Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #414 - Josh Adam Meyers

Episode Date: September 20, 2016

Josh Adam Meyers, comedian and the creator and host of the Goddamn Comedy Jam joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first three meals free and free shipping!   Texture. Go To texture.com/JOEY to get a free trial for the Texture App. The Texture App gives the use access to hundreds of magazines   Recorded live on 09/19/2016.
    

This show is brought to you by Texture. Go to Texture.com slash Joey and they're offering our listeners a free trial. You'll gain immediate entry to all the top magazines, including back issues and bonus video content. That's Texture.com slash Joey. The show is also brought to you by BlueApron.com. Go to BlueApron.com slash Joey and check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free with free shipping included. That's BlueApron.com slash Joey, BlueApron.com slash Joey. Oh shit.

Halloween is not creeping up on you. It's the church of what's happening now, bitches. Without the candle, I forgot it. What are you going to do? Strap on your motherfucking seatbelts. I could have been backstage at Black Sabbath, but I fucking went with you motherfuckers. You know why? Because I love you.

10 o'clock after I talked to you. A kid I haven't spoken to in two fucking years calls. And he goes, my girlfriend can't fucking go tonight. And you're the only other Sabbath fanatic. He got the VIP package, the whole fucking... You could have told me I would have come in. It's not about that. It's about commitment.

We got to give these people, they wake up one day, mornings, Tuesday. Here you go, cocksuckers. Kick that mule, Lee. Oh, shit. Are you fucking kidding me? The wind don't wait for no one. Cozy Paul on the drums. Listen to this shit. Kick that mule, Lee. Kick that mule.

There's a little YouTube video. Here we go. Oh, shit. Blood on the streets, cocksuckers. Oh, my God. Watch that foot. Churchill, what's happening now? With my main man, Lee Syat and Josh Atamai.

What's up, everybody? Master of fucking music. I love them to death. We want to talk about the goddamn comedy jam and all that fun stuff. We took, I want to, first of all, I want to give a shout out to the man of the church, Bobby Sharon. Donna Norston for almost killing Lee. He took him to Chewy's and Barbecue. Oh, Black's Barbecue.

The best. Chewy's was an experience. Like, I can't even, I feel like a lot of people who listen and watch to this, Joey, are like, they laugh, but they're like, why is Joey so, so like, why does he have all these rules about food? Ranch is okay. I like hummus, but after going to specifically Chewy's, I can understand a little bit of why you get so serious.

What about food? What rules do you have? I just don't understand why I eat this shit when the good shit's available to you. With like fast food and things like that? Or just a bunch of shit like that. We fucking complain. It's on TV, but it's like anything else in life. You know, they advertise cigarettes to kill you.

I smoke cigarettes for 10 fucking years. I smoke canals for you. We all did. It's no difference. But when it comes to food, I have this fucking burning desire. Like, after my mother died, I didn't eat that food no more. Just because I knew it would never be the same. Nobody's going to make it like mom's.

And I've tried it. One time I broke my rule and I almost wanted to shoot myself. What do you mean? Like comfort food or like meatloaf shit like that? Like Cuban food, Chinese food, fucking, you know, shit like that. Do you eat Chinese food? I do, but I haven't found a place out here in Los Angeles. Okay, number one, that's what I'm talking about.

Shit like that. That will keep going to a shitty Chinese restaurant. Then one day you're like, why am I eating this? This is not what I grew up with. Yes, a hundred. This is not the quality. I'm never eating it again until I go home. But when I was in San Francisco doing outside lands,

like we went to Chinatown and there's a spot there that I eat. And I fucking ate there and it was incredible. It was incredible. But out here, I don't have one yet. No, no. I haven't eaten for a while and then they'll go sour on it. I had that experience now with last night, not with Chinese food, but like one of my like fucked up meals is Shake Shack,

which is just like that New York like burger place. What's Shake Shack? It's like a burger place. It's like, it's like a in and out for like the East Coast, but they opened up one on like in like Boytown, like one like Crescent, not Crescent, it's with La Cienega and Cica Monica. And, and I went there last night.

I've been going there not routinely, but like once every couple of weeks I went there last night and it wasn't right. It didn't taste right. And now I'm done with it because it's about consistency. Again, it's all consistency. Nobody wants to be consistent. No. Just be consistent.

And they're corporate. So they don't have to, you know what I'm saying? Like when we were kids, we grew up at Mitch's Deli. Okay. Let me just say it in there. But, but I've been to Mitch's. I've been to Mitch's. I had my Mitch and there's Zeus's.

And you had your Mitch, Mike, these mics are too high, brother. These mics are too high. They're going to blow each other out here. Everybody has their Mitch's Deli. So now you go into that Deli, you become friends with Mitch. He knows what you want. He even goofs on you.

Oh, it's Mr. Monster with turkey on a fucking piece of broad bread. Extra gravy on his fries. All right. You know, you put me out of business with all the gravy you get. And actually, you know, I know I should charge you, but I don't. And they bust your balls. Yeah, of course.

And when something's fucked up, you can say, Mitch, what the fuck? Yeah. You didn't put your glasses on today, Mitch? Well, I'm sorry. I'll throw in a complimentary pickle. You know, and you're like, what the fuck, Mitch? I've been coming in 10 years. I don't give a fuck about your pickle.

You're slipping. Yeah. It's done. He'll only do that once in his life because maybe his daughter stayed out late. And by mistake, he'll put fucking mustard instead of mayonnaise. Sure. Sure. You know what I'm saying?

I go to that. I used to go a couple of weeks, a couple of weeks, like a year ago. I'm trying to lose weight. So sometimes I go by that fucking jersey, Mike's. All I want is turkey on wheat, with cheese, mayonnaise, and fucking lettuce and the tomato, salt and pepper. Do you know why I asked them? Like three times they fucked that sandwich up.

How do they fuck that up? You know why? I'll tell you why. Because the fucking dude stops you and he goes, what do you want? And you tell him and then he puts in the thing. So this jerk off over here is putting the shit on the thing. He's talking to you, but all of a sudden he goes, what do you want on yours? So nobody could do that.

He's getting like five orders at once. Nobody could do that. So you say somebody says jalapeno is the next thing you know. Unless you grow up in that, unless you grow up in that, you're not going to be that good. That jersey, Mike's shit. So after three or four times they fucked up my sandwich. I can't go back there. Not to mention it's fucking horrific.

Yeah. They're kids working at New York Atom Academy. It's horrific. He doesn't give a fuck about your sandwich. The food is fucking horrific. Well, nobody. Dude, most people that work in places don't give a fuck about. That's why my dad always said this and this is something I respect more than anything.

If you're going to go to a restaurant, make sure the owner's there. Make sure the owner's in the building. No chains. No fuck. I don't give a fuck if they've got two stores. Like he's like, go to the one that the owner, you know what I mean? Go to the original joint because they give a fuck. You know what I mean?

And when I grew up, we never went. There's like an outback steakhouse. It was like the most popular restaurant in Germantown, Maryland where I grew up. And we never went there. We always went to like Italian pines or we wanted a steak. We went to like Chris Fields or some shit like that. It was just, that was what my dad believed in. And every time I went there, it was a dope meal.

Food was right. And like you said, if they fucked it up, they were like, oh, you didn't enjoy it tonight, Mr. Myers. Let me hook you up. You know what I mean? I'll give you some tiramisu or something. You know what I mean? Yeah, complimentary pickle.

Yeah. It's the same shit that, you know, it's just, and I'm used to all those little things. I'm used to, you know, the food to be quiet. Like, and I catch myself a lot of times. I go to a place, eat and go, that wasn't bad. And I go there again as I'm eating. I go, this is fucking terrible. This is fucking terrible.

So with Lee, if there's a bad restaurant, Leo Pickett, he's just got that love. I love him with all my heart. He's a great kid. I heard about this place. Apple makers. It's gonna be good. His first, his first intention is just God awful. And you sit there and go, Lee, I can't believe this is what you're looking at.

Sadly, when the hotel, when I call him, I go, what's going on? And he goes, no, I just woke up. Now we actually sat the day before and we're breaking down Austin food. You know, their specialty is Franklin's. It's barbecue, blacks and all that stuff. And we spoke about chewys and poppacitos and all these little mom and pop taco places. He mentioned a few trucks. He's from Connecticut.

So he said, you know, the Chinese food just got awful. There's one, there's always that one spot that's a five, but when they fuck it up, it's a three so that you don't go back again. And he said all this stuff, you know, the Chinese food just got awful. The next morning I talked to Lee and it's like, Lee never heard the conversation. He goes, that's a Chinese place up the corner over here. I heard the conversation. They got Kung Pao or some shit, the Gumbau or whatever, Baobao. I'm like, Lee, I don't know what happened with the fucking Asians that we grew up with.

Never made it down here. Austin. Yeah. And it's just, I've never come to Austin if somebody said you gotta go to this Chinese restaurant. Never. 20 years ago in Austin. It's a lesson. I go, Lee, you're in the land, the fucking, you know, and you want to go to some dump.

We just discussed this. Yeah. But he would have gone. He was right across the street. I got sick and ate Billy Goat Meat and the whole fucking thing. He's picking like lobster rolls in Idaho. Yeah. It's just, you know, it's.

He's trying. Yeah. I mean. It was right across the street and I didn't want to go there. He believes Yelp. He listens to Yelp. Yelp's a cracker. So Yelp is all these fucking Gentiles that live around the corner, live in Studio City.

What the fuck do they know about food? They don't do anything. Nothing. They eat fucking pizza from that place where if you eat the salad, your wife will give birth to you in three days. Get the fuck out of here. Some fucking salad dressings and I'll make my wife snap. Fucking people.

But the queso at two is was like, I've never had anything like it. I've never had queso. Queso dip. Yeah. Queso dip. Dude, I did. I did. Dude, I date this girl and she's from like South Carolina, man.

And she's, we go to the supermarket. She's like, we should get some queso dip. I'm like, that's that's fucking white trash shit right now. No, no, no. It's all about salsa, baby. You know, I love you to do that. You know, South Carolina is fucking disgusting because they probably make it with crab slices. Yeah.

And gas hole clogs up, but listen to this case. I did was legit. Your world will change. Okay. Listen to these as a, as a Mexican, as a tax Mexican restaurant. Yeah. I'll tell you this sincerely. As sincerely as I can.

I used to go to Houston and I've showed people YouTube videos. I shot cold case after a two week stint in Houston. You'll look at me and go, Joey, what happened? And I go, it's the number one place for Pat, fat people. Houston, Texas. I know that. Number two is doubt. What do you think that is?

Cause the food is garbage. No. Because. Ceso dip. Cello cheese for breakfast. Did you walk into a restaurant in Houston and go, hi. I love a kale shake with oatmeal sprinkled with goat cheese. They will throw a beat on you.

You know that they probably served down like Barnaby's, the one gay restaurant. But Barnaby's also has a meatloaf. I was telling him that when you cut it has mozzarella cheese and little chunks of garlic. Yeah. You never seen none. You're making me hungry man. With a mountain patch of mashed potatoes with gravy on the side. Now listen, between you and me, I'm not a gravy dude cause there's animals out there.

There's animals out there. Sure. You know, when you travel, you realize that eight out of 10 brown gravies are fucking horrific. Horrific. This place is gravy. And this is in Houston? Houston. I'll be in Houston in November.

I'm with you. Oh yeah, you're doing it. November 18th. Oh, and you're fucking, you're doing the show dude. You're doing a god damn show. Oh, 100% yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all down there.

Red Band, Tony Hinchcliffe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get Red Band to do it. Tony did, he just did the show and he made, he did great. He did George Michael's careless whisper in Tony's voice. It didn't change. It didn't get melodic. It was just, I'm never gonna dance again this year.

Nah, that's a good, you know, it's a good song for the god damn County. What's that? Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. George Michael. Dude, but I know him. Dude, Justin Marndale did that. What's what?

It's called Freedom Night. Freedom Night. Well here's what's funny. I wasn't, he what, this is like, we'd already done like three or four shows at that point And like he had, I've been friends with him for a while and he's like, he's like, Josh, I want to do the show. And I'm like, I'll get you, man, don't worry. And then he's just bugging me and bugging me.

He goes, dude, I know what song I want to do. I go, well, just tell me anyway. I mean, I don't really have spots coming up. And he said, George Michael Freedom. And I go, you're doing it next month. It's like one of my favorite songs. And that was the first show that people stood up and danced. That was, he was the first guy to go up

and nobody, it's because the first like four shows, like everybody just sat there and they were enjoying it, but they just didn't get into it. And halfway through the song, he stopped and then he's like, I told him, I was like, dude, if you're going to do the show and you can do this song, I need you to go a million percent gay, dude. I need you to be full-fledged homosexual

when you're doing this song. And dude, halfway through, he stopped and he goes, get up you fucking bitches. And everybody stood up. And from that point on, as soon as the music hits, everybody stands. Now, how did the goddamn comedy jam get created? So we used to do a theater show at this place.

Did you ever do the unknown theater on Santa Monica and in Seward? Sarah Tiana and this girl, Laura Valdivia ran this room. It was in this old theater, like kind of in the theater district, but in a cut, like it was like hidden from everybody. And it turned, it was more of a speakeasy than a theater. Like it was a theater, the guy put on plays,

but like every play probably lost money because like the dude was like great at building sets. And so one month you'd be performing there and you'd be performing in like on stage, it'd be like a gay bath house. And then like two months later, you're performing at like a gay resort. It was always a gay related.

Like one year we were like performing inside a gay man's asshole. It was just everything was gay related for all of his plays. But he was a super straight dude, just put on gay plays. So we do the shows there and every night the show would end and they had a bunch of musical instruments. So we'd all pull them up and we'd just start dicking around. It'd be like me, Brett Ernst, then Chris Porter,

Sarah Tiana, then Burr started showing up and everybody would drink until like two, three, four in the morning. And it just kind of got started there. And then when the girls left, this dude I worked on this, we took the show over and me and this other dude were like, yo, let's bring a band into it to be like the house band. So they're the light.

So when you started, you were like performing, they'd bring you up and then they'd walk off stage, you do your set and then we didn't want to light you. Like the band would come back on stage and then you'd wrap up your set. And sometimes comics would start fucking around with the band. They'd be like, what songs do you know? And then somebody would they start playing it

and then they sing it. So that's how the idea got kind of like started. That theater then shut down and I became cool with the band that was our house band and I just kept in touch with them. We started getting booked at different spots. And then we moved to a place in Studio City. We did two shows. It was cool, but it really didn't pick up.

You know what I mean? It was just in a weird venue called Marika's. The chick that ran it was a fucking crazy bitch. Like she was completely insane. Didn't really, we packed the house out. She was just ripping us off. So then we stopped. At that show, Adam Devine went up and he did,

he did a song instead of doing a set. He was like, what songs do you know? And the band's like, I forget what song it was. It was like sugar, sugar or some shit like that. And he played it and the audience went bananas. And at that point, that's 2010. That's when I was like, that's the show right there. That's the show.

Now, I was at 2010, I've been doing comedy two years. I'm a good enough comic. You know what I mean? I can definitely, I know how to make people laugh. I was doing well. I wasn't passing any real clubs yet, but I was like doing shows, but I wasn't ready to do that show the way I wanted to do it.

So I sat on it and I got better at standup. And then, you know, went through some certain shit. That kind of changed everything in 2012. And then started getting more and more opportunities out here. Like I got Montreal and like was on every showcase and I was touring a little bit and I was making money, but I wasn't getting what I wanted out of this town.

I was like, you know, we were talking before you turn the mics on, like this town is, it's a funky ass town, man. You know what I mean? Like you could be the most talented person in the world, but you ain't getting shit and other people are just surpassing you. And it was really JFL that did it.

New faces just fuck with me because that was supposed to be the turning point in my career. That was supposed to give me everything. It didn't. And so I was going to move to New York and then right before like a year, year around that point after I did new faces,

I was like, you know what? Before I moved to New York, let me try this show out. And it was really just going to be you do a set and then you do a song. There was going to be no story. And I was talking to this like much bigger comic trying to pitch him the idea. And he was like, I don't see it working.

So he's ain't going to work. And I'm like, why not? He goes, ah, there's a comic doing a song. I don't see how that'll just be weird. And then I was with another comic. He goes, you said, maybe you should just tell him a story. And I was like, yeah, there it is, dude. That's the fucking bow.

And then we did the first show. And luckily I got birded to do the first one. He was super excited about it. And then it's just been a hit ever since. He put the wig on. He did do that first show. I've never seen anybody get more excited. And he played the drums.

He was always the only guy that he doesn't sing. He sings in the final group song. But he used to play drums with us. And that was like, I ran him to at the comedy store. Like I had the idea. Somebody came up to me says, hey, I want to do a show with you. And I'm like, listen, man. I was like, I don't want to do a regular show.

I got this idea. And when I pitched the idea to this dude, he was like, oh, that's it, man. 100% we got to fucking do that. And I'm like, hey, it's it. I don't know, man. Is it going to work? Are people going to be into it?

It's hard to do a show out of your NLA. And then a week later, I ran into Burr. And I was like, I started talking about music. And he goes, dude, we should start jamming again. And I'm like, well, I got this show idea. And immediately he was just like, I'm in. He goes, I shoot my special at the end of June. He goes, set it up for July.

And then I was like, fuck it. Now I got to do the show. Now I got a big name. I just got to find a venue. And I had the band already. They were on hold just doing their own shit. And then I literally stumbled in the lyric, which is the old venue we used to do it at.

And it just, it was just like everything about that show has been perfect. It has just, we haven't changed it. The first show is exactly like the show I do now. Two years later, it's the same format, same band. Just I've added a couple of players to it, but it's just runs like clockwork, man. It's great.

So much fun. 2010, 2009, I was living in Hollywood. Confused like everybody else. The next level, do I get a day job? Thousand fucking dilemmas. One of the things I was thinking about, Josh Adam, my as was, that when is America gonna get sick and tired

of watching three comics? I'm a comic and I'm telling you this from my perspective. When is America gonna get sick and tired of going to a show and watching three comics? I go, something has to happen. And a bunch of things. Not that I've created them in my mind. I just always said, wow, it would be interesting

to see something else. And I saw Rag Battle. There was a couple of shows I saw that were different. You know, Ari did the story telling stuff. Yeah. And I saw the pictures when you were burring, I giggled. I go, this might fucking work.

I said it when I saw Burr. Yeah. I go, this might work because I get what he's doing. You know, we're all, 50% of comics are just not failed musicians. But maybe aspiring musicians. Then we figured out that if we get a guitar,

we'll end up pointing it 10 times so we can never be consistent with it. I guess so. That was my thing. I would have got a guitar, but I know I was snorting blow. I would have pointed eight times. I would have showed up with a ukulele

and got fired, you know, shit like that. But what a, I'm really happy that this worked. Like I'm fucking stuck. Thank you very much. Then you called me. It was Superbowl Sunday. We couldn't get our dates together cause the. Was it?

I've been trying to get you on for a while. And this, I think it was, we had you on another date and then the date got moved or something happened. No, Superbowl. They didn't want to rehearse on Superbowl Sunday. So Monday we figured, let's just, it was February 4th or something like that.

Okay. And then you asked me if I could do the 28th. I was on the town of the 28th and then I bumped in. Then the show sold and I could tell you overwhelmed. You were very overwhelmed. I had read that it sold. And when I read that it sold, I was so happy. I was happy for you, but I was happy for comedy

because you know, this is what we need. We need something different. We need, this is what makes you stronger as a comic is going to different avenues. Sure. The central focus is still comedy. It's not like I'm going from football to fucking baseball. Well, no, it's, it's, you're, you're still going.

And like people ask me, it's like, you know, so it's like a music show. I go, no, it's a, it's a comedy show. First and foremost. I fucked up cause I didn't know it was a story. Somebody told me when I got up stage, what was the story towards that song? Ah, well you were just, you were just like,

all right, let's do this. Sock suckers. Yeah. Yeah. No, but it's, it's like, and that was my back cause I should have explained it more, but I remember that you had mentioned that was what you wanted to do.

And I always want the comics within their wheelhouse of what they feel comfortable doing. And that song was perfect for you. You made it your own. Yeah. So it's that, it's, you're supposed to do eight minutes to stand up, tell the story, just relate to the audience why you chose it.

And I figured, I didn't you, I wasn't watching you say cause I was I was doing fucking stupid jokes up there on a Monday, but I gotta tell you something. I had cold feet that afternoon. You know, even though I had, I couldn't rehearse the song in the shower, even though I'd written the lyrics and all that stuff.

I'm like, I'm gonna fucking eat dick up there tonight. But the funniest thing was, I get a little bit of anxiety at the store. When I woke up to steps to the OR, I always get a little touch of anxiety. Sometimes I have to actually sit down and do breathing exercise. I see the light go on and it gives me more anxiety.

When the song started, I don't know if you noticed, I was looking at the drummer for a reason. Cause it was coming on big time. I thought I was gonna pass out on stage a few times. When I turned around and saw all those people, it was real. It reminded me of when Marky Warburg got hit in the head in that movie he made, there's a singer.

Oh, Rockstar. Rockstar, the first, remember the first fucking song he did? He got hit in the fucking head and he fell down. Stand up and shout out. And he looked at the audience and they were blurry. That's what I was saying. When I turned the first time and saw,

if you would have been next to me, I would have gone down like a fucking ton of bricks. You killed it. You killed it. I would have gone down. But I was very anxious up there. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't catch my fucking breath.

The song's got eight lyrics. No, I know. It's got four different fucking- You don't even have to sing it. It's literally, just say it. Just say it. It was perfect. You chose the perfect song.

The perfect song, yeah. No, it was perfect. You made it your own, especially when you were like, you know, you're like, now they do what you do. What is it? Now I do it. What is it?

I can't think of the lyrics. No, you do what they tell you. Yeah. Now they do what you tell you. You made it so. Look, you just, he was so Joey doing it. Just like, man, you were just so fucking good, man. It was top five.

Like, you caused a riot, dude. You caused a fucking riot. I had so much fucking anxiety that night. Like, you have no idea where my anxiety was in the middle of that song. If you wouldn't, I kept looking at you and then looking back at the drummer. Like, I was making believe like I was having

a good time with the drummer. No, cause every time I looked at that audience, my head would spin out to 360. I'm sorry. Not to your fault at all. Not your fault at all. I don't know what it, but you know what? Even at the 25 year mark,

it's great to still have that fear before you go on stage, my brother. That's, you know, when you lose that fear, just go home and pack it up. Don't do something else. That's what, that's what Burr, we open for. So November last year, we did Gramercy Theater in New York. We did the jam there.

Burr was on that. And then the next day, before he did Madison Square Garden, we went and he ran it a bunch of instruments, the drum set and all the shit. We played at Madison Square Garden for like three hours. And then we did, and then we all hung out and watched his set. And afterwards he had this huge party and I was saying goodbye after chilling for a while.

And he goes, and I said, dude, thank you so much, dude. Like everything you've done has been there. It was actually on my birthday too. I was like, it's been the best birthday of my life, man. Hands down, this is one for the ages. And he's like, he goes, now, man, thank you. And I'm like, why?

And he goes, because of your show the night before, in front of 700 people, I wasn't nervous to perform in front of 14,000. Do you know what I mean? And that's the cool thing is like, that you've been doing this for so long and people like Burr and, you know, and just everybody that's done the show,

like you will get nervous doing this. Cause like while you're performing, there's that ticking clock in your head. You're like, oh shit, dude, I gotta, I gotta sink down. Under by men at work. God damn. Yeah, but it's, but the thing is, like it's not something to be nervous about

because the crowd is so supportive. They're not, they don't want to see you fail. Like, dude, and like we've had people, like we call it, like, you know, when you, when you Jay Larsen the song, which is, you know, Jay, Jay fucking the first time he did the show, he did the show. The first show was Matt Bronger, Jay Larsen, Ryan Sickler, and then Burr.

And Jay went up second. And I remember Bronger goes up first and I'm like, I don't think this is going to work. Man, like the crowd seemed like they're into it, but they're not standing. It just seemed really weird. And then Jay went up and he did message and a bottle by the police, right?

And he, dude, everything about that song, like he fucked it up. Like he was singing the verse during the chorus and the chorus during the verse. He was all over the place. And the crowd just started singing with him to get him back in the right place. But the whole time he's up there,

just bombing and dancing and going crazy and committing to it. And that was when I knew the show was going to work because the crowd went fucking bananas. So they, nobody's eating shit on it. Not one person. No, no, no. Not one person.

Since we've done, they care about you guys and they love you. They're your fans. They come out here to see you do this. And so they get excited when they know you're going to be on it because they want to see what you're going to do. And they know you're not going to be

Whitney Houston on the goddamn motherfucking thing. They know that it's going to be your version of it. And that's why it's cool. How did the show get to air A to Z? To get on television? Yeah, from A to Z. How long was the process? Two years.

It's been two years from the first show that we got. Well, I sold it. I sold it twice. So I do the show. We do the first show. Ryan Sickler does that show. Ryan's one of my best friends. He calls me like a week or so later.

He's like, dude, I had so much fun. Thank you for having me on it. I got this guy wants you to meet the Duffy's, right? They have a production company and I told him about your show and they want to sit down and talk to you about turning into a TV show. And like after the first one, everybody was like,

oh, there's going to be a TV show. There's going to be a TV show. That's not why I started. I started because it's fun. So we do, I go and take the meeting with the Duffy's and they're like all about it. And so they're like, we're going to come out and shoot it. And then we're going to do like a sizzle reel for it.

So they did that. We signed an agreement like, so that was July, 2014. We signed an agreement in December, 2014. We sold it on our first pitch to CW, which was like, for me, I was like, this, I was like, we walked in and they're like, this is our throwaway pitch. This is there. We do not expect them to buy it.

It's literally practice for us. We went in there, the Duffy's talk and then that was it. I added a few like, yeah, and then they can do this and then they can do this. But I was like totally nervous. It's the first time I've ever pitched a show with a big network, regardless of it's a throwaway. And then a week later, they're like, yeah,

we want to do a pilot with you. And they then held the show hostage for, that was- CW held it? CW held a hostage for probably like five months where they were like, we signed the deal with them and then we were getting ready to shoot it. And it literally went from one dude who bought it, then we had to take it and then pitch it again

to his boss, he loved it. And then we had to go to the head of the network to Mark Petowitz and Petowitz didn't like it. He was like, I don't really see it working and that was it. So we got it back before Montreal, 2015. And everybody there, dude, it was just the hit of the festival. It was like literally, there was our show in roast battle

and that was it. Everything else was like secondary and we had Burr on it and every show was sold out and we just me and the band just fucking brought it. We knew it. We knew how big of an opportunity this was. We're like, we're performing for every buyer, like every television network and every show we treated

like it was the biggest show in our lives. Like as we do, even the ones out here, I mean, we really just commit to everything. So we did the show, we got back in the Comedy Central wanted a meeting in like September and we sit in the meeting and it's like Gary and Jonas and all the dudes and fucking the Duffy's talk for like two minutes.

And then I was like, I got this. I just felt so comfortable in the room because I was like, this is the network I want to be at. We were already getting offers for other networks, but that was the one I wanted. Them are HBO, but really Comedy Central because that's where comedy live. The HBO show interest.

And HBO never really was into it, but also it was just, I think they weren't trying to do standup related stuff. So but Comedy Central has always been my number one. Like that was the one, it's the only comedy network. And I want to fucking be in that family. I want to be able to hang out with the South Park guys and fucking go to the park, you know what I mean?

That's what I want. And we went in that room, they talked, the Duffy's talk for a few minutes and then I was like, I got this. And then I just sold that show in the room. They bought it like literally two days later. They were like, we want to do a special, an arable special. So like an hour, which will be a backdoor into a series.

That was November when we found out, you know, and then you fucking, it's then it's like all that time of pre-production. I mean, so we, they bought it with the deal was signed at the beginning of January and we didn't fucking actually shoot it until June 21st. It takes time, man. I wanted that money, dude.

It takes fucking time. I was like, I got to buy a new mattress, dude. Like tell me what kind I can get. Like, is this going to happen? Is it isn't? And it just, what's been good is that the network is behind it. They made some changes to it that I understand they're doing for, they did for the special.

Like it's not exactly what we do with the live show. It's not as wild. My part got severely reduced for that. But when it goes to series, like there's a lot more that we're going to do and then we're going to bring it back to what the show actually is. Do you know what I mean? Right, right.

The special was released a couple of weeks ago. It was released August 28th. It was the day before you did the show. And how'd it go? It went great. I mean, it was, it was on after the VMAs and the VMAs were in long. So a lot of the numbers kind of got messed up.

But for 12 a.m. at night, we got good numbers. And like social media wise, it was incredible. And what's the other shit? Social media, like, it just got a shitload of views. Digital shit got a lot of views. So it's done really well. But now we're just waiting. We're waiting to find out if we get a series.

But I mean, every arrow is pointing to yes. I don't see why they wouldn't give it a season. You know what I mean? Because I'm getting, no, we'll get like 10. Wow. Yeah. Well, the deal is for a six, but I could see it go, I could see them buying. It's cheaper to make more.

You know what I mean? And then just six. If you're gonna do six, you might as well make 10. It's only gonna be like a couple, like $100,000 more. If you're gonna do six, you might as well make nine. So I could do three at night. Oh, there's no way I could shoot that. Dude, in no way that we might even do two in one night.

That'll fucking kill me. I'm gonna be on prednisone and fucking it. Yeah, they'll be double two. Every anti-inflammatory. They'll give you one week on that. Like something fucking, like, I just did a friend of mine show. And he was like, we shot nine episodes in one week.

He was like, Ari? No, this is for Animal Planet. Oh, okay. Nine fucking episodes a month. We guess everything. Animals, like, like start on fucking Monday and wrap on Sunday with a party. That would kill me.

Just even doing the one, like the one, like I, cause I had vocal cord surgery, February. I had a nodule take it off my vocal cords cause my cords were just fucked up, man. 36, you get to an age, your shit just starts giving out and then I vape like a dumb fuck. You know what I mean? Not anymore, but I did.

Cigarettes? I did for years. I used to smoke weed, smoked cigarettes and then I quit that. I started vaping and the vaping fucked my vocal cords up. You can hear it in my throat. Every time I vape, I could, I think it's worse than both of them.

For people that talk all the time, yes. If you use your voice, that's the worst shit you can do. And I mean, I vape for four years and then the second I quit, they got better. Like they were inflamed and go to the doctor, he'd scope my throat, stick the thing down, look at it and he'd be like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? And I'm just like, nothing, I'm just vaping.

He's like, you gotta stop doing this shit. I'm like, dude, I can't, man. I love the taste of Fruit Loops cereal milk in my lungs, man. Like what the fuck do you want from it? Oh, that's terrible. I'll kill you. You know what I mean?

It's like, that was, so I vape for a long time and then I quit and so we got to do this special. I had, I was still vaping, but I just took like, you know, prednisone is like a miracle drug for singers, man. Like prednisone, decadron. So I went that morning, I got it shot from the ENT, took a couple of prednisone and then fuck. Where they put the shot for you?

In the ass, they give it, ass or shoulder. For your vocal chords? My vocal chords. Well, it's a steroid. So it like, it's like this, right? Like, see what really happened was, so I did, when we did JFL in 2015, right? Like I was DJing at a strip club.

So every Thursday, every Friday, I'm on the mic, fucking, you know, eight hour shifts. We started getting closer and closer to, to the shows in Montreal and I know how big a deal this is. So what I started doing was taking like care of myself where I wouldn't go out at night, like I would do show and I'd go home and then I was like, you know, I got to start resting my voice or I got to start taking

like, like, you know, supplements, like little mints, not mints, but these like little drops for your throat. And I went to the doctor and then next, I don't know where I just lost my voice. I lost my voice like a week before we took off and it would not come back. I went and got shots for it, it would not come back. So I go to the doctor, he goes, listen, you know,

he's like, you got a nodule on your vocal cords, but that's not the reason it's super inflamed right now. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a bunch of these medications, give you prednisone and I'm going to give you a couple of shots before you leave. And he goes, and that'll be, so basically, we're just going to put a bandaid on your cords and we'll deal with the problem when you come back.

So it's like, it's like Emmett Smith, like, you know, fracturing his shoulder, like blowing his knee out and like in the playoffs and they're like, dude, you know, you got to win this game. So here's a cordisone shot, here's some percosec, go out there and win the game. And that's what I did. But by doing that, I made my cords way worse.

So it was like, when I came back to the States, it was like a full, that was July. My cords didn't get better until, until March, April. Actually, April is when I started singing again and it sounded good, April of 2016. So that was tough, man. Who shot the pilot? What stars shot the pilot?

Well, who was on it? Yeah. That's what I'll picture you with Eddie Vedder. So I thought Eddie Vedder was on it. Oh, no, no, no, that was in Bonnaroo. That was the music festival, Bonnaroo. We had Pete Davidson from Saturday Night Live, Jay Farrell from Saturday Night Live,

Jim Jeffries, Natasha Legerro, and Adam Devine. Oh, I thought you had like a fucking ledge up on the studio. Well, here's what's cool. That's what I thought. Dude, I'm telling you, like I, so the special airs and I'm getting calls from like huge comics, right?

From not just comics, but comedic actors, like people that want to do this are like, dude, I want to do this song with this singer. Like, and like, I'm friends with this guy, we can make this happen. We got people that want to do shit with Metallica. Like it could, what's cool, it's like, this is the thing.

It's like, why wouldn't you give me a season of it? Because like there's so much cool shit that we do we had Coolio on the first fucking thing. I mean, we can do way better than Coolio. You know what I mean? Like we can get fucking, you know, we'll reunite fucking the band heart and get fucking Wilson Phillip.

Like it's just gonna grow and grow. And that's what's happening in LA. Organically, we're getting real rock stars that want to do it. Now that we moved to the Roxy, like that immediately validates it where everybody's like, well, this is the place. If they're doing at the rock scene, it's gotta be legit.

You know what I mean? Like the month before we had, we had some guys from Velvet Revolver there. We had John Theodore from Queens of the Stone Age. We had Dave Kushner. Then we had John Mayer's just chilling. John Mayer, who just came to the show just to hang out. But when he's seeing you perform,

and now he wants to do it, like organically it's just gonna grow and turn into something really fucking cool. Music, now one big question I gotta ask. Sure. For TV purposes, are there just a number of songs you could do? No, we can get whatever you want. That's the cool thing, man.

Yeah, dude, it's like they spend a lot of money on that special. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not even the like we ended it with we are the champions and that's like cheap. Like certain songs that you would think would be expensive or actually cheap. I mean, there's like, there's like from what I know,

like Led Zeppelin's kind of off the table. Beatles are off the table and Michael Jackson. But if somebody big enough wanted to do it, they'd pay. You know what I mean? You know, if fucking if we can get, you know, cause that's the thing is like, I think if when it goes to series, like we're gonna get some really, really big names.

You know what I mean? And I'm glad it's on Comedy Central and not CW because CW would have fucked it up. Yeah, they would have put Buffy the Vampire. Yeah, it would have been like, all right y'all, coming up next, Condoleezza Rice singing no diggity. Like, you know, the fuck, what's that shit? You know, it's, it's, we can get real comics.

I mean, we'll get Burr, we'll get Sarah Silverman. I mean, we had Louis CK come and sit down and do the show. I'm trying to get your boy Joe, Joe Scared, should listen, you need to tell that motherfucker to do it. I'm, I want him to do it. He'd be the best at it. Do another goddamn Rage Against the Machine song. It's just scream it.

You know what I mean? That's all you did. You fucking, but you did, you did sing a little bit. You had a little melody. I couldn't think, listen, I couldn't think of another song. There was one of the songs you and I discussed. No, it was always from the jump, from the jump.

Cause I said, I want you to do the show. You go, you go killing in the name of, like immediately you said that. And I was like, yeah, that's it. That was why when I got you to finally commit to doing this one, I immediately just said, you want to still do killing in the name of? And you're like, yeah, that was it.

I didn't really, usually like I'll call people and I'll be like, what are you thinking about? Like, like I know what will work. People will give me a song that I'm like, why would you pick this? You know, and even like the huge comics they'll give me a song that's so random. And I'm like, dude, nobody's going to know this.

Like no, it's got to be a hit, can't be a B side, can't be a deep album cut. And most people are super cool now that they realize that I know what will work. You know what I mean? I knew immediately, you would have been the first person to do killing in the name of because we waited so long at John Doar do it, cause he had picked it.

And I mean, but nobody did it the way you did it. I mean, you know what the next song I like to do? Girls just want to have fun. That's my jam. Every time I hear the end of that, I can tell she's having such a great time. I don't know what the fuck she's saying at the end of that song.

But I still remember coming from Colorado and New York and the girl I had a crush on liked that song. And it was like killing me. Like really girls just want to have fun. What the fuck are you talking about? Then I saw the video, but I liked the song. Like every time I hear that song, I think of that summer. It's such a good song.

It's such a good song. First of all, unless you've seen it, she's really good in concert. Cindy Lauper? Yeah. I've heard it 30,000. And they say she's fucking hysterical. They all got chaps, man.

I saw Billy Joel not too long ago and that mother fucker had like a half hour of solid material, like solid. And then I saw him like two nights later, he did the same bits and they killed, dude. So rock stars, they all got jokes, man. They all got jokes. All in between the jams.

Everybody, I was reading a thing on Enrolling Stone magazine as Adele, you know, the big like soul singer from Britain right now. So she does an hour and a half show, right? She sings for 40 minutes and then talks for 30. You know what I mean? That's her show. They broke it down to see like who talks the most

and get in between. She's got 30 minutes of material too. They all, it's literally all they do. Are they trying to make you laugh or is it like stories about the songs or? A little bit of both. I think also it's like they want it to be funny. You know what I mean?

Like, dude, comedians and rock stars, it's just there's a weird thing about it. Like if you've ever hung out with like a rock star, right? Somebody that made it, maybe it would be a rock star, but just somebody that's professional musician. Whatever year or however old they were when they made it is what maturity level they're stuck at.

Does that make sense? You know, Tommy Lee, the guys from like, they're stuck at that age. They're stuck at like 17, 18 years old. They might have millions of dollars, but they're still fucking. I think Tommy Lee, every time I've seen him, it's like he's 18.

Yeah, he's like super immature. He's like, yeah, bro, you're not cool. It's like, dude, you're fucking 53 now, dude. You know what I mean? It's just, there's something about it. And I met a lot of rock stars recently where I started hanging out with them. I'm like, dude, you're fucking immature.

I mean, they're mature, but they're still, they just have that like, I don't know how to explain it. Just their whole era about them is that they're still kids because they never had to grow up. You know what I mean? I'd be that way too. I did music my whole life.

If I would have made it one of my bands, I'd be stuck at like 23. And I just lived that 23 year old lifestyle in my head, but she'll just pay my bills and do the shit that adults do, but still talk like a 23 year old. Just, you know what I mean? Dress like it, do Tommy Lee still dress like a motherfucker

that's 18 years old. He's just on 2016's level of 18 now. So the clothes are a little bit, you know, updated. It's not wearing. You can't really wear spandex, you know? You can't make cheetahs spandex anymore and still fucking be cool. You know, like when Kenison was at the store,

they were doing that kind of stuff. They sang Wild Thing with Rudy Sarzo and a bunch of other people. And it's so weird, that connection wasn't as much as, that connection was more cocaine. Oh yeah. If you watch those fucking videos with Poison and Kenison, and they'll tell you how fucked up they were

and stuff like that. But I've always, you know, I've met a, I don't even know, but it's so weird how they'll talk to you. I was on a plane with fucking Sebastian and John Legend. I was, we were all going to Atlanta. Sebastian Bach or Sebastian Lagomir? No, Sebastian Minescalco was sitting next to me and John Legend was sitting next to me on this side.

So it was John Legend, me, and then there was Isle and then there was Sebastian. I'm sitting there, John Legend tips his head on, he goes, hey, I saw you special, I really like it. And he is, it's a bad, this guy talking to Sebastian, John Legend about a special, and how he watched it. He watched it three times and blah, blah, blah. And it's so weird how I think sometimes

it's a mutual admiration. Oh, for sure, man. It's a definite mutual admiration because they know how hard it is to get up on this. So we know how hard it is to do it there? We know what that is. Dude, stand up comics or rock stars, man. That is to be, to be like, to shred like slash

is one of the most, you know, difficult things you can do. You can learn how to play guitar, but to be able to have the feel and really just lay it out there in the music that you're playing, I mean, that's incredible. And what we're doing is honestly just as hard, if not harder to go into a room full of strangers, come up with something to say, and that's original,

and fucking make people laugh, you know? So it just blends seamlessly together. And that's why this show works. I think it's because you're taking something and you're just taking both those worlds and putting them together. And then also the main thing is both things we're doing are super fun.

Other people want to do it. Everybody wants to do what we're doing. Everybody always thinks they can be a standup comic or they could have, I gotta be in a band, you know what I mean? Or I'm still in a band. So yeah, it's just me and the other dads in the neighborhood, but we're killing it in a garage, you know what I mean? So that night, I realized why lip syncing

is fucking so relevant in comedy. What do you mean? I felt it that night. You know, if you know about like all those singers that move a lot, like Janet Jackson at the beginning of her tour, she lip syncs 10%. Oh yeah, yeah, okay. She lip syncs 90%.

Why? Cardio and anxiety and all that shit. I've never seen anybody sweat as much as you did during that song. Oh my God. Dude, you were drenched. I was on anxiety attacking. It just came, I was like a skunk.

A little bit of sweat came out from every fucking orifice. And as soon as I went up there, I felt it. I knew it was gonna happen, but I gotta tell you something. And I'll tell you through your face, I think I told you the day after. I haven't had that much fun on stage. Thank you. In the long fucking time.

You fucking killed, dude, you killed a show I haven't had. That much fun in a long goddamn time. I thought I left there and my mind was kind of blown. Like I had to go home and take two hits off the pipe and go, what just fucking happened, Jack? What just fucking happened? That was too much. And it was so well documented too.

Dude, so many people recorded that. So you get to just relive it over and over. Well, I watched it like 17 times. No, I watched like half of it and shut it off. I don't even get to the fuck you, I won't do it. Yeah, the best parts at the end. The best part, he gets at least like six inches off the ground when he jumps and you fucking like.

My favorite part is the middle finger at the end, it gets like that. And here's my question. Because I always hear a lot from comics. If you hear about a comic who maybe has a whole set of like jokey songs, it gets a little bit looked down upon. But everyone loves this show. Like where do you think the difference is?

Because it's a little similar, but like everyone loved this show, it was the first time I'd been to it. And it was a great experience. Like, I'll go next time as a fan. Please, you're always invited. I'll go next time as a fan because I want to see now. Dude, you're in the goddamn comedy jam Rock and Roll Hall. I want to see what.

Yeah, I know what you're saying, Lee, about the, you know, because like when you go see like comedy music or musicians that are comics that do music in that sense, like the songs are usually cheesy as fuck, you know what I mean? It's usually like if a girl's doing it, it's always like, you know, this is talking about my boyfriend or giving blow jobs. And it's like, don't forget about the balls. Don't forget about the balls when you're giving a hand job.

Actually, which is actually pretty melodic when I write that down. That shit drives me crazy. Yeah. Like you want to be fucking what's his name? Sign up. What's the guy that spooks all the song? We don't Yankovic. Can you believe people still buy his music? He's just, well, I think a lot of people still fuck with him because of the movie UHF. You know what I mean?

You've ever seen UHF? Long time ago. The movie's great. I still quote it, you know what I mean? So I don't think he's getting new fans. I think he's just got the people from a long time ago. I think he's getting new fans. I don't think so, man. I might be wrong.

Yeah. What was the last time he released them out? Well, he just came out with one. He just came out. But that's, but that's, I think it's the people for the fucking 10 fans that are left. Actually, when I was in Montreal in 2015, he did a free concert outside and it was fucking bananas packed, just packed. So so so music musicians are not musicians.

Comics that do music is like there's not many that have like there's tenacious D that are taken seriously that are cool because their whole act is this like their songs aren't funny. They're actually really good songs. You know what I mean? Like me and the band, like we have a bunch of originals, too, that are super funny, but they're like they're real rock songs and they're super catchy.

We don't try to make people laugh throughout the song through the lyrics. We just just from what we do in it. It's just we take that we take it so seriously, but it's like completely a farce. Whereas I think the show is successful is because of what Joey just said. He hasn't had that much fun and God knows how long because if you're having fun, then the audience is having fun. Do you know what I mean?

What we created is just it's an event. It's like it's just like a feeling. You know what I mean? You come to the show. Every show is like that. I mean, it's just if we don't take it too seriously, it's literally just supposed to be a bunch of people are going to laugh for a little bit. You're going to rock out for a little bit.

And it was all ages. Oh, it's every dude. That was all the people there that was younger people there. I thought it was going to be a bunch of uber people, you know, like young kid, 23 year old boy was out in shock. Did it's huge. And that was like because we were going up against there was another festival going on.

And that was the first one we hadn't completely sold out. Like it was like it was close to it. But like usually we have like somebody said, one of the one of the bookers for the New York Comedy Festival said, my show has the highest fake tit to regular tit ratio. We have the most with fake boobs at our show, which is a good thing to have. I think I like that.

You know what I mean? Out of every show, they don't get that a comedy. You get 700 people in New York and places like that. In in New York, we Gramercy, we sold out. That was like 750 in LA. We're getting about 400 now. Moving into the Roxy, which is great. We've got, you know, it just depends on the on the festival and the venue. But we every show on the road, we're doing extremely well with.

You know what I mean? I love it. I got to be honest with you about one thing. What's that? And don't get offended. Please. I like what you did. I don't like when people fucking sing for me fucking songs. Like if you think I get picky about food, fuck with me about music, Jack. Fuck with my world of music, because I'm even pick it.

I get pissed. What when they what do you mean, like? I'm way older than you. When I was a kid, there was. Jaws and there was something else. There were spoof songs. So what you did was you took the best of the summer songs and you wrote a story about it. So did you see the shark?

What did you tell him? Please, Mr. Please. And then, oh, my God, he's coming into the kitchen and they would do it. Look at the Jaws, the spoof song from the 70s. See if it's on there. Jaws spoof song. Yeah, from the 70s. Like they did shit like that. That was cute for a while.

They did them terribly burnt the fuck out. Dickie Goodwin. Yeah, Dickie Goodwin, Mr. Jaws. Yeah, let's see. Let's hear this. Is this it? I think. We are here on the beach where a giant shark has just eaten a girl's swimmer.

Well, Mr. Jaws, how was it? Ah, oh, my God! And what did she say when you grabbed her? Please, Mr. Please. I know sharks are stupid, but what did you think when you took that first bite? I'll speak. Mr. Jaws, before you swim out to sea, have you anything else to say? I can't breathe in, I can't breathe.

I got with 10. They were cute. Get down the knife. Wasn't this popular? Fucking huge. Number one hit, actually. Took the Beatles off number one. Was that it?

Oh, he keeps going. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, get to the chorus. Wait, it's over, hold on. He's shouting something at him. Hey, Jaws, the captain says he's going to catch you. What do you think of that? Uh-oh, here he comes again.

I can't believe people bought this. It hit him. Mr. Jaws, why doesn't anything see through? This was it. This is like... Hold on, here's the song. He's coming right onto the boat. Mr. Jaws, why are you grabbing my hand?

No, wait. Mr. Jaws, that's not the way this record is supposed to end. Help! Help! Open the door! Open the door! Open the door! Open the door!

Open the door! Open the door! You got everybody on there. This guy stole more than rapist. He's got everybody on there. He's the comedy black fatty. They made like three of these and then they went kaput. Were you just, like, on their Wikipedia page, not too long ago?

No, I just was thinking about it. Now I'm thinking about comedy music about a year, two or three years ago. Eddie Bravo and Rogan after a comedy show said let's go see Steel Dragon. I left after the second show. No disrespect to them. They're nice guys. I met them, I can't tolerate that shit. Well, I think that's the shit that drives me.

This isn't like, this isn't like supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be like, we don't want, like I don't want, like if you want to make it funny, you can and the crowd will love it regardless. But it's like, when you do that, what's cool about it is like they never get to see, they get to see an honest side of you. Absolutely.

Do you know what I mean? If you can't hide it behind your jokes, you got to fucking perform that. So when somebody goes up there and they do it, man, you know, the crowd gets to see you in a vulnerable position and that's what's a beautiful thing. You know what I mean? It takes, it takes Joey Diaz from,

Joey Diaz from Uncle Joey and makes him just fucking Joey Diaz, you know what I mean? The most important thing about that bong hit was I did it lefty. That's the first time in my life I've ever did a bong hit lefty and it worked. First time, no fucking practice, you understand me? Good, I shot all that basketball as a youngster.

You mentioned your boy. I knew you guys were tight. Did you start together in Baltimore? Who? Sickler. Sickler? No, Ryan, Ryan, I met, I ran a met out here. I met Ryan at the improv one night.

One of my first real shows, like doing a real set of the improv. Remember Daryl Wright? The black dude. Where was he? I have no idea, man. I heard he was in Vegas. He's doing a NASCAR show with Jay Moore

and then I see Jay Moore and Tiwi doing the Rams. I have no idea. Daryl just disappeared. Daryl was like the second coming in the improv. He was up there like every night and then he just disappeared. But he used to do a show called Ignorance is Bliss. Do you ever do that?

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did that at the improv. Ryan goes up, does a set and immediately, I remember he mentioned he's from Maryland and I'm like, holy shit. So after the shut set, I just go up, I start talking to him and immediately we hit it off. And he's kind of like my Yoda, you know what I mean?

Like I'll call him when I need advice or I need an opinion about something in comedy related. And what's funny is I tease him about this. Like anytime you ask for his opinion, like, yeah, this dude, he's like telling me to do this and I don't want to do this or my agent. Move away a little bit because every time you go up and down, it's hitting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's vibrating, man. So he'll, I'll be like, yeah, my agent wants me to do this thing, I don't know if I want to do it. And every response that Ryan gives me is, you know what you got to tell that dude? You tell that dude to go fuck himself. You tell him, go fuck himself.

Every advice always ends with, now man, tell that person to go fuck himself. Like that is all, the only advice he's good for, most of the time he's right, I'm not gonna lie. But he's good, he's got a kid now and I talked to him almost every day. He was at the show. He's a producer on the comedy jam television show

because he brought it and he's the story producer. So he works with the comics to kind of like tighten everything and he's great. He's the best man, you know what I mean? I think you know what it is. You meet somebody that's from the same era you grew up, you're gonna fucking stick together. And the minute we met, I was like,

oh, we're gonna be friends. Well, Tony Bennett, it's Monday. September 19th, a beautiful fucking week. I want to be around to pick up the things I like to when somebody breaks and you can't do this.

They don't see the beauty of this. Oh, they wouldn't. They wouldn't see the beauty of it. The crowd would stare at you. Yeah, man. With a suit, are you kidding me? Or what, pointy shoes? My favorite Tony Bennett song

is I left my heart in San Francisco. Oh fuck, I love the first verse I said. It always makes me cry. I like, fuck. It's one of those. Actually, you talk about cry of Tony Bennett is, he did Smile. You know that song?

Yeah. You know, smile if your heart is breaking. Dude. Kick this motherfucker, Lee. We didn't finish. It's Monday. What do you turn it off for? You need a bucket, Lee.

You need to get sweating again. You haven't stopped fucking fidgeting. I'll never stop sweating. Sweating, fidgeting, touching the water. I couldn't believe it before. I mean, I want to be around to see how he does it when he breaks your heart to bits. It's beautiful.

It really is beautiful. This is what I grew up listening to. This piano is fucking smoking. Kick it, Lee. When somebody breaks your heart like you, like you. Bro, bye. Fucking beautiful. Fucking beautiful.

Monday, September 19th, Tony Bennett taking your asshole to the hoop cocksuckers. Lee didn't grow up a music guy. It's really, really alike. What did you grow up listening to at anything? It's kind of random. My parents, my mom just like show tunes and oldies sort of.

And what she grew up with and my dad was sort of disco-y. He worked in nightclubs. So he liked a lot of disco. And so I just never really got into anything. And all my friends in middle school started getting into The Beatles and Dave Matthews. How old are you? I'm 28.

I know I don't have hair, but I'm only 28. I was going to say you were like, all my friends started getting into Beatles. I was like, how fucking old is this dude? No. No, I'm not that old, but I don't know. I just never, I went to my first concert. No radio in your room?

No. I had one, but I never really used it. It was weird. I have a friend like that. It's so weird when you go to his house. For years, I'd always noticed there was something missing. There was something inside. He never had a boombox, never had like a...

I asked him once, I go, you don't have music in hand? He goes, I have music in my office. You know, it's where I use it for sports radio. That's what I used it mostly for. Dude, music and comedy have been in my life. I can pinpoint points in my life through songs and through comedy specials. Well, we all have a personal soundtrack.

Yeah, but not just that, but I mean, I can remember the first time I saw Carlin on Comic Relief. Like, six years old. What was your first comic that you saw? It was George Carlin. That was when I wanted... Well, him and Gary Shandling is the first

real introduction to stand-up comedy was... My dad was watching Comic Relief on HBO, you know? And that was the... That was where Carlin did my stuff is stuff, your stuff is shit. And I was like, that's so cool, man. Like, I want to do that. But he's like, get into it.

You got to be a little older, blah, blah, blah. But I grew up in a musical household. So that was what I was doing from like three on. I always had instruments in front of me. So I remember that. Who played the instruments in your home? My dad. Well, not so much my mom, but my dad really.

And then once I got into like elementary school, that was kind of like my interest. So they got me into trumpet. And then my dad got me a guitar, piano, drums. And then when I got into my like teens, that was when I started like, you know, go out of the house, start smoking weed. I formed a band.

What were they listening to those years? Dude, my dad. All right. This dude, I'm... You play at Tony Bennett's shit. Like, you don't understand, man. Like, I'm one of the luckiest people in the world. My father introduced me to everything dope at an early age.

You know what I mean? How old? I mean, six years old was when I got into... Well, first of all, he had like the Richard Pryor record. So I used to like steal them and put them on. I was always grew up around jazz, like Joe Pass on guitar or like, you know, Miles Davis, Charlie Parker, Coltrane, Thelonious Monk. It was every Bill Evans, Dave Brubeck.

I mean, Frank Sinatra. I mean, Mel Tormey, whatever dude, it was just constant music playing in my house. The Four Freshmen. Just my dad listened to everything. Everything. But also like movies. I remember like at eight years old watching like Red Bull that a Cause or like Mel Brooks, like History of the World Part One when I was like, before I was 10, you know?

So I was introduced to so much cool shit. My mom was more like more of the Beatles and more of the rock stuff. But, you know, my mom, my dad was cool. And then he had me and then I took all the cool from him. You know what I mean? What was the rock stuff your mom listened to? More like, you know, Mamas and Papas, Jefferson Airplane, shit like that. They smoke pot.

Your parents? No. You never call them or you just don't want to know. All right. Well, all right. So. Slow those mics, both of them, before you blow out all our fucking earphones here. My dad, I don't know if you ever smoke grass.

My mom always used to talk about, she'd be like, you know, when I was younger, she's got that like cigarette smoking mom voice, like when I was younger, I smoked hashish with this is really rock store. And that's kind of the last time I did it. I actually got high with my mom back in 2003 or 2004. She had a bad back. We went to the Jersey Shore. She's like, yeah, the viking is not working.

And I was like smoking blunts. I was dating this girl. She taught me how to roll blunts. And that was when I really got into like smoking blunts by myself. And my mom, it was in the hotel room. My dad and my sister left. And I was like, wow. I was like, you know, I mentioned you're in pain.

I was like, if I said I had weed, would you smoke with me? And she's like, I'll try anything. And then me and her smoked a blunt together. And it was, it was an experience. Yeah. I mean, we just sat there and giggled. But she's never smoked it again. And, you know, super, super square, man.

My parents were very, I was the, I was like kind of like their first dose into a lot of real life shit. How many brothers and sisters? I got a sister, a perfect kid, never gotten trouble. She's a doctor, uh, lives in the Eastern shore now in Maryland. Her husband's like the district attorney for the county they live in. Super white men. Super.

Do you talk with her? Do I talk my type with her? Yeah. I mean, you know, she's, she's got a bunch of kids. Like we call, I call her all the time, but like when I say all the time, it's like once a month and we talk for a little bit. And I go and visit when I can. Um, but she's come out and supported me for a lot of things in my life.

You know what I mean? She came out for, we did the Kennedy center. We did the cod damn comedy jam at the Kennedy center. She came out for that. Uh, we played the show at the black cat in DC, you know, probably like six months early, she's come out for that. She wanted to come out for the TV taping, but she was just tied up with the kids. So she couldn't, but she's, she's great man.

You know, just always supported me. I think it's kind of like, I always looked up to her because she was like book smart, not saying I'm not book smart, but definitely I appreciate anybody that can fucking take their, you know, their MCATs and fucking ace it, you know, and study, you know, like, uh, organic chemistry and shit like that. So I respect her, but she also respects me that I'm more street smart and also able to do what I can do. You know what I mean?

It's, it's the same thing. Like it's just, I wish I had what she had. She wishes I had, she has what I had. And it just, it's kind of a cool blend. So you're a fortunate young man. Everything, uh, when we first got here, we were talking about drugs. And I said to you that when I got the nose surgery and she said, she was going to give me something when I got to the fucking pharmacy,

they pulled me over and they're like, listen, she gave you something really fucking strong. Now, right at that point, I'm excited. You know what I'm saying? When they pull you over, like to say, listen, what we're giving you is really fucking. This is some good shit. Like get a lock box.

I'm like, okay, so I'm getting excited for the surgery now. Even with my addictive ways, I didn't take one before the surgery. You know, they want you to have them a week before the surgery. Yeah, I don't need them because I heard oxy's are really addicting. I had done an oxycardin maybe 2007. Right when I was at the end of blow that year, we were doing heroin on Mondays to snort to come down off the coke. Somebody gave me a piece of a red pill.

They said it was an oxy and I popped it and within fucking 10 minutes I had to lay down. My world was rocked. That was my blood pressure drop. I felt like puking. And then when I got the surgery, I go, you know, oxycardin, but the lady told me they're pretty fucking deep. Let's try them.

You know, I'm home. I got the weakest clear. Sure. And I fucking did the prescribed dose the first day one every four hours because I'm scared to. I don't want to Michael Jackson. I got the baby. I didn't do shit.

Didn't fuck you up at all? No, 25 milligrams. Jesus Christ. That'll level. That's, that's. Then the next day I popped three at one time. And by the end of the night. I don't want to Michael Jackson it.

So I'm just going to take four of them. But what I did was by the end of the night, I called a friend and he goes, no, I know you a long time. Nicotine. Yeah. Let me go. Yeah. Four milligrams.

Oh, this would a couple. I usually pop two fours. Listen, though, you pop two fours with a cup of coffee, Cuban coffee in the morning. Oh, Nelly. I saw you eyeballing it right off the jump. I was like, I saw the nicotine gum when I first pulled it out. I said, what's he doing? Because me, you and Mark Maron are hooked on nicotine.

Mark Maron eats them all fucking. All of us are kidneys are going to blow up. The one in my back hurts. I've been chewing nicotine gum for fucking six months now. I started at one four down, popping two at a time. Two fours with a cup of coffee. You're off and running, Jack. They ain't stopped.

I've been telling people for years that I don't want to listen to me. All these fucking half a fan. I'm all I'm all I quit. I quit vaping and immediately just I'm addicted to the nicotine. And you got a CVS. No, I go to I go to Costco, dude. 50 piece. No, you get $50 for 200 pieces.

If you're not buying nicotine gum at fucking Costco, you ain't doing it right. No, no, no. It changes the world right now. CVS got that Mexican fucking. No, dude. If it doesn't say Nicorette on it. No, if it doesn't say four, I got fucking my buddies gave me some Mexican nicorette. You have no fucking you pop two of those.

And a 16 ounce. What do they call it? What's the second coffee at Starbucks? The venting going there and get a venting and pop two of those and get back to me. That'll move your bow. You want to get regular? Oh my God, dude. I looked forward to it in the morning, like I'll have my cup of coffee and I won't have

my first piece. I start moving my bowels move and like, all right, time to pop that first. I get on the toilet. You can't shit. You pop a cup of coffee at 16 ounce with some refa and then follow it with two pieces. What does nicotine make you shit? Oh my God. Because your system gets on fire.

It's like, I don't know what it does, but it just moves me, man. My favorite thing I take before I even came here because I'm like, I'm on, we're not on tour right now. And so I have like this chill time and it's like, I work out in the morning and then I eat and then I have time to chill and if I don't have any work to do, I'll take like a bath for like an hour and a half and write a little bit or just meditate or whatever. There's nothing better. I get in the bathwater, pop a fresh piece of nicorette in.

Oh my God. And the worst part is you start finding these little wrappers all around. Oh, I got them everywhere. I cut myself 18 times. I want to sue nicorette. Those fucking little, those are real ninja stars right there. Those little sharp fucking edges. These motherfuckers don't know.

Guys, if you're confused in the morning, you don't know what, fuck your ADD pills. Don't even work. That's a fucking retard. Listen to me. You got a 16 ounce. Let's say the thing calls for fuck. Let's say you want to make coffee at the house. If it calls for eight ounces, you put three of those in there.

Yeah. Like I don't give a fuck what the jar says. I want my coffee to be blacker than black. I want to get up and go jack. So you get up, you hit that fucking coffee first and let that balance out your body. Then you go outside and hit that fucking joint. You hit that zebra early and then you finish the coffee and then pop two nicorettes. It's over.

Even if you don't smoke cigarettes, it's just... Oh, you don't smoke cigarettes. You're over. Yeah, I know what you're doing. I'll put you in plan. Fuck it. And when you throw a fucking star on this, like a THC star with two nicorettes. What's a star?

What's that? The stars are that 200 milligrams of pure THC. Oh my God. Two of those with some nicorette. Yeah. Sometimes at night, I'm tuned up on the stars. I'll pop two of those nicorettes. It's all over.

And I'll spit it out and pop two more to get the fresh nicotine juice. You know me, though. I'll take it to the next fucking one. It's the greatest thing ever. When you see your face light out, you're like, come on. Don't hold out. Dude, I just stocked up. I just went to the Costco.

Oh, I don't leave the house. I got them on my travel bag for the plane on the plane. Oh, it's the best on the plane. You pop those on the plane with a little vapor pen in the bathroom without setting the alarm off. Can you get away with hitting the vape pen? Because here's the deal. So we were traveling a lot and I had the e-cigarette vape, right? And I go and I had to actually take a shit, too.

So I go and I start taking a shit on it, which is like the first time I've ever done that, take a shit on an airplane. And I'm hitting the vape pen. Next thing I know, it's like, mister, whoever is in there, the fire alarm's going off. And she keeps knocking and then I put the vape away and I'm starting to freak out. They opened the door. Luckily, you know, I had my dick and my balls out and I'm sitting on the toilet with my pants down, taking a shit. She goes, oh, I'm so sorry.

And she closed the door. But in my head, I'm like, fuck, I'm going to get out of here. They're going to fucking put me in handcuffs or like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know how this works. Well, if they don't see the smoke, they can't do nothing to you. Really? They just eyeball you to death. They caught me, too.

But so when I got out, she goes, oh, I'm so sorry. We must have a faulty thing in there because, yeah, it said there was a smoke alarm was going off. And I was like, no, I have no idea. And I mean, I've never been scarier because that's like a, you know, don't you go to jail for that shit? No, it's like a fine 2000. They slap your wrist. Like you said. No, they knock it down at 200 and court.

You go in there and do paperwork that you fucking suck dick for. $10 a week eating fucking Cheerios like a motherfucker. What you need to do if you want to vape on a pen is you have to take the window out because that's where the air conditioning. Oh, for sure. Yeah. You have to hit it and cover it with a sweater and make believe your Copernicus. Like you put your hand to it and just hit it and blow down. They'll suck it right down.

Oh, I've done that a million. Nobody saw. You stopped the smoke in the aisle seat. That's a tough one. You got to have the window seat. You got to have the window seat. You got to have the window seat. And you got to listen to the window seat.

You can hit that vape all for all four hours by the time you land, you fucking don't even want to get off. Listen, let's just go back. I've never, especially because if you've ever seen been on the planes where it looks like there's mist coming out of it, where it's just like a super misty, like right by the window. That's the best. We were flying to Bonnaroo and I was just, I was hit. I wasn't even hiding it. I was just because I had nobody in that row and I was just hitting the vape and it would just like blow a cloud under the seat. Oh, it's the best, man.

People are retarded, but last time I did it, one of the times I was smoking on the plane, a girl, a young girl kept saying, mommy, there's smoke. And she kept saying, that's not smoke. That's air conditioning. Mommy, mommy, I see smoke. Mommy, mommy, I see smoke. And she's like, stop it, Lindsay. That's not smoking. And the dad was like, what are you talking about?

I see smoke that he watched and I would do it on purpose. But right after they look away. Right after they fucking go, look what? And then she finally got an hour and she goes, I see something, but we don't understand. That's weird. Okay, I'll ask the pilot. And that was it. Nobody said fucking nothing.

Nobody cares. As long as you don't blow it in anybody's face, nobody gives a fuck there. You know what I mean? It makes actually the plane smell better. Do you work the 10 p.m. problem? I don't, not yet. When you work the 10 p.m. time, they put you in this Ritzy Boopie hotel. I've been staying there for years.

That's when the one time they put Rogan in my room with me in Rogan's room. I get the Rogan's room. I got a palace. I go downstairs to knock on his door and he's got the little chintzy room. I'm like, dog. Come on, play. I got to show you some. So we went to dinner on the way back.

I go, look at my room. He's like, fuck, they gave you my room. But we've been staying there for a long time. So this last time I stayed there, they have a smoking balcony. So I would roll joints and go out with my blue. And they'd be having conferences. There's a restaurant underneath. A La Fresco restaurant outside.

There's a little everywhere. They have conferences. And there's like a little sitting deck. And I would fucking lie to the joint and smoke it like a chimney. And when they were looking around, I just have my blue out there. But I'd have my joint, my right hand. I fucked with them for a whole weekend. Josh, they couldn't think.

They were everywhere. And then I would leave the joint for them in the ashtray. Like a fucking... Like Spider-Man. Then the next day I would go to... They have a way that you could walk out of the vestibule through a thin alley. But guess what? If it's windy, you could smoke in that alley.

And it goes right back to the thing. Again, I'm watching them fucking with radios. I smell it in the north corner. I had them going fucking bananas for four fucking... I love torturing people with marijuana smoke. It's one of my most favorite fucking things. There's something I got to talk to you about because you mentioned it, but you didn't fucking mention it.

What was that? You want to share a certain passion. That's the reason why you're sitting on the chip. It's not even a passion. I love you as a producer and creator of the goddamn comedy show. You do a great job. I'm happy you put me on. Thank you.

There's a main reason why you're sitting there. I love you as much as I do. A couple of years ago, you suffered a loss. And I live in LA a long time. I've gone through a couple losses in that life, especially at the comedy store. And they always turn it into... No, leave it right there.

They always turn it into a la theatrical experience. I had Marilyn who died in 2007 around the time I stopped doing blow. And I remember all these people that came to me and cried at the fucking thing. And I see them on her birthday. They never come up to me. There's only one person who calls me on her birthday.

And every time I'm driving to the comedy store, I think about it. This could have been her driving instead of me. You know, you just think it's not something that I put on myself with sad music. Sure. And just on the way down, I say a little prayer for Marilyn, you know, because she would have been not there with me

at the comedy store. And you find yourself in life. In life, I had early losses as a child. These kids in grammar school. In 1999, I had one of my best friends that was a fucking savage, but he loved that I did comedy. I have their pictures up.

And every Monday, I put a glass of water and I say a prayer for them. And I live for them in a way. I go, you know what, man? And I know you were tight with Angela. I remember for years, you wore it heavy. It messed with you. And I know for a fact that when I read

the goddamn comedy jam picked up, I thought of fucking it. Oh, do you want to hear something? Oh, my God. Do you want to hear something even creepier? Oh, my God. Do you want to hear something even crazier? I'm sorry I brought this up.

No, no, no, no, no. But this is the podcast, baby. This is just momentum. One, I love talking about Angela Bowers because I want other people that don't know about him to look him up and look up his comedy because he was great. He was one of the best.

So everybody listening, like, look up Angela Bowers. There's not a lot of clips of him, but the ones that are up there are great. And where we shot the hour special was literally 200 feet away from where the accident was. Like, I, so before the shoot. Told you. So before the shoot.

Life's a motherfucker. Life's a motherfucker. Life's a motherfucker. So I went, I went to the, to the accident spot and I chilled out and I put on some music and I kind of just got present, talked to him a little bit and went in and did the show. Not to take the subject off you.

Please. There's just a lot of listeners who know if you really want to get fucked up. Two pieces of nicotine gum in your mouth. Shoot for two minutes and drink a gallon of water. Holy shit. That washes that nicotine gum right into your stomach. You'll never feel the surge like that in your life before.

I gotta be honest with you. The first time I read that, the first thing that came to my mind was fucking Angela. Yeah, for sure. You made this fucking work from up above. And then now you tell me this, two hundred fucking feet from the accident. You're like...

Oh, he's, dude, the reason, the reason I'm still doing standup, the reason I'm doing this show is because of him. He was the guy that told me to do it. You know what I mean? It's so weird. I try to tell I'm 53. And I wouldn't be if,

if I didn't get science. You get science, man. You get science and you can't tell people because right away they'll call a straight jacker for you and go, you're fucking crazy. You're retarded. But you know in your heart, Jesus Christ, look what this motherfucker did.

Look what he laid out for me. He went, but he never forgot me. And he's watching me. He watches me. Sometimes when I make, when I want to make a left, someone will tell me to make a right. And you're like, fuck, what made me do that?

And you're like, you know, one of these motherfucking ghosts that I got on my back, because they don't leave. They don't leave. They go into a hole and that fucking soul lasts and they watch, man. But I gotta tell you, I always thank Angelo for you for that.

Cause when I saw that fucking thing, I go, wow, wipe some motherfucking land. No, you said the same thing. And now you proved it to me. So he, he was the guy who told me to do the show. He told me, he goes, this is like, I mean, I'm not long ago was, but he was still alive.

So I'm probably like 2010, 2011. He's like, dude, he's like, you, you're great doing stand up. But, and I can tell you having fun, but there's, there's something about you doing music where it's undeniable. It's like, you gotta figure out a way to combine both those, whether it's a show or it's a this or it's a that,

but just figure it out. And so when all that shit happened in 2012, and then you spend, you know, like I got, you know, I got sober and then like started, then I got Montreal and shit didn't start going right. And I was like, I don't know if I want to do this anymore. Then I heard him just be like, we do that show.

And I was like, yeah, you're right. You know what I mean? I should do that show because I'm not going to give up. If I gave up, I don't know, he would have been even more pissed. And so I just listened to what he said. And it just, it's like when, when we have like the roadies on the show,

if you remember, we have the, we have Jeremiah Watkins and Johnny Scordes and Johnny, when I asked him to be the roadie, I said to him, I was like, but you want to be it? And he goes, well, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. And I go, just do what Angelo would think is funny and just do what the shit you used to do with him. Like cause Andrew used to like see us and like puff his chest out

and be like super like aggressive, but he was like just kidding with us. Cause he's the nicest dude ever. And I was like, just do that. And that's what he does. You know what I mean? It's literally, he's got his hand in every part of this show. And it's just like, it's just, he's directing.

And that's what he's making. It's, it's so easy is because he's there, man. You know, he's a hundred percent there. Good for you, man. Thank you. I'm happy it all worked out. I'm happy that you got a sign. I'm happy that, uh, you know, this all worked out.

And you're a great kid. I'm saying you grow up around here. And it's good to see these guys, you know, with the traffic and with the common goal that we have when you see somebody stick around and just stick to what he's been doing. You know, you, Dean, a bunch of guys I've seen grow right in fucking following me. So it does. So I'm going to give some shout outs.

Teddy Gregory, Dustin and Oasis, Bob Lelingus, Sergio Ortega, my man, Matt Baker up there in Bakersfield, Dustin Luckey, Ari Stitham, Nobo in Japan, you bad motherfucker, and Ted Zoltan. What are you nuts? Or what? So what's up with you, Lee Cox-Sucker? What'd you think of the barbecue in Austin? Give people a review.

Well, it was great. Where have you had bottom? I made barbecue wings on Tupon Sunday with Anna. The wings at the hotel were great. But okay, so I had it. The first time we went to Austin, we were staying in this weird location. So I just took a cab one day and it was like a chain. People know it.

I talked to people about it in Austin. It's a chain that's in like gas station sort of. It was good. I enjoyed it. And then this time we had luckily Bobby Sharon and he took me to blacks. Because I would love, in theory, to try Franklins. But I was talking to some people. They get there like six in the morning.

That's too much. I can't do that. So blacks, there was like a line for like five minutes. Bobby Sharon tricked me. He told me to get a beef rib, which I didn't know was like the Flintstones style. Did you eat the whole thing? No, I couldn't. I ate most.

I got a half a pound of brisket of that. I got a potato salad. Potato salad. I'm starving right now. You're talking about barbecue. What do you think of Texas as a whole? It has a really bad reputation where I'm from. It's really weird.

Because I don't know. It's where I'm from is mostly Democrat, I would guess. And there's mostly Republican. And it's just, it's crazy how much it divides people. So I always hear about Texas. Like, I forget who we were talking about. But someone was driving across country and they said, don't stop in these towns. Like that's what people would say to me about Texas.

Like don't, you don't want to be a Jew in Texas. And then when I moved out here, I started hearing about Austin. You know what it might have been, how this dates me. But I was a kid and the real world was there. The show was, and they had like a video thing. And that was their job. They were working at South by Southwest. And that was right when I wanted to start doing video.

So I was like, oh, that Austin might be fucking cool. That might be nice. And then you hear about it, you hear about it. And every time I go, it changed my life driving across country here the first time because I drove through the South. And they're just fucking nicer. They're just, even at the gas station, it's just sweet. Like you said, you said you hate Waffle House.

I'll always love Waffle House because every time you go in there, they're nice. The food's bad. I know. The food's terrible. The service has got it like a smile. You can't mess up a waffle. I mean, just don't get eggs. Well, who goes in there for fucking Waffle?

It's a Waffle House. That doesn't mean you go in there for fucking Waffle. That's what you do. I sat in there with 10 times. I never had a waffle. I've never got the eggs there. We actually just went, I went to Waffle House for the first time when I was in Tennessee doing Bonnaroo and everybody.

You got to get the hash browns. What are they called? I don't know. I haven't been that often. They're like, it's like cheese and something else on it. They're called like split it and win it. It's like a David, like a Nick. Something real quasi-racist.

You know what I mean? Somebody made up and it was bullshit. It was literally just like hash browns you get at Denny's with a piece of cheddar cheese on it. Yeah. I don't get anything but waffles there, but the whole point was terrible. And then the past two times, both times, whichever one I meet, whenever I would get to go out and say hi or everyone's just so nice to me there.

First of all, I've never looked at it as a Republican or Democrat. I've never considered myself anything as a child, nothing. I always thought that was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. So I've never thought about it that way, but let me tell you the reality about Texas. For me, in my life, I cut my comedy teeth in Texas. You were saying if I break my dates down that I worked in Texas, it would have probably been five years, six years out of my 25 years. And they went along for the rides.

You know, I bombed in a lot of places. Austin was one of them. I used to bomb in Austin all the time because they're conservative in a way. Well, Austin, isn't Austin a little bit more like it's kind of like a... It's R.T. It's R.T. It's a little bit more... People say it's more free thinking.

I've had great times in fucking Houston and Dallas. I've had great times. I've had great times in El Paso. One of the nights of comedy I laughed the hardest in my life was in the Amarillo Comedy Club. It's closed now. It's not even thought to be a comedy club. One of the hardest nights I ever laughed in, and there were six people in the audience. Who was it?

It was myself, and Mike Faberman was the feature act. And I tell you this, two guys, this girl had the waitress there. Had the biggest breast you've ever seen in your life, and they were real. She was a chubby Mexican girl, but her tits had just... Something happened to her, and she was about to go for the surgery. To get them reduced? To get them reduced by half because they were just ginormous. Ginormous, and she wasn't a stripper.

She was a student. They had to stop going to school because they ridiculed. Jesus. The other was Mexican. The dad was Mexican. They owned the Mexican restaurant next door to it, and there was a comedy club there. Froggy Bottoms had been there for years. See if Froggy Bottoms is still open.

And what's it? Amarillo, Texas. Well, I think it's Amarillo, but let's just ask Froggy Bottoms Comedy Club. And that club, they closed, and they felt so bad they opened it as a restaurant. But then people started coming and going, where's the comedy? Where's the comedy? And they started calling. They didn't know what they were doing.

They had no idea. They knew nothing. They have a one in Lubbock. Lubbock. Is it still open? I think so. Let's see. Lubbock.

It wasn't Amarillo. Amarillo was Kelly Moran's call. No, it closed according to Yelp. How long ago? Let me check that. I don't know. Because it was like Rose's Mexican restaurant. Lisa Yacht, your head would have blown up at this place.

I never forgot how good the tamale was with lettuce and cheese on top of the lettuce. Did they get it from the restaurant next door? The restaurant owned the comedy club. They ended up buying it. And they had a daughter named Julia. And they didn't know nothing about promotions, nothing. We get there. They had a condo that they bought from the comedy club.

Nice condo. A nice little fucking three days. But that particular night, I was on stage for six people. And there was one guy that was drinking doubles. And every time he'd look at it, you could see that his tits were getting bigger. Right. He would just look at them. At first, it was like he was very polite.

He was a Christian man. You could see that he was raised well. But after six drinks, those titties are those titties. He popped a couple of nicotine guns and he was off to the race. He was off and running. And he would just sit there and go, Julia. And every time he was in his living room calling his wife. And every time he'd look at it, he'd go, look at the size of your titties, Julia.

And then she would walk away and he'd go, Julia. So by the end of the show, he was fucking hammered, hammered by the end of the show. And all he would say is, Julia. And he would doze off for two minutes and people would goof on him and throwing shit at him. And he'd wake up and he'd go, Julia. And that was it. He went home saying, Julia. And every time he said, Julia, I got to tell you, it was funny and anything I had to say.

Because I was on stage just laughing at him. So alcohol, put him into that man on fire, osmosis. When you just get drunk, he doesn't pass out yet. And you're mumbling things to yourself. He was mumbling things about his childhood. I mean, there was a mental health issue. Do you drink? I'm not a drinker.

I don't think I was going to say it. I don't think I've ever seen you drink. I'm so paranoid of drinking and driving up that fucking hill. And somebody hits me in the cops says, have you been drinking? And I got to tell them, yes. Then I got to fucking pee in a bottle. We'll get a needle in my fucking arm. We'll give a breathalyzer.

I'd rather not do anything at all. Sure. You know, in 1980, I did a hit of acid. I went to Aerosmith and on the way home, I saw this accident. The car was on fire. There was a girl fucking cutting half. And an RX-7 they were trying to take her

and the boyfriend out of alcohol everywhere. And that night, I met a mental note. I'm never drinking fucking drive in 1980. And I just, I can have a machine gun and a dead body in my trunk. And it will not bother me as much as if I have alcohol and drive. Yeah. If I see one cop, I fall apart.

I do not fall apart for anything. If I'm drinking, it's like being in a stolen car. I never stole a car in my life. It's the dumbest thing in the world. They caught you and you're in it. That's it. I can't lose it. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. It's not like, what are you talking about? I don't have to see no credit card. Search the house. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And we didn't find the credit card. Okay.

There's litigation. We got knocked up on the fucking investigation. With a police car, with a cop with a stolen car, I'm in it. It's the same thing with drinking and driving. I always thought I'm in it. I would not snore coke and get behind a wheel of a fucking car. You get really mad at me when you heard that I drank and drive. Even when I waited until I'd like, yeah.

No, no, no, no. It's not even accepted in my world because it's old news. That's all fucking news. Yeah. By this point, everybody should know. That's all fucking news. Yeah. Especially with the day and age of Uber.

Yeah. No, no, no, no. To me, in my world, there was no old news 15 years ago. Like 15 years ago, if they caught you drinking and driving, you should have got smacked, knocked the fuck out of you, and 10 days automatically in jail. That's how I really feel. Like 10 days, well, I have something tomorrow. Too bad.

It's like when they catch you with a gun in Manhattan, you get caught with a handgun. No license in Manhattan or something. They have that law. And you go right to the tombs. You get processed the next morning. Really? You're going home. There's no saying goodbye to your family.

There's no telling your work that you fucked up. That's the consequences. You know what? Until you do consequences like that. Like I was in prison with two guys. That was the nicest kids in the world. That went out for three drinks after the prom or went out one night after Ky-Beta Kappa. They had four beers and they ran into a fat.

They don't fuck around in some states. Both of them killed somebody or put somebody in the hospital, you know. Right there. That's it. Right there. That's it. Not only number two. I'm a comic.

Without a car? Yeah. That's a lonely career, Doug. I saw it. I saw it two or three times. Comics. I got DUIs in Denver when I was first starting. They got to call you and you got to meet them and then they live in the edge of hell.

No. No, no, no, no. I'll drive my old fucking car. I don't want to know creepy motherfuckers in my car. Cigarettes. Listen to Shangri-La music and they got to put up with that shit for a fucking hour. Fuck you. And the horse you rode up on, man.

No, no, no, no, no, no. So, no. There's so many disadvantages to a bus for me. You want to scare Joey Dears? Tell him he's got to take a bus on him. That's it. I'll take a train in New York to Coppenhouse or Coke or take a slice of pizza or something. But this nightmare, no.

And the bus, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm too old for the fucking bus. Never will I drink and drive. Well, in New York, it's like getting on the subway is just like, it's nothing. It's just, it's a beautiful thing. It's like part of the city and like, you know, you have the option to take a cab because they're more accessible. But in LA, it's like, if you don't have a car, you're fucked, man.

I don't have weed in my car at night. I don't smoke at night. I just don't smoke. You can get caught here with weed and they won't do anything, right? I'll smoke when I come over to help. But why? Yeah, you have to show them your license and they talk to you and they give you a ticket and you got to go to court with that fucking license and then plead out.

They're still going to make you go to court. You're still going to get a ticket for it. Even if you have a joint. I don't know. I don't know. But I've heard why take the chance. Sure. Because that Thursday I'll have to leave town for fucking one of my biggest weeks.

You know what I'm saying? Like one of my favorite weeks. And I got to call that comedy club and tell them why because it resonates. I get it. That type of shit resonates. So you know what at night, I don't want to smoke. I smoke when I come over to help. As soon as I get over to help, I spark.

I pull over. You don't smoke at the comedy store? Since I've been back there one night with one of the kids I took tour. I had a joint and I gave it to him and I felt weird that I was giving him a joint and not smoking it. I didn't want him to say, Joey, what the fuck? What'd you put in there? You know what I'm saying? So I took two hits just to love.

It was a waitress. I didn't want him to think about it. I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I never. But besides that, I don't really try that. And that was shitty weed. They give him one of those free joints from the fucking.

From the things. Yeah. From the dispensaries. Yeah. Apparently they're working on a way to figure out if you're high. Yeah. That's why. No.

Why? Just break that. Just talk to him long enough and you'll find out. You know what I mean? All you got to do is ask him a couple of questions. Like, I mean, alcohol is so easy. It's just on your breath. Weed is, it's like, you just, you can tell, man.

You can tell people. I have a high fucking tolerance for marijuana and edibles. Yeah. And I ate a thousand milligrams and I was driving home and I'm like, I'm not high. No. Like I wouldn't get in the car if I even had like a suspicion. There's tons of night. Me and Leo stay city at two hours after we're just talking.

And in reality, it's just cause I don't want to get in the fucking car. Cause you're so high or you just don't want to drive. Yeah. I just know that there's, there's, there's a time when I can get in the car and there's a time when I can't get in the fucking car. Yeah. I know. I know.

Even when you smoke a couple of joints, it's a, you'll hit a garbage can or one of those mirrors that's sticking out. I've been down that road already guys. I wouldn't fucking talk to you unless I knew about it. You know, I don't crash cars. I had garbage cans and those cones. God always puts those cones in my way and rear view mirrors. I've knocked off 10 rear view mirrors and I'm not two of my own and 10 of somebody else's,

you know. So you just know, you know, when you get in the car. Driving is tough as is sober. Like it's just, there's so many fucking dickheads on the road that I got cut off on the way here tonight in a way guys that you got to pull over and say, call him a fucking cunt. I hope your mother's head blows up. What she's sucking your father's dick or something evil to him. You had to pop two nicotine guns to calm yourself down.

I don't have time for it. I don't even have time to beep anymore. If you're that fucking retarded, you're going to get yours. You're going to get yours because I could have been drunk and doing 90 and you want to play that. Let me just do it right so you can slow down and fuck with you a little bit really. There you go. There you go.

Right there. They just caught another one. Let me get the paperwork. What's up, Lee? Did you ever have like, when I first started doing Paula, she would like get upset because of how upset I'd get behind the wheel. And she didn't like, it's weird how it's like, you get so upset, but it doesn't really stay with you.

At least for me, it doesn't. Like all the furious while I'm driving. I've thrown paints cans at people. I used to keep in my Jeep. I used to keep like bolts and I used to throw those at cars that would do fucked up shit. One minute on the fucking one of those, the five for 10 miles. I fought with a guy throwing pennies at him. I cracked his fucking windshield.

He chased me. I pulled off. I threw more pennies at him. I got his windshield and I went home and I go, what the fuck did I just do? What the fuck? How old am I? What the fuck is this shit? This guy could have had a fucking missile launcher.

He could have been ISIS on his way to a fucking house party. And here I am throwing pennies at some fucking guy from my middle console because he caught me up. You know what? These type of guys, they're gonna cut somebody off and somebody's taxing and he's doing 90s. I take the rear end and this guy's gonna be in a fucking wheelchair the rest of his life and he'll figure it out. He'll figure it the fuck out.

Yeah. I used to get mad. I don't do it anymore. I had a buddy that would just scream bloody murder, man. He was his dad. I think he thought, that's his dad did it, so he thought it was cool if he did it. I mean, he would fucking just, yeah, fuck, yeah, fuck. And it's like, dude, you look ridiculous right now.

The guy, he has no idea. Just give him the finger and move on. You can get up close to him. Dude, I had a woman do something so stupid recently on sunset where I could have died, another car could have died. And so I pulled up next to her and I am a winter diamond. The supermost calm way, I was like, do you realize what you could have done? You almost killed me and another car.

And she just stared straight ahead. They don't care. They do not care. She stared straight ahead. She started, she rolled her window out when she saw me coming up and she could hear me. They do not care. They don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck.

Dude, you look stupid. They don't give a fuck. That's what I'm saying. That they, when people have that attitude, they're not gonna change. And soon enough, someday, they're gonna get this. Oh, for sure. You know it. Now, at this point, I'm like, it's not even worth it.

I've got so many tickets. God bless you. I've got so many tickets. When I first got my Cadillac Man, I didn't realize how fast it was. And I got a shitload of tickets. Also, I got a, you know, CTS, CTSV. And I didn't realize how fast it was. Dude, it's fucking V8.

It's powerful as fuck. And also, I was on opiates because when I got it, I was like, that was when I still used it. This time, I got from the Hollywood Improv to the Irvine Improv in like 35 minutes. Like, I was going 120 the whole way at 11 o'clock at night so I can make my spot with Dustin E. Bar and Nick. Yeah. Just fucking just ballin'.

I got so many tickets and it literally, like my insurance went up, all this other shit to the point now where I take my time. My dad used to always say that. He's like, dude, just take your time. You're gonna get there. Just, you know, be a defensive driver. I took all the, I had to take classes. I do all this shit to keep my license and now, I mean, I literally drive a good one.

I'm a defensive driver, but I don't take my time. Well, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, no. You know what I mean. No, no, no. Like, there's like going 70, 80 miles an hour, but there's also going 70, 80 miles an hour in a straight line, not going jing, jing and just curving through different cars. That's when you're gonna like.

Yeah, no, you'll end up dead. Yeah, that's when you'll end up dead, you know? Dude, I used to fucking, you know, smoke. I always liked smoking weed and driving. I'm like drinking it. Actually, drinking and driving. I was actually good at. I have 3DUIs, but some people are good at that shit, but I'm going to check it out.

They just sent me pictures from Black Sabbath. You should have gone, dude. I feel like such an ass. No. We could have done this tomorrow night. No, not at all, my friend. We couldn't have done it tomorrow night. Check it out.

Let me see. I don't know how to fucking do this. He's right there, too, let me see. I just saw, speaking of Rage Against the Machine, I just saw Prophets of Rage. How were they? Ah, okay. Here's the deal. Rage Against the Machine is not, it's like this, Tom Morello, the band is incredible,

but Zac De La Roca is that, he's what makes that band. He's like the icing on a delicious cake already. It's so perfect with him as a lead singer to have Chuck D and Be Real. It just wasn't good enough, in my opinion. It's like this, if Queen wants to tour, they have to get a new singer because Freddie Mercury died. Zac De La Roca is living in Tustin. He's there.

He can do the goddamn show if he wants to. That's what hurt me even more. It's like, why can't he just do it? We need Rage Against the Machine right now with all the fucked up political shit going on in the world. You need that voice. You need this band more right now than ever before they came out. This is it with fucking Trump running for president.

We need that band and giving the finger to the fucking man. It was like, I've seen Rage Against the Machine live, who is probably the best live band I've ever seen, so it just didn't live up to it. Everybody else was going ape shit bananas. They were going fucking bananas and I was just like, you motherfuckers have no idea. You don't know. These are for people, it's like there was literally like a Rage Against the Machine cover band. It was an amateur hour and they all fucking took the bait.

They took the bait. That's all. You know what? When you're watching them, unless you're fucking an amateur, you're like, this is just something that'll be for a while. You know, I came, I enjoyed it. You know what I did? Fucking drank two Red Bulls, popped probably like 15 pieces of nicotine gum and just fucking

rode that wave, baby. Forget about it. You got to do the nicotine gum with the sugarless fucking Red Bull. That's what I did. I did that before I came here, dude, on the ride here. What the fuck do you think you're dealing with? These amateurs do the sugar Red Bull. Just without the sugar that puts you on a different fucking planet.

You understand me? I love you. You got it. You got it. You have no idea how much that moment when you saw that nicotine gum, we were like, let me get a piece. Fuck. That made me, that was the greatest part of my whole life.

I'm going to go get a pack myself for a ball of gum. I'll give you a 10 pack in my car, baby. I'll go at you. Oh, beautiful. Let's do it. That's a good shit. I couldn't get you the juju beads that you wanted, so I'll give you some nicotine gum. I don't read a lot of magazines.

I really don't. From time to time, I'll read people. I like the first couple of pages of people. I like Rolling Stone. The first couple of pages of Rolling Stone, or if I see a specific article, a goal about the Rolling Stone. They did a bunch of articles about Pink Floyd last year, so I picked them up. Jerry Rocha picks them up, whatever.

That's my experience here with it. But this texture that I'm going to tell you guys about, I've heard nothing but great things from people who fly, especially people who fly and have three or four magazines. Some people will read magazines, or some people fucking listen to podcasts. So thanks to Pizza, we're all binge eating. Thanks to Netflix, we're all binge watching, but now with Texture, you could start to binge read like with people are fucking doing. Trust me.

It's about to be a thing. When it comes to magazines, you know what you like. And with Texture, you can get all the magazines you want in one super convenient place. Texture has completely reimagined magazines, giving you the articles and stories you really want all in one place, plus interactive features, videos, and recommendations just for you. The Texture app lets you tap into the world's most popular magazines anytime, any place using your smartphone or tablet, breeze through hundreds of favorite magazines, including back issues.

Like Motor Trend, Men's Journal, Men's Health, Men's Fitness, Entrepreneur, ESPN Magazine, Forbes, Fortune, Sports Illustrated, Teen Vogue, The New Yorker, This Old House, Vanity Fair, Today's Parent, Town and Country, and the list goes on and on. Texture has made it easy to find articles you care about. I don't just get to read these magazines I mentioned, but you can also get the other ones I mentioned, from Ski to Smithsonian to Southern Living to Sports Illustrated, Kids to Successful Farming. I mean, it goes on and on and on.

What I'm going to do is sign up to Texture right now and gain inside access to all the content from the world's best publications. The best part is, Texture is offering my listeners a free trial right now when you go to Texture.com slash Joey. You'll gain immediate entry to all the top magazines, including back issues and bonus video content. Start binge reading for free. Right now, when you go to Texture.com slash Joey, again, that's Texture.com slash Joey.

The Texture app is entirely digital, so it's super environmentally friendly way to consume the best magazines and articles. Again, right now, free. Go to Texture.com slash Joey. Lee, so far, how many pounds of you won't, I know you're fucking blew up. I blew up in Austin, but I've been really, Blue Apron has really been helping me. I wasn't cooking before Blue Apron. It was too much to go get recipes and I was cooking the same two things with Blue Apron.

It literally comes to my house with everything that I need, so I'm a jerk if I don't do it now. It's coming tomorrow. It comes Tuesday every week. You're going to go on a mission tomorrow, I'm going to come by and rub the fucking shipment. What order are you getting tomorrow? Let's see.

I'm looking forward. I haven't even looked to see what I'm getting. I like it because you can go a month in advance and pick your meals, but then I, because I just forget and it's like a surprise when it comes in. Let's see what I'm getting. Give me two seconds. You like all the stuff that comes in the box, you eat the vegetables, you use all the products to the end?

I'm not going to say everything has been my favorite meal, but it's been interesting because I've never once, I did that juice thing for a while and I had kale and he made fun of it. A couple of the things have had kale in it and I'm like, eh, that's not going to be good. It was like kale, corn, like stir fry thing. It was pretty good. That's what I'm getting.

Anyway, as long as you like the ingredients, let me talk to you about Blue Apron. Not all ingredients are created equal. Fresh, high quality ingredients taste better and are better for you, so it's important to know where your food comes from. Talk about, uh, you know, for less than $10 per meal, Blue Apron will deliver seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to make your delicious home cooked meal. Pre-portion, that's the package right there. Blue Apron knows that when you cook with incredible ingredients, you make incredible

meals so they set the highest quality standards for their community, suppliers, family run farms, fisheries and ranches, whether it's the Japanese ramen noodles or the wild caught Alaskan salmon or the heirloom tomatoes. Blue Apron is bringing you the best, okay? What we're going to do is this. It's nice and simple. They mail your box, right, Lee? Yeah, they mail your box with everything.

So this week, listen to this. I'm getting Korean pork tacos with spicy red cabbage law. I'm also getting blackened chicken with zucchini, rice, corn and cherry tomatoes. And then I'm getting brown butter and thyme gnocchi with mushrooms and Swiss chard. Look at the other group. Look at this. Crispy salmon and orzo salad. Yeah.

That might be the family plan. Crispy pork chops with lemon, mustard, ole, ole. Chicken fried rice. I mean, this is just tremendous. Summer squash with mozzarella and focaccio pizza. New recipes are created weekly and are not repeated within the year. Choose your meals from a variety of recipes or let Blue Apron's culinary team surprise you.

You make up your own mind. You're killing yourself for less than $10 a meal. Blue Apron will give you a dinner of your life. Let's do this. I'm going to do this for you tonight. You're going to get your first three meals for free. That's free. F-R-E-E with free shipping to boot by going to blueapron.com slash joey.

That's blueapron.com slash joey. Thank you guys for listening to the show. Don't forget, most important, there's a few fucking tickets left for New York City. Don't hit me up on Twitter saying, Joey, there's no tickets left. Last week in Austin, same fucking thing happened Friday, all day on Twitter. Joey got no tickets. Guess what? There's nothing.

There's nothing. I got four people. I'm going to New York. So don't come crying to me. If you want tickets, I know Saturday night sold out already in New York. Oh, shit. There's three fucking days to rock the house, get on those motherfuckers, and I don't have another date to the lat- No, there's only three more.

No expectation shows. And that's October 29th at the fucking ice house. You got New York and the ice house the week after that. What do you got coming up, Tarzan? October 4th. We're going to be at the Roxy, the goddamn comedy jam at the Roxy. Every Thursday night, you can see me at the Hollywood Improv for the midnight snacks and reminds us Thursday nights on another Saturday to check my Instagram on that post to find

out. Also, we'll be at the New York Comedy Festival November, fuck, I should probably look at this because you're talking about, hold on, well, we're going to be at Houston. No, we're in Houston. We're in Houston in November. What date? Tell them the date. November 18th.

I just don't know what exactly is the time. I think it's a whole weekend. It's a whole thing. So I know I'm there Friday night, one night, so. We're doing November 5th. We're at Gramercy Theater if you're in New York to see the goddamn comedy jam, guys. You can check me out on all social media is Josh Adam Myers. The goddamn comedy jam is the G.D. comedy jam, man.

Watching on Comedy Central and say a prayer and hopefully we go to series and then Joey Diaz can can do a much better quality taping of of killing in the name of fucking dude. We'll do Freedom by Rage Genson Machine. Fuck yeah. We'll do. We'll do. Girls just want to have girls just want to have fun fucking now whipping post. We'll do everything.

Lisa. Yeah, we might be back tomorrow. We might not. We might just see you next week, but don't forget. We love you. Stay Black. Have a great day. Thank you, Josh.

My pleasure. Thank you for having me. I love you. Stay Black, cocksuckers. This show was brought to you by Blue Apron. Go to blueapron.com slash joey right now and check out this week's menu. When you sign up at blueapron.com slash joey, you're going to get your first three meals for free with free shipping.

So go to blueapron.com slash joey right now and sign up for Blue Apron. You're going to get your first three meals for free with free shipping. The show is also brought to you by Texture. Go to Texture.com slash joey right now and they're offering our listeners a free trial when you go to Texture.com slash joey. You'll get an immediate entry to all the top magazines, including back issues and bonus content. So start binge waiting for free right now when you go to Texture.com slash joey.

Texture.com slash joey. Do you know what you want to close with? Rage against the machine, killing in the name of. Yeah, dude. Oh, so much. I got a piece so bad. Go ahead. Thank you, brother.

Thank you. That was great. Dude, I'm like my favorite part of the whole thing is when we're talking about nicotine down. That made me laugh so fucking hard. Please. This is yours. Yeah, dude, I'm like my favorite part of the whole thing is when we're talking about nicotine

down. Yeah, dude, I'm like my favorite part of the whole thing is when we're talking about nicotine down. Yeah, dude, I'm like my favorite part of the whole thing is when we're talking about nicotine down. Yeah, dude, I'm like my favorite part of the whole thing is when we're talking about nicotine down. Yeah, dude, I'm like my favorite part of the whole thing is when we're talking about nicotine

down. Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. What the fuck?