Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #499 - Theo Von

Starting point is 00:00:00 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:01:30 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:02:16 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:03:12 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:04:05 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:05:20 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:06:40 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:10:48 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:12:02 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:13:18 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:15:50 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:18:22 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:19:38 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:23:22 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:24:36 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:27:06 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:32:04 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:34:34 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:35:48 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Starting point is 00:37:02 ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha animals they were robbing cars oh yeah sending them to iran and getting five thousand a car they were shipping over a hundred cars a week guys wow what out of container i can't believe

Starting point is 00:38:10 that this this guy's was savages these guys were street dummies and when you read the type of shit these guys did yet any of them just popping and see what it says that guy was the leader all right that guy the man knows fucking they hated him the fucking boss that again being those knew what he was but he was paying so much money every fucking week that he bought himself a fucking mafia card and then they just made him a captain wow they said don't even come don't even come around they went to the godly brothers and said you gotta get rid of this guy and they were like we don't want nothing to do wow like i was a straight killer this guy was a fucking savage the more coke he snorted the crazier and crazier and crazier he became but the fucking envelope

Starting point is 00:39:02 was so big he had a drug ring he had a car ring he had a fucking you know it was just an endeavor and so one time he he had a kid that he adopted the kid was jewish but he wanted to be italian so that kid cut a deal with some cubans there it is right there right in front of you the cuban had connections to the cuban drug cartel raising the possibility of violence between the gambino family and the cubans unless rozenberg was dead dealt with the male was ordered to kill rozenberg but stalled for weeks during the period the male committed his most public murder the victim was a college student with no criminal he was outside selling vacuums and the male thought he was a fucking cuban and he shot him and shit

Starting point is 00:39:53 yeah this was crazy but how they would do it lee you're ready let's go back to the apartment gotcha they come out with underwear they'd stab you in the heart shoot you in the head and put a towel around your head were their neighbors or no nobody knows nothing silences they owned the bar so there was no fucking neighbors there's no neighbors you think they're gonna have neighbors and do that lee i don't know you gotta think like a murderer bro okay so there's nothing thinking like a civilian they take you they drag you into the shower sorry they hang you right oh jeez they make the blood come out of you no they don't yes they do they drip the blood out of you for what for sorcery no no no to drain you listen to me while your body drains yeah they would go cook

Starting point is 00:40:34 what they would go barbecue and make pasta no they have dogs bro read the fucking book so take your mind off of it and stuff to know so let the body bleed out it takes a couple hours three four hours they would stab him in the neck and bleed him out they might as well then after they fucking ate they would go in the bathroom and take them down and chop them up piece by fucking piece and put them in garbage bags and put them all around so let's say they killed you in uh studio city they would bury you in culvert city they just drop you off where the garbage was coming to pick up and they put a bag next to the garbage or pieces you all over and now they take you to different dumps and never again they don't know body no crime so that's when they owned the dumps

Starting point is 00:41:14 didn't they they owned the dumps you're absolutely right you're a genius lisa and so there you go how many murders do you think were happening they said these guys did 200 that's what they know of oh my god dude that's correct because you know it's almost messed up it's almost more in a weird way more romantic than the way you get killed today today some you know some mooc just shoots you on the corner runs off you know there's nothing there's no backstory there's no side story there's no you want your death to be to be remembered i want my death to be something romantic almost if you if you die you know i'm saying like wouldn't you rather some beast part of something than just you know somebody runs up and stabs you in the neck or something well i mean the

Starting point is 00:41:59 who was the guy who stood in front of the tank that's really that's pretty good you could do something like that yeah but then you have to like stand up or something like what would you stand up for i don't know man i mean i i just want if somebody kills me i want to i want it to be part of like a bigger group thing or something where there's people gonna be kind of fired up about it i don't want to just be like with someone off some drive by shooting you know these fucking comedians will stick up for you they call the club don't don't the first thing these comedians do when you die when they hear it is they fucking go to fucking the over on dot com and see what you're gonna be at next week and that's the first email they're sending to their agent let me get those dates

Starting point is 00:42:39 next week and fucking uh and fucking houston texas at the improv it's true huh yeah it's cold out here it's cold out here to be a pimp dog it's cold is here when that dude was here when i first got here in 97 there was a comedian african-american kid supposedly very sweet he was doing colleges but he was raping chicks in the college you ever hear about that shit oh wait i did hear about this he was always at the improbably at the end of an hollywood he would do it every weekend vince like something you're right i don't remember champ vince champion you're right i've never met him i've heard a sort about him he's still doing 20 a life no parole no he's probably getting ready to get out or he's out because you should have him on i don't know why you want to open up a sore wounds

Starting point is 00:43:23 he doesn't want to talk about it that's probably true if he definitely did it and he seemed like he did yeah look up vince champion see if he ever got out of jail okay the story i heard goes joey that he they the judge sentenced him to 20 years and that he stood up and said can you light me at 15 that's what i heard how great is that it was cute that's all great and that's a joke he's he got the joke that goes along with him you think he did what he meant get fucked in the ass i don't when you go into jail for rape bro i mean i guess he did people find out i what he's a vince champion champion that's not even coming up comedian there you go he's jesus christ he'd fail the fuck how many people are named vince champion you never know you never know till you're being

Starting point is 00:44:08 the chef at the murder house leaves being the chef there you ain't doing the killing lead no he's not even on google the guy that we've been in jail since google even came out yeah the guy that was the chef at this house the male house his name was Dracula he was the cousin and he would cook spaghetti while you were hanging in the shower they got some horrible things they did like just like just to prove a point not to fuck with them but they don't do they have that anymore is sorry his release date is 2033 oh my god how many years did he get um he was prosecuted in Kansas i don't know it doesn't say pretty flat i guess it just he he appealed in 01 so he's been there for a bit oh my god can you imagine like that he was resting in 97 told you as soon as i got

Starting point is 00:45:03 here maybe a couple months and i never met him i just they said i would you get i remember the name yeah and that was listen man when i was when i came out here i was still doing criminality shit and once i got here he was caught up huh the more the more that i got into commie the less i got away from it yeah i stumbled i always had to sell some type of coke to put 20s together dog i'm getting 15 the spot at the comedy store 40 a willie bar center's room 50s you know i'm trying to pay rent i'm trying to do a thousand fucking things so you know you come up to me and go i need a fucking eight ball i charge you an extra 50 and take a half grandma and throw a half grandma aspect of that motherfucker you know i'm saying yeah that's that was it i'd pick up 50 here

Starting point is 00:45:51 50 there i pick up 200 a week from selling coke you do what you did you know you just put it all together but the more than comedy the least i wanted to do it i was like fucking you imagine i'm one time i sold a pound of weed this guy was a legit agent i had become friends with a legit agent he was a pamp dog this guy got the scam of going to little cities black guy no he was a white dude very handsome white dude very i mean fucking gq type white yeah fancy and what a scam was he would contact let's say the moine isle and say i'm a talent agent from los angeles when it comes to the moine isle and see you look at all the talent so he'd get two other agents from two other agencies they charge each each kid 250 they'd get there bro they'd be

Starting point is 00:46:45 90 fucking kids there 250 of pop guys and they would read the kids and tell them they had potential and then they go what we're gonna do tomorrow is have a seminar on acting for children we suggest you come for the three hours and that's another 125 hours and there's also headshots tomorrow for 250 wow and they would rape a town plus that dude would fuck young chicks oh that was his bag i did not know this i did not associate with him yeah i would tell him what do you need this weed for i don't believe and he would tell me i go to parties look at this man we go to these fucking he would go to florida and orlando he would go to tampa he would go to atlanta georgia all these places and even a little small he wouldn't even go to atlanta he'd go to like a smaller town in georgia

Starting point is 00:47:38 yeah and he would just go get there friday then get to a local bar saturday morning starts scamming people and then sell the acting class then sunday do the three hour seminar and they'd be on a seven o'clock playing with ten grand a piece and each of them would fuck some check or a mom or get their dick sucked by a mom they had horrible stories wow what happened to him and he was my agent he was one of the agents at this agency that i would go there and talk to and one day he just started asking me can you get weed man he came to our compadre and i saw him in action i saw him drinking and i saw he was the real deal it was one of those crazy white dudes and while he was up there i'm sure he was doing coke and then i got him like that time i got him

Starting point is 00:48:22 like an ounce and then i saw him another ounce then i saw this one out for about six months two he was always but he was one of those dudes that always smoked weed he just wanted really good weed yeah and uh then a couple times he was like dog we're going down to florida for the weekend we don't want to fuck around it's gonna be a half a pound i would jack him two hundred dollars on a half a pound and take a half ounce out and spray it with water to make the weed fucking swell up and shit by the time we got to florida he realized i smoked three ounces of pot yesterday he said no you didn't uncle joey wet that weed like a motherfucker dude i sold an ounce one time in my neighborhood and almost lost my mind and fucking i couldn't handle the stress man this was just too

Starting point is 00:49:05 stressful why i thought everybody's gonna turn us in man and then uh i remember hiding in the trunk of my own car for like a couple hours dude and thankfully i didn't die because i didn't know you could die in your own trunk and um and i remember hiding in there and thankfully my the people i was living with came home and i heard them park and i banged on the trunk and they let me out i was fucked up man a lot of weird shit happened by us man they had a dude that committed a crime right and then ended up cutting off his own hands to try and not get caught for it he wouldn't have his own fucking oh man uh fingerprints like i can see where he was thinking with it but he just didn't think of one step far enough yeah because they can still catch you for it man yeah man i got

Starting point is 00:49:50 away with that i cut my hands but that dude was deviant anyways dude and some families i noticed joey over time i noticed a lot of families have the devil in them you know you know what i'm saying or you don't think so yeah oh yeah that's just a funny way of phrasing it but yes well some families have you know the father something's wrong with the father something's wrong with the kids something's wrong with the it's just that gene something's wrong with the gene they got a bruised gene you know what i'm talking about i lived it yeah i lived it it's uh not as bad as you know you would think but i saw it i saw it and i lived a little bit of it and i saw some shit growing up that uh there were some families who really got it together you want to be a part of that family

Starting point is 00:50:39 and there were some families that you walked in the house and you said what the fuck i thought my family was fucking crazy this is absurd yeah and that's what keeps you in balance you know let me ask you guys a question yeah because lee's already starting to get read okay are you lee lee tomorrow a little bit more of the podcast ends okay okay it's uh july right you know your options are how to get a job look at that or whatever you call me up you go joey i don't want to fucking do do this shit no more what do i do i'd say lee get yourself those football sheets get the fucking games every monday every sunday go to a printer make yourself 200 sheets and just pass them out at the comedy store pass them out and tell everybody they need the money by thursday

Starting point is 00:51:31 at one o'clock and see what happens every week you pass out 200 of those things you'll get 50 of those motherfuckers back lee and each one of them be paying five dollars on that you make 250 dollars every weekend on football fucking god forbid somebody go four for four that's where it starts you gotta go four for four you go eight for eight you would like 10 000 you know many times people gonna go eight for eight they go eight for eight you move to atlanta but my point is this lee okay and i know that that likely he just said it was very stressful right yeah i can't even imagine that's why i didn't even buy weed as a kid when i sold drugs in north bergen per se whether it was coke or mescaline in those days or weed yeah it was with kids i had grown up with or knew about

Starting point is 00:52:19 right like they went to harris man or they went to mckinley or they went to fucking robert fulton and i played ball against him in the seventh grade and now we're in high school and they want to buy tenets of mescaline right you're not going to jail right you're not going to fucking jail that's what i did lee i sold the kids at my high school it's not like i was on the corner going come here yeah and you don't know who the fuck you're selling to you don't know who to fuck you're selling to yeah you sold the people you knew already local locals when i moved to boulder i was fucking around but i'd be working with people yeah locals and then i really heard that boulder really had an anti-drug unit that was out there and they would mingle and take down college kids and you would

Starting point is 00:53:01 read about these weird arrests you know lisa yacht got arrested last night night 22 selling undercover cop and i heard a bunch of these the cops were active in boulder but you also got to remember how they show up if you know how a cop shows up you'll know the system a lot of people don't know how to sell drugs and they go to a concert and they see something they go pss you want to get you want to get met uh uh what's that shit mdma molly let's say you want molly and you go yeah and you go what do you got i got 22 hits what do you want for each of them 20 i'll cut your deal 400 boom you're under arrest that's how quick it happens and guess what you're doing 15 fucking years god for that type of drug mdma and molly and all that shit yeah you're doing time no with

Starting point is 00:53:52 and i know the answer is yes but with like legal weed are there still weed dealers in california like it doesn't make sense probably there's people that may not want a license yeah for insurance purposes or for their job purposes there's people who don't want to be off the radar there's people who'll tell that something and get a license and go buy me weed there's that still but i still think i still think there's weed dealers everybody wants me you could almost just mail weed to anybody in america and they'll accept it usually like i uh every time i see more family members they just keep wanting uh weed you know that it's like mail me weed you know i'm scared to mail weed they always bust it open yeah let's see what they pop it here they pop you right

Starting point is 00:54:37 here they don't even get to where you're going wow these motherfuckers at the la's uh down there what's the cherokee station behind 7-eleven shit you know robbie gunpoint those motherfuckers those motherfuckers are robbie at gunpoint lee where's tony bennett kind of suck it vagiffin dude that was a big thing when i was young was uh a lot of the girls would put a hit a lsd in their vagina and they called a vagiffin what no i didn't yeah would it would it absorb through the vagina oh i guess it would we'll talk about this after the break we gotta talk about this i remember big shannon went deep one time on it pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart and she got locked in a yeah a small bedroom somebody twice as smart just super friendly check though

Starting point is 00:55:35 a somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me me who'll leave you to learn i took a half of one larry's pills a couple stars a fucking uh a chocolate bar we're ready to go here feeling cooking you know what i'm saying it's all about the monday night loose i can graduate here so back to this fucking ass in the chick's pussy yeah how old was she uh high school you know this girl they call her big shannon and she was pretty you know she was i would say ruben nests for that time period this was also 1996 maybe and she uh she lost it man she just lost it on this lsd you know and so she

Starting point is 00:56:28 she wanted to stay in this small bedroom we were all fucked up and we were going in there and like pouring like warm water on her back and shit like that we were fucked up but that's back when some of the lsd would just it would just make you do weird shit you know like i remember we made we uh cooked a pizza in a dryer one time on buddy's house dude made a medium pizza medium how to turn out a ronium mushroom pizza uh we had a we had a cycle at probably 20 15 20 times not that good not that good overall there's nothing i want more in this life i'm 54 i got the girl at the house there would be a shame i would love to take lead deep into acid murky waters old school yeah you know two hours of confusion yeah that'd be five hours of hell

Starting point is 00:57:17 and three hours of thinking about what the fuck just happened yeah what about eight hours of hell it's two hours of confusion so if you're popular they right it's two hours of what is this gonna hit me what's gonna happen to me yeah is joey gonna watch me and then six eight it's sick it should be our old school would be four to six hours of hell yeah like music sounds things you see purple streaks the dark are you yourself in the mirror free lasers everything is everything you know everything you go through two hours lee that you are laughing that you think you're gonna die me and you will laugh and stuff freaking out we won't fucking laugh at shit till we fucking kill over and then we realize how high we are we stop for 20 30 minutes yeah then it starts all over again

Starting point is 00:58:07 now you start tripping now you start telling me what you see look oh my god the fucking face is moving it's laughing they're like no look at my face he's blinking at it's fucking crazy and then you slow down for two hours and then i say good night you say good night now you go home you can't sleep right your wife is leaving yeah it's seven in the morning she's going to work and you're sitting there thinking like what the fuck happened last night like it's a very for the cold rag on your back i can't go through that right now with this point in my life with lee everything we've done has been very mild really oh garbage mild very not mild no no because you've never done it before i would i'm talking about shit that for six hours tomorrow morning you'd

Starting point is 00:58:57 say to me what happened last night thought we walked the 7-11 do you remember we seen the chick in the wheelchair and she i mean it's every stop is laughter yeah that was the good thing about that's what i'm things happen like things happen everything's apart that would never happen before yeah while you're on acid the universe knows you're on it yeah so next thing you know things that would never happen to you what happened to you the squirrel show up what does that mean okay we would walk the 7-11 you and i and then be so high and so confused that we would actually convince each other we were hungry and we wanted a salad from the fucking federal like it's that type of shit lee like lee we like the federal we were talking about the federal no i wouldn't have been to the

Starting point is 00:59:45 federal so the federal is on Lancashire up the corner from the theater there where they shot sons of anarchy they got a good fucking blue cheese vinaigrette salad in their rocks yeah with little bake i don't know what they have and i heard they canceled that they's changed the menu i haven't been in a year and a half two years but we would go in there beautiful salad okay go to the corner order everything on the menu because the acid is telling you you're hungry and once that food comes we even sit down at the table are we laughing the whole time when the waitress comes we're giggling oh yeah we don't we don't make eye contact we're like ice tea yeah he's hiding behind the menu and if she does a presentation yeah if i can look like if she goes let me tell you the

Starting point is 01:00:26 specials of the day like one of those things we will die of heart attacks like you pray for that not to happen you just keep saying fish and chips and a salad and she's like but it's my job to tell you we have a flounder with artichoke juice and by that time lee you're either fucking ready to explode from the laughter you can't wait till she leaves oh dude i've laughed in people's faces on just edibles so i'm sure i wouldn't do it and then something very weird will happen i love that okay yeah something very weird would happen yeah the hottest woman in the bar yeah would just be black yeah okay and she'd sit down next to lee and i go i know you two are and me and lee would just stare at her for a minute and look at each other like shit in our pants and she would go

Starting point is 01:01:16 you two guys are from that reality show on the baking show from hoboken and you and i would bust out into laughter you know that's the type of shit that happens to you what about the that night at the old ha ha with the girl with the bandages on her head that seems like an acid night that's an acid night i'm supposed to even see her ever again she that took me to the bar yeah and ended up being a hooker and yeah she took a little bar that asked them for 50 bucks at the bar how much you want i don't we didn't even discuss the freak to come out man she said she she said she'd make me like feel like the like the sexiest man alive she wanted to go to a hotel and watch a movie it was the weird i had just met you she was sitting outside of the ha ha

Starting point is 01:01:57 he left she'll hide your chin and her pussy i bet one of them gals you know you think she might have nothing better than a bandage on her head though so it's too it wasn't good oh she's in a 20 usually she got yeah she got hit in the head she's committed dude she has a bandage on her head she's still trying to fuck dude she's you know she's probably from detroit or from like up in that area there's nothing better than going out blacking out for a little while and waking up in the middle night and being somewhere fucked up like you're like how the fuck did i get to this place and you panic for like 10 minutes but then your addiction you're like fucking i got 60 bucks i could get home yeah are you waking up in the morning or just that night like just mid like

Starting point is 01:02:42 mid part of your day wake up when you want dog i was so fucking bad 93 player when i went back to new york to do comedy guys i was i was doing coke six nights a week at 30 miles a and i was in the city six nights a week that's hard to do but on fridays i wouldn't schedule anything and for me to get a couple extra bucks and to have a good time i would go out with my goomba at the time christy fish and christy fish smoked crack he'd buy an eight ball and a half on a friday and i'd clip a gram off him and tell him i lost it then keep doing his and i'd hold on to oh i was evil to christy fish but i loved him with all my heart i still do and me and him bro i would i would hook up with him with six dollars in my pocket you know i'm

Starting point is 01:03:28 no shame to tell you the truth i got cut a deal with him years earlier him and i would be your friends and i did a lot of stuff for him and his family and he kind of like one day i realized i go remember that deal i cut you got me on those cocksucker i heard you sold this for those instead of this when we were younger we did some ring thing yeah and i heard that he made a lot of money on those rings trust me it was zero i didn't lose a dime every dime i made was profit i made good money at the age 18 with him but once i found out i always held it against oh i know what happened i had that do you ever hear me tell that story i'm joe rogan about bonehead uh-uh okay bonehead was part of the d lorenzo crew that i grew up with there were three brothers uh-huh who dog

Starting point is 01:04:12 they were like you good-looking if i show you a picture kurt you'll go jesus christ he looked a little like you good-looking dude i still got a picture i'm in my wall in my office and it was kurt bonehead and and christy christian and and uh kurt with a fucking tutsunuts yeah amio the older one had a little problem he liked going into the city and doing a little ba banya but nobody everybody knew but you wouldn't know because he was a hard worker he was a plumber he owned his own company so he was cruising he was like to go hard but some nights he would be lied on money and the two brothers were drug dealers now i was in that house in that time at all times like that's how open the house was i could walk in they go ma it's me and she'd go

Starting point is 01:04:58 oh i don't know where the boys are are you hungry and i go yeah and i go in the refrigerator make an egg cream take a sauce of sandwich and i'd sit in the kitchen like they're in my family yeah they were very good to me growing up i loved them dearly they knew i was a thief yeah and i would never even take a dime out of that house because they were like fucking solid with me yeah those latter years from 81 to 85 86 oh my god solid up so this is summer of 83 82 i'm clipping up a storm i'm robbing with fucking forehands i'm robbing refrigerators i'm robbing air conditioners i'm stealing jewelry i'm selling i'm going to hollam and getting coke on 135th street at 18 i'm a machine and most of the shit i dumped that's hot is on Chrissy or his family in some way

Starting point is 01:05:54 right they had a friend of the family that was also and i would bring him shit he would get me jobs casing joints out for him like go get a job at this warehouse we'll pay you 300 a week and let them pay you 200 everybody's in on it i mean they were fucking a real family when i was growing up they weren't in the mafia they were just fucking people made a living doing what they did yeah so at this time i was very always over the house i didn't know where they had their coke and i didn't know where their money was the family i coat other two kids the parents at that time knew but they didn't know right the kids would pay the rent and the mortgage and buy groceries and the family was like you know what we know you're up to something but we don't want to know yeah

Starting point is 01:06:41 so this is after the bonehead was the real deal if i could tell you my top top 10 friends of all time that if i had to write them into a tv show bonehead being there bonehead would definitely be in that beautiful man thin died he's dead he died he looked like robin deniro and uh and uh godfather to always wore a white t-shirt was a plumber was from my hometown but didn't really hang out there some plums are pretty handsome actually this dude was when we were 18 he tells you want to work tomorrow he paid me 65 dollars a day wow to basically go to a building carry shit and then he'd go take the van and go buy a six pack of beer i come back with a six pack we drink two or three beers we go to mix all these alehouse in the village and he'd leave me in there

Starting point is 01:07:31 and he'd go into the village and get eight valiums for 10 bucks he'd give me the eight valiums and he'd go i'll be right back and he'd go in the back and shoot some heroin at mix all these alehouse and he'd come out tuned up i'd drive the van back and he'd pay me for the day wow i love them i love he was always always make me laugh he had a girlfriend that he would fuck in the living room and they do heroin they pass out so i'd sleep over some nights i'd wake up and they both be passed out and she'd be sleeping with a pussy open and i would just take my dick out and whack off right in the living room yeah a little monkey i'm sick fuck i'm 18 that's very tribal really if you think about it it's probably very it almost sounds super attached so i'm living

Starting point is 01:08:09 down the corner yes because it had to be 82 because i'm still living in it's before september of 82 i'm living at the runnies and i hear somebody knock on my window and look at the clock it's four in the morning i look up and he goes koko get the fuck out here it's Chrissy i go all right hold on let me get dressed i get dressed i go what's up he goes koko i don't want no drama where's the fucking box i go what box he goes where's the fucking box koko please box koko i don't want to call my brothers get the fucking box i go i don't know what box you're talking about chris hmm he goes i had coconut and there was 40 000 dollars in a bunch of jewelry just give it back to me i go let me in she said how long you know me if i had a box with koko 40

Starting point is 01:08:51 000 dollars do you think i'd be sleeping in a fucking basement right now yeah with eight dollars in my pocket he go we gotta figure this out somebody stole this out of my house we walked back to his house i sat in the living room with the whole family i told him exactly where i was they said you were here last night well yeah about seven thirty and they said so you weren't here at 11 o'clock i go no i was home hey i've been here for an hour with you guys i stayed in that night yeah like we don't know please tell us the truth and i go family how many times do i come here a week to fucking eat and shit like that they fucking grilled me man all of a while koko we know you did it you were the only one that could have done this you were here i gotta go again do you think

Starting point is 01:09:32 if i had 40 fucking g's i would be in that fucking house sleeping on the floor at that time there was nothing i wanted was to get the fuck out of there we sat there till about six in the fucking morning i went home i finally talked my way out of it they believed me i went home chris fucking cried he called me every name in the book he said if he didn't get the money back in three days he was gonna call people on me and shim he was sick and tired of it that i was just a fucking thief and shit this is after two or three years that him and i are doing business and he's making a lot of money on me yeah well the fucking next day again i hear a horn beep and i go outside and i go dog i'm telling you if i took 40 grand he goes get in don't even say nothing i get in the car we go

Starting point is 01:10:20 around the corner he goes i gotta apologize to you we found out what happened like i told you i wouldn't rob you so i always had that on him boy his brother bonehead came in at 11 the parents said we heard somebody 11 like oh no i was home they said you sure like i'm telling you they said it sounded like you i go no bonehead went in there said kurt christ when they went in there he went in the room but the lot christ was sleeping kurt was sleeping he didn't want to turn the line on so he couldn't open up the tackle box and just take the cash out so what he did was he took the fucking tackle box and he took it into the Bronx at four in the morning and he didn't want to leave the car in case the car got towed so he took it out he put in a garbage can and put garbage on

Starting point is 01:11:06 top and went up to the heroin place shot some heroin and when he came back down the garbage man came yes yes so he came clean because when he walked in they told him what happened that they had accused me that they were going to beat me up and shit so i told him the truth at least he did so from all the abuse he gave me i always said to him i'll never forget those things you said to me yeah so every Friday it was on him thousands he would spend on me i want clams i want spaghetti and shit i want a bottle of this and get me a grandma blow i'll give you the money next week you know he's gonna give me the money next week but he loved me he really did and dog he would party like a rock star and we would start blowing clams baby we would start at four by two in the morning

Starting point is 01:11:52 we'd be at a strip club and he would act weird he would start making faces and talk weird to people yeah he got thrown out of every bar it was like hanging out with Tracy Morgan and it was tremendous we'd end up at the weirdest place one night i went out with him we came about four o'clock and i started doing bumps i think i took like a half a fucking pill or something and next thing you know dog i wake up it's three thirty in the morning i'm gonna back up his car in a parking garage dog and like walk out of the thing and they hear music and it's like a disco in a parking garage like on the 11th floor wow so on the 11th floor in new york you pull up and they it's like an elevator they pull your car up to the 11th floor you're driving no yeah this was

Starting point is 01:12:40 fucking crazy and we stayed in there till like 10 o'clock came out with sunglasses we bumped into the chick they used to fuck amio we brought him back to jersey was Donna chinsoune was her name she was half irish half chinese wow oh my god that was part of my drug and stuff i would leave with him on friday and get home at saturday or one in the afternoon yeah that's a terrible feeling dog yeah oh that's the worst man but i'd have a gram in my pocket for saturday night oh and i'd still have 80 bucks i stole 40 from him at the bar you know what i'm saying when he was all fucked up you get going again and that yeah i didn't see i didn't get super like lsd armor was fun i would always feel like i didn't like having shoulders when i was on lsd because i always felt like my uh

Starting point is 01:13:27 i know it's like my shoulders were like looking for me you know what i'm saying if that makes any sense to you like i would just just get scared a lot by them and uh and i would have like a lot of audible trips you know where i would hear just a lot of shit like things far away and i thought i would hear actions like i would hear like people looking like looking at each other and i'm like damn those people are looking at each other but it's loud like i would have the weirdest just kind of like i don't know my senses got fucked up one time i was on my grandmother's on lsd some kids some local kids gave me some lsd and i didn't know them but they you know were being pretty friendly and everything and then i remember i so fucked up i

Starting point is 01:14:13 felt like i had to see through my hands like my senses were messed up so i remember walking around like this trying to like see where i was going you know like it was it was deep man i got pretty deep at certain times but but these days i don't know if i could do lsd i think i think sometimes memories of it and the thoughts of it are better than actually doing it you know and tell you guys the story i never told in the podcast summer of 17 i'm in the eighth grade i'm gonna be a freshman my life was basketball at that time i was smoking pot i hung out with people who did mescom they were a little older than i was and one night this dude lefty cortina had this party and he was his parents were doctors he's a teacher now at a school in union city and his parents had a party

Starting point is 01:15:03 and he invited like really cool people like it wasn't like you could show up with eight people in those days that they called you that meant come alone yeah but he invited this kid named joe luci who i grew up with that one of the guys who listens to the podcast tell me how he's gonna remember this it was the summer of 78 and it was joe luci and this other kid that i just saw in florida i forget what the fuck his name is cuban kid they used to call him gonzo well we were all at lefty's we were all kids young kids they had to be 15 people at lefty's and half of us took micro dot but whatever people did that kid joe luci tripled like he was a savage i OD that one of his parties when i was a kid i had a bunch of quail loons and got snorted out i'm a professional

Starting point is 01:15:49 at this shit though i don't know about this shit because i failed even an adult thank god i didn't die but i'll never forget it was like four of us walking home and it was joe luci and gonzo and it was me and it made me three other people four other people we were walking maybe 30 yards behind them i was a young kid it was maybe 11 30 at night and we were walking in front of a high school mm-hmm wouldn't tell me how long away here's the story he's gonna shit joe luci was like an anti-establishment guy great kid his father had a barring town i always loved him his birthday we shared a birthday he fucking ran up to the window tripping balls on acid the board of education had glass windows he ran up to a guys and fucking punched it oh he pulled his armor it just ripped

Starting point is 01:16:41 his fucking flesh jesus christ till this night i remember him giggling the blood pouring off his arm and me i just turned around and ran because i couldn't see blood at all in those days yeah i just ran and sat by a fucking pole i got a light like for 20 minutes and then they walked away and while we walked past that path you could see the droplets of blood again i went into fucking zomboville those were the things i saw on acid at first i was kind of turned off yeah i was like i don't want to punch no fucking glass yeah i don't want to do that shit but i never stopped bro i can look you guys in the face and tell you i was hooked on acid after my mother died wow every night i did it four or five nights a week you see the way i eat edibles yeah i was

Starting point is 01:17:24 doing acid the way i eat it lord i would need three hits of mescaline to get lord because we were partying saturday for every time i caught copped every time i copped 300 hits i'd find somebody to get high with wow what are you doing bro nothing let's do it in mescaline like come on i gotta test them on biology fuck biology cut it yeah fucking let's go let's go db biology me and didi can tell we do it i hit a micro dot and then after about how you feeling okay you see anything yet no let's do another one come on you think we should do it yeah we pop another one and then two hours later we'd be sizzling sitting on a park bench fucking two inches from each other looking around at martians and shit just fucking hunting wizards and shit with your face yeah

Starting point is 01:18:09 it's fucking hysterical dude i remember this dude uh this dude steve would always let us cut his hair when he was on acid it like tripped him out yeah if everybody like i wouldn't want scissors anywhere near me on acid dude he loved it it was like the thing that almost like it was like every strand was like a dick to him or something he was just like every he would just get off by it like not really like ejaculate but just feel so much joy from it you know i've never been a big mushroom guy you know that stuff i'm trying to think of something but i'm gonna tell you what i do miss that happened on acid i do miss sitting around with five guys that you love dealing your trust with a sheet of acid i did that one time i gotta tell you something it was fun my sophomore year

Starting point is 01:18:57 i musta ate ate his acid the whole weekend wow i took showers i went back to the lodge and took showers but in those days i wanted to be lost i didn't want to feel the pain of my mother's death what year was that this had to be 80 81 my 81 cocaine was really high i'm my priority i wouldn't go on unless i had a package yeah like there was no sense of going with it to go sit at a bar and look at each other fuck you yeah i'm not going on one side so every time you saw me i had a package you know if you saw me at a bar i was holding doing little bumps in those days it was a half gram that was my recreation it was a half gram you know half gram is when i quit i could do a half gram in one line oh yeah i could do a gram in one in two lines when i first started a half

Starting point is 01:19:46 gram will last me five fucking hours late little bumps on the spoon that's it see how long i have gram last you do you think i don't really know what the different size amounts were i just remember i'd get like some little baggies and then i would try at first i would just get one and then by the you know then i was getting more than one and then i was doing one at the stop first stop like that i hit you know and just stupid shit like that like much as each baggie i think $50 you know oh you were a professional you're buying 50s all right i ain't managing yes and i was by three at the time dude and one time i did eight ball or something i don't even think it was cocaine i don't know what it was could have been bear aspirin dude i did that whole thing by myself dude

Starting point is 01:20:28 and i couldn't uh i remember i couldn't close one of my eyes one time for about probably maybe 60 minutes and i had to put like a cold rag like a wet rag over it because i was afraid like i was gonna dry out and i just remember being so scared dude a couple times i was called the hospital i remember google searching to make sure i was still alive one time bro you ever done that i used to write wills i would get so fucked up i'd write a will to my family thinking that i wasn't gonna live the next day man scary my thing was mathematics you would do math on it i would do math on cocaine i'd get fucking hammered on coke and i'd get a notebook and i'd start with 10 kilos what if i had 10 kilos how would i distribute it and i would sit there for hours i'd go through

Starting point is 01:21:10 california into whatever and i'd sell five kilos to a guy named roi demayo another four of this guy this is what the this is what the kilos would cost me and this is what i would sell a phone this would be my profit what if you got caught and i thought these were real records i mean i was fucking retarded guys that was my shit then my shit i was never a porno guy thank god yeah i gotta know watch no i was never a cocaine porno guy it's not i had a friend that you go over there and he refused to take that shit off and it would the fucking drive me crazy yeah crazy you want to show me a come shot i'm in but turn this shit off yeah you know i'm like the next guy i got a little juice of me you got a hot chick that takes a fucking cum load to the face so the forehead yeah i'll watch

Starting point is 01:21:55 it you know two minutes i'm in when i next time i go to the bathroom to pee my dick is dead anyway yeah that was the thing that really got me that i think about now that i cannot believe i was doing watching porn with another guy no no no what the fuck is wrong what are you talking about that's natural of everybody standing up no sometimes you go to sleep you call me up right and you say to me what are you doing and i'm sitting there i'm holding three quarters of a gram of coke yeah all right and i'm a little buzzed i'm like why leave what's going on you're like dog my friend just dropped an A ball on me come on over do a couple lines that means i'm doing half that motherfucker yeah who's over there where you leave nobody i'm by myself i would shoot over there i would never

Starting point is 01:22:40 tell you i had that g-ball in my pocket that's shit for later that's mine that's for in case the chick shows up over at these house and i would sit at your house and do the whole fucking eight balls and i tell you we're out talk shit you tell me to stop and get beer and a bottle of vodka and a bottle of snaps and orange juice and two packs of camel lights you tell me for you to come over get me three packs of marlboro get a case of fucking panicking and get a bottle of jack and three of those liters of coke and get three bags of ice take an uber yeah old school and i come overly and we lock the doors but now i show up bleed you got an eight ball you don't have fucking petticoat junction you've got porn yeah it's like that movie what's that movie boogie nights

Starting point is 01:23:28 they showed up the dude was playing the cassette and he was just a gal all the time yeah like anything anything else there's people who are this guy had a friend the news so i had a best friend that we would get so fucking high he collapsed rent the shitty hotel room and finished his eight ball and we'd go there and it was blankets you could smell the come in the room and you turn the tv on and channel three the first channel was the most disgusting fucking porn you'd ever see and he'd sit there and talk to you about his mother and his childhood his dreams and the whole time some fucking chick skinny crack hole is getting fucked by eight guys in the asshole and she's all strung out you can see the needle marks on the fucking legs and the arms it was probably wouldn't even

Starting point is 01:24:12 tv there's probably a hole in the wall of the next room man that's what i bet all those hotels were disgusting along the route one and nine always bayone going into north bergen any motel jessie city we did so much coke at those city there was one in particular i even lived there sorry to tell you i loved it the tip top the domino that's what it was in 80 i lived there for fucking a month and they had a room that had jacuzzi you went in there you could smell the diseases you could smell the disease hot crotch in the air my friend rented it one night and got like two fucking skanky hookers and i went over to snort with him i had to leave they were disgusting they were fucking just disgusting yeah that's the scary part when some um vagina hits the air

Starting point is 01:24:57 you're just like this isn't even no those hotels are disgusting you have sex at those hotels you get a rash on your back for sure yeah i lived in those things and that's where the fun guy told i think got invented a staff infection country yeah that's those hotel rooms and that was brand new at that time that was maybe five years old but the weekends were just people fucking from the discos yeah that's all that was people snorting and fucking girls telling their parents they're gonna sleep at elissa's house and go shopping saturday morning fuck you they're at the fucking motel the domino getting high and getting banged and people taking pictures and shit i remember the big thing growing up bus was to fuck like behind a tree like out by the lake like people

Starting point is 01:25:39 they had this like one tree and people would always go out there and park and walk around and um or you know or open your car doors and like fuck behind the car door you know what where people couldn't see like you know couldn't see your bodies kind of you know um i think because we didn't have like a lot of hotels and motels by us yeah so you didn't either i had no none that's when life was fun yeah you when you had a date you know and everybody knew the deal you know grandma lives with them there's nothing you know to do in that house yeah and now you can't even you can't run to a hotel until you're 25 so yeah that means you got to pull over and talk her into pulling up her skirt somewhere and it's funny because usually you start finger banging them in the car

Starting point is 01:26:20 and whatnot the next thing you know you're behind the car she because the only way you can bang to be honest with you is if she's on all fours holding on to the hood and you're just back there stabbing them both of you fucking uh you gotta go back there and bend over and eat that pussy from behind to work that monkey yeah party in the wilderness that's how you gotta do it why do you think she's gonna get liquid in that thing she's gonna think what would draw she gonna go to yeah so you gotta start the party up by bending down pulling up that skirt that's a little fast in there that fucking monkey so she's wet and you're wet and he's just popping in there no condom that's all our savage yeah if i tell you guys something i gotta believe this that's how i knocked up my first wife i was

Starting point is 01:27:02 in the halfway house when i knocked on my outdoors we were by her parents house i would go up there on fridays and saturdays and i would stay over on fridays and watch tv with them down in the bait and they had the living room yeah but i wasn't allowed to sleep but they were very catholic but one friday night one friday night one friday night that'll get you well uh we would go we would go up there and the pretense was that we're gonna go hiking and one uh give this to leader just like that one friday night we went up there and our pretense would give we're gonna go for a hike and we went for a hike and we started making out and right there on the property i just bent her over and gave her a stab and made a child huh made a fucking child beautiful baby man yeah

Starting point is 01:27:58 that's a child right there that's a that's an old picture i found a couple weeks ago holy she looks a lot like mercy don't she yeah you would die i couldn't even really like i didn't even really really uh it was i looked at it but i've never seen a picture of her i was like oh my god i was checking when she was five or six or seven maybe Jesus long fucking time ago i'm proud of what you did to yovan listen man don't give a fuck what they tell you because this was my problem my problem was deep down inside i believe if i quit snorting coke i wouldn't be funny no more i really believe that if i stopped this is the lie that i told myself lia you're writing this fucking down so someday when you're fucking writing your big novel you could tell people this

Starting point is 01:28:47 my biggest fear was that the funniest because i thought the craziness would go away yeah that thing that makes you push the envelope and not be fucking afraid so for years that was my problem lia i wanted to get out of the cocaine business altogether but i was getting there i'm knocking on the door i just got spider-man too i got a pilot with louis guzman i got all this shit and you want me to stop snorting now in the middle of all this shit and have a nervous breakdown now you gotta in my head i was like fucking you gotta keep the machine rolling and if that's helping me book jobs guess what i'm snorting double yeah and that's what i made myself believe theo that's a bad believe was that true no i wouldn't be sitting across from you i wouldn't be sitting across from

Starting point is 01:29:33 you addiction means you know what addiction means bro yeah when you get rid of it it means that your mind has 50 more capacity to think because you're not thinking about that fucking thing that drove you crazy anymore and how are you gonna get it i got to the point where i would wake up and you couldn't talk to me what do you want to talk to me about a gig for a hundred bucks on august go fuck yourself unless you're gonna give me a hundred upfront yeah for me to score today that's all i cared about when i woke up in the morning you couldn't talk to me about none what do you want to talk to me about listen i got a gig in december listen you and your fucking gig and your mother go fuck yourself in december i need something today how are we gonna make it happen

Starting point is 01:30:13 today that's the mind of an addict you know you didn't get that thank god when you wake up from now on every morning say i'm a fight it's a beautiful day to be alive i'm not doing that shit no more and you know what whatever the future holds the future holds but i'm not gonna do that shit yeah i'm not doing that shit and just that's it and it's fun i miss putting the coke rocking my pee hole having some chicks sucking oh that's that's five in the morning type jinky shit yeah that was my whole of law that was my whole point of the night if i could get you to either put a coke rocking my pee hole if i could put a little coke on your clit and suck it yeah and you look at me and go what are you doing just a little coke to numb your clit at five in the morning after

Starting point is 01:30:56 you're coked out a woman let you do anything to a fucking shame you know yeah it's like being at this yeah i would never let somebody suck a finger in my ass but one night at five in the morning this chick was working that little muffler with a finger and i didn't have the energy to complain i was so coked out i couldn't even yell you know what i'm saying yeah i'm gonna yell about i just sat there and took it because you gotta be a savage let me give some shout outs here yeah man the fucking torpedo room sleepaholic brooklyn bests the mma bible michael fett's devin alan henderson kyle jordan biz nasta megan 715 and uh what the fuck is this beyond w lin 2c plus the dude who gave me the nutsack fucking protector in st louis plus the

Starting point is 01:31:50 little fucking dude who gave me a container weed who gave me a note which the note is in my wallet and i'm too fucked up to go over there and get it don't forget wednesday night the ice house working out with uncle joey i got some shit i want to talk about and then the 29th of july listen they called me today there's like 50 fucking tickets left so you better get your shit together but i think they're gonna open up the back so let's pray that they open up the back and extend it the boy god of july 29th uh let me talk to you people about some something about uh my man over here at the elvan do you think since you've gotten offered that the quality of life has improved yes that's the most important thing because about a couple weeks ago you called me

Starting point is 01:32:41 and you still let me run something by you and you were concerned you go i got a week in vegas but they just offered me this thing in montreal but they didn't bump me up they didn't give me a bump they gave me the same three minutes sets and i told just listen i've never been to montreal if i had paperwork and i got invited i would go at any caliber because right now only good things could happen to you the worst thing that could happen is what up there the only thing that could happen is you only go up there and fuck them up the elvan that's all that could happen yeah and get repercussions come back maybe pick up new representation maybe pick up a production deal maybe somebody wants to do a show with you

Starting point is 01:33:20 to go into that realm and to have cocaine and your fucking thing yeah you don't want to carry that monkey on your back trust me i did it for my first fucking 12 years here what did it get me done it got me rolls and shit because i'm a fucking savage in those audition rooms but i was always walking around pale i got sickly i got overweight now i have a mind i have reason to think you know so you're on the path man i can graduate and i hope you go to montreal show these bitches what they're looking for thanks man yeah i appreciate that man i always appreciate you checking in and i appreciate the guidance too i can't see a guy like you i'm not having an hbo special i can't see a guy like you i can't see a small network either giving you a hosting gig

Starting point is 01:34:15 listen who the fuck wants to do a camera gig a hidden camera gig i don't want to do that shit anymore yeah not anymore you're too good looking you're too old right now you're gonna be the fifth guy on the sitcom you know you should be the fifth guy on the sitcom whatever yeah recurring six episodes per season that you know you're sitting this town and you go listen this is what i should be doing this is what i will be content with remember there's no no part of me that wants to be a millionaire i don't want to drive a BMW i don't want a butler i don't want to be that dude i just want to coexist support my family and i'm very happy i know where i've been dog yeah i know how dark it is on the other side i'm very content with the little fucking thing that's going on

Starting point is 01:35:02 right now i'm not like anybody else you don't see me doubling up on this is a journey dog why kill yourself that these clubs are gonna be there next year yeah write your material take care of your shit see what la has to offer you because like i always tell me why fucking live here if you're not gonna be in films or commercials yeah i live you can do you can do this out of New Orleans yeah you can move to New Orleans and doubt they'll fly everywhere and they'll throw you off the plane when i'm coping how you doing lisa at my brother i'm doing pretty good i'm doing pretty good just speaking of planes do you see that the plane got sent down because of a fart dog how crazy does that it happens man it's the best article i want to enjoy to read it because it's probably the

Starting point is 01:35:46 bet that i saw it today and people sent me fucking 22 links to it by the way my suspension on facebook is over oh my suspension on facebook is over my suspension on facebook is over thank god they were trying to fuck with me those people god damn them but no man i'm very proud of the year that you've done this has probably been a tough year for new for you i know you work on yourself or not i know you suffer from anxiety like i do when you deal with it yeah and how many meetings you're going to a week i'm probably going uh four are you fucking them up at the meetings you make them laugh sometimes but sometimes i got to be careful not to get caught up in that kind of stuff because you know i want to make sure that i'm being a part of what's going on no you're just a funny guy

Starting point is 01:36:34 just talking so i can yeah but sometimes yeah people start talking you know the other day you know there's a black guy in my building always calling me the n word and stuff and i'm telling them about that and how it's upsetting me and people are laughing and so sometimes you just don't even know what people are going to laugh at you know but but i mean yeah i go and it's good man it's a good sense of brotherhood i mean some of the reason i get in there is because i need some structure in my life you know that was the thing like i never had anybody like my whole life i've made every decision no one's ever told me anything to do or any why to do something or not to i mean i i feel like i've never had anybody i've never listened anybody or cared to really

Starting point is 01:37:10 so you know a lot of that i'm just learning how to coexist with others and to listen to other people to take direction um and you know it's sometimes i feel like a kid again but sometimes i feel even more like a man you know and it's a journey bro and i'm happy to be on it like i'm one of those people that kind of i feel like i want to experience everything a little bit you know which may one of the reasons why i even used to do cocaine or party you know like i would put myself in crazy situations because i just wanted to have a story i wanted to experience you know i just want it i just want that i want to be a part of the story i just want something i need something you know so it's nice to try and not need something and just be but you checking out

Starting point is 01:37:50 where your man makes me feel good and you know it's things like that that make me feel supported and stuff like that and i appreciate it man and even just getting a note you know i've met some neat people through you and getting to know you and uh it's inspiring also to see some fucking hammers on the stage again you know no more of these joke writing mathematicians let's get some fucking slinging dick out there and let's see some entertainers bro i'm sick of this you need to support entertainers man we're supporting all these fucking muppets you know you gotta weigh with words brother sometimes i'm learning from you tonight man and it's good to see you leave bro i always love seeing you see i'm i'm disappointed i'm happy for you that you're going

Starting point is 01:38:30 to uh montreal but i'm going to vegas and next week so i'm disappointed but next time we would have been there together where you go to vegas friday it's your birthday this friday correct thursday yeah nice and you're between nine years old you know yes sir wow you know that that uh people at home know that i tormented them with the edibles and i explained myself last week that if i didn't do these things there's a part of me that looks at lee and he knows i love the death and i'm happy he has a girlfriend it bothers me when he talks about marriage you know because he's not ready at all by no means let's say he'll be ready when he's 34 35 he has to play this hand out he has to see if he wants to open up his own business but the other part i always

Starting point is 01:39:16 wanted lee to do something you know he's not the type that's kind of criss-crossed like thailand like well uh harry schaff here yeah lee's not gonna do nothing like that you know so the last five years i've been trying to get lee to find something that's an adventure for a little extra yeah a little something they threw him off the fucking line the uh i was not gonna throw him off the zip line people keep sending me let's not but bring it up we don't need to open up all stores but it's weird how champions of blimey you know uh i look at my life sometimes it's pitiful last night i laid down and i thought a part of my life it was so disturbing i actually had to get up and put my robot and go in the fucking office and sit there for an hour i had to actually fucking

Starting point is 01:40:04 take like a valley of a xanax a little white 2.5 because i thought about something that i don't know how i'm gonna attack something i did in my past that i could either avoid it or confront them in the next year or so and explain what i did why and maybe uh who the fuck knows and i'm tight with this person i feel fucking horrible you know i'm saying that i have to confront them and shit i bet they'll understand man i think anybody will understand coming from you you know no is that a fucking bad time and uh people do weird fucking things you know i get it i fucking get it big time this time's in your life a divorce shit like that that i went through i i didn't i didn't know that i found out years later that uh even the divorce fucked me up a

Starting point is 01:40:55 little bit that made me do wow a couple little fucking uh outlandish type things you know so i want to go straight and up with them and uh that's it man i'm just trying to put the pieces together just like you brother good for you man i'm happy you got your one thanks i got my 10 without blow dude that's huge man that is huge if you fucking think i remember there was a time that i had accepted it like in 93 once i accepted comedy i said listen part of this comedy deal is i'm not gonna fight this in the demon no more this bullshitting getting high and then for four days shaking and not it's not worth the aggravation either i'm in or i'm out i got no responsibilities i got zero responsibilities i'm a nomad i live on a pager

Starting point is 01:41:45 i got a p.o box and boulder and i got a 400 dollar a month apartment that's my bills i had a five an hour a month a nut i had a fucking car that all you had to do was change the oil and it took yeah i became a fucking nomad you know what i am and part of that nomad is that all those songs you hear about life on the road and wanted dead or alive by bon jovi or yeah that's what it became for me to become a fucking solid comic you gotta go back to fundamentals and sometimes you gotta go to hell and do comedy and really like i came out here and i thought i was johnny slick from seattle and i had enough to do spots at the store at one o'clock but i didn't really have i got eaten alive at the improv yeah between doug standover nick the palo i felt and i saw

Starting point is 01:42:35 the holes in my game and i knew to get those holes cleared you gotta go to hell buffalo you gotta go to all those towns and once you rock them you come back to Atlanta here and see what happens that's a training camp yeah and i just took everything i could michigan ohio atlanta yeah that's what i've been doing tampa you know i would do whatever i could by a myrtle beach and i lived week to week every monday i sent our faxes 200 a hundred faxes and i get a week somewhere by tuesday i get a week somewhere fucking the ovand it was crazy there was somewhere i got a week in fact i was just telling i was in st lewis last week and i went there the year before and i went to the year before with arie but before that i had

Starting point is 01:43:25 hadn't been in st lewis since 2000 wow i was on the road living like a monomad with this broad being this broader on the road is a headline of feature act we're not fucking but we're fucking like savages and snotting blow yeah but we're actually sleeping in separate hotel rooms but i would stay at her to hotel room till five we'd do everything she was crazy i loved i still do and we got a call from roger paul you know that isn't new york i think i was a kind of weak fee in st lewis call me back how much is it 500 the feature gets 250 that's it in those days we were like in fucking miami yeah we got that car and drove up to fairview heights illinois it was a hotel and then there they had a comedy club that was part of a yoda run

Starting point is 01:44:20 yoda also booked it and the owner booked it i think the guy's name was paul fucking johnny bananas over there lee knows the broad i'm talking about we walk in that place on a wednesday it's wednesday through sunday you know those places give you three beers a night those places give you three beers a night i gotta hook up for cocos i got there somebody at the club had was selling 40s for you know it was like seven tenths of a gram and i would i got an advance of 200 bucks i figured i'd walk with 300 200 would last me a whole week they gave you free breakfast at the hotel yeah the club gave you dinner so all i had a scavenger for in those days was a lunch which is a subway veggie and cheese i wouldn't like those days

Starting point is 01:45:08 bag of chips a combo was a fucking big day like you got a combo for lunch sometimes i have to get the 12 inch and eat the one for lunch and the other one for dinner yeah so if i had geetus to eat one 12 inch for lunch league those are big time days right there i was living big you know what i'm saying i got a 12 inch and shit like that living large oh my god those days i think about those days and how i lived and she kept drinking more than three beers a night yeah and she just kept putting them on the tab i can't put them on my dad and that's how they hear somebody crying in the green room they gave her a tab bro wow not a thing she drank her salary Lee damn she drank $250 and four nights how much could it be or be i have no idea she ran out of there crying

Starting point is 01:45:59 i had to give her a hundred bucks just to stop crying eat her pussy for two hours just to go to stop crying it was horrible not out of blister under my tongue yeah that sounds horrible too tremendous fucking you're really a humanitarian joe it's come on dog i'm like Muhammad Ali and the fucking stuff i love you jeff thank you the ovaan when are you gonna be what's your dates what are your plans these people love you they love when you come on they're gonna be fucking ecstatic about you about what's going on in your life yeah man i appreciate it i want to thank your fans that have come out we have a big canadian fellowship oh good i want them to go to montreal if they live close to montreal and come see you what shows are you doing this part of

Starting point is 01:46:40 montreal you know what i don't even know yet but i'll put them on on my website at theovon.com slash tour and i know it's the 27th through the 30th of july um this thursday the 20th i'll be at the house of blues where uh in san diego with sal volcano uh from impractical jokers and then august 10th through 13th i'll be in dallas at the addison improv oh shit my favorite club pork belly sandwiches across the street so i can you used to have a taco place downstairs let me tell you something like addison improv was one of my favorite clubs the new manager and me don't see eye to eye so what are you gonna do the room is good the room is fucking tremendous let me explain something me and lee both love blue apron lee tell these people about your experience

Starting point is 01:47:27 of blue apron what did you like the most about i i've loved learning how to cook and i got my dad hooked on cooking too he he's doing the family plan just for himself he loves it so much that's what he's doing every night and he does it every night he cooks it for lunch he did for lunch and dinner this beautiful thing blue apron is the number one fresh ingredient recipe delivery service in the country blue aprons mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone blue apron achieves this by supporting a more sustainable food system setting the highest standards for ingredients and building a community of home chefs do you understand me not only are you cooking but you're learning how to cook it's affordable for less than ten dollars per person

Starting point is 01:48:12 per meal blue apron will deliver seasonal recipes along with proportioning ingredients to make delicious home cooked meal choose some a variety of new recipes each week or let blue aprons kill in every team just surprise you bam lee loves to be surprised recipes are never repeated within a year so you'll never ever ever get bored they're gonna customize your recipes each week based on your preferences blue aprons has several several delivery options so you can choose which one fits your needs just like that and there's no weekly commitment so you only get deliveries when you want them ping-pang boom each meal comes with a step-by-step easy to follow recipe card proportion ingredients and that can be prepared in 40 minutes or less you can do that

Starting point is 01:49:00 take a shower check on it you know i'm saying blue aprons freshness guarantee promises that every ingredient in your delivery arrives ready to cook ready to cook or don't make it correct the moon though that's what lee said he liked about them the most check out this week's menu hit them lee oh they have a great menu this week they have spicy lamb and beef noodles there you go that come with peppercorns and uh mushrooms and then they have a seared chicken and tomatillo salsa with sweet corn and rice and then they have chili butter steaks with parmesan potatoes and spinach all right listen what i'm gonna do get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blueapron.com slash joey you're gonna love how it feels and how it tastes and you're gonna

Starting point is 01:49:44 love creating incredible home cooked meals with blue aprons so listen to me take advantage of this you're gonna love this all right that's blueapron.com slash joey again blueapron.com slash joey blueapron is a better way to cook especially if you're single you know what i'm saying why have all that stuff this is your budget this is tremendous blueapron.com slash joey listen you know me dog i'm no muscle magoo but i take my protein i take my hemp was protein seriously the alpha brain is tremendous for you especially if you want to think outside the box and the shroom tech sport if you need that little boost when you work out the gym this is what you do you know what but you got to go to honor to get that not only do they have supplements they got the bats they got

Starting point is 01:50:32 the kettlebells they got all the great stuff i can only throw you a little 10 discount on the supplements so do me a favor go to honor.com and look at the great selection of supplements they got on there they've been with me since day one i get a shipment every month i love what they send me give it a shot take a chance columbus did you're at the gym you're on your back and you just you can't breathe let me tell you something you take one of those shroom tech sports you're fucking breathing like a savage go to honor.com right now and press in church boom church and get 10 off your first order delivered to your house all right that's a deal you can't refuse again i want to thank the ovano want to congratulate him on the e-house want to congratulate him

Starting point is 01:51:15 on the Montreal comedy festival if you're up there please go to one of the shows and come over and shake his hand and tell me you heard about him in the church it makes his dick caught he's a good looking guy maybe a single you know i'm saying maybe you want to switch governments whatever yeah if you want to suck some american dick old school louisiana cock ceo vines coming to a town close to you and shit i hope you don't have a girlfriend amen i don't man i got some organized cock now he's single mingle and ready to get committed you know what i'm saying let's clap it up i love you mother fuckers wednesday 500 episode 4 p.m we have a superb guest you know i'm saying like we always got superb guests but this is a great 500 episode

Starting point is 01:51:57 he's hooking me up doing me a great favor i love you mother fuckers see you wednesday night the ice house stay black god bless you god bless you um yeah Now we're into the mercy, just bein' to destroy I'm away, I'm away It's just the hero you've been He's hiding, he's not always mine

Starting point is 01:53:17 Just show him that I hope that I'm dead Oh Welcome home, so good for you Put down the pistol, and put down the toy And then the day will come without you But never take away the reality Put down the pistol, and put down the toy

Starting point is 01:54:04 Put down the pistol, and put down the toy You've got no enemies, no fun in life The only battle's in the back of your mind You're gonna know how to change your past, so good You broke the wall until you died Put down the pistol, and put down the toy You've got no enemies, no fun in life Time is just round and round

Starting point is 01:54:34 きれしづры many a beautiful man I love to see the City of Slux You're gonna know how to change your past, so good You broke the wall until you died You broke the wall until you died You broke the wall since you army Now I'm off the rock floor I think the city needs a man on the loose

Starting point is 01:55:03 He's the shadow that's confiding with you You take no prisoners when it's hunting for game He's got a bullet in his eyes tonight You're not too late, you're not too late You're not too late, you're not too late You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me

Starting point is 01:56:01 You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me

Starting point is 01:57:47 You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me You're not in the dream, you're still in the room with me

Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #499 - Theo Von

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