Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #441 - Mickey Gall

Episode Date: December 21, 2016

Mickey Gall, a UFC Welterweight, perhaps soon to be lightweight, fighter, seen on "Dana White: Lookin' For A Fight" and as the first UFC opponent of CM Punk, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  Headspace: Go to headspace.com/joey and download the Free Headspace App and start your Take10 10 day free trial. Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Seeso: Seeso is the new ad free streaming service. Bingeable comedy. Anytime. Anywhere. Use code JOEY at checkout for 2 months free. Watch Joey's Special, "Sociably Unacceptable" Now!     Recorded live on 12/20/2016.  

The show is presented by Onit. The days are back. The church of what's happening now is proud to introduce you to HelloTushy.com. That's HelloTushy.com. HelloTushy.com makes portable devices that spray your butt clean with water. Go to HelloTushy.com slash church right now. Go there right now and get 10% off of your order. It's a stuffing stuff. It's a stocking stuffer and nobody wants to have a dirty asshole on Christmas and I think we can ship it to you there. Just let them know we'll figure something out. HelloTushy.com. It's the best. The show is also brought to you by Headspace. Headspace is meditation made simple. Download the free Headspace app and begin their take 10 program for 10 days of guided meditation

at headspace.com slash joey. That's headspace.com slash joey. Oh, shit. Here we go. Five days of shoplifting left. Let's do this shit. Crank that mule lead. Kick that lead. Kick that fucking thing. I want to see that thing on fire tonight. That's Bruce Springsteen, bitches. Oh, shit. School is searching for his groove. Seem like the whole world walking pretty and you can't find more room to move. December 20th. Well, everybody better move over that song. Lisa, yeah. Because I'm running on the bad side and I got

my back to the wall. Oh, shit. 10 devil new freestyle. 10 devil new freestyle. I was standing in the jungle trying to take an over heat that was given. What's the story in this motherfucker? Mickey Gull is in the house tonight. What's up? Fresh off Sacramento. Fucking with a future. I was telling somebody today, if somebody said to me they could turn back my life, I would go, I'll start from 30. Like I wouldn't want to do my 20s over. If I had your 20s, I'd do it all over. No, I'm loving it. You're loving it. It's good 20s. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. You deserve it and the way you did it. Very nice. Thank you. Very smooth. Thank you. I honestly, I never saw the show. So I watched it today because I had seen you,

my first fight watching was CM Punk. And then I watched it today and Joey talks a lot about this time in your life, like the early, the mid 20s. And I was just thinking like it was like a year ago, right? And now you're three fights in the US. Like you were going, you were like the biggest fighter. I saw everyone had the shirt. Like the only guy in the show who had sponsors and a shirt, those sponsors must be so happy. Like they must have made 8,000 times their return off of that video because like you were just, it was in Philly, right? Like a local Philly show and you're from Jersey and you went in there and destroyed. It was awesome. It was like, it was cool to see. And then a year later, three fights. Three UFC fights. Yeah. Three and a half.

Fucking surreal, huh? Crazy. Crazy. Quick. What is your family think? They're having fun. They like it. Yeah. Actually, I'm surprised you don't know my dad. You guys grew up right right around the same time. He's 53 also. You were talking about, you were talking about pulling scams at the English town, uh, auction. Yeah. That's where he used to go. He used to, yeah. He grew up in Manalaphan. Now, how far is that from English town? Close. He used to work there. Like he had, that was like his first job. The funny races and all that. Yeah. That's selling, you know, selling shit. The mall there, it was an outdoor thing and everything was stolen, Ricky. Yeah. It was 19 fucking 75. There was no cops. There was no legislation. Yeah. There was no Kmart. There

was no Walmart. There was no, where do you go to get returns? You know, like when you, what's that store you go to, uh, Marshall's with TJ Maxx. That's, it's, you know, there's a stitching that's wrong. That's why you're getting $2,000 pants for $42 because the stitching is wrong. Let me ask you a question. We're from Jersey. Give me those fucking things. You know, so in those days, all that shit in English town, I looked out on that like that, that was a friend of mine who said, let's take a ride to English town and we walked around buying eight tracks. Eight tracks were cheap. They were stolen. They weren't stolen. They were duplicated. They did what Columbia house did and sold them to you for a dollar. Give me, give me 12 for $10. Are you fucking kidding me in those

days? I remember going there, my grandma, yeah. It's still there. Yeah. It's still there. I, yeah, when I was little, I'd go there all the time. Now it's still on Saturdays and Sundays. I think so, yeah. I haven't, I haven't been in years, but I, yeah, I remember. You would hear the, the crappy looking Nikes, but they, they weren't Nikes. Yeah, all bootleg stuff, all bootleg stuff. But that was then, but that was now. Then there was a place that had Congress close by. That's how the whole thing went down. There was a dumpster of sneakers and you would go in there. The only problem was you had to find the match that other motherfucker. That's where the time consumption was. So you just took a bunch out and kept throwing them out, throwing them out and you put them in

the car and then you sorted them out when you got home. Sometimes you bit, did better than others. Sometimes you said, let's go back in that dumpster and get the matches because you had to get the match. It was, and in these days there were the Julius Irving sneakers and they called them limousines for the feet and they were maybe $22, but you could get them in English town for seven. So these guys would actually go to dumpsters, jump and then bring the shit to English town and sell them for seven fucking dollars. I would take them and sell them for 15 in North Burger. What are you kidding me? Like a doctor. They didn't know there was stitching there and nobody knew what they made mistakes. Converse was fucking converse, you know, but everything.

They had rims in those days down there. They had like fucking radios for your cars, like real expensive radios and they weren't stolen out of cars. It was stuff that was hijacked off trucks. That's all it was. I never been there was hot stuff and shit. Who gave a fuck? It's English town, Jersey bitches. Was it like a store? Like a outside flea market? Outside flea market. Equivalent to the Slosson. What do they do here? What do they do here that you went to? Swapmeat. The Swapmeat. That's the same fucking thing. What's a Swapmeat down there? People go down and sell what they got. I think so. I only went there for like sneakers and stuff like that. Yeah. I think they sell like random store space, I guess. I guess you can do whatever you want. That's crazy.

Have you seen like in other countries, they have that, but they'll have like, like when I went to Israel, they'll have like barber shops in those places. They have like everything you need in the local market. It's pretty crazy. They brought to go to Israel and show those motherfuckers what it's all about. How do you, when you first started? We started Taekwondo, like everybody else. No, I grew up like playing all the sports, football, baseball, basketball. When I was 13, I started boxing. I'd have like my dad would drive me like six in the morning on a Saturday and like drop me off there. I go, it was in Fanwood. So like, like, you know, like the playing fields. Yeah. Yeah. It was, the dude who used to train Lennox Lewis, Harold,

Shadow Knight, him, his brothers had a gym. So like, it was a good spot. But you know, I wasn't so consistent. Then, then I started doing jujitsu and I was 16. And that, I took to that, like to do MMA. So eight years, been doing jujitsu, like, like seven, eight years training for MMA. Jesus Christ. Yeah. And most people just go on those circuits, local circuits for a while and they go like seven, eight fights. Yeah. That's the path I expected to take. Right. Then the, then the, your manager sends your tape to the UFC. Yeah. Or you guys, yeah, something like that. And you had him coming to your town or him coming to that fight. And he came to my debut. I figured I would have had to beat like, you know, seven or eight, beat up seven or eight more guys regionally. And

then I get my, I get in the UFC. It's a fucking dream come true. That's a dream of a comedian to go on stage and to be a director in the thing. And all of a sudden you're perfect for his movie and you get in the movie. That was the dream, you know, whatever. But it was the dream for you, which is fucking dynamite. So you went from A to Z, like the fucking one day. Yeah, I went from the regionally to that. And then you called out CM Punk and you had a plan. Yeah. Right as I found out, right? I found out like a month before the owner called me and was like, have big news. Dana White's gonna be at the fight. And I was like, all right, so how do I make the most of this? I was like, boom, I called that dude CM Punk. I'll beat my guy. I'll be one to know. CM Punk's,

oh no, that's a like record. Like that fight can happen. So I was like, you know, who, I figured everyone would be doing it. Like it seemed so obvious. Who am I gonna call out Robbie Lawler? They'd like, shut up idiot. You know, so I was a smart move, man. Genius fucking move. Yeah. So I just got on the mics. I love the fight. I didn't think anything was to happen with it. And then a month later, I was watching UFC my dad and the show commercial for the looking for a fight show. And it was like me talking. I was like, what? We like recorded the TV screen with our phones. It was wild. And the one thing I noticed is when you guys were like shaking Dana's hand after the fight, there was this one guy and I'm sure he was great. And I think he won, but he's like,

it was an honor to fight in front of you, Dana. Like it was an honor. I hope to fight in front of you again, sir. And you were like, want to know, give me CM Punk, bitch. And he really, like he responded to that. Like you would think maybe like, oh, I should be respectful to the owner of the UFC. Like want to know, give me CM Punk. No, I think I said, he didn't say, he didn't say bitch. He didn't say bitch. But he said like one, I was like, hey, want to know, man, I could, if I could happen. No, I wasn't going to be disrespectful to Dana. No, you weren't disrespectful, but you were confident. You weren't, you weren't like kissing the ring or whatever. Like however you want to say it. And it was just, it was interesting to see

that he, and even the last, the ending clip of the show is, I'm interested. Like that's like that. He, you obviously caught his attention. You know, sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it, man. And if a dude's cool, he feels your passion. He feels you. You're in like Flint. You know, it's, it's so easy. It's like when, who's the heavyweight champion, Stoic? Uh, Steve Mioček. Steve Mioček. The one time when he fought, he just went after Dana, you know, and he did it in a certain way that you could see it was his heart. Like he's like, enough is enough. Yeah. I fucking give me that belt. Yeah. Give me that fucking belt. I fucked up everybody already. You know, if you don't ask for it, they're not going

to give it to you guys. Close mouth, don't get fed. You know, if you walk up there and go, hi, I'll find whoever the corporation puts in front of me. That's great. You didn't do dick. Every time you fight, if you have a successful, a tremendous fucking win, like the last two you had, you got to go out there and sling dick. You know, half of this game is mental. You know, I like when people go a month after Mickey's going to fight in September. Who do you like? I don't fucking know. I'll tell you after the Wayne, I'll tell you after the Wayne. For me, when I used to go to Wayne's with Joe, I'd see shit that was crazy. And in my mind, I'd make a mental note. The next thing I'm like, I didn't bet it. I didn't bet it because you start learning

that that fight is one right there at that way in with the mind. It's how he reacts to it sometimes. So come out and call somebody to fuck up. They'll be home watching the same fight you're watching giggling. Yeah. And next thing, you know, Dana's got you both on the phone. If you keep winning, they got to keep giving these guys the ass for it's playing in that. That's that plan and fucking simple. A man without a plan is not a man. You know, listen, man, I didn't know this. The expectancy of a fucking running back is three years, three years. Yeah. I never fucking knew that. Okay. I never knew that fact. That's a fact because we look at people that go for six or seven years. We don't see the medium range guys that play three games and blow out their knees. Now,

they're out for a year, then they come back and do for the Giants. What's his name? He break his neck. It's like David Wilson. Yeah, he had to retire. He was like rookie of the year or like the one, the number one draft pick. Yeah. Like, and then yeah, he's like a year or two was supposed to be like the next, like our next running back out, bad neck career over. And you don't even, those are the ones that you see. But like, like Joey was saying, a lot of time is like sometimes, because I used to be a big fan. I used to have a lot of time when I was young. And you see these people get drafted, especially quarterbacks, you see them get drafted in a year or two later. They're selling real estate or they're just just because they don't get any chance. Like,

it's crazy. Our good buddy, Nate Boyer, who came on when he was like, I think he's still around. He's still lurking. Oh yeah, he's still around. But yeah, it was just, it's, it's, there's so little, so few jobs and it's too competitive. It's so weird now, even in you're a young man, you're 24, but you remember George St. Pierre? Hell yeah. Like a lot of people don't. Like when I heard this couple of weeks ago that a lot of people don't remember who, that's how much new fans have gotten. Okay. The Conor McGregor crew. The whole crew, maybe even a little before Conor McGregor. They don't even know who who GSP is. Right now, MMA, UFC is moving really fast. Yeah. You're on a fast fucking moving trend right now. And you're intelligent as a fuck because you have a plan.

You know, Lee, what do we always talk about being fucking? What's that word you say that calculated calculated? That's, that's big. And it's tough to be calculated at young age. Yeah. To have the control. You have all the weapons, you know, so. Wow. Was doing Jiu Jitsu at 16 help that? Because you really, it seems like that would be it. Yeah, probably. Yeah, that problem solving and stuff like that, thinking ahead. I've always been smart after, you know, to my own horn, but yeah, my, my, my Jiu Jitsu coach, real strategic guy, David Adiv. He was like his rarely special forces, Jiu Jitsu black belt, seventh degree. So yeah, he, uh, he's a serious dude. He instilled that in me a little bit too,

along with my, with my dad. It's just really weird that, uh, when you start fighting, playing football, you wrestle, especially from the area we're from. We have so many fucking knuckleheads, you know, and, and a lot of people punch hard, you know, they gifted with the gift of punching hard. They got a purple belt and Jiu Jitsu. They got a tattoo. They fight three times. They go three, you know, they do a couple of shots at deck of the roblin to really make them crazy. They do some ecstasy, some weekends, some more steroids. You put that whole mix together with the tattoo ink. You're fucked. You understand me? You're fucked. And they go into a situation or

they go three, you know, with knockouts. They hit really hard, but they go into the UFC with that. I would just start knocking people out and you run into Damien Mayer technique. And now it takes two years to get out even up to close to going in that fucking momentum with Damien Mayer. You're so fucking well rounded. You're so well rounded right off the fucking bat. That's what really scared me, especially after watching you Saturday. I go, wait a second. And you have control. So you have all the weapons right there. It's just a matter of the man without a plan is not a man. Nietzsche, you follow me? Yes, sir. You got it. That's it. And the rest is about Jersey. Who gives a fuck?

It's all about Jersey. That's what you were going to take a beating. Oh my God, I took, I got beat up so many times in Jersey. I never got beat up down the shoulder. I didn't cause problems down the shoulder. I was a little smarter than that. Were you going to beat up North Jersey? North Jersey. Yeah. North Jersey. You know, all on my own stupidity. One time I got beat up in the city. One time we got chased trying to go get drugs or something, but never like we didn't start trouble. One time I got beat up, but this guy was trying to bait. We would mug these fucking pedophiles and shit up in North Jersey. So you were mugging pedophiles. Mugging fags. That's justice. No, these guys, the guys that were drinking in the city and they get drunk

and they wanted a guy to suck their dick. So they take the fucking West Side Highway and come over to Northern New Jersey and we'd hang out by a park and we had a dude who looked kind of handsome. We'd take his shirt off and he'd be the bait and we'd wait by a fucking tree, you know what I'm saying? What would he do before a car? What would he just be like? He would just be standing on the corner whistling. And the car would pull up and then he'd do a U-turn and then he'd do another turn and on that one he'd look at you like, and you look back and all of a sudden he'd pull up and go, excuse me, do you know how to get to 48-8, 29th Street and the guys are like, no, you're on

fucking 200th Street. You're far away. Are you looking for a ride or are you lost? And I almost said, it would be perfect. I saw this at 17-16. So what, then you guys are running up on the dude in the car? No, no, no. Then my buddy would go, so what do you want to do? You know what do you want to do? I don't know what do you want to do? I don't know. Pull the car over. Let's talk about it. And the guy would get out of the car because your fucking thing is weak. Here you are. This guy's like 25, 26. He's probably married, got a kid.

But he's been wanting to get his dick sucked for years. He just follows Italian. He could never get his dick sucked when his father's still alive. Oh, he won't get none of that real money. He was on the way back from the funeral or something? There's a lot of guys like that, but you could tell they want to suck a dick, but they got too deep. They fell into the American dream. And now they can't tell them, but they want to suck a dick. They're too, they got kids, they got a wife. But when you see him, you're like, that dude's a dick sucker. We don't have that one friend in

the circle that you look at and you go, you know what? I know one that if I get real drunk, I could talk this guy in the suck of my dick one night at four in the morning with nobody's watching and shit. Hysterical. It really is fucking crazy how, I don't even know what we're talking about. You mugging the pedophiles. So they would, they get out of the car and they would come up to my friend and my friend would walk with them. And I never climbed one of the trees. I'm never a tree climb. I'd hide behind a tree and shit. And he'd take them under the tree where my body would be up there, like fucking Rambo trying to fall off the tree. And also my friend would go, you want me to suck

a dick? Yeah. I'd pull your wisdom money. And the guy would take the 50 out. And if he had like more cash on him, he'd go take down your pants. The guy would take his dick out as my friend would put one knee down. He'd come right up and kick the guy in the balls. The guy would drop and then the guy in the tree would drop on them with a karate chop and all of a sudden eight of us would charge him with bayonets and leaves and fucking. Dude's about to have like, he's so excited and it just turns so bad. Oh my God. You want a fucking nightmare. And I'm for the record, I probably did it six times to like fucking, like two of them, like chubby truck, truck drivers, like none of these guys were really gay. These guys were not gay at all. They were just confused guys.

I saw that in early and I saw, I would go down either you turn the whole thing would play out. We'd be sitting there for three, four hours, but there was a crew of guys in North Bergen that had become professionals at it. Like this is like, we were talking about things that happened in Jersey when I was growing up. There was, my town is really big. How big is watching? How big was your I'm from Greenbrook. Greenbrook. That's like, yeah, it's right near North Plainfield. Bridgewater. All right. Now, right there, right there. Now, how far is North Plainfield from motherfucking Plainfield? Right next to the border. Yeah. When I was a kid, Plainfield was bad. Yeah. Plainfield's tough. North Plainfield's, you know, yeah, they're tough. It's tough spot.

North Plainfield. Jesus fucking Christ. I haven't heard those words in years. Grow up playing football with all those kids. Did you? Yeah. Group three or group four? In high school, we were group four. I watch on, I watch on, I was, I was having football. So you guys, group four and you guys were white. Yeah. Oh, watching him super white. That's all the rest of the up. So that means you played a big black motherfuckers from group four because group four, my district is, we had to play, you know, East Orange and Bayonne and Jersey City, you know, not, we didn't play Hudson Catholic in basketball. We had to play St. Anthony's.

Okay. Because they're group four. You were North Bergen. I was, I went to North Bergen, which is Hudson County. So we were group four, but that's right. Cause it's like group four, section eight. That means they got 90 fucking eight. What do the groups mean? Size of the school. Size of the school. So we had a 1500 graduating class, my high school, in 1982. So we were group four. Yeah. Well, we're like 2000 something. Yeah. How many? No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's 600 a grade. That's, that's like 2000. Jesus. I was like 300 a grade. Yeah. So we were group four. We were group four up, which is Hoboken. Yeah. Hoboken. Union Hill. Memorial's group four.

Yeah. We play union. We play union. We put hackensack. Hackensack. All those. The ghosts. Plainfield. Yeah. Plainfield. Now who plays like Neptune, New Jersey? I don't know. That's down the shore. Where is fuck. Okay. Let me tell you something. That was the scariest thing I ever saw in 1980. It was Neptune, New Jersey, Bitty basketball. 1980. It was fucking on motherfuckers. It was real. They say the rumor that Neptune is where Joe Thysman's from. Isn't Joe? He's from down there. And so is Jack Nicholson. Yeah. From that, right. Manusquan, Neptune, whatever. Supposedly Neptune, but Manusquan claimed them and shit. See, because he didn't want to let people know he was from Neptune,

New Jersey. Joe Thysman claimed his new Brunswick. And where, where, where, yeah, maybe, maybe, I may be wrong. Where'd he go to high school? Watch. Okay. Let's see. Let's see here. Let's see. Mr. fucking New Brunswick. Unless you want to. That's my stomping ground. Yeah. Unless he went to New Brunswick High, he's fucking shit. Watch. South River High. How far is that? How far is that? How far? South River? Yeah. See? Down the fucking shore, cock sucker. Don't lie to me, bitch. No wonder Lawrence Taylor broke your leg, cock sucker. Told you. He claims, yeah, they claim that shit later. Because South River, is that, is that right past, uh, like New Highland Park, like right past? I have no idea. The only thing I'll say is if it could be just the hospital he

was born at was in New Brunswick. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. That's why I said, yeah. What high school? It's going to say they're from whatever, but where'd they grow up? Yeah. At least when they say South River, that means people are dying. Yeah. He was raised in South River. That's what South River means. Mother fuckers are dying. Okay. There's a river there. So they put Adrienne in fucking South River and shit, right? Oh my God. That's the truth. That's when they put a South River, that whole fucking area there by whatever. The woods. Is that where they got stuck in the woods in the, in the Sopranos? The Russian? That's the pine, as a pine baron. That's the pine barons. That's down the shore. That's fucking crazy. Down the shore, that's where you guys see people

get kicked in the teeth. Oh my God. That's why I told you. I've seen some, listen, it's 1982. We rent the fucking house. Seaside? Seaside and then little bits of, you could get little hotels in those days, which had been there since 1940. Those things were older than dick, but on the seaside, seaside park border, when I was in high school, there was a fucking guy. That's it. He had sabred hot dogs with the chili and the buns. No, he had the, the onions and the sauerkraut and the whole thing, but he was Italian. He made his own chili with a little kick to it. Yeah. Oh my fucking God. I would give a hand for that fucking chili right now. He would get you for 10 hot, no, he would give you 12 hot dogs for 20 bucks. When we were in

high school, we'd smoke a fucking joint and we'd eat, go in on that and tip the motherfucker. And he had like sodas and something else. Everybody down the shore had some different angle, man. The Burger King. Where's fucking, see you guys are too young. There was a club called Montego Bay. I wonder where, see Manusquan has the biggest bar in Jersey, the, the whatever the foot. What is it? No, the biggest bar down the Jersey shore is in Manusquan. It's called the Osprey. The Osprey's been there since Jesus less Chicago dog. That's how long my high school football coaches worked security at the fucking Osprey. That's how old that fucking place is.

So wherever Belmar, Belmar, that Belmar, that Burger King in Belmar, let me drop it on you, was the only Burger King in New Jersey when I was in high school that served sweet iced tea in the summer. That motherfucker was hopping jack, you understand me? Hopping fucking iced tea with lemon in it. We live for that shit in Jersey. I remember going down the shore, I was telling some guys a story the other day about now for me to live where I live, to go down the shore, I heard on a Friday night, it really is three or four hours. Is that true? I don't, you don't live down. For what? To go to go down north to drive down. If you go late, you can make it two, but yeah, it could be three hours for sure. From where you're coming from, yeah, you're at the top,

you're probably New York. When I was a kid, it used to be 45 fucking minutes. No way. Oh my god. I wish. When I was in high school, I was so fortunate. We had buddies that worked at UPS in Saddlebrook, all right, and they worked from 11 to two when they got out of two. But I had this other friend named Rob Merlo, and his dad had a restaurant in Paramus called Mando's. So he would pay us each 25 bucks and all you could eat if we would go back to his bar at one in the morning and we cleaned the bar and then we worked for Stinky and the other guy, they got out of work at fucking UPS and we all drive down the seaside together. Okay. We weren't fucking high school guy, 50 bucks, unbelievable. Kids went through this shit today. They're too busy on their fucking computers,

analyzing things, Ubering, fucking yelping and shit. Yelp and nothing. Take a chance, Columbus did. So fucking, we would go back to this restaurant and I remember he'd go into the office and his dad had lobster tails and we'd start eating those fucking lobster tails and make it like we owned the joint and he would come back and go, what happened to the lobster tails? We'd go through 20 lobster tails. I said you could eat anything, not just the lobster tails. We'd eat the fucking lobster tails. We'd get fucking hammered, you know, and then get in the car and drive down the shore and we wouldn't pay tolls. Okay. That's about as 45 minutes you're doing 90. No, no, I'm still with that. Or, or the guy in the passenger seat would hook you out a quarter over if it made it

the dinner. Say la vie, motherfucker. If it dies, it dies. Really crazy shit, man. That, you know, like I told you guys before, when you tell people that you ran a toll, if you tell normal people, they'll look at you and go, why? It's a corner. What kind of, that'd be. I don't have time to stop and roll down my window and aim and put it. Oh my God. I want to fly. Now they got that fucking thing. They'll ping the quick flight and then that mother, at the end of the month, you're going to bill for 2000. You're done. If I live there, I'm going to bill for 2000. I'm in the Bronx getting the fucking bread, $20 to go to the fucking Bronx anymore. Like they tore all the toll booths down in Massachusetts. It's crazy. It's all digital now. Can you imagine? No. That

used to be like a bunch of jobs. Listen, bro, we're living in communist times not even knowing it. They know exactly what all five of us are right now with our phones and our own little stupidity. We logged in on Facebook. Everybody knows what we got. Everybody knows what I have. That's the craziest one to me checking in, especially if you're on vacation. I don't want anyone to know I'm on vacation. My buddy just got his door kicked in. I flew him out to Cali with me for the fight. I fly like my boys out. So they're with me all week. The first day he's gone, his door gets kicked in. He's an Allentown PA. Or no, Easton PA. Easton. Door gets kicked in, TV stolen. That's got to be like someone who you know, right? Up on Facebook.

They probably saw your Instagram or something. See that? Yeah. Oh, he just got out of Cali. They're drinking his shit. They're kicking your fucking door. If you drive back, I'd go in your house, cook eggs, do laundry, sniff your mom's underwear, and then take the piano with 18 fucking hours. Are you fucking kidding me? Doug, I used to work construction. I moved to Snowmass in April of 83, and I had a couple jobs, but I wanted a job in Snowmass. I didn't want to go off the hill. If you go to Colorado, sometimes you have to, it would take me like, and it wouldn't be a pain. He has to go downhill, as they called it, down valley. It was next to Aspen Snowmass Village, but I got a job in these

fucking, I was walking one day, I'm talking to this dude, and I asked him what he was doing. He was remodeling these condos, but this is a fucking filthy rich people that would buy a condo in Aspen in Snowmass, but they would live in Boston per se, but they might visit or they wouldn't visit, and they'd leave their skis in there, poles, the whole thing. We were working on these things. We had to have the doors open. I would just go in their houses and watch TV and put my feet up and shit. The whole eight weeks, I was on the fucking job. Every day, I was in a different house watching TV, and they're fucking crackers and shit. They didn't have nothing good in there. Sometimes they had a soda. Who the fuck, who the fuck has that much money?

That's scary. What about them popping in on you? Like, how can you enjoy watching that TV? Because I was doing construction. Okay, you had it out. I was taking a break. No, no, no, man. I wanted to know what happened. Something happened in San Francisco. My uncle lives down the earthquake. Oh, it's okay. There's always a bullshit. I'm not going to just sit in your house like an asshole. That's what I'm saying. But I knew these people wouldn't come back. I knew the daily report. The guy that I was doing construction was telling me, these people ain't coming back. Going to that guy's and turn the power in there, plug this in there, plug that in that condo. There was only, it was like four condos or five condos will work out. And it was the weirdest

shape. It's just a fucking, who the fuck knows. What's up, Lee? You got something on your mind, kid? I would just always be like that. Like that, I think would be the way to do it now. If you were going to be a robber, you'd have to go on social media. That's what I was saying. Like that. Yeah, but you can't be a robber no more because you got to figure seven out of 10 people got a camera. You want it. Everybody's got a camera. And you know what? You got a mask on, you can fucking dress up like Nixon. It don't give a fuck. They'll get you one way. They can follow you back. They got something and then you have your phone on you. They catch you one way or another. The GPS in your car, you made a phone call from your car and they hit a satellite that hit the

line. There's always a by the way now. Run a red light. They take a picture. Listen, we're going to do smoke and joint when I see a side. You won't even cross the street when the time is up. They got you. They fucking got you. They really got you, man. And you know, you think about what communism is, is being watched, not told what to think, but kind of, we're being, we're watched. Well, every time you lift that fucking computer and you type in your stupidity, you know, I want to see a chick eat a fucking tennis ball with a finger in her asshole. That goes right to the government. Look at this Momo, right? Also, some guy gets a beep and there you are. Your camera turns on and there you are whacking off in this fucking circle on the camera and they got

you on. Do you don't think they're watching you when you're whacking off on the computer? What do you think? What do you think happens? They watch everything. They watch everything, man. But anyway, who gives a fuck? We're all dead already. They all have our passwords. They all have everything. They were dead. Do you have to worry about that, Mickey? Like, even from like a UFC state? Like, are you worried about going out to a club and someone instigating something, then you get in trouble with TMZ or anything like that? Nah, I'm not really. I never look for fights. But you know, if something happened like that, yeah, I'd hit them. I'd get out of there quick. Or not even that. Maybe, like, I don't know,

a girl or whatever, like a Twitter tirade against someone, whatever it may be. Do you have to think and calm down? Because I'm always surprised that all these athletes are even allowed to have social media. Whenever someone has a crazy social media thing happen, I'm like, I don't get it. Yeah, it's tough, man. Social media is a weird thing. You know, you're a young guy and stop and it's not like you're out fucking booze and whatever, but here's the funny thing. In today's fucking world, with what you got going on, you have to kind of live in a bubble for you to achieve your dream, man. You gotta be smart. Listen, shit's not gonna happen to you when you go

before your boy is for a drink. But we're from Jersey. There's always one fucking knucklehead, bro. And it's that knucklehead. You want me to tell you one day you're gonna hear, hey, man, remember when we were 13 on Pee Wees? Remember I fucking tackled you that? And you're like, why are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? And he'll come at you, like, whoa, whoa, why? And you're like, what are you? And all you wanted to do was go in there and get a soda, your little pizza joint. There's always one of those morons, we're from that, you know, it's not when you go out to a club. It's always with, you know, that one drunk dude, you ain't dick, you have Mr. UFC. Remember when we were 12? Remember that? I fucking tackled

you pussy. What are you talking about? I tackled you and you cried. You ain't shit, Mr. UFC. Is it fun going back home? Like, do people freak out? I mean, I haven't been home since the last one, but after the Sam Punk one, everyone, I'm just, yo, you're that guy who beat up Sam Punk. Everyone's like, like a gas station across the street. I mean, yeah, I'm that guy who beat up Sam Punk. I got anybody come up to you and go, bro, you beat up Sam Punk, beat me up punk. I'll fuck you. Nah, nah, nah. Soon, soon. Yeah, I'm waiting for that. God forbid. And you have to giggle. Yeah. Like a guy like you like giggles. I have guys come up

and be like, dude, I was rooting for Sam Punk. I'm like, oh, all right, sorry, buddy. Sorry to do it to you. Why would you go up to something in today's world? Just shut your fucking mouth. I was raised. You don't want to shut your fucking mouth. People are crazy. People are really. You must get, you must get a lot of people saying dumb shit. You know what? When people drink at comedy shows, after the shows, they get kind of crazy, but I write it off, man. I write it off in a weird way, like they're drinking. I know they ain't an edible. They probably started drinking at four. You have to judge the circumstances. This isn't a big city, you know? There's always something, you know? And I just, I understand that at this point. And there's always a lot of people there. So there's

always a line. So they're always moving, you know? Yeah. Who the fuck knows, man? It was a, we were speaking about before the show about like, how, like not knowing how to like, how I get like really, when I get really stoned, how I can like still manage, but I like, I'm still fucked up. But Joey, you can really manage when I was thinking about was, isn't it, it's kind of like when people get in a fight and they like, they kind of go crazy. Like I've never been in a fight. I think if I got punched, I think I wouldn't know what to do. Do you think it's kind of comparable to like, you know, if you got probably you kind of reacting and, and knowing how to handle yourself? What do you mean? Like we were talking about how like, for me, I have built up a tolerance

to weed in a way, in a small way. Do you think you've built up a tolerance to getting punched in a way? Like it doesn't shock you? I don't know. In a fucked up way. I see what you're saying. No, I'd probably, no one's like punching me, like just walking down the street though, you know, I mean, out there. Like you mean, you mean out, out in the wild? I mean, even in League of C. Uh, yeah, I guess you get, you get a little desensitized to it. Not your first time getting hit. Yeah, but you've been getting hit. The fuck? Yeah, but yeah, but you know, you're getting it. If you were going into a cage to get in a fight, you'd be like, I know I'm probably gonna get hit. You know what I mean?

Right. You probably know that, but I mean, finding CM, having fought CM Punk, do you, do you think he was shocked? Do you think he was like unprepared? Oh yeah, man, yeah, maybe. I don't think anyone hit, no, I don't think anyone hit him the way I hit him. Right. So yeah, that probably opens his eyes a little bit, but you've got the adrenaline and all that stuff going. No, no, no, I'm not, who knows, that could be way too stone, but it just you're way too fucking stone. Trust me. You're not trying to confuse the guy. You're worse than my wife. My wife tonight ordered something and the wrong order got there. And she's like, call them up and I'm gonna call them up. And she goes, uh-oh, I think I'm gonna fucked up.

And like, I know you did because you talk too much. You confuse them. You confuse yourself out of the fucking game. Two weeks ago, the baby wants to go to McDonald's. I hate fucking McDonald's, but I go to McDonald's as a joke. As a joke. A month before that I said to a, wow, that McRib don't look too bad. Listen, I wouldn't need a fucking McRib if he gave me a thousand dollars. It looks good and I want to eat that fucking thing, but I know I'm gonna fucking die if I eat that thing. We go up to the counter. The dude barely speaks English. I ordered the baby, the six piece McNugget. My wife wants to fucking call the pounder. You know what? I'll take a quarter pound and she goes, I know you're thinking about the fucking,

the whatever. I don't say nothing. Next thing you know, there's a fucking big rib there because the dude don't fucking abloh and she just brings shit up. And then she, she confuses herself sometimes. And I told her, this is what happens when you fucking bring that shit up tonight. She fucked up the order again. And now that's Lee. I don't even know what the fuck you're saying. What happens if you get hit? If he's been fighting, how long you've been fighting for? Eight years. Eight years. How many times you get hit in the head already? I don't know. A lot. Okay. All right. Have you ever had a broken nose? No. All right. God bless you fucking soul. Yeah. But he's been hit Lee. The way you have experience in coming in here, the way you have experience how to download the podcast

and how to navigate a podcast, if it gets lost, unlike you and myself, I fucking, if you pass my garden, land on top of me and grab my shoulder, I see fucking stars. I don't even need to get hit anymore. You understand me? He has already built that tolerance. Exactly. Yeah. You know, that's why the first time I saw one, Brock Lesnar fought that guy. Over him? No. For us guys. The white dude, from Denver that hits hard. Are you tearing? No. That's threatening to come back. Oh, big muscle. Shane Carlin. Shane Carlin. One of the first things I noticed when he fought Shane Carlin, Shane Carlin popped him and fucking, if you see, he covered his face. I could tell right there he had never been punched in the fucking face before. They're big dudes like that. They don't

get hit because they're so big. People don't want to know. I got an email three or four days later from somebody saying, don't you know that when you train with them, you're not allowed to hit them in the face? Why do that? Then why do this? This is a game where you get you hit. The number one thing is recovery. When I was fucking six, I got hit in the head with a flashlight, took me 18 years to recover, fighting for me. You know what I'm saying? When I was 24, one day I woke up, what happened? ABCD. I got hit in the fucking head with a flashlight in Central Park. That's a true story. It took me a day and a half to recover from the shock. It was the first time my life virginity had been broken because, you know, for you to get in the fucking ring,

for you to get up one day and go, you know what? I think I'm going to become a fucking fighter. Something must have happened. You must have bitch slapped the motherfucker one day after a football game or thrown somebody up against the wall. There was this one certain guy that everybody thought that was a badass. You just tormented his fucking life. You understand me? So one day you realize you want to do this. You go in there to do trains you for a few weeks, then come spa Thursday, whatever. You go in there and the guy looks like fucking me in heat and all of a sudden next thing you know your nose is broken, your ear is huge, your stomach hurts, you're bleeding from everywhere. The guy that comes back the next day. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's the guy.

Right there. That's it. This guy's going to tell you he broke a rib. It's floating. I used to spar five days a week at AMA Fight Club. You know AMA Fight Club, right? Mike Constantino. No. Jim and Dan Miller. Where is it? Oh, no. Okay. In Jersey. In Jersey. In Whippity. Whippity. Now, how far is Whippity from your house? 20. 20 minutes. 20, 25. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. That's where I cut my teeth training with those guys. Jim, Dan Miller, Charlie Brennan. That's a great jiu-jitsu base right there. Yeah. I used to, I didn't grow up fighting that much. I got in a couple of scraps of kid, but yeah, I was sparring five days a week then. Which is way too much, but I was, you know, I was like, I was like 20. Just loving it. Just

having fun. Four MMA sparring? Yeah. And sometimes just like kickboxing. Yeah. Yeah. Not, not every day. Like I do like the, I do the Muay Thai sparring one day. And then yeah, three days a week, I do the pro practices where it was, yeah, we're sparring. Would you just do solid huh? Yeah. Yeah. Sound like a motherfucker. Can't take that away from your Tarzan. Jesus Christ. Where else do you train? Uh, Gracie, New Jersey. That's where my jiu-jitsu got. And where's that? It's in Clinton, southwest, right off, like that exit 17 off 78. Oh boy, you're a whale after that. Yeah, that's west. I know Clifton. Clifton, that's north. Yeah. That's north. That's my route three. Yeah. It used to be a driving theater there. That's why

I first saw a Kung Fu movies in the show. Yeah. But Clifton and that's the Israeli guy. That's in Clinton. That's the Israeli Israeli guy. Yeah. David Adiv. Badass. Oh, I could just a fucking jiu-jitsu jiu. Those motherfuckers ain't fucking around. We're grabbing my guy weapons. No, no. You fucking get him in an armbar. He still has a flying star in this. Yes. What the fuck happened? I had a flying star in my geek. That's Jewish jiu-jitsu. You know what I'm saying? But they know it. That's real jiu-jitsu right there. As you're taking that arm back for the armbar and you're like, watch my hip, you really fucking. What happened? I don't know. Yeah, that's, uh, that's a different fucking level jungle type

shit. They had some of that shit to it. We, how you feeling over there? Oh my god, I'm feeling, I'm going through changes tonight. Are you? Those chocolate, whatever. What are those called? Space bars? Moon. Moon bars. Oh my god. I have to not breathe. That's my trick. I just, I just don't breathe out of my nose. And that's why I make noises because it's just, as soon as it hits the back of my throat, it's like, it's crazy. See, everything's going to be all right. We work it all out. Know what's the story? You want to fight in Brooklyn? Um, that's, that's a nice one. That's a nice card.

February 11th. It's quick. I'd be a quick turn around. I gotta say I got the stitches. I got eight stitches. I, um, I got 20, I got 21, uh, three weeks before CM punk. I had to hide that. And then the doctor's like, you got to give it six months for the collagen. I was like, fuck that. I'm fighting. And then I took it, this other quick fight. So this is the things that I got. I should probably give it a little time. Yeah. Brooklyn's quick turn around. Dude, I got to show it. Actually, you probably, you probably faint if I showed you the picture. I won't show you that. Yeah. I don't want to see that. I'm just thinking about just talking about, I see you change a little bit. Yeah. That's fucked up. That's the hardest part that, oh my god,

after you get cut or something, they just wipe that blood right there. I would tap. I'll listen. Enough is enough. That made me feel good. When, when I got cut in this fight, I was like, oh, I like this. That warm blood on your face drives some people crazy. That's what it's supposed to be. That's, that's when the party starts. Yeah. That's it. That's what the party starts. Anybody who knows anything knows once that first blood, everything's all right. You want to bit slap me. You want to kick me in the leg. That's all right. Nothing going to do nothing for nobody. But once motherfucker sees he's bleeding, that's the party. Now what? Now what? Now you motherfucker, watch this and shit. Watch your head. What's up, Lisa? Why are you looking at me? Oh,

fuck the blade. Your head back. It's gonna be all right. Lay your head back. If you're gonna fuck me, we're gonna eat it. I thought we were gonna eat another star to respect for Hanukkah this weekend. Absolutely. What the fuck? Let's do this shit. Do this shit. Do this shit. Do this shit. What? Do this shit. Look at your fucking bad motherfucking representing Jersey and shit. All day. You don't go to other jujitsu places at all. You don't go to... I've been out in Manhattan in the Henzos. I guess I worked there. There's great guys there. But uh, like technique wise, I mean, yeah, David Deve, he's sharp. He's like, he's like gonna be... What would shows? No, it shows, man. Again, it fucking shows. Strangling people, man. Yeah, all that.

That was tremendous. Yeah. That was tremendous. I just sat there. But I saw the countdown later that night. I remember that time. Oh, fuck, I did tape it. What happened to that day? I saw two little girls and you and I go, I'm starting to get this picture here. This could become fucking deadly. This is New Jersey and shit. Now you gotta go back this summer and jump in that wall. That wall is tough. New Jersey? I would go every weekend. That's a secret, right? That's what nobody's got over here. I was tan for the CM Punk flex. I was in the water every, every weekend. Yeah, yeah. All that nuclear energy. Love it. And all that New Jersey waste gets in here. That ocean. They can't fucking stop. I'm saying, you know, it's all over. You're like fucking Spider-Man. They don't

even know it. They don't even know it. I don't think they saw a test for that. They can't, they can't even pick that up. They have no fucking idea. That beach was polluted with hypodermic needles 20 years ago. Dude, I've been going there my whole life. My grandma and my grandparents owned a house in LBI right near the beach. So all summer. That water toughens you up like a motherfucker. They don't even know. They gotta check, check deep, deep, deep into the cells and make up a diabolic and there's oil slicks in there and mafia bodies and fucking everything. Jimmy Hoffa all the way. Jimmy Hoffa dust and the whole fucking deal and shit. Jimmy Hoffa dust. I like that one. You should sell that on your, on your site.

You make a killing. Don't make me laugh. Don't start to get really high on those other stuff. You make my adrenaline go up, you cock sucker. See, this is the part I don't like. This is the part where, this is the part where there's a part where your head just hums and I could deal with the humming and hear, you know, the loud noises and the fucking yelling and I could deal with all that. It's when I have to do something very physical that I turn my head real quick while I laugh. That's when I feel, oh shit, this could get ugly. So then I gotta start breathing out of my nose. I gotta go back to the island of serenity.

I get the party started. I'm back. Did you still go to the island of serenity? Every time, every time I lose control. How many years ago was that? Five, four years ago, but it works for me, cock sucker, right? No, I just love that. You went to like two sessions with her and you still use it. Why not? It was a buck 20th session. I gotta get that down to $50 a day, you know what I'm saying? That's what I give the fucking animals, $50 a day. 50 cents a day. I'm sorry. Yeah, man. It calms me down. It still works. Oh, you know, you want me to say what's up to you? Todd Duffy. Todd. Oh, that fucking savage.

I'm doing his podcast tomorrow, calling in the fighter's opinion. Now, where is he? He's in Santa Cruz. Is that what I was saying earlier? Santa Cruz? Fuck, that's a good place. He's a good dude. He is a good dude. He is a good dude. I haven't seen him. When I do San Jose or something, he shows up and I bumped into him into a UFC. Where's he fighting now? A UFC still? Yeah. Yeah. I think he has something coming up. He was talking to you about auctioning off one of his corner tickets. Like one of the people to be in his corner. Okay. I don't know. He'll talk to you about it. Okay. I hope so. Yeah. Auction off his corner tickets. Wow.

So like someone could like go and walk out with him to be the back. It's kind of a cool idea. It's a great idea. I would never want to be in somebody's corner because of that. I can, if you put me strategically, I could yell and I'd give you a little instruction in different languages. What's that? It's intense. What's the corner? Like being in the corner, like when, like I had a buddy, my buddy, LJ Roboli fight recently, all of a sudden it hits you. You get nervous because you can't control it. When it's you, at least you can control it. It's just him going in there. Beat you up to do it out 26 seconds. So no problem. I could never go to one of your fights. No. No, because I got to know you and I got to like you.

I don't want to know nothing. Tell me later. Yeah. I could watch it on TV, but I could never go see you. My grandma watched this one. I told her not to. I told her not to watch any of them. She watched this one. She called me today. You know, I watched. And what'd she say? She was like, well, I looked away on the parts I didn't like, but she felt bad for seeing punk after she watched my last one. She's like, how could you do that to him? It's not for them. How good is that feeling to have your family watch on TV? I have no family to watch me. No mom and no dad. How great is it that your family is still alive to watch them on, to watch on TV? Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm fortunate man. I'm happy. Take your family. They all came out.

Great is that? Yeah. They all, they all flew out. I see them stressing out all week. Trying to keep them calm. Oh, fuck. I could never imagine having a son going into the fucking hot to God and shit and me going to the fight. I could never even imagine it. My head would blow up. I'm not cut out for that type of shit. I'm really not. My head would blow up. My head goes somewhere else, man, at those things. Like one time I got to talk to Anderson Silva and I got to talk to him again. And I went to a fight one time where he got into trouble. Like I was ready to get a gun. Like I'm old school. I get the fucking gun, dog. This is getting deeper than I'm like, what is it? I'm going to fucking UFC fight just because I, uh, just because I know don't mean

I got to fucking go in there. Like I get, so I don't go. I just, once somebody I like is on the card, I won't go to those fights. I'll watch him at the house, but I'll get up. I'll go outside and smoke a joint, make believe I don't know nothing. Then I'll come in, he'll win. I go, I knew he was going to win. I just can't fucking watch. I get too nervous. I don't like that shit. Yeah, that's rough. That's rough. That's why I watch him. Like I was watching Jim Miller. I applaud your parents, brother. I applaud your parents. Yeah. You're my big hug when you get home. Oh, I will. They're cool motherfuckers. They went to see you and they got balls of steel. You would have loved my dad. I'm surprised you guys think you guys

probably crossed paths back in the day. Did he go to Birkin County, Jeff? No, no. His, uh, the last, after my last fight, his friends were up telling me like, dude, your dad was like, he was like the baddest guy in New Jersey. He was like, he was the toughest guy in New Jersey. He, and he was like, he was a football player. Like he tried out for the Giants. It wasn't like a troublemaker, but he'd throw it down. Like they had stories, wild stories. What high school did he go to? Watching? He went to, no, he went to Menalpin. He went to St. John Vandy for a little bit beat. Like he like started, he was starting football and he got in a bunch of, he got a couple of fights for like the seniors. And then he had, he got like, he had to leave

there. Went to Menalpin. The only kids I remember when I was growing up and down the shore, Pipa Nuska from Brick. Okay. Brick, that's you, right? Around it. Yeah. Yeah. Brick. And there was a kid, Craig Hayward that just died recently. He played in the NFL, Craig Hayward, Ironhead. He was big out of like Montclair or something. No, no, no, he was from somewhere else. But I'll tell you what, man, when I was about, I got left back, right? Not because I was stupid, but because I fell in love with this girl and started dry humping her. This is a true story in the sixth grade, in the seventh grade. So we got left back. And this is a fucked up story. Like I liked basketball. At that time I used to go to karate every fucking day. Then Bruce Lee died and I kept going to

karate. I went to karate in unison in New Jersey at this Gusham Roo karate place and he would check your report card. If you didn't get good grades, you still make you come in and do the jumping jacks and the push-ups. But when he taught, you'd have to do your homework. And then he checked it after. By the time he stopped teaching, you had to have your homework fucking done. This is old school. I think I was like an ex-marine and shit. You didn't want to go to those classes. But I liked what he did. I liked what he did and I was okay. But when I started dry humping that girl, I stopped going to class. Why go to karate class when you're dry humping? And we weren't even having sex and I was already fucking in love with it. Like it was driving me fucking bananas. So I got left back.

I just had to start from the seventh grade. She wouldn't let me dry humping no more because I got left back. Once you get left back, you can't dry hump somebody. I ain't going to dry hump this fucking loser. Dry hump this fucking loser. I got left back in the seventh grade. Who gets left back in the seventh grade? Fuck. And one night, man, I'm watching the NCAA fucking finals. I swear to God, I'm just sitting there. I don't know nothing about nothing. I'm into basketball. I'm interested in basketball. I could fucking rebound. I could, I could jump. You know, I, I'm not a great shooter, but whatever. And I'm watching this fucking basketball game. And they're announcing the starting. This is national motherfucking TV. And they're announcing

the starting five players from North Carolina. You know, it's like to go to North Carolina. That's like fucking being a UFC fighter. Yeah. I'm saying and submitting the motherfucker on national television. That's what it's like to go to North Carolina where that was the basketball. That was the top. North Carolina played Marquette on national television for the national championship. This other team's coach was retiring that night, but fucking North Carolina was on a fucking row. But somebody had gotten hurt in North Carolina. There was an adjustment. And I'll never forget that they announced the senator and then the two guards and then the forward and the forward when they said he was in Jersey, city of Jersey, my fucking head blew up.

I was like, what the fuck did he just say? And all of a sudden they started talking about this kid. They're like, this kid is a savage. And I'm like, a savage from New Jersey, a savage. And they're like, he, the player before him got hurt on Saturday. And he went in there into the final four and scored 31 motherfucking points as a sixth man. Nobody's ever done that as a sixth man. Now he, they just said, fuck it, start him in the finals. And he was just a skinny motherfucking white kid. And you know, he's, there's 10 dudes on the fucking thing in those days. And there was only one white dude. It was this dude battling it out. And he stayed out like 14 points and like eight rebounds. But I thought I was like, fuck it. And some came from Jersey,

said he could do it on national TV. We got to figure something out here, man. This kid was, and then the reports came out. He's still around. Michael Corrin. He's an announcer somewhere for TNT somewhere, but I'll never forget that moment. Like that made me so fucking happy. And I didn't even know him. I can't imagine what your fucking family feels like. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. It's gotta be crazy. You're going to go home. There's a parade and watch out. Well, how did your Dujitsu school feel? Cause that, that would have been, like, especially since you submitted, I think all three. Yeah. Yeah. So you submitted all three. Like, they must get passed if you do with anything wrong. Like, have any of your coaches been like,

nah, that was good, but I couldn't let them down. Yeah. The technique was a little, you should put the foot here. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's, yeah, they're, they're happy. It's a team win, man. But like, when I win, that's all of us. When, you know, someone else from the team wins, team effort. You got some Jersey pride and shit. Hell yeah. You ready to rock and roll? Dude, you got to tell one of the Jersey stories that the world isn't ready for, one of the ones you've been holding back for the people. Let them know what's up. I have no idea. I don't even think that dark anymore. I have a child now. I've erased all those dark memories. Every once in a while,

my body twitches in the middle of the night. I'm like, Oh Lord, please help me. Don't let those memories come back to me at all. They're fucking hysterical. I don't, you know, man, I don't know. I don't know. There's a lot of sad stories. It's just fucking funny story. I don't even know anymore. Who the hell knows, man? I forgot to go on some of these podcasts three weeks ago. Like, that's how bad I was so busy. I forgot. Like, who the fuck knows about dark, deep stories anymore? Jesus Christ. And tonight I'm fucked up. Let me tell you something, that transmission fluid. Did a number? Did a number on you? Yeah, that transmission fluid fucks you up. I can barely think. You really think it's a

transmission fluid? I think it's a chocolate. Oh, the chocolateation to murky waters also. It's like a, it's like a fucking boat. What are we doing in Jersey with the water slide? We always know a friend that takes us on the boat. We water ski. Water ski? Oh. What's that called? People do it down the shore. Come on, guys. Come on, Bill. What the fuck? What is it? Tubing. Not tubing. It's something else. The same port. Wakeboarding? What is it? Wakeboarding? No, it's the skiing. Water skiing. Water skiing. Water skiing. You know, I remember going on the Rogan podcast. We used to go down the shore and before you went over the bridge to Seaside, you dropped cages. Yeah, you dropped cages into the fucking ocean.

And on the way home, you came back and there were crabs in there. And you'd go home and my friends would make an Italian red sauce with the fucking crab. Those are my memories from Jersey, Doug. All that fucking craziness there. What do you eat a lot of in Jersey? Ah, every time. You live in a home? Yeah, I'm clean though. I eat pretty clean. Do you? Yeah. No Chinese? Ah, sometimes. Why, you got a recommendation? Nah, you're down and watching. I don't know nobody down there. Yeah. I don't know nobody. Yeah. How fun. I don't even know how to get to watching. I got some good sushi over there. It's a good sushi spot. There's one good, really good place, Mr. Pies. There's some Japanese have taken over New Jersey. They got good fucking sushi. Oh,

yeah. In New Jersey. What are you laughing about, Lee? I just like the image of Japanese taking over New Jersey. Do you remember in South Park when the Japanese were killing the dolphins? Do you remember? I don't know. You don't watch South Park, but in South Park they were coming in and killing dolphins randomly. So that's just my image of them. But in New Jersey. You could get good sushi in Jersey. I forgot about that. In Fort Lee, New Jersey, I think it's the number one or number two highly Asian population in the country. It was kind of men's in the 80s. It just took off. I don't, you know, got good sushi in Fort Lee, Jack. Yeah. I think I got good food everywhere in New Jersey. That's the, that's the great thing about Jersey

is always a diner. Oh, that's the best. Diner's the best. There's a lot of them too. I had to meet somebody to eat today and I went to, we went to Stout and we had the fries and the burger and the tremendous fucking burger, you know, great fries. But those fries need some fucking gravy on them. They put the mozzarella on them and the skinny fries and they cheese them up pretty good, but then you have a little gravy on to take you back to that little cheeseburger, the lux, 11 o'clock you have before you go home. Those little steak fries, you go home that's like a fucking, ooh, a sleeping pill. You sleep like a baby under that blanket, little cheeseburger, the lux and dog. The other night I saw the longest line ever

for in and out burger I have ever seen in the history that I have lived here even longer than Hollywood. Hollywood line gets some long, I mean guys, some fucking long lines up that street. What do you mean like three or four cars? This was way past the office. This was a block south past the office. That's how long we used to have an old box on Lancashire. It was fucking crazy on Sunday night. I was like, who would wait in that type of line for a cheeseburger? What animal would wait on that type of line? It kind of makes me want to time it, but then I'd have to wait there and time it. And you might as well shoot yourself. You can't wait there unless you bring a cheeseburger with you. Makes fast food slow. There was a line today at the

jack in the box right next to where I live. It was like at lunchtime, like down the street, I was like, what's happening? I never got it for lunch. Yes you did. A couple times, but mostly for dinner. Where should we hit for dinner out here? One. Tonight. You haven't had dinner yet? No, we're going to eat. You're fucked. Fucked? No, you're going to go to sunset and you're going to place named. That's perfect. We're going to commisore anyway. Yeah. If you want to go to the sunset, if you're going to go to sunset, this place is, what time is it? 940. I can't go to the house. Well, Joe, what about sushi Dan? I don't want to just spend 2000 fucking dollars. Okay. For fucking, I don't know any place that they could go to sushi that would just be neutral. So

what I would recommend is that Israeli place on sunset. You're going to need a nice piece of salmon with mashed potatoes, but I don't know the fucking name. Aroma. Aroma. There you go. Bam. And you go right from Aroma to the comedy store. What else is close to the comedy store? The taco place on the corner. What else? Not mad at tacos. Mock Mcdonalds. They've known. The sandwich place by the lab factory. What's that? The Ralphie found ants in the sandwiches. No. I'll steer clear. So your best bet for the bang is that aroma. Nice little piece of salmon. See what's on the menu. Lee, you're reading the menu. Lee, you're getting the menu. Lee has a menu for everything. He's got 10 apps. Lee don't fuck around. No, I don't have the internet.

He's got 10 apps. Plus he's got Yelp control. Plus he's got iSpy network. The only shitty thing is you have to pay to park. There's always a by the way, Lee, just what's the menu? I'm looking. You're on sunset. What do you think is going to happen? You want to fucking park? It's up here too, though. What do you mean it's up here? I had to get a validation to go to Starbucks in Studio City. Okay, here we go. I have no idea what he's talking about. There's a one on like cold water or something somewhere around there that has like, you have to get like a ticket from a machine. Okay, they have a bunch of sandwiches. Do you want to read the sandwiches? What's the location? Let's give the sandwiches. What's the location?

Um, I'll have to go there. Sorry. Sunset in Hollywood. Yeah. Sunset in Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 73, 73 sunset. Yeah, that makes sense. Got comedy stores, 82, 35, 80, 253 or something like that. So this is right before the Guitar Center. If you hit the Guitar Center, you went too far. You valley parking there because the parking is a motherfucking of this clubs. That's goddamn fucking Tuesday night and these savages are out and you parking there, you're going there. There was like three things that were getting there that were fantastic, but they used to give you this bread, like a great bread with

raisins in it. This is when you put olive oil on it. Fucking tremendous. Tastes like grapes. Fucking tremendous. I don't know how it is now. Do I eat now? Because I was caught. No, no, no, no, no, no. You go to toy. You like Thai food, right? Yeah. There you go. Toy. What about what about the Italian place in Hollywood? There's no Italian place there from New Jersey. I'm going to embarrass them. Okay. I'm going to embarrass them and take them to some fucking Italian place there from Jersey. What they have on their corner is better, whatever the shit they're going to get here. What they have on their corner is better than they should here. I wouldn't recommend these two

savages, pizza or sandwiches. He said, I don't need no fucking sandwiches. He got down the block from him with blindfolds on. He'd get the best fucking sandwich that will kill any fucking sandwich. There's a place in Santa Monica. They got the Jersey bread. No, you fucking don't. No, you don't. If I drive to Santa Monica, I ain't that Jersey bread. I'm going to be fucking pissed off. I don't eat that Jersey bread. You two should go to Jersey Mikes. We got that in Jersey too. That's the embarrassment to a guy like me. I can't understand how Jersey Mikes, after like a week, somebody don't go in there and listen, the charade is over. All right, the charade is over. I tolerated it for a week. I thought you'd go away, but there's

a bunch of fucking idiots who have no self-respect for themselves. No self-respect for themselves, okay? No self-respect for themselves. I forget the guy's fucking name and I'll be too late to call my friend. When I lived on 85th Street in Grand, if you walked to the corner and made a little left up the hill, there was a guy in there. He didn't have a full grocery store, but he always had Thulman's bologna, Thulman's ham, and that fucking sliced American cheese that he sliced fresh and shit. He got shot three times one time. He got robbed like $80. The next day, that motherfucker was dead. Tip top conditions, understand? Three bullets. Three bullets, but the funny thing here is he made sandwiches. He sold beer. If you were like eight and you brought

enough from your mother, he'd give you a gallon of vodka. He was one of those dudes. If you came behind my mother said to give you this and give you this $20 bill, he'd give you a gallon of vodka, a cotton, a cigarette, and a book of matches. Tell your mother I love her. He was one of those fucking dudes. Oh, he put it on the tab. I had a tab of them. Brilliant. This guy worked all his life there. Guess what happens? Jersey Mike comes along and opens up down the corner and now these fucking same people who've been buying great cold cuts, great white bread from this guy, go down the corner because they have a foot long, 695 or whatever the fuck. Bro, they have, and I have nothing against these restaurants. I get it. They have a whatever. What's an olive?

Olive Garden on Times Square. What does that tell you? Who would fucking walk in there? It's like when you say the Sabaro in fucking New York, you're like, are you crazy? Why would you go to Sabaro? What type of animal? What type of fucking retard are you? And again, they have all these KKK's and all these things. Why don't like fucking 22 angry white guys shave their heads and just start going to these places. Listen, it was okay for a week again. Olive Garden got to go. We're not having it. No. Listen, first the fucking Italians can make it. Then we'll let a couple of Greeks make Italian food and a couple fucking Mexicans make it. And what's the other ones that are half Italians? Russians? No, they're making it too. No, Albanians. They own half of

New Jersey. Bam, there you go. They own half of New Jersey. Yeah, they will grow a mustache and tell you they're Italian. They don't give a fuck. One of the best Italian restaurants in Jersey is Albanian owned. I forget what the girl's name is. She's a radio DJ or something. There's a real good one. My close cousins are in Harrington Park in Burton County. They got a restaurant right near there. A good Italian place. I couldn't tell you the name though. There's so many. That's what I miss. But when I go home, I know there's, but there's still this place where I grew up named Roma. Oh my God, the best fucking stromboli in the world. And there were a few places that makes a shrimp parmesan. Are you kidding me or what? How convenient to take me there?

Because I took you for Chinese, the important things. You could eat pizza, but it doesn't matter. What's your Chinese dish? What do you get? I would never take you for pizza anywhere, anywhere, ever again, because you'll still come back and go up to that fucking place, revolt, whatever the fucking name of it, and stand online to eat fucking manufactured outside the U.S. dough. That dough comes into the ship from like Bulgaria or something like that. For everyone, he doesn't like pizza, right? Yeah. Pizza what? Pizza, man. One of those places where you go and you can like, it's like the Chipotle of pizzas. Got you. He doesn't like that. It's it. It's not that I don't

like it. It's the same reason why I don't like fucking Olive Garden. I don't like fucking Jersey Mike's. It's the same reason because you're going in there with a half loaded gun and you're cutting into the motherfuckers that are really doing the job. Sure. It's a half loaded gun and he's more than the real deal. No. So these idiots go in there and for $2 left and that's why real people would never come out here and open up a restaurant because here's a guy like your dad was 53 puts away his life savings, but he has a secret pizza recipe. Every time he makes this pizza, people pull their heads out of that. He, he borrows his money. He borrows 10,000 from her, 20,000 from me. He comes out here. He gets a great location. He's making pizzas.

He's making a great living, man, but he's working six days a week though. This don't come easy and every day it's a hundred fucking pies. And all of a sudden he's waiting there smoking a cigarette outside and he sees a family of three eating fucking a box of Domino's pizza. Meanwhile, this guy gets the fucking cheese shipped in from Milwaukee. He gets the nice tomatoes from the communist garden, you know, San Marzano. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's what happens. And all of a sudden you lose faith and go, why would I keep making this quality when they're never going to come over here? Domino's has me with the advertising for the $7.99 plus they get sausage sticks. They get butter fucking out. What else do you get? You get three chicken wings.

Cheesy bread. Cheesy bread, you know, lava cake. So that's the problem. And then there's suckers, then there's people who say, I wouldn't eat that shit if I was on a fucking island. My mom says my grandfather would roll over in his grave if we were in the Olive Garden. It's a very fucking embarrassing thing. Yeah. And that for people, listen, when I go to Pittsburgh, I got to go to the Olive Garden. There's places I go to and I don't eat the pasta. I get the oil, you can eat buns and salad and soup. It's the best bread day. You get that imitation pasta for Zool and the salad. Let me tell you something. The best thing they have is that salad. The oil, you can eat salad if it's crispy. If you go later, the thing sogs and the vinegar and all,

then you have fucking, you have vinegar and all soup. No, no, no. When they first whack that motherfucker up, it's not bad. Trust me, I'm telling you, I've been in some Dirk Merck situations in Pittsburgh and it was right next to the hotel. It was fucking snowing. What do you want me to walk around? I don't live in fucking Pittsburgh. There's a comedy club and there's a fucking, whatever it's called. What are we talking about here? Olive Garden. Thank you, my love. One person is paying attention. Where are you headed, Ali, tonight? I knew we were Olive Garden, but I thought I thought you meant before Olive Garden. You want another star, Lee? Is it time for another star? It's always time for another star. Look at this. We haven't even put a dent in this this weekend.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Lee Sia. Are you ready for a star debt? All right then. The body, the body of Christ compels you. It's like the exorcist, Lee, tell him. The body of Christ compels you. I gotta get a look at these little warlocks. The body of Christ compels you. It's a savage. Savage. Was that one? What? Let's get one more. The body of Christ compels you, Lee Sia. One more. We're going deep. Can we split it? No, split it. What? What is it? What is it? What is it? It's a third grade. Split it. We're going deep into the murky wars. Lee Sia, let me explain something to you. Come on, Lee. We go deep all year long. This is the last four days before the holiday that was starting here for Cuban Jews to take it back to Egypt. This is it. We're

starting a new organization for people who mean business. This is the last four days before Hanukkah. This is how we're going to act. How are you going to talk? What do you want to sing? What are you going to do? Eat another star. Look at this. The body of Christ compels you. You ever see the Godfather? Absolutely. The first one before they baptize and the priest goes like this. Look. One more for the road. Don't like let his skin it's fucking. You got Uber tonight, right? This is going to be interesting. You got money left on the lift card. Fuck it. Leave it for the mouse. But no, he thought one is good for you. That one's got shoestrings up.

Oh, I'm so high. That's over there. I got you, Lee. I got you. Not too fast. Be careful. Don't lick your fingers like that because you're still in competition or something. It's okay. There's something. It's only weed on it. That's on the floor. Oh, my God. Come on. Put that bad boy away. They're going to kick me out as soon as I walk into the casino. It's going to happen again. Why don't you pick me up? Look at my eyes. It's over. That's it. You're swallowing it. You're drinking some water. You're really a buddy, Jack. I can do it. I can do it. One second. You're still got it.

My body went, no, please. Please don't do it. Look at poor Lee Sayed. I want to take a minute and wish you guys a happy holidays and a merry Christmas and thank you for supporting us all year. You guys are some great fucking people and sometimes you just go off the rails here. Look at Lee holding onto his nose drinking his last batch. It's all these bitches. You want to be sad? Be sad on your own time. There's no reason to be sad. Come on. You got family. You got peeps and shit. People get sad this time of the year. You got to do the opposite. Take a deep breath, look for the future, and get ready to get your dick sucked. That's all you can think about. You know what I'm saying?

You're looking straight ahead. Fuck these motherfuckers. How you feeling, Lee? Look at you. And so this is Christmas. Go, Lee. That's it. And what have you done? Now you can say, and what have you done? Tell me what have you done? Oh, Dean, honey. You did. Huh? You did 1,500 milligrams. Tell me what we did. Oh, 400 days before Hanukkah. And that's what you did. 400. All right. So when do you want, when do you expect to fight next? I don't know. May. This is a, they'll suspend you because of the stitches that that 60 day thing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I want to get back out of the keep it. You are? Oh, heck yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. Heck yeah.

He was tough 24. Fuck it. Yeah. Oh, you need to. I guess so better, so quick. Yeah. All you need is a steak and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the stitches heel. Yeah. You're ready to go. G money. It's all over six days a week, Jack. It's true. When you're 24, what do you need? A roast beef sandwich, a little peroxide. You drink some peroxide. You're back. Fuck yeah. Hell yeah. That's a, you're in a good position at a good time. Everything will peak perfectly and you'll be right there to fucking claim Jersey and shit over there with the Miller brothers. Fucking it up. Mm hmm. Yes. Lee, how we doing over there? All right. You're turning redder by the minute. Do you know how to send changes?

You look like you know how to sing. You look like you'd be good at karaoke. Yes. Yes, you're making. Thank you. I don't know how to, what's changes? Changes is a song that Ozzy Oz was saying, why he was a black sap at the 1980 and 19, like the third album, how the fuck knows? And it's called, it's called, I'm going through changes. It's called changes, but the main lyrics is going through changes. One that I'm sitting here, he's eating edibles, like he's 10 over there. I'm talking to a guest like yourself and I'm looking at his face and I could see him like thinking of his life. Like, you're not looking at your face. You get like, oh yeah, I was 10. Like he had that, but he really couldn't talk or he had the microphone up.

And also I looked on my league and also he came out of it. What are you going through changes? Aren't you? Does it get right? So he's over there going through changes right now. I just saw him a few minutes ago. Those last two stars. I'm trying to find. All right. So now you go, you go right back in it. You go back to five a day, six a day. Yeah, I do. I've been training the whole thing. Yeah, I do. I'll do double sessions, five days a week. I used to do six. I used to do, I used to do like six and then just one day off by like two days off. So I'll do Monday to Friday, double sessions, practice in the morning. We eat some food, practice the night. In your position, you want to fight twice a year? Maybe a little more. This time I fought three.

This last time. Yeah, I thought, I probably could have done four because they made me, they gave me a big break between, I fought in, I fought February six and then I didn't fight till September. I wanted to fight that summer. They made me wait for punk. You know what I'm saying? That's a big break. Yeah, I would have liked that. So I think I could do three, four a year. You can move it quickly. Yeah. You can move it quickly, especially the way you're training and whatnot. You look great. Yeah. I mean, like I said, I knew you were fighting, but I didn't see the countdown to the following morning. And I'm like, this fucking kid is the real fucking deal. Thanks man.

You went in there and were you an underdog or you were a favorite? I think it was, it's pretty even. Was it really? Yeah. I think by the time we fought, I think I was like a minus 140 and he was like a plus 120. Plus 100, something like even, you know, yeah. Okay. So not much, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty pick them, pick them fight. Unbelievable. How you fucking finished them? Yeah, I did that big, I could do that and I could do that to anyone in the world. Drop them with a big shot, choke them out.

Once you hit them with that big shot, what is it about the shot that you know that you have six seconds to put the cobra hooks of death into them? Right as I hit him, he went right down his butt, sat him right down, and then he like took, he like, I could tell he was like on queer street because he took that little dive at me. So I threw like an uppercut, he started to protect his neck, spun to the back and he, that whole time he was, he wasn't firing, he wasn't moving right. He was, he was fucked up from the shot. Yeah, you, that's, that's the, that you just fucking spawned on them like a, like a fucking

lights out in Georgia and I was like, oh my God, this is pretty goddamn amazing. I can't even think of making them move like that. What's up, buddy? It was a good fight and I, I just, I don't remember the guy's name, but the Cubs Swanson fight, his opponent called him out and he Cubs Swanson ended up winning. Have you ever thought like, is it a lot of pressure to win when you call someone out or is it not really? Yeah, but it's just pressure anyway. You know what I mean? Like, anyway, like when you're in the back, you're nervous as heck, whether it's, you know, you called them out and talked, talked a bunch of shit or, you know what I mean? You

don't want to get beat up in front of all your people anyway. Right. Well, yeah. Well, you never want to lose. Nah, heck no, no, no. Listen, if you look at the UFC's history, the last three years in the grove, you got to talk a little bit. Yeah, you got to be like, not just an athlete, but an entertainer. Yeah, you got to talk a little bit. I mean, you can't fucking die your hair and let your feet on fire and go in there because now you put more attention to the entertainment than you are to fight. But this, uh, a light walk, there's a, it's, it's funny. In the old days, whenever I saw a fighter going with dyed hair, I would go, fuck, I should have been on the other guy and showing up. The guy with the dye there would lose because they focused on the red thing

about your hair. What the fuck guy? You're supposed to be thinking about the goddamn fight, little things like that. And maybe I was wrong a few times, but for the most part, and he got that walked in there with pink hair or a show, three guys bowing in front of them over and quick too, quick, like, and you're like, holy shit, he focused more on the entrance than the whole fight. I used to think that in, uh, I wrestled my senior year and when people would see the guy wrestlers with the tattoos, they'd be like, oh, I bet he's good. I don't know, that means he was sitting in a tattoo chair when I was out here lifting or throwing someone around. You know what I mean? It's really fucked up the influence of the tattoo the last 20 years. Yeah.

Like up to the time I went out of prison, the only way you had a tattoo was if you were in prison or you were a fucking, uh, uh, they captured you in Cuba or the Chinese dudes or the Japanese Yakuza and shit. And all of a sudden it just went AWOL. Everybody got tattoos. They're everywhere. It is, you could not predict this 30 years ago. People gonna be having tattoos. People go get the fuck out of here because there was such a, not a taboo against it, but yes, there was a stigma about it. You met my mom, Joey. My mom hates tattoos. Listen to me. I went with a friend of mine. We talked, we got all coked up the night before we were 16 and I was going to put cocoa on my knuckles like Ozzy Osbourne put Ozzy and we walked all the way up there and something was like

something I'm gonna want to get a fucking job, man. And that's not, they're gonna look at my hands and I go, you know what? I already got enough fucking shit against me at this age. The last thing I need is to put my fucking knuckle up my hands and you know what? I would have fainted anyway. I can't see needles. So in a way I'm kind of happy that I got a buddy like that. What's that? They can't see the needles. Passes out. Yeah. I could never be, I don't care how good of a fighter I was. I could never, ever be in the UFC, play any professional sports, anything. Cause I could, I don't know how I'm going to react at certain situations. I don't know how I'm going to react at certain situations. I might see you get your head punched

off and I might just walk away. I might see you get hit and your coach wipe your eye and then throw the towel down and a live thing and I'll look at the amount of blood on the towel and I'll have a nervous breakdown. Do you follow me? So I don't like that shit no more. I fucked with, I fainted at one live UFC and I fainted one time at home watching a live UFC event. The fight I fainted at, it was one of those La Palme fights. La Palme? La Palme and I was there with Ralphie Mack. All right. Ralphie Mack was performing in Vegas. I asked Joe for a ticket. He's sitting there. It's me, Ralphie, some chick with big fake tits next to a doctor. Thank God. Same thing happened. It was a fight. They fought. The one guy opened the other guy up. I watched the whole

thing go down. I heard the skin break. I heard the whole fucking thing go down. You know, I heard them, the announcers kind of saying, he's cut. He's cut. Whatever the fuck. And also I saw him get up and I saw the coach when as soon as he got up, the doctor comes over to you and puts his stitch, whoever puts the thing over your eye and when he got to the corner, he sat down. He threw that down and my mind went down with the towel and I saw there was no towel. It was just all blood and also next thing you know, they're waking me up. They give me water and shit. What about when they have like, when they're covering up the cut and then they open it up and then it like squirts a little bit? Have you seen that happen? From time to time, but I don't really focus on it. Once I

see a towel all of a sudden, I go for a fucking soda or fucking water or something. You understand me? I don't sit there and wait and watch the blood squirt out of his fucking head and I see it. Sometimes they get punched and you see the blood. I don't bother to watch the replay. I saw it. I saw it squirt out. You see a mouthpiece fly out, things like that. I don't want to see the fucking guy squirt. Sometimes I watch it and guess what? He's bleeding to death and nothing happens. So that's why I don't like watching that shit because I don't know how I'm going to react. Why don't you think about that then? What do you think that, Lisa? You don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. What are you going to do after you leave here? You're going to go home

and get some rest. I want to give a happy holiday shout out to all the motherfucking people who listen to this podcast. Like I said, I know there's a heavy time of the year. You know what? I love you and everything like that, but snap out of it, cocksuckers. 2017's coming. It's over. I want to give a big shout out to my man, Matt Homeyre and Lorne Rosencour and Darcy J Watt and Oz Warrior and Ali Baez and Carmen Colasimo and Johnny Utah and Tal Jaffee Brookie and fucking Uki Spooky Damanuki and you know, all the motherfuckers, my people in Austin, you know, I love you, cocksuckers at all my heart, man. Thank you for listening every week and shit like that. And that's it, man. What was your next plan of attack? Do you need me? You're just going to keep

fighting. I don't want to fucking keep fighting. No films, no nothing. You're gonna have time for that shit. Keep fighting. That's what I like to do. And just tell them motherfuckers, you know what? I'll tell you what I will do. Say listen, give me 20 mil to hold me. I'm 24 and I'm 28. I'll be worth double that and I'll give you three films, but they all got to be Charles Bronson remakes. I'm gonna choose them. Boom, bitches. And I choose them. Boom. And we got to remake them. Uncle Joey picks them. Like Charles Bronson would do it to his extent at that next level. How would he do death wish now with what's going on in New York? You know what I'm saying? Well, he just buy sticks at dynamite and promo at motherfucking life.

Surprise. And just blow motherfuckers up. If we're going to start remaking something, let's remake it even better, you know, but let's keep it how these motherfuckers would do it. They're going to remake everything. They're going to remake the honeymoon. You do know that, right? They rebooted the honeymoon is on CBS. To a guy like me, that would be a complete slap in the face, man. Unless I play fucking Ralph Cranon. If I play Ralph Cranon, then we can get this party started the right way. But he always says he's going to send it to the moon. He can't say those things. He can't say a lot of things that he would say. That's true. He can't say no bang zoom one day Alice. He can't threaten her. All those he can't call Norton stupid.

None of that stuff. There was never any, but they were seen. There was brilliant episodes of the honeymoon is, see the honeymoon is at the end of, at the end of Saturday Night Live. It's a great show and all, but count how many fucking writers they have. When you watch the honeymoon is it's two writers and Jackie Gleason. You grew up on the honeymoon. You, I've seen it, but no, I grew up on it. You grew up on it. See what kind of generation this one fucking talking about and they're on WPX. Yeah. Constantly and shit. Listen before you get into any other comic, watch like Christmas day and watch Jackie Gleason. God damn that's a good episode. Yeah. They got my grandma's got the tapes. It's a marathon.

It's a marathon in Jersey all day on Wednesday on Saturday. That's what you do Christmas day. You to go for a walk, you get tuned up, you come back, you spray binocca or fucking mouthwash and shit. You put vizena in your eyeballs. Where'd you go? I was worried about you. Had to go for a walk. There was burglars in the neighborhood. A couple of humans and Puerto Ricans and shit. They were driving. They were playing that La Bamba music and all something like, let me cook for you. You sit down and there's the honeymoon is you take your shoes off. They make your hot cocoa and you don't go nowhere. If you're really fucking lucky on Christmas day, you got much of the wooden soldiers with fucking which they play, but

see people wouldn't watch that shit tonight. You guys wouldn't even think of watching that shit today. That's history right there. Well, it gives a Frenchman's fuck league. What do you got planned for Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve. Well, that's the big one for Paula's mom. So what's she doing? What's she making? Are you going to go this year? No, I think it is. Is it Christmas tamales? I don't know what it is. I'm pretty sure it's tamales. So Christmas Eve, you going over there? Oh, yeah. And where are you going Christmas day? No plans as right now. You said tamales on Christmas? On Christmas Eve. Yeah, girl Mexican. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm into people are gonna get mad.

I like tamales. My favorite are the sweet ones though. I'm not like the the the masa thing is real heavy for me. I like it though. How do you try to eat 18 plates of tamales? Who eats 18 fucking plates of mom doesn't stop. You look at you look at two tamales. You go let me get red one pork and let me get a green one little spicy. You pull them in. You put a little sauce on that motherfucker, a little bit of cheese to dilute the fucking spiciness and you eat them like a soldier and you say they're very good and you walk away. Yeah, you do that. But then her mom serves them with rice and then her mom comes by and gives you more. What type of rice? Yellow, red Mexican rice. Of course. So you eat it, Lee. What the fuck? I do. You go back home,

you do some kettlebells on the balcony and you balance it out. You know what I'm saying? Why are you playing games with me for? You know how it's done? It's you that you go bananas. I know. And I would go bananas too, but you can't. You got to control yourself. You're a savage. You're a student of the game. You eat blue apron. I know I am. Are you gonna be eating blue apron and then go over there and eat 18 tamales? I can eat 18 tamales at my point. What type of loyalty are we talking about? My buddy Larry got at me a hotel where they have cheeseburgers for $2.99. I might just move there. I know. And I know he already yelped it and everything. Other cheeseburgers made a goat or fucking Armenian meat that was killed in Glendale and

fucking mafia meat dipped in whatever. What do you go as my main little brother? Champ. Champ. Be champ. Keep winning. Make some money. One step at a time, my friend. You got all the fucking utensils. You got sidekicks for Jesus. Yes, sir. I'm gonna go Joe. He'll be talking about you. Thank you. When I go to Jersey, I'll be dropping your name. What, bitch? I don't know. So you're moving to Lightweight? Yeah. Yeah. I'm dropping down a little bit. Two Jersey guys in the Lightweight division. So what are you weighing now? So I can make 170 pretty easy, but when I walk around, I'm at like 190. But if I diet and stay on my fight camp diet, just a little longer, just drop the water. I'd be a champ. You want to go down to 155?

Yeah, think about it. No shit. Think about it, yeah. Think about it. Jim Miller told me I should. My buddy Billy D told me I should. And I think I could, you know, I'll eventually be the champ at 72, 70 as well. But I think I could be a champ at 55 in like a couple years. Year two. Because I'll be huge for that. So for you to fight at 155 to be honest, it's not fucking, you need to walk around at 170. I know. That's the good thing. That's easiest said than done when you live in New Jersey though. Yes, right. I got to be like discipline. Like I got to have a crappy month. I'm not going to enjoy food. But then after like now, like I'm in that spot where I could eat, you know, what do you weigh now? Right now, I'm probably,

I'm probably about like 90 right now. So once you go into camp, what do you eat? I just switch it up. I go clean, clean. I only do like carbs. I got to do rice only like before and after workouts. Like if I like, and if I go to 55, I'll have to, I'll do that. And I'll just portion. I'm just like, I'm a God bone. Like I'll crush. I'll eat a lot when I eat, you know, so I just got to put it like, I'll overdo it. If I control like my portions and whatnot, I could be all right. Oh, it's so weird. Like when you're in high school, when you get out those colleges, you're still working out with that high school intensity. You could fucking eat, Doug. You could eat, you know, I used to eat a box of cereal, like nothing. It's crushing. Like nothing.

Box of cereal, two eggs, bread, bacon and walk around like nothing, no fart and no shit. And after we're like, I can still put away another eight ounces or whatever. You know what I'm saying? We're kept it low just in case I bump into something. Just in case I go out of the Mickey's house and then mom's got a cheese on it with potatoes or something. And she invites me in. I can't deny it. I'm not gonna disrespect her and shit like that. Doug, I wish you all the fucking luck in the world. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. It's cool to be on here talking to a big fan. Yeah, it was cool to have you on and stuff. Garnett, I want to thank Garnett for putting that together. He's a good fucking man. Let me just do two things here and you get out of here,

go eat, go jump up and down, do what you do. Let's be honest. Most of your problems start with the mind, right? Fear, anger, stress, anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, they begin in your head, but they can wreck your life. But it doesn't have to be that way. You can make a major difference in 10 minutes a day. Headspace is meditation made simple. It's guided meditations you listen to whenever you want, wherever you want, right on your phone, computer or tablet. It's rooted in thousands of years of tradition with thousands of specific studies that show its positive effects, like improving focus, relationship and harmony. Join over 4 million users already getting Headspace for free right now. Download the free Headspace app and begin the take 10 program for 10 days

of guided meditation at headspace.com slash joey. Again, the Headspace takes 10 program is 100% free way to experience the benefits of meditation in your busy modern life. Train your mind for a healthy and less stressed life. Start your free trial today at headspace.com slash joey. That's headspace.com slash joey. I want to give a shout out to these fucking savages because I love them with all my heart. Again, the bidet is back bitches. I don't know if your people know it. You're ready to get the dream gift. A bidet is back. Do you even know what a bidet does? No, you don't. You strap it on to your toilet. It's portable. You don't even need a plumber. You're doing nothing. You strap it on. You tap some fucking screws. And next thing you know,

next time you walk 10 miles. Next time you take a big dump. You know, sometimes you take a dump and even if you wipe your muffler, you leave that room and you're like, you know what something ain't right. Even though I took a shower 20 minutes ago, you ever take a nice shower? You put your clothes on or something. You got to take a shit and you're like, what I take a shower for? God might as well start your day. Yeah. Now you walk around and you're self conscious. You got rotten ass. No more. And now you can hit it again in 20 minutes because sometimes you wipe your ass, but mysteriously you go for a walk or something or a long job. And also you get rotten ass all over again. Those days are done before you even leave the house. You hit that little fucking

muffler with some water and bam, no fucking germs, no swamp ass, no nothing. Tell them Lee, break it down for them. I like it. I start my day with it. I shower after I work out, but when I wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes I turn the heat on because in the morning it gets fucking cold. But then I get all cuddly in the bed and I got sweaty and that's not nice. So before I go to the gym, I always, it's great. I start every day with it. And you know what? It's fresh water and it cleans your muffler. You know what I'm saying? Because sometimes you're sitting there overnight. You get that rotten and you're going to Starbucks and you try to order coffee. There's a girl, funny attractive woman and she's with some fucking Johnny Harvey. And he,

you know, he gave her a stab in the night before, but she spent the night, but she didn't take a shower. How do you know? Cause she's got that retinas behind her head and you're sitting there going, this chick didn't even wash that monkey this morning. No more. You can go listen, honey, I gave you a stab in last night. Wash that fucking rotten condom smell out of your muffler with my fucking. You don't got to walk around with that dead fucking condom, skunking your little monkey. What I'm trying to say is go to hello tushy.com right now. Flash church, bitch. Get 10% off your order. You need this for the stuck in stuff is the stuff is whatever the stuff and stuff. Oh my God. It's a beautiful night to be alive. Listen, this is the gift you've been looking for.

Everybody wants to know, you know what? I worked hard all year with all I get myself. I need another TV for the bedroom. That's going to disrupt my sleep. I need a new car like I need to commit suicide. You know what? I'm going to buy a new car to pay 1800 a year insurance and to get tickets out of buck 20 your fucking bang. Fuck you. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get myself a bidet. I'm going to fucking take a shit from now on and just sit there with hot water sprinkling my ass. I'm going to turn the lights off. I'm going to put my feet up. I'm going to see if I order some Chinese woman for 22 an hour. I can pedicure my feet with hot water hitting my ass. So that's a fucking goal you want to achieve in 2017. And I'm giving it to you tonight. Hello

to she.com slash church 10% off one more time headspace and my main mother fuckers over it on it. Throw in heat, go over there for the supplements. I'm telling you, you're getting into jiu-jitsu. Get that shroom tech sport and fucking take two of those. Take them before my fights. Yeah. Take them all the time. Love on you. You jumping up and down. Everything's beautiful. All right. Go to on it and slash in church and get 10% off the liberty house. Who's better than your uncle Joe. Fuck suck is nobody. I just got your shroom tech and I'm like your ass whole washed like that. I don't even know what the fuck I'm trying to put together. Yo, Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart to all of you motherfuckers. The Lingus is

it's just too much. Bob Lingus. What are you laughing about? I love it. The Chicago mafia, 10th planet fucking dead squad. Fucking my man, Mickey Gold family and his sisters, you guys, you bad motherfuckers. Thank you for coming on, for you listening, for you listening to the stories, for you listening to our racist and disgusting remarks and not reporting this to the IRS for many reasons. You understand me? We love you, man. All right. I can cut this out if I'm not supposed to say it. Is your Ari show coming up soon? And this is the last show. Tomorrow night. That's right. Look at Lee Syat. Look, look at Lee Syat, the assistant to the assistant, to the assistant, to the assistant, to the assistant show director.

Okay. For that and the last show and one of the last shows of the year, maybe turn on your VCRs right now when you download this, it's Wednesday. Do me a favor. I'm on. This is not happening, but go ahead. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry to interrupt you, my brother. No, I was just saying, can I get one of the assistants cut off for that assist? Okay. The assistant to the assistant to the assistant to the assistant. How's that? Make a new business cards. Just put Scott's case. And I want to thank you for coming on. Thank you. You made a fan, the believer out of me. And you did in a weird way because I watched that footage. Next thing you know, you're fighting them, and I didn't understand if you had fought and I missed it. I'm like, well, how the fuck did the

winter fucking vibe bend? Do I smoke that much marijuana? And then after what I realized, then you were fighting again. I'm like, look at him. This motherfucker was going for people's home for it. Oh, shit. Little by little, like a Jersey motherfucker like Sinatra, fresh and hobo, another 19th street. He said, fuck, I ain't letting these people hold me down. What the fuck am I talking about? I'm not doing edibles no more show. You understand me? Merry Christmas. And we'll be back next week. We are doing a podcast next week. It's a surprise fucking podcast for you, motherfucker. I love you guys. Have a great weekend. Have a great time for your families. Thank you for supporting us. Play something. Make something up. Okay.

It took you too long. You slip and say, well, yeah. Better now you know we'll never wait till tomorrow Night's out, life's out in London More tight to the end God knows when I'm coming on my own If I help those who help themselves That's the way it goes

Right in the thoughts of what's been taught And now it shows Night's out, life's out in London More tight to the end Better now you know we'll never wait till tomorrow Night's out, life's out in London More tight to the end God knows when I'm coming on my own

Night's out, life's out in London More tight to the end Better now you know we'll never wait till tomorrow Night's out, life's out in London More tight to the end God knows when I'm coming on my own You can't count it, there's no running Count a thousand times

Under your feet, the grass is growing Time has said goodbye Night's out, life's out in London More tight to the end Better now you know we'll never wait till tomorrow Night's out, life's out in London More tight to the end God knows when I'm coming on my own

Night's out, life's out in London Night's out, life's out in London More tight to the end