Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #543 - A.J. Benza

Episode Date: December 18, 2017

A.J. Benza ,actor, author, the former gossip columnist for the New York Daily News and the host of the "Fame is a Bitch" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: anchor.fm - Anchor is the easiest way to make and distribute your own podcast. Check it out and make your podcast at anchor.fm/church   Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order and stop using nasty toilet paper forever!   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 12/17/2017.

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AJ Benz uch Wow Lisa at we had a great weekend everything was happy I want to thank stakings for sending us those dirty fucking boxes Stakings I haven't had them yet, but I'm ready for my asshole to explode that fucking bidet Let me tell you something about stakings like Lee came back and he said he shit right away You know why is when you eat a steak and it replenishes your system in shock It's like fucking drinking water on a Hudson fucking River You're gonna be sick for an hour or two, but let me tell you some your immune system You could fuck a crack hole while they're shooting you with fucking

With the flu bug while they're shooting fucking to bowl up your asshole and you'll cough You'll fucking pee and you'll be right back at work tomorrow the morning You know there's like they sell combo packs at stores. That'd be a great combo pack What's that steak comes in the tissue bidet forget about oh my and by the way I was thinking about it if you have like a white elephant like a secret Santa That's a perfect gift for that. I would that would that would be you'd be the top of the office stakings But I was talking about to she but that you think stakings stakings with onion Yeah, you fucking do them up with onions nice little garlic in the pan forget about it

Two or three a minute time red hot fucking roll with fucking provolone. Get about it with some all right a friend Shit I would stand up at this sink and not even sit down and eat them. Just let the fucking juice Oh my god, I was telling these guys I had him I used to kill my mother. Yeah, my mother would cook a Cuban meal Oh, I want to eat. I want to eat fucking steak. That must have killed killed. She never liked that shit Of course, and I went on those for like a year straight every night. I take a shot every night every fucking night While I while I showered the french fries would be getting cooked Oh my god, and I come down with underwear and cook the steak of an underwear and sneakers on like a savage Sacrilegious and then I would eat and pick the fire wouldn't even put the fries in a dish

Oh, I would eat them right off the tin from the oven You just put salt on them and pep and let them cool down by the time they're cooling down the steak I'm just cooking you blast it out and you eat two stakings and you know me You know me dog. I'm Cuban. You give me white wonder bread Fresh wonder bread a little bit of toast on a little bit of buddy. You put the steak. I'm on there But warm warm butter with the fucking With the with the cheese your brand new well cheese on anything. You're fine. You're brand fucking. No, you can't I was telling them I ate them for so long when I played basketball

That was the week I was clogged up. I was it was like I eat 50 vicarins. Yeah I've been up I went up my fingers and tried to get it out. Oh my god. And when you're sitting in the You're in fucking pain and that's why I had those farts that that pre-fart before everything. Yeah, the cork And let me tell you something that whole bus was And then I fought again a follow later they kept saying he's changing flavors It was fucking crazy wasn't the cheerleaders are crying. There was a bunch of cheerleaders like white chicks. That would just Chicks and cry yeah, the Italian Thank you because their father doesn't know their whole life

That's all that fucking life. My father used to fought in the frozen food section We were shot but he'd hang his ass over like the meat the frozen food and he fought and he'd block us in I Was murder but he would laugh so he loved it. I love it I love it when you fart nobody knows it's you know time He fought it so bad at work that the person at work called the fight upon so there was a gas leak That he knew it was his fault that's the best you laugh your ass over You know champion asshole the best story in my entire family was my dad farted and made my cousin throw up And I was like ten and it was a girl and she can run in she ran into the room we're playing video game

She's like your dad farted and just threw up in the bathroom. It was the best day of my life So what the fuck have you been since I last saw you if I've been but I've been you know, it's a good question I haven't seen you. I'm gonna be honest. It's got ten years ten years Just finishing up a they and he maybe what was that was a de-champ. I stopped with E in 2000 So, you know what I did a I did mysteries and scandals at E for five six years Then I did high stakes poker on game show network, which was a really good show for poker fans for five years Everybody watched it. I was I was a Gabe Gabe Kaplan was my co-host I was his co-host because he knows poker and that was a show that just took off

We had billboards in Vegas million-dollar buying games. It was hot shit when poker was at its zenith, you know and That was great. And then the economy, you know 2006 whatever that year was when the whole everything fucking fell out and I fell out everything fell out there. They did the network dropped the show and then it was an odyssey then I just Didn't know what to do And I ended up go. I had a book. I had an idea for a book And I went to New York To live with my sister. All right, my sister bought the house. We lived in his kids

So I went back with my wife and my kids to go to New York because I was writing a book about the summer of 1974 about there was a summer where my father was a tough Sicilian his brother was a doctor But he had a gay son From New Jersey and then his second son who was ten was showing the same signs of being gay also So my father's brother called one night in the summer of 74 It was so vivid I wrote a book about it and I heard my uncle talking on the phone saying to my father out You know Gino was showing the same signs as Larry. He's shown. He has brain damage They called the brain damage in the 70s not not he's gay

Homosexual brain damage and my uncle begged my father. Can you take Gino for the summer, you know? Well, your house is loud. You got the music. You got the homemade one you play stick ball playboy magazines everywhere AJ just Toughen them up. Let's let's get him out of there and my father said sure we'll take him in So for that summer we took in my my effeminate cousin And we thought we'll change him. We didn't know what the fuck we were doing But what happened inevitably was that he changed us my father saw that Okay, this isn't gonna be what I thought it was

he's gay And we got to adapt to him and we got to protect him and nurture him and and make him stronger And it was a wonderful summer and I wrote a book called 74 and sunny that came out in 2015 and It was a beautiful summer and Obviously my my cousin grew up to be gay. He's married now and living in new york, but That summer changed my life, but it was it was an amazing time Because my father who look my father was the Sicilian archie bunker I heard spic nigger. I heard wop. I mean, he didn't give a fuck. He was against all flags

But when he saw my cousin that was obviously gay He said, okay, I gotta check so one day this is when everything changed This is a scene out of a fucking movie and it will be I'm in the pool. My father goes get out of the pool. I gotta talk to this What's matter? He goes, come here get out of the pool and we go to the front of the house And we lived on Long Island nice neighborhood and on the sidewalk in front of the house. It said in in chalk Go home queer So some some kids wanted to there was sending a message to my cousin

My father said who did this? I said, I don't know. I said it might be the dug in brothers There were three irish kids down the street. I said I saw them early. He says I'm gonna take a walk So my father who was an ex undercover cop He puts a fucking gun in his back waistband. It was dungaree shorts And he's holding me my hand. I'm 12 my cousin and my cousin's 10 and we start walking to this house To the irish house and my four my father says point which house. I said they live over there dad He knocks on the door Mr. Dugan is a banker. He comes down. Oh, can I help you? Yeah, mr. Dugan. I'm al-benza. Hi. What's the problem?

Well, I think your sons wrote something on my sidewalk. That's not too nice Well, I don't think my sons would do that. Well, they wrote home or go home queer. They wrote well, listen Mr. Benza, maybe you ought to take this someplace else because obviously, you know, you're wrong my father punched through the screen door knocked the guy down opened the door Sat on top and put the gun to his head and said, I'll fucking blow your heads I'll blow your brains out in front of your kids. Get your sons down here now. They're going to clean my fucking sidewalk And the guy called his sons down. Did you do this and I said, yeah, we did

They cleaned the sidewalk And my father's watching and as they clean he's going you you want to go in the pool you you want some hamburgers I'll put something on the grill. No, no, no, we're okay But I ended up being best friends with Danny Dugan for the next 10 years It was a my father was a lot like deniro and and and many of his movies just tough didn't give a fuck Anyhow, I took a lot of scenes from that summer and wrote a book Booked it well great reviews and it got optioned and now we're close to getting a development deal To to write the screenplay and make it into a film

So the point is I was in Long Island to live with my sister to write the book But for a year, I couldn't get a deal So I lived in New York and I had no fucking money. This is six years ago And I ended up driving a cab 12 14 hours a day on Long Island and then I did another job I worked at Best Buy selling TVs. Now get this Joey. I'm at Best Buy selling TVs with the fucking blue shirt Everybody's 22 years old. I'm 49 And uh, you know, they they have things they have the movies on every TV era

As I'm selling TVs, they got Rocky Balboa playing because Rocky was had just come out on DVD So the movie I'm in Is playing and people are seeing me in a movie with Stallone and I'm selling them a fucking 55 inch TV. How did that feel? It was Initially horrifying And then I got a kick out of it and I had fun with it and I started putting those DVDs in every TV in in the store And matter of fact, I found other films I was in and put those movies in the screen and the the management said, ah, come on

knock it off um No, it was very humbling, but it was uh, it was something I had to go through And the book sold I got a nice advance with that advance I came back to LA and I was able to start my life again with my life and kids and and And I started I started producing a movie which was a great four-year job Produced a movie called so be it it's out in theaters now. It's a children's book. We turned into a film So everything happens for a reason. I mean

When I'm when I was driving a cab I was driving a cab around the the neighborhood I grew up in but I was I was writing down scenes in the book I don't know. It all had to happen as as horrifying as it felt to work 12 14 hours and come home with $40 It had to happen and it worked out for the better just going back home Yeah, to that house and I'm the guy who who left Long Island. I left my little town the guy that made it I'm the guy that oh a j benza in my high school

There's nobody else in my high school that I mean plenty of guys in my high school are Successful in different fields, but no one went to showbiz So when they saw me it was you know, I know some people saw me and they didn't want me to see that they saw me You know that that look like um, I don't want to I don't want it to know we saw him because this is a This is really hurtful that he's here But I did it, you know, and I'd steal I'd steal toys for my little son I'd steal a little the these things called the skyland these these little toys that were really expensive at best boy And I'd stuff in my socks because I couldn't afford to buy it

um I'm glad it happened, but the the the horrifying thing was I'm sleeping in the same bed. I slept in as a kid Now I'm with my son who's two in a single bed. My wife and my daughter are sleeping in another bedroom in a single bed Talk about That was insane to be back in your fucking bed from childhood after having Been in movies and tv shows and you name it. That was really something else I'm glad it happened. No, and it brought you back Yeah, it brought me back. It brought me back to go back. I tell people if you ever confused

You're having a hard time. It's just a feeling you get Where you know, you can't move forward. That means you got to go back to basics Yeah, because it happened to me in 93 and there's brokers. I was I finagled the bank a plane ticket back to jersey And I bumped I told the guy they upfront me a thousand 10 milligram valium's I'd see him in two days. That's why I called my buddies in jerseys So I'm coming with valium right at least I had a couple of thousand right off the bat Right me started right when I came back a year later. I gave the guy the money. What happened. I lost your phone number Man that that was fucked up. You you were a great guy. I was gonna send people to go looking for you

I lost your phone number But I went back and I walked around the streets of where I grew up. I would I forced myself to walk I did too walk take that. There was no ferry in those days. I took the bus Right to port authority and I and there was days I I worked for the car dealership As a as a salesman on 57th and 12th avenue all the way down By demassie cadillac and all that all the car dealerships and I would go over there with just enough money to eat Yeah, I would have to be in a 10 and I'd have to take the seven o'clock bus As my friend's dad drove the bus

And I would get on the this is after doing time. Yeah coming out doing something with my life I didn't get in the force and it took me all the way down to square root But walking in those streets for nine months Even though I was doing blow nine days a week No matter what I was doing I was toughening up and I went to colorado and here I am it was because of that little Nine months that really put everything into I went into a club. I saw like a zamo on stage

It put the process together. I had already started stand up But I really didn't know what I was doing. I was walking around waiting for Johnny Carson to see me You know, I mean, that's the mistake we make We're waiting for the real I thought somebody was seeing you and nobody would see me like I gotta put work into this Oh Now I get it, but there's something interesting that came up. You're 55. Yeah, when's your birthday? June 2nd Oh, so you just turned 55. Oh I'm turning 55 in february

February 28 19th Okay, and it's real interesting because I want most of the people that listen to this show the demographic Is not our age They're younger. They're very young. Yeah, you know, lee's 29, you know 29 right now I'm out. I didn't start at 30. It's funny when we watch tv when we watch old films and They have cell phones. I know and we're talking about in front of lee or whatever You know explain to these people because people have no fucking idea I told the story on comedy central. I had a bunch of rude

Off a joke. I told Understanding about a guy that I grew up with that was Martin the fag In spanish, he was my thing of money called money called sure everybody knew who he was. He was a him Kind of so For a big play in the city, right? And this has got to be 74. Yeah Yeah, 74 because I'm I was 73 10 I went to see the Mets play the fucking ride remember the Mets play the reds in the world series with Pete Rose big time beat up buddhavelson

And it was about two years after that That uh, he pulled the gun at my mother's bar my thing of money come really because somebody called him a thing of money Going out to his face. It was well known. He was gay But just don't break his balls Good for him and every night he come he would his whole thing was he was a seamstress Then he'd take the bus over to jersey take a shower Get an ounce of blow in 20s And take it to cbgb's and all of those cars in the city

But let me tell you something I'd see him once a week and he always had a black eye A tooth missing got to ship you every night. There was some drama and I sat on stage room You know, you should thank faggots like martin because he was one of the originals He took the beatings for you. That's a great line. It's very hard to explain to somebody like lee How hard it was To be gay in 1975. Oh my god. It was a very small community. Forget it. But you didn't accept it There was a time you couldn't have long hair In neighborhoods where he came of course not why I came from when I was when I first moved from new york city

Yeah from adhc to north bergen when I was 1210 There was no long hair. I had long hair and it was hard It was hard and I had and I was I'm sicilian. So I had dark skin. I was called nigger a lot A lot. I had fights because I was called nigger. I know there's what isn't a looks thing but A few weeks ago. Joe was telling a story about someone was cross-country skiing in their neighborhood And that just wasn't allowed and some guy was sitting there and the bus, you know At the time first of all the mindset was this and that snowed it's 1983 It snowed

Two feet of snow and those days it crippled the city. Yeah, we couldn't gamble because there was no daily news Right the book only had action on two teams brown The same Lucius and fucking martyr And the coke guy was out of service. Yeah because he couldn't get out of his car worse So for three days we're scratching like monkeys, right and my friend in front of a bar window waiting Right for heaven to come down from the skies. Yeah, he's got like a mug of beer He's got a espionage on he's losing and i'm sitting next to him And he's by the bar window and he's looking at and there's not a car on the street

The the streets are ice Everything is parked some cars haven't been moved three feet of snow on top, right? And we're sitting and he's in a half a mood And all of a sudden he looks out and there's a fucking dude cross-country in 1983 And my friend looks and he goes, what the fuck is that? I'll do it now. No, he goes. What the fuck is that? And he jumped out of his chair and he chased him And he's got to beat the fuck out of him and we all kicked him one time, right? We go back in we had a janitor in those days from the high school that we were waiting for he was drunk

They're all drunk. We wait till he gets drunk. Oh my god. He was epileptic. Yeah, so he would have We'd steal the epileptic nose Split them in half and we got fucked up anything now we're fucked up to the gills Yes in the morning. I'm seeing police lights on the wall And I go out the dude we beat up is in the back of the car with a blanket on shaking, right? I know I know It was it was so tough You know

To be gay Like it was so tough. I mean, I look I didn't know what it was. So it didn't bother. Yeah, I just heard Okay, so so we when you guys were 10 Or 11 13 whatever the age was. What did you think of gay people? Honest to god, I I didn't think about them at all. Um, My I grew up inside my house was my mother My aunt lived with us My mother my my the other aunt was two doors down and her daughter

My two sisters lived with us. I grew up with all women So I only heard my father came home at 10 p.m. Eight dinner had two scotches. I went to bed I heard female stories all day But there was no gay there were no gay stories. There was nothing like that to kick around But when my cousin showed up You know, my father it was a phrase my father would say, um When my uncle called and said I think Gino was uh, brain damage It was a very quiet night. It was like one o'clock in the morning and and I'm looking at my bedroom door

And I saw my father go to my mother Larry thinks Gino's uh Funoikia and he grabbed his ear. He shook his ear And I don't know what that was a thing they did back then and I don't know what it meant While you grabbed an ear when someone was gay And I what I what I deduced is like because gays wore earrings back then guys, you know fags wore earrings Oh, you couldn't wear an earring right? Right. No, so I think that's what I did the ear. I think that's why I did the ear

And I tell you when when when they when my uncle came with the son with his son and we went on the boat We went fishing the ladies were so concerned like how's everything what happened? You know, is everything good? And and my father was like it hurt him it hurt him that his brother's son was gay and he said My mother said well, look, you know, it's not the worst things in the world my my father. I remember he said It's fucking close It's close. He got mad like You know, I'm a man. That's not something a father wants to go through So this is many many years ago now if my son

Was gay I would buy him the best makeup. I would make sure he had the best fucking clothes It wouldn't bother me. I I I it really wouldn't bother me. I swear to god. My son's an athlete. He's a great athlete I wouldn't bust his balls. I wouldn't go to bed at night and ring my hands As I got older in life. I just want my kids to be happy now Being happy and being gay It nowadays is easily achievable. But in the 70s, it was fucking impossible You're gonna get fucking killed when I moved to jersey the toughest family in the neighborhood Had a kid that was a feminine

And at that time I knew but let me tell you a funny story We called him you know, yeah, we you've been to cuba a couple three times. I love cuba has a very huge gay society Sure, very big prostitution society. I know I I enjoyed it. Yeah cubans are a haven of debt But they're also society to have is this and I've talked about before it's an amiqua society amiqua It's santeria. I went I love all you can see the bracelets mean you was crazy There's a thing that abaquan they were the long showmen's of cuba really and they were the men of cuba They were the Sicilians of cuba. They were so Sicilian They couldn't eat pussy. Oh, you're right about that. They couldn't be in another room

They couldn't be in a room if lee was gay. I have to walk out of the room right nothing against lee Then I'm gonna say nothing No, but they don't want to be around. No, they don't want to be around it Because of my santeria roots. There's a lot of gay guys in the santeria room And there was one in particular that was about eight And he was partners with my mother in some venture Jesus Christ good guy good guys to remember But whatever he would see me he would scare me. Yeah, and he would always he wouldn't say sexual things to me because my mom was in the room

He would always say to walk ahead And in some Spanish national and some Spanish circles That means I'm gonna fuck you one day one was there one was abaquan one didn't play that shit at all If we came time to hug him he would put his hand out and shake their hand It was embarrassing how one acted but he never lashed out of him. In fact, he always spoke to him my mother's bar He was friends with martin When he heard that that guy say that to me he pulled me inside one day And he goes don't ever let that motherfucker say that to you again. Yeah, that motherfucker says that to you again

You either knock him out or you kick him in the fucking balls. Right. I'm telling you to shoot him I mean it was It was scary and that the situation came up and he said it and I went off on him in front of my mother my mother got pissed and But uh, my it was such a touchy. It's very situation in those days And I see it now today. I have gay friend nothing. I don't care. I don't care at all about that does not bother But I'll tell you my brother-in-law is 70 is 71 years old. He's been with me since some five years old. So he's like my father and Spanish Puerto Rican

Tough queens guy, you know, and When his little son Jackie was growing up You know, we were watching the cabaret and my sister put him She put a little rouge on his cheeks. She put him in a little she put him in a little black dress It was funny. We just were laughing around the house. My father dressed as joel gray From cabaret and she made her son to look like like kind of like liza manelli. He was like two is three Well the foot my my brother-in-law saw it You would have you would have thought he saw him sucking cock. That's how fucking mad he got

You know Spanish Italian the lat the latin people they don't they he get that fucking dress off my son His face got red. You know, I'll tell you who was the worst And um, and if I ever get to meet him, I'm gonna pull him aside and ask him why he put that in his pilot Oh, and it was brilliant the pilot empire Yes, sir Okay, the pilot empire there's a scene in the beginning Where the kid comes down with a dress. I know and shoes on I remember the fucking poem ballistic

And he picks him up and puts me in a garbage can and he puts the lid over it So dream your scene. Let me tell you something guys My first friend when I came from cuba with a ball under 27th And west end there whatever that street is right off the west. Oh, yeah, right up on the upper west side It was a black ball right but it was numbers my mother's partnership was numbers dude But I would go in there and I became friends and and I became friends a little black And the kid was my goomba who ran around and went on and we bought james brown records

Right. I love it. He took me to the projects and I ate with his family It's great. There was sometimes my mom let me sleep over on saturdays And they picked me up on sundays And I still remember 1968 like it was yesterday The father in that house going off About the brother-in-law was gay Well, you know when I'm in this fucking mother fucking chat. I don't want no mother fucking gay niggas my mother fucking Now I know he would say shit. I was five and I was scared. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I would go home and ask my mom

Mom my mom didn't really know the whole cuban She didn't know the american translation. Yeah, she took go to bed But it was all about their brother-in-law Being gay like the the wife's brother. Mm-hmm. And I don't know if it was on a saturday night, right? And he embarrassed the guy in front of us And then he told the wife one time when I was there eating I don't want to mini when I'm eating because he's gonna ruin my motherfucker. I don't have to take Shit like that. I don't have to be I still remember being five and going wow. Yeah

His hatred for that man and finally years later. I figure out why the guy was fucking gay That was the biggest hate I ever saw in my life for gay. Yeah was the black and that's why Years ago when they said they're gonna put gay players in the NBA. Oh good luck. No way. Good luck Gay players in the NFL. Good luck. Well, they're in there. They're in there But they in the closet big because they know sure that they're the front Listen that thing with ricky jackson. I heard it was about somebody went upstairs and said listen We think ricky goes on both sides. Yeah, right. They had to ship them out two days later ricky williams ricky the guy from New Orleans They're running back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's got that vibe. I could see that

I said that one that was when he was in New Orleans. I could see that that was one of the rumors And then they shipped them right down to my hand. I could see that he seemed like someone who was just like like he was a hippie He just he was hippie. Yeah, it was sweet. He just whatever whatever. So he couldn't give a fuck about money Yeah, I could see he had no use for money. He's married now. He's got a kid But people still say it was a I don't matter. I guarantee you know that guarantee He got high one night and went home with a guy that gave for a day two beers and a shot man I guarantee he swaps bit with some guy or something. Listen. I got gay friend. I got a gay friend who tells me we we left He says to me, you know many guys

Two beers and a shove and they'll take a shot at the other team And he says to me and I've seen I know stories from him. He's he was the Andy Warhol crew He's got great stories about people we know now that have experimented but That happens a lot that happens a lot in show business my god I I'm not going to mention names obviously, but my god. Does that happen a lot? You know, uh, hey, hey, how do you feel? You know, like james franco is a guy like that a lot of guys go I don't want to go through life with one hand one hand top behind my back

You know, I'm not Nowadays everything's about being gender fluid and hey, you know, I'm not going to put down what this guy does You know, hey, you know act is a great like that But uh, the american public The the vast majority of the movie going public Doesn't want to know that they're not ready for that. I'm not ready for that You can't tell a guy in illinois james franco sucked a cock wants to try when I used to come home from my my gossip rounds I lived in the west village. I lived in I lived in the gayest building

I was in the meatpacking district her ratio in washington I mean and I had three yorkies so people thought that I must have been you know playing on both sides But I come home four o'clock in the morning And I'd see all the transvestites there and I went around a couple of nights with remember i'll be sure come on Yeah, so i'll be and I would drive i'll be I loved albie because he loved to fight Night and day and i'll be loved to fight when we would go to night clubs if there was any shit He would jump right off of me and we'd fight guys One night we're driving around in this range rover

And he goes, uh, I'll drive you home. I was all right He goes watch this and my area was all trannies And he stops the car with a bunch of trannies and he likes he puts down his uh his dark window And he goes uh, hey, babe. What's going on and this tranny goes Oh my god, I'll be sure what the fuck. Oh my god Now five of the trannies come And he puts the window up and we drive off and they're running after us He he liked that he liked having that kind of uh

That kind of relationship of that kind of fun with the tranny crap and when I get home from my rounds There was a couple there was one girl named coco Ha Who I'd see with the fucking uh deli downstairs put makeup on in the mirror, right and she would tell me Hey, man. Hey, hey, Mike Tyson was here tonight. Our city. I was here tonight eddie murphy came tonight They're up and they're up in limousine stop it off seeing the girls. I'm like you're full of shit. She goes And now you look back I completely believe it eddie murphy

Come on getting pulled all around sunset taking that tranny home I'm sitting on the hall. Can you can you sit not right down here and tell me unequivocally? He's straight You can't Mike Tyson. I think he likes anything Mike Tyson No, I'm not saying no, no, no, no. I love Mike. I just was moving last week But I'm saying when you're that sexual I think Mike is one of those guys that has taken a shot with everybody I really think that I think if a guy's in the room is my choice him was fucked up on coke like he was getting

And some dudes that I'll suck your dick Mike would let him Richard prior like guys suck is I don't want to know who anyone's fucking like this is Richard try it. That's a great example. Listen. I remember working on the best dance board show And one of the girls in wardrobe or something was black And we became friends Nothing. I'm not nothing like that. We're just on the set She was a fan of stand up. Yeah

And one night she was explaining to me about the whole of the Murphy thing As guys I was blown the fuck away. Well, look at his look at his wife. His wife looks like a man The jack's wife Nicole my my fucking film idol. Yeah, no, no kid 48 hours and trading places. Come on Now it wouldn't make a difference to me. I don't give exactly. I don't it's like I always knew Judas Priest singer was gay I knew when I was fucking 19 17 I knew this guy jumped the fence. It didn't make a difference to me. Right. It never did my mother didn't raise me at all Yeah, I don't care even kids. I don't care. I'm just intrigued by it. I wasn't even intrigued by it

I just didn't I was more blown away Like when they said Eddie Murphy and then I I remember going home that night not saying a word and not like I don't know what the fuck Eddie Murphy. I could he sold it. Yeah, but then I saw him at the comedy store And everything went away. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, everything went away. Well, he was dressed who he was with right. I used to see it and then I saw banks uh richer prize old manager one night And he goes cuba watch watch you watch me fuck with these mother fuckers. There was Eddie arcenio The singer from

Boston. Oh, yeah What's the guy's name? I don't know his name. Come on the singer. I don't lead singer. Who's bobby brown What band was bobby fucking brown in first edition first edition? Yeah, who's in first edition Get the five characters in first edition. I can't think of their names. I know who's the most the singer They're the black singer really good-looking. I can't google black singer. No No, there's a lot of new addition new addition new addition. So new addition singer just new addition Just the band new addition

Bobby brown johnny gill gill gill big time. There you go. No doubt It was eddie murphy didn't get it. It was eddie murphy's gist house johnny gill arcenio hall Yeah, and paul moody. Okay. They're sitting by the comedy store sign And banks walks up to me and rogue and maybe somebody else. He goes. Hey, watch me fuck with these motherfuckers And he goes up and he goes, hey, what are you guys gonna do the queens of comedy tour? Like right to their faces and let us say nothing to him and as soon as uh

somebody johnny gill walked away charlie murphy Eddie murphy like just nickled for him really and he came over again if you listen to this Doesn't bother me at all. Yeah, I don't just let you know this shit. We see yeah, I say listen It's it doesn't matter and johnny gill lived in eddie's guest house for a while and i'm a big fan eddie murphy still Love them I'm gonna say eddie murphy used to come in and tip my wife a yardstick for three waters really that's great Two yardstick so you're any waitress who waited on the yardstick on those guys are the best

And one night my wife gave him two waters. He came in there with johnny gill And my wife said I was walking to pink dot to the car And I heard a car beat and it was eddie and johnny gill. They pulled over there. He goes. I forgot to give you this That's a stand up fucking guy and it was that I love eddie murphy. No, that's great stuff And that's the the funny thing. I tell you my wife will tell you my wife will tell you it's a funny thing about the negative responses you got to that story about uh martin arm about martin because yes, you said the word faggot, but it was a very positive story No, and this is what happened

He did something You know, I came from a macho society. Yeah, Cuban. Yeah macho society right not to mention like I tell people I grew up in north bergen, new jersey. This is really weird and I didn't know this for sure But I always knew I thought a little fucking crazy I grew up in north bergen, new jersey when I moved there. It was an italian iris cesspool Right, right, but it was italians that had moved on up from hoboken. Yeah, and then I watched the sinatra documentary How those italians Were not allowed because there were italians and the irish were fucking with them

They weren't allowed about above night street in the 40s So these kids parents that I was talking to like I like ask Elise for example I would go to the house in the summer and eat and she would say let me tell you how much are you paying for that concert 22 22 let me tell you what seems for three dollars. I at st. Rockles. I saw Sinatra This guy and I had money for chinese and we would talk like that she would go listen All right, because she was from the city and she would go to those dances because I would talk to Sinatra The mother right right whole fucking thing. You know everybody knew everybody. I know two dollars. Yeah It's all those people from hoboken

Move to north bergen. So I always tell people I'm from north bergen But I got when my mother died who took me in sicilians from hoboken Who's who's the baby's godfather sicilians? Who's uh They're all from hoboken and we all you know like I tell people I can't sing I got one thing from hoboken balls. I don't give a fuck. I came out here to swing. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like Sinatra this way and I love it. It's just really weird that people I always want people to understand like

You got to stick up for yourself and these two dudes said to him one day. I mean, I can't tell you they were drinking There were both bookies one guy's name was anado and his brother was umberto And they were but umberto had a regular job But our dardo was the bookmaker that belonged to the bar right from 10 to 3 To 10 to 5. He sat at that stool. Yeah from 10 to 3 He took numbers at 3 the number took off But if you want to give him action for the next day, he'd stay there till 5 But they get their drink on and when they got their drink on martin was going into the city

To sell coke and came in there was because around the corner from my mom's bar was the last Bus stop to take the new york city was in front of a post office Yeah, coming out of the union city of new jersey mixed we walk and they call I know we all can sure right out of the tunnel Right out of the tunnel so martin came in and I was playing that stupid game Maybe that stupid game that was bowling pins and you had a metal puck and it had sawdust Yeah, of course, of course. I'm playing this game league. This is unimaginable to you. No, I think another game It's like a shuffleboard. It's like a shuffleboard type of thing

And I'm playing this game, but martin's where you are. Yeah, and the bookies are where he is So he says And there was like a minute of Calmness and then martin went in his back. No and pulled down like a 38 and he goes oh yeah, let me tell you something Unless I suck your dick or your dick or you suck my dick Then you call me martin saying martin call until then you call me martin And my mom's yelling at martin to put the gun down. Coco is right behind you because she knew umberto packed Coco's right behind you. Don't get this shit off in the bar right now. You're gonna get it. Oh sintonio

Better because that's my real name. Jose and tony. Oh, yeah, so sintonio. Where did I eat? I froze I was right there and he's like Nunkka into weed. I'm ready. I call me a faggot again. Let's get there And then my mother said to him again martin coco's there and she got and he goes Coco needs to see this don't ever call me a faggot again My mom started yelling him get the fuck out. You're not allowed in here again martin. I don't care how long I love Wow, he pulled the gun out disappeared. I was just shocked. They said something to each other

I never thought about again three days later was a knock on my door I opened it up. It was martin. He goes. I really apologize for taking the gun on for the My mom won't let me in the bar unless I apologize to you. I go martin. Are you fucking kidding me? That's great. You're my personal child. That's right. I fuck child. That's awesome. You are the king What you did your day in front of me that is great. You blew every circuit in my mind now When I was like six I saw my stepdad beat up a guy in the Bronx for hitting the dog You know humans old humans today in fact today sent Lazarus birthday December 17th. I stayed up last night a little purple candle. Oh nice. Yeah, you got today's December 17th

Today's don't hit a dog day. It's because in a year from now, you're being fucking crutches saying oh, you'll have leprosy That's awesome. So he hit a guy for that. That's big in Cuba. I hit the dog And then when dogs are all over Cuba and then one time in At a santeria party He shot a guy in the leg on a hundred forty eight and brought away And then we got in the play through gun It was right broadway goes down into riverside drive in those days Which went into right by there. It was a park. I never forget we ran up 147 because 148 was came up to

Came up to hill right 147 went down. He parked on like 147 then broadway We made a right. We drove a couple blocks. He goes wait right here. He took the gun to the Hudson We drove home. He never said anything again Never said anything again So that I haven't already seen the real deal. Yeah, but what he did that afternoon at four in the afternoon It blew me away. So I I always loved the guy until I robbed him You know, he was dealing tremendous cocaine. What are you gonna do? I had to take what are you gonna do? You gotta

But you still loved him. I loved him to death. Business is business. Yeah. No, no, no, I fucked up as a kid I fucked up. I know But I never but it's funny that you said something because I have a video on youtube that people were really getting pissed at me over the years That I just miss said the words What'd you say? Well, we were kids. We used to go to boulevard east. Yeah 16 17 18. We used to go to boulevard east

and mug dudes that were coming That would get drunk in the city and would go over looking for the guy that sucked their dick And went on the street where guys would stand by boulevard east by suicide bridge If you wanted to get your dick sucked After a while, we just started hanging out there and we'd make guys pull over got out of the car We'll suck your dick under the tree. Wow, then we'd jump you I said fag, but I shouldn't have said no. I know what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Nine out of ten of those guys were guys that were probably married, right? Just oh, of course they were sure sure Yeah, I had a buddy who It wasn't my scene. I wasn't I didn't do coke as a kid. I didn't do coke till I did coke In college I got out of college my father died when I was 21 And when I got out of cup one of my buddies came back from college and he had that coke and a tinfoil wrap I said, what is this? He got trites coke. I said, uh, I what year is this? This is 1980 I was 21. So I was born in 62

You know 83 82 81 like that 81 and I said that It was still fucking delicious. No, it was great. I tried it. I said look my fucking throat closed up My father just died. My father was an undercover narc agent. So I just I had a bad feeling about it My throat closed up naturally an hour later. I loved it and I loved it and then I didn't do coke again I just said now I'm done. I got married young my first wife Uh, my bachelor party, of course we did coke. I had a 1980s wedding So forget about it. My my my all my ushers have fucking coke. They fucking had bloody noses Please I have the pictures with the white shirts with the red red spots

No, coke again and in like in 1990. I don't know four Number seven six nine ninety six my nephew was in college and he goes Me and my buddy want to try cocaine And I said, oh, you're not going to try it. I'm going to try no you're going to do it with me I don't want you going to some jerk off and get some beer. I'll I'll get this stuff I have all I know who to get it from and I did it with them And then I got hooked I I didn't like in my 20s. I could just drop in didn't care about it

But in my 30s, that's what's so fucked up about that drug. You don't know in my 30s. I couldn't Couldn't get enough of it. So for a long time. It was like I did it constantly Whenever I could I had plenty of money plenty of time. I wasn't I was working like Two days out of 10. I had filmed a few shows And then I was off forever. So it was easy. I was home and uh It's so weird and then then it became a problem for me. But um, yeah, that's a fucking weird But my buddy He got so crazy with it that he would go

Try to cop some crack And this is what he did He told some guys who were driving around with crack I want to see what you got And he drive what he drive with the car and he'd say I want to cop and they'd show him the crack in their hand And he fucking hit them with a hammer And the crack would fully grab the crack and drove off. So he did this like five or six times He got a bunch of crack the word got out

He got guys with welds on their head the size of golf balls It was a small hammer, but fuck, you know, you go down So that was his big ploy for a while that hitting the big guys in the head with a hammer for crack But he said he got he he went to jail and got lit on fire. He's dead Fucking guy Glenn Glenn edgridge. He got lit on fucking fire. Oh my god. Oh my god evil evil drug Tony better, buddy Oh my god You know, this is the song my mother sang to me because she thought I was treating girls wrong

She said I want to be around she'd say to me who the fuck you think you're doing I was like you kidding me master I Got anything like this in there when you kind of drink nothing somebody breaks something your heart a beer Oh, yeah, I mean shot of that in the mirror. We're good. Somebody hit me with gold I'll go with them the teacups Although we gotta I don't want to Sit back in the bottle like a fucking but I'll do it

Something inside the fridge buddy a cup and a beer and we'll go That'll make that'll that'll make the show a hit That's Is Sponsored by Tito's no, no, it's fine. It's right here. I love to be sponsored by Tito's Oh, I thought you wanted off the table completely Give me the beer, please Next I'm gonna tell you pick the fucking sausage out of so

Let's see We have you have a thing on your I'm sorry to bother you. What you have an opener Oh here we go. I got him. I got this is perfect Oh, here you go. That's when I'm this guy. What a Fucking nuts or what some guy just got lit on fire. We had to take a breather for a second couldn't help it No, no, let me do some shout outs real quick before we go deeper the murky waters here Riding floor tech cubie kenko

nick marquez basement monsters norm not a problem woken marv dog joe zahra gunzales walker pierce And the mini prod. I love you cocksuckers. You want dates? I ain't got no fucking dates. All right. That's how we're doing it A.J. Benz is still on there That is fucking hysterical. Yeah, fine. Yeah, his brother was my best friend

He was in and out of the joint Ronnie Ronnie was the best Ronnie when I hear you I know you for years, but I just Because I started my podcast six months ago. I've been to podcast now and I started listening to yours And you sound just like the guys I grew up with except you sound exactly like my buddy Ronnie macelli In and out of the joint the funniest fucking guy in the world with friends since we're six years old He's down in florida now Of course where everybody goes when they got a fucking run away from shit

She'll like him She's like a lot of guys I grew up my cousin phil who's a building inspector. You got all that stuff So when I listen to you talk I get so into it because I feel like I'm listening to my buddies. It's the best I love it So you went to college with cw post out long island to be a writer. I went for journalism. Yeah, I came out and um I didn't want to go to fucking, you know, Ohio to be a reporter or alabama No, normally you gotta leave new york to get into a newspaper job. I said, I'm not leaving. I can't leave I can't I could never leave my mother or father

And I got a part-time job at news day, which is a big newspaper in on long island big Like top fucking five in the country and I was doing high school and college sports And that was nice. I go to games write the fucking highlights. I enjoyed that. I like being around sports And I wanted to be a full-time writer. It wasn't happening and then eventually after like five six years one night This is great. I got divorced I got divorced I had a little money

And I sold my house and I said i'm gonna go to fucking new york. It was vulg magazines 100th birthday party at the fucking Some museum in Manhattan and I didn't know anybody I said i'm going i'm going So I fucking go to new york. I try to get through everybody's there velvet robes you name it bob Wyatt it was no way I was gonna get in and as I'm trying to get in mickey ruckett's thrown out And I love mickey popo grandage village. I still have the tattoo on my nickname is pope for fucking 30 years because of that movie So he he gets thrown out And it was like I couldn't make this up. He turns around looks at me and he goes Where are you going?

I said, I don't know. I couldn't even speak to him was mickey ruck He goes get in the car. We're gonna go downtown just like that. He didn't know me from adam I get in a black town car his buddy's driving He's got bob dillon on knock knock knocking on heaven's door. Mickey's getting high. We're going downtown We ended up a place called rex downtown. He says don't worry in two hours. The whole fucking party's gonna be here Two hours later Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, claudia ship. Yeah, every girl you can imagine walks in they're all over mickey mickey Isn't that and I saw shit that night. I saw Cindy Crawford making out with chicks. I saw girls putting their hands down mickey's pan

Insanity and I'm a guy who was just married for five years on long island putting up fucking wallpaper with my wife going to home Depot on the weekends. I was a regular guy And I said Jesus christ So the next day I called a gossip columnist at new york news day and I said You know, I work at news day in the sports, but I said I was out last night I got a couple of tips for you. I saw I told her what happened. She goes. Wow. She says, uh, why don't you go out for me every few nights I'll give you 50 bucks a night Just bring stories back. I was all right

So I started hitting Manhattan. I knew nobody what year is this? This is 1991 I knew nobody and I'd I'd wait there by the velvet rope like an asshole. I'd wait there and uh I had a little bit of money I was doing something you remember the tout services where you coat gamblers would pay you Why did you pay for mic duffy? I knew mic. No, I was with stew fine. I still still raised me on that I did that stew stew is the long island still doing it on the internet God bless him. You go to instagram and look at stew funny. He's out of his fucking mind still love him

I just saw him not too long. I love the guy. He's a he's an animal He taught me And I I worked for major wage. You're a profit line Curtis. Who Curtis slope Yeah, I remember that name, but I didn't work for him now. I mean that's who I work the captain I work for Curtis. You did in colorado. Oh, wow This is 91. Okay. So I work for Curtis in colorado and stew funny that would come out And what happened was that I worked for them for two football seasons I was terrible

But they had to pay me the second season Because they're competitive One of their guys quit that they grew up with because all those hot guys had grown up together I know I tell that story all the time league. They were jewish the slopes him his brother his mother did this in a basement By themselves they taught me how to sell football season. They taught me how to close It made 700,000 dollars. No, no, no bullshit the first football season ever The mother and the two sons

Did in the basement the guy your guy told them how to do it and send them leads It's it's amazing the business how much did the guy get here's where his way works The way it works is you get leads you we used to get the List of names from casinos in vegas or a lannick city of guys who gambled and then you cold-cold And you say how the game's treating you whatever the fuck you use a different name And back then they could pay you through west union through visa master card the fucking card I'm going to an old exactly you're gonna sit there betting what 200 a game like a moot that you are I'm telling you hold on one second. Yeah, I know right. That's it. Is there a line of fucking coke

I just got from the fucking columbian. Listen to me. I'm gonna go out to that with this chinese girl She's gonna suck fucking my balls while she doesn't pump a coke You're gonna sit in your little fucking apartment in the Bronx Fucking wishing that you won now one of your bets is opposite mine. I have a fucking card I'm going two and oh forget about two and oh Let's bang one in for 10 g's right now as a matter of fact Put me on hold go in your mother's room. Get the fucking phone Grab that phone and talk all the book and see how much you can put in there right now

I'll fucking hold right now. Good. I guarantee you you won't be fucking. Sorry. What I'm asking you for a measly 300 You miserable embarrass myself embarrass myself. I don't know if we get one night Because uh the first season I did he fired me because I was just doing blow Yeah, everybody did I was just making so much bacon egg and cheese sandwiches blow and be I was just making so much Three hours a night. We were I was half my check was going on the attorney I know the divorce and the other half I had the pork in on the arm So he came to me. He was listening to his courage going to do Stu's going to do the show Friday nights

Come in I want my guys to come in I want you to come in You can make a couple hundred just coming on Friday nights from six to 12 Yeah, and I would go in the guy would stop by 11 drop the package or what's great So he let me go in january. He goes joey I can't You're at the desk with a paper and you know now you I I I wasn't doing I was there I did a few bumps here and there because there were guys you were saying I did really well And I quit because of football season ending, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah football was the big one and then I moved to seattle

And I bought a sports magazine. They go. He did it on this fucking. No, listen. Hey You did it alone. I did it too. I did it to one of their friends But the phone bill gets hard no at that time it was 1 800 was for free Oh, I kind of deal with 1 800 coming in was for free And I would call you back and let me tell you a really funny story fucking I did it and I called one of Kurt's friends and as I was talking to him I knew Kurt telling me a story about this Greek guy And he goes, what do you want to do? I'm looking to buy leads

I want to cold call people out of here. He goes. Who did you work for before? I told him and that night. I'm sitting there watching tv. I'm like, I hear the club going off Yeah, it's too fine to threaten me your mother fucking next time I see him It was the best it was the best So listen this fucking guy I'm done with stew and a big guy named Andy Carp. He weighed 550 fucking pounds He used to forget about it. So we're making calls and I was good at it One day I hooked into a guy named Paul Hicks He was a fucking

Stockbroker in Colorado, but Lovelin, Colorado But he wasn't all sorts of shit. He was fucking betting a lot of money and out of nowhere Stu says to me Tell me you're going. I'm 21. Tell me 22. Tell me you're going to Vegas and you're taking your five best customers Everybody's giving you 60,000 dollars. You're gonna turn it into 250,000 I'm not I'm like, is this gonna fucking work. He says do it I get Paul this and I'm going to Vegas. Bye. Bye. Bye. Tell him the whole scan. I says you can meet me out there

I'll turn the money around. I'll give you four or five times when you're invested just Okay, my name is Johnny rock. I use Johnny rock. I use Frankie Nolan Eddie Grant. He's okay, Johnny I'll be out there side. I'll make her so we go we fly into Vegas. I'm with my buddy Mitch. He was a big cold kid Clear limousine I'm waiting at the airport. Here comes he looked like Richard Dreyfus He's coming in his pants were too long his heels was hitting the fucking back of his suit And he has a briefcase in his hand. He gets in the limousine and we're going to Caesar's Palace and

We're talking we get in the room. I open the briefcase and I'm counting the money I'm looking for 60 grand and he's talking to Mitch and I go. I said, you know, Mitch is a black belt in kung fu and taekwondo all that shit And I just made it up and Paul goes on the black belt as well. What form do you use? Mitch wasn't a black belt He was a Mitch goes. I don't want to talk about it. I killed a man five years ago. It's very uh, I can't talk about I said, Paul I'm counting the money. You're short 3800. Oh, I'm sorry, Johnny He's pulling money out of his fucking top shirt pocket his fucking pants his underwear. Okay. Good. I said go home relax I got it from here

Naturally All we did is get coke get girls fucking gamble We lost 60 grand in two days gone So I got it. I call still I says, uh, you know He's just calling back get another 20. I says, all right So I called Paul. He says, hey, Johnny. How'd it go? I says, no, not good Oh, really? I said, I need 20 000 more. Well, Johnny. I said, Paul I I got the game Yankees, Toronto, blue jays. I know exactly what's going on. We got an umpire on our side

Do me a fucking favor. He's calling balls and strikes. Don't be a fucking asshole. This isn't a gold mine. This is the game Get the 20 000 was okay, Johnny. He sends it all over But at that point I just took the 20 and left. I wasn't gonna fuck around So I told stew we lost it blah blah blah I left but the point is I had money in my pocket And we did so well that we had a tv show that was that was actually on on on espn for a while It was called football forecast and it was for, you know, four of us from different sports agencies Were the host and we'd give out fucking art picks. We couldn't mention the spread

But we say I think the giant should win by at least six tomorrow blah blah blah And people would see the show and call in and the phones were fucking light up The money was I got a guy named car mosaic who was an owner of a half owner of the charlotte bobcats back then He had irrigation systems in the carolinas. The guy was filthy fucking rich. We called him the elephant the guy would bet 50 60 80 thousand dollars a night And I hooked him up with john goddy's operation

That's how the whole me and goddy thing happened because he his bookie died And I couldn't afford to hit to have him with no bookie. So I said I can find a guy for you So I called my cousin albert who was hooked up with working for john I said, I need a guy got a guy here. He's he's betting fucking bigos. Do you vouch for him? Now I didn't understand that term vouch for him back to us. Yeah, the guy's fucking loaded. I vouch for him He says a g you vouch for him. It's important. This is albert. I vouch for him So We're gambling the guy's winning and he's losing his pain. He's getting paid

And suddenly after the third week This is the kind of guy who had like a half a million dollars rolling on a fucking night in college basketball He'd bet kraton verse drake like the worst teams he'd bet And long story short. He fell out. He was down like 48 thousand dollars And he had to pay I says I says listen carl You can't fuck around. This is not your bookie in nebraska. This is a big fucking guy I know I know johnny. I'll pay He sends 500 dollars

Which is an insult to anybody that's running a house let alone goddy Thanksgiving time john goddy calls my house Thanksgiving during dinner And says hey listen to me. He goes listen to me Your friend No good He says this is 1985 now. He says

He's in colorado I'm gonna send you and albert to colorado not to learn how to ski to get my fucking money. Do you understand me? I says okay, okay, and he said the best line. He goes In a business with no ethics. We got to have ethics That's what he said to me. I said, okay, okay. He hangs up. I said albert the fuck's wrong. He said a j get that fucking money The guy I could never find a guy again. Now. This is Thanksgiving If you remember december 14th, whatever it was 85 Goddy and company wax castellano in front of spark state cows. He becomes godfather

And apparently everything changed in his life. He didn't care about the debt He didn't care about that money that my guy owed him And it went away It went away So I ended up knowing john because of that. He broke my balls because of that John was a big gamp. John was a big bad gambler. Goddy was the worst He would give you he said I'd bet against two cockroaches running across the street. I don't give a fuck. I'm not you know Uh, but those so I had money. So when I went to that party, I mean mickey was there

I was running around throwing dollars around and long story short, uh Mickey we went to the party at recs. The chick showed up. I told that gossip columnist. So I started going out and seeing shit and in time The woman who hired me Got hired by the new york daily news and she took me with her And she goes how much money do you want to make mortz stuck him in board the news and he's bringing me over He wants me. I said I want you. What do you want to make? I said, I don't know. I had no clue

I don't know. I said 60 70 000 she was done. No problem I should ask for 100 so I came in at 60 or whatever the fuck 65 and then back in the 90s It was so different I would get raises like every eight months. I would walk in our page was so good We were breaking such big stories that I would walk in

And she'd tell me go ask for more money get more money I'd say really just go in there and get more money And I'm walking and say I broke this story that story this story Okay, I said I think I should make 90 now And I I'd make 90 It this went on for two years to the point where I was making I was making a you know 200 and change as a gossip comes with all my meals paid for all my drinks paid for All my flights paid for I was

flying high and I don't mean a regular kid In the city I'm working in Manhattan in 84 in 85 And that would go out four nights a week And I can't sit here because I was coked up and fucking coiled it up. I was pilled up. I didn't do coke back then but I remember certain situations that

If you if you would and I know you you're a slick dude, you also had five dudes helping you uh You had a guy at aria. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You had a guy at the garden You have to you had a guy at the black club Of course, and you had a guy at the shrimp club so kids you had a guy and you had a guy in jersey jade club Whatever always always Just to see who would show up of course and the guy would call you know You're not gonna believe we just walked in of course bread pit with a blonde with a wig on and then and there you go That's how you work it scores was the big the big mecca back then I remember one thing

I still remember one of the craziest things like I remember going out one night and seeing Richard gear no big fucking deal But the craziest not everyone out was an 84 And I saw your boy Mickey no, oh boy I know you miss me. I know you miss me. Yeah, I know you come to church. I saw I know I was very enjoying heroine out Dancing with a wall

And those days there was no fucking cell phones late Yeah, it was the best memory. There was no cell phone nothing and you could walk into a club and see three people on a table Drinking drinks forget about a mirror with cocaine. Yeah, right there right there. I mean you can forget it That would not have like your cat. No guys who walked in the club with guns. They put the gun Crazy get it. I used to see oh my god. I would go to regular. I was never a city night life I was a northern new jersey guy Listen, if I could save a hundred bucks of snow an extra gram That's what I did. I'm gonna go to the city. It's not the same fucking gram. Yeah to pay

Yeah, I know and the toll that some nights I go over to The rooftop some nights I go to the area You know, and then I got a job at the sheriff in the 52nd and 7th And you get out at one. So you're already out at one. You stole a yardstick. Yeah, of course You made two yardsticks. You're in the middle of the city at 1 a.m in 1985 that money's gone That money is gone You catch a fucking you get a cab downtown. You're already got a package on you You would just walk into a barn. There's a fucking things going on

But how great was how great was that the fact that you I to this day when I go to new york and I land that I'm in Manhattan and especially downtown I remember today. I had a Mercedes 500 SL. I fucking I was the okay I was the man because of my job And I had a I had a fucking super. Well, you're a gossip cause everybody's gotta be nice to you All the restaurants boy picked up your dad. I didn't pay a fucking don't nothing. You were the Lawrence Taylor without even knowing Listen, I took Lawrence's girl I I remember taking

Randall Cunningham's wife to china club and fucking Lawrence Taylor going you the fucking man nigger Because this is like, you know when Randall Cunningham was the man and Lawrence Taylor was I was Dating downtown Julie Brown when Lawrence Taylor was Kind of dating or wanting to get in there Oh, it was that the scene back then was the palladium. It was the palladium limelight Uh There were so many places to go and be seen so I was plugged into all of it all of it and everybody would call me and when you're a gossip columnist There are publicists and they're all fucking cute. They're all hot

They all wore black clothes and they all they all want their clients in the paper and they all want their They represent a shoe store on west broadway And I would just sit there. I would I would go to spy bar, which was on green street Which was the hardest fucking spot in the 90s And I had a boy. I had a buddy named Johnny boy Calvanny who is 67 maybe Big pothead and we wrote he had an old Mercedes I had a new one we drive around and they would move the fucking cones we'd park in front of the club, which is

That those little things like that mean so much when you can just roll up to the club And they just let you park in front of the club and you toss the keys to the guy And he would say I don't care what you do the rest of your life when you get older You get remember they fucking move the cones for us on west broadway And you said earlier you he was he was doing a bomb here You said this is the shit that killed Castro Johnny would say this is the shit that killed bruce lee That was his line And johnny would say we'd sit at the piano at spy bar, which is like about five feet above the crowd

And johnny would say to me, you know what he goes If you were up in space And you looked down On earth and you looked down on America And in america you look down in new york city and in new york city you look down in Greenwich village and in Greenwich village you went spring street in spring street You found spy bar and in spy bar you found the fucking piano

You'd find us buddy He'd say we're the fucking kings of the world And back then as stupid as it sounds that was true to be at the piano at spy bar in the 90s With everybody running around Fucking insane. We were kings kings of the city Well after that talk we just had what are the people around you think when you said you were gonna be a gossip columnist It's a very powerful position and you have people around town And the reason why my podcast kind of took off the last few the last seven eight weeks is because

I was a really good friend and I still am of harvey winestines and I am I love the guy. I love the guy and I talked to him all the time I talked to him all the time And he was mad at me that I was in the new york times article and there's a picture of me and But the point is It was all Free harvey, right?

No, well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no free harvey I'm just saying I love harvey. He did some bad shit And we'll see what he's guilty of However, that motherfucker Put out the best fucking movies You could think of and I know that things sound awful and I don't want to disagree with the girls who said What happened happened? I don't think I don't think a lot of girls lie, but I will say this For every girl who got molested or raped

I think there are five others Who went up to that fucking hotel room and let him wear the robe and let him jerk off That's hollywood But i'm not taking away from the girls who got no, no, no, no, no, because I believe them I just loved that. I wasn't gonna bring harvey up. Oh, I got a friend. Listen. I got a friend harvey I'm gonna listen. Oh, I talked to him. I got a friend fucking. He got so mad. He got so mad at me Go ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, remember that episode put it on Lee What just put on youtube, okay?

The honeymoon is harvey. Oh the harvey honeymoon is episode I got a harvey said harvey. Listen, I got a friend. Go ahead. My friend harvey's even bigger than me Remember that guy? I got a friend. Surely it was bigger than you. That is the line of the fucking year That was great. I before I came here. I left to see what episode was on tonight Oh, tonight's a classic tonight at 11 o'clock on channel 20 channel 20, right? I know tonight's the one when he throws his wife out He makes a record All emotional, but he has to make the third record finally is when he does a sweet one But norton sends the wrong record the one that he's really angry

And he calls his wife a big mouth and all It's a classic episode, but I got it on tape. So I don't give a frenchman's fuck Ha ha ha it's it's That's the one right there. Jesus. Yeah, they got it the bomb Ralph beats harvey. Harvey was a great actor. This motherfucker was big this uh, fuck. Here we go. Right there's what you're telling Here we go my heart and harvey said I'm going in and tell my friend harvey harvey

Oh harvey You're going to tell your friend harvey Or be he's gonna tell harvey. That's a nice name. I like what a nice name harvey. I don't care if you tell harvey Go ahead and tell him He's got me mighty scared. I'm shaking the duck You better be careful and my friend is even bigger than me Your friend harvey is bigger than you I have a friend charlie this bigger than you Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Thank you much Very luck those that you do Watch this boy. Watch how harvey talks. Watch how he talks. I told you you're not gonna get the table now go away Come on. Will you and you beat it too harvey? Hey, you know ralph he's even bigger than your friend charlie I've had an idea those bookends are gonna be a little lopsided What are you talking about bookends? He said he was gonna twist me and you into bookends Oh, he did uh, so you're gonna twist me and him into bookends

That's right. That's right. He's gonna push you and him in a bookend. You got nothing to worry about ralph. You're in the right Nobody can push you around. Why don't you? That's not all he said he made fun of your name. He said harvey was a funny name Oh, he did huh harvey's lovely name. So harvey's a funny name You're a real wise guy, huh? I think it's cool. I had to be so straight. You know what I might do to you I might punch you right in the mouth. I know way way way way You can't talk to us that way. You keep out of this Yeah, I wasn't gonna push you into a pretzel heated

Shut up You're gonna twist me into a pretzel. I don't even like pretzels He's gonna twist me into a pretzel All right wise guy, I'll give you a chance. Come on step outside. Well ralph, I'll hold your coat Come on wise guy step outside and twist me into a pretzel Fucking it. That is one of the passengers boss. My I've got it on the class. That's my hometown And then at the end they set him up Yeah, he comes in and they make a guy bigger than him show up

And he knocks him out. Oh my god. And the guy says even my friend didn't show up Gleason make it tonight Gleason is and that was all one takely That was live that shot live. Oh, sure. That's right. That's a live shot live Fuck's on that live that shot fucking live dog right there live. I went throw up last time It's funny because we know we were both with the same age for a while when I took your meetings We were gonna do a show for a minute and then we both disappeared. We both fired them And then I didn't see you around and Out of this town there's people going home and stuff like that. Whatever. Yeah

And I was really really happy to see you in rocky six Balboa, yeah, beautiful. Thank you. You do a great job and then Like, you know when you don't see somebody and then you see him fucking 10 times in two weeks, right, right, right Then a few weeks later It was some Maybe an episode they do something on Tuesday nights On one of those channels and it was you walking Six eight feet from John Gotti about the interview. Oh, yeah. Yeah tape old tapes. Yeah old tapes. Yeah

And it was you Interviewing him at one point and then the other interview was an Irish guy John Miller was there. Miller. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I got to be real close with him I got to be close with him because uh when I worked at news day I got close with john and you know, he knew me from the whole fucking Gambly thing And I remember I went to see him downtown when he was on trial. I went to the trial Uh

And uh, that was a trip Anthony Quinn went to the trial. Mickey rock went to the trial a lot of a lot of a lot of actors go to the trials and I remember uh, there was one moment where uh His life hung in the balance. It was gonna be you're gonna go to jail forever or whatever And across from the court downtown of Manhattan, there's a restaurant on march street called, uh, jim bones I think it's still there. It's great fucking joint real fucking old school phone booth in a restaurant. Like forget it like and uh

I followed him to the restaurant And I sat down with them Jerry shagel bruce cutler. Sammy the bull But at one point Sammy the bull He was looking me up and down and he said to john Like what the fuck is this guy doing? Where was this kid and john said, uh, he's all right And sam he said, yeah, but he's with the press. He said, yeah, but he's more he's more right than them I love that saying so let me sit down

and uh He was good to me. He was good to me and I believe his daughter's been good to me. She came to my book party I don't know. It's one of you know, there are things in life that happen That you kind of get kissed by an angel like why? through through stu finder and the gambling thing I would meet john goddy And he would end up liking me and that would end up honestly making people think

Something about me like aj's, you know aj's around the mob that kind and it worked and then when I got into the night mid 90s and I started running around Uh, I was a nightclub called rouge and the upper east side, which was all genovese And scores the strip club was genovese and gambino And but yet my name even though it was a gossip columnist my name They under they knew it. They accepted it and they didn't fuck around with me They're not at goomba johnny getting trouble Ah, you know goomba johnny. He was around either a doorman. Yeah, he was in the scores crew

They were shaking down the girls. Yeah. Yeah, my my roommate chico was uh was involved in all that and Between me and you goomba johnny He he was working on fucking borrowed time. There's nothing he did that made him fucking strong or tough or important Kind of a lazy name too It's a it's a it's a it's an expression of respect goomba john You were going to the strip club shaking down the girls. They all did the strip is the strip is They fucking paid out up front. They used to pay out to everybody. They got shook down everybody shook people down

Uh, it was it was it was like a pyramid. Everybody got shook down money Down to the security guards to the fucking valet guy. Everybody got shook down everybody And when the mobsters walked in Joe Watts, Joe the german All these mobster angelo bruno all these mobsters would walk in and they'd say and you you mentioned this early about People paying people's rent Like, you know eddie murphy when when when when mafioso come to new york city clubs They'd approach the head of security who was my roommate chico who was no longer. Well, he's he died

But they'd say cheek how many guys are working tonight in security and chico would say ah, you know six Our hair and they fucking and they fucking just peel off fucking hundreds They say yeah, take care of the guy. Here's fucking face twenty eight hundred dollars. Take care everybody And chico would do if you get three you get four you get two you get five And every and my ex-girlfriend was a bartender And i'd see the bartender's all the girls were hot bartender I'd see their faces when the mafios would walk in they knew Rent is covered this month if joe watts and and and and viny gorgeous walked in angelo bruno. You name it

They knew okay. We're cool if a if a bartender walked the scotch and soda to joe watts. She got 250 You know if he came in twice that week. She got a 500 that week Those guys they kept the city running they kept it oiled You know more than celebrities. They were just They fucking took care of everybody. They were great. They were great and and Because I vouched for chico I ended up being on the bad side of them because chico at one point started collecting money for my buddy

He was a pot dealer who he had outstanding debts and chico said i'll get i'll get your money Because one of the big genivisi guys rafi capola who's now dead He liked us and he said listen. You're around me now. It was like donny brasko. You're around me Don't worry, but no one can touch you anybody bothers you say i'm with rafi. Okay when you hear that you think you want You did in essence. You won the fucking lot of you could do whatever the fuck you want Someone bothers you. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, you gotta talk to rafi and it works So chico was asking for money from an old guy who's had a fucking pot debt He didn't want to pay he goes listen. I'm with rafi

Unfortunately that guy's father grew up with rafi and he told his father and the father called rafi and said Why is this kid using your name for a fucking marijuana debt? So one night rafi calls and says why don't you and chico come up to geno's on third avenue We'll have a fucking great meal when we out all night. We'll get to drink some fucking grap But it's gonna be great. All right. We all go to geno's It's fucking fat snowing in Manhattan fucking great Best meal he says a g why don't you go do your thing me and chico gonna hang up? Okay

So about an hour late. I got a phone call And chico was just destroyed in the street. They beat the fuck out of him when when I left They walked him out. They had a nice meal cigars grappa And they just punched the fuck out of him. They had they I mean he had to have a screen put in his stomach because his intestines were coming out So they beat the shit out of him and I vouched for chico There's that word again vouched So I call one of my guys who's an old-time mobster and I said, what do I do now? I vouch for chico

I got to go back to the club He said don't change anything you do go to the club Go to the bar order your espresso with sambuca and I did And when I went there the same guys who would see me and hug me and go crazy. Hey, joey. What's going on? I walked in the fucking stairs. They gave me they didn't say nothing. They looked at me With fucking eyes like daggers and I sat there at the bar and I drank my espresso And I left and I was ready to get jumped on park avenue I knew I was going to get jumped killed knife whatever nothing happened

Those days are awful as much fun as you have with the guys You know wiping out a bar In westchester county taking cleaning out their liquor whatever the fuck grabbing girls When you're on that bad side. Oh my god. Is that the fucking scariest thing in the world? horrifying Anyhow the guys who were after were all dead They're all dead. I mean this is 20 years later. They it's a it's a horrible lifestyle, but they're all done When I lived in boss and I lived in

In the north end for a couple years north end is tough and yeah And the rumor was that there were a couple people on my street That were actually connected and I didn't know if how much of it was true. Is there actually people there north? Sure north end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah post them. Oh, how about whitey bulger for one? Oh, yeah, well he was here. Yeah, I know Are you gonna try to get grubano on your podcast? I I you know that'd be great. I don't know how much he's talking

Yeah, I'd love to I try sure I don't know how much he wants to how much he wants to talk about it, but uh You know, sammy ratted. I don't you know people rat. I I can't even It ain't the old days and this is we're going back 20 years when he ratted. It was really Not what people did not what tough guys did But who's the joke on everybody's dead Sammy went to arizona. He did his time. By the way He had an ecstasy ring that was bringing in 750,000 fucking dollars a month

When he was in arizona, that's how he got pinched He did his time. He's out now He'll probably get a foot not probably I know he's going to get a reality show I know for a fact who's going to fucking be the show runner I made a joke on it on my podcast. It's going to run in a couple in about six seven days that you know Suddenly this guy's going to get more work than me. So many people They're going to hire him for more shows than me. He'll probably be hosting a show that I would have hosted But now sammy the bull is going to get it. That's the way hollywood is

What am I going to do? You know, everybody rats. I didn't the old days The new the new guys the new guys rat the new guys want their screenplays to be made into movies It's a very different mafia. It's very different Don't you think you had a very interesting life, man? I'm a journalist covering all type of shit Like I said one time I watched one of your shows when you were at the magician's house Oh, yeah, not Houdini somebody That was fucking crazy on laurel canyon

Well, david blames the buddy, but it was in his house. No, somebody was dead No, we had a Yeah, that's when a and e was kicking I liked any a lot that No, I was on e you Are you on e? He was he was hot though, but he was hot. He was True Hollywood stories, mysteries and scandals, Howard Stern, he was, he was, he was hot. That's right. Howard Stern was on me, that's right.

Holy shit. Yeah, I used to follow, I was on after Howard, I was on before Howard and then I had a talk show after Howard. Was only out for four weeks, was a fucking, it would have been good but they pulled the plug because they were fucking nervous but those, he was great. He was, he was great back then, they let me do what I wanted to do, they said what else do you want to do? I said I want a talk show.

Okay, I grabbed a fucking loft in Manhattan, I found a place downtown with a Chinese doorman with an elevator that went upstairs, I booked the guests, I booked Dan Rather, Al Sharpton, fucking supermodels, it was great but it lasted only four weeks and the last week, check this out, this is Hollywood. George Hamilton came on, I said if you let me have this show, trust me, people are going to show up because it's going to be a spot to go before you go out. My barmaids were hot Brazilians, I had alcohol in the audience, no one had alcohol yet, this is before Jimmy Kimmel, no one had alcohol.

It was, the fucking crowd was great, I had music acts, everybody smoked weed, like it was a loft, so people smoked weed before they came on, very loosey-goosey and for the fifth show, I'm ready, I'm at the, I'm staying in the hotel on the other side, I'm about to go downtown to shoot and the girl I was dating was my little assistant and she gets a phone call, oh okay really, I'll put them on, oh what's up? I had a book, my book came out, it was in the window of bookstores, I had a fucking TV show, I had a talk show and I hear, listen the show is not going to go tonight, so what do you mean?

I had Chris Rock was a guest, I had like five great guests, they pulled the plug as I'm going down to do the show, not live, but tape, but I was going down, so they let the stars fly in, they pulled the plug and I was out of my fucking mind, that's the kind of shit that happens in Hollywood. I was literally dressed and ready to go on and they pulled the fucking plug, it's the worst and Joey, it took me eight fucking years, there was a lesbian boss at E named Mindy Herman who fucking loved me and every article and the reporter and Variety was AJ's the best and she pulled the plug and it killed me for eight years and one night I got a fucking

Facebook message from Mindy Herman, I go, what the fuck is this, I accept, she says I want to apologize, it's not you, it was me, I'm nervous about talk shows, you were great, I'm so sorry, I said do you know what my life has been like for the last eight years, how fucking miserable I've been, how, you know like that would have been my ticket, I was going back to New York to host a talk show, which is something I always wanted to do and this cunt just decided nah, I don't want to do it, killed me, it destroyed me, but eight years, I was miserable for eight fucking years, that's the business bro, I'm happy you got over it AJ, yeah I'm over it now and now you're doing movies, I'm here with Joey Coco, you're fucking close

by, you have your children, yeah, you look good, well that's the most important thing, let me listen, it's like fucking Mick Jagger said you can't get what you want, you can't always get what you want, but you get what you need, we put a lot of the, I think you're right, fame is a bitch, and when does it come down, every Wednesday and Friday are new episodes and you'll like it because lately I've been, the last six, seven weeks I've been outing every pervert, every fucking pedophile in Hollywood, I'm very close to the Harvey Weinstein situation, so I got the goods on everybody, so you're not in trouble for what for Harvey Weinstein, I think I'm in trouble, Harvey gave me a book deal 20 years ago, Harvey's been my man, and Harvey asked me

for help a year ago in December, he texted, he called me and said come to the peninsula, I need your help, this is way before anything came out, I went to the peninsula, I said what's up, he said look they're doing a bad article on me, New York magazine is gonna kill me, I said okay what do you want to do, he says why don't you write, let's make believe, let's, why don't you be an author and you're gonna write a bad book about me, I'll give you people to call, and if you call them and they tell you bad shit about me, I'll know where the bad stories are coming from, I said okay, he said I'll give you 20,000 a month, this is gonna be fine, that's all right, so a week goes by, he didn't call, two weeks no call, I said boss what's up, he said hang tight, and I never heard back,

but between me and you, I said I can't write a bad book about Harvey, people know I'm his friend, they know he doesn't work, but thank God because he didn't say the stories surrounding him were about rape and chicks getting molested, he just said there's a bad article coming out, and I'm the guy 13 years ago who protected him when he was cheating on his wife and having an affair, and I buried that story for months and months and months, because he needed the help, because Disney and Miramax were doing a big business endeavor, so I'm close to him, but I never knew, I never knew the side of him, never, I figure the guy that came, he's a movie mogul, they get laid, stallards come to them, they fuck him, I understand,

Howard Hughes, Daryl Zanuck, you named the mogul, you know come on, it's Hollywood, but I never in a million years ever thought fucking pushing indoors, raping chicks, no, never, so him and I talked a couple of weeks ago, and he said you talked to the New York Times, I said yeah, he said why would you do that, I said because the story they came to me at was wrong, they had it wrong, they had it that I suggest that I write a book about you, I said that's not true, he says both shit, I said no Harvey, I said I got a wife and family, I got a fucking career, I'm not gonna, I can't go down like that, it was wrong, so I cooperated and I told the kid what was right, he says AJ you and I, we're guys that don't talk, I said I understand, but it was full

of errors and I had to correct that, he said okay what else did you say, so I told him what I said and I said nothing for nothing Harvey, he said why are you worried about me, do you know what people are saying about you, he says no I don't, tell me, I said you don't know what they're saying, I said you're the biggest fucking monster in the last hundred years, he said AJ everything you hear was consensual, and we went down girl by girl, I'm not gonna bore you with the details, but at the end of the phone call he said listen, you heard Clooney, you heard Damon, you heard these guys talk about me, Affleck, he said if I told everybody what I know about this town, it would fall to its fucking knees and stop, I said I'm sure you're right bro, he said okay

amigo, I'll see you, I'll see you down the road, I said Harvey I got two pictures on my wall in my office, you and John Gotti, he said that's some fucking company you keep, I said yeah, so I'm not betting against him, I'm sure he's guilty, but I'm not betting against him coming back, I won't, I just think that a guy like him, if he had this script of pulp fiction, if he had the script of the next pulp fiction now, I'm telling you right now, there'd be a line up and down the 405 with people who want the accolades, the money, and the fame to work with him, even with the fucking fires raging on each side of the highway, this fucking town, satan lives here brother, what's that, satan lives here part time, no kidding, no kidding, in the beginning of the

exes, the archeologists, they see him, he finds a little devil, he lives in satan, he lives here in hollywood, and the other part, he's like a snowbird, great to have you, I'm my brother, I'm happy you, I love you buddy, you too, those are some great fucking stories, thank you pal, God bless you man, Lee how you doing brother, I'm doing great, I didn't hear Lee tonight, no he doesn't even need to say it's Hanukkah, maybe it's a double bond here, I don't know, he's trying to rest, he's resting, no no, it was great stories, double bond here, I could tell by your eyes your shot, oh no, what about the thousand milligrams of TAC we eat, I didn't know about that, what about that enema you gave him earlier, I didn't know about that, that was tremendous,

so Lee you downloaded the Hanukkah app, I did, that was a great, okay, it's a very cool app, it's you put in what you're interested in, and what you want to hear like the latest news stories, sports, I'm sure they have stuff about gossip, let me just take a drink of water, so what you got to do Lee, but the evening is amazing, people who are doing like short five minute long podcasts that they upload straight from their phone, and it's great you can call in to these separate different channels and talk directly to the people who are doing the shows, it's really interesting, and there's so much content, I had a really good time looking at it this afternoon, well this episode of the church is brought to you by Anker, if you ever wanted to make a podcast

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in beautiful different colors, and I'm sure Santa can afford one of those, so stop wiping that fucking nasty fucking muffler, and start living like a doctor with tushy, and they come in different colors, that's hellotushy.com, use code church, c-h-u-r-c-h, for 10% off your order, listen to me, why give that uncle the same fucking boring gift, when you can give that motherfucker bidet, and no, he's gonna pre-listen, you give a 64-year-old uncle a bidet, whose wife died, who's better than you, he's gonna sit there all day wacking that fucking dick like Harvey, with hot water hitting his asshole, you know what I'm saying, oh shit, hellotushy.com, use code church, for 10% off your order, again, I want you to go with anchor.fm-slash-church, that's anchor.fm-slash-church, and tushy,

also a shout out to fujiysports.com, you're gonna make a commitment, you're gonna join jiu-jitsu, you want a bigger fucking G, A5, A6, go to fuji and get the separato, you're not gonna fucking deny, you're not gonna fucking be sorry, press fucking church, and get 15% off, you know how we do it today, thank you AJ Benzey, thank you brother, I love you man, my fucking number one Christ killer, Lisa Yat, let's kill him with some fucking musically killer, come on take me out motherfucker, come on, take a mouth Lee, what the fuck are you doing Lee, come on motherfucker, yeah you go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Get down, get down, get down, get down, get down, get down, get down

outta the way Jungle bouquet, we're jungle bouquet Get it up Jungle bouquet Jungle bouquet I'll get it up Jungle bouquet Bit yup

Boooh Boooh get up and we'll get down , get up and we'll get down shake it man get up and we'll get down we'll get down Get the boogie

Jungle boogie Jungle boogie Jungle boogie Jungle boogie Jungle boogie Get down get down Get down get down Get down get down

Get down get down Get down get down Get down get down Get down get down Get down get down Get down get down Get down get down Jungle boogie

Get down get down Get down get down Get down get down Feel the funk y'all Let it flow Shake the junk Shake the junk Shake the junk

Up get down Get the funk Come on get down Shake the junk When we go down Get the down Get down Get down

ivable Get down Down yo boop Whoah! Or get down Whoah! Or get down Whoah!