Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #455 - Jorge Masvidal

Episode Date: February 13, 2017

Jorge Masvidal, a UFC fighter, with a professional record of 32-11, including 15 wins by submission or TKO, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: DSTLD -��Get 10% off of your first pair of DSTLD's premium jeans that start at just $75 instead of hundreds at DSTLD.com/joey Zeel - Get the best massage of your life, in your home. Get $25 off of your first massage when you go to Zeel.com/church or use promo code church on the zeel app.  Indochino - Go to Indochino.com and use code "church" at checkout to get any premium suit for only $389 (thats 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit) and shipping is free.     Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 02/12/2017.  

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shit it's gonna be a good motherfucking day monday february 13th i think who gives a fuck it's a beautiful day to be alive the church of what's happening now now lisa yad my main man whole head mas de val and your uncle joey deers cocksuckers every day you dirty bitch hey

i want your love i need your love what's happening you bad motherfuckers uncle joey here my main man george mas de val and my little jewish brother lisa yad what's happening gentlemen how's it going sir it was a great weekend great little fucking weekend a little calmly uh when i do i hang out with the family it's nice i had a couple weeks on the road and the one week i shot a pilot that whole week i was working i didn't see him till sunday and then i had to go to nashville so this is really like and you know how it's like bro you know it's like you get caught up sometimes then you say i'm gonna go home next week then they contact you for promotional week somewhere and now you're on the road four

weeks for some guys they're like fuck i don't have to deal with my shit but there's some dudes that truly i like being at home bro you know 20 years ago i didn't like being at home there was no home you know i'm sorry i couldn't wait till i got the fuck out now i got something to be appreciative of at the house so you want to go home and spend time with your family i like you were telling me you were gone for a month before the cowboy found for a month i would die yeah it sucked so long as i've been i believe you know i was thinking of going to new york uh before nyak and going to a nick game then they lost to the lakers at home there's no reason if the lakers beat you at home on a tuesday night i can't watch it so once that happened i just made an excuse for myself

said fucking i have to go to new york for a week now i'll just fly in wednesday and fucking do my show thursday friday saturday i can't do it no more george i can't do it no more though i used to leave here in november and come back in april and the whole time i'd be doing weekends everywhere all over the country from toronto to buffalo to miami for two weeks that's what breaks me down i hate travel i could go to one place stay in one place but the bounce around like that like two days here two days here two days here that shit sucks that's the worst through it like a tour at me and it was like three weeks of four days in a row like for three weeks and it's thursday friday saturday sunday and you've got to travel all fucking four days i can't do it no more dog

i could travel get to my destination the other thing is i'm lazy i don't want to take apart my sleep apnea machine that's a pain to fucking ask dog once that sleep apnea machine comes out of the bag that's where it fucking stays i don't want to fuck around and you know pack it up again and take it out the next day but enough for this bullshit you can just get two of them get one for the road yeah but even if you have one for the road you still gotta break it down every day that's my point i have two of them i can leave one there's one in the house oh my god on the road but you still gotta dismantle it put it in the bag and that shit burns me the fuck up so let's get back to basics here the last time we came on the show i had kind of an accident that night i ate one too

many fucking stars you know and uh and we went a little off course here which i don't sometimes it's fun but you know i had a blast i don't know i know we had a blast that night we giggled our asses off but the whole thing was i had things i wanted to ask you and how you had come up with these things and stuff most important fucking thing i want to ask you is a to z what made you raise your hand against cowboy and i said it on your show you remember what a to z i said it on your show so people know they're gonna call me a prophet if you tuned in to the last time i was here i said just what i was gonna do in the show and that's break his will and then break his face and it sounds nasty so that i'm still talking like that but it's the truth when it comes to fighting

i like to fight and i'm gonna tell you what i'm gonna do so there's no coincidence about it i'm gonna kick your ass on this certain date and i'm gonna tell you how i'm gonna do it now this was your what number fight 40 more than the octagon uh i don't know the number 31 what's your record now 32 and 11 okay 32 11 that's fucking that's 43 goddamn fights not to mention the 82 thousand you had from five to fucking 14 yes i was watching some of those tapes last time you're good jesus christ it's like okay you had a bar somebody drops a drink on your shirt you got a bit slapping you throw two punches you go outside you fight for a minute the cops come it's over you had a walk to this kid's house you walked through the door like batman you opened up the

wooden gate and shit you're you almost hit the chicken there was a chicken in the yard and shit i mean what the fuck now i watched that show the one that uh your boy did the other director remember he did his fourth movie is about fighting the guy that did uh miami the fucking billy carman billy one of his movies was about fighting in the black neighborhood where they rope it up and shit dog fight dog fight i watched that and it was interesting but you're fucking youtube shit it's like you're there it's like you don't even need three d glasses you can hear the punches and shit people talk in spanish what were you thinking it's a fight that's what i was thinking were you getting paid for those i was betting we were betting you know uh people were betting there too as well

playing their best was going on and they saw it's a way to make legal income so no no tackling people just pop a pop a knee and once they go down you can't uh arm bar yeah once we got there we we agreed no ground about nothing so i get there and and i'm warming up for him and to tell me hey you can relax he's gonna fight somebody else before you i didn't understand why he would do that but i was like he could do whatever he wants okay so he fought some dude he knocked him out like in 30 seconds a minute i forget the exact time and i come out as soon as i'm coming out everybody was just screaming then i was gonna get knocked out you know very similar not to the cowboy fight everybody was yelling you're gonna get killed look at this skinny little guy he's gonna get murdered

and uh i proved him wrong then you know so i like i like the hostile territory it's crazy because i thought about you before you came on the show the last time and yeah when i was a kid i got the situations i got hit with a lunch box but it was all why you were playing and then like i remember i used to live on 205 west 88 street if you ever go to new york it's a nice apartment building that's why i grew up when i came from cuba that was the second place we lived but i got into a fight with rudy the Haitian rudy the Haitian lived downstairs rudy the Haitian sell the land rudy the Haitian and me were good friends that every once in a while we just beat the fuck out of each other

but my mother can handle it rudy's father couldn't handle it and i would tell him mr rudy would play you know basketball and he called me a fucking spank and i called him rudy the Haitian and all of a sudden we started smacking each other and shit the next thing you know one time his father took me and held my arms and he told rudy to hit him and rudy's like no dad and he's like hit him rudy i'm not gonna fucking throw you out so rudy smacked me and he cracked my lip and then rudy's father asked me where i lived and i said 3a and he run he had me by the neck and he knocked on the door and my mother answered and the kitchen was right behind the door and the guy goes if your son ever touches my son again i'm gonna come up here and beat him up then i'm

gonna beat you up and my mom goes wait one second and she turned around and she took the biggest knife out of the rack bro and she chased him up the fucking steps and then the lady in the cops came and the lady next door came out and she said she didn't see a knife so the cops didn't arrest my mother so fucking uh the kid didn't see a knife he the only rudy's father but that mother fucking dad ran up those stairs bro my mother was on him with lawa takasa on my mother wasn't even dressed really she was just fucking uh it was like early in the morning that poor dude had no idea whose door no idea it was my mother no do it no don't even know not an islam's door well i mean uh ices door ices door yeah he had door don't not gonna keep him up fucking crazy so beside that there

was only one time in my life where i knew i was gonna fight somebody like at two o'clock we decided at 3 30 he came over and he beat the fuck out of me it was terrible i couldn't handle it my head almost blew up thinking about that i had to fight somebody in an hour that's why i admire you guys because but then i've had fighters say to me dog how do you public speak it's fucking terrible i can't do it i have a nervous breakdown so it's kind of the same walking on thin line for some people you know i'm saying yeah for sure but you did great man you you know it's really nice to see so i thought that dana had made a statement about cowboy about two years ago maybe 18 months ago he says that he he's great with cowboy but doesn't know what cowboy's gonna show up i don't

know who he fought that he just looked you know he was flat cowboy's a great fighter who was an rda that he just looked really flat that that's what dana made the comment you know something into myself look at fucking uh george's got him down he knew he won a couple fights in a row he's bound to lose it's a fight at home we all know how tough it is to do anything at fucking home that's why i don't perform in bananas that's why i don't do that shit i always perform in new york city where it's a hike for them or new brunswick where it's a fucking hike for them but the to do something in my own backyard i'll never do it i did it one time it was the biggest mistake of my life i can't focus man i can't do crazy material because that's the girl i was in the sixth

grade when we saw girls got cookies i can't tell when i smoked crack and i was eating some fucking black chicks asshole so i fall apart at the seams so trust me there's more there's more stories to this shit i just eliminate the performing at home that's it i eliminated in my backyard no backyard appearances what happened papa no backyard appearances no bro no bro because it hurts too much on stage i did it once in new york about five years ago i played that thing bro i bombed i ate a box of dick on stage because i had kids in there from the sixth grade i didn't really want them and i was a different kid in the sixth grade i was catholic i didn't smoke pot i wore tom mccain shoes you know what i'm saying i played whiffle ball i read comic books

now they come to see me i'm talking about eating eight balls and fucking stabbing people in pedophiles kind of embarrassing you know what i'm saying i mean have you thought about fighting in miami did we do the half fights in miami they're having a long time up they they didn't do so well i think in the past so they haven't been i think too inclined to come back i would prefer not to fight miami because everybody that you went to school with the the lunch lady that hated you she's calling you for tickets it's crazy you know right yeah i'm maybe when the man show was on whatever year the man show was on 2004 2003 i had to do a sketch for the man show but they wanted to shoot in miami so while we were in miami that's why they set up that way so joker do the ufc it

was fucking empty but this was a whole different ufc this was the guy from hawaii the fatter guy i think the only guy in the stadium was shack like shack was like he had like six rows to himself and shit that's how fucking dead it was but what you do man is tough for a fucking living how old are you now jordan 32 so you're you're a young man you're in your fucking prime you got another fucking 10 years left if you want to bang it out but realistically like four or five you know what i'm saying i got a good five in miami five in i think god for the reflexes i haven't been in too many wars so i think i got the best five years of my career now you know i've been dropped it's not like i haven't been dropped but i've never been dropped in a fight twice or taking sustained

punishment you know that i got beat up round after round you haven't been knocked out in something like nine years like knocked out or submitted it's crazy you've lost some decisions but i was looking at it it was i don't remember right now but it was something crazy like 2009 2005 it was something weird like that it was a while ago yeah you improve whatever you fight joint you feel yourself improvement you push yourself it's it's not just whatever you fight it's with the opponent you know it's like sometimes you're fighting certain dudes or weak sauce dudes and you're like man this is not where i should be you know i kind of rise to the challenge if i'm fighting a certain somebody and i know this guy's good at certain something i'ma turn it against him you know

i'm a cardio the cardio guy i'm a wrestler the good wrestler because that's what i am in my mind i like to beat guys in their own craft i knew i was going to beat cowboy standing with his own great weapons that he that he uses to kick i was able to use that kick against him because that's what i like to do in fights you know so it just depends on the opponent a lot of times it's so wild how you have to push yourself in this life and because i don't get excited either anymore it's doing some stuff like when i went up to lee i figured it out why i had so much anxiety that night in wilbur you know because of those reasons you want to rise to the occasion so my adrenaline just gets me all fired to fuck up and once i say two minutes of material i'm normal you know my

adrenaline gets so fired up like so fucking wound up and fighting i think you gotta get like for me i always had to get punched in the face one time once you get punched in the face you you got something now you know you gotta punch from him you ain't gonna go down now i know where i am that was always my thing you always gotta get hit once or twice and knocks you back into fucking real vil and you're like okay now i know i am let me breathe a little bit get some blood pumping i i normally don't like it to ask about current fights because we've got people but this was kind of a big fight what have you ever had a fight similar to like derrick brunson anderson selva where like you were just so in shock of seeing that personally like it just seemed

like like derrick brunson just couldn't believe for a few minutes that he was in the ring with anderson's like have you had a situation similar to that the yeah the closest thing to it was when i fought eve's at words i was very young in my career and i looked up to eve's i had seen a lot of his fights he had a dvd going out of him knocking people's teeth out it was crazy i forgot the name of that dvd but uh he fought against every rightly twice in it and um i had seen a couple of his fights already and i knew who it was so when i fought him i was i was a little star struck how does it feel the first round's weird you don't really want to hit him hard no no no i was trying to kill him since the start okay see i was trying to kill him since the start i would

fucking fold dog mentally i would fold i'm that type of dude that i might think you're a stud and all but i'm still gonna try to take your head off you know i knew eve's was a beast and i knew i couldn't respect him i that's the type of guy you you have to not give him anything because he's a killer man he was like one of the most skilled fighters i think i've fought and still to this day you know who's the hardest punching on your fights that has rattled you because it's not even about the hardest punch it's where they get you with that punch yeah it because i've fought in some hard punches and never got a hit off of me and then i fought in wrestlers that weren't known for hitting hard and and they got good shots in on me um michael chaser rolled my bell pretty good

you know you dropped me pretty good in the first round it was boom and a lot of times it's like a light switch and you're able to get right back on sometimes it takes a little longer to turn the light switch on you know and with that one i kind of felt it was a good shot you know you just breathe through it you just keep moving man no matter what happens you take it like a d it's like doing a sprint you're prepared to do a really long sprint you go and just go whatever you got to do because if a guy hits you again maybe you go to sleep you know so you got to start wrestling even harder or throwing more punches you got to do something to get that guy to stop whatever he's doing you know that's like the sprint right there the ill sprint like the cops are chasing you for 10 block sprint

you know what a punch that hard is to a comedian like saying 10 jokes and nobody even fucking does nothing that's what shock you go into like if i would do five minutes you know 10 years ago maybe 12 years ago if i would do five minutes and i wasn't getting no laughs it's like getting the punch to the head because you got to breathe heavy up there and fucking realize digging deep and see where this is next joke's gonna come on you gotta set a pattern now and slow down it's so weird the importance of slowing down like just going okay where the fuck am i at fuck these motherfuckers i put my hands in my pocket breathe a few times and get this body started all over and i see it all the time with fighters they're the kings of that shit man you gotta be able to hit the reset

button you gotta you gotta say because when i'm fighting it's a voice in spanish always talking to me in my own head and then i could just fucking overdrive you know you get hit and you get hurt and you like you hear that voice like what the fuck fuck this guy i'm gonna fuck him up you know in spanish i hear that and then i just go bro you know i feel that now man it's so weird when you watch a fighter for a few years or a football player or a boxer and you see how all the pieces fall together that's always great to look at a fighter's career or a musician and see when all the pieces are falling together that's like what's going on with you right now there's a lot going on thank you there's a lot going on there's ads going on you created a

fucking storm with this shit and it's always great to see what it takes you know i'm saying to create that storm you know if you call somebody out you gotta deliver the goods you gotta deliver the goods you gotta deliver the goods you know uh and and can can you explain because to me when i hear calling out at first you might think that you think the other person's a bad fighter like you think you're gonna beat them but it's not that seroni is a bad like he's not a bad fighter he's he's a he has some good skills like or or do you not even think do you just think they're like what do you think because like to me i would want to acknowledge how good the other person is because i don't want them to be like oh well he just beat seroni it's not just seroni

like well um from what i heard from like several media sources and uh i think i don't remember if it was joe rogan or somebody said that the best cowboy they had seen was cowboy right now at 170 pounds he was knocking people out and he was taking people down and he was riding them out i knew that that fight for me would be easy and i knew he had a high ranking number you know that's why i say easy not just because the fight will be easy but this journey is is easy money the easy money campaign but i knew that that fight was gonna be extra easy man yeah what is easy money campaign i see i keep seeing you tagging them i can't the game joey knows this better than me is to be sold not told so i can't i can't give it out like that when we turn the

cameras off i can tell joey in person but i can't tell everybody it's crazy how strategic you have to be in this business especially you have seen it you know like i've said a thousand times the longevity of running back is three fucking years you know we saw barry sanders and we saw the dude from dalis but in reality those guys come and fucking go we just don't say it some of them get drafted how i go three years you know in the ufc you have a window and the formula is three fights you know you win all three of those first three fights and then you start calling out motherfuckers and you just keep climbing little by little you know you look at the guy you don't go from number 19 to number one and call that dude out you look at number 13 now you want to be number 13 for a

few months and then it's so strategic you know i'm saying then the two champions are going to fight and somebody breaks their hand and there you are with a big dick in a fucking bucket full of yum-yums they call you and there you are it was that fucking easy the journey you know you never know oh for sure you never know but you just got to keep plugging the fuck away oh yeah there's some draining non-stop you know the ufc is kind of interesting though because in other sports it's it's it's to easily determine who's going to go to the playoffs but in the ufc the at that level there's some people who you think are going to get the next shot but it's never really there's no real definite definite title shot usually maybe now with the interim

titles are but with the is that frustrating as a fighter like do you feel like you should have gotten the title shot or i think um a lot of the the media outlets are like fake news much like our commander-in-chief likes to say that there's fake news i think there's a lot more fake news in mma than there is in the real world you know they've got these bogus rankings a lot of times i don't know who the fuck be doing the rankings you know when they do it but it's it's crazy i think a lot of it is a popularity contest nowadays more well let's let's pretend this is let's pretend this is 155 and you got rda you got uh kabib and you got tony ferguson and you got the king of swing and you got four guys and you three guys are going back and forth wrestling beating each other up

to determine who's going to get the irish kid right but guess what the last two fights on the prelims and knock the mother fuck out the first round and i mean one time the mouthpiece went out of the fucking thing and guess what the last time they put me on this on number three on the card i wouldn't buy a fucking knockout and a kick to the head and i call out kind of mcgregor you know what i just came off three dramatic fucking wins fuck you three dudes you know that's what it's entirely possible it's entirely possible you know he's rising quick and they decide that's the money fight you don't know right now who's the real money fight you know the you know there's 20 money fights right now yeah there's 20 fucking money fights now what you got in the ufc is that

guess what man and i'm not being out of line here you took away my sponsorship money i'm in that fucking realm guess what i want a money fight i got if i win fights i got nothing wrong by me asking for a money fight put me in the ring with one of these guys let me get a half a million or three quarters of a million fucking dollars i need that you're high just what i just fought seven times for the small fucking 30 g's or the small 50 g's while everybody's getting fat and flying the fucking hawaii and smoking you know i'm saying you look at the gates you look at different fucking things so i get that i did it for years you know they pay at the commie store on sunset 15 dollars 15 dollars monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday 15 dollars if you do

the main room you get 70 split by 22 people but during the week you get 15 dollars am i frustrated no it got me to where i am today those six fights you had at the short 20 g's while everybody else was getting 200 000 what are you gonna fucking do but guess what i want now i fought my six fights at 20 g's i got the fight of the night bonus three times i got the taste of blood let me get a fucking one of those one million things too let me get some security for my family what happens if i get kicked in the head and i don't know how to fucking spell washington you know what i'm saying i forget how to spell washington how am i gonna get a fucking job when i'm 40 you gotta give me a little something you know what i'm saying a little something two or three of those fights in a row

you know michael bisbing's looking for it you know a bunch of those guys are waiting for it i know the fight is michael bisbing against your romero on paper but you know what michael bisbing's been there for 20 years he's been at the u.s.c. for a long time he's he's got a knockout that's on every knockout reel in america his eyes knocked out by by dan henderson his fucking eye polisito he lost the fucking eye in this sport you know what bro he's got two kids let him get a money fight against gsp or something like that one time you all ain't going to know what you're all ain't going to know you're always getting stronger and bigger every day you're always going the other direction when you get to be 38 you can't see your dick starts fucking around your piss smells

funny but joel's up there too he's like 38 he's like 38 but you always got two two three more years you know what i'm saying but these guys are all they're kind of entitled to it i can't see me going into the u.s.c. tomorrow winning two fights and saying i want a million dollars i can't give it to you you want two fights kid but let me see 16 18 fights oh no please please chris wideman still he is fucking noises he can't hear new chucks no more chris wideman that's the loudest crack i ever heard in my fucking life he can't even be in the room with his mic wife was making breakfast in the morning chris wideman well what about uh jared canineer he fought last night still does f a a job they said he did his 10 hour shifts yeah red he just fought he just fought on the

paper for you last night yeah he has a federal job and he's just like i'm not giving it up well that's his insurance that's probably his family's insurance i don't know what the situation is but you know that's what everybody wants to money fight you know why everybody wants to fight economy fucking and this is silver wants to fight mcconnor mcgregor i have fucking sugar what's the fight should be you know everybody wants to fight sure everybody wants to make 20 million dollars you know what i'm saying but there's not a there's not a lot of those fights but you everybody wants one of them and right now you've been in the u of c you paid your dues all the dues have been paid the dues have been paid i've been paid from the fucking backyard

to now from the backyard and now them dudes been paid outside the u of c that's what i mean like a lot of dudes get to skip lines and privileges because they weren't an ultimate fighter or they got a big fan base coming in that you see him getting put on big cars again push and that's the shit that i'm like that's cool you know but when it comes to the ranking that's based on the right fighting ability you know on who's beating who's up you know promote whoever you want to promote but i just want to fight the best in the world and it's took until this long for me to get this number by my name and i didn't get good overnight i've been good it's just and i haven't been able to get these star key matchups you know how much bargaining power do you have

when you sign a contract i think because i don't think the average fan and if you can't talk about it that's fine i'm asking you to tell you you're a specific contract but just can can you say i want this specific i can i want more for a fight or do you lock in how much you're getting paid per fight for 10 fights i don't know i plead the fifth okay fair enough your honor that's a beautiful fucking thing you know listen man i get pissed sometimes now i get pissed when i go to a club now sometimes and they pay me on a percentage and i look at the check and i look at that same owner who told me 20 years ago after i did the longest yard that well he could pay me his 800 for the week and i want to fucking punch the fuck out of him but on the same time he gave

me an opportunity to improve and guess what i beat the odds and i get him now you know i'm saying so i understand i understand the fight game i understand what happened i mean do i support the nun i like that i like the fighters to make money they get punched in the fucking head this isn't a fucking job where you go in and staple papers and go home at the end of the day you know something might happen it's hard work man six fucking days a week and you're sore and you're eating advils what do you think happens to your liver when you're fucking 60 and shit it's it's tough fucking life man everybody wants to get paid but i don't think at times people don't understand the commitment they have to do to be paid you know i got it i had it over the

fucking years listen i lived till fucking six years ago i paid $600 for rent in hollywood in the studio with my wife you know i'm saying but you stick with this shit long enough and the whole time i was making money all those years i was just snorting it i was snorting and smoking fucking dope and eating like an animal so you don't do a fucking dick but it's so weird everybody gets into stuff for money when i got into comedy i didn't get into comedy for money bro not at all i never thought about comedy i never thought about money in comedy when i would go when i would call you and you'd say my club pays 50 bucks i would take it to me i knew i had to pay my dues i always fucking knew that then one day you wake up and you go you know what i'm enough paying my fucking

dues i ain't doing that shit no more and you make a constant decision not to do it and that's when the door opens up for you it's the people who say i'm not gonna do it no more then keep doing it then they realize when they fuck nobody's paying me because you haven't made the decision after the strike in this town the movie business dried up bro i would submit myself 20 times a year for movies plus my agents would submit me i was working all the fucking time then there was a strike in town and everything disappeared so people started contacting me for these youtube fucking movies you know you got to bring your own clothes or a hundred dollars a day that's the big one this time a hundred dollars a day so that and you don't know it when you book the movie but it's a night

shoot because they can't afford to pay for locations so everything's a night shoot in a rush you got to go to a strip club and shoot it four in the fucking morning what i did like for those things and i said one day you know what i'm not doing this no more and i kept getting calls kept getting calls kept getting calls and i refused to do those fucking things and one day i got grudge match did they pay me ah but at least i got a big time fucking movie i'm not wasting my goddamn time it's not till i made a constant decision that that happened you know i'm saying i then i see like when i was a comic there was a lady who didn't fucking like me when i first started for me to get back at her i would do her rooms for free i would call her up the day of the gig and go i'm

going to go down there and do a guest spot because i knew that it would just make me stronger that she was a piece of shit anyway and i was going to show it i was better than fucking she was than the club owners would ask her how can we don't book him and she would tell him some story all he does drugs i don't want to book him whatever fucking story she's dead i'm still fucking alive and taking like a bad motherfucker that i am the moral the story is it's like when a fighter when you're home and you're home and you see a fighter get up and go i i just want to fight i don't care what they pay me you're like you motherfucker be the same thing with comedians there's comedians that's why when i first got to the store one day i made that remark i said

the place is packed they only give you 15 fucking dollars and one of the managers said if you don't want to be a taking name off the fucking list i'll put a fucking map out there and i'll do a sign-up list for you one o'clock in the morning 70 people sign up for you don't know how lucky you are but you always want to get what you deserve also you know but for a while you got a couple dicks in the ass and that's that's the way the fucking ball bounces even Mike Tyson got fucked in the ass you know what i'm saying even Mike Tyson somewhere along the line something happens that's where you got to watch your back like a motherfucker you know all day what's up police i had how you're feeling i'm feeling better than uh than the last last week which was fun though but uh i'm feeling good man

i had a i won on the anderson silva bet i had a good night last night you went play blackjack friday night yeah oh my god yeah i had a this how'd you get rid of how'd you get rid of the white that night how'd you what'd you do on friday night how'd you get rid of i just she went to spend some time with her cousin they watch some i think i'm never gonna get cable because that means i don't have to watch the reality tv she goes to her mom's house to watch reality tv perfect so i'm just never gonna get cable man i still got on the netflix yeah i mean that's all i would watch anyway yes program yeah now and it's so sad i don't watch sports center at all anymore but uh yeah i had so much i i really think and now someone can so just steal it i really think it'd be a great

like almost like a cheer show but just in in a casino i think casinos i love it i don't know this casino you go this time ventura correct yeah this what the they're all they've always been very nice to me there it's just the opposite of agus how big is it it's like in between uh car dealership and an rv dealership it's probably the size of like a big warehouse they have a restaurant like they have mostly poker tables but they have back rotten like two or three blackjack tables in the back booze yeah how far is it for me an hour and though the reason why i like it is they don't do collection because for whatever reason in california that you have to pay a dollar per a hundred your if you bet a hundred you have to bet a dollar to play your hand in blackjack

and this one they have a company that pays for you so why don't you go down here to these places 20 minutes away downtown why we used to go gamble those guys i don't know anywhere to like there's commerce but they have the collection uh hollywood park has the collection um i've never been to morongo or something like that but i can't commerce got good chinese food player i've been to commerce a few times so commerce was kind of scary i did i did commerce when i first moved i wasn't even living here yet i was here i was here at like 21 you walk into commerce you know the yakuza lives in there so does the fucking ming dynasty so there's a bunch of filipinos any day that's day is about to go off a few mexicans every time you're going there you won't look around

you're like oh it's going wild wild west but we did comedy there for years they did comedy there i used to go in there every thursday they gave you like 50 bucks you went a little diner and then they gave you a free meal i i fucking milked that you know every thursday bro this is the same shit i never ate there i've never i've i've only i did that one for the first time and uh what is it called inventory but commerce was kind of the first time i ever played blackjack was in commerce and i had this lady yell at me because she was being three hands of a hundred dollars a hand she was professional was she asian no she was black she was black black women don't mess around either asian women asian women are kind of uh quiet don't be quiet and hate you but black

women will be yell at you at the table at least this one didn't you gamble join i should turn yes what do you gamble poker poker okay see are the casinos in miami casinos yeah in miami all over south florida and how big are they compared to this is how fucking retarded i am they're big i know nothing about this at a hard rock oh what am i saying i know about the magic city casino but i thought that was just an isolated incident no we got magic city we got mikusuki we got hyalia the hard rock coconut creek the aisles casino i know more because i'm a degenerate so yeah what type of cards do you play like what type of fucking blackjack do you play no i don't play blackjack i play poker poker that's it how long did it take you to learn poker because that's one

that everyone says i have to learn i started playing when i was like 15 house games all the way up till i was like 22 23 and then from 23 till now i've been at the casinos or no like as soon as i was 19 i started going to the casinos but not regularly how great is it when you win how great is that feeling it's awesome i've made good money in poker in vegas in in tournaments in florida so it's paid off you're a tournament guy also i could play tournaments i used to do them a lot more i don't have time with the kids it's a two three-day tournament i can't afford to be that many days you know so i mainly play cash now now two three-day tournament you stayed that whole time no sleep no no no you get to go home and sleep it's like eight hours some of them it depends on

a one-day tournament could last eight hours ten hours four hours if it's if it's like a quicker format when i was a kid bro i lived on this block when my mother died before my mother died i'm given out terrace but i used to live i used to benders lived on 39th street whatever the fucking that street they were like you know six families that got together every friday night and they would cook for the weekend for the kids they'd leave money out for the kids these motherfuckers would play cards from friday night straight till sunday morning bro no drugs holy shit no drugs coffee cooking food coffee over lay down for an hour and get up and play fucking poker if you're losing you stay up the whole time i i don't have patience no more drugs i

don't even know how to play poke i don't know i don't know how to play blackjack vaguely dominoes how about dominoes vaguely anymore i was more when i was a kid i played at the house they played at the bar you know but it wasn't like something that i was you know when i got locked up i played with some of the black dudes from time to time you know i didn't know how to gamble on them i don't know about this that's my second sport dominoes more than the poker uh i go on street she i got like a domino partner which is my brother he's not around now so we don't play that much together you play it with the team and me you know me and him know how to make the money you know where do you play dominoes oh man everybody plays dominoes in the houses you go to the domino park but those are

like the og dudes of the city it's just old cuban men that are calculators you don't put your money ever up against those guys because you just lose you know that's next level shit but like at the family parties and stuff i'm the champ you know how much are you betting on dominoes well it'll be like like joy was just saying we'll go to like a cookout on friday having many family and friends everybody will pay in 20 you have like 25 people that'll do that win or take all or second place gets their money back winner takes the rest okay that's that i thought you were bringing like a thousand dollars a gamble no if you if you want you can't just people to take it that seriously you could find that'll put a thousand dollars up on dominoes jesus yeah you know it's so weird i sport

gamble for like a year i took a beating and i just never had no interest in gambling i work too hard to give my money to a fucking bookie fuck that shit they used to break my heart when i had to meet that motherfucker on thursdays and give him 200 fucking dollars he used to kill me inside duck kill me so i said fuck i just won't gamble i can't handle it if i'm stealing and selling drugs i'll give you whatever you want on thursday you know what i'm saying but if i gotta get up and work for it in the morning do calmly and shit i can't get i'm saving the game is that the most fucked up shit yeah that's the most fucked up shit if i was selling coke oh yeah i gamble if i was robbing houses still driving drug deals oh i'll gamble that money away i'm the quickest dude i'll bet the

super bowl next year i'm one of those assholes but if i gotta get up and work for it shit i ain't gambling my fucking money jack you just suck my dick i'll gamble on weed that's it how crazy i set up a bank account i'm saving i would like it would just just to have a little thing i can draw from so i don't go crazy and i fucking lose my apartment or anything so you have a gambling bank account yeah i'm not drawing from it but i'm saving i'm saving up so i can do another one of those little big at the end of the year Vegas trips and i want i want to like i would just like to go and be able to sit down at the $25 table and like pay him like 500 bucks and not and like not worry about it and you're not gonna come home after the first this guy always taps out the well because

i always keep buying in this guy gets there at seven and by 20 he's got a room for two days by 12 he's driving back they broke him that happened twice they broke them they just broke them they broke as well he comes back twice yeah yeah you gotta milk it slow i'm getting better now why don't you practice at these casinos once a week go down on thursday nights when i'm gone and play cards at fucking kawanga whatever pachanga whatever the fucking name of this players casino yeah just tell mama from now on on thursdays i'm playing cards yeah maybe i won't every man has a card night that's true every man has a card if you want to be good at cards lee you can't show up at Vegas once every six months yeah right and play fucking cards if this is this is the eighth

discussion we've had about you like the gamble yeah if i i would say that's just in the culture you know you gotta like no i love dude if i was thinking that's in the mandatory standard contract you got like two nights a week that are just for you minimum minimum starting rights just for you no if you want to play cards this is what you gotta do you gotta go somewhere on thursday now do they play blackjack inventory yeah so you know thursday nights i'm from out of town you leave at five you have a nice dinner by yourself you bring a couple stars you go to the small table and you learn everything you can you know every time you go you go to lose after five hours that's like me going to jujitsu once a month and getting tapped out not coming back for a month

you're not gonna learn nothing right if you don't learn how to play cards that's why you lose all the time because you're rusty yeah because i'm i make mistakes i always have there's always like one hand that i mess up on so pick a night pick a fucking night yeah maybe every week one of those can uh what do you get those consulting things yeah that goes to you yeah that's your gambling money we're gonna put money in the bank like a half a fag what happens if the isis comes tomorrow what good is that gambling pun gonna do for you nothing that gambling funny gonna do nothing and you like going to those weird places like career town you're gonna get shot down there one so why you put money away for take that money every week to consult the money and take two

consult things and go up to this is your money that nobody knows about and nobody should know about until i sit on the podcast but you know what i'm saying like an asshole rat that i am this is if you want to play cut this is the problem you want to play we've had this discussion you go you get yourself a cheap hotel yeah you know and then you come back the time i i state you twice you were kissing no the only time the only time i was the only time i won i'm surprised and this is silver didn't lose yesterday when i found out you better well as soon as i saw that on twitter i go poor fucking and this is over he's going down you're the kiss of death but you're good at sports but if you just thought about it if you practice this blackjack once a week yeah maybe i get better

yeah you get better you get the consulting nobody knows about you take two of them you're hopping your car at five before the traffic hits you go up they got a nice state like a doctor and you play some blackjack you drink some coffee you eat a star or two yeah no that's right that's right they got a hotel up there they have like a motel but it's literally an hour it's literally an hour i'm just saying for that reason i'm saying if you want to go outside and take a nap maybe pull your dick and take a shower and go back downstairs and get more money oh yeah good yeah no i totally would yeah for $69 if you want a thousand 69 ain't gonna put a debt in your fucking genome you bring a little suitcase so you get to the hotel next door you wash your pussy

you wash an episode of fucking law and order you scrape your asshole you take half the money put it away and you take the other envelope downstairs and now you're ready for round two you gotta take a nap when you gamble it well how do you win it fucking the one-armed bandit i don't know what that is the one-armed bandit the fucking slot machine how do you want to slot machine play i don't know you have to sit there okay the people who win the big fucking money they sit there and they odds it they pull it they pull a fucking uh uh george masdival they count the odds they go against the odds they put quarters in for an hour then they throw three quarters in for fucking 20 minutes then they throw tweak one then interest throw quarters in there but the whole time they

get in the wheel of fortune and they're milking that motherfuckers titties and you're sucking the titties and your finger banging on your son wheel of fortune you've been there for six fucking hours that machine's as warm as it's gonna be eventually it's gonna spit out a fucking golden retriever here bam you get your 50 g's and go to your room nobody sticks around long enough with the slot machine because they lose their money all in one fucking shed well when you go to the casinos the old like not to the people who stay they're all there the the the older women and men who just they bang it out oh yeah if they go to vegas 10 times a year they make money seven times guaranteed they got three weekends they lose what maybe two three hundred how much can they possibly save up they

gotta check on the first right and i i don't know i know i know it's i'm not supposed to like it losing money but i'm a shy person i love i love the whole part of game i love everything about it i love being at the table and high-fiving i love telling people good luck when you wish good luck we have a black hoping for a blackjack you hit the table i get crazy i like i like it it's it's uh it's a whole atmosphere that it's it's like a little party is when like when you get going late at night with a blackjack table there's nothing more fun when everyone at the table's winning when the dealer's rooting for a bust and then he busts and and then especially if you're out like one of the weird like one of the casinos that has like a bust side bet where you can bet

that the the dealer's gonna bust and like so if you have like a seven i always sat at a table at ventura and this happened because i don't make that bet because it scares me these people made like a fifty dollar bet had like a seven card bust which paid something crazy like 18 to 1 8 8 to 1 they got a 450 dollars just off of that person busting they were high-fiving buying drinks tipping people it's there's nothing more fun to me i don't know they were splurging at the table for your drinks for everybody but and in vegas it's uh vegas is fun because the uh the dealers will help you a little bit these dealers were a little bit more so there was a almost i had to leave i left because there's almost a fight at the table and not a fight

but the dealer just was kind of almost yelling at one of the uh people like he just wouldn't it was an asshole he said uh i wish the other dealer was over here and the and the dealer just wouldn't you're like why are you saying that to me i'm right here and then and the kid just wasn't he uh he didn't expect to get talked back to and i like i like that stuff too it's very nice i'm happy you like that stuff you like going jumping up and down and shit fuck yeah you gotta get yourself some big fucking black chick to put those titties in your face while you're blackjack and you always leave that out fuck oh i don't have that like high five man what the fuck are you talking about fuck yeah it's fun i don't you say i deal with that is crazy he didn't say i like

winning money because i'm in and out i fucking see that's a problem i'm not in the complete i don't want to i hate when somebody recognized me and just starts talking about it and i'm like yo oh i see i haven't had that no one's no one's ever recognized me at the table that might get weird well then then well just because i'm it's a no they bothered you at the south point as well people bother me at the south point i mean they wouldn't say hi but saying hi is fine but if it just with money on the table i could see i would be weird but see my my issue is i'll be up and then i won't leave and i lose all my money that's everybody's issue that's not just yours and don't feel bad i fucking did what you did i got yelled at 1995 at the mirage i had no idea what i was doing

oh yeah they could angry a couple bumps in me i walked up to the blackjack table just to start there was like a $10 table every year i worked for a guy that would take you to vegas in february as part of your package and it was i worked for a gambling service so he was good friends with fred win whatever the wind the guy that owns that and the guy would put us up in the mirage and then we'd have dinner up in wind's office it wasn't bad you went for three days he gave you an allowance which i didn't get why is this nor the cook wouldn't you know that's the only time i went to a strip club in vegas i've not been in the strip clubs since 1995 wow 14 of us walk that is discipline my brother i just didn't have use for it that's discipline i didn't have use for it i want to

suck your pussy and suck your titties and finger you i don't want to sit there and throw dollars on you like a half a bag oh no no no i'm too old yeah no miami you could do that oh yeah miami they're disgusting animals they're crazy it's it's different how like other states see when i was younger strip clubs i'm not saying i want to put my my penis in you i don't want to grab your titties i'm like i got a couple drinks in me show me that monkey you know i'm saying bend over do something speak to me oh toothless one something jack so i didn't want to uh i don't know i didn't really uh that was it 95 for me that's just a shallon monk like discipline it was creepy it was a ton of guys you know like there was just too many guys and the fucked up thing it was listen when you walk

into a strip club as a man but did you go on the weekend no i went during the week and it was fucking packed this is 1995 yeah 1995 with 14 guys from a sports betting office you know six of us were crazy we had a package maybe i had weed in the room you know you didn't have to do shit with them all day but the guy knew i was a little crazy and i made him feel better if i if i tagged along so i went to the strip club and i don't know that i used to go to a strip club when i was younger in jersey where chicks used to sit on a bottle and then when i was a comedian when i first started doing county i went to a strip club in toronto that wasn't bad but besides that they've never really tickled my fantasy like i had to go down and have a good time and that time in vegas i sat

there for a little while and i got a lap dance and nothing happened they wouldn't even let me touch their tits or whatever you know and i was like why am i sitting here i'm a grown fucking man you know well was this any this is one of those big clubs where you know you're supposed to go and have a good time and i know i'm wrapped a little too tight but it was funny because i sat at the table with a bunch of dudes and the girl was dancing first of all i never forget she had a white head on her ass and it kept driving me crazy like how do you go to work with a white head on the ass but that's not the issue here right we're sitting there and something happened with a girl bent over and i made a noise like yeah something like a cuban would do you know

it's like a rica and she fucking got insulted like what do you know what i'm saying like i didn't say nothing bad i didn't i said like jesus i said went like that and she came over she's like that's something like fuck okay so i was like what the fuck am i doing in here so i never really been to a strip club in vegas nor do i want to go on top of that there was a bunch of dudes and half of them were dressed up like they were going on a date like what the fuck is wrong with you like they were dressed up like that like that this is real this was real for them and i'm like i can't be any a dog i can't i can't do it so i just don't go and listen different strokes with different folks if you look at me you think i like dirty hookers in strip clubs not at all i've never at the commie

store i've never been to crazy girls or the other one i went outside crazy girls to buy coke my armenian deal used to meet me over there saturday nights but i never went in crazy girls just not my cup of tea can you believe that bro i don't blame you i'm a honey don't i'm a honey dude i got desires we all got motherfucking desires with tony benerjee i want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart some somebody twice as smart as i i

somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me who'll leave you to learn i want to give some shout-outs here to my man justin kerlett jalal salam james edward truels sleeve choke bjj my man d in colorado darvin mcginnis devon holmes walter white and ryan sli i don't know what the fuck i love you cocksuckers thank you for being bad motherfuckers and always supporting us here what's going on g money you're plugging in phones you're sending morse codes what the fuck is going on here tonight i gotta ask you some questions here your children know what you do my children love what i do they

watch you fight they love it they they watch my two-year-old watches you know they're two-year-old yeah he watches you poppy poppy poppy while the tv's playing he goes nuts he knows when it's me and you put the videos on from everything yeah they watch it live they come watch your train oh yeah it's tremendous fucking tremendous they know what i do i couldn't imagine George Modervan when i was watching that fight i'm watching and it's funny because you know i'm a fan of the sport and i'm a fan of people it's till i meet you but it's a different game if i meet a fighter and i kind of like him no i don't want to see him fight no more i get all guilty and shit i don't want to watch him fight no i'll check and see who won later on i was thinking about that when you

were fighting cowboy i'm like i really don't want to see this shit but i go away there and i do want to see this shit and before i could think and turn it off the fight was over so it was quick one beautiful yeah once i fall in love with something i'm like i really don't want to see him fight tongue yeah when there's somebody closest yeah yeah kind of bothers me i get more nervous for my friends my teammates you know fighting me too than to do myself you know me too it's kind of weird more it's out of your hands you know so it's like you know it's different like i would go to anderson silver fights and so i started talking to him when they had with that suarez and i noticed how nice he was that when i would see him we chit chat when they said i told rogan i don't want to go to the

morners and so fights like what i like them too much dog i like them too much i don't want to see him fight he's a beast man he's still doing what he's doing at this age 42 is he 42 i think right 42 41 i thought he was 39 he's been on top for so long even before the u of c you know if you had that situation would you still fight well he pulled this one out yeah i don't know how many fights he's got left in the contract maybe two more maybe a couple more he's 41 he's turning 42 in april i had so many wars so many great fights and he was on the on top of the world before the u of c was kicking ass and shudo he's been he's one of the greatest i think in the sport he's the one that made me watch the u of c again like i watched the forest griffin thing and that was great

but when i saw and this is silver beat up levin i i that was it i was sold i was sold i became a real fan i watched all his fights the precision yeah just a whole thing that fucking veto bell for a kick that steven segao showed him what the fuck steven segao he stopped russia man he's in russia is he i saw that he was like a russian citizen now yeah so he's the only one that left after trump got elected no i don't i don't think he had nothing to do with it i thought he was the only one that left i don't know i think if out of all the people who talk shit he's the only one that left you motherfucker should all be ashamed of yourself yeah he was doing something steven segao he was all the fucking u of c's for a while yeah like a big sponsorship in russia

he became like a the first dual citizenship something i read something then i forgot it because i get punched in the head too much but i saw some of that nature you know he's still making movies i know i've got if you look at his imdb he's made a hundred movies that you've never even heard of because he probably just does foreign distribution they don't even put them out on and he makes so many movies they don't even put them out they match them with everybody dmx bmx j j mclan they've hooked him up tom arnold they've had him with everybody except the fucking dead people like they've hooked him up with everybody at this point if you i imdb'd him about a year ago he's made so many fucking movies i don't think he's making any money i think like

he probably had like a tax lien or something he did something he beat up kill the brock he did something that fucking dude he has 55 actor credits and 49 producer credits yeah yeah that means they give them they give him the producer because they can't pay him and listen steven you're not selling tickets he has three movies that have been either announced completed or in pre-production four jesus hey dawg he works a lot more than me i ain't goofing on him i'm just saying that after a while like dean kane those type of guys nobody's watching movies for them no more they still work all the time but the only way they can really make money they what what sag will do is say okay so it's a hundred dollar a day movie we're gonna give you two hundred dollars a day two fifty that's

the most we could give you for those but we'll make your producer if the movie makes any money you get a little fucking backend so that's smart like i was doing those dean came once those are hundred dollar a day movies for fucking the disney channel though but after the first one then they had to pay us they were still a hundred a day but they would give us bonus money at the end of the shooting under the table like that's an envelope nobody fucking saw tremendous no commission no nothing nobody saw nothing every year they gave you a raise it was tremendous they haven't called them two years so i guess that's the end of my fucking dog saving career you know i'm saying the dog saved america the dog saved christmas the dog is saved east the the dog that saved christmas day

it was an education doing those bro to do six fucking movies like that with a fucking animal you have no idea dawg you have no idea what it is to shoot a fucking movie with an animal and what a mistake it is till you're fucking doing it and the dog ain't paying attention because it was a b movie so they couldn't get smart animals they got they stupid animals that they were just taking like a gamble with like let's see if tiffy will work today you know what i'm saying it was like one of the producers oh it was fucking terrible if you watch those movies you can hear like that we had what's the chick that caused a bunch of trouble that sunk dick on tape hilton paris she was the voice of chihuahua one year i mean it was fucking god awful but i tell you what it was an education

they called me one day made me audition i audition i got the role the first movie we shot up here and if you watch the movie like the first few days it was like six days to shoot the movie but you shot all day the last day they did a scene where the dog attacks us and the chandelier falls on us and it's me and dean k and then you get cut and he's getting off on top of me and all of a sudden i fucking fart right in his face it's time to fucking move you if you watch the outtakes at the end so they called me back for the second one i'll tell you what all those movies it was an education like i said and i'm really proud that they used me and i see them all the time they don't pay me no residuals they're fucking thieves a couple people took them to court already

because every once in a while i got a check and i got a letter with it saying that you know these are back residuals you got owed everybody sued the fucking company they don't want to pay residuals what a fucked up career is to be in hollywood they don't want to pay you fucking residuals you know how many of snowballs i jumped off and i did the one movie we shot in colorado for anybody fucking times i fell in the snow those were real falls i was my own stuntman there was no stunt double look at another fucking day that we think there's another me out there there's no fucking other me out there fucking i was my own stunt double for a hundred a day then they called me like for the fourth one i just had knee surgery i told them i said listen i'll do it but there

ain't no jumping up buildings there ain't no crazy shit there ain't no running first day i get to this motherfuckers like you gotta run up the hill like what i fucking tell you on the phone that i ain't running up no fucking else you better put me on roller skates and pull me with your teeth bitch by the end of the movie i tormented him so much he just quit he never directed one of those dog movies again his name was mike five he's like a born again christian i got out of the movie business he was terrible he changed his life that bad that he got out of movies i think born again christian i'll play it well he was always like a half a born again christian he was like was like a half a fact but you retired him like from the movie circle you know what i haven't seen

him but he hasn't directed those movies anymore he hasn't directed them since that time i told him off on the way up the hill how much did you torture that guy that he quit his profession bro when you shoot those fucking movies they drive you crazy so i gotta drive if i know that that drives me crazy oh no i love torturing people i love torturing people but if he was torturing me this guy you know how you torture me by doing the same scene 10 times and it's perfect after the third scene nothing bothers me more than that and i'll tolerate it for a little while and i'll fucking play it and nothing bothers me more when somebody asks you if you could do something and you say no and then they ask you again nothing bothers me more than that

nothing and people like doing that in the movie business you know what i'm saying in the longest yard there's a scene where we all jump in the water you ever see the movie where we all jump in the fucking pond the mud right in the mud when we got to that morning bro there was smoke coming out of our fucking breath and then he was like mm-hmm i gotta sing this weekend bitch i got three motherfucking shows and i get prayed i ain't fucking jumping in there you know what man we fucking jumped in what the fuck we got him to jump in they asked us do you want stuntman no nobody used to stuntman and it was tremendous we only had to do it we did it in one take one fucking take we did it

i like that shit and that's it we got it you do these movies that are a hundred a day the director thinks he's fucking Fellini you follow me when you work with it it's like we were talking about fighters the other day you never hear about u.s.c. fighters get into brawls in the street because i could call george a thousand things george is so secure in what he could do that he won't even say nothing back to me right that got sick when you come on and he'll walk away i can say shit about his family but george just walk away you know because they're a fucking professional but when you work with a high-level director they're cool like i got that the spider-man two dude that how many times you think we shot that spider-man scene maybe once or twice move on

they had a b camera a camera d camera i got it it's somewhere in here we got it let's move on but when you shoot with a less experienced director for him to show you his balls that's what they do to you george they fuck with you a little bit because they're not that guy they're not spielberg they're not that fucking guy trust me dog i've done 20 of those fucking movies and about 10 of them i've had a pool of directors signing a law oh don't don't even think about it don't even think about asking you ask that and you have to do that if not it's like anything else in your life they'll just keep snowballing it well it's not always true but how many times did you have a new teacher like a teacher who had just come out of college and they were hard ass

and then you had a teacher who'd been there for 30 years and they were cool as shit yeah same fucking incident yeah that's it and the guy that was a hard ass is getting shit thrown at him right he's getting fucked up thing bro i went to a school called mckinley listen in my in my jurisdiction in north bergen there was probably nine now kennedy mckinley franklin lincoln robber footen harris man there was six grammar schools everybody knew lincoln if you were on the third floor you were damaged goods you know i'm saying something was wrong with you there was no medication in those days they just put you on the third floor they took their chances i'm sure you were really nice to the third floor kids no i didn't go to lincoln i didn't go to lincoln they put

them on the third floor and they hope they jump out a window you know i'm saying that's what they put them on the third floor they left the windows open those kids a little bit look around look at what you know i'm saying they were all fucked up they would go to basketball games and chains that's how fucked up lincoln was no they were not going to yes they would they were fucking savages when i was in the eighth and seventh grade huh but where i went to mckinley that was fucking uh we were a little bit more not retarded but we were a little just on top of that they still had the pilot program the pilot program was designed for cuban kids who came over on the boat and they just couldn't break bust out of the seventh grade but if you were driving to the seventh grade

you signed up and they put you in the pilot program i swear to god george i swear to god fucking interesting george i swear to god you go to you be in the seventh grade with the same motherfucker he was in the seventh grade two years ago all of a sudden you're in the seventh grade with him you're like what happened because in those days you come from cuban the second grade and you picked up the english but by the time the seventh grade came we just fucking confused it was too ice bro i'm not making this shit up no i was in special classes they had the pilot program yeah they had the pilot program so the pilot program the rule was if you had sideburns or if you drove your family to the school because if you were 17 in spanish in those days you already

had a kid you had a part-time job on the market that cut and cut and cut and meet and shit those kids are crying i mean i went bro when i was in the eighth grade i went to school with a cuban kid named Juan Ali and he had already two checks pregnant he had two babies in the eighth grade and he was working for his father at the gas station what grade was he supposed to be in like he was supposed to be like 28 he had hair and the fucking he drove a truck for his family but he was in the eighth grade Juan Ali disappeared there was one particular kid his name was Luis Zaldivar and Russo he was like one of those russian looking cubans they called him a Russo and they had a tall white dude yeah they had what the Ali brothers Juan Alberto Ali Juan was solid

but Alberto was a little bit retarded when they were like 13 12 they were going to these prostitution houses in new york with their uncle cuban dude and whenever Juan would say you ever see those comedy teams on tv hey George what are you doing boss i didn't know what was going on it was the same relationship with his brother we're being in the seventh grade and they'd show up and they go what'd you do this week i went to the movies what'd you do i went to the circus what'd you do Juan Ali me my brother went to this fucking house over in the Bronx they suck get dick for ten dollars they wash a dick in a bucket and he would just look at the retarded brother he'd go see that's all he would say see they were taking this retarded kid into the city

to get his dick sucked Juan Ali the worst thing was good for him Juan and Alberto Ali Juan was the shop owner but it was a little fucking retarded he just he just followed the brother he was like that brother they charge more for him and giggled no he didn't have the chinese eye he wasn't retarded looking he was just two steps ahead of the game you know what i'm saying like he barely if he didn't follow his brother he forget what school was he was one of those guys but he wouldn't fucking get lost dog we lived right next to Duratest not me i hung out in that neighborhood but Duratest was where they made light bulbs so every day after school we jump in the garbage can of Duratest and we take the long light bulbs out and the short ones and we beat each other up George you go home

all white bowed it so i got on the roof one day i took like a bucket of light bulbs and i got a roof one then i just thought i'd throw the light bulbs off the roof right wow and i there was a rock on the floor and i just threw it up not even thinking i hear and i look over it's alberto the retarded one he's on the floor and he's like oh man i hit him in the head he had a lump but they hadn't busted open it was just like one of those contusions that keeps growing and you can see the pus at the end we had to pick him up off the floor and you say it was tremendous just want to make sure he was like that before you hit him with the light bulb right oh yeah he was missing a couple of fucking all right but i think he was in the pilot program louisa the law was in the

pilot program orlando salseno another Cuban kid that throughout the whole class he would just do this one he was just sitting in the back and go wow that's it every 10 minutes wow the teacher would lift the head up and go who was ever making the heavy breathing please knock it off all these dudes got left back like eight times and when they were in the seventh grade pilot program gone up to the high school program and then they last a year because it was all they couldn't they couldn't deal with it yes it's tough man you're gonna get weird turn the mic around so i can hear you that thing that thing one two those are the old days you got me all sent about all those characters you describe it's funny the the names you gave them the acronyms i think it's called

right is that the right word it translates directly to my generation like all the descriptions are el ruso i know he's between five three and six two he's a white guy uh light hair light eyes you know like like a spanish dude you know so i know what type of character y'all do is tremendo periguero you know he was real cuban and there was a teacher we have mr brone and mr brone will raise his head up and go louis zaldivar and he was so cuban didn't get fucking mad like the motherfucker saying my name wrong and before he got into the pilot program i showed him my own eyes i was getting a peanut butter sandwich for the lunch day the mr sabatino and i turned around and he was talking to the principal louis zaldivar and the principal told him to stop to take him up to the office i'll never

forget this plan this day and he grabbed louis zaldivar's arm and this guy pulled his arm off turned around and just fucking decked the principal the principal didn't go down with his head was all fucked up he was walking like as he rung his belt the principal said you're out of here you're thrown out of he went to his office and locked the fucking door i never saw louis zaldivar again until facebook like four years ago but that class we had a teacher when i was in the eighth grade dog that was the roughest school like it wasn't rough as far as the characters like there was a kid charlie gizzy and whenever a plane would go by he would make believe he was shooting it down he would get on the desk like there was a couple kid david in fact david bishop i heard went back

after he graduated the eighth grade he went to college no he went to high school he went to the marines and he came back to mckinley to shoot one of the teachers that long dog we were some hardcore dudes dog that that that you knew that something wasn't gonna work out for him yeah we had people like ray cannella who was solid but one day we had this teacher something happened bro we were knocking out substitutes by the day and i'm not talking about striking them or hitting not at all nobody ever looked at a thing in those schools we would torment them yeah i was part of the group we used to dog we used to go to shop right right behind my school to steal hubba bubba for lunch we'd steal a six pack of hubba bubba you ever get hit in the head with hubba bubba what

are you talking about oh my god we'd stick hubba bubba in our mouth and chew it while you were on the backboard adding figures we'd all whip a piece of hubba bubba your fucking head one day a janitor was coming in with a ladder and we threw a hubba bubba at him and they hit him right in the face and almost knocked him over and he kept saying something hit me with bubblegum and one guy goes what flavor dog we used to torment the people that came into that classroom the day we fucked them up the most was we were all in there one day and the principal came in he's like i don't even know what i'm doing this he goes i don't even know i'm doing this he goes there's some guy here that wants to talk to you it's uh you know you sell chocolate for kids

or whatever he wants to talk to you i'm gonna give him 10 minutes of your time please be courteous we were animals in the eighth grade dog and this guy came in he's telling us about these diseases that hurt kids and you have to sell this chocolate and it costs a million dollars to do the therapy and shit and the problem with the kids is if they get the disease they can only walk three feet per every 10 minutes or something and the guy goes does anybody have any suggestions if you want to sell chocolate and this dude i'll never forget his name is Richie Colombo his hair cut he basically was a poor Italian kid and his mother would just cut in between here and put water on his hair and by nine o'clock his hair would just pop up even the teacher asked

him what would you comb your hair with with a stick of dynamite because his hair bro was perfect down the middle but i have to take away from the story the teacher said do you have any suggestions and Richie Colombo goes let me ask you a question oh so what you're telling me is they take three steps every 20 minutes did you ever think of giving them roller skates so that was it the dude looked at this closed his briefcase picked it up and walked right the fuck out of there and he on the way out he's like i heard you people a fucking animal we were animals at that age bro we went to philadelphia and they made the mistake to take us to philadelphia for the holidays oh my god for the nutcracker suite we lasted 20 minutes we took paper clips with rubber bands and we started whipping them at

the fucking players on the stage and somebody got hit that's it throw McKinley out oh my god kill no no no no no no Doug we had a good time in that class Cuban kids some crazy italians couple jews you guys weren't allowed in field trips standard like you got your class field trips wasn't an option for you guys no we weren't good at field trips everywhere we went we caused damages yeah which is a good thing oh what are you talking about Sebastian as a kid he was part of the live the group that was having a blast yeah he went to have a good time we had those barbecues and shit hey what's the next six months what's the next year what do you want the title 155 170 where you want to be in 170 170 pounds beautiful yes sir

yes sir and you're in you're getting right you're in there in a good time and a perfect opportunity the world is in your fucking you like Tony Montana 84 you know what I'm saying oh man the world is yours right now it's all up to you there's no more fucking around you know what I'm saying these are sharp decisions and shit this is like a war now you ever play that game as a kid battleship d4 this is what this became battleship this is why you play battleship as a kid you know what I'm saying I love it I love what you did I love what you've been doing I've been a fan for a long fucking time and it's great to see that it's all coming together but it didn't come together overnight you know what I'm saying you earned everything and now you're burping up a stone

that Thai food I wouldn't eat that shit if they serve it at the White House I'd run the fuck out of there the Thai food in California never pass it up I didn't tell you so I used to go to that place when I first moved here 20 years ago and get the pad thai shrimp at night it was tolerable I would take the peanuts I don't want peanuts on my fucking noodles oh that's the best part no no no no I like the sprouts oh I take that part in the little way I like the sprouts how they mix with the peanut with the noodles I'm gonna eat the shrimp and shit that place that used to be my name you got the old school Cuban mentality where you like it a certain way there's no changes no I love I love the ear UFC fighter and then you like you loved your Thai food outside of the office oh no I can't

tell him he knows I'll puke in here I'll fucking puke I can't that shit every and then I'll be on my nose for four days that's what kills me about all that type of food that sticks in my fucking nose you know McDonald's is great you're gonna McDonald's bro get a big Mac you ever it's fucking great you ever eat McDonald's on a plane you ever smell McDonald's on a plane and ain't too fucking good my friend and ain't too fucking good that's what I'm saying that's all I'm saying if this was my house you could have brought it over but in this office to leave Thai food in here you fucked me up and it would fuck me up in here I couldn't come in here for a week and have to pick it's for breeze this shit and it wouldn't even be tonight that he he I can smell it through the

door right now no you can't yes I can what do you smell some type of food I could smell it right now as we speak I'm not insulting nobody or nobody's food I'm just saying that there's a string of food I can't even fucking smell I can't even be in the same room one of them being one of the most favorable Cuban foods there is yuka can't even be in the same room I don't want to be in the same fucking thing if I sit at your table put the yuka on the other side of me please because you don't insult the shit out of me all the way down there all the way down there you told me broccoli and I ordered broccoli next to you in Boston you didn't say anything because I couldn't fucking smell it good thing you told me that once I smell it then I'm gonna say something can you please move the

fucking broccoli I went to a concert one time at the LA Hollywood Bowl whatever the fuck the whole time I sat there with a headache I didn't know what it was bro it smelled like fucking something I looked down the chick had a box of fucking broccoli what I wanted to hit her in the head who goes to a constantly fucking broccoli you know what I'm saying she's what I deal with this is what I fucking deal with this is my world my friend see that's who I can if you want to torture that person go ahead and do that the person who brings broccoli to a concert please there's no listen but you don't you don't suspecting people once you bring broccoli to a concert there's no help for you you've passed a barrier reef I can't fucking help you there's no fun I can't fucking help you

it's a point in our return expose 87 you know what I'm saying is what are you crazy fucking broccoli to a concert that's the world we live into that and people have anything ranch blue cheese nothing marijuana that's all you bring to a concert marijuana quail foods cocaine acid whatever you got you bring to your mother's pain medication you don't give a fuck you don't know you don't want a snack no I'll get snacks later after the fucking concert who takes but you know but they have these outdoor concerts and that's what I was saying it's like disco and I went over to the hollywood bowl and people put their blankets down and shit this wasn't the cheap seats this was like the good seats my wife worked at but it was the lady had broccoli I could not fucking believe

I could not believe it that's Cali in Miami they'll sneak in so you know all type of stuff at the movies oh no I don't mind food at the movies a good fucking uh oh please unless no Cuban sandwich at the movies but you got to be selling sitting with your homies because you could smell a Cuban sandwich too see I got I got fucked over at the movies a couple weeks ago some guy had nachos next to me and I used to be I used to have a craving for those movie theater nachos not enough to sit next to it for 45 minutes I don't how bad do they smell oh they smell terror I'll tell you what else I can't smell popcorn well popcorn drives me my wife likes popcorn do you like popcorn do you mean popcorn or do you mean the butter or both

I like popcorn with butter a little bit of salt and a lot of fucking pepper you got like spider-man senses in your nose yeah that's fucking that's why I stopped doing coke you put pepper on pop that's crazy oh yeah no you don't parmesan cheese little pepper parmesan okay oh my parmesan garlic parmesan little black pepper that's the most hipster thing you do with the little fucking butter you mix it in there fucking good that's popcorn not that shit dry like I'm in a fucking prison camp with no water I need two gallons I gotta get up eight times during the movie don't put butter on it you better put fucking butter on that motherfucker what I put on your side no put on the whole fucking thing because before I do it right before the lady come here

you moron with the fuck come here you put a little bucket over there you hit it with a little butter in the bottom see these fucking animals just put the popcorn on top and then they hit in the middle no no no burn through the bag when you make lasagna you put shit on the bottom don't you yeah same thing you put a little butter on the bottom you dope up that bucket a little bit get the bucket ready for what's coming in there oh you get the bucket okay then you hit the popcorn three four five inches again a little bit of fucking butter a little bit of salt a little bit of fucking pepper a little bit garlic parmesan so you get it in that bottom level okay you want to do it right why is everybody got to be a fucking animal this was not taught to me this was not

a video that I watched this was not on fucking one of these cooking shows this is something I figured out from sticking my hand down there and looking for shit and now you're on the 18th fucking napkins and guess what you got to get up anyway to go wash your hands unless you're a fucking filthy animal how you gonna watch that movie with sticky fucking hands the rest of the movie you get up and wash your hands oh I bring extra napkins right napkins yeah yeah but the three napkins look at you look at you look at you you want to save trees get the fuck out of doing napkins I'm bringing 18 so I got a fucking bucket I put butter in that motherfucker yeah then I put popcorn on top of that then I hit it with the garlic parmesan a little pepper a dash of salt and I hit it again with the

three four more inches then I hit it with a little butter a little salt again then I dip it with two more inches and then you but before you add those two inches you stick like a fucking straw in there right from the counting you mix it up good like you know I'm saying you dog I'm telling you this is how you do fucking popcorn I remember going to the movies because I take that how long does that take I'm I'm just patering the order him placing the order no no because you got to stop me go excuse me man can I talk to you for a second you know me and you were Americans I'm gonna do this as well as the right way as Americans this is how Americans do popcorn hit an inch of butter in there what are you saying hit the bucket with no fucking butter in there I don't want no popcorn

put an inch of butter in there now put the popcorn in three inches now stop what you're doing give me the popcorn trick trick hit it with some butter please boom before you do this you put a five on the count I mean I'm not a savage you understand me now we're talking to put a five on the count see but what are you what are you gonna do now some a lot of movie theaters the butters somewhere far away from the from the whether give me the popcorn yeah do that well then take a hike bitch I'm giving you a five you know what I'm saying you get 10 50 an hour I'm throwing another fin on you I'm a gentleman I wouldn't tell you to do the special unless before I gave you the same I put the fin down like a listen I'm gonna do a little project here do you mind

here's a little five dollar but I do it all the fucking time now because I don't want shit the way they didn't give it to me anymore yeah popcorn at home my wife buys the bags and shit she's like why haven't popped movie night now I gotta sit there and smell this fucking popcorn for 20 minutes I gotta open up the back door I hate all those smells bro I put Tabasco sauce on the popcorn what that's not bad either but not the basketball source I don't put any butter on my popcorn no I know you don't why would you do something like that who needs butter I eat it's right like a present of cat a corn popcorn the sweet one with hot sauce oh yeah that's nice too I'll throw some Parmesan cheese on that bitch too what are you talking about cheese got no cat no no carbs you

could put up a jar with that shit in your mouth because it doesn't have carbs doesn't mean you have to eat it but it adds flavor with a little bit of fucking pepper and a little bit of fucking butter come on Lane I don't know why be a fuck I'm the worst dud in the world and I even do that you want to eat but non-butter popcorn well no you're you're the one who always talks about tradition this is there's no tradition in non-butter popcorn unless you're a prisoner and watching a movie on movie night your only people don't eat pop butter on popcorn is convicts on fucking Friday night when you gotta watch PT 209 with no butter on your popcorn after three kernels you're like I can't take this no more I'd rather do an extra year than eat this fucking

dry fucking popcorn that's what I'm talking about yeah but what about Parmesan cheese a little Parmesan cheese but you still gotta have the butter in there right when you make the tortellini fuck oh yeah you put butter in there you also throw some Parmesan cheese in there and some black pepper that's the flavor league you gotta dope up everything in this fucking world you can't eat it like they give it to you if not you end up like the rest of these months you gotta take the time it takes two minutes and a little bit of kindness to ask the girl at the movie theater listen can we do this a little fucking different I'm gonna teach you something wisdom wisdom two inches of butter popcorn bop bop bop bop bop you know when they got no problems

you're enjoying your movie the raisin that's on fucking and they're in the what do you call when the pitch is in the back pitching warming up what is it no with no pan they're in the boat pan warming up right where you're eating your popcorn who's better than you you got that buttery popcorn you got some raisin that you got all the chocolate however it was yeah only thing I'm sure but just raisins what am I the guy who came with fucking broccoli to the concert yeah that's who shows up with raisins with no flavoring the same people who showed up to the console with broccoli but if we do like some raisins with broccoli did they have a sauce for it hot sauce anything or was just raw broccoli these poor people leave them alone just raw broccoli raw broccoli and they

no but they have brand sauce they have blue cheese listen they had something the best nigga that was poisoned to dip it in that's the best bet all right it doesn't really matter they have blue cheese or rants who shows up with fucking it's crazy it's it's insane that you showed up with broccoli period but I just want to see how much crazier they were because if you show up with a sauce okay maybe it doesn't really make sense but whatever but if you show up with no sauce you're a complete savage you're just eating broccoli like to survive that's crazy you know any of these people that would show up with broccoli they're probably uh they're on a fucking certain diet to impress their friends that's crazy that's crazy that's what they you know they're on something just broccoli

that's crazy I don't have time for that manager you know if you're gonna get down get done you're gonna concept the smoked oak leaf cheeseburgers whatever the fuck they give you I don't know what the name is I fool the concerts anymore I don't fucking know I never went to a concert to eat I was well met up doing drugs I got no time to eat at a fucking concert anyway I'm gonna eat at a fucking concert and jump up and down and get nachos on my shirt that's what I was wondering I was wondering if they have they had like vegetables for sale at the Hollywood Bowl or she brought them from home she brought them in one of those ropes containers oh no the ones that have everything in it but sometimes you can just buy the broccoli she just bought the broccoli I've seen that you've

seen that and it's fucking huge oh my god so she opened the tub and I'm like what's that fucking odor no anyway I've seen I've seen periscopes of girls doing that on planes like with like vegetables they bring snacks for a plane you have you have no idea how bad food if you really you know everybody walks around make them believe they really fucking care they make believe they really care they care about that no you don't because you wouldn't do certain shit if you've ever smelt McDonald's on the plane you never show you know what do me a favor bro unless they sell that food on the plane that don't stink don't bring your own fucking food when I fly out of Miami I'd buy 20 Cuban sandwiches I tell them not to cook them I put them in my overnight compartment nobody even

knows like a doctor put it right next to my sleep apnea machine a bag of fucking Cuban sandwiches now if I was to cook them and put them on the plane then I have to make a detour in the turret because the plane would stick like fucking garlic so I would never do that I would never do something like that in a fucking plane but people don't give a fuck they bring those nasty sandwiches on the plane this shit McDonald's smells terrible on a plane curry smells terrible like I love curry you can't do that you can't do that like strong curry on a plane listen let me tell you something if I'm on a plane I eat a couple of animals and you sit next to me with curry it's a problem it's a problem I'm gonna bring the buzz on making flies and everything but I heard you on the phone

talking about fucking your cousin Khabib you'll meet him at the airport I will you sit next to me with hummus or that shit I will downline one they sell hummus in the plane though I will be fucking Henry Hill I will dial you to fuck out and tell him I just heard I smell cigarettes on you I smell fucking uh what's that shit you're raining I pedified juicy uranium uranium I smell uranium money I'll make up story you sure anymore I got no time for it I fuck you down the plane in my area with hummus I'm gonna report you to the authorities you understand me you're gonna find the air marshal they gave me a virgin gives you hummus yeah is american I think I don't think american ever gave me hummus and the virgin gives me fucking hummus what do you do I just don't even open I tell

her take it off my plate please because they give you a menu on virgin it'll say hummus I'll tell us and forget the chips and the hummus I don't really you don't want them no I don't want them and I suggest you don't have it I look at the lady next to my suggestion you don't have me because I'm gonna puke really I can't take it you eat the hummus I'm gonna puke after six fucking minutes and I just had a big breakfast they don't eat the fucking hummus I tell people right next to me right there I don't give a fuck you're not eating that shit don't even fucking think about it man I love it it's crazy oh my god I don't like these motherfuckers that walk around with half cup of coffee either drink your fucking coffee and finish it let's go

I'm the way these motherfuckers they get on the plane with a half cup of coffee then they fall asleep and I'm just staring at the cup the whole time in suspense after you fall asleep next to me I told the coffee cup out come here for a second take that coffee I'll even touch the fingerprints I don't I hate dead coffee get that shit away from me all together have you ever heard someone spill something on you on a plane yes no you have not yes coffee I think I fucking hate coffee I spilled it on me that had like a three hour delay I stunk like fucking coffee and I was furious I'd stain my fucking jeans oh no was it cold coffee it was yeah they put it on the fucking thing motherfucker I hate coffee like that I like I get my coffee I drink it pink paint by the way

thank you for teaching my family how to make you coffee we've been drinking that shit a lot lately I had to stop because of the sugar content too much sugar folks no sugar sugar on a daily basis that's good for a little treat down there but yeah that was strong that was I could drink one of those right now no you can't yes I can and be asleep in a half hour I will smoke a joint and eat a nicotine gum I'll be another planet with that coffee jack that's that Cuban coffee once that nicotine gum gets that cancer sugar you're fucking flying jack that's that's his cat's eye right there George Mazda vow what are you fucking nuts or what look at you rocking and rolling looking good looking healthy god bless you brother you're on your way this is it you worked hard for this all

your life it's so weird when the decision is right in front of you now it's all up to you now yes sir what do you want one of my marines sorry something like that yes sir me what do you think at least say yeah how are you doing buddy how's the blueapen diet what's been going on over there it's good and I actually uh I actually my dad's gonna try it it's uh he's pretty excited about it's it's been going great I love we just finished our last one we did uh what she Paul made tacos the other night tacos look at that what flavor were they uh they were just beat they were uh just beef tacos and they had a little radish uh salad on top uh and then she made a little sweet but there was a little sweet potato uh mixture uh with fries and like a

little bit of cheese actually it was nice very nice same yeah you miss your wife's cooking all her minds about fucking you can't wait to get home can't wait to get home uh overall the the latin food I miss it very very much you know being in Colorado I ate a lot of good clean food like broccoli and carrots steak potato things like that on a daily basis now when I get back I'm just gonna eat the usual diet how many times have you been to Colorado before this for training uh like three other times what do you think of Colorado in your heart love it love it I love it it's one of my favorite places in the country do you feel different when you how high up have you gone what's the highest city you've been you know you

weren't veiled you weren't veiled I was in veiled skiing yeah and Breckenridge um I did the highest peaks there in those mountains so whatever it was I don't remember the numbers but it was pretty high like 13 12 000 do you feel different when you're in those mountains fuck yeah man it's a different feeling it's a different air even the cold feels different yeah you know like clear it changed my bro when I went to Colorado I was blown the fuck away I thought New York City was this magical city and I was like there's no magic in buildings bro you know when you go to Colorado and you look around and once you go away from Denver you know man I'm thinking about it it's always open you know I'm already comfortable I was there for 15 years I'm comfortable I can be there the winter don't

kill me there there ain't no fucking winter there ain't no winter you want one other than I asked when I used to shovel snow other than snowmass village I liked it it's not that bad I've had worse winters in fucking jersey in the New York City than I had in Colorado bro it's known there's no humidity in the snow so it doesn't weigh dick that east coast snow they got last week people were dying that shit weighs 22 fucking pounds every school yeah because it's moisture in there as your motherly oh yes it was really a lot it's really wet that snow back there Colorado like I said to you this week right now or next week is when they do a bikini finals and people ski in snowmass with a bikini on and they have to do a loop-de-loop and land in

a fucking pool wow who skis with a fucking bikini on it's because the low humidity in the water I guess and people got a tremendous suntan as you noticed yeah it's like going to fucking Hawaii yeah I'm going next week to Tahoe I can't fucking wait man well uh we we spoke on the last podcast that you were going to Denver a month earlier for a reason with your cubic with your coaches do you think that had any effect how did you think that paid off no it definitely paid off I went to Colorado Springs which is uh higher than Denver we edit I was there for about 30 weeks and then uh the last week of of the fight I went to Denver and what was your Cuban training consist of when you were in Colorado Springs what was there was any breathing techniques was there

were they breathing exercises I got the I got the book dropping in two weeks you got the book dropping I got the book dropping if you get it online it's cheaper 10% off got the book dropping in two weeks bars and nobles Walmart what's the name of the book I'm fucking with you okay no you never know no I'm joking man now um the Cubans just believe train hard year round you know and that's what we did we didn't really do nothing different you know I just went there for a month to get acclimated to the air so uh I mean that that's as far as I could have they told me five weeks before so in about a week I organized my training camp where I was going to be at and everything and then I took out for for a month exactly to to Colorado and I saw what

happened more times tapes and shit how's the running field oh it sucked in the beginning how long were you going before you had to stop and get a little dizzy did you ever get dizzy up there that's amazing yeah it's a different game the first two days it wasn't that bad I was like I'm in pretty good shape and I had been sleeping in the elevation tent already for like a couple weeks because I thought I was going to fight in Mexico November 5th so I still had that 10 and I used it for about six weeks so I thought oh maybe the scent did help by the third fourth and fifth day my body crashed like bad like my first day back in training it took me up to my 11th and 12th day my body started coming back into it by day number 21 is that when my body was

already like acclimated you know and it's crazy how that uh that chemistry that happens in your body happens and it's it's a science to it you know I had a friend that had a way he was a bicycle guy and this was way this is 84 he wasn't doing anything this is way before Lance Armstrong showing up with his bag of fucking goodies but he would go up there is new zealand high is that a high altitude new zealand let me check I know he lived in new zealand and then he come out this aspen and he get a job that is doing a chip chilson masonry and that would be his hot carrier for the summer at the end of the summer chip gave you a bonus and he gave you skis or something because he was a real world-class skier his trade was easy he was a mason guy

so this guy used to be like a bicycle guy and I thought he just rode his bike in on me though I don't ask questions he had the helmet and shirt and he had the whole gi the whole bicycle rider's gi with the type pants and shit just so happened this guy was a badass in that sport and I asked him how he got acclimated he was talking about every week he would draw blood because that's basically what you're doing right you're just making more red blood cells yeah so to acclimate quicker and stronger he would take blood out so he would have to double his load he said and the force 14 to 20 days he said it was hard but after that it just kicked in double like he felt it and then two or three weeks after that he was where he was at you know there's just uh you know people experiment

whatever the fuck they do no there's there's uh plenty of theories I think um from anywhere from three to six months is when you get the full benefits already depending on the person and I've read a lot of different studies the cubans believe that after like uh 21 days you're already good the american school from what I've heard they believe that at 21 days you start to get acclimated and up to six months you get all the benefits of somebody that's been living there for like 10 years would you consider just doing a training camp just for now on for everybody eight weeks for sure I fell in love with Colorado I know they're upset in Denver but that's a beautiful state over there I love that I'm considering moving and everything just to hold my training camps over

there eight weeks out 10 weeks out just because I have to to get those benefits you know and you you want to ski and I want to ski that's uh that's perfect yeah training and skiing I don't know how often I'll be skiing because I could get hurt but at least twice a week for sure listen man I used to ski a lot and knock on wood I did three seasons of you know getting up going to bed at six I'm snorting and getting up at nine taking a shower drinking fucking Irish juice and getting on those skis and I'll tell you what I gotta knock on wood and tell you not a thing how does that was a wild man bro because I saw people I had a bunch of friends there from Mankato Minnesota these dudes were dead devils and every three weeks you'd see one of them in the fucking cast so when I'd see

him up on the mountain wherever they tell me to go I'd avoid those motherfuckers I always stayed on the medium whatever the medium was I don't remember now it's been 20 years and I would do my three or four runs and once in a while I get cocky it's the people would ski off whatever they call that backcountry backcountry and all those guys that's where you cause avalanches that's where all that shit goes down it's cute but it really happens that's where you cause all the avalanches so I always just kept to myself I took falls I took falls I'm telling you me and my roommate we we hit the bag in those days we used to lift weights and in the mornings we go fucking skiing and not one of us no knee injuries no nothing if you bend your legs right and stuff and keep

your knees together and one stop and or the plow stop and stuff unless you start doing those jumps and when that tip gets caught that's when your knees start going bro that's why even at that age of 21 I wasn't Johnny surfer in fact there were times where you pick up some momentum Jack you're going a little faster than what you anticipated when you're skiing sometimes after like two or three runs you get your breathing up yeah and you're flying down that hill and you scare yourself I used to scare myself and make myself slow down and go into the side and start all over again oh I'd start cutting and weaving I don't know what the expressions are now I'm sorry people but listen I never got hurt like that if you play the game right of skiing and go in the

medium range and just say to yourself I'm doing four runs as part of my training hey this yeah I'm gonna do four runs on the last one to throw my skis in the fucking thing and go somewhere else and run for an hour and a half and let's warm up the knees like because you're like this you're really fucking warming up you're fucking going for it Jack yeah it's a great workout you know when you get to the bottom of the hill you sweat especially under that fucking thing oh yeah this fresh powder that sucks I can't handle it yeah I'm still learning I bet for the I bet for the people at home they're listening talking to me about skiing I used to ski the first time I skied they put 185s on me bro it's probably completely different now then I went up to 205s

or some shit and I was going out there everything I loved it and then I realized fuck skiing in the morning the drug dealers would get up early and ski in those days so I'd fucking shovel the snow watch them leave and then burglarize their house by the time they got back for lunch I already had an ounce of coke in my pocket they're up there ha ha and fuck them you got to be guarding the stairs if you're a coke dealer you got time to ski you know what I'm saying leave grandma at the house do something just don't leave the house fucking empty and then go skiing after you Burt you after you did that well this was before I left in 83 I was burglarizing all the drug deals because I knew I was leaving so I would ski some days then I skied all the January and I left February first

once I knew the cops were watching me I said fucking I just ski everything what are you gonna do George Mazda room I see big things my friend you gotta start yakking down calling these motherfuckers out and telling them to suck your dick and call you shorty you know what I'm saying it's all over now this is the new game now this is the new game they don't want to fight you don't understand they don't want to fight my it doesn't want to fight Magna of Sun got injured and uh I just I can't get a fight right now I'm I wanted the top five guy and I want to get in there soon you know I want to get the notice nobody's stepping up you know sit tight my friend I'm sitting tight shit's gonna go down something's gonna happen something's

gonna happen yeah especially at the 170 it's gonna get rocked up there pretty soon yeah all 155 those two are gonna be interesting to watch the next fucking year or two what are you gonna do me what are you going on this week I got fucking valentine's day a flappers I got the ice house with the boogaloo man rogan and some crew and Thursday I'm doing the store with fucking the skyla stone and the next week I'm in Minneapolis it's that simple very nice I'm at the house of comedy from the 23rd or 24th to the 26th you know me dog that's the grind what are you got going on that's the grind right there bro what's that you you got a grind right there but I space myself you follow me that's what doesn't kill me if I went out every week I wouldn't be

the same human being that's rough right there that's rough so I space myself I give her a bit of attention everybody gets a little loving the family the wife Lee you know when do I get loving when do you get loving look at your eyeballs in the mirror cuck second if I don't love you look at your eyeballs who do you think gives you that loving those eyeballs that makes them red two nights a week uncle joey why because I care for you absolutely right I could be giving you a sesquihana weed I give you a bad shit for your lungs you don't do that at all I could be giving you bogus fucking acid that's important recon man in this basement no I give me this shit the kids almost gonna blow up the basement when this kid shows up he's got three fingers he's

done the work you understand me let me get the sheets of paper you sitting there like boo the joe I got fucking uh did you eat that rice krispie did anybody eat that rice krispie rice krispie is delicious and fucking nutritious and I gotta tell you something vegan oh yeah yeah no this is real deal butter it'll fuck around over there at uh whatever that company is I ate that 100 milligram thing that my wife left I played with mercy for a little while she said she wanted to watch malata I said you gotta watch in your room she goes okay you gotta take a nap anyway she went in there I started scrolling through the channels there was a movie on lifetime I tell you about this I don't think so about a girl that goes to Duke University she owes $6,000 a semester so

she becomes a porn actress I heard I heard about that girl in life yeah and then she went out singing and then she went on these days the point is I don't ever watch nothing like that it was that 100 milligram fucking rice krispie tree that made me sit there like an animal and watch that stupid lifetime fucking movie so it's not a bad fucking edible that thing what Lee what how long in the movie is it it was probably two hours that I would have killed myself somewhere along the line thank god I turned it off after the 15 minute oh she was cute she was really cute and she was going on CNN they called her at school some kid some little chinese kid that was a friend came up to an after she was a porn star they did a pinky swear you know these fucking chinese people around

anybody he read it this fucking pulled a young girl out the college started throwing fucking bottles at her and she would walk by dormitories and they would throw boxes of garbage at her and then uh they wrote a school column paper and then and then she went on CNN to say she was justifying young women then she won an award at the fucking porn award then she went home the parents hated it's the same type diverse life but she didn't do drugs she didn't become a dick sucker she held on to her you know I'm saying the point of the story is that's how high I was that I watched that stupid fucking movie for at least 20 30 minutes and I kept switching back to it that's what really fucking had me but I actually gave a fuck you know I'm saying you got conviction yeah I was

watching that and something else I don't know what the fucking was but anyway who gives a fuck well sleep you're gonna sit there like buda johan not talking to me no no I'm talking I love talking to you my steeds everything all right look at your eyeballs they're on fucking fire tonight oh my god you don't even know what got you if it was the transmission fluid or it was the fucking I'm just happy that we ate all the little lunas at sunset herbal it made my day when I went there and there was no little none we ate literally all of them we had nothing for us tonight he even looked at me he goes I got this and he goes take some stars that's going to that's gonna get you but tomorrow we pick up the shipment of stars this is the one that killed fucking selie cruz

I'm saying this is the shipment that kills selie cruz tomorrow oh my we got some brownies in this mind I had some brownies running there right now tonight you go home eat a brownie put whip cream on it put in the nuker you have the thc alive and kicking in that motherfucker tonight get room service to bring some ice cream that's how you eat a thc brownie again these motherfuckers don't know how to eat they go to a weed store they take one of those cold brownies and eat them they taste like 10 dead dicks that's not how you eat a brownie you take that fucking brownie you take it home you nuked that thing for like 10 seconds and then you get some ice cream and put it on top and naturally melts the ice cream but the nuka helps it it gives it a momentum

then you put a little whipped cream on that motherfucker mixed with the thing with the brownie it's a different game though you think you're a dairy queenly it's a warm bun instead of a cold piece of shit all due respect to everyone who makes edibles it tastes like dairy queen until you get down to the brownie and then to the hard it's just a hard hot now just a hot hard brownie not if you do it the right way you take the fucking ice cream and you smear it around the brownie then you mix it all up together you know i'm saying you got to dope up the brownie fucking lee the thing you said i go you say i live through judge monsterville i put the cuban and everything you got to do something you got to mix the fucking thing

everybody in la if you go to la if you go to hollywood tonight and you're hungry at one o'clock they're gonna tell you to go to fat sales fat sales makes a good sandwich but it's not my style they make a sandwich and they just throw hand fries or those skinny fucking fries on it and they close the sandwich and they give it to you i don't like that shit when i eat fucking french fries on the sandwich you got to cook whatever the fuck you cook them with those potatoes so the flavor goes into it then when i'm the fucking thing i'm pretty high i gotta stop talking let me read our sponsors and i'll get you motherfuckers out of here lee let me talk to you about something on the up and up here what do you think of your uh distilled dstld jeans and shirt tell me i love

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church and check out to get 25 dollars off your first in-home massage on demand all right i love you guys i want to thank indochino i want to thank d-s-t-l-d zeal and i also want to thank my little brother george maz de val for coming on the show shit happens you know i love you but i'm very proud of you i'm very proud you came on tonight and i'm very fucking excited to find out who your next victim is you know i'm saying that's how i roll i'm so fucking pumped man i can't wait it's uh it's it's depressing for me when i don't have a fight i i get like anxious and stuff you know i gotta have something to look forward to and um my my eyes everything is only on the belt you know i'm saying in tip-top shape so whoever whoever it is it gets the calm ready for i'm blessing

my brother lee hit it cocksuckers i'll see you guys wednesday night don't forget about me stay black i'll see you next weekend at the house of comedy at the mall of america thursday friday saturday one show thursday two friday two saturday see you motherfuckers that i love you have a great week give me a favorite pre-mortem open that door so you can talk to me people play with love falling in love is just a game don't think i don't know what love you'll never be alone again let me show you how i feel be the one that i leave your love let me give you what is real be the one that i long to touch only you can make me feel this way i'll give you all come on let's get away

let's never ever never ever fade i'll give you more and more so let me be the one hold on to the dream let me be the one you can trust me anytime let me be the one anyone let me be the one to feel your touch the first time that i saw you there but i knew you promised me you will never leave because i will never let you go let me hold you close and do to me be the one because i love you so let me feel the need to give it to me be the one together we belong only you can make me feel brand new i can feel it in my heart your love is true and because i'm weak i want you still to do i want you more and more so let me

be the one to be held on to the dream you can trust me anytime let me be the one to give you all my love be the one be the one only you can make me feel this way i'll give you all come on let's get away except for that we'll never ever fade give me more and more so let me be the one hold on to the dream you can trust me anytime let me be the one give me more and more let me be the one let me be the one