Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #472 - Joe Rogan
Episode Date: April 12, 2017Joe Rogan, comedian and host of the "Joe Rogan Experience" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Naturebox.com - Go ...to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first box.  Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water.  I Hate My Boss Podcast - The newest podcast from Wondery. Need workplace advice? Do you hate your boss? Listen and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.  Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. 
Recorded live on 04/10/2017.
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Never again will your asshole stink like 10 dead fucking savages.
You understand me?
Hit it, Lee.
Who the fuck is this, paging me at 5.46 in the morning, crack of dawn and now I'm yawning,
wipe the cold out my eyes, see who's this paging me and why?
It's my nigga Pop from the barbershop, told me he was in the gambling spot and heard the
intricate plot.
What's happening, you bad motherfuckers?
Uncle Joey here, Monday night, we have a special guest tonight.
My brother, Mr. Joe Rogan, we're going to talk about this fucking United thing.
Hello.
Joey and I were talking about how bad flying was this weekend in Buffalo.
It was bad.
Bruce Buffer's flight got canceled because they didn't have a pilot.
Everybody's on the plane.
They're like, sorry, we don't have a pilot.
Everybody has to get off and then the flight was just canceled.
No pilot.
Our flight got canceled because the tires didn't have any air in them and they had a fly tires
there.
We're supposed to leave at 8.30 in the morning.
Didn't wind up leaving until we took off.
We hopped on a jet blue to New York and then caught a flight from New York.
We're supposed to fly in Chicago and it changed from 8.30 in the morning.
They kept moving it up because I get notifications on my phone and they moved it up to 4.30 PM
and it didn't even take off then.
It took off sometime after 5 PM.
It was hard.
I don't know.
I don't blame it.
I know fucking snowstorm.
They were slipping.
How the fuck don't you have a tire?
How the fuck doesn't your pilot show up?
How the fuck doesn't?
It's just too many coincidences.
Buffalo is just not a good airport.
Just not a lot of people flying in there.
They're not prepared.
They're not equipped.
I went to Vermont a couple of years ago and they just canceled the flight the night before.
There was no weather.
I don't think they had enough people flying out of Burlington, Vermont the next day.
That's probably exactly what it was.
So we're going to watch this thing on United where a passenger apparently had a ticket,
was in his seat and they wanted to get a crew member on him.
Crew members.
It was like three or four crew members.
They had to get people off the flight.
Shit.
So people who had tickets, who paid for tickets were going somewhere and they told this guy,
they just randomly picked people.
They told this guy, you got to get up.
You didn't want to get up.
So they dragged them off.
Check this out.
It's going to, it's going to piss you off.
And imagine this is you.
United has been slipping anyway.
Look at this.
United Airlines overbooked the flight.
They randomly selected people to kick off so their standby crew could have a seat.
Let's see if I can find a better version of it.
There's a few of them.
The man was chosen at random but he refused to leave his seat.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Look at, look at people forgetting their phones ready.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
What are you doing?
No.
This is wrong.
Oh my God.
Look at what you did to him.
Oh my God.
That's crazy.
Remind me of my husband never used United Airlines.
The only fly in the situation could have been handled better than that.
All these people were freaking out.
And the more people find out about this over today and over the rest of the week.
United's fucked.
That's fucked.
I just can't believe they did that to the guy.
They forcibly removed him.
Why do they think they could do that?
Here's the statement.
Pause that for a second.
Flight 3411 from Chicago to Louisville was overbooked.
After our team looked for volunteers, one customer refused to leave the aircraft voluntarily.
Okay.
Look at what they just said.
After they look for volunteers, one customer refused to leave the aircraft voluntarily.
You look for volunteers.
That guy's not a volunteer.
That's not refusing to leave voluntarily.
That's a nice way of saying you took a customer and you fucking assaulted them and law enforcement
was asked to come to the gate.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Pause it because their statement continues.
It's getting really bad.
See with the rest of it.
We apologize for the overbook situation.
No, there's more.
You backed.
You went a little too far.
No.
No, that's it.
That's it.
Oh my God.
That's it.
We apologize for the overbook situation.
Further details on the removed customer should be directed to authorities.
How about fuck you?
I can't believe they would take a customer and just do that.
To get crew members too.
It wasn't like they were trying to get like other customers.
They had both too many customers from when I read it was just they had to get crew members
to whatever city that was.
Yeah.
They can't do that.
You can't do that.
People should start boycotting them.
Let me tell you something.
United has blown for years.
I took them into Newark one time.
No fucking TV.
No fucking shitty food.
First class was like fucking garbage into Newark.
That's why I don't I don't fly into Newark no more.
You know, I love whatever Virgin, but then it can't get me back from Newark.
So I'm going to end up in Canada anyway.
Yeah.
So no.
Newark's not a good airport.
I don't like flying in there.
I used to bitch about it.
I used to bitch about it constantly.
Fuck Newark.
Fuck Newark.
You know what?
My life's a lot easier, believe it or not, when I land in JFK.
It really is.
Smooth.
Worst case scenario, you go to fucking the palms and get a steak and eggs.
Like a gentleman in a bloody marrying.
You sit it out.
There's tons of entertainment at Kennedy.
Oh yeah.
You get a massage.
You get your feet rubbed.
They got fucking everything at Kennedy thought we, I didn't, I thought you flew out okay.
It was horrible.
It was horrible.
And I'm like you, I waited 10 minutes.
I had already a book three o'clock, but it got in at 741 and I didn't trust it.
Yeah.
I went to Southwest was empty.
Everybody was there.
There was kids at the airport all going to fucking spring break.
I went to United.
They had nothing.
I went to Delta Delta was done and I went to the other one jet blue and jet blue was
done until tomorrow, until Sunday.
I was like, you know what?
I got my three 40.
I take my chances.
Yeah.
Before I left the hotel, I called and they go to the plane that you're going from the
LA is already in Chicago landed from room this morning.
It's already ready to go.
It's on time.
And the other one was on time and you know what?
Everything was smooth.
Knock on wood.
It took me 25 minutes up to four or five to get home on time.
It was empty.
Yeah.
You have options in other places, but if you fly to a place like Buffalo, there's not
a lot of options.
You know?
It's like if you're flying out of Bozeman, Montana or something like that, like good luck.
Listen, bro, I can't get a direct ticket from Milwaukee to Detroit.
The flight, the flight is longer from Milwaukee to Detroit than what it is from fucking LAX
to fucking Milwaukee.
Really?
How the fuck did that happen?
I got to fly into Chicago.
It's a tough business.
The business of selling airline tickets and flying people around.
Not really.
You got to make money.
Not really.
Well, you got to think who the fuck is flying in and out of Buffalo.
So in order for them to have packed, like what's there, right?
Other than the UFC, like when you have a big event or a football game or something like
that.
If there's not that.
A lot of people connect to go to Canada.
Yeah.
A lot of people fly to Buffalo.
Those planes are always pretty fucking bad.
Airport was empty.
My at three o'clock, the airport was completely empty when I walked in.
Everybody flew out earlier.
And I'll tell you what, when I landed at LAX, empty.
LAX was empty?
Empty.
I couldn't fucking believe it.
I've never seen it like that.
I was like, wait a second.
No, it could get back in.
Have you guys ever, have you guys boycotted an airline because like it's weird.
You can't, they have you over a barrel.
You can get as mad as you want at them, but some airlines only fly certain places and
they're the cheaper ones.
So you got to fly them sometimes.
I bet a lot of people are going to boycott United after that.
Yeah.
But until the next vacation, like not many be like, you guys fly a lot more than most
people fly.
Yeah.
I think when most people fly, it's just whatever airlines cheapest.
Yeah.
But do people have an option now?
I think they're going to choose.
My first choice is always American.
I know where I'm going.
Yeah.
I know where I'm going.
If I go to New York, I'm only going Delta or the other one.
America sinks your boat in a boat.
Virgin's great, but they're going away.
Virgin's not going to be around anymore.
Where they going?
They're merging with somebody.
Alaska.
Oh.
For some weird, I don't know why.
Look, I took Alaska Airlines.
That was the only direct flight into Baltimore.
Was Alaska.
A fucking airline.
A red-eye.
They do all right.
Alaska does all right.
And they fly me to Portland from Burbank.
Yeah.
They're good to Seattle too.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
Tremendous.
Not bad.
So that's the end of Virgin.
I'm telling you.
I'm telling you the leader right now is that Mint.
And I know you.
I know the type of guy you are.
Yeah.
I know the type of guy you are.
They got a door.
They got a door.
And there's a latch right here that closes your door.
So you go foot, and the door goes, ah!
Like a Batman movie.
It closes real fast.
When they bring you the food, they press the latch, and the door opens.
And that's how she gives you the food, like Prisoner 44.
I don't even know what you're saying.
I don't even know what it looks like.
I put the sleep apnea machine right here.
I think it's like a pod, like those international sports glasses.
What do you see if you can find one?
JetBlue.
JetBlue.
I like Delta II.
It's very nice.
Yeah.
Very nice.
They got to lay down, bed, and shit.
I'm getting real tired of flying.
I know.
I like to do a residency in Los Angeles.
Everybody goes to Vegas to do a residency.
How many fucking people are there in LA?
You could sell out LA every weekend if you had a club, like just a club?
Playa Del Carmen.
Down there.
Get a nice club down there right by the airport.
Where's Playa Del Carmen?
By our friend.
That's where he has the, his, uh, Brendan has the office down there.
Nice and clean down there, Joe Rogan.
That's a good spot, but anywhere down by the ocean takes forever to drive.
That's what it looks like.
The pod.
Let me see it.
Let me see this thing.
Let me see a close up.
Ooh, that's nice.
That's JetBlue.
Yeah.
I'm dog.
Is this a new thing?
Yeah.
How many of these do they have?
They have, uh, you can only go from here to Boston or here to, uh, JFK.
So the whole plane is filled with these things?
No.
The front row, it's like eight rows, but you get an even number and you buy yourself
and they, so it's like essentially like first class.
So they're doing first class.
There you go.
That's by yourself.
That's by yourself.
They see that little box they give you, they give you a thing to cover your eyes.
They give you a blanket.
They give you a pillow.
The bottled water is behind your left arm.
You can't even fucking see it.
You know how most, no, and it's got a stat.
You can put your bottled water right in there.
You got movies.
I saw the Godfather two on the way there.
It's the refrigerator and the cheap seats.
You have a refrigerator.
Yeah.
You just get up and help your fucking soul.
This is for everybody.
Yeah.
This is for everybody.
That's hilarious.
That's so mid-flight.
You don't got to borrow nobody.
You get up.
You get your fucking soda.
These people getting, it's 2017.
Wow.
But those front rows, I'm telling you, dog, tremendous.
I was blown the fuck away.
That's just like first class.
And that goes to Kennedy?
Goes to Kennedy, but not from Burbank.
Me and Boss Rootin had this conversation because Boss was like, you got to get on mint.
Burbank, there's no mint because it's a small airport.
Right.
So the bigger plane can't land on that.
Oh, is that what it is at Burbank?
Burbank, yeah.
Oh, that makes sense.
A lot of flights.
That makes sense.
I always wondered why there's no cost guys.
And they don't land in Newark either.
Nothing out of Burbank does?
Two small flights, mainly.
No, small flights.
No, JetBlue doesn't fly into fucking Newark.
Oh.
Well, you don't want to fly in Newark.
Even if I land, even if I work in New Jersey, I usually don't fly in Newark.
Have you ever flown into Atlantic City?
Yes.
When I did the UFC there, I did.
From right from here?
I think.
I don't remember.
It was so long ago.
I did the Borgata.
Did you do the Borgata with me?
Yes.
It was fun.
When Militich.
It's one of the few places, like the Borgata is one of the few places, and Hendo Gracie
showed up too, remember?
Yeah.
He was howling at your shit.
That's right.
They were crazy.
I remember.
Hendo Gracie is a fucking maniac.
He was like, the dirtier, the crazier you got, the more he was like, he was fucking
flopping around in his seat, laughing.
I always walk past that place.
I'm scared to walk it.
Henzos?
Yeah.
In New York?
There's the killers.
They are killers.
But they're super nice guys.
It's a horror show.
You'll get tapped out, but they'll be nice to you.
Oh, my God.
This is how it goes.
Yeah, I'm scared of those New York schools.
I always make plans.
Yeah, I'm going to go over there after Norton Show and show up, fuck you.
He's a great guy though.
I get in that goddamn Uber and I shoot right back to that ferry jack.
Yeah.
I don't look back.
Fuck you.
I'll kill you.
Do you think you could ever live in Manhattan?
We had this discussion with somebody a few weeks ago and they showed the rent of where
I grew up on 88th Street and I nearly shit my pants.
Oh, it's insane.
The same place where I grew up now, I think it was, what was it, seven grand for one bedroom?
That's not even outrageous, yeah.
The money there is so crazy, it makes you wonder how anyone can afford to live there
other than like really wealthy people.
If there's any city that gives me anxiety, it's New York City at night anymore.
Yeah.
I've gotten to the AIDS and I've gotten very comfortable here and when I go play the stand
on Thursday nights, I stand on the corner before you go in and I actually fucking can't
take the cars anymore.
Like the speed, that electricity, I'm not used to it anymore.
Really?
Yeah, it fucks with me a little bit.
On Thursdays, I don't go into the city no more.
I just wait till I go to the shows and I, you know, it's weird how you, when you're
from that area, it takes you a couple of days to acclimate.
Like I was getting on the ferry and I was getting bullied on the ferry.
You?
Yeah, getting bullied.
Straight up, people walk in front of me and shit, but I'm from LA, I don't need this
aggravation.
Like these days they were doing that?
Oh, they're fucking rude motherfuckers.
The people who live on the Jersey side and they work in New York, they think their shit
don't stink.
So they cut you off, you know, and you overcome it because you're an adult and you don't give
a fuck.
By Saturday, some lady pregnant with a fucking thing was trying to cut me off and I finally
go, oh, relax.
Like you forget that you're a nice person, like you forget.
Wow.
People not opening up doors, like people pushing, you're like, you know what, I'm from a different
civilization.
You know, like people, you forget and then you toughen up by Saturday, but then you leave
on Sunday anyway.
So what's the toughness for?
You know what I've been saying for a while is that what's going on in New York and what
goes on the entire East Coast with the difference between the way people behave there versus
out here is that they're still too close to the people that first landed there.
Like the people that first landed there, like my grandparents and their families, they came
over from Europe, Italy and Ireland and everything like that, those were barbarians.
Those people were animals.
I mean, you just think about life, like you're talking about the depression, right?
This is all my grandparents came like when the depression was going on.
They, I mean, it was a hard, hard world.
People were tough and they were mean and you got fucked with and, you know, my grandfather
used to tell me horror stories about getting bullied and they call him a guinea wop, like
and just mean shit and beating them up and just everybody was mean.
It was just a hard...
It was just the ads of today.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how you have to look at it.
If it was today, Trump would ban fucking travel to Italy.
Yeah.
Probably.
No.
I saw that documentary and it was the most interesting thing I ever saw and it really
taught me a lot about that culture I grew up around because it always seemed very interesting
to me.
HBO did a two-part special on Sinatra and the first part, they discussed his childhood
in Hoboken and how at that time the Irish were the oppressor.
The oppressor.
The oppressor.
These weren't allowed past Ninth Street, which really fucked with them.
Then stuff happened and Italians, you know, grew and then they got passed Ninth Street
but Sinatra always had that mentality of I was never allowed over Ninth Street.
You got to watch it.
It's fucking interesting.
Plus, I understood the people I grew up with from North Bergen, see Hoboken is moving on
up to North Bergen.
We're going to get a house up in North Bergen, we got a front yard, you know what I'm saying?
Like half of the people I grew up with, their roots are Hoboken, so when I watched that special
on Sinatra.
So North Bergen was better?
North Bergen was more residential, where Hoboken was more, you know, tenements and three floors
and you know, yeah, North Bergen, once they built North Bergen, a lot of people moved to
North Bergen.
There used to be a club there.
There used to be a club in Hoboken.
What was it?
It was a stand-up club there.
I do not remember, I was long gone by.
They still do stand-up there.
Danny A. L. L. has a room on Tuesday nights.
They've been really trying, like over the years, to do stand-up there.
I did a benefit for the Hoboken Police Department.
Oh yeah?
Oh, a long time ago.
I did it, I did the club there in like, 91 or 92 or something like that.
And they had pictures all over the wall the time Eddie Murphy stopped by.
And so I remember, like Eddie Murphy was here one point in time, like, you know, they had
like a photo and it said, you know, like, 1989 Eddie Murphy, you know, it was like three
years ago and everybody was like, oh, remember that time three years ago, Eddie Murphy came
down there.
Fuck, I didn't know there was a comedy club in Hoboken.
When I started, I started in Denver when I went back.
The big club was Rascals and the other one, but there was also Main Street Showcase.
It was, it was always, it was, I saw Bill Bellamy on the plane one time and I was talking
to him about it.
And he goes, yeah, that was my roots, Main Street Showcase, Bill Bellamy.
I forgot about Bill Bellamy.
Jay Moore, Jay Moore, all those guys were from that part of New Jersey and when Florentine
came in here, him and Norton are from like South Jersey, middle of New Jersey.
They moved to Northern New Jersey on the apartment and they were all Jersey guys, like they're
Jersey guys.
I'm saying, don't take them seriously.
Yeah, right.
He was saying that they took them seriously.
Yeah.
Norton always had that.
It like bothered him.
You're not funny till you move to New York.
Yeah.
Isn't that funny?
Like you have to go to New York to be taken seriously.
If you live in New Jersey or just a hack, you're telling fart jokes and shit, you know?
Those clubs in Jersey are brutal.
I mean, Bananas is the one I fought with.
And it's brutal.
You do comedy at a ping-pong table.
Do you want a Poughkeepsie?
I did the one in Poughkeepsie.
I did that one.
A couple of times.
That's in a ballroom, Lee.
Yeah.
And the next, it's next to a gas station.
That's as good as a gas dog.
And they put you in a downstairs room and when I tell you it's fucking freezing, it's
fucking freezing.
They got one diner in the lobby and it's the worst food you've ever eaten in your life.
Even if they give you the 30% off, you'd rather fucking starve to death.
That's how bad that place is.
And you're stuck up there for two fucking nights next to a gas station.
That's it.
I worked up there with Tony V.
Do you know Tony V?
Fuck yeah.
I worked up there with Tony V.
I was the middle.
He was the headliner.
And some lady kept flashing the light while I was on stage.
I was supposed to do like, I don't know, 25 minutes or something like that.
And I had like 10 or 15, she's flashing the light.
And I did, I ignored it.
I just did my set.
I got off stage and she goes, okay, I don't know if you know how we do it here, but you
can't do that language at this club.
And I remember saying it like, what are you talking about?
I was, I was laughing.
I was already moved into New York.
I was already like, I was already getting work, I already had Sussman as a manager.
I was like, what?
And she was like, you're going to have to change your actor.
I go, no, I'm not.
I go, what are you, the manager here?
I go, I got booked here.
I got booked here by the owner of the club.
I go, I'm going to do my act.
They know what my act is.
I go, you don't like it.
So you want me to change?
And like she looked at me and, you know, like she didn't expect that.
And I just raised my eyebrows and I just walked away.
And then I just finished out the weekend and she never spoke a fucking word to me again.
She didn't say hi.
She didn't look at me.
Isn't that great when you have to fucking, once I, yeah, once I get something on her.
Everyone saw you had to drop a bomb on a motherfucker and they'll just look at you like, what?
She was talking to me like she was the manager at Wendy's and I was the fry boy.
She's like, I don't know if you know how this works here.
You know, like she's like the lady that takes the tickets.
You know how those, the clubs, they're all in a hotel, you know, like bananas was in
a hotel, right?
Yeah, both of them, both of them.
So she just decided she didn't like my act, you know, because I talked about sex.
So she's just decided that I was going to have to change my act.
I don't know.
I'll just, I'll never forget her face.
I don't know if you know how we do it here, but you're, you can't do with that language
here.
Fuck.
Let me tell you something.
It's amazing.
Those people.
I did the week one time.
I was dumb enough to take a week because I was a coked out fucking savage at the Houston
little club.
The little club?
The little club on the south side.
Oh, that's the one that Ralph used to do.
Yes.
Yeah.
So they put you up in a hotel.
Nowhere, right?
It's like, it's out there.
It is.
Somebody else took it over now.
They sold it and somebody else took it over.
That club was there for a long time.
They got a different type of audience than West Gray.
Let's just say it was completely different than the last stop.
So I went, I went there one Sunday night and the owner was there and I did my set and he
goes, when do you want to get booked?
He and I go, you know, I call Pete.
I go, Pete, you mind?
He goes, no, no, no.
Take the week.
I took the Thursday Friday and Saturday.
I get the heat.
I do the Thursday night.
He's not there.
The wife is there.
So the same thing fucking happened right before I go on stage and at that time I wasn't.
My head wasn't in it like that.
She came up to me.
She's like, listen, I heard rumors.
Not here.
Here we work spotless clean.
If you say one bad thing, you're fired.
Oh, those fucking people.
Well, guess what?
I shit my pants.
I really did.
And for the first 15 I tried, I struggled.
I was eating death and then I just let loose and they went fucking bananas.
I said, fuck it.
I'll just take the 200 for the night.
I don't give a fuck.
I walked off.
She didn't talk to me.
The next night I came in, the husband was there, I pulled him aside, I go, she didn't
fucking know.
She goes, I explained to her last night what happened.
I'm sorry, Danny, that was his name.
I'm sorry.
I go up there and right there was one of those clubs where right here is the stage and people
actually take their drinks and they're looking at you like this and 20 minutes into my fucking
show, I'm looking at this couple and I'm looking at her and she's fucked up, Joe Rogan.
She's fucked up and I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ.
And finally I keep checking on like every eight minutes and she's getting deeper and
deeper.
She's closing one eye.
I'll just take close to one eye.
They're fucked up.
And finally I go, so I'll go like this and she covers her mouth and the puke, no, no,
no, no, no, the puke starts shooting out every box of sideways.
Like a fucking, what's that thing the kids play in?
Like a sprinkler, but just awkward chunks and then she just let it all out and she sat
there for five minutes, puke all over herself.
Bro, nobody paid.
Everybody got up like somebody was shooting.
Everybody thought terrorists were shooting in the club.
Everybody got up and started running for the fucking door.
They had to stop people.
She had a puddle of barf around where the boyfriend left her there.
The boyfriend just got up and walked out and he didn't know nothing.
There's a hundred.
I don't know nothing.
You didn't see me with me.
Give me back my credit card.
I never went back there again.
Once somebody pukes on stage, I can't hang out with you no more.
It's amazing like the bad advice they give you early on in your stand-up career.
I want to shoot them all in the fucking head.
They always tell you you can't make it if you're dirty.
They tell you can't make it.
I can't remember how many times I heard that.
What is this fucking pipe?
Holy shit.
Somebody gave me that in Cleveland.
That's the savage stuff.
That's crazy.
We only thought about for special occasions.
That's amazing.
Oh my god.
Do the people at home see this thing?
That thing is fucking tremendous.
Who did this work?
Somebody in Cleveland gave it to me.
It's a whole industry, like a whole art form now.
Glass pipe art form industry, I mean there's amazing artists that are just doing glass
art.
I got another one at the house.
The kid gave me that.
I don't even want to smoke out of it.
It's so beautiful.
I need a picture.
That's the savage.
That's the original right there.
He's missing the tooth.
He don't give a fuck.
What kind of advice did they give you for someone puking on you when you're on stage?
They didn't say nothing.
They can't give you advice for that.
There was no advice.
I walked off the stage and knew I wasn't going to be ever there, ever again, you understand
me?
That's what I knew for sure.
Look at me go.
There's some places you fucking go and you know you're never going to go back to.
They would just tell you like, they would give you advice, like when you're young you start
now.
Like say if you're a young guy and you were a family member prior.
Let me know the people who pulled you over.
Everybody.
That you look at today and go, what's happening?
I don't want to say their names because they never made it.
They never made it.
The guy that did make it that had already made it at the time who gave me the opposite
advice was Lenny Clark.
It's funny because his brother Mike was a booking agent who's a great guy.
Mike Clark, that guy paid my rent fucking many, many, many, many times with his gigs
because he was one of the guys that he had a lot of satellite rooms.
He had giggles and sagas on Route 1 and he had a few outside rooms and he would book
his brother Lenny and Lenny was on HBO.
He had done Rodney Dangerfield special.
Lenny was a big comic.
He had done a bunch of movies.
Lenny was big and this is before Lenny's sitcom and when he had that sitcom and I opened up
for Lenny's at Jays and Pittsfield, Massachusetts.
It was in Western Massachusetts.
It was way out there, like two and a half, three hours away from Boston and people loved
it there because it was a real stage and they had real comedy there.
They had Lenny Clark when Lenny Clark was big and I went up and I opened up for Lenny.
Lenny was the second paid gig I ever got in my life and I got off stage and Mike Clark
said, buddy, you're fucking funny but I can't book you.
You're too dirty and he goes, that bit you do about Madonna, you can't do that.
It's funny but you got to clean it up.
You got to clean it up and so Lenny comes off stage right after his brother gives me
advice.
Lenny goes off stage and he goes, kid, you're fucking hilarious.
He goes, don't change a thing.
Holy shit.
Had me laughing my balls off and he goes, Lenny, I just told him to stop doing that
bit.
He goes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you should probably stop doing it.
It's going to be hard to get work but fuck kid, you're funny.
And it was like good advice and bad advice and I listened to Lenny.
I was like, you know, his brother's a great guy and everything like that but Lenny is
Lenny Clark.
So to have Lenny Clark tell you you're funny, I was like, wow, that was huge for me but
his brother was giving me bad advice.
He's like, but he wanted me to work.
But that was the thing back then, it was in 1989 or 1988.
Back then you couldn't work if you were dirty.
Like there was no work.
Everybody wanted to get on The Tonight Show.
There was a few HBO specials that had been given out like Dick Inneson and a few other
people but you ought to be somebody to get those.
If you wanted to be dirty, you ought to be somebody already.
So what it was was a lot of these guys who were quote unquote dirty, they would have
clean sets that they would do on The Tonight Show or Letterman or whatever and then they
would have a few dirty bits that they would reserve for a nightclub and they would close
with those bits.
And so if they ever did an HBO special, that's when they would do those.
I knew I had to be dirty three years in, like I was just lying to myself.
People come up to me with that fucking bullshit and I gave it a New York try.
I tried it.
I tried it but it just didn't work out for me.
I don't, I'm not going to ask you to do a joke but like what was a clean premise for
you?
I don't really know a clean premise for you to be honest.
That's old weed.
Oh is it?
All right.
A clean premise in those days was, oh Jesus Christ.
A clean premise.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
A clean premise in those days was a Godzilla.
Oh look at that.
Oh look at that.
What would Godzilla do?
Oh you got to look at this thing.
You guys are advanced here.
What would Godzilla do if he came back into the Hudson?
You know, that was terrible.
That was terrible.
It was brutally terrible.
I had a thing about a ship going into the Hudson.
I had a thing about speakers.
You could put them back in the windows because bowls, something electric.
It was just a horror show.
It was a fucking horror show.
You know.
I can't imagine you making electronic jokes.
Joey used to try to be clean in the early days when I first saw him.
It was a nightmare.
Because Joey was trying to deal with agents and managers.
When you first moved to LA.
Oh my god.
We first became friends.
Yeah, you were dealing with all those people.
It was a nightmare.
And one day you go, you know what?
It really doesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter.
It really doesn't matter.
As long as you're you.
How did you figure it out?
Because I always wondered that.
Because you figured it out and there was like a big turnaround.
Like one day you just stopped giving a fuck.
It was weird.
It was a series of events.
It was that I wasn't dating that dirty.
You got the lighter over there?
I wasn't dating that dirty bitch anymore.
That clears your mind at 30%.
I had let go a lot of shit that was fucking scaring the shit out of me in LA.
And that's 60% of your problem right there.
Everybody who had me locked in bullshitting me that you needed to do this and needed to
do that.
And all of a sudden I'm watching you and I'm watching these guys that are clean.
And they make me laugh.
But they're not making me laugh like the guys that are real.
That took a different fucking animal.
I remember us having conversations about it.
Yeah.
Where you were like, ah, you could go do that.
I got to, you know, there's people watching me.
Yeah, no, no, no.
It was scary.
It was scary for no reason.
It was just the bullshit that they put into your head that you can't and you can't.
There's no reason, but it was holding you back.
Absolutely.
Because people could see when you're faking the funk.
Well, not just that.
Like even once you started killing, it was still holding you back.
Like there was still a lot of agents and managers that had a bad opinion of you.
Oh, listen, they're going to, they're going to say whatever you want to say until you
deliver the goods.
That's exactly what I figured out.
I was talking to Tommy Easter today and I go, Tommy Easter, let me tell you something.
You could be the funniest guy in this town.
You go in a comedy story every night and fucking destroy that room, even though they're going
to see Dane Cook, Eliza Slashinger.
It doesn't matter.
You could destroy that room.
Nothing matters in this business, just like the mafia.
The size of the envelope on Friday.
That's when they pay attention to you.
That's when all those naysayers, they eat their words and they jump on the ship with
you.
Well, what's interesting is those people are almost useless now.
Useless.
For a young comic.
It's, it's, it's, this has changed.
Yeah.
This has changed.
And let me tell you something.
I know you hate this talk, but this is the reality of it because you're an intelligent guy.
In 2007, there was a writer strike and these motherfuckers played games for six or seven
months and reality TV crept in.
There's about to be another writer strike May 7th.
Listen.
And if these motherfuckers play games.
The internet is going to fuck them up.
Well, where it's not going to fuck them up is things like Game of Thrones or things like
House of Cards, like things where you need a lot of money to shoot them.
Well, listen, let me tell you something.
When the, when the going gets rough, you put together one of these late night shows with
Brendan and Eddie lighting himself on fire or whatever from eight to 11 and put a band
behind you.
People are going to watch it, dog.
The internet's going to change the fucking game.
If these motherfuckers fuck around on TV, if these motherfuckers don't settle this, this
goes on like the one in 2007.
You think Periscope didn't see this coming and all these fucking companies didn't see
this coming?
Yeah.
But don't you think the writers probably have a point?
Oh, the writers always have a point.
No, the writers.
Without them, there's nothing.
The writers always have a point.
But listen, it's 2017, bitch.
He will hesitate masturbate.
This fucking machine over here has been growing since you turned me on to it.
It's nothing but a wealth of information and growth that machine.
And more people turn to that.
You know, I don't, I don't do this.
I don't do this because I'm an idiot.
But people watch movies on their phones.
Yeah.
They do.
Do you ever see it on their fucking phones?
On planes.
Okay, my friend.
Yeah.
Don't watch anything on there.
Content is endless now.
Content is endless.
You don't need cable or TV no more.
You got a phone.
If you're broke, if you're a brokester and you got an iPhone and you're trying to work
things out in your life, you don't need, you could stream Showtime.
You could stream HBO.
You could stream IFC.
And you can see almost everything.
Everything.
YouTube just came out with a, like everyone's coming out with an online cable service or
TV service.
But YouTube is, is the best one out there for so far.
It's 30 bucks a month and you get, you get, I don't, you don't get every channel, but
you get a ton of, you get a ton of DVR.
So it's starting to be where you don't even need anything.
Let them fuck around.
Keep fucking around.
Keep it up.
You're going to figure this out and go, wait a second.
I got a good idea for this.
I got a good idea for that.
Two cameras, two GoPros and Periscope and a drummer.
And you got yourself entertainment jack for whoever people watch it.
People at home craving this.
Our audience is not from seven to 10 no more than it was 20 years ago.
Sorry.
It's people from seven to five.
It's IT people.
It's people working gas stations.
It's people working construction with earphones on.
It's fucking amazing.
The, the loaders at the airplane planes, they waved the other day.
I'm trying to get on the fucking plane.
They waved a couple of weeks ago.
Yeah, it's weird, right?
It's very weird.
So it's gone to a different fucking level now.
This is what we're doing is growing every month.
Well, no one would ever allow you to do this.
No, there's no, there's no, there's no executive in this town that would have ever said, here's
what you need to do, Joey.
No, they wouldn't have a camera pointing at you.
You start smoking pot and just talk shit.
Nobody believed you.
Nobody would believe you.
And it's that easy.
It's that fucking easy.
It is for you.
It's not that easy for everybody.
Well, they listen, man.
But it's a shot.
You have a shot with this.
When Marin first went to his management and said he was starting a podcast, they laughed
at him.
Yeah.
That's the reality of it, you know?
Yeah.
This is something that they didn't know was coming.
They're going, they're sitting, having meetings right now.
What are we going to do?
How are we going to get a piece of this out?
Well, I know that some podcasts are sagging.
You know that, right?
They have those acting podcasts.
Really?
How do they do that?
We read a play.
No.
Fuck yeah.
They have series.
Oh, well, series is huge.
Huge.
Huge.
I firmly believe that the future of entertainment is audio.
I honestly do.
Because it gives you so much more, you're so much more accessible to them.
Like that you can have them for the drive.
You have them throughout the work day.
And then even at home, how many people do you see when they're watching TV just playing
on their phone throughout the entire episode and they are absorbing what's happening through
audio?
I honestly think there's going to be a lot.
I've always loved audio.
Oh, it's perfect.
I think people don't listen enough.
I love audio.
I grew up on Richard Pryorounds.
We grew up listening.
We have specials.
I grew up listening to George Carlin.
I grew up listening to, I didn't watch fucking Freddie Prince on TV with a special.
How many specials did we see later on?
Delirious, Rodney's Young Comedians, but that came later on.
Well, there's definitely a good market for audio, but there's always going to be a market
for people watching things too.
And if you're talking about people that are sitting down with their phones while they're
watching a TV show, that's so silly.
People that do that are so silly.
You're playing with your phone while you're watching The Walking Dead or something like
that.
It's so dumb.
I hate it.
I don't do it.
It's just people who are super, super distracted and childish with the way they look at things
if you're doing that.
Unless it's a bad show or unless you're watching a talk show or something like that.
But it just seems to me that if you're going to watch a really good show, you should put
your phone down and sit down and watch that thing.
If you're going to watch House of Cards, have you ever watched that Kevin Spacey show?
It's a fucking great show.
But there's a lot of really good shows.
And I think, I don't think audio is the future of entertainment.
I think it has a future.
It has a future.
But it's not the future because there's always going to be people that want to see things.
Oh, I'm not saying video is going away.
Obviously, video is great.
But when the name of the game is advertisers and advertising money, that's the end goal
for all of this.
If you're losing people for eight hours a day, like I think what's great about these
podcasts is the people like middle class and low are really listening to it.
There are higher level people doing it.
But if you can't listen during the day, you're probably a little bit out of the loop.
Podcast wise, you would think.
So if you can't watch video during the day, you don't have all those ads.
I just think there's going to be a lot more of that scripted podcast reality.
I think there's going to be everything because you have so much more access.
Yeah, you have a lot of possibilities.
How many people do you think are really listening throughout the day?
That's all I did when I came here.
That's how I found Joey through your podcast.
I was listening all day at my job.
Right.
But isn't that unusual to have a job that allows you to do that?
How usual is that?
You go on a plane.
There's people watching a movie, typing with earphones on.
Okay.
In today's market, people have an assignment or they have to type a report.
They have you on.
They're not watching you on YouTube, but they're listening to you.
They're listening to Bill Byrd.
They're listening to NPR.
They're listening to the Comedy Central podcast.
They're listening.
They have 40 fucking hours to kill on that fucking computer gaining hemorrhoids by the day.
You know what I'm saying?
They listen to two podcasts.
They get up.
They go for a walk.
They smoke a cigarette.
They drink a cup of coffee.
They do a little work to listen to another podcast.
If you're a night security guy, you work fucking all those hours at night.
You're lonely in a car sitting there.
That's how you listen.
So if we're reaching an hour and a half a piece, two hours, you got a lot of time at night to listen to podcasts.
We're the kings of the third crew, Joe Rogan.
Yeah.
Right?
We are the kings of the third crew.
That worked midnight to eight, whether they're in Australia, China, New Jersey, California.
That's who listens to this while they're stocking fucking trucks, you know, fucking product to the supermarket.
You look at the supermarket at two in the morning, and the guys are stocking.
They got earphones on with the black gloves, and they put ice cream in the cases.
They listen to everything.
The Jim Norton's podcast.
Listen to Opie and Jimmy.
You know, whatever the fuck with Jimmy and whatever they listen to the dude that used to be on there.
It's amazing how much of a catalog they have to choose from.
The first guy who ever recognized me was a sign spinner by my job.
I was walking across the street.
He was spinning.
He went to the ice house a couple of times.
I think he was going to try to be a comic.
But yeah.
That's funny.
The ice spinner would be the perfect guy.
That's hilarious.
This has gone to places where it's, you know, you look at your map at the end of the month and you see where the people are listening to this across the world.
Wow.
And you go, what the fuck?
You know, like when Ari said he went to China, he said, 200 people showed up and they all listened to the podcast.
They're working for somebody over at Apple.
They work for Apple or something like that over there.
Apple has Foxconn.
That's over in China, right?
Yeah.
That's where they make the phones.
That's the place that has the nets.
That's the place that has the nets keep people from jumping off the roof.
Do you know about that place?
Yeah, yeah.
But how many people actually jumped?
Enough that they made nets.
This is just one guy.
When you, when you put nets up and building the cell phone makes you do it.
They live there.
They live there.
They work there.
They have dorms.
They stay in the dorms.
They work all day.
It's scary.
I mean, it's, it's a step above being a slave and people tell you it's a lot better than what they used to have because they didn't have any opportunity.
And this is just how industry works.
The way people describe it, they're trying to justify it.
They say, this is just how industry works.
Industry works.
You come into an incredibly deeply impoverished area and you provide them with a way out like something or a better way.
And so that better way of working 16 hours a day, people could argue, yeah, they're working $16 a day for a dollar a day.
Yeah, or whatever the wage they get, which is substantially lower than whatever they make here.
I might be exaggerating.
You can probably Google it.
Like how much does a Foxconn employee get per hour?
But they say that that's how they're able to make these phones because they can make them in these factories where the people don't get paid as much.
But there's a bunch of people that jump off the roof.
Like they have to put fences and nets all around the roof.
They have nets to catch people like it's bananas.
And when they talk about it, you know what they say?
They say there's so many employees at work.
There's like a half million employees and the suicides are directly proportional to how many.
If that was like a population of a city that makes sense.
That amount of people always kill themselves, but they don't do it at work and they live there.
How many is it?
It's a little old, but it was like $12 a day.
You're going to get like 400 a month.
Wow.
That's dark.
There was some do last night on 60 minutes.
Pretty interesting.
There was two do it.
It's a guy who invented the Greek yogurt.
Yeah.
He needed $700,000 and he saw a factory open up in New York and he went to these people
and he borrowed the money and he bought the, what's the hot Greek yogurt now?
I don't know.
I know you're talking about it.
You know what I'm talking about?
Tremendous.
Then he had to buy a plant in Twin Falls, Idaho and he hired, what he hires is his refugees.
He gives them jobs and people got pissed off at them.
They called and this guy donated 10% of the factory to his employees.
They get 10% of the earnings every month from the company.
They break it up among like company sharing and all this shit.
It was pretty interesting.
That story was interesting and there was another one about a guy who's saying that these phones
are programmed to program you.
Huh?
You got to watch this.
How does that work?
I was too deep for Uncle Joey.
How does that work?
This guy's saying that the industry is programming you through computers and through the phone.
There's explanation.
You got to hear it when you get a minute.
It was on last night.
Can you find out how much an iPhone would cost if they made it in the United States?
I can Google it.
Yeah.
Google that.
Just had a curiosity.
So how much would an iPhone cost there now?
Well, what they cost now, I think a new one.
$12 a day they get paid.
I think a new iPhone, if you buy it in America is like $1,000 somewhere in that range.
No.
Yeah.
But you know the cell phone company subsidizes it.
Retail it to 1,000.
You get it for 200 because Sprint wants you to...
Well, they subsidize it.
Yeah.
Not subsidize it.
What's the word I'm looking for?
They make like a lease and they put it over the term of the contract.
So they spread out the amount of money that you're getting paid or that you're paying
for the phone.
So if you're going to pay 600 bucks for the phone, they spread it out over three years.
So you have a three-year contract.
So like you can get it for like $200 off.
And so it looks great.
It looks great.
But it's just factored into your monthly bill.
Right.
And you have them for like three years.
I tried to pay the phone.
They were like, no, they gave me an iPhone.
Yeah, they don't want to do that.
They don't want to do that.
They don't want to do that.
It's probably more valuable to them.
And then also you can't leave.
I guess you can leave if you have like a phone that is...
What's the word?
Unlocked.
Unlocked.
Unlocked.
Jailbroken.
No, no, I don't think it's that.
I think it's unlocked.
Jailbroken is when you get into it and you can fuck with it, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So it says that if all the components were made in the U.S., it would personally cost
up to $600, which they think would retail it for $2,000.
I would say it'd be like $1,000 more.
Wow.
Hmm.
We got to pay what?
A lot more in fucking wages.
Yeah.
More than $12 a day, more like fucking $200 a day.
Yeah, probably more than that, right?
What's a union wage for a factory worker in America?
You know, and then people say, well, the cost of living is less over there.
Like, okay, but so is the standard of living, you know?
I don't know, man.
I'm not...
I'm no perfect person.
I don't...
And where is this where they make these phones at?
China.
A certain city in China, like a real fucking...
I don't know.
I don't know enough about it.
I probably should know more.
But it's one of the dark things about the cell phone industry.
I think they said the new one, they're going to make somewhere else.
Why did I read...
Did I read that somewhere?
That they're going to make the new cell...
They changed suppliers of something recently.
I don't know.
Let's see.
Is it Canada?
Did I read that the new iPhone will be made in Canada?
Did I read that or am I making shit up?
I can Google that next.
It says the average assembly line worker makes about $13 an hour.
Wow.
That's not a lot.
I thought it'd be a lot more for a warehouse worker.
Like $16, $18.
Isn't it crazy that if you paid them that, just paying them that, the cell phone would cost another $1,000.
Now you know what really kills me?
That people jump off buildings, you know, slave labor.
People don't give a fuck when it comes to Apple.
They just don't give a fuck.
They really don't give a fuck.
Who killed?
Who died?
You know, people stop giving diamonds because somebody suffered.
Tons of people suffer with those fucking iPhones.
Nobody gives a fuck.
Every time I walk to a different city and I walk in that mall and that Apple store, it's
packed, Jack.
At whatever time you walk past the fucking mall, that Apple store, they're fucking just
that, those registers are ringing.
How I haven't heard of somebody going into an Apple store with 20 guns.
The Kim Kardashian style is behind me, beside me.
If I was 22 today, like as crazy as I was, I'd be taking down those Apple stores.
I don't think anyone needs the cash.
You don't need the cash.
I'd take all that fucking merch within eight minutes.
I'd get it down to the guys like in heat.
Get down to a fucking stopwatch.
Everybody down.
Nobody wants to get hurt.
I don't want to shoot nobody's fucking latte.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't want to shoot nobody's kale salad.
Everybody down.
That's so funny.
You take their iPhones.
You take all the iPhones and stuff.
Somebody should be doing this shit.
Nobody's doing this shit.
Everybody's scared to pieces.
All these phones are locked in.
You could never sell them or use them.
They're all locked into different contracts.
They sell phones that are Verizon phones.
They sell phones that are AT&T phones.
You have to tell them when you buy it at the Apple store.
What carrier are you?
Okay, let's see if we have that.
They go get, they bring it back.
If you just bought a bunch of phones, good luck activating them.
They have the serial numbers for all the phones.
You show up in Chinatown with a thousand iPads.
You want to see those things cook like boogie?
iPads would be a different thing.
It would be a different thing.
I show up in Chinatown with a hundred iPads, watch them boogie.
Those motherfuckers show up with cash and take them out of the tea kettle.
You understand me?
Yeah, that's bullshit.
There's some little Chinese kid somewhere that's decoding fucking phones.
I watch that thing.
I got to disagree with you because you have to sign that thing up to iTunes.
If you sign it up to iTunes, it's going to know what that computer is.
It's going to be able to read that computer.
And if you have a stolen computer, it's going to find out.
Unless you swiped, you wiped the operating system clean and installed some new shit in there and did something.
There's a rush in Glendale.
For ten bucks, he'll scrape a computer brand new.
And your history is shipped over there and they're using your credit card within fucking minutes.
So at the end I watched the hotel room and I couldn't sleep.
I watched where America gets all the worst guns in the world.
You know what I mean?
No.
The Philippines.
We get guns?
Like all those guns without the numbers, like the good guns, the one thing you want to shoot people,
starts in the Philippines in a little hut.
It's a family that's been making 45 since Jesus left Chicago because the 45 was created in the Philippines
to shoot American soldiers or something.
What?
Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can hand make a gun?
These fucking Filipinos.
What do you mean?
You didn't know that?
You got to see this.
No, I figured guns had to have like...
Put on drugs, ink, guns.
Well, do you know who makes guns now?
No.
Jesse James, the motorcycle man.
Yeah, but doesn't he have machines?
Yeah.
But he uses hand like he makes guns.
Like he puts them together.
Yeah, but he cheated on his wife.
I don't trust that motherfucker.
Those guns are backfire.
He's going to pull a job.
All of a sudden the gun fucking jam.
Fuck him.
These Filipinos, these guns go directly to Oakland.
Do they?
Oh my God.
I was watching this.
I'm like, how did I not know this shit?
It's crazy how they make these 45s by hand.
But somebody told me why they did.
The 45 was either for the Hawaiians or the Filipinos.
They were made to either shoot either or...
Or they were to shoot the Americans.
Something fucking crazy.
When you watch all this shit, that's what I know.
Like they show computer theft on here and how they do it.
There's motherfuckers out there that can do anything, bro.
Did you find it?
I found one in Jamaica, not in...
No, no drugs.
In the guns.
I was in shock.
I never knew that.
They make the gun without the...
Serial number?
And how the gun is like drugs.
Like it starts for 300 in the Philippines.
And then a thousand once it gets to the states in Florida.
And then by the time it gets to Oakland, the gun is $1,600.
The same way how it goes across like that.
Look at that picture that outlaw Josie Wills.
Like back then, how did they make guns?
Like what did they use for manufacturing?
Well, back then...
Isn't that wood in between?
Yeah, the wood, the handle and then the bottom piece.
They all had like a...
At least a...
What is it called?
We have like a mold for it.
Yeah, there must have been some kind of mold, right?
It'd be interesting how big the company was that made pistols back then.
Now, who made the shotguns and those?
These are all companies that from these gun things, when you look them up like...
What's the Remington?
Well, no, the Italian gun.
Italian?
What's the name of that Italian shotgun?
Beretta.
Beretta.
Like the Beretta, you know?
That's a family business.
They've been making...
I'm not a mafia business, like an Italian family business.
That's what I meant.
They've been making guns since time immemorial.
So it's like Remington, one of those companies I read.
Smith & Wesson.
Smith & Wesson.
Those guys have been around forever.
This was just the regular fucking whoever.
I'd be interested.
I don't even know what year.
Well, there's a bunch of...
There's a...
Like a West Museum in Bozeman, Montana.
And they have all these old guns there.
And you can go see guns from a long ass time ago.
Pretty sure it was in Bozeman.
Either way, they had guns all the way back to muskets.
And it's wild.
But there were companies.
Now that I'm thinking about it, there's...
I think Remington was probably even around back then.
Winchester.
That was another one.
Like a big name company.
But I'm sure there was some other big name companies that I'm not aware of.
But when you look at that...
You know what's interesting about that?
Looking at Clint Eastwood?
That is supposed to be the 1800s, right?
Like, when did they invent the bullet with the cartridge?
Where it could just load in there like that in a revolver?
I mean, was it even 100 years old?
Well, what year they shoot Abe Lincoln?
That's it.
That's the answer.
That's the question, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, whatever year they shoot Abe Lincoln, that was a revolver.
They shoot him by the muscle?
That was not an old...
That was not an automatic weapon.
1835.
Yeah.
So they've been...
When did they kill Lincoln?
1835.
It was that year?
That was the year of the...
I think...
What was the year Lincoln died?
And what did he get shot with?
Wikipedia, what Lincoln gets shot with?
All right.
Lincoln got shot in 1865.
Yeah.
So 30 years...
Did you say 35 for the first one?
Mm-hmm.
So it was 30 years after the invention of the gun?
You got shot?
You know what?
You want to hear a crazy stat?
Between the invention of the airplane and someone dropping an atomic bomb out of the airplane,
it was less than 50 years.
How crazy is that?
It's fucked up.
It's fucked up.
Mate, Google, when was the invention of the airplane?
Or I could do it too if you're doing something else.
What was that?
I was trying to find the gun you shot with.
The invention of the...
It had to be like a two-shot pistol.
The invention of the plane.
Three-shot pistols.
I don't think the sixth thing was developed.
I could be wrong.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't...
They had guns that you had to put one at a time.
Like one bullet...
Like the musket?
Like, yeah, like you had to open it if it was the one in the round.
You had to put it in there and shoot them.
So the Wright brothers were the ones who...
Essentially, there's a bunch of people working at it,
but they were the ones who invented the airplane.
Yes.
All right.
Pistol.
Just a regular bit.
It just says pistol.
If you had a guess, when do you think they invented the airplane?
Oh, a Philadelphia downer.
Uh, 19...
1735.
I don't fucking know, Joe.
You know I smoked 18 buckets before I got here.
I don't know, 1900?
1903.
Jesus Christ.
Yes.
Can you imagine being that first couple guys?
Nope.
Can I talk to you for a second, man?
Listen, I want you to help me with this thing.
Wow, 1903.
Formal South of Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.
Okay, so if they did that, they invented the airplane in 1903.
And then 1947 was World War II when they dropped the bombs, right?
Wasn't it 47?
Uh, I think it might have been 45.
So think of that.
That's 42 years?
42 years later, they're dropping bombs out of them?
That's fucking insane.
Yeah, August 6th, 1945.
That's insane.
And 70 years later, they had first-class lounges with a piano in them.
Wow.
With a pig that was cooked and you could go up and take the fucking pig with an apple in his mouth.
And a piano player on a plane.
And you'd walk into first class.
I'm kidding.
You'd walk into first class and you had cream and soap and shampoo and you had colognes.
Yeah.
And you could put the colognes on.
And people used to have...
And people used to walk around.
Cigarettes.
Second floor.
You could smoke on planes.
Listen, if you get on a plane and they still got ashtrays, abandon ship, all right?
Well, there was a...
Yeah, okay.
Abandoned.
And there's planes...
There's a ton of them that still got ashtrays.
Then you're sitting there scratching your head, going,
What the fuck am I doing on this plane?
I'll never go back to Paducah again.
An armrest or something?
Yeah, yeah.
Then the armrest.
It's so scary.
There's still planes with cigarette fucking.
There used to be a flight that you could take out of LA that everybody would brag about,
but I never got a chance to do it.
I think it was like the Warner Brothers plane.
I think Warner Brothers, like one of the big studios had a plane and they would...
You could get a flight on it somehow.
I don't remember how it worked.
It was really hard to get, but they did it like big shots and big movie stars and celebrities
and stuff.
They were flying this thing and they would fly you from LA to New York and this thing.
It had like couches and it was set up like a cool nightclub inside.
It was just like people would just lounge.
You get like 50 people on this plane and they would just lounge.
Listen, Led Zeppelin had a fireplace on that plane.
You understand me?
Did they?
You imagine?
A little gas fireplace?
A fucking fireplace.
Did they really?
You're being serious?
No, I'm being serious.
With actual fire?
They had Nixon's plane.
Nixon's plane had fire in it?
They took like a little fireplace where people could sit and drink a whiskey.
They had like Nixon's plane.
They bought like Nixon's plane, a rented...
I don't even want to Google whether or not Nixon's plane actually had a fire.
Like Google Led Zeppelin plane.
See what it says on there?
Tremendous.
I know you guys.
I mean, would a private plane ever be something you would want?
Google fucking Led Zeppelin's plane, all right?
By the way, it's a thousand questions.
Do I want a plane?
Do I look like I want a plane?
I look like Harrison fucking Ford to you.
Would you trust me on a fucking plane?
Yeah, Google whether or not it had a fireplace.
No, just the Led Zeppelin plane.
We'll tell you.
Describe it to you.
Article 70's Rockstar Party plane of Zeppelin.
God.
They were probably bald.
They had a bar.
They had a bar.
Oh, should I have to put this up?
Yeah, watch this.
This is the real deal.
These guys weren't fucking around.
When they came over here in 73, they had the plane.
And that manager, that gangster from England that was shooting people,
he would get off the plane six foot fucking six.
You gotta see this.
Really?
These guys would look at this.
Wow, Led Zeppelin Airlines.
God.
Were they the.
I mean, there's all the plagiarism things, right?
With them, like people still say they stole songs and riffs and stuff like that.
But do you just.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Slow that down.
You want to read it?
Okay.
Yeah.
Bowling refurbished in the early 70s by team Bobby Sherman's manager.
The plane pal in the sky service among others led Zeppelin the stones.
Hey, the top blue dropping 70s.
Dark soup store.
This is keep going.
See what it said on that.
So let me, you want me to read what this is?
This is fascinating.
No, hold on a second.
Scroll that down.
Look what they're saying here.
Let's go down.
No.
Sorry.
So look at this.
Probable inspiration for Austrian power.
Shagadelic 747.
The starship brimmed with gaudy cheek delights.
There was a bedroom with a king size waterbed.
A drawing room with a fake fireplace.
A 30 foot brass trim bar with a built in electric organ.
A prehistoric video system stocked with everything from deep throat to duck soup and two stewardesses
to cater the velvet trousered minstrels fresh from their Madison Square Garden gigs.
Holy shit.
Oh my God.
Look at this.
This is their plane.
They're hanging out with Elton John.
He's playing the organ.
Wow.
It was a flying fucking gym palace.
Richard Cole.
Look at that.
Look at him with his shirt off.
Look at Robert Plant.
Did he ever have a shirt buttoned?
Look at all these guys who rocked it.
They just left their shirt wide open.
That was how you rocked it if you were a rock star.
They never did a sit up in their life.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Do you want to look at the gallery or do you want to look at the picture of them?
Never did a sit up in his life on the left.
Never did a sit up in his right arm.
It was just straight cocaine and fucking.
That was straight cocaine then.
But they were just gods.
They were like rock gods.
I mean think about what those guys represented back then.
You could see their cocks pressed against their pants.
That was all.
Yeah.
That was that.
And then the fourth one.
No shirt and everybody's cock is tilted towards their left.
We'll see them.
They're all three.
One of them.
Second to the right is Jimmy Page is bucking the trend.
Yeah.
Led Zeppelin was the first.
Jimmy's got his dick going the other direction.
Look at this.
Led Zeppelin was the first to lease the plane after a white knuckle flight from Oakland
to Los Angeles.
And a tiny Falcon 20 business jet terrorized the entourage.
Oh, so they got a little tiny plane for a while, and they almost died.
One time Led Zeppelin suffered from almost really bad press, Rolling Stones suggested
the band changed its name to Limp Blimp, and it was thought that Starship might earn the
group some respect.
It was an extremely useful tool because inviting a journalist onto the plane, the story kind
of wrote itself, said Danny Goldberg, Led Zeppelin's publicist for the tour, who had
been hired to gin up positive coverage, the novelty value was significant.
So listen to what that's like, they were saying that Rolling Stones weren't getting
any respect.
Rolling Stones never gave Led Zeppelin no respect.
That doesn't make any sense.
Yeah.
How did they hate Led Zeppelin?
Hold on.
Like, if you hear a whole lot of love, how could you hate that?
They fucking panned all the albums.
How could they pan that?
So they had to eat shit at the end because it doesn't really fucking matter.
Dude.
When I first heard Led Zeppelin, I was 14 years old or 13 years old, somewhere around
then.
It was when I first moved to Boston.
That's when I first become, there was a girl that lived up the street, they used to kind
of molest everybody, let everybody let her, like she was 21 and we were all like teenagers
and she made out with like everybody.
But she had great taste in music.
And she introduced me to AC DC.
She introduced me to, the first song I ever heard from Led Zeppelin was Black Dog.
It blew your fucking mind.
It blew mine.
I couldn't believe what they were saying.
Yeah.
I was like, wow.
And then I saw the poster and I'm like, wait a second, these guys are fucking crazy.
They were doing something powerful.
That's for sure.
Like the fact that Rolling Stone didn't like them back then is so strange.
I wonder what it was.
Listen, man, they put those things on YouTube and I watched them and I got a little sad.
They put the comparisons between songs.
Oh, the same.
They're the same songs.
And I got a little sad, you know?
And I know what they were thinking, you know, but the trial that happened six months ago
was really fucking crazy because even me, it was Led Zeppelin lover.
I could tell that there was something, something, I could hear something there.
It's when I first heard that song from that fucking white dude and I'm like, this is fucking
Marvin Gaye's song.
How is this that Marvin Gaye's song?
I grew up on this fucking song.
I know it a mile away.
100%.
And all of a sudden, a year later, Marvin Gaye's estate, Marvin Gaye's estate did not fuck
around.
Yeah.
Marvin Gaye's estate was handled by his son, who it was minus 40 fucking million in taxes
and the grapes and then he cut it up.
Remember the California grapes?
I heard it through the grapevine.
That and the fucking albums he kept putting out.
He took all the wrong songs out of the vault.
His son turned that around and his son was a savage.
So as soon as I heard that song, but with the Led Zeppelin, the stairway to heaven,
they were guilty.
They were guilty of a couple.
But I will tell you something.
There's not a fucking jury to correct them.
Why not?
Why not?
Yeah.
I mean, they can't.
Well, I'd stay with heaven for a second.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm going to tell you why not.
I'm going to tell you why not because this is how it got me.
This is how I answered it in my head.
I was thinking about it and it came out in the fucking car.
My wife was in the car and all of a sudden, I got goosebumps and I thought my head was
going to blow up because they stole it.
But there's one thing about this and I know you.
The other night, what was the song we were singing as we walked into the fucking theater?
What was that?
What was that song we were singing?
Keep putting on Led Zeppelin, the stairway to heaven.
What was that song we were singing?
How long have you heard that song in your life?
What song was it?
Do you remember?
Because free the people to give my soul.
I want to give lots in your pocket and what does that song do to you?
What does that song do to you?
You've heard that song since you were a kid.
Your mom played it.
Somebody played that jam.
Fast forward this lead to the guitar solo.
Fast forward.
How far is that?
Three minutes.
Just play with it.
A little more.
Two minutes.
Keep going a little, just a little, thirty seconds.
And I didn't figure it out till then.
Leave it right there.
Just listen to this Joe Rogan.
You're in your car.
You're driving up the coast.
Just those lyrics.
We've been listening to that since we were twelve, bro.
It's a part of who the fuck we are.
It's a part of who America is.
Just to find America when people were crying about the Beatles and waiting for the Beatles
to get back.
This saved.
This was it.
This was the band day.
You can't take that band day.
I was like, they can't, they can't overrule this.
No jewelry.
No, keep it, keep it, keep it, keep it.
Just listen to this power.
This is real power.
This is part of who the fuck we are.
Yeah, no, it's beautiful.
This is just beautiful.
It is.
So you can.
No jewelry.
They go, you know what?
Yeah, but here's the thing.
Part of it came from those other people.
This is just.
It's like going out.
It's like a high school diploma dog.
And here's the ham brother guys.
Are you fucking kidding me?
And if it was the number one most requested song in America for 20 fucking years in a
row, did you know that number one most requested song right here, the thunder and the drums.
And if it was the number one most requested song in America for 20 fucking years in a row,
did you know that number one most requested song in America for 20 fucking years in a row,
did you know that number one most requested song in America for 20 fucking years in a row,
did you know that number one most requested song in America for 20 fucking years in a row,
did you know that number one most requested song in America for 20 fucking years in a row,
Go to go to Led Zeppelin's stole songs
You could do the good show in the comparison because the person who told me about this was Burr
He called me up and where he goes dude. It'll break your heart
It'll break your heart
When you hear it'll break out. They fucking stole they stole like a million different songs. Yeah, your glasses your own. Yeah, I do
What do you need
Oh
My god, who are you choking there? No, I'm not choking that kid's God is tight
Look at the size of me. Look at the size of him. That's hilarious
That's a good you're a good guy to work guard with Jesus Christ like work sweeps with and shit. Oh my god, you know and these guys they fucking
Like if you somebody could sweep you
And it's a totally different kind of working out I
I love it. It's the best. I love it. It's such a good balls off
I could smell the weed such a good way to work out. You know, did you find that video? I think so. Yeah, that's like two different things
Yeah, parents
Let's listen I
Think this is Taurus. Yeah, this is not Led Zeppelin folks
So stop and think about it. Do you think they stole?
Fuck yeah, they did
Come on
I'm not a musician. No, no, I don't understand. Do you know anything about chord progression Lee? Do you know what?
Yeah, he knows I don't know that existed. You play that too, but I see this is where we need Eddie Bravo
Eddie Bravo could explain to us what that sounds like like what what what the how it's the same song now
This is let's have a let's have one
It's the same song
Oh the first album is covered with stolen shit. This is actually a little better. Yeah, no, no, no
This is in their mind, but they did steal it. They heard it. I don't when they played together. Yeah
Well, they look let's just call it what it is. You know, it's it's stealing. It doesn't mean
That's I just chose one first stairway to heaven so I can get another one, but you know, I think if you look at
The who they were they were amazing
I mean their finished product like what they were able to put together was fucking amazing and whether it came out of those four guys
Heads or those four guys heads and some other people's heads, too
It's the the effort the common of effort of those artists to put all that music together and make these insane songs
The real problem is somebody didn't get credit for it. That's the real problem
The real problem is somebody didn't get paid, you know, and they definitely used it for their end products
so if you looked at it like say if you had a car you're putting together a car and
There's a bunch of different components. There's a transmission. There's the engine
But they want to put your transmission in, you know, but they don't want to pay you for your designs
They just copy it and put it in there and then you find out. Hey, but this is all my engineering
I did all this research and development. All you did is copy it exactly. They should they're supposed to say yeah, you're right
Here's some money and then the question would be well how much money did they deserve?
That's the problem because they probably deserve a
Fuck lord
That's how many times they play them in concert. It's kind of oh, it's kind of they got forensic fucking people in there
It would be insane
So it wouldn't just be a matter of a little bit of money. It'd be a matter of economy changing money
So it's gonna be hard to get someone to sign off on it and for probably you I
Mean, I don't understand too much about how the legal system works
But I would imagine that the lawyers that represent Led Zeppelin must be out of this fucking world
Yeah, no, they're big time. That's the that's that's the record label. Oh, they sell their soul the same
Yeah, you would be you would be betting against the most ruthless savages in the history
So listen man, actually they fuck. Oh, no, relax. They rob people
To death the music industry. Did you ever read that court and love article that she wrote where she explained?
She broke down the music industry. No, she broke down what everybody gets paid. It's really well-written
It's so well-written that they thought they accused somebody else of writing it and she was a she got a ghost writer
That's how well-written it is
Because it goes into detail about how artists get fucked and how musicians get fucked and where all the music goes or the
Where the money rather for the music goes and how little of it actually makes it down to the artist
And this is back when they were selling records now
It's it's weird because right now the touring is where I guess the artists make their money
And Joe you said that you don't think someone a court would find them
I think if they got the right jury like a younger a younger jury who didn't have as much attachment to Led Zeppelin
I think they might see it from that point of view like they I think it's well known now that
Artists don't make that much money from their music anymore. So I think like some people might I mean they tried to what they said
They stole this in 1970
That was that was the problem right there that it was
47 fucking years ago
47 years of Owen the millions of dollars millions of dollars like you were talking for that song
You might be talking like five hundred million dollars or something crazy. It might be more than that that might be like conservative
Like you're talking about the the if not the biggest super band one of the biggest super bands of all time
That toured everywhere and you gotta remember in 1973 in this country
We did two billion dollars in music sales. I saw that on the 70s. It was the biggest year tour with everybody was on the road
Everybody from earth one and five the Temptations Led Zeppelin the Stones
Pink Floyd everybody was on the road in those days ever Smith
This was a fucking masterpiece of people Ted Nugent. Did you ever see searching for sugar, man?
No, the one that won the Oscar about the musician
Elvis or something like that. Well, no, he know he um was was huge in South Africa and he never knew it
He was a huge star and there was all these legends about what happened to him and how he died and you know
But he his and his music is good man. It's good. It just for whatever reason it didn't hit in the 1970s
When he released it and so this guy became like a laborer and he worked
Construction and he raised a family and he stuck around but he stepped he still kept like practice in his music
And then one day someone found him
And they couldn't even believe it was him. They thought that he was dead and someone found him and told him. Hey man
You've you've been huge in South Africa forever huge
He was like what and he went over to South Africa like after you've been poor for like 30 years or something like that
You know like literally living in a place where he's got like a wood stove and he's burning fire in the wood stove
Burning logs in there to stay warm. They show him doing this. He goes over South Africa and sells out arenas
They can't even believe it when they see him. They can't believe it. He starts singing songs
They know the words they sing along with him. He's coming back from the dead. It's insane
He's it's more than he's coming back from the dead. It's like this guy was a huge superstar and
He was impoverished like he was like he was almost like
Living a fake life for 30 years. They didn't even know
How do they become a huge in South Africa? They play this music on the radio radio. So one guy found it
Could be could be one guy found it. Sometimes that shit happens
Did he have an album out? Yeah, yeah a couple and he made no money on him. No, they didn't give him a fucking dime
They apparently made he made one that he had a chance to make the second one and he really you know
They they gave it a big push, but it just didn't catch and they don't know why you know
Maybe it was the what the album looked like, you know, maybe it was
People just didn't give it a chance, but it was good. He's a good musician
And after that second album he quit but that music made its way to South Africa. It made me cry
It really did I just like it was I forgot about it. Somebody told me to watch and I have forgotten about now
I watch it. I was getting tears. I was tearing up because I was watching I was like this is this is a
This story is amazing because this story is about this guy that just became this weird sort of humble guy who's really
Philosophical and kind of zen about life and he gave all the money away all the money made Toran after it became huge in South Africa
He gave it away went back to living just like how he was living before
At least that's what they tell you that's the legend. I hope not
Well, you know, I don't know. I mean, maybe he was happier that way
Maybe he just decided that at his age he's in his 60s
At his his age all the sudden becoming this big star and going to South Africa and flying across the world and
Making money and not knowing why you're doing it, you know, and everybody says you're supposed to do it
He didn't like it. I think he just wanted a quiet more peaceful life
And maybe still touring a little bit but damn I bought the album
I bought a whatever he has out there whatever I could buy on iTunes. I think it's one it might be two albums
Make sure he's getting the fucking money
Yeah, they've been taking it from him for the last 30 years. He's got suckers now iTunes comes along and gives you a 40 60 split
I wonder what they would give him in a South Africa for all that all the times they sold his records
Listen, man, I heard something that John Oates Darryl
almost all the notes
In the end of 1990 they had sold eight million records and they both have $50 in their back
Whoa
Would you hear that on?
Eddie trunk
Serious radio that he's gonna release a book now
The music business is as filthy as it gets. I don't get it
We had Danny Brown. I tried to have him explain to me all this mixtape world and how I don't get it
I don't get it. I see an album. I buy an album for $8.99
It sells a million albums. What's that 8.9 million?
I think right. Yeah, 899 million. No, no $8.99 $8.99 cents. Oh, but just say think of $9
It sells a million nine million nine million fucking dollars. How much does the artist get they got like two million?
I wonder the record label. I walked into the weed store today. They were playing Billy Jean
The video that's the first time I saw him. It was last time you saw Billy Jean 15 fucking years ago
I started looking at I thought about the that's when a record label put up
Half a mill for a video. Yeah
A half a fucking okay, you remember when Madonna had that uh like a virgin
No, no like prayer. Is that what it was? I'm Pepsi and she brought them like Jesus. Yeah, people went fucking bananas
You know all of them then then coke or somebody signed Michael Jackson's hair went on fire
Yes, yeah, that's what started that's what started the pain pill addiction
Because when they when he died they realized that whole thing was a wig
Oh, man, he burnt his hair off the whole time. It had been a wig. He had that scars in the back and the whole thing
Wow, they lit him on fire and burnt his hair off. That's why he sued coca-cola whoever was Pepsi coca-cola
Wow, that makes sense. I mean if especially you consider all the chemicals he used to have in his hair
You know an 84. Yeah, so that's what hair spray is super flammable. That's what started the pain
That's when he started telling people he was getting pain in his neck
He couldn't sleep at night. So that's how he was getting all his medication
And then he'd go to these different parties and mingle
Spread the word and they tell him stop by tomorrow. We got a fucking bag of goodies for your house. Wow
And that's what led to him, you know fucking shooting whatever the fuck he was shooting at the end
Well, he was taking tranquilizers at the end. They were they were using like sedatives on him to make him go to sleep
So essentially they were they were um putting him under sedation every night
They were using anesthesia
They were just they were just conking him out like but and I guess when you do that you go out and shit
But you don't really sleep like part of what you need is not just to be unconscious
You need to go through those cycles those cycles in your head and when you're under anesthesia, you're not going through those cycles
I'm not a doctor. No, no, no, I get you. It's like getting surgery
It's like when I got my nose surgery one minute. You're there and then you're gone
You don't remember shit about what happened. You wake up. You don't really know if you're tired or if you slept or not
It's kind of a weird feeling. It is weird. You kind of think about the lights
You see the lights and you can't remember what's going on. So I don't know how they get sedated. I know if you get fucking
Done one time. It's pretty fucking bad for you if you get done
Like if you get anesthesia people watch it people say it's not good
Like these people who get plastic surgery way before the chick died
I had heard about that that there was a problem. Well, there's you know, there's a real problem, apparently
one one things that happens, um, dr. Mark Gordon wrote a paper about it about um trauma
and um sedation long-term effects of sedation for like major operations like heart surgery heart surgery
Something happens where um, it can really fuck with your hormonal system. Like apparently those long-term
Under sedation times when they're they got you under anesthesia for a big operation
Are super fucked like your body does not like it
When your body comes back a lot of people suffer from depression not just from the trauma of the operation itself
but also from the
Disrupt disruptants of your immune system and disrupt your uh, not immune system your hormone system something about
Going under the knife under that long
It does some wacky shit to you and it makes people feel really listless and depressed
And it causes all sorts of like a whole cascade of mental issues and depression
Related issues can come just had a long term. It's anesthesia
Once in a while, what are you angry about okay? I'm not angry about anything. No, it's just
It must like when you go have surgery doesn't the anesthesiologist have to like they have a person there with you the whole time
That's not what we're saying. No, but what I'm like didn't Michael Jackson just get that and they let him sleep
Like it's like it's dangerous like what you're saying is yeah, that's why he's dead exactly
Yeah, but sometimes you go to Mexico for surgery
You save a grand and there's no anesthesiologist. It's just a Mexican named Paco
That comes in and shoots you with syringe just by looking at you. He's five foot six
Maybe 160 dude. I've heard a lot of people go to Mexico to get shit done. No, they have a lot of stem cell stuff
A lot of stem cell cancer. Hmm. They fucking cure you down there. Really pink pink boom
I know a guy who did one of those things. What do you do that? Go fund me
He got 50 gz. He went to Mexico really six months. He's healed this guy used to work downtown
Take a bus to north hollywood get off and drive his bike
Up north a few fucking miles on this railroad track right here
Do you work the woodland hills? Yeah, he was in good shape and he got that asshole cancer
Bike seats. No way. No, it's a joke. It's a joke. It might be who knows why Lance Armstrong got
He got that thing and the lance armstone got it because he was shooting every duty ddt
That dude was even doing antifreeze when he rode his bike in the winter time
Fuck him. He lost a nut dog. Yeah, I thought about that one night high as fuck
I mean, I had friends that shot coke
I had friends that went on endless cycles and they're still cooking. They got their hair. They look good
Tate
Fucking his nut blasted off. I have a friend
I have a friend who did I told you did blow and his mother would shoot him with the steroid at the same time
He's still alive and kicking living in a half a million dollar house in pentovania
And the lance armstone blew a fucking nut. Please stop saying we got cancer
Sure. How do you think he got cancer there? Well dunking got it too
Yeah, dunking got the same cancer dunking got it from reading all that buddhist
shit
That shit gets you after a while. You know what I'm saying, especially when you're from the south, you can't be reading that
Lance the armstone got it because they go on endless cycles. You were telling me they wouldn't they go on oxygen some shit that they give them
Well, Epo Epo that's shit a fucking cat now do a lot of those bicycle people get that shit
I don't think so
I think it's just a genetic thing. I think uh, who knows? I mean, it could be stress related
There's a lot of factors that could play into it when someone gets cancer
You know, some of it's environmental some of it's genetic some of it's uh, you know
just
Dumb luck, you know
Diet has a lot a lot to do with apparently apparently like what you were saying about the guy that you know that kicked it by
Getting rid of sugar
Apparently that is a pretty profound effect if you can eliminate sugar and a lot of simple carbohydrates from your diet a lot of
Refined flour apparently has a pretty good effect on your level of inflammation and your immune system strengthens
And that alone helps a lot of people who are battling anything whether it's cancer or what have you
But there's a lot of people that swear that that can turn it around especially if you can get your body burning fat
It's really interesting stuff, man
Because most of our diet like pretty much the majority of the american diet is filled with some kind of sugar
Something to keep you going even low fat milk. I sugar in it. Did you know that? Yeah, low fat milk has sugar in it
So it doesn't taste terrible
There's fucking sugar and low fat milk because sugar is not fat
This is how retarded we are when it comes to food
Like almost every like granola bars. You think you're oh, I'm getting a granola bar. I'm eating healthy
You're eating a goddamn candy bar. That's a candy bar. Oh, it is a sugar. I've always known that. Yeah
All that stuff makes your your body inflamed
And it makes you your it fucks up your insulin levels
It does all sorts of weird stuff to your body
Because you're not your body's not designed to take in that amount of sugar
Like the body that we have today is the same bodies that people had 10 000 years ago when there was no refined sugars
When you got your sugar from fruit and that's what people know
That's that's your body's designed when your body wants to eat a pear it gets fruit
It chews into it
It gets the sugar and everything attached to all the fiber and that's how your body digested healthily
But when you get scooped up a spoonful fucking sugar
They came from some factory and they figured out how to suck it out a sugar cane or whatever the fuck they get it from
Beats, you know, there's a bunch of different sources of sugar that they extracted from
But that's a refined sugar and you're getting in a form that your body doesn't know what to do with
It doesn't have that
Ever in nature
So all that corn syrup like when you get like a coca-cola
That is filled with something your body has no idea what it is. It's like how is this in liquid?
Your body's like, what the fuck is this? Like this this dude's got 25 30 grams of sugar coming at me
In a liquid form and like your body doesn't know about anything like that in nature
So you you you get fat you feel listless
It gets you you get tired you go up and down that's all insulin crashing
So those guys get cancer. I was drinking fucking 22 cokes a day. I know exactly where you go
I know exactly how hard was it to get off in the morning? I went from coke to diet coke
Then I just got clean and sober diet coke is not better. I do want every now and then
When i'm getting crazy
Getting crazy. You'll have me a diet coke. Let me tell you something. I could if I taste the coke now
I could feel the difference. Oh, yeah
It's horrible. You leave that going oof. I'll never drink that again
You get used to that flavor you get used to that corn syrup taste with the carbonation. It's cold
Dog, listen. I was a buttered roll coca-cola type of dude growing up man
Who knows how bad it was for you at those early ages when your body's developing
Who the fuck knew you know what the biggest bullshit bait and switch act in the world is?
Fountain soda
When was the last time you had a fountain soda that tasted remotely as good as one that's right for my can
They just aren't period. There's some there's some coax. I like fountain sodas. It's okay with sugar
It's okay, but it's not the same thing. It's not like you don't enjoy it
Like if you get a diet coke from a fountain, it's okay. It's okay. It's you know, it's not like you don't enjoy it
But it is not as good as out of the can when you get it out of the can bar disgusting
You're getting the the full formula when you get out of the can. It's a consistent experience every time
Yeah, you get a cold coke you crack it open you drink it
It tastes the same way every time same thing with a diet coke same way every time
But if you go to a fountain you get some weird sub flavors
Things are watered down sometimes. They get lighter than the bubbles. Yeah, that's the fake
They fake that it's coke and they stick some funky ass rc cola syrup in that machine. Oh, no rc cola
I was the rc fucking cola
Shit, you can't drink the cuban from coca-cola. I drank that shit for years
Joe Rogan, do you remember when you were a kid and you were poor and you did generic soda
I used to have remember that coca-cola. I used to have coca-cola in my house
But my mom at the bar used to sell bar soda
So coca-cola seven up was lemon up
Oh, that's hilarious coca-cola was up cola was something crazy ruby had a different name
So my mom would bring the cases to the house of lemon up
coke
fucked up dr. Pepper that tasted like turpentine
and uh
Something else like diet like in those days the big suck diet soda was tab
Tab was like a pink motherfucker with a slice of lemon in it
Good googly moogly that was saccharine, right? That was yeah, that that's cancer the can that's the first diet
Soft drink tab and girls always drank tabs. I'll have a tab
A tab like my mom's friends
It would all have a tab and tahitian treat was when you got from me with the chicken delight
When you went to chicken delight and got a three pieces of chicken with french fries
They always had tahitian heat like a motherfucker. That's that red soda. Let me ask you this
You go ahead
How the fuck did coca-cola ever gain any ground over root beer when root beer is so much more delicious? I had cocaine in it
Oh, that's right. All those years people were drinking that shit. What did they take cocaine out? Yeah, are you ready for this?
Yeah, they didn't
They don't have the active ingredient in cocaine, but they're flavored with coca leaves
They use coca leaves and you know coca cola
Gets its coca leaves from a manufacturer that strips them to make medical grade cocaine in new jersey. Yes in the jersey
That's what they there's a huge huge industry for medical grade cocaine
And what people don't know like well cocaine is legal. No, it's not no cocaine is not illegal
Cocaine is illegal for you, but it's not illegal for the medical industry
So they bring in coca leaves and they use the flavor from that coca leaves to this day
To flavor coca-cola
Well, what medical use does cocaine have?
Um, you can make lidocaine with it, which is a numbing agent. They put on people when they're having operations
They pump that shit up my nose
So when they say it's liquid cocaine it literally is liquid cocaine the kid I kid that's different
lidocaine is different because it doesn't have the psychoactive effects
But what it does do is it makes you feel like shit
It doesn't have like if you ever put that stuff on you lidocaine
It makes you feel like shit
I put some on my back last week because I had a really bad sunburn like real bad
I went to Mexico and I fucked up and I didn't put sunscreen on my back
I was just sitting out there for a while and I burnt
Hard where the next day was sweating and I was like, ah like just agony, right?
So he put this lidocaine on me and I felt like let a little numb like it numbed it a little bit
But the way I felt for the rest of the day was so shitty
He just feel like it's the cocaine without the up
Yeah, that's what it probably is. It's the cocaine without the you feel real down
You feel real weak like after like an hour or two like I guess it's almost like what cocaine would do to you
But you feel like my appetite was suppressed. I just felt like yeah, it's the other way without the high
And it was just this was just some over-the-counter shit. There's just some uh sunscreen spray that has a small amount of lidocaine in
But just putting that shit or sunburn spray putting that shit all over my back
Like fucked with my system like I could tell I could feel it
Because it's the same feeling that I got when I had my nose done when I had my nose fixed
And they cleaned out my deviated septum they pumped all this lidocaine up there
And then I went out to dinner that night and I was thinking I was feeling weak
I feel like I feel like why am I dragging ass like this draw it weighs on your body
Yeah, like I felt weak like physically I felt like it weighs on your body not your immune system
But yes your whole that's when you do blow
You feel like you got hit by a fucking train the next day. I'm so glad I avoided that
Thank god. Yeah, thank god. You gotta go brother. No, are you sure? Yeah, no, I thought you don't even attend
I didn't just ask him if we could go we could stay. No, no, we're good to go
I just didn't know what the fuck was going on. I gotta ask you a few questions
Do you have a night dominant crew says something very interesting when he came to the show in Buffalo? He said
That it's really a lot of mental stuff
You know fighting and that's been dawning on me like I've been thinking about he said that when guys don't make weight
Sometimes it's a mental and I was like wow, I never thought about it
Dominic Cruz is a great guy to ask anything about MMA because he's so knowledgeable
And he's been doing it for so long and is a smart dude and he's always thinking it through
He's constantly thinking things through and he's you guys were really good saturday night. He's great
No, you guys together were everybody was really good
John annick knew when to talk
He's like that. He's like a meathead like he knew when to talk and he was very good
But he couldn't compete with you two guys
You guys were on the money especially with the chris wideman incident. I saw it. I thought they were legal means from the jump
Well, it's hard for mergliata. Here's two reasons why it's hard for mergliata. First of all, he's a giant
Like you have to understand dan mergliata is like six foot five
300 pounds. He's a huge man. I mean, he's fucking huge
Like he towers over most of the fighters and so he's above these guys and if musassi is pinning down
Um
Widement so he's got him in a headlock, right and he's pulling him down
He's kneading him in the face like he was
Think of how tall
Mergliata is in the first place, right like this now think he's looking down if these guys need each other in the head
He's got to stay close by in case something happens. There's no way he could see those hands from where he was standing
So he took an educated guess based on his many many years of refereeing that both hands were down and it was so close
There's no you would have to be
On the other side of the ring looking at the ground to know whether or not it was touching
If you're above it the way mergliata was how could he know he really couldn't know and it's not his fault
He's an excellent referee. The fault is that the the athletic commission under situations like this
Doesn't use an instant replay and they should because it's the fair thing to do to make sure that the fight is
It's fair and I think wideman could have gone on
I think had there been a question whether or not it was legal
They could look at the instant replay and then they make the call the the strikes are legal
We're going to continue and you either continue them from the exact same position and say ready go
Or you have a protocol in place like you have to separate them go back to your corners and re-engage
Which is bad for musasi because musasi had him in a good position and was landing strikes
So it's impossible for dan mergliata to
To be absolutely certain from where he was standing as big as he is looking down like that
I would just imagine it probably looked like wideman's hands were touching when we saw it in the replay
I asked them to show me different angles different angles. Yes. I'm like I because at the first they said look
It looks like it's illegal and then I said I don't see his fingers
I want to see his fingers
Let me see his fingers and then when we went to one where you see his fingers
You can see musasi lift him up which is what you're supposed to do
So the only reason why wideman had his hands down like that is because he thought that could prevent him
From getting hit. He didn't have his hands down like that because it's an offensive gesture
He's not like putting his hands down there. It's because it's a next move, you know, what he's doing is he's dealing with the fact that
Musasi has his neck
He's dealing with the fact he's getting need in the head and he's thinking the best way to stop is to put my two hands down
Because like that's not a position that you would ever be in if you were trying
To hurt somebody, right?
So what he's trying to do is trying to stop the knees or figure out what to do and catch his
Mind because he's been tagged a few times in this round. He got hurt and those two knees hit him hard
And then the referee tells him it's an illegal knee
So he says he's like, okay. Well, let me take this time to take a break. I deserve it. I got hit with an illegal knee
So in his eyes, he's doing what you're supposed to do if somebody fouls you in his eyes
I got fouled. He doesn't know he could hit with two fucking hard knees, right? They tell him it was illegal
He thinks it's illegal. So he goes on about it like it's illegal
So he sits down
Then the doctors come over and examine him and then they
Someone tells him I believe it was john mccarthy tells dan mergliata that it was a legal knee. He's like it was legal
I just watched the replay and he shows it to dan
There's nothing dan can do now
We've showed the replay over and over now to the to the people that we're watching on pay-per-view and we're like they're legal
These knees are legal. This is just a mistake
And so then they don't know what to do
They don't really have a protocol in place
So they stopped the fight and they give a tkl victory to kegord musasi, which is crazy
Because dan wasn't no way going to stop the fight right there
Like it wasn't like
Wide man was getting hit so hard
He was right about to stop it and then they say that oh those knees are illegal. They weren't illegal
But I was going to stop it anyway. So let's stop the fight. It's not that no
It's the fight was going on and it was stopped just because of a mistake
A mistake by the commission that they didn't understand
They didn't have a good protocol in place to to start a fight up
And they don't have a protocol in place to check an instant replay under really
Really difficult to discern
Violations like this because it's really hard for me a professional
Commentator who's right next to the cage. I'm right there, dude
I'm touching the floor where the cage is on and I can't figure out if it's legal or not
I have to watch the replay so dan in the heat of the moment
I mean, he's watching two of the best 185 pounders in the world, right?
Gagard musashi's tagged wide man. Wide man keeps taking him down. It's a fucking battle, man
It's a battle between two world-class fighters and wide man's got hard. He could have come back from that
He's taking those hard knees. Who knows what he would have done
He might have pulled guard and pulled musashi on top of him and got the sweep and the round goes us
Look what just happened with darin elkins and and and and that that crazy comeback that he had
Did you see that fight? No?
Jesus Christ mersad bechtek who's his fucking super high level up and coming guys. This was this weekend?
No, this was like too. See two. Oh, yeah, I saw that one
Yeah, he took the beating to the death of his life to the third round that he knocks the guy out
And it was the world erupted, right? So a guy like wideman is just like a guy like darin elkins
He can come back from the dead
You might stop him. I mean darin elkins would stop chat mendez fucked him up
But he might fuck you up in the third round too. So you got to give a champion
Like wideman the benefit of the doubt. So the problem I don't believe that it was dan mergliata's fault
I think dan thought he was doing the right thing and his his
Mindset is to protect the fighters at all time if it's an illegal knee. He's got a step in
I just think it was so close
It was hard to tell and then the heat of this exchange. It's all crazy and it's a very high level fight
It's super important. It's in new york and so the one the commission didn't know what the fuck to do
That's when it became a problem. That's when almost
I wish somebody was there
They're like what I would have done. I would have said don't stop the fight because the fight wasn't going to be stopped
Let's restart the fight from the position that it's in right there
Where you going?
You need some air
So, uh
I wouldn't have stopped the fighting. It wasn't his it wasn't his decision to stop the fight. It was the commission's decision
I'm pretty sure and I think it was just because they didn't know what else to do
I think they just didn't know they didn't have a thing to do in place
It's hard. It takes a while to figure out how to correctly
referee and judge and
officiate in uh
In a in a state athletic commission that hasn't had mixed martial arts before and all of a sudden they have it
So you don't have a lot of expense or experience referees the referees are going to have to come from other places
Guys like big john or dan mergliata and then the commission
Unfortunately, even though the referees were in place that were really high level
There's a commission that's really not used to doing this and it's not their fault. They just they just don't have the experience
Nevada state has it
California has it down andy foster in california. He might be the best guy in the business
He's a former fighter lifelong martial artist
Super smart guy and he's on on the ball with everything with weight cutting. He's on the ball with drugs
He's on the ball with uh, he wants to have more weight classes
He wants a weight class every 10 pounds
He wants to like do hydration tests on fighters and keep them from from doing this
He wants to prevent them from doing this now. Do they have instant replay in california, nevada. Is that yes?
I do believe they have it in nevada. I do not know if they have it in california
Actually, can you look that up find out what states have uh instant replay? I think they added a train new jersey
I'm treating you like you're jamie and i apologize for that. I gave an in-stakes just ask someone to google
I think they they added a train new jersey something happened in new jersey
They should do it everywhere. It's just no reason to not have it
There's no reason to not have an instant replay just in case if there seems like there's some sort of a foul
If it's an iphone give it's a growing shot like if you can't look at an instant replay
How can you tell and there have definitely been fights where people have lost
Where they probably should have the their opponent should have been disqualified like where they got kicked low
And it didn't look like it got kicked low to the referee and they stopped the fight and that has happened before
um that happened with james kraus
When he fought bobby green
In on a military base one of those fight for the troops
And he he got hit with a low shot and then another one
He might have got hit with three, but he definitely got hit with two and the last one was a shin right across the cup
I mean you could hear it crack
It wasn't an intentional shot. It's just one guy's really tall one guy's not as tall
Neither guys are dirty fighters are both honorable fighters. It's just an accidental foul. It just happens man
But when it happens, I mean look like
It's not no one's trying to kick somebody in the balls most of the time most of the time
A guy's trying to kick the leg and he just misses like you can't kick everything you aim at otherwise
You just be lighting each other up. I mean that's the whole thing. It's hard to hit people
So like that's why anderson silva kicked chris wyman's knee like that
He didn't want to he wanted to hit him on the inside of the leg
But wyman got his leg up in time and then smash isn't isn't his fucking shin bone snaps in half
That's easy that just shows you one of the best of all time
If not the best of all time my idea is like him and fade or the two greatest fighters that have ever walked to face the plan
I give anderson a nod
But there's probably a lot of it because I experienced him live in person
Maybe if I experienced fade or in person I would give him the nod or maybe just call it a draw
You know, but even he couldn't stop from breaking bones by hitting the wrong things fade or broke his hand a couple of times
Anderson broke his leg. They all broke everybody misses you can't so getting upset at somebody for kicking somebody in the nuts
They don't mean to kick him in the nuts for the most part, you know, I mean, I'm sure it's happened before but most of the time
It's an accident
But I throw a leg kick you move back three inches. It's that fucking or he's throwing a kick at the same time you're throwing a kick
That's more likely
I just kick guys in the balls all the time accidentally because I was short because those fighting guys were tall
And I was five eight and these guys were like six two. We both kick at the same time. I'd kick them right in the nuts accidentally
Just happen
Just like if you're super aggressive, you're not allowing someone like openings
You just try to try to attack all the time. There's a lot of collisions
You know when you have collisions anything can happen
Like one guy kicks the same time you're kicking and whoever gets there first
Whoever gets there first whoever gets past, you know, knees and shins and whoever sneaks it in there
It's just unfortunate for wide men
Unfortunate for musasi unfortunate for the whole division rematch. I don't know if they will
Who knows there might be a reason why one of them gets a shot at the title
Yeah, see musasi
is
One of the best fighters in the world, but he's lost a few times
I mean guys have beaten him. Jacques ray manhandled him pretty recently. He submitted him
He just got him on the ground and went through him. He's a goddamn shark
Jacques ray is a fucking shark man. He gets you in the ground. He still has. Oh, yeah
No, don't get me wrong. He still could turn this around, you know, he's very well. You're raya hall knocked him out too
No, listen, I'm saying he's a bad motherfucker. Do not get me wrong. I'm not diminishing his abilities
I'm I'm as big as fan. I think musasi's cool customer
He goes in there deadpan doesn't give a fuck how many fights it lights up anybody. He said 50 professional fights this weekend
Was his 50th professional fight
He was fucking like cool as a cucumber super respectful, you know, he's very respectful of chris wyman, but
Said it like he felt it, you know, it's like look he said he said about wyman
He was wyman was game in the system. He was trying to not get need in the head. That's why he put his hands down there
He didn't put his hands down there to fight
He was trying to get out of it and then when he got hit with the illegal knee
He acted like he couldn't go on. He was hoping that they were gonna stop the fight. That's musasi's take on it
So the whole thing is
It's unfortunate very interesting
But musasi's a bad motherfucker and you see how good a striker is in that fight
He just realized like wow, listen, he took him down
But he kept getting up and even the scramble when he mounted him
He fucking slugged out the back door. I was really impressed. He did his homework
So I thought it was all starting to come together from musasi. Like yeah, I really thought
So the difference between a wydman who's a really high level submission artist. He's real high level
I mean, he's a he's a bad motherfucker and his ground and pound is excellent
Just really world-class with his with his wrestling and his ground and pound
And then there's another level of the matrix removed and that's guys like damien maya
That's guys who just constrict they get people like carlos condit and just constrict them
Well, they don't even have a chance. Do you see olivera versus will will uh will brooks this weekend? Same shit
Same shit. I was saying before the fight. I was like olivera has a super technical ground game
Like he's got submissions in all sorts of different ways calf slicers rear naked chokes guillotines
He gets you on the ground. You're in a world of shit. He's a bad motherfucker
And the same way he submitted that guy with a standing rear naked
He did that to f-rain escadero in his ufc debut. What was that frame tonight when you said that I was like, where the fuck
I don't know. He had a few wins in the ufc. He fought mexico. He had a win over there
He's looking really good. He was looking way more technical and more relaxed and he's with um
John crouch now with benson henderson down there in arizona
Lot of real good fighters. I didn't know ryan beta went to the bellator. Yep. He went to bellator too
They threw some money at yeah, and uh, so did lorenz larkin
Lorenz larkin has is fighting douglas lima. Who's the champion in bellator? That's a big fight
It's a scary fight. They have a real division now. Okay. They have lima. They have koreshkov
Koreshkov is a guy that fucked up benson henderson
He's a bad motherfucker from russia and then you got douglas lima who just knocked out koreshkov
It was a great fight
But lima cracked him and you got i mean if they were smart
They'd bring back ben askrin because the ufc doesn't want ben askrin the bellator should take ben askrin and bring him back
Where is he then?
He's over in one fc and they're they're throwing all this money around ben askin could spank some fucking people
His wrestling is so fucking good that he manhandled lima lima just couldn't do anything with him
He's done it to a lot of guys did it to koreshkov manhandled them. They can't do anything to him
He just takes him down and holds him down and beats the shit out of him. There's nothing they can do about it
He's just so much better as a wrestler than all those other guys that when he gets in there with him
He almost like makes the fight boring for some people
But for me, it's fascinating
Especially if you know how good these guys are and you see askrin just dragging them to the ground left and right and takes a
Shot too man takes serious shots coming in takes knees to the chin eats them like candy
grabs guys dumps them on their ass and holds them down there and punches them in the face
And it's very few guys have been able to stop them. In fact, I don't think anybody
I'll think he's a j here on from the ufc. It was the only guy who gave him a tough fight because he's a good wrestler
That was a real close fight. The next card is may
For bellator. No ufc for ufc. Yeah may 12th. Yeah, but I was just saying that there's like that division
It's rory mcdonald now right rory and somebody else right who else rory mcdonald lorenz larkin douglas lima
They got there's a serious division at 170 now
So that's good for everybody
That means these divisions even outside the ufc are stacking up and he could get to the point someday in the future
Where, you know, velcro belto's viacom, you know, they could develop some huge superstar some connor mcgregor style
Superstar and there could be a big money fight with a superstar from the ufc and a superstar from that organization
Then an undeniable thing sort of like what's going on with mcgregor
What's going on with mcgregor right now is mcgregor is facing an undeniable like
Floyd mayweather is an undeniable force undeniable when it comes to financial
Advantage for being in business with him. He's floyd mayweather
He's one of the biggest pay-per-view if not the biggest pay-per-view seller in boxing history, right?
So him versus connor's just there's so much money there
Everybody will work together and that could conceivably happen someday with bellator and they're doing the right thing to get into that kind of a position
You know by having like really legit guys like lorenz garr larkin super underrated guy lorenz larkin's one of the most underrated guys in the sport
And then gleema who's a fucking beast rory mcdonald was still one of the baddest motherfuckers on the planet
He's super well rounded. He might school all those guys
He might school them all and you got paul daily paul daily's over there
Semtex that motherfucker knocks people dead
He's just knocking people dead
He has the the nastiest left hook in all of mma
Just cracks guys and he's a left-handed guy, but he fights orthodox. So his left hand is his power hand, but it's his forward hand
He'll knock you out with either hand. Don't get it wrong. Like he he's last fight. He knocked dude out with a flying knee
Really tough kid too. Just boom
Hit him with the same kind of flying knee that you all remember hit wybin with just one of those
With the guys out before he even goes to the ground and they bounce
But paul daily does that to everybody. He's terrifying
They got that michael page two guy. You ever see that karate guy? He's the guy that broke cyborg skull
Where cyborg is skull caved in and they literally put plates in it. Do you see that that guy's over there, too
That's the same division. So that's a division full of killers
So one guy could rise to the point where and that's good for everybody. That's good for the fighters. Everybody makes more money
It's good for the ufc. It's good for them
I bet we got enough time to watch the ufc. All right, let me along with bellato
I don't know nothing about bellato. You got to watch kickbox every time I turn it on. I go. What am I watching?
I'm so spoiled with the ufc watching and the shoots and stuff. Did you see bellator kickboxing?
Did you see that this weekend? I had some friends in that other one's nothing
It's pretty badass. John Wayne par was in there. He's always fighting. He's always beating somebody up smoking cigarettes
He's the man. No, no, no. He doesn't smoke cigarettes. What's the guy that smokes cigarettes is one of joe shilling joe shilling
Yeah, that's the man of steel. He didn't fight this week. No, not this card
But he's fighting for bellator kickboxing too. We got the rest of the week Tarzan
Just hanging out doing some sets, you know
Doing triply show in the main room on wednesday trip. We've got a show the naughty show
I don't know. He's just he's put together his own show wednesday in the main room. Callan's doing it
Shob's doing it. Brian's got a show too. I'm doing Brian show over at a laugh factory
Hello, you're on every fucking have it's a fun
How fun was buffalo? It's good time
Buffalo's always good. That late show was late though, man. 11 o'clock at night is a late show from on a Friday
I gotta be honest with you. They were a lot better than what I thought. Oh, yeah, they were great
I saw people at seven o'clock getting tuned up
for the 11 o'clock show. I thought it was gonna be hand-to-hand combat
Comedy and I was prepared for it. I was like, it's gonna be hand-to-hand combat
And I gotta tell you something they
Were very well behaved. Oh, they're great. I watched a half hour. You said they were very well behaved. Yeah, they were great
I was in shock
For an 11 o'clock show. Well, you're going somewhere interesting now. Where you where you going this weekend?
When are you going next? You're going somewhere next. I go to ox not. Oh, that's why you're doing levity and ox
I gotta make this field
Have you done that place yet the ox not place? No, this is my first fucking great. I'm doing 420 weekend then I go to
You know walkie to see Duke Rufus. Oh, yeah, that fly the next day to michigan
Oxnard is like a road club a really good road club
Like they're super happy that someone's coming out there because for the longest time they have to drive
You live ox not you live an hour and 10 hour and 20 outside the city
You they had to drive into hollywood to watch shows
So when a guy like you come to them, they're so happy to drive 10 minutes from their house and the club's amazing
It's a big place too. It's like 300 something people. Maybe even more. Maybe 400
No, I told you I was really impressed with levity live nyak
Very impressed very impressed. Yeah, they're doing good. Chef at levity live was the chef from ox not
He had just worked a weekend with you
But they hired a new chef at levity live. So he's out there training
I had a phenomenal time at that club. It really opened up my love like jesus christ
I forget up this this part of new york. Oh, yeah, this part of new york is fucking different, you know, it's uh
It just I I missed that I missed that 914
Attitude it's a rockland county and you have a little aggressive. You have a little aggressive
What's the other place that's westchester's close by? Yeah, I missed that that's new rochelle
New rochelle people there bronx people came yonkers very yonkers very yeah yonkers people there very fucking
Uh
Tremendous my friend. I'm happy you fucking made time for me, dog. Oh, I'm happy to do it. I love you
I'm happy you came down here the monday night fucking around talking about different shit
I love this place. I haven't been here. I love how you got it set up. Lee sciat. Look at him
He's got 2200 milligrams of death tonight. Did you that's what's going on? Look at the shape
Did you put all these lights in?
No, Kevin our friend from uh, what's the name of the company after buzz after buzz. Oh, he does it professionally
He could do it in two fucking minutes. It's amazing. He's a lighting guy like a tv
Yeah, he just had a funny feeling about lights and stuff like that. That's badass. It's awesome. You guys have a cool spot
I love it. I love
I love podcasts
And I like the way the studio looks and stuff like that
But it was always like I always wanted this to be something that you listen to
And like it felt illegal that you were less into it like this does feel like I don't want to I don't want it
I never wanted it to be polished like I wanted it to be like
Yeah, like they had to sit back and come on and it's like listen to Led Zeppelin Cuba. Yeah, you gotta listen to it under the stairs
You know, it's fucking crazy. Can you imagine that? Do you ever listen to dugs?
Dugs what? Stand up stand up's podcast. No, I didn't even know he had one. It starts mid-sentence
It's like he's in the middle of like no fucking this gotta be a is it on is this fucking thing on it's on
You know and he just you know, he's at a bar. He's got this place in his house
Always set up. I think right well, he's got a place in his house. The like it's called the fun house
It's got like a bar and it's all painted weird colors and shit
And they do the podcast live from there and everybody's drunk and chiming in and it's hilarious
And you know, it's just Doug kind of holding court and the beautiful thing about it for him
He says is that he doesn't have to go to open mic nights
He's like he can just do that and when he does that
From from there like he's riffing and ranting all the time and that's allowing him to develop material
He gets ideas and works on them and they allow them to riff and rant. He puts it on once a week
I think he does it whenever the fucking wants he's done like series of them
Was like three or four in a day like he did like like four or five in a day once they were all 10 minutes long
We'll be right back. You know, there's an episode of the fucking what is it 11? What do we have to 11?
This is such a character. I mean, he's he's a the real deal
You know, there's a lot of people that like pretend to be that kind of all there's a ton of them in hollywood
They want to be stand-hold, but he's no he lives seven miles from mexico. Is bingo good. She's better. Yeah, she's better
Are they together? Yeah, he's he's helping her. She's going through she she fell and hit her head
And uh, apparently, uh, I would I would have to get the full
Rundown from him what the exact medical condition was but I know she was in a coma for a while. I took her a while to come out of it
Super scary shit, man. Someone falling down a flight stairs and hitting their head is super bad
But apparently she's talking now or since the humor is back
So she's recovering she has seizures
I don't know some type of seizures. I don't know
There's a there's a cave for sale
In uh, Doug's community fucking cave out in the desert. Have you seen it? No? Yeah
It's like it's a famous cave and Doug was talking about like buying the cave
Like a bunch of people he bought like five houses. He owns half the city. He owns half the city
Whatever houses go up for sale. He winds up buying them
He could one in like no bullshit that one day could be dug down
Like it really could like police wouldn't hang them high
All you'd have to do is the town red and locked it up. He could he could be the mayor
Have his own bar. Isn't it the king of the town now?
He got his fans to make it the number one small city in america or something
Like the number one rustic town in america. Well, it was really cool even before that like before that people did enjoy that town
It's an artist community. It always had a good reputation. That's why he moved there in the first place
but what i'm saying is like
if if you
If he really want if someone a real estate agent came in
And the real estate agent was like like we're gonna turn this to the dug town
And this we're gonna we're gonna offer you a lot of money for your house
How much your house worth and the guy's like why like you know 150,000 or whatever how much the house has cost and he would
they would find someone from somewhere that wants to relocate to to bizbee and
They have enough money to buy a house
And so they go I want to move to dug town. I've heard there's minimal rules bars are open 24 hours a day
And you get to meet dugstand hope and then people just start moving in if you have a big world, right?
350 million people in this country. You're telling me you couldn't find 30,000 people that want to live with dugstand hope
Oh, please it'll hurt me a hard beat
So you just get this real estate agent to start fucking putting deals together
People start buying houses like cop land
Yeah, all of the houses just dug lands and they probably be a few scalpers who buy houses
They pretend oh i'm a huge fan of dugs
Dugs been amazing from the beginning and then they buy the house try to spike it up and sell it for even more
They'd be a lot of that for sure
But you really could do that like he
Is one of the few guys that could really could legitimately start a cult and I would think about going
I would how would go. Oh, I can't do that. I go down there with vise land
That's what I'd fucking do and look at those lunatics bring david joe
and go down there
Fuck he's having fun though
Has he ever had an incident from giving his uh address out?
The note just gives it out. He doesn't do that anymore. Not anymore. Okay, but it's still out there
Yeah, people found that way down there too many people just started showing up at the uh, super bowl parties and shit
I try to tell him i'm like don't do that
Yeah, I thought it was cute
You don't want people showing up at your fucking house, especially dug land. No, no, no, no
But dug really likes chaos. He enjoys those chaotic situations. He really does when I lived with dug
He had a bunk bed. I lived on the bottom big ron lived on the top
I didn't stay with dug for like six weeks. It was fucking craziness
He doesn't eat. He just drinks coffee and smoked cigarettes every month. He's quitting. He's been quitting cigarettes for how long now?
Yeah, he's not gonna quit. You know, he don't give a fuck. He's well. He does give a fuck, but he doesn't want to
He's not he's quit for a few times. He has quit a few times
But he just gets back to it
It's a weird one, man. You you were caught by that grip. Yeah, but you could get off it
Once you it's tough, but once you get off, but it's funny how he never really gave a shit
Like he picked up left. He shows up with a guy that's a manager
He met him at a sports lounge in tuplo, mississippi
You know what i'm saying like that he you know here he had like big-time management and that's done
He does all his bookings himself
He looked up with this lunatic that got him the dvd
The cd. What's his name? You know pirates of the caribbean. Oh, yeah, that's his fucking buddy, you know, johnny depth
Doug really is
Like in the air of lennie bruce like dug is just crazy. He's out there
You know, he's legit. He's legit. That's the way it is. That's the way it is
Well, I was watching this special when it first came out. I'm sitting there going
How many years do I know this guy and
He stuck to the script like yeah, this was not if anything he got fucking crazy
If anything he went deeper. Yeah, like I've known him since 91
He was a good looking dude with a haircut. I got a picture of him. Yeah, and then he fucking
Went on the evening at the improv and then he started headlining then he won san francisco and he was buck wild
He was just destroying hollywood
Yeah, yeah, that's him. They would put him up at the store at fucking uh
Doug stanhope with a mullet. Oh my god in a pool up to his chest
That's in vegas with a glass of wine
I didn't even notice some sort of a drink. That's a fucking vegas
I'm gonna put this i'll put this on instagram later. I keep this close to the edge of my heart
Where'd you take that picture somebody's subject to you? No, it was uh on the wall the store
Really? Yeah. Yeah, they have it at the store. It's like one of those super old headshots that they they've stowed away there
That was his headshot. I still remember that that was his headshot. I still remember that picture at the broker. That was it
That was probably dug when he was 20 years old. Yeah, I'm blinding tonight. All those triple runs
Well, I probably wasn't even headlining back then. No, he wasn't headlining back then
Well, I meant that he was featured at the triple run everybody had to try some wacky thing when you were taking your photo
Try to stand out
You know, I had an egg cream my first headshot
Some guy took it behind the fucking abos pizza in boulder. Uh, so you kept telling me i'm a photographer
Let me take your headshot. You know, hurry up. He goes. What do you want? Like, I don't know. I'm drinking this and he just took pictures
And that was my first head trip to the area. Have you taken one with a mustache egg cream mustache?
What he retarded what I'm gonna kid from her? She's he just set stand behind the light and he took two pictures and that was my headshot
Wow
What was your first headshot?
Jeff tea took it
In boss Jeff tee the standup comedian who wound up marrying that chick that's on the view. What's her name? The one who's really religious
The black girl on the view god damn it. Why is there sherry sherry sherry sherry sherry sherry sherry sherry. He was always at the store
You remember Sherry Shepherd from the store before she was on the view she was a comic
She was always hanging at the store. She always had a clean set always like very clean
Very nice Sherry separate shepherds. Very nice. My friend Jeff T from Boston. Really? Yeah
That's was married. I think they got divorced
But they were married way back in the dis a but Jeff was an amateur photographer and Jeff
He took my first headshot so stupid looking me with a leather jacket on looking like an asshole
I took another one afterwards with me looking like an asshole. I've taken several headshots douchey when I was like 22
You don't want to find those things. It's so
It's so mad
There's so bad. I had like a tank top on with like a leather motorcycle jacket. I was looking sultry
She just went to war with her ex-husband over a kid. She had the eggs probably Jeff
And he gave her the eggs and he bought the eggs. Well, it's her eggs
Maybe the embryos
Yeah, I don't know if that's Jeff
We stars are fucking crazy those view
Everybody's crazy Joey
Crazy, I don't like that, but everybody's a little crazy. Oh, please. We're all crazy. I still hear voices, but I fucking maintain brother
The craziness is what God is here. Yeah
Nobody's saying would do this. Nobody
People would back out this after five months and go one of my fucking crazy
We should do a tour like a real tour figure out like who's gonna be on it do like four of us
Ari, I'm sure he's on those own thing right now. He's probably on
He's probably nothing. I bet you could barely talk to him right now
He's probably learning new languages and shit always that dude that got caught with hash in that movie Midnight Express
He's somewhere talking about his wife's tits when she comes to visit him over that fucking. Yeah
At the end, but no, he's somewhere learning a culture and join himself and join himself
But but putting together something like that. Maybe it's a girl wants to hop in maybe you me maybe hinge cliff
Just figure it. We'll figure that was just a bunch of people. Yeah, it was ever available
Yeah, and and just have some fun because like one of the things that I was thinking when we're doing that those shows and Buffalo's like
How much fun we're having?
hanging out doing these
Just amazing shows. They're so fun
You know like whenever we're at the store and we're hanging out doing these I'm like, this is these are amazing nights
They're so it's so enjoyable and it
Jazzes me up like it gets me pumped up about comedy
You know it gets me excited to do more of it. Not that I'm never I'm always excited about it, but even more so, you know
You think it would happen with like Kings of comedy or the blue collar comedy tour or any of those things those those
Groups of guys that get together and put together a show. They're doing it now still who's doing it any Griffin George
No, yeah, the black and brown DL blue whoo glee who else Felipe's on the tour right now
That's all I'm not a different one with that. Oh, he's with any apps in those guys. No, he's with my gaps
All right, he's got a fucking kangaroo. Yeah, he got my guys get in trouble with the kangaroo. You see that?
Yeah, my gaps had a kangaroo on stage. I don't know what was going on
But he had a kangaroo
That's it. That is such that is such a funny
My gaps and Tommy Ward were at war Tommy Ward Thomas Ward. Remember somebody really war with Mike absent
They they put some in the face at the store and then he caught him somewhere knocked him out somewhere
Mike has been in war with a couple guys. He got in war with cat Williams. He got in war with
Kevin Hart Kevin Hart was the most hilarious. Yeah, I bring you ticket sales up
If you want to go to war with me, you got to bring your ticket sales off
I know you want to compare yourself to me. You're doing some small colleges. You're doing some clubs a small theater
It's like you bring your ticket sales up the way he does it's like
So ruthless because you can't say anything. I mean, he's he's Kevin Hart is so energetic
Like in the way he like if he said attacking you it's mostly because you are attacked him
It's like this has a comeback that he couldn't address him. So you got to bring your ticket sales up first
That's such a black comedian thing too, like of a white comedian talks like that
You get crucified, you know
What we were talking about this what the fuck happened to cat Williams
He's got a special that's coming out. Really? Yeah, where's your 17? I saw it the other day right after we talked about that
He looks like he gained some weight
Dude, Cat Williams this day has some of my favorite specials ever they have chronicles me to your heart. One was amazing
I want was amazing
The Michael Jackson thing was amazing. There was a couple things that were really fucking amazing
I still remember doing his room up here for 50 bucks, bro. You did his room
Yeah, right here 10 years ago. He came up to me the store when he was cat in the hat
Oh, that's right. He was cat
We used to hang Sunday nights
And one night he came up to me man, that was funny shit. Can you do my room right here? It's still there
It's still like a jazz club right before Jerry's deli
If you hit Jerry's deli in studio city, you went too far. It's a block before all that shit starts
It's still there. Wow. I did it twice once with him and someone once with somebody else
And it was like 10 people gave me 40 bucks
I was happy as fuck and then 10 years later. He shows up as cat Williams
Fucking killing motherfuckers. He did that special. Didn't you bring a lion on stage? Didn't you have a lion in a cage?
I want to say he had a he had a wardrobe change in the middle of a special in the middle of a
He was sweating so much because he's you know, he's always yelling and screaming and jumping around stage
He was setting so much. He took his fucking clothes off. He went backstage and changed his clothes. I
Pretty sure he had a lion. I'm pretty sure he's the real he had a lion
There's a cat. Williams have a lion on stage see if you find that I'm trying to find I
Don't think so
Maybe why do I feel like he had a lion? I feel like he had a lion on line or a tiger
There's a fucking difference that the lion the tiger whatever is fine
Williams had a lion on stage Google that
You got it
No, I don't think so
Yeah, I googled it in two minutes. You have it
hilarious
priceless special debut
Okay, Williams stomped and jumped in the head at Philly concert
He took some beatings though. He got into fights at places. He's getting sued that one show
Fucking whatever live nation. He killed live nation live nation
I give all the money back in the sacrament. Yeah, what happened?
He did a show and then didn't do stand-up right yelled at some people and then got off stage
He did something he was going through a fucking ton of shit, you know, I laugh at those stories
Like they say that what's the girl's name killing me so the Fuji's did I really yeah, Lauren Hill Lauren Hill gets to concerts
Three hours late
Magic into a concert at 730 the show's supposed to start at 8 and she don't go on till 1030. Are you fucking crazy?
Are you fucking crazy?
That's when you're just crazy. Well, she wasn't paying taxes. They put her in the pokey
That's one of the things they do with taxes that they don't do with anything else
They put you in jail
Like if you owe money like you say if you owe like for a car that you didn't pay
Well, you you know, they get a lien on your your funds and they wind up you jail
But if you owe the government money and you just don't pay taxes, they put you in a cage
And they don't fuck around they even put blade in the cage
They put him in a cage for a few years. They don't go if they don't fuck around. It doesn't discriminate, bro
You won't look at they're gonna. So your boy this could they gonna send him for fucking ten years to kill from the Jersey shore
Who?
Who's that?
The situation are they putting him in jail? Oh, yeah, for what he's got two charges for taxes. Oh, yeah
He's got type it up
Taxes almost like
Like he fucked up like what was the other one taxes and what I thought it was payroll, but let me check
He are you high enough that you could actually type? I mean, are you like so bro?
I have no idea. I mean why he's typing. I'm like, there's no way that guy could see that screen
He's a soldier at that. He's he's well. We got him trained just in case ISIS takes over with THC
Levels are high and you can make it. What do you got there?
Put it up on the screen. Okay. Well, it's too high. I can do it
I want you to fucking read. I want you to read it to me
Jersey Shore Star Mike the situation Sorrentino hit with serious new tax charges. Oh boy
9 million you're gonna
dodge taxes from
110 to 2012 on 8.9 million in income from promotional events
He evaded payment by filing false returns and by claiming millions in business expenses including pricey cars and personal grooming
According the first indictment new charges accused the situation of structuring funds to evade currency
Transaction reports according to a statement from the US Attorney's office in New Jersey
His brother is charged with falsifying records to obstruct a grand jury investigation
If convicted on all charges the brothers could face 20 now. Oh my god 20 years in prison. Oh my god
Wow, he's going away
Mmm. Yeah, try to do some neighborhood shit. They try to go old school with their taxes
Yeah, see you on the son at one point he made several cash deposits on the same day and
Several banks in the amount of less than ten thousand dollars
To allegedly evade the banks IRS reporting requirements. The brothers are scheduled to be arraigned April 17
Now they don't always point nine million. No on eight more out eight point nine million dollars worth
Three million close to three million so well depending on what his bracket is if that's his bracket
And he doesn't have any deductions if they don't accept his deductions, wouldn't it be more than that? I don't know how that works
I think it's three million and then deductions on the stated gross receipts claim fraudulent business deductions
See once they catch you doing the fuck it like let's say some people just go listen. I didn't know
Yeah, I didn't know we'll tell you I'll tell you what you don't know
You're gonna what do you got in the bank? I got about 600,000. Okay, that goes to us
No, I get the three years probation. That's how this ends. Okay. No, no, no you go to jail if you pay a bad
No way if you pay it back. I had a friend that no no no no no blade tried to pay it back
They're like you're going to jail
But there's a how much did blade take he didn't pay taxes. He didn't pay taxes
He hooked up with one of those wacky constitution dudes that was like it says here on page 17
paragraph 3
Thou shalt not you know, I mean they have these crazy like tax law laws
Like when you look at the tax code and you go go, what is legal? What's not legal and what's the interpret?
Doesn't matter if everybody else is paying taxes. You have to pay taxes, too
Yeah, just because like it's not written correctly somewhere like it in some way you think that you could evade this on a
Technicality there they showed him what they wanted to show they've showed him by putting him in jail
They wanted to send a message that if you do this even if you're famous will lock you in a cage
That's what they do. It's it's harsh harsh business. They
This this is hard to read because this is when they see when they know you're trying to fuck with them
That's when you get there fucking that's when you get their attention and a lot of money nine million
Like I said, like I said
And what's that expression?
Ignorance is bliss. Yeah, if you say you're stupid, that's one thing, but if they catch you trying to be tricky
That's when they fucking find you because there comes a fine to restitution. Yeah, the probation ain't over till you pay
You do know that right well these guys I think they're slick like this is like a slide all you have to do
You make several cash deposits on the same day in several bank accounts as long as they're under ten thousand dollars
Yeah, the IRS doesn't know shit. Are you sure Mikey? You sure we could do this. This is what we do
We're not gonna fucking pay them. We're gonna pay them all this money. You want to give a million dollars away?
You want to take a chance?
20 years dude, do you imagine what that must feel like?
Well, you're not gonna get 20. You'll probably get like fucking three
And you'll have to do three and you have to he go ride horses because he's not a criminal
They take you to Lombok you ride horses. You learn how to shoot bow and arrows you draw pictures
Everybody winds up going to jail too, man
Like those people from Jersey housewives housewives of New Jersey the guy and the girl
The the husband I think he went oh the girl went away first and then the husband goes away second something like that
They each got to do a year
So I have to stay with the kid. Yeah, it's just and it's the same thing. It's a tax thing
I
Couldn't think about that now right now
Taxes are scary. That's the first thing I fucking do. I don't play with these people. I can't wait with murder for years
They sent me a wrong amount one time. I cashed it. I don't know nothing. It was too long ago. Let's forgive and forget
They only go back seven years
Well, now that you talked about it, you're definitely gonna get away with it. Yeah, it was 200 dollars. What do they give a fuck?
I was supposed to get 59 dollars. No, I'll tell you what it was
They sent me two tax returns the same check like they fucked up
Yeah, the computer had fucked up. So they sent the check on saturday and went on monday the same exact check
I cashed them both. I took my chance columbus did
Fucking business law if something lands in your mailbox, it's yours. Nine tenths of possession. This is fucking useless
I love you brother. Thank you very much for coming on having a lot of fun
And I love the fact that people love this podcast your podcast is huge. You're not we have a good time
To me all the time. We talk. We just talk normal here. There's no fucking drama
I'll give the shout outs late and all that shit leaveny live
420 and 427 I'll be at the temblor brulean company and bakers field
I'm gonna go up there and spend the day with matt baker and learn how to choke people correctly
From the fat man side control. He taught me
Then I got utah and then i'm in uh, mil walkie. Are you doing wise guys?
Fuck yeah. Yeah, i'm doing wise guys. We're doing wise guys in july. I'll be there
May
5th and 6th very nice. You land on friday morning. I love that club. I love it. I love that city
I love the whole day salt lake city one of the most underrated cities in the country people have a weird assessment of it
But they're real nice people
The fucking shows are fun and not everybody's Mormon. No
There's a lot of non-mormons. There's good weed. There's a party. They got the best olive garden in the country
The busiest olive garden in the country is in salt lake city. They walk in there. They think it's fucking
Spark steakhouse. I'm a big fan of utah people. I like utah
I like those people you ski up there. Yeah, sometimes i've never been up there to ski. You know what though
Aspen to me you can't fuck with it
You know why because the way it looks like when you look aspen is so fucking beautiful when you're up there you're like
Like how could it like you if you went to park city?
Or um, yeah, that's where it is right where they ski park say you look around there gorgeous, right beautiful
I mean, it's amazing looking
But aspen somehow another tops it it takes it to another level
Where you look you look at aspen you go. I don't believe it. It's got more beautiful. Like it's it's just one
Notch more wooded one notch more rivers and streams one notch more beautiful
Like those mountain towns, man
That's what's up
Like that's that's living man
Those super rich dudes they figured out a way to move to aspen and they're up there with their Range Rovers
Every other fucking cars up there's a Range Rover. The sobs don't have the cops don't have sobs. I don't know
That's funny. Did that aspen they used to ask me the snowman stop Subaru's
It's uh, it's a different way of living if I could figure out how to live there
I would try to figure do you think you could just one day just
Go out of there and do the podcast
Just do the podcast live and because I know you talk about going to, Colorado
I talk about going a lot of places. I just don't know what I would do
I would have to leave the teaching me how to do the podcast and I would zero in from a cabin
You know where you would really have to consider it. We would all have to consider it if LA gets hit with a quake
Some real shit goes down in LA
You really have to take any consideration that we're just pretending that that can't happen. Listen, man
I'm done. I told you what my fear was in LA. I'm not worried about a fucking earthquake no more
We became a sanctuary state
That means if something happens we get into zero fucking funding
That means if there is a fucking major earthquake instead of taking two days for supplies to get here and help
From the federal government
We'll take 10 days. Maybe well, when did we become a sanctuary last week? Why?
Because that's the way life is that's the way life works itself out
And that's been starting to scare me a little bit. How did that distinction change because they hold back federal funding
They fuck around with your paper
Well, they're they're threatening to do that. I don't think
Because they're saying that they people you've got a google machine right in front of you son
Why fuck around find out what it's I don't think it's a threaten that I think they'll retaliate at some fucking level
I go down to hollywood and I see the weed stores
And I could see fucking Trump coming in here shutting down kind of them on sunset strip
You know, they're getting too fucking lax
So now we just legalized marijuana and now you want to become a sanctuary state
You know what's interesting
There's a story today on one of the new sites about how many pot arrests they have in washington dc
Even though marijuana is legal now in washington dc
They still arrest people for pot and it's primarily african-americans
Oh, please primarily black dudes getting arrested for weed in a place where weed's legal
They do what they want your brother always remember. It's a federal fucking law. We're just living on rented borrowed time
I I appreciate that courage
I appreciate that they're trying to do a fucking thing
But when I went to hollywood a month ago and I got stuck in hollywood. I was driving on Santa Monica
What I saw on lebré
And the the fucking billboards I was like
Wow
Listen, I don't mind you're a gangster. Just don't remind me
I don't mind if you're a gangster. Just don't remind me. Keep it small
There's one that you pull up to add the light by target on lebré
That you look at and go
Looks like a fucking amusement store my friend. Looks like somebody sank 20 million into it
So I know that the investments are high
But I don't think they covered themselves before they dotted the t's
And that's what scares me that that's the only way
Trump could read that's one of the ways he could really fuck with us if we become a sanctuary state
Colorado ain't becoming no sanctuary. I don't know if that sanctuary state
But colorado got their weed game so tight
They could send fucking the da in there and you can't fuck with colorado colorado would come up with
You know all these states that where you go now, they have a whole floor now to marijuana
Where it was just one attorney, you know what I'm saying? Like if your attorney officer's seven floors
They had one office about marijuana. Now they have two floors. The thing is there's still a federal issue
It's a federal issue and that's why I don't like what I say. Yeah. Well, you got a good good point
I mean that jeff sessions guy that they have now
He's scary in a lot of ways like he's publicly said that good people don't smoke marijuana
I mean, maybe he believes that he might believe that but maybe he's been influenced by companies that would benefit from keeping marijuana illegal or reversing the trend
That's possible too. You know, there's a lot of people that think that there's medical pharmaceutical companies rather that
Stand to lose millions and millions of dollars from this
They absolutely will maybe even billions. They already proved it that all the states that have legalized marijuana
Uh opioid emergency room visits a damn colorado is a sanctuary state
Is it and then what they're saying is is I mean he
Obviously he could probably make things difficult but what about california legally california is but you said colorado colorado
You mean california? No, I meant california. I meant colorado. Yeah, we knew california was
Joey asked of colorado was so california definitely is yes, so and that's last week it changed over. Yeah, and I mean
It's fucked up. But yeah, I mean they can fuck it. They can fuck with you. They can fuck with you dog
Well, here's the thing. Here's how you mitigate that right like how much how much funds are we talking about and would there be a way to make a
Fund to make up for it if it's because of marijuana
You could tax marijuana 39 percent nobody goes a fuck nobody goes a fuck
It's still cheap
You could do it and if you do that, you know how much money the state generates and that probably takes care of emergency services
like if you if you thought about 24 7 marijuana sales in california and 24 7 taxes coming in
And high taxes no one would care and you just take all that money because that's what they have in colorado like medical
It's one percentage
But then if it's recreational
I think it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 percent or 39 percent or something like that
You could do that and then that would be hundreds of millions of dollars
And that's the money you use to take care of yourself if some shit goes down
You're probably more than you're going to get from the federal government anyway
Well, and then the last year this is what I heard that they had tax returns for like
Weed like they made so much money that some people got tax returns or all the residents
I don't know how yeah, they made so much money in taxes if people got checks
They had to give it back
I'm like you were saying could that could there be a fund
Maryland just voted that if Planned Parenthood gets defunded they'll fund Planned Parenthood
Yeah, well there you go
Yeah, I mean if if you get enough people
That can generate enough money from something that's easy like growing marijuana not easy, but it can be done
It's not like making cell phones over in china
You don't need a factory with nets around to keep people from jumping off the roof if you want to grow a pot
It's not that hard
And if you did that and you just had listen everybody's going to make a shitload of money anyway
It's like it's not about having a hundred million dollars. It's about not being broke
You're not making plenty of money
So you make plenty of money and you live in an amazing community where everything gets taken care of school gets taken care of
Teachers get paid more money doctors get paid everybody gets paid
And there's plenty of money why because you let people grow a plant
And nobody's dying of overdoses the overdose deaths drop drastically dropping cancer
All these people with health issues that are worried about it cbd oils. All that's so easy to get hemp oil
You deal with a lot of people alleviating pain and disease
And you make a shitload of money. It's a win-win. It's just not a win-win for the pharmaceutical companies
So when a guy comes in and he's saying that this is something we need to target
You got to go. Well, why not it's not logical
If you look at the issues that people are developing from pain pill addiction
You look at how many people overdose just on that fentanyl stuff. That's the stuff that killed
Um, that's the stuff that killed uh, Michael jackson. No prince
Michael jackson. We were talking about it again. What's set it up. What the fuck fentanyl? It's a super potent opiate
Super potent like many many times stronger than oxycontins
So it's really easy to overdose. There's a mma fighter josh saman. Uh, he um, he he overdosed from it too
Apparently I heard I don't know if that was it. I'm pretty sure that was it
That's what it kind of shit and said that because i'm not exactly sure what somebody um told me that
and then um
I think there's been there's been quite a few deaths from that stuff
A fentanyl stuff is very scary. And so there's that that's legal and this you don't see this guy chasing that down saying, hey folks
There's an herbal remedy. It's called edible marijuana. It's probably as effective as anything you're talking about and it doesn't kill a goddamn single person
Like and you can grow it yourself
You know, you can make your own and communities can make their own
I mean, it wouldn't be hard at all to make it dirt cheap
We get some weed for christ sake. It's super hearty. You don't need vermini pesticides
What you need you need fertilizer and light good soil good soil and water and you have one of the most profitable plants known to man
You have the gold crop
And so the the the boundary to entry
Is not that difficult. It's not that difficult to get in the game
Yeah, i'm talking about lisa. I
I do do they have I was wondering if they had
medical marijuana or recreational in aspen and like a nicer communities
Um, they haven't surrounding communities. I saw it in colorado. It was funny. We were we were driving to this place to go, uh, race
Um, not jet skis snowmobiles
We were snowmobile racing with the kids
Fucking hilarious. It's so fun. They have a track
Yeah, please and they take you out and they take you on a tour through the mountains and you come back and you race snowmobiles
It's fun, man. We had a good time. It's always no good silly
You know, don't wipe out and if you do you wipe it out in fluffy snow anyway
But uh, we passed this place and it's really nice like small town
Like pretty nice houses and apparently like wealthy people have their states out there
And there's a weed stop just big big old fucking weed stop
Just come on in and buy some weed. You just got a show with driver's license. My mom bought weed in boulder
This last time. Yeah. Yeah, my stepdad had to stay in the car because he didn't bring his driver's license wouldn't let him in
Is that the first time I wasn't the opposite? Maybe he got it and my mom didn't ever license
They wouldn't let her in was that the first time your mom bought weeds. She just I think so. Yeah, the first time she's ever bought it from
Like a place like that. Who was that to walk in there and explore for that lifetime
It freaks me out. I can't imagine. Well, they were hippies in 1970s like they never dreamed of that
They were like, it's not gonna happen. We gave up on that shit 20 years ago. Nobody understood it. They were like, why?
Like how how is it still illegal? I mean think about it. It was illegal joey in 1970, right?
So when I was three, it was illegal. It became legal when I was 49
Who would have thought who would have thought that with all the evidence not a single person died and all that time
Not a single person died of an overdose. I mean people probably did stupid shit when they were high
But people do stupid. I never thought I would walk into a storm by marijuana
How about getting it delivered? How about speed weed? How about places like that?
Talk to people they show up with weed
What do you need this? I don't like to deliver it to my house. You don't have to go to the house. I get it delivered to the store
What store comedy store? Oh, no, no, I know but no or meet him at el compadre
I like the experience of going in and seeing the weed. I'm about to get I want a professional. No, no, I don't want no games
I don't like surprises
I'm not much for surprise parties. I know what I want
I gotta see the person who's selling it to me. You don't have a connection with them
Where I go perennial. I know two of the girls is one girl from st. Louis that knows I want to smoke that
There's a chick uh death my chinese girl
That knows what I smoke and that the place over here. There's a little
Girl that looks like she's little buts
She really does like she's a runaway
But dog when I she sees me walking in there. She knows exactly what I want and they have bud tenders and you tip them
Right. Yeah, you live like a tip jar throw some money in there. Yeah any young girls
I always put fucking a 10 or 20 in the great the great girls, man
You know when they get like 10 bucks and I when they chop up the tips now when you go in and now
Do you go and you just have to present your driver's license? Yeah, you don't have to have a license for marijuana
No, I still got my I still got my license. You're gonna have they haven't straightened that out yet. That's why we're behind don't don't
That's why people really that's what's not like
No, no, they're not gonna get that shit together to 218
So anything can happen. It's like the way it's like wednesday is on the mickey mouse club dog
Anything can happen there. Oh, you remember angel heart. You must have saw angel heart. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see it? Yeah
After I said it. Yeah, I knew while I I remember that line one. Yeah. Yeah, it's wednesday. It's wednesday
It can happen day. What are you saying?
um
Jesus lee. Yeah, no, he's
before saying
The future is audio. That's what I know. He was gone. He was gone
When people are watching things they're playing on their phone like who the fuck are you hanging out with hanging out with a bunch of add people
They're gonna they're gonna they're gonna do this. I'm like, oh this guy
Why is he I could have sworn cat. Williams had a fucking line on stage. No
Can I can't believe that might have been a really good dream? Yeah must have been I god I was that was one of the ones I was
I was convinced
Cat Williams tiger on stage. Let's try that t i g e r
The audio in the future you fucking yeah, that's so ridiculous. I had me it's but you you made a good point though
No, he did I get it too. I always start to I always start that
I like the idea the podcast because it reminded me of being young
And listening to albums that were dirty
And I had to hide them. I had to listen to them on the on the slide
That's why I really was curious with the podcast
Because I want to be Americans to listen again. Yeah, I really believe in listening. We don't listen
We do not fucking listen, you know
Well, there's definitely more people listening to conversations like this like these long conversations like you do on your podcast and
Duncan does on his and I do and a lot a lot of other people do these like no
There's more people doing this now than
It's just I don't think anybody's ever had anything like this this often before that's so raw
You know, you have Howard Stern, of course, but there was always we'll be right back
Cut into commercial and he's always arguing with the network about this and you know the FCC find them
I mean, he he broke down all the doors
Like if it wasn't for him if it wasn't for him and you know, he got sued dude
The government sued him for just talking about certain shit certain subject matter
It's fucking crazy, but it's still that you had to have a radio station. You had to have a business
You had to be the the main guy competing in the business today
Anybody listening to this anybody listening to this can start a podcast
And if they do it for long enough and they work at it hard enough
And if it's good enough and two people tell two people tell two people and then everybody knows about it and it literally by word of mouth
There's a lot of people and people say, oh, that's easy for you. Say you're walking already established
That is the voice of doom and doubt creeping in your fucking head. You gotta listen
There's people today that can come up with a podcast and it can still hit
Look at those two girls two guys we fucked. You know those girls, you know, they have that podcast guys. We fucked podcast is killing it
It's always top 10 always. They're killing it. They sold out the main room at the store like that
They know those those aren't famous girls
They probably are now but the girls who invented that show they were just a couple female comedians
Wanted to put together a podcast. They came up with a funny name for it and it became huge
Anybody could do that. That's totally doable now, especially with iTunes has a very reasonable and generous algorithm
Like the the algorithm that they use to rank your show
Like if your show your show's been around for years, right?
And you get a a shitload of downloads if some new person comes along
They could have a fraction of the downloads that you do but they'll be right next to you in the rankings
Because it's new so they get an allotment for new shows so that keeps the
The the top 10 and top 20 and top, you know top 50 whatever fresh
You get you get new shows coming in all the time and when you have stuff like that like it makes it
Possible it's possible all it has to do is like, you know
You have someone on say if you had ian and ian has a new podcast and you tell everybody check out ian edwards podcast
You know, it's called a da da da and then people listen to this go that guy was great. Let me check it out
And then they go, I mean, that's what we've done. That's what we've done. We did. How did we do that?
I mean we all of us have hit podcast and we all we all just did it together
I see the people who deviate and start other podcasts and think they want to join this product
I stepped with this. This is what I wanted to do from day one. I already had a plan and I stuck with it
Yeah, but your studio you need to listen
I want people to listen you sick and fucking tired of people not fucking listening
I grew up where you had a fucking listen people till they don't fucking listen
I get it with the fucking text messages and with the bullshit. You don't listen
I told somebody at the store don't text me the first thing he did was text me
They don't listen, you know, and I was raised with the fucking old
Interview sheets remember when you apply for a job in the 70s
It said five lines your name address then there was a box and I said don't answer the fucking questions
Unless there's a check in that fucking box
And my friend taught I was at a sandwich place one time
And I go you need help man. Hi somebody goes. Look at all the people who applied already. I can't hide none of these dummies
Because they all fucking wrote in here and it says don't
So if they can't get that right, yeah, I don't want to do business with them when people don't listen
I don't want to do business with them
Like if I tell you something an hour and two hours later you call me with something stupid
I just don't meet you from the phone like I'm done like I'm fucking done
I can't deal with so I wanted to make people fucking listen again. It's a great gift to have
I love to talk but I also love to fucking listen the other day when you and Dominic were talking for 40 minutes
So that raised my fucking hand. No that raised my fucking hand. No, I'm learning
I didn't have I wasn't in the place to fucking raise my hand
I'm amongst people who really know what the fuck they're talking about
That's a problem in america today people want to chime in when they don't know what the fuck they're talking about
You think I went to jiu-jitsu because I like smelling ass holes and feet and you think I like choking people
It's not in my itinerary, but you know what man? I'm sick and tired of listening to mma fucking analysts
That never even tackled the fucking tackled on me
How are you gonna know what these guys feeling in the ring if you never got clocked in the face?
Do me a favor shut the fuck up. That's with any sports writer
They they they sit there and they insult football players. It was the last time you played football. Fuck off
Do you know what they're doing out there now? No, you know, it happens with basketball
It happens with baseball
There's always these people that you look at them and they've never done nothing in their fucking life
And they want to write about a sport. They don't know. Oh, I was a fan of the game
No, you were a fan, but you never played it. Do you know annex start taking jiu-jitsu? You have to from you have to
I've me just fucking around with you guys
I have to do something. I have to describe a hip escape
I have to know what it's like before I could sit there and judge a guy, right?
What the fuck am I but that goes on a lot today
Let me start up a blog because you know and talk bad about michael's biz being not fighting whatever
What the fuck didn't you done?
What the fuck did you do?
But you do a lot of it is them just trying to get attention and the way to get attention is to be negative
And I've been very vocal fighting against that. I don't like insulting writers
That that shit on mma in particular don't like it at all
Don't like at any level. It's not they're not respecting what that thing is
That thing is an insanely difficult endeavor to be a fighter and to put your emotions on the line
And then for someone to callously disregard that look you can
Pump up the person who won and you could criticize the technique of the person who lost
But they go way further than that. There's some of them that they they make a person look like a buffoon
I don't like none of that. There's no reason for that. We learned a lot with ronda rousey
We learned a lot about society. There's two things that taught me a lot the last year
When ronda rousey got knocked out and when fucking trump won and that fucking mutt
Went to his house for dinner to try to interview for the job after he badmouthed
That's christy
No, no, not the fat fuck
When rick romney went over from trump and then trump won and he went to his house
And you know why people didn't say nothing about it because people do it all the time. They're just snakes. They're disgusting
Well, we've become disgusting people, you know, so that's why nobody ever said wait a second that guy's a fucking mutt
He'll never get he should be ban like united
You you talked about trump. I mean you went out and blasted him not just said red speech
Yeah, pre-red speech and now you're going to his house to try to get a job. You should be shot and hung
He rehearsed that yeah, but americans didn't see it. They just let it go. That's why lee's right
You know what? We all seen this thing with united. I don't fuck united. It's always my third choice
United is my fourth choice
Okay, it's american. I go to delta. I go to jet blue. I try uh virgin
But they don't fly everywhere to go to austin. You got to go to san francisco first
I ain't got that type of time
So the only time I could use them is to go to fucking new york. That's the only use I got out of virgin
They're great in new york though, but united I look at every once in a while like i'm
Should I take the chance every once in a while they come through with like a short flight
It's an hour and a half. You can catch your night. You don't really want to go on southwest
But you know what? Fuck you
Fuck you. I don't like you motherfuckers anyway. You can't wear your yoga pants
Fuck I gotta help you guys with the sound. I know you gotta figure this out. Yeah, you need a
You need a whole board that takes this then um, and something's been going on pop something's been going on lately
But don't tell them compression. Don't tell them because then they all become sound designs. I'll see you tomorrow
I'll hook you up. I'll hook you up with jamie. Yeah, we'll figure this out. I love you. I love you too, brother
I love you. Thanks for everything man. Thank you. Thanks for this weekend too. I was fucking tremendous
We got to eat those wings. That was great if fuck around
None of these fucking west coast wings with rents suck my dick. I love you guys
Liberty live 420
Tamblr, I love you cocksuckers. Have a great night. Have a great week. Thank you
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And I see my cheek for the stick and my shoe book for half of that
Let's not talk about the shirt. She can't even pronounce that got on that guy
My theory is slow. My drop on the quit
Put that money in your mouth since I've been sweet smoking a drink
Drink on the smoke. My whole got tats on her face. So I made them cookies from out
But not that kind until eight
Stuff in a sweatshirt sweet. I waste my blood at the blood at the blood at the blood at the blood at the blood at the blood
I don't know what
So
Drink
Got that drink, drink, got that smoke Swabys smoke, got that drink, drink, drink, got that smoke
Got to get away to escape, I smoke this gas to the facts
Got to get away, get away, I think I need that break
Peace, hola, hola, I need your help again
Ten to many pills, I think I have my heart beatin'
Takin' over those chances, honey, back one, stop with that grummy
My home blowin' that pot, I'm mixin' liquor with them finish
We're already in a break, hope these problems just go away
Wrecked her in my face, I wake normally, I reflect, I be
Smoke, got that drink, drink, drink, got that smoke Swabys smoke, got that drink, drink, drink, got that smoke
Swabys smoke, got that drink, drink, drink, got that smoke Swabys smoke, got that drink, drink, got that smoke
I don't know what's up, he think it's me, stop rollin' that that
I don't know what y'all be thinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', ain't that what I'll be so mo'
Sentin' on so by now, what's up?
Smokin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', smokin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin',
drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin', drinkin