Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #577 - A.J. Benza

Episode Date: April 18, 2018

A.J. Benza, the former gossip columnist for the New York Daily News and the host of the "Fame is a Bitch" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    

Greetings to podcastville the church of what's happened now is brought to you by zip recruiter. Listen to me Are you hiring? Every business needs great people and a better way to find them is Something better than posting your job online and just praying for the right people to see it All right, because if you're hiring zip recruiter is the way to go zip recruiter learns what you're looking for Identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job now. Do me a favor right now today My listeners the church of what's happening now the family

You can try zip recruiter for free. That's free right now Just go to zip recruiter comm slash church that zip recruiter comm slash church and give zip recruiter a try right now It's the smartest way to hire zip recruiter comm slash church. Take that motherfucking mule Lee Wednesday morning Headed to Columbus, Ohio It's sold out Thank You church But fuck it. We got business to take care of

AJ Benz is here the Christ killers here and the Kings of Rocker here led Zeppelin With one of their masterpieces In You will How Robert plant smoother Oh, fuck! This was the power one right here. The power one.

Now listen, tremendous. Tremendous. And this is Abe, this is John Baum, this is epic man. This makes you wanna suck a dick. He come out with those tight jeans on with his dick to the left. You love to shit. Shate your love. It's Wednesday, motherfuckers.

Rise and shine, bitches. This is it. You had your doubts, it's too late now, you're in. You're in, motherfuckers. Here we go! Right now you're starting to nod on that power one and shit, and they suck you back in with this too. They're such geniuses, watch this part here. Here we go, see they suck you back right there. Right back the way. Now you're on the acid.

You're looking for your mother. It's all over, you know what I'm saying? Whatever that is at the end gets me. No, no, no, no, no. Stay designed. That's fucking John Paul Jones on an organ, which transmits designers from Martians and shit. It's a church of what's happened now, motherfuckers. Casual conversation today with my main man, and well-known fucking everything. A.J. Benzuch.

What do you say to Uncle Joey, Lee? You know, fucking trying to put the pieces together. I gotta go to Columbus, Ohio. Oh nice, Columbus. It's an Air Force town, I think. I don't know what it is. It's a comedy fucking town. Is it? Yeah, a lot of, that club's been there forever.

Yeah. And people go there and nod. Well, what do you guys do in Ohio? I mean, before the Cavaliers were good, think of a Friday night in Ohio. You got a ton of shit to do. Do you? I mean, I'm talking about... Well, you gotta figure, Canton is the capital of Gambling.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, that's the capital. Columbus has shit going on? Columbus is a college. Oh, okay, yeah, I didn't know that. I don't travel like that. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's really weird when you travel, when you start to learn the demographics of different cities,

and then you know you've been on the road for a long time when the demographic of that city changes. Right. So, let's say for years you did Gotham, but all of a sudden the hottest club in the country is in the Meatpacking District. Oh, I live there, I know. And next thing you know, you're in the Meatpacking District

where you wouldn't go to 20 years ago. Different people. That's where they're... That's where the restaurants are now, that's where the iconic club is now. Highline is up there, hotels. It's so weird how you've seen the demographics of cities change over the years.

In El Paso, for years, it was the one side of the town. Sure. Then all of a sudden they built up downtown. That guy bought the building, he ate a bag of dicks, nobody came to the club no more. We got to relocate now and sell the building. What was Austin like 25 years ago? Quiet.

Yeah. Very, you know, it's weird when you go to Austin. I spoke to the girl, I want to give her a shout out from the Santa Ana Casino, and she was thinking about Austin or Denver as a city to move to. And I told her that in most cities right now that everybody's moving there.

Yeah. Like Atlanta was 20 years ago. Yeah. Like everybody's moving to Austin. Austin. And Austin's fucking crowded as fuck. Right, right. I still love Austin with all my heart.

I was just there with Lee. The food is on the fucking map. It was great. Yeah, I heard that. The people off the map. But you've seen the growth now. It doesn't take seven minutes to get to the comedy club no more, it takes 15.

The traffic is doubled, you know. I haven't been to Houston in a while, but after Katrina it changed the dynamic of the city. Sure. That changed. Listen, that changed the geography of America. Not only just because of what happened to New Orleans, but where the displaced people went.

It changed economies. It changed the way people lived. Restur- I mean think of everything that changed. Suddenly you got hundreds of people displaced from Louisiana who are used to that food, used to that music, and I'm sure places in those other regions took that on. You know?

Well, a lot of people went to Houston. Yeah, Houston's a big spot. Right. The funny thing is when I went to Albuquerque this last weekend, I went to Jackson Wink gym. I want to give them a shout out to the best gym in the country. Oh yeah, I heard about that. These are their John Jones,

Howley Holmes, their great, you know, they set up a strategy for a fighter, Cowboy Sorones there. Oh, Cowboy Sorones, I don't know. I had the pleasure of going and visiting the gym, and the gentleman, Mike, who picked me up and drove me back and forth,

was telling me the film explosion in Albuquerque, and how they're shooting everything. Yeah, they still got the tax break. They got the tax break, yeah. And when those guys were shooting break and battle, I don't know how they bought houses down there, but they had to sell the houses because of the high burglary and crime rate.

Really? Your car gets broken into a lot there. From Mexicans and shit from over the border? Who knows? Who knows? Who's doing it? It's funny. This is a funny story.

About 20 years ago, when I used to go on the road years ago, I was a big reader. When I first moved here, I was enamored with the mafia because from my second audition to my sixth, it was all mob characters. Of course, of course.

And I went out for a movie here that was never made, and it was about a Queens crew. I don't know. Oh, the people were fucking morons. Anybody who shows up with a mob script nine out of 10 times is a fucking moron. Every mobster I know eventually had a script. So we had to go down to that building

on Sunset and Vine on the bottom, on the corner. They used to be a building. They just got redone. There's a coffee bean across the street. And there's a little seafood restaurant that blows across the street. I ordered spaghetti and clam sauce with shrimp,

and they gave me shrimp out of a can. I almost fucking lost my mind. That should burn it down. So I went there, and the guy offered me a ton of money for this movie. And I'll never forget that. He asked me about these characters, and I didn't know.

I knew that world, but I didn't know who he was talking about. And I went on the road, and I would go to True Crime, and every $500 I got, half of it went to blow, but half of it went to Barnes & Noble. I just used to buy.

I hate used books. I hate when somebody else reads a fucking book. Yeah, it drives me crazy. I want to read the book first. Really? Yeah, it drives me crazy. They taking a bathroom. They ship it.

Who the fuck knows? I don't want to read nobody else's fucking book. It's all tagged up. So I, unless I know you, you give me the book out of my mind. That's a fucking shitty paper. So I started reading all this True Crime shit, and I read about this guy.

I read about Whitsack. There was a book called Whitsack for a while. I know that one. And in Whitsack, they gave a lot of information, for them to give out this much information. There was a guy who wrote about the pitfalls of Whitsack.

I don't know what that is. This book wants to come out in 97. What's Whitsack? Whitsack, the witness location. Oh, okay. I'm like, I thought it was an area. It was all about, Oh, about that.

When monsters do the Whitsack program, how hard their lives become. Like, they had the example of the guy that went in, but while he went in, he made a cookbook. And he got on Letterman, and the friends are like, I remember that. Are you fucking retarded? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You cannot go on David Letterman. And he said, I'm going on David Letterman. So he told the fence to go fuck themselves. He got the David Letterman, David Letterman canceled him. Said, I can't put you on now, because you created too much fucking habit.

So it was fucking crazy, but it had about the towns that they set up. Whitsack was a book about the towns they had set up. The government had set up towns to put different witness relocations in that town. So it would be easy for them to monitor. Sure. Hysterical.

And they had the list of cities, and then they took the book and they wrapped it around Henry Hill, really. Sure. It wasn't about Henry Hill, but they had an exam. It was the most famous rat for a while. Of how the witness relocation plan is really destructive, just because you move them to fucking Nebraska

doesn't mean they stop stealing. They go fucking bananas. They go fucking bananas. You know, I'm driving down the street and I see these people who don't lock their doors. What are you fucking crazy? I'm gonna rob it. Your garage is open with a tractor.

I know. I know a guy on my trail is down the corner. So the prom they were having, the reign of recidivism, they even did a movie called My Blue Heaven. It was a brilliant movie where they took all the stories of how that's what happens.

So they would move, let's say me and Benza, I was with the Gambino's and Benza was with the fucking Genevies. They would take us and put us both in a suburb of Houston and like take their chances of us bumping into each other. Yeah. I know.

And how many people in the town were witness protection? They would put like 30%, 3%, 4%, 6%, but they wouldn't put two mobsters in there. No, right, right, right. They put two mobsters, a Jew attorney who had information on Narcos,

a couple that did drug pushing for the Cali Cartel. So you would know. These would just be regular people, but it was easier for the feds to monitor this town. One of the towns that they had when I went to Albuquerque was, I think they reeled something.

And that was one of the cities that they mentioned in this book. And I heard through the years that that's where they sent Big Joe Messino. Oh, wow, yeah. Interesting. So I'm doing radio down there and I'm talking to him and I go,

that's funny because I heard Big Joe Messino down there and the guy goes, that's funny because the name of the restaurant, the best Italian restaurant, Big Joe's Italian restaurant. When Sammy the Bull went to open, he opened up a restaurant in Phoenix and the slogan of it was

the best kept secret and tempest is got there. Best kept secret. Are you fucking kidding me? Right in their face. Right in their face. And that's a Weinstein 8 by accident, complete accident. I had a story that

you showed up at fucking Sammy's joint thinking it was low, whatever you thought, but it was the worst place to go. And it's also funny. You know, of all the places to go, you got to go to Sammy. Maybe he was told to go there because he did mob wives on TV.

Maybe he heard from Karen Gravano that her dad opened the place and I got to get him on the show. No, the dad doesn't own them anymore. They locked up, they sold it. And I think the mother went back to work there for a while. But I thought it's still family-owned in some capacity, or maybe it was.

No, once the feds come in back to sea, you lose everything. No, because the restaurant was like 700,000 a month. He was cleaning up. He was making some dough. I can't imagine, because I didn't grow up with the internet.

I came when I was a teenager. But even when Joe, you have stories of going to Florida to be on the lam. But I don't even think that's possible really anymore. It'd be really hard. You got to go to a beach, went to beach town.

No, I could do it. Yeah, my friend did a couple years ago. But you wouldn't be stupid to know about a comedy club called Joey's or Coco's. No, no, no, no, no. You put a hat, you shave your head, you put a hat on.

Sure. You mix into the community, but not really. Just enough so you don't stand out? Just enough so you don't stand out. Sure. You don't make any commotions. You're not out at night at all.

You have to live like in the third season of Narcos at the end. They said that the guy, Sal Sano, that ratted on Narcos is somewhere in the country. Now you see him working as a mechanic. Right. And he's waiting online on the Kentucky Fried Chicken, but also they show the camera.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken, how that's a complete different world of its own. Yeah, yeah. Like Henry Hill. Henry Hill went to seven different locations. Yeah. Like he caused havoc. He was a problem.

Yeah. He was a problem. He was constantly a problem. He was a problem in Memphis, and they sent him to Tennessee. Even when he was out and lived in L.A., he was a fucking problem. Even when he was out of the witness protection,

his last few years in L.A., he was a lunatic. He was crazy. Still causing shit. And getting drunk and public. He was drunk all the time. Every time I saw him. You know what?

I never shook the guy's hand. He was at a bench in Beverly Hills. I always thought he was the kiss of death. Yeah. Like the first time I was at the store, and somebody came up to me, and I go to the front. Henry Hill's up there talking to Chewy.

I got in my car, and I drove out of there as fast as I fucking could. What good could he bring in? And then when I did the other guy, the other guy, the other rat's movie, Who I Love, I Love Salo Bots.

I don't know so. I love Salo Bots. He used to live here, and now he lives over there. Okay. And I just spoke to him about three weeks ago. Salo Bots was the first, first, first guy in a rat on a rat guy.

It was his last name. Who? It's not real. That means crazy. Look up what his last name is. Who Bots means crazy. Salo. I don't know.

Salo is the first guy to roll on a guy. Really? And Goddys crew? But. Arena? No. It's funny because, like I always understood why Sammy rolled,

because he was very smart. Smart guy. Sammy knew. New numbers. New numbers. He knew how to negotiate. He knew exactly where the bodies were hidden. He had business.

And he knew that if he didn't go first, Sammy knew. Yeah. He went, he knew that when he went first, they wouldn't believe nobody else, until they finally had so much testimony that Sammy did sell drugs.

Yeah. That they said, this can't be lost. Everybody's coming in here saying Sammy's selling drugs. Yeah. But fucking, he's saying that he never sold a drug in his life. The last time they put him in,

because he said he never shot a cop. And he was, he was the guy that gave the ice man the fucking job to kill that cop. Yeah, man. So they put him in jail for that, and the ice man died by mistake. What salad box?

Now, a police, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, a police. Oh, sure. Of course, I know a cell police. Yeah. I didn't know a box. Okay.

Yeah. Police. It's crazy because when you look at a rat, you go, well, he's a rat. Yeah. I fucked him. He's a rat. He did this and this and this.

But as I got older, I understood the differences. Yeah. All right. I understood the differences. Mm-hmm. Sometimes we get him like, I can't think of,

I think of the sopranos. I don't know if I was Tony's soprano. I don't know if I just came from shooting somebody. And I got to come in the house and play with my kid. Like, the cops aren't going to knock on my door. Yeah. I just came from a wire room. We're fucking.

I'm taking action on fucking whatever. There's chicks there. They're sucking my dick. You know, half the crew's on blow. And you got to come home. Not to do coke. Right. And you got, you're drinking all day,

and you got to come home and say, I would never comprehend that life. No, I can't. Like, I can't imagine somebody kicking my door down. I can't imagine opening my door with mercy and somebody driving by and shooting at me because I made the wrong decision on a family. You know what I'm saying?

Like, I can't even imagine that. But imagine, even like if you, John Gotti, because I used to see him out, you know, imagine him doing what he was doing, running a lot of places here and there, but then, and fucking beautiful women. And then eventually he's got to go home to the little house in Howard Beach,

with the wife and the old bedrooms. And I'm sure they have old furniture from the third year of marriage. But there's still stuff in there from their first 10 years of marriage, a couch, you know, with the plastic on or something. How do you fucking go from that world? But he did it for a good amount of time.

You know, really running the fucking family and then going back to, he didn't have the big mansion like Paulie Castellano. He didn't do shit like that. He was flashy with his suits and he's flashy in public with certain people. But, you know, he loved, he loved that, he really liked that adulation from people.

Even when I used to go see him in court, he'd come out of the car. It was like, it was like a movie because that's why they love the mafia. They're so dramatic in what they do. You know, if you're a black gangster, you come out of the car, a different person. You're an Italian gangster, you come out,

you got $100 bills for the homeless guy. You kiss the fucking news woman who's always on your back with the money. People start to love seeing you, you know? It's a different type of gangster. Mexican gangster doesn't come out of his house. People loving him around the neighborhood. I still always liked the guy

who drives the 69 car beat up. Yeah. Who has jeans with a hole in it, who's playing stupid. Right. I'll never forget going to this place when I was a kid on 42nd Street, right around the corner from Lincoln Tunnel.

And you went to get your dick sucked in. It was like a long fucking street. Really? It was probably 46th Street, 41st Street, where the fuck it was. There was a long street. And I had a couple of friends who would go there and say, I want to get my dick sucked

and we'd have to get out of the car and sit there. I remember that. Yeah, we did that too. High school, 1980. I'll never forget girls walking over to us and going, what? You guys don't want to get your dick sucked?

I'm like, nah, you know, whatever. Yeah. And one day my friend said, where's your pimp? And this was early on. We were like juniors in high school. Yeah. She was like, we ain't got no pimp. If we run our own game and shit.

I'll never forget there was a guy in a wheelchair that was in the corner. Yeah. And one day somebody said to me, next time you go over there, make sure that the guy with the wheelchair in the corner. And I went over there just to drive somebody one day.

Right. And I saw that guy and I put two into the game. He's a pimp. And they go, what's the pimp? He's a pimp. He's got a machine gun under there. He's playing hand-to-hand. Oh, really?

He'd have to sign, give him money, get in the vet. Oh, that's great. Well, he had a gun under there and he would shoot you. He'd mess with his chicks. Because they had to suck your dick on that block. I remember that. That block was fucking disgusting.

No. Well, we went, it was 1980, 79, 80, 81. And we thought 42nd Street because that's where the show world was with the pimp shows and shit with the windows that come up. But then for blowjobs, we found out, you got to go on the west side, 10th Avenue, 11th Avenue.

We went by, it was a UPS facility where the trucks are. It also happens to be where they take the horse carriages from Central Park outside the plaza. The carriages go back to 10th Avenue and 40th Southern Street. So we found that one night, a bunch of carriages. And they were open. And the hookers would come down the street like it was walking dead, the TV show, like zombies.

Like 20 of them at once. And you had your pick and five guys in a Cadillac from Long Island with fucking $40 in our pocket. We took our chains, we're robbed. One of my friends got blown, there's pants around his ankles. And as the girl was blown, she was putting his fingers in his back pocket inside his wallet without... They would rob me.

And right behind your back, she's taking the money out and putting it on the way back to Long Island. I had $40, I had no money. We were fucking nob. Yeah, there were pickpockets. You know how he's fucked with your Chichabasteach? Right, yeah. That's my favorite nickname.

I don't know what it was. Chichabasteach. There was two kids in my neighborhood. There was one Bobby Pierce. And he hung around with Chichabasteach in 1982. 1981, 1982, 1983. Chichabasteach used to call me rubber. Because your face is like rubber, he used to say.

You're rubber. He used to hear my name for me. And they were getting arguments at one another. Fuck you, you don't know what you're talking about. A 79 corvette is better than a 67. Right, right. There were two fucking knuckleheads. So I heard a story about them going to the city one night.

Because Chichabasteach always had... Chichabasteach. Always had some type of saying, always had something. And they're in the city, they go and they go to get their dicks. I'm in an abandoned building. Both their pants are down. The chicks are about to suck their dick. And they both pull out pieces.

And two gorillas come out from the back. They got pieces. Oh my God. And they go, give us your money. And Chichabasteach turns around and he goes, BAH! Like, anything else you can say, like fuck you or whatever. He goes, BAH!

I'm not giving you a dime. And they put the gun to his head. They took his belt, his cash, his fucking shoes. He came back. Oh, you kidding? Yeah, man. Chichabasteach. I saw him again.

Him and his buddy Bobby Pierce got arrested for car stealing. You had to be careful in the 70s and 80s. Sure. When you were... Well, they're sucking your dick. They're taking the wallet out of your pocket. It was amazing. I mean...

It was fucking amazing what they were doing over there those days. They were just as good at giving you head as they weren't robbing you. They were multi-talented girls. But we one time broke loose of a high school field trip. We were seeing off-road way play in the 40s. And that's how we found the 1040 Club. The guys above us a year, they would tell us when they were seniors, we used to go, we got a blow job and get laid.

How old are you? I'm 56. I went to the 1040 Club when I was 17 years old. All right. And it was the most disgusting. That was at the end. I mean, it was never, never, never beautiful. No, no, that was the most disgusting.

That was the joint. The experience of my life. Yeah. Till this day. Yeah. There's nights I come home at 10 from doing a spot. And I'm like, you know what? Here's a 10.

My wife's sleeping. Yeah. Let me go to the extreme club. And every time that memory flashes into my head. Because that was the first time I learned number one, never going to car with somebody. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Meet me over there.

No, no, no, no. I dropped myself. Yeah. Because your friends are paid. Who knows what the fucking person is doing? My friend's name was Pedro Obregon. He was a Cuban guy. And when he found out, I don't know, I hung out with these Cuban kids.

There was a handful of women in the Ali brothers. Juan Ali and Alberto Ali. Juan was the brains of the operation, my teacher by stage. And Alberto was just a moron. And he would agree to everything Juan was saying. When they were 12 in the sixth grade on the weekends, they would go into the city. 12. To get their dick sucked into different hooker houses.

Wow. And the brother would be like the year. Yeah, yeah. It didn't come in like that. They suck your dick. And the brother was half retarded. And they worked at their father's shop during the weekend on Saturday. They told their dads they were going to a comic book store.

Fucking grand. And they would take buses into the city. Yeah. You know, I don't know how they found out. They would go to one hooker house. Yeah. And they would tell you where another one is. Yeah, you find out.

Yeah, you find out. We found out from the kids above us. But then with the first time we went, we left the school play. You know, we used to mow lawns for fucking money, you know, $5 at a time. And we had enough. We popped lockers in gym one period. We ended up coming out of like 60 bucks from kids' wallets. So we knew we got one of the 1040 broke loose of a play.

It was that play with Harry Chapin off-road replay. And we fucking go to 1040. We thought 10 bucks would get us some. No, that gets you the room. And then the girl gives you the fucking menu over a course while. We all went back in the fucking hallway at the same time. We were out of money. We had like 10 bucks a piece.

We couldn't get shit but the room. One girl took pity on my buddy, you know, the most mature guy. And she, he fucked her. But then we told that story to the great underneath us. But we used to get head in the fucking buggies from the Plaza Hotel. They'd park them in the 40s in the 10th Avenue. And that was the place you'd sit in. So, you know, one night there's a black hooker blowing you.

And the next day, some newlywed couple are going around Central Park, you know, drinking champagne from the Plaza, not knowing this jizz. It's amazing how differently, I was just thinking about like 12, like the biggest thing when I was in school was 10th grade, we took a class trip to DC. And every year, all the kids would sneak off on their one free time and go to Hooters. And I had a cousin, I didn't even go to, I went to my cousin's house with little kids

and had a beer. I thought it was so cool. But they like, the big thing was them going to Hooters and you guys are talking about going and getting hookers at 16, right? My mother was dead maybe a year. And I knew Pedro O'Brien's dad owned a candy company. And they had a truck. And that night you'd go out in the car with them and there was a truck.

Right. The truck's stocked. Yeah. With lollipops and M&Ms. That's what his father had a company. He had 20 trucks. Yeah. They supplied everything in New York from candy.

And one night he picks me up in the truck. It's my birthday, like him and six other guys. And we actually went to that 1040 club. Yeah. You paid the $10 and I walked into a room. And it smelled like cologne. It's disgusting. It just smelled like men with cologne.

Yeah. And that's what I really learned about men. All those good looking guys that tell you they get pussy. Yeah. There were more of them there. I agree. Than ugly and fat guys. Oh yeah.

Yeah. There were more good looking guys in there that looked like Theo Vaughn dressed up with cologne. Than ugly fat, nerdy guys. Yeah. And women would come out like seven at a time. You would have to grab them. Yeah.

And then you would negotiate for more dough. And I'll never forget. I took in the bag. $10. You'll fuck me straight. Yeah. She put the condom on you. Before they put the condom on you.

They wash your dick with a bucket. Oh. Like a spit bucket. Yeah. It was a bucket. It was a bucket. Yeah. The metal bucket under the bed.

Yep. Yep. What is that going to do? I don't know, Lee, with a sponge. That was used on a thousand dicks. They just wanted, yeah. Exactly. It's dick water.

It's old dick water. It's dick water. And they wash your balls. Yeah. And the girl got on top of me. And she looked great on paper. Yeah. Right.

With the soup. But when she took her legs off, she had been stabbed. Yeah. She had been shot. They got a fucking cesarean section scars. It was just fucking disgusting. And she got on top of me, trying to fuck me. And all I could think about is like, is this what my life is turning into?

Like, I always thought it was going to be girls with gillers and poultry and flowers. This is what she said to me for an extra $10. I could hear the rubber hitting her mouth. Oh, no. And she goes, for an extra $10, I'll let you eat me. You kidding me? And I threw her off me. I took the condom off me.

Let you eat me. There was a little sink, like a prison sink. I went over and took the bar of soap and I washed my dick and my balls. She's like, are you okay? I'm like, no, I'm not okay. And I ran out of there and I left my friends there. I took a bus back home and I never talked to that kid again. It could be traumatic.

It was horrible. The one I remember, the lighting was awful. And I remember that, we went back a couple of times. The first time I was too young, I couldn't even get a hold on at all. I still don't, the two or three times I went there, it was going to be a blow job. And then I, but even that, I don't get as turned, I can't get turned on. I don't know the chick. She's not somebody, like she's not a chick that I find beautiful.

I can't get turned on by a hooker. I can't. And I mean, even like a hot, like a great body. They just know this fingerprints all over them. People, I just... It's crazy they're all around here. But I tell you what, ever since that dude said that, like, listen, I go to one Chinese massage place because they're on the up and up. Sure.

They're really on the up and up over there. It's $45, $40. They rub your feet with water. They rub you down. It's either a guy or a girl. The girl's a fucking beast. She's a fucking beast. Well, that's what you want.

Yeah. You know what? But you know what? I made the mistake to go into the one across the street the one day. What happened? Oh my God. Is it a happy ending joint? It's one of those happy endings.

And I knew it when I walked in. I said, no, no, no. She goes, why? I go, why? First of all, like, you cannot touch your dick. You cannot touch my dick with that hand. I know. That gets me too.

I can't. I look at their hands and I go, I don't want... She should be making wontons. It's not holding my dick. I gotta make love to my wife. My dick with that creepy fucking hand. That hand has to be disgusting, even if they wash it. I can't.

I just can't. You know, when I was about 15, I had a best friend of mine that was still, to this day, were Goombas. Come to me and he goes, I need a favor, take a ride with me. He had the clap. Oh. And we went to a clap place. Like the health department for him to get a check out.

Did you take that fish food? And he fucking, there was a chick there and a guy that had like, sores around his mouth. No. And that went into my head. Yeah. Like a fucking, like Jesus, like the image of Jesus. Yeah. And I never forgot that.

And for some reason, I'm a dirty fuck. You like... And I've had my moments. You got through it all. But you know what? No, no, no, no, no. I was really, like, when I was younger, I was a prude fuck. Oh, yeah?

Catholic all year. Oh, fuck no. Okay. I was. The whole Latino background. Oh. The machismo, the machismo element of it. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, it's crazy that I used to have a Cuban guy. When I was like in the fourth and fifth grade, there was a Cuban guy that used to hang around my mother's bar. They shot him. His name was Elio. He was Amacua. Amacua.

One day him and a bunch of Cuban dudes were talking. And he pointed me out. He's like, if somebody wants to suck your dick, they suck your dick, whether it's a man or a woman. Oh, shit. As long as you don't suck their dick. They make sure not to say, yeah. I want you to fuck them in the ass.

Fuck them in the ass. And I'm going to sit there like, what the fuck are you talking about? That was their machismo. Yeah. That was their level of machismo. I'm not a fag. You're a fag. That kind of thing.

I'm no faggot. You're a faggot. Yeah. I fucked you. You didn't fuck me. Oh, yeah. Those guys. Yeah.

Those guys. A lot of guys down south like that. Why? They had, when I was a kid, my mom would always call me Bugarron. And I would go, what the fuck? Bugarron is, is a dude who imprisoned. He fucks. He takes a guy and he goes, leave from that one.

You belong to me. I like that. Put a wig on. Yeah. Lipstick on. Yeah. I want my shadow on you. I want you to shave your balls.

Oh, God. And I'm going to fuck you in the ass and you take all this from me. Like you do my laundry. You cook. Okay. But what is that? What is that? I get that.

They got to hold your fucking belt loop. The whole thing. But here's the deal. You fuck them. Yeah. They suck your dick. You could smack them, treat them like women smack them. But I need to know what that is.

What kind of man is that? I don't get it. Listen, I never met one until 1985. Does he prison? Are they, are they only in prisons or are they other places? In prison in Cuba. Did they have it before prison? I don't know.

Is that something they want to do before prison? Are they late in homosexuals or what? When you go to prison, you got to put in that position. I can't imagine that. I just can't. And you, let's say I become, let's say I'm a drug, like the dude, I knew that, that it was a drug dealer. And he had been in prison.

I guess he was in prison with one of the guys. And when he came out, he hired his cousin, put a wig on him. And they held his cousin. They held the coke on the street with heels on. Holy shit. And fake breasts. Really? And he would sell coke on the street in San Francisco.

Wow. So when they were friend to me, I, when I went to San Francisco in 1985, I had a warrant in Jersey. And basically when I was doing in San Francisco, I was a con man. I had a suit. And I would go to hotels every day with a Wall Street Journal. And I'd sit in the lobby and wait for people to check in. I listened to what room they were going.

And I'd run upstairs 10 minutes afterward. And I'd either steal the maids' keys, because in those days there was no electronic keys. The maids would stick the keys in the door, leave the door with the keys hanging there. I'd find out where the maid was at five o'clock and take her keys. Once I had the master key, you couldn't stop me. Oh my God. I'd wait for you to check in. How do you stay at home?

So there was, I lived in the Tenderloin. Oh yeah. I lived in a place called the Virginian Hotel, which is now the hostel. And across the street from there, that was the Hilton. That was my prime spot. So I would wake up at seven and go to the Hilton, sit there with the master key. And there was no cameras in those days. And I'd wait for you to check in.

No cameras. And I was doing it, but this is where I got greedy. I was doing it at like two or three different hotels. I had a guy that would buy it from me. No questions asked. No ID. Right down the corner. Really?

And then the Cubans. I met these refugee Cubans that are coming from Marielle and they were real deal. Yeah, right. They were real deal. Sure. And their sponsor on the block was an old guy called Ed Poodle. So whatever you made for the day, you got to give him a cup. He was the old man.

He owned the corner. Right. Tribute. And you hustled on that corner. What could you do on that corner? You could sell Coke. You could sell weed. You could mug somebody.

But my main thing in those days was there was a Cuban thief that specialized in travel checks. Wow. He didn't know the language. Yeah. So for 50%, I would go to Japan town up in Northern San Francisco. They wouldn't ask for ID on the American Express. I would put a suit on and just take something that was 3250 with a hundred dollar gift.

Yeah. American Express, man. Right. And I'd pay for it until I got all the cash back. And then we'd split the cash. Right. And we'd take the merch and sell the merch. Sure.

It was like fucking stealing. Yeah. I did that for a fucking sum. I mean, I was a one man machine. I know that. Yeah. And I worked for myself. Yeah.

It was just beautiful. Yeah. And there was bad days. Sure. But. And there was good days. When you had bad days, you always went to Poodle and said, let me get 50 and get me started. Okay.

And I'll give you 65 tomorrow. No, listen. Fucking crazy. Yeah. When my roommate Chico ran again, he's like you when he was the one of the security guys that scores, but he elevated to a position where, you know, it's a mob joint. The girls kick up to the security security kicks up to the manager, the manager kicks up to the agent.

Crazy. Yeah. One of the kicks up to the mob. It's all kick up. Right. And so Chico, every night, this is on Wall Street's boom and Bill Clinton's president. Every night there was two or three credit cards that people every week, two or three credit cards would be forgot, but by, by a Wall Street guy, not just some guy who drove

in from Jersey. He's going to call it right in the next morning, but a Wall Street guy who goes to work late the next day. He's on the floor. He don't fucking care about his animics. The minute we got to, we had, we had a guy that owns suit stores on Madison Avenue. We had electronic stores down on Bowery when we got one of those cards, the Muldoon's we called them.

We called those friends for stereo equipment, for suits. We whack out the card and the car would only be charged 50 bucks. The client would get, oh, I got to pay 50 bucks. My animics were stolen. It was a small penalty. Amics would pay for the rest of the shit because it was theft. No cameras. We'd split the shit we buy and he'd give us suits.

We'd give him cash. It was fucking great. I even kept cards. Even after they were hot. You could sell them. No. I would keep cards because I would go to Chinese restaurants and get the lunch special. It was in those days, it was 4.95 with a can of soda, 5.50 plus tax.

I would leave a $7 tip, open up the book and look at the numbers. There was no computer. There was no computer. There was no scan. It was the deer. So I always ate lunch on a fucking stolen credit card. Right. Did you leave the card?

No. No. Just the same way. It was the thing, right? It was an imprint. The imprint thing. And at the end of the day, they'd deposit in the bank and the bank shoots it back. This is a stolen card.

And if that broke. So I would go two days in a row and then I would disappear and go to a gyro place for two days. Right. And then once I could go back, I would never do it at my favorite restaurants. You don't shit where you sleep. Right. So you always kept the card.

Yeah. The card. It was a, like, I can't even, like today there's completely different crimes. I know. I know. People go online, steal your card. You're done. But in the old days, I mean, I remember the first time I was exposed when it was a friend

of mine. Well, I'm still in contact with his mom. Yeah. Oh yeah. Just go to his mom and go, listen, I need two Apple computer, 19 inches. Yeah. I'm three iPro cameras and three microphones. She go on the internet, not, not in those days, but she, like today, she got the three

mics, a 140 a piece, the computer, 1600 you want to, that's 3,200. That's 48. Right. And give me 5,500. I'll be here tonight at six o'clock. Give me 3,000 cash. Right. What are you going to say, Lee?

Yeah. Well, I'll give you 20, 3,000 because I just saved you 5,200. Sure. 3,000 cash tonight. Like that, that's how quick it was because she had cards. She would even get me jeans. Yeah. No.

What size jeans you need? 32, 34. I'll get you three of them. Jeans in those days were $12 apiece. So for $20, you got three pair of fucking Levi's. Well, Norman loses. The guy that owned the suit store, you bought four suits. You whacked him.

He was an honor too. He was an honor too. No, he knew. He was a friend of ours. He'd open up. I want these three suits. Here you go. Boom.

He makes money from the shop. And if you want to sell the suit, you can, but we like wearing suits. So he made money. In fact, when the guy reported it's stolen, Amex is only responsible for a certain amount. I mean, the whole amount. The store is only responsible for like 50 bucks. Something small. Amex pays all that money.

They nailed me. They nailed me one time. One time, they had me, but they didn't. What had happened was I was a real fucking gavone. I had a friend who got cards and for about six months I tapped the cards very lightly. I was very smart. I was trying to get my life together. I wasn't doing blow.

I had just turned 22 or 21 and it was the first time I hadn't done blow in like six years. Oh my God. I started at 79. I knew he was 84. I said, that's it. Wow. I fucking, but I still dabbled with the weed.

I didn't drink then. So it wasn't about drinking. And a friend of mine, I bumped into a Manhattan one day and he goes, can you move credit cards? I'm like, what do you mean move them because I don't use them. I go, I'll do it. There's no ID, but just go to places that you know, let the people know. So if you go to a restaurant, Lee, come here, just don't want credit cards. So charge it and I'll give you a hundred dollar tip.

Then you make a hundred. Who gives a fuck? Get yourself a buffet to go. Right. You're the waiter. So I cut the deal with you. You're my friend. They grew up with you.

You're not going to get in trouble. You didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. You don't know nothing. He had no stolen. I know. So I would go to places that you work, Lee.

And we'd run up a tab and then I'd say, give yourself a $300 tip and give me 100. Yeah. I know. You got to do it. But you have no idea, Lee. Yeah. Yeah. People.

There was money everywhere. And I'm walking around. That must be a wild west. I got 18 grand. I got 10 grand in the bank account and eight grand cash in my room and I'm down to four grand. Like, what am I doing? Who am I fucking?

Johnny Gambino. I called my buddy and he said, send me some cards. Yeah, yeah, Rob. He goes, well, you got to send me 500 cards. No. I'll put it in the fucking mail tomorrow. I said, I'm running up to 2500. He sent me a fucking five cards and it was all over after that.

It was all over. But the problem is nobody would buy a stolen merchant boulder. That's not the embolder. We weren't the guys driving around in the cars with like the extra boxes. No. See the extra seafood? No. Those are, those are the worst.

That's so bad. No, the speakers. The speakers were the thing. I said, you live next to me. Yeah. Like, I had a buddy who lived next to me who did steroids and blow with them one day. You want to buy these? So easy.

Oh, no. Yeah. You know, every hot merch was not acceptable in boulder. You come out. East coast. So I had to keep shit. I don't know why people would buy it. The only thing people would buy for me were pens.

What the fuck? I used to go into those stores, antiques and us. Oh, those can have the frames. Oh, okay. And I would steal cross pens. Oh, those. I would, I would, I would tell a lady, you can I, do you have that cross pen? And this chick would go over, open up the bottom drawer and then somebody else would

distract us. She'd take the key and leave the drawer open. And I'd take all the gold covered ones and take them back to fucking the cart dealership and sell them. Yeah. I was going to say business men loved that shit. No, no. I was, I was always a 50% type of guy.

Yeah. I stole it. So 50% is profit anyway. You're making money. You're making a fortune. You know, you know, you know, yeah, it's perfect. Fucking craziness. Crazy.

I love that shit. Craziness of me going. I remember being at the boulder mall one time, summer of 85, it's August. I'm walking through this mall. I'm 21 years old. I'm trying to get my life together. I'm walking through this mall. I'm going, I cannot believe that this is happening right now.

If I had my friend, Daniel Rago here, got arrested, so we'd make a million dollars. Yeah. I'd seen a year in high school. We would both have like Jim at 1045. We would get in his car in high school and we were juniors and drive up to see his road buck and open up, see at the back door where the automotive, right by the back door, there was a stack of car speakers, blow punk, it was big back then, and all you had to do was walk in, take a pair and walk out.

We get 35 bucks. We each get 35 bucks. Yeah. That's 70. That's a half a gram. Sure. That's all you need. A $10 bag of weed and a six pack of beer.

Yeah. We would do that three days a week until every box was gone. It's great. Every fucking box was gone. Every box was gone. It's too easy. And I'm embarrassed to say these stories, but they're the truth. You know what I mean?

I'm going to fucking tell you. When I was 16, 17, we're living on Long Island and good neighborhood, but we were the poorest family. My father was the older and everybody was young coming in, but a few of the developments of it was where all the new houses were going up with the younger money, and I would go, my father had a big Cadillac and I would go at night with a shovel dressed in black and I dig out. I went, I love hedges and plants and I know what's expensive, wood pines, wood fucking.

I know all about plants for some reason. I would rob every beautiful hedge, young rose bushes. I knew what everything costs and I bring them back. My father knew I was doing this. I put it. I was like, it was like a tribute to that. Look what I got last night. I put them in the yard by the pool before he went to work, he'd go, I like that pine.

Yeah. Put that road of dungeon over there. That's nice. Give that to Rosalie. And then someone off you guys down the street heard I was doing it and they go, you know, can you grab with some of these? Yeah. So I started going out with my father's Cadillac.

I'd line it back with news, but the glad bags and I was one man operation. I dig fucking and they were in the earth for like a few days. They weren't like sunk in. You can just pick them out, put them in the trunk room because no one lived in the model homes yet. It was all homes that were furnished and the landscaping was done, but nobody lived there. There was no cameras once again, it's a model development and it was a good hustle for like a summer.

Two grand and they paid $50 for a bush, this one, a bonsai tree, like good looking shit. Did you ever get the same house like multiple times when they kept refilling? You know what? I got a school that way. I got the school across the street and down the block from my house and then I got to be like, I can't keep it in the school. They kept putting these beautiful spruce tree in like four foot high. I'd pull out of the ground and you had to do it during the winter when things, when

the root ball is still going to be alive. My father let me do that shit. He thought it was so funny. I never got one of the sickest things I ever did was, I got involved with, well they were my neighborhood friends. It was like Sabatino, Carlos Perez. Chichabastits. No, Chichabastits was a Kennedy school guy.

This was the given act terrorist crew. In those days it was Carlos Perez, me, Sabatino, Domino, God bless his soul, couple other kids I may forget. There was a soccer field. It's called Schutzenpark. Schutzen. Right in Union City. It's been there since fucking before Hitler.

It's a German place that serves German food, but they also cater it out. You can have parties there. So they have all the political parties and when we were kids, they practiced baseball back there. North Bergen had the rights to practice little league baseball back there and there was a soccer field back there. So on the weekends, the German soccer team would play back there and go about. It was basically, it had stands.

I don't know what you could fit in there. I don't know. 2000, 3000. It was a park. But it was covered by this 10 roof and for years, for years starting, I mean I remember going up there when I was like 10 and hitting balls with the Todd brothers, by the way one of them just died, Jeff Todd, Jim Rich Todd, and Vanacheck and we go up there on a road and play ball.

But there was a guy back there. His name was the butcher. And if he caught you back there, he chased you with a knife and a German shepherd. Oh, shepherds with a dog back there. But the beautiful of it, we used to go up there and ride the motorcycle and that would really drive him. He would chase you and see all those zig-hounds and shit, but we figured out one day somebody told him, I used to, my mother first died.

I had all these different friends and I had good people in my life, but I had this one particular kid, Mike Denny. Everybody called him the devil. Like people called him the devil. I took a liking to Mike Denny. Mike Denny was a short wrestler. I went to Lehigh, but he just had him, you know, he was one of those guys that, every time you did something with him.

Do you trouble? You know, you came up short. Oh, okay. You're not going to believe what happened. The guy gave me 300 instead of five and I tolerated it for about a year and I lost him as a friend. But I will tell you, he was a money-making machine when I came to make money at night. The problem with him was he robbed all the wrong people.

His father owned a ship refurbishing company. So when a ship lands in Newark or Hoboken in those days, after six months at sea, they come in, weld off all the barnacles, repaint it, and they get a year of contract. That's a big job. Well, he would go back at night and steal the hulls and steal the fucking shit that belonged to the ship. And yeah, he was just a fucking moron, but I'm snorting coke with him. All right.

He's got to be 20 and I'm 16. Right. And that little crew, we put together one day somebody mentioned that that tendon above the soccer field that you could sell it. It's worth something. Yeah, like copper. Like copper wiring. Listen, everybody in my neighbor got a ratchet set.

And at night, before you went out, Lee, you had, you took out your radius clothes and we go up there. Me and you. Seven o'clock because Butcher would get off. Butcher was off between seven and eight. He took a nap. So we get up there, climb and ratchet those things off, throw them off. You had to slide off.

You fell off. It was fucking scary. And I mean, little by little, you saw sections disappear. Lee, it was fucking, it was like a little by little every night and then, then I, then somebody else caught on. Yeah. So I would steal the sheet. He would steal the sheet and then he told his friend and his two friends started stealing

two sheets. Yeah. So now we almost turned into a wall. Like, wait a second. This is our turf here. We've had this first. Me and the devil. Schützenpark is ours.

Carlos and Sabatino are at this first dog. They fucking stripped every piece of fucking tin. Schützenpark had to put a tarp over the paper tarp for the soccer game. That was a hustle for a whole fucking summer. And we were getting like $55 a thing. There were so many people. I used to bring things to, yeah, those, I don't know, I don't know what those people are anymore.

I used to have a transmission guy that would give me money for sawdust. No. Because they filled the transmission with sawdust. Yeah. Where do you get sawdust? It's a lumberyard. It's a lumberyard. It's a lumberyard.

I used to work at a lumberyard. They don't clean up every day? And when I got the job, the kid that had the job before me, he told me right off the way, he goes, listen, the more you got to steal, because if you don't steal, they're going to know how to steal. Number two, I have existing contracts. Are you kidding me? And I go, what are you talking about?

He goes on Saturdays. A guy comes in and buys 40 sheets of plywood, he'll give you $400 cash, give me a hundred from now on. And I got another guy that comes on Thursdays and gets 20 sheet of, because Marine Plywood was $64 a sheet, four by eight. He would say, and it was galvanized so you could put it on boats. So he would say, give him, charge him 20 a sheet. I mean, there was days, there was days we, me and four gorillas would load the back

up. And at the end of the day, there was no sheets left. I was a junior in high school. I was robbing them blind, those poor fucking people. There was a family at a transmission place. And they would tell me when the barrels get filled up, give us a call, I wasn't allowed to sweep. I would sweep and put in barrels.

And once I'd get five barrels, they'd give me like a hundred cash, which was every week a hundred cash from the law firm. The job paid me six bucks an hour. Yeah, you gotta make a living. Well, that probably made a thousand a week out of that. Right, right. They had an old school register. So it's meant, if you spent eight dollars, it would come up eight dollars.

But if you came in and I'd say, how you doing, tell you how I'm doing, how you doing, Joey, nice to meet you. What are you looking for? I'm looking for my base money, 10 sheets of four by eight ply with a 44 dollars a piece. You know, 10 sheets, that's 440. Right. I knew that plus tax. Right.

I would fucking do the register. I would do it on my, there was a calculator. And I mean, the register would be packed, there would be four salesmen at the thing. And right in front of them, they didn't know that I had loaded the sheets on. I would take the sheet and do the tax like for 440 plus tax. And instead of ringing in 488, I'd ring an 88 and the guy would give me 488 dollars and they put 88 in the register and keep 400 and lock the register. I did this every day.

Yeah. Well, okay. That's how I snored a coke. I saw it one junior year. And then there was an old school gangster in there, rather than not mention his name. And his angle was he was buying nickels and stones. Really? He wasn't buying nickels and stones.

He just said that as part of his parole. I see. He was buying stolen jams and fucking diamonds. And rings. Jesus. So on top of that, I had friends that were burglars and I told them I knew Mr. B and they would give me stuff for him and so I'll never forget one Saturday night. I found a bureau, there was a bureau on the street that somebody had moved and me and

my buddy said, I wonder if there's something in there and we shook it. There was change. Oh, great. Because we took the change out and we split the change, $1.50 in quarters and pennies. But that night when I went home, one of the dimes on nickels was weird. Really? And on Monday I took it to him and he took a look at it with the nickels. You take $800?

Yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? I'll take $0.10 for it. It's a nickel. He didn't even have to. He could have gave me $80. I didn't have anything. That's how honest he was.

He goes, I'm going to give you $800 for it. Because I'm going to sell it for $12 right now. I'm going to give you $8. Right now. Wow. He goes, wait. Call a guy who knows he needs it. He goes, who got you?

He's a specialist. He thought it would be worth about $7. He goes, all right, I'll give you $8. You keep $100 off the top. Thanks a lot. I had that place wired for some. I wouldn't show up on Saturdays. You'd have to.

Every Monday I would show up on Sunday. I wouldn't show up on Saturdays and they wouldn't even say nothing on Mondays. Right. And he's saying this like you're telling him like, oh yeah, my family used to go to have ham for Christmas dinner. This is normal for you? Yeah. 17 years old, Randall Lumber and Marie.

That's young. North Bergen, New Jersey. This was when I quit the job, the guy who gave me the job told me, you have to steal if not, they're going to know how long I was stealing for. When he quit that job, he was like, I'm the Sadie's, a condo, they were robbing him blind. But it was a dirty lumberyard because they did dirty business. They had an account with the town, which meant that if AJ Benza was a commissioner, he could redo his garage, go to the town and nobody would know, and they would play like they

didn't know. AJ comes in all the time. Everyone was making money. It was a big deal. It was all. It was the biggest thievery and he lived and the guy who owned it lived in the town called Kenneworth, New Jersey. That's really rich.

That's nice place. People are losing Kenneworth, New Jersey at the time. I don't know. The great Sam the Butcher. Oh, is that right? Kenneworth? Kenneworth, New Jersey. I used to have to go up there and see the man and drop envelopes and stay in the car

as a little kid. Nobody knew. You know what I'm saying? Because I lived with, when my mother had that barn, we lived in North Bergen. I hung out with a family and their family used to always take us on little rides. So let me tell you what, I mean, I don't understand hustle because you can't teach your child hustle. No, my kid has no idea.

Your son has no idea. Your son has nothing in it. He's only kid 10, but I can tell. Okay, commerce came out. Commerce, everybody had Chuck Taylor's. Everybody and their mother had Chuck Taylor's. I want you to find the song, Give Me Your Money Please by TKO, by Bachman Turn It Overdrive. Give me your money please, okay?

Every Saturday mornings at 7.30 in the morning, me and this guy, Frankie B, he would pick me up when I was around 12 or 11 and we would drive to English Town, New Jersey to the funny cars. Yeah, it was a track, yeah. But they also had a flea market out there. And if you drove three or four miles down, hold on a minute here, that's it. Yeah, that's it. Me and this kid would smoke pot and listen to this.

I got it. All the way down English Town, over and over because we were like, he was three or four years older than me. He could drive and I could drive. Right. What? He's robbing music, it is. We used to go down there on Saturdays and there was a subcontracting place in South Jersey

that worked for Congress and they would stitch the sneakers up for Congress, something they did there and the mistakes they would throw them in a dumpster. Oh, forget it. So I would jump in a dumpster the first week I fucked up because I came back with un-matching sizes. I was going to say, yeah. Nine and ten. So I came back with two sevens that were for the right foot.

Then I figured out if you're going to go down there, clean out the whole mess. So I cleaned out the whole mess, 16 of them would be for gazes, but the other ones would be Julia serving limousines for the feet. I would take them home, shoelace them up and sell them for, they were $21 at the store. And I would sell them, I would ask $15 and get $13 I'd take it. But I'd sell ten of those fucking things every week and me and him were splitting $100, $200. No, it's easy. Are you kidding me?

You know, Benaka was down there. Benaka. Benaka. You know how many times I jumped into that Benaka fucking dumpster? Benaka. That was the... And we'd steal, it was close to the Union City and I'd steal all the mistakes that had a lot of peppermint and they'd spray their things and they'd be all fucked up for a day.

They had a lot of every date in high school. They had, Benaka had a spray and Benaka also had a little container that you put it on your tongue. Tongue. Strong. I remember when I put one on my dick one day, I was on a bet. I put one on my dick one day dog on a bet, that thing stung for two days. I was about 13.

You can't. I made a bet. The Benaka drips on the tongue was strong. Oh my god, Lee. It was a little bottle like this. Oh, what kind of a bit is that? It was like an oil, listen, it lasted all night, but my scam was in college I worked at Macy's in Bayshore and I didn't want to work at a register.

I wanted to do maintenance, which meant you take a car around, you take all the hangers from behind the register, empty the garbage can, but I also had a key to go in the fragrance section. Now we're all the ladies sold, you know, in the 70s, Cologne was huge, Cologne's a perfume. Huge business. Everybody had the perfume in the right Cologne, Paco Rabanne, all that shit. So I would be able to go in the cage, which had all the fucking Cologne for the holiday season.

But if Macy's the way they deal with it, if the wrapper come back with a leak or if it's ripped, it's not good enough to put on the shelves at Macy's or to put in the glass case so they have to send that back to the manufacturer, send it back to Calvin Klein, send this back to Coros, we can't use it, there was a leak in the box. I take all, I throw them out, I put them in the wagon and we had a trash compactor. Next to the compactor was like eight inches of daylight between the cement wall and the back parking lot and the compactor. And I found that and I fucking chiseled away at it more and I was able to push a whole

bag of Cologne's out every few nights. My nephew would grab a bag or my buddy, and then we go to a guy in Massapique with three towns down who had a flea market on Sunday and Saturdays and he'd give us five, six dollars a bottle and he'd sell it for 14, whatever the fuck it was. It was easy. No one cares at a flea market if there's a little, you know, they're getting cheap perfume, I'm getting free, you know, it was a fucking, it was like a few hundred bucks a month, it was easy.

I lived in a world that was so, like I used to go to this doctor, my friend came to me one day and he goes, I'm doing steroids and I need more and I don't know who to turn to and I said, and I started thinking about it, you know what, I know a guy and he was my family doctor and one day I showed up down there with a half a gram of coke and I would just, in those days I would just go to his office and cut in the line. What a half a gram of sugar. I'd go, Doc, I gotta talk to you. And he'd go, what?

Can you give me a prescription for Diana Ball and Winstrow V and go, absolutely. That was the recipe. And he'd go, but I gotta send it to a pharmacy, give me the pharmacy and I'd send them to this place in North Bergen and I remember going there picking up six bottles, even the pharmacist would look at me weird because they were such a scam, there was nothing was monitored. No. This country anymore.

No. You had an angle, there was nobody who needed, if you didn't need a job, you knew how to work the system. Number one, you got a job. You went to that job for a fuck of eight months, you were dedicated. You didn't miss overtime, but guess what happened one day, Lee, a box fell and you hurt your back. Yeah.

So now you got a law settlement and you're in disability and they give you 450 a week because you were making top dollar union. So now you're making 1800 a month, right? Right. And you're not doing dick, but guess what? You hang out with me. So every day you're picking up a nickel a rule. So either you make a nickel or you make 250, it's still gravy.

You're pulling down 18 and you're making two grand hanging out with me all week at a bar eating the fucking lobster for lunch and calamari and watching General Hospital. Easy. By nine in the morning, we've already put three scams together and now all we're waiting for is for Johnny to show up with that eight ball because we're going to throw a grandma cut on it. Yeah. We're going to sell it at cost, but now you and me have a grandma cook for tonight.

And now all we got to do is pay for alcohol. It was all day. Every move was covered. Every move was covered. And if the move wasn't covered, the move was covered. So I got a grandma, I got, I got, I got, I got a 60 bucks, Lee. You got 40. Let's buy a grandma blow AJ's bartending at the federal tonight.

Right. Give him two bumps and we'll drink for free on that. We give him a $20 bill. That's the best. I mean, we drink for free. And I'm talking about $80 shots. Top shelf. For layman.

Yeah. The whole thing. He, but he takes care of the whole thing at the bar. I don't think that, you know, just like that, for giving them 20 bucks and two lines of Coke and maybe putting a quail on the table. I did that every week. Let me tell you, when I came out to New York, I put $20 and everybody's hands, $20 and everybody's hands, every, every doorman, every chef, every waiter

before tipping, just cause I'm in the room that night. You know how far that fucking goes, just $20 and someone's palm on a Tuesday night. And the next day you're there. Can you get me that suck? Can you give me that? Can I get the drugs? And I got any pills. You just wired in that room.

The chef, you're wired with him. You're wired with the May the D. That's amazing. Then you got 10 restaurants like that. They treat you like an animal. What you put a half of you out in the guy's hand. All different restaurants. You got a table.

All different restaurants. And that's what I do. I call him to my name. Christian. As soon as I walk and I give him a hug and I just put 50. Wife, I'm out in the mood. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to wait.

Right. I'm going to wait 30 minutes. You know what I'm saying? I got Lee with me. The stakes hot. He's been dreaming. If I call Lee on Monday, I'm taking him Thursday for chicken parmesan, he won't leave me alone for three days at the end of every conversation.

No, we can't. I can't wait to go down to Dantans on Thursday. Yesterday, it was, you know, I'm home every other week. Yeah. And there's times that and then like, I mean, I like to take my wife for breakfast. That's nice. One day a week. Yeah.

One day we do a lunch and then Friday we do date night. But some nights I go, you know what, I'd rather stay with the other one. Yeah. I eat my edible and we watch Captain Underpants and I'm giggling like a motherfucker. I read for that fucking show. At eight o'clock, I put him in the tub and my wife comes home at 9.30, she's got two beers in there. She goes out with the school teacher.

Oh, forget it. And they, they talk about kids and they get it out of their system and she eats a dinner and at least my wife gets to get some oxygen. That's good. You know, so what the fuck we talking about getting people wide restaurants, $20 here. Dantan is the state. So wait, I, uh, you know, I forgot I'm fucking high on that weed. I don't know what the fuck I'm thinking.

You're going to talk about the fried rice now. Oh yeah. So yesterday. Oh wow. Yeah. I had to do a bunch of shit in the morning, you know, I dropped her off, but then I left my wife. I think my wife wanted to do breakfast.

Nice. I had to run errands. I had to meet this guy and I get home and she comes in from shopping and I know she wants to talk to me, but I just walked in from kickbox from jujitsu, which means for an hour and a half I left my phone to call. Now I get in and there's seven messages and three people I definitely got to call back. So when I get home from working out, I take my dirty laundry. So as I walk in, I throw the water bottle in the sink.

I turn the hot water out. I was disinfected from my germs and jujitsu. I take the gi, the rascals, the underwear and I throw in the laundry basket. I saw the bag and I go in the room and I put electrodes on my back and I put the computer on and now I answer all those messages and all those codes with the electrodes in my back. I get up with the electrodes. I smoke a ball to get my appetite going. I take the electrodes where we're off.

I take them off. I take a shower and when I come out, my wife makes lunch. So yesterday she came in and I go, honey, she goes, I'm starving. I can't fucking do this right now. Let me answer these emails. I can see she was disappointed and I'm sitting there answering all this shit and right as I was smoking that ball, I had the electrodes on my back and I go, listen, you're hungry and she goes, I'm fucking starving.

I go, give me 20 minutes. I'm going to go down there and I'll call Chinito. Now he's been sick. There's no ethnic food around here. You're sick. When you get sick, guys, you go home the first night as soon as you're freeing it, you pop it there or flew. Unless you got a prescription for one of those pills, Tammy flew.

Yeah. I got two of them at the house. You got to hold them. Hold on to them. And even the expired ones. Yeah, that would mean shit. That's great. It's a bullshit.

They're a bullshit. So you take, as soon as you feel a little something and you take a little hit of weed, like I'm not frustrated with Lee. I know he had bronchitis, but I wanted him to eat. Go to Gallic. Get some Gallic. Go to Juicy Lee. Go to Gallic.

There's just so much things you have to eat when you get sick like that. I've been drinking tea like a motherfucker. Tea don't do that. Tea's nothing. Yeah. You got to put ice in your body. You got to put, get your blood moving, man. You have a Jewish light and you got to put tea with brandy and a shot of whiskey in there

and then sweat it out with a blanket, this old rabbit. Italian juice. That shit that you make. Honey and lemon. Warm red wine. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. They want you to eat CVS. They want you to drink triaminic and fucking cough drops so you're voluntary. What you really need is an old Spanish grandmother. You need an old Puerto Rican. They make the soup with the chicken bones in it and you get those chicken bones in your soup and that puts you right back to top Magoo. We don't have this here.

When you get a cold, the best thing to drink, old school, what do women wash their pussy with? Vinegar. I have it in my... I bought two bottles. Apple cider vinegar. Two bottles of vinegar. Hot and sour soup.

Oh, hot and sour. It's delicious. You drink hot and sour soup and you get cold. That vinegar drink takes the whole... Vinegar's the best. Yeah. How do you assist? I'm sorry.

I had to put it like that. What do you want your monkey with? Vinegar. Listen, every night I goggle or swallow it. Really? I've heard about people doing that. Even at the end of my salad, I always drank the rest of the vinegar in the bowl. I love that shit.

I love vinegar. If it makes your nose run and it makes you hot, it's good for you. If it makes your body start activating, it's good. If it's sweating, your nose is running, you're all fucking crazy in your chair, what's else have tea did that to you? Nothing. Tea's full of shit. So it's funny, I go, let's go down to El Cochinito.

I wash my pussy and we got in the car, took it down to El Cochinito and we met Duncan. Oh, yeah? My buddy Duncan. Duncan? Yeah. Trust him. And we talked about the comedy store and a bunch of shit. And then I ordered, I go, let me call Lee.

I go, Lee, take two hits off of Johnny and I'm going to want him because I didn't tell him to get hungry. Yeah. I go, just take two hits off. He didn't know what I was doing. He didn't know what. Oh, okay. So I called him.

I'm 10 minutes away. He came down. I gave him fucking a sleeping pill and a fucking box of this shit. It's the greatest thing. Whenever you go to a Cuban restaurant, the last thing on the menu is going to be... Que se guava? No. It's going to be agro frito especial.

Something special. Special. It's fried to special. That means it's fried to special. Oh, Chinese rice. Oh. Special. Special Chinese rice.

Oh. No, it's pork, ham, chorizo, shrimp. Oh my God. Fucking amazing. It's like a paella. It's like a paella. Yeah. It's paella.

It's really dark. It's really pungent. Spicy a little bit. A little bit. Spicy. They put fried not tautones, but the maduros. Yeah. Holy shit.

I go, Lee, take the sleeping pill, eat half of it because I got the recipe for that. Eat half of it. Listen, I had 103 fever one time in the hotel room after I did three eight balls in a week, one of those weeks where you get the flu, your body breaks down. There was two feet of snow and I had to walk to the shop right with fucking sneakers on. I was going to get a pneumonia. Hardening and pneumonia. And how I did it was, I smoked dope and I went in the shower.

I kept going in the shower. I made the tea, the British tea, where you get the lemon tea, shot of whiskey and lemon and honey. And I drank that shit and you bundle yourself up. The bronchitis he has multiplies. If he goes to the gym and he comes out and the wind hits his back, that's when you're in trouble. That's why I went to pneumonia.

I was in New York for four days in New York with one degree temperature and I came home and that's when I found out I had pneumonia two years ago and almost killed me a month in the hospital, surgery inside of my chest. They took my lung out, scraped it off, fucking horrible. But I thought I just had bronchitis. I kept working and hustling, I was filming a show, taping a show and I would come home, pop his anics, drink Nyquil like it was a fucking soda and knock out. Knock out.

Doctor said if you did that a couple more nights, I don't know if you'd make it to the hospital because my kidneys were shutting down because I take a blood pressure pill and a cholesterol pill, but the over the counter meds like Nyquil and Comtrex, that's no good for you. That's no good. I didn't know. So I'm fucking dumb. If you're taking a blood pressure pill, don't do it.

No, you don't take blood pressure. Okay, then you're fine. You're too young yet, but boom. And the other thing is you dehydrated tonight. You got to be really careful. I was dehydrated? With the sleep apnea machine, I always have a gallon of fucking water after me. And even though we're over 50, so we pee eight times, I'd rather pee once.

Sometimes I don't drink water for so long, my ankles start to hurt, my skin being so dry. Really? When I went to come home a few weeks ago, it got so fucking dry. Maybe because you're up there? Maybe? The altitude, sure. The altitude fucking killed me.

Well, one time I stopped taking my blood pressure pill and I got lazy and I said, I'll go to the pharmacy tomorrow. It turned into like nine days that I hadn't taken it. Like five years ago. And I started touching my shin for some reason and it was like, it felt like my shin was like there was water in there because I'd press my finger and it'd leave a dent. I go, that's not my body. I call it the pharmacist is great.

I said, this is it. He goes, why don't you start taking a pill? I said, like a week ago, I lied. He goes, get the fuck down here now. You can't stop taking those pills. You'll fall down. You're not getting up. So he said, that's edema.

You get, you're filling up with water. It goes, you know, I went away in a day and a half, but it was a lot of alarming. I'm getting to the age now where you go, that's not good. So if you start getting edema, do you, they give you diuretic? You need a pill with a diuretic so you pee a lot of liquid out. My blood pressure pill is a natural diuretic to begin with. So I'm up five times a night. They say you're up once for every decade you're alive.

I get up, I used to get up three times a night and I ordered this thing beyond raw. What's that? GNC. Oh yeah? And it's got like a bunch of stuff in it. So if you work out, you take that, it gives you extra protein and you should take it out before you go to bed. And I do sleep.

I sleep five before I have to pee. That's good. Five in a row before you pee. And then one time, then I get another two, and I'm good. I'm tip top Magoo after I get the two, you know what I'm saying? Tip top Magoo once you get the fucking two, hold on, man. Damn it. Trying to fucking reach here, let me give you a shout out to my motherfucking peeps here.

Always in the house, Gray Smith, Steve McGee, Juan Carlos, Maurizio de la Peta, Nuno Sousa, Jiggy McSaus, Crazy Flips, Jersey Made New Jersey, my brother, and my man, Steve Camiso, you bad motherfucking, thank you. Don't forget, cock suckers, tomorrow night, Columbus, Ohio, it's sold out already, you fucked up, I'm not adding no shows, I'm an old man, I'm tired. There you go, a little something to go there. A little cheese pastiche to go. A little cheese pastiche to go.

And don't forget, May 3rd, I'll be at the improv, till May 5th, Cinco de Mayo, smell that fart. Nah, it's good. It smells like, it smells like acai bowl from the greenhouse juice house on Lancashire, I went there for breakfast, I wanted to clean out my system, I had a nice antioxidant bowl, which is cherry extract, a little acai, some fucking vanilla, a few bananas, and they grind it up. They put a little granola, they put some gujou, fucking berries, they put some coconut, fucking

delicious. Wow, what is it called again? It's called the greenhouse juicery, let me tell you something, I take it to the greenhouse and you drink a little compucha, they have compucha on tap, 16 ounces of fucking canned compucha, all the grape, the ginger ale, the cherry over there, you get the ginger ale, you drink that, they clean your stomach out, nice and nice, you know what I'm saying? I still drink it. What the fuck do you think you're dealing with?

Joey Banana, they're giving you bad fucking advice, if you go to the greenhouse, tell them Uncle Joey sent you, they're great fucking people, they're half Puerto Rican, I love them, half the people who work there, P.R.'s, so if you go in there, they'll give you a free fucking straw. I don't think I'm allowed to yell Puerto Rican, am I allowed to yell Puerto Rican? No, you're not allowed to yell Puerto Rican because you're fucking whatever, don't forget, I'm also at the 10 p.m. prom, the 3rd to the 5th, what else is going on in your world, Papa, talk to me, stop.

You know what, you know what, I'm looking for a reason, because tomorrow night's the 18th, I'm going to be doing like a soft podcast, I'm going to sell and sign some books at Rockin' Rallies on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood, meet and greet, sell some books, you know I haven't done anything on the road with my podcast yet, so this will be the first time, meet some people and we'll see what happens. Good for you, man. You gotta get out there, you gotta get out there. You gotta get out there.

You can't sit home. You know, it's so weird how it's a different time now. Let's say right now you had your show on it, and your show lasted six years, and on top of that you did a podcast on the side, behind the scenes. Now the show ends, you don't end, because you still carry that network, the same brain thought, so it's such a different mentality now with the podcast world that you can retain if Seinfeld, well let's say not Seinfeld, but a little guy with the bald head, Jason Alexander, if he would've had Facebook on the way out of Seinfeld, you retain all those

fans and all those people. Me, we don't have fans here. The church, we're a motherfucking family here. There ain't no church, there ain't no family, they say fuckin' Olive Garden, bitch. We're the church, we're a fuckin' solid family, we help each other out when we can. You know, I try to go to the message board and fuck around with people that Dicky Syat and my other brother are running, what's his name again? Scott Cunningham.

Fuckin' Cunningham, I got so high I couldn't remember. You're very active, I see you always talking to people online on social media, I love you, you always pop on, take care of people. That is why social media is important. I love it. There's a lot of people coming out, you're fuckin' weird, you can't go at the time, there's people who write loss on the webpage, they know that I've gone through a loss, and I want to condone some, you know, I want to let them know I'm there, they're fuckin' there

for me. That's what you gotta do. Listen, this is not, I don't want you to be one of those people that listen to 20 podcasts and you move around. No, no, no. I want you to watch us grow, I want to be there when you suck, and I want to be there when you're good. The Yankees are never always good.

Some years they suck, that's why I respect the guy like Nick Terturo. I'm on it forever. Because these guys are Yankee fans, they don't buy a Yankee at the week of the fuckin' thing. You know, I got Bob LaLingus and Bobby Sharon, and look at who I was with last night, Garnett came to the fuckin' comedy show, I took a picture with him, but I got a hat on, I look like I'm too fat, he's got that, you know, he's Garnett, uh, whatever, from Canada. He hung out with Tripoli and stuff like that. He's a very fuckin' kid.

You know, we have certain, you can't run a quick one on us. We know who's been here since day fuckin' one, from Clea, who's spooky. We know Leon, we know, what's my little young brother up there doing kicking people's pep pussy up there, the 18 year old kid. Oh, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, for the wall? No, the fuckin' kid up in Canada. Oh, Cassius Morris. Cassius Morris.

I'll be on this, I was supposed to be on it already, but once I get better I'm gonna be on this podcast again. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bro, we know who's been there since day one, so I wanna appreciate you guys for always kissing and do me a favor, give Agent AJ Benza a try. AJ Benza got a lot of knowledge, he knows gossip, he knows who the dick is gettin' sucked before you eat, that's, AJ Benza, if somebody's dick is gettin' sucked and there's a wire in the room.

He used to be mine, now I know who's he is. AJ Benza forgets to fuckin' email, so it's Harvey's cousin's gettin' his dick sucked, Harvey Juniors back in town and shit. You know, it broke Trump's story, that story just hit, maybe it has a love child, I broke that last Sunday on my show, it came out on the newspaper Thursday, I broke that a week and a half ago, I know, I know the chick's name, no one knows, Judy Centron. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, don't worry about it, there you go.

Oh, that's a good one, see, that's what you get from those outside people. That's from the Silver Lake? Well, that's from the I.C. Oh, please, please waff it up. You gotta live this far, it's just tremendous for you. It's a part of me to be congested. No, no, no, I'm in the hot box seat, too. This is gonna zip right through your fuckin' nose.

Between the bronchitis and your asshole. I'm in the middle of a fuckin'- It's tremendous, this shit. A mash unit. I'm happy you came out today and spent a year around the corner. Yeah. Yeah, the studio where you tape is next to my juice place. Oh, that's the place you go.

You came in talkin' about, okay. I got Joe's coffee there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe's coffee is this shit. I go there too, every Sunday. Joe's the man, I go to Muay Thai with him. And then Three Doors Down in the greenhouse. Solid.

That pizza place isn't bad either. Which one? Mama, what the hell's... No, don't tell me that. No, no, listen, for a big pie for... Listen, I'm not talkin' about... Well, this is fuckin' Los Angeles. No, no, no, no, this is...

There comes... What? No, it can't be. I swear to God. No, not Mama's. Yes, yes. How'd you see it? I'm gonna tell you.

I'm a fuckin' New York John's Pizza to Tony's. Every time you go in there, it smells like armpit. It's a different day. It's not a Mexican dog. Don't go in there no more. Please, don't even talk about it. Only my wife, instead of gettin' the fuckin'... Well, look.

Don't go in there. I'll tell you why I'm gonna talk about it. I won't, I won't. The alternative was, on Friday, some kids wanted pizza, and my kids don't offer New York pizza. They've been to John's once. So, yeah.

Papa John's. What do you wanna go? Papa John's is good, and I hear you go, how could you order that shit? Let's go to the Pizzeria. Find a good pizza place. Danielle's on Laurel Canyon. Alright, Laurel.

But I'm on Kuang and Magnolia. I'll take a ride to pizza anytime. Nice, nice, nice. And you get a piece on the cage. Don't make them make it there. The best place is Lauchman. You gotta get it with the old school. That's a good place.

That's a good... Then he opened up two of them, and he got greedy. The problem with that place was it was too much drama to get a slice. Oh my God, I gotta pay for it. She's got the sheets of paper. Yeah.

She puts it in the window. It's a scene. You gotta put it up. And it's a scene. And then you gotta sit and wait for the slice. That's not what a slice is. A slice is... Oh, boom.

Here's a dollar. You throw it in. You take my money, then you take it out and give it to me. I don't give a fuck of you a dollar. There's fucking oil dripping on your wrist. I don't care if your fingers got AIDS on them. Of course not.

Just give me my fucking slice. Of course not. Of course not. That's why it's nothing better than walking down the New York City street with a slice of pizza and oil going down your wrist. AJ Benza, you're a fucking trip.

You know, anyway. Listen to me. Are you hiring? Posting your position at job sites and waiting and waiting for the right people to see it. What are the chances? You know what I'm saying?

Listen. Zip Recruiter, no, there's a smarter way. So they built a platform that finds the right job candidates for you. These invitations, these invitations have revolutionized how you find your next hire.

In fact, 80% of employers who post a job on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate through the site in just one day. That's one day. Zip Recruiter learns what you're looking for and identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job.

And the right candidates are out there and Zip Recruiter is how you find them. But listen, it doesn't stop there. They even spotlight the strongest application she received so you'll never miss a great match. Listen. Businesses of all sizes

use Zip Recruiter. You in a pinch? Right now. Do me a favor. The church family can try Zip Recruiter for free. That's right. I said free.

What did I stutter? Free. That's it. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com slash church. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash church. You know why?

Because Zip Recruiter is the smartest way to hire. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash church. The best way to hire someone. Don't forget. Columbus is sold out tomorrow night. So don't even bother.

But May 3rd through the fucking 5th. Tempe, Arizona. Oh, shit. We're coming in deep with the Agostino. It's fucking three days of fucking Bethlehem. You understand me? So I'll see you cocksuckers in Tempe

and don't forget to keep the fucking struggle. We going down deep, motherfuckers. Again, I want to thank my man, A.J. Benza. Anytime. And I want to thank my little brother, Lee Syed.

I want to thank you guys for being family every week. Thank you very much for listening. Have a great weekend. Beautiful. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.