Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #522 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: October 5, 2017

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio and Joey tells Lee about the close relationship he had with his friend's grandmother and why she meant so much to him. Joey also tells us a story about his friend and boss in prison, Chicken Hawk. This podcast is brought to you by:  Meundies.com - Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order and free shipping.   My Bookie - Join now and MYBookie will match your deposit with up to a 100% bonus of your first deposit up to $1,000. www.mybookie.ag. Use Promo code CHURCH to activate the offer.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 10/04/2017.

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Kick this motherfucking muley Oh shit Wednesday the fourth I Showed you what's happened now old school the Christ killer and Uncle Joey cops up Are you fucking kidding me kick that muley Oh Shit

Oh shit Are you fucking kidding me or what a little old school Cinderella for you motherfuckers it's Wednesday October 4th It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive My one of my best friends in life call me today and inform me that his grandma died and to be honest with you guys She's the closest thing I've ever had to a grandma So when I woke up this morning, I saw the miss call and you know when you look at a miss call And you look at what time it came in and you know, it's not good Because you know what time people usually call me you he calls me 8 39

But for him to call me at 6 15. I knew it was her and I remember I did a bunch of I knew she was dead They put her in a an old folks home about three months ago and they You know, she was just she's 90 something, you know, and she was kind of crazy and shit, and that's why I love the bottle but uh Yeah, my condolences to his family and I felt like shit all day because You know, I love you guys, but I shouldn't be doing a podcast with you. I should be in New York with George At his house and it's funny because somebody gave me a bottle of that ass water That fucking what's that champagne that all these fucking gentiles? Oh, I'm pairing fucking dick

If you've ever drank that shit now my mother champagne person. It's tastes like dick I like cheap champagne the apple juice and it whatever the fuck, you know, this is the worst thing in the world but They took me in I knew George since my sophomore Going into I knew George before my mother died And he was from close-sight Park and I was from North Bergen and we kept in touch on the phone And then he started dating a girl I knew in North Bergen He would give her a little stab him from time to time and I would communicate to him through her and then I lost

Contact with him for like a year or two and then we reconnected in 84. I got arrested in Bergen County He bailed me out and he told me I could stay with his parents or his mom and his grandma They lived on Inwood Terrace where Jim Norton and Jimmy Florentine. Oh, wow used to live And I stayed with them for six months the first time and it was it slowed me down a little bit They never made me feel bad about living there. You know, I always worked. I always fixed my bed in the morning I gave them money. I gave grandma money for bingo. That was my deal to give her 40 bucks for bingo Once a week plus rent She'd cook for me, you know, it was a great relationship. They took care of me like one of their own

There's something special about grandma's. No, no, she was always tight and just her sense of humor. She hated fucking Cuba She said Cuba was a fucking death trap that it was that there was a sin The reason why the country was a piece of shit now Because they had a good time there for a long time But that was the borderline for the slaves so they put a fucking voodoo on the country Did that offend you at all? No, I don't give a fuck when people talk. She's my grandma I give a fuck, you know, and then I left in 85 I always kept in touch with him as a matter of fact George came out to Colorado in 87

Lid with me talk. I got arrested for the kidnapping. He stayed with me for a little while came out for the court case for me to get sentenced 91 when I got divorced and I was down and out I went back and stayed with him. He was junked up and grandma As bad as I was feeling in those days. That was the first time I was away from my Daughter and that was the first time I'd been away from Boulder And I'll tell you being in North Bergen was great and doing comedy for the first couple That was my second year of comedy when I moved back with George in Jersey I drove a limo and I went back to New York and I

I did comedy I would go to to do comedy at night for fucking three minutes just to get abused I mean, I was just getting abused guys So right now if you fucking getting abused you're doing comedy or you're starting law school Or you're doing anything and you just started and you feel like you're getting abused think of me when you're getting abused I got it was an abusing Guys, it was abuse You know, that's why whenever I see comics and they're young I try to get my hug of sympathize Because I know what the fuck they're going through

But with all that going on and the abuse from my ex-wife and not talking to my child and all this shit Grandma was who kept me together and I'm not saying she wasn't it wasn't amazing But she probably it wasn't probably anything too big, right? It was like maybe a sandwich Little thing she talked to me at night. I had one shirt. I was snorting so much coke in those days I had one fucking white college shirt So I would take it off wash it every night and she would iron it for me and I'd wear it the next morning That fucking shirt was gray. You couldn't bleach it anymore. It was so fucking old. Did you have to ask her to iron it? I'm sure she just did it. Yeah, I just give her money for bingo and stuff, you know, but

Before all that happened like April of 85 I was living with them and I was working for this fucking dude Like I had I had no jobs. I had nothing going on and I was just picking up day labor. Is that what you call it day labor? Yeah, so I was working for this guy. His name was John. He was a real fucking prick He abused me too. This is 84. This is before comedy. I'm taking you back like Eight years. This guy was a fucking scumbag So he would tell me to meet him at seven at the diner. Okay, I would go up there I would eat and then he wouldn't pay for breakfast and then he would sit there till 8 39

And then he would only pay me from 9 o'clock on he wouldn't pay me for windshield time You know, we clocked out at 3 he would pay me to 3 even if it took two hours to get home The guy was just a scumbag and I needed to fucking work like I needed to fucking work and it wasn't bad It was four days a week. I helped him carry woods wet something small like the way Yeah, little things. Yeah, little difference. He would he would not give me a check He would say he forgot it on Friday. I was tapped out. I had to pay rent You know, I had to pay grandma money for fucking bingo and this fucking guy would tell me He had no check on him and shit. He was a real piece of shit

So I knew where he lived in one Friday One Thursday night this fucking douchebag tells me he's gone away for the weekend and that was the weekend He ran away without paying me So I went to listen He gave you t-shirts to wear on his jobs if you didn't wear the t-shirts He'd find you $10 if your t-shirt wasn't washed like just dumb shit. He was just a scumbag So I said fuck this motherfucker How long did it make you to take you to make that decision to rob him? Like he tells you he's gonna be gone for the weekend

But you knew me, you know me, you know me That's why I love you. That's why I love you. I just imagine like you saying like he's gonna be gone for the weekend No, no, no when I went to meet him That morning he said I'll meet you Thursday morning at the fucking diner So I had to get like a cab to drive me to this fucking diner and then he's not there I eat breakfast at my last 20 Now I gotta walk halfway fucking home because I don't have to hold the money and then call a cab I gotta walk like six miles and call a cab. Oh, no. So now I'm fucking furious. I

Got no dough. No prospects. I go, you know, I'm doing the mom one. I'm getting up and I'm going over to his fucking house And I went over to his fucking house Now I had never drank Dom Perignon and I knew about Dom Perignon because one time my buddies robbed a truck Like they had like a fucking delivery truck. I don't know what they robbed They robbed something and they gave me like three bottles and I gave them away. I didn't know I sold two of them to a liquor store The ones they give you in a box, right? They're in a box. Yeah, I think so. So yeah, it was in a box How do you sell it to the liquor store? Listen, I got two of these. What do you sell them for 129? I give it to you for 60

I got two of them here. Give me 130 for the whole week. This is 60. I'm sorry. Give me 65 And ain't that broke people buy anything Do you walk into the any liquor store with a case that's closed and they open in front of you and you tell them I'll give you an old saying on this. I'll give you 50 percent. Oh Watch don't get the cash out of the back Because that's what people do that. That's a case of booze they sell That they buy the bottle less than wholesale they buy if I have to find someone where the owner is running the cash register It's 2017. They're all fucking kinky flux

You have to assume that going in that's how when you deliver the speech to them You have to assume like they're on the other side. They know what fucking time is going in Okay, so you you have this the dumping on so I know no I go to the guy's house, right? I can't get in there. I got to be creative. So I just bust through a fucking window like a superhero I go in I climb in there. I got all the time in the world He even took the dog with him that dumb fuck I got all the time in the world and I just went through his fucking house I think I've made eggs, you know when I would burglarize you and I knew you weren't coming back

I always make some type of sandwich. I always hear them on the news pee in your toilet something Now you can't do that because they'll get your dna from the pee So fucking uh, I found like couple yardsticks couple hundred dollars I found a little weed and he had like his Those anniversary things when people give you for anniversary some, you know, like a bunch of bottles of Dom Perignon I thought that would bother him more in the cash. I took every bottle of Dom that motherfucker had He had like 13 bottles of big Dom in a box I took I took them to one guy. I knew I dumped every fucking bottle. I kept one for me

Just to see what all the bullshit was about and me grandma and george Drank that carafe. It wasn't even a regular bottle. It was a carafe wrap. Oh my god. So they're even more expensive They're like two something back then back then they were even more expensive. They're like the two on a bottle So me george and grandma got in that living room and we drank the whole motherfucking bottle Of of Dom Perignon. Could grandma I'll drink you guys. Nah, she was having a great time We put on music just me her and grandma we danced and then about 10 o'clock. Well, this is all unplanned I took the money I robbed and I took george, grandma and me to pick a lisimo for lobster fucking fraud diablo And it was just magnet. Listen

She would still bring that night up in 1993 Now she wouldn't bring it up because she didn't remember it But she always told me that was one of the best nights I ever had She got home from bingo. We got a tipsy as shit And then we took her for lobster at the fucking pick a lisimo in faultly, new jersey Are you kidding me? So that's all I kept thinking about today That memory that night I I saw it vividly about us dancing in the living room and us giggling And I would go outside and smoke pot and I would come in and she go look at you

Eek, eek, because that's what she would call marijuana. Eek, eek. She'd always go you outside. Eek, eek So we're like, how did you explain to her about the champagne and the dinner? A friend gave it to me and I worked for the money. She did not explain nothing The least you say the fucking better it is in your life And I gotta tell you something people you guys come up to me after shows Some people give me hugs and there's some people look me in the eye and go hey, uh Thank you for helping me guess what guys were even By you guys just let me tell this story. I got happy

Like this is what I was waiting for all day this fucking podcast tonight because I had so much The last couple days have just been well for everybody the last two months I've really been an emotional toll for everybody if you have any empathy at all in your fucking body You know Yeah, what was first houston. Yeah, then florida You know fucking cuba for two weeks. I couldn't get a hold of my sister You know, it's just been a fucking nightmare and then Lindsay got the cancer Then fucking uh, you know

It they're happening so often now that we forget about them forget about like like If someone brought it up the other day like when the hurricanes were happening does flint really still not have water Does flint really still not have water? They don't give a fuck. That's so listen monday morning when I looked at that las vegas thing Yeah, I go Puerto Rico's fucked Because this is gonna trump Puerto Rico. This is bigger than Puerto Rico 50-something people dying And I don't know how many people get injured. This is bigger than Puerto Rico. So there you go The the the laser the what do they call it the eye isn't over Puerto Rico no more, right? It's just not it's over las vegas

I mean, it's wednesday night if you turn on cnn They're still they're still in las vegas. I mean, there's gonna be a huge fight there this weekend Yeah, by tomorrow everybody starts to fly in Friday they really fly in and fucking I don't know what the what the mandalay bay is gonna do like they might have to close off that entire floor I would bet I wouldn't even want to stay at the mandalay bay Right now at this point. I love that hotel. So listen, I love that hotel

But the last couple times I've stayed there it hasn't been too kosher really Hasn't been too kosher. That's what they used to have the fights, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it hasn't been too kosher. Especially if you go down after midnight That's always when I'm down especially if you go down after one or two It's a little on the scary side down there. You can see that there's a lot of people Looking the fucking uh, you know, I bought you looking to get somebody. It's a scary situation I've been in those places and it's scary. You were talking about uh before about paying attention And that like the thing that scares me the most now is just the cars

As terrible as it sounds like obviously guns terrible But like it happened in Edmonton like the night before vegas. I got to get you whole Guys, I gotta explain so I don't want to walk down vegas street. I love you very much If you listen to this show and if we don't listen to this show, we know anything about me I'm not fucked up dude, but I got a lot of heart man and uh One thing about me is All those years as a young kid in union city my mother had that bar So I was the unofficial lookout

Do you know what that meant? That meant that whenever I went to the movies, okay, I'm the walk back already I knew When I got three blocks of my mother's bar to start looking around for suspicious cars Okay, a guy sitting in a car by himself A guy in an unmarked car car You know two cop cars together three cop cars together having coffee. That means something's about to go down Okay, and when your mom asked you when you got back, you know, I would say to me

Oh, okay, something's going on up the corner. There's a cop car up there. You know what I'm saying? Just so they had their heads up, you know, when I was a kid I'm trying to write this thing to sell a tv show to sell about How my mom came from cuba and then she fucking Uh, you know met a Puerto Rican girl and they got into bookmaking together and then my mom went back But she was out doing since there was two girls taking numbers They were out doing the big bookie guy in that neighborhood So the guy who was taking their action gave my mother and the Puerto Rican girl a spot

Their own spot. So that's how my mom got into numbers Then she met my dad and fucking my dad Financed her own bank and her going another guy started a bank and my mother never stopped with the numbers instead The beautiful part of this is that when I was born and all that I was born into that So sometimes on saturdays my mom would go we got up to the Bronx To the bank And I didn't like it at first, but then every time I went I would get 40 or 50 bucks When you're five and six

And somebody gives you 40 fucking bucks and a doll is three dollars. That's a lot of money And like did they treat you as a child? Like did what did you know what it was that you're oh, I knew exactly what it was When I was five six seven, you know, I have Julio Rodriguez calling here. He's my cousin. He's the the jujitsu teacher in linhurst He owns anaconda jujitsu in linhurst His younger brother Gio who's dead now god rest his soul and me We must have been eight Okay, and every saturday when I got out of chemo when I got thrown out of catholic school

It started before I got thrown out of catholic school So I would go out on friday nights. I would go to the movies on friday and saturday morning I'd have to meet those guys. I was like either nine And I'd have to meet those dudes to go over the city And me and gio would run We would go for coffee. We'd go for buns But then after 12 me and gio were basically runners Or we picked up different numbers from different banks around the area within a five or six block distance

That's what we did. We were runners so When you're a runner, that's why they pay you to keep your fucking eyes open Keep your eyes on doesn't you see something that's out of place you fucking say it Would they would they give you any money if you caught something? No They would pay me for the day. They would give me 50 fucking dollars for the day to eat sandwiches And okay and light fire crackers and hang out in the corner with a bunch of other fucking dirty kids I was even gonna talk. I asked you about this tonight. Like I feel like now

There's a big difference between being a kid and being an adult I think there's a it's a it's a very big jump Back then it like I can't like now that would be stressful Like I can't imagine being five or six and being a runner in new york city Like michael jackson michael jackson's biggest complaint was they didn't have a childhood Right. There's a lot of times that I sit here. I don't think I had a lot of childhood. It doesn't sound like that's why I always Went to people older than me I never hung out with kids my age

I always hung out with people older than me when I was 10 I hung out with 13 year olds. Yeah 13 hung out with 16 year olds I didn't like it because I was used I was always used up being around older people You know, I didn't go to any daycare. I don't remember going to daycare I do remember being in kindergarten. I remember being in the first grade second grade and all that stuff if I wasn't At school I was at home and what do you think they talk about when you're home? They talk about your school and all that shit when they're talking amongst themselves And they're on the phone. They're talking about their business, which was numbers, right? I just I

Think back I think about the stories you tell and I try to think back if If like I remember certain things, but I don't even know and I notice myself whenever I deal with kids now It's not it's not a fake But there's a persona you put on you're trying to be happy try to do this and that And I can't imagine like as I got older my dad would talk about he like certain things with his work or something but as a kid Like I think even if I had kids I would make an effort to not let them see that stuff

Let's say I was at my mom's boss and my mom called me over some And she'd give me a kiss and we'd talk about something Like I'd be watching mickey mouse or little rascals or I was a big tv guy as a kid to learn the language When you're talking about any of that shit when you're watching that my mom would come over and talk to me And then she would give me like a lesson for the day You know like hey if anybody comes to you and tries to give you candy tell them to go fuck themselves You know if somebody opens up the door and tells you to get in the car tell them to go fuck themselves You know

My mom was one of those people always that I was always getting a tidbit. She'd always take me outside He said a fucking guy. He's a piece of shit Talk to that fucking guy, you know There was always something with her. She was very blunt and agile. What do you mean? Like I would try to argue with her And she'd go don't even fucking argue because I was a piece of shit He's a piece of shit Don't talk to if he comes up to you kick him in the leg real fucking hard and run away

You know like my mom always had a piece of tidbit No matter what we were doing. There was always a lesson, you know There was always a lesson somewhere for me growing up I liked hanging out With adults I liked that that feeling It felt like I had something over kids when I was hanging out with them Yeah, I felt cool like I was not that I felt cool not you but it like it I always felt so insecure about my Being an immigrant. I always felt so insecure about

Not being smart, you know, like whatever. Okay, so that was my hook that I knew about the world You know, that was my hook that I knew about the world and what was really going on The kids I hung out with in Manhattan growing up were really nice kids like you Now I go up to 148th Street and I met my match These kids all raised like me Because they're poor That mentality was still there where you know, you just You didn't you these kids didn't go to Yankee games

These kids didn't go to met games like me if you took one of those kids at the age of six To a met game they would kill for you for the rest of their lives They would kill for you Because you're providing that dream that their parents can't Do you know something there was a lawn order on with uh, I think it's Michael and periola. It's somebody who's popular That he plays a coach at like one of those boys houses, you know, like uh The boys club in Manhattan And he's telling them all that he's going to build the house up in the mountains

And they're gonna have shooting ranges and this and that and the horses and And the when you're a kid, that's a fucking and you're in that type of you grew up in that type of element 140 like I always talk about the sedanios. Let's let's just focus on the sedanios. Okay I love the sedanios. They had a brother named Ricky And they've had a brother named nelson But beside that there was nine of them and they had an older sister Named nine kids. Yeah, look up

Riders of the purple sage Her name was Nancy sedanio wikipedia And she the list of background singers over the year Nancy sedanio was on two albums She was a hot Puerto rican check up on 148th street Now when I grew up with ricky and nelson, it was a band riders of the purple. Yeah new riders of the new riders of the purple Sage, okay They were like a spin-off. I don't know what like a like a bob dillish type shit hippie ish

You know, this is 1970 1969 1968 when I'm running with these kids So No, you know nelson sedanio ricky sedanio, you know, I can't remember the rest of the other kids There was a jewish kid That his parents owned something on the block like a night store or something. Okay He was a tough kid There was a black kid in that neighborhood that ran with us I don't remember his name and there was like a blonde head irish kid

That was tough And him and nelson would fight all the time and nelson was the oldest out of all of us So if i'm hanging out with these kids at six nelson's 10 And this other kid this irish kid was about eight and he would fucking Him and nelson would beat themselves up Two or three times a week Where I lived On 88th street. This was not nobody fought on that block. Right. Yeah. No, you know who fought on that block me

I gotta be that place if I rudy this Haitian kid Uh, we call them something. What did rudy do to you? Rudy the Haitian I forget what the fuck we called them rudy the Haitian rudy that some of them weren't that uh unique He me and rudy were good friends, but we used to fist fights in time at time and one day he fucking We got into a fight and his father held me While rudy punched me in the stomach and busted my lip open that the fuck

This had to be before this was before catholic school. Oh my god. This is what led my mother These were all the decisions that led my mother in the third grade To put me in catholic school and that was probably the father held you the father held my arms outside while the kid hit me So and the father took me upstairs Told my threatened my mother my mother chased him with a knife and then the cops came And we had to move out of there about two months later But oh my god You had to move we had to move they didn't evict us

They didn't evict us. They just said it's better if you guys start looking for a different place to live. Jesus christ But my point is no, no, don't worry about nirvana's approach stage. Oh, yeah, you can't find it. My point is that I was raised Doing that at an early age You know, like I said to you and timmy listens to this podcast and he'll vouch for me When you got in the car with roger if you were driving He didn't want to hear a word out of your fucking mouth near do I? If you're fucking driving don't say a fucking word. All right, just drive the fucking car

We don't want to hear a long story. We don't want you smoking though. We don't want you doing nothing Just drive the fucking car. We'll fill you in when we get that You are pretty specific when I'm driving. I don't like people fucking around when you're outside You see how I am when I'm not paying attention. Put your head up I never like this fucking phone and how people look at that fucking phone It drives me crazy And you made a good point before the podcast started. You know what I'm scared of cars too I'm fucking patrified of cars all these busy streets. See dog

The world chains again, not only the world chains America chains again on Monday. I know how people think And people like me fucking this scares me Monday, I was not all there Again, the podcast saved me that night with nick and the fucking pizza and those fucking bunsie brought with blue cheese in them Jesus Christ, but I was having a tough day Monday And I always feel like I'm not an empathetic person But I fucking am Because it affects me it affected me Monday

Like I didn't want to know dick. Yeah, I had a good time here, but even yesterday it affected me. I am trying to watch As least about this as I can too and the thing about being empathetic like you have to have empathy for the people who have these terrible things happen to them but At a certain point if you let all of this stuff in like that's why people are getting the depression from social media Like you can't you just can't Emotionally let all this stuff in is gonna get fucking ousted out of my life any day now. Yeah, I could feel it. I could feel it

and I'll tell you why because Especially facebook. Yeah, face facebook is just it's become a psychotherapist People just go there and post shit up and then they start into wars. I've never seen anything like that Yeah, I've never seen what gets posted on that. I never thought That I would come to the day like when you go In all your years, did you think there was going to be a medical marijuana store ever that you were going to walk into? It's the same thing

I thought all that stuff was for jollies and For us to have a good time, you know That's what I thought it was for for us to crack jokes and for us to say shit. They're throwing people off now They're throwing people off now that banning people they get pissed at people. It's become something different You know, it really has become something different. I think it's time to start a new fucking page For 18 and over where you could put people fucking getting jerked off in the face People getting shot. Let's like well stop hip-hop only you it's your page So if you want to show three chinese guys getting hit in the head with hammers

So be it if you want to show three black guys getting shot because you're into that so be it If you want to show three white guys get whatever the fuck you want But anyway, not to take away from I was gonna say you went the other way Yeah, well take away from what's going on here. I will tell you one thing ladies and gentlemen And after I say this to you, you know my stance on all the bullshit and everything but I will tell you this And like I said, I I just know Like I didn't watch world news tonight the last two nights I did that for a fucking reason because I don't want to take that. That's my favorite show

At 6 30, if you call me, you're not gonna get a hold of me The the phone is plugged in in a complete different room. I really don't care who calls When I'm watching world news tonight, I don't fuck around And there was a time when Diane Sawyer was on I was gonna say even without Diane If you called my house, that's when I would pick up the phone and tell you to go fuck your mother and hang up on you How dare you call me during Diane Sawyer? Anyway, uh I will tell you one thing ladies and gentlemen and uh

Something is not right You guys forget I'm a criminal before I got into this You guys forget that I had urges of killing three people In my life and had dreams about it and would fucking uh fantasize about it Without medication and without bullshit. I would just sit there and salivate. It was like coming When I was 21 and I was thinking of killing one It was like coming every night Same myself

You know walk down the street with tiptoeing and coming up to him and Shooting them in the leg and watching them drop to one leg and then shooting them in the back and you fantasize the whole thing Oh my god Oh my god, many a times Many a times I fantasized it And then after that one I thought who did I want to kill there was somebody else I want to go after And that was a fantasy of like three years And then it took me what it took me for 10 or 15 years

The fantasy of me killing my ex-wife and her fucking husband Were there in in my heart. I can't lie to nobody you want me to tell you they didn't exist Sure, they did Doesn't that sure they fucking did doesn't all that fantasizing about angry things make you angry Like were you an angry or person? Absolutely, absolutely Absolutely, it makes you an angry person And you know you got now you got a few cocaine in there

Because all these periods i'm telling you about when I fantasize killing people Cocaine was fucking there like a like a fucking gunpowder. You know what i'm saying So let's add that to the mix. There was no antidepressants or no bullshit like this I was putting cocaine into my body So I had thousands of fantasies guys Can you want me to lie to you and tell you I'm not that type of person and I had thousands of fantasies You know when you lose Something as important as a parent or something like this something that that's important to you

It could be a fucking doggie it could be a dog that pushes you over the top It could be a girl that you saw getting hit by a car You don't know how your body and your mind is going to react to this shit But for me on a personal level, I could tell you one thing That when I lost my mother within three or four years I had the hatred of fucking satan in my heart Which meant if I was sitting down and I saw you crossing the street Lee I would cheer for the car to hit you in the fucking leg and I didn't even know who you are

but When you take away religion from a man and belief And a piece of their soul They want everybody to suffer how they're suffering It's a childish way to think but that's how I thought at that time After I saw what I was doing and my behavior and how I was acting Then I shifted it over the years and now I don't want you to know about it Now I just want to go home and I want to hang out with you and hug my daughter and see the fucking cats and

Finish this game out to whatever this game is i'm 54. I don't know what the fuck I got left I did coke for 30 years. There's got to be a valve off the hook in there somewhere But at least i'm honest with myself I'm not I don't you don't see me out jumping up and down and gallivanting and being somebody i'm not Right, you know So Again, you know I think something went on in vegas. I don't think we're getting all the real story

Are you guys am I saying conspiracy theory don't even fucking say that you dumb fucks, you know, that's not what I believe But I believe something else. I don't know what it is Something isn't right and I don't know what it is I'm a criminal Yeah, if you go online, there's eight million Yes, no, and i'm not gonna go on but i'm not gonna go on and the issue is If if anything that's saying like it's a government conspiracy to kill its own citizen like In the back back back of my head, I know that it's a possibility

But I don't I don't want it to be Like and that's and that I guess you can't live that way and that's probably what a lot of people are just Getting mad about but I don't want to live in a in a world where someone's at like america's doing that I didn't say america league right? Well, yeah, i'm not even saying america I'm looking at it from just something doesn't seem right. I don't know what it is I can't put my finger on it You guys know me I just don't know what it is. I'm not saying america or cia i am

I don't even know what to think, you know, and you try to scroll on facebook to be Kind of sweet kind of a nice person and you see 20 different Things and you leaked this that you know My big thing is Okay, so you rent the room you bust the window right? And you shot people for 10 minutes How many guns are they having a room at least 30? I think right? No, he had

18 19 In a couple handguns and shit. He put a peephole. He put a camera in his peephole He put a camera in his uh room service dish Cart yeah the cart and he put a baby commander In the living room So they could he could watch while he was also supposed to tape himself Now wait, this was my only question here. You just shot A 2200, you know, whatever

Thank you. I don't know how many rounds don't don't you know, please right again. I mean rounds But I do know one thing at that point wouldn't you shoot it out with the fucking cops? You think so or just keep going out the window or something because he did stop I see how he just stopped at 1015 and shot himself I Don't understand it. So that those I have Three or four those I don't want to turn the podcast into something it isn't But uh, again my fucking hearts and prayers go out to these victims and I hope that

We find an answer, you know, and and just from being at the coffee shop today. I heard people Next to me. It was two nice women and they were talking about gun advocacy and all this shit and Guess what motherfuckers If you were at that concert Sunday Lee And you lived right you made it back to your house and you hugged paula And you sat down and you said joy. I'm taking a week off But what are you gonna do next you're thinking about buying a gun aren't you and that's not ever gonna happen to you again And you're gonna start thinking about paul and you're gonna start thinking about your mother

You're gonna start thinking about dicky sciat right and how many things they go to and you're gonna start thinking about this shit This changes you Guess what? Whether it's the next day or within 60 days, you're gonna buy a pistol Because you're never gonna want to be put in that position again. I wonder how many applications were filed for guns the last two days Probably a lot, but that's and what we talked. I think we talked about this last year or something around this

something happened and guns have always scared me and I know people have a lot of emotional attachment to their guns for reasons For hunting for reasons just failing whatever their reasons are Well, I'll tell you what if if one day you and paul are walking down the fucking street, right? And two kids come up to you and they put a gun to your neck And they take your wallet and the kid takes paul's wallet

Right and before he leaves he smacks her in the face and she goes down and her glasses break, right? Let me ask you something How are you gonna feel as an american? You know, how are you gonna feel as a human being? Okay, terrible. Okay, awful But why did why can this guy for 200 dollars buy something that turns his gun into an automatic? Well, no, no, let's just talk about the donation. Forget about the next step The next step easy smack paula paula goes down, right? Okay, you're gonna go home and you're gonna go through a bunch of emotions and so is paula, right? One of the motions you're gonna go through is maybe I should go back to crowd my god

Yeah, right because cop my god guys could disarm a motherfucker You know, you one of my point is is you never want it to happen again. No You never want that to happen again. Now you have to deal with paul, you know paul is a sweet girl If you got kicked in the stomach, it ain't no big deal You wrestled in high school. You fuck around with us I don't want to get kicked they punch at the comedy store from time to time tea or something Paul is not used to getting kicked neither is my wife Neither are the wives of people listening to this podcast right now the men listen to this podcast

So my point is if this happened to you within how many days do you think you're gonna figure out your next move for protection? immediately, okay Is it a karate class? Is it a jujitsu class? Is it a boxing class? Is it a technique? Is it a tactical class where you learn how to fire weapons and will you probably buy a weapon for the next time? As much as you hate a gun because you hate a gun because you have no knowledge of a gun and they scare you Once you get knowledge of a gun and what a gun could do But these are the people that go, you know your death wish. What is death wish about?

A guy they rob his fucking house. They rape his wife and his daughter becomes a momo He goes to arizona to stay with to build the project And while he's down there the dude takes him to shoot And he knows he's heartbroken on the way back. He throws a piece in this luggage And he goes i put a little something there for you For when you get back to new york, right? Charles Bronson gets back to new york opens up that fucking suitcase And looks in that goddamn thing. That's a fucking piece and a half

And he started shooting people two nights later. You understand me and he was an engineer. No, he was an architect Paul cursey. He was an architect in that movie But these are just how many fucking movies are surrounded around somebody getting killed And fucking all of a sudden who's the sick taken? All of a sudden he becomes fucking johnny seal and he gets weapons and lockers and he's shooting people He was all he was ex seal whatever whatever he was But no, yeah, I mean, it's those are a lot of movies and I get I get that urge But

I mean if you want I do you want to take it to the next I mean people are gonna get mad Regardless of what of what you say behalf of the people gonna get mad. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not listen. I'm not saying that It's a time to buy a gun. It's not the time everybody has their own It isn't and it's not at the same time Everybody I am not gonna sit in the room and argue with somebody about guns Because everybody's different. Exactly. Yeah, everybody's different The automatic thing. Yes, you have to ban all that stuff and give 30 years in possessions Automatic time, you know guaranteed time whatever it's called. Yeah, uh, whatever it's closed off. Yeah, you they catch you

It's automatic 25 years. No plea bargain. No nothing You know, you start impending those sentences with a $50,000 fine, whatever. I don't fucking know I don't know and then they said he had like 30. He had 30 guns, right 30 guns So like 40 all together 19 or something there and 20 something at the house so flip-flopped But all was 40 fucking handguns. Listen, we all know that if you got a heartbeat you could buy a gun And your records clean you could buy a gun or You could pay somebody

And give them and they'll buy the guns for you. It's the same thing. No big fucking deal There's always a way to get a gun. That's the sad thing in american society You could always buy a gun You could have four guns you could have Two to the register and two to the dirty just in case shit goes down. You got to shoot a motherfucker and put a gun in his hand You know what what that you don't think there's people who walked right? What is the thing? Isn't there like did you ever see anything about that fucking jew in new york that we're shooting people?

No, not the dude who was listening to the dog The other one that was bernie workowitz, right the first guy that was listening to the dog somewhere sam Sam burkowitz, okay, which if I put a little wig on you, you look a little like him Maybe I have him summer incarnated. He's like, no, he's still alive. I think okay. No, no one of them Uh, and then you had the guy before him gets Did you ever see benard gets? The name sounds familiar, but I can't on youtube bernard get into view bernard gets

T Z I think one of those combinations I think that was the name of the guy who did the fucking shit in the city in 1977 Why would a harmless guy like this? Subway vigilante, yes What what was he visualizing? What was he the oh this motherfucker? Went on a roll like an hour and 20 minutes. No, no, but let's see if he just there's got to be short ones

Yeah, let me find one youtube now. You know his name. Just put it. There's gotta be like a two minute one I just want you to show him. He said something that was so fucked up They said why just shoot the other guy or something because he was breathing like he was fucking because why do you think? When they interview him, he tells you I've been mugged four times. That was one of the worst times ever in new york city That was one of the worst times ever in new york city Well, how long was he out there for? Look him. He looked like ari and he Look look go up but I guess if I had more bullets, I would have I would have shot them all over again

Look at this shit. Listen to this shit. This is what happens Look at Ari If you don't know about this go to bernhardt gets On youtube if I had more bullets, I would have shot them all again and again. Look at this guy. What's he waley? 120 you're gonna click it on some I would have shot them all again and again You know my problem is I ran out of bullets and I was gonna I was gonna gouge one of the guys eyes out with my keys afterwards You you you can't understand this. I know you can't understand this. That's fine

The reason the only reason I didn't do it is because he changed his look He had changed his look. You'll understand if you hear us If you have it you're gonna hear I'm sorry. I know they're gonna give you a copy of the tape won't they? Won't they? Probably. Okay, of course they won't. Of course they won't. I know. Yeah, okay It's it's Do I have to go to the street? Do you want to hear one more time? what

What? Oh my god He just didn't give a fuck. He didn't give a fuck But his background was something crazy like something had happened to him and yeah, it looks like he was here He had been bullied or something. You know these motherfuckers Go ahead. He's crazy. There's another one. You seem to be doing all right. There's another This is how crazy this guy got I

And They were taken care of it. It's all very cold blooded in the sun. This is gonna offend everyone I went back To the other two to check on that And the fellow who was standing up, I was sure I shot it was fine I want to give an anti-moss answer. I want to know if I missed but I went I went to him the second time And I looked at him

He can't verify this because he was probably at it by then if I had shot him or he wasn't I don't know And I said you seem to be doing all right. Here's another Oh my god This is when you get bullied and the guy just snapped. Yeah, see but I guess death wish in real life. This is You know, I'm basing what I'm having a conversation with you about about things that I've seen You know and there's been a thousand movies made about it. Were you ever in prison with someone who just snapped? Now at the prison one of the scariest guys in there Was a guy called Spencer Antoine

And his nemesis was graveyard He was a part of a leader of a different little black group. Okay Antoine chickenhawk Had a bigger black following And he had the kitchen. So there's chickenhawk or in graveyard graveyard And chickenhawk and spent Antoine Spencer Antoine is chickenhawk. Gotcha Spencer Antoine is chickenhawk. Gotcha and his two lieutenants were a skinny dude from Memphis

Who was fucking hysterical and I forget the other guy Oh B from Buffalo And this guy was six foot six Big, you know, not muscular. He didn't win no misto olympia or nothing But he would pick you up through a fucking neck and he was in there for

somersault and chickenhawk was in there for In voluntary manslaughter, but it was really Murdered too He And I became friends with him. You don't ask people what they're in jail for But I became friends with him. He was my boss in the kitchen I hung out with him a lot man. I really liked him

Like he was some new Orleans and he was he had a gold tooth and shit Okay, and he had an eye that fucking like floated And the hotter he was The more the eye would float and the the the pack what I never talked about Which this is classic shit The pack every day the main crew at the library Was me chickenhawk And the guy from buffalo who killed his wife and the mailman

Right, so he was that wasn't b No, no, that wasn't b. This was a white dude That again was like arie. You know very He read a lot of books. He rolled his own cigarettes He wore like nerdy glasses before they were cool In 1988 when I was in that and the morning shift in that library Was me and twine and this fucking librarian

And you know, we were in there from 9 30 to 11 30 And it would start on politics, but then it would end on murder And how he killed this one and this won't kill this one now, you know, you don't just start fucking killing You know I'm saying like this guy had piped somebody And put them in the hospital, but he got away with it Because they went to his house without a warrant like the librarian dude like he was fucking always crazy Do you is it hard to make friends in there because all these people did all this shit? No, because it was weird. You're in the kid like as soon as I got

You get off the fucking bus they they unshackle you They they give you sheets and all that shit. You have whatever you have coming from the other place You go to your bunk. Hopefully it's close to chow But before chow, you got to go see your fucking counselor And your counselor has a chit chat with you and tells you what he expects from you and What programs you have to be in you have to do a a twice a week and you have to Fucking go to the psycho group for drugs and you have to go to the other psycho group and they got 15 groups there So what you do is you sign up for all of them

Because they all cut your time So you spend your day in groups. Yeah, I went to a rape group I went to a fucking a victim group like I got raped I did everything because of makeup stories. No, you don't say nothing. You just sit down waving the bag You drink the coffee you eat the cookies and you sit in the back and wave It's the truth You want me to lie to you and tell you at least you didn't have to make up a story for all these like cancer survivor No, no, no, no. What do you think I'm that chick from fucking one of those movies uh fight club? No, no, no, no

It wasn't cancer survivors. You had to go to these courses if you had committed these type of crimes And they would give you some type of therapy Okay, I wasn't because I didn't get caught with the machine gun I didn't get charged or wasn't Uh supposed to I wasn't the court didn't make me go to like a weapon They called it something aggravated assault class or something That's if you assaulted somebody if you maim somebody

If now I went to that class you want that was the first time in my life. I have been scared Because nobody was doing drugs In those days they gave me that shit that the shit that you shuffle Uh methadone. No, no, no the other one that they call it something like the it makes you fucking like a like a zombo So in those days if you showed any fucking sign of aggressiveness They'd put you on that shit. No, they wouldn't. Yes, they would. Yes, they would Yes, they would they tell you it was something else and they put you on that shit And you'd sleep all day. You'd only be up for child and for your fucking job

They had a time just to calm you down And there was a couple of those fucking savages and that assault class whatever this is the first time I've ever talked about this link. I know I haven't in my life. What would they talk about? in the classes They would tell their story And then the counselor Would tell them why they had that Like this one guy

Broke somebody's kneecap with a pipe or something And he fucking that was scary because he started telling the story about his mom putting cigarettes out on him And she would tie him up and have sex in front of him You know like they they get that deep when you start listening to them Listen to be an animal that does that to somebody listen me Lee you and I got into an argument you pushed me I hurt your feelings. I push you You punched me in the head. I kick you in the stomach. We don't talk for two weeks

Everybody goes home happy. You're not gonna talk shit about me You violated me too. We're always gonna be brothers. It happens What if I pick you up and throw you off the fucking balcony? What would you think about me that and you broke a hip? That's malicious. There's an explanation why people do that Lee There's an explanation why people do that and when you dig a little deep It's fucking ugly and I didn't know this. I get waiting. I I knew this shit going into that That's why ever since like I was always in I was always enthralled with psychology in a way

I just wasn't gonna go to the school of psychology Right like I wouldn't mind taking like the courses that were required. It's a long process Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, but you know, it's too much. They break it down a little bit too much It's a little bit too Freudian and shit, but uh, you you know when you talk to people like those guys at a high level They're really sharp. They and I I don't know it's something I know because I know I'm half fucking retarded myself But I also know when something may fucking right with somebody. Okay. So what are we talking about here about? That therapist know when something's not right about the assault class. Oh the assault class. Don't take me off that. Okay. So there was like Not there. What was the scary thing?

It was a chick like that always stuck out my mind chick teacher. It was a chick counselor in that class She was a smaller black woman light-skinned very educated She was sweet, but she wouldn't show it because it would be a sign of weakness and one of those guerrillas would fucking rape her Right in the class though. She had a fucking be firm If you were late, don't show up. She was one of those women, you know, and I appreciate I was never late for a class I was never I was always early for those things. I'm surprised people would open up like that Well, I have to if you're required to go to them every week. Okay. Okay

Eventually no matter what you think when you go into those things You go home and you make a pre-determined of what you're gonna say and what you're not gonna say And then some crazy motherfucker goes in there And tells and breaks down My mother fucking her boyfriend ran a train up my asshole And then pipped me out and they smoked crack with my fucking toes and And you feel so horrible That whatever happened to you

Seems minute So after a while you want to state your case and you go, you know what I'm gonna fucking Tell my story, you know, you're compelled to say like after like four weeks I told the kidnapping story and they were all laughing at me And you know, if you watched The third season of narcos, is there three seasons? Yeah, if you watch the third season of narcos At the end There's a part where the crazy columbian is torturing the the securities expert

And he's telling me you know what I don't like about you that you don't carry a gun And he goes Is there a problem with me not carrying a gun? Do you remember the scene league? And he goes, maybe you're scared Maybe you'll find out that you're really an assassin That's what that teacher said to me Because Even like guns or why did they say that to you because they heard the whole story And I told the story how I went in the trunk of the car and pulled off the fucking gun

And I could have just ended this so you just they could have just ended this Like after and again when I went in there in fucking august I didn't even dream of getting that deep with it. But by november You know, like I said, you got one of my going to these four for 45 minutes every fucking week to sit here like a deaf mute I got to get something out of there. And like I said people went in there and told horrific stories Lee about taking eyes out and biting people Shooting a kid by mistake, you know, you have no fucking idea

Well, you have no idea my friend I never broke down on one of those things, but I always left that going And that's how I realized that I was in the criminal that class that class made me realize that You know what this came in for me This is what's really out there. And if I keep doing what I'm doing I'm gonna stumble upon this layer of fucking savages somewhere along the life Not that I never stumbled upon savages like this before But when one of them you could pass by it but surrounded by these animals

It was really and Lee that's why I don't know. It was a great experience for me that was it humbling almost Good sound like it sounded like not that you would think you were like meant the best but sound like you almost thought you were like kind of a big shot And then you hear all this stuff. You're like, oh, oh, shit. Listen. It made you feel bad and good in many ways Like you walked out of there. Let's face it people. I'm not gonna lie. Nobody you walked out of there going And I thought my life was bad. Maybe I'm not gonna cut his grandma's foot and you know, I mean They were just fucking horror stories and I don't forget. Oh, I didn't forget all of them Like I I can't remember all of them

But I do remember the kid with the fucking cigarettes and Just just horrible shit And I thought about him for one time Now you start thinking about the fucking people Right. Okay, and you start going This guy's 30 years old this happened to him from the ages of five to nine And he's been walking around with this inside of him For 20 years for 20 years that they they they fucked him in the ass and put dildos in his ass and his own parents did this to him

And then it's yeah, we go to his father's house and his father would make him blow the uncle You know, you don't Have a fucking idea these kids And they become men and they're carrying this shit So where the fuck are they gonna end up The the the value is nothing inside you see that they think it they know it they those They'll sit there and tell you they they got no value. Let go go out and kill or be killed again And don't make a fucking difference to them

I went I'm not gonna lie to you. I went to the rape only two times and that was just too disturbing for me I can't imagine it was too disturbing to me. The drug one was hilarious. They're always a fucking pisser They're always a fucking piss of the drug ones Because everybody was a kingpin Nobody was just a fucking regular Top of the notch, you know drug dealer I had bitches Everybody and they had bitches boats

Their attorney They all got fucking stories That's the worst one. I went to the alcoholic one There was a there was a couple of them because I was busy in the afternoons There was a couple therapy groups I had to go to And I told the truth, you know, I just told them what I knew at that time stand up was nowhere in my life Stand up was nowhere in my life at that time right not even fucking closely So it's kind of fucking crazy yet not even close

Like I'm trying to think back By then I had gotten on what was my so-called stage at that time Right. Yeah. I was already getting up on Thursday nights and during the movie and stuff during the movies and shit and yelling and screaming About two weeks ago. I was on the road and I was thinking about the guy I used to pick on a lot A couple weeks ago. I went to buy a pro an i pro pad with my wife An i pro pad with my wife Just keep going. It's on ipad pro. We got it Just by the way for very quickly his wife had

Your wife called me last week about something and we laughed for about three minutes about mirrors What mirrors the mirrors when you think when you call the windows mirrors But I don't want to distract from this story. I don't even know. Oh, so I go to this fucking place And there's this light skin sister. I mean she's really light skin With a thousand freckles on her And I sat there with her and I really got a great kick out. I gave her a great reading when sprint hit me up I always think about going there a second. I know but I don't want to seem like a creepy uncle So I just won't go in

But I really fell in love with her because she was cool as shit But she reminded me Of this dude in prison. I was tight with he was one of those orange black dudes He was orange, but he had freckles And he had freckles everywhere. I don't think I've seen anyone like that. Well, the bass will play from the Celtics But not but you don't remember him when I was a kid. I forget what his name is There were those black dudes that got freckles. They got a bunch of freckles and shit Well, this dude had a bunch of freckles and he was like orange skin black

And he had like orange black hair. It was fucking hilarious And he worked in the kitchen with us. Okay, and he would always be telling stories about He was a drug dealer and chicken hawk. He's telling the shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up negro. What the fuck are you talking about? You bummed three cigarettes in me yesterday. You ain't no fucking drug dealer Did he make a noise or something? Why did he call himself chicken hawk? Did you like I don't know. I never asked him. I never asked him chicken hawk He used to make me go into the black rooms and play domino with him in the prison

They would fucking hate me, but there was nothing they could do. He was an Antoine Spence Spencer Antoine and shit aka chicken hawk from New Orleans And he told us one day like uh You know when somebody's telling you a funny routine Like if you watch bill burr, you get submersion that shit, right? And you start laughing your ass off a cigar or a roguin. Sometimes you get submersion that shit We're in the kitchen one day Lee

the way Me and you sit here like we're becky Or somebody else when they come in here nick the tour. We're just sitting here talking But there was like five of us And we had because we used to they would cook shit in the kitchen And then each of us would smuggle stuff from the bodega And we'd make a big meal one day a week all the kitchen employees all the kitchen employees Would go to the store every day even if they had to borrow money from us

They go to the store every day and then they bring back supplies And on Friday we'd make like a Puerto Rican gumbo like real tiny shrimp with fucking uh with uh imitation crab meat And then you know, he would make like Louisiana the kid from New Orleans Antoine He would make that and then we make saltine crackers with uh Sardines, oh, oh, yeah, we'd be throwing heat the shit on fucking Friday

Living like doctors and that motherfucker blowing up your toilets. Oh disgusting I was living off those fucking things But that was one of the weirdest Because you always hang out with people and they tell you funny stories, right? Like they tell you stories about going on vacation or when their kid played in the third grade or whatever This guy was telling us a story How he murdered the guy He was in prison for

And we were in tears On the floor howling That's how funny he was You're listening to me going joey. How can somebody tell you about a murder in your in tears? So he told you about the murder. He told us the whole day how it went down Why it went down. So he had already gone through the whole trial. He wasn't yeah, we were doing time. All right He had nothing to lose He had nothing to lose Jesus Christ. So we're sitting around eating fucking lunch whatever

Everybody everybody else was gone from the cafeteria. You know, it's like six of us just sitting there I think me and purdy This dude's name was andrew purdy a fucking good-looking white dude From cali blonde hair the whole fucking thing. There was a troupe of those dudes, too There was a dude that looked like don henley from california. I was there He was doing federal time for fucking reefer for important reefer from california to colorado And there was another white dude there and i gotta tell you something all three of them were cool The older white dude used to give me books and shit to read

Very nice. He was fucking cool as shit, but purdy and me Was so tight. We ended up at the same halfway house in boulder. Oh, shit. Bam Reunion and then there was another guy that was a car dealer that was turning back to miles Okay, he was turning back the miles on the car and he was doing time His name was kelly. His last name was kelly. I don't know what his first name was A coke-free motherfucker even in prison. He was swinging coke Snorting coke. I had to avoid him like the plague. Did you had to roll it back? Yeah, he taught me I knew how to roll it back, but he was a pro at it and he got caught but he was the guy

that He would be working though I don't know He'd be working the line. Okay, so I would work in the morning guys. Okay, my shift was 7 a.m. To 9 10 I would wash my hands go to my room take a piss and shoot right to the library Okay, and then I wouldn't have to go back in there to a quarter to 12

Tell about a quarter to one and then me and the guys would sit around and talk shit And one day he was just like hey, so it's always I would tell you guys if I want to murder the guy Right, so this now this white dude the dude who was in jail for turning back miles Lee he was hilarious He wore glasses. He was goofy But he was a killer. He was cool as shit like he was just running a one-man operation Out of a fucking big time chrysler dealership in Lakewood Like this dealer had been there for 40 years family. He disgraced it single-handedly

He was snorting coke. He was fucking the receptionist. He was fucking customers wives I mean, he was a one-man demolition crew and he had zero remorse His wife were coming crying and he fucking totally go fuck yourself Deal with it. I left you 20 g's. He was nuts But the cool thing about him was that He would be put he was the dude who put the food out You know those dudes that put the food out in the trays caterers No, no, no, he was no fucking caterer. He worked in the kitchen

Okay, but his job was to fucking take the mashed potatoes and put them over the fucking sternos And then the other thing over the sternos. So he would put out like six things vegetable A fucking this or that in a kitchen Cardio ship. No, this is at the fucking prison. Oh gotcha. Jesus christ. We're at the prison gotcha And he was in charge of putting out the food So as soon as he'd lay out the food I'd go up to him and I'd go What's the story and he'd go Don't do it like he could just and I would go, okay

And I would sit in the back and the black dudes coming and that was my go to them Don't do it. I mean and that was it don't do it Don't do it and it was me and Kelly. I think his name was Kelly It wasn't frank. That's a different dude. This guy was like Mike or Daniel Or something like that. This was a party All right, so back to lunch. We're eating lunch And we're eating and somebody was talking about something And chicken hawk we had the go to he was dressed in white

If you work the kitchen, you got to dress in white and he had black boots on I never forget like it was yesterday And when we were in jail they were doing the Jerry curl But his Jerry curl was all fucked up. So his hand would stick up in the air Like a lunatic and shit. Okay, and I'm just added to his persona And we're sitting there fucking eating and all of a sudden he's telling us yeah It was like that dad killed that motherfucker and we're like, huh? And he's like, uh Yeah, man, you know in front of my mother fucking house

You know, I don't know what he was talking about like he just went into it Lee just like If he was saying hey, you remember the game last night, he just went into it Yeah, like like just we were sitting there a bunch of us all day drinking You know, I never did a drug in my life You know, and he was talking that's what made him unique like he didn't believe in drugs He didn't want him around If he would tell you when you moved into that chef barrack

The kitchen barrack if you do drugs don't move into barracks, bro Because I'm gonna find out and I'm gonna have you moved out So if you do drug, I'm telling you right now don't move in the chef barrack. There's another barrack for Kitchen help. It wasn't as nice though So that's why I live in that barrack and did you follow the rules? Yeah, I didn't do drugs in there. Okay. I didn't smoke pot in there I did ask them a few times They test you Lee And if they test you you're at a minimum security camp

You're living like a doctor. Nobody says booty. Okay. Okay. If you really want you you could drink But wait, I'm gonna get drunk with a bunch of guys and do what So I did ask them with the librarian The crazy librarian and this black christian dude one night. Sounds like fun I got a little voltage there. Who doesn't what we talking about. We're talking about Spencer Antwon telling his story. He's telling us the story and how he was there all day Having a great time barbecuing and he went to the front of his house And there was something going on

And he said this is why you got to be careful. He goes I learned that from that day on you got to walk away Because you don't know what this other motherfuckers carry And something happened and I mean bro, he locked us in It was like the greatest story I had ever heard in my life at that point And this isn't by somebody who was braggadocio. He was very quiet He wasn't a loud black guy at all He went to the movie theaters, he wouldn't say a word because I'd have to beat him to get a word out of him When watching football and shit. He loved to laugh

He was about six foot two 225 he had like four kids He made a lot of money like he wasn't a drug dude. He made a lot of money He did something like construction and he believed was a realtor. You could tell he was a sharp guy If I was 25 He was about 35 I know he had like one of the best attorneys

I know he paid a lot for his attorney to get him out He paid a lot of money because I remember him talking about he had to make three payments of 50 grand The first six months or something and then for the trial He had to pay him again or something like that So I know he had a white attorney a jew or something. I forget what he used to brag about him But yeah, he walked he said he went up to the dude The dude pulled a gun on him And he goes this is you know, this dumb motherfucker

You know pull a gun on me in front of my house You know, he was living like in 1950 There's a white guy. No, I think it was a black guy. You never disrespect a black guy like that There's some people bro, you take a weapon out in front in their fucking house. You're dead You're dead. That's a fucking goal. There's some people to shoot you Wouldn't that be in the fancy? I come into your house. I put my gun in the fucking trunk Before I walk in your house. I appreciate that

So the same thing okay this guy, but he didn't look at it like that. He didn't know, you know, it's like I don't even know you It's like if you knock on the door right now You know, I'm gonna shoot everybody motherfucking in here. Who's fucking my wife in here? I'm like dog No, it's you know, nobody's fucking your wife. We're in here doing a podcast My wife is in these motherfuckers. I'm gonna start shooting bitches. You know, whatever and you go out there and you And all of a sudden you end up fucking shot or whatever. He said he told the guy to put the gun away And the guy told him get the fuck away from me before I shoot your black ass and a bunch of other shit

So he said he just turned around And walked into his fucking house Oh, that was a mistake and that was a mistake. He came right back out with a knife and a gun. Oh Hey, he was selling a cube. I came out with a knife and a fucking gun He just killed him in front of his house It's too bad. He didn't have the gun on him because then he got to just kill them in self-defense It was some crazy fucking story, man But I remember all of us were like

It was one of those stories where you're sitting there and your head's fucking spinning From the uh from the story like what the fuck the fuck I was here. Yeah, it was really crazy. That was Those couple like I remember I wasn't proud of going to prison. I was proud of going to prison for one reason because I got it out of the way Like by the time I got sentenced and I digested four years I was like, you know what? I'll be even when I get out of here

That's it my karma will stop from scratch That's I mean, it's amazing what we tell ourselves. I guess that's what I told myself. So I said fuck it now. I get the fucking uh I'm thinking I'm doing Four years the only thing the attorney told me he was in a file for a reconsideration motion After 120 days and 90 days or something like that. Okay. All right. That's what the fucking dude told me So I sat there it's august 15th and I'm like, okay What's 120 days? That's

September october november december Oh, that's a bad time of the year to be filed a motion That's like coming to borrow money from somebody on the 15th. You know what I am? Christmas is a week away son Nobody wants to work on the 15th They're all taking their vacations unless you got a bad-ass jew attorney Right who gets a bad-ass jew judge and says come on russia shana Starts talking a couple of bombets for his

Come on open the books for this kid on the fucking thursday, you know the 21st or something like that And what would it still do right even if I got the grant motion even if I got the motion granted. I'm sorry Even if I got the motion granted It was still taking me 30 days to get processed right Is that do you think that's where you learned? to be how Focused you are because you can't that's that's the thing. I hate the most is waiting for something

I hate that I always I anticipate things and I get myself worked up. What would you do? If tomorrow you had to go to court right for a parking ticket at 9 30 in the morning, right? You would talk to me at 7 15. We made some fucking racial slurs at one another We talked about paula. We talked about the podcast You told me what you ate last night. You smell like your next month's like hummus And you told me you're gonna call me at one when you're coming back from court What if at four o'clock in the afternoon? I got a collect call from you from the county jail

And you tell me to call my attorney to get them down there That they're mistaking you for somebody and You're gonna do it. They're charging you with this and this and this and it is your car You saw the dents in it when you put when you got in at the court. They showed it to you know, just something obscured, you know I'm saying What would you be thinking the first 24 hours late? You're missing this you're missing that your girlfriend's gonna find that thing you hit under the blank There's a thousand things on your mind

That takes two days to process and then boom you get everything You're going to court tomorrow morning face the judge will set the bail. That's another mind fuck. Okay Okay, you know and then all of a sudden bail gets set and that's another six hours until you fucking get released Because they gotta hold you in there for a certain amount of hours so the state gets a daily pay for you Gotcha, so if you if you're in there for eight hours, the state gets 55 dollars a day for you So if you get bailed out of 11, they'll make you wait till five Then at 501 you're like what the fuck just happened I put the money up here 10 in the morning. We've been waiting out there for six motherfucking hours

Jesus christ. So now you get out, right? Right. It's worth 50 right now You get out and you have a couple months to process what's going on And if you're an asshole like me you actually believe You're not gonna go to prison even though the guy you paid fucking a thousand dollars a minute to Told you that you're gonna do fucking time Whether it's 90 days in county or 90 day He said he goes you're gonna do 90 days in prison And you're gonna file a reconsideration motion and then you'll be out but either or you're gonna do 90 fucking days

And you didn't think it was gonna happen I thought I wasn't going there sweet charm the motherfucking but On august 15th It took me about six days to process That I wasn't going nowhere It's about six days to process That you're not going anywhere What that means is that all that shit in your body gets released You accept that shitty bed

You start watching people's tv you start making friends because the first few days you don't want to talk to nobody You're a short term You know be out of it. You got the best attorney in town You're getting the fuck out of in two hours. You know what I'm saying? You got bitches you like that scene from Eddie Murphy. Where's my bitches at? Yeah I'm getting out of here down on the you got nobody You make up this fucking by the third day Your own mind starts making up different scenarios. You start calling people you met like three years ago. How are you going?

Listen, I got a bail for 50 that you just start, you know, it's crazy But once you accept it that's a complete different feeling When you know you're going away You're in there's no escape unless you're a fucking moron You're only in there for four years So it took about a week 10 days to accept that And then you accept your fate you find out where you're going

Things slow down you start talking to people you're giggling at night The black dudes make you fucking laugh at night You know, they have apple pie in there You get to play basketball and lift weights for an hour So you're okay You don't talk to nobody about nothing heavy. You keep it light I get to Where they do all the testing diagnostic diagnostic quickly

I get the diagnostic And i'm already talking to counselors about what i gotta do and how much time i got and they're already time with me Can you imagine i'm already prepared to do till february or something like that maybe march or april You're prepared to do okay. This lady told me right out She goes here's your fucking deal. She goes Right now as it stands You got an 18 month sentence No, you got a 24 months a 24 month sentence two years. Okay two years. Okay. She goes you did two months in county

And you've already done a month or something got your way it worked out I had 18 months left to go Watch as soon as i got in i had 18 months left to go So you went from four years for 22 months to 18 months So right off the bat because the time i had done in county right and the time i was was already in whatever I got four months taken off 24 to 18 Six months would shut right off

Okay, so i had 18 months left. Okay, and she said to me we have another situation For us to even keep you in here you have to be a one point You have minus one She goes we have to send you right through a halfway house By law we're gonna send you right through a halfway house, but you have another problem You're eligible for a halfway house, but you're not gonna get through a halfway house to your 16 months away from your sentence So in two months So she goes what do you want to do is whatever the fuck you want to do

She goes the more time you spend in here, but she goes i already got a reconsideration motion So that means sometimes next year early next year You've got a reconsideration motion boom january 20th The president was getting sworn in that day What the fuck you think you're dealing with joey, but that is I went he granted me community corrections So everything worked out as planned, but it was still the same thing I was still gonna end up in the halfway house one way or another

And it was there was no way you could spend the rest of your time in prison and just get out full No, I had to go somewhere. I either had to go to bolder a long month And which one did you want to go to i wanted to go to bold i want to be close to my people Okay, i wanted to be able to run my little game but it was uh It was an education that whole group thing As much as I don't believe in a lot of it wasn't that type of

Psychiatry Right it was people telling what they did And then we talk about it for two or three weeks and then she'd fucking put a swirl on you And by that time you'd be broken you'd be thinking about it. She had to think about it and making notes and shit like that fuck That's amazing that she had that power over people You know, I remember talking to her about what I had done and the machine gun and she told me she goes what went on with you And I told I had lost my mom and this and this

And your dad and my dad, you know She was like wow and I told him about my stepdad not giving me any money and the anger I had And I told her the truth. I said yeah, I thought about shooting them and stuff Okay, and she goes then this was evident I said she goes thank god nothing bad happened here She goes what happened if you went into new york and went to shoot him and you got to a gunfight with him And you killed him, but he shot you in the leg on the way down or something She goes this worked out pretty good and it was true after whatever went down with the gun and the gun pointing and shit

That was enough for me Lee. Am I gonna lie to you? That was enough for me, man That's good. I don't want to be around that shit ever again after that. Like Jesus Christ. I don't blame you up to that point I didn't give a fuck. I was playing in that field for about Three years I was walking around Miami vice added fuel to the fucking fire Right and added fuel to the fire and that and the cocaine took me over the fucking edge And that's what happened for me fucking thinking about all that shit

I thought I was gonna get away with some type of fucking Miami vice machine gun type deal and that shit ain't gonna fucking work anymore I know you don't believe in like a lot of universes But even if it was just like you were gonna run through the process of going to your car to get those guns If you did it 10 times, how many times do you think you stopped because like it's amazing I'm so happy that you did But it's like that one that one decision And there must have been some time that you could have been angry enough to go fuck it I think the uh realization of

Going to your car and taking a gun out to shoot somebody After you just walked out of a place where a guy was tied up with a machine gun to him That was as real as it got And I'll tell you something between you and I The fantasies I had at the time or whatever was going through my head or the pain and the addiction the whole shit that was going on with me at the time I had a little percentage of common sense And like I told you we spoke about the other day once you go into that realm That's our different realm once you have that realm over you that you and I'll never forget

When that whole vela thing went down that I was in the driveway And I looked around Okay, I was making believe it was getting the jacket And taking it off and that's what I was doing. I was taking the jacket off And I put in the back seat and I was just looking around and there was no cars and no driveway Unless they everybody had their car in the garage. It was a sunny day

It was october 18th. It was a sun on november 18th. November something like that. Right. It was a sunny day It was this the Leaves were coming down type day, you know, it was like one of those type 60 degree 63 degree with the sun out type day sweater weather I never forget I looked around and I go, you know what? If I shot these guys and nobody would ever know Fuck

Three bullets nobody would know All I have to do is sit tight for 10 minutes wipe down the fucking door knobs And just get the fuck out of here and pray to god nobody comes out of the house And you're not that stupid. You're like, what are the odds of that happening? There's always some old lady looking out the fucking window. Are you always alone on A lot and then it takes a four days to remember there was a white car How do you know because you know, my husband drove the same one We're looking for a 64 jerry in power something fucking stupid. Who doesn't who knows?

But something like that came through my mind I giggled I was happy. I wasn't in that house no more. I got in the car and I fucking left And I don't remember correctly, but I already had the coke gun like I had a piece of coke at the house. Okay, and that's all I gave a fuck at that time So at the end Look who won Nikki skinner jim nunya

Elliot smith bad motherfucker Caleb fur Cezar Santana Billy Hosner Tony bbf3 Jarvis mino Charlie H

And my main man Tony capicola Always throwing fucking he you know, I love you motherfuckers with all my heart But listen man, like I was talking to my wife today. We were sitting in the kitchen And I explained to her today that that little thing that I had growing up that always paying attention I've always had that guys And it's a blessing. I'm not gonna lie to you. I think that if I have anything good going for me It was always my eyes Lee honest to god Honest to god. I love that shit. I live for that shit

You know when I drive back from the store I can make a ride and get I always drive past your house and make a ride on your block just to check on you Thank you. I don't beep because I'm a gentleman I don't act like a fucking animal anymore 20 years ago. Oh, I would have beeped out in front of they called you at the same time then left Made you come down and left I told you had some kfc for you and then left So no, no, no every night. I love all that shit. I love watching

You know, I sit on my porch sometimes and I see Who would watch somebody breaking into my house? There's only one fucking window. It's terrible You know, all the other windows are covered So you could be shoot, you know, it's just a shame. So I was telling my wife. Thank god. We got that fucking ring Yeah, we got the other ring ring with the fucking the whole light and the taping and the whole you need cameras now You need 10 fucking things now and now listen man. Listen 9 11 The world changed

and on monday The world changed again The world really changed again They hit us where We always thought Would never happen. We always thought if they hit las vegas It was gonna be a complete different way mad y'all I may whether whatever a big ufc

Once the raiders got there You know, I mean there's something going on in vegas every goddamn week but This was fucking out of the blue, right? I think we're gonna see metal detectors and I for one Don't care about that at all I mean it's gonna take a while to get through. It's gonna suck. Listen guys every time I'm flying back on a sunday or i'm leaving there By the time I get to the security point

If I tell you something honestly, I always think i'm gonna die Every time I put my luggage on a security thing that will sleep at me a pouch, right? Why do you think you're gonna die? I think right there. I'm gonna hear viva isis And something else and i'm just gonna fucking some guys with a polite grenade out of his fucking jacket And there I go getting hit by a chair or something Or some dude's cane or something like that, right? I swear to god. I'm not gonna lie to you even at burbank airport I could be by myself and as soon as i'm walking out I'm expecting the guy to say viva whatever the fuck

Isis and there I go And that's it 22 wounded at burbank airport Disgusting comedian joey dears Found this fucking fat little feet hanging off his fun guy toes still lives forever Oh my god, but every time i'm fucking flying. I think i'm gonna fucking get iced Every time Right there at the airport

Right at that fucking tsa gate And if you want me to lie to you, I lied to you, but i'm not lying to you. I'm telling you that this is fucking crazy That's how scared I am and now it raised my fear Just a little bit more As an american as a comedian Who goes to vegas all the time? Yeah, well, you know, I mean This is part of it This is part of this is part of the fucking game, man

I mean I grew up. I grew up. We went to disney world all the time. I was very lucky You probably would love to take your daughter there I mean, listen when Is that one gonna happen? What are they gonna hit an NFL game? What are they gonna have a baseball game? What is somebody gonna, you know, when is that what is the next thing? Now it's just gonna be avoided by automatic weapons

It's just gonna be avoided by metal detectors at the stadiums. How that's it. That's it You know, uh 20 years ago was the oklahoma bomber. What do you do drive a car? They leave bombs under the building or bombs in the car. It's a different level now guys And now, you know, what happened? What was the one you just mentioned edmonton? Where the car drove? Yeah, listen when i'm walking now guys, listen, if you listen to the church, do me a favor Keep that fucking phone in your pocket Do me a favor ain't nobody funny enough Is there's no important there's nothing as important as your fucking life

Yeah, nothing as important in your life You get to a street corner You put your fucking phone in your pocket. You look straight ahead It's just like when you were a kid. What would I tell you left right left? I still do that. We're going back to kid stuff, man We got to go back to fucking basics in our life You see something, you know, again dirty fucking bags What how many bags did you say I think it was 30 all google dirty bags upstairs inside and out not one camera caught that

Three days he got there on a fucking Thursday. He went fucking bananas on sunday So over three days he carried 30 bags up and down and nobody caught this That's lit. This looks suspicious Come on guys. We're not paying attention, man Our heads in our fucking ass and if we don't have the phone in our head We're thinking about a fucking Dumb stupid What's that binge watch we're gonna do over the weekend?

It's bad And as an As a logical american like well wait a second. I just won't go out then what the fuck Then what are you gonna do living cambodia for the rest of your fucking life? You got us. You got to go out. You got to stand for something I feel terrible. I feel terrible the last fucking three days and I don't know anybody I don't I just dream of It's unimaginable thinking of being there

Close your eyes for a second And thinking of being at any outdoor concert anything it could be anything You know ozzy fest Fucking whatever this the the 810 any outdoor festival. Can you imagine this guys? I Told you guys earlier you never dreamed 20 years ago That there was going to be medical man one and someday you were walking to a store And talk to people well now

It's unimaginable that you know People getting shot out of a fucking beautiful hotel in last on the Las Vegas window. So But on the bright motherfucking side, let me tell you what's crackle I can Tampa I'll be slinging dick Next week at the Tampa improv Thursday Friday Saturday And then the following week at on Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky I'll be over there with the motherfucking wildcats. They got two Cuban restaurants over there and fucking Lexington

And that's how we do it I'm happy you guys listened to monday's podcast with nick when we discussed the yankees and I hope You guys watch me when I tweeted his Periscopes, he's a fucking lunatic. Let me tell you something if He got it together And put a service together for april may june july august for baseball I would pay five dollars a month a month To watch him twice a week go crazy

He's that funny. He's that fucking And he's knowledgeable as fuck about baseball I've seen some of his footage On youtube of him doing mlb tonight and shit like that He knows the fucking game. I just I just don't know the game so I can't If I knew the fucking game of baseball, this is I would love to go back and forth with him about baseball Where was he 35 fucking years ago? Well, I knew everything about baseball. I knew referee. I knew umpires I swear to god, I knew the fucking umpires when I was a kid

For the major league for the major league Jesus christ for the Boston Red Sox Because that's who I watch religiously, right and for the national league I would watch the Mets, but then I started watching them for the playoffs. I mean, I started the obsession When I was five Right, so I started watching other things. I started watching the umpires Who are the umpires that are fucking there when my team loses? And you put the malook on them or something

No, they put the malook on themselves. I watch it. I go fuck this. I'm not gonna watch this game Because this cock sucked is behind the plate and we're gonna die a slow death There's an nfl rough that has that right now people hate him with like donnie here or something. Yeah, they hate him. They think he's making all about himself, but Yeah, nick is amazing. It's kind of fucking crazy that uh That uh, I don't know what the fuck I was gonna say The ref will be talking about nick nick No, it's it's it's crazy how knowledgeable he is and he'll take you all the way back

He'll take you to those series batting averages Rotation the bullpen It's just fucking amazing. I don't know who holds all that knowledge but anyway Let me talk to you something real quick and I'll get you out of your fucking window You can go fucking jump up and down and go have a great weekend But don't forget next week tamper improv

But the most important thing is i'm happy your mother fuckers around here You're listening And your fucking family you're showing up at the fucking shows Some guy gave me a container fucking weed and fork cushies the other day I got a bag of mushrooms. I got a bunch of shit in Pittsburgh. Don't fuck around people so generous Sure Stop being so generous, please. I keep forgetting to bring the mushrooms for you. Thank you. I appreciate that I'm gonna try to clean them for you. Thank you. That's all I ask them what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna do something else for you

Okay, I'm gonna bring nice chocolate not thc chocolate. See today. I could have been a scumbag to you You could have they have cookies and cream no, no, no they have uh Please don't ruin cookies and cream for me. It's my favorite flavor. No, listen to me. They have vanilla Ice cream vanilla ice cream cake. Mm-hmm 200 milligram thc bars The only thing I didn't like about him is too big of a ball It's not too much chocolate fair enough, but they say it's like a french chocolate very fine very refined So I may bring it for you for fucking monday nights podcast the sunday nights podcast

Whatever the fuck we decided to do You're so you're looking good soldier. Look at you trying man You got the little spots tonight, but everything's working out. I'll tell this new blood's good Like I said, I watched that fucking yucky game last night when I went swimming with my daughter When I had it on because for some reason I got an mlb Whatever the fuck and serious in the car So it was three nothing And by the time I was making the turn it was three three maybe or something. It was tied up. Okay, I don't know

I don't know what it was But I knew the Yankees didn't stay losing For long it was four three something fucking crazy Then I did some shit and we ate dinner we talked Homework and then I went back and I could say they were winning like eight to four or something And it was kind of nice. I watched baseball for the first time, you know, I didn't bet it that I bet it No, I didn't fucking bet it But if I would let me tell you something, right?

It's baseball playoffs Then you get the world series not to mention right now. That's it. What week is it a week four for right? Week five is coming up. That means the soft lines and whatever's gonna happen already happened You got september out of the way professionals. No only amateurs Gamble and fucking september october is when it starts because gets what else is coming down the pipe bam hoops The nb mother fucking a right and why let me ask you a question

You sit there you read the papers you do a bunch of things you do all this analytical stuff And let's say you you work hard to have a winner And what are you gonna do? What good is having a winner is not having somebody reliable To put your bet in with That's why I always tell people To go to my bookie dot ag My bookie has been around in business for years. Their rep is rock solid I think it was lee and a different friend of mine did business with them. Listen, they do 100

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You lay everything you got on that motherfucker. You believe in that motherfucker if you do that 11 times You're gonna be seven and four that means you're gonna be what seven net fucking winners So if you bet our 200 a week that means $14,000 bam there you go into christmas They gotta fucking kiss your feet you follow i'm saying to you you want to make a little dough And gamble and get paid with no drama Here we go Go to my bookie right join now and my bookie dot ag Will match your deposit with up to 100 bonus of your first deposit up to a thousand dollars

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