Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #579 - Nic Gregoriades
Episode Date: April 26, 2018Nic Gregoriades, the first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black belt under Roger Gracie the Host of "The Jiu Jitsu Brotherhood" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought ...to you by:   FujiSports.com - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.  Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 04/25/2018.
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Greetings from podcastville the church of what's happened now is brought to you by fujisports.com. Listen
Whether you're doing Muay Thai, whether you're doing jiu-jitsu, whether you're looking for match
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Lee don't take shroom tech immune. That's why he's got bronchitis and he can't smoke dope me
I snuck that shit. You understand me. You gotta the playing with a bunch of fucking foreigners
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Kick that fucking meal Lee oh
Shit going old school on your motherfuckers
This is one of my thieving songs in the 83 you know I'm saying
When I was fucking robbing houses, I used to get psyched up for this song
This is Madonna the first down when she was sucking dick in New York. There you go
Let's do this motherfucker. We got the Christ killer and we got my main man my mentor
Mr. Nick
Greg Ogarious
You don't want to find it professor
Shit the kill burn the midget
Oh shit
Here we go, baby
What's happened now it's a beautiful fucking Wednesday
So fucking beautiful day to be alive the birds are out the sun's out
It's like 90 degrees here in California plus my main man my jiu-jitsu mentor fucking
If you remember the show kung fu from the old series in the 70s, this is
The epitome of kung fu only for jiu-jitsu martial arts and the great Nick Greg Ogarious
How you doing my Greek friend from South Africa who I love dearly. What's happening brother? Yeah, man
Just happy to be here. I'm just enjoying the weather as well. It's so good. It's so good. You look good
Man, I just wanted to tell you as well. I'm actually not your Greek friend. I did the 23 and me test
You're not no, I'm I'm actually fine out. I'm only I can only be six percent Greek at most
and the rest is
Lebanese and British which blew my mind don't believe it though, you know, I can no I think I think the same test
I came up Chinese and fucking African which I knew I got African and when you were in a cube and you got to have
African linear. Is that right? Yeah, absolutely
So they took the slaves and these fucking savages started fucking them
Cubans were Indians, you know, like the tihono Indians and shit like that and then but anyway
I'm from fucking the fork by Spain whenever that region's called. That's the most blood I have in me. Okay. Number two is west African
Number three was chinese number four was american indian number five was champion number five was dick of death
You understand me?
Then the five was russian jew which is dick of death. Why can't I explain explaining more? I wish that's all I am is russian jew
So I don't know my wife's
Hers came back that she was an american indian
Okay, and her mother's american indian
So that's pretty cool their explanation was that if you're american indian
It doesn't trace you back for five generations something fucking crazy. So I don't know how legit 23 and me
I'm not dogging them or nothing, but like I said, I always knew that was african
For my wife's my wife's dad did it as well
And it popped up because you know, you can share
You can allow them to match you up with relatives that you didn't know you had and it popped up saying
By our estimation you have a half sister that he didn't know about and it just popped up
So he sent her a message I think he's gonna connect with her which is pretty cool
So he's got a new sister. Well, that's cool. I get to be to be very honest
I I don't I never really understood everyone doing this stuff
I'm like don't like why doesn't why does everyone care what but that would be cool to find like a long lost relative
But like I never really understood why people want to do it me
Uh, basically for the health one
They have like a screening of how you're susceptible to oh, okay
Like what diseases you could have or what problems you may have or whatever he is
I did it for that reason. I think that's it. They said you're susceptible to smoking weed, right?
I'm susceptible to smoking weed. I had a high, you know, I was
Different areas like I had a high chance of cardio just because of family history
Like you have to really look at family history
In a lot of situations, you know, did it make you change your lifestyle when you found these things out? Oh, yeah, absolutely
I know I had like a
I've always you know, I started out a really healthy guy like today
I talked to a kid that
We went to karate together that karate school
I was goofing on before but the Japanese master comes over and your gi has to be ironed
And you really buy into it for a few years and you realize it's all a fucking stunt
That the guy's coming over. He's going to ten academies. He's picking up five envelopes of five g's apiece. He's not even Japanese
You know
He doesn't even know fucking karate. He just you know, whatever like it was such a cloud of bullshit smoke
So, uh, I talked to him today. He called me, you know, we still talk 40 fucking years later. So that's cool
Does he do jiu-jitsu? No, not no, you don't do dick now. His father died and left him 10 million dollars
You know, god damn. He just spends money. He had a sex slave for a while
When I first
When I first reconnected with him about 2008
No
The first time I reconnected with him was after I did the longest yard
We spoke on the phone because he'd always contact me for years on december 17th
That's when my father and mother my mother and
His father and mother would come over to the bar. It's a cuban holiday december 17th
St. Lazarus day
So we also went to karate together and we also went to bruce lee movies together
And we hung out with another guy that was half retarded
His name is mike seriously and he says he still talks to mike
Okay, mike's family owned buildings in union city and he always lived in the basement
So mike's family lived in one building and mike lived in the other building by himself in the basement
Can you imagine being a fucking
Eight-year-old kid eight years old sharing a basement with your brother
So we turned it into a little martial arts studio
We bought the fucking thing that you hold and hit with the canvas on it
Yeah, come it up. He had poles. We wrapped them with foam. We kicked the fucking things
So we would always sleep over crazy mike is what we called. Okay. Is that the one where someone went through a wall or something?
No, that was mario diaz's house. That was that was a cuban chinese kid that his parents were off the charts smart
Okay, like and you like they were like fucking millionaires smart. He lived in this house up in north bergen
and he was a
Kung fu kid. Okay, like a fujiapai kung fu kid. I was a goju
Gushin Rukerati kid
Did you guys fight it out to see was the best bro every night to the death?
You understand me when you're 12 11
To the death we would knock it down me and there was an aikido kid on the block
Yeah, and a judo kid and we would just fuck each other
We all made commitments. We all went to honda sports. Okay, and we all promised each other
We had to buy the boxing gloves and we bought the headgear which in those days was huge
You look like a cat that never got fixed. You ever see when a cat male cat never gets fixed
And he lives for a long time
I haven't noticed that if you ever see a male cat that hasn't gotten fixed
And you know if you adopt a cat you fix them
But uh, if you don't fix them
They get so much testosterone that their head starts to grow
And the head gets so fucking big that it looks like fucking something crazy. No, is this for real. It's for real because my
The cats I have their dad
Was a pure killer who lived outside
And the people who lived in the building my wife said I he was not that he was a kitten. He was crazy
He showed up like eight guys
Eight brothers and sisters, but then they all got killed. He's the only one that
He had a knack for survival. I mean this guy was just badass
So, how do we get on fucking I was thinking about that the helmet with the kid
I was like, how was this cat part of the fight club? I didn't know what happened
So we just had big helmets and we bought the shin guards in those days, which are two pieces
Yeah, and you got to pull them up. They would like the shin guards now in the muay thai when you strap on yeah
And about nine o'clock at night
We don't make up some bullshit excuse that we were going to mac because he's just he was a smart kid
We're all going over to the do homework. Oh go ahead. Mary was very smart to help you with that geometry. Fuck you
We had our geese already over there. We had made the movement over there in the daytime
We put our fucking geese on and just start fucking blast until about 10 30 kicking each other
We'd do the iron palm technique
We had the fucking rocks in the backyard and we'd sprinkle the chin chin juice on your hands
And we do that. I am pumped. I mean, we were gone bro. We were gone. This is a you know, america was a different from
from 68
69 which for some people that listened to this podcast weren't even born
Uh, it was an over flooding of after the green hornet an over flooding
Of asian martial art movies came over here because bristly was in the green hornet. He was kato
He was kato right after that
Like the first martial arts film I remember is five fingers of death
That had to come out in 69 70 that one was about the iron palm technique
He would go like that and his palm would turn red and then he'd fuck you up a weird noise came up
That had to be 69 70. Okay, and then after that
Every movie theater like we were talking about the movies the other night
How in the 70s and 80s early 80s every move every town had a movie theater had a midnight movie
And it was either pink floored uh, pompeh or whatever, but at the same time they had
kung fu festivals
And you never seen teenage boys
Blues their mind there was seriously. Yeah, because it's you know, two dollars come here
1130
And you don't let get that loose till five and you've seen two karate movies
When you're 13 all that testosterone you come out and you start throwing punches
We go to the movie theaters and what you did was you went in your karate school
So I'd go with the fucking white dragons and Lee would come with his taekwondo school
And you would show up. There was no jiu-jitsu then
Jiu-jitsu wasn't even on the map like you had to drive for judo
Okay, you had to drive for judo the other thing around was pure karate pure kung fu
There was an aikido school in manhattan and one in new jersey, but that's it
You had a fucking drive for judo judo was in the village the judo club
And uh, there was a russian cuban dude who taught judo on 7th street
And that's where the the judo guy that we'd always beat up
Because the judo guy was great that we trained with but he could never put his arms around this
We'd punch him in the face 10 times by the time he put his arm around this
He was like a purple belt in judo, but we'd fuck up his world. In fact, I spoke to him yesterday
I spoke to the judo kid yesterday. Yesterday. He called me and I was swimming with my wife. His name is Martin Perez
Okay, his father. His father was batista's driver
And the vana cuba when we were kids
Uh, they shot his father. But just remind me batista is batista is the the guy before fidel that fit that over through
Oh, wow, okay. That fell over through when cuba was corrupt and whatnot. I'm surprised you guys didn't brawl in the movie theater
Dog they were fistfights all the fucking time. What and I still remember being a kid
Like being maybe eight
And going to a movie theater on 148th street one one saturday afternoon
Where there was a kung fu flick
And it was black people white people Puerto rican, syrish and italians. Let me tell you something
There was 20 fistfights doing that movie deal of this picture in gangs of new york. I want scorsese film
No, this is this was so nuts because during the week professor. I lived amongst nice white people
On 88th street
But on the weekends my santeria godmother lived on 148th street and that was in in these days
This is the wild wild last to harlem. This was the mouth of harlem, you know
Not really harlem the mouth to harlem is 125th street 118th, though
But this was out there still and there was a movie theater in the middle
And I remember that I fell in love with a movie called our latin thing
And I fucking went to the movies every day
Every day I went to see that movie because they played it every day
What was it about?
It was about a spanish all-star band that I still listened to the time that in fact I have the movie album in there
But I still remember going there on a saturday like the two o'clock movie would be like fucking a kung fu movie
Oh my god, there'd be people and you could see popcorn flying
For me when I was growing up like the ninja craze it just hit
You know like that it was the the mid 80s. Yes. Yes. Yes, and I remember like
Every year between the ages of maybe like nine and 12
I could have this slumber party for my birthday, right?
Like and my parents would just stay upstairs in the downstairs part of the house
It'd be like you and your friends can watch movies and you know hang out
And this new series of movies that just arrived in south africa on vhs called american ninja
Do you remember those with michael dudekoff?
Yes, and a similar kind of thing happened. We watched
A couple what we rented american ninja one and two and watched them back to back
And it was the same at the end of that it was these like 10 or 12 little little kids who had just lost their minds
I mean like everything was a ninja weapon and the dudes like hiding behind the curtains and guys like jumping over it
Was it was pretty cool? What a fun time. Yeah, it was a fun time in your life. I mean look at that
We had the luck of our movie theater was on 48th street
My mother had a bar on 29th street
And the movie theater was on 48th street
So we'd walked those 20 blocks and just rage, you know, we were young kids on the street eight nine years old
Just talking about what dreams we had a long way 20 blocks. That's not like a two minute walk
That was like nothing. Oh my god. I was like nothing in that day. We do that walk every day twice
Twice we do that walk from my mother's bar because I think there was a place father that had good Cuban food
The thick stuff like the rice and the beans the sandwiches was down the corner, but
Finished the story that on the way home from that kung fu theater
It would be late if they had it was called el cinema
And if you went to see like into the dragon or anything five fingers at death and a one-armed swordsman or whatever the fuck was playing
You leave there all testosterone down
And you'd be walking down the boulevard bergen line avenue and on 31st street. Maybe there was a huge fruit market
Huge i'm talking the size of this building and another one. Okay
And in front of it would be all the boxes of fruit
And we would start beating those things
We would start kicking those boxes. They would fall into the street. You see cars driving around the boxes
We'd have 60 feet of boxes to beat the fuck out of and they just fall over then the cars would come we'd run away like
Yeah, that's great. I actually remember that that feeling, you know, you when when you're when you're young before you have cars
and you and your buddies it's like summer vacation and you just you just walk here on you're so bored but like
You just walk around looking for something to do but it's it's you're still having a really good time
you know and the thing for me I went to Thailand about 10 years ago and
There was a bunch of these digital nomad dudes who I became friends with you know people just work from there from their computers
and
It was kind of that same feeling as when we were kids walking around like because we just walk around the streets of Bangkok
But the cool thing was we weren't like broke little kids anymore. We'd all like made you know
We were adults so we could afford to do the the real cool stuff
And so this just made me think of that. What was your introduction to martial art professor?
uh
judo man, my dad was like a karate guy a good karate guy and uh
There was no but there was no karate class where uh where I lived but the school was doing judo
so uh
My best friend it was a year old of them, but he was in the same grade. He said uh
I remember telling my mom that uh like
He was doing judo and then I was like I want to do that. I want to do that
So my mom said sure you can try it and I went like at the age of seven
And I did judo and I loved it man. Just loved it. Absolutely loved it. I was pretty good at it
And so that was it judo. Yeah. Now. How old were you seven?
Seven and how long did you stick with it?
Probably like four or five years and then I got like distracted and right right. That's what's saying doesn't happen to me
In those years. Did you feel the zen of it?
Did you experience the zen of the boy? Yeah, yeah, when you
were a taekwondo guy
Did you ever experience the zen of it at any point or was it something that you just put your suit on?
Got in the car with your dad and felt you were forced to do
You didn't see the zen of it. I liked forms. I don't know. That sounds really dorky, but that's what I
I was I was I was good for actually that was the biggest trophy. I ever won. I won first place
Uh and forms one year. That's the kathas, right? Yeah. Yeah, and I
I really enjoyed it. Did you practice them? Oh, yeah. Yeah. How many times a day?
Uh, I don't know if it was every day, but I remember when you were getting ready to the to uh test for the new belt
I would we would had we had a living room. We'd push all the furniture out of the way and do it for my mom 8 000 times and and just uh
Yeah, I still I still kind of remember one like you'd like a right block kick punch
It was just and then you just do it to all four corners and you can uh
Like I look you're supposed to get your moves really crisp and do it exactly right. I like that
I
I think I was so young because I don't think I was even 10 yet
I like I don't remember doing a lot of sparring
But we would do a little bit and I got I got all the way to red belt
And then I just I was a kid and I got bored and I quit once you turn 13 and you see pussy
Uh, a little bit of alcohol
14 and then because that was my conflict my conflict was my karate friends were by the book
They were a lot of fun. I I know when I look back now
I had a lot of fun with those guys on the weekends because we were karate geeks
which meant that
We were exposed to new york city on a saturday
So we would all lie to our mothers. You're going to the library. We're going to the library, right?
We're going to the library
Fuck that. We take a bus over to the city. We don't save our money
You deliver papers lee worked with his father at the shoe store
I worked with my mother at the bar and we go over on saturdays to a fucking
Martial arts supply place that was a couple floors. Yeah, you know what that's like when you're martial arts geek
You know and I still remember the town for before cops
Had yeah, yeah, that's how old I am like I still remember the kabudu town for
Was sold in black belt magazine at honda
And there was a wooden one or like the wooden one with the stick and the new chucks that were octagon
They were octagons like all that shit. I still remember my dick getting hard walking into that building
That's the feeling I that was the zen part of it. I
kind of felt the zen part of it
but
Pussy and
Drinking with my buddies was better. So I abandoned the martial arts at the age of 16
Fair enough. I just said this is too much. I didn't like
I was playing basketball then, you know, and I didn't uh, I had to take, you know
Once a week I could make it when I played basketball practices till 6 30
By the time I got home changed and took another bus
I didn't get the men's class from 8 to 10, you know, they had a men's class and shit
But it's so weird how to it
The zen of it always stayed with me. Yeah, I get it and then something really weird happened like
When I was starting comedy and I was going through all my divorce shit
I joined the tank sudo school subak do school and I stuck with that for about a year and
The only problem with that is you could buy your way through the system
You could be a black belt and fucking a year and a half if you want to
And then so you the gold belt after you get the black belt you could sell the for you
If as long as you know the forms you could test you could test every testing period
Which wasn't really good, but I could learn the forms and the three three basic techniques or whatever
and then
I forgot about martial arts. I became a comic
I came back here and that same style of subak do was on the corner
And and it was too late profess. I was 300 just out of shape
And I would go in there in the morning class and stuff
But it just wasn't working out and then we moved in the cocaine the whole thing
How do you think like what do you think was the biggest factor them that caused you to get so out of shape joey?
If it was if you could single down one thing
The out of control eating eating okay
The out of control eating the out of control eating was I could eat
You know nobody
When I was a kid I was very thin
And I was ashamed so I went on a tear
And I lifted weights and I did everything you could do to get bigger and I started gaining weight
And I stayed at a great weight till about
28
And then it was nothing serious. It was 220
227 nothing serious. I still had big broad shoulders. I still had big fucking hands, you know
Then it once I got to Seattle once I became a regular at the store. I was probably 255
And once I became a regular at the store. I just became unhinged
Yeah, it's because like as you get a little bit out of shape
Then you kind of or you almost like give up right like that's because then you're like exercise becomes harder
So you exercise less and then you get a bit more out of shape and then you eat more and then it's just like vicious circle
I just it's crazy about how at the age of 30. I was back in New York City. I'd gotten divorced. I was broke
And I was exercising like a fucking lunatic
I worked out of the gym for free because these two kids when we were kids their house burnt town
They lived over a bodega and my mom helped them out. So when they recognized me they said what is it?
Your cocoa. No, you don't pay. So I had a gym in jersey
Okay, and I'd signed up for a box in gym in New York because I buy a locker
And put clothes in there and my notebooks and shit
So I could run around New York City go to the boxing gym get a little workout in for 20 bucks
Pay a guy to try hit the mitts a little bit take a shower
Put on a new outfit write a few jokes and I'd fucking go to do so I always kept in shape
Colorado I had a bench in my living room. It's once I left Colorado in 95
And I became in love with comedy
I can't explain what happened, you know, but
If we compare
It was three eggs for breakfast
A half a loaf of
Wonder bread down. Yeah, that's probably did it right there. Just the one I could do eight slices of I
Today I take a half a piece of bread and I cut the yolk. I don't need any egg white. Fuck that shit
I don't eat the egg yolk and I put only the egg yolk on a piece of bread. No butter. No nothing
Before I would break the yolk and I wouldn't be done until all the yolk juice was broken
If it took 12 pieces of bread with butter on it took 12 pieces of bread with butter
And if it took 10 it took 10
And my wife would cook the whole pack of bacon
The Oscar Maya the whole pack of prime cut the middle cut every morning
Every morning before she leaves
So I'd wake up to bacon my wife's in the south jack
And my wife would have let's be honest two slices of bacon. Yeah, and I would eat the rest
Then I would smoke some pot a few cigarettes get my blood pressure really up and I go to mcdonald's
And get the morning breakfast
Well, this is after you had the breakfast at home after I had the breakfast at home an hour and a half later
It had to be before 11 o'clock damn
I'd go get the mcmuffin with the potato and a full-sized coke
And then two hours and I would go for chinese food, which is just no bueno
And yeah, I will sue
To fucking appetizer with the thing the spring roll. It's the grease is coming out of it
Yeah, the rice is six seven points
But whatever was in the food, you know the goat meat and beginning and whatever
Then I would go home and my wife would have something in the afternoon
I would eat like a something a piece of meatloaf and then for dinner I would just kill it
So this is like six meals a day basically and then and then I go up and if I was doing coke
I would drink alcohol with soda
But even if I wasn't doing coke, I would drink 16 sodas Jesus
Yeah, you just keep going back to the bar drinking your thirsty. I've never think of water
I never even thought of water as an option
Like it was I only drank water when I take a bottle of vitamin
Like you know, fuck you. I'm gonna drink fucking water
I never drank water since I was a killer in like water, you know something I noticed uh
Recently I put this together because I put on a bit of weight and I'm trying to cut down
Um, and I realize that all the people in my life who are thin they all have one thing in common
That's that they all eat really slowly
They don't really eat anything different, but they just eat really really slowly. Have you noticed that's the secret?
Yeah, that's the real secret to eat half push the dish away. Yeah, but it's difficult to do that talk for 10 minutes
Can you do that because I try I've been doing it lately
I've been I eat a little bit and I push the dish away and talk to my daughter
Okay, and we talk to talk talk at the table. We talk like a family
And then I'll pull the dish back in and eat the other half fair enough
I gotta get into that because I'm a fucking savage. I eat like if I'm in prison
I really do I eat like there's 20 dudes and there's six cheeseburgers
You know, so I that's what I eat like I'm very ashamed
Of that time period in my life
You know, it was so weird because
I still remember it being
Like February or January and I borrowed money from josh wolf
Because I had an audition for a pencil commercial mafia commercial. I was gonna be huge the sopranos were out
So everything they were doing at the time was mafia related in 2000
From 99 to 2003 I booked everything that was mafia related. I would go out on three mafia auditions a week
But I booked the pencil commercial and when and they said we're gonna we need you back here Thursday for a call back
I have a suit. I didn't have a suit
So I went to the Hollywood suit outlet
And they gave me three suits three shirts three fucking socks and three belts
Yeah, three belts for $200, but just don't smoke a cigarette next to that suit, you know
Because you will go up like a fucking you will light up like a fucking terrorist obama. You understand you just blow up into flames
So I bought the three suits. See they tailored them for you
And maybe two months later, maybe six weeks later
I had an audition and I had to put the suit on I went to put the suit on
You know, sometimes you put your pants on and you just tuck your belly in. Yeah, I'm gaining some weight
Guys I was three inches away
From getting them getting the trousers on I just bought this suit six weeks ago
And I'm three inches away, but at that point the sleep apnea had kicked into my life. Oh, yeah
at a
Dose
And you know, I found out that during sleep apnea your body releases cortisol
Which I was already starting to get the ball on my back
What does that mean when at night when you sleep and you're a fat fuck and you can't breathe at night your body goes into danger
And once that body goes into danger, what does your body release quarters? Oh, yeah
So when you sleep and it happens at night, that's why when you see obese people
They have lumps on their backs. Oh, that's the collection of the
Cortisol cortisol really, huh? Like when I finally decided to get help
It was when I could feel that I was 418
418 pounds. I was 418
Yeah, I did the longest yard and the longest yard tricked me psychologically
Because I said to myself this is gonna be great because now I'm gonna be the fat guy from now on
So what the fuck so let me just eat more
Yeah, yeah, let's just enjoy this. Yeah, you know my favorite thing at those days was going by in the
Not the 16 ounce coke, but the 32 ounce
And getting a pint of new york super fudge chunk
And I had a big glass my wife got me a glass from somewhere like a milkshake glass
And I would take the whole pint of
New york super fudge chunk empty it in a glass
And put soda on it and mix it up god until the whole soda and the thing was done. I was headed to death
Add the cigarettes add the cocaine
Add the fucking sleeping four nights or four hours a night. I was just going
I was just going and I remember that after the longest yard
While we were shoot
While we were shooting the longest yard in New Mexico was when they put me on oxygen therapy
And at that time when I shot the longest yard, I was probably about 380
And that's when I realized I had to do something in my life
So they had a trailer where you could work out and I would go in there on the set and just do fucking
But I would never get on the scale. I didn't even want to see the fucking scale. I got I didn't want to see the fucking scale
Like I didn't find that I was 418
Till I went to
Some fucking place and I got on their scale
It was like some doctor's office and I was like four fucking 16. I think I was that's the truth
And I mean that number 400 like once you cross that I mean, no, you're done. You're done. You're in murky waters of death
Yeah, it was something professor that I can't my wife was tying my shoelaces
She wasn't even married to me yet. Is this the same wife you have? No, yes
I have now sure she really loves you. She was tying my shoelaces after the longest yard
I said, fuck it. I'll play the flat fat guy. If they're gonna pay me I'll play the fat guy
And I kept doing it. But guess what? There was no more fat roles
So I thought it was acceptable, you know, I thought I really thought this is acceptable behavior for me to do this
And I went across the street to the ymca finally one day
I treated the ymca like it was a gay bar
Like I wouldn't even look at it. Like I knew I mean
Professor when I tell you it was across the street. I'm not telling you it was a wrong the call. It wasn't even a 60
Pace walk from my front door to the ymca. It was a three minute walk
It's basically a free jump and it's a free jump and I treated it like it was a place that gave out aids
I'm not going there. They're gonna give me aids in there. And then finally I go, let me just go in there
See what's up. I took up a brochure a pamphlet and said
Coming for a free health
Evaluation with a trainer
Okay, and I fucking signed up and I made it to the appointment
And the guy put me on the treadmill
And they fucking they put it up to point five
I think I had to get off after 30 something. So I got down and the guy goes listen
Go quit smoking
Go for walks and come back when you lose 30 pounds. He goes there's nothing I can do for you. Well
And then I went back there on my own after I would box in the mornings and then go back there on my own
and uh
Hit the bag and I would ride the stationary bicycle at that time
And that and I went to weight watches weight watches the best thing that ever happened to me because they taught me how to think yet
And especially now today the program is tremendous because it's all protein. It's all this
Fair enough. You know, they don't even want you to read even red meats a little
Seriously, like I had pot roast today and it cost me in the points then the points
I've never I'm not familiar with weight watches remind me how it works again right now at this time
Any piece of fish
Shellfish is free
You can eat as much as you want. You got six lobs of tails
Bring them on. Okay. No sauce, but just the meat itself just to meet itself. It's five points
For a tablespoon of butter
Five points five points. So you better play your cards, right? How many points do you get a day?
40
Okay, okay. Yeah, sure enough and so
If I eat eggs are free
There's many eggs as you want 65 eggs a day. Damn. Okay and chicken breast are free
Mm-hmm. You can't lose because protein like keeps you feeling full. Yeah, so you can't lose, you know
Vegetables are free juices free. That's what you and I were discussing on the way up here
A couple weeks ago. I weighed in that was a pound overweight. I got how did I gain a pound?
It was because I was going to the acai place
And she explained to me that eating fruit and blending fruit is two different stories because if you're saliva
Your enzymes in your mouth break it down and separate the sugars or something like that
So just learning that it was worth the fucking program. Now. I know that
Like they agree if you want to eat three bananas with your eggs
If you eat two six scrambled eggs
And three bananas, it's fucking free
Wow
Like you just ate breakfast for free if you could do that
If you put ketchup on your fucking eggs, it's gonna cost you a couple points, but
So there's ways to finagle the system
And you lose weight
Yeah, and you lose weight you learn how to eat the right way
You know how many people have like I was referred for that surgery and knock on what I didn't do it
Yeah, it doesn't do nothing because it doesn't change your reading habits
The best thing that ever happened to me was
Me walking into a brazilian jujitsu school
That's cool. How I came upon you
the best day of my like
I never had a good day when I was growing up like maybe I went to five star basketball camp
Maybe you know those accomplishments, but for 16 20 years I was stuck in a rut
So the best accomplishment I made was getting married another accomplishment was sticking with stand-up
The biggest accomplishment was getting off the drug of drugs
And then getting married and having my daughter the big accomplishments
But for me what changed my life completely was walking into a jujitsu studio. You know, that's cool
Yeah, it's it's a lot of people have had their lives turned around completely. There's a guy. Um, I forget his surname. I think
His first name is josh you can find him if you search for jujitsu saved my life and he lost
I think he lost him in like 50 or 60 pounds
In a year and he devoted himself to jujitsu. He was like a really unhappy out of shape
Had no drive no zest for life
And um, he started doing jujitsu and all those things were taken care of and I think it's because like, you know, you're hanging out with people and
Your your brain is engaged. Your body's engaged. It's just a very healthy thing to do it
What jujitsu did for me was
It showed me how weak I really was
It showed me that what I was thinking about being in shape. I was completely wrong
It showed me that I was eating wrong. It showed me I was living my life wrong
It was a real wake-up call and I still remember joining jujitsu
being involved with jujitsu, maybe three months
and getting on stage
And bombing I opened up for rogue in downtown like in the summer in july. It was like a summer gig
When which year was this?
No, what are we two seventeen we're two eighteen. No, yeah, two eighteen. So this is two thirteen
So this is I joined jujitsu
in uh, 13, okay
But I joined like in march or something after the baby was born
Just that july I did a show
And so jujitsu
When I walked out of that jujitsu school after I did a couple hip escapes
I never felt my head feel that way. I never felt my body
Like I said when I was walking out and getting into the car. I said I'm happy I did this because I know I'm never gonna do this again
But by the time I got in the car and made the right turn on burbank boulevard and was headed back to cumston
I realized that I had to come back
Because this can't exist in my life
These holes in my game. What if something really happens and I have my daughter
And I can't handle myself. This is what I need to do
And I went to that place for a few months and I didn't really I loved it
It was completely blind. I was basically going in there to breathe professor. That's it
If I could fucking breathe never mind an arm bar. Never mind a mount from fucking
Quasi modos knuckles
I'm just worrying about breathing and living if I could come back to my car and live
Like I would write like a will before I went to jujitsu on monday, you know
It fucked with me professor
It fucked with me that I started pressing in youtube
And then you came up and the first video you spoke about was breathing
And how get on your side or something don't stay on your back and blah blah blah
And I was like first off if anybody knows anything about me. I don't really like these fucking limey accents
But your accent was fucking
soothing
Your voice was very soothing. I could tell that you were a patient professor
I appreciate that I could tell that if I was in your class you would come over and go
No, put your leg so I started watching all your videos and it really really really really encouraged me
That's great. Like I knew that I had a shot now
They weren't keep telling me those little things. I so I realized I was at the wrong place
That made me automatically realize I was at the wrong place and I got a writing job which made me go to higgins
And once that writing job ended I couldn't justify going down to higgins
I like higgins stuff, but there was nobody in the class in the daytime
After time I go down there to talk, you know I'm saying so
Albertos I loved
You know, I was with Alberto for two years. Love him still friend of mine, whatever
But once I got this little gig and I started getting a little busy with my schedule change
And like I said before the class started I read one of Roy Dean's
He fought John Jack Machado to the death, didn't he?
No, he's
Not to the death
His coach Roy Harris fought Roy Harris. That's who's article. Okay. See you see Roy Harris's article
He's in San Diego. Yeah. Yeah. He's a good instructor. He's very good. I tried to get him on the podcast
I think he watched it heard the curse words and he's fucking yes. He's quite a religious cut. Yeah. He's a really that's what that's what I heard
Yeah, I think he uh, so the story with him is um, he
Again, I don't I can only repeat the story second hand, but it's my understanding that
he
Got one of the great one of the machatos at training
He was like a purple belt or something and he got one of them in this really tricky move called a banana split
Which is where you're basically twisting the guys back
and then they kicked him out because
They were pissed off about that because it wasn't like a true jiu-jitsu move apparently it was kind of like more of a
Almost like an illegal move and then he went and got his black belt somewhere else
and then there was kind of this grudge match between him and jan jaak
and
At that time jan jaak
He was winning a lot of stuff. I think he had 180cc and a whole bunch of other big tournaments
and Roy Roy Harris had just got his black belt and so these guys fought
And jan jaak won but only by two points and apparently Roy Harris had him in a couple of very compromising
Positions obviously jan jaak managed to escape and I thought that was a pretty cool story
That he could get to that level because jan jaak is uh
He's no joke man. That guy is
Jiu-jitsu is one of the only things that you ever hear that with like
Hey, I lost but I only lost by one point like and that's like a not that it's not an accomplishment but
He grew you think like oh only winning is something to be proud of be like no this guy's so good
I only lost by five points. That was amazing
Well, I mean it depends how amazing the guy you're fighting is if he's
I mean if you only lost by one point to a chump, you're still a chump, right?
But uh, if you only lose by a couple points to a guy like jan jaak, then then you can hold your head up, right?
Now, why did jiu-jitsu?
Hit me so hard like that
Why did it show me all my weaknesses?
And I'll tell you what else jiu-jitsu did it made me a better comedian. No way. I'd like to hear how that's true
because
well, it wasn't
jiu-jitsu as much as mma
The whole game of mma. I would see guys in between fights
And it's always the same shit
Yeah, uh, you know lisa. That's tough, but wait till he goes up against my right hand
So that's all you're talking about for the rest of your life is your right hand. You're not gonna work on an unbar
You're not gonna work on a leg kick. You're not gonna work on a fucking judo throw
So right there it opened up my horizons like look how these guys are thinking they depend too much on one thing
You can't depend too much on one thing. Yeah, there's that saying yourself out
You've heard the saying uh over specialization breeds weakness. Yes. Yeah, that's it. You know with comedy the other day
We had a great conversation here where
Dean dowry was saying for a year. He forced himself to go on stage and just improvise
You know, you got nothing but time you got nothing to lose improvise
Well, you can't because that teaches you a different muscle
Then for a year you force yourself to host
Even though you don't want to be a fucking host because hosting teaches you how to control the tempo
Of a comedy show how to control the tempo if this guy sucks you got to bring that audience back
Just because this guy sucks don't mean you can't let the show go now
You got to go up there and save that joke, but you already did that joke
So Jesus now you got to do a better joke
You got to go in between eight and nine people three or four people
So there's so many aspects to comedy
And the same way there's so many aspects to jiu-jitsu, you know the same way there's so many aspects to life to life
It's like everybody praises
Bruce Lee. I love him. I love it. I love what he did for me as I was growing up, but
If you really think about it
G kundou is what we all do at one point in our lives
You figure out what works for you
We do a complete set of fucking things you do them the same way every day
And you it equals to a certain type of success. I do the same shit every day at the same fucking time
You know that wasn't taught to me that was that's not who I am
I don't want to do the same shit every day at the same time
But for me to get to a level where I want to be at this is what needs to be done
I don't give a fuck if your asshole hurts. I don't give a fuck if you suck the thousand big
I don't give a fuck if your back hurts. I don't give a fuck if you don't feel good
this is what needs to be done on a daily basis and
you know
And when the time comes when you get the success whatever you're looking for
What needs to be done is going to change probably as well. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. No, listen getting there is one thing
Staying there is another
Staying at that level in your mind
You know, I've realized now for me to be a sharp comic on the weekends when I work
I got together on stage a lot more than what I'm getting on stage recently
A little older, you know, I'm starting to get into that fucking nap page
You need a nap from time to time and put you together, you know what I'm saying?
But if it means going to the fourth wall
During the week or going to flappers
You know just to get an easier spot because it's closer to my house
And I have to drive over the hill to sunset boulevard and put up with all that stuff
I do that, you know, I might as well do that tonight. I'm going I got local spots tonight
I'd rather do those. I keep myself active
Roy Roy Dean actually Roy Harrod the guy we were speaking about earlier
Roy Dean is one of his blackboards
So I actually was just at his house this weekend in uh in prom desert and he said something
To me or I didn't say it to me
It was in one of his books called beyond the blackboard and it always stuck with me because it changed my life actually
because you know, I was always the guy who I thought that
You know anything you wanted to be good at let's say it was jiu-jitsu or business or relationships or whatever it was
That you could go read the book
Do the work do the practice and you could earn that ability and then you've got and you can check the box
Okay, I'm a jiu-jitsu guy. I'm a comedy guy. I'm a great lover. Whatever it is, right?
But it doesn't work like that. I realized that
What what Roy Dean said is as a man, you're always paying your dues always that never stops never stop
It never done that that it was it was difficult for me to accept that because I thought it was
I thought there was a finish line, right?
Like one day I'll have my shit figured out and I can chill out, but it doesn't work like that. Yeah
Wow scary, you know a lot of people
A lot of young kids listen to this show young men
And I love that they listen to this show because I want them to know
What they're getting what nobody tells you, you know the shit you got to figure out wrong the way
This is what this show is for these guys
I could look you in the fucking eye and tell you two things number one
If you felt both of you start that the age of 21, I'd be working as hard as I'm working now
You're fucking out of your mind and number two
I didn't even think I'd be fucking alive right now. Never mind working. I'm working harder today guys
Than what I did at 25. No, I put more hours in a week now
Than what I do at 25 and don't tell me about going on the road. That's a complete different set of fucking hours
I never thought I'd work this hard like I never thought this is mentally, you know, because there's a lot of mental involved
You do a lot of writing
It's a lot of mental involved a lot of notebooks a lot of pages
The writing alone is two hours a day and you really some days don't get nothing out of those two hours
You really don't you're just making joint, you know, unless you're writing like a book that's ready to go
sometimes I'm trying to write a book
and fucking write a comedy routine at the same time because
Wow, I'm writing the book at least I'm not doing dead air
It's not dead air. I'm not wasting my time and sometimes I'll go back to that joke and go
Maybe I'll attack it from this way
And that's what also jiu-jitsu has done. It's opened up my thinking avenues
It opens up your thinking patterns
and now you write different types of jokes, you know, because
In jiu-jitsu, you can't go full speed all the way
For me at my age, I got a roll and a rest for a minute roll rest for a minute
And I try to do the same thing on stage and I I learned that from jiu-jitsu
And you find like when you take that rest it kind of on stage it kind of builds
Tension in the audience and that makes the joke break better. Yes. Absolutely. All those things have
jiu-jitsu has opened up my eyes
that
It's made me a way better comedian. It's fucking crazy. It's crazy. You said to me earlier. Why do you think jiu-jitsu caught you?
So so hard like and I mean I have an answer might not be the right one, but I have one
You know, I sitting with my friend Jake who runs budo videos calm
Which is a big martial arts. He's you know him budo Jake. I'm sure you've seen him before. Yeah
He interviews a lot of jiu-jitsu guys
Very cool dude and and uh, his new thing is acro yoga
You know the acro yoga what you do with a partner?
So basically you line your back and then your partner will do like a handstand off your hands or something like that
So one guy's supporting and then the other person is being like held up and they're balancing
And he was teaching me some of this stuff and we were out in the park doing it and I said to him man, this is
This is as far from
A bad lifestyle day as possible
Like we're on the other end of the spectrum like the crappiest thing we could be doing today is
Sitting under some fluorescent lights
Hunched over a computer
Eating some bad food, you know, like doing something we don't enjoy and we're on the other side of that spectrum
And I think jiu-jitsu is also there like when you go to a gym
Okay, you're doing physical activity, right? It's using your body. It's using your mind
But you're also connecting with people you're talking to people like you're you it's camaraderie, right?
It's fellowship something that a lot of people don't get and it's
I think these are things that people crave man people crave
Human contact they crave stimulation intellectual stimulation physical stimulation
And maybe you just got those things in a way that you weren't getting before. I don't know I guess
I know for a fact that
When I look at my daily schedule
If I see a lot of holes in that schedule
I will definitely go to jiu-jitsu or make me go to jiu-jitsu. No, even though I was gonna go anyway
It would make me go more so I get human contact
So I feel
Like a regular person
You know I'm saying yeah, because I mean I don't know about you, but I spent a lot of time
Working from home alone right or working from a coffee shop and after like a few hours
Yeah, you start feeling you get like cabin fever and you start feeling strange like a
Like the walking dead basically and then when you connect then you go to jiu-jitsu class in the evening
You connect you see like 10 or 20 or 30 people
And you work and you sweat and like your body's moving when when you leave that class
I feel human again. You know, does that make sense? I usually my old schedule was
Leave the house and they go to the coffee shop eat breakfast make a few calls, right?
And then at 10 10 15 go home first off for your back. You can't sit there. Oh, yeah, it's so bad
So I give myself two hours now. That's all that's all your back's got to say. That's all you got to say
So 8 30 to 10 30
I get up. I go home. I do some other work on my computer
Maybe help my wife with shit. She answers
And then I start putting my gear, you know, and I go over there
And it's like I said 12 to 115. You know, that's a couple jumping jacks. Boom. Boom. Boom. You get the fuck out of there
You go home. You take a shower. You write down the first thing I do is log in my calendar that I trained
What I learned
That's cool. And how many times I rolled and how I did and what I got out of the class
You know what today? I got fucking tapped 18 times, but I'll tell you what did happen
I fucking retained my guard from professor one time
So I don't focus on the negative
I focus on that one positive I did because I'm gonna get choked out every day if I go
But every day I do something else. I crawl underneath
I bump a guy off that's in the mount over me. I do something
So I take that one thing and I use it as a positive. That's cool. And
Instead of killing myself and going to class and judging myself against what everybody else is doing
I got a plan. I'm learning the technique. I'm rolling five three times and I'm going home. No matter how I feel
I'm I will do the commitment of three times so I could walk again tomorrow
And come back on fucking Thursday. Yeah, he it's like
I think the gym is the same or any any like thing that challenges you
Often man, often there times I've got a
Jiu-Jitsu class that evening or in the morning or there's a workout on
At lunchtime, whatever and I don't want to do it man. I don't fucking want to do it
But there's one thing that always happens when I do it and that is afterwards. I'm glad I did it
Every single time no matter how much I didn't want to do it
Guaranteed I come out of that workout. I'm like, yeah, I feel better. I did the same thing Saturday
Yeah, I went to a move. I was in Columbus Thursday. I flew in it was the red eye
I slept all day. I had worked out three days in a row anyway. I needed a recovery day anyway
So I used Thursday Friday. I went to crew hopes gym short north movie tie
And Saturday I usually since I'm gonna leave early I took a nap
But I woke up at like two feeling kind of shitty
I went I got up for breakfast eight breakfast went out smoked a joint
Walked around for a half hour just to burn off the breakfast and I went upstairs and fell asleep to about 130
I had a piece of fish and I went back to the room and I was like, all right
And finally if they were gonna pick me up at 6 45 and five I said fuck this
I'm going to the gym
And I ran downstairs at the 20 on the eucalyptus whatever the elliptical
I had 25 minutes to lift and I did every body part
I did sit-ups with the eight to 12 pound ball. This is gym in your house and no tell
No, it's okay. I'm training my one thing. Listen, like I said, we all have our own personal jicundo
Joe Rogan's a winner
And you know why because since I've known him he works on on the road before the shows
interesting
Ever since I've known Joe, I remember him making me go to the gym one time like Joey
You have to go to the gym look at the size of you
And he would be fucking jumping up and down and I'd be with a dumbbell in the corner
But he goes at least you can't he didn't sit in your room and you got to think and I never really thought about
And then when I would go on the road by myself like I'd walk past the gym and give it the finger
Fuck you
Fuck you. Yeah, and now the gym is imperative on the road both days. Yeah, you know the
there's uh, it's like a
a common element amongst all
People who are actualized and are are really making their way and making their mark in the world and that is
That they exercise
Some kind of might be jiu-jitsu might be yoga
It might be I don't know shooting hoops a couple of times a week
But like your body's made to move it's made to exercise and if you if you violate that you're going to pay the price in somewhere
Another whether it's your mind's going to get stale or you're going to get sick or you're going to get fat
It's going to happen. I got really sick. I think that the sleep app here
The fat growing up on me and maybe the fat crawled up on me and 20 pound increments
You know one minute. I'd be 360 and I'd be 380
One minute. I'm 380 the next minute. I'm 400
I'll never forget when I found that I was 416 what I felt like that day when I got home. Yeah
and then like a week later I did a commercial
had uh
We're Pacquiao trains
Okay, Freddy wrote pretty much. We did a commercial at night
And the guy that let us in was one of Freddy's trainers and we got to talk and he goes, you know, I saw you no longer shot
And when I'm watching you I can tell you can't fucking breathe
He goes, don't you want to take care of it and what you want to live and I was like, what the fuck? He was Boston
And he goes come to the gym every day and give me 20 hours not training you for an hour
And I would have to wear two pair underwear because I would pee my pants when he was training me. I couldn't breathe
I can imagine. Don't breathe. Yeah, and then at the 370 mark. I finally gave in and went away watches
And what do you what do you ain't all joy?
283. Yeah, I mean not many people lose 140 pounds. I gotta do another
I gotta go down to 265 so I could fight steep in male chick just in case he falls out against standard court man
I'm gonna go down to 265 is my goal. There's no reason why I should wait 200 more than 65
At 265, I'll see where I am, but I will tell you this
When I started going over and training with Brett
The second day he said something to me that struck a chord
I said something he goes, you know, what's crazy. I could feel weight on me
Now that I've been doing jujitsu for 20 years
You feel weight on you by the by the way you wrote like what do you mean?
He goes, I could tell when I go home and eat with my family
I could feel the 10 pounds when I roll. It's a big difference. Yeah 100 days on
These 20 whatever pounds I lost
Big difference. Yeah, I wrote and it's only gonna get better. You the next 20 is gonna be better. Oh my god
Now I could roll like I said
three five minute
Legit rounds. That's cool. I can't bear him bow low
I don't want you to throw me. I don't want to throw you professor. I'm gonna throw you full
Oh, what's the use? He's a poor god or I'll fucking poor god. Make up your fucking mind and do something. Don't just fucking lay there
Let me give you some shout outs real quick here
Let's see what the fuck is cracking like us
My girl Lisa Tizio of my friend the 50 fucking years happy birthday
Billy Farley, Kyle Wallace
Joe Caesaree uncle Donnie
My fucking main man down in Miami Lorenzo Toledo
Megan O'Brien
Mike AX 227
John R star
And unique net, you know, I love you cocksuckers. Don't forget
Next weekend. We're at the Tempe motherfucking improv Thursday Friday and Saturday
Then I'm in Providence, Rhode Island on the 17th, which is sold out. So don't even bother
And then we're at the fucking stress factory the 18th and 19th in new new new jersey and shit
But besides that so you just launched something that
Is fucking revolutionary
I got a good chance to look at it on the plane because I downloaded it to my
Laptop like the little fucking. What's it? What did my wife buy me an iPad the unipad because I don't know what the fuck
I'm doing so my wife got me an iPad
I went on your uh
The master master academy fucking tremendous. I'm so happy. I'll tell you what was really interesting about it
The the critique the rolling analysis the rolling analysis a lot of work
How long did you come up with this concept for? I mean, that's why I called you
the guy was there if that
There's a lot of well-known names in jujitsu, but in my book
You are the true kung fu
Of jujitsu. Thanks for the world
You got a great smile a great voice. You're very soothing
You really spread the love side of jujitsu. Thanks so much for that people don't understand
I mean any any the thing the other thing I downloaded the other the book you sent me
And that was beyond the block that was great. That was great. The one that you give me a shout out for uh, there's a thousand scams on the internet
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got
Which they really are really because you talked about friends of yours that you hadn't met and stuff like that
But tell me more about this master online academy like tell people
Break it down like what are the true advantages? I mean, I saw it with the
The analysis that's what I really like, you know, I always love your technique
You always offer a new exercise. I mean, you're like a fucking you just spread
I appreciate you
Man, you know, like look, I've never
I've taught it a few jujitsu academies, but I've never owned my own academy
And that's generally the path like for someone who makes jujitsu their career is
They either become an MMA fighter or they own a gym or they do both, right? That's the the path
But for me, I'm the kind of person I don't want to do anything like half measures
I've always been if I'm going to do something I want to give it my full focus and attention
And when I arrived here in the United States, I was considering opening a gym, but something was holding me back because uh
You know, I travel a lot. I go to teach seminars in different parts of the world and
If you travel a lot, you can't focus on an academy because you can't you're not there all the time
and I just had the feeling I would
I wouldn't be able to give that academy as much attention as as I as I should
You know, and I'd have these students who I'd see
For a week and then I'd be away for two weeks and then I come back and see them again
And I'd never be able to give like full commitment. So what I thought is like
You know, the best way around this is to have an online academy because then I can put my full focus and
It's open all the time and I can do it from the road and I can film and
Uh add stuff to it all the time and yeah, that's what I've done
And I just I've tried to pour everything of my understanding of jujitsu and the way I approach my jujitsu training and the way I teach
Into that and I guess that's the best way I can describe it. What you're just phenomenal. I think I watch you
You know, you tape some seminars and I watch little things that you do
And it's weird because I've watched other videos and there's a lot of information on the internet about jujitsu
You can become a fucking black belt now online
With a little dummy next to you do little moves and shit like what real little dummies what I'm saying, but
You teach the little things
For some reason when I first started the first year I would look at your little whenever I would learn a moving class
I would look to see if you taught it
And I would learn to see the techniques that they left out, you know, it's
In jujitsu in the first two or two academies I went to it was like an Italian mother giving you a recipe
They always leave something out for you to figure out on your own, you know saying like and then once you figured out you're like, ah
That's what jujitsu is jujitsu
Is an art like stand-up comedy
Because not everybody's gonna do an on-bar the same way
Lee does the style of jokes and I do a style of jokes
It's our world your jujitsu. Like I said to you. I have a plan now
It's either a collar choke
A scissor sweet one on bar and once that plan gets aboard it starts all over again
And that plan also throws you off because I'm always attacking off my back. I'm always attacking. I'm always attacking
It's tough for you to pass if I'm constantly attacking. I'm breathing. I'm focused. I got my neck up off the skin
I'm saying like I'm doing all these things
If I thank jujitsu just for the breathing aspect of what's happened
I got so serious about I got the boss rooting mouthpiece
No, shit, and I got the boss rooting mouthpiece and I did and I said fuck this this works
So I said let me take this let me do let me he did it something different
I went on youtube and saw a black dude throwing sidekicks for jesus with the mouthpiece
I said fuck this. I'm gonna take the mouthpiece and start going for walks. Oh my god
Like the first half hour you feel like you're gonna pass out. Yeah first
first two minutes
You're like i'm gonna go down any minutes like somebody's choking you little by little
But I kept saying to myself breathe it out joey breathe it out breathe it out
And I started doing that and that alone
I mean when you do that shit for a half hour you just bring the mouthpiece almost like you do the thousand set up
Shit, I mean I really put work into my jujitsu game
But it's not my jujitsu game. I put work into my game
Like my own life game 100 it hasn't been for jujitsu. That's why I'm saying I benefited so much
From walking into that academy. Yeah, but you know like uh one of the things I'm I'm very fond of
discussing with people is
Okay, jujitsu look
It's it's grappling, right? It's it's trying to strangle the other guy, right? But you know how
They're these better ways
Of strangling people and there's better ways of doing armbars and there's better ways of doing sweeps
And that's what jujitsu is. It's trying to find those best most efficient ways
And I think that life is so much like that man you in everything in life
There are better the the average ways and there's better ways of doing it whatever whether it's talking to someone or
Doing a business deal or eating a meal whatever it is
There's better ways to do things and I'm always looking for those better ways not just in jujitsu
But in everything and everything and I think that's like a that's a healthy mindset to have right like life is jujitsu
You know you you're trying to jujitsu life, right? You're trying to do it as best you can
But at least that's my theory, right? It's like I said before we all have a g kundala works for you
G kundal my g kundal a little bit has been taken from you
A little bit has been taken from rogan. I learned a lot from Ralphie may as a comic
And then I learned from richard prized mistakes, you know, I've learned from
kenosins mistakes
I'd learned from dice's mistakes just being a spectator to them
You know how i'm supposed to act in comedy and stuff like that
And you put it all together and it comes up with a recipe and that's where you are
You know as I could admit this to anybody. I'm just
10 people rolled up into one
People that I got to meet that I thought they did something that was successful
And I was going to state take that element from their lives
And that's what I do, you know, I look at podcasts who are the best podcasters
I see what they're doing and I do exactly what they're doing only with my flavor. That's the g kundal
You know, I'm still doing this podcast. I want to do it
What was what was bruce lee saying I think absorb what is useful reject what is useless. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah
Why are you looking at what number 30 is doing? Look at what number one is doing. Yeah, and don't steal his move
Steal what he's thinking
Steal the concept of what he's thinking to make him that good. It's not that he practices better than you
It's not that he's stronger than you that's that he's younger than you he did something to get there
Watch what he's doing and that'll get you that add your flavor what you bring to the table
And together you'll get there to whatever point you think successes whatever your successes, you know and always give credit as well
Always always man. I've emulated from dr. J
You know my style of comedy is dr. J. I'm taking it to the fucking hoop jack
I ain't got time to dig around and tell you a fucking fickle story. Let's go cocksucker, you know
So dr. J's, you know let it skin it you're like joey. What the fuck does let it skin it teaches
Let it skin it teaches me to go out there
and overpower the audience with my
Whatever i'm thinking
I don't give a fuck what you're thinking dog. This is what i'm thinking for you to win an audience over that's your attitude
once you
Like the other night we were doing an open mic lee and I and some great little arab kid went up on stage and he asked
if this word was offensive
I thought that was the biggest mistake a comic could ever do. Are you allowed to say which word that was?
Uh, what was it? Joe may say it? Yeah, he said it is the gay man's anus
Offensive and he didn't even say I think it was just I think that was a joke. It was a joke. It was a joke, but he still asked
You never ask
You never asked the mission to do your art. Yeah, it's your art. Yeah
That's uh, funny enough. It's it reminds me of another saying. Uh, I think it's from that book by tim ferris
The guy wrote the four hour work week
and he said, uh
I hope I get this right. He said
you ask
Permission later act first and ask permission afterwards. Yeah. Yeah, which I think is cool a lot of people
We're trained as like in western society like in school
You're trained to like follow the rules and not like deviate from the path, right?
But the people who make it the furthest and live the most exciting lives
They don't necessarily break the rules, but they definitely bend them. You bend them. Yeah, you have to bend them a little bit
Yeah, I didn't like when I came, you know, that was a young man. I didn't I bought it. I bought it for a while
I bought the white fence
With the house and marrying your high school sweetheart and doing all that shit
And you see the american dream is an american grave
The american dream is truly the american grave if the american dream is buying a house
And working 50 hours a week till you die till you get a gold watch when you're 65. Hopefully
That's a dead dream. Yeah
I think the american dream is coming here and giving yourself no limitations
You know, I told Lidia day or somebody who was on the show when I became a car salesman
It was the best thing I ever did because
It taught me that you don't need to have a ceiling on your income. You know what go for it, bitch
Go for it
Some months you make 2000 some months you make 800, but then some months you're gonna make 10,000
You're not gonna know until you try
You could keep sitting this fucking job or you go for it and life generally
There's a there's a saying I love which is
um
Nature loves courage
Right
Yeah, it does nature loves courage like and that
You know, you know, I've seen that the people who everyone's story is the same
Everyone who makes it their story is the same there was a point
Where there was no one helping them and it came the situation was dire and it came down to them
They had to take courageous action. No one could do it for them and you can't fake it
You know, they had to fucking make that leap whether it's move somewhere or take some job
They were a terrified of or they had to do that on their own and uh, I find that fascinating
Yeah, you know, it's so weird how people think you could just pay john jackmichato 400 an hour
I'll do that 10 weeks now become a jiu-jitsu master
They don't see the true essence how it is that going it's going to a class going to a couple classes a week
I think the new society expects gratification too quickly
You know, I didn't even see any form of comedy success really for seven years. You know what it is to do something
For seven or eight years and see nothing known that you're just a fucking ham and anger
It wasn't till mitzvah rest in soul made me irregular that I'm going well, maybe there is something to this
It's like becoming a purple belt and jiu-jitsu when you
Don't aren't really a purple belt, you know, and then you become a purple belt
Yeah, like when I got into the comedy store, I wasn't a good comedian
But it forced me to become a good comedian quickly because if not, I was going to go away and not get another shot
So I had to go back to basics one of the basics
Close guard. Yeah arm bar says asleep. It's interesting
Audio book yesterday and this guy was telling the story of this this guy
Who ran his business?
I had had a business and it wasn't doing well
And he hated it and he said every day you'd get to his offices
And he'd say to himself
I just have to open the door. I just have to put the key in the door and open it. That's all I have to do today
and
Eventually like the business turned around and he became a successful guy
But he says he sometimes
Reminisces on that and realizes how how many times he came so close
To just not opening that door and just saying i'm done and then he's just so happy he pushed through
And fuck man. Everyone who makes it has days like that. Everyone every single person who's made it. I'm sure has
many days where they're like
I just I don't want to do this anymore. I want to give up, right? It's not worth it or it's not working
And it's having that like courage to push through I think which is really important. I mean I went to my knee doctor
When I was in jujitsu like a year and I was really struggling. I didn't know what was going on
I would just go to jujitsu to die basically
I went to the knee doctor and he goes listen quit that shit
He goes for some reason i've been getting people coming in here with broken fucking ankles and shit from that jujitsu
Shit the last fucking two years really to create. Why do fucking people do that type of shit?
Quit that shit. I remember driving home going. He's right
Who the fuck am I to think?
But I could do that type of stuff. I'm fucking quitting. I'm like, I remember driving home going. Fuck him
I'm not fucking quit. You doing some seminars this week. I'm indeed um at your guy tomorrow
As of conscience over on Lancashire and north hollywood great place 7 30 start indeed. So what's the name of it called?
You're you're this seminar to efficiency. Uh beyond technique beyond technique seminar tour. Okay, and then where are you sat there?
You're somewhere phoenix and black flag jujitsu. Okay, and that's your new home
Tucson is my new home Tucson. Yeah, that's where my kid nappy is. Yeah
That's where the kid nappy is he's coming
He's coming to the show on tempi. He's coming friday night, which is gonna be interesting
If ken vela shows up to tempi on friday night people and you're there
I'm gonna put him on stage and tom to say his side of the story
From his perspective of getting kidnapped and the whole fucking deal. It's kind of crazy
But it happened and I can't change around
My wife and I are gonna come to your show on saturday and tempi as well. I will leave you tickets at the door
Professor, I'm happy to see you me as well. Thank you for doing what you do. Thank you the public
You know, I don't know what it costs for the marking what you do or whatever it is a month
Whatever it is, it's more than worth it. Why because this guy loves jujitsu
Like I said, he is the true kung fu of jujitsu and uh, I love you to death. Thank you so much for doing your videos
Thanks for having me. Thank you for all the content. Thank you for the emails. I mean you really stay on it and uh
Sometimes you you're like, I don't want to go to jujitsu today
And also you look at your emails and there's an email from you
Talking about a friend of yours. Plus you have a great podcast, you know, this week you have the guy on
Oh, he's great. He's fucking great. John Heinz. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't listened to it yet
But I heard his name before you have a great podcast
I mean you dedicate your life to this and I was thinking about you and I want you to tell
people the truth
When you commit
To what you love does the universe not take care of you? Oh dude
When you go to Thailand you told me a story once about Thailand or something. I'm like
Tell these motherfuckers of the universe doesn't take care of you. It's that guy who hosted um
The guy who hosted that the miss world and he kind of got it wrong. I forget his name Steve Harvey
Steve Harvey like uh, he he's got an interesting clip on youtube and he said it's like
You've got this parachute on your back, right?
Which is the universe of support
But the only way you're gonna know if that parachute works is if you jump out the plane
It's if you take that courageous step
That's the only way to tell and you have to do that. There's no one else who can do it for you
So I would say yes the universe does stuff up to support you
If somebody wants to join up for the master online, what do they do?
Oh, just head on over to jujitsumasteracademy.com
And everything is there plain and simple. Yeah, if they use um
coupon code podcast they can get 10% off. I'm gonna wear my jujitsu
Brotherhood. Oh, yeah. Yeah in the rash. Well when we said that to you
It was a white belt one and then you got your blue by the time it arrived you had your blue belt
So you gotta send you another one. I don't care. I'm just happy that I still represent it. That's cool. I'm happy you made time for us
I'm looking forward to the uh seven autumn on night 7 30 over here in no ho at uh subconscious bjj
Give them a call right now. I'm sure they're there and make reservations
It's a big place but it's a small place, you know, you know
So make your reservations and get your shit together. Thank you again professor. Thanks so much again
Jewish lightning, you know, I love you cocksuck everything all right in your world. Everything's beautiful
Let's get over this fucking faggy bronchi that she got and this shit again
If you're looking for a great gi fuji sports.com
I love fuji. If you're a big guy, they got you covered
You know, I went from an a6 to an a5 now
I gotta go to an a4 and then hopefully an a3
But they're tough why because I was always on top and I'd be pulled on yanked on
Fucking tried to arm drag and guess what bitches they couldn't never rip the gi
That's why I believe in the superado gi
So go to fuji sports.com right now and press in church
And get 10 off delivered to your house, but she's important the podcast
Also
To my favorite supplement company out there who takes care of me always on it.com
If it's not the shroom tech sport, it's the shroom tech immune. I fly a lot
The immune you don't see me fucking coughing and the shroom tech sport. I take a half a fucking little capsule
Excuse me, and I'm jumping up and down like a mexican fucking bean
So go to on it.com right now and press in church
Another one get 10 off delivered right to your house. I want to thank
Professor nick gogriatis
And my main christ killer lisa. Yeah, and I want to thank you guys for listening
I'll see you motherfuckers nice and early monday morning. Don't forget bitches tip tempi, arizona
Sink us demias the cuban in mexicanville throwing it down. I love you cocksucker stay black
Have a great weekend, and I'll see you guys next week. Love you motherfuckers
You
From the back streets, there's a room there
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World types till the end
Better now, you know we'll never
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World types till the end
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World types till the end
Better now, you know we'll never
Wait till tomorrow
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World types till the end
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