Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #406 - Jake Ellenberger

Episode Date: August 18, 2016

Jake Ellenberger, UFC Welterweight and former Marine, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio! This podcast is brought to you by:   Texture. Go To texture.com/JOEY to get a free trial for the Texture App. The Texture App gives the use access to hundreds of magazines    Datsusara: Go to DSgear.com and check out all of their great products, like gi's and rash guards, that are made with high quality hemp textiles. Use code Joey to get 5% off of your order.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 08/17/2016.


This show is brought to you by Texture. Texture app lets you tap into the world's most popular magazines anytime anywhere using your smartphone or tablet. In the best part, Texture is offering our listeners a free trial right now when you go to Texture.com slash Joey. That's right go to Texture.com slash Joey right now and start binge reading for free. That's Texture.com slash Joey. Show is also brought to you by Datsusara. Go to dsgear.com slash Joey to get 5% off all their extremely high quality functional gear for Jujutsu that's made with hemp textiles. They have bags, skis, rash guards, t-shirts, and more. Dsgear.com to get

5% off. Show is also brought to you by Onit.com. Go to Onit.com and use Covert Church to save 10% on all their amazing optimization products like Alphabrain New Mood, Shroom Tech Immune, and Shroom Tech Sport. Again, it's a Churchill. What's happening now? What's up, please? Still getting flashbacks. I'm still vibing. I saw that. I really saw that. The music is bringing me back is what it is. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. Oh shit. It's Wednesday, bitches. How you doing, Lee? I'm back. I'm back into the world of reality. My main man, Jake

Allen Burgers in the house. Fuckin' my champion. My true champion and shit. The type of shit I like. Lee, tell him what happened here. This is Jake. Don't know what happened. Well, Jake, I took some, allegedly took some ass the other night. Allegedly. Allegedly. Someone said maybe that happened and it just, I don't know how much I took. That might be a question for Joey because here's the thing. There's a lot in this that I don't know. Like, I don't want to call it blacking out, but it was just the trip that I was on was not here. It was like I was vibrating. I was shaking and I just, and yeah, what really set it off was the

music. Like, I'm not even a music person. Joey really knows that. But like just, I don't know if you've ever done it. You obviously can't do it right now. You saw this listening, but the music. I did it last weekend. You did? No. Okay. But the music, yeah, it's, it was just, and it wasn't like a bad thing. Like it was this, I've heard of bad trips before, but that wasn't that. Like, I didn't, I wasn't freaking out during it. No. You just kept asking me if you were in the hospital. My in the hospital. He would get like, talk to me for a little while and we'd go, my in the hospital. How are you not in the fucking hospital? What hospital looks

like this? What hospital is there? Picture Led Zeppelin on the fucking wall. Put me in that goddamn hospital. I didn't see anything. I vividly remember, like as I was coming out of it, half of the room I could see as like the real world, the other half was still swirly in colors. And I was like, Oh shit. And then you kept telling me the cops are here. And he'd be like, the cops are coming because I would go in and out of, I don't think consciousness, but like, like understanding where reality was. And we'd be talking. And he would just look up and be like, cops, like close the door. The cops are coming. And then like, there's sirens

near here. There's sirens all night. He was looking at me. The cops coming. I thought he called the cops on me. Well, I fucking call the cops on you. My crime stop. I would never call the cops. I didn't think I didn't need to arrest me, but to like, bring me to the hospital. Sure. Turn that music on from the show cops. What's going on, my brother? Not much, man. It's good to be here. It's good that, uh, you know, I mean, I've known you a long time. I've known you. I was telling Lee that, you know, years ago you were coming to comedy shows and Irvine. Yeah. Look at Jake likes comedy and stuff. And then somebody said, somebody else

told me they saw you at a comedy show. I'm like, wow, these UFC guys love comedy and stuff. Cause a lot of guys come up to shows. I saw Jake, uh, what's his name last week at Denver. They were all there for the tournament. I saw Jake Shields there and a lot of the guys from one of the schools came, uh, Einstein was there from 10 planets. So I saw a lot of guys. So, you know, the world's a similar. I was telling you get beat up the first two years. The first three years of comedy, it's just like, it's just like signing up for fucking abuse. Yeah. It really is. You know, and you go to these bars. I was telling somebody yesterday about a bar

in New York, your old triple. I used to go there. You could smell the comedy in like it was that old, that old funk that you'd walk in people smoke and cigarettes. You could smell dried beer and puke. That's comedy. You know, when you go to a nice comedy club night, this is nice. The comedy comes away. You go like at midnight. Right. And you sit there till two, have a few drinks, people stroll in, you know, it's, uh, it's weird. I'm surprised more athletes in like, I guess for lack of a better term, celebrities don't go to comedy shows because well, they get tortured. Well, they do. They get tortured. But here's the thing. Like I always wonder why, like we always say, like when someone gets in trouble

from there at a club or whatever, I'm like, why would you go to a club? A comedy club seems like sort of a safe place. If you want to have a night out, you'll get mobbed a little bit. But if you come in late, it seems like one of the safer options. It's not a bad time. It really is. I never went to a comedy club before I got into comedy ever. Like never, never. I saw, I watched comedy on TV. I took comics rehearsed in front of a mirror and then some TV show called you and said, you have 10 minutes and you just went up there unprepared. That's what I thought. Really? Yeah. I didn't think that you prepared. I didn't know what the fuck. After I dealt into it more, I was like, wow, this is what the fuck it is. Yeah. That's a world I know nothing about.

But you do, but you don't. Right. But you don't. It's so weird because it's the same thing. It's got to put the work in. Right. When I watch a fight, I was watching Nate Diaz against Michael Johnson last night when I got home. It was on 11 to 30. I'm like, huh, these guys getting in the fucking head and walking around. I get hit in the head. I'm thinking about Nebraska. I'm thinking about a bunch of shit, you know, because you're doing it for every goddamn day. You know how to fight a little, you know, when you just breathe, shake yourself off, get out of a guy's range, you just learn all these things. So comedy is basically the same thing. It's what you put in. It's the time on the mat. That's it. That's it. That's it. Same thing with fucking comedy. Same

thing. You won't learn how to wrestle. You know, it's so weird. Like when you watch wrestling, WWE, and you do those moves on your brother, and you're like, it looks that they make it look so fucking easy on TV, you know, right? Well, it was interesting, Joey, because when you, before you, you were talking about how you're going to the advanced class now and you're getting beat up, but you like it because it makes you better. Jake, you had a bunch of fights that might not have gone your way, but I was looking and you fought like seven or eight, like champions, people were fighting for champions. Like, like just as well, you just fought Matt Brown, Stephen Thompson, Josh Codchick, Kevin Gaston, Robbie Lawler, and Corey McDonald.

Yeah, that's crazy. No one has a line up like that. There's no bombs in your road. That's a rhino. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's one of the nastiest divisions in the UFC. I mean, and it's one of those things too, like, you know, it's such a small game of inches. I mean, you could have a fucking great fight and make a mistake and not get your hand raised, you know, same, same with like, you look like the, the Misha Holly home fight. It's like, she was getting beat up and then she ends up, you know, finding a submission or a position and, and winning the world title. It's like, so it's really, it's just, there's the game is, it's separate by so many inches. I mean, I look at some of the fights that,

that I came up short and it was like, well, I'm on my, you know, my mental scorecard, there was a lot of good things, good takeaways, but I can use that to move forward, you know, but it's like, at the end of the day, I didn't get my hand raised, but shit, I made a lot of improvements, you know, moving forward. So you rose to the occasion sometimes. Right. So we, for the adjujits, like I said, I went up against that monster and I did something I never did before. Really? I did an e-shield. That's how I was controlling it with an e-shield. I'm like, Oh my God, I've never done this before. Sometimes when you go up against the more elite guys,

you work better. You know, you just perform better naturally. You know, it's so weird. It's like, when I go to the economy store, when I go to a bar, when I go to the economy store, I got to be on my P's and Q's because they're watching the best in the game on their P's and Q's. And you know what I think proves it? Your last three wins were all performance of the night. All three of the, all the last three of his wins. So it must, like just for me, well, because I'm not, I don't fight. I don't really know that, but I was just thinking of swinging a baseball bat. When you put the donut on it, and it's heavier and you swing it, that's why you do it. So it must, when you go up against these people, now you're like, Oh shit, I'm fine.

Now, I did not know anything about the UFC cutting you and you driving out there. I had heard that for the first time. Yeah. That's true story. Now, when I saw you at Higgins, were you with the UFC? Yeah, I still was. Yeah. It was, it was one of those weird things, like they didn't even, I didn't even have a conversation with, with Dana or Joe until like eight, 10 weeks after, after the fight. And then it just kind of, Joe had called my manager and then, so I would, you know, I'm fortunate to have a good relationship with Dana. So I was like, Hey, you know, can I kind of talk to you? And he's like, Sure, of course. You know, so he's always been like open door kind of with me. So I flew out to Vegas and was like, you know, listen, I know,

I've had some rough fights, some that didn't go my way, but you know, this is not how the fucking story ends. This is not how, this is not how I'm going to end this. So I said, Give me, give me one more shot. And he's like, All right. You know, he, you know, I told him that I wasn't, you know, I don't care who I was like, I don't care who it is. Give me one more shot. And I'll, and I'll prove to you and he did. So I was, I was fortunate enough to have a relationship with Dana where he gave me another shot. But that's true story. And how long have you been like Kings for now? Um, I've been back there at least the last year, because I started training. When I met you, where were you 10 years ago? What camp were you in?

Oh, I probably, yeah, I probably just started training. Munoz had a gym down in Orange County. Mark Munoz. That's right. It was right when he opened his gym. I was training a little bit with, with Hoffield at Kings. So it was kind of, but more so at rain. So that was kind of my first taste of Kings, but there was, there wasn't very many guys in this like very limited and it's like, you see it now. And it's like, there's fucking so many killers in there now. But yeah, it took a while for them to kind of build that, you know, build the, the fighters. But yeah, Cordero is an amazing trainer though. He's always been good. So it's, it's been, it's been a run, man. It's been ups and downs, but

you got a great smile on your face, man. You're happy. This was, uh, when you got the call, it was Matt Brown, and you go, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? I asked for a second chance. Doesn't Dennis Eva have a cousin? Doesn't Dennis Eva have a cousin in Germany about 15 that they could send over here for me? What the fuck? Right. Yeah, I know. And that's what that brown's toughen and done, you know. Yeah, it was like, I mean, it's kind of one of those is like, I'm all in. We're playing fucking poker. I'm all in. I'm going to, I'm either going to fucking destroy him or he's going to beat me. But it was one of those, again, my backs against the wall and we have no leverage. It's like, this is who you're fighting like, fuck it. All right,

let's do it. So, but yeah, I'm like, he's a, he's a, he's a fucking, he's a tough guy. He's one of the toughest guys in the, in the game. And so it was kind of like all or nothing. You know, this is what it is. Fucking tremendous. Tremendous. I don't know where I was that weekend. I'm like, because I'm going to throw in a deuce on it. I'm going to throw in a deuce on it just to wish you good luck because you're a sweetheart of a guy. I know he's got to go for it. He's got to fucking go for it. And you fucking went for it. Like, you know, that's the first thing ESPN put on. Like, I don't know who, who's the headline of fight? It was a co-headline and who was had a lot of your cards, that card that you went to? Oh, well, yeah, nobody ever went to this.

Let me tell you what happened. This is a great fight. So he throw the kick and I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. Look at Jake Ellenberger. Oh man, that was, yeah, it was one of those like, in my, I was focused, you know, there's so much shit you got to deal with. And, like, especially fight week, all this, all the media, but I mean, like, for me, it was kind of like, I'm not here to fucking have a conversation with anybody to shake a hand, take a picture. I could, they can all go to, you know, they can all wait until after the fight. I was like, I'm here for one, one fucking reason and that's to, to destroy Matt Brown. So again, it was just focus was like hyper focused more than any, than more than I've been for any other fight. So it was

like, walking out, you know, not, I wasn't paying attention to no, nobody in the crowd, nothing didn't matter. It was like Matt Brown. And it was interesting because nobody actually, I haven't told anybody this, but when he walked out, I was out, I came out first. And when he walked out, he, he looked at me and then he looked down. And I was like, I got him. I was like, I'm gonna fucking, I don't know, it was just one of those, it was kind of one of those reinforcing like my confidence is high, but I'm just going to attack him. And, and he did it again when they, when, when Bruce introduced him, you know, he looked, he looked up and then he looked at me and then he looked down. And I was like, he, he, you could tell he was nervous. So I was like,

for me, I knew I was like, I'm just, I'm just going to be offensive, just attack. That's the, that's the way I, you know, that's the way I got to be. I think I've, I've gotten trouble in the past when I get a little conservative and, you know, start thinking too much, get fucking in my own head and, and that's, it's not a, not the time to think, man. It's just, just go execute. Sometimes I'm watching the fight to be anybody and I'm watching and you know, I'm a student of the head. I love the psychology of everything, you know, during bad blood the other day, they asked Conor McGregor about his head skills and he loves torturing people and shit, but that backfires on, you know, when you piss on the fence, when you

piss on somebody's leg, as they call it, I grew up, you know, piss on somebody's leg, it could come back and backfire on you. I came from the old school of the psychological, you know, it's like, when I first went to Jiu-Jitsu, I used to get anxiety, Jake, just tons of anxiety and I've had somebody on top of me like that. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? This is fucking brutal. This is brutal. And you want me to do what? Look over my shoulder are you fucking retarded? I ain't looking nowhere. I'm looking straight fucking ahead. I see stars. I see stars and fucking Eddie Chemtrails, those Chemtrails Eddie Bravo talks about and shit, you know, and then you watch, you know, whenever two guys are squaring off, I'm zeroing in on what

the fuck are they thinking about? I'd be pissing my pants at this fucking point. I'd be pissing my pants just going around in circles and fucking around. I'd just go, I can't take this no more. I can't stop breathing. So the psychological of it, like I always say, I don't like to predict a fight to the way it. I love all that shit. You know, when this is silver, came out and put the mask on against Vito, he was done. Vito went upstairs and just put a nice pack on and shook it. You know, that's where it starts right there. The words are one thing, but there's little things that you see. I'm going to tell you why I bet Diaz last time. Go weigh in. When he went like this kind of flinch and it was a little too extra of a flinch,

gotcha, over, game over. I went, I did the county show and my logic was the fucking weigh in and jujitsu. That style of jujitsu, that deep, when they're that good, that high level, that's too much. That's too much. I didn't know about it till I went to jujitsu and I would get on top of a fucking 120 pound woman. That's a brown belt with four stripes on it and just give her a minute, just give her a minute. She'll get, I used to say, go, put your shoulder into me, Chubby. Watch this. And next thing you know, she's grabbing my jeans and picking her leg up and throwing me over and I go, once you're doing it that long, it becomes muscle memory. It's over. And if you watch how he submitted and he sliced the bottom, it was like, what, what do they teach you that? The

third week? They teach you that the third fucking week. You know, that knee slice you'll learn later on. But it's once, but if I didn't, if I had never gone into a jujitsu studio, I wouldn't have known that. Right. I wouldn't have known that once you get to that brown black belt level, it's a complete different fucking game. Different world. It's a different fucking world. Yeah. We were talking about Benio Darush and the first, like, I'm much bigger than him, but like the first time we sparred, you know, I kind of beat him up a little bit on the feet, to take him down, I take him down and boom, triangles me. And I'm like, all right, we go again, like this is the same round, take him down again, fucking guillotines me, like, cements me like four

times in the first and one round. And I'm, I'm fucking, I'm so pissed. I'm so mad. And I don't know who this guy is. He looks like a guy off the street, you know, and then I, then I come to see like, I know he's a homolo black belt, he's a, you know, world champion, ADCC world champion, like, okay, this, but like, that's the, you know, I'm, I'm decent. I'm not a, a jiu-jitsu, like extraordinary, but I'm pretty familiar with like most positions and, but that, that sure, that just, I was like, it humbled me. I was like, these guys are fucking a different, this is a different world. Different fucking world. Crazy. Different world. And I wouldn't have known, you know, I like the UFC. I like MMA, but I gotta tell you something. When I watched Joe Lozano on

YouTube doing that crazy shit he does, I was like, I gotta try this. I don't give a fuck if I'm 350 pounds. I gotta try this. This is tremendous. This is, you take a punch to the face. You learn how to take a halfway decent punch. The guy's momentum lands on top of you. And next thing you know, you're breaking his fucking elbow. He's in surgery getting his elbow done. The momentum, everything's against him. He's getting his elbow done. He's, he's watching his hand on the floor waving at him from the fucking table. How are you? Good to see you. You shouldn't have fucking made that mistake. Bye-bye to yourself. Bye-bye to yourself. Yeah. It's, that's why, you know, and I believe in that psychological little, little things that you see, you don't look.

Remember, I remember being a kid and watching when I graduated high school, you weren't even born yet. Coolie fought Larry Holmes. He wouldn't look at the great white hope. All the white Irish people in my neighborhood were marching fucking, were taking it back. And next thing you know, he wouldn't look at fucking Larry Holmes. He just looked at the floor and everybody in the room was like, it's over. We lost our money around here. Oh shit. He won't look at, he won't look at. That's it. It's all those little fucking things, you know, and this is the king of them. And this is the king of them because they're subtle. Right. He doesn't talk. He doesn't do anything. They're just very subtle. He would just mess with you. He would hug you. Even if he'd

hug you right into a barbecue, you're leaving that. Oh, what the fuck just happened? I'm about to fight them tomorrow. They invited me to a barbecue. The thing that's weird for me was like, I don't know if you watch the embedded stuff. I like it. I think it's really interesting. I like it. I like it all. But the weird thing for me for this one is like, we've talked about how the Dears brothers do triathlons and they go running all the time. For Connor's camp, he has this mansion and he has this ring put in and they brought press in. And he was doing this drill where he was getting punched in the stomach. Is that a normal drill? And just screaming? Yeah, that's a normal thing to do. It seemed like he was doing theatrical stuff. This thing was pretty cool. And Nadia was just

running for 12 hours at the 24-hour fitness. He just went there for 12 hours and just stayed on the treadmill until it broke. That was the one thing to me. It would just seem like a little bit too much. A little showy. Yeah, but that's also his persona. And he's great. It's not that it obviously works for him, but that's why I think some people like Diaz more. Jake, what's a training camp consist of? Let's say I'm fighting at the garden. What's the day that the garden? November, right? Yeah, just I'm just talking here hypothetically. Just hypothetically. Well, you know, there's a lot of moving parts. Right. This is why I just, even the people at home, I just always wanted to ask somebody, you're cool as hell. We could just talk. Yeah. What is it?

Oh, okay. Let's pretend it's like November 21st or something because I know the plane tickets are fucking high. I looked already for that fucking week, 17, 1100. What the fuck they got in New York? November 12th. All right. November 12th. It's what? August 17th. So we basically got 90 days, right? We got 120 days. Let's say they call you at the fight. You go fight November 12th. When does training camp usually start? Yeah, this, like this last fight with Brown, I trained for 15 weeks, but I had about six weeks. Like, I wanted to get like a good six weeks of training before I even scheduled anything to kind of get it right. I was, you know, just getting back in routine. And, but I would say like, typically 10 weeks is a good amount of time for, from strategy,

from like training and all the aspects. But yeah, like Monday through Friday is a typical or typical weekend and something extra Saturday. But each fight is so different too, because with the opponent, you know, you're trying to get guys that mimic that style or, you know, like, with Brown, he's like 61 or 62, like fucking tall. And that's not very common at 170. So, you know, I had to find some guys that raise height, you know, spar with those kind of guys. So there's a little bit of homework to do before we even get into that eight, 10 weeks of training. But it's a lot. I mean, for me specifically, I like to do, you know, I'd say at least 12 weeks of training. Some people can do six or eight, but I feel I felt that I feel better the more, you know,

I can bring my weight down a little bit more, get a little bit more of a routine as far as like running and that kind of stuff before we go into like the high intensity. What do you walk around with that? Usually about 190, 195 around there. But when I still look like that. Yeah, I'm probably 200 right now. Wow, you look fucking light. Damn 200. I better never get robbed, because I can't describe the guy's fucking weight. I'm terrible weight. I think 180. Yeah, no, I mean, it's it's deceptive, though, because I'm a lean, I'm a lean guy. But like, yeah, when I'm training, I try to stay around 185 about 15 over. But, you know, it's like it takes a little bit of time to get there, you know, before we get into that like high intensity,

because yeah, so if I can do like eight, six to eight weeks of like the aerobic training, where we do like the lower heart rate 150 area for like 45 minutes, you know, three times a week, like so for me, I kind of build the low, low base and then like the probably for the last six weeks or like high intensity sprints, like we do the I work with Nick Kersen and he's in he's in Torrance and fuck that guy's changed the game for me. I mean, I'd never that good. Now he worked under the guy from Oakland. Yeah. And his son was the quarter. Right. Right. And so I was just for me, I was just watching some of the stuff that he did with like the balance, you know, manipulation and the foot, the feet work. And so I was like, yeah, this is interesting. So I kind

of was just watching videos online and and was like, this guy, you know, he seems pretty, pretty smart and did a lot of pool workouts, you know. So I was like, you know, I'm, I'm getting older. I'm not I'm not 20 anymore. These these fucking guys coming up here training MMA when they're like 12, you know, but I liked his approach as far as what he what he did. So I went down and met him and we started doing a little bit of stuff kind of got to know him and I was getting stronger and noticeably faster. You know, like he talks about building the kinesthetic awareness, like being able to train your nervous system, if that makes sense. And I could see a notice of difference like within a couple of weeks. So I was like, wow, this this is great. And so his like

the way he is, you know, the periodization, we would do these fucking, I would watch how field Los Angeles do these 110 yard sprints on the football field. And I'm like, I've never done 110 yard sprint 110 110 and I fucking I grew up playing football. I played every sport. I've never I've never ran 110 years. And so yeah, my for the first time I ran, I was I was fucking toast and inside of a round. I was like, and it was it was the different world. I was like, this is this is crazy. I mean, they know them going to the track three days a week and doing this high intensity. But you know, got to build your way to get to there. Right. And plus for me, it was like, it'd be like going to, you know, day one in jiu-jitsu, it's like, you're not going to

start doing these, you know, flying triangle flying on bar day one. It's like, yeah, there's some progression there. But yeah, Nick, if you fucking eat, he really kind of changed the approach my approach to training and especially conditioning. So but it's all the fast, which he was he was big on building the foot strength, you know, and just to just a smart guy, you know, and he's been doing it 18 years, you know, and a lot of a lot of guys didn't don't know his story. But if you look at his athletes, like you can see the transformation, like with those son, you know, he's worked with him for like three years now. And I mean, I saw him because he was like, you know, he was a good fighter, and he went to fucking great fighter. Now he's became the champ. And I was

like, well, he's doing something right. You know, so it made me more curious on on his training approach. It's so weird how much goes in that the the public doesn't know or even understand, you know, how much work goes in. It's fucking crazy. I can't even think of a recovery like it's five days, two, three different things a day, you know, football, you do two weeks or two days in 90 degree weather, you run up a few hills after the two weeks is over. That's it. It's three to five. That's it. This is fucking crazy. Now, when do you when do most people start to wake up? You know, I, I would say probably six weeks, six weeks from the fight, at least, you know, addressing because well, you know, a lot of guys, I think that's kind of that the whole

the weight differential that's kind of changed a little bit, I think in the last year more so, because, you know, with people thinking being heavier would you get the get it have an advantage, but, you know, strength plays such a little part these days, it's like speed and endurance are obviously the biggest things. I think, you know, in my opinion, I think GSP kind of changed the game the way, you know, you saw him, him doing his track workouts, him doing everything, but it was all like, had to come down to endurance because like, okay, guys, even if they could keep, keep up with him for a round, you know, by the third round, your, your, your toes, he's, he's gonna, he's gonna do what he wants. So, you know, I think the evolution of the sports change and now

guys becoming fucking faster and quicker and having better, you know, better, better coordination and then just, you know, coming down to endurance. I mean, you look at the McGregor the first fight with with Diaz and he was doing good doing work in the first round and gets gets tired and that's like, you know, that, that's a different weight class and it shows you the endurance, you know, Diaz, those guys are known for their endurance and I think it's, it is, it's a huge, you know, that's one thing even going into the Matt Brown fight is like, well, shit. They're like, if you hurt him, you know, don't, don't sit here and sprint for, for a minute trying to finish him because he's, you know, you know how tough he is and he's, he's like, he's known for holding on

for hanging in there and you catch him up and end up getting, you know, getting guys in the way to round. But, you know, for me, I mean, that was, that was approach I kind of took. They're like, because they're like, we know you're probably going to hurt him. Like this is a hot field cordial. Like you're going to hurt him, but don't, don't waste all of your fucking energy trying to try to just, just try to finish him because he'll come back. So it's kind of, I had to be a little more, take a step back, be a little more intelligent on, on that fight. Now, before all these fights, you train every discipline, like Muay Thai, Jujitsu, you wrestle a few days a week, you know, you spar a few days a week, you bet,

pretty basically, I mean, that's what's always fucking me. Like you have so many different disciplines to draw. So some people train with the G, some people say, I ain't gonna train with a fucking G, they ain't nobody in the MMA with a G, you know, everybody has different fucking things. And that's what I respect. I respect the hard work, you know, just the strength and conditioning fucking out would kill me three days a week. Never mind boxing and fucking jumping on boxes, and then you die it. And it's just, and it's not just strength and conditioning. It's like going full out because you're like, you can't like half ass. That's not the reason. And the whole time you got to be careful that you don't get hurt. Yeah. Did you see fucking Seroni doing that

wave one or thing? He's gonna fucking kill himself before his fight. But I had a question. What's the best part about a training camp? Because like, obviously, like I'm gonna suck, at least part of it must be tough. But like, what's the best part? Honestly, I look forward to going to sleep. Like seriously, is fucking as stupid as that sounds, like I really look forward to like a good night's sleep. Because like, that's where you get a good night's sleep. That's where you recover. I mean, and fuck, I mean, the worst, like the worst part, I mean, you know, the skills and stuff is fun. I like wrestling, jujitsu, it's like it's enjoyable. But like, when you start doing the track workouts and the conditioning, that's like the fucking

most unenjoyable part. And you know, sparring is usually fun, too. So it's like, you can find some enjoyment in most of it. But you get so, you know, your body, it's so fucking taxing you, I literally look forward to going to sleep. I don't blame me. I look forward to going to sleep, and I don't do all that stuff. But it's, um, do you ever, like, what is it? I'm, and I apologize, I just don't, I haven't followed your, I haven't only followed the UFC for a few years. Have you, did you ever have to pull out of a fight for, for an injury at the end of a training camp? I did one time. What does that like? That must suck. Yeah, it was, you know, it's just one of those things, just it is what it is, you know, it's,

you don't plan ever to get hurt, but shit happens. I mean, I actually had a tour my hamstring. Yeah, it was one of those weird fucking things. I just like slipped weird and like, like I, you know, it was after training. So the fucking mats completely covered, and this was at Kings. And I had slipped weird and like felt a little pop. And I knew it just, it felt weird. And I was like, I get this checked out. And like, yeah, you got a partial tear in your semi-membranosis. And I was like, Oh fuck, I don't know what that is, but all right, that doesn't sound good. It is. How long have you been in the UFC 10? It's amazing how long you've been in the league.

2009. Wow. It was my first fight against Carlos Condit. No shit. Yeah. And, and it was one of those things too. It was a two, like two week notice fight. And again, one of those, I got nothing to lose the fuck. Yeah. You know, and he had, they had just, the UFC just acquired the WEC and Condit came into the UFC and he lost his first fight by like split decision to Martin Kampman. And so then his next fight was Chris Lytle. He got hurt. And so then they, like my manager's like, Hey, we, you know, do you want to take this fight? Of course. So I was basically brought in to be the guy to get beat up or give Carlos Condit a win, you know, and it ended up being like one of the top, top 30 best fights of all time.

And we had a fucking, like I, I, I dropped him like three different times. It was a good fight. I mean, I definitely got tired, like between this, I've never been so tired between, I had, you know, two weeks of training, but between the second and the third round, I was fucking, I remember exactly how I felt. I was like, I don't know how the fuck, I don't know how I'm going to finish this, this, this fight. I don't know how I'm going to, I can barely breathe. It felt like I was breathing through a fucking coffee stir. I was like, I couldn't even see, but I was, I'd get, you know, I'd get given the first round, given him hell in the second round was close. And then the third round, he definitely won. But again, one of those things, it was like

nothing to lose. Let's do it. But if you haven't seen that, you should, you should go back and watch it. The first round is, it's, it's a crazy first round. I sort of remember it. I sort of remember, because I remember when he came in against camp and on a Wednesday night, it was like a, a special fight night. And then when he fought again, he, you know, that's, like I said, you've had some fucking brawls, man. So, and you know, listen, here's the beauty about the UFC. Here's the beauty about comedy. Here's the beauty about if you play the fucking tuba. Here's the beauty about if you play the fucking guitar in a band, you know, they were supposed to cancel Seinfeld after the first year. Sometimes, man, it takes

some people a little longer to catch on than others. Nothing wrong with that. Nate's been lurking for fucking right for nine years. Nate was lurking and watch Michael Johnson, Connor, and now he's walking around with his fucking dick out and they give him checks. Swinging his dick. Yeah. Swinging his dick. It's like I always say, just keep showing up. Right. There's going to be fucking bad ones and there's going to be good ones. Every time I go on stage, it's a fucking masterpiece. It's a disaster. It's a disaster five out of 10 fucking times, but I know that going in. Yeah. But every once in a while, the sound system's great. Mama sucked your dick. She gave you a nice steak. The hotel's good. The weather's nice. You saw some good friends and all the stars get aligned, man.

And once the stars get aligned, you've done your training. You already popped your elbow. You already got knocked out. You already got submitted. You already done it all. So now, there comes, you used to look at yourself in the mirror one day, you know, I got three good fucking years. I want to fucking mope around the unemployment line. Oh, I want this bit slap, motherfuckers and get what's coming to me. I've been doing this for 10 fucking years. Exactly. And that's what happens. And one day it all comes fucking together. And, you know, and that's what it looked like for me for you. I saw you those three fights. And I remember like that third fight when you lost, you looked a little

like you couldn't even believe what was going on in your life, but you found the fucking home, man. You found the home down there. You got back in your stride. All the stars were aligned and there's Matt Brown and the next one and the next one after that, whether they lined up against you, because you found the home. You have a fucking home. You're not a fucking orphan no more. Hang on Glendale and fucking driving to Redondo Beach and then fucking hiking. I got to learn the jitsu in Las Vegas. Listen, this is one stop shopping. The least time you had, you know, if you could do everything at it, which you probably do. Yeah, because Nick Kirsten is over at Kings pretty much, right? So all the only person who's got to show up is the

acupuncturist. That's the only other ride you got to get them. Maybe they go freeze your fucking shoulder like Joe Rogan somewhere. That's it. You got one sub shop and they quit that row. You know, they tape you there, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's, uh, you found the home, man, and it's no looking back from there. That's it. Yeah. You take your humps and your fucking bumps. A hooker sucks a thousand dicks and also in one day, she's a man. You know what I'm saying? She's running the joint now. She's missing a foot. You know what I'm saying? But she's running the joint. She's getting 10%. She's got 30 chicks sucking dick for her. You're so inspirational. The dog. I got to drop it like it is. Even hookers, people are at home going,

enjoy it, but I'm a hooker. Well, let me tell you what happens to you. All right. Next thing you know, you end up in North Hollywood, a little Chinese massage parlor, with Scott's tape on your eyes, like the fucking Mexicans, that fucking Benihana. You ever go to Benihana? There's no more Japanese people left. They're better shipped. I don't want to do it no more. I don't want to work at Benihana, mom. I want to be a math major. Unfucking believable. I sat in a hotel. I sat in a hospital for two fucking days, tubes up my nose. I got a cloudy fucking nose again. I suffered for four weeks. Everything was working out. Now I'm back to being stuffed up again. Two fucking straws,

they put up my nose with stitches. Oh yeah. Jesus Christ. I've gotten a septoplasty on my fucking worst operation ever. That's when they put the straw up there. Yeah, like the plastic tubes they sew in there. Yeah, they sew it in there for the love of Christ. I was miserable for like two months. Really? Yeah. I've been okay. I've been breathing. I mean, it's not as bad as it was. I'm breathing. I'm not fucking, I'm getting that black gas out of me. That's the killer. You know what I'm saying? You don't breathe. That's what happened, dog. For years, I wouldn't fucking exhale. I'd just be grasping. So that black gas just sits in your stomach, nothing fucking moves. You get stuck. You need to see the acupuncturist. And that's it.

I was listening to when you had Dr. Belize, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's fucking awesome. Now did you go see her also? No, I haven't. I got the book like I want to reach out to her, but I heard her on your show both a couple of times and she seems great though. You know, man, she's, she's onto something. She really is onto something. There's something about it because I asked a couple of Jiu-Jitsu guys like Lentz time the other day and I'd say, go, guess what I do now? She goes, he goes, I do the exercises at the end of my workout and I get back on the mat. It's amazing. It clears everything. She has different breathing for different things, you know, in the book. She's really interesting. She's onto something.

She's onto something, you know, and it's, it's, you know, you have to pull from everywhere, especially when you're a professional like yourself. You have to read from everywhere. You don't know. One little thing might help you more than anything. Yeah. That's, that whole world's like fascinating to me. And it's growing. Look what you said about, listen, it's not no more fucking jump on the table 10 times, do 10 behind the neck presses at 185, push that. They got it down with fucking science now. These kids are going to school. Now they go to work for somebody else who's got a different science. So they mix the sciences pretty much. You like fucking Bruce Lee. You put together your own health. They know everything. You know,

over at Albertos, they got that technical fitness. Same fucking thing. Yeah. You know, your hips, your arms, you swing them around with a fucking bat. When I first got to Albertos, I couldn't put my arms up. I take the bat and I swing it around your fucking head and back and forth. And it's, they say it's a smart, we're growing now. That's it. Jump. Jacqueline's dead. It's over. No more fucking jumping jacks around to new fucking things. That's it. This is the future, man. They put fucking heart monitors on you. They put stuff, you know, it wasn't junior taking blood after every fucking workout and they could see what's in your blood with the oxygen. Right. What are the different levels, man? Well, how do you decide what to do? Because

there's so many options. You try everything. But some of them must be crazy. Some of them must be bad for you. How do you filter all that stuff? Yeah, I mean, like, you know, experiment, try it out. Do you just try everything? Well, you know, incredible source, I guess. But I had a buddy who's a professor down at Cal State Fullerton and I would talk to him about just different aerobic, like, how do I train smarter, breathe better, like, because that whole breathing game was fucking foreign to me. It's like trying to learn Chinese, like, but he's like, when you're, you know, you see these runners and they work on their folks on their exhale, because he was like, the faster you can push the carbon out, you know, it's not about the

inhale, it's about the exhale. And I was like, what? Like, how the fuck, you know, I'm just finding this out right now. But it was fascinating. So which when I listened to Dr. Belize, I was like, man, she, you know, I got her book and then read the book. And I was like, wow, this is, this is fucking great. Like, I want to learn more, you know, it's, it can only help. Dr. Belize, you know where I saw you at Higgins? They teach the stem of that. Okay. And that guy will change your breathing around. He's like Dr. Belize. It would be interesting to get all three of them together. And then there's somebody else that does something with that. So it's Belize, Systema, and there's somebody else like what

Hickson talked about in this documentary is that, uh, what's that? That style of yoga? I forget what it is. What the guy has. I know what you're talking about. That one, the breath of fire, they have it on Santa Monica. Denny Proctopus goes there. Like Denny does a lot of yoga, but a lot of breathing for his jiu-jitsu and he mixes it with kettlebells and then he does jiu-jitsu. That works for him. Right. You know, the breathing, but oh, and tactical fitness. See, what they talk about is the exhale. Focus on the exhale, the exhale, because if the more you push the exhale out, the cleaner air go in. So that's what they always talk about. So yeah, it's a, that, even that, you know, for 2000 years, they've been

going, you know, God knows how much that's fucking changed. Who was it? A couple of weeks ago, every time she, oh, Holly Holmes. Ah, right. Ah, yeah. There's some to it though. Yeah. This is whatever works for you. Serena Williams has been doing it for years. Well, she's black. She's been yelling on everybody for fucking years. You know what I'm saying? She just hits the fucker. Ah, you're fucking cocksuck. Take that, you fuck. Yeah. No word on you. So you're still training now? Are you, are you, what do they say, suspended for 60 days? No. I'm sorry. Yeah, not suspended. I mean, they'd usually for like 10 days or something, but yeah, I've been kind of a couple of days a week, nothing. I was, I was traveling. I was in Omaha for a couple of weeks

and then, but yeah, getting back into it. You know, a couple of days a week, take a few days off if you need it. So, but yeah, next week I'll start training. I got a few buddies of mine fighting. I was actually Benny, Benny O'Darush and then those are, they're both fighting in Mexico City, so they're getting ready for that. So, you know, October, November, something like in Mexico City, you know, the elevation. Who's the sign you're fighting now then? Tony Ferguson. Oh my god. That's going to be a fight. That's a good one. All those 155s, get me fucking crazy. That's a, that's another hellhole of depth. That division is fucking insane. 155 and 170, you're mingling in some weird waters there. Right. You know, 145, you got Aldo, you got the other guy, you got the

Blom guy, you got a couple guys, but 155, those first five guys, if they ever got together, like those five guys just said, fuck it, fuck this UFC shit. We just want to go from town to town and beat people to fuck up. It would be monstrous. Like, you know, the Russian with the fucking hat would throw you out a window. Once you landed, fucking the Brazilian would be kicking you like a soccer ball. Then they'll just get out of her ass to come over and headbutt you and hit you with an elbow. I mean, that fucking 155 is crazy. Even that other, that other, I tell you, what's another good fight that's coming up? Michael Johnson against Dustin Poirier. That's a good fucking fight right there, my friends. I like those kind of, that's what I like. I can't take

those big fucking things no more than everybody's testing. Nobody knows what's going on. That's the kiss of debt, those top two, they're always in trouble. You want to be like the second fight on the card, get a check, go home. Right? While they're fighting, while they're fucking main card, that's it. They already pissed you in a bottle. You're fucking up in the stands doing heroin, drinking whiskey, fucking yelling and screaming and fucking what's his name? What's the guy in the middle with the tuxedo? Jimmy. Bruce Buffer. Yeah, that's the card. I would never want to fight him. Now listen, listen, Dan, I want the second fight. I got shit to do. I got to get my dick sucked. I got to mingle through the crowd. Listen, you fight this, you fight the

second card, you knock the motherfucker out. You just get a tuxedo with no pants and you just walk through fucking the arena after that. You know what I'm saying? Yum, yum's for a week. I would always, I would always, I'm like, put me first. I'll be first. Yeah. I'm at two o'clock. Oh my god. Two o'clock. If I had to wait there all night to fight somebody, I'd have a nervous breakdown. Like 9.45, I got to fight. I've been up since 6.15. You know what that's like? Oh fuck. I've been up since 6.15 in the fucking morning. I got to fight at 9.45 at night and then the heart attack by 4. That's a fucking night, man. Listen, Dana, you know that card you got for fucking Q4, that other channel? Put me on that fucking fight. 2.30, no Rogan, no, no body.

Just send somebody. I don't give a fuck. We'll do it on YouTube. Yeah, we'll do it on YouTube. I don't need this. You don't have to film it. Fuck you. I got to wait till 10 to fight somebody. Are you fucking nuts? That's a dilemma I got now. Listen, when you're a young comic and you're 30 and somebody looks at you and goes, and you call in for spots at the comic store and they tell you on the phone, like nothing. Yeah, you're spot to 12.45. Okay. 12.45, Tuesday, 12. 1pm, 1am, Thursday, and you're like, okay. You have no idea what that's like. That means you have to fill your schedule. That's what makes you a really good comic because now you're like, okay, I can sit at home with mama till midnight and bore myself to pieces or I can just start the night

out at eight and go to a Mexican room down in fucking Orange County and then shoot up and do the ice house and pick up 75 bucks and then do the 11.30 at the fucking laugh factory and then go to the comic store and by that time they're running late. So you got an hour away, you talk to your buddies, mature and they made a little money plus you did four or five sets. I could never imagine like fucking fighting at 10 o'clock at night. I'm either the second fight or maybe third. If you throw me a little ball this day, then why just throw me a little something cash right when I get off right there and then we're waiting for me. You'd have the 6pm flight back to LA. If you were the fighter, you look, you'd be like, Dan, I have a 6pm flight. Oh, yeah, Dan. I'm going back

to Burbank. Yeah, I'm on the red. I had a Burbank 11.10. I can't be waiting around for press conference. I'll call it in. Let me go home. Let me go home. I don't want to sit here and sit across the street. I'll do 130. I'll do 130. Yeah, no, I don't know how they do that. Sometimes when I see that shit, I'm like, how do they do that all day? Some of those fights in Brazil sometime like 230 in the morning. And I like, because when I fought in Atlanta, we didn't go out until 11th. My fight was like 1130 at night. And so I was like, I bring a fucking pillow to locker room. I said, I went to sleep when I got there. I was like, I'm not going to sit here and anxiety over fucking waiting. You know, it's like I went to sleep and then wake me up an hour before the

fight and warm up. So wake me up before you go go. Wake me up before you go go. There's no reason to have me here wasting time. The first time I did a movie, you know, I moved to LA. I didn't know nothing about nothing. Nothing about, I didn't know nothing about movies. I watch movies. I'll pay. That's my favorite movie right there. The old one, Josie Williams. Look at him. He's fucking beautiful. Fucking beautiful. Look at that savage. Where is he today? Fucking at Starbucks eating a fucking mac and chino. We don't even have an outlaw Josie Wales in 2016. 50 fucking years ago, we had an outlaw Josie Wales. Look at him killing everybody. Indians, white people, Mexicans eating and getting a fucking nobody. Nobody said nothing to him. Nobody tweeting.

You know, Ellen Jenneris says one fucking black thing. Everybody gets mad. Like he's shooting every fucking nationality. Nobody to say nothing to Clint Eastwood. Nothing. How the fuck we get on that tour? And so that was what happened with jujitsu at first. I had to go at eight o'clock at night. Eight o'clock at night is not a good time for Uncle Joey. You know what I'm saying? By that time, there's been a lot of chemicals, a lot of reefer smoke. My anxiety levels would be high. That food in my stomach. Every time I went to jujitsu, I thought I was going to die. I finally went there and said, fuck it. There's an 11 a.m. class somewhere. And that gets it out of the way. I got a little anxiety about 9.45. I pop a little baby aspirin. I drink a little fucking energy drink

and I shoot down there like a fucking, like a guy in an electric chair. I'm going to die anyway. I might as well die in Alberto's fucking cage. That's the real truth. For the first year in jujitsu, I would hug the cats. I would have a will. You know what I'm saying? I thought I was, I would be fucking panicking. I would be panicking, but that's what got my dick hard. That for years, I hadn't panicked. I hadn't panicked in years. We live in this fucking beautiful world. When I was 21, I used to panic every fucking night. I throw a window through a rock and get chased. Rob somebody's fucking coke. You do something. Your heart beats. My heart don't beat no more. So I kind of like that panic stage. You know, I hadn't panicked like that in a while.

Now I get a little whip. By one o'clock, I ain't panicking. I'm ready to stab a motherfucker. All right, you following me? Once I walk out of jujitsu, who's going to stop me? Who's going to stab me? What are you going to say to me? Pull over? What are you fucking crazy? I just got, I'm just on the bottom end of a fucking triple choke. People ask me what my best submission is, getting choked. That's what I'm going to get choked. I even told the guy yesterday on American economy, fucking choked me. I got mad shoulders. You got to do what you got to do. I got to imagine it because fucking, I love going to comedy shows, but there's got to be some fucking anxiety. Are you fucking anxiety is my middle name? I wear underwear so I don't pee

through my pants. Are you fucking kidding me? Anxiety, but see, it's like controlled anxiety. I can't imagine, okay, I can imagine sitting in the locker room and watching the other fights and hitting the pads and giggling and shit. I can dig that. That's, I'm tremendous at that. That's my fucking world. I can hit pads and crack jokes and Rocky Bob Bulls and everything. That walk to the cage would not be a good situation for me. Again, I watch you guys and I go, what would I feel like right now? And that's terror. That's terror. Once I touch that mat and I walk up those stairs, instead of doing that little dance, I'd just be breathing heavy. My breathing would be out of fucking control by that point. I'd be hyperventilating without even doing nothing.

By the time he was searching me, by the time they're searching my undombed and all that shit, I'm fucking, I'm getting anxiety. They wouldn't even stop the fight. They would sit me down and give me oxygen because as the guy would be touching me, my heart would be beating that much of my chest. I can't take that type of shit. Listen, I love, I love smoking pot and I don't mind having a fucking beer. Do you know why I don't have a beer when I go out and do comedy or bring weed with me? I don't do good with cops around me. So I don't have any nonsense. I don't drink and drive. Why take the chance? Where you drinking? Yes, a beer. I'm going to come out now on that line. I can't walk that line. Even if I'm straight, I'll fall apart. So now I got beef there. Now I

got beef because I can't handle that type of shit. But I know that going in, you know what I'm saying? A lot of people, that's why I don't know how you guys do it. I get anxiety, not on the drive down to the comedy store, not when I get out of the car, not when I fucking get my water from the bartender and say some stupid remarks, not when I, it's when I walk up the stairs to the comedy store, that little three stairs, three fucking stairs, three stairs. By the time I get to that top stair, the room drops. It's like I got vertigo. And I'm like, oh shit, we got a problem. And he's got the light. That means he can get off at any fucking time. I'm trying to catch my breath. You mean to tell me I got to walk 15 more steps to that stage? I can't even stand. I got to go

sit down. That's how bad the anxiety gets for me. Like that's how bad. But once your foot touches that fucking stage and my hand touches that microphone, it's like getting punched for a fighter. It has to be the same. Once I hit that microphone and I ask them, what the fuck's up, motherfuckers? Done. Anxiety's done. It's that force, four minutes. That's how. It's how, Jake. What's your anxiety like? How does it develop for you? Where's the peak? Yeah, that's, I would say the walkout's always the worst because everything, it's funny because I'm surprised to hear you guys say that. That's not what I would. You ever see apocalypse now when they land the first time and the kid's like, I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Remember

that dog? Remember that? He's like, I don't want to go. And then I get the fuck out there. Come sucker. That's me. I would, I would hit the front thing of the fucking walk and I would go. I don't want to go. That's it. Cordero, go without me. They'd have to rip my adini. What is it, Nike? They'd have to rip my Shereebok. They'd be ripping it. Come back, Joey. Come back, fuck you. You're fighting him. Get the fuck out of me. So the walkout. Yeah, it's, you know what? It's funny because I've had 16 fights in the UFC and it, you think it would get easier, but it doesn't. And I mean, you can deal with it. Like you just learned to deal with it, but the walk is always the same. Like I never have a problem going to the arena in the back room. I fucking, we crack jokes,

you know, keep it light. It's fucking neat. You know, the back rooms. I have my buddy back there with turkey sandwiches talking about the eighth grade, getting my dick sucked behind the church. Look at me. You're going to knock a mile, Joey. I'm a fucking bad motherfucker. I'm unstoppable. I eat my carrots. Oh, I'm there. That whole ego thing is me. It's that fucking walk to the thing would kill me. So I'm loving that you're telling me this shit. It's that, that's, that's it because it's funny. I've been working with this. He's a sports psychiatrist down in San Diego and he's dog named Dr. Lardon and he's fucking brilliant, but he always talks about staying your bubble. You know what I mean? And I didn't really understand what that meant. What does that even

mean? But he would be like, you know, you're here to do one thing. You're not here to be on Twitter, you know, social media, you're not here to do any of that bullshit. Like it's so easy to get caught up in that fucking, you know, that celebrity kind of bubble, but he's like, you're here for one reason. That kind of helped reinforce me. But yeah, I don't get, I don't get, I don't get an anxiety in the back, you know, warming up. It's smooth. We're correcting jokes, keeping it light. And it's only just from that, from the locker room to in the octagon. That's, that's it. That's the only time when you're like your heart rates high, you know, people are fucking screaming, you know, want to, you want to, want to throw chairs over there, you know, but for me, it's just like,

I'm not, I'm not looking at anybody. I'm not even looking at the fucking camera. I'm going in there. And it's, but that's, yeah, that's really the only time, you know, once, once the fight starts, you're just moving, you're, you're already going just like when you, you know, you grab the mic, it's like, let's fucking do it. Let's go. Okay. So once they search me, how's your anxiety when they search it? Check the mouthpiece, you hug your coaches. Right. Right there. That last coach, I just hugged on to him as hard as I can. I'd say, coach, I don't want to do this. Like the coach don't make me do it. Like I really would. I'd have to hear him say to me, Joe, you're going to be fine. You do. Come on. I know you're just your fucking eight. You're going to

be fine. You might not beat him. You were bummed. We're going to do fine. Just cover your face. You know what I'm saying? Like I would know what to do. Once I walk up, what do I feel like? Once I'm in my corner there, what do I feel like? I mean, it's, it's definitely intense, but I feel like when I look at my coaches, it's like they look me in the eye and it's confidence. You know what I mean? They're like, we're here because we fucking believe in you. You know what I mean? And it's just like, let's, you know, been here as far as preparation, we've done fucking 20, you know, 2,900 fucking rounds. So it's like, we're there three rounds. You just got three rounds. That's all it is. So then, you know, it's, it's, and for me, it's always

been on my own worst enemy. If I start thinking about this shit and this fucking, you know, but like I said, that when I started working with Dr. Lardon, he kind of cleared a lot of that overthinking, overanalyzing just that's that part of the brain that fucking too much. He kind of kicked that out. So it was just like keeping it simple, you know, and just staying, staying in the bubble. I mean, but it's definitely little things that I would say you just on the walk, I'd probably be more like anxiety than when you stop. So once you stop, all right, fucking rip it off. You just want to, you know, some guys just run to the fucking octagon rip their shit off. Let's just want to get the walk over. That would be, that would

be the only way I could do it. If I just ran to the fucking octagon, sprinted balls out to the octagon, stopped and had him like, when I go get blood, that's my fucking hatred right there. But I've already figured out a way. I looked the other way. I put an iPod on. I listened to Santana, the same fucking song. And in a way, I'm just giving them my room. Like, I just give them my room and look the other way. And I feel a little bit this last time. I was fucked up. They couldn't find the fucking veins. So it hurt a little bit. They had to stab me like four times. Fuck. I hate all that shit. Like I can't deal with that stuff, but I go to acupuncture because I don't want to overcome my fear. That's a horrible fucking fear.

That fucking, I would go to the doctor's office and dodge and go around the corner and say, I didn't feel like getting the needle. One time I went down and did the checkup and ran out before the blood test. They were calling my house. They're like, what the fuck happens here? I don't like blood tests, man. I got to go get a shingle shot. It's killing me because I know it's going to hurt. It's in the fucking shoulder. That means I faint. That means I faint. I could feel the serum going into my fucking arm. You understand me? That means I go down. You're thinking about a right hook. What's that? You're thinking about throwing a right hook, hit the nurse. Oh no, no. It's terrible. I hit my childhood doctor because I didn't like needles

either. So I would always tell her to tell me when she was looking at me like a countdown. She just tried to do it, so I smacked her and she stabbed herself with the needle. No, she did not. Dr. Nathan. You know what's actually even worse? Shut up. Like, I've never liked needles, but you just fucking deal with it. But like, my son, he just turned one and I hate watching him get fucking vaccines. I don't go. I fucking hate it. Oh my God, you get pissed at the doctor. You gotta restrain yourself. Right. You can fucking stab me with a pool cube. But like watching my son, you put him down and then they fucking poke him with a little needle and then he starts, he looks at you like, what the

why the fuck am I getting? You know what I mean? Like it's your fault and that's the worst. That gives me anxiety. I'm getting the worst feeling ever. You want him to give me mouth to mouth. I'm gonna fuck up right now. You really want us all the doctor? Like you'd freak out at the doctor. I've always listened. I've just told the doctors the truth. I have a phobia. When I walk into a doctor's office and they check my blood pressure, they go, what's going on with him? And they know I got white coat fucking, whatever the fuck. And they give me 15 minutes. They talk to me. Then they come back and my blood pressure is fucking perfect. I just don't like it. I'm just a kid. I just don't fucking like it. This guy's been my doctor for 16 years, 17 years. So I started

to like him about 10 years ago. He's great. He's a great guy. So now I don't mind if he, the chicks that take the blood out, I have a relationship with him. You know, how you doing, what's going on, how you paying, how's your daughter, that type of shit. So I just give him the arm now, you know, but I couldn't even fucking. Now let me ask you one last question about this fear shit. Wake up in the morning on the morning of fight night. Little brutal in the morning, that morning, maybe three minutes of what the fuck am I doing with my life? I'm fighting tonight. Not so much. I mean, it's more, yeah, like I said, I really don't have any, any issues, like any anxiety, I should say until you tell you they're fucking, all right,

Ellen, we're gonna get on the X, you know, the cameras right there. Like until you do that, I really, it's all pretty manageable. But you know, everybody, everybody's different. I know guys that fucking, you can't even talk to you on fight day, like they'll fucking freak out or they'll be throwing up in the trash can. But you know, everybody's different. You know, I, like I said, I really, I'm pretty decent until the walk out, you got to just fucking let's do it. Let's go. It's almost like you don't want to, there's too much fucking wasted time, you know, too much waiting. You're just like, well, let's just, let's do it. I'll just, I'll just run. I'm just gonna sprint now. I get, I get, even if it's a little gig, I get a little anxiety in the morning of

what the fuck am I gonna say? I don't really want to do this shit no more. I should just quit and start selling fucking cars. What the fuck am I going to bar for? No, I mean, I really go through it. Really? Yeah, for about eight, nine minutes. And then I come to my senses and I say, I'm the luckiest fucking guy in the world. You know, I got a great job and I get to go down there and fuck around on stage and then everything sort of works out. But no, no, no, I get it terrible and that's great that you broke it down because I've never really asked to fight him before. Like game day, weekday, the weekday announced to fight you and you get a little anxiety on the phone. I mean, I don't even think about it. If somebody, like I said, that'd be great

until they call my name to run down the fucking cage. And once I got in the cage and hyperventilate myself and tap myself out, I think. Bruce Buffett, come on, what happened? I just tapped myself out. My lungs are going too much. Let me get some shout outs and get the fuck out of here before track hits. Big thumb Terry, John Cutler, my girl Cleo, one by one podcast. Uki Spooky will be seeing you in Austin on the 15th of September. Jeff Cordero, Bob LaLingus, Rob Tease, and my man Matt Baker up there, Matt Baker, BJJ, putting it motherfucking together. What do you got planned for the weekend, Lee? What I got for the weekend. I don't think I'm going to go see that suicide squad movie.

Don't do it. Don't do it. It's terrible. People say it's bad. I don't know. I don't fucking know. Do I look like a movie critic to you? I know. I honestly haven't thought towards the weekend yet. What night is date night this week? Probably Saturday. Saturday? Because we're going to the ice house Friday.

We are. You coming with me? Absolutely. Coming. I'm happy. You're coming up with shit. I felt bad about what happened to you, Lee. It wasn't because, you know, I've done acid before, but it affected me for a little while, but it didn't get me. Once I got the air and shit, I was back to normal. I was skipped loop to go. I would have been fine. I think the second dose was what sent me over the top. And then I got sick, but thank you for taking care of me. Oh, I can't leave you like an animal. We've all gotten sick at one time or another.

Somebody's always taken care of us. We just laid down in the couch and went nappy noon. I called them in the morning and said, they got a pizza and some wings at five to two. Yeah. Because I was like, I can't. All right. Because the last time I tried this happened, I didn't get that messed up. But I tried to take an Uber home and it was too scary. So I was like, I don't know if I can handle looking at someone yet because it was like, like you can see the video. Like I was shaking. Like it was like a weird, it was a great, it was fun,

but it was like a intense experience. I didn't know if I could handle being in a car with someone. So I decided to order pizza and that was kind of cool, a little scary. And then, and then I, but then I had the best live driver. He was like a 40 year old black dude with a purple car playing like old R&B music. It was awesome. What do you charge you? Like three bucks. It's awesome. So you went over the lift, you're a fucking communist. You know, first you're hanging out with Uber and then you go over the lift.

You're like a fucking, you're worse than America. One week when they're jumping up and down with Bernie Sanders, then they hate him all of a sudden. Now they're in bed with Hillary. But Bernie Sanders is done, you fucks. No one likes Hillary. No, but then why did you fucking get off the Bernie Sanders vote? Get a petition going. Let's re-vote this bitch. You know what I'm saying? Everybody just tapped out one day.

Like, fuck it. We don't, you know, we don't care. Oh, we'll jump on Hillary's dick now. What the fuck is wrong with America? You just don't give up on your fucking people like that. But you do now. This is the millennials. You fucks. Ruinin' shit. They even gave themselves a name. The millennials. Look, ruinin' shit. Ruinin' shit.

This is fucking around, going to places with tight jeans on and shit. Meanwhile, they're closing fucking restaurants. That matter. What's closing now this week? Like fucking steak and shake or something like that. I think TJ Fridays are closing now. They deserve to close down those fucking things. They've had the same boring ass fucking menu since 88. More of those places.

Onion rings and shit. Who still has onion rings on their fucking menu? It's 2016, man. It's 2016. Something. Fuck. I'll eat the fucking. That's a money. I gotta tell you, Joey, a few years ago, I went, you were playing with Joe Rogan. This was in Vegas.

Okay. And it was fucking one of the. It was the fucking best show that I'd seen ever. Like you fucking killed it. And I'm not just saying that, but like, it was one of those like when you were on, like you were on and everybody fucking knew it. You know what I mean?

Like you were just, I was fucking, I was trying to catch my breath. I was fucking dying so hard, but it was, it was, I think it was one of, maybe Rhonda was fighting. It was in Vegas, but it was, I think it was a few years ago. I was there with Hannah Gracie and, but it was one of the best shows by far that I've, that I've ever seen.

I lose my mind in Vegas on the Friday night. Because you could, because you could. Yeah. Sometimes Joe's cool with it. And sometimes Joe ain't cool with it. You know what I'm saying? Like, but sometimes most nine out of 10 times, he's like, fuck, you did what you did.

You know, so. Yeah. Dad, now you didn't give a fuck. No, you can't give a fuck. Listen, it's the same thing when you, to do what you did against Matt Brown, did you give a fuck? No, not at all. What did you learn from that fight?

What did you learn from that fight? And from the two previous fights before that? What did you learn from that? You just gotta not give a fuck. It's the, and once you've been there, like once you go down that street, it's an ugly street because you're never raised to be that type of savage.

But it's 2016, bitch. You want to run with the Jews. You want to pick up an envelope. You got to go deep. You know what I'm saying? You want to run with the Jews. You got to be a little on the mean side. You know, it's not, you know, this is it.

You got to focus on what the fuck you want. And when it's the time, you're here with me because I love you, but I knew it. I had a funny fucking feeling on this motherfucker. I might do something crazy. He might do something fucking crazy. And you did it. And that just goes to show you that when you want something.

Absolutely. You zero in on it. You zero fucking in on it. You can do whatever the fuck you want. It's just amazing that we always, Lee, don't we always talk about people know the, everybody knows what they need to do. You know, everybody talks about the iPhone, the iPad.

You know, hi, what the fuck? You know what you need to do. But then we dig around. We beat around the bush. I'm going to go do, I don't want to go there. I'm going to do this. I'm going to, you know what you got to fucking do. You know what you got to do.

And you did it perfectly. You know, for years, you watch fights and the first fucking three minutes, you want to shoot yourself. And like professional people, like Gentiles, like, you know, they're measuring themselves out. You know, that's a smart attack. You know, Rashad Evans once said that.

Winkle John told them, you know, if you hear them boo, you're doing your job correctly. Listen, there's a family. Every time you see, you know, bro, the best three fights I ever saw were in San Francisco. They all ended within two minutes. Somebody was yelling, screaming, stand. Somebody was bleeding within two minutes.

And this guy don't trade no cardio. He just knows you're on the street. You got to do or die, bitch. It's me against him and the buses coming. So I got to fight this guy before the fucking bus gets here. And that's just, you know, everybody makes this big fucking deal about it. You want to go out there and fucking get it.

That's it. Go out there and fucking get it, man. Period. That's, that's it. It's, but we never really want to face that. For the first time after 25 years, I've been doing comedy the right way. I listen to my sets, I take notes. That's a complete different world for me. Like, I'm like, Jesus Christ.

This is, I hate hearing my voice. But if I got, it's like every 30 minutes I listen to, you get one gem. What's a gem, Joey? Even if it's one fucking line, I'll take it. The rest of this should get built in the toilet. I'll fucking take it. How do you know what we're talking about?

No, I know when I, people, cause I mean, even my coach, they'd be like, if you just stop fucking giving, stop trying to control, if it makes sense to control the outcome, just let, you know, just fucking go to the tech. Nobody's going to stop you. Then it's like one of those things you're kind of,

the control freak party who's like, oh, you know, I don't want to, it's like, fuck that. When it, you know, and then it's like, you see it when you just, when you just fucking stop giving a fuck, you know, people are waking up to a, to a fat guy with a pinlight in their eye, you know, it's like they're waking up from a canvas nap.

And that's just like, I got to stop, I got to stop giving a fuck. It's really, it's, it's, it's true though. I gave a fuck to, I was about 22. I thought life was real. You're like, you know what I'm saying? Life is fucking real. You got to help women across the street

put your jacket down in a puddle when you see some fucking hot broad walking and see how that lasts. That have backfires on you. Then when you put the fucking heaters on, you play, it's called playing for keeps. You know, it really is called playing for keeps. And you rise to the fucking occasions.

It's just beautiful. What do you see brother? What do you see next? Not an opponent. What do you see for you? What do you want to fucking do, man? You want to go for this one seven or you got? Yeah, oh yeah.

No, I, it's fucking, this is it. I mean, I'm, I'm ready to go. And I want that world title. So it's, I'll, you know, I'll fight him for the end of the year. And you're writing your goals down. Put the three, yeah. You're writing it down.

How do you even become the world fucking champion in the other train? Be a savage, be a savage, eat fucking dog bones for breakfast. Be a fucking junkyard dog. Fuck it. And we're down at Kings, man. It's, it's a fucking new world down there too.

It's got so many killers. I mean, you see, you know, Dostanus, Verdoom, both fucking world champs. And now it's like, it's, it's, it's there. You know, you put together three, two, three wins and we're right there fighting for the title. So I'm in, I'm all in. If I was 25 and kind of be a heavyweight,

I'd just go down there and smack Verdoom every day. Like, let's go, bye. What's the story, bitch? Let's do this shit. I let him fuck me up. I apologize. They come back a week later.

Bye. There you go. What, bitch? That's how you get better fighting fucking Verdoom every day, right? Because I gotta definitely catch it. He'll catch it. He'll let you be slapped.

He'll go down on purpose. He'll let you hit me. Man, he'll go down on purpose. And you'll see that leg lingering. That leg will linger. That little leg, it's like a dead leg. It just lingers. And all of a sudden, as you go to see

if he's alive or awake, that leg just comes up and throws you in a weird position. Next thing you know, they got the bottom of your shirt with one finger. They're pulling you towards them. And the other leg is doing this. And now the hand is grabbing the bottom of your fucking socks.

And you're going for a fucking loop. It's a, it's a, it's fucking great. Hey, listen, man, it was great that you came on. And it was great to see you back on the, there was nobody happier than me. I went right to Twitter. Where is this fuck? Because I used to have Twitter conversations.

You perform on Thursday night, fuck yeah. You want to come by? Yeah, early show. Who else used to come? There was one at Conahewn, was around then. Yeah. Conahewn would come to the Friday night shows in Irvine.

There was somebody else, the tap out guys. Yeah, Dan. What happens in the tap out guys? They're, they're kind of, you know, they're doing their thing. The little guy, the little guy had a show. Dan, yeah. Yeah, he's been busy.

I haven't, I haven't, I haven't talked to him in a while though. I haven't talked to him in a while. No. And the tall guy, Skype. Yeah. What the fuck is Skype? I don't know. They got like that 20 mil and just moved to Brazil.

They said, fuck it. We're going to go eat outside, eat balls, no more wigs. I spent enough on wigs. It's over. We're going to fuck in Brazil with, I don't think in Brazilian. He used to come to all the fucking shows. And one day he disappeared. I guess when they bought him out, they said,

listen, here's an extra 10 million. Don't come to the UFC show. All right. I'm going to send you the best Bernie Sanders fucking bar. Once we send you there, nobody leaves there. All right. Yeah. Man, thank you.

Thank you for coming on. It's an honor. I appreciate having you. No, you're fucking great. And I could see that you're back and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But your family and good luck to you. Whatever the fuck you want to do. Lee, what's going on with you?

I actually, I have a new website. You do? Yeah. What is this called? No, what is this? What is this website of death called? It's called Lisa consulting. My buddy Robert Johnson creative made it for me.

So if you're interested, just go to Lisa consulting. Lisa consulting. What can I get consultant on? I'm starting a podcast. But I've been doing a lot of Skype consultations. And it's really great. I just, there's really a quick hour and just get you the equipment. What if, let's say, what if me and Jake want to start like a porno live webcam podcast?

I sense that you might. Listen to this. Listen to this. Ideally, you always hit me with fucking ideas. Let me give you an idea. How about two hot chicks and a chubby dude? Let's pretend you will put you in the middle. I like it already.

Put you in a table like this. And two chicks or a guy with a big deck and some chick just bang and do sexual things. And you narrate. Like you and her narrate. Like right now he's doing the, this move. Like if you guys could be here, you could smell it. Casual sex. Yeah.

Like casual sex. That's the podcast. Charged by the minute. Like 52 bucks by the minute. Oh, are you saying we can use this table for that? No, no, I didn't say this table. This table is a Catholic table. I'm a Catholic.

You can't have dirty bitches on this fucking table. You baptized the table. You baptized the table. So I'm just saying, Lee, that's a show you should consider. Well, maybe you and a hot girl and she sits right there and looks at the guy's asshole and says, stick your finger in it and you have to cheer. You know, whatever. I don't know.

And people have to pay by the hour. What waste on the time? What waste on the time? We can be doing a point on fucking podcast with live fucking streaming and live announcers. Not a bad idea. Only a nice fucking slick Jewish person to think of something like that. Lee, that's how I roll. See, I'm a Cuban, Julie.

I've been telling you that for fucking years. Nobody thinks like me. Give me the paperwork, please. For a love of Christ. I'm trying to throw you codes. You're looking around. Thank you. You know, unbelievable people.

You don't know what I have to deal with the other night. I thought he was going to die on me. I didn't know what to do. He had me all scared. I'm sorry. No, I don't give a fuck. I wouldn't take it. I would have put a carp.

I would have rolled jumping this carpet, taking him to the 170. You know what I mean? I don't know what happened to him. He left in the Volkswagen. I'll get some fucking the Agostino fingerprints and put them on your door. And that's it. I don't know what happened. I know him in the well.

He left the will. I would do a will that night. I would have done a will with your little dead Jew hand. I would have taken that pencil and release. He left me everything. Thanks to pizza. We all binge eat. Thanks to Netflix.

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Again, texture.com slash joey. For you fucking BJJ savages, listen to me from G's to a fanny pack to my bag. All I wear is the dot to Sarah. The bag is tremendous. I got the water bottle. I got the other water bottle. I got my protein powder. I got my knee braces in there.

I got fucking my wall in there. I got, I got a cool towel in there. I got another cool towel. I got my nose spray in there. They got a thousand fucking pockets. You understand me? It is tremendous. They even give you a bag to put your dirty shit in there.

So your regular shit doesn't touch your little rash guard that smells like 10 dead Iranians. You understand? Now you don't have to have that shit in there. You take it out. You spray your little ice all in there. The fanny pack from dot to Sarah. Tremendous.

When I fly, when we go to Austin Lee, we're going to fucking put the fanny pack on and take pictures and roll. What do we got in there? Rolling papers, lighters, a phone, an extra phone, an extra phone. Just in case we're in Mexico. Rolling papers in a baggie in case the plane goes down. Matches waterproof to one's you like. That's what you put in the fucking knapsack.

You understand me? In a fanny pack. Anyway, if you're looking for high quality rash guards, a tremendous hempgie, a tremendous jujitsu bag, a tremendous fanny pack, the list goes on and on. Go to dsgear.com right now. Take a look at the great stuff they have. Is there anything you like?

Go to the box and press it. Joey, boom, I get 5% off your order. Who's better than that? You understand me? Again, let's say you want to do some jujitsu, but you also want some supplements. Go to honor.com right now. There you have it too. They deliver right to your fucking door.

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Boom. You get 10% off and this shit gets delivered to your door like a doctor. You understand me? Or you need a Chinese hooker with the wrong address and you're living like a fucking doctor. Anyway, I want to thank Datsusara. I want to thank fucking honor and I want to thank my people. Over at techsion.com. Go to techsion.com right now and get your little magazine at and fucking read your way to death.

You understand me? What is it? That's Joey. Techsion.com slash Joey. And that's it. I love you guys. We'll be back Sunday night. Stay black.

Stay beautiful. And that's it. I want to thank my man, Jake Ellenberger and my main man, Lisa Yat. And that's it. Stay black. Have a great weekend for the love of money. The OJs. That's what you're going to put on the side and get it to you.

This show was brought to you by Texture. Texture is the app that lets you tap into the world's most popular magazines anytime, anywhere using your smartphone or your tablet. And Texture is offering our listeners a free trial right now when you go to techsion.com slash Joey. That's techsion.com slash Joey for a free trial and gain instant access to thousands of magazines. The show is also brought to you by Datsuzara. Go to dsgear.com right now and check out all their extremely high quality functional gear that's made with hemp textiles.

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All their amazing optimization products like Alpha Brand New Mood, Chumta Commune, and Chumta Export. You're my bitch's call. It's a cold world out there. You're my bitch's call. All right, look how I'm a good time on this shit. All right, look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit.

Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit.

Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit. Look how I'm a good time on this shit. More, more, more, more, more, more, more. Some people got to have it. Some people really need it. Hey, listen to me y'all. Do things, do things, do things, bad things.

Really? Well, you know that. Do things, do things, do things, good things. But yeah, yeah. Uh huh, walking by. Catch my neck, my neck. Bugger by. Yeah, it's Monday.

Dollar bills, y'all. Come on tonight. Yeah, yeah. Girl, yeah. All of the money. People will build from their mother. All of the money. People will ride their own brother.

All of the money. They can't even walk the streets. Because they'll never know when the world they're going to be. Because they'll be. They'll be. They'll be. Main street. All of the money.

Catch my neck. All of the money. People will ride their own brother. All of the money. People don't care who they turn up in. All of the money. A woman will sell her precious body. A small piece of paper.

It carries a lot of waste. More than me. Me. Me. Main street. All of the money. Main street. All of the money.

All of the money. All of the money. Money. Through the world. People. People won't say some people. Give me a little brother. Can't you smell that?

Money can't touch some people. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money.

All of the money. Lady. Lady. Women will. Money. All of the money. Money. All of the money.

All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money. All of the money.

All of the money. All of the money. Some people will believe this Give me, give me, give me cash money I need money Keep me, keep me, keep me on that man I need money How many days have I heard you say?

Don't let it, don't let it Don't let money rule How many days have I heard you say? Don't let it, don't let it Don't let it, don't let money Lose your one life Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Don't let money

Got to have it, I really need it Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey Right now, say you're so, say you're so Sad, for I need me, need me Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh People don't let money

Oh, oh, oh, oh Don't let money change you All my life People don't let money Don't let my heart be changed Oh, my God Oh, just keep on changing Changing up your mind

Keep on changing Changing up your mind Tellin' y'all People don't have money Don't let my heart be changed Oh, my God Keep on telling y'all People don't have money

Don't let my heart be changed Oh, my God Oh, just keep on changing Changing up your mind Changing up your mind Tellin' y'all People don't have money Don't let my heart be changed