Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #553 - Sin Quirin

Episode Date: January 25, 2018

Sin Quirin, a musician who plays and writes for the band "Ministry" as well as multiple other musical projects, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: 
MeUndies.com Go to meundies.com/JOEY for 20% off of your order of a pair of MeUndies Matching Pair underwear with free shipping in the US and Canada.   Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order and stop using nasty toilet paper forever!     Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.     Recorded live on 01/23/2018.
  

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It's not your breath. It's not the look on your face because love is love It's not the order of your armpits. Maybe your asshole just stinks so bad That it's creeping out of your sweat pants. Oh, you ever haven't asked smell that bad You've been sitting there reading the paper on the training. It's my your own ass. I've been there I know you have because you eat that hum of shit That's is why you need a portable bidet and how old to she's there To serve that fucking asshole of all its cleansing purposes. You asked me Joey. What is up a portable bidet? Like I just said you hook it up to your bathroom

You don't need a plumber. It takes 10 minutes unless you're a fucking half of my mom And you know what your future is filled with an asshole. That's fresh and clean at all hours of the day Even if you go to the gym and you sweat up a little bit You know time to jump in the shower you sit on that bidet You take that shit of debt and then you let that water hit your asshole Tip top Magoo you dip the nut sack in there to give it another once over So the balance of the sweat doesn't hit your nut sack You towel it dry with a me on these towel not a me on these towel a hello to she towel and you're ready to rock and roll

But though for all this happened for this fantasy to unfold you got to go to hello to she dot com right now They've got bidets that come in all different colors And they started $69 with a 60-day money back guarantee who's better than you Lee and I have had one for years And it's with staying the stinks of our asshole You're a decent person. It would stain the stinks of your ass. So so go to hello to she dot com right now and press in Church and get 10% off your bidet kick that motherfucking mule Lee Kick it Lee the church what's happened now motherfuckers You goddamn fucking right

Because the times are rising and they're seed coming in A storm's up through it Oh shit I did it It's a church what's happened now motherfuckers My man said the ministry the Christ killer and nothing but fucking love Oh Oh

It's the church coming at you, motherfuckers. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. Uncle Joey here with his main man, Sin Quirin. Sin Quirin. Quirin. Let's do Quirin. Close enough.

Close enough. And my main man, the Christ Killer, still recovering from Austin, Texas. The queso's been coming out of his asshole by the ounce the last two days. It's been coming out everywhere. But that's what he gets. I told him, don't go to Chewie's.

You did not say that. You did not say that. Don't go to Chewie's without Alka-Seltzer, right? You did tell me I should get some yogurt on the way back and I had to do that. Yeah, because the microbiology of stomach, intestines are ready. Why do you think I could eat a fucking bicycle? I could eat a bicycle, nothing else.

How do you know that already? Because I've eaten a half a bicycle in time. No, because you got to take care of your stomach, a little compucha, a little yogurt from time to time. I had no idea. Sure. Without the fruit, don't be a half a fag. What's going on, my man?

Talk to me, baby boy. Rockin' and rollin', man. Fuckin' ministry. Yeah, man. The Kings. Yeah. 1992 destroyed Lollup and losing the whole fucking day. Absolutely, yeah.

And they've been together since like the 80s or something. Early 80s, like 81, 82. And you're a kid listening to this stuff going. Yeah. One day I was like, I mean, I was in high school, man, when I first heard ministry and, you know, I was always like, fuck, I wish I could be in a band like this. I wish I could be in a band like this.

And it's fucking crazy how life happens, man, and how shit turns out. Now, when was the first time you joined the band? How old were you? I was, let's see, it was 2000, late 2005. So I was like 36. That's the first time you joined the band? Not the band, a band.

Oh, no, no. Oh, a band? A band? Dude. Before that, I mean, you know, little garage bands, but like the first band that like I actually played out like the whiskey and shit like that, I was 18. Yeah.

What was the name of that band? Rampage. No shit. Yeah, dude, this was 1987, 1988, something like that. And the fucking height of the sunset strip. Oh, dude, it's when, you know, it was like, there were more people on the sunset strip outside on the street than in the clubs. Like it was just jam packed and you would see just all the cats from every band just

out there flying, passing out flyers because that's how you did it back then is, you know, there's no internet. It was just like word of mouth and it was you were out there flying, just handing flyers out. You know, every Friday, Saturday night, the sunset strip from like, from the whiskey to gazaris, which was what, you know, what the key club turned into. It was just jam packed every weekend. Yeah.

And what was it like during the week with the bands? It was still bands playing. Yeah. But like the weekend was when it was just, it was fucking mayhem out there, man. You know, I've been here for 20 years and I bump into people from time to time, you know, I don't remember their names. Just interesting people in a building. Yeah.

And you've asked them like, when I lived on sunset, there was a chick that lived on the second floor. This is 98 and she had been there already for 20 years. So I asked her, I go, how was it this? Because when we got there, there was hookers still on sunset. Yeah. By Kersan and 7-Eleven, there was still hookers. That hamburger stand that they made famous in that movie.

Fast Times? What? All American burger. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy used to bring his hookers. There. Right there to the hamburger joint on sunset. It's not even there no more.

I don't even know where it used to be. What would he do with them at the hamburger place? At the hamburger joint. Right out on Sunset Boulevard in the fucking right in the open. Two in the afternoon, three black chicks, an Asian chick, and a chubby white chick with blonde there. Right outside there. And he'd be sitting there eating fucking burgers all day.

Sending bitches out right from there. You know how many times I walked past that? I mean, the last, the first two years I was here, it was open. No, it was there, but it wasn't open. That's what I meant to say. The building was still there, but it wasn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she was just telling me, like, we lived on, not Schrader, Gardner, between El Compadre

across in the Guitar Center. And she was outside pointing at places one day. You know, we were telling the story here that that garage behind that place, Ralph, he may lived there. And in that hallway, Matthew McConaughey rented garages, even after he was huge. Wow. He would work on his cars and Ralph, he would torture him. She's like, that guy's a punk.

Up the corner. If you go up the corner on Gardner, and you make that sharp right into those garages, she's like garage number fours where guns and roses lived. Some weird shit that they had in that. And then she just started pointing out places. Faster Pussycat, this name, that name, who hung out there. In fact, that's right across from the Sunset Grill, where fucking Don Henley wrote the song with the Eagles.

I don't know. So it's such an interesting fucking neighborhood that I wish somebody did a ten hour documentary on and showed from like what was happening in 77 to I can't imagine, you know, I'm in Jersey. I'm a fat fucking Jersey snort and coke. And Motley Crue had taken over the airwaves. I can't imagine what they were doing here. Yeah, dude, in like 82, 83, when they were playing like the whiskey and fucking Starwood

and Gazaris and shit like that. I mean, it was just, it was all those bands that became huge were local guys that were just in that Hollywood L.A. scene, just all up and down Sunset Boulevard and shit like that. So it was crazy back then, man. And I caught the tail end of that. You know, I wish I would have been there when I was like, you know, in like 80, 81, when they were, you know, doing that circuit, I caught like 83, 84 is when I started to go

down to the Sunset Strip when I was like, you know, 13, 14 years old and shit. But I mean, I did, I got to see a lot of those fucking bands that ended up being fucking rock stars, you know, fucking Motley Guns N' Roses. Dude, I remember being in like junior high, maybe early high school and talking to my friends and it's like, Oh, who's playing this weekend? It'd be like guns and roses at the fucking troubadour again. Like, you know, it was almost like whatever we already saw him, like, you know, what else is happening?

Like, that's how fucking crazy it was. And you look back on it now and you're like, holy shit, like we were seeing these fucking like, you know, guys that turned into legends back then. That first time was already out? No, wasn't out yet, man. 84, no. Wasn't out yet. No, no.

Wasn't out yet. They were on the run. Who was big then? Like Motley? Motley was huge. Motley, uh-huh. Motley's first record was already out. Faster pussy cap, weren't they from?

They were a little after that. They were local guys in that era, but yeah, I used to see fast pussy cap at the country club and the troubadour and the whiskey and all that shit. Yeah. I saw like poison. I saw all of those LA bands, man. Like I remember being at a fucking signing like for poison because the some girl that I was dating at the time was big into them and I went with her to the signing and it

was like 80, I don't know, 83, 84, something like that. And it was when they'd just gotten signed. So I got to see all those, all those cats, you know, it was crazy, man. I mean, to think back now, and it's so different now, a lot of those clubs aren't even there. Like the coconut teaser, which the club used to play at all, we used to play at all the time. That was on Laurel Canyon? No, right on Crescent Heights and Sunset.

Right on the corner. Right when you made the, well, right on the corner. Right on the corner. Right on Laurel Canyon. Right on the right. I did comedy there. Yeah. Really?

Sure. You had to go there like on Tuesday nights. That was, that was one of the clubs that I got like signed out of. Like the first, my first band, I got a record deal. Like we were playing like the teaser and shit like that. And it was, now this is like when the, the new metal thing started happening and we would play with like bands like System of a Down, Cole Chamber, Static X, all those new metal bands and we got signed at the tail end of that corn.

We were like the last, I think, I always joke, we were like the last fucking band to get signed from that scene. And this is Rampage? No. This is now a band called Society One. Society One. Yeah. This is now like in the late nineties.

This is like 97, 98. And how long did you work with them for? About six years. And then you bumped into Howell? We had the same booking agent. So my band, my old band, Society One had the same booking agent as ministry and we had a mutual friend, this guy, Paul Raven, who was a bass player in a band called Killing Joke.

So he knew Al. And he's the one, those two guys kind of introduced me to Al, like in 2003 or something like that. And they were like, you know, if you need a guitar player, call Sin. And I remember meeting Al and he's like, yeah, I'm going to call you, I need a guitar player. And like two years later, he fucking calls me and he's like, I need a guitar player for his other band called the Revolting Cox. And this is like 2005 now.

And so I came in to the Revolting Cox as just a guitar player. And we were, it was the Revolting Cox and ministry going on tour in 2006. So you guys were opening for ministry, basically. Correct. Yeah. And Al was doing double duty because he was singing for Revco for Revolting Cox and ministry. And during that tour is when Al and I became like close and we start talking about music and all kinds of shit.

And he was like, man, he goes, I want you to help me, you know, write the next ministry record. And so ministry went to Europe after that US run. When they got back, he flew me to El Paso, Texas, which is where he was living at the time. And I went out there with my little fucking task cam four track recorder with some riffs and and he was like, you know, let me hear what you got. And so I played him, you know, one of my riffs and he's like, all right, you know, it sounds

killer. He's like, let me know what is done. And he splits. So I'm in the fucking studio with this engineer that I just met. And I just fucking finished this tune and called him when it was ready. And that's how that record happened. This record called the Last Sucker. And I ended up writing like half of that record with him.

And I was honestly just like hoping one of my riffs would end up on a fucking ministry record. That's all I was like really hoping for. And I ended up doing like half that album with him. And that was 2006 and been here ever since I can't fucking get rid of me 11 years. Yeah. And this is a band that spans what three decades. Yeah.

Yeah. That is just. So are you one of the newer members? I'm considered one of the newer members, even though I've been with them since 2006. But I've been with him. Me and the keyboardist, JB John Bechdel, have been with him the longest. So yeah. Like we've had, it's sort of turned into like a spinal tap with drummers.

And you know, we've had a bunch of drummers and we've had different bass players and shit like that. But JB and I have been with him now since 2006. You know, as you've seen when you came in, it was all the old circus that somebody gave me. We were talking about how in the 70s and 80s, you didn't have the internet. So you had to buy circus and there was another one. Hip Parade.

Hip Parade. Because I'm not a big Rolling Stone guy. Me either. It was more for foo foo type people. I've always liked music. I've always loved music. I love the A's, B's and C's of it. I love the promotion, the smoke, the glitter.

I like who shouldn't have glitter. I'm one of those guys. But the thing that's always intrigued me the most has been the writing process. The writing process on music is something that I can never even fathom. I have a hard time writing this stupid fucking joke. Never mind, but see, over the years from the documentaries that have been out and stuff like that, you learn how things get put together. You go away for six months and come back with riffs and you send them to the drummer who

writes the lyrics and then he sends them back to you and it's this process. But then you go into the studio and something else gets added in there by coincidence and it's just like comedy, isn't it? It's taking two or three variables, figuring them out for what they are, putting them together and then at the end, they all come out the same flavor. Music is always, like I said, I would have gone the musician route but I was such a fucking hell on wheels, I would have sold my guitar eight times and when the cops are looking for you, it's tough to have a guitar.

Tough to have a guitar, you know, beyond the run. It's tough for a getaway with a guitar. Man, look out with a guitar. That's it. He's got a guitar. Yeah. Now, I hear you though. That's one of the things that interests me the most is not only the live, the performance

part of it, which I love. That's just one of the ultimate highs for me is the performance. But I get the same rush from creating music and from knowing, okay, I'm going to write a song or we need to do an album or something, right? And it's like, you know, at the beginning of that day, you have nothing written. There's nothing in front of you, right? And by the end of that day, you know that you're going to have like a blueprint of something. And it's something that I wish like there was like a formula or there was something

that I could say to people, do this, this, this, and this, and you're going to write a song. I don't know what that is. What that is? Nobody really knows. I don't know. You got the Gene Perrette book yet? Did you get it in the mail?

I did. Yeah, I almost had it. Did you look through it? I haven't yet. No, I just came. No. When you first looked through it, it's going to look like Chinese. Really?

You might as well get a Chinese book and call me up and go, Joe, go fuck yourself and hang up because it's drills. It's a lot of chili chatty. You know, when you look to write, you read as much as you can about writing. And then one day you come to the conclusion that you could just read so much, it's just fucking time to write. Just write. Just shut the fuck up and write.

That's what you're doing. I want you to give me your schedule for the week. And from eight to 10, you got to write. Then from 10 to 12, you're going to do jumping jacks. Then from 12 to one, you're going to fuck the wife. Then from one to five, you're going to write again. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Like I finally realized after 15 years that you have to put writing, whether it's music, comedy, it's always in blocks, you know, like musicians is something else. You guys, studio time is expensive. You ain't got time to fuck around. Once you get in there, it's all the problems and you got six weeks and the record labels playing for this. And at the end, it comes out of your eye. So I was actually, I was wondering, because with comedy, the comedians will try out bits

and they evolve over time. Am I wrong or do songs? Are they just out when they're out? Like, you don't really get to like workshop them at all. No, I mean, we don't, that's an interesting point. We really don't get to sort of, you know, use a crowd as guinea pigs, because I mean, in the sense that we write a song and then it goes on a record or we perform it. And at that point, we just, we kind of see if people are digging it or not.

But by that point in time, the song's already done. It's already written. It's already recorded. It's already whatever. So we kind of just, it just gets put out there. And you know, so yeah, we don't really get to, sometimes, you know, depending on how much shit they're throwing at us, we can tell if they dig it or not, you know. You know, you read about these are, you know, these people who like Black Sabbath recorded

volume four and eight hours in the studio, you know, one day, shit like that. You sit there going, Jesus fucking Christ, that's so crazy. And I know they had it written before they went in there, you know. But it's interesting what Lee said, because, but I do know one thing. I'm not a musician. And I knew, I do know when I write 10 jokes, all right, I know there's two of them in there, they're going to get me somewhere. Okay.

The one that I'm banking on to get me somewhere, that one duds three times. But the one that was okay, really gets a good laugh and I got something to go with it. I always knew it. I just didn't really focus on it. I focused on that one because I was, I think in the studio, after you've laid your A tracks down, you know what I mean? You play it, you know if there's magic or you know if there's no magic. That's what it's always appeared to me.

There's too many musicians who are fucking perfectionists. There's such perfectionists that they couldn't even keep their band together. They annoy everybody. Staying there. You know, the guy from Pink Floyd, there's so many guys that are perfectionists. What do you know, the record label, the record label, tell you whatever you want to hear. They just want to get their investment back. They just want to recoup their investments and they'll tell you whatever the fuck you

want to hear. It's that 19 year old assistant that sees you and sperm comes out of his mouth and says that latest kite you sent is fucking brilliant. But on top of all that, you guys know in the studio, there's something that has to, it's very true, very true. I see it in all the documentaries, in the 50 years I've been listening to music. This is something I've always thought about. So you do it or, or you, like during Ozzy's tour, the first one, they were playing Flying

High again. They played like two songs from the album that was already written and recorded basically. They were doing that. Sometimes that happens. Of course. When you're on tour and you might put out two songs just to see which people always get pissed off by the way. Of course, yeah.

Good song. You're rocking and rolling. And all of a sudden this guy wants to do a tear jerk and go fuck yourself. All right. Cause you thought about your mom and the toilet. I don't give a fuck. Keep going and then at the end on your time, go inside and serenade those fucking bimbos that want to hear that shit.

Let me open the door a second. Well, the question I have then is because I think you're probably right and then I think it would be different for a comedian like Joey versus someone who just started. But like for your early bands, did you know what was magic? Did you ever have an album that you're like, this is going to kill and then it didn't go as well? Yeah. No.

I mean, it's very true in the sense that you can usually tell what has that magic and what you think is going to do well and go over well. You're not always a hundred percent right with that. Sometimes we think, you know, shit, this is the one like this fucking tune is going to go over great. And it's the one that you're kind of like, eh, it's just kind of a throwaway. It's there. It's cool.

But so that it does surprise you sometimes. But for the most part, you know, when we're in there, we're always kind of just looking at each other going, yeah, this fucker has it. This is the one. This is the one. Something. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just something that it's really hard to describe it, but it's this kind of electricity. You feel with it. With the magic you feel with, you know, when you've recorded it and you're listening back to it that, you know, it's going to fucking do something. But that's why I've always hated radio. Part of me has hated radio. Radio is for people who have one hit wonders. Radio should be for people who sang one song and that's what that was it.

Because why would you play living after midnight till I'm fucking 90 and you never play. You don't have to be old to be wise. Right. Exactly. That's the best song. Yeah. Which is so many other tracks that are fucking amazing. It drives me fucking crazy radio because of that reason.

And it's like, I like the whole secret of buying for years and I wanted to pitch a show about Saturday mornings, what we did as children, you know, guys like you mean to this children, we had a fucking stupid paper round or you carried rocks for your father, whatever you fucking did for three or four bucks a week and we decided on an album and we'd walk from that water village to fucking somewhere and we went and bought an album, couldn't wait to come back and listen to it and we listened to it front and back three times before we went out and laid our opinion and it was just great because and everything that you bought and expected to listen to, you found the gem, you found something that you fell in love

with even more for the song that you originally bought it for. Exactly. When I bought Sabotage for example, you like Sabotage? Of course. I bought it for Hold This Guy. Yeah. And I liked the album cover, how it looked, thrill of it all, the first song on the other side has turned out to be my more time favorite Sabotage song of all time, tight to Sabot

Bloody Sabbath, but it's so weird, I like that. Yeah. Absolutely. And whatever album I bought the song for, there's something else on the second side that's going to fuck your world up. We didn't tell you about it. We wanted you to buy the album. Let the radio keep pumping this heartache tonight bullshit.

Exactly. And on the other side of the last run, you got the Greeks don't want no freaks. Exactly. It's true though man, I mean with every record that I own, that's the case. You hear something, oh okay, well here's the single or here's what they're promoting and pushing, but there's always one or two tracks, like the deep cuts that you're just like fuck man, this is cool as shit. And that stuff will never get played on the radio.

You'll never hear it like, you know what I mean, being promoted and shit like that. So I miss that kind of shit from back in the day, like getting the record and it's exactly, it was for me dude. It was like fucking going to Music Plus and Glendale on my bike dude. Nobody would fucking do it Sid. I know. We get a different musician every Saturday, 12 episodes, go to the favorite record store in Nick and their hometown, fly to Mississippi, go buy a vinyl and let's put it on and describe

the whole process first of all, your mother wasn't home, your mother was at your aunt's house playing cottage. So if it was a double album or the album opened up, you could roll a joint and clean the seeds out. You know what I'm saying? I mean it was such a fucking process. Did you guys have like a ritual every week? It was a ritual.

Yeah. It was a ritual. It was a ritual pretty much if you had a day job and you made whatever for four, fifteen hour, every Saturday you bought it out and you stopped at Burger King, got the chicken sandwich and you stopped at the Kung Fu store and looked at the stars, it was just part of it. Let me tell you something else. I don't give a fuck how many times Sid, I could pick up Sid and Sid would say to me,

I'm going to go up there and buy Neil Young and Crazy Horse live today. Why? Because I heard it and I'm like, okay, on the way home, guess what Sid will have? Judas Priest, sin after sin. Because when you went there, something about the album covers grabbed you. It was a fucking beautiful process that this country has really, all right, I like iTunes too. I like the idea of Sid calling me and saying, listen to this jam and me going on my phone

and pressing three buttons, but that's not what it's all about. I still, when I'm bored, do you know I go to Atomic? You like Atomic over there? Of course, fuck yeah. It's not on me, but it's coolest shit because it makes you work. You have to look through everything. You're going through the albums like the old days. This is reminding me of going to a video store.

That was my thing when I was a kid. That's a generation. That is. It's been awesome. Did anyone ever have like a rental place for albums? That would have been awesome for kids to go and find a place out. No. These fucking savages were ripped the album apart.

Dude, you realize I used to go through the fucking trash bin at Music Plus in Glendale just to get the fucking cutout, the album cutouts that they would throw away. That's how hardcore I was into records and albums and just staring at them. Do you remember reading every fucking thing on those things, dude? You know, I look at these albums that I have behind me and sometimes I buy the album just to show people how lucky we were, what we got to read. You know, I mean, some of them still have the original sleeves and some of them don't, but that sleeve was your thing for the day.

This is a noun that I never forgot. This was, I think, one of the most brilliant albums in the packaging. What the fuck is it here? God damn it. Boom. Boom. Dude. Okay, let's zapplin' in through the outdoor.

Final album came in a fucking bag. I know Pearl Jam did that too, Joey, yeah, but 29,000 fucking years later, okay? You bought the album, okay, into the outdoor. It came in a bag, okay. This is a special edition one, no big fucking deal, but it shows a guy at a bar, tremendous picture. There's the same thing about Led Zeppelin on there, all for the imagination. Same thing about Led Zeppelin on there, all for the imagination.

Same thing about Led Zeppelin on there, same thing Led Zeppelin on there, all for the imagination. They put as much time into the album cover as they did the music sometimes. But here's where it got beautiful. It got beautiful, well, somebody took it out of here, it got beautiful because the original sleeve to this album cover was a sleeve that was projected to be his last night, John Bonham's last night. Do you remember? A wet sponge, and you sponge that around, all the colors came out.

Who does that? Who designed these? Was it the band? Did they have an art designer at the label? Who had these? Whoever was the fucking genius in those days. I buy a CD of Ministry Now, I open it up, it's a page, the songs, they thank the dog, and that's it.

That's all I get. How many did they, I would love to know the percentage of, let's say 15 years ago you used to print 50,000 CDs, now is it 10,000? I would love to see how many, because you probably won't even print that many CDs anymore. Dude, a band like Ministry, which was a platinum selling act back in the day, in the 90s. Now it's like we're lucky if we sell fucking 50,000. Is that downloads? 50,000 downloads?

We don't sell records anymore, dude. People steal our shit. Even before the record's out, people already have our shit everywhere. It's a slippery slope there. It usually goes to the people that are manufacturing this, that are all thieves, and they steal the shit, and they just start, and a lot of it starts happening in Russia, is where we've seen a lot of it start. That's where most of the bootlegs start from, and it just starts to spread from there.

Dude, we don't sell fucking shit anymore, dude. Back in the day, this was a band that would sell a million fucking albums. Now it's like fucking not even nowhere near that. What was the big song? Jesus. Jesus built my hot rod. Jesus built my hot rod. Just one fix.

Yeah. I mean, that album, Psalm 69, huge. That was during the whole Lollapalooza. 92 era. Right, right. 92 era. It was a fucking, you were the blueprint for like Rob Zombie shit, like that, I felt like. Rob Zombie, Nine Inch Nails, like in Manson, all that shit.

Look at this shit. No, dude, I know. I know. They put effort into there. It was all part of the whole experience of getting a record, man. It was all of this stuff, dude. You believe this? That's crazy.

Yeah. A fucking poster. This is when you did the acid, and you forgot it was in there later on. Is that the original poster or no? Probably. Oh my God. It was all the issues, but that's what it was. Just the fact that they give you all these things, it gave you something, it gave you

something, it connected you a little bit more with what the fuck you were doing. Yeah. You know, I remember Van Halen buying 1980, one of those albums, not 84, and they would thank the Hilton's like all you guys would thank the hotel chain. So I knew when you came to town, that's when you were fucking stank. It was the fucking craziest thing. They would thank the Hilton and pictures of the tour. Covers were interesting.

I don't know why they shot the longest yard. They sent me a DVD, 20 of them, to give away to friends and shit. You opened it up and it was a page. There was a guy there every day with 22 fucking cameras, taking pictures. What they do with those fucking pictures? What they do with those fucking pictures? No. Nothing.

Show them to people. Give the people a little something extra. Wow. We get interesting, man. We get like an experience how it used to be. That was like, I mean, you know, when I was a kid and I would, the record that got me into playing rock was Kiss Alive. It was the first Kiss Alive record.

I was six years old. My older cousin, who was like 11 at the time, brought it over and, you know, I was into music because my parents always had it playing in the house and, but I'd never heard anything like that. So this is 75, dude. And so he brings it over and he shows it to me and I'm like, I remember asking him if they were superheroes because I was looking at the fucking cover and he goes, ah, they're fucking rock band.

Check it out. And so he drops a needle on the record. First song, Deuce comes on and dude, and I'm looking now it's a double live album with the booklet with all their live pictures and shit. And I literally, man, my life just completely turned upside down at that moment. And I was like, fuck, dude. Like I still get chills. I still live in those pictures and that dude.

And I remember telling my cousin, I was like, what's that? Who's that? And he's like, oh, that's ace. That's a lead guitar player. And I was like, that's what I'm going to do, man. At six years old, I told him that because of that whole experience of that record here in the music, looking at those fucking visuals, just reading everything, I was completely just fucking just engulfed in that.

I would come home when I had that album and I hung out with this family that they were a great family and the youngest kid was my friend and he had the album and I would listen to it at my house first while I was eating, like an after school sandwich and then I'd go play and then we'd go back to his house and we put it on the attic and we'd do the egg guitar. Of course. And it was funny. I told him that he brought, for years, Eddie Bravo would talk to me about Kiss and I would

kind of shun him off and he didn't understand why. What happened was, this kid and me, we had Kiss alive and the one after that, I want you. I want you. Rock and roll over. Rock and roll over. Was that the order? Yes.

Right. I remember we bought those two together. That's what we did on Saturday. In those days, you had to hide the album on the way home because you didn't want your own brothers or your friends to, so it was funny. I listened. I loved rock and roll over, but I really liked Kiss Alive and that was it. You put Kiss Alive on and you would scroll through the pictures.

Just fucking great pictures of us freely on the guitar. I can't even describe the word cool. You can't even go, well, he looked cool. No. He looked like a fucking guitar player with the makeup and how he was standing and it didn't make me fall in love with the guitar. I mean, it felt in love with Kiss, but you know what happened, bro? That kid died in a car accident.

I took Kiss Alive and I took rock and roll over and I put it in his casket for a week and I promised I'd never be into Kissing and I took Kiss 30 fucking years to listen to Kissing. And I hope that he forgives me in heaven, but that's the deal with me and Kiss. I loved Kiss early on, but they took my whole Kiss fucking hair from me and everybody buried him with Kiss Alive. I'm like, I don't know how many, Kiss probably had three albums at that time, 78, four. Yeah, they'd had three before the live record.

Right, so three live and then rock. So that's why I was never into Kiss, but I still remember those pictures and how dark they were. Man. The photography was fucking amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

You just wanted to jump on your skin and go, that guy is so fucking badass. Yeah. Dude, I mean, you're seeing fucking pictures of Simmons with the blood in the fire. Oh my God. He looked like Lee. He looked like Lee with the bun before. Lee was doing a Simmons impersonation here a little while ago. I am Jewish.

You're all right, Lee. Take a paper towel and spin it again real quick. Just to give me peace of mind, not to goof on you. No, I think I'm okay. Just filter it. No, no, no, no, no. Dog, I was okay too, because that's why I started with a Paraquat. I'm good.

Okay, you sure? I think I might have to go to the doctor just to check it out anyways, but I think I'm okay. No, I know you'll be at the, if I know anything about you. Tomorrow. You'll be at the doctor at 8.01 a.m. If I know anything about him, you've never seen a Juhana to contract like I got. You know what I'm saying?

A chick touches his shoulder. He goes for an STD touch. But she was a hooker. It kind of got through my skin. Lee, it doesn't matter. You can never be too safe, Joe. You can never be too safe. Next thing you know, walking around with a fun guy toenail and shit.

And that's why the horse meat thing is crazy, because I'm crazy about, I'm not saying I eat the best food, but I'm crazy about like raw chicken. I don't do any like that. The eggs. I don't do no off the radar restaurants knock it off. You know what an off the radar restaurant is anything that your girlfriend wants to go eat. That's an off the radar restaurant anyway, fuck.

The Gene Simmons. No, no, no. Just the whole, the whole album thing. I miss it now. And that's why. When I got the record player for Christmas, you know, my home is Omibar. But who's got the time? Yeah, I know.

Who's got the time to go to Omibar for kids? It's four hours, Uncle Joey, because you find 20 things you want, then you find 10 things that you really want. And now you're walking around with 30 pounds of albums, decide which 10 you're going to put back and you still drop the 800 every time I go to Omibar, I drop 300. 300. Yeah. So you're like magicians, bam, 300.

Every time I go to Omibar and you're going to stand online and you're going to get tortured, there's still 300. So if you were single, you'd get like, you'd take a couple out of those and spend your entire day there. Because like I've been there and I see the professionals coming and they zip through those things. No, you have to have time to go to Omibar. You don't know how many times I go to Omibar with no glasses on and I'm happy.

Like I forgot my glasses. Thank God. I'll get the assistant asking if he's got it. The assistant. Don't you get the fuck out of here because if not, dog, I'll sit there with the fucking things. I used to live three blocks from Omibar and I found shit on Omibar. I did.

That's a process there, man. It's a process. Yeah. But I'll tell you it was the type of shit I found. Yeah. I went looking on eBay and the cheapest, this is after the kid's mother has stepped on the album, you know, they lit the cover on fire, two songs were missing. They wanted a hundred bucks for the album.

I went to Omibar and I got the DVD for the small 9.99. I wanted the vinyl. Yeah. You're not going to find the vinyl for less than fucking 10,000. So, you know, shit like that. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Okay.

You wanted the vinyl. Joey, you're a traitor. No. I wanted to hear the fucking music. That's what I wanted to hear. And I still have my parents vinyl from the 60s. Like I have my dad's old animals records and stones, like original pressings, man. Yeah.

It was a different gauge before I think like maybe 78, the gauge on an album was different. Let me tell you something. You can put it in the sun all day and that motherfucker didn't melt. All some one day, leave an album in the car for one day, you got a Frisbee. You got a fucking little Frisbee. Shoot him, man. Those old records are like. That's fucking thick as a fucking, that's how you know, that's how I know because the

gauge, yeah, or maybe it does to me. Maybe I don't know. I'm talking maybe. No, it's true. Feels a little thicker, super thick on the old ones, man, and it's a lot lighter on the newer ones. Do you ever think about like what would have happened if you had kept all those records, Joey?

Like the money they'd be worth or no? I gave them to somebody. I gave them to somebody who I'm still in contact with. Oh, Jesus. And part of me always wants to say, you don't listen to that shit no more. You got kids now. But the other part of me says, how can I do something like that? How can I do something like that?

She's going through some happy right now and her and I weren't dating. We never dated. We were just music friends. I shopped with all those albums anyway. I used to go to Pathmark. So it's a pure profit. If there was 200 albums in there, I clipped 100 of them. Oh my God.

The other 100 I legitimately sweat for because it was, you guys didn't see, everybody got fucked in the ass because I got fucked in the ass between. We had all things. They were pushing all three things on us still. The eight track, the cassette and the fucking album at the same time, at the same time, the eight track was getting absolved. But the cassette was still coming on strong with the album. So you could buy a cassette for your car, but that wasn't the same as having the experience.

That's the fucking experience. That's why right now I really don't give a fuck if Netflix gives me a special anymore. I really don't because I'm going to put on the experience on an album. I'd rather put it on vinyl rather than give me the inside pictures, lyrics, the whole bit man. The fucking tattoo. There was a band who gave you a tattoo. Kissed that.

Kissed that. See? Cheech and Chong gave you a rolling paper. You know, everybody took care of you in those days right now. I missed that. I don't mind. And you know how much albums were there at that time? $6.99?

Mm-hmm. We're a fucking hour. I paid six. If you bought an album, like let's say you went to Sam Goody, Glendale Music. Yep. What was the one on Sunset Strip? A tower. Tower.

Yeah, you paid the $5.99 was taxed. But if you went to like a place that was down the block from here, some hippie ran in. He just had it so you could smoke dope and sell records. He charged you $750. Give him the $750. What do I give a fuck? He's trying to make a living. He didn't even play the album for you.

Oh yeah. I had one of those guys. They put it on. Absolutely. Yeah. So could you damage, like with CDs, you can scratch them, tapes though, the tape can come out. How do you ruin other than heat?

Can you ruin an album? It melts. So that's the only way it can get, like you're not going to scratch it or... Let's say if you put it somewhere, it bends. Jees. Like something like what I'm doing right there, that's not good. Okay. Because your album will bend.

Oh. People will come over here with professionals and go, excuse me, they all will bend. I got them in a milk crate which keeps them straight. Yeah. You know, but no, no, there's people who are dickety, wickety, dickety about their album. I don't blame them though. That's how it be. Wickety, dickety, fickety covers.

See, if I knew what I knew now, I would have saved everything. I would have had millions. I had albums at the original, you know, sabbath bloody sabbath original releases. I had all that shit original release with the lyrics, the fucking, the devil in you windows. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Hold on one second.

Let me do some shout outs. I got more fucking questions for you. Don't go nowhere. All right. Don't go nowhere. Mr. Willis, I love you, Randall, Nada Magen, Josh Haas III, Sy Thomas, Matt Manchester, Nicholas Taylor, Keviah Goon, and Kevin Glenn Cafe. I love you.

Cock suckers. All right. Don't forget this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, the Charlotte comedy zone. Yeah. I think about it for a minute. You know what I'm saying? It's been a couple of rough days. I'm getting flashbacks of Vietnam.

I was never there. Anyway, the comedy zone Charlotte, North Carolina, I'm ready to rock Rogan's in town at a different club. Fuckin' the UFC's there Saturday night. It's gonna be a rock'em, sock'em, motherfucking weekend at the UFC this weekend. All right, Charlotte. So I'll see you guys at the show Thursday night, Tip Topmagoo, eight o'clock. You're out of there by 10.30.

You're stoned to the gills. You go get a burger and you go home. You're ready for work on Friday. And the third week of February, I'm at the comedy works in Denver. Denver is coming out to watch comedy, so I'm letting you know now, bitches, this is gonna go quick. So do what you need to do, but don't forget, I don't give a fuck about nothing right now. All I give a fuck about Thursday night at the Charlotte comedy zone, all right?

Be there or be fuckin' square. You know, this podcast is about second chances and just people who were fuckin' made, did something that watched the journey, you know? You got these people who hit you up on Twitter and Facebook and they wanna do this and they wanna do that and they wanna do this and I understand what you wanna do, but you goin' on Twitter and Facebook ain't the answer, you gotta go do it, you know? You're a guy that grew up here in town, went down to that sunset strip, you know, got into this band from there, got into another band from there.

You fucked the drummer's girlfriend, so you gotta go to another band from there. You know what I'm sayin'? The life of a musician is really beautiful. You know, I'd like to sit all these professional musicians like yourself down and start from the day one. Like, I was in the band. I was in the band. We lip-synced.

We synced Michael Jackson, but here's the problem. I was good, the drummer was good, and the guitar player was good. The bassist had the electrical equipment. He was terrible, but he was the bassist, so one day we had to fire him, take everything. So now we were in good trio, but we had no sound. No gear. You know what I'm sayin'? That's a problem.

I've been there, man. So I love that journey, and this is a journey that's from a kid who listened to ministry. From somebody who listened to ministry. Did you ever pay to watch him? I did. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, this is from somebody.

You know, today I shot a scene with that lady Michelle Leo. I've been watchin' Michelle Leo since homicide. You know who it is, Lee? No, I think it's Melissa. Melissa Leo. You know who it is? Yeah, yeah. You see these people for 20 years, and one day there you are, standing next to you in

a room, talkin' about this and this and that, and somethin' that has nothin' to do with what you're doin', and you're like, if fuckin' nobody would believe me. Nobody would believe me that this lady's as nice as she is, and she just said, fuck you to one of the fuckin' people. It's... It's still, you know, it still trips me out, and it still happens to me, too. I'll be in the studio sometimes without, and we'll be sittin' like this, and he'll just look at me and he'll be like, well, you know, what do you think we should do here?

And I'm like, and it fuckin' like hits me, and I'm like, dude, you're really askin' me? Like, you know, my opinion, like it's still, cause I'm still like a fan, and it still takes me back to like, when I first saw the band, and to me it's like, it still doesn't seem real at times. We'll be on stage, we'll be on stage in fuckin' Europe, man, Poland. I remember this one particular time, there was 500,000 people in the crowd, right? And I'm up on stage with Al, and when we're playin' like, just one fix, one of the ministry

classics, and I'm up there, and I remember just lookin' over my left shoulder, and he's up at the mic, and he just kinda looked over me and just kinda winked, and for like a few seconds, it's like I wasn't there, and I was watching, like, myself. It was like kinda this weird out-of-body shit that went down, and I was like, what the fuck, is this really like, me, like am I really fuckin' doin' this, and then it just kinda felt like I just landed back in my body again, cause it was just so weird to be up there with like one of my heroes doin' it, like I'm in the fuckin' band, like it's still weird to this day, sometimes, it's like I don't really believe it, I'm doin' it, obviously,

but it's still fuckin' trippy, man. It would freak me out more if I didn't know what you were talking about. Yeah, you know what it's like, man. But think about a guy like me that at one time, I was in a cell next to a guy, you know? I was in a cell next to a guy watchin' stupid movies, you know, and then on Sundays, I'd watch football and stupid movies, and one damn stand next to Michael Irving doing the best damn sports show, you know, talkin' to him about nothin', wantin' to tell him, then next thing you know, I'm on stage in Vegas with Tim Allen for a whole fuckin' weekend

talkin' to Tim Allen, and finally the last day I got to tell him, hey man, you were the final push, when I found out you got locked up and made me really wanna go out there, he goes, you know, and then it's, I tell people to wait for the miracle to happen. It's such a fuckin', like how long were you out there fuckin' kickin' doors now? Dude, from the time I was 18 till, I mean, I slugged it out for about 12, 15 years in the Hollywood scene, dude, just being a local, just here, dude. Session musicians? Shit like that?

Yeah, everything. Everything, dude. Everything. And it was like, dude, I mean, there was no school for this, it was just the love of music that carried me. How'd you pay your bills? Dude, I did everything from fuckin' repohin' cars, to fuckin' working in mailrooms, to fuckin' telemarketing, to fuckin' whatever the fuck I had to do, to just pay my bills

and continue to do music. Like, I didn't, you know, I mean, I graduated high school, but I didn't go to college, like my parents split when I was about 13. The idea was I was gonna study music, and I was gonna go to like Cal Arts and fuckin' get a degree in music and shit like that. That didn't happen, my parents split, I had to work, I had to help my mom, because I'm an only child, so it was just me and my mom. So I had to like help her, and I knew that college just wasn't in the, you know, it just

wasn't gonna happen for me, yeah. So I was like, I need to work, I wanna do music, but I need to help my mom. So I always did whatever the fuck I had to do, man, job-wise, like I didn't give a fuck. And you know, I had to keep this dream alive of doing music, and I always knew, and it may sound weird to say, but I always knew something was gonna happen. I didn't know when, but I always felt it, and I don't know if it's just like, you know, how much fuckin' love and passion I had for music that sort of enabled me to not listen. Steal all everything.

Yeah, dude. You speed roll everything. Because, you know, everybody's telling you, oh, you're not gonna do shit, dude, you're gonna just fuckin', you know, you should just give up. Dude, I heard that my entire life was, you know, you should just stop, you're never gonna be, you're never gonna make it in a band, you're never gonna do this, you're never gonna do that. All the doors fuckin' slammin' in your face, dude, but it just, it was fuckin' blinders

me, dude, and I didn't listen to any of that shit, and I just kept fuckin' goin', kept goin', and it, you know, I mean, fuck, meetin' people and doin' things and fuckin' perseverance, dude, was key, and, you know, I mean, I've been lucky and blessed to have the fuckin' career that, you know, that I've had. I feel like the luckiest guy in the fuckin' world to do this. I always wanna do, like, I don't know what the percentages of comedians, but I always wanted to do a percentage rate for bands. Dude.

It's, it's, it's horrific, you've got a better chance of hitting the fuckin' lottery ten times than getting a band with four people to go all the way to the top. What's the top? For me, it's making great fuckin' music and sustaining, you know, that's a great band for me and sustaining, and sometimes, guess what, one of the three gets a little crazy, listen to the suit, listen to the suit, he's snorted too much glue on the tour, and the band breaks up and there's always two of the three guys still goin' and all of a sudden bam, there they are in something different, that's, I love it, I love all the whole aspect

of fuckin' music from beginning to end. The thing I couldn't imagine with is the band. I have a hard time being me, you know what I'm sayin'? I have a hard time something, oh god damn it, I got a fuckin' plan. I can't imagine doing that with six people. Yeah. It's very true, man, I mean, having, being in a relationship, okay, is, you know what that's like, now imagine adding another five guys to that, just the band, and everybody

trying to have the end result be the same, and everybody having the same goal. Dude, everybody's goin' like this, man, in different fuckin' directions, so it's a tough thing to keep that together, that's why, you know, this guy leaves, that guy leaves, but it's, it's a tough thing, man, and then to live, because you're basically living with these people on top of all of that, on top of the music thing, it's, you're living together when you're on tour, you're traveling, you're with them all the fuckin' time, dude, so it's not an easy thing, it's not like when you're a kid, you think about, I wanna be in a band, it'll be great.

Oh yeah, you don't see that. That's all you think about, man. That's all you think about, you know what I mean, but once you get in it, and you start to see the reality of all this shit, it's tough, man. I don't wanna be on the tour bus by myself, nevermind, we're four people, shit, fuckin' feet, noises in the middle of the night, I can't, I can't even, you know, I did prison, I did the halfway house scene, I went to summer camp, I always knew I wasn't cut out for fuckin' sharing bedroom with men, you know what I'm sayin'?

Are you saying that the tour bus is worse than prison? Ah, that's my boy here, after three weeks. It can be. They could get off a fuckin', listen to me, first off, you get off stage, you just did a great show, and now you're gettin' the fuckin' bus, alright, that drives all fuckin' night, you're in the back, you might have a few beers, you might go in your little thing, pull the curtains, if you think I could fall asleep with some guy driving a fuckin' bus, you're fuckin' crazy.

Who knows, maybe you'd love it, maybe you'd like, well, you'd sleep. Listen to me, I'm gonna help you out better than that. Alright, no. Listen to me. No, I don't trust nobody, and that was when there was no texting, I can't imagine texting now, I'm tryin' to go to sleep at night with a half a bag, and this guy almost hit a fuckin' mule in the middle of the night, and I go flying off the cliff, like the fugitive, what's that movie with fuckin' Harrison Ford?

Harrison Ford? Yeah, fuck you, I don't ever wanna be in a bus, you wanna take me from here to down the corner, let's go, shitty up, but that bust shit at night, that's brutal, you stop every couple days for a hotel room, and for a good night's sleep, not now. Maybe when I was 21, and I was doin' blow, and you gave me fuckin' Cosby pills, so I wouldn't think about the bus driver all night. Do you ever get scared on planes, though? Like, there was just...

I get scared on everything, Lee, I eat twenty stars before I go on a plane, did I not give you a fuckin' edible for one on the plane the other night? Five-thirty in the morning? Five-thirty in the morning, both ways, that's so I could fuckin', I could prepare you for a mortuary, you know what I'm sayin'? What's a mortuary? Mortuary? That's...

Fuck. Jesus. I've been lucky in that I've never been freaked out by flying and shit like that. You know I wouldn't get freaked out by flying. But, that being said, I had one flight we did going from, fuck, where we going from Australia to like South Africa or some shit, dude, I was, for the first time in my life, I was like, this is it, this is it, I was like, I was asleep, and I was in the last fuckin' row of this plane, and what woke me up was my head bangin' against the fuckin' side,

dude. And, dude, you know, it's a big ass plane, dude, and it just starts fuckin' goin' all over the fuckin' place, dude. And I'm like, okay, you know, it's turbulence, whatever, but this is, did not feel like any turbulence I'd ever felt before, I honestly thought we were just doomed. Women started crying, throwing up, dude, people like right next to me, throwin' up in the seats in front of them, like it was fuckin' brutal, dude, and it lasted, I mean, it felt like a couple minutes, which a couple minutes of that heavy turbulence feels like

fuckin' forever, dude. And we finally leveled out, people were goin' to the bathroom, like women couldn't walk, they were so freaked out and scared shit like that. And I was like, when we finally landed in Johannesburg, I was fuckin' like, kissin' the crown, dude. I was like, fuck, I don't ever want to get on another plane again. And the next day, we had to get on another flight from fuckin' Johannesburg to like fuckin' Sao Paulo, Brazil, or some shit, do another fuckin' like 10-hour flight and shit like

that, dude. It was fuckin' brutal. That's like the fuckin' craziest. I can't, I can't no more. Yeah, those are fuckin' brutal, dude. I don't want a passport, but I can't be on no plane unless you're playing six hours under. You're probably gonna have to go to like New York and then to London or something?

I just, I don't have the patience anymore for the flying, dude. I have, you have to be prepared to fuckin' like Padme your own movies. The whole bit, dude. The book, some drugs. Well, I've only done it in code twice, and it was not that fun, to be honest, to the people. It was the longest flight you've been on. To Israel, it was like 13 hours, I think, something like that, 12, maybe not 13, maybe

like 12. After eight hours, people start stinkin', though. Oh, dude. And they serve hummus, but like, I would imagine you guys, do you guys get to fly first class? Like, that has to be kinda cool for 12 hours. It's cool. It's cool, but it's still... Not 12 hours.

Not that cool. Not 12 hours. Not cool enough for that, yeah, dude. There's planes not in the rooms. Yeah. There's planes that are just phenomenal. That jet blew from fuckin' mint from New York to Boston, or New York to fuckin' JFK. It's a beautiful situation, if that's what you do.

If you're telling me that you're just gettin' off a fuckin' show and you're up all night, you get on mint blue at six, then it'll wake you up to 11.30. That's five hours of sleep part comes from. That's not a bad little fuckin' yes to that. Which is the secret. I can't sleep on a plane. Me either. That's the secret.

I can't either. If you could sleep on a plane, that's no one can drown me. Three whiskeys and a Xanax, that'd be no, no time. Is that considered sleeping, or just like passing out? Pass the fuck out, does it really matter? Whatever. Who gives a fuck? The little guy next to you touches your dick while you're sleeping, and you could fuckin'

charge him with international fuckin' dick touchin' and up in the air. Who knows, I don't know. The touring aspect of your life and Rudy's and anybody else who's walked into the studio has been those year tours. With a two-week break in between. That's crazy. Those are brutal, dude. That's crazy.

That second week, you're like, I don't want to go. You really start contemplating quitting the band, how much money you have in the bank, what's owed to you, how long can you live, you're like, I gotta go do this shit again with these lunatics. So you don't even get to spend the night in a hotel most nights? No, no, no. It depends. Down a bus tour?

Exactly. It's a fucking plane tour. Yeah, and sometimes it's a combination of both, like say we're doing a U.S. run for like six weeks or something, right? There will be times where we might have to fuckin' do a gig, go to the hotel for a couple of hours, our hotel lobby call is like 2 or 3 a.m., take us to the airport to fly completely across the country, to do a gig that night, to get back on a plane, to go back to where we just came from.

And it just depends on the routing of the tour. So there's shit where we're on a bus, but we have to break it up with flights in between and shit like that. And you're not sleeping. I mean, you're fuckin', you just did a fuckin' gig. And then you go back to your hotel just to grab your shit, basically. And then to go to the airport and go through all that bullshit, the security and all that shit.

And then you're flying and I can't sleep on a fuckin' flight, so I'm like awake for like four or five hours and then get up, do soundcheck, do interviews, do meet and greet, do the gig, and then do it again that night and then go fuckin' fly back again and you know. People have no idea. Don't work. No. They really don't.

No. They really don't know the work that happens when you get there and they don't appreciate the work that happens before you get there. More, the last year, more than ever, you know, you get Facebooks and you get Twitters and people tell you their stories and people are real interesting. But once every 10 days, you got this guy that thinks that this is a fuckin' duck walk. I love those people. Oh, dude.

That's a vacation. I love those people. That they don't understand that there's a commitment in this, that they think that somebody picks up a phone and makes a call. They think that I never ran into this as much as the last six months to a year, that this is just a given away lottery. The work that if they, if you could look into a crystal ball and see the work and the sleeping on couches and the living with no money that you could, you're gonna go through in the

next 10 years on an average for you to do this, most people wouldn't do this. Makes you over, now, when you get into something, like send it, you know what you got yourself into. So it's the passion of it. I love these people that just think that they're just gonna stroll up here with their good looks and jail manners and fuckin' do what the fuck, it took years. Fuck yeah. It takes years to get good at something.

And then it takes another year, a couple years to learn how to navigate in that world. And then it takes two more years to learn how to put the navigation and the talent together. It's such a fucking journey. You know, when you came in and you said that, I never even thought about it from that perspective. Yeah, very true. You were a fan of this and now you're in this fucking band. Looking over, looking at how Jorgensen going, how the fuck did I get here? Like I was just a regular kid in that water village chasing lizards and selling them to

the release restaurants. I mean, I'm in a very similar position. I drove cross-country and I found podcasts. And I've always been a huge fan of stand-up comedy and not so much in the podcast anymore because we've done tons of podcasts. But when I get to go to Joey's shows, it's crazy. Just even being backstage or the fact that anyone knows who I am blows my mind. It still freaks me out kind of.

It's very flattering. But whenever Joey has a show, he takes pictures at the end, I stay in close, but I never expect a woman just going to jump into the picture. It's a very, it's a, never anything that I would have, because you planned it, it seemed it sounds like you're not exactly with this band, but you planned your career. I would have never guessed this is where my life would have gone. Yeah. It's interesting hearing you talk.

It's cool. I'm very jealous that you had such a conviction and you knew. I did. I mean, that's the one thing I got to say. I don't know if I was just completely stupid or what, but I did have that conviction in that knowing that this was it for me. And I think a lot of it had to do with my dad. It was, it's in my blood.

My dad used to be, my dad was a singer in Mexico in the sixties and he had a band and I still have his 45, which they released, which is like a number one hit single and like the mid sixties and shit like that. But he was a singer and I think that's where I got it from. And he never pushed me into it. And it was never anything that he was like, you know, hey, I want you to do that. If anything, it was almost like the opposite. Like he almost didn't want me to do it.

But I think I was born with it. Like I think it was just something that I had in me because, you know, I would hear music from as early as I can remember up until I heard that Kiss Alive record and that solidified that I was going to go in this hard rock kind of, you know, genre. But I think that it was something I was born with and it's something that even if it all ended today right now, I'd still be doing it. Like I would still be on a fucking some corner or something, fucking blame the guitar and some fucking bar, whatever, just still doing it.

Like it's, it's, it's not anything that you can just shut off, at least for me. You know, whether I'm up here or down here, it's, it's still here. So it's always going to be there for me, you know? And that's what's, that's what's, I think, pushed me so far in my eyes. Like I've, you know, I've, I've made it kind of how you said earlier, you know, what's making it? Well, for me, it's creating, writing music, fucking touring, being, you know, sharing what I do with other people and shit like that. To me, that's making it, like it, on my terms, I made it.

Everything else that's happened, the fucking Grammy nominations, the fucking this and that, like, dude, that's icing on the cake. That's shit that you never think about, you know what I mean? Like I never did fucking, I'm a kid from East LA, dude, never in a million years would I fucking think, oh, you're going to be, you know, you're going to be hanging out with Tony Bennett at the fucking Grammys, you know, talking and shooting the shit with him and, and, you know, dude, it's just shit that you never think. Even look at people go, this motherfucker knew I was from East LA and I ate tamales

from the garbage can. Will he still talk to me? Did you always say that to myself? Dude, always when families come up to me, like Lee was saying, a lot of people bring their families, I know they bring their moms. And I'm like, if your mom knew that I robbed a little cancer kid and chain box one time from a car valve store, would they still be hugging? Yeah, yeah, no, I do, I do think that, man, all these victims of the art that you

did to get the music and pain to talk about on stage or whatever the fuck that thing, whatever drives us to do. Listen, when I got into this, I didn't get into this to be on TV. Send not at all. Yeah, I didn't get into this to be in the movies. I was running out of options. So I was running out of options and I liked the lifestyle. Yeah.

And I understood what they were doing. Make people laugh. I do that for free. Yeah, yeah. I do that on the corners every day. I actually think I get the front eight balls because I come to your house, tell you I need money. You'd say, no, next to, you know, I get you laughing.

Next to you know, you're like, all right, all right, I can't give you an able, but I give you a grab of the half and I got you with laughter. It's the same thing. Yeah. I didn't know what laughter felt like to people. And a lot of times I have to remember to laugh and I really appreciate it. Like now the first 10 or 12 years of comedy, I forgot what laughter was. So when people would talk to me about it, understand what they were saying.

I was going through a divorce. I lost a fucking child through a divorce. I didn't get to talk to it, but now I genuinely like to laugh and it reminds myself of what I do to people. And that is better than the money, better than anything. Like I don't give a fuck about it. I never did. I don't want them to say these.

I want to fucking Subaru hatchback. Whether I got $10 or $2,000, I got a Subaru hatchback, bro. That's just the way it is. They give me the most value for my dollar. I work hard for my dollar plain and simple. You follow me? But that's, that's what this was for me. And I've been realizing lately that I'm in there for 25 years that

the fucking journey, the journey has been so fucking mind boggling. Like the only regret I had is that I didn't put a computer chip in my brain, the camera to establish all the thoughts and all the different things. Cause there's so much you forget, maybe because you want to tuck away, but sure. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's the journey, I think is one of the most beautiful things, man, that a lot of people don't know, don't appreciate and don't get and will never get.

And it's what got you to where you're at right now, man, the twists and turns and the you thinking, okay, well, I'm going to try this or I'm going to try that. And it not going the way you thought. But then this other thing happened and that I always find interesting when I talk to people and like when I love watching documentaries on shit where they really talk about that kind of shit and what, you know, the different avenues that they had to take to get to where they're at. I always find interesting.

You know what I mean? It's that. Me too. Me too. I love all that shit. Yeah. Because, you know, it's like the more you fail at little things, just for trying them, the higher your success rate gets in a way.

I don't know how to explain that since it's dumb, but that's how it's always felt like to me. Like I look back at all the things I did. Like I'm trying to outline a chapter from 95 to like 2040, just fucking around. And it was a no festival. I was at the no festival. Everything was fucking no. Everything was no.

Who would tolerate that? And then I got mad TV. I got like a movie. I got baseball in 98 and it was like every time I was about to really shit on myself, I would get a sign, not a big sign, a little sign, you know, like two days on a movie. Really? And you got a line.

Come on. Come on. Stop pulling my leg. Here's the line, you know, and it's like these little things that keep you alive for six months, even though you're eating tuna, even though your friend let you 40 bucks, you just know it. You just know something, you know, that's the fucking best feeling in the world from all this.

Absolutely. I wouldn't have had nowhere to go. Like if I fucked up here in LA, that's it. That would have been it. That, well, where else can you go do comedy? Where are you going to do? Yeah, yeah. New York and banging out there.

And until when you're going to eventually have to be here for something. Yeah. And they're going to go, that's the guy that robbed the comedy store. Dude, I, and I got to say the first time I saw you was at Flappers in Burbank. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go with fucking with Felipe. Years ago.

Yeah. Years ago. That, that was my introduction to you. And I was there. It might have even, I don't know if it was in New Year's. Yes, it was New Year's. It was something like that. It was New Year's.

And I was fucking sitting there, man, front row. And you fucking came on. I didn't know who you were. And dude, I was fucking completely floored. I was just like, who the fuck is this is, this guy is fucking amazing. I was nuts. And my wife was pregnant. She was just about to have the kid and I had been home for 10 days straight.

I was about to stab somebody at night and Felipe called me and said, come down and do 10 minutes, Douglas. I'm staying all night. Dude. And I mean, I just got to say, you fucking killed. You blew me away, dude. Blew me away. And I mean, from that point on, I've just been fucking fan, dude, like huge fan,

dude. So, I mean, my hat off to you, dude. Thank you. Amazing. Yeah, I go off a flap as it's a conservative club. So I go up there, extra heavy footed the first 30 seconds to really throw him off the boat. They have no idea.

They're talking about Disneyland the next day. And I go and I love it. You know, it's, it's the psychological of it. Yeah. It's like if I took ministry and put them in a place where the, where the Beach Boys play. Right. Like Hendricks opening for the monkey.

Yeah. That type of shit. You know what I'm saying? Like it's like that. Like you got to go out there and let them know this is what this room's about. Exactly. Now, do you do any solo projects? Yeah.

I, I mean, I do a lot of session work to this day and I also do like from time to time, I'll do like my own side things. Like right now I got this, this old school power metal project called three headed snake that I'm recording an EP for right now. Four folks, old school, three songs, three songs, old school fucking like I did. Like, you know, old school priest kind of sounding shit. You know what I mean? Um, and it's just for fun.

Like it's just, uh, I happen to have some time. And, um, I've been, I'd written these songs a few years ago and, and I have this amazing singer and, um, so we're tracking that right now actually. And, uh, we should have that done probably in February by next month. So I always do shit to keep me busy. And, you know, I'm always doing, like I said, sessions and other artists and bands always hit me up. Now sessions, when you do sessions, you go down to Capitol records and shit like

everywhere, anywhere, man. Yeah. Anywhere there's a studio that wants me and they pay you. Oh yeah. No input. Just play the fucking guitar and go both, both. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll do both. I'll do like some bands. They're like, Hey man, can you write something for this? You know, and they'll give me like a basic idea they have. And, um, I'll write the guitar parts. If they want to solo, I'll do that, blah, blah, blah. Other times it's just here are the parts, but we want you to play these parts and stuff's already written.

And then I just, you know, basically add my shit to it, but it's already written. So it's both. I get both. Yeah. Interesting dude, bro. Yeah, man. No, that was an education before on the couch. We should have fucking taped that.

But it was the same thing. I get high with Lee and we forget shit. But you should have heard, you should have heard Joey on earlier when I was talking to him, when he realized that I've been cleaning sober my whole life. Oh, you know what I was just going to say? Cause you look great. I, I, as a, I thought you, I thought you dropped the phone when we were talking earlier, as a musician, you, you're around everything.

You know, and, uh, I, I could see somebody going, I've never done this, but I do drink and smoke pot and time to time. You said you're completely then nothing drink. I've never had a sip of beer, never smoked anything, never done. Why? Um, no beef, no, nothing here. No, I'm, yeah, no, I totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I, and I'm, and I, and I'm the same way, man.

Um, honestly, the God honest truth is I've never been curious about that stuff. I never got curious about that stuff. That's like, if I had to say one thing, that's the thing. The second thing, which is going to sound very uncool and very rock and roll is I remember early on my mom having a conversation with me and her telling me, you know, cause she could see that this is what I was, where I was headed. And I remember her saying, you know, you're always going to have my support. I'm always going to back you, whatever you want to do.

And you want to do this. Just don't get involved in like drugs and alcohol and stuff like that. That was it. Wasn't like a big, heavy, you know, set you aside and we're going to have this tie. It was nothing like that. That's the only other thing I could sort of think that I always carried with me. And other than that, I mean, there really is no other big reason I've been around it. Oh my God, dude, I mean, you know, man, I've, dude, I go on the road and my pockets

are full of shit that people give me. And, and, and, um, and yeah, I just, I've never been curious about it, man. Just never anything I was ever, like not a sip of beer, man. I have no idea. Nothing is overrated. I mean, a lot of people are going to get mad. It's like, it's an, uh, what is it called? A, uh, a taste you have to like, you have to grow to like.

It's an acquired taste. Acquired taste, thank you. But, and you know, also knowing I have a very addictive personality. So I kind of, I know that if I, if I did something and I liked it, I would like the shit out of it. And I would probably be one of those guys. What the fuck knows that I'm addicted to personality of 14. What are you addicted to?

Let me get a tissue. Oh, just, you know, I, let's just say I, I know. But like, did you know at 14? Yeah, I did, man. You like it? I, I, I did, you know, I, I just knew that, that whatever I, I liked, there was no middle ground for me. It was just like, you know, I either hated it or I fucking love the shit out of it.

And I just, and I just had a feeling. I was like, all right, well, I'm not really curious about this stuff. But if I ever, if I did do it and I did like it, I would probably be the guy that just went completely off the deep end with it. And I did sense that early on. Yeah. You know, I liked soda when I was a kid. I love this shit out of soda.

And you offered me a water at your house. Oh, what I get offended. What? No soda. Right. I'll take juice there and cool it last. But you don't offer me water. You know what I'm saying?

That's the order. We got, I ain't got no soda, but I got nice juice. Let's do some juice. Right. We ain't got no juice, but we got Kool-Aid. The cherry one. Ah, well, that's, oh, what? But, uh, I don't know, you know, I never thought about it like that at that age.

Yeah. I was, I was very shy with marijuana use for my first year. Yeah. I did not want it to get out. I was very, especially around my martial art friends. I did not want them to know I did any type of marijuana. Yeah. Yeah.

For me to break loose from that, I had to stop hanging out with them and shun them out completely. And look what he got me. If I was to stay in my little faggy karate friends, I would have been a Marine right now retired and done something with my life. But no, I chose to hang out with the dirty kids, listen to them skinning and lighting fires in the woods and shit like that. So, dude, I still remember the first time I saw a bong.

I was jamming at a buddy's house when I was like 12 or 13 up in the Burbank Hills. And we're sitting around in this guy's garage and they were all like three or four years older than I was. And we were just fucking playing like priest covers or whatever the fuck we were playing and all of a sudden the drummer, it was the it was his house who stops and he's like, I'm going to take a break and we all just kind of sat down. And I remember them breaking out this fucking bong that like lit up, like had a light and shit like that.

And I remember just sitting there and I was going, what the fuck is that? Like, I didn't even know what the fucking was, dude. And fucking like they're like passing this shit around. And I was like, what the fuck? And I just, I remember it got to me and I just like pass it to the next guy. But like, I remember that shit and I'm not knowing what the fuck. What was the first time you saw cocaine or heroin? How old was I?

Yeah. Um, probably 18. Shoot snorting. Okay. Yeah. I saw this was shooting probably early 20s. And it traumatizes you. Oh, dude, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, brutal, dude.

Yeah, I saw that shit as like a child. Like running up a flat of stairs to call for a friend and you get to the third floor and there'd be a guy with his head down with the needle in his arm and sleep and you got to walk past this guy. Fucking horrendous. Then there was like an epidemic in New York and I used to go to my aunt's house. So right, a lady had told a story about in comedy central.

There was always a guy shooting in a hallway. I mean, he was like a flower. Like, you know, when you walk into a building, there's a plant on the floor. Oh, was there? He was always there with the rubber around his arm and he would be pushing it in. And I would look at him for like a split second because that shit makes me faint. And I just run up the stairs. It was fucking horrible, horrible, horrible.

Yeah, I can't imagine being a young kid and not like I was around as a kid. I knew in a chit chat. Yeah. But to see it for somebody to whip it out in front of you one time. Yeah, what the fuck are you doing? It's fucking brutal, man. I mean, I've seen fucking every fucking thing you can imagine. I mean, been around a bit in the rooms, guys that I used to play with.

And, you know, everywhere, dude, it was always around me, always. I think I know maybe like two or three guys in the music scene that have never touched anything like at all. Other than that, everyone has. And I mean, that's cool. Like, I'm not, I'm not like, I'm not like anybody. Yeah, yeah, you go to listen. If it wasn't for heroin, we would have no Allison chain.

Exactly. Yeah. Thank God for H, you know, they gave us for a house. Allison chain, you know, dirt is brilliant. Oh, fucking great masterpiece. The one before that jars. What is it? Um, what was it?

You have something. Something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, masterpieces. And these guys were fucking drooling. Oh, I know losing teeth and shit. Are you fucking crazily losing teeth? Why does heroin make you lose teeth? I don't know.

Maybe you forget to brush your teeth. I have no fucking idea. But I'm just saying it just happens once a tooth goes. I think it's time to fucking change your perspective and shit. Oh my God. What was like the other musicians' response to this? Like how much grief did you get early on? You know, not as much as you would think.

That's pretty cool, actually. Yeah, it was it was weird. I don't know if it was just because I was it was just they saw the conviction right me and it was never an issue. I never really got like any shit for it. Like people just early on be like, oh, you don't do this or whatever. Like it was just that was it. It was never like, you know, I never got any any real bullshit for it.

And I mean, and with with ministry, I mean, Al, you know, no secret that he was did everything, man. I mean, he was, you know, on heroin and I mean, he he hit the rock bottom before he cleaned up. And yeah, I mean, we talk about that shit. He's one of those dudes, Al Jorgensen that nobody talks about. But he's been there back.

Yeah, there and back already. Yeah. You know, that guy that sit him down, it would take you 10 years to pick his fucking brain and what he knows. He had hits. He knows what it is to fucking be at the very top and at the very bottom. And he knows what to be at the very bottom. And you know what?

He's never stopped. And you have to look at that and go, wow, that counts for some in my fucking book. Absolutely. I don't know about your book, but that counts for some in my book. Fuck yeah. You know, all these bands now that are coming back to play. Whatever it is, whatever they come back, just the fact that they come and back, they're given the opportunity.

You know, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do when you're sixty six? You know, when you're sixty four, you look as good as you do. You could still move around the stage or at least for two hours. You're right. Exactly. Yeah. And take your tongue out.

And you know, you can't do it every night. Can't do it four nights a week. But you can still pop out to it. Oh, yeah, the opportunity. Yeah, sixty six. Yeah. You're going, you go back on the bread diet, you dye your hair. You're getting a young girlfriend.

You give her a do so weak to get the old scum out of your suck. Nutsack to get that nutsack working like it used to when you were forty. That's all you need. You go to fucking CVS, you get some new genics. It only costs two hundred a week. What's that? It only costs two hundred a week to have the girl. No, you find yourself a Harvey Weinstein left over somebody who's on the

shit list and they're willing to do whatever they need to do to make the small three hundred and they come over four days and polish your knob. You're sixty nine. You practice. They'll tell you what to hide. They don't send you seventy. Hide your ass cheeks. That's me on these.

Just show me a dick. You know what I'm saying? Hide your nutsack. You don't want to put your nuts in your mouth. They might die. Yeah. By the time you're seventy, you put your nuts in a woman's mouth. They'll just die.

They'll just die. They just die. That's like that's like eating with those fruits and fucking Jamaican fucking diet. What's your website, buddy? Cyncurin.com is a website. What can I find there? You got everything to a date? Yeah, yeah, everything to a day.

It's everything that we're doing. You're a very interesting fucking dude, bro. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. Very interesting. I appreciate that. I like this whole East L.A. thing. That how you guys what's your relationship with war?

Oh, dude, of course. Jesus Christ. I would have died many times, dude. Man, these motherfuckers used to walk around here like nothing. Yeah, they were like a gang, dude. They were like just dudes walking around in the scene, dude. And I, you know, the last time I got to say the last time I saw them, Eric Burton came up and and did spill the wine

with them. And I was like, holy fuck, dude, because that's like one of my all time favorite songs. That is the baddest fucking jam in the world. And let's see if we got Eric. Yeah, dude, let's close with the wine. Spill the wine. That is a fucking jam.

That's the jam, dude. And a half. Yeah. Listen, brother, you have an open door here. Thank you, man. Anytime you want to come in, I know you're right down the corner. Yeah, man. Drop in, talk shit for an hour. Sounds good.

You're the man of steel. It's been a real pleasure. I'm pissed that I don't know you early. How back do you go? How far back to go with Rudy? Well, Rudy, I met for the first time just a couple of years ago. But I mean, you know, known of him for, you know, since fucking back in the day, man, I've been following that

cats since early eighties. So but we met for the first time. We did. We did the Randy Rhodes Remember Jam up at the Canyon Club. And I did Suicide Solution with fucking Rudy, dude, on base. And I was, you know, that's a highlight for me, dude, you know, to do that shit, plucking plain Randy stuff with Rudy up on stage. It was fucking crazy.

And we had Stephen Perkins, I think, from Jane's Addiction, played drums on that. So it's fucking blast, man. Yeah. And we'll get into the fucking Nancy Rhodes School down the corner here. That's amazing. I'll do it. Absolutely.

Yeah. That's just I heard his mom had a guitar school in Burbank, Burbank. Yeah, yeah. It was actually Burbank, North Hollywood, right in the border. But she lived Andy or Randy was from Burbank, went to John Muir Junior High, which is the same junior high I went to. And I remember I used to go to the my old, the junior high library and look up the old yearbooks to see pictures of Randy in there

while I was like going to that same school and shit. So that was a big Randy, Randy Rhodes family. You know, I was a big Sabbath fan. Ozzie left God knows what was going to happen. And I was in the village and I saw the EP, the first EP four songs and I was done. Yeah. I was done.

Yeah. He had taken any Van Halen and stepped on it. Absolutely. It's like he just stepped on that. Yeah, it was a whole difference. It was a whole different fucking genre. Yeah, we'll get into that next time. For sure, man.

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Fuck that shit. You got fucking hello to she's sprinkling your asshole to death. Anyway, I want to thank hello to she. I want to thank me on these. I want to thank sin. Quirin. She didn't get in from the beautiful band ministry. He dropped some knowledge on us.

And I want to thank all you motherfuckers and get ready, Charlotte sharpen your helmet. Uncle Joey's coming to town. I don't want to, you know, fucking bullshit when I get there. Stars, everything, the sugar, the pills, we're doing everything. So show up early, get your tickets and stop fucking around. We're throwing some fucking heat this weekend. You understand me? Stay black.

Let's get that skill to wine. Hit that girl one more time for fucking sin. I love your fucks. Have a great weekend. I love you, motherfuckers. I was once out strolling one very hot summer's day when I thought I'd lay myself down to rest in a big, tall field of Mexican grass. Oh, yeah, I lay there in the sun and felt it caressing my face as I fell asleep and dreamed.

I dreamed I was in a Hollywood movie, yes, I did, that I was a star of the movie. Now this truly blew my mind. It's like that million-over-fair long-handed big nose should be the star. The Hollywood movie, but there I was, I was taken to a place, a hall of a mountain king. The high up on a mountain top, get to the world, in front of every kind of blue. It was long once, tall once, big one, round once, black once, round once. My gang, fuck you, I know the middle. Hey, my lady, she was burning my ear, something crazy.

She said, she said, get in my, get in my, get in my, get in my. I thought to myself, What does that mean? Am I going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy? I know I'm blaming a few lacrosse somewhere so it's all in my head And then I heard her say Ooh, what am I saying? Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why, tell me why Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why, tell me why

I could see your heart flicks a fire roaring up my body She disappeared, but soon she did return In her hand was a bottle of Lifframish In the other egg glass She poured some of the wine from the bottle to the glass She raised it to her lips And just before she drank it She looked me dead in the eye and said

Get it, get it, get it, get it Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why Tell me why, tell me why, tell me why It's all you, all you got to do is spill that wine Come on, come on, come on, make me feel all gone Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out

Get it out, get it out, get it out It's all you, all you got to do is spill that wine My wine is your blood, my wine is your wine Spill that wine, mmm, give me that wine, baby Ooh, take that work, take it in your teeth now Roll it around your head, spill that wine My wine is your wine, my wine is your wine No wine for nobody, for nobody, for nobody

Nobody, nobody, just you and me, baby Nobody, nobody, mmm, no, nobody Nobody, nobody, spill that wine Spill that wine, spill that wine Spill that wine Spill that wine