Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #438 - Bas Rutten
Episode Date: December 12, 2016Bas Rutten, former UFC Heavyweight Champ, 3-time King Of Pancrase world champion, and co-host of the "Rutten and Ranallo" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is broug...ht to you by: Indochino - Go to Indochino.com and use code "church" at checkout to get any premium suit for only $389 (thats 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit) and shipping is free.  Lyft - Sign up to drive at Lyft.com/joey and get a $500 new driver bonus. Seeso: Seeso is the new ad free streaming service. Bingeable comedy. Anytime. Anywhere. Use code JOEY at checkout for 2 months free. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.  Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water. Recorded live on 12/11/2016.
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What I get my adrenaline going
Take that fucking mule Lee. I got time to fuck around
It's Monday
December 12
13 days away from the big day 12 days away from fucking Hanukkah
The church of what's happening now
Mr. Boss routine
Yeah, my little Jewish goomba Lisa yet. Hello, and I'm your uncle Joey kick that meal Lee
I want to hear that motherfucker
Shit
Oh
Shit
Are you kidding me or what?
12 days away, and you'll be sitting around with your family with your finger up your ass
Looking around the room going I work all year for this
This is what the fuck I work all year for to be sitting with these people these fucking kids I
Should be the strip club people's titties on my head fuck Santa
Boss routine in the motherfucking house. How crazy is that?
It's been in the making forever for a while here. Yes, it has a happy Iran. Yeah, me too, man
Look at your friend. Do you have any children brother? I do. I have three girls. How old is 27 year olds
She just had a baby tomorrow. He's one years old
Yeah, and then have a 20 and a 15 year old. How many guys did you knock out along the way?
No, no, you know, I did threaten but I never knocked anybody out yet
What a fucking name it is to have daughters, you know, I know but the good thing in my school or my in my city
Rutan isn't unusual name here, right? So it does always and I always tell my daughters don't say anything
There's always a teacher who goes written by any chance related to boss written and I go, yeah, that's my dad
Oh, is your dad? Okay guys, can I have your attention watch out with this girl, you know, and that solves the problem. That's it. Yeah
But the way they connect to you and rip your fucking lung out
Like this morning was drama in my house because she didn't want to she didn't want to say the prayers or for anybody to say prayers at the table
So you can't eat these same prayers if you eat Bob go to the room. Oh, she's three and a half
She's gonna be four and one fucking mom
So today finally a quarter the fucking 10
She's out there praying, you know, cuz my wife goes, you know, where this dress for church, you know
We're gonna go to church if you don't she went out there. She prayed now. I usually don't go to this church
I'm a fucking Catholic. This is some fucking studio city church. A lot of kids
Gentiles they walk around whatever I go out today. She's in the pageant. Oh
So I go I put the suit on I bust out the whole fucking deal my wife's like, where you putting the suit on people aren't gonna wear a suit
I go, you know, I I wanted to know that we dressed up and made the fucking effort
These are little things I tell people that you don't know when you're fucking 20
That you come and go, you know what this is how you gotta act around it
We take a day I first I parked the car I woke up and there's my wife. I was the fucking kid
She goes they took her that's it. They're downstairs rehearsing. I don't know the fuck they do
Like, all right, you know me she's getting molested in the back of my mind. I'm like the fucking that dirty motherfuckers got it down
I am giving the Bill Cosby pills rubbing her feet shit
Really, this is where my head goes. I don't trust none of those motherfuckers. You do know that you have to you have to you have
Not when she is 13 and she is telling you at the past a finger-banged it you'll go wow
I thought you were downstairs rehearsing
So it might perverted mind. I'm like she's getting finger-banged downstairs
But I don't want to say that to my wife because my wife's a gentle it'll break her heart
I go and I play along at first. I can't hear so I get anxiety in a church
They're singing fucking songs and they're talking whatever there's a guitar in there with a piano the guy had to be 90
Boss the guy playing the guitar had to be fucking
I had to get up. I was high. I had to get up and look over
He wouldn't even he play a chord and he'd pass out
He'd wake up again and play another chord and pass out for another is the best thing if you're 90 you can do anything
You want in 90 first of all we're in the car. I'm like, you know what I didn't get on
I go hold on to that. I wore the wrong shoes. What are you talking about?
I shot out to that fucking backyard and I blasted off two pipefuls of debt
I took some listerine cement and I drank some fucking dike soda just to kill. I have no cologne
I don't use cologne and if you're a man and you use cologne. I got a shoe chick
Yeah, I never use it
Shows watch your pussy. Yeah, your dick's got a smell like your dick or not. That's it. So I
Run back out. I get in the fucking car. I park I run in I know I'm reeking the reef but I got a suit on nobody
It's me
Yeah, when you have a suit on you reeking reef and nobody thinks it's you
Yeah, I think it's a kid 10 minutes to change your shoes didn't your wife. Oh, no, no, I smoke three bowls in two minutes
I'm a prisoner of war. I'm human. I know how to smoke in quick situations. I even smoke the pipe under water one time
Ask me later
Fucking I get into church. I'm highest fuck boss here water is settling in my ear
It's not coming out. So they got me an antibiotics and some steroids. I'm on the last one tonight
But in a week if I can't hear they're gonna put slits under my ear to drain my fucking ears
Oh, wow, and it's killing me when I go to jujitsu because you have him back cardio or
Smoking too much that your cardio is fucked up. That's one thing
But when you got earplugs on and you can hear your fat little heart pumping. Oh, don't hold that pump
And I got to take them out to listen to the guy and then I got to put them back in and at night
You got to wear these things at night when I shower
Because you go to sleep you hear yourself the whole time. Well, no, I don't put them on at night
Oh, I put them out. No, I put them on when I take a shower
Okay, and I put them on in jujitsu because the sweat goes in my ear. Oh, wow, okay
I just realized why I feel funky. Yeah, after like a couple minutes. I feel funky bro. What is this?
Where he goes put plugs in there the water's seven in there
so I
Can't hear so it plays out when I'm in a big place and you have music on now it feels weird
so now I'm in this church and
There's no adults on the stage. There's a bunch of kids singing. I don't know what my fucking daughters, right?
I don't see my daughter. They could be the tree, right?
They got it. They got it downstairs. They really caused me that right
They gave me the Catholic pedophile smoke that pedophile smoke
Catholic church and quailuids and that's your first thought
You have to go there because if not, what the fuck was my kid? I don't say this to my wife
I don't worry and I can't act like a gorilla
So I just don't say nothing and all of a sudden a bunch of girls come out dressed up like fucking
Like angels. Yeah, and they have little things like Jewish things, but they're long and white. I don't know like all they were lamps
Oh, that's what they were fucking lamps. Okay
No big deal
They come in I'm looking for my little fucking angel and there she is right on the corner facing me
Now, you know what man?
Always people always go that's your daughter
Why cuz she looks at me come to the house. I got a dog that looks like me too
Who gives a fuck look like each other today was one of the first times I go
That's my daughter. Yeah, and that's why she scares me. Yeah, that's why I'm petrified
You know like as every kid was out of tension
My daughter was doing the same shit. I do on stage
But you what is that I move from side to side. Oh, yeah, you know when I'm on a set in between takes I
Sit on that mark
But I move from I drive directors craze. Oh, yeah
And she was doing that not only that she was on an angle
So basically she was telling and I could see the fucking dummy that does this that was
Who's serious about her job? These are four-year-olds. Yeah
Yeah, I would fucking thank you
Smiling I'm like all the director even my daughter. I saw my daughter look at it one time like what the fuck
And then my daughter looked at me when my daughter see that was up there
She was like smiling at me, but then she'd pay attention and do a thing
But the beauty of it was she never stayed on the mark
She always stayed on an angle sideways and the whole time
She went from side to side and even when the other kids were standing like zombos
She would move up with her hands like a real dove like an angel
Oh, I'm doing I'm like, you know what it's crazy. Yeah, little bitches on to something
I like that she's on to something a little flower of love. I don't want to do and stand up
But number one just that rock
Got me my heart like it just twisted because that's my daughter. Yeah, that's it
My mom had the same thing we can't when I was 18 people always go dope. You never stand still
Yeah, I have the same thing my people go. What the fuck sign my friend was a dear friend now when I was
At that age, you know is go someday
You're gonna have a fucking kid and she's gonna or he's gonna know you the way you annoy the fuck out of people with that constant movement
I couldn't sit still, you know, I couldn't sit still and look I am paying for my sins now today
So, you know, but it's good, you know, you came out good, right? Not really
Conductor, that's what they call it
You
Feathers, you know make it a happy thing or do something else. Yeah, Lee. What's up with you Tarzan?
Oh, you got the sugar daddy shirt and sugar night shirt on today again
I gotta represent this you want to visit your cousin in jail? Look at you. No, I uh, I
Just you know boss. I'm new to this whole world
So I honestly just spent a little bit of time looking you up. Oh shit. Okay, you knew what whole world
You know, you have MMA fight all that and it was just listen, you're you're Jewish right people invented this whole fucking thing
You guys invented crowd my guy. You went fuck the Chinese people. They taught you kung fu. You taught them crowd my god
Oh, tell them boss
They did these guys. They're under attack 24-7. So they have the best system down. They really have you know
I mean the women go in the army there. I mean better watch out. You know that cross my god
There's some chrome god jams. They're like my buddy. I'm here parades. He's probably the best guy out there
You know, I introduced him to the the guys from sports science, right?
Because I did a few bar fighting things for them and kicking things and see how much it pounds
I can hit and all that stuff and then they asked me about weapons if I could do that
I say, yeah, I can do it
but you know, I can put you in contact with my buddy as he's this guy's got to blow your way and
So I put him in contact
I knew that we're gonna shoot around one o'clock and I got one 15 the director is calling me and I pick up and the thing
I say is he's freaking you out, right? And he goes, where did you find this guy?
You know, how I you know how I met this guy? He I came to America. I'm here for like three weeks of going out
He approaches me is in a bar and he goes man. We watch all your fights from pancreas. We watch it here on the pay-per-view
Are you teaching anywhere? I say, yeah, I'm teaching at the Beverly Hills Jiu-Jitsu Club
Okay, so I gave him the days and he's coming right away the first day that I'm teaching. He's there
So he comes in you watch the whole class all my students are there and at the end of the class
He says man, that was unbelievable. Thank you so for much for letting me watch
Can I show you what I do?
And yeah, sure, you know, so he gets his bag opens it up and it gets like a fake knife out and he's got this
Wooden gun and and some I could you know what I said, don't worry about it. I said leave it in the back
I'm not I'm not really into that because what do you mean? I said I seen a thousand times man
This is such a dangerous stuff. It needs to be good and otherwise it's not gonna work
So that don't worry about it. So he goes, okay
And he goes into his bag and he starts looking and he gets a pellet gun and he loads the pellet gun and he gives it to me
He says why don't you shoot me if you see me move and I guess excuse me. So now the whole class
So what did you just say? I say, yeah, but he said you got to be you know, you got to be nice
She only when you see me move don't point and shoot right away. I go, okay
Six times six times. I was not able to hit him to to connect and six times. He had my gun within in
In a second. I'm hit and he has my gun and he's at a distance
So I brought him in contact with that guy. They measured it
200s of a second he took the gun away if you see it in slow motion
You know, you literally see a redirecting grabbing the gun
Then he hits the guy in the face as soon as he pulls his points back, then you see the bullet go out from the guy
Who's pulling the trigger? I mean it goes so fast, you know, so and this guy you have a whole bunch of those
There in Israel, you know the Mossad. I mean these guys are high level
Guys, they're updating. It's constantly renewing. It's not a system like karate or any other sport that you say, you know
You know, that was the only one that was evolving the whole time because he knew it was gonna evolve
And that's the same with Krav Maga, you know in the beginning, you know, you
You if it was a certain defense for a gun or you can't do it anymore because if you do it this way
There was a guy who broke his finger and then his finger wrapped around you couldn't take the gun away
You know, I go who come who finds that out?
Well, they find that out in real life and then they adjust they make it better
They make sure that won't have never happened again. Yeah, but it happened only once. Yeah
Well could be a life one time, right? So that's the great thing about Krav Maga now
Of course, there's bad schools out there as well, you know, people ask me all the time about Krav Maga
I said just Google, you know Google and reviews read reviews, but um, you know Krav Maga worldwide that seems to me
Isn't it's a really good where they're on the Olympic Boulevard, right?
I know some way down there. I was used to pass them on my way home
The way I send you I think a couple weeks ago when you were stuck in Santa Monica
That was it's right there on Olympic right before the 405. Yeah, but what I wanted to ask you boss or
Like I was watching your highlights and I was
Amazed at all the kicks like, you know, you just don't really see that that much now and as we saw last night with cowboy
but like
Why do you think more people don't you like?
Why do you think it's such an amazing tool for you that more people aren't using because you know?
I don't really think you see that many kicks, you know
It was it's first of all your legs are longer than your arms
So, you know, I know the guy's a good striker. I'm a better kicker, you know
So then I just keep him away with my legs
The thing is though, you need to be
Powerful, you know, I did the thing here me say for the last eight or nine years on inside of a maze single kicks
never throw a single kick and
Every we get highlights from around the world
Every single week for 433 shows we did that people get knocked out because they throw a single kick
You know because it's easy to stop and to counter right away. So don't do that set it up with punches
Unless you can kick really freaking hard like a miracle crow cup or like a Jose Aldo
When you kick somebody really hard to the head you force them to defend with everything he's got and that will buy you a
Little bit of time so you can get out of the way for the counter
But if you just throw a kick out that inside low kick if they stand in one line like the blading position
Which is still till this they can understand they do it in a mixed martial arts even in the time boxing
I don't get it and in boxing. I mean, I always looked at Mike Tyson, but if they stand in that one blading
Line they there's no way they can generate power with their inside low kicks
So I said, why why would you even bother of moving away from that Loki the guy's gonna hurt your skin?
That's about it. He's gonna stretch his leg take the kick knock him out
I mean, it's as easy as that but people all the time you need to block these cakes, you know, I was some that was with
George and Pierre
Oh man Jake shields Jake shields and George and Pierre Jake was throwing the inside low kicks
But they have absolutely no power on him and George every time when he threw him
He jumped back like he let him miss like it then we're gonna decapitate his leg
I go just take take the kick take the kick
You know traded for a right straight cross you take the kick by moving into it, which hey look at this
I automatically load up, you know anything you have to do stretch your arm you can rotate your helper, but you get even more power
So that's the thing with kicks if you can't kick hard if you can use your legs
Well, you know and you have a guy who's better with his hands
I would say use kicks keep him away from you and then that's the thing that I noticed is
You know the only knockouts that you really see
With punches are like people getting knocked out or maybe sometimes it's like they're like they're not protecting themselves
And then the ref stops it a couple times in recent memory and on yours
They think they're just so hurt that they just stop like the fight stops
They're not knocked out, but when you get kicked in the stomach, they just are in such pain
That's crazy, you know my everybody's asking me because I'm known for body shots for the left to to the body or left kick left knee
I mean, I knocked a lot of guys out with that
But the the way I became a lover of that is my first thigh boxing class I got knocked out by it
You know, I was a badass karate ka
You know black belt came in tore my whole gym up and then I went to Thai boxing and I thought that you know
I was a badass, but against the professional Thai boxer turned out
I was not, you know and he started my hands were low because of the karate was not allowed to punch to the head
So your hands are not next to your jaw
So what happens is as soon as they hit your head
You're gonna have to over commit to the defending because you're further away from your face
So you have to throw it up with with a panic reaction. So to say but if you do that
Yeah, automatically expose your body and of course this guy being the professional knew that I need dropped me right away
Man, it was the worst thing ever being on my knee never experienced anything like that
But that was okay. I gotta notice, you know, it's cool. I've always I didn't know this
When I got older, no, no, no, no when I was young I knew this Cuban guy defected
They used to go to my mom's bar. He drove like a car or something
Wasn't a big drinker and one day he talked to me but he spoke to me about boxing as a science
Yeah, you know, he he was a science
Years later, I read something from Bill Wallace superfoot
Mm-hmm. Hello, and he was talking and I read this article about Bill in black belt
Maybe like in 70s when Bruce Lee up, you know after Bruce Lee died
There was this big phenomenon in this country and he spoke about it like a science and there really is
There really is a science to kicking and punching. You know when you go to karate. I
Went to go to karate, you know Rashad. Yeah, what's it not Rashad?
Rassad
He's black. Yeah. Yeah, that was my first karate teacher when I came from Cuba
Oh, really? Tell me it's not a small fucking world. That is the craziest thing ever
I got beat up a central park. I got stitches two days later. I want to show it up
It was an all-black school black ghee fist. Yeah, everybody was black. He'd make you run the streets
Barefoot with the Gion or you had a run by the park where you hung in front of as bad as the next day
When you went to school those guys were like, oh, you're karate man shows when you got your shit
So I went to all those little tournaments and you learned this karate, but you never spoke about range
No, you never spoke on anything then I got into whatever I got into I quit when I was 15
And then when I got into comedy, I always knew that if I trained in a martial art
It would help my comedy. So I got into a tank pseudo the Subak though. Mm-hmm bolder
That's what there was at the time
And it was a lot of kicks
And I enjoyed it. I did it for about three years moved out here didn't do dick got back into Subak though
That was I moved to the valley when I was fucked. So I went over here. I never kickboxed
They said over here. There's a bunch of great little old schools around here. There's one
Place of America and I stayed there for about six months until I got knee surgery and I learned a world
Like he spoke about things I had never heard in karate
Yep, but the guy who really put me over the top when I lived in Hollywood. I go over there twice a week black dude
Earl
Him and his brother had studied from those the father son team
That they they're from Hawaii Japanese Hawaiian dudes. The son is the host of Iron Chef. Oh
Wait, yes mark is one the cascus. Yeah, yeah, the cascus
His father had a school in Denver. Now here. I am living in Boulder. I
Was a criminal in Boulder, you know, and I got locked up then I came out and got married
So I stayed there for a while and then I started training and those guys would always talk about these two black dudes from Denver
And I never looked into it. You know, there was no computer
There was the yellow pages. They were gonna tell you black dudes from Denver. Yeah, it's not the name of the karate school
You know saying
What's the dude's name? I don't know. It's two black dudes from Denver. So how funny is that?
Those two black dudes from Denver have a school over a month
And when I found out I used to go over down Tuesday when I was 418 pounds you were 418 pounds
I did the longest yard. Oh man. I was 3
90 I did the longest yard 380 Wow
And that was probably August not the longest yard. I kept those habits
pastrami sandwiches
You know saying yeah, well, okay. Well, how what age was that what no one what age did you start?
Are you getting that big that I mean the four of us here?
When I graduated high school, I was 197 and then
For about five ten years when I got locked up. I was at 218. Oh, well, 215 to 8 so the food was good there
No, no, no, no, you know what I stated what I'm saying to you is I graduated 82
by the time I
Kept lifting lifting lifting lifting
And I started when I moved to Colorado started squatting. I never squatted before I always lifted and did like
Like presses but when I moved to Colorado my roommates had gone to Brown. They were all power lifters
They were eating D ball and fucking Hannibal and shooting fucking gorilla juicers shit
But I don't like needles. I would faint. I was and I always said what's the use?
Yeah, so they taught me how to deadlift how to squat and that's when I really got I didn't know nothing about that world
Nothing they had built all the machines downstairs. They were like no dead bent over rose
We don't do curls here. We don't know that shit. Yeah, we do cleans presses
Squats and deadlifts. That's how they measure each other. So who's the guy? What are you bad? What are you bad?
No, they wouldn't even bench
They did a lot of isometrics one thing they did in those days that
We did isometrics before and a ton afterward, but they always believed that coach was Ira Wolf
It was my high school coach who coached in the Olympics in 76. My guy was legit
Yeah, we'll do that went from he would he was amazing in high school. He would go from D ball
To HIV
It is so bad for you to it's it's
Stupid
So that's where I got a little I went up to about 220 to 18 and I stayed up dad
And I got locked up and I went to 235, but I was hit the bag. I was fucking running
I was I got into swimming before I got locked up. I got into swimming. Okay. I joined the master swimming program
Two classes 5 a.m. Was 6 a.m. Oh, I thought that was it. No, they don't fuck around dog
The chick was a triathlete from Hawaii and she was Hawaii
So half the year she would train in Boulder for the altitude and because they love the Sun. Yeah, what the fuck Hawaii got a lot of Sun too
Yeah, yeah, she would go down there and train ocean
So she used to those six months. She was in Boulder dog. It would snow
Okay, and the winter because it was outside. Oh, yeah, it would snow to free the snow
They would shovel a path from the dressing room to the pool
The pool would just be steaming and it's still be 90 motherfuckers in there
90 motherfuckers in there. There'd be 10 lanes
Five people are fucking laying and five waiting to jump in because there's a class at six
Wow, but she put you through hell, you know, she did a oh swimming is good to a ball between your legs do
20 pulley yeah, and then come back and put the fucking carry the thing and then do 20 laps a kick and then put it all together
Then come back take a minute rest and do 440s back and forth 18 to I could you know, yeah, it was a man when I walked in there
Boss you tell me so watch you swim the first time I started swimming and I woke up and I hit the wall
I say, okay, we got to start slow with you
For a week. She made me just go like this and kick against the wall. Yeah, and she goes
I'm not gonna let you in the class until you could
Shoot all the way up. She taught me the exact science of the leg and why it should be like that
Sometimes I jump in a pool and I'm swimming first two minutes
I know I'm fucking up and then all comes back to be awesome
I increase my swim and I could see how I'm digging still you I see you do that now
You know those moves, but it is I somebody told me that as well
I had no clue, but it's so much technique
Everything is technique, you know what after a certain age you realize everything is technique
I was on Joe's podcast not this time at the time before don't about pitching
People who have the ability to pitch and I learned this at a young age. I used to go to Joe Nameth football camp
When Joe Nameth was in the height of being Joe Nameth. He had a football camp in New York
So I learned to be a quarterback. No, but you always learn one thing and those bars ruin. They would joke
They how brilliant he was
When you walk into Joe Nameth's camp, there was a bunch of white dudes. Hey, how you doing? Yeah, great to be here
You're like, where's Joe and they like where's Joe and they're like, oh, it's the way give us 15 minutes
Also, they'd line you up boss routine. Yeah, you're here. Lisa. Yeah, here. Joe Diaz here and then Joe Nameth will come out
And he give a speech what you expect from me the whole week
But the first thing they did and I never followed this two years later was they make you go to your room
Put shorts on a t-shirt and everybody got tests for the 40. Yeah
Whether you were a lineman a punter
He was I want to show you guys something and he would test you on the 40 and then after that they wrote it down
Everybody got on the line and the guy would work with you. I mean from A to Z boom boom
Boom your step your neck your breathing your shoulders how they should move. He did that for five days straight
For those next five days Monday through Friday from 738. That's all you worked on
He called it sprint movement
19 fucking 78 for you. Oh, we came up with that. Yeah, and he called it sprint movement
He broke down the sprint the movement of the elbow how high the elbow should go up
How high the elbow should go? Yeah, remember this in the eighth grade. Yes, the knee the the body
When should it pull back that your thing is like a sail? I mean, I can't you know, I'm a fat fuck now
I ain't running on 40s
But by the end of the week you made your own the 40 and you were you would go what happened?
Yep, your time would go crazy. Did you get fast to know?
He taught you technique and he taught you efficiency. Yep, and the same is
With everything that's the same with everything. Yeah, everything always get the pro right away, man
If you go if you want to learn so in front of mind always does the same thing you need it to
With the high he called a yo-yo
There was his party as an actor hold McKellen. He's got this new show on Netflix now
It's gonna come out mind hunter with them
What's his name Fincher David Fincher? Really? Yeah, he's doing this show 10 million dollars an episode
Hey, he's the lead guy of the actor
but anyway, he had to do this
Yo-yo thing and he just hired right away the world champion yo-yo and
You should see him within four weeks the things that he was doing and I guarantee you if you go just do a regular
Joe he's not but if you have the guy who knows how to tap into you and to say no no no
This is the reason why you do it. That's why I like enjoy teaching so much
I always go back to the basics and people this yeah, but it's always the basics and
This example I use many times
I had a guy in my class who stopped me after the class. He said boss, you know, what's funny
I say, yeah, let tell me and he said this
You're doing we've been doing the same stuff for like three years in a row as long as I've been here
I go. Yeah, I say, you know, what's even more funny and he goes. No, I say you're still not doing it correctly
And he looked at me I go
That's why we have to do it because everybody forgets the basics
But once I go into my spiel where the power comes from and I show you
Why why it comes from there it blows you and you go like right away
Why did nobody ever told me that before you know, but it's just thinking about it
Finding a way to tap in and if you you know with that swimming you guys didn't even run probably right you just did the technique
With the technique technique with technique you see and that already made you better
And he at the end of the week everybody left there. I remember being on the bus home with four of us
Me Chucky McBreen and his brother and we go how?
That's amazing that we went in there 4.9. Oh the fuck knew what it was then and all of a sudden you're 4.75 or something
You're like what's that what happened? Yeah, he taught you how to run and I remember going back the next year
I beat it again. I beat the record before
Because he gave you homework to do we those do three of the you know, it's just really so at pitching
It's the same thing if I pitch right now and it's 32 miles an hour
Once I go to the pitching guys and we go hold on let's do these exercises real quick warm up the eye
Loosen the tendon you have a tendon back here that is not loose
Yeah, it takes 10 miles an hour off your thing meanwhile
You're sitting there like fucking what happened to my arm and also they'll go with the technique again
And how it should come up over your ear and all that stuff and that's where you get your power from but the power still comes from the hip
Yeah, that's what we're talking about. That's the show, you know, and then it's this hip. Yep
Yeah, the opposite hip. It's the opposite hip for baseball. How fucking crazy is that because you're throwing it back
Yeah, so I'm here and I have to lift. Yeah, unless you saw our man Louis T. Hunt
Over there in Boston. He turned his whole fucking body around. Yeah, you know, that's
Bert Blinley, you know that guy Bert Blinley. Yeah, he's Dutch. He's a he's a Dutch pitcher here
He's he did very well. Yes, very well. Yeah, I heard he's in the Hall of Fame. So yeah, that's cool
I they had this five years ago and I felt so horrible about everything they they
The the best
male athletes from the Netherlands
They put me a number two and I go like there's no way like this soccer players your one cry
Everybody was behind me like a gold medalist, you know, I felt so horrible. But Bear Blylaver. He's the pitcher
He was the number one guy apparently had an unbelievable career. Yeah, we don't have in on we don't have that
We might be have three clubs
Baseball, yeah, maybe now more but it's never been big in on now. I'm gonna ask you simple questions
But I just don't fucking know that I want to ask you in Holland. Why is it?
Well, so well known for the kickboxing there. I never knew these things
I've just heard a little and you got to make believe like, you know, oh, really?
Why is it because we just had guys
It started with young plus young plus was from Menghou gym had Rob came and all these guys at the time
You know, well go Billy. I mean they had a team which was an unbelievable team
They would go to Thailand and they beat the ties and everybody how is this possible what they did?
They tied the hands together with the legs the ties at that time and still now a lot, you know, they
Mostly kick each other back and forth back and forth back and forth now since that whole thing started happening
I rub on Decker's once he started going to Thailand just destroying people
It was because he has great hands and legs and he tied him together
Samart the one of the famous most famous guys ever right in Thailand. He was also a WBO boxing guy
He had that also he had the hands and the legs together. So we grew up with that
We I remember a show we had with the Rob came and I was a big Rob came a fan still is a good friend of me now of mine
But we had to show there were four world title fights in Holland that they broadcasted life to Thailand
We fought four world champions in Thailand. They all got knocked out at night in Holland
I mean that never happened again. They never wanted to repeat it for some reason the Dutch really like they're striking
But you know with us you have soccer skating, but you know after that's probably time boxing
I mean every week there's fights everywhere. So people just enjoy punching kicking I guess
So that's I thought that you gonna tell me well, no back in the Viking days. It was his Viking name raw
No, no, no, no, I take a sailboat broke his ex and then
I love all that type of stuff, you know type of like in you know, this guy went and developed it now
You said something before you said something about a lower leg kick. Is it a lower leg kick and a higher leg kick?
No, no, no, just a low kick, but you know some people what they do nowadays. They kick also below the knee
You know, which is you know could be dangerous if it like Francis my sign of the calf
Yeah, because there's the tibula. You have the fibula the tibula the tibula is a little thin bone
I might flip it around right now. But anyway, that bone can be broken. You know, I think pit bull frary
You know, he against Benson Henderson when he got kicked there. He broke that bone. Okay, that's and fighters over now
My stance is a different stance like I'm standing right in front of you
So if I lift my leg if you kick me a low kick, you're gonna get my shin
You need but if I blade if I stand in one line with both feet
Yeah, then they got a nice little cushion there, which is your calf
They can kick around another great thing for that is of course balance if you kick lower on the leg
Of course, you're gonna move this guy, you know, so like you see John Jones also using it, you know
It's all very smart
You know, you bring your opponent off balance and if he's off balance, he can't counter he might counter
But now with a strong punch so you can capitalize on that. I always start that
You know, I'm paper. I don't even think I'm fucking crazy. I'm paper
I thought the old-school Kempo guys were really good at that
Of going in but before attacking the body. They would throw a leg kick a very
Inside kind of woven explosion leg kick to throw your attention off and then get you 15 fucking times
Nobody really does that. No, there's not a lot of
Great, there's a lot of good strikers, but great ones it there. There's still hard to find but you know, it's like anything else
You know yesterday, uh, Charlo and was it Molina if
Was it them? No, no, no, there was a different way. Anyway, there was a boxer there also Molina
I know his name is Molina, but you know, he was very wild to me. He was very wild
So there's always differences and just in anything some guys are just they win because they have a lot of heart
They could take a lot of punches a lot of shots and they have great stamina and they're very hard to beat
You know, but when you see them, they're not as technical as other guys
And then you have other guys like an uh, lo machenko. I don't know if you saw him three weeks ago box
No, dude, he's probably the best boxer out there right now pound for pound
I barely have enough time for fucking the UFC, you know
I caught half a fight a Bellatoria and I almost jumped out the window because I don't know when the fuck Bellator's on
Yep, Bellator is like, uh
Like uh, remember the other
We've interrupted your television
That's Bellator to me. I never see fucking Bellator people always say he wants Bellator last night. When is it on?
Friday, saturdays, I don't know. So I barely got time for the UFC
What was today sunday? Well, how much football that was today stomach? Yeah, that's how much
Yeah, but we don't have time for that anymore. It's just like I haven't for 50 20 years to get serious you
Yeah, you're gonna have to give up something to give some things up. So yeah boxing. I grew up on duran and
uh, bonito
Afraid of bonitas and all those guys, you know, I'm in prior, you know
Life happens and you lose then I got back into it when Tyson
You know, I lived with a coke dealer the night Tyson locked out the guy with no teeth, brother
Leon springs his brother
Oh, yeah, we were all pissed off because it was going to go 15 rounds like a robin steal some more rocks
They went fucking 10 seconds
There I was I was done
Leon I met Leon in the ukraine a good guy very funny. Yeah, everybody says really funny. Yeah, funny
Yeah, you almost can't understand what he says. They said, you know, if he's drunk, it's actually is your friend. Hey, what are you doing?
Yeah, it's like almost like
James Brown
Like everything he said
But uh, that's you know, you it's not that you lose interest. It's just your computer has so much fucking
What's that one people? What's the term?
Yeah, your hard drive
You gotta say it in english because apparently that works for apple if it's english action that's smarter
Your hard drive only has so much space
And it's there and you remember it, but it's not really fucking active. You're trying to pay a house
You got a child. You got a career. You're working on you got a right joke. You're trying to write this you're trying to write that
so
I love sports. It's just
Wonderful, you know, I forgot the UFC was even on last night. You know, I did uh, I just started with with morrow, right?
We have the rudder of an yellow show, but we just started like this is number five
We had yesterday
We is the combat sports carousel. So we talk about all the fights this weekend and then by the fights coming up
and then you realize
How much work it is? I mean, I have to watch all these fights
I have to break down all the fights from next week like this week
There were three boxing shows on and then you have the ufc on friday the ufc on saturday
There's bellator and there was glory kickboxing and we talk about everything
So i'm gonna you know your family life in the weekend. That's a very hard thing because you're gonna have to watch
You have to watch the fights otherwise you can't talk about it. I can't sit there for that long my back
I gotta move the great thing is, you know, once you record everything you can fast forward
Through the openings and all that stuff. I got 45 minutes of me. I got like 45 minutes of me now
Yeah, I gotta get up and walk around and like watch something else again
I gotta lay on my stomach for a while. I can't no more those days, bro
What you need what you need is, you know, and and I have no clue why we don't see them as much anymore
But I had one of those glasses when I went to japan even there was like around 2003 glasses that you hook into your
Player and then you can you you watch tv
It's like you have this giant screen in front of you because it's against your eyes and you can just watch tv
So then you can watch it everywhere now with netflix on your phone
You can you can sit somewhere at the doctor's office. You put the shades on and you can watch no fucking glasses on the right bus room
Hey, listen, you can watch anything you want the last thing
Did you see what report that came out with thursday on world news tonight?
Lazy people are gonna fucking die. Yeah, but don't drive a car. I'm just lazy people are gonna fucking die
Oh, yeah, of course binge watching you're gonna die. They were saying that you're gonna die young fucking age
It's bad for you. I always believe that shit's bad for you
You don't want the least glad I don't want to watch dick if I gotta put glasses on and connect it to my phone
That's why I don't smoke
What's that shit they smoke with the stone? I gotta get a blow torch at the house dabs
That's too much commitment
That's a little too much commitment. You know what I'm saying rolling papers weed the lighter. I'm in a pipe
Once I got to bring a blow torch in to do something for my
For my how does it work?
What do you mean? Is it like dabber like shatter or what? How does that do?
No, so chatter. How do you smoke shatter? You know, it depends what you have there you have these pens
Right, you have the dabber and you know, there's a little uh, little thing and you put a little dab of it
And then you
Okay, I can live with that. Yeah, that's an easy one. But that was a stone. I never heard of that
Right. There's a stone our friends that
Uh nailed it life nailed it life our brothers. I love those dudes
But whenever they show up they show up every dude. They don't even smoke weed no more
They they break out a stone and it's like a piece of wax paper
You think you're back in the 70s and you got fucking the old old old school cocas
Used to use wax papers and shit
And you know, it's like this fucking thing and they blow towards the thing and you put it on top of there
And then you have to hit it with a fucking straw
And hold it. Oh my too much work. What did we do?
You were there that night when your head almost blew up
When deseret was there we walked out of the improv. Yeah, how do we smoke it? How do we smoke it?
I thought that was just a regular dabbering with like they had like a little torch in the car
I've never this this one. I have never seen this this one sounds that was that was the one
Then it's so good that I forgot about it. Yeah that night we remember I didn't smoke and I went in there. I was trying not to smoke
The night come out they had dabs. I swear to god
About ruin. I thought I was gonna die
Speaking of dying this was the last star that oh my god. Are you serious? So it was a big week. You know what I'm saying
It's literally just started
I'll take a little piece off. It's 12 days. There's no way I can do this
It's 12 days till yonkipo. You know what I'm saying?
I got lisa
I would never that one's got a tail. That's how much I love you lisa. What's what's tony better?
Don't make believe like you don't know what I'm talking about
Oh, yeah
I
Want to be around
To pick up the pieces
When somebody breaks your heart
Some somebody twice as smart
As I
He's about to puke you see this face. Oh, yeah, we have like what 12 stars gives a fuck. It's the lords day track
I couldn't do that. I can't travel
I'm like
I don't you can't spell my name
Perfect. Yeah, perfect. That's how you want to travel anyway. Who wants to listen traveling and being
I can't fall asleep on a plane because I have to sleep at me
But on jet blue mint
Yeah, I could plug that bitch in. Yeah, put my little gas mask on and shit. Yeah, I believe I'm in Auschwitz
Yeah, oh, I love the thing your cpap, right? It's the best thing ever, right?
I have one too. I mean I you being on a plane. Yeah, I'll bring it
Yeah, no, but I don't do use it on the plane because if I set up straight
I won't snore. I don't have that problem. But man, it's I sleep much better. You got all the air
I love it. I almost can't sleep without it anymore. I love it because I know
When I spoke to Joe, he said talk to you, but I did it already
I don't want any no details about blood and show me no surgeries you have
you know, um, I had
Only two but but you know because I was I was just the first time when it broke
You know, you go to the doctor and then I put it back and but I know a big surgery was only once actually
because they really crunched my nose
And and then the I was sitting standing in front of the mirror
I'm putting it back because this is before I'm teaching a class to these kids in Holland
And this guy comes and he says what's going on with you know, I say, I'll broke it
I just push it back because what the doctor's gonna do anyway
He says well, if you want I can change it for you. We'll never break again
And I go what do you mean? He said well, I'm a surgeon. I do noses and everything you said that we can put so by no
See, it's a it's a plastic nose now. It's it's not plastic. It's a it's a different kind of stuff
But um, you know, I it can't break anymore
You know, it can break all the way on the top
But that will be that's a very hard thing to do, you know to break your nose
But since then I never broke my nose again. So it actually works. It's the craziest thing. You have no idea what's going on
Well, his face is getting rather rather by the minutes
He's looking at the numbers and they're turning into different things right now
He's making believe he's keeping it together, but he's breathing out of his nose
He's blowing out of his mouth now. Lee
And it's fair for me my little brother. Yes, sir. I have to do something that's gonna be very deep right now
Okay, I have to go pee but I have to go downstairs. That means those stairs coming up
I gotta be a motherfucker. So I might feel you know, I might be about five minutes. Okay
I'm the contemplating just taking my little humming out and peeing off the balcony, but I love my office. I can't disrespect
I'm saying professionals don't disrespect
Don't get me wrong. I'm taking my credit card. I'm gonna see if I still have my burglary skills
I can break into this bathroom
If not, I gotta walk down to the first floor keep
Boss route and occupy these got questions for you. I do. Okay. Okay. Give me some questions. All right, sweet. Let's do this
You hope you wrote it down because I did I'm still working up there now. No, it's not working
It's so funny being there done that this is yeah, this is no
I've been doing it for years with him. It's actually okay. All right
Did you ever have an issue making weight?
The greatest thing with me is I uh, uh, we had no weight less when I was fighting
So I I'm actually the first UFC heavyweight champion
Right that title and it was because there were no weight classes and once they decided that that was in 1999
It was a four-man tournament and it was going to be 200 pounds and under and 200 pounds and over
Oh, I actually for the title fight was 197. So I had to gain weight
I had to drink waters at the weigh-in to go over 200 pounds
Otherwise, it wouldn't be a title fight
And but that was it. So I never had that problem if I would fight now
I would probably fight maybe 205 or maybe what 85 I think
That's an easy cut for me. I mean, I'm working around 210
So I'm working around like I always been my entire fighting career
Is that what you recommend because it's it seems like there's been a lot more recently
uh, uh instances of fighters missing weight that I haven't seen in the last couple years and so
So my questions don't really work anymore. But what I was going to say is like
What do you think it as a fighter, what do you how do you how do you how do you respond?
How would you think you would respond if you were told your opponent missed weight like I'm
I was almost I was kind of surprised that max hallway didn't put up more of a stink
It didn't seem like it like that three pounds. I don't know how much of it
It doesn't make any difference. It's not a difference. You know, well, you know what how I would deal with it
It's it's it's a better way to go mental on the guy and with that means
If somebody for instance will be three pounds over, you know, uh, I would say, yeah, keep it. You're gonna need to do it
I'm uh, I try and really freaking out. Keep you three pounds. Don't worry about losing them
I think to me that comes over. It's way more intimidating. First of all, then when I say
No, no, I want him to go back in the uh in the sun right now
I want him to lose the three pounds to me that it seems like you're scared right and max hallway
Somebody who's absolutely not scared. No, I mean, we had him on a show and it's like McGregor, you know
It's it's 100%
Convinced he's going to beat everybody and and and he's doing it. So that's why because he's such a bad ass
He didn't care that's that I wanted that is I I forgot to write it down
uh, but that I wanted to talk to you about his confidence because
You know, he he opens up his post fight interview talking about hosay waldo, which I think is a hysterical
but be
like just to go to have that kind of balls and I'm
We've we've discussed for the length of the show how I'm not that kind of person
And I kind of like I want to know what what makes a person have that much confidence
Like is it just something that people are born with or it's just crazy to me to have
That much confidence. No, it's it's it's not overthinking things. Uh, that's the whole thing with everybody
If you're nervous, you're overthinking things. It's if you, you know, it's all in the head
And if you say, okay, I always tell my students if you can fight
In the fight like you're doing in the dojo like you're sparring
Yeah, you got 90 for sure. You're gonna win this fight, you know, but
Doing it under pressure. It's a whole different ball game suddenly. So so, you know for him
He he performs the same in the in the in the gym as she does when he's fighting
He knows that so he knows he fights at his best abilities
And then he knows, you know, if you let doubt going into your mind, it's like when they asked me, um
What oh you a federal millionaire go both in your prime. Who would win? I go, I I would win
Yeah, how would you win? I said, I'll beat him up and he go
Well, that's that's a big claim. I said, well, you want me to say you want me to say? Yeah, you know what? Yeah, that's
That's a big chance that you can knock me out. You know, I think as a fighter
You can never think that you should
To yourself, you should be true. You said, no, I'm not gonna lose this fight. Whatever happens
I'm pretty sure he's gonna say the same thing to me back
Having doubt in the mind, you know, if you plan to see just before that before the fight that you you say to somebody
Yeah, you know what? I uh, yeah, I might lose because he has a really hard right straight
You're probably gonna get hit with the right straight punch. That's that's how it goes
I think as a fighter and any athlete, you know, the example I always use like Kobe Bryant
You know, let's say he's standing for he has to shoot one goal
And if he hits the goal, then his team wins
It's the last move of the of the whole game and if he misses the team loses
That's a lot of pressure and he can score that thing a thousand times
But with all the pressure, you know, now suddenly you get affected now
He's one of those guys also who can put it to the side and then just scores
it's uh, you always
When we were young, we always heard people
R. A. to now say, you know, what I could do with what I know now. Oh, yeah, you know
All the different situations I was in that I could uh
Done a lot better with my mind. Yeah, you know by control that you look at down go. What the fuck
Was I thinking? Yeah, where was my control or whatever? And uh, it's even how I look at jujitsu now the first three years of jujitsu
I started over here, but then I couldn't go at night no more
And then they only had two classes during the week
So if I had an audition on tuesday, I wouldn't go the whole week because I leave on thursdays to go on the road
So it kind of sucked on me. So I was like, well, I gotta figure something out
So I started going down to higgins
On mondays and wednesdays. I saw him yesterday. Actually two days ago. Great guy. Yeah, good guy. Great guy
Just it was a small class in the daytime his action is at night
So again, I was going one week. I was I would go twice one week and then I wouldn't go for a whole week as I was on the road
It wasn't consistent. I started going over here again
But they didn't want to do a daytime class. It was just a holiday. So they were like, you know
Coming on mondays and wednesdays and fuck around
And I was getting into it and the guys like listen after this week. We're not gonna do it no more
And one night I went to do comedy at flappers
And I saw alberto crane school and I go, you know what I'm gonna walk in there
And at first I was scared
Then I went on the schedule and I saw and I went in there january 4th and I'm still fucking there
It's gonna be a year next month
And you know what I go twice a week if I'm in town
three times if
If I'm in town I go three times a week if I have to travel I go twice
Yeah, and I don't go in there to choke people out, but the whole problem I've had is okay
So you go in there and you go through baby steps and you know, you'll wait in your age and blah blah blah
But the real problem was I couldn't breathe so I had to no surgery
And that gave me a little bit more but what I really needed to do is how to breathe again
Yeah, so I read dr. Belize's book. She came into the podcast and she contacted you
No, I think you and her would make a very insightful team. Oh, that would be great because when I
discovered
I
Didn't
The inspiratory muscle trainer of the old to trade a little fucked up right now. I don't have my glasses on
Inspiratory, you don't want me to tell you what I saw
You don't want me to tell you what I saw. So the sound completely different and you were talking about
the
Boom, we'll be talking about before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're you're you're oh, what did we say?
Diaphragm diaphragm. It's a diaphragm the intercoastal muscles everything. It's so funny that she gave me exercise and that was the main thing
You know when I went in there, I could hold my breath for fucking 20 seconds
That's embarrassing. Yeah, let's let me explain some to you boss
For me, I know listen. I smoked fucking weed since I was 13
I smoked crack for about six or seven months. Then I quit. I went to a past so I couldn't find no crack
So I just went back to snort and everybody was happy. You understand me?
I said fucking I smoked crack out of a can. What do you think my lung looks like?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Because my wife didn't know I was smoking cracks. You thought I was smoking cigarettes and reefer
But I would make believe I was drinking so that I crushed up the can and put holes in it
And just put the cracker moon down and light that mother fuck up like I own the living room and shit
Lee, do you know my wife said to me? We were talking the other
This producer whatever the fuck he was right or we were telling his writer
At starbucks, what the fuck we were Marie T and my wife is telling them she goes
I remember a time with the sleep apnea at first
I had sleep apnea. I was 400 pounds
I was doing a grandma blow every night
Right, well, and then whatever you would give me like if you've had anxiety pills
I would try whatever I was like Mikey. You don't know me. You didn't grow up in the 70s. It was like commercials here for
What's the night cereal?
The shittiest cereal out there
The taste like ass
And they would even go this isn't for us
Raisin brand no, no, no, it's even worse. I like raisin brand when you go to prison
You like you got a certain urge for raisin brand
I'd say you like fruit loops before you go to prison and she like I won't eat raisin brand go to prison, bitch
You'll like the raisin brand real quick
Then you like to pick the raisins for later and just eat the brand
You know I'm saying and then you lay around at night when everybody else is eating their fingernails
You got a bag of raisins. You want a dollar 50? There you go the cigarette
Cigarette
Not me. I didn't smoke in the joint. I'm just saying that
Uh, that's what they're going. You know everything's a cigarette tacked on to it. Yeah, man
You gave me up for a cigarette too. You want to eat bitch? So there's like money there cigarettes, huh?
Cigarettes are like money cigarettes of money. Yeah gambling things, you know, so for cigarettes. Yeah, let me get that t-shirt
Let me get a hundred cigarettes
Wow, it's a currency in a way. Yeah, even if you don't smoke. Yeah
Even if boss don't smoke. No, it doesn't matter because I you know, don't get high of your own supply, right?
I would have to have to rule. I would have Tony Montana and my fucking
In my little stash in prison. I had like two cases at Marlboro
And something else at Marlboro lights or something
And they would go for top dollar, but I would cut great deals with a pack of cigarettes. I owned you for the month
Yeah, you know what I mean? I owned you for the month. Don't worry about the book
Was like name brand worth more like if you got a more bro, was it worth more than like a handmade cigarette?
You know
like I said, it was
Boss when we first got in here, we're talking about criminals, you know, we're talking about his friend god breasted so
And it really
Turned me about boss because
You know, I always thought boss is a law-abiding guy
But but which he is but by him telling me this he lets me know he has a heart
He understands that mind, you know, you grew up around fighting you grew up
You not that you grew up, uh, you fought in japan where they're fucking just the yakuza is the best in the world
Some people don't like that element at least for you to say he was your friend. So we're gonna let yak
Let's fucking yak. You know, it's funny when
I got locked up
When I went to my final destination
It was like I had been there before like I felt right, but it took me like three days
To get into the swing, you know, it took me like three days to talk and a couple new yorkers to say hello to you
There was no cubans
But a couple mexican guys talked to me one guy from new york was very nice
But there was one guy from philly
That was particularly nice to me, you know, big motherfucker
tats
good-looking dude, you know
white
kind of reddish hair
Had a weird look to him. I could tell he was a junky maybe at one time, but now he was lifting weights and stuff
Just spoke from the heart and there was another fat italian dude in there
That you look at him two minutes, you know, this guy's in there for extortion or something. Yeah, he was in there for something
But nobody fucked with him. It was just like good fellas
He had his own little hut and then there he had a set up in the half like a kitchen
Like he had no roommates
I just thought about that right now. My buddy. I was talking about same thing. He had a fridge in his room
He called me from his room with a cell phone. Oh, no, I have more heating right now. He told this is 1980
There was no cell phones. We had a pay phone that you don't have to put quarters in that type of shit at that time
One of the guys figured out a way how you to make calls
With no change again. You had to go to him and go dog. Yep. My mother's dying in the hospital
Let me make a call. It's gonna cost you motherfucker. Come on. Don't do me like that five secrets
No, because it's an endless call
It's unlimited. You know what I'm saying? You're gonna be on there crying and then they start fucking me. I'll give you
10 minutes and shit
We get 50 50 cigarettes
But he had the corner pay phone that he would put in those days
He had there was four pay phone
Right in front of the administration building so they could watch you and the bell would go off. You had 20 minutes
That's it and the bell would go off
He even had a beat that it could go 40 minutes
Oh, wow or 60 minutes
So you can talk to your friend in Italy for 60 minutes
But you would have to give him three cartons of cigarettes. Oh
Like that type of shit like but he knew some black kid figure there
But he could only do the corner phone. Yeah, that was the problem
Not all three of them because it would be tremendous. He'd be running the fucking place. Wow
It's funny how people come up with those things, right?
They're all there's always a way to break the rule or to to to still or to still escape
You know in jail and there's still it's still happening. I mean last week it happened again
All right, people break out. You go to how is it even possible on bed sheets? No time together and I go like
And you know that they're either gonna shoot you or
They're chasing you and the bad thing about
If we live in listen, man, I tell you what
I think being a kid just came to a fucking end
I saw a commercial and now you could tap the car
You could what tap the car just put a little thing in the car
Oh, yeah, they'll tell you the distance if it pops out who's got it
Excuse me where it is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
It's not gonna be fun to be a kid no more doesn't it tell you like uh, uh, in a word if they're speeding
Yeah, everything everything. Yeah, no, it's number two. You're cute. Listen. There's no
I couldn't have done half the shit I did 30 years ago today
Not even close because all my shit was walking around
There's cameras everywhere. Yep, and guess what boss if you don't think this is me and I'm a dumb fuck
I got a gd. Okay
if
They find the body right now
on Lancashire
And Magnolia Lee you're an intelligent guy you went to fucking school for four years
Let's pretend they find the body there
They find blood and there's evidence that it happened right there on that court. Okay. There's no possible way
That that body got transported stabbed somewhere else and dropped there to throw the authorities off because that's gonna start happening
Isn't any way I could go
You know, all right, give me all the cameras in the area. That's one thing. Give me all the security cameras
There's a starbucks where i'm talking about right there. You know i'm talking about
Magnolia right there magnolia and Lancashire
There's a starbucks. There's a big building bento box
Right, is that where that is lee? Yeah. Yeah, they have where the oscar does that thing the oscar's do that thing and they have that
Italian pizzeria on the corner
So I would get the camera from the italian pizzeria and the starbucks and where city sitting fucking burnt down your favorite place
Is the italian pizzeria you're talking about dominoes? No, yeah
Well, there's a dominoes there and then across the street
There's the place where the sangria is nine bucks and the pizza tastes like ass
But there's always outdoor seating
Yeah, pit fire and the only reason why you go there is because the fucking theater with that shitty theater upstairs
That's the only reason why they're there. It's a fucking nightmare that whole block across the street
There's a chicken place black place tremendous. There's always a line first off. They got four tables
Why do you have four fucking tables?
Let's go get a loan. Let's go get one of these black va loans and put 10 more fucking tables in here
There's always dirty people waiting. My wife went waiting online
$30 for six pieces of chicken and there was men's amore. They're gonna go to the Popeyes
Yeah, and there would have been a lot better. You've got a whistle and dirty rice and everybody was fucking happy
I never went to Popeyes
But the thing that really like they're telling I'm telling you about he was in there for some federal mafia thing
I never asked him. He never told me
I just asked one of the counselors and he told me
And but the funny thing is most people cook
To sell food in there he cooked for himself. He was the real deal. He did he did gambling sheets
And I became friend he kept watching me and I would get one sheet from him
And I would gamble with him and put the bets in
And then he'd go you wanted some nachos like oh nachos
Who has nachos in prison? He had nachos. Oh, well, and one of the best nachos I've ever had
He'd melt the cheese with the inside of an iron
You have an iron like this and you take over here out and it becomes a rod
And you take a piece of american cheese and you put that rod in the middle and you gotta leave it there for like eight hours
And then he would cut the chilies and the peppers
And he cut a bunch of shit and season it up and you go in there at four o'clock
He'd be staring at motherfucker for Monday night football
Oh, the whole place smells great. He was the king man. This guy had a pot
He made soups. There's no godfather. There's nobody with with the razor blades a good fellas
He wasn't cooking steaks in it
But there was this mexican dude that his mother would drop off
300 burritos
on sunday
And he would sell each one of them and I would buy 15
Green chili fucking burrito. How many cigarettes was that?
I would just blast him off cash
And I'd run him an errand once a week which meant
that
When I had my you have store privileges. This is a prison camp
So you had store privileges
If you had higher up numbers and you were just about to be released
You go to the store once a day for 20 minutes
At this time boss root. What do you think you're dealing with joy bananas?
First off, I did something nobody even thought oughta doing
There was a chinese restaurant right next to the fucking place
Did I gotta tell you something?
It wasn't that bad. It's like every other chinese restaurant outside new york
You just gotta get the right stuff on the menu. They make the right stuff
That stuff was low-main-pork
If you got dry noodles
With some mustard and shit
Damn, you were banging on monday night football
Same thing. I would get the chinese food
He would say what are you gonna do on monday?
Who's got all this on monday night? Nobody me
monday nights I would always got ice cream
and sodas
And I would take it to the hiv place the hiv place had a couple dudes in there
But the hiv place had the best television in the house
And had the best living conditions and all of them were in bedrooms coffins
So I would go there bring them ice cream and sodas and let me sit in their living room
And I got these other black dudes and this other white dude from cleland
And we count our fucking gambling money in there and nobody would say no nobody would say nothing to us
It was like a fucking movie, you know, it was a movie. Yeah, I'm fine here
You know, I was in charge of the stock room so I could hide shit for people
So boss ruten wants to hide the gloves. He's got two sets of gloves
He fights, you know, if people come in here and they want to fight
Boss ruten takes them in the back
Three dollars a ticket
Boss ruten throws me two dollars to hold the gloves once a month
So that's how it went and make my money
Guys like you would come to me and go hide this for me
Because it was a well-known fact that you could search everything else but the dogs never went
To the back stock stuff where the cans were. Yep
So I would hide gloves in there, you know, there was dudes that were just drinking steroids in there
Do you understand me?
And I knew all of them because they all stashed their shit on the pallets
Joey, please let me stash my shit on the pallets. They would put little packages
The syringes were up their assholes
Oh
I mean
This was crazy. That's the craziest thing and they had spare syringes, which they rented out
Or gave to you but for cigarettes or whatever they'd walk around with two syringes in their asshole
Listen, uh, this is a funny my buddy right today is an uh
A big
Fuck yeah, tushy happy tushy dot com
Dude, it's so it's so dangerous also to to to share start sharing deals especially in a place like that
But this guy he had like he was the steroid provider to all these bouncers and the casino
You have no idea. You have no fucking idea
But yeah, like the six syringe is ready, right all all filled up already and then these these these bodyguards
The the bouncers would come in one by one
And they would drop the pants you would throw them blue put pants up and it goes out
So this one guy walks in
Uh
Pretty big dude. He gave he gives him a shot. The guy passes out. Oh, no
What happened before also is that this was going to be the last guy he was going to inject
So he already put his own pants down
So he was going to do himself right after that and of course the guy drops
He catches the guy he stands behind the guy now the owner walks in and they're both standing there with the
Pants underneath. Oh
Yeah, try to explain that
Right. No, no, it's not what you think really. Okay. It really looks like it's what I'm thinking
Craziest steroid story that I lived with. He's a dear friend of mine. I haven't spoken to him in a few months
I gotta call him tomorrow
Uh, dear friend of mine since I was kids since we were kids
And you know, he went away to the army. He became the soldier of the I mean, you know
This kid was crazy. He came from the neighborhood
But he always had something boss. You can always tell when you're kids. There was something about him. He was very sweet
He went away to the army and then they had the big write-up about how he ended up going to the white house or Reagan and shit
You know, he saved three fucking dudes. Whatever the fuck the story was
And also I see him at the bar. He asked me if I want to do a blast
I thought you were in the army. Yeah, I got thrown out
You're the soldier of the year. They gave me a medal. Who knows? No
Dream on slay that
And his brother's listening to this podcast
the one
Well, anyway, one new year's they got into a fist fight and this kid bit my friend's hero
That both it's like if you bit Lee's hero right now. Yes, what happened?
Bit the bottom and how to stitch it up today. Everybody's friends and everybody's family
The fuck was I gonna tell you? What the fuck are we talking about? I gotta stop eating you talking about the guy
In the army. He got discharged from the army. You know, there was a fight going on with his
Brother or with his friend, you know bit the air off
But there was a fucking point here boss rooting. What was the reason?
Oh steroids. Oh, it was about steroids. We were up together and
There was a time when I used to buy guns in Colorado
Jump on a plane
Bring the guns to his house get off the plane and do it bring the this 1987 bring the guns to his house
He'd have a buyer for the guns
They give me that cash and I'd buy coke and then take the coke from him and take it back to colorado
Now i'm a fucking kid. I'm a fucking dummy. Okay, but I got balls of steel and i'm a dumb fuck
So this goes on so it was always a deal when I got off the plane
The plane landed at 11
I had to be back at the airport by 3
All I wanted was my cash coke and his mother had to make chicken colors
Because I lived in colorado
Nobody knew how to make Italian chicken culture the mashed potatoes and the cream corn
And the fucking cranberry juice. Nobody knows how to do this these fucking gentiles. I don't know how to do that shit
The one time this is like my fifth trip now. I grew up with these guys
Now I was bringing them nine millimeters every week brand new with the holster with the I mean
Like john furuk, you should have seen me right out of miami vice
I just show up and you'd have like three your fucking goomba friends of you
And I'd walk in the room take my winter jacket and go
And I'd have the whole holster
With the gun in it with the two miami vice clips
And the whole package would cost me six and a quarter and I'd bang them out for fucking 12
And then I'd buy the for uh
9800 you got 11 ounces
This is 1987
I'd take two out throw four in and bang them out at 1816 apiece
I was living like a doctor doing nothing. I could still snort my asshole because I wouldn't lose
I wouldn't lose. I just love the image
Because you couldn't fly with the holsters. Could you on your body?
No, they weren't my luggage. Yeah
I just love where would you go and put on the holsters for the for this presentation on the drive from the fucking car
You know what I'm saying? Listen, you can't sell a $10,000 product with a $10 person
You know what I'm saying drop that drop drop it on your lease. I got
so the one time
Like every week was a new adventure every time I went to the house and I loved them dearly until today. I love
Every week was a new adventure the one time I brought mushrooms
Fresh from colorado that we're killing motherfuckers
We put them on the table in the bedroom giglin and we hear potato chips
What the fuck is that noise we're going to in the living room his cousin
His little brother is eating the mushrooms. He thought they were frozen mushrooms. Oh
So that's one time this time I walk in
The best scenario ever
This time I walk in I'm like, where's D? He's in the bedroom. I go in there. He got a safe
On top of that safe. There was two tears. There was one tear that was just
filled
with little
D ball bottles vials. I mean in order
Like this was this is 1980 fucking I got knocked off an 80
This is way before 80s. This is
86 the whole bottom shelf
Was just one ounce vials of D ball
And what was the the one from Germany the one that fucking yoked you up like a motherfucker
Diana. No, Diana ball was just shootable
this was uh
Anibal no anibal rips you up. This was the one that fucking
From your wrist up
Like once you did it from your wrist up jack
Like growth hormone. No, no, it was a she was a pill
Oh, wow big in the 80s big in the 80s big in 82
Real big in 82. What was it those things that they gave to cows, right for the asthma or those that I think
crazy
Lee from here up the muscle would start here
Three months. You would get muscle here people go. What the fuck are you doing to your wrist? I'm doing push-ups and isometric
Don't make me smack in the fucking mouth. They're right. What do you think? I just fell off the banana. I grew 23 pounds
I walked in there
The bottom of the top rack was the juice the bottom rack was a couple packages of powder and cash
His pants are dropped
He's on the phone
The cord from the wall
Okay, he's got it like this
He's bent over about to do a line and his mom's about to shoot him with a fucking steroid
Oh
You can't write this in. No, nobody's gonna believe it. Yeah, bro. He called in we had him calling 10 times
He's one of my tight buddies. I gotta call tomorrow
I'm mad at him because he didn't show up to a gig and I saved that seat from like in a game with somebody else
as he bent over
He shot him
And he would do a line of cloak and she would shoot him at the same time when it puts her to the roots
That's taken it to the next level. That's it. That's 1986 North Bergen, New Jersey. Not my parents
No
Wow, then she ended up taking one of those guns and shooting at him one time. They missed his head
Okay. Oh, no, this was a real house. This was no drama house. This was no fucking abc
Blackish or back from the boat. Whatever that fucking chitie the brady
Good night, mom. Good night, son. Good night. They look all up and down everybody
That would be funny
You know, the brady bunch you see that screen with all the little screens and all of them are doing drugs
You know, we bought it. Paranoid and shit. They're all paranoid. You just
You just see little shades of shit
Look at boss root and cracking funnies. Oh, man
That's hilarious
You've had a very interesting career, man. Yeah, and it's funny just to answer lee another thing
You were talking about pancreas. I just recently watched like maybe one or two pancreas is
Were they a lot of wrestling in pancreas? I mean was that no, that's why you were throwing that many kicks
Yeah, no, you know, I always got taken down. Um, that's because yeah
But the thing was, you know, if that was the you know, I always enjoyed when I went the inducted to the Hall of Fame last year
They made these stats. Thank you. And and I didn't know any of my stats
I didn't know that I had a total time of four hours and 27 minutes
You know, they do all the stats of fight time four hours and 27
But another great stat was that I never attempted a single take down yet. I won 14 fights by submission
So I thought I was an a nice little thing
So that meant that they took me down and I was able then to overcome that but uh, yeah wrestling is never been my strongest point
It's it's a super important
Aspect of mixed martial arts always say it should be the one in the middle
You're either a really good wrestler and a striker or a really good ground guy and a wrestler
But for some reason in Holland it's very hard to find wrestling schools
It's not like you're in America that everybody does it
So I figured you know what I'm just going to focus on the ground and maybe
Maybe that even helped my ground game because I think if I would have been great at stopping takedowns
My ground game wouldn't have been
As good as I this right now because you know, I had no takedown defense. Listen before we proceed
You're a sweetheart of a guy
Plus that you could kill me with one fucking knuckle if I'm looking at you and I giggle
I am not high and you're not the devil. I am laughing at the fuck out behind you because
He is going you ever hear the song by Ozzy Osbourne black Sabbath. I'm going through changes
Yeah
That's me right now
He's really going through changes right now
Every time if I'm looking at you and I look off the side
It's not that I don't love you. It's that he's going through deep changes in the stand. He's thinking
I'm watching you evolve
Oh my god, you have no idea
He just had a little conversation himself for about four minutes about college and tuition
I watched the whole thing go down
Look at him and meanwhile you're talking to me and I'm like nobody
Can't believe this. How many stars?
We just went he just started throwing them at me. How many stars did you do?
We started with I think eight, but then we had the chocolate
I have no clue hiking today. Yeah, that's a lot. We did
I didn't get anxiety coming up the stairs
You see it relaxes you out. It's nice. Is that the fucking
Inspiratory muscle. Yep. Oh the trainer. I told you it's gonna help you. I saw you talking about like this has been listen
There are times I drive home and go, you know what because I'm like breathing. I'm gonna have to give up jiu-jitsu
It's embarrassing
And then I go home and I go fuck that noise
I'm going back to my own and then I'll do some hip escapes
And then I'll warm up that really helped like I go in the back and I'll just jump rope
And I'll do kettlebells and by the time I might get on the mat. I'm warm in the glass
We do drills and by the end my breathing isn't that bad
I have to just focus on breathing in my nose and out my mouth, you know
Once I go off that pattern. I'm fucked and the anxiety raises
So right now I'm in the process of just breathing if I can last
If I can go five three five minute rounds
I'm fucking happy. Yep. I'm very happy, you know, plus to workout plus to warm up before
Plus I stay from mobility class 15 30 minute class afterward
That's all I need. I I'm still too embarrassed to bring the piece in
And do it during jiu-jitsu. I think I don't want it on the floor. Yeah, you don't need it
I don't want people's feet on my fucking tooth
Then I'll get my fungi toe in my mouth and I have fungi tooth. Yeah, it doesn't look good. That's a motherfucker right there
They haven't tried to explain every one of those sores on your lips. Oh, yeah, so no, but I you sent me the
Outer trainer the
No, the the disc the trainer how to box and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Okay, but the the one worked on my computer, but the other one was doing something. It's not your disc. It's a fucking computer
I'm getting the new one for Christmas. Oh, okay. So once I get the new one for Christmas, but I started
Experimenting, you know, you gave me the exercises in the chair. I started doing those
And then
I just started doing squats with it and then push up so that I started doing
you know, like
Chokes like from the clothes guard by myself and then I started doing
What do you call those things not triangles, but when you fucking the other one when you go to the side from the
When you're on the bottom
I don't fucking man. Yeah, I did all this crazy and I got it down. This is the best I've done
I don't know what number that is. This is well, okay, but it says that we're number seven
Okay, that's pretty good. And I get dizzy sometimes not real dizzy. I just hear like
But I hear that noise a lot whenever I get high I hear that noise. Hey Japanese people yelling, you know
It's a bunch of it's so fucked up
What my first panic is like when I first go on the yard
I warm up I stretch my back
I uh do some push-ups I do some sit-ups by the time I get up I get the jump rope
And I'll jump rope for maybe 30 seconds and that's fine
Then the next 30 seconds
Forget about it. My world goes fucking a shot
And then I'll push it. I'll go fuck this and I'll get back on it get back on it
And then I'll maybe I'll increase it to 33 seconds, but I'm fucking running out of gas
Then I'll wait 10 or 12 seconds and I'll do it again until I feel myself
Kind of like Joey hold down one second. You could die
And then I breathe myself through it and right away my body goes into panic. So I gotta pee right away
This time, you know, I've taken my dick out and peed on my gi and on my hand and shit because it just explodes
The anxiety goes out that way. That is so crazy. It is the weirdest thing when I was
418 pounds
I used to go to Justin Fortune's gym and Maccafoli would train people in there
And the first or second time I went I peed myself in the ring because I couldn't breathe
Just the anxiety of seeing stars after fucking three minutes and just
Movement we were just moving weren't even boxing. Yeah, you know, and then I realized I gotta start bringing two pairs shorts
And I gotta wear underwear. Yeah, it looks like I'm gonna be peeing myself a lot now
First three months with Maccafoli. I would pee myself
Three times a fucking week, you know, wow, but you know what I wasn't breathing correctly the whole time
If somebody would have stopped me and took the time
To breathe correctly. It's so weird now. I'm working with this
I stretch out my rib cage
I mean in my fucking marathon in 44 minutes. No, but guess what?
The first time I roll
I gotta stop at the two minute mark
And rest for like 30 seconds that I finish out the thing
Then the second one I go a little longer
Then the third one I'll go a little longer
And that's my clap. You know what I'm saying? Like after that, I'm pretty fucking happy. Yeah after that
I feel like I'm gonna fucking pass out. Anyway, I'm doing enough anyway, you know
I don't want to be able to
I gotta know how I gotta learn how to match my breathing up
The whole mechanics, you know breathing the the great thing from this is it will teach you automatically to breathe a great
If you do a small hole on there like at the number 10
And you breathe in you'll force yourself to use your core in your diaphragm. Okay, so 10's a little smaller
Yeah, but you can only do breathing exercises where you don't want to train with that
You do this exercise. I sent you on the chair right by breathing in and that you will actually feel your diaphragm
No, I feel it now. I feel it now. I feel it now. Yeah, see what I used to happen was this you ready?
I will go
And then right there go
And then right here and we just go boom because there was no muscles. Yep. There was no muscle to control that now
Hold on
Yeah, yeah, just see you breathing now using your diaphragm. That's it
Just that is already
That's you see that that's the same as what you were talking about in the beginning with the running with the elbows not too high
Is just that that's it. You know, that's what I got forces you to do it the correct way. That's a great thing about it
So on your own you kind of I spoke to you through it, which is very nice of you
You know, man
One thing I've learned about jujitsu
And the world of jujitsu is people are very kind. Yep after you choke me four times
You just people go, you know what?
Let's learn that move. I'm catching you because obviously you don't see it come. Yeah
There's nobody who shoots you and then shows you how he shot you. Yep, you know, jujitsu does that
jujitsu is the only sport that people see and give you a t-shirt
You know, when you sent me this thing when when you sent me the little fucking booklet and stuff
it meant the world to me because
It's health. Yep, you don't give a fight. This ain't for money and nothing you're doing this for health
You saw this was and I always get inspired by that type of shit
People like really you got, you know, somebody a friend of mine called me when he was my friend says he
You know some fat man jujitsu. He wants a teacher
I said you're kidding me. He goes now go on youtube
It'll set you real and shit. He was a great guy. Matt bagie came down
I own my world. He taught me through two things that I'm great at
A different type of psych control that motherfucker ain't going nowhere. You know what I'm saying like shit like that
When it comes to health, I got the utmost respect for people
Because people always try to do something
I gotta be careful. Yeah two weeks ago at the
At the helium comedy club in portland. I was smoking pot in the green room. The alarm system went on fire
The electrical system went down
The lights turned off they came in the room
But it's not a fire department came but
They said what somebody was smoking in the green room and the manager goes
Yeah, then they just left and turned the power back on but that's why I wanted you on here
I want to thank you personally because a lot of people don't everything do everything as a fucking angle
This is a really great health product, man
This is a fucking great and I started on my desk
In between computer things. I'm sick and tired of sitting there
I did the special
And since fucking march, I've been sitting there
An extra hour every day that affected everything and affected my back
So I realized maybe I should do something in between whatever
I got a good idea. Maybe I'll do 10 push-ups. Maybe I'll do a down dog for three seconds
You know, I can't I can't do no real down though. I do a fucked up down dog
Yeah, yeah a little half down you're like a half down dog
But you can do it also with you to train with your fucking trainers. This is why
This is why you know what sometimes it's a sunny day. I even yell at least sometimes go you leave the fucking house yet
Sometimes I take the baby to school. I come back and go in the yard. I smoke a little bit. I said that for five minutes
But you got work to do you can't sit out in the sunshine, you know what I'm saying? The sunshine don't pay the rent. I ain't no farmer
So I go inside now
Like when I'm sitting there, I move my ankles and I do all that stupid fucking shit to keep your legs alive
But now I'm doing this. I do a couple push-ups a couple setups. I thought it was great, man
I wanted to congratulate you, you know, it it cured me from my asthma. It's it blows me away
It's the most important thing in your body is oxygen
I mean, you can go three days without water three weeks without food three minutes without that
You know, so and everybody's focusing on food and being bigger and doing and drinking and whatever you drink
I got to let's focus on the number one priority here because if it's that important, I'm pretty sure if you increase that
Then you're going to feel much better
You know, so that's that's how it started. I came up with it when I was 14 years old
When I had asthma attack like real asthma attacks. I mean a weak and bad not able to eat, you know, because I couldn't breathe
Well, when I came out with the prototype within, uh, I think six weeks. I was cured. I never had asthma anymore
I sent it to my buddy in Hollywood as asthma
He's selling them right now in in Europe because his asthma was gone in eight days
I start telling people you asked my say, listen, I cannot medically prove it yet
We we were getting very close now. Uh, I have like 18 medical journals coming out
In various it proven what it does for you. I mean you same ball choosing it
I mean the the gold medalists and the olympics three other gold medalists are you I mean
It's getting really big. I just cannot release anything right now because I have not enough stock
So that's why we're just slowly building and then once, you know, I have 20 000 of these things in stock
Yeah, then I'm gonna say, okay here are the medical journals here
Here's all the proof that you can do but I never carry an inhaler anymore for my every single title fight I had every fight I had
When warming up your lungs will close like that happens with pretty much every asthma patient
You have to open them up with albuterol and once it's open you can go now
I don't even carry an inhaler with me anymore
That's been I've been carrying an inhaler with me for like 48 years everywhere I went
Everywhere I went always needed one in my hip pocket
He's still alive and he is still moving
He's still going to change this all
I'm not going to change this
And you have people still call me Festos by the way
I know
You know what the worst thing is now take take take two slices of bread
It's gonna work much harder also, right? What do you mean?
Well, if you just took a star and you wait 15 minutes and then eat two slices of bread. What happens? You never did that? No
Oh, dude, that will intensify the whole thing immediately if you guys eat a burger now
Hey boss in 40 minutes. You're freaking out. You don't need to tell me these things
You don't need any more tricks. I'm not kidding. I'm coming here with a loaf of toasted bread and butter tomorrow
I'm not gonna suck you watch you eat it you wait 10 minutes then you take it you wait 10 minutes
Then you eat that's the trick it gets into your system right away
That's what I did with I've heard a thousand different
A friend of mine used to eat medical marijuana shit only with pizza
Because with extra cheese because the chief the cheese does something
As you know, you can do it anything. It's a fucking buffalo and somebody gave me a job of pyro enzymes, which I love
And guess what?
I've been eating pyro enzymes in
1981
Ever since I started selling coke because I used to go to the coast to the thing to get the inosit all
That's it. That's it slows you down, right? I now so tall is the really really good cut back in the 80s
Okay, you know joe weeder
Yeah, yeah, joe weeder used to have a fucking thing called
Something fat it was the original fat color and it was claw line. I'm not so tall that was his claim to fame
I'm not so tall in the 80s. What was real people were putting in coke. It was untraceable. It was so funny that
When I first started buying I now so tall it was six dollars a container
And eight months later it was 35 dollars because even the pharmacist got hit
To that you were cutting there were coke like two two fucking ounces of 35 fucking bucks
They fucked you the fucking of us
And that's why sometimes we did a lot of coke you go. I lost weight
Wasn't the coke. It was the fucking I now so tall you dumb fuck. Yeah, plus, you know, you're sweating it out
Oh, it's the worst
Yeah
Boss Root and every november
This year would be nine years since I did cocaine
Nine fucking years and those last three years
Were brutal
Like brutal. Oh, you so you still say oh, I should try one time me now. No, no me. I think so
Worthless drug. Let me tell you something right now for me to do cocaine
It would ruin everything. Yep. Just on uh, even if I never did it again
It would break a promise I made it would ruin it within a week. I think I'd be done something bad would happen
I mean like a personal personal promise. That's it. Then they got to do it
And I never missed it after that, you know, once you're clean from something a while you're like, wow
I can't believe I lived that long thinking
I couldn't be alive without this thing
And now you could be alive without anything once you realize that you're like shit this ain't shit
You know, it's it's all everything's in that man. Everything everything's trainable. Everything's habits
Everything is just like me now now and go to new york and take a ride. I arrived there like five o'clock
A.m. And I'm gonna you know sleep maybe hopefully four hours
But no problem. Now 10 years ago when I was still drinking
You see then you walk at the airport. You go. You don't know where you are
You got to look everywhere, you know, you lose your tickets. You got to find it again
Like the stress you have and then you realize when you just stop that
You go like, yeah, yeah, I can drink a beer here and bring beer there
But you know to go tanked again before every flight
And go on the flight and you feel like crap when you you know, you start thinking you're getting older
We're getting older. We want to be a little bit more healthy. You can do much more
In the time because time is the only thing we can't have more of right
It's funny. I'm some nights. I'm in my living room. I'm in the office trying to write jokes or
Trying to write a paragraph or a book or whatever and I think about
Like I was writing about a certain time in my life
Saturday night I had to stay in I stay in this week because I was on the road a lot. I shot this
It's just I knew I had to do early morning radio this week. So I had to go to bed early
I had the east coast radio and they wanted me to call it the first fucking pencil
I got was
and you call that a 30 uh
New york time. I'm like, that's five
Which guess what pass routine i'm up
If I don't have to get up
Are you with me? Oh, I know exactly what you mean. So let's say tomorrow you go joey
Can you do me a favor call into my show at 6 a.m?
Yeah, uh, whatever and 9 a.m. New york time 6 a.m. You be up. I see you on twitter fucking around
Don't lie to me. Come on. Just go on my show. I go. Okay, but guess what?
Tonight I'll go home. I'll be home at 9 30
I watch tv and I'll smoke a bowl
And I go shit
That's right. I gotta call my brother boss. Let me go in and lay down
11
12 15
Yeah
One o'clock. Yeah
Now you're in a fucking deep zone now you gotta do something a you want to be fresh the old days guys like me and you're like
Fucking oh get up done get up. Yeah, right. Let me do 10 jumping jacks
But now you know that that day's gonna be a motherfucker as it is never mind your fucking it's a night
That's what happens to me. Yep. That's how I get four hours of sleep
I can't go back to sleep after uh boss's call for some reason now even though and now your whole day is not fucked
It's uh, now, you know why these older people they wake up so early
You know, everybody wants longer time. It's the one thing one thing that you don't have
You know, I can't call my parents at 6 a.m. In the morning. They're up
You know, but getting up there in age and I think truly believe
You know, if you want to do something if there's a lot of work to be like my friend
They say, yeah, but you know what I would they ought to train. I gotta do these 30 repetitions in the morning
I don't have the time for that. I think it takes about four minutes
Say, yeah, but I wake up later. I said wake up four minutes early. It's very simple
You know, like in the morning, I wake up early because I before everybody goes to school
I already want to have my things done. I don't turn on my phone in the morning
I wait till that till it's like nine or nine thirty if you try to reach me too bad
Can't reach me. I don't go online. You know, I do the things that I do for myself first
And I my whole and then my day starts turn on my computer and I start doing everything
And if you don't do that, this is the biggest problem the freaking telephone all the kids walk on the street
I was I was in new york two weeks ago. I'm walking on the street
And it's 80 of the people are looking on the phone. And I mean, it's not 50 50
It's you look around everybody's on their phone. Nobody's time for you. They break up by text
They start dating by text. They do everything by text sexting. Whatever they do. Yeah
I mean, it's the craziest thing these phones are demise. They really are they know where you are what you spend what you do
They know everything about you and everybody's hooked to the thing. You should stay far away from it
You know, if a few days a week if you get say, okay, you know today just be between one and three or one and four
You leave the phone at home
You know, maybe maybe take it with you turn it off
You never know if you're going to get in an accident or something
So you have somebody that you can call but turn the freaking thing off my daughters
You know when this we're eating we're having dinner and then somebody texts and they have to respond right away
I said, why why do you need they can wait 10 minutes? Yeah, but they think I'm angry
Well, just tell them from now on if you don't react, you know, you're probably eating done
That's problem solved. But no, they have to immediately respond to those texts drives me nuts
If we go to a restaurant, nobody's allowed to bring the phone anymore. I bring my phone. I turned it off. I put it on
What is it on airplay mode so we can make pictures, but that's about it
You know social media is a big vehicle
and what we do
I have twitter on my phone and I have hotmail
That's it. That's it. This is very smart. I have periscope
That's a good one too. Yeah, facebook live is good
you know facebook
facebook
I don't know some days
It's interesting
Some days it's just a cry for fucking hell some days
Some days it really aggravates the fuck out of me
Some days I don't even look at it. It's a sad thing
If I see a quick somebody family from the church family
I'll put something nice to try to make that day to see if they're having a shitty day
But besides that I look on facebook sometimes I go, what the fuck is this?
What is this? Why am I looking at this? I could be right. I have a joke
Yeah, look at that. It can't who's y'all ain't got a fucking word or something. So that's what I get
From the from the social media thing. I don't let it really cut into my shit
That's why I keep my stuff low lee lee knows
When people come to me with new gadgets, listen, I got what I got and I barely got this. Yep
The last thing I need is a new fucking. What's the gaj?
Well, this is better than periscope because you could talk to the people
And you could see where they are and you could charge them two dollars and listen. I don't want to do that
Yeah, yeah, I just want to pop on periscope when I want and get the fuck off there when I want
You don't have the fucking time to be around there all day. I try to go away from
Social media saturdays and sundays. I do too. Okay. So I disappear Friday morning and I get back on there sunday night
Sunday night, especially if it's a business week, you got to get on there sunday night to promote
To let them know uncle joey's coming to town slinging dick and giving out firecrackers, you know what I'm saying
Fuck it. You missed doing the mma hour
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that went on for how long nine years. Yeah, I I do miss I miss the people also
Uh, you know, you become a family, you know, you know these people for nine years every every week you see them
You know, they become they become very close friends. So, yeah, I missed that
That's uh, it was always fun. I never had a day in my life that I
Said, you know, today I I rather stay home than do the show. I always wanted to do the show
It was always fun to do. It's always good to have guests on the show. Maybe like a McGregor
I met him through our show, you know, so we get the new stars on this is two years ago
But you know, you you also the old guys
Sometimes we talk to Coleman or to to don't fire then seven, you know
They come back on hands. Oh, Gracie then then a new young guys again that I don't know
So this way it was a way of me for me to stay in touch with the old guys
But also to get the new talent and start knowing these
These new fighters that we have nowadays. So it was funny because
When I would get off the stage on friday nights
I would get back to my room whatever city I was on
And either you were on or it was coming on in 20 minutes
Yeah, you know, if I got in that one like if I got in at 12 40
And you weren't on I knew you were coming on that one. Yeah, but you didn't come on at one
We got a problem. But you know what? There's a soda fountain downstairs. They got potato chips. I go, this isn't killing now
And that's how I would watch a few things
You know me at that time I was still till this day
Since the UFC really broke my MMA cherry
I still watch the UFC if I have to
Very seldom what I that's why I said, I never know when Bellator is coming on. No and the other places. I don't really
The other people I don't watch. I don't even know what else is out there. Maybe the world series of
An amber alert. Did you get that too? Yeah. Yes, you made my mind up to this one. I stole my cat
Not the fuck mother fuckers. Her name is amber
Oh, what's this a cat? No way
No, it's not a cat. No, it's a blue deer. Yeah, that's what I'm saying
That's fucking crazy when that happens. Now every cop is looking for you. Yep. What a fucking nightmare to be a criminal full time now. Oh my god
It's so useless. Eventually they'll get get caught. You know, you're gonna do me in jail
That would not be a good thing man. I don't I'm not a happy person when I'm locked up
You know, I want freedom. I want to run around on the screen do crazy things
That that would not be me what losing your freedom is till you lose your freedom
No, I believe it and for me, it wasn't the freedom part
I've said it a thousand times. It was more
The slight looking down from the guard to the convict
That non respectful
They respect you not that they respect you they keep it light
Because they know at some time you could blow up the fucking floor
But they still have this weird treatment of you
I always told Lee you don't know what your life is until a man kicks your bed and tells you to wake up
That does something. Can you imagine that mother come to your bed and just kick and go wake the fuck up, bitch
Yeah, eventually you're gonna get up and choke me boss room eventually. Yeah, I wouldn't know guppy with that
That's not good. No, that's not good. There's nothing authority figures. I'm the big thing. No, nobody putting a light on when you're sleeping
Is very fucking nice. Then they kick the bed
Then they say something to you. Yeah, I'm saying and there's nothing you can do
You should if you do they'll have another place for you
They'll go sleep here, you know, right?
Which stitches hole or whatever and they got sleep with stitches in the tube up your ass. Yeah, so
You know the system. Do you already know the system? They never beat you
They never make believe they find heroin none that shit
But they always play that hand like they got you
And they really do have you so who are you kidding? Who you know, it's uh
So now you start playing
I'm not doing nothing
But even if I was I could you couldn't get me
And you start playing. I know you're doing something
You're a criminal and guess what nine out of ten
I'm gonna get you. Yeah, and that's what happens now in the system
And you see it go down
And sure enough this guy goes for one week
The way Lee's about to go Lee you're getting sleepy
You tell me that Lee you're getting sleepy. Lee put your head down. It's okay. It's not me
You know what listen
Listen, no man deserves to go through these changes
Put your head down
It's okay. I'm not gonna be mad. You know your family. I bet close your eyes five minutes. Just take a breather
It's snapping. Do you remember when you were in kindergarten? It's snapping new new time
It's snapping
You cross your arms like this indian style, right?
Oh
That looks really good
Yeah sitting over there going through changes. You're hearing the people yelling changes. I swear to god
You don't know what I've seen boss rooting. It looks like
He's got virtual reality glasses on and he's got
And but he's not looking because his eyes are closed
The lights are turned off. He's listening to apocalypse now. That's how
That's what if your face looks likely. Well, yeah, that's what happened to me with 1,800 milligrams. Whatever we have
Who said it was 1,800? It was at least 1,400. Stop lying to these fucking people. How much was it?
a lot
Don't ask questions, all right
I think they're fine
Boss rooting. Yeah, we'll look at these guys in the ring and you go. I'm just fighting
Every day every time, you know, it is the worst is if I go to a gym to interview somebody and they're sparring
You know, they go like, oh, I wish I could do that
I don't want to take the risk anymore. I have four neck surgeries like a place for the front for this fusion's back
I mean, you know, it's the time that you you start thinking, you know what? I'm gonna give my body a little rest
I beat it up enough. I did enough crazy stuff in my life and
You know, I got the crazy stories to bag it, but that's it. It's time now to
To pay attention to life, right?
I mean, it's out of control time again. Here we go again time. Everything is time and
this uh
Living it walking in pain. I rolled like when I saw Hagen
I was with another guy also and he wanted to roll now. I didn't roll for 10 years
There's a reason I don't roll because I have no cartridge on my knee gaps
Which is extremely painful not at that moment. I can do it. But the next day and
Boy the next day. Yeah, I look at my wife. I go, oh man, I can't even walk the stairs anymore. You know, it's because
It's aggravating the knees start blowing up
So it's not fun anymore. That was the reason I stopped fighting people go like, why did you stop?
He was still winning. I said, well because the training it was hurting every workout 10 times a week in intense pain
You know get my tendonitis in my arms kill me
You know, I was losing weight because of the pain I could eat. It's um, it was not fun anymore
What you know before all that training was fun getting tired. Oh, I love getting tired. I
I wanted to get as tired as uh
As much as possible because for some reason that would give me a great feeling
You know, I learned how to love that. That's what with things people say. Well, yeah, I don't like training
I'll learn to love it. How do I stop?
You know, otherwise, it's not your profession if you don't enjoy it
You're not gonna go far. You're really not you know, you need to love it
And I think once you fall in love with it and there is no pain
Well, sky sky's limit
I mean you're 51 years old now
You could probably probably still knock a lot of motherfuckers out
and still wrestle
But I think let me tell you what happens
I think when you look at the tape you go
I'm not doing that no more
I'm a different guy now also, you know, the things I did, you know people
You know, I'm always been very nice, but you know, to a certain point
And you know, you have these guys who suddenly think that you're afraid of them
You know when you when you say hey listen, we don't need to fight here
You know, it's and then you do it again and you do it again because why would I want to fight it?
This guy's not going to be anything to me
But now he starts thinking that you're afraid. So now he turns it up and then always
This conversation goes I dude, I hope you're not thinking I'm afraid of you. You think I'm afraid of you
I'm afraid to beat the crap out of you. That's what I'm afraid of because I will do that
There's no way you're going to win this thing. So and all that, you know
I in the early days when something happened, I was right in there, you know, but of course I was nice
I was nice again a third time. That was it. Now I got much more
Control now I can't let it go for seven times, you know, and I really I still walk away until they put their hands on me
You know, but that's that hasn't happened a long time at 15 years. Nobody
Ever did that. So and I'm really good with talking as well
I was a bouncer in holland and the reason I was a bouncer was because I nine out of ten times
I solved the problem, you know without fighting and that's why they wanted me
I was wearing my glasses at the time was wearing glasses as a bouncer
But I you know, I just talked to everybody
I just say what what's going on here and then when once they hear once they explain themselves
What the reason is they're fighting they realize it's really stupid because it's always stupid, you know
And then you say are you are you getting just think about that?
And I give him a beer give the other guy a beer fight will be over
Now if somebody will keep pushing
You know, then I wanted to make sure that everybody was going to find out about it
So I then I would just go go to town on the guy because I would set an example
Then people go like, yeah, he's really nice
But you know the last time we saw that he was headbutting the guy like five six times in the face
You know like because I would do that on purpose because the headbutt is a very for people when they look at that
They think you're a complete psychopath and I know that so, you know, then if somebody was a really bad guy
Like a guy had an axtray in his girl's face. Yeah, now you
You're gonna get five headbutts, you know, and that doesn't look pretty for people who are watching
But that's a different guy, you know, also when I realize how was
You know the my wife said it. She said could you do it? I said, oh, no, I'm uh, you know, yeah
If they attack me, yeah, I'll go all the way again. I don't care about that. But I was just a different person
You know, you you grow old
Like we all do and you start thinking about live you gotta, huh?
Yeah, I I would I would solve their problem probably different right now
I'm talking about last week
I was talking to roguly showed me tape on benign happens
Unbelievable this guy's turning 52 in january
You know
Okay, he's the same benign happens. I became a fan of
And the thing I've always liked about benign happens is what earl
I can't remember his name is the guy who talked kajukenbo
Down here, uh, and how I told you was the cascus's student. Okay, his main philosophy is
Why am I blocking you? Yeah, why am I why am I wasting?
All this fucking time in blocking you. Let's just do this
Let's just
Make believe I'm moving
And you're missing me
Yeah, and his main thing on his style, which I can't remember now
It was kajukenbo. It was something they called it something else, which you know, there's a thousand fucking names
was basically
Uh, it was evasive
It was all based on range
And it was all based on
Not getting touched. I remember when I would have conversation with me always go
I never see ufc fighting
That they really cut in angles like they
Thompson
Like you see that's a karate guy. Right wonder boy thompson. Right. He's got great distance. Great distance distance man is the most important in fighting
Always and this is silverhead also great. Yep. Great distance great distance. Yeah, so eyes on your opponent and
And the distance that's it. They're either too far away or they're too close
It's very hard to fight at the just perfect
It's just outside the range of your opponent
So you only have to move back like half an inch and then right away you can counter again
If you can find that that's the thing that's most of the time, you know, that happens with fighters
When I start a fight, you will see my hands are low and I do this on purpose because I want him to hit my head
You know, and then every time I let him miss
But it let every time when I move backwards
It comes I let him come a little closer and I'm just getting used to his reach and suddenly I'm
I'm like half an inch out now. I found this reach, you know, that's a really
Nice way easy way to figure out somebody's reach. You don't want to figure out if you fight a guy like john jones with what has the 86 reach
You know, if you didn't spar with somebody with a long reach, he'll knock you out with the first punch
I mean the difference is insane. I mean he can literally from this distance
But
For me, we're sitting right now. He can probably hit you. He can knock you out. Now if you're used to my reach
You know, and then suddenly have that that's a big problem. So let him throw it from shots
You know figure out the reach and then figure out what you're going to do with it to game
It's it's weird how people at home watch fighting
Especially now with the explosion of MMA and it's got so many different avenues
How people these guys make it look easy
And even boxing and the old thing they can do it and the old thing they can do it
And it's so weird how I go to lunchtime jujitsu
But at least once a month
The daytime guys are talking about the night before
How a guy came in
Said he never did jujitsu before and he on borrowed a purple belt
Yeah, because during like drills on borrowed purple body because I thought he never did jujitsu before
Oh, no, I learned how to do it on youtube
Yeah, it's uh
Well, I I learned watching both videos and and books
That's how I learned with the body of mind and then finally after a year training a fighting in japan
I had no sparring partners
I was training on a bag and then I found one guy and then after my last loss
I said, you know, I'm gonna have to change this. I'm gonna need to
Know the ground game. Otherwise I'll never be anybody with this and then I started training and I never lost the fight anymore
But I took it to the next level
Yeah, it's again you want something. Well, you're gonna have to do it a lot
I want you to start training two times a day or three times a day every day
You know and being busy with it in your mind and writing down all these crazy combinations come up it
You know, yeah, everybody can do it. It's just finding the love for it
You know, I I still can't believe that you have fighters out there
Which they will tell you before you fight them, uh, you know, you know that if you get them on the ground
You probably can't submit it, right? I go that's that should be this guy should be disgusted with himself
Can you imagine you're that guy or you know, you know, if you hit him to the body
He'll probably go down. He already went down five times to the body five times
That will not happen with me after three times. I guarantee you that I'll I'll I'll get so angry
One time two times maybe but third time. I don't want that to happen. It's not gonna happen. You know, that's that's my call
I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure that's not gonna happen
And by the way, I'm gonna counter that now. Please come for it
I'm gonna find every counter everything that I can do with that special body shot
But if I don't fix it, why am you why are you fighting? It makes no sense. You know, if you don't want to get better
Yeah, but you he arm barred him again. Listen. This is a dumbass
You'll learn the game. You know, it's makes much a lot guys. That wasn't the early days
You know, you have these strikers, but you know, if you had them on the ground, boom, you won
And then and advice a verse of course, you know, I got so much better at calmly
I'm a man
Oh, yeah, I'd want I can't say I'm a man say UFC
I'll tell you why because
I was just getting
I was just becoming acquainted with it
And I put on the countdown or I'd watch the fights and they talk about who's coming up next
And then go back to the backyard and they'd show him doing all this shit
And also like all right in my mind, I go, I'll bet on that guy and I always lose by myself
I always get my ass kicked in the early ufcs, you know
What the fuck are we talking? Yeah, because you look at bodies. You look at the person how they look
Yeah, you know, if you look at a guy who's uh jolted up full with uh
With Royce, you know as a normal person, you're gonna think oh, he yeah, he's gonna win
And we were talking also about the people
At home how how they think they can fight because they see it on tv
Is the is the funniest thing ever last time I got in there somebody said oh, I got uh
I got a new opponent for cn punk and he showed me a fight from a guy who was very wild
And I go like how many fights did you have this guy's actually fighting how many guys how many fights did you have?
For posting that video. I mean to me that guy who's in there deserves a lot of respect winning losing
I don't care. You know, they're doing what they want to do
You're not doing it, but you're talking about it because you think you can beat them. These guys can't do anything
It's a shame. It's uh, it's it's so easy
But by a boss if I hit him in the head his body opens up and you can go for the body, right? Yeah, why is nobody doing it?
So, why don't you fight?
Why don't you try that out one time? I had a student
And he was uh 38 when he started and he was a bodybuilder or no power lifter
250 pounds and I the first day I told him I said that's gotta go all
He says what I said at least 40 pounds of muscle need to go because this is gonna hold you back
It's good and he's 205 fights at 205 right now
He's now 44 had already like 12 matches, you know one nine
So he's he's doing good never had aspirations to become a champion. He said before I get old
I want to try it. I want to know how it feels
To step in there. So he did it. That's a full mma full mma
God bless you. Well, you know what he said in the beginning is the boss. Okay. So if I'm on the ground, right?
Inside month I can knee his thighs, right? I say, yeah, why is nobody doing it? I say, I don't know maybe because of them because
It's super effective. Okay. Yeah, okay. I said, but you know what just wait till your first fight
Then he comes back a week later. Hey standing. I can do the two right knees to the thighs
What if they do you really freaking hard? I say, yeah, that's how they should do it, but they don't you know
Yeah, that's why it's not effective
I say but you just wait till you have your first fight and then it comes with another technique
And as I would say every time I would say wait till you have your first fight that his first fight came, right?
And this guy is
Like all technique is gone
And the one combination that we worked on so many times, you know was a right hook to the body keep looking
Down to the body like he thinks it's another body shot. Then you hit him in the head
That one thing came back and he knocked the guy out like that
But for the rest it was a horrible fight. So after the fight, he said, what did you think? I said, what were the knees to the thighs?
In the standing position and on the ground and where was that other crazy move and he looks at me with a blank stare
He goes, yeah
Now I know exactly what you mean. It's it's
It's a different thing, you know being a good gym fighter doesn't mean anything
You you know these guys in a gym. They work circles around the world champions
But once you put them under pressure
They can't do it, you know
You need to can once you can control. I saw it for years in the comedy game. Oh, yeah
I saw the switch from
From uh city
To los angeles. I saw it once or twice a month. What happened to that guy?
He cracked at the improv. He got in the plane and went back to whatever. Let me do some shout outs
It's crazy and it goes pressure guys
Pressure's big man. Pressure's real. There's everything special stand-up comedy. I want to thank everybody who downloaded
The new special on siso tv.com. Thank you very much
From the bottom of my heart. You guys know who you are and I love you to death
awesome warrior david nut
The fire clown icky spooky looking good one by one podcast
My man mike my man matt baltazar
running fucking sunday sabbath
andrew no dal over there and fucking nyak running things
retarded genius
and ray majewski. I love you cock suckers
Some nice words from joey. Yeah, these guys know I love that stuff like that
Now do you have some available now on the web? Yeah. Yeah, we we have them back again
You know the results are crazy. Just try 30 repetitions in the morning
Breathing exercises with screen 10. That's it. Wait till I come out with all my medical journals people go to freak out
I mean we got four olympic gold medalist training on it and that's like I said including usain Bolt
So we're doing something good right here and now
Hopefully we can make it into a medical device. Hey if you want to really give this a shot go to a go to
two trainer with a capital t
trainer
Dot com. Is that it? Oh, oh two trainer. Oh two trainer two trainer. Sorry about that. I can't see without my glasses
That's why I put my it's the 800 milligrams
What was it 800 1200 way more than 800
Joey I am your father
I
Would do it every morning I drive to the to the ocean to swim there to crazy exercises
I live in the car. Do you always have the nose plug on? No, I don't I just don't breathe in through my nose
See that's well like because that's what happened. I got it. Yeah
But that's what somebody told me, you know, but but then I'm cheating
I said then you're cheating the person the one person in the world that you should never cheat yourself
So just don't breathe in through your nose. That's it
Lee, what kind of changes you're going to do tonight?
Answer me. You're sweating
You're wiping your forehead. What happened? No, I'm hot. I'm fine though. Let's go through some deep changes
Medium changes. You know, I love you. I ain't gonna say I don't know. Do you hear voices?
Oh only in Spanish
No, I don't know
It's hard I felt that's it
But as long as you're hot, you had me nervous there for a second. I know you're going some deep
deep deep deep
Motherfucking changes tonight
So I just want you to be around when we call the hospital
Well, let's look at another three or four more red stars first. We're gonna open up the week big Lee say it's over
Absolutely
One years of
Frenchman's fuck
Anymore you understand me
first off
This company made me a suit and I never went down to pick it up
So I got to go down there this week. I got to go down there. Maybe Thursday. I'm gonna call the girl tomorrow
I promise you because it was a tremendous experience. Okay. I don't know if you guys wear suits or not
But it's the holidays plus you might have to go to court
Plus you might get a dui plus you might have to go to a fucking wedding
Excuse me plus plus plus plus plus bitches. You got to get a suit even my goomba Lee over here
Didn't have a suit
I talked them into it now. He's got a suit for every fucking occasion because you you know
There's times you can dress like a bum and there's times you need to dazzle motherfucking so they can't see you
Listen, you don't want to see
You don't want them to see you coming
Stop it stop it
It's nice, huh?
Anyway, yeah, you don't want people to see you come you want to fucking show up looking something good
Collin McGregor like today a fucking church. I wore a nice suit
Why because I wanted to impress my fucking daughter. I didn't press those fucking yokels. Anyway, you call him a gregor
It looks great in suits, right?
Suits are great
Now was it a made to measure suit not really but the guy put the fucking finishing touches on it looks okay
I don't know what you guys know
What a fucking measured suit feels like compared to a generic off-the-rack suit
Okay, but I know one thing I do know about my personal experience with indo chino. Okay
I went down there. They measured me up
They showed me the different materials. It was something
Out of this world. You know why because indo chino is one of the largest made to measure menswear brands
They're making it easy for men to get great fitting high quality suits and shirts at an incredible price. All right
Here's how it works. Excuse me. You go to indo chino
Dot com or drop by one of their nine north american showrooms
You pick from hundreds of fabrics and patterns. Okay. I did it right down there. I'm bebly Hills
You you choose your customization from lapels to pleats to jacket linings to more you submit your body measurements
You kick back relax
And get ready to step into the best most stylish suit
You've ever worn in just four weeks. You understand me this week. My listeners can get any premium
Indo chino suit for just 389 at indo chino dot com when entering church
ch
You are ch
You don't want to show up at grandmas wearing that stupid fucking gray
Shirt again. Do you you want to show up banging with a fucking suit? Whatever?
Anyway, do yourself a favor. It's the holidays. What I'm going to do is this that's fit
389 is basically 50 off the regular price for a made to measure premium suit plus
Shipping is free. Who's better than uncle joey? That's indo chino dot com
promo code church ch you are ch for any premium suit for just 389
We're free shipping indo chino also has amazing holiday deals right now on their shirts pants and other products too
You'll never have to worry about looking like a bum with badly fitting suits or expensive trips to the tailor again
Get ready to look like a million dollars. All right, again, go to indo
chino
Dot com slash joey. I'm gonna take your carrier there. Oh
Indo chino
Dot com slash church. We're gonna take good carrier. You know who's gonna take your carrier. Listen people
Let's get the ball going. Okay. You're what 12 13 days away from christmas. Maybe what what's today's date?
Is 11 the 11th. All right tomorrow tomorrow's monday. That's the 12th. So in reality
You got 12 maybe 11 days 13 days to pick up a check fake paycheck. Okay
How you gonna put it together? What are you gonna do to go dance at a bar?
You can barely walk people throw apples at you. Shit. What are you gonna do guy?
What are you gonna do walk around and go down and stand online to get picking work?
The holidays are 10 days away. Even if you get picked, you're gonna get a fucking check in the mail
Nothing bothers me more than they're checking the mail around the holidays
After that's 10th. It's all about cash and dola. I got an idea for you. All right
I'm gonna tell you a smart way to earn extra money and get $500 bonus driving with lift. Okay
Listen, you're in between jobs and you're looking to earn some extra money
You're looking to put some money away
For college, right? You're going back to school yourself. You want to get another degree or your first one?
You're writing the next great american novel and looking for explain
Inspiration, you know, you're someone who loves to drive. You're someone who just plain loves people if any of these things fit you
Lift is the way for you to go. All right
Here's the what they go
They got other ride sharing apps out there, but lift treats their drivers, right? It's a flexible way to make money
Anytime from nearly anywhere. All you need is a car lift drivers can make up to 35 hours an hour
And getting started is just a tap away. That means you could be driving tomorrow
You can drive mornings. You can drive nights. You can drive weekends
You can flip into a driver mode and start making money plus lift drivers can earn tips
Right through the app those app ads. Let me tell you something. Those add up real fast
And you don't have to wait days or weeks to get paid. There's what i'm talking about
The holidays are coming. You can cash out instantly once you've made
$50 thanks to express pay. All right
Drive will lift is super flexible. Listen, you're an insomniac. What are you gonna do sit down? Why?
I watch a bunch of movies
Listen get the fucking car you get out there you earn
Whatever it's better than sitting there and watching tv like a momo. This is flexible as can be
Sign up today at lift.com
Slash joey again
Right now lift has a special offer for all our listeners
You get $500 all right
$500 new driver bonus after you complete our hundred rides
In 30 days you can do that
Standing on your head. Okay. Go to lift.com
Slash joey today and you can start making extra money and get your $500 new driver bonus today
Limited time only get your action together
Restrictions apply but the party starts right now. All right, and also
Listen, you're looking for the holiday gift
You're sitting there scratching your ass going
What am I gonna get for this guy?
I just started dating him
We had sex a few times
And after I got up, I noticed there was a weird order in the room. What am I gonna get this guy? Oh, shit
Hello tushy.com mother fuckers. I started dating this girl
And she's tremendous but every time she leaves the house
My dog won't stop sneezing. It smells like rotten ass. Hello tushy.com bitches
Bidets are back devices that spray your butt clean with water
I grew up with a bidet in my house and I gotta tell you something. It was tremendous. Well, guess what?
Thanks to tushy sleep bidet that clips on to your existing toilet and sprays your butt
Completely clean with fresh water to get your muffler
Sparkling. All right. Listen, so you're not sitting there. I'm bacteria causing hemorrhoids
yeast infections and just plain old rotten ass. Listen, why do this to yourself?
Why sit there like a mook fucking eight hours a day your asshole's rotten to death?
Hell no, you go to your bathroom
You do what you gotta do you turn the bidet on and guess what?
Your life becomes a fucking reality. It's a dream. That's what bidets do to you
They give you confidence
They wash your butt. They wash the back of your scrotum. You could dip your helmet in there
Whatever the hell you gotta do
Hello, tushy's gonna save the day bitches and guess what? Hello tushy is a tremendous motherfucking christmas gift
How's that one for you? You're confused. You don't know what to get them
Everybody needs a clean asshole. Am I lying?
Everybody needs a clean asshole. That's why I tell you what you're gonna do
You're gonna go to hello tushy.com right now and on the way out you get 10 off by putting
church
CHU or CH listen, but days are better for the environment. Anyway, there's no paper
More trees. Okay. If this tushy only requires one pint of water plus you have a 60 day
Guarantee, okay
What are you gonna do? You're gonna keep walking around with that rotten fucking muffler
Go to hello tushy.com right now and put in church
CHU or CH and get 10 off
Merry christmas to you motherfuckers. That's the fucking uh stocking stuff for the year
Anyway, I want to thank lift go to lift right now
Lift.com and get a fucking job. Don't make me tell you again. Hello tushy.com slash church
And and the best part about lift is is you're making money on those hundred rides
So you're making an extra 500
Well, you're making a ton of money on those hundred rides. Listen guys get it together. All right
I just gave you you broke. You're sitting there with your thumb up your ass
What'd you buy that car for the look at it?
I got a nice car. Well, now what are you gonna do with it? You got nobody to bang in there
What are you gonna go? What are you gonna go live.com? Correct? That's it live.com slash joey
And what's the other one CHU Indochino Indochino
Dot com. I love you motherfuckers
See you guys Tuesday or wednesday morning on it too. And we want to thank honor dot com right now
Another tremendous holiday stopper go to honor right now and press in church bam
CHU or CH get 10 off ship directly to the house on supplements only
I love you guys. See you motherfuckers wednesday morning. Stay black
You're what crazy guy my friend
It's all the same
Only the name will change
Everything
It seems we're wasting away
Another place
Where the faces are so cold
I drive all night
Just to get back home
I'm a cowboy
I'm a steward's eye
I want it
Dead on the line
I want it
Dead on the line
Sometimes I sleep
Sometimes it's not for days
No people like me
Always go this way
Sometimes you tell daddy
By the bottle that you drink
Times when you're alone
For all you do is think
I'm a cowboy
I'm a steward's eye
I want it
Dead on the line
I want it
Dead on the line
I want it
I'm a cowboy
I'm a steward's eye
I want it
Dead on the line
But I walk these streets
I'm on a six train on my back
I play for keys
I might not make it back
I've been everywhere
I've been standing tall
I've seen a million faces
And I've rocked them all
I'm a cowboy
I'm a steward's eye
I want it
Dead on the line
I want it