I'm fucking terrible. So I didn't you know, and I'm moving a little better. I'm doing some moves a little better
I'm sweeping people
You know, I just don't lay there anymore
At least I got a little love on the bottom now. I get you in a deep half and shit like that
But it's so weird how I got a lot of emails on Facebook and on G mail and people were really surprised and it's
quitting
When you do something and you don't like it. That's not what the plumbing school
One day. I'm like wait. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. These are clean pipes. I'm gonna have to be doing this with real-life shit
I don't want to do this. I didn't do it. I quit
You know when I was electrician I did it when I realized it wasn't the pay I wanted I fucking quit
There's nothing wrong with quitting something if you don't really like it
But you shouldn't quit something because you you're bad at it. You know what you're good at
You know what you're bad at in life. Listen, if you made me fix my car right now. I
Just shoot myself. I could change or I could change your flat the whole time
I'm doing that I can do the whole time. I'm doing I'm scared shitless
Well, I change a flat to change all the whole time
I'm thinking the cars will blow up or something like that
You know when I when I went on the road when you go on the road with a car
That's not a brand new car. You learn a lot about tricks tape
Fucking the shit to seal your radiator
You just learned so I learned things from different people, you know, I learned how to fucking change your flat
You know, you can either pay 18 bucks
You can buy three dollars for a thing of all and put it in there yourself and you know see where the measuring stick is
You know, I mean you learn to do all these things, but I have no aptitude for that
I have no aptitude to take apart a computer and put it back together
My wife could do it. You give her a fucking week with anything an oven
Anything she'll put it back fucking together. I don't have that fucking aptitude
I have aptitude when it comes to talking to people and selling shit and doing machivious fucking things. You know what I'm saying, but I
Never liked wrestling. I
Just can't it just came during football season and basketball season
So it was kind of weird for me. You know, I'm saying it was like a pick of all of them
I never knew existed when I was a kid. I never knew wrestling existed till I moved to North Bergen
You know, I never fucking knew by that time basketball was more basketball was more important
So I never knew nothing about it. So when these guys are talking about you Jiu-Jitsu, I would just play it off
Like I don't know what the fuck you're talking about
But I started just watching it alone without the UFC like just watching a Jiu-Jitsu match
And I was blown away and I knew I wanted to at least try it. You know I'm saying and it's been rough, but
It was better than the alternative
What do you think the alternative was the alternative was what happened to me in 1979?
That's my alternative when it comes to that shit
you know, I got into karate in like 1970 as a child and
Wasn't great at it, you know, God knows I wasn't good at it
But after about two years, I got really good at it. I always had good flexibility and I could jump high
So my kicks were good and my balance was good
My punches, I don't know if they were strong or not, but I had I could do forms and I wasn't bad
You know one minute remember one minute. You're at the end of the class
You know, like when you get to Jiu-Jitsu and you're the lowest wipeout
But if you stick with it for a while next thing, you know, you're in the middle of the line
You're in the middle of the line
And but I think me at least would mess with me a little bit is
Like yeah, you might be in the middle of the line
But you know like already some of the other kids are better like not kids
But other people are better than you and that was I
feel like ego comes comes into it a lot because
You were just talking about how like we're all good at different things. So sometimes I'm thinking okay
I shouldn't try to be good at something. I'm not good at just because like why why why try to force it
But then with Jiu-Jitsu you said it wasn't in your wheelhouse
But you stuck you stick with it like how do you know when to stick with something and went to like jettison it
Well because of the mistake I made I made two mistakes before I was 20. I
Quit two things that I fucking loved
For no reason for drugs and stupidity and just I don't know why I quit karate in 79
I still beat myself up. Do you want me to tell you why I just had too much shit on my plate and
Karate was too fucking far away
It was it was like going to Higgins from here. That's what and I had to do it by bus
So it was my whole fucking night, right? Yeah, you know and I had the stamina like I would go to school
You go to basketball practice and then shoot the karate go home eat and then take the bus to karate and catch the fucking adult class
Well, when would you do homework when I get back from karate at 9 30?
Oh, I do homework during the day during little periods or lunch
Like I was really good at I've always been really good at organizing time to do shit
Well, you can organize time, but I think you're gonna run into it soon. That's what it was
I'll see that there was it was it was it wasn't kids. It was that at that time. I was playing basketball
You know helping my mom at the bar
Trying to have a social life in North burden
And at the same time three nights a week. I'm in Union City doing fucking karate
And I'm fucking 13 years old 14 15 16 and I did this I did this all through from the age of
11 to 16 I stuck it out with the same karate teacher in Union City. I
Went from one belt to maybe four belts later with it when I got there
I was a certain belt, but he made me start over
And I stuck it out
But because I quit that I quit high school. I
Quit that I quit high school, but the thing I love the most was basketball again
Another thing I saw myself as a complete fucking
idiot
But I wanted it so bad
But I practice morning
noon and night I played morning and noon and night I
Seeked out the best competition to play morning noon and night and
I started and then I went to freshman year and I didn't start and again ego came into fucking situation and
That situation ego came into situation when I quit high school
necessity
Necessity made me quit situation, but necessity
What I needed was a good or bad. That's the question there
What made me quit karate?
To be honest here, yeah, I wanted a party
Those kids didn't fucking party. How old were you though when I quit karate?
15 Jesus, that's that's I hadn't even thought about partying at 15
Like that's that's the thing that I think is so for two years. I partied along but very secretly a
couple of joints a beer
You know nothing hard nothing
And by the time
Yeah, I think I did THC is something a mescaline and then I went to karate for a few months
And then I just knew I outgrew the hang section of it like those kids weren't
Interesting to me anymore. Like I wanted to be around women. I wanted to fucking smoke pot
I wanted to walk around that night. So I wanted that shit in my life instead of what the karate people had to offer which is health
focus
You know camaraderie and no drugs
Yeah, that was too much for you as a kid was too much so now I go 30 years later. I remember when I got into comedy
But when I got into comedy it took me about a year to commit and then I went to New York
And I never forget on the on the drive here with that girl. I
thought to myself
I've been doing I've been I've been fucking around with this for two years. I've been fucking around with comedy for two years
selling drugs doing blow
Canceling spots. Yeah, I do a weekend here and do okay, you know shit like that
If I do this complete move I'm doing it's because I'm gonna give my life to comedy
That's the only way I'm gonna do comedy and I fucking stuck with it Lee
I don't know Lee if you knew me at that time when I made that decision. I just said I'm doing it
I'm fucking doing it every night twice a night if I have to three times if I can't
I'm just gonna keep doing it doing it and doing it and doing it. I just made my decision sometimes in December
You know, I was at V-Mac. We weren't steady. He went away for a week
That whole week had me all fucked up. And like I said, I went to flappers. I saw the Alberto
I went over there. I tried two classes. I said I want to sign up and
Before I gave the money I said if I do this it's because I'm gonna go every Monday and Wednesday
That's it. There's no other that's on the schedule when I make my schedule for the week Monday and Wednesday
It's always 12 o'clock BJJ. If you got something an envelope or a significant meeting
I will cancel that and try to make it on Tuesday. I
Don't have acupuncture no more on Tuesday
You know, she went back to Marina Del Rey. If you think I'm going to fucking Marina Del Rey on the Tuesday
You better have the rock ten times
So I could go on Tuesday now
Like I didn't go today because I had those two meetings
But I knew I had Tuesday and Wednesday and Wednesday. I'll go to the drill class tomorrow. I'll do kettle bells
Well, did any of it because a lot of the reaction I saw like the vast majority of it was positive and and not even
The negative reaction but like sometimes like some people like wow, that's I'm surprised
Like there was it that we did any of that motivate you like what like why are they surprised that I could do this?
No, I wasn't surprised. No, I didn't take anything negatively. I
Know what I'm doing is good and I'll tell you why because let's pretend I go to class twice a week
Okay, you do 40 fucking push-ups
Every time you're in class that means I'm doing any more push-ups. So if I didn't go there
That means I'm doing any more jumping jacks. That means I'm doing any more sit-ups. That means I'm doing any more fucking
Triangles that means I'm doing 80 fucking
Hip escapes that means I'm doing 80 of those fucking things where you stretch your arm out to to reach
You know, that means I'm doing so many fucking things. I wasn't doing
So even without the jiu-jitsu even without the jiu-jitsu. I'm getting that from the program 20 push-ups 20 full full 80 push-ups
80 fucking
Squats, you know
And then you drill
Even if I was a fucking pansy, even if I said well, I don't want to fucking spar because I'm an actor
I think when I went that they also looked at the actor aspect of it
You know, there's a lot of actors that are in these classes up here. So they walk in there late
They fucking get on the phone halfway through the thing. Everything's there important. I never act that way at all
I don't go to class unless I'm there 15 minutes before class. I
Do the warm-ups. I
Finish class. I never have to leave if I have a meeting at 1245. I just won't go to class and insult the class
You know, but that's one of my karate days. That's how it was. You don't show up fucking late. Don't show up dog
Don't even show up. We don't give a fuck about your excuse
Like that's all those little things
Make you a better person in real life. I
Know it probably varies, but is there like a core group of people who go to the same noon class as Monday?
Yes, yes, how much more group that go Tuesday and Thursday because they have jobs. Oh, yeah, absolutely
but like how
Like when you were saying how you don't want to disrespect the class by like showing a player being on the phone
There's something when there's a group like that for at least in my experience
Like as soon as a phone gets taken out, like everyone starts looking like it's it's very noticeable
Like so people think oh, it's just a phone like who who's gonna care. No when you're working out hard. It's like when someone I
Don't know if it's disrespectful. It probably is but from it just it just it's very noticeable
Well, it sticks out, you know, I've been to gyms in Beverly Hill dog
Where you know, everybody walks in there on the fucking phone loud
They don't give a fuck if you're doing a jumping jack. They don't give a fuck what you're doing
You know, they put their fucking gear on they don't warm up
They go in there they do two moves and I saw it and then they get up and I got a meeting at one o'clock. So that's it
You're more important than us or because they're that they don't they missed a warm-up and you just struggle to the warm-up
Why I live to struggle for the one yeah my warm-up with my hyperventilation
So I live to fucking struggle through it by the time I'm getting up. I'm sweaty fats burning. I
Could smell the fucking bacon around my ass burning, you know, I could smell it
You could you know, you could just you start sweating man. I love that whole aspect of it
This is a martial art is not
About karate and killing people
It's kind of like the respect you have for people but more important the respect you have for yourself
That makes you have respect for people you come in you're a new guy. I'm not gonna try to punch in the face
I'm gonna tell you what I put your hand and do all those things and even if I don't get the workout
I want to my workout was teaching you today
You know the first day of class making you go home feeling good about yourself
Or because someone did that for you on your first show a lot of people did it for me a lot of fucking people did it for me
You know, so all these little things are what that's about
It's a way of giving a little piece of yourself get a guy on top
You ain't gonna do this grab that shoulder do this choke and you take a little choke
But you're teaching him you you let him fucking smell it. You know I'm saying you let him smell it
So
I'm really proud. I'm proud. I got it. I'm gonna keep fucking going like I said
For me it was more of an example thing for my family
So when she get told that she sees I do something three times a week come snow rain
You do it and your children start watching and go fuck you do that daddy him up. It doesn't have to be jiu-jitsu
Could be a karate class could be a class about fucking electronics
Could be anything your kids aren't gonna want to do that stuff and they don't see you doing it daddy
Why do you go to class you're an old man because I want to learn
Then they get enthused about where wow, you still you know, whatever
Whatever the fuck it is
You're just not sitting there watching TV like the general American fucking family
Then they get enthused. Can you take me with you?
There's a classes for kids. Yeah, they got a fucking math class at night for kids and boom there you go
Now you're doing something with your child. Was that done with you wasn't done with fucking me and
I didn't invent this. I just thought of I just thought that that's why I got into jiu-jitsu
I got to jiu-jitsu two months after she was born three months after she was born. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah May of
2013
my mom wasn't
She was always really big on like I never had summers off
like I from the time I can remember I was either at a camp at like
Like honestly if I think about it, even though I ended up hating the camp
I went to this like arts program once like this art summer thing and those own nerds
But I took all of the video production courses and then I'm from there
I went to high school and took all those and then went to college
So I used to hate it because all my friends would be at home watching TV. She always had your busy. Yeah, she always had me busy
But then like it's
That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself as a parent
To like I have to like set it like always be setting an example. Well, what's the pressure the pressure is either set the fucking example
Or pay for it when you're 22 and you're 60 and now you're having a mini heart attack every time they fucking go on the phone rings
You're following China's 80 a man, right? Yeah, you know, that's how you take your child and teach them little fucking things
It's not by making them read a book or fucking what he's gonna learn on fucking ABC calm
It's gonna be from what he learns from you as a parent
You know, listen man, like I said, I fucked up as a parent the first time so it's very important to me this time
I might die the fucking moral, but I'll know that I did a hundred percent by these motherfuckers here
You follow me and that's part of the big picture
Me going there at 12 o'clock every day helps my whole life
It helps my fitness. It helps my comedy
helps my
confidence
It helps my relationship with my wife, you know, it does
92 things good, even if I don't get good at jujitsu
Did you think did you ever think about that?
Like that's why I'm addicted to it
Because I know that I'll never be Boucheshia. I know I'll never be John Evans
I know I'll never be half these guys hang out with it. Hey Bravo, but doesn't matter to me
I just enjoy going and learning something new every day
You enjoy going and but that there's a very real possibility that you could be you could become a black belt
There's no reason why not. I don't even think that way
Even the blue doesn't even
Fucking blue belt like I'm embarrassed to go to class tomorrow with that blue belt down the little piece of me fuck yet
I know I worked hard, you know, I'm saying
But I don't feel like a fucking blue belt
But maybe this one, you know, sometimes a mental thing gets the level going. There's a very very very
Interesting show on HBO right now, and it's called in the night. I haven't even heard of it
It's an old show that was shot a couple years ago with John DeTorre in fact the executive producer James Gandolfini
Right, there's about a kid who supposedly rapes and kills a girl and they catch him an Arab kid and he goes to jail
And it's funny because I watched it last week. I've been watching this since the first came out
Episode one was slower than fucking molasses
But I knew there was something there when there's a show that's slow. There's something there
They're building yeah, yeah, they're just building and episode two was really good and episode three was really good and episode four was fantastic
So now we're on to episode five
An episode five is basically about him transforming in the print in the jail system now
Now he's no longer in jail
Now he's becoming a part of the jail
But it's funny because all last week
I
Did I did a podcast with somebody about two weeks ago and they were asking me if I ever had any problems when I went to prison
And I told them honestly looking back. I never had not one problem
But there was one
that was one
And when I was telling the story
I you know, I got in the car later on and I made calls to you and to my wife, but I kept thinking about that story
How
This guy fucked with me from day one
But how I sucked him into a web and it took me two months to catch him in the laundry room
Maybe three months. It took me to catch me in the laundry room. Do you know why?
Because when I walked in there, I I wasn't a part of the fucking prison
But as I sat in there all those months and I was surrounded with those savages
I became that
You know, and I was telling my wife that I grabbed them
You know, I've never liked long hair on guys
There's a thousand things I don't like on guys because if you get into a fight
An earring a nose ring long hair slippers. They could step on my fucking toe and break it
You know, there's a lot of things that you could avoid. You know, I'm gonna fist fight. I'm a slick guy. I'm older than you
You got a nose ring. I'm ripping out your fucking nose ring
And that's the end of the fucking fight right there. You yelling and screaming for two hours down the street
Well, I'll just pull you by
You know, that's it
You had to fight. Why not?
So when I caught this kid, I caught him by the hair. He didn't cat, you know
The first thing they tell you when you go when you get locked up is
Don't go into weird places unless you have somebody with you
So if I see you I'll go leave walk me to the laundry room. Let's talk
I'll give you a cigarette or whatever the fuck
And you walk me for some reason this guy was like there's clicks in prisons, you know
There's blacks and Puerto Ricans and in this place it was blacks and Mexicans
But there was two clicks for blacks. There was the graveyard blacks and there was
Graveyard was a certain character. That was a crazy black dude. Then there was the
chicken chicken heart chicken hawk
Crew and I was part of that crew. I was friends with that crew from the kitchen
and it's one
Why was it called the chicken hawk because that was his name chicken hawk
His name was Spencer Antoine, but they called him chicken hawk. He was from New Orleans and he was in there for fucking
What he called that shit manslaughter
So he was the leader of that crew. He was really fucking crazy. His eye was crooked. I loved them like an uncle
Then you had the graveyard crew. You had to be careful with them
They were hard-hitting motherfuckers from like hoods in california and shit
They were all like crips and bloods and fucking all this other shit combined and
You didn't really mess with them. I talked to them, but I didn't mess with them. I got I didn't go to their reunions and
No, dog. It's serious. Why the fucking go over that the graveyard gang
Yeah, that was his name graveyard because he killed so many people. So they just called him fucking graveyard
I didn't know they had reunions though. Yeah, they had little parties five or six
Black dudes would jump up and down and play dominoes and drink
And then they had this white crew, which you know, there's a white and they weren't white supremacists. They just white
But then there was this little motorcycle fucking little crew
And he was part of that fucking dummy crew
And the leader dummy was this dude. I can't remember what his name was
tramp
He was old. He was fucking my age now
Wrinkled always stunk like fucking leather and shit
Because you could wear your clothes or jail clothes and he would still wear his leather in there
And I don't even know who he was affiliated with
And there's a bunch of other stinky dudes around them
And then you have like this the white crew I was tight with because I was tight with John Clark
And me and John Clark had done speed a couple times on Mondays and went to play basketball
John Clark was a bad motherfucker people had known him in there
The point of the fucking story is that
It took me three months to get crazy like really fucking prepared for it
Like I got into a fist right then I got kind of beat up
They broke it up because we knew each other
In the age unit
But by that point I was still kind of soft
This guy was fucking me. He's the guy who took a shit in the box
And put in his drawer those uh those fucking uh government cheese boxes
I took a government cheese box took a shit in it and put an american flag in it and put the box in
And put it in this fucking drawer and he would ask people smell my room
Does it smell weird in here?
And finally I felt like a month he found it and the piece of shit must have been 12 inches when I dropped it
Had shriveled up
Like eight inches the flag killed over the three soldiers couldn't even hold it up no more and shit
The flag had killed over from the fumes
He was fucking furious
And he knew it was me and he's in there for manslaughter
No, the white dude was in there for something stupid dirty hair that dude with the long hair that was fucking with me
Yeah, and he hung out with the bikers. I don't know what he was in there for
I never really fucking became friends with him and then he was make little remarks
I know the fuck put this cheese in my drawer. I'm gonna look at look watch your back
He would say that shit. So I watch I never forget it was cold
And the steam was coming out of your breath
Right and I watched him that morning. I don't know why I was sitting by the library steps
And I'm watching the laundry room and I see him go got a basket
And when I went to see him go got a basket I shot to the age unit
Because the age unit was next to the laundry mat and I popped my little fucking head out to see if he was coming to the laundry room by himself
and there he was
Like a little guppy coming to a shark
He just came right to me. So I jumped in the fucking laundry room there
And I just waited and when he turned that corner
I just grabbed one side of his head and wrapped it and you should have seen his funky little eyes
And I grabbed his other fucking side of his head
And grabbed that point by that point. He was slow. He still was holding on to the laundry basket poor bastard
He didn't see what crawled up on him
And I just kept banging his head off the fucking wall until he just went down
I just walked out of there like that nothing. He never even said nothing
But I just kept banging his head off the wall. That's what I had become
Because I was surrounded by it. It's not who the fuck I was. I mean, I was a little retarded. I was a little crazy
I could be known for doing stupid shit like that
But that's that's what's going on with this show right now
So this week the motherfucker
They called him into a thing some guy threw gas at him or something and they made him punch the guy
And he punched the guy and he turned around the guy kept talking shit. He started beating the fuck out of him
This is how brilliant this show is they show the transformation
Then five minutes later they show him shaving his fucking head
Getting ball like fucking taxi driver like Travis Bickle and tracksy died whatever his fucking name is
So they're starting to show his transformation. I don't know how many episodes they actually have
They're up to episode five. So I really don't know. Well, how
What are what is the type of person like?
Who's like the leader of a jailhouse gang?
Or like you're like, what's that person like when you meet them?
Well, first of all, they're not really
A leader or something like that. It's not like they like the black dude Antoine Spencer Antoine Spencer was in there
for uh
manslaughter and he got 12 years cut to six
But
He was very quiet. He read
He was loud in the kitchen, you know, they're black dudes
So
In my world, it was him and this dude from Buffalo that had their own little black crew
What do I mean by that? They shared food
At night we would go over
And watch a game or Antoine would sneak something out of the kitchen and we go to his fucking room, you know Antoine's
But room was maybe four rooms away from mine because they put the kitchen workers all together
Okay, and I had beef with dirty head dirty head and even work in the kitchen and they put them in those barracks
It's like God put them in those fucking barracks for me to fucking pull his air and bang his head off the wall
Like he was the only non kitchen worker that was in those barracks
Jesus
But so what you're saying though is like so it wasn't like the tip movies or to you know, it's not as long
Yeah, no no no like he's giving orders and like they bring him stuff
No, no no no no not even like this show i'm watching now. I've never seen it
To that extent maybe in the deep deep deep prisons
You have that I don't think it's that dramatic
but uh
The white dude the white dude gang
Pretty much they all bowed down to John Clark. John Clark had money
John Clark had been through the system. John Clark was a badass
John Clark got drugs in jail. John Clark had a great old lady
John Clark had what all those guys didn't have
So they all bowed down to John Clark
You know the black dude had a big support if you have a lot of support in prison people see that
And they kind of navigate towards you because they don't have that support
Do you mean to go from outside people respect that a lot if you have a lot coming in from the outside
There's people who have nothing coming in from the outside. They have no, you know, their parents cut them off
They don't have a girlfriend no more. They don't see their wife. Their wife's a divorce and then they start dating their friends
It's a fucking horrible
There's horrible situations
And it's like the nail in the coffin. You know what i'm saying? You got arrested
You lost your job now. You're in prison now. You're in prison your wife calls you and says hey, i'm dating your friend or
You know, we don't want you around no more your kids don't want you
You know what i'm saying? There's some really great support systems
And there's no support systems
And people see that people navigate towards money
People navigate towards that
Yeah, because i mean how
How like how much of your life
Requires you to have money or something in prison like if you had no money coming in and no job
What would prison be like?
It'd be out it'd be hell with no support
You know again, I find
You know, I have all these things in my head that I have this anger with my ex-wife
But again, even though all the hatred I had towards her
She was there for me when I was locked up
She took care of my paperwork. She took care of my banking. She took care of the fucking bills
She went by the apartment, you know
So that helps out a lot, you know, some of you put 20 dollars on your books
Some of you come see you one sunday that helps out a fucking lot
You know, that's why I still write phil
You know, he's in jail
I write
I try to write him every fucking 10 days
Because I know as soon as I write phil four days later. I got a letter back from him
He's excited in the letter
You know, because I know
Any friend of mine who got locked up I try to mail him letters
$10 money order whatever you could do because I know it makes their fucking day pictures
You know tickets from a comedy show
You know, whatever phil gets fucking happy
And that's why I do that because I remember myself getting letters
When I went to prison, I started writing a lot more letters
I really found the power of the letter
You know, even though I could so what I would do is Lee, I'd call you the first time
And go, yeah, you heard and you go, yeah, have you met anything to me? I get your address before I hung up
And I'd start writing you letters and it would make you write me letters
But wow, you know, so you were you were write letters
Like how many would you write a day?
You know, I would just write them. I didn't have a lot of people to write
I was writing a few people in New Jersey apologizing to them
I would write
My girlfriend's dad
I was communicating with him a lot through letters. He liked it. I was communicating with uh
My girlfriend through letters and on the phone, you know, we would talk on the phone and write letters to each other and
Are there people who you didn't tell like obviously now with the podcast and stuff people
Most people probably know but did you were you trying to maybe keep the secret from anybody?
No, because
I knew at first I didn't want the people in North Park to find that
Because I didn't want them to say see we told you
All right. Yeah
That's the worst one. That's the fucking worst and I mean I got arrested two years after I left North Park
And the word spread like wildfire that I got in the rest of the kidnapping
That's people were toasty
Really people toasty
Saying like told you so yeah, you know people were fucking toasty
I never thought about that. Do you regret leaving north bergen or do you think you would have got arrested there too?
I would have got arrested. I would have got killed in north bergen
All honesty all fucking honesty
Without even thinking about it now thinking about it and talking to sabbatino the other day and talking to my friends
Yeah, I was going it was just a matter of time
I had done too many little things and they were starting to add up
And people who mattered kept hearing my name
You know when I go I don't stop. It's like anything else. I don't stop
Think if I didn't have the podcast my wife the baby
Comedy jujitsu and all I did was snorkeling steel. What would I be likely?
I'd be this crafty
Only doing everything illegal
So you would hear about me every fucking day I was up to something
Jesus
Every day just something but and then there's no rules like when it's illegal so you could you could go crazy. Listen those those last
18 20 months I spent north bergen every time something got wrong. I got to blame
Let's pretend I rub 80% of it
But I got blamed for everything
Everything there was a time if a car got stressed scratched
I got blamed for everything
If I was in the vicinity I got blamed
I remember jimmy burkle who brought me to colorado
He went back to jersey. I was in colorado
And I remember talking to him on the phone. He goes, you're not gonna. I guess I can't believe you called
We were just talking about you. I go what happened. He goes my mother's house got robbed in north bergen
And somebody brought it up and he goes it can't be him. He's in colorado. I talk to him every week
But that made me think about it like that was fucking five years later
That was like 1995. I was already out of jail and shit
10 years and you know
He told me he goes, it's funny. You called
My mother's house got robbed over the weekend up in north bergen
And I thought it was you. Jesus not the mother somebody brought up
He could have been cocoa and he goes no cuckoo some fucking colorado. You wouldn't do this. I think we would rob my mother
it
It's really like whenever I think about jail or prison
It's like my worst nightmare and listen to you talk and then things just looking at you and just
Where you where you are now? It's when I hear jail or prison. I just think life is over no matter if it's for a day or
200 years
It's just that's how it makes me think
But it like
It looks like it's possible to like have all like a life after prison
Which if you would have asked me before I made you oh, it was that there's not like what would mean life after prison
Like I would have assumed it was over
What what is it? What's that word core recidivism?
Yeah
You have to look up the national recidivism rate
To see how many families
To a person sees his value in life, you know
And it's a lot it takes a lot it takes a lot for some people
You know it took that situation in colorado
And then another situation in seattle, which could have got really ugly and it didn't
To scare the bejesus out of me
Jesus
Oh my god
I also thought what you think also like most americans like most people listen to this podcast. Yeah
But if you go to prison, you're done for eight years four years five years
You know, I watch a lot of law and order whenever you come over I watch a lot of law and order and I think about those sentences
Whenever they give somebody 15 years, even though it's just television. I still when the episode ends
I still think they're for five minutes and go 16 years
16 fucking years
You know, you know, that's like that's 2000 to now. What were you doing in 2000? I was in sixth grade
Can you imagine? Nope
16 fucking years of your time when they told me nine years. I almost shit my fucking pants
I was I thought
I never saw this
I never saw this
When I went to prison, I thought I'd have a life
But I didn't see
anything positive
Like I thought the rest of my life was gonna be hard when I came out of prison
Like you'd be like like that's a subway worker like my biggest fear. No, I wouldn't yeah like a subway worker
Like somebody struggling, you know, somebody
addicted to drugs
which I was somebody
That was always struggling, you know, I would live in an apartment with three guys and
You know, I wasn't like the constant head or
One of those guys that wanted to be cool. Well, I never really thought I'd have it together
Let's be fucking honest. That's why comedy in the beginning was so easy. It was no responsibility
It was a car and you it was a fucking pretty decent car and you
You didn't need a house. You got a p. O box and you got a pager
That's it. That's comedy
It's that fucking simple
to disappear
It's that simple
You look so you you could have been on the road forever
Like it was that maybe a thing that maybe I'll I'll be a road comic forever just doing
I didn't want that triple gigs trouble ones. I did not want that
I did not want that
I did not want to be
55 and to say
You know la's for fucking cock suckers
I didn't live there because whatever I rather do this shit and just party and drink every week on the road and tell stories about
Partying with kentison or Led Zeppelin. I didn't want to do that either. No, that's
No, that'd be that guy on the road either. That's not a fucking life
Everyone thinks it's a loser. Do you want to hear I have the recidivism rates? I can't say that was it's it's a it's a lot
It's uh, and this one's from 05. It's the most recent one I could find
Um, within three years about two-thirds get re arrested
so
in
Three years two-thirds and then uh, within five years about 75 percent
Are back in so within five years 75 percent of people. All right, so I got let out
In 91 out of the system and I got arrested again in 95
But knock on wood, I never got arrested again knock on wood
Knock on wood and now those who rest in seattle were just
The tail end of the kiss of death
It was the tail end of
Life showing me how easy this is if you
Recognize it and move on you're smarter than this shit. And that's exactly what happened
Well, I mean that's true
But how lucky what we were just giggling about it
But how lucky are you that a guard didn't see you hit along whatever the dirty hair his guy name was
Like you could have gotten 10 years out of to your sentence
Or something. No, but I knew with all the guards were oh, right. We're right
Right, and there was no cameras in those days like they're on today
But but something another prisoner that happens a lot is getting time added once you're in prison. Yes. Yes. Yes
I was very fortunate and then well, let me tell you something. Let's get something straight. Okay
From fucking 90 to 95
I
Did not live on a fucking thin line by no means
Okay, I lived
I wasn't the old cocoa
But I wasn't reformed either. I still had the fucking seven-year scratch
I was still not and that's why nothing was going right
Because I was still borrowed from Peter to pay Paul
You know we talked about this on this podcast constantly when you borrow from Peter to pay Paul
You could do it for three or four years eventually the walls crash on you
You could play that drug game for years
I would play it and give myself a time frame when I had to be out of town
I knew it. I knew what it was coming to an end
You know, I had done it. I had done it so many fucking times
What happened was from
90 to 95 was
I kept pushing the envelope, but I pushed the low envelope. I pushed the mr. Meena envelope
Oh, whenever I would go rob at those places I keep it on the 400
You know I'm saying like I whenever I would return stuff. I keep it on the 400. That's mr. Meena's all day long
You understand what I'm gonna say to you. So I do the little things you knew the limit
Yeah, I somebody came to me and said we want to buy an ounce of coke. I don't know what you're talking about
At least Syac came up to me who I know and I see snort every fucking day come up to me and says
I need an eight ball
I would try to make a small 50 on you. I was always on the move
And if that didn't work, I go to a pen store and rob a bunch of cross pens and sell them to car salesman
I always knew how to flip a fucking dollar
Worst case scenario you get your fucking wedding band and pouring it and get 100 bucks
And get an ounce of weed and start selling it or whatever. This is this is my mentality. This was my mentality
This is why you never get ahead of yourself. You never get ahead when you have that mentality
Once I gave my heart to comedy and I said, you know what I can't have that in my life anymore
This is the route I'm gonna leave
But it still followed me
You know dice comes on and dice reminds me
Of my first 18 months in LA. They were also very not too happy
They were not
Nice fucking days for me
You know, I still had the stripper girlfriend
I had a beef. I had three or four beefs at the comedy store. You know, he told the stories
I had a beef with
uh
These bookies these fake fucking new york city bookies. I had to get a gun and go get money from them with josh wolf
That I got a thousand stories that happened in those 18 months
Once 99 came and carol left
That was it. She took the kiss of death
from me
She was the kiss of death
It was five years of debt and they were all her
Some people would just like that two people just don't get along. They create a weird energy
You know, I just it was that's it. You know, you know how joe rogan says one day. I got funny
Right. Yeah carol left
That was it. I didn't have to that my energy from her had shifted
Just her her just the fact that she was gone it was immediately you you changed
fuck
Gone everything changed 22 pounds were lifted off of my fucking. That's why sometimes
You don't know what's really bothering. It could be a simple relationship
You know, you don't know I knew it had an end
But I was addicted to I was like we had great sex
We had good times when we were together. It was just a three-day effect. We just hated each other
On the fucking third day, you know what I'm saying
And yeah, but it's amazing that's give me five
It's amazing that that like just being in a bad relationship can affect you that much that much
That much my anger rates. I had a lot. I was going through on personal level with addiction
I had a lot I was going through
On a personal level with my first daughter in that marriage. I was fucking broke
I was striving to do comedy. I couldn't get ahead then I had this fucking broad, you know
tormenting my life
And the sad thing was I let her
By staying with her at that age. Absolutely
That's a fucking literally but you look at these things later on
And you reflect on them and you help people you talk to people who I was in a situation like that one time
Pack your bags. Well, I love it. Look listen. Thank you fucking bags
You know, sometimes you don't see it. Sometimes we don't see this human beings. What's going on and it happened to me twice
happened to me twice happened to me when I got married
I've said this to you a thousand times happened to me when I got married
As soon as I got married everything changed I went into this fucking depression
I was yearning for some and it wasn't drugs. I thought it was religion. I made my confirmation
I did this I did that. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. We broke up. It was like a fucking door opened
So
Does that happen now, but obviously not with your wife maybe but maybe like other things in your life
So like I was interested if like something starts going long in your life
If you start looking at different aspects of your life to see where the problem could be
always
always
Always as you get older you start looking at
How does this affect me? Right, you know, I was thinking about how november 7th or whatever the fucking day
This i'm going to nine years
Without doing blow
And this is what I could tell you you heard all my stories, right? Right in those 27 years of all those disgusting drug stories
uh-huh
Either as much has happened in these last nine of being sober without those type of drugs and that type of environment
And they've all been a positive thing
It's a lot of funny shit
We've seen a lot of funny shit when I farted outside by the lady and she walked into the fart
I was thinking about that too. Yeah, we've done a lot of funny shit. I'm not saying that we're completely innocent
Right, you know, we've let on the jojovi witnesses
I seen jojovis today and wait and waved at him and threw a kiss at him
They started walking I ran upstairs. There's no apartment. They were knocking downstairs. I'm still an evil fuck
I never said that
But it's that other side. It's that
Fort I was involved in the circle of fucking never-ending bullshit
Whenever I'm involved in something and it's not organic
That's when it backfires. I mean
Then I'm organically doing it for all the right reasons
And just you not just doing it to do it or if it doesn't when I fell in love with terry
Even though I wasn't doing the right things on the outside of the relationship. I was doing the right things with her
I was talking down the right way. I was trying to
Do the best I can at that time
And this is why I have this today because I really really found love and I really really liked that
From the beginning there was no by the way
With cathy there was a by the way and with carol there was a by the way
And to be honest with you there were the both by the ways
And that's not the by the way they go into a relationship with you know
No
but it's
How do you
Tell someone to get out of one like that's that must be a tough conversation I have to tell who
Anyone anyone I can't tell somebody that's on my fucking business. They have to see it leon
And sometimes it takes four years. Sometimes it takes 10 years. Sometimes it takes 90 days
Each of us are completely fucking different in what we'll tolerate
Right. No, we're different in what we'll tolerate but
If I mean if I was in a bad relationship, I don't want to know
How could I tell
Unless you come over to my house crying with a black eye every fucking night
I can't fucking tell right that's true
You know, so that that's the thing
I can't really see into nobody could see until it was going on with me
Until I got fucking arrested
You know
With her and then I went back with her and every time I'd be with her a month later. I get fucking arrested
I've been with thousands of women. I never got fucking arrested
And you can just just her being there just makes you get arrested all just just there was just a bad energy, man
Yeah, sometimes two people just don't they think they're making something happen, but they're really not
It's like you're taking two steps forward one step back
Right, were you two very similar as people? Yeah, I had a girlfriend. There was drugs involved
Both of us did drugs. Listen. I've never a relationship has never worked with me when we both done drugs
You know, I'm a smoker and she's a drinker or vice versa
Every relationship I've had that there was cocaine involved that I won't they don't around no more. You see him around
No, I don't see anyone on no no no no at all
So you have to be with the right person for the right reasons. How the fuck do you know? Do you think at 25? I fucking know
I was the wrong person. I was in love. I thought I was in love. I was hearing
This is what you got to hear in high school. This is what people do. They move in together. They play house and
Everything's going great and I laugh at your jokes and I love you and I love you and
This is what it's supposed to be
I am blown away by how many people I know
Who are getting married and moving in and already having kids?
Like I'm 28. I realized that that's not too young for that. So there's some people like a lot of people are 28
But to me, I'm not anywhere near ready for that. Like it scares the shit out of me. Let me ask you something
At fucking 50. Do you think I was ready for this?
You're never ready for nothing Lee
You're never ready for nothing. That's what makes life life
I wish I could look at you and go, you know, I don't want to get married in three years and then
After two more we're gonna have children. I'm gonna have little Nicholas
And a little fucking Nancy and we're gonna dress them up together. Who the fuck knows?
Who the fuck knows?
Nobody says to you we planned this. No, we got drunk. I banged her in the fucking car and here we are
But
The mess of art is the differences
The differences that I didn't do was
Is this love or am I getting married for a child?
Or am I getting married for convenience? Okay, these are the questions. We never ask ourselves
You follow I'm saying to you. This is the questions. We don't ask ourselves
Or just because you've been together you're fucking making eight bucks an hour, right?
Right. You're fighting for your fucking life the insurance people looking for you. You meet abroad
She asked you to move in with it. You move in with the fucking girl
She tells you not to pay rent. Why'd you move in with a necessity?
Do you really fucking love it? Yeah, you might love it, but you don't have a necessity now. There's a problem
Now she's got a hook on you
So the first thing that goes wrong, I guess what's gonna happen. She's gonna fucking throw you out in the street
So when you move in with her the first thing you better do is get yourself an apartment on the side to start working for the fucking apartment
So when she throws you out, it's when you get that apartment together that you follow
I'm saying to you some people just have hooks in your net shit
So every time you get together with somebody for a different fucking hook
For years, I did that
For years, we all get together for the wrong people for the wrong reasons
Bon Jovi said it best. I got lucky the first time
I
Hope the same for you. I hope the same for everybody
But then there wouldn't be life. There wouldn't be divorces. There wouldn't be divorce attorneys
There wouldn't be people with stitches
There wouldn't be people restraining all this was tonied by the cocksucker
The church pitches monday august 8th
You want to go get them?
Hurry up
Wait, there are the confuses of your little fucking cell phone
Somebody
Who's getting on the mic when he is quickly quickly
Didn't see
I still got the boxing problem. I got no pens here. I have the pens at the house
And I take the tubes from here put them on the fucking plane here, but these things
Can I get some of those
My boys when you rake a vapor are here
The ones I use that are really fucking hit me of those long tubes you gave me
These are good
What's this here 90 90 percent
What's this there casting this sucker
Tremendous
In the studios of my boys when you rake a vapor we've been family for a long time tell them talk to these fucking people
What's going on? Well, yes getting close getting close there
Yeah, so we just came out with the new uh clear addition to our line of products and um, it's taken off fast. It's uh
Pretty much pure thc
again, we're getting up to that 90 high 80 percent getting all the uh
Getting all the byproduct out of there taking the terpenes out reintroducing cannabis terpenes back into the uh
Into the oil to get the viscosity down so the wicks soak it up
And then in turns gets to the uh heating element and it's uh, it's taking off real good when there's some awards out there
It's uh, it's a fun times now since I met you to now how much
Has the blend changed?
um as far as this new product the clear with the short path machines and and uh
Distillate where people are calling it. We have a slightly different process. It's uh, it's just it's another edition of machinery and and and uh chemistry
But as far as the amber the amber, which is the honey oil the co2 honey oil
That's the same, you know people getting queued out there and and doing the um
getting getting the um
adding the uh vg and the
Propylene glycol and other stuff coconut oil what you were saying you had a problem some months back right some months
People give me a lot of vapors and people are giving me fucking ash and
And what happened was I was smoking it so much
And then when I would go on the road, I wouldn't smoke weed with all that stuff and I wasn't finding myself coughing
And I realized all that shit. They were fucking giving me
Was kind of shitty
Yeah, I could feel it the next day
I could feel like after a weekend of smoking a fucking vapor pan and shit you always you
Whenever you had a vapor pan
It used to give me a headache like I've always gotten headaches from them. That's why I've never really been a huge proponent of them
It's like it's tough, but yours like it doesn't really happen. We don't cut it, you know
What do they cut it with vegetable glycerin
Propylene glycol
Coconut oil those are the three. I buy a gram. I buy a gram in one of those fucking things. How much
Real fucking reefer am I getting from us?
No from a regular compound. Jesus. Yeah, it all depends across the board some of them, you know, the testing isn't
Isn't really uh, there's no compliance out here as far as testing in california
But uh, I could tell you from the colorado operation people are averaging
Average in anywhere from 20 to 50s, you know and cutting and with a lot of cut on there
Now whether that test was before the cut got in there or after
You know, that's that's a good question, but you can taste it
Well, if anything's tasting like cherries
Blueberries, you know, it's cute, but we don't know what that long-term effect is going to be here
We are doing medicinal and we might be giving giving people pneumonia watering the lungs or there's there's a there's a
Long list of things that suppose it happens supposedly happens from that
We don't know because it's new the e-cigarette
Stuff is new, you know, it's only blown up in the past five years give a take that's really hit mainstream
And that's what this is emulating that the the vapor business is copying that so
Long-term effect god knows, you know, we really really don't know, you know, and it's hard to say because then the
People saying that the e-cigarettes are getting
Polyps on their lungs and stuff
I don't know if that's true either because the guy's been smoking a fucking pack of cigarettes
You know a three 30 years whatever the case may be and now it's the vapor that's getting made you have that long problem
I you know, I gave them up
Because I could feel it too when I wouldn't smoke them and then when I'd smoke them I could feel the difference
So the vapor wasn't working. I'll tell you what it's fucking really bad
Those things that people put the fucking juice in there
And then blow the big clouds those people might as well put a gun to their fucking heads
Because you really don't know what the fuck is in that
When they brought me that somebody brought me that one time and I was like, what's this and they go
Well, you take this and you fill it up and once I got to fill something up
That's where the party ends all that shit and have it because I got paperwork
I'm a comedian. I write I come back and I will add in this oil on my shit from your fucking bong
I have a heart attack dog. I got shit there. I got paperwork on top of the fucking desk
So I don't want no blow torches. You know, I don't want no dabs. I don't want no rocks in my fucking house
I don't want no explosives. You know, this is it's it's
I'm old enough to see it. This is listen, 1980 people were jumping up and down in studio 54
Everybody was snorting coke getting asked the fuck to the ass. That's it
And then four years later, I'm in a hotel room with a black guy in a hooker
And I'm fucking smoking fucking
Crack out of a glass next, you know, I'm at east west
And I bought the free base kit, you know 1984 you could buy a free base kit at a head shop
The glass the silk stocking to blow torch to fucking all the things and I took it and went to my friend's basement
And we must have went through 11 grams
And I couldn't believe what a wasted time it was
So wait a second. We were having a great time here. You do a line. I do a line
I put a line on your pussy. You put a line on my helmet. We suck each other off and we go home
Now I gotta go upstairs
cook it
Put it through a fucking sock let it dry
Patiently and then I gotta put on a thing and it disappears like that
Disappears like that. What happened to the coke? I don't have no fucking idea. So it's always something like
Once I saw that I go I'm done
I'm gonna snort coke till 2007. I'm never gonna smoke it. I'm never I never fell for nothing else
I fell one time then like in
87 these fucking savages at clubs in new york city
We're taking coke with which is the same thing
uh
Bacon soda and you put in the microwave oven
And you take the rocks out and you and you take nicotine out of your cigarette
And you put the fucking thing in your cigarette and you light it up and next thing, you know, you were seeing godzilla
I didn't like cigarettes then so people like you do the same with reefers
So they would put the coke rocks and then they get a lighter
And you burnt under the joint you could see the coke spreading onto the paper
And you'd smoke those fucking things that was over there were bazookas
But you know what people are losing their fucking houses over that shit. It was crack. Yeah, that's all the bazookas
That's where the ads started. Oh, yeah
You know, it was like a thousand ways to smoke crack
But nobody could figure out you're smoking crack, you know, I mean, listen the shit you buy on 180 a street
Is not the shit we were doing. I mean the shit you buy on 180 street is the shit you buy
Is the shit you find in the oil business here in california. There's no compliance
So in the crack business they take a pound of coke and they get, you know, three pounds of crack
But they cut it with turpentine. You know what that's like snowing that shit
You know, people say well, I don't have no lung capacity. I started blow for 27 years. They cut that shit with gasoline
What do you think that did to the inside of my lungs? I got no little flamboyant. I'm
Omibia has left. I got nothing
Yeah, whatever the fuck you call those when you smoke, you got little hairs
My hairs are done. That that thing is balding and fucking Joe Rogan that thing is my lungs are bald jack. So
Now talk to me about
I had a CB. I love all this stuff, you know, I love smoking. I love getting fucking high
You know, when I said we got people I'll go to a weed store on Sunday go Joey somebody left you something
They know you come here take this and I'll smoke it and I'll go in fact somebody gave me
A vapor to try but they gave me your cartridge
I didn't realize it till I got to the whole time room
And I opened the envelope. They gave it to me an envelope and you actually have to
Text the number and if you light the vapor
But the funny thing was they gave me your bottom
I was like, this is fucking interesting
So they gave me their fluid with your bottom poaching motherfucking poaching motherfuckers
So you guys were here in california and then we spoke about a year ago and you had to colorado
And every 90 days we talked about colorado and you were like, holy shit
And I told you the first time I go listen
Those are come that's a complete different world
And for them to survive
They got to be wider than white
If it's an inch
They stick to it
It's uh, it's a great it's a great city, you know, I'm doing we did a license and deal out there with a group and uh
We set it uh set it up and um staffed it and it's uh, it's running like a well-oiled machine
The um tough market out there, you know
It's very developed the uh the biggest guy in in my part of the uh industry is from there. That's his backyard
and um, it's uh
It's interesting. I've made a lot of good good people out there the cbd's out there. It's huge too
You know, they're doing these uh down in pueblo
They're doing these hemp farms, you know
acres upon acres upon acres and the and it's really going to kick up in the next uh year or two
But as far as the uh the lab that that was built down there, it's um state of the art. It's real. It's real
What did you build?
Yeah, yeah, watch I what I helped build with the uh with the owner and um
We got about 4,900 square feet almost 5,000 square feet
um, they got they're running two custom made uh apex uh 20 liter machines
um, and they're producing and um, they're
About to come out with the clear the machine that we have uh, colorado's never seen the machine
So it's in denver fire department's hands right now
From my understanding they were telling me it's the last phase before it gets uh
The uh the stamp and we'll be up and running. Hopefully they'll be
I I'm hoping within three to six weeks something like that, you know, it's fucking booming out there joey
I mean you look across the skyline. It's it's just it's like downtown
It's almost it's almost not as bit much as downtown la down here, but I was like holy jeez. So um
Anyway, that's the production out there is uh
Is going to making some uh traction some waves because the big difference is again
We're introducing cannabis terpenes back into it now
Let me give you a little thing here at sea level right the viscosity oil is no problem
Just put the royal right into the cartridge and the and the wick soaks it up and gets to the heating element
Well, when you're at 5000 plus elevation and the high desert the arid no humidity
This stuff is like molasses out there. You need it to be like a maple syrup
Now let's do but break it down for you. So we uh figured out how to get the uh, we have the cannabis terpenes
Like I said and we introduced about about nine percent back into it
You know to get to loosen it up to get it to that maple syrup state so it can get soaked up by the wick and the uh
As you would say the flavor is tremendous
It's it's serious. It's serious and it's in uh people don't even know what to do
Not to what to do. It's uh
They haven't tasted something like that out there now. I've got to be quite honest with you because we entered a blind
people's choice um
Contest it was called the 7 10 sesh out there
blind
Hands down landslide victory, you know, they didn't know who we were or what it was
It was not even a close second according to the guy that was throwing the contest the guy that was throwing the contest
He decided to enter us into the shatter category
We play second I said, uh, we wind up in the how do we wind up in the shadow in a shadow or oil
Because because it was better than a shadow and you and the only reason you win is because you guys were oil
Swear to god. I was like, I was like, okay
You guys are on to something I guess the guy that I that's staffed the place that's managed and he figured out what the deal
so it was
It was good and then uh, you know the uh outside is coming in, you know, it's uh
Not always the easiest thing, you know with the new kids on the block
We might have a name here
But uh for the new kids on the block over there, but it's uh, it's good. I'm I'm feeling confident for these guys
When are you going back to done?
Um, I'll be back there next week. So I won't see you this weekend
No, I was looking forward to seeing you guys this week
I'll be there thursday friday and saturday jumping up and down so
I could just imagine
How fucking crazy like I've been there maybe three times since this is going on
And I've seen the the three-day effect. It's like when you go to new york city. Yeah, I'm going for three days
How much can you really see? You see the outskirts, you know, I'm saying
I still haven't gone back to boulder and seen what that shit's like and how the weed stores are there
I love to go to Greeley
I love to go to all my old fucking horns long month and just to see now
What time do these weed stores stay open till? Um, depending on what part of like denver is uh,
I want to say seven o'clock
And then other parts like uh, uh, glendale
Which is your cherry creek border there their midnight few places 10 10 o'clock
It's uh
They get they got a good thing and they're open at nine in the morning right and early
There's not a st- there's a few and far between that are an open nine in the morning
Interesting thing is you go down to those border towns. These guys are seeing a thousand 1500 customers a day
a day
And you pull up to this place and you're like, there's nothing around where are these people coming from what are they?
You know living on the rocks literally, but they're coming in across the borders and yeah, I come across the border stuff
Yeah, no, there's a lot of open land in caught world. Could you just buy up like because like I've driven through it
Could you just buy like
Land out on the highway and just build a weed store out there? No. No, no
It's not that easy at all. They're not uh
The the market's a little saturated which actually the uh zip code that we're in in the denver proper was is considered a saturated zip code
And uh people people are fighting back and forth, but the amount of money it's bringing in, you know, there's a
There's a 23 24 tax on the sale of recreational
There's not a bad freaking school district in the city. You know roads are good. You know, it's it's beautiful
It's building and I'm not it's obviously it's not all the marijuana. It's a good portion
You got the tech boom, you know, google's coming out there and so forth
But it's it's something to see man beautiful city good people. It's uh, it's it's uh food is good, too
You've been there during bronco season. Yeah. Oh, yeah
tremendous
I was on my balcony people go fucking crazy when they won. Oh man. Yeah, people go fucking crazy
I was there when they were losing
I was there those years when they would have parties and parades
and uh
Fucking explosives and they'd have a Super Bowl party and fucking loose
so I
This is what I gotta tell you like
I grew up in new york city and I had great weed. I had to go into Harlem to get like chocolate tie weed and shit
When I went to colorado, it was a complete different world for me
I went to colorado as a 19 year old
And I was getting fucking
Stoned in that fucking altitude
I was getting fucking ripped up the first time I smoked was out of a bong that passed out last
Went backwards had to wake me up with ice on my head and shit
So now if this liquid's gonna get clear
That is clear. This is clear. Yeah, that's what they're clear
Not what is this here? This is sativa nikka sativa indica
That's yours. This is very fucking nice
It's uh
I'm proud of these guys. They did some uh heavy work, man
A lot of r&d goes into this. Let me tell you what I do with these
I can't smoke them all day
But in the hotel rooms
In the mornings, I get blasted with these
I get blasted to the point where like I forget I gotta go eat breakfast
But when I get up right when I get up in those hotel rooms on friday and saturday if I don't have radio
First thing I do is get a cup of coffee out of the fucking thing. I darken it up
But they want four cups just one cup
So it's fucking strong no matter what it is hotel brand
Savoy duke whatever the fuck it is. It's coming out blasted
While i'm drinking the coffee
I roll a joint to take downstairs
However long it takes me to take that joint downstairs. I'm dicking around the computer. I'm fucking around on twitter. I'm writing jokes
I'm writing my daily routine
Sometimes I look up from smoking your vape, man. It's 10 o'clock
I've been sitting there for two hours. I gotta go down because breakfast and I shut down on 11
You know what I'm saying?
But that's how strong this week. I put it on the periscope
I did it in the hotel room with the fucking thing
And for some reason I got two tubes one hits harder than the other one the other tube down to the end
But it's those old school cartridges those long ones. You left me something here. That was really dynamite in there
I don't know what the fuck I took all of them out of that box
I yanked all of those motherfuckers out of there
Tremendous tremendous shit. So now what do you have in colorado? Can I walk into your store or you you sell them to different stores?
We're wholesale. It's uh, uh, it's a it's a lab. It's a manufacturing lab
um, and we are doing tours we hooked up with uh, um, these uh
Lemo services they pick you up at the airports and they drive you around and give you the tour and then drop you off at a bottom breakfast
high-end tours is one
That i'm really uh, I really like working with these guys and what they do is they they pick you up at the airport
they bring you to my facility and
You tour the facility you see what's uh, what what the moving parts are we give you the whole lowdown
And then they and then we take you to uh, then they'll grow if there's time as you know
It depends and then what they're doing. Uh, they got a pretty good thing to a prefix menu like you know because you go into these stores
You know somebody you see your this is your backyard, you know these stores, you know in and out
So you know what you like or what you don't but then you bring 30 40 people off a bus
And you put them into this thing. They don't know what the kid in the candy store is an understatement
They're like, what's this what's that?
So they want to set it up and get them the best everything and prefix menus and it's uh, it's working out pretty well
It's working out this high-end tour high-end tours now. How long has it been illegal?
Two years a little over two years. I gotta be honest with you. This is gonna kill you guys
About three years ago. I got hit up by some kid who was into the podcast
And he was like, listen man, I go to school in bolder
You know, I've been talking to my friends. We have an idea where we uh, he just said about pick people up
he wanted to
For me to pick people up in a car and drive into different weed stores and take them to a bar and take them to dinner and
He had a couple of investors. This is crazy
And he goes, I'd love for you to be one of the drivers
I was like, when would I find time to do this? You know what I'm saying? Like
When would I find time to do this?
And he didn't fucking stop like he was hitting me up. He was hitting rogan up. He was hitting me up. He was hitting
You know, I have no desire to be a driver. You know, I mean not right now
Where were you 10 years ago when I can fucking use you?
Now I don't want to fucking drive around and honk at me. I don't even want to drive for myself
you know, so
Hopefully it was one of these guys
They pick you up at the fucking airport in a limo
Take it to a weed store and then take it to a button breakfast
And you get to tour the facility eureka vapors facility and see the actual extraction process the lab
It's pretty uh
Now the button breakfast break the button breakfast down. I want to hear about this shit
They well you pay for the room whatever x x amount of dollars and they have care packages
And then you can and you can indulge and have your little edibles and they show you where to go and they have little
excursions and I think they even
I think they even souffle some food up for you with the infused products. I'm not exactly sure about that though
Something else
It's something else. It's fucking 2000 dirty out there already like they've already moved it that fast
And they got up and and let's say you don't want to stay in a hotel. These guys can hook you up with uh, they have they have
Partnerships with houses
Apartments condos, you know, let's say, you know 15 you guys you want to go to aspen. They'll get you a mansion
You know if you want
So it's an all-in-service
They run a well run a well
Very well. I'm uh very impressed on how they do it. They they they move their operation around
and they got anything from 55, uh
People buses down to if you just wanted a Cadillac truck, you know
Anything you want just merely let's say you go and just go to a fucking weed store go to the extraction process
And just drop us off at the button breakfast. I got a Denali. I'll pick you. What's the bed?
What's the bed? But what's the best button breakfast?
And I could smoke button the whole time room and everything
Ah, yes. Yeah, no shit
And for breakfast I go downstairs and during my eggs. I could just whip out a number
And it's all over but the fucking shot jack right there in the breakfast room
There you go, you know
what
What most people understand is
I came from the standpoint of leaves building me a thousand times where I'll either join up
Anywhere
like that fear left me
30 years ago because I grew up in
Late 70s early 80s in New York where there was a thing called the
Fucking junkies and they were everywhere and they would fall asleep on the trains
The buses the fucking sidewalks waiting for the light to change. Those were the best
They'd fall asleep waiting to just push them over. Then they'd say who the fuck pushed me
I don't know man. I'm just saying you didn't nobody push you you fucking felt kind of something
Then you'd run away and shit. They go come here you fuck whatever
So the smell of marijuana compared to this godzilla next to you at the fucking bus that's not with a drool
I mean they would drool
They would take their dicks out and jerk off on the bus the fucking 70s were horrible in New York City
Horrific. Look at the video from the 70s from New York City
Fucking filthy
Fucking filthy the city. So somebody's smoking pot. I'll never forget
In 93 I was working on 57th and 11th selling cars
Like I was on 55th. Let's pretend
57th is the big street. You got to walk up
And I could walk up and it was we'll let him in tapes and you know me guys
Before I left fucking work. I go to the bathroom row a number
So once I hit fucking 57th, I'd start smoking
And I would smoke past people and their faces would drop like that whole
genre had disappeared from New York people just didn't take a join out like the fucking mid 80s
That's when Giuliani got all the yeah
I would smoke up 57th street and people would look at me walk up the hill like what the fuck's he doing
And it still didn't stop me from smoking. I'm one of these people in my mind. It's been legal everywhere
Since fucking I was a kid. It's acceptable dog
If you come over here and say something the fucking people across the street from me
About three months ago made the biggest mistake
They made the biggest mistake the goofy lady with the blue and the boyfriend that always wears the fucking Sinatra hat
That half a fucking Momo
She came up to you and they she goes do you always need to smoke on your balcony? We could smell it
And I just basically looked at it like said like fuck you and kept walking with my luggage
It was on a sunday after I got off a six-hour flight
You're gonna come over here and be cute. I'm taking the luggage out of the car
I could feel her and her boyfriend walking over
They live across the street from me
You know, I always smoke on my fucking balcony. What do you want me to go smoke?
It's my fucking balcony. I pay rent up there. This little dumb bitch asked me
Mm-hmm. Why must you smoke up there? Why would you like for me to smoke you fucking moron?
So wait, not like your next door. You mean like across the street across the street, though
They sit outside drinking beer all night those two fucking idiots and their friends come over who have hat-ons
They have hats too and they wear sandals fucking too
And they think they're doing like a make-a-love commercial from the 80s. They're out there and they're all uglier than that
Both of the broads are ugly. Both of the dudes are fucking ugly
I don't I wouldn't invite them to nothing those four fucking people to nothing when I invite them over there
She's pale as fuck
She's pale as fuck with these fucking shorts. You got a flat ass
She's got a hairdo from the fucking go-go's from the 80s
And she's gonna come tell me not to smoke fucking reefer on my balcony. Get the fuck out of here
You and your boyfriend with your fucking college shirt. I need this shit in my life
You should get like a fan and just blow it towards her
I'm not I just keep listening to people next to me. They come out at six
There's a lady who looks like her husband beats her
She walks out of there every morning. You gotta fucking hate what you live about. She walks out there at six
With another french poodle that looks at the husband kicks four times at night, too
They walk past me every morning and every morning they look at me and I got that pipe in my hand
It's about 6 15 and you have to see the look on her fucking face
And then I have two old ladies who have a german shepherd that I'm smoking
I gotta put the pipe away because the german shepherd likes me
So I gotta stop what I'm doing and go over and talk to the german shepherd reeking of marijuana
Reeking of marijuana and what else is there?
As somebody else who always sees me out there puffing
The black lady next door. She just don't even react to me no more
I know it destroys her but I'm not that fucking smoking for some people black people gotta know it when you smoke pilot
We have the two black ladies over here. We're gonna know it. We got the two the black lady who threw us out of the office
Over on Burbank Boulevard that black woman. I don't know what the fuck's up with black people no more now then
Oh, I need this shit. Let's take a weed. They don't like it at all
Yeah, in my mind, it's always been fucking legal. Do you know what I'm saying?
I'm one of those fucking old school in New York because listen if I'm over here stabbing the motherfucker
You got all the right in the world to stop
Oh, thank you. If I'm over here smoking weed keep fucking driving. They don't look at it. It's a two fat fuck smoking weed
Talking about their high school days. That's it. We ain't hurt nobody
It's true, but I got scared like I I tried to walk with the joint once and I just saw a cop car
And I just threw the joint away. Fuck. No, you could smoke right next. They don't love morons. Don't even know you could spark right next
Don't start looking around
Oh my no, no, no, no, no, I thought I was gonna get arrested. No, they won't arrest you. Do you just do it?
You're cupping in your hand and you keep walking
You look around like for a fake address and wait for the light to change for a fake ad
You got to watch the fucking light remember the
The the jersey yellow last what it's how long is a light and how long is the thing I forget? I don't know
Do you know? I used to know but I was you know
I used to know the timings and shit if it to stop something you just cup the joint in your hand
And the smoke will go the other fucking way. I've done it a thousand times in front of cops
But if that stopped the light you got a few minutes to hold that joint
Yeah, and eventually they're gonna see a fucking smoke and put the fucking light on you
Yeah, that's what I didn't want. They were out of light, but look they didn't see me think I was behind them in a parking lot
And I just got too scared. I got arrested for smoking reefer
Yeah in 1981
No, I got arrested for smoking reefer
In January of 1982 and I thought my world was over with guys
That was one of the most scariest arrest
I was ever
ever involved
For the first time when I was laying on the floor getting handcuffed. I actually thought about
What are they arresting me for for reals like is this a robbery I did?
That's how bad it was and it was all over a fucking 75 dollar bag of weed
Because they were looking for people selling drugs to kids
It was about they got on and I never went to this weed place
I knew I knew it existed and I knew it had good weed
But I always stayed close to the bridge. I didn't want to lurk around the city
So I would get off the bridge 178th street now and always go to the nearest stores around there
For some reason that day. I'm like, what the fuck I had the winning team in the soup ball
I picked up 800 dollars on 19
Let me walk around the fucking city with 800 go eat and I walked all the way to this place
Because they had good chocolate Thai weed. It was like two in the afternoon. That was the other fuck up I did
One where you supposed to do it
Maybe at one maybe at lunchtime when there's more traffic on those streets
If you're not going to come over at night and hide and mix with the other cars unless they look when they see three white kids with jersey plates
You're getting pulled though
Really tool. Yeah, you're getting pulled though. This is 30 fucking years ago. This is 35 years ago
You see three fucking white kids on 178th and then in a fucking car
Like a nice car. You're getting pulled over. Is that like Harlem? They're gonna ask you. How are you?
What are you doing this part of town? I'm here to visit my aunt really
Where's she live
What Puerto Rican housing?
Around here there's mrs. Syat. Fuck and live at
Take yourself and your drugs and get the fuck sometimes they just and oh listen
95 percent of the time they let you go guys
You know what they said to me
They said there's only two things white people do around here buy drugs and get assaulted
You look like you're up to both of those
Jackson heights and they let you go and they let us go. Yeah, they stripped us down. This is in the 90s
They stripped us down and really right down the sidewalk. Yeah four of us. I was about 16 years old
They didn't care about the lights and they were looking for cops now in 94
It was a little tighter and 94. They were already what they would do is if you came over with your car from the uh
George Washington bridge and if you copped right there
On the way back
They would clock your pet your plate
They didn't matter if you went on the lower deck or the upper fucking deck
They would tell you go on the lower deck. It didn't fucking matter
And brother by the time you hit the jersey side, there'd be a cop there
Waving you in
And what they waved you in
done
Because if they searched that car the car gets confiscated
It's interstate fucking you're done. Yeah
Don Lisa and they would fucking go to the engine
They would ask you why the fuck did you go over there for 10 minutes?
They let you get away with you dropped your girlfriend off one time
Chopped my girlfriend off. What the fuck is wrong with you? She's Spanish. I can't date a fucking Spanish girl
She works at the med center. Check her out. Her name is Debbie. Whatever the fuck
And they would look at you and they go right get the fuck out of here. They had dogs though
They had dogs
So you could drop 80 fucking names. So why wouldn't you just go around?
So then you start going to a Lincoln tunnel and getting stopped and getting the hot dog clock and
At least you have an excuse a heavy detour
Not really
From all the way up there. You stay on the west side of Iowa. Yeah. Yeah
You stay on the west side of Iowa and you shoot down
And you go you have a favorite hot dog place
That's the only place you shoot up like 58 57 got those little fucking dudes and reeks and they sell the fucking gyros on the street
You go over there by that time. You're already tuned up. You rolled one up and you smoked it
You get yourself a fucking slice of pizza
A can of soda and you get back on the Lincoln tunnel like you didn't do nothing nothing by that time
They don't even know they did you're off the fucking radio. I used to walk over
Never got stopped
Never got fucking stopped walking on
if for whatever reason
You had to go back to like there were no dispensers anymore
Would it be tough for you or could you get right back into it? We would get weed tomorrow
Listen, there's a bunch of people who don't want to go to the dispensaries right now
There's still people who get
insurance benefits and medical benefits or
Veteran benefits that said listen man. I'm not putting my name on that fucking list
I don't blame and there's still a market for it people just going to go to the weed store and sell it. That's it
That's it people still gonna sell fucking weed. Yeah
Listen, what's going on in Colorado? You know many times
I've been in fucking Philadelphia and somebody's giving me a star
Or a gummy bear or one of these fucking things a cushy bear. You know many fucking times
Every fucking time I'm somewhere somebody gives me something for me to Colorado or California
Texas next week in Austin when you were in Austin, how many Cheeba chews that they give you?
Oh, yeah, Tom. Yeah, when you're in Texas, they're all over cheap that Cheeba chews all over fucking Texas
So that's that's the biggest business right now
You know, it's me you and him
You're the first week on the second week and with the third week the fourth week. We're like Jews. We take Saturdays off
So the fourth week
We're done. Nobody makes a move
So the fourth week you drive from New Mexico with your fucking
Colorado buffalo gear on and skis. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you got to make it look right
You could take three pounds out of there and 10 million and fucking little fucking Cheeba chews
And pack on five dollars to each Cheeba chew
Listen, if I didn't have this going on, what do you think I'd be doing?
All my boys in new york I have four of them with menus
And I'd email the menu a week before and say place your orders like then when you in school
And you got cookies sent to the school the same thing. You got to place your order and give us the deposit
Calabaza calabaza the moon. The bus will go so you understand me. I get off the plane. I open the suitcase
I give it to you. You give me my fucking cash
I close it and I get right back on the two o'clock plane to Los Angeles people do whatever you fucking that
And nobody would fucking know you think they're fine. They're not driving
No, either that or they're sending it
They're just sending it
I would I'd send it and send you with a suitcase every fucking Tuesday to see louis
on 155th street and have eight fucking meals going you understand me me you
My wife the baby everybody
Everybody'd be fucking mulling right now. This would be you crazy
With legit california weed legit. I take a picture of dispensary. I get the dispensary this
I get the dispensary to certify that motherfucker
So when I shoot out your house, I got the fucking certification like a like a babe bruce baseball card, you understand me
Oh, we're making big loot lee. We're like fucking blow. We're like fucking johnny depp and blow like george jung
Whatever his fucking name is let me get some shout outs and he was just down in san diego
To george jung doing what doing a speech at a convention last night
He's fucking crazy. First off. I want to give a shout out to room 407 for the cigar
He put he carved out the fucking cigar and put a joint in the cigar
Put it in you know those metal containers for cigar with the lid
And then the lid he popped out the fucking cork and put two hits of acid in there
You see i'm saying there's still good songs americans left
Whoever you are, I love you cocksuckers and I owe you one
Send me an email to the church podcast so I can send you a special present
My man steven walkins mcgill
Rizzo from 150 fucking fib street
Chad risa
peter garcia always looking good with the glasses on
My man who i'm going to see in new york's 30 next month the original fucking Puerto rican biker
renae and carcion
michael gabard
james sickler and my man jason
temple
Now one thing I tell you motherfuckers all the time. I tell people this constantly
I don't give a fuck how big the envelope is
You never ever ever ever ever fly on a monday
You see what happened to it?
Can you imagine?
I have a suitcase filled with chibichu's
Getting stuck at a fucking airport dog sniffing
There you are all chibichu the fuck up
That's why i'm always
Nervous for you when you take animals before you get to the airport
Like what happens if you get like stuck at like a like a 27 hour delay just kind of as fuck
Dog I found a death star in my luggage last week that was harder than I told you
You couldn't buy I find shit in my luggage every fucking time
I'm prepared for war
Do you understand me? I'm prepared for war. You think I'm fucking kidding
When I leave that house, I put a couple stars in me number two
There's there's always some edible in the bag in the emergency exit situation
That means if I'm stuck for up to 10 hours, I'm good to go
Number two, there's always a joint roll. So when I get off the fucking plane
When I get to the car the joint is ready to go with the lighter scotch tape somewhere around me
I can't tell you where okay. I'm always ready
There's no way I'm making it from the airport to the house without smoking a joint on the 405
That's just how I roll. That's just who uncle joey is playing the fucking simple you scotch tape. It's somewhere
You know me dog. I'm like a cuban james bun. I don't fuck around with the lighter
So there's no drama because I don't want to leave the lighter in the luggage and gotta open my fuck
I want to get in the car
Start it up while the car is warming up
I take it out of where it's hidden
I run up. I pay for fucking leave the airport and once I hit that 405 bitch that joint gets hit
I'm cutting people off on the hov lane smoking a joint going uphill on a fucking sunday on the 405
You want to ask yourself who's better than uncle joey?
Ask yourself cocksuckers
You always got to be prepared to be stuck at the airport. I got a vapor pen on me
Always got a tube and a backup
With both pens charged. You understand me ready to go. I'm old school
I got one of these for the backup and I got the button to work at old school like a motherfucker
Bam. I got three valium's on me. I got a stick
I got everything. I got a mitten and fucking eye-tuned speakers
You know me dog. I'm fucking james bun, but I got prescriptions
So if you stop me for those pills, I got a prescription for those anxiety pills
I just never take them because I don't need them
But if you're stuck at an airport for 10 hours, you're gonna need it with a shot of vodka. You get fucked up jack
Fucked up
If you tell me listen joey, you're stuck here for 12 hours
I might as well go to the bar eat a nice fucking steak
Get the best steak they got that motherfucker while I'm there and then pound them like berkreicher
Go to the admiral club and start telling stories about jews and heaven and all that shit
And crack motherfuckers dog. Let me tell you something in colorano in the old days
I used to leave I would leave
Aspen this is how fucking we thought I was guys. This is I'm talking about 1980 fucking
six
I would take off from aspen airways like seven
Which would get me into den the bay which would put me on a united flight
That would leave at nine o'clock
And would get me to fucking jersey by two o'clock
My friends would pick me up. I'd go to west new york make the drop walk make the pickup
Go right back and I'd take the five o'clock
out of fucking whatever
Which would get me to aspen
to to den the
By eight, but there used to be a nine o'clock flight to aspen
And you knew when you landed if you were missing that flight
Because it was the last flight to fucking ask me. I'd have eight ounces of blow on me
So I'd check them in those lockers
Because I'd have it on my body like a retard. You know me dog
I'm all in I'm all in if you're gonna if you're gonna get me you're gonna get me
You know on the way there would bring pieces and on the way back
I would bring up the fucking blow and I would get the blow below wholesale back there
And I would sell it fucking above retail back there because they weren't getting that shit
They weren't getting what we were getting in the east coast those days. Fuck no
We were getting that fucking chagovara shit. You know what I'm saying?
We would get that heavy-duty
Cuban shit
So I was bringing it up there and I would get stuck at the airport all night
Join out of my fucking mind
All night, I would spend 80 dollars and quarters getting the coke out of the locker
Because it's a dollar to get the key out. I would put it in there take a rock out and go to the bar
And then get lit up and then fucking try to get beers from somebody and then you would sit there once the bars closed it too
You would sit there till six
Just drinking water joined by yourself and put another dollar in the locker take another coke rock out and sit there
Go in the bathroom try to jerk off. I was a fucking messing
Did I get on the fucking plane all whacked up? Oh my god
One time I did everything but rape and daddy
What stopped you the police
No, I would never
She was some chick that was hot and she told me she wanted to do a blast. That's all I needed those days
When I was 21 22 we took a blast when he was sucking my dick whether he knew it or not
I was doing something I was and I started we started making out in the plane
I mean, I tried to fuck her in the in the third row like an animal
You know when you're from Jersey, you're an animal. You don't give a fuck where your dick comes out under a blanket at least
Yeah, no, I put the blanket over both of us. I was trying to touch your pussy, but didn't work out
My arm was wearing long enough. There was a person in between us
Jesus fucking crazy. It was crazy. I used to
How I didn't get arrested
at those airports
How I did not get arrested at that one time
two times one time
I had a jacket like Don Johnson
And in those days, there was no metal detector. There was just a guy
He took my jacket and searched it
He searched the inside and he searched these two pockets
The weed was in the outside pocket instead of having a flower. I had a joint sticking up like Louis Lamore
He actually looked at it
And he goes, what's this and I go whatever you want it to be. I'm in the rush office and he goes get the fuck out of here
He had no idea in my stomach. I had 12 ounces of coke
If you imagine they hit me for that joint
Then another time I was way gone already the cops knew what I was doing
They knew exactly what was going on. I was just a fucking pussy here from getting caught the Mets won the world series
When the Mets win the world series anybody know 86 86 there you go
I flew back that weekend
And I get to my friend's house and the water
The water broke in this house
The pipe broke. This is the savages. They were
They never called a plumber
They started snorting coke downstairs. I had to turn all the lights off. They were walking around with candles because you're electrocuted
So you put the fucking light on
They snorted coke for two days in there with their pants rolled up like fishermen
We would just pee whoever
We would just pee whoever I was trying to fuck his sister. It was horrible
I kept telling you go drive me to the airport. Yeah. Yeah the next morning. I can't drive me to the airport
It was like a $2,000 cab ride to county airport. I get to county airport is before the tunnels
You got to walk outside
So they would point you to the plane and you had to actually walk outside. I'll never forget. It was seven in the morning
It was freezing out
People had jacket time. I walked out there with a t-shirt and steam was coming on the fucking body like a doctor
Oh
We're very lucky gentlemen to all be in the room. We all have a story or two
How you doing over there captain? You rolled the blunt
What is that over there? Would you bring some colomato blend?
Okay, some regular on gene. I'm just
Fuck it. Look how he's high as fuck with that little vapor pen and stuff. So what's the vision you guys see for the future?
what's the vision
It's just uh, keep on expanding and uh educating people with their uh, with their ingesting, you know with this, uh,
Glycol pro with uh, uh, glycerin
And coconut oil and that's that's that that's it's not meant to be smoked. It's not you know
So just uh, and keep on you know, we got some good testimonials from some real patients, you know
it's uh
Some good stuff when you when you see go out there and see it and uh, and you put your hands on it
You really see what's going on with with the ailments and stuff and uh coming out a big cbd line
You know and uh some of the ailments, you know, you need the thc as a conduit for the cbd
You know very little bit, but you do and uh does it get you're high the cbd. Yes
With the thc of it. No, well, yeah, it depends on what the blend is
You know if you do a 50 50 or you know, what's it depends on what what ailments what's what's the least?
The thc you should have in the cbd like five percent
Can you get that? Yeah, you could do three percent. You know and not get high but still get the full better
Yes, yes for the most part and the cbd is that you know, I'll help you with pain and the in the sleep as well
You know and some uh edible companies were talking with that uh, that there's a lot of a lot of rnd
Being being done right now for when the for when uh, the rules roll out in the next year and a half
The next year and a half now, let me ask you something
I had a gentleman in here a couple months ago. Great guy
He's working with a guy trying to help him out. He's got a cbd line
Great stuff, honey cbdo 51 percent
You know no thc
You know and I heard the same argument
That it only gets activated with a little bit of thc now that's do you have to smoke it or at the same time or
Can I do a cbd and smoke rifa and get the same effect from the cbd?
What what some of the ammons like the epilepsy for the kid for the kids, right?
um
You don't need the thc. There's an argument out there that the thc helps it a little bit more, you know
Um above my pay grade joe. I you know have to be honest with you
I don't know but I know that there is other things that people say
In testimonials that the seat with the thc
does help
Like I said a conduit activates the cbd faster quicker, you know
This is gentlemen that i'm working with the cbd global extracts
this guy, uh, um, he really he really knows what he's doing and um,
He's uh, he's planning uh, he's working with doctors and stuff. He's doing on another level from just trying to just get it in people's hands
He's a unique guy. He doesn't even he doesn't even like, you know, there's an avenue
I showed him and it was more about the money and he's like, no, I don't need that
You know, he he's really cured his father's cancer. That's he was a he was a tech guy
His father got cancer and he cured it
He he singly single-handedly cured it with it with the cbd's and the thc
And then he just kept on snowball effect and he's out there making some major waves as far as I'm concerned
one one of the more serious people that I've met
doing it and um
I love for him to call in and you and talk to you, you know, he's uh
You know the amount of information he's got. Yeah, I love I really love to get to the bottom of this because I think it's the future
Yeah, I think cbd and everybody
I mean when he came on I had maybe 75 people who sent me emails that they're really interested in this because now they're saying
It's legal in 50 states. You can ship this stuff
But you can't ship it if it has the thc
You can ship it without maybe that's why I'm thinking maybe you could drop it
But I read some of the people who did buy it from the show
And I read his page in their testimonial. It was not pretty fucking impressed. Yeah, you know, like I said, I roll around a jiu-jitsu
I'm 50 fucking three
And I come home I make a protein shake I eat lunch
And I hit that shit in the morning and at night I sleep a little better. I sleep a little bit more solid now
I have my ups and downs would sleep
But that's because I fucking need nicotine gum and I'll drink a yu-hu at midnight
Which will fucking keep you up till six in the fucking morning. It's like 19 expressos and shit like that
How can people find out about your products?
Then go on our website. Eureka vapor.com. We're in uh
numerous collectors up and down the coast of cal
California and uh, Colorado as well. We're uh, I think we're in about 30
Plus stores right now. We're making uh
natural remedies, which is right off the 16th street mall
Dank which they these guys these guys run unbelievable business both of those gentlemen and um
There's uh, you know strain wise like this if you go on the website
It's got a list of where where you can locate us, you know, we couldn't uh, you know, california. It's medical only
Colorado there's recreational and med really. Yeah, so it's the lowest stream. This is all I gotta say
And this is all I gotta fucking say about this that
As you know, we're the thousand milligrams than other stars
We don't fuck around here
We didn't maybe fucking we did maybe five bone hits a piece, you know
Our tolerance is high, you know, we get he's embarrassed. He calls me some nice things like I ain't 600 milligrams and not napping joey
This is fucked up. Well, we gotta lay off, you know, we can't go every fucking night
You know, I leave him on thursday. He doesn't do nothing. There's been friday say hook so but the girlfriend
And he eats these things then we go deep on fucking monday and wednesday
I don't even know why didn't we do it at acid tonight. We just we just i'm taking i'm giving him some training time till september
We go deep every night every fucking night. I'm with together someone asked me last night
So one last time you took like a tolerance break and I was like
Hmm, never there's no tolerance breaks here. We don't we don't play that vacation time
But I gotta honestly tell you man
My man here showed up one night
And one day I came over here. I forgot that I left him here
And I came over here like five days later with my daughter and my wife
And my wife and I go oh shit
And I fucking took these out and I took a
A couple pens out and I took some of the cartridges out
And I went home and that night I said, you know what when I pack them I'll fly
I mean, I can't believe how many times I fly and it's in the front flap
And it goes right through the machine. They give me the fucking bag. I go. I can't fucking believe these people
but uh
Like I say guys, I smoke in hotel rooms and I get baked off it
baked
Baked I got to take six or seven hits, but I get fucking baked. You know what I'm saying? Like I go
I got to take a shower. You know when I'm in the airport
I'll fuck I smoke those things
You get so I don't smoke on a plane no more. I got caught on the plane. That's it
That's it. I didn't think the fucking bathroom to get it the fucking bathroom went off. It's buzzing. She's banging on the door
I opened the door and she's like, I don't smell no cigarettes. I go. I'm telling you. I don't know what happened. I bang something
She goes, this is the second time this happened this week
No, no, so I thought they were gonna pull me over in lax
So I took the tube and put it in my luggage head and the sleep apnea machine
Don't I got the lax and they say dick to me because usually I don't say nothing
And then when you go to go to go sit in the back, we have somebody here who wants to speak to you. Like god damn it
so
That's it, man. Don't I'm finally got I'm happy we came on. Yeah, so what's the website again? Yureka vapor E U R E K A
V A P O R dot count and this is to retailers only no, this is for the for the consumer to find out where we uh
Where the product can be found
In colorado in california
Okay, so if I want if I live in san diego
Yes, and I'm gonna get some uh, yureka vapor. I go to this web page. No tell me what store it's at
Blah blah blah you have stores up here. Where is it in the valley in the valley? Where we at?
It's going the website there's there's numerous I don't want to single out one guy, you know because you know no favoritism
No, I hear you gotta be fair. No, I just was curious where I saw it because I only go to three stores
So it was either sunset perennial
or the other one rose
Yeah, it was one of those three who gave me that pass
Yeah, so
And they're doing great with it. So you know god bless them. No, I always bro
We started talking about five fucking years ago. Yeah five fucking years ago. I still have the original it's still take you gave me two of them
One something happened. It just went
A little smoke came out
And that was in the early days. It was a lot of
The other one is still alive and taking
I just gotta charge it up if I don't charge it up and die. So I gotta charge it up
It's still alive and taking it
Some of us it's been uh, it's come a long way. That's for sure. You know and we in uh
Yureka vapor and open we're the first real co2 extractors in the country
Open, you know, it was the first guys are the big boys and uh and ourselves
You know, there was other guys out there that are starting to make oil
Now, you know, they were buying five liters when people were buying, you know
A lot bigger than five liters, you know times by a hundred and uh, and it's uh, but everybody's involved
You know the information's out there now you can go on youtube and figure out how to do it
Back then there was nothing
Co2 was a myth. We're down there. I was down there banging on doors like a fucking bible salesman people looking at me like
Yureka, it just was horrible. It was it was it was a it was a tough throat, but
They definitely thought I was selling freaking snake oil. So as you know
The kiss of death always follows us
We should have never got rid of Lee's office ever since we got rid of Lee's office has been nothing but downhill
We almost lit that office on fire
That'd be where we go with this fucking drama. So we went to the one place we got kicked out
Then we went to the other place
And they fucking barely kicked us out
But we had a weed delivery service next door. Yeah, we were cool with that one
So they kept saying that we couldn't smoke in there, but they kept saying we smell odors in there one nice
Some lady found the whole
You know, it was always fucking something. There's a homeless dude
There was a homeless dude living that he robbed a Mexican woman and shit
Hysterical we have the kiss of death when it comes to offices. So I walked past here when they see this place
The guy's like, you still want it? Yeah after two years. I came here
We set it up. Boom. We get in here
I don't even know if we got a complaint
First we are bong disappeared left in the bathroom, you know, I like to wash my bong out in there
Left in the bathroom somebody eclipsed it. We took this another big deal. I went in there. So throw away a bong
Who would throw away a bomb? You know what I am like, who's fucking would throw away a bong these fucking people throw away a fucking bong
I go in there by another fucking bong. I rinse it out. I get high. I take a piss. I forget I leave
Fucking leave old check in there. Either the bong gets taken. I'm down to zero two
Then we get a text one day that says listen
Yeah, what did say Lee something about the weed? It's too strong. Oh, yeah, I can probably find it
No, no, don't find it, but it said
I've we've got some complaints and we usually don't say anything but
We smell it and it's very strong
Can you please stop so before we come in here and we're smoking this white now this white isn't just good weed
This white felt upside down in my draw like that
Draw where you have staples and pennies and fingernail cutters and shit and my foot file
So it's filled with dusts. I just scraped it up and put it all in there
There's a staple in there. It's tremendous. This weed will kill a mule
So me and Lee are going in here bong for bong with a door close
We do about seven fucking bongots
And all of a sudden we open the door up and that dude is in
And he's
He's fucking coffin
So we could
I mean this guy coughed
for 20
fucking minutes
He even came out. He's like
And then we're here hollering and we're trying to start the pocket holder. We think he's done
And he kept coughing and coughing and then you heard him walking down
Off and so we feel like we're pretty much out of here like
We're gonna get the piece of paper any fucking day now. Oh, oh, yeah. Thank god. I'm moving september 1st
Thank god. I got a new office right behind my house
So we could just take this whole fucking thing and reset it up and take it down. What a fucking nightmare
Our life never ends at this fucking church. What's happened now?
We should just wrap it up and do it in a fucking coffee shop and take away the video
I told you that shit
It never ends. We got our bong stolen. Who steals your fucking bong too long
Then they took a picture of the bong and sent it to us
And asked us if it was ours. What does it matter? You know who's it is
You just complained about the fucking reef and now you want to ask if it's if it's fucking it just never ends
And they want the someone texting me and said that they wanted to check the cameras to see who it was
So they were like up in arms about it
They must talk about us all the time in like the hallways. They must be like
I hate those people like coming twice a week. You know, it smells weird in the office next day
I'm blowing this eureka vaping
I can't wait to hear that motherfucker call for about 4.8 minutes
All you hear is him. God damn it. These motherfuckers are smoking top again
And we get blamed for everything we do. No, no every miss every fucking place we've been
There's always some we had a camera at the other place
I'm telling you Lee we're just gonna do it from a coffee shop and forget the visuals
We have to make sure there's no and that's the weirdest thing because we have this like great black people who listen to us
But there's something about black women in office is near us
Every time we have black people next to us don't like us. It's like having a chinese dude behind you and you play black jack
You know the way south here. You always go down in flames. You know what I'm saying?
You get thrown out. You got a chinese guy chasing you in the car
It's a fucking nightmare. Anyway
As always on the dot com is there for you. I'm stuck on the heaven fucking protein now the last couple days
They sent me some of that cocoa every fucking day two scoops
A banana maybe no banana just ice cubes and water
I feel great. It's a great fucking product if it's not that
Whenever I got the jet lag I take a little alpha brain with two scoops of the cbd oil
Again, it goes away like a fucking soldier
You know, I'm a big fucking honor guy. I just got the mixed greens again tremendous the shroom tech
I'm a big believer. Listen, they're always getting new stuff. They always got sales. Do me a favor go to honor dot com right now
Read about all the stuff they have read about a product give it a shot
I mean they give you a 30-day alpha brain is 100 percent money back if you don't like it
Who does that in this fucking business go to honor dot com right now?
Take a look at the fine stuff. They got if you like something on the way I go to the box and press in church
CH you are ch bitches
It gets your 10% off and it gets delivered right to your fucking house
Gratis we're gonna get that type of action
So go on it before the podcast is over
number two
You know me dog. I'm a fucking
Like I was telling these dudes they put two straws in my nose and I had that surgery
I had that surgery about a month ago today at four weeks ago today
They cleaned up my whatever and then they put two straws and then they put stitches to holding the fucking straws
In the second night. I'm sitting down oxy cottons all fucked up. I'm smoking weed. I'm eating some stars
And I'm thinking to myself 10 years ago. I'd be looking for a fucking straw right now
Right now. I got two straws in my fucking nose. You know what I'm saying?
Can you imagine
If you could fucking get the patent for that
They'll put like a coke snorder who just can't stop this is fucked. I can't take this no more
Instead of putting two fangs like a vampire and just put two straws in his nose
And he goes to a party at night. He's like who's doing blowing people like I am I am he just goes like this
And a straw pops out of his nose. He does a line
He inhales the straw back in his nose and he walks out. Who's better than you?
You know what I'm saying? That's the most interesting man in the world
So you always trying to be you know when you could do that type of shit you imagine the type of sabois fair
game that you have
What I'm getting to is we all try to be fucking pa cardan
And we all try to get wine and do this and do that and you know as guys
We try to be fucking we trade we fake the funk, but we're no good
We're no good at wine
You've been a wine aisle at your local store and you're staring at the selection of wine
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No more going to the store and being lost in the wine aisle and then you don't know what the fuck you're doing
No, no, no it gets delivered to your door
Okay, and like I said to you, it's a great system
You go to the web page you go to club w you take the little testy poo
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That's club w dot com slash joey. How you like me now, bitch?
It's 1998 and I got the pig whatever the fuck
Where the chicken in the court don't burn the fucking candle at least I had always i'm gonna tell you what the best thing is
Right now is the time of the year concerts are heating up the concertese are ending up black Sabbath
It's about to close off their tour. I know peter gabry on the other guy. What's his name stingers about to close off their tour
And I'll tell you what buying tickets online for sports and concerts has been a confusing process
For a long time. It's always been hard to find the best deal for the game or show
You want to go to and none of those older ticket sites want to charge that want to change that
But seek geek is different. They've come a long way and they've created an amazing app
And a website that makes it easier than ever for fans to buy and sell tickets
Okay, seek geek is always the first place I go and look for tickets to a game or a concert
I know josh wolf had to go to a boston red sock game this week
He called me and I told him go to seek geek and he got great tickets
He said I have a seek geek app on my phone and I just use it the other day
Like I said with josh wolf just to find the red sock game
Seat geek does all the price comparison for you by searching multiple ticket sites
And ensuring that you get the best possible deal
Seek geek does all the work and you save time
And money and seek geeks wants you to help you get the most bang for your buck
That's why every ticket on seek geek is given a grade based on the value
You'll immediately see the unpriced
Seats and be able to find the best deals that fit your budget. Best of all my listeners the church gets 20 off rebate
On their first seek geek purchase
So do me a favor right now to get your 20 dollar rebate download seek geek app right now
seat
capital g
app
Go to the settings and tab and click add promo code
Again, go to settings and tab and click add promo code enter the promo club
Church ch u r ch
Seat geek will send you $20 after you made your first ticket purchase. It's that simple
Download the seek geek app and enter promo code church
ch u r ch
You go to the Sabbath concert the hollywood bow
There's your chance to order the seek geek app. Okay, so do me a favor get your $20
Go to seek geek app and press in church today. I want to thank club w
I want to thank seek geek. I want to thank on it. I want to thank my boys from fucking Eureka for coming down to explain this uh whole
Game that's getting confusing because it's getting confusing for people. That's you know, you walk into a
A medium level medical marijuana store now
And there's 20 fucking vapors and they don't know really what they're selling
You know i'm saying they're selling whatever they fucking tell them to sell
It's very knowledgeable. You know a lot of people aren't that knowledgeable
They'll tell you what's the most popular. You know i'm saying so
But i'm happy you came down and break it down for these motherfuckers. I am happy to be him
Thank you for coming. Lee. How you feeling cock licker? I'm feeling really good. Good. Good a thousand. Are you ready for two more hundred?
Can you handle it?
Yeah
That is getting back with fucking leak
We're going to be if you don't get an anxiety attack in your sleep
You ain't sleeping right? You know what i'm saying?
There you go like a doctor and shit don't drop it
If you want me anybody you want me i want to see the devil
I want to see the devil. I understand. I ain't gonna force you to see the devil
Listen, we'll be back Wednesday. I don't know what fucking time
We'll let you know on twitter. We'll let you know again. I want to thank
Seat Geek club w
And on and i want to thank lee i want to thank my boys from fucking eureka
And i'll see you guys this weekend at the denver comedy works
Or next friday at the motherfucking ice house 815. It's the no uh
Expectations tour. That's what i'm going to tell you motherfuckers. All right, so i either see you in denver this weekend
Or next weekend at the ice house as part of the no expectations tour. I'm still working things out. So
Be there or be square cock suckers. Thank you for listening tonight. Have a great night. Be safe
See you motherfuckers wednesday. Stay black. This show was brought to you by seed geek
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Oh
Oh
Where the further I go
This is never heaven
And I thought they get sweeter and sweeter
The more that I know
When you know the notes to sing
You can sing most anything
That's what my mama told me
Round and round and round you go
And you find love you'll always know
I let my father move
Daddy couldn't be
Oh no
I'm gonna let you slip away
I'm gonna be there
And my mama made me lose
Stand up
Don't wanna break your love to me
I'm gonna get you
That's why
I can't help falling in love
I fall deeper and deeper
The further I go
This is never heaven
And I thought they get sweeter and sweeter
The more that I know
The deeper I go
All this fairy love she said
Think with your heart not with your head
That's what my mama told me
All the little things you do
Will end up coming back to you
I let my father move
Daddy couldn't be
Oh no
Gonna let you slip away
I'm gonna be there
And my mama made me lose
Stand up
Don't wanna break your love to me
I'm gonna get you
That's why
I can't help falling in love
I fall deeper and deeper
The further I go
This is never heaven
And I thought they get sweeter and sweeter
The more that I know
I can't help falling in love
I fall deeper and deeper
The further I go
This is never heaven
And I thought they get sweeter and sweeter
The more that I know
Someone said
Let's promise we'll stand
And I believe it instead
Of remembering what's mine
Mama told me
Let my mother mourn me
And you try to hold me
You remind me what they say
You spill it inside
I can't explain
But my love is alive
And I'm never gonna hide it again
I'm gonna let you slip away
Daddy couldn't be
I'm gonna let you slip away
I'm gonna be there
And my mama made me lose
Stand up
Don't wanna break your love to me
I'm gonna get you
That's why
I can't help falling in love
I fall deeper and deeper
The further I go
This is never heaven
And I thought they get sweeter and sweeter
The more that I know
Deeper and deeper
Never gonna hide it again
Sweeter and sweeter
Never gonna have to pretend
Deeper and deeper
Never gonna hide it again
Sweeter and sweeter
Never gonna have to pretend
You've got to just
Let your body move to the music
You've got to just
Let your body go with the flow
Falling in love
Falling in love
Falling in love
I can't keep going
Falling in love
With you
There's nothing better than I'd like to do