Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #525 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt with Cassius Morris

Episode Date: October 17, 2017

Cassius Morris, 19 year old host of the "Cassius Morris Show" podcast and rock concert photographer calls in to speak Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. Cassius recently achieved a goal of interviewing Kiss member Gene Simmons. This podcast is brought to you by: Meundies.com - Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your first order and free shipping!   ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church     Recorded live on 10/16/2017.


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Tuesday. 16th. Get your shit together cost suckers. 15 more days to Halloween. Oh shit. Cassius Morris. The Christ killer. And your uncle Joey. Taking you back to 94 Janet Jackson when she was fucking tremendous. Oh shit.

You ever see this video Lee? Chinese chicks flying through the fucking air. Janet Jackson's belly button. Tremendous. Faking and fucking. She was loaded with plastic surgery. But fuck it. Who gives a shit? I love Janet Jackson. What's happened you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joe here on a beautiful Monday night in Los Angeles. Lisa Yats here. What up G?

I'm doing good. Janet Jackson was actually my like first concert at like fifth grade or something. My dad got tickets to like the tea that used to be the it's called the TD garden now. I used to be used to call the Fleet Center and we're up way up in the way back. I think I was I don't think I'd even heard of it. Celtics and all ruins. But now it's called the garden. It's again called the garden. But yeah she's like I almost wish I could have seen something like she's part of a dynasty like her family is a dynasty. It's you know it's crazy that I saw them. I mean I'm a little younger than Michael maybe by year or two. Really?

He's dead. But I still remember walking on Times Square and making my godfather buy me the ABC album. I mean I still remember bringing it home and listening to it and singing and dancing like a fucking lunatic that night. Was it different back then because now there's like a lot of kids TV shows and there's kids on online. But back then were there like child stars? Like your age? All right so TV had three fucking channels. When I came from Cuba TV had three channels and you had Telemundo and Univision. You know what I'm saying. So that's that's that. Child stars. I don't really like the Osmans. Remember we had

to think here one time with the Osmans and the Jacksons and then you know you had individual little guys that were on Team Beat David Cassidy and shit like that. That's who was around when I was around. You know I didn't really look at fucking little boys league. Right now I have a fucking idea. I want to thank the people of Tampa and the surrounding areas Miami for coming out to the Tampa Improv. I had a fucking blast. Like I said some guy brought me a fucking black sabbath paranoid album. The covers busted up with the fucking albums in great shape. My friend Gino brought me a fucking whatever black label society CD

that's tremendous. It was just a great time. So I want to thank you guys for coming out. Florida is such a different fucking place. They had chickens walking around and shit all over the city. I was smoking a joint one time taking a little walk like at six in the morning. Right. And there was chickens fucking caca-caca on all morning and shit because it was still dark out. The first morning I got to do radio. I got up at five like an asshole that I am. There were chickens near like I just imagine you in like a city. Chickens on the streets. Well this is a city. Okay. Very a lot of history really you know the

pirates were there like the not the pirate Pittsburgh pirates but like real pirates were there at Santo Traficante's town Tampa to Mafia town. You always hear about like how Texas is its own country almost but like Florida has so many different areas like each city is different like Orlando is kind of like Burbank essentially. It's like Disney and kind of seems cool and then where my dad lives like literally I'm surprised they have schools but I don't see any children. It's like all 90 year old retirement communities and then like you hear about Miami which is college kids and like all the pretty people. Florida is

really do you ever do a lot of because you've done so many gigs everywhere. Were you all over Florida. No. No. I've only been to Jacksonville to do comedy. Tampa is the second time Miami. Really. West Palm. Yeah that's I'm not going on the fucking state. That's a big ass fucking state like Texas also. Oh it's funny last night I called you. You called me and for the first time you were watching 60 minutes. Yeah. Oh my god. It was about the opioid epidemic and how the big farm and how the DEA the guy stopped prosecuting cases and shit. Yeah. You see that. Oh I saw it. It was amazing when an American watches that that's patriotic

and really believes in the system like a guy like yourself. It kind of breaks you in a way like me. I'm used to it. Yeah. You know it's like when you watch the first season of narcos or the second season of narcos and they explained what happened in 85. I lived through that. So unless you're a fucking moron you really don't know they were having a problem getting ether into Columbia. Right. Plus at that time I don't know if it was one of the bushes declared war on Columbia. So by that time the narcos had pulled their cocaine them were developing in labs in Cuba. Holy shit. They were paying Fidel 800,000 a

shipload for cocaine that they would ship into the fucking states but they were making 60 million a day. Right. They give a fuck about 800,000 dollar payment. So the same thing happened. They got tougher on it because they wanted in. Yeah. If you remember in narcos he goes maybe they want it or maybe they just wanted a piece of the pie. I mean and this is we'll get back to 60 minutes but I also have seen stories that now Pablo's son is saying that his dad was just was working for the CIA and the DEA. Does any part of you believe that's true? I don't give a fuck. Okay. He's dead. What do I give a fuck? Well you

know if he says he was working for the CIA. Listen in today's fucking world you never know. In that world. Right. When there's that much money involved. Right. That much money involved is always a by the way or you have to assume there has to be. I mean if you remember in narcos they said that they caught him on the tarmac of loading a plane in Nicaragua. Right. So they were doing business with communists you know. Who knows what the fuck they were doing and they caught Oliver North. I mean when it comes to the CIA and all those topics it's like a big question mark. Well it's it's sort of the same thing like how you were

talking about the DEA it's and you were right it's I consider myself patriotic I'm not I don't have a flag like I don't consider myself extra patriotic but I you grew up you believe and you believe in the system. Right. Exactly. You believe in the systems here to protect you and you believe that the system is here to make the best decisions it can for you. But in the long run you see something like the 60 minute interview last night. Both of them. Both of all the one guy that became a lawyer and shit but that was interesting. You know 60 minutes I've been watching this as I was a kid. Because you could sit there and give a

fuck about all the news in the world or you could just cut through the chase give me three stories that are interesting to me and I'll get two out of three of them to be interesting. That's why you always DV arm because you could speed through the second one or one that old fuck is doing an interview or something like that. But it's such a it comes at you from a different perspective. And they do such a professional job on it. You see you hear a lot now about blogs. There's a lot more journalism out there than there used to be. But when you see 60 minutes it like for me I don't know it just seemed more professional than a lot

of the other news that you see nowadays. And to me I and you're right I believe in the government. I want to. It's not even as much as I do. It's that I really I hope I wish that I could and to hear that they're all all it boils down to his money. I mean I don't want to cause no problem right. No no no. But how do you feel about how does it got like you feel about some something like the Kennedy assassination. When you grow up with that as you I mean I I looked at it you know I'm not here to judge nobody. Right. I don't know if he could shoot. What the fuck do I know. I was maybe three when it happened to ten months old. I fucking

don't know. It was so it was so much history. Like I don't even remember in the 60s right. Sixty six. Sixty three sixty six. I don't fucking know. But the thing is that you look at something like that and they keep telling you our government did it. And it's like the Catholics. It's like with me with Catholicism. When I look at an article and it says a large bishop got transferred because he raped seventy kids. Right. In my heart I don't really want to believe it but it's the truth. And it's the same thing with government to some people like it was to me. I also believe in the government. But growing up in North Bergen I saw

corruption in such a micro level that I knew if this was it at the micro level I can't imagine what it is at the macro level. And it's like I was telling my wife when when you're at the micro level you get donations from corporations and industries that sway your decision you know which is what's a donation a legal bribe. Right. That's what a donation basically is to a fucking whatever. Especially that level. It's not like five hundred dollars. I love you so much. I'm going to give you a million dollars. It's because in a year from now I'm going to try to pass a fucking thing and you're going to okay it for that million dollars I gave.

And not even okay. This is the part that I had just no idea about. Like they were talking about lobbyists and all that and they were saying like the former one of the former lawyers for the DEA who switched over which is he wrote the fucking marino bill. How do you write the bill. How do you write the fucking bill for legislative for like a I thought he had to do that or something. Yeah. And then he probably wrote it got it passed you know two things like that. Yeah. He just gave it to the dude and then a year later he was working for a big pharma guy and they showed videos of this guy. Yeah. Not lobbying. Yeah. He was. Well. No. Yeah. That was before because he was a DEA

and then when he quit when he got a fire. He made like an advertisement. He made an advertising for himself saying that if you have a company and the DEA is up your ass he'll come and get him out of your ass. And that's what. And then that's he did the marino bill after he was at the DEA. Now let me ask you this. Right. Did your girlfriend know she was at the daughter game. You know it's pretty interesting that you see how they're on one side of the law. Right. For 15 fucking years giving it everything. And one day it all goes out the window. It's just like an actor. It's just like the narrow. It's just like a fighter. You believe in the system for so long. And then one day you go.

What do I give a fuck. Just give me the fucking. I'm quitting this shit. And I'm going to go make 10 times what I was making here for less work for less work. And I don't get shot at and I wear suits and I go to expensive fucking lunches and people take me out to lunch. You know that's when you come out of the collage school or any other thing you come out so gung-ho you're going to save the world and all this shit. Yeah. And then you see your cohorts driving fucking you know Maserati's and taking six weeks vacation and you're still working for the city prosecuting fucking gang bangers and fucking whatever. Right. What are you going to do after a while. Same thing. You've already

learned the loopholes of the system. Now you're going to go open up your own attorney and fucking and exploit those loopholes. That's what it basically is. You're switching governments and now you exploit those loopholes for a fucking tremendous salary and a tremendous living. You know I said I fight 10 fights. I'm hurt. You know what I know I'm fucking stuttering. I know I'm hearing Chinese people yelling at night when I take a shower. Fuck it. I'm going to take 10 more fights at two hundred fifty thousand dollars a fight. I don't care if I get beat up as long as my family has a couple million when I die. What do I give a fuck. Same thing happens to actors. I'm 58. I bought into this fucking acting

bullshit. And what did it get me. It got me two Oscars. I'm like I beat by fucking some monkey one fucking year that an animated monkey. You know what. Fuck you. I'm doing every shit script there is. I'm calling it in and that's how I'm going to go out. And a lot of people think that's the narrow reasoning now. I don't really agree. I just think that there's a bunch of shitty movies coming out. That's but it like it's it's amazing what we do for money and how it just all that's all really boils down and it's there's people out there who don't there's like there are some people who just do it for the love of it and they almost get made fun of. It's almost like look at this idiot who's who actually cares about stuff. I know me as a comedian. I was having a lot better

time when I was doing comedy for free. Now I'm considered a professional. Right. Yeah. There's so many check things on the list before I go on stage. And it's so sad how so many people that around my life don't understand those checklist. You understand that maybe like friend of mine like a friend of mine came up from Clearwater that I dated and she said it. She goes when we were sitting at the end of the show she told her boyfriend she goes you know it's really weird to see. I still remember seeing Joey and seeing in Colorado and now 20 years later he's the fucking headline and not just the hell she said it to me. She goes it's amazing to really see but she goes I also remember how you stuck to it. She goes the reason we broke up is because

you stuck to this. You knew that was what you wanted. She goes you didn't want to go out at night. You didn't want to do anything. This was it for you. And she goes it was great for two years but then it got really old that you were that serious about it. And it was a compliment to me. You know I was fucking 38 or something. I had nothing going on in my life and she was a party girl. So every other week she had a family member coming out here. She always had a friend from college coming out here. They stayed with us and to top it off we have to entertain and she would get mad at me like we're going to Venice. I have a good time. I got a show tonight. I am not fucking going to Venice. I'm going to the store to hang out. There might be a fallout.

I can make 15 bucks or I could just get that much better. She didn't fucking understand that. It's hard. I think it's I don't think a lot of people have something they're that passionate about. Well you have to be that passionate and that driven to really excel in your field and people don't know that that's the dedication level that you have to have to really excel in your field whether you're an attorney whether you're you know at any level. If I'm an attorney and I keep dicking around and I keep making wrong choices my first two or three years. Here he is. Cassius. Joey Coco Diaz. What's going on? What's up buddy? How are you? I'm fantastic. Lee how you doing? I thank you guys so much for having me on tonight.

Hey buddy good to hear from you. You know we like to do our yearly check up with our little brother fucking Cassius up there in Canada running things. Oh well thank you man. It's been uh it's been a lot of fun out here. The podcast over on you guys has been going fantastic too. The Action Bronson episode was killer man. Yeah we're trying man. You know there has a podcast to yourself. You know that there's up there's valleys. There's peaks and valleys and uh you have to capitalize on the fucking peaks and every once in a while you gotta bump into a valley and you keep plugging. You stay consistent. You stay on top of social media just like you do and everything works itself out man. I mean you're doing a fucking fantastic job over that.

Well I really appreciate that Joey. I mean it's you're right. I mean when you're doing the podcast it is it's always that ebb and flow. I find that the easy part is initially piquing people's interests. The harder part is keeping it and that's where the persistence that you just mentioned comes in. Like you really got to be working at this every day and if you're not it's simply not going to work out. You got to put your all into it. When you just called in we were talking about dedication like when I moved here in 97 I had a girlfriend and she was a dancer you know she was a stripper and she made money and she wanted to do different things on the weekends and I'm like that's not my game. I didn't move to LA to go camping on Saturday and Sunday. I don't give a

what the fucking ocean looks like. I moved here to become a comic and eventually that and a lot of other things broke us up but she came to see me Saturday night and after the show that's what she said. She goes at one point she goes I still remember you being coked out sending envelopes out. I can't be up doing blow till five in the morning licking envelopes for free fucking movies and agents. It was it was non-stop but what people don't understand and she said it she goes I didn't understand that. Now I would tell everybody you attack things the way you attack them and that's how you have to attack things and that's how you're attacking them. Yeah I mean it's something that I realized after you know when I was a little younger

like I took a hiatus from podcasting in general and I just really realized how much of a hit that is to you and I also realized you know this past year you know how much distractions can do you in like you said you know you got to avoid those kinds of situations man. I mean it's really really difficult but it again it's all about that focus. It's funny because you call it a distraction but most people go Joey the cash is your fucking party poopers. There's a huge party. Everybody's gonna be there Saturday. You know all our friends are gonna be there. What do you mean you have a podcast at eight o'clock? Well I have a podcast at eight o'clock you know or Def Leppard's coming to town so can't you blow off Def Leppard and go see them in Ontario

or something else and you're like no they're playing here. You know I want to interview the fucking drummer with the one arm and that's the only time I could do it so fuck you and your fucking party and people think you're anti-social or people think that you're I don't know what they're saying is like a like a party pooper or something but the bottom line is if this is what you want to do this is what you have to do. This is it. There's no fucking thinking about it. There's no feeling sorry for your girlfriend and when you have a girlfriend you have to fill her in from the beginning but that's the big mistake that a lot of guys make in the beginning they hook up with somebody I like to pussy and then they're like yeah I'll do this I'll do this I'll do this and then

three months goes by you've already violated that pussy 80 times it's time for you to go back out in the jungle and do comedy or play music or interview rock stars like you do and now you're a bad guy you've changed no I never changed so if you nip that shit in the bud from day one they know exactly what time it is whether you're dating a girl or boy I don't fucking know anymore so I'm not talking about you Cassius I just don't want people to think that I was gonna say you know what's up with me Joey yeah I know you're a dick slinger you little dirty bastard I see you on there kissing and hugging and shit well Cassius I just want to get right to it I mean for at least for me my question tell me about getting Gene Simmons on because I just can't eat like I remember I've

seen pictures of you since I started with Joey that was six years ago and I think you've been doing podcasting for like seven or eight now and you've always loved Cass so I can't I just want to hear about that's what I want to hear about it was an insane thing Lee I mean like I showed up to the expo I'd been trying for I mean close to I think it's eight or nine years now to get the interview and I've been told by like you know members of kiss they said listen Gene's never gonna do this man like we understand that you really want him on he's not gonna do it and when I came to the expo I had a media pass to the expo that he was signing at and they even told me Gene is not doing an interview and then finally somebody who works for the band who shall remain nameless

of course actually gave me the chance to send a formal email request and have it sent to Gene's personal inbox so he could decide so after you know eight and a half some years finally it came down to Gene and he saw it and he liked it and he personally responded to the email and he said he would be happy to say hello and do the interview so I called the expo I said listen you guys got you guys got something twisted right now I'm doing this interview and they said fine it's Gene's choice and it was uh it was one of the best days of my life honestly was it was really a dream come true when I saw it I was so fucking happy for you and then when I saw it on sixth you know on uh Nikki Six's show and a lot of people were retweeting and shit I was like oh my god

this kid hit the fucking jackpot but this is because he's been at it for eight or nine fucking years most people would have believed it and given up yeah and there's no easy way into it it was one of your dreams interview right I mean it's literally why I started when I was like nine and a half some years old I I heard a podcast about kiss and they ended up interviewing members of the band and I said I want to start and eventually interview Gene Simmons or Paul Stanley um and that's why I even started podcasting so after all this time it feels insane but but the thing about it is that as much as it is great and it's a big accomplishment for me I only view it as the beginning so like now I kind of take the

last nine years and rip up the drawing board and it's just time to restart I'm not trying to you know be fine too high off of it you know what I mean well I mean I I see what you're saying but that at a certain point and I think a lot of people who are creative have this issue is they don't give themselves enough credit sometimes so like obviously you can't just sit there and be like oh you interview Gene Simmons I'll never interview anyone else but it's also I think it's important to acknowledge what you've done I don't know that's what I know I'm acknowledging and I think it's I think you've been on a great run you know I've seen you interview other people and this one was the cherry now yeah you're right now this is you're on the bigger and bigger fucking

things you know right and I mean like I'm certainly appreciative of every single thing like I still interview people that people haven't even heard of at this point just because I'm a fan of what they do and I want to help tell their story so I mean it's not that I don't appreciate it and I'm kind of trying to gloss over it it's just that you know again distractions I feel like if I you know sit here and get fat eating thinking about the fact that I interviewed Gene Simmons is going to distract me from interviewing the next guy and I'm but it does feel good like the past two years it's been hard man I mean I've been banging on the door of all these celebrities like I've been going for Drake I've been going for Wiz Khalifa big guys and for two years straight I would just

get a nose to everybody at a certain point and it you know it pays off to to be persistent that's what I would tell people really like if you watch this morning's yesterday's periscope I said listen every fucking no you get leads to a yes yes I love when I get nose because every fucking no eventually you're gonna bump into a motherfucking yes so that's been that's been my thing since I started comedy I was like people gonna say no to me you know what but I know the more they say no eventually I'll come closer to my yes and brother I've lived it so I can see now that you're living it feels good to be a gangster who's coming up to you it means a lot yeah yeah who's going up there next couple months you're thinking of putting requests in for well the next big one is coming

up on October 24th and it is you're gonna love this two waters oh shit that's right two shows what did you think so what has he said so far I haven't gotten a response yet I only fired off one email but that was even before Gene Simmons came on so I think now that that's happened if I can find someone you know catch their ear to put in a request that might happen because he's been doing a lot of interviews this is a legendary tour for me like with Trump in office and everything and he's doing all the political stuff I mean this is this is going to be a highlight of my youth so I can't wait for this good what are you doing for work now when I contacted you last week you have a job now yeah I'm working full time at least eight hours a day so it's not too too bad uh it's

at a liquor store and it's it's pretty crazy I mean I deal with the fest I deal with a lot of that kind of stuff but it's steady hours and you just got to be careful watch yourself uh are you still taking classes at all anything I'm finished with the Nate stuff right now that's what I was doing over here in Edmonton it was like a six and a half month program it was pretty intensive just like I learned how to work a soundboard in a radio station and just you know the mechanics behind the scenes as well as new on-air techniques so it's super super helpful and we I have the option to go into like a two-year full intensive course for it but I even asked the instructor of the course and he said he doesn't really think it's necessary at this point no good thing you got

more experience than most of the guys that are there now I mean you're fucking living right you know there's that way you want to do stuff with soundboards and well I want to take it to a level where I can kind of branch out and make income off a lot of different things I want to be on some kind of television or serious radio station doing interviews also doing comedy stuff funny bits I also want to branch out my photography because I photograph concerts a lot now as well that's a really good way to make cash you know just these kinds of things I want to to be able to branch out to you know six or seven different things that's really the plan have you connected with Mauricio Alvarado yet I haven't I haven't heard that name before he was

on the podcast the last time Dean Delray was on and he is uh he is you here I have respect I have as much respect for him as I have for you because every month these guys started zero they're taking pictures and they're selling pens so he went into the pen business like you know those pens you you stick on your jean jacket or on a leather jacket and it says like black Sabbath mastery out taking back yeah I was just gonna say taking back to the Sabbath days right so he did all of them and he connected with Sabbath now so he's working with Sabbath on those pens and you know when I talk to you when I see what you're doing I see what he's doing it's like too big you guys are both on the same path he takes fucking phenomenal pictures

then he does an interview then he does a blog holy and it's like the full fucking experience he's always I will definitely have him on my show no problem yeah no no no but I think you guys should connect on a business level okay you guys could be fucking international and huge wow I mean that's how I mean if it's coming from you I'll do it no no no I think you guys are on the same path I think you guys join fucking forces some he's young he's a long-haired fucking Mexican Cuban kid who's out listen he's out six nights a week I think tonight he was going to see the Pesh mode you know he's really out there yeah he's out there he's out every fucking night

press passes for he brings me shit to the economy store I still got his Tony I owe me pictures from the Hollywood Bowl he just sent me a Judas Priest did something at the whiskey without Glenn Tipton and he sent me a few pictures I mean he's just a dynamite fucking kid man but you and him together oh it's like the fucking meddling cartel that's beautiful man I'll definitely reach out to him absolutely what's going on right now man hit me up okay what's going on with the girlfriend I don't have a girlfriend at this time who was that girl I saw you hugging up with and playing Harvey Weinstein with on fucking Facebook that was my girlfriend of two years I decided to end the relationship about a month and a half ago you know I don't you know I don't

have too much comment I mean it's difficult to manage a lot of things in your life especially when you're pursuing a dream so that's really that how old are you now I'm 19 actually on November 5th when do you get your clarity from I mean these I don't know I mean 19 you're full of hormones somebody's licking your nuts once a week and you're eating that asshole and out of nowhere you decide to stop dating them because you want to pursue your career you know how many kids your age do that I mean but it's not too much a long time to be fair I mean I kind of went off the map for like three months okay because you were in love or because big time okay and there's nothing wrong with that for a guy your age so once you fell in love you said this is a little too

deep I still love Black Sabbath more kiss more Gene Simmons more yeah I mean it really went super deep with her and one of the main things that I mean she was really it wasn't even that she was dragging me down to a big point to where it was impossible to get any work done get any episodes done needed that constant attention and when I was flying a Halifax for my vacation because while I was on that vacation across the country we ended up breaking up I listened to you and Steve Simone and Lee and he did the podcast and he was talking about sacrifices and that our conversation pretty much changed my life at the time it was like it really opened my eyes to what needed to be done like it's not a it's not a compromise and there's no time for compromise so that's what needed to be

done you know I'm really happy that you took that conversation to heart I mean I'm sorry that you broke up made you break up with your fucking girlfriend I never liked doing something like that or it wasn't working anyway no no and I understand it but that word to me means so much but to so many fucking people then we ever in their life want to go there and excuse me how a person wouldn't want to sacrifice for what the fuck they love yeah I mean if you don't love it that much clearly that's what that tells me it's like you either want to love it or you feel like people think you should love it but if you love it there shouldn't even be any hesitation at all you know it's uh I'm writing this book I'm putting

these chapters together and I put the proposal together the proposal is done thank you church family for fucking believing in me I'm gonna send it to Gordon tomorrow or Wednesday and get the notes on how I'm no fucking Hemingway which I don't give a fuck I'm happy that I stuck to it and did it for the first time in three years I stuck to my fucking commitment it took me three years to take two and a half months off three to four hours a day correcting shit you know just to do this but right now I'm just writing just to continue a thousand a thousand words a day and today I was writing something that I don't think I should tell you guys but I have to I have to you know I was writing about 1995 and how I had

nothing in my life except this little girl that was five years old and comedy for the first time in my life since the age of 16 something had fucking worked and it was comedy did I have high hopes of being Bill Burr or Louis CK I never thought I'd make it to LA but I knew thousands of guys that never went to LA that were still making a living on the road they weren't getting real rich but at least they weren't stealing or snorting coke and that's all I wanted but when you started comedy did you love it yet or were you just doing it as like a job like at what point did you love no I loved it the first time I got on stage like after I got off I knew that was it I had been high on 20 different types of drugs and I had never felt anything like that and I didn't do well you

know I didn't do well Cassius I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you I gotta say no no no no I was talking about Godzilla and dinosaurs but I knew there was something there and I knew that if I stuck with it that I could probably make a living and sell CDs on the road and live in a car like Charles Bronson I knew I would make money at it but at one point I had nothing in Boulder I mean when I tell you I had nothing in Boulder I had nothing I had a job I had a job that if I wanted to stay I could probably make about 60 grand a year but I didn't want to do that job everybody that did that job ended up fucked up because it was a bad karma job and I know it so all I had was that little fucking beautiful five-year-old girl and stand-up comedy and I had to go with the

stand-up comedy because I was just doing her wrong by being there we were creating too much havoc but stand up to me when I made that decision I knew I was on to something but that was one of the biggest that sacrifice cost me four or five years of my life of crying myself to sleep every night but that was what it would take to get to where I wanted to be and today I'm not where I want to be because I never thought I would end up here anyway I just thought that I would just become a good comic and travel Idaho and you know Montana and fucking there's guys that do it that you've never heard of yeah yeah no I know about that they're the ten times funnier than the guys that are in LA or the guys that you're exposed to there's guys that never leave Chicago that would

come out here and break those clubs in half do you think they're happier they somewhere along the line they're locked up they're scared there's a fear element maybe there's a they don't want to like getting out of their comfort zone you know but that's one thing about you man I saw you with Gene and I'm like this fucking guy is comfortable I mean his little microphone ain't shaking you know his hand ain't shaking I'm glad it comes off that way at least no yeah I mean the cash is you're on to something you're on to something I mean you know you could you know in a year you could pitch Rolling Stone and say hey your magazine sucks ass let's go fucking digital and give me the back page division of concerts pictures you're a one-man show right now I don't know if you know

that brother and if you blog about it the highest work listen you put a Facebook group page together and call it my concert blog and little interviews on there you're a hit bro you got some sponsors you're good to go you quit your fucking liquor store job in a year you commit to that yeah yeah no that's that's the goal and it means really a lot to me to hear that I really just want to take it to new heights and I also just want to show that you don't need a huge corporation you don't need a huge studio you don't need to be co-signed by big businesses to get your word out there to get paid from your home to be your own boss to be you know the ringleader behind the show I do have one collaborator his name is Jesse Yon Fong and me and him are going to be hitting LA in December

and doing some work he's born and raised out there we're gonna make sure you come into the studio what's that you're gonna come in and see us and do a bunk hit with us finally it would be an absolute honor I've been training as you would call it I've been training to meet you guys with the reefer so we got to do that oh I'm so fucking excited listen man you've uh you've made me a fan you know I'm a fan of yours you've made me believe in the system I'm happy that my beliefs are still alive that there's still people who don't give a fuck yeah this is what I want to do and I don't give a fuck you know what I'm gonna do I got three thousand in the bank my rent is 750 a month that means I'm good for three months and a couple

fucking groceries I'm gonna start blogging taking pictures I'm gonna put all the concert tickets on a fucking visa card and I'm gonna take a chance and I'm gonna take a chance I got uh some gold my mother got some bonds that my grandmother left me and that's my emergency fund I'm going for this and if you really go for something like that like what you're doing pictures a blog boom and get a couple sponsors to your page it's endless like I said what how many people really buy rolling stone magazine is it online rolling stone magazine I'm sure some form of it is yeah you know I would yeah they have a website with articles yeah I would just attack them right now and go listen you're like that fucking almost famous guy you know he's 80 16 right and you're like the almost

famous guy you're like whatever Cameron well cash I said that movie's great at this point you probably won't even need a job when you move to LA but for something in LA that's frustrating for me is and just for a lot of people in our end industry is you have to do everything like so it's amazing that you already are doing that with the pig like when you apply for jobs where you see job posting is out there now for even entry-level PA jobs they want you to know how to take pictures do graphic design video editing audio and you have to be a one-man crew are you serious they want you to know graphic design everything I mean for the ones I was applying to and like there are some that like they're just putting it on there to hope that you

have it but yeah they want you to know everything they want you know all these programs they want you to have a reel from a very young age so the fact that you have Gene Simmons on your reel like that they just do 30 seconds of that and Paul says on your reel some of the bigger ones I've had was Eric singer of kiss I had Tommy Chong recently I talked to Carly Ray Jepsen and rest in peace John Dunsworth I did two interviews with him one of them was about three months ago and he passed today but he was one of the biggest ones from Taylor Park boys rest in peace John you're really out there man what are the concerts are you looking forward to see that are coming to you area one of the biggest ones that I'm looking forward to

seeing is Jay-Z I mean I'd never in a million years thought I would see Jay-Z but they built a really crazy state-of-the-art arena at Edmonton now it's actually the number one arena in North America so all of a sudden we're just getting a flood of artists that we never got to see before like we got tool recently I saw them for the first time life changing yeah it's it's been really fun out here Edmonton is really a good place to be for what I'm doing and I try to take full advantage of it I'll tell you what's going to be life changing is Roger Waters Tuesday night oh yeah I'm going with my sister and possibly even my mother who loves Roger Waters in the 10th grade and is just it's going to be beautiful Ari went and Ari called me that night fucking blown away and I had to

calm him down like I had to explain to him he couldn't understand and I told him I had to go listen that's 40 fucking years we're doing comedy 20 think of 40 fucking years how sharp you are right when the dark side of the moon come up I mean that's not their first out 72 I think 75 right I think okay is it 75 73 what is it sorry you'll tell us 73 more flying you first tell us yeah 73 so before that I think it was like they had like the first album is Piper at the gates of dawn and then they had a couple of them after that the first time I really heard them was with money was dark side of the moon and then I got infactuated and I went and bought Omegama by mistake but that took me that was a little weird

and then I write then I bought wish you were here and then animals and then you know I was waiting for fucking the wall to come out like I was right there so I think of the wall I think of what he did to me with the wall and reality the wall made me not want to see anything ever again yeah like that's how good when I saw it in 1980 February of 1980 I was blown the fuck away yeah I did some fucking double barrel sunshine acid or whatever the fuck I was doing that'll help I did a bunch of drugs for that but he was they were phenomenal they had taken me somewhere else that I had never been before and entertainment and I saw everybody except Led Zeppelin and like Deep Purple but I saw everybody

from that 70s crew I didn't see Elton John I don't think I think I saw Elton John years later but not in that when he was throwing heat when I was a kid Pink Floyd took me and opened my head that night like it took me three or four nights to get over it and I can't imagine that was 1980 is what 37 fucking years ago if he was that sharp back then what is he gonna be like this time around it's gonna be a next level type of show I mean it's very public how much Trump stuff is gonna be in this show and again it just it speaks on the time that the times that we're in and that's what I love about Roger Waters I mean back in 70 72 73 they were pushing the boundaries talking about politicians in a negative light when it was frowned upon and like you said 40 years he's still doing

that he's still pushing those buttons and standing up for what he believes in and he's touring across America I mean this guy has the balls of Dr. Dre on a Tuesday you know so his his uh when you say that his concert involves a lot of Trump stuff what's he doing on there oh he's doing everything I mean when he's doing pigs saying you know charade you are he's showing Trump up on the screens and he's got Trump on the pig floating around the arena hilarious yeah hilarious it's the real deal hilarious see if Roger Waters is coming to Los Angeles just I think you should really go because I was honestly I was really hoping you'd go to Black Sabbath and I think that you really should out of respect for them yeah and then end yourself I know you love that stuff

you know man uh I was leery of concerts you know like I said I saw everybody I think now the price the prices they charge you to park yeah I fucking hate that shit you know I fucking hate that shit I'm going to go to a concert with Lee and it's going to cost me 50 just a fucking park you know like at a UFC event or a Nicaragua event or my friends go to see the Nats of the Yankees it's fucking up there to park you know and that all that shit takes away after this thing in Vegas three weeks ago I really got to look at the situation you know I'm thinking of going to a World Series game for the Dodgers I'm thinking of bringing my daughter and then any concerned citizen would have to think well what's it going to be like at the World Series is there going to

be a fucking mass shooter or something like this at a fucking game now so this lingers in the back of your mind you know I don't know how bad it is up in Canada but you know this this last Vegas thing really it took me three days to get over it no yeah no it's terrible and we felt the effects of it here in Canada I know after the thing in the UK with Ariana Grande I went to the first concert in Edmonton after that was the chili peppers and security was so so tight you know that was the night that like I kind of guess I made the wrong moves in the photo fit and I basically got attacked and thrown out of there like everybody was really on edge but you know we feel for everybody involved yeah that's for sure Jesus Christ I can't imagine going to a concert

now and trying to fucking relax at least for me I'm not gonna lie to anybody at least for me a concert for me is to fucking take two edibles and smoke some dope and I'm not gonna drink oh yeah I'm gonna pay fucking attention cashers but it's to sit there and watch the guitar player and feel the power from the drums when I heard that that dude on stage and I heard that fucking machine gun going off I'd fucking have an anxiety attack and faint I would never dream of getting hit at a fucking concert like that yeah I've seen fist fights at concert I've seen Stephen Tyler get punched in the face in Jersey at the soap factory I've seen some fucked up shit at concerts I never heard a 60 people getting shot man and I'm sorry if you're listening to this I

still haven't gotten over this man I still haven't known what national tragedy and let me tell you something when I was on stage a couple times this week I actually caught myself looking at the light like going is this somebody pointing you know like this this stays in your mind man when you're up on stage when you're out in public whether you're at a horse track you know so but I promise you that if Roger Waters is coming to town what's the daily he was here in June unfortunately well he'll do a second half to the tour he likes his fucking paper if he comes I promise you that I will try to go see him because I want to go after Ari called me that excited I felt like fuck I fucked up again absolutely yeah no I totally understand though and you saw all these guys in

their heyday back in the 70s so I understand that there's probably not the same urgency that I feel having never seen any inclusion of these bands but I feel like if you went you'd probably uh thank yourself you know what man but I think you're gonna get a better version than I got how fucking scary is that that guy's pretty well 70 how old is he 70 67 if I'm 54 he's got a he's got to have me by 15 fucking years I'll just rock him into 68 so he must be must be older than Gene Simmons wow how long was your interview total with him it was five and a half minutes just because he seemed so incredibly exhausted from his big weekend and I was honored to even just be be there I didn't want to push it you know you got to respect people's time so no ace freely

no he totally kibosh that and actually when he opened the curtain to tell the people outside the curtain to be quiet I thought he was walking out because I asked him that question now let me answer this have you ever reached out to ace freely I have so many times me too and he totally said no have you he doesn't even answer me if he said no to you at least you're lucky he's 74 I would love to see him on you guys's show oh my I think I would have a heart attack just a laughter I would laugh every time I hear his interviews I fucking laugh my ass off I think he's the funniest person in the world to me he's so real and he's so let loose that's what you have to be like to be a really good comedian and since he doesn't do it for a living and he's been doing it being a crack

up all his life he's so fucking good at it now yeah no he's totally next level he was the true rock star of kiss he was the only one who really was out there you know eating those gorilla biscuits the bazookas and you know he was really out there with the women and everything and he he did it big you know the other members of kiss had the music but they didn't have that I told you that when I lived in bolder when I went back to bolder to get my life together in 94 I was working for a sports betting service and I had a friend Sammy and I was tight with Sammy Sammy was a pimp and shit he had like a 30 he was 30 and his girlfriend was 50 but a family only like nine Chinese restaurants somewhere in the fucking country so he was living at home driving a Porsche and shit but

him and her had and she's dead god rest her soul she was one of the sweetest women I've ever met in my life when I was dead broke cash this day would call me at the house and go we're going on a date to a movie theater we left the door open come over we made you fucking Chinese food watch your favorite movie and wait for us it was it was mind boggling and one night they just happened to rip out you know I don't know how many pictures of them went ace freely in Connecticut holy all right and I mean I mean you had to see them he was probably like uh you know you know like ace freely was doing a ton of drugs and he would just talk to anybody he ended up hanging out with Sammy for about two or three years and they became tight and Sammy never took a picture

of it because he was embarrassed but he said he was in his car many a time and if you opened up the glove compartment he would have a slide out mirror in there nobody's ever done that I've never heard of anybody doing that why would Sammy make that up you know I I didn't see it but why would Sammy make that up I mean he had pictures of him at a table with beers everywhere and fucking mirrors doing coke with Sammy I mean you know Sammy was a heavy dude and ace freely was and I heard that ace was just crazy and that's how I got into ace like I said I listened to kiss when I was 12 and 11 but my buddy died and I promised him I would never listen to kiss again until I saw him again in heaven but I cheated recently I remember hearing that yeah I cheated recently I put rock and roll

along what's that one rock and roll over maybe yeah oh my god that was yeah I want you and all that shit that's my shit yes and kiss alive which uh the last couple days of today was the 40th anniversary which makes it around right I was 14 so yeah kiss a lot yeah yeah you need to check out ace fraily's 1978 solo album just sit back give yourself an hour and be blown away what's the name of the album it's just called ace fraily back in this in 78 they I'm sure you remember they all released their own kiss solo albums on the same day so all four originals competed and ace by a landslide was the craziest album you had like psychedelic jimmy hendrix type stuff really won't disappoint okay no no I'm a fan of his so so what's next

cash brother no I know you a dog listen I am a huge fan of yours I have the utmost respect for you you know even now tonight after you told me that you dumped a girlfriend nobody who was 19 dumps a little monkey a lot hot little piece of ass for fucking some fucking faggy podcast career but you did it brother and I got a lot of respect for you and I went through all the best you did no I have you remain friends with her no there's no need for that cold blooded caches morris jesus christ love him and leave him I mean do you want to be at the top or not no listen this is what I tell Lee all the time Lee thinks I'm buckling around here thank god you came on the show Lee thinks I play games and I make these mind things up that there's a point in your life where you

really have to do inventory for me I mean you're doing at 19 which I mean my heart goes out to you you're a fucking savage I didn't do anything like that till I got into comedy but then it's weird you start there's people you push away just because you know that you can't even get close to why would I even instigate this I'm gonna leave $50 on the thing so she could buy a bracelet and I'm just splitting you know I'm saying why that then you get this power you really get this power once you fall in love with what you're doing that you start saying no to a lot of things yeah and that's when you go to a complete different level in your life in your career once you start sacrificing the things you love I really love football but if I can make 250 on a fucking Sunday

and get the education I want to go where I need to go this is what I'm gonna do and when you do like three or four of them once you once you show yourself you could go without that's one of the strongest things that you'll ever feel in your life like when I went to prison when I went to prison bro I thought I was gonna kill myself after two days with no marijuana but the truth was after a week yeah I had insomnia and yeah I had some type of withdrawal and you know but let me tell you something I lived and my body learned how to sleep without marijuana and I did just fucking fine would I do it today no there's no need to it's funny there's no need I spoke to Duncan today he's flying in next week and I go are you gonna see anybody he goes fuck no I'm staying away

from those sober fucks I died a fucking laughter he goes I've been getting high on month he goes I've been getting high all month gashes man I gotta tell you something I'm really proud of you I'm a fan and keep doing what you're doing thank you so how long you gonna be in LA for how long you're gonna be down here I'm hoping to go down there for a week and we're hoping to just cram in a ton of work a ton of promotion for the cashless Morris show getting the iTunes page pop and YouTube page pop and just keeping our goals at the number one being the number one focus and thank you guys again for having me on Lee I love you man no you have to go hold on so you'll be here for a week okay no let's do it where you staying at I'm not sure yet we haven't even got to booking yet we're just

starting to plan the trip and plan the spots that we want to hit right now okay well listen this is one of the spots I like that oh you can't even go to the commie store I can't 19 yeah and what about the ice house it didn't then wasn't there something that someone had to do like have security bring them in to do the spots or something maybe we could get like a maybe maybe yeah but cash isn't doing the spot okay that's true cash is to come I was thinking about the underground podcast studio where is that in the in the store that might work we might get you down in the daytime I could talk to Eleanor absolutely brother that'll be great anything I could do to help you like I said you get a lot of my respect you're a you're a fucking giant amongst amongst kids your age

and amongst people a lot older than yeah yeah wow so whatever we could do for you here at the church you got it brother happy halloween the fact thank you so much uncle joey the fact that you guys have been there since day one really means a lot like you were the first episode of my non-kiss podcast and you believe in me from day one so that will always mean the world to me trust me you know I don't fuck around brother I see heart when I I know heart when I see it so thank you for calling in and keep doing what you're doing absolutely and I hope everybody checks out the cash is more a show and we have a new episode coming out tonight with comedian drew Bame so check it out people so I'm talking about always promoting on the way out this kid's a savage that's why I love him where's

some Tony Bennett kid absolutely much love you guys thank you take care buddies bye bye bye some somebody twice as smart as I or somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me you get some shout outs real quick to you fucking sandwiches laun rose and come I mean Jason Sullivan Dave Belmonte my man Gino who gave me the cd Lorenzo Toledo you know I love your brother I'm sorry I didn't see you down there Scott Carpenter fucking paranoid album the weather gave me the album thank you my girl fire god is Beth my man Leon and listen my brother Bobby Sharon and Crystal have a podcast what's it called

now I'm Cobra cast Cobra cast it's up for an award it's up for an award if you live in the Texas area Austin do me a favor look them up and what's going on I'm all right okay look the fuck you're breaking my shit for you don't I forget look up Bobby Sharon's podcast Cobra cast and vote for it he's family he does a great job with the fucking podcast and he's one of the sweetest guys I know and crystal fucking dynamite too so do me a favor give you the Texas area I think you have to live in Austin if you live in Austin go over there and help my brother out number two I'll see you motherfuckers in January number three and number three Danny Brown is down there and he said that when we go down there now we got a Chinese joint together oh shit it's a rapper guy that we're gonna

cook Chinese food and he goes it ain't chance but it's damn close and they got egg rolls and everything so when we go to Austin in January you're gonna get your dream they eat some good Chinese food Austin I'm so excited is it like a Chinese rapper or I don't fucking know I didn't ask particulars cock sucker don't forget Thursday night comedy on Broadway Lexington Kentucky Louisville all you motherfuckers in Kentucky Paduca I'll be seeing you cock suckers down there don't forget about me I'm excited to go back to Lexington number two what was I gonna say to you guys that was uh I almost had a heart attack talking to that fucking young kid cashers Morris he's a great kid well I would never think of dumping some chick for my fucking career in 19 when

we're 19 I know I know men today I know 50 year old men that have no fucking control you know that they don't see like they can't weigh the balance between what's the important thing in your life and how to get the most out of both and this 19 year old kid it's listen man every once in a while you bump into people that uh let you know your beliefs is still alive I went to Tampa and I became friend I asked this dude where's the best Cuban sandwich he told me El Duque whatever restaurant El Segundo restaurant and I go you're Cuban we started talking but he was talking to me in English I go how long you been here because I just got here in January I go you know English already goes yeah I fucking took a class a 90 day class and now I study at home and I learned

talking to the people here I go how'd you get this job he doesn't got this job he was the head he goes I started as a maintenance man then the guy on top of me quit so now I run the department nine fucking six months he's been there nine months he's been in the country six months he's had a job there he bought a car he got a driver's license he's got some type of apartment only him and his wife came he doesn't have any kids when I hear shit like that that somebody did that my fucking head blows up he's he was his Spanish he wasn't no fucking you know no no no stand-up comic but I understood what he was saying and he had a little paper with him just in case he got stuck and he wanted to say a word he had like a little fucking dick a little cheat sheet or

something like a little cheat sheet so that was pretty impressive to see it sometimes like if I see so like I saw some homeless people the other night the other night and I just started thinking I was like I don't know if I have the strength to be homeless so in other situations like for like a guy fucking end up homeless obviously got no fucking strength well that's number one number two being homeless there's various reasons that's true when you like there's a guy that lives under the bridge on Magnolia that right he's been there for fucking 90 days you know when you stop there you could tell he's on meth like he probably lives in the bushes at night but I was thinking I'm under the bridge when we finished a podcast sometime and I go for a drive down to 7-11 or something

you know there's various fucking reasons right and mental health is definitely one of the issues and I don't look down I see I see them as stronger than me because I just and it's been people from Cuba like if I had to go somewhere where I didn't speak the language I've always been terrible at speaking languages I don't it's something that I think I would avoid for that reason well in that part that guy you meant probably came here for a hopefully better life yeah no that's it's a dream right it's like Cassius Morris it's like whatever listen you can't imagine being homeless no to your homeless listen you don't know what it's like when you're in a bar till three and you're dreading three because you gotta find the place to go

I did that leave for about five weeks total you know I did it for like seven or eight days then I got a place to stay for a while I would have a hotel room and then there was like fucking I don't know how many days in a row so that went to that fucking thing and then I would take a night off and go to a hotel and warm up for a night and then get another 42 the house to stay an extra night but I'd be back in that fucking rocket ship and let me tell you something there's not a night you know why I like it called that night why to remind me I would have felt like those nights when I slept out there like to remind me what they fucking felt like is it even possible for you to forget I don't think no I never forgot that it wasn't sexual abuse it wasn't mental abuse

it was self-inflicted addiction abuse when your addiction is so bad that you don't care about your fucking sleeping habits you're sleeping arrangement sorry about that that's what it was you know how sad that is I fucking wouldn't pay six hundred dollars because I'd rather put it in my nose wait so that first night or whatever and maybe not even that first night whenever it hit you that you were homeless what was that like you don't want to think about it you don't think about it you just play along and a fantasy becomes in your head and just like I wanted to be a comic and cash is you have this fantasy that you're gonna bump into eight hundred dollars and get like a fucking apartment someday so that's what keeps you alive you know you go wild next week it's gonna be warm

you know like that's how I looked at it's gonna be warm otherwise we'll spend the unblow when I think about that time it makes me want to fucking puke but I learned a lot sleeping on that tear on that metal I learned a lot about myself you know come on man after those nights I would cry myself to sleep but then I'd pick myself up and I'd finish my coke and I'd jerk off again and I'd pass out and wake up the next morning and then I'd promise myself that was the last time I was gonna sleep in that rocket ship but by four o'clock you know I knew I was gonna sleep in a rocket ship at least somebody would say to me where you've been sleeping at and I go out of friends house or something you know but you could stay here that's the only way I would have gave it

but after a while I didn't want to stay with people no more because I was just going to fuck up our friendship it was easier for me to stay at that rocket ship and just stop by your house when your parents ain't home brush my teeth wash my face comb my hair maybe jump and get a hot shower and it was a lot easier for me than staying with somebody like that's how bad it got like I would just cause havoc in your house were you were you even enjoying cocaine at this point I was enjoying it a lot so it's even fun even when you're homeless it makes that fun what listen I was homeless for 10 hours of my day so for 14 hours stop with that fucking bottle already by that mic I'm sorry so for 14 hour you're the producer you know I didn't mean I didn't mean that's not

the third time you did it cocksucker with that creepy bottle these bottles blow to this we gotta get I got a different kind this time we'll see thank you for getting it though you're a savage it was I just didn't I don't know I still remember the feeling of that metal with the ridges on it have you ever seen when you go on a kids playground how the metal stuff has ridges even the rubber stuff now has ridges on every time I look at those ridges I get flashbacks of those nights when I go home at night I put my sleep apnea mask on and the fans blown and it's cold in there already and I cover my head for five seconds that feeling comes back and my body goes like you check to make sure you're in the house like I had like a fucking

hooded sweatshirt with like a winter jacket with gloves and that's how I would sleep I would clean the spot off with my jeans and my shoe I would take my sock off and clean it my feet would be drenched and stinky from having the same shoes on all day so I take my shoes off and socks to give them there I'd fucking wake up in the middle of night my feet would be icicles because remember I slept out there like a little bit after Halloween and then I got my act together but then I went back out there the two weeks after like I started sleeping in like two days before Christmas I finally got a place I said you know what I cannot spend Christmas in a fucking rocket ship I don't know for people who don't live on the east coast it was probably

19 in the in the single digits when you were sleeping outside in December you know till this day I don't know what the fuck they're talking about we're frostbite but that year I'm gonna tell you something that year I'm not gonna lie it was a mild winter it was a mild winter and it picked up like it picked up after I got in the hotel thank god you know the the holidays are usually mild in the east coast you get a couple of winter spurts before that like I could see in the Yankee game tonight they already had winter jackets on but there's that little warm spirit you know when you'll call me from Boston and go it's seven degrees and it really is but right after Christmas it just drops into January and that's when I wasn't in the rocket ship I'm not gonna lie to you about

that thank god that was when it was brutal remember the night I left North Bergen I went to bed and maybe four Lee you know maybe four in a hotel room and when I woke up at eight there was a foot of fucking snow on the ground and I had to walk the path mark with my sneakers and I was sick and come back and then I had to lose the drug dealer you have no fucking idea and then mr. T came who I did not call when I was in fucking Tampa this weekend because you know what mr. T lives in Sarasota my teacher who saved my life he it's an hour away so that means he would have had a drive an hour to me watch the show and then drove an hour back I should have just got him a hotel room but I didn't think about as I was on the fucking plane home that dude saved

my life on January 1st 1985 he got me out of the rocket ship and I ended up staying with him and his family and now his two kids one of them is a honcho for CBS so every time he comes in the town I meet him by water brothers and we go to lunch and shouldn't talk about his father that's crazy weren't you with us the one that yeah Nick I don't know whether in front of the county store and we're talking about my teacher who didn't blow with this shit probably that was neck that was a son yeah that that was uh you know I wouldn't I wouldn't say I was who the fuck knows what my head was at late when I was sleeping in that rocket ship I'm being up there one night and having like three grams of coke and having like a party up there four in the morning by myself and people would drive by

like in those days if you were if you got a bag of coke and you were at a bar before you went home if you lived uptown you drove down 88th Street Park because you knew people were out they're going to be parked there like there was a couple spots in north bergen at that time there was the code factory in the park yeah we drink at a bar till three all right you snort coke at a bar till three and then you'd go to a park 88th Street Park 67th Street there was the code factory or 64th Street field and I would park behind you and I'd get in the car with you and we'd have a mirror out and we get beers and we just drink beers and snort coke in the car and then every like 20 minutes somebody has to get out to pee you know that's a fucking nightmare so you're out

there freezing yeah dog we used to snort coke outside in cars but the famous spot was the code factory on 67th and cottage avenue if you go back there today I guarantee your fine code came back there today left there from 30 fucking years ago somewhere and there was an upper lot and a lower okay so it was a code factory that's been there forever in fact one of those houses across the street is where the ice man lived right 1960 fucking six that's where he was first married that's where he fucking lived on that street 67th and cottage looking up cocksuckers we don't believe me but that that was the main cocaine spot okay the code factory when somebody said where am I meeting you at 330 me behind the code factory and there was a lower level and there was a higher

level and if I described this to you Lee you would not believe it it would be five cars parked back there parked decently and everybody in those cars doing cocaine if the weather was warm you get out outside and drink beer and one of the cars had a mirror in the trunk with coke in the fucking mirror where were the cops the cops would drive by every once an hour but as long as we weren't making noise and nobody was doing anything we knew the cops it wasn't how it is now that they'd pull in on you or nothing like that jeez I still remember being on fucking this space to be an amp parking lot like 80 something in bergeline avenue when I just graduated I dropped out high school but the year I was supposed to graduate me and the guys I graduated with

we're getting high one time at the amp parking lot with the coke mirror on top of the hood of the car right out in the open like nothing what time of the day 11 30 at night with trade on the bergeline avenue was the main fucking street in north bergen I'm lying to you no no no no no it was late I'll tell you why I remember because we were parked in the parking lot and I mean we weren't parked in the spot we were parked where somebody would drive like we didn't give a fuck all right we didn't they would shut the lights out behind pathway and at least unless you really looked in there you couldn't really see anybody unless there was 20 cars if there was one car and four people standing outside with beers

they wouldn't pull over but if there was like 20 people and five cars they pull over if you stop the amp parking lot right so you went in like a couple cars right so this night there was just four of us with one car with the mirror on top of the hood of the fucking car and we're doing cocaine outside and we're giggling we're having a nice time and we see this guy walking like with no shirt on there's some shit I don't forget I don't I don't remember all the particulars and in that time we used to fuck with people right we used to call them over and talk to them and tell them are you with this guy the guy wouldn't know what you were talking about and shit so we go over there and we start talking to the guy and one of my friends tells them listen do you mind if we suck your dick

and the guy don't know what to do this poor bastard this guy was half a momo as it was and now we give him a beer we make him feel at home and my friend says listen what do you think you think we can suck your dick and this guy starts panicking and shit he runs he runs down the street the beer falls out of his hand and the next thing you know he fucking waves down a cop car right there as he's running out of the parking lot a cop car season he's like hello hello those kids over there they want to suck my dick and shit so oh fuck so my friend Pallie Roger it was his car so he jumped in the car and started and put the car in reverse in the mirror it's a little off the parking lot it's a little off the hood

the mirror slid off the hood and the glass it wasn't a mirror it was a an inch piece of glass we had robbed his house and it was a fucking designer robbed his house no no no we had robbed our house oh god you know how you have a bed stand right these were the two bed stands but they were locked so in those days if i came in your house and something was locked and i didn't have the right tools i took it to go so we took both bed stands wait you see you took a nightstand like a nightstand like the ones that are sitting next to your bed you just took it picked it up went downstairs kind of damn it but the beauty of it was that they had a piece of glass on it that was about an inch thick at about 18 inches across each way it was just a square you know

right and i said fucking i'll take the whole thing okay and i took both fucking bed i used to take everything in those days like no i didn't know we i didn't fucking know like i didn't know so let's say i go into your house and there's a safe right like after like 1982 right before i went to colorado the first time ever i met this dude in north bergen i met him to a friend the dealer renzo's oh no that's that's fucking the way you said that's not good the dealer renzo the dealer renzo's there was kurt christy fish and fucking bonehead good that's always good this is one of the stories of bonehead okay so bonehead's family knew this guy so i became friends of him and we were talking he's the one that used to give me jobs to case joints out like warehouses and he

taught me a couple things when i go so if the safe way you know if you can't break into the safe right what are you doing he knows we take it to go and then we figure it out he goes there's a guy over in the city of the 10% he'll crack your safe he's like a guy in development so you might take a while maybe eight ten hours but there's another guy that wants 25% and he'll break into any safe for four hours for you so all you need to do is take the safe to go and no figure it out once you get it home but you can't bring it home because sometimes they have those detectors on them you know i'm saying beep beep so you gotta take him to the warehouse the guy's gotta be waiting you gotta bust it open and dump the fucking safe so much planning goes into it i guess that's why i started

taking shit anything i couldn't get into if you locked it there must have been something in their valley that was my fucking philosophy god damn it what do you god damn it about well no it's like you think you think you're protected they sell all this stuff protect yourself no if i go into your house and you have a little tin okay like a little tin box like a fishing box and it's got the combination on it and you've got cash in there and maybe some blow do you know any of those things i took when i was robbing 400 and i could not believe how people really thought that somebody wouldn't figure it out that they just take the box oh yeah do with those things yeah just get a screwdriver and just fucking stick one and on one end and one on the other end and just go in the wrong

opposite direction and those things would bust fucking open when your heart's beating then you want that cocaine i would be like i'd have to strength the fucking 10 hooks i would stick two fucking uh steady screwdrivers the thick ones and just pull the opposite direction and those boxes pop right open and you're just letting me know where everything is i'm gonna take the whole box to go so if you got a house and you got one of those boxes do me a favor put four hundred in there and leave it at that and leave it open so when the kid does come in your house and he gets the four hundred that's all he thinks he got because that's your secret compartment you got another place hidden inside a closet behind two suits in the wall that's where you

have your 9500 in case there's an earthquake in case you got to make a move that's where you got your birth certificate that's where you have the other thing you know that's how you are a bullet if you're a coke dealer if lee knows i sell fucking ounces and i know lee's a thief i'm always going to leave an eight ball out so if the guy comes in in a rush he finds an eight ball and he goes i'd rather you take an eight ball than you take four ounces from me i would come into people's houses and they have all the coke together like an asshole that they were sometimes they got hip and they separated the pure shit from the cut shit but i'd find it i wouldn't even do that i'd leave two piles of cut shit out for them one with a little rock

and you always leave 200 for the mouse because you got to assume the guy who's breaking into your house is an amateur and he's racing against the clock so if i see lee go and i see that he pulls into subway sandwich i run up to your house kick the fucking door down run into your bedroom open up your drawers open up your bureaus i'm gonna find something in your bureaus and i'm gonna find something in your little fucking faggy bedstand you're gonna have something hidden in one closet and something hidden on the other you're always gonna have little bites for them so they think they want but your big bites are really really hidden good and did you only learn this or come up with this because of your experiences i learned this from being a thief right i thought it was the

dumbest things with people if you have a safe and it's locked it tells me you have something i'm taking the fucking thing i don't have anything in my house but it's if i could take the thing i'll take the thing to go now it's very difficult it's easier said than done where they parked the car when i came up here i didn't know there was a safe in lee's house he was on the second floor i gotta walk down a set of stairs or get on an elevator he said subway sandwich what if he pulls up as i'm walking out of his house with his fucking safe fucking christ so you're always racing against the clock so if you're an amateur or you're a junkie like i was and i'm a drug dealer you break into my house i'm gonna leave little things for you so you think you want if i'm a four ounce

every couple day fucking dealer and i do a little bit of blow two nights a week and i fucking go to new york city i like a like let's say i live in north bergen and i go over the bridge to new york city and my sister lives with me so she watches but on this night she went shopping you have that time window to break into my house you're gonna go in there out fast if i tell you i'm leaving for a weekend oh i'm dead you're gonna find my loot because only an idiot wouldn't you got the whole weekend lee's is san diego he told a friend of mine he was in san diego let's bust into his house would he go to bars on like scouting missions no you put somebody to follow him and then you'd call him at the bar or something and make sure he was there or he'd call

you at a payphone and then i would put you at a payphone across the street from the place i was robbing so when i kicked in the door the first thing i would do is spot you okay i'd be watching you so every every two things i do every bedroom i go into the bedroom i get something i come out and i watch you if you're still clear i go into a closet if you're still clear i go into a bedroom bathroom if i come out and you're waving your hands that means get the fuck out of there so the more time you give me if i have a spotter the more time i have in your room in two minute intervals so in two minute intervals i could look at your room and i could know the side of your activity how often would you have a spotter if i robbed five things maybe twice if it was if i thought

that there was going to be people uh money in there like a kilo of coke or something and i never got nothing like that it was all my imagination they would have a few ounces of six grand or 1800 cash and was it all for drugs it was easy money leah easy money leah was easy money i found you take when i lived in bold and snow mass village with jimmy berkel okay you know i was bored and i watched drug dealers patterns and i was raised with drug dealers okay and i know good drug dealers are brilliant fucking people how they their job is not to be obvious right and their job is to deter you so even if you get to them you're not getting that shit okay so number one the drug dealers i grew up with always moved their

mother or their wife's mother in the house that means there's always somebody there yeah she may leave on thursdays to go shopping but on those days you purposely stay at home did she know she's security or no she has no fucking clue that she's even there she has no clue why she's there and you're giving the 300 a week to stay and you know guys are easy yeah pay for her bingo and shit at night so you get her out of bingo at night that's when you do your drug dealing and now people know your grandmother's there all night they're not gonna try to bust into your house that's number one number two you don't put the drug thing else the drugs are never in your house i go to you i pay your rent and i come over once a week i weigh my shit i'll call you you

tell me paul is not over i come over i throw you a little envelope i take my coke out of your spare paul knows nothing how long does that last for like are you worried about neighbors seeing you too much not really i'll switch it out i'll have you and two other people gotcha you know you get a skinny girl that took down coke a grandma week you go over there bang her and stash your shit in the safe over there that she can't get a filthy pause she tries all week yeah no trial week but you just get a girlfriend and stash your coke at her house there's so many fucking ways you know but when you're dealing in that level first of all you don't want the drugs in your house so you don't have access to them if you come home at night from the bar you don't want to have

two ounces in your house when you bring some fucking blonde chick home you want to make sure for you to get that coke there has to be a struggle you got to wake somebody up you got to embarrass yourself you know what i'm saying so you'll put it in somebody who you know i can't knock on paul's door three in the morning i know i can't wake lee up at three in the morning beside that leaves one of my partners so i don't want him to know i do coke anyway that's why i give him the coke at night but once paul leaves i go over that eight in the morning i pick up my shit lee makes me breakfast we bullshit we talk about activities for the day and then that night i drop it off again there's a fucking milk box and he pulls it inside his house well something like that you know i'm

just telling you like right you you haven't even mentioned the police yet all right like is any of this worrying you i'm worried for you right now why because i don't want anyone to go out of the jails the like the the ultimate uh whatever it's called uh what it makes you not want to do it i don't know what deterrent deterrent yeah it's what i'm telling them talking about deterrent well jail would be a deterrent to me to do i mean obviously everyone wants to make quick money but though i think that's the reason everyone or most people probably don't sell drugs if like and like and like even a moral like that's really the reason like some people probably hate drugs so that's part of it but if you knew you weren't gonna go to jail for some bro drugs to

sell drugs is the easy way out we all know that when i did it i didn't even make money i was such a fucking loser so i decided to be a bottom feeder and rob drug dealers you know that that's all it was i learned how to do all that shit you look at movement you look at a lot of fucking things but uh am i proud of it no but that's who i was then and it made me who i am today so you can't back and cry fuck it they probably learned a lot of lessons but now i know how to deter your house from fucking burglaries yeah i so you have like hidden compartments i'm not gonna ask you where they are but no i don't have nothing in my house because i have my wife and kid over there and i got the rings and i got no okay but you're not worried about people breaking in oh you always

have to be worried that's why i got the cameras and the fucking the thing with the fucking ring in front that you could read that that ring is fucking tremendous yeah it's very cool that ring adds a whole new thing to it so the guy next door run and his wife right we're talking to my wife and they said terry bought the things that her son-in-law would install it oh very nice so he came over about a week ago when i was there and he was there for a couple hours i got him high we got some gumbo form and shit some jambalaya and uh even when i'm in the road i gotta install the app but now you have cameras all around the place yeah now you this is the future this is it you have to know you know and you know what the main thing is people stealing your boxes yeah my wife fucking

lives off amazon you know i'm home if i'm home four hours in the daytime that doorbell rings twice bing bong and then you go out and there's nobody there and you look down there's a box that happens twice a fucking day at my house it's all the time yeah it's all the time i get we get toilet paper delivered so i had that issue with my phone a couple weeks ago we've been there a year and they've knocked on the door three times already asking us if we saw a car at one o'clock jesus so i just said wait a second i saw the commercial for ring and i saw the improvement they made listen man it's not a it could save your life i'm not it's not it's not better than a fucking gun right but listen when i pull up in my house you think i'm a fucking convict lights

pop on from everywhere it's crazy my dad loved those lights yeah lights pop on from everywhere so listen we live in different times the house came with on the arm and we upgraded it with the whole fucking thing you know you have to be careful now you have to think about it you have to so it's a different world it's a different fucking world and that's how it goes don't forget this weekend lexington kentucky thursday eight o'clock no seven fifteen show this is early i get you motherfuckers out of there early in the weekend it's like seven fifteen and nine or something your dream yeah on my dream when i get back early on a sunday morning it's gonna be a

fucking party jack we got a great week we got a great couple weeks danny brown called today we got wheeler walker we got fucking uh jay larson next week promoting this fucking show that's great about comics in the beginning with the tapes and shit it seems interesting as fuck you know i don't like none of that shit but that shit blew me away i think that's a brilliant idea i won't even give it up anymore so stay tuned cocksuckers but this is it it's the tuesday morning podcast let me just hear me out for a second just because i got you right listen to holidays a company you want to look sharp you bump into some chick at the office you take a bag you want those little white underwear with the little skid mugs and stuff it's 2017 you gotta up your underwear game me on these makes you

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joey number two listen like i said the holidays are coming you want to you got to work for some employees you want to get rid of you know i'm saying you got dead skin you want to start the year off good you're looking to hire people you're looking to upgrade your business whether it's small or large you're looking to make a move all right but you need great talent for your business but you're short on time you don't have to you know you don't have to get lost in a huge stack of resumes to find your perfect hire all you need to do is have the right tools smarter tools so if you're hiring and you know that quality hires keep your business moving forward but you also know it could take a lot of time to find the right candidate uncle joey's here for you ready for this

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go to zip recruiter dot com right now slash church chur ch that's zip recruiter dot com slash church one more time zip recruiter dot com slash church listen they're going to save your time and they're going to get your best possible candidate i want to thank zip recruiter and i want to thank me on these once again i want to thank my man cashus morris and i want to thank my little brother lisa yad for making the podcast possible but i want to thank you savages for supporting it all right i'll see you motherfuckers wednesday and i'll see the rest of you motherfuckers thursday night at lexington comedy um broadway lexington kentucky motherfuckers paduca louisville let's do this shit do this shit have a great day man stay black uncle joey loves you

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