Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #579 - Nic Gregoriades

Episode Date: April 26, 2018

Nic Gregoriades, the first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black belt under Roger Gracie the Host of "The Jiu Jitsu Brotherhood" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought ...to you by:    FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 04/25/2018.
  

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Greetings from podcastville the church of what's happened now is brought to you by fujisports.com. Listen Whether you're doing Muay Thai, whether you're doing jiu-jitsu, whether you're looking for match Well, whatever you want to do Fuji sports. They've been there since day one since Nakasaki was Nakasaki Fuji was fucking there All right, Fuji made their first fucking G me. I'm a fat fuck I've always loved Fuji for that reason the a farm down on a five when I was in a six They would tug on me pull me do everything in that fucking G was tougher than death go with the superado I don't know much about the sake who I got one, but I don't like how it looks I'm a superado type of dude or start with the lightweight
Starting point is 00:00:42 $96 purple G rock them with that one go to fuji sports.com right now and press in church Get 10% off your first order delivered to your house Whether it's a fucking karate belt to choke your wife with whatever the fuck you need Fujisports.com is there number two. You need supplements, right? You lift them wait you're trying to put the pieces together. You got to start with fucking Honor right there plain and simple that new fucking protein shake. They got the Mexican chocolate. Are you kidding me? Mexican people invented fucking chocolate. You was you know what they look like these fucking Mexicans. They're huge Why they invented chocolate then they put cheese on top, but they don't give a fuck my point is
Starting point is 00:01:22 For your supplements, you got to go on it.com whether it's the offer brain the shroom tech the shroom tech immune Lee don't take shroom tech immune. That's why he's got bronchitis and he can't smoke dope me I snuck that shit. You understand me. You gotta the playing with a bunch of fucking foreigners Everybody's coming from a different destination. Somebody's got something. You know I'm saying somebody's got a fungi toe amongst these cock-tuckers It might be you shut the fuck up. Anyway, go to honor.com right now and press in church 10% off delivered right to the crib. You know I'm saying you have to leave the fucking house Kick that fucking meal Lee oh Shit going old school on your motherfuckers
Starting point is 00:02:05 This is one of my thieving songs in the 83 you know I'm saying When I was fucking robbing houses, I used to get psyched up for this song This is Madonna the first down when she was sucking dick in New York. There you go Let's do this motherfucker. We got the Christ killer and we got my main man my mentor Mr. Nick Greg Ogarious You don't want to find it professor Shit the kill burn the midget
Starting point is 00:03:02 Oh shit Here we go, baby What's happened now it's a beautiful fucking Wednesday So fucking beautiful day to be alive the birds are out the sun's out It's like 90 degrees here in California plus my main man my jiu-jitsu mentor fucking If you remember the show kung fu from the old series in the 70s, this is The epitome of kung fu only for jiu-jitsu martial arts and the great Nick Greg Ogarious How you doing my Greek friend from South Africa who I love dearly. What's happening brother? Yeah, man
Starting point is 00:03:50 Just happy to be here. I'm just enjoying the weather as well. It's so good. It's so good. You look good Man, I just wanted to tell you as well. I'm actually not your Greek friend. I did the 23 and me test You're not no, I'm I'm actually fine out. I'm only I can only be six percent Greek at most and the rest is Lebanese and British which blew my mind don't believe it though, you know, I can no I think I think the same test I came up Chinese and fucking African which I knew I got African and when you were in a cube and you got to have African linear. Is that right? Yeah, absolutely So they took the slaves and these fucking savages started fucking them
Starting point is 00:04:29 Cubans were Indians, you know, like the tihono Indians and shit like that and then but anyway I'm from fucking the fork by Spain whenever that region's called. That's the most blood I have in me. Okay. Number two is west African Number three was chinese number four was american indian number five was champion number five was dick of death You understand me? Then the five was russian jew which is dick of death. Why can't I explain explaining more? I wish that's all I am is russian jew So I don't know my wife's Hers came back that she was an american indian Okay, and her mother's american indian
Starting point is 00:05:06 So that's pretty cool their explanation was that if you're american indian It doesn't trace you back for five generations something fucking crazy. So I don't know how legit 23 and me I'm not dogging them or nothing, but like I said, I always knew that was african For my wife's my wife's dad did it as well And it popped up because you know, you can share You can allow them to match you up with relatives that you didn't know you had and it popped up saying By our estimation you have a half sister that he didn't know about and it just popped up So he sent her a message I think he's gonna connect with her which is pretty cool
Starting point is 00:05:40 So he's got a new sister. Well, that's cool. I get to be to be very honest I I don't I never really understood everyone doing this stuff I'm like don't like why doesn't why does everyone care what but that would be cool to find like a long lost relative But like I never really understood why people want to do it me Uh, basically for the health one They have like a screening of how you're susceptible to oh, okay Like what diseases you could have or what problems you may have or whatever he is I did it for that reason. I think that's it. They said you're susceptible to smoking weed, right?
Starting point is 00:06:12 I'm susceptible to smoking weed. I had a high, you know, I was Different areas like I had a high chance of cardio just because of family history Like you have to really look at family history In a lot of situations, you know, did it make you change your lifestyle when you found these things out? Oh, yeah, absolutely I know I had like a I've always you know, I started out a really healthy guy like today I talked to a kid that We went to karate together that karate school
Starting point is 00:06:37 I was goofing on before but the Japanese master comes over and your gi has to be ironed And you really buy into it for a few years and you realize it's all a fucking stunt That the guy's coming over. He's going to ten academies. He's picking up five envelopes of five g's apiece. He's not even Japanese You know He doesn't even know fucking karate. He just you know, whatever like it was such a cloud of bullshit smoke So, uh, I talked to him today. He called me, you know, we still talk 40 fucking years later. So that's cool Does he do jiu-jitsu? No, not no, you don't do dick now. His father died and left him 10 million dollars You know, god damn. He just spends money. He had a sex slave for a while
Starting point is 00:07:21 When I first When I first reconnected with him about 2008 No The first time I reconnected with him was after I did the longest yard We spoke on the phone because he'd always contact me for years on december 17th That's when my father and mother my mother and His father and mother would come over to the bar. It's a cuban holiday december 17th St. Lazarus day
Starting point is 00:07:52 So we also went to karate together and we also went to bruce lee movies together And we hung out with another guy that was half retarded His name is mike seriously and he says he still talks to mike Okay, mike's family owned buildings in union city and he always lived in the basement So mike's family lived in one building and mike lived in the other building by himself in the basement Can you imagine being a fucking Eight-year-old kid eight years old sharing a basement with your brother So we turned it into a little martial arts studio
Starting point is 00:08:24 We bought the fucking thing that you hold and hit with the canvas on it Yeah, come it up. He had poles. We wrapped them with foam. We kicked the fucking things So we would always sleep over crazy mike is what we called. Okay. Is that the one where someone went through a wall or something? No, that was mario diaz's house. That was that was a cuban chinese kid that his parents were off the charts smart Okay, like and you like they were like fucking millionaires smart. He lived in this house up in north bergen and he was a Kung fu kid. Okay, like a fujiapai kung fu kid. I was a goju Gushin Rukerati kid
Starting point is 00:08:57 Did you guys fight it out to see was the best bro every night to the death? You understand me when you're 12 11 To the death we would knock it down me and there was an aikido kid on the block Yeah, and a judo kid and we would just fuck each other We all made commitments. We all went to honda sports. Okay, and we all promised each other We had to buy the boxing gloves and we bought the headgear which in those days was huge You look like a cat that never got fixed. You ever see when a cat male cat never gets fixed And he lives for a long time
Starting point is 00:09:30 I haven't noticed that if you ever see a male cat that hasn't gotten fixed And you know if you adopt a cat you fix them But uh, if you don't fix them They get so much testosterone that their head starts to grow And the head gets so fucking big that it looks like fucking something crazy. No, is this for real. It's for real because my The cats I have their dad Was a pure killer who lived outside And the people who lived in the building my wife said I he was not that he was a kitten. He was crazy
Starting point is 00:10:05 He showed up like eight guys Eight brothers and sisters, but then they all got killed. He's the only one that He had a knack for survival. I mean this guy was just badass So, how do we get on fucking I was thinking about that the helmet with the kid I was like, how was this cat part of the fight club? I didn't know what happened So we just had big helmets and we bought the shin guards in those days, which are two pieces Yeah, and you got to pull them up. They would like the shin guards now in the muay thai when you strap on yeah And about nine o'clock at night
Starting point is 00:10:35 We don't make up some bullshit excuse that we were going to mac because he's just he was a smart kid We're all going over to the do homework. Oh go ahead. Mary was very smart to help you with that geometry. Fuck you We had our geese already over there. We had made the movement over there in the daytime We put our fucking geese on and just start fucking blast until about 10 30 kicking each other We'd do the iron palm technique We had the fucking rocks in the backyard and we'd sprinkle the chin chin juice on your hands And we do that. I am pumped. I mean, we were gone bro. We were gone. This is a you know, america was a different from from 68
Starting point is 00:11:14 69 which for some people that listened to this podcast weren't even born Uh, it was an over flooding of after the green hornet an over flooding Of asian martial art movies came over here because bristly was in the green hornet. He was kato He was kato right after that Like the first martial arts film I remember is five fingers of death That had to come out in 69 70 that one was about the iron palm technique He would go like that and his palm would turn red and then he'd fuck you up a weird noise came up That had to be 69 70. Okay, and then after that
Starting point is 00:11:55 Every movie theater like we were talking about the movies the other night How in the 70s and 80s early 80s every move every town had a movie theater had a midnight movie And it was either pink floored uh, pompeh or whatever, but at the same time they had kung fu festivals And you never seen teenage boys Blues their mind there was seriously. Yeah, because it's you know, two dollars come here 1130 And you don't let get that loose till five and you've seen two karate movies
Starting point is 00:12:28 When you're 13 all that testosterone you come out and you start throwing punches We go to the movie theaters and what you did was you went in your karate school So I'd go with the fucking white dragons and Lee would come with his taekwondo school And you would show up. There was no jiu-jitsu then Jiu-jitsu wasn't even on the map like you had to drive for judo Okay, you had to drive for judo the other thing around was pure karate pure kung fu There was an aikido school in manhattan and one in new jersey, but that's it You had a fucking drive for judo judo was in the village the judo club
Starting point is 00:13:03 And uh, there was a russian cuban dude who taught judo on 7th street And that's where the the judo guy that we'd always beat up Because the judo guy was great that we trained with but he could never put his arms around this We'd punch him in the face 10 times by the time he put his arm around this He was like a purple belt in judo, but we'd fuck up his world. In fact, I spoke to him yesterday I spoke to the judo kid yesterday. Yesterday. He called me and I was swimming with my wife. His name is Martin Perez Okay, his father. His father was batista's driver And the vana cuba when we were kids
Starting point is 00:13:34 Uh, they shot his father. But just remind me batista is batista is the the guy before fidel that fit that over through Oh, wow, okay. That fell over through when cuba was corrupt and whatnot. I'm surprised you guys didn't brawl in the movie theater Dog they were fistfights all the fucking time. What and I still remember being a kid Like being maybe eight And going to a movie theater on 148th street one one saturday afternoon Where there was a kung fu flick And it was black people white people Puerto rican, syrish and italians. Let me tell you something There was 20 fistfights doing that movie deal of this picture in gangs of new york. I want scorsese film
Starting point is 00:14:14 No, this is this was so nuts because during the week professor. I lived amongst nice white people On 88th street But on the weekends my santeria godmother lived on 148th street and that was in in these days This is the wild wild last to harlem. This was the mouth of harlem, you know Not really harlem the mouth to harlem is 125th street 118th, though But this was out there still and there was a movie theater in the middle And I remember that I fell in love with a movie called our latin thing And I fucking went to the movies every day
Starting point is 00:14:47 Every day I went to see that movie because they played it every day What was it about? It was about a spanish all-star band that I still listened to the time that in fact I have the movie album in there But I still remember going there on a saturday like the two o'clock movie would be like fucking a kung fu movie Oh my god, there'd be people and you could see popcorn flying For me when I was growing up like the ninja craze it just hit You know like that it was the the mid 80s. Yes. Yes. Yes, and I remember like Every year between the ages of maybe like nine and 12
Starting point is 00:15:22 I could have this slumber party for my birthday, right? Like and my parents would just stay upstairs in the downstairs part of the house It'd be like you and your friends can watch movies and you know hang out And this new series of movies that just arrived in south africa on vhs called american ninja Do you remember those with michael dudekoff? Yes, and a similar kind of thing happened. We watched A couple what we rented american ninja one and two and watched them back to back And it was the same at the end of that it was these like 10 or 12 little little kids who had just lost their minds
Starting point is 00:15:54 I mean like everything was a ninja weapon and the dudes like hiding behind the curtains and guys like jumping over it Was it was pretty cool? What a fun time. Yeah, it was a fun time in your life. I mean look at that We had the luck of our movie theater was on 48th street My mother had a bar on 29th street And the movie theater was on 48th street So we'd walked those 20 blocks and just rage, you know, we were young kids on the street eight nine years old Just talking about what dreams we had a long way 20 blocks. That's not like a two minute walk That was like nothing. Oh my god. I was like nothing in that day. We do that walk every day twice
Starting point is 00:16:31 Twice we do that walk from my mother's bar because I think there was a place father that had good Cuban food The thick stuff like the rice and the beans the sandwiches was down the corner, but Finished the story that on the way home from that kung fu theater It would be late if they had it was called el cinema And if you went to see like into the dragon or anything five fingers at death and a one-armed swordsman or whatever the fuck was playing You leave there all testosterone down And you'd be walking down the boulevard bergen line avenue and on 31st street. Maybe there was a huge fruit market Huge i'm talking the size of this building and another one. Okay
Starting point is 00:17:14 And in front of it would be all the boxes of fruit And we would start beating those things We would start kicking those boxes. They would fall into the street. You see cars driving around the boxes We'd have 60 feet of boxes to beat the fuck out of and they just fall over then the cars would come we'd run away like Yeah, that's great. I actually remember that that feeling, you know, you when when you're when you're young before you have cars and you and your buddies it's like summer vacation and you just you just walk here on you're so bored but like You just walk around looking for something to do but it's it's you're still having a really good time you know and the thing for me I went to Thailand about 10 years ago and
Starting point is 00:17:52 There was a bunch of these digital nomad dudes who I became friends with you know people just work from there from their computers and It was kind of that same feeling as when we were kids walking around like because we just walk around the streets of Bangkok But the cool thing was we weren't like broke little kids anymore. We'd all like made you know We were adults so we could afford to do the the real cool stuff And so this just made me think of that. What was your introduction to martial art professor? uh judo man, my dad was like a karate guy a good karate guy and uh
Starting point is 00:18:22 There was no but there was no karate class where uh where I lived but the school was doing judo so uh My best friend it was a year old of them, but he was in the same grade. He said uh I remember telling my mom that uh like He was doing judo and then I was like I want to do that. I want to do that So my mom said sure you can try it and I went like at the age of seven And I did judo and I loved it man. Just loved it. Absolutely loved it. I was pretty good at it And so that was it judo. Yeah. Now. How old were you seven?
Starting point is 00:18:51 Seven and how long did you stick with it? Probably like four or five years and then I got like distracted and right right. That's what's saying doesn't happen to me In those years. Did you feel the zen of it? Did you experience the zen of the boy? Yeah, yeah, when you were a taekwondo guy Did you ever experience the zen of it at any point or was it something that you just put your suit on? Got in the car with your dad and felt you were forced to do You didn't see the zen of it. I liked forms. I don't know. That sounds really dorky, but that's what I
Starting point is 00:19:25 I was I was I was good for actually that was the biggest trophy. I ever won. I won first place Uh and forms one year. That's the kathas, right? Yeah. Yeah, and I I really enjoyed it. Did you practice them? Oh, yeah. Yeah. How many times a day? Uh, I don't know if it was every day, but I remember when you were getting ready to the to uh test for the new belt I would we would had we had a living room. We'd push all the furniture out of the way and do it for my mom 8 000 times and and just uh Yeah, I still I still kind of remember one like you'd like a right block kick punch It was just and then you just do it to all four corners and you can uh Like I look you're supposed to get your moves really crisp and do it exactly right. I like that
Starting point is 00:20:09 I I think I was so young because I don't think I was even 10 yet I like I don't remember doing a lot of sparring But we would do a little bit and I got I got all the way to red belt And then I just I was a kid and I got bored and I quit once you turn 13 and you see pussy Uh, a little bit of alcohol 14 and then because that was my conflict my conflict was my karate friends were by the book They were a lot of fun. I I know when I look back now
Starting point is 00:20:35 I had a lot of fun with those guys on the weekends because we were karate geeks which meant that We were exposed to new york city on a saturday So we would all lie to our mothers. You're going to the library. We're going to the library, right? We're going to the library Fuck that. We take a bus over to the city. We don't save our money You deliver papers lee worked with his father at the shoe store I worked with my mother at the bar and we go over on saturdays to a fucking
Starting point is 00:21:03 Martial arts supply place that was a couple floors. Yeah, you know what that's like when you're martial arts geek You know and I still remember the town for before cops Had yeah, yeah, that's how old I am like I still remember the kabudu town for Was sold in black belt magazine at honda And there was a wooden one or like the wooden one with the stick and the new chucks that were octagon They were octagons like all that shit. I still remember my dick getting hard walking into that building That's the feeling I that was the zen part of it. I kind of felt the zen part of it
Starting point is 00:21:41 but Pussy and Drinking with my buddies was better. So I abandoned the martial arts at the age of 16 Fair enough. I just said this is too much. I didn't like I was playing basketball then, you know, and I didn't uh, I had to take, you know Once a week I could make it when I played basketball practices till 6 30 By the time I got home changed and took another bus I didn't get the men's class from 8 to 10, you know, they had a men's class and shit
Starting point is 00:22:10 But it's so weird how to it The zen of it always stayed with me. Yeah, I get it and then something really weird happened like When I was starting comedy and I was going through all my divorce shit I joined the tank sudo school subak do school and I stuck with that for about a year and The only problem with that is you could buy your way through the system You could be a black belt and fucking a year and a half if you want to And then so you the gold belt after you get the black belt you could sell the for you If as long as you know the forms you could test you could test every testing period
Starting point is 00:22:42 Which wasn't really good, but I could learn the forms and the three three basic techniques or whatever and then I forgot about martial arts. I became a comic I came back here and that same style of subak do was on the corner And and it was too late profess. I was 300 just out of shape And I would go in there in the morning class and stuff But it just wasn't working out and then we moved in the cocaine the whole thing How do you think like what do you think was the biggest factor them that caused you to get so out of shape joey?
Starting point is 00:23:16 If it was if you could single down one thing The out of control eating eating okay The out of control eating the out of control eating was I could eat You know nobody When I was a kid I was very thin And I was ashamed so I went on a tear And I lifted weights and I did everything you could do to get bigger and I started gaining weight And I stayed at a great weight till about
Starting point is 00:23:45 28 And then it was nothing serious. It was 220 227 nothing serious. I still had big broad shoulders. I still had big fucking hands, you know Then it once I got to Seattle once I became a regular at the store. I was probably 255 And once I became a regular at the store. I just became unhinged Yeah, it's because like as you get a little bit out of shape Then you kind of or you almost like give up right like that's because then you're like exercise becomes harder So you exercise less and then you get a bit more out of shape and then you eat more and then it's just like vicious circle
Starting point is 00:24:24 I just it's crazy about how at the age of 30. I was back in New York City. I'd gotten divorced. I was broke And I was exercising like a fucking lunatic I worked out of the gym for free because these two kids when we were kids their house burnt town They lived over a bodega and my mom helped them out. So when they recognized me they said what is it? Your cocoa. No, you don't pay. So I had a gym in jersey Okay, and I'd signed up for a box in gym in New York because I buy a locker And put clothes in there and my notebooks and shit So I could run around New York City go to the boxing gym get a little workout in for 20 bucks
Starting point is 00:25:00 Pay a guy to try hit the mitts a little bit take a shower Put on a new outfit write a few jokes and I'd fucking go to do so I always kept in shape Colorado I had a bench in my living room. It's once I left Colorado in 95 And I became in love with comedy I can't explain what happened, you know, but If we compare It was three eggs for breakfast A half a loaf of
Starting point is 00:25:28 Wonder bread down. Yeah, that's probably did it right there. Just the one I could do eight slices of I Today I take a half a piece of bread and I cut the yolk. I don't need any egg white. Fuck that shit I don't eat the egg yolk and I put only the egg yolk on a piece of bread. No butter. No nothing Before I would break the yolk and I wouldn't be done until all the yolk juice was broken If it took 12 pieces of bread with butter on it took 12 pieces of bread with butter And if it took 10 it took 10 And my wife would cook the whole pack of bacon The Oscar Maya the whole pack of prime cut the middle cut every morning
Starting point is 00:26:06 Every morning before she leaves So I'd wake up to bacon my wife's in the south jack And my wife would have let's be honest two slices of bacon. Yeah, and I would eat the rest Then I would smoke some pot a few cigarettes get my blood pressure really up and I go to mcdonald's And get the morning breakfast Well, this is after you had the breakfast at home after I had the breakfast at home an hour and a half later It had to be before 11 o'clock damn I'd go get the mcmuffin with the potato and a full-sized coke
Starting point is 00:26:39 And then two hours and I would go for chinese food, which is just no bueno And yeah, I will sue To fucking appetizer with the thing the spring roll. It's the grease is coming out of it Yeah, the rice is six seven points But whatever was in the food, you know the goat meat and beginning and whatever Then I would go home and my wife would have something in the afternoon I would eat like a something a piece of meatloaf and then for dinner I would just kill it So this is like six meals a day basically and then and then I go up and if I was doing coke
Starting point is 00:27:10 I would drink alcohol with soda But even if I wasn't doing coke, I would drink 16 sodas Jesus Yeah, you just keep going back to the bar drinking your thirsty. I've never think of water I never even thought of water as an option Like it was I only drank water when I take a bottle of vitamin Like you know, fuck you. I'm gonna drink fucking water I never drank water since I was a killer in like water, you know something I noticed uh Recently I put this together because I put on a bit of weight and I'm trying to cut down
Starting point is 00:27:41 Um, and I realize that all the people in my life who are thin they all have one thing in common That's that they all eat really slowly They don't really eat anything different, but they just eat really really slowly. Have you noticed that's the secret? Yeah, that's the real secret to eat half push the dish away. Yeah, but it's difficult to do that talk for 10 minutes Can you do that because I try I've been doing it lately I've been I eat a little bit and I push the dish away and talk to my daughter Okay, and we talk to talk talk at the table. We talk like a family And then I'll pull the dish back in and eat the other half fair enough
Starting point is 00:28:14 I gotta get into that because I'm a fucking savage. I eat like if I'm in prison I really do I eat like there's 20 dudes and there's six cheeseburgers You know, so I that's what I eat like I'm very ashamed Of that time period in my life You know, it was so weird because I still remember it being Like February or January and I borrowed money from josh wolf Because I had an audition for a pencil commercial mafia commercial. I was gonna be huge the sopranos were out
Starting point is 00:28:47 So everything they were doing at the time was mafia related in 2000 From 99 to 2003 I booked everything that was mafia related. I would go out on three mafia auditions a week But I booked the pencil commercial and when and they said we're gonna we need you back here Thursday for a call back I have a suit. I didn't have a suit So I went to the Hollywood suit outlet And they gave me three suits three shirts three fucking socks and three belts Yeah, three belts for $200, but just don't smoke a cigarette next to that suit, you know Because you will go up like a fucking you will light up like a fucking terrorist obama. You understand you just blow up into flames
Starting point is 00:29:26 So I bought the three suits. See they tailored them for you And maybe two months later, maybe six weeks later I had an audition and I had to put the suit on I went to put the suit on You know, sometimes you put your pants on and you just tuck your belly in. Yeah, I'm gaining some weight Guys I was three inches away From getting them getting the trousers on I just bought this suit six weeks ago And I'm three inches away, but at that point the sleep apnea had kicked into my life. Oh, yeah at a
Starting point is 00:30:01 Dose And you know, I found out that during sleep apnea your body releases cortisol Which I was already starting to get the ball on my back What does that mean when at night when you sleep and you're a fat fuck and you can't breathe at night your body goes into danger And once that body goes into danger, what does your body release quarters? Oh, yeah So when you sleep and it happens at night, that's why when you see obese people They have lumps on their backs. Oh, that's the collection of the Cortisol cortisol really, huh? Like when I finally decided to get help
Starting point is 00:30:39 It was when I could feel that I was 418 418 pounds. I was 418 Yeah, I did the longest yard and the longest yard tricked me psychologically Because I said to myself this is gonna be great because now I'm gonna be the fat guy from now on So what the fuck so let me just eat more Yeah, yeah, let's just enjoy this. Yeah, you know my favorite thing at those days was going by in the Not the 16 ounce coke, but the 32 ounce And getting a pint of new york super fudge chunk
Starting point is 00:31:16 And I had a big glass my wife got me a glass from somewhere like a milkshake glass And I would take the whole pint of New york super fudge chunk empty it in a glass And put soda on it and mix it up god until the whole soda and the thing was done. I was headed to death Add the cigarettes add the cocaine Add the fucking sleeping four nights or four hours a night. I was just going I was just going and I remember that after the longest yard While we were shoot
Starting point is 00:31:49 While we were shooting the longest yard in New Mexico was when they put me on oxygen therapy And at that time when I shot the longest yard, I was probably about 380 And that's when I realized I had to do something in my life So they had a trailer where you could work out and I would go in there on the set and just do fucking But I would never get on the scale. I didn't even want to see the fucking scale. I got I didn't want to see the fucking scale Like I didn't find that I was 418 Till I went to Some fucking place and I got on their scale
Starting point is 00:32:23 It was like some doctor's office and I was like four fucking 16. I think I was that's the truth And I mean that number 400 like once you cross that I mean, no, you're done. You're done. You're in murky waters of death Yeah, it was something professor that I can't my wife was tying my shoelaces She wasn't even married to me yet. Is this the same wife you have? No, yes I have now sure she really loves you. She was tying my shoelaces after the longest yard I said, fuck it. I'll play the flat fat guy. If they're gonna pay me I'll play the fat guy And I kept doing it. But guess what? There was no more fat roles So I thought it was acceptable, you know, I thought I really thought this is acceptable behavior for me to do this
Starting point is 00:33:07 And I went across the street to the ymca finally one day I treated the ymca like it was a gay bar Like I wouldn't even look at it. Like I knew I mean Professor when I tell you it was across the street. I'm not telling you it was a wrong the call. It wasn't even a 60 Pace walk from my front door to the ymca. It was a three minute walk It's basically a free jump and it's a free jump and I treated it like it was a place that gave out aids I'm not going there. They're gonna give me aids in there. And then finally I go, let me just go in there See what's up. I took up a brochure a pamphlet and said
Starting point is 00:33:45 Coming for a free health Evaluation with a trainer Okay, and I fucking signed up and I made it to the appointment And the guy put me on the treadmill And they fucking they put it up to point five I think I had to get off after 30 something. So I got down and the guy goes listen Go quit smoking Go for walks and come back when you lose 30 pounds. He goes there's nothing I can do for you. Well
Starting point is 00:34:14 And then I went back there on my own after I would box in the mornings and then go back there on my own and uh Hit the bag and I would ride the stationary bicycle at that time And that and I went to weight watches weight watches the best thing that ever happened to me because they taught me how to think yet And especially now today the program is tremendous because it's all protein. It's all this Fair enough. You know, they don't even want you to read even red meats a little Seriously, like I had pot roast today and it cost me in the points then the points I've never I'm not familiar with weight watches remind me how it works again right now at this time
Starting point is 00:34:53 Any piece of fish Shellfish is free You can eat as much as you want. You got six lobs of tails Bring them on. Okay. No sauce, but just the meat itself just to meet itself. It's five points For a tablespoon of butter Five points five points. So you better play your cards, right? How many points do you get a day? 40 Okay, okay. Yeah, sure enough and so
Starting point is 00:35:21 If I eat eggs are free There's many eggs as you want 65 eggs a day. Damn. Okay and chicken breast are free Mm-hmm. You can't lose because protein like keeps you feeling full. Yeah, so you can't lose, you know Vegetables are free juices free. That's what you and I were discussing on the way up here A couple weeks ago. I weighed in that was a pound overweight. I got how did I gain a pound? It was because I was going to the acai place And she explained to me that eating fruit and blending fruit is two different stories because if you're saliva Your enzymes in your mouth break it down and separate the sugars or something like that
Starting point is 00:35:57 So just learning that it was worth the fucking program. Now. I know that Like they agree if you want to eat three bananas with your eggs If you eat two six scrambled eggs And three bananas, it's fucking free Wow Like you just ate breakfast for free if you could do that If you put ketchup on your fucking eggs, it's gonna cost you a couple points, but So there's ways to finagle the system
Starting point is 00:36:21 And you lose weight Yeah, and you lose weight you learn how to eat the right way You know how many people have like I was referred for that surgery and knock on what I didn't do it Yeah, it doesn't do nothing because it doesn't change your reading habits The best thing that ever happened to me was Me walking into a brazilian jujitsu school That's cool. How I came upon you the best day of my like
Starting point is 00:36:51 I never had a good day when I was growing up like maybe I went to five star basketball camp Maybe you know those accomplishments, but for 16 20 years I was stuck in a rut So the best accomplishment I made was getting married another accomplishment was sticking with stand-up The biggest accomplishment was getting off the drug of drugs And then getting married and having my daughter the big accomplishments But for me what changed my life completely was walking into a jujitsu studio. You know, that's cool Yeah, it's it's a lot of people have had their lives turned around completely. There's a guy. Um, I forget his surname. I think His first name is josh you can find him if you search for jujitsu saved my life and he lost
Starting point is 00:37:37 I think he lost him in like 50 or 60 pounds In a year and he devoted himself to jujitsu. He was like a really unhappy out of shape Had no drive no zest for life And um, he started doing jujitsu and all those things were taken care of and I think it's because like, you know, you're hanging out with people and Your your brain is engaged. Your body's engaged. It's just a very healthy thing to do it What jujitsu did for me was It showed me how weak I really was It showed me that what I was thinking about being in shape. I was completely wrong
Starting point is 00:38:12 It showed me that I was eating wrong. It showed me I was living my life wrong It was a real wake-up call and I still remember joining jujitsu being involved with jujitsu, maybe three months and getting on stage And bombing I opened up for rogue in downtown like in the summer in july. It was like a summer gig When which year was this? No, what are we two seventeen we're two eighteen. No, yeah, two eighteen. So this is two thirteen So this is I joined jujitsu
Starting point is 00:38:46 in uh, 13, okay But I joined like in march or something after the baby was born Just that july I did a show And so jujitsu When I walked out of that jujitsu school after I did a couple hip escapes I never felt my head feel that way. I never felt my body Like I said when I was walking out and getting into the car. I said I'm happy I did this because I know I'm never gonna do this again But by the time I got in the car and made the right turn on burbank boulevard and was headed back to cumston
Starting point is 00:39:22 I realized that I had to come back Because this can't exist in my life These holes in my game. What if something really happens and I have my daughter And I can't handle myself. This is what I need to do And I went to that place for a few months and I didn't really I loved it It was completely blind. I was basically going in there to breathe professor. That's it If I could fucking breathe never mind an arm bar. Never mind a mount from fucking Quasi modos knuckles
Starting point is 00:39:53 I'm just worrying about breathing and living if I could come back to my car and live Like I would write like a will before I went to jujitsu on monday, you know It fucked with me professor It fucked with me that I started pressing in youtube And then you came up and the first video you spoke about was breathing And how get on your side or something don't stay on your back and blah blah blah And I was like first off if anybody knows anything about me. I don't really like these fucking limey accents But your accent was fucking
Starting point is 00:40:28 soothing Your voice was very soothing. I could tell that you were a patient professor I appreciate that I could tell that if I was in your class you would come over and go No, put your leg so I started watching all your videos and it really really really really encouraged me That's great. Like I knew that I had a shot now They weren't keep telling me those little things. I so I realized I was at the wrong place That made me automatically realize I was at the wrong place and I got a writing job which made me go to higgins And once that writing job ended I couldn't justify going down to higgins
Starting point is 00:41:00 I like higgins stuff, but there was nobody in the class in the daytime After time I go down there to talk, you know I'm saying so Albertos I loved You know, I was with Alberto for two years. Love him still friend of mine, whatever But once I got this little gig and I started getting a little busy with my schedule change And like I said before the class started I read one of Roy Dean's He fought John Jack Machado to the death, didn't he? No, he's
Starting point is 00:41:27 Not to the death His coach Roy Harris fought Roy Harris. That's who's article. Okay. See you see Roy Harris's article He's in San Diego. Yeah. Yeah. He's a good instructor. He's very good. I tried to get him on the podcast I think he watched it heard the curse words and he's fucking yes. He's quite a religious cut. Yeah. He's a really that's what that's what I heard Yeah, I think he uh, so the story with him is um, he Again, I don't I can only repeat the story second hand, but it's my understanding that he Got one of the great one of the machatos at training
Starting point is 00:42:02 He was like a purple belt or something and he got one of them in this really tricky move called a banana split Which is where you're basically twisting the guys back and then they kicked him out because They were pissed off about that because it wasn't like a true jiu-jitsu move apparently it was kind of like more of a Almost like an illegal move and then he went and got his black belt somewhere else and then there was kind of this grudge match between him and jan jaak and At that time jan jaak
Starting point is 00:42:28 He was winning a lot of stuff. I think he had 180cc and a whole bunch of other big tournaments and Roy Roy Harris had just got his black belt and so these guys fought And jan jaak won but only by two points and apparently Roy Harris had him in a couple of very compromising Positions obviously jan jaak managed to escape and I thought that was a pretty cool story That he could get to that level because jan jaak is uh He's no joke man. That guy is Jiu-jitsu is one of the only things that you ever hear that with like Hey, I lost but I only lost by one point like and that's like a not that it's not an accomplishment but
Starting point is 00:43:08 He grew you think like oh only winning is something to be proud of be like no this guy's so good I only lost by five points. That was amazing Well, I mean it depends how amazing the guy you're fighting is if he's I mean if you only lost by one point to a chump, you're still a chump, right? But uh, if you only lose by a couple points to a guy like jan jaak, then then you can hold your head up, right? Now, why did jiu-jitsu? Hit me so hard like that Why did it show me all my weaknesses?
Starting point is 00:43:36 And I'll tell you what else jiu-jitsu did it made me a better comedian. No way. I'd like to hear how that's true because well, it wasn't jiu-jitsu as much as mma The whole game of mma. I would see guys in between fights And it's always the same shit Yeah, uh, you know lisa. That's tough, but wait till he goes up against my right hand So that's all you're talking about for the rest of your life is your right hand. You're not gonna work on an unbar
Starting point is 00:44:05 You're not gonna work on a leg kick. You're not gonna work on a fucking judo throw So right there it opened up my horizons like look how these guys are thinking they depend too much on one thing You can't depend too much on one thing. Yeah, there's that saying yourself out You've heard the saying uh over specialization breeds weakness. Yes. Yeah, that's it. You know with comedy the other day We had a great conversation here where Dean dowry was saying for a year. He forced himself to go on stage and just improvise You know, you got nothing but time you got nothing to lose improvise Well, you can't because that teaches you a different muscle
Starting point is 00:44:42 Then for a year you force yourself to host Even though you don't want to be a fucking host because hosting teaches you how to control the tempo Of a comedy show how to control the tempo if this guy sucks you got to bring that audience back Just because this guy sucks don't mean you can't let the show go now You got to go up there and save that joke, but you already did that joke So Jesus now you got to do a better joke You got to go in between eight and nine people three or four people So there's so many aspects to comedy
Starting point is 00:45:11 And the same way there's so many aspects to jiu-jitsu, you know the same way there's so many aspects to life to life It's like everybody praises Bruce Lee. I love him. I love it. I love what he did for me as I was growing up, but If you really think about it G kundou is what we all do at one point in our lives You figure out what works for you We do a complete set of fucking things you do them the same way every day And you it equals to a certain type of success. I do the same shit every day at the same fucking time
Starting point is 00:45:44 You know that wasn't taught to me that was that's not who I am I don't want to do the same shit every day at the same time But for me to get to a level where I want to be at this is what needs to be done I don't give a fuck if your asshole hurts. I don't give a fuck if you suck the thousand big I don't give a fuck if your back hurts. I don't give a fuck if you don't feel good this is what needs to be done on a daily basis and you know And when the time comes when you get the success whatever you're looking for
Starting point is 00:46:12 What needs to be done is going to change probably as well. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. No, listen getting there is one thing Staying there is another Staying at that level in your mind You know, I've realized now for me to be a sharp comic on the weekends when I work I got together on stage a lot more than what I'm getting on stage recently A little older, you know, I'm starting to get into that fucking nap page You need a nap from time to time and put you together, you know what I'm saying? But if it means going to the fourth wall
Starting point is 00:46:40 During the week or going to flappers You know just to get an easier spot because it's closer to my house And I have to drive over the hill to sunset boulevard and put up with all that stuff I do that, you know, I might as well do that tonight. I'm going I got local spots tonight I'd rather do those. I keep myself active Roy Roy Dean actually Roy Harrod the guy we were speaking about earlier Roy Dean is one of his blackboards So I actually was just at his house this weekend in uh in prom desert and he said something
Starting point is 00:47:07 To me or I didn't say it to me It was in one of his books called beyond the blackboard and it always stuck with me because it changed my life actually because you know, I was always the guy who I thought that You know anything you wanted to be good at let's say it was jiu-jitsu or business or relationships or whatever it was That you could go read the book Do the work do the practice and you could earn that ability and then you've got and you can check the box Okay, I'm a jiu-jitsu guy. I'm a comedy guy. I'm a great lover. Whatever it is, right? But it doesn't work like that. I realized that
Starting point is 00:47:37 What what Roy Dean said is as a man, you're always paying your dues always that never stops never stop It never done that that it was it was difficult for me to accept that because I thought it was I thought there was a finish line, right? Like one day I'll have my shit figured out and I can chill out, but it doesn't work like that. Yeah Wow scary, you know a lot of people A lot of young kids listen to this show young men And I love that they listen to this show because I want them to know What they're getting what nobody tells you, you know the shit you got to figure out wrong the way
Starting point is 00:48:10 This is what this show is for these guys I could look you in the fucking eye and tell you two things number one If you felt both of you start that the age of 21, I'd be working as hard as I'm working now You're fucking out of your mind and number two I didn't even think I'd be fucking alive right now. Never mind working. I'm working harder today guys Than what I did at 25. No, I put more hours in a week now Than what I do at 25 and don't tell me about going on the road. That's a complete different set of fucking hours I never thought I'd work this hard like I never thought this is mentally, you know, because there's a lot of mental involved
Starting point is 00:48:51 You do a lot of writing It's a lot of mental involved a lot of notebooks a lot of pages The writing alone is two hours a day and you really some days don't get nothing out of those two hours You really don't you're just making joint, you know, unless you're writing like a book that's ready to go sometimes I'm trying to write a book and fucking write a comedy routine at the same time because Wow, I'm writing the book at least I'm not doing dead air It's not dead air. I'm not wasting my time and sometimes I'll go back to that joke and go
Starting point is 00:49:21 Maybe I'll attack it from this way And that's what also jiu-jitsu has done. It's opened up my thinking avenues It opens up your thinking patterns and now you write different types of jokes, you know, because In jiu-jitsu, you can't go full speed all the way For me at my age, I got a roll and a rest for a minute roll rest for a minute And I try to do the same thing on stage and I I learned that from jiu-jitsu And you find like when you take that rest it kind of on stage it kind of builds
Starting point is 00:49:51 Tension in the audience and that makes the joke break better. Yes. Absolutely. All those things have jiu-jitsu has opened up my eyes that It's made me a way better comedian. It's fucking crazy. It's crazy. You said to me earlier. Why do you think jiu-jitsu caught you? So so hard like and I mean I have an answer might not be the right one, but I have one You know, I sitting with my friend Jake who runs budo videos calm Which is a big martial arts. He's you know him budo Jake. I'm sure you've seen him before. Yeah He interviews a lot of jiu-jitsu guys
Starting point is 00:50:26 Very cool dude and and uh, his new thing is acro yoga You know the acro yoga what you do with a partner? So basically you line your back and then your partner will do like a handstand off your hands or something like that So one guy's supporting and then the other person is being like held up and they're balancing And he was teaching me some of this stuff and we were out in the park doing it and I said to him man, this is This is as far from A bad lifestyle day as possible Like we're on the other end of the spectrum like the crappiest thing we could be doing today is
Starting point is 00:50:59 Sitting under some fluorescent lights Hunched over a computer Eating some bad food, you know, like doing something we don't enjoy and we're on the other side of that spectrum And I think jiu-jitsu is also there like when you go to a gym Okay, you're doing physical activity, right? It's using your body. It's using your mind But you're also connecting with people you're talking to people like you're you it's camaraderie, right? It's fellowship something that a lot of people don't get and it's I think these are things that people crave man people crave
Starting point is 00:51:28 Human contact they crave stimulation intellectual stimulation physical stimulation And maybe you just got those things in a way that you weren't getting before. I don't know I guess I know for a fact that When I look at my daily schedule If I see a lot of holes in that schedule I will definitely go to jiu-jitsu or make me go to jiu-jitsu. No, even though I was gonna go anyway It would make me go more so I get human contact So I feel
Starting point is 00:51:57 Like a regular person You know I'm saying yeah, because I mean I don't know about you, but I spent a lot of time Working from home alone right or working from a coffee shop and after like a few hours Yeah, you start feeling you get like cabin fever and you start feeling strange like a Like the walking dead basically and then when you connect then you go to jiu-jitsu class in the evening You connect you see like 10 or 20 or 30 people And you work and you sweat and like your body's moving when when you leave that class I feel human again. You know, does that make sense? I usually my old schedule was
Starting point is 00:52:30 Leave the house and they go to the coffee shop eat breakfast make a few calls, right? And then at 10 10 15 go home first off for your back. You can't sit there. Oh, yeah, it's so bad So I give myself two hours now. That's all that's all your back's got to say. That's all you got to say So 8 30 to 10 30 I get up. I go home. I do some other work on my computer Maybe help my wife with shit. She answers And then I start putting my gear, you know, and I go over there And it's like I said 12 to 115. You know, that's a couple jumping jacks. Boom. Boom. Boom. You get the fuck out of there
Starting point is 00:53:08 You go home. You take a shower. You write down the first thing I do is log in my calendar that I trained What I learned That's cool. And how many times I rolled and how I did and what I got out of the class You know what today? I got fucking tapped 18 times, but I'll tell you what did happen I fucking retained my guard from professor one time So I don't focus on the negative I focus on that one positive I did because I'm gonna get choked out every day if I go But every day I do something else. I crawl underneath
Starting point is 00:53:40 I bump a guy off that's in the mount over me. I do something So I take that one thing and I use it as a positive. That's cool. And Instead of killing myself and going to class and judging myself against what everybody else is doing I got a plan. I'm learning the technique. I'm rolling five three times and I'm going home. No matter how I feel I'm I will do the commitment of three times so I could walk again tomorrow And come back on fucking Thursday. Yeah, he it's like I think the gym is the same or any any like thing that challenges you Often man, often there times I've got a
Starting point is 00:54:15 Jiu-Jitsu class that evening or in the morning or there's a workout on At lunchtime, whatever and I don't want to do it man. I don't fucking want to do it But there's one thing that always happens when I do it and that is afterwards. I'm glad I did it Every single time no matter how much I didn't want to do it Guaranteed I come out of that workout. I'm like, yeah, I feel better. I did the same thing Saturday Yeah, I went to a move. I was in Columbus Thursday. I flew in it was the red eye I slept all day. I had worked out three days in a row anyway. I needed a recovery day anyway So I used Thursday Friday. I went to crew hopes gym short north movie tie
Starting point is 00:54:52 And Saturday I usually since I'm gonna leave early I took a nap But I woke up at like two feeling kind of shitty I went I got up for breakfast eight breakfast went out smoked a joint Walked around for a half hour just to burn off the breakfast and I went upstairs and fell asleep to about 130 I had a piece of fish and I went back to the room and I was like, all right And finally if they were gonna pick me up at 6 45 and five I said fuck this I'm going to the gym And I ran downstairs at the 20 on the eucalyptus whatever the elliptical
Starting point is 00:55:23 I had 25 minutes to lift and I did every body part I did sit-ups with the eight to 12 pound ball. This is gym in your house and no tell No, it's okay. I'm training my one thing. Listen, like I said, we all have our own personal jicundo Joe Rogan's a winner And you know why because since I've known him he works on on the road before the shows interesting Ever since I've known Joe, I remember him making me go to the gym one time like Joey You have to go to the gym look at the size of you
Starting point is 00:55:52 And he would be fucking jumping up and down and I'd be with a dumbbell in the corner But he goes at least you can't he didn't sit in your room and you got to think and I never really thought about And then when I would go on the road by myself like I'd walk past the gym and give it the finger Fuck you Fuck you. Yeah, and now the gym is imperative on the road both days. Yeah, you know the there's uh, it's like a a common element amongst all People who are actualized and are are really making their way and making their mark in the world and that is
Starting point is 00:56:25 That they exercise Some kind of might be jiu-jitsu might be yoga It might be I don't know shooting hoops a couple of times a week But like your body's made to move it's made to exercise and if you if you violate that you're going to pay the price in somewhere Another whether it's your mind's going to get stale or you're going to get sick or you're going to get fat It's going to happen. I got really sick. I think that the sleep app here The fat growing up on me and maybe the fat crawled up on me and 20 pound increments You know one minute. I'd be 360 and I'd be 380
Starting point is 00:56:56 One minute. I'm 380 the next minute. I'm 400 I'll never forget when I found that I was 416 what I felt like that day when I got home. Yeah and then like a week later I did a commercial had uh We're Pacquiao trains Okay, Freddy wrote pretty much. We did a commercial at night And the guy that let us in was one of Freddy's trainers and we got to talk and he goes, you know, I saw you no longer shot And when I'm watching you I can tell you can't fucking breathe
Starting point is 00:57:27 He goes, don't you want to take care of it and what you want to live and I was like, what the fuck? He was Boston And he goes come to the gym every day and give me 20 hours not training you for an hour And I would have to wear two pair underwear because I would pee my pants when he was training me. I couldn't breathe I can imagine. Don't breathe. Yeah, and then at the 370 mark. I finally gave in and went away watches And what do you what do you ain't all joy? 283. Yeah, I mean not many people lose 140 pounds. I gotta do another I gotta go down to 265 so I could fight steep in male chick just in case he falls out against standard court man I'm gonna go down to 265 is my goal. There's no reason why I should wait 200 more than 65
Starting point is 00:58:10 At 265, I'll see where I am, but I will tell you this When I started going over and training with Brett The second day he said something to me that struck a chord I said something he goes, you know, what's crazy. I could feel weight on me Now that I've been doing jujitsu for 20 years You feel weight on you by the by the way you wrote like what do you mean? He goes, I could tell when I go home and eat with my family I could feel the 10 pounds when I roll. It's a big difference. Yeah 100 days on
Starting point is 00:58:45 These 20 whatever pounds I lost Big difference. Yeah, I wrote and it's only gonna get better. You the next 20 is gonna be better. Oh my god Now I could roll like I said three five minute Legit rounds. That's cool. I can't bear him bow low I don't want you to throw me. I don't want to throw you professor. I'm gonna throw you full Oh, what's the use? He's a poor god or I'll fucking poor god. Make up your fucking mind and do something. Don't just fucking lay there Let me give you some shout outs real quick here
Starting point is 00:59:14 Let's see what the fuck is cracking like us My girl Lisa Tizio of my friend the 50 fucking years happy birthday Billy Farley, Kyle Wallace Joe Caesaree uncle Donnie My fucking main man down in Miami Lorenzo Toledo Megan O'Brien Mike AX 227 John R star
Starting point is 00:59:39 And unique net, you know, I love you cocksuckers. Don't forget Next weekend. We're at the Tempe motherfucking improv Thursday Friday and Saturday Then I'm in Providence, Rhode Island on the 17th, which is sold out. So don't even bother And then we're at the fucking stress factory the 18th and 19th in new new new jersey and shit But besides that so you just launched something that Is fucking revolutionary I got a good chance to look at it on the plane because I downloaded it to my Laptop like the little fucking. What's it? What did my wife buy me an iPad the unipad because I don't know what the fuck
Starting point is 01:00:17 I'm doing so my wife got me an iPad I went on your uh The master master academy fucking tremendous. I'm so happy. I'll tell you what was really interesting about it The the critique the rolling analysis the rolling analysis a lot of work How long did you come up with this concept for? I mean, that's why I called you the guy was there if that There's a lot of well-known names in jujitsu, but in my book You are the true kung fu
Starting point is 01:00:46 Of jujitsu. Thanks for the world You got a great smile a great voice. You're very soothing You really spread the love side of jujitsu. Thanks so much for that people don't understand I mean any any the thing the other thing I downloaded the other the book you sent me And that was beyond the block that was great. That was great. The one that you give me a shout out for uh, there's a thousand scams on the internet Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got Which they really are really because you talked about friends of yours that you hadn't met and stuff like that But tell me more about this master online academy like tell people
Starting point is 01:01:20 Break it down like what are the true advantages? I mean, I saw it with the The analysis that's what I really like, you know, I always love your technique You always offer a new exercise. I mean, you're like a fucking you just spread I appreciate you Man, you know, like look, I've never I've taught it a few jujitsu academies, but I've never owned my own academy And that's generally the path like for someone who makes jujitsu their career is They either become an MMA fighter or they own a gym or they do both, right? That's the the path
Starting point is 01:01:49 But for me, I'm the kind of person I don't want to do anything like half measures I've always been if I'm going to do something I want to give it my full focus and attention And when I arrived here in the United States, I was considering opening a gym, but something was holding me back because uh You know, I travel a lot. I go to teach seminars in different parts of the world and If you travel a lot, you can't focus on an academy because you can't you're not there all the time and I just had the feeling I would I wouldn't be able to give that academy as much attention as as I as I should You know, and I'd have these students who I'd see
Starting point is 01:02:26 For a week and then I'd be away for two weeks and then I come back and see them again And I'd never be able to give like full commitment. So what I thought is like You know, the best way around this is to have an online academy because then I can put my full focus and It's open all the time and I can do it from the road and I can film and Uh add stuff to it all the time and yeah, that's what I've done And I just I've tried to pour everything of my understanding of jujitsu and the way I approach my jujitsu training and the way I teach Into that and I guess that's the best way I can describe it. What you're just phenomenal. I think I watch you You know, you tape some seminars and I watch little things that you do
Starting point is 01:03:06 And it's weird because I've watched other videos and there's a lot of information on the internet about jujitsu You can become a fucking black belt now online With a little dummy next to you do little moves and shit like what real little dummies what I'm saying, but You teach the little things For some reason when I first started the first year I would look at your little whenever I would learn a moving class I would look to see if you taught it And I would learn to see the techniques that they left out, you know, it's In jujitsu in the first two or two academies I went to it was like an Italian mother giving you a recipe
Starting point is 01:03:41 They always leave something out for you to figure out on your own, you know saying like and then once you figured out you're like, ah That's what jujitsu is jujitsu Is an art like stand-up comedy Because not everybody's gonna do an on-bar the same way Lee does the style of jokes and I do a style of jokes It's our world your jujitsu. Like I said to you. I have a plan now It's either a collar choke A scissor sweet one on bar and once that plan gets aboard it starts all over again
Starting point is 01:04:10 And that plan also throws you off because I'm always attacking off my back. I'm always attacking. I'm always attacking It's tough for you to pass if I'm constantly attacking. I'm breathing. I'm focused. I got my neck up off the skin I'm saying like I'm doing all these things If I thank jujitsu just for the breathing aspect of what's happened I got so serious about I got the boss rooting mouthpiece No, shit, and I got the boss rooting mouthpiece and I did and I said fuck this this works So I said let me take this let me do let me he did it something different I went on youtube and saw a black dude throwing sidekicks for jesus with the mouthpiece
Starting point is 01:04:46 I said fuck this. I'm gonna take the mouthpiece and start going for walks. Oh my god Like the first half hour you feel like you're gonna pass out. Yeah first first two minutes You're like i'm gonna go down any minutes like somebody's choking you little by little But I kept saying to myself breathe it out joey breathe it out breathe it out And I started doing that and that alone I mean when you do that shit for a half hour you just bring the mouthpiece almost like you do the thousand set up Shit, I mean I really put work into my jujitsu game
Starting point is 01:05:17 But it's not my jujitsu game. I put work into my game Like my own life game 100 it hasn't been for jujitsu. That's why I'm saying I benefited so much From walking into that academy. Yeah, but you know like uh one of the things I'm I'm very fond of discussing with people is Okay, jujitsu look It's it's grappling, right? It's it's trying to strangle the other guy, right? But you know how They're these better ways Of strangling people and there's better ways of doing armbars and there's better ways of doing sweeps
Starting point is 01:05:51 And that's what jujitsu is. It's trying to find those best most efficient ways And I think that life is so much like that man you in everything in life There are better the the average ways and there's better ways of doing it whatever whether it's talking to someone or Doing a business deal or eating a meal whatever it is There's better ways to do things and I'm always looking for those better ways not just in jujitsu But in everything and everything and I think that's like a that's a healthy mindset to have right like life is jujitsu You know you you're trying to jujitsu life, right? You're trying to do it as best you can But at least that's my theory, right? It's like I said before we all have a g kundala works for you
Starting point is 01:06:30 G kundal my g kundal a little bit has been taken from you A little bit has been taken from rogan. I learned a lot from Ralphie may as a comic And then I learned from richard prized mistakes, you know, I've learned from kenosins mistakes I'd learned from dice's mistakes just being a spectator to them You know how i'm supposed to act in comedy and stuff like that And you put it all together and it comes up with a recipe and that's where you are You know as I could admit this to anybody. I'm just
Starting point is 01:07:03 10 people rolled up into one People that I got to meet that I thought they did something that was successful And I was going to state take that element from their lives And that's what I do, you know, I look at podcasts who are the best podcasters I see what they're doing and I do exactly what they're doing only with my flavor. That's the g kundal You know, I'm still doing this podcast. I want to do it What was what was bruce lee saying I think absorb what is useful reject what is useless. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah Why are you looking at what number 30 is doing? Look at what number one is doing. Yeah, and don't steal his move
Starting point is 01:07:39 Steal what he's thinking Steal the concept of what he's thinking to make him that good. It's not that he practices better than you It's not that he's stronger than you that's that he's younger than you he did something to get there Watch what he's doing and that'll get you that add your flavor what you bring to the table And together you'll get there to whatever point you think successes whatever your successes, you know and always give credit as well Always always man. I've emulated from dr. J You know my style of comedy is dr. J. I'm taking it to the fucking hoop jack I ain't got time to dig around and tell you a fucking fickle story. Let's go cocksucker, you know
Starting point is 01:08:18 So dr. J's, you know let it skin it you're like joey. What the fuck does let it skin it teaches Let it skin it teaches me to go out there and overpower the audience with my Whatever i'm thinking I don't give a fuck what you're thinking dog. This is what i'm thinking for you to win an audience over that's your attitude once you Like the other night we were doing an open mic lee and I and some great little arab kid went up on stage and he asked if this word was offensive
Starting point is 01:08:48 I thought that was the biggest mistake a comic could ever do. Are you allowed to say which word that was? Uh, what was it? Joe may say it? Yeah, he said it is the gay man's anus Offensive and he didn't even say I think it was just I think that was a joke. It was a joke. It was a joke, but he still asked You never ask You never asked the mission to do your art. Yeah, it's your art. Yeah That's uh, funny enough. It's it reminds me of another saying. Uh, I think it's from that book by tim ferris The guy wrote the four hour work week and he said, uh
Starting point is 01:09:20 I hope I get this right. He said you ask Permission later act first and ask permission afterwards. Yeah. Yeah, which I think is cool a lot of people We're trained as like in western society like in school You're trained to like follow the rules and not like deviate from the path, right? But the people who make it the furthest and live the most exciting lives They don't necessarily break the rules, but they definitely bend them. You bend them. Yeah, you have to bend them a little bit Yeah, I didn't like when I came, you know, that was a young man. I didn't I bought it. I bought it for a while
Starting point is 01:09:53 I bought the white fence With the house and marrying your high school sweetheart and doing all that shit And you see the american dream is an american grave The american dream is truly the american grave if the american dream is buying a house And working 50 hours a week till you die till you get a gold watch when you're 65. Hopefully That's a dead dream. Yeah I think the american dream is coming here and giving yourself no limitations You know, I told Lidia day or somebody who was on the show when I became a car salesman
Starting point is 01:10:29 It was the best thing I ever did because It taught me that you don't need to have a ceiling on your income. You know what go for it, bitch Go for it Some months you make 2000 some months you make 800, but then some months you're gonna make 10,000 You're not gonna know until you try You could keep sitting this fucking job or you go for it and life generally There's a there's a saying I love which is um
Starting point is 01:10:55 Nature loves courage Right Yeah, it does nature loves courage like and that You know, you know, I've seen that the people who everyone's story is the same Everyone who makes it their story is the same there was a point Where there was no one helping them and it came the situation was dire and it came down to them They had to take courageous action. No one could do it for them and you can't fake it You know, they had to fucking make that leap whether it's move somewhere or take some job
Starting point is 01:11:25 They were a terrified of or they had to do that on their own and uh, I find that fascinating Yeah, you know, it's so weird how people think you could just pay john jackmichato 400 an hour I'll do that 10 weeks now become a jiu-jitsu master They don't see the true essence how it is that going it's going to a class going to a couple classes a week I think the new society expects gratification too quickly You know, I didn't even see any form of comedy success really for seven years. You know what it is to do something For seven or eight years and see nothing known that you're just a fucking ham and anger It wasn't till mitzvah rest in soul made me irregular that I'm going well, maybe there is something to this
Starting point is 01:12:07 It's like becoming a purple belt and jiu-jitsu when you Don't aren't really a purple belt, you know, and then you become a purple belt Yeah, like when I got into the comedy store, I wasn't a good comedian But it forced me to become a good comedian quickly because if not, I was going to go away and not get another shot So I had to go back to basics one of the basics Close guard. Yeah arm bar says asleep. It's interesting Audio book yesterday and this guy was telling the story of this this guy Who ran his business?
Starting point is 01:12:40 I had had a business and it wasn't doing well And he hated it and he said every day you'd get to his offices And he'd say to himself I just have to open the door. I just have to put the key in the door and open it. That's all I have to do today and Eventually like the business turned around and he became a successful guy But he says he sometimes Reminisces on that and realizes how how many times he came so close
Starting point is 01:13:06 To just not opening that door and just saying i'm done and then he's just so happy he pushed through And fuck man. Everyone who makes it has days like that. Everyone every single person who's made it. I'm sure has many days where they're like I just I don't want to do this anymore. I want to give up, right? It's not worth it or it's not working And it's having that like courage to push through I think which is really important. I mean I went to my knee doctor When I was in jujitsu like a year and I was really struggling. I didn't know what was going on I would just go to jujitsu to die basically I went to the knee doctor and he goes listen quit that shit
Starting point is 01:13:43 He goes for some reason i've been getting people coming in here with broken fucking ankles and shit from that jujitsu Shit the last fucking two years really to create. Why do fucking people do that type of shit? Quit that shit. I remember driving home going. He's right Who the fuck am I to think? But I could do that type of stuff. I'm fucking quitting. I'm like, I remember driving home going. Fuck him I'm not fucking quit. You doing some seminars this week. I'm indeed um at your guy tomorrow As of conscience over on Lancashire and north hollywood great place 7 30 start indeed. So what's the name of it called? You're you're this seminar to efficiency. Uh beyond technique beyond technique seminar tour. Okay, and then where are you sat there?
Starting point is 01:14:25 You're somewhere phoenix and black flag jujitsu. Okay, and that's your new home Tucson is my new home Tucson. Yeah, that's where my kid nappy is. Yeah That's where the kid nappy is he's coming He's coming to the show on tempi. He's coming friday night, which is gonna be interesting If ken vela shows up to tempi on friday night people and you're there I'm gonna put him on stage and tom to say his side of the story From his perspective of getting kidnapped and the whole fucking deal. It's kind of crazy But it happened and I can't change around
Starting point is 01:14:57 My wife and I are gonna come to your show on saturday and tempi as well. I will leave you tickets at the door Professor, I'm happy to see you me as well. Thank you for doing what you do. Thank you the public You know, I don't know what it costs for the marking what you do or whatever it is a month Whatever it is, it's more than worth it. Why because this guy loves jujitsu Like I said, he is the true kung fu of jujitsu and uh, I love you to death. Thank you so much for doing your videos Thanks for having me. Thank you for all the content. Thank you for the emails. I mean you really stay on it and uh Sometimes you you're like, I don't want to go to jujitsu today And also you look at your emails and there's an email from you
Starting point is 01:15:37 Talking about a friend of yours. Plus you have a great podcast, you know, this week you have the guy on Oh, he's great. He's fucking great. John Heinz. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't listened to it yet But I heard his name before you have a great podcast I mean you dedicate your life to this and I was thinking about you and I want you to tell people the truth When you commit To what you love does the universe not take care of you? Oh dude When you go to Thailand you told me a story once about Thailand or something. I'm like
Starting point is 01:16:04 Tell these motherfuckers of the universe doesn't take care of you. It's that guy who hosted um The guy who hosted that the miss world and he kind of got it wrong. I forget his name Steve Harvey Steve Harvey like uh, he he's got an interesting clip on youtube and he said it's like You've got this parachute on your back, right? Which is the universe of support But the only way you're gonna know if that parachute works is if you jump out the plane It's if you take that courageous step That's the only way to tell and you have to do that. There's no one else who can do it for you
Starting point is 01:16:32 So I would say yes the universe does stuff up to support you If somebody wants to join up for the master online, what do they do? Oh, just head on over to jujitsumasteracademy.com And everything is there plain and simple. Yeah, if they use um coupon code podcast they can get 10% off. I'm gonna wear my jujitsu Brotherhood. Oh, yeah. Yeah in the rash. Well when we said that to you It was a white belt one and then you got your blue by the time it arrived you had your blue belt So you gotta send you another one. I don't care. I'm just happy that I still represent it. That's cool. I'm happy you made time for us
Starting point is 01:17:05 I'm looking forward to the uh seven autumn on night 7 30 over here in no ho at uh subconscious bjj Give them a call right now. I'm sure they're there and make reservations It's a big place but it's a small place, you know, you know So make your reservations and get your shit together. Thank you again professor. Thanks so much again Jewish lightning, you know, I love you cocksuck everything all right in your world. Everything's beautiful Let's get over this fucking faggy bronchi that she got and this shit again If you're looking for a great gi fuji sports.com I love fuji. If you're a big guy, they got you covered
Starting point is 01:17:39 You know, I went from an a6 to an a5 now I gotta go to an a4 and then hopefully an a3 But they're tough why because I was always on top and I'd be pulled on yanked on Fucking tried to arm drag and guess what bitches they couldn't never rip the gi That's why I believe in the superado gi So go to fuji sports.com right now and press in church And get 10 off delivered to your house, but she's important the podcast Also
Starting point is 01:18:07 To my favorite supplement company out there who takes care of me always on it.com If it's not the shroom tech sport, it's the shroom tech immune. I fly a lot The immune you don't see me fucking coughing and the shroom tech sport. I take a half a fucking little capsule Excuse me, and I'm jumping up and down like a mexican fucking bean So go to on it.com right now and press in church Another one get 10 off delivered right to your house. I want to thank Professor nick gogriatis And my main christ killer lisa. Yeah, and I want to thank you guys for listening
Starting point is 01:18:40 I'll see you motherfuckers nice and early monday morning. Don't forget bitches tip tempi, arizona Sink us demias the cuban in mexicanville throwing it down. I love you cocksucker stay black Have a great weekend, and I'll see you guys next week. Love you motherfuckers You From the back streets, there's a room there It's my love and I'll keep No more nice time, rock my shoes shy High in the sky, dream
Starting point is 01:19:47 Lights out, lights out in London World types till the end Better now, you know we'll never Wait till tomorrow Lights out, lights out in London World types till the end God knows when I'm comin' on my way Heaven help those who help themselves
Starting point is 01:20:19 That's the way it goes Brighten the thoughts, watch me talk And now we show Lights out, lights out in London World types till the end Better now, you know we'll never Wait till tomorrow Lights out, lights out in London
Starting point is 01:20:50 World types till the end God knows when I'm comin' on my way Lights out, lights out in London World types till the end Lights out, lights out in London World types till the end Better now, you know we'll never Wait till tomorrow
Starting point is 01:21:34 Lights out, lights out in London World types till the end God knows when I'm comin' on my way You can't count it, there's no ending Tried a thousand times Under your feet, the grass is growing Time has set for life Lights out, lights out in London
Starting point is 01:22:11 World types till the end Better now, you know we'll never Wait till tomorrow Lights out, lights out in London World types till the end God knows when I'm comin' on my way Lights out, lights out in London Lights out, lights out in London
Starting point is 01:23:14 World types till the end

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.