Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #486 - Celia Behar

Episode Date: May 31, 2017

Celia Behar, President of thelilmamas.com, who was recently featured on Yahoo speaking about her use of Marijuana to cure her postpartum depression, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  Five Four Club - Go To Fivefourclub.com and use Promo code JOEY for 50% of your first month's package plus a free pair of sunglasses.   Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order.   ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 05/30/2017.
  

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You can still save because me on these is offering you 20 percent off your first pair Just use our special url me on these comm slash joey and get 20 percent off your first pair hit it Lee Oh, shit May 31st you bad motherfuckers Iron Maiden to get this party started what? Uncle Joey Celia Bayhawk Lisa yeah, here we go

Are you fucking kidding me or what? Break out the fucking syringes. It's over meet me in Seattle. We're going deep tonight Oh red child here we go watch that monkey The Churchill was happening now welcome Welcome to podcastville you bad motherfuckers uncle Joey here. You're safe. You're warm Everything's beautiful Lisa I add to your giggling up a storm enough. I'm safe. You're always safe cocksuck uncle Joey's here

And while guest tonight is the beautiful Celia Bayhawk From little mommies.com Mama's little mama's mommy's whatever the fuck you know I'm saying depends what time of the day it is If it's at night, you ain't got me, but maybe two in the afternoon Who gives a fuck do you mind coffee breath? Anyway, what's happened? Good to have you on this show get close so we can hear you beautiful. Thank you for having me new york motherfucking It's not that bad. What's up? What do you really say? You know what I look like fucking?

Uh Like tiger woods headshot. Look at the eyes all fucked up. I feel like tiger woods headshot right now I don't know you you always say like you have these Different. I don't know anything about weed. So you have all these black hairs and red hairs You're I don't know what you're putting in in that bong But I it's it's craziness. You need to know who cares. I can give her the name. I can make them make believe I I have this I have carrot 28 I have you know her being gold. I can make any fucking name. He gave you the no name anyway. I give you the no name

Yeah, I don't I don't need to know the name I just like I feel like the other ones may be tested in the lab And these ones he's getting from someone who's like growing them in some secret solution or I mean I'm only hung out with you guys for a little bit, but I think you like you actually are the lab Yeah, pretty much I could tell we're the lab. I don't make him do nothing. I don't do I do everything He does and double. He knows that this day. Yeah, no, I'm not complaining. I'm just saying like I don't know how you do that. I don't know how your lungs have that capacity. It is impressive because When I moved to Colorado

When I was 19 and I started doing bong hits up there And that transition period you have that period where your lungs They have a word for it. Why George? Why you go up explode? No, no, no, what's what's that thing that George Marsdewal went to Denver acclimate your acclimate your lungs So it makes your lungs taking more oxygen So because I was growing up there and doing bong hits at that time up there My lungs always got a little bigger. Plus I've been smoking for 30 years. It's no fair I tell people all the time

I'm not a drinker not because I'm an alcohol like uh I'm in a program or a friend of john's or something. I just enjoyed marijuana better and the people I were like when we were 15 16 Let's say tonight tonight you called me and said joy. What are you doing time? I don't know. What are you gonna do? Celia? I don't know. My dad's going on tonight. My mom's working Invite leo. I'll invite my boyfriend and I'll get a girl to come over That's what six of us. All right, so What do you want to do Celia? You would go out? I'll tell you what I'll do. I got a 25 dollar bank

You usually get 27 joints. I'll give it to you guys for 20. Just chip and give me the money when you get here That means i'm coming to your house And we're gonna roll up every joint that bag Smoke them all when I was 16 And we would smoke them all we would listen to music out in my friend the villa shed And we would not go home till every joint was gone It was one after the other after and god forbid somebody didn't show up a weed and go put that away And we look at each other like oh fuck that means we're gonna have weed for tomorrow

Like if somebody showed up with a bag of weed then we'd go okay Now it was four of us. So we'd take the joint home And we you know instead of fucking sitting like I mean we would die hard We would sit there till every fucking joint was gone So I always want people understand that that I've been it's not fair. I've been smoking Before the big bang fucking theory. I'm an old man No, how long how old are you when you started smoking 14 14? Yeah, where'd you start smoking new york city? No in connecticut westport connecticut. What made you smoke at 14?

A boy of course Did you ever at the time of smoking did you dream that you were gonna smoke? No, definitely not. No, no, no agenda. Me neither. No, because my parents were you know, I got fed all the You know wore on drugs and dare and all that and that was a gateway You know no way. How'd you feel about alcohol at that time? Uh, and I didn't drink I didn't drink most of high school to be fair. I I was a Can't believe I'm gonna admit this but whatever Well, I was a student educator in my high school

Which meant that I like signed on and said that I was gonna help educate, you know younger classes by You know about drugs and alcohol and their effects and I took like a pledge that I wouldn't drink or do drugs I held to one of those not when you smoked at 14. How long till you went back to smoking at? Well, I started smoking pot at 14. I smoked all through high school and college. Really? Yeah I mean I always I definitely was like so while you were a student moderator. You were sneaking or yeah I still smoked pot when I was a student. Did you smoke with people? Yeah, keep it under a hat. No, I smoked man. I have friends that I would smoke when people go Look who I'm getting high with the student moderators. No

See thank god that because you know what at least one of them was also a student educator So we had like hit it from all the other ones like we're not really doing that So by this time what what years were this for high school? That was early 90s for me. So early 90s. They already had like high level. I graduated early 90s They already had high level drug programs. Oh, yeah Yeah, I mean that that rolled out in the 80s the the dare and all that there came out when I was but then of a The only contact I had with cops a lot of drugs were In the first grade in new york city

I barely knew english I signed my mom put me. I don't know where the fuck I went to kindergarten. I don't think she put me in kindergarten She just took me to the bar with her You know, it was the easiest way. She didn't trust no fucking kindergarten. She was an immigrant mom So, uh, my dad had died. I was all she had I doubt she put me in I don't remember. I remember everything And I can't I think I probably did I think I did go to Yes, I did. Why am I lying to you people the kindergarten at ps 166 and then I

What the fuck are we talking about? Oh So in the first grade they take you they take you over to the whatever precinct is You belong to and I don't remember the name. I could give it a phony number Some people like it pissed off at me And they took you in there in those days. They let you shoot a 22 They fingerprinted you what? They fingerprinted you in kindergarten and they're sitting in the first grade In the first grade they let you shoot a 22 and then they gave you the bullet to take home

They gave you the target different times different. Yeah. Yeah What? Like I can't even imagine my mom if my mom found out I shot a gun at six They gave me the target. They gave me a little gun. They gave you a badge they gave you You had a signed paper. I don't think I was even allowed to light my fucking menorah by myself That was in first grade. You signed something and you were like a junior cop Holy crap. Like people were gonna obey precinct orders and shit and I bought into it

For a few weeks. I was seen I got cop walking the beat and I was I don't know if you should notice But I'm a junior detective and I'm on the beat too. You know what I'm saying? He would look at me like get the fuck out of here Like you fucking retarded get the fuck out of here junior detective But they also showed you drugs They showed you marijuana They showed you

I don't remember what else like you know at that time my glue Or pcp or something like that and I went home and I told my mom And I could see my mom I had to look on her face and like two days later my mom was come here Come in the kitchen And she had the baby said away that she goes come on come on kids and sit down And she's just started taking weed out. She goes. This is marijuana She goes, you know what this is this is alcohol And you know what it does to you because you stole a bottle of wine and got fucked up

And that's why you don't drink no more, but you know what it is now. So this is marijuana. She showed me cocaine And I didn't know what the fuck it was even I was lying she goes if anybody ever tries to give you this on the street Tell them to go fuck themselves and stuff and that was it That was it. We never discreetly discussed it as I was older. I knew the drug lingo But I would make believe like I didn't know what she was talking about But I always knew and then when I would go to my cousin's homes and shit like that They parents were involved with it, but the kids didn't know Like all drugs or just weed

My mom was involved in book making She had the bar the bar was to cover The restaurant was to cover She was partners in the dry cleaner at the Bronx. That was another cover But the main thing was the gambling The secondary I was at a bar so people did drugs at the bar. I saw people were white Rings and I would sit there and scratch my head the long finger. Then I fingered no, there was no this is the sad This is the early 70s these people didn't want nobody to know in those days

It was aluminum foil and a match book And then even grind it up They would take the fingers and take the coke rocks and put them in their nose and I would wake up in the mornings And in those days, that's when the all-nighters would start So I would get up in the morning and it didn't smell like eggs It would smell like fucking a pig and black beans and rice and yucca And I would run the kitchen. There'd be 16 people in my house with scuba music on

Everybody's dancing and there's a fucking thing and nobody's eating Nobody's eating and they're all sneaking into the kitchen and I would hear And I fucking knew you know I'm saying like I was saying and then my mom would go look what I made for you No, my mom would do a couple bumps and get confused too. I'm hungry. Anybody want to eat? Oh, yeah We all want to eat two hours later when the meal is done nobody could eat because they're all fucking jazzed up So I I I put it together at a young age Did I like it? Yeah, not at all they deter me from it

For a long fucking time because why because you didn't like how they acted I didn't like the whole fucking thing. I didn't like the whole thing now in the 70s Gotta remember if you were a product of the 70s If you watch television on nine out of 10 shows Let's pretend I was five or six and I watched the courtship of eddie's father I watched Room 222 I watched uh, I don't know when the waltons came. I think the waltons came on a couple years later

But any of those tv shows any percent of those tv shows always involved alcohol if you I'll put on Shows right now on youtube that I've watched recently And there's a show called uh all in the family. It's a family show. It's a bastion cabin sissy and buffy in the pilot He fucking walks in Takes a bottle with no label on it Whatever substance it's brown right so it could be white Rye whiskey bourbon scotch. It could be a bunch of different things right rum

And they would pour a glass and if you came over I go Celia, how are you and I would never even in the 70s It wasn't even thought of of me to go Celia No, I would pour and give it to you right and you would go Okay, and you drink it in the 70s because duis weren't very prevalent then They weren't duis didn't get prevalently until about 1980. Well, they were I just don't think anyone got right Nobody fucking got their shit. Yeah Well, that was kind of mad that listen 60% of duis When I was growing up, I would hear it people go. I was fucked up last night like I pulled over what happened

The cop got in my car and I got in the cop car And the other cop drove my car and they dropped me off in front of my house like shit like that No way. There was shit like that It was all they would follow. Yeah, they would follow you home driving as 80 81 was when it started I saw that accident when I was a child at 81 I was in an acid new years and I saw a car breaking half went to a fucking pole And the people yelling I remember the girl yelling the guy was dead Dead his disco the chick was yelling and I went home when I go well, I learned the lesson

I'll never fucking drinking right and I remember friends over the years. I had a friend that went home Got one in the middle of the night Got in his car. He was on quailutes. He went into the city got a Got a fucking blowjob from a hooker while he was getting his dicks up. They got a gun to his head They took his mother was a scam They took his money He was pissed off because he was almost ready to come. I mean when he told me the story the next day I had and I went 19 and he tells me the story. He goes

I was ready to fucking nut him out and this fucking yam puts a gun to my head and fucking Dreads to take my money. They were in on it together. She was giggling He goes, I just wanted to come He goes, I was going back home to get my ATM card to get more money But he goes as I was hitting boulevard ease. He had three cars like I've had a couple friends In the early 80s. In fact, one of the kids a bad night right there. Oh my god. One of the kids that listens to the show Uh

His brother when we were going in high school He had a reputation of never talking like if if when he picked you up at night Saley getting the cock cock sucker. What's going on? How you doing celia? You want to do a package tonight? You're like, no, I just want to fuck that Lee what are you doing? He'd start busting your balls and the whole way up. He'd be torturing you, you know, celia We're getting fucked up tonight. I got this shit that killed whatever and then they get up to corkies bar They get a package this guy would do two bumps and he wouldn't say a word the rest And people go, what the fuck you wouldn't shut the fuck up on the but this was after about two or three years of doing blowing

The early 80s he stopped shutting up like by the mid 80s. He wouldn't say a fucking word anymore And one night like an 84 maybe 83. He got a d. You want he didn't get a d or he crashed the car And they brought him in and called his dad And to just to say your son's here. He crashed the car Come pick him up. He's been drinking like that's what it was like My friend's dad goes down there with the kid timmy who listens to the show mob We had and they asked and my friend's a heavy duty guy's dad and he goes, where's my son? He's right there. He was officer

How was his behavior tonight? And he said the cop looked them straight in the face and he goes your son didn't make a peep So timmy the old man didn't know that he was high But timmy knew he was high because he didn't make a fucking peep and make a peep So it's well for him. But that's how it was for people listening to the show who were young. That's how it was If you were cool, if you want to listen if you got drunk and went into a fucking tree in those days Okay And they would come and there was an alcohol in your car

They would tow your car. They would you know, they wouldn't there was no consequence But I think that there was a there was a something happened in one of the states It was mad. It was it was mothers against drunk driving girl died That's what it was because moms can change shit and a few moms got together and they became a huge movement Yeah Her daughter died and the person that started at her daughter died in a car accident I will never forget seeing like the lifetime movie of this and being like, I will never drink and drive Um, and yeah, she died and and it was a hit and run drunk driving accident

and that mom tracked down who it was and then Basically lobbied and got all these moms together and created mad is what it's called mothers against drunk driving still exists And no, no, no, I never came like this huge movement this huge coalition They they got that law on the books for driver drunk driving. It's crazy because when I go to the store at night Two nights a week. I go to the commie store and I go take laurel canyon And I gotta be honest with you. I On the way home. I drive so defenseless so, you know On law canyon defensive defensive, you're right defensive

It's fucking crazy especially coming up the hill I am alert as Fuck watching those cars. Oh, yeah. I don't play games. I don't like driving that in the night. No, and I'm stupid I get home and I go, that's the last time i'm driving law canyon in the week later I make the left right there instead of driving a deep down and going into hollywood by the 101 cafe there or something No, I fucking shoot up laurel canyon and i'm always thinking One of these nights some drunk guys when I come from the valley get a fucking heroin

He's gonna be coming down this fucking hell. He's gonna lose control. I'm gonna be coming up like an asshole listening to house He's bone. Yeah I'm gonna get hit fucking head on real specific. Yeah, it's that's how it happens You know people get ice like that don't get ice because They're speed racing. They're they're at a light They're they're driving minding their business having a conversation or something you look up and there's a car coming at you You know there's a fucking car coming at you, you know, what what do you do? You have to be prepared for that night. You're not drinking You know people come up to me at the comedy store at night. They come up to me. Hey, you want to get high?

I don't gotta tell you something. I've already smoked all fucking day By the time eight o'clock comes. Yeah, by the time the clock comes There ain't nothing left that could smoke 80 to like i'm all right already Look at me. I'm fine. I'm tip top. I'm good. I'm fine. You saw me chocolate. You saw me start It lasts for 20 to 30 minutes So I went at night tip top, you know In california, I feel like I have a privilege. I have this thing in my car, which means shit I have a card in my wallet, which means shit

If the cops pull me off like if I get pulled over with two pounds of weight in my trunk This legality card that everybody in the country is like, oh, I could love to get one of those Does shit well to be fair it doesn't it doesn't legalize you having two pounds of weight Well, what if the cop wants to take me in he's gonna take me in because i'm being an asshole So I have a privilege the same privilege you have the same privilege we has When we're in here you want to do 20 bank in celia. I don't give a fuck things get fucked up Things get fucked up celia. I'll put you in an uber And we're all happy

You don't want for us to get in the car right now to go to hollywood and spark two joints in the car As much as I smoke pot and as much as i'm a felonious motherfucker Go in my car. There's never weed in my car. I have I have joints in there to give away to people Yeah, like the door guys at the store If the weed store gives me like good perennial joints, I give those to the fucking lock guys They jump up and down for that weed sure that's awesome So but I I don't have weed in my car to smoke I'm never sparking my car and in the back of my mind

They give you a fucking privilege celia. I agree. Why aren't we taking advantage of are you walking up and down the street? Like chichin chong with smoke coming out of your fucking car like Who gives a fuck, you know, I would smoke the vapors on the plane Let's face it. How high were those vapors really getting me? Not really that high So why am I gonna have a felony to prove what that i'm joke cool I don't I have a vapor pen In the sleep apnea machine when I travel But it's just in case I get stuck on an airport for six hours or more. But let me tell you something

I get juiced up. Oh You just eat the addables. I'm going along island june 23rd and 24th And it's my favorite flight in the world. This is the flight of death I started writing music down today so I can put it on my iPod Is this the jet blue one that you like in the pod that thing? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Because I heard you talk about that. I got a fucking One-way shooting out. I had an old plane ticket. I had to use my july 26 bingo virgin I took the fucking the thing

Let me tell you what I saw today li you're not gonna believe what I saw and you're gonna say joey You're lying to me But just to educate the people at home When you fly because I tell you all the time li when I tell you virgin When I tell you a book of flight on virgin, right do I tell you get first class? No, sir What do I tell you to get you tell me to get the uh, well, it's not it's not Cabin it's main cabin main cabin select. Okay I fucking came up with a flight today people just so you know for people who don't travel

Kiss yourself go I don't travel because it's it they fuck you in the ass three times. Okay They fuck you and I saw something today that the jew and me Almost made me call li and go li look at these motherfuckers. It was like a bad line. You know what I'm saying? You ever look at a line. You're gonna gamble li New england's at home given Three points to the team who was oh in 19 last year. What the fuck who's not playing brady ain't showing up what? Lee it was the same thing. You ready?

There's a flight that goes out of lax Same flight one flight I think it leaves at 1 30 afternoon and it gets lax Kennedy at 11 something like this That flight had first class for 9 69 And main cabin select was a thousand ninety nine dollars

That's how hot main cabin selected. Oh my god But the word got out and people started making it you can't get a seat on main cabin You know why because you could always opt the first class six hours before the flight You just gotta wait like if your flight's at 6 a.m. You got to wake up like Fucking like in the dunce in the middle of the night and call and be the first one to call six hours And usually I swear to god Celia Swear to my mother's grave. I think there's only been one time I haven't gotten it Like if you get main cabin select you got first class you you call them and go I want us

They and for a buck and a quarter So you can't lose main cabin select is the level up from fucking the rest of the fucking animals All right, the seat's a little bigger All right, they got a screen and you can get the waitress to come to you the waitress. Oh, yeah, whatever you want to call You press the button main cabin too. What do you mean? No, they don't come to you. Yes, they do They more Can't you you go on I think you have maybe a better food up there You have to ring a bell for them to come and you take the order with this shit

You give the you stop your movie. You press pause on the movie You can hold on one second. You press pause on the movie You flip the even me the retard could do it. You flip the screen over You say food you gotta make sure you get all the good shit early So if you see something you want on on virgin get it early Because the thing that sells everything everything goes except the korean chicken sandwich Let me tell you something you might as well eat somebody's foot If you're gonna eat a korean chicken sandwich on virgin airlines

You might as well look at that fucking this guy that's snuck in from whatever country he did with dry feet Grab his foot and fucking bite it. It's the same difference That's so the korean chicken even I broke down and got it one time Just to see what it was like. Oh god. Why did you do that? Oh god, because you got you're stoned till it gets 8,000 No, no, because when you're gonna get in a fucking plane, okay? Oh, I don't like the six-hour flights You got to be prepared. You got to eat a good breakfast before you go. You're gonna take an aspirin for your heart to open up You got to drink water on the plane so you don't be hydrating. I've ever taken an aspirin before I got on a plane You never ran with uncle joey

You run one uncle joey, you got a baby aspirin at the gate. That's how I roll Because it don't matter with you, you know You're gonna go eat shitty food anyway in an hour. So it doesn't matter You probably got a fucking subway sandwich and your knapsack or something like that So, yeah, that's the fucking difference you you put a little heart You get water you don't need to be a fucking savage on a plane But you do need to get a little high and deviate If you want to eat a vicarin that's up to you

You do have to get a little high before you got on a plane If you want to eat xanax and get a red wine in you, let me tell you something a five and a half hour flight I know these people on this that listen to this you guys travel internationally God bless you tell fucking lee that you motherfucking international flies. You guys live on xanax All right, the people who fly across the world They live on xanax. They can't take it. They can't take it. Why would they use edibles? That'd be better anyway Because it's tough to get through the dog. It's you don't want to kill the dog Can you imagine you're fucking walking the dog sniffs your can of cookies?

And all of a sudden you look back and they pull them over what happened the dogs died And the dogs are laying there with their legs up in the air. They're foaming from the mouth So you can't they can't smell it in the gummies. Can they? In the gummies or in everything. Yeah, when you open the bag, you can smell it when you fucking when you uh Go international. They got the heavy duty. I watched that show on fucking You know, I went right to Mexico from here enough that they cared with my vape pen and nobody nobody gave a crap No, vape pen is like I said, this is a daycare If somebody if you if you get caught smoking on the plane

Then they take it off and they do the whole thing But nah, they're not gonna fucking say nothing to you for this. Well, because yeah, because it looks like the Tobacco one right or the whatever the normal one is No, no, I had it broken down in the case it comes in and then you know, I just went through nobody saw me It's so we you and I were discussing the reason why no selly is because she knows my wife from yoga So we all went to coffee one day and we're talking I I wanted to tell selly and my wife's a sweetheart, but she's a straighter than that Terry is very straight. Yeah, she's a straighter. I have no idea that you I've known Terry now for what almost

Two and a half years I think had no idea that was your wife like I can't drop a lot of knowledge on terry because Just look at me like what the fuck yeah when she called me and she was like Celia Celia Do you know who my husband is because I think maybe you know you want to be on a show? I was like what why who's your husband? And then she told me I was like, yeah, I don't see that at all But then when I saw you guys together, you guys actually make complete sense But uh, yeah, you're she's like this super Yogi flexible like earthy

T You know goba goba to go to bed Meanwhile, I'm poppin 2000 milligrams except she's fucking hilarious. I have to say She's like my favorite person to stand next to in yoga because she just makes fun of all the poses She's uh, my wife's really cool, but my wife was raised a certain way And my wife was raised how America would be using marijuana My wife was one of those people me too. So was I if you go to that area if you see when I travel I go to different areas

When I talk to different people I don't flaunt my marijuana use in front of people like Except for on the show This is this is what we do in the church But I'm I don't have a t-shirt with bob marley on it. I probably Right, you follow me. I don't have none of that gear just because I stay away from that stuff Good, that's lame. Anyway, like all that stuff. I stay away from this. I'm a kid

The time a kid I would put them on it was lame and we were kids There was one shirt that I got a couple years ago From a wheat store in hollywood That would that was one of the best t-shirts I ever got sometimes people give you a t-shirt you wash them two times You got to give them to the goodwill. Sometimes people give you Something yeah, two fucking times I don't know Cheesy t-shirts. Yeah, sometimes they just they just fall apart and sometimes people give you a t-shirt that you look at and go

But after you wash it a few times and wear it you're like Oh Just this t-shirt got some fucking life to this motherfucker. Look at this, baby. It just so happened. It was a pot plant It was a yellow shirt with like a sort of a pot plant But I had camouflage shorts in those days. So it was a nice little mix and you say Well, you were like all kinds of weeds just to keep your shit color coordinated And I'll never forget one day. I got a job on my name is real I get the from my first episode and I look I go, let me put on my camouflage shorts

So I put the camouflage shorts on I put this t-shirt on without even fucking thinking Without even thinking I put this t-shirt And I walk on the set like, you know, uh get comfortable They're gonna go eat in about a half hour. You're invited to go eat lunch and then we'll after that We'll get your makeup and shit At that fucking lunch. I forgot that I had this weed Oh my god, that's not gonna do well I had no everybody kept coming up to me going man

We love you and I'm like, what the fuck do they love? I don't even know who the fuck I am I haven't even said my lines yet. Nobody fucking knows me These fucking this t-shirt was driving people crazy. It was that cool of a shirt. You know what I did with it? I donated it Did you? That was nice. Once I had the baby. I'm like, I'm too old to wear a shirt with fucking money Like do you like an auction for something or just got rid of it? No, I got a good will I go right over here on van eyes. Probably could have made a lot of money I bring the bags now

Kid, you couldn't give the money to the charity? It's crazy. I have these posters from the longest yard When the longest yard first came out they gave me these little small posters And they kept me on the poster And there was a great little poster and they gave me a bunch of them I don't know what happened to them and when I moved I found them And I said, you know, I'm gonna do I'm gonna do a raffle for charity Give it to the people listen to the church autograph for them And someday they could do something with them

And one day I'm sitting like, oh, let me go and fucking eBay You see if they even got this poster on eBay. You bet they asked they got a little bit Fully fucking ten dollars. I'm like this shit ain't worth dick. If you signed it and then you did it then No No Yes, right A segment is worth a lot. Yeah, you could blow smoke on it. You could like oh, I see I saw A video these these idiots in England are selling bottled air

Bottled clean air to people in china For like a hundred dollars a bottle It was the stupidest. What are you doing? How do you I don't know? I don't know if you open in your I I couldn't even look at the video. I think it was on like the news off the let me look it up Well, I don't like the buys that is that's been there. Did you eat a star cilia? No, did you take a bilibus? No You got to take a little bite of a star because that's coming away. They'll believe you. They'll think you're from the FBI I'll smoke the vape, but no way that'll do me in and then I won't be able to talk anymore And I can't do the vape. I got I got kids. They gotta go smoke the vape. They'll see the campucha

And they'll think there's a problem. You think I'll do it You really gotta go bonking into the heavy duty. I did do a bonk into that. You gotta take a little bite of the star The corn or just a bonk. If you take a bonk, a little bite of the corn. Oh, this is completely real. It's only 10 milligrams. That's it It's a fucking British guy 27 year old selling it for $115 a bottle The company's called A-e-t-h-a-e-r You shouldn't fucking help him lean. Maybe buy yourself a bottle. I did do a bonk out of that. That's pretty amazing

I try to tell you whatever it's not even to read. It's the fucking bonk. That bonk is called the mule The mule does not fuck around see people show up with big bongs And they think that that's why what's special about it that look that kicks like a fucking mule the training on that bong This bong is the real is the lack. Listen. I've had every size bong there is And the big ones sometimes are hard to fucking hold and suck at the same time and really get your balance So many jokes, but I'm uh, but this thing right here this motherfucker this motherfucker here as uh What's the black guy cat Williams this motherfucker right here this shit right here. This is the bond of debt

So you smoked all through college. Where'd you go to college at? I went to college at Ithaca college Look at you as shit. Yeah, I went to and you know, there's some good weed up there So I smoked a lot of pot then and I smoked I smoked a ton after college for that matter Put myself through grad school smoked pot the whole way became a counselor That's a mental health counselor and it's at a school counselor for that matter and uh And then we moved up to Ithaca to my my now ex-husband I moved up to Ithaca to start a family and he had a job up there at a theater I started working with at-risk kids

And so that I could get pregnant. I was like, I'm not I'm done. I'm not gonna smoke pot anymore And uh, and so I didn't and I got pregnant with my first daughter and then after I had her I had Fucking terrible Uh post-partum depression. I don't know if Terry went through that but it was Horrible. I mean, I could not get out of bed. I cried. It was like they put me on a bunch of pharmaceuticals I was on um prozac for a while and that helped definitely helped like I could at least stop crying and like didn't You know feel like I didn't Love my kid, which I felt like nothing for my my child and that sucked

And uh, I didn't want to hurt her or anything But I definitely Thought about hurting myself because I just so I felt so guilty that I didn't feel anything for her And then uh, they started prescribing me like Oh god, you know xanax and valium and uh sleeping pills and stuff like that because like I just changed after I I had her I was really even when I wasn't crying anymore I was just like super anxious and I didn't and I got lots of like rage and stuff. It was fucked up And then I kind of got it under control. It wasn't smoking pot then either. How long was this like?

Well, I had like the sobbing Parts where I was just like could knock it out of bed and I'm like didn't feel anything for her that probably went on for almost a month and then uh The the anxiety like never went away and they just kept trying to give me other meds and that sucked And then I got pregnant again I went through a couple years of trying to get pregnant and taking infertility drugs Which you know, if you ever want to see somebody go completely fucking crazy give them infertility drugs Cause like holy crap. I had a friend that used to sell her eggs for cocaine

She used to sell her eggs. That is not funny. This bitch saw and she was pretty she was about 2022 23 She moved out and she was confused and shit Who was buying her eggs knowing that that's how she went to some clinic and she stayed clean And then they would give her the big paycheck and she was a waitress at the lab factory But she was selling that's a fucking process to go through you now And they had to come get her dog I bet like the family had to come here and get her and take her away I bet a white little fan

Dude, that's no joke and she was yelling abling in and holy shit. How many eggs can you sell? I don't know. She was you make them, you know, until you don't so she was an egg making machine But you got to take drugs to get them. Yes, they were giving her the drugs and she was starting to blow And she I don't think that's allowed dog. It doesn't really matter. It's like It's like I'm telling you about my wife like my wife is straight. She was raised straight So my wife was raised To believe a certain thing about marijuana And figure she was at the comedy store and she was exposed to it

She just never liked it And then every night started dating and she realized that I was I would go downstairs and smoke and You know when you first start dating people you accept things You accept things because you you're hoping you'll get rid of those things With her she was drinking and I was smoking and I was doing a lot other things But she didn't know those things then she caught on after a while But that's not here or there. What the point I'm getting to is After about a year and a half one day I came upstairs and she goes why do you need to smoke?

You know I explained to her that I had been smoking since I was a kid Wait, why do you to help your like anxiety help you focus or make you creative or Listen, let me explain something. Let me be honest. I mean it makes you feel good all these emotions Didn't become public for about 15 years ago before that and there was no anxiety. There was no fucking sleeplessness There was no insomnia. Yeah, nobody talked about that shit. You just felt fucked up when I was a kid Yeah, you were just an asshole when I was a kid. I felt fucked up mean you and whenever I smoked pot It made me feel balanced. Yeah, whenever I drank alcohol It was this yearning feeling like that would give me anxiety

Like I wanted to do but I couldn't like I was getting held back When you do cocaine, that's a certain Horrible anxiety, you know any of those drugs, but when I spoke to reefer I was home Yeah, and it took terry Me to say terry. Can you sit down for a second? Oh number one. I'm never gonna quit smoking, but I'm never gonna question. What about if you go home and meet my parents. I don't really give a friendship as fuck I'll take a walk around the corner. I go for some people. It's a cocktail for some people. It's plain tennis for some people is for this

for me it's There's nothing like going for a walk with A walkman or an iPad on whatever the fuck they call them iPod And having music on and smoke on the joint walking a mile and clearing your head. Yeah And if you have a problem, that's your solution You'll get it by the end of that walk marijuana will help you attain that. That's how I always Felt about it to be strictly honest with you

I feel similarly and I gave it up because I like I said I was raised like terry my parents were You know not into it at all and my And my stepdad he came into our lives when I was uh 14 and he like I said, you know He was pretty pretty famous musician And my mom made him give up all all weed booze everything drugs like nothing He couldn't do anything But that meant that when I was going out and smoking pot if I came home and he was there I could get fucking busted like fast and there was one time that I came in and I reeked of it

I knew it and she knew it and my mom was like not having it and I you know She said like I knew you were at sam finds house and you know, you got high and I was like what no I'm not high. I'm not high. I don't smoke and she was like harvey come here Come here and smell smell her and look at her and tell me if she's high And my stepdad who looks like jerry garcia if you don't know who he is google him His name is harvey brooks looks like jerry garcia gets in my face and just like stares at me And i'm thinking fuck i'm so fucking busted and he just like nods looks at my mom and he's like nope. She's good. She's totally not high and she was like

Oh, okay. I'm sorry and walks out. He just looks to me. He goes I want a quarter pounder with cheese. I want fries I want a milkshake tomorrow on the top of the stairs in the basement You don't tell your fucking mother Done like he had me so busted and she wouldn't let him eat shit like that so like I went out and got him everything like left it like an offering at the top of his steps because I was like I don't tell on me

And I lied. I mean I got caught with I got caught with weed in my bag My mom found it and like took it out and I came in and it was like sitting on the counter So I walked by and I like did the double tick when I was like, oh shit and I Jewish mom's don't fuck around. I was I wasn't even high and my mom did this to me once she just came up to me Are you are you high I messed up. I'm like, I wasn't high but She would look for that. I that's why I never did it. I like I smoked And then a nose for it. My mom's always like I think I was like 16 17 maybe that was the first time

Yeah, geez that was late. My mom died when I was 15 and a half and I hid it from her and I knew she got high. Yeah, why'd you hide it from her? You knew she got high and she knew I got high but she didn't Because one time she got a bind for weed. She has one of my friends Oh, but maybe she was baiting them or something because he goes, you know, your mom The morph color asked me if I get a weed And I brushed it off. Like I didn't know what you were talking about Yeah, I mean no, I hid it from you hit it. Well, see so here's the thing this and this is why I've been trying to you know

change This conversation and and I think it's so interesting that like you would say to your wife that you know Like you don't give a fuck if her parents know that you smoked But you told me that you don't want your your daughter to ever know that you smoke. No, not right now Well, not right now. I get it. She's not the next couple years. I don't want her to My almost six-year-old today asked me as I walked out the door. Mom. What's weed? And I said that's just another thing they call cannabis and she was like, oh, okay No, there's gonna be questions. You know, there's gonna be questions. Will you ever smoke it in front of her?

I'm not sure not right now. I'll dodge I'll dodge the questions. I'll explain there as much as I can Wait, but what happens if you just normalize it? Like so my kids are I mean given it's this is like been a thing like for the past year They sort of caught on I I hid it and I as I was gonna say about the postpartum stuff, you know I uh I got when I finally did have my other kid my second kid and after I had her Like I was not right still but I wasn't like a sobbing mess

But I was like, you know, I'm not I still don't really feel right But I had like, you know, bad anxiety And I was talking to my friend tom grubbs who who actually, you know, um, is a partner at this farm in uh in forest grove, oregon Uh, motor perpetual farm and and he was like, you're not right Like he's known me since high school. So he was like, you don't act like you're something's off And I told him like I haven't been right since I had my kid and he was like, you know Do you still smoke pot? I was like, what? No, I'm a mom. I don't smoke that anymore

Like I got really judgy and pissy with him and he was like, well, okay And he said, you know, I really kind of think that like might level you out Like exactly what you were just saying and he was like, you should try that I really think that might work for you And I thought about it and I thought about it and I was like, you know, I always really love smoking pot And it's exactly what you said like that. I just felt okay leveled out something about that drug, right? Does it Makes me feel like I'm home I just like to sit here and sit and give me blow smoke up your ass and tell you

In a year, I'm gonna quit smoking dope. Yeah, no, I'm never quitting again. I thought about it I thought about it because I'm not getting as high. I don't get the results I want to as when we first started. I want to I want to fucking drool So can you take like a two-month break and then go back to it? Although, how would you? What's my options? You know, I have such a system. I What about dabs? Have you tried that? No, that's too strong. I can't have a blow torch in my You don't have to have a blow torch. You can use it like the the hot nail. No, no, please for the love of Christ Have you done that? Have you done a dab? Have I done dabs if you haven't we've done them in here

It's just too much work for what I want. Uh, but you've seen the hot nail that you plug in, right? Yeah No, no, no, no, I don't want none of that stuff now. I really like those. I like my little pipe That's how I like to fly. I have that. I have my little pipe I have a fucking stick to clean that one. It was just a bob stick I steal from my wife. You go out in the backyard. I got a secret compartment. I go out in the backyard I zip it up and I put it back in the secret compartment And nobody knows fucking nothing Okay, so I have a cabinet that all of my weeds in you can see it and like any, you know

Bong or my bowl, whatever my kids know where it is I have it locked and I have the key But they know where it is and like they'll come in and I'll have it open I'll have it open and my older one will be like smells like marijuana in here. Why were you in the cabinet? But I'll vape in front of them my my older one and when I'm being uh, I mean because obviously tom was right and You know the weed worked and and so I've been using it ever since for postpartum depression and for anxiety I'm a better parent my daughter will my older daughter will go into my bag and find this And and give it to me like when it's in its case and we'll hand it to me and be like mom

Do you do you think maybe you know you want to smoke some pot because you seem like you're having a really hard time And she's not wrong And you know what when we are growing up like kids made and you know earlier than that kids made Their parents drinks and stuff, you know, like all the sally draper madman type of thing Which by the way, you know, my my daughter knows how to make a couple drinks also, but Don't I just don't we take the taboo off so that they're not brainwashed? Like we were brainwashed like terry was brainwashed like I was brainwashed You know and thinking that like this is the gateway drug

So if my kids just grow up around pot and they don't ever feel like they have to hide it from me They'll ask me about it. They know it's something that actually helps me And that makes me feel better and then in the I'm a better parent to them because I'm all leveled out and You know if one of them's like making an annoying noise sitting next to me for 10 minutes I don't want to kill her because you know that's annoying I can sit through you know a fucking barbie movie if I'm high And I don't mean get so high. I can't parent But

To just not feel You know kids are annoying. You got one. There's a lot of considerations here. There's a lot of considerations. Number one What if you went to a movie and something bad would have happened? I won't get high then I wouldn't get high and you were high But I wouldn't and nothing happened when you got in the car nothing happened. I don't draw. I don't drive with my Whatever you got in the uber or whatever What i'm saying is that it's you're gonna feel bad that you were high There's so many aspects but you don't you can smoke pot and not be high is my point

No, everybody's different. Everybody has a different situation. Remember when I sit my daughter down. I have to talk with her It's not just going to be about marijuana Right It's it's going to be no no no no no no you have no fucking idea But you got to talk about all drugs. Sure. No, there's not all drugs I got to talk to her how I put a machine on somebody's head and kidnapped them in four years in prison So my situation is a bit different My situation a little bit more different than yours. All right

I'm sure when she goes to her grandma's school in this area. They're gonna have a dad program And someday she's gonna come home and go daddy. What do you know? And I gotta talk to him bob and weave a little bit. I can't drop it out when she's fucking sex This story goes from a to b to c to your grandmother dying But you know what okay, but listen to this because my my older daughter When last year They had to do the dare poster because that's still like a fucking thing, right? They have to do dare poster and when like her and her friends are designing the dare poster and putting all the drugs on

One of her friends was like, oh, we got to put the you know the pot leaf on and my daughter was like, no We don't that's really not a drug that should be in this like at all that helps people and and my sister is fighting cancer And she's you know been using cannabis for that and my daughter knows it and she was like my aunt She's cancer and that's helping her and her friend Sophie Ryan has been fighting cancer same thing using pot for that and who's like, you know what I think four Sophie's four and And so and her teacher agreed they took it off So that dare poster had the other drugs, but not pot

So all I'm saying is like if we could take pot a weight out of that And like put that someplace else, you know, it's safer than alcohol And I don't get I really don't get high Listen listen listen listen listen listen that you go in the wrong direction You're talking to the wrong You're the choir. I got it. This is no reason for this. No, there's no reason for this drama That's the that's the that's the argument I'm getting from other people not from you. My situation is completely different than anyone says I'm old school. I have old school values and I grew up and seen it

Plus I sold it to other families. Right. I sold it to other families even from the simple you mean all drugs No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about even the simple cocktails in front of your kids and telling your kids You have it from the night before I I grew up in those families. So I saw from a different perspective I have an old school way of belief I have an old school belief in that and a child and a parent's relationship I really fucking do Because once you let one thing slip, you got to let everything slip. So with me parenting is in courses

I have I had a mom Who got high and stuff that that I appreciated not really I looked at the other aspects of her life and she was really solid And she turned me into my wife I saw a woman that got up at eight And went into the city and went into house kitchen and got meat When there was still the meat packing district and then we go buy some music Then we bring it back to union city and take a fucking cab to the

To yankee stadium the shea stand to watch the match then come home. She cooked for me So I came from a different lifestyle I've seen a different type of woman and what the fuck they're doing. I went to the bar at night I saw what they were doing and I turned the cheek Do you know what I'm saying? I didn't want that I sit here and I cringe I cringe once a week at night Of the thought of if my mom wouldn't have died because

My mom died a month before the mariel Harbor got opened. That was in 1980 when they let out 200,000 savage cubans Out of all the jails fidel got rid of them And they infused miami and northern new jersey And their whole mission was to spread folk fucking cocaine. That was their whole mission How old were you when all this went down? I was 16 february that year when mariel and all that shit, but the this times I think My situation would have got infused with cocaine

And where would that had left my mom and my relationship? But I had done coke if she would have lived I did coke a month before she died Like I held out as much as I fucking could Until this day I feel terrible about it, you know that I even did that type of stuff like but you have to live Everybody has their own sorrows and their own pains So I dig this shit you do. I you know, I didn't go I forgot the name of the website

But the whole purpose of this was that You wrote this blog you write this blog and it's pretty much about mommies and shoes and Raising your kids and shit like this I did write one about you know, my daughter finding my sex toys too, right and after three fucking years Isn't this interesting right you got a lot of people will read it especially a lot of moms and after Three years you dropped this fucking story on them that You believe that marijuana Not only helps but q is post-partum depression

You know what man? I don't even have post-partum depression. I've read about it and I know you're correct I know that if they took nine women ten women that have post-partum depression I know for a fact that's six of them, but you know what? I feel a lot better now. Let's go to the milkshake. Yep. You know what I'm saying? Like I notice in my heart But it's very tough to sell Terry Clark this oh, I know I know it So it's taken me it's taken me 17 years And I never imposed marijuana on my wife never

Never said to her you should get high never never no no no she won't she'll get pissed off She she didn't want you know, she just and I respected it and that was it And then at the wedding I was smoking hash and she goes is that hash I go yes. She goes can I take a hit? She took one hit and that was it And never again. She made me feel fucking terrible as it did when I was in college. Fuck that shit And that was it and then she heard her back And I couldn't take it no more

You have no fucking idea at night with the ice packs and the rubbing my back And I got the fucking massage I got a fucking massage package And she's yeah, then she still came home with the rub my back Bullshit, and I take it to the chinese guy for 20 happy hour when they rub your feet they pull your neck She wants to join you. Yeah. No, I don't want to I'm listening. I'm no fucking joy masseuse He got me for about three minutes and shit I do I give two types of massage the neck for three minutes and the sensual ones

That's about two and a half to the panties come off. Then the massage is over. Yeah There's no more fucking massage. You need to you need to get her the the weed Spray to put down there. Yes, you do you do that is how you get her hooked it You need the empower foreplay. That's what you need Fucking around with the fucking ice packs And I'm gonna go get a needle and I finally sat it down. I go here's the deal You know, I love you and my wife, but the shit's got a fucking head. First off my ears are bleeding You're making the insides of my fucking ears bleed with the fucking back stuff. Okay?

Okay, you got to knock it off. You're not getting another one of those shots You can't get one of the partisan shots. Yeah, that's the problem is you got the fucking shot And instead of stretching in the backyard and fucking around you sit on your ass with a fucking ice pack You believe everything the fucking doctor tells you I'm telling you you got to get blood to that area You got to get that area blood. I'm the one that made us start walking around the fucking park Oh, good. I go you got to go walk around the park. Well, that's quarter Well, I gotta go do this. No, you know, no, you got nothing to do. You got nothing to fucking do Go get the fuck out of here

And she walks around the park now. She's like, I like what doing I do it three loops now Yeah, you do three loops fucking beautiful. That's why we live here. So you go to the fucking park But she won't try cannabis for the pain in the back. Hold on slow the fuck down So I start taking hypnotherapy And the chick's telling me how she's a yoga teacher. I said, let me get a taste. I'm gonna get my wife out of the house And the yoga teacher and the hypnotherapist like what are you talking about? Listen What days you teach yoga? I go what type of yoga you're teaching? This is a soft yoga sold I go, where's the classroom? What time she gave me everything?

Honey, you're gonna go to yoga. She goes, I can't my bad. You listen You're gonna keep not chanting until how fucking long how long are we gonna hear? I fucking I can't Because then you're never gonna do it. You're 46. It's only gonna get worse I go go down there. Whatever you can do you bow out and whatever you can do you bow in That's it. This is an easy magoo, but at least you try to get some blood to that area You gotta give these areas blood. Guess what she went She went again She went again. She went for a walk

She went again. She went an extra day. She went the basic yoga one-on-one. Nice. So those sort of pains going away So we had a conversation about xanax And she's like it's starting to bother me I go, listen, I love it on the road But when I'm home, I got these stars of debt I mix it up I got chocolate bars. I got the wacky taffy. You know what I'm saying? Like I mix it up A candy store. I go Terry, I got some cbd. Oh, it's one to one. I gotta do me a favor

What time you want to be in bed? She goes, I'm gonna be in bed in about 10 15. I go, listen At about nine o'clock Do two sprays on your tongue and she looked at me at first It's just the cbd. It had any it had t h c in it. Fuck yeah 100% So somebody like her will feel and she'll sleep like a fucking baby Listen, she fucks around with that goba goba Melatonin all that shit works three nights and then your resistance goes up and you're fucked You actually depend on them. I'm like, I'm gonna take three of these not nothing's gonna happen. They're done

She drinks the kana kana tea The woo woo tea everything puts you to sleep for a night and then you know, there's no more sleeping And I could hear her teeth grinding At night I could hear her teeth grinding. So I told us it wasn't anything they're gonna object But just listen to me hand me out. Just hand me out I go, I gotta call from a friend of mine He called me he told me he needed cbdo. He wanted to try it. I brought him a fucking the best cbdo one to one I go, I gave him the cbdo. He's my brother. I grew up with him. I don't give a fuck take it

He called me back two months later. Then we're talking and he goes, listen I want to thank you for the cbdo. I go why he goes well He goes I got a dog who's got cancer And he goes his numbers were going down to this kidneys I don't know. You know, I'm not a doctor ladies and gentlemen. I don't know the thing my friend is from jersey also He's crazy like me And I could hear his he goes I've had this dog for 13 years or something. He gets cancer and He goes, I don't know what to do but his numbers were going out

He goes, so I started giving him two sprays every night. He goes, well, I got to lose He goes, guess what his numbers are going down. He goes, he's still gonna die But he's doing a lot fucking better than what he was doing. So I go, honey, if it saved the dog Give me the shot And my wife's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, just give one shot An hour and a half before you want to go to bed And she gave it a shot And the next day I said, what do you think?

And she goes, I don't think it was enough Oh, that's awesome. So I go do two She did two and now she does three at night dog Come on And she went but she don't think she would eat an edible. No Really even one that just had like one milligram. Listen to me. Oh, I tell these people on the fucking I tell these people on the air and I try to tell them Listen, when you guys see me in league and chocolates

And all this shit, it's cute It's really cute people. But let me tell you something The best edible so you'll ever make are the ones you make in your own living room in your own kitchen How do I know? I'm gonna tell you guys a little story I meet Terry in 2000 We move in together maybe nine months later You know, I'm busy as fuck on the road as a feature act. I'm open for Joe Rogan

I'm starting to do movies little by little You know, she knows of my drug use. She kind of yeah, you know, I would meet her at the store and have a few drinks And uh What the fuck was I gonna tell you? Edibles making your edibles and one day I hear about this edible shit I go to houston, texas and my buddies in houston Turn me on to brownies and I ate one one night on stage. I saw purple spots and shit I pulled them out. I go, what the fuck do you put in these?

And he told me and I you know, all right, I'm gonna go home and do the same thing you do And it was me my wife and this girl in drag All right, so it was a sunday night We went down there and I hosted and then drag and my wife came later on and they worked That's narrow waitresses at the commie store And when I took off about 12 30 those girls came home. It was like a memorial day week I'm like a labor day weekend So we went back to my house and andraya and my wife ate

While I was gonna make brownies at one in the morning. Okay, so I fucking whip up the box of chocolate fudge whatever the fuck they send you I put the fucking almonds in there, you know, whatever the fuck they send you the chocolate almond berry cracker And I take butter I throw in a fine pan in the lowest level that I could throw it Mm-hmm. I take this weed. I dry it really good. It was from A friend of mine and I took an eighth of it and I grinded it down. I took all the stems out. I cleaned it And I let this butter just simmer and I would throw the weed in there I would throw a little bit to weed until it was fine and then I would just

Squeeze the weed until the butter turned green And I would dip it on the brownie and then I would do the same pot and I would mix this into a fucking brownie And you know, I would lick the spoon a little bit and I would come back and do this and this went on for 2030 35 minutes It's like cooked all the fucking weed And even then I took the weed and put it back into another batch of butter with it And took it all the way fucking down and drained another fucking three ounces of fucking THC juice into this chocolate brownie mix

And I whipped this shit up and there's a law and order maritime going on. So I'm on fire I really lick the spoon three times I went downstairs to smoke the joint. I probably got a xanax in me something. I got something in me I put the fucking brownies in the thing I take them out and It's about two in the morning and we're all sitting there the next thing, you know The girls go in the kitchen and they're like, man, that smells good. Andrea was straighter than my wife. Oh my god She was from the south also

They didn't like that shit. They would have a few drinks and listen to kid rock But everything else isn't gonna fucking work out for you They come back and they look me straight in the face Lee and we think that question was If you know your uncle joey, what do you think they asked me and what do you think I told them? I feel like I could answer this so you better be able to I have no idea. I'm hot as fuck right now. I'm sorry The girls came out and said is that whole thing thc and you said no Oh, no half of it is thc And the half of it is straight up. I totally would have gotten that and they looked at me really disappointed in you Lee

I was high from the three spoons But when I went in there and cut a piece of brownie a little one and I gave them each a little piece And then I ate another piece. We went out there and started watching law and order And those girls and me started getting high High high by eating the morning. We couldn't even go to bed. We're fucked up those girls were fucked up And they were loving it like my wife's eyes were beat red and drea's eyes were beat red I fucking fell asleep in the bed. My wife fell asleep on the couch and drea fell asleep on the floor Oh my god, I thought you knew me next to your wife. We that was nice. We woke up like at four in the afternoon

Hungry as fuck giggling. So why would you do it again? This sounds like a lovely time. My wife got so fucking high She couldn't go to work and the whole thing So that was the end of that. You don't have to do it every time. I'm gonna give you my advice Don't even ask Don't even ask and you don't want to know let me give some shout outs here real quick All right, jay mcfanatic salad bow grinder jfag six angel rodriguez

perzangaberg Perzangaberg, I like that name and shit floyd 79 justin wood jimmy nunya And d in colorado. I love you motherfuckers Don't forget Thursday night flappers and then next Thursday The weekend at the brand motherfucking improv bitches So let me answer this. Yeah

So now you do this blog for the fucking three years And you put a blog in there about reef is solving all this and who gets mad at you. Oh my god Everyone got mad People unsubscribe and stuff like that. Well advertisers pulled out now. Okay. So this this magazine is based out of where Your blog is based well. Yeah, we're like a mom website and it's based out of la and we have you know We sell advertising space and and uh one company that will remain nameless was actually uh wanted my older daughter to do like Influencing you know online for their brand and I would have had her instagram account Like I would had a control over it and once I came out about

Supporting cannabis they they pulled out and said nope. Never mind. We don't want to touch that So, I mean it was you know brands big pharma that was you know, one of them. It was yep. They had no interest in that I could tell you way ahead of time that I think people are still very confused. They are entirely No, no, no the mentality is still there. There's still that old american mentality That marijuana and there's nothing you can fucking do. I don't know. You know what though? Your buddy Joe Rogan said it really really well like pretty recently and he said you know, we take all these pharmaceuticals

We don't know what's in them. We just believe what the government tells us that's safe. That's safe. That's safe We take it. You know what? I believe I believe that the farm That uh has helping my sister and has helped me where I can go and walk around that greenhouse And I know the people that are you know raising that crop do an amazing job And it's organic and I see where it comes from and people really give a shit And that this is a natural thing and and I am worried about big pharma being involved and they're gonna be involved Plus like there's you know, sort of corporate cannabis stuff now. I like a small farm. That's doing good I'm into that as a mom and that's hard to argue with as a mom

Go to the store on the corner and get weed my my fucking business. I don't want to go to the farm This guy. I want to go to the fucking farm. Yeah, but you're not a mom. What would terry do terry goes to whole foods, right? Listen doesn't she doesn't know terry don't give a fuck about this. Oh come on. Yes. She's like all yogi and blah blah terry doesn't know anything about these weeds No, not weed regular stuff that she that she'll get a bunch of different places. That's what i'm saying But she wants to try like all the herbs, right? Yeah, she wants to go to drill forts different super. Right. So why can't we all these things you she was taking before You know go to bed like to me, you know, she got that whole food

You don't know where it came from or what the government put in that But I do know what you know, what's in cannabis and what's in weed I like to call cannabis because it sounds No, no, I listen. I agree with you on all these facts, right? The only thing I'm trying to explain to you is this is all great shit People are right. No, yeah, you could do Yeah, no go on my yahoo article and read some of the comments people said Oh, no the people the people that Listen man, this is old america and and and

There was supposed to be a war in drugs that was never fucking won. There was just exposed And it was a war that was that that that fucking failed miserably And you know every generation has a different drug for lease a generation It was to do ecstasy and jump up and down when the jewish kids came I did a fair amount of ecstasy I mean whatever we all had something different and to some people marijuana is included in that circle And there's nothing you could do but isn't there for the next generation by doing what i'm doing If I start this conversation now and my kids grew up thinking it's no big deal

Your kids go up thinking it's no big deal and it falls more into Well, that's kind of like Tylenol or you know and and and a kind of you know alcohol though We don't touch but we sort of can use recreationally and to make us feel better Don't we change their view if we do this now? Do what like if I if my kids growing up now do this change it so it's not like hush hush hiding it Trying to bless my kids if you get in your fucking car today and you go to fucking sunset boulevard and make a right They're gonna see all this shit. No, but they're gonna see all these fucking billboards and eventually one day They're gonna come and ask you no mine already asked right. I understand that

And i'm fucking happy for you, but one day they're gonna come and ask you and you have to talk to them and expand them And that all takes time Wait, but but if you just sort of integrate it like into it like it's not a big deal. I don't need to integrate it That's the problem. I don't really want to integrate it every you know, there's a family There's gotta be a fucking family moral somewhere And this cut there has to be somewhere. Why is that not the moral and there's an age And at some ages there's some shit that they should not be exposed to wait Wait, wait, wait. I should even think about that. Do you drink a beer or anything in front of your?

No, you won't drink in front of no No, yeah, no Then when you're 16, you're at the club with your fucking stupid girlfriends drinking wine talking about how you're 16 You're old sucking dick and we're drinking. Yeah, that's how it starts With the stupidity. That's how it starts with the stupidity With no his dad did my dad did but his mom is by the book and my mom is I've seen I love I love what you're talking about here and start seeing it, but no, I like I like I know and I saw I listen I saw families

that were catholic as fuck That I used to go to the house and eat Italian food And nobody would curse and then drugs started coming on the scene and two of the kids died This isn't my point. I also saw people that Grew up with kids that didn't do drugs, but the parents played cards And on the weekends they played cards and drank And we would go to their houses and because the parents went on drink He would have parties at his house

Today that kid's a fucking boozer Yeah, because so for me, what was the cause of that boozing that his parents weren't home. They were out fucking around Fucking around. Yes my chin fucking around, but that's talking around And then you get mad. What is my daughter one of my son doing so in my world? I saw it from a lot of different perspective I'm 54 I don't even like to talk about what I'm gonna teach you because I'm alive today and I get to spend time with her and sit with her Listen, man. I was exposed to things at young ages. I never should have been exposed

I never should have been exposed as simple as it sounds like you never should have been exposed I still loved that I shot a gun you know In those days in those days there was a thing called the pa l The police athletic league and after school if your parents didn't have enough money You signed up and you went to the police athletic league They took everybody because they had a pool table They fucking sharpened guns. They taught you how to clean guns

You know, they taught you that you serve lunches to homeless people It was a fucking adventure then this was before this Way of you know I mean, we're all looking for a better fucking america every, you know, if you take your child to these schools In malibu and whatever. I mean before I even had a child that would go to barbecues At my friend's house and they would talk about how they had to pull their kids out of malibu high Because of the amount of drugs drugs. Yeah, you know, they tried to put them in a private school

They had more drugs. Yeah the more money the more drugs the more money the more You know, so I'm sitting here going like right now. I'm sitting here going. Where do I move this child? But on the other hand, I want you to know something uh, cilia. What's up, brother? But I like I grew up in one of the nicest I mean towns in my in the state where I grew up But even where I grew up it used to be called drinking drugs berry that my high school There's been drugs at high school. Yeah forever And you didn't do drugs

Not until I was like 16 or 17 now and I barely did smoked weed and took I took my first edible One of those five minutes ago homemade brownies It was fucked up. This is my point. It's everywhere Joey like it's every you can't get away with it So that so that's where I get to like why if we're sheltering them like you're gonna see it on tv And now they have screens and they're all you here's you too like you they're gonna get into it So isn't it better now if we introduce it to them as kids? I think like my question is because I I've seen Seeing then some pretty interesting shows really interesting on this subject and I think one of the parents had a

Dispensary near or in their house or something to that effect And they got their kids taken away from them if I'm not mistaken probably well I don't know no no But unless the kid got into it that they shouldn't have gotten them taken away for that or or unless it was illegal Was it an illegal operation? I haven't done the research But um, I could I'll look up and see if I can find it But my question is like do you worry now that it's gone a little viral that and you say how open you are with it? Because even though I'm losing my kids you mean

Well, do you not for like a not full time, but like they could contest it or maybe your ex-husband? I'm not sure what I don't know. No, uh, no because my kids aren't I mean I it's the same as having alcohol It's a legal state and I have a card and it's locked up From them they don't have access to it. Um, and so actually it's not a child protective issue And so cps wouldn't have a case unless I was getting them high or I was getting so stoned that I couldn't parent But that's what I'm saying. I'm not I don't do that. I micro dose to control anxiety I use it like it's medication and I don't hide that from my kids Okay, that makes sense. Not that I never get high. I certainly will but my kids are not home when I do that

How's that and they don't know that part Like I don't I don't say sometimes mommy gets so high that she needs to go to bed like I don't say that I really like what you wrote about the menopause piece And I like that you're getting grief. I turn you on to a different doctor to go down there and Talk about this shit, you know The causes I mean, yeah, it helps it helps menopause. It helps ppd. It helps, you know pms. I uh I don't know. I I've been like I told you See like grew up in a drug environment. I know you're it's a different story. I uh, no, no, no

I bought weed when I was young. I love weed. I'll sit here cross when you're on the microphone I'm a bible and I love marijuana and I got a look in the eye and tell you that I don't know how I feel about legalized marijuana till this day. I don't know How I feel I feel a lot better than I did five years ago. I know that The cbdo is helping me I know that I had a fucked up knee And I bought some tremendous cbd spray And I sprayed it on my fucking knee and my knee feels great. I was waiting on the fucking ebson salt

You were gonna bring me. I don't totally forgot that cbd. You slipped up. I did. I wanted to introduce it to the fucking world You understand me. It's gonna be that an acupuncture. That's that's that's empower body care. That's empower body. They're gonna get you some Uh, I want because I believe in a lot of that stuff. I still there's a lot of stuff There's a lot of mysticism and shit that I don't buy into still even though wait, what do you mean mysticism? That's just There's a level of like a shaman with weed. No, no, no, no, no. I'm so sorry There's a level of this whole movement That I don't dig

Oh, yeah That people think I dig and I really don't dig because I don't really give a fuck Like I don't really give a fuck. You understand You got the wrong guy which part which part just the whole jumping up and down Like I don't like weed festivals I don't you know, I think it's a privilege. Yeah, I think let's take it and run with it. Shut up fucking mouth You know, why be John Gotti and rubbing people's faces shut the fuck up and you know what you know what 10 years from now When there's 100 people in the hospital God forbid God forbid God forgive me for saying something like this

But this is what's going to need to happen This is what's going to show those people that we are sitting here talking about that will never flip Is for a picture of people that have had cancer for six eight months and and other people who have beaten cancer And said I sprayed this under my tongues three times a day for six months and my spots You know went away or my Boils went down or whatever the terms is I'm sorry. I'm yeah. No like your tumors. This is what's going to need to happen. Yeah on cnn 50 people say they moved to colorado And my son was getting epilepsy families. He was jumping off windows and now look at him. He's doing ballet

He's skiing with one fucking leg That's what needs to happen. Well, and that but that is we need to see it there But it is tell me your fucking stories. We need to see right, but that's I'm not saying to you. You know, I'm not being this but I'm just saying this. I'm that that part of America You know, but there's always gonna be Like it's not that I'm in a wheat store 11 years ago now at this point If you came to me with the cbd bullshit, I'd say listen My little cute Jewish chick you're looking nuts tonight. Are we your little monkey? And if we got nowhere, I shook you

I don't have to listen to your cbd or a bullshit. Who's that chick? Fuck. Uh, she didn't want to suck dick I'm gonna keep her around trying to tell me cbd on heels. Yeah. This was when I was like Stop with the Betsy Ross flag at this point. I don't want to hear about your fucking what do they call it? Cush t-shirts or they call it. Oh, I don't want to hear. I didn't want to hear it And one day I go to this weed store. That's hidden That's hidden. This is where a couple celebrities went. I didn't know about it because celebrities I went there and bought papers And one of the guys goes, you know, we got a weed store here. I go no shit

And I went in there the guy quit his job on hollywood on us on uh and belly hills as a chef And then his brother opened up a weed store and they got the fat guy From the valley right around bourbon boulevard by wit said there's a weed there's a Wait, wait, wake up. I'm talking to my mom. I'm on my mom. You're fucking con sucker He needs your he needs one of the Yes, he does So, uh, we he invested and they opened up this little weed store in the back with lisa at this guy was a baker You understand me like a fucking

Beverly Hills Truffles that type of shit his edibles were supreme. You didn't even you didn't even taste the amount one You would go joey get you gotta give me that one. I don't give a fuck That's where they had to carry rodrigo torres. You ever hear the story? We were all eat edibles and all of a sudden they had to carry him to his car his legs are dragon Where'd he go? We had to carry him back to riverside. No, where does baker go? Did they fucking closed it down that they want to do it no more? Because that's what I've been searching for. You know what they were smoking two months

But these guys i'm in there one day. They had platinum. They had this weak chick They just did a profile on her on one of these tv shows She was growing weed and belly hills and flying it and yanking people She they were getting her weed. It was an og. This is 15 years ago. Nobody knew about og She's chick was already getting og and sending it somewhere else And they were getting like one of the only shipments from her in l.a. It was going to that store and the rapper had that show Lee 10 years ago 12 years ago a rapper had a show on mtv where he would fix cars exhibit hadn't

Pink exhibit were going there every day and buy an ounce of weed Something in my generation. No, that's crazy. Like this is how this little weed store You know who else wanted that who's the chick that had the fucking tv show I don't even see that talk shit and they cancelled it with three episodes left So she never went on vacation from the fucking 90s, uh She was trying to make a comeback a few years ago and she used to go in there I used to see the craziest fucking celebrities in there

So one day i'm in there and there's a dude with a fucked up head cut Like i'm a rain head cut I'm like this guy could beat the narrow and taxi driver He could just shoot everybody in here And silly the next thing you know He bought like an ounce of this and I was worth of this and The guy started talking to him the big fat guy pete and he goes well you live around he goes now to be honest Yeah, I live here, but I had cancer and he goes it was the weirdest thing

I was a fucking lieutenant colonel rookie lake No, he's like I was a lieutenant colonel in the I was a lieutenant colonel in the fucking army for 20 years For years. I despised marijuana despised it And he goes I came back and I got cancer And I lost 90 pounds and I was really sick And my son made me start smoking it

And I said no for weeks and one day I took a chance and It saved my life. I started eating and stuff and that's the first time I was like Okay All right, my sister has staged for a colon cancer. I get it now and that she's been using rso Which is you know rick simpson oil and she was using suppositories So you know she was getting her ass high which was right on there and she would never smoke pot I I smoked pot I always trying to get my sister high and I wrote a blog about this because it was like I you know I said I've been trying to get her high since I was 14

I've managed to do it twice and the first time was when We were I was in like right after college and I got her high at my grandparents farm And we got like the serious giggles and then the next time was when she was diagnosed with cancer And because she couldn't eat she she only weighs 90 pounds and she was you know She couldn't eat she was the chemo was making her super nauseous and throwing up And it had already metastasized by the time they found it. She's only 40 just turned 41 And she just had a baby and so while she was pregnant this cancer was growing her pregnancy basically masked the fact that she had colon cancer and um

she's you know Doctors won't say that this is what's like done it, but she's come so far. It cannot believe you're eating whole one of those She's come so far and that if you're not a believer and you can't believe after seeing somebody who has cancer Go through what you know if they go through and come back from it It's just the rowing stars at you Do it why are they wet? That makes some extra tasty Oh

I love your blog I love what you do. I love the balls All right what you did because I love it. I can't I can't really believe In today's society so many women would get mad but you have to expect it. Oh, it wasn't just women It was meant to yeah. Yeah calling me a shitty parent telling me to get my tubes tied Hope I don't have any more kids. Why do you think it is? I'm like, you know that moms can't have fun Isn't that bullshit? I think that's not fair. I think that the I believe in mom's the fuck see I was raised by a single mom So and she had a bar and she would dress up and get dolled up

I still remember her going to the cheetah the cheetah was the club before studio 54 You understand me. That's how deep my mom And I used to beg and take me to the cheetah with you. I had to be full I'd be crying take me to the cheetah four or five like a little girl crying She's fucking with that lean knock it off. Do you know my puke? Why not stop with the puke throw it in your mouth and he's got stars over there to replace look He's tough for the nest Popped the star heat the fucking thing. Well, yeah, this is constantly every day with this guy

You know, let me tell you something I live I have a 27-year-old Oh, I didn't know that. I don't talk to nobody fucking knows, you know, unless the people That people do And by the age of five I had made mistakes around You know what I am? I got a couple mistakes around She was A little from my cloth

One day she was watching tv in my living room. I would have her on Wednesdays From two to seven and she was watching tv in my living room And the chinese guy came with the delivery and I bought us some food And fuck jesus christ I couldn't get an eye like from one in the afternoon Now it's 6 30. I've answered 80 questions I've chased her in the 22 bicycles, you know what I'm saying? Like i'm a criminal and i'm playing dad for five fucking hours

And i'm a worn damn without the porch I had that fucking little bit joint. I had an outdoor porch And you know, I went to blow the smoke and she was walking up to stand watching me And my heart broke and I may believe like it didn't happen and I don't know. She told the mother. I don't think she did. She was like I said, she was a ds at the time. She was a ds But that always I always were taught about that, you know, I was like really joey and what the fuck And then she saw me into a fist fight I didn't even try to see that and that's when I was like that's it. I gotta stop this shit

Because she's gonna grow up to be an animal like me and I don't want to see this shit and I just uh I don't have weird Like I said, it's not weird. It's it's inevitable because she's gonna come home one day and ask about Drinking or whatever the fucking marijuana. I'm gonna make a joke or whatever, you know, I dread the questions Like they told her at school. I was like, no, they didn't tell her at school I was a comedian. They asked her if I was funny and she said fuck no She didn't say fuck no. She just goes no, he's not funny

So you know what I'm saying? She's like daddy, why would they ask him if you were funny? I don't say nothing about comedy Every once in a while. You do hear this from me. What are you doing in the doggy? Yeah, yeah, yeah every once in a while. I slip and say show in front of her And she looks at me like on a wheel like she don't know I don't want to know I'm a comedian to a certain age I don't want her to go to your house And be that fucking kid You follow me. Don't tell me you don't know what the fuck I do Especially in this fucking neighborhood

You go to parties here and parents are gonna hold on one second and they'll bang two spoons And all of a sudden three little gay kids come out of living room dress like each other Singing the fucking Beatles and you're like, where's my gun? Where's isis when you need it? No, no, no, no, you have the lee you have no idea. I do not want to be that parent I am fucking sorry Celia. I agree. I am sorry So I don't want to be in your house one day with your nice jewish fucking family and the guitar player jerry Garcia and lee's there and a bunch of other fucking jews and all of a sudden my kid breaks out And is this my gun is this my gun and you're like what the fuck also these that's going listen

I was doing lesbian tricks in the first grade and you people like no Oh my god, you understand me. Yeah, so no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no When she could understand what the fuck stand up comedy is and how I do it why I do it Right, that's dead if I go to the house And law and uh longest yard is on and my wife's like look at daddy. I go turn that the fuck off I don't one time my wife slipped and she saw it. She's like is that you and I'm like no no And she didn't give a fuck. She goes get that off Perfect. She don't give a fuck. There's certain things that I gotta feed her

Little by little dog. I don't know what order they're gonna come. What day is she gonna come and go daddy? They show this a prison play Were you ever in prison? Come here for a second. Let me tell you a little fucking story about your father, right? You know What about the day I got to tell about her 20 20 year old sister before her and why you have no idea How this chapter of stories is gonna wind up? What about the day she comes up to people go, what about you two?

What about the day she comes up to me when she was 12? And she goes I was watching the video you and lee you said you were snorting coke on some chicks pussy Did you ever snort you know what i'm saying? This is the shit when I wake up at two in the morning go. Oh my god Like this i'm i'm way ahead of you. Yeah I'm way ahead of you whether so you want me to sell her whether it's good for cancer victims That's the least of my fucking dilemmas. You know what i'm saying? That's the least of my fucking dilemmas, okay? Right, you know, I don't want that fucking weed in that house

So you don't have weed in the house you do yes, I do but I have it on the other side of the house way away from her I don't let my wife leave in the yard if I go out there I wait till she's in the bedroom and I go out to this certain thing and I smoke out there I keep the weed smoking in the backyard to a limited Just for right now just for fucking right now. Yeah, she's young still No, no, no, you have no idea But you also accomplish a shit ton for somebody that's like the whole you know, this is why my wife Back down on it rest of america thought that like anybody else that somebody who smokes marijuana is lazy

Right, it's a gateway to other drugs and they also think that They just sit around and play a video game right and they want the anti everything right that smokes marijuana Marijuana you're not the only one either marijuana to me is a stimulant Put some coffee with that. That's another stimulant. They're mixing those now, you know A piece of nicotine gum That puts you over the top. You understand me. You can get like fancy coffee with you know Yeah, it's 35 milliliters that don't do this for nobody I gotta sit that drink think up some coffee and be high and piss like a fucking savage now for eight hours

Yeah, you're you do break the stereotype. That's what I hope with my kids. It's no, that's the thing To me since I was 13 and I didn't know how to describe it For me from the time I started smoking weed forget about work ethic What marijuana did like if you had a hard job, you called uncle joey. I would go and assess it And I'd say silly it's gonna cost you a yardstick And I would smoke a little bit and go back in that room And put music on and I wouldn't stop for four hours And then for four hours I come out again. I take another two tzatz

Go back in there and get a half and cheese sandwich. That was my thing I would work I do anything But I had to be high As long as I was high I could fucking do whatever the fuck you had for me Give me a minute to figure it the fuck out But mule work There was nobody but I did more mule work high. I could paint rooms If you come to me and say I got a building. I got five rooms are exactly the same

The first room is gonna be hard because now by the time I get to the second room is gonna be easy I go in there and mask everything up. I throw paint I think what do you think gives you the patience to do that type of shit? Yeah, the fuck in six years, but I feel like that's the same thing as parenting Like it gives you the patience to parent let me okay. It's like you said the running around Saturday mornings Saturday fucking mornings I wake up at 7 a.m. The girls are sleeping till 8 30 my wife makes up about 7 15

I wake up about maybe 30 minutes 45 minutes before my wife I wake up. I press the coffee thing I clean up some fucking cat vomit and shit I Go to my room. I put the candle on I pee I wash my hands. I put on the computer. I open up the three fucking places. I'm gonna go to I start checking hot mails. I drink some coffee after a couple after like three or four sips of coffee It's on ceiling. I go out to my backyard

Whether it's 6 15 whether it's dark out still I fill up that fucking pipe I close both doors behind me And I hit that fucking thing if I got some impulso I hit it again like a savage. I go in there I drink some more coffee with some fucking nicotine gum and it's all over I start writing goals I fucking send my emails up by that time. I hear my wife I hear my wife in the kitchen fucking throwing garbage out of doing fucking something yelling at one of the cats or some shit And I've already done

An hour's worth of work right in 30 minutes. I'm already alive. I already know my mission for the day I know exactly how I feel if I'm gonna go to jujitsu or not. Oh, I got a plan B I mean, I but this is the way I've always been on it Yeah, I don't think you're alone there. I think a lot of people are like that The stereotype stereotype is you're like a lazy asshole and you know, you can't take care of your kids and stuff And that's why I went, you know, when the yahoo thing came out and people were like, well, she's clearly an uneducated lazy You know, asshole and she's gonna lose her kids and you know what? I I I have two businesses on my own I have my life coaching practice and the blog and uh, and then I work for um

I freelance and do like radio work for freelance stuff and I freelance right for other places as well and like I don't know my kids see me working. I work around the clock. I never stop And I you know, I'm a master's degree and a bunch of certifications and a trained rehab counselor Like I'm not talking out of my ass and and yet people were like, you know, I run the fucking show I believe in you. Listen, here's the stereotype. I don't like here's the stereotype See that why is it like that your next blog is a picture you

With a glass of wine right or a picture you with a joint. Yeah wine. I'd be I could get away with Do you accept me? I'm 300 fucking pounds. I drink two glasses of wine. You can do whatever you want. You can stick You come is up my pussy I don't even have a pussy Is a wine I got a pussy I get fucked up stealing that Brilliant, I get fucked up. See, you know, I'm not an alcohol dude. There's a high degree. You want to drink it? Both of us will be on the fucking asses. Yeah, last time I drank a Heineken out of here. I was fucked up and thirsty

If I get in a pork sandwich Holy shit, you know pork sandwich at 6 30 at night and go to bed. You'll wake up at three fucking dying I don't want to do that. But uh Yeah, I don't I drink I mean I I usually drink on the weekends and when I say a drink I have like a drink or a few beers on a Saturday if I'm out But uh, I don't I don't typically drink and I don't drink during on school nights Like we say in my house. I don't drink on school nights. I don't feel like I can get up I practice yoga for an hour and a half every day

And if I drink and I wake up the next morning, I feel like crap. But if I smoke But yeah, you're but you're I hear what you're saying It's the it's the stereotype moms can have wine and we can have I'll give me all the wine You know and like you said moms aren't allowed to have fun Didn't california just get voted in the marijuana didn't they reject it two times? Yeah, uh one time I once think about that. They got rejected one time. But we can drink as much as we want No, I passed this time it passed. It didn't get rejected once but People were not people are not ready for it. You know how they got the things so much worse for you tax money

Tax money. Well, yeah, I mean tax money. That's how they sold california Well, and big farm is gonna be involved soon. Yeah, but I don't even fucking think about that shit That's always let me tell you what the sad thing is that if you drive I I always like I said to you I don't mind if you saw weed my love I always know you're gonna sell it. Hmm. Just do it professionally I Love to go to my weed store. I'm a very loyal fucking dude Lee knows I fucking get pissed at him when he fucking yelps and goes to different stupid places

But you'll do the stuff they can really get cute with me, you know what I'm saying People see those canisters and they see the name on that So when I go to your store treat me a little fucking nice, you know, I'm saying there's places that treat me really fucking nice So last week I went to this other weed store. I saw it. I was driving in fact. I was with my wife We're going to get lunch and I go, you know, I'm gonna go there tomorrow for a week. She don't give a fuck I just say it to her. She looks at this is great It just listens to the music. So the next morning I went in there. Oh my god Me I'm sitting there going this place. I'm not even a realtor

See, I'm not a realtor But I know what 20 000 a month is I'm ventura boulevard studio city. Sure with four parking spots Wow in front of your store from that to four. You understand me four four four I'm ventura boulevard right in the heart of studio. That's 20 nuts. Yeah, that's 20 000 a fucking month They got two employees that look like fucking models Of course the chick had a rack with a low cut t-shirt Of course and the guy was trying to be a guy

But I know you had sucked a couple cocks somewhere along the line the security guy was there, you know My point is that I think these places got a little bit too big for their bridges They're gone awfully fancy. And if you go to hollywood you really go, wow Oh, you must really like love the whole bud tinder concept then. No no, no no no no no Yeah, I kind of gathered I used to go The first weed store I ever went to was next to the dukes on Sunset Boulevard The guy knew me from the commie store. He sometimes I think griffin and he just came in when they was

So what's up, dawg? You're none. He goes, what are you doing here breakfast? What are you doing here? He goes, I own the weed store. Come on over and give me a holla And I went in there and they had a little black chick from the Bronx with the fucking accent from the boogie down and shit with We liked the whole oh my god, and she was killing motherfuckers because she was back to the smoking and Selling and passing you a joint motherfuckers by anything. They didn't know what the fuck was going on She was tremendous, you know, but some of these people have lost their minds. They used to be a place on Formosa

Formosa and Santa Barbara Santa Monica and Hollywood. This is ten years ago They had a guy out in the street and you check your security. In fact, I saw Lawrence Fishburne outside there one day He wasn't going into by wheat. I was standing out there and he just said hello. I said hello to him But I used to go in there and I'll never forget one day. I went in there straight face Hollywood 2009 And he goes, hi, welcome to another place. I had been in there about four times already And I thought they had a sense of human. I looked like on me as she's on She was looking for us or to you, you know, and I look like a listen. I

Want to see the fucking devil She just looked at me. She goes, we don't use the type of language and yes Listen to me, we're living in a place that tomorrow morning if you'd like I Think my wife has yoga 10 30 you're more than welcome to come to the house We will take you to breakfast and after breakfast. I'm gonna take you to cofax and Ventura Close your eyes. You know what that is. I do. There's a jinkies breakfast. Yeah, okay We're gonna park the car by the weightlifting place and we'll walk down the stairs

And you walk down there. There's a little running path And we're gonna take a join that one of the joints you brought me to there from the farm Take that join that we're gonna spark it and 2017 studio city, California Lee's gonna sit there with a clicker and we're gonna smoke the whole joint And we're gonna watch how many people gonna hold their noses and give us dirty looks You will look at me and go jump me. I thought you were fucking lying to me. I'm gonna go. This is why You can't say this type of shit about marijuana

You want to smoke your weed? You got to keep it under the hat because these people are still living in 1920 look at the hold their nose and walk by you. I've never seen that hair really It's I'll take I'll take you to a place. I'm totally I will take you to a place I'm in that you'll see like grandma's running by your grandma and you'll have your fucking joint you shit They were born in like 1930 And you'll see them running and also now look at your go and they'll hold their noses And they'll run past you and that won't say get 20 yards from you Don't look back and give you dirty looks don't take pictures of you

Can I wear my mama t-shirt just to rub it in yeah bring a video camera? Yeah, you will die. You will go Joey I thought you were kidding me. This is why you're intimidating They can be 40 year old moms I just went down in one day One day I said let me go for a walk. I put my running sneakers on and I just got caught up down there Yeah, right and I took a fucking Took a joint out and I sparked it down there about 9 15 in the morning And people were running by and they were pissed off at me if six people went by Four of them after actually turned around and just stared at me for like five minutes like how could you you know?

Though there's just like those are the same people though that when they're running on the treadmill They fart next to the person like that's running next to them and don't care So, you know, you know, they're just assholes. We live in a place where They're ready, but they're not ready. They don't I we can't reach them from any level like you know You finally believe in something when you know what man? I have a child and Celia's child had a problem and CBD all cured him Now we relate we have something to relate on well really so I'll bump into your swim class She looks great CBD

That's you you're telling me Celia. You're Jewish You're trying to fucking look me in the face and talk to me about CBD all of everything your people have fucking been through You know talk to me about fucking CBD all about everything they went We didn't really kill Jesus, you know, I mean You know, you think about it and you but it really does work for people Working for my wife. Yeah, she's seen it because it's not She came to me and she goes, I don't know what happened here and I I sprayed it on it. I lost count And I don't know how high I got whatever she goes. It's empty

I mean, she goes make sure you go today. I mean, she was serious. Yeah, she should be that morning the first thing I went and got a cbdo. I'd put on the count. Let me tell you something I could put a fucking Thing on that counter a month later that thing will be on that fucking counter I put that box in the counter. She swooped up like that and took it to the bedroom I worked my wife slowly She's not going to get high the highest she's going to get is on that juice At 11 15 at night. That's as high as she gets when I walk in there

She's not snoring no more. She's not biting her mouthpiece no more a sleep anxiety has gone away now Would somebody believe me and and and uh, america if I told them this no, they don't I have no Validation for them to believe me. Yeah, but they should believe you more than other people You were a naysayer anyway, and you use the stuff. Here's the beauty like you're the best person they listen to about that No, no, no, like when what's the guy did that did it on cnn What's that do sook the Oh, uh, goop the goop. There's somebody was against dr. Goop. Somebody was against marijuana until they saw that Son Jay Son Jay thing and then they put it on a bill to vote it into you know, that's how

influential That's the type of people that have to influence marijuana. It's not fat fucking ex felons like me Or a little chubby jewish. It is moms though Moms is a part of the circle to influence. Yeah, when mom says something is okay. It's listen to me I don't think A lot of people in america are ready to blow Fucking reefer smoke and their kids faces. Who's blowing reefer smoke? You understand what i'm trying to say. Yes, of course. I think you have a legit story for vice land

I think you yeah, I really do. Yeah, uh Why not? I I agree. I would love to do that. They're actually they I've talked to vice land before and actually and I and I think i'm pretty pro uh pro marijuana, but um, they Last I knew they were looking for a mom pregnant to to smoke up while pregnant on camera And even that I can't get behind like if I I can't that to me is uh pushing it a little bit for me And that's saying something But I you know, listen, I think like we were talking about in the beginning with you know, duis like it was moms that changed that

You know outlook and that's it was mad that got behind Making sure that we had duis moms really can change things if you think about like a lot of movements gay rights movement You know, it was moms that came out and they're like I accept my gay son And then you know what that changed pretty fast lots of people were a lot more accepting once mom said it was okay Two things real quick today. Please another question. I dread daddy. Why are those two dudes holding hands? How come are you and lead on hold hands? We do Okay, we don't fucking hold hands

So when again when gay marriage got put that came way before my daughter was born and the first people I thought of Were parents They picked their kids up at the park and two guys are making out in the corner and your son that's Five looks you in the eye goes dead Why those guys over there swapping spit Filled each other. I don't like pda. So I don't see anybody make out But my that my I exposed my kids that early too And listen, listen, I gay gay couples would what would babysit for my kids. Yeah. No, no, no, no

I had I my mom had the ball. We had gay people in there. Again. I'm not saying nothing bad What I'm saying In my mind there's people in middle america Yeah, that if your son comes home and says that to you, they're going to get a shotgun Yo, I'm sure I'm pretty sure they left the comments on y'all for me. What were you saying? Right. You know what I'm saying? I just saw two guys at the park Making out with cowboy hats on like that movie Broke back mount and also that father going to get a shot. Yeah, they don't even think about that shit

You know, there's people that are ready for this and there's people that are ready We can sit here and talk stupid arguments that have been beat up Like a fucking carpet They've been beat like a fucking carpet But we've Bought into it because we've seen it. Right. We've seen the changes. It's done. Right If do you think when I started smoking dope at 13 And going to shop right and stealing the six pack of hubba bubba

And going back to school throwing hubba bubba at each other That I amounted that someday myself and another woman That has a mummy's website. It's gonna be here talking about marijuana and the knowledge I learned From that early education as stupid as it sounds because I grew up in the 70s when they weren't really looking at ADHD And all these child symptoms that they look at today Do I believe in all these things? No

No, I believe that, you know, the same feelings you had when you had that postpartum They started putting drugs into you. Yeah, and these drugs You were like a city hit to a green the face. We both know that bad for you. Yep It causes a chemical imbalance in your fucking body and your fucking brain You know, I mean a lot of them are some of them are very helpful for certain times But now when you start eating 12 of the money, no No into your little skinny fucking frame and your mind and your husband and you have a child I was nursing my kid. I don't know what that's it to her. You just said you had a weird emotion

Totally, you know, these all things that, you know, I remember going to my doctor once and going I need an anxiety pill. He didn't give me Xanax. He gave me this other thing And as funny as the story is I took it. I don't like that's the weirdest fucking pill I've ever taken him away. But I had this friend like a zoloft or something. It was something. It was crazy I don't know nothing about zoloft. And then this shit was off the change crazy A couple weeks before that a friend of mine said I have an oxy con He would do an oxy. I don't know. I didn't he was I'm gonna give you a tiny amount of 16th over 16th over 16th It was just a little chip. I went home one night. I got a spot at 10 30

I popped this thing at like 7 30. I'm sitting there fucking eight o'clock Lee I'm sweating profusely like that night. I passed out in here from telling you the bloody story I started sweating profusely. I take my shirt off and shit the room started spinning out of camps on my spot and go to But I never eat something so bad. But the next morning, you know, I did remember The fucking synthetic feeling that I had in that morning And then I went on those anxiety pills And I started getting the same feeling and I had this friend's surgical love that did everything anything remember those Uh checks commercials when we were kids. What is it checks? Give it to Mikey Mikey. We got life life

It was like life, huh? Life is like one of my toes Mikey likes it So Sergio you can get many things. So one night Sergio used to say come So it's surgical surgical take these pills. Let me know what you think they have me duty He called me two days later. He was what the fuck were those things I threw the rest of the way and I started

Anytime I got a little bit of anxiety. I started smoking weed. Yep At that time I started putting it together Weed stores were opening. I finally went and got my license That's I'm gonna quit smoking. I'm gonna do this this this is And my own was gonna help me do all those things and I did Yep, no, I agree And today I could sit here and say this I never went to a psych as a kid. God knows I should the death of my mom the death of my dad

At an early age that's gotta be traumatized. Yeah You know But I gotta tell you something I think a lot of the years would cap me together And what gave me hope sometimes is when you smoke and you get that wind of creativity That's also a win the thought if you don't have a notebook And sometimes that thought will pick you up from a dark spot Because I know it did me guys. I know for a fact what it did to me

You know all those years I was in dark places prison When I got locked up they put me on something At first I wanted it to get high But after I did it like four or five times. I'm like, fuck that shit That's the shit they give to gorillas to calm them down and shoot after the circus Like a tractor ride A dart gun, yeah, oh my god And then I started taking them in prison and selling them for like 10 bucks

And that guy was smoking them. Oh, shit. Oh my god. He was getting fucked up It's like this little brown capsule It's under what's that thing when you do the shuffle People will do the something shuffle the morphine shuffle The something shuffle. This is the cousin to that pill and there was a little dosage The first night I ate I slept for like 16 hours I'm like, I woke up by like in the twilight zone. You ever eat one of those The next day I took it again. I slept like 10. Oh my god. Why did you do it again?

Because let's see what it takes. Let's see what this cave takes you Then I took it down again like the third night in prison And it was okay like that night and the next one I woke up a little nausea. I was like, I don't know about this There's one that had eaten codeine And uh in bold the colorado I ate some codeines to come down off a coke binge And I had the same nausea feeling the next morning So that night when they gave it to you again at seven o'clock I said should I take it? I fucking took it

And that night I got kind of high And I go, you know, I'm a nice man. I asked my buddy what it was and he goes, you don't want to keep taking that shit That shit's gonna make you dead dick You know, it's gonna fuck up your mind. You don't want to keep taking that. I go, you know what? It's not worth it But he goes, I know a whole fucking take those from me and it'll give you a high dollar this crazy white dude So I wait for the fucking doctor to come. I may believe I put it in my lip Once they leave I pop it out of my lip and I bring it to my buddy

And he'd give me like $7.58 The market price was and that was the end of that He'd crush it up and smoke those things. We have a huge problem with that stuff in this country. Huge opiates are That's a big deal Well, I'll tell you what where legal mal when states are marijuana illegal opiate emergency use Emergency room visits are lower. I read the this thing the other day and it makes sense

It makes sense to a guy like me But most people wouldn't understand that guy. They look at it as The devil they look at it and you know, they started using marijuana to help Patients and rehab come off of opiates like they're using it now as treatment It's been all the because I'm you know rehab counselors So I like stay on those threads and I think that's really fascinating and it doesn't surprise me at all either Because it levels you out like we've said it levels you out

Like if you have any sort of imbalance it really can I got xanax at the house I could eat his xanax I don't know how I could take two or three stars And there's really no difference. I'm looking you're fucking straight in the face Until you go home and take your xanax or your valium And you're gonna wake up tomorrow a little groggy and yeah hangover. I'm gonna give I'm gonna give you a star You know when you go home tonight, you're gonna take a bite of it You're gonna go like this tonight

Okay, just go out of the fucking house You're gonna go my uncle Joey gave me something tonight. You girls can't sleep here Go to your fuck go to your fucking father's house. I'll do it this weekend They're at their dad's all weekend. You take the first time. Okay. Let's assume. This is 125 correctly Yes, this is one. Yes, sir. So if I cut it in half It's 65 60 so if I like ate the corner, so you ate the corner one of these That's 35 milligrams

Right, I guarantee the next day in his xanax. You call me up and go Joey Won't you go on 60 minutes and talk about this again? Nobody would believe me. I need five world-class doctors to go on television and overthrow the fucking uh What's the adam? Well, it's you know, it's like it's it's oh, uh adavan One of the sleep aids aren't there three big ones? Can you imagine if the five doctors went on national tv and to listen people?

You could go to your pharmacy right now and take ambian and whatever the fuck it is Or you could buy these right here and take a little bite off. Well, they're not gonna say that because they don't make any money I got a quack, so you're always gonna lose that war which is a money war That's the war you lose Which is but it doesn't matter because you're winning your personal way Do you know do you know what the organization? Uh, kanna kids is have you ever seen anything about them? Oh my god, I hang out with them all the time. No, I don't Kanna kids is a mom a mom started another mom started a whole like

Thing she's working with all kinds of doctors and doing tests and stuff with kids with cancer using cannabis One more. Oh my god going deep. It's I'm deep enough. No, you ain't deep enough Lee you can't be deep enough Listen to me lee yate Four two He ate like six. He's on it six. Oh, he said six stars. Oh, no. I started with five. All right. What do you got? I'm gonna give me two. Oh, and then he gave me two I'm a man one more. No. Oh my god. I'm doing even 10. I just ate 10

I just ate 10. I did not Lee I've been eating stars here two of the fucking shot Why don't I lie for him? I gave you another star with the th We did the chocolate too, dude. That's what I'm saying. I gave you the star with the thc finger on it and shit But listen, they give they give kids all these like crappy medications to fight cancer But they've like held back on this don't you think that's messed up and if you saw research being done And you and you buy it and that like and that's the other thing Listen, you already talked about this, you know as far as like medic, you know

We showed that or we've talked about, you know cancer being helped by Uh by weed So like how why is it so like not that you're disagreeing but the people that have come at me about it? It's like if it might actually cure cancer and it helps people feel better from fucking cancer Is it really that hard to wrap your head around the fact that it helps me feel better? You know with anxiety and fucking post-partum depression because I don't think that that's like anything as you know next to fucking cancer And yet this is stuff that we have to like argue with about you know with moms not you but other people But you're seeing the light, you know

Okay, so fuck We're gonna put the kiss of death on yourself. You know what i'm saying? Let me read some responses and we'll get the fuck out of here and we'll wrap it up I'm happy you came on Thank you. I want people to go to little mamas. I want people to follow you. Thank you. I think you're very interesting I think that uh, I get where the fuck you're coming from. Thank you. It's just that uh You went on a liberal mom web page on election year You know and all the bullshit that's going on and you just crashed their heads and it's like if I

What you did to people was pull the plug out in las vegas Las vegas would sit and go what happened to electricity? Fucking uh, celia Pulled the fucking plug We also just endorsed a cannabis farm, which was a big deal for a mom blog to do People are not ready people become believers one by one again. You don't see me jumping up and down like johnny mcdougall But i'm telling you that I see it in different people kids came from new york Just as big as I am went to jujitsu went there for a whole week

I became friends and i go really if more than that and he goes yeah He goes I quit my fucking job And I went to san diego And I fucking worked out six days a week and it's been great I go you're a big guy six days a week and he goes man. I came out here and discovered cbd all And he goes i'm not a sore anymore. I could work out. He goes in fact I bought a bunch of bottles to take back to new york with me You know, I know that when

I gave up Edibles for lent this year And it helped my reefer But the cbd all felt a lot better also In fact, if I spray three or four sprays at night of cbdo, I get a little fucked up at night. I'm not gonna learn nobody I mean, I don't see the devil I don't want to you know, fucking jump out of window But I feel a little wheezy. I gotta go to sleep if I wake up in the middle of the night

I'm gonna have insomnia. I go on the computer room. I put the youtube on with music. I put a notebook out I spray three or four those cbd. I smoke a little bit give it an hour I can't believe you can do all that but dabs turn you out like you're not I don't want that shit in my house Listen, do it in here. Listen. Listen. No, no, no. This is my office. I'm not gonna get my fucking car And come all the way over here to get high. No, no, no, like I talk to you. I'm a really traditional type dude You know, I know I kind of love that we have to argue about this. It's good. I gotta Uh

Once I can't roll it Once I can't I don't want to be involved with That blowtorch ship That shit scared the fuck out It makes my wife think about things. She don't need the fucking thing about I hear that kabeesh Yeah, my life is dedicated to my wife. So there's no jump because if you have a happy wife You have a happy life. You got a happy life. You keep them happy. They don't see blow torches in your fucking kitchen You know, she don't wake up. It does. It does really look ridiculous. Shit. Yeah. Yeah, my wife

I don't need my wife does any of that. So no my wife does me something that She does for me because she loves me Because she knows that I'll fuck it up if I do it But once every two weeks I look at my wife I give him my pipe And my wife looks at me. I go, thank you. She does something with it An hour later it's in my bathroom spotless on top of a paper towel I'll see you in an hour later. No, thanks for the pipe machine. Oh, yeah

And that's it. That's the only thing she'll do for me. Your wife a lot. Yes. No, no, no, no My wife is cool as shit. So she really is. All right for me to keep that I can't show up in my house with six motherfuckers With a blowtorch and bring them in my yard for no reason. No, no, no, no, no, that don't even it's fair That doesn't even come close to my world like my wife does it For the record and before people send me hate mail. I don't have a blowtorch or anything like that in my house either Whatever the fuck they show up with the rocks and Listen, if you got to take more than the bongan I gave you tonight

You need heroin why fuck around with a rock right? Why are you fucking around you're trying to tea? Listen, stop not gonna I don't fuck around if you show up to the fucking cars of udu Where we shoot this fucking place out and I have reefer here. It's fucking world-class reefer I have to come see you live now. You came uh, I am Celia fucking beehaw aka beehaw aka Over at littlemamas.com and shit Fucking putting it together for you again. Don't forget

I'm gonna talk to you people about something father's day's coming. You know, I was joking around and shit about your father's asshole before I don't know if your father's asshole smells. I'm just using particulars I'm 54 from time to time to time I scratch my anus in the middle of the day and I sniff it because I'm curious And I know it's got some whang to it and I immediately go to the fucking uh, hello tushy And I wash my asshole I even bust out soap from times and put the fucking Towel in there and mix it all up and get the brown eye clean

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Ba-da-ba-boom. So after you take on a stomach here or after ladies after you get a little stabbing And he shoots that little fucking techno glue in your monkey. You know what I'm saying You you you get that love plasma and that fucking skunk of yours You went out three nights this week and got three different cocks What do you think that whole smells like you think that's a that's a pleasantry for anybody? Thank god this last guy had a bidet You could just crack that cricket put that water in it Throw some soap in that motherfucker and ping-pang. Boom. Your monkey's back and shit

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50 off items in their online shop and access to exclusive members only free shipping and size exchanging All right, do me a favor go to 5-4club.com right now And at the promo code joey and they'll give you 50 off your first month's package plus a free pair A sunglasses who's better than you? That's 50 off your first package at 5-4 club Spelled 5

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Stylists are experts. All right. Do yourself a favor again Go to the 5-4 club right now and at the promo code joey They're gonna give you 50 off your first month package plus a free pair sunglasses Who's better than you? Let me talk to you. But real fucking quick, right? Listen, everybody talks about sex and loving you gotta elevate your underwear game to the next level with me on these You've perfected your wardrobe, but what about the stuff not everybody gets to see? What is me on these? It's the most Seriously soft feel good on these delivered right to your door

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Just use our special url me on these dot com Slash joey and get 20 off your first pair. So go ahead buddy revamp your underwear game That's how we're in in the month. I want to thank Hello tushy dot com I want to thank the 5-4 group and I want to thank a zip recruiter For sponsoring the podcast tonight. I love you motherfuckers. Don't forget Thursday night flap is 7 30 I'm doing a workout 10 bucks

A notebook full of shit that comes in my mind when I smoke 52 joints and also next Thursday Bring it in proud bitches bring it when his whole madness started Thursday night Friday night two shows Saturday we're coming at you like a fucking Uh Big black kahuna. You understand me. Anyway, I want to thank my girl Gina bayha tell the name of the webpage again Gina seal you It's been a lot of joints. It's no no no. You look like jenna from miami vice

I'll take that the chick from miami vice. Uh, it's the lil mamas.com. Lil mamas. She's got a great blog Yeah, as you could tell she got balls of steel. I love her You know, she's making a statement ladies get on the fucking program Wash your pussy get hello tushy and that's it. I love you motherfuckers. Fuck. Yeah. All right. Wash your pussy Use hello tushy Thank you for having me Hiddily Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb?

You Mother do you think they'll like this song? Mother do you think they'll try to break my balls Oh Mother should I build the wall? Mother should I run for president? Mother should I trust the government? Mother will they put me in the fire red line?

Oh That isn't just a waste of time Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing She won't let you fly, but you might let you sing Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm

You baby You baby You baby Mama's gonna help me over the wall You Mother do you think she's good enough? Mama do you think she's in your voice? Tell me

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You baby You baby You baby You'll always be baby to me You baby Mother didn't need to be so high