Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #468 - Wheeler Walker Jr.

Episode Date: March 29, 2017

Wheeler Walker Jr, a country music singer, whose new album "Ol' Wheeler" is being released on June 2nd, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Lyft - Sig...n up to drive at Lyft.com/joey and find out how you qualify to get a $500 new driver bonus.    Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 03/27/2017.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hmm uncle Joey here bitches listen, let's start this party off right Every time I've taken lift to the airport It's tremendous Whether the ride the driver they got the purple light in front now a little light in front to let you know They're in the house the driver is always great. I always have a great conversation I gotta go on the 405 which is a pain in the ass What I'm trying to say is when you drive for the right right sharing app Every trip can feel like a walk in the park with lift you can pick your own hours and work when you want
Starting point is 00:00:31 Lift can make driving the best job in the world. I'm gonna do your favor right go to lift.com today And I'm gonna give you a $500 new driver bonus. That's lift.com today slash Joey Lift.com slash Joey, and I'm gonna give you a $500 new driver bonus limited time Terms apply number two, but days are back There's no reason to walk around with a stinky fucking pussy and a stinky fucking asshole all embarrassed and shit Somebody wants to hear your ass. You gotta call time out and go take a whiff fuck that but days are back and the church And what's happened now would like to introduce the best Portable day out in the market a portable device that sprays your butthole clean with water
Starting point is 00:01:18 You understand me. Hello tushy.com Slash church and get 10% off. All right, but days are back. Go check it out right now What we're talking shit here. Hello tushy.com Slash church, and they're gonna give you 10% off. This is the perfect father's day gift This is the perfect mother's they give you look at your mom cooking and you're like, I wonder what her ass smells like Anyway, go to hello tushy.com hit it Lee Shit We'll walk the junior in the house
Starting point is 00:01:53 American by Burton Southern by the grace of God. There you go. Everything I do. I do it, right? New York and California, you can go and have your fun, but down here. I got a list of what I like They can take Interest There you go cocksuckers the church of what's happened now Wheeler Walker, Jr. Lee sciat hit the siren cocksucker. Let these people know what time it is You're slipping already. See it should have been portable my uncle. He almost fucking died. He almost There you go, it's all over
Starting point is 00:02:43 Uncle Joe is here and he ain't bringing the fucking cops you had them there waiting for me cocksucker Anyway Monday or whatever the fuck you gonna listen to this shit Wednesday March 29th my main man to you. It's a pleasure to have you on man. I'm such a fan. So I'm so happy to be here I appreciate it. I'll tell you what I've never been on a lot of podcasts a decent amount I've never had this much fun this early. Oh, please this guy. I mean we're in the we're in the first fucking minute And where it's our we're in the big-time partying. Oh, yeah We know we have we have to have fun here
Starting point is 00:03:13 And you know you like you were like the nicest person that's ever come in here I come here and I cough I've puked on people like next to people before I thought you were dying And you get I took one one long hit. He was ready to call the police He caught mine as well. No, this guy coughed for fucking half an hour. Oh my god, his face was beat Beat red like those stars. How many stars did you turn? I had two of the transmission fluids Well, you gotta eat five more stars get the part of six seven more stars. It's Monday night We ain't fucking around tonight. We look came all the way up from Tennessee. Not that you know I want to see this guy fucking dead. Yeah. No, no, you have no idea
Starting point is 00:03:48 We we we got an ambulance on the call right now hit the buzzer hit the fucking siren cock second We got the ambulance on call here to the day you go We got noise effects and everything for you tonight, we're going deep into the murky waters How was your weekend Lisa? I had a good weekend. What did I do this weekend? You know what actually I went to Santa Monica on Friday. You walked around did I actually went to Santa Monica? I went up and I I like an idiot. I was a few minutes late I missed seeing actually Willie do this the show, but I got to see him after he had two great shows That I was told that I was great that I suppose the ice house is fucking great
Starting point is 00:04:26 I don't know small so much fun intimate the drinks are good. Oh my god. The staff is friendly. Nobody bust your balls What'd you do last weekend brother? Me I saw some I saw some fucking country music actually some good yet. You ever heard Nikki Lane? She's really good. You gotta check her out. Did you watch her in Nashville here? I was here I got here a few days early. She played she just played the L Ray and fucking packed house prettiest girl and she uh She can sing her ass off and the band was great, and uh She might
Starting point is 00:04:59 Am I gonna get myself in trouble? She might be singing on my new record, but I don't know if I'm supposed to sing Now your new record comes out June 2nd that new record or another another no no we're June 2nd that one comes out the new one and uh the That's the one that she may or may not sing. I'm like forget if I'm allowed to sing Now the first time I saw you was on Rogan. I listened to the jam I Went to a friend's house two weeks ago to watch a fight and one of his buddies was in he goes Have you seen this band?
Starting point is 00:05:35 Something's sad, but they put mask on I go turn it off Like I only want to hear that shit. You know I'm saying like I don't like that shit I like music you want to play music play fucking music. That's why I'm a fan you you love all the shit I love you know like a skinnered Sabbaths, you know that real real shit. Yeah It's crazy like whenever I get confused About what what I'm supposed to do I'll read a book or something a rat little bit and I put on scanner And I'll put on one of the shows they didn't like one of the videos from the shows they did in England
Starting point is 00:06:10 One of the shows in Oakland or the black and white one from asbury park, New Jersey I'll watch all that shit for hours at three in the morning like when I don't need to be doing something And I wake up in the middle of the night all fucking dazzle And what I get from it is They didn't give a fuck That's why they were that good. Well, that's the crazy when I was that's the bottom line What's crazy is out when I was when I was in high school in Kentucky was like Skinner wasn't cool. It was like there were rednecks and there were like
Starting point is 00:06:38 Super rednecks, you know, like you didn't want to be like the like it was almost like Skinnered was like The not cool band and then you you then after school you're like You don't you play it. You're like how the fuck did I miss out on this the best fucking shit I ever heard Like you I was it today you you tweeted about Simple Man recently Yes today today. Yeah. Is there a better fucking song than that? No, there isn't no, there isn't it's just perfection You know, but I like that other one too that the whiskey bottle
Starting point is 00:07:09 Brand new car oak tree you're in my way. Who comes up with that? Yeah, it doesn't seem like they just got fucked up in jammed kind of for a while Whatever they did was working like whatever they were doing. Yeah I mean those first especially to me the first two records are like there's not a bum note I mean, there's they're both perfect records like they were musicians when I watched that video I love watching musicians Tuesday's gone. You like that Tuesday's gone. I love that song. I love watching musicians like I loved the whole Watching the drummer
Starting point is 00:07:41 No, watch the bass player for a while I watched a guitar player and then in my mind I try to figure out how the fuck are they putting all together The brilliance that you have Is the lyrics I fucking love all that shit. Thanks, man. My biggest Not fear nothing like that my biggest envy is people who could write lyrics I think that's the toughest fucking thing. I'll tell you what, you know, I'm trying to you know When I tried it because people come to me now. They want me to write songs for other artists and I'll try to do it My thing was I wasn't trying to be funny
Starting point is 00:08:16 It was just like I was so fucking when I made that record and you I think you can hear on the record the first one Read next shit, which I do a plug. It's only 599 on itunes. How about that? That's fucking cheap cheap I was I was like, I just I don't want to fucking take like usually you write a song the way you probably write your joke, you know Although you don't have to but I usually you look right fuck shit like you can't sit down right you exit out So I was like, I'm just gonna make a record where I'm not gonna fucking x out any of the bad I'm just gonna if I'm paying for myself. I'm just gonna record it the way I want to Do it and I
Starting point is 00:08:46 And of course I look back at the band the studio guys and they're just fucking on the floor laughing You know because like you're not supposed to sing fuck you bitch in the song. You don't How you gonna get on the radio? I'm like, I'm not gonna get on the radio. Anyway, may as well sing what I want to sing, you know Oh, you uh, you were saying like you don't want to be a redneck like I come from I'm from boston and Up there like it's there's a real Negative look on like the whole south. So like it's weird. It's interesting to hear even in the south You don't want to be like seen as well. It's weird. Yeah, it's kind of like it's almost like family. It's like when I'm in When I was in kentucky, I didn't want to be too much of a redneck then I'm when I'm out here in LA all of a sudden I'm the
Starting point is 00:09:26 Most southern guy you've ever met, you know, it's like don't make fun of the fuck, you know especially I hear you know LA is like very Uh, what's the I mean? I don't want to say I don't get into politics like liberal But it's like, you know, it's like whole another world and they make fun of like the red states They look down. They look they naturally Look down these fucking muts out here naturally Look down on that and it's something that's
Starting point is 00:09:52 Not uh, they don't talk about it's something that's in their DNA Yeah, it's like it's in their DNA like if you say you're from kentucky or Tennessee or alabama out here They they giggle Yeah, remember they did that to my brother. My brother went off to school and he was like I remember I'd never heard this joke before but some guy came up to me and your your phone bills must be so high He's like why he's like because you talk so slow on the phone He's back when you had to pay your fucking phone bills by the minute
Starting point is 00:10:22 And I never even I didn't know he had an accent It's like, you know, when you're in it when you're in kentucky, you don't he to me My family didn't have an accent then you lead the state and all of a sudden everyone's calling you a redneck you you get It hits you really fast. You're like, oh fuck. I'm the dude. I was making fun of back when I was a kid. You know, I got it By the age of like nine or ten I got it. I was living in new york city, but I go to florida Isn't it weird sometimes that the florida's the south you forget I go to florida And they had kids that were moving from
Starting point is 00:10:55 The redneck parts of florida Like the parents got into drug dealing or the father became a pilot or something because that too was doing all the the fucking mule and Yeah, but badass rednecks and shit and I went to his house once or something. They were playing music, but my mom played Country music at the bar. She had a couple songs. I can't remember who today I know she she personally Johnny cashed my mom Yeah, I mean she took me to the movies to see that movie when it came out in 40 seconds
Starting point is 00:11:25 We went together So she personally liked Johnny cash, so I always liked it when I became enthralled with it is with sports I saw how the people that I grew up with acted and I saw how the people in texas When they watch the football game how they act, what's the difference? They're both fans But in texas it seemed like their Their heart was really into it Where the people I hung out what we're doing if for gambling purposes or to where the jersey so yeah, that's that was gonna say that
Starting point is 00:11:58 Where I come from there was there was no gambling. It was like which is a weird thing when you get to bigger cities It's all about gambling like You didn't need people would kill themselves over the games without the fucking they didn't they didn't need get they didn't need to raise the stakes at all man. It's like Kentucky just lost in the tournament sunday and I got on the phone with my with my nephew and he was crying his ass off. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, no, it's real And I remember like watching The thing that really pushed me over the top was watching Earl Campbell
Starting point is 00:12:28 On monday night football and how those people would get pom poms And when he scored they would all sing that song Houston oil isn't there all their fucking pom pons and I couldn't wait to go to texas and I would ask people You know like uh Adults in jersey. I want to go to texas and they'd say, what are you fucking crazy? They'll kill you down there there or initial reaction was always ill
Starting point is 00:12:57 You know, that's the way they're programmed. It's nothing against them. They just see it that way That's just a bunch of red next time they don't get it. Yeah, I feel like it Don't you think it's kind of getting getting worse with this last election? I feel like it's kind of I don't want to again I don't mean to steer into politics, but I feel like as of late the the uh The quote-unquote red neck has been part of the news even it's like you it's always every news and I don't I'm with you I don't I if I wouldn't ever watch the news again. I'll be happy It's like it's you dopes who fuck who fucking voted for him. It's your fucking, you know, it's like now look what you did Everyone's they're yelling at him. You know, that's that's all I see
Starting point is 00:13:33 That's the worst fucking thing in the world that's going on right now. It's the worst. It's not even It's not even funny anymore. It's not even funny. It's not even worth putting your tv on anymore Really isn't Whether it's cnn whatever the fuck you put on it's 15 minutes of this shit People fucking scream it's 15 minutes of this shit. I can't I don't even watch it no more I live for five o'clock news and six thirty news. I stopped I stopped world news tonight. That's it. No more. It's not even but to to go back to your question My wife's in Tennessee
Starting point is 00:14:08 Yes, you were saying and I've been with my wife since 1999 and when I first met my wife My wife was trying to act And met her out here. Yeah, and she always came home with a story And I know from you know It's like when you try to talk to a girl go listen, you got a reputation to sucking dicks And she'll go, what are you talking about? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about I hang out with six guys and you sucked all six of the dicks Okay, what do you think we don't fucking talk? It's like
Starting point is 00:14:39 They act it's like I had a friend here that had a mexican chick living not living in a house, you know cleaning her house And every time I go over there If there were people there they'd act like the woman wasn't even in the fucking room Yeah, that's not no it was like a natural thing for them. It's not their fault It's not their fault. It's it's a natural Thing in you that you look upon them or you look down on them And I think the same thing happens with people out here people in the east coast, especially
Starting point is 00:15:10 How they're looking people from the south. I always got it. I I love this Listen, that was your first thing you said to me. He said you were you said you're a cuban I'm a cuban. I want to find out what that was cuba It's even more south than fucking man. I never thought about that. That's number one. I'm a southerners can fucking be Number two, I appreciate And I love everything about the culture And I get the fucking culture, you know I get the culture I get my wife
Starting point is 00:15:38 Listen, I don't really want to go visit my wife's family in back I can't lie to you. It's four days of fucking torture. There's only one thing I go back for and that's the leaves fried chicken in the Walmart The best Walmart in the world. I got two sweaters from Walmart seven years ago american made They've gone through two laundry machines. They're the best sweaters I got I buy all my shit when I go back to Tennessee. All that fat man clothes. You got to buy it in Tennessee That's what they're making good. I will say that Oh, not really on topic, but la is at least I actually like new york city for me
Starting point is 00:16:12 I'm not even joking when I say this I don't think I've been there 10 times in my life Like I went there once as a kid and I fucking flipped when you go from kentucky to new york city for the first time It's quick. It's just like it's fast brother. It looks I freaked out like I'd never seen homeless people. I'd never seen there's like stereo stores on every fucking corner I was with my grandma from who she's from Nashville. She was from Nashville We went there and we we had dinner and there was like a window right here And some homeless dude just walked up right to us. Just drop fucking dropped his drawers while we were eating dinner
Starting point is 00:16:45 I think it was probably the first dick I saw besides mine and I'm sitting there with my grandma trying to eat a fucking burger I was probably 10 or 11. She's like, you know, you need to go see a big city but at least And even and I'm saying this is like, you know, I'm being honest like the big buildings and it's fucking flip It freaked me out, man. That's not I haven't lived there in 20 years Because I was listening to what was it last week you the gym. Was it gym floor? Yeah, gym floor Who I know, you know from stern. I mean, I don't know him, but I hear heard him on stern a lot Um
Starting point is 00:17:16 You that's why I love this to this show because I listen to you guys talk about new york city like specific blocks and shit I don't know new york city for my asshole. I listen to the whole two hour podcast If you guys talking about little bars and shit, you you know I was like it reminded me. I don't know. I gotta go explore new york a little bit. I haven't spent much time on this off Is it doesn't seem like the same country As like when you go to new york and la like just the way you like it just almost seems like we shouldn't be the same country like not not in any negative way, but just you're gonna get yourself in trouble here. Um, it's crazy I think I get it. I think it's the way
Starting point is 00:17:55 Probably for you. I mean for me like I said for me new york city didn't seem like the same fucking country when I visited But probably for some if you if you're from new york, sitting you go to kentucky. I assume it's fucking feels crazy You feel when I was a kid that went from miami from new york city to miami And even the miami was a big city then Not as big as it is now. I would get a little You know, you go to the store and do a drive-thru store and get milk or whatever I travel every week
Starting point is 00:18:24 And I'll tell you what saves me Just when I go to the different states It lets me know that my hope is still alive that people still think The way I do in some cases You know, I do well In nashville, you said you're playing lexington. Yeah, I'm doing lexington the last time I did lexington some guy ran out I said i'm a christian. Fuck you fat boy Some shit like that
Starting point is 00:18:50 But none of that stuff bothered like none of that I never looked at it like that I got what lee meant to say in a way, which is true When you go to new york to fucking when you go from new york to to uh Uh Jackson tennessee, which by the way, I gotta tell you something about jackson tennessee I had some of the best spaghetti I've ever had in my life In jackson tennessee. See I've had great pizza in nashville My mind is open. Well, nashville is basically a big city. Yeah, my mind is open where a lot of peoples isn't
Starting point is 00:19:23 You play nashville. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I developed as a canal 15 years ago. I couldn't play nashville Well, that's a different that's a difference. It was a different nashville. It was a little bit more christian I bombed I saw dug standhold bomb. I said this I'll never come back to nashville Yeah, because my my all my all the my mom's side of my family's from there So I've been going there since I was a kid before I moved there And when I was a kid, it was a ghost town And you might see crystal gale at the grocery or loretta lin walking around and nowadays it's fucking it's turning to vegas Stephen tyler, it's fucking amazing. How many people live in nashville?
Starting point is 00:19:56 Yeah, we had ralfie man here a couple weeks ago and he was saying how it's amazing It's like it like he loves it. Oh, yeah, it's ralf. I gotta is he cool. I don't know him Yeah, he's a good. He's uh, he wanted to do some shows with me. Um I don't My problem is the agents call so and so wants to do a show and I just won't get back to him But he wanted to do some shows. I should probably get back to him if he's cool Yeah, he's cool as fuck. You have a good time But no, that's how I look at like I I was always open-minded to it
Starting point is 00:20:24 I developed as a comic in the state of texas I own the state of texas a lot Name it because we when I was a kid we lived in houston for a couple years from lubbock To el Paso to victoria To to corpus christi to houston to dallas to adison to austin or no the austin conroe Pasadena texas bowmont texas Texas was very good to me man. There's bands. I know there's artists. I know who Who you literally no one I
Starting point is 00:20:55 Aren't listening would have ever heard of Who are country musicians who are millionaires in texas and they don't lead the state they they just tour texas. No, that's it It's like its own country texas is here as a comic you could spend a month and a half in texas Well, you could I bet there's plenty of comics too. We're just only play texas and make millions. I bet You know, they have a lot of little rooms that Those agents won't call me. You know, they have a lot of rooms that other comics have that i'm not aware of But I developed in texas. Oh, I didn't know that I never really went to alabama
Starting point is 00:21:29 I went to a couple spots in louisiana. I did well in tupelo One time maybe 15 years ago as a feature act I ate dick in new olines, but new olines ain't no motherfucking comedy city And uh, where else? Clark Tennessee I ate a bag of dicks and a fucking army base. Yeah, I opened up I didn't have the money to pay the band. So I opened up for David on cove and chat nuga Just me with an acoustic guitar and fucking
Starting point is 00:21:57 Yeah, I ate a bag of dicks there. I mean, that's like There's two it's two. It's almost like you it's like it's almost there was no not enough noise Now chat nuga's a college time No, I don't think so I don't know Yeah What's in chat nuga university of Tennessee. No, that's noxville
Starting point is 00:22:16 Noxville, you're right Chat nuga was has the trains but that Chat nuga actually used to be almost bigger than national because had the chat nuga chuchu used to be the place to be Now noxville was good to me too. They got a good record store in noxville haven't been there again in 15 years this is I'll say even for me as a country musician, you know In all if it makes you feel better the more almost deep south I go the less the audiences show up just because You know like I can sell out a show in LA
Starting point is 00:22:45 Because you only got to sell to one percent of the fucking city Once you get down to like lower south in small towns like To sell out the gig everyone in towns go to fucking show up. It's it's just tougher It's like they're not on the internet. They're on twitter. They don't give a fuck about that shit. So Even with country music, it's tough. Now when you go to national and play a lot of people show up Yeah, decent. Well, we're doing Can I do my second plug? We're doing three dates to three record release shows june 2nd and nashville
Starting point is 00:23:16 at the exit in june 6th New york city bowie ballroom never been there. Is it cool? You know never been there june 8th la troubadour. You guys want to come? Yeah, june 8th That one night is that a thursday? I have no fucking idea something if it looks like I got a date and bray I got I got bray that week. Well, if you got some time we got an opening band You can do it do a little some joke. Yeah. No, no, no do it some jokes between them here in june 8th. I'll go watch Absolutely, I'll go watch it the troubadour because the antennas is right next door. So trust me. It's easy It was pretty good for country music. I heard in the old days
Starting point is 00:23:52 Well, isn't that where the eagle started and we were on stat. Yeah, a lot of that kind of that which is that country I don't know. But yeah, no, yeah, I think so easy listening is what they called it. Yeah, I hate that term But yeah, I guess it was it, you know, you can't deny that eagles have good songs, but I'm Uh, yeah, that's where all that shit started in the band. I love flying burrito brothers. You ever listen to that? Yeah, a while back Grand Parsons and all that shit that was all uh troubadour I think We did that we played it on our last tour I remember because I love guns and roses and guns and roses just played there for like to warm up for the show
Starting point is 00:24:27 He's explained to me how like axl would come back for his like is like Uh, well, what's it called? Is it pep talk costume changes and I don't know if I'm supposed to say but like he would take his like oxygen Puffs and shit back there. I don't know Yeah, when you you know that guy moves around a lot The troubadour was probably that warm-up gig. That's not a big spot. Is it? No, it was really small It was cool cool to be there like a week or so after uh axl and the gang at home and we're there Now, how long have you been playing music?
Starting point is 00:24:57 I mean I've been playing music my whole life, but um And you composed all these songs Yeah, yeah, uh There were there were 11 songs on the redneck shit the first record the one you like which I again, I appreciate Um, I wrote all those myself There's 11 on the new one That's coming out June 2nd and I wrote all I wrote all those except for three. I co-wrote with friends So I don't think I don't sing anything. I I'll play like a wailing song or wailing cover live
Starting point is 00:25:28 I'll do a couple covers live it I don't record anything that don't write when you do the wailing songs You throw a little zinger in there just a while I do I purposely do one that people don't know that well It's called outlaw. Shit. It's one of my favorite songs ever. Um and wailing and actually my My buddy who did my records actually did this did that it was actually they finished it after he passed away um And shooter Jennings where he did it with my Dave Cobb an amazing producer who did my records And so the guys who
Starting point is 00:26:01 Because I played the song because the guys I knew in the in the in my band had played on the record It's like i'm gonna play fucking wailing with the guys who played with wailing And I found out later that they fucking This dude didn't even fucking play on the record Now do you work texas a lot still No, a little bit. I'm gonna do I'll bet I'll do more this year But when you go down there, where do you play? Well, we this that you know
Starting point is 00:26:28 That's weird doing music because you don't when the first album comes out You don't know how big do you play a hundred 200 a thousand five we played like probably 500 ish rooms You know what fucking sucks and I we played a lot of these like I don't know if there's an equivalent in comedy But we played a lot of these fucking like um They have like a house of blues, which I fucking it's all you know, it's like Like The almost like the fucking uh chilies of music clubs Although I do like chilies, um
Starting point is 00:26:58 And then they're like the main room in the second we put a lot of second like the second rooms where you're like We do a sound check and they're like Hey, man, you got a uh mic for a kick drum I'm like, I don't know. It's like oh shit. They're using it upstairs. Like it was like leftovers almost I think they use it mainly for like fucking parties and what they call that room. There's a room for that at all I don't know the house of blues, but that's what I call my I call my I call my agent I go where don't play don't put me any more fucking shows Where they're selling blues brothers dvds. That's my new rule
Starting point is 00:27:30 If they're selling the blues brothers dvd or they're selling Or if they're selling top hats with a black fucking suit and tie, I don't want to play there nothing against the blues brothers, but like It's not The best fucking sound in the world. No, well, they all have those uh when I was in Louisiana shooting one time I called my agent I go, yeah, I want to do Louisiana. Is there anything in New Orleans? He goes, yeah, there's a house of blues. I'll get you a number for the room It was it was only sat 114 people
Starting point is 00:27:59 That's it I was like I have to do 22 shows I might as well do that this little and they wanted a ton of loot. So I had to do that a little theater right in the heart of Yeah, though we played New Orleans was the craziest gig we got him right before the fucking show because it's like some There was some accident on the highway and we got him right It was actually trying to be a great gig, but there weren't that many people there. It was like It's like you're in fucking jazz, you know, you can see any music you want. It's hard to like grab a
Starting point is 00:28:29 Grab an audience when there's like Fucking graze jazz and I feel like you can fucking grab any audience Like they'll be at a bar looking at the fucking college game And they'll go what the fuck did he just say? Yeah, well, that's the thing is you got it But you got you got to get people to know about it The problem is and where I had a blast last time was with like The scene you guys know which I didn't really know about which is
Starting point is 00:28:54 I'm gonna So I put out this dirty record. I'm like, I'm not censoring you and then I was like my people my fucking people which just won fucking doofus was like That we there's no radio. There's no nothing when I come out here. I do rogan. I do You know Like fit Simmons. I do all these podcasts and shit. It's like That was bigger than any of my friends who'd ever done fucking the tonight show or any of that shit There's this underground thing you do youtube channels and shit like that. It's like
Starting point is 00:29:23 The world is fucking opened up to um And I'll tell you right now that I actually just sent a shot of message to rogan before I came over here to tell him that I was coming here, but He's like doing like 50 nights on the tonight show Yeah, no, it's like that. That's a nice row Joe Rogan's Show is like doing an HBO special For a comic if you go on there And fucking kill it. You know today. I was really upset. I've been upset all day till I came here to see you tonight
Starting point is 00:29:52 Yeah, I cheer all up. I got home like a 430 I'm trying to pitch a fucking tv show, you know, and it's like I gotta tell you in the middle of pitching it I'm like do I even want to fucking do this? Do I really want to even do this well, then why you know, I was it your to start with you? Yeah, it's it's a it's a show of pitching. It's a great show. It's great written But there's times I'm sitting there going. Why do I want a tv show? That's fucking work Isn't it weird how that happens? Yeah, that's work if I want to do anything
Starting point is 00:30:28 I might as well come in here every night at eight o'clock And do an eight o'clock fucking tonight show you get a band to get a house band Get a fucking studio. That's what I want to do is go on here from eight Why the fucking watch it? I think I don't think we had this on the air But I saw you when I was out here doing press and I did I told you I did fit Simmons podcast And they invited me out to do uh To watch go to a show at the impromptu like I'll go and all these fucking Kind of cool comedians. Galifandakis, Sarah Silverman all came on stage and you came on stage. I'd never heard of you before
Starting point is 00:31:01 And You told me just now that you were felt a little out of place Which you look I was like, I don't know if this guy fits in with the bill And then five minutes in I'm like my new favorite comedy Right here is the funniest fucking shit I've ever heard because it was like mixed in with all that kind of weird kind of stuff was like, all right, this is This is what it's almost like pure country music. It's like this is what I like fucking jokes No, I had to go out and heavy that night. They weren't so you remember the gig
Starting point is 00:31:29 Oh, please I know the gig because that guy from that guy's called me And said what the fuck was that tonight? You know Brody called me and said Zach called me said that That was the craziest set he ever saw in his life. I had to go take him from him. I don't have time Oh, dude, you came on and you fucking locked the floor. Yeah, I mean it was it was It was it was like watching Hendricks. I mean the hollywood improv is very pc Oh, yeah, they try to pc it on you for certain shows and that show they try to be ha ha and he he And you know what? I'm not going down to hell for you to be ha ha and he again I go back to you had that you had a fucking attitude that in a great way
Starting point is 00:32:06 Like kind of like fuck all you fuckers for for even showing up or laugh. That's that's kind of what I love Well, again, we go back to skinning 76 at the Oakland Coliseum. Look at them on stage. Look at the singer You didn't give a fuck. Yeah, he didn't jump around. He didn't show you his tattoos His hair wasn't combed. He probably smelled like a billy goat They were drinking Budweiser out of a can at the end watch. He just ends the songs like this There's no jumping up and down and acting like you gotta fuck nothing Yes, the art of art of not giving a fuck. I think with my first record. I was like you eliminate that
Starting point is 00:32:42 They're like, can we they asked me for a bleeped version I go, I own the fucking record. No, there's no bleep version because I go I don't care if it sells and then it started taking off and I'm like Then you got to watch yourself because then I started you start to care You're like, fuck, should I have have should I have a bleeped version? Then you gotta be like then you gotta be like fucking love that little Your original thought Is the right fucking instinct, you know, you you it's when we double check ourselves that we fuck up
Starting point is 00:33:11 It's when you listen to people which is hard. That's hard to be hard these days because everyone has access to you, you know No, well The problem that you have especially in our situation This is the podcast that we started from a ground road situation And we've gone through all the hurdles ourselves like you did you follow these hurdles? Yeah, and then it gets to a point that you have this growth And now people are coming in and fucking with your growth Oh, dude. Yeah, they fuck with your growth
Starting point is 00:33:41 and Unless you tell them knock it off. This ain't gonna work unless you do it my way I've been doing this since day one. You're a johnny come lately type of motherfucker. And now you want to give orders It doesn't work Oh, Nashville's trying like not even a joke. They're trying to fucking shut me down right now They don't they don't like what and I think they like the language is less of a problem than the fact that I'm doing Independently and put it not myself. I think that's the that's a pistol. That's a piece of the action They're like, you know, why don't you come to this big fucking label and I'm like fuck that
Starting point is 00:34:14 I don't I want to because if I Where were you when I needed you dog? Where were you when I came in and you told me that that wouldn't sell That that wouldn't get radio play get the fuck out of here. Where were you? You want nobody you showed up when I had a million heads Anybody could show up when you had a million fucking downloads and the and the record is oh, yeah, I know I met I met with those fucking dudes who like how about one version where you say instead of fuck you bitch? How about miss you girl? I'm like, I'm that's not what I'm that's not what I'm trying to say Yeah, no, no, no they have listen
Starting point is 00:34:44 They don't understand the power of the internet today They don't understand that and I don't want to harp on this But it's a reality the first 90 days Trump had by talking the truth This country's ready for the language. It's part of the country That's still not ready. You know, they're trying to make believe. They don't know what we're talking about Like you don't fuck your fucking secretary in the ass behind your wife's back
Starting point is 00:35:11 But if I say tit you get offended go fuck yourself You know I'm saying you're banging your fucking babysitter you disgusting fucking savage But if I say suck my dick on stage You actually go back and ask for your $10 back. You measly fuck. Yeah, it's fucking those are the people that piss me to fuck off That they're they're here. This is what I'm surrounded with Yeah, it's fucking bullshit because I'm like why can't because I had that argument with my new record I was talking about and Again, not to get on this like
Starting point is 00:35:42 I I watched meet the press in the morning on NBC and they're talking about and they're showing a clip of the President talking about grabbing pussy. Why can't I play fuck you bitch on the rate or play pussy king on the fucking radio? And you don't even argue with them. Okay Yeah, no worries What happens what I didn't realize before I turned out I was smarter than I thought it was an accident I was like, well, then don't you can't have it when you say you can't have it. No everybody wants it Yeah, it's really crazy how even with the podcast we're not our agents are starting but all their advice is bad
Starting point is 00:36:17 All their advice is bad They have a couple good things that they pop up with That you could independently test on your own without them if you catch my drift But their ideas They just want to burn you up You know after this next album number two the second album you put out and it's number one again The whole thing. I hope it does. No knock on what it is. It will it will because we need this right now Yeah, well, that was my that's my goal is I've never cared about the charts, but I'm like
Starting point is 00:36:48 I want a number one country record just to fucking just to fuck with them. No, listen. Remember you said no Here you go. You know Madonna years ago 10 years ago Raffled off all her rejection letters This is cheaper running for the hills And she read them This is what lisa yad said president of icom. You're a worthless bitch. You'll never work in this town. You know Who said that knows like uh Madonna read all her rejection letters from back in the day
Starting point is 00:37:16 What the right ripped the record executives said and where they are today And people said she couldn't sing and all that shit. She raffled them off the charity years ago Something weird to do because every I think every artist has the same thing is People think, you know Like you watch them on tv is like, oh, they got so much money. They don't care But you take it more personally than fucking anybody You know, like I understand keeping all your rejection letters. I still got you know I remember every motherfucker who told me I couldn't this album wouldn't sell or I couldn't do what I was doing
Starting point is 00:37:48 I remember like I know their face. I know their name. I know their family. I know everything Or you remember for the rest of your life. Yeah, you never forget it And you know, what's crazy that when you get to a certain level you want to walk up to them and rub it in their face But at that time You go, you know what I want and he knows it. There's nothing he could do. He could look me in the eye And now he could tell me how he's gonna book me You know what I'm saying what he needs to book me and how he's missed me And how he always believed in me. It's amazing. I was the only one who believed in you
Starting point is 00:38:18 Yeah, and you know what you like I could be the type of guy that could go go fuck yourself There's some people who I have said that to But there's some people who you know what remember a couple years ago. You don't want to pay me Well, no, you gotta pay me. Yeah, I'm not that I said I'm with you. I tend not to not yeah You cannot you cannot hold the grudge because somebody didn't Pay attention though because you were a little older or because you're fat or something like that. It's amazing Right now. I talked to our friend Tommy Easter
Starting point is 00:38:49 And Tommy's is a funny guy from the south Just like you He doesn't understand What I see like when Tommy's is from Atlanta And he's country. You know what I am. Yeah, so when he walks into this improv and this communist on these places They look at you with So I said to him eliminate that Go get a commercial agent
Starting point is 00:39:12 You're a country boy. You're gonna book every fucking country boy commercially shoot And then you walk in there and it's a complete different ball game. Yeah, I got an offer for a big commercial I'm so fucking pissed about it. Yeah, I said they took it back I'm saying is why I'm so pissed But they won this it was like it was I won't say the name of the company with some burger chain They had this new fucking uh like bourbon bacon burger, you know with like burger with like fucking It was a burger with like fucking bourbon and cheese. Yeah, just shit asshole, you know, right that
Starting point is 00:39:42 Pig's assholes, whatever in it. Yeah Barbecue sauce that's like eating fucking Fucking sperm sauce and they're like and they were like we don't think you do it But if you know, you know, you're not selling I said fucking take them. I'm like, yeah, I'm in and they cancel I think they probably heard this didn't listen to the record because I talked crazy. I was that was it and then they then all sudden that next thing I know the fucking um Commercial deal is done, but I would I was ready to sell out right there You know, I could just imagine
Starting point is 00:40:09 When they those four guys hit The country dudes years ago How many people you know the dude uh, yeah my my hometown run white and uh and Bill Engvall and You know larry the cable guy, you know larry the cable guy changes persona and stuff like that whatever but I could just see people going that's not going to work. They're red. Yeah, my fuck you. It's not gonna work My hometown is they have a rup arena, which is where the kentucky play basketball 23 000 people Jeff fox really comes in sells out the fucking place with a microphone the gig probably cost him 20 dollars and he makes
Starting point is 00:40:46 A fucking million flies in flies right after the gig of his own personal plane So we were we were talking earlier about how like maybe a lot of people in different places don't listen to country Or don't really understand the south Why are there people like you and jeff fox like jeff fox worthy? I had his cd up in boston. No way I'd never been to the south. I had his cd because that's where I goes back to what I was saying before In kentucky, you didn't listen to it because it was like wasn't cool It was local shit, you know I watched he haw
Starting point is 00:41:14 When I came from cuba religiously and I got it. I liked it. I enjoyed it I didn't know I was gonna end up marrying he haw You know saying but that's not the goal of the show. Oh, no. No, I'm married listen My the first time I took my niece To dinner in natural me my wife my niece and the baby we went and we got went to jimmy d's this little medium rainstake house no big deal My my niece asked me if she should get the gun Because when we valet parked the man was taking your car
Starting point is 00:41:49 That's how country she is damn That country my wife is fucking country jack and all she needs to do is call her parents in the morning for the first time I live with he haw Then once she takes the kid to school and goes back to Ralph it smoothens out For a little while back to regular tv. Yeah, right the right back to regular program But he all gets a bad rap, but I'll tell you what they they had some killer music on that show I watched all those episodes. I was like killing it. Fuck. Yeah Fuck. Yeah, some of that great. I'm great guitar playing too. It's like they had to ruin it with some of those lame jokes, but I mean
Starting point is 00:42:25 I heard they were bringing it back and I was like No, I heard they're bringing it back. I was like, I want to host a new he haw then I realized it would be shit So they still do mad tv or they cancel it. I think they just brought it back They brought it back, but they didn't cancel it. I don't think so. Maybe I can check No, Adam raised on it and me or k. I didn't hear anything else about it But no, you never know. Yeah, you're right. They probably bring back he haw with somebody Puerto Rican They just brought back a cash cab without Ben Bailey. I don't know if you saw that. No, they did. Yeah They're bringing it back. I'm doing like a celebrity version. It's gonna be terrible
Starting point is 00:42:59 I hate that show. What's the new what was the show that they just put on netflix? Um The kids the show that was on my as a kid. Um Bye bye No, no the the sitcom the uh the with uh with uh The Olson twins Full house. Yeah, I was like that shit show fucking sucked when I was a kid Why they bring it like it's like nostalgic and cool to bring it back
Starting point is 00:43:23 Fuck you. We don't want to watch fucking Some people do some people do obviously it did well. I mean I was like everyone was like on the internet was like all excited It's coming back. I was like, dude. No, you didn't watch that fucking try sitting through that show now It's the worst fucking show After the show as you watch me like what how the fuck do I watch this? What's the thing is I'll turn you go into this ether. You are every show you go you watch it 10 years later and you're like this Is fucking terrible. I'll turn on like just to get motivated sometimes. I'll turn on like, you know Country like the hit country radio station. I'm like, this is fucking hip-hop. This is
Starting point is 00:43:59 Rednecks rapping over hip-hop beats like I'd rather listen to nwa. I'm not gonna listen to fucking This fucking shitty country band try to rap now your music taste is very broad You love everything. I love everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I mean I grew up probably on it to be honest because I was rebelling against where I was from I grew up on primord rock probably the she used to Sabbath and all that fucking you know zeppelin everything And then I got into Like I said when you kind of go out see no, no a friend will play you wailing. You'll be like, no, no, that's my music
Starting point is 00:44:29 It's you know, you take you take authorship of it later, but Who are the influences? Well me and the the guy who produced my records who's amazing by the way We had the same we had both agreed and much of my friends agreed it all starts with the Beatles for us I don't know if that was if you dug the Beatles, but like literally the first time I I heard I'll bet the first bucko and song I heard was Ringo singing act naturally You the cool thing about the Beatles was you could You could listen to it and hear every type you could hear Chuck Berry. You could hear
Starting point is 00:45:04 Rest in peace. You could hear Halter Skelter was basically in metal. You could hear Like almost opera kind of and I mean classical music a little bit and like, you know, Eleanor Rigby or you could hear Country like I said, they would play a lot of country almost like a they did like Carl Perkins shit, you mean that you could you could hear every type of music Did you like the whole discography of the eagle uh the Beatles? Yeah, I liked it all. Yeah, the early shit drives me crazy. I'm with you. I mean, I don't
Starting point is 00:45:36 66 on that album and all that music revolver and the white albums and rubber soul and the one wouldn't they went to india They went to india. Let it be. No, uh, with the fucking heart. Uh, what the thing Sergeant pepper I like sergeant peppers magical mystery tours. I like I'm on the borderline to help Help I'm with you. Help. I like that song but yeah help. I'll be after help I like everything. Let it be is brilliant. I will say that I'm I'm with you as I don't find myself listening to early Beatles now, you know, no, no, no, it's like it sounds like kind of It's almost teeny buffer music, but you know what I fucking listen to music a lot and you broaden me tonight when you said
Starting point is 00:46:22 That the Beatles covered everything because I gotta tell you something as soon as you said that I heard The chords till she loves you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the beginning of it And I was like, oh shit. He's right. I've heard that before I have heard that before maybe somebody took it from them or not in the same chord the same Da na na and not that stuff but just that twang in the chord that John Lennon had on George Harrison was the real catalyst there with the guitar but
Starting point is 00:46:54 People don't know the Beatles anymore The Beatles don't even fucking matter people have no Pete kids are growing up And here three Beatles songs on the radio and they don't Understand what the Beatles meant. I feel like when I was a kid I don't know if you guys tell me but I feel like when I was a kid maybe That timing was like the Beatles were kind of cool, but Elvis was like
Starting point is 00:47:18 Oldies music and I feel like Beatles are not turning into oldies But the problem with the Beatles is that unless you grew up with a generation that your parents played the Beatles My parents played a lot if you're lost in the Beatles All you know about the Beatles is the radio The songs on the radio you really never put the whole you never put on Rub the soul or fucking what's what's not tomorrow tomorrow never knows. God. That's the best fucking song That's from uh, yeah, that's from a revolver revolver. Yeah, they haven't listened to revolver. They don't understand The whole the changes those motherfuckers made, you know how a band can't stay together and have three albums
Starting point is 00:47:58 How many albums did these savages have just estimate give me a No, so someone told someone told me that from the time they started till when they broke up They put out the their whole career lasted the same amount that u2 takes between records So someone told me that u2 the band u2, you know On average they said they take like six seven years To make a new record. That's how long the whole Beatles career was That's it. Yeah, they're they're they're plain landed in um In new york is when when people first heard of them was 63. They broke up in 70 the whole career was seven years
Starting point is 00:48:37 And how many albums they put up estimate I mean probably 10 I mean maybe more but well, it's weird because they had 12 They put out a different amount The albums were different in england than here some of them. So it's hard to say exact amount But you just said 12 if you If you didn't listen to the Beatles, what would you recommend somebody to start with? What I would matter it would matter who the person was I would say I think what we just came across revolver is a good one. It's kind of got a little bit of everything
Starting point is 00:49:09 I would actually you know what Ozzie's favorite album of all time is is what the white album the white album is brilliant The white album is great because you can again as an example if you get everything I mean helter skelter is more metal than most shit You'll or more hard rock than most shit you'll hear nowadays And you've got little ballads and weird fucking ringo shit. It's all over the place No, no, no, it's it Nobody really listens when I was growing up People were really into the Beatles and then when john lennon died like a whole fucking era people went away because
Starting point is 00:49:42 That's what they were holding on to That's what they were holding on to is the Beatles get back together seriously. I was I was 17 So he got shot and I still remember going to new york that sunday and At the time I wasn't a beatle guy bro at the time I did not want to listen to the Beatles or spring steam I was not interested. I was a zeppelin sabbath Pat benatar so anti you were against the Beatles I was I was against the Beatles because so many people like the Beatles. It drove me fucking bananas
Starting point is 00:50:17 And then years later in colorado Was when I got 66 to do whatever I'm like, wait a second these cocksuckers want to something And then I want the one you mentioned tomorrow never know. That's that's my all-time favorite. That's a fucking killer. It's brilliant You're on acid in that song. They brought the acid to you. That was the first time you ever tripped The first time you hear that I think I don't know you have to check it. I think that was the first time john lennon took acid maybe Well, they went to india or something. I don't know. I'm not a big historian. No, because I I'm a big Beatles historian they um I heard uh, um
Starting point is 00:50:56 The Beatles were at a party in l.a. or something and they took acid for the first time and uh Oh, there's a song she said, you know that one. Yes, she said I know I know what's like to be dead is uh henry fonda They were all on acid at some party. Henry fonda walked up to john lennon goes. I know what's like to be dead I'm john lennon just took it and put it in that song Yeah, that's yeah those old fucking party days, you know No, a lot of people don't even I would yeah, I would listen to revolver the white album
Starting point is 00:51:29 I definitely get let it be Yeah, in the way that let it be started as their worst album. I think it's one of the best No, I like it. I like that's great. You know, I haven't had the physical beat albums Which now I'm gonna start going and buying physical beat albums Next time I go to burbank. I'm gonna buy some physical beat albums. It's time. You're absolutely right I've neglected them over the years. Well, I got you back into it. Well, it's important to on a podcast to sell some Beatles records. Um That's funny because I'm trying to do a podcast right now. It's kind of falling apart
Starting point is 00:51:59 But I did I'm doing like call-in guests and I was talking to bill burr who's the fucking funniest guy ever He was a wheeler fan. So I'm like, maybe he'll do the podcast. He was nice enough to call in Who knows this podcast lover come out, but I was telling him he's like talking about like young Want to be artists like what they should be into I just got this, uh There's like 30-something disc set of dylan on tour with the with the band in 66 Playing the most killer rock and roll you ever heard And uh getting booed off the fucking stage every night. I don't know if you remember that that
Starting point is 00:52:35 No, but uh, he put when he went from folk to electric They fucking booed him on stage and I've got someone from my birthday last year gave me It's a it's a it's a box set of every Every show they played on that tour and every show Dylan starts folk acoustic and then they move the band comes on and they play electric And you never heard killer music like this and they get booed It's like he's helps keep things in perspective, you know First of all, the band
Starting point is 00:53:04 Yeah, is one of the best bands. Yeah, and that's people don't know about that's nothing people You know, I played them one time and people insulted me Yeah, I feel like they don't get their duel all the time. Listen, Neil Young doesn't exist anymore What is that noise? It's going No, it's nothing. Oh, I think it's you. It's something in that thing That's why I told you to lower this lower the mics a little bit. Can you can you go a little closer? No, no, just lower the mics a little bit even if I'm far away. Look how I'm far away right here
Starting point is 00:53:39 And they can hear it lower the mics a little bit. Okay. There you go. Because that thing's buzzing the fuck out. You're Are you listening over there? What are you listening? You saw him. He almost fucking died. Yeah, I know that a little bit He's probably hearing that on his own. Is that yeah, how you doing, man? I'm gong dunker. He's ready for another bunker. That's the problem I don't know if I want to watch though. Sure. You want everybody wants to watch leave them another bungalow He's panicking already and shit. He forgets That we get the weed that kill Lucifer You fucking forget you don't train on and I know you got weed at your house Don't tell me you don't I have weed at the house. You have at least a half. What do you not smoke?
Starting point is 00:54:14 What happened? Do you only smoke here? Is that the deal? I eat edibles at home, but I don't smoke at home really No, his girlfriend would beat him up. Oh my god. I smoke. I smoke all the time. I he doesn't smoke I took only I took one or two hits of this and I'm fucking about to die if he won the balcony at night His girlfriend would beat him fucking senseless. We went out there and smoked right now He has no idea When I when he's over here, he's 10,000 stars and he's over there. I thought that 1550 I eat 1600 When on saturday, what'd you eat tonight?
Starting point is 00:54:48 I don't know You better eat those stars. Yeah, when I said I was coming on here I got eight million tweets like watch the fucking death stars Watch the stars of death and stars of death. Yes. Well, you don't why you're not training tonight. What do you think? We forgot about this. I mean train. Well, you gotta eat like half the bag now because you only got 500 milligrams in you That's nothing you could that's a walk in the park. That's a good amount It's different when no one has when you told the the girl at the store that someone had two of the tk Oh, she almost passed out. No, she didn't she's not
Starting point is 00:55:17 You can do two two gales and you sleep like 10 of those just a balanced shot. You got like 10 ready to rock. Look at you Yeah, this is peer peer pressure, man. This is he's a fucking savage, but he don't want to train no more Come on, man. Don't get soft on me. I wouldn't I would never do that to you willer. Thanks, dude Don't even get me started on the periscope debacle if you think the kennedy assassination is fucked up You don't want to hear about the periscope debacle. What was the periscope debacle? Well, he faked stars and made them double how dare you all right wheeler and I call him on the way No, I want to figure this out. He doesn't get high. I call him at two He's over there singing songs watching parks and rec
Starting point is 00:55:56 And then the next day I give him 10 stars here and you thought he saw the fucking the devil Uh, he was here till four in the morning. He barfed. He ordered pizza. I didn't barf. No, not that night He ordered pizza. Have you taken enough edibles to barf? How many times yeah, I haven't eaten any yet. So what are you waiting for you keep telling Just empty the goddamn bag Jesus you ate five. Come on, man. Yeah, you playing games. What's the problem here? You ate 500 milligrams of tk. That don't do nothing to you. Sure. It doesn't do anything You gotta mix them up. What's those last two in your hand? I can't I don't stick eight of them
Starting point is 00:56:33 Just put five in your mouth and drink it. Let your intestines do the rest. That's what I do. That's why I don't chew them Just throw them in your mouth and drink the water over them and watch it No, you're not one of those pussies of chews. Yeah, he and then he gets sick That's why I try to tell him just drink to eat the whole star hole How are you doing? This is small of this thing. This thing is too little. I can eat three of those fucking things Well, just throw them in your mouth and just drink the juice after it and watch what happens Let the intestines do the work Poorly, man. Please the savage of death
Starting point is 00:57:01 This is what he does on the weekends. They go they hold hands. He eats one star He tells people he ate 13 milligrams. Shit, man. Is he getting barf on him? No, I'm not gonna barf on him Trust me. You'll know I'll make a noise. You know, I I know I'll know We did a podcast last week on wednesday. I must have got 20 fucking Things about all the noises he made that night Like when he gets really high, you'll hear little noises. That's probably what the noise was That's what it was. Yeah, he's fucking. No, he only ate the term my intestines burning. He didn't eat He didn't he hasn't the audience missed it, but right before we went on this guy
Starting point is 00:57:34 I've never seen a cough like this. This dude coughed for fucking 30 minutes. That's why one is the last time you had a transmission fluid Uh, it's been a few weeks. Yeah, and so you're used to these So, so I'm not used to these. No, you're used to the star one because you haven't gone outside. What did what did you choke on? Was it the pipe or the bong? I choke the bong. He likes putting all the dark Weed underneath it. What's the dark? What's the dark? We that's we that there's no fucking dark We it's the one that everyone's already smoked and that's why with the play you I don't know how you don't cough All right, I'm gonna fill up a brand new weed for you, right? So you'll see I want to know what the black weed is The black weed is what he calls smoked weed
Starting point is 00:58:12 But if you think how is that worse? It's the same shit. I don't listen to him. It's all it's all yeah, lee You're fucking me up. Why do you listen to him? He confuses people He confuses the people I thought he was listen. That's all you need. That's all you need to know right there. You know what I'm saying? That's all you need He confuses the people in periscope This is brand new fucking weed. Check this out Go ahead There you go
Starting point is 00:58:36 Go for brookley. This is the one that killed Abdullah No, not that lee lee lee because then he's gonna complain that it's dark weed No, I'm not yes. He is. He's gonna complain it. I'm gonna cough. Do you just took it out of my fucking mouth? Yeah, anyways, let me put some more water on this. He don't even know what because you're gonna flood it It's perfect. How it is. Yeah You can cough plenty off. Yeah, don't touch nothing. In fact, you left drool in there before so you gained an ounce Oh gross No, I'm gonna tease and you go ahead and hit that fucking soldier. It's it's monday. It's the end of fucking march. That's it
Starting point is 00:59:08 That's it There you go. Oh, she's gonna do it again. Oh, please. This is the one that killed lucifer. Yeah, you go Now now he turns the bar down I'm just fucking drool. Dude. Oh, Jesus Christ You're gonna kill this fucker This is what happened for the fucking plan for years At least you know the ending to this most podcasts don't have an ending. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no the ending That's the total one we're gonna shoot harrowth for new years
Starting point is 00:59:50 And you're gonna get a nurse to come in here. You know how long it'll take you to convince him to do harrowing. I'm gonna say four minutes Put it in a fucking in a gummy form he'll he won't know he won't know Hilarious. He's my dog. He knows I love him. He fucks around. I gave him weed as a stain training When I go out of town hit this before you go to the gym just one time He don't know he don't listen. So that's what happens. He turns probably you see that before Yeah, I saw drool. I saw drool down to his fucking dick. Oh, it was hysterical. He was done But he's all right now. He's back. What's what's going on with those stars? I eat three stars. I think I'm okay Three stars don't do nothing. That's eight fifty
Starting point is 01:00:33 What's that gonna do to you? That's not those don't even give you a headache There's not even worth the gelatin. You might as well kill that bag. You're a soldier. It's monday night. Come on, man Monday night you set the Listen monday night. You set the fucking door even how you drank tonight. I drink one beer I get fucking hammered. I got no alcohol resistance. I'll drink another one Yeah, do it for a fucking wheeler for the salt. Yeah If you don't do it for yourself do it for the salt for Kentucky. Yeah, do it for Kentucky Sunday, you're gonna go to Kentucky and they're gonna see you on the street and go you at least I had
Starting point is 01:01:02 You ate a bunch of stars in Kentucky. They got tons of them. Yeah Tons, please. They're all over the place. They even got a Cuban restaurant in Lexington What is it? I don't know You gotta look at that. I'll check it out. It's by the college. It's a fun little place It smells a little greasy, but it does the trick. I want I'm just trying to think about they fry bananas and shit in there So they Cuban what's it called plantain? Yeah, they're good. I love that shit. Yeah, but they got four Cuban restaurants supposedly in Louisville
Starting point is 01:01:32 Yeah, I don't go to Louisville much. Do you play there in Louisville? Yeah, we actually my last tour right before I did record the new record. I got I'd never really toured much and I fucking I got I got fucking lead. I got I got so sick I'd never been on the road that long and I think it was just too much many nights of getting fucked up and Yeah, make some more noise with that fucking bag Yeah, turn it upside down and go like this with your fingers all the way to fucking finger bang it and they'll fall out But you're working against the gravity. There you go all the way to the valley. I'm missing college five fucking years. There you go There you go. They were stuck at the top. I had to finger, but that's what the noise was when we finger bang
Starting point is 01:02:16 Five That's all you need. That's the party start. How many G to ready? This is all seven seven. That's it. No Seven that's it man. Sure dude eat the bag eat the bag eat the bag. It's tuesday night. That's it. It's easter You're the antilent How'd it become tuesday all of a sudden because by the time you wake up, but it'll be tuesday. That's what i'm saying. You'll be fine Now what's the difference to you between? Louisville and like lexington louisville is a big city compared to lexington lexington college. I mean, I think uh
Starting point is 01:02:52 Like you were saying before it's all it's south is so sports oriented, you know, it's like You tend you hate louisville when you're in lexington because uh you hate the cardinals and you love the wildcats Which doesn't happen out here. You know, it's like it's all sports really you hate fucking patino, you know But you love cat it's very um, there's probably a um There's a um What's the word i'm looking you got me two fucking stone. Well, you know, they go at each other, you know It's like oh, you're louisville guy now lexington ain't good enough, you know, so I don't know I don't I don't go to louisville that much because
Starting point is 01:03:30 No, it didn't seem like enough of a step Up, you know, it's like it's a little bit. It's like the same city now Is this the first time you're gonna be performing in new york or you performed in new york before we did one show in new york On my last tour it was good. It was tremendous. It was a real it was a real small place It was like 250 people and we sold it out pretty fast and this one's I think twice as big Hopefully we can sell it. I don't know But like I said, I fucking even then in this last tour I fucking flipped out Well, that's what we would get into that
Starting point is 01:04:02 Right now your second album's coming out. It'll be successful I hope you're right and all of a sudden your agent will call you and say listen It's time to get a bus And do a 12 week tour You know You and your guys are excited, you know and you do it and listen Right away. I'm crying because I shouldn't be fucking crying people like led zeppelin Not even led zeppelin black Sabbath went on the road for like three years and recorded on the road, didn't they?
Starting point is 01:04:27 I mean, they were fucking animals. They didn't stop. Oh, I know guys who do that. Yeah, they don't stop that fucking That's the thing is that bus costs fucking 20 grand a day I mean, I have friends who have those big buses, but you got to make good money to make a lot of money to cover expenses That bus is so fucking expensive And you know people don't realize how hard the road is, you know, like how hard it is when you're a kid It sounds like fucking no when you're a kid. It's like nothing when you're a kid You could do anything eight nights a fucking week You know when you're a kid you can sleep on a couch and nothing happens. What's what's the what's the longest you've gone on the road as a
Starting point is 01:05:01 coming November to April Well, that's pretty fucking long without going home at all. No, I would send clothes home and I did that three times When I moved to Los Angeles in 98, I found holes in my game And I pretty much stayed out from 98 What do you mean by holes in your game? I just had holes in my game, man. Like I wasn't and you went out to fix it. I was funny But I didn't really get the concept of the set and a bunch of little things
Starting point is 01:05:29 I got put in between nick de palo and Doug stanhope And I ate a bag of dicks and I had to walk off the stage and watch Both of them destroy well, and I said that you know what I need to get seasoned. I need to Get some legs under me So I would do it old school style. I would just like Book five out of six weeks Have like a week off And I'd go and from there I start
Starting point is 01:05:56 And could you feel it like? Oh, I'm getting I'm I'm better now like oh when I come back here six seven months later. Yeah Because I do a combination of everything I do a combination of one nighters Which toughens your skin And I do good rooms to shave off the fat That's smart So because what happens if you do a bunch of one nighters and come here You're gonna have to shave off that fat eventually from different spots
Starting point is 01:06:23 You like let's say I'm from Nashville Right, I got 35 minutes, but I got 15 minutes on Nashville. That shit don't work In tuplo, Mississippi. So you just lost 15 minutes chap So you better hip hop and start penciling those 15 Well, it's funny to say that because I did I did coroll this morning and I They wanted us to perform live. I did a song live I was like my voice sound like shit because I hadn't been on the road or been in the studio forever And there's nothing that there's no training you can do other than just playing on just going out and playing for five months
Starting point is 01:06:54 That's the only training you can have But the the my singing on the new record to me sounded awesome because I was I'd just gotten off the road for four months on the road I was like, how do I get my voice back to that shape? You just got to go Yes, I go back and there's no there's no there's no warm-ups or anything No, you can do the exercises. I know that vocalists do certain exercises. Yeah, my I have my goos and work Go go go and people work with vocal coach But even that it's nothing is close to
Starting point is 01:07:22 Being out there. Yeah, the timing The audience the expose. No, no, no, it's and that's I knew to get better. You couldn't Do hip crowds You know when you first start off comedy you want to do new york and Vegas and los angeles But you really have to learn how to perform and baffle on a cold night. You got to really learn how to perform in uh Uh, indiana, what so what's your biggest city? Sorry if I'm asking the questions But like what's your what's your best city like what do you where do you do the best?
Starting point is 01:07:56 By podcast standards san francisco No, but like as far as getting a crowd to your shows Oh anywhere where this podcast reaches will get a crowd These people are fucking savages. Really? Yeah, these people are savages where it reaches everywhere I've done shows in peduca and I've had people fucking show up in little peduca, which is great I've done shows in jackson had 60 70 people show up. They've driven it from nashville or You know, yeah, that's how you start getting the big eyes when they drive. Yeah, you know, I've got nashville. I get good numbers But you have to learn how to cut your teeth in those little towns
Starting point is 01:08:36 And you have to learn how to how for me to wake you up at 8 in the morning and go we look come on We got a 10-hour drive to our next city. Well, I remember the the first night on my first tour We had a we had a 5 a.m. Radio interview I woke up at 11 And I called up the radio station. I'm like, are we late? Can we still come in? I'm like, they're like you're fucking six hours late There's been three shows since you've fucking the show you made and you're never allowing this radio station again Like I don't give a fuck. Yeah, once you burn a bridge. You're done. Fuck. I'm like fuck this station
Starting point is 01:09:08 But I that sleep is more important to me than any fucking radius. Well, you know, this is it like this This week I gotta get up at four The car picks me up at 4 30 for what to go to the airport. I get to the airport. I fly to new york Fucking thursday morning. I gotta do radio at 8 a.m. Which is 5 a.m. Later. It's crazy. And then friday I'm probably gonna have to do something And saturday you sleep all day because my sunday my saturday night flight I gotta be there and fucking uh I think like 4 45
Starting point is 01:09:45 Back here. No, I gotta be at kennedy airport by 4 45 the flight just back here. Yeah So i'm pretty much getting off stage going back to the room laying down for an hour I'll be packed and everything and I get right in the fucking car and i'm back. Yeah, that's no I mean, it's a life, but it's kind of tough. I only do it twice a month. Okay Okay, i'm 54. I gotta take care of myself That's shit every week that they call you with and go you have to go there I don't have to do nothing. I just got a call that i'm playing vegas this weekend. They sent me a flyer I'm like, what the fuck you there's a picture. There's a flyer of me with these two girls on it
Starting point is 01:10:18 Where's the band who should like who fucking booked what the fuck's going on? Did your agent contact? They I heard I heard rumors of it, but I heard I saw the flyer way before I agreed right so nobody confirmed They just yeah, they said to offer you what do you think you said i'm available We'll call you back and also there's a flyer And there's tickets being sold. I'm no fuck. I gotta check up on it. Yeah, that's that's how fast this goes Yeah, it moves fucking fast, you know, it's funny because before we came on the podcast We were talking about scams people who And then I fell from one of the other
Starting point is 01:10:54 people send you show on the computer and We were talking about how dumb do you have to be we getting dumber? You know like what the fuck is going on, you know, which we never really answered. We said we're gonna answer on the podcast I don't know if we're getting dumber. I think we're putting a lot of trust in the internet Yeah at times. I don't even like purchasing my wife handles all that stuff But I don't type numbers into a fucking thing. You know what I was saying as I got an email the other day and the same that one of my email passwords was uh Someone had that I needed to change it. So I check click on the email. That's my name. I put it in they asked my email address
Starting point is 01:11:33 I put it in then they asked my um For my credit card information. I was about I seriously taking my credit card out It was about to type it and I go, you know what? There's no email place that needs your credit card to change your email password and I put it put it down like You know, it's like I was that close to being that one of those fucking dumb fucks and You know, it's you're not you're never that fucking far away Well, you have to think about at least that he got the call from the irs people
Starting point is 01:12:01 Yeah, I got that a couple of years like the first year that I didn't have a job They called me and they said uh, it was like an automated message and like contact your uh representative We recommend you get an attorney Uh, you owe such and such to the irs and I got I got paranoid But like luckily now with google you just look it up and they and like the irs even has a thing on their website that says Uh, we will never call you. It's always going to be through the mail Because so many they just they just busted one of the places in india. They just what what were they trying to do to you? They they want you to uh, they probably call you and want to like have you pay what you supposedly owe to the irs or
Starting point is 01:12:40 Immediately or the cops are going to come to your house and arrest you for your children They had the scam on 2020 one of those 60 minutes. It's Fucking mind boggling mind boggling how much money people sent Like without even fucking thinking like really someone tells me those those junk mail things Well, like you were saying before we were on the air was like, you only need a few people to send in some checks Listen, I tell the story This is one of the greatest stories I've ever heard about the america's
Starting point is 01:13:11 It's like when I was a kid. There was an uh, uh, a guy named petal lemon jello Nobody ever heard of petal lemon jello But abc late night had a commercial the best of petal lemon jello 999 This guy stings all the songs Nobody knew who petal lemon jello is the fuck's pino lemon just won't say it Can you please look up who the fuck petal lemon jello is? I'll never forget this petal lemon jello was this singer that nobody knew obama Wilson
Starting point is 01:13:42 They had the best of petal lemon jello and he covered six or seven songs And like it was the biggest scam of all fucking time. Oh, he was was he made I think I have the commercial Player yeah, this was fucking crazy But they did this other thing this I watched this on like some tv show 15 years ago Like HBO late night this dildo company put an ad out And they would have
Starting point is 01:14:09 And it wasn't playboy. It wasn't another high level porno more magazines It was like a million level one with chick show their ass holes and shit like that And the back page they had this dildo that came with water And steam and smoke and no batteries you charged it They must have had it was 24 95. They must have had two thousand orders The first three months or something weird and then a couple thousand after that What this company did they didn't even have a dildo?
Starting point is 01:14:40 Didn't even have a dildo They would take your money Put in the bank and then cut you back a check That said We don't have Yeah, but the check says it's from a dildo company. No, they have a dildo on the check This is way before the ATM machine. You know what I'm saying So you wouldn't go in and you you're too embarrassed to choose?
Starting point is 01:15:01 Yeah, who's gonna cast this check? Well, dildo. That's fucking genius So they made fucking millions. They banged people out and some people reported it But this was peter lemon jello. Look at this Peter lemon jello Love 76 Oh You are about to witness a new dimension in entertainment Peter lemon jello
Starting point is 01:15:49 Peter lemon jello a mood rock experience called love 76 Yes, peter lemon jello has created a new kind of music. That's both romantic and moving just listen Sounds terrible Can you believe this shit? So you didn't with this guy not really even exist? No Nobody played nobody ever heard of peter lemon fucking jello. I know a lot about music. I never know nobody ever knew about people They just put it out there at night and they figured it cost them nothing to fucking get the commercial Were there songs on it?
Starting point is 01:16:27 Yeah, like songs like he like he had one song that he probably wrote maybe just covers And the worst is like that dude in vegas. Who the fuck goes to see that guy singing people's songs The guy from vacation. I would never go see that fucking guy in a million years. Which guy's that? That dude who fucks the mother in vegas. What's his name that's been there for 2000 years He thinks he's Elvis. He was Elvis Elvis used to bitslap. Wayne Newton. Oh, yeah with that fucking costume I'm gonna pay 20 dollars to see Wayne Newton sing fucking By tom jones songs get the fuck out of here. I don't have time for that shit But this was all the little I call them american ingenuity schemes
Starting point is 01:17:06 And they still it's as fucking smart to do that. No when you go the other night I went to I took my date out to dinner I know on my wife my date. I took my wife out to dinner Dude, we had to walk through them all so I go listen the way out We'll get mercy shoes here the baby get a pair of sneakers that sneakers there When we're still online. I saw all those things that they sell on tv late night So, you know, we have stores of them asking on tv. Oh, yeah, that's what do you call that shit? Asking on tv. No, no, they had something for your wrist that you'll never use You know, like like the biggest scam of all time is the self-massager
Starting point is 01:17:43 You're never gonna use that There's no self-massaging. I gotta stretch my arm to get the bottom of my fucking back I'm twisting my shoulder to massage that gun and it ain't gonna work. None of those things work But no avatar, you know the the the copper knee brace That shit comes on at nine o'clock at night fat people there. You know what if I get that copper knee brace, maybe I'll exercise No, you won't but you'll drop the 2395 that shit don't work that copper fucking knee brace I had one of those I didn't order from there Somebody gave me oh, I've ordered that shop. I've ordered that show on fucking tv
Starting point is 01:18:14 That what's the thing you put in your door that you do pull up? Yeah. Yeah, and what happened? Well, no, I was I was stoned and I'd taken an ambient And we'll go the next morning It was a fucking box in my door or two days later. There's a box in my door with a fucking pull-up machine I'd use I've I've literally done one pull-up in six years No, you don't use none of that shit. Yeah, you're never gonna use all that buying stuff You're never gonna use none of that. Apparently when I was fucked up I thought I needed to get you know that was ambient really make you black out like that. No. Yeah. No, I forget shit
Starting point is 01:18:43 Yeah, I'll lose or just I don't to straight. I don't I try not to mix it with booze. It's not good for you but um When I take it, yeah, I'll fucking What it will happen is I'll wake up the next morning and there'll be a text from a girl. It's like, you know What time tonight and I'll read through the text is that I'll be like a girl I haven't talked to for years like We should we should hang out I was on ambient. I don't remember I was like
Starting point is 01:19:08 Me and you it's like this friendship. Why are we friends? We need to take you to the next level. I like I get this fucking uh Like I get really cocky on ambient. I guess and I wake up and I gotta you know It's almost like I should take ambient to take her out to be back to that guy, you know, it's like uh I act like a you know I just start texting girls on the fall fucking. I don't remember it at all They say people have bought cars and cooked meals. Oh, I believe it Ambient and not knowing what the fuck the next day they're woken up and there's I think my subconscious wanting pussy, baby Oh, everybody's subconscious wants pussy as soon as you you smoke a joint in your late night
Starting point is 01:19:44 You want a piece of ass? You're like, man, I like I take that ambient Like I said the next morning is just my phone is a bunch of texts from all the night before it's like Speaking of uh scams. Have you do you guys like a regular worried about the credit card ones? Like the machines always. Oh, do you check? I don't I don't check I pull them out. I hit them at the gas station. I cover the fucking number because there's people with telescopes You gotta assume. Oh, yeah, what do you gotta assume? You gotta assume all that shit when you go to a store and you stick your credit card Listen when you stick your credit card in the machine, you're doomed
Starting point is 01:20:16 It's like we were discussing uh You ever go to an airline southwest and the airline and they say put your id in or your credit card Everything's in your credit card to date a birth address How old your kid is everything's in that fucking credit card So when you put them at the gas stations and all that shit every time you use that out Like I have a work credit card And then I have a credit card They could steal the work credit card. You ain't gonna get dick out of there
Starting point is 01:20:44 That goes in small increments. That's why that's why I have to I have a work credit card And then I have one that I use at restaurants or whatever the fuck when I have a work credit card And then we have one university. What were you talking about covering it up? You cover it up you when you hit the numbers you always gotta be fucking safe, especially today There's always some motherfucker. That's cute Or you have to assume have you seen the videos of them putting the They have machines that look like the Yeah, and they just they put it on and it fits right on and it just has a little chip and it transmits all the data
Starting point is 01:21:16 It's crazy. Where's it? Where do they have those? At ATM machines and stores. Yeah Like a basically a fake ATM. You put it in the machine on top. That's why when you before you stick your card in Always grab that thing and pull it out. Oh, sure Listen every time you go to vegas within two months, you're gonna charge from vegas I don't know how they do it I know people go to vegas and two weeks later their account is clean that And you think back where did you go? You went to vegas?
Starting point is 01:21:49 All those things in vegas because everybody who goes to vegas you either go to gamble or to scam people out of their money More reason to cancel that gig is No, you got to go to vegas and do the gig but when you go to vegas, you got to be very careful You know, I was a thief. I know hotel rooms. Yeah, what kind of shit you do everything Every low life. What's the craziest shit thing you know, that won't get you in too much trouble No, I robbed drug dealers and shit like that. But for a while I worked hotel rooms They're very easy now. I can't do it Now you can't do it
Starting point is 01:22:21 But back in the day, I would just wait I would just wait for a hotel I would go to a hotel dressed up in a fucking suit with a wall street journal Like I was on a meet a friend there and I'd say what time does the I'd contact And then when they weren't looking I'd slip in and go through up to the third floor I'm the type of guy in those days that I would watch a maid And there's a lot of maids would put the keys in the door And leave the keys in the door and go in the fucking hotel because I leave them my shit in the hotel people Yeah, that's got it's got to be a gold mine. No, no, no, no, listen hotels a room room number one. I never
Starting point is 01:22:56 Nobody goes in my room You don't need to clean my room though. We just what do not disturb all the time all the time That's not really a deterrent for a thief But why have people eyes Known what you had that don't aren't supposed to know That's how it's done. I work security at the crestwood when I was a kid at 19 And you have no idea and I was I was the bad one What's the crestwood the crestwood was a hotel in snowmass village and I was security
Starting point is 01:23:24 There was two of us from five to one We had to walk around and drive people to the airport and pick them up and shit like that And there was another guy that was there the guy that got me the job Was a bigger thief than I was he was scammer from two ways. He would watch you coming in He knew you put money in the safe at the fucking hotel So he would watch when you went skiing and he'd get the key from no, no, no, no, no, no, no You don't trust nobody That's how you have to when you go to a hotel nobody
Starting point is 01:23:50 Well, that's my thing all the time nobody when we play gigs. It's like Do I leave it in the hotel or backstage at the gig? No, but both of them are no, no, no I don't fuck around. You know, we were talking about do what do you do? What do you do with it then hotel safe or no? I take everything with me Let's keep it. Listen, I want to steal my fucking computer from 10 years ago that I want to throw out a window every two weeks I had taken There ain't no nude pictures in there. They ain't dick in there
Starting point is 01:24:16 In fact, I got two gmail accounts with a podcast and they had different computers my house podcasts My house computer gets different emails than the gmail on the road I'll go on the road like now. I haven't been on the road for three weeks. I open up that fucking computer There's 2,000 emails It's the weirdest fucking thing so you could rob. What are you gonna rob my clothes? My ipod is one of those portable iPods. I buy those cheap ones. So they fall on planes with a circle thing Yeah, the speakers You could take those little fucking iPods. So anything important you keep on you. Yes
Starting point is 01:24:48 You get this your credit card Your fucking license and your phone You keep on you. What else do you want to have on you? You got a ring in the chain. You put it on You go to the gym, you take it out and you put it in a bag. I'm trying to not take anything too nice with me Well, my thing is too is it's harder for musicians as an instrument. So it's yeah, I've done things Wheeler that I can't believe I got away with That this this can't really be happening. Like when I was out there robbing You can't be this like I was writing a joke the other day. I'm not I wasn't really a thief
Starting point is 01:25:21 But if you're gonna be that stupid I had to rob you Like if you're gonna be that stupid I gotta rob you give me an example. I'm fascinated by this I was in the supermarket once I was fucking flat broke with my ex-wife. It was a friday and aspen And we probably have 22 bucks for the weekend we're buying like cold cuts and tuna fish and Sodas we were staying at a hotel on main street across from the internet sandwich shop This is wave not in and out burgers. This is fucking in and out burgers wasn't even a thought And I'm in this fucking supermarket and I see this fucking lady Going through the products reading the caloric intake and shit. You don't need to fucking know just grab the fucking product
Starting point is 01:26:04 With her purse on the place where you put produce And a envelope sticking up And I just timed it. It's just like a fighter when you're a thief you just time As soon as she goes back the timing and I just slipped the fucking envelope popped it walked around the corner It was 600 bucks in there. No, if you're gonna be that stupid, I'm gonna take it. I got stuck in Santa Monica tonight I'm not proud of this I'm not proud of this at all and this will answer a lot of questions for the people in the podcast. That was a time I would walk into fucking
Starting point is 01:26:38 Toys or Us with my four-year-old daughter at the time I'd walk in there with 60 bucks I'd leave there with a bicycle And six hundred dollars worth of toys Do a lot without walking out of the fucking uh toy store
Starting point is 01:27:02 That was a time when I was in you know, you know, they have how'd you do that In those days of fake returns You know, there was a time, you know, they did this movie Last year about back out of Compton with a fresh out of Compton What's their straight out of Compton and it's a great movie. I love it And they they talk about fresh out of they talk about him financing His early career with drug money My early comedy career 93 94 95 96
Starting point is 01:27:32 I was a professional shoplifter If it didn't have fucking screws on it It I took it Do you think there was a I don't give a fuck fuck the world attitude that allowed you to do that. Oh, yeah, there was a there was certain anger Because what you're saying right now makes me like want to do it But like I could see years ago like when I was like if you don't give a fucking you're fucking pissed off No, I was angry at the world. I wasn't happy with myself
Starting point is 01:27:58 You know, I had a low fucking esteem myself. I didn't really give a fuck I was getting into comedy. I'd been divorced. I'd already been to prison. I had nothing to lose anymore I remember one day I'm going to pick up my daughter and it's christmas day And I got $20 I got toys for her. That was the easy thing, but now I had to get decorations So I fucking took like christmas decorations and duct taped Them to the wall and a bunch of fucking christmas things and I got to go get a tree And I never forget this. I went to the kmart and next to the kmart there was a tree lot
Starting point is 01:28:33 And as I woke up you're not gonna believe this There's an envelope and it says pick a tree and put the money and checks in the fucking thing I reached my hand in there Two three hundred dollars. Who knows that's how I did it that fucking, you know, I went back eight months later And gave the guy the money Yeah Like that's the old school, but at that day that helped me out
Starting point is 01:28:58 Why would somebody leave envelopes out there and leave, you know, I didn't take the checks. I just took the cash We were talking we were pitching today in uh in fx And we were talking about the character of the jew attorney And I was telling play by lee We're trying And I was telling them a story that I got a job at the alpine country club. I was fresh out of bartending school
Starting point is 01:29:23 I worked at the Sheridan center and they gave me a job They got me the only way you work at the Sheridan center is by being trained at bartending school at the time It's 1984 So they paid for your training. It was 200 bucks for two weeks You don't know how to pull drinks. It's bullshit. Yeah, but when you're 18, you really believe it Like I'm gonna bartending school make full one on the night, you know, whatever But when I got suspended from The fucking Sheridan, I didn't tell the American bartending school and part of the deal is nationwide
Starting point is 01:29:56 placement for the rest of your life If you go to the american bar if the american bartending school still exists If you go there, you get nationwide and they have uh schools all over the country So when you move into the area, you go to that school And they'll give you fucking job placements if they have it I wonder if that took one day of bartending class. I couldn't everybody did everybody wanted to be a bartender for everybody Everybody saw that movie with tom cruise and told them throw bottles. I was gonna get fucking pussy But I went to I got a job at the I got a call from the american bartender school and they go, listen
Starting point is 01:30:30 God for a good bit they go go down to the Alpine country club. They're doing a banquet You're a banquet bartender. You're gonna make 1250 an hour now at this time. I'm on the run I'm hiding low and fucking uh, for Lee, new jersey. I got people in north bergham looking for me And I'm still making my little moves to the city and shit as long as I don't go back to north bergen or around that area And I'd work this fucking thing and I see that there's a They're giving the head bartender a key And when people give him gifts, he's to put them
Starting point is 01:31:07 In the back room and what it was was a bar mitzvah All right, and he went back there maybe a hundred times with envelopes and shit I he said to me listen. I gotta go upstairs and cater a part of it back in like two hours He left that key that fucking momo On top of the register. Do you know in my low life 20 year old self did I wouldn't that dude that dude sounds like he was about to have a bad bar mitzvah dog I opened up every fucking envelope and I took the cash out of the envelopes the ones I had checks I just left them in there
Starting point is 01:31:38 And the ones that had cash I just took them. I think I scammed like 1200 bucks Did they have a lot of ones in it? I don't remember I walked Straight out Like I didn't finish the shift. That's how crazy I was like I didn't even care if they're gonna put it on me Like I didn't get what why were you not? What was the place you said you weren't allowed to go to? North bergen. Why is that? I owed money for coke. I owed too many people money for coke I'd robbed a few drug dealers This is some fucking life. This is craziness, but I went and I did this bar mitzvah
Starting point is 01:32:10 I still remember going to Harlem girl. What the fuck? Is going on with my life And I would go to Harlem and buy coke and weed And I became tight with the weed dealers. They were all Cuban refugees and I go, what do you guys make out here? They go if we sell 25 bags for five dollars a piece. We keep 25 dollars And I go you got to give him a hundred dollars I couldn't fucking believe it. So I would always threaten them one day. I'm gonna come out here and I'll sell all these One day I go to the leader goes come here. I'm short handed today
Starting point is 01:32:42 I gotta give you some weed. You have to sell it on the corner. He gives me a bundle 25 nickel bags. I go, what are you? I'm gonna stand because you can stand anywhere you want But if I was you maybe go to the top of the corner. I went to the top of the corner and just started running I just took off the fucking port authority after I was I was a savage Yeah, damn. Let's see. This is the kind of shit going up in Kentucky. He didn't think existed Oh, no, I was a son fucking. I was a savage or clothes on It was just a matter of time before somebody fucking shot me wheel. I'm very lucky But did it come close to that?
Starting point is 01:33:13 Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, you had a gunpoint at you. Yeah, am I getting too serious? No, I had a knife one time and an aspen And I had a guy that came up to me that had a gun on him. That's it the next time. We're in broad daylight And he goes next time I see I'm gonna shoot you. Yeah, shit don't happen too much John Wolf G Jeff Warsaw J My man Jay from fucking Pittsburgh. I can't say your last name because you're a school teacher Damian Gerard Tim Norfolk Mark Allen Mike ricks and my main man always lawn Rosenkirk
Starting point is 01:33:50 I love you motherfuckers. Also, don't forget levity live this weekend starting Thursday night And 420 levity live oxnard So you're a nyak this weekend come by Or if you're a fucking oxnard on 420 or santa barbara or anywhere in that area, I'll be at the uh levity live Oxnard star one will be there Giving out stars leasing to eat like 52 of them that night dick sciat's gonna be visiting from florida We're getting the hotel room It's gonna be all over but the fucking shouting
Starting point is 01:34:23 You know, I was telling you guys before the podcast. I don't click on dick Like when people send me all that shit online, but it goes back to how we were raised wheeler I see people that shouldn't be talking to certain beat. We ever see that like I still can't believe that you don't click on porn Blow my mind. No because that should just jack your computer. I could jerk off from fantasies I could jerk off to fantasy Yeah, no, no, no, no, you don't know what goes on that fucking years ago I clicked onto something like a 92 fucking things gay people were sending me notices
Starting point is 01:35:00 I don't need no that shit gay notice. Yeah So I don't click on the dick. I really don't I don't click on the dick when people send me stuff Redo your banking Or we type your information. I just click it and take my chances I don't know but it goes back To how I was raised because I see people you're gonna hollywood bullhorn Yeah, and see fucked up people on there And you see like a fucked up guy who stops tourists and it's trying to scam
Starting point is 01:35:29 Like why come from you don't even stop Don't challenge him because he's gonna get you he's either gonna get you or the guy down the corner's gonna get you They're gonna weaken you by eight people approaching you But if you don't stop I don't stop at all. I'm never stopped my mother would not let me stop You don't you don't learn this shit run from I guess. No, you don't that's why new york sees still freaks me out Yeah, you don't stop you keep walking. You don't make I don't know what you're talking about If they really getting you mugged you're from another country just like only dutch You just say some two words to go. Oh, sorry. You just keep fucking walking. You know how many times I'll I'll talk italian
Starting point is 01:36:02 I don't even know what the fuck i'm saying italian. You'll get a german one time and then he'll be fucked No, I never sit german. I never ever speak no. No, I'll just whatever the fuck they tell me they speak. I don't speak it at all You know, I don't talk. I don't stop to talk Because that's how they weaken you like young girls like i'm gonna raise my daughter You don't have to stop excuse me. Can I you don't know nothing? I don't know nothing I don't know what the fuck you're talking about if you don't make the contact nothing could happen Nothing could happen. Well, what happened? I pulled over to help some guy and he fucked me in the end Well, that's what you get for being a christian. You know what i'm saying
Starting point is 01:36:38 That's what you get at being a fucking christian. It's harsh man. It's but it's the truth When you see all these low-level scams people put on people on the internet, especially i'm not Uh, what's the word internet sassy with scams savvy savvy, but I know I wouldn't put my fucking credit card in birth certificate in there Also, you know i'm saying like there's little things you know That you just can't do you know, that's why I like amazon. I trust amazon. There's a couple companies you gotta trust You give them the word credit, but somebody's probably fucking ripped gotten ripped off of amazon But yeah, I know my my mom did my mom did someone stole her amazon Uh gift card like they brought they broke into her account
Starting point is 01:37:18 It ordered stuff and then amazon wouldn't give her the the credit back Never gave her back. She refuses to go to amazon now because of them. They fucked it. Yeah And then that it's weird with that one because if you ever have to do a return like you have to go and ship it And then they don't have a number you have to go back and give them your number. They call you. It's weird So there's no perfect system anymore No, I don't uh, but it all goes back to that just don't get involved You don't know nothing. I don't know nothing. I'm sorry. Well, I need I needed these lessons when I was a kid They they talked to you they called you mr. Wheel and said you would write this song
Starting point is 01:37:58 I don't know what you're talking about because people come up to you with assumptions also That's the best they come up to you with assumptions of things you're gonna do What I get all the time now is people like I don't know how they got my email or whatever facebook like Semif lyrics and fucking song ideas hoping that probably that I'll write one Close to that so they can fucking sue me But I gotta I try to just delete it real fast. No, it's really quick how they have different When the death squad thing started getting popular with rogan It's it it it got obscene
Starting point is 01:38:30 How they would work each one of us Like I would I would get on the plane all scenario. You know this guy named john smith. Yeah He keeps saying man with me about tv show. Yeah Me you know and they want to talk to rogan rogan don't want to talk to nobody If you want to talk to rogan, you got to call his manager. He don't take a call An offer he don't know nothing You send rogan an offer and you just shot yourself in the fucking leg and I got to be the same way Because you got to cover yourself
Starting point is 01:39:00 You know, we try to be nice people. Yeah, come out to my birthday party I give you the cash you want and then you get there you got to sleep in the barn with the meal Or you know, you got to go meet the whole fucking family all that fucking shit. Yeah, you got to get that How about 10 grand for my birthday sounds good? Yeah, that's it or if not, it's a fucking nightmare Lee So when people contact me, I'll even answer them back You can contact me all you want about your fucking gigs Go on IMDB and see what the fuck you got to contact and call them. That's your best shot Because I got a wife and a kid, you know, I'm I I'm just not going to go to some fucking town and take my chances
Starting point is 01:39:35 I got to get covered, you know the hole from fucking A to Z and I say this Because I've been burnt 30 times I've been burnt 30 times, you know, you say that you learn from experience or was the worst burn you got you think Like a thousand bucks when I really fucking needed And how this how they get you um No ticket sales not enough ticket sales. There's always a bullshit story But then that night I got a knock on my door from the radio station. He ran out in the radio station too
Starting point is 01:40:06 That was my fault. I got a deposit I always got a deposit and I got half of my deposit when I got half of my pay when I got there You know, a lot of clubs say they'll send a check. I might check very bitch I leave with my cash You know, there's no reason to send me a fucking check. I remember we were leaving a gig and this guy wanted to us um Take his picture with me. He's like, I'm the promoter And I was in the fucking van. I was like, I didn't want any fuck like
Starting point is 01:40:35 I had I was there for three hours. Take a picture then so just leave Next day my manager calls. He's like There's like 80 fucking people on your facebook page saying that you you were a cocksucker last night It was that same dude who didn't get his picture taken like black like covered my facebook page and like fucking insulted shit And then uh I told my people that just like don't ever book me at this fucking it's just like it was a way to like Make me look it's trying to make me look like a fucking asshole like saying that like I was being a dick, but they were like claiming that I was being a dick backstage. Listen two weeks ago
Starting point is 01:41:08 I was wearing my goobies in Baltimore To play seats 300 400 fucking people per show Okay, they have a certain area where you could mingle you can't go out in between shows You can't go out in between the first and second show Because there's 700 people out there and it's all congested They're trying to clean out the room and these people want to take pictures. So last week. I didn't take pictures for the first show Do I feel bad? Fuck. Yeah, I felt bad But it's too much controversy people don't get it people don't want to fucking do it
Starting point is 01:41:43 People that you know like there's there'll be a line for people coming out of the second show And they'll be taking pictures, but then there'll be a line for people going into the first show And they'll walk away from the line To take pictures instead of waiting till after the show So then now there's an argument with them because they didn't fucking walk away from the line It's always something so the club will tell the club told me like a year ago different clubs said do us a favor Don't go out there in between Shows because it's just too much. It's too much confusion and our wait staff can't get the tables clean
Starting point is 01:42:16 They can't run with those people in the hallways So that's the only time I won't take pictures is in between shows if they're busy And if the place shares the same door There's a lot of places I could send people out the back door and take the pictures from stage But then they're still in the way of the fucking wait staff So it's a no win situation people are gonna get pissed off You know now people don't come till the late show come thursday Now people know don't come early because the places are small and they get packed. Well for you, you gotta piss off
Starting point is 01:42:47 Unfortunately, it's better for you to piss off the fans and the owner, you know No, no, no, no, I fuck the owner. I rather the people who pay to come see me I listen to the podcast and they're gonna come see you I love those motherfuckers. You gotta they're family. They're not even fans. I don't want no fans. That's when I was 13 These people are fucking family Sometimes I just it's just business I can't start the show an hour late Because I took pictures. Do you follow what I'm saying? Oh, yeah, it's business. It's just straight up business
Starting point is 01:43:17 They're trying to run a business. I'm trying, you know, I can't start the show an hour and 15 late Because both crowds are in the hallway The wait staff can't be productive. So in return if I take pictures, it's like the low I'm getting the lower the law of diminishing returns It's gonna be too much Let's just avoid the pictures the first show. We'll take them the second show if you want go to a bar and come back I hang out out there, you know for about an hour as long as I can So you can't take it. You can't please everybody is what I'm trying to say
Starting point is 01:43:48 That's the business we're in and in life. You can't please everybody people gonna get pissed off at you for doing certain things I couldn't go to a wedding on saturday She never comprehended it Since the day she invited me I explained to her that It's 13 out To come to your wedding And then I got to stay there for four days until nine. I can't do that I got a wife and a kid. I got to help my wife out. You know, I got home today from traffic at 4 30
Starting point is 01:44:17 I left the house at six. I didn't see the kid. I would have loved to take him that before I came here Didn't work out that way. She wanted to see me how to go outside and play fucking soccer with it till 6 30 And we ain't didn't I came over here If I don't do that then I won't have a family I don't have a career, but I won't have a family. I have nothing at home. And then when the kid's 18, she's on a therapist Saying that I didn't pay attention to her because I was a comedian. Do you understand me? It doesn't ever fucking end. So before that shit happens. I pay attention That's why I need you's like you got to kind of all figure it out in a lot of ways
Starting point is 01:44:51 And when you're when you fail so many times you'll learn how to figure it out. I didn't write this fucking shit I didn't write this. I'm a 54 year old loser that Learned that the right, you know, I got the I got married I bought the american dream And you get you go to the college. You're like, I want to do what? I'm gonna do what I'm not doing that And you change everything and all some people aren't happy you end up with a divorce and the kid And now you gotta run two families because guess what as soon as you divorce your wife
Starting point is 01:45:21 There's always that hot chick that wants to come along. You gotta start all over again So now you gotta pay child support. You got this chick here gotta take her out for dinner on friday She's not gonna suck your dick on a nice cuban amount. You know I'm saying like papa likes on friday night It's a fucking nightmare I mean, I will say I've probably learned more from failure than no you learn from failure. You learn from getting hit in the pocket Oh, you know, you learn from getting hit in the pocket. You follow me When you're uh, giving somebody half your fucking money and you gotta sell your house and you learn I made a mistake Next time I'm gonna play a little fucking closer to my chest
Starting point is 01:45:58 That's how you learn in life is not by reading a book Because you're not gonna listen to read The art of war is gonna teach you how to Or the war of art is gonna teach you how to plan and strategize or both how to fucking Get rid of your fears or whatever, but it's not gonna tell you what to do and what not to do and what's a mistake and what's not a mistake Nobody knows the tool you think Kenny Rogers When he invested in that fucking chicken company He thought that no, you know, they came to him with a deal
Starting point is 01:46:27 Who the fuck knows until you try it Kenny Rogers, then when Kenny Rogers roasters that chicken was so shitty. Oh my god. It was horrific Didn't Kenny Rogers ever go in there one time But they paid him a lump sum they used to do. Oh, dude. Oh, he probably made a fucking he put him on the fortune He that's how he got the facelift That's how you got the whole fucking that was a lot then if that paid for that He sold a lot of fucking chicken. Yeah, no, but it's it's it's uh You don't fucking get smart by fucking reading a book or
Starting point is 01:46:57 Reading about Nostradamus you get smart by fucking family and then you decide what you're not not gonna do no more I won't be doing that shit no more. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Oh, totally. I mean I've That's been my whole fucking career is one failure after another and then Probably the same thing that happened to you is when I said fuck it throw it all against the wall Just let's see what the fuck happens and then it works. Nothing happens until you put your ball in the line Nothing's gonna happen. Nothing. You're not gonna lift yourself spiritually You're not gonna lift yourself as a human being nothing happens until you take chances Well, that record was my money on the fucking. Oh, sure. Sure. My money that didn't sell
Starting point is 01:47:35 Didn't sell on I lost the money But even that it wasn't about the money with you. No, it was never about the money with me at all Lee wasn't about the money when we started fucking around or anything A hundred bucks a week does yeah Not about the money if you're doing this to get rich You don't really want to do this You have to do this because you're feeling your nuts and you believe in yourself and you're like, you know what? I'm gonna do this and watch I'm gonna prove all of you is fucking wrong
Starting point is 01:48:01 And that's exactly what you did which takes a lot of balls When I heard that pure fucking anger. Yeah pure anger, you know, and that's mixed and you take a chance And guess what if that wouldn't work you didn't fucking Cheryl crows first down get yanked in the radio stations didn't elanus morissette Have a fucking album that was a disaster encounter that she came here Listen, you don't learn and then she fixed all the glitches She said, oh, wait a second. I'm not a lounge singer I'm a fucking pop. You know what I'm saying? That's how you like I'm saying like dylan getting booed off the stage
Starting point is 01:48:33 Yeah, people booed fucking bob dylan For going electric. Yeah when he was just growing when he was growing He was inventing this new former rocker. He was inventing the band basically. Yeah and growing. No, no, no, it's uh You I was watching something and they were talking about revenge You know that it's the same result but uh Sometimes you uh lift from even pain a parent dying a brother dying an animal Sometimes you use pain to get to the next level
Starting point is 01:49:06 You know there's next levels as a human being you're never gonna know unless you jump in that fucking war You never know what you could do unless you could jump in that war. Well, it's like that famous dylan show royal albert harle show in 66 was uh The famous judo some guy in the crowd screamed judo's Adam and he fucking flipped out and he goes uh He screams, I don't believe you then looks back at the band the band he goes play it fucking loud and they played uh Like a rolling stone
Starting point is 01:49:34 The most famous concert of all time. They're just calling him judo's You can hear it. You can go buy the fucking records. You know, it's the best rock. I've ever heard like I said Best band I've ever heard in my life and they're booing him. What's going on Lee? How you feeling over there Tarzan? Not feeling amazing and then do nothing. You're bulletproof. He feels amazing, but he can't get the word amazing No, no, let me tell you something. He's but this kid is a fucking jewish tank of death I could never sink him. I'll tap out before he's he doesn't know if he doesn't need 2 000 stars He doesn't know he'll stay at home. I will say he looks pretty good now And then he'll tell me how he's not getting high on stars no more
Starting point is 01:50:11 I'll go Lee because you ate four fucking stars and you ate 2 000 milligrams of me on a monday night How you gonna go backwards? You gotta go upwards See, I always heard the weed wasn't uh, you couldn't get a tolerance. I guess not Yes, you can you get the tolerance to the stars After a year you get a tolerance anything if you smoke weed every day that that's why I never understood people bought a pound of weed Because after a week you're not getting as high as you were the first time And even if you take that weed and put it away for a while You'll get high when you re-smoke it but not as high as you did the fucking first time. I rotate weeds
Starting point is 01:50:46 I got one two. I got four weeds right now. I got two here. What kind of weeds are you? Let me see the shit that killed um Kennedy was we smoked the shit that made legal purple I got this shit that my friend grew up in the mountains And I got a container over there. I don't know what that is. I don't even know what it's been there It's like a general weed for anybody who wants to smoke but at the house. I got a Something like neptune og and I got like And I got some other shit that's what's neptune og I just left it there tonight because I had all this shit. I didn't know if you smoked and I
Starting point is 01:51:23 I usually got four types of weed. I smoked one in the morning one for lunch And I tricked myself, you know I'm saying like I'll trick myself and then I'll save the weed. That's the strongest I'll save like two bowls for sunday when I get off the plane. Let's say I smoked that weed on monday When I get off the plane on sunday that weed's gonna be strong getting you follow me. No, yeah No, I don't I never thought you gotta play this shit. You gotta play the hand. You gotta trick your body Lee You know, I know I don't look that great wheeler But like if like you took this and no disrespect like you would probably call the ambulance if you took what I took tonight Yeah, he took once if you would smell the Chinese man. Yeah, no, no and give him five more minutes
Starting point is 01:52:02 He turns into fucking general chow Give him five more minutes. He's now. You don't look chinese. He'll be general chow over there and shit like that Talk to me about this new arm. You press you press the record button. Um It's uh, it's called the new out. Did you just fart? No It's told by my new record. He's fucking ripping farts. I would never do that. But the police is coming hit him with the sound effect, though Oh, Jesus Christ This is 10 minutes. Can you believe what I gotta do? There you go
Starting point is 01:52:34 Right on time All right, what is the new album now? What are you called? Um, it's called old wheeler It's one of my favorite records My favorite country record is called old whaling It was whaling records called old whaling and I was listening to a lot when I was making the record I'm like Because the first albums, you know, just they said a lot about first rates is your whole life up till then Then this one is just really my life from the first record to the second one life on the road and really being
Starting point is 01:53:01 feeling like an old man like these fucking new apps where girls fucking Texting you the fucking pussies this new world that we're living in I don't understand fucking understood in some ways I'm not like an old man I'm just kind of a a man out of time. I guess I should say like Meet these fucking like girls tweet you they're fucking twats and shit like this is just this world I don't know. So it's really a record about um um
Starting point is 01:53:28 An old I guess maybe redneck gets old is be the the the word describe it just A man I tell you know some southern man a time playing new york city and meeting girls and just being lost really was is what the the what kind of Influenced the record in a I'm right. I love it. I'm so I'm so happy with it. I think it's way better than the first one. All right So where do you sell this out iTunes?
Starting point is 01:53:53 Yeah, what day? What day is this coming out tomorrow? No, June 2nd I don't know this comes out on wednesday the 29th. Uh the 31st you can start pre-ordering it on itunes. Okay um And also I got I decided to hear when we do a sales pitch number 11 I was like fuck. I'm keep because I own it. I'm like, I'm gonna keep the price down You pre-order it $6.99 because to me the digital that's tremendous That's tremendous because I'm like a digital file is not a because I grew up with like you with records
Starting point is 01:54:21 Like if you're gonna buy a digital file, it's just a fucking file like second insurance. You but I'm saying it's like it's like yeah Like when you buy a There because whatever the digital companies are like we own it for life. I was like, yeah when I bought microsoft word I own it for life, but I could never fucking find it if you asked me Find my own computer old software programs for 10 years, but I don't have that shit so I just keep the digital copies low priced and just Hopefully I'll sell more that way, but I'm
Starting point is 01:54:50 uh I don't mean to spend all my time talking about pricing, but yeah, um Starting this friday you can start pre-ordering it and now you're gonna tour this out. How how which cities are you going? We're doing a week of record release shows second the second Nashville Sixth in new york eighth here. Hopefully you guys can make it out And then after that we're gonna take a little probably a couple weeks off and figure out what
Starting point is 01:55:16 Kind of tour I'm gonna do Are you gonna release it on porn hub again? Um, I yeah, we tomorrow morning. I gotta get up fucking early Because I'm doing a shooting a video in the morning and then There's I'm not making this shit up. There's fucking naked titties in the video We're gonna premiere the video. This ain't no regular pop country shit. We're premiering the fucking video with naked tits on porn hub See, that's ingenuity. That's american ingenuity. We ain't fucking around anymore. So I ain't got brook shit I had never heard of what you were talking about. It was I what you were talking about with rogan
Starting point is 01:55:51 They used to release albums for free before they came out I can stream them Well, yeah, no a lot of the albums these days like Places like npr and that shit like Get a taste of it there and I and I tried all these places like here's my album You can play it for free and they wouldn't even take it. So I I was like Who would play my album for free a week before to let people have a taste? So we contacted porn hub. They're like we love it. Yeah
Starting point is 01:56:20 And those guys have been great to me. They gave me free fucking ads Like I said, what if I sold my album to like Even 1% of the world's masturbators. I'd be the richest man in the world It's like go where the audience is. They're all fucking black and off. Listen, man That's what they did with sons of anarchy the dvds. They told them and harley davis in stores. Oh, that's brilliant That's how they made their biggest fucking. Yeah, they sold all the dvds and harley davids in stores They went partners with harley davids into some shit and that's how you do it. It's american fucking ingenuity Yeah, that's what you did man and I go I go where's I go?
Starting point is 01:56:51 What's the most popular website I go to? You go to my computer. You press p fucking porn hub comes right up It's the hub of porn That's the hub. You love it harley. You love porn. That's what my computer does too. Yeah. Yeah, we see we're uh We're masturbators from the same one between porn hub and youtube you porn Um, it might be the same company. Yeah, it's probably all the same shit. Let me tell you what let me see both fucking are great See I actually go to porn md because it searches all the other sites See yeah porn md. I don't know that. Yeah searches all their that's where figures out like what your ailment is for too much
Starting point is 01:57:26 Yeah, but uh, so you go to porn md. What are you typing? And you can type in whatever you want, but that this is so this is what porn hub owns When you type in what do you want to see? What I want to see uh, joey ds. No, what do you want to see? I don't know probably uh, usually chubby girls I like chubby. I like uh, I like blowjobs Hold on. Uh, what else? What's it called up big? What's the big? What's it called? BBW BB? Oh, yeah Big beautiful woman. Yep all those so porn hub owns
Starting point is 01:57:56 Uh red tube you porn tube eight Yeah, well, I'll tell you what they've been fucking great to me because I'm the only one and the only fucking Artist out there playing music who will talk to you. You know, yeah me it's all you know Why ignore that audience is my what I they also did like a comedy contest you porn didn't it probably I don't They do like a comedy contest and listen man Whatever works the reason why you're sitting in that chair is I like what you do and I like the balls that you did Well, I appreciate it. So that's the only reason I love it. I love the music
Starting point is 01:58:31 I love your attitude. I love that you told them all to suck your dick You know, you know, it's really fun. It's playing a club in like the south and a bunch of whole audience To do the backwards baseball caps just screaming which one of you queers gonna suck my dick along with me Tremendous sit on my face Which one of you queers gonna suck my dick? This is Fucking tremendous. You can't even a record label would see that and shit themselves in a room like hell So I don't want you around I want somebody's like, you know, we're gonna fucking put this we're gonna run this somewhere now the serious play your music
Starting point is 01:59:02 Yeah, outlaw country's been pretty good to me. I mean they get a lot of blowback, you know But they got the balls to keep playing it which is cool. They um they've been A couple I mean a couple of the stations play. I think it's the outlaw country station that plays it which is Good because they call themselves outlaw country. So that's cool. I'm trying to think who else plays it I think stern played a couple times. Maybe I don't know. Did you do star loss? I did the after show when I was in new york. All right, which is what's that the minor leagues to get on this No idea. I don't know how it works anymore. I don't listen to dick
Starting point is 01:59:36 I'm too busy trying to fucking keep above water. You know, I'll tell you what I don't listen to is the fucking radio No, there's nothing to listen to. Yeah, I listen to serious in the car. It's the house. He's bowing yard. Oh, that's good. Yeah I listen to The one that plays sound garden rooster and all that shit. Oh, yeah, the other day I was listening you guys I fucking love allison change. Yeah, listen to uh, man the box man the box. I listen to studio 54 sometimes In the daytime, I'll put that on I have a question for you now speaking of that. Do you think disco gets a bad rap? Because everyone seems to hate I think it's some of that shit's fucking killer I think man people gonna hate everything. That's different
Starting point is 02:00:15 Or popular when disco came along disco, you know Fucked it up for a while. I remember them burning disco albums and shit. They had the big thing at the white sock stadium Yeah, I remember all that was a disco. They were burning or somebody's rap So let's bring rock and roll back, but I listened to that shit now. It's like it's some of that shit so good that Boogie oogie oogie and yeah, this is a couple grand jams. I get you're going classic this you can't listen to um, you know What's the big uh bg's hit um stay alive You can't listen to stay in alive and say that sucks
Starting point is 02:00:47 No, you can't you can't listen you can't listen to the whole sound that live out Ten I fever yeah and say it sucks. You can't just killer songs. Was that a Sunday Sunday fever? I'm sorry You can't it's a great fucking album and when you if you don't listen to it every day and you put it on like somebody like me I heard it every day for a year And then stopped like I didn't listen to that shit ever again But now sometimes I hear that one jam from it. I can we touch in the morning rain that one with other bg's Oh, yeah, that's a great too. That one. That's the ballad. The one that they were dancing to how deep is your love? Yeah, how deep is your love? They got the other one, uh, alakazam
Starting point is 02:01:25 Staying alive. What's the one? Then when they're dancing all fucked up at that club, you know, you know, andrew dice clay used to do Travolta impersonations at that club Like when he was a kid San life fever was big And andrew would go to that club whatever the fuck it was called And dance like Travolta and they'd pay him. No, that's a good game fucking tremendous But uh, lee, how you doing if you're looking you're starting to look around. Yeah, it's over fully. That's it
Starting point is 02:01:55 He's trying to tell me he's in training his shit on the week. I did 1350. I did 1600 and I went to the isa some And nothing happened. I'm high. But yeah, that's what I know. I got a voucher. This dude. He's pretty fucked up No, he's he's good. Yeah, he's good. He's solid tonight like the rock of fucking job I gotta I'll tell you what that transition fluids hit you later. See I got a piss All right, go this way. I'll write this out and uh go through here right through here Okay Look at me all fucked up first of all listen to me and listen to me quickly people I I love lee. I don't know I listen to him when he tells me
Starting point is 02:02:38 You know, he had a problem one night with uber they sent some fucking dude over here And then he got lift so one night he turned me on at the fucking lift And you know what man like I told you the cars are clean. I like that light in the front to tell you that They're there. What do you like about lift? I think the drivers are more friendly. I think the drivers are They tend to be nicer and uh, it's a it tends to be just an overall better experience Well, listen lift is ride-sharing company that believes in treating its people better Lift believes that being a ride-sharing driver should be fun if you're having a good time. So are your passengers Only lift offers an in-app tipping when you drive for lift you keep 100% of your tips
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Starting point is 02:07:35 New york the former house of the cuckoo's nest. I used to go up there and get fucking served I love you guys. Have a great weekend. We'll see you guys next monday night. Stay black We never decided what to close on the what we need. We never decided what to close on snow blind by the fucking Black whatever society Black label society there you go Well, can I thank you guys for having me or my interrupting fuck. Yeah, yeah, dude. I had a blast. I love you guys. This is fucking great Kick that mule Oh
Starting point is 02:08:37 What you get or what you see Things that don't come easily I'm feeling happy in my pain I see both of them in my brain Something blowing in my head When the white that's almost brown It's not to be my very soul Makes me happy makes me go
Starting point is 02:09:42 Oh My eye is a grind but I can't see I can see There's no place missing on the tree The sun no longer sets me free I feel a slow place freezing me Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:11:09 Oh Kiss the world with the flowers Turn my days into frozen hours Throw my bridge up links in stone Soon I'll feel the chill and roll Don't you think I know what I'm doing Tell me that I'm doing it wrong Don't know what that's really the loser
Starting point is 02:12:17 Here is where I feel I've been known I Kiss the world with the flowers Turn my days into frozen hours Throw my bridge up links in stone Soon I'll feel the chill and roll Oh Oh
Starting point is 02:14:04 Oh Oh

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