Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #440 - Jorge Masvidal

Episode Date: December 19, 2016

Jorge Masvidal, a UFC Welterweight division fighter, who similar to Joey, is of Cuban descent, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Seeso: Seeso is the new ad free streaming service. Bingeable comedy. Anytime. Anywhere. Use code JOEY at checkout for 2 months free. Watch Joey's Special, "Sociably Unacceptable" Now!   Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order and shipping is always free in the US and Canada.    Helix Sleep: Go to helixsleep.com/JOEY to get $50 off of your order off your custom mattress.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 12/18/2016.

This show is presented by Onit. The Churchill What's Happening Now is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Go to helixsleep.com slash joey and get $50 off of your custom mattress that you buy online, customized for you for $100 instead of thousands. Go to helixsleep.com slash joey right now. This show is also brought to you by MeUndies. Go to meundies.com slash joey right now to get 20% off of your first order and shipping is always free in the U.S. and Canada.

They have great socks, t-shirts, and underwear. Go to meundies.com slash joey right now and go to ceso.com s-e-e-s-o.com and use code word joey to get two months for free. Let's ceso.com use code word joey to get two months for free. Go to meundies.com slash joey right now. St. Lazaros weekend the 17th of December and shit. They forgotten shit. You're saying Joey, what the fuck is going on here? What's the Spanish music? Ah!

Lisa Yat, George Mazdevall, and your Uncle Joey Diaz Coxuckas. What's happening you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joey here, my main man Lisa Yat. Jorge Mazdevall in the house, what's happening, Doug? What's up man, pleasure to be here man. Pleasure to have you here. I saw you this weekend on Fox coaching that fucking savage Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, that kid won't stop. He's like that every day in practice. Insane cardio. How old is he?

26, 27. Wow. Beach cardio, I mean like I've been all over the world grappling with from Abu Dhabi champions every discipline of grappling that the dude is good in. Like I've wrestled with national champions, with Judo guys that I've done really well in the Olympics, got in bronze medals, silver medals, and Greco guys. And this guy has some of the most insane endurance of ever that I've ever seen, you know. To do that for 15 minutes, like all grapplers know how hard it is to hold somebody down

to get nine minutes of riding time when somebody knows how to wrestle back into you. It's so draining of energy and he just has it naturally, you know, he's just a goer. He just kept pushing and going for takedowns and it's relentless. And that's one of the most tiring things. Yeah, like just takedowns and you know if you throw a hand now or you throw a foot, you don't know when the savage is going to go down and he shoots. He was shooting it, motherfucker. Driving, driving through the road.

Oh my God. Boom. You watch him, Lee? I watched the main event. What are you talking about? Kobe Covington versus Brian Barberina. I think that was on the undercard, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't get that one. And it's funny because before the show started, we were talking about how, you know, I'm a lot older than Jorge and the Cubans I grew up with, like the ones that were 40 and 50, I wasn't allowed to hang out with people with beards. Like if I walked in with a guy with a beard, my mom would pull me aside and tell me, get that guy out of the room. He's bad luck. Fadal was bad luck.

They just, all Cubans in the 70s had prejudices against people with fucking beards. Today, those revolutionary Cubans, if you brought them back, they'd be going crazy. Oh yeah. Everybody's got a beard. They lose their fucking mind. They go back to Cuba. They couldn't take it. I swear to God, if you walked in around my mom, when she gambled and you had a beard,

like let's say she bet the Bianches and the score was 5-0 and she was winning and you walked in with a beard, she'd go fucking apeshit. They understand me now. She'd blame them if they lost. That's how you do a beard. That motherfucker with the beard fucked me up and shit. That's how serious it was. They'd get like this.

What's the perfume every Cuban has at the house? The one for the babies? Yeah. Oh, I'm going to tell you a name right now. There's two of them. Violeta? Violeta. All right.

There's Violeta and then there's the other one. Something. You spread it when the spirit is coming to visit. You throw it up in the air. I know what you're talking about. I'm going to tell you a name right now. It's a white and they come. Can we borrow that?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the stuff that they fucking whammy. They put it on themselves and they go like that with their finger and it's just eats on my set, you know what I'm saying? I went, how are you going to sue me? Every Chinese guy's bad luck. When the old school Cubans are revolutionaries, if a Chinese guy came in the room, he was

bad luck. Again, it didn't matter what particular Asian denomination it was. South China. Korean fucking Chinese. South China. Japanese. Oh, it's like I'm at the Gino. Gino, Gino, Gino.

Oh my God. It's the same thing for fighting. My coach, my head coach is born and raised in Cuba, came here. He defected to Ecuador and then he came to Miami, so he's had his whole life over there. So to this day, he's one of the most superstitious persons I've ever met. If you've ever seen him in my corner, he always had something yellow on. He'll have something yellow on his body. Now Reebok gives him a lot of trouble for this because he had his own scuddy cap for 10 years

that he wore to all my fights. It's yellow. And now they don't let him wear it because it wasn't Reebok. So he went and bought a Reebok one that's like an old, with the old design of Reebok, they won't let him use it. So he's been going crazy to put something on his head that is yellow. This is not me just being funny. It's documented footage.

You can see it on all my fights before the Reebok. He'd always had something yellow on his head. And if he didn't, we would have to get it from him. It wasn't me, it was him, no, no, no, no. I'm going to, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bro, we're in the fucking, we're in Korea. No, bro, find your hat.

No, no, no, no, no, no. We need my hat now. I couldn't find it. He didn't have that yellow hat still to this day, he'll have something on yellow always. How long have you been with him? 12, 12, 13 years now? How much does he make you laugh? Oh, so he's still to this day to everybody that meets him.

He's the funniest dude in the planet, you know, and plus he has a Stereo for every dude. I'm gonna fight depending where they're from He already knows how to fight the dude, you know, if you're fighting a Russian dude You don't hit those guys in the chin cuz they're really strong. You gotta go for the body You gotta go for the body if you fight Japanese people all of them are lactose intolerant You gotta hit them in the body. You gotta hit them in the back This is what he tells me because I've been a kid I've been hearing this if you fight black people You got to chop them in the legs cuz they're fast and they don't like getting kicked in the leg

You got to go for the legs. This is this is known facts, you know, this is this is what every Cuban coach will tell you Guys you understand, you know when I think of Laughter I think of growing up in my mother's bar and listening to all these little fucking anecdotes that they had And just leaving the room with tears in my eyes now the superstitions guy Lee Was it an accident that you got a Cuban coach or did you purposely seek it out? I mean the environment it's it's it's all Cuban, you know, so it was It it's all my coaches are Cuban and just yeah Okay, what like was it is it important to you cuz I know I know it's just seeing you guys together for five minutes

It's it's amazing to see the connection No, I definitely have like Like I would want if the best coach in the fighter was was Cuban We want to be with him, but when I started I was just like let me let me just get the best guy that could teach me No, I didn't care where he was from. It just happens to be that he's Cuban and he's awesome When did he defect here? He defected Like 16 years ago, he defected to What's this place we go top on by is

Columbia no, not Columbia Ecuador Bolivia Bolivia Bolivia he went to Chile then he went to Bolivia He got a lady pregnant had two kids with us and he brought them over here and That's it. He started his career. You know, and he's a great coach. He coaches Kobe as well He coaches our jaw a medal and he has a couple of the guys that are coming You know, so but he has the Cuban mentality all the straight mentality which is Yeah, cute the Cuban boxing and he was in the team for Taekwondo, so I was where he started

He did Taekwondo. He actually has like a has a couple world medals in Taekwondo He's one of the first Cubans to get like a medal in Taekwondo from Cuba When I grew up, I was surrounded with this one Cuban dude He used to tell me no, I'm not a mutt to get the complicate And you want me to say something when I got arrested I got arrested for something I done on the Tuesday So I always think about that motherfucker when I was a kid, he'd always say don't do nothing heavy on the Tuesday You're gonna get complicated Tuesdays. They're not good days for Cubans. Yeah That's that's so much so much

Before you even leave that front door your mom is telling you something or something else and then It's you know, when you step outside of that world and you have like regular people friends. Yes It's like, oh, what the fuck is wrong with your family, man? I Wouldn't bring people all my house. I Could not bring people all my house as a child Till today when I see people they go, hey, how you doing? Man, I still remember your house your mom Going in there and there was a fucking my mom had an altar. I Mean when you open the door, okay? There was a fucking table not a little more

Like I have a little or I have a little altar with three glasses on there I'm supposed to have seven or 22 glasses. I ain't got that many glasses. I'm saying I'll give you three I'll cut your deal. I'll give you three I'll put the pictures a year and I'll light a candle every Monday and we're even okay take that I give a lot some grain alcohol every Monday and stick to my goods. I was raised on that I saw how important it was to my mom on Mondays on Mondays whatever she would cook She would feed the fucking spirits first. Oh, yeah, it's it's it's fucking it's crazy. It's surreal It's surreal and you sit there as a kid and you're embarrassed. You can't bring your friends over

Yeah, cuz uh, you know, um You'd have like a bunch of food and fruits to like the ones that do it big like the ones that were ballin Getting rid of the keys every month They're the ones that had the biggest shrines the biggest altars and you would get to you'd be like why is there 300 dollars worth of Food in front of this statue. What the fuck is going on when I was six years old? I couldn't understand it. I was like, what the fuck is this? Don't touch the food. Oh, don't touch the food Whatever you do do not touch the fruit. Don't touch anything Listen dog

My mother had a six foot Sam Lazar on the living room and the thing around his head was made of gold Real gold real gold. Okay When I when I was a kid, I'd open up the door upstairs to go get milk and I thought it was somebody in my living room You understand I could not bring people to my house She had a table with an altar With 20 million glasses and then that table was in there like why or goon a fucking gun Money and it was closed and then you know walked in the house And there was the six foot fucking Saint Lazar on the left-hand side

And then you went upstairs and then that closet you opened up that closet. God fucking forbid You know downstairs the same thing they had like a mini altar when you walked into my mother's bar in Union City And you opened the door in the corner was an altar with Santa Barbara in the corner done Done that's distort and on the 4th of December on the 3rd of December. It was on I Was telling my wife today. That's it. This officially is Cuban season and My world how I grew up after San Lazaro that don't stop till the 7th of January. That's when they give you cash They don't stop. It's food and go Melata and the night before Christmas That I think it's either 23rd is when they stay up all night and cook the pig and they drink and they pray and they listen to music

And they talk about the old country Then they sleep and they get ready for fucking Christmas Eve. It's a fucking. It's crazy. It's madness. I Still can't get over not touching the food and the fruits and stuff You know, especially when my friends will come over that what was going on with your home What you got all this shit out here for like don't touch it. If you touch it. We're all dead. Don't touch it. I Never touched the fruit. I hate it when they killed the chicken And then they cooked the chicken but they left the LA wild with the feathers on top of it And then they would feed the fucking LA wild real food. That one I never saw. Oh, that's the real dear holy feel

That's that's why I grew up and sometimes they do it in the bathroom. We had a pee outside I wouldn't go in there with the fucking chicken and the feathers. What are you crazy? I'm not going in there So one of the earliest memories I have a sanctuary is my mom We were living on We moved to 205 West 88th Street, but before that we lived on Riverside motherfucking drive There was a dentist in the building. I mean, we're really cute. This is the 69 1970 and one day she had a sacrifice a goat dog and She'd done a whole goat like a baby one. Oh, yeah

I think a baby goat and I'll never forget being a kid and her walking with the goat into the elevator And there were like three white business people and the goat put the brakes on Well, he locked his arms. I'm not going in the elevator. My mom dragged that motherfuck on the elevator those people were petrified They were petrified. That's when you know, you're a Cuban savage When you bring a fucking goat home dog with that, but trauma does that do to you as a kid is a six-year-old kid You're like is my mom right or are these people? Yeah, I had no idea what's going on. I had no idea. I was see I was raised real Catholic

Like all right off the bat. I want you know, when I was growing up Talamundo had a show about some Martin de porre So as I was learning to speak English, I would still watch this show about this little black saint He was the original kung fu He would try to beat nobody up. He would just heal people So I dug the Catholicism thing. I always dug the Catholicism thing, but I was a sickly kid. My dad had died So I was always From fucking day one the threat in my house was if you misbehave they are among That was the threat in my house, which meant if you fuck around

I will take you to the nuns and that's lights out what I do to you is mild What the nuns are gonna do to you so in my world from kindergarten To the third grade I was threatened with the fucking nuns in the third grade They finally fed me to the nuns and they fed me Cuban style where you go on Sundays and come back home on Thursdays Oh, the first day we're gonna send me to Loyola Academy in Miami And I was gonna stay down there with them and go it's a military academy when I was a kid. Is it still there? I don't I don't think so. That was the big one in Miami that when you went in on you if you went in there You came on who so down?

By When I'll send you down there you come back a soldier that was always the threat you fuck up I will send you the fucking Rodolfo's and you will go to Loyola and you come out of the eight a mando palahecito Yeah, that was always the threat, which I was okay with that wasn't a bad deal for me at that time But the eminent threat was La Monja Okay, that was the first treatment the second treatment is I'll send you away. Yeah, you don't want to we don't want to listen To me. I'll send you to Loyola. You come out eat a lot of palahecito off a hot devaya And then you come out and you become a lot and you protect all my criminal buddies

It was fucking crazy So that was my two options. So they finally in the third grade they put me for La Monja and For the whole school year probably you went in on from September to June In the Spanish Monja's so they didn't let you have no no they were Italian Monja Oh, even worse and they fucking and half the student body King Monja's was a major threat growing up. Oh, that was terrible Lee that's like probably the equivalent of sending you to some fucking Jewish school where they could backhand you is that exist? I'm sure does somewhere. Yeah, there's got to be like a junior radical Judy's where they fucking rip you here apart to shit

So what are Monca's Monca is a no, oh, okay. Oh, and also a five dollar bill. Oh, yeah, I'm not Monca It's also a five dollar bill So it doubles and so wait, so you're saying did you know that Becky of Monha is a fighter So if I come to you, I'm on a moment That's five dollars. You'd rather go to a military Academy At that point I didn't want to go get beat up by nuns But the problem with the military Academy was it was a little bit up. I mean, I didn't mind going away for school But I was a mama's boy dog. I want to be close to moms

Who doesn't? So the one in Jersey was 20 minutes away She could bring me shit during the week and she picked me up on Thursday. There's no big fucking deal Monha's Thursday through I wouldn't have done it. They would have kicked me out I got I got the same threat because my half of my family's Catholic So that's I would not be with them on the weekends or whatever what now if I was getting while there was the same threat You think this is a game we'll send you over there. They'll fucking take it for free and we'll never see you again until you're like 18 years old I'll be like, no, fuck. Am I gonna go there?

And then the other side was Christian other side. No, the other side was Catholic and then mixed with the with the usual Cuban mythologies, you know I love the new joy. We were such a you're so Bad at three and four that you're really going to that school. Is that a exit? No, it was when I got the kindergarten The threat started I got the kindergarten. I just you know, my dad had died And my mom I was a mama's boy and she had a bar george. She wasn't there. What the fuck? No, she brought me to the bar They killed but there's no they care the cubans. No, they can no they they say with your brima

You go to the fucking job or you go to the job and you sit there If you fucking move, I'll stab me in the fucking neck So I would be in the bar when I would hear these Old school cubans talking and I would how? They would say things to me. I would fucking die and laugh to this day. I think you know me. I don't lose it You know shit like that. They tell you this shit when you attend that you just blush. Oh, yeah There's a From being around different cultures not just because it's our own culture

But human people are fucking hilarious hilarious, especially the old timers and shit how I got to recognize you is I'm watching fucking u.s. C1. I mind in my own business. I'm a little stoned. Whatever You know, I might hear things, you know, sometimes you just hear things Sometimes I I hear my mother's voice. Who the fuck knows and I'm watching this kid fight. He's moving around Oh, yeah, and I'm watching you and I'm going whatever I was born a reeking kid, but I don't even know who you were fighting or whatever But I heard, you know Dolly Dolly Dolly

met the long guy at also now For people for the untrained down like I told Joe Rogan met the long guy at also is The weirdest fucking thing in the world for a coach to say Yeah, but it's the attitude that that word means One guy at also said open hand smack right to the face right to the fucking piece Met the long guy at also, you know, he would say those type of things and I'd be at home howling I I was telling Lee the last week. I went to jiu-jitsu at night one night

I had a meeting of the daytime that bothered me I like going to jiu-jitsu on monday because at least I got a number on monday I went in once if you wait till twos and then some happen Wednesday Don't go till Thursday and now you're fucked up. So if you could go on monday the jiu-jitsu is nice I couldn't go on the monday and it was eating away at me So I went to the 630 class the 630 class a little mixed. It's not as big the savages don't get there till 830 There was two kids throwing each other around

Like they were at the u.s.c When I'm talking picking each other up and body slamming each other And finally the coach even goes to professor goes guys guys. We think this is the kid popped up his nose is bleeding The coach is like you gotta knock it off man. He goes. He's my brother. He needs to toughen up The kid walks off the mat the little 12 year old is fixing his geek. He looks up at me. He goes You want to go? You know, I looked at him and then I told The when I went to class Wednesday, I told professor a professor how you how fucked up was that the other thing was no

It gets better their mom dropped them off in here. We could go She had to call 911 on them twice Because they tore up the living room wrestling and throwing each other around They broke up the living room. They're fucking savages. Nice when I was a kid and I ran with little human kids That's what we did Yeah, we threw ourselves when I go to Miami Yeah, but you didn't do it in the in the house. So you get you get extinction level. You didn't ever do something I started in the house. Oh, yeah, when Charles Bronson when you're cubing and you first see Charles Bronson

You know, that's another thing like the dog Did your parents have the the couches with the plastic on it? Absolutely. You couldn't fuck around there No, no, no, no, no, no. I broke my mother's chinese doll So the deal was I either had to pay for the dolls which you cleaned out my account Or I had to give up my dentist. I used to suck pacifiers when I was five and six Yeah, I think that's another cute thing Yeah, I would keep doing like a cigarette like I would have him hitting all over the place And if something happened that was heavy, I'd call a time out

Yeah, and I go suck my pacifier and put it down and that's that's like I had cousins to like 10 years old They were still with the pacifier So my mom goes listen the deal is Either you pay for them or you have to give up all your pacifiers I must have had 20 of them stashed all around the house. I'd be watching tv and just going to the couch suck it and put it back Disgusting, but that's what happens when you're a fucking kid That's a good one. Oh my god. I did some crazy. Do you have some in the fridge? No, nothing in the fridge. The fridge my son likes is in the fridge. I keep it in the fridge

It was I was always the odd family on the block Because of my mother in her savagery ways Her her wahido ways the wahido ways. Did you grow up in a wahido house? My my dad and his family they're from lavana, but his his father they're from the country But they were all raised in the city. But no, it's it's like an attitude Yeah, but they were more like uh, I don't know what I would say I know what you mean by wahido just like brutal like she doesn't see anything. No gray nada She's just it's her way and only that way. There's a scene in Scarface. That's very funny because I grew up with a guy

That that was his dream He came from Cuba. Oh, yeah, but I don't call you like that's all he spoke about was uncali la Like it was such a simple dream, you know I'm saying there's a scene in Scarface When he goes to pick her up and she goes, what's that? He goes, it's a Cadillac That was him at that moment. I always thought about that dude That all he wanted was a motherfucking Cadillac. We're in Cadillac. I'm but I grew up around Cubans that thought Steve McQueen Or if they make we're gonna Bob Bob job, but I'm saying Cue in Cue. Well, yeah

They accused him of being cuban and shit Oh my god, so you just came from Sacramento. You cornered whatever Now you got Seroni Seroni January 28th Denver witness the execution life And you you had lying the card. No, call me any back. Who's on the other side? Uh, I think the the main event is juliana panion versus. I can't pronounce other girls names I'm not even gonna butcher jack. Go. It's one of those. Yeah, it's like russian

I don't want to mess it up and then she beats me up. So I'm not even gonna try You've been on a roll lately always man always on the road Traveling training something No, I'm talking about the last one jake ellenberger. Who'd you fight before that after? Oh, I thought you said I was on the road I'm not on the road. Oh, no, my bad. I said on the road before that was uh ross fusion Okay, so you went after this this seroni fight you called them out on twitter and shit Yeah, I just I just wanted to get it done. Um, I don't know. He's always telling everybody in the public that he'll fight anybody any place

A couple chances that came up that he could have fought me earlier. It didn't happen Now it's materialized now. Hopefully thank god it happens Generating 28 and you're ready to rock. I'm ready to rock right now today Like if he came in through that door, he was like, hey, let's do a little sparring session Let's go right down the parking lot heads getting taken off. You know, he's a good dude. He's a good day He's a good dude. He's a really good dude. I'm sure but This is it man. You're you're on the way up, which is Fucking amazing like uh, I saw the hard work for a few years, you know, I didn't know you personally

But we always talk about you, you know, we always like as he fighting who's he fighting This is it. This is this is the fucking world stage right now. It's such a weird fucking career But I compare it a lot to comedy. There's so many fucking comparisons. You know what I'm saying Like I got well, I got I always tell people I got better at comedy from watching MMA Because the worst thing about MMA is when you like a fighter And he wins by knockout All right, he wins by three knockout straight And then he's gonna fight like they put him up against a big fighter

And then the on the countdown he says Dork, I don't think wait till I get my hands on my rights really gonna knock him out And he goes in there with that same attitude and all of a sudden this guy did something different and catches him with that That the guy wasn't expecting So that's why I got into jiu-jitsu. I never wrestled nothing. I played basketball dog I don't know about fucking jiu-jitsu smelling people's feet Fucking people's assholes on your ears. I need that shit in my life. You put your ass in my face

We're gonna fight dog We got a fucking fight when I when I first got into the UFC And I would see like a dude trying to get a camore and and trying to fucking put his asshole over your face And trying to pull your shoulder I would tap and I'd shoot you like I come back with a gun and shoot John Masagati Everybody would get show it. What's the team on time? I might tell them It's uh, I didn't understand it But mma helped me realize that I had a right. I had a story tell I had to use different weapons, bro

I was going up there and doing Rodney danger field. It's funny for six minutes After that like we're not going anywhere We're not going nowhere. You came in here with the right hook again. You didn't train you trained But you came in here. You didn't learn a fucking A triangle You didn't learn how to fucking let it know at all You have to and you have to go in there with a different weapon going there with a different weapon That he ain't even thinking about that you could do

You know The the last fight she went in there with the jumping fucking Bruce Lee Uh front kick she knocked the girl out last night Uh The karate hotty. Oh, yes flipped over her shoulder like nothing happened. It's okay. You you follow me nobody prepares for And Winkle John probably prepared her For the unexpected. Let's see where the fuck she's gonna go here and the plan worked The little chinese girl stuck to a latina by a latina latina

There we go latina's good. It's only a y'all right now joey. She's japanese latina latina If you're in the room today, yeah, Julio Right cubans love jewish people. Oh, yeah, the jubens. No, no, they loved kids. This guy's a jubin. Yeah, no, he's official your first clue Where's your first? Because most people don't think I look like one jubin or yeah jubin. Yeah Well, I I knew a jubin because he had said already before we got here. Oh, okay. That was the first clue It's uh, I look at anime as fucking hard man

Like six days a week training, you know, you got a family. Yeah, it all fucking It just it's fun though. Oh, it's tremendously so much fun I don't know, but you've been doing it for like you're like 82 fights. No, no, I wish I had about 40 40 fucking fights, but you started in people's backyards in the backyards Well, I started really my my dad and he's so proud of you know, cuban fathers day Like if if your son has like a decent arm and baseball and he does like 60s telling everybody my son He's going on the majors throwing 90 miles per hour as you know, how the parents are so my dad is To this day when we go to like to a house party and he's talking to the people

You don't remember I used to take him to the daycare. He was getting kicked out two daycares a week He would always say that since the daycare was getting kicked out for fighting I don't remember any of that because it's I'm too young, but that's that's like his proud moments I don't even know why he's proud of that shit, you know, but he says since I was like two three years old, I was fine And then high school fights. Yeah a couple in high school Not too much, but I knew I wanted to fight them since I was like in middle school I knew I was either gonna do boxing or wrestling one or two and then I seen this thing on tv called ufc That changed my life. I was like, yo, I gotta do that shit

And that's it. I'm here. And what was the first thing you joined? Karali, jiu jitsu Oh boxing and wrestling I joined them both around the same time And when did uh phone fucking kicks come in? When I got with ballino my coach, he's the one see I used to The street mentality was like if you kick you're a girl no offense If you kick you're your chick that's for chicks chicks kick you dudes punch, you know and slam people You can't be doing that jiu jitsu stuff or nothing. So everything I had to like

Deep program myself like learn how to kick and jiu jitsu is cool. I could do it too, you know things like that But at first I used to just think boxing and wrestling only And the backyard stuff that you get paid for that in the beginning. I put money up of we would bet money You know, that was the thing you would do is uh, I would Have like let's say you believed in me like you're all gonna I'm gonna bet money for you, georgia I want to put $5,000 anybody on that side want to match And that's how the best would go down. So me and my friends would get together and come up with x yz dollars and

Same thing on the other side and like that. I did a whole mess of those And how many people on those cards? Uh, not that many sometimes there'd be a couple fights when uh, when I fought um, god rest his soul kimbo fought too and uh I think another fight happened as well. How fucking crazy is that just fighting outside? It's it's crazy. It's crazy when you think about it at the moment It's not that crazy But there was people that were guns if somebody felt like his boy got ripped off she could happen in that sense

It was crazy, but the actual fight wasn't Wasn't too bad That is just fucking nuts like the Just the documentaries that I saw on the black neighborhoods and all that shit And kimbo sliced that fucking crazy It just blows my mind when he used to watch like what and I get it Bro, I get it. It's tremendous. I think it's a great fucking idea It's a great stress reliever and I think it's been happening places. Just nobody ever put it on tape

I think it's been going on for years. Oh for sure. Just nobody put it on tape and it goes on in gyms, bro You go to most gyms. They're fucking battles. Yeah, they don't know about fucking brain surgery or Playing with a ball. They know nothing. They go in there and they fucking fight their lives out When I was a kid, I grew up with the gamuos And the gamu family the father was a fighter in cuba And he had two boys and they ran the pal They were two cuban kids and there's a kid now On facebook carlos neary and his brother was they were all golden glove dudes

And I remember talking to the gamuos and the cuban mentality He trained those kids compared to the other ones He took them somewhere to a tournament and woke them up in three in the morning and made them run The other coaches thought he was fucking crazy, but four the kids won't go metal, you know Yeah, the mentality is different. Yeah, no, especially in in cuban boxing olympic history. We were like We're insane what we've done, you know, it's crazy the number When I was a kid growing up must have been about 10 The big deal in town was a cuban dude who was a judoka who defected after he went to

The cuban sent him to russia as a kid and then he went back to cuban He left on a battleship who the fuck knew But he had a carot. He had a judo school Downtown when I was growing up and I went to see the school one time and this guy drove me crazy george He was pure old school judo cuban Trying to be a judo dude And the only people who brought kids to him were cuban people Yeah, of course because nobody else went in there. It was a different fucking mentality

You know most places he teaches you how to land This guy didn't teach you that shit this Hey He had these kids in there fighting to the death dog They were eight nine, you know, I still talk to one of the kids on the phone. That's still now, you know, he doesn't do it no more But he was telling me goes. I remember when I was 12 He broke his own The teacher broke the old student song. That's how cuban he was

Like that's you know, that's only the cuban world that the cuban dude broke his purple belt's arm I really wanted to get you on the podcast. Listen, you're going to thousand podcasts and talking about fighting You want to fight serenity and stuff and that's fun and dandy But I wanted to explain to people the fighting mentality Of the cuban. Okay in san francisco in 85. I met a guy that if you gave him a hard time He would square off on you joint like if you said oh, yeah, I said it He would square off on you and he said you're so he believed my mother get chocolate So he would threaten you by saying

That he was cousins With a cuban boxer. That's why he was going to fuck you up, you know And for people at home you listen to me go enjoy what's so funny about no this guy committed to it This guy would look at you straight in the face and go tea out there Tea out there. That was the one in the 70s. Tea out there get the oil to that but bingo So like I'll fuck you up. I hope you know who you're messing with I hope you know who you're messing with I hope you oh, yeah, I hope you know who you're messing with and then he would drop the bomb on you

Chocolate was a big fighter in the 50s or 60s this shit. It was 1985 Nobody even knew who kid chocolate was And he was threatening the kid chocolate. What would you have to do to get him to get this pissed off? Would you like poke him or like what would you have to do to get anything? He's so nickel bags So if you tried to like get cute with him, he would say oh, yeah That's that bingo though and he would go the whole route on you I like I said to you my mom died in 79 And then I was thrown into this world which I loved

But I had no Cuban influences at that time and here I get in trouble. I'm running from the cops and I end up in san francisco And one day I just walk into this name. It's called the tenderloin. It's one of the worst neighbors in the fucking world It's still bad today But I grew up in new york city I grew up in north bergain, new jersey And I bought drugs all those years in new york city and I saw more violence in san francisco Those four months that I ever saw in new york city. I saw a guy with his stomach wide open The blood was brown dog

I saw a knife fight on the fucking street the guy had a straight raise and the other guy had like a little sword I saw some fucking shit that ear dog I saw some wild stuff when I used to get off that fucking bus. It was was that uh, LSD or just the guy this is straight up dog Just straight up. They were angry dude. It was like 11 in the morning and I walked to get something And I saw people walking around and I heard a dude moaning And I looked and broke I could see the fucking

part of the brown blood I could see it was open and some guy was calling the ambulance some guy threw a town on him What what ethnicity was this? He was like a white dude. No, but the one's causing the the violence I don't I didn't see no. It was just crazy white people. That was way before that was a year before After you were born. There was a crazy dude in san francisco That was going into people's uh What Richard Ramirez the night stalker

He was going into people's apartments and taking the eyeballs and killing you in the middle night He stayed down the corner from where I was staying in the tent alone That's how bad that neighbor was and one day I went to get a nickel bag At the hotel and it was the FBI waiting for them. They had flashes they go That's why I saw a boogaloo The san francisco the cuban with the two gay guys and he would smack them around if they wouldn't do what he told them So that's the second circular lever on the corner. I lived in in that I stated I went on I was hiding from the cops from boulder

So my logical situation. I love san francisco. I had heard about it. I said, let me go to san francisco Wherever the fucking bus shuttle the airplane shuttle dropped me off I walked and I saw a hotel I checked in I could afford to fight three or four days Then I got a cheaper place where you you live on the third floor On the second floor on the first floor, but It's your own room with cable tv. You got a closet. You got everything you need, but the bathroom's in the hallway So you got to wake up in the middle of the night and lock your door and go lock

It had the the ac on the window. Yeah ac on the window wasn't a bad little play 85 hours a week You know any bad places this is 1985 guys and you're living in the heart of the tenderloin And I walked down the corner one day like I said my mom was dead I didn't have that cuban thing in my life no more and I was just walking down the street minding my business dog And I just heard the cuban chatter And I'll never forget the poodle the one day I heard him Some dude was talking to him in english

A mexican dude was talking to him in english and he looked him straight in the face dog 1985 I still remember he said to him He looked at me and he goes He told this guy basically To speak to him in spanish and stop speaking him in english You know how many kicks in the ass the americans kicked you as a matter of fact california was yours. You dumb fuck speaking spanish I mean He and that's how I've made that's that's the cuban means like the proud like the proud cuban. I speak spanish

I'm fully fluent in it and I'm gonna speak it at all times. You know that's just a different mentality than a lot of other Like latin people I think So it was a weird time because he had white hair and he was old So every day I would go down there and if I made money doing something helping the cubans if they robbed somebody and they had Travelers chest because they were all money elitos And these guys These guys were labeled money elitos. So right away you assumed the worst But once you talked to them these guys were electrical engineers

that who were thrown in jail because They didn't go to work one day or they found the cassette on them You know they'd go in jail for three fucking years and then they were disgraced to their family So they asked them if they wanted to come here. They'll have to family stayed that's what A couple weeks ago when castro died, you know, you had this this split thing in this country And it's like I understand forgiving but before you forgive. I want you to understand what happened And so I was telling you before with sellya

I could tell you to hate lia becky And all of a sudden one day you wake up and go. Why do I hate lia and becky? You know, that's all I felt about for doubt 10 years ago. I'm like, I don't hate them no more, but I grew up in a society where Everybody around them hate them and then I watched that sellya show and by episode 20 He's fucking throwing some heat to down. I'm like, ah, I remember why these fucking gibbons hate them, you know but it was so weird how all these people like Julie stein and all these people were like fidel did this and this and I'm like, I don't understand if she knew the magnitude I don't think any of any of the americans are they really know what

What type of tyrant he was, you know what type of killer he was just because he was in control of the courts And the whole entire system doesn't mean that he was a mass murderer, you know I personally in my family lost a lot of land and people died of my family So I would he stole he's not when I was young but once I was already of like they thought I was of age It would always drop the knowledge on me And people don't know in this country this guy's a tyrant, you know, he's not no political figure or no leader none, you know You know when that stuff all happened somebody's just telling me that they read something where You said your dad

Was out and see for 15 days. No, no, no, he was out three days three days It took them to get from three or five days. I don't remember now Yeah, he got uh, he left from Cuba. They got a tire track and they turned it into a raft Him his friend and his friend's uncle and they just boom. They took off, you know, they they uh They rigged like bottles of water And they dragged it through the sea because I don't know why it wouldn't fit on the thing I don't know what what was the thing somehow though one of their bottles got like a contaminated had a hole so it got Fucking salt water in it. So they didn't have nothing to drink for like three days out in the sea

Crazy and they landed in Miami. No in the virgin islands. They got scooped up like uh By like their water patrol or whatever They were like right about to make it to the island They scooped them up from the virgin island and then from there he went to Miami That's the question I always have for people that I want you to think about Looking at your family and going, you know what man? I've had enough Enough is enough

You know, I'm gonna make a raft tonight And I'm gonna get on it in los angeles And I'm gonna go to san diego with the shirt on my back Mm-hmm Some fucking two gallons of water. That's all I could hold And saltine crackers in a language. I don't speak Forget about the fucking language. George must have I'm gonna jump in a fucking

Shark infested water That's where tornadoes and hurricanes start. I'm not tornadoes, but the hurricane start out there right there at that point That's in the humidity is insane to and the sun is it's just beating on you the whole time What did your dad say about it? It's it's a pretty interesting story that he says like on day number three They had a like a paddle So he puts it up and a pigeon's flying in the land right on it So he's like he starts bringing it down

And of course the one of the guys is the superstitious dude on the boat and he tells my dad He's like don't even think about touching that bird. That's a sign. We're gonna make it My dad's like, all right, he shakes the stick and then they keep rolling rolling. He says like an hour later He's dead tired, you know, because he was he was one of the ones that was more fit So he was rolling most of the time so he puts the stick on the thing and the pigeon comes back And again, my dad starts rolling the stick till I try to get the pigeon and the guy's like, no, bro I told you it's a sign. He goes, you're right. It's a sign watch He got him. He said he was so thirsty that he just didn't even hesitate snapped his neck

Drunk some of the blood and I was like, you're kidding me. He's like, no, I was so thirsty that I didn't I just thought like I need fluids You know, so they ate that fucking pigeon and drunk that blood Sounds like some devil worship and shit, but it's just survival at that point, you know When he told me that I was like, man, how thirsty could you be? And if you're a fighter and you've cut weight, you do get to those like I could drink blood right now if I could I can't I every time I wake up some mornings. I'm like, fuck how lucky am I? But I didn't have to fucking get on a wrap today

like You ever seen the videos of because it's you have to be in dry land, right? So when you get off the raft if you're in the water still they get to the port rise So you got a race to the dry land to where the sand is dry. You ever seen the videos? It's like football like they get off the raft and they're trying to beat the the guards to get to the dry land Those are intense. You see somebody fighting for their life after they already got off a raft for like three four days It's fucking nuts. Well, there was a script going around here about four years ago That somebody showed me that

It was a dude Wrote that went through the whole Cuban thing and they were trying to get funding for it, which I never understood Because I'm paramount. I buy this fucking thing and put it with every Spanish actor I know and break the box office It was a route really went on during the Mario Harbor thing and it was These guys that would go to Cuba

I would go come in bro. George. Come in. Are you with me go to Cuba? Get the boat go to Cuba and look for Lisa at and his wife And you go right no problem and you get in your boat go And then you call me and go I got them but it's of course you ten thousand dollars Like they were doing some fucked up shit Like throwing people off boats and shit and paying the money Yeah, it became like fucking Chinese trafficking. Yeah the Mario Harbor thing. They were bringing them over Oh my god

It's crazy. It was fucking crazy man. Now the big thing is trafficking the athletes like the top-notch baseball players That is a whole uh huge thing, you know, it's getting those guys over because they the guys that bring them over They're gonna manage them. They're gonna take over their career. So they're getting them over from one way or another and Be catching it big time on those. No, what happened with this last kid? Do you know anything about this kid? Do you see him down there? He's nuts, right? Which one? Yeah, yeah, pp week, whatever. Yeah, he lives down there in the off season. That dude's wearing pink panties and All right, man, and he was just super athlete like I've seen him. Oh, he's tremendous. Yeah

I don't I don't watch much baseball, but it seemed like highlights of him and he looks like just super athlete, you know That's the dude they got to the ui, right? He got something doing 90 down there in miami in a sports company. That's the one that's wild. Yeah There's a couple of them that are wild imagine you go from having nothing To 20 million dollars One day, you know, you come from that cuban communist government. We didn't have shit and then Seven months later at my strength and conditioning gym There's a couple cubans that go there and they do the conditioning and it's the same story they came here

Living in an efficiency and somebody's like rented it Room of a house that has like no living room No, nothing just a bathroom and that's it and like a little mattress and then like 10 months later 17 million dollar contract You can't even blame them. They're gonna they go wild man Now, what have you heard they do to the families? Oh, no, they'd be taking care of their families. I've heard a lot of good stuff Like from the guys that I know everybody gets taken care of but no cuban government don't be All the donkeys at the house

It's not as bad as it used to be. I think nowhere near as bad from what I've heard from the athletes themselves, you know Like in the 80s, I would hear was way crazier than like the 2000s How long have you been in the u.s.c. for now? I'm gonna have to get the 60 years seven years. No, I don't even know. I think like four years. That's fucking amazing, brother. You got up to that level When I heard you were cuban, I was fucking happy and I was like, Jesus christ These motherfuckers this fell. What's a mentally explain that? Like explain what's like because for me, I don't have anyone in the u.s.c. like that

I don't have anyone that I connect with Just because like I don't know There's no jews. No, no jews to the stone in the u.s.c. Is that what you're saying? There's no jews in the u.s.c. They run the fucking show I'm sure there are some they run the show for jewish fighters, but uh I don't know. I just it's I've never seen i've never had a connection with a jewish person One of the best i've never just seen a jewish person be like, oh my god

You know bagels and like you guys are talking for what are you talking about? I don't do that. I don't do that with jewish people so It was interesting to see. I don't know. I guess it's normal to you guys, but to me To for for normal for other ethnicities. It's not like oh my god. There's some there's another irish person. Oh my god Like I don't know let me tell you one. I have a I know. I know what you mean. I understand I'm starting at josh wolf a friend of mine a comedian And he was asking me if I wanted to have uh freddy prince jr. On the show

And I said to him absolutely he was he's really cool. He's into amen ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba, you know And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I'd like to have him on the show And then I went home and I started thinking about it And at one point bro, I got overwhelmed and my tears came out And I started crying, you know When I was fucking 10 TV and i'm not talking about tv like

You know, you have your baseball idols. You have all these idols this motherfucker showed up called pretty prince That he was Puerto Rican bro. He talked about it In 1973 this motherfucker was hosting the tonight show So you think about it as a as a cuban again You're like look at this badass Puerto Rican hosting the fucking tonight show. That was my dog Dog will never fucking so friday nights. I didn't give a fuck what was going on I would sit at home and watch sanford and son of eight and fucking chico and the man at 8 30 I didn't give a fuck why because he was Puerto fucking rican and i'm cuban and had nothing to do with it

But he's still my boy He was still my boy. I was 10. I was 11 and then when I was 11 on friday nights There was a kid that was older than me I lent the money And he moved to miami and same as alamaca But alamaca had a girlfriend that was banging. I was probably 12, which was probably 14 That she used to always give him hickeys and shit. I knew they were doing crazy stuff at that age I didn't know what they were doing. I swear. I didn't know what was going on

So on friday nights won't tell you don't make a move to Miami I would always ask alona that she fucking did he ever send you the money he owed me and she was saying no no he didn't And this one I'm for a couple months But on friday night, she would call me and she'd go can I come over there at this age? I knew nothing about sex. No, then I would have any interest. This is in my world. I was raised This was able to make this fucking girlfriend But one day we started swapping spit and we started sucking the little titties and shit and fucking She let me finger her and after six weeks the debt was paid. You know what i'm saying?

You didn't pay me but your girlfriend did pay in the flesh What the fuck and I would sit there and watch saffron and something we'd order pizza and that would be my friday nights All right, that's a serious friday night and she moved away until this day the little put me in my life I swear to god that every six months I go on facebook when I type in alona mertens and I still can't find the fish Put some fucking tony bennett out. I gotta go to bathroom real quick. What was going on out there hit me a second Yeah, she's out there Well, thank you guys To pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart

So we're stolen somebody I So what's the what's the plan from here where you go from LA back to miami miami florida And that's where you train full-time. Yeah, I train uh in between majami and coconut creek. It's about uh Like an hour north for miami Nice my dad lives down there. We're in uh boing beach boing beach. I don't man. I know where it is I know I've been there, but I just I get confused. There's so many beaches like 30 beaches over there. You know, they all have a name

It's like a retirement boat, I think or community like the whole area They have a bunch of those in florida This retirement like capital, I think So how did this fight happen like because I know We like yesterday we experienced making all he calls people out Did uh cowboy did you call cowboy out the cowboy call you how did this fight happen? Because I know cowboy wanted to go do denver. So we called out denver basically

Well, the whole thing started I was gonna fight kevin gaslam which at the time was number five They ended up pulling them to fight cowboy This dude misses weight by 10 pounds And um at that moment when I find out I say hey, I'll fight right away. You know, I'll I'll take the fight I have what 10 hours to make the way I'll make the way and I'll fight this guy on saturday, which was november 5th in the new york card And uh, it didn't happen, you know, and then I just kept calling for cowboy and fucking I finally got it, you know That's awesome, man. Yeah. Now. What's your when do you go into the official training camp usually today?

Okay, so that starts. Yeah, hell yeah, I'll be hitting the streets later jogging doing something. Really? Yeah I have to do something. I have like uh Serious 80 years of right now. I'm already like All right. What are you waiting right now right now? I'm having like 188. All right. You gotta drop 18 18 I'll drop probably like from here till I get to Fight week. I'll drop like a good Like 11 pounds of fat right now that I put on in like a week of eating shit And now you're here in taco bill. You're gonna go fucking crazy. I'll go fucking taco up tomorrow

Me and fucking Becky is sitting here wishing to live where you live Because at one in the morning I could call back and go Becky I'm too hard to drive can get me I'll buy you some fucking go get to your papa And you can take it back to your fucking place and watch movies and no you you don't have that you guys will be ruined You'll be destroyed if you go to my family at this stage in your lives if you go there because you're used to something so different Yeah, no, no, no your brother and you could get a colada at four in the morning Just like how your grandma makes it at four in the morning

Thanks for that. Lee would die. Lee doesn't we just have Lee's girlfriend moved in and she goes to bed at 10 Lee gets high and I just gotta sit there 11 30 instead of four walls. I go Lee There's only one thing to do. It's eat. He's like, I know that's it If we had a good place to go at 11 30 We only got denny's and the no-hold diner Both of them you can put your gun in your fucking mouth. It's like russian roulette You don't know what you're gonna get. You don't know what the fuck you're gonna get at the both of them

Denny's listen. I look at the the eggs even suspect the denny's. That's why I get on sunny side up I don't trust nothing. You get those potted eggs You get a headache. It's like drinking beer at the stadium How many denny's are here? Oh a thousand thousand. Yeah, they love so at least you could go like Different dining dashes on the denny's. No, you can't You can't dine at that. We're gonna dine at dash on like a six dollar meal They'll throw you in fucking jail for that for two years. I've been And I'll admit this I did that all the way up to like I started making like decent money

I would do the dining dashes. I would tip out the waitress And then I would just take off like a lot of my partners from ATT will tell you like they don't even want to go With me because I'll be like, yo, I'm gonna come right back. I'm gonna go to the cart. They know I'm gone I'm gone Even still to this day, if somebody takes me to a place that is shitty You take me to a place that's weak sauce and you're labouching for no, this place is good Especially after training. I'm hungry. I want to eat good food. Oh my god You take me to a place that's shitty all my teammates. No, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go to the car

If you don't cover that, I don't know who is because That one that's the guaranteed one I have not dined and dashed in 25 fucking years But that's what you got to do at denny's though because the food is so yes, you have to that's what those are for No, those poor people. No, you leave the waitress the tip, but that food comes from You don't want to throw it away. Anyway, he's just playing. He's just walk out of there I did that dog in 1985. I tormented What the fuck it was a national chain at the time and had the best chicken wings, bro

And on monday nights, they had free chicken wings during monday night football and monday night football was monday night football It was in fortly, new jersey. I used to fucking talk to the manager With the check in my hand. I would tip out the waitress And I would walk out of there with the fucking ticket. I did this every fucking week for six months You see you did the same guilty pleasure and then there was another one. I used to do the wing The wing fang chinese restaurant Well, that's why I learned how to fucking dine in that was in jersey. Yeah, i'm bergen line boulevard You guys got good chinese food over there, man. You've had florida chinese food. It's such a weak sauce. Let me tell you something

Dave when I used to stay in coconut grove From 98 to 2003. I got a friend irish. He lives up north now in tampa irish was a waiter at uh At the impromptu. He was from new york city and he found the place down there bro, miami Oh shit New york style. Yeah, well sanatria used to go eat. It's in a fucked up area But they got the leather couches

They still give you the noodles one mirrors everywhere. Yes, bearers go to eat her Yeah, no, no, no, miami's got good food. Don't have to get confused. No, no, no, miami's got great food And here's for new york for for chinese food New york is the good new york is the good problem with miami is the problem with LA You can either pay 22 dollars for it or you can pay four dollars for it. It's your choice and you're getting the same fucking Yeah, it's the same fucking thing. You could be an asshole Or you could be a fucking asshole That's the problem with miami like my friend when you call me up upset as fuck

And he goes joey, i don't mean to bother you You know, I grew up in new york city My friend's cousin married a cuban woman I went to gloria stefan's restaurant and I spent the 108 dollars and it really wasn't any good. I said, well, who sent you there You're in miami. Why would you go to gloria stefan's restaurant? But this will make sense. So because if you don't know the culture, you're just right. No, he didn't know The first name that pops in your head for so yeah, i've never been to miami. What do you gather? Did you get cuban food? Is that what you got cuban? No, you go to miami. They got a cheese burger leave

No, what the fuck do you go to miami for a cocksucker? That's what we would do. Let's come get a cheese burger My friend told me the fucking fries are gone You go to fucking miami league. You gotta get cuban food and fish and jewish food Go to a nice jewish neighborhood get some nice jewish food. It's kicking up there, brother That was a real jews of miami. That's my elanski jack All right, all right, but here's the beauty about cuban food that Like i said, it'll give you heart attack. It won't give me a heart attack, but like i said, you know, i'll give you whatever you want Uh, whatever you want for your food. I'll give you i just want the food

To be really really good in a really really certain way, you know No, once you've tasted good legit food of wherever you're from like mexicans They don't eat like taco bell and then you we get it, you know, it does it's not up to your standards Cuban food is hard to find. It's good though. That's why i hardly ever eat it outside of miami I would have to you would have to tell me like no this place is Legit good when i go to miami. I go to three places. I go to a place Here's how fucking ghetto i am Why he don't tell us anymore say that i go to a place that you buy the cuban food by the pound

Okay, okay, that's how we're talking. That's how dirty That's how dirty Ladies and gentlemen, I got a place on south beach. Becky comes to south beach with me Yeah, i finger bang i take it to the cuban place on south beach. She goes fucking crazy Becky will go crazy. There's a gay waiter at this place. Say yama Portasawa I'll take you to portasagua. Becky. I'll fucking wine and dine your bed. You'll you'll had to explode Becky But then the following day

I'm gonna park a car in a place where all you hear is spanish Right from the fucking minute you park Becky All you hear is spanish You're like where the fuck am i in screaming spanish screaming spanish and then you go into a bodega And they got spanish music on And they got a counter like you know those chinese restaurants that suck No, no, they have cuban ones like that and you go in there 1145. They be kind of yours fresh The fucking white rice is fresh. It's intense

The black beans are fresh. You see the olives floating They got the fried bananas. They got the maduros and it's for people like you and I We don't want to get fucking. We don't want you don't need to i'm it's like uh The chicken fucking uh pretty woman Listen, you don't need to eat the strawberries and the champagne. This is the short thing. This is the short and backy when you ring it It's 699 499 backy. It's a 10 Becky a fucking 10 a food that they have to fucking seal it and you take it home my hand

499 and also you start pouring it and going where do all this peak out of you come from joey? You want half of this Joe is not to feed our family. It's enough to feed a family. You could and you can buy the cuban bread right then and then Right then and then back 99 cents It's fucking tremendous. I love this type of fucking restaurant I have a friend that as soon as I land in miami picks me up and he's white and that's where we go He goes, that's this is the best I know. Have you been to paraceluhu? I've been to a bunch. I just don't know the names no more

That one's like a nice chain is taking it's it's been they've been around for like 10 15 years But now they're starting to put like more chains. They're legit Official juices, you know, like the mame's the body of my mate what do you three go? And then they got the food the food by the pound section The problem with me dog I've eliminated two things in my diet 15 years ago because they don't serve me any good And that's what I'm talking about. They don't know me

You have to eliminate those that you're at my age I look at water and I get fat by these are my mate for me Because you don't just have one I'm about to go there you go. You just don't have one Yeah, you just don't have one of those you get addicted from the four or five days because it takes you back to your childhood Once I hit him like a couple years ago one a good body of my mate salt There's a place in hollywood that would sell the frozen mame not the gory one. That's kind of fugezi The other one

There's another one they use in miami. That's the real deal La fruta something weird They used to sell it down there when I got up to 418 when I did the longest yard. I got into those Late night four in the morning with vanilla ice cream and milk And you got to put the motherfucking sugar in there. You got to put the sugar in there. You have to put the sugar in there back It's all over That's why I don't fuck with that stuff and what I put seven grams of sugar Yeah, I look like half a teaspoon of salt and that's it

Sledge it and while I pull the sugar cane juice Listen, man that I that I could oh I would have discipline for that that wouldn't drive me crazy But by the oh my maze when I was a kid I used to go this place in a union city called Hernandez, okay first off when you walked in When you walked in Hernandez had a counter and on the glass Was a thousand sandwiches Already with ham and cheese already on it. All right Thousands of Cuban sandwiches already stacked up

You wouldn't even see mr. Hernandez till you walked to the top He would go, oh sintonia. What's happening? What's happening, mr. Hernandez? What are you looking at tonight? You could tell and then on this side here Cuban sandwiches and on this side here million inches and it could be he would close at four So you go in there to 30 and go miss that none. Give me a Cuban sandwich. He pulled that Red off the fucking thing open it up Take the fresh pork slice it for you Then he turned around put the grill up and put fresh butter on the fucking thing

And he put that thing and toasted for you Jesus fucking Christ backy and while you're waiting. What do you want? Let me get two But I don't why I Do you guess what for me please? That's my and that's shit, bro. You do that for three days. You get on the scale It's the worst diet in the world. It's fucking nuts the worst the worst It's meant to destroy I do anything to do it fucking. So you stay away from all that shit the next four or five weeks

No, because i'm not perfect I wish if I had that type of discipline I'd be a lot further in my career. I think but no, at least once a week I'll fucking do a full Go on out. So just one type of latin meal that I really really like I really like Peruvian food too I love that food. It's That and Cuban food is my two favorites. I think And you enjoy living down in miami the training is tremendous for you. Yeah, it's awesome. It's awesome

And these trainers you've been with for a while my head my head coach. Yeah, Paulino Nandis. I've been with him I'm gonna do the math in my head. It's gonna take a second. Okay. And then who's your Thai coach and stuff The guy that i'm working with now that i've been working with is uh, gregory choplin He's uh, the wba wbc 168 champion right now currently And what about jiu-jitsu and jiu-jitsu? Uh, mike brown Mike thomas brown for my wrestling and jiu-jitsu. Okay So they cover you the next weeks nutrition. You have nutrition guy that comes in Yeah, me I know a lot about that shit. I stay away from Cuban food. That's it. I'm fine. That's it really

That's it for me. No special milkshakes. No, I don't when I used to fight at 55 I had a very very strict diet and um, I had different nutritionists and through meeting these different people I've picked up from each diet that they've given me something that actually worked, you know Because you you work for somebody for six seven eight weeks months or whatever You would get different results from each one. So I got the best ones out of everything and I just Put it together making my way, you know, and you work in Miami with different coaches then once a week you go up to ATT No, I go up the ATT

Probably every day or every other day. Yeah Like three to four times. I I do a lot of my sparring and my grappling there That's a great place. Yeah. Yeah, we got a lot of bodies a lot of good wrestlers a lot of good strikers So it's it's a great place to shop in the tools You enjoy this brother. I love this man. It's um It's like how people go to play basketball. That's their thing. They want to fucking ball out They want to dunk on somebody. That's that's what excites them. This is what gets me out of bed. This is what you know wakes me up You know, it's so weird when you see the prelims and you watch the

You see these guys that go out there and they're fucking fighting it out And then get into the next level the next level is where you're at now right now. You're starting right now. This is it This is This is the real deal Holyfield. You fuck some people up. But Now you gotta go in there and fuck this fucking savage. I gotta fuck this dude up and uh He's he's guaranteed That this fight doesn't go the distance. I said it about Jake. I didn't like the ending, but I'll tell you He won't see the final bow. I guarantee

I'm so confident that I'm just hoping I'm the underdog I have a lot of money saved cash money The banks don't know about that. I'm gonna put on myself if I'm the underdog That's how confident I am and the amount is a decent amount. I'm hoping I'm praying them like a big underdog That's how confident you feel that good about your striking and yet No, I just really like good about this fight, you know, it's him that I feel real good about That's so much even me You know all those years when uh

The same francisco 49 is Joe montana. We're fantastic. They can never beat the new No, only in saints the new only in saints always figured out How to beat joe montana? Maybe you have the answer Oh, I got several answers. See that's the thing. Maybe you see something nobody else has seen Oh, no, no, I see I see what everybody else sees What what I think about cowboy you guys are There's a midget in his mind, you know, he doesn't like the fight man And he doesn't like to get hit in certain places

And I don't give a fuck to get hit not that to put like a tough guy acting on but when when the pressure's on for him I see those moments that he breaks that he starts to wheel down Then he knows what I'm talking about like if he's hearing this or when he gets to hear this He'll he'll agree when the when the pressure's hot in the kitchen when he's wrestling hard and he doesn't like that You know, he doesn't like his heart rate getting up there and that's what I'm gonna bring to the fight I'm gonna get his heart rate up there several times while bringing a lot of What's the word uh A lot of discomfort to his face and he's not gonna like the pace

All right I just think about it and I get excited right now. I can see that you're getting fired up. Yeah I can't wait And you and I both know that you can't let the cuban come out because that'll always kill us at the end of the Emotion. No, no, no cuban always has to come out at one point and you gotta calm the cuban down every time the cuban shows up That's always a bad situation. It's always bad for me. I go home and I regret it. I said something wrong You got a little bit too loud. Yeah, you'll get a little bit too loud Lift the table

Well, don't you need that in a fight or no or Do you agree with Joey? They don't need it The cuban yeah Um To really translate it it's who you really are It's a certain spirit You know, it's a certain spirit for me like I'm not a fighter but when I go on stage and my energy is on

It's something from who the fuck how I was raised In that crazy this house, you know I really like having Becky around because when I see Becky She's a piece of who I am. You know what I'm saying? If I go off she gets it There's no she gets it. Yeah, there's no problem. This she saw this when she was four or five Yeah, she knows about the yelling the screaming The same shit the mild racism You know and Nietzsche and Nietzsche Latina, you know, it's uh

It's a really hard mentality for people to understand and the people I grew up with in jersey They get it like the people I grew up with they got it, you know But the cuban thing Jesus christ, I went through so many changes as a cuban young man You know what I'm saying? Like I went through so many fucking changes, bro Because I was raised by a guy that he was not allowed in a room with a gay man Okay, this is what I'm saying to you. There's a cuban mentality. That's out there That's out there

And I and I grew up I grew up with a guy that Wasn't allowed to be in a room with a gay guy You couldn't call him his nickname You understand me so his nickname is Guadalupe Hinto Okay, if you call them Guadalupe Hinto You could get stabbed George and the legal I tell you as a man If you call them Guadalupe Hinto, you could get stabbed depending on what type of day he was at

Okay, and I tell you this in a serious way. Like he looked you straight in the face and go You don't know me well enough. You don't know me well enough to go to call me that. Okay, so I appreciate Yeah, you know, I grew up with a guy that It was just fucking overwhelming It was over fucking well me And that's the reason why him and my mother broke up You know, he didn't like he would go to the bar and just sit there. My mom would go. You can't sit here like a putz You got to mingle with these people now

They were all looking at your ass and go home. What the fuck are you sitting here for you're making me lose money? You know, and then when he good would go down there, he would cause a problem And when he caused the problem, you know, plus he was I told us he was In the in the back seat of the car somewhere bro. He would carry a straight razor In his he would that is one thing Cubans are world-class famously known for the blade is always on Listen, he he'd wear farmers pants. So he always had that side pocket And he would always have a straight razor in there I never informed slice somebody boy. My mom died

Somebody showed up that he had beef with and they come come at the same time because he sliced his ass Because they sliced your ass. Yeah, I grew up with that type of dude. Yeah Those are the the original original ones from cuba. I grew up with a dude that they don't need pussy Yeah, I like why I don't need pussy because that means if you eat pussy, you'll suck a man's dick No, no, no, no, you have no Fucking idea how deep The machismo goes and you saw it in sellya You saw it the fucking lola's father

The way that man spoke That was unheard of that that's me and you goof around and we goof around and we crack jokes You never heard some man talk like lupus father lanayla Not only was he racist. He was raping his daughter. He was fucking delusional. You know, this is fucking crazy Look at me That whole machismo thing, you know, I had to lose it The jealousy shit Oh, yeah

That's the ones from the island That shit I had to lose Thirstiest and most jealous dudes on the planet And they're gonna kill me now when they hear this I'm sorry. I'm sorry my planes. Which ones? No, the the cubans from the island do they're different, you know, and the ones that are raised here the ones from like the island The jealousies it's not jealousies more like they're more way more like uh Like islam style, you know, like oh you look to the ground when you're around with me

Don't look no dude in the eye. I don't play that shit And the chicks will be like looking at the ground the whole time when they're with the dudes He knows when I'm talking about he's like, I know those motherfuckers You look that don't ever look a dude in the eye when you're around me girl. What the fuck is wrong with you like that? Like what the fuck is wrong with you, bro? It's ugly. It's it's ugly and it's you look at anything. Oh, it's so stupid. Yeah When they're raised You know when I was growing up they pretty much still had

cuban fixed weddings Not like if your family Grew up with my family in cuba And we were both born in the united states and we played together They have pictures of us playing when I was two and a half and you were two And then when you were eight at the at the birthday party, it's us hugging By the time we're 12 they're fucking marrying us Serious shit backing serious shit to what degree would you move in together?

No, because I knew I grew up with a little Puerto Rican girl They were trying to get me married to and shit when I was growing up I still had fucking pictures of me making out with it like kissing her when I was like 14 My party and them clapping and shit kiss her kiss her Oh, fuck. Yeah, that's sexy motherfuckers cubans. They took professional photos of you guys making out. Listen, bro When I was a kid my mother wanted Like that's what they work for they don't know any other fucking world My mother wanted me to be uh, not sexual but to have contact with women and compliment women and

Tell them they're beautiful. It's a flirtatious Yeah, my yeah, my mother was very different than American society. Yeah, no, my mother wanted me to hug people Sometimes when I go to Miami I have a Cuban friend Ricky Cruz a comedian And I noticed that when he would see his friends from high school at the improv He would hug and kiss all those women And I was like wow You know, I remember growing up with Cuban kids and we always hugged and kissed each other and

I want to give what I said, hey Yeah, it was kind of weird like all of a sudden. Yeah, it's acceptable when I was growing up. That was what you did with Cuban parents. I grew up with parents that you had to say rendice young too Yeah, and they were saying it was there indeed before you left the house and when you walked in the house Oh, yeah, well, I was eight and nine. This is what I'm saying to you guys. I grew up Catholic on my own like I remember going to church on my own on sunday. I liked it I really believed in it, but I was a sickly kid Like I got that would always get fucked up and then have to take me to the hospital

And then my mother came home and then she was this I went to see this lady and she says that they want to see you And talk to you and ask you some questions And I went up there and she was a black lady, but she had a lassie a dog A collie and I really liked the dog and I would go up there and talk to when she talked to me by losanto This and this and this come back And I would go up there every week and finally after about a year when I turned seven one day. She gave me a la wa Because she came and she gave me a little dude Will you be saying these names like american people gotta be like what are they saying?

Say it one more time and they was his little dude that's made out of like Concrete and you put him by the door with candy and like a mousetrap and shit And he he watches the door for you. He's a little kid and his partner's ogum. He's another saint. It's yo romero That's ogum right there and he's next to him and he's the god of metal and construction and weapons So you have weapons guarding your doors so nobody could come in and shit that type of superstitious That type of shit Fucking it's craziness and I enjoyed it. She would tell me all these stories about St. Francis of Assisi but at the same time

I was going to catholic school and hearing those stories during the week You know, there was a nun there who would tell stories and it was the same type of stories only with african saints It was the most fucking beautiful thing and I made the connection. I'm like, uh Then I found out later when I was an adult that it was brought from africa to cuba and it was how the slaves Communicated with the fucking gods. They They dressed them up as catholic saints. So it made sense to me

So when I started talking to this lady, none of that I liked going up there She lived on 148th street. There was more action up there. It was more dirty kids And they did shit on the streets and shit and I liked it. So I went more more more more up there And finally one day they're like, listen, you want to make saint? I said, yeah, I made saint when I was seven dog I'm all about the last since I was seven years old. I'm Dog, I'm I was straight up I was not supposed to end up doing this shit There was no way I was even allowed to speak like this is a child. You were like super sane level then

You you I was seven it was already in So then you were like you were the one that they were coming to you would charge people the money to give them like Yeah, oh by the time I was eight people were giving me fucking 42 hours to Do little things I never cut chickens heads off though. I didn't like none of that shit. That's like uh in like So the rest of the world it doesn't understand those are like celebrities In within the communities the the Cuban saints, you know, like the the What do you call them the Baba Laos? Yeah, those guys started making money for They poor whore. What's the other thing they do? Um, they read the cards. Don't kill a chicken for you

They're celebrities. They charge top dollar five grand ten grand easy When I went to Miami a kid came up to me at the improv and said my uncle could help you I told him the situation. He'd want like 30,000 dollars 30,000 fucking dollars. I think my me and my mother made saint in 1970 For fucking eight thousand dollars on the upper west side of New York animals included Animals included because we did it together In those days now it's like 30 grand and they'll take you to cuban and do it for a week

Like my daughter's godfather called me and said I'll ask you a question There's a lady here who took a two weeks of absence Cuban woman and she went back to cuban and now she came back She's got the head gear on and she's all dressed in white. What happened? And I told them what happened and he's like that's fucking amazing So they go to cuban to be even more legitimized the people I did my saint with were fucking top notch I still keep a touch with them. That's our top. That's our top notch. They were I left my saints when my mother died with this gay dude. I robbed the gay dude

I moved to colorado. I never saw the guy again. The gay dude had my saints. I told my godmother My godmother went to jersey picked up my saints Took him back to Harlem when she moved to Miami. She took my saints to fucking miami with her And she put them in her apartment and she goes listen. I raised that kid Even after I'm dead that kid's gonna come pick up these fucking saints. And do you know what? Three years ago. I found her on twitter and I picked up the saints 30 years later. She took my saints to fucking miami with it. Wow. That's how tight she's dead now But I got my saints in my house right behind me in my office

Right there 30 fucking years later. I grew up in it. I really believed it What happened was my mother died. I got disenchanted And then who the gives I grew up with like decent cuban people. It ain't curse But I also grew up with cuban people who would talk about Yeah, those are my uncles, you know, I would go to my mom's mom when I was 12 Some guy gave me cocaine and he goes listen next time you eat a girl's pussy Sprinkle this on that's what I'm like, are you fucking kidding me because I used to dry hump this girl in new york They all thought like I was fucking I was not fucking this girl. I didn't even have the heart to fuck right that age

I was dry humping up a clothesline And one day he came into my room. He was listening I'm hearing it's a little story. They got a little skinny girl that you're fucking these times. He's shit in spanish And I'm looking at boys that are templando tarika con goona la flakita isa typing as I hear a typing Listen, I'm gonna tell you all the nastiest fucking stories. I have forgotten When I was a kid my mom had the bar and burger line, which is cuban. It's flag It's flagler for humans, you know in new jersey And there was a guy that would sit there for my mother in the afternoons when my mother would go to a mech game

Or a track part of my comedy is this guy his name was anado docampo And he had a brother umbedo All right, so do you understand me that For me to ever excel as a comedian. I really have to write these things I really have to sit on but you on by me saying his name Look at the smile. Okay. Okay. Now both of them were fucking five foot six big shoulders but a stomach

That you would never ever seen before it was huge and solid Seven gold chains three four five of them the skinny ones or the or the lung was there the long ones in and the long ones out Three or four rings. He was a four rings. He was a book minimum That was all he said. Oh, did he have then he had the The fact bag. How do you call it? No, he had uh, he would take the notes and write them real small And hide them in a baseball hat. I mean he was brilliant. I'm not doing whatever I'm not money was in the sock always The money was everywhere because they were bookmakers at my mother's bar and there was a phone booth right there

In those days, there was a phone booth that would ring for them and they could close the door Take the number and hide the number in the phone If the cops came it was in the phone booth, but there was also money in the phone booth So once the cops found the money, they would leave the notes. You understand me and nobody did nothing Arnardo was basically He was the go between Between my mother explaining stuff to me And getting hit Arnardo was the last resort

Okay, my mother was remarried But my mom me and Juan didn't really go down that route. He didn't discipline me But Arnardo had a certain way Your mother works hard in here. You got to do the right thing for your mother You got to come in here at three and take the ice, but he would say it to me in a way that would make you cry You know what I'm saying? Like he would guilt the eyes And then he'd go i'm telling you your mother's i'm gonna last fucking she's gonna knock the fuck out of you The next move and I can't be here to save you. He was that guy

But umberto was also the guy that would coach me Whatever that guy can be It's uh, everything I do anything you know, so they Do that I'm a mandala papa eat, you know, we were 12. We were going to ceramic class together I told you I told you li about the fucking human girl Lord is that I went to a house cuban work girl. Huh? She her mother was saying everybody like lord is So we weren't having sex with her. She was just a cuban girl in the sixth grade There was a couple cuban girls and one day like you want to go to ceramic class. I'm like sure

So like we got to stop at lordess's house to stop and get like the money we go lordess's house George the mother was hot And you know me I was raising the house my mom told me to tell him when they look good And lordess's father left her. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, you know me. I said oh, yes, and you know Oh, yeah, thank you I told you you still got some laughs Why are you single and the next day lord is like you can't come to my house I can't come to the house no more. How old were you 12? Oh my god

It was crazy that I hung out with these cuban girls. So there was no listen sex Was not Even on my distant mind. All right, that was Each cuban girls. There was no way I was gonna get in with them No way there was no way it was gonna be quick sex or nothing like that There's sort vans at like a different different speed. I think in those days you had a date

I like you becky. I like you too. Joe. Okay Becky, would you like to go to a movie sometimes? Sure Let me call you. Okay Yeah, come over I want you to come over on sunday and meet my mother and grandmother and brother And that was when I was 14 if you dated a girl in union city You had to go through that route and then route number two was you had to go to see the dony

with Becky and her grandmother and the grandmother sat in between me and Becky And you had to do that two or three times then why Becky's grandmother would let us sit together Oh Fish or love and then I would have to take Becky to a skin saying yeah And once that was official then there was a little airplay where we could get away and I could squeeze a tinny That's fucking grab a foot script That was that was when I was growing up if you wanted a date a cuban girl

There was not a cuban girl that I knew that just jumped on you. It was a process And it was a process. I've heard about those processes. It was a process I didn't have to go through them. But my uncle's and my cousins that are I was in the 70s It was a process and the families and your family checked my report card And then your family and my family became friends And if by coincidence they knew a cousin in cuban then It was even easier for us

But if they found out that we weren't the type of cubans that we would hang out with that was a completely different battle you want Now your dad it was ugly to date a cuban girl. It was too much fucking drama. I dated one That I didn't have sex with but her mother and listened to me again Back to the cuban machismo You know lee we've been together for 20 years. We moved from cuban together. I'm in love with you no more okay So I'm gonna go home with my life. I I spoke to my therapist and He said that

We should split and you should have counseling And I'm gonna move on with my life and you'll move on with your life and And and typical white dude would say yes I will get my things and I'll get an apartment Mr. A said listen, that's all great and dandy better I'm not leaving here. Okay He decided he didn't leave him he didn't talk to the family

That's how cuban he was He didn't talk. He disbanded from the family the daughter the brother everybody He built himself a cocoon in the basement. Oh, he can get No, ma'am link. No ma'am link. No ma'am link. It was classic. I would that's cuban Machismo I tell a story about a girl. I grew up with vivian She tells a beautiful story When she was 14 her father called robin there. She goes vivian. What's with the shorts? Vivian said dad I went to a party listen

You gotta do me a favor. You can't wear those shorts the next time you wear those shorts. We're gonna have a fucking problem She wore the shorts again vivian this time told the mother To fucking father split they reunited maybe five years ago When that machismo ten kick sense you ain't beating them For la pinga lentro la valla That was the expression when I was growing up that means true Mike you're gonna have to shoot my dick with a bullet if you want me to give it Yeah, and it's a sad situation. They'd rather lose what happened in celia

Tell me what I tell him what happened in celia He laughed Because she's saying not through his dead body Was he gonna sing was and you know what it kept his word he fucking died never went to see the same He killed him That's cuban machismo shit. If I didn't lose it. I wouldn't be here today. Yeah, I lost it by the time I was 19 I knew it was a dying situation By the time I was 19 I got smacked in the face by the cuban with this chismo thing

And then I got into it again. They ended up in prison. I started getting the guns It's a perico meal It's a perico meal meal Who told you I was going to those races. I would do three bumps a cup and come to your house That's my man It was crazy and I would let it take over me And at some point I had to shake it off me man, and it's the best fucking thing I ever did in my life

It's not even worth the aggravation, bro the jealousy factors the It affected me it was going to come even as a comic at first, you know, it really the machismo thing. Fuck that shit I'm just a regular dude You suck my dick, you know, I'm going home That's it. What the fuck are we talking about here, uh We you gotta stop giving me stars. You know what I'm saying? Look at the shape of you over there We got greg and lin powers. I love you guys. I will call you this week

We got the george town Cannabis we got my man. Tommy easter Back in george over there doing 420s with strippers 10s We got richie mc mattis We got dominic salas. We got jim nunya. We got john cull up there in sf And we got daniel. We'll dan thing gazini and shit

Trying to send me emails somebody hacked into my motherfucking account and shit How many days a week do you train? Usually right now going into this, uh Six six and you take one day arrest Yeah If my waist a little heavy I'll go in for a light light session on sunday, but usually it's just six days All right, what's monday? monday, uh I'll do like strength and conditioning in the morning

Go home get a little break and then I'll wrestle at night for like a good two hours and then I'll do cardio after that What's tuesday? tuesday, uh Like this tuesday once i'm back in miami, uh, we swim in the morning early At six a.m. Um back home by like seven I go to sleep from like eight to like 10 30. I wake up at 11 go to american top team at 12 I train in for about two hours go home and then I do strength and conditioning at night. Oh my god And wednesday

Wednesday, I'll do the same thing as monday. I'll do strength and conditioning in the morning rest of the afternoon And then two thursday you do repeat what you did tuesday exactly and friday will be uh Something like wednesday makes with uh, like a thursday, you know, or maybe I might just spoil that they not do nothing else But that that that's my schedule now. It's not always my schedule. It's I'll have it. Um, like if i'm 10 weeks out it would be different if i'm five weeks out, you know So when did you start training for this fight? Oh, you didn't stop training I didn't stop. I didn't stop. I didn't stop. I didn't have no injuries. I was swimming. I was running bike

I was doing all types of things. I wasn't kicking. I wasn't punching because I had just fought but I was doing things the same shape You know the last two weeks. I watched uh matt brown lose to donald sarone Matt browns went around for a while tough motherfucker. You know He's gotten he's lost the last he's had a bad string of losses recently And I was thinking about running backs How people say the longevity of a running back Is three years when somebody first told me that I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? The longevity of running backs and they said no, no, no, you're thinking about every dickison

And this guy all the people do come into the league and you think it hurt or disappear It's so weird how right now all your ducks Are lined up I understand where you're at right now and you're pointing your career right now all your ducks are lined up dog Oh, yeah, you know, I mean you're healthy It's tough to Do you have see if you're looking at it as a strategist right now? It's really a run the guys have had success. It's been a run. It's been 13 14 fights

Maybe you lose two you're a champion for one and you go off in the limelight You got money for you and your kids somebody sponsoring you You're fucking jumping rope on burger king commercials And then you open up a fucking jujitsu school in miami and you train fucking Puerto Rican kids In low privilege fucking neighborhoods or something, you know, I like I like to play I like that's that's that's the usual But you know what right now in today's UFC thing if you were going into the UFC You have to look at it as a three-year process

Expect the fucking derailment Whether it's a lost or an injury and just go for it for three years You know what man? I usually take me fucking 12 weeks and I like to recover for four not this fucking time All right. Yeah, this time we're going in six weeks. You fucking ready. That's what the ufc is about If you really think about it, that's the run you have to do To get to where you want to go into the ufc if you fight once or twice a year That's fine and fucking dead if it was up to me. I'd be fighting. Yeah at five times

You know, I grew up on boxing and it seemed like they boxed Five times a fucking month. Yeah, these people were boxing every fucking eight weeks when I was a kid Roberto Duran and stuff. Oh Yeah, that's my boy Then all of a sudden it went to like once a year twice a year and they considered a pay-per-view special event That's how they got the blood out of you. But when I was growing up this guy would fight I'll I'll do you know I'm saying yeah, and right now if you're a young guy and you're in the ufc Or you're thinking of entering the ufc. That's the mind fucking session. You have to go home with

There's gonna be a everybody wants to be kind of McGregor But it's a three-year process Considering there's a derailment somewhere god forbid if not you got to go for it And every time you fight at the end and they raise your hand And now finally put the microphone on you you got to start pitching You can't sit there like a fucking mute no more You got to start pitching who you want to fight. They're not gonna you know unless you mention it Then I ain't gonna fucking know it. That's the name of the game and today's ufc. No, it's definitely more entertaining

It's more entertaining ever you got to get off raise your hand and go listen. This is who I want next today Fuck it tomorrow in the locker room. Where's Dana white? Where's the fucking Jewish guy with the contract? Let's put this fucking party together. What's it for all? That's what it takes to be, you know, and you look at that and go say well, there's brain damage Joey Then what are you fucking talking about? I got an uncle who got hit in the head with a raft 18 times He said he can still spell his name in Spanish and English. What the fuck are you talking about dog? But that's the true Thing, you know, how long did you look at where's gsp? Is he coming back?

Fuck no Fuck no He don't really want to come back anyway. You don't think so Well, if he wanted me to he's already got money in the bank I thought he was I don't I don't mean since I got kids and training. I don't get to keep up on news Okay, so this is my opinion right now. He's got leaders put away Okay, if he comes back to fight he's gonna fight for like an 18th of what he was getting paid for Okay, because we know yeah when he was fighting he was getting a real sponsor money

He had Gatorade or something then you know, I get 10 million dollars and somebody fucking big That kid didn't do anything wrong. So everybody who was big at the time jumped on a gsp fucking boat Gsp won were what 14 fucking fights. How long did this career last leave you want to look it up for me for yonkel Joey, how long did the did the fucking career of The the the full thing of gsp really last the rain. Was it three years? All right, let's sit here Oh my goodness

So he started off Seven and oh And oh two Let's see when can you see where he got the championship? Then he lost to matt sarah He lost to matt sarah Do you know what fight he won for the championship? So I can tell you what won this thing started Maybe 2003 right 2004 back here. Here we go. Okay, right here. He beat matt hughes

And Oh seven Or is that oh, he might have lost it. Did he lose it to matt sarah? Yeah in houston, texas Okay Jesus leave i know he's gonna take you this long. I wouldn't the fucking ask you for a love of christ People fall in the sleep already. Okay. Well, he locked him fine. He lost it In 04 to matt hughes and then he won it against bj pan In 06. That's the next time we won. How long did he fight for after that?

His last fight was 2013 so Seven years he had he lost to matt sarah in 07 and matt hughes in 04 So he wanted to tear for a long fucking time long time Some good guys. Yeah, yeah, he was Yeah, and he's not I thought he would be on this toronto card, but there was no fucking sign of him So I know if they're trying to put together a fighters unit. I don't know really about it. I don't understand all that stuff so

I just leave it alone. I don't What am I gonna do sit there and analyze this shit? I'm no fucking attorney Jorge maldo mas devalued was a fucking you're a fucking bad motherfucker, man. I wish you all the best man That's amazing. I we watched you becky and me watch you Look at him this shit. He comes out there. You get all animated and shit And then the captain is out there yelling instructions on this Oh my god I

You say like what the fuck is going on with you and your opponent sitting there going what the fuck is he saying? You know, even when I was a kid and I go to the playground If my if I had beef with a kid my mom would call me over. She'll look at she gave me hand signals When I was four and five my mom used to give me hand signal And she gonna meet on me if I go like this Don't call. I just want you to hit him lightly just to let him know He can't push you on your shit. Exactly. My mom used to give me hand signal met the little avion That was the big one hit him with the big one met the little avion

I still remember my mom picking me up at Catholic school And the drive back for the bar had telling me this he's two fucking little kids. I was tormenting me the other day I told him to come back on Friday. You come back to school. You're gonna fight those motherfuckers today And me being scared and fighting one of both of them shit in front of the mother's bar. That's That's old school Shit, you can't do today. Don't throw you that's what gets you but that's what gets you ready for the world I think that's why they do it. You know, it helps you deal with situations like that I always think about one of my mother put me in Catholic school

At this age it started to bother me for a few years there. It was either she didn't want me around Or she wanted me to get a little bit of a beating but she didn't want to give it to me herself Which she had no problem giving me a fucking beating I just thought she just wanted a fine point. I always thought thought about that. I always doubt. Why would she put me in that fucking school? for three years at that age If she knew cannot don't meant her That was a fucking and she ended up having to get me out of there By fucking fighting with a fucking nun and stuff at the end at the end

I ended up winning and she transferred me to public school because I didn't like those fucking people hitting me That's a tough fucking childhood to have people you don't know Put their hands on you and they're fucking nuts The first year or two was just back hands here or there But then they started getting pissed off of me not drinking milk And they would say to me. Yeah, you gotta drink the milk. I ain't drinking and they fucking beat me till I drink the fucking milk That's That's fucking child molestation and shit. You drink the fucking milk the nuns would sister angela

I never forget. She would just smack you till I drank the fucking milk, bro with backhands sister patricia I would have drank the milk so fast. I drank the milk eventually had puke and shit, which I like milk anyways I don't fucking lie. I don't never fucking like milk I like milkshakes dog like a motherfucker drop of vanilla You got to put some ice cream and some fucking syrup in that orio milkshakes. Yeah, no, I'm not a big orio shake Look at the size man. I gotta keep the shakes as loud as can be I like the orio I like my shakes thin thin thin water thin

With cancer sugar. That's how deep I go. I put a scoop of cancer sugar to sweeten it up Lee went to a place yesterday He went to see a bad movie after I advised him for three weeks But the boss wanted to go see it. So he had no choice Jesus christ when the boss gives him an order. He's doomed. I like that movie too. Do you see bad center? Uh, no, he's busy. He's got a fucking life. He don't need to go losing that movie. Yeah, bellybomb thorton Yeah, I've seen bad sense. Yeah, of course. Yeah, the first one the first one, right But you didn't go to movies to see the second one

No, because you know, it's gonna be a disaster just by watching the trailer for three weeks Even the kid canceled down them two weeks on the road which he got out of it And I said to him Lee, you know, I'm gonna go see that movie. You're from boston Go see the movie with that kid from boston and go represent your city He didn't see that too. He was right there by the oracle like he went to hollywood. No, I didn't I went to north hollywood Did how did you end up with a 101 dynam in hollywood? I just went there. Oh, you just went there. You're a fucking good You know that that's a good call though That's a good call, but they do have a good milkshake there

If you ever in hollywood late night And you get the hollywood 101 dynam before you get on the 101 right there On gow and go in there and get a coconut milkshake and it's and it's pay for the parking I was an asshole and I was trying to drive around inside a fine parking. You just parked by the hotel You go into the hotel like a fucking momo that's parking for the diner You don't pay you don't go nothing. I did but that was that that was full See what I got to do with four years of college. It was full. What am I supposed to do? It wasn't full. It was too. What time were you there?

Whenever I called you 11, I wasn't full It was too full. You just parked these fucking college kids love to walk. He probably parked and called an uber to get them over the night and that's a little bit But I got I got a Staking eggs, but you said I should go outside a certain shake, right? No, the vanilla shake there is tremendous No, not the vanilla shake. How'd you get scrambled eggs? No, I got staking eggs. What so you get scrambled eggs? No, I got I got uh

Over easy Over easy jita yoke. Of course. Oh, all right, gotta watch I don't know if you're eating fucking billy goat eggs. What the fuck is doing? All that multi ball you're looking at me like what the fuck is going on there Fucking loving it. You're fighting. I'm excited and shit. You're on the show You're representing even living miami that is Like I said, man, that's like for me like It's a distant dream that I don't know if I can handle at this age

It's the food itself is going to be the major problem. I think it's too much Access to good food at whatever time you want it 5 a.m. 4 a.m You know for what's for what's us considered like top shelf food, you know I had spent like I said, I had spent five or six summers. Maybe seven summers in miami By the time my mom had died and after she died the freedom The lady asked me she was listen. I think you're best bet right now In the situation you're in is to move to miami and I always thought about it But it was something about miami. I thought it was too much fucking cuban for me

Like union city was just enough. Yeah, union city was just 40 blocks of cubans that it ends That it becomes something else for a while. I did it on the different street It becomes cuban again, but go on. I'm so human. This is where all the shootings were The book making and then the fucking In the Book making for is it the loader is what you're talking about? Yeah. Laulita The headquarters of new jersey, but it works in new york because if you get caught

Book making in new jersey. It's a felony if you get caught book making in new york It's a misdemeanor Wow, so it's a big difference. That's only 10 minutes away Yeah, laulita's considering book making. No fucking laulita was really created in Tampa by That one mobster and then he took it to cuba Then they took it back to the streets of florida and then New jersey in that area. That's crazy. It was it became part of the culture so much that

I would have a store that sold sodas and Magazines and maybe partelito and papa reina But I would also on top of me have the books that were hanging and they would say book of dreams Let's say the night before you had a dream becky That you and lee went over a bridge and you had a red dress on So you go to the book of dreams you open it up and it would say book of dreams red dress 50 say And then you'd have to put a number in front of the 56

So let's say you looked at red dress 56 you look at lee and say what number do I put in front of here? three three fifty six five hours on three fifty six That's where the superstitious Really went in like you couldn't say cancer in front of my mother. She would spit on herself So if you would say oh, yeah, you hear about this guy he has cancer my mother would go Don't need eyes You know Those are the superstitious that drive me fucking crazy

But they work for me Like I don't hang out with three people That's the big cuban one where I came from and they'll be in the ass when I got arrested don't do nothing in threes Yeah, no, I don't know how they three and you know, what's funny is when you talk to different cubans Sometimes there's different theories behind it, you know, like you might have a different theory on why they say that So it's interesting who works to interview other cubans to see like what is the theory behind the don't do nothing in threes Don't go to a car in threes The why is that I don't I don't remember why that one

In my world it was because if you got in trouble two of you could go against one and when I got arrested That's exactly what happened as I was getting arrested. I'm like They fucking told me I grew up. I couldn't hang out on corners I can hang out on the street, but they didn't want me on corners And they would fucking go after me if they saw me on the corner. I was allowed to play on the street But I could not hang out on corners. It was fucking amazing growing up like that Yeah, when the whole neighborhood was out everybody was just out like on saturday all the kids would be out Yeah, I wasn't no, no, but I wasn't allowed to play on corners because they said I was just

My family said I was a sponge And that you were you on corners is where people drop off their bad luck So I would have to win when I saw watching a little gold thing with fucking a black ball You're going through changes again over there. Look at you No, I'm I'm I'm fucked up. I'm not going through changes. Yeah, you're going through that I couldn't understand What just came out of your mouth? What's going on when you talk to me? You want to ask Who'll hang any questions? Are you okay? Do you need to take a walk?

I'm fine. No, no, no, no keep talking because my I have five questions to talk about being apart of all this stuff. Yeah, take them What's the questions you got from I gotta go to bathroom here? huh Oh jesus christ he's got him written in the phone. No, I don't then ask him what the fuck All right, here we go What do you think about we were talking about the schedule you want to fight? What do you think about cowboy schedule? The schedule he's fighting What do you mean the schedule he does for training? No, no, no the actual he's fighting pretty regular more regularly than most UFC fighters seem to fight

Oh, like is how active he is. Yes, absolutely What about it like like like what do you think is it could go against him? Like what do you think it does it change your How you go to prepare for a fighter that fights it often like what do you think it says about him? I don't know does it it seems odd since not that many people do it I think it's the way it should be um Just compete as much as you can if your body's healthy you could do it again. Why not, you know It's uh, it's really a mine thing. It's it's up to the fighter Okay, absolutely

Um The chain did I mean you said you you hoped that you could bet on it, but does it change What do you think about being the underdog if you're the underdog? No, that's what i'm hoping or that i'm the underdog. Why is that so I could get double triple my money I hope i'm a huge underdog because i'm just gonna make that much more money Okay, fair enough, um Let's see I didn't know you could bet on yourself. I know i'm i'm not gonna bet on myself. Okay, but I would advise people to bet on me

That's pretty cool Because yeah, you have to have that kind of confidence in yourself, right? I in in this particular fight I do You haven't always been this confident in in in your fighting or in your inner opponent No, I I could just say this. I've never been more confident. Oh Oh You need to teach like a class for kids like me for like dirty kids Um, all right You have a look at our platform here. What do you think about just any

Finding a opponent to miss weight like what do you think about that? I got a lot of pro fights and I never miss weight and I I used to drop a lot of water To get the 155 pounds. So I know it's tough, you know when you're losing 10 to 15 pounds and And within hours it's tough. It hurts, you know, but when you sign on the dotted line You got to do your part In the commitment that you agreed upon, you know, right chicken hands. We both agree. We're gonna make weight and then fight So when you break that it's it's kind of cheating You know, I did the extra work that it took where there was not eat that slice of cheesecake

Not eat the slice of pizza and then run in the morning and then wake up and swim in the morning And then I did all that stuff and then you didn't it's a big difference, you know, I think it's cheating Absolutely And couldn't if the only penalty is 20% of the purse Is is those that is that amount of either not Putting your body through that Or either the weight is that worth the 80% do you think they could win and just give up the 20%? I don't know

Uh, I kind of got lost Do you think do you think it's that much of a And it's a fucking respectingly I agree to fight you at 170. You agree to fight me at 170 The least you could do is make the fucking weight and I understand there's Struggles and making weight. I'm living fucking proof But I didn't sign a contract to fight somebody for money on live television either

So I think you know Again a fighter has to keep in shape year-round. It's not like Muhammad Ali He'd go up to two fucking 90 then drop 60 remember you hear those stories. He dropped 40 pounds with his fight. What are you talking about? You're a fighter. How did you gain 40 fucking pounds? Now in today's economy In today's economy in today's UFC scenario, you're training year fucking round You got a fight. You got six weeks. You're specializing in this thing

And as you know at least the strategy is well, especially with Jorge, he knows it's not how many people you shoot. It's who you shoot Correct correct the mundo. It's where you are in today's world They schedule a big money card. He gets hurt. He sprains his ankle You're in shape. You're running hills. You raise your hand. You get the fight. You knock the motherfucker out. There you are It's all a fucking flash When we did comedy this last six months you and I saw how I had a strategy Let's do the fucking will turn. Let's do this. Let's do the special. This comes out and the strategy worked

It's the same thing. You could spin your wheels forever Donald sarone. I love him to death and I love his heart bro. He fights constantly but again He fought and then he complained about If you just let him know you'll find in the day's notice for five thousand. That's what they're gonna fucking pay you That's what they're gonna do dog So there's somewhere in between. It's like when you first start comedy You're getting a hundred hours to show but somebody wants to pay you 40

If you love comedy so much You'll do it for the 40, but if you hurt another comedians There's like a series like a fucking secret code. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I love comedy when I first started doing comedy All I wanted to do was get better. So I didn't care whether you had a hamburger if you paid me 50 bucks. That was great. You want to pay me a hundred fuck I could buy some coke after the fucking show now and still go home with a little cash, you know saying What becky gunzala is in the fucking house? anyway

That's the strategy. He's got a great opportunity Ellen burger boom bam and he now he's got to say something There's a fucking fight and where's this fight at brooklyn? Denver Denver colorado and you're going up there january I'm not I told you but I'm not gonna give the the details out the cowboy. Okay, but I'm gonna be out there though Okay, yeah Because it's like six weeks to acclimate and shit something like that

but we gotta we gotta We got a system that we believe in a cuban system Actually that is that's used by the cuban national team that uh what they use to acclimate acclimate their athletes So we're gonna go by that model Yeah, okay a lot of water No, always a lot of water, but um be careful the way they uh They uh acclimate to the altitude is different than like the american style of of acclimating So we're gonna try the cuban one

It'll be a cuban victory. I'm gonna tell you something the first time I moved to aspen I packed my bags I got to the room where I was living and I took a shower I got dressed and the guys I lived were from my hometown They go hey, we're going to a party in the afternoon. You want to come and guess what there was a bong there By the window and they were all doing bong hits And they go would you like a bong in they're like no, I don't get my bong in I'm like, what are you talking about? I've been smoking for a year

And like bro the altitude's gonna get you I'm like the altitude ain't gonna fucking get me I did fine I walked up the stairs and everything I did a cuban bong hit next thing when I woke up the bong broke. I passed the fuck out They ain't playing games. They hold it in mazdevall Which one's the cuban bong? I'm just lying to you. I took a bong hit like a cuban savage Which I'm saying to you that it it takes uh It's a fucking weird process I went up there a couple years ago to shoot a movie bro. I lived up there for 15 years at the time in colorado

I did fucking time. I lived in aspen. I lived in like I went used to go to rifle That's a ski lot. Yeah when I was fucking machine. That's a great issue. You know when you do it for free You know, I got so spoiled That when I moved I love skiing skis, but I love skiing when I could open up that door And I knew all the guards I lived in snowman's village. So I knew all the guards on the hill So they told me the scam they said listen All you need to do is get to a certain point. They don't check out badges after that this is you know

So I could ski as long as I didn't go below Those levels. I just had to go above those levels Where I lived all I had to do was take my skis and put them on and walk maybe 50 yards And then ski down like you gotta lift nice. That's how spoiled I was guys. Wow. I had a three mountain pass I had a dog when I grew up in Jersey. There was no skiing for me Fuck You there was a playboy club and they had midnight skiing. Good luck jack We'll freak on don't

That being golden. I'm talking about 30 below windshield You're out there trying to be cute with three vokas in you and that wind catches you first of all, that's not snow That's packed fucking snow that becomes ice. You hit that you die I did it one time at midnight I went to the top I skied a little bit. I said help me come up here. They sent my three dudes They took me down. I never thought I'd ski again. I moved to Colorado. It took me maybe A month after the ski season opened to go, you know what Let's give this a try and I got hooked just like I did with jujitsu

Then my whole life then I learned how people that live up there ski Let's say they got to go to work at one they go up that eight and they ski from eight to 11 And you have to be in shape to do that shit Like you really got to be in shape to ski eight to 11 then eight to 12 then eight to two You can't drink, you know, but when you leave there, you're fucking sore jack So it took me about a month to get kind of decent And then I just winged it And the one season I I skied okay

And then I moved back to jersey and when I went back to aspirin the second time I really got into it I really really but it was so easy for me All I had to do again was maybe go up 50 yards and go down And I could ski for free, you know Once I moved to boulder that four-hour shit I ain't driving four hours. This is all the other like the blues and the blacks and all that shit. What do you mean? Like I'm no at that point in my life I went from

Skiing with 185s. I don't even use that system no more To 205s. I got that good plus the guy next door to me His father had died and I let the money go back to the funeral He was a general manager at the time of a place called sport kaolin And they were the biggest retailer in town So he would tell me bro every time your ski come in let me hook you up with demos He would put the best fucking skis on you. I don't even know what the fuck I was doing Skins, I got good but I couldn't stop

Skins like fighting that was my fucking situation. I couldn't stop. I was never good at stopping At breaking at breaking. Yeah I would take all fucking lines of people waiting and I'm the fucking thing I was a fucking savage dog back there. That's the fucking only way to ski, man I really really enjoyed it and then I started I want to move back to bone. I got divorced And I dated this college girl And me and her tried to go ski up there. Fuck you You gotta get up at five in the morning and you can't take the mushrooms till you get there

And by the time you get there, it's a four hour drive What do you think you're doing a car with me for four hours? Sit there and sing You're smoking fucking reefer like a savage By the time you get to your destination, you're like who talked about what scheme I gotta go take a fucking nap We would go up there. Let's go in the car and take a fucking nap That's it two times I went skiing by the time you get up there. You're so tired from all the reefer You smoked in those four fucking hours So I gave up on skiing. That was my career as a fucking skier right there. That was it papa

That's too much. I'm like right now. I gotta drive one of the funniest things ever Oh, come on. I love it. I want to teach my daughter how to ski because right now when they're three to four and a half They're the best they are because they're close to the they just learn to talk. Yeah, they learn how to break They call them like ski bunnies or whatever. Yeah Shit put them on the bunny hills, right? You put them on the bunny hills fucking they knock it out But she gets carsick if I take her up there So that's the situation I got Yes, I was sick. I like how I ended up to the pass out. Yeah cool. I translated

Gentlemen, this this would not happen in Cuba See I grew up with those people. I gotta ask you. How did you learn how to swim? Did you that just they threw you in the pool? Was it Cuban style like No That means don't let them be dumb. He knows how to swim if not let them drown and that's the mentality I drowned that said I drowned and uh The real two story is That I learned how to swim. I was fucking around

I was fucking around and you know in those days when you got in trouble And they warned you about it after you fucked up. They give you a beat So I was pretty good at swimming. I was a skinny kid and I did the whole president's swimming program and At ps 166 When they take you to a place and you swim during the week And if you do the laps and hold your breath, they give you a patch You have to do 200 push-ups and sit-ups. I didn't get that patch because I couldn't do pull-ups Okay, I ain't gonna lie though, buddy. Somebody just broke me one of those patches about two years ago to be shown

I never put it on my geek but in those days there were two tests There was a president's nobody else took those fucking tests growing up here I did but I No, I know. Yeah, I know you fucking I do them You didn't get no metal Of course, I didn't get no metal and you didn't get a patch either don't lie because I didn't get a patch coxucker Who said I got a patch? I think that's probably like field day what they call nowadays field day No, this is when they fucking people came in from the state and they made you do a 40

They made you do What did you say was called a president's Fitness award and if you did everything you got a patch from the president. You know what it meant That you were dumb fuck you didn't mean dick. All right. That's what it meant that you do 10 jumping jacks Go fuck yourself Like they get met nothing like it's gonna get your job at the gym You're gonna be a personal trainer who gives a fuck But uh

Who we talking about here leave threw me off here. We're talking like a deep conversation. I apologize What is it the elevation the elevation? Yeah, yeah the elevation. So when we talking about it, so I don't fucking know. I can't beat no stars no more You know, everything's all right till I eat the star and then the memory fucking goes during conversations and shit I'm just happy you didn't go back to Miami now Until whatever so you'll go back Tuesday. When does the party start at your house? Do you get together with your family your dad still and everybody my dad is currently in texas? He uh, he's living with my brother my brother has a construction company out there

So my dad's working with him and they're doing their thing, you know, my dad was with me for a while I'm helping me out with the kids, but It's uh, like for job opportunities. He has so much more with my with my brother, you know, they're out there making money So, um, like for new years, we'll get together all of us traditional, you know pork roasted for eight hours The huge like three tables like this spread with rice salad the yuka what else um The mango salad you guys have had that one right with the avocado You've had that I don't like the next uh

I'm a fucking meat and potatoes type cuban. No, then yeah Let me tell you that the the lechon and uh, how old school I am don't even put yuka close to me I can't smell this I can't stand the smell of yuka like ranch dressing I'm one of the only cubans that fucking hates yuka. I don't even like it in my goddamn table get that Don't like nothing to do with this shit. I want everything else. I want the pork white meat I want that crispy piece right there. Give me a piece of the here. Tony's Yeah, give me those you going harder than the toners. I go harder than the toners. I go full of salt Uh salty like a motherfucker. There's no blood pressure. Give me the fucking white rice

With the black beans the black beans with frank's hot sauce to mix the black beans in that To give the black beans a little spice the black beans should have tolcino in them Pieces of ham and I'm gonna see that work or type of mother fucker nine other times I'm gonna see the work or type of guy always. That's why that's why hey, that's why I even served at my wedding That's a type of motherfucker. I got I got catered Fomo cochinito. That's you the fucking biggest og bro. You fucking that that right there That's what I got at my wedding. Fuck you. Fuck everybody's what I want to eat and everybody's eating. I see that boy

I'll see that breaker because I only a fucking moron would hate that If you came to me and said yo, I really not happy with the selection. Let me tell you what I got for my wedding I Went right to the heart of the matter. I got like 10 pounds on my secret. Waco Arrolanco totore I got black beans. I got a little yuka even though I'm not a believer Then I went to a deli then I went to a deli called langus that says the best pastrami These are professional jews. You understand me. They're so professionally close up at four

Okay, old school pastrami. I went and got maybe 10 pounds of that In case you're jewish and you want pastrami, but the secret's not the pastrami. It's the bread. They put a lot It's a crispy fucking rye bread You have no idea you grew up here. You should be ashamed of yourself. They should be stabbed in the heart And it's on alvarado street. It's right down the block from where we were last night. I was so fucking pissed I go, I can't believe I come to alvarado for fucking party. I should be coming down here twice a week for a pastrami sandwich The problem is the pastrami doesn't go on sale till 10 30 And by 11 o'clock, there's a fucking line outside. So you have to get we have to leave

The valley to get the fucking alvarado At 10 30 10 45. I gotta bring lee with me We can't do it. It's impossible I dream it every night. Well tomorrow's the day I call lee and go come get me We're going to fucking langus You offer it like four times and every time it doesn't happen. No because it's a joint You have to be gonna happen one day. We can't get there at one because it's an hour wait And that's fucking embarrassing. You can't talk to the waitress. You can't bump into the door

You got to go and fucking you go nice at like 10 45 like oh my god, what a surprise and they'll say to you are you here for the pastrami? isn't on the menu You know I'm saying you don't want to go like a fat fuck going I'm here for the pastrami because they don't know you're a fat fuck if you go in there. Oh my god I'm thinking of a nice salad. You're not here for the pastrami. It's No, leave. Did you come here for the pastrami? No, I didn't the end of the lie, but it sounds pretty fucking good There's nobody's pastrami 10 45 in the morning me

I get your pastrami sandwich at 6 a.m. Ready to fucking go with them out there by week I'm going this I don't give me the fucking ads lee don't sit there like a bobble away over there. How are you lee? I'm amazing opinion Opinion You know, I mean listen, man. I gotta be honest with everybody right now As much shit as I talked I've learned a Thing or two about how connor mcgrugger puts things together

You look in the back now and you see how you put little things together and they backfire on the deers thing But the other two moves didn't backfire it. They were carefully thought out Okay, every move was carefully thought out Two years ago three years ago Chail Sutton was the ufc golden boy And his opponent fell on they offered to fight the john jones and john jones wouldn't fight them and people got furious They called them a pussy because john jones knew It's not how many people you fight. It's who you fight

You understand me this thing if I beat chale son, what's it gonna do for me? Nothing, they're still gonna hate me. You know and that's It's picking good fights or picking bad fights You've been picking pretty good fights for yourself lately. So I want to congratulate you bad motherfucker And then you got this one ahead of you high outfit. I forgot all about the fucking high altitude But you know liquid recently just happens human mythology on the altitude. I believe you that's the approach we're taking You know, I I really studied that I really learned a lot from Uh

The dosanos fight Uh, no the radune fight when he fought What's his name the first time in mexico in the windy? And I don't think and you know Everybody knows kane has great cardio as it was But the altitude in fucking mexico, whatever they were in mexico city. Yeah was a little bit much to him. It was just Don't play it off for me. No, no don't play it off I was up there a few years ago filming the movie. I lived there forever. I got altitude sickness

I lived there for 15 years. I did fucking time in colorado in those hills And I went to shoot a movie. I got altitude sickness. I didn't know what it was. I went to the doctor He had just called your room Sleep it off, but you don't need altitude sickness the day of the motherfucking fight Because at that point I had been there a week No, no, no, I'm going I had just pushed the angle up a little bit And I didn't ski I was shooting the movie, but it had to happen on the ski mountain So every day I would say let me go up a little bit higher and see what this looks like

Well one day I went up real high and I started talking to shit to some people And all of a sudden my world started shattering and shit So it's the real deal. I know I felt like don't play with that shit I've been to to parruda Cusco and it's like I don't think like 11 or 12,000 feet of elevation. That's After your style of bringing it No, yeah, you gotta be up there. So if I was you I'd go right from here via helicopter We'll get a plane to drop you up like our sosa

We'll have a plane in bermuda. We'll have you back in columbia here by the morning And the guy wipes no Okay, I'll give him the message and all of a sudden they kill him on the fucking plane I'm not saying okay. I'm just saying that That's the type of shit. We'll helicopter you that tomorrow. So you got five good weeks of I hope you'll be the boss rooting fucking mouthpiece So you can run through the hills. We'll get dr. Belize up to see you Cuban woman dr. Belize She has that book breathe

She'll fucking go up there and teach you how to breathe correctly and shit last week. She was in israel Working with some fucking craft my god Intelligence she said she didn't she couldn't believe how bad that cardio was their breathing was off That's correct. That's something so interesting because Um, I just recently started working with like triathletes And their level of endurance and things that I thought that I was good at is so beyond minds and in certain areas, you know So seeing how they breathe and how they do things like when they swim and stuff There's different types of breathing. So that's like that's super interesting

As that you have you felt the swimming helped your training a lot Since I started swimming with uh But I used to swim on my own after practice I was just getting the pool and swim for like an hour just for like great purposes And uh, I didn't feel much in the cardio But now that I swim with swimmers and like keep up with the pace of theirs, you know I'm like I'm seconds behind them. They're continuously beating me, but I'm just seconds behind them I used to be like minutes behind them now. I'm like

Eight seconds behind them and that's like all out sprint for me. You know, it's like being on the field and just Giving it everything so it's good because there's no impact on the body. So I love it There's a place in Burbank here that they have a program that you sign up Either in the morning at night. I did it. I did it for two years in bold. I was blown away at what I did And when I walked in there, oh, hey, I jumped in the pool and he goes go over here and swim I couldn't fucking so I could swim, you know for standard swim But I couldn't fucking swim I swam into the wall and I looked up. I swam 10 feet. I swam into the wall

And she goes, all right, we have to start from scratch and she trained me And I was going and I do these fucking workouts, bro You know 440s with a ball between your legs pull. Oh, yeah You know 440s pulling 440s with a board go And then it became like the first week she put me in the slow lane It took me two or three weeks to get out of the slow lane dog But I would leave there and I would and this is before I was going to get sentenced for prison

And this is was my workout. I worked at Hertz Renicon. I had to be there at nine This you had to be there at six a.m. I would ride my bike from to the Hertz to the fucking swim place Swim from six to seven right back to Hertz And then I take a shower eat breakfast and then I ride my bike to fucking Hertz at work for eight ten hours Ride my bike home eat dinner then I go on the patio and hit the bag I shadow box hit the back after you didn't work on weights I had no idea and then one day she goes, listen, I saw how you ride your bike Why don't you do a biathlete?

Instead of doing try do where you swim and you ride a bicycle That's it fine And there was like a half a mile swim in bold the reservoir, which was fucking disgusting Jorge I was never so scared in my life I like swimming in control places like a pool everything else After a while after I start doing it. I think I'm gonna get attacked by something So I can't do it ever since I was a kid in Miami. I don't play that shit I've been watching the ocean since I was seven. I'm not like these dumb motherfuckers. Come on out. The water feels great

Fuck you know if you see the the chopper. Yeah, see the the shark you I used to go to Miami as a child But by the loo port Yeah, yeah by the loo port hotel where that shit's all ancient now Down there by the southwest or whatever go pee. I'll read these fucking things and we'll get the hell out of here What's up, Lisa? Yeah, which I'm doing good. I May not doing fucking good. You highest fuck Look at the shape of you and shit like that. Anyway, it's the holiday time of the year, man

Thank you for listening to the fucking podcast. I know you guys are gonna be real busy. I just want to take the chance me Lisa yet my girl fucking Becky from uh, what's the name of the Matt therapy stop with the goddamn chaeli me and my man matt therapy over here, uh I want to wish you guys a happy holidays. Also, listen, man I know you guys have shitty mattresses whatever You always talk about getting a new mattress. Maybe you're interested. Maybe you're not Listen, you're unique. You don't walk like everyone. You don't talk like everyone

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Joey, oh shit and for the two price of two cocktails will deliver your new favorite pair underwear To your doorstep. All right, so go to me on these dot com slash Joey bitches It's fucking serious, man. We don't fuck around Listen, if you're gonna take it to the hoop, you gotta take it to the hoop like Pablo asked about If there's one thing you learn from narcos Yeah, he was a killer. He had a lot of faults But he got to one place because when he went for something he went big If that's what you took from watching that's what I took from that show

He was ruthless And he was a scumbag in a lot of ways. They took a lot of innocent lies What he made this point What? No, no, that being done No, no, I understand No, no, no, it's okay. It's all right. It happens to the best of us my brother. How you doing lisa? At least fucking god leave listen

I gotta tell you something is my brother because I don't get I don't get it no more I don't know what you're doing over there on the weekends But you got about two weeks to straighten up and I gotta talk I gotta take you aside And take it to special people to talk to you Because you come on the show and you fall apart. You tell me you're in training. You're doing this. You're doing that Yeah, I know he called me like panicking. He must date 22 stars by himself Panicking And then I don't know what he's doing because he comes here. He's three stars and a piece of chocolate

Look, he sits there like Johnny mort. He don't say two words. He's scared Look I say I'm a little bit more active than I love other times Becky's been here. I think I'm fine No No, it's not you see Becky you fall apart your heart beats the death. What happens to you? What can I say? All right, I'm just checking with you. It's like a You're alright. You know, I love you and just I don't know what you're doing on the weekends. You're not training no more I'm training. Well, you're not you're eating like one star and you lie to me. You tell me you're either

This is what I gotta deal with this is what I deal with my divine. He's supposed to be training He comes here. He falls apart Then he won't then he wonder why you get fucking mad. I don't love him You know what I I want you to start training on the weekends. Have you like a soldier I see you on periscope. You eat three little stars. I see the magic Yes, you do. He takes the finger and he blows one down the street He thinks I didn't watch the three stooges and call me before I don't know how to get rid of the star

The fact that you think I'm and I don't love to handle three stooges maneuvers means you don't know me very well You do you know me very very well. You know, I cannot do three stooges things. So He's not gonna do it. Anyway All right, ladies and gentlemen, what's the best thing you bought for 399 You know what man? My buddy's bought siso siso has nearly as endless supply of top shelf comedy Literally months worth of exclusive originals Face melt and stand up and next day late night and great catalog of classics We have our own unique taste. I love myself. I like my special on there

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Promo code joey. I want to thank me on these. I want to thank siso I want to thank honor and I want to thank helix and I want to thank my main cuban Jorge Mazda Vidal I've been a fan of yours for a long time and while I family I cheer for you And i'll be cheering for you in fucking jenny. You're a good dude And you're you're a good dude, but you earned what you uh Every little fucking thing you got so how many fights you got?

I got 44 something right there So I haven't had 44 arguments No, of course, yeah, yeah, you've had 44 in a day Yeah, yeah, you're right. I'm bullshit. You should like that. We'll be back on the two or three days cocksuckers Thank you for listening. Don't forget Wednesday night. I'm at the hong kong in lisa yats taking the ride

eight o'clock show in ventura get tickets on brown paper tickets dot com and thursday i'm on uh Ari's show. This is not happening. Thank you for supporting the show Please support mr. Ho hey here. Please support my girl becky with the Math therapy podcast And lee is the baddest motherfucking producer working right now. Give him some love. I'll see you guys this week. Stay black and beautiful Oh We're gonna find out pretty mama

What turns on the lights The full moon is calling the fever is high and the wicked wind whispers and moans You got your demons and you got desires, but I got a few of them Some are to become two in between the dark and the light Coming right behind you, I swear I'm gonna find you one of these nights One of these dreams One of these lost and lonely dreams, man We're gonna find one

Oh I've been searching for the daughter of the devil himself. I've been searching for an angel in white I've been waiting for a woman who's a little bold and I can feel it, but she's nowhere inside Oh Oh In the dark and the light Oh Get your baby one of these nights

You can see Coming right behind you, I swear I'm gonna find you now One of these nights And it gets so dark So dark One of these nights One of these crazy, crazy, crazy nights One of these nights

Oh I swear I'm gonna find you one of these nights One of these nights And it gets so dark You