Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #560 - Cory n Chad The Smash Brothers

Episode Date: February 19, 2018

Cory n Chad, identical twin brother comedians who are known as The Smash Brothers, seen on Showtime, join Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Vincero Watches - Dont just get a watch, elevate your game and get  a Vincero Watch. Get yours at getthewatch.net and our listeners get 15% off when they use promo code CHURCH.   MYB Casino - Go To M-Y-B-casino.ag  and triple your bankroll with their 200% sign up bonus. Use code Church 200.   Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 02/18/2018.  

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go to vencero at get the watch dot net how you like me now number two let me tell you something you go to vegas you go to lennon saturday it's a blast you get chlamydia the whole thing but personally i'm a big fan of you know polka blackjack i like to watch people play dice sometimes i win sometimes i lose not so good but i always gotta have a good time the problem is getting to vegas isn't that easy for me you know i'm saying i'm a fat fuck woman to roll escape back and forth but ever since i found my b casino betting from the comfort of my home has been simple and a fucking blast that's why i always tell people to go to my b casino dot ag they got huge bonuses free spins and much more so off the bat you're already winning from the day you create your account

do me a favor all right join my b casino and deposit today to triple your bankroll with their amazing 200 sign up bonus use promo code church 200 to activate your offer beat the house from your house you understand me you sit in your living room you got your underwear on you got your socks you're scratching your nuts you got a sudden urge to gamble play at my b casino dot ag today and use code church 200 go check out that right now you're sitting there fucking boy again you play you win you get paid lee take that motherfucker mule sunday february 18th the day the devil was fucked in the ass and they dropped him off at what's his name harvey's house oh shit but i'll be 55 tomorrow by the time he listened to this

uncle joey's getting old cock suckers but i'm still hanging in there you know why because i got you mother fuckers that's why welcome to the church oh what's happening now oh shit please the only guy that goes to florida and comes back without a suntan this is what i'm talking about guys i came back Taylor i'd be at the beach but that's pf number two you know what oh fuck no lick that mule oh no lick that mule

can't go for that can't go for that you can't go for being what the fuck finally my brothers yes the best looking twins on the business yeah quarry and chad welcome to the show you guys hit me up a few months ago and i'm like how the fuck am i gonna figure out how to get these motherfuckers on the show you know this ain't no uh who's your father type show yeah i'm saying like hold on one second we found your father well if you find him tell me else it's mine wouldn't be fucked up if you had different fathers oh we don't even know who he is like quarry you are his you are quarry's father but not chad's father yeah and we got the christ killer fresh from hanging out three days with his dad absolutely always a good deed you deposit a

coin in a karma cap a karma bank when you do that type of shit it seems like a six hundred miles out of your pocket but in reality you're uh getting to spend time with your dad a lot of people don't have that that privilege so that's why i always urge people if you have time to fucking if your dad's all go down there pick his brain write a book yeah the guy's sitting there dying to talk to somebody and you're here fucking around with your friends at starbucks the most interesting person in your life is sitting on a couch by himself with a diaper with some nicaraguan chick chasing this fucking diaper go down there get him a chick get him a handjob you know what i'm saying be a good son what do you imagine being like 80 and your son bringing your chick to suck your

dick was like 24 i instantly get into you would just look at your son and go like i love you yeah i always knew i knew you were my favorite uh last night i and i'm very sorry for doing this i put up a show and i told people it was my 55th birthday so people have been confused for three days the reason i had that show at the ice house last night because it was ralphie may's birthday and i wanted to celebrate ralphie may but i didn't want to put it out there and had people show up with teas and comics that you know don't know nothing about nothing so the first person people i thought it was quarry and chad because i wanted to give you a different perspective the professional comedian i i know what ralphie meant to these two fucking guys these two guys

would take a bullet for ralphie you know look what happened in florida god bless these kids so those three teachers that were shot they got in front of those kids i knew teachers like that yeah and i know who are my friends that would do that you know i'm saying i mean who would fucking grab me and turn around and last week my daughter was in the park and she was with a girl and she ran the girl found my daughter kept playing i went and grabbed like listen go back and she's run playing like i'll go back for your friend lesson number one in life with your friends always go back for your friend after go back if he's getting the beating of his life jumping if he's getting arrested at least let's figure out how to get him out already yeah with

no drama without a pinch right you know i'm saying let's figure out how to fucking if it's murder let's figure out how to sabotage the car and if it's license plate something stupid let's go somewhere we got bail ready to go by the time he gets to court we're already in there with the $50 bail guy you know whatever always go back for your friends and it's so weird that in this business we have acquaintances we have friends and then we have brothers and then we have mentors yeah and i think Ralphie was that to both of us oh yeah for sure as as older as i was a lot older than Ralphie may but i learned many things from him you know you have a privilege in your life you got to learn from one of the best you got to go on the road with one of the best and so did i

yeah i got to go on the road with Joe Rogan the education isn't valuable right you know tell us from day one how this relationship started uh we met uh Ralph uh talking to the mike kaksa yeah we we met Ralph at the Hollywood improv we were sleeping on the streets uh to do last comic standing and and we met him but we didn't really talk to him and he walked by us and asked us what we're doing it was like four days before we wanted to be number one in line so he goes hey fuck that someone hold your place come in and do time don't be out here in the cold and he put us on his show and uh well and then after all he yeah he which we needed he critiqued us and and basically told us we weren't ready for that show and and which was the best advice because we weren't ready for

that show we still slept on the streets and still found out we weren't ready for it but that's it started from there yeah and he educated us right from that point and then next time he came into uh braio or maybe ontario or improv here in southern california we got to open up for him and then that relationship got built to where fast forward just two three years and then we were on the road with him full time full time yeah you know living with him on the bus and you were there when he was selling our theaters oh we would do theaters we would do you know boston that wilbur that big son of a bitch we would be there do several shows you know walkie the pap theater all the big giant like historic theaters that you know more than just a two three four thousand seats and then

ralph would sell them out and you know the whole deal merged and we'd learn everything you know from them the business side of it not just tell dick jokes and you know so we learned a lot when you went up in front of his crowd a few times did you guys bomb it all again one time oh i'll tell you i mean a few but one time in vegas we're smoking and then he we got cocky and he's like you better get a stand he would always tell us uh this thing sts he goes go out there and steal the show they paid to see me but they're gonna leave smash brothers fans go out there and sts that's all he ever had to tell us so we were cocky and we're like we're gonna get one cocksucker so we went out there and we ate a dick oh and he didn't light us he did it on purpose and he kept watching and he

kept watching us and watching us bomb and the fucking light i'm like where's the light and where's the light and he looked at us and he just flipped us off he's like fuck you okay and so they won't we shook his hand he goes where'd you lose him and he stopped and had a conversation in front of a crowd that's not laughing no more and wanted to know what we did wrong and then he goes go to the side you have another show that you'll make it up li what would you rather do either that another edible or go through that i totally li's been doing comedy now for about he started about a year ago but the last three weeks he's fucking getting into it right and he's been doing great i mean he's a great he's a woody allen type he's like woody allen he's up there the

erotic the jew comes out but not really right which is really cool and so one day we're sitting here smoking pot and i'm getting them high and you know right now everything's blood and you know everything's roses it's a honeymoon period way you know yeah i'm his buddy he's friends all comics and when they see him they give him love you know what i'm saying right so uh i said to him you know li i gotta talk to you pretty soon i gotta start torturing you on stage he goes what are you talking about i go up like go up there and tell you to do 10 and you already got your time you but you've been working hard for 10 you know what i'm saying oh yeah you're like i got seven and three quarters if i improvise a minute and after you're up there for fucking 10 minutes

i'm not giving you a light and you're looking at me going and i'm like three you've only done three minutes yeah and li's face got red and then i go after a while i just give you the finger like just fuck you yeah because i'm not gonna that's how you become a comic it really is this is just it's craziness that you uttered this lee sir that i miss a beat when i told you what we do to you i can't even imagine that happening we're talking in front of like oh 1500 i don't know how many people a fucking lot and then he's just laughing you're fighting it out li you're fighting it out your face is red you're gonna feel sweat come out from places where you've never even thought you had a sweat gland like after the show the back of your knees you're like Jesus fucking christ

well i told you i after austin i had to wait ten like you've done uh cap city right yeah you know right off the stage like there's a little seating area and then like there's a wall yeah he i went up on the last show i did i think five minutes and i was fine on stage but when i got off i had to lean against the wall for 10 minutes i couldn't walk back my legs were shaking your adrenaline levels i mean it's because we have to get you used to being there like there's nothing like for the beginner comic to really understand the patois of the bomb the patois of the bomb is your first two jokes they kind of get it and after that it's a long night but guess what the emcee decided to get his dick sucked so he's not

giving you the light yeah and you're there coming up you and you're stealing yeah any comic that tells you hasn't stole at that point they're a liar they're a liar they're a liar you start feeling like a motherfucker you're stealing knock knock jokes whatever it's a seinfeld joke oh my god zuka rapper and some you'll call you out like at the nine-minute mark to make it even worse that's chris rock's joke you know and it's not the bomb i want you to feel what the emotion feels like yeah and except silence he would always say silence is okay that means they're listening he'd always tell us that yeah don't be in a rush to get to the next one he's gonna smile take a sip whatever don't he'd always tell us that because he felt like he was the king of that yeah

he was the king of that well he did like two hours that every night we've seen him do we did in an hour and he did three and a half in adison improv it was a four and a half hour show that and this guy in the front row was so into ralphie that he actually passed out fell onto the fucking stage was seizuring and shit and then ralphie stopped the show helped him so the guy got carried out ralphie kept going and we did he did three and a half fucking hours that night think about that three and a half fucking hour that's a long time and people weren't leaving you know people stopped if you know in like 2008 i started having doubts guys you know uh mental health is a big it's a thin line in this business mental health comedy and art and i didn't invent that rudy

sarzo said it to me one time i always knew it existed right i started in a small you know i started in denvin in the seattle the comedy scene yeah i just said why these people keep going up every week but guess what that's everything right you know that their goal isn't our goal you know so it's different what the fuck are we talking about uh mental health 2008 2008 i moved to the valley in 2009 there's a four dealership down the corner and i said to myself i'm quitting i'm gonna quit this shit i'm gonna do stand up around the area get movies when my friends auditioned me or whatever and for like four months i didn't say nothing and i would go see headliners in brayer in earth without saying a word i would

two of the guys would recognize me that time i opened for joe and i would headline on wednesdays and sundays like you guys did yeah exactly and i went to see every headliner out there that year and i saw some fucking horror shows once we kept me in the game but the two best acts i saw that year were gregorado and ralfi may and that's as buy that's unbuy like ralfi may in 2009 was fucking untouchable oh yeah the style the breathing the charisma the the whole fucking package how he sold merch at the end on stage with the no money that the thought it was guys you know a lot of people have seen ralfi the listening but it was something that i went home and i was like there was three times i almost doubted myself a comedy saw duck stanhope in 2006

in seattle you have no idea guys yeah i went home and cried i was like i'm done i'm done i'm never gonna do comedy again because i'll never be that good yeah you said to yourself you'll never be that good and then i saw ralfi and gregorado in 2009 i was like i don't know it's funny he said that we've had that same talk that you just said like with each other and we were watching ralfi crush and he was singing he made up some improv shit he was singing and he got standing ovations like 40 minutes into his set and he wasn't even wasn't even fucking closing but he's crushing so hard they just fucking stand up you know and he would close with that bon jovi you know and he'd finger bang and the crowd we're talking thousands of people will be singing with him and he'd just

be smiling and like you said he'd get off and two hours he'd stand out there and shake everybody's hand and not everyone does that a lot of guys just go to the fucking green room go fuck bitches and then they're on to the next town he would stand out there and then he would ask people where we go where where where's everybody going where's the spot and then we go till two in the morning whatever town we were in and he'd stay out because he loved his fucking fans he loved the people and we learned a lot from him like that just amazed like i can't believe he rocked it like that hard well a lot of it was like what i learned from him was how to be a gentleman yeah like he was a lot younger than i was and in 98 97 i was still untameable like i was still untameable the cocaine

was burning deep in my soul and i meet this young southern fat warm kid and that matter me was a scared kid guys everybody was served ma'am you know i mean it was really amazing and then the reefer and then he was off and running yeah and he knew day one what he was gonna do and how he was gonna do it you know he knew day one he was struggled for a couple months or a year and a half larry david took him out to lunch and before the show and there was there was a lot of things that after last comic standing it was fucking off and running yeah yeah he told us after because that's when we started working with them and but full time like around the time you're saying 2008 9 that's when we started picking up more and more gigs with them to where by 2009

and going into 10 it was full blown just this guy worked so much too he picked up fucking gigs on Tuesday when most guys are hanging out we'd be in minnesota in snow and and the bus would be there but we'd still he'd do a fucking show because we were just there like he worked every day and we wouldn't post about a lot of shit you know he would just go do the show whoever was there was and just to stay busy because he loved it you know he really loved it he loved it like he would love it and then we talk about it because he didn't write jokes you know we would just talk on the bus he'd break our balls and then run shit by us and then he'd do it that night and we talk about it to the next town like because he wouldn't remember half the she does so much time he wouldn't remember

and that's what we would do like john madden we'd go over our sets every fucking night and he'd go hey whatever you closed with you're opening with that tomorrow and i don't care what you close with you know he would challenge us every night and he'd come up with topics that was the other thing he busted our balls he's like tonight everyone's gonna do a joke on fucking antelopes so and i'm like antelopes yeah whatever whatever he said but he would fuck with us and if you didn't do it you're not getting the light he would just look at you and just smile i mean he'd be like fuck you say what i told you you know he'd be out there say have balls you know there's a reason yeah and it's tough to explain to people i worked for a guy in 94 95 i worked for a sports betting service

guys the guy was a genius give a look at people and you like and you see what they have and the time they did it and how they did it and how they started that's what interests me that journey this guy was a winner he was so good at what he did that you know we were salesmen we sold us a gambling information but he was so good at what he did that by listening to what you were saying he knew what was going on and he'd come right over to you and go and he'd say the words he'd utter the words sometimes you take the phone out of your hand and impersonate you and say the words and the words were so horrific but if you said those words you got to sell and when you didn't say him he'd just hang up the phone and go you already blew it

now until the next one next time you'll for you just lost 15 on ours give me this lead and he'd just take money out of your pocket there was no fucking around and you learned to listen which is the most important thing in the fucking world especially with comics we want to talk we don't want to listen i just learned to listen six years ago my life changed right your life changed Ralphie was a fucking genius like Rogan my son playing next to Rogan it's just me and him and we break down comedy and we talk about the different exercises that we personally do because we each have quirks his comics you know tomorrow night i'm gonna open up with my clothes oh jesus that's dangerous oh jesus how do you say that to somebody how do you say that but

that's what you force yourself to do as a man you go tonight it's thursday night it's my opening night in minnesota yep i got friday and saturday to redeem myself yeah that's exactly it's just a mentality that is so that joke that you've been working on so hard and they've been ripping and rocking guess what lee you opened up with that motherfucker tonight and that's the night when i tell you to open up with it and then i stretch the light on you yeah like you're up there 45 drenched in sweat oh puddles are coming out from under you you're up there going oh jesus you're making noises and that's when when you walk off that stage you learn more about yourself and those 30 minutes than any psychiatrist psychological exam you learn more by yourself

and your ability than anything in the world yeah and like i'm in a weird place where like almost every time i go up it's a record time wise for me i'm like i did 1144 tonight so i can't and then i only have like two jokes at best so i can't imagine someone be like tell a joke on pillows tonight and then you just got to write there write a joke that's going to make people laugh 10 minutes yeah in 10 minutes so you get to the quarter eight right and i say to you lee let's fuck with them tonight both of us it's wednesday night exactly go out there and do 20 on pillows yeah just on pillows 20 minutes 20 minutes right there on the spot and you got to look at me and go i can't do that leave your fucking fire if you don't you have to go do you have to go do it

or you're not going to minneapolis next week i'll give it the fucking diagostino but you will walk off that feeling bullied but you'll understand why i bullied 100 you'll go this motherfucker i'm never i'm not working with this guy no more but you get to look forward to we would laugh sometimes i go then you get cocky oh is that it and then you'd fuck with him hey you need to go up there and whatever we he's heckled us from the side of the stage and to where you forget and he starts yelling at you yeah yeah yeah he would do that to me too he thought he'd throw out your punchline before we even got to say and he ruined the bit and he's all go like keep going motherfucker i open for him in bowmont what that sounds mean but oh that's stop that's just he made us better lee i would go up on

stage and he would go cow cow do the tampon the string bit you know and you're like why don't you tell him it Ralphie yeah fucker he would do that to us all the time you'd just be hoping to got someone pulled the fire alarm because you don't even want to finish the fucking but then before he'd go on stage i never forget this for for years ever ever ever all right there used to be a you know the houston improv is today yes before that you know it was 10 years ago yeah at that place that used to be a club called spellbinding there's back in the day okay i don't know if you know this story no you're not laughing so you don't know no i don't know Ralphie had been doing comedy at the nine-year level or something like this this was a big club in houston it was spelled binders

and the laptop or something like that and Ralphie was a spellbinder and he went through the stage and no yes he did yes he did so he went through the stage what do you mean he went to the stage he felt the stage it wasn't built and then he sued the club right so the lady's name was i forget you know i'm i'm high i forget guys so one day i asked him about the agreement how hard is it to get the spellbinders and they go it's no she's okay and i go maybe i'll ask Ralphie me they go no no no no yeah don't ask don't tell him because Ralphie went through the stage and he sued them so one night after one of those ball bus things on stage in Beaumont yeah i get off stage and he's about you know the host is up there one of these hosts i think it was long when i was hosting it was

the old comedy club in Beaumont that was old owned by a beautiful black family that worked the club they were the more he was an engineer she was like a rocket scientist and they quit their job to open up a comedy club in Beaumont Texas it's unheard of wow and they were black which the town next to Beaumont they hanged Jews black Cubans i happened to buy blow there because i showed up with an eight ball with three Ben Frank ones you know i'm saying yeah they looked at the 300s and said okay Diaz march your way out of here you were good in the longest yard though brother yeah so i get off stage after he's heckling me oh do the pussy joke do the tongue in the ass joke you know like he's just saying shit random and i'm laughing i'm high yeah i'm not the type of person that will

be mad because i know where's a lot of this oh absolutely so i get on stage i drive my in those days i used to sweat a lot from the blow the night before i'd be like a skunk up there but like i just fucking and i get off and i look at him this one night like a rafi by the way he goes cocoa i'm gonna kill him that that was a great job by you cocoa you killed him like oh oh by the way uh i forgot to tell you the chick from spellbinding is called and she wants to book you in two weeks right his face just froze because it was one of those things he really didn't want nobody to know right yeah and all of a sudden he looked at me he's like fuck you cow cow and he just went up there and lit that room on fire and then afterward he asked me how did you find out about that shit yeah

oh my god so every three months i would drill him with that right like i would drill him with that listen bro what's the story you want me to book that chick and then they open up the improv and i would ask him about that you didn't be in problem find out that you went through the stage there one time i'll book you this one out for years you know that he went into the fucking states this is in his early days like when he was like six yeah he's bigger he's a big guy and stuff yeah i remember when you know and he his weight fluctuated he shattered a few stools and we had to get a stool we actually have one made and i actually have it now i got a hold of it after passed away but we actually had a building had a steel stool made for him so he could be comfortable

on stage you know and that's funny and he fucking fell through the fucking stage i'd have lost it if i saw bro i used to i'd make sure he's okay but i would have fucking lost it after that you know i was there for a lot of the major good falls like i did you have any falls with you oh yeah in the snow i mean come on one time he stepped off the top step i was getting out of the bus he stepped off the top step and smushed me into the fucking snow bank and we just laid there in the fucking snow and then they're just laughing they're both laughing i'm like fuck that look like it fucking hurt oh refrigerator perry fucking hit me from behind did you ever be talking to having a conversation with him then the conversation ended and he'd fall oh yeah no yeah i'm like hey listen one time

one time we're talking to him right we're at Penn State we did a college show and we went we're drinking dollar beers at the whatever the fucking bar when the kids go he's talking to these girls and i swear to god he's standing on the front step and he's talking to these girls he's hanging on to the bars and shit and he goes to clap his hands and laugh and lose his balance and he's face first right the fucking right on the ground and nobody helped him i just like they're like go get up he went to the saw fuck you fuck you and i go get up big boy he gets up and we just died laughing oh yeah he would eat shit uh he loved that fireball he drank too much fireball you had to push his fucking asshole i always just tell him anything glass take it from him

because he'd break he'd drop a bonk shattered all over the floor he's all god damn it day pull this bus over we need to get a bong immediately immediately like you're just gonna pull out and fight a guy like there's a bong store in the middle of New Mexico you know this motherfucker boy oh my god it was uh you know i was flat broke and i'm watching this kid making millions in front of me i know and every monday he'd call me and he'd go i'm hopping on the plane right now i'll be in lax and three i'll be in front of your door 530 and he would pick me up at 745 yeah of course joke out i'm downstairs that's it like that was two hours ago yeah i got tied up you know like something happened there ain't that much rope

and he'd fucking get in the car and we go to kushmart and he'd go in the backseat he'd have a little envelope with 20s and i had just rolled and he'd take a whole stack out take me upstairs buy six pounds of wheat and then give me the leftover cash you know yeah i would just die he knew i was doing blow he knew what was going on he just didn't you know his generosity when he had money was i never took advantage of him i never asked him for anything i never asked him to go on the road i he was my friend and i had several conversations with him well i told him i just want you to be my friend because he was such a valuable ally to me yeah he was different than anything i had ever uh you know anybody i had ever been

around before i've hung out with people with good hearts yeah i know what a good heart a guy was and and he was one of those guys you know there was a lot of people took advantage of oh yeah i still to this day don't fucking dig because he took care of everybody even when he was poor i know do you know that no care of people when he was poor when he lived in an apartment he was hustling between gigs he was still taking care of people yeah cooking for people cooking for fucking gardener you know he was just taking care of people you know fucking gardener i was dead the night that motherfucking defriited turkey i never even heard of that shit yeah he defriited turkey six in the morning hey back of gardener deep frying a fucking turkey with six comedians over there

fucking drinking yeah jaymore you know jaymore was a star and he's around his backyard on gardener at six in the fucking morning yeah grilling a fucking turkey it was it was mind-boggling you know everybody went to that house i still remember 9 11 he made a gumbo and we all went to his house and we sat there and we were on disbelief and shit there was a couple arguments shit yeah you know but it was i learned a lot from him as a comedian yeah like a lot like when i not only when i watched him just his demeanor how he was towards people you know uh i used to yell at him constantly to get off the fucking road man oh man us too but he loved he was addicted to it he was addicted to it i'm serious he really was and he would tell him even when he wasn't feeling good

it was our job to get him up you know and he'd tell us we'd be sold out cleveland or whatever it was when he hurt his back and then uh he didn't want to get up i said we have six sold out shows you need to get up and then he started he's all just start 20 minutes late you motherfucking tiddy babies just do about i don't know about 45 fucking minutes and then maybe we'll do intermission like a little intermission in a comedy club motherfucker get up and he would tell us that but then once he got to the club he snapped right into it smiling you know talking to the waitresses and he'd go out there and rock both shows and stand out there with merch even when he felt like shit and that's what we learned from him it doesn't matter the crowd pay to be there be

fucking funny you know and we learned a lot from him about that you know he uh worked really hard to be funny like he uh if you look at his early specials they're fucking brilliant they really are they are i forget the one's name that i fucking love he's just sensational on it you know but he oh just correct probably just correct or something like that he was by the time he got here guys he was already a star like in the making like people knew he got right in the midst he loved him jim masato loved him you know he just took right over it was just a right vehicle to launch and look what it was it was last comic standing yeah coming second place and make a fucking career out of it i mean he would always say that he's like i came in second place and i made a fucking career

out of it you know you didn't have to win the fucking show he would always say you know it's what he made america fall in love with him and it was funny because okay so last comic standing the results come out and i already have houston booked with him it's me him and he's a jody ferdig or john westland it's the first week of july or something like that and i'm excited as fuck i had just i had just done nothing let me tell you what was going on i got a call i was supposed to shoot spider-man 2 july 30th but i got a call like the first week in june then like july 30th what are you talking about you want to get your ass down here and get the wardrobe you're shooting next week i'm like what are you talking about i'm going to fucking tell houston next week they're

like just come on down so i went down to sonia i got my wardrobe the whole thing i'm like guys i got booked to work one day i signed the contract for one day scale 695 a day everybody advised me against it everybody was like you shouldn't work for scale fuck them it's the second one they made millions while a friend of mine said go in there and argue and they're gonna give it to somebody else watch just shut your mouth do the movie it's one line what do you care yeah when i went down there that day for wardrobe i said i might work on one thing they're like i think you've been lied to they go come with me and they walked me to this fucking room where the whole story board was it was mind-boggling you know like i'm a fucking heart-rated comic with

a cocaine problem you know right and here i am in this fucking art room at sony with the boards and they said your board starts here which is yeah next tuesday and you're gonna be on till august 3rd and i go what are you talking about i got dates booked this shit and i'm like well you better get it straight now because they shot those train scenes and at the end i only got 13 14 days for one line wow because there was days i had to stand there and there was days that they didn't know if i was gonna stand there or not so it would make me go to my fucking thing but the long story short was i got spider-man too and i couldn't go down there with him and i heard that when he pulled up in houston that line was around the block and people had signed and they were saying

fuck that fan fuck that fan fuck that fan like it was fucking crazy at first like he created he went from one thing to another overnight even though he was a headliner already like that was what hurt everybody else on last comic standing over the years that wasn't a true headliner at the time that they either won or placed on that show right do you know what i'm saying oh yeah rafi was already blowing fucking stages up he already moved up here in that feature he was headlining in texas already oh yeah he was already drawing in texas like in houston he was drawing at daddy martinez he was drawing he was already drawing at those clubs when he came up here you know he was like any other comic struggling but people knew who the fuck he was and then last

comic got him up but then he just got even stronger yeah with that winning last comic he fucking did complete 180 you know that was his market though it went wherever his hometowns were but houston was outrageous we don't have enough time we can tell you crazy stories about houston but they loved him there when the tour bus pulled in it was on we couldn't sleep on the tour bus because they were banging on the motherfucker all night you know because he had his fucking orange jacket on that first tour across the whole side of the goddamn tour bus is the biggest picture of rafi you've ever seen in your fucking life i'm like motherfucker they can already see you already and now you're gonna put a size of a rouse truck sticker on the side of your fucking bus they're gonna knock on it all night

he's like i fucking baby maybe they'll bring some good drugs to the bus and shit i'm like yeah that ain't all they're gonna fucking bring to that bus but they'd knock on it rock the motherfucker would you guys sleep on the bus yeah only on travel but then when we get to the town we would get the hotel or the condo and so we would you know but he loved to be on it he'd stay on it stay on you know they're banging out he would just call us and goes hey come on here and get my gun there's people banging on the bus i said all right so then we go get the gun to ak-47 or whatever we'd be sitting with fucking these people don't even know we're sitting with fucking ak's yeah like fuck and he's like hey if they get crazy just let me do the shooting i'm the millionaire

he said i'm the millionaire y'all yeah he's uh yeah maybe cori he's got a good shot let cori out there shoot he's like a favor the two lawyers and we kill anybody is that all right but that's how it was you know but it was that was the thing though Ralphie when you talk about cooking he one time we were down for like six days we're in middle of fucking Nebraska and he goes hey go to wal-mart and and get us a goddamn barbecue a smoker and get one of them little chief smokers i'm like what the fuck what would you get to kill a fucking deer out here what are you gonna do and he's like oh and stop by the store and get a bunch of meat and he gave me this fucking list on jan and we gave us a couple thousand bucks i'm like we don't need a fucking you know a half a cow

he's like yeah we do baby we'll go get it so we he'd be smoking at two we'd get done with the shows he'd smoke all night and we'd eat breakfast you know six in the morning we'd eat brisket and shit yeah he'd cook at night all night all night that was his thing that he loved all night loved it we'd be listening to classic rock or wake us up smoking reefer and he'd wake us up because we couldn't hang with him and then he'd wake us up go all right baby we're having brisket for an eggs wake your ass up that is let me tell you and i'm not saying the wrong way because you know how i feel about it yeah that is the most redneck thing in the world and you know who i was did that yeah who was the king of that my mother really cooking a fucking eight course meal at 3 a.m in your

fucking drunkenness yeah like i mean when you i would wake up to like what are you talking about i just want cereal yeah like i just want cereal rice beans a pork cooked sliced thin fried bananas oh fuck like why did you cook this i was hungry i'm not hungry no more you know like shit like that my stepfather same thing there's people i don't know anybody who does that anymore yeah like when i met rafi that was the first person i know who did that since i was growing up like when i was growing up maybe we go to the halloway's house and eat late night but the father wouldn't get up and fucking cook for us yeah none of that shit no we go to his house and raid whatever left over is we did that to all the houses yeah for people that don't know those

type of people that you live with them and then you either got two choices you can either stay up or stay up that was that was it that was it with rafi our lives changed instantly we we thought we knew what the comedy business was even like eight nine years into the game before we started touring hard with them we thought we knew and then he took us onto the tour bus we i remember he was like he called us up and he's like hey fly to chicago and i'm like like we have money like we have money saved just to fly to chicago and i was like you you get the chicago he's all then you'll go home in six months you're gonna go on tour i'm like what the fuck and i'm like are you bullshitting he's like get the chicago i got something going so as we got there the motherfucker's cooking chili and

spaghetti who the fuck makes chili and spaghetti i knew you baby yeah oh because he had a full kitchen you know out of the bus yeah full there's i've never seen this oh okay what has happened i've never seen this okay his room has it listen the the the bus pops out on the sides but his room has a california king bed 50 inch tv yeah he had a shower he's everything he needs not as i mean we're grateful but we were jerking off in a casket fucking out by the shitter we're sleeping in the you know the bunks you know going down the hall this was dave matthew's bus so dave matthew sold it to rafi and and it was hooked up i mean it has everything hardwood floors this motherfucker has everything yeah there was a comedian in austin who had a joke about it oh really yeah

the guy who uh feature for you yeah yeah i don't know but i remember him mentioning you're right but but yeah we would show up and this motherfucker has everything and he's just so welcoming he's like this is your house now put your bag you know this is your house now you taught us how to make lattes and espresso because he had a full fucking starbucks machine i'm talking like a five thousand dollar fucking starbucks chrome fucking stainless machine i was making lattes i was a professional motherfuckers within a week i he's a barista you know and ralf that's how he lived you know he just was so welcoming and if you got invited not everyone got invited in the bus but if you did you were family you know he just took care of you that's how he was there's not many people

like that our own mother doesn't even fucking treat us like that you know but he's a fucking he was just the greatest when he came to that shit but he told me better than well told me better for ralfie how to respect yeah monday february 19th what are you gonna do i want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart huh some somebody twice as smart as i do i'm really happy that you did one thing you guys said one thing tonight you confirmed to lee syat that i am not crazy i don't know about that but what do you mean lee thinks i'm personally

crazy but i know i learned how to become a comic from a couple of people yeah but there was two main people i learned how to become a comic from and that was i watched joe rogan every night and i watched ralfie whenever i could yeah even when he was broke i watched ralfie you know what i'm saying i mean i was there when he was fucking uh nothing in that apartment where he kept breaking the toilet he broke it on the bus just so you know at least five and we had to replace the shitty plastic one on a bus with a real goddamn toilet a real toilet they got to order them like the 500 like the 600 pound man yeah you got to order you just can't move in and then fucking steel plate because it ripped out one day ralfie was shitting on the thing and fit fell over like

Elvis and with that goddamn wall fucking fell over he fell over and the board driver and he's like hey some of you motherfuckers better come in here and get me i said oh my god i said you had shit all over that his dick's out i go hey put your dick away mother like i said god damn boy i got a look at you i told you i go take a picture we're selling this shit to tmc right now he was high as fuck he was and the poor driver had to clean it up the poor fucking driver had to clean up that fucking disaster a time go outside but he was paying that dude oh please he told him he was i know he made more than everybody the driver made more than s i was like this is that what what movie is that oh scarface when he makes himself a fool the restaurant and the bodyguard first

man's a guy money and then he thinks about it for a second he gives him more money and at the end he sees what he's got for laughter and he says i might as well this guy's making a he just walks out after it yeah poor poor guy that guy but he was a good guy i don't like ralfie he loved him and he was a real good guy and took care of us in every way possible i probably couldn't even tell you about right now but anything we needed he took care of it so he's a good guy what did you learn comedy wise from you said before that you know the show and joke joke structure and and and the one thing that he with being a duo he would he broke it down to wear and us being identical twins and like even in high school in the college we took theater arts we took anything we didn't have homework

so we played sports anything went over home back we were in there yeah i don't shop wood shop anything that that we knew they weren't going to sign homework that's what the fuck we took but we learned but the joke structure he broke it down by telling us he was like when when when they watch you you know and he was critiquing us about either stepping on each other's lines talking over each other tonal voice he hated our beards he kept telling us to shave all the time uh what we wore and the whole he broke us down like if he were fucking simon cowell and he literally just broke every day and and he told us to he said you know he he doesn't even have to listen to what we're saying he said i listened to the crowd laugh it's like a roller coaster he goes you guys got him

and then it's quiet and then you got him and you got him you got him and you know and then he's down again he goes he goes i just know you did good i don't even know what the fuck you talked about but i can know by listening to the crowd how you he said uh laughs per minute he always fuck with us you know you need more laughs per minute hit him harder and that's what you tell us he goes i don't even need to listen to you no more i just listened to the laughs it's crazy i've been doing comedy for 27 years i don't need to watch it yeah i can hear you from the green room yeah listen to the audience really you're listening and sometimes i can get up i'm a fucking comic yeah i have to listen the ears are the most important gift when you're a comic

if you don't fucking listen you'll never move on that's gonna help you with a one-man show that's gonna help you with acting that's gonna help you with a thousand things in your life is listening listening to the i'm fucking deaf because when i'm on stage my ears work so fucking hard i want to hear the fucking i want to hear you staring the glass yeah do you understand me it's like you develop the spider sense after 20 years it takes about 20 22 years you know where you develop look at the leaves like 22 years it goes by like that how long have you guys been gonna be 15 years how fast did it go by it feels like we were just doing one minute you were doing open mics the next minute you're in ontario one wednesday a month

the last minute you're selling out a fucking place yeah and the next minute you're on the road with Ralph you fucking made learning the education of life yeah life within a bus a guy with money how he acts how you handle it post time you know post time means listen at two i i didn't even sleep last night and then at six two midget chicks came over we did a fucking $20 bag of H we fucked till 10 you know what i'm saying then i took a nap then i got up and johnny benihana came over and made some mistakes for us i took another nap and now they wake you up at 7 15 going show times at eight what do you want me to do and you get up your 500 fucking pounds half of you mother fuckers can't get up after that yeah this 500 pound mammoth man would pick those fat little legs up sit on

that edge of that bed for five minutes yeah and that listen you're talking to a 400 pound do that one time you just get fired up and you think about your childhood and you think about your past and where you've been and how come you're selling out the ontario fucking improv but there's not a picture of you and no fucking improv because he hated that shit he ripped somebody's picture down one night okay he did it with us too okay right right and they know if they're listening yeah yeah yeah he would think of that now that's what a real comic does you know a couple weeks ago rogan was talking to people and on a podcast and he goes look at the ads i figured out the ads after a while the ads do not listen to what he says to you before you go on stage especially if he picks a fight

with you he's dying to pick a fight with you he's dying to argue with you he's dying for you to have the wrong shirt on or the wrong pair of shoes because he's not fucking with you he's firing himself up to get on stage that i saw him do that one night like sit we were in new york at cattle lines and when i woke him up he would you know i mean let's be honest dear people he didn't become 500 pounds because he got up and jogged in the morning yeah right he landed in new york at two in the afternoon he got to the fucking room at three i got to the room at four thirty the tray of chocolate and this gorgeous manhattan hotel which was nine thousand a night was gone all the rappers went to garbage that's a sugar high like a coke fiend doing an eight ball

of coke and then at seven he would fucking you know doze up with his glasses all fucked up yeah and he would get up and it was post time yeah and then you'd see him 20 minutes later and he was up there like a ballerina as graceful as can be you know i'm saying then later on he had to start sitting guys yeah yeah he started sitting and then he's leaning up we started noticing too even in the past couple years he would start outstanding and then he'd sit for the last the last bit you know the last hour he would sit and then he'd stand up to close you know and we started noticing it's funny you said that we've noticed that he went from standing the whole two hours to what sitting a lot gentlemen i tried to go to jujitsu's a week i got kettle bells in my backyard i have

a punching bag i really stay active that's good uh when i started comedy even after the longest yard i was never a headliner i was a feature act they headlined me because i had been in a movie and whatnot after i saw those people in 2009 my attitude changed you know like somebody once said to me uh i've been doing comedy for three years i was a headline and i told somebody and they were like listen comedy's like uh pens all you can either pay me now or you could pay me later you gotta put the fucking time in yeah you know and what we talking about putting time in for comedy you know you gotta put the fucking time in yeah it's not overnight like you said no and look at look at how fortunate you guys i mean if anything anything someday you guys are going to be telling

your children your grandchildren these stories that you got to work with one of the greatest comedians of our time you know if you rank 10 top comics he's got to be in there and that's comedian wise i don't care whether you like him i don't care whether you like his style i don't care whether you like that he didn't like because he said the word nigger on stage yeah i don't i know you had a lot of disagreements with him but i'm telling you as a fellow comic when you read the comedy 101 book he was in there he was in there he used the pattern he was a true professional which by by me watching him helped me become a headline now today i'm a headline you want to fuck me motherfucker yeah you want to fuck me mother you

know what i'm saying yeah 20 years ago when i thought i was a headliner because the improv's and all the funny bones headline yeah that doesn't make your headline no there's a point where you find out you're a headline yeah when you you know you're like Jesus christ i have a different influence over them now right this is swan and that's when you can't believe it like i started going to the fourth wall in north hollywood it's five minutes for five hours the only joey are you that stupid it's because it's like going back to when you started now you're sitting with kids that had the same dream we had when you sat in front of last comic standing yeah how did you guys feel sitting in front of a building in front of last comic standing why did you go down

like we were watching headliners well just to be we got humbled actually we were like three years into it at that time three four years and we we had a hot 20 minutes at best and maybe even 12 and a half minutes and we thought we had enough time and i remember we did a set at the melrose improv and we were leaving there and i told my brother i go remember the auditions are seven a.m. monday and i go we should be bad motherfuckers and just stay right here and he was like stay right here right now remember we debated it out that whole night and then chad called the hotel down the street and we got a room for the next three nights a hostel a hostel and we we would swap in and that's how hungry we were we wanted to do it just to see if we would get on the show

first of all but second of all we did it to try to go to the next fucking level but we didn't realize we weren't ready you don't know until you know we just weren't ready and the comedians were coming by us and i remember uh different people were like what the fuck are you guys doing out here you know for for like two nights we were the only people in line people didn't start getting in line until saturday night when they saw that fucking homeless were standing behind us thinking it's a soup kitchen waiting for a fucking free bowl of soup you know everyone was just standing in line you didn't know what you were standing the line just went down the fucking all the way down to the 101 almost you know it was a fucking line for last comic standing in that second third but

you know we didn't we didn't get the show and this is this is true shit joey we fucking we get kicked off last comic standing we start walking down meadows this car pulls up and says are you twins i said go fuck yourself we're pissed we sent for four fucking days go fuck yourself he goes no listen if you're twins i'm a producer would you like to do a tv show so he hands us his card i don't call him i'm fucking pissed that i slept on the street for four fucking days i call him that monday come on down we don't even know what show we're on we're just on a tv show we find out we're on that show are you smarter than a fifth grader with jeff oxford we had no fucking idea this before it was even before it wasn't even on tv it was just a fucking like a pile it was just something

that they were filming well skip ahead we got 175 grand off that show so we got kicked off last comic standing and then we got that so it worked out the way Ralph he told us he's like listen don't be fucking idiots and you know we only knew him for a couple years at this point he goes you take that money and you invest it into your comedy buy t-shirts and go on the road and do pizza plays anywhere that'll fucking have even if you lose money you have money and we started following him around so whatever town we'd run into him on purpose and he'd let us open that was our whole plan we're like oh Ralph he's in fucking Detroit we need to show up in Detroit and we would just drive our knees on ultimate wherever the fuck we needed to go and we do gigs at fucking karaoke

wherever and that's what we would do and that's how we spent that money most people would blow it we spent it on fucking going around trying to develop a headline act you know and it took well more than 10 years for us yeah well more than 10 years to get an hour i mean last night we did an hour we did a show with you and we did an hour and 15 for a bunch of drug addicts was the greatest night we had a great time but it took us that long because of Ralphie he helped us get there we wouldn't have done it we would have blown our money i would have bought drugs and bitches garen fucking teed and Ralphie's on no go on the road and that's what we did i mean who gives you advice like that our friends would tell us go buy blow you know uh i don't tell you when

you tweet me because but now people know the situation i don't go see you guys as much as i want to because a yeah i do the pub kiss on wednesday sometimes but b i have a fucked up here they get carsick oh i mean last week i went to shoot i'm dying up here and i got there with puke on my shirt and puke on the car on the 405 it's getting worse i'm having a little imprint put in and then i'll be down there you guys run a a great dirty show yeah in Ontario for fucking 10 years it's uh 12 years 12 years and then i went down there twice you gave away dildos yep you gave me mad money you got me high but there was chicks showing their tits i mean it's fucking insanity down there it is so if you ever get a chance i mean i'm not wrapping up but

i'm just trying to tell people that and i talk about it all the time this is a tonight's a comedian podcast it's the struggle and we're also honoring our good dear friend it would have been it was a i don't know how old he would have been yesterday oh he would have been 46 46 that's what i thought so it's just uh let me give some shout out to you all right i want to fucking shout out rick akins chris cobain rj keiger brine styles latisha katin my man bob lalingus and thank you for the dr j original picture g tweets adam house mason schroeder i love all you motherfuckers i love my man bobby lalingus always uh i called him last week we talked for a little while sharp dude i miss his dad he misses his dad we're fucking family so that's that no i'm happy that uh i got to sit

with you and do a show last night yeah that was fun you know you're always welcome to come on here you guys the real motherfuckers down last night you gave me some great news that after 12 years of selling out they finally uh gave you some tour dates and shit like that yeah so you guys are getting started what's that what's the web page they can find you set identical entertainment it's our company but you can just find us on all social media cori in chat c o r y the letter n c h ad you find us on that and we post all of our gigs you know no it's uh the education that a real comic inflicts on because i i love young comics yeah i love young comics but you know who's faking the funk and i know who's really doing what they're doing by the look in their eye that's why i went

back to the fourth wall like i said it's like rocky three when apollo took him back to the ghetto right we had a gym with music and opera singers and shit and apollo's like what are you doing we're going back to the ghetto look at their eyes that's where your eyes used to look like 12 years ago sure you know i went on the road for one i just got dischanted it's all about ticket sales it's not about you know you can you can lie to stick it down listen you know here we guys like us work for 20 years they won't give us a headline week and some guy goes up there takes a butane tag blows smoke up his ass and he's selling out yeah and we got our feelings for it because we realize it's all about ticket sales it's all about ticket sales when you're selling tickets they love

you when you're not and it's amazing to go through that education and to see rafi i went rafi i went you know i saw rafi when he was the big fat guy in bowmont text and let's go see him you know what i'm saying yeah but it turned into something fucking else like the theaters and stuff and just watching that will stay with you guys for it's an education oh we learned a lot and what you do in a club i mean you you'll learn this what you do in a club you're not doing in a theater you know the theater show is completely different than a club and we learned that like real fucking oh yeah i'm gonna take him up to the world burn let him out oh yeah hey and the fucking boston crowd i'm from boston but don't matter hey don't matter don't matter you got 10 seconds you got

and you got you got 10 seconds with that and i'm gonna give him a long 18 you know what i'm saying yeah he'll detonate by 20 he'll start going into boston just i remember when i lived in boston they wouldn't deliver pizza thing you know what i'm saying why are you just digging why are you saying my material that was his closer that was his close it's crazy how you really uh it's a psychological like i'm looking at now like i can't believe i survived 25 years like you guys did you ever look at the drive home go oh what the fuck was just what the fuck yeah we do that all the time like when we because it's been a while since we worked with you and we're leaving uh you know the ice house drive it down to the uh n a a show we were doing i told chat i go man it's a big

difference between uh you know years ago working with you and now it's like and and the friendship and bond and i remember we used to do shows with you like crazy fucking bar show bar show you know oh my god we got to liam's remember liam yeah we done a lot of shit when he was 909 on a Tuesday night yeah they always gave me like 128 dollars yeah yeah like they can never give me the 150 just give me the 150 and i'm making have them you pay 128 why 128 who's taking a 22 dollar commission but we'll give you some buffalo wings we'll give you wings and shit you know i love that you're still man perfect i never forget that you don't ever forget that you never forget listen li those are the things that those are the things that you'll sit there one day in your office and you're sitting

there looking at your pictures and listening you're like i'm in that motherfucker yeah he never even gave us a 65 dollars did he no he did we have a list of mother we have a list we all have a list we have a mental level really you just this is it and at the time it seems so big because it's gonna understand that it's 75 dollars and i need 60 for the rent and if i give the drug deal of 15 he might give me a quarter grand tonight then i definitely need you know people don't understand when you go to a gig and i'm like how about you we go to a gig and you need the cash and somebody throws a check at you yes oh yeah tucson we got fucked in tucson we needed it go go we need it and they give us a check we looked them we go you better come up with some cash luckily uh

somehow we got a tip from a fucking fan a fan on the late show fucking fan gave us each a hundred dollar bill that's the only way we got home you know we had a fucking check and a fan gave us a hundred dollar bill the end is like i've never seen guys like you here's a hundred bucks and we looked at each other we almost started crying we couldn't believe it we're gonna get we're gonna get fucking some weed some beer and drive home now yeah it's maybe some fucking cracker barrel or something out of the way back off a house we needed it bad you got any dates coming up man uh next weekend we're in uh Sacramento uh february you know 23rd through the 25th we're at last unlimited uh next wednesday ontario improv we're in uh zany's

april 21st ontario's already sold out it is yeah it is but there might be a couple but it's always sold out it's already zany's and nashville in april the 21st and 22nd and uh just sporadic ones we start picking up steam and we're back in pittsburgh you know in the summer you know they're redoing the pittsburgh improv as soon as it's done we're back there so we're just glad we're finally getting fucking gigs you know i wanted to bring you on the show also uh apologize to both of you personally for not attending the raffie may memorial i need to apologize to you guys as men that i had a reasoning why i don't uh yeah i do hold grudges and um he was a big mentor to me as a brother and uh you know everything he was to you guys you know and uh i don't know i just

wanted to be like this i wanted to be southern style i didn't want it to be hollywood style i understood once i heard the attendees and what had happened yeah and what happened the day afterward i was sick to my stomach but the only person i felt i had to apologize to was to you too because i know how much you loved them and i know when you heard the news you're both shattered for days oh man and you'll be shattered for years i still have not erased his phone oh yeah i got the greatest voice no no don't don't play don't play don't play but i haven't deleted his number and i won't no me neither i love teeter so uh i want to thank you both thank you for joining me and we will always work together on february 17th okay whatever day it falls on you and i will

always do a show okay even if it's in hoboken new jersey wherever yeah we'll be there we'll show together i will be uh then it is sold out but i will be at huntsville alabama stand up uh march first to the third and then i'll be at nyak new york at uh what's the name of it levity live march 21st at eight p.m i want to thank uh cori and chad for coming back on again thanks brother and for being the motherfuckers that y'all i want to thank those two guys i like those two fucking savages i always have they've done a great job down in ontario with the dirty show well let's change the subject real quick uh let me talk to you people about some i got a thousand watches at the house i got a call one day from the marketing lady and she goes uh take a look at

this man sarah watches we had watches before and i didn't like them they didn't sell right and nobody even went to the thing i thought they were more expensive than what the ad so i always look at stuff before i i send it to lee and leo say yeah maybe no you know i looked at this pincero watches and i was like you know what there's something here a couple days later i get one in the mail i get two of them in the mail a gold plated one like a silver plated one i put them on and i put a jacket on that night and i put the watch on i just loved how it looked so on this one here this is a white on silver let me show the camera here they can see it's a beautiful little white on silver pattern you got the two clocks in there i mean honestly guys when it arrived i was

blown away i was and when i looked at the prices and i looked at what i had on that's what really blew me away i mean they feel great on the wrist honestly i received a lot of compliments the beautiful watch i'm telling you on the silver one that i have on uh right now a few more zeros attached to the price so it's a bit depressing but guys if you're in the market for a great watch i like to wreck your attention to a sweet piece on my wrist i absolutely loved the vincero vincero is a dope brand because they make watches that look and feel luxurious while still giving you outfit that distinct unique look and you know i'm not you know i'm not into outfits but it ensures you are complimented by people say i like that joey your wrist looks good

when your buddies are wearing their little apple watches you'll be like what look at look at this moron bang look at my vincero like a savage like i said i'm i'm wearing a simple t-shirt and i put a nice vincero watch on i look like rocky too that that's just the way it is i picked out this beautiful silver one with the with this uh metal band and i got a lot like i said even my wife says it looks good my personal favorite is this one the white with the black or the white on the silver but i also like the gold trim also with the same style i don't know the name of this style so don't be mad at me all right now watches like these they go for 500 for a small nickel but when vincero they started $150 are you kidding me or what don't take our word for it they got

6505 star reviews all right listen do me a favor just get the watch elevate your watch game right now you want a sling dick this is how you do it you want to walk into a bar and people say that's an important man get a vincero watch go check out vincero at getthewatch.net right now go look at these watches i'm not i'm not breaking your chops for a buck and a half these watches are phenomenal they're heavy they feel solid on your wrist even better vincero's giving all church the family 15 percent off their entire purchase with promo code church at checkout listen come on knock it off with that little dirty watch you got on that it's time to step up your watch game go check vincero at getthewatch.net again vincero at getthewatch.net i like that look on your face Lee it's a look at

i'm going deep tonight forget about it don't worry about nothing here you go people listen i know people like going to vegas in the atlantic city could be a blast you go to a strip club get your saminkya sucked but personally i'm a big fan of like watching people play blackjack and poke and stuff like that sometimes i win you know me i'm a mortadell i can't i'm like i'm i gotta leave with me he can't this poor kid can't don't blame me if you you're the kiss of death sometimes i win but not so much but i always got a good time the problem is getting to vegas i ain't got time to get the mule to go to vegas that ain't that easy for me i got a wife i got a kid but ever since i found my b casino betting from the comfort of my cousin there has been simple

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going to drop me off right there in huntsville we're taking over fucking huntsville for fucking five shows so either getting you out i don't listen i don't go down in that deep so if you want to if you want to form one of those small neighborhoods get on the mule right now you'll make it that my march first because i ain't coming back till fucking atlanta next year so i switch it around so if you live in atlanta get on that fucking car and drive the three hours cocksuckers i'll see you guys next week i want to thank my brothers quarry and chad at quarry and chad they're fucking everywhere they're savages i want to thank my jewish christ killer over here lisa yad stay black have a great monday

fuck it um Mirror, mirror, got my faith lying in your hands You're the fool, you're the juggler You're the lover, you're the lover Take a look into my eyes, tell me what to say Take a look into my eyes, tell me what to say Take a look into my eyes, tell me what to say

Isn't it me? Mirror, mirror, got a road just so hard to see A crystal ball, it makes me so slim, so sleazy Mirror, mirror, got my faith lying in your hands You make me stumble, make me blind Turn, turn and line by line Take a look into my eyes, tell me what to say Take a look into my eyes, tell me what to say

Take a look into my eyes, tell me what to say Take a look into my eyes, tell me what to say Mirror, mirror, got a road just so hard to see Mirror, mirror, got my faith lying in your hands Mirror, mirror, got my faith lying in your hands You're the fool, you're all the trouble And let it all out like I know all the story Tell me look into my eyes, tell me what you see

Tell me look into my eyes, tell me the truth Tell me look into my eyes, look into my eyes My head was faster than theirs Tell me look into my eyes, tell me the truth Tell me look into my eyes, I believe Tell me look into my eyes Tell me to my eyes Tell me to my eyes

Tell me to my eyes Tell me to my eyes Tell me to my eyes Tell me to my eyes Tell me to my eyes Thank you