Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #407 - Becky Dominguez

Episode Date: August 22, 2016

Becky Dominguez, Co Host of the Mat Therapy Podcast and a blue belt under Eddie Bravo and 10th planet, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Club W. Go to www.clubw.com/joey to get $20 off of your first order of wine curated just for you and Club W will pay for the shipping on orders of four bottles or more.   Helix Sleep: Go to helixsleep.com/JOEY to get $50 off of your order off a custom mattress and free shipping.  Recorded live on 08/21/2016.    

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One day August 22nd it's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive and you're in it bitches. The church of what's happening now. What's happening you bad motherfuckers uncle joey here with my main little brother Lisa Yacht. Hello. And our beautiful guest Becky Dominguez. From the mat therapy. The mat therapy.

I was thinking something about a fucking mat the mat therapy podcast. Welcome to everybody. I hope you have a great weekend. Lovely. I hope everything is fucking beautiful. What's happened only with you. Oh I had a I had a fun weekend. I watched I watched the fights last night of course.

I just had a I've just been really enjoying kettlebells. I'm actually kind of bummed it's it's relocating. Do they have any idea where they're going. Not as of right now but it's interesting because you've always you've always been a huge champion for me for changing and switching up your workout and I brought Paula on Friday to kettlebells for the first time and she had done kettlebells with us and she was better than I was and this past week she's still sore today from what I did Friday and I've been doing it for like six months three days a week so I'm actually kind of looking forward to maybe

trying swimming or something else that you've mentioned so it's a I was a lot of shit for you to do just to you know everybody talks about cross training over the years you know when I was a kid I thought you woke up and you lifted weights and you jump rope right or you ran and everything was good but now they say that doing it well I always switched up my workouts anyway I'm the type of person I get bored but they always said to do something different you know that your body recuperates give it a twist like hit the bag or maybe you know fucking walking up a hill or maybe hiking I don't know what the fuck that is you know I can 18 hills I don't fucking know but you always want to

be doing something so you don't get bored with your same activity but my issue isn't boredom I'm the king of boredom I don't mind being bored I'm what scares me is change and that's with everything so listen change is fucking everybody's scared that I gotta move next week I'm scared I got the little alertness going everybody's scared to change but just force yourself to put a pair of sneakers on and go to that boxing gym over in Magnolia next to that fucking thing go to group on get the coupon go to group on get the fucking coupon and you they have something for everything they got something no no I know for a fact that they have a group on for that it's the boxing gym right it's run by Kerry not Kenny

Norris something Norris he was a professional fighter damn good one at that he's right there Terry Norris oh okay and he's right fucking there and you're going in he's got classes for an hour and he doesn't make you fight nobody try you hold pads and mitts for people and it's something completely different you work on your breathing he makes you jump rope he makes you do push ups he makes you do setups shit like that you go in there the first day you do one push ups the third day you do three push ups it's the same shit no matter what the fuck you do right now but you'll get there listen man we're gonna talk about it anyway so let's get to it but the theme of this is evolution and I was talking to Becky about

and I was talking to Eddie Bravo about it I love the UFC I love mixed martial arts and if you look at my comedy career excuse me after I started watching mixed martial arts about a year later my comedy changed because from watching mixed martial arts I saw guys that learned to depend on one thing one technique their best technique one thing and that's your best technique if tomorrow Becky said to me Joey I want to become a comedian oh I am a comedian I want to take acting lessons I go back how long have you been in the whole comedy about ten years I feature around the country I worked a road I said listen go down to this acting class you know you're looking for the mid-range one because if they were teaching

acting if they if they knew about acting they'd be fucking acting okay so you find yourself one that just goes through the motions for 90 days you put in your mind that you're gonna go down there for 90 days you've been a comic for ten years you grew up on Lucio ball you grew up on Carol Burnett and I mean there's not a sketch I can't talk about Lucio ball that you don't know that shows me something that shows me something no when you were a little girl you watched those episodes and you had a dream whatever so when you go to this fucking acting class the first thing you do is gonna be a comedy scene then after that I wouldn't let you touch comedy I'll make you do dramatic scenes I make you cry and make you take your shirt off and make

you do things that would take you out of your comfort zone and that's how you become what you become when evolution is fucking huge it's huge you know I was snorting coke I was snort coke for three months and then I would put it in a microwave oven and smoke on the joint for three months and then I would fucking put it in a mixer with crack with turpentine and smoking for three months even with coke send in for three months I would buy crack you know for six months I got hooked on crack one time and 91 you know in 2001 even with my addiction I always mixed it up a little bit you know I am for a six months bored with your addiction yeah for six months you had Valium so instead of just snorting coke I need Valium's and snort coke you know what is that

that sounds like like the opposite of what you want to do right it's a drink on a fucking red bowl with vodka same fucking difference you want to lower this mic a little bit before I give myself there you go cocksucker so we saw a fight last night first off I did not place a bet last night my reasoning was very simple too many people like Diaz I like Diaz too many people like Diaz you know I'm saying but no no the line was pretty similar it was like minus 110 for Conor plus 105 it wasn't a big difference no it wasn't a big difference it was just too many people like Diaz and then when the fight started I thought about calling because I thought about Chail Sonnen and Anderson and this and silver he would beat him up for four rounds and he did something stupid

then the last second I saw a tremendous fight last night first off I saw a tremendous fight I did not when they raised Conor McGregor's hand I did not I was not surprised really before I said he got ripped off I wanted to watch the fight again but then I laid down to go to sleep and I woke up early this morning and that's the first thing that was on my mind and usually that's what happened because your mind keeps thinking sometimes when you go to sleep what you saw was evolution you saw one guy who went back and listened to everything his coach said to him to the T he controlled his emotions he knocked him down two times he could have attacked on top of him and tried to fuck around he controlled his emotions well he threw the leg kick you know like Becky

and I discussed earlier I'm gonna fight Becky I'm gonna see who who beat it I'm gonna study that fucking tape the most outstanding thing of that tape is Dosan yours is leg kicks I mean he would even show up that night Nick Diaz he wasn't even in the arena I think even fucking Dana said one of the worst things ever that night about him that he didn't even show up he took a lot of completely out of his game with leg kicks so after that Dosan yours fight me being Nick Diaz Nate Diaz whatever fuck his name is me being an individual I look at my leg I look at the blood waltz on my fucking leg and now I can't walk for five days right and even though I got Richie Perez boxing even though I got Gracie Jiu Jitsu I go down to fucking LA over here I get a whole tight room

at this Hilton whatever the fuck it is over here and I go see where Alan Jubain works out Sexons or fucking the other guy down the corner there's three Muay Thai schools here right to the Trump fucking tremendous and I learned how to check that kick so that won't happen again okay that's what I would do as a fucking you know I'm saying and I'm no genius that's what I would do that's not going to happen to me again right as soon as I walk into any kickboxing gym the teacher's going to go oh come here let's do this I already know why you I know why you walked in I know why you walked in the fucking door but I mean and your boxing wouldn't be as effective if you didn't put all that weight on there so let's find that a healthy balance so there's a cat

stance and karate the first teacher they teach it is a cat stance when uh what's Renato what's his name Renato yeah what's his real name what it was oh russon russon russon's father the first thing he teaches is a cat stance what's a cat stance a back stance with the fucking toes off the floor so even if they kick sorry about the table even if they kicked your knee goes completely up and down right and I'm no fucking martial arts fucking guru here I'm just saying to you what I saw last night I saw Conor McGregor fight a fucking extraordinary fight he got hit you know whatever the fuck you want to talk about his cardio again I saw people online this morning his cardio suspect but but he's fighting at 168 you know he usually fights at one fucking 45 150 you know take two 10 pound

dumbbells and walk up and down the fucking street and then take those 10 fucking dumbbells and walk without them tomorrow and see how many times you walk back and forth okay that's that extra 20 fucking pounds he fought a tremendous fight yeah he fought a fucking extraordinary fucking fight guys and Diaz came in there with the one too and but if you watch the fight again that eye is broken again again yeah the eye is broken again he's catching you on the way back from that too he's catching you that's all he was doing he was sitting there you know his training listen his training I give my hats off to his coaches my hats off to his training my hats off to what he spent because any professional knows to to make money you have to uh you know what's that expression

that you spend money you spend money but there's another one uh you sharpen metal with metal right you know when you sharpen metal iron what I am whatever the fucking expression is and that's exactly what we saw last night scoring system guys I'm no judge I'm a fat fucking comedian that's smoked pot I didn't see half the punches I was just sitting there fucking looking up in the sky but I'll tell you what I did so I saw two clean knock downs and I saw blood fucking leaking from his head as a judge so that's what I saw so unless you want to count punches or whatever I know you're going to hit me up on Twitter Joey he won't I don't know I don't know how to count punches but that's what I saw and that's what the judges saw well percentage wise this that seemed to be

pretty even really percentage wise percentage wise but Diaz had like a hundred more strikes really yeah or attempts there was there was a lot more attempts and yeah but I can look it up it was something it was something like he had a hundred he had more strikes and the and more significant strikes than McGregor I think McGregor had three knock downs if I'm not mistaken um Diaz had won towards the end wasn't just the last one right when he got him down those last like 15 seconds oh that was a take that okay yeah I thought he knocked him down with his hand at one point did he towards the fourth round I'm not sure I don't remember he had him up against the cage like in the third or something I thought it was over then he was he was lighting him up really

good I thought I thought it was gonna be done then but you know Jiu Jitsu was not even brought upon in this fight oh no well you saw when Nick or when Nate was on the ground you understand me why I tell people don't text me and I understand like tell people don't text me why is that because it's my world right it's my motherfucking world okay and you don't want the same thing yeah Connor McGregor imposed his world yeah his world he took him down one time with 15 seconds left at the end you know unless he was on the twist his head off it was gonna be right fucking none of that McGregor got trained he's and Nate was trying to get him to the ground when he had him on his offense plenty of time and he defended well he defended it tremendously so I saw a well-prepared that's

what the word is prepared I saw like uh when Holly Holm went to fight Ronda Rousey I saw the same Carlos Condor against Diaz Carlos Condor always they have a game plan yeah and that's what I saw Connor McGregor adhere to and it's very rough when you are who you are it's very rough for me to tell you to do something when you are who you are when you're so my hats go off to him you know I don't know the future I don't know what's gonna happen in the future uh I really don't give a fuck it's got nothing to do with me I can't lie to no one it's got nothing to do with me I just enjoyed the last night I enjoyed the whole card to be honest but nobody you know I thought it was a great card some day Anthony Johnson's gonna be talking to his grandchildren he's gonna go I'm

not fucking Glova Tolce ever his tooth out of his mother fucking mouth but nobody talked about it because Connor McGregor was on the card it's like a Rockies manager so he knocked out what's his name but that's the same not that Marciano knocked out somebody else who got the press Marciano got the press but that's that's what I saw last night that's you really thought Diaz won me yeah no what about you does that to be honest when I was watching it granted I had probably about a thousand milligrams in my first reaction with that he won and I'm trying to find this stupid card it doesn't matter who gives a fuck but um and and I know this isn't really part of the scoring at all but for me when McGregor is running away I feel like that should count for more than it does

just as a fan um do you think that the blood on Nate's face should count on more no well here's because it doesn't it doesn't well it doesn't but like Joey was saying I think that's a little bit more the judges might take that more into account listen when I cut your eye and your eye bleeds in between rounds and I wipe it that's fucking one thing when I keep watching you in the fourth round wiping your eye as the blood's coming out there was one if you watch the fight again if you watch the fight again this one scene where he goes to the corner they wipe it and the blood shoots out of his eye right there in front of you oh it will split second and they take the camera off I mean it's a fucking split second that you see purple fucking blood coming out of his fucking head

well he was obviously getting he got hit but from what I heard in the end and I don't know which fights apparently he does have a lot of scar tissue which once it opens up it just goes no matter no matter what happens so that was the only thing I'm always surprised after the fights when people give their actual round scores because I don't have any I've never scored a round where we have no knowledge of it that's why that's what I said I don't know I can't say anything on 47 yeah so I don't yeah 48 what the fuck do I know I don't fucking know nothing about that and then also I mean even though I love Rogan and um on Goldberg on UFC whenever you watch anything with commentary it can sway you because either way so sort of bias and so not the not even if they're

biased it's just that they sound smart and who knows maybe maybe they see something wrong in them in the moment so but in my heart I wanted DS to win too so that's probably why I was thinking he won but I'm not I'm never shocked and it wasn't to me a huge like oh my god this is going to be in the papers this is such an upset it felt it didn't feel like it didn't seem like a robbery to you no it felt like Ty goes to the winner yeah which happens a lot in the UFC and in McGregor's not he's not the champion because it was a whatever catch weight but he's the guy that the if he didn't win I don't know what would like that's a very interesting topic UFC if I mean granted it's never gonna happen now but at UFC with Conor McGregor losing twice to Diaz would be a completely

different UFC you think so I think so I think you just go back to his weight class and go go back yeah but then he wouldn't be able to sell he he had already lost credibility I think with the first Diaz loss if he lost twice I think that would have been I know there's people walking around today but I'm thinking that Diaz won that fight and they're fucking already done with the I know for a fact oh yeah I saw the I saw people talking about it online people thought it was a robbery and I didn't think it was a robbery I thought it was a sensational fight hard for me to call when I didn't hear the second call that was a tie I knew these people saw the same part I did that made me feel it could have gone either way if I could have gone either way and didn't surprise me because

you motherfuckers on your way to work anyway so it doesn't affect you at all you motherfuckers still thinking about who who's gonna win Hilary or Trump you know it's still not it doesn't change your fucking life it's so weird like let me ask you a question this is how fucked up this show is smell this does it smell like anything I smell something but no no doesn't smell like dick what is it can you smell something Lee maybe you're more sensitive nose no I smell it wrong okay so the other day this is liquid acid oh Jesus me and Lee did the bottom

of this only must they eat chicken or something like that when we were smoking pot only by mistake oh god says this thing tastes weird okay for three days some kids on twitter oh Jesus didn't stop didn't stop if it smells weird if it tastes weird it's not I mean he was sending us reports and bios and whatever and I mean this has to be like a rogan guy like only rogan's people fucking think they're that I give a fuck you know what I'm saying like they get like because I know that even after Lee said that statement he goes it tastes weird because we ate a thousand stars he's got gum in his mouth water reefer who knows what it tastes like who gives a fuck just drink the fucking thing this kid went so fucking crazy I woke up this morning two minutes

I just clicked because a lot of times I put Twitter on but I walk away I put YouTube on and I write jokes but Twitter's there yeah that's it I'm not on fucking Twitter I'm not reading dick there must be a light that tells people when you're on Twitter or something no no because this guy was sort of like being that you know what what you and Lee did was not athin and he wrote a report underneath I said listen oh go away go away go do something with your life for three days we're alive even if it was who gives a fuck for three fucking days this is all this guy thought about was what you did wasn't necessary those guys I snorted fucking coke off people's assholes you really think I give a Frenchman's fight guys stop it stop it save that for your friends at

Starbucks and all that shit I did fucking drugs with filthy fucking animals you're gonna hit me 18 times back it was relentless you went to Facebook he was on Facebook he cares for you Lee no but it was just a shit like no take you know look at there's these people that walk around today that want to be Johnny fucking intelligence all right especially when it comes to drugs okay and let me tell you something about drugs for fucking 20 let's pretend let's just pretend I started the first time I caught weed in the city I was telling Lee the other day I was this Cuban kid lefty Cortina lefty Cortina and his brother were these two fucking dudes that their dad was a doctor a big time Cuban doctor we were just

before we came on the podcast we're watching the video by La Lupe this Cuban singer from the 60s that was very hot during the revolution and and uh she offered this kid cookie she offered dick cabbage cookies from Indian city whatever the fuck it is what are we talking about oh we're talking about dr. Cortina so me and lefty when I was a kid I used to tell lefty lefty I got weed I didn't know me and my friends were like fucking 12 and he would say where'd you get weed out we go over here in North Bergen somewhere they go fuck that shit get in the car get money and me and lefty on you know any day of the week I was in the fucking seventh grade guys would shoot into the fucking city and we wouldn't just go to Harlem we would go to the village

the first place he ever took me to cop I was telling Lee the other day that I was in his car and he had the a-track to wish you were here in there have you ever heard wish you were here to fucked up never mind him at the first time when you were a kid right and you just smoke pot with somebody we smoked pot on the way over there we parked the car we walked in and as I was walking in I noticed it was a fucking church Becky it was a Catholic church and on Fridays they would do bingo on the one side of the hall and the priest on Saturdays would rent out the other side of the hall to these two weed salesmen and on the picnic table they would just lay out weed and in those days they had three types of weed back they had a green weed tie weed but they had these little

fucking square uh three inch maybe four inch by one inch weed that was compressed and dipped in hash oil guys it's like fucking 78 I'm telling you you know I mean this shit's crazy so if this was my first experience with weed for years I went to the Bronx to cop coke for you you know after a while people think it's it's hip like the kids I was growing up I would I'll go to the Bronx to cop coke yeah it's great coke and you're saving five hours but you're also gonna get mugged someday or you know I don't give a fuck if it was if it was 2% purity and I could buy it up the corner from my house I'm not driving back when an eight ball when I could walk down the fucking corner and not get stopped you know so when it comes to drugs man that's one thing I don't know about

weights I don't know about fucking the moon I don't know about hunting I don't know about a lot of shit but I know it is to cop it for in the fucking morning Harlem or in the Bronx and you got $2,000 in your pocket so if you haven't done that do me a favor shut the fuck up just shut the fuck up just shut the fuck up do you know what it is to walk up a third store fucking building with bonehead at four in the afternoon to get heroin when I was fucking 17 or 18 have you done that then shut the fuck up have you gone to a black black black fucking neighborhood in Elizabeth New Jersey next to fucking Newark on the edge of fucking Newark the cop no then shut the fuck up then what the fuck do you know you sending me paperwork or they read that book by fucking the dude who

did mushrooms and I'm supposed to be impressed I never read that fucking book about the dude with the fucking mushrooms what's his name what's his name timity layer but I don't even fucking know none of these idiots I don't read none of that shit you know why because I did my own fucking book I live my own fucking book I did my own fucking drugs I stored a fucking angel dust one in the eighth grade you're gonna come to me with your story about it doesn't smell like acid 80 fucking times on here I'm sorry back I get emotional about that shit the fuck is wrong with people and he kept on and I even Lee said to me you know who this fucking kid is he won't stop do you know who this I uh are you familiar I understand I mean are you being tagged

in these yeah I'm being tagged it's cool I mean it's I we know no one has any reference for what we're doing on this that's like I think that's a part that people and some people do and they get real like really passionate it's like almost like you get to they're really passionate no no there was only one person who caught that everybody listened to that podcast oh yeah and he was relentless about oh yeah relentless now we're still alive and three days later he's still going we did the acid Monday correct yeah sure yeah Monday it's fucking Sunday and he's still sending me stupid fucking tweets about chemical it's fucking acid the guy who gave it to us came back to the show did he not leave he did yeah he did and what did he fucking whispered at the both of us

only take one yeah that's what he fucking said so do me a favor mind your fucking business go do some acid yeah go do some acid and join the real fucking world unbelievable unbelievable if Felice said that on a podcast I would hear it and I would maybe send it to it one time and let's read this you said you didn't smell like acid and then you would respond no no no I just ate a garlic cookie and that's it we move on with our fucking lives but there's some people take every fucking word so literally in life everything so and they fucking run with it even last night after the fights oh my god the post that I was seeing about how terrible the judging and the how we got robbed and oh there was one guy that just would he was very very upset

that was the reason why I joined jujitsu that was the other 10% of the reason I joined jujitsu so I had the right to raise my hand you know what I'm saying like when you read the sports around you gotta ask him yeah it was the last time you got in the octagon what was the last time you went to a Muay Thai class I agree to understand what these people go through when was the last time you talked to Herb Dean on a plane or sent Herb Dean a fucking email and had him explain I had him explain both the judging system on it did we not leak yeah him and uh him and the other fucking guy John McCarty I had him explain it on here because I wanted people to understand before they kept opening their fucking mouths about this shit and all the variables that

go into it right that's the reason why I had those two guys specifically because I get sick of reading that shit like everybody's a fucking authority now get them you know it just kills me so who knows what they saw I mean part of their frustration sure they lost they lost money now let me ask you a question I'm like I said I'm stupid do they give you points for light kicks why wouldn't they okay then what the fuck how many light kicks did McGregor hit him with 92 how many I would think they would I don't know that's how fucking dumb I am okay that's how dumb I am so that's the school of thought I come from I would I would imagine that would have been counted with the striking or is that not I mean how fine I mean I just uh I try I just

turned people on the ground yeah what Connor was trying to avoid yesterday that's what that's I wish that I knew more about it so I could set an argument or but I don't and you know what and part of me doesn't really want to know about it yeah because I don't know what else to watch for like like Lee was saying the backing up mm-hmm when he kept back he was running you know what I looked at he would turn his back to him and run I looked at this there was in the third and fourth round but in the one first and second round he was doing it to conserve energy right yeah he would do it to have his guard down knowing to concern that's how I saw it yeah I didn't see it as running I saw I I definitely noticed in the first couple rounds that he was trying to um to to not wear

himself out like he did quickly right that's what I saw because I think that was part of his downfall last time is that he just he gassed himself out quick so what's his little competition you're doing on fucking salad I don't know about this what do you gotta weigh in it 130 what are you weighing it now 135 God only knows I had to I went to a little party thing last night and went to a baby shower today so I've probably I'm probably about five pounds away right now they call Mike Dolce and shit seriously five fucking pounds of sweating it out and shit what's up what are you gonna say my bro uh nothing but it's uh it's it's your second tournament second and third I'm doing two two in a row in two days I'm doing saturday and on sunday what saturday saturday is subfighter

in san anna and what sunday uh gracey worlds where anaheim I come all the tournament so now all the way they can't have a tournament down the block um we're doing one in pasadena but you're gonna be out of town if you know anything about uncle joey you're always out of town pasadena is out of town that's true that's true that's not that bad though it's right there pasadena is not that bad the drive to pasadena is harmless it really is yeah it's a nice town you know pasadena duncan lives in pasadena it's very nice up there there's parts of pasadena we don't see li because we just go to the fucking ice house right that's the only street in pasadena oh yeah is that what it's called old town is there an old town there I know there's something downtown there's a lot of

li you go down there you freak out you've been down there right yeah yeah it's yeah yeah yeah Colorado has it's like uh it's almost like an outdoor mall the whole street like there's all sorts of stores shopping uh what's the Italian restaurant that's really fucking bad is there last time I was yeah no no that's one of them but then there's the other one the loopy or some fucking thing no there's a lot of stuff out there but no it's it's nice it's uh that's what I really want my whole dream has always been like from the movies like an old town center with like a like a main street and like a few shops a couple restaurants maybe a store like a corner store

you want to be able to watch everything yeah but I don't like I love I love I love living in Boston I've never lived in Hollywood because it just at first it was too expensive and now it just seems too much but like I like pasadena glendale like those seem kind of nice to have a sort of like a down burbank has sort of like a downtown sort of scenario you want an area you can go walk around and yeah cute with yeah go hang out absolutely the worst the worst thing in your life is living somewhere and you don't know this you'll do it once in your lifetime is living somewhere where you don't belong did you ever do that yeah you did yeah I fucking did it we've all done it for stupid fucking reasons Sherman way it's above it

yeah you know where I belong we you but no not even that like you living in Hollywood you would shoot yourself really within two months because you're not in the business you have no need to be there no none at all I mean you gotta wake up twice a week and move your fucking car you gotta pay for parking you gotta do all this shit that's what I mean like like Ari Shafir take Ari Shafir Ari Shafir is a great guy but if you know anything about Ari Shafir Ari Shafir goes to bed at five in the morning Ari Shafir will take a train at 3 30 and go to Brooklyn and get a slice of pizza that's what Ari Shafir does when I do it not really not fucking really I have a milkshake and go to bed when Ari told me he was going to New York

I applauded him because he finally picked the place that worked for him I'd get home at one pick up the phone and call New York and when Ari's in town and at four Ari sounds like it's ain't no more he just walked in I want to get fucking pizza I went to a pinball place you know Ari you know but that place suited him more than a year late you know absolutely Vegas suits all three of us today we could get a job we don't have to be involved in Vegas and we like jujitsu it's big there now you know a lot of shit for you to do that but there's places where you wouldn't have nothing to do late you know if you lived in Hollywood yeah it would be cool for three months how many nights a week do you stay out past fucking 11 when we do the podcast and we when you and I

go to comedy clubs okay so beside that that's the only advantage you would have is that you would walk to the comedy club hello I would pick you up and go you know saying like that's the only real advantage you had well I lived in Hollywood I went to fucking six auditions a week I went to spots my spots are where the store the lab factory so it paid for me to fucking do it but even then like the thing about living in the city like with Ari or like in Boston you don't need a car to live with with a car I love you at all my heart okay and let's knock something fucking off okay you always need a motherfucking car in today's world I don't give a fuck what they tell you okay I don't give a fuck what they tell you you don't need a car in New York

but what if ISIS drops a fucking bomb and there's no trains what the fuck are you gonna do with public transportation you want to have a car somewhere even if it's in a fucking garage in Jersey you want to have a car somewhere that's bullshit you know I love that I love that thought I lived it I live okay if you lived in Manhattan you probably buy like a 2005 no I lived straight up and no no no I lived in New York from Jesus Christ but I went back as a fucking employee in 90 fucking three for a year and I borrowed cars like I rented cars because I just knew I found the guy that after a few months ago just give me 2999 fill up the tank and leave don't fucking dent the car so it was easy for me to get a car and shoot up to a gig to go do a gig

or to go down the shore or something like that but you always need a fucking car like somewhere yeah if I lived in New York today what am I gonna do sell my Subaru I'd probably have them in my garage three days a week because I'm that fortunate to have a garage maybe if I could even afford a house in Jersey but but I would I would use a little public transportation but you could just use public transportation for so long let me tell you someone you're sitting on public transportation your dream is to get off a public oh yeah okay okay there's some people Paula Paula was born and raised here oh yeah that knows uh she couldn't cube and jade over here was born and raised here it don't mean nothing to Becky to get up on a Sunday and drive to Santa Ana to roll for an hour

and then come back wash a pussy and shoot up to work doesn't mean nothing to Becky I have friends that live in uh what's next to Pasadena if you stay on that fucking 134 after you pass Pasadena on the 210 not that story but where the track is they have a name for that fucking time uh like Monrovia okay Monrovia I have a friend that lives in Monrovia uh-huh four kids you know when their family lives by the Ontario Empire oh that's just down yeah yeah that's just down that's just down a fucking hour with no fuck no no no they're living them okay yeah they go down there every Saturday and Sunday they're Filipinos they can't be without Filipinos so every Saturday it's somebody's birthday you know they got 85 fucking kids it's somebody's

birthday right it's always somebody's birthday somebody's always Catholicism I talk to them all the time but every Saturday and Sunday they drive just to make them like nothing I have my friends in Pasadena they go to Disneyland like I go to the fucking jujitsu with that kids I wouldn't get in that fucking road to Disneyland on a Sunday if you fucking pay me I dread Disneyland I'm looking to move out of the state before my daughter says Disneyland can you understand me do you understand what I'm trying to do here why I want to get the fuck out of here but you California motherfuckers you don't give a fuck and you take it and it's just a way of life for you I'm used to it yeah it's really weird I'm not used to it at all I couldn't imagine working five days a week and then on Sunday

I gotta go see my mother in fucking Ontario she would die she would die she might as well die there's no way I would do it once or two times I couldn't do it there is no way I could be in a corner Sunday for four hours and three hours there was no way I grew up with it I grew up my mom would always have to drive me to roller skating rinks that were an hour away when I was a kid I'd go to school she picked me up take me drive me an hour to Buena Park or to Orange County or to Pomona from Temecula how do you do it and I think I I think people grew up two different ways they're they either get used to it and they they're okay with living that way or they dread it and they're like never again because I grew up that way I don't want to ever what I

talk to people they tell me about the commute I could tell they're from California you're from California yeah yeah to drive drive an hour is you just no no that's 24 hours in a day that's two you're taking for me being in the car I don't I can't even think that way I will not go anywhere I've been to a Boulevard yeah fuck when fuck it I'm not it's gonna take 20 extra minutes for parking and traffic I avoid Ventura Boulevard that's how lazy I am people do you understand what we're talking about here we're talking about there is a traffic in Los Angeles that and at the at the end of the day I gotta tell you it's really not that bad but there's certain days that you'll get caught and you wish ISIS caught shit and stuff fucking needles in your eyeballs because you can't believe

what's going on and it's not the traffic it's the people there's not that much traffic there's not where here's anywhere here's my theory they don't want to go home because that that's where my anger comes from is my years going back and forth and my shower traffic on the 405 which I it takes about an hour and a half to go 15 miles yes that sounds right which and it just it's stop and go and it just takes and then you'll see there's a map I'll tell you exactly what it is it takes forever to get to sunset and then it opens up because no one else is coming on and being an asshole and changing lanes and then as the exits come on people our assholes when you're coming down if you're and if you're unlucky enough to live above uh where is it the 101 and the 405

trying to go under that or from the 101 to the 405 you might as well kill yourself there because these people either they're high or they don't they don't want to go anywhere so there'll be a hundred yard spaces between cars and I've never seen I go crazy I will ride your fucking ass till you either move yeah get out of the fucking way figure it out man well here I don't understand at least make my way around and fill the gap number two okay number two you grew up in California you know what Joey I really like the fucking beach what do you mean well I like to get up at six and surf okay I'm just saying Becky then you move to Malibu and you you centralize your life around Malibu but I've seen people who

live in Sherman Oaks and surf every day and then to top things off they work downtown and I go how the fuck do you do it you're in your fucking car constantly now this what we don't understand is that I'll break down to you is the same is going on listen when I go home now there's a strip called Bergen line from 48 to the 7th that was Cuban everybody knew I would get a leader that's always been that way I went back with my wife we couldn't make it to 60th street without me turning on you know New York City the traffic is fucking unbelievable you know on the Kennedy going to Long Island oh my fucking god try going down to you listen when I was a kid it would take me in my little criminal fucking cohorts it would take us an hour we would get blasted at the bar

on a Friday night till three then get in the car and drive down to Jersey Shore it was always an hour and there was nights we didn't stop for the fucking tolls we were so fucked we just went through the fucking tolls fuck the call it but now it's two hours to get down the show it's two hours to get down to Jersey showing on a Friday you leave at five you're fucking dead you're fucking dead I know one thing wherever I live I have to be centralized to where I work why do you think I don't go to the comic store that much because I don't like this store I'd be down there seven nights a week yeah that fucking Laurel Canyon gets me dizzy oh does it really on the way down the way up cold water is worse but yeah both of them cold water is worse and if

not I gotta go all the way across up to fucking yeah fucking the 101 and that's a nightmare at any fucking time so I'm stuck on a fucking dilemma I do not I don't know what happened to me with traffic one day I said I'm not doing this no more you know when I first moved here you guys at George's are gonna drop I used to drive from motherfucking sunset to motherfucking redondo beach for a slice of pizza what why because the fucking pizza was to die for and I'd make a day out of it because it would take me 40 minutes tops I would leave Hollywood at 11 o'clock and being redondo 10 to fucking 12 eating fucking a slice of pizza oh I take a walk on the pier there but uh whatever uh get a little vitamin D and I get back in the car at 115 I'd be in Hollywood

by fucking two ready for an audition if I told you I drove an hour first you would smack me in the fucking mouth I used to drive to bro the best fucking pizza around here was down on Abbott Kenny in Venice when I first got here it was on pizza on bagel oh it's still there yeah good yeah but now they had artichoke and it's people with fucking mustaches and oh yeah fuck you they when I used to go there was three pizzas and there was a Mexican chick and there's no way yeah cheese pepperoni and sausage but now we can't they got an off-door bar don't they or some shit well the place I went to doesn't but there's probably a thousand places with a lot of water that's the same place it's the same place then I just gotta agitate it because

now they put artichoke yeah they put artichoke and fucking garlic the other shit uh chili fucking the tie chicken shit drives me crazy when they put it on pizza too speaking of driving around our friend Jason Tebow posted a picture the last week I wanted to talk to you about it yeah because I called Becky and I called Lee yesterday it was a joke but I never know what you two motherfuckers so you're the two people I called with those tickets I got a call Saturday night somebody says to me hey man uh they called me the day I was shitting and puking out of my fucking mouth when were you doing that about a month ago after the surgery we got to the surgery I got that flu I got a call that night hey are you busy tonight we got backstage piss passes for you

to go see the Grateful Dead at the amphitheater I would have gone back eat we smoke a joint eat some stars you know it was from five to nine then they had an intermission it's a bunch of people smoking pot they stink a little bit but the music's good for an hour you know in a way I felt weird because the main dudes ain't there they're dead right hell they quit or whatever they retired you know Jerry Garcia is nothing I got my man Jen Cutler John Cutler that looks over me but I would have given you know my first intention is always to give stuff to people so he calls me Saturday night goes listen I got two tremendous tickets for you for the Rams take your wife on a date take Lee take whoever you want preseason would they plow him no they put wouldn't have mattered

Lee 25 years ago we would have gone we would have had a beer on the way there we would have pulled over got a little toots for the nose part get onto the game called the little bedding drink a beer you know at the game there's a couple more bumps and they're from there taking to a fucking bar and telling everybody went to the Rams game it's tremendous like we're better than you but I call Lee Lee didn't want to go on I call Becky because I never know what Becky she's a woman of intrigue maybe you want to take a moment of date you never know you know I got tickets for the Rams my god I love the Rams am I child with tea oh yeah totally a woman of intrigue you know I never know Lee wants to go to mind only football on this Friday night going oh yeah it was nine dollars

to get it I almost got snapped in the neck it wasn't bad at all so I asked Lee if he wanted Rams tickets and then I knew it was 202 I knew you couldn't give those fucking things away last night you couldn't give those things away last night only like fucking you know Michael Jackson kids went to those fucking things like the kids he molested got like the organization got a whole box of those tickets I can't take the kids so you know we've been molested but then this fucking Google it's telling me this look at this I would have I would have if I would have taken those tickets and I would have gone and this would have happened there's no fucking way I would have believed it I would not I would I would have given them to someone on the street I'm going back home our friend Jason

T but it's on the podcast this week and next week wrote wonder why the Rams had a hard time with attendance last they were here for eighty dollars to park eighty fuck preseason first preseason first preseason game eighty dollars to park who that is I don't carry eighty dollars cash on me when I go to a game I oh you don't know no you don't need cash anymore of course no I went to I went to the last UFC that was there the forum and I was able to pay my parking with a card how much did they want twenty five dollars that's kind of reasonable but the thing about LA it's reasonable to today's standards yes 20 25 dollars 80 fucking new work it was 50 when I went to the UFC I had free tickets for john jones when he won they were in jersey and

rogan was announcing and I took the tickets I'll never forget we fucking parked they were 50 fucking dollars and then there was some behind there that was 35 and then my friend said fuck it I'll get other tickets and he took off he got high remember that's when George got the banana bread hit him oh yeah and he took off because the fucking banana bread hit him so he said fuck it let me get the hell out of here that was the night because he was pissed off too he was like 50 fucking bucks it's gotta be a cheaper place 25 dollars pisses me off well you know that's that's today's stand that's why I won't go to those things god that's why I refuse to go to those things anymore what are the what are the fucking dodgers want the dodgers know the dodgers included yeah they

included the price of the ticket because a lot of times I buy a ticket and then like the price of the ticket the angels are like 12 now they used to be like eight say what I'll I'm on record as not really enjoying Dodger Stadium I don't think I don't think the fan experience is that great I don't I don't I think people show up late well the one thing I'll say for the Dodgers they have a free bus from Union Station so what we do is we take the train from north Hollywood to the bus goes all the way up to the top so you don't have to walk up to the top that's that's nice and it's free and it takes you it takes you back too it was great now when you go to wait along is a long way no if you go to Boston though how's the experience at the stadium now and Fenway I love it

Fenway now Bill Burr says that it's why the fuck oh yeah well of course well before they've actually had some trouble like when I was in high school and college more so college they had like a sellout streak for years like I think it just ended that like a year or two ago now every game yeah the Red Sox yeah the Red Sox yeah the Red Sox are in Boston yes I'm the sellout streak those are quite impressive but now so but yeah so they have the pink hats they have they have the people I sat in the whitest space is ever I've never talked about this it was called it used to be called the 406 club now it's something else up above home plate what did you sit there my when my dad worked at legal seafood okay all right they had like corporate

seats it was like behind glass they had free popcorn waiters and it was great it was fun you like popcorn don't you I don't like popcorn fuck popcorn really I don't know fucking popcorn not even at the movies sometimes I get the popcorn they have that fucking they have the garlic salt that you can put in the popcorn oh where's that at the arc line I've never been here oh I've been a one I've been there once you buy the popcorn they have like flavored butters now and they have a stand so fancy no no flavored butters they have powders oh powders they have powders they have powders and they have garlic and something else they have onion and something else parmesan cheese something else and you put it and you shake the

popcorn and you put it on top and you go in that body for the house for my wife and the fucking thing got hard and the humidity something happened to the fucking powder I'm so hungry right now that sounds so good but that's what but yeah but it's difficult but it's hard I can't imagine $80 but it parking is crazy in Boston but in Boston of the train this is going to be the thing and this isn't even their primary home they're going to be there for like two or three years and then to move to Englewood oh that's right they were in the Coliseum I last time I felt anything at a football game was 93 I went to see the Jets against the Philadelphia Eagles and that was the last time I felt like a human being at an event ever since then while I'm sitting there I'm going

I can't believe I did this for this ticket I can't believe I paid this much for this ticket I don't enjoy the experience because the whole time I'm thinking about how I got fucked in the ass so a part of me pisses me the fuck off you know for years I could just ask Joe for a ticket for a UFC right and I would look at the ticket and see how much the ticket costs and how it gets sick to my stomach and I would tell Joe don't you have cheaper tickets also I like I always like to top the side on the top there you know not to sound like a fucking asshole but I always felt weird like those tickets are $1,100 for New Year's and shit remember years ago when Chuck Lendell those no those tickets on the bottom were like $1,100 during the year

but on New Year's Eve those tickets are $3,000 when Chuck Lendell fought somebody and I went December 30th or something when January 2nd those are the fights that it becomes a complete different clientele that's why those yeah New Year fights they always have to have a white headliner they cannot be a Brazilian or something on those headliners it's got to be Captain America it's got to be somebody who's Conor McGregor GSP I was just thinking all Gabe Aldo McGregor what was it $192 or something that was was it New Year's Day no that was just that was like middle middle of December but it was one of those big cards like yeah but no the card right between Christmas and New Year's it's a different clientele well this one was a different clientele that ticket that I

had I almost fell to the floor when I saw the ticket price which ticket for Aldo McGregor it was like December like 13 oh yeah that was the same ticket yeah and that was also Weidman Rockhold all that stuff there was so much with the tickets they were like it was like five rows up from the floor it said $2,000 on each ticket it wasn't on the floor it was five rows up $2,000 at $8 a beer now whenever people tell me that shit I always think I'm an American family that's when I get pissed off I think of an American family I think of a guy who's a mechanic at Ford and his wife is a school nurse and they want to go to a fucking the kids want to go to a UFC they got to go to fucking Vegas or to fucking pay for these tickets that's what I've never really

understood but I think tickets are more expensive in Vegas than around the country I think they adjust them around the country to the something I remember noticing that with concert tickets before here they would be you know one thing and over there another 50 bucks it would piss me off because I played you know I went to see Julia serving against the fucking sixes against the nicks Christmas day to me that's the biggest ticket like I never thought I could score that ticket let's score that ticket for $17 or scalp for 20 that ticket would be what would it be now well when the Lakers play Christmas day now I looked at the cheapest ticket for the Lakers and it was $297 and it was under the fucking fan all the way up on top on Christmas day $197

I'm sorry okay again so I'm a mechanic I gotta save a boy year to give my kids two tickets to see the Lakers on Christmas fucking day that's rough man that's rough and I know that you have to make a profit I'm not against you making a profit I know Kobe milk Kobe whatever his fucking name is Harris Kobe whatever Brian Brian's $30 million a year but that's your responsibility what about the American family I mean this country was raised on baseball this baseball is supposed to be American there's few fucking stadiums that offer you I think the Bronco the Denver has dollar tickets again but your son's got to sit with fucking ex-felons your son takes a glove they steal it from him you know this is what I'm also thinking about the

safety of the stadiums you know I went to a thousand of those fucking Mac games for 15 bucks thousands thousands thousands you know so hey whatever who the fuck knows I don't know what they do with this money I don't know I used to go to a lot of concerts when I was late teens early 20s and I remember some some shows that I'd buy tickets to maybe a hundred dollars to sit in the most expensive seats maybe a hundred dollars now 350 bucks easily for the same show and you grew up in California so who would you go see concerts at the forum no I went to a few at the forum I guess but it was more in more recent years but um universal amphitheater when that existed um the pond in anaheim which I don't know what it's

called now anymore the pond in anaheim um and I did some at the staple center it was already around for me but I went to a lot of club shows too but but even but the bigger ticket shows it was a hundred bucks maybe to sit way up there I remember scalping a ticket off of someone outside of an aerosmith concert and this was probably 2004 five for a hundred bucks and I was sitting on the floor so what did you combine about I'm I wasn't complaining but now that same ticket when you paid a hundred for what was the face value of the ticket it was it was pretty close back then it was still it was still around 79 bucks 80 bucks about a hundred bucks maybe 120 bucks have you guys seen what's been going on at the olympics with pegpocketing

I've been interested to get your take on that Joey what did I say no I'm just saying it's brazil yeah yeah aren't they kind of known for like it's brazil but um like they're like they're just running around the streets just like snatching phones like phones and stuff was that was that anything that you ever experienced in New York or were you he was wondering it because it's just crazy I'm not saying that you were pegpocket but I don't know nothing about the olympics okay I don't know anything about the fucking olympics I don't know what's going on with the olympics and I gotta tell you something I got mouths to feed so I don't really give a frenchman's fuck about the olympics but I will tell you something

who ever decided I'm brazil for the olympics doesn't even read the paper like I'm not an international traveler and I don't want to be an international traveler I mean it scares me it just takes me out of my comfort zone well that too but it just takes me out of my comfort zone I don't know the laws I don't know what you could do I don't know what you can't do right you have one of the biggest events in the world going to one of the worst places on earth with a virus going on with a virus going on that gives pregnant women that kids come out with a funnel on their fucking head and men now it causes dimension it started in brazil didn't it oh did it yeah the zika virus started in fucking brazil so now it's seen in

miami you do know that cubans are going to swim to fucking texas now who the fuck wants to go to miami I just bought a ticket to miami yeah you better call them back because that ticket dropped that ticket dropped to two dollars to sit and they rub your feet and they fucking massage you goes who the fuck's gonna go to miami now but it's just pregnant women I'm not pregnant I'm fine that really doesn't matter you're going down there to get a stab and then you don't know what's gonna happen maybe he gets bit by the zika virus next thing you know you're gonna rest and practice with a kid they're kicking around because his head matches the mat the corner's there I don't fucking know I don't fucking know Becky but you know I've heard a thousand stories about brazil

over the years you know I've heard a thousand stories they have to behave yourself but then again guys it's like any other metropolitan city you're gonna go to as a tourist if you have tourists written all fucking over you you're gonna get robbed you're gonna get robbed there's people who wait all year for that type of shitly and you're gonna be walking around playing bokeh man when you're walking around on the phone these people living those things called bovaras for vellas for vellas they're living a fucking hut and you're gonna be walking around didn't I know that something's going on with a phone that cost more in their house right somebody got robbed in the olympics and he said he didn't get robbed oh is that what I keep hearing there's a thousand

things going on there that there people were fucking and sucking what are you doing you're going to brazil you don't go to pray you're gonna fucking suck you know what I mean they're brazilian they will fucking suck you a bunch of athletes that are in their prime their savage is down there in brazil what do you think you're gonna brazil for nobody goes to brazil to fucking they're gonna fight play soccer to fucking suck that's it look at those brazilians they look like they fucking suck constantly what's their menu they eat you gotta put a fucking thing on your plate they keep giving you meat when you eat that much meat it's because you're fucking jack vegans don't fuck that don't eat that that don't fuck that much all right brazil what do you think

happens what the fuck do you think happens with 20 year old kids when you put them all together right and they all look like beautiful yeah like all these olympians were like yeah there's a couple ugly ones that they put wigs on and makeup and fix the eyebrows and shit but besides that they you know I mean it's a fucking poor place what do you think's gonna happen what did you hear about that pick pocketing shit half those motherfuckers are lucky they're coming back I mean I understand that and I understand the the theory behind it but to also like it's whenever I hear about pick pocketing I imagine like someone just like sneakily one running through

maybe going into one purse they're just running up and like snatching it from that lead are you talking about that video with the kid like jumps in the bus and pulls the phone out of someone's hand yeah yeah way way way way way way before I knew anything about anything you put the shit together when it fucking hails in Colorado people pick up their bags in new jersey and go to Colorado and roofing people because it's all it's all people go to where the action is late people go to what their action is you know we were talking who was here who was the guest who was talking about New York in the 70s when you walked down 42nd Street what it became you went from the regular movies on the one side then the other side were regular movies and then as

you walked they got the x-ray and that area also had people that were selling drugs those people also pickpockets those people were also people that when you went to buy drugs all of a sudden they showed up as cops and they took all your money so you didn't go to jail you know uh they had them at the store and some kid runs and he goes you're not gonna believe it there's a guy out there offering people $400 to play three card monthly what 400 bucks he'll give you $400 and then you have to put in 400 of your own and play three card monthly that's the quickest scam in the fucking world I could tell you not to do it but you're gonna do it and you're gonna do it until you lose money and then you'll call me back and go can you fucking believe that guy joined me

go what I fucking tell you not to fucking do it I don't do it because I got taken for $20 when I was fucking in the eighth grade I learned your lesson and they you know when you're in the eighth grade and you have 40 hours and somebody takes 20 of it you learn quick and then the kid next to me god rest his soul came up to me and said are you a fucking asshole don't you know that's a fucking scam and while he's talking to me he saw the card through his right eye even the guy even folds it you know what three card monthly is you know what three card monthly absolutely it's three cards yeah it's two red ones and a black one and he folds the black one and he goes ready yeah find the black one and he starts doing this moving the cards around

next thing you know even the card with the fucking fold that you fold it don't tell you to fold it you'll put 20 hours down that's a fucking red card so what they do in new york in the 80s and late 70s and 80s mid 80s was you have a guy and a look and basically your office is a milk cart with a fucking piece of cardboard that's your office and people walk by and if 10 people walk by one of they know it percentage you know also one comes over two comes over three and once they start playing then everybody wants to play yeah and also when you get a thousand two thousand dollars he says police you throw the thing up and you run and there you are going what the fuck what the fuck you took me for a hundred dollars and you

I used to see it constantly in new york and giggle and walk away shaking my angle thank god I learned that when I was fucking 12 not when I was 38 like you did you fucking mongoloid with your kids in front of you losing money on the street with your three little mongoloids there standing on daddy daddy what happened he's got I saw a guy to get taken for his traveler's checks and I saw the same scam in new york city but you know where I saw it expertly in san francisco on market street I saw it that they had it down to a scam they had a difference what were they doing they even had the cops on it wow what we would add some chinese cops in on it dog these guys were fucking brutal down that so does anyone ever win ever a hand not a fucking dime not even one to like maybe let's

but you're in with me so I give the lead 200 I go leak them over and play and let me win and when leaves up 400 I get three other suckers that go leo start yelling I won I won because Lee's in for 10 points right sometimes I got a three-man operation a four-man operation and those operations remember you pop two three thousand every 15 minutes so you do that twice in an hour you do that twice in an hour at eight different locations oh you're good for a while it's a tremendous fucking scam but the other night 2016 at the comedy store a guy was doing it up front were people four hundred dollars seriously people were playing it because it came and he goes I don't know uncle joey what do you think I go listen go upstairs smoke a joint forget about

going to a spa go mind your business you don't even need that shit was Tony Bennett lead oh shit oh dear I want to be around you feel the way I feel great pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart oh why don't you sing it though I can't disrespect Tony Bennett okay twice as smart you're so into it you want to dance sure you lead or do you want me to lead keep it up Lee I'm gonna have you up there dancing like my looping on that fucking chant taking off your little juice shoes and fucking jumping up and down used to do with me

who'll leave you to god fuck punish me for saying juice shoes I bit my own yeah we need to give a fucking up to those people fucking murdered your son you're gonna stick up for that good looking out yeah thanks buddy so now you're what generation Cuban here first no shit yeah both my parents were born out there so they were born out there and then they went where from where to where my dad went to Mexico for a little bit and my mom went to Spain for like six months before she came out here no shit yeah what she said about spain oh she was like four or five she isn't the fuck out of

people these what the fuck kind of people these and shit they were in spain with their four years old who hangs like that I don't know I thought that's how I thought I thought that was what was normal as people go to other countries then so she went there with her parents for six months and then came here then your dad went to Mexico no he was one of the the kind of Peter Pan type things because he went with um his cousins and an aunt how old like 14 he left his family in Cuba they didn't come until like 10 years later a little more maybe yeah yeah my dad was like in 1970 that was during all those Peter Pan kids right Peter Pan kids yeah yeah they were doing that for a long time that's how Ricky Ricardo got up here that's how Rudy

Sargero came up in that program where they moved the whole family boat so everybody knows I'm moving so Saturday I'm fucking picking up shit and I'm throwing shit out in my drawer and I'm finding shit and I find my sister's phone number in Cuba so I take the car go to liquor store the biggest calling card they got is five bucks wow so I buy two five-dollar calling cards I asked the guy these are they good he goes yeah how long is that conversation last thing I didn't know until I fucking got home they were like eight minutes but we did get to talk a little bit after about a year and I ratted my uh uncle out to her you know I said yeah a couple minutes ago let me tell you what happened in 1984 I came out here my mom was dead and I came out here asked him for help he

spit in my face and and she goes I know he said you tried to rob him I go I tried to rob him when he wouldn't fucking pay me what he owed me and I go my mom sent him money and she goes I know your mom sent everybody money when we were talking and my sister always felt that my mom left her in the states but after we discussed it last time this time she goes you know there's something I gotta tell you when our mom came to me she goes she was about to have you so she didn't want to to have you here she wanted to have you in the states so she went to New York but New York was too fucking cold to some so she went back to Cuba then she stayed a little longer but but then she would leave me in you with not her grandma I always thought we stayed with our grandma she goes no you stay we

stayed with a lady called Tita that was her friend and your mom would leave us our mom would leave on Monday mornings and come back on Friday there she go she'd go to the city and she had him booked me an operation at the restaurant and she would come back she goes she did that for a while and then every other week she would stay for two weeks and she kept doing that and then one day she came and she goes she's done that she was putting you in school in New York but she goes I went to New York a few times like you guys do you remember when I go fuck now fuck no I don't remember nothing she goes oh yeah I got the pictures we she took us down to some fucking toy store she goes you were wrapped up you weren't even walking so it's fucking crazy she's got all this

shit so then she goes the truth of the matter is when she came to me she wanted to leave because she's wanted to put you in school I wanted you to stay here she was seven she goes I want you to go to school here I wanted to be your big fucking sister trying to be in your life she didn't want to do that she wanted me in the United States to learn English so she took my sister said I'll stay here so my mom didn't leave it with the family they left her with Tita so when they went back and she had me then my dad died her dad died they shipped them back she goes no I wasn't allowed to go if you know so yeah we would we talked about some but the main thing she talked about was that she goes your family's a piece of shit right out I mean right out and I go you didn't know that I go you

didn't fucking know that and she goes let me tell you something when your family found out your my grandmother found out how much money my mother was sending Tita she went out and took my sister and said she wanted that money so she goes I was raised accordingly to how much money your mother sent our mother sent you know I'm saying so it was kind of just uh it fucked me up it fucked my day up because like I told my wife like I told I don't know if I told you even totally this till now you know I've never cried wolf about my mom dying like I never when I was like 20 I put it together they want to be one of those people that was my badge on you know I'm saying I'm not saying that uh my little sister cried wolf well my older sister

cried wolf what I am saying is my life ain't dick compared to hers like my life wasn't dick compared to hers me waking up next to a piece of shit and me getting hooked on drugs and my mom died at least I had my mom for fucking 16 years where she didn't and then she lived this mystery because they couldn't tell my grandmother my mom was dead you know that for a while so for 10 years this little fucking girl thought that her mother wasn't calling it what she didn't know is that the fucking lady was dead so for 10 years this poor little fucking young girl walked around in the mystery until the mother died until our grandmother died then they had the nerve to tell the fucking family that this woman died why didn't they tell who the fuck knows I wasn't involved on that I was

trying to fucking uh walk around and be a man I didn't know what the fuck was going on do you ever think about going back to Cuba when you were young fuck no yeah I knew that one was coming fuck no like when I was young I talked to them on the phone I talked to my sister where my mom would call but it was the farthest thing from my mind the only thing I thought about was maybe you're going to Miami that that was my fucking Cuba that was my fucking Cuba after my mother died I had no numbers I had no fucking numbers you know I didn't know what to do or what to fucking call the only one I kept in touch with was my uncle out of here that sack of shit but my fucking I mean my fucking sister went off on the family off and

they did they treated her like a fucking second hand fucking citizen so she was raised like the second hand citizen I offered her the identity sponsor and get her up here yeah she taught me to go fuck myself really she's not interested in leaving she's she's 60 years old yeah she says she's 60 what the fuck is she gonna go now I mean my my grandparents came when they were when they were older but but at the same time their kids were already here and stuff so why not like their fan they were moving the whole family it wasn't just listen man the the fucking this day I would never even tell my daughters this or my one daughter has to know by now one way or another but the little one I would never

I don't want her to learn the word hate I don't want her to learn the word stupid as a young age stupid and hate a fucking I rather than she say fuck than say hate to think about that emotion yeah and my mom never taught me to hate but let me tell you something there's two people I fucking can't stand and that's my uncle and my fucking ex-wife I mean you know Jim Jones had an out plan I had an out plan if this didn't work out on the way out I was gonna stab my uncle and then fly to color I don't kill my ex-wife and that was going to be the end of Joey Diaz you never heard of Joey Diaz again he go to a fucking jail cell and sit there right I was prepared to do that because of the hatred I have for those two and when my fucking sister told me that when he went to

Cuba in 89 he told them that like a dinner he goes oh no he's fucked up he tried to rob me and shit that's like the biggest smack in the face to me like that was fucking my sister said that her spine almost broke my sister goes I hadn't seen you and I didn't know you but I knew that wasn't you because I knew my mother I knew her mother and I knew how she was how crazy she was I mean she hung out with a loopy so it's just that that really that that broke the hate back to 1987 like I said when I was doing time I would call them once a weekend threat in Spanish did you know that when I was doing fucking time in 1988 I would sit there once a week your one phone call no I'd have whatever phone calls I want as long as you had called as you

could make fucking phone call okay but I would call him in his house in Spanish tell him that why I'm not that way and he would think I was Mexican and he'd start telling me all the shit he didn't do you can't do nothing to me that wasn't my that wasn't your wife she's not with you no more she's with me like he was just right on the phone about the situation I had nothing to do with wow like he thought it was I was somebody's Mexican husband or something is he still alive yeah in fact do you know where he's at yeah he's in Glendale in fact he's close this whole conversation started because my cousin called the house in December his daughter who the whole war the second war with us like I love my uncle you know what I'm saying you will have a relative

you love him he's a piece of who you are that's who you are that's right but the thing he did in 84 I forgave but I didn't forget and whenever I would meet him to eat with him I mean he's my blood I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt it was still there like there was always that pause where somebody was in the ass what happened and one day I did ask at Langers and he got really nervous and he was like you showed up I could see death was in your eyes and I'm like you fucking moron you know which I was fucked up when I showed up I was crazy and I was out of my fucking mind but I was more broken I was a broken fucking kid he was 21 years old the olympics were in LA that's why he came here he got a job at the phone company in 1984

what are you gonna do things are weird Becky people are strange you were like three yeah yeah you were three in 1984 I was over here slinging dick already smacking mother fuckers in 84 carrying a gun I came on a carrying a gun and shit now good luck doing that where the fuck was I going so you know I fucking hate him though I just uh we tried to put it together for like three or four years and we did and then we scheduled a Thanksgiving dinner and she called me and said he doesn't want to eat at the house so I said okay fine so I made other Thanksgiving plans and he called two days later he was just still coming over I go no Martha said you know that's not what I said so do you understand it was one of those type of things and then Christmas we went

to my other cousin's house her brother and there she was sitting in the living room like I got a cousin that's always causing more that wasn't the sister and I went in living room I go why come you not sit with the adults get in there that was a fucking problem like there's always something with her you know saying like gosh you don't like the guy's wife or you know I me and my wife went to yoga with this lady for a year sweetest year laying the year well you know we found that it's my cousin's wife's sister like after a year of us doing yoga and calling her mom because she had two kids and talking to her and whatever so we told my cousin my cousin hated I fucking hate her she's a two-faced fucking it what are you talking about what are you fucking

talking so I just told her dangle instead of sitting here hating it's Christmas go in the other room with mingle it's fucking Christmas you're still sitting there hating eating with fucking three-year-olds with my daughter and the thing but what did he and she got pissed so she never talked to me again really so a year later she called the house last December and she goes listen my brother went to Cuba and they gave him an envelope for you so I asked my sister what was in the envelope she goes I sent you a picture your mother and your father's wedding picture so I got up yesterday wanting to listen Terry get my fucking cousin on the phone and give her the address here and tell her mail the fucking picture so she finally yeah she called in December and said

I'm bringing you the picture next week when I go see my mother my mother's in the boarding home right by the fucking old people restaurant up the block from my burdo crane jiu-jitsu there's a mall they have those old fucking restaurants there's a McDonald's there's a burger king there's a Toys R Us on victory oh yeah oh isn't that a langur or no no du pars du pars where people go to eat and die I'm surprised Lee don't eat that I can't wait for Lee to come back and I went to DuPars and had turkey dinner it was the is it DuPars no I walked out of a DuPars DuPars is the one on Ventura correct yes yeah no that's something else that's old the old old people but it's like a diner like yes it's a diner it's DuPars there's another there's a few locations of DuPars in the terrible

parking lot over by Ventura and Laurel Canyon where the where the um the back to the future Burger King is where I'm talking about victory where there's a car dealership and there's a Cuban where we took mercy to eat for the baptism if you go the long way there yeah there's a like a little restaurant there we went there with a one time to eat with her man yeah the fucking food even the way there's what fucking like missing an eye it's like worse than white gas it's fucking something from another planet it's something from another planet it does seem like that kind of diner yeah so we went in there one time nothing is eatable the turkey is old the gravy looks like fucking uh like this mixture yeah the stuffing was scooped up the carrots are falling off that

when the carrots don't want nothing to do with the stuffing you got yourself a fucking dilemma I mean everything was bad but you know I sat there with the baby and we played we talked so the thing the housing is right around the corner it's my point you know on the way here on the way this and I know she goes to see her mother she says she's gonna drop the letter that was fucking December it's August and they never even called again so I hope now that she sends the fucking envelope to the new house and that's the end of that relationship with these people it's tough when you're a family member who you don't like because you're like I'd been drilled into my head forever that in the end this is the only people these are the only people you're gonna have right and like oh maybe

what if I like what if I don't like them I mean so it's not the entire family usually listen brother there's just a select few I heard something when I was a young young man that sucked it listen I know how it is with family I've had family I've had street family I've had no family and you'd be fucking surprised who comes through the most but I heard something once the friendship is the only thing that you could choose in your life because you really can't choose your family really can't choose your family you're stuck with your mother your fucking father you know I mean nobody hates their fucking parents you know but uh I never I used to have this friend in Boulder this Cuban kid Danny Feebles I still talked to him

good friend of mine the young guy and one day he came over me and we were talking he goes you know fucking Ryan my partner Ryan says that him and you speak more than him and his brother that really bothers him you know he never thought about it so he worked with me and this kid talks to his Cuban brothers every day he's got one Cuban brother so skinny they call him fatiga because he's so skinny they just call him fatigue it means fatigue like he just looks fatigued a real funny Cuban family really funny Cuban family the father's dead now God rest his soul the mother died years ago but what the fuck are we talking about even though I'm so those mushrooms got me fucking giggling here um that that family isn't necessarily your

blood like your friends can be closer you come up I came up with no family so for me I understand the love of the family you know I'm saying like I see it from a different perspective would I be a different do you think I live in California my mother lived in Jersey at this age are you fucking kidding me I live around the fucking corner right I drive in a bingo I go and eat like yell at her she'd yell at me you know the fucking deal I'll give a fuck about Terry and what she thinks Terry'd have to live with it this is my mom dog that's the way life is that's just the way life fucking is you know so when people tell me like I like to you know I worry about Lee's mom is away you know his mom lives in Bolton Boston you know I understand it

I fucking get it you know like this uh I get it but then I also I also get the part of people not fucking liking family man but I don't like when somebody passes and then there's a few that I don't like that's horrible all those families should go to fucking burn an hell that's terrible that's terrible that's terrible that's terrible you know that's terrible people don't like each other if you don't like your cousin since you were five I fucking get it he tried to stick your head in the dog shit I get it man and he's a creepy fuck you end up being a pervert so you're right you don't like your fucking cousin but for uh you know I just never dreamt of being in this position in a lifetime uh I thought that when my mother died my uncle would step up and I can't

lie he tried not overwhelmingly tried he put out his hand he goes if you want to come to California we'll work it out it was like he kept calling me going I want you I want you I want you I want you know when I said no I'm sure it was a big bag of relief nobody wanted a fucking 16 year old kid that lost her mother at that home at that age you know but I thought family would have reacted differently and the the best thing I learned was that your family doesn't have to be blood not even by a fucking long shot that that that's a fos and I'm living fucking proof of that I'm living proof of that my the people who adopted me all those years their nephews and nieces have become my nephews and nieces there you know I talk to Mike every week I talk to fucking

this guy every week and Bobby every you know I talked to whoever I could you know and when the time permits like I never forgot those people those people became my people and they really are they're my nieces that's just the way fucking life is they're my nephews it's just the way life is and not it just it just bothered me that my sister said that that I can't even imagine and again before the fucking phone hung up because a little operator comes on I explained to her that I wish we could have taken footage of my mother at night like my mom got up like I did Lee Lee knows how I get a dog when I get up I call Lee and we start going and we're rocking and rolling and we're laughing and we're saying fucked up shit but Lee when after you hang up are you not in the shower giggling

going what the fuck is my life become I got this savage but and my mom went like that all day long and that McGregor pace you know all day long drinking those fucking drinks hanging out with this crazy person but man the last hour of her day was brutal why because her day would catch up with her mm that's when what's in the closet creeps up with you and I would see her emptying on her bra you know like she would empty out her bra she'd take out the cash she'd take up the receipts for the day this and that a knife and then she'd take out a little coke and whatever the fuck she had her bra and then well I would see the transformation of no matter how many drugs she did no matter how many shots she did no matter how much money she wanted to track that day no matter if the match won

and she was going to the World Series and she already had tickets no matter how good her life was the last 20 minutes of her day were horrible because she thought about my sister in Cuba and no matter what was going on no matter what was going on it overwhelmed her I would see it I would see it I would see it sometimes that she would have to go to another room and it would draw her tears that's how much I would see it that no matter what was going on her life so I stressed that to my sister I said listen man you didn't see it when she was dead on the floor I could see what killed her and 30 percent of what killed her was your relationship with her she talked to her all the time and she sent the money every week they talked all the time

on the phone I mean yeah listen man in those days my mother's phone bill was 300 miles a month back in the 75 yeah yeah her phone bill was always she didn't give a fuck no number one she called New York 80 times a day her phone started at 8 with New York what's going on where's the action going today what numbers and then I remember the number comes the Brooklyn number comes out at 3 but there's the New York number and that comes out every half hour on the hour you know so you call to get that number how do we do call back in five minutes he's on the phone you know all those things there's a lot of people listening to this podcast you never had a landline or no they used to cost money to call far away places that there was no

unlimited no unlimited if you call the different area called you got bang dog yeah they used to be distinct sports phone we've discussed it before if you're a gambler way before CNN sports way before anything you know either you had a radio that could listen let's say tonight you lived in LA and you bet Milwaukee against the Lakers you your sister fucks the center from the Lakers she told you that his ass over it's they party they did blow last night they're not gonna be going down okay so what are we talking about sports sports phones let's say tonight you call your bookie that's an eight o'clock how do you how do you find the score Natalie you go ESPN.com yeah but it says no back then how do you find this morning back then yeah 1985 what would you do

no ESPN no fucking thing here no way auntie no CNN that gave you you know there was one channel I gave you ESPN I was gonna say what up and is this a televised game you can't can you call someone no so these are just yeah these are like games that you couldn't fuck that you can watch okay there's no other basketball game that you could tap into to even get that score but there was a call there was a phone 1-800 talk sports so you would call them and they were going this is Lisa yeah up to the hour on the money every money every 15 minutes giving you the new report in the NBA no first day would go all right by the way for free pegs go to 888-651-8181 and get your free pegs stop being a mean while you're being charged by the fucking minute and then they're gonna go down a list and

you can't pick which game you have to sit there and listen to the whole list so god forbid you better Tuesday and it's college basketball oh my god and you being the loser who you are at that time you because if you're calling sports phone you're the kiss of death anyway buildings are falling next to your people are dying you just wait for something to give you the fucking memo and you would call sports from let's say you bet the lake is no walkie and it would open up good evening this is chip chenery first call sports and by the way 800 44444444 get free pegs right now this is chip chenery back here talking to you from the world of sports okay number one let's go down the list of college basketball once he said that your temple was furious and he would

do it fucking lightning quick friday michigan's day what i want to do so now you're sitting there going jesus christ you're at a bar there's music on yeah god forbid you miss it and you're like and now to the nhl yeah and now to late breaking news you know basically china's ping-pong team will not make the olympics and you're like i don't give a fuck about china's fucking ping-pong team give me the score the lake is against the fucking my Milwaukee box and they're spitting out everything spitting out everything and then finally the mba and all of a sudden they're like and your game is last and then god forbid you miss it yeah like god forget what do you say 66 60 god damn it god damn it whole cycle lila give me some more fucking corners will you that was the bartender's name

at john man's over kids we would be calling that fucking number all night at the bar for 50 cents so you don't really realize it it's when you go home and you would call it all night long let's say you're in jersey you bet the lake is lake is don't start in new york till 10 30 that night yeah the lake is starting at 7 30 that's 10 30 in new york and you didn't want to wait till the end of the game you had to call over oh no no you will fucking call all night when you get home when we would get home in those days that's the first thing mike would say to me what's this going to lake again they're the only motherfuckers that could save me i don't know what are we gonna do i don't know put the tv on what's going to call that call sports run and you would call sports run every 15

minutes because what you want to do is get it in the rotation and sometimes you would call me we'd be busy oh your blood pressure would boil this shit what would your parents say when they see the 400 dollar sports phone well my parents were dead but i had like whitey old donald chuckie mcbreen and like three or four friends in the eighth grade who went to the gambling bug with me and what we're doing the eighth grade is just calling each other up and that like we would split a five timer what's a five timer it's 12 50 if you win 15 if you lose we were kids don't let me tell you some 12 50 on an album six dollars and a movie's two dollars that's a lot of money though i still got three dollars to take mama over and get her an ice cream

and be finger banging behind the church what are you nuts or what oh my god gambling at in like a high school not the one thing my high school did for some reason we were playing dice i was like the whitest high school in america and i played dice it's really it's weird i don't know look at the shape of you yeah and you're talking about dice is weird dice is fun for you it looks like two ice cubes what that's why it's weird because you can't eat it can't suck it telling people the acid smells that smells like garlic and then it's like and then you put this kiss of death on me every 15 minutes give me a report about fucking like it's the fucking sports thing so you got two tournaments this weekend yes but

on no but matt therapy is doing their own fucking thing so you're really working this podcast into a tournament second june year in shit yeah i like you got victor working it not yet maybe someday no we've got um a tournament on september 18th in pasadena it's the la nogi open and um and we're also doing we're doing like these open mat beach party things and so the next one we did one the day after the last ebi and we're going to do it again the day before ebi because the ebi 8 is on a sunday september 11th so we're going to do september 10th at the beach in san amonica and if you leave early there's not that much traffic it's not that bad of drives wait to san amonica listen i got shows done that anyway right now i got shows

done thank god thank god thank god so you don't feel obligated obligated to drive to san amonica that's for young people that might sit in traffic on a saturday and walking for parking and then walking around with a cooler and sweating oh i'm doing it for this i wouldn't do that on a regular basis drive to san amonica uh uh that's like the other side of the world it really that's what seems like after a while oh it does yeah listen i could tell my acupunctus she just never called me again once she took 10 years once she closed her office because she knew she knew what wasn't gonna work wasn't she right here down the street she was but she lives in marina del rey and her office isn't marina del rey oh yeah so she would only come up here once a week at first yeah now that's

too much think about it from her perspective she was coming up but she only had three clients it wasn't really worth her while you know so uh when she when she moved you know she goes you're still my client called me and then i told her i called her for the nose surgery and i forgot but she never even called me i know this woman she always called she always called you know i'm saying always to check on the cats the baby how are you what's going on i mean this is rare for her not to call but i just took it as uh maybe it was just a breakup it was time to fucking break out you know maybe it was time to do something else in your life you know i'm not driving the marina del rey haven't talked to her no it's the weirdest fucking thing yeah so i don't know what happened

hopefully she's okay yeah listen man she always called the fucking house i don't know what to do i don't want to call and seem like i'm fucking threatening her or what's that word when you stalk somebody i don't want to seem like a stalker i mean her and i used to talk all the fucking time if something happened to her somebody would have read it on the paper the cops would have fucking called me my name is in her fucking phone right they would have called and said woman's where were you on joy eighth you know it's like a law and order fucking episode i don't know uh joey pecky is like she's really into social media and everything and there's a word that i want to get your opinion on look what you think that what do you think about it a word yes adulting

you're asking him how he feels about the word adulting yes i'm asking him how he feels about the word adulting i have a feeling i don't even know what it means that's number one i feel like he's about to tell you to go fuck yourself no i don't even know what it means number one number two it's got nothing to do with me i guess it's being a grown-up yes yeah it's like what people who like the millennials who you hate that term are saying whenever they do something like making their laundry they're adulting yeah they need a pattern it's their way of padding themselves on the back i adulthood today i did my laundry listen these poor people these poor fucking i had to get a job i'm adulting i don't know nothing about those words li they don't

mean nothing to me you know listen li you get up you wash your pussy you smoke a joint you eat your cereal and you go out then you do the best you could do every fucking day i don't know if it's adulting on that i know when i was eight and i would come home in the summer as my stepdad would fucking wake me up at four in the morning and i have to go to this market to get roses and flowers got glavios cubans like glavios and people in new york like glavios in those days there's long three-foot fucking thing and they have different colors and we would get other flowers also i didn't know what though daisies and shit like i don't know what their fucking name but i used to have to take the fucking flowers pick up these cases take them into like ocelot

flow down 57th and hudson street and then i would take the fucking roses and take a de-stemmer and with gloves on i would de-stem the fucking roses when i was eight nine in those summers i would de-stem the fucking roses and i would get little picks on my fingers and i would do that to about 10 and then about 10 i had like a half hour break and then at 11 o'clock maybe around there i would eat cuban food like a 10 and then 11 i had to fucking cross the street and they had a butcher shop which is really a numbers office but it was a butcher shop so i had to go over there and stock the shelves and throw all the fucking empty meat things away now when i was eight you guess what i did with the ten dollars they paid me i go buy fucking balloons or firecrackers

or i'd stick a fucking condom up my asshole at that point in my life i didn't think i was adulting i think i was buying shit i was getting money so i could buy shit so i could waste it so i don't know what the fucking adulting is i have no idea i didn't feel like an adult and i was making 10 20 bucks a day but they were paying me they were paying me at that age that's a lot for an eight-year-old fuck yeah i could make 150 over there in west new york a week over there with them chopping up meat and fucking i would never chop up the meat because i would faint if i cut my finger so i kept me away from knives in those days and i was just allowed to throw away fucking throw away boxes and shit like that you know these fucking people

gonna give shitting a new name pretty soon if we let them yeah what's what's you know it's called living your life did you ever just live your life without a fucking code without a fucking name or without a fucking motion no without a hashtag is there a thing called you know i sit there some nights becky and i go wow i can't believe i've laid this story on people you know like i've laid this story on people like on a podcast or whatever the other day somebody was telling me about the what's happening i did this arish i'm like we can't believe you told that story i listen you know what i can't believe i got the story but in the way i'm proud because i have this story to tell yeah these people gonna be living in a fucking hashtag in three fucking years

that's it that's their fucking life bro i see the amount of people that just text all fucking day yeah do i give shout outs no that's how high i fucking am that chocolate mushroom wasn't bad only yeah it's going pretty fine let's polish this motherfucker all pat shay quarry latin jody parish chris castrell david repreza jason segar's brandy lin john cutler and amy and dante motherfucking gazini sending me a cuban c d the other day to the comedy store give a shout out to jeff couch give a shout out to jeff motherfucking couch how's that one for you stop with the fucking all right what's going on i'm gonna do batting are the kettlebells are they gonna go flying tomorrow morning

they're no fun yeah yeah i'm i'm going i'm i think i'm gonna slip out your hand you want some more stars like no i think we're good for the night you need two more maybe three more to get the party started right come on go eat after this one off four it's sunday why the fuck walker we got these stars here we'll pick up a shipment this week again just polish off the bag between you what the fuck look at that there's nothing in this about 15 that's nothing we could eat 15 stars you were made like month people fucking look at the look on his face he looks terrified what we already have eaten 15 stars today let's eat some more okay it's a good fucking week it's a holiday i didn't even know when i come back

it is what holiday is it it's a cuban holiday oh we're gonna celebrate you're gonna look like this this is the week that i get to go to san diego for the juice to jump up and down i'm sorry what what day you doing that leah for the juice to jump up and down we're going down thursday night friday and then we'll come back saturday really is that so are you taking any drugs with you or anything like never are you gonna go down there like a fucking half a fucking army like you did last time with the wife no of course we'll take some stars but this is yeah this was did you ever show my little cuban princess over here how you dance at those things uh yeah yeah i think you made me do it before too i do enjoy your dancing yeah i see you've never

done the dance after the podcast we're gonna put that fucking music on and you're gonna do a little dance fire i'm sure why are you gonna do like like some wedding like jewish wedding stuff no no no no this is a band a techno band and one goes and jumps up and down you never knew that about me wait do you see this one i've made a many mysteries yeah thank god i give them fucking stars yeah i are i can't believe he used to go those things straight not even alcohol's up he would sit in the back look at look at me i went to sit there and mingle what the fuck are you gonna mingle who the fuck would want to mingle you you he also used to not speak to anybody so i remember i remember those days he goes to those concerts with shirts like that like he

shook nights assistant and then he's got a fucking water bottle who wants to talk to him you don't show up with a fucking cocktail with a straw and a little umbrella or something and we know he wasn't gonna he's a handsome motherfucker i'm a dork through and through no you're a dork yes i am i could just imagine you gotta go show up at those concerts with a big blunt like snoop dog and they're all looking like what the fuck's he thinking that's right motherfucker this is what i'm thinking motherfucker give me the paperwork will you so when is the tournament this week you're doing you now you're still a blue belt or purple belt now look at you you bad mother it'll be a year next week because i got my blue bow

and how many stripes i didn't give you already he didn't do stripes he don't do stripes it's just a surprise the one the one day he's gonna come out with that purple belt and he's gonna say my name and that's that's gonna be it you like going to see mass daddy yeah yeah you like it over that good good good that's the most important thing that you like where the fuck you're going so you're doing the two tournaments this week so yeah saturday you're doing which one subfighter in san anna subfighter in san anna and sunday is a world gracey world that's a good one rose grace you'll be done there fuck yeah and javi vasquez and javi vasquez everybody doing that thing now what weight do you have to go at i thought a bug landed on your home it was a

little love beauty mark you have that never saw um that's amazing you've been sitting here for now never saw that beauty mark before i never looked at your muscular shell business you know 130 on saturday i see you go 130 on saturday and then on sunday it's there's only two women's division it's 135 below and then 136 and up so let's see you can eat that night i i'm weighing in on friday night so i'm going directly to in and out as soon as i'm done so then but you want to stay on the 136 oh no 130 you'll never make it what no no no because the one sunday is 130 well that's no that one's 135 oh okay so i can i can go eat yeah perfect perfect now the one that you guys are doing bad part of math therapy what's that weight level those were doing mma weight classes so it's going

to be the 115 one for the women 115 125 130 35 the women's tournament correct no there's men and it's the same thing one i think that one starts at 125 is that on the beach too no that's in pasadena i hope not no fucking sand on my toes i got a maneuver with sand on my toes now i gotta go for the football with fucking sand on his toes never mind that fucking little strip of meat that's hanging from his calf god knows what the fuck that is and where's that that's gonna be at a crossfit gym in pasadena that has plenty of mat space beautiful beautiful so and what's up in your world are you just gonna sit there and nod back and forth like a swami from salami you're gonna talk you got a hand that you got a a fight in this fuck a dog in

this fight what's up with you no don't cut like i said uh in the last episode i launched a new website which is going great and that's it that's what's going on that's all i'm doing right now man and podcasts i'm trying to work out podcast i'm i'm doing the math therapy podcast with becky and donagan dollars whoo whoo whoo in the house it's your favorite one right i mean aside from this one absolutely and then that's it just that's what i'm doing well maybe that's all you don't like this i thought my fucking bells of course i thought my fucking life i was really a shooter gun so fucking i'm glad i can inspire you you do inspire me when you're out doing shit you're a young man you should be out mingling and shit you know what i'm saying

i'm not much of a mingler you know yeah i was anyway it's like the opposite of you let me talk to you people about something this friday i'm moving and uh i got a mattress and i showed my wife this helix sleep and she looked at it she came back and she goes you got to get this mattress because you're fucking different you like sleeping on one side you like hard or soft and my wife likes it medium so she looked at the fucking mattress we got the code for me like sleep we kind of deal with them and we're trying to match us out exactly like that you know why because you're unique you don't walk like everyone you don't talk like everyone you don't sleep like everyone so why is your mattress one size fits all you ever think about

that because a custom mattress will cost you five to ten thousand bucks that's why until now we're going to introduce helix sleep to you where you could buy a mattress online customized for four hundred dollars instead of thousands okay first off you go to helix sleep dot com you answer a few simple questions based on four key preferences and the result will be a custom sleep profile used to build you the most comfortable mattress you'll ever sleep on okay your mattress arrive at your door in about a week and shipping you ready for this one is 100 free because that's what usually kills you after the and for couples helix customizes each side of the mattress that's what i'm talking about helix customers report a 30 30 improvement in sleep quality you have

a hundred nights to try it out and if you don't love it they'll pick it up for free and give you a hundred percent refund no questions asked okay the other reason why everyone from gq magazine to forums are talking about this helix mattress from helix sleep so do me a favor cut the shit go to helix sleep dot com slash joey i'm gonna give you fifty dollars off your order again that's helix helix sleep dot com slash joey joey i'm gonna give you fifty dollars off your order again helix sleep dot com slash joey it's time that you started sleeping correctly okay i'm trying to get you sleep people don't know the importance of sleep you got a shitty mattress you wake up your backs fucked up your next fucked up you can't sleep right how you're gonna perform the next day

at work how's your girl gonna like you gonna be walking around angry fuck that shit go to helix sleep dot com slash joey right now and open up your world we're gonna give you fifty dollars off your first mattress who's better than us huh it's a fucking sunday night we're coming on to you so when you wake up tomorrow right now you're waking up you're going jesus christ that's fucking god joey and lee and becky fucking welcomed us and i got better news it's monday labor days two three weeks away whatever the fuck it is i'm not big on holidays i don't give a fuck every day we work here seven days a week who gives a shit i don't know the last time i woke up and said oh we have monday oh i don't give a fuck i work every day fuck it that's the only way you get ahead you

want to fucking live like the rest of the people and take the day off do that shit savages we work every day immigrants we work every fucking day we don't give a fuck monday tuesday thursday saturday wednesday we don't give a fuck what is it if it ends in day we're working yeah we'll work i don't give a fuck so everybody's gonna be party you know right everybody wants to have a good time everybody wants to rock and roll you know most of the parties you go to i mean some people are savages some of the people hang out with they got no class you can walk in there with a 12 pack they don't give a fuck but if you want to mingle with the upper class people you want to talk to nice people sometimes you got to show up with a bottle of wine yeah it's nice you show up one of

those fucking boxes of wine then people drink that shit and they get a headache they wake up with a headache now they curse in your fucking name so you try to be joey bananas and you you know i mean you're fucking stuck you don't know what to bring people you ever been in the aisle wine aisle at your local store and you're staring at a massive selection of wine and you got no idea what bottle to choose from me and everybody's done that most of us go with a bottle that has the best looking label and hope it's gonna be good well those days of playing russian roulette with your wine selection are over club w is a revolution revolutionary new wine club that takes the guesswork out of choosing your wine they have a simple six question palette quiz that you'll match you with delicious

high quality wine you're guaranteed to love so it's six questions that's it and next thing you know they're giving you selections and ideas and menus they open up a whole world for you and the best part of it is that club w will actually ship your wine straight to your door no more going to the store and being lost in the wine aisle like a fucking one of those people from the walking dead like those assholes again that ends right there all right so all i want you to do is this instead of doing this shit because remember time is money you know you can get hit by a car tomorrow and there you want a wine out what do i get fucking yelping like league you don't need that aggravation go to club w right now we're offering you twenty dollars off your first order

when you go to club w dot com slash joey right now and it gets even better i know you have pain for shipping bam club w actually pay for your shipping on orders of four bottles or more listen we cut out the middleman it's from the fucking grower direct to your door that's how club w works all right so take take take something off of your to-do list get four bottles let's say you take two to the barbecue you say one for halloween and you say one for thanksgiving who's fucking better than you so do me a favor go to club w dot com slash joey i'm gonna give you twenty dollars off your first order right now again that's club w dot com slash joey go get the wine you deserve four bottles bam there you go you got your fucking holidays covered nobody needs to bother

you no more and you know what you end up looking like a fucking savage because nobody else is getting this fantastic wine at this price but they don't know that they think you're paying more go to club w dot com slash joey right now like to thank my little beautiful fucking Cuban cousin here Becky Gonzalez whatever the fucking name is and my main man lisa after does not know what fucking plan leaves on for like you're going to rehab tomorrow it's over we're gonna get you to pick a different last name for me what every day who gives a fuck i don't want them to know your real name because you know they're bothering you on facebook trying to fucking fill you up and shit you know what i'm saying thank you for perfecting me well you gotta look out for our

how you doing my little brother i'm doing fine yeah you know why this happens to you because you have a training on the weekend i'm in training i did it the whole time last night fucking around that's why i'm doing fine there's why he's not he's not looking that bad there's some colors going around but i'm doing look at me falling asleep you weren't looking at him i'm looking i'm watching him like a hawk he's falling asleep i feel like i've seen worse yeah get it together coxuck i love you guys have a great week thank you for starting out the week with the church uh listen september 15th austin texas september 24th and 25th new york city got them comedy club you bad motherfuckers see you wednesday stay black don't tell nobody i don't fucking love you because

i love you coxuckers this show was brought to you by hillock sleep go to hillock sleep.com slash joey right now to get $50 off of your order that's right hillock sleep.com slash joey to get $50 off of your order and shipping is always free that's hillock sleep.com slash joey show is also brought to you by club w go to club w.com slash joey right now to get $20 off of your first order and when you get four bottles or more of their curated wine that's gonna save you money even before the deal you're gonna get your shipping paid for that's right on orders of four bottles or more club w will pay for your shipping so it's club w.com slash joey club w.com slash joey where's your musically oh dear drop the ball

did you say that it's hard to discover that you're just another jealous lover and it's all time to take what you're making of this dangerous lover oh dear don't want no other oh shades of red eyes of green seas black and white and there's no whipping cream ask me no questions i'll tell you no lies still you keep thinking that it's all alibi

and it's hard to discover you're like any other jealous lover and you're saying i'm a fake but you're making a mistake hey every day it's the same the face is in the name how long can i go on playing this game so i live for the late souls and the lights today love you and tomorrow they might and it's hard to face someone else take your place jealous lover and they say that's the place i got what it takes jealous lover

oh jealous lover oh jealous lover so we know don't know don't need no other jealous lover jealous lover you