Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #536 - B-Real

Episode Date: November 22, 2017

B-Real, a rapper, known from his two groups Cypress Hill and Prophets of Rage, and the man behind B-RealTV, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: MyBookie.ag - Join now and MYBookie.ag will match your deposit with up to a 50% bonus of your first deposit. www.mybookie.ag. Use Promo code CHURCH to activate the offer.   FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Check out the Onnit Black Friday Sale with up to 30% off. Recorded live on 11/21/2017.  

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Head to on it calm black Friday and sign up for alerts to be one of the first to know and the first to shop That's on it calm black Friday to take advantage of the biggest deals And it's also the time of the year where you fat fucks want to get in shape You want to join jujitsu here? You go go to fuji sports calm and get yourself a nice a 5 a 6 Get yourself for separato and guess what put in church, and I'm gonna give you 10% off It's that fucking easy kick that motherfucking mule Lee Oh shit November 23rd the day the devil was buried at sea

Oh Shit That's right with black people with black people You ready for this one cocksucker here we go standing on the top standing on the top. Oh shit Oh Temptation see are you fucking kidding me or what? That's Rick James slinging dick and banging white chicks three at a time up in Buffalo. You know I'm saying he made the Temptations watch they were too old. There's no Viagra be real in the motherfucking house

He met he made the temptation sang can you believe they just saying motherfuckers? I'm gonna fuck these white hoes and do a lot of coke Can you imagine if he was alive how many accusations would been coming out? Yeah, he would have been in the cell right next to Harvey It seems that's happening with you know like people like big wigs right now, you know, they haven't got like so many of the The artists that aren't as like popping as the ones they've been going after like, you know Kevin Spacey. That's like a mega Superstar actor when you think about it, but he had that look like in his face that he's been suckin Right like he's been suckin like 18 year old dick since he was like

Yeah, yeah, I guess you could say that but a little confidence level little fucking What's that shit that white people have when they get that white privilege privilege that I suck with young dick entitlement Well, he's that I even walk around. I only suck 16 year old dick But he's in and he's entitled to it. That's right. I don't talk to 24 year old that milk is tart I suck that sweet milk like cereal milk That filthy fuck fucking Son of a secret guard in the devil the guy that cracks me the most is the Democrat that the dude that's running for me

Let me tell you something. Yeah. Yeah, dude in Alabama. Yeah, you know, I love you like a brother, right? Right and like when I moved to Bolton 85 I had $10,000 at 18 I just sell us a suit some guy put 10 in the bank and I walked around with a like Johnny bananas I went through in a month, right? Because that's what we do. We were in a month in pizza slices Who eats $8,000 slices a lot of pizza and nickel bags. So how do you get a job? So I went through this mall With a fake credit card and I mean I banged everybody out but doing them when I was robbing the fucking mall I applied for a job then I got the job Fingered me a month later. I robbed every place in there and never got banned from the mall

This motherfucker was hitting on so many 16 year old chicks They banned them from the mall and wait till they start getting the reports in the roller skating rink Yeah, see he killed all those bitches because I know that motherfucker was roller skating on Sundays to fucking out in John's songs And that's crazy because one of the the law enforcement around there You know said yeah, you know, he's he's a he's a known He's known to talk to underage girls blah blah blah. It's a common It's common knowledge And you know, that's that's law enforcement saying that about your ass, you know when you're running for office down there

You know, it's crazy when I was 18, I hated talking to underage girls When I was 16, I hated talking to 16 year old girls Do you know that like I like older women? I always like talking to a little older Even a couple of years at that age makes a big difference It does like that's why when I see guys that are 50 dating a 22 year old, what the fucking you be talking about whistles Yeah, what do you got it? Yeah, what do you got it? What do you have in common after you fuck them 20 times and you spill milk on them and yeah And then a poor girl that's 20

She's blown a kid in high school. His milk tastes like going to kevin spacey's nephews And then she decides to suck a dick as old and ratty as mine And that's like skim milk with fucking goat cheese in it and fucking vomit chunks What do you do? Do you stick around and take that abuse? You know, I would imagine Depending on the the pocketbook You know some stick around but if it's broke motherfucker, they're out boom out of here Oh my god, good to have you on the show. Good. Good. Good being fucking never in my life

Have I met somebody who's been in more bands? You're the man This is the truth rage profits of fire 10 porta-reacons and a knife Two mexicans and a beanie. No, no they're peeing guy. Well, do you hear they're peeing god? No, no, no, no and man, that's a big credit because That means you haven't stopped since god knows one that this all start well, you know, um Our first cypress hill album came out in 91, but you know, we like, you know

Just as enthusiast as as this shit was our hobby. This is the shit. We love Run DMC was like, you know, the first shit that turned me on to hip hop really I mean, there was stuff out before run DMC and we learned about that later But that was the shit and you know, just doing it like Emulating those guys we were doing it probably like an 85 86 But you know, we turned pro by getting a deal in in 1990 And releasing the album in 91 and from there, you know, we just kind of You know, we we were thankful for having the fucking opportunity because you know, we didn't know if our shit was gonna hit or not

We knew we had some different shit that was kind of hard to swallow You know, I'm saying like, uh, you know, like, um A brand new porn chick trying to, you know, suck off. What's his name? Harvey Weinstein. No, yeah him. Yeah Mandink or something or the elephant fucking uh Jeremy Ron Jeremy Yeah, bet he did. He's a bad mother. He's a cool dude. He's a cool dude. Very cool dude. No, what I'm saying, you know

It it's shit is tough. When you first see Jeremy. What's his name? Ron Jeremy. When you first see Ron Jeremy You freeze you freeze up. You think of rock Hudson. You think of skinny people and shit Yeah, you know, all those holes. He busted the assholes and you're kind of hesitant to shake his hand Yeah, and while you're shaking his hand, you're like, they better be purell in the bathroom Yeah, or you better have some fucking surgical gloves Bro, you talked to me in a bank lot one time. Like, I know that is a cool dude. What the fuck am I? This is 15 years ago. I go, hey, man, you're a bad motherfucker. He stopped. He talked. You think about it. He's a legend in his field He really is, you know, so you know like again

Our music I can't wait till somebody says he sexually harassed him. That's gonna be the best. He's like, bah I had a mall bitch sue me. I sexually harassed him on tape and got paid for it. Yeah That's crazy. No, no, no, no. It's a different world we live in. Oh, yeah I'm not even gonna put my hand arms around women no more when I take head shots I decided shoulder to shoulder like the Marines. Don't say shit. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah Because you never know. I know some of you got sued for headlocking people, you know, like when the UFC fighter says to headlock them To UFC fighter. That's why they're not allowed to headlock, you know more in pictures or Strangle you shit. Hey, man, I just asked for a picture and now I got this broken fucking neck

But you know, it's crazy to me that I've been thinking I'm 54 I'm a little older Like everybody says rap started with Let's pretend. I don't even know. Let's just pretend. I'm talking online here the sugar hill gang, right? Let's pretend, you know, well, they they were like, I think the first One of the first to put out a big record. I saw something the other day that blew my mind I'm gonna show you guys real quick I want you to put on The funny all stars live from japan

bonte doodle Okay, this like this is what I was thinking about Like how Okay, let's take what's the what's the the the form of music that first started in 83 on the boxes They used to put boxes out and do the wars and shit Yeah, that was based off of uh, you know, the dj's like cool herk and grandmaster flash What are they doing? There were wars. Yeah. Yeah, I would spin on my head to spin around Yeah, and I would get up and instead of fist fighting. I thought it was like they were break dancing

They were playing break. Yes. They were playing breaks. Well, the the the guys were break dancing You know, b-boying b-boying all like right now the one of the best jiu-jitsu schools is The ones with the one the dudes where they were break dancers Yeah, where they have a break dancing school those two jiu-jitsu schools Which are 10th planet those motherfuckers are killing people killing because they're bodies. What's the name of the song? I have live in japan P-o-n-t-d-u-r-o This is one of the weirdest things. I just when I write at night. I put youtube on

And I put the music on one I don't really hear the music but I do it's just there and you're writing and you're typing and you're doing this It's ambiance and it's something And I was and this came on right there the second that that's in africa. Is that okay? Yeah. Yeah, that's the one I want to I want to show okay, and there's a part here. I see where you're going But this is beautiful because this is 19 60 something it's not even about the music in this let it queue up a little bit. It's about the percussion It's about the percussionist and what he does

Okay, so the guy is playing bongos with sticks. His name is uh, roberto rorena All right, you see him. Yeah, with the with the fucking earthwind fire suit on The only the only port of rican do with an earthwind fire suit on that's rey boretto All right, and then speed it up a little bit. Uh, lee All right, and then speed it up a little bit. Uh lee They start dancing and singing and fucking around And then you got a hector levo there. You got ismio reverie. You got an all star band there in

Keep going keep going keep going Keep going keep going keep going And there's a scene here where the bongo player starts dancing But I want you to see what he's doing right there go right there Click it Watch what he's doing. This is 1973 Watch what he's doing Now I knew this guy well growing up. That's real crazy my marlina and el santo was his marlina

Wait, no, no, no watch that watch what he's doing guys. It's 1973. He's already doing this in japan. He's doing this Fuck He had the crazy look at him in japan. He was doing this when was elvis compared to this Do you know elvis was elvis was killing it? Elvis was in nobody. I'm talking about like the dancing part Elvis couldn't do this. No, I'm saying and then like went crazy with elvis on tv Yeah, but he couldn't do this elvis couldn't even do a jump in chat He couldn't do those that style of dancing

Not especially not at that year. He was already like, you know, we'll watch this go put on rig james live from africa 71 this is or 73 or 74. This is before Muhammad Ali fought One of the big fights George foreman George foreman they decided to do a concert for peace And they got bb king and You know, they got everybody the funny all-stars and they got This guy and that guy, but the most impressive was rick james. No was james brown. Sorry about that james

james brown and after and Live i'm sorry. I'm fucking rick james rick james is smoking crack and buffalo Ah Payback the payback. Yeah. So this was the concert before the fight whites I don't even know how old he is here, but put this on loud You gotta be in his 30s by here by maybe 40s. Maybe 40s This man Will make your live a quiver. Now. This is africa. This is not the bronx or los angeles

This is nowhere. This man will freeze your knees. If you will, let's all welcome the world's godfather of soul, soul brother number one, Jay Brown. This guy went from being the caged guy to the announcer. Look at this, look at this savage. He came out with an entourage and he was in a boxing body. Look at him, here we go.

Here we go, here we go. Again, when black people are black people, here we go. Oh my god. Are you fucking kidding me, guys? Look at his little slunks, his bumper. Godfather of soul, on his fucking stomach. Call him on his fucking thing, JP. To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it.

It's cool, I just wanted to show you, brother. It's a different fucking world out there. Different, and we all came from this. No matter how you go, this is it. Look at this shit. This was Michael Jackson. Oh yeah. This was Prince.

He showed him how. This was, you know, I just showed you a Spanish dude that nobody's really heard of, breakdancing in 1970. That was maybe 72. Yeah. Because the funny all-stars, big tapes were Japan, Africa, and they did Yankee Stadium, and the Puerto Ricans danced so much

that that was the first time they ever thought about canceling a baseball game the next day. The field was fucking torn up in shreds. Fuck that. Oh man, that's awesome. And you still tour. Yeah. Now, who do you tour with every other week?

Like, every week you tour with somebody fucking different. Like, one week you're with the Beatles, the next week you're with Soundgarden. You know, the last year and a half I've been juggling between, you know, Cypress Hill and Prophets of Rage, and, you know, I'll be on tour one month with this group, and then next month it'll be with that group

and just been going back and forth like that. And it don't stop, you know. Fortunately, it's still fun. I still have a passion for music and creating it and playing it. So, you know, it's fun, you know, especially going from one thing to another one, which is very hip-hop, you know.

It transcends hip-hop like in terms of like our fan base, you know, they like alternative music. They like the rock and punk and metal shit, as well as hip-hop, you know. So, it's a different type of energy, but then, you know, you go with the Prophets of Rage and these motherfuckers just like rockin' the fuck out. So, it's completely, two completely different energies,

but it's fun on both ends. It's, you know, sometimes it gets a little bit much because, you know, you're away from home for so long and if you, you know, I got a family, so it's kind of hard being away from the family so much, but in terms of, you know, what we've been trying to do with it and, you know, the point we're trying to get across with the music and then just as artists rockin' the fuck out,

you know, everything is going really well. You know, we've been touring a lot and we're about to, you know, take these next two months off, three months, whatever, and work on some new music for it, as well as we got some Cypress Hill music on deck coming out like two albums, a lot of music. You said before the podcast that you're still having fun and you just said it again.

You've been doing it for at least 30 years, it sounds like, probably even more. Were there times over that 30 years that it wasn't fun, that you didn't like it? Well, you know, in this business, it's shark infested, so, you know, it's always gonna be having its ups and downs because, you know, in the end, you're trying to put your music out there,

you're trying to make a living, you're trying to do what you love and all that stuff and there's a lot of politics in between all that. It's more than just making an album or a song and then putting it out and then there's an explosion and you're famous and all this other shit. There's a lot of stuff in between that and there's no actual school to teach you the process.

You just kind of gotta learn, you know, hands on, you know, as the steps progress, you know what I mean, especially in hip hop and, you know, I wouldn't take nothing back to be honest with you, you know, the good times and bad times make up what's happening right now, you know, for better, for worse and shit like that and for me, I consider, you know, all that stuff,

you know, that wasn't so great learning experiences as opposed to, you know, some negative shit where, you know, to complain about something because who's gonna listen, who wants to hear you complain? Exactly, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Nobody wants to hear that. So if I'm complaining, that means I'm bitter about

some of the losses I took. So, you know, I'm never bitter about that because a loss is a learning experience if you look at it the right way. So, you know, I'm good, you know, it's helped me, all those things helped me progress to where I am now, which allows me to be in two bands and flip styles the way that, you know, I'm able to do from one show

to the other and from creating one style and creating the other with the other guys, you know what I mean? All that stuff led up to where I'm at now. So, you know, you take that if you're passionate about what it is. I mean, it's like going up there and having a routine and some of the routine is hidden and some of it,

you know, you need to work on when you go home, right? Or the fucking shit bombs out. Like you could say, oh man, I ain't going back up on the mic. I fucking bombed out. Or you go back and create something else and come back out and fucking tear their asses up again. You know, it just depends on how much passion you got for it

and, you know, I've always had a lot of passion for music, you know, before I was even, you know, creating it with my bros, you know? So, for me, it's all about that, you know, still loving to do it, taking risks, you know, that normally other people won't take creatively, stuff like that, man. I love shit like that because it's a challenge.

Let's be strictly honest here. I pretty much booked a podcast with Lee. Somebody calls me. I talk to Lee. Lee talks to me. We put his name down and we see where we're at with that person, you know, and it's funny that because of my touring schedule and then I was trying to write a sitcom,

Tuesdays were always being rough on me plus an acting class, plus the baby. Yeah. And finally, when I freed up, so many people mentioned you to me and it was overwhelming until I said, let me go down there and see what this podcast is about. And from the minute I walked into your studio,

you know, what time you got there, you know, your gentlemen, the staff you had, I was very taken back by you by what you were doing. No, thanks. I love to talk, you know what I'm saying? Look at that residue cocaine from 30 years ago. It comes up every once in a while.

I sweat every once in a while and you hit like a cocaine rock, like a corn of fat thing. And I can't, there's nothing I can say to you because I'm listening to you and you're exactly on the money but what I admire by you the most is, what happened to the spin doctors? Listen, I'm just acting.

What was the song they sang? Dear, dear, what do they adore you? Now come on, baby, this time. Yeah, that's karaoke now. Right, okay, so if you... Now, I am not putting down the spin doctors. No. By no means.

They had big hits. They had big hits and then whatever happened, one guy became a carpenter, the singer hated the piano player. You're the type of dude that reinvents himself every 90 days. And then when...

that's how you keep yourself fresh. I had to go to my agent two months ago and go, listen, I don't want to hear about another date on the road again. He's like, what are you talking about? You're selling out. That's not the point. That's not the point.

See, that's where you motherfuckers are wrong. And then, yeah, you make a little change and then you buy a house and guess what? Now you're in debt. Now you're doing something that you used to love but it became a job. When you choose an art as a career, you want to get up tip top,

Magoo will attack it every day. It's a fine line. I tell you and I know you're going to tell me when it was me, you, this dude and fat fucking Joe in a garage with no money. Those were the best times we had when we were just rapping and it was just us.

We were making some good music. Also, something came in that was called money and pressure and we adjusted. We adapt. That's what we do. But it fucks up the main thing of what you're doing. What you're doing,

you're not letting the money get in the way. You're switching it up. You're switching it up. I'm sitting here in awe because I have a hard time raising a daughter, loving my wife because if you know if you don't give your wife love, then that's a complete different thing.

I had to take her for a massage just late. 60 bucks to Chinese people. One rubs, huh? One rubs me and we hold hands together. They put rocks on your neck. But you know what? It puts a smile on your face and that's what I want to have for my time.

I got the podcast and then you got to go on the road. Right. We don't have. I don't have all that shit. I wish I had the time and energy. We make a road. I don't know where you live and I don't give a fuck. But you got to get on that 405 today.

When they put a picture on Twitter of the 405, they don't know that we live with that. That's every fucking day. That's serious. You going to visit somebody is for fucking hours. The other day I had a meeting. And that's just getting there. That's just getting there.

Two days of Friday. I had a meeting and on the way back Lee called me. He goes, how did it go? I go, we could have done it on the phone. I had to go to Wilshire. We could have done it on the phone. This is why we have Skype. And this is why I admire you because you find time to wait a second.

Not just tour. People. If all I had to do every weekend was go out and say the same jokes have been saying for 10 years and nobody would say nothing. That's what I would do and it'd be easy. But I know you're the type of dude that wants to create. You want to create and when you want to create, you have to find time to create on top of being a dad,

writing, business because this is a whole business. Now you got the setup, which I admire again. You got 10 shows going out of there. You're smoking. Your employees are giggling. Everybody's high at 8.30 in the morning. They're eating donuts. They got tacos.

Fucking donuts. You know, I mean, as an artist's point of view, you have the perfect artist's life, which is what used to happen in this city as far as we were concerned. See, as a comedian, what you did was be real, got a show, be real called two weeks ago. You said he met you at a restaurant. He wants you to be a garbage man in the show.

Be real is going to give you six episodes out of 13 every year. That means for fucking eight weeks, I'm not going to do dick. Two times. Yeah. For six weeks, I'm just going to focus on Be Real Show. What I got to call Be Real and tell Be Real Real that you're going to shoot me on Tuesday because I got a gig in Philadelphia on Thursday.

And guess what? I'm not going to be effective on your show and I'm not going to be effective in Philadelphia because I'm thinking about both things. Let me just focus on Be Real Thing, kill that shit so the next season, that motherfucker brings me back for eight shows a season. So you had that breather in today's comedic world.

You don't have that no more. They found out they can make money with you. Why fuck with the nest? Keep them on the road. Keep them on the road. Keep them on the road until he stops selling tickets. Now you're 48 and you have no acting experience. Yeah, when you oversaturate, man.

You can't do it. Can't do shit. You got a fucking heavier surgery in a couple of weeks. That means 60 days I can't go on the fucking rope. My aides are going crazy. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. This is what being an artist is.

For 30 days, you go into a Denny's. You get the waitress off in and you go, don't let my buddy go back to that section back there. I'm going to be there all day. I'm going to have eggs. I'm going to have the pot roast. I'm going to shit in blood. But I'm going to stick it out every day until five.

Right. It's really weird. The creative process. Everybody has a different process. Everybody has a different process. If I overstocked you with business, how the fuck are you going to write lyrics? Yeah.

It's tough juggling. It's sort of like when it's all going well, you have to keep it going. So you got to keep everything fucking in the air and keep it balanced for me. Like I said, I love challenges. And in terms of that challenge and the reinventing myself through different projects,

different groups, different albums, or whether it's solo or with somebody, that's something Busta Rhyme talked to me about like in the mid 90s when he had left one group to do his solo shit. And it was tremendously different. And he pulled me to the side one day and he said, hey man,

you should in his Busta Rhyme voice, yo, yo son, you need to be constantly doing shit and reinventing yourself B. You know, do shit different. I know you got this group, but do other things. And that was a bad impression of him, but you know, because I'm not really on my game right now. I usually do Busta Rhyme's voice pretty good,

but today I shit the pot. But you know, he gave me that advice and I kind of was hesitant at that time because you know, I was all about Cypress Hill and said, well, you know, this is where my 100% focus is. Why would I, you know, why would I fuck that up by going and doing some solo shit and you know, just doing some crazy shit

when things are going so well? You know, I was very focused, like you said, instead of trying, you know, having all these different things going on, I was very much all about the group. And the years later, that's when I started thinking, you know, ah, right. Well, I've done a lot of shit with the group.

Let me start doing some different things here and there. And I did a couple of mixed tapes and then did a solo album and, you know, went back and started doing some group shit. And then I created another group with the exhibit in this cat named Demric called Serial Killers. And we did a hardcore hip hop album under that group for two albums.

And then I partnered up after that with Burner, which we did three albums called Prohibition. Well, there were two EPs in one album. And, you know, all that while I was doing another solo album that I gave away, which was called The Prescription. And, you know, I just kept, you know, writing and writing for different things, you know, doing collaborations with other people

and just keeping the Busta Rhyme shit in mind at that point. Like, okay, if I'm not gonna, if I'm gonna do something away from Cyprus, I don't want to do anything like I do with Cyprus on this other shit. So I'm gonna be something completely different on this. Something's a different side of me on this shit as opposed to what people are used to seeing with me with Cyprus. So, you know, I just took that from one group to another.

And even with profits, like the way I'm dressed up there with profits is completely different than what I do with Cyprus. And, you know, that's to have that distinction and to have something different and, you know, and to make people ask why. Because, you know, people are always gonna be like, well, why is he, why is like this look over here is so extreme?

You know, but that's the thing, you know, you reinvent yourself and you make people fucking ask questions and boom, you've done your fucking job, you know what I mean? So I'm just used to like taking these things on and giving everything a different kind of, different kind of feel to it. So it's not a regurgitated thing of what we do with Cyprus because I mean, you know, if I'm going to do that,

I could just stay doing the shit I do with Cyprus. You've worked with everybody in the business. Even our other boy, Danny Brown, I mean, you've done. Yeah, salute to Danny Brown. I like Danny Brown. He's a good dude and it's just, you continue to grow. You don't stop. You don't stop. There's no, there's no.

And it's not like you ever noticed when a dude is progressing and he tries to act young, that's not you at all. I could see it when you sing it. When you were a kid, you like Spanish music. Yeah, yeah. Hold on, let me open the door before they call 911. Enjoy 18 texts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, before they call 911.

Long Joe is gone. I actually did one of the other shows. I did We Don't Smoke the Same. Oh, you did We Don't Smoke the Same. And like that was even before I met you, it like, there's a lot of people in this town who don't like to promote people around them. And what I really liked was E-Zone said he worked for you

and like got to get to do the show now. So it's like, and then our other friend, Roz, dude, we've known, I've known for years. 18 months, two years. He's been with you for years, I'm pretty sure. So it's, it's just nice to see people who act loyally and are nice in this town. Well, you know, when we started Be Real TV, you know,

and it was called the 420 show, as opposed to the Dr. Green Thumb show, we changed it later because, you know, I said, fuck it, you know, there's a lot of 420 shows. There's not a Dr. Green Thumb show on Dr. Green Thumb. Fuck it. So I switched the name and it started maybe with six people, maybe less than that, I think it was four people,

myself, a couple of DJs and, you know, my partner in the network. And, you know, we started off with the one show just because I realized the importance of a platform because I used to do a radio show on 92.3 The Beat called The Soul Assassin Show, which is different than the show that DJ Mugs does on Sirius now, but, you know, this was in the kind of late 90s

and, you know, we did some big things on the radio. So, you know, when I left the radio due to politics, you know, I was searching for a platform, the streaming became the thing and I got into that. And little by little, I just, you know, as we build our own platform in the streaming world, I started recruiting other shows, other people, and, you know, some of our staff started as people

in the chat room, like that we would have this back and forth engagement. Like, so our guy, we got a guy called Sheiky. I always call him Sheki. Yeah, Sheiky, Sheikadelic, we call him. But at first, you know, his name in the chat room was Iron Sheiky, and him and I would have some crazy exchanges in the chat room talking major shit

to each other, but on some joke shit, but like on some really foul joke shit. You know what I mean? Because, you know, we, that's how we interacted with our chat room, we would call it the freezer because it was based off of insults. You know, we'd just insult the fuck out of each other. They'd insult us, we'd insult them, but it was all,

you know, love shit. We realized that Sheiky was a word smith, you know, he could, you know, he could hang with the fucking best of him. We invited him down to the studio and he became, you know, a writer for the site in the beginning. Then he became an operator and then, you know, eventually, you know, part of the show. And with E-Zone, he started as an intern,

you know, doing like stories and shit like that for the site as well. Because, you know, the site does stream and blog. And, you know, eventually we asked him to do, you know, to co-host the show with us, be up there at the table when we felt he was ready and then we gave him his own show, you know, via the live platform and our YouTube. So we gave him two different shows as, you know,

he's been around and, you know, he earned his way up and then Ross Dude started as an intern, went into, you know, an operator position and now he's creating content through his Ali review. So, you know, we try to step everybody up and some former, another Nels started up with us as a DJ, DJ Nels, and, you know, he became one of the co-hosts of the show and, you know, he coordinates the smoke box and stuff like that.

So, you know, all of our guys have been with us for a long time. So we just try to create roles for everybody as we go along, man. You know, sometimes there's no job description coming into the description. There ain't no job description. So it's like you get in where you fit in. Did the fire alarm finally go off? No, I'm pretty sure something's jackhammering at 8.30 at night. Yeah.

You looked at me like you thought I was farting when you heard that first thing. No, that's the fire alarm, guys. Hysterical. I told you, the fire alarm was going to be here. I don't know. I don't give a fuck. We don't know nothing.

We haven't been here in hours. Yeah. Is that them coming right now? I see the red lights. Oh, no. What are you going to do, standing on my head and spitting nickers? Whoo! This went into a different office.

I'm sorry, guys. I don't give a fuck. That's a first for everybody. It looks like we'll be moving into the studio. Come on. But there goes the talk. It just went off. Oh, you're absolutely right.

God damn it. How do you know? It just went off. It just went off. They shut it off. They noticed the building is not on fire. They'll be coming here to do the walkthrough. Hi, guys.

Everything okay? Yes, sir. Everything is fine. There's nothing to see here. There's cop cars out there in fire departments and shit. Should we put away some of this stuff? Fuck no. We live like doctors.

We got lusts. We got roses. We had an incident. There ain't nobody out there. What the fuck is wrong with you? You had my heart beating out of my chest. We had an incident problem officer. Your heart beat out of your chest.

Oh, yeah, man. Oh, my God. This is way better than when the notary republic knocked on the door. You know, it's crazy how they always tell you to reinvent yourself in this career. It didn't seem like you reinvented yourself. That's not the word for what you did. You explored. Right.

That's a complete different fucking animal. But see, there's somebody out there. Something's going on out there. Should I turn my phone on to see if they can landlord? No, no, no. It's like people with weapons. Oh, my God. Somebody's out there.

I don't give a fuck. We got weapons. You got weapons. We got weapons. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I guess somebody's out there. What do you have to do? What's been a deal?

What's been a deal? Do you guys remember when we used to smoke dope in that one building and the black lady banging on the door at that time and we were getting high in there, hysterical? We didn't even get high in there. We weren't even getting high. It was Felipe. Everybody, Felipe went going crazy. And then we were in there another time.

It was the earthquake that time. It's seven in the morning. With our grandmas. On fucking camera, you see the fucking earthquake. Only on the podcast, brother. Crazy. And then during the week, so you come home from a tour. I'm telling you, because this shit baffles me.

Ron White's 60. Ron White goes on the road every weekend, Friday and Saturday. Like nothing. There are people. If I go on the road four weeks in a row, I wake up. I don't know what a fuck I am. The other day, when I came back from New York that Monday, I took a nap after Jiu-Jitsu. And I went to bed at two, one, three, and I woke up at five.

And honestly, I didn't know if it was five in the morning or five in the afternoon. So my wife came in and said, come on, we got to go pick up the baby. Like it just throws me off completely. So I got to get my shit together. I got to get my game up, like be real. Take vitamins to sleep more or do some shit. Yeah, man. You know, truthfully, I train for this shit.

It's hard, man. You get older, you know, and you do a show at the pace that we do it, you know, that our music is at. Because when you think about it, I don't think people do the math on this. But, you know, certain groups, when they do shows, especially with golden age hip hop shows, they try to keep the music moving and up tempo. So a lot of the songs are about 100 beats per BPM and sometimes faster. And a lot of the songs that like stir people up or at that tempo. So when you got to do an hour and a half, that's like cardio, you know what I mean? There's a lot of words you're spitting out there and moving around.

And, you know, as you get older, you better be active and doing shit to be able to do those type of songs at the highest level that you can, you know what I mean? And for me, you know, for a second, I was just kind of letting go and doing whatever and I gained a whole lot of weight. But I was still doing the shows, but I, you know, given 100% with all that weight. But the way that I felt after the show was fucking crazy. I had to jump in buckets of ice and shit and it was tough, you know what I mean? So I thought to myself, I'm going to keep doing this and this shit's still going to be fun and not painful. I got to take better care of myself and I started, you know, eating better and, you know, working out, you know, aside from just doing the shows and stuff like keeping active so that I could do those shows. So I could endure the hour and a half, you know, and then when I started doing the profits of rage shit, you know, I realized that I had to step up to workouts because those shows are even harder.

David Harley. Than the Cypress shows just because the intensity of the songs are, you know, they're on a different level. The energy driven. Yeah, yeah. The energy driven songs. Okay, so trip this out. You know, I geeked out on this, right? You know, I wear my eye watch and shit and, you know, that thing has an app that counts your steps and calories and all this sort of bullshit, right?

So it'll count your steps and lay it out in miles. So, you know, I did a Cypress show at an hour and a half and it came to about four miles something, you know, four point something miles, right? Did a profits of rage show at an hour and a half and it was like eight miles. That's how much, you know, more movement, how much more energy there was on that show. And that's not taking away anything with Cypress. It's just it's a different sort of body language, different sort of energy, different kind of movement. And man, I lost a lot of weight on that profits of rage. It's funny.

When I lived in Boulder way before I got into comedy, guys, this was maybe the beginning of comedy. I was friends with this dude and he worked at the University of Colorado, the Denver campus in the music department. And what his specialty was Cypress Hill was going on tour. They have a choreographer. Told you to find apartments in. But he was, but he would come in to clean up your movements. So he, we were eating dinner one day. We were friends, not dinner, even over a table.

We went to my friend's restaurant because he was in the halfway house for a while. I was in the halfway house in the rest area. And when he told us what he did, I nearly died. Like I'm like, so tell me this again. He goes, this guy at the time, I don't remember. But his biggest client that I was there when she was in town before the tour started was Janet Jackson. Really? Nice.

And he told me right out. He goes, you got to remember one thing about these people. They're normal people. He goes, three months before the tour starts, I fly out to LA. I meet with that trainer and I explained some of the movements and the endurance and because those tours, there's movement. You know, it's like your shit. Yeah, they dance a lot. They dance a lot.

And he goes, well, celebrities don't take it seriously. So Janet would show up 10 pounds overweight and the tours a week away. She goes, here's the funny thing. In the beginning of the tour, everybody knows this 70% of the vocals are lip sync because they're cardio. You can't do the whole thing. Yeah. By 260 days in, she's, you know what I'm saying? He's doing all her own shit.

You think of all that. And I still remember signing with this agent and, bro, I had an hour, you know what I'm saying? But it was an hour of just material. Yeah. And I still remember going, I'm headlining, but I ain't headlining. And it took me like a year to learn how to headline. To get the chops for headlining. And when I started headlining, listen, bro, I'm always doing something.

Four days a week, I walk, I throw kettlebells. I go to Jiu Jitsu. I swim. When I do two shows on a Friday night, bro, when I get back to my hotel room, it's like I got beat up by 10 fucking white belts from my hips down. I could feel and then say, I got to take two of those Tylenol PMs, not the PMs, the regular Tylenol. And it's so weird how you have to get into touring shape. Yeah.

And if you eat shit, you're dead. Yeah. And you can feel that shit. If you drink, you're dead. You're not 22 no more. So you drink a bottle of tequila when you wake up at 9, you're like, ugh. It doesn't get any easier. It's fucking wild how you read about it.

The reason why you get partly into your field, especially in the beginning, is for the party. Yeah. And after you do two or three tours living there, you go, wait a second. This ain't the way to fucking do this. I got to chop something up. The women got to go. The power got to go. The dudes who have the power got to go.

Everybody got to fucking go. Everybody got to go. Hey, it gets heavy, man. You know, because what you have available to you at that point is whatever you want. And you will indulge in it if the wrong motherfucker's around. And that's the thing. And then that shit starts wearing, tearing on your fucking body, adds years to it. Then you're spending time after that trying to recover from that shit.

And I think if you take care of yourself, obviously you give yourself more years and you're doing yourself a favor at that point. But at this, at this point, you know, like if you're still as a, as a so called golden age rapper or golden era hip hop rapper, I should say, you know, a lot of us still do a lot of shows, you know, not, not just Cyprus, but a lot of cats from that time. And what you see now is a lot of these guys are, are, are now training, getting in shape. Like look at red man, for instance, you know, he trains all the time. He's a fitness fucking junkie. But really that's the, you know, for his health and to be able to do those shows on the highest level. Fat Joe ain't Fat Joe no more. Yeah, he slimmed out too.

I mean, you know, everybody's more or less taking care of themselves a little bit better than the generation before him. And I think you're going to see more of that. And that's good, man, you know, because there wasn't as much education on how to take care of yourself, eating right and the right workouts for, you know, different people. Because everybody, everybody's body and, you know, responds to something different, you know, so. Well, the first general road, you don't know your boundaries. And people are inviting you to shit and you're eating like a savage. You're, you're doing drugs and drinking, you're consuming. Consuming everything.

And you're waking up from radio, which, let me tell you something, if you have drugs, women shows the worst thing on everything that if you don't do, it really makes you fall apart and sleep. I didn't know this. I got older and I got sleep apnea. And they were like, you have no idea. You sleep six hours. Yeah, you sleep, but you don't recover. You don't recover mentally or physically three, four nights of that shit.

You're forgetting your lyrics up on stage. Right. Because you're not, you're not sharp. You're not getting a full sleep. You got to sleep. The working out makes you sharper, putting your pen on the fucking piece of paper. It all helps out. And it's weird how my life is.

I've been doing 20 weeks a year, 20, 25 plus the last five years, Lee. And finally I go, you know, I got to slow it down a little bit this year. Get my ear fixed from the flying. Yeah. I used to swim in the pools and the water stays in there. Then I can't fucking hear for four fucking days. And I got equilibrium. I got nausea.

All that shit. I don't need that shit. You're doing a New Year's Eve show? Not, not that I know of. I mean, we used to do them in New York City, you know, once upon a time, but then we shifted over to, to doing Halloween. But it would be cool to, to do a show on fucking New Year's Eve. Just, you know, the right scenario, I guess.

But yeah, we haven't played on New Year's Eve since, fuck, I can't, I can't even remember. It's been so long. Now who do you go into the studio with next? Is it Cyprus or? Well, you know, right now we're finishing mixes on, on Cyprus's two albums right now. Mugs is finishing the mixes on, on the album that he produced. And then there's another one that was produced by another producer. And he's in the middle of mixing those songs.

So, you know, right now we're, we're in a finish up mode. But so the next time, but the next time I'm in the studio till I create some new shit is with Prophets of Rage in, in the next couple months, we're going to start working on another album. And I'll just be flooded with music next year. Yeah. Impressive dude, man. To juggle all that shit and call some of your agents and lawyers, that drives me up a fucking wall. Yeah, you know, everybody tries to pull you a different way, man.

But, you know, you kind of got to stay the course that you want to be on. And, you know, fortunately I got two bands with bandmates that are very understanding, cool dudes to be around, like good people, funny as hell. Who's in Prophets of Rage? Prophets of Rage is Tom Morello, Chuck D, Tim Cumberford, Brad Wilk and DJ Lord and myself. And that's two guys from Public Enemy, which is DJ Lord and Chuck D and Rage Against the Machine. Three guys from Rage Against the Machine, Timmy C, Brad Wilk and Tom Morello and myself. My Tom Morello story, what was on Sunset next to Coffee Bean on Fairfax?

Not now, now it's a burger place. Before that, it was something different. Maybe it was a Mexican joint. It was something fucked up there. Yes, it was. It was a burrito joint, one of those California burrito joints. I'm talking 2001 guys. Right.

I used to cop on Fairfax Reefers. So I would walk over there and then be hungry and go to that whatever it was. I'm sitting outside one day and there he was, Tom Morello by himself eating. And on the way I drew in the garbage, I don't bother people. He said hello to me and I go, are you always, who the fuck I think I am? Smoking too much weed. He goes, no, it's me. I'll meet you.

And that was it. Nice guy. Cool dude. I didn't ask him for a picture. You know, meat dog. I don't want to take pictures. He'll do it. Yeah, yeah.

When they're fucking eating, I don't want to do it. He was just sitting there in the middle of a bite. Yes. Yes, it was a burrito place because I used to go in there and get the meat, the long meat tacos and shit. I was at 418. Long meat? No, no, it wasn't at one.

It was like a chain. It really was a good chain. Before that whole thing became what it was. It really doesn't matter. I was just telling my boy here. They bumped into him nice one time. He was a fucking gentleman. No, he's a good guy.

He don't mind taking pictures for the fans. You know, he don't turn anybody down. That's what I like about these guys. They'll take the time for fans. Sometimes with the blue penners, you know, they give those guys a hard time. They'll make him work for it. What's my name? If you don't know my name, I'm not signing.

Shit like that, you know. I'm not really familiar with the music industry. For like the last 10 years of the comedy industry, they were doing a lot of self-releasing and publishing. Do you put out the stuff by yourself? Are you on and out like a label or? I put out the prescription stuff by myself. You know, it was just, I put it up on, I believe it was livemixtape.com and Dapppif and let

it be shared out from there and then put it on the SoundCloud and did that. So yeah, you know, we did it 100% independent and gave it out 100% for free. You know, in terms of doing an independent album that I sold, I did one with Duck Down Records called Smoke and Mirrors many years back and that was my one and only like endeavor in doing a solo album and selling it. You know, like with some of the music as of late, I've just given it out in terms of the hip hop shit. But I figured, you know, man, I've been in the game for 20, 25 years and at the time

I was doing these mixtape, this particular mixtape which was called The Prescription, it wasn't even a mixtape, it was an album. I just gave it out for free. But you know, I've been in this game for this long, let me give the fans something special that they don't have to pay for and it's just one of those things where, you know, we gave them free music and it worked out for me. A lot of people love that shit and you know, I made videos for it proper like any album, any other album and you know, I did many shows off of those songs and stuff like that.

You know, I managed to do some solo work in there and mostly, you know, I've been about the groups. But you know, like I say, you know, I don't mind juggling, I don't mind the challenge. You got balls of steel, brother. And listen, that's what it takes. That's what it takes. It's not that even nobody's saying no to you. And you know, it's not like you're a Lannis Morissette. You put out a song, the thing bombed, now you come back singing top ten.

And he scratched my back and fucked me in the movie theater. You know what I'm saying? No, it's not that. Are those lyrics to the song? Whatever the fuck they are. Close enough. And you came in my mouth and you closed your eyes and you know it. Every time she scratch your name, I hope you feel it.

I hope you feel it while I'm here to tell Harvey whatever the fuck. To remind Harvey, huh? This is a reminder. You didn't get away, cock sucker. You might be in rehab, but when you get out, I'm firmly a statement. Oh, yeah. You think he's getting off of that just because he did rehab? He's trying to, obviously.

That's the oldest fucking trick in the book. Me and my buddies were pulling that one in 84. You get busted for two ounces of blow. You make bail. You go to your house. You hug your mother. You do one last line and you go to the nearest rehab and you tell them to smuggle you in coke. If they give you a U.S., you stick to it.

You get a Bible. You go to church. You put a fucking camera on you. You have people follow you and take pictures of you. That is the oldest scam in the book. It's like right now, I go out and be real. And Lee Syed. We're three in a car.

At the light, we make a light and some guy says something to us. He pulls a gun out. Lee Syed has a gun. He shoots a guy dead. The guy shoots B Real in the leg. I take the gun from Lee. I shoot another guy dead. Guess what happens?

I fake a heart attack. I don't know nothing until us three can get our stories together. You know what I'm saying? What about that scene from Boogie Nights? Which one? The guy. I'm not going crazy, am I? The guy who ran the stereo store.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You fake a heart attack for three days. He took the money and just ran. You always fake a heart attack. It gives you 72 hours to come up with the thing. Your attorney sits at the door and I call B Real on the bat phone. Not the line line, but the bat, bat, bat phone. And then B Real tells me, you know, I shot the guy.

The guy's got your fingerprints. And then I come back and I don't know nothing. B Real got shot and he fell on me. And I was holding the gun. The gun must have gotten fired. But before the cops came, I put alcohol on my hand to eliminate the Illuminati. You know, you always, you know, they go into, they do the obvious. Which makes them seem even more.

I mean, he's buried. He's done. He's done because he left a trail of paperwork. Right. He's left a horrible trail of paperwork. He did destruction that's undestructible. But it's the way of the world. You play with fire.

You know what I'm saying? You follow me though? Yeah. You did this the old American way. A lot of people come here, they're naive. They team up with somebody. Next thing you know, they're telling your young dog to be in this rap group. You got to carry a key over to Denver.

You know, to be part of our fucking Swami Salami team. A fucking, you know, non, you know. It's crazy what happens in this industry to people. It's a shame what happens to those girls. I also want the name of the agents that sent them over there. Yeah. Because they knew what was crack-a-lock. And they knew this guy was going to get opened up the door of the road.

And a bowl of strawberries. All the motherfuckers knew about him. Yes, they did. Yes, they did. You know, so they can all be guilty of the same shit. Not saying something. You talked about him at the beginning of the podcast. What about the mothers who agreed to let Roy Moore date their daughter?

That motherfucker wasn't allowed at the mall. You think about that for 10 minutes. You go home tomorrow when you ain't thinking about your children or what's important. Go wait a second. I mean, I'm 40-something years old. I'm a grown man. Nobody's ever thrown me out of a fucking mall. And I shopped after from GNC since the age of 12.

Right? Everybody's told me something from GNC. Muscle dick pills. A lower cream. What is that? A lower? A lower? You know, nobody gets thrown out of a mall.

They made this motherfucker get out of a mall for just a ducting little 16-year-old dog. Waiting on them. Eight of them. Now, here's the other side of the coin. Let me tell you on the other side of the coin. Okay, my brother. You're very fortunate. You grew up in Downey?

No. Pretty much like East L.A. So your mother's from L.A., huh? Yeah. Migrated to California right away. 68. When did she... No stops.

No, she escaped. Right. She escaped. Then, yeah, 68, you were escaping. Yeah. Via Mexico or...? No, she came in through... It was either at the Port of Florida or New York, somewhere around there.

There being the Copa. And then she ended up in California. Yeah, she had a cousin here that came in on the lottery system. You know how in Cuba they got a lottery system? And if one of your kids' numbers pops up in that lottery system, they give you the option to leave the island, but you give up all your credentials, your citizenship there. And they let you go, but you got to start over, you know. So, you know, if you were a professor, if you were a doctor, if you were a physicist,

if you were anything like that, when you were going to the United States, you weren't going to... with none of those credentials. Right, that's right. So, you know, there was a family that, you know, my mother's family knew. And they were going to the States. They didn't have no kids. I guess apparently the daughter had passed away recently. And they passed my cousin for this girl.

And she went with that family, came into the United States and kind of grew up here. And when my mother escaped, she was the only relative here, you know, that was from her family. And so, you know, she was here. She was living in, I think, Inglewood, California. When your mom came, wrapped. Yeah, wrapped. No shit. Yeah, she escaped from prison, actually.

She had a cousin that was, you know, a communist and worked in the prison. And she was anti-communism, obviously, which was why she was in prison. And, you know, he kind of helped her to get out of there because, you know, the future was not right. For her in there. So she escaped from the prison, then escaped from the island on a raft and, you know, ended up in the United States. My mom's have similar. My mom grew up in Cuba, nine brothers, nine sisters, the whole fucking deal. Shitty fucking neighborhood.

When she was 16 and her sister was 15 and her brother, they all went to a dance on Bylet. And my mom couldn't find her younger sister. So she went outside and she heard a noise and some guy was raping her in a bush. So my mom got a bottle and stabbed the guy and the guy died. My mom had to get rushed out of Cuba that night. Went to the Bronx and then went back, got the alias and that's why I never got social security. What a weird fucking escape on a raft. You know, have people ever thought of like, when I watch that at 4.30 for 30,

that's the first time I didn't sleep about something without doing metacoke for four years just deep and thought, have you ever watched it? Yeah, 30 for 30, yeah. With the two Cuban brothers? No. The pictures? No, I haven't seen them. How they got stuck in the Bahamas and they hadn't eaten in three days and they told everybody his hand and, you know,

you know, who the fuck thinks this shit up? You know what I'm saying? It's crazy. I bought them. His brother had just won the world. Ivan. Ivan. And then the other guy went to the Yankees and he became a legend for the Yankees with the high leg kicking shit.

I think about how fucking lucky I was that my mom got me out of there when she did. I'm thinking how a fuck. But I got a New York City birth certificate, G-Money. That's how kinky the system was. Yeah. Were you influenced by any Cuban music? I mean, you know, she used to listen to... My mother used to listen to a lot of the stuff that she, you know, was able to find.

It was, you know, like Cuban music, Cuban bands and stuff like that. So, yeah, you know, I grew up listening to Celia Cruz and, you know, shit like that. You ever hear of a cat named Benny Mone? Yeah. Used to, you know, hear his records too. El Gran Cambo. El Gran Cambo? Yeah.

And, uh, man. And do me a favor, Lee. Yes. Put on for my brother here just so you can see our roots. Los Muñequitos de Matanza. Jesus, these motherfuckers are bad. Brother, these guys eat like beans once a month. Yeah.

And I want you to show you how happy they are because talking to you makes me think that you're related to these motherfuckers in one way or another. Now you never know, man. Like Samoans, they're all cousins. M-U-N-I-Q-U-I-T-O-S, Los L-O-S, Muñequitos, D-E Matanzas, M-A-T-A-N-Z-A-S. Gotcha. Let's see what you got up there. Watch these motherfuckers.

This is, this is your cousins in Cuba right here. I know this for a fact, bro. I've been talking to you. Scroll, scroll down, scroll down. Keep going. Click it, click it. I'm just trying to get it to go away. Can you believe this?

There's one video right there, that one right there. Click this. You've got to watch these motherfuckers. Just click that and go away, please. You're killing me, Liam. I'm going to have to stab you with a pencil. Watch this. Listen to this music, bro.

Watch this chick. I would do anything to marry this sister. Anything. I'd go to Cuba on a sailboat and smuggle her in. You see this little black guy? He's about 92 a week. But he's been doing this every day. That's why he's in tremendous shape.

Now the Cubans, they go for the pussy. Watch this. Old school Cubans. It's crazy if they're playing that with these lids with the thumb bodies on the bottom. No, no, this is brilliant, bro. This is where it got invented, though. They invented this shit. This came from Africa there.

Yeah, for sure. This is second generation. Look how she colors that monkey. Look at that. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me, B-real? You got to get these guys on tour. Look at this.

Liam, what were you doing with that little chubby cube with a fart in your face? After she danced ten rounds of this. I don't want anyone to fart on my face, but that wouldn't be bad. That'd be a decent one. Liam, put that back ten seconds per second. It'd be sweet with the plantains. Put that back ten seconds per second. Listen to that coming again.

Right here. Click it. You were talking all over it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So that guy's 90 years old right there. No, no, no. I was going to say. He looks like he's like 23. Oh, shit. He's in pretty good shape for a 90-year-old motherfucker. I was like, damn, I wish I could move like that in 90.

Oh, my God. These guys get like eight dollars a month. To do that? And they put that. No, bro, these guys tour all over the world. When you go see these guys, your fucking jaw drops. I saw him in Boulder in like 90 fucking three. At the Fox Theater.

My friend called me. She goes, you know what? What the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about? She goes, bro, they're going to be heavy security. But you get in there. And they were fucking phenomenal. And they travel, you know, like my cousins are the other ones.

My cousins are Echialfonso and Emi Alfonso. Put Echialfonso on from the guitar on veil. I just, the other night, me and my wife were sitting there. And Anthony Bordain's in Puerto Rico. And all of a sudden the next one is Cuba. And we're sitting there. My wife gets up. I go, honey, get in here.

My cousin's on fucking Anthony Bordain, V-E-O. This is the shit that putting out of Cuba be real. And anytime you want to go to this club in Cuba, La Factoria, all I got to do is make the call. You're doing it all wrong. Echialfonso with an A. Right there, the first one. V-E-O.

Can you believe it was there? And he messed it up again. There you go. All right. Listen to what they're doing down in Cuba, dog. This is my cousin, Blood. Blood. His father's my uncle.

And I'm my cousin. And I'm my cousin. And I'm my cousin. And I'm fucking around, B-Real. Man. The funky. Chillerly. Chillerly.

That's your roots, brother. You know, you can't deny it. All those little things are pieces of who you are. And then on top of that, your uncle's a mariachi. You throw that shit in the mix. Who the fuck's going to stop B-Real and the shit? You know what I'm saying? You got the mind of a Cuban in the back of a Mexican.

You never met a Mexican on a workman's comp. No. Never. You never see a Mexican. They keep... Right? You never see a... Fuck no.

Mexicans, I know a Mexican who fell off a roof. He went to work the next day. He went to work the next day. They don't miss a day, baby. I even told him the call. I even told him the call. I'm not in the freakin' associates. He wouldn't go for it.

Oh, yeah, but oh, yeah, I'm out of the way. Yeah, you know. Let me give you some shout-outs, brother. And we'll get you the fuck out of here. It has been... You're very fascinating. And it's amazing that we haven't crossed paths before. And now it's only a matter of time, you know?

I want to do something with you for the simple reason, is that I learned something. And we'll really take it to the next motherfucking level. Do me a favor, my little room. Can you close that door? Look at this place. The alarm already went off one fucking time. Jordan Carcaja.

22BD Guy 13. Ace hole. My brother, down there under the Australian warrior. Not so gingerly, cold, gold flavor. Mikey Cooper. Joji Boy. And Beto Avron. What are you fucking nuts?

Or what? Now, are you in for the month of December? Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, we got a couple of shows, but they're pretty much in California, so, you know, we're home. We're home. And then December, you're also right every day. Do you write?

Do you have a collaborator? Yeah, I mean, you know, we... I write, you know, for profits. I write for cybers. I write for myself. I write for others and stuff like that in terms of music. And then, you know, with terms of B-Rail TV and content, you know, we all sort of brainstorm and, you know,

try to come up with ideas there and stuff. So, you know, we all, you know, sort of do that creative part together. But musically, you know, when it comes to, you know, writing, I get in the zone and I do my part. You know, it'll be real, though. I looked around your place, and you know when you see something and it feels right,

you ever go somewhere and you're like, you know what, bro, this other place got the view of fucking downtown LA and I'm looking at white people eating at your poultry and shit, you know what I'm saying? But I felt like I was in a... And I'm not a hippie, bro. I've never been a hippie, but I felt like I was at a place where I could smoke a joint at your place and go into a corner

and write a bit. I would even consider doing like stand-up and streaming from there. To totally do that. There's so many things I want to do with you from down there. There's a lot of things I want to do, but again, I'm like you, bro. I don't have the time. The fuck around would be motherfuckers. With you, I could tell you what I want to do and you'll go,

you know what, bro, try this way because we could do this way, this I could drop at 8.30 instead of 10.30. Don't curse on this bit. You know what I'm saying? Like something. I mean, for us, it's all unfiltered. Yeah, it's all unfiltered, but that's the thing. I really want to do something. Listen, brother B, for us to sit somewhere and start smoking reef

for one of my 13, we've been doing that on Periscope every morning. That's how I motivate the troops. I get on Periscope and I tell them to wash their pussy, a little cup of coffee, some bong hits, and away you go on that bus happier than fuck. You got to go on a bus so, but that's one thing, you're angry. And that dude snows like fucking dick. When you go on a bus stone, it's a completely different situation.

Oh yeah, you tend to overlook often. You dip the bus driver in shit. You give the bus driver a dollar bill and have a good day. Come sucker on the way out. But I admire what you're doing. I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough, but at the same time I am doing a lot. You're doing a lot, you know, plus the reefer,

plus the number one thing is trying to stay alive the next day for me. I try to train or lift weights and do push ups. Staying active. You know what, pretty soon I might have to give up smoking reefer. My lungs, this is since I was 12, and I lived in Colorado from 83 to 95. In that altitude, my lungs got acclimated, but between the crack, the reefer,

the fucking, the fucking, you know, sometimes when you're snorting coke, you snort sheet rocking shit. You know what I'm saying? Normal wear and tear. You follow me, pubic hair. Who knows what happened to my lung? I got the nose fixed and I'm still lacking oxygen, so I hold on every day.

I got shunt export and it expands my lungs. Well, you could always keep up the edibles if you, you know. But now they're going to cut the edibles to 10 milligrams. You know how many edibles? Listen, there's more. You're going to have to eat double. There's some mornings. There's no way to eat doubles. There's some mornings, though, where I eat edibles

and I eat so many of them, that is true. The next morning when you're shitting, you can smell a gelatin in the shit, like a little, like a little, like this, you can smell the gelatin. Or it smells like weed. If it's over, if it's dose-heavy, your shit will smell like weed.

I thought it was going crazy. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's the craziest shit. And then you go to acupuncture, she puts a needle in your neck and a little smoke comes out, like... That's when you know where the shit is. And you acupuncture will ask you,

how much are you still smoking? Last time I went, as I said, are we still smoking heavy? No. I gave it up for fucking the Juulet. Yeah. The Juulet. Smoking fucking heavy. And it's not like when I was 28 heavy, I smoke in the morning,

I smoke when I get back from Jiu Jitsu. Still morning. I smoke at about four. Afternoon. I smoke at about six, and then you smoke a little bit before you watch TV at nine. That's it.

It's not like when you're in the studio all day and you got 20 people around you, like your partner over here, and he's giving you a joint every seven minutes. Every seven minutes, you had a joint for us and shit. That's fucking tremendous. You bring him everywhere with you,

you take him on the road, he's your partner in crime, and I like him. He comes through some of the L.A. stuff, because he's studio manager's B-Reel TV, so he stays home and makes sure it's all running properly when... I make so-so scoffers, leave him here.

Maybe he can help me run my business. Then when he tells us to stay, I'll keep him on my life. He holds it down with the troops. Keep him on us. Be real. It's been a real pleasure, brother. Thanks for having me, brother.

Man, I appreciate that you took the time. I loved... I've got a great response from going in the fucking... The box. The box of debt. I loved that I got in there early. I didn't need an ambulance and shit. I think I hope a lot of people listen to this podcast

because they really learn something. They learn about the music industry, or how to make a million dollars. They learn how to be an artist, which I think a lot of people have forgotten. You know what, bro? For the first 15 years I was doing this, people would go to me here,

and I'm, what are you talking about? I'm doing it at the time. What artist are you talking about? But for the last three, I felt something different. You have to respect it. You have to see how it's affected it. I couldn't wait to fucking go on stage at 7.30 at night. I couldn't wait.

If you said to me, listen, there's a blonde in the next room with a coke rock and a clit ready to pop a nut, or you get on stage, I tell you, I'm going to go get on stage. Now there's times I don't want to get on stage. So you have to know when to strike, when to sit home right, and you proved a lot of things to me.

Maybe I'll do something else. I worked the circus half the year. You comedy the other half, and I'll fucking take over this world, man. Good luck to you always. You're always welcome out here. Do you have any tour dates you want to promote, brother? We got December 1st with Cypress Hill.

Kings of the West. It's going to be Poppin. It's going to have Vice Cube, Snoop Dogg, and ourselves, and a couple others. It's going to be a really heavy gig. It's the first time the three of us have been on. The three groups have been on stage in one place in Los Angeles, California, and I don't know how long.

So it's a pretty big deal, that one. And then, you know, with profits, we have almost acoustic Christmas coming up. I can't remember the date for that one. I'm high as hell. Me too, me too, me too. I ran out of questions. I forgot whatever.

I wanted to ask you about mixtapes, the differences, but even if you explain it to me, I ain't going to remember them. You know what I mean? I'm like Cosby's victims right now. I wake up in the morning confused. I know what's happening. I know he showed me his dick,

but I don't know what happened after that. Cos I saw you have a couple mixtapes. Now a mixtape is something you make where? Sorry to break your balls one last time. Same thing. If you're going to make a mixtape, it's just like making an album. The difference is you're just calling it a mixtape

and giving it out for free. And usually with the mixtape, it's with songs of samples that you can't necessarily clear or more aggressive songs that you wouldn't necessarily put on your album. And a lot of artists got into doing that. 50 Cent was very heavy with mixtapes.

Made some great music doing mixtapes, using other people's beats and shit like that. And then that eventually primed him up to where when his album came out, people knew who he was because he had been putting out so many mixtapes for free. And realistically, it's just an album that you put out for free

and you call it a mixtape. And depending how you make the transitions from one song to the next as well, you sort of have to do all that shit, have somebody host it. As opposed to an album, you're just doing songs and you got transitions, but there's nobody talking in between.

There's nobody hyping up the record as you go along. And mixtapes definitely do that, especially East Coast mixtapes. But realistically, not too many people are... I mean, you don't hear about them as much as you used to. More artists are doing songs now, just busting out songs and maybe EPs and albums, not necessarily so many mixtapes.

Four fucking songs, put it on YouTube or some other Spotify, right? Get a million to downloads and go on tour. And you sell 82 dollars a ticket. Anyone could put anything on iTunes now. You could put your music on iTunes now. Soundcloud was where a lot of people put their mixtapes when they put them out,

and albums and shit like that, that they're going to give out for free. Now, I don't know if it's the same get down, but you could find a lot there. Datpiff live mixtape, live mixtapes and Soundcloud. What's another one? Some other shit.

But those are the three main ones you would find all the good stuff at. But that's the get down. The album is different because it's all shit that you would clear, that you have to clear in terms of publishing and samples and all that stuff. And then you sell that. And that's out in the market for sale.

And that's like it goes under all the statistics that happen where they track the record, what it did, what it sold, what markets it sold best in. Whereas a mixtape, you don't keep track of all that. You get it out as much as you can to the people you give it to DJs. Sort of a similar process,

but not as much resource on it because you're just giving it away for promotion. Whereas the mixtape is the promotion piece before the album comes out to get the hype on the album. Because that's where all the hits are going to be. All the raw, crazy songs are on the fucking mixtape and all the hits are on the album. That's usually the mentality on how people were doing that.

That's fucking brilliant. It's brilliant how the music industry has changed in front of my eyes. You know, I went from being a fan to becoming a novice. I don't know how nothing. I want to get a song. I wanted to download O Malo the other day by Willie Cologne. Jesus Christ.

I had to contact my wife in the other room. She was pressing buttons for 22 minutes. All I had to do was go to the record store. She was in there pressing buttons, writing letters, trying to get a telegram to Puerto Rico to get the rights to fucking Willie Cologne music. You know. So, brother, I appreciate, like I said, you putting me on

and you coming on here and sharing your fucking knowledge of the art of anything. Because an art is an art is an art. It's just how you translated yourself. Thank you very much, brother. Thank you for coming on The Church, man. God bless you. Happy Thanksgiving.

Hallelujah. Stay black. That was great insight from Be Real. Like I said, I went down to the studios. I didn't know what to expect at first. And I talked to his dudes, Ross Dude, the black dude with the camera who was cool as shit. And Lee had gone down there and done a show.

And I came back and I was blown away. And I went up to Lee Joe's podcast and I was blown away. And there's something I like to do, something in between that. You know, something in between that size. Well, they both have huge buildings. Yeah. Those are, but... Which is a little bit more than we need, but it would be nice.

Be Real looks like a, like a somewhere where I would live if I was still being there, you know, like I would fix it. If you were like a single guy. Yeah. A single guy with a fucking heater in that motherfucker. Oh my God. That would be crazy. Yeah.

That's a reality show. You know, the hot water right there, you know, it gives it that feel. But to see guy, listen. What keeps you sharp. The clubhouse. What has always kept me sharp, which I'm going back to do, is not hanging out at the comedy store, the laugh factory or the improv. When I got ready for Gabriel's stay, I was banned from the comedy store.

Not banned. I had banned myself from going down there. And it's weird that I started going to these places and I would watch these young kids and they would inspire me. And I put together like this 20 minute heater set in six months hanging out with these young kids and closing the ha ha out every weekend. I would sit there.

I remember I took and I introduced you to the hooker. She took it to that place and tried to suck it there for the small 40 to kiss your neck. Oh my God. With the bandages? With the bandages. She literally escaped from the hospital. So, you know, it's sometimes you're moving yourself

and reminding yourself away. You're from and scraping up that, you know, that's why I'm dying to go to that place with you. Oh, the fourth wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to go. It's, it's, it's intriguing to me. I got the shame when we have to leave.

We got to leave at Irvine. We got to leave here fucking tomorrow at two in the afternoon. Oh, God. To get to Irvine by six. Did you see the fucking, when they put the, you know, They got the show wasn't tonight. No, you know, listen, my niece is flying in. There's nothing worse than flying into someplace.

And somebody says to you, listen, I'm working. And you have to take a bus or a train or a cab or something. And my world is nothing worse than that. You know, I flew all the way here. The least you could do is show up at the airport. You know, I was going to leave the house at five 30. You guys fucking animal. I would hit, I would smoke a little dope, have a protein shake

and then hit Denny's. You don't take me an hours to get the Denny because the traffic closes to two lanes. You people won't believe this. Listen, you know, I'm not going to leave the house. I'm not going to leave the house. I'm not going to leave the house. I'm not going to leave the house.

I'm not going to leave the house. Listen, you know, you all live in cities and towns and provinces, wherever the fuck you live. And every once in a while, don't you aren't you driving down the street and you say to yourself, I do not fucking believe this sign. Okay, well, if you drive to the airport now about a mile before you get to the airport, it's like road construction starts the week of November 20th and ends on January 4th.

Well, isn't that the busy fucking time of the year at the airport? So they shut it down. You leave saw it. Yeah, they have it and they've had construction there for ever. Since Jesus left Chicago. So instead of four lanes, it cuts down to two for about 10 minutes. You know how many fucking cars are going to drop and pick up people on fucking Wednesday and fucking Thursday.

You people have any fucking idea. And they shut it down to two lanes. Not so much when they drive like animals. They're saying from the fucking Century Road where you make the right to the top of the airport through the intense security this time. Dogs, two sets of security. I found this out Sunday because my buddy is a cop. And I talked to him and I go, I got to pick my niece up on Wednesday

because what time? He goes, that's not a good idea. Now I talk call my Uber buddy and he goes, listen, she's still got to walk upstairs to the platform and stand there like a savage. And if I don't see her, it's going to take me 45 minutes to get around again. This is, I love my nieces. I don't want her out there.

She's coming over with a boyfriend, but what do I know? He's a Martha Dell. This is the first time he's ever come here. You know what I'm saying? So what I'm doing is I said, listen, I told her where she was landing. I know exactly, I know that airport like the back of my hand. She's carrying on luggage.

I said, just walk straight, hook her right and go sign your name and get the next cab out. I texted the address. My wife texted the address and fucking, I told her exactly what to say. So the dude wouldn't rip her off. You follow me and they call me as soon as you get in that fucking cab. And I'll tell you what to say.

I said, I don't get off. I think she can fucking westward to some salami sandwich. You don't need that shit. You're going to fucking, this is where you're going. So I'll meet her at the house and then we'll hang. There's a school. I got to go to Mercy's 10 o'clock karate presentation. Is she hanging a belt?

Yeah, she's got a belt. She's breaking the board. She's got a fucking head tomorrow. Oh, fucking head? I hope so. And then there's like a little turkey dinner there. You got to do a potluck. I'm going to sit there for a fucking hour with them.

And after that, I'll call you up and we'll get the party started. George Perez will meet us down there. We'll pick up the Agostino on a mission from Satan. And just like we did every year, the last two years, I think the first year I was too high to drive, but I was too embarrassed to tell you. I think that's happened a few times. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode,

especially be real talking about art, how you balance and how you stay fresh, because this is what's been burning me the last 90 days. You know, whatever you do as an art is always great. For my girl, Jennifer Jones, it's when you turn it into a business where you're like, why the fuck do I do this sometimes? Because people are going to break my balls anyway.

I don't know. I put 20 years in this is what the fuck it is. I don't know what the fuck to tell you. This could be crazy. But the last episode we were talking with Ida about the sensory that you do when you were talking with, be real about it. Do you think that he came and talked about what's been bugging you?

Is something with that or is that reaching too much? I don't know. I don't know. It was just something that's on my mind a long time. You know, I became a comic to be a comic, but along the way when I got here, I kind of went back from time to time. Guys, nothing wrong with it to get on the set,

get some fresh legs for eight weeks. Why are you fucking on the set? You're thinking new angles. I got to think up a new angles, people. I've been hitting the same fucking drum for the same five years. I got to switch it around a little bit, so understand if I don't come to your town next year. Let's see what happens with Netflix.

If not, me and Lee are going to put something together and blow your fucking brain. I'm going to let you down, cocksuckers. Never. You know why I'm your uncle fucking Joey? That's number one. Number two, it's Thanksgiving. It's our fucking time right now.

You know how lucky we are that we have each other? You know how lucky we are that we have that stupid fucking page? I mean, I loved the kid who was fucking running it, but we got a bunch of momos on it. You know how lucky we are that we get to chit chat about the Viking proms and the pill proms and the blow proms and the sex proms and that, you know, I've always said

I wanted to do a podcast that you took something home with it. I could just do a podcast and sit here and me and Lee could crack funnies and I could hire a writer and it's a fucking radio show. This is not a radio show. This is a radio show from a little misfit Jew from fucking Boston who thinks he doesn't. He doesn't fit in, but he does.

He's a sweetheart of a guy and a fat fucking ex-con comedian with a weird sense, but let me tell you something. Nobody can get you off that bed quicker than I can, all right? So what I want to do is wish you and your families a fucking happy Thanksgiving, especially the church, the inner circle, the fucking Bobby's and the fucking Bobby LaLinguses

and the lawn and the, you know, the arse warrior and fucking your buddy T.J. Straccio and the guy who fucking sends me letters, your buddy Rico Pickett Petruccelli and listening. The LaLinguses. Yeah, no, the guy who sends letters on G-Map. Oh, Dante Gazini. Dante Gazini. Listen, we got a great fucking family.

This is a fucking great family. We had second chances in our lives and we took advantage of them. We're not the fucking king of what we do, but we're holding on. So thank you for giving us another year of your time. You know what I'm saying? Number one, I want to thank Arnett

for always being with us from day one. And this is why I love him. Because now you're an honor customer. You know what time of the year it is. You ration your MCT oil, which is fucking tremendous. You've outgrown your happy kettlebell and you're down to your last alpha brain instant pack because you know Arnett's going to hit you

with the biggest sale of the fucking year. So this Friday, November 24th on it is turning up the Black Friday sale to 11, stock up 25% off supplements including alpha brain, 30% off apparel and gear, door buster deals like 50% off the werewolf legend kettlebell and even exclusive new products like the MCT oils and vitamin D sprays.

If you're already a fan of Arnett, like I am, you know me dog. Between the shroom tech, the shroom tech sport and the fucking chocolate and protein. That's what I live by. It's a time to stock up like a prepper for the winter. It's like stocking up with the edibles now. Lee's got a good idea what he's having for a fact.

If you're curious about that, check out what they have to offer and just give something a try. Arnett doesn't mess around. You will not be disappointed. So do me a favor. Head to Arnett.com Black Friday and sign up for alerts.

Again, that's Arnett.com Black Friday to take advantage of the biggest deals of the year. That's Arnett.com slash Black Friday. Go to Arnett.com. Don't forget to always press in church and tell them your Uncle Joey sent you. Number two, listen. Everybody needs some fucking geeters.

Everybody's looking to make a dollar. Who the fuck are you kidding? Who wants to show up on Thanksgiving with bunny rabbit fucking pockets with a story? You're not gonna believe it. I went out last night. I got pink pocketed. No, you're a fucking moot.

That's what happens. But you got a skill. You're an idiot savant. You know how to pick a game every week. You're smart. You're not like the other suckers that are picking 18 games. You know how to get a game

and load up like a motherfucker. You understand me? Because you can feel in your bones that it's gonna come in. And even though you got eight dollars in your pocket and whatever's in your piggy bank, Columbus took a chance. So are you.

You blast that fucking book for a thousand fucking dollars. And there you are. That's a Friday after Thanksgiving getting your dick sucked in your balls like, I can make that happen. You know why? MyBookie.ag. Listen, you need it and I know where you get it.

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Because you got the bold games. You got college basketball. You got pro basketball. You got pro football. You got pro football players. Listen, it's like going to the ATM machine every fucking day. And that's what it's all about. And while that means plenty of parties, gifts, freaks,

spending, you hang out with fucking, you know, it also means there's a lot of football, basketball, hockey games. And like I said, you could score big every day. Man up and play like the pros on game day. You can play the money line side or total. MyBookie is your hookup for all your betting needs and all for super fast payouts when you win. Bam, bam, boom.

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Number three, you're a fat fuck. You're thinking of joining you just so you hit me on the fucking church part Gmail site. You're too embarrassed to hit me on the church website. You can say, Joe, you're a fat fuck. Where'd you get your goose? Fujisports.com. That's where I got my geek.

First gear I ever got from them, I borrowed it. A friend of mine said, try this on. I don't know what it was, but it fit like a glove. I went home and ordered a size bigger, the Superado. Super-erado, something like that. Tremendous. I ordered the Seiko. S-E-I-K-O. But the Superado is my fucking favorite of all time.

I'm a big guy, people hang on my neck. They tug, they pull. Tip top, magoo, the collar still looks brand fucking new. What I'm going to do for you for Black Friday, forget 10%. I'm slashing it. 15%. Go to Fujisports.com right now. Look at the great apparel they got,

whether it's the rash guards, the new elemental gear is tremendous. Also, it's white and blue. The blue one is badass. And also look at that navy blue-purple one. It's like 99 bucks with the Fuji on the side. Oh shit! You'll be looking sharp at your next UG2 class.

And you're feeling good. It's light. It's tougher than death. Go to Fujisports.com right now. Again, I want to thank my man, Lisa Yat. I want to thank my man, Be Real. And I want to let you guys know December 3rd, the Nova Theater with my man, Wheeler Walker. December 4th, San Diego, the Observatory.

Again, I'm opening for Wheeler. 20 bucks, people. And Tuesday, the 5th, I'm opening up for Wheeler again at the Observatory in Santa Ana. Lisa Yat will be given there all three nights signing autographs and taking pictures and whatnot. Happy Thanksgiving.

I love you, motherfuckers, with all my heart. Stay black, stay healthy. Be careful and have a great weekend. Love you. Thank you, brother. Thank you, brother. Thank you, brother. We ain't goin' out like that.

We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. I'm high, strong, think I'm sprung. Cause I don't live from the hunger.

Where I'm from, I got to be smokin'. I'll be damned if think I'm joking. No, that's all. Come with the static, erratic, no five automatic. Screamin' at ya, the red lights screamin' at ya. No need to have to run after the punk. That's what in the up and up club.

Dig the grave for the ones who got played. Now he's anger, don't make me wonder why. Cause he'll testify. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that.

We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. I got you thinkin' what the fuck is this? Like I know I can't care for business. Can I get a witness to verify

when I depict this style? That makes it ecstatic, tragic. But I gotta pull on the magic. When I grow with my crew, I'll reach out and I can't find my hood on. In my vehicle with the belt unbuckled. Can't roll enough, but he ain't that subtle. Pulled to the curb, so we can't speak a few words.

But he got me stirred up. I love to grab the handcuff. I'll hop and pop and blow your head off. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin'! We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that.

We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. We ain't goin' out like that. You getting just as in, you're right back Side Brazil rule, like main shit You're the top of that rapper Eat a bowl of dick up, then you got my man over here Should be eat a bowl of dick up too

Anybody got people round the way Yo, eat a bowl of dick up, G You're the top of that rapper Eat a bowl of dick up, G You're the top of that rapper Eat a bowl of dick up, G You're the top of that rapper Eat a bowl of dick up, G

You're the top of that rapper