Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #474 - Mickey Gall

Episode Date: April 20, 2017

Mickey Gall, a fighter in the UFC Welterweight division and BJJ Brown Belt, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order.   Blue Apron - Go to blueapron.com/joey to get your first three meals free and free shipping!   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 04/19/2017.  

Hit it motherfuckers uncle Joey here coming at you direct Wednesday the 19th of April for starters I want to thank honet.com our main sponsors. I love them to death Supplements the best you understand me from the assai protein to the hemp protein to the alpha brain Go to honet.com and press in church. Boom get 10% off number two me undies When I go to jiu-jitsu when I got a suit on when I got short time. What do you think I'm banging underneath fucking me undies You understand me? You know why cuz mold all micro mold all a fabric three times softer than cotton But listen go again to me on these calm look at the selection. You see some you like Pressing Joey and me on these will take good care of you right again

Go to me on these calm slash Joey for 20% off your first pair Number three Lee talk to me about blue apron. Oh my god blue apron's the best. I have my dad here He loves blue. I got him on blue apron. I have the whole family on blue apron They sent everything right to your house couldn't be easier easy delicious recipes. It's the it's the greatest All right, you heard it from my man Lee. You know, he's an opportune or he gave up lizard meat So do me a favor go to blue apron comm slash Joey Again go to blue apron comm slash Joey and you're gonna get your first three meals for free All right blue apron me on these and on it. You know, I love you

Kick that mule Lee You motherfuckers have no idea what's cracking tonight. There you go. Kick it Lee kick it Oh shit Oh shit Bond Scott Rest in peace you bad motherfucker. My australians. It's the church of what's happening now doctors Oh shit Are you fucking kidding me

Oh Mickey go What's up, baby? Uncle Joey here we go They got strong man weak what and a heathen brave. Oh shit Right here plain and simple here we go on a wednesday night So go down here you go go down lick that muffler go down lick that helmet go down here you go go down here you go

Listen yesterday I was at home I was cleaning my office. I was throwing shit out. I had a bunch of shit in the shelves And I put on this album UFO strange in the nights. They're live album fucking brilliant Michael Shankler just shredding the fucking guitar But youtube kept popping up albums And they popped up like cheap trick live at budakon. I almost shot myself listening to that nonsense So I went and clicked the next time it was let that be rocked by acdc This is an album that fucking I listened to a thousand times growing up and I just forgot about it

Mickey gone During the third song I had to get him sitting my chair and start crying Like I saw myself walking up those new jersey hills It brings back music brings back those those emotions you felt You know, I remember taking a bus from unison in new jersey to seaside. It's like a Puerto Rican On a hit of acid With a ghetto blaster Listen in the highway the hell with this dude fucking randy mergel resting piece

And the angostina. I don't know what happened to him. He's lost some way in florida And we kept the bus driver kept pulling over going you please gotta lower that fucking thing Once he'd get back on the road. We'd fucking blast that music on it. You want to ask it for that? We want to ask it for that. Oh my god. And in those days we go to seaside heights They used to have the uh water slide I don't know if they still have it down there. This is 1980 80 hours I don't think it's water slides anymore. There was a water slide. Mickey gone that they greased with vaseline And for the extra 10 they give you a wetsuit and you would do 90 miles an hour down that motherfucker

So on saturdays, this was the deal all of us would get together. We'd smoke a few numbers We'd get like a roast beef sandwich whatever's good on the p whatever that that at the end of the seaside There's like a sandwich place that we would drive an hour and a half We to get the open whatever sandwich they had just just phenomenal We would meet saturday and take like a hit of acid and we'd break up into groups Me and you mickey go. We're going to seaside CS what's the other one next to The lbi long beach island that's further down. That's their seaside and then seaside park

Tom's river. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then but lbi is the next one where it's uppity Yeah, you had a girl from school that was going to lbi. So mean you would go to her party. Yeah Billy the fucking kid and dicky sciat would go to a party in seaside park Lee sciat would go to a jewish function in tom's river And the plan was that we'd all meet at the water slide At 11 o'clock when the acid was burning And we'd go on that fucking water slide And one night I almost died because I picked up and there was a bridge

That thing would have fucking taken my head off. I would have I would have fainted you lifted up Why because I wanted to see what my friends were and the guys are yelling go back go back Lucky I didn't turn around and I actually dropped like a fucking mummy I'd have a big fucking thing on my forehead now mickey go in the fucking house dog future ufc fucking champion I could see it in the fucking stars. Don't take a fucking moron to know you're a fucking savage and shit Dick sciat's in the house. He thought he already took the acid. That's how many He asked me if we already took the acid like that is true. That's always a good night You know, you know, I don't have the same weed that they have in uh in florida. It's a little bit better

No, this is this is this is the and you know what it's not even about the reefer It's this Listen, I could give you a five dollar hamburger. I'll give you a fifteen dollar hamburger. What's the difference? 10 bucks the presentation. Yeah, this bong is a meal This bong is like the super room bongs like nobody would look at this You'd go buy a four footer With activation and pumps and shit. It don't do the damage that this fucking meal does This meal doubles as a weapon

You could put a stick of dynamite in it and blow it out at somebody you could take a fucking bottle rocket and shoot it This is the bong of death right here. I don't care who man. I'm not giving them a plug I'm talking about if you're looking for a bong don't go longer than 12 inches 12 inches is the ideal fucking bong glass. You could put ice in there What do you think make it go? Amen I don't even think there is is that our brand for that one. It just seemed like one of like the known All the meals I was just gonna say it's a no-name one. We just got it from like a smoke shop the fucking meal

And and the thing and whatever you go You like you have Armenian people who know you like we went to like let that lickers that Shop and every shop in like the north hollywood radius has at least one Armenian who you know On a first name basis. I fucking love them. I got him. I hold the Armenians close to me She goes deep Who do you think's gonna hang out with me the gentile from the farmers market or the fucking Armenians with leather jackets Thinking they're walking around in brooklyn the fucking are most they don't fuck around It's funny. I showed dick sciat

We our studios across the street from like a high-rise building that they built 22 years too early in north hollywood And now they're building north hollywood around it But there's a there's a lady over there That from time to time has a red light on And a green light and when I was a kid when I was like 17 We would do blow it night and drive around and a friend of ours will always go stop Her light is on I gotta go And there was a girl named debbie

And supposedly for 40 bucks. She'd fuck you around the world right there in jersey right in our neighborhood If a light was red that means she was busy if the light was green come on in Fucking christmas time you'd be confused You would know what the fuck to do. She got relatives up there They're singing the holidays, but Years later like two years later. I moved out of north bergen. I was living in colorado My friends would call me and then they go turn on I witnessed news, you know, like this is way before cable like they have like a

Something different they had They have like a satellite or some shit And the funny thing was that this check the mayor Uh, they had beat a political Genius in my hometown. So they were trying to get back at this mayor So what they did was they hired this hooker the chick who Had the apartment on 81st street And they made it go to channel seven

I witnessed news and say that first off she they gave her a name debris and balling all Like it was a fucking joke And this chick went on fucking this news in new york city the biggest news thing And said how the mayor was her fucking pimp And that the mayor's wife these people had heart attacks her pimp. These guys were christians You know I'm saying and this chicks out there going out You don't know how many times I've been with payoffs with them. They drop it off at a barbershop She had all the information down with all this shit went down

But she had never been to these places. This is way before the camera. You couldn't even prove it She said she would blow the mayor and then sit outside while he went to make pickups and shit dog fucking genius only in jersey Would they pull a fucking move like this and they bought it in jersey like yeah, that could happen in jersey That this it did it did and you know what a year later? They found that with everyone in the veins dead in the apartment close side park That's how you knew that bitch knew where the fucking goods were they were ready and died it too And they killed her. I uh, I do jujitsu with a friend of yours a guy who you grew up with what's his name?

You know him as mad dog his name is wan grew up with him you uh You took some kid dirks walkman. He had like a story with with you involved He took some kid dirks walkman And uh, he was like friends with dirk. You don't remember wan. He's like he's like if you said mad dog, joe joe remember me From where? bergen like north bergen

He told me confidently you'd remember no mad dog doesn't ring a bell I don't remember dorky out of his number out of your dumb bars number out of your brain. What's that? Dumbars number You could you could only remember 150 people And then once you remember get 151 someone gets the boot I don't remember I had I was friends with a kid dirk in boulder, colorado Not the one. Yeah, I was friends with a kid dirk. That was a real dick. He was my boss at the detail shop Another guy that told me was fucking cute. Yeah, and he would come in and give orders for no reason

He was getting like eight dollars an hour. He come in there giving orders and shit. So one day I found a dead rat Like a six inch rat And he was a smoker And I took the fucking rat and I put it in his jacket pocket And I put it was hanging on the tank on the door this idiot. I forgot all about it. You know man smoke three joints I forgot I even did it the next day. He comes to work his car is bang the fuck up He said he reached in his pocket. Oh, he crashed a shit ball. That's awesome. And he pulled the rat out He was pissed. He did it. You know me. I just had that grit on my face. Oh

I hate those people they try and boss you it's like don't boss me man. You know what I mean? I just got a person good. It's really crazy that you said that I just got hit up But you know facebook you get messages But then they go somewhere And they call something else and every once in a while it pops up and goes you have 36 fucking messages And I click on to it and I see 36 messages that I've never fucking gotten in my life, but I don't know About a week ago. I got a fucking message from a kid. I don't know you remember me You robbed me in 1985

He goes I just put two and two together And he goes his name. I don't want to say his name on the fucking podcast He said what his name was and it was derek. It was about a walkman. No No, I don't unless it was a new walkman and we got in the box or something I don't remember. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the whole story. I wish but anyway, he's he does jiu-jitsu No, he's like a future white belt. It's got a kid in it. Nice guy Yeah, it's weird. I don't remember that but this guy I remembered He's you know what I know today is like if you fucked with me

Like weird like if you told me you had good weed And I showed up and I told my friends and there was shit weed We just robbed you like a year later. Yeah, just for being a fucking jerk off. We just robbed this guy did something stupid to me Sure And I went to his house and there's the funniest thing at a social security check Like a tax return in the mail And I fucking took it because I had a banker who would cash those checks in those days He told me bring me anything

But 10% I'll cash anything So I took his check And I took a brand new car stereo in the box. He had in his apartment like an eight ball And I left and I left I left like a week later for colorado And about a year later a friend of mine goes man, I bumped into He said you robbed his house for a car stereo an eight ball His social security check fuck. Yeah, I did And he even said himself because you did so well. I forgive you

He goes you turn to do something with your life. I forgave you. I just want you to know I'm cheering for you and shit. Thank you for robbing me He goes it's an honor He goes it's one of my favorite stories. I tell it now at the holiday. It's a badge of honor to get an honor to have been robbed by you, sir You should be you could be like one of those tours, you know how in that hollywood They have those like vans that cut the tops off of I wrote this house and I wrote that house That joey Diaz victims There's a guy on facebook. I gotta tell you something

it's been 35 years And he still won't let it go Like he's still Salt let it go. Well, how much could you get him for? I have ounce of coke. What is that worth? at that time Maybe a thousand bucks. Oh, I'd still be mad But he would bump he would bump into my friends and cry like you don't understand

I had to get a part-time job at a tire store Because of that guy just please if you bump into him Tell him just to give me half or be forgotten But the funny thing was this guy fucked with me for a while You know those people that like when they have you by the balls they enforce it Like I was bringing him TVs. Okay stolen. Yeah, you're working for okay. I had a guy that was giving me TVs and boxes I was giving this guy a great deal And he's busting your balls. I would give him that and go all right. Give me a gram of blow and we'd be even

One night they were in an Ozzy Osbourne concert. I went over and I go here's the tv and he goes I'm giving you a half gram to that I go okay. So you made it right yourself. I never said nothing to him. I didn't say I didn't get mad I told my friends and they're like that motherfucker. We'll see him again You know, it wasn't like an important thing. It's sure enough It's eight months later because the concert was in october like in june It was like the hottest night of fucking june in jersey when it gets humid And me and my buddy are popping fucking

Vodka grapefruit with orange juice. What do you call those sea breezes? We thought we were johnny goomba and shit like that which And we were drinking and I went to his house. I went to this moron's house and He's telling me how he's going to new york and he just got a fucking ounce of coke And blah blah blah. He's going to a concert Well, if you're going to a concert that means his apartment's going to be free for three fucking hours I'm the wrong guy to be I got three hours to get in here wash dishes

I can make a meal by the time you get back So I went to piss He was weighing the coke talking to his girlfriend on the phone And I excused myself to piss and I opened up the bathroom window You know, it was a little bad because bathroom windows you always leave them open in jersey People always have their bathroom window open. It's whether or not you can fit in those motherfuckers. I was going to say Aren't they really small? They're small, but this window I could fit at that time I was 180, you know what I'm saying I could fit any fucking window, especially if there's an ounce of coke in there

I'm like a fucking rat My spine flattens out. I could fucking zip through the door Dislocate your shoulder a little bit. I left the bathroom window open I go back out. He's still on the phone. Remember when the phone had the long cord? He was like in the kitchen weighing coke talking to his girlfriend And all of a sudden fucking He gets a knock on the door and like 10 people come over to buy blow and everybody goes into the bathroom Like everybody has to pee so at least I had an alibi. I'm like, oh

10 people in there like three other people went in there So I left and I'm talking to my buddy and I didn't say nothing to my buddy. My buddy was a crime stop And I knew he was a rap but he was the only one that was with me that night And I said, you know what? I gotta take a walk. I'm gonna see if he's I didn't tell him that he was going to new york I said because I I don't think they liked each other so I couldn't walk in there with this kid So I said, you know what? Let me go in there and see if he's there. I went back knocked on the door Hey, are you there? I may believe he was inside. He wouldn't open I went around the back to the window. It was wide open. I jumped in landed on the bathtub on my shoulder

I went through that apartment for a fucking hour And couldn't find that coke. I found like $200 cash. I'm like a fucking ring As I'm walking out, I go wait a second that coke is in there I went in the kitchen. I opened up to under the sink and there it was in the top where it contained a waiting for uncle joey Like a cookie waiting for sat down Christmas fucking night. You know what I'm saying? I'm living with a dude We rob him friday and we stay out the whole weekend We get sleep on sunday night monday. We're lifting weights

And all of a sudden me and this dude that are like brothers are lifting weights And we hear a knock on the door and it's the kid with his gorilla brother And they're like, listen, we got to talk to you and my buddy's like what and he goes friday night You came in on my house and you left the bathroom window and you robbed me cocksucker And my friend's like I didn't rob you so I'm in the room lifting weights laughing my ass off Because out of all the people that picked they picked my best friend And he's like get the fuck out of here before I knock you and your gorilla brother. My friend was crazy He comes back in and he's telling me all this and I'm howling deep down inside

Because I'm the one that robbed him and he's like they're accusing me and after about six minutes. He's like Did you fucking rob him? It had to be you. How the how the fuck did you rob him and I'm getting the blame It took him like a year to figure out it was me and every time we'd see my buddy my buddy would go Are you fucking crazy? So once he's he's a thorough investigator. Oh my god figured it out and staying on the case Once he found out he never stopped but it's not that he's It's not that he's asking me for the money now It's how he writes the emails to me like you don't understand

At that point in my life. I was just a mechanic I had to get a job at a store to pay the debt the guy charged me a big And but I everybody that I would see oh my god everybody that I would see Somewhere in the night would go. Oh my god. I bumped into what's his name Dog it was the funniest thing for an hour. He told me how you robbed him and he had a good a part-time job at Woolworth's or some shit I'm gonna go to hell for those fucking things. You know what I'm saying? Who gives a fuck you gotta have a good time Mickey go. I love how joe gives his stories. You just never relate to him. It's like, yeah, I just don't have one like that I didn't I didn't rob anyone

Yeah, but uh, but like not like right off of what you say like I like usually someone could say is I'm like Oh, yeah, I could relate to that like this and have a story similar. You're like, yeah, I was up in a tree We were we robbed these bags. We jumped out hit him over the head I'm like, yeah, no, I never did that I always thought growing up that everybody in jersey had grown up the same Like I always said, you know, like everybody like I used to go down the show and there was some crazy people Yeah down the show when I was growing up. It was crazy And they had to be crazy because gorillas like me came down every summer and invaded their fucking property

Like we owned the place they'd park in front of your house call us benny's. Yeah, I don't know what they call it Benny's shubies, right? He's a shore boy. He's a he's a what what's benny mean? So we're bennies. Yeah, we're like we're north jersey north jersey new york people were bennies Where they're like they're like we're shubies like we're not the locals You know, they don't like us Interesting. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah I heard the show is completely different now. I didn't even it depends depends you got the You know, you got those people like those some of the crazy people, but it's also a lot of like families

The people who stayed on there during the winter, they're the real deal. Yeah, they don't give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah They got a pill. They're tough people. Yeah, they are tough people That's like him. He's like they they have their natural little like south jersey moitai. I'm like, how you guys know how to fight? Like you know what I mean? Like no training just they you know, they surf or they punch each other Nobody serves, right? They know how they do I never saw people surf when I was growing up in jersey you get beat up Like if somebody saw you surfing like come here for a second. Let's talk deep for a second. What are you wearing dog? Why are you dressed like a seal?

So, what do you think brother about what about anything? What's going on with your world? That's good, man Chilling training training hard or to be someone up in uh sometime in the summer Hopefully no one of the cards that the day one of the announced lately Um international fight week and stuff is like in july That's where like they do like to they do two big cards, right? That was like usc 200 last year um I don't know. There's there's stuff, you know, it's u.s.c. There's stuff all the time No, but they just that they announced McGregor

Against tyron. No, I'm gonna find mayweather First he's gonna find for sure and I that probably won't happen till like after the summer Well, they said they booked something in july at that arena where the u.s.c. Yeah For mayweather from mayweather conna. I've heard that I've heard I read it I think Yeah, but I don't see how Yeah, I actually I know you're talking with it. Maybe that's the announcement or something I don't understand dana letting them fight, but if I was dana, I go before you fight mayweather You gotta give me one

That's what I was hoping you gotta give me pick a motherfucker tyron woody. I think the money's too much It's not happening ball ball seems to be in like conner's court with it You know what I mean? Because if they're both gonna get a hundred million to just show It's gonna be the biggest fight in like Combat sports like biggest boxing fight biggest MMA fight. It'll be this it'll be both be big Brings two worlds together. Hopefully they hopefully they'll have like an undercard with a little bit of both a little boxing a little bit of MMA

Yo, can you imagine they did a kickboxing if they really agree in the middle like we're doing it on on on mayweathers terms The way they're gonna do it and in a real fight conner stomps them conner will kill him in like a real fight Kickboxing and then boxing, you know conners have his work cut out for mayweathers. Uh is a master Defensive genius, you know, he's not get doesn't get hit much So I say they meet in the middle and do kickboxing let him have some kicks But mayweather would never go for that. It's his way the highway Because he's smart like you said like we were talking about for keys calculated. He's smart. You know what I mean? Well, he said it he goes for a long time. I was the b-side

Then I went and beat packy out Now i'm the motherfucking a side. Yeah, so, you know, now I get to call my fucking shots And that happens in everything that happens everything conners doing it. Here's my question making because yeah Mayweathers 49 and now and he has all the money in the world and I know 100 another hundred million is great Yeah, but to risk 50 and oh Like like that's why I think he'll like he won't I'll tell you this like will you risk that like that seems like Once you start getting building that up. I think about it. This would you risk a million dollars? And this is the best boxing fight. He's gonna get

He doesn't want to fight one of those he retired. He retired. He doesn't want to fight one of these killers Like he's you know, he got cannello young, you know, there's all these other guys that will give him a real boxing fight But he's taken an MMA fighter and putting them in his You know his arena now I'm I have no boxing experience. Are they looking at McGregor the way they were looking at CM punk versus you? Do you think like is that is it that level of disrespect or like, what do you think they think McGregor is that's Something hard to say I say McGregor McGregor. No, McGregor poses On the real McGregor po poses way more of a threat than CM punk. I mean

Obviously, you know, right? Yeah, like he's at least a legit. He's a great fighter But Yeah, I don't know. I bet they they see a lot of things they think they can expose because every every boxing commentator who comes on TV is just like he stands zero chance and that makes I don't understand the how that makes he's I mean, he has a punch of chance. We see that chance But it's it's not a it's on paper. It Floyd should be a massive thing. Now, what weight would they fight that because I'm gonna guess around 55 which for connor 55 that's that's what I'm what I'm gonna guess. I can't remember exactly

Maybe look up exactly what floyd fights. I I'm not sure. He's like he's somewhere 40s 50s See that's gonna be the interesting thing. We know connor's got great hands. Sure. We know that he's got great hands Connor has great kicks too. I understand but that's never gonna fucking happen. So I know, okay No, I'm not talking about the box anymore. I'm just saying the real a thing that makes him so great at MMA is not just his hands It's his kicks. No, it's his kicks. But I'm talking about if he fights may weather. Yeah, of course What's the whole thing may whether is a master? Yes of getting a defensive, but he's also how old 40

That makes a difference Not really maybe your eyes your movement. You got that. Is he 40? I mean, he's such a fucking great athlete Sure, I don't think the eight doing this is he can walk, you know, I've been here You know I'd love to see it. But one part of me I want to see connor and the uoC, you know, like for sure I'd rather I'd rather see him fight the 55. I'm a purist man. And I don't like when they start Fucking around. That's why I've been disenchanted when the uoC with the last two or three years I get it because I started fucking around too much playing. I like the purist

Shit number one fights number two if you don't want to fight him Then give it to somebody else and that number one gets relinquished. Yeah Whether you're having a kid whether your mother's dying. It doesn't matter. You gotta fight You can't take off two fucking years. You're injured. I'm with you. I'm with you, you know, but once you Like I've said a thousand times once you start doing things for one person You have to do them for another And that's when okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what that's what jim Miller's saying He's saying you're holding up the whole 155

uh division But you won't let anyone I can't jim's like I can't go fight a kickboxing match He's like, but they'll let connor do special stuff. That's his that's his kind of fights But you uh, most people in uoC they they're not allowed to do that if kind of fights, whatever his name is Floyd yeah for a hundred million dollars. Sure Dana whites taking a piece. Oh, absolutely. They're getting a piece They're facilitating it. Yeah, there's no getting them out of here. That's what gets him out of his next fight in the uoC

That's why I think it's it's smart for the uoC to do it. Why not? It's smart. It's it's a thousand things. I can't call it. It's a big fight. It's it's history I think so he's been fighting at welterweight in his last few fights. So what's that weight? Uh, I believe it's 51 I mean, let me look it up. I don't know But I do think that connor's like a good Size bigger than floyd like connor would be coming down to 55 and floyd would be eating to get up to 55 So that that's another thing that can make this a little more fun than it being the master Versus a guy who's fighting outside his sport, you know

And I think connor could hit hard Heck yeah, connor can hit hard left hands and conica and kind of has a great chance against Mayweather not just a punches chance connor's got a good chin I think would it be 10 rounds? That's the other thing. Who do you think that's that's tougher for connor? After like five rounds it becomes something different but three minute rounds. He's used to fives. He's done five fives And he seems another rings a little bigger than the octagon, correct? Um, I don't know and floyd knows how to use that ring. Yes, absolutely his advantage. That's going to be that's huge The terrain you're fighting on. Yeah, the terrain is huge. That's sonsu stuff

There's a lot of different things involved there that Let's see if it even happens. Let's see if it even fucking happens. Yeah, who knows? I hate like predicting what's going to happen. What's the weight lee 147? You See that's a that's a toughie right there. Yeah, you'll come up. It's a toughie You think floyd will come up. Yeah, hearing 47 confirms what I thought. What does floyd walk around that? Floyd Boxers don't do the tremendous weight cuts. MMA fighters do they like they're on weight on that week in camp They stay training at their fight week

Why don't UFC fighters do that or mma because mma has a huge wrestling influence and wrestling You suck as much weight down as possible and make yourself as light as possible So you have a size advantage. You could be the bigger man stronger man, you know But if everyone's doing it exactly tonight, so now every what you're right Everyone's doing it. So everyone needs to do it just to keep up right. Yeah, exactly, you know Yeah What a wild fucking world we live in. Yeah, I never thought I would see fucking people in a cage kicking and wrestling There you have it. It's become a fucking

A brand thrill To it's a brand. It's a thrill man. And you're right there, isn't it? You're right You're going in at the right time. You're young You got the world by the balls. You got nothing to lose, right? Yeah Fuck all that get to fight get to go on and fight in front of people by now They already give you a fucking fight, but it takes time They want to see what's going on July still July seems like a long time away, but it's really not a few months. Yeah, yeah, it's right there

It's so weird how I I get to stay home from May 13th to June 20 fucking third That's like five weeks continuously. I've never do that shit. Yeah But I have so many plans going to be like my training camp is stand up Yeah, like that's where I sit down for five weeks and really chase and work at the store and stuff I work everywhere. Oh, you go. Okay. All right. Cool. Yeah, you got it, right? When you go to the store, it's like fighting the UFC now Yeah, you got to bring your a game when you go to the store. Yeah, we were there last night

Yeah, and to bring your a game down there. It's fucking tough all the time. You know, you want to experiment I like to experiment so I go down to smokers Okay, yeah, yeah side kicks like I work out my spinning back kick And I go and nobody knows nothing go. Yeah, go down a little boxing gym with all that So I try to do the same in there. Yeah. Yeah last night. I went to flappers You know Tomorrow night. I'm an oxnard and but next week like Tuesday. I'll go to a different place There's a room that they're telling me around the corner here. Yeah, there's a fucking place

An insurance place they turned into a stand-up comedy play next to the sushi place with the derating Right there by 7-eleven by the police station sushi place with derating. Did they get any fucking business? Tons of business. I would never listen for six dollars They give you a food poisoning dog. I went there two times and I left there You go there if you got weight to drop you wants to lose some quick weight I like that two times because it was open like one day I go. Let me see if these people got business Me and Lee went in there. I didn't you go in there with me and leave me You brought me in there after I can't believe you're accusing me of hotel sushi

Well, the first time it wasn't bad. It was close by I didn't go on yelp. I took a chance It wasn't nobody got sick Nobody got sick. It wasn't they gave you four items on the menu For like six bucks on a california row And as you're reading it, you're like, this is two day old sushi, but I'm gonna live I swam in the Hudson This ain't no big thing Isn't it isn't the name like sunnies or something?

Sunny D's isn't like like a jewish old man's name. It's a jewish old man with two mexicans working They don't know what's lickest fucking english But let me tell you something. They're out there Under a highway. Oh my god Okay, they're under a highway The corner 10 feet away is rat infested dumpster And you know what they have sidewalk eating And there's people out there eating like it's fucking paris friends. It's al fresco. Yeah, it's al fresco

Between the pollution and there's times I go to that 7 11 They don't want to go home. There's a 7 11. There's a 7 11 a dry cleaner a bartending school All right, so they have a bartending school there and people go in there and drink Really like from 8 to 10 that's what they do. So they want to train you So neighborhood people go in there and get like a beer for like a dollar You learn how to get a beer how to open it and shit like that That's hysterical how to mix a greyhound And then they go next door to the sushi place with the d rating

And they eat their heart sound they're out there, you know talking about gluten and ha ha ha World peace and hillary clinton should have done it But meanwhile they're eating d fucking sushi It's hysterical but next to that There used to be an all state place and now Some kid cleaned it out put a stage in there and chairs And for two bucks you go up there and they let you go on stage And they run till like three in the fucking morning

That's what I'm scared to go to that 7 11 now every time I go in there. See it's a different comedian. Hey, what are you doing? What am I doing? What are you doing? You're in the fucking corner over there with rats Is that the green room with the rats? No, that's just a little room over there, but that's really cool. You know how many times I've parked it I've gone in there like one in the morning Just to get like a soda and and and no smoking gum or a lighter And I'll sit there and within eight minutes. I'll see your rat the size of my fucking arm Right there 20 feet away and that's when I run in the car like a little fucking pussy

I fucking hate rats I don't like it was like vermin animals like I don't like like in uh, we went to ruckers in New Brunswick They have like these ballsy ass pigeons Or you'll be walking and a pigeon like won't move for you So like you have to you end up finding yourself walking out of the way I'm like, I know I'll take out a pigeon. I know I'll beat a squirrel But at what cost? Like it scratches my face. It poke pokes me and the bird flies up tries to beak me in the eye

So I I do the same thing. I just avoid them. I love animals, but I'll kick a pigeon That's what I'm saying. I don't want to I don't want to have to twist isn't a little I don't like those little fucking license-fested motherfuckers with their disgusting feathers shit and Plucking They're dirty. They're dirty, man. They're dirty. I fucking hate pigeons with all my heart and shit That place serves pigeon meat, too What place that place that you went that day that you and paul are with I just read the review. They serve fucking pigeon and Poorly he calls me every minute

He calls me and my dad I gave my dad a few options Including stout because I knew I took him through the joey questions. I'm like, what's joey gonna ask if I asked him? Okay, stout. We got him. He wanted to go get some mediterranean. They have no mediterranean down there fucking florida It's not like that. Do you guys take a plane all the way out of here and embarrass me? We've been going there since I moved here, uh And that's what happened to c. Lee too, but I came for the sample. Jesus christ almighty He calls me and he we go through this whole 10 minute barrage of He didn't even talk to my dad. He's like, I want to talk to people who eat hummus and hung up the phone

And my dad's like does he call you? Uh and ask him about your meals a lot. He's like every meal. I like give the report of what I eat Oh, it's I do it just to just to shock myself That's my entertainment. Whatever his dinner is. Yeah, that's what my entertainment is Because there's always a story He could call me and tell me he's gonna go get a lobster tail And he'll call me an avalanche And it completely changed to something

So fucking outlandish That I won't understand I could see if you go now. We didn't want lobster. We wouldn't got fish But he'll go from like a lobster tail To like the worst taco place in the country He could talk to me about mexican food And we'll talk about how he loves it. He can't wait to have it and then I will later He's eating at a black fried chicken place and he can't finish the chicken because it's so fucking bad

This guy goes to pismo eats pizza in hollywood. You go to on me, but you always go to joes It's like tradition. You go to joes And you get and you get pizza when we go to hollywood. Where do I take you the last three times? Okay, it's tradition Him and paula love pizza. They love bad pizza They're at on me, but all they had to do is walk 30 yards to go to joes 30 fucking yards of this where'd they go? They got in their car and went to the worst fried chicken place In the fucking country. They couldn't even recognize. They would have done better at Popeyes

We would have. It's sad. It's not the worst. It's supposed to be the best, but who knew That's what happens. You told me not to use yelp Who hasn't heard of musculoskeletal waffles when you're right at on me, but there's only one place to go And that's joe's pizza. I mean you'll travel two hours to get him bad I'm gonna call you. I felt like no don't call me. This is just a check where this is stuff. You fucking know off the top of your head He went to austin Thank god. I stopped him. He was going to all you could eat chinese buffet Who goes to austin to eat chinese food? They would have poisoned them

They would have poisoned them. Thank god for bobby sharon to take him to eat mexican food Chewie's chewie. I mean, you know, it's always mr. Sayat. You don't understand what I live with Today, listen, he's happy with blue apron for a year two weeks ago. He went. What are you doing? I'm at the supermarket buying parmesan cheese Like what are you cooking spaghetti because no no This company they deliver this stuff was so bad They had to throw it away. They never got it again. They were so embarrassed Like I don't take a chance

I'm from jerry. I don't take chances There's no reason to take a chance if that chinese place has a lunch special for 495 With a diet coke. I go there every day That's where everybody goes. I don't care if they want to eat greek Sandwiches, I don't even pay attention. Like I can't eat chinese food. That's great. You're eating chinese food today I don't know nothing I don't even ask people Like what would you prefer it today? I don't give a fuck. We're going to get the best

You want to eat the best you want to fucking suck dick and take a chance and get sick and Tell him make it go all this way. Today today feels like the first time actually meeting lee Because although I was I was here with him last time lee wasn't here with us. Me neither Yo, you guys were popping those things like oh my god, that's why I gave him a full end. Oh you did. Yeah, I gave him a full end This is the second time. Okay. He just got back into it, right? Yeah, but they ain't doing dick No, no, and I'm pretty happy because I lowered my tolerance And now if cbd oil is working better for me. Yeah, and I got my wife hooked on cbd oil Which is fucking unbelievable

It's good for you. That's just great for you She kept telling me I don't sleep. I'm up at three in the morning. I said that's over Take the cbd oil so for a week. She's been taking cbd oil. I take it too sleeping like a zombo You know what she said to me tonight dinner. I looked at the thing. That's thc. I'm like, what the fuck you think you're dealing with You didn't know that that's why you sleep like a zombo She knows she hers with thc in it. Oh fuck. Yeah, that's the only way I do it because it gets it to the system a lot See I got the stuff they get selling jerseys like it's no I do use it, but it's like it's not psychoactive There's no thc in it. This isn't psychoactive. But if you don't smoke, okay, you get something

I got I sent it to my godmother for her hips Okay, and she kept calling me and then she kept saying man. It took the pain away. But boy I slept 13 hours last night. That's what people want My buddy, yeah, my buddy just got a shoulder surgery and he's been taking a lot of it too I take it because it's good for like for your brain stuff like that. I take shots in the head sometimes So, you know, I gotta be preventative. No, it's good for brains. It's good for circulation It's just good. You sleep better. It's good for muscle pain. Like yeah, I won't take an information all that Because I was actually getting fucking hungry

Like I'll get back from jujitsu. I pop two towels I took a gallon of water and I'll spray three of those sprays under my tongue And a couple weeks ago. I almost didn't make it to the fucking podcast. I'll give you the munchies You see me fucking munchies, too. What do you mean you didn't make it to the podcast? I don't feel shit from it. I don't get any No, no, no because you have to get one for one That's what it's called. There's one for one There's two for one. Then there's no thc. Okay. Good one for one a guy like you has to do no thc because of the testing Like dick you could do one for one

So before you leave tell me to get you two bottles of one for one from perennial There's 64 a piece And they're fucking tremendous. You'll sleep like a baby. Can't wait. You'll sleep like a baby Yep, hold on you take it out of the box You take the label off you put the cap on it You put it in a baggie so it doesn't spill and you put it on the inside of your shaving kit If they look in there I hope their mother's burning help

You know what i'm saying? What are y'all looking there for? What are y'all looking there for? This isn't your business If they're gonna be that creepy and you and then I and they're gonna take it out and read it and it's not their world guys So they're really not gonna bust your balls. No, no does this man want to know a cbd or just keep saying a cbd or And if a fucking scientist comes over and says this has thc You blame it on lisa. I add my fucking son That sack of shit I told them no thc's play the fucking trick on me. That's one of a bitch

I'm never told that they're not gonna come back and throw lee in jail. They might they don't know lee They're not going to throw you in jail because then you're gonna play stupid too And go, I don't know what you're talking about my dad his back hurts and he has fucking headaches What's the rule number one of the church? You don't know nothing I don't know nothing. You don't know nothing. So he's gonna blame it on you. You're gonna blame it on him It's a big misunderstanding. You'll donate a hundred hours to the jew federation of america For a scholarship to summer camp to shabbat camp, right? Yeah, what's the shabbat camp? What's the name of it? Oh, how about how bad shabbat the telethon?

I thought you were saying shabbat Yeah, same difference. They do the same. That's awesome. But they're not gonna fucking say nothing to you. They don't even know what it is guys They really don't it's not like they're trained in cbdo They really not they don't the cut they we're still very blind to this still So if they find that they're gonna ask you what it is. Listen, there's cbdo. You could spray on your back And they're free bro, you know many times my back is hurt like just sore from going to jiu-jitsu And they have samples at the wheat store. You just take them pull up your shirt And by the time you walk out of there, you have no pain in your back

It feels like you put that freeze on your back and shit You know, I'm not a thc expert But uh, I might make you go. No, no, no I'm a fucking idiot compared to other people But I know how things make me feel and I know how it affected my wife My wife don't get high today. She was giggling. She said that's got thc in it. You motherfucker That's why the other night I couldn't tell who you are. She says she got up in the middle night And she didn't know who the fuck you went for like 10 minutes

She goes, I didn't know if you fucking went to sleep. I she that's how high she's getting But last couple weeks ago, I did five sprays and I got up at four to pee The room was purple. It's like that time I did ecstasy and woke up in the middle of the night I took out an x1 went home fell asleep. I got up to pee in the middle of the night. The room was fucking purple What's going on dawg You can't relate to that making you don't want to talk to me about nothing. Oh, you know, I love talking to you, man What I'm still talking to me. Um, where do you go to jiu-jitsu? Where is this place? Uh, david adives. It's uh, gracing new jersey It's in levin on new jersey. How far from

Uh, harry. What's his name the fucking guy that harry got that port in the ufc that has Henry new jersey He's got the jiu-jitsu You talking about a nicotone? No, no, no nicotone jim miller, uh, ricardo almeida ricardo almeida has a school in new jersey Hamilton Hamilton, Henry. I don't know what if something with an h. Yeah, Hamilton Hamilton Henry. They both say yeah, it's a great school I uh, I'm it's a little far for me though. Okay. Yeah Mine's it mine's a great school too. David adives a man Is it geeky? No, I'm geeky. What is it geeky and no geek mostly geeky actually

Okay, you do a lot of geek a lot of geek and you teach with the geek. Yeah. Yeah, I love the geek. I love the geek too I like the the shorts, but I don't get it the geeky is a fun game If you can get out of arm bars and everything with all that friction the geek you're no geek my defense is so I slip out of anything. You know what I mean? Really? Yeah What you it makes your no geek defense so good because with with geek it slows it down You have to be calculated you have to use the right moves You can just use little poles and bursts and you slip out of stuff because of the because of the the lack of friction Like the slippery the sweat the geese slow all that stuff down. So it's a it's a really a different game

I love it. I love it too. I'm so bad at it and I love it really You're putting in the work though, man. You got him back into it real big time You're looking at him. He's all skin. Remember he was getting a little soft He's out here and Cali eating way too many avocados You know getting a little chubby soft around the edges and I look at him, man I am hooked like a drug addict. I think that If I don't go I could tell the difference on stage I could tell the difference in my home like when I go and I get choked out

And let's say I do one good thing, but I get kicked five times I focus on what I did good, man. Yeah, so I leave there feeling great I don't focus on that. I got choked up by a 26 year old kid. I don't You know, he passed my god. I had him an half god for a little while You know, we tried to fuck around. He's a purple belt. I never wrestled before So everything to me was some scratch all those muscles that you need were out of develop them scratch So the first year was just getting my elbow strong learning how to post

Learning how to fucking get up on one knee, you know, I was 340 and going in there and huffing and puffing Paranoid with uh, I had the panic attacks being on the bottom Look at how good it's making you look now. No, you're coming down, man. You're what you you're getting out a lot And that's the way to get it down. It's to go in there. I go in there a little earlier I go in there 45 minutes earlier and I do all the warming up shit on my own So by the time I get on the mat, I gotta have fire on these guys. I could breathe easier I won't go into panic mode. That's smart. I do the warm-up. So you don't get hurt. Yeah, man I'll keep you on the mat. Listen, I'm 54. Yeah, it's the warm-up is as long as the work out

Yeah, you need to you don't fucking think so you're gonna pop something the warm-up has to be I do very long warm-ups to Achilles tendons. I jump rope I fucking do sit-ups push-ups. He's got those rings And I just twist them. I pull my hips up and I pull myself up. I breathe in Then I let my hips go down. I do five sets of ten of those good to engage all those muscles I'm all fired by the end of that. I'm already sweating with that rascal on. I'm taking my g top off I take those steel bats. I work my shoulders. I do the fucking push-ups. I stretch my back I I mean, I just do it. So when the time I go in there, I go through all that dizziness

And all that you should stay home. Yeah, call resistance. You become a pussy. I shouldn't have come I ate at 8 30. Maybe you're like, yeah. Oh my god. Do I still get that sometimes dog? I was telling I go to get hypnotized for fear. Have you ever turned around though? Every time you walk in right you did actually turn around one time I pulled up park before I went to alberto cranes the first time I went the first time. All right. That doesn't I say that doesn't count then. I wanted a saturday pulled the car up parked sat there for 10 minutes Started the car

And I was so starting is the hardest thing. I was so pissed at myself that whole weekend Like that sunday I got up and I tried to redeem myself By going to other schools like where else can I go today? And I said fuck it. I'm going monday And when I walked in there just doing the warm up My fucking heart was in my throat. Yeah, I remember the first my first day I was talking about wanting to do jiu-jitsu. I was 16 and then my dad found a place. It was a sunday He was like, come on. Let's go. You're talking about this all the time. Let's go. We're going. I'm taking you to that

And I was like, no, I don't want to go because like it's a weird it's a weird thing You're like you're a little nervous about it, you know But it the hardest that's why I would say the hardest part is starting just get for people like trying thinking about it Just you got to just go in it's the hardest part. You just got to do it I take my daughter to school by 8 45. I get home I send some emails. I make some calls By 9 45 I start getting nervous. Yeah That's when my body starts telling me, you know, what it's a sunny day

Why don't you just work out at home and get some vitamin D? You're gonna be locked in the gym sniffing balls and feet. Yeah with a fucking guillot. That's what all I mean, it's just you get all this fear coming into it as I'm making my fucking protein drink And as I'm filling with a little water flask I'm talking myself out of it dog like I'll go tomorrow. I'll go tonight at 6 30 before the podcast. Oh my god. And then After I shake up the protein drink and I take my little aspirin from my heart. I go I gotta go Yeah, I go put on these on knee pads, you know, they fucking go and yeah

You feel so much better after right? Soon as you walk in you you're gonna hate yourself all day if you skip it and you About yourself all day if you go it's three hours of my week. It's therapy. It's like it's therapy. That's what it is for me Yeah, yeah, and every time I go I try to last a little longer I try not to tap out. That's it, man. You know, I just try to Uh, so it just I wanted to do something beside comedy comedy wasn't cutting it for me in that sense You know, I don't have a great time when I go to a comedy club and see 20 comics anymore It's your your little it's jaded. I've been doing it for a little too long

I've been doing it for too long. So I enjoy seeing some comedians Yeah, but other ones I could do it out and you probably gotta like they all want to talk to you No, no, no Pete, what do you mean? It's just we have like a million friends there. You know what I mean? It's like when you go to If we if you go to mark Henry's gym You got five UFC guys. That's a lot of fucking testosterone. Yeah. Yeah, that's catons. That's uh tones down the short That's a lot of fucking testosterone in one room. Even if I love mickey

Little bit of testosterone in the room. Yeah, I like that mickey shows me a Uh, uh take down, you know a single a different way for joey to do a single and while he's teaching me I do it on him. I do a little harder You know, I just did just little things that so with comics now that I go down there. I know where we stand I just want to do my business and get out of there. So my therapy is when I go to jujitsu And nobody knows who the fuck I am I sit in the back. I'm that fat fuck his face is getting red During the warm-ups and during the hip slides, you know the hip escapes and shit

But then after that whole thing I tie on my belt and I remember when I started I would go to the fundamental class And go to myself. I hope I never get promoted to the advanced class. Yeah Like I don't want to ever want to go to the advanced class I'll stay in this fucking fundamental class until I'm 90 Because it's like they break it down more You only roll once but you break the guard for like 15 or 20 minutes The other side you break the guard for 10 minutes then for the last 20 or so

You roll eight minute rounds. I didn't want to do that. Long rounds. That's good eight minutes No, no, no, that's a long fucking time. That's a long round. Yeah. I'm an old man. Yeah, most games do five That's I like that. I like that. Yeah, it's kind of it's kind of weird But yeah, you know what I go I dread it, but I'm the one I walk out that door If a car hits me God forbid he'll bounce off me That's how you feel because you overcame the hardest thing that you wanted to do that day Whether it's write a letter Whether it's apologize to somebody it's all the same fucking feeling you get the same that nervousness that uncomfortable

That's good for you though. That's really good for you. You know strong and strong Yeah, you know, I get hypnotized from my fear. Yeah for when I when I start huffing and puffing I can't control my heart rate and it sends me somewhere like I get anxiety I gotta really control it and control my breathing and slow down my heart rate. So I started getting hypnotized and I was telling her that The problem with my jujitsu and my comedy was the same approach I was going over there all fired up like it was like it was comedy jujitsu isn't comedy If I go fire it up into jujitsu, I'm gonna burn out just thinking about it When I shake mickey's hand and I look and see his black belt. I already lost

That's the type of guy I am. I just wait for you to fucking do whatever you can because I'm scared of you That's how I would do it now at least I don't have that fear no more. It's not about the belt. It's about the technique and me moving around and passing your guard So I had little fears if you passed my guard and got on top of me I couldn't breathe. Yeah, I didn't want to have that. I wanted to Just now I had an altercation. I told you guys not an altercation But I yelled somebody because they were just trying to be Johnny fucking Tough in front of him and I remember walking into the weed store

And my anxiety was starting to come up, but I controlled it and I even turned around and looked back at him And he walked into his fucking car. I couldn't do that years ago I would fucking lose it like I and I don't want to lose it So I wanted to tell her I was telling I want to keep the fear for comedy But I want you to take away the fear for jujitsu Yeah, do you follow me for comedy? It's like fighting. You've been doing forever. You're gonna get out there. You know, you're gonna Yeah, I know I'm gonna get out there But you still have should have a little fee you need to have that to it's got to be sharp

Keep it sharp if you're walking into the octagon and you're 30 feet away You have to have A slight fear and then it converts into a certain type of energy That fear becomes what it potential on adrenaline is energy that's stored and kinetic energy Is energy that moves It's so fucking weird how this works in your body and unless you've been on stage You really and you've been on the radio, you know leaves been on stage It's a euphoric fucking thing

Because at first as you're walking towards it. It's like you're walking to get shot That's how I feel when there's times that there's shows And there's 600 people in the audience and I have friends in the audience I'd rather you shoot me as I'm walking up But once you touch that microphone And you say those first couple words Whatever was in your stomach Those butterflies and that fart that gets stuck in your ass

You ever get those nervous farts it pushes your shit out and it just smells horrible Like it smells like you're intestines are in the room I'll fart sometimes before I go on stage like just Nervous parts like a nervous fart like I'll get a little coat of sweat on me Like anxiety sweat. I'll feel that it's so many weirds how that energy transcends in you Once I touch the microphone though And I say those first couple words that energy goes on to the audience and now I have no fear How does time work for you guys like what I mean like

In in terms of what does it go faster? When I went on stage sometimes it seemed like five minutes took forever and sometimes 30 seconds went by no no time at all Like how does it work for you guys? How does how does it work in the room? I'm curious. That's a great question. Um I I guess it's a lot of it's just like autopilot like I you don't hear a lot of your corner You're you're just kind of locked in like in in the cage in the fight I always tell people like amateurs or people before they fight. I'm like, yo, it's it's different in there I remember my my friend ability williams he told me he was like, yo just you'll see it's different in there and it's different because you're

It's it's just very every everything's heightened You know, it's like you you're uh, you're very locked in you're very uh Like tunnel vision So time is like you kind of have an idea aware. Maybe hear your corner. I'll hear little bits and pieces Um, not everything probably. I mean, you know what I mean? I just like I hear spots of what they're saying and then You know, I hear I hear the last 10 seconds You have an idea just from because you're always doing five minute rounds, but not like, you know, so What I meant more is like does it seem like it takes longer than five minutes at for some rounds?

Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, I could see every it's it's weird It's one of those things where it's like it seems very fast and it's all also forever at the same time Well, if you're getting punched in the head, it seems like forever If you're punching the motherfucker That shit goes by quick and shit, you know what I'm saying, but if you're getting hit in the head I can imagine that even actually it doesn't like hurt like it. No It's just like oh, it's like you just can't it's like a video game here. You're just like bomb. Okay. That's a thing Yeah, no once you go back and the adrenaline goes out and the pain starts. Okay. I guess I got hit. Oh my god

Jesus christ I would I I Thought that you guys would zero in more on the trainer Like all you would hear is his voice like throughout those eight weeks of training camp He was yelling so much some some people I bet do but I've also frost frost ahabi said that you shouldn't be really hearing much He said you should be so locked in that you That you shouldn't you should be tunnel vision. You should just be seeing your guy and you should be locked in You shouldn't really be hearing much, you know, and you I have people that come up to me before shows

And she shouldn't be mr. Diaz it's uh It's my my myself and my wife's anniversary My name is bob johnson and my wife's name is elinor johnson When you go up there till I can you give us a shout out People have no idea That once I hit the stage

Your name and you I think about the last thing I think about it's so fucking weird Like you don't even think about you don't even remember that shit If I don't see you You're dead Like you come up to me and though there's three bachelorette parties in the show I won't even remember when i'm getting up there Yeah, I don't have time to remember your fucking name and your wedding Like when people contact me and say hey during your show

Can you do not even in a million fucking years? I think you purposely forget. What's that any of that information? No, I don't purposely forget you fucking forget if you're doing your job You fucking forget If you're focused in on what you're doing and your materials coming from your heart You're not thinking about maria bob johnson unless they you're fucking parents and they're in the audience And they're watching you bomb a dire slow death That's when you'll get a fucking sympathy hug by going listen My parents have been married for 80 years and they're in the audience tonight the crowd goes crazy

And now you got a little daylight, you know what i'm saying? You follow i'm saying to you So yeah, that's the only time you'll remember if you're dying so bad There you go. Okay. Here's my chance to be nice guy or you'll thank the troops Let's give it up for the troops as soon as they say let's give it up for the troops. You're dead. That's the dead Okay, and I respect the troops. I'm not saying nothing bad about the troops, but that's what those do Usually I give a waitress a shout out You know, yeah, it's like it's like a crutch if i'm getting a beating

I'll give i'll tell them to tip the waitresses Which in fighting is like going back to the corner and your coach telling you what to do I'm programmed to tell you about the waitresses But in my mind i'm thinking about one of the next two bits coming at you I got a big deep bitch. Yeah, this this fucking little joke about the waitresses is ending in 10 seconds What's coming out of your mouth your mind? Yeah, your mind's going a million miles. It's really fucking weird. It's really Just weird like I I love when a fighter would go this i'm gonna go in there punch him in the face And unbomb and you go what?

That's a taste of tremendous focus To go into a fight knock a fucking dude out Get on top and spin him an unbomb for no reason That takes a tremendous focus. It it takes the same amount of focus To go on stage and try to like do 55 Like I tell people all the time people come up to me and go Hey, do you want to party after the show? Listen to me after the show The adrenaline wears off

So those two hours are standing Me sinking into the fucking stage because when i'm on stage my gorilla feet Sinking to the stage You guys don't see it because I wear size 13, but I got a size 14 Adidas So I can make my feet clamp into the floor. These are the same things that fighters do It's the same fucking thing So after the first show I go back there and sit down Can you imagine rolling for an hour and then making me you sit down for an hour

Get cold and then going back out there. That's the toughest Show of the week is the second show To get started. All right. All right. That's interesting. Yeah. So now your energy has to be at a complete different level You got to get that energy back twice. You really got to get that energy twice So what I usually do is loosen up with people in the room not do my jokes on them But pick an argument You follow me something like I'll torture lee about what the fuck you eating even if I like what he's eating I'll ask him what he's eating just to engage him

Into getting me hyped again. Lee doesn't know i'm doing it. He has no fucking idea. I'm doing it You know rogan and red band knew They would put their phones on the table I didn't believe in men should have matching phones at that time Okay, so they used to all have matching phones I would look at those phones and the heat in my heart Would burn up when I would go on stays like a killer You know, it's so many people have no idea what really happens. I can't party after a show

Two hours of standing feels like I've been running for four hours So it sounds like you're Expanding your energy in the proper place. Yeah, you shouldn't be crazy, you know That's they say if you're working hard enough in the gym, you shouldn't have the energy to be going out and fucking around, you know My hips don't hurt my hips are great. I exercise my hips all the time when I get off stage these two points appear From your energy coming from your fucking nutsack That energy comes deep from the fucking nutsack. It's kind of travel through those

Capillaries and those chakras as they say You know what i'm saying? I gotta drop chakras and these bitches for these non acupuncture. Mother fuckers that callie talk That's that callie. What's up, Lee dropping on me, baby boy You guys want to split this head acid? You ready to go? Lee sciat or what? Let's see what sciats go hard, man I'm impressed like father like son. Listen. We ain't got time to fuck around when the sciats are doing that thing The sciats are doing their fucking thing. Okay I think we're gonna stick with the weed tonight. Jesus Um, no, let's give him a piece of blood. What do you think Jesus decide? He wants a little bit. Fuck. Yeah

What do you think? Lee don't leave. Listen, if it was what up to lee think If it was up to lee, you guys would be at a shitty movie right now You know what i'm saying? Watching the movie Dying inside like eating squirrels. Fuck eating squirrel tacos If it was up to lee I'm not gonna tell you what It's intense. You won't sleep tonight, but he didn't come down late to sleep. What do you think? He's you

He'll be up all three nights bopping and shoving. He don't give a fuck jack We'll save this fear for 420 We'll have the acid for you tomorrow. We'll meet here and do a pregame We'll do a pregame periscope. We'll give you a little ice cube to take with you to go nappy new new time We'll put pink floored music on You'll think you never left. Do you want to be outside or do you it doesn't make you want to be alone in the dark room? No That's all up to you only one way to find out

It's only one way to find out me. I would drop you off at the house Turn off the lights and put on pink floored and just sit there and watch your life flash in front of you Put on the wall and let it go then put on animals Then take it to dark side of the moon and wish you were here then by that time lee will be checking your pulse Call the rabbi and shit by the way speaking of rabbis Speaking of rabbis I was watching a fucking show about panama. I have a friend that's panamanian

And I was watching that show with don zenerman where he showed he they wanted me and all this shit And panama do me a favor. Mr. Sad. Just open that door a little bit Don't block the cameras. Don't block the cameras. Just open the door a little bit Jesus christ on a crutch What happened? No, my my girl butter's acting up a little bit. I'm gonna have to pee in a little while Good. You're gonna need to pee. I'm gonna go pee real quick. Go and do the tank I'll do the fucking shout outs real quick and shit here. You know, I love you mother fuckers with all my heart

Mickey go on the house Tyler Kaufman Don wrangler Dante gazini writing more letters than a blinkin brandy lin one by one podcast I don't know who the fuck this is west woods and my man lorenzo Toledo, what are you fucking nuts? Or what mica?

Garcia, how's that one for you bad motherfuckers? How was that? All right? It's good. I'm really now at this point right now You don't have a fight. How many days a week are you training? Five five. Yeah, and set more than once a day So what do you do? What's your typical monday monday? I uh a box At like two I'll do boxing a little kickboxing. I'll do that from like two to like four thirty Then I'll chill and I'll do I'll do jujitsu and the gi from six to seven thirty and I'll do no gi from seven thirty to like

ten Pretty much monday's it monday's a nice big day that's like that's like First is two and a half second sessions like Four so i'm doing like six and a half hours of training And what's uh What do you do tuesday? What's tuesday? I do straining conditioning and then I'll uh Like I'll go I'll go to the gym workout with my man

Billy D. Williams that beyond fitness and uh like lately I've been doing a lot of squats and deadlifts just like Eating everything deadlifts is tremendous. Yeah, just feeling strong getting getting strong stronger tuesdays is just strength and conditioning Yes, what's one and then wednesday? I'll uh, I'll do The gi jujitsu and then I spar So i'm then i'm doing uh like more stand-up, you know, and then thursday thursday I strain I strain the condition again, and then i'll do Uh a gi class again, and then friday i uh

I do boxing and kickboxing And then in sprinkled in there on my straining condition days. I'll also hit pads So i'm doing like a little do a strength and conditioning tuesday and thursday in camp. I'll add an extra day Um and do like a little more cardio lately I've been doing more lifting but on tuesdays and thursdays i'm gonna be working my man armor who is uh Always in jim miller's corner. Good moi tai paddling stuff, and I'll be you know hitting some myths with him So you you're pretty much if you had a fight how much weight would you have to cut right now right now? I'm big i'm like but 70 i make 70 really easy, which is why I felt comfortable, you know putting on a little bit of weight

And uh, i'm like 200 right now Yeah, but strong man feels strong. Well, that's what happens when you gain that weight It depends what type of muscle you build. Yeah, i've been i've been working real hard Like we went we went to london for the ufc And like when i was out there we had fun like you know drank almost every night and shit But before that i put in like a camp like doing two a days monday to friday Sometimes sparring up a miller's on sunday early in the morning like just getting working Like putting a lot of work in and then i took like a week off when i was in london and then i've been back at it again

training hardest heck Trying to train i was supposed to train with biz bing out here, but he uh, he's in thailand filming a movie This is tremendous that you guys a lot of people at home just think you guys show up. They don't know Fuck no how fucking hard it is year-round That's the thing why i compare it so much to uh To calmly in a way like i i totally agree because It's like you don't see all the work we put in you put in at like the comedy store this place

I'm in the gym two times a day. It's only the it's your guys specials and my fights So i got if i'm not if i don't if i'm not perfect and for 15 minutes the only 15 minutes that i get people get to see I'm like a piece of shit Ever you know i mean then you it doesn't matter doesn't matter how hard you work unless if you go if you can't bring it That one night that one date that they set you have to bring it that night or your garbage You're never going to be anything in this in that sport It's crazy because for years I thought i would just go up there and

You know give it Give it like 50 and whatever happened to happen. Yeah, that's why i don't like improvising on stage Okay, and for years my comedy got better after i started watching mma Really? I tell people i compare it to mma. Oh, you know i have already talked about that i've compared it to my gsp and yeah Well, just not like i compared like The shit people don't like to do like you see a guy come in and he has three knockouts But also some guy figures out let me take this guy in his back

And the guy is completely fucking helpless Yeah, and i've seen that now you have seen two or three times and i've gone to myself How can that guy Go into that high level of competition and not at least be a purple belt You gotta be go around like an eight nine a purple belt in each spot You gotta be able to drop hurt people with your hands and then kill people on the ground You know and that when i got into comedy i improvised for the first three years and i got nowhere Gotcha, it was cute. It wasn't like structured. No if it came not not not at all

I would have two jokes go up there and go mickey galls in the audience mickey gall Smack them bitches and you know in a way you would leave them going like joey Yeah, he kind of pissed me off tonight because I was and i picked up that habit in new york Okay, if you go to new york clubs during the week, they talk to a lot of audience people Yeah, and some people are great at it big j ogerson something monster monster at it You know i'm saying it's yeah, but when you go do a show And people pay 25 bucks to go see you sometimes it doesn't go over so it doesn't go over so well

And it doesn't You're like good That's why i started writing comedy because the same reason if you take me down on my back and i'm fucking helpless I can't even have guard you You know i can't even fucking i don't even know how to use my hips You know little things that's how i can i would watch fighters come up and go well You know mickey gall wait till i fight him. He's never seen a right hand like mine. Okay, so you had three knockouts But this is all you're counting on. Yeah, I want you to call somebody go dog. Listen

I'm fighting dears next time this motherfucker. He thinks he's a good wrestler I want you to teach me how to take him down. I'll do the rest And every day for five fucking weeks you meet this guy at eight in the morning And you take a dummy down or he teaches you But at least you learn something in this camp. Yeah, and even when you fight me you're gonna go You know what I made that me the master of taking joey dears down I'm gonna try it one time I'm gonna try it high so you can't guillotine me, you know little things

Yeah, I want to see a fighter revolve every fight hell. Yeah, I always I'll promise you every time you see me I'm gonna be a new So many new weapons like I've been working really hard my striking with uh, sean diggs I'm I'm I'm killing it right now. I'm sharp like I got I got a lot of new tricks I'm excited to fight again. So every time you're never gonna be able to read on me every time I'm gonna be a completely I'll whoop my ass who fought in the guy who fought in december. I'll whoop him The guy who fought c.m. Punk. I'll whoop him even worse. You know, it's funny how you have eight limbs with

A kickboxing. Yeah, eight striking points eight striking points. You have Jiu-jitsu, you know, you have all these weapons to choose from Yeah, and if you nobody says that you have to go and learn 16 new sweeps and jujitsu You just gotta practice one master one or two A thousand times and let the guy today. I got there. You know, I'm really good at the d-path Nice like I love the d-path I oh, you're always gonna pass my guard, but you're not gonna get your foot out of these gorilla thighs

I'm gonna hold on to ever and I will pinch my fucking knees till I see your fucking ankle turn purple But I want to pinching your ankles. Yeah, because I was going for the far leg Today, Alberto came up to me goes. I saw you known for the far leg. That's a super one He goes, let me teach you the way I do it and he taught me today and today I just said to myself You know what? I'm sick of being a pussy. I'm gonna try this way second guy sparred again His leg came up and I go for this one. I went for this one popped him up Grabbed onto it fucking rolled rolled over Took a deep breath and just fucking hit back. There you go. And I love it. I fucking loved it

I went up to him after class and he goes. I saw what you did He goes, it was half good because I call it I call it when I can't do something, right? It's a Puerto Rican way Yeah, like today. I couldn't do a bow and arrow. I can't my hand is too gorilla Yeah, so I instead I go for an arm bar Okay, why don't you do that? I go I could do it, but I gotta do a Puerto Rican bow and arrow I gotta just grab over here and do it this way my hands and my wrists are fucked up I try to work on my wrist, but I you know, it's the same thing. You want to try something new? Every time I go on stage, I gotta take a chance

If I write something tonight Next time I go on stage I'll have three things to say if I could use one of them I'm good. Same thing with whatever. You know what? I've been working on my knees. He's a wrestler I'm gonna try to bait him and make him go for a thing and I'm gonna pop my knee up Every little weapon you could add But for years, I didn't see fighters do that and sure enough It's like it's like comedians just do the same jokes the same jokes. I even know they work that shit

You know what I mean? Yeah, that's yeah. I'm a fighters that their their shit works at the gym with the with gym guys Who you know? Yeah, that that works for you there, but your shit has to work on a high level Or what are you doing? You have to develop your kill shit and it's gotta be get better and better and better and better It's weird because right now I shot a special in october and I probably got 10 new minutes I probably got about 20 of scattered shit That I really haven't really put focus on But anywhere I'll go

I'll come up with something new You got it's like the Beatles when you go see the Beatles. You don't want to hear that new shit No, you want to hear I want to hear hey, hey, hey So you have like two classics you mix in there you take one out you throw the new one in It's just been rough lately because I'm trying to write any fucking things at once But I can't wait for those five weeks. I'm just gonna do what I did last year Go out four nights a week to dumps with a tape recorder with my man Lee And you get one fucking gem of night. Yeah, just one gem of night. Yeah, you know, and even if you go

Yeah, there you go It's like me taking you through a smoker and I go just work the jab tonight. Yeah, it doesn't really matter what Nobody's here. Yeah, they nobody here. Just work that. Yeah, like a yeah accomplish something have to take something Yeah, I always do that People gonna do some same jokes because they don't want to look bad. I'm yeah That's on the way man That's like people who don't who will just play a very safe game Because they don't want to tap out in jiu-jitsu you got to take chances and find out in the gym

What's right and what's wrong if you or else you're gonna need you're gonna Sometimes you're gonna have to make that and like in a fight make that chaos for the sake of chaos and make an opening So you have to take chances in practice, too But you I'm sure you roll guys are just stay really safe They're too egotistical and they just don't want to let me tell you so my roll guys You know what I mean that pull on me When I clap your hand and you pull guard on me I let you pull on me and pull on me and pull on me my base

I'll let you pull on me for two hours. Yeah, and every two seconds. I just pull this little like that Oh, you are one of those. All right. Oh, yeah, yo, but as a white belt. Yeah No, I'm a blue belt, but I'm oh you're a blue. I'm 54 Why you say you suck so bad you can't suck that bad with a I can't move like a bird or crane blue belt So what I try to do is I try to bait this light, but the whole time I'm going for this one I'm gonna put this on my leg and I'm gonna drop my hand and pick your fucking ass up and pressure pack She's playing a nice heavy game. Yes. I like that. I like that too. I can't put the pressure What the fuck do you want me to do for years? I would try to do what we make you do and I'd be

And then I watch yeah, you gotta do for you for sure Gracie What's the guy what's the guys from north ridge bjj. He's the heavyweight Like the baddest motherfucker and and like 220 and more Go to north rich. You tell him no north ridge Gracie bar And then put put on verse Gracie watch I'll tell you his name North ridge Gracie bar, huh? And then we'll put the video on that I learned jiu-jitsu from because for years if I wasn't gonna be mcky gol I'm not going back to jiu-jitsu

But then I watched this animal against roger Gracie This guy don't do this guy mounts you and it's a slow death. So what am I searching for? No, just what's what's the guy? North ridge Gracie bar, right look at the instructor's name. Okay, gotcha Let's see here We're just going to their website. Sorry. Yeah, that's what we were hoping you were going for The website my friends, I didn't know if you were we in there videos on youtube. No, no, no, no What's the owner's name? I'm looking right now and he fought

Who's the hodger Gracie hodger Gracie? Yeah, and he's the kind of guy that it takes a borough Romulo Okay, yeah, when he fought see if you find romulo Watch against Gracie against roger Gracie. I'm asking you. It was a game. Okay, cool You got to see this. Yeah, first time I watched that. I said, what the fuck am I doing with my life? I'm going in there trying to be a fucking break dancer. Yeah, I'm 54 These pros they don't look and do much. No, it's just let the other guy make a mistake. Let him feed you something Yeah, so I let them pull on me. I'm pretty sure I hear

The whole time I got my hand on their belt and I'm sticking my fucking hand in So you can't breathe. Yeah, so you can't breathe. I don't want you to breathe. I can't breathe I won't be able to breathe and you come with me and once I cast that leg I need Slice a little bit and I switch real quick and I got him in a four point Was it on and I'll sit there. Yeah, and I'll sit there until my ass grows roots And again, I'll let you hop and puff and try to hip escape I'll go to fucking one o'clock. Yeah on my side control and I'll hold on to your hips That fucking hip in your neck. You're in no danger. Look at it. Did it did it? These guys then karate chop each other

This is a slow finger in the ass Speed it up my brother. How far Padra Gracie verse Romulo Romulo barrel Minute two minutes Yeah, right there. You just felt it right from there Yeah, that was an insane look at these guys. They're not flying through the fucking air. No No, it's high level shit No, yeah, those are the fantasy. I love people who love all the flying I can't and I she she if you want to bro if you go down to what's his name simple shit works

He's tremendous. That's one of my all-time favorites, but I can't do what he does. We were gonna go to crone's crone Gracie's ball here Uh, do you uh, what where's yours? Mine is right down the corner, but Cabrinha is on wosha Uh, cron is on culver city. Yeah, that's where that's right near where Bill lives I heard that's a great fucking place. Yeah, I love you know, he's got killers in there. I'm an old man Yeah, you got killers in there. I need to fucking get fucked up by blue belts and purple belts That's it. Everybody else fucks me up. But look at this. This isn't look how he grabs his fucking thing Everything's very fundamental

Yeah, they're not slight adjustments. Yeah, that burrows not killing himself on the bottom You know, this is the type of game. I love when I watch this I go. Oh, I get it now I'm not supposed to be Tarzan. No, I'm 50 fucking four. You got to wait for either mickey To make a move and then I'll make a little inch. Yeah And that's how you learned your job and but this this Also helps me with comedy You follow me this style

Give me a slow burn Yeah, this style of jujitsu is what works for a fat fuck like me Look at the guy in the bottom. He ain't even breathing heavy, you know, he does this every day for breakfast. Yeah Yeah, this is the shit I watch look at now. We got a little yeah, boom boom Yeah, this is beautiful shit. Yeah, I'm glad he turned me on to this This is the shit I watch when I get high at night and I come all over myself I wish I started this game at 20

Fuck I wish I could do something like this in the competition even as a blue ball I wish I could do I get you plan on competing ever. No He wants to do one. He's gonna do it. Yeah, you have to do one that you're right. They're fun I have my anxiety. We got some I we have some stuff prepared for you when you come back to jersey Yes, and jujitsu man. He's you're like, yo, give me some fat man jujitsu. Okay. We have it ready for you Five-minute jujitsu fat man jujitsu. That's what you called it. We'll do some we'll do some half guard shit There's some getting up from the bottom. I'm having a hard time. Tell me what you yeah I'm having a hard time pulling the guy into my guard

Especially into like making believe I'm going to pull him into my guard But then I shot my leg across Okay, and I got him a half guard and I start working deep half right from there I get the underhook high and I start working deep half And I try to go to is your yeah, that's all I got right there And I got a comorra from the top and a Cuban north south choke It's not the way you guys do it I have to put my hand under his neck and twist and keep my arm because I can't do the and I don't I'm not getting bad

I'm getting better with Jeff monkey one. Oh, we talk getting better with the ziki. Yeah, you know what I'm saying I'm getting better with that through butter. Yeah, you know, I don't have much to offer But look at these guys you see these guys flying through here He's like he goes sniff my ass if you want to Sniff that muffler if you want to That's that that's that Hickson style man at pressure Yeah, he does this for fucking 18 minutes guys I was gonna say do these matches have no time limit no 15 minutes. I think

But to do this for 15 minutes. I have 10 heart attacks. Yeah, I'm gonna take 10 baby aspirants I would love to go to Romulo Barral school, but I would ship my pants just walk through the door It's a big guy school. I heard it's a big guy school, but they're 240 shredded big, you know I'm saying those type of gorillas. I can't deal with that. They'll give me no fucking kill me Look at this the position as it's just so slight alterations Like I bet someone who doesn't do jiu-jitsu couldn't really notice the differences of what's happening I don't even know what the fuck's really going on. I'm just playing it by here, but I see how he's grabbing his collar He's trying to just stack

But he's just chilling on the bottom We're saying real relax Really amazing stuff. This is how I got into it. This is why I wanted to give it a try I would watch Eddie's tapes and then I would watch Marcelo Garcia and every time I met somebody I would go home and look him up on youtube after I'd see him on a fight Yeah, and I'd become a man. I go I can never do this shit. I never even wrestled in high school I'm not trying to uh Speak badly about this

But after seeing some of ebi, it's amazing to see the difference and to see how entertaining Even like there is a difference between this and what ebi is now. Yeah, it's a bit. It's a it's it's more of a chess game a little bit Rather than athletic An ebi moves. Oh, it's good That no g too. Yeah, no just a mission. So people are playing legs all the time. Yeah. No, no that shit moves too quick I don't even know what the fuck they're doing that going for their feet and shit. You know what? I don't like people going for my I just stand up comedy. Don't I got a fun guy talk

You didn't want to fucking go there. You know what I'm saying? I usually gotta drive for you grab this You grab that fun guy. So that's you're gonna pay, bitch. Yeah, that's like fucking Iranian spit That'll stick on you. You can't fucking get that off of the wardows There goes our Iranian fans. All right, you could turn this off before we get I got uh, I got I got a funny story. I was telling the other day to burt. He liked it So when I was in we were in denver like for the ufc fights in january with uh Seroni fought. So we fought masvidal. All right. The last night we were there. I got in a bar fight I haven't been in one since like college and it was like, you know, I don't I don't do like I'm not out there looking for

I was uh, so I go to this I go to this bar with dan henderson Uh pat berry and rosenham a junis and like dust and jacobi like a bunch of badasses And we were we were downstairs And I was drinking a little bit but and people just stand around and you're like, excuse me. Excuse me trying to walk So I guess I I was a little drunk. So I probably pushed through a little bit and I went to turn around To be like, oh my bad. I think two guys are squared up with me Two guys squared up like I turn around and they're both in like fighting stands like but I was like, oh, shit It's about to happen

so I hit the one guy And then I find out the next day the other guy must have cracked me in the head because I felt like the bump I didn't feel it or anything there So I dropped the one guy and then I'm next thing I know I'm on top of the other guy And he's kind of holding me in a guillotine and I'm like, yo, no one in the world Is gonna guillotine me especially not this motherfucker and his denver bar, right? So I'm waiting and I'm like about to burst out. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get this kid in a sec

I'm gonna start dropping elbows on him security grabs me like mickey mickey stop mickey stop So I was immediately like embarrassed like damn they knew who I they know who I am I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna see this on uh like on twitter or something tomorrow So then the security's like, yo, you gotta go you're on top of them. You gotta leave so Next morning I get a text So we end up going going back catching an uber Next morning I get a text from pat barry. He's like, yo, are you all right everything good? I was like, oh, he must have seen me, you know, like scuffling and got get out of there

He's like the guy who shot up the club was right in front of our van So I I didn't even know about this because we got out of there Maybe it was a blessing in disguise because after I got kicked out of the club someone shot that place up Oh Crazy and then and then we're actually when we're standing outside these these like four like These four kids come up and me and him are kind of just standing there. We're a little drunk. We're a little mad Where was this bar? Ah, I don't know isn't Denver

But then we're standing outside and his kids come up to us and they start looking at us and we're and they're like Yo, what with our dads? Have you heard our dads? We're gonna kill you We're just standing there like stand on the side like what like just standing there They said they're like start getting aggressive with us. So me and him we're like Start taking our jackets off. We're like, all right. Come here. I'm gonna smack you dad We start they didn't do it. They did they walked on But like we're just standing there. They started like talking shit to us bill He's all mush mouth. He's all drunk south jersey wild bills coming out. He started taking his jacket off like yeah

Fucking wild people. No, let me ask you this two people pick fights yet on not really I mean, I remember the last fight I got into in ruckers. I think I That I was I was standing in a bar and I started feeling a poke at like my lower back It was a crowded bar. I'm like I someone's you know, people are just swaying You know the bars move and then I feel really feel real push And so I turn around and there's this kid just standing there glaring at me like, you know, he's drunk as shit He's like, yo, I'm gonna fuck you up I was like what

Like what I don't I never met you. He's just standing behind me But I'm like, what'd you say? He's like, yo, I'm gonna fuck you up. I was like, he's like, I was like, all right You want to go outside? He's like, yeah And as I started step like to walk out he starts like square up and I drop an elbow right on him I elbowed this kid in his face so fucking hard He went down he was and then my friends who were bouncing the bar like mickey come outside come outside real quick So then no 10 minutes later 10 minutes later. They're taking this kid out with bloody mouth over over two people's shoulders

Now those were the last two fights I got I don't go out there looking for fights. I get my fights in in the gym I'm not trying to you know, I mean, you know, it should happen sometimes you got a no I can't like it's me or you it's gonna be you I could see you going like a wild crazy jersey bar And you know, as soon as yeah, I was rockers, you know, there's no crazy motherfuckers I got like you walks into a bar and it spreads like wildfire. Yeah, and there's always that one guy It's like fuck him. Yeah in front of his three little fucking stupid bitches, you know Fuck him. I was a purple belt in jujitsu

Oh, one of those guys that beat you in a contest early like when you were a blue belt He got an arm bar or some shit. Nah, smack him. There's always I was gonna say karate or something. They'll come over and try to I always thought that there's once a month at least you run into somebody who's come. Hey, man You're a UFC man. Let me tell you something. I eat UFC dudes for breakfast. You know, you know, I got a lot of heart If they let me in there, man, you know, it's like, oh, okay Yo, I hate watching with I hate watching fights with like for lack of a better word like civilians They'll be like, dude, why is he not just elbowing them if I was in there?

I fucking hit him with the elbow and then I punch him and then I you know My dad'll do that sometimes. I'm like, yo dad, come on. They're professional reason. Yeah, he's a chiropractor No, she's a chiropractic in your jersey. Yeah Damn greenbrook and he does all the fucking electrodes. Yeah, that's it. We get cracks me up keeps me Especially all the getting our necks pulled on in jujitsu keeps me. I went the other day. I went on tuesday. Yeah I go to this place back for Let's talk for something It's a great deal what they give me and

I stick with it. You know, I try to go for you. I go for pilates of an adjustment Yeah, sometimes I go for massage and an adjustment a massage are great I go during fight camp. I do that two times a week. You have to have a go every week. I'm not johnny lamo I do it twice a week. I spend 240 bucks of a week No, but yeah, but it helps me keeps me on the math. Let's me train hard as heck She told me that if I kept it my insurance, she would charge me the same if I wouldn't charge my insurance I said done And it's fucking cheap. I was like, fuck it

So I either take like I didn't go for three weeks You know, I was on the road and shit, which after you fly you should go see a chiropractor the next fucking day There's just you and open up your shit. I like I'm an acupuncture guy 11 years with the same acupuncture check Yeah, I've already talked about it before. I've never I've never had that before Yeah, you gotta add that and you got china town close to your house. That's a train ride A half a dube. Yeah, you go into china town. There's some crazy chinese guys. They'll give you some herbs and sugar Yeah, shoot you up with some needles. Yeah And you know what man the more you take care of yourself the better off you are later on

Yes, yeah, I truly believe that that How you look, you know when I was growing up if you over 50 you just didn't work out You just didn't work out. It was your bodies are setting. Yeah, and no now when we live in a different civilization where People are fucking out there. You know, look at this lady from the boston marathon You read that that in 19 whatever they would she was the first lady to run the boston marathon And they showed a picture her that the men ripping her number off her and pushing every shit That you know, they tried to yeah, the guy in the suit was trying to push her off the track She just ran the boston marathon 70 years old and came in 25 percentile

You know what that does for you like you have to sit there and go, you know what? I'm gonna try and I'll tell you it's gotta be hell on her body Dude, if you could if you could run 26.2 miles, that's what the boston marathon is. Yeah, that's what the marathon is 25th percentile is great, but just doing it in any percentile Is amazing. I can't imagine like just to run the 26 miles. You're absolutely right They have people in wheelchairs doing it. I couldn't fucking tricycle 26 You know I'm saying like reef it up and it's a fucking bicycle It's not like a track like did you ever have like like a like a track when in like football when you're running laps

They have like this thing called heartbreak hill. It sounds like a north bergen hill and and it's it's it's I can't imagine doing it. It's crazy like running up that fucking hill. I'd like to 11th mile Do any road work? I do especially especially in camp. I do uh, I do like a treadmill. I'll do Uh, a five-minute round but constantly increasing the speed so a booboo booboo booboo increases speed booboo booboo Increase the incline. So I'm finishing my round strong by the end I'm sprinting sprinting straight uphill the the treadmill jack to the end then I get off I'll rest a minute and I'll just stand outside Breathe catch my breath and then I set the treadmill back down to like a like five six

And then once I start every you know 15 30 seconds booboo booboo booboo harder So I'm conditioning myself to finish strong finish even faster than I start no rocky running on the streets A little bit. Yeah, no a little bit. You got potholes and shit man. Can't twist an ankle can't afford to come back Yeah, mickey. Where you going? We got a nice sausage and peppers. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I'll go down to greenbrook middle school run the track a little bit Yeah, you gotta be careful. I see I got it. Yeah smooth shit I've I've ran in grass because it's like nice soft. Yeah, I've busted my ass fall fall on my face Look like an idiot and you that's not yet as bad as if I were to like fuck up my ankle

You know, I think the most I ever ran when I got out of the halfway house. I got into running and swimming Yeah, we came like a master swimming program and she wouldn't encourage me to run So I got the sneakers. I got the whole fucking thing And I would run boulder creek, but it was concrete man I could feel it, you know, and I got precise. It's not good for you. Yeah, it's not good for your knees Yeah, and I was like that. It wasn't concrete stuff. Don't run on concrete. Who the fuck knows when you're 29 They could tell you don't run on the better nails. It's the first fucking thing you're gonna do is run on the better nails You know, you think you're invincible. Yeah, and I got that fascist Pilates

When you're fucking healed, they gotta That's the old one they gotta They gotta shoot a thing. I've caught his own into the bubble Oh, I turned no bueno the first time no fucking bueno I got the orthotics still I got these other orthotics and these new whatever what do you call them new b and b New balance new balance. Okay, which are fucking tremendous. I love your balance. That's working good for you My pops has got that he went to the chiropractor recently got a few things crap. Yeah. No, no, no tremendous And then you go to fucking the

Whatever store And they have a really great one they measure you you put your weight The guy was from new york in columbus, oh, he had a warrant in the Bronx So he moved to columbus. He was out of there. He was selling shoes on the cover with the alias He came to my company show that then he broke it down man. The wife didn't want me to come I got warrants in new york. I stabbed the dude. Holy shit. I changed my name. I'm over here selling sneakers like a fucking mook But he was a good dude. He was a good dude. He was a good dude Oh my goodness

So that's it. That's that so so mickey, um How does uh an up-and-coming fighter like you survive in between fights financially like was it how like sponsorships work? if you're if you're If you're lucky enough, you can make some money on Sponsorships, you know, some people you get like a monthly stipend or or you do different things to You know make appearances here or there like the other week I went to a bar Me and Jim Miller. We like did like meet and greets made some money um

You know, you get you get the chunkier chain of your Earnings is it fights if you so if you're not fighting you're not making money and even then I'm Blanking on the names right now Even the main card some of the fighters on on the last fox card got like Eight to show like eight thousand. That's low. Yeah, but that that yeah It just seemed like and then I don't I don't know I didn't I didn't do the research but some people had uh Uh to show and a win bonus and it looked like Demetrius just had like a show flat a flat

So do some people do that some people have certain things where that worked out Especially like more veteran guys it's like it'll be like a flat rate win or lose They're making like Demetrius. What do you make 500,000? I think it was a four or something. Okay. Yeah, it's something like that Yeah Yeah, it's a It's a tough racket man. You live with your parents. No, I'm not anymore. You got the other and there's yeah, and they're split now That's why I remember. No, that's all good. They've been split. It's all old news. Um Uh, yeah, I have the two baby sisters

Remember we talked about before the two the two year old four year old. They're 20 and 22 years younger than me. Yeah Yeah, yeah, they're awesome. Look, he's a monkey. No, you have your own family. Yeah We're gonna spot out in out in Lebanon. No, he's out in culver city out here We're we're figuring something out while building So what are you gonna do just a while bill? I well, I was home in Jersey doing a bunch of filming So I was at Gracie for a while. Okay. Yeah, my school. I went to Crohn's a couple times Uh, I used to go to find you get you got you got him back into it Like he was getting soft out here, man, and then you when you gave him. I don't know if you even remember

Yeah, and you you gave him the speech and he you know, he's like, yeah, I'm I'm I'm motivated right and now he's been back You gotta do something training with the killers, man. He's doing my practices some days. Yeah, you gotta do something right after mickey I'll be like, let's go fuck me up. Oh, that's the great when you go up to somebody and go fuck me up I love telling brown, but just fuck me up. Yeah do it quickly And sometimes you last, you know, you get a sleeve. It's good for you, man. You get that you're always learning Some brown belt yoked me today. Yeah, but I crawl under him I did some shit and then he got me with the choke. But at least I lasted till the bell rang So for me, you know what I lasted usually I had to tap out because I was tired

I protected myself. I kept that guard. That's what it is. Good You know, I I caught his arm Especially when you train with someone better more experienced than you don't give him shit Should be like, you know what I mean? Like like take take a little chance But then, you know, we'll don't everything you earn make them take it away. Take your time Like if you've got a good position, chill on it. Hold it. You know what I mean? No, once I pass the guard, I got to hold it for two minutes. Good. Take a breathe. Just Oh, yeah, take deep breaths on my tippy toes. I see in their stomach so they can't fucking breathe

I know all those dirty tricks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you take away their oxygen You know, 300 pounds on your stomach. Yeah is fucking rough. Yeah, I don't knee on belly people Okay, because I could hurt some because I learned knee on belly for me Yeah, you'd have to be easy and I've done it a couple times and I've heard people going So I'm like, no It's nice to know you could you could do that though. If you ever Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. If I pull your sleeve if I grab the collar and get that knee on belly and get that foot Sideways, I'll pop your fucking rib by mistake and you're my goomba. I don't want to do that to you. Yeah. Yeah

The last thing I saw I don't need belly. Nobody. Sometimes I'll tell you I go listen. I'm gonna transition to a neon belly I'm just gonna do it real fast. Let me just see how if I can do the movement to drill it You're like keep your toes on the ground. Yeah, and I'll do that. Jesus Joey that neon belly is the real deal You gotta do something with your fucking time, man. Now. I'm happy that everything's Tay-tay. You're waiting for a fight. There's gonna be a bunch of cards this summer. Yeah So you're gonna have some fun. That's not fun. Fuck. Yeah, I heard some people So after Dallas, what do they got after Dallas? You gotta have the memorial. That's what 2 11 Yeah, 2 11. No 5 uh 12

May 12. Yeah, no 2 11. That was the card. Okay. I believe or 2 12 I can't remember man. And then you have the end of may and then you're gonna have the 4th of july There's a may 13th. There's a card the big one in Dallas. Yes. That's the one. Yes, right Um, yeah, man, there's there's card. That's the UFC right now. There's not a lack of talent talent Cards like you you turn on and like there's one last weekend. There's the one the weekend before There's one this weekend

You know, there's a lot this weekend. The main event is arts and loba versus cups wants it. Okay. That's right. That's right There's some nice. Yeah, there's some there's some good fights on there some fun fights last week's was fun Week before you had dc rumble I went to Buffalo. I didn't stay for the fight. Really? Yeah, I just did the show and came back That wyman shit was crazy. You saw that I saw it Shit happens, you know, the the referee made a mistake. Yes um

And I love mergly out of too, but wyman says something in that corner that made that doctor They asked him a month. It was he said february, apparently, right? So yeah, if you say february You've been training for it. It's on your fucking count. You know, you know, it's when you fight Yeah, something something wasn't right. Yeah, you know I feel bad for wyman. You know, I do I feel bad for even massage. You don't want to win like that. No, I think wyman will come back stronger. Sure. Um, you know, things this this is Listen, it's not a It's longevity and comedy and this, you know, it's like

It's not a sprint to america. I always fucking say this I did not know till recently that the average Time are running back last and the nfl is three years You have three years That's the that's the fucking take a beating. That's a three-year beating that you could either you get hurt. You're done You pull a hamstring you fuck up a knee Then that's it. You know, it's really tough to come back in that for you. You know, like a good need fucking excellent acl Eight month a year recovery. You're not coming back though

By that time they got three new fucking rookies in your slot That are faster and meaner than you are just the way reality is, you know But with the u of c you got to figure out what the longevity is How long you want to do it? What you want to attain from it and how long do you want to do with it? You know, right now, dude I'm just obsessed like the little this little six bit of success I've had the past year It's made me like a lot a lot hungrier. It's made me, you know, just I can't get enough I can't get enough of the gym. I'm having fun. I see in my shit. Just get sharper and sharper

It's fun for me. I'm very passionate about that. Right. That's all I want to do is fight when fights beat people up. I mean You should be so excited about the future because You're 10 years away from your prime. Yeah, I know I know I know what you're gonna learn in 10 years and how much MMA is gonna evolve It's gonna blow everybody's everybody's wig off at this table, you know MMA is gonna evolve. You're gonna evolve. Yeah, I'm excited to see what happens, you know, we're flying sidekicks Coming to the game, dude. Yeah, there's always a new evolution You know, always a new evolution, you know, and people gonna be training differently and

Pretty soon people gonna be doing jiu-jitsu on the water with gas masks on. Yeah, because you know, you never fucking know, you know Every month somebody I love those. I love those I love those UFC countdowns and there's always one new strength and conditioning guy Yeah, and every episode that we turn to this guy now for his assistance. He's worked with former green Bay Packers And he's got your hammer in and jumping up and down backwards Then you go and then get knocked up You know what I'm saying? Like it's always I like the guys that are with the same people. Yeah, you gotta yeah

I like the guys that when they do get knocked out three times They don't go to a different camp. You can't go to a different camp. It's something you're doing. You're not listening to your corner You know, these are the things that are ego gets in the way like sure, you know, that's why I've never really given a fuck about ego There's always room for improvement people always going to criticize you. Yeah, you're not gonna They're always going to think they know better tell you what you did right not going to make everybody happy You're never going to please everybody. Yeah, you could fight 10 fights Knock everybody out in the first round and there's always going to be that rider That's going to throw a doubt in there. Well, he's never been pushed to the second realm

Bitch because I knock everybody out in the first round. Yeah, I love, you know, I told rogan a couple weeks ago I One of the main reasons I got into jiu-jitsu was because yeah, I studied karate as a kid and I went to competitions and shit But I wanted to know what you guys went through in a way Like I wanted to not so I knew what I was doing. You know how many fucking December 31 cards I've been to Bunch and that's the different audience That's the real those are the people that drink Starbucks. They go to December 31st

Okay, you can't right there because it's cute and it's yes That's why you can't have a brazilian on the main card Yeah, you got to have two white people on the main card for fucking the new year's card Because it's completely different they go to fights for different ways And I've told joe because joe's usually announcing them, but I'm in the audience That's the only card that they won't give us seats behind joe The seats are so expensive that they give us they want that money in the first whatever, which is still great seats I'm very fortunate to go and I'm not complaining, but we would sit behind couples

Like four people two of them both had fake tits The two husbands both had designer jeans designer haircuts designer shirts, but the one guy was a blue belt Oh, shit. Okay. How do you know? Because he would say it will you hear him talking it would be like he's the master Yeah, like he's the man right now. He's gonna get him in a comorra I got my training partner in a comorra one time and the girls would be oh my god He does jiu-jitsu. He's so excited And the one guy will be bill. You're such a badass

You know, it's so yeah, oh my god. You're such a badass You train with these guys. Well, not really those guys, but guys just like my instructor was in the olympics He was an all you know and you listen to these jerks off. I do ufc. Yeah, so I didn't want to you know Like I said this a thousand times nothing bothers me When a sports rider of any kind criticizes a professional athlete with like a knock If you are not hitting home runs, you're not hitting home runs But if you're hitting 56 home runs, there's that one sports rider that always go well He he's a terrible single hitter. Yeah, or he's number two in strikeouts, bitch

He's got 64 home runs to hit 64 home runs. You got to strike out a couple times You're going for deep fucking bombs, you know, I'm saying People always find that one fucking knock and it drives me crazy I see it on facebook all the time when a new special gets released Somebody always has a knock on somebody in there. I watched the amy schumer saying shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up. What the fuck do you know what we go through? Yeah, do you know what the fuck do you know? What happens to somebody like amy schumer when you have 22 offers in your head and you're trying to write a joke You know, it's a complete different game. That's what happens with champions, you know

Next thing you know, you're doing 22 fucking interviews a week. You're training. You got six chicks sucking your dick You're reading spaghetti instead of the quinoa. What's that shit? They make you quinoa quinoa You're eating spaghetti with meatballs. Yeah, instead of quinoa quinoa, whatever So and then you wonder why you got knocked out that way better. Yeah, then you wonder why you got knocked out Yeah, because your obligations go somewhere else now you gotta be focused It's tough for me to do a thousand things and really really really sit down And write what's in my heart and you can fake the funk. I like when these fighters Go back to doing this. Well, I'm going back to my old prank. You know, I got knocked out six times in a row

I'm gonna go through my first coach now, you know That right there shows you're in decisiveness to weak and I've seen it with comics. They lose a show. They fire everybody I write in my head. I go that guy's done Because he's not accepting the blame. He's blaming on the people around. Yeah, it's like an excuse There's only one motherfucking fighter that could blame the manager and that's ronda rousey's manager She's the only one that could really go. You know what you really fucking suck I think he's the only one that all the sports writers could really I listen to his audio from the last fight talking about emin the ronda rousey

I'm very embarrassed for him And he might be a nice guy, you know, I don't know what he's like in his real life But I felt really embarrassed for him after that. You ever hear that audio? Yeah. No No Do you ever hear it? No, no I heard it. It was something shocking Like can you find that lee on youtube or something? We'll see how you Spells our same ronda ronda rousey and oh, yeah, yeah, edwin

Fucking tar tar tar. There we go. It's a ronda rousey. It'll say it right on there Yeah, I feel like audit. Yeah, there you go Begging wasn't on rousey the mover head. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Okay. It's fucking terrible You know, this is a coach shouting instruction for the people listening during a fight during the fight against Amanda Nunes, right? Yeah Head movement head movement head movement head movement She's getting punched in the head right now. Hey, you hear the crowd head movement. Yes, move Head up, head up, heads up

Catch her Head movement good job job. She's getting punched in the head a thousand times. You can hear it in his voice. Yeah, please What percentage do coaches get No She's being murdered I was watching a car accident That's really fucking sad it probably felt like an eternity to him I know I've I've I've been to the hospital three times in the past year for my training part guys who I've been in the corner for

it's it's it's like it's like a Shocking thing to see I've seen a couple my buddies like get knocked out and that that shit's like that's my boys I built so in tears with these guys and then he watched their dreams get crushed and their body gets shut off It's wild man I was there for gsp John Fitch. Yeah, and I'll never forget standing there And then seeing John Fitch get taken into a fucking ambulance. I wanted to cry for him. You know, he fought Gsp like a fucking soldier

But even if he needed stitches and shit, I can't imagine you break my nose. I'm done fighting I'm done. I ain't fighting you anymore. Oh, you just woke Mickey up. You break Mickey's nose. You just woke me up Now you get my nose. That's it. I tap out. Listen. I can't breathe. My nose is crooked. It looks like call me his nose I'm done. I'm not doing this. These guys come out with a broken nose Fucked up eye sockets The taste of blood in your mouth if I gotta fight you that's my super super power is coming out now Oh my god What's the most the most painful between when like like a leg kick like one of those leg kicks like a punch to the face

An elbow like what's the most? Pain or does it all go until adrenaline? I mean, yeah in the fight. I haven't felt pain really But in practice, I mean So the worst stuff is like if you get like like like you get like a glove in the eye Getting poked in the eye and kicking the nuts. I mean the shit that's illegal. That stuff hurts um Leg kicks if you condition your leg, right? You should they shouldn't hurt too bad

I'll tell you what looks like it hurts. I needed a head from yo romero. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's it's gonna fucking hurt I don't ever want. I don't I don't need to ever know that a fucking liver kick from fucking My black dude. No all barboza. What's the big black guy to liver kick broccoli? Alice are over. Alice are overing like one of those liver kicks You don't ever want to feel that shit. You know, I remember getting in karate one time in the 20 man getting the air knocked out of me It was one of the worst feelings. I've ever fucking experienced in my life. I thought I was gonna die I was just a young kid. I've been there kicked me in the fucking stomach with everything he had He got disqualified and I won. Yeah

But jesus christ I started crying. I couldn't fucking breathe I'm not cut out for that shit getting hit in the head with bottles and shit That was never my bag. That's a different type of jersey breed. There's a certain jersey breed. That's the buddy of mine Vinnie Lynch got arrested. So I seen him in philadelphia get hit in the head with like a fucking johnny walker black bottle and he didn't even flinch He didn't even fucking flinch blood was pouring out of his head. He didn't even know That shit has always freaked me to fuck out. This guy's you could stab him and then

I had a friend in high school george mump from jersey city I saw him tonight. We were supposed to graduate like he never he was one of those kids that would only go to school during football season Jersey has those guys They just come to school during football season and do coming to play ball and once football season ends they drop out And then they come back the next year to do nothing to lift weights and drink beer Georgie mum was at dickinson high school And he transferred to north bergen And he wouldn't go to practice and one day the coaches went to his house

And he told the coaches listen. I don't know if you know this. I don't practice And they were like, what are you talking about come again? Like I don't practice Just put me in a fucking cage And let me out on saturdays. The coaches didn't know what to do But that's what he did. He coming on saturday and just kill people on the field Well, I'll tell you what the last time I saw george mum He got hit by a car in jersey city and he flew off a cliff

He's out with the stitches It is had he took the bandage off and he had a ghetto blaster And it was like nothing had happened He had gotten like 30 stitches on the side of his head And you thought nothing had happened in his life I I always tend to look for george mum on facebook. There's not a george mum alive There's people that are just fucking tough man that you could hit and add That was not my game. I don't know. I don't mind getting punched in the face. That's okay. That weighs you up a little bit

But once you loosen one of my teeth, you fuck up my nose That's a different territory or you submit me and it's a submission where your ass is in my face I'll fuck you up later I'm getting you back. I'll fuck you up later. My revenge is coming. It's coming. I'll tap. I'll give you a hug Like the karate hoddy like the karate hoddy got beat up the other day. She's giving hugs and shit That was a great fight. I don't trust the karate hoddy. That chick is at home doing chinese voodoo Right now those chinese people you fuck with them. They're making a comeback. That's why I don't even Vietnamese food We bombed them for 10 years. You think they're gonna fucking make you a good dinner

They're planning their revenge little by little. They put cancer salt in it They put a little cancer salt in it You don't think japan's doing the same with that sushi they give us radio We blew them fucking island up. Didn't we we fucked them up. You think they're just gonna forget about that shit There's japanese people with four eyes You think they're gonna fucking forget about fucking that happen. No No, everybody. Hey the bitch always comes back dog So that's why you gotta be careful, huh? Who's the bitch? That's the question the bitch

Always comes back Oh my god. Oh man. Listen. I'm gonna be excited When they give you a fucking fight here. You're over doing. I'm gonna break this whoever's next breaking up good Do you have a Anyone you want to call out? No, man, everybody everybody 70s 55s. Everyone can guess. Everybody's everybody gets them. I got enough for everyone Even demetrius johnson put him on check. Bring the last you'll drop to 126 How good is that fucking dude? Yeah, he's the best. He's a pound for pound. Yeah, he's he's the he does everything perfect

I like this coach. I really like this coach Matthew if I was a fighter, there'd be a couple people I trained with who If I was a fighter I gotta say for us I like for us like for us great mind for us has a great mind and he's a great strategist Did great work with gsp. Just phenomenal work with gsp Um, I respect the guys at AT&T my good buddy. Yeah, I'll be down there. Marco is my brother That's one of the best fucking wrestlers. That's my man. Yeah, you know, I love George Mazdeval I think that place had too much testosterone. I love Duke Rufus. I think Duke Rufus is a great coach

Yeah, I think his gym doesn't have enough Like he's you know, I'm saying it's more the paddice Like it's customized around paddice, you know, yeah, I think he's a great kickboxing coach You know, I love the guys in new mexico Yeah, I love all of them. Jackson Winklejohn. I would train to be honest. I would train in denver year round Yeah, and do you got dwayne bang bang up in that dwayne bang? You have that elevation team elevation. Yeah world-class jiu-jitsu Plus your cardio would be to a different level. Yeah and living close to boulder

You're probably going to be around the best people for your body that you could be around. What does that mean? Boulder, Colorado is a fucking healing Okay, it's a community and now it's very high-level and stuff But that essence people good energy. Yeah, you know that essence is still in boulder when I lived in boulder How did I find out about my feet? If you go to the harvest restaurant, which is a vegetarian restaurant, they had a sign that said, um Mondays a doctor comes in from six to nine and does free Feed exam if you feed her. That's all I found out. He gave me a new pair of sneakers. He

Coached me whatever after that. He goes, you know, I'll get you with a coach to teach how to run properly That boulder is made for that when people really want to excel in health and fitness A lot of those people go to boulder. They're really good. You know, it's a really interesting place I would live there. I would go down to the colorado olympic training facility. Yeah, okay, but I would always switch up my altitude Yeah, I would always felt it out there. Yeah, I would always switch up my altitude I would go to Denver and do bunkings for six weeks And really stretch your lungs out Really live up there really what's that called when your body?

Acclimate acclimate, you know, and you have to sleep a lot because you build more red blood cells You build more cells. So when you move to like, uh, let's say you went to aspen The first three weeks, you know, you're gonna be sucking wind. Oh, you're gonna be tired. Yeah You really don't want to work out. You're just gonna go for walks We had that we we were like we're like fucking around like climbing the steps of the hotel Yeah, you could I could usually go underwater from like there and back. I could barely get to one side of water It's crazy Are there fighters who will say like, no, I don't want to fight in an elevation maybe later

If I'm gonna fight in elevation for yeah, if I'm gonna fight in elevation I'm gonna need to go somewhere fight Like emerge myself so murder myself in that elevation, you know what I mean? Because it's gonna be a shock. Look at what fucking cane fought Frodoom Frodoom was down there for eight months before that drinking water Just Yeah, and and uh, kane didn't think about his team didn't want to go down there, but two weeks before Yeah, two weeks before he'll do it. I'm surprised very surprised george masdaval

Did it on six weeks or five weeks? He's a thug man. He really did. I love him. Yeah He did it on five weeks the acclimation process I remember being 19 And moving to aspen in the first two weeks. It was basically getting up to eat Watch tv for an hour and before you know it Your body has to build those cells To breathe but after two or three months, then you start running in it Like the first time I did a bonk hit and asked when I passed out

Passed out my friends. Well, I don't do that bonk. I'm like, what what are you fucking kidding me? I'm johnny bananas. Next thing you know, I woke up the bong was broken and I was sideways on the fire escape That's the eye. That's how big of it and then they have altitude sickness Where if I take you up in the mountain and keep you up there for a long time and give you booze And marijuana. Oh lord Are you gonna get you're gonna get fucked up and sick? Really, you're gonna get sick like that's why I don't like ski vacations Because you're going somewhere for three days that's fucking you up

Especially if you get up higher you need a day just to walk around Just to walk around sleep. You can't eat a full meal because you need every inch of your fucking lungs You don't want to eat a full meal. You you need every fucking inch of your lungs motherfucker Those babies working, but that's just me. What's working not uh, yeah your lungs. What's up, bleak? Well, uh, uh fight camp is hard enough as it is as it is to do like two days And then do it in a place where it feels like you're like breathing through a straw. It's rough. Whoo Yeah, I don't think I would take you directly and start two or days

No, I think I would take you for two weeks man. The word is acclimatized. You gotta and then another two weeks A little jog jujitsu real light with a gi. Yeah, you know, maybe something to it. Yeah Yeah, you got to ease into it drink a lot of fluids Maybe an iv from time to time drain some blood get some new blood cooking and shit You know take six ounces out of blood maybe 16 ounces get that blood rebuilding. That's good Listen, giving blood is great for you. I don't do it enough If I if I wasn't scared of needles, I would change my blood once a month like Keith Richards I would go to fucking that place and give him 16 ounces of blood

Every month by the end of the year you give them fucking 190 fucking ounces of blood. You're like Dracula. You got all new blood in you that your body made every year You'll live forever. It just makes sense That's my opinion. I'm not a fucking doc. I just smoke weed and have a good time like a doctor like a doctor Let's wrap this up. Don't forget you cocksuckers 420 Oxnard 11 alive 8 p.m. Show Friday night 7 4 30

9 45 Saturday night 7 o'clock 9 30 Get ahold of oxnard. Go to improv.com click on And get your fucking tickets and come up there Leo be up there tomorrow night with his dad We got the nurse coming we're shooting heroin from fucking Bulgaria And that's just the way it is. How you feeling Dixiah? Is the acid hitting you yet?

Have we done the uh just a little bit? We just gave you a little taste. No, I'm doing great very happy I was trying to start it before but I fucked it up. I read the wrong information. So I'm very sorry As you know blue aprons one of our sponsors blue apron is the number one Fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country. Lee's tried blue apron I've had blue apron Lee's dad's had it. We're all very happy with blue apron. All right They've established partnerships with 150 local farms fisheries And rancheries and ranches across the united states. All right, you know cooking together build strong family bonds

Research shows that blue apron families cook nearly three times more often Those who spend a lot at restaurants or at high-end grocery chain Can now spend under ten dollars a person For a delicious meal. Okay. Let me talk to you about the upcoming meals here You got fresh wonton noodles with cabbage and carrots. You got spicy tomato with uh, uh, uh, spicy tomato and olive pasta with ricotta cheese Who's better than you? You got Cajun chicken sandwiches with a rugula salad. You got paprika spice salmon You got shiitake and red cabbage fried rice with a sunny side up egg

Are you kidding me? Good or what you're eating like a doctor. There's what i'm trying to say to you, right? For less than ten dollars per person per meal Blue apron delivers seasonal recipes along with proportion ingredients to make A delicious home-cooked meal choose from a variety of new recipes each week like the ones i told you or let blue rapids Culinary team surprise you the recipes are not going to be repeated for another year So you're never never going to get bored you customize your recipes each week based on your preferences Blue apron has several delivery options So you can choose what fits your needs and there's no weekly

Commitment so you only get deliveries when you want them each meal comes with a step by step easy to follow recipe card Proportioned ingredients and they can be prepared in 40 minutes or less You understand me you go home you cook you take a shower Bam you're ready to go plus blue aprons freshness guarantee Promises that every ingredient is going to deliver fresh and ready to cook or they'll take care of you They got to make it right do me a favor check out this week's menu and get your first three meals for free You understand me with free shipping by going to blue apron dot com Slash joey you'll love how good it feels you'll love how it tastes and you'll love creating incredible meals

And in no time you'll be a chef you'll be impressing your friends So do me a favor go to blue apron dot com slash joey blue apron is a better way to cook I told you savages when I go to jiu-jitsu when I have short time. It's only me on these why Because of the micro mold all they're comfortable. There's no ball sweat Your ass don't sweat everything's fresh and you can't pay for that. You understand me that is peace of mind Elevate your underwear game to the next level with me on these You perfected your wardrobe, but what about the stuff nobody gets to see? Why are you wearing underwears with skid marks and little yellow stains in the front like a fucking savage come on

Yeah, I got something that'll change your life for the better Me on these what's the first thing you put on and the last thing you take off at night It's your underwear make your most important piece of clothing be the best it can be What me on these listen they're soft they feel good and they're delivered right to your goddamn door Me on these are designed in los angeles and made from source Micro mold all a fabric three times softened cotton So me on these softened and luxe undies come an ever-changing selection of classic colors Bold shades and adventurous patterns. I got camouflage. I got flower ones

I got red ones with black dots. My daughter always tells me daddy. Why are you wearing panties? I tell her they're not panties They're me on these your little savage and guess what you can save time and money each month with a monthly subscription But if you're not ready for that, that's okay. I'm gonna save you some bacala anyway That's because me on these is offering you 20 off your first pair Just use the special url me on these.com slash joey and get 20 off your first pair. So go ahead Mother's day is coming. You don't want to go eat over there with nasty underwears. You deserve it Go to me on these.com slash joey again me on these.com slash joey

I want to thank blue apron. I want to thank me on these. I want to thank honor.com I'm gonna thank my main man The one and only mickey fucking gall and wild bill and dick sciat For kicking in tonight. Thanks uncle joey. Thanks for having me always But most importantly, I want to thank you fucking savages for having a back and for being loyal You know, I love you cocksuckers with everything I got Don't forget levity live this weekend and next weekend. I'm a bakers feel. I'm gonna stop by matt bakers True jitsu motherfucking school and I'm gonna be at the temblor

Brewing company. I love you guys. Stay black. Have a great weekend. Don't forget uncle joey loves you Thank you guys again for being here. Whoa Oh Did just on the city bad school to search for his group Oh Because I'm running on the bad side and I got my back to the world Oh Oh

Oh Oh Tell me