Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #498 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: July 12, 2017

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio talking about why Joey is sick of fear; and how he has learned to combat it in his life.  Joey also speaks about a book he was given, "The Art of War for Writers"  by James Scott Bell.  The Art of War for Writers - http://amzn.to/2td9niv This podcast is brought to you by:  Lyft - Sign up to drive at Lyft.com/joey and find out how you qualify to get a $500 new driver bonus.    ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 07/11/2017.  

yo welcome to podcastville the church I was half of what's happening now is brought to you by number one zip recruiter are you hiring do you know what opposed the job to find the best candidates you know how hard it is to find great talent out there and how important it is for your business to get somebody who's reliable good smart that's why we have zip recruiter find out today why zip recruiter has been used by businesses of all sizes to find the most qualified job candidates with immediate results and right now my listeners can post jobs on zip recruiter for free that's right free just go to

ziprecruiter.com slash church number two listen to me and listen to me good when I go to the airport in all these little places I go with Lyft why because Lyft knows that their drivers are what keep them moving so they do everything they can to make sure their drivers are happy on every single trip join the right sharing company that believes in treating its people better go to lyft.com slash joey today and you'll get a $500 new driver bonus that's lyft.com slash joey today limited time only terms apply kick that motherfucking mule Lee the church of what's happened now here you go

old school I was telling Lee this song is fucking 40 years old kickingly I need this fucking speakers to blow my head what's with this fucking fact value give it to me give me all that you got three little hot black chicks in the background that's all they say give me love give me all that you got are you fucking nuts the church of what's happening now here we go give me love cocksuckers how you doing your host joey Diaz my main man in the co-host chair the one and only the ultimate the flying Jew of death mr. Lee

sciat we learned something very important today Joey now we learned something this week never to put a guest on here they can't handle another bull because now we're put in a bad position I didn't book all the guests a lot of people out of town but we don't give a fuck people this is one of those podcasts with a chit chat about a few things that have been on my mind lately that's basically it I got to go to st. Louis on Thursday I'll be at the fucking helium over there I haven't meant to st. Louis in two years so I'm excited man what do you get what do you do in st. Louis like what is a barbecue in st.

Louis I have no fucking idea I want to write jokes lifts and weights and do five fucking shows and I'm back on a goddamn plane I keep it nice and easy I do the same shit in every town you know me dog nice and easy no drama my gort my agent Gordon Warnock is a great fucking guy I've been talking to him for three years we still have made a dollar together and you know he's been trying to talk me to write a book for the last three years and I've started fucking six times and because of my writing insecurities and the whole thing you know it's it's taken years and in a way I wanted it this way I really wanted to think this out and

make notes instead of just rushing it like a fucking and give you guys the wrong facts and whatnot but the bottom line is last month I was doing really well on this page lit lift what I basically did was an idea a friend gave me that he said just write a sentence every day start with that that's what I did every day I would go back write a sentence then I got to the point where I couldn't wait to go to it and I would write a few sentences a day and clean up and I'd put together about two and a half chapters and last day last month one day I go to just right in there and the website is down and this one on

three or four days and my wife you know she's a fucking private investigator she went online and went to fucking chitchat fucking rooms and everybody was pissed that little if one out of business something happened little it but it took my book so now I got to start from scratch so to put myself in a position where I had to do this I'm hiring somebody from the month of 8 August and pretty basically I only have San Francisco and Ontario in the month of August so that's one week I have to be on the plane and for three week and a half weeks we're just gonna write this fucking the three or four chapters to

get in advance and to see what we have to do you know it's it's a good learning experience of both of us he's from NYU but the bottom line was that throughout this whole three years the thing that's driven me not to even send them the stuff is fear you know I'm sick and tired of dealing with fear and I dealt with it for fucking 30 years and then I started doing little things about it just little little things but anyway to get back to this book Gordon sent me a book I always get little emails from people and they send it to the web page and you know what man I know a lot of you guys are aspiring writers we'll just

talk with writers this week but this applies for everything you know he sent me a book called the art of war for writers okay now I've read half of it already but there was something I read in the inter fucking induction that I had to write down on a piece of paper because it fucked up me so much and let me tell you what this is you know he breaks the book into chapters so the art of war is for writers my modest attempt as a field manual for all writing wretches because I know how hard it is out there following Sun Tzu's example I'll keep the subject compact subsude under three main areas reconnaissance he wrote this the

section is primarily about the mental game of writing because what happens in your head affects everything else Dick Simon of Simon and Schuster fame once said all writers without exception are scared to death some simply hide it better than others that's the story of my life you know I've just hidden my fears and I've gotten away with it and I know a lot of you guys whenever we talk about the subject fear I get a lot of emails three four days later than now they understood what was going on with them and we haven't touched on in a while I totally I go Lee you know what I'm happy and get more and more emails from writers

and you know we haven't spoken about fear lately because this that little statement that a publishing company a guy Simon Schuster whatever the fuck they are would say you know all exception without exception have some type of fear what do you think is there a difference between fear and doubt like doubt in yourself they're cousins yeah it's fucked up they're fucking cousins and they and they come at you from two directions you follow me yeah it's different so once the fear is bad enough but then once he calls his cousin doubt into the fucking picture that's when you really have a problem and

that's what everything that's to do anything that's when I first started stand-up that's when I went to Alberto Crane school and drove out to the front and drove home the first two times that's just fear that's just something that you know and it's like it goes back to what we were talking about a few months ago this could ruin your life yeah it could ruin your fucking life and I let it ruin my life in many aspects but I don't give a fuck if my life is ruined in those aspects you know saying like I'm the type of guy that I won't go for a clock audition on the west side because I'm scared of traffic I've done that

traffic and I gotta tell you something that ain't that fucking bad it's worse in my head right I always call you and go I'm in the fucking car doing 90 I'm the 405 and all of a sudden I'm like I'm not gonna get home till seven also I'm pulling up at 530 I'm going how the fuck did that happen it's worse in my head and that's what we let fear do it's something that it gets worse in your head and then why you're doing it you're like this wasn't so fucking bad what was all that bullshit about what was all that bullshit about it's like when I go get a needle for years it was this fucking three days of drama following

it for a 10 second needle that's what all this fear was into yeah you know sometimes when we have fear we it stops us from growing it stopped me for fucking 40 years stopped me I was scared to know if I could do it or not and that's a horrible thing to live with whether I could do something or not sure I could do it but guess what if I can't I'm gonna give it an all New York try and I go back to this topic and I know you people like Joey we don't want to hear this I go back to jiu-jitsu and this fear I had a jiu-jitsu being on my back well I did there was like a two months ago in May I think there was a week after

going to a Bertol Crane's for a year and a half but I didn't go because of fear really yeah because I was jumping rope or something I didn't feel good and I'm like I can't breathe I'm not gonna go I didn't go all fucking week one time after going there for you that's how much fear affects my fucking life you know with the comic store I'm not scared to go to the comic store I just like to keep it to a minimum because I lived there at one point I don't want to get like that again but you still get a little I don't know what the word would be but you still get anxious or whatever excited for your stand up sure sure

absolutely but wait like jiu-jitsu for the longest time I had this fear so what did I do last month I got a group on I heard about this teacher I heard about this school and before I joined our burros I had heard about this guy and I heard about how clean the school was how he ran the school there's no timer in the school for competitions he doesn't really like competitive he believes in old-school jujitsu the basics and that's it so when I'm group on you know me I found the group on 29 bucks for the first month and I went down there just to try it out and last month because of that week I punished myself I forced

myself to go to jujitsu as much as I could I went 14 times last month what do you normally go eight oh Jesus okay I went 14 times last month this time so far this month I'm at six and it's only the 10th and I got all one next week off so I could go four times I found a new way to train I go to all burros and I go to the other place the other place is a little slow it's a lot more drilling there's only 10 minutes of sparring at the end but they work on a lot more technique I go there now I because of that week I missed in the fear I punished myself I punished myself that's the type of dude I am I

punished myself but I forced myself to go to eliminate the fear eliminate the fear eliminate this fear after a year and a half I'm still fucking scared and it was like acupuncture for the first two years I went but I was petrified the whole drive up there on a Tuesday I'd be fucking petrified and I forget that I had to go and I eat an edible and that would really send me into fucking Mars once I went up there so do you think with like the jiu-jitsu aspect of it were you trying to find almost like the like the root of your like basest fear yes because you could have gone and like under a riding class but you were like

okay I really don't like being on my back that will have did you think it would help everything else I would I thought it would help me in every other aspect of my life just to eliminate that little little fear that I had will lighten my aspect a little bit it'll give me more illumination and all the other aspects of my life my relationship my friendships what I do for a career how I am as a parent this just give you confidence like overcoming a fear is it like absolutely yeah listen fear is not being prepared once you feel prepared you won't have anymore fear it's so weird you know okay well fear all right let me tell you

something I got a I really don't like auditioning the last four or five years okay I really don't like it no more you know why cuz I can't see I can't see guys that reason yeah I can't see but what that means when you go into an audition you gotta either have glasses on mm-hmm or know the lines by heart I mean backwards and from which isn't always possible which isn't always possible but in after I've lost so many roles from not knowing the lines and going in there with glasses that I don't really like auditioning anymore okay it's not my strong fit anymore because at some point I gotta look the glasses I

always bring the paper in to keep me focused okay so I always keep it right in front of me to keep me focused so if I do get in trouble I could take a look on the sly the last couple months I haven't really been I got an audition two weeks ago just for this TV show I put on tape around the corner when they tell you to put it when you have no audition you go to the studio you sign your name you go in there's a casting director an assistant in the room sometimes a director you go in you read if they want a callback now that means you're going in for the second time or the third time the more times you go in

the more people are in that room so the second time you might go in is for the director and they might like you now the third time you have to go in for the producers the director will be in the room in the old days lead like okay we use the Sopranos for example okay when I went in for the Sopranos I went in for the initial audition bam did well in it once I went in the room with the 15 people I fell apart this is also 19 this is also 2000 I wasn't young as a human being but I was young as an actor I didn't really have all my acting jobs then I was okay I could I could book stuff I had books by the man too I

had booked a bunch of different jobs at that point but this was when I walked into that silver cup studios in New York and I saw all these people in the room David Chase and all these motherfuckers in the room my hands started trembling with the sides in my hand and I could have probably got that role but because they saw that fear what are they gonna do when they put cameras on and it's a $200,000 a day and I'm doing that for fucking an hour trembling or not remembering my lines that's I was a great character that I was great but I didn't I wasn't confident and that confidence gave me fear and that fear

didn't get me the role in the audition so going back to what you just said what about that audition where you're not prepared for was it just that you had just started acting what do you mean you said fear means you're not you don't feel prepared right you're not prepared so that's why you have a little fear if you have confidence you walk in there like you have the biggest dick in the room so what during the what made you feel like you weren't prepared for the subpoena at that time it wasn't that I wasn't prepared it was a little bit of unpreparation I was still living in doubt about who the fuck I was these

people if they find that I went to prison they're not gonna like me right you know that I think I'm a fucking kidnap or whatever there's some people look at life like that there's nothing you could do I just had all these little fears that all built up into one and when I went in that room I couldn't cover the spread that's it and I'm mad enough to admit it but after that I didn't really shake at auditions no more even when I met with for analyze that by the time I wanted to analyze that my fears had been tackled that what happened in that soprano room was not gonna happen again so for years I wanted for all these

roles whether I had them or not but it's like I told my agent the other day my job since I moved to this town is not to book the role is to disrupt the auditioning process okay what I mean by that is we were thinking about Lisa after this and if he didn't work out for this we were thinking of Alberto Crane but some fucking chubby kid from Jersey came and Joey Diaz and knocked all our thoughts fucking aloof because now and nine of the ten I wouldn't even get the fucking role but it didn't matter I had fucked up the podcasting process because when you write a role you already have somebody in mind for that role as you're

writing it you see somebody and then when you go in the casting thing in the casting world you have to see three somebodies just in case so now you're like okay he's coming in he's coming in depending on the read but now they see a fat little comedian that's coming in for a drama show and he's right there with the two guys that was always what I was going for disrupt the process so he could put my head shut up and go what are we gonna do with this fat fuck what the fuck I'm gonna do with this fat fuck and I got really good at that for a while so would they give you I mean I know you've said that a couple times sometimes I got

the role sometimes I did but would they give you like you just said would they give you a different role maybe sometimes sometimes smaller but now you're in mind okay you're in mind while they're shooting you're in that mind you created that with them did we do the right move by not hurrying your days oh that's a disruption that's a disruption you know you gave it everything you got you went into three reads you were right there with everybody else but there's different things to act acting maybe you didn't have enough Twitter followers which is very important today yeah oh my that's crazy you didn't have an agency

that fought for you maybe you didn't have a manager that fought for you and called them up and let them know who you're with and what do you do and you know there's so many variables so I'm not I'm never mad about those auditions the whole moral of this is fear now sadly when I was in Vegas I you know I woke up and I went for breakfast I smoked a joint and then I went for a little walk and I came upstairs and there was a thousand fucking degrees and I go upstairs and I got a show at 7 30 you know what man I'm gonna work out before I work out I'm gonna take a fucking nap and I tried the nap but I could I was

charging the phone like in the living room I could hear the phone buzzing and I heard it like four times in a row and I go who the fuck is trying to get a hold of me there was my agent on the Saturday and I go what the fuck does he want he was like I'm Hawaii or something and he goes hey man you're going in to read tomorrow they want to hear they want you to recall go for a callback he goes do you really want to go in for the Sunday and I go fuck yeah for that thing I read that TV show so I was thinking about how how I would have reacted ten years ago maybe 15 years ago today I looked at the sheet and the director was

Ben Stiller and that's what was meeting with oh shit so I was like fuck I gotta go meet with Ben Stiller now let me tell you something you have no idea how that could work what do you mean on what aspect you might go in there he's a nice guy so he relaxes you as a director you don't get caught up because it's Ben Stiller and you lay the read down you might also go in there he might be a dick you might get caught up with it and the fail you know that's what I used to do 15 years ago yeah even before you when you just go through every scenario when I put my when I broke the audition down it was two scenes but the thing I

put in the top was Ben Stiller of the page because I didn't want it to be a shot when I walked in the room and it really wasn't a shot when I walked and he was sitting there reading some fucking paper with some chicken two bicycles in the room and he goes I'll be right with you came out he shook my hand the other dudes and he went in and then some chick came out and brought me in there and when I walked in I could feel the anxiety level getting ready to rise but I wouldn't let it was like this ain't shit I'm just gonna read for this guy that fear was ready to start coming up and I just put it in this

fucking place but I put it in this place because of the confidence I didn't put it in this place because I'm a fucking tough guy I put the fear in its place because I was confident when I went in there the time I got off that plane I read those sides I printed those sides in Vegas and I fucking yellowed them out and everything so Saturday night I went back after the comedy show and I read those things for an hour over and over and over and over I read them without my glasses over and over and over and over on the plane over and over and over and over I got home I took a nap I got up and I just focused on that so

when I walked in the room I knew those lines backwards and frontwards with or without glasses oh shit okay there was one scene where I even wore glasses just to prove my point like if you're in this situation you're an old-time guy 9 out of 10 you got glasses so I even put the glasses on in that scene and he was like that was pretty good in the audition oh cool so in the audition I read it with glasses one time and with our glasses just to let him know I knew the lines what do you how did you put like the fear and like when you said you put the fear in its place do you have like a thought that you go through do you do

anything or is it just like a reaction now it's a reaction it's breathing it's a little bit of breathing okay reading through your nose real quick keeping your shoulders up basically it was the mental part of it I knew the material got you and I didn't let him throw me off you know I told the story on here once that when I got grudge match I went on the set and it was the first time LL Cool J was working with the narrow and the first two or three scenes the scenes were nothing they had to get cut because LL Cool J got caught up with the narrow look at the narrow and you're looking at his eyes and you're seeing Al Capone you're

seeing Henry Hill you're seeing whatever Jimmy Burke you're seeing fucking D Hunter you're seeing Godfather 2 it's really weird and all those images go to your head and just shut you the fuck out because I did the first time you see someone like a really big yeah and especially if you have to do lines with them like you have to do scenes with them in a movie or something the first scenes always a throwaway because you get caught up even Spider-Man 2 with that dude when I saw him all I kept thinking about was boogie nights doc doc right all I kept thinking about was boogie nights having that Chinese dude and I could feel

it overpowering me in the first two takes I couldn't even say a fucking word they might not even have that time but you know how we do how you do like the pre-church periscope with the guests and you talk with the guests to calm them down I was surprised after 50 years or six however many years of making hundreds of movies directors don't do that for like their star actors and just have like a get-together with everyone they're gonna have to talk with they do okay couple minutes they give you three minutes yeah three minutes and they tell you what they expect from you for this film and blah blah blah but if they

did what I do take them you know when I do that to people that whole thing listen you're my brother I don't ever want you to do anything for me when we're on the road I don't say get me water or get me a towel you're my brother get it myself there's one thing I do ask you to do for me and that's always go get the guests all that is psychological I go get the guests myself I do all that as a psychological way because you slow them down okay I didn't know that yeah you slow them down so if I was to walk out there they start with the cocksuckers and you slow them down as they talk to you and it's pretty funny the last

couple times without even people thinking I've seen I've told I've noticed you tell people sit out sit right there it's funny that's the whole system that's part of the whole breakdown to slow them down okay okay I didn't always thought out no I could go out there and get you right I don't I make them slow you down they're thinking they're gonna see me they see you slows them down you walk up the stairs you come into the back here you always tell them have a seat we give water that's all the process what they were they were thinking they're not thinking it no more okay it's like when it's like a mean you were getting to an

argument okay about numbers or a drug deal that you're not supposed to be doing and I go to Castellano's house not Castellano the other guy the Gambino okay Gambino had a wife that looked like a grandma so he would always make her answer the door because how no matter how mad I was she'd take the air out of your sales and then she'd ask you in and sit you on the couch and offer you coffee you never saw Carlos you never saw Carlos so she told you to go into his office that was done for a reason Carlos Gambino did that for a reason he made her answer the door for a reason to slow people down sit them down or from

coffee and whatever they're in a rush to tell you what's up leave what's on your mind that fucking cock sucking you stole my fuck you're not gonna say that no she just took all the energy out of you it's amazing how much thought gets put into this and like it doesn't like for me I'm just like oh yeah someone into the door it's all a game it's like when you go get a fucking condominium one of those time travels will equal time shit shit they have a different teams of people talking to you that's to confuse the buyer you know when you go buy a car like when you went to a regular place like bolder Toyota you dealt with

one salesman and a finance guy when you were to place like Douglas Toyota in the old days you dealt with six motherfuckers and nobody took responsibility for nothing okay and we said anything to get to the sale anything and when you come back I said well Lisa I get new ties literally working you know it's it's it's all you know in the old days if you went to the dentist okay the dentist at an x-ray looked at your teeth told you what you needed and then he fucking talked to you and told you how much it was gonna cost you no more go to the dentist now you're an x-ray it looks at your teeth he walks out some little

Filipino chick was in with a fucking piece of paper sits down next to you says okay this was needs to be done we need this this this this you gotta come up with a thousand dollars the dentist could tell you that why do you think she tells you that so you don't get mad at the dentist I guess it's just a bunch of reasons but that just started about 15 years ago the dentist was never like that they took a page of the salesmanship that's creepy I never experienced that until I moved out here yeah out here they took me out of the took me out of the chair they take you out of the chair sit you down and the

dentist is know what to be found and some fucking chick talks to you those are all tactics those all sales tactics I hated that it's fucking crazy it's crazy until you see them you don't when you find out the real heart of sales now you understand 90% of the world and how it works you understand when you see a pa a trailer for a film right and you see what they're trying to sell you and how they're trying to sell it to you when you see a commercial whenever you see things you see when you see a fight for the UFC like what happened today you see how they're gonna sell it to you only idiots have fallen for this fucking

thing really it's gonna be $99 to get in high definition paper view I thought more if you support this you're a fucking moron I don't want to see the press conferences I want to see nothing no not even a little bit another thing nothing there is no part of this sales joke that I'm getting from these people there is nothing that impresses me from this and I see it coming down the pipe I'm working that weekend it doesn't fucking matter to me I'm not canceling people have asked me if I can host a party not at all and I guess I was the if you because if you don't if you watch any part of it then you're buying into

it you know you kind of have to just say no just say no I kind of want to see who wins though you'll find out an hour that's true and you'll save a hundred bucks and you won't be part of the fucking general population which is the most important thing why why is that so important because you don't want to fall on that gap ever it's so funny when I used to work for Curtis Slote part of his pitch was you know Curtis in those days got his information when I work for a sports service Curtis got his information you know from different people and he had different scouts and whatnot but one of the biggest points of

information was what we give them at four o'clock we give more call sheets and he'd look at what every sucker bought into and then you learn how people buy into stuff and why they buy into it the end of the Colorado Sports Advisors speech in those days when I worked there was okay Lee you don't want to fucking work on me don't work on me who you bet tonight fuck off and you go I got the fucking nicks and I got the nets the smart thing is for me to call you up and go hey no no not even call you up when I have you there I'll go listen one of your moves is opposite mine and I'm definitely coming in I got a five

star we'll talk tomorrow and I'll hang up my moves were an opposite yours I don't even know what you know what I am and one of them is gonna lose creating a doubt sure if you're like the general population you're gonna lose one of them yeah at least both of them oh god so that's what I'm saying to you the GP always loses why would you want to be a part of that that's how they make their money by the thought of the GP and what they think you know you bet New England for the Super Bowl over Atlanta not because you're a fucking genius but because you're a fan okay you didn't bet them because you looked at stats and

all this shit you said Atlanta's in the deep and no you know you bet them because you're a fan it's the people who bet Atlanta for the fuzz it's the the sizzle they always tell you a marketing to sell the sizzle not the steak so that mean like the most listen exciting aspect what's the special tonight Joey I got a nice 12 ounce New Year cut I make with mashed potatoes fresh mashed potatoes with butter and I'll give you a house salad for 1595 got okay what if I said let me tell you something I got these things that just came in for a moment all the fucking cow was an Olympic running okay okay number

two I just had one of those steaks Lee and when I came off the fucking thing with some mushrooms and some onions you could smell the seasonings and the fucking meat that meat with some mashed potatoes home whipped with butter and I put a little red onion in there to really sizzle it I got these tomatoes I got the understanding the salesmanship of that right yeah I'm building value and everything along the way okay you know when you get in a car with a good car sale don't even sell you the rear view mirror look at that rear view mirror look at that it's sturdy you ever push your mirror and it falls off yeah yeah this is

sturdy feel this I can put a gorilla on that you know I'm saying we give you a mirror we don't charge you 15 it's a $50 mirror but that mirror is never gonna break you saw that look at that ashtray look at that fucking ashtray it's beautiful you could fit 2,000 pennies in there or 55 joints they put value on everything okay gotcha that's a salesman along the way so what do you like it how do you take that and put that into your writing or or you're acting like do you take those lessons that you learn always like if I'm talking to a potential sponsor or something I always dope it up a little bit it's not like me sending you an

email like some dope to another dope you got to dope it up a couple different type of words in there when we you know we talked yesterday no when we spoke yesterday briefly you know those type of words give them a different of the type of person that you are even though the fucking puke and I got felonies and all that shit it just makes them feel you know all those little words not when you describe you I went to this restaurant it was amazing I'm talking about from the sales aspect of it right you always say like the $10,000 $10,000 project with a $10 presentation yeah I'm gonna sell a $10,000

shoes right okay it's because the doubt thing is my is the toughest part for me I think I don't think for me and we the other book the War of Art talks about getting in your own way interference well there's resistance resistance and there's doubt yeah and their cousins too oh doubts the worst one I think that's the worst one mixture of resistance I mean everybody who listens to this podcast I say 50% of the people struggling to find who the fuck they are mm-hmm and part of the reason why they never found out who they are is because they don't let themselves find out who they are it's that doubt that they'll

find out the truth same shit I did for 30 years when I was snorting coke I didn't want to know what I could become I didn't want to know even though the fucking reports and the prison and so I could do some in my life I didn't want I was scared shitless what if I do do something with my life then what then I gotta get you know I had to give up my little party and I finally give him a little party and I could look at myself in the mirror and I got a little bit more confidence and you know it all goes hand in hand it all goes hand in hand Lee so doubt resistance you know it's levels it goes from doubt to should

I'm not gonna fucking write it right anyway to it goes from resistance to doubt I'm sorry we were talking and it's a overused topic on all podcasts now like the how people are mean online and the thing that got me over it and the thing that that is really the worst part about doubt for me is I'm meaner to myself in my head than anyone could ever be me to email me to like it's like it's terrible me too and I've been mean you know when I have doubt I look at the doubt I look at the reason I have the reasons good enough I let doubt win but so many times doubt has been so fucking wrong in my life that I don't let it

affect me no more see look like looking back and even now like if someone asks you for advice or me for advice I can see them looking at things the wrong way like their brains just getting ahead of them I have a I have an issue with myself I don't I don't think I see see that in myself my brain it just goes and I let it go and I don't see I don't I can't see it from the outsider's perspective in which way and oh well no that person's not mad at you or this idea is fine or or you're doing good there or like whatever it may be how everyone talks themselves into like hating themselves or thinking that the

whatever whatever it is when you can see that in other people I can't see that I can't talk myself out of it I can't look at the reasons be like oh no doubt being stupid there you've put in the work or you did this and that I just always assume the worst the mental decision is the toughest decision to make because that's the one that's my control everything okay I don't know what switch I hit when I stopped doing blow but the mental condition once you don't allow it whether I stop smoking cigarettes or stop doing blow or stop drinking diet soda or everything I let go of through the years doubt always said

it's not gonna work out for you right yeah you know doubt that you make of your life without fucking diet coke come on how you gonna eat a fucking hamburger you know when it was cigarettes is how you gonna smoke a joint not chase it with a cigarette when it was cocaine is how you gonna have a good time you know it was all these things in my life that brought up to doubt you know doubt always is lost in my world today I have doubts all the time and the more the doubt the more I have to do it the stronger the doubt the more I have to do it you push yourself to do it push yourself to do it because that means if you push that

doubt something good's gonna happen you think so I know so I know so for a fact I know so for a fact you have to think about things like when you go with anything it's doing it the smart way and to learn to do something the smart way you have to do it the wrong way for a while and that's what people never realize that to do something the right way you have to do it the wrong way for a while and then one day if you're fucking it might take six months it might take six days it might take six years you as a human being like myself would say this isn't working this isn't working it doesn't take a

genius to know that this isn't working right I'm happy I caught this in the six-day you know and let's use it for a count I could use it for a common example I could use it for the podcast mm-hmm we started in the morning for a while and then it just wasn't working it wasn't working for my health right it was four or five days a week I had to get up at five four and go to bed I would tool it just wasn't working so we made a constant decision when for a year for 14 months I went to Alberto crane jiu-jitsu and I went with the riding tensions but I went for the wrong reasons I was doing stuff that was

wrong why were you going I was going just to breathe and by breathing and laying on somebody I wasn't doing anything for myself I got involved I started doing the drill classes I started doing the tech tech fit classes and I thought about something and I thought of it just like comedy and there's like no good deed done goes on whatever punish yeah you know when you do something good for yourself something good's always gonna come from it okay now or in six years you're gonna see something I read something and it said I was training dumb I read something online and as I was reading I'm doing it wrong I'm

fucking up and I switched it around and it worked out you know and let's look let's talk about the workout okay as I added stretching I added ice bags I added CBD all to my training I added a lot of stretching to my training and I added like today I rolled twice I could have rolled three times I rolled twice I took a breather in between because that one roll my it's the law diminishing returns I want to come back tomorrow right okay so now instead of working on three days a week don't you get to in struggling being sore walking around oh I go four times like nothing happened I do the same routine I come home I

put an ice pack on my back while I'm writing down the moves I learned the ice pack is on there 20 25 minutes I go through my computer my notes we mail me who I send you stuff print this for me brother I put that down I eat I take a shower I rush I wash all that shit off me that I eat it's a process then that bag is freezing now I go do two or three more errands I come back at four and I put ice packs on my knees so now the next day I'm more refreshed I started doing a little more and cutting back a little on some areas and now I get to get more pleasure out of it and I get to improve more because I'm going more very

interesting they're sitting there and going and rolling four times with four gorillas and then going home and while I'm eating my fucking body shaking fuck no that don't happen no more now I go pop up up up up up bing I'm ready to go because I have a different effect to it that's what happens after a while it took me 14 months I'm sorry I'm not a fucking working out good rule I don't know about this stuff but I read you have to fucking read you're very in some way you can be very set in your ways but anyone can but I was thinking I was about to say that but thinking about it you do try a lot of stuff you have to because for

years I wouldn't try a lot of things and I would go I know because of self stupidity or self whatever I wouldn't try anything wouldn't try anything and now there's not a day go by that I don't try something I'm 54 I threw half of my life away I do this podcast for various reasons but one of them is for the young listeners not to do the same mistakes I did yeah I go to yoga yeah I'll go to a fucking ballet class if it means I'll recover more and I'll get something out of it you have to try shit right well and obviously you don't want people to go like to be a criminal or like that do that but you like you just said you don't

know how to do something the right way until you've done it the wrong way yes so don't people need to make some of these mistakes absolutely okay absolutely you have to make some of these mistakes but you could avoid some of them also you could avoid some of them by thinking it out a lot of mistakes I did I let addiction push it a lot of mistakes I did I let my insecurities push it not a lot of the people I listen to the podcast have the same things that I had going on no and I don't have the same things they were going on we all come from different backgrounds and different walks of life

but fear doubt and all that shit hits us the same whether you're black white black you got two good parents you got one missing parent whatever we all have those same fucking little insecurities you know today I went to our cranes and he's having an in-house competition this week and after the last two months I really I made a commitment to go to Kansas City but if this wasn't and this was a couple years ago I would have cancelled Kansas City really and done that in-house competition on Saturday and I'll tell you why because I don't want to compete at all but this would be a fear and like I told today there's a kid

that really takes care of me in jujitsu he's a really good kid okay he's a very good jujitsu player very good he works hard he's there five days a week he lifts weights he's dedicated but he suffers from kind of the same shit I suffer from social anxiety when you wrestle with somebody part of his isn't the breathing it's the anxiety that you're gonna get died I don't know but you're gonna get beat up or something we both share those same things so when we roll together I could see that he's looking in my eyes to see if I get an anxiety attack or whatever he cares you know and so to that pull them aside like

are you doing the competition on Saturday I don't think so I go listen man you're here with family even if you have an anxiety attack you're here with family nothing bad could happen to you it's like you're in Orange County and have an anxiety attack in front of 400 people here with your family the reason why I go to Alberta is because it's their family if I get an anxiety attack and fall backwards I know Alberta's gonna take good care of me right he'll give me mouth them out put a finger my eyes on my chest whatever it needs you're with family you know I'm saying people ain't gonna be scared they know what your

ailments are they know they watched you breathing for last year they know and even Alberta appreciates what I've been doing lately I go I take the middle one that I end with one that I stretch he's like bro that's really good that you're doing it from that perspective it makes you come in here an extra week what do I give a fuck you know you learn how to work smarter when we've been doing the podcast right we've learned how to work smarter that's what people do but by not doing it you're not gonna have a learn to do it correctly okay and these all go back to fear and doubt so I was telling this kid right now I said start with

this competition sadly here right here if something happens you're here with us we got you we put ice on your neck we get your fucking house I eat and we sit with you so you don't feel like that will help you breathe and he kind of looked at me and he was like maybe and I go if that works then not even a mile away there's another competition next month for blue belts blue belts that's it at V back up the corner if something happens to you we'll all be there it's a Sunday 11 o'clock I'm home that Sunday I'll be there I want you know I'm saying so you have to help people also you have to let people know that the people

also have to let people know people who have anxiety like me are very ashamed to tell people that have anxiety I'm not ashamed especially from Winston but I've told the world we've spoken about my anxiety on this fucking show a thousand times before I go on stage at the wool turn there was a short period there I was really getting fucking anxious like a motherfucker and do you think it has to do like something with how you like you look at it by yourself feel like being introvert because for me even just the thought like even now when I say like I've said a bunch of times I wish I had more friends I like to hang out with people

there's times that I get very nervous just at the thought of like because I'm so used to being by myself and being a being handling it by myself like the thought of being around a lot of people like that kind of freaks me out too I get it I get it in 2001 I started booking movies and shit and I would get invited to the screenings okay the staff and not even the big screening with the stars oh the cast the premier the cast and crew yeah I wouldn't get invited to the premiers okay I did this movie called American gun with James Colburn I did another guy did a few movies that were just one scene two scenes so I would

never get invited to the premiere okay was I upset no I just didn't like it but I learned something from going to the cast and crew ones I was getting just as much anxiety at the cast and crew ones as I was at this premier so I stopped going to cast and crew ones when I went so like I went to that I remember that James Colburn movie they fucking hated me really they got mad at me for cocaine and drinking I was asleep you know what man at that time I wasn't even snorting and fucking you know it's just amazing how you get blamed for fucking everything they thought I had gotten in booze or something I was smoking dope on

the set but it was a it was a midnight set everybody was smoking dope I was young I had just gotten here I didn't know that monkey see monkey do I saw people get nice I get nine I got the blame you know what these motherfuckers did they caught me so bad from the movie they just show my hand giving the somebody the gun like that's how much they got pissed at me but they still invited me to cast and crew and just the anxiety of me sitting there waiting for my role to come up oh was brutal when I didn't see my face but I heard my voice I was so fucking happy most people would be upset cuz they got cut I

was so fucking happy cuz yeah oh my god then there was something else I did where I went with my wife we did the whole day thing it was at one of those fucking directors places on Sunset the cheap ones not even the real good ones it's got let's call like Harmony Hut I don't fucking know they screen little movies dead 90 seats I went to one there that this movie was so fucking bad I was ashamed to even be in the movie but was more shameful is how the fucking actors were acting this was a fucking thing off Sunset nobody went to see it there wasn't a person from the industry that mattered in there these people thought

they would have cast a fucking glee oh no they're hugging and kissing I was so embarrassed but when my role came up Lee I ran the fuck out of that gun breed that's the first time I heard that I didn't say nothing nobody okay and then I did something else about a year later and this one was like like a medium big one and it was cast in crew I thought it was the one with David Spade I did and it was kind of cast in crew and I went in there and when my scene was in the beginning my scene for four or five movies do you remember I went on a role of the first scene right you said taxi and thing taxi analyze that and that one

with David Spade I'm trying to remember which one that was it's cool but I don't even fucking know it don't matter and that movie when I went to see that one with David Spade I took my head was gonna blow up Lee again I took my wife I took my head was in a ball and then there was a movie I did the mezzos it was about two gay mobsters and I was a gay mobster and I took a bunch of people to see that one and I ran out of the movie theater and how is it different for you like if you're a home by yourself is it that there's people there it's even worse at the house by myself so I didn't know what it was people would say to me though

you were sitting there and then you weren't and then you weren't what happened I just went outside to get there and they never really asked me and I never really knew what it was and then one day I was watching that fucking crazy dude I'll let him and let him and asked me no pirates of the Caribbean Johnny Dappin let him and asked him he goes so are you involved in the shooting process do you look at dailies and he goes no he goes what do you mean you don't look at them it's got all eyes dailies he goes what do you when the movie gets cut the first edit do you watch he goes no he goes what about the

premiere he goes to me he goes yes but I run out before my roles come on he goes see the line he was I can't stand listening to my voice and I can't stand watching myself it gives me a weird feeling and that's the feeling I get well the only movie I sat in the premiere and kind of enjoyed because my friends were there was the longest yard for me but when I sat there with my wife I got up when I went to the cast and crew with some friends from LA I got up the premiere in New York I sat with my friends from high school and it felt good I got up a few times and whenever I would come up in the screen I would

whisper in a frenzy to throw it off okay I don't like that none of that shit either that shit creeps me to fuck out Jack so like I was just thinking like it's kind of nice that almost I'm sure everyone even you who seems to be so like confident all that has anxiety and doubt but then I was just thinking about like the people who you live who thought they were glee do you think they have doubt and anxiety or are those kind of people just they don't know they have no doubt they're too worried about the glue the gluten-free bread on the table and how it's gonna I think we all have some form of doubt or I mean I still have it

Lee 54 years old been doing comedy for 26 of those fucking years and I still go to a spot to ha ha and I get nervous I enjoy that nervousness it's not I mean come on man there's a thousand people listen to this podcast I got a tweet today from somebody who's gonna get on stage I got a tweet yesterday from somebody who's gonna get on stage tomorrow night at helium for the first time you know I love to do an interview do a documentary and interview people who got into comedy to tell me the truth how long from the thought to the inception of getting on stage there's some people are just great there's some

people went to watch Lisa at on a talent night one of his employees and they signed up and they got on stage but there's people like me that from the thought to when I got up on stage two years three years two and a half years from the prison to the stage it was two and a half years and then it was a couple years taking like full do a full time he said and it took me another four to really get to read it took me to to get okay there you go it took me two years to learn how to work smart it took me two years to realize if I was gonna do this this is how it had to be done it wasn't working by my standards getting

on stage once a week was not gonna work and thinking I was fucking Richard prior that's not gonna work Joey and that was my first thought I had so many horrible thoughts like a lot of other people have I had the thoughts of excuse me the thoughts of being discovered the thoughts of just going on stage once a week and the thought of just doing an hour because it was just something you had to say and you were that funny all those thoughts that was the three thoughts I had going into stand-up and I'm sure when you become an underwater biologist or you become a plumber or you become a fucking engineer a

structural engineer there's things you thought about it that okay we're gonna talk about something neutral my sister-in-law Paula okay Paula went to law school with thoughts of the DA's office there you go okay she graduated and what happened no DA jobs why not they were fucking the nightmare there's lists thousands of me thousands of applicants and oh yeah when it was thousands so did Paula cave no you can't know now this is what most people had done what okay you went to college you're an intelligent dude how many people want to go to college get a DA want to be a DA they come out Paula

realized it after what 90 days all is not stupid she goes you know what this will be tough I'm gonna have to interview an interview again interview again and it might not be a la like I guess you told me one time that it wasn't for another two years yeah it's a weird it's a weird process and then you and I were talking here one day and we're talking about immigration like a week just dropping on her she speaks Spanish you know yeah and sometimes what you thought you were gonna do is not what you thought you were gonna do it's you really doing it but not just that field right I always thought I was gonna

be a stand-up really I never knew I was gonna be in a fucking movie or TV show I told you if I thought that one day you would become famous and go Joey you want to be an extra in my movie sure I'll fucking hold the fucking tomato at a supermarket I don't give a fuck cuz I thought I would only be an extra now I'm acting with people I've acted with well-known people okay did anyone tell you to be an actor when you moved here or did you do that when you're on the first manager I had said he was gonna send me I'm not addition I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about yeah I don't know what the fuck he was talking

about he was like the we know you're a feature act you only make 500 a week that's $50 if you go on the road okay frame $50 for me I can't keep the lights on but he goes commercials are paying I never knew about commercials that's how negligent I was to this whole art game out here I'd never even thought about commercials even though you see him every day of life right who acts in those it was filming television so I thought oh well you know I won't do any of us and I came here in February January and by the end of February I had the best commercial agent at the time because they all shift oh yeah approach

me and they called my manager next thing on a commercial agent I'm like holy shit and if I signed with them on Thursday I had a commercial at Monday it was Popeye's chicken oh I went over by sunset you know the Bay right two blocks before Fairfax okay going west there's an audition studio there that's still there that was my first commercial audition and I remember walking in there and there being 60 people and the back of my mind I'm like watch me watch my watch my smoke and me going up there reading the lines thinking I was cool for this commercial and I must have read whatever I went up there and thought I

was cocky and they were like thank you for coming and I called my commercial agent I did great I'll be surprised if I don't book I never had dick oh no the first ten of them were all the same I went in there thinking I was fucking Johnny actor and then I booked the real commercial like three or four months in after you learned how to do it well the commercial has to be right for you okay okay the commercial game the theatrical game of two different fucking games let me give you an example okay when I went for a mob role for a commercial I always wear a white shirt like a button-down shirt yeah like a white

shirt under the black suit okay the gray suit or the blue suit when I go for a movie mobster I wear a black shirt or a blue shirt you follow me what's the difference it makes me look a little nice and you don't want to look nice for TV no you want to look like a mobster for TV for commercials you got to look like a mobster but a little civilized they want you to look like that but not really okay so you follow me I figured that out cuz every time I wore a black shirt to a commercial I didn't get it one has said let me switch it around I started wearing right shirts to mafia commercials started getting it out of

a different patrol that's funny that you said that because I'm thinking about it I think there's this one commercial I was like a good draft Kings commercial a year or two ago where they're like talk to your uncle Bobby yeah I saw those guys every time I see that I'm like why wasn't that Joey because I'm looking at he's a white dude with red hair because I'll tell you why okay because every time they make a mob commercial the Italian defamation league raises their fucking head oh no so all those mafia commercials you see that run they always run for three weeks so that's why and like one commercial they ran they

complained and they said we got a Cuban guy we're not even attacking it so for that they played it safe they just want with a bunch of Irish guys right yeah or street-looking guys and nobody got their feelings hurt they ran the commercial they whiten the commercials up for why the politics yeah especially two four and Fox okay and ABC two four and ABC got to be by the book dog Fox a little different FX you could fucking blow your mother up and sell the commercial for a fucking bandaid but you know all those things the main four you gotta be here on the main today I did not want to act when I came here Lee it

was the last thing I ever thought I would do honestly even though I was very impressed with actors and there was a lot of actors that I grew up to that I grew up to kind of analyzing from Charles Bronson to Clint Eastwood and download Josie Wales just certain actors that I just really enjoyed I never thought it would work for me right when I came out here they dropped the acting thing on me and at first it was a little hard but then I realized I live here why am I not this is why you live here is to be on TV and film right I don't live here to go surfing I don't live here to go to Venice Beach I don't live here to

go to Gold's Gym I don't live here to walk around Melrose I live here to do stand up and now to act and now to write is it almost like when you first moved to you're still like looking for spawns and how you said work work smart yeah I have this free time during the day might as well audition it's like I was telling you you know when I first got it even though your pride doesn't want you to get a job I got a job right because I had a lot of obligations I had a coke addiction a child support you know you know I was living in a fucking car you have a lot of fucking you know and you know you can make money hustling

from doing comedy but what the fuck let me get a guarantee let me make sure I could bring home a nickel a week selling cigars or a nickel a week selling screws or a nickel a week it's time it's open time what are you fucking having way what are you gonna write in five hours your next masterpiece go make money and you can write this afternoon come home at one sleep at two hours wake up at three spots don't start till fucking eight o'clock and they go till midnight you can write till five but people have this fucking weird thing that now I'm gonna wake up in the morning and right now you're not you're

gonna smoke a cigarette drink coffee smoke a joint and talk to your buddies and throw stupid ideas at each other why don't you go get a job cover the fucking nut so you're okay you walk around like a human being and then everything's good and trust me even with the money I was making I was still walking around woman that I couldn't imagine not doing what I'm losing fucking doing at the time when I got that first commercial the first two or three things there wasn't a dime that went to me that all went to bills and debts and fucking God knows what else let me do some fucking shoutouts here

real quick Philip Rusty Basile you know I love you cocksucker Robert Paulie Tony Locasto Garnett honor check Christopher Jackson Ray Quigley Larry Hartley Eric to Rob to Robbie talking lamb my man took care of me this time in Vegas and super cherry I love you motherfucker don't forget about me anyway yes if there's any writers I've read half of this book already the art of war for writers by James Scott Bell fiction writing strategies tactics and exercises I read half of this book already and I'm blown away which means is I'm gonna read again now with a little fucking notebook next to me making

notes of this so this is so this is not the same one as the art of war no no that's a couple books to that okay people from the show have sent me the whole collection oh you know the art of war for this this is one that Gordon sent me I guarantee this is one of his clients and it's James Scott Bell the art of war for writers if you want you know like I said I got a lot of emails like a lot of Facebook message your message and lately I've been getting hit up for writing like what's the best book what's the best this you know man there's 20 fucking good books out there the one that got me honest to God was

on writing by Stephen King but that was me there was one I read some years ago I don't remember the ones I told you on this if I bump into something that's really really good I will run it through you on the show I'm also reading a book that Bob Llingus and his family sent me the three lives of Jimmy Page I'm fucking a quarter through that this book is as big in the Bible it's big in the fucking Bible so I'm three quarters through that so once I finish this so far what I'm reading my dick is getting hard so so far what I'm reading I like it so I'm gonna try to look up that author and see if I can have him call in and talk

about this is a good book the three lives of Jimmy Page I really try to read guys especially on these fucking planes you know what I bring a little notebook on the plane I never read on the plane I get one idea one crazy idea I tried on Thursday nights and eats dick I never tried again I can't write on planes when did you get into reading the 7th grade really that early no I'm lying to you when I went to Catholic school there was one nun who made you read a book and do like a book report every see that's what killed it for me and I would do like I did the godfather

okay Mario Puzo I did Jonathan Livingston Siegel for her I did I did four fucking books for her like the love bug she would make you read the book describe the characters and write what you thought of the plot typed three pages with a binder sister Anna sister Patricia and that was when I learned a little bit about books I thought it was a homework assignment right yeah but then when I went to Mr. King was class in the 7th grade the first time when you're still in the 6th grade the last day of school in the 6th grade before they moved me to the 7th grade the next day okay mr. King will come to sit tonight

guys go read a book go get a book so he would give you a book to read for the summer yeah and September 1 when you came back you had to have a book report on that book from the summer and the book I brought to him was Jaws the Jaws the first time but you had to do one once a month Jack Jesus Christ and you know what I just realized that that's when I realized that if you're not into something and you read it dump it dump it it's a horrible fucking read dump it if it's in your world I don't care if you tell me Joe I've read this twice it's the best book I've ever read it's like anything else some movies I like you

don't like some movies you like I don't like you know everything's not gonna work for everybody right but I realized that you really got to be into a book to really fucking sink your teeth like you know like I still know the books that have I wish I could become that's what my problem is that I'm a reader and when you're a reader it's really good for you if you write or it could be really bad for you because you try to compare yourself to those motherfuckers oh yeah but there's no way there's books I've written but I can write a fucking night with a crayon there's so fucking bad there's a ton of books I've read that are

terrible that have been done overnight you could tell but there's a lot of good books like fucking the what's the what's the one of the best books you know Kujo of course and you know and the one about Ross Perot and shit like that but one of my favorite fucking books ever was the movie the one with the chick the FBI agent Hannibal Lecter Silence of the Lambs yeah was one of the best books I read have you read the series like that I read Red Dragon Red Dragon Silence of the Lambs and that's why and then I read Hannibal no I'm lying to you I did read Hannibal I did read Hannibal before the movie was released or yes and I watched

well in fact Jeffrey today a friend from the Twitter said in a podcast listen hit me up and said he was watching the whole Michael Mann collection which means he was watching manhunter okay thief and whatever he did like two or three really good movies back-to-back look up Michael Mann on IMDb and from 79 78 77 Michael Mann did some heavy fucking shit man let's see here Jeffrey Collins hit me up today okay it's 21 Jesus all right but what was he doing 78 and 77 as a director right yeah 77

he did well his first movie was 81 was thief yeah cuz he started out then he did the keep manhunter was 83 Wow LA takedown the TV movie the last of the Mohicans was 92 he was 95 right before those starts we did so he did a manhunter and he did thief and then if you jump the television what comes up for him offered crime story oh yeah for and Miami Vice he didn't direct those I don't think maybe to wrote them or something they say anything on there let's see Miami Vice or crime story police story story he did police story from 76 to 78 yeah Starsky and hunch he wrote four episodes what else he wrote the screen

play for thief oh yeah Miami Vice in 85 he wrote one episode and then the screenplay for manhunter crime story and crime story he Ali he wrote that's later drug wars the camaraderie story yeah and the last of the Mohicans that's crazy the keep Vegas he did 68 episodes I don't know what that is that 78 and then he did that that horse show on HBO but it really you know that's irrelevant it's just so weird how I like I enjoy reading me and I fly man and you can listen to an iPod for so long right and you can fucking read a movie for so you know you go watch a movie for so long I gotta tell you something those books had

up those books had up I had to start reading them and I said fuck it when I got on the plane I know I'm not gonna be bothered I got about a good hour and a half read you know how much I could read in an hour and a half a lot you know and then you take a little breather then you listen to music then if you listen to music for an hour then you watch the TV and bam there you are what is it like reading hi I've never read anything even better I can't I would imagine even better my glasses on you get a little fucking diet soda you put your feet up you take good carry yourself and you read and you take your mind somewhere else

instead of bull but I learned Lee that I wish I would have done when I was 28 was learn how to take my mind out of the bullshit yeah how do you do that because that's what kills us that's what kills you as a human being when you let your everyday struggles go home with you at night and you absorb them and they bring into different moods and they leave for you the drinking or whatever but that's not the whole thing just that stress and that worry upon your brain and your mental state and your central nervous system it's not good for you you know and I could how do a fuck do you know Joey what the fuck after my mother died

that little thing I had of constantly thinking about my life and what was gonna happen it was wearing me out man it was wearing me out and whenever I've had those issues I could feel it that's what kills you yeah people say people have heart attacks from stress what the fuck is stress you know it's funny what our friend was saying last night he has to work three weeks a month to make the rent you know and it's like the guy said in fucking fight club you can't let the things you own own you when you start letting the things you own on you that's stress that's when you can't sleep at night how am I gonna make that car

payment how am I gonna make that high school payment how am I gonna pay for vacation how am I gonna do this you know this shit will kill you more than all those subjects combined if you really think about it because there's no debt as prison and I don't care how many binds you've been in your life you always seem to work yourself out you really do as an individual you really do nobody's better than anybody else nobody's special on anybody else everybody in their life gets put into two or three dark situations and you know what man you always work yourself it's like the man said you don't get what you want but

you get what your fucking motherfucking need dog that's so frustrating it's it's frustrating I don't know maybe it's just me but as a kid growing up even till like this I think that's what I'm struggling with now is like you grow up and eat you I just think there's an end point there's like okay you get to a certain point of success and then you can enjoy everything and relax and everything that I'm hearing and figuring out is that never comes that never comes at all so it's very frustrating if you don't you shouldn't it's not frustrating because again you're putting your head somewhere where it should not

be whatsoever okay it should not be whatsoever you know you know you're a good guy and I'll tell you what I'll fucking blow you out of the water and this is not to be funny or to be cute it's just to tell you where my head was at in 1984 which makes me 21 years old I went to the doctor because of blood coming out of my stool it had been coming out of my stool for about three months do you know why people because I would go to sleep worried I'd wake up at three in the morning worried and I go back to sleep worried and I got the beginnings of an ulcer they put me on that yellow medication and they gave me

like low-end whatever and but the doctor kept telling me to come in and talk with him and he was an old dude with white hair and he was right there so I go okay and he I know what his name is now guys I don't remember where his office was it was snowmass village 1983 it was the summer of 83 I was 21 years I had no family had a bank account with maybe $82 and a sum I lived in a two-bedroom apartment I was taking three credits a semester maybe six at a Colorado Mountain College and think about it I had no fucking idea I had no idea I had nobody I could call and say hey I can't pay rent I need $600 there was nobody I

had to make this every fucking month and I would sit there every month and sweat the month out and then sweat the quarter out you know even though I had a job even though I had a good way to get to that job every day there was no excuse like it wasn't like I don't have a car I had a way there was a way I there was a bus that took me right in front of the place I didn't have to walk the foot it would drop me off and I had to cross the street I had a job I had a place to stay at that time I was robbing a little bit I had a little put away but I was playing with fire that's a complete different story but all that thought I was wasting

at night I understood thinking back now I understand 40% of that thought it's natural but I was driving myself crazy I was beating myself up and it was just too much for that age and you know what that doctor those six weeks I talked to him once a week the blood went away and I never put myself there again I still thought but I never sweated it out like I used to till this day you asked me things and I'll tell you I'm not sweating I don't worry about it there's nothing to worry about it's going to either work your way or not and if it doesn't you'll figure out a way to make it work that's it that's all fucking

life is it's a few curveballs from time to time the big thing listen what's a fighter a fighter isn't somebody who could throw great punches or great kicks or take jujitsu really good it's somebody who could take a fucking punch to the head three times when people go and come back and knock a motherfucker out and win with his bones sticking out of his ear that's a that's a fighter what they catch a guy whoever yeah that's what we are and when people realize that see that's what you've never focused on you focused on that that does not never stop listen you're 28 years old all you got to focus on and your next next

Thursday's your birthday you'll be 29 years old all I want you to focus on is 29 years old that's I get okay my prom since birth I want you to focus on the 30 day the 90 day and the 120 if you need to get a notebook that's where you start next Thursday and every week pop up up up up up up up up and I do I write everything if I'm angry about something now I take the notebook I open up and I write the whole story out and then I read it make it what the fuck am I mad about I wish I would have known this when I was 29 years old I wish I would have known these things that there's no payoff and worry all I want you to do is

do think about how you're gonna do it and do it don't think about nothing else if you think of today that kid I tell you from jujitsu we rolled today right we rolled for a reason because I saw I learned something from him from watching him today okay that's why I told you it all starts with the mental you do a warm-up you learn a technique you drill the technique you get water and then you call breaking the guard where you get in my guard know you have to do is pass it if you pass my guard you get on your back then somebody has to pass your guard if you sweep them you stay on your back okay that's they do that for 15 minutes

of every class so I was watching him today and this kid has gotten so good that in his mind before you even click hands with him he grabs your geek he decides that you're not gonna pass his guard it's amazing to watch his face on what happens he just decides he just decides that's why I explained to him today that he had to compete because he's that good I watched the guy 30 pounds heavier than him almost passes guard and this kid opened up and held on to his geek and with his geek flipped over into the turtle position and then grab the guy's legs and took him down in his mind so if in his mind he could decide

that somebody's not gonna pass his guard and his mind he could go to a competition and overcome this little anxiety guys like I told him you can't go to the world's first you're gonna cave if you go to the world's first that's like if I go to Vegas next August and try to compete in the world's for the first competition I'm gonna cave and I'll probably quit jiu-jitsu I'll I run the rousy you just quit you get such a beating that you just quit and it's a shame that's what happens I moved a little too fast I would do competitions at cranes I would just go give me three blue belts I give you 50 bucks a piece

you know and I would start with five-minute rounds from A to Z the takedown doom and I guarantee I would lose all three fights okay I don't have a chance in hell I mean I'm telling you this because my breathing I couldn't fight three times five-minute rounds seriously speedy like that unless I laid on you and even then it's not gonna fucking work okay but I would to overcome that little bit of fear but I have I'm not prepared yet he is but I'd looked at him today and I go if you decided that people aren't gonna pass your guard you could decide to control their anxiety like when I was wrestling

with him I told him I have to stop for a second I can't slow down my breathing I've extended my time rolling but I still can't control my breathing when my heart beats like that I can't slow it down and that's what gives me the anxiety I've controlled the anxiety now I just have to sit there for a minute longer and breathe it out and just focus on my breathing and has the time so like when you start when you're rolling and you start getting anxiety to from that point to the point where you have to stop has that point gotten longer now to have you are you are you able to deal with the fear what it's doing is it's percentages

okay that's what I'm trying to say to you so I went from getting anxiety a hundred times 100% to now I have anxiety 50% okay because the more I go the more the anxiety will go down if I don't go if I take gaps in between my mind will let the anxiety grow so I can never let that happen before it grows I go down that bubble like today I was sore from yesterday but fuck it boom and I'll go again tomorrow before you know I'll go again tomorrow because I don't want the fear to grow by the time the fear shows up I'm already on the mat and I've already overcome you you follow me that's what I was doing the same thing

would stand up when I got to stand up I would get on stage once a week and die and then walk around like I was Joey bananas like I did great no you didn't know you didn't never go down there next week and die again even though I was getting on stage once a week okay I had to change up the seriousness of my game and and that goes back to what we're talking about the beginning that being prepared and commitment right okay commitment is cousins with preparation it is yeah totally commitment is cousins with preparation all this game is cousins you have to look at cousins it's all the same so commitment and

preparation they're all fucking cousins but preparation commitment in your mind like I saw my friend do today when I look to this face and that kid was past his guard and he flipped backwards he had no reason to he could hurt himself he could have heard his back and been off for six weeks he don't know that but he decided this kid wasn't gonna pass his guard just because of who he is and that is what beats anxiety belief in your mind you know how I know I'm living it you know many times I've gone to an audition walked in there signed my name looked around and seen people that I've seen in big-time movies and I've sat

down the corner and I go oh shit I'm not gonna get that well I just lost a war I could tell you six roles I lost because of that because I got intimidated by who was there one time I tell you when terminate the shit out of me Joe about a Foucault until I left and I go why did I just throw that audition Joe about a Foucault can't out act me and he can't fucking out comic me and it wasn't a big deal it was some fucking disaster of a game show or reality show so just that one thought it totally took you out of it well and that happens for everything that train of thought will happen for fucking will take you out of the game

it did me for years and once I started like I was telling Paul the other day before the fucking thing went south before the train went south I was telling Paul he sure that in my mind and I and I say this and a lot of people are not gonna agree with me they're gonna get mad at me or disagree I'm telling you people because I don't bullshit you motherfuckers I'm telling you that in my mind the training I got from the comedy store as a comic which is a training nobody could give you it's a club on the sunset strip you're on stage with celebrities and stars when you first come out here that's a weird fucking

world but navigating through that training made me a green beret of comedy I always felt that the comedy store comics were always green beret of comedy what does that mean we're not your motherfucking first choice you call us when shit goes south and we show up and they drop us out of a helicopter with knife in our mouth and two fucking fins in the school bar on our back that's how I've always felt about the comments to enjoy what would you say a dumb statement like that why because I saw it I saw people go in there that were mediocre comics become tremendous fucking comics I Ari Shafir I Joe Rogan

I Freddie Soto rest in peace the list go by Crystal Lee I saw a lot of comics that walked into the comic store mediocre comics and midway two three years somewhere it snaps and now you know your motherfucking mission okay the improv has their own style of comedy you've been to all three clubs right whether with Paula with me and everywhere has their own style of comics but the solid homies I'm telling you the comedy storm in my mind after like three or four years at the comedy store the beat now was taken there on a daily night again it's percentages Seinfeld said this and the Judy Carter book the more you get on

stage it's all percentages the more I go to jujitsu the fear will go down because it's all percentages when you get on stage as a comic first ten times you're gonna bomb second ten times you're gonna do nine you're gonna bomb nine out of ten third time you're gonna do eight out of ten and so on and so on until your percentages is 40% 30% of bombing I still bomb today 26 years of comedy I still bomb and when I bomb I love it because that means I got it out of the way and here I come motherfuckers I got another 90 days because the percentages get lower and lower I'm more prepared when I go on stage now even

if I get myself into a dark place I could navigate myself out of it and that's all based on just working committed six years yeah commitment elimination of fear 26 fucking years that I've been put in bad predicaments at all you know when you're a roofer an electrician a plumber all those trades and I can you do new construction like this people do new construction and there's people who do what's under construction like they come in remodels gotcha okay those guys do remodeling construction those guys are great when you do a remodeling comes out great and they come in at a bathroom or whatever all those things are difficult

guys the reason why you're paying them is your expertise of finding problems and overcoming those problems right like for example you'll come to me and go all this week and I put a house Joey I'm redoing the downstairs bathroom I'll say you're using the plumber and you're going no no no no no I went out I went online and yelp and this dude said to buy his cassette and do it all of a sudden meanwhile during your time right yeah you don't know what you're doing now you have to call the plumber and you got to pay him to do what you defa if you the plumber that those people those type of people come in new construction you

build I tell you to come in and build these wall 12 by 14 all the same that's what you do build me 22 of those 22 apartments that's what you do with remodeling and roofing like my brother in laws they were fucking geniuses late every time I went on a roof with those guys I learned something like I was sitting there everybody would say listen if you work with those two dudes watch them and let's know what they say it's the small details of their job that we're like when flashing flashing means when you run into piping and air condition is on a roof if you don't do those right they leak and it causes a

tremendous problem when you worked with these guys this shit never leaked because they did it and read did it and read did it they did that extra time that people don't do to get it out of the way but they faced any like when I worked at them I always learn something and other roofers would come up and go Jesus Christ these fucking guys are geniuses they were professionals they knew how to overcome obstacles right boy you do something you you learn how to over overcome obstacles one guy got a hand at the stand-up world there's one person that now I think about it and I gotta tell you who's fucking great he

used to put himself in dark corners all the time the reason why Joe Rogan's a great comic is because he used to put himself in dark corners either by following strong people or saying something on purpose to try to get somebody's attention to work himself out of a hole that genius move at a young stage in his career made him the comic he is today he threw his own obstacles of himself which I did we all do as comedians for a while because bye we want to try that's a tremendous fucking fight right there people had a little salad oh my

little protein shake that's what that sounded like a fucking fourth of July leftover that sounded like something popped a ball of champagne on the fourth of fucking July tremendously it was tremendous it was I didn't think even that was people he's gonna be heard but hey I'm sorry things happen alright if you don't fart fuck you he who do live in a glass house throw the first stone I'm always good let me ask you this because it sounds like you never get like that relaxing time our farts still funny at 54 like you still gotta have a good time when people fart in my world yeah how larious all right good for me

not for everybody else oh yeah well that's for me at 54 yeah if I'm sitting there at night watching TV and the two cats are next to me and I blow a fart they both look at me weird and I look at them like who the fuck is running things and one of them always jump off there's one cat that'll go something right here do you like angle it at them if they're sitting there well if my ass is pointed that way and those two are looking at me well a lot of people might just point it backwards or in into the couch listen down the couch that's a privilege it's beyond that this is what they're gonna have to deal with my feet

and my fucking there so you don't like it go back to the ASPCA and let them lock you up and fucking some other homo find you like me I'm the only fucking homeowner's got six cats because I fell in love with them let some other for today I was sitting in the kitchen and I'm making that fucking protein shake before I go to karate the jujitsu the fucking little water so I can drink it at jujitsu and gray comes in the black and white one the last one I got I adopted her over there at fucking up the corner from the office here and I used to play with her every day and then the lady downstairs the cat got attacked

one night like one night I didn't see it like this one on for like a year her and I had this little romance when I leave to do comedy I'd see gray and when I come back here gray would be waiting for me or I would go gray and she would come running from wherever she was and I had treats for at the top of the stairs and she'd walk up to the top of the stairs with me and I'd give her the treats and I'd pet her for 15-20 minutes and I'd go inside with my other cats and then at night in the morning I come out and there she was right there right there to hang with me and the other cats would hiss at her and shit and I loved it and

I remember one day she disappeared for a while and I was concerned like I kept asking my wife are you seeing fucking gray they go come on let's get in the car and I saw gray two blocks away and I go gray gray and the only way we can get home is if I got out of the car and she followed me home and the owner of the house is like I've had this cat for fucking six years this cat don't like nobody this is fucking crazy so when she got attacked by the skunk or whatever attack that she had with the hospital with the infection no she couldn't live back outside again so she came to me she goes yeah I'm either gonna put her in

the pound or give her away do you want it she loves you and I go no I'm taking it and I took great and that was how long and I'm looking at that she's gained 10 pounds she's clean she's happy I saw a kiss and Demi yesterday I saw her next to me and I saw Demi walk up to me in the office and they looked at each other but they both kissed each other she likes Demi she likes Harry she don't like super bad she's constantly attacking super bad she stays away from the girls you don't fuck with the girls they have a lot more rooms to like a Ted attack each other in the house yeah but she's on the couch constantly but it was so

weird how that little animal me like I was sitting there looking at it sitting there making the drink I shook it up I put the drink down I had no food to give her none it's like she was there begging no no no just came up to me and said what's going on I just woke up you know take a little stretch I wanted to say hello to you I bent over I pet her I picked her up and it's so weird when I pick her up and I put her in my chest she just puts a little head on my shoulder like she's thank you and I pet her she gives me about six minutes and then she'll make a little meow that means all right enough is enough cocksucker

I don't need this much love for me and I lead let it go down she leaves and I won't see it tonight and I could be wrong but didn't she get out a couple years ago and like escape like get lost for a while she got out and she went into the garage they locked her in there oh no and I was fucking cracked listen yeah I was cracked I couldn't sleep at night and shit I was ready to call the police I was fucking cracked and I they opened up the garage one day and there she was just sitting there and she ran the house and she's never left again she don't walk out that door she looks outside from time to time she

goes yeah it's nice out there tonight but fucking this is good in here I got a cot I watch TV now I got a little fucking toys I play because I play with them that night when I go home that's how I am one just a little cat yeah because mom is in bed the babies in bed and the cats are out one by one and once I get home the later I get home the more of them will be out like I'll get home now there's one up and they'll play with me for a little while the lady you get home don't be too you know I'm saying you get home like a midnight that's like three out and then from the energy you send out from playing with those

three cats the other ones come to life and they come into the living they got play with all of them they got take a brush while you're there see in category because dogs bark yeah no no no for these guys just purring you pet them it's like one in the morning you can feel the fucking energy in the room you're brushing them brushing them pop pop pop pop the next thing you know fucking one of them will swap one of them in shifts and then they'll be down to four of them and now I have four of my super bad Harry Demi and maybe gray and I'll be brushing that you know and that'll be what's left that's something happen with

Demi and Harry it's such a weird combination but now since I scratch their back they have those different pheromones what do you call them pheromones on their back now they're awake and now it sets that it's really weird unless you have a fucking cat I'm sorry I'm talking about fucking cats people I just haven't talked about the cats a long time I want we were talking about fears and shit like that listen anyway I'm gonna be in St. Louis Thursday Friday and Saturday night and then like I said July 20 night we'll be at the Borgata that's it and that's that I'm really sorry this week I'm about to guest when all this

shit happened you know and I couldn't recover but let me tell you some next week we got a tremendous week for you motherfuckers I'm happy that you guys still support us and you're still not corner we're here you know what's this the church of what's happening my motherfuckers we're here before we leave though let me talk to you motherfuckers about something all right that's important to me listen man you know there's a lot of things going on right now you know maybe you're looking for a job maybe I don't know I don't know what the situation is in your life but listen you can never have more enough money

lift knows that their drivers are what keeps them moving so they do everything they can to make sure their drivers are happy on every trip it's a simple formula happy drivers means happy passengers right you get in the car the dude's in a good mood he's talking to you you tell him open up the back window buh buh buh buh that's why that's why nine of the ten lift rides get a perfect five-star rating you can earn hundreds of dollars a week plus tips you want to earn more money right the holidays are coming believe it or not it's July but the holidays are coming you drive more if you want to earn more money you drive more if you

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passengers find their drivers so do yourself a favor join the ridesharing company that believes in treating their people better go to lift.com right now slash joey today and get a $500 new driver bonus that's lift.com slash joey again lift.com slash joey get yourself a little job and a $500 new driver bonus limited time only terms apply let me ask you something times are tough you got business are you hiring do you know what opposed your job to find the best candidate no you don't let me ask you something like I told you earlier in the podcast you know how it is to find somebody dependable I hit the homerun

with Lee here I hit a homerun with Lee you know how fine it is to find somebody dependable somebody would take shot with somebody you can trust somebody who was educated you know how important it is to run a successful business okay with zip recruiter you can post your jobs to a hundred plus job sites with one click then their power for technology officially matches the right people to your job better than anybody else that's why zip recruiter is different unlike other job sites zip recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you it finds them in fact 80% of jobs posted on zip recruiter get a qualified

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free go to zip recruiter dot com slash church again I want to thank liver zip recruiter I want to thank lift I want to thank on it and I want to thank most importantly you guys I love you guys with all my fucking heart without you I gotta gots all right I'll see you guys Monday ready a rock if not I see you Thursday night in St. Louis get ready a light your wig on fire we're going deep into the murky waters I love you guys oh by the way again the art of war for writers James Scott Bell thank you again for listening have a great weekend us

you know to get your wish La, la, la, la, la Oh, oh, oh, baby So, baby, baby, baby Oh, oh, baby, baby Baby, baby, baby Oh, baby Oh, oh, oh

Someone hold me With your shake, what you got And here you got a lot To do this on the job That's it, uh Don't make your heart Your heart And you really shoot your shot

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Oh, baby Oh, baby, baby Oh, baby, baby Oh, baby, baby Oh, baby, baby Oh, baby, baby Oh, baby, baby Oh, baby, baby

Baby Baby, baby Oh, baby, baby Gotta move, gotta move, gotta move Gotta move, gotta move, gotta move Gotta move, gotta move, gotta move Gotta move, gotta move, gotta move