Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #476 - Carlos Mencia

Episode Date: April 27, 2017

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt welcome comedian Carlos Mecia live in studio. Carlos called Joey out of the blue to ask for forgiveness, and Joey invited him to be a guest.  This podcast is brought to you by:  Seeso: Seeso is the new ad free streaming service. Bingeable comedy. Anytime. Anywhere. Use code JOEY to get 1 month for free. Naturebox.com - Go to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first box.  Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 04/26/2017.  

Couple weeks ago. I got a call. I was minding my own fucking business. I got a call and I called the number back and it was called those men's here and He said he wanted to Start calling the clubs again. We were bumping to each other and he said that he apologized For anything that ever happened between us or anything that he had ever done and I said listen, you know, I wasn't mad at you You know life is life and life moves on. He said he was having a son and he had been in therapy and whatnot and I thanked him for the call and I didn't know what to think. I thought about it for a few days and I Said to myself I asked myself many people gave me a fucking second chance, you know

So I thought about it and I called him one day and we spoke I heard he had showed up at one of the rooms I did a spot with some guys at Willie and Jeff Garcia and a bunch of other guys and He was very nice and very humble when I Spoke to him again. I told him I appreciate the call And we spoke and I asked him if he'd want to talk about what he went through on the podcast and all this stuff and I Gotta be honest with you. I did not want any Anger or anything like that. So I kept the podcast like

Hope you enjoy it What's happening you savages his podcast is brought to you by on it go to on it for their fine selection of supplements weights Steel bats if you need it, they got it alpha brain money back guaranteed guaranteed Go to on it.com right now and press in church. Bam get 10% off bitches number two when you laugh The world laughs with you. You understand me with CISO you get unlimited access to CISO original series next-day late-night hilarious stand-up specials and Binge-worthy classics including including 42 seasons of Saturday Night Live

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I'm gonna give you 50% off your first order take that motherfucking meal. Lee. Let's set this room on fucking fire Oh shit. Oh Shit, I could feel it black people jumping up and down. Oh shit Fuck the riots in 94. This is the real deal right here. Do Here we go Kick that mule Lee what am I on fucking death thing here kick that motherfucking meal bust those speakers I wanted to I want to see it light on fire like grandpa's fingers It's the church of what's happening now cocksuckers

April 26 Uncle Carlos Mencian Flying Jew the flying Joey Diaz Bringing it to you cocksuckers. What? Hit it Lee kick that mule hit it Lee. Let me see you wiggle cocksucker How many bongas you did to me three or four real for you did to cocksuck. No, I didn't I did at least three Oh, you didn't do the two in front of me and I thought yeah, you didn't do the coming at least three You already forgot

Shit Justin you thought it was safe. Here we go. Here we go Oh shit Manjalee, oh, I don't know what manjalee means but fuck it. It sounds like eat In Italian in Italian Manjalee Carlos Menci in the house tonight my main man Lisa at Recovering from a few fucking issues But he's back. He took care of everything and shit. He got a blood test. Everything's good. He's not pregnant. No, I'm not pregnant You're okay. You're okay, brother. I'm doing all right. Well good for you Carlos Menci in the house good to have

Not contagious anymore. It's a pleasure to see you brother. I was telling you when you walk in a minute I know you since 1994 August when we did the latin tour me you and jimmy a beta I Had seven five had six minutes You made the mistake of giving me a number and I called you every week for two fucking years I woke you up in every hotel city Good to have you on the show finally man. Good to see you like I hear from you good to get to know you're doing well these motherfuckers

Forgot who the fuck the power of Menci is I'm trying Carlos you would end the beginning. Yeah, I'm not forget that you even called Scott day for me Of course any of your reference it was you Doug Stanhope and some other animal Called Scott day like somebody at least expected called Scott day And it was great when he called me and they gave me a showcase in front of Mitzi and till this day That's what I hold most sacred is that she passed me isn't that a great moment did? Yes, I did like and I know now I mean nobody I mean we're talking if we're talking a fucking air right now

You know what I mean people don't get What that hierarchy is everybody thinks they're funny the internet has made it so that you know There's there's these youtubers and I ain't hating on them good for them. They got they got their fans. They sell tickets good for them But they didn't they didn't go through that that we did it's an indoctrination and initiation a place where we were like hey, man You're one of the three clubs and if you want to get into the comedy store the crazy place the edgy place the kennis in place the dice place The you got to go through Mitzi She's the gatekeeper. She's the one she's got to see you and she's got to like it and Man it was it was for me. Anyway, I feel the same way, bro

I couldn't believe and yet I was so naive and young and I didn't know shit about comedy that it wasn't as big at the time But you know to hear it going you're gonna be a non-paid regular. I was like, what the fuck? What is that? Was a non-paid regular? I don't know what that is. They're like you're in dude. You're in but you don't get paid But you're in and this was back in the day. I don't know if you remember When they put two non-paid regulars and it said MP and those two didn't get paid and then everybody else behind the got paid Whatever did you get become a regular 88? Oh, yeah, 88. I was still fucking it Uh, Cam George West correctional facility doing my own laundry You're doing time and then when I got out I got the somebody gave me that what you're gonna miss you. We'll miss you

Do that to you 97 February. Okay. This was my 20th the anniversary. That was nine years later than me, bro When I got into comedy you were already rocking and rolling Yeah, you were 93 92 you already were rocking and rolling. Yeah, I had already took 94 my first HBO special before that I had get locals and Let me see. There was another comedy compadres. So comedy compadres was just in LA on channel 5 I hosted one of 13 episodes of that then a couple years later. I hosted That was comedy compadres, then there was like get locals or and

So then I was on the television you Pablo. Oh god, it was really. Oh, yeah, it was it was all the young guys It was it was yeah, me Pablo Willie All the guys that had three minutes like none of us. I had no fucking business host in a show, bro There's no way I've been doing comedy for a year to three maybe I didn't have the kind of material You know what I mean? So so much of it was just the stupidest Cheesiest shit that I could you know, but there were 13 episodes. So you got to come up with 13 openings. So I

I remember that was a comedy compadres one and I did it. But yeah, I've never seen those shows again I would be ashamed to look at those shows right now I think I could get high maybe and watch them and laugh, but sober I don't think I can watch them bro It's funny because every time I talk to Jimmy and I go to Denver He goes if you want to come over the house Do you want to see the tape of you opening for Carlos and I go? I don't ever want to fucking see that thing right as long as I fucking live Jimmy still hasn't he plays it once a week

And he watches it. I can't fucking I don't ever want to watch any of that stuff When I see a movie that I made or something. Yeah, I switch it so fucking fast I've never seen a whole movie that I've been in you know I had I had to you have to when you go to you know when you go to the premiere Sometimes I would just go shake hands and get the fuck out of it. Would you yeah, I can't sit there I can't sit there, especially when I took my friends. That was a big mistake in New York Why what happened because you're with four your fucking friends that you grew up with yeah, and they yell and scream Oh

Every time you come on camera, they're like Yeah, right fucking what the fuck so now 94 I meet you and you had already the show on HBO. Yeah at that time I I had done the local slam local slam local slam and the first HBO special and then the next one came up the next And then who was a local slam Bob Logan the same guy It was the same guys except a little bit dirtier. You know what I mean a little bit edgier But that was the first time I I I put Juan Villarreal on TV So that was like so you knew one that one. Yeah, I knew one well

I met Juan right before I did that show and I saw this kid. I was performing at a black club it was a God, what was the name of the black club in Houston back in the day? Rump, I was Sean Williams Anyway, they were the first ones to book me The regular club wouldn't book me so they booked me I went down there and they had this kid opening for me named Juan and That dude just to this day man. Nobody makes me laugh like Juan does funniest

Rawest talent I've ever seen in my fucking life. He's the guy that I say watch him This dude is what we can't be he makes Anything funny. I love love watching it So I told the I told HBO you got to put this guy on and they fucking put him on Right after Crazy Licks Fonseca, which was fucked up. You don't do that You don't make somebody follow a guy with cerebral palsy Could you imagine there's a guy that comes out and he's like In my whole audience is going fucking apeshit right shit. They're going apeshit that time Fonseca was on fire

He was on fire. He was a good writer. Oh fuck. Yeah, I woke up and my dick was orange and we're like, oh dude What was his opening joke back then? I'm from Colorado Wasn't it I woke up and my dick was orange. No, I woke up. I am from Colorado and we like the parachute Or something to that. Oh Something that he was in a parachute Parachute action, that's right. He's like fuck parachutes and all this shit and you'd be howling, you know He was killing it though Killed in it dog. I met Fonseca in 91 and he had a dude that used to drive his van

Right and the guy was a biker comic. Yeah, his name was Toe Jam. I Remember that name, but I don't know it. Oh jam. Toe Jam was a biker dude Man, I'm going down the highway in my motorcycle And all of a sudden that he's an emcee and all of a sudden boom I see him in the van, right with Chris Fonseca I go see we know when you see that I was a doorman at wit's end, right? And I'm like how cool is that he's like man ain't that cool? I gotta wipe his ass Right there. That just stopped for me. I was like, I gotta wipe his ass I'm not wiping nobody's ass. Fuck it. Well, that's part of the gig though. I mean you had to do it

You know, you got to wipe him down when he takes his shit remember that I forgot all about that fucking story toe jam I Gotta do something about my memory That's disappears and it just shows up. It shows up. I hadn't thought of toe jam Fucking years and it just came out. I know dude. I I've it happens to me all the time But I mean dude, I've been doing it now for 29 years going on 30, bro next year In March, it'll be 30 years So dude, there's a lot of shit. I forgot a lot of shit back in the day

So many people that'll be like, hey man, remember and I'll see the face and I'm like you look older than I remember Yeah, exactly. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh shit. Yeah, it takes a while. Oh my god Dallas at the old improv. Yeah, I didn't thought though because there used to be an import There's an improv in Dallas, but there used to be one in Fort Worth. It's like the one in Fort Worth Oh my god, I remember it. It's it's yeah, it's crazy people that started doing comedy that opened the guest spots That just disappeared and went away It's it's dude. It's it's been a minute, bro It's been a minute. It really fucking has

Is it's caring you or what bro? Listen Carlos when you're a guy like me I didn't think I was even gonna make it to 15 not because I was hanging out with fucking the banditos I feel right just because of the lifestyle. Sure. I had gone through mentally younger sure so now I'm 54 Today at 10 o'clock. Do you know what I was doing Carlos? But in the morning? Yeah, what do you think I was doing today at 10 o'clock? Were you were were you reading to one of your kids? No, I was at my kids karate belt promotion. Oh nice daycare

And the whole time my wife afterwards she goes you had a weird look on your face the whole time. I go, let me explain some to you I was never in this world. I don't know about this shit My mom would drop me off at karate and come back an hour later, you know, like two hours later your mom had karate Yeah, my mom had karate don't fucking karate. Come on now. So it's just really weird that it's my wife says you're quiet at the house I go, I got a little girl that prays at the table Right. Do you know what the fuck do you think I feel when she looks at me? She goes daddy Let's say prayers, right? Who says fucking prayers, I got a four-year-old telling me to shut up

Because I gotta say you know my ten-year-old does the same thing. Yeah, he says he says prayers every time we day So we come every time we go to bed when we wake up, you know, we come from a different environment So for me, yeah, I'm freaking out every fucking day not to mention I'm 54 Is that scaring you to the through the big 50 dog as soon as you hit 50. Yeah, he gets real He should change because now you're in the real zone Right now you're in the zone where Aaron Moran dies at 56. Sure. You know what I'm saying? You're like motherfuckers died 50 like yeah friends of yours start when you friends of yours start dying

of non accidents Shit's getting real. Shit's getting real. You know what I mean when all of a sudden you're like, oh, yeah, man Remember him. You got cancer What so shit got real? Oh And then I had a baby right Like it just didn't get real at 50 where you're like, wow, I'm 50 right It's all downhill after this is when the warranty ends. Remember Remember christland. Remember christland three years 36,000. Oh, yeah, whatever you hit first back in the day

Back in the day, whatever you hit first three years at 36,000 50 is the day that they give you the paperwork and they sign the paperwork make a listen It's over every day from year on out is borrowed like you've already paid for the car the car is in yeah There's no warranty. It's it's really what what happened What happens when you when you start hitting 50 bro is you it's like it's like having an old car that you're gonna keep forever And you realize that okay, so they go the water pump man. It's no good So then you picks the water pump and you put a new one in Well, you don't realize that the hoses are used to the old pressure not the new pressure

So all of a sudden you come in boom a week later they go you got to fucking replace your hoses Now all of a sudden you got to place your head kind of that's where we are right now We're getting to that place where oh my knee hurts Well, you know what you're getting arthritis pretty soon. You're gonna have to get a new knee But just just hold on. We'll just keep it. Oh my elbow hurts. You got tennis elbow. That's not good. The tendon's right here It's not good, you know You little parts of you start breaking up and then you just realize like I got to start taking care of this shit That's the other thing I can't I can't you get serious, right? I can't be going. Oh, you guys want to play basketball

You get serious You're like I ain't drinking diet soda no more. I ain't doing dick like I ain't doing dick I went to get the weed license yesterday because I expired last week And the guy took my blood pressure and I was in shock. Yeah, it was tremendous at 3 30 in the afternoon Usually by 3 30 my blood pressure. Yeah, it's up. It was good. Oh, yeah. It was like 140 over 80 Which in my realm that's I walk around at 180 over fucking 180 You know, it's like sometimes I walk into the doctor. He's like, what the fuck have you been doing joey? I've been doing nothing. It's 8 30 in the morning and then he'll go give me 10 minutes and he'll come back

It's normal. Okay. I'm one of those guys but You know when I started doing this podcast the main thing about this podcast was Telling people Yeah, what really went down like what what went down with me, you know, and it's like You gotta remember I was a guy who used to get up and go to the diner and put breakfast on the arm Like I would come to your restaurant and call us. I'm gonna buy breakfast. I'll be here by 4 to pay for it You know, okay, joey I wouldn't have a dime on me, right?

After that breakfast that was my comfort for the day. Now you got to go work, bitch So now you gotta go walk around remember that time you went to buy drugs at that dude's house He said he had a day job. Let's go over there. See was at his house in the data You know, that was your mentality, right? And then I moved till I got in prison then I came out and I had a different mentality now I wasn't doing high level shit. I was doing under the rate of type crimes Even if I got in trouble, right? Nobody got their feelings hurt. You know what I'm saying? Like it didn't really affect the right the status quo. What does that mean? No one got their feelings hurt

Like what kind of crimes are not big crimes? It's it's uh, it's it's those it's it's crimes that Nobody is affected by you walking to kmart in 1994 you all got with an apple you walk in there You pick up a fucking four hundred dollar blanket You bring it up to customer service and go my mother got me this for christmas, but I have three of them And they go do you have a receipt not really? I got it for fucking christmas, right and she would go. Okay It's four hundred and fifty dollars. How do you want that a jack of cash? You know what? I'll take it in cash Unless they're giving you five twenty because there was tax

So you give me the tax back, right? You know, I was doing stupid shit like that Those are the moans, dude. Do you know what it's like to wake up in the morning? And take your kid that they care what your wife and giggle and talk to people like hi How are you knowing that I did time 20 years ago? You know what I'm saying? Like it's tough Bro me me in that world it I never went I never went to jail, but You know for a while there when I was younger I sold coke and Dude just coming from where I come from And the school that my kid goes to and all the celebrities and stars and people that drop their kids off

At the same time that I do Dad that shit's surreal dude That shit's crazy, bro. It's just dude. It's It's a whole different realm brother It's a whole different world And I'm not and I'm still not used to it and I never will be I just don't I don't feel like I could ever be a part of that and yet I am and then part of me has to go dude chill out relax

It's okay. You're okay. You're good. And then I kind of go. Okay. All right. All right. All right. I am good I'm good. This is cool. This is okay These people are just people like me and I'm just like them and you know Nobody's gonna discover that I'm a fraud and that I belong here And it's cool. It's it's tough though, man. It's not easy You still work every week like a savage every week, bro. Every weekend I can Yeah, but I mean I'm gonna look I kind of stayed away from The comedy store. I stayed away from Hollywood for for a while

And now it's like I'm getting back into it. So I'll probably end up on a show, you know Within the next year or so and then I won't tour as much, but I'll still work As hard. I just won't be gone as much. Do you want to be back on the show? Um, I didn't want to until now now. I feel like yeah, I do but It if I felt like times kind of Got away from me for a while. I just didn't have my pulse on where I needed it to be comedically And that's why I just kept trying to find it. I just kept trying to work at it and recently

In the past year. So I think I found it like I feel like Okay, America needs The kind of comedy that I do right now the usurbit the crazy the political stuff the The ethnic stuff I feel like that stuff right now is really important And I don't know how many people are doing it on tv But I know that it should be done. So I'm like, all right, I I could I could do a show about this stuff and work around it. So that's that's kind of what I'm working on right now Now, did you got a degree in engineering or you study?

Got a degree in electrical engineering Never used it never used it Never you would think about it. You know what fuck this shit. No, believe it or not, dude I use it to to write because comedy is what's wrong Right comedy is what's wrong. So we as comedians go look at this. This is broken. This ain't right This is the way it should be And so to me when you take out all the emotion Those are mathematic equations in my head when I write

I don't I don't initially create the joke that's the emotion of the joke I create the The president is the leader of america. He should be the smartest person in the world and he's not that's not right So then I can then put stuff in backwards and go This is why it's wrong and this is the way it should be and that to me is math It's not comedy the comedy part comes in Am I gonna do impression of him? I'm gonna do an impression of somebody else Is there a person in this joke is there not is it an excited joke? Am I angry am I then I put the emotion in it then it is is it like a wow

That guy or is it like what the fuck it's what energy comes into that bit Then it begins to become an entire piece, but the beginning bro the colors That's math bro to me. That's all math. It's nothing but math You know you've been here for about a half hour and I'm looking at you Like I said, I've known you for a long time. You know and I could see The change in you like how you slowed down I could see physically you're a dad now

Yeah, not only am I a dad bro, but I mean it's weird when you see someone they go gotta eat kids Right, but they look younger than you Now I could tell you have the dad stuff and uh It's just uh, it was good to see you. It was good to hear from you The whole thing, you know, uh, I hadn't run as easy on the show one day Oh nice, man And I'm the one the show wrapped at the end we were talking he said that you had tried to call him or called him or reached out and I was like, you know, no, that's the

I go, that's the best thing, you know, whatever he reached out. He said hello Whatever and then a month later you reached out to me. It took me like a week to wrap my head around the whole situation Because when you called You called offering something that a lot of people never offer in their life They never do and I wouldn't do it either until I got locked up cause right It took me getting locked up. Right finally go to people and go. Hey, bro. Can I talk to you for a second? That time I choked you right I feel you dude. I feel you fucked up. I feel you did fucked up

And if there's anything I could do in the future to help you out, right, you know, whatever there's a dude I poked in the eye one time Because he kept arguing with me, bro. I had a fucking car dealership He pissed me off so and I wasn't I was on probation dude I'm laughing because I know how you feel. I was on federal probation This guy kept fucking with me about a restaurant. I kept going bro. Right. I'm not going over. I'm going here And he got in my face and he was taller than me He was tall and I was on probation

And he crowded my space and I fucking stuck my finger with his fucking eyeball And guess what he showed him at my comedy show that then the comedy works Oh, nowhere and he before he could say to me like I'm sorry about that daggle dog first off I had no right touching you Right, no matter what the fuck you said to me right and then after the show we talked again and he goes I couldn't even Fattened my head about what you said like the day you contacted me Carlos. It blew me away. Oh, no, man it blew me away because

Even what's going on in the news everybody blames everybody else, right, you know And it drives me fucking crazy and there's times That I see somebody doing and I go, you know what and it wasn't till I Took responsibilities, you know, right and it was nice when you said you want me to have a child And I'm gonna start coming around and I just don't want no ill feelings and colors I never had ill feelings for you. I swear to god. Oh, that wasn't it. Not at all. It was about me though, dude No, I know I know Listen, man

I'm a different we all grow we all evolve I was a young kid who discovered a comedy When I started doing stand-up I didn't have any idols. I didn't I didn't know what stand-up was I just remember I would go to work Uh at farmers insurance And I would tell these guys about stuff that I saw on the news that pissed me off that I thought was absurd

I wasn't trying to be funny. They were the ones that said you should do stand-up. I didn't know what stand-up was I started doing stand-up at that time And I come from the projects, you know, it's funny when I hear people say him and you ever go back to the projects and I'm like What do you mean? They're like, you know back to your roots back to where you grew up back to those and I say don't look I don't know about anybody else But those people never supported me when I told them I was gonna do comedy all I heard was like you're fucking funny Whatever there was never like, you know until I started

Coming out on tv then they were like a bro. You're from here and all that shit But before that there was no support. It was like you're stupid. You're dumb. You're not gonna make it What's wrong with you? Why you stand and I remember the first time I went to the comedy store I I walked off stage and somebody tapped another comedian and he goes He was the latino comic quote-unquote at the comedy star at that time and he goes dude There's your replacement and I was like, whoa, what the fuck? What is this? and I remember just going, you know what I

I can't deal with all this stuff. I can't let this in my head. I need to I I can't give up Being an engineer To do comedy and not make it work Because this is my family depending on me I mean, I was the first one to really Come out and be able to get a good job as an engineer Do you have any I do my family had an intervention for me when I started dude stand up? I mean, they literally Sat around and told me that I was

Stupid and ruining my life and so When I started going to the comedy store and there was all this back and forth and all these comics beckering I said, you know what? I'm not gonna get into this. I didn't drink. I didn't smoke. I didn't hang out I went in there. I did what I did. I left but I needed I needed to feel like I remember walking off stage and going man. I killed

and the you know, the older comics who knew how to kill they'd look at me like What is what is up with this kid? but for me That was the best I'd ever done and I had to look at it that way. I couldn't sit around and go. Well, yeah I got to grow. I had to be That guy to deal with everything that came at me at the time and what ends up happening is, you know After a while for me After a minor macea

After all of it Going out on the road I had to look back and go. All right, man There are a lot of comics out there that don't like you A lot of comics you don't even know what don't like you What is that all about? And I had to go it's got to be something that I did that I said that I

It's got to be me. It can't be all of these guys and um That's when I kind of started going. Okay. How did I behave toward these people? How did I behave toward those people and I had to say to myself look dude? You you were dick. You were you were you were cocky as fuck arrogant to others and You went into the comedy store granted

I grew up where other comics when they made it they would come and bump us and run the light Harmony always ran the light And you know, I I felt like I earned it at that time and I wanted to do the same But I came at a time of transition and I didn't pay attention to those around me I didn't give a shit, you know, somebody would say oh, you're gonna bump me. I got shit to do or whatever I mean, I think most of the time I would say okay, but other than that I I think a lot of the guys felt intimidated and when they got a chance to shit on me they did and I

Listen, bro. Don't get me wrong. There were times where I Had a gun in my hand and I was gonna go to the comedy store and shoot some people I mean, it was we're dark, bro. There were dark moments like really dark suicidal homicidal thoughts, um It wasn't always pretty bro but I got to a place where I could say, you know what? I need to look at how I've treated people and

Talk to these guys and said it right because I don't want to step foot at the improv the comedy store whatever comedy club is and Feel that look that I felt for 10 or so years of like, oh fuck. There's that guy Um, and I just don't want that anymore. I don't know how everybody's gonna react that I talked to But I'm calling everybody that I feel like did something to or might have done something to To just say man I'm sorry that I treated you that way. You deserve more respect regardless of regardless of me having a tv show

And at the time steven is he's not having a tv show I didn't have to bump him and you know go on 30 minutes longer than I should have I did but I didn't have to and Now I look back at that and I go, okay That's what you had to do. That's how you felt at the time could move on stay in your place. So That's where I'm at now It's so weird how I saw the whole thing unfold

And it's so weird how When you called I mentioned Amy Schumer to you and I said, you know, I'm sitting here Amy Schumer released a special Amy Schumer released something a year ago And then she released something on tv They attacked her and then She released this last special And I did guys I'm in my own world sometimes. I got the baby

Sure, I shot this thing for animal planet. You're on the road. You know, yeah And on some one day I go to the commie store Right a month ago and I go into the back to have a back area outside I haven't been they have a bar and they have a back area outside I had a weight. I don't want to sit in there because I got anxiety when I sit in the kitchen Okay, you know, I look at the waiters. I said they're 20 years old. I'm fucking 50. What am I doing here? Right, am I doing my life? Sure. So I go outside. I'm sitting out there Carlos and all of a sudden These younger comics, which I they knew me. I didn't know them. I can't lie to you

They're talking about Amy Schumer. You know, she got a one rating and now They're accusing her of this and they're accusing her of that And I sat there and I didn't say two words because I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about So I speak when you don't know what to do, but I listened right And I knew that All their accusations were upon words Like what this guy said this and this guy said that and I didn't say a word I got on stage. I got my carbon on the way home I said to me. I said to myself

One thing about life is that Once you succeed in this game They come out from all over They come from all over. I got listen. I went to the store. You you This guy Doug Stanhope called and they told me you gotta wait six months. I got here January 29th I got a call February fucking 10th Telling me you got a showcase for Mitsuhiro. I go. I thought it was six months from now. We go. We had a fallout A fallout. I went there. I did three minutes. She told me can you do 10 come back next week

I like I like I like Cuban people. Oh, that was she said Then the next week she passed me February 19th on my birthday and when I walked out because you're a regular now I have an idea. We'll dress you up like Fidel Oh, Jesus go up on stage for the second. I'm like, okay. I'm gonna see So now I moved down here with a bunch of dudes from Seattle, right? I'm down here with Brodie Stevens and Josh Wolfe and fucking Brodie Brodie's dudes and they all come to the county store to see my debut 1130

And I'm ready to go up. I got my water bottle I'm excited to go up there and bomb for 16 people Sure, and I get a tap on the shoulder. There's my main man Eddie griffer. Yeah. He goes playing. Let me I'm gonna try this new bit I'll be up there for 15 minutes Dog it was fucking an hour from one hour later in the morning. Sure You know Did I come back the next day and kick them in the stomach? Guess what? I understood the rules

But the rules changed though the rules changed Well, the rules were bent and bent and bent and bent and bent Until they just broke right until they just fucking broke the rules kept listen I don't I don't I don't mind somebody coming in when I got there when I first got to the store You weren't really there But gary shanlin was still right then right andrew was still coming right and you know what andrew bumped Sure animalistic everybody. Listen. Here's the weird thing and and again Like this sounds

Like an excuse to a lot of the young comics. This is the way it used to be. I never ever ever Got on stage at the comedy store that I can ever remember on time any time after 9 30 and mensy would always pull me on late because she didn't want me on early So she would give me a 10 30 spot dude. It was always 12. It was always 12 It was always somebody coming in. It was always. Oh, Martin Lawrence is here. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah, my love. Oh shit You know, I mean it was it was it was it was just it was always somebody there was always somebody and

I never got mad because I didn't know the rules and I was a young punk. So I was like, oh, is this how this shit is? Okay, fucking I worked at the store So unlike most comics, I didn't give a shit. I'm working the door So does it matter if I go on a 10 or one o'clock? No, I don't care. It never bothered me But it did burn a little hole inside of me that I said, you know what when I get the chance I'm gonna do this shit too. And by the time I came around and you know, oh five oh six when I really started hitting These young comics were like, hey, you whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't do that

I I remember one comic who said If he goes on before me, I'm not gonna perform and I was like, I'll give a shit and don't fucking perform Because back in that time I thought dude, what do you I never thought of not performing I would never ever think dude if there were three people at the store and the manager was like, you got a spot You want to go on? Yeah, I want to go on. There's only three people. I don't care I'll be if I if I make them laugh. I know that stuff is good But it was just a different time, bro. And I just never adjusted I never adjusted to the different time and the different people remember dog

This is the funniest colosman see a story ever. I'm at the store I got a host at eight o'clock seven to ten I'm hosting. I used to usually host on monday's sunday on sunday. It's a sunday night And i'm hosting the seven to ten mitzi's coming in. They had me from ten to close But mitzi was coming in and she wanted me to host the The showcases because I moved them right along right

So I get there there's a bunch of cars in the main room. It's something about christmas Right, and you're in the main room and it's sanchez and And uh, freddy soto got a lot of rest of soul rest of soul man Just a bunch of young spanish guys, you know, I was hosting nobody asked me. I didn't say nothing give a fuck I go up there It's seven o'clock and i'm hosting and i'm walking back and forth right so then towards nine o'clock It's the ten minute spots. Yeah, so I would have ten minutes to walk to the bar Sure, and I remember going to the bar one time and seeing all the young spanish dudes huddled up

Yeah, like i'm now like yeah, i'm gonna go first and then i'm gonna go second right johnny sanchez is gonna go third right And you had just started the show And they all ran in they they're like he's only gonna do 15 minutes I'm bring them I'm going back and forth every 10 minutes. I'm going back and forth whoever was hosting a 10 didn't show up to like 10 30 I fucking get off the stage at 10 30. I go back there to see who's on stage You're still still me bro on stage. Oh my god. I'm done for the night I go get a package from the doorman right? I start drinking a few cocktails

I walk around I go to the bathroom. I do coke. I mingle I go back there about 11 o'clock. I'm still on you're still on stage And those poor little latino boys Was sitting there like like right with poster boys and shit for the wall They're just laying there cracked right cracked like they were cracked. Yeah, and I was like I could understand But here was the thing mitzi was there that night. I remember yes. Yes, and she told them don't give them the light She told the guys to not give me the light so after about 45 minutes and I

Looked and I realized they weren't giving me the light. I said fuck it. I'm just gonna keep going Oh my god, because but here's the thing And I realized this those dudes had Pete family in the audience They were dressing their best suits and shit bro. They shine their shoes They brought their grandmother from Mexico and they're fucking like sitting there dude It was I can't even imagine the pain those poor guys went through I can't even imagine But here's the thing could you make their family laugh? Well, I was killing it. But here's the point I at the time I didn't drink

I didn't smoke I didn't party I didn't hang out I did nothing bro. All I had Was the stage The stage was my love the stage was my mistress the stage was my lover That was it and I was always writing Creating, you know, because I had to do a new special. It was always about a new special And it just never stopped in my head, bro. And I just was so

You know what it was at a certain point, bro At a certain point I started hearing a lot of noise Coming in You know what I mean? And I remember there was a point where I went Fuck the noise and I was like one of those horses, bro with the with the blinders on them. All I could see dude Is this that was it? I couldn't see out there. I couldn't see Sides just forward. That's all I can see

And I wasn't bothered by going on long because I was like, you know how many times this has been done to me I just uh, it was one of those. You know what it's like. It's like a dad who abuses his kid And then you realize that he was abused as a kid and to a certain point you feel sorry for him But at a certain point go, dude, you got to stop being your kid You got to grow up. You got to stop being that father And that's the transition that I kind of had to make which was you know what? Just because it happened to you, it doesn't mean that it's okay to do it to these guys It's a different time. It doesn't matter what you think. It doesn't matter. I could sit there and do jokes about millennials

You got your shit handed to you. You don't want to deal with the adversity. We had to deal with the you deal with the two I came in at a time when hazing was no good anymore You know what I mean? I was one of the last fuckers to get hazed And it was like we were in that generation. So What do you do? I I kind of went the opposite and I realized now like like that story you're telling bro You know to those comics there if nothing else for that night I owe Johnny Johnny an apology for that man

You know, you you really might have been there with your mom. You really might have been there with somebody important You really might have told somebody hey This is fuck that you might have had somebody from cAA there or from apa or you know your first manager agent Because that was the main room and it's packed and I'm gonna do some time and I already had all of that And I went up there and you know, I was funny for way longer than I had to be I could have been from for 20 minutes And stepped off and then had the same effect and I didn't and those are the moments that I look back at and go

all right, I I can't take that back, but I I do all those guys an apology that was Not fucking cool and as funny as it can be. I was laughing. It's 20 years ago And listen, I gotta be honest with you I'm gonna be as honest. I can't with you. Sure man. God forbid tomorrow. Yeah, they put me on the hobo suck dick And I'm the host of silver hobo sucking dick sure when it becomes the biggest show on netflix Sure, and I start selling fucking theaters out. By the way, I want to I want to watch that show

I just get a bunch of hobo sucking dick is a great show. I've had in my mind for a few weeks now Because it's the opposite of the chicken the van that goes bangs random guys. I'm not even gonna invite and then that works onto this I'm sitting on my old gold mine. Don't even think about it. I already got enlisted at the rightest guild before the strike Fucking that's the name of the show. Just hobo sucking dick the driving the van disco style With a picture but Reynolds in there beautiful, baby, and you pull him up and go listen hobo. How much is the second though? Anyway uh It I laugh I could tell you look you in the face as a man and tell you eddie griffin

bump me 150 times he did the same to me, bro And I could look you both guys in the face and tell you if I see eddie griffin today I give him a big hug. Yeah, I didn't get mad about that at all. I understood it, right? I understood it and I understood it from day one Me in my mind, I can never walk into a place And bump I'm really happy that they took that out of the store Just to smoothen things out with everybody. Yeah, I just said, you know, I think the improv you can still walk in and go

I'm going up and doing three hours, and I'll let you you know me fucking names damon wanes Bump me a new talent night right at the improv I mean we we barely got an open mic at the improv when I moved here barely Wednesdays 10 o'clock Three three comics. I always got on the list and fucking nine weeks on the road damon wanes Bump me on fucking principle. So you learn the bump. I still remember I was a regular at the store I was a regular at the store since the day I came out of my mother's fucking pussy, right? Me too, by the way Okay, let's be honest. I was a regular at the store

And the way god wanted it was I was gonna go to the economy store because even when I was Eating dicks as a young cop like I was never a young comic But people go to me the mitsy sure But it is a you were a young comic you weren't a young man, but you were a young comic People go to me as mitsy sure senior yet, and I would go no i'm not ready So when I walked in there I got in in there and I got in on a good time and the whole fucking deal You know what? I'm too high. I forgot what I was gonna tell you

What was I talking about that we're talking about something when you were young about the comedy sir You're a young comic you're always born to be in the comedy store. Yeah, I was always born to be at the fucking comedy store And I learned a lot about comedy at the comedy store and I learned about a lot about life, you know me too When I was in prison, I didn't think about comedy But one day on the fucking at the library the fucking librarian gave me this book. He goes read this It's Lenny Bruce's book, right? This is when he told me you got to get on stage You're funny whatever he gave me and I read the book and I believed in something callers After I read that book. I go, you know what?

I may not be in the mafia, but I want to get into this comedy mafia. Right. I want to shoot heroin And I want to hang out with strippers at night in new york city. I mean, this is what I want to do You know, I feel you this is what I want to do. I'm okay with that You know what if we do her when we do her right if we do met we do met But as long as I get to eat that chick's pussy, right? That's what I thought comedy was and and But I also read those things and there was a lot of bond between those guys Yeah, so when I got into comedy, I really believed in that bond when I was in When I was in the open mic scene in seattle, we had that bond, you know

We'd do shows and split 70 of the door and then all of us would go eat cheeseburgers. Sure And then when you move to la You still think you have that bond and boom when they have a regular at the store Now I'm part of the motherfucking marines, right now. I'm part of the motherfucking marines But at the same time you got to look behind the curtain at the store Right, you got to look behind the curtain and you got to look and it's a fucking hard reality at the store Even if you get four spots a week and you look behind the curtain And you start to see how the business works. It's very hard to handle when you're not successful, right?

I can't imagine how fast it was coming at you. You got on stage in 88 and in 92 You already were on tv and la whether it was la 91 bro whether it was la or scandinavia 91 did in 91 I I won star search in spanish So I'd been doing comedy for like two years bro when I won star search in spanish on on univision So by the time 92 came around and we did comedy compadres Dude, that was already I had already done tv I'd been on it not you know and and I had to do the the shows in spanish

Because uh, it was for spanish television, but So dude, I I got in quick man and I started, you know doing stuff Really quickly so My tv q so to speak here was was big right away man. It was big right away you know, I I pretty much could do anything at the comedy store for for for a long time For a long time and then I just kind of realized like, you know I I guess I just pushed enough people's

Away that there just came a time where I showed up and I just it did not feel It didn't feel like home bro. It felt Dude, I felt like I was going to I felt like I was going to that fucking aunt's house Who hates to fuck out of you and your family and is going to talk shit about your dad and how your mom shouldn't was better than your Father and all that kind of stuff. That's what it felt like. I just it just felt It just felt horrible man and and I want and I and I went for a few months feeling that way thinking that it would change and

Well, it was just didn't and then I said but I don't know about seven Ten seven years ago. I slowly stopped going bro, and I haven't been in I don't know how long Hold that thought let me give some shout outs to middle He has there's no fucking misunderstandings I bought a shout out to my man. Cory Hannah clan stonewell Robert Santoya Cory keen

Brian fedorco Carl man dom deniro covered geist and umberto grand two How you like that mother fucker Who are these people bro? Just people who follow the fucking podcast. Oh, that's nice man. They say nice things They're having a bad day. Whatever. Don't forget. I'm at wise guys next weekend in utah And then 512. I'm in milwaukee at some fucking theater. I don't know where it is and then Detroit sold out

I don't know the magic cat the magic bag the magic castle No, it's not the magic fucking castle. There's comedy castle. I got a magician who's trying to kill me Isn't it the comedy castle? Is that it? No, no, no, it's the magic bag or the magic hat Oh, okay. It's just a small theater dude. You're gonna love you tolbro. Oh, I moved. Yeah. Yeah. I was the new one No, no not yet. Oh, so the new one is uh, Dude, I don't I don't know what street it's on but if you end up taking your gps You're gonna go through where all there's one street where all the homeless people live and then two blocks down Is this it's pretty nice inside it and the comedy the comedy club is inside like a mall

It's really good, but it's really nice now. It's really really nice. It's not the same old place where it used to be Maybe I should tape my special hobo suck dick. Well, I'm there. You know, that should have worked there That shouldn't work there. You know callers. It's weird. Well when I got to the comedy store like I was saying I felt like I was a marine of comedy Right, even though I sucked even though I got 11 55 spots Dude, I got 12 spots for years follow mooney and the whole fucking deal It's still I belong to something. Yeah, I belong to something that was cool. You know, that's all I felt and I remember I don't remember the day callers, but you went up there. You would go up there

And everybody's wrapped feathers were ruffle, right, you know, I mean it was And you knew it you felt it. Yeah, and by that point I could tell in your face that you were like, listen, you're gonna hate me Anyway, yeah, I could tell you bro. I've been there. I've been there. I've been there. So I understood that and I also I But I started at the store in 98 and it was I would live and die for the store need to okay and then By 2005 Was when I felt A ship changing. I felt something weird at the store

I remember getting surgery, you know, I'm spanish, bro. And I'm from a catholic country. I'm superstitious and voodoo And I'll never forget like 2005 Are you santero? Yeah. Oh, okay years, but I remember 2005. I got a ball taken out of my neck. Remember I had a fat ball I'll let you touch it Lee it would just swell up when I took the fat ball out They had to break my shoulder to take the ball out. I'll never forget that I looked the doctor said you want to look at the fucking ball and the first thing happened when I looked at it Carlos First thing I thought it was the commie store

Oh, shit, and I remember going home with that feeling and going It's time for me to Take a breather. Really? This is my logic if I started in michigan at the magic castle Right at the castle and Dearborn, whatever the fuck it is You're an emcee for two three years. Sure you become a feature for two three years And for a year you're kicking ass or they let you headline on new year's Right new year's day. Yeah, Thanksgiving day After a year if the club manager's a good guy, he's gonna come up to you and go listen call us

I love you to that. You can't get out of here. You could stay here. You got to get out of here But if you look at the watch and you really really want to be prepared and come out here and not suffer It should be like at the six or seven year mark. Yeah, and that's what I tell you That's where I was at the commie store Because you came when you were funny I was just starting to feel my way. I was doing probably six years now, but you were funny I wasn't ready at all. There was people who were headlining the first two years of comedy I didn't think so. I thought you were ready when you first showed up at the comedy store

I thought you were wrong. Remember when you have 30 minutes and then you move and you have 18 Once I left seattle I went from having 30 minutes to fucking 18 But it was so weird that after I saw that ball I said I got a watch the store. Yeah, that's it. I felt it was cancerous. It was and no, it wasn't cancerous It was not bad. No, no the comedy star. No, no, no not at all. I just felt in a way that That was it. I overstayed my welcome. Okay, that's how I felt. Okay, and I'll never forget that one night

We're just gonna Say different words here. Okay At the time the club manager came out to me. Uh-huh one night A friend of mine was on tour with some other people and he came outside to me. He goes, listen, I just want to give you a message That when I saw the whole hand unfold Carlos They came to me and they go when your friend comes back tell him there's no more 40 minute spots on friday And I literally go one. Why don't you guys tell him?

When he comes back when he fucking telling me for right and uh I told my friend he giggled it off and then About a month and a half maybe two months later. Mm-hmm. I get a call From the same manager at the company store. Mm-hmm. And he goes, I just want to throw something at you He goes down and I such and such was on stage And Carlos came in and bumped him

I don't think it's right What do you think and I go Is such and such on the tv show he goes no I go even mitzi's rule is He's not on the tv show Carlos the tv show Carlos bumps him right and he goes well, I disagree with you What they were trying to do was get a message sent from me sure And I rejected them at the gate, right? I rejected them. This is a true story Carlos but I knew

Now I knew shit was brewing right in all different directions Yeah, it was just not at once and all of a sudden Carlos and I was telling this to willy bus center Yeah, I was talking over there one day. I'm sitting there watching the super bow minding my own business And the super bow just starts Two three minutes in who's coming on tv? But Carlos been see it and I sit there Carlos and I swear to god for 10 seconds I was happy for you. Yeah for 50 seconds. I felt bad for you Right. I said this is the beginning of the end. They're right coming out. Sure. That's it. That's it

They're throwing darts at him right now. Well, the difference was this is that normally that happens, right? That happens But normally those people have friends. They have you know people that like them. They have you know a good dude. I became Beyond toxic. I mean there was a point in time in comedy where If you said I like Carlos at a comedy club 10 comedians would come around And fucking tell you that you you ain't shit. No, fuck you. You don't know that guy. It was it was It was beyond

Anything any any comics has ever has ever dealt with from that perspective but again I gotta look back and go Those people didn't like me Because I did something to him. I bumped him. I went along before him. I did both whatever the fuck it was Those guys were mad. They they felt anger and you can't tell somebody in life You can't be hurt. It's like when my son's 10 and he does or says something

I can't tell him your feelings aren't real I can't tell him. Yeah, because I I don't want to do what my dad did and say You know, you you don't have a good enough reason to cry my son's crying. He's crying. That means he's hurt So what do you heard about? You know, I can't I don't demean why they're why he is hurting So I just kind of had to say to myself dude It's you created this You know for all the reasons that I know I didn't hang out. I didn't drink I didn't party

I didn't commute. I didn't have a lot of friends in that respect. I did my time. I got the fuck out but I could sit there and go. Yeah, you know what what I got was undeserved It was it was a hate on a level that was just fucking it was like a machine It wasn't just random people not liking me It was random people not liking me and then coming together and then just a machine going after me and you know You would go on a podcast of anybody's podcast at the time and it was like, dude

You didn't open for that guy and if you did you better tell stories about him being a dick And it just it for a while. It was like, whoa Fuck I don't deserve this shit I've helped freddy sodo I I brought him on the road for three years when he wasn't a comedian and he was trying to be funny I helped him. I put him on a tv show called the three amigos. I put him on a tour called three amigos I helped you know Pablo francisco and when he was doing all the crazy stuff. I was the one saying hey come hang out with me, dude

Let's not you don't have to do that crazy shit And on and on and on Listen bro, a lot of time except sitting that chair Yeah three or four of them and a lot of And said that you always very generous and very good to bobby lee. Yeah, the steamer is easy That's one thing that They've always said and they had whatever whatever happened. You know what man, but that's my point and I

I had to deal with all that stuff and I had to go to therapy bro And you know what I mean? Deal with my issues deal with their issues and accept and I'm at the place today where I could say I can honestly say Barring a few few people That you know, I really treated shitty um I I don't believe that I deserved all that craziness that came my way

But that being said I forgive them man I forgive them because they were hurt and they were hurt and they got even and that was a way of getting even And that's what that's what happens bro. That's life when we get poked at We want to poke back and they poke back and they poked as hard as they can And they poked where it could hurt the most in my comedy career and the integrity of what I do and And you know it it had its effect and now I think it's time, you know for me to kind of just let everybody know like I said

For those who I need to apologize to I'm going to apologize and for those who I need to forgive They're already forgiven. It's I'm I'm moved on the two-way fucking street. Right, you know, it's funny calls because I apologized to the guy kidnapped Right on this podcast. I I haunted him for three years on social media not embarrassing way, but I haunted him down because I really wanted him to know Yeah, that it was a bad day Sure, you know, if I would have kept kidnapping people which I kidnapped like two people after that, but yeah, but nobody found out

At least you didn't burn him with a crack fight bro. I did two or three. I did two or three drug rips after that but my point being that people gonna open up this podcast tomorrow And they're gonna go joey. What the fuck you had call those on and I gotta be honest with you I I know you for 24 years and A lot of people forgive me in my life I was not really mad at you at all for no reason. It was just a part of life It was just a part of comedy at that point. Sure, but now that you made the call

I had to give you the respect that I wanted people to know how I felt that I I'm really happy that you made the call I'm really happy that you're gonna reach out to other people make calls and continue You have no beef with me. You know, I love you that I never did. I just know I just know that you were one of those guys that I bumped More than one time No, when you I did bro, you might not remember bro. Yeah, you might not give a shit about it But I remember that I I did I remember one time

when Uh, you were talking to dice backstage and you guys were going back and forth and I believe ellen or might have been there talking to you guys and you guys were all talking together And you had a spot and I went on for like an hour And when I got off when I walked off stage You you said something in Spanish on the way up jokingly, but I'll never forget it because It was it was funny and you didn't give a shit

But at the same time today, I look at it and go Fuck man That guy went on an hour And then said you said something like oh, yo, you finally gotta come and meelda. All right. Let me go show the Yeah, I think you said like oh, you got off coming meelda Well, let me show these guys a fucker Cuban could do and then you went on stage and you did your thing and you didn't give a shit, but I look back at moments like that and I go

You know I wasn't I wasn't working on a special bro. I was you know what i'm saying I wasn't working on shit. I was just going on long man when I left lukberg and I had I had like three friends, bro That when I would disappear for a month or six months when I come back they go Jesus christ, joey go go Bro, what did you do?

What did you do people come looking if you had to barry night? I got people calling the funeral parlor, you know And call us for a while. That's how it was like Every four conversations. It was something to do with callers. I know and I would go listen guys Either fucking do something or shut the fuck up already right shut the fuck out But bro, it was cool to hate me though. It was the thing to not like me, bro You remember those days. It was uh, and it was everywhere. It was everywhere Dude comedians that had been doing comedy for a year would be like, let me tell you the motherfucker I was like, who the fuck are you?

It was it did It was bad and here was the worst part bro Here's the worst part about it all Dude whenever anybody had a problem with me that I know about I would always confront him even back in those days I would walk up to eddie and go hey eddie. I heard you said this not man Hey mooney. I heard that this was said no. Oh, bro. I never said that. Oh, never never said that You know, I was the one that was always going

You know, hey, bro. What's going on? I got I almost got in a fight sometimes because of that one of them was with Lopez Because he was across I was eating at the gaucho grill Which used to be that argentinian restaurant right across the street from the last factory back in the day So I used to go there and then I saw on the marquee, you know Lopez So I went across the street and I'm like, hey, george, you know, we don't have to be enemies, bro I did your comedy. I respect you and he got he got upset and you know, nothing happened But you know, even that moment was me trying to

address An issue, you know, it was always me trying your relationship with him today You know what? Um Like we're good man. I haven't talked to him in a while, but you know, I with him The truth is is that he'd been doing comedy much longer than me And I never showed him the respect as a comic

You know what I mean? I was the backup quarterback pretending You know acting like I could take over this team basically you with the whole latino thing and um, you know, I just I just have given him the credit that he deserves for all the stuff and not ever since but even way before I'm not talking about even when he did the george lopez show before that him and paul I mean, you know, dude, they they were they were the godfathers of latino comedy, you know paul Paul put me on his tv show in spanish when he had the el show de por rodríguez on on univision I mean, he was dude. He was part of me ending up at hpo. He was an executive producer on local slam so

He was you know He was a guy that that that helped me out and and george was a guy that paved the way for a lot of us And you know when at the time blinders moving forward. I got talent. I got to do my stuff I I didn't I didn't really have the patience and time to properly Thank those guys the way they needed to be thanked And even though I did thank them it wasn't it wasn't the same the attitude wasn't to see you know what i'm saying There's a difference between i love you and i love you you think i'm gonna reach an atom today. Oh, yeah, of course man About paul I talked to yeah, of course

george, um, yeah, I put put word out to him. Yeah, I mean look dude. I Here's the beauty of me You could go online right now google my name And you can find article upon article people upon people that say bad things about me The one the one thing that I pride myself on bro to this day as god is my witness I don't say bad things about other comics. I I that was the one thing that I said to myself You know what I have not been a pure comic. I have not been a good christian. I've not been a good catholic I've not been all that kind of stuff

But this is one this is one thing I will not do I will not engage With all these people and say bad things about them because I know there's gonna be tomorrow I know it and I know that there's gonna be a day when I want to look them in the eye and say I never said anything bad about you. So I didn't and I haven't so I got no problems with nobody today bro. Anybody comes up to me They want to you know talking to me friends or whatever. I'm down man. I always have been

So today today That's where I'm at and and and I'm and I'm proud and and lucky That you know through through the moments when I Like I said, I had a nine millimeter in my hand and I thought maybe I'll just shoot myself or go to the comedy store and shoot some comics Those minutes those seconds that that happened in my head I'm glad that I didn't go online and say I wasn't on the radio the thousands of times that I've been baited and say, hey, what do you think about this comic? I I don't go there brother because

I did this on my own and and and and and And I'm glad that I got out of it and and and I'm in a good place and I have I have integrity and and that means something to me I put you on the show because I liked what you're doing and I respect what you're doing as a man, you know And I hope that you keep going. I hope that you reach out to everybody at least one time and say hey, man Of course, brother. If I ever did something I just I want to do business here the same way you did it to me that was that was It meant the world because a lot of people walk around confused and they don't know

Especially a Spanish do it to come to terms and call you up and say thank you and it meant the world to me Carlos so Anytime you want to come on bro. You're more than welcome anytime, brother. I'm happy you came on, you know and I wanted just to put you on it to let people know brother We're all about second chances, man. This is all about fucking second chances Carlos Life is too fucking long. We're talking about being 50. Yeah How you look at your 49 49 bro, you're gonna be 50 in that morning. I'll wake up and go here we go Yeah, this is it. So bro. I know exactly how you feel. So uh

Thank you. Thank you for fucking apologizing. Thank you for Take care of yourself and uh Thank you. Are you still in therapy? Oh, yeah. Yeah still once a week I'm up once every other week now, but still yeah fine tuning all the time, you know and uh You got to look with them, bro. The answer is always within The answers in it are rarely outside, bro. The answers are almost always

If not always inside of you the cures The diseases it's all inside of you, you know, like I could have been a different comic when I was younger befriended people and All that would have been different like you're talking about Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer gets accused and a lot of people still defend her Because she has friends because she has connections because she has people that go You know, man, that's not the kind of person that she is. You know what I mean? I I like that because that's what I cultivated. You know, I cultivated. It's what you said I'm on stage going you're gonna fucking hate me. Anyway. Oh, well

I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do then, you know, there was a time when I saw you You know what I mean, I knew exactly where you were coming from right because I've been there when I lived in jersey They hated me. Anyway, I might as well keep robbing you I might as well keep robbing you. Thank you again for coming on, brother. I love you. I appreciate it, brother Let's get the fuck out of here. At least I am Don't forget I'm gonna be a wise guys comedy at uh in salt lake city The fifth and sixth next friday and saturday then the week after I'm gonna be in milwaukee At a theater go to joeydeas.net and click on to milwaukee and they'll tell you all the details the ticket prices and all that

It's cheap. It's gonna be a great show. It's myself and matt fulton Listen, let me ask you people something You guys like comedy, obviously you listen to me You listen to bill burry like a lot of people and you go from uh place to place watching comedy Well, that doesn't have to happen anymore Because all the great comedy is on ciso ciso's are one Stop shopping. They have my special on there. Not only that you get unlimited access to ciso original series Next day late night hilarious stand-up specials and binge worthy classics

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That's nature box calm slash joey for 50 off your first order of the healthiest Best tasting snacks you ever have again nature box calm slash joey. I'm gonna thank my man lisa yet I want to thank nature box. I want to thank siso. I want to thank honor I want to thank you people for understanding what i'm coming from on this podcast It may not be what you wanted to hear tonight, but I got to tell you something You got to forgive at some point. Fuck it. Stay black. Have a great weekend. See you Monday night Don't forget wise guys salt lake city next week And then Detroit's all sold out on the 13th, but on the 12th

We got no walkie go to joeydeas.net for the tour information. I'm coming to your town. Stay black Oh Have I got a little story for you? What do you thought was your daddy? Not that While we were sitting at home alone at 13 Oh, you let him stay Sorry, I didn't see him

But I'm glad to talk Oh Walker Now I'm a cross to your man, too She said, I'm ready for you Why can't I remember anything good this very day? Except the love, the love, oh, you know where Now I can see, I just stay

I'm still alive, yeah Oh, I'm still alive, yeah Oh, I'm still alive, yeah Oh, I'm still alive, yeah Is there something wrong, she said Of course there is You're still alive, she said Oh, do I deserve to meet?

Is that the question? And if so, if so Who will serve? Who will serve? Oh, I'm still alive, yeah Oh, I'm still alive, yeah Oh, I'm still alive, yeah Oh, I'm still alive, yeah Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh