Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #545 - Rudy Sarzo

Episode Date: December 28, 2017

Rudy Sarzo, Legendary Bass player who has played with, among others, The Guess Who, Ozzy Osbourne, and White Snake, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: MyBookie.ag - Join now and MYBookie.ag will match your deposit with up to a 50% bonus of your first deposit. www.mybookie.ag. Use Promo code CHURCH to activate the offer.   Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order and stop using nasty toilet paper forever!   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Recorded live on 12/27/17

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That's the most important thing. Let me let you let me let you know a little fucking secret All right, you don't have to be a broke dick for new years new years is Sunday. You still got time You know many times I bumped into a fucking purse two days before new years. So could you there's both games tonight? There's both games Thursdays and there's both game Friday one pick Bet it till his fucking wig falls off and collect on fucking Monday and Sunday You get that little eight ball and hang out with you that little girl You've been looking at you know I'm saying freak out with a play some Cosby anyway number two. Let me tell you something The year went and went and whatever the fuck happened happened

But two 18s coming in with a fucking storm and you want to be ready, right? You want your shoes shined you want your fucking suit dry cleaned You want your eyebrows trimmed your head done, but most importantly your asshole has to fucking clean You want it to be at midnight? You want that fucking muffler to be shiny dip top magoo There's paper. I know you wipe your ass with that fucking petrified tree, but that don't work You know why because bidet's a back bitches No to sheet bidet is a motherfuckers motherfuckers It'll clean your ass better than any toilet paper on the market

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Oh Wednesday the 27th December 2017 and for more Way This fucking price Oh Rudy saws on the house the Christ killer in the house. What were you telling me now you used to play this song? Yeah, that was like the opening song of set number one ladies night, which was usually Tuesday in Miami Free drinks for all the ladies. So, you know the ones with the drinking problem will show up like a

First set, you know and what happens is just bunch of chicks and they'll start dancing together, you know Couple drinks later got interesting, you know what year was this about it's about 70. That's when disco 771 this goes kind of like it happened almost overnight, you know What happened was that all the big dance clubs in New York and anything that happened in New York in the summertime? By the time the winter time came a lot of people, you know snowbirds They would migrate to to Florida Miami So anything that was happening in New York in the summer it would reinvent itself in South Florida in the winter time So all of a sudden all you know, it wasn't about bands anymore

And if you were a live band you had to play what was being played at discos and disco, you know Disco means record be cool, you know Places that just play records, you know, like DJs do now that was you know, this is like the beginning of the DJ basically and Chicks dug that because all they wanted to do was just drink and dance and not have to deal with the with the guys like myself We wanted to pick them up, you know, we were just a nuisance to them You know, it's crazy how I saw that the economy did great over the holidays retail picked up four percent Fucking, you know Fucking online picked up eighteen percent. Oh, what happened to the bar business in this country?

The bar I I've been married for so long From 70 to mid 85 1990 You you went out seven nights a week. Oh, yeah, like if you were anything from 18 to fucking 30 Yeah, you were out seven nights a week Yeah, and then when you got that girlfriend, then you went out four nights Yeah, but you went out Monday night for sure you cuz it was Monday night football if you were single you went to lay these night and

Then Friday and Saturday. Absolutely, you know, I I stay at once in a while stay at a holiday in and Holiday ends back in the day were notorious for happy hour You know where you actually, you know, you went in and you got some food for free happy hour You know, they fed you during happy hour, which is I think it was invented so people wouldn't drink and you know, like get off work and Kind of like not go on the freeway, but get a couple drinks before you drive Just to calm yourself down after a hard day of work and and they will give you like these little sausages and You know, just like finger food But when I was a starving musician shit, I used to live off that shit

Oh my god pieces of cheese with What's that? What's the spicy cheese that's got the jalapeno pepper Jack pepper Jack pepper Jack That pepper Jack gets old and shit hard and you'll still eat ten pieces like you're fucking on a ship You know Vita Vita. No, I would never eat fucking Vita With that with chips on top. Oh My god days the you know had a happy hour, believe it or not You know what one of the best happy hours my mother. Oh, yeah, that's how she transitioned The Irish to accept her

My mother put that bar there in 1958 57 Wow, she had the other Spanish place down the block from a grammar school So when she opened up the bar, there was a kitchen in the back and that you know My mother I take a lot of equalities. I like my food fresh, bro I don't like old food. I could taste old food because I don't have it around me growing up So whenever my mom would make for lunch she put on the line on a table at five o'clock. It was already cooked Is that in West New York? This was in Union City Union City, okay? So all those bus drivers will come in eat lunch because it was across the street from the bus station

I know. Yeah, and then That five five o'clock. They come in. I got my seat that way cool Black beans and rice, bro When you're white and you eat those black beans and rice you lose your fucking mind And I remember the projects were right across from the up from the bus station by the Union City Yeah, you know this is Bergen line Avenue. Yeah, this is Bergen line. Okay. Okay. I got you talking about the back and yeah Yeah, that's New York Avenue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's New York Avenue where you go around and on the corner there See right there my mom had that bar right down the corner two doors down with speakerman's bakery I

could I don't eat a sweet food because of that bakery because I Used to go home and go to speakerman's on top of a hash away chans They had those cookies and the strawberry shortcake like nobody made people would you go in and take number 99 And they were up to number two and everybody was getting a strawberry shortcake You can't you went to church in the East Coast in those days and stopped at the bakery That's how I was raised Right in church. You went to the bakery. You came home about fucking 10 30 11 and then you ate Whatever the fuck strawberry should not the Cuban side my white side after my mother died

That's how every fucking body I grew up with was raised how expensive were drinks back then because that like on a dollar So what would that be like a five dollar drink today? It's like an eight dollar drink today Fuck an eight dollar cocktail. It's still cheap You gotta remember when I was in high school there was a place in New York that on Monday night football Did give you six bottles of blood for a dollar? and The place should be fucking mobbed think about that six bottles and a bucket for a dollar

We'd sit there with six people dollar the debt Dollar that we have buckets everywhere with ice dollar the debt dollar the debt They didn't care Lee they got you out ladies night when he's talking about look what he's talking He's talking about a time when the alcohol was free to women Yeah, no from the band it probably from like a tool that is they didn't give a fuck if you crash in those days Yeah, if you crash and went into a school of bus kids, they didn't give a fuck. They didn't even claimers. He wasn't here He was seen leaving it. We don't give a fuck what you saw everybody was drunk. How did they remember nothing?

Nobody gave a fuck in the 70s about that shit when I went to when I came around in the early 80s It was 50 cents a drink For ladies night, so you just gave a chick. Come here. Here's a dollar. Go knock yourself out get me and you a drink Okay, it's two dollars. What the fuck it was 50 cents a drink They don't have ladies night no more. No, no that doesn't exist no more cuz they don't know how the hour now I mean every time I think the drink I'll just be like why am I I just get a bottle and go home like it to me There's never been like a an incentive to go to a bar now when I was a starving comic in Seattle McCormick and Schmitz

I want to thank you if anybody can knows anybody McCormick and Schmitz headquarters Tell them they kept me in fucking they kept me fucking eating cuz from two to five and from ten to close They had a two dollar menu cheeseburger fishing chips or soda a Coconut bottle those little ones two dollars a piece to an happy hour, but you didn't give a fuck I'd eat one of those with water clams on a half shell That's a happy hour You know if Morton's had a happy hour from ten to twelve I'd be in there four nights a week

And they made like a milkshake like a night night milkshake like a little bit of vodka that a little like a fucking cocoa loco I'd be in there four nights a week four hundred and fifteen pounds. I'd be right now. I wouldn't give a fuck Happy hour and then as I got older, you know kick the happy hour into fucking high gear The Sheridan and Linnhurst, New Jersey By 1985 What they put out Rudy would make you fucking you would kill you Take on a stick Because now the happy hour got popular so to get people there. Well, why would I go to your barley?

I got the same hot dogs here on the bun that you got your shit. Oh Well, fuck it. I gotta lift my game up a little bit So they would start getting like cheese steaks and cutting them into little ones and then somebody fucking just started putting platters on the Mid Linnhurst Sheridan in 1985 bro, the next would be there And it wasn't even basketball so you guys would go to hotels. Yeah, just in cities that you lived in just a drink No, you found out the word got out. Listen Wednesday night There's a happy hour to Linnhurst Sheridan that fucking rocks five o'clock

First time I went there that had steak Chinese steak like a yeah beef on the stick No, not beef on the stick the other one the like steak with broccoli beef and broccoli with white rice They were catered shit every fucking Wednesday from a different restaurant. Shit I would go there and get a soda and eat like 10 plates of food I was starving and shit and how I knew about the place a girl I knew a house burned down and the insurance put her in that hotel and she would call me and go I just saw Lawrence Taylor downstairs Come by you're not gonna believe this place

That was the extension of the happy hour Fucking and then in Boulder that was the best happy hour Wednesday night. They call the professional night And they gave away free shrimp Shrimp that you took it you took a chance eating But that's what they were known for if you ever go to Boulder you go to one of the broker restaurants They don't bring you bread they bring your shrimp boulder color. Yeah, how did they get the shrimp there? I mean, it's like it's like you eat that shrimp. It's like buying a lot every ticket You're taking your life in your own hands. You know saying they got a lot of boulder reservoir those little ones with the shell

So you had to de-shell them. Yeah. Oh my god. So they bring you Lee Lee Fucking my mercy They bring your bowl this big the middle would have red sauce and it would be fucking two inches of those shrimp Peeling each shrimp on a bed of ice They didn't bring you bread. That's what they brought you and you would sit there with your date dip dip dip That reminds me of my father first time he went to Las Vegas The buffet he never been to a buffet before humans imagine a Cuban at a buffet

Although they go crazy and and it's usually like that. You know, you're talking about he'll go to the shrimp the shrimp ball And that's a load up the plate with shrimp and he would sit there and start sweating because he just couldn't eat anymore He was full, but it's you know, it's buffet. So it's all you can you can eat. Yeah It's the principle and we can Cubans get mad at the white people for eating lettuce at a buffet. I mean, it's a blunt Me they come up in guys to come in the one side a lot You're a geek on me in the mic. I'm out on and cram legs from Katrina Shrimp with eyes and missing an eyeball and shit Katrina shrimp, but we're living like doctors. We don't give a fuck Look at that white dude eating fucking salad. Look at that fucking moron. Fuck him. I'm over eating prime rib

That's crazy. That's the truth. Yeah, that's how we think fuck Look at that white dude making toast. We got you rooting said as he came in He's like the media. We were talking about Cuban food He said the media not just saying which was because they your parents thought you would like Not suffocate start to death in the middle of the night. What are you talking about? It's eight hour without food. So, you know, you're gonna starve so it's So you eat a sandwich before so that will take care of the of the next eight hours I think I should I was born to be Cuban

You had a Cuban grandmother She would give again that hat that you're her grandson, but you're her son son. Oh So your mother naturally hates her that bitch's job is just a fat new And she'll tell you mother go fuck herself She's the only one I can tell you mother. Oh, yeah, this is between me and my grandson get the fuck out of the room And your mother's looking at you like don't eat that fucking thing. You're like, I'm a grandma bitch Tally ho right grandma. Oh My god, Cuban grandmothers will kill you dog. Now you're bringing

No, Chewena. Yeah, no Chewena in in Havana growing up in Havana, you know was a little kid and and The first sign that you know, it was gonna be a rocking no Chewena Was the sound of the pig getting slaughtered Right and in the neighborhood, you know, we lived in the middle of Havana and you know you will go down to like a like a lot like an empty lot and Somebody with slaughtered the pig right there. I mean, I'm not proud of that right now. That's what that's what it is That's the way I was raised. That's how and then before you know it at night They bring the whole pig with the with a pineapple or whatever apple in the mouth

And it still has like little hairs on the skin because they were not able to like shave it off completely And you just pick the rind pork rind. I grew up in pork rind You know stuff that just horrifies me today But this is this is how we grew up with the fat attached to it. Oh my god. Yeah, you chew on that and you chew on that It's horrible. Oh my god. Yes. No, no, no, no, I wouldn't even think about it today. Yeah, horrible You know But that's the way that we will grow you know brought up like that, you know It's uh in my house there was a ceremony with the pig

Like it was a ceremony like since I could remember It was an hell no for no chair went as new years or the night before christmas night is the night is it's christmasy Okay, so this is what they did in my house growing up. They went to the bar They went into the afternoon to the store and killed the pig. They went to margolanzanos They got the pig killed and it got delivered to my house already and then at three My mother would come home with her girlfriends And take the guts out the whole thing and then lay it on a metal pan and marinate it. But the marination took 10 hours so

They'd snort coke and drink and marinate the pig and sing christmas songs and shit while they were fucked up and make egg nog and shit When I would wake up That morning the christmas eve morning, they would be fucking lit They would be lit and they go go and come back and by the time you get back the pig will be ready They would you know marinate that thing for eight fucking hours Garlic garlic moho moho is the and tell them how bad a Cuban refrigerator smells Can you tell people like if you leave a soda in there and you got to open it up? Even the metal stinks like fucking garlic

And shit and yeah, I can't drink this fucking soda. How I taste this garlic moho is garlic and Naraja agria Sour orange. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, that's the moho. That's what gives it the flavor to the big Yeah And they would sit there rubbing that motherfucker with that freak you as a kid seeing a pig like you just learned about it I wouldn't even look at it. I wouldn't even look at it. I wouldn't even know you better I would look at that like my mother would go look look at his teeth And I fucking shit my pants

I run out of the house and shit I come back 10 hours later that motherfucker was cooked to the gills with his eyeball still in and shit And are these like family recipes like that your moms have been passing down Everybody can't imagine this isn't a cookbook. I mean, it's just like a hawaiian luau. They do the same thing Right. Yeah. This has been done by every fucking national alley. Oh, you know, but I'm just saying like cooking Have a fucking you know like each family that probably has its own Like different little take on it or because like I don't know. It's kind of cool. It's kind of cool Thinking, oh, I didn't get this out of a cookbook

This is something that's been that my great-grandpa would taste it know exactly what the fuck this is It's handed down generations and they each have their own fucking Retarded way of doing it. You got to bring the pig in from the north Or something, you know, I ain't like it's always something like you know, no, no, no He's got to come into the back door You got to drag him to the back door. He can't come into a pig pig can't come into the front door He's got to come into the back door. What the fuck are you talking about doesn't matter We don't have a back door put them to the back window

Makes you know, you're fucking got a pig committing suicide in the back What is loose around his neck because you're fucking bringing them up to the fourth floor? It's fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy I got away from that shit early But like the fifth grade I was done I was done with that Cuban shit I had had it I had had it and then I would avoid all those things

But I would still go to my mother's bar because I'd make money up there Those Cubans would always give you 20s on the holidays and 50s So I go up there for a night and walk out of there with 400 for what? What do you have to do? Just hug people. Okay. Just hug him. How you doing? I'm available. Good to see you. Oh my god. You've gotten so big Are you doing great in school? Yes. Here's 50 and the drunker they got the more jokes I told them in the more 20s they give me There was a but there was a couple bookies that would come in there that would go in there with pockets full of money And I knew it and I'd hit them up before they left. What's going on dawg? Let me tell you a joke

How much for you to go away little kid 50? Bang 50 or whatever 20 I would go home and then my mother would tell me next day like how much did you get last night? I lied or no fucking bullshit. He gave you 100. He told me he gave you 100 What was there anything for New Year's Eve? Like is this the whole time of your big or is it just Christmas? This is the the Cuban holiday starts on the 17th of December Because of st. Lazarus birthday traditionally it just goes from there. It's not about and December 4th

December 4th. It just goes. Yeah, so the 7th December 4th kicks up That kicks up for about three days two days prior People get prepped and then once that cools down the 17th opens up With st. Lazarus if you got any blood in your fucking veins, you just keep going till Christmas fucking day With your kids and then you go to the 7th of January Cubans go to the 7th the L'Oreal Mago L'Oreal L'Oreal Mago What is that one? That means you get cash on the 7th. I like that one. I see I knew it

Traditionally, it's the day that the wise men arrive Okay at the manger And they give you money for that they give you money for perfect sense and uh and br I'll take it. What else they give you? Well, that's what the wise men the brother in frankincense myrrh and some some spices. It's great. It really is uh, I miss all that shit I don't miss the craziness that comes with it because that means that usually a relative Comes to stay with you for 17 days. Yeah, who rats you out from all your little shit. You know what I'm saying?

Like they're always up when you come in You can't come in any more red eyes because don't catch it because they watch tv in the lemon room That's what I hated about that time of the year. They always got a crazy relative that stayed with you That's success And do you guys do you guys miss it at all? Like as christmas goes by Like this year I started thinking like I miss I went and saw this thing in burbank They were letting a menorah and I was singing the songs and it just brought me back for a second until like being a kid

I was like, oh, this is I can see what the benefit of this is If I miss that I miss what I just told you because I didn't appreciate it while I was going through it. Right You know, I didn't really I looked at it for something different than what it was, you know, but I saw how much effort my mother put into december 4th Yeah, and I saw how much effort She put into the holidays like started the 16th and the 17th and you have to stay up the third

Like in my house, you have to stay up to about one on the third And then you have to stay up to about one on the 16th But to bring in the 17th Yeah, and you have to stay up christmas New years you got to stay up And what like what is cuba like during this time? I can only imagine. I don't even know You mean now or during this four week party period Well, you know, we used to have carnavals a carnaval

con la comparsa comparsa is like the big parade, you know of like floats for a whole month You know, it was like it was like the one in new york lanes, but every weekend for a whole month Like for them in a row every weekend Which led up to what you're talking about, you know, the celebraciones de santo abari and everything, you know But I don't think that they do that anymore in cuba I Maybe now because, you know, things might are changing a little bit. They're improving the conditions, but Not for the last 50 years, you know

How fucking crazy isn't that that they can't live the way they lived on that drives me crazy? Yeah, you know, I have to call my fucking sister really I I don't do it because The conversation is always painful. Yeah, I bet you know just and she and I offered for how to come up to sponsor for a month She said she was too old. She don't want to do it Yeah, so what am I gonna do? Yeah, you know Every day I gotta call and I don't fucking call it because uh, you know, it's just one of those things that um Just bothers the fuck out of me, you know, I wish we were all together. I just saw my other cousin

My other cousin came up About a month ago and sold out The theater on vine I read her a little Cuban band. Yeah And then my friend Stacy Poca Ludo is going to New Year's for Christmas Christmas for New Year's and she's going to my cousin's ball the fuck to read So she's gonna say something to him. I said, you know, say hello. Don't follow me. I talked more to his sister when I talked to eckey, so What are you gonna do, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, the best thing this week was your fucking hired guns movie and shit

Oh, you got to watch that fuck. Yeah, watch it twice It took a while like I knew it was out in Sacramento that weekend I kept trying to go back to the hotel and watching it But I would get too stoned and pass out this There's nothing worse than watching something when you're not gonna be attentive No matter how bad you want to watch it. No bad. How bad you've been waiting for it If you're tired, you're gonna miss shit. You're not gonna watch it, right? Then you're gonna go to bed

No way they either do the fucking finish it. Yeah, now you still get up again. I have to watch it again. So fuck it I just uh watch it like six o'clock when everything was ready. I got nice and stoned And it was a world I knew of I didn't know it and I know there's more to that world So much. There's so much more to the hired gun world, you know what I'm saying now when you were in quiet Right, you were not hired. No, you were part of that bad. No. Yeah, and even with Ozzy you were really not a Ozzy I was but white snake sort of Yes, no It was in between both, you know

You know the whole term hired gun basically You know, everybody even the Beatles at one point they were a hired gun. They were hired by this guy Tony Sheridan And they made a record my body lies over the ocean before they were signed as the Beatles So everybody has a bit of history Jimmy Hendrix was a hired gun for little Richard the Isley Brothers King Curtis, you know Uh, everybody led Zeppelin

Jimmy Page one of the most successful studio guitar players John Paul Jones He was a conductor and a studio musician So everybody has a bit of history and people that do it, you know, let's say Steve look with her with Toto He played on all the Michael Jackson records as a man while he was still a member of Toto We are musicians We love to play anytime that I get a phone call or or nowadays a A text or something, you know, somebody asking me hey, are you available? And if it sounds like something that's going to be fun and quality

I'm there because I love to play I love to play music You know, I'm one of those guys who is very blessed that I did not get to have to play the same 20 songs for the rest of my life Which is what I really wanted to do But now that I look back and I go man, I know guys who this is all they do they do these 20 songs for the last 30 years It's not a whole lot of fun, you know That was one of the things about the documentary that Struck me is that they weren't negative about it

But even I forget the the name of the person saying this but they said plan A Was to be like the headlining band and this was plan B for him but to me I don't know that the hired gun Almost seems a little bit preferable in some ways to being like the band where you're out there and and you have to play the same 20 or you you worried about things selling out like as a hired gun You're just going there to play and you're done Like that's what it seemed like to me is that is that you were paid to play

And every all the other stresses were gone Yeah, I mean there's some disadvantages about being a hired gun is because you're not really part of the Usually of the creative process because you're just higher after has been created You know, or even a song's been written, you know, I really get hired You know to have an opinion basically you get hired because there's a vision and You are going to fulfill that part of the vision The best To whoever's hiring you, you know, I say, okay, I have an idea who's going to be great for this

And you get that call, you know, basically But having said that I being a member of band like quiet riot It was really wonderful to be part of the creative process too that you really don't get to do that as a hired gun So there's a hired gun usually you get hired to go on the road to Well, anything it could it could be a tour it could be to play on a record I I play I play more records nowadays than I've ever had them have before for the simple fact that I have time The reason why I have time is because we let's say right now. I'm in the guess who and We do weekends

We go out and play, you know, Friday, Saturday and Sunday We're not in a bus traveling around the country. We go home When I go home, I I I play on people's records either go to the studio or they send me the tracks and I record them in my in my home studio Very simple back in the day when I was in in in white snake, let's say We would have four or five at least four videos on mtv which meant that every Two or three months they put out a new video which meant that they extended your tour We tour for a year and a half

By the time you you got off the road for that tour You're back into do pre-production for the next record and the next tour There was no time to do anything else For anybody else. So wait, does that mean you're on the road straight for a year and a half? Yeah, well, you will come home every eight weeks for about a week And because because it's they've done by legs you would do like like the east coast Then you took a break because even even the crew, you know, you have to it's not just the musicians The crew they need to see their family spend some time at home, you know

Uh, and then we we'll get back together again because again, you don't want to have too much of a break because if you do You miss the crew is gonna do something else one week is enough for them And then they they they start looking for work, you know, like So if you took off like six weeks, well, you're gonna lose your your crew. You're, you know, the people So you you keep it you keep everybody busy, but sensibly, you know a balance a very very small balance But at least, you know, nevertheless, you'll be considering everybody's needs A year and a half Yeah, you're a year and a half. Yeah. Now why are you on the road? Were you riding also?

We didn't have the technology that we have nowadays. Yeah, you you come up with ideas and you put them in you and you're one of those Voice voice recorded, you know, with a tiny little that's the technology we had in the 80s there's a little Little cassette micro cassette recorders that you got a radio shot. That was it. I mean nowadays you can actually Make a record one of these things but or an iPad at least You know, you hear like the the old Sabbath albums. They were done when they were touring Like the first no the second during that that was very popular. I think they were while they were touring I played in bands that did that I play when I play with with boys or cult they used to do

Sessions during during the week and go out on during the weekends And I believe the guests who did did recordings like that But see I came in right at the very beginning of the MTV period And those were massive tours massive It when I was with Ozzy Both blizzard of Oz and diary of the madman were recorded before Tommy Aldridge and I joined the band So we toured for blizzard in the united states and canada Then we took a month off just one month

And regrouped in in the uk and we went and we went out on tour for the European and uk leg of diary of the madman we didn't start touring diary of the madman until december 30 Opening night the cow palace in san francisco in 1981 1981 so in that in 81 we actually we did two two tours in 81 Back to back for two records two different records blizzard Took a month off came back in a in late october and started touring in for diary of the madman

And that tour went up went on until july And then we did a couple of festivals and then we recorded We recorded the uh speak of the devil black sabbath re-recording at the ritz in new york 1982 And that was the last show ever did with Ozzy No shit. Yeah Two nights at the ritz I had that out. I don't know what the fuck happened to it. I think I had on cassette I had them on cassette

In 1983 in snow mass village. I used to listen to that from the palladium I just Now let's say okay like the biggest story of hired guns ever for me were like the eagles And the early on the eagles had a lot of People who switched and left the guy from toto left this guy left So eagles. Yeah, some guy didn't really want to be in the band any longer. Yeah, he left And then they got uh felmin the original crew was like felmin the drummer

Henley henley And somebody else that was it. That's the original. Yeah, i'm felmin. That's his name. You had uh Randy Meissner was the bass player. Randy Meissner and he left and and leden leden was the utility guy He played mandolin, you know, you solo, you know, yeah, he played like all these and then joe walsh Joe played it when bernie leden left joe walsh came in and then and randy meissner's last record was hotel california The bass player then the bass player from poco came in the band the indian Is the indian no the big indian one of the things i can't tell you why Yeah, i'm the last i don't know. Yeah

Yeah, i don't know the last run the final the last run or whatever. Yeah great singer great bass player I mean from poco poco was a great band, you know, I saw i sold him a bunch of times life. Is that druther line Poco poco druther line Oh, that's toto toto poco I saw poco open up. I think it was either to poco or toto Open up the ted new jen harrow smith frank marino mahogany rush. Yeah

toto, yeah Yeah, yeah, the poco was uh, the to me the guy just stood out and poco was rusty young Was not related to neil young. It was it was a steel like a steel guitar player, but he stood up He didn't sit behind the steel, you know, you got he played it like like a like a like it was a lap steel But almost like a guitar. He stood up playing it like a guitar and even the guy was just phenomenal Phenomenal, yeah I just The thing that baffles me the most all right. You're a hired gun. You come in you're coming for the tour to strengthen it

Let's say, you know You laid the tracks and you come in on a tour to strengthen the tour That's what I thought a hired gun was at or that but you know by hired gun It's it's it's it's also a way of networking and create not only building your resume, but your trust factor That's when people start trusting you. That's when you start getting like Hey, you know, we need a guitar player. Oh, yeah, I just finished doing a tour with so-and-so I mean he was great. He was you know, he was on time. He's my bud. Let's let's call him up That I guess how I get a lot of jinx because people know me

I've toured with a lot of people the reason why I'm in the guest who now is because I was doing a tour with the jeff tate version of queen strike And we had sass jordan play the part of sister mary because we're doing the whole operation line crime record and You know, we became buds and when it came time like uh, you know, the guest who they're looking for a bass player sass told her husband Derek sharp who is the the singer and the guest who hey, why don't you call rudy? If that wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't ever point out playing with the guest who

You know, because it's it's like you you don't even have to audition at that point Even though I consider that I auditioned personally every single day every single day. I got I got to show up with my best game Because the day you don't that's it. It's it's over everything you've been building all this time But in the sense of auditioning can this guy Play the songs That's pretty much I'm past that Now it's the point of is you're gonna fit in at personality because of course, you know You don't know until you get together and you spend some time, you know on the road playing the songs and

Proving yourself You know, you build that trust but at least the initial The initial thought of I know this guy. I already been with this guy, you know on tour with this guy I trust him to do the gig You then become part of a very short list. So it definitely has this benefit of being a a A a higher gun That's how I got to get with Ozzy because Randy knew me From playing with him in choir riot in the 70s

So when they were looking for somebody really quickly In la if it would have been looking for if they were been looking for somebody in London It would have been a different story because I know Ozzy and Sharon knew a hundred guys That they could have you know brought in but here they are in Los Angeles Looking for somebody and it's like they don't know and Randy kept saying listen everything that you need that you're looking for All the qualities Rudy has him, you know, he's not gonna be a bad influence on Ozzy drinking is not an alcoholic It's not a drug addict. He's gonna show up do the gigs you can depend on him He's gonna he's gonna play these songs. So it was kind of like

The night before I did the audition I met Ozzy Randy brought me over to a So I was it was saying at the the Beverly Hilton And we were there a a traitor Vicks. Remember traitor Vicks. We were having a scorpions a traitor Vicks And Ozzy I'm talking with Ozzy and he goes man Just do me a favor just be able to play. That's it. That's all because I had the gig already Just because Randy had recommended me So the next day right before I did the audition I got together with Randy

He showed me, you know, a little because I had to pick it. I never heard the songs and like overnight I was auditioning for this band, you know, so Randy, you know, he run me through it And okay, so I did the audition and got the gig and he changed my life. I mean Really changed your your life, you know, just in a moment, you know And it that could have been that that could have gone the other way It could have been the moment that You regret not getting the gig for the rest of your life, but it didn't happen It went the other way. Well, like

Like that that story kind of freaks me out in a little in a little bit like It's one of the coolest things that you've got to do you you love Having been in black Sabbath, but The only one of the main reasons you got it was because you were in the right city like that. Absolutely Like it you have to be you put all this work in You have to be personally and you're like, oh, I just happened to be in LA if you listen to 99% of these success stories Timing is everything, but it's not even timing. It's just luck. No, no, it's timing. It's everything

It wasn't just being in LA. There was a lot of people in LA. Oh, no, no, you're amazing Yeah, no, no, no, there was a lot of people in LA who were even With a huge resume That because they were already rock stars Could not be trusted The rainbow the rainbow was full of guys like that the rainbow Bar and grill in the 70 was full of guys who did not get anywhere or They did not get they did not get anywhere until they went to rehab and clean themselves up

Because one thing is to have the chops. The other thing is to be dependable. Right. Oh, absolutely You know, and that and that'd be an asshole because you know, we like you I'm not saying that you got lucky because you obviously you'd put the work in and you were a talented musician but In the end Like with the thing that tipped it over was that you were in the right place at the right time Timing is everything. It's amazing. Yeah, if you look back at your life and your successes You were at the right place

At the right fucking time But you know what this is LA LA if you're gonna be in the entertainment industry, this is At least back in the 70s and the 80s This was the only place let's put it this way if I wanted out of from becoming a rock star If what I wanted to really achieve was the lifestyle of somebody who was gonna drink have a bunch of chicks do a bunch of Blow I would have just stayed in Miami. I already had that Wow, it was right there. I already achieved that. I want chicks. Yeah, sure. How many chicks, you know, every single night Just go to the clubs. I'm playing in bars

Uh cocaine the best cocaine came out of Miami or you know came to Miami alcohol cheap Cars corvettes, whatever, you know, that's not I wanted to be I wanted to be a musician. I wanted to be creative I wanted to be an artist You know and I it Being a rock star was not even in my radar because I didn't even know what that what it was like But I knew what it was like to go to the concert and see the guys my heroes Move me emotionally move in and go shit

I gotta do that. I'm a musician. I'm halfway there. I'm already playing an instrument But I want that creative outlet And to get there it's at the beginning. It's a freaking mystery, man You just have no idea how you're gonna do it. How you know, it's like you, you know, when you got into comedy Because you know how to do how to get there No, nothing. No, no, nothing. I had no idea. It's a journey. I mean, you're basically blind You're blindfolded through the whole journey. I mean you because sometimes you can't even see in front of you You know, you're gonna even see how you're gonna survive another day

But you do somehow, you know in 1985 I was clean and sober for four days Like I gotta get to the television business And my basketball coach in the eighth grade was a camera guy For good going morning america all his life. He did it for like 40 fucking years. Steve Rubinaccio And I called him so much and bothered me stopped taking my calls because he's like, what do you want to do? I'm like, I don't know. I just want to be get me a job over that Do you want to carry sets? Do you want to be a light guy? I go, I don't know

I think I want to talk to people but If you got a job carrying things I'll take the job carrying things You know, I just didn't know where to start. You don't know how to get into something, you know And it bothered me and I forgot about it for a while and it bothered me and I forgot about it for a while Until one day it bothered me so much. I actually did something about it, you know That's the way I look at yeah Yeah, and that that's your purpose your purpose in life, you know people call it dreams And la for some reason there's been the city where people have a dream

And they come here Somehow they just get here and it's like once they get here. It's like it's just a matter of surviving it So it's it's it's one of the toughest places to survive But then again unless you come here you ain't gonna achieve your purpose You know people call it oh man, you know, I got dreams and no no they might come to you And seem like a dream because you start getting ideas. Oh I want to become an actor. I want to become a comedian. We're going to become a singer a songwriter Whatever a musician and you must go to la

You must be here. This is where the end of the industry is. This is where you're going to audition This is where you're going to present yourself. This is where you're going to be hanging out in the places where all the The people that make decisions They are, you know, this is where the agents are your managers who are as actually it's it's it's the conduit to get you from Here to there, right? You know, this is where they're at and these are the people who gonna mentor you and tell you well, listen I got these clients and you know

In order for you to become like this my star clients you you have to listen to my advice You know, I'm pretty sure they they've worked with some people like that who actually mentor you I have And thank god for that and thank god that I actually listen to them, you know and la is built on Us us dreamers the dreamers we come here The people with a purpose the people who figure out I want to do this for the rest of my life. I came here alone I didn't have yeah, I had some girlfriends

But it wasn't the type of relationship that I was going to drag them Through hell. I was ready to drag myself through hell To get what my purpose My dream I used to call it a dream now. I realize it's a purpose in life What it is and I was willing to do You know within moral, you know, without a moral framework because I still have you know, my spirituality and my moral My religious guidance But within that framework I was I was I was ready to do anything to survive

Anything and I did and I did if I would have had a plan B I would have never Got gotten as slow as I did which is basically sleeping on somebody's floor Basically, you know Can't afford anything. What do you want for food at a time? But I did it because I knew I knew that that was my purpose in life to be a musician. I didn't know how I couldn't even see how big it was going to be but I I could see that it was going to be big enough that I could make that my life

journey being a musician And that's You get to a point that you find that That purpose that you're willing to fight for Every single day of your life And you can't give it up because if you do it's over it's over And I will know about you, but I travel are a lot around

the country and I meet people who At one point they had a purpose they had a dream they had a dream and you can tell that That dream that purpose they never really fought for it And they're beaten down You know And I have so much respect for anybody who comes out here and even if you For example your your your family your kids They are they didn't come here

They were brought up by you With a purpose with a dream They have that in their DNA they have that you you raised them with that point of view So they once they find their purpose they're gonna fight for it Everybody with me I didn't think stand up was my purpose. I ain't gonna go I don't know what it was for me. I knew I knew was my savior

But I knew I didn't really want to pursue it I knew it was gonna be my savior And we had this conversation Lee and I about three weeks ago. I knew it I knew this was the answer to all my problems And it took me a year and a half to get on that fucking stage No dreaming. No, I wish No, I want to be this guy. I thought I'd get on stage two or three times

Maybe four times now the fifth time Jay Leno walked in and put me on the tonight show that'd be a star That's what I thought the And that wouldn't have been fun That wouldn't have been no good. That wouldn't have been good at all You know, I thought that I heard a story about uh, what's his fucking name? You know moonlighting Oh, Bruce Willis Bruce Willis. Yeah, he was a bartender He got discovered. Well, it didn't happen that way He went to acting classes and he auditioned and he got fucking discovered

You know, we got I got fed this bullshit stories that you were, you know Uh, I produced someone into a bar and saw Bruce Willis and hired him for a movie just like that You know, I thought that I thought it was a lottery I always thought it was a lottery and I didn't want to believe that you had to work for it And today I'm happy I fought Every fucking inch it was like playing the green Bay Packers In january when the snow melts and they're getting more snow now And you're playing in the mud and you got to fight for every fucking inch, you know

And I didn't have a plan. I did have a plan b Rudy the plan b was to move to new jersey and sell coke And let that be my end because I failed at everything else that was going to be that was the plan b But I don't know I didn't have the balls to execute plan b I always knew there was another month Let me give it another month, but I never even wanted to come here Rudy My purpose was not to come here. I just wanted to be a comic that traveled to hid Kept his profile very low

Just made enough to squeak by maybe do a little blow And maybe have a piece of shit card if I could live in the van like the wrestler I would have been good That's all I want. That's all I wanted from stand up I just didn't want to do what I was doing which was being a criminal And being in pain all the time But what you said about the fucking people you see I got like three friends now

That I look at And I know they were a little off because I grew up with them And I know that They wanted to do and be something different than when they ended up But because of fear or the drug addiction Or kids or whatever excuse they made up in their head. They didn't get to that next level. Do you know what I'm saying? I feel that too And that's why I do this podcast

And that's why I bust your balls the way I do because I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I would have never gone on stage that I would have committed suicidal and I'm the suicidal type of guy But if I would have woke up one day at 56 and subway sandwich With a tattoo on my arm talking about I saw a white snake in 87 I would have shot myself Well, I would have shot myself. Do you guys think? I don't know that everyone If you put in the time is going to make it like don't you think some people at a certain point

It's not about making it. Okay It's about going For whatever your purpose was like Rudy says Going for it. Whether you fail. What's making it? Right. That's making it is What it is for you. Listen right now. Rudy's been he's going on the road. We guess who? He's been on the road with thousands of fucking musicians. He's met everyone gold albums platinum albums There's a musician somewhere in st. Louis

That's a great musician, but he plays fucking He's in charge of the fucking high school music program. Yeah, he makes 160,000 a year. He's got a house And he's very content and he's probably his talent that is Rudy is bass wise He's very content. That's his Purpose that's his purpose. That's what he wants. Let me ask can I ask you this Rudy? And I if I'm not asking for any sort of number But if if you wanted to could you just be retired right now? Could you do you have to play music to survive? I I play

Right. I can't I can't even imagine not playing. It's like it's not even part of my identity Rudy retired not making music It's like you might as well just Kill me right right over right. Well, let's say if you just retired from the road and produced Would you think of that or no? I I produce basically to produces, you know, I and I I I'm a big fan of producers. I'm my best friends are producers. It's a whole different role A producer is kind of like overseer. I Overseer it was almost like

It's it's a bit it's like being a director or being an actor I like to be a musician as the same as an actor. We love to be an actor a lot of a lot of music a lot of actors going to become directors, but I I know my purpose. I know my dream, you know Talking about the other people that they that you were mentioning, right? The way that I like to live my life And you know some people and I used to do this I used to have like my my yearbook photo That's the guy that I would talk to

Because that that guy that geek in the yearbook invented this is the guy who came up with this who I am today If this is his idea, right, you know, and I can show you the photo. I mean, it's despicable, you know But nevertheless, this is the guy who Was living in Miami with my folks and I was just, you know, graduated from high school I started playing in titty bars in my in Miami and I and I kept saying Okay, this is really cool, man. You got all these naked chicks around you and you got free booze and whatever, but this is not This is not the ultimate. This is not your purpose You see you sold it zippling. You sold the purple last week. That's your purpose

Me being a Cuban kid. Can you imagine? My own Cuban friends used to tell me you're crazy. You're never going to be playing with these guys You're freaking Cuban from Miami and I said, I'll figure it out. I am going to do it. I'm not staying here I left Miami with, you know, secure gigs, you know playing disco or whatever, you know, and and whatever entertainment indulgence that I that I could get With a suitcase and a guitar And I went around the country for like two or three years until I wound up in my in Los Angeles Because that was the final destination, you know, this is where the music industry was

Because I knew and there was no turning back to Miami Me there was no like, well, I can always go back to Miami and keep playing the bars and doing the no This is now what I'm going to do So now instead of me looking at that kid from high school the yearbook I see myself as a sperm Competing with a million sperms To get here Just like you did

Just like you did You were the sperm that beat out all the other million sperms You're it You made it Congratulations. Now what? What she what should any one of us give up on our dreams? We fucking just won right, you know You know, we when you were playing those those uh bars in Miami. Were you Uh, I know were you proud of yourself? Were you like I'm doing something like I'm happy or were you not even we're not satisfied at all

It was it was boot camp. You knew there was something more. Oh, yeah, that's the problem. And it was that's what I always felt There's got to be something more this kid. This can't be it. Yeah, it was it was an education education and also you you get to you find inspiration and and a little bit of uh Fear because I was I was playing in the same circuit at jacko pastorias In miami and will leave from the devil letterman, okay? I mean these guys are monsters and I'm thinking if these guys are in my In my hood, it's gotta be a thousand guys like these guys, of course, you know, I didn't realize there was there was only one jacko

Ever but nevertheless that will really inspire you and and and Make you realize how hard you have to work Because even though music is not competitive a competition sport The business is very competitive Right and to me like seeing what you're saying sometimes when I see someone who's that great and It doesn't make me. Oh, I gotta work. It's like, oh, I'll never be that good. So why you can't do that? Right. No, because see that person it's what that person has achieved. It's the best that they can be You need to achieve the best that you can be right

Because that's complete. There's no competition in that Because the other person will never be the best you that you can be No, I'm I'm just uh, I'm I'm quiet because this is what I was talking about with my therapist today. This is uh It it's a lot of times like just for me personally I'll make excuses or I'll see something. Oh, I can't do this because I'm not going to be the best and then something she said to me She's like, there's only one person who's the best and I was like, oh, I never even thought about that before like I don't know like it's it's a weird thing to want to be the best

But like just being okay with working on it. I guess being okay with Improving and yeah and growing. No, okay. If you if you don't grow you die You're with or away you disappear Not only that you get in a competition The people that keep improving are the ones that go beyond right while you're standing still You know, it's not a matter of just even standing still if you don't move forward You're going to get passed by everybody else that is that keeps moving forward right on you, you know Uh, see you you need to lose that identity because as long as you keep telling yourself negative thoughts

You're gonna become that Oh, yeah 100% that's I've been going for like five or six months and I'm working on it But it's it's just into it like I don't know. I think what you were saying about robert plant earlier. It's like we just think You just see these people who you imagine are at the top of their fields or industries and you're like There's no like it's not even it's not even like a dream It's not even a physically humanly possible thing for me to be the best editor or the bell like And you're right. You gotta

You gotta just focus on it. Let's say Rudy Sarza Is the best place player in the world right and I grew up listening to rudy Growing up as his fan his style of playing his style of movements Yeah, I'm gonna do that I'm gonna do that for 10 or 12 years, but in that journey I'm gonna find myself

And I'm gonna have rudy style And it's gonna be a 3d reversion of rudy style Do you follow me? It has part of his style and put it you expanded on my identity Right. Absolutely. So it's my identity. I'm putting to that base You know when you eric Clapton's a great guitarist and david gilmore's a great guitarist But you blindfold me and I can tell you after the first three chords who's playing it. Really? That's what they do. Yeah, okay. That's what they do That's what they do. Do you think that every Clapton sat there at night going fucking jimmy page? No

Jimmy page do what he do You do what you do and that's why people always say to you The most basic thing for yourself That those two words Are so fucking strong and nobody ever listens to them Because we're sold on everything else that we see We never give ourselves enough credit

Be yourself. You'd be surprised what you have to offer somebody You'd be fucking surprised I walk around and I see people Living I got a dear friend that lives this fucking life And I want to grab him by the throat and bang his head because you're not that person And the more you keep living into that fucking assumed person The deeper you're gonna get as a human being as yourself. You're never gonna move forward Once I came to terms with who I was I was a fucking junkie who was fat

Who went to prison and this is what I'm gonna fucking do and I don't care listen Ralphie May bill burr Louis C. K Rogan Kenison they were great. They were some of the comics I looked up to but guess what? I'm not them and name me And even though bill burr is the best and

Kevin Hart's fucking tremendous. There's a thousand good comics You figure out somewhere on the line that you have something to offer absolutely Be yourself those two words are fucking so gold But we never have enough confidence in being ourselves And it's not even like the confidence thing is part of it, but I don't know for some reason my brain never even Work that way like and I never even thought of Okay, maybe you're not the best

But you can like you have something like that like that sentence. I think is even stronger for me than to be yourself is like No matter what level you're at you have something to offer Whether you're just helping someone you're learning or yeah, that's that's huge. That's great You know the I I started to improve my playing once I stopped to trying to be the best Ever or the best around and I realized that To focus and to be the best that I can be

The best me rather than the best Overall, right? Yeah, everybody because I got to I you know going back to the question about retiring There's so much more about music theory and reharmonization and music and getting into jazz and all that That I'm doing now that I know I am not going to Learn everything by the time I die or my hands can't move anymore But that's my path. I am You know people ask me, you know, they say if you don't know me. So what do you do? And I use the the two more powerful words that I know

I am I would even I would even write. I am like a like shorting it. I a person if he am I am a musician Because it's not just about playing bass. It's about musical knowledge Musical ability and being able to communicate through music and listen to others and know what they're doing and what you can contribute to the piece, you know the music the composition And That is going to take a lifetime and beyond. I'll probably come back reincarnated as a musician and continue my my musical journey because I am so

In tune with that identity about myself that to finally After all these years realize what my purpose is It wasn't to be Just a guy who played in bars and did this and hung out and you know Played a bunch of music videos. No is about being a musician And I've never been more fulfill and more clear about my life journey that I am right here sitting with you guys And I'm in the same fucking boat I'm in the same boat because I tell you why bro. Just today. Josh will call me

This morning. We're going back and forth about shit And he was asking me about my schedule. I said, listen, that's not the need the ear surge I'm not going to travel for a couple of weeks and then you top it off I'm only going to go out one week a month. You know, I go, you know what bro For 20 years for 15 years. Nobody talked to me as a comic. I just acted You know, the other day I went to berk christians for christmas. His dad goes The other day I saw you on three different things at the same time. You don't act no more and I go They pulled me into this fucking stand-up and they forget all about that my point being that

I strived early on not to be the best But to be a comedian does that sound that's what my thing was once I became a stand-up I started looking around, you know, right now this is dude that keeps calling me The last four or five weeks he keeps calling me He's got a pretty good idea, but you know, I won't do it really Because I met him as a comic and the last 10 years he's been four things Do you follow me? He's been four things. He's been a director An editor a producer

Now he invented this. I hate those motherfuckers. I'm a comic I never never come in here to tell you I want to be a director. No I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm a comic You want to make this fucking project stronger? I know how to do that I know how to make it funny if I'm A to Z. I'm a comic and I'm very I'm a great comedic actor You know when I go on on a fucking job now when I got on on the set now It's been 20 years dawg Remember I spent 17 weeks on the set with Adam Sandler dicking around that's an experience when he would tell you

Do what you want to do Really do what I want to do not what you want me to do So in 26 years of comic comedy You figure 19 years of acting my first three years. I was such a shitty comic. Do you know why? Because I only improvised Guess what? You guys have never really seen me improvise because I don't let nobody see me improvise Even at the store at like working with uncle joey. No, no, no, you see me improvise then

But you've never seen me talk to the audience and do that for an hour. Okay, I can do that with anybody I can do that with the best anybody. I just don't do it because it's not comedy It creates bad habits It's a bad habit to get into and then you don't write and then you keep continuing to do that Then your sets become like a toy car A dice throw it's a 50 50 set When I get you I'm gonna fucking get you but if I don't get you and then try to get you a material It's not gonna be a good night for me. So I don't go that route when people are paying big money for me

I want you to get the best of me you could get. I don't want to dick around with you You wanted me seeing me dicking around go to the comedy store, right? Or go to the ice house, but when I'm getting 25 bucks from me 27 50 I gotta go in there and bat it but not to take away from what you were saying I feel the same way really I'm a comedian, bro And I've studied it. I've studied it in black and white I've studied in color. I've watched the combo duos that they put together over the years

And I did something else that a lot of people don't do I'm forced myself to listen to it instead of watching it I I've always been a listener That's there's a big difference than listening to comedy and watching comedy And you have to learn how to play to the listener Also at times instead of the viewer That's another thing people don't

You know how I got good by making people listen this fucking podcast Seven years of doing a podcast You learn that people are listening to you. They're not watching here. They watch how many videos they watch a week If we get 200,000 downloads, how many people watch it on video 50 60 70 This is basically the people who listen to in their car And I've also loved that when I first did this with Liga and Felicia. I told them both They kept saying well, why don't you know I want to take it back to when people listened

People don't listen no more already People don't want to listen no more It's that simple, you know for years in this country MTV was great Because we didn't get to listen to you It broke that habit. We started watching you Watching you know what I am? But to listen you get a different emotion It's really weird if you listen

to Richard Pryor Watch live on the Sunset Strip And listen to Richard Pryor by Centennial Nigga with that album bouncing And you can hear the waitress dropping the glasses and all that It takes you somewhere differently. I love that shit Well, that's why I love studio tapes I don't want your album Rudy I really don't want your album. I really don't want the Blizzard of Oz. I want the studio tapes

I want to see what you guys went through How you changed the bass how Randy changed that solo There's uh, you ever see on youtube Uh, when that fucking dude joined black Sabbath before deal Have you ever heard those songs? You want to shoot yourself and jump out of the window I think it was Ian Gillin and they have him on there singing like having an hour Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

They replaced Ozzy Before never say die and then they brought him back behind his back for black Sabbath Yeah, and they have him singing junior's eyes and something else on youtube Ian Ian oh It sounds like somebody's shitting in your fucking hat because Ian did the born again record Right because quiet riot opened up on that tour and I gotta tell you I saw him sweating bullets trying to sing the The art and is Ian Gillin. I mean this guy is he's a motherfucker. He's a motherfucker He's a motherfucker. I mean, he's like one of the mother fuckers, you know, that's it. You know, he's on that class, you know

But he it wasn't him Ozzy is one of the hardest singers to try to imitate I Mean, you know, there's no way you're gonna sound or even deliver it just like Ozzy The the thing with with Ronnie James deal is quality very few people have that vocal quality But there's something about Ozzy's voice. It's kind of like Robert plant the same thing You know that certain brains a certain pitch The very few people can actually capture that

No matter how much of a motherfucker they happen to be in their own right Let me get some shout outs here I'm gonna continue that conversation because we'll make the comparison right there for starters. The church wants to welcome This church wants to tell you happy new year from Rudy The fucking christ killer and myself and all the guests that have come on here We want to wish you a happy new year great success to you this year Hopefully you uh, at least go towards your fucking dream get off the opiates and make it happen

A little advice to you guys. You ready for this? All those 37 years I snored a coke I think the lat Ever since 1983 I didn't snort coke on new years no more. Did you know that I refused to snort coke on new years December 30th I would snort like I was going to Pablo's house But on new year's eve I refused to touch cocaine Why because number one I saw my buddy roger halloween get his ear bit off on new years 1983

That was one excuse but number two the real purpose was I didn't want it in my system while the year was changing I always wanted to get away from me. So for you guys that are trying to get off the drugs Don't start on the first start on the 31st Give me the shot take a chance columbus. Take this from your uncle joey. All right the big dog Josh Gallegos Tony Solman swinly 1882 Louis the Kid Cody Dunham

Mr. Wiggles matt brown sandman And my fucking heart mr. Bob La Lingus out there and motherfucking chicago running things Also to my dogs in austin texas crystal and bob will see you on the 18th When li and I got on to invade fucking Cap city and Our boy Danny Brown will be down there with us that weekend. So we're going to eat chinese food too instead of barbecue. So

Just so you know for you motherfuckers. I didn't know august 18th to the 20th austin texas To follow on thursday the 25th to the 28th Charlotte, north carolina get your tickets now bitches. What's up, lee? Oh, no, I just wanted to give a shout out to a buddy on the church page on facebook paul vance We talked to him a couple days ago. So yeah paul vance. There's a andrew nondral. I love you motherfuckers lawn Leon, you know who I love ookie spooky cleo You motherfuckers are the backbone my little indian and fucking whatever The white chicken michigan. I love you motherfuckers always

Anyway, but take it from my perspective You know the other night I watched your documentary then I watched your documentary again Uh, I found you very interesting and just uh Real, you know just the way you are here. You're a fucking tank And it's funny. I watched the ozzy thing now is a diehard ozzy fan Listen when when my mother died I was going through all that shit The song I was going to shoot everybody down to it was sabbath bloody sabbath plain and fucking simple You know, it's interesting that in the documentary last night that I saw sabbath on a night before

They actually showed tonia only playing the guitar with his fingers And for years whenever he took pictures he would never Leave that hand out where he had the accent to cut his fingers But on this they actually show him with the little tips that he made to play really interesting Did you watch the documentary the end? I loved them. I loved them. I loved all that shit sabbath bloody sabbath the sabotage You know tomorrow's dream when I heard snow blind I gave me a green light to snorkeling Until we shot Pablo Escobar in the head. I mean, you know, I don't have to tell you and and

I still remember like I told you going into a magazine store And either picking up circus Look, you see or cream Then going Jesus christ, you know ozzy is out of sabbath I had saw him with black sabbath and they weren't really that good van halen was on a task So the rumor was he was gone anyway and You know They had to hide the guy from savoy brown to replace him for a while

And nothing really worked out and then we heard that this dude deal from rainbow And I already had rainbow rising like I already had and I thought it was a great fucking out But I just didn't see it I just didn't see it. I go that's not gonna work Black sabbath the deal is not gonna work and then I went to The place in the village the weekend they shot fucking John Lennon and I saw you guys e p And I my my heart almost fucking stopped, you know, I was he's back. Well, then the whole thing

And I think I saw you guys first At the palladium. Yeah, but I still want to see deal. Yeah, I went to I went to philadelphia I actually drove to Philly to the spectrum To see deal deal with sabbath Shaking street with sammy. Hey, goh All right, was a looser colton that too. Was that the black and blue too?

This was way before the black and blue tour. There was this was the very beginning of black sabbatura Yeah, then later on they picked up momentum and went with the black and then they even made a concert film Yeah, I have it. They even made a concert film a lot of people don't remember it. I don't see it out. I don't see it on youtube I don't know. I never really looked uh black and blue whatever But I was there. I was there when fucking uh They were spitting at sammy hey gone in philadelphia because they're they're animals. That's why I love philadelphia shout out They were spitting on their fingers and then going like this Flinging the spit at sammy hey guys. You could see him singing and ducking it like a fucking andes and silver

And blacks and when he put his fingers up like that the first time he's like generals gathered in their masses Just like christmas. I we gotta go I we gotta go but my buddy had eaten two quail. He ate Two hits of acid which turned out to be two blue quail ludes and he just passed out in the in the concert I mean he was on the floor snoring Waking him up rago wake up Until until he died. We were always going to remember those fucking

Those blue ludes you didn't that philadelphia. They weren't ludes. They were acid. You don't fuck. I was a tire from the night before They were blue ludes knock it off. All right But all that shit That album grew in me like a fucking like a herpes crack hole That fucking heaven and hell album it got stronger by the day and today I listen to that album once a week The whole heaven and hell I'm not a fan of the mob rules, but i'm a big fan of heaven. That guy took me little by little It was a very slow fucking finger in the ass ronnie james deal sabbath. I you know the love

I had for ozzy transferred right over to whatever it's I didn't go with any of them because of the voice It was the belief in their voice and the conviction on what they were saying That made me believe in ozzy osbourne. You know you bastards All that shit. I don't think deal could replace ozzy. I don't think ozzy could replace deal They're replaceable It's the style and what they brought to that band. Did I know that at 16 and 17?

Not really I was too stupid to figure that I figured out years later When I saw other singers and things leaving bands and people like I never I like the first back in black But by the time for those who rock who suck the cock came out For those who like to rock came out and really I'm not gonna lie to you You're with you potting the bingo. Yeah, that just wasn't me. I was a bondscott guy

And it wasn't till recently Remember a couple years ago. You came in here and you said something funny to me You go, you know what man? I put in a dain cook album in the other day Really wasn't that funny was it you that told me that? Yeah, I loved him in high school. I was I was just really wasn't I even had to turn it off. I was so embarrassed that I liked him That's the way I feel now. This is the motley crew early motley crew Shout out to devil I love looks to kill that song makes me want to snort coke and eat somebody's asshole

That's as soon as that song comes on And I like the other one uh piece of the action But I gotta tell you something he can't sing for dick You know, that was just fumes. You ever seen the movie the rat pack? Yeah On HBO they did the re-thing of the rat pack and the comedian bobby slayton who was playing joy bishop Said to dean martin boy, weren't we great tonight?

And he goes kid relax one of these days these people gonna wake up And the hangover's gonna be over and they're gonna go what the fuck was all the commotion about Because it's like we can't we get caught up in a fog With a lot of music in our lives I can't stand fucking acd sir, but I think that is terrible Between brine johnson and fucking uh, who's the other guy I just talked about the singer from motley crew events just godawful God awful. We just got caught in such a trance

Tommy lee with the drums And the old guy sitting there being 90 years old just it just sucks you in why was there an old guy there? He's part of the band. He's got to be I don't know for you if he's fucking everybody else is 50 He's got to be 80 now, right? What's the guitar player's name? What's his name? Nick mars big mars great fucking guitar sitting there being old, but oh, yeah, I said it's an equal thing. I seen quaint in 1994 In 1984 when that album came out that guy was 50 already The other thing that was holding them together was the heroine in the scotch tape

That's it. That was hold that motherfucker together Oh my god, right around I just saw him on the old heavy metal show and he could barely talk You think i'm thinking of going on tour. Yeah, good luck. You're gonna want to do one show a fucking week He's old bro, but in 84 that dude. I'm telling you But I don't like fucking none of those things they took still today. I put azi on And I fucking love it This morning. I listened to my favorite off diary sato

That's my favorite off fucking diary tremendous on there. You're tremendous. Everybody's fucking. Well, I'm not playing with that record You're not on that record. No diary and who the fuck played on that record Oh the same the same rhythm section that played on the first record those records were done back to back Within a month of each other That's crazy. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. He had all those songs. Yep. Well, randy did Right now, I mean if if you look at the trajectory of that band It was never the same after randy died musically making records. It was never the same never

Randy knew how to make make a record already Randy randy randy was very educated, you know about music theory and composition, which was basically virtually Very few musicians that I have ever played with and I'm talking about the guys like steve I and tony mccalpine who actually got an education steve. I went to uh, berkeley You know, he studied music, but everybody else that I played with, you know, and of course randy Randy had music education his mom his mom owned a music school not too far from here you know, so It's randy knew

music Just like any of the top guys, you know, like the jimmy page and you know people like that He could read he was reading classical music and writing classical compositions Very rare In the rock world at that time very very very rare, especially the sun's strip bands Very rare, you know Eddie van halen was another guy that was schooled in music. He knew he knows, you know, he's still with us, you know, so

And and you can tell by the quality of their creations of their compositions The timeless quality of it because they knew how to incorporate certain ingredients to make those songs classics Now it seemed I don't know if it was to me and I hate to say this In a way, but you're right. I mean about First time I saw Eddie. It was a different type of guitar It came from somewhere else. It wasn't michael shankler anymore. Yeah. Yeah, wasn't Tony. I only it wasn't uh It wasn't uh, you know, joe perry. This was these were not this wasn't david gilmore

It was a very orthodox fucking guitar And then randy roads took that guitar and ran with it, you know the beginning of Suicide solution that little guitar thing he does right doesn't he do them before so That you could tell that they came from different schools of thought Well to me the song diary of a madman itself is right. He made that statement of I fucking love that That fucking solo and in fact, that's what we're gonna close with Diary of motherfucking madmen But no, this is uh, this is music 101 today, but I'm happy you came on and even just talked about

It's so hard to understand what Your purpose is what a fucking lousy thing Teenagees and your early manhood because not only are you figuring out What you should act like as a man and everything you also got a fucking you got to figure out so much at one time Yeah, you got to figure out again what your purpose is Yeah, because I'll tell you what if you don't figure it out And you do decide on something else it eats you alive

It will it eats you on like those are the people you see that are heavy and they got on the plane and you look at them That you can see that the misery is pouring out of them You know, there's a difference between success and success There really isn't too financial success and whatever like that's what I'm saying this is a different thing You know, I could see the guy that makes a ton of money Like I gotta tell you something at times. I didn't want I didn't want this shit Comedy wise it's too much for a guy like me

I love comedy as a hobby. You know what I'm saying? Like I like it as a hobby As much as the pressure of having to have new materials and then outlook on life sometimes I don't dig it sometimes I liked it when it was just a plane hobby I liked it when it was just a dream. Do you know what I'm saying? Like there's an old expression sometimes it's better to want than to have I'm like you now. I've already accepted. I'm a comedian. I am a comedian. This is what I do for a fucking living I don't want to direct. I don't want to play the ukulele

I don't want to you know, I don't want to do nothing. You know, I like to I like again and writing is a part of this comedian too You have to write comically or whatever you still have to write There's so many aspects To being a musician and a comedian not just going on stage And performing in fact the preparation There's so much preparation to be for that final product Then I wish people would know and the only way you would know is by doing it

That's the only there's so much preparation These last three weeks really I haven't thought about dick every time I think of something funny I push it out of my head. I only want to think about something funny I just wanted my mind to breathe again to cultivate the fall in love with the art again But tell me have you watched other comedians? During that when you when you take the breather? No, I refused I was thinking I go out into the ice house tonight and watching rogan just sitting the back with a mask on But you make a specific effort because because you know you you made a choice you make choices. Yes

And why is that? I wanted I'm doing this from scratch. I don't know if Netflix is going to give me a special But if they do I'm starting back like rocky did I'm going to that fourth wall every night to do five minutes To look at young comics eyes to see what they go through. You know, you said something very interesting And I hope this doesn't offend anybody You know you go to the rainbow I've been through the rainbow twice and both times I left it disgusted

Because I just saw people dressed up as musicians there That's what I saw. I didn't see Rudy saw as well. I didn't see anybody I didn't even and I how I know that I didn't see her a future Rudy saw is one there because of their attitudes I could I didn't see it in their eyes. I just saw guys wanting to be lemmy That's all every time I go in there. It's people wanting to be lemmy And you know to be good at this and to be where you are today You have to be So much in love with what you're doing and so clear headed

That's why, you know, they said something very interesting to Tony. I owe me He goes, so what are you guys like now? He goes? Well, what we did is three days after the tour ended We all got together and met and rehearsed one last time Because we never really got to talk on the tour. It wasn't like the old days You checked into a hotel and went to the holiday in and got a habit till eight o'clock Now you have a life you look at things differently and you go to your room and then a car picks us up and we drive separately to the fucking gig, you know

And at times I think that's bad, but at times I think that's great I don't want to hang out with 20 people when I do comedy. I don't want nobody there I don't want nobody there, you know, like I'm so focused in on whatever. I don't sell t-shirts at my show I could use the money you could use the money. I don't want to worry about it that in between shows I want to say hello to a couple people in between shows go back there and focus on my next show On my breathing and what I got to do and you know, put my feet up so my blood don't conglore me You know what I'm saying? Like there's so much preparation So, uh

I don't even know how we got in this conversation. It really doesn't fucking matter. But this this motherfucking weed is tremendous But I'm really I'm happy that you Explain to these young guys. I'll listen to this podcast that everybody does have a purpose Yep, you just have to it's not gonna fucking knock on your door It never does. No, but usually it's that voice in your head. It's that voice in your head and sometimes you have to like shut the fuck up and listen to it and Those voices we're going to give you hints and ideas and and tell you little things

And once in a while, you're going to connect with one of them And that's going to be your purpose That's going to be the one that you're going to wake up every day of your life and fight for that purpose Or really you really have three voices in your head You have the good voice That tells you you could do this that you're better than that guy, you know Every comic could tell you why did you become a comic because I was sitting there one night and a comic came on I go, hey, I'm better than this guy. I could do this and the story, you know

You have the other voice that tells you that you'll never have a mountain nothing That you'll never be that good. So why are you going to try it anyway? And then you have the other voice that's the voice of fear That tells you, you know what? Why are you even thinking about that? Stay on the couch Hang out on the couch. What's tv? City with your girlfriend. That's that's it. This is what you do. You know what those those last two are They're barely their cousins. I don't have them no more. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have them Eventually you just beat them down

Yeah, yeah eventually don't even show up to the neighborhood no more Because they know that they're not going to win even if they team up with somebody. That's right Even if they team up with somebody Yeah, if somebody comes to me and says, hey man, I'm having a fucking party tomorrow night At 8 30, you got to be there. Guess what? I got to show it a f you know what I'm saying? Like yeah, and that's the correlation you got to met the weak side of you go fuck comedy and fuck the show I'll go to a party. You know what I'm saying? That's the sucker side of you. Yeah. Yeah, and then the fear side of you Will fuck and convince you not to go to the party for the dumbest reasons in the world

The good voice is the one that beats everybody. Yeah with three or four words. You didn't even say much. Yeah, you know That's the voice that you have to learn to listen to absolutely and that's the last one We want to listen to and like for me. Well, just hearing you guys say that and what's what I think I need to work on is Realizing which voice is talking to you because they all sound the same As weird as that sounds They can all be as convincing and you kind of have a no no no the other two are convincing because that's you know The other two fear is the most convincing one That motherfucker will scare the pants out of you

And then your natural voice is the one that said wait when I go down to the rainbow for Nothing's gonna happen down there. You're gonna bring that and you're gonna go up with your guitar You're gonna do your two songs for five minutes a piece and you're gonna go home And in two weeks you find out that fucking Rudy was down there rehearsing for his new band looking for people and You know when you have a purpose or aka a dream Nothing gets in the way of it and that's the people that's the problem that people really really have That they start letting things get in the way of it

They they in fact they welcome things getting in the way of it. So I don't have to deal with it There's so many aspects that just not want to deal with 2018 I'm happy Rudy even brought this up. We're gonna come on here and talk about eye of guns and How they make them they get them to 100 hours a week and they make them Fucking sleep in the top bunk and shit We'll talk about that next time because this conversation try not to be better because There's a lot of people sitting in life. I think at times. I just stuck and it's not their fault really it's not their fault This around they got three people was stuck next to them. Yep. They got this they got that they got personal guilt

Well, I got a little who would take care of my mother your mother's fine Your mother was here 20 30 years before you got it right and she'll be 92 years here after your fucking gun You know, we all have these Excuses and fuck it Just go for who gives a fuck. It's your life Who gives a fuck If you don't do it your way, it's not gonna, you know I don't give a fuck. I'm happy. I did. You know, I was thinking this christmas. I had a good christmas with my daughter

She's about to be five. You know, we had a great time But a certain christmas sticks out in my mind the pictures that you saw Lee from christmas 94 When I told Lee I had my other daughter the one that's 28 now the one that we don't talk And I thought about that christmas how I had a robber christmas tree Rudy had a robber christmas tree. I'm a lot. I've done that and take the money that people left Somebody left cash. I took the money and I came back a year later and paid it back I had to put duct tape on that fucking thing, you know

And I think about and this is the truth. It goes back to magnify. I had to give up a life for a life I gave up being a father So I could be a comedian. It sounded weird. Does it sound weird to you? The same thing I sacrificed For that. Yeah, a lot of people might say, well, you walk the wedding and do nothing I paid my child support. Check it out. Go to court. I give you the fucking numbers I tried to be in touch. It just didn't work and at the end of the day now I see what I see is

You know, my life for their life. I gave you her life I gave up being a father 20 years ago For this career of comedy. Yeah until this day if I didn't tell you it pains me it pains me This time if I say if I had a second chance, I wouldn't have done it even with The things that I reached the movies and doing tv and the comedy. I still say I wasn't worth it But what would I be today? I would still be snorting coke and boulder and have dead You know, so yeah, I didn't have a child, you know with any of my girlfriends, but I did give up on

Having a family because like I mentioned before I don't want to drag My wife through all the sacrifices all the shit that I had to go through You know to get to where I'm at today. I was going to do it alone. Nobody else was going to be You know punished by being with me. So I did it by myself, you know and 36 years ago Christmas I was sleeping on the floor I woke up. I sang happy birthday to jesus

I told I had But I was I was destitute. I didn't have any money was 1980 81. I know 80 80 80 1980 37 years ago net 37 christmas ago I gotta tell you My gift was peace I've been making peace with god

That I found my purpose I didn't know how I was gonna it was gonna wind up happening but At that moment, I was more sure than ever that I was gonna be a musician for the rest of my life Nothing, you know, no alternatives. No plan B. Nothing That was my gift the best gift I've ever received For christmas in my whole life or ever having the peace of mind with god And every christmas I think about that

It's a beautiful thing So when you're in the podcast, happy new year to you really happy new year If you have not watched hired guns on netflix You are fucking not getting an education And it's just coming from a point of view of someone who's not like a music fan from all the bands They were speaking of I found it very interesting. That was interesting as shit. Yeah, you know, it's really interesting that is trending It was like every night. It's like top, you know, number one or two most popular and trending

So it must really be connecting with people out there. Oh, yeah, you know, no Anyway, let's end this motherfucking podcast. I can tell you guys the beginning of the show listen When I was working for a sports betting service one december, I made a ton of fucking loot like 60 grand Because bolsey december is the biggest month for sports that there is Got pro hoops. You got the beginning of college hoops. You got the college bowl. You got pro football playoffs You got hockey. I mean, if you're gonna make a little fucking gear this this is time of the year to make a gear this Tonight there's a bowl. I forget what bowl is tonight The something bold and tomorrow night there's another I mean, come on if you're gonna make money bowl season here

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But you don't have to take it my word for it. Check them out yourself They got odds on every matchup as well as every game Live betting on all this season's nfl and bowl games But what i'm gonna do is this for you is this Join today today get ready for this weekend is your fucking weekend. You keep crying. You got no money You need a suit. You want your dick sucked, but you're only getting 200 I'm telling you how to pick up tonight. You bet you pick up fucking saturday sunday morning And you can see the columbian. You can do whatever the fuck you want go to my bookie and we'll match your deposit

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But if you consider what the fucking what was the last time you Scratch your fucking balls and sniff them. What was the last time ladies? Your finger banged yourself and smelled that fucking onion They're in the day that onion gets fucking stinky and so does your nut sack and you take your shit and you combine everything Guess what it smells like down there a fucking zoo. You don't need that in your life. What you need Is hello tushy.com. You're like joy. What's hello tushy? It's a fucking portable bidet Did you see a bunch of them a bunch of people tweeted him yesterday? How good and fucking I mean that beautiful one that takes 15 minutes You don't even need a plumber. You could do it yourself. I did it myself and i'm a fucking idiot

And guess what happens once you install this your life will change Rudy you won't leave the house I won't even see you won't even come on the podcast no more You'll call up and I'll go rudy you're not coming over. No because i'm sitting on my hello tushy bidet I grew up with bidet and two for every home and have an energy day Little hot water hitting your ass. Where are you gonna go? What's the rush tell us? Tell us you the way the way the 20 years time to go get teeth and get back to me If you want to clean ass in 2018 it all starts with a fucking bidet a portable bidet

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Be safe on new year's eve and we'll see you back here new year's day eight o'clock tip top magoo ready fucking mushrooms acid My sugar the pills Fucking the stars at that. We're gonna let me he's healing right now league. You know, he's got the bronchitis. He's on the pills But fucking january 1st. We're coming out of your vengeance. I love you guys Thank you for all the support and the love have a great new year and we'll see you guys on monday

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