Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #513 - Dean Delray

Episode Date: September 5, 2017

Dean Delray, Comedian, seen on "Maron," and the Host of the "Let There Be Talk" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:    ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church Five Four Club - Go To Fivefourclub.com and use Promo code JOEY for 50% of your first month's package plus a free pair of sunglasses.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 09/04/2017.


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today why zip recruiter has been used by businesses of all sizes to find the most qualified job candidates with the immediate results and right now my listeners cause post jobs on zip recruiter for free. Nothing. Oh gosh that's free. Just go to ziprecruiter.com slash church that's ziprecruiter.com slash church. It's September cocksuckers kick that mule Lee ain't nobody deaf here. The church what's happened now. Dean Del Rizzi better yet sugarless Dean Del Rizzi and my main Christ killer Lisa yet. Here we go kick that mule Lee 1981 a masterpiece. In your bitching.

Church what's happening now greetings. Happy Labor Day. I hope you had a great summer but guess what it's over cocksuckers. It's time to fucking buckle up the fucking belt and get to working because Christmas is right around the core corner. No more fucking around. I don't want to see nothing but assholes and elbows you understand me straight to the 26th and then you could take some fucking time off. Dean Del Rizzi always one of the hardest working men in show business. If he's not doing any trunk he's at the stand. He's at a Bruce Springsteen concert. He don't give a fuck. He's interviewing the guy from the

Grateful Dead at the studio. This motherfucker don't stop and he's 52 years old so get your shit together. And my co-host the man of steel the man of many fucking ideas Mr. Lee Syat. How you doing buddy. You know me dog tip top Magoo had a nice weekend at the beach with the family. You always have good luck. You go to the beach the hottest weekend of the year. I did the fucking mat. It don't take a swami to be from Salami. You know I'm saying. I'm sitting there in Ontario improv. It's Friday night. I'm in between two shows and KT L.E. News comes on at 10. What the fuck it is. Yeah the clock which comes on lower

earlier. One of those KT L.A. one of those fucking Puerto Rican stations. Yeah. And I start watching and they show the weather that week before and it's saying like it's 106 on Tuesday but it's gonna be between the 105 and 110 range. Fuck. So I looked at all this and I fucking sat there and I scratched my head and I go listen. There's nothing I hate more than sitting around. And the worst weeks of the fucking year in this town are the week before Thanksgiving. No. No I'm wrong. I'm sorry. The week before the 4th of July. The week before Labor Day. And the fucking week after Christmas. You want to shoot yourself in this town. Yeah.

Zero emails. No calls. Nobody calls. You basically wake up to do spots at the comedy store. That's it. Nobody takes meetings. Nobody has auditions. It drives you fucking nuts. This is why this year I hit the Portland on the 27th of December. Yeah. And I do Tuesday and Wednesday and I'm back home by Thursday and New Year's because suck my dick. That fucking club. That club is great too. That club is great. Two days after Christmas everybody's got money in their pockets. Yeah. Everybody's got to burn a home. Extra family in town. They want to get out of the house. They want to get out of the house. So that you know you got to you got to plan your way around.

They don't take a fucking genius. So the same thing I said. That's it. This week here I had jujitsu. I had writing. I had a couple things. And I had like two spots. And I'm like what am I going to do? Yeah. The store called me. I took Sunday night because it was a holiday Monday. I knew it was going to be fire. That's great. It doesn't take a genius to let you know that. Yeah. So I took Friday and Saturday and Thursday. I took the wife down to fucking one of those beaches. So one of those fucking beaches. Right. Huntington. Huntington. Yeah. And we just went online. You know I called two of my friends. I go where should I go? And they said bop bop. And one guy said well you know what? Huntington's more kid oriented. So we went

online. We got a hotel. And we looked at it at like six pools for kids and all this shit. And we fucking got three nights down there. And we shot down there. And the kid didn't get sick. And it was just I was fucking blown away by Huntington Beach. Yeah. Like I was blown away. I fucking flew over that shit Saturday night. Oh yeah. You were saying in a fucking helicopter. Oh man. It fucking burr. You know. He hits me up. He says hey. We're going to take a helicopter to San Diego. The gig. It's four hours traffic. You know. So we're going to helicopter there. And you know I get to the thing. And then I realized oh he's going to be flying it. Oh that shit my pants. And it was just you and him?

Three other people too. It was a six seater. So his instructor was there. And then his instructor's girlfriend and buddy. And this thing was like a fucking the limousine of helicopters. And then there's burr. It whipped off. We just fucking take off. And I'm thinking well you know. He's my great friend. And he's one of the greatest comics. But I've never seen a fly helicopter. And none of my friends fly helicopters themselves. And it's my first time in a copter. I'm like whoa. Yeah. I would have wanted the instructor to drive or fly. I would have been like yeah maybe let him fly. Oh no no. I was into it. I was like Bruce Dickinson man. Burr was flying us to the gig. You know. Maiden. And we were flying over

those mansions in Huntington and Hermosa. All the way down the coastline man. Just seeing the most incredible architecture. And then all the fucking people at the beaches and shit. And we were there in 56 minutes. It goes 135 miles an hour. 56 minutes. When he came back at night. And then we came back at night which was scarier. Yeah because it had the helicopter has these panoramic floor to ceiling windows. The doors are just windows. They're not like a door. So at night it looks like you're just like leaning on to the the sky. You can't see. I would have got sick. Oh man. I was fucking. I actually loved it so much that I was up all night buzzing from it. And then show us fire.

It's funny because when you told me what happened I could tell why Burr is so good as a comic. Yeah you know. I talked to him seven years ago on a plane and he was trying to learn Spanish. Yeah yeah. He's always trying to entertain his mind with something else. And that's a sign of a comic that came to a stress level one day and said whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. I need to get a fucking hobby. And we all do it. Yeah. There's there comes one day in your career at the 16th. It's maybe at the 19 year mark that you go you know what man I can't have another conversation about fucking comedy. Yeah right. I got to get new friends. Yeah. And you start dabbling outside because for the first 15 years it's all you've lived around. Yeah. It's comics. You dated comics.

You hung out with comics. You ate with comics. You lived with comics. He should breathe. Yeah you fucking he should breathe it. And then one day you go I can't do this no more. Yeah really it's really like a hit you. You're like I can't hear one more Kenison story. I can't hear one more this story. And you find the hobby. Yep. To take your mind away from the pictures and the emails and the people telling you that the podcast is great because if not you'll lose your fucking mind. Yeah. You really need something to ground you. He chose driving a fucking helicopter that's almost as scary as doing stand up. Fuck yeah. Like I said once you do stand up. Oh yeah. And your mind doing I can do anything. I fucking have a cop. I'll give you a shot. You know I can't believe

it though. You know it's so crazy like you got the foot pedal stuff which operate you know it's all this kind of shit. So the you know the top propeller is doing this and this and then the back ones are doing this and your foot and your joystick you know it's like it's fucking impressive man. You know it's I mean that shit is crazy. You know like when you look at the comics that came before us like the legends like Richard Pryor and Carlin and the other guy like Lenny Bruce their hobbies were drugs. Yep. And that was my hobby for a long time and if you look at it that's why I never fucking made it forward. My hobbies were drugs. You considered a hobby. It was a hobby. Yeah. Listen I'm writing this book right down. I'm in chapters that now as I'm writing it

I see why I was the way I was. I was telling Lee when I was 19. If I didn't have coke I'd go out and I'll sit that night. Yeah it's boring. It was boring. If there wasn't coke there I wouldn't go there. Would anybody have a package like that. Yeah at least I'm going to bring a home care. Let's go down there. At least we'll get something to get the party going. So what would you do at home. Watch TV. I knew I was dead anyway. Just fry out. Yeah. So if I had to stay home I accepted it by six seven. Yeah. And but sometimes you got to call 938 what are you doing. Can you get an eight ball bam. I'm in business. I got at least a half gram coming to me plus he'll turn me on to a couple lines. I'll come back jerk off watch TV and call it a night. You know what I'm saying. But at least

I got it. Do drug dealers ever like fake being out of it. Like does it doesn't make sense almost like why would you be out of this. You know people like really want it. Well people people fucking sell out. People ran out of blood all the time. That was brutal. Well it's telling Friday fucking night at 3 30 in the morning. You went over to like we have no more. You're like OK let's get in the car and you wanted hunted guy number two. You always had three fucking drug dealers. Guy number and then you got a guy. You had two guys and Dean had two guys. Yep. So if I ran out if I ran out of blow I had four options. One of you guys could still make a call. Yeah. Yeah. So you never ran out of blow. We always knew one guy. But this guy's down in Marina Del Rey visiting his grandmother.

He said we could come by. That's a 40 minute drive. OK. Fuck it. Looks like we're going to Marina Del Rey for the 12 pack. Oh it's in my ride with the fucking music blast and wait for a cop to pull you away. You know how like sometimes when there's a disaster or something gas prices will go up. You know when they like find bail like they have a big cocaine bust. Does that make prices go up in your area. OK. In 85 it's funny because the narcos mentioned it. But I always knew about this in 80 in 80 81 80. It was 100. Yeah. It was 100 straight up 50 for a half gram. Some motherfuckers charge you 60. Well no breaks three fifty eight ball. Right. Some guys cut it and it was 90 and 45. Right. But that's a nightmare because they either show up with 40 or 50

and now you lost an extra five hours because people love showing up with 40. I'll catch you next time. There ain't no next time. Yeah. You know what I'm saying. There ain't no next time. What the fuck are you drug dealing. It's drug dealing. But let me tell you what happened. That's interesting. And they mentioned on narcos in 85 Bush or whoever was president Reagan. Right. Reagan declared war on him and he sent the troops to Columbia. But it was too late. By that time Carlos laid there was processing coke in Cuba. Yeah. But the big problem was cocaine was very easy to bring into the States. The problem they were having was getting the ether into Columbia because you need to wash alcohol for the walks. That's a game with that fucking

when you get cocaine with the eaters. Right. And you snort that motherfucker down your throat. At least I had good googly moogly. That's the best. And you couldn't wash it in America. Not with them. No. At that time they were in that process. That was part of the process. Gotcha. So the biggest problem was getting the fucking ether into Columbia. So they started washing it with turpentine gasoline gasoline. That's the shit. That's why I think people have Parkinson's now. A lot of the people because of what they were washing it with. You know they fucking look at heavy blowheads like you know prior and the dude from fucking family ties. You know all these people do a lot of blow and it seems like they got Parkinson's.

And you know they say like gasoline you know aluminum because they would cut it with aluminum too to like hardners. And aluminum you know they say like you use it in your deodorant you can get me you know Parkinson's disease and shit. It's fucking crazy right. It's crazy. It just makes it with anything that it works. You know what I mean. That's fucking you know jungle chemist. But when that should happen from 85 to 86 cocaine prices were 18 to 2000. Okay. And it was tremendous cocaine. But that means if you sold the whole bag intact you made $800 profit. How much were you making before. I mean before you should make a thousand you cut it a little bit. That had increased it to about 1500. You took a little bit for yourself

and put it on your girlfriend's fucking monkey and ate it. All right. That that was the deal. Cocaine was so fucking high. It was anywhere from 18 to 2000 because the coke that they had they had the ether was expensive. The shit that tasted like cat piss was 14. And they re rocked it. So that took the cat piss smell away. But the next day you had a headache that was fucking horrible. It was yellow too. It wasn't white like I like that fucking white shale abalone shell looking shit. We chipped the rock and it was bluish. It looked like a bone. That shit is great. I remember reading this one thing where Ozzy said yeah man I was you know hooked on blown. We went and played at Rock and Rio in Brazil and a gram was $10 and that was for

the tourist. It was $5 for the locals for a gram. Man I would have died if it was $10 a gram. You know what I mean. Fucking because I think that's why you don't die. You run out of money. You know what I mean and you run out of blow. I tell you what I'm just happy it got out of my life man. Yeah me too. I'm happy it disappeared and never came back to catch me or even torment me whenever when I was done I was done. Me too. Me too. You know and you were scared for the first six months you're like I might fucking get a package. Yeah yeah. When you're done you're done. Yeah you are. So we're really lucky on that. It's funny you mentioned Ozzy Osbourne. He was when I heard he had a band called the Blizzard because at one time he had a he took a picture like in 76 yeah with

Black Sabbath but he had a white shirt and it said the Blizzard of Oz on it. That's what you're saying. Yeah and I went nuts. When I saw that shirt that man that gave me a green light to snort with three hands you know Snow Blind already had me all fucked up but now he was talking about men clapped in song and I went to see Nazareth and Nazareth did a cover of it during their tour one year in 1982. Wow. It was fucking one of the best versions of cocaine I ever heard acoustic. Wow. Acoustic Nazareth. That guy's voice was incredible. For that jam for that song he was really fucking good that night. I wasn't a big big fan of that guy. Oh I love that guy. I liked Telegram and Telegraph whatever the fuck it was. There was a couple jams he had that were all right but after

three or four songs he got on my fucking nerve. Hair of the dog man. Hair of the dog. It was a popular fucking album. Yeah. You know we grew up around good music we were very fortunate that even the bad bands had three or four good fucking jams you know. Yeah. I still remember thinking that fuck a year ago I was listening to the wall and now I'm listening to whole notes I can't go for that. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm enjoying it. I can't lie to you you know. I was listening already on Speedway today. Yeah that's a great album. That's a great one. That's a great album. That's a great album. High infidelity. High infidelity. You know I still listen to Greg Kinn. Oh. If I hear Jeopardy. Oh I had him on the podcast. Or the other one. I fucking go nuts. What a sweetheart of a guy.

That guy's a fucking soldier. I was supposed to do this up Cobbs. Yeah. And I got a radio request to do Greg Kinn. I'm looking at the name and I'm like nah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I call up like it wasn't before the interview even started. So you're the guy in 1982 and he goes yup and I go let me tell you something. I went to see you. Yeah. I forget who you opened for. You opened like for the go-go's or something. Yeah right. It was somebody like that effect but he had two jams that were tremendous. That guy's fucking great. I had him on a year ago. He was playing the whiskey. I interviewed him at the hotel for two hours. Fucking stories go along. Lots of blow told great blow stories. Then I went to the whiskey and watched him as Sun's in the band and they were

fucking tearing it up. Where were you when I needed you. You know and he got all that big money again when we're in fucking what's his name. I lost on Jeopardy. You know Al Yanke at Weird Al did his song and he got big bump again in cash. They got divorced and divorced and you know but fuck he's out there doing it still. He was that song. All those songs. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking had me. What did I fucking hear today. That was like Jesus. This still rings over 20 years. Human League. Oh yeah. Don't you want me baby. Oh I love that one. I fucking every time I hear that song two minutes saying I get goosebumps and no matter what I'm thinking about or what I'm doing I think there was a certain time in my life at night where I was at a club in the city. Yeah. I just I didn't

graduate high school with all my friends that I was supposed to graduate but I dropped out. Yeah. And we're all in the city. We're all hate allude and this was a club that was three floors and every floor was different. So the first floor was like rock music. Right. The second floor was like punk music and the third floor was disco. Yeah. Okay like where you went up to dance and to get back down you got to go down a sliding pond. Wow. So it was a pretty cool and they had matches on the side because people would get fucked up. It was called like the fun house. Yeah. All right. Madonna used to always go there and sing in 83 and 82. Wow. There was a couple places she would go to. This was one of them and I didn't listen guys. I'm not telling you the story because

I don't got at this place. We had just graduated high school. I was making a ton of money robbing on the street robbing drug dealers. Everybody wants to go. Everybody was a drug deal. Yeah. At least I would come to me when they go. Can I talk to you for a second. My brother just called me. He's got a kilo of coke in the house. You know anybody who wants it. No I don't. And guess what I did in two days Rob Lee's brother's house. They didn't know what they were doing. They put it under the bed and go get a sandwich and leave the back window open like that. That's how it was Lee. Everybody said wait a second. They went home. They did the math and they said I could do that. Yeah. I could sell coke. Right. Wait a second. All I got to do is go to the comedy store

with an ounce and bag it up and sell it for 100 bucks and unload it. I could sit there all night and just sell it to comics. Yeah. Now one cop you go to the comedy store back in the 80s. Now you would sell an ounce a night. My buddy sold below five nights a week at the store in the 80s and that's how I started hanging there. He'd be like we got to stop here and we would pop in here and my other buddy was dating the head waitress and I'd be watching comedy in the main room and he'd go I'm done and then we'd just drink there all night just fucking coked up drinking stay at that riot house next door for like eighty seven dollars up all night drinking fucking rum and doing sacks of below at the store man in the 80s. That's crazy. I know right. Guys in prison

right now. I was going to say how many people are in prison then. Yeah. Just for like oh my buddy asked so I started telling him coke and it just sort of happened. Well you know man as when anything else things get sloppy. Yeah. Especially if you start doing the powder. Like if you're a businessman and you're like I just move it which means you're getting the kilos for sixteen five. You're chopping them up and you give them to Lee and Lee gives you twenty eight thousand per. Yeah. That's it. That's what you do in exchange. Nobody knows nothing and then once you get Lee you get another guy like Lee and you get three leaves four leaves five leaves six leaves and guess what Lee he's making sixty thousand a month and he doesn't even

have to talk to anybody. His only fear is you getting arrested and ratting. Yeah. And that's what happens. You're cool. You have Dean. Dean's a musician. Dean goes out every night. You give Dean the grams already cut up and measured. You give Dean twenty eight and Dean gives you back fifteen hundred and Dean will come over four nights a week and keep you in pork chops and chocolate cake for the rest of your fucking life. Again now you're going to get four deans. How much does Dean make. Don't worry about what Dean makes. Yeah. Dean makes twenty eight take away fifteen thirteen hundred. Okay. Dean's not going to make thirteen hundred because he needs three of those grams to sell that coke. Dean is a businessman. Dean needs a couple grams for himself. He's going

to sell a gram to a girl. Bring a home robber get his dick sucked and put it around her way. It's a fucking lifestyle. Yeah. You go to a place. Everybody at that place knows you. As soon as somebody comes up to you and says hey my friend wants to buy two ounces of blow you go home. You light everything on fire. Yeah. You throw away your fucking scale and you don't know nothing for a month. You disconnect all your numbers and you start all over again in six months. What is that. What does a lifestyle mean. What do you mean it's a lifestyle. Well you know what. Those dealers on the low level they become like these small minded rock stars where they're got so many people like the love the attention. You know like they're nobody

and then all of a sudden they're like I go in this bar. Everybody wants to talk to me and they get addicted to that you know that fucking that that thing of like he's here. I still talk to two of my ex drug dealers and I've been clean from cocaine nine years. I talked to two out of the three of them that I had. I had four. I still talk to two out of the four. The one guy is a smart motherfucker and I know he always was. He always was this day one. That's why I hooked up with him. I liked what he did. He wasn't reckless. He was a boozer. Yeah. But he wouldn't answer the phone those two days. He's one of those guys. Yeah. That's two days. After a day I knew that he was fucked up on the couch like Denzel. He would get fucked up by Denzel. He's black and a man on fire. A man on fire.

So yeah. Not regular Denzel. Yeah. I would knock on the door and he kind of get up and ask me what I was doing and I go come on dog. I love you. What I tell you don't come over here when I don't answer the fucking phone. What do you want motherfucker? Come on. Just give me two grams. You got my money. I'm 10 short. See you come over here when I'm fucked up trying to relax and shit and 10 short. 10 short. Yeah. But he always gave it to me and then I had the Armenian guy and I always talk to him because he's got kids. Yeah. And we cross paths now all the time. We talk on the slide. He's still dealing. Yes. Wow. That's hot. Tremendous. Yeah. But he has his own little Armenian crew. Yeah. He gets it from his little Armenian drug lords over

there in Glendale. Yeah. And he just sells to Armenians. He says he doesn't even go over the hill anymore. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't go to El Compagno anymore. Yeah. But he's got a nice car. He's got nice clothes. He goes away on the weekends. You know he shares the kids with his wife. Yeah. So when he goes he goes. He's another guy that he starts on Friday and he'll call me on Sunday and go. I was just thinking about you because I saw the joke joke on Showtime about it. Yeah. Yeah. I used to have a whole bit about it. Yeah. Because I had been here for probably 10 years. No. No. I'm lying to you. I got here in 97. I met those cats in about 99. And before that I had policies for drug dealers. Oh. Oh. I had this white dude. They

called white lightning. White lightning. He was a half a fag. Terrible. And I had this other dude who always fucking complained. He was a Jew and Jesus Christ. You know it was always a fucking deal. He lived right in Hollywood by the guitar signer. Oh yeah. And there was always a problem. But he was from New York and he was cool. But I had to say something to him one day like brother you're a coke dealer. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Why do you get mad when we fucking call you. It was always a bad time. And when I get what people who would buy from him. Yeah. They'd always come to me and go what's his problem. I go I don't know. You introduced me to him. Yeah. I don't know what his fucking problem is like. He makes you feel bad. What are you calling me for. Why are you calling

me. Why are you calling me. Yeah. Why are you calling me. Because we want to buy fucking blows. Yeah. So I got rid of that fucking guy. I had nobody. Fucking white lady. And then I met the brothers up by the Martel Cartel. Yeah. I met them through white lightning as a matter of fact. White lightning took me over to one day and said listen I'm going on a commission for a few weeks. I'm going on the ground. Hang out with the Martel Cartel. And it was two of the biggest blackest, ugliest motherfuckers you saw in your life. Yeah. And the first couple of times I went over there. It wasn't no love between us. They would search me and shit. Oh yeah. And make me feel fucked up. They would say. You wear the wire. No. They would go. You coming over here telling us

you're Cuban and shit. You really want those mafia motherfucking informants and shit. You saw I knew you needed shit. And they would bust my balls. And I went over there about four or five times. And then I went over there six times and they were all stitched up. Yeah. Including the white dude. They were stitched up. And I had cash and I was buying the coke. I got to ask you guys a question. What the fuck happened to you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they said man these black motherfuckers came over here the other day and fucking tied us up and took our shit. Wow. So we start going back and forth. At the time I found the gun. I found the gun. I found a gun. And I lived in that. Sure. We'll just skip over that. And I lived at Toronto. I love that one.

And I lived at the Ralphie May building. Yeah. Oh yeah. Over there. That's where my crew lives. Steve Henry, Lucas Hurl. That whole building. Yeah. Behind Elk and Padre. Oh no. What's the one you lived over there by the one by the hostel? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I lived there. This was way before the hostel. Oh okay. The hostel was when I stayed there when it was a hotel. Right. And then I moved by the hostel. Right. In 2000. In that apartment building. In August of 2000. Right. With my girlfriend at the time. But before that when we talking about Ralphie May. What? Yeah. I thought he lived in there too. No. He lived there. Different building. We all lived on Schrader. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Yeah. It was Schrader. Yep. It's Schrader next. The guitar center is Schrader. It's like orange. Vista. Yeah. You got Vista. Sierra Bonita. Yeah. Kersan. Right. And whatever that street is there. Right. Right. Right. There were four streets. Now those are the guys. If you don't know Hollywood. That's those four little streets there. If you live in between that. It's dark in there. Your life is complete. You got a gym. Yeah. You got Justin's Fortress gym. You got that Italian place that makes pizzas on the corner. You got Guitar Center. I don't. You got Guitar Center which is a fucking listen. You don't know what fun it is till you go to Guitar Center. Oh I love watching fools in there. Watching fools in there. Yeah. Or heavy metalists go in there with

tight pants. I always say if you want to pick up on a chick just go in there because the dumbass boyfriend brings him in there and the boyfriend's just playing in his own world and the girl's just like oh god you're never going to be in a band and you just roll up and go hey you want to get lunch and just move on. Take a mic to the sunset grill. Right there. With Don Emily saying about. Yeah. That's a fucking crazy neighborhood there but that's that building there. Yeah. Used to be fucking hell. Yeah. Used to be. How do we start talking about that building. Oh no. Oh we were talking about those guys got robbed. Yeah they got robbed. So I found the gun in that building. Oh yeah. And there was a chick that lived in the building that you could go to a house right where God

rest his soul. She just died about six months ago. So I took the bathroom mirror off the one that stayed on the wall. Yeah. And it had a medicine cabinet. I put the gun back there and I never used it. I wiped my prints off and I just saved them back there for a rainy day. Yeah. And fucking I found like three guns in that building. Really. Yeah it was tremendous. Wow. I hate to be rude but is that how she died by leaving guns over on her. She died by a different gun alcoholism. So I went over there and I like these black dudes. Yeah. I like black people. I don't want to see them beat up and jumped. So I went over there the next day and I go listen I don't know you you don't know me but here. How the fuck do you people sell drugs. I ain't got a gag around this motherfucker. Yeah.

You know that's that's one on one. Yeah. There's a drug. I got two black guys on the white one. Let the white guy hold the fucking piece. Yep. That's it. Anything happens. The white guy shooting your fucking gun. And but they had the whole security system was bad. Yeah. I got to close that door and haven't buzzed yet. They had the thing that you walk in. I go close that door. Well Pete I don't give a fuck with people like you guys want to sell blown be successful. Yeah. You know I'm saying I rather make the DEA jump over the fence than just walk in. Yeah. That extra two minutes one of them getting caught on the bob wire flush. That makes that saves me. That gives me a flush even though they shut the water off. Yeah. When they rage you know that right. Yeah.

So you can't flush and shut the water off half hour before they rage. That's how you know you're getting raided. Yeah. You turn on the water. There's no water. You better take that blow and light it on fire. If you feel like a big guy do you have someone like just doing the water every 20 minutes. What do you mean. Turn it on. In the morning because they're going to rage at six in the morning to catch you off guard. You wake up to piss you flush. Yeah they catch you early in the morning so you're not going to wake up. They know you wake up at nine. So shut the water off at a quarter of a fucking six and lay the warrant on you at six o'clock they're knocking on your fucking door. Fuck. That's scary. I live in the Armenian. I never like I swear to God. I was a

coke fiend. Yeah. And I lived on Vista with Josh Wolf. Yeah. And I would detest El Compadre. Oh yeah. Detest it. You don't like it? At that time. Okay. There was something about it that wouldn't make me go in there. The truth of the matter was I didn't want to see my uncle. Yeah. When my uncle first when I came out of here in like 75 my uncle played the Congress at a Mexican restaurant and he took me there. Both of the nights I was in town with him and they gave me salsa and I started crying and shit. I was like seven dog. Yeah. Yeah. They gave me like like the hottest salsa they had with jalapeno juice and shit in it. Talking with you. Yeah. It went through my skin. I think I touched my dick. I cried for like four days. But I thought it was

El Compadre and I go what if I go in and he's playing the Congress. I'm going to hit him in the head with a bow. And then people kept telling me dog there's a dude that has a good fucking blow and he gets coked up and just gives you like a gram and a half or 30 bucks and he's Armenian. I went in there one day and boom there he wasn't. I started talking to him when I liked this guy. He was my type of drug deal. He would get into fist fights at El Compadre. Wow. And say funny things to people. When the funniest things I ever heard him say was what's the expression when somebody throws you out of their club. It's 86. And one night he was talking to this dude named Eric. Eric kept busting his balls about something

that the coke and he goes listen to you know what from now on you're 86 from me. You're from me. Yeah. From 86 from me. You're 86 from me. Ha ha ha ha. But they are 86 from me. He was gacked up one night to the gills with some broads and he's telling me he's going back to school on Monday. I never laughed so hard in my life. And these three white chicks bought the story hook line in Sinka. I'm on the floor fucking rolling. Yeah. I loved him. When I from the first year I did business with him it was hilarious. If I even thought about getting the package and I looked at my clock and it was three twenty I would call that number and my brother he would answer it and go

I'm in your neighborhood. Ha ha ha. And I don't know you're not. Yeah yeah. And he goes yes come downstairs. I was just thinking about you. So for six months I would call him at all hours in the night and he would hit me with the I was just thinking about you. Oh man. I hadn't heard from you you know that type of shit. Yeah yeah yeah. Dog I had to write a bit he was solid. Yeah. I had never had a drug deal like that. I could call him at quarter to five in the morning and he would say are you at home. Yes. Give me 15 minutes. Wow. I love that. When he was fucking downstairs he'd beat me. I had a beeper in those days. Yeah yeah. I'd run down I get the powder from him. I could front from him. He was tremendous. That's great. My showtime thing

I'll pay off so that whole three minutes about him. Yeah. So he puts it on with his family his mother his father and also I'm saying this and he turned the volume up. Oh shit. He was all excited at first. Yeah yeah. Look it's my friend. Yeah yeah. He's talking about me. He's talking about me and I'm up there saying yeah he's got the best coke. He rides a bicycle with a missing battle because he is. He's Armenian. He's fucking a nut. He don't give a fuck Jack. Yeah. But those are my two favorite drug dealers and I still have contact with them. God bless you. Oh my god. Do you send each other like birthday cards or something? Like what do you do? Yeah. Me and me and the black dude call each other for all the holidays. I'm tight with his

mother and his mother's is over with this. It's hilarious. So whenever he's by his mother's house he puts his mother on the phone. I never listen. Besides being my drug dealer he was a friend as much. Yeah. And I know a lot of people at home don't do drugs and don't understand where I'm coming from. He was my friend because I had an addiction and he knew it. He didn't help create it. Yeah. I couldn't blame him but I might have met him. I already had the problem. He'd always keep me alive. Yeah. Like even when I owed him hundreds and I go to his house with a bullshit story I'd do like a tea show and I had from the store he'd go dog clean up the fucking grind to whatever's in there is yours and I would clean it out and get three quarters of a gram and zip out of there.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like wow. You know he always took care of me and then when I started getting money dog I started giving him hats with five hundred dollars. Yeah. Every time he'd see me I'd give him five hundred dollars because I owed him an excess of two thousand dollars. I had them all the way up there. Wow. Was it weird when you saw them like getting like fancy stuff? Like if you saw a drug do you look at a new car? You're like fuck I paid for that car. He still doesn't have a car. I never even thought of that stuff. He ubers everywhere. I would just ride in the cars with him. Before that he took cabs everywhere. Yeah. He takes cabs. He has a white girl from the driving places. He had a little strip club going for a while like three or four white strippers that you could tell

their dads beat him up when he was missing a tune. Oh. You laughed. They lived up at the Hollywood Hills. Yeah. I would have to go like to. It's not a funny situation. It's funny how you describe it. Like the second year I was dealing with him he moved out of the Martell Cartel because the one black dude the bigger guy got a Russian girlfriend and he went to war with the Russian girlfriend. He moved there in so he broke away from the Martell Cartel and I went with him. I took his back. He rode and he moved to these three fucking strippers in the valley. Wow. Like some dirty fucking strip club up here in Van Nuys or something. Yeah. There's a dirty one out there. Right. Whoa. I never been up there and there's two sisters. I never been in them but I'll drop by them and you're just

like look at those places. I'm Van Nuys Boulevard. Yeah. There's like. Because I know the car dealers and shit. Like the way out there I think. Yeah the way out there and then if you take like a left into the industrial area over there there's like two three in the industrial area. Like look at these strip. Like I was going over there to interview a guy that builds amplifiers and he goes you see this strip joint. There's fucking hundreds of people here at night and it's just in this like you know like warehouse. What's the one next to the Pigley Wiggly. The Hoggy Woggy. Yeah. I don't know. Up in the fucking the heart of Van Nuys or some bad neighborhood receda. It's good barbecue but that's a bad strip club. I shot a movie in

there. Yeah. Hoggy. Dr. Hoggy Woggy. You know the little Pigley Wiggly. Pigley Wiggly. One of those fucking things. I don't know. But there's this weird strip joint. It's all over there. And then you have the one by here that I hear is kind of crazy but I don't know. But I know like John Evan had a Jiu Jitsu school in North Hollywood. You know the part of North Hollywood you never go to. Oh yeah. Oh behind like. Yeah. This is where they shot Sons of Anarchy and shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's just scary up there. Yeah. Yeah. He had a Jiu Jitsu school back there and that night there was a strip club that had a valet in front of it. Yeah. This neighborhood's a fucking dump. Oh yeah. But I bet you go up there for 200. Don't give you fucking Chlamydia.

Oh yeah. Suck your dick. Cheaper than that. Don't have you scratching for a week. You know what I'm saying. Fuck yeah dude. Those joints are weird out there man. Yeah. Whenever I drive around out there in the valley like behind the Burbank airport or behind the what's the big Ford Ford dealer over there off of Van Nuys they're like a famous one. I forget what they're called. They're famous Ford. Yeah. The side streets there man is gangster. They're like I think like six years ago Van Nuys had the murder capital of all of Southern California. Just that area man. It was like wars going on. It's scary up there. Yeah. Absolutely. It's definitely scary up there at night. Somebody told me they got. Oh yeah. Well it's a little guy on fire on the park bench

on Van Nuys Boulevard about three years ago. Yeah. Right around Christmas a guy was sleeping waiting for the bus. You're out of here. Somebody poured gasoline in them little on fire up there. Have you guys ever driven around those streets around LAX? Oh that's just crazy. That is crazy. There's weird strip joints around there too. There's probably strip. Oh yeah there's probably definitely strip joints. Yeah. But when I was in Uber for two weeks once. Yeah. And like that we think there's a lot of people living in vans around here. There's like blocks and blocks of people in tents. Yeah. And just it's creepy. Why are they put like all right so you fly that way. You're here for business or you're here for a two day stay. Yeah. You check into the hotel. You

call your wife. You kiss the tell the kids to go to bed and then you creep over to one of those dirty strip clubs on the airport. Yeah. They wiped out all those bums Lee. Somebody bought that property. Oh yeah. You bought it. The LA airport LAX bought it and there's like thousands of home was over there sleeping in in cars and everything. And they just wiped them all out said you're out of here because they're going to make more parking over there like off off site parking. And man I was watching them show it on the news. There's fucking thousands of people over there. And that and that I like it. It's obviously weird to see and it makes you uncomfortable sometimes but I've never been homeless and then I don't like when they do that when they go in and they

like destroy the tents. Yeah. Throw it away. Oh yeah. With like with like forklifts and just like you're out of here. Yeah. I don't like that. That's what I'm crazy. What are options. I mean you're trying to. Oh yeah. No I get that. I get it. You're trying to beautify a fucking city. You know what I was trying to tell you before when you're a child and you know it's the same way you look at New York. Yeah. It's the same way you look at New York when I take you pick up a Kennedy and I take you to let's say it was 1985. I take you to the Bronx. Yeah. And really shocked the fuck out of you. After a minute you're like where's Times Square. Yeah. It's the Statue of Liberty. Yeah. The Statue of Liberty in my world. You know what I'm saying. Well when we

were growing up on the East Coast I don't know how we felt but I saw beaches and palm trees and people rode skating down a path or riding a bicycle down a path surfing. So surfing you know you saw Disneyland but basically this is what you see when you're growing up in Jersey. Yeah. This is what you think of. So finally when I was like seven I came out here and my uncle lived in Glendale at the time and the residential area that they were just building there and he still lives in the same place. Well 40 fucking years later but it looked different but for some reason he worked towards the beach. So the three or four days I was here I was down by the beach. Yeah. And I got to see the beach from afar and he would

drive on Pacific Coast Highway and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Okay. And this is I came two times when I was a kid. Fast forward to 84. The Olympics were going to be here. Oh yeah. I came back again this time. I went to his bar on Washington Boulevard right after Koreatown. Oh all right. Yeah. Towards downtown. Yeah. You make a left on that Washington Boulevard you hit the court you hit the downtown courthouse and shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. That is a horrible part of town. Totally. So at that time I come out here in 84 and I still had that vision of Los Angeles and the beaches and you know that path of the people riding the bicycle and girls running with bikinis you know. But now I'm watching the inner guts of Los Angeles. Yeah. Which is Washington

Boulevard down the block from Koreatown which in 1984 was basically a fucking dump. Yeah. Absolutely. He was surrounded by a bunch of places where you chopped up cars. He just had a Mexican restaurant or a Mexican bar with a little restaurant and people that were illegal could go in and pay for a seven dollar Budweiser but nobody bothered him. Yeah. He paid the cops off not to come in so he charged seven of Budweiser. You know those Budweiser's those Mexican drinks. Oh yeah. My uncle got two Mercedes Benz his cars paying his house. Seven dollar Budweiser's in 84. But no my point is that I saw that part of LA. I remember looking in the paper and asking around how do we get to this place that like you gotta take two buses and then you have to and I'm like

fuck this place. First of all this place looks like a bomb. It's like if I bring you to LA now and the first thing I do is go on Burbank Boulevard. Yeah. Take you by Denny's and Lancashire and then go fucking that direction. Yeah. And you see all those old buildings. Like by your old studio. Yeah. Like you're like yes. Yeah. Old old old no no no no not that part of Lancashire. Right. I'm talking the other side of Burbank Boulevard East. Don't make a left there. Go east. Right. That place looks like it's 1954. Yeah. From there straight to Victory Boulevard. Right. It looks like 1954. And I still think this and it's probably just because of the desert. But it looks dirty. Like especially like West LA. It is filthy. It's just it's airplane fucking

exhaust and car exhaust and human dirt and everything out there man. Nothing's been sprayed down. Do you remember the first time someone explained to you what this mug was and showed you. I do. It was fucking gross. It's still gross when you notice it sometimes. First time I saw it was on a plane. You see it when you land on LAX. Yeah. Five out of ten times. If you land on the right day. Yeah. Yeah. You're like Jesus Christ. And you know what then you look straight ahead and you say I'm going to die and you accept it for what the fuck it is. That's it. That's the truth of the matter. Listen any metropolitan city you go to you're inhaling something bad. I went down to the ocean the other day jumping the ocean come out go back to the room and smell

yarn. You know what you smell like. You smell like 2000 years of piss sperm. Yeah. Dead bodies. Diarrhea. Diarrhea. God knows what's in that fucking ocean. Old Taco Bell. I fucking getting that thing. I boiled myself in that fucking shower. Fuck yeah. That kid I boiled up. I took the sand out of it. I still got a rash on my foot. You know the fucking beaches. There's no out there. You don't know what you don't know. There's come jing. Oh my god. And then missiles into the fucking Pacific Ocean. Yeah. Yeah. How long to that missile juice. Yeah. Comes floating into the Pacific. And you know you go eat sushi and that's what you're eating. Oh the old nuclear stuff from the Japan meltdown. Nothing that you know. That's out there right now. Nothing that

you're reading is fucking safe. No. Nothing. I don't care if you're grown at your house somewhere along the line. There's some form whether it's old dirt. Yeah. It's fucking the nightmare right now. Yeah. Water. It really fucking is. Water. Yeah. And this bottle of water they've made billions. Wow. There's three fat Jews somewhere in Israel. Yeah. Doing high fives right now. Surrounded with fucking $50 bells going. Yeah. They believe they want this. Same guys that sold those fake Eclipse glasses. Their eyes are fried. These are real. You just put them all like I'm working at the sun. These are bottom on the street corner. These are all right. Your fucking eyes are gone. Oh. We live in strange fucking world now. Yeah. Yeah. Really fucking

is a strange world. But you know what man. I'm still good. I'm on Chateen Del Rizzy. And like I said you know I think about 10 years ago I made a constant decision to tell people to go fuck themselves and they would call me on the phone. Yeah. And all they would do is bitch. I had a bunch of people in my life that every fucking week I had to put them together because this game wasn't fair to them and why it was fair to them and I got movies and it wasn't fair to me and one day I just started telling these people to go fuck themselves. Yeah. And you know what the word got out. Don't even bother them with that topic because he's not going to fucking do nothing. And nobody bothers me no more. Yeah. And from time to time I bumped into different

comedians that they have no idea what they have going on. So they bitch. They have no idea that I'd rather have them have a journey. They got a TV show at ABC when they don't know what they're doing. They lose that show now. You float around for a while and then you're like what the fuck. Yeah. You know everything comes at the right fucking time. You're one of those guys that's just relentless. Yeah. And you know I tip my hat to you type of guys. You know I hear you're on any trunk. You're all over the place you're doing spots at the stand. You know you jump on a fucking plane to do spots. Yeah. I have people that won't fucking get in the car to do a spot and will call you Lee and tell you everything that's wrong with life. But this guy's driving down

to LAX sitting in row 22D. Yeah. Next to three escape cons from fucking Detroit to the handcuff next to a fucking Marshall. He'll take his hat. He'll put his little iPad on. He'll go to sleep. Three days he'll crash on his friend's house. Two days of Airbnb. One night he won't get a hotel till 1115 because that's when they eat on our hotel. Drops to 2850. He's got the 12 o'clock and then he gets a free buffet. Dean Del Rizzy finds a way. You know what I'm saying? And I tip my hat off to him because if I was single now without a child I'd be banging it out with you. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be awesome. You and I. Fuck you Joey. I'm out nine weeks. Well fuck you. I'm staying out an extra week bitch. Yeah. Yeah. It's winter time. I'm sleeping in a shelter.

I'm paying my dues motherfucker. You know like I'm always super positive and then finally a couple of weeks ago I just snapped. This guy was just like talking shit like yeah man. I mean you know fucking it's hard man. You know you got you got to fucking me and I was like dude you're 26. I'm 51. I got diabetes evicted from my apartment and ran over on my motorcycle. I'll just fucking tell you hard dude. Try doing it a 51 with fucking broke ribs and no apartment. You know what I mean? Like what? I'm out of an apartment. You know what I'm saying? That's fucking hard. At 26 I eat dirt. Whatever. You know what I mean? It's just whatever. It's fucking crazy. People just want shit for free. You know. Or they don't want to do the work.

Nope. And I knew when I got here that I was not worthy of walking these streets. Mitchie you're going to call me for some time and go who fucking passed this fucking lunatic. And people go I don't know. Mitchie must have been on pills. I was one of those guys. Like I was one of those guys I called her off guard. She started giving me spots and people were asking like why does he get spots though? Yeah. Fucking heart rate of these fucking faties up there sweating up a storm. You could smell the coke coming out of his pores and shit. Yeah. I just kept showing up down there. That's it. When I got here I was long in the teeth man. Yeah. Me too. I was long in the fucking tooth. My manager would get people to come see me and

they go what are you fucking crazy. He's 150 fucking years old. I always say if you want to get a comedy central deal just be on a showcase with me because I'll murder and they'll be like he's 50 and then they'll just grab somebody else. It's like 24. I got here when I was 34 and I was already fucking old. Yeah. Like you're already past that fucking WB. Yeah. Once you pass the WB like that age what's the other one WB and there's the other one where kids shows are on. Oh Nickelodeon. No. Oh. Disney. No. Same thing as WB only. TBS. No. Jesus Christ guys. I don't know. There's another one that has those type of shows. C.B. C.T.S. it's Channel 11. Channel A. Not Fox. It's Fox but it's a different one. It doesn't matter. Right. Once you're past that Buffy group at the time.

Yeah. You were dead and they told you to your face. Like you were dead. Like it's never going to happen to you. Then I'm like wait a second. What a fucking you kid. Tool time was a thousand years old and so was the fat dude from the glasses from Ohio. Yeah. From Cleveland. These motherfuckers all fucking long. Tim Hillen and Drew Carey. They were all fucking long in the tour. All the guys I loved were like the C.K. Yeah. Comedy is universal. Yeah. There's no age limit. You can talk and you can think and you have emotion and you have an opinion and you can put them all together and make logic fucking comedy never goes away. Delia and I were just talking about it last night where like he was like dude you've gotten somewhere in like seven and a half years and it's

mostly because this world we live in now podcasting and YouTube and Instagram and all that you can make your own world. At least I had how many people in the last two years did you have as clients that you sat with them broke it down for them and after three weeks they didn't do it at all or they fell apart at the same. The majority of them. I mean I mean we've had conversations with the majority of people not even clients out of town. The best compliment I ever got was from league. I'm even told Paula. Joey Diaz is fucking crazy. I think he's crazy but Jesus Christ he's not he's there. We're here. This is what we do. I don't know who knows to do. Yeah. I see you tweeting. I see you you know put the great Paul Mooney once said to entertain you have to be entertained. So like

two or three nights a week you go to fucking shows. Yeah. You know that's very important. Yeah. You know I smoke pot and zone out in YouTube and all our old live performance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know sit down watch Rainbow with the one singer. Yeah. You know YouTube has rare fucking shit. I love it. And then I go through cycles all year long. I go through different cycles. I go from whether it's Kenneth to Eric Clapton to Zepp like now I'm back. I haven't been on Zepp on about a year. Oh I'm back there too. No I have not been there. Oh yeah. I have not been there. I got into the Bond Scott thing for about two weeks. Yeah. Just Bond Scott all the videos by Bond Scott poor bastard. He couldn't even lip sync. He was so bad. No. I think he just didn't want to. Yeah. Yeah. He's

like fuck this. I'm the real deal. Yeah. He was like I'm the real deal. You could tell he was 10 years old and everybody's crazy and just fucking lit. There's a guy long in the tooth man. Fucking meaty around young fucking kids. It's funny. I was listening to Eddie Trunk and that crew the other day and they were talking about some interesting shit that eventually you know Gunsham Roses who was the most popular band on the road. Yeah. Yep. Most money this year. Most money this year. I guess they'll stop touring like this is it. This is the last leg like they're going back to New York in November. Yeah they're doing the fucking forum six nights. Yeah. So now they're going to finish and then

Axel's going to like one tour with AC DC. Well that's the rumor. We'll see. You know what I mean. Nobody knows what AC DC is going to do right now. That's the rumor but did you see Brian Johnson sang with the Muse last week. No. Yeah. So and Eddie Trunk and I were talking about we feel like he was playing his card without saying AC DC fired me. You know they're like well his hearings out. He can't do it. And he was like basically went out and sang with this band the Muse. He did back in black and it killed and that's his way of saying nah man without saying it. He's like I'm fine. I'm over here. So now it's put a ripple I think in the AC DC camp because he didn't go away quiet you know. He sang back in black killed it fucking Europe last week. I gotta

be honest. Yeah. Like I said once I had once I heard that for those who are about to rock. Yeah. Yeah. That was when I put the AC DC casket down. I could lie to you and tell you. Yeah. I think he is laying out like thunder struck. Yeah. They put in the longest yard but I was done with AC DC. I hear something off highway the hell. I hear something off power range or something. Oh yeah. It brings a tear to mind. I can't lie to anybody but you brought you really got me watching him again. Yeah. And I finally made the conclusion. I told you I wanted a podcast. I finally made the conclusion that I did not like him and I thought about it. Yeah. I think he was great and he sold me in 81. Right. 80 and 81 both of those times he sold me. You know back in black today is almost

as popular as it was when it was released. It's crazy. It's like a thriller. Back in black and thriller. I hear put a drink on me. Yeah. Yeah. Have a drink on me. Yeah. Back in black. Yep. And Hell's Bells twice a week. Shook me on that one. Every fucking week on serious stations. Shook me on that one. Whether it's fucking Ozzy's Boneyard or Hand Nation. I hear both of those fucking songs but it's popular. Now you have to go back to summer of 80. Yeah. When they released that every party you go to that happened was on and it went on to fucking something else got popular and then that was a year later you know. So I remember when that album came out I couldn't wait for it to go away. Yeah. Like I just couldn't wait. It was like I was growing up in like an

argument camp. Like it was Van Halen now. Then once AC DC came back fuck you Van Halen. Yeah. Van Halen came out with Van Halen too. It was a bouncer that was back and forth that people understand. I had the great Eddie Bravo once in a green room and he was telling me how his neighborhood struggle was all the bands against him and his brother for having kiss albums. Oh yeah. So whatever kiss came out with a new album he would have to sneak it into the neighborhood under his shirt you know and go home and throw it under his bed like he was a communist. Yeah. And then later on when all the kids went inside he would put it on in his room with earphones on you know shirt like that. Love gun. The shit that we do for all of our music. It's crazy.

I'll tell you what Joey to me and this is me. You don't like Brian Johnson and I just was. Yeah. He sold me the bill of lady at the time. Right. Right. And now after 30 years I have the right to say that I miss Bonskine. Yeah. Absolutely. I do too. I got tattooed on my side. Yeah. That's what I meant to say. But fuck man. I look at it as if Brian Johnson ACDC was a band that and Bonscott never existed. Just these three records back in black. Those about to rock and flick of the switch. I'm hooked on these records again man. And how was flick of the switch. That fucking record is fire man. I gave it to Marin and I got this record is underrated. It would be any other band's best record of all time. I listen to it. Oh man. It's listen.

You put you I put on some Brian Johnson shit. Yeah. I gotta tell you something. The performances they were doing were fucking brilliant killer. I mean it would you turn me on to one somewhere. Oh Japan. Somewhere. And I went on like a sixth video run of them in ginormous. Venues. I'm talking about arenas. Yeah. And their light show. The timing. The way the lights hit Angus. The way he would move around. It's brilliant. Yeah. And I can't deny that. His power with his voice to carry in that arena at that fucking age. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Uh. That's something I just I was so much Angus. Bond Scott. Highway to hell was just fucking to me till this day when I got out. I'm having a

fucked up day and I got to write something. I'll go home put the earphones on. I'm going to back gets known to the guild. Yeah. I'll put the fucking earphones on G and I'll start that out from scratch. I can't lie to you. I fast forward high without him too. Of course. Yeah me too. I'm too old for high with hell. Yeah. Girls got rhythm. Sometimes I'm in the mood. Sometimes I'm not. Right. But I started to walk all over you. Shot down for you. And by the time bond no no no then that jam after fucking then that jam after fucking beating around the bush. No. One of those nights she's got the touch touch too much by the time touch too much comes on. You're really a stab a motherfucker. Yeah. Then you listen to shot down in flames. Incredible. And

then the last jam is night proud. Unbelievable. So to listen to your state of mind. Yeah. Now here's where it gets even more fucked up. I'm sorry to sound like one of those dudes of subway sandwiches that you walk in with the ponytail. Yeah. And the Led Zeppelin t-shirt and he's like hey man I went to see Pink Floyd man and yeah and the other three sandwich makers like yeah you. Your. I hate that fucking lifestyle. That was what I dreaded being yeah one of those dudes deemed that yeah you are like that cool old man you know are we talking to my are you sure you know what the the the concerts the last I was gonna I saw them at Madison Square Garden which I don't have to tell you

You know what I'm saying? Like I still remember making plans. I had the album and also somebody goes, you know if I can ACD's just play in the garden with Ted Nugent on Saturday and I'm like, come on. At that time my mom wouldn't come home till about six at night. So at two, three o'clock I'd go home.

I'd take a little hit of a joint. I'd hide the joint and I'd go upstairs and there was three albums on my Victro. Are you ready? Yeah. 10 Weekend Warriors. Oh yeah. ACDC Power Rage.

Yeah. Highway to hell. But the sleeper was Hotel California. Oh, love that one. And I'd play all four of them every fucking afternoon loud and lip-sync and play the air guitar like a half a fag, but guess what? It kept my powder dry.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I did. That was so fucking good to listen to that shit. Hotel California dude is everything about it. The cover, the guitar playing, the lyrics, the songs, life in the fast lane. I remember when that came out, all I was like, I kept thinking it was one day

I'm gonna get a Camaro and I'll have that fucking eight track player, you know, like playing life in the fast lane. I'll be driving to school. I'll be 18 or whatever, you know. It's just, you know, that thing is smoking. That band is unbelievable. Unbelievable.

You know, I'm like the rest of the world. I saw them, I never saw them live until I saw the video of them doing Hotel California. I was a kid when that song came out. I still remember when that whole song, I still remember when one of these nights came out. That's how old I am. I was in the sixth grade slinging dick.

I had two girlfriends in Miami, Natasha and Rebecca. And that song was the song of the summer. And I gotta tell you something, till this fucking day, that is one of, that's gotta be in my top 10 songs. That song, another fucking jam that gets my heart riled up. Killer.

Oh my God. So I was way into them. When Hotel California came out, I was a kid. I liked Hotel California, like Life in the Fast Lane. There was one other jam on there that was tremendous. And then the other last one is a great album. The one with the- Long run?

I can't tell you now yet. Oh, love that record. Underrated. Really, that came out in 1980. Killer. And they just said it's over. Lights out in Georgia like fucking UFO. And then something happened.

I moved to Aspen. I was house sitting in Snowmass Village, all right? And here's this fucking Cuban spick with felonies on the horizon. Which one pick them? Yeah. And I'm living in this fucking house. But the dude told me that I could live over the garage,

not to drive his car. And never, ever, ever, ever go in this house. Unless it's to get the shovels or to check the jacuzzi levels or shit like that. I wasn't allowed to do laundry in this house, not even though he had a standard yard laundry room. Press button, 19 fucking 85. Suck my dick, pal.

You live in Northern California, you're one of the partners in TGI apps. Oh, wow. He was low. He had houses all over the country. He had four kids. He told me he was gonna come two weeks out of the year. Wow.

Okay, but he never came two weeks out of the year. He would send his daughter once a year with four college friends. They would order up 500 miles worth of booze, drink one night, puke, and leave all the bottles off to Uncle Joey to have parties with his bitches. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Like a soldier. Dog, I was living up in the fucking main bedroom. Oh fuck, yeah, he's never there. No, I had the jacuzzi, the stain room. I had a living room the size of this fucking buildingly that overlooked the mountains. It was ski in and ski out. If you were above a certain point,

you could just ski out and the guards wouldn't say nothing to your guy. I would have like an old ski ticket on there. Yeah, vote for me. Ah, vote for me. Oh, tremendous. You have no fucking idea. Vote for me.

Dean Del Rizzi, living like a doctor. No, but I didn't even believe it. I'm like, I'm a fucking kid. That's a fucking criminal. Yeah. And I'm house-sittin' this motherfucker. TGIF owner. In 1986, I got into fucking snortin'.

Yeah. And all you need is, you don't know what life is till you snort coke in a mansion by yourself. You hear and see all type of things when you're up after a day. Oh, yeah. I used to fucking hide in closets and in the steam room and I had co-kids all over the house

and then my girlfriend moved in and we'd see things in the backyard. It was horrible. So at night, it was called 475 Farway Road. Yeah. That was the address. Wow. Snowmass Village.

Type it up. I believe it's for sale still, so. Yeah, I think we should, we found it, right? Oh yeah, it's for sale. It's for sale. So I would sing that lyrics in some, there was one part where he would say something and it was my hotel California.

Wow. In my mind, it was my own personal hotel of California. Aspen or what city? Yeah, no, Snowmass Village. You could check out anytime you like, but you can never leave, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I had people up there for days up in that motherfucker.

I love that photo is the Beverly Hills Hotel. Yeah, I never knew that. Fuck, I didn't need a man until they broke it down, but the guy that shot that was telling stories about that perfect son behind it took the picture, man, and then the Beverly Hills Hotel wanted it off there, you know, and they're like, nah, we didn't use your name or anything,

you know what I mean? It's wild. I love that cover. And then the back part where they're just in that lobby, it's so spooky, you know? That record kills. Imagine just having a perfect fucking record, you know? It takes a lot of work.

See, what do they want for it? How much? 17, no. 4.7. 4.7, it's those two garages. Yeah, yeah. That was supposed to be my apartment on top of those two garages.

Oh, I would have taken just that into Palace. Yeah, no, no, but it wasn't like that then. There wasn't even a window on that side there, it was just a door. You walked it up those steps on the side, but you can't see with the tree. Look at that, Joey, just your cocaine palace. That was my cocaine palace.

The other side, with the chimney? Yeah. Up on the second floor. Yeah, that left there, yeah. That was the Uncle Joey, your asshole room. Yeah. You can never come in, but you can never go out. 5,000 square feet, seven bedroom, seven bath.

Look at that, dude. Two bedrooms downstairs, it had one, a study, and another bedroom upstairs, like a master bedroom. And then it had two bedrooms down on the level where the kitchen was, and the living room. Yeah, look at that. Pretty nice fucking house, man, I lucked out.

Wow, how'd you land that? You just meet the guy somewhere? No, my buddy landed the job, and I was in San Francisco, and I had to leave San Francisco because the cops wanted me, so I went to bold. I'm in bold of mine in my business, and I just called him to check the one, and he goes, where you at?

I go, I'm in bold, and he goes, listen, brother, I got a little situation, I knocked up my wife and my girlfriend, and we don't want to raise a kid here. We got the fuck, I gotta get a job in Jersey. When can you get up here? I'm like, I can be up there next week. Yeah. So I already had connections from when I lived there before.

Sick. I moved in with him. I moved in with him for like two nights. He showed me everything I had to do. It was basically 20 hours a week. Wow. No, I'm lying to you guys. It was like 10 hours a week.

Yeah. So basically, in the winter time, you shovel snow. Yeah. And in the summer, you fucking cut the grass. Your own shining, up there. Yeah, that was it. No, you had neighbors, you had neighbors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, neighbors.

And then he gave you projects every year. Oh, wow. He didn't pay you for the labor. Yeah, yeah, but you get the fucking. He paid for the materials. So he would go, Joey, paint the southern wall over there the color that I'm gonna send you to this hardware store. And I would paint it, and then he would never,

he would pay me for the materials, but he would never fucking pay me for the labor. Yeah, yeah. But I was like, fuck him. I just necked to the speedometer in his car. Oh, yeah. And I was living like a doctor with a brand new cheap truck and ranger.

Yeah. It was just insane. It really was insane. It was the hotel, California. Fuck, you can disconnect that stuff? Hell yeah, man, the back, they had the cable back there. Now it's all digital, you can't, but back there was a cable.

What kind of dash? But once you put it back, they could always tell. It was untraceable because the numbers wouldn't add up. The numbers would go off like when you were in the last van. They staggered. They would stagger. But by that point, you'd be long gone? By that point, you put the fucking cable on.

They don't know, they took it to the fucking, they take it to sell it. And the people come back and go, you disconnected the cable. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The speedometer, it's all fucked up. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with, asshole?

And then they find you. And by that time, I'm long gone. I got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got. Long gone. Where's Tony Bennett, cocksucker? Hey. You pick up the stars tomorrow, you say, at 10 o'clock, I gotta go to the, on the mission tomorrow.

I gotta meet fucking your boy Tommy Bunce tomorrow. You pick up the pieces, when somebody breaks your heart. Sounds good. Sounds good. Pick up the mission for Wednesday night. We're going off the fucking rails night, Wednesday night, you say, at... Daddy, mushrooms in?

I got everything. You do? But Lee doesn't love mushrooms. He doesn't like mushrooms. He likes mushrooms. But Lee doesn't love mushrooms no more. Oh, why, Lee? Me cut it.

I don't want any of it. What? Well, the mushrooms I just don't like, cause it's covered in shit. Aw, fuck that. Don't let me start it. Does he almost, he didn't even know how close he got to being cut his neck.

I almost suspended him for 25 days. Oh, shit. Lee, you're out. Because I'm a fucking pussy. I'm the carrots, I get it. Yeah. I'm 54 years old. First time I ate a mushroom, I was 19.

Yeah. Did I jump up and down? Did I think it tasted like the chef of the future? No. No. But I think about the shit. Yeah. And I go, you know what?

It's all good. I never think about that. It's all fucking good. Look at the shit you eat in real life, Lee. Yeah, Lee. It's like Burger King. He ate a Korean sandwich two weeks ago, right off the street, walked into a place.

Right off the street. For some reason, yeah. That guy didn't even wipe his ass. 20,000 fucking restaurants. He walks down the street happily. Yeah. And instead of going to the safe option, I'm going to get a Korean fucking sandwich.

I couldn't believe this one. This one's the one that really fucking sucks. I love Lee. Every time I'm here, you get the food story. And the last time it was the sushi boats. Oh, please. There's always something else. It never ends.

It's never ending. I had a fucking... But I don't want to eat shit. And then that's weird. That's terrible. He thought he complained. He gagged. Yeah.

I'm ready to take it. I'm going to go out to the desert. 30 fucking years. I never saw nobody even mention shit. Never. This is how bad he is. This is how bad it is. So, the best...

I hate to say this, but we're comedians. And, you know, sometimes you... Whatever you wish for might come true, but look what happened in Burning Man. They got a little himself on fire. I know, man. They say he was straight. Yeah, good.

Yeah, factually, he was not straight. That dog that they told him only do a half of this. Yeah. And they meant it. He didn't take him serious. No. He did three of them. Yeah.

He went down and he saw that fire and he goes, fuck it. This will save my life. It's kind of cold out here anyway. He's like, I'm the Burning Man. Oh, my God. I couldn't believe it. And they said that...

Have you been? No. It's probably one of the only things I've ever done. Why not? You know, because every time... I mean, you were an outgoing guy. I'm a sack of shit. Yeah.

Every time I heard about it, it was always like, you know, like, fucking, oh, man, there was fucking windstorms and sand and, oh, we couldn't fucking see. Like, I never heard a good story of like, it was beautiful and perfect. It was always like, you know, sandstorms and, oh, no bathroom and, you know, whatever. It was fucking 70,000 people. You camp? I don't camp, but I would on that, you know. Is that what people do?

No, I'm asking you. Yeah, they got camping and people sleeping cars and, you know, campers and all that shit. It's just like a fucking, just miles of like salt flat kind of style area, you know. There was only one festival. I felt bad about not going and that was the US Festival. Oh, yeah. Because I was this close. Yeah, I was there.

And I liked every band that was performing there. And after that, I just, yeah, I remember going to Phil's Green and watching Don Henley and I noticed how the concert scene had changed. I noticed that now the smell of marijuana was offending people. Yeah. And then I went to a grateful dead concert at Red Rocks and there was just off the chains. Fuck yeah. It really was off the chains.

That's the shit right there. And then I went to, like there were just a couple of concerts, it was like hit and miss at that age. Yeah. Like I was explaining to Lee that I was getting to places and going, why the fuck am I here? Like I remember going to see Aerosmith at the soap factory. Yeah. And it was so bad.

But before they even started playing, like when they walked out, I'll never forget looking at them going, am I here? Yeah. This is an Aerosmith. And they started playing and he was horrid. And I was furious, you know? Yeah. I've said it before, I walked out of Twisted Sister.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, you know, I used to ask myself. I'd love to see you back then, oh man, fuck these guys. No, no, no, I wouldn't even say that. Oh yeah, you just say it. I just look at you and go, we're either in or you want to stay, what do you mean? I'm having a good time. Listen, we're leaving and you know, it's a 40 minute fucking.

Five year away home. Yeah. So you got to, you got to make a choice. You want to stay for the issue? Yeah. And you leave because it's 50 bucks to get home and you only got 62 for the weekend. Oh man. I never left, man.

I always go straight to the front and got ready for the ride. I just, I was short. So I'd be like, excuse me. I can't see. I play that card and I get, oh, let him buy it, man, let him buy it. Yeah. I get right up to the fucking rail, dead center, front row, every show. And I always come out with a pick and look down the ground, find a 10 or a 20, you know,

some ground scores, somebody's wallet. They dropped. I had a couple of pigs. I want to glintip. Oh, fuck it. I had a couple of pigs. I still got mine, Joey, in a box. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I lost all my pictures. Oh, I took pictures of them and put them on Instagram. I was just writing about this fucking, I scored when I was a kid, Dean Del Rizzi. I always scored. I was a good album thief. Yeah. Not only was I a good drug thief and I knew how to burn, but I knew how to rob an album. There was a place on Bergenland Avenue that I knew if I bought one album, I got one free.

It was my own deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I walked two up to the counter, but I only paid for one. I would take the bag and I'm a way down there to pick the other one and walk up with the bag facing him. The inside thumb would be holding the album and I'd walk out and put it in the bag like I own the joint band. Yeah, two for one.

I did the same thing at Crazy Atty's or whatever the fuck, those album stores in Jersey. Your own Columbia house. Oh, yeah. The easiest score I ever had was Pathmark. Pathmark score was pretty fucking easy. Pathmark was a supermarket on the East Coast and they were always there when I was growing up on like 78th and Tunley Avenue. At that time, I'm 82, I got busted in there shoplifting.

I tried to rob a gas station, Georgia Amaco, and I went down there to rob a gun and I got busted clipping a toy gun, so I stayed out there for like six months and then I started going back down and they had opened up. They always had a magazine section. Yeah. That's not a fart. That's the chair. Yeah, I opened up a magazine section, but next to the magazine they put record albums

and I'm not talking about Sinatra, I'm talking about this, like what was going on right now. They wanted to get into the music business, so they had everything by the who, everything by Led Zeppelin, so it was like starting from scratch. I would go in there every day around four o'clock and I would take the albums I wanted, re-fold them, and I would stack them real close to the magazines because the fence would close and I could still pick them up and carry them to the fence. You can't write this shit. No.

I did this and I would go either put them on the bottom of the shopping cart and buy groceries, pay for the groceries, and then I'd walk out the store with them. The bottom of the thing with three or four albums, I did this four times a week. I had a fucking huge box with a long stack of albums. Fresh vinyl. Fresh vinyl. Fresh vinyl. They covered it, and what they didn't have, I always always get albums on the slide.

I look at all this thing and I'm like, how many times did I buy each of these fucking things? Savit, bloody savit. Yeah. I gave Sharon Osborn's father fucking money ten times because then they'll see a dime from this shit, those poor bastards. Yeah, I know man, those fucking robbers. Who'd you go see when you went to New York this last time?

Greta Van Fleet, incredible, 19-year-olds, dude, fire it up, fire it up for Jerry. You got to hear it, man. Two guys, twins, they're 20. Now you've seen them a couple of times. Yeah. I went and saw them at the Viper Room last month. They played six songs and then Florentine and I went and saw them in New York two weeks ago and they played an hour and they're from Detroit and it's two brothers or it's three

brothers and a friend. Two of the guys are twins and the other guys are younger and they're like Zeppelin meets Hart and the fucking Greta Van Fleet and they fucking, they're kids, Joey, and they murder. They murder it live, man. You got to fucking, you're going to love it, man. It's like, it's pure kids playing rock and roll right there, highway tune. Right there. Oh, what the fuck?

Here you go. Here you go. Here you go. Here you go. This is great, man. These guys are kids and they're fucking out there. They're selling out everywhere, man. We're loving it, rock and roll.

We're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it, we're loving it. Kill it, man. This is very interesting to a guy like me. Yeah. for a minute there, it's Robert Plant and Jimmy Pay. Right.

You know, you close your eyes and you go, okay. What makes these fucking, how old can they be? 21? 20 and 17? Okay, so what makes these 20 year olds play this type of music when they could jump up and down, jump up and down with a fucking DJ. Yeah.

And fucking, whatever the fuck they do. You listen to this and it moves you because especially older guys like you and I because we know where they got this from. Yeah. They got this from their dad who said, fuck you, listen to this shit. That's what happened.

And for three kids, you know, three kids listen to this shit. Yeah. They took a friend, they go, no, listen to the idea we got. That sounded like a little bit of the immigrant song. Yeah. I want to play one more for you, Jimmy. Okay, so go to the EP and play Black Smoke Rising

right there, that song. Check this out, dude. And they fucking play live and they sing live and they play this shit out of this stuff, man. And we were in, Florentine and I were just going, this is fucking great, man. And people are into it. It's selling out everywhere.

And I had them on the podcast and it did. Yeah, I had them at the comedy store. We did it live there, all four of them. And it was fucking great. I turned Eddie Trunk on to him. He's playing him. I turned Nikki Sixx on to him. He's playing him and they're getting out there.

So check this one out. This one's smoking. It's a lie. This is for their own desire As they spit down to the ashes Through the power pulling in their veins Oh, yeah, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah

And the planks won't break it From the fires we've been told The guitar is Jimmy Page Yeah So much and somebody else is in there It sounds like a heart right there, the singing Yeah, the singing You know, like barracud a little bit of, you know

I love when I see shit like this Right People have taken something and said, you know what We grew up listening to this Our dad forced us on this Our mom listened to this And then we went to guitar school Where the fuck you going

Learn how to play all this shit And you're like I listened to something recently You want to fucking slit your wrist Because she didn't enjoy the band And do this type of shit Right What the fuck was it?

I thought of you too But you were in New York I didn't call you Late night I got home from the company You call me anytime, dude I love when you call me You know, you get home from the company Store some nights

And there's some nights That you think of a joke You said, Lee reminds me of something On the way home So you sit down You open up your computer You put YouTube on And you write whatever you remember

In the sequence The best that you can Yeah But while you're fucking around on YouTube If you sign in It plays all this shit That you've played over the years So

Right Something came on And I scrolled And I looked at it And I go, oh my god And I put it on And I thought about you What the fuck was it?

Was it UFO? Now There's something I do Want to get involved with you in Oh yeah Word on the street is March 19th I don't know if that's the date

Shankler is in San Jose Yeah Yeah Also I think Orange County, though But is he doing Orange County? Yeah, he's doing Orange County And we're looking at what the date is

The Grove The place called the Grove Yeah, look it up Shankler Dude, we have to go to that That'll be my last hurrah with shows I think so But you gotta smoke grief for them Oh

I'm all over I don't want no misunderstanding No fucking No stars No, I think it may be a little A cap Take a little cap No worries

Get in there No worries No worries No worries Yeah, whatever But the fear of God in here I think we need to do that There and go see Shankler

I love to go I just I watched some of his shit From like three years ago Unbelievable And he's still fucking tremendous You know I don't know if he's drinking

Yeah I don't really give a fuck Is he gonna Is he gonna show up to the shows He might, you know People say he stopped showing up Yeah, he'll be there Michael Shankler

S-C-H-E-N-K-E-R I'm glad you got to check out Greta Van Fleet Fucking cool, man Yeah, there we go Michael Shankler himself Yeah, here we go Your bad motherfucker

So tour right there Look at this shit Yeah, here we go I don't think you I don't know if he's updated it Yeah, yeah, here we go So it is Go down a little more

It's in March there So there it is right there Looking for some California date Keep going There it is Right, Anaheim Right there March 25th

25th, City Not a National Grove Let's go to that One hundred percent Who's who's who's who's who's who's who who's who I don't think... Take a tour of Jalila Maybe not He's the...

He has got all three singers He's got Grand Bondet I think McAulhey and the And the third singer I guess he's going out with three singers Now, who is the first singer

From OSG Deb by your heart tonight Yeah And was he also the singer on his name Gary Barton was that oh, and then you got Grand Bonnet on the second one No, it was the same singer as the first one or the third one or whatever Attack of the Mad Axe man Grand Bonnet and then you get McCauley

Yeah, let's go to Wikipedia real quick. Wow. Yeah, wow Gary Barton okay on the first time. Let me see it was on the first and second now Yes, it's a Michael Shanker group. This is interesting shit Right now. Yeah. Yeah, I'm getting old. My memory is slipping man. Yeah. Yeah, mine's starting to come back after the No sugar. Yeah, no sugar. I might just take top of my goo. You know, I stay on top of that shit. Yeah, okay, so Go down slide down And and then find uh, oh no, that's a record. So okay over here where the chronological records are On the right there. Yeah, okay, so

We want to hit Michael shit msg. No, let's see go down No, not that one the other one go back Uh, right there Michael Shanker, uh, yeah that one. Okay So let's look at the records real quick and the first one. I'm almost 100. It's Gary Barton. So, uh Where's the records Describe it. Okay, right there. Uh 80 Michael Shanker group 80 Right there. Yeah, there you go Singer let's see you go down to a singer

Look at that. Roger whoever fucking produced that Uh, there it is Gary Barton I knew it. All right now Who is the band for the second now and then the second msg Yeah, go to the second record. I'm almost sure that it's uh, there you go Singer is Gary Barton then the third one is grand bonnet. Let's check the third one Look at that cozy pal on drums. What a god. He's gone now

Not that one. Sorry assault attack. All right. Who's on one night of bulletin? Well, that's a live record. That's a live I had that. Yeah, I believe it's gary barton Singing the from the tours there. Let's see Yeah, yeah, so then go to the next cozy powers on that Yeah, I saw that tour and I saw the first record tour at the wolf gangs in samples. He did doctor doctor But it's for film on yeah, that's what we wrote it with. Yeah, that's here, right? So then go to the attack That was a great show if you watch assault attack. It's great, right? That's crazy Here we go

This is uh, definitely Grand bonnet. I'm almost 100 sure. There it is grand bonnet. Yep I saw all the eras so I remember Yeah, by this time I was gone. Yeah, the first two are masterpieces masterpieces. They're unbelievable I still listen to on and on Once a month. Oh I still listen on the planes. Yeah, I have both albums on my ipod. Yeah So I'll listen to fucking both albums from on those six hour flights. Yeah couple stars

Maybe a pot cookie and uncle joey's fucking going on the meteors. You know what I'm saying? Let me tell you something You know where cobs is? Yeah. Well, that was a club called wolf gangs Michael shaker played there on the first record I was front row the place held maybe about 405 was it the same way same same setup, man And I watched Michael shaker in there. Absolutely. I got some photos. I snuck a shit camera and I got him at my house I'll bring him next time and I watched him melt the fucking place to the ground I mean, it was incredible

I could sit here and tell you That I knew what the fuck I was doing. I had no idea. Yeah But like in 19 78 My mother hadn't died yet. I still went to I had gone to a few concerts Not even acdc yet. Yeah, I was right before acdc And one of the fucking dudes in the neighborhood who sold tac crystal Yeah, so he had tickets to go see rainbow at one of those theaters and Newark, New Jersey or in one of those bad neighborhoods

Some arrogant ballroom shit. Yeah, I was like, I don't even know if it was rainbow. It was The scorpions. Yeah And somebody else but Michael shank that was there that night. Wow. That's the first time I I went in there. I could lie to you and I didn't know nothing right But all I knew was I left there And I want to know what that guitar player was right about two weeks later. He released. No, like, I don't know Maybe a year or two later. Yeah, he released that fucking helm At that time I had bought like lights out. Yeah, I had bought strangers in the night live one. No

The one with uh one more foot of rodeo on it, right Let's see. Michael shank that with ufo with ufo Shit, I can't see it Here we go, uh, just quick got ufo Right there Okay, so here's the uh records obsession That's the one. Yeah, that was the one That blew my fucking mind 78 obsession. Yeah, that one and then I went backwards. I got lights out

And then I got phenomenon. Yeah, and then I got strangers in the night. Yeah, and then after that, I think I was done That's what I was done. That is one of my that one's great. Look at the cover That is one of my favorite albums of all time. You only you can rock me obsession. Yes I was uh one more for the rodeo type of guy play one more For the rodeo. Listen to the fucking guitar. That's like, yeah, listen to michael shank around this and now this is 79 Yeah, I'm doing acid. Yeah, okay. My friends are into pink floyd Uh, uh, you know, uh zeppelin they're into linen skin at the kinks boston But no, no, no, no, no tad heavy stones heavy doors

heavy who But nobody unless you are from uptown Really right there one more for the rodeo. No, no, is it one more for the rodeo? What the fuck is the name of the song we're talking about one more for the rodeo one more for the rodeo Yeah, right there right there. Look at that three not live. No, no, not live the third that one 19 2008 remaster. Yeah, right there. Listen to listen to michael shank this guitar, please ladies and gentlemen Kick it lee. Look at the cover, dude. So fucking cool. Trippy as fuck. Love that cover, dude

Crank it lee crank it because I want you I Watch shanky coming subtle Oh One more pretender who just hey here we go Are you fucking kidding me fucking great, dad come on Oh He hasn't stopped no

Hear that Listen to these shit guys, he's destroying this fucking guitar. Yeah Oh I used to get poked up my mother had died I'd be heartbroken at night. I'll turn this off lee. Listen to this shit I'd be heartbroken at night. I get into the bend is like at 130 But like a half grand my pocket and I put this whole owl mark Small cope and just fucking cry. Listen, but this would fucking destroy him. He hasn't stopped. Kick it again, lee

Yeah He has not stopped it's incredible. He has not stopped kicking the fuck out of that mule dog You understand me you could just play that second of that and I'd go shanker. He has his own No, no, that's tremendous. It's unbelievable. It sounds like fucking a little bit of gill boys Yeah, but he just takes it out there, but he's the beauty about this. This is 79 Yeah Listen to this guitar boy So Ozzy Ozzy wants to listen to guitars. Yeah. Yeah, I just see that and he walks in

And Ozzy started doing Nazi jokes And this guy packed up his guitar and left. This is what he turned the way. Yeah I'll go here. Well, but he passed on this. We got ready. Yeah. Yeah, but this to me Is one of the best guitars. I mean I put it up there with page at the garden You know fucking Santana Woodstock totally that before that guitar right there and there's I and he's on He's got like two or three of these live But we can't play now. This is when you're home. You get stoned at two in the morning Look for one more for the rodeo do it on the studio version

And then watch the two videos live and watch this fucking blonde Six foot something zombie Tear this fucking guitar apart dude. I love everything about and nobody knows about him No, like the kids today would not know fucking about him You have no idea because we get listen jimmy hendrix was great Yeah, and you know what when at the age of 14 12 13 when I started to get into this shit Jimmy hendrix was great. You know what? Jimmy page was alive and kicking. Yeah, so I wanted to do it. It was alive. I'll listen to jimmy lady

Oh, he ain't making no new music. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I'll catch up on his shit later Yeah, and every once in a while. Hey joe and all that shit was cute, but I was always a guitar Yeah, me too. You listen. You like my listen to listen to my listen to yeah, I like this. I like Gilmore. Yeah I like fucking Jimmy page I love all this fucking get get Montrose. I love Montrose Do you I thought I got stoned and put on bad company at like two in the morning? I was on like 2000 milligrams. Me and lee went somewhere. We got a bagel or some shit I went home. I was lit. You know when you're high on thc

And you know no matter how high on thc you are you're not gonna be able to fall asleep. You're mind's in the wrong way No, no, no, you might even have an anxiety attack. So I said why go to bed. I was on the call. I'm in torture Tell them not to answer the phone that the cops calling that type of shit. Yeah, and the next thing, you know, I said, let me put on youtube And fucking I put on I went from like, uh You know like I went from debbie gibson. Debbie gibson was on serious. Oh, yeah, and she was mc in her own music Deborah gibson And uh Foolish beat of my heart. Yeah, so I went home. I had a crush on her young

Please I love that album. God. I love that. Fuck. I was snorting coke in the halfway house That album came out. I was in love with her. I don't know if I was in love with it. I just liked that little faggy music Yeah, I liked her. You know who debbie gibson is Lee. Yeah, yeah No, I don't know. Foolish beat of my heart. Oh, yeah, she's a little jewish girl from long island I wanted to date her so bad. Listen guys. Yeah, she hosted The 30th anniversary of this song and I gotta tell you something. I couldn't get out of the car I couldn't get out of the car. It was so interesting. Yeah, she was so refreshing She talked about why foolish beat

Debbie gibson. Yeah Later changed it to debbie gibson. We get it together. She's a goomba. You know what I'm saying? Yeah Hit it right there. There she is right there by the very early Hit it Lee. This little jewish girl from long island. I love the jewish girls. Joey. That's all I like I love them. Listen to this shinley That's all I like Who the fuck plays debbie gibson? Yeah circa 1987 from ufo on the fucking podcast. Yeah From ufo to this

We go everywhere Oh, yeah Oh, shit Oh, yeah, big crush on her. I'm driving the other night Lee. Yeah, I couldn't go home. I get it That's how much I love the song. Yeah Yeah Oh, it's straight up like careless whisper wham all that Look at the Lee little jewish girl from long island. She was a fuck. I like the outfit

Yeah I don't like that hat. I hate that. I don't need that hat Look at the dude in the turtleneck Oh, here we go Oh, shit. Yeah, she's talking to me Oh This was my shit, Lisa at 1987 I get coked up and listened to this and jerk off and shit Yeah, we got the soft side to us

Right, I wouldn't look at the video and whack off. I just listened to the song. Wow. Keep it. Keep it Look at her. She said buy it on right there Oh, shit You should play this for paul. Can I leave late night when you get people in the house With the sound of living room and shit. Yeah, it's a little flower. Smooch on her neck Smooch on her neck, Lee Fire it up on your iphone. There's the outfit. I like Joey. Look here we go That's some fucking that's how the women looking manhattan. I love them. Look at that. That's some manhattan women

Are you in here? No, really. Why does she look like she's about to walk off the bridge? She just lost her man. Those are the ones you want. Yeah, you want normal one. You want to catch them right there and come spaghetti for them shit Yeah Here we go. Here's the whole thing over here. It goes down to this Lee Oh, fuck around. Kick that mule, Lee. Yeah Come on, fuck. Here we go

Look at her. No titties, baldy knees. Yeah, I don't give a fuck, Jack. Hounds to your skirt. I like it No Look at the audience Are you fucking nuts or what? I'm in the halfway house. Listen to this shit in my fucking demo from fucking 104th and thought This is how I was kicking it And that would pop. I used to listen to this and there's another jam where he's listening to it. Yeah, you ready for this, Lee? Yeah

Put on expose. Oh, yeah, let this know. What was it? Let this put it and let this and the rest to come up Let me be the one that's the one expose a expose a was right along with this This is when I was fucking in the halfway house. Yeah hanging out with criminals and shit And I had this jam in the car. This jam was hot. Oh man, Lee. How long we take it? Exposed that rock. Well, somebody's watching me. Oh my god. That's always feel like somebody's watching me Maybe that one. Oh, please That was very gaudy son. Yeah, that's great. They put a gun to Michael. Let the third one. Here. Yeah, they put a gun They put a gun to

Michael Jackson's had to make him sing a single single kick it Lee. Yeah kick that me Lee Oh, yeah, here we go. Listen to this shit. This is great He's a three fucking dudes three chicks from miami. Yeah Yep This was a great fucking album Seasons change They had three or four hits on these guys were huge. I'm going with me. Yeah. Yeah Here we go, Lee

Kick it I love the 80s sound. I love this shit total hauling out. I would stay up and watch the videos at night and shit I think they're on the road. Are they? Yeah, they're on the road too Oh Shit, yeah, that that fucking transmission fluids kicking in. Oh Just now mine's been kicking in transmission People you have no fucking idea. I'm taking you Be next time you don't people don't touch those fucking controls Lee

I'll bite your finger off on south of the japanese. Listen to me Next time you people go to your people's house on thanksgiving bust this out for these cocksuckers Go over there jump it up and down the garbage hit it Lee. Oh shit I Listen to that production straight miami sound machine You believe your uncle joey listen to this shit. Lee sat Secretly this I'd be jamming this. No, I wouldn't be secretly people knew I was out in the open I went home in 94. Yeah, I'll tell you who I got hooked on

Janet Jackson. Oh fuck yeah control record 94 control the one after that And then that other one with your principal. Yes Jesus Smoking dude the other day that one of those slow jams from pressure principal came on I almost shut a fucking tear. What a record people you're the home going. What the fuck are they talking about guys Janet Jackson then become Janet Jackson because she was michael's little sister. No She you ever have a doubt who the fuck Janet Jackson was it was control pleasure principal as your principal and uh

Then one suck dick, but she came back in 95. Yeah, but just jennet was called just jennet jennet. Yeah Jesus Joseph and Mary smoking dude You know it was amazing about her. She almost had the song was called if Yeah, she had more hits than michael for a while. You know what I mean? Like michael michael just faded away You know like it's she might listen. It was tough to follow thriller. Yeah, of course What are you gonna do with thriller? I think after thriller was a bad. Yeah, it was a bad Yep And you know that had some hits but then after that he just kind of disappears, you know, she just takes it

Came out in 91 remember the time michael jackson. Yeah Yeah, have you ever seen that video? Remember the time Let's see here. Just put it. Remember the time. Uh, who's in those things that michael jackson This was when there we go Well, this was video uh, uh, rudy was on a couple weeks ago. Yeah, and we were talking about I love that guy. There it is. We were talking about, uh, how they spent money On videos. Oh, yeah back down like a million dollar video. Put the video on

Why why we wouldn't be in a fucking video Just put the video on leaves on that transmission for yeah leaves fucked up. I like You said you wanted to know a year came out. No, no, no. He gave it here. I gave it here. You know me dog I'm not gonna put all smoke up your ass Here we go. It's youtube and fucking remember the time This is one of those videos lea Where michael jackson went into a fucking meeting at wherever There he goes. I want to shoot this video. Oh remember this video. Yeah

This shit is crazy. This is crazy lea. Yeah, right there that one fucking 10 minute video costs like 10 million dollars You know what that's like lea You know what it's like for you me to come to you and go lea. You gotta give me 10 mil for a video This video is insane. Joey we're minus 10 million right off the top. Yeah off the top Watch this suckling video lea For a fucking video But mtv was that strong. Yeah, they were. Oh, yeah, you're the music company. You're gonna sell records MTV was that strongly

If they played it you bought it. Yep This thing's nuts Straight egyptian This cat cost him a half a mil. Yeah, he's union. Yeah, he's definitely union that cat Oh, shit, then the tiger baby tigers another hundred grand All right, what's the name iman This is iman like race jones. That's iman. She's great. She's fucking a half a mil eddie murphy eddie murphy He's a mill. Yep. You know, yep right there eddie murphy. This is 1991 eddie murphy. Eddie murphy's in your video

Golden child before lea. Look at them. Yeah All right. These guys are all in your fucking video You ever seen this lea Is that behavior with us awesome. Oh, thanks. I know How the fuck you are eddie murphy do your video? I know Is this coming to america? This is 91 Michael Jackson's video, buddy. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I haven't seen it now. All right. Look at this Yeah, I have a fucking magic johnson

Magic johnson Before the hiv Yeah, before hips pre hips before the hiv. Yep Fake bald head throw him to the lions throw him to We'll literally do it now. Oh man On the top day would be a comic on those days. Look at those hats Oh Off with his head

Let's go Hilarious here we go Moon dance in the sandals It's 91 92 lea And what is it you're going to do? He had just killed the thriller That's something else bad. He was quiet for a while And then this shit came out. He was fucking people awfully sorry Look at this for them to give you this type of money

To shoot a video you like listen watch what I got for you Yeah, someone huge directed it too this video I Super nose job Jesus fucking christ Ice do come on tuesday nights It's great and then after the car you can leave this on me. It's great. And then after tuesday nights I used to take this girl to an australian bar called the outback. Yeah, and we karaoke And I go up there and sing this for her

Come on dog. Well, I bullshit. Yeah Yeah, she was young out of college Just a boy on the road. I was in love. Yeah, it was crazy Fucking crazy guys. I was eating those annexes. Oh, yeah, 10 milligrams. I eat 10 of those motherfuckers Tremendous do a couple lines. I was right there Oh, I was 29 years old. I was dating a 22 year old college graduate. I was an open mica I didn't know dick about dick. I owed 50 g's And I didn't give a fuck

50 g's to a college credit card. Yeah Start hunting it down. Oh, they were calling me an open mica. Oh, yeah. Yeah Hey, jerry, uh, who's this? This is the credit card. You don't know what it's like to get to a place We're doing comedy at or a comedy club and somebody says hey The phone rang before somebody called for you like Holy shit hbo called here finally for me. Yeah, they must have got my tape from somewhere. This is way before you took me Yeah They must have got my tape somehow and you get all the fucking phone

And it's fucking discover card and they're asking for that 44 95. You don't know what life is Do you just give somebody back the phone and go? Oh, oh, man They're calling me at my place of fucking business They just embarrass me in front of the club owner. Yeah, that you know was getting those calls the chicken denver Oh, wendy wendy. Well, I first started at wendy. Wendy would tell me joey I got a credit card for you today. You know embarrassing it was But she liked me so she overlooked it. Yeah Yeah, those fuckers they pay those people to hunt you down and then they just call all day

They are they're tremendous at their job. Yeah, I applaud them that They had a tame they had to put a lot together Because these guys are vicious. Oh, yeah, they are they do even shit. They're vicious and that's their job You know, they keep selling the paper Over and over and you get a new ring like it's funny you would call me for For 90 days you'd be relentless and if I wouldn't give you a dime I wouldn't hear from you again ever

And then 60 days later The phone would start ringing discover all over again But now it was fucking michael rickio looking for me. Yeah, and I'd come home in the afternoon dog And there'd be nine messages on my machine Eight and a half of them were fucking credit card companies. Yeah, it was scary. I thought I was done. I was done I was there. I was there. I remember When I did the ice cube movie I got the money

And I paid off the credit card And then I cut it up and I was like never again I mean these fuckers call they call your job They call they call your cell phone And non-stop letters in the mail All that shit. So when I paid it off, I never got another credit card And uh, I was like fuck that man. It was a night It was something you buy like 15 years ago. You don't even know what you bought. It was so long ago

And you're paying on the interest still You know these credit cards are fucking demons, man. It's the complete It's why I always tell people why they never go for their dreams Because they get caught up in credit card debt And then there's no way out ever and then your dreams just go fucking away at one point for your dream You know you feel in the back of your mind because you've heard so many stories that That's part of the dream. That's why you go into debt Because in the back of your mind, this is not gonna matter someday

You're gonna have so much money that you'll be able to pay it off. Yeah. Yeah That was my reasoning with three quarters of this shit. Yeah, I just lied to myself. I'm like it doesn't matter One day. I'll see fucking richer pride. He'll like me and bring me on tour and You know, there'll be no suffering. I didn't know about the suffering that went with the journey Yeah, and it was very interesting and You're doing that journey and that's why I said to you that, you know You've been doing it for seven and a half years and you've made huge leaps and bounds Because you had you've been putting weird fucking positions one minute. You were in the haa

Yeah, and next minute you were open up for burn in 900 seat theater Yeah, and two weeks later you opened up for mark man and a thousand seat theater and you had to learn how to cut the fat You know, you've learned it's not that and listen you got into the store Which is a huge accomplishment. But like I said earlier You take a plane to do a fucking spot, you know, I'm your rage. I could take a plane to do a spot, but I with the kid now, you know, yeah, I'll fucking go somewhere and uh, the other It's a temper Yeah

It's gotta be a long week And that's why I'm gonna have a good time for two days with there you go I gotta make a little pit stop and fucking filly, you know what I'm saying before I go to fucking Pittsburgh. Yeah And see if a man about a dog Yeah, it's fucking You know what it's it's hard work, man. It's the hardest thing I've ever done But I fucking love it, man I love it

You know It's the hardest easiest thing I've ever done, right, you know, right and Lee and I we've had discussions on the podcast about Hard work and whatever field you picked as long as you're hard working and you're honest and you Do the right thing, you know at one point it all has to flourish At one point if you really really really believe in your heart that this is what you genuinely want to do Yeah, if you want to draw murals and hopefully people give you 50 bucks But if they give you 4 000 you ain't gonna turn it down. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah You're living that type of lifestyle. Eventually somebody is gonna give you four thousand dollars for a mural

And eventually somebody's gonna give you eight thousand because somebody gave you four thousand Then somebody's gonna give you twelve thousand because somebody gave you eight thousand It's just you hanging in there and it's just It's such a bullshit thing to sell somebody, especially somebody young who's like, fuck you People out there. You new people adam saying, I don't know, buddy Once the movie's done, they disconnect their phone. Nobody knows nobody Yeah, once the project's over, you don't know nobody Although no, I'm not talking bad about adam adam is he brought his crew all the time. Yeah. No, he uh

He's always been a fucking good dude like that. That's why he's out of career Because he knows how to cast people for years. He did a great job casting. Yeah And you know, you know, right now he's on Netflix People are bitching man. Holy shit People are pissed at this last fucking couple more. I don't even know what movies have been out I'm not even up on that. I'm sailing on. Yeah, you know, I don't even know what he does I know he went over to Netflix And he released his pictures at Netflix. I know that one of them had Whitney Cummings in it or something like that. So

That's all the fuck I know. I that's why he leaves around. He's supposed to keep me up on this He makes believe he doesn't know He'll start stuttering in a minute. I don't I don't know and then he'll go. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know in Netflix Drop it on people. I've heard the last one Was actually pretty good at but I uh I haven't seen it yet The last one I saw was the the one where it was Chris rock and then they all went to the camping like the family house trip

and It's chris rock Kevin James. Yeah, and and and uh, what's his name? Rob Schneider and they go on a like a Like a camping trip and it was fucking pretty funny, man They go to the waterslides and Steve Bashimi's in it and he crashes on the waterslide and he's in a fucking permanent body cast It was funny, man. And then they did a sequel to it. I didn't see it

But uh, that shit was funny. That was the last one I saw You know, I think that like Judd Apatow is kind of the new Uh, guy with that like putting out the the killer comedies non-stop, you know I love all the stuff he's doing now, you know I don't even know what the fuck he's doing anymore. I know he's doing crashing now love. I'm on love this season What's love? That's an hbm show. Yeah, it's fucking great. Isn't it Netflix? Yeah, netflix. Yeah, netflix Crashing's on hbm. You're gonna fucking promote a fucking show if you don't know what network no crashing's on hbm

And then love is on netflix, but love is about how many seasons it's gonna be the third season And it's fucking funny, man. It's shot over in silver lake It's this hipster chick and a hipster dude and And they meet and by chance and man, they're both fucking lunatics. It's a great show I think it's one of the best shows that nobody's talking about. It's so fucking funny, man So it's the third season third season. I'll be on season three march First you got on from hanging out at the commie store doing spots at the store Fucking guy saw me do a set man and he was like, you know, we started talking and

And he's like, what do you got going? I was like fucking nothing, dude. I got no manager. I got no agent He's like that's where to see man I got yeah, I got nothing a week later. I got a call They're like, uh, we got a role for you on love and I was like fuck. This is incredible, man and You know, you let me come down there and just improv and shit and then after he's like you were great, man Made a call to a manager check this guy out and They got solid

solid dude, man Great, you didn't get it from sitting at home Fuck you didn't get it because you were angry because they don't have enough white dudes at the fucking store Yeah, you went down there like an animal got on So he was on he liked your shit. You spoke to him for a little while Yeah, and and people get pissed at you like I was telling him when I got up here People look at them like why the fuck does he get that and I don't get that That's when it starts at the store. Like I was always cooler at the store

Until I started booking tv shit Yeah By the time I got the spider-man 2 I could feel the fucking agent in my neck Every time I walked in there and they were talking to me but go but look at this fucking fat fucking cocaine And Or at least what I that's what I thought right, but I wouldn't think it didn't felt it Yeah, I didn't feel it. You know what I'm saying? It's kind of weird to I never have any uh

ill thoughts to anybody in this My enemies are cancer and heart attacks and if somebody's doing good It's just great for the biz for the store and everything. I never go like fuck that guy got that I just never have that mentality. I I really don't get that because that's how you go down You end up going down that way because you when you don't get stuff you get angry And then you you start to fucking do bad moves and then people don't want to work with you You know, they're like that guy's a negative dude or whatever. It's just like we're all in this together, man It should be us against the business. Well, I'm gonna tell you something

for me I was here my first year I didn't think things were moving as fast As they should like everybody else who comes here. That's young and stupid and thinks that this Is made overnight And you made a good point, but I'm too fucking high to remember uh I don't even know

Help me out Lee you're the fucking Lee you're not taking notes. You're not the man behind the plan Lee All right. No, I have no plan at this point It's been one of those nights here on the podcast We had to push the envelope tonight last night We showed up And then we found out midway that lee uh, my man dean delray had the wrong night. I told him the wrong night I was high as fuck

And uh, Lee and I sat here for a while. We talked shit. We kept the periscope up. Who gave a fuck You know, we were already here. Yeah, and we tricked you motherfucker. So here we are But we went deep last night into the murky waters of the underworld But to not have taken a little deeper because he's been slipping lately. I'm saying no narcos all this time He knows I love him, you know, but I gotta tell him I didn't know he had rules about watching I can't wait for season i'm gonna watch season 3p of the fucking church I'm gonna watch it this weekend your girlfriend's mexican

You should already watch that taking notes. So while you're watching you can ask how many people what's this 20 of life? What's this 17 years? You know, you gotta be having games you want to be interested. I'm just trying to tell you Yep My point is can't argue with that We're you know, everybody down there at the store, man. It's just a I think it's a great vibe everybody should just be you know fucking pulling for each other I know that I tell you

When you come here, you're here for the first year things ain't moving as fast as you want And all of a sudden something happens You start looking like the people close to you And you start seeing what they have instead of focusing on what they have You should focus on you know saying what you're looking to get But I gotta tell you something there's a period after you hear like a Like at the two-year mark where you look at your comic friends where you both eat you both Call your peers we they start at the same time

I've been in comedy at the same time as you and it was ever moving kind of quicky kind of get mad at It's just a natural instinct. Yeah, and then he'll have something good happen Maybe something good happen And now you really get angry deep down inside But one day you man up and you go, you know what man? What am I being angry about? That's good. We're friends If he got that guess what I could do

So you kind of flip your mind To have the advantage here. Yeah, and that's what I started doing. I knew there was people getting shit that Were terrible, but that's the way life is. There was nothing I could do. Yeah There was nothing I could do I don't control it All I could do is keep getting on stage every night And get better and try to be the funniest cat I could be and that's why did I get my mouth shut? I didn't argue with no, but I knew I knew the recipe. I wanted to put it to the test Yeah, you gotta know the recipe and put it to the test. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and that's what you're doing

At least I had what he got cooking good. Look and look at you. How was your labor there? Uh, it was pretty good. We went to the ice house. That was fun. Oh, yeah, so our buddies Steve Simone red band I saw you this morning that fucking Marie T. Yes, sir sitting there like a judge eating fun Did you give the cat the dogs from bacon? I apologize. Yes. Good. You're supposed to give them back into the barc at you Yeah, they make noises. Yeah, we're kind of very interesting. It's adorable. Yes. I told you Who the fuck do you think of the least I had?

Who do you think puts the fucking sizzle and missile uncle joey does you understand me? I've been going down there for years. They just started serving breakfast Least I had my brother tell him how good the bacon is the best bacon I've had in LA Tell him about the potatoes. Where are you going? We go to a coffee shop. Marie etc. Where's that at? Riverside and cotton cofax It's a old coffee shop. It's been there. I've been going there for 10 years pastries that type of shit. Don't touch it When did they get a kitchen in there? I'm looking around

I'm looking at these sandwiches and this shit. Yeah, finally one day I go to meet somebody in the morning I look at the breakfast I look at the bacon slices and I go and then I get the and the home fried potatoes or real potatoes with onions and red peppers and green peppers I'm like, wow and they give you multi-grain toast Oh, and instead of giving you two eggs to give you a three one Wow, in case you're gonna give somebody a stabbing like that. Am I lying? Am I lying?

No, they're delicious and they and they cook them to order And they actually know how to cook it. Yeah, and they bring it out to you quick to eat it outside You have a cup of coffee. You're right. Yeah You know what I'm saying? While I'm waiting for the eggs I make my calls I outline what I'm gonna write Once I get the eggs I stop what I'm doing blah blah blah once they leave I map up the table And poop you put your little fucking iPod on and you start a fucking typing and there you go You made a complete day. Yeah after two hours you're allowed to get up

And stretch your legs to get circulation for the last thousand words of the day Where you at on the new half hour? The new half hour I'm probably honest honest. Yeah, probably 12 minutes in. Yeah, that's good Burrow always told me if you could get one minute a week Just one minute a week You're fucking getting there And I thought you know when you look at it is one minute a week. It sounds more attainable than I need a new hour

One minute a week. That's how I look at it now That's four minutes a month. You get up to 54. What 54 minutes a year right there One minute a week That's a cool way to look at it, right Yeah, no, that's and it's true. It's absolutely true. Yeah something all the times I do those little rooms. That's part of it. Lee tapes it And I will tell you something It's a way I said something. Yeah, you're so right. It's the cadence. That's what you really learned Yeah, you learned. Wow. I can't believe I said I listened to those tapes and I fall backwards

Yeah, because I forgot where that came from how it came from. Yeah, why it came from I just was in such a personal zone because the pressure's off. Yeah, I don't like the store the pressure's on I'm too old for the pressure to be on. I'm the opposite. I love the pressure. I I love the pressure, but not Well, I'm trying to write new store. I hear you. I hear you Because you get in there like burr was telling me a couple nights ago I go, man, I'm trying to work these stories out. It's I'll just go start bombing I go, yeah, but It's tough when you're fucking on at nine o'clock and it's sold out. You know what I mean?

Like you got to go bomb somewhere else. So I bomb on the road now That's I that's why I go to new york, man. Just fucking get out in it bombing Eliminates bombing. Yep. One of the more you fucking bomb at something at first The more bombs you're eliminating. Absolutely. And it sounds kind of weird. There's percentages 12 percentages Yep, the more you go on the stage the more you're gonna bomb. Okay, but then the other them one day It's gonna start going the other direction And you're gonna start bombing less and less and having up high percentage of jokes And from time to time you my dog. I still remember

like 93 94 Was like my struggle. Yeah, I had started 91 and I didn't really put it together. It's like 93 And that's what I was trying to make moves They were good moves, but I just wasn't ready for the other moves. Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't cover the spread And I was trying you know what I'm saying? I Don't remember the exact memories, but I will tell you something

If you touch my heart, you can feel the beat that it's My heart still remembers what those days felt like. Yeah Those are fucking rough days, man. Yeah, I only you want trying to figure it out Oh, you know right now I have to take that feeling like if this is this is Anthony Robbins type shit I got to take that feeling and put it into my fucking brain now in that part of your brain And this will carry me like this will make me go on the road every week of the month. Yeah be a savage. Yeah. Yeah It's like when curly smelled the wild hyacinth Yeah, it's the same fucking thing. Well, yeah, it's it's

It's an amazing thing, you know, and you're part of it. Lee's part of it. Lee's seen it Lee see what consistency is. Yeah, there's no fucking nothing. What are you talking about? What do you got? What do you got better than we do two of these a week? It's great. You ain't got time to do two of these a week. What else you doing your fucking life I love saving the world. You ain't gonna have that dude on 24 Huh? Are you asking are you asking me? Yeah, he's cooked right now. I like it. Sure. He's cooked. Is that what I've ever said anything about the two we do? We got about the what? About the what?

I'm always here. I never said he would. My brother dog. Come on now You were just saying you wanted to take out that excursion. I got some like good Lee impression tears one of them No, he made the noise before But when he passed out, he took one long head and He didn't move. He didn't pass out. He went I was up like a soldier. He didn't pass out. I rode that shit out. He went into a deep zone. Yeah, I went in. That's a complete different situation. I was sitting there. If you look, the eyes are open and I'm even answering. I'm going. Yeah Yeah

One of my favorite nights here ever People talk about it. It's great when I go on the road. I like that one episode dude where you You were fucked up on the 24 karat That was great I'm happy you're back Got any dates? Oh, this is big big important. I want to see what I can get going here I didn't know when I booked this fucking date that it was two days after a three day weekend But I'm headlining bray on wednesday night

Now I'm not going to sit here and blow smoke up people's asses. There was only 10 tickets sold yesterday So if we can get some people in the room I'm going to be running an hour on wednesday night Even if we can get fucking 10 more at least it's 20. It's a big fucking room. Come on. If you're local, you ain't doing dick Put those last 20 dollars on the atm card. You get paid on friday next week. Fuck them. Yeah, come to braya this wednesday night september 6th And uh and see me run an hour man, it's it's and I hope you guys come out man because uh

I love running an hour. Well, yeah, I don't I don't get to do it enough around here. You know, it's always on the road You know, what if you watch denny's having a good time? You know timmy said that he watched and you improved the last two times you've seen yet The time before that and the time this time so I could tell I could tell where you're at You're at the club. You're fucking loose. You know, yeah, yeah, and that's how you get funny my friend So I congratulate you and that's I want to open up the month with my brother dean delray Besides, we always talk a little fucking music. I love like a shout out shit. No. No, hold on. Nothing. You did Watch you looking sucker evil dick

johnny five sand men david macca salvatore sage Chris de martin Sean quadri And jay vomit android greg riley, you know, I love you motherfuckers Always I appreciate you Listen to the church Now let me talk to you people about something, all right

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saturday night the ice house Working out with uncle joey 730. You're out of there by nine Just working on new stuff 15 bucks. What do you give a fuck? Come on down. You're out of there by 9 30. Have a great week. Stay black Be good Time Cheat I am I breathe

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