Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #518 - Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: September 21, 2017

Chris D'Elia, Comedian, actor, and host of the "Congratulations with Chris D'Elia" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first three meals free and free shipping!   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Recorded live on 09/20/2017.


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It's great. You get your first week for free. There you have it blueapen Kick that mule Oh shit Black people jumping up and down I love it Crystal Lea Yeah, yeah, Rasha Shauna boy The original Christ killer Lisa at hello

Oh Shit Wednesday the 20th of September halloween's around the corner cop suffers What's happening you bad motherfuckers uncle Joey here, Chris Delia here. What's up? I add here Fucking great to have you on the show. I'm happy to be here. I'm happy. I was asked That song takes me back to actually like hearing that takes me back to high school That would which would be the second time that song came out again, right? Right the second time that I could reissue that was a That's fucking crazy how music can do that dude. I used to listen to that every day And I like that out the movie when it first came out you were in all in

Yeah, no, not you I fainted. What do you mean? I can't see fucking really blood So that heroin scene I went down the girl on a date put a raisin net in my mouth to wake me up And I came back there, so I never really finished a good reason that commercial Yeah, then I went back when I lived in Seattle and I watched the whole thing and now whatever is on I watch it You know what honestly pulp fiction is one of those movies. I think that if If you watch it now It's not as good because so many fucking filmmakers and movies have copied that that now It's like so annoying and old so it fucked it up for watching that movie, which was the original version of it

Do you know I'm saying yeah, like you watch all these goofy movies like this and then you'll watch this movie You'll be like ah fuck. It's another one of those movies. You know I mean like kids would see that shit But but it was the first of its kind, right? No, it was I thought it was great. I didn't know who the fuck he was Yeah, and I thought it was great. I think I went back and watch true romance or something Oh, yeah, I came out. Yeah, he had a few movies and I you know they're great movies even now you watch your romance It's fucking awesome. Yeah, it's fucking crazy You a movie buff. I mean

Not I would say no my brother has sees literally everything, but no I'm not how many brothers you got I got one brother Sister he's younger. No sisters. No, and what do you mean? He watches everything He just watches everything. I mean first of all, he's a he's a filmmaker a writer writer director But so he just you think you know, it's his business, but he also loves it Yeah, but he'll see I'll just be like yo if I want to know if something's good I'll just ask him even though he fucking hates everything. You know, he's one of those guys But uh, yeah That is a weird thing with people in like the film and TV industry

Even when I went to school like everyone like they you get there and like I was so excited to start film school Like what's your favorite? Like every time you ever talk about movies unless it's like Breathless or something black and white. They're like, oh this that's terrible. It's garbage. Yeah, the fuck is breathless. It's a French movie Yeah from like that. I remember that I had the fucking VHS Because I used to like love Like all that like I was a huge is still I'm John Cassavetes fan like I would watch all his movies And I'd watch them over and over again when I was like 23 and that movie my dad gave me that VHS and he was like you got to watch this one

And I never watched it just because it was so it's like so black and white and so fucking one of those movies Yeah, it's not it's not an easy movie to watch like the 20s. I would think it's what's one of the first ones It's it's fine when you're learning the history of film But like there's I don't know it was like made with like a Lumiere or whatever the fuck those cameras are right Hit me with some Cassavetes movies Woman under the influence was a big one. My favorite one was husbands, which not many people saw but haven't seen it It was my favorite one when I was I found my dad had a VHS copy of it, and I watched it and I

Loved it, and you couldn't even find it back then. I don't you probably find it somewhere now, but it was so like it came out and like either I think in that either Like either 79 or like early 70s or something like that or maybe 80, but it was so good It was about three dudes one was Peter Faulk Ben Ben gazera and the other one was John Cassavetes and their friend dies and They basically Decide that they're like they're like this funeral was bullshit. They didn't even say anything personal about them So they go out and they kind of like have a night or two of debauchery

And they just don't go home to their wives and then they end up in Paris just kind of like being like these fucking You know dudes that are trying to deal with it their friends death And it was so good because it was so funny without being it was just like being a guy It was like it was like it's exactly what it's like being a guy. I thought that movie husbands is it's the it's to me the best movie That I've ever seen because because of that because it doesn't try and they're so funny But but they're obviously friends and Cassavetes had a really good way of doing that But I even like killing of the Chinese bookie, which everybody fucking hated, but I love that movie I love Ben gazera. I love Ben gazera is this shit when he there's a scene in the in the killing of the Chinese bookie

Where he's in a limo and the whole scene is him sitting in the limo and then at the end of the scene he just says He says I'm terrific and that shit like I'm howling when I watch shit like that And Cassavetes was so good at at at At at that like machismo male kind of a shit shot was a shit. You know shit. That was a shit That's what you have capturing. Yeah, he liked that tough. Yeah, I love that shit So he was he was always my favorite. Did you ever see Ben gazera in that fucking movie with a spike Lee? The 44 caliber killer where they have to go to him. He's the mob boss. He was playing John Gotti No, like an off-color John Gotti

In 44 in that stupid fucking movie that spike Lee did which I enjoyed the movie. I'm just saying that I don't know What is it? 44 caliber killers. That's what it's called. Whatever that dude that killed people in New York. Oh With with fucking oh, yeah, what John Leguizamo Sam Sam Yeah, I saw that yeah bank is there isn't that yeah, I don't remember that Benga Zara is who they go to okay my boss that they go to okay to Try to get this help Okay, and he's like look. I enjoyed that movie. He's like look at this for years. You go to the police

Now you come to me and sit out boys Have a little spaghetti and he fucking invites them down and you're like Jesus Christ. I love that shit that Italian shit You know what's another scene that I always thought was a brilliant scene that had no comedy involved But just the whole scene is hilarious good fellas and they go to the mothers. Oh, yeah, forget it You're sitting there with your mom, but there's a guy in the fucking trunk just that alone Yeah, that alone that alone was and and I could see like we got a gun in the trunk We got a heavy fuck. No, they're pouring ketchup and salt and pepper and asking us for seconds and shit Yeah, then they ask her for a knife mom. We got to borrow a knife. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know that whole scene

Yeah, yeah, yeah after like the first time you watch it to chop up that body. Yeah, you didn't know how you felt Yeah, but now I'm looking love. Yeah, if it comes on you watch that scene and go that is fucking hilarious My favorite movies my favorite movies and this is what? Cassavetes did this really well my favorite movies you you This I don't know the way this sounds done but you don't have to watch it from the beginning to the end you can like turn it on and it's on and you could watch like 35 minutes of it and you and and and like good fellas is like that to me, you know, and and and I like those movies Because it's less about the what happens and more about the characters, you know, so funny when you get home and good fellas is

Yeah, even if it's on a paid channel. Yeah, I always want to see what time it started So if it's 10 after 10 and it's the start of that night, yeah, that means the Billy bat scene Yeah, right around the corner because it comes in an hour an hour 15 hour 10 commercials They cut a minute a couple fuck yous. Yeah, so I Always if I look to see what time it starts a Billy bat saying come on I fucking watch Billy bats and that's a shame. He died last week. Oh, yeah. Yeah guy like Yeah made his career like I know like people say well, you don't want it What's the expression people always saying they're like you don't want to get a what's that cat vision health?

Yeah, well, he never played a priest right like he never played nothing else But a fucking gang's like that's what you hide them for I think and do the right thing He played the guy in the car. I saw movie. I've never seen do the right thing. Yeah, it took me fucking There was two movies that it took you years to sell me do the right thing was the first one That took years to sell me leave the weapon. I refuse to fucking lovely Love it. Why why didn't you want to see it? I don't know the trailer. Maybe I just did I just wasn't in a fucking mood. That's so far. I was into drugs and get my dick sucked Taking 12 credits. I had no time to watch fucking a black cop in a white

And then I had a warrant out for my arrest and I couldn't leave the house. So I had to watch movies So I said, okay, this is a good time to watch movies when you got a warrant So I went I got fucking leave the weapon and above the law Steve oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I fucking you know, I've always loved Mel Gibson I don't give a fuck with anybody says, you know, people have bad nights. They say shit when they do They just say shit when they have three drinks and that's why you and I don't drink because we don't want to say Yeah, I don't fucking pop with a microphone in your hand. So but I love you know, I loved all that shit I fucking enjoy a like the Godfather. Yeah, there's a lot of bad mob movies, but there's a lot of good

Well, that's what happened was that what I'm talking about they fucked it up They there were a few good ones and now everybody thinks they're gonna make the next fucking Godfather And then it's just like put a bad taste in your mouth. Well, the palm was through the sopranos was just that good Yeah, it was so good. The sopranos took it to such a level that they they explored every avenue Yeah, so even if you were to write something now, what are you gonna fucking write? Look at these homes. They get together to another movie. Yeah, that that genre is so yeah, it's done They can't sell it. Yeah, and every time I get an audition and it says Gino, right Gino Rocco, right? Just turn it down if you're still talking about you know, it's gonna be bad. Yeah, or are done. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, it's done. It's done. So that's that's the fucking thing But I'm a movie guy do and I like the guy movies. I like cast of that is that that killing of a Chinese? Yeah, I loved that movie. Jesus. I haven't seen that like 10 years and it was just on about two or three months ago It was on late night. Oh, really? Oh, somebody has wow. Yeah, I have all those DVDs man. What made you stand them? I Oh, I just always assumed I would do it since you yeah Yeah, yeah, I always like my dad tells a story where when I came in the room he was watching a Jerry Lewis movie and

and I walked in the room and I was playing my toys and I looked up and I saw him being goofy and Just being silly and I and I stopped and I looked at him and my dad like, you know Registered that I was watching him and I said and then I turned to my dad and I said hey, dad is that That man on TV is is this is that his job? And he said what do you mean? I said like is his job to just make people laugh and my dad said yeah And I said huh I said and he makes money and he makes money doing that and my dad said yes No matter if he makes a lot of money and then my dad said I went like this

Huh, and he was like that was the moment where he knew that I registered like oh shit like you can do that I wanted to do that because I was already like a cut-up. You know, I mean even though I was a little kid But yeah, I never imagined I wouldn't be a stand-up. There's a scene in another professor. Yeah, it was last time you watch I mean not and I mean so long ago next time you get a minute There is one scene in another professor when he goes to psychology Psychologist's office and he goes in. I don't remember. Oh my god Lee and it's funny with a suit like he's a fucking nutty Right, the only thing I remember is the working out. Yeah, he's like ha ha ha But now he's like smooth good look and he's got like a fucking tuxedo

Yeah, yeah, the cigarette his nails are done and he goes in to see this guy and he goes dog I got I got a problem or something. I think I got two personalities and the guy The guy gives him something the guy says something to him He goes doc the last time somebody told me that they gave me a bill for 42 Dollars he goes the guy goes what'd you do? He goes I gave it to the other guy and told him to split the bill 21 or something stupid. Yeah, yeah, but I fucking died. Oh, that's the only part. I like I don't even know if I like that movie or not. It's probably so dated though now, right? My you know what I wish they would fucking do and that they don't do anymore or the are like the naked gun or the airplane movies

Those movies to me Nothing funnier, and they don't do them anymore. They don't know how I know they were they trying to for a while Well, they try they do like the version of it now is like what is like the Is like the scary movies, right shit, which is just different. It's it's not even the same and I I But like the airplane movies and the and the and the naked gun and that shit I don't know people. I feel like people think that's corny now, but fuck that. I love it even cannonball run Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the second one was corny, but the first one was good Nothing they've forgotten how to do that. We were watching Lenny Bruce. Yeah for the show. Yeah

To stand up you got a camera. I put it on you watch a fucking stand up Yeah, what have they done to stand up now cut it all up 22 fucking cameras We put a camera on top. Yeah to show the ball spot on you Yeah, fuck just show me direct cut me up at the waist. You don't got to show them go like this They can hear you. Yeah. Yeah, we've just not to mention the fucking cranes are so distracted when you're on stage You're on stage. They're so distracting You don't like wreck you probably don't think about this at home But like when you're on stage and there was an island on my last special where I was looking at it like where I always

Looked this way and I didn't realize that I've been doing the act for a year and a half And I didn't realize that that was where the cranes gonna be and it's just so fucking distracting It fucks you up sometimes and for the audience too because then like yeah, yeah There's a crane and it's so bright. Yeah, when you do a special would you do yours your last one Chicago? Where at the Zany's oh, yeah, and the other one rose. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like Zany's rose. Yeah a lot They're blue collar. I was awesome. Yes. There's one downtown. I bomb Really? I go down there just to eat a bag of Dixit They just stare at me the one of the fucking suburbs they bring knives to stab themselves to stop laughing

You know the one down there is like a fucking I can't imagine you bombing. No, it's a fucking nightmare. It's there's some clubs that Yes, we're right like maybe it's the room or some shit. There's some clubs that I think at first I used to go You know what? It's me putting shit in my own head. Hmm. It's me going. I don't like that room There's some rooms you just fucking died that that the war something is not I still don't know I still I've done stand up now. It'll be 11 years coming up. I still don't know sometimes I don't know if it's because who's that the Seinfeld that's like it's never the room. It's it's never the audience It's always you. I just don't know if I believe that I Don't know if I don't know if I don't know if I believe that maybe it is true

But like maybe maybe sometimes you bomb and you're like I Think it's the audience. How is it me? How is it me at this point? I've done this for so long Do you know I'm saying I don't what do you feel I don't know if Just for example with the comedy movies not even stand up if you go to like an opening night Like I saw Borat opening weekend with a pack theater and I was dying It's gonna be bonkers. Yeah, we're falling out of their seats You want Borat at home? What it was not gonna be like that and it's not as funny. It's just so I don't know if maybe Like some rooms. I don't know maybe the the people in one area were bad

So then everyone around them in a 10-table radius gets weirded out or maybe there was a lot of traffic coming and it's it's a weird There's a lot of external things that because I've seen Joey do his act Yeah, hundreds of times and it changes but I've seen it in Succession and there's different nights that go better than like we had a I mean you did you've changed the set a little bit But we you did the first show in the second show and the second show for the Special for the special wasn't a lot better than the first show. Yeah, the first show was just a fucking nightmare So it's a really first show you put a lot of dude I had the first show on my last special was a nightmare, dude, and I was like what I

Literally afterwards was like my career is over. I thought so too. It's so dumb to think that but like you do in that moment I had the mic was cutting out and shit And I was like it was that was one of first times where I was like Yelling at people like in my career where I was like what the fuck who's who can I yell up for this like I'm yelling and shit Yeah, and and then the second one went went went well And then and then when I rewatched them the first one because the mic was cutting out I had this energy where I was like no motherfuckers not today and we used a lot of that shit because it was way better way better So you never know but yeah, and it's it was interesting

We had a one of our friends watched this the set and I think they said something to the effect of it I might have even been the last one where where the crowd isn't that as into it you Like the way you told the jokes was a lot more like the way that you had prepared it Yeah, and then sometimes when the audience is going crazy Maybe you ad-lib a little bit more so it's it's better in the room, but then totally dude That's that's a hundred percent. You do when you you see some of these guys that fucking murder at the comedy store And then they have a special and they're like, okay, this is my special here. We go. That's a bad. That's a bad vibe man I haven't

Really because here's the thing you here's the thing that you got it that I think like Comedians have to realize is when you're doing when you're doing your special you're in the room and you're it It's the energy of the room that's feeding to this moment, but you have to remember that people are gonna be watching this shit here They're gonna be fucking there's close-ups of your face. So if you're amped up doing this shit, it's not gonna read at home You're gonna look like a fucking asshole. I remember thinking that because of Something I did Because I've been acting you know, I mean I've been acting so I was 16 and I remember whenever I would do some shit

And then see it I would see it later on TV. I'd be like, oh, that's what that looks like I moved my face too much Do you know I mean and I'm very animated as it is on stage so you know you are too So you got to think about that shit like about your face and like I've seen people fuck up their specials because of that Well, for my case, it was completely different in my case. It was that one in there thinking that was Seinfeld Not sign for a dog. I'm telling you. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you fucking doing sign for who the fuck are you to go up there and do your jokes? Yeah, precisely, right, right, right, right. I am one of the second sign angle. That's it. Hmm. I went back there Smoked a joint. I even smoke the signal. I smoke the Marlboro light just to bring me back a little bit

And I changed it all up. This was a second show for your second show focus on the words Don't focus on the words. I know, you know, they always said that Mom and Brando didn't know the words in the Godfather. He didn't know his lines, but he knew the character Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you know the character the words will come out I was going up there trying to be Seinfeld trying to be fucking Monologists to try to be what's the guy that developed the sign Lighting pal show. Oh, uh, Neil Brennan. I was trying to be no Brennan. You know, I'm not Neil Brennan Yeah, and then the second show is like hold on slow that down. This is who I am

Yeah, it was a complete different ball game. So even though they did use some stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah from the first show Well, because you don't know you don't know how it comes across But yeah, you get in your head and shit. It's hard when you shouldn't especially it's fucking hard because they're like this is it This is the fucking this is fight night. This is what I've trained for you know I mean and it's hard to even though when you get on stage You know, you hope to fall into that rhythm to where like, okay, I've been doing this for years But it's it's still hard to not fucking think okay. This is what it is. This is the moment This is what the world is gonna say

Potentially millions of people are gonna see this People that don't know who you are gonna see it and be like fuck this guy fuck this guy, you know, I mean Yeah, so I had the weirdest thing happen to me during my special What ready right ready for this? Yeah first special I bought first taping I go inside and I Call my hair I smoke some pot. I get my head together. I come up fucking first 20 minutes is gold Mm-hmm. I'm home for you. Nice. Yeah. Oh, that feels so good. Guess what happened. What? These two fucking jerks. No

Right in front of me started fighting. What a girl and oh get the fuck out of here And you did it as any sorts intimate. So he was like this at the thing and he's hammered and she's embarrassed as fuck She's a sweetheart that brought lose a boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was probably coming by herself Right, right, right and then on the way out. I'll go see that loser with you Right, right now he came and was you know, he was saying shit Delia. I positioned my foot I swear to my mother's grave, bro There was one point like the 24-minute mark that I watched the special and I could see really face I even positioned my thing and I was just gonna kick him in the face and end it my career

We're gonna end. Yeah, I get it right there. He saw it on stage. Oh on stage. They're fighting Oh, no, I'm on stage and I'm watching him and I finally gave him like a look and I went back And I didn't want it to see on my face. Yeah, I was sweating bullets that my career was gonna come to a fucking end Yeah, and I go, you know what? I'm gonna position my hip and I'm gonna kick him Yeah, right in the fucking face once and for all. Yeah, but in the middle of this door I go join get it together for this and I went back to it and you're telling jokes during all this I'm selling jokes during this whole thing at the end I was gonna go out there and just choking the dead and then the staff came over to me and they said they didn't know

What to do? Yeah, I know right up front What would happen if they approached them and now we have a fucking argument and now I'm on stage So that's what happened. I was about to kick this fucking guy Right in the fucking face and then the guy over here said something to you Said hey, bro No, that was one of the worst nights in my fucking life that that that I wanted to kick him in the fucking head I get like a lot of like Did this shit drives me nuts?

I get it at shows, but like when you're shooting a special I get a lot of these And you're like, all right, I don't need this shit for it. You're stepping on my punch lines with the woos Do you know what I mean? These chicks and and they think they're liking you which they are but it's like Girlfriend that was a war and I couldn't bring it to the car when people go Are you out of your fucking mind? What are you doing laugh or don't laugh? That's all I ever want. Don't laugh You're gonna woo. What the fuck are you on? You're not fucking stupid. You got to be the woo

You're fucking stupid. You got to be the woo. You're not fucking so I don't give a shit I honestly don't give a shit if you're out a fucking angels game. You're a fucking moron if you will I Fucking hated it tries. I never understood it. I never got it So I never I never got the memo on the whizzlers at your shows like like the group like the little people can do Like I can't even do it think yeah that that like Or whatever the fuck right the thing about that is at least that's only gonna be in the beginning Okay, you know no is no he's gonna do that shit if you do that shit in the middle I'll fucking walk out and strangle you but if you I'll get my openers to fucking do that shit

I get my opener come on stage. I'll walk out and strangle you but like yeah The woo thing happens like every fucking four minutes. Oh, no They just I've noticed that on at some shows like they have like instead of a laugh They have a go-to either saying or noise or they clap real loud. It's really it's odd Did you see that? Have you seen that this was this is great? Have you seen the Eddie Eddie Murphy's on stage? It's like I don't know what it's from it might it's an outtake. I don't think it was on any special But where he's oh shit and then Charlie Murphy's some girl says something. Oh, yeah, I mean Murphy says shut up bitch And you hear it and it sounds like Eddie Murphy because his brother. What is that from dude that shit killed me

I guess so that's so funny. Yes, but it went viral like some last month last month or something God that shit is so funny Like right away. Just shut up bitch before what I was telling you those two movies that refused to watch. Yeah, yeah Do the right thing? No Harlem night delirious. Oh, oh, it was in delirious. It was yes. Yes. Yeah, they cut it out deliver. Okay. Okay. Oh, fuck That's killer. Um, I would not see him and then my I took a sociology class and they made me watch do the right thing I fell in love with yeah, yeah, yeah, I haven't seen it and then the other one Harlem nights Haven't seen that one either. It was just like a bunch of black guys fucking talking shit. I'm gonna relate and oh my god

Yeah, it's a fucking masterpiece Richard Pryor is great. Yeah, Murphy's great. Yeah, the chick is great I'm there. It's a fucking great movie Red Fox is fucking killing. Yeah, but no, I wouldn't watch those fucking movies at all I'm not watching that shit do the right thing It comes on once a month and I watch if I get home Danny. I yellow John Tutoro, yeah, I had a great cast. Yeah, it's a great cast wait not to be boring, but where'd you grow up? North, Bergen, New Jersey. Okay But I had a lot of action in New York City like when I was growing up I was right next to New York City. Yeah, so I was there half the day, right?

So to get drugs you got to go to all those fucking crazy spots and you just can't get drugs You got to buy a slice of pizza and fuck the car So I got to see all those places in Brooklyn and the Bronx and yeah, so when I watched do the right thing it just taught me how Where I came from it's 19 different nationalities talking about another but at the end of the day they make it work That's a do the right things about hmm But a black guy going to a drug liquor store that's owned by a Korean Yeah, and he tells them I want batteries and the guy can't pronounce battery So he goops on them and but at the end of the day everybody gets along, you know

I was in shock when you said you were from Montclair. Yeah, I know mom dad everybody Yeah, well my mom is from Newark and then my dad's from my dad's from Queens. Yeah, and honey in the Montclair So they met at Ithaca. They went to Ithaca. Yeah, and then you know, they wanted a place that was good for us kids You know what I mean, so they wound up at Montclair. It's a great place. Yeah, I don't know how it is now I don't either. I heard it. I heard it's awesome. I heard that they got that theater now I guess dice was just there. They were telling me when I was doing the stress factory But they got some theater there. That's that's great apparently, but it's a Montclair upper Montclair They got fucking great houses, man

You know, I don't know back then you can get them for a price, but now I now know. Yeah, you're in no Yeah, probably not I used to play flag football out there I think I played like five games because he'll the fuck is gonna get up Sunday Yeah, when you're 19 and those are the worst days you play flag football you get up Monday You think we get hit by a truck? Yeah, but there was a guy that was five foot eight And he was like a middle linebacker. He sold cars. He was very sweet. We used to call him black Sam That was his name black Sam turned out. He was Sam fucking mills He ended up playing for the North Saints and he ended up being the smallest really like a

Fucking all-time five foot eight. That's hilarious little line back. That's crazy. We were playing flag football with him He's wow that's funny. You have a flag football. Where did you play flag football? They was something in Montclair like a stadium and there'd be four games at once like a park So there'd be four games at once just a bunch of 19, you know, it's a it's a men's league You put two flags the line you could tackle, but you can't use your hands. That's what it was. It's like what year? This is 84 Wow, dude, that's 84 83 around there 82

But how fuck it and I know this is I mean, this is so like this sounds so What I don't know how it sounds but like I was the fact that you were there in 84 playing flag football And I was four in the same fucking town and now we're sitting here doing this fucking podcast that I think about that kind of shit That trips me out like that's so wild how people fucking Connect and they were right next to each other and now they're you know buddies and shit broken hangs out with Eddie Bravo Mm-hmm. Eddie Bravo's got a black belt black kid nicest kid in the good world. He makes a living telling people he's Brazilian Makes one of them. He talks Brazilian Eddie brothers black. No his friend. Oh the kid. Okay. Yeah, I was like, what the fuck talking one day Well, they came from Cuba got beat up at Central Park. Yeah, my mom put me in karate

His father was my karate teacher. No, that's that's 50 fucking years ago. I'm 54. That's insane That's 50. How do you even figure that out? We just started talking and wow, how did you get to jiu-jitsu? Yeah, my father was a karate teacher really where New York City where 90th Street on Upper West Side on Amsterdam Are you fucking mr. Orange? Yeah? Oh, no, how do you know my dad? I walked in there when I was five with a black eye Wow fucking took me and made me run and punch the bag and that's crazy So those type of connections are the weirdest so weird When now they have don't they have that thing now on out Which I kind of like I mean, I'm not a match calm, but I saw the commercial for it

Yeah, where you walk by them you go walk by people. Oh, yeah, I heard about what is it? Yeah, I don't know. It's kind of weird But it's like if you if you like in a certain area with somebody and maybe I haven't you I didn't use match But me it's probably like if you're in an area with someone and then you also both like certain things like similar things Maybe they'll tell you that's called it. They're they're ripping off Craigslist. It's called miss connections. Right. Yeah, this connection on Craigslist I never yeah, I don't I don't know if anyone ever ever found anybody, but there's a section on Craigslist where it's like Yeah, somebody people have done being killed on it. You were in Starbucks today wearing a yellow hat and I wish I said hi Yeah, but that yeah and people have met on that for sure

Yeah, cuz that was like a big thing like what was it like? I don't know eight years ago nine years ago or people were making fun of yeah before this Yeah, yeah So what made you get to stand up at the age of 25? Yeah, why so late? Well, okay, I think it's this like I always wanted to do it That was always the goal But I just figured and this is really stupid now that I am a stand-up I know this but like I figured like it's so hard like I was like why don't I get

Credits first and then this way stand-up will be easier Which is the the literally the worst fucking person on stage is that did that and so So I just worked to try and get jobs as an actor. I wasn't getting dick So at a loss I was like all right fucking. I'm not getting any younger might as well start stand-up now and And then I was it like one show in I was like oh my god I wanted to do this. I want to do this forever so weird, but and then and I wanted to do it forever, but also I started when I was 25 like how old were you when you started? Yeah, so I can't

So I can't imagine starting earlier than 25 because like I mean these guys like Chappelle and like Bill Hicks and all they started when they were 15. It's like I don't know what the fuck I would even talked about How crazy is that I used to go to Washington Square Park on Sunday to get Valium's And I would go to McSawley's a house and I would stare from McSawley's I could see the circle Around Charlie Barnett and Dave Chappelle as a kid Wow, old Dave that like 20 years ago when I first met Dave. I used to watch fucking Charlie Barnett till this day is one of my fucking comedy The guy that he studied. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know who he is. Yeah, he was when he was on Miami Vice

I believe it's fucking hilarious. Hmm. It stands up as men's and men's you know, they still have Tapings of him at Central. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty funny Just the fact they go to a park and do that shit and run around and talk to different people So Chappelle used to do that Chappelle would be there opening up with Charlie Wow As a 14 or 15 year old or something. That's fucking crazy. Now. I know he was Dave Chappelle at the time Not a fucking right. He was just skinny black. It's a comedy with the guy Yeah, you know, that's all I knew when I went home and then over the years somebody said that's the guy and then when they I thought Miami improv like in 98 ago. So you were Charlie Barnett and he was telling me he was trying to develop

They were trying to develop something with Opie. Hmm. Whatever his fucking name is About Charlie Barnett, but I guess it went well. So what would they do? What would they do? They would like stand like they would be out at the click it Lee Charlie Barnett Washington Square Park like they stand on a table or some shit. They would stand in the middle of a circle Oh, wow under a fucking like little bridgey thing and just do talk shit talk shit in front of a hundred tourists That's wild and ask for dollar bills or whatever the fuck they did Really? Yeah, I've never seen this. I heard about it though Yeah, dude somebody's got to do a documentary about this thing. Yeah, this is just brilliant

We got a nice crowd here, I love a New York audience I mean look at this crowd. We're in the village. I love the village. We got a nice mixed crowd I mean look what we got. We got white folks We got black folks We got Puerto Rican We got a lot of fucking Puerto Rican But I'm not gonna fuck with the Puerto Rican's man cuz y'all born with knives You'll cut me up, and I won't even know what you're saying me to meet a casino F. Ah

And when you finish you go K-Pasta, bro Cuz I got into a fight with a Puerto Rican kid, and I was winning I was bouncing around like sugar, right? Let it I was bam bam bam. It was only about that tall Then all of a sudden he went like this And I was surrounded by a small Puerto Rican family of I like everything man. Let me bought it. Okay, dude. This is fucking amazing. I like Parker books. I Love Parker books. I like the way white women walk with the Parker book when there's no Negroes around I don't see no

And you know The way different nationalities go to work Everybody goes to work different for instance Caucasian businessman. I need some white people glasses Look at this is people glasses Just taped it. Yeah, what is this? They're like cut to the audience and shit Damn, you can't see shit. I Can touch my dick How do white guys go to work they got their briefcase I can walk just like the white man going to work watch this white guys I

Love when they stand on a corner and go I Do blog folks go to work we be talking about Fucking I should get there by payday Wow, this is amazing, dude, that's fucking he's gotta have five women people But it's like it's what's crazy is like he's got it Project, you know what I mean if you're Puerto Rican. I like Puerto Rican y'all fuck a lot You have babies like Jiffy popcorn

But like you couldn't do it this way in a club, you know what I mean like that I would talk about like knowing the room that you're in you got to like adapt to it And it's just interesting to see somebody have to do it outside like this because of that Now fuck with me Oh Your Japanese are Korean oh you all look alike Don't worry, I'll be talking about niggas in a minute in a minute you'll be gone on nigga funny now You imagine is doing this every Sunday, and this is what you build

And people telling like agents you gotta go down there. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucking insane. This is it and look at that 250,000 views so So should I use the opener for that? Yeah, that's great. Go to the top one. How oh wow How long did he do that for you got next time you see how the fuck do you start that? You start out you start out in the speed right? I'm telling you Yeah, I mean I went back to New York. I saw you in the bow and I was amazed You

Yeah, and watch the square park man, I lost this guy I do pat I like I put drinking and smoking so I do pap work just behind you know Really they said you were here, and we won't risk how many right now, but these fears you'd be in about 20 minutes But we care you want to come meet it here You were coming in To burn up before the flight You burned one before the flight and now how about the other guy asking a stupid fucking question. Yeah, how long is the good fucking Google it? Yeah

Huh Yes, he was like a young kid and he'd go up to I don't know the exact story. Yeah. Yeah, yeah But I remember being up there now like he's got it's not just him He's got a couple guys with him and then years later I have to start that to create that and was I watching the square park. Yeah, it's just crazy like I don't I know You know there's a couple guys I could do that I could never do that go outside and do comedy and I've seen like I grew in in Boston

They have faniola hall where they have street performers I've seen a bunch of street performers and they all have like they're like I think a lot of them are amazing They do juggling they they have a lot of hacks, but I've never seen anyone do stand out. No, I haven't seen no Yeah, now the other guy goes down. Isn't there a guy in Venice Beach? For stand up stand up. Really? Really years? Collier His name was on there also because he was like a big time Venice Beach guy for fucking years

He would come to the store and he'd stand outside and people walk and say hello to him. It wasn't a tv person Yeah, he had just been to Venice Beach for so many fucking years That's uh Wow, that's fucking that blows my mind, you know, I Locked the store for seven years. I woke up on there. I go. This just isn't for me anymore I've been coming here six days a week. Yeah, that's seven fucking years. You know, Mitch. He's great to me I stopped going to the store There was some shit going on down there. I I just said before this blows up right

I'm getting the fuck right and I just went on my way and what would you do by the way? Where'd you go? Like were you doing the improv or what the fuck was the improv? I had a monthly show at brayer I had the ha ha Different rooms at that time. There was all these comics had different rooms all over the way So I just did that. I missed the store And then I started jamie called me. He was come to the laugh back And that's the first time I would talk to arry arry would always tell me about you wait till you see me and like him

And then I went down to the fucking laugh factory when then I saw you and I went home. I had almost exploded I'm like this fucking kid is animating. How are we getting in shape? Dang out with these youngsters. I can't just go up there and hold the mic no more Because I hadn't been over that hill no more. I never really did the laugh factory I was either improv or comedy star guy jamie never liked me I only used to get spots monday nights when gilbert booked the room. Yeah, so when he called me to go back there And I started watching him becoming I'm going fuck that kid's good. Oh, thanks, man He's jumping up and down out there. I had to lose some weight

But like people always go up before I go to jiu-jitsu. I had to lose weight Because they got some youngsters down there. There's some there's some animated guys now. I mean honestly I mean look at sabastian. He's the most animated But I feel like uh, but you're animated in your own way. You know, I mean, yeah, you're not you're not jumping around But you know you're fun to watch. You know, I mean like it's like some comedians They could cut an album and you don't need to watch him You know and and it works. I don't know if my shit would work But it it adds to it to watch you. Do you know what I'm saying? I always like that about stand-up me too

You know what I mean? I'm an original room guy too. Yeah I know the nuts and bolts in that place like you I could still bomb in there. Yeah But it's really hard for me because I know all these cheap tricks in there To throw your voice in there. You can do a thousand things in that room. Yeah. Yeah, but if I need to go off That's the room That's the room that if I go off and have a heart attack and die. Yeah, I don't mind Like as they're dragging me out, I won't be yelling. I'm like at least I did my favorite spot. Yeah. Yeah

It's not like I was bombing and fucking uh, what's the other improv in Chicago? That's a more fast chamber. Yeah, the somberg. I've never played it before Really? That's four days that you're fucking really? Well, because it's in mill nowhere or what? It's in the middle of nowhere. So you have to like everybody who performs like i'm going to chicago I'll be in chicago at night. You're like, no, you're not You're in fucking somberg where fucking death goes to die. Jesus. Like that's where death goes to die Like that's how so like if you die if you're going on if like every time I went in that room Like I wasn't getting no love

Like you're fighting for every fucking lab. So you got to kick it up a little bit So if you die in there, right you're like, I hate you motherfuckers, right? But if you die at the story like this was great, I know it is it's weird how that is. Yeah It's weird how that is What like you just said it was like you're for that one of your favorite rooms in the country And we're talking about how different rooms affect you like what is it about a room that That makes it here's why I think the comedy store is My favorite room at least one of them

Because it I think it's the only room that I know That I've I've played that's built for the Comedian and every other room is built for the audience like you go to the laugh factory You walk in you're like, oh you watch as an audience member. You're like, oh here we go is show Every other place is like that but the comedy store. There's that light on you. You can't see the audience You might as well be fucking anywhere and and it's built for the comedian in that way Which makes it much harder because the audience isn't going to give it up if if you're not fucking real, you know Um, so that's why I love it and it also it has a sense of like

there's like this like I don't remember who said it but like there's a sense of this and this sounds pretentious, but there's a sense of like Danger there like like somebody's gonna throw something at you. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, there is You know what I'm you know what I'm saying like you walk into the comedy store as an as an audience member You can walk in in a good mood and walk into that room and and you're literally like Where's my seat? What's going on here? It changes your fucking mood. So it makes it harder And you got to be on the stage as a comedian and break somebody Of that, you know, now it's a little different because they got fucking tv

Everyone who goes on is like famous from netflix and famous from fucking hulu, whatever the fuck, you know It's a little different. They got you rogue and sebastian, you know, david spade me everybody's fucking on tv So it's like it's a little different now, but but but but um Back when you well before when you were there and then when you left Like when I when I went in I got onto the comedy store when you weren't there When what year did you uh, I probably started going there 2008 9 And you weren't there 208 2008 2009 and um, wow And uh, it was it was like

I mean Nobody was on tv that was doing that room and and and and and of course stand up became really hot You know after that, um, but then it was getting really, uh, it was getting hot and then and then we started getting like Good fucking comedians not that the guys weren't good, but we started getting guys that were recognizable But also like, you know, like like you guys came back you and rogan and and and and and then and then Jessel nick would come in and you know and and and just guys that we weren't getting because there was a weird vibe there

You know, which is probably the same reason why you fucking left and then it wasn't that vibe anymore And you know Ali Wong and just the people then Sebastian blew up and shit like that You know and then and then and then it became a then it felt like it became a brand Where it's like, you know Almost almost like where how deaf comedy jam is it's like. Oh, yeah, I'll watch that. It'll be funny You don't know who the fucking guys are back then But you're like, yeah, I'll watch it and then Chris Tucker exploded and shit, but it was deaf comedy jam

That was like it goes now people I think oh, I'll go to the comedy store don't even matter who's fucking playing You know, but it wasn't like that when you were gone. It wasn't like that at all. I mean, there were friday nights Where there were 30 people in the audience Yeah, I was there too. Yeah, it was no different. Yeah, these numbers now are a tremendous Yeah, when I the reason why I don't go to store a lot. Let me tell you why Chris now Yeah, I'll tell you why can't work out. I know I know I know you gotta go in between two murderers And you gotta bring your a shit. Yeah, I know I know So it kind of hurts that I have to I have to work hard on friday saturday Sunday because that's that's the people paying

They can see you right, but you want to the store. I know it was really there was a fucking charm to it Monday nights was 90 people Thursday there was 10 because it was a black friday tuesday So the white comics wouldn't even call in they're like, why would I go down there to get muscled? Right, you know, I'd always call him because I knew mitzi like coast to coast guys Mitzi don't like well, give me thursday early right friday at midnight mitzi With mitzi all she wants to see is sunday to sunday. Yeah, that's what she wanted to see So when you called in you had to take the tuesday lump. God damn it, right eight people had to leave the union

Which is filled with chicks. Somebody was giving out blow I got to run over to the store to do a 15 minute spot for eight fucking people But you needed the 15 dollars. Yeah, that was extra 15. So wednesday was 60 Thursday was 75 80 And then after midnight 18 so until two but that was I loved doing that man. I loved doing I loved doing that Shit, I would take those fucking 12 45 spots when I was coming up. They were the shit They were the shit. They were there was nothing like that man and now now you don't do those anymore You don't do those anymore. You certainly don't do them in that room anymore

But you know, you're not gonna play you're gonna put you you would I would you would but they're gonna give you the 10 30 spot You know what I mean? Let me tell you something 13 people. Yeah at one of the morning. Awesome When they've listened To every fucking joke in the world. They've already heard the condassians eight times They've already heard could pernicic Didn't get up. They already heard about the rams. They heard about the Hurricane elma. They heard about everything. You got to go up there one o'clock And whatever you were writing on that stupid piece of paper all been done seven times

You got to rip it up and just go up there. That's when you get Lee you get so fucking good. Is it well? Yeah, I honestly miss that and I think about that all the fucking time I just calling Adam and going I want 1 a.m. Yeah, but it's also it's also different now because like people know who you are and people know who I am So if you're gonna do that, it's still a little different. I mean you're you're never I I always say like you're never you it is true Though you're never better than fucking trying to make 11 people laugh, you know Like no matter how big you get like they're still not gonna laugh if it's not funny if there's 11 of them in a room But still it's a little different. I it was cool going

It was cool going knowing that those 11 people at 12 30 were thinking who the fuck is this guy And now You know, even if three of them know me from whatever you're not gonna get that anymore Do you know what I mean? But there's nothing like whipping 11 people up into a fucking frenzy. Jesus Christ. I love the best Sometimes it was four people four people and you're dying and you're dying And at that point you just take the chair sit on stage You're like fucking let me just sit and talk to you guys

I saw I saw so many for when I first started at the economy store I used to be kind of scared to go down there some nights because I never really knew what was gonna happen Like one night Dave Tyree through a bottle of joe Oh, Jesus another night. I was up on stage some girl walked up and said take your dick out And I go before I take my dick out you show me your pussy on stage and she goes, okay Oh Friday night 1245 original room

She pulled her pants down to her ankles Oh, she pans on people started clapping joey take your dick out How to take my nutsack out Bobby lee and rogan on the side throwing money at the stage because bobby was on mad tv Yeah, yeah, yeah, meanwhile, I told the chick you can't pull your pants down Right, you gotta leave him down until I put my dick out She's because she's sitting up on stage with her pussy out pierced With the piercing out like it was nothing talking about your dick or something. No, no nothing

I just walked up on stage. She was hammered. Yeah, she was with her boyfriend and he If you take out your dick Take out your dick. I'm like take out your pussy, bitch And she fucking ripped up that fucking pants and took them down And the and when I turned around on stage, you know the patio. They were all by the glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Like holy shit when I walked off that cat I walked off with like 80 bucks and I was happier than fuck I did better than if I would have done material. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They were fucking nuts I want I want every fucking night in the original room. There was this dude really favorita

That would bring a fart machine in And put under people's chairs in the original room They didn't wait for brian holstman to go And they would start pressing the fart machine and he would go fucking Crazy on stage you never knew what to fucking expect at the store. Yeah, and now you don't get that No, you don't yeah, it was even like that in 2008 a little bit But I mean, I'm sure it was even crazier back before that How much of it has to do with

Like I love fenway I don't I don't I don't want them to tear fenway down I'd still get to watch the red sox, but there's a feeling when you go into fenway Is there a feeling when you go into this? Yeah 100%? Yeah I worry that what what what will happen to that place in the next few years, but I mean now I feel like it's fine But like in 2010 we were all like I wonder what the fuck's gonna happen in this place because it was like a ghost time It's a ghost time. Yeah, it's really weird to see what happened 2007 Was even a fucking worse ghost town. Yeah, it was

I was there when pauli had a halloween party And he served liquor and the parking lot So the city closed the comedy store no booze For 60 days because he did that Oh, jesus christ no booze to december 28 Oh my god, that's like the good time too. So from yeah from fucking our november 10th To december 29th. Oh, it must have been brutal Sodas and you gotta go up on stage for fucking a two soda minimum. No food

No food back then so I mean that there was the audience must have been so light 15. Yeah. Oh fuck for fuck's sake. 15 and I people were running out drinking from a bottle in the hallway No booze for two fucking months Oh my god Nobody remembers that. No, I didn't even know that that happened. Yeah. Yeah. When was that 2007 or before that all this had to be 2001 yeah way before you had to be way before that because I was this one. The store was fucking dead Yeah, I heard that from I heard that that it was so dead in the early 2000s and I caught

I caught the tail end of the tupac days. Wow Tupac got into a shootout at the store. No The bullet still in and they threw Eddie griffin out for that when they banned any wait a minute. Hold on I never heard this. I'm a tupac my favorite. Yeah, what happened Tupac got into a shootout the store one night. How have I never heard Eddie griffin invited them to the fucking store While tupac is in there Three bullets went off from across the street and they blamed on Eddie griffin So the griffin got banned for bringing tupac in there. Are you shitting me? No true fucking story

Holy shit tupac used to go in there with Eddie griffin. Oh man. That's fucking how crazy is that? That's amazing, man I saw Mariah Carey in there one night with Eddie griffin. I saw Michael Welch in there. Oh, so I fucking I performed For two people one time late at night in the comedy store and one of them was dr. Dre It was dr. Dre and whoever he was with and I was like, I don't want to go up and they were like and I think it was Don Barrett. She's like, no, man. I know I don't want to go up, but you got to go up. You're a fucking comedian And I was like, you're right. I'll go up and I went up and I just had a conversation with dr. Dre And it was actually cool because then I talked about this on my podcast. I think but uh after uh, I got off stage he he was leaving and

there was Like it was like maybe and there were maybe like two other people in the audience. It was like There was nobody there and then they live and everyone's like, hey, Dre. Can I get a pick? Can I get a pick dr. Dre? And he was like no no no and he walked out and he took a few steps past me out the comedy store patio Past the patio and then I was like, fuck it. I'm gonna ask maybe like He'll appreciate that I was on stage or whatever and I was like, hey, Dre And he literally like a movie stopped and turned around and looked at me

And I said, is it cool if I get a pick and he fucking went all right, man And he walked back and took the pick with me It was a cool moment because it was like it was like in my head I don't know he probably think this but in my head it was like, all right Like I respect that like, you know, I'm a performer and he was up there went up for two people You know what I mean? Like it was a cool moment for me That he said no to everybody but then like came back for me Who else have you seen up to anybody else?

Just uh lately I saw Quentin Tarantino Mark Ruffalo was there recently with uh somebody else. I think he was there with Chris Rock, but um Yeah, no, it's just been uh dr. Dre was the was the wildest to me Uh, there was one night there now that it's popping, you know There was one night there that James Franco and like Leonardo DiCaprio was gonna be there and Elon Musk They were all there together or some shit. So fucking weird. It's so weird now that you can go to the comedy store And literally end your career with a bad set with all those fucking people in there now It's like sometimes some nights. It's a fucking star-studded event

I wasn't there when Tom Cruise came in really to pee That's hilarious when cold kid years ago. Yeah. Yeah in the end a sunday night 13 people in the audience come on stage And I see them walking to the Thing in the original room and then he ran up the stairs and ran to the bathroom So when I came out of the thing I go and you were on stage or no I was on stage and I saw what I thought was really that's funny And I fucking got off And then I forgot about it and I went to the bathroom like 10 minutes later

And he popped out of this shit Wow, I forgot about it and he said something to me Like he recognized I was on stage. Yeah. Yeah. I said something back to him. That was it. Oh, wow And him that's fucking cool. I saw Bon Jovi in there one because his brother used to be the manager Who when I first started the comedy store brought Matt Bon Jovi was the manager there. Really? Yeah, he's running a strip club now in Atlanta. Oh my god I didn't know that so Matt Bon Jovi was the manager at the store So fucking John Matt Bon Jovi. That's how fucking crazy is that and he came in one night with that chick

The one that Brad Pitt dumped For fucking oh aniston aniston before Oh, uh, uh paltrow paltrow. He came in with granted paltrow. They were doing the movies. Oh, wow, whatever the fuck They came in. Oh, so I see in there. I saw some crazy fucking people chris cornell Uh-huh. Oh 1998 sitting in the corner with a hat on not saying a fucking word Who was the guy from the chili peppers used to yeah always go always the singer always always always At the kids

It's fucking weird the people you see up there. Oh, oh, oh one time I got off stage and this dude with a cast on is like Bro, you're fucking hilarious. Are you fucking? I'm like this fucking asshole. I'm like, thanks, man. And I look and it's shy la buff I'm like, oh shit. I'm like, what's up, bro? Thanks My attitude changed such a fucking fake hollywood moment, but I'm like get this fucking guy out here. Oh, you're in transformers. What's up? I'm surprised to hear you guys because you've been hitting in LA for a while. I don't think you get star struck anymore But is it like exciting to perform for these people sometimes sometimes I mean Like I said when you go on stage It usually morphs into just another show look because you're that's what you do

but like yeah, sometimes like I remember when dr. Well dr. Ray was just like four people in a room, but like Uh quintantino when he was there. I was like, I want to do well because he's in there You know what I mean Or like if or even if like if it's a comedian that like like if chris rock is in a room You're like, I don't want them to think I suck Do you know what I mean? Right? Yeah, I can understand the comedian definitely But I don't know. Uh, oh, you know what I had a meeting once, uh

This was this is so weird what fucking happens in hollywood like I had my agent called me This was years ago and they were like, hey you uh So frances ford coppola is doing a new project Uh, they don't know what it is yet. It's it's like a really long script. They might do a mini series. They might do this and that The they're interested in italian americans and they they the um Francis ford coppola's guy wants to meet you and kind of like see what you're all about So I went in and I met with this guy fred somebody he like produces a lot of his movies

So I met with this guy we were talking about stuff. We just had a conversation no reading no nothing And he was like, okay cool. Bye Then I get a call. Okay. So frances ford coppola wants to come see you perform And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Okay, this is the weirdest thing ever. I'm like, all right. Okay. Let's okay Like I believe I can say no like now I'm so yeah, I'm nervous now because frances ford coppola directed grace movie all time, right? so He shows up

And ever the whole comedy source like frances ford coppola is here to see you I'm like, I guess so. I don't know what the fuck's happening, right? So he comes and sees me do stand up And I get off stage and he leaves he gets off. He came to see me weirdest fucking thing So I'm like, what should I do? I remember my brother was there and he was like, you should go say hi or something So I was like, okay, I'll go up and I'll I'll say hi. So I walked up and I was like, hey, uh, appreciate you coming Thanks a lot. And he was like, oh, of course great job or whatever he said, you know Uh, and then and then I did it and then and then I got a call to do like a table read with frances ford coppola

And I show up and like I don't know who's gonna be in here It was in a room as big as this. Okay. The table was almost as big as the room Does the chairs were like, I mean, we had like this much room. It was it was Uma thurman, joe montaña, uh, leave schreiber God, uh, jason gordon levit. What's that guy's name? Uh, gordon jason gordon, you know home talking about It's gordon levit. It's sometimes And joseph joseph gordon levit and then philip seamer hoffman like

two months before he died And and fucking me And I don't know what's going on. Nothing happened with it. It was it was a 400 page script that we read it took eight hours And i'm sitting there with all of these stars And I'm like, this is amazing. But by hour five, I was like, what the fuck is happening? Like this is the it was so and and every but and and And I was playing like all the ancillary parts like that were like all the parts that were like Yeah, I'm i'm each over there. There's some shit or like pizza, you know, basically these parts and uh

It was so wild man. It was it was all day There was a break in the in the middle of it. It was like a break where like we were like reading pizza and drinking a coke and It was just it was crazy and then friends for a couple of signed bottles of wine and gave them to us Give it to my dad. Did you uh get the part? No, because it never became anything. It was just like one of these things that like all these Hollywood elite and fucking me It was a weird it almost was like I dreamt it like why the fuck I have I still to this day have no idea why I have How I got involved. Have you ever walked out of a room and said what the fuck just happened?

Like in like in a hollywood way. Um, I mean that was one of those but it was What about going to the store? Uh-huh get ham until two doing drugs smoking pot You ever call back at 10 in the morning the next day on sunset in western for a fucking Stupid travolta movie you get there and it's travolta and Who directed fucking drugstore cowboy? Uh

He's still yeah relevant. He does something every couple fucking years It is Gus Vansant. Oh, yeah, Gus Vansant. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah They're in the room at 10. Oh five in the morning. You didn't know not a fucking clue your age is probably just like yeah The producers the other guy who's reading is billy guard out Oh, yeah, so billy and me were fighting for the fucking same role They didn't decide to give us both the role Just to be two stand-up comics for travolta's. Uh, oh really singer. What movie was it? This is called The jimmy roselli story. Huh three months of casting

contracts Signed after the holidays And the call january 3rd That said travolta. It's not happening. Not happening is doing the zine Scientology movie. Oh battlefield earth battlefield earth That's why we didn't do jimmy roselli Wow, but it's shit one another time. I had to be going to be cool same thing. Yeah, you were in that, right? No I lost it the guy died who they gave my role to That that guy was great though. He was a great guy. I forget

He was I did a chaspom and terry movie and he was in that movie and shed Like it was like a big trailer that they like just I only had like one line He said just sit with him He made me feel like I was fucking bread. That's cool. I had one fucking line I threw a guy off the pier and he was in there and he was on uh A show on cbs for a long time great character actor. I go down to fucking be cool. I walk in and there's The little guy. It's always sunny in philadelphia

With fucking travolta again DeVito de Vito, I hate doing this shit And you didn't know again. No, I'll fucking call you to tell you. I know I know that's hilarious I was telling all of you and I remember reading for the sopranos producers Then you know, like it was just I would be I was here 97. So it's 2001 and I'm in the room and this is all you could hear Yeah from my handshake. Yeah from the fucking script those two times With script shakers also Wow, I ain't when they call you with that fucking and you get there there's somebody completely different

Yeah, and the fucking eight people and you're like what when I gotta call them then they go, hey man Are you available to do a table read tomorrow? Sure. Okay. We'll call you back later. They call back again. Are you available tomorrow? Yeah We'll pick you up at one pick me up and then like oh by the way We're gonna do the table read and then you're flying to fucking the Santa Fe to shoot the movie Right from the table. Are you serious? So I packed my bags again. I don't know dick Yeah, I had $35 to go to Santa Fe and three cigarettes and two joints. They picked me up in hollywood A car picks me up. I tipped a guy the 20 so down to like $15 I walk in the fucking room and the first person I see is that chick

The old lady who's real getting real famous now for being she showed her tits to great garcia I mean he was saying that she's in raising hope Oh, the older lady the older lady. She's in there. I'm looking at michael ervin When I did the longest yard, they told me was snoop dog They go the movie's got snoop dog in it. That's all we know so far. Adam sandlin chris rock When I got there there was no snoop dog. It was michael ervin nellie I'm looking at the fucking Bert Reynolds I'm looking at the guy from warriors in 48 hours. What a trip. I'm looking at all these people going. Oh my god

Chloris leachman chloris leachman I go one thing i'm gonna find out i'm a bus stop and ask me to leave. Yeah, that's how I feel I got $15 in my pocket. I'm sitting next to michael ervin and burt reynolds. I'm sitting across from romanoski I got all these fucking people around me. This guy over here This the the the fucking camera guy The australian guy was telling me earlier mel Gibson jokes Wow, he was the guy that did the

The key was the camera guy on the road warrior. Yeah, and the first two whatever the other one. Yeah Mad backs in the road warrior. So this guy came up to me. We're talking like we're australian. Wow talking And i'm sitting in this room going. What is the fucking roof? Gonna fall on my head. Yeah Like that's how you feel no situations. Yeah, especially they come to you and tell you to do a good job Yeah, yeah, it's tough when the actors come up to you go, bro. That was a good job You still feel like that's gonna happen. You still feel like the roof's coming down all the time when i'm in a room like that I always get the roof so the fucking come down. Do you think like tom cruise still feels like that wonder does tom cruise

Walk in now and he owns it After 20 years, I hope there I hope so. I hope there is that I hope there's that For him. Do you know what I mean? Like I had at some point like I hope everybody gets some sort of Butterflies well, I think everyone does but I would hope that you calm down or I don't know. Maybe it's good. Maybe it's good to get butterflies, but it would be it would be nice to be Marlon Brando and I always get butterflies to calm me. So you do

No matter who's up in front of me really? To the point I have to bring an anxiety pill and put it in my fucking pocket. Wow When I walk those stairs. Yeah, there's little three stairs. Yeah It's like it's so weird because you're so confident on stage, you know, I mean like that's so odd that it's like that I mean I get that way every now and then every now and then like the butterflies of anxiety I don't know what about yeah a little I feel like I get both I'm short-breathed when I get up to yeah when I first get to the original Doesn't matter who's on stage. Hmm. Really?

No matter what I wrote no matter what I think as soon as I get to the original When I sit in that little fucking section midst these chairs My heart starts pounding My breath goes out from under me. I can't catch my breath. What that actually went to fucking the piano player And I go dog tell pauli My anxiety is too bad. I gotta get on stage And he told pauli and pauli comes back. He's like, what's the matter, bro? I go pauli. She's got the fucking light Do me a favor and go up there for me. Let me figure this out. Huh. I couldn't even breathe. I had like a white towel on my head

What what is it you you fear you really so On if someone's crushing I get that way like like you last night when I followed you I was like then I got I was like I got a fucking alright. I don't want to be a piece of shit. No, but you had such a good time I see it was funny face you were laughing so I go easy. It was fine time Yeah, I had a good I had a good set but but you know if somebody's crushing Which you know 9 out of 10 down there. Yeah, especially the lineups now. I know I know Whether it's following you or alley or fucking bill burr or fucking sebastian. It's like you just you got

So yeah, so now I get it more often than I used to but not if it's if they're not crushing if they're having a fine set I'm like I I'm good. No, I'm I'm dying back to even that whether you if you're bombing and getting booed I'm still I'm more scared than you are like I'm back there going to my son Chris, you know say like I'm worried about you plus I'm getting anxiety So now even last night the start went up and alley one was doing great I clocked a lot the first minute that I was up there My heart was pounding. Yeah, that's fine. My stomach was growling. I did that too last night, but also um

I don't I often don't watch the guy before me because I don't I just I I gotta be in the hallway I don't want to I don't want to have to watch it and then think things and then go up with a fucking mood I should just be you know Um Tommy told me the the old manager of the comedy store would would tell me like you should Have been conversations with people before you go on stage and I was like dude I think he's right because like I wasn't thinking I'd be just talking to be like, okay I'll go on stage now and just bring that energy. Um, yeah

I don't think you're fired up. I like people to fire me up a little bit You won't you really want me to do well do something that aggravates the fuck out of me Like don't if you like let's pray for Joey the bomb Don't aggravate me bring like ice cream and shit of a sandwich But like if you want like text me before I go on stage, I'll fucking go up there and blow that room apart Like do something to me. I don't like I'll never forget. You don't like in texts. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I don't like that. That's why I disconnected the thing Like I'm done and it's funny one night in san francisco. I was bombing and I saw rogan and red bear that matching phones

And I'm like these motherfucking faggots and I went on stage. I was so pissed at them for having matching phones Rogan's like what the fuck happened to you? I go you motherfuckers You got matching fucking phones. I can't get pissed off That's before like if I get pissed about something before I go on stage. That's it That's it. So I I like the talk thing Yeah, I like when somebody brings it out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like when somebody says something to you that gets you pissed off Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah like all that yeah that that that feels you to be funny Sure. Yeah, especially if you're that kind of you have that energy anyway to where it's like almost feels like you're arguing

Do you know what I mean when you're out there? Yes. Yes. So so that's that's good for you for sure I could see that I gotta tell you man. You just shocked me tonight because for a comic of 11 years You have great maturity and composure up. Thanks 10 years. I wasn't doing what you were doing not at all Not at all. Thanks, man. I didn't start doing that to like 17 18 years Like you had me fucking fooled. I thought you started when you were like 18. Yeah, just head Up and seen out there. Yeah Yeah, I'll put some greek restaurant host into some shit You have a great fucking composure. Thanks, man. Thank you. Where'd you get the name man on fire?

Is that your favorite movie like me? So yeah, no, I do love the movie but the the reason was because of I always had I've I've always had this like notion where at first I was a kid about um, how Like you could be so like sometimes you walk into a room and you're like, all right This is my fucking time to shine like whatever the fuck you're doing. You're walking to a cafe feel that way You're like, I'm gonna walk into this cafe and it's gonna be my I'm gonna be the guy in the cafe I'm the fucking guy who walks in this cafe and the cameras are on me. This is all in my head But I walk in I order a fucking sandwich and everybody knows I'm ordering a fucking sandwich and this is fucking

I'm gonna eat the sandwich and this movie's about me. That's just what my sometimes and then you realize Nobody gives a fuck They're all ordering their own shit and they're all fucking they old and so So I came up with this thing where I would be like you're not you're not fucking who the fuck I'm not densel washington. Like I'm fucking christly. I'm just some guy to somebody else I'm some guy and so um So my whole the whole idea of like you're not the man on fire You're just the fucking guy who's going to get a bagel or whatever the fuck

Was funny to me. And so I I thought what's the funniest movie to do that with and I thought densel It's gotta be a densel character because it made me laugh And then I was like, oh man on fire. It's great. And then one night on stage. I just said it I was like, you're not the fucking man on fire. And I was like, I think that's it I don't know. It just it was an idea that I like besides the fact that I I would make them I would try to make the material funny It was the idea behind that that I thought oh, it kind of means something to me So it made me it made me charged to do the material, you know, you're a fucking trip

What's next a lot coming for you, brother? I don't know. I'm doing I like we were talking about before this podcast I've been enjoying doing my own pocket. I mean, I'm on episode 35 or something But it's fun. It's fun to do my own podcast is called congratulations. So I've been doing that I have another tv show in development that I kind of shouldn't say too much about because I don't know what's happening with it yet But so I'm doing that and then just working on stand-up. I got tour dates and shit. Is that the youtube red? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So I think youtube red is gonna be a great fucking channel. Yeah, I do too, man

I walked in the meeting skeptical about like, I don't know about kids You know, I think youtube is like I just like I'll upload it myself You know what I mean? But then they were talking about all them all the motherfuckers that they're working with Like the guys that like have shows coming out on there like Doug Lyman and shit and like You're like, all right I think they're I think honestly, they're gonna be a force to be reckoned with I think so too. Yeah, I think so too Yeah, so I think it just makes sense. Yeah

And you tour how much a month? I mean, I like to do two weekends out of a month. That's yeah um, I got this movie in uh May and I had to reschedule a bunch of shit and every time I had to reschedule I was in Toronto for like five weeks So I had to reschedule like two or three dates and every time I do that I'm like whatever the club wants just I feel bad like let tell and they all picked fucking September So this month I'm like killing myself every weekend, but um

But yeah, I like to do like two to a month, you know And then I don't know I'm working on material. I figure I'll do another special at some point But like I I've done three. I don't want to do like Is I'm not trying to rush anything. You know what I mean? Three I've done one That's the only one you've done really yeah, everything else was just so when you go now you go Oh, yeah, yeah, so when you go now you do new shit. We do some of this stuff from the special No, I'm done. No, you're done. Yeah

Yeah, but that was the worst that was the worst period of my life after Ad after a special bitch. Yeah those first 90 days were brutal tough because you really want to kick that material Like I'm done with this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but you got nothing else. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and you go back to it You're like dammit. Yeah, so for three months you're wrestling with yourself I think I shot in October and I think I was a mess till February February started getting my bearings back and yeah. Yeah, but before that I was like this is Starting from well, it's weird because now when you drop something everybody fucking sees if they're fans yours They see it in the first three days. So now if they're coming to see you in fucking Austin

They're like, where's the new shit? You're like, ah, fuck it's three days after my special came out You know what I mean? I'm fucking crazy. I know it's fucking crazy They used to catch it on a Tuesday night at nine o'clock You know, maybe 10 people seen it in the fucking club, but now everybody's seen it And they're getting them out quickly too now like yours was out a couple months after you shot it six weeks. No, I know Six weeks. Wow six weeks. I shot October 19th. It came out December 6th. That's insane I was shocked. I thought mine was quick when they were like December 6th. I was like, what? Wow. Yeah, they started fucking editing that night. Yeah. Yeah, like as soon as they fucking

As soon as they just started that night So, yeah, I would assume like comedians used to have a lot longer to build the next Hour because you had to get edited and then Broadcast or in a movie theater and that can take up to a year sometimes. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I'm thinking next time to really write like an hour 45 right and then do yeah 250 yeah, I did that keep 30 and go at least I got something I did that after my second one. I had like so much other material or after my first one something like that But yeah, I had so much other material. I was like, I could just put this one on the second one

I think it was after the first one. Yeah, it was way at this weekend I'm doing colleges. I'm doing a Philly. I'll be in Philly and Dallas, but then I'm in Charlotte, North Carolina next weekend like in two weekends or something. Yeah. Yeah, I got finally. Yeah Good for you. Yeah. Yeah. How was the movie you did? Uh, it was good. It's actually called life in a year. I think it comes out at the beginning next year But it was a will Smith produced it. It was with Cara de Levine and jaden smith and cuba good and juniors in it and me It's cool movie. Do you like those movies? I mean that was a drama. So it's just cool. I like that Yeah, I love doing it. I just want to do like if people are like, don't you want to do comedies and you're like

I already do the best version of that. I do stand up. I do I do what I think is the funniest shit already What do I want to be in a fucking movie where there's seven guys and someone else wrote it and then they're like No, don't say it that way say it this way The fuck you talking about I do stand up. That's how come I do stand up like I do the bio Okay, cool. Let me shoot this and then tomorrow. Let me go play the fucking Theater and do exactly what I want to do. So it's like I only want to do stuff If it's like interesting to me and this movie was the character that I played was really interesting

And it's a drama and I'm like and and so people are like the movies about Cara de Levine is dying And so people were like, did you have fun on the movie? It's like it's not fun doing drama. That's not the right word But it's it's it's definitely It's you know, it's interesting and it makes you feel a certain way that like I'm happy I did it for sure But it's not like like, you know, you're doing scenes where like she's dying and you're crying and then you're like cut And then you're like, okay, let me go back to my trail and just chill for a little bit And so it's not like when you're shooting a comedy

It's just like everyone's fucking rambunctious and making fun of each other. But yeah, it was fun. I want to do drama That's what I want to do. I want to do a lot of dramas. I want to do action That's what I want to do the most is action Really? Fuck yeah Would you be like the comedic relief in the action? It doesn't matter just I want to have a gun. I want to run after somebody on a bus. That's what I want to fucking do I want to do that so fucking bad

You're ready for lethal weapon. Yeah, just remake any. Yeah, let me do it. I want to do it so bad. How many movies have you worked on? I don't know seven. What do you like more movies or tv? I mean tv's cool because it comes out quick You know, like when you're on a show it comes out every week and then movies I did a movie three and a half years ago. It still didn't come out yet We just got a distributor and it's a fun. You know, it was good movies. I've got a good cast You know, it's like what's happening with this shit? How is it doing tv live? That must have been fun. It was insane Yeah, it was so fun. It was I mean if you're gonna do a multi-camera sitcom. I think that's the way to do it

You know, it's just high octane. We shot it And it aired while we shot it. I mean, it's insane. The last season. I think the last season one day. Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah You would shoot it live and millions of people will be watching it was and they were like Don't say fuck because that nbc gets charged seven million dollars and you're like damn I could fuck this up. You know Yeah So I would I would say I can't bro. We get the script. We get the script

No bullshit. Sometimes we get the script that day The creator would be like, hey, sorry and I'd be like it's okay, but Like I remember looking at him Bill Lawrence the creator of the show and being like I'm gonna and thinking And saying this I'm out and saying I'm gonna I said I'm gonna try my best Like it's not like like imagine saying that to like Steven Spielberg in a movie. You'd be like, oh, you're fired But like you're like, oh, I got the script today. All I can do is do my best. That's why you could you'd have monologues and shit

He'd be and he and I and I said I'll try my best I remember saying I'll try my best and I remember him looking at me and saying Yeah, that's all I can ask for And then we shoot at fucking 6 p.m. Or whatever live on the east coast And and you're doing monologues and you're like, I think that's when you talk about like knowing the character You you wouldn't even memorize the lines. You just memorize the the intonation Yeah, and the idea of the line because you're like as long as I know what the scene's about Yeah, it was fucking crazy

So fun. You'd cut we do one scene in a bar cut to another you're in the next scene You have to run over change your jacket and be like, hey, what's up guys I'm been you know, I'm just Cooking food or whatever the fucking scene was it's so funny. It's so fun And and then the audience loved it when they could see you fuck up, of course You know, you still put on your jacket. There was one scene where the guy was still putting on his jacket You know, it's fun. It was always the last show to shoot that way Uh, uh, when you were shooting I know that had a drop history of you. Yeah, um, I think the last one that did it

Uh, and I don't think they didn't do it. Um They didn't do every episode, but I think the last show that did it was that show remember that show rock with charles s. Dutton Yes, they did I think they did one or two episodes like that right 30 rock did too, right? But but but that but that was not a multi-camera live sitcom with an audience Oh, but yeah, like er did it too, but that's you know our drama doesn't do that shit. Oh, yeah way back then Yeah, that's how they did it the honeymooners and shit. I think that's how they did it Yeah, because I heard a story one time that that was Ralph's main thing That the honeymooners would be on tv

And he would never have the last scene Or something crazy He would run to the bar as the credits were rolling and fuck with the bartender. Oh, got you So that was I wasn't sure if that was why that I wasn't sure before I said it That's why I wonder if they said well, you guys are gonna be in the elite history of tv shows I know ricky riccardo did it. He had three Because he started the three Kramer shoot Oh, really?

Yeah, if it wasn't for ricky was the one that said why is that only one white guy want a camera? Oh, really? Let's put two more white guys and get the party started. Why don't we if I can sit in there? So I know he had to be a three camera. I don't know what the honeymooners was I think the honeymooners was one camera. Maybe Chris man, I wanted to have you on here for a long time. I think you're a Interesting little motherfucker. Thanks, man. No, I appreciate you. I always wanted to do it Fuck and make me laugh my ass off. Yeah, well likewise. I went down there early last night

Because I I just saw the thing that chris delay. Let me go down there early. There's nothing I like more in the world Like nothing pisses me off more when I get really high going on there And I want to have her early in those back seats to take it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah my fucking blood pressure boils Do you understand me? Because nobody knows that I just want to go back there sit and if I can have a beard Yeah, and a hat and like a fucking really really 800 pound fat. I would just sit back there at night Because I I don't understand if people know how much fun it is Yeah, just to go back there some time. Like I love it. I love and I'm a comic

It's hard for me to watch specials and watch every fucking show you're on But there's nothing that makes my dick hard and like when they call me out of 10 45 and I go perv I'm gonna take the baby swimming. I'm gonna go eat dinner with them and I'm getting the fuck out of there I'm gonna sneak into the store with nobody seeing me. Yeah I used to sit all the way in the back. I used to not sit In mitzi's chairs in the backpack like in the thing. Yeah, I used to sit back there And have really pisses before you got there one time there was this chick called lamere lamere was mitzi's

hair Chick Jesus. So one day mitzi goes, you want to be a comic come to the store? So they passed her Lamere was 50 something when she became a regular But she was all patched up. Yeah head to toe plastic surgery. Jesus. It was all rubber Her face didn't even move anymore at the store And one night I really fucking stoned and I just went back there I'm sitting in the back

And she's on stage and she's when you get stoned. I become your act Like that's the difference when a comic gets high. Yeah, and I go to see the lia. Yeah If the lia intrigues me now, I become the lia and I'm on stage and I'm cheering for the lia and I'm cheering for her But she says this line she goes Come on people everybody thinks I do plastic surgery I swear to god I have never ever ever done a bit of plastic surgery and in my reefer

Yeah, though I go That's bullshit. Like just just without even I would never heckle another comic. That is the most But my mind Didn't even Who said that back there and me and tommy and a bunch of the comics Were fucking howling because I didn't even realize I'd say I just fucking but that's the reaction That's why because I was in there so deep like last night. I was watching alley

And I think I was run is easier and then they said he ain't coming. You're running late. Do you want me to go up? I don't run I'll fucking go up. I didn't think you were really sharp. I thought the whatever But that's one of my favorite things in the world. That to me is how I learned comedy I just sit back there. I watched three four comics and I abandoned ship sometimes. I don't even care if I go up Sometimes I'm happy. I didn't go up. I just went to learn That's cool. And I always pick up a little something that fucking night You were talking about that little fucking hole At the airport on the airplane. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was supposed to shoot air. Yeah

Oh, you didn't hear me because I'm not one of those assholes from san francisco comics So he's go, ha. Oh dude, that's that tries me fucking You will never hear me. You will never ever hear me. I'll tell you I'm going to leave you fucking killing me tonight And when I tell you that is because I was bent over and I was howling. You're never gonna hear me with that gorilla laugh I would never embarrass you But that night when you were talking about the fucking hole Because one day I got really high on one of those edibles And I'm sitting there looking at that hole for like an hour and that very next day

I go to the store and you're going off on the hole and I'm back there. Why? This is what I mean. It's just it like when people say well, I went to see a movie and there was an escape Let me tell you something dawg. I'm 54. I've never escaped in the movie. There's been like three or four Yeah, I hear you man. I've escaped that but with stand-up comedy I love when the comic takes me for a ride and I'm gonna be honest with you Lately you're one of the few guys that takes me for a ride. Thanks. That's why I joined the podcast, right? That means a lot coming from you. No, man. You inspire me like when I saw you at the laugh factor I went home. Then I said well

I watched because I wasn't going to go back to the store. They called me that friday Adam had called me and I had a spot the laugh factor. I saw you I'm like, I don't know if I can handle it. I should follow and believe And then I watched that movie being there. Yeah, I love it. That's one of my all-time favorites. Yeah And I said, maybe it's a sign from God. Maybe I should go back to the store Well, I'm fucking so glad you came back to the company. So you're a fucking great guy. You're a gentleman. Thanks, man Having you there though. You're fucking me. I love this comedy store already. Having you there It's fucking awesome, man. It's fucking cool. I love when you're down there, man

So thank you. Thank you for taking the time to come on. Thank you, man I meant the world to me. I'm just gonna give some shout outs. Reblue april and get you the fuck out of here Pass it over to uncle Joey there. Thank you, brother First of all, my girl Cleo the one by one podcast The cobra cats podcast you're fucking doing great. They were voted the best of austin Oh, very nice Lauren Rosenkirk, greg and lin up in seattle randy bowman Dr. Rocks quadrex and gaffa. I love you cocksuckers

Don't forget. I'm at the penceburg improv next weekend The 28th of october 1st. Where you at next weekend, bubba? Uh charlotte in two weeks charlotte. That's a good fucking club Yeah, the comedy zone is awesome. Yeah, I love that place. Let me talk to you people real quick about blue apron I'll get you the hell out of here. Like I said at the beginning of the show It's the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country Their mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everybody. Okay For less than 10 dollars per meal blue apron will deliver seasonal recipes along with proportioned ingredients To make delicious home cooked meals

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Blue apron a better way to cook and don't forget on it.com for all your supplements, whether you got shroom tech Or fucking uh, hem force protein or strong bone that air for you Go to on it.com right now and press church. Bam and get 10% off bitches Deliver right the house. I want to thank christalie again Thank you. I want to thank my little brother lisa. Yeah, and I want to thank you fucking savages for listening And for being family Like I said, I'll see you next week at the pittsburgh improv. Also. Thank you very much with donations

For my niece. She's up to 17 grand You guys I can't ever repay you. So thank you very much I'll be in philly next weekend visiting her at the hospital. So Thank you for brightening up her spirits and whatnot. She even called me the other day and said fucking the flying jude donated I said lisa bad motherfucker. Thank you for listening. I want to thank my brother christalia christ Where can they find your dates at christalia.com? That's fucking easy. Yep. Love you motherfuckers. Have a great weekend Stay black. What do we decide on? The oj's. Oh, shit. Happy rasha shana to all the jews in the struggle

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