Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #532 - Rick Ramos

Episode Date: November 9, 2017

Rick Ramos, a stand up comedian, actor and the host of the "Watch This with Rick Ramos" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order and stop using nasty toilet paper forever!   Recorded live on 11/07/2017.

Welcome to podcastville the church of what's happening now is brought to you by Tushy listen Thanksgiving is a time to express gratitude and recollect on what you're truly grateful for it's also time when you invite your loud family members into your home they eat up all your food and they blow up your fucking bathroom with them post meal shits this year make sure when your family shits your house they leave with a clean ass get a Tushy bidet for $69 with a risk-free 60-day trial what are you talking about bidets are back bitches that's what I'm talking about there's no need to walk around with a stinky

asshole and a fucked-up monkey and if your dick is stinky this will also help the helmet also go to hello Tushy comm use the code church and we're gonna give you 10% off your order but listen you could be a filthy fucking animal all year why be a filthy fucking animal throughout the fucking holidays wash that ass comb your head do something you filthy fuck first thing you do is start with hello Tushy comm use code church and get the 10% off because change starts from within from within it starts from washing your asshole then you get confidence now you can walk around with a bikini on you understand

me go to hello Tushy comm right now and take a peek at the best bidet in the business portable to boot if you got a stinky ass and you want to travel bang take it with you to the hotel you can keep your little muffler fucking clean throughout the whole jingle bell process all right hello Tushy comm right now Lee take this fucking mule oh shit oh shit it's a church of what's happening now fuck suckers oh shit November 8 2017 kick that mule Lee let's do this shit fucking are you fucking kidding me that's how you got a party started you

know I'm saying you want to play that shitty music you've been listening to all your life and that's why you're stuck with shitty friends and flies and shit you gotta start your parties over this song play that fucking music white boy Rick Ramos the movie fucking entrepreneur connoisseur this guy knows more about movies than you ever fucking dream of knowing and my main man the Christ killer it's this high time of the year you knock on his door there's no Halloween he gives you a five dollar bill Jesus is coming Jesus is dead and he ain't coming back in the stand I think I get the five dollar bill why am I

giving out five dollars because your Jewish it's good luck you give somebody a finn we also have a beautiful guest in studio over here the fucking apprentice learning the podcast game name my dear friend and that's it Rick Ramos a fucking pleasure to see you know it's a thrill to be here it's been too bad what would you turn the other turn 43 Jesus goddamn I came out here I was 24 24 I'm bad you know you've been here 21 years and 19 19 years Jesus Christ get off would you have done this this fucking sentence I don't know what the fuck I don't know I don't know what the hell else I can do a nice boy you went to Chicago I'm with

the Chicago yeah you were a lit major you don't write the world on fire I started drinking with the Koreans and got all fucked up that's what happened you know went to the fucking dark place and just decided I was gonna I was gonna dedicate myself to movies and that's what it is you know it's crazy that we're very tight we have a couple bonds because of the communist yeah bond because of a dear friend that passed on my birthday anniversary 10 years yeah nobody remembered I lit a candle I fucking blew some cigar smoke at a picture you know I'm saying the refreshing the spirits and shit she was beautiful she

was beautiful I'd laugh about it once a week still I still sit there and go my god if she would have been around my daughter she would have called her a bunch of fucking oh yeah shit and said stuff and and there's nothing I could have done because that's the way she was I just always I just remember I would be it would be two o'clock in the morning I'd be at my place I'd have to teach kindergarten the next day and the fucking phone would ring in it I knew two o'clock in the morning that's her I pick it up and she was like put it on Jerry Springer and there's a giant fat lady with a really tiny skinny guy who's

her boyfriend and we would just spend the next hour laughing our asses off screaming into the phone as they showed this fat lady on her honeymoon in Hawaii trying to paracel and shit like that and she was just fucking ridiculous she was she was the hardest friend that I've ever had you know what I mean I loved her and couldn't stand her at the same time I first started dating my wife yeah let me she called the house in that three in the morning I was in the bathroom doing blow hiding in the phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing and my wife picked it up and Marilyn goes cocksucker and my wife just looked at me

and she goes it's for you and the next morning my wife sat me down we've been dating like maybe four months and she goes these people who are these people they call you call your cocksuckers for in the morning and it was her she called you for in the morning cocksucker what are you doing what the fucking thing I'm snorting coke looking out a window you gotta wake up everybody including the fucking cats call me tomorrow and the husband Dave was great you know I miss him it's funny because I didn't go to Ralphie's Memorial because of what a high actor the Maryland's Memorial you acted perfectly within I go I hate those

events because my temper yeah and I always go off and I knew if I went to Ralphie's I was gonna go off on somebody yeah and I kept thinking about Marilyn and Marilyn's the one that drove me to Ralphie's Marilyn Martinez was responsible for introducing me to Ralphie May because Marilyn called me and said what are you doing are you home alone why are you home alone Ralphie May is staying with Joy Medina over at Alex Fremundo's old place I lived there too yeah that's it you lived there now I lived there for about a year yeah okay back in goddamn 2004 I lived there too I lived there too and he goes he cooked yeah

Ralphie May cooked a bunch of food yeah go over there and I was like a Ralphie May the fat kid from Texas I don't know I don't know him and they go go over there and I went over there was like Thanksgiving yeah something weird and Ralphie cooked a fucking spread yeah you know it was his first LA spread like Ralphie came to LA and he was a fat dude yeah funny but I'm also gonna teach you motherfuckers how to cook yeah and he made this phenomenal spread and that's when I became he broke the futon yeah it was a futon I broke that futon and we became dear friends you know from that thing I went over there on a holiday and

he made me feel like fucking guy wasn't a deadbeat that I was guy had a lot of heart man and he you know he wanted to open up his home to everybody because he liked the company you know well he was at home with us because then from Joey's Doug Stanhope had an apartment on Curson that was rent control mm-hmm for six hundred and twenty dollars she's if you go two blocks down from Curson and look up yeah Doug Stanhope still the man that he owns that apartment he really rents it he sub leases it but it's still his he'll never give it up 600 dollars in Hollywood it's got a garage oh shit so his friend and I think it's

Andy Andrist I think that's the guy had an apartment on Schrader mm-hmm what no no wherever the fuck wouldn't Ralph he moved ended up moving yeah that was originally Doug Stanhope's buddy's apartment that had moved to Alaska so Doug Stanhope would just go over there to have parties and reasons and crazy shit when he was dating the girl with the red hair so they wouldn't find them so he would have that apartment as a fucking another apartment so they wouldn't find them mm-hmm that's where he would disappear to so it was two blocks away so he lived on Curson Sierra Bonita was Mitch Hedberg yeah and Nick DePaolo and

then the next block was this kid whatever once he left Doug told Ralph he could stay in there temporarily until this kid came back as long as you paid rent yeah so that was the deal the kids said get so now Ralph he ended up in our neighborhood which was that Nick and all those guys and I lived on Vista with Josh Wolf know that's how I met Ralph through Marilyn Martinez I think I spent more holidays with Ralph here Marilyn Martinez in all those years and I did one year we went up there and we ate the mushrooms and we gave Marilyn the mushroom and I ate the bag and I went down in the home room was purple and

she kept telling me Joe ain't this room is fucking purple and I go you're telling me I was on stage you talking to the wrong fucking dude but I miss Marilyn it was magic though man she was just like she was like a force of nature and I remember you know I used to go on the road with her oh yeah remember her calling me in that fucking town Corpus Christi we did a Mexican drug dealers bar poop and they paid me in her well and then we went up to my hotel when she called me like an hour later she was joined did he give you coke and I go no he was just looking for you he gave me like an ounce of coke

and he's looking for you he wants to give you a bag of coke too I said let me call you right now right downstairs take the bag of coke from the owner and then went up to the bad signal in the sky I gotta find this motherfucker cuz me and Marilyn got caught doing all those Mexican rooms together yeah yeah we were going the road together because drug dealer at the time huh did you know he was a drug dealer already we had an idea all those gigs in South Texas all those gigs in those days it was crazy cuz they put you and Marilyn together cuz you were the two dirtiest dirties and nobody wanted to follow either yeah so

they just said put them together yeah me her and Jeff Garcia would go on the road a lot and she was like Jeff was like her little son like yeah but I never forget Lee you would have dug up okay like her and I had to go somewhere one time like San Antonio for a one night and I was an hip to this I'm not hip to this even today I learned from people you know you go on the road what you bring your clothes you bring your toenail polish right you blow dry it this bitch showed up in her room with a cooler the size of this table her and a husband were carrying it in like a body from the airport no they built they were

trying they would drive everywhere they drove everywhere everywhere if you had to go to Jersey they wouldn't meet you in Jersey as you got off the plane they were fucking they were pulling up they were pulling up and they'd have a cooler well I'm not exaggerating it was half the length of this table was one of those old English although yeah the red with the red yeah yeah and they would carry it into the room and in that bag like that's how they save money I never knew about saving money like they were a couple that weren't rich and they were frugal mm-hmm but they were proud to be frugal because they shared with you so

in that thing was 2,000 pounds worth of food tamales peanuts licorice fucking diet sodas waters that she call you and go John we come on over to my room we have snacks and you go over there and you felt you felt the weird like I was talking about Kentucky last night people that's what you felt like yeah like they smuggled drugs with them on this road trip and they were sharing them with you yeah she had the biggest heart in the world she was just like she loved and cared I mean she would lose it on you but goddamn when she when her heart was there I mean there was this a she called she visited me in Phoenix when I was

when I was visiting my parents and you know like with you calling and yelling cock sucker into the phone I wasn't home the phone the phone rings my dad picks it up my old man sounds like me on the phone he's like hello and she goes baby cock sucker and my dad just pauses for a minute goes yeah baby cock suckers not here right now this is daddy cock sucker and she was just like um I'm just like she was fucking great they met her later that night she dug a hole even deeper for itself she was like I call him baby cock sucker because we have a friend Joey Diaz and he's he's cock sucker and and David is telling her to

shut the fuck up you know yeah she didn't give a fuck she was she was wonderful you know and and it was like she she was my first friend in LA yeah when the Latino loco slam flew me in from Seattle to showcase here and I pocketed the money and just drove with my friend Rob Long me and Rob Long and broke things we pocketed the money they gave me for the flight in a hotel and I stayed and you want me to tell you something I'm gonna tell you where I stay where just maybe four blocks from here for you right this office when I first came to LA the showcase for Latino laugh festival I stayed close to the

Japanese restaurant we went to the Japanese restaurant when they jump up and down on the tables on Lancashire yeah what's the name of that place I don't I it's a sushi place yeah yeah the sushi is horrifically bad like it's terrible yeah but they jump on the table and they and they they they fucking the waiters karaoke on the table you never took your mother Italy no I've heard I've heard about it but there's a weird like there's a only a couple seedings and you always have to wait right yeah I went there the first time that was my first dinner in Los Angeles and then we stayed by the YMCA in between those things the

guy I still see him his name is Cal he was a long time writer on mad TV and I see him at the Y still today once he I bump into his kids go to YMCA so I bump into him there but that's where I stayed the same neighborhood that's what so weird it's yeah you don't get you don't ever get away from it you know and I went down to Hollywood and I was at the Latino laugh factor was standing there shit in my pants over the laugh factory for Latino on a Monday night 1996 yeah 96 97 somewhere on there and she came up to me she goes you join the ethnic I'm from Denver I was bringing poor beyond but that's what bonded the two of you

because that cock sucker drove you drove both of you guys crazy he treated you like shit he wouldn't give you the spot right you would tell you you guys are too dirty you were young comics that you kind of took it seriously and the bottom line and then he did a dirty show anyway okay so the first year Latino laugh festival belong to the dead comic God bless his soul Greg Harald though okay it was a setup for Greg Harald though Greg Harald got the special and the TV show from the Latino laugh festival so the second year grew bigger yeah so his tentacles reached out mm-hmm so I'm in fucking Seattle I'm

on stage ain't bothering nobody night before Thanksgiving we're doing a big show me Josh Wolf Gavin Brody Tana Manu you know whoever Kelly Moran we're doing this huge show and after the show Ron Rick comes up to me goes amen Jeff Valdez in the audience he wants to talk to you so he goes you're perfect for my show blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah okay pop pop pop pop pop pop pop we love you we're gonna fly it down there we're gonna call you he called but it was five months later yeah and he they flew me down I came down did the showcase that I was first they don't fuck you for yeah yeah the fucking Monday

night yeah so I died of a bag of dicks I got back in the fucking car I throw back to Seattle forgot I wasn't you know it was yeah first time I didn't really expect anything but I did my feelings were a little hurt yeah your feelings get just a little hurt and then I just went back to the drawing board and then they called again the second year yeah and they wanted to tape this time mm-hmm and I went to all extents like I borrowed money to put this tape together yeah and I sent it and they signed for it on a Wednesday and on Thursday my manager called web a run read quality and have a manager I was still in Seattle and they

said no can do too dirty for a festival yeah if he cleans up next year we'll take a look at the situation sped up I move here yeah I meet Marilyn me and Marilyn connect Latino laugh mastery showcase we showcase at the county store when the guy ran Latino night on some Sunday nights and he made you wear a suit with a tie oh yeah yeah that's your ideas pull me over how to go to that second hand store on no rose and buy like a tuxedo and shit like that white shirt so the showcase comes up they showcase us they love us the only problem with too dirty yeah we're gonna showcase you again Monday night the Latino laugh back to

Monday night me and Marilyn go down there they showcase us again now guys I'm telling you about you being a young comic you're not looking to become a millionaire or to be a star you're just looking for the first step you just want the shot you just want the shot okay guys so I show for the second show this is the third year in a row I'm showcasing now they told me I'm too dirty to work my set clean so I cleaned it up as much as I could I took all the fucks out of it and anything in that range out of it I think I think I said a shit and they said no no shit okay which is crazy because it was showtime okay and then we

went back to fucking the comedy store and they showcased us again and they said we're still don't know me and Marilyn were fucking livid and then we ended up going to the improv unlike a Wednesday night and they showcase me and Marilyn and the rule is not one fucking curse word don't say not even what's the heck hell hell don't say nothing we want the thing to be TV fucking clean and we worked it I mean guys you know how hard it was oh yeah to do fucking seven minutes spotless clean at that time it was torture but I did it was to set funny was it gonna get me an HBO special no that didn't matter I just

wanted to be a part of a festival blah blah blah okay he strings us out to the week before or two weeks before the festival then he cancels me and Marilyn he goes no no go this year but then the following week he does something and I don't know how this feels to you people but this is how it felt to me he added a blue to show on Saturday night in San Antonio the midnight show at that time was a blue show which means it's a triple-eyed show so they added that to the festival yeah and still didn't invite me and Marilyn that's a fuck you that that's how I would look at that I mean that there's no way you know I mean this is a

guy who he was fucking with you guys so once he said this all went down on a Friday I know for a fact that little chubby Mexican her feelings were hurt my feelings were hurt but I kept it together I knew the animal I was dealing with and I knew how the attitude was gonna be from now on with these fucking douchebags personally and I take this right here on this podcast if anybody knows it would talk so I was not mad at Pat buckles at all no I love Pat buckles today more than what I did back then so might be and even though I haven't seen him in three years I had no beef with Pat buckles at the time she was the

casting director of the Latino Laugh Factory the festival so for us to do she made us do a clean set and then the week before the festival they throw our midnight blue on Latino style and it was three dirt clean comics working dirty which is not so I was over it like I was over it that week it took me a night of snorting cocaine and maybe bumping into a victim and I was over it I never repeated it to nobody I was not angry nothing that doesn't even make sense doesn't make fucking sense now we go to the commies to a Sunday night me and Malin giggle it off yeah we have a few drinks we go up she goes home Monday we

go down there for the open mic who do you think is down there walking around like Johnny LaBamba jazz go out there's there was some type of music show yeah across the street at the house of blues so he walked in there like a fucking mafia leader with some other with somebody else they walked in there super cool and you know what was it that fucker that I was got the business deal with I don't know I don't know he walked in with like two other dudes and he walked in super cool and I caught him coming out and I said hey man so you added a fucking dirty show and you didn't have this and he he made he said

something guys I didn't know what he said so I left it alone I wasn't angry I just knew the fucking animal I was dealing with and that was it yeah now that was it a year later they're talking about the Latino lab festival my phone doesn't ring I'm happy boom I got a call you're in the festival yeah no showcase no nothing say what you want to do the damage was already done so I know who this motherfucker is but this is the funniest out all the stories so he calls me one day remember he was giving out TV shows yeah he put Marilyn on the show with little crazy kids him and her and Armando Armando Casillo and yeah

they were they were like a bunch of bunch of white kids in the module and they had to survive down there right that's you know yeah I remember that he paid Marilyn peanuts fuck yeah he paid Marilyn peanuts they sold this show I gotta call from him one day they want to do something and by this time you know you've had it with somebody like I really want to do business with you they call me for some I swear to God they're like listen we'll give you $50 and I go you know what man it's not even about the $50 I could use that $50 more than anybody in the world right now I ain't working with you thinking I hung up and

they called back and I go what would it take like he knew yeah that I had this certain attitude about him about me that I didn't want to like that's it I was over it you know what we're even so what you came back and gave me a Latino lab festival like you tried to make it up I still know the type of person that you are yeah so he gave me and you know I never talk about money on the show he gave me 50 buck the offer and when I told him to go fuck themselves they called me back and they gave me a thousand for the same thing and it was a tape recording that's on YouTube today yeah remember they had CTV yeah it was a

show for CTV and somebody cut it it's on YouTube today I gotta see that it was like an interview and they gave me a thousand bucks which Jesus Christ that was the car payment three months yeah I was the code dealer I was behind the month of the code dealer you know that was like fucking gigantic fucking money in 2002 2002 or three so I kept them a distance and then they scheduled a big Latino lab festival for downtown LA no Hollywood remember the theater on the yeah I don't want them on the yeah and something I forgot about that so now they were charging $50 tickets but they were making offers that they would send

a car to come get you since it was a fast or they weren't gonna pay yeah they're doing theaters league and they weren't gonna pay but they'll give you a ride there you're right there they'll say this is way before Uber they had a car service and I kept saying no yeah like I'm not doing it I don't care what money then they kept then they would throw money at you okay how about a hundred dollars not really how about 200 in the ride how about 225 in the right you know what not really and guess what happened the day of the show George Lopez Rudy Moreno and somebody else canceled because they knew they knew

this guy was robbing from them they all woke up and go wait a second what are we doing yeah we're doing a 5,000 seat theater for free for the name of the Latino laugh festival which means Jeff valve does his pocket so now they fucking lot they backfired on it so that was it everybody was even I remember that everybody's even now fuck everybody everybody's even Jeff is cool bubba by is cool but then something else happened and it was something with Marilyn and him something about money at the end he ordered for two shows and he said the two shows weren't gonna sell yeah and I did you know what you know when

people call you have that girlfriend that keeps getting beat up by the same boyfriend yeah and she calls every week I'm gonna leave them after Marilyn yeah after 10 years you finally one day go you know what man when you leave them call me and hung up on them it was one of those fucking deals yeah Marilyn had had it with him when that process Marilyn fucking gets cancer and then six months later she fucking died remember that so they have this big thing for her now you know I mean I don't want to go into details but there was people there was certain people who said they were gonna pay for her funeral but if a

certain other person was there he wouldn't pay for the funeral and when the guy showed up it got really fucking ghetto-ish yeah so I came back from New York which was this weekend I went to do a benefit for a whole broken police department which they fucking booed me and hated me and then I had to do a benefit oh my god it wasn't bad because they were undercover cops I'm talking about drugs and they were making believe like they didn't know what I was talking about and I finally go you fucking bad guys crazy or what you guys thought more blow than I do knock it off and then I did something for the high

school basketball team and then I came back I stayed sober that whole week weekend yeah the whole weekend something was up in my world like I'm like I gotta stop doing drugs and boom that's Saturday Marilyn died I fucking knew it I gotta get the fuck done thank God I'm not getting high when I came home and in that Tuesday I had to go to Kempo Karate in Silver Lake wherever I used to go the restaurant food that's when you sir with the brothers yes with the brothers down there and I fucking went instead of going over and I was pissed because I didn't go to the wake to know I was pissed because I didn't go

to come kung fu oh okay instead I went to the church oh god yeah remember that I remember that as I was getting in my car I saw Jeff Valdez there and my demeanor changed now you you as I got in the car I sold that motherfucker and I go where whoa whoa whoa yeah after all the shit you put us through you have the audacity to show up at the wake and I weighed and I didn't say nothing as I was leaving four people that were her like kind of enemies were walking it yeah I didn't say a fucking word you held it together that's the funeral yeah that was it together for the funeral I went to the funeral and I kept it

together but I left early yeah I could feel the kiss of death well I can I can tell that you were pissed yeah I could see the kiss of death coming over and I was sober for like five or six days this was day number six I hadn't snorted no coke somebody was gonna die somebody was gonna die I had not done drugs this was the longest I was ever sober from the time I went to prison six days and I was ready to crack and I had all I wanted to do was take a sleeping pill I was I think in those days I would drink half of the bottles of night well guys yeah so for me the fault that's the only way I could beat that

addiction in the beginning I would have to get a bottle of night cool drink half of it one night and half of the other so I'd pass out good yeah there's no way I'm gonna wake up at seven in the morning and snort coke that's never gonna happen so it would be another night I would wake up and go you beat and got that night cool tonight so for a week I just drank night cool to make me fucking pass out that night I was I said you know what I'm not gonna fucking stay clean there's no yeah but you didn't clean you didn't fuck up until after the after the incident right no I didn't fuck up at all here's the deal I

fucking said you know I'm gonna go buy some coke and come home and that's it who would hold a fucking mic kid I'm never gonna stay sober that's never gonna fucking happen and a friend of mine calls and she goes bro you're gonna man ones thing and I really don't want to go down there yeah and she doesn't stand when I was I didn't want to tell us if I go down there much snort coke yeah so let me not go down there and not snort coke let me stay in my fucking house and I remember I fucking she goes you have to go you have to go you cannot not go she was your friend you have to go and she put me together and I was

angry and on the way there I stopped by the fucking Martell cartel mm-hmm and I bought a grandma blow I said I'm gonna take some blow this motherfucker and I went in there and I'll never forget that as I was going in there was a kid that kept trying to do something like a project yeah and he kept trying to call me and there was no money involved and I didn't have the balls to tell him leave me the fuck alone yeah that night at the bar before I went into that room he was there and he's okay man I've been trying to call you for months I go get the fuck away from that I want to do your shitty fucking thing all right and right

there I knew it I knew somebody was gonna get stabbed or something I didn't know who I knew I was angry I was angry about her dying I was angry about not doing blow for six or seven days I was angry about a lot of shit you know and next you know I walked in that room and there was food in the back you remember that you remember they moved the tables around the main room mm-hmm and there was food in the back yeah and as I went back there to get something to eat I saw Jeff Valdez again guys and my temperature went from zero to sixty like everything bad that ever happened to me in my life was about to go down and I

remember walking out and going to the bar and I never drink at eight o'clock at night especially without a line of coke I went in there and I got a doers on the rocks and I drank it and I was so angry I could feel the doers going into my stomach guys I don't know how angry and it was the manifestation of the sorrow that's all it was I was I was manifesting Marilyn was our dead mother she took care of it so many ways we are Thanksgiving you need a place to stay I mean she was there she was there so it was just something really weird but something happened that September on a Sunday when she got out of the hospital

after she had all the surgeries for cancer she was at her house and they would try to tape a documentary yeah some people over there that was people that we're not gonna you know but yeah we went over there and then we're trying to shoot a documentary and I sat next to on that little cancer bed it was one of those hospital beds yeah she was in the front room right the front room the cats were there yeah the fucking TV was on and she was not in the room guys I mean it was really sad like when you could walk into a room and your best friend is lying on the bed yeah but you could see that something's not right and

we were talking like why are you feeling and she was telling me that if God helped her beat this that she would go on stage and never be blue again that that was her biggest mistake and that was her biggest sin that she would never were dirty again never say another word and I'm like looking at it going so I'll never hear cocksucker from you and she looked at me like stern like I'm not fucking around like yeah and as we were talking I've told you this as we were talking we were talking about something about well I'm gonna have another surgery on Wednesday and then if that works out I'm gonna come out and go to

this place over here they got a big fucking tamale that's what like that she when she was talking to me that day she was telling me about food like I could really go for a big fucking pork taco from around the corner over there yeah and in the middle of the conversation she was Joey you have to stop doing coke like she just said no and every my everything stopped and I told them that you know what you're right and she goes now you have to stop because God wants you to stop storm coke I was like this ain't good man that's a fucking message she's never told me that she used to hold my coke yeah with

that whole Whitney Houston thing that's who had my coke it was Marilyn I was giving her an eight ball a day Marilyn like 28 grams of the house or one fucking time and she goes when are you gonna sell this I'm not saying I'm selling this for a big fucking party and she will what type of party is this Joey you gotta stop doing that shit but she never really I call him a call that night gonna bring me to talk what do I do with it I'm gonna fucking do it all of it you can't Joey what about Terry don't worry about Terry so it's just weird that this connection it was Marilyn Ralphie you know it was such a

weird connection and now we're here alone but used to remember her and nobody called me nobody said nothing to me about Marilyn's 10th anniversary I was creepy about the last few days just on my own I found the picture and I put it in my little fucking spirit altar and I got the little unfolder with her on the you know where it's red with the roses around her and she's wearing that red dress that she wear and you know I I look at it every once in a while she's the one that talked to sent the Weight Watches yeah she got us down there generally I went to Weight Watches you gotta say how much weight I was look at

this dress I fit in my dress I remember her you standing out there and this is when you used to just love to show your balls remember you you'd wear those pants and they would just start she would be talking and everybody'd be standing around she'd be talking and the pants would start slipping and slipping and slipping and we're losing our shit and all of a sudden she'll just look oh Joey she would say some fucked up shit to people we got a ticket one night I mean we went we did guys I gotta be when you do comedy sometimes you pick your friends and you just start doing these gigs together and the gigs

suck but you have so much fun cuz it's your friend and then no pressure gigs like my gigs now a pressure game I gotta produce guys those are pressure gigs no pressure gigs nobody gives a fuck you get a quick hundred hours three drink tickets and a dinner and you know it doesn't matter what you and you and her breaking Rudy's balls you would live to break Rudy we go down there together and destroy his fucking Rudy Moreno was a guy that used to book the commas casino he also booked the bar the commas casino is a gambling joint off the 5 after 5 yeah it's about 20 minutes from here to be honest it's

quick for me leave one a couple times every time you go play in there you're fucking scared shitless because it's really owned by like some mob yeah it's how I know cuz my friend is Filipino and she applied for a job in there and she didn't take it yeah they're fucking savages oh right Filipinos and she told me she goes no no no this and they got the best Chinese menu yeah it's good they got all types of food in there yeah of the Asian but fucking the Chinese food is fucking good down there and I don't go down there you understand me that's how it's fucked up down there but he used to book that room for the

small yardstick every Thursday yeah he was getting 8,000 a week and he paid three comics $100 and he would clean up fucking hilarious shit he would run this other room the brave bull that had like three columns and rooms didn't she cause a riot in there one time yes this was a place that had like bull bullhorns on the wall and shit and they had three rooms I'm sitting here laughing but you guys know I give a lot of credit about some if it wasn't for Rudy Moreno in those days I wouldn't be here yeah because Rudy Moreno as in those days paid me every there was a six-month stress that me and him just had a mutual

agree I'm coming down Friday and I would play whatever room he had sometimes you'd have the big room down there sometimes you'd have the medium room the big room had like a dead moose in the thing I remember doing it with Pablo Francisco 1997 and then he had like a but his best room was this back room and it looked like a wedding room on the East Coast but it was a set they had a set with flowers and stuff like that around the stage and people but this was a weird Mexican crowd and Marilyn went up there one night and said something and the wife said something and the guy threw a chair and the other now this is

Rudy Moreno's baby to know Rudy is to love him Rudy is a gentleman he wears glasses he's by the book he wants you to wear a certain shirt and he would always break mine and my own balls until we basically told him to go fuck yourself watch we'll make it work yeah don't don't be dirty don't be dirty in here people don't like when you're dirty watch us and me and Marilyn proved to him that they like dirty comedy we didn't give a fuck what he told us he wasn't the comedy store car he's a great comic really but he wasn't the fucking comedy store and he wasn't gonna run our careers these are bars this isn't

fucking a church these are bars what do you go to a bar to do to have a few drinks and loosen up and look good for your friends no he's like he got to work clean and me and Marilyn would go up on stage and he'd be back there giving us the light like like knock it off and I wouldn't fucking get off I would stay up there for another 10 minutes and go fucking crazy up there fuck you motherfuckers suck my dick and I would see him back there turning red and pacing and shit but they'd be laughing yeah and then when you come off he's like Jesus Christ showing you gave me a heart attack by that that's some of the dirtiest stuff

I've ever heard I go Rudy they're fucking laughing it doesn't matter that's all that matters so he went on back and forth with us for about a year he would torment me and fucking Marilyn so one week and he takes his road gig and that's the week that Marilyn decides to go up to the brave bull on a Saturday night and have an argument with a guy I will never forget this story I was not there I just heard there was chance this fucking legendary and there's eight people on the floor wrestling and the two wives are pulling each other's hair and Malin's on stage like a narrator like Joe Rogan fucking the dolly dolly

she couldn't even speak Spanish and shit so she says she got paid shit oh my heart pay to oh my god this guy Larry Omar it's a brilliant coming great writer he got hit and I guess he paid Marilyn you know really to have him enjoyed Marilyn says let me tell you something Sunday morning nine oh one she got the call and it was really Marilyn what happened really let me tell you Marilyn I told you we're cleaning that it wasn't because I was dirty and to do with that some guy through a chair they throw a fucking chair one doubted she was she was a hurricane of craziness she didn't care at the

wild coyote she started fights in there remember she told some guy she started making fun of this guy's girlfriend she went back at him the boyfriend said something and then she was like you know what I thought you were kind of cute I was gonna offer to suck your dick but you probably just got out of jail and it tastes like shit and we're all standing around like oh fuck we're all gonna get killed tonight you know and David's sitting there like fuck I was doing a gig with her this shit gig in um Lubbock Texas somewhere near dad I don't know where the fuck we were but we're doing this gig and we get there and

Marilyn Alex Ramundo and I are all sitting around bullshitting and she's breaking our balls about how we're a couple of pussies and if we go to her room she's got a strap on it she'll fuck us both in the ass and she's just saying all kinds of crazy shit right so and she's doing this out on the patio with with families and shit around right so she goes into her room I go into my room Alex is in his room I get a phone call maybe maybe seven minutes later she's like Rick you got to come over here and help me you got to come over here and I was like what the fuck is going on she was like there was a guy next door who

was listening to us and he said that I could come over there and I could fuck him in the ass with that strap I'm called David and now he's mad at me because he's told me about talking dirty you got to get me out of here I had to go to the front desk get her another room mover it was fucking great that's funny because I was with her in the bottles of hell mill in Texas yeah no disrespect that's it the club Blee with a DA rated it but the first time I went to that club I went with Marilyn yeah and they put us in the hotel that had a pool and we were around the pool yeah and somebody tried to break into a room

to fuck it he is 300 pounds four for eight Marilyn this burglar didn't know what he was doing this is gonna be the first rapist in history that was gonna kick the door down and go I don't think so he was gonna run out of there Marilyn was 300 pounds with a sleigh in there with a bag of fucking chocolate three different sizes like she would you know those Halloween bags right she would take them on the road with her and at night you go to her room and she had all four bags on the bed wait they have them when it's not Halloween time oh yeah oh yeah little ones for little chuppies like Marilyn justified each one is three

points okay I fucking ate listen don't fucking say a fucking word right I only ate two of each there three points for two I walk 40 minutes on the fucking thing the machine there my foot fucking hurt they're turning purple Joey she would have four different types of chocolate she's four foot eight 300 pounds and the rapist was knocking down her door and she's in there what the fuck she's laying on the door the rapist is on the other side he was in escape convict out of all the rooms in the hotel he decides to break into my can you imagine breaking out of jail for a piece of this man and it's now in

Martinez four foot eight three hundred pounds what would you do oh what the fuck do you do take the first bus man she's calling me this whole weekend was crazy and when we go for some reason she had a great line to promoters promoters always called her all over the country I gotta you know I tell you guys how it is with comedy for you people were interested when you get here yes there's an upper montage economy there's the comedy story in part of the laugh factory and they're all great clubs and then you have a lower end of clubs in Silver Lake which is just bars and then one night as you get $2 maybe a drink

beer yeah maybe a beer you get nothing and there's how it is for a few years but the fight I this is why I give credit to these little Mexican guys that's why I've had them on the show from Willie to Felipe all these guys that you hear today 20 years ago these guys hustled nobody fucking like these guys yeah nobody gave them spot we think Felipe was doing the improv and all this shit before last comic standing no Felipe and his buddy Willie and Jeff Garcia and Rudy Moreno and all these guys for all you guys that are sitting there in our town going I want to do comedy but I don't know what to do well let me tell you what these

guys did yeah they went to all those C little fucking gangster rooms where there's a possibility of getting shot a stab and they went in there and I'm telling you and Rick knows Rick knows I played my bones in those we made our bones in those rooms because they gave you 35 bucks and these guys with such hustlers they have three rooms in one night at one time at one time I can honestly look at all four you in the room and tell you I was pulling down and they went from five to six hundred a week in 2001 in this town I was pulling down six hundred a week doing stand-up in this town that's 24 fucking hundred a

month you know what you guys like Joey that's not no money let me tell you something when you live in your dream 24 hundred you get an apartment and recede it with three fucking guys you make a hundred fifty dollar car payment and you pay back your student loans you're good to go unless you got a drug habit unless you got a drug habit you can live on six hundred a week yeah if you live if you have 20 girlfriends yeah and if you don't do blow and if you could conserve weed you can live in the fucking Sherman Oaks with three other guys pay eight fifty a fucking month

you know two bedrooms one guy sleeps in the closet that's where you gotta that's where you gotta start off when those rooms went under not to mention but six hundred was also 10 spots guys so it averages about 60 dollars a spot I'm not gonna tell you you're working for your work you're thriving for it and yeah yeah gas is included yeah so let's get something straight it was six hundred minus a yardstick for gas ten dollars for parking you know it's that kind of stuff but you had money coming in that means your corporation was always

so Monday like okay what's tonight Tuesday Tuesday last night I would last night I would have a spot at the laugh factory for 25 bucks but before that spot or after that spot I would go up to a universal city I Monday's and the rumble room they'll do the rumble room for 40 bucks and then Tuesday I would wake up do the comedy story even though there was nobody there because it was African American night so the original room would be dead and that was 15 bucks and then somebody had a $40 room Casa Latina had a nice young black dude

and then somebody else had a later I had the sapphire on Tuesday I would pay anywhere between 1575 there you go and uh-huh so you had Wednesday night was like uh Wednesday with wild coyote wild coyote Wednesday and Saturday with wild coyote which is a small 40 bucks the burrito yeah a fucking good burrito a real good burrito kind of Thursday you had the commerce casino I still go back with Gabriel booking the bicycle club oh wow for the small 35 dollars in 1997 J Brooks all these latin comics built their own underground network

they didn't even step foot in the fucking comedy no they wouldn't even bother they wouldn't even bother because they knew they weren't gonna fucking the only club that gave them love was the laugh factory and that latin room still fucking rocks yeah it still does I remember it was it was Chris Martinez Jeff Garcia ran it for a while everybody had it at one point and it was just like it was a great room and it was a packed house and they they fucking lived for comedy the comedy story didn't give us love the improvs didn't give us love

maybe you might get something in Ontario or Brea which were great rooms but they weren't going to give you fuck it was they might give you a Wednesday they might give you a Tuesday yeah they say it was Wednesday but none and you'd have to pay for the room it was a different fucking game but you know what I don't I I thank Rudy and all those you know that's why I've had Willie on the podcast multiple times Felipe because when I got here they were putting $40 a week in my pocket that's a buck 60 because at the end of the week it all went into a comb

and it added up at the end of the month and you'd sit there at the end of the month though I'm broke but you're really not broke you are making an okay living it's not fucking you're doing comedy here every year what do you expect yeah God forbid you book a commercial oh my god yeah a book a day on a fucking tv show for scale 650 god damn it I'm going for sushi baby hell yeah I'm going for sushi baby you're gonna spend you're gonna have a good time you feel like a human being for a little bit it's great but then there's months when

there's dick like there's months you look at your schedule and there ain't yeah dick on that schedule like Dean Delray called me a month ago he was man now this is tough being a professional comic my whole December is wide open I don't know I'm gonna make it look like oh this that's what it is to be a professional yeah look at that and you go you know what I'm gonna believe in the Lord I'm gonna believe in myself you gotta have faith in yourself yeah and also next thing you know you just start popping these gigs and there were months when it'd be the 25th yeah and I had no idea I was

coming up for rent money in six days not a fucking clue I don't think well I'm gonna get evicted and also in the 30th you get a call for a Halloween gig they're paid exactly what the rent is and they gave you a check which really fucked you up with fucking I'll take you to shit I remember those days I never had the faith to do that though I always had the job I always had some shitty uh I was I was a substitute teacher at that time it's in your blood yeah I was thinking about you tonight are you never really I didn't have faith in myself like that really and

you know the faith of not having a job it takes you to the next level it does what's what's the what's the movie that there's a scene in one of the anarchy movies I think what's our friend in fucking what's our little friend what's our family member down in here that's keeping things on ice for us till January down there in Austin Bobby Sharon right okay crystal his girlfriend put the clip up put a clip up from Sun's anarchy you want Sun's anarchy yeah okay Sun's anarchy

what was the season of the black guy what was his name the biker the black biker gang boss no the other guy the one that they shot in the fucking uh they shot him and the thing when they they told him to meet they were gonna give up Traeger I remember his name I remember put Jack's tellers meeting with and see what comes up okay normally you're right though it was like you know this is this is no no no I know it's right no no and I know

I always knew you had the talent I always knew you had the balls we worked together a lot of times but the fear you were commonly stored trained you were commonly stored trained which means you had you went through the SEAL program which means that you really can't be scared you gotta believe in yourself Jack's teller meets Mr. mayhem no no no no no no oh I know that's a bad one put on Sun's anarchy season six I think that's how season six started right he talks about

oof yeah I don't remember now we can't go through it no I can't you know but it's wrong yeah there's a scene where he goes to see him and he goes using pain to get to the next level that's what makes kings out of men he goes that's how you do it and that's the same thing with what we're doing away in a way you have to put yourself against a wall to really grab the whatever I mean you were close I would give you your beatings about it on the constant oh yeah yeah because and then you never saw it in that way you saw it like I'm gonna miss

something and I get it listen man going through life without insurance and a bunch of things is a fucking American reality today that's a scary reality and uh I gotta look in the eye and I gotta look Lee in the eye and my little pal over in the eye and tell you that yeah I'm grateful I did some movies and I'm grateful that I do stand up but I'm grateful I got sag insurance bitches yeah okay I was not cut out to have insurance I'm like I'm never gonna have insurance

I mean I was just telling somebody I'm automatically level two more than medical level two because I've been sagged more than 10 years and I'm over 45 oh yeah so you're locked in yeah I'm locked in I don't have to fight every month again but I gotta tell you something the residuals couple level two I still get done every year I book like a guest star and then they always give me that other risk they always pay you twice yeah that twice makes me level two see that's the thing that always gets the shit out of me and it's like what I

when I got into it I thought to myself well you can go to one of two ways you can either go on the road and bust your ass on those shit gigs and get funny shit games but by the time I got here in 2000 and I would have been I would have been able to do the road a lot of that shit had dried up so what would end up happening is that now you're paying for the flight they don't always want to put you up it's kind of crazy and they're not giving you shit especially as a feature in today's feature world it's very tough like a lot of times

if it's a local thing if I could fight for a feature I don't bring a feature like I don't bring it if I go on the road 20 weeks I bring a feature maybe six or seven yeah because like there's a lot of clubs that I lose a thousand bucks yeah bring on a feature if I was single and whatever but I got a four-year-old I can't just lose a thousand bucks because it's a hotel a week oh yeah there's no more hotel for one a one-time sound you know what they want to give this kid right you don't need you want me really

embarrass you and tell you what they want to give them and look them in the eye and I can't let that happen right like you came with me brother you know I'm saying so I mean it's I want you to be taken care of I want you to eat good yeah you know when I go to breakfast you go to breakfast when I go to lunch you come with me when I go to dinner we eat together you know you know how it is when we go to movies with fucking family we're a corporation so but you sit there at the end of the week oh Jesus fucking Christ they bang me out you know

because my whole tower room is free so you don't really know the rates yeah you know and the contract where they put me up I always go why they put me here you know me yeah I'm a simple dude but the agency I'm with ask for fucking up a pop exorbitant because they want it now yeah I don't mind him staying there I don't mind you know I'm saying but that room is creating and I'm like Jesus fucking Christ and I gotta give him well how's he gonna get their walk so I try to cover his plane ticket look at the plane ticket today again they're

gonna raise the prices again because gas price is something with oil again they're gonna raise the prices see that's the thing and I and I said to myself you know what I don't know how funny I am because you know that and when you're a comic you think you're funny you're funny enough to get your ass out on that stage and the laughs are there but you're never quite sure because you see how you see they're laughing at somebody else that you're like that fucker ain't funny but then there's this thing about it where I'm like

if I go out of town because then I just got signed to my agency how's it gonna look if if if I can't go on an audition because I'm I'm playing some shit gig in fucking Seattle or or Texas or or something like that they need me here they don't they don't have me here they're gonna drop my ass you know and I booked just enough to keep my agency interested in me so are you booking right now I'm not booking but they're sending me out little bit by little bit I need if I if I were to start booking something they would send me out more but it's like

it's so crazy because the percentages have even gone down even low well you know I was telling you about trying to get extra work extra work pays anywhere between 114 to 172 a day depending on whether it's new media or it's a show that's on a network if you go overtime like I was telling somebody I either want to do five hours and get paid the eight or I want to do 14 fucking hours because a 14 hour day is going to get you over 300 dollars you know and you never know when you're going to get right book again yeah

and when you could have joined the army yeah you remember yeah I remember those days when you're 18 you could join the army and be walking around when you're fucking 38 now in hindsight how old are you now for 43 how fast was it to you became 38 after high school Joey I went to sleep I was 25 I woke up on 43 I have no idea what happened guys so if you're young right now and you're listening to this let me tell you something if you're fucking confused and you really don't know it is from your uncle Joey I don't want you out there working at fucking some fast food join it to you figure it out try it yeah try the

service because let me tell you something guys 20 years goes by quick yeah listen to me you're my brother and I know you're fucking two years if you'd have quit your job 20 years ago you would have been working today full yeah I know and that's the end of this conversation this is why I tell people you come out here it's all met on deck I want you to get a job I appreciate that you had an apartment yeah but at one time in your life it's like there was I worked with a guy last week from Boston at home on a brass and Tom bro this guy had me back there sweating fucking bullies this guy was so fucking funny it was

bringing Boston accent it was just a three-man show and he was doing a half out I'm like how am I gonna follow this fucking guy with my boring ass old man material he's you know 41 he is hilarious he did 50 minutes on Friday night because I only did one show yeah so I stayed for his first 35 minutes that was when you beat my smoke to the joint I sat in the back yeah just to support he thought I left but I watched look he was destroying that room the next night I talked to him the way I'm talking to I just met the guy and I go so what's going on because like I'm living in Boston I do all the gigs down I play

with cards with Lenny Clark I play golf with him this guy was a top-notch comic guys you know he's a top-notch comic and I go what's going on in Boston you want wow I don't know I'm still confused between LA and as a dynamite guy as he was and as funny as he was he was pissing his pants about that thought yeah I go so what you mean to tell me because you're this age you have no kids no wife nothing holding you back in Boston you're a nomad in life go for it when I realized I was a nomad I always had an idea I was a nomad but I didn't want to believe it you never want to believe you're a nomad you know what you're a nomad is that you're

alone yeah but the reality is once they fucking cut you from your mother's and biblical court you're alone yeah you just had a little help not you're on your own it's a scary thought and that's all you you just you never really you were scared you wanted you wanted to make sure your rent was paid yeah and there's nothing wrong with that brother what's up buddy no I mean it's yeah it's just it's because I made the jump it's scary it's you grow up and it's you know it's not only that you want to be successful but then it's also especially living in LA there's a lot of homeless people like it's not that big of a like like that like

that was a fear of mine that would have made him shoot straight to the top you think so I know so I know so I want you at one time in your life to have your back against the wall to really know what life's about and that's when you fucking figure it out that's what they don't teach you in a six fucking year college okay I don't care how many masters degree is when you back yourself up in a fucking war when I come to you when I go Lisa yet so that blah blah blah blah blah and you after 10 years working at my fucking lawyer firm you come to me when Daniel I want to be a partner

fuck you I'm the head Jew and this motherfucker don't you ever fucking talk to me like that you're a little Jew from fucking Boston you know whatever and now guess what you're married to my friend over here and she's beautiful and she likes to go on vacations and you want to do your thing but you got to get out of this guy's clutches you know what mama needs a new pair of shoes you got nice feet and everything so guess what you're going to open up your own lawyer firm so you got to go to your father and borrow fucking his life savings and go to your mother and borrow her life savings and come to me and come to rick

and you go to worldly and let me tell you something that 18 months suffering five years from now you're going to be a millionaire I'd rather you take that 18 months suffering and continue under somebody else's fucking and that's all we got to do here you haven't done right now how long you've been this time goddamn 19 years almost done right now you would have been going to the bank getting checks people wouldn't have been looking for rig rainbows oh when did you shoot Latino payaso slay that was 2006 2007 so the door was open the door was no I thought I fucked it up and I loved you but and I held you and I tried to talk to you from the heart from the heart I said

you got to take this chance and we have nothing to lose listen I lost a wife I lost a kid I knew that that child was never gonna I knew I was going to get invited to first communion yeah I knew I wasn't going to get involved in our student plays I knew I wasn't going to get involved in anything my life with her was five hours on Wednesday and every other Sunday I could either stay there and take that beating for the rest of my life and become the local guy that's funny you know maybe get a job in radio or I could give it a shot for me and make you know something I want to do something and dog that was the scariest fucking move I ever made and but I learned from taking a chance from doing being a salesman yeah you know there's a

chance when you walk into a place yeah they're like guess what hey man you want to be a salesman yeah 90 days we'll give you 1500 a month for 90 days the average jail goes wait a second I'll make you 850 a month that's about work overtime they're gonna give me 1500 I gotta wear a shirt and a tie yeah and sell cars the first three months are gravy it's 750 every two weeks you know I'm saying you're in there learning the dues and that fucking 90 day comes jack on the 15th of the month you haven't sold a car and they give you 600 all drill just to keep the lights on on the 15th but you gotta cash that out by the 31st then you get paid on the 5th you gotta your mind is 600 jack bless your dry clean your

gas yeah you'll start selling cars you'll start selling cars and once you start selling cars and you start gaining that confidence in yourself now you know you know how it works you know at the beginning of the month it's going to be slow you're gonna take three you're a fighter you're gonna take the first five days of a month you're only gonna work your shift you're gonna go to movies with your buddy Lee he's your fucking best partner you're gonna get some blow you know what I'm saying you're gonna go see the new fucking Thor movie but then on the fucking 6th you know your motherfuckers gotta go to work and all those lucky lose that come in now you gotta work 12 hour days so all those lucky lose that come in all those lucky lose you gotta pressure them a little bit

give them a card and stay on them they're gonna buy a car within fucking 72 hours they're gonna run into a salesman within 72 hours hopefully it's you when they come on the lot I'm just looking for next year I don't give a fuck what you're looking for by the time you look for a car there'll be rocket ships bitch we're buying a car today you gotta manipulate them to buy a car today yeah and you know it's uh it's salesmanship like what we're doing right now isn't about who's the funniest guy in the world there's a thousand funny guys your love is movies and I've always asked you I said just do a fucking routine about movies if you did a routine about movies you'd be real one of these tv stations would pick you up yeah and we get insurance or something you're a talented dude

I love you like a brother and I didn't bring you out here to break your balls at all no no and you knew the situation I just want people that are trying to get into comedy to understand that sometimes you have to cut the umbilical cord in comedy with your job and everything at least give it a shot because that will motivate you to become the comedian who you're bound to become well that's the thing that's the thing that always scared me and it's the thing that really fucked me up because you know I've been alone for 20 years I'm beholden to nobody you know I got no wife I got no kids I don't you know there's there's not a note I'm driving a fucking 17 year old car but there's always been that fear of you know tomorrow it's gonna go right

into the shitter and the reason that I stayed away for so long and I know this is not this is not on you this is completely on me I felt ashamed I honestly felt ashamed for for being afraid and I couldn't face you for the longest time no and I knew you still love me I knew you cared yeah no no no I was worried about you for a while but I know it's well I was in a dark place for a while yeah we spoke about it on the phone and I know you had a hard time that there's nothing ashamed about being afraid nothing ashamed about it as long as you keep it in check yeah and promise yourself that you're gonna do something to take yourself out of that zone yeah talk I live in fear I was telling my wife that you know why don't go to this diner over here I don't want to

put nobody down yeah there's a diner across the street from 711 over there okay let me break down this summer that spot yeah you got hell 711 over here on fucking what is this magnolia and to hunger right that's every man for himself there's toothless people there's pimps there's fucking it's a fucking nightmare there yeah my favorite is the one by the police station and trust me that one gets creepy people the police station is 50 yards away am I lying at least I am not even happening we're not seeing creepy motherfuckers in there night and shit like that you see them looking at red box but they're looking to mug somebody they got an open mic at the end of that they got a japanese restaurant with what's the rating see at my line I took lee and he

fucking questioned me this guy will eat a fucking horn from a billy goat it's cold and he looked at me like we're going in there yeah we're going in there so dry cleaners in the 711 and a dry cleaner the 711 you gotta take your chances at this sushi place I went twice well it was him and once by myself I was in a rush I couldn't yeah I wouldn't have got the teriyaki chicken you could tell oh this was not this was not prime shit huh no no and the fucking spicy tuna was the ugliest smile as I was eating it I'm like oh I'm taking my chances a little Mexican way that look in the back he's the cook he's everything when he picks up the phone he makes believe he's Asian fucking hilarious hilarious I went in there twice and I'm like you know what but they have a sidewalk

cafeteria cafeteria there like the last thing is an all state insurance office and a dumpster we're at a dumpster right fucking there right glee how please so they don't think we're crazy because every week on that fucking church page I hear that Joey Diaz stories how far is the dumpster from where people manjari 20 feet you can spit at it I called it I called it 25 feet now before the dumpster there's a comedy club yeah it's a state farm it's a state farm insurance but if you go there Monday through Friday and give me comedy it's comedy there's five people b y o b do your own thing they go there after the sushi club he lures them in there come on in then you gotta have a dry cleaner rushing guy I wouldn't mitigate my g fucking fix 50 bucks

I go four strings 50 fucking dollars right others then they got something else in bartending school a ball they got the bartending school you got to see the beauties that hang out there Wednesday night happy hour $25 we give it to you you try you know what I'm saying you see cars crashing and next to that is the most expensive gas station you will ever go into if gas down the corner son a mile from their gases 335 a gallon right there it's $72 and people pay yeah you know why it's next to the police station so they bang out the police station for high prices because the police charge their cars there yeah they got like what a fleet of 80 and they charge their cars and it's right off the freeway right off the fucking freeway so if you rob a bank and you're running

out of gas right there boom and then you got Chandler 711 that's the bad one that's where the owner got killed in front of his wife that's where it's it's fucking ISIS yeah it's ISIS you walk in there the music son Lee I took Lee at midnight I go Lee let's go in there this is worse than East Hollywood yes this the Chandler 711 I took Lee in there one night they had the full turbines in full effect they had the music on loud and they were like giving white people the fucking Malukai put it back like that two hours like they were eat at yeah they wouldn't make eye contact only this is ISIS about two weeks later there was a stabbing they murdered somebody in front of that place a homeless person a homeless person came out with a knife and stabbed the owner

and then two weeks ago the fucking shooter from Las Vegas the brother that was jerking off the little kids yeah he was the building right next to that 711 hey bullshit here this that's a bad fucking area you know what I'm saying that's the Maluk yeah it's got the Maluk of debt you gotta be careful over there I don't go to that 711 they got no more huh no that's a creepy 711 they got a little spot there where people hide where you make the right from Chandler it's a creepy 24 hour laundry man laundry man yeah yeah yeah yeah bro those are people but the reason why I don't go to that diner of course he from 711 because the bus station is down the corner okay any day bro I don't want to sit in there two in the morning and either somebody robbed the bank and pulls off and shoots

you in the head when you're in that dining meet you go down the right jokes you're drinking coffee somebody comes in and shoots you I don't need the aggravation in my life plus the food is horrific if I die because I'm in that place eating shitty food I would shoot myself like before the guy came in and pulled the gun and I go I deserve to die just to be in here knowing that the food sucks give me the gun how should I wish that's how bad I think I know that's why we ordered the spaghetti in there one time you had to see what this looked like had a bay leaf still in it oh my god it was fucking the ugly I'm like we don't need it just send it back let's get out of here real fun that we used to go over there from after the ha ha we used to go in there after yes and that place is

just fucking horrific it's horrible I know those spot my brother everybody has a different journey everybody has a different path especially in this comedy game yeah number one you can't look at what anybody else is doing I said it only the other day and I'll tell you again thinking is the enemy of man especially in our business but we have to think so if we go if we have to think we'll make quarterly you get the press for three days every 90 days and then get back in that's how I did my copy every 90 days there's disappointment it takes you two days you suck it up you look at the one ads you tell yourself you're gonna go back and look for a job and you fucking something good happens you go to the last fraction you're gonna stand in ovation but on the way home you're scratching

your head going I can't quit this yeah so the best thing about this situation Rick you ain't over I'm proud of you because you kept the fucking podcast going still you're still there you're still there doing your movies and that is real your passion yeah stand up you like Richard Pryless and let's face it you don't ain't going on the road but no but you could also do it as hobby get a little paycheck and do your little podcast and fucking keep doing your thing you're the best in the business when it comes to arguing about films there's nobody I'm telling you this there's more knowledge than you yeah plus I know the passion you have for it the passion you have for film is stronger than anything I've ever seen anybody when I was a kid I had a passion yeah for film I would wait for a

film I knew the date of the release with a director from where did he eat lunch yeah what the movie was about I was there front and center yeah 115 the movie came out I was there one fucking o'clock and attention stone and with a full stomach full of fucking Chinese food I can name 10 movies right off the top of my head that I was there opening day with no line no drama I was getting in first I was getting on that fucking movie theater first with a full I still remember dog being in the fucking halfway house having two dirty UA's the third one you're going to prison but I didn't give a fuck because a movie was coming out that Friday called good fellas and I remember still but I read the book when I was locked up in prison and I heard that movie

was coming out that was like sleepers like I was right there when sleepers came out because I read the book in Seattle Josh Wolf gave me the book I love all those situations silence of the land and you go see the movie but what movie we talking about good fellas 1990s scorsese just I'm nothing I'm nothing I'm in the halfway house they're gonna throw me in prison I'm like what am I gonna do Joey I've been taking a chance on my life well what the fuck am I doing out here I'm like a gentleman about 1130 I went to the fucking little Chinese place I used to go to by the lunch special I never ate the egg roll the egg roll was for shit but that made a good nice szechuan beef with steamed rice nice little egg drop soup some noodles in the soup I left there

I did in those days I was in the halfway house but I always had a gym when I was married I had this hidden little gym maybe the size of this I paid 35 bucks for it it was on the other side of fucking Pearl Street and in the middle hung a punching bag and I had weights of stereo and then I had different compartments all over the place like tools but it wasn't tools I would hide weed in there and sometimes an eight ball of coke or and I would put under the punching bag I had hiding places in there so I would roll a joint a skinny skinny joint and I knew they were going to drug test me yeah they were always going to drug test me I would take a hit off that joint I would go to that gym and just go and I would blow it out wash my hands and then from then on I

would just drink water water water but before I leave I'd hit that bag for an hour my fucking sweats would be drenched just a little before my knees that's it that THC was gone I would key and I never got busted for THC they always got me for coke but I always just took one hit and I still remember eating that Chinese food running over there taking that one hit and going to see I was nose from rags to riches I didn't give a fuck if I went to jail for that I was not going to see good fellas sober that's how stupid I was just to let you know no you know what there's a magic to that though you know I remember when I saw it I was high school I was about it was I was probably a sophomore or a junior and we all went to see it and we're laughing our asses off and the

fucking straights are sitting there like what the fuck is these kids are assholes this is not funny and we're just screaming the whole time at how funny this fucking movie is and that's when I learned it was just like these fucking movies are magic man they made things make sense I watch movies now and I'm just like no matter how shitty my day is if I go home I put midnight run on it's over for me what's the best what's the best movie you've watched the last year the last year that's come out the last year no no no there hasn't been much of anything you know really I mean the Harry Dean Stanton film was kind of sweet to see him go out uh Logan was really well done at for like a for like a because it's not like a comic book movie it's more like a this weird kind of

noir like you could see Robert Mitchum playing this guy at a certain point you know um fuck what the hell the Jackie Chan movie was good because it was like Chan is the foreigner a lot of a lot of martial arts yeah he at 63 years old I'm amazed that the guy can still fight I mean he's on another level man that dude's a real deal always has been takes care of himself unbelievable yeah no no no Mike Black it was Mike Black's birthday and I said Mike Black Jackie Chan is going to be at the American Cinematic the Egyptian they're going to show three movies he was like I can make it through maybe two I was like I don't give a fuck just get your ass over there all right so I got his tickets we went Jackie Chan was there he spoke the RZA was interviewing him but I'm watching police story

police story three in this movie he did call miracles it's amazing to watch a man move the way he did because a human being shouldn't be able to do this shit I mean he's hang the in that's all his own he did oh yeah he does all of his own stunts he might not do him as much now but we're talking about movies that went back to the mid 80s and there's a fight scene the final fight scene in this in this movie miracles is it's like a remake of a fair of a frank capper movie he's he's he's fighting in a rope factory on these huge stilt like like like platforms and they got these rollers filled with rope that are being pushed and you know there there are moments there where he can fall 20 30 feet and he's holding on the rope and he's pulling himself up

just by body straight it's just fucking amazing what he could do and I watched this thing and I'm thinking to myself you know all respect to Bruce Lee and everything but Bruce Lee just kicked people's asses he didn't do what Chan did Chan did these things that were like superhuman he was on a whole other level so it was like fighting and it was like the stunts and I mean I've seen him do shit that most other actors would have died making these films phenomenal it's almost like parkour before parkour yeah yeah and they were actually talking about that the RZA was talking about how he inspired a lot of that a lot of that french shit and that that brazilian parkour and that that moved over to they made a couple of movies in france called D 13 which really cool

shit but it's all based on Jackie Chan running jumping over things if he could walk through a gate he never walked right through the gate he would he would kind of crisscross his way up a set of walls over the gate and then just go over there and kick the shit out of somebody it was on a was a whole other level but there was a there was a respect for the image you know there was a respect for for being able to to um to create this thing that as you're watching it you imagine yourself as Jackie Chan you know you imagine yourself doing these fight scenes you imagine yourself in that world and even even at 63 the foreigner delivered delivered man and he's delivering on a dramatic role that you didn't think he was capable of not for a guy like you yeah when you

see a good film how happy are you still I'm thrilled like I still remember going off you felt we went to see the godfather no we went to see the other one the one with Clint Eastwood and the chinese kids and we took it with Sam Wong yeah and they're saying all these poor asian slangs and we're sitting there with that I don't even know what to do with a laugh and he started laughing yeah I'm like okay I'll fucking laugh then we had a great time but uh you know we went to see like two or three movies in a row because I had clearance then there was no children the phone wasn't ringing you know what I'm saying the phone don't ring you might as well go to when you were living over there by the Y in northern hollywood we were hanging out all the time you blew my mind

by the passion that you had like some people talk to talk you're a guy that really walks to walk the shame with you is we haven't figured out what agent could get a guy like you to do what you do best which is argue film you know you know about cinematographers yeah you know that when he shot the movie his wife stabbed him a week before because he cheated on them with a Puerto Rican chick down there in the hurricane yeah I'm the other type of guy that knows all that information and he's passionate well it's a passion it's fascinating to me and you love terrible movies and you love sensation movies and just like everybody else we all there's a bunch of movies that I watch and I go I love this movie to some people it's fucking terrible but maybe I have to tell you know movie I like

boomerang boomerang is great Eddie Murphy Martin fucking Lawrence the father bang bang bang yeah fucking you know all those movies I I don't know there was a part in me when like there was two movies I know by that time I'm lying to you by that time I had seen there was two movies I had no interest in watching do the right thing when I watched it I still watch it when it's on now yeah and another Spike Lee or what no it was another Spike Lee one it was Harlem Nights okay another movie Lee you still haven't watched Harlem Nights no I haven't Harlem Nights has moments Harlem Nights has some great moments in it just Harlem Nights is so fucking good Lee if you don't watch it just Friday night when you stay in with your wife don't show up here on Sunday that's it

if you don't watch Harlem Nights at your mom you're gonna dial you know what they're doing a remake not a remake they're doing part two to come into America really yeah okay I've heard this I've heard this yeah they want to do America was on somewhere about a month ago and I was like you know enough with this bullshit I'm no writer I'm no Hemingway I'm sitting over here trying to write a clever joke yeah like I might as well write a joke about jock it's fucking coming to America so I watched the whole thing it's hilarious it's brilliant when you watch some of these movies and you're like this is 30 fucking years old how is this still fucking relevant there are times when I go see a movie and I'm just like fuck they don't

there's no you know the biggest problem that I have right now is that there's nothing in theaters that really connects I'll go see a movie and I'll be like all right that was a good waste of a couple hours my wife wants to see talk to it which one so I'm with all every you know what it's fun for a kitty kind of thing but it's not it you know I had I had a good time with it I love the Hulk Jeff Goldblum was great in it but overall I'm just tired of these fucking Marvel movies they don't really don't deliver anymore they're just you know you can only be a kid for so long they remind me of that agent that Hajin just sent your Latino auditions even though you're Jewish but you got a Sunday the last time you went to fucking Jamaica and they you're like listen I'm

fucking Jewish bro what's with the Spanish was all these guys want to see you they want to yeah it's the same thing with the Marvel thing and like listen it's it's a I have a stand against them yeah like I don't think adults should be going to see that shit it just but that's me because I'm an asshole like listen bro and the more people pay for these things the more money they make well that's the thing they get lazy they put them together in three days no they're just they're just making shit because they know people are going to go see it when you see a great film like I mean I can't remember that's the problem I can't remember when I saw a great film in a theater I can't remember when I saw a movie that really blew me away and I was just like god damn that was

good I can't wait to fly yeah on Thursdays because especially from going like Delta or like jet blue or something because I might see a fucking movie that might blow me away like I still remember being on the longest yard and having no coke and being in New Mexico and being fucking bored but I got a big bag of weed and maybe I get some room service I don't know where to go yeah my girlfriend's up here I got no girlfriend down there you know he's watching TV and then we're going oh pay-per-view movies why not I still remember this yeah special okay I still remember scrolling and seeing in a picture of Denzel with a gun in his hand with an explosion behind him and going this guy was good as the fucking saxophone player oh yeah and he was great in this movie and he was

great in the movie with the slaves when he got whipped and he was tremendous in training day let me watch this yeah I'll never forget ordering like room service like Adam would give you you have a thing when you book a movie called uh what's it called per diem per diem yeah so I would take the per diem and go it's not my money they feed me on the truck yeah but I don't really want to leave I want to watch this Denzel movie I'm not even heard of this what's it called man I'm not even heard of this movie oh fuck yeah room service do me a favor let me get a cheeseburg in those days they had the kids mac and cheese the kids mac and cheese was bigger than all six orders of it or so there was one order like that and it was just shells with cheese all over them underneath really cooked

cheese Italian sauce Jesus Christ and I'll never forget sitting there and all of a sudden this is guy and you see Christopher walking well we got something to work with how bad could it be and just sitting there at the end with tears running down my face with a napkin with my leg twitching you know I'm saying like that because it's the levels it's like he takes you on a fucking right what was the that's the last time I was fucking moved oh really I fell off in my chair and called room service and go listen what are you gonna charge me to read watches right now well you know it's in a caution an extra 995 with a second I really want to fucking thing is there any way for free no it's on the caution 95 fuck it I got the deal and I just clicked it on yeah that was the

that's what like when I watched angel heart the first time I went to see the one o'clock angel heart on a Sunday me by myself in those days I used to go get this chicken colored sandwich there was this place roses on boulder across the fox theater and they used to have this Lee 87 way before bought the mug and anybody else was looking chickens these motherfuckers in boulder were making this chicken and that like two different chickens on the rack and you would see the little hippie dude rubbing them with lemon and I would buy the whole fucking half a rack and eat it smoke a joint go into that movie theater on the Lord's Day Jack and one Sunday I walked in there and it was angel heart I saw the commercial I knew was with De Niro yeah what could this possibly

be about yeah and all of a sudden I'm sitting there I'm full and baboon angel heart and to be honest with you guys I'm lying to you guys I went to see angel heart my ex what we sat in the movie theater we watched angel heart and at the end of it I told that look like oh that was the best thing I ever saw oh yeah but I have no idea what just happened it was all mood like it was that was the thing it's like you didn't know you didn't know who was like what was mickey work in that movie so I said what is he in his own dream what's endless oh yeah let's sit here and watch it again yeah we gotta know where to go you guys don't want to know my mother's cooking fucking call her up tell him we're gonna be late you know what I'm saying let's watch angel heart again

that's the type of shit I like yeah I like to watch something that in the three quarters in I know what you like and I can call you and go dog what are you doing right now well I'm cutting fruit put that knife down get your ass through video store and get this motherfucker movie tonight and you'll tell me I saw it oh my god I was thinking about getting it bam yeah I love that that is my favorite fucking feeling that's the thing when you find something that it's always been there it's like finding gold in the fucking dump it's like you didn't know what was there the first time that I saw thief I was like are you fucking kidding me and this is at a time when when you remember tower records like when I was a kid anywhere between 12 and maybe 18 I would spend all goddamn day

in tower records and they had a special Tuesdays and Thursdays you can get a movie for like a dollar or something like that so I would get there right when they opened because I wanted the pick I wanted my four movies that were gonna last me those two days I could take them back on Thursday and get two more movies that were gonna last me two days you know and I was just gonna watch fucking movies and I I remember seeing so many goddamn things foreign films underground films exploit how many movies you go to your house probably about 2000 probably if I if I do you motherfuckers got 2000 films in your house tweet me all right it's just the next two days I probably like 400 but that's it do you really are you solid too I used to Ali and I'm I'm mad I'm really mad

at myself you're a movie woman you know what the great thing about DVD is you can go back to the exact moment and play you know how many times I've seen good fellas but how many times I've just watched the narrow sitting at the end of that fucking bar getting ready to take that take a take a toke off that cigarette as he's thinking about killing Maury and sunshine of your love is playing over the fucking soundtrack that probably the single greatest fucking thing I've ever seen in a movie because you sit there and you're like I don't give a shit what anybody tells me about how bad smoking is for you or how how ugly it is it's fucking cool as shit in that movie you watch Bogart and the Maltese Falcon deniro in midnight run I wanted to smoke because of these

guys I didn't give a shit bring the fucking cancer I didn't give a fuck because these guys were cool as shit there was magic in that I remember before I moved here I go what if I ever got a movie and I had to smoke because I didn't smoke yeah I go can you imagine I got a movie and they asked me to smoke and my character has a smoke I'm gonna try a cigarette just in case and that's how they got you up yeah that's how they got me the first time I got a little dizzy and shit I'm like this ain't bad didn't it and before you get on stage you want to get a little tweaked up to take the nerves away let me give some shout outs I want to ask you something yeah those are my glasses there bro you don't wear glasses you're a young guy 43 Jesus Christ my brother but the Puerto Rican saving

the Puerto Rican for real a lot of people talk a lot of shit they don't listen this guy took his own money he got fired and he actually went to Puerto Rico so a shout out goes to my brother Renee and Carl Sione my other brother made Ray Majewski, Lauren Rosenkirk, Joey Rookland, Kevin Dallow, Bobby Sharon, Bob LaLingis, James Thomas and Angel Alvarado bring it on home bitches I will see you cocksuckers this weekend at the New York Comedy Festival Renee and Carl Sione will be there Saturday night for the late show beside that it looks like Tuesday at the Comedy Store in the original room about 9.15 and after that I got the improv and Irvine November 22nd that's it the fucking year's coming to an end you know what I'm saying

what are you thinking this new thing they're doing with De Niro and Pacino and the whole crew you know what I would have no faith if it wasn't Martin Scorsese directing this thing it's there it's Scorsese and Scorsese doesn't fuck around you know let's be honest about one thing I fucking I still think he's got it I don't think he's made a bad movie he's made movies that aren't as good as as other films that he's made but the Wolf of Wall Street is a fucking bad shit crazy I mean I don't know I've never used like that I don't know what what coke is like but it looked to me like I got something to refrigerate I know you don't you you haven't used 10 fucking years no using you know it's a beautiful thing it's a beautiful thing you know it it's it's without

pride but you were bad man oh shit you told me how bad you were you you know shit you everybody knew yes that made I had an idea I just didn't know for sure and shit but you know what you get to a certain point in your life where you realize you got to change you got to make it when I saw you know like when I saw flight did you ever see this oh she's beautiful that's you know she's just a little woman yeah she ain't even fucking around no more like last night at our house at 630 it was a motherfucking war zone yeah it was a fucking war zone in my house at 630 my wife made pot roast what does that mean because the kid don't want to eat pot roast right they're up to 530 everything was kumbaya on the way home there was no drama she gets in the car

how's your day where's my kiss in spanish she gives me a kiss she climbs on the seat last week she stepped on bubblegum and I got it on my seat do I get pissed the fucking night at all she jumps in the car she tells me about a fucking day she beats us to death and then when she's like where are we going like where the fuck are we going home she's not only home but where do you want to go I only go to the mac and cheese restaurant which is fucking boston market and then the italian restaurant is maria's yeah and then uh sandwich is jersey mike's she likes the salami sandwich with fucking cheese plain you haven't introduced her to romas yet no no she's not that type of sex she can't even think of nothing in there so in my way but all sounds good apparently I have

the same we're gonna eat pot roast tonight she's like I don't want she goes do you don't even know what it is but she's like I just don't want it but she don't even know what it is and I'm hearing this back and forth yeah like I'm gonna do that as a kid too like I'm gonna say listen what are you doing for just trying you don't like it then mommy'll make you something else but why turn this into something I go just try the pot roast but daddy I don't want it mercy listen I'm trying to fucking save you here all right this is before the Bruce Lee clip yeah this is way before I put the Bruce Lee clip there was war at the house so I just played my head I sat down I saw her sit down and she's bitching my wife cut the meat for her with the carrots the

whole fucking thing she's talking some shit over there some nonsense and I'm waiting for this to eject my wife sits down and she says let's say prayers mercy say the prayers because I'm not saying prayers either I just fucking proceed to study the pot roast without it and watch where this would go and I loved it every every 90 days she pushes the envelope deep but it gets so deep that it bothers me because she reminds me and me yeah that's the same emotional damage kind of I was fucked up death she gets pissed so this went on for about 30 seconds I'm not saying prayers mercy either say the prayers or go to bed I'm not going to bed I'm like oh she's digging herself deep about a fucking minute because I know I know my wife my wife don't take no shit from her at all I'll

take a little bit of shit more than my wife and then but now it's dinner time I don't want to eat nothing at dinner you want to argue take it outside I don't want no arguments while I'm fucking sitting down God's the master of this table and God don't like arguments at the fucking table so I didn't say that they kept going back mercy say the prayers I'm not saying prayers I don't want this I want peanut butter mercy please just try the fucking meat finally my wife goes they go to bed she grabbed the push I don't go to bed she was in there like the exorcist well I'm not going to bed I don't want pot roast I just kept eating the pot roast I ate the potatoes I ate the fucking spinach salad I took my heart flesh and medication I sat there for about 10 minutes she was still

going nuts and then she was jumping up and down and kicking the floor like boom boom boom I'm not going to eat dinner and I finally went in and I'm like listen dog time out you gotta fucking knock it off I could just taste the fucking meat that's it just taste it why are we going through all this I don't want to eat it I don't like it just fucking try it it's a carrot you always eat carrots try to fucking try it you started jumping up and down and then she pulled the daughter card out she knows how to pull the string and she put her hands out and came to me like 10 years like she had gotten kidnapped by the Colombians she came to me like papa and I go no no I go fucking taste to me I go eat the fucking meat and she's like I'm not on water I said okay I tried

the bell y'all don't don't don't sit in fucking bell y'all and I closed the door I went out there and I could see my wife's face getting redder and redder I said you know what I gotta take a right to seven I gotta get rolling papers I got two boxes of rolling papers and cases a zombie apocalypse I got I got rolling papers hidden and baggies and waterproof fucking boxes just in cases of zombie apocalypse me and Lee are getting paid 70 30 anyway so why are we going in bro when I left there was shit going on there like it was the exorcist yeah I went I went to the fucking whatever I bought some nicotine gum and I took a ride the long way around the neighborhood and when I got back she was stood at the dinner table with

rosy cheeks eating the pot roasting the carrot I knew something went down when I walked like I see my wife was upset I go what happens because I had a read of the fucking riot act and I was like I don't want to know because you have no idea and but now I believe I put my daughter walked up to me she apologized that I'm sorry I don't know what happens but you gotta taste the fucking meat you can't just say it on one you you ate all this shit when you were a baby yeah when she was a baby she would eat the skin off salmon listen only sandwiches eat that greasy fucking skin off the gray shit off the salmon she would eat that disgusting gray shit look at you like give me more disgusting kids are the fucking hardest thing to deal with man around most you're

43 you're funny you're a good writer you got a little resume you got some tape it ain't over to the fat lady sinks it ain't over revamp get a little notebook write your goals down just because you know it destroyed does not mean you're not a comedian no I know it does not mean you have any heart you still got you've been here now you gotta go I know now you gotta shoot a motherfucker now you got no choice you can't go to home empty handed if you go home now it's like I smack your 10 times in the stomach and pack your bags and left so now it's you're 43 you got you got 20 years to retire you know junior soprano how old was he when he got the sopranos you want to check IMDB you got a lot of life left well that's the thing at least I had learned listen to these stories

man there's nothing to be afraid of he's my brother Rick Ramos I never thought down of him or anything but I always knew till you drew the safety that out your full commitment was not you're not going to book a role you're not going to figure out how to book a role until you're a little hungry until I'm threatening that little 200,000 you got hit in Mexico in Bogota Nichols believe me that money is long gone stop it's fucking god it's done between the bulties you got money hidden everywhere I wish I wish I had a quarter of the money that you think I have bro you still got Nazi bonds you got something cocksucker I don't know what I'm saying bonds to the Jews you got more money you're fucking god bulties this guy worked as a school teacher ten dollars a day he was making

20 20,000 a year he quit one day he got fired because he yelled some little fucking Mexican kid he's like no the kids are fucking assholes what are you what am I supposed to do you know trying to be a teacher is a tough job the shit that I put up with comedy from it but listen brother fuck all that shit no it's the I didn't think when you came on this podcast tonight I didn't even think we're gonna talk about half the shit we talked about but one thing that I always talk about in this podcast and leaves my witnesses the more you ain't done to you ain't done yeah I'm 54 guys you ain't over this motherfucking game is never over I thought I was done at 40 I really really thought I was done at 40 bro I really thought I was done to be 40 54 I wake up every

morning so happy I go I can't even believe it I can't even know who this guy is but it doesn't matter I'm still here and I still work just as hard right yeah it's just a different hardness oh I know you do one thing you cannot have you're already here if you don't do it for fucking me you don't do it for you these do it for Marilyn who's dead because she never had the chance Marilyn always told me if she ever got back from the hospital she was gonna revamp herself like Madonna yeah I mean it's tough to believe she was no Madonna you know I'm saying let me tell you something you bothered me a little bit with what you said about how you shouldn't have acted that way at her funeral yeah you and I both know that woman yeah she would have loved all the way down she would have loved

how fucking nuts and the violence she was I could hear her screaming during that whole thing don't do any people I insulted that night yeah I insulted maybe eight people there was only one person that I looked at and I contained myself because I really really loved them that was Andrew Dice Clyde Andrew kept asking me what happened why are you so red are you okay and I wouldn't even reply to I'm like if I go back in that month I think I went back in there and they were gone yeah they were gone so what happened was to continue the story I'm trying to stay clean I get talked into going to this fucking thing at the comedy store and I go in there and I have a drink and I go in there and somebody went up first and I go Joey you got to go up second and talk

and I go please don't put me up that was a big mistake it was just a mistake and I knew it Lee I know me it was a mistake me going down there because when I love somebody yeah when I go to awake it's all the people I died now I'm not crying for you I'm crying for Ralph you're crying for Anthony Balzan I'm crying for Dom especially out I'm dying for Freddie so I'm crying for all the body that meant yeah all those emotions I had my mother my father all those people you know dog I'm starting to miss Ralphie Saturday sometimes I look on my phone just because Ralphie used to call me on the road on Saturday mornings I'd wake up for breakfast thinking I wasn't because I'm on the east coast it's eight in the morning it's five Lee's not gonna call me with a problem my wife

ain't gonna call me and I'd be sitting there I'd just go to the hotel like I always get up early on Saturday morning I go to bed late I get up early and then I fucking eat something at the hotel like oatmeal I get two eggs sunny side ups we toast and three pieces of bacon and then I smoke a joint I go back upstairs and hopefully it's like a long order marathon like there's two episodes before fucking rush hour nine you know what I'm saying I'm TNT and I watch both of those things and then I just pass out but I'll if I fall asleep at 10 it's seven I can't call my wife but the only person who would call me every Saturday he would look at my schedule see if it was on the road he would always call me on Saturdays at 815 was Ralphie man no matter where

I was I could be that I'd see that phone fucking glittering down who the fuck is calling me fucking Ralphie what's up dog I'm over in this hotel the food sucks again you know the whole thing so now it takes time in Maryland I don't miss as much as I used to when she first passed but I still think about it I took lead to a cochinito and I showed Lee that's where Marilyn used to live out of respect yeah Marilyn he was sitting like this and they go right up there it doesn't even look the same yeah I don't want to go back live went up there about two years ago whenever I go to the cochinito on the way back I make the u-turn I'll coach you need those one of the finest Cuban restaurants in the area it's become it took them to it took them 19 years of eating there and they

pushed me over the hump and I finally took lead two weeks ago we had to go do b-reels podcast and we said fuck it let's take an uber I never took a lead there and I got the fucking I gotta lead the pork chunks with the fucking white rice and the black beans and tell them what else I got junkily Cuban fried rice oh oh my god with the plantains oh plantains fried bananas let me tell you something they got the best fried rice in California that I've had yeah like it's really fucking good like east coast a lot of sprouts a lot of egg green onions they got like pork what else they got in there a little shrimp they're like pork ham ham all they have everything in there but you gotta eat it there yeah don't take it to go no it's not bad at all we don't fuck no but it's

stunk up the car for four fucking days every time I got in there I got the fucking hungry I'm a fat fuckly I activate through all this you know what I'm saying what's going on there everything good you got any questions oh god right there then make a right right there lock the door make sure the camera's not out these people disgusting so perfect in this world no but there you go god damn I think about her I think about her it's weird because sometimes I don't think about her at all and then boom she just pops into my head no she pops into my head and it's it's it's just I wish she was around to see my daughter I mean she really fueled my love for cats yeah we would talk a lot about cats I would call her and she knew everything about cats and she

bust my balls I never forget the time I called when I told them I made a mistake with the cat I thought it was a female she was such a fucking asshole because I was calling the cat princess give me a fucking fat complex yeah and the cat was a man when she found out it's funny man when you do comedy with people you build this weird bond you know sometimes you guys are looking at Twitter or something and you see a tour together and you see four comics and you say you said wow I didn't know Joey and Lee were friends well one of that tour together and we're big four big names we're probably really not friends we just had to take publicity pictures and we make believe we're having a great time it's like when you see George Clooney and Brad Pitt giggling on the car at one

of those events yeah they talk on the phone every day no they see each other also and their best friends because his camera's red but the funny thing happens that those guys are making money so they have to get along with each other and give you the personas going to be a great time then with it they yeah you don't see these people then there's a certain comics like Josh Wolf Josh Wolf and I were co-headliners in Seattle together back in 1995 again it's 2017 this is 1995 and for maybe three years him and I did all those local gigs in Seattle together you and I were brothers in the comics yeah and Marilyn was one of our sisters there and I still remember the night you got passed oh god I still remember the night they passed you how emotional you are you

called my mom sure from the payphone remember I called my mom for the payphone I was prouder of that moment than I was graduating from college it meant so much to me so listen for everything that's happened in 20 fucking years here you got two major accomplishments that can't happen to a lot of people first one you became a regular at the store and you got passed by mitzvah sure yeah you're not one of these okie doke motherfuckers and number two you also shot a latino special that they still play on showtime yeah and we don't get a dime call nothing so comedy slam you have so much to work for don't give up at this point I'm not but do me a favor yeah it's 2017 you've been here so long every day you wake up your mother's getting older your father's getting older your

nephew's getting older your sister's getting older I know you want to be down there make the days count if you gotta fucking get up every morning and be away from your mother do me a favor for one year take the year off I'll help you as much as I can I will take you on the road as much as I can but if you're calling me up like a man one day no Joey I'm gonna give this one more year if I don't get the if I don't get to fucking A I will move back to fucking whatever and become a big celebrity down there and play the organ at the baseball game and throughout the first ball yeah let's go for broke all right let's go for broke you know I'm trying to do this Netflix thing I'll take you on as many dates as I can you know I'm saying I gotta spread it around but at least

just to give you some confidence and get you in front of good audiences from here on in I want you to prepare but the most important thing the fear factor has to you you know uh we had Wesley Walker in here yesterday Wheeler Walker again I'm very sorry to do this to you hit it Lee Leonard skinned Leonard skinned Oakland 1977 do you need to go anything are you cool okay okay is she in front of the campus my love no you know I want you to think about this because I was telling Wesley we all have rough days we all have days that uh you know not all of us yeah could be fucking Brad Pitt bro God didn't throw us that card and whatever it's just so there's days you wake up and you have

doubts about what you do what you're trying to do you tell your father I want to be a fucking piano player and he's like you're in no danger believe your fat little fucking fingers you had a hard time wiping your ass till you were 16 how are you gonna be a piano nobody believes in what you're doing you know it's kind of weird and put it you know remember we saw this last night speed it up a little bit to like right there or something you know I saw this and for years because of prior and the influences I had yeah and being at the store and being put at the position I was put up at the lineup I would always load out a little bit Lee I would always uh you know you learn to be aggressive yeah but then I saw this

and this and this to seem interesting as can get this is the Oakland Coliseum it's 1977 they didn't sell it out by themselves I don't think if somebody wants to look it up I think that they were part of a tour like them and not the hopeful or something like it was one of those Saturday afternoon things yeah it looks like a festival like a festival type thing it's Oakland it's not Texas it's not the South or anything like this put this a little louder Lee look at these guys and look at how they're acting okay there's no dancing there's no matching outfits do you think these guys really care what they look like when they went up on stage look at them look at this guy a singer with a hat on

with a t-shirt with maybe wandy warhol on it now speed it up a little bit my brother maybe right there they didn't get the memo that they weren't people weren't look at these people look at this shit look at the Confederate flag they're in Oakland Jack all right they got the president's on top it's 1977 look at all the way up it's filled to the brim these are white kids this isn't fucking this isn't the country look at these guys on stage do you think they kept their day job look at them they don't give a fuck Rick they didn't even get the memo they thought they were

doing a barn at Bubba's house and they were gonna roast a pig nobody told them they weren't Oakland they don't give a fuck if you don't have this attitude in this business now so motherfucker and i know you could put this together because i know for a fact for a fact you're way better than half the people that do movie shit you just have to dig deep and figure out how you can make a living doing what the fuck you do and i think i'm gonna hook you up with Mauricio Alvarado and do his little apprenticeship for 90 days and carry his little buttons and shit i think your Mauricio will be a good fit because you're a funny guy and you got two of the best credits you could have i don't want you to feel defeated there's no reason why you should

be doing that extra work didn't we go that little gay guy for a while that was dating fucking was that you and me or was that Rivera on me which one that we went to what's a guy from Apocalypse now Lawrence Fishburn yeah remember his we went to his boyfriend's school was it me and you know Rodriguez you and Rodrigo okay it was me and Rodrigo we used to got a little Mexican dude does that hurt Rick that he's like oh no like the same no cuz no cuz Rodrigo and i sadly do look the same no no no that was all really into acting and you and Rodrigo will really talk about films and yeah you know i mean we were talking about the scenes that really meant the most to us in those moments where you were like fucking that was that was real that was honest that was like you

know put you on another level it's it's a strange love to have when you have to i have the love of cinema you have when i was 23 when i could when i was robbing apartments when i had daytime to watch three or four movies in a row you know and now you know as you get older you want to watch everything i try to watch everything on a plane yeah you know as much as i can uh i watch Planet of the Apes like i told you the most racist thing i've ever seen in my life yeah i don't even want to watch that again that was you know that was written by racist people like what can we do to stop them that's why the movie and put apes in there but the first like i said beneath the Planet the originals yeah beneath the Planet of the Apes is my movie i got i was a little kid living in

new york city and when i went to see that shit they took their skins off you remember that scene yeah and there was all veins and shit i i loved it you know i'm telling you sometimes it's when the movie hits you when the movie i don't know i mean when i saw easy money in a theater i know it's fucking 10 1983 summer of 83 yeah which would have made me six nine years old it was the biggest home like america couldn't wait for rodney to fucking do something yeah and the word was out dog ronnie dange feel got his own mother fucking moving yeah like no more caddy shack i'm not gonna be a supporting character and i didn't know and i could lie to you and tell you i knew joe patchy was i had no fucking idea who joe patchy was the first time i went to see easy

money but i remember that was the first time and i'm naive or whatever that was the first time i've been to a lot of movies that i brought beer in there and i don't drink but the whole movie did it was banging out beers because you kept hearing the bottles in the floor they rolled down the hill like they were you there were moments there was somebody in the back how many of them were yours i packed stood them up i'm a gentleman you stand them up until you leave and then you kick them over and then they go over all at once but during the movie you don't fucking kick them over so during this movie every like eight minutes you would hear the guy put the bottle down and it would just grow and have the movie and that's the movie that it would howl and laugh at them

because yeah that was when when movie theaters were at a slant at a slant they weren't like this no no it was like comedy works yeah it was like boom the comedy works it's always like a little slow shit when you go down the comedy slip the the comedy works that's the that's what people like about that club yeah that you feel like uh you're boring gladiator i'm a russ yeah let's see whatever the fuck he says because the people are sitting right around you yeah like a little like a little amphitheater they're right there that's beautiful i mean when you're at the comedy works i'm here and you're right there bro for you right there you're right there you're right there right on me like this bang that's what i got on stage the first time you know how fucking

intimidating that is when you see something like that i mean it's just like god damn you know the first time that i get i came out here i guess it was 99 98 i was selling radio airtime in in phoenix at a black soul station nobody was buying this shit it had no fucking signal and a buddy of mine got his tickets out here and he was like you want to go cla i was like yeah i want to move there and i came out here on a tuesday and paul mooney was hosting the original room and you know i was a huge paul mooney fan and i want i went in there and i watched this shit and i was just like i want this i want this so bad and i would see i saw brian holtsman i saw some of the craziest shit ever imagined ryan holtsman still goes up there and they still

put him up on saturday nights at about one third and then he goes up there and destroys that room and you know another guy yeah that when he went on stage you were petrified yeah you were like when is this guy gonna make it like that's how scary he is on stage oh yeah you like going to comedy next time on a saturday night you guys want to go to hollywood late a little late 11 o'clock there'll be 60 people in the audience go watch the true funny is going that way if he's on fire and if he's clean because he's clean now he's clean really yeah he's been clean for a long time oh okay former airport mechanic plane mechanic worked at the airlines came on here would destroy the original room i mean we'd sit there in the back screaming screaming i'll never forget one

night it was packed and he's like i want to see a new charlie zane's move were you there with me we were fucking dying because that's what you do you go in there who's on stage brian holtsman by yep pain you go in the back just ready to die and he's in there fucking talking to my went to see a movie charlie zane's yeah sure i dare you i dare when he used to do saccarati move i'll break your fucking neck i'll take your little fucking neck and i'll fucking break it on the floor and he's going over who in the back everybody would say i'll throw you in the truck my car driver on bumpy roads come on bitch bitch we would sit back there me rogan mooney you marilyn we would sit back there at those holtsman nights and just spit would be coming out yeah i'll never

forget the night they put the fart thing up there when he was up there put the fart there was vini favorito we go up that night and put a fart machine under your seat yeah so you'd be sitting there all night with your wife and girlfriend and every time a comic would do a points line you would hear a fart and after a couple minutes of comic we go i don't know who the fuck is fart and whatever it is you gotta stop and hear another fart and then the comic would finally go you know what somebody's fucking with me that's okay harry have a good night ladies and gentlemen and this went on one night for about three or four comics and there was a fallout who's next brian holtsman and he's in the shitty mood you know he got there he's pissed he's drinking

when he was drinking oh god his comedy was it was something that by the third minute you were fucking dying yeah he would go up there yelling and screaming just the most insane shit just the most insane crazy oh the one about his mother when he had a kid and he used to suck his dick what and he's taken to a baseball game and my my son's my son my my my gay son my my gay son i have a gay son that's what that was it that was the one that used to make people get up i'm getting out of here what he would say was like he's the best ball player uh most home runs most batted in and i take him out to the i5 i let him suck cock i let him suck on

truck driver cock that's a resort that's a that's a reward he sucks eight dicks he makes money i love my gay son and people would get up and run out of there or people would take the ride but they thought they were seeing the devil but he was on his game yeah scary and then damian wands walked in one night so put him on his show yeah as a recurring character he was one of the funny dude was but he didn't want to quit his job either he didn't want to quit his job he didn't want he got he moved to then he moved to when he got clean and so we moved to remorse the beach and became a dog catcher that's the funniest fucking story how can it be a dog catcher so i would be down there with rogan that there are

most of beats before i got banned from down there golly magic club i'm banned for life before i got banned from them and then one night in holsterm runs and i do a guess that guys and why do you have a uniform on you didn't know i give out tickets and i'm the dog catcher friday with parking enforcement yeah he was parking enforcement and the dog catcher oh my god but the single funniest guy you've ever seen he still comes up to the comedy store to fucking do spots on saturdays how's the new job let me tell you something it's been a pleasure to have you on the show and to see you i'm so glad that we're you know you're healthy and to know that you still have a lot of damage that needs to be done you never answered me what you thought

about the denaro movie which one the the irishman yeah what do you think it's going to be like what have you heard what have you read i'm thinking that this guy you know there was a moment in um silver liners movie done already they were talking about it they wanted to get it done i think um there are a couple of directors involved in it they did the irishman oh no no no that's a different film that was uh that was about um that was about a hit man who um this is a hit man too but this was uh this is based on a this is based on a book called you paint houses right and in the storyline what would happen was when they wanted to off somebody they wanted to get rid of somebody they would call a number and they say i hear you paint houses which means that they're they're

talking to a guy who shoots people in the head and paints the wall with blood you know and that's his name frank the frank the irishman something but that's that was a different film i have that film in my collection that was i can't remember the the actor but i know paul sorvino was in it and a couple of other people was in it as a garbage stripper was in it okay robert davi was in it i believe robert davi was in it okay that's the one move i think i read for that one got dick they made like four movies and four more movies that year i went like oh for four like 2009 right yeah yeah something like that yeah it was like 2000 yeah somewhere around that year going into christmas i was doing a mafia movie and spoke can washington where i had a warrant yeah i was

like how am i gonna do that they go five weeks they already gave me a number it was val kilmer this one that one wasn't a bad liner i walked on that killed them in the audition it was somewhere in the valley and they said but you were willing to go to a tailor and get fitted for suits i said yeah the row was me i never heard from the people again never got the job and after that it was like three or four mob things i went out for in a row and that was one of them one of those fucking what's that was showing tnt it's on abc about the author that writes books and he's got a chick friend castle castle castle got a mob star on there once you know many times i've been in for castle probably eight fucking times it's over now is it yeah i'll never get countless cocksuckers

they like yeah yeah but they never fucking booked me not a book they like me but they don't look me then i would watch the episode there'd be a soprano on there once the sopranos ended that was it i couldn't get dick or while the sopranos is on even if you play the male man on the soprano i'm not crying i'm happy as fuck no and i'm happy that i got to see you though no i love i love being here i love kitchen i'm what's the name of your podcast watch this with rick ramos we're talking about harvey weinstein this week we're talking about the scandals we're talking about all the way back to the early era the silent era roscoe fatty our buckle virginia rap we're talking about natalie woodward you know jane mansfield passing away i mean people are talking about this harvey

weinstein like it's the worst thing and imagine they've been living this exactly Marilyn Monroe got passed around god rest his soul that beautiful woman they had a bang of the president a gangster you know it was it's always been that way it's always been that way it's so funny that now they edge light on this fucking fake fucking thing that would be this is what we're talking about it was like these people are vilifying harvey weinstein who's who's a fucking piece of shit no doubt but these are the same people that were standing in line to kiss roman polanski's ass and he asked rape the 13 year old girl he drugged her anally raped her vaginally raped her orally raped her and they're saying oh we should forgive him and let him come back into the country fuck that

this this goddamn industry is evil on that level and i'm just kind of disgusted with the whole now this this high and mighty bullshit this shit's been going on for fucking years yeah i want to know you know i almost put on whatever i was thinking about how would the agents that sent you to a hotel room yeah to me would agree you know to me with steven segal or these you know the assistant that walked out what's that my love for those in the system though yeah walks him up and leaves yeah because they knew you get him in there yeah and then you know who who well didn't they say bell cost me he had like i'm both kind of NBC had people that would would take care of it you know what that's the thing when you're making money for them yeah they will cover up everything

they will go out of their way you know and part of me is like well these women should have said something and the fact that they took the money meant that you know it it continued the victimization but you know what you're a woman in hollywood sometimes you you're sitting there telling yourself they're not going to do anything anyway i might as well get a little something out of it rose mcgowan got like a million dollars out of it you know but i'm glad they're bringing the i'm glad they're bringing them down now fuck him but in no way is this a unique thing no kevin spacey's not unique this shit has been going on for years well it's funny because i went to eat tuesday night i did a gregg fridt summons radio show and after what i met my agent and he went to this restaurant

and we're sitting there and there were three other like big time agents supposedly you don't mean i don't say none of that today my fucking dinner but the guy they were talking they go first off he's not getting five with the 30 years ago he got five for the shit that's been going on the last three years on this set oh yeah you know what people don't realize is if you if you watch the movie by liberace it's one thing but i read a book about him years ago and some of my watch i don't know maybe 15 years ago before the movie was on me that that towards the end he got really creepy yeah because they become queens and now they get really aggressive and very it's like boomerang with the chick oh one earth a kid with earth a kid friends home eddie

murphy have you seen that lee i think you should be part of that and we should be part of i don't know boomerang earth a kid and eddie murph can you make it darker yeah darker yeah yeah dog but he did it and that's what was great about it yeah he ended up doing it because he knew he didn't complain and sewer you know what was great about that is that murphy murphy played weak and murphy you remember when murphy hit murphy was the coolest motherfucker to ever do it again you know stir remember walking into the movie theater on a cold night yeah on a sunday night to see fucking uh beaver leels no no trading oh 48 hours on a whole as well fuck that trading places i saw in the movie theater in aspen colorado yeah

in 19th summer of 83 see if it says boomerang eddie murphy what's the scene with earth a kid seduction earth a kid seduction e a r th something like that right yeah that's it do you remember he just he there he goes right there boomerang but it starts in the living room oh that's it yeah boomerang right there it starts up the first one up on top it starts in the living room when the black butler answers he's laughing his ass laughing his ass off because he knows even when he turns away you can hear him howling in the other room uh there's a very attractable one standing on a bed in heels she's about 65 oh god yeah

yeah with a bathing suit from the 50s she's one of the original cat women remember she's got the hooded stockings on from head to toe with those things stink automatically they make a woman's feet smell funny shit i like toes i'm not your roly's shit oh sure i don't want them to burgle her hat on you know it's the burglary right from here you wouldn't you like to dim it make it a little more romantic oh she is time she's old yep didn't see that that was i remember that you know the cool thing there's a moment remember when robin gibbons comes over she fox him and then she leaves and she's like i really needed that and he's just like you know i had tickets for us i spent this with that and he looks over and there's 200 on the on the nightstand and then he just pulls the

he pulls the covers up on himself he's like call me and it's just like you didn't expect murphy to do that you didn't expect murphy to murphy murphy was all i always thought that murphy was a hell of a better actor than he was ever given credit for yeah me too yeah i always thought bang it up when you watch him a nutty professor he knows what it is to be a fat guy but i like them in fucking still 48 hours 48 hours and trading places i stir them in that camera coming up on them the thing about boomerang was why i like boomerang is when this movie came out i was in the dumps yeah oh my personal life was fucking shredded i had this little white girl i was in love with she moved to new york city and shit i was in boulder all alone i was doing stand-up twice a week

i was eating valium's i was snorting blow yeah i was just lonely and i used to go to video store and rent movies every day like an asshole and watch one movie and one stand-up show and write notes from the stand-up special about what i like about that style you were studying it yeah and i watched boomerang and i went off the charts that scene with chris rock just a bunch of slow bang bang bang they just have 15 great scenes in that movie that i think it's a gem that not a lot of people watch i like those movies when i get surprised yeah when i'm fucking in shock like how good the movie is yeah there's a lot of movies that you watch that the first time would take you in that direction like fuck i'm on to something here but then you're like fuck they gave me such a

disappointment yeah like the last three johnny debt movies like the the fucking one about dog shadows it started off great it was a great first hour the one with the nero the family i watched the first hour that i'm ready to go i loved it i loved the movie it's the fucking girl in that the young girl oh the daughter's great the daughter is fucking the son makes me laugh the son is great there's so many movies that you see that you're like jesus there's a little hope now i was i was hoping so much more from black mass speaking of johnny dip oh yeah but i thought that i was a bulger you know i was hoping for a lot more from that you know what man i thought the movie was well done i thought he was acting was great i think the sale of the gangster anymore

that whole appearance since the sopranos it just got wiped in the game you know it changed the game so that's why whitey bulger we all know about him like they're releasing goddy this summer right yeah travolta travolta what are you gonna do i travolta's done i mean it's not always comes back but he always comes back he was great on that oj thing but i don't think you know anything about anything about john goddy okay enough to make you pay 12 dollars on a friday and go get two tickets and go watch it no you know people are too people too the time look the the the era of one that is being set is too close to good fellas and good fellas the greatest ever made what's the movie you like with jim carrey what's the best movie jim

carrey ever did yeah oh the fucking brother when they go on the mission to ask him to go get the girl that's my oh dumb and dumber yeah dumb and dumber dumb and dumber he could have done three sequels dumb and dumber was such a great movie you would have paid 20 for the fucking sequel but he told you to go fuck themselves then they released it 20 years later what happened it went it ate shit three people went to see it because guess what nobody remembers nobody gets the fuck anymore we wanted it a year after you released that we would have gone twice and to see it yeah that's how much we wanted that second one you know it's timing everything is really timing with what's going on and the problem with that is always you know a comic wants to prove that he's got dramatic chops

he doesn't want to be dismissed as just a funny guy because it's not respected when comics should really embrace how hard it is to make somebody laugh nobody you know what a lot of people can do those dramatic roles i don't know of an actor working today who could do easy money there's not a fucking actor who could go in and make you believe that he's rodney drinking drugging gambling and and taking baby pictures in the morning who could do that the guy that the one guy there's one guy that could do it if anybody could do it there's only one guy that could who was that this mission the guy that played the brother in the boxing movie with marky warberg bail christian bail christian bail could play that guy and make it funny they could do anything

okay i'll give you that if i had a mecca movie and you came to me and you said dog i got the rights from rodney's wife to remake this movie the partage uh the bartender's going to joey dears when they insult them i just want that thing i just want that thing this is why that's why it stinks like shit in here you want that guy no i want the other guy oh the guy who closes his bar yeah what are we gonna do to that i don't know i don't know i'm gonna get a horse in the night what do you mean we got a horse in the night really he looks over there's a guy at the bar passed out he reaches in the register with the money back let's go there's your dollar we're closing up for the day we're going to the track anybody who owns a business would not you know all those scenes took me back

like i had just lived through that yeah like i was living in snowmass village i'm lonely as fuck up there and easy money comes out yeah and that's what i just went through where you just what are we gonna do today well lee needs to go here what do you think you're gonna do that well i gotta go this find this for my mother what did she need it tomorrow well guess what get in the fucking car we're gonna go to the track down there there's turkey sandwiches on the way i can't i told my father to call him by fuck tell your father you're in my a it's over we're taking the car telling me with me and ramos that's how life was yeah and that's how they lived and they were adults you know where's your father he's taking baby pictures what type of baby is up at nine o'clock at night

and they switched to him being in a strip club straight up looking at the girls tits you know that they don't even think that that wouldn't sell people to that you know the fucking opening where he's taking baby pictures like and the joint falls out well be even before that before who's the baby who's the baby here is like how old are you i'm this yeah well tell call me when you're this you would never get away with that line today every time i show that the people they lose their fucking minds what day does your podcast get dropped uh i'm going home balancing everything and putting it tonight so what days is it usually drop wednesday excuse every wednesday what's the name of your watch this with rick ramos itunes it's on itunes it's on soundcloud

yes listen if you want to really know about movies and actors and directors and timepieces and where the movie was made and how it was made in the budget this is the fucking guy right i wouldn't put him on here this i'm sorry we didn't go into movie you know what happens when we go into movies this will be like a fucking Dave Chappelle show this will be a nine hour podcast my friend has shit to do leaves the line for us to leave he's got a yum yum donut hidden somewhere i can tell he bought three yum yum donuts in the trunk of this car he knew we were going to go deep tonight so he's like let me get three yum yum donuts from this night's i sit here with him and i could tell he's my brother and he loves me i love being around them but after you guys leave here me and him

are sitting here there's one point where he just gives me this eye like it's time for you to leave and i know that if i come back i'm gonna catch him with a big sandwich i know this like he's gotta please there's a jersey mic under a chair somewhere around here there's a burrito that's smothered because he gets angry at me for every time i tell him something he's like yeah yeah it's a great idea i call me tomorrow like he throws me out because there's something hidden around here somewhere there's something in his car if i even eat food in here like six hours ago professional i know you can smell it no i can't smell it because i'm not coming back you're thinking outside like a professional i don't eat outside here you sure oh my god i love you motherfuckers

i'll see you tuesday i'll see you friday and saturday at the new york comedy club you know i love you motherfuckers and i'll also see you next tuesday at the comedy store and you also how about the night before thanksgiving at the revining prom that's how we're doing it motherfuckers but don't forget one thing and you know me i've been working with these guys for a long time why because it's a great product number two they give you a risk-free 60 day guarantee and number three i believe in the thought listen i'm no hobby one scene but from time to time i wish a naked lady fell out of this guy you know what i'm saying yeah i have the hungers in his eyes everybody else wants but if this lady lands on your naked and she stinks like a billy goat what good is it you're just gonna

push her aside there's no hose in the middle of broadway that's why i believe in this product i want everybody's monkey to be fresh i want your ass so to be fresh and it's tough i'm a chubby god i gotta wash that muffler three four five times a day some people take a poop they wipe their ass they walk around i take a poop i go right into the shower there's no need to wipe because the odors are unrestrainable down there you understand me but i know this is going in because i'm a professional fucking savage so now they kind of just came here i took a shower even though i'm just gonna sit here and sweat my ass up because i believe in ass and monkey and slinging dick hygiene that's why i believe in tushy thanksgiving is the time to express your gratitude and recollect on what you're truly

grateful for but you listen you know what you're grateful for people come over your house they watch your tv they eat the appetizers and then right after to turkey they blow up your fucking bathroom you go in there it looks like nakasaki there's blood there's towels the soap's fucked up it smells like candles on top of candles on type of lightsaw on type of eight different different shits even the bathroom there's a hand coming out with a white flag like it's had it and shit like this but the best thing is you don't want your grandma lucy or walking around with a gravy but because all she had was a flimsy toilet paper to wipe with till she will wash away all the mash fucking potatoes and all the mildew that last around the muffler me i had a luffa before i had

a luffa i cut it down and i wrapped my finger in there and i would circle around my muffler to clean off the mildew but now i don't need to do that because i won't have those mashed potatoes with the gentle stream of water straight to my butt giving it the best clean it's ever had i mean you want to leave with leftovers but not hanging with fucking their assholes so make sure you're ready for the holiday bum rush with tushy stop wiping with that fucking nasty toilet paper and get on the holiday bum rush okay you know why you want to walk around with a clean ass so hello tushy dot com that's the way to go again you're like joey where do i get these motherfucking bidets hello tushy dot com 60 day money back guarantee i'm going to take care of you i got

a tushy bidet for 69 dollars with a risk free 60 day trial all right plus if you go to hello tushy dot com and use the code church i'm going to give you 10% off now who's better than your uncle joey you gotta feel more confident and your assholes gonna stink trucking tremendous okay who's better than you who's gonna santa claus gonna go to you you got a stinky ass santa claus ain't coming over you understand me so go to hello tushy dot com right now and use the code church right now to get 10% off your order and it's not only that it's not stinky it feels fresh it feels it's amazing li and i live i have the cold one i love it i love it i don't i don't take a shit unless that sometimes i'm on the road i think i take a shit i hold it you could take it on the road

you could take it on the road yeah but then i gotta fucking fix it what if i break it i don't take that chance that's my personal fucking tushy and we've had it for what we're overweight and if that thing is fucking washed our ass and worked how long is it gonna last go to hello tushy dot com right now it's fucking tremendous i want to thank my man rick ramos what's the name of the podcast watch this with rick ramos and i want to thank my little christ killer lisa yat for always being my partner in crime absolutely and there's your uncle joey if i don't see you this weekend i'm sorry they took it sold out but if you live in the la area i'll see you tuesday night in the original room right thank you very much for listening i want to thank rick

ramos have a great weekend stay black uncle joey loves you that's it do What's wrong? From the moment, don't you wake me I've been dreaming that I'm free From the dead rain, don't you shake me And without you, there's a ring Cause I'm dealing with the devil, ain't no help from above

I'm dealing with the devil through this house I'm a broken love So you can travel with you baby I saw something in your eyes And though no one else could blame me There was something I should've recognized I'm dealing with the devil, ain't no help from above I'm dealing with the devil in this house

I'm a broken love If you don't want to lose my loving Use it constantly If it's gonna be lies, so emphasize And baby, oh baby, take it free Oh baby When I fall and she's leaving me The moon shines so cold and rain

In my heartbeat, yeah, yeah In me we've been And it's sorrow in a state I beg you baby, help me Don't you turn your back on me You can't even listen You should've set me free I'm dealing with the devil

If you don't want to leave this house for love I'm leaving with the devil Leave this house I'm a broken love Oh, yeah Broken love Yeah, I beg you I'm a broken love

Oh, yeah Oh, yeah Oh, yeah Oh, yeah