Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #520 - Felipe Esparza

Episode Date: September 27, 2017

Felipe Esparza, comedian, co-host of the "What's Up Fool?" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.   Check out Felipe's new HBO special, "Translate This" on September 30th at 10pm. �� This podcast is brought to you by:   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 09/25/2017.


I thought about to pull the cord This podcast is brought to you by on it.com go to on it for all your supplement needs Whether it's shroom tech shroom tech sports room tech immune and force protein Alpha brain listen when it comes to supplements on it is number one Go to honor calm right now and press in church bam and get 10% off Delivered right to your fucking front door right no questions as kick that fucking muley Oh Shit, this is with North Korea's listen to right now. Oh shit. It's the church of what's happening now motherfuckers

Uncle Joey the Christ killer my main motherfucker Felipe sparser. What's up fool? Hey, hey American dream. Hi those spoons. Here we go. Oh Shit Oh No, they can't play on my court Are you kidding me or what? A little too short for you Oh

Ain't nothing Too much too fucking much thank god martin luther king march, you know what i'm saying? Thank god he marched Fucking if he didn't march too short nobody would have known who his mother fucking jackal ever What's up there? Felipe sparser. Give me some jackal ever. Oh, you know, you could do it I'm the fucking stage that counts lisa. I was cracking. I'm just i'm just i'm i'm disappointed for oakland They finally got an amazing team and they got like a Less than a two-year like clock on it. You know, they're going to vegas like the raiders are kicking ass right now I know man. Yes, no they lost but um, yeah, they're gonna be there for two years while they build a stadium in las vegas

That's like, um breaking out with your wife or your girlfriend But she gets to live in your house, too Yeah, but and but and the weird thing is that like I would expect that no one would go they'd be like fuck the raiders They're leaving we're loyal, bro. It was packed like it was two weeks ago now when March on lynch was down like they have a dj in oakland stadium in the in the stadium That's cable's cousin chino. No, it's not. That's what I got Yeah, man, they gave her glasses cousin is chino the dj from the raiders And he thought dj in the morning. He's a he's a big fan of um of everybody

But they made each other at Tucson, Arizona. He goes. Hey, man. We look you if your father's such a touch Yeah, my father's such a touch and then they made they clashed. They made each other as cousins Small world, man They're both both other father players But yeah, I was just impressed with with like the oakland fans because like all the way here right now in la is That the chargers are empty the rams are half empty Really the stadiums are apparently apparently the chargers are pretty like almost it's like a home team That's what I heard for like the await the away team. It's almost like a home game

Yeah, man The other thing the charge is gonna sell out a game to a new year's eve when they play the raiders there That's gonna be a raider nation game. I already bought my tickets new year's eve new year's eve, man Oh raiders oakland raiders visit los angeles for the first time since they left in 1990 something So wait a second. So the game is on a sunday on a sunday on new year's eve Jesus christ 11 in the morning 11 in the morning one of the morning one morning one o'clock game Yeah, yeah 10 no 10 10 o'clock game. They got to get that shit over with her

Because it'll be an amazing game man. Yeah, that's a good game Just going on new year's eve. You know how crazy it gets joy. Remember that show we did up north and there was the that was the day that um that um Tom Brady did the snuff the the snuff rule. I guess. Oh, no the tuck rule the tuck rule. Yeah, that's like Mike That's like a new englander's greatest day and enjoy the other night We were Rodrigo doing a fucking crazy show in Modesto and everybody was pissed off man Every black guy was pissed off and we were being driven a buzz by black guys

And that's the day you took that that powder, but it was actually meth. Yeah. Yeah, it was meth I was like in middle school watching a patriots playoff game in the snow and you were doing meth Oh my god Do you understand that show was crazy, bro? Everybody wanted to go backstage and party That whole area Once you go to Modesto, they're like those little towns there love there like family man There's nothing to do but do comedy and then get fucked up get fucked up man fucked up Like they have no shame. You know, they'll tell you I live it man. Don't go out looking for it. We got it right here

Whatever you need everything you want hookers. We got it. You want a dog my fuck my brother wants a pet store And you go for a drive and there's nothing really in those towns nothing nothing by saying that nothing one fucking club And you do not want to go in there because you'll get stabbed to death So you go to a hotel they give you whatever fucking drugs you want And it's just that simple. I mean, it's uh, it's a fucking shame. I go pass out You know, these grams of coke I started no pass out Like I can't fucking believe I'm alive From all that because I used to walk to that bar. There was a bar you went on Wednesdays

So, yeah, the little irish bar something there was a little bar where the whole wait staff went Yes, the whole place was if there was 250 people in there the whole place was high on cocaine The whole place the whole fucking place Lee You've never seen anything like that that you walk into the fucking room of death Were there bars just built for people to do cocaine in bro? Wherever there's a bar with darts. There's cocaine I don't know cocaine and darts go together. I didn't drive me crazy when I'm snorting coke when somebody's throwing darts I know man. I always think one of those darts is gonna backfire

I get pissed. I had a my brother the guy I'm going to see his daughter that has the cancer on wednesday He's a dark guy So I get a gram of coke with him and next thing I'm fucking shooting darts. I don't want to play fucking darts So what am I fucking the man? I don't know that should be a shirt man But man, we go together like darts and coke and the bathroom is always you got to walk faster darts Yes, so every time you pee you get anxiety because you got to stop the game and walk faster darts God forbid you don't have your hunting camouflage fucking suit on And one of those coke heads throws a fucking dart at you. You know, it was a fucking nightmare

It was a fucking nightmare. That's always darts or that stupid rifle game duck hunts What it is then they have the the best is the dart league Oh my god, you get together on tuesday and throw darts basically It's an excuse to get fucking the lit lit on a tuesday. That's all dart league is By the time you get there, you can see the target by the time you leave. There ain't no fucking target. Okay. It's a it's Yeah, man, humorous. I'm not putting darts down or anything like that. No, man. Darts is cool, man I'm just saying darts and drugs That's a great point you made philly because I grew up in two bars and then that they snorted coke and by the way

They would break the fucking darts out My anxiety level will go up to a fucking thousand. It seems dangerous. It's this fucking dangerous If you're coked out man and doing darts is perfect man because your nose already pointing down So your eyeballs are looking straight ahead. You're ready man. You could do a bump and do a dart. It is fucking crazily fucking darts I think I picked them up by three times Pittsburgh, man. It's some guys some guys you gotta talk to to get coke You gotta talk to them Unless you're in Pittsburgh, bro, it's fucking candlestick bowling and coke Oh, I miss candle bowling and bowling and fucking getting fucked. There was another thing too, man

I remember I used to go to houston. I used to go to a place on uh saturday nights at midnight That you went bold and we get coked up and he popped mushrooms and shit man, and they played heavy metal music and I miss all that shit that I do man. I do not man. It's gonna i'm coming up on 10 years Next month really bad. You you're past 10 years. Yes. I stopped doing um cocaine in 2009 Yeah, because I went on a five day binge Really? So you went even two years after me. Yeah, two years after me after you also going a little crazy in 2008 2009 man

Wow, when did you meet lisa? I met lisa in 2006, but when I met her I was already off You know, though that one time I picked you up all crazy, you know, and I gave you like 200 dollars to hang out with me for an hour And you told I even hear my his 50 take him out of here I don't know if we got the one night you came to my house And it was the weirdest thing Lee. We didn't even know what we're doing, huh? No Felipe calls me. I go. Yeah, what's up, dawg? I'm down side. Okay We're getting a fucking car. This is i'm I'm heavy-duty junky guys and here's your witness. Okay

He goes, where do you want to go? I go, let's take a ride I think we smoked a joint we're behind el compadre I walked in I took a gram off the guy I got in the car now you had money you wanted to give me the bike coach, but you knew I wouldn't get your coach You had 60 bucks ready, right and I got in the car in front of Felipe And you put a whole straw and then you did it all and I did the whole gram Fucking I looked at him like a guy I believe it guys. Oh my god. I got dry on the tour on the drive from el compadre to highland and

Fountain I would always it was instinct. That was where I would do at that light I would snort whatever was in the bag half of it And then when I pull up to my house Whether the front or the back I would snort the other half of what was in that bag So when I got on the elevator, I went right upstairs and took a shit There was no questions asked when I walked in the house

It was to go right to the bathroom and unload the first cocaine shit of the night and no cup ever saw you do a half I'm a professional we no cop is gonna fucking see that I could never do that. I could never like be like you, you know, you're you've been doing it for a long time At that time I was ready to quit. Oh, yeah, it was just a mat. I was just either wait I would wait to start or to fucking I didn't know what to do and that's what I was doing I was buying that and guys at the end I was buying a gram of coke that would kill a mule from el compadre Yes

And I would do two fucking lines and the whole gram was gone and I would stay high for an hour and 15 minutes And then I would sit in my living room for an hour thinking of my next move And then I would figure out the move and go out and get another gram at 1 a.m You really does that you does that you do You were like the first person I ever see do a whole bag like the 20 bag. Yeah, and then go eat a burrito Like I was me I was like I couldn't eat after I do coke because I want to stay high You know, I want I wanted to do at that point Felipe my

And this is a scary thing to tell you guys because you're not going to believe it my tolerance For marijuana was the same kind of tolerance. I had for cocaine at the end soon to do more I could do I could open up a party with a gram. That's how I opened up tonight With my own grand how much would Felipe open up with a half a gram Not even Felipe was a gentleman Felipe would do two or three lines Or two or three bumps and he was fine. I was a guerrilla Lee. Yeah, nothing has changed from the THC I just transferred addictions, but at least I know this going in I've always had a high tolerance

If at 16 17 I was already doing a half gram a night When I was 16 17 I would buy a half gram go to my friend's house There was 16 or 17 we'd do two bumps and who do you who do you think finished the rest of that coke at night me? I'd go home put in fucking black Sabbath on an a-track With the speakers on and I just sit there all night. Listen to fucking music Like an asshole and cry think about my mother and cry and shit like that So I started at 17 with a half a gram already By the time I went to prison in 86

Before a year before I got locked up before I kidnapped that poor kid You should have seen when I was doing You should have seen when I was doing I was probably doing seven g's a day One of the one in the morning to wait. This is when I was doing it I couldn't function on it, but I could still do it in the morning. Eat breakfast and live my life That phase was like for six months where I would get up and do a half gram of coke Eat breakfast give my ex-wife a stabbing Eat a pussy the whole fucking thing and eat in the morning and then by the time I got in the car. I was fine

Me I'm more like I was more like a degenerate man. I'm a banger I would like party like start smoking crack, you know when I started smoking crack, you know, like in 2004 2005 And I was more cracked like I started on Wednesday after the wild coyotes because I had cash And I would continue to do it till I got tired like to a Sunday I was still for five days. Like I didn't want to stop bro. I didn't know what I was doing my body Like I was like man, I used to laugh at him at our mom What's the name Bonaducci when he had that Bonaducci show That's right

And he fucking bought that bottle of cranberry juice and I bought a vodka and started drinking it right there in the middle of Street I was like far. Okay. What a loser, but then like a week later. I was doing the same thing Like I was I was like not I just like to just continue. I don't know. I don't know how to stop I just continue to go five days. No sleep to a brooklyn man Well, I was a banger for all the bangers. Yeah, but once I got here I bends in the beginning. There was a couple places you could listen to binge coke You got to be able to go someplace. Yeah, you got to be able to go someplace. You can't do it at home

What are you gonna do? I'm gonna go home with you and talk about what comedy through eight in the morning Oh, well this guy's joke. Well, let's put on the now write a script No, and then we talk about how we got into comedy and how our father be this. I don't want to hear that shit So you have to go somewhere where there's 20 people in the room But then it gets creepy That's a different type of creep. I couldn't handle that no more. I could handle it 20 years ago But in 2000 that was it by the time 2000 came it was me either a chick

Or me by myself And that chick knew she was coming to the room to do one thing like there was no misunderstandings You're not coming back to the room to watch tv Or listen to music. You got to break up the monotony. We got to do something bad. It was terrible It was a terrible existence, you know, but just to think that in 2009 you quick coke And in 2017 You're the american dream dog. Yeah, man. You got a special on hbo you know us

2000 comics what's when they got into comedy What did they write on the top of that page? And it was an hbo special even mitch headberg. He wanted a special when you saw Richard Pryor in those days not really Richard Pryor But when you saw the Rodney danger field specials and the young comedians the young comedian, man, they were all hbo So that sunk something In your to every kid, you know, which makes

2009 that much more special for you like that's people have no idea how much changes When and you're you're talking to two fucking guys that were junkies I mean listen to us what we're talking about envelopes and fucking a gram Right in front of each other hermaphrodites hermaphrodites one of the funniest things ever was that night in Modesto, yeah, because

While they came in guys if i'm telling you this any other way I was so ashamed of myself But there was nothing I could do it was done. I was older than these comics You know, we all went out together, but and you run into a crazy friend from houston elected party I was like they were trying to avoid I was trying to like those days and they were asking me to enjoy you got some It was fucking crazy the devil would ever work and I go to modesto And everybody up there is fucking high on something. Oh, yeah at the time that night everybody was high on something at that show And there's 15 people running around backstage drinking. They had grabbing cups

They had us in a little room with booze And a green room for all his friends and all his friends and shit And we got paid cash We knew what to leave right away and then uh one of the kids came up to me and i'm bugging him Come on get me a package. Give me a package. Give me a package. I get on stage the show ends. I gotta get a package But his friend had something he could sell me And I go what is it? He goes it's a speed, you know like all right. I'm what you want. There you go It's give me the fucking thing

At least I got something that was the way I was thinking in those days lee I wasn't going to go back to the hotel room with nothing because I knew eventually I was going to get up and start walking the fucking streets Oh, take a cab to a bad neighborhood and make a bad mistake. Oh man. I was at that level then that I already had Once you told me you could get it and it opened up that thing in my mind It wasn't going to close till I snorted something If you told me in the beginning of the night, I can't get it Then I went home thinking I couldn't get it

But once you told me it's going to be here at 8 30 and when I get off stage it ain't there I'm fucked because I already opened up that valve of thought Is any part of you worried and went in like a new city with a new dealer? Like if you if you know the guy and you trust him, that's one thing but My brain would be like, oh, this is going to kill me. Listen, man people Because of television and media and different things you identify this dealer With this fucking dark character with a hat with a feather in the shadows with a leather jacket And he shows up with a gun

These people are people who work at the theater. Oh, yeah, man They work at the theater But everybody's got a cousin and they know somebody like in in hollywood. They used to be a guy There's another comedian hooked me up with And this guy used to show up with a tackle box A tackle box full of drugs He had viagra. He had xanx. He had coke. He had weed And I like part of it. I guess what would be the person but I meant more along the line like a trust line

Like what do you think they have in there or nothing? Like if the thing is like if the thing is tainted or laced with something or no, man You're dealing with this honor amongst thieves. I bet it's when you're gonna But like Joe Diaz said man sometimes man, you gotta just forget about all that You gotta go for a long walk and find it. That's when you get in trouble But also sometimes you're a good dealer Right But man trust the people you're getting it from I did that in Montreal man at the Montreal comedy festival

I was like, I wanted to do a small crack. I got fucked up It was a young comedian show man And I and you know something you just when you're a drug addict, man, you could find cocaine in the moon Somewhere man, that's the best I could go to any city lee and by the second night have a package Because I could go on stage and talk about it And I listen to the laughter And I listen to the percentage of the room that's laughing and I can figure it out that one of these motherfuckers that's laughing

Because only a certain person would get the joke that i'm looking out a window I can make a cocaine joke about colombians and narcos and a guy like you will laugh But when I talk about I worked the people last night because I did a couple lines of coke The people laugh know exactly what i'm talking about when I said I watched I looked out a window the whole fucking night People do coke understand because you don't know what life is So you get up every seven seconds lee to look out your people In front of your girlfriend your girlfriend will finally go lee Why are you looking at the people? Nothing? I just hear something out there

You don't know what paranoia is That's paranoia. Hell yeah, you're sitting there watching the fucking new england patreon game at 10 in the morning you put 10 or 15 bumps in here or you bump up for the night before And next thing you know you start looking at shadows under the fucking door lee you see them The speed makes your mind see Somebody's feet come up to the door there and listen and they walk away So in your mind that somebody's coming up to the door They put the ear on the door and then they run away. They run around the block. They get refueled

They do it all over again And you're gonna catch on one of these times paranoia and sleep has been there five days straight man doing crack on a six day You're already seeing things bro. You haven't long coverations time. We don't even know what time it is Time goes by fast. There's a movie the temptations Um, they always put it on vh1 david ruffin and that scene with david ruffin When he goes up to the he's doing coke or crack and then And he goes up to the deal and he goes man, come on. Give me another fucking fix the guy goes you already out of fixes He goes, how about two tickets for the temptations? He goes these temptations

He goes didn't two tickets for the temptations the guy grabs him looks and he goes These are tickets for yesterday Then he gives him his fucking car That's Damn, I miss another show you imagine that we fuck man And you imagine getting together with a girl on a sunday night And you don't make it the podcast on monday Like you just don't make it you just don't get home till tuesday morning. Is my phone ringing nothing your phone is dead

You're at the holiday in down the corner You got there sunday night with some broad you called your girl and told her you were joey At the podcast studio that you might be there all night She calls you at six before she goes to work you pick up the phone and go on to the balcony Until you fell asleep in the couch That you got really high and you don't feel good and you go back to bed. You'll be home a little while She goes to work. You give that chick another stab and you look around the room There's still a little coke rock left and there's still six beers left. Shit

You're gonna start doing that coke again. That chick's naked on the table You're gonna wake her up eat her pussy and start all over again Next thing you know, it's 11 o'clock in that corner. You're gonna stay in your room again. Mr. Lee for another day. Oh my god Well ain't nobody gonna know You have no idea Lee you have no idea you don't care about your job Your employers your families what commitments you had It really doesn't matter when you're on a fucking tap I know man. I you should check that a long time ago. You have a plane to take off

You're there next to a day. You don't give up pounding more bills to yourself It is something that Oh, not anymore. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm not anymore. It doesn't bother me as I like it did four or five years ago It was still bothering me because I'd still get vivid memories of That weekend in Beaumont when I went to the fucking neo-nazis and bought coke Do you know what that's like? That day the Slade's brother Took me to the other side of Beaumont

And they had swatch stickers on the wall and shit And I go, are you fucking kidding me? But let me tell you something Felipe, you know me It was one of the top 10 cocaine's I ever bought on the road in 30 years. That's how good that nazi coke was It was yellow as fuck That nazi coke at four in the morning that shit took me to a different fucking level It was yellow and it was real

It was flaky. It wasn't cut 200 bucks. They gave me an eight-ball 430 in the fucking morning. Who buys an eight-ball 430 in the morning? That's like a death sensely an eight-ball at 430 in the morning Would you guys have like I know you probably didn't go back to the nazis. Maybe you did I don't know I only went one time But did you have like if you were gonna go to I know you're gonna say houston But maybe maybe in like Idaho. Did you have like this dealer's got this and I can't wait to go Oh, yeah, you knew you were cuban, huh? Did they get carried you were cuban? I didn't care

Uh, he cared that I was in a movie at the time. All right, and that's all that matters I was in a movie. I was in their living room You're famous cuban. I was buying an eight-ball and I was fucked up and so were they And they just overlooked it saying they just overlooked it I went to an after-hour party with one of the waiters from the laptop That black kid lights can kill a tall skinny one on the laptop. He's always there And um, it was like man. It was like one of those after-hour black clubs, you know

it caused like 10 five bucks to get in and um The bartender was selling beer and she was selling drugs, you know And beer and drugs and I went there with two comedians named Keith Manning and deal taylor two black guys But they had a pool table, but only them and they were serving food too Like um southern food like um both dang balls. I don't even know what that is they're like balls was was was fucking like rice and um ground beef inside dipped in gravy And um, of course they got me there, you know, like I wanted to buy a coke

So the first line was perfect, you know, I was like fuck man You know, it was the best coke ever like it like it really brought me down like It was fucking good, man. Like so I said, fuck you give me three of them But but after that man, I could never there were fugueses. Fuck. No, man. I could never reach that level again You know, I was just chasing the dragon. I don't know. Well the first package It was the first bottom of the good man. It was like Man, I was like, yeah, man. It's gonna be a badass party Order some bull damn balls. I had a meeting two weeks ago. Man, man. I met a dude at Marie T

Holmes road Holmes road. It's called Holmes road in Houston and the guy's very sweet And he said hey, man, my buddy's writing a book about disco And he comes here. Do you mind talking to him for 10 minutes? About two weeks ago. I went down to Marie T a little earlier and I met the guy. I was gay very sweet We talked about a few discos in the city and we were talking about he got on cocaine. He goes, do you mind if I ask you? And I said bring it on and he goes, you know what? And I asked him what I told him what streets I copped at and shit But the most important thing I broke it broke down from Philippine. I didn't realize that I got my car was

That coke from the 80s When you first did a blast of that shit and what I'm gonna go to Miami in 84, Philippine And the cocaine in Miami at the time that they had was making your eyes red Hmm, you weren't getting fucking speedy or nothing You were just fucking lit and your eyes got that red vein in them And you stayed up for a day, but you weren't speedy. You just stayed up like it was like a weird energy But if you really tried you could fall asleep if you really tried Later on you couldn't sleep and shit

You try to lay down and your fucking heart's pounding out of your fucking shirt You have no idea And you couldn't drink enough beer to content like No, man. No the cocaine burns through alcohol. Yeah, man. That's why it's one thing balances the other So you get to a point between the alcohol the nicotine the thc and the coke the pills and the coke everything is fucking running together You know what I'm saying? Like they talk about the uh somebody said to me. Do you ever see hunter s. Thompson's drug menu? Listen, I lived it You know what I'm saying? What are you talking about except for the morning stuff? I was never a really morning drug guy me neither

Especially the last 20 years. I was too busy doing this shit So you came behind the morning to I never was a day drinker that never happened I don't like alcohol at night. Never mind it to win the fucking afternoon When I'm gonna headache the rest of the fucking day But my shit at night I went and went fucking deep and hard and listen I'm not in this. I'm not uh glamorizing it by no means. I'm just showing you Even Felipe that in 2009 Felipe was still alive and I remember I would wake up some mornings and I'd have a missed call from Felipe

It's 6 15 in the morning. I go wow And I call him up. What are you doing? He by that time he already copped And he'd be telling me I'm riding dog. I woke up. I did some push-ups And I wouldn't put it together why Felipe would call me to call this seven the fucking morning And I I've been that way. You just let me just call in your mind. You're like, let me just call Felipe. Maybe he's holding You know I remember one day there was a guy you asking about drug dealers Lee Let me tell you how wide open it is

Again, sorry to talk about this this city one of my favorite cities in the country, Hollywood, Houston, texas had a kid That would come to your shows league and he would give you a bud and you'd go wow This is houston. Where did you get this from? He goes, this is where I grow And he'd go I got six other strains. You want to buy something here like yeah You'd go out to his car to Lee and he had one of those construction trucks With the pack with the panels and shit and I wish I was lying to you Lee I wish I was lying to you. He would open up the panels and he'd have little jars Of weed. This is fucking

12 years ago. The last stop was still open Yeah, this was at the last stop when rogan was headlining those things that you see of beat That that fucking video that you see of red band texting me and me going off on them in 2003. That was then That was then this guy would show up to the shows Lee And he would have these weed containers and then part of the conversation they go hold on And it was like you were in that scene in taxi driver I got fucking pills and you're like wait a second. What do you got the one time he came to a show he had coke

Vicodin Valium Xanax some tranquilizer you gave to retarded kids when they went over to top cp. He had something else. He had 20 Different fucking things in there. You must have been your favorite I used to give him 200 bucks, bro, and he would give me a to-go package that would fucking make a mule sing He would give me like a half eight ball Fucking 20 vikadins 20 xanax for a variety pack. Oh my god. He'd give me fucking animal tranquilizers You have no idea

Would you do something like give you like your favorite drug dealer like a christmas present or something all the time? Jesus my don't don't sleazy. I used to give him shit every year clothing Hats whatever they fucking gave me. I didn't want I passed it on to my drug dealer. That's the march Yeah, because I usually owe them money So this would kill things for a little while at least I got a package on christmas eve Sometimes let me get a gram until sometimes you would you would take up two shows to pick up You're like, it would be that you get a pair of hundred right next to you. You buy them a drink You just give right next to you. I used to bring up the show. I used to bring them to shows of me

Yeah, I used to hang out at the walk of yody. Yeah, I used to bring them to have a good time like a little groupie. I still talk To I talked to don. Yeah. Good week, too, though. Yeah. Yes tremendous week. Good week. I talked to don sleazy three days ago Armo my armenian. Yeah, I talked to him about uh, every three weeks How about the wolf but the lad the wolf is in new york? selling real estate making fucking money at the age Of 70 fucking three or four years old to bring the wolf around too, bro I used to the wolf was my partner. You guys can show that but I used to order extra burrito for him, too On your the wolf, uh, was a dear friend. I had him on the podcast about eight months ago

No, it's a little cars. I almost stabbed him He came on here and his daughter told him not to talk about the old days that he would be charged And he came on here and sat there like a fucking retard So I put him in a cab and his ex-wife called me and asked me what I gave him and I said, you know, he's the wolf You never knew what he had in that top pocket. Never I knew the wolf Since 1988 Is he named after the the pulp fiction character? No, no named after his own character. He's the original wolf

He's the car salesman denver right in denver. I met him in denver originally from new york and next week's dealer from hawaii Junkie new york east low east side. He did also crag back in the day He quit his his family owned the string of pharmacies and he robbed all of them In the 60s, I had they were they were jewish and his brother was the jew mambo king Of the new york city in the early 50s the dance king. Yeah, they were all the dance Jews So the story boy his hand real cool. Like joy. I'm losing my mind He would fucking do shit

He was the perfect partner because when you're doing drugs like that You have to have a partner and yet there has to be an understanding That listen you scratch my back And I scratch your back, you know what that means lee no if today tuesday Tomorrow morning I wake up broke and you wake up broke and god forbid you get a check I got mail to the wrong location and now you get the mail for 280. I get 100 off the top What?

Yeah, I'm good because I might get a check Thursday when you're broke There might be six and you might I might get 600. I might throw you a buck 50 So you like a you're like a like a little mini corporation It's a mini corporation. It runs well both ways, but there's times when we're both broke Is that a corporation man? And that's when I used to go. That's when I would put my cape on Okay, I mean if it's like if like oh, yeah, do people like a bind to it Yes, yes, I used to hate when I was a server and people would like pull tips. I'm like, I don't trust any of these motherfuckers

No, no, no, this is this is life. This is brotherhood life. This has nothing to do with People do it because they want to do it So when you have a drug partner that picks you up every day at one and goes What's the schedule for the day and you're like, well, how much gas you got? You know what I'm saying? How much gas you got that's number one How much gas do we have to work with because we're broke So we're gonna have to fucking take a ride somewhere and pick up an oven You know, you never know what you got to do it. What do you do with an oven?

You never know it's a quick 50. You might have to drive two way around who gives a fuck lady when you're when you're doing drugs It doesn't matter Every day is an adventure. Yeah, man. You're not living on that fucking computer. And I'm not I'm not saying nothing bad I just made a joke here But you wake up and you have 350 in your pocket. You gotta eat breakfast and you gotta get a pack of cigarettes Cigarettes are six bucks or seven last time I checked. So you're already minus 350 So you hopefully still sleeping next door in your leaps Give me five bucks. I don't get milk for breakfast or something

I only got seven joey. Give me five every up because the first thing these are cigarette to get the thinking going Because there's a roach in the ashtray from the night before give me five. Hurry up There we are another whole drove it to 11 that fucking roach So you gotta smoke that cigarette smoke that road shower and get out that fucking door and hustle breakfast So there's a guy that'll give you a negative sandwich and a you on the tab. That's the first place you had You tell him how you fucking left your wallet your cousins last night. I take a bus down there and pick it up You'll swing by laying in the three fucking bucks. There's no three bucks. You don't even take it a fucking bus

You're walking bitch This egg saying what she gives you this soda Is your nutrients till who knows? You know I'm saying until you can make some money and then you never know what you're gonna do You never know what you're gonna bump into Next you know I bump into Philippe and Philippa go dog. You're not gonna believe this You know that dude Lupe you don't like yeah He stashes drugs outside his house. That's it. We're on

We got a pipe. We got a mind fuck for the day How we're gonna do it. I don't know because the fucking this 10 mexicans on one corner and there's 82 on the other Unless you dress up like a fucking mailman and go in there and pick the rocks apart. I mean lee and we get creative The other time when um when I got fucked up in houston, you know that one time And I remember like when a young kid used to drive us around he worked for the club He loaned me a he loaned me a playstation fita one of those psp I hear me. He loaned me a playstation the little ones you hold like a psp A psp here. I just got it

But I was all coked out playing games with it, you know, and he he loaned it to me So when I took off I took off with it So I owed like 300 dollars, but I never paid the guy and I think joy paid him for me And I didn't even know and then one day David David He showed up to my show and I had money bro, and I said, you know what? I never forget people who took care of me. So I just said bro. I know I owe 300 bucks So here boom boom boom I give 300 bucks and then I then I find out from you that you gave him the 300 bucks But it's all right, man. He was a good dude. He was a good dude. He deserved that money man. He was a good dude

him and his cousin Took really good care of me too, man over the years you'd be surprised david I remember calling David at two in the morning going David your package I don't know where to go, you know Can you give me a ride and David will leave his wife come over pick me up Yeah, and give me a ride to the other side of Houston. I got a gram of coke from somebody You know, I was crazy he also took it to dumplings whenever he wanted Yes, he took it to dumplings and he took it to the other place to fuck it now

Rudy's barbecue I think not barb to barbecue, but the fucking khalaches khalaches You know that place was flooded, man. Oh, yeah area. Yeah, yeah All those cheap hotel they to put us in bro the left up man was bad. It was flooded, man How'd you do this week? It was good, man. Um, was it ready? Is it ready to go? It was ready to go man. Um, I I donated I donated half of the money to the box to the houston food bank And the other place was um friends for life animal shelter It's a no kill animal shelter. They don't kill the animals could for you Like if you bring a dog like some of the athletes rescued a lot of animals from the floods

So if you're missing an animal man, go check there. They don't kill a man like if you there's a dog with no legs They give him a wheelchair Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool. They have a with their wheelchairs now and they're bringing dogs all around the country So check your check yourself. So that was good, man. I want to I thought Khashogun was there when the when the hurricane started he left He did a thursday show, but he was gone by friday then so there were no shows. So um I'm like one of the first shows back since after the flood so I sold out some shows. I was happy. Thank you very much houston strong

But it was good, man. I remember like we were struggling Like we were taking any gig It was mark babbitt, you know, and then we got booked you and now we call headline together at the but at the At the houston improv I remember to forget that man. I sold 35 CDs for 20 bucks and that's pretty much saved me Because we're making that much money but man, man

You knew everybody there, man I was Because I remember that one night when I stood up for five days over there I called you up. I said, you know anybody that you could call up some guy named jenkins I'm not jenkins some other guy man some local comedian And then I think I hooked up with a guy you're talking about They had to all the drugs. Yeah, it was some little mexican dude. Real nice guy, man But gangsta dealer in houston. Very gentleman over there. My original dealer in houston

Would show up to the club on thursday. What to the hotel take orders and no no no He dropped something off me at the hotel to take the stress level down orally And he'd say I'm not going to collect till saturday run it Run the tab So thursday I had a package I had to do radio friday or wednesday in those days. It was wednesday through sunday And I didn't mind sleeping in houston on sundays because it was another party night on monday Monday was the open mic Yeah, the open mic was tight

It was a long six days and he used to have a friend And then it was packed, bro. It was like like a lot a lot of locals. I'm talking monday nights guys open mic 300 people from seven to two fucking a 60 fucking comics 60 fucking comics and man a lot a lot of open micers and a lot of like drinking local will show up booze blow Let's give us eight to fucking 10 30 For whatever they charge you would be one of the best shows you ever fucking yeah, man

That last time open mic those young open micers and those feature acts were brilliant And then the headliner would stay Because that was it And the headliner from the other club would stay yeah because there was three clubs in those days So you had three headliners on a monday night Place was packed 10 bucks, you know dollar beers till fucking 11. What do you expect Lee? Oh my god And you would get fucked up every night and then you had to get up monday all over again again And then like right outside the club man

Lee oh, I remember sitting on outside in the curb of the club like with a bunch of people there at the store We're all fucked up, man It was awesome. It's awesome. That was those are memories man that They're embarrassing But at the same time like I told when run white was here I met run white behind the houston lab stop 1998 Tommy John. He was opening up for cattoline madigan And we're out there smoking a joint

And you know that's the reason why I would go to houston because I had all my necessities covered Good food. I always brought reefer. I had reefer down there And I had best cocaine on all the cities my cocaine cities were houston Dallas always played with me Dallas I could go to one time and I had more coke than noriega Then the other time I couldn't get a fucking gram or fucking nothing El Paso was always there always the rest of El texas was always there. Miami. I was covered Atlanta. I was covered

DC I was covered myrtle beach forget about it's right there at the club waiting for you Forget about the jersey clubs and new york clubs all those clubs. There's always somebody who sells coke per kipsey There's one dude at those clubs you talk about it on stage You walk over to the bar as you're getting the drink The bartender go that joke about the fucking blow was hysterical and he'll give you a long look Sometimes you check in and run away the guy who picks you up asks you if there's anything you need that club we did in iowa I'm that gig you got me. Oh that was all whitey's Whitey's billiards and and i'm the buke

And it was a fucking cocaine haven Yeah, the pool table right next to meskens and the guy paid you at the airport and he gave you the weed for the night Yes, bro. He paid you when he picked whitey That was and it was whitey. He paid you when he picked you up, lee Okay, and he gave you a fucking package and he looked me in the face and he goes I'll come back to the whole town bring you some blown. I go i'm done. I don't do it anymore On the way there. He was telling me where we were at the buke. Yeah was the number one place for meth In the country that we've somebody saw that you had the buke plates

They would actually ask you if you had meth on you because that's what it was known for The owner owned that town man. So the owner owned that town Five car lots. We check into the fucking. I check into the hotel my weekend First of you have to take two planes that you fly into chicago Then you gotta take a smaller plane into southern Uh, illinois and did you do the casino first then the buke? No, no, no. I did the mexican restaurant Okay, i'm talking about the mexican restaurant. You got this gig confused. How's the mexican restaurant in debuke? Oh, that's right dog because they landed in mexico they instead of going to LA the gap on riddles drove you

No, no, no, that was when I went to the mission. That was when I went and did the the penguins gig Okay, you got me a gig one time where you flew into chicago And the guy picked you up on the southern tip of chicago of illinois and then he drove you over into iowa And my keel and they were the first mexicans ever in iowa. Yes, my keel. Mexican restaurant He picks me up at the fucking He's doing like a spot on his face. Yeah, he had like a birthmark on his face He picks you up on the truck Lee He gives you an envelope and he gives you a fucking handful of rifa

Which I already have east chicago. You were by the iowa like the but the border of it something over there Yeah, all of these messi who are lawyers. Well, the guy told me where you're going. It's the where met this fucking invented. Yes So if they see people with those the whatever plates, I'm sorry to say the name. I'm not Saying it correctly. I'm not here in socha city If he told me at the gas station that they did a big thing about on hbo Everybody knows it's a big met thing. Okay. He takes me to the hotel league. It's so fucking secluded That if you missed the 6am flight You ain't flying out to the next day

Hell no, it's one of those fucking places. Okay I'm not sure if my wife was pregnant. I'm not sure what the fuck happened But all I know is I get to the gig and the mother's there the father's there The parents everybody's there the families the wives with rocks in their hand Everybody's drinking margaritas two comics one up. They brought me up. I did my 40 minutes. It was a lot of fun They sold like 80 tickets. Okay second shell the parents leave Lee

and all of a sudden the place turned into Fucking evening of monsters Everybody and leave look at me when I talk to you real quick. You know, I never to look at you like this If there were 60 people in that bar including the staff and the workers Everybody was on block. That's it turned to dust to dog. It turned from dust to dark Jaws were going people were waiting online by bathrooms Drinks were everywhere. I tried to do the second show. There was no fucking all of 80 conversations

No, fucking nothing. I gave up up to 25 minutes and you know me I'll beat them up if I have to pretend nothing. I got off and they were happy bro You said I was so coked up The guy offered me again The guy's like, you know, you want and he was fucked up already at 11 I looked at him 80 times. Are you gonna be pick me up and fucking for 30? I'll be there dog better. I'll be there I'll pick you up. Was this a tall Mexican. I don't remember dog. I know he called me a few times He contacted me maybe

The first time I went had to be 10 years ago Yeah, then he kept calling me for a few years. He was gonna bring me back But he scared me that shit scared me. I can't handle that now Now now where was he 20 years ago? I would have moved there. Yeah, I would have just fucking stayed There was fucking Broads that was fucking drinking. There was a bartender just gave us like 1980 I used to go to a bar called the rooftop 12 dollars to get in or you could drink from three to fucking seven It was the same thing people all over the place

Conversations aligned to go to the men's bathroom aligned to go to the woman's bathroom Everybody talking nonsense I think the guy named was Sam Who is this? Jeopardy who gives a man shut up. It's so Sam. All I know is there was a fun fucking you always You and me always did those fucking gigs. Hell. Yeah, the night ended up in a question mark Oh, yeah, like when you first get into comedy you do these gigs with a night In Odessa, it's 17 people but the guy's paying you still

Remember did Odessa the wild wild west bar? Me you a man. Yeah, no, no really it was it was Odessa or It was Odessa that was with fucking what's the name around Roman John Roman and it was like 35 people with a guy still paid us Wasn't that with nicky gara? Yes. Are you sure that was the weekend? It was like in a in a bar, bro in the middle of nowhere in midland, texas That was where you got that when you had the the bartender had those big ass titties and she had a biker bar Right there those guys didn't give a fuck how fool it was that everybody was making money there

Then they robbed the place. Yeah, and everybody went to federal prison tits and the biker boyfriend husband They got locked up or she ratted him out or he got out. She touched the fried against them guys That guy was crazy, bro. This is the company This is I told you about that gig because that's this bro. Don't worry about it, bro Nobody's gonna show up But they got to a page because he loves comedy and he's trying to build a comedy scene over there And that guy paid me man. I couldn't believe it. You pulled up to a trailer. That was a yeah And there was whatever whatever good money who give you there was there was no trailer. It was a warehouse

There was nothing around there guys Dust a couple horse like people and people drove that's the place where the people said I want to take a picture with you And I go, okay, let's take it and they're like we don't have a camera And I go so how we're gonna take a picture and they go, I don't know like a high and they're holding you Huh, and they're holding you for the photo, but there's no camera. No, no, no the guy shook my hand And I could feel how dirty the whole family was The whole family was fucking the two but also they the two daughters had no next They just kept looking at me like they were fucking Martians like they had never been out at night before and shit

And uh real alien real alien a father waited till the end And he shook my hand and his hand was filthy You ever shake some of these hands his hand is filthy But I mean like there's grease my dad was canning and then he had on top of that He had like that little mild salt Yeah, you know if you went to the beach and he put his hands in butter and he put them in salt You know, and then he dipped them on the beats Well, you never know that's what his hands felt like he had in other words

He hadn't washed his hands in three or four fucking days. Okay. That's what his hands felt like So after we shake hands and how you doing? He goes, you know, you were pretty funny. He goes, listen Are you want to take a picture? He goes, yeah And we just we had like a uncomfortable moment for 20 seconds like Are you gonna come and he goes, no, I don't I go, so how are we gonna take a picture? How are we gonna get it to you? And he goes, I don't know He goes, I just want to take a picture Damn

So that's the type of bar that fucking was man the owner of that place remember the biker guy The guy with the hair. Yeah, but there was another crazy guy that sold that that sold another crazy guy that sold um He sold ecstasy, but They gave me some weed, right? They didn't in the afternoon after press he the owner cost me a philippines We're gonna go to the fights. You want to go to the fights? And I said, I'm I'm good, man. All right. No, we're gonna go maybe we're gonna go to the fights It's it's fine, man. We're all going half of the time. I'm gonna be there

And I said, all right, man, that's like looking around man. What kind of fight is this man? No, it's dog fights You know my pet booth fighting, you know, I got $3,000 on him and I said, nah, man, I don't want to go man He just take me back. I gotta go over my set. I gotta take a nap man. I'll try it from radio You know, I like fuck dog. Is that how they get done in texas? Like an actual dog fight And they were like he he had a farm and they're gonna have it at some other guy's farm And and this guy's the only guy who drives a red hummer in town Then there was the other place that the owners were mexicans

But the kid who ran the club was white and he was a magician And he was married to two people in the cops were looking for him. He had a warrant on houston Because they were all in spars of probably we did a giveaway at the owner club and these guys were all as far as us I don't know what they were. I know the town was whatever we did it And again, I'm not here to disrespect any I love texas texas rocks moved to texas any this place was fucked up I don't know. It was a border town close to the border. It was fucked up my calendar fucking The bar was owned by belt buckle mexican cowboy hats and the boots And when you got there they gave you an eight ball right off the bat on a fucking friday. It was four shows

And the bar got busted a couple times Jesus christ, what about the other place and where's selena from Corporate christie, bro. They get down over there too corpus christi I had some weird fucking somebody left me a big bump in the toilet, bro Somebody gave me coke when they had remember they there was a comp There was a club down there that for years they tried to do something with it and they had like a milkshake type theme Yeah, it was the one that the devil bought before before it was it was something else. It was a club with a empty fucking mall

It was a it was a club. It was a comedy club. I did it with maryland. Yeah, maryland went down there. It was good money and came saturday night maryland called me she goes joey Come to my room. I have something for you And I went over to the third day of reading fucking god bless their soul They were eating fucking chocolates and popcorn and salami and shit. They were hysterical When they went on the road lead they brought a fucking Cooler with them. Like I had never seen that not a cooler cooler. You know those big big big industrial coolers salami cheese

Fucking beers crackers They were going to a whole tower room. They wouldn't have to leave. That's why she was 400 fucking pounds Because she would just sit there with her dress on that bed fucking eat snacks all day licking her fingers and shit I went to a whole tower room and she gave me like There had to be three four grams of blow Like a way to get this from and she goes to yonder. He didn't give me that Like are you fucking crazy? He didn't give me none. She goes go downstairs. He's got something for you I took maryland's and I went downstairs and the only thing I've been looking for you to take this

This is part of your payment. I stayed there. I missed that fucking flight I didn't leave till monday. Yeah, what happened if like I I came and I don't do coke and he's like, yeah, that's part of your payment Did you give it away or you started looks like you're doing coke You'll find a woman that wants to do it, bro Doesn't have any when you come back you come back that way you make a few calls so you can get rid of it wholesale fuck Or you um rock it up or you order people wouldn't give me nothing like that. It's just they knew these are all Listen, you play that places that will legitimately you play that some places that people wanted to try comedy

Don't forget bugs even to some bro bugs. He's oh my god big alex 150 bucks wednesday night 150 bucks flat nice hotel. They flew you out of burbank. What a gig the hotel was questionable Oh, yeah, it was a call the fucking the haunted golf course Oh, but the tacos across the street from the hotel the mexican food across from the hotel Oh, you were there was gabery glencias on your first gig was done when he lost his virginity That's that's what me and space mall at the trash can and red lobster and the chick mommy mommy mommy Yeah, mommy, mommy. There we go chair. That is the chair is now you wanted the bugsies and you brought a bug They let you in on wednesday nights

What kind of bug what? That was like the ultimate gig man. If you kill the fly and you brought it with you on wednesday night to let you in for free in a baggie Yeah, man, you can hook up with anybody there, man. I hope that was a pregnant chick Crazy when they put that baggie up your ass. Holy. I don't fucking know. I didn't ask the owners They just know what you like to party man. I'll give it to you. Oh my god. Lee. That was crazy wednesday nights And nobody missed that flag because they're gonna give another one and I was on the rotation I was going every seven weeks

Like every seven weeks rudy would call me pistol joe. You know how much I'm gay We got that for that show Because rudy rudy moreno had asked me, you know, any comedians that want to do it for real cheap And I knew gabry glassy as fluffy had just started doing style in the comedy two weeks two weeks But he's already killing killing So I said, hey man, I know this comic that I could do it. He got 60 dollars and lots of virginity Oh my god, and then play 60 dollars and I'm playing ticket

And you flew out of burbank southwest. Oh my god I mean, it was tremendous. It was we were spoiled. I don't know if you were spoiled But it was like it was good to have those gigs at the time you flew down wednesday morning at about 11 o'clock Some dude who weighed 600 pounds Alex picked you up in a fucking truck at the Tucson airport and you went to a fucking restaurant Good fucking listen to me dog. Lee. Oh my god. He weighed 600 pounds shrimp tacos What do you think that order looked like when you got to your table? You're fucking he weighed six like he had fat

On the back of his neck. Lee like one of those guys on the 600 pound life. Like he was one of those guys Yeah, my head the but he was global. Yeah, he would walk like like like walk He would take us to that place first you ate and then you took a nap because trust me a nap We were like 20 tacos tacos on their sodas. They like so they're good cocktails man Everything everything just think of a table with fucking like every type of food on it And he only pays 48 dollars Shrimp cook you like you can order give us two shrimp cocktails or shrimp kiss at the end and two fish tacos and it was right there, man We got up to the room you took a match and we started drinking micheladas

And that he would drink micheladas. He picked you up at 7 30 The gig started at eight three comics the 30 minutes apiece And then they did a disco dj And that's when you met your little victim for the night. Hell. Yeah, she still she stick around after the show They stuck around after the show You picked up your little girl from they took it to this hotel where the door didn't close It was crazy. It was a crack hotel I was there with a chick one time with the comedian the female comic as you call me in the middle of the night

That somebody was opening up a bathroom window and shit. That's a cracky hotel, but go there now. It's beautiful They redid it. It's got like a southern, uh, what's that the western southwestern flair It's orange with marble and shit. I was just there maybe 10 years or eight years ago I met a woman there that just had a baby bro like she had a newborn And I remember we had sex bro with a baby with crying man And I was trying to keep the baby crying going But man, they have I had a lot of good food in twosome, man, you know besides all that

I had ranch French fries and bacon bits for the first time there. Lee that's we you fucking hey man I remember you ordered a fucking 20 piece for the chicken Let me tell you something in those days. We were fucking slobs. We were slobs one b We were making no money So half the payment was the food in that city It's like anybody knew that anytime you have any of those rides modesta by san lio All those fresno lots of you

There's a stop on the 101 north or something the five north lee and he's my witness. That's why I told you that time There's like an exit There's a food truck in the gas station And it was well known that on the way up you always stopped there And it was young deli issues dog. I'm talking 20 years ago. Mexican food. Yeah It was that one of the place that you went in a subway a gas station. Yeah almost like a subway Yeah, you open the door and then you're in a Mexican restaurant. No, no, no, no They still had the food truck outside. It was like an old lunch truck. Okay. No, that was I know what's on this

You know that one is on the side. It's an Indian restaurant. Yes something crazy. Yeah, but a good fucking burrito. Oh my god Lisa yeah, all that shit and they were to read the whole back and the tortas man It was fat and like if you order chorizo torta the fucking tort the bread was red Yeah, you have to go to places in those days that place still there anywhere. I went it was because I was doing comedy. I could practice my routine a B. I was getting paid sleep. Well, not a lot of money. Sometimes I didn't stay in sleep Sometimes I pocketed the hotel money and fucking drove back five hours like a solid. I was one of those guys You're a savage, bro. I would do that. You just cut corners. No, I would go fucking. I'm not I'm gonna snuck coke thursday

Friday my gig is Saturday So by Saturday, I won't want to snort But I won't want to stay up there either I'll do the gig and drive back You know, I would take even though I was snorting a lot in those days I would also know when I was taking the days off I would plan the day off. So I would snort all the way up to that day off. You know, it was easy It wasn't hard

And then there was another gay man with oh my god The rick martini used to have was with a crazy white boy magician in Stockton That guy hooked me up too, man He was like he showed up was like all kind of chains and shit that makes you can do Him and his girlfriend in a band Yeah, man, I was tight So many dudes, man, like why why didn't I start doing comedy shows? You know, it's it's funny that we did that taping for no reason in Sacramento. We didn't know the taping

Well, at least I didn't know It's funny for leaping that we're talking about all these gigs And again this saturday you're on hb. I know man. It is a hp all the fuck Who would have thought man? What we're doing now is wednesday night, and you know, I talk about in the podcast all the time that we're making a living You me Ralphie may man just hanging out man Sharing eating a burrito and not even thinking about what's gonna happen in the future They're eating a fat ass burrito

60 dollars doing kamachos 40 bucks kamachos 40 bucks Ralphie may we do go show up for 60 dollars and a burrito and a buffet You'd always say me a green pork burrito. Yes When I'd walk in Felipe would hand me a pork A green pork burrito with rice and beans only you have no fucking idea And then I would raid around do my little spot. Hopefully that willy would get off in time And then I would do my little fucking time and getting that car and come back Hopefully pick up another gig or I'd have a spot to count me store

Those are the gigs They made me man. Yeah, they made who I am too and I'm you know Because I would do it every day. It was every day. I knew that every day. I had to make a 50 dollar somewhere Because I would add it up for 30 days, you know, I needed to make 50 dollars My rent was 295 at the time I found a garage. I found a good spot to live in frog town right next to a million million reverse house A little a little one studio bro right next to a Salvadorian guy And I lived there bro like

And man, I try every every money I got I fucking Well, like you did for drugs, but when I was sober When I didn't do drugs, I found another way to fuck up my life, you know, I started gambling Like me and Gabriel Iglesias, we would go we would make a hundred dollars and drive To the morongo casino and try to flip it to 300 400 And we would lose bro I remember we did a show where Dante the comedian Dante and he paid us um, well

600 700 dollars And we pulled over to the too much casino And we fucking lost it all In nine hours and we were up and down bro open down open down And I remember watching game rose $1,300 go away and he put his head down. He said Wow There goes my laptop I was gonna buy And he missed the gig

He missed the gig, you know, because I know We we fucking out we we stood there. We fucking didn't sleep And we we missed our fucking gig man the next gig So I always found a way to fuck up my life, you know, I don't know if you ever had a problem gambling When I was younger, I did I died. I was like an idiot, bro. I didn't like I would go to the horses I didn't like it I like listening. I like you calling me and going. Hey, what are you doing this afternoon? No, let's go to San Anita Let's stop at the 8 p.m. I take 60 bucks out

When I get there, we got a hot dog. We go for a walk. We smoke a joint We bet till we lose the 40 or if we win week you stay Usually I do five if we do five to six fucking races We didn't I don't want to have we got some sun We had a nice hot dog cooked by dirty people Yeah, you sell some headache beer and you bet. Yeah, you fucked around for a little while. What do you give a fuck? If you're going down there to make a living that's a complete different set of rules right there If you're going down there to make a living like you need to pay rent

So you're gonna come to the horse track and that's how you think you're gonna make it. Good luck to you I remember you had a joke about a punny joke about gambling And then you you busted out you you know, you a busted out at walk yodis or you know, we did a lot of sports bars, bro A lot of places that to turn off the fucking Laker game or whatever game that was on for comedy and didn't like that shit And you said I don't give I don't give a fuck about no fucking NFL I wear a hat every sunday. It's that it's like the raiders negative seven I got a hat that says minus seven minus seven because that the For the raider needs to look like seven mentioned that I was thinking about a gig that day

That it was in a place that you did comedy and right next to it was where you I mean guys right next to where you stood 50 yards from where you stood Was a fucking those basketball things Where you shoot the basket and if it goes in it goes around and you win a fucking prize Yeah, a carnival and I think it was this is bashing satina room So I went to the ha ha about three weeks ago on a wednesday. Let me go on a tour thursday on a thursday Thursday, I said he called me uh the other kid Uh

Sapata And he was bro. You never dropped mine. Uh-huh on a thursday. I didn't know you were there So I was at the store that night. Oh, let me get another set under my belt. I pulled up. I go in there What the fuck was I talking about? You tell him I seen the bastion. So I saw some bashing satina man And he goes do you remember me and I go I never forgot you You know, I go how many fucking gigs did you give me? You know what I am? Let's be honest You paid the fucking bills

He was the king of the al capucco gigs He had all the al capuccos every al capucco man a fellow wittier He had that gig where you had the fucking basketball court. Yeah next to the comedy stage. That was one of his gigs, man It was weird how all these young comics And then thousands of gigs and resting piece to rudy medina who I gave him a shout out on my my last special I told him resting piece rudy medina. This kid was like this kid was a kid Who will show up every wednesday get heckled and wheelies to beat his ass in comedy like make fun of him And he started doing comedy and he used to book a pizza place. That was eight to the number two toes

And he would pay cash man remember rudy medina. Fuck yeah, he used to book the whatever country club The wittier It was a country club somewhere over there the sage Oh, no, it was an orange county. I don't know what you're talking about. No, no, no What's the place you used to do tortillas? Yeah by the hospital. Yeah same exit to go to that country club So think about that exit. What's what was the name of the town where we did the wittier It was the wittier country club abyss. He had a he had a gig inside the wittier country club That I did three or four times. He was a great kid

Yeah, I tried hard and that's listen half the time When you really love comedy And you are not getting booked Through the monobello club monobello country country club And you don't know how to get booked. You know what you do you go to a bar Start a fucking room and you start a room and you don't you know, you're not sanatra You're not gonna fucking pay your rent and drive a rental car because off this gig This is money for you to drink and get a blast

Pick up chicks. This is what this gig is for so wednesday night But whatever your fucking name is And next thing you know on wednesdays comics are coming to your bar They try and stand up and you're getting on stage every week Which is the fucking most important thing And before you know it, you have two people then you have six then you have 16 Then you have 34 and now you have 44 45 people every fucking week. You're in business. You follow me That's how you get into comedy and listen if it wasn't for felipe

And fucking willy and rudy even rudy with the brave bull. Come on I did the brave bull. I did that gig every fucking weekend for a year for the small 25 But it didn't matter and it wasn't a way to open up for a band Yeah, because the small 25 got you a hundred a month if you did 10 of those things you paid rent You did a couple be cleaner, right? Yeah, you had to be clean. I ain't gonna be fucking off that shit be clean So that's how you become a comic. Let me give some shout outs here my brother Shout outs All right, so Aaron ranger my man joe t comedy

comedy papa dak One and one one by one podcast my buddy, mikey stein Chin from taiwan. You little fucking con suck. I love it. Chin's the best chin's the best pepperoni playboy And my fucking federal Jeffrey Collins the man of fucking steel Always there for a swimway or another Tell the people I don't know how this special came. No, don't put the glasses on for jump set Oh, you're a young guy. You don't need glasses the the special actually the special was diy. I did it

I did it myself I saved up some money the last couple of years And my wife lisa sparsa We we worked together on it With the production part of it. So we reproduced it ourselves. We hired um Claude shires and he the comedian He has an unreal media. He um, he edited my um first special for For scott muntoya the show time special

And um, we got him into director special And everything we did it ourselves like I was even like if you when the show ends You'll see the credits. It's his craft service. Philippa sparsa I was getting sandwiches and feeding the crew all day before my show And we did it the same who the improv, you know We did the same who the improv and My agent chris muth from icm. He shot that around and

HBO or like They fell in love with the production of the show like everything was right The background and they normally don't buy specials. They produce their own specials They don't buy specials from unknowns, you know I am unknown unknown You know, they buy specials from you know the the top comedians So I was very surprised when they said they wanted to buy it and They didn't want to change anything of it, you know, and they wanted to be an

HBO behind it 100 percent and they got me a bunch of press And um, it'll be on september 30 Produced by lisa asparza Philippa sparsa So she's not managing no more. She's the producer. She's the producer exactly the producer You tell your mom Yeah, I told my mom about it, you know, she's happy. She's my mom got to see the special When I was in I had a show in new york at the

At carolines. I was there for a week And I went there with my friend chris tori and rodrigo tori silent bob and I invited my mom and She's right. You took him out. She flew out, bro We went to go see the the schoony island. We're on the same train and She got to go to every single show and she sat in the back and Came with that new boy. She had to every show A lot of jokes are about her and she approved it. So She said

No, she thinks it's an exaggeration, but you know in her own way, she's proud She's happy, bro. That's awesome How long did it take you to work for the material? Oh, man, it takes me like Two years for the one hour three years actually to get it right It took me two years to actually write it, you know To where um Where I know what jokes I'm gonna say, but it took me like another through another year to actually like get comfortable because When I do like my material, I like to get comfortable with my material where like

I don't want to lean on a closer like oh man. I didn't get to do my closer So once I know that my ending is sharp and it's closing hard I like to Begin with those jokes, you know to challenge myself if I could really keep the consistency of laughter So I gotta challenge myself sometimes, you know, I have a bad set In 45 minutes, you know The crowd didn't know that the shit he said but I know in my mind is a bad set Oh, yeah, we discussed this on the show before yeah, so I gotta you guys a lot can

I'm dying inside bro. I know that she's not working. I feel like I'm selling I'm selling out It's very interesting that I pulled into town January of 97 And you're one of the first cats I met at the laugh factory at the laugh factory But then we used to do sets on sunday nights Improv they at the improv and For a Mercedes the john missa is he alive resting peace also Also, um, this is john missa also, um, we to do the potluck when they put the names inside

Big fat chewy a guy that used to you used to give a right to to the hospital for the hospital now. Let me ask you this What was the name of the guy that used to go on stays? He used to say he was Spanish and he played a fucking stick against the floor That was it was blind No, he wasn't blind. He'd go and he'd play a stick. He was one of the top latin comics from the revolution started I see him a lot. I don't know who that is and I forget what his name is Not larry Omaha, right? No, we always talk mildly, but we keep it light Because I really don't know what his fucking name is

He had a stick. Yeah, he was going stage of the stick and he was a favorite of It was a whole different latin scene I don't know who that guy is and he had a lot of like what I mean that it's not, um, um, about Um, O'Brien and about this right a duo. No, I rich guy in a blanket. Oh the first community I met man Cool guys, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No a lot of good comments, you know, like Willie Borsena like yeah Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now. What was the guy that he he found love with the transgender? And he moved to Texas with her So when that like Ruben Quintana

No, no, he one of those guys began a born-again Christian That's Ruben Ruben and I called him one time. He brought that waitress over from our pastor. That was crazy He did something crazy. He married a woman with nine kids That's crazy and became born-again Christian became one and I might call them for a gig But he was an animal too though before I like them. Yeah, it was cool, bro We're gonna tell that was one of the communities that I thought was so fucking hilarious You brought him up. I loved him. He was the first guy I met the natural fudge here in a Byron Keith He was very cool. And I remember he moved

I left a message for a gig and he called me back and he goes, how dare you cuz I'm my answer machine I'm a Christian now. You insulted my wife. You insulted my family and my kids are scared I go, I'm so sorry, Doug And I never spoke to that man never called me again. I loved that dude We had wild conversations. I cannot believe you brought him Because you the fool let me tell you some people it's cold-blooded As you think comedy is and whatever You make certain bonds

with certain comics And my bond with Felipe isn't you know, we're done till they bury us You know what I'm saying? And I know when they bury him it's gonna take a piece out of me and when they bury me It's gonna take a piece out of him because we were here 20 years ago We went through this together. We did the same gigs If I got a gig, he got a gig if he got a gig, I got a gig That's just the way it did

Joey Medina, there was a bunch of us then when you seen uh, I was just talking to my wife about that, you know Because you know, I did we all in houston and we were talking on the phone And I said, you know what, you know, somehow Um, someone always took care of me, you know, or I took care of somebody and I remember like I was it was New year's eve and I had nothing to do bro and you cancelled on On that that black dude in fresno with a bicycle casino The 21 casino or whatever it was It was um, that guy that was a radio station guy in fresno. Oh

him Uh, um, bandcroft whatever his name was that guy And then you call me a Felipe man. What are you doing tonight? Nothing man? I can't make it to a gig and fucking fresno for Andrew McConaughey, whatever that guy was man And now good dude, good dude, man. Good dude. He was from the radio thing. He's still there in the morning in the radio station He's still booking and he's there. He's he's he's there like a deaf jam and got a nice little job He's a good Andrew

Andre Covington, Andre shot out this guy another guy, you know and He you couldn't do the gig and and um, I guess he trusted me enough to headline it And man, I went there when I drove there with my ex at the time And man, I never forget that man. Like I had no money and like you just threw me 400 right there out of nowhere playboy When you live for the day, they're still getting money when I came back. Oh, you came looking for me for something It's so weird how you Thank you, by the way, man. I love you for that man guys you I was lucky I had nothing

You could walk around and I could go fuck Lisa yet If somebody calls me for a podcast job, I'm not gonna give it to Lisa yet Why wouldn't you do something like that? You take care of your friends and guess what? Some day when you're fucking busted And nobody else believes in you fucking Lisa. That's gonna be a fucking CEO of a marketing podcast thing. So I got an idea for old fat fucking comics Ha and I'm gonna be you know, at least I could squeeze a nick a lot of it once a week or something like that

That's how life works itself out I got very lucky. I did a movie called the longest yard And I became friends with a lot of people from that movie and I kept in touch with them And I kept in touch with nick the tour when they nick the tour calls me And he goes i'm looking for a mexican dude really funny They're telling me I need to talk to this guy and this guy and this guy Can you get him for me and I go no, no, no, no, no, I can get him for you But I read the script the guy you're looking for is Felipe Sparza. Oh

Felipe Sparza, how come I don't know? I don't want to see somebody. I don't know. Listen, it doesn't matter what you know And what you don't know I'm telling you that I wouldn't send him to you if he wasn't the guy So I said this is the deal. I'm gonna send him to you. You're gonna let him read with you If you don't like him, then we'll get you the other guys, but this is the guy How do you know because I'm telling you I fucking know Listen, Felipe, you weren't outside the room And he was calling me. He was so happy. That's the guy. How did you know that's the guy?

Joey reminds me of my brother. Yes, Joey. He reminds me of a fucking brother. That's the guy That's the guy. Joe. He was so happy And you know what? It was a movie role. Who the fuck is your movie role? People work all their lives ladies and gentlemen to get a movie role You don't know what it's like for somebody just to call you and go ahead and listen go down at 4 o'clock and talk with this guy And they paid well. Yeah, pay listen. We had a blast Doing I had to put a mustache on we I tried they told me to grow a mustache. Oh my god He couldn't shove that you fucking told me to grow a mustache and I shaved it off for a party or something

They had a glue a fake mustache on It was just ridiculous because I find Paul Rodriguez to break it to his house. They had a break in the Paul Rodriguez house He was eating yum yum fucking He was eating something they couldn't wake him up. I cannot wake him up. This movie was a fight I did like three or four days on and Then we had to wait four hours for a party together. So we just moaned It was fucking raining all day. The director had the worst comb over Oh my god, ever saw in your life ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about something that

You had a stare at for 30 seconds and you he was David Crockett. Come on. Oh my god And you scratch your head going to mirroring a lord no matter what happens I don't give a fuck if you make my head look like Vinnie Woods Don't do that to my fucking hairdo Guys, he was working at him. I'm one Lisa. I had what a button And he couldn't finish at least I had one shirt one time and this button over here was broken dug It was holding on for dear life. I mean that's that thing Was on the cliff of death. You could see him. It was just like that

And held together. It was a good it was a good button. Do you know me fucking people? Felipe have called me and said hey What are you doing tomorrow? I don't mean like I don't know why I wasn't My buddy has a role in the movie. It just dropped out It pays 800 you playing gangster Come on. What are we gonna do? There's gotta be a by the way. You're like, well Where's it shoot Santa Monica four o'clock tomorrow night? You'll be out there by 11 30. You said guaranteed They got a break for lunch. You have one scene, you know shit like that

Lee that fucking happens. Yes, man. Like that happens ladies and gentlemen. I never want you guys Nobody's gonna come up to you when you're walking on the beach and nobody uh, we like your look. Well, no, no, no This is after you've been here for a while. Yes, and you meet lee When lees wants to be a comic as an open mic But for some reason you were nice to lee lee made your giggle He got your high And one day lee gets a job as a writing assistant and guess what lee still comes around to watch comedy But then guess what happens lee gets promoted

To a fucking writer's job and guess what lee's gonna write about Us and the next thing you know lee's calling you going. Hey, what are you doing tomorrow? I got a day at work for you pays 8 50 You're gonna work all day. I wrote this role about you being a garbage man that sings with his dick out fine And that's how it works like years man like years after that movie with joe deal hooked me up with with john With nick tutorial I gave everybody on the set my comedy cd that gayro did for me for the ice house I just gave everybody one and I remember the the the executive producer of that movie the filipino guy

Manny redford That was the name manny redford. That was the name manny redford He loved the cd. He was falling pay you want to make a movie out of this cd And I said what I didn't believe him, right? I thought he was kidding So I didn't call him for like um, I didn't I didn't know I ignored him for like six months And then he said he was serious. So We had a meeting bro and he paid me like a lot of money A lot of money at the time for me for anything. He was

I'm gonna get a director and he's gonna rewrite rewrite your stand-up comedy into a script And we're gonna make a movie and we're gonna title it. I'm not like that no more So bro, this guy was not fucking kidding man. He paid me like seven grand top seven grand And I it ended up hollywood works. I already had a One of those tarot cherry tarp or the con for that movie was deported That was like my first movie. So Without sag

So for the same with this $7,000 I had to use most of it to get into sag just to do the movie Which I didn't care, you know but I Because of you and hook me up with that movie and being nice to everybody in a set I got to do my own movie starring philippa sparsa And then I got parodriguez to play my father in a movie And the whole movie is based on my stand-up comedy Like if you ever heard of my comedy with my brother the gay brother

Yeah, yeah, yeah life raft threesome. It's all in there man threesome fucking tranny It was amazing bro and that movie went nowhere, but I got to do a movie I got paid I had no marketing money. Hell no, but we went straight to nowhere budget with zero that went straight to zero One day amazon prime the dream is to have enough money to buy it and then release it and then re redo it Re redo it. Yeah, like just re-release it put charles bronson the whole fucking cast those dirty bastards How do you feel about saturday's show? How's your set? What do you think about that set? I think about it, you know, I did it a year ago, right? And I was worried about the show the jokes might be um dated, you know But no man's not dated

I try to like Make it fun. I try to write a joke man. Like, you know, like bill cosby and Richard prior, you know, power. Rodrigo is running danger film, you know, a joke that you could just quote over and over for days, you know You never forget man. Like Like when I hear like fray the smith, you know, fray the smith killed me, you know, fray the smith, right? He goes on the podcast. Yeah, man. He goes. He had that one joke man about When when when fucking jack kovorkin was was still alive. He said, yeah, uh jack kovorkin just added a A waiting room in his doctor's office. Yeah, the nurse comes out and tells you hey the doctor will kill you right now come this way

And then I think that joke killed you that fray the smith said about um, yeah, um Just found out that dog the doctor said in the news were saying that spanish is really bad for people So now's a good day to fucking beat the shit out of papai Oh jesus christ Yeah, buddy. No more fray the smith jokes on the show right now. All right, man. I'm not fray the smith Justice to shit, poor fray. Hey there, buddy. Good. I heard that these are going great for you, buddy Listen, let me tell you something, man when I saw your

thing playing On HBO my heart stopped believing I gotta tell you something. I wanted you on the show. I called you and I said wouldn't late. Do you want to go on? Because I had to get you on to tell you how proud I am. I want the church People listen to this show and understand I know in the beginning we got a little druggy Yeah, but that's to explain to you the debts The journey where we were and how strong the dream was

And guess what? This is all I wanted to be at the comedian man out of here I party hard, but in the morning I show up sleeping to your shows. I'll sleep in the green room, but I'm gonna do a show I need to get paid. I need to go up. No matter what one of the most classic stories ever that we could tell on here Was that, you know, Felipe went to houston had a phenomenal week You know when he went down there, he ran into the obstacles that I used to run into it's everywhere and the people are fucking sweethearts And you're doing a couple bumps here next, you know, you're the bar here next, you know, you were that southern guy

And it's six in the morning. He's taking you all over doing bumps Bumped a Mexican restaurant. He's having fucking beer out of a coffee cup And one of the nights Felipe one of the legendary stories that Felipe Got the hotel room the tranny the whole fucking deal Lights the curtain on fire, you know, just just classic Felipe Monday he goes all fucking day And monday night he shows up at this most famous open mic And unconsciously destroys the fucking room

I killed like just destroys the room That if there was facebook They would have rumbled all over the country type of this. I don't know what I said, but it was funny, man Oh, you went off. I had 20 000 calls the next day People were like, are you fucking even peep peep mad at you? Yeah, he was mad. Yeah Light the hotel room on fire. I said that was one of the most amazing fucking things I ever saw And what made it more amazing

Is that you had been up for fucking 30 something fucking thousand hours. I've been up since friday, man Jesus christ Friday at two in the morning, man. I've been partying Like a soldier We're here for you, bro. I'm happy to be alive, man. No, forget about being But you know what was cool about that night on monday that comedian, man The one it was touring was share He was really cool with me that night. Like he really like I

One thing I remember was that um, he was he's a merry comedian And he said that you can spend a night in my house if you need a place to stay and then he stood with me But I was like too fucked up to ignore him, but he was real cool It was um, they got me. Tommy. Tommy john something like that. Yeah, it was i'm slay's friend. Tommy He toured with share. Listen, bro. That was a great comedy scene. Tommy john. I'm very proud that I got to be Go through that scene At that time I used to go to boston, which it was the hardest market to go. Oh my god And I wouldn't work the top club. I remember we did k-locals and you left

I would work grill 93 and and go to boston and then shoot down to the big one fanny hall And I would do all those rooms, you know, I was very fortunate man, but I had Jesus christ I'm a Milwaukee I went all over this fucking country. You had nothing holding you back. I had nothing holding me back I knew I couldn't see my kids, you know, they they thought I wasn't the same fucking listen I was like I couldn't see my kids, you know, I know I had child support hanging behind me You know, I was like you had a big die, bro. I gotta make cash

Cash in cash. I remember a man like this guy paying me a check I said, this is a man What's he gonna get up in the morning because we're gonna go cash this shit that when a bank opens He went, what do you mean? No, we're going to the bank. You're gonna walk in with me We're gonna cast this check because I ain't gonna open no fucking account. I need to fucking cash Remember that remember the molasses trying to give you a check in santa maria I will shove you up to your brothers ass if I don't get a fucking cash I was pissed. I was pissed. They weren't they're nice guys. I talk to you all the time on the phone

He's a fucking gentleman. I need a cash, bro. Like I know we all lived off a cash And I've been working at dodger stadium at the time fucking oh, man My blood would boil in those days if I already called julie and said lee I got a gig and eighth Worst case scenario. I'll be out there 10 30. I'll be by your house 1115. Make sure you're there with that fucking coke If I already told you that and I went down to Felipe's and he gave me a check My blood would fucking boil Because that would slow me down completely. That means I have to go to fucking hallywood and wilcox Park the car walk all the way around get a ticket

Try to cast a check get the ticket validated Go back. Are you fucking crazy 1130 man? You're ready to snort that coke and I'm parking driving on hollywood boulevard on wilcox Getting caught in fucking traffic on a saturday night My blood would boil me too man open to 2010 If you booked me at a show You had to be there at the hotel room and you had to put your own fucking name And you had to put your own credit card. I had none of that shit

I had no debit card. I couldn't I couldn't put up the part that no hotel So every time I did a show The promoter had to check me into the hotel because I had no credit card I had no debit me neither. So the hotel was always on the promoter's name for years I checked with the hotel with Joe Rogan And he would put his card down for me Me too, man. If you go if you're fucking charged born on he'll kill you And then you go, I don't look at the account anyway, so don't worry about it

But I wouldn't have a charge anything but that's I wasn't the same boat as you dog I didn't have an ATM card for years and if I did it was always minus It didn't matter then I got an ATM card and I kept it afloat That always had like 31 20 in it 28 50, you know what I'm saying like those numbers like I always had less than 40 dollars And more than 20, you know, I had a check cashing card From where from I don't know if it was nicks or one of the major ones And I used to catch my checks. No, I had one too. I got I remember struggling

I'm still on file. I'm going to yeah, I will go to the one I will catch my check at the one right there in south central the one the last one they have before the airport And I'll try to get my cash my check to just to have enough money to go to my next gig and um eat All right, actually, um, I will I went one time I had to catch my check at a one of the check cashing plays with Lisa my wife And as soon as I catch my check, I just handed her the money right there So she could go run and buy get a a fucking Pay the rent man

I was paying I was giving her the check right before I was flying out to pay the rent But luckily we don't have to worry about that right now Listen man, you should be very proud of yourself very bang up You know the other day I was at the dodge game with my daughter and a bunch of kids And I thought about you and I thought about I saw the guys selling hot dogs and selling ice cream Then I thought about you and I showed you what seats I were in they were all the way in the top With their $15 seats And they were enjoyable, but you really can't see the fucking field when you're an old man like me

They look how well you can't even see the ball and they got no fucking teleprompter that no They got no and you can't see you're fucked at dodgers stadium jack. Yeah, you look at down at the game Yeah, you're only looking at the fucking teleprompter for an instant replay. Yeah, besides that there's no teleprompter So I saw these guys delivering sodas and hot dogs with ice cream And I said fucking Felipe was doing this 30 years ago as a kid I was selling souvenirs, bro. Super fucking souvenirs get your programs Penance Dodger koala

And I go right now after his special on HBO. He's gonna be one of the biggest comics in the world. It started right here Who knows he knows where this is his county first developed It was like me going to prison. That's where you develop the toughness to talk and yell out into a crowd and you know But listen, man, I want the church family to if you don't have HBO How do you go to HBO to go anybody league? On your phone. Yeah, you do it on any mobile device You could do it on TVs and then they like you can do it without a tv provider It's like 20 dollars for a mother. I think you can do like, uh, you know, even a shorter period of time

Listen, you know what? It's time you start watching it. It's worth it. Anyway, so you might do this is good You might as well watch Felipe special So I sign up and watch the deuce And you got fucking Bill Ma and you got a bunch of other shit on HBO. That's fucking tremendous. Don't believe that bro HBO still fucking good. I watch HBO a lot. I got that HBO packing to find these two things I watch HBO fucking a lot a lot more than I watch anything. I watch Silicon Valley Support my brother. Yeah, my wife watches and secure. Come on. Get it together. HBO still fucking throw and eat. All right Saturday night 10 o'clock

Check your local fucking listings. This is my brother. I'm talking to you about I we talked about our history. So you motherfuckers know This is real. This is two guys who came up together addictions You know, we we could be until two in the morning just depressing it. I don't want you to think about getting depressed I want you to think about your possibilities that we were in the hole we were in Yeah, man, you could do whatever you want, man. Listen, I'm not where he's at. This is HBO. This is gold But this guy here this guy's the guy you should be watching

Do me that favor Felipe sparser number two Do not forget Pittsburgh Improv Saturday late night is sold out already. You got four shows. Don't fuck around Don't call me going joey. There's no time. I've I told you fucking Wednesday on the podcast And I told you fucking Monday with Jim Norton. Don't fuck with me. All right. Listen, uh, number two For all your supplements our days are coming the new year. You're gonna make resolutions whatnot But I've been by the boom by the boom. I don't want to hear it. You having problems lately. Yeah, you're getting a little older You think alpha brain give it a shot If you don't like it, you would you don't even have to return it to give you 100 money back guarantee

You like the alpha brain. You're thinking about lifting boom and porous protein beautiful digest and easy nice the best chocolate you've ever tasted two scoops with water A couple ice cubes your fucking brand new maybe a banana something like that to carve up You don't have no fucking idea how you're living. You understand me The strong bone the fucking shroom tech sport and the shroom tech immune if you're a fucking traveler or something I travel jack You know, you don't hate me coming in here all fucked up every fucking week That's because I take care of myself

And I fucking take the shroom tech immune So just in case I got fucking weird people around me. I don't catch the malook. They got you understand me Who knows where they've been so called. I mean somewhere Or doing dirty shit. My point is go to honor doc time right now Go to honor right now. Take a look at the great supplements they have from the fucking turkey meat beef sticks It's on it's on

Go to honor take a look at what they got If you like something go to the box and press in church Boom ch u r ch get 10 percent off to live it to your motherfucking house. Okay, and don't forget his football season Go to my bookie ag They'll match Whatever the fuck you throw in there. Okay, who's better than them? What's the code for them? I believe it's church that boom there you go And that's how we're rolling and we love you motherfuckers

Have a great fucking weekend and we'll talk to you motherfuckers next monday Do not forget my brother Felipe Sparza hb fucking old saturday I need for your people to fucking join on friday. Yeah, man And then do what fucking black people do with the suit after a wedding they bring it back on monday And say it didn't fit say you don't like it. I don't know no be a decent american join hb I'll get them for the holidays. What do you got? I got my dates for october. Can I mention them? Absolutely I'm gonna be at zany's in nashville. Oh, shit next week club. They got weed over there

Hey, I got weed everywhere, bro. All right, and then the following the same week. I'm also doing huntsville, alabama That's a good one. So you do zany's on wednesday and huntsville thursday friday. Yes, you're beautiful So if everything goes right, I'm gonna be at the edmonton Alberta canada the following week at the I think it's called a punchline in edmonton beautiful in canada She's a canadian motherfuckers go check it out. I'm bringing Rodrigo Torres. So watch out silent We might do a canadian podcast over there And i'm doing the Humphreys by the bay in san diego california

This is all in october and the following day. I'm doing reno the silver legacy casino Get all the information on Philippa's world.com also I'm glad to mention that i'm gonna release my album the company special on a vinyl You know, I think you know the fans is a vinyl. Yeah, it'll be on vinyl beautiful. It'll be released on November 30 It'll be a double album Double double record album because under one hour. So we got split up in 15 minutes each side So it's gonna be a collector's item, you know, it also come with a little um

One of the little things when you get the coming out of what they call A little chip or whatever Oh a usb a usb Yes, it'll be a collector's item album November 30 and then um right after the following day after the special airs. It'll be on everywhere HBO sbo go hb latino and maybe you could order an amazon. I don't know there you go cucksuckers all in one fucking thing All right, I'll see you motherfuckers in pittsburgh or next week. Thank you very much for having a podcast Thank you. Um

Show you what's happening listener for supporting me even when i'm not a podcast and asking me when are you gonna be on the podcast? That's right. So i'm only i'm only i'm only done and i'm also um anybody who's out there from um the church church of the what happened in family and um And you're the one you're the one that red band has His people though. He's got my back too, man. You got it, brother. Yeah, man. That's what that's what niceville That's what montreal. You know what's up my brother stay black. Cucksuckers. Have a great weekend hit it league Thank you very much a little heck to la vol off What was the rest of man? Whatever the fuck it is. This is a tremendous song

Kaleel another fucking jam. I'm gonna turn it over. Let's do for that Mama Y eso sí, da que pensar, odio a todos los que aman, y que felices están, porque yo no puedo tener. Un amorcito que me comprenda, y que me diga papi, y que me quiera bien. Dios mío ayúdame, quiero olvidar. Ayúdame, ayúdame, ayúdame, olvidala te lo pido, ayúdame, ay que yo la quiero tanto. Y no, y no la quiero perder. El problema con Mariana, el que se encontró mi pana, y yo que me la pasaba gozando de la noche a la mañana.

Ramón Puntilla la quería, Ramón Puntilla gritaba. El problema con Mariana, el que se encontró mi pana. Ayúdame, ayúdame, ayúdame, ayúdame, olvidarla. El problema con Mariana, el que se encontró mi pana. Y se pasaba prendiendo velitas, nodititas las mañanas. El problema con Mariana, el que se encontró mi pana. Huea Willy. Que lío, que lío, que lío, que lío, que lío.

El problema con Mariana, el que se encontró mi pana.