Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #462 - Chris Herren and Jayson Thibault

Episode Date: March 9, 2017

Chris Herren, former NBA player, the focus of the ESPN 30 For 30 "Unguarded," and head of The Herren Project, calls in to talk with Joey Diaz, Lee Syatt and guest Jayson Thibault, comedian and host of the "Punch Drunk Sports Podcast," about his journey from the NBA to homeless, and how he turned his life around. This podcast is brought to you by:   Naturebox.com - Go to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first box.    Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 03/08/2017.
  

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of the most comfortable underwear you're of your own. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, shit. Wednesday, March 8th, bitches. The first quarter is always almost over. Uncle Joey, Lisa Yat, Chris Herron and my main man. Jason Tebow, real. Remember when this album came out? Fucking tremendous. This jam kicked it up. Lights out.

Like this meal, Lee. Kick this meal, Lee. Oh, shit. Here we go. Pop stuff is what? Lay back. Oh, that's as good as it fucking gets, Jack. We've been freaking today with the early rap shit. This came out like in 93.

Something like that. Yeah, early 90s. We had Big E on the first album. Jesus Christ almighty. What's happening? You bad motherfuckers. Welcome to the podcast, Ville. Uncle Joey's here tonight. My man, Tebow, was supposed to get a call, but what's happening, gentlemen? Anything good? I just wanted to wish you a happy International Women's Day, Joey. Oh, thank you. I know you've been talking about it all day.

Oh, fuck. I couldn't wait. I couldn't fucking wait. I should have got you a card. Oh, please. Did you guys march or anything? Not much of a march. You know, it's crazy because on these days, I used to go eat just to see if any waitresses show up.

They're all there. Yeah. They're all Spanish fucking Armenians. They're there. That's International Women's Day for people. Got a husband to pay him bills and shit. What does that even mean? What is it?

Who the fuck knows anymore? Who the fuck knows anymore? I wish them that good day and they have this moment in the sun. They go out there in parade. They talk bad about whoever. And what are you going to do? Everybody's happy at the end, but you got to cheer them on. I have a daughter.

You got to cheer them on. You know what I mean? If this is what makes them feel better, then go out there. You know, we're assholes, right? We get all excited about the Super Bowl. Two, I got lesbian moms and sister. I didn't hear a shit about this. They don't give a fuck.

They don't give a fuck. Like International What? What is this shit? Who gives a shit? Two lesbians playing maracas walking down the street. Who needs that shit? You know what I'm saying? Fuck that shit.

Hit the tambourine. We'll hit. But everybody's got a cause. Everybody's got a purpose. So God bless them for even fucking being involved. Was supposed to be watched. I saw it 30-30 about a month ago. I was in my house, just sitting there.

And what was it called? ESPN show. Yeah, unguarded. Unguarded. I just saw unguarded and I figured it could be fighting or basketball. And I put the fucking thing on. And it's this fucking white kid from Boston just killing motherfuckers in basketball. My style of hoop.

Taking it to the hoop, challenging bishops, fucking around the back moves, passes. Nothing but heart. It's a different type of game. And he ends up going to Fresno State. And I guess while he's at Fresno State, there's a couple fucking rumors about his drug use. I don't exactly know what the deal is. He doesn't go high. I think this guy's great.

He goes somewhere and he rips it up for a while. But he's eating pills. He meets his dealer. Yeah, it was really interesting because he had these issues. He went to Boston College first. Like first he went to BC, had issues there. And then when he went to the NBA after Fresno State, he had these two veterans who wouldn't, who like he said, took him out every night of the year.

And he was sober like his entire rookie year in the NBA. So it was his best year ever. And the part that really took me about this document, because this documentary, I love everything about it. I love everything about it. It makes me think of Boston. And the one thing that his brother says in there is fuck the Celtics. Because it was 10 minutes from where he grew.

I don't know exactly how long, but it was right where he grew up. He knew everybody. And to hear them say that, when they're so, everything about Boston and about these people is go team and hometown and just to hear them say like that ruined his life. Playing at fucking home is tough. It's tough. Doing anything at home always sounds good on paper till a week before the fucking gig. Yeah, right.

Then you have to disconnect your phone and you got to stop because, and it's distractions. They don't understand it. They don't know that, that world, you know, when you call me and go, where do I go get tickets? You're a fucking adult, right? You know, you go down to the fucking box office and you go buy the fucking tickets. It's that easy.

You know, where do I stay? Where do I park? Do I live in fucking Cleveland? I don't fucking know. You buy don't know. You're fucking parked close to, you know, they, that's what I'm not from Cleveland, but I'm just saying that usually people will ask you that shit. Like, where do I park around the club?

You live in Ohio? Yeah. And what the fuck are you asking me for? How about a parking spot? I go there six days out of fucking 365 days. I don't even, I don't even know what the parking fucking meters are. I don't know nothing. Right.

But when I go to Jersey, it's like, oh, they act like I go there every weekend. Right. Like we're having this party in Fairfield. Listen, I don't know where Fairfield is. Right. Yeah. Take the 440 to the 820. I don't know none of these things.

I know the 405 and the 101 and I avoid them like the fucking Blake. Okay. That was my mistake today. Yo, no, it's a fucking, now where do you live? Like Hollywood, like Santa Monica Western, neck of the woods. Yeah, that's deep in the fucking murky. So like East Hollywood, but you, when you factor that I to come do this podcast, it's about six miles away, 50 minutes to go six miles.

When I got in the Uber, I was like, you gotta be kidding me. It's so close, you know. And you're just sitting. I mean, when they built these freeways, they just thought they'll never be too many cars for these 10 lanes. Well, this is not only here. This traffic exists all over the fucking country. I went to Texas recently.

They had traffic, not just traffic, traffic. You know, New York City, I said it a thousand times. I can leave Seacawk, New Jersey at 10 to 8 in 1993 and be in the city by 5F to 8 in the fucking city on 20th street and fucking 8th Avenue. 15 minutes. 15 minutes. Not anymore. Not anymore, bitch.

Not any fucking more. You know, and it's a, it drives me crazy. Like especially in Los Angeles when people go, oh, it's meat. How about 430 at Fort Street in Santa Monica? And you're like, listen, I got bad news for you. So that's never gonna fucking happen. And I like when after a month that I know them, they go to me. I live in the valley and you're like, then just meet me for an early breakfast.

Right. In the valley. Why are we both staying here till 4 fucking 30? You know, it's like people think that, uh, and this is no lie. These guys will sit here. A couple of weeks ago, somebody called me, hey, would you help me pitch? Yeah, I'll go down and help me pitch the show. You know, again, I agree.

And all of a sudden I get a call a week later. It's 430 on 3rd and Santa Monica, like MTV studios or some shit. Right away, you know you're dead. Well, you know that it's like, okay, so it's at what, 330? That's an hour in, hour out. So no, no, no. It's an hour 15 in that 430 and three hours out because if you're on fucking Wilshire, you still got to get to that 405 entrance and that moves like the dog.

I was at one life for an hour. I was at the same life for an hour. I brought two joints. You know, I got serious radio, you return calls, you do all that shit, but it was an hour. And I could get mad, but there's no reason to get mad. There's nothing you could do. Then you get on that fucking 405. I don't have to tell you the 405 tomorrow.

I got to go to acupuncture. I got to be a Marina Del Rey at 12. That's the best time to go. And even then it's packed. Me, I get the crib and I put one of my daughters teddy bears in that motherfucker and I wrap it up and I put a blanket on it. Like it's a baby and I get in that HOV lane like, oh yeah. Like I'm president.

That's great. I had a guy I used to work with who would just put a sweatshirt on the back of the seat and then recline it because he was coming in at eight in the morning. They just assumed someone was sleeping. No, no, no, I ain't got time for that shit. And if you got, listen, I don't have time for that shit no more. I really don't. I lived here 20 years.

I paid my dues, all those commercials and Bundy at 515 to walk in and say hello and get back in your car. Now you're in hell. Like Pico Bundy right here. You're in hell. You're in people. When I tell you you're in hell, you're in hell. When my agents call me and they tell me they want to meet me at 430,

I just don't touch Hollywood that week. I don't get, I can't go to Hollywood. I cannot go to Hollywood. And I do not touch Hollywood. And I only go like tomorrow. I got to go down there for dinner. I leave my house at quarter to six. I get down to where we have to meet at seven.

I got a spot at nine anyway. Right. That's how you do it. You gotta lump it all together. Yeah. I lump it all together. If I'm going to be in this neighborhood, let me know. Let me shoot it.

All this shit I got to do. I called the doctor the other day. 830 appointment. That means I'm out of there by 930. I run over, get some breakfast because he checks my blood pressure. He takes some blood. I go over. I sit at that fucking place where Jack's Teller used to go to breakfast 10 years ago

and eat that place. But Lulu's on one on whatever. And I fucking from there, I go meet this guy. I go meet that guy. But the boundary is one o'clock. You got to one o'clock because at one o'clock I'm shooting right over Laurel Canyon. And that's even bad already. From four to nine.

You're dead. From four p.m. to nine p.m. And people, I know you're listening to this going, Joey, why you want, no. It's time. It's not about whining. It's about time. It really is about time. And let me tell you something.

This night I get home and I'm watching the news. And all of a sudden they go, go to the 170. I tracked the trailer pulled over. These people have been in traffic for a week, an hour and a half. You think of all these people who worked hard all day. And they got to get home to help their kid with homework. God knows you're starving. You got to pee.

All of a sudden some fucking tractor trailer pulled in. It just never ends here. And two weeks ago my friend was stuck for two hours. Losing in Burbank. All for fucking Barham. Damon, the truck, remember the day the guy wanted to kill himself on Hollywood Boulevard. They shut everything down. The guy was going to threaten to jump the bridge.

Listen, at two o'clock that shit works. I'll come over. I'll send the psych at five o'clock. You got to shit. I'll get off the pot, guy. Either jump off the bridge or we're going to shoot you in the fucking head and then you're fucking diseased right now. Yo, you have a small window.

Yeah, you have a small window. Kill yourself already. You're fucking with people on Hollywood Boulevard in the 101. That week was also the week there's a stupid premiere. Again, when there's a premiere in Hollywood, it's like on fucking, uh, a Hollywood break. Highland, Highland. So they close from Highland to fucking Fairfax and the other way, guys.

So here you are. You have plans just to zip into something and all sudden there's a fucking detour that sends you way back a mile and a half. It's, but not only you, everybody. Oh, now you're there for a fucking hour and a half. It is something that after a while you go, I'm not doing this. No, like I've cut meetings. I've cut.

No, no, no, I'm sorry. I go to Jiu Jitsu at that time. I heard a thing that the population of Santa Monica, the city Santa Monica, doubles from nine to five Monday to Friday. Easily. Easily. That's where all the TV was. That's where all 90% of my TV jobs were.

And the frustrating part about that is there's a lot of people who work at night. So you think, oh, it's going to be great. I'll skip the traffic. No, no, they have, they, they close down the entire, there's always construction on the 405, but there's never any construction workers. I don't know who's there. They put cones out and they leave and then the best part is like it's nice. Sometimes they only close down two lanes through three lanes.

I've had it happen before where they closed the entire freeway and then imagine it might not be a lot of people, but all those people just on Sepulveda trying to go over the hill. I've had to take an hour at two in the morning before it like it's, and then my favorite time of year with you, Joey, and you're not a mean person, but you get so much joy calling me around Christmas when there's delays at airports, just because you won't go there anymore. I will not go there. I got it down to a science after November 10th.

There's no flying for these. To win. To November 10th, you go no flying. No flying to East coast. Tempe. After New Year's, then you're back. After New Year's, two weeks. Okay.

After these assholes all get home, the jingle jangle stops, the drama stops, then I start flying again. Let the, let the fucking airport people take a breather. Let them, it's a beating. They got a beating over the fucking holidays. Horrible. I sit there every night calling Leah 530 to look at those fucking maggots at the airport. Look at those maggots.

Look at them. How stupid can you fucking be? Every year they show people are stranded now at the airport. I don't know what's going to happen. The computer went down. Go fuck yourself. That's what's going to happen. You're on a military car tonight.

Next to some fat fuck like me snoring with sleep apnea scratching. There's nuts farting all night. That's what you get for flying over the holidays. After November 10th, there was not one plane going fucking eastbound for me. I don't give a fuck what story you got. Now when you fly west coast, like would you fly to? Yeah. Sacramento.

I do all that. Yeah. That's what I do. Okay. Look at my schedule. You ain't crossing the Mississippi. New York the first week of November and it's over. I revined Sacramento the first week of December.

Portland the last week of December when fucking, when right through the two days before New Year's. Let somebody else work New Year's. I don't want to work New Year's. New Year's. I work close to the house. Eight o'clock show. I'm home by 10 o'clock in grace with my wife at midnight.

Right. I don't want to bother nobody. That was the last fucking New Year's I worked. You're petting a cat. You're petting a cat. Yeah. Ten o'clock in the no-moss. It's over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a 730 show with Uncle Joey. You could let Lucid 10 go home and give your wife a stabbing and be in bed by midnight. Nobody gets their feelings there. Right. I'm too old to be out there fucking 1130 cutting down pee. Fuck you.

Exactly. Two weeks in January then I start flying. The plane tickets go down drastically. Oh, of course. So that's when I go to Buffalo. I go everywhere cold. That they got nothing else to do but come see Uncle Joey. You following me?

So, yeah. Imagine if it was sunny. I'd still love to see you. No, fuck you. It's fucking. That's why you don't go out in the summer that much. Not in the summer, but in the spring. That's when it's bad because people can finally get outdoors.

They're like fucking. The spring is good, but the summer people go on vacations. Yeah. They go camping and they want to scratch their pussy. So I don't blame them. I want to get that. And do outdoor shit. They want to do outdoor shit.

They've been stuck inside for seven months. How's the sobriety doing? Good, man. Good. Straight and narrow. Yep. Straight and narrow. What's that?

Feeling good. Feeling good. It's always a struggle for anybody. And we were watching a little bit of this documentary before where you're like, it doesn't discriminate. We're looking at this guy in the NBA and he had everything going for him, but it's like, dude, it doesn't matter.

You could be rich, poor, black, white, Puerto Rican, Mexican, man, woman, straight, gay. It doesn't discriminate. You know, it doesn't discriminate. You know, it's like, I just got to be about today. And when I can do that, I'm good. When I start, you know, I said this before that, I remember when I first, the first,

my first run at getting sober, I was sober for like three years. I remember day one or day two, I'm sitting there thinking like this. How am I not going to drink at my daughter's wedding? I ain't got a daughter. I ain't got a wife. If I knock some bitch up at the end of that AA meeting, I'm freaking out about 22 years in the future.

You know what I mean? We're like, ridiculous. It's a ridiculous concept, but that's, you know, but if I can just be like, dog, I'm just not drinking on Wednesday. It's Wednesday, I'm cool today. And then I'm good. Then I'm good, man.

It's crazy how you, we were reading a book called War and War and Art of War by Stephen Pressford. And he talks about a thing called resistance. Yep. I've read the book several times. Joe Logan gave me the book. And the funny, funny thing about the book is that there's resistance, then there's drug resistance.

And Lisa, you've never had a conversation with Mr. Drug Resistance. Mr. Drug Resistance is the guy who talks you out of pain or rent. He's the guy who talks you out of eating. He's the guy that talks you out of stealing your girlfriend's engagement ring and pointing it. That's that guy. That's a, that's a different fucking animal. That's the guy that says, you know what,

get that ounce of coke, front it, go sell a quarter, get 500 dollars, and snort it with that girl and eat her ass and be crazy. That, that's, that's a complete different resistance. That's the one, you know, I was talking to Timmy Holloway last night when we were talking about the mind of an addict, you know, people go, oh, you improved since you stopped doing coke. Sure. Because you cut out 40% of your mind and put on how you're going to get high.

Oh, here we go. Mr. Chris Herron. Yo. Joe Diaz, you're a savage. What's up, brother? How are you, sir? I'm good. I'm good.

Thank you very much for taking the time. I will not take a lot of your time. I was telling these guys, I'm sitting at home one night and there's a thing called unguarded. I'm sitting there with my wife. She's from Tennessee basketball. You know, I went to five star basketball camp back in the 80s. You know, I love basketball and, uh, you know, I'm from Jersey

and I'm from the white part of Jersey, but they really get down. You got to go to Camden and fucking Jersey city and all that. And I'm watching your footage and I'm fucking drooling. Right. I'm just fucking drooling all over myself. Like I'm like, who, who is this kid? I mean, you were taking it to the hoop. Like you didn't give a fuck.

And I'm looking at your foot. Yeah. I'm looking at Fresno straight career and the whole thing. But you said something that I'm a comedian of 26 years and you had me dying for 10 minutes about that you stole the car and you did the math and you were driving around seeing people. And finally the cops pulled Joe when you said,

thank God you guys are here. There's been guys chasing me. Chasing me. I had dogs barking at me. I had every, there was nobody there. That's a scary drug, man. You are, uh, one of the best motivational speakers for what we need today.

You're the best. Like you said, I don't give a fuck about this or that. I'm going to tell you my nightmare. That is just, just beautiful. I mean, uh, Thank you. What you're doing, I was, you know, I've been 10 years off a Coke November 8th this year

since I was 16. You know, I went to prison kidnapping machine gun, aggravated robbery, came out. We were talking about drug resistance. How you tell yourself you're only going to get high once a week. And I went from 32, 44. Good luck. Yeah.

Yeah. Good luck. I went from 32 to 44 saying to myself, I'm a functioning addict. I'll be fine. I'm just going to do an eight ball a night. Nobody will know. And here we are.

And I watch your thing and I'm just blown away brother. Well, I appreciate it, brother. You are an inspiration and a half. These motherfuckers don't know, you know, I'm sitting here going, how was a Boston Celtic on a corner in Sacramento? Hmm. Sacramento, I was in the desk though,

running down the highway. Never mind that. What about Modesto? I was, uh, you know, I was on my way to pick up my kids. Thank God I never made it, you know. The flip side to that story is, you know, my kids were flying in from Boston

from Boston to come see me, to come move out. And here's my wife. Here's my two kids. Um, all excited, uh, you know, and to see their dad for the first time in a while. And I'm supposed to be at the airport with, you know, with presents and flowers for my wife.

And they get off the plane. And I'm nowhere to be found. They sat in front of that airport for hours waiting for me to pick them up. Uh, and I never showed. And I'll never, ever get that back. You know, I'll never be able to erase that memory out of their head.

How are you doing with your family today? Huh? You're good with your family today because that towards the end, you talk about your son and family. My, my son's a little scared. He's 17. We just went and visited Yale the other day.

Um, you know, my daughter, she's 15. She's, she's the best. She's my ace in the deck. Um, you know, and my youngest who's been so, who's grown up in a sober house is a complete savage. So, um, you know, we're good. We're really good. But and how great is your fucking wife, dog?

You could shoot her in the head and the bullet would go around her. I mean, she is a saint. Yes, she is. She is a saint. She hung on to dear life and, and, you know, but the thing is, is my wife knew me before drugs took me. And, uh, you know, she knew who I was deep down inside.

You know, a lot of us, you know, we go on that road and it changes us. And, and there's people who knew us before we were on that side of the street. And, uh, you know, they want us back on the other side. And she waited till I found my way back. And, uh, you know, I'm lucky for that. But, but I tell that, I tell that Modesto story.

I tell that story about being on meth for five days and seeing people and hearing dogs barking at me. Um, because, you know, when you get sober and eight and a half years sober, I look back on that and I see my kids on that sidewalk at the airport. You know, I see them waiting there for me. But, uh, you know, eight and a half years sober, you thank God you never made it.

You know, I would have horrified those kids if they got my car with them. You know, it would have been 10 times worse if I was there to pick them up. Now you're, you're from Boston. Are you Irish brother? Oh yeah. Irish Catholic to the end.

I'm from Fall River. I'm from Fall River. I'm from Fall River. Yeah. Yeah. You can't say Boston. I'm from Fall River. I mean, people, people will be all over me, right?

No worries. Now your family's, I mean, four overdoses, Chris. You wake up in the morning just like me and you look up and you go, God, thank you for another fucking day. And we really mean it from our hearts. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you think about it, right? I mean, listen to eight and a, for eight years, I shot Harold, right? I spent 25,000 a month on Oxycontin when I was playing professional basketball. I was taking 1600 milligrams a day of 80, 80 OCs. I chased death and paid for it every single morning for 10 years straight.

Chased death for a feeling, man. That's what we do. That's how sad we are. That's how sick we get. That story about you and the dealer coming to the fucking Boston garden. My jaw dropped and I've done everything. I don't give a fuck and my jaw dropped.

Yeah. Yeah. You can't. I mean, what am I going to do? I can't play in the game. If he doesn't come, I can't play. There's no doubt about it. My body's not going to respond.

You know, listen, I've walked into arenas in college, you know, after being up for 18 hours doing coke all night, you know, but there's no feeling, you know, like coming off opiates. There's no feeling when your body starts closing down and shutting down because you're breaking down because, you know, you don't have 1600 milligrams of oxys in your system. I've never woken up in an ambulance.

I mean, Chris, I admire you from all angles because so much has happened. I mean, it was, I mean, waking up in an ambulance. Are you fucking kidding me? I would, I can't see needles. So I would automatically, that's the only reason I never shot dope, Chris. I snorted it. I never shot it because I couldn't, I couldn't, I can't see needles.

Yeah. I mean, there's a time in my life I couldn't see them either. You know, I mean, there's a time in my life I used to look away when I'd get physicals and I'd hold the nurse's hand and I'd let the doctor do it. You know, then all of a sudden I became a doctor. You know, I became the doctor. I became the professional. I became the nurse, you know, and I never saw it happen to me either.

It came from out of nowhere. But once it happened, there was no, there was no going back. Chris, can you talk about the story about falling asleep behind a 7-Eleven? Because that just, to walk out of the hospital, if I'm remembering the story correctly, get a soda and then just to, to, to fall asleep. Like I would never think to just sit down and fall asleep. Like that's, what were you going through at that time? So I had been up for four or five days and

when the Modesto police found me on the highway, you know, obviously I was hallucinating. I was in sleep deprivation. My heart was pounding through my chest. So before they took me to the Modesto County Jail, they brought me to the hospital to take blood as well as shoot me up with a bunch of Benadryl and, and, and drugs to, to control my heart rate and, and calm me down. So I spent the night in jail in the Modesto and I walked out the next morning and

I'm walking down the street and I got nothing, you know, and I got like 10 bucks in my pocket. You know, I know I'm sober enough to know right now what I did to my family. Uh, and I'm just wandering the streets of Modesto and I, uh, I walked into a 7-Eleven. I bought a soda and I walked behind it and I was still drowsy from the medication. But I said, fuck it. I'll sleep here. You know, I mean, I can't go home.

I can't look at my kids eyes. You know, what are they going to say to me when my son looks at me and said, daddy, how come you didn't get me at the airport? You know, um, so I slept there and I was, I woke up to homeless men. They woke me up and they thought I was dead. They, they thought it like happened on me like, are you okay? And I woke up and, and I got up with them and I started walking around with them and we sat outside a little liquor store and we started drinking and, uh, you know, I told them, I told them my story

and they were like, you got to go home, dude. You know, you got to go back. And, uh, and I got back. But yeah, I mean, I've been in worse situations than behind a 7-Eleven, you know, um, but, you know, that was a pivotal moment in my life and my family's life. Because, you know, if those two homeless dudes didn't tell me, hey, man, you know, don't spend that last two dollars. Go to the pay phone.

You know, don't drink that beer. You know, call, call, call and get a ride out of here. Or what did God send? I don't know. You never know, you never know where you'd be. What's your life like today? My brother, eight and a half years sober. You saw, like me, I, I, I, when we're high, we're looking for a rainbow.

But once we get sober, we see the fucking rainbow finally. Like, yeah. How's your life tonight, my brother? It's good, man. It's good. It's the greatest gift I've ever been given. You know, my recovery is the greatest gift I've been able to give, you know, for the last eight and a half years, I've been the same target.

And there's no better feeling in the world than being the same dad 24-7. Knowing where I came from and knowing the person that I was eight and a half years ago, to be the same father, to walk in the house, to eight and a half years straight, that's all the kids want, man. You know, I grew up in a house. My dad was an alcoholic, you know, um, you know, when you grow up in a house like that, you never know who's coming home. You never know what mom and dad are going to be like.

You never know what's going to happen. What's going to jump off that dinner. How things are going to, how, how things can take a terrible turn in a matter of second. Um, my kids don't have that in their life anymore. You know, I'm not, I'm not stealing their X box. I'm not taking their Christmas gifts. I'm not returning birthday presents. You know, I mean, I did all the dirt, you know, all the dirt you can think of.

I did it. I'm not proud of it, but I wake up every single day and every single day I commit to staying sober. And I know when I go to bed at night, that's one day further away. From the worst day that my kids remember. And that's what it's about. Chris Harron, they don't even make them like you anymore, Doug. We live in a land of, you faced it, took it by the balls and here we are, man. Like I said, I watch a lot of, you know, I do comedy at night.

I get home, I unwind with those 30 for 30s. Billy Corbin has been on this show a few times. That was one of the best 30 for 30s, if not the best one I've seen. I mean, not as much as just looking at your eyes, brother, looking. I could see your fucking soul when you were talking. I'm a street guy like you, you know, like I told you, I used to live in a rocket ship in North Bergen, New Jersey at the park. I'd wake up the kids yelling at me, get up your fat fuck.

So I've been there, man. And what you did is tremendous. I loved the family support you had your wife. Like I said, I'm thinking of sending a two dozen roses out of respect because they don't even make them like that no more either. These broads today, you give them chlamydia and they split. You know what I'm saying? This wife of yours is a tank.

Send them my love. And if you ever come to California, please look us up. I'd love to buy you dinner and bring you on the show, man. And you know, Jason Tebow's here. He hosts the sports podcast on Tuesdays. He's in the program. That's why I had him here in 10 minutes before you called. He said the same thing about committing to the day today.

Who gives a fuck about Tuesday next week? I can't, I can't even think about tomorrow. I was saying today, yesterday I was saying that I was at a speaking at a meeting and I was saying that here's what addiction to alcoholism looks like in my head. I will spin out mentally about not having something to spin out about. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like everything's fine and that causes me to spin out because everything can't be fine.

You know? How many meetings do you go to a day now, Chris? Huh? How many do you go to meetings every day? Are you having? Yeah, I mean, I can't say, you know, I'd be lying if I did, if I told you I did because I travel so much. I do about 250 events a year.

Wow. So I'm on the road a lot. You know, like right now I'm in a hotel in West Virginia. You know, where, you know, I'm meeting kids who come up to me and they're crying and, you know, they've been molested by their dad, you know, they're being raised by their grandparents. Brothers in jail because they raped the sister. You know, like a lot of pain, man. A lot of pain doing this and talking about this.

You know, a lot of people open up to you when you're willing to share it. Uh, you know, it's, it's, it's not an easy thing talking about it, but it's a necessary thing because it, it inspires people to tell their story. And I think we all have a story and there's nothing wrong with it. You know, there's nothing wrong with it, with it, if you embrace it and, uh, and fight it. Um, you know, people often ask me like, do I miss basketball? You know, do I miss playing the game? And, and I wake up every fucking day playing the biggest game of my life, man.

Every day I wake up and I got the biggest game of my life. I got a performing and that's staying sober, man. So I work my ass off to keep it. I travel with sober people. I surround myself with sober people. I hang out with sober people. That's who my network of people are, you know, so, um, I go to meetings, uh, you know, I have a sponsor. I do my service work, you know, I collect my chips.

I give out chips. I'll make coffee. I'll set up the chairs. I'll do whatever it is to keep what I have, man. It's, uh, it's a blessing and it's because of people who did it before me. You know, I mean, if it wasn't for them, there'd be no program. So I'm, I'm, I am, I embrace it. I remember going off to deep in an 85 fucking just living in a park.

The whole thing and a school teacher took me to a meeting and I sat there just like you at 21 thinking I had the world by the balls and like Newark, New Jersey and a real fucking AA meeting and, uh, sitting there going, listen to this 35 year old fucking loser, you know, and not paying attention, thinking I knew all the rules. And the reason why I fell in love with you is because there's a lot of people on, you know, we cover addiction on here of pills and stuff. And now I never heard it put the way you put it. And I wish that they get something out of you just in case they didn't see your documentary.

You don't know anything about you because you blew my mind brother. Yeah. Now it's, uh, you know, it's something that, listen, I'm proud of my recovery. I really am. Like I embrace the shit out of it. Like, you know, I can look back on all the things I accomplished in my life and there is no greater accomplishment than what I have today, you know, and, uh, and I love it. And, and, and it's, and something that I'm, I'm all in on, man.

Like, you know, I'm on, you know, I'm on the front lines of this with kids and, uh, you know, this little girl stood up in my assembly the other day and she said, you know, Mr. Aaron, I want to thank you for coming to my school. I wish my mom got what you have. Um, you know, my mom just went to prison for 14 years because she was selling me on the internet from the age of eight to 13. You know, when you meet a little girl whose mom was dropping off at motel rooms for five years to support her addiction, you know, like, you know, you're in the, you're in the thick of it.

Um, but for that little girl to say that out loud in front of a whole high school, um, you know, that's a moment. That's a moment where, you know, it's her first step, you know, towards talking about it and, and owning it. Um, so, you know, when I, when I did this documentary, what's, what's really crazy about it is, um, you know, my, we were on food stamps, you know, we were, we, you know, we had the EBT card, my family, my kids, my wife, you know, we went from the Celtics to food stamps. And when I started that documentary, I didn't even know there was such thing as Netflix.

I didn't even have an idea. Like, I didn't even know what iTunes was. I had a flip phone. Um, I thought the documentary would play one night and it'd be over. You know, I had no idea how long it would last and how many times it would be played and how many people would download it and how many treatment centers and prisons it would play in. Um, but it's the best thing that ever happened, man. You know, because if someone can watch that and really connect with it, that's what it's all about.

Is there a web page where people can contact you or anything? Yeah. So I founded a foundation, right? Um, if it wasn't for Chris Mullin, I wouldn't be here. Chris Mullin was with Liz. Oh, shit. Yeah, they put me in treatment. Um, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here.

And when, when I got sober, I said to myself, if I could only give somebody what the Mullen gave me. So I started the heroin projects, right? And me and my wife used to put a little money aside and we'd pay for people's sober houses. And then the more people that reached out to me, I said, I got to raise money for this. And, uh, so the last five years we've put 1500 people in treatment. You know, we've put 900 people in sober houses. We have online support groups of family who's lost loved ones. You know, we have online support groups of families who have active children out on the streets using.

Um, you know, we, we, we've, it's amazing what the heroin project has done. And it's, it's gone beyond my wildest imagination, my wildest dreams. Um, you know, this illness doesn't get enough credit. You know, and, and, and I often say every person you call a bum, every person you call a junkie, they have a mom and dad that want them back, man. They have a little boy or a girl at home that want their mom and dad to be right at Christmas. So, you know, when you help one person, you can help a whole family. That's the, that's the, that's the fucking absolute beauty of doing this, man is you change kids'

Christmases. So the project is Chris Mullin. What is it? Heronproject.com or? Yeah, yeah, the Heron, the Heron project, the Heronproject.org. Um, so, so I'm not a person. I would do this fucking foundation if, you know, on my own, I'm not a big person like, hey, go, you know, like go here, go there. Um, you know, I'm telling people because they can use it as a resource. And if they have a loved one that doesn't have good insurance, that doesn't have money,

you contact us and we'll make treatment happen for you. We'll get it done for you. So that's what it's all about. Is there a donation switch right on the page? Yeah, there should be. Like PayPal type stuff? Huh? Can we send you money PayPal or credit card or?

Yeah, yeah, we got all that. We have, sure we got all that. Yeah, I mean, we, you know, we have, we have a lot of different programs. Um, well, we have a lot of people that run marathons for us, ultra marathons. We have marathon coaches. We have, you know, we got clinicians on staff, social workers. We got, we got all of that. Listen, man, if you ever want to do a comedy benefit in Boston,

yeah, I'll turn them in. I've never done any of that stuff. I'm going to do the Wiltern Theater next January or February, the Wilber Theater. And I will fucking donate a portion. I'll donate fucking the whole thing to you, man, because like I said, I don't even fucking get high no more. And you changed my life just with your words a few minutes ago. Well, no, I appreciate that.

But I really do. And like I said, we're brothers. I mean, yeah, no, no, we're going to send a donation in the name of the church tomorrow morning and get the ball going. And if, uh, please, you know, I know that they do the benefit for Cam Neely and all those guys. If you want me to do something in the Wiltern or something, you guys are in need. I will fly out. I will get some comics and we'll rock your fucking world because I think you're

a beautiful man and they don't even make them like you. I've had to hold myself back from crying like two times because sometimes I think I'm doing the right thing and I'm not doing dick compared to what you're doing. So I appreciate it, brother. I'm wearing this together and hang up. I look forward to giving you fucking. I look forward to giving you a hug. A big hug.

Bro, next time I'm in LA, we're going to make it happen. Yeah. But I still want to do that thing for you because I was also in a halfway house and I also was scared to go into treatment and I lied one time and put a fake name and treatment and I went in there and I thought they were crazy and I just did it on my own. You know, I one day look, didn't want my wife to find me on the floor. How I found my mother on the floor. I could handle it.

I'm from fucking Jersey, you know, the whole thing, but my wife didn't deserve to find the house. Her husband on the floor with a purple arm dead from cocaine. So I did this for my wife. How about this? I'm speaking in Pennsylvania. I need a mom last month who comes up to me crying and her daughter is high in the seat in the auditorium.

She's on Xanax and heroin. She said, I'm sorry for bringing my daughter like this. Can you come say hello to her? I walked up to the daughter. I gave her a hug. Her daughter was crying. Mom was crying and I'm crying. And then the mom says, you know, she's all I have left.

I said, what do you mean? She said, I already buried three kids before 22. She has one little daughter left and high on heroin in Xanax in an auditorium. And she's already, she's already had three females for three children before 22 years old. Look at this. Enough, enough, enough, enough, enough. Look at this whole Ohio thing with this fucking heroin. I mean, it's, I was just there.

You were just there? I was just there. I was just, I was just there. I was just in heroin last week. I mean, I was just in Ohio last week. I mean, listen, the city I grew up in had 13 overdose deaths in December in Kansas. You know what I mean? Come on, man.

13 people dying from one drug in one city in two months, 60 days. You know what I mean? Like, enough, enough, like, but see, here's the deal, right? Until we address, like, like when it comes to addiction and when it comes to kids especially, we put so much focus on the worst day. We present overdoses, deaths, coffins, funerals, car crashes. We show them the worst fucking day possible. What about the first day?

What about where it, where it begins? You know, why don't we talk about the reasons why this stuff has started? You know, and until we change the way we teach our kids, until we empower our kids to speak about the struggle that they're going through, they're always going to use drugs to forget about it. I mean, that's just the way it goes. I mean, if it's not trauma, if it's not genetic, if it's not pressure, if it's not culture, there's always something right around the corner for these kids to pick it up. There's always a reason, but we have to give them more reasons not to.

I think that's very well said, bro. I think that's very well said, what you had mentioned about, because what'll happen is people will go, oh, maybe I should start hitting meetings or maybe I need to go to rehab or, you know, my life's getting unmanageable and then you go in there and you hear a story about, oh, well, you know, I got arrested or I, you know, I did 10 years in prison or I, you know, and if you're not at that low bottom level, you're going to listen to this person talking, you go, oh, my disease just goes, hey, I haven't killed anybody yet. I can keep drinking and then using, you know, I need to hear that my life is unmanageable

when I'm drinking and doing drugs. I need to hear other people talk about that and not just have this like, hey, man, as long as you didn't kill somebody in a DUI, you're probably okay to drink. And that is not the case at all. Well, here's the deal, right? I got a 17 year old son, I got a 15 year old daughter, right? And I told kids all the time when I speak, they say, how do you handle your kids getting drunk on weekends? Now they get started in high school. And I say, listen, I'm a father in recovery and I'm still blessed to be at it. They haven't yet. But if they do, I'm not punishing yelling, taking away from them. I'm not interrogating them.

I'm not blaming some kids' basements at their party and I'm not focusing on their friends. I'm going to look them dead in the eye and I'm going to tell them how much I love them, what they mean to me. I'm going to ask them one question. The question most parents won't. I will not leave this bedroom until you tell me why. Tell me why my son at 17 years old needed drugs to hang out with kids. He's known that he was five years old. You tell me why, man. That's what I want to know. I don't care where, I don't care when, I don't care how, I don't care what. I don't care about any of it. I just want to know why. Once we understand why, we can start working through it. See, when I was 13 years old,

I figured out, you know, my why, because drugs and alcohol helped me forget, man. Same. That's what it did. Me too. It allowed me to forget. And once I figured out I could drink enough, smoke enough, pop enough pills, smoke enough coke, you know. Once I realized I can get it to a point where I can forget about it, that was, it was over. But, but like, we have to address why, man. We have to go at the root of this. And when it comes to kids, when you ask a kid, there was, I'm going to tell you something right now, man. I was a McDonald's All-American. I was ranked in the top 20 basketball players in the country when I was in high school. And there was never one night I walked into my house drunk or high. And I looked

in the mirror and said, I'm proud of you, man. I was never proud of this shit. It never felt right to me. Like I never went to bed with a, with a, with a piece of mind when I did this stuff. Now I'm drinking my father's beer. My father, my father's Miller life disrupted my whole father's childhood. It tore my mother apart. It caused them to divorce. Miller life was the elephant in the room in my house. And I remember being a little boy listening to my parents fight. And I knew exactly why they were fighting. I made a promise to my mom when I was like five years old, six years old after they fought one night. I broke that promise when I was 13, man. I started drinking my dad's Miller life. That's fucked up. And that's not normal

to be a kid drinking your father's beer that just broke your whole family to pieces. You know, I mean, that's the stuff that, that we forget about. That's the stuff that that we're not recognized in and not dressed into kids, you know, and, and, you know, when it comes to kids, they don't want to hear about the worst day. They know it. They don't want to hear about shooting heroin and overdoses and death. Just challenge them to be better than challenging on a Friday night to be able to talk to a girl without it, dance with a girl without it. You know, don't be scared to walk into that house party unless you've got a buzz on all these insecurities and self-esteem issues that kids face at a very young age, you know, stop running away from them with drugs and

alcohol. So I think, I think if we can get down to that, we can make progress. You know, Chris, there was a time when I was 17 years old, I would not go out unless I had cocaine. Right. If I didn't have cocaine when I was in high school, I thought it would have wasted, huh, what a, what a sad fucking state of mind that I missed parties. I missed things that normal kids did because, you know, I'm 54. When I was 17, that didn't improve for you. You could walk in, who the fuck proved you're 81 and 82? Nobody. So, you know, what a sad, sad state of mind that for three or four, I remember moving to Colorado when I was 19, just to get away from the blow in New York City. And I found it. When you're on powder, you're a fucking magnet. I found it in

Bussoff, Colorado. You know how big Bussoff, Colorado is the size of a fucking block? I walked the bar and there it is. And it's like, uh, you know, I started young. I want to know one thing. Do you think the percentages are higher? If the parents do drugs and alcohol for these kids to be exposed to it? Yeah, no doubt. Like I don't have alcohol in my fucking house. Like I don't, I don't even have, I don't have soda in my house. I have a four-year-old at this age and I knew, I saw the kids that I went to their house and the parents wouldn't be home on a Friday because they were at the Smith's house having a party, drinking. Then the next day I'd be there again, they'd be talking about their hangover. What the fuck you think your kid's gonna do when he's 15?

I mean, I grew up in an alcoholic household. I grew up in an alky, my mom was a functioning fucking alky. You know, my father was not. I became a functioning cocaine addict, you know, just like you. You could score 20 the next day. You talk about sniffing it out, sniffing it out. I sniffed it out in a one-night rant, man. Imagine getting high from a cab driver, a cab driver pulling up to your window at four o'clock in the morning because that's the only time he'd deliver the coat. He'd sit outside my window, I was on the third floor, he'd beat the horn once, come out and throw it up to me and then jump in his car and speed away. I mean, I can find coke, you can drop me in any city in this world and you give me an hour, an hour, I'll find it.

I've often said this, I've often said this about my alcoholism is and how much my disease is so much smarter than I am. And I could get $90 drunk with $6 to my name every night of the year. Every single night I've got with five bucks, I'd get $100 worth of drunk somehow. And in sobriety, I can't figure out how to pay a $100 sell bill with six bucks, you know, because I'm not addicted to paying sell bills. But I tell you what, you give me what I need when I'm drinking, when I'm out. Uh, it doesn't matter if I got $4, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. My disease will find a way to get me what I need and it's on somebody else's dime or I'm stealing it or I'm fucking hanging out with my buddy's bartender and milking up a fucking super tab.

But yeah, man, I'll find it. I can find it, no problem. You know, desperate, when you're desperate, you don't care. I mean, listen, they kill people and I ran stealing drugs. You know, I mean, I'm playing professional basketball and K run I ran and I'm sitting in my house and I'm doing blow all night long and drinking, beer bottles that come in, filthy dirty mud all over them, how they smuggle them in. And I mean, I ran doing this stuff. I was in Istanbul, Turkey, right? Midnight Express. And it's the only country I didn't want to smuggle, smuggle Oxy's into. And I said to myself, I'm street savvy. When I get to Turkey, I'll find them on the street. Couldn't find them.

Could not find them. Two weeks into it, I had a buddy of mine send me a package for mail. He didn't want to do it. He put, he double addressed my, my address and sent it to me. I got a phone call saying your package has been to rip it, but you have to bring in your passport and pick it up. And I'm saying to myself, if I go get this fucking package, I'm going to prison for the rest of my life in Turkey. I jumped in the car. I drove. I walked in the place. The guy asked me for my passport. I gave it. He went in the back of the room. He came out with my package. I almost fucking back. My package was wrapped in tape open. She handed it to me. I walked out. I'm thinking I'm going to get arrested. I made it to my car.

I drove away. I got down the street. I started ripping through my package. $5,000 worth of Oxy car. And what was, they were, they were in that package, but someone got to my package before it. That's a Turkey who knew who I was and wrote me a note. And they said, you're lucky that I found this because you'd be in jail for the rest of your life. Get your shit together for your family, man. They took all the drugs out and wrote me a note. If he didn't intercept that package, I'm done. But not to mention the fact, the level of desperation here I am with my two kids in Turkey and my wife playing in the yard and I'm driving to pick up a package that might put me in prison for the rest of my life. That's crazy. No, like we said, we were talking about the,

like we were talking about the war of art, art of war, whatever that book about resistance, how it affects your life as an artist when you want to start a project. And we were talking about how strong the drug resistance is, how fucking conniving and how it tricks you and how it talks you out of paying the rent and how it talks you that you're going to hit the lottery, you know, it talks you into all these false things to make you spend your last dollar, that you used to be a responsible person with a great credit rating. And here you are fucking, I've never figured these stories out on my mind, like how you could be one place at one time and one place at the other and the whole nucleus of the problem is fucking drugs.

True. You're not kidding. You know, they, you know, the city, I grew up and they told me I had to get out of it. So I got out of it and I got out of it by going to Boston College, right? And then they kicked me out of Boston College after six months and I flew all the way to Fresno State and I was at Fresno for three years and, you know, when it was time for me to go, they were telling me that I needed to get out of Fresno. And then, and then I went to Italy, Turkey, China, every country I ever played in, they said, Hey, I think it's time for you to go. I'm noticing a pattern here. Yeah, I mean, like it's wherever I am, I gotta go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was your rookie season again? Denver. Oh, Jesus, you were, you were a nugget for a while. That's my old stomping grounds. I went to college in Boulder, the time in Boulder, the time in Colorado. How was it playing in Denver? How easy was it? Oh, you, you stayed clean your rookie year, correct? For the most part, for the most part, I stayed clean. I ducked and died those veterans a couple of times. I, uh, it's a funny story. I was playing in Denver and George McCloud, who played for the Nuggets, who was an absolute fucking monster. Uh, he grew up in Florida and, uh, we went down to Miami

to play. And I guess now the Rolex in Miami, the strip club in Miami is, is like this big glorified strip club. And back then it wasn't, and I'm in the hood in Miami. And these guys, they're, they're watching me making sure I'm doing the right thing. And all of a sudden, you know, I throw a smoke screen one way and I get out. And, uh, I walked into the hotel at like four o'clock in the morning and, uh, and George McCloud sitting in a lobby waiting for me, you know, and he's like, what, what are you doing? You know, like, we're trying to help you, man. And, and this is how you treat us. Um, I had great, great people around me in Denver. Uh, Denver, uh, I cried when I got traded. And now here I am going home to the Boston Celtics and

I'm crying because I'm getting traded. That's how much I love the people that I was with in Denver. And what year were you in Denver? I was in Denver, I got drafted in Denver in 99. Wow. How different would your life have been had you not been traded to, uh, to Boston? I was, I had unaddressed illness, man. It would have came out somewhere. Really? Sure. I thought when you went back to Boston, it's like me going back to Jersey in 94. I just went right back to where I was and I knew it. I knew it before I got on the fucking plane. But again, that drug resistance is like, I handle it. I knew it. I was bound for fucking failure. And,

it's tough to do shit at the high everything. That's why I always got out of New York, Chris, because I could wake up at five going to New York, buy a gun and an eight ball like nothing. That's a scary fucking proposition, man. To know, to know at any time you have access to a gun and eight ball 24 seven. Hey, brother, I want to thank you, man. I never thought we'd get you to call in. I know you're a busy guy, man. This was, this was more than my expectations. You, you're the real deal. No, man, I appreciate it for real. I mean, it's, it's always good to talk about it. It's even better to talk about it when everybody understands it,

you know, and everybody's been through it. So, you know, we've never met, but we're brothers and I love you, man. I really do. And I can't wait to meet you. I really appreciate you all. No, bro, that's 30 for 30. I changed fucking lives, man. It's when I know when somebody's changing a life, you're changing a life, man. So, but you're like, Jesus, you got to give your own fucking life for 20 years. Yeah. So with my family, you know, yeah, that's all, you know, they, everybody gets sick around you. You know, you suffer, you suffer in your sickness, but so is everybody else. And and that's the best thing in the world is that, you know, I knew I was sober,

like really. So I knew I was really sober when I saw a sobriety in my kid's life. You know, when I could look into their eyes and see that peace of mind, that's when I knew I had something going. Like I said, anytime you have anything going or you need any help promoting or you want to put together the Wilber Theater, I'm here for you, brother. And I'll see you sooner or later. And I will talk about you and relink this for a while. Thank you very much, man. And God bless you and your family and give your wife a big, big hug. No doubt. I appreciate it. Sounding my love. Thank you, brother. Awesome, man. Later. I got to take a minute here. That was a heavy duty. Let me give some shout outs real quick.

My main man in North Bergen, Mikey Bartulovic, Brian Marshall, Twan F. Kennedy, Sebastian Criwalt, always a soldier. My main man, Lauren Rosenker, Aaron Byers, Daniel Pearson, Sergio Oliva, my main girl, Brandy Lynn. And as always, the fucking queen of the Twitter church defense, ookey, spooky. I know it's not Monday, but do you want to do I want to be around just to? Not really. Okay. Let's talk to people what he thought about this. What a great guy. I brought you to be on here as a co-host tonight. Sure. You're my addiction specialist. I've seen you in hell and back. You've seen me. Absolutely. In hell and back. No offense. And I mean, it's an all loving way, but I do remember a time maybe about 10 years ago

where having a talk with Ari, Ari and I were talking and we were really, really pretty positive that we were going to lose you. There was a point in time about 10 years, about a couple of years before you go, no moss. I'm done. I'm done. No, I know I was losing. Where we're like, man, oh man. When I do it, again, the worst thing that happened, it's not the worst thing that happened. It's what my mind did with it, was the longest yard and the results. Yeah. The results were not what I wanted them to be. So it drove me, it made me angry. It made me a lot of things and there was money so I could snort at disposal. And there was one time, I didn't think I was going to make it, but let's be honest with you. I mean, I was,

you know, when you're 400 pounds, you can't breathe up the stairs and you're doing blow and smoking three, four packs of cigarette. Your skin color is non-existent. There's not even blood going through your veins. There's no circulation. It was just a matter of time. So I'm very fortunate. So like when you're having that feeling and you're, you're thinking you're not going to make it, you're still doing coke, like you're still at, like later that night just doing coke, you just not care if you live or die. Like what is that like? It's a very surreal feeling when, listen man, in a micro sense, it's like, you know, McDonald's is feeding you somebody's fucking cat, but we still go in there. You and I both know that if you smoke enough cigarettes, you will get

cancer, but we still do that. There are so many things that we know as human beings that are bad for us, but we shrug them off. Like it's not going to be me. I'm never going to be that guy with the fucking organ in my throat because I smoked 80 fucking cigarettes. It's weird. It was a weird situation knowing that I had nothing left. Like I was just fading away to this drug because I was losing to it. And then I watched the movie Ray and I saw that he quit drugs at 64 and I said, there is no fucking way I'm going to do this till the end. There is no fucking way that this has to stop. And then I read that John Gotti had taken over the Gambino's at the age of 45. And I was 44. It was 2007. So I was about to be 45. And I figured for me to take over my world,

I'm going to have to do this sober. If I want to beat not a gangster, I don't want, if I want to have that much control of my life, I have to stop doing drugs. When you would call me and go, Joey, what are we doing tomorrow at 12? Yeah, we're going to write the script. As I was talking to you, I knew that you might get a call at 10 saying I had the flu. Yeah. Four weeks in a row. Right. You know, Lee and I always talk about how lucky we are. We started this podcast at six in the morning, the first two years. If I was doing blow, this podcast would last three weeks. Oh, sure. Any project. Three weeks. I remember my father died twice. I had a job where my, in a three year window, my father died twice. Were they like, didn't your dad already

die? You know, just one of my excuses. Like I thought your dad died like two and a half years ago. I'm talking my dad and fucking 35 years, but hungover. Just don't want to go into work. I'm like, yeah, I can't be there for a couple of days. My dad died. I got to go back to the funeral. Oh, yeah, of course, whatever you need, take your time, blah, blah, blah. Don't worry. Cut to three years later, I'm hungover, coked out, fucking fucked up again. Call the same job. I'm like, hey, I can't come in, but just found out my father died. They're like, your father died three years ago. That's how much you don't give a fuck. I had a friend, Glenn Conti, that worked for UPS when we were growing up. And every Friday he would call and

say his grandmother died. And one day they pulled them to the back room and they go, listen, man, we've investigated different scenarios and nobody has met, hasn't many grandmothers as you. Yeah. You've got 13 grandmothers. And all of them are dead. And all of them are fucking dead. It's, I still remember the last year that how I would cancel gigs that morning. You know what that's like? You know what that's like to go home? Road gigs, you cancel road gigs. Oh, that's a death sentence. How long do you know me? I mean, Lee, I'm leaving at eight in the morning. The cab's picking me up at 630. I'll be in Houston by fucking 12, beautiful weekend. That night I go to the store. Let me go

do a spot. Listen, now I would never leave tonight before. I'd have to do comedy. But that was my little test. Let me go do a spot. Sure. And on the way back, what's a 20? That's it. And I'd call him and he'd go, I don't have no 20s right now. I just got a 60 or a half eight ball. Ain't that always the case? You know what? Give me the half eight ball because the 60, I'll save it. I'll leave it there in the apartment for when I come back from Houston. Next thing you know, it's 545. The coke has been gone for three hours. I'm barely holding on. I can't even leave the fucking kitchen because I see shadows in the living room and we live in the studio apartment. So check that out. I would sit there and look under the door. You see that door jam? I would just lay on the floor

and look under the door jam praying that Terry wouldn't come out and see me. What about the night I locked the cat up? I locked the cat. I locked Fennie outside. No, I don't think I know that story. He kept knocking on the door and I thought it was the cops. So I went to bed and put the sleep apnea mask on and just laid there going, when are we going to kick the fucking door in? And finally, at five when the shit wore off, I went back to the door and who's out there? Fennie sweating. Like what the fuck's going on? The fuck is wrong with you? Let me out here for three hours. Yeah. I thought we were friends, mother. I was doing that type of shit at the end. I canceled Beaumont, Houston, Sacramento. I went up there and couldn't get coke on a Thursday night. I guess,

what do you think I did on a Friday morning? Yeah, I had a mystery audition to go back to LA. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Working with Gamer. Yes, I did. Yeah, it just becomes a priority. Went home. But I got home. I had money in my pocket. I had, as when I landed, I had no audition for My Name is Zero. I went, I booked it and that night I had to celebrate. I would do that shit. Oh yeah, I go to Sacramento 20, that was, you know, this happened 11 years ago, Lee. 12 years ago. Right. But, you know, it's forgotten. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Did you go back to Sacramento that night? Not really. Why would I do that? There was no cocaine there. Why would I go to someplace where I couldn't find cocaine from the wait staff the first night?

Which surprises me. Yeah, Sacramento. Yeah, that one night, that one day when I went up there, the guy who usually could get it, didn't work that week. That makes more sense. So they took me to a few bars Thursday night. Nobody had it. Nobody trusted the girl. They had to drive to the other side of Sacramento. Everybody was tied. So we just said, fuck it. I fucking stayed up all night scratching because at that point it was the tail end of the addiction. And I was like, if I could get home right now, I wouldn't. Like I was thinking about taking a cab home. I could make it to LA by five and get a pack. A cab from Sacramento? Shit. This is the resistance in your mind. You talk yourself into some crazy shit. That a cab riot from Sacramento. How come you didn't

really? I mean, you did a couple things past cocaine, but you never really stuck on them. It seems like a lot of people go and they always are moving forward in their addiction. How come you didn't do that? The needle stopped me, but I did end up doing the heroin that summer. That last summer I was snowing heroin. The needles didn't allow me to, but if the heroin really grabbed me, probably would have killed you. The heroin was it. Guys, June of 2007, I was doing heroin. Yeah, I was doing heroin. I didn't know that was the last summer. Okay. I was very quiet. I wasn't going to the snow no more. Addiction had not told me, don't go down there no more because it's bad down there. You're bad because you go down there. Really, I'm bad without the fucking store. Yeah,

people do it. Man, you got to quit. I'm like, dude, I'll drink at a fucking Ralph's parking lot. I'll drink at a fucking yeah. Ain't nothing going to stop me. Tell me where I can and can't go. I mean, it's just like, you know, heroin was saying when we were talking to him, he's like, you know, Turkey kicked out of Turkey, Istanbul kicked out, you know, Iran kicked out of Iran, Boston kicked out of Boston, Denver kicked out of, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You know, it's an inside job and as long as you're not handling the inside job part of it, you know what I mean? It doesn't matter. I'm not aware of that. I know that some of you people, you know, I'm not completely sober. When I say I'm not completely sober, I like to smoke my marijuana,

but I have 12 pack of Heineken in there. I avoid alcohol because that was one of my early triggers. You know, there was a time when I go out and I'd be fine until I drank four beers. And then it's called fucking Southern Comfort Norwiches. No, no, no. And if I didn't have a cup, I'd do a burglary. I'd walk around and go that coffee shop across from North Hollywood Park. I could kick that fucking door down and pick up the register and run out before the alarm even goes off at the fucking cop store. And I'll tell you what, I'm a petty thief. There's $60 in there and that register in quarters and dollars and fives. It's worth kicking in a $200 window. Maybe $20 in change in the bag. That's 80 Jack. That's a 60, a six pack and two packs of cigarettes

in my world. Did you ever have that? I know you've been to pawn shops and you sold things that you stole, but did you ever have the thing where you were selling your own possessions like Chris did? I sold everything, Chris. Believe me, whatever you name this. I sold every piece of gold I had ever. I would buy gold just to sell it. What is this noise? Sounds like a little truck. Fucking people gotta be backing up now. It's shit, 11 o'clock at night. Fuck suckers. I got engines running out there. Now we got to leave the door open tonight because it's kind of warm in LA. It's kind of nice. This beautiful week. Beautiful fucking breeze and shit. But no, if you're listening to the show tonight and you know you're struggling a little bit, I mean,

we all know. We don't try to address it, but we all know. I fucking knew all those years I had a problem. 100 billion percent. You all fucking know. 100 billion percent. So listen, man, try to take care of it. That's it. It's that easy and it's not that easy. It's that easy and it's not that easy. But taking the first step the first time, even if you fail, you're halfway there. And people always like, how do I know if I'm an alcoholic? How do I know if I'm an addict? You know. Well, if you if you blew ISIS last week at the club and you don't remember, you're a fucking alcoholic, right? If you sucked ISIS's dick at the club last week and you walk up and you thought you had hummus the night before, you're an alcoholic. That's how the fuck you know you're an alcoholic

when you black out or when you hear these type of stories that, you know, you sell your possessions or, you know, you don't go home to your kids. I got a second chance with mercy. I got a second chance with my wife. And I don't ever want that shit around me ever again, like ever again. I know what'll fuck me up. And at this age, I know exactly what'll fuck me up and what you want to take to Valium's and have a hemorrhoid on milk. I'm all in Jack. I'll sleep like a fucking baby. If you think I'm going to go searching for oxycutons now, you're crazy. I love Uncle Larry's fun pills. I love taking two or three of those and I'm in Vegas. But that's it. Right. And to me, it just says someone who hasn't luckily dealt personally with addiction.

They like it almost sounds a little bit like when you say two Valium's in a Southern Comfort. If you were doing that every night, I'd be worried about you. But you do that like once, every six months. It's like, no, but I don't even drink to something. No, I won't even drink. Right. No, yeah. I am so scared. I'll take a fucking Valium if you got one. Okay. Especially if I'm flying or something. Oh, Valium on a flight is the best. I won't drink with it if I'm on the plane anymore. Those days are long gone. I'm just too scared. We lost a great comic years ago on Freddie

Southern. He loved his Valium's and it was death by misadventure. It was ruled by alcoholism and it wasn't bad alcoholism is that he was eating Valium's drinking alcohol and he had sleep apnea. That's why you really got to be careful with sleeping pills and sleep apnea. So even if I haven't met the house, like sometimes I go to bed at 11, but I'm walking around at 430. That's going to ruin my day. I'm wide awake like Peppy the Pew. I'm ready. Yeah. Yeah. But the problem is at two o'clock, I'm going to be wiped out and I'm going to have a meeting. Well, I got a one. I'm going to write comedy. I want to do something. So those pills, the Dr. Gamy for that anxiety, I'll pop a half of one of those and fucking go

right to bed and you give me 10 minutes and I'm not being new until I'm jacked. And next, you know, the baby's waking me up. Daddy, wake up. Daddy wake up. But I don't, if I let my body sleep like it does, but I know I can't take a lot of violence. You know, at 20, if I had the sleep apnea I had now, I'd be dead. Yeah. I'd be dead because I hadn't, I'd go out at night and get drunk and eat 20 sleeping pills. And you know, that's the other thing too. It's like when you're younger, you're much more indestructive and you just don't really care. He's like, yeah, whatever. It's just, I'm just being 25. You know, man, you're much more indestructive, but look at all the fucking kids that are dying right now from this heroin. And I

have a friend that, and meth, meth is such an epidemic problem. I had a friend who called me a month before Prince died. You know what he said to me? Prince is next. And I said, what makes you say that? And he goes, because they landed the plane and they told you everything was all right. He goes, this goes back to Nevada when he, you know, deed in England and he came back and then we eat ice cream on TV. He goes, I could see it in his eyes. He was gone already. It's really weird. God sends you a little warning one time. And it's the people that owe D or the people that get locked up or go to rehab. Well, before you go to rehab, it's like me right now. The reason why I gave up Edibles for Lent,

I didn't know you did this. I know you're a big Edibles fan. Yeah. I gave them up for Lent because let's be honest. Why should me and Lee 2000 milligrams with fucking T8 say, I talked to normal Americans that eat 30 milligrams and then they see devils and unicorns and they'll never do it again. Me and this poor kid are in here eating fucking 500 million. I told the chicken per per radio today. I go, I could eat two of those transmission foods. Joey, a guy came in here a month ago said he ate a cube and he vomited for 12 hours. How the fuck are you eating two of those things? So you know what? We joke around and everything's ha ha he but something's not right. And that's why I went back to acupuncture. That's

why I started cleaning out my fucking adrenals again and my fucking, uh, my gallbladder because I felt that I had a little pain. If you want me to lie to you, I can't lie to you. I had a little back pain, but there was a couple of nights something felt weird in there and I'd pee and it'd be yellow, you know, it'd be glowing. And that's why you see me drink the amount of water I do. That's why you see me drink sugarless cranberry juice. Sometimes just to clean out. There's something else I got that I got online and now I feel pretty good. So let's give the edibles a break. This is what I wouldn't have done when I was 23. This is what I wouldn't have done at 32 or even 42. But by the time you get to be an old fuck, you understand the other time people have

to take breaks from breathers. So when I get back to the edibles, guess what I'm going to do? What's that? Start smoking. And you're just going to go edibles and then not? No. Once I go back to the edibles, I think the smoking is going to be gone. I really want to get to Jiu-Jitsu and really grow and not have a problem if there's an earthquake and I got to run down the street because Godzilla's chasing me. I don't want to be one of those fat fucks on the floor. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. So I think that that'll help. It's very hard to repair the

lungs, but it doesn't hurt to give it a try. I know that sometimes I smoke pot and jump rope and I can't do it. How long have you not smoked cigarettes? Couple years now. You love them. Never smoked a cigarette till I moved to Los Angeles. Myself as well. Never smoked a cigarette till the age of 30 fucking four. I was 31. 34 years old. You could not walk into a fucking room with me with a cigarette. If I went on the road with you and I found that you smoked, I would cancel the week because I didn't want to smell it on my clothes. I wouldn't date a girl if she lit up a cigarette. I thought if a girl smoked, the pussy stunk. It was the weirdest fucking thing. I didn't like cigarettes at all and I came out here and I noticed

people were smoking before they went on stage and I used it and I loved it. And then when you do coke, that's the candy of choice. Do the line and smoking right behind it. I did coke at first when I did coke. I was probably 31 and within four months of that, I was a packet a smoker. Within four months of my first line of cocaine, never smoked a cigarette before in my life, I was a packet a smoker. How long have you been sick so before now this time? All right. 26ish months, something like that. And how many meetings are you hitting a week? Right now, like eight. If you knew somebody right now that came to you and said, what do you suggest for treatment? I mean, listen, I know people go to 35 fucking rehabs. I know people who have

broken records for rehab. I don't know how I feel about rehabs yet unless the person is ready. He's had it. That's what scares me about rehab. That rehab is like prison. It cleans you up in 90 days, makes you take a little look. Yep. But then it throws you right back where you are. I believe, I think the percentages are better if there's a sober living environment. Yeah, usually that's what you want to do. That's what you want to do. Go from rehab to a sober living situation. I would hate to be there again, Jason Thiebel. I am so happy to be without that chain. That was, that was worse of confinement than prison. And that's what people understand that it was living in a prison.

My whole circumference of my life was surrounded by the who, where, how, and how I was going to do it. Yeah. You know, whether I came, whether it came, like right now, if I was still snorting coke, I would only go to the cities that got the coke. And whoever gave it to me for free and brought a lot of it, that's, I would be there every four weeks saying the same old jokes. And I'd be getting fucked up and going on stage and just talking to them and booing and getting booed because it didn't matter. That at that time, I OD'd and boom out from those volumes. They were booing me. What happened when you OD'd? I didn't know D as a OD, as an OD where I ended up in the hospital. I had 30 tents in three days. Jesus. So 100 tents,

100 milligrams of volume in a day when you're 400 pounds and you don't sweat and you don't drink water and you don't eat, right? You don't exercise. It's heavy. And I kept pounding them with you. Jager, Jager Meister. I fell asleep on stage the one night, laid on the floor. You know, who pays to see that? Right. Who would pay to see that junk? You know, Does anybody ever hit you up now and be like, I was actually at that show about a year ago? So really the story on the podcast and they said it was the very disturbing that they had gone to see somebody who had just been in an Adam Sandler movie and they went to see somebody who was just, I'll never forget being in Vegas

with Rogan and doing the 10 o'clock show and walking through the thing and seeing Artie Lang about to go on stage. And I did not know who he was. I knew he was on stern. I knew he was a mess. But I remember looking at him, not saying anything, not that I was starstruck. I just didn't have the right to go up to him. I was a feature act, whatever. But I kind of felt bad because I knew exactly what he was going through. And the whole crew he was with, it's not like when I used to go on the road with Chris McGuire, Rogan, and you know, those guys don't get hot. So you really couldn't catch it. It really wasn't as disgusting and despicable as what I had saw that night. And I love Artie Lang. I love what

he's doing on crashing right now. It was him, the Reverend Levy, and you could tell, I don't know if Levy did blow. I think Levy's in the program. But he was a mess. So I actually went to the door and he goes, you worked with Rogan tonight. Go in if you want. I walked in, Rogan went to Shoe Pool or something, and I sat up there the one night and watched Artie Lang. And I felt really bad for me. For you. Because that's what I was going to become. He was on stage, high as fuck, talking just nonsense. It was not worth the $55. I would have demanded my money back. But those people in the audience were just as fucked up and he had become, I don't want to go to rehab. I said, no, no, what was the name?

Amy Whitehouse. Right, yeah. He had become one of those situations. She was selling out shows just for people to go see how fucked up she could get on stage. I mean, that's, Charlie Sheen had that too. Remember when Charlie Sheen was like, I'm going to go into world tour and let everybody look at what a dumb fuck I am. Yeah, but he did two fucking times. I'm talking about Artie Lang was, you know, and I've seen people do it. I mean, look what happened. Towards the end, people were paying to see rehab chick, just to see the debacle. And it was the same thing with Artie Lang. You know, who else was doing that way before he lang? If you read his book and you hear the stories, Mr. Sam Cannes, when he, before he went deep pill, if you paid for

one of those tickets, you caught his openness and even his openness were on fire, but he would come out and it was a 50-50. He might talk, he might do great or he might just go up there and take questions and he did get booed. One new years in Vegas, something he did get booed. I got that book at the house. My brother Sam, it's a good book. It's a very good fucking book. And somebody gave it to me. I had read it in Seattle and somebody gave it. And I remember being at the store and going, listen, man, not that I'm Sam Canneson, but I'm gonna end up the same fucking way as those guys. You know, I had no other direction to go. Let's be honest. I was one of those guys that went to the store 30% to do a set that he didn't care about. And 80% was because

the connection was there. And I could get three for two. I could get four for two. You know, I could do a thousand things there. So how fucking sad is that, that my first 10 years here were coke laden. And I still worked and booked movies and did movies. Can you imagine? You're fortunate. If I was sober, the things I could have done in television and film, you know, that longish yard, I stayed sober on that for six weeks. Yeah. And not even I'm lying. I stayed sober for two weeks in the beginning and I went off to deep and then I found where I could get in Santa Fe. And that was the end of that. And I'll never forget flying up here with that per diem money

in my pocket, burning a hole in my pocket. My wife wouldn't know about it. Right. I was cash. They give you, I'll never forget getting off that plane and going straight to that fucking dealer's house and telling them, cut me three and a half of nothing but fucking rock. I'm going home to blast off. Fuck football. I mean, it was just crazy. Yeah. Crazy. I was snorting till four. I would get my car and drive to Redondo beats to shoot the longish yard. Crazy. What is it like? He mentioned the Modesto story, Chris, and he said that it was after like a four

or five day bender. And he was like looking at himself and he just realized he would like, can you even sleep after a bend? Like, can you can you get yourself right in a few hours of sleep? Or what does it take to recover from four or five days of just going balls to the wall? Three days of fucking sleep. Yeah, you're done for a while. Party's over Rover. You know, if you got a four or five day bender like that, I mean, I remember I had a two, maybe two or three day bender, you know, about maybe 10 years ago. I remember the girl I was living with, but, you know, booze, blow, booze, blow, booze, blow, booze, blow, and then went to sleep on Sunday night and woke up about five o'clock Tuesday. I slept. I mean, I never opened

my eyes on Monday. You know, just that whole day was gone. I was like, you got how in the fuck is it Tuesday? I thought it was playing a joke on me. Can you imagine? When I did the 30 day, the 30 things, I started on Thursday and I finished from Sunday morning and I basically slept from Sunday to Wednesday. Getting up to puke, eat a little soup and go right back to bed. Joints were hurting. Tendons were hurting. You know, there's no, there's no vitamin swallowing, swallowing. Yeah, there's no vitamins coming into your body. It's a horrible, horrible thing. When I was 21, I was pulling those two nighters too. I remember being in Miami one night up for three nights by myself in a hotel. Three nights. Sad. I'm going to write about it. I'm getting to that

sad, waiting for a guy to come that gave me a batch of Coke and I had to pay him. And I got down and thank God I had extra money. I checked myself into a hotel and I asked some guy for Coke and he ended up giving me like, he was like, oh, don't worry about it. He just actually went in with a scoop. This is 1984 cocaine and I went back. It was in Miami. I'm like, it was a hotel. 84 Miami. You had no fucking idea and I went into this hotel room and I basically drank water, all the alcohol in the refrigerator, did not let the maid in and just went straight for three days from Friday to Monday. I still remember Monday morning. I still could close my eyes and visualize the sun coming through the curtains

and how bad I felt. He mentioned this part where his wife asked him why he didn't have the mirror and the shaving stuff and the shower anymore and he said he couldn't look at himself for a few and I've heard you guys mentioned that before multiple times. Listen, man, whatever drug you're taking, oxy, H, whatever. I know when I was doing blow and I had pee in the bathroom, I wouldn't look at myself in the mirror as I was walking out of there. It's not good. It's not good to look into the mouth of fucking Satan and go, Jesus Christ, what am I doing with my life? You don't even want to believe it. And we're very lucky, Jason Tebow. We're lucky that you've been doing this for 26 months. Has your life really changed? Sometimes. How has it changed?

Oh, how has it changed? That's a good question. I mean, accountability, for one, you know, just like you said, you'd fuck off so much. You mean just the easiest of things. Hey, man, come give me 50 bucks, come meet me here, we'll have lunch. I'll give you some excuse the next day. I didn't show up. I mean, I haven't even had the money on me and just be like, just don't have fucking time. You know, you get a lot of free time. You get a lot of, you said it best when you're like, all the time in my head, all the planning, you know, you free up so much time not having that anchor. It's an anchor. It's an anchor. This is what it is. It's an anchor. It's not to be like, oh, man, how am I going to get it tonight? How am I getting fucked up tonight?

Who's working where? Where can I go and fucking pretend like I'm supposed to be there? You know, that freedom to do whatever the fuck. I, I could tell you all the good things that happened since I stopped doing it. Just me getting married, just me being a good husband. I didn't expect to be a fucking father. I thought that that nerve cell was cut, but I guess whoever controls people getting clean gave me that as a fucking reward to look at, just because there's no way in my ear. And a motivating factor too. I mean, there's no way in my ear that I could ever put anything in my nose again. You know, like I said, I don't even get high on most of the stuff I do because my tolerance

is of a fucking mule, but now there's not much I want to do. I brush. Listen, we do liquid acid in this podcast. I did like three drops to one that I was high for like three hours. I remember when you did three drops, you'd be on high for 22 fucking hours. Duncan Trussell and I, I was telling us on the podcast with Tata there, we used to sell liquid acid. Here in town? Here in town. The day after I met, I met Duncan Trussell, the next day we started selling acid together. I knew Duncan for about 12 hours. And he's like, Oh, I heard you got a connection to get acid, buddy. I go, I got a guy that can hook it up. He's like, we should get a bunch liquid acid vising bottle. You should keep it in the fucking, you know, medicine cabinet. One was a vising bottle. One,

the other one was also a vising bottle that just said not vising on it. So no one fucking accidentally do that fucking. And we used to dose people up. It was just one, one hit, two hits, you're fucking high for eight hours. Duncan and I built up such a tolerance that we would just go drop in each eye bank, not even go to just circumvent the whole digestive system. If you're selling acid. Oh yeah, you're eating acid. Everybody does acid once a month. You're doing it every single other day with people because I was telling Lee, I did acid for three weeks in a row to the point where the next day I couldn't, I would be stuttering. Like you could feel it like the next day. I remember doing angel dust that the next day you could feel it. I did a hundred hits in one

summer in three months of acid. Yeah. That you could feel, you'll feel that for a while. I feel it after, I mean, maybe it's, it must be completely different, but after like doing it twice in one week, that's tough. That's like, it takes it, like it's when you don't want to work out, but you make new workout. It lowers your resistance. It does so many things. Like vitamin C kills that fucking rat poison once it gets in your fucking blood, but it lowers. I remember going out like from Friday, Saturday, we'd get together Sunday and do mescaline, maybe take Monday off and then go Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday by Friday. You're a 15, 16 year old kid. Sure. I have fucking insecurities today. I was dosing my fucking underdeveloped brain. Yeah. With God knows

what I was buying in fucking Pennsylvania. Who knows what that shit was? Listen, man, that, that phone interview was one of the best interviews I've ever heard somebody talk about addiction like ever. This is a great, great guy, great story. If you're suffering with something right now, do me a favor. Go to his website, man. What is it again? Theheronproject.org. It's E-H-E-R-R-E-N. He's not looking to do anything. Maybe he's got information on there and how to get you the way you need to be, man. That's the most important thing. I wish I could help you. I wish Tebow could help you. We could tell you to go to a meeting. We're going to tell you the same shit that's kept you where you've been for this long time. So I'm no fucking genius.

Maybe he's got something that could help you with addiction. Like I said, I was addicted for a long time, but everybody's addiction is different. I got to be honest with you. Everybody do different fucking things for an addiction. So check out theheronproject.org and maybe he's got some information, especially with opiates, if you need help. You know what I'm saying? Right now you're going to enjoy it. What the fuck? You smoke dope. What type of hypocrite are you? Listen, man. I'm over here fighting for my fucking life to every day. I smoke marijuana because it's the last thing from my past that holds me together. You know, I got to be honest with you guys. Like I said, there's some mornings I could smoke four bowls of weed and nothing happens. Yeah. You know,

my tolerance is so high, but it's right now I've been thinking about it from the other side. And it's the last thing from my past. That's still. It's also probably the only one that didn't really make your life unmanageable. No, it makes me, I focus. I write. I do my task. I'm never late. You know, so I've loved it. I've loved marijuana since day one. The first time I went home was able to fall asleep on marijuana. I go, this is the drug for me. This is the fucking drug for me. Thebes, I'm happy you're doing 26 fucking months. You tape the special shot. I recorded an album where I recorded it in Fort Wayne, Indiana. And it'll be coming out in about three weeks. Editing it right now. We were talking about that at the store the other day, how hard it is to

edit yourself because everything, you know, you're like, that's good. That way. That's good. That way too. It's like, so I got a guy that's, you know, I can just kind of walk away and he'll send me clips and cuts and, and then I don't have to, because you go nuts. You never mind listening. Looking at myself. That's the Adam family. Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to see myself. I don't want to hear my fucking voice. That's one of the hardest things ever to do. I love taping myself, but I'll never make the whole tape on one sitting. I got to sit there three fucking times because I got to get up because I hate my voice. When does the album come out on iTunes? Comes out at the end of March. It'll soon be ended like three weeks.

Let me know so we can post it and then it's on the show. Yeah. Return to the return to the red state. It's called people really like you when you come on the show. And like I said, you know, we fuck around a lot here, but in my heart, man, if you have a problem, I really wish you just go to smoke and reefer for anything. If you still need something like me because you're insecure, you don't think for years I wouldn't quit coke because I thought I wouldn't be able to create stand-up comedy. That's another motherfucker that fucks with you. I could relate to that a lot. Yeah, people. So, you know, man, whatever you're going through right now,

this wasn't no fucking whatever, but at least if one person gets help out of so many hundreds of thousands of people listen to this podcast, it would really, really be great. Send us an email, send Chris Harron an email, send fucking my man over here, whatever his fucking name is, Jason Thiebel, email. Yeah, I said that before on this show and I, you know, I always extend that out when I come and do this show because we always usually talk about this, but anybody hit me up on Twitter at the Thieb, DM me on Facebook or anything. If anybody needs to talk about any of that, hit me up. They don't always have people. Every time I do the show, I always get help by people.

Some of them I'm still talking to from the last time I did this show. Still talking to them all the time, so if anybody needs, needs to talk, man, that's, I'm here for you. You don't want any dates? I have much coming up. I'm going to be in Chicago in about three months. You can always see me at the comedy store, Ice House Laugh Factory. You can spots around town, bro. I'm watching that. So, I can tell you made a big leap with your life. You...

I never would have recorded an album. Fucked up. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It just would have been on the to-do list that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. It's all those other things. Well, you know what I'm talking about? You've seen the rainbow, you fuck. Things are happening. Things are happening.

That's what it does. So last night, about three, four days ago, I got a package from me on this. And I opened it up, but when I flip it over, they had sent... $5,000 worth of pills. No, they sent... They sent kids and hers. But when I flipped it over, it was the hers side. So I picked it up and I go, honey, you like them?

And she goes, shit, okay. I put the things away and my wife takes hers. I take my me on these. I go to Jiu Jitsu. I come back. I got the me on these on. I shoot to the shower. Right before I go into the shower, I shave on this side, right here, just so I can shave the rest in the shower.

And her door opens. There's a bathroom that connects through a door that I use and she uses. She has her own bathroom, but to break my fucking balls should go in that bathroom. She took a shit in there the other day. I thought a fucking elephant died in there. Put somebody broke in and shit in my house. I go, what happened? My wife goes, that's your daughter.

That's her asshole. That, you know, it runs in the family. So I come, I'm shaving. She busts my door. She goes, daddy. And she looks at me and she goes, daddy, why do you have panties on? And I go, I got no panties on. These are my me and these, you know, my mommy's got the same ones.

She went into a rip room. No, daddy, you can't wear panties. Men don't wear panties. You know, she's just a little fucking girl. She started pulling at them dog. Like, dad, you gotta take those pants. I said, would you stop? I had to stretch them out for her and show them that they were the boxes.

I'm such a fat buck that they all crinkle up and shit. But listen, guys, no, no jokes aside, I don't advertise me on these. I'm a fucking wearer and I wear them the best when I have to sweat. When I know I have to sweat is when I put on me on these. Why? Because of a fabric name model. All right. You want to elevate your underwear game to the next level with me on these.

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You got to revamp your underwear collection, baby boy. I'm 55. I can wear fucking diapers. Nobody gives a shit. But you guys are all young. You want to keep your balls fresh. You want to be alive? You want to be quick and you want to be cool?

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All I can help you is the supplements. You got 10% off, all right? I want to thank Nature Box. I want to thank me on these, and I want to thank my main motherfuckers in the house, honor.com. And I want to thank Jason Tebow and the beautiful Mr. Chris Herron and my Jewish anti-fucking length friend, Lee Syat. What, Lee?

Oh, no, it's honor.com slash church. Thank you, honor.com slash church. Always got to bring fucking pity to the show. Anyway, Tebow, let us know so maybe you could call and promote the CD. We'll do that for sure, man. We want to bring the number one on iTunes. You know, we love you. Thank you, sir.

We'll be back Sunday night. I don't know what fucking time. I'll tell you Sunday morning. Keep your guests in all weekend. We love you, motherfuckers. Thank you for listening. Thank you for the support. And don't forget, Faheem Ahmouaz, CD, DVD special on CISOTV.com.

What's the code? Ahmouaz. And get one month for free. Help a brother out. The kid's solid. He's so funny. I love that guy. I love that guy.

Thank you for helping us out. Stay black. Have a great weekend. God love you. God bless you, motherfuckers. It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. It's like a jungle sometimes.

It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. Broken glass everywhere. People pissing on the stage. You know they just don't care. I can't take the smell. Can't take the noise. Got no money to move on. I guess I got no choice.

Rats in the front room. Roaches in the back. Junkies in the alley with the baseball bat. I tried to get away, but I couldn't get far. Cause a man with a touch will repossess my car. Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head. It's like a jungle sometimes.

It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. Standing on the front stoop. Hanging out the window. Watching all the cars go by. Roaring as the views blow. Crazy lady living in a bag. Eating out of garbage bags. Used to be a fag hag.

Such a dastard tangle. Skipped her life in dango. A zircon print to seem to lost her senses. Down at the peep show. Watching all the creeps. So she can tell her stories. Took the girls back home. She went to the city and got so so so did it.

She had to get a print. She couldn't make it on her own. Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head. Ha ha ha. It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. It's like a jungle sometimes.

It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. My brother's doing fast. On my mother's TV. Says she watches too much. He's just not healthy. All my children in the daytime. Dallas tonight. Can't even see the game or the sugar rate fight.

The girl collectors. They ring my phone and scare my wife. When I'm not home. Got a blunt education. Double digit inflation. Can't take the train to the job. There's a strike at the station. On King Kong standing on my back.

Can't stop to turn around. Rope my sacriiliac. I'm nick-ranged. Migraine cancer. Membrane sometimes. I think I'm on that scene. I swear I might hijack a plane. Don't push me cause I'm close to the edge.

I'm trying not to lose my head. It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. My son said daddy. I don't want to go to school. Cause a teacher's a jerk.

He must think I'm a fool. And all the kids grow reefer. I think it'd be cheaper. If I just got a job. Learn to be a street stripper. I dance to the beat. Shut for my feet. Wear my shirt and tie.

And run with the creeps. Cause it's all about money. Ain't a damn thing funny. You got to have a con in this land of milk and honey. They pushed that girl in front of the train. Joke her to the doctor. So the arm under game. Stab that man right in his heart.

Gave him a transplant for a brand new start. I can't walk through the park. Cause it's crazy after dark. Keep my hand on my gun. Cause they got me on the run. I feel like an outlaw. Broke my last last jar. Hear them say you want some more.

Living on the sea. So don't push me. Call on close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head. Say what? It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. It's like a jungle sometimes.

It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. A child is born with no state of mind. Blind to the ways of mankind. Got a smile on you but he's frowning too. Because only God knows what you'll go through. You're girl in the ghetto living second rate. And your eyes will sing a song. Cause they hate the places you play and where you stay.

Looks like one great big alleyway. You'll admire all the number book takers. Thugs, pimps and pushers and the big money makers. Jobbing big cars, spending 20s and 10s. And you want to grow up to be just like them. Smugglers, scramblers, burglars, gamblers. Pickpocket peddlers, even panhandlers. You say I'm cool, I'm no fool.

But then you wind up dropping out of high school. Now you're unemployed, all non void. Walking around like your pretty boy Floyd. Turn stick up kids, but look what you done did. Got sent up for eight year bid. Now you're manhood is took and you're a make tax. Been the next two years as an undercover fact. Being used and abused to serve like hell to one day.

You was found hung dead in the cell. It was pain to see that your life was lost. You was cold and your body swung back and forth. But now your eyes seem to sense that song. How you live so fast and die so young. So don't push me cause I'm close to the edge. I'm trying not to lose my head. It's like a jungle sometimes.

It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. It's like a jungle sometimes. It makes me wonder how I keep from going under. Yo Mel, you see that girl, man? Yeah, man. Yo, that sound like Cowboy, man. It's cool. Yo, what's up, money?

Yo. Now, we ain't been squealing, Raheem, man. Hey, upstairs. Let's pull it up. So what's up for the night, y'all? Yo, we can go down to the feet of the man. Check out Juva, man. Hey, yo, you know that girl, Betty, yeah, man.

Come on, guys, all men. What? Get in there, man. I ain't got nothing. What the hell? What's up? I'm free. Don't nobody move nothing.

Nothing, y'all know what this is. Yo, what's up? Get them all, man. We double-climbed and left the flash and the fear in the spot. We's at a game. No, man. Just a game. Shut up.

I don't hate your mouth. Scoot up. So what's the problem? End up, you the problem. Yo, you ain't got nothing. Get in the car. Get in the car. Get in the gas.

I said, get in the car. Why is he doing this, man? Get in the gas. Get in the gas. Get in the gas. Get in the gas. Get in the gas. Get in the gas.

Get in the gas. Get in the gas. Get in the gas.