Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #583 - Steve Simeone

Episode Date: May 9, 2018

Steve Simeone, a comedian and writer, seen on Comedy Central's "Stand Up Revolution" and heard as the host of the "Good Times With: Steve Simeone" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.     Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    Recorded on 05/08/2018.

Greetings from podcastville the church of what's happening now is brought to you by fuji sports calm Let me tell you something my favorite geese. That's all I wear is fucking food. You had a nice beautiful Blue element on myself today. You understand me. They got a great new super rado and they got a great new competition Geek go take a look fuji sports calm If you're fat fuck a five a six, let me tell you something, bro People always try to pull you down from the guard from behind the whole they could tug on that thing for hours Nothing happens to that fuji fucking geek dependable been around since jesus left chicago Plus they got fucking mats

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Church get 10% off delivered right to your motherfucking house. You don't have to go nowhere Kick that motherfucking mule Wednesday may night Kick that mule Lee. I want my speakers on fire Lee I Put my faith in the people There you go Every day cocksuckers it's the church and what's happening now, baby

What's happening? It's a beautiful day to be alive. I got the flying jew aka christ killer number one And I got my main man steve de somone. It's fucking confessional wednesday I'm gonna talk about it. I don't think steve wants to sit next to me anymore. The name christ killer You're adorable. Yeah, he lets it go. All right. Thank you. He doesn't help. I love him. I don't like that It's crazy. I was telling Lee last night that I went to tempi this weekend. Okay, and it's because you like listen, uh as a comic We're hoars. You're a fucking hoar. There comes a time around the fourth year that you just want to do everything That's what it needs to do

To make it happen But then you have to tighten up your seat belt at some point in your career and stop being a whore And that's when things start happening. Yes, and for me it started by taking advice from others You know, I would listen to a joe rogan had to say to me if arry had a plug and a joke You know, I trust arry. You know i'm saying if I had a problem with something Uh a gig or something you have to let your ego down Yes, a lot of times and I've known you since the beginning. I mean when you're opening up for dice 99 I think you were the first person to put me on stage at the comedy store open mic in 2000

Yeah, that'll be september 2000 october 2000. It's crazy how This has been a journey for the both of us and when I see you, you know, you're from philly Yeah, you're catholic. Yes, you've never seen the exit system. You take will not seriously You run charities. I mean, there's so many good things you do. So when I'm around you makes me feel better like that You're one of the guys I went to martial arts with when I was Up to 16 years old you decent kids didn't really curse They did not drink. They did not smoke pot. I found them entertaining and I enjoyed them Yeah, but they didn't want to go get pussy like they wanted to hang out. We were geeks

You know karate geeks. Yeah, and at that point you want to go you want to finger speak? You want to listen to blacks have a drop ass I had two sets of friends for a while. I was trying to make two sides of the fence And the karate guys didn't know about my crazy friends and my crazy friends didn't know about my karate friends And then I had to make a decision one day Yeah, and I went with the crazy people because the karate guys and I loved them daily Right, they weren't as much fun. They weren't as much fun They wanted to save their money and go to honduck in new york and look at that fucking geese and help all equipment

And rubber pads for your head so you could beat each other up But it's so weird how whenever I see you like I could talk to you and I know you give me a straight answer, you know, everybody in this town will smoke up your ass And that's what happens to people Lee and I were talking about a comic we saw that that's just damaged From what this town did to him. It's easy to happen. That's gonna happen very easily because you know, it's so weird Remember when you used to open up for paulie from yeah Did you ever have a night when people come up to you and say, you know what we're so happy you were here

You were so much funnier than paulie Yeah, but then you see them go over to paulie and go paulie. You're so great. We love when you're like look at fucking people Yes, there's so fucking wormy. You know what I'm saying? I think that's part that was part of mitzi's logic to make us work the door So we could get an appreciation for what that audience was You get to see people who they really are and she would like so you would have that planted in the back of your head like Are you gonna change who you are to please these people because that was one thing remember once I did a joke in front of her And she just goes you're better than that That's all she said and I was like, well, she goes

I don't want to see it again. You're better than that I remember It's weird when you do a fucked up joke and it kills the room and you feel it and you Feel like an asshole, but this week I went to tempi and this has been I don't know I mean, we've been doing the podcast how long now five years six years So maybe the second the year and a half we had the guy kidnapped to call in I love it when you call me your kidnapping the kidnapping I had him call in and I apologize to him and I sincerely meant that from my heart

Yeah, I'm saying I really meant that from my heart. It's crazy as it sounds guys There's a couple calls I got to make this sadly matter had like a nervous breakdown in my hotel room about a different situation in my life I have to take care of Okay, you know, I have like three of those loose strings that I really have to take care of forget my daughter That's never gonna happen But I got to open up the line of communication with my sister again The phone call with my sister is a tough phone phone call She feels cheated

You know I'm saying yeah, she lost her mother her mother left her there. So she has a void in her heart There's a bunch of issues when I talk to her and it takes me three days to get over Yeah, like when I hang up the phone, I gotta have two martinis. I don't even drink fucking martinis. You know what I'm saying? So, uh This family I grew up with in jersey. I gotta call them soon It's starting to eat away at me. You know, I'm an old school cat like I feel guilty whatever Yeah, and I want to make amends, you know, that's every mercy that came into my life So I've kept in touch with this kid and the kid nappy And I keep talking to him, you know, and I call him and I ask him how his mother's doing because that's why he moved to

Tucson and yeah, and we talk, you know once a month whatever So this time we talked up to the point where he was coming to the show Wow, you know, and then Thursday, he was coming and I didn't hear from him Friday. He called me I was a kickboxing. I called him back And he goes my mother's been in the hospital Oh, Jesus Uh, so I don't know if I can make it tonight, but I'll definitely see you for dinner tomorrow night And I never heard from him all night. Okay, and I didn't remember till in between the two shows

Yeah, and I gotta tell you something. I went back to my hotel room. I was kind of depressed Like I was really sad about it. And I said, I go wait a second Why would he want to come see me? Yeah I fucking kidnapped him and put him in a trunk on a car for eight hours that guy He probably had to go to therapy for eight years because of what I did to him Why would he want to see me? You know what I'm saying? Like what what the fuck do I think I am That this guy's gonna pop up here and be my friend like he even said let's go to dinner and let's catch up But I gotta guarantee that before he gets in his car. He's like one of my fucking crazy

This is the guy that put me in a fucking car and then put me in the hands of some other guy Who thank god he was driving without his headlights on and he got caught This shit fucking bothers me, you know, yeah, but then I came to terms. I go, what do I expect out of life That people are just gonna forgive you. That's bullshit that they just view in the bible like you that people are really really really gonna forgive you It's kind of weird You can't the way I look at it is for me personally My job is to forgive

That doesn't mean I expect it from other people does that make sense like you I think you're doing everything right with that situation because you're even you're even being compassionate enough To think about things from his point of view. Do you know what I mean? Yeah that it's got to be painful for him and fear involved there, but The simple fact that you created this relationship is a miracle to me to begin with you know what I mean And maybe there could be that legitimate healing that legitimate like No, but then I turned the table to life, you know what I mean the tables around

I thought to myself wait a second somebody put if I had two kilos of coke Yes, and I invited you to my house And you robbed me what I want to see you not fucking really like I actually said that to myself Started laughing my ass off right in the morning and then I fell asleep right By the way, that's why I fell asleep on the plane there because I was fucking tired Like I didn't sleep that night. This is going through my head I was sleeping at the airport and out of the corner of my eye. I'm like that looks like skinny uncle joey You must have lost 20 pounds since the last time I saw him. Yeah, yeah

It was incredible. It was so much fun. They said I love that's my favorite thing about being a comedian and seeing your friends Yes, oh my god, the airport is Thursday morning. Yeah, and it's funny when you go through certain gates people go You just miss Felipe. Yeah, you just missed D. L. Hugley. You just miss Carlos man. It's fucking crazy It's crazy on Thursday mornings. It's five I'll be sitting there some times And I would just be like I'll get there early eat breakfast Like a six a.m. Flight seven a.m. Flight. Yeah, I'll get there like it's I'll get there way before six Me too and I get there and I just get a two eggs. So they sign up. I said that little mexican kind of joint

Like a doctor saying water. I take my blood pressure medication. I eat my edible Mexican lady knows me already because I said at the bar There's no drama. Yep people have to wait on enough to wait for a table Fucking bar and you're there by yourself. Who gives a fuck. Yep. I'm there in the corner It's a place when you're walking out. I think it's on the right hand side. Yeah, I know that's fun And I sit there sometimes and I'll see You know George Lopez walked by Then D. L. Hugley

The one day I saw Eddie Griffin and it was great. It was great Wow, I haven't seen him in years years like you just see a lot of fucking people But back to this fucking forgiveness shit. Yeah, it's everything. It's crazy years ago I fucking It was a misunderstanding and I and I still feel guilty about it this day because she went through surgery over it Okay, when we were kids we were riding bikes and this girl was riding took about one of my bikes and We were living we were living on charles court. I lived on giving on terrace, but they lived on charles court And the girl took my bike that

There was a bike thief that lived next door to me and he would steal bikes But he would put mix the bike parts together. Yeah, it was like a chop shop for BMX bikes He was chop shop for anything. Yeah, the guy was just brilliant How old was he? He was my age, but he was very much of a nerd. He had glasses He's a dentist today and he won't return my calls I've called him a bunch of times Another guy that I could another guy that I put through the fucking mill. Yeah, but you're doing everything you can do

Does that make sense? I thought he would call back because fuck, but then I started about him I mean, he's another guy. I gave him a bike one day. We used to be bike guys Yep, I always grew up a bike. I loved everything about bikes until I got the lawn mower bike Oh, you put the lawn mower engine on the bike little mini bike. Yeah, I had that one. I had the fucking The Honda mini trail. I had the XL 75 done the 80. Wow So 125 then I bought a Kawasaki 175 Then I had the accident and then no more motorcycles or bicycles in my life. Yeah the end of it But until that time I was a big bike guy and this guy and Michael Clemens who his family had flea

You know those people that the whole family's got vice So They all had crew cuts And nobody ate the sister's pussy The sister was hotter than fucked and she lived he was a bike dude that was sober like a A great kid Mike was a great great great kid growing up He would come out of like if if you were a little kid, he would come over and fix your bike for you He wasn't gay or nothing. He was just a great guy. We were about the same age

And in between us lived valentine and valentine was the bike kid Okay, that's the guy that's the dentist now. He would jerk off over bicycles Like I had never seen anything like that. Like if we would walk to the spiky store In those days, there were two stores the spiky store and the chink store All right, the spiky store was herman and his wife And he was friends with my ding and mighty gong martin the fact. Oh my god, that was his brother That was herman's brother and herman didn't claim him because he was gay So my mother called this is a tv show

My mother was friends with martin because he was a drug dealer and he lived under the garcias Which I was friends with like I grew up with the garcia girls The one garcia girl would forge my report card When I got left back, she's the one that would make copies of my report card switch to grade switch to grade number She was brilliant. She was already doing ids when she was in high school 16 I'm not gonna say her name. She was fucking doing ids for people She was that good of a fucking counterfeit us with wide out and printers and a printer all over a printer You have no idea. What about the like the report card one freaks me out

So what she would change you to like an a's straight a's a's b's a b minus, you know, no realistically and then What you doing now? Is she in that business? No, no, no, she's a married chick that was married She came to one of my shows in jersey years ago and I have a phone I check in with every six months. She's married. She married a great great friend of mine I went to medical school for like 32 years. Wow, like his family had so much money Yeah, his family's mother was a doctor and his father was a doctor And they were famous Cuban doctors in unia city. Okay, and these kids went to like The Dominican Republic to be doctors and they just stayed down there just had fun

Like just had partied with the money. I mean, we were kids. He would just go upstairs and take money out of a box Since I was a kid there was in his mother's room There was a silver box in the tank with a combination on it And they had the combination and you they would just go up and take whatever they needed Wow, we were going to the city. We'd go into hoboken and eat on 4th street We would go to hoboken when I was like in the seventh and eighth grade. This guy's name was lefty And he would pick me up in his car

And we held were you seventh eighth grade and he probably was a junior in high school. Okay, and he had a car already And he hung out with this dude surge your cat. I mean they they were just a crew of characters Yeah, but lefty knew every cool weed spot in the city like when I was in the eighth grade That summer. Yeah, eighth to freshman year He had a basketball court in his backyard and I pretty much that's when you wanted to come Like when you wanted to fucking play ball against the top ballers You went to lefty's backyard. That was happening like every day like every day like four o'clock people and at that time There were two old americans from hoboken, new jersey juice

And his buddy charlie or something or charlie was juice and there was another one. They ended up going to boston college Wow, big east big east and they would take a bus To come play this quarter that lefty's and this guy could they uh, Hoboken led the county and slam dunks that year When he was a junior when both of them were juniors. They led the county In slam dunks. Oh, they was like there was nothing better than a high school The roof would blow off a gym and here's the crazy thing That in high school this team was touted like one of like it was like them and sacred uh,

St. Anthony's from jersey city st. Anthony's was even established then. Oh, yeah Was hurley's dad the coach? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, and they had a kid named rich weiner Who was my idol? He was six foot seven. He ended up going to south carolina to a gamecox Wow, and that guy when I first went to superstar basketball camp, which was hurley's basketball camp I was in hurley's basketball camp the week elders died. Oh my gosh that same week I still remember reading the paper like that winds that would take the number one bus From north bergen to journal square and walk past hudson catholic Where michael coran and jim sponarco went I've discussed this at that now at this time these two motherfuckers from hudson catholic

Were playing both in the acc which at that time was fucking wow So michael coran was starting in at north carolina as a freshman. He's wow white dude six foot seven Jersey city boy and on the other side of duke his teammate was at duke jim sponarco Wow, but not really for basketball. He got a scholarship for his fucking coconut. Wow jim sponarco He's still on tv. Yeah, we discussed this shit a long time ago. I don't think it was with you with somebody else So sacred heart it was hudson county sacred heart in north bergen and hoboken And then you had east orange who everybody from louisville at the time What would go from east starings to louisville? They would call it the louisville connection

That guy would just recruit east starings all those black neighborhoods in there. Yep, and they were fucking fly I remember they went up against The team that went up against houston with five slamma jamma. Yes in louisville that year. Yes for the starters were from jersey Wow, like that. They called it the new jersey connection louisville and shit But anyway back to lefty. Yep lefty when I was growing up would take me into like that's the first person Whoever took me into this like I was buying weed in town. Yep. He was going on by this shit. Come on Let's go into the city And I was a catholic. I was a devote catholic devout. This is when I first started losing

This was the first time I ever really Lost faith in catholicism for the first time He took me to a church In the village and he goes come on get out. Let's go buy some weed And I go where we going and we went into the basement of the church In the basement of the church, it was a bingo room. Mm-hmm And there was a guy down there With all types of weed like green weed brown weed and in 1978 he used to sell this shit

That was like a brick. Mm-hmm And he would it was like weed packaged and dipped in hash oil That's how ahead of the game this guy was plus he sold bars of hash Wow, and I'll never forget going downstairs and paying for the reefer in the hash and looking up and the priest was in the corner The priest was letting this guy sell weed and take kids as a As a way to get money And I was like that's when I first saw Things for what they you know I'm saying like I came from a fucked up world. Yeah

But now I'm downstairs in a fucking church buying weed and you're a kid you're 13. I'm 13 And I was like wow the world is fucking crazy. Like this is fucking crazy And I didn't know nothing about pedophilia. I'm not like that in those days. I wasn't empty none of that shit about priest I didn't know nothing about that. I never heard nothing If anybody was a pedophile was me or something. I don't fucking know. I think I'm saying I don't fucking know. Yeah But uh, then you're talking about the bike guy. How you tortured him? No, but I was trying to think how come he never returned Michael Yeah, and him and I were like goombas like here because I knew he had that twitch for stealing

And everybody thought he was just a nerd Okay, the bike kid was had a twitch. Oh, right. He likes stealing bikes and then he would bring him home And he would cut him apart and he would see what Michael Clemens needed And Michael Clemens would see what he needed, but Michael didn't even know he was stealing the bikes Gotcha, so then he would take the frames saw dust the fucking thing the serial number off Yeah, he would put a tag over it with a new serial. I mean he was tagging in the seventh grade already And his and his bicycle the choice was the one from wonderama The Apollo or whatever the one with the handlebars like a chopper

Yeah, like a chopper with a fucking sissy bar in the back. Yeah, he stole all those he would steal one a day People be chasing the water and he got caught a couple times and beat up like he would go in the neighborhoods cut the fence Jump the fence take the bike and 10 kids were chasing down the sophisticated operation He was a fucking savage this kid And then he would take the bikes bring him back to his house and switch the body parts colors tires So it was a complete different looking bike and then he would sell it to one of us Or keep it for himself He must have had 15 fucking bikes in his backyard and he lived upstairs. He was a tenant

To the yard teases. They were johoba witnesses. We used to torture them too We used to call them on the phone and say that big old a whole lot I really want to see the tv show or instead of the it's your version of the wonder years Just in that neighborhood would be the greatest thing on tv He was a great kid never really got high and he was raised by a mom Uh The The people across the street, I always say the people next door to me and I'm lying

This is weird because the other I was thinking about this I was thinking about women and what's going on with women now Yeah, and I was thinking about when I had tj English on the show And we were talking when I was on the rogan show and I was talking about that guy thought that I knew Yeah At that time in the american period in that in the 70s. Yeah I really hate to say this the way I'm about to say this but I have to say this just so people are aware You would see women with black eyes from time to time. You would see women with fat lips

You heard domestic violence and you just walked by In the 70s domestic violence was still a little fucking secret And it wasn't accepted in my house like my mother broke that fucking thing over one's head and that was it but The thing I saw one christmas Like I got in trouble one time for domestic violence and it really bothered me This was when I was the fucking kiss of debt In 95 I was around somebody who had bad energy And I kept getting in trouble with her one time and I ended up getting domestic violence

I remember how much it bothered me it bothered me because of the event I saw on that block When I was like on the seventh grade. There was a couple who lived across the street And one night we had a let the woman in our house And the beating A husband had put on her I have not even seen a boxer look that bad Like the cops would have put this guy in jail for 20 years when he did to this chick

He burned it with cigarettes. He busted the head open Jesus He fucking cut her he punched her her lip her teeth who missing My mother had a threat and the guy with the guns they wrapped her up They put ice on her. She didn't want to go to the hospital. She had a fucking side was purple. He was kicking her I mean, and I remember talking about that dootati from The corporation's his wife Nina. He would throw ferocious beatings It was part of the lifestyle that you beat your fucking wife

Like that is fucking absurd to me that machete that machismo part of it of smacking a woman in the mouth or something like that That's fucking crazy to me But it was something that was a little hidden secret in america, you know irish dads, you know, they were just pounding on fucking kids You know, I know a family where the dad was pounding like it I know a family where the where the son was pounding on the dad Jesus I grew up with a fucking kid who used to beat his dad up with his cane my god

I gotta tell you something's pretty funny. He would take the cane from this beat him with it. Fuck you. Give me the car keys Fuck you. I won't do what you tell me I won't do it. Tell me Rage against the machine. I won't do what you tell me Oh, man, and you want me to tell you something funny? I could call me about five years ago The big daddy came the guy the guy was beating his dad And he called me and I think he remembered I had seen it a couple times. Yeah, and he called me and he goes I've been looking for you number for a while

My mom still says you owe money, but he goes I want to call you because My dad died and like I miss him a lot and now I know what you were going through at that age And I can't even imagine how tough you are for going through it And when I got off the phone I remembered that he beat his dad up in front of him He died with a cane a couple times he beat him up with a fucking So crazy Do I remember the first time I saw One of my dad's my one of my friend's dad's hit like not even hit compared to what you're talking about

There's nothing just like a little smack in the back of the head, but I was a lot my parents see my parents would yell but they wouldn't do I like I never got more than spanked. I don't think Maybe smacked once or twice. Yeah, but I remember seeing a kid get And it was like, yeah, like it shocked me. No, I don't mind seeing a kid. Oh, I've seen kids get hit by their parents. Oh Oh Jesus I lived in the neighborhood where I saw people get fucking. Oh, yeah belts Oh, chase down. I'm my mom chased me one time with a fucking stick

And she chased me and I may believe she wasn't my mom at the pool We were at I was at Carmine Balzano's house in the pool. My mother told me to make the bed I'm like, I'm not making a fucking bed I'm out here. I'm gonna make a bed for if I fucking gotta go back to bed and she would go Well, you're gonna take a shit. Why are we gonna wipe your ass for if you're gonna take a shit an hour later, right? And I would go I'm not fucking making the bed and she fucking I'm at the pool like with the chicks thinking you're the bottom of the ground thinking I'm the man

I wasn't that here. Oh, Antonio And I'm sitting on That's gotten louder and louder and also I see her by the fence get out of that fucking pool in spanish I'm like, who is this lady? I've never seen her before in my life. She's crazy And I ran that way like I got out and ran that way She chased me. Oh my god, how old are you? 9 10 No 13 14. This is oh god. Yeah, she chased me the chicks meant something

It's like as embarrassing and she had already taken me into deep waters of embarrassment There was a guy on my corner misto tino. He was really racist and every time I'd walk by the house He'd go you and the niggas cutting some chickens up tonight. He would always say like the most racist things He would call me a spick to my face This the show's gonna be have to be on net like this tv show and then He we ended up becoming friends. Oh tino me and old man. Oh tino fucking hated each other for years Him and his fucking german wife his nazi wife. I hated those motherfuckers I hated those people for years not the end the last two years we became friends

And then I would go over his after my mother died. I would knock on his door And he would ask me how I was doing. He had one tooth. Yeah, he would sit on his back and just criticize everybody Mr. Tino, what's happening? He would just tell me fuck you you fucking speck fuck I mean, he would just insult me right out every day From the time I was 10 to I was like 13 or one day So, you know what miss no tino suck my fucking dick, bitch And he freaked like he couldn't handle that in front of his wife. Like what you say speck kid

I go suck my dick. You want to fucking throw down motherfucker? And then what happened was I think he was there the day my step dad took the gun out against albie arisa's father Again, it's like it was a battle. Oh my god, bro. This is the story i'm getting to that This is crazy Miss don't tino lived across in the clements And he would Yeah He would sit there all day and just criticize

Look at this dirty white fuck And the specials were italian. That's the only one he would talk to So dominic and michael and him would sit on their back We're talking italian about people And I understood him because i'm so close. Yeah, so close to spanish. I understand what the fuck they were saying They'd be talking about the aminigan And the fucking spickaroos they were calling spickaroos and fucking right to my face That almost sounds nice and I would walk past him. He'd go hey

Your mom cutting any chickens up tonight or what like every night he would torment me about santeria or fucking something Like he had one tooth. He had one fucking tooth down here He was bald like he was going bald already. He had to be retired because he just sat on his balcony all day And I remember I used to play basketball and I'd walk past him and he'd go I don't know when you're gonna give that up. You're a spick. You're never gonna be bigger than five eight Like he'd just say racist dream crusher just and I tell him this, you know, what are you gonna suck my dick? How did you guys become friends? Finally after I told him to suck my dick like 10 times

No, what happened was So the story i'm getting to is valentine and the fucking uh And the bicycle so okay, let's get the valentine first Valentine was my goomba the way you are my goomba. Yep The valentine was that goomba you had that always gets a tail end of the fucking stick At the end of the day his mother used to whistle for him. Yep, and only he could hear it was like a dog whistle He could be in seat caucus in a swamp Dragging a motorcycle dog from a train that we'd steal. Yep, and honestly go I gotta go

And we go, what the fuck you going and you just seemed he would just tear ass home He could hear his mother's whistle. She was going And he was fucking fly home. He would stop but he was doing his mother would beat the fuck out of okay So we were kids and then I had a uh the first thing that happened was I bought a motorcycle from ritchie vanacheck Richie vanacheck had one of those bicycles that I already had a hundred fifty and I already had an excel 75 and I already had an 80 Wow, but to be cool Richie vanacheck was selling his lomo one that he had bored the engine out

So it was a strong there's like a 75. Wow only on the old frame You're on a normal bike frame And um, yeah the the mini bike yeah the the two with the two little tires and the whole thing And it was the one that you pulled a lomo you fill it on the gas a little oil That seems really dangerous. Oh my god. We were little baby kids and kids would just go fly around the block on the block But they explode nothing nothing. Jesus. You would hear him though. We'd run Yeah, yeah, you would pull the rope And that's how you know you could tell if people like just a couple people had those you would pull the rope

And it was an engine tied to a rope like this and you would pull it And it would spark fucking tremendously And you would put gas you'd go to the gas station and fill gas but the cops couldn't see you If the cops saw you you get pulled over and they'd take it away. So you were always riding from cops not street legal They weren't so they really would say not so no matter if you had if a cop caught you they would take him away or warn you Whatever, so you were always on the fucking lookout. You were living like a rebel at 12. Yeah So I already had all the motorcycles But richie valid check called me when then he goes, listen, I'm selling my the black one. I need money 35 bucks

So on christmas fucking eve I walked over to richies and gave myself a christmas present. I bought richie's motorcycle. I think I traded him a weed and a bike And I ride at home but as I'm riding at home richie goes bro be careful the seat Is not screwed in Oh, you gotta get a noose knock them off for the seat. Okay, so be careful in the right home So I ride the thing home through charles court up fucking liberty whatever that street is and I make a union turnpike And I make it right up giving that terrace And as I'm going in my garage the windows start going up the storm window

The screen the window the other window in his head pop. He's like, what do you got? Oh valentine heard it as he heard it. He was a motorcycle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes. What do you got? Oh, Shit, I'm coming now And he fucking swam that thing and that'd be like 8 30 quarter nine christmas eve And he comes down and he fucking Oh my god, we're gonna have so much fucking fun But it just snowed Oh, no, it snowed like three two days early and all that was left the streets were clean

But there was black ice and the sides were like two feet of snow. Okay streets were clean. Yeah, but he's dead black ice is treacherous So he's like, oh man, I can't wait to bore this out He goes we're gonna take the top off and we're gonna put a fucking thing in there He could see all the yeah, he could see all the potential But what he wanted to really ask me was can he ride can he ride the fucking thing? And he's like, you know, oh my god. Yeah. Well, he goes do you mind if I ride like, oh, yeah get on the fucking bike So he I thought this motherfucker was just gonna like

You know, whatever that's it. Yeah, no North bergen is known for having the second hilliest town in the country behind san francisco Okay, every block is a fucking hill That's why my heart is tougher than that because I walked those hills in north bergen They even have a fan page on facebook If you grew up in north bergen, if you walked the hills in north bergen, you have no idea like the sledding must have been great When I went home, when I went home, I was talking to d. They go d. How many times you walked up that hill talking Mixing Gatorade and vodka as we're walking up to the boat. We would run up that hill

Wow, that's the shape we were in. It was amazing that 46 speed hill is a fucking monster So didi goes to the top out didi valentine valentine goes to the top of the fucking hill And I go valentine be careful because deceit So he goes to the top of the hill and he pops like a wheelie and he's fucking He's coming down my block and I'm watching him. He's a good rider. You know, yeah, I'm watching him And all of a sudden he's like 10 feet away He looks at me weird because he hit black ice

Which is not good if the seat's attached the seat wasn't attached and he was on it And all of a sudden I say I made eye contact with him as he hit the black eyes, right? And he started losing control of the bike And I could see him like he's panicking he hit black ice and it's a thread of it And all of a sudden the the fucking he's squeezing the brakes and he's hitting black ice And he just fucking missed getting hit by a car and you didn't turn bike But he crashed against lucy snow bushes wall like the plants the cemetery flowers all that shit And I think he ended up getting stitches on christmas eve and something else like a broken finger

Or a broken list and my bike was perfect. I just picked that up and walked it on He's Where are you going the seat was up the corner like the seat that flowed off What happened was he hit something and the seat started sliding Oh, god, his arm is like this and all of a sudden the seat Flipped behind the thing and his arm is still on it. So he just he just let go of the bike And just let that go and let the bike go and he just slipped And you could see as he's sliding on the ice on this fucking

And he had a big scrape on his back I mean it was just a nightmare the next day I saw him was I don't even know why I got on the bike and all this Shit that was accident number one while he was around me. Now his mother didn't really like me His mom didn't like me at all. So now a year later I got a bunch of dough together and I go up to see his and robuck and I buy one of those fucking bikes And I bring it down the hill I mean I rode it all the way from see his robuck I pulled up in front of my house

And they had like the ringer bell or something something that made a noise and he pops this head up. Oh, shit Yep, a new bike. He comes down again And he's looking at and he's like, oh, we're gonna put a sissy bar on this There's like a year later after this thing and he's like we're probably 12 or 13 I'll fucking know we're young Again, all he wanted to do is take a ride on the bike and had those what do you call those handlebars? Like this where you hold them like this and they go like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Like it's like it makes a big you like a big you so he's on the you again

He goes to the top of the fucking hill It's the summertime The birds are chirping the clouds are out. It's human the ice cream man's about to come Kids are out everywhere. He goes to the top of the hill And he's speeding I already rode this bike down a fucking hill I went to 38th street park and showed it off. I rode on Union Turnpike. I bring it home They built it for me at the fucking seas like I took it off the thing like we ain't got time Just give me the fucking sample that's $10 off or something for $3 off and they gave me the sample the floor model

The floor model. I just I ain't got time to build it But they go, no, we still got to check it out. So you check it out and I rode it home I get home and there's Valentine and there he goes. He wants to ride the bike again He gets on the fucking bike again again. He goes to the top of the hill Pops a wheelie and he lands and he's fucking speeding down And I could see him like oh and people like go Valentine go and he's like going and all of a sudden they didn't tie This knot here on the bicycle and the handlebar

They just went down and all of a sudden he's looking at me like again and again stitches Broke I pick up my bike. I bring it like nothing happened What about the time at the fire? What what fire didn't it wasn't there like a kid? I think a bug spray or something. That was so now a year goes by again Now we're into hanging out in the woods

Oh, yeah going exploring in the woods was so great. It had the woods behind our house So there was a soccer field where we ended up robbing We robbed all the tin metal off the roof Where the people sat under like people would sit there and watch soccer games We stole all the metal one one by one what a ratchet said every night me and mike denny the devil the copper The metal the metal storage trains that thing that goes like this. Oh, yeah metal Sheathing type yeah, yeah, yeah each of those sheets was 80 bucks That's a grandma blow and fucking 10 dollars a gas for each of us

And we would go up there with a ratchet set and take three That's the game. What's going on? No, no, no, no like in the off season They came back in the season and they go what happened to our fucking roof And they had to put a whole new roof on I mean we took every sheet of fucking metal off that thing So and that took you to columbia lanes, which was a pool hall Combination bowling alley. They had the best chocolate milk Upstairs under the machine the what the the milk machine remember when the milk came in bags And they would put it into the oh you press the thing you press the thing. Yeah

Oh my god, they would give you you who like a chocolate milk ice cold chocolate I haven't had a chocolate milk in with a fucking 15 year fucking strong and they would make it fresh with a spoon I love that you were robbing a place and then still kid like I'd like some chocolate milk right now That's the tv show but that was part of the the the soccer field had nothing the soccer field was Schutzen field It was a german place. It's still there. They do big time parties And they did soccer back there and when you rode your motorcycle back there A guy would come out with a german shepherd and the knife and his name was the chef He was the chef of the place and he was a true nazi

And he would go back there yelling german get their fucking slicing kankankankankankankank off my fucking field Wow, and he would chase you off there There's a couple times you chase north bergen baseball would practice there the Todd brothers rich and jeff Todd They would practice there He chased him off there with a knife the guy was crazy. Wow So you had to be crazy and Schutzen field So we started going up there and drinking and partying and shit. Yes, you get older So we started going up into the woods

And then one night it was the winter so we would go up to the woods Get a bottle of boons for them. Yep. Why no one of us would drink it and fucking light fires Okay, and every night the challenge was to light the bigger fire Okay, you know like tonight I brought a piece of plywood and I stole some gasoline from my uncle and we'd make a fire Yeah, like a campfire We did this for about two weeks. We made we included valentine He gets up there one day and he comes up with a jar of one of these Only bigger. Okay. It was distinct right here. It was a light salt can. Yep. He brought a light salt can up with him

We had the fire going there's eight of us. Okay He goes watch this guys and he throws the light in the fire We're sitting there for about eight minutes. How close are you guys to the fire? I mean the fire was right there with that Fuck the clicker is where the clicker is and we were surrounded around the fire was winter time And he goes, let's throw this in and see what happens. He throws it in Everybody's moving back like a fucking like Rambo's coming out not him. He's right on top of it right there About six seven eight minutes go by we forget about the fucking can

And all of a sudden you hear Boom Let me tell you how life I saw The can blow. Oh my god was a shrapnel and you see this piece right here. Yeah, this blew from the thing and you saw it It went right in the direction like I saw it like I was looking at it walking back like going this is not going to be good

Yeah, walking back like me domics, but yeah, I got restless soul It had to be louis the nigger louis anandes carlos pares It had to be a bunch of those guys And I never forget walking back and hearing the boom and seeing something fly and valentine Was six feet from the fucking thing jesus and the next thing you know that circle Was in his leg. Oh, and it was burning through the jeans You could see the smoke

Already because they had burned. That's a bomb. No. No. It was fucking horrible guys It was one of the worst things that funny and bad at the same time because this could only happen to valentine Oh my god. I mean he ran down that leg With that fucking thing like it was like a cattle prod. Yeah, it was hot It was fucking on fire. Probably still the scar because oh, yeah. Oh fuck. Yeah And dog after that, I can't really figure out what happened between Oh my god, oh my god, Joey that's uh Yeah, I looked them up. I found them. He's a dentist, but now he won't reply

How about a shout out for Jason Hutchins? Joshua Wesley Cornelius Barrows, Lauren Rosenka, my man Jeffrey Collins Andrew McCarthy Christopher court And phoenix Xavier glad song. I love you motherfuckers. Don't forget may 26th Working out with uncle Joey at the fucking ice house. Don't forget this weekend My little brother Steve Simone at the downtown. It's the south club It's the south club comedy Comedy works

I need a party till somebody fought Oh my god, no, it just bothers me that Like I feel bad. Yeah, I really true in my heart Feel really bad. Like, you know, just say hello You know, but one of the bikes he sold me Yep Didn't still I was walking out of my house one day. I dated this girl I fell in love with the seventh grade with this girl. She's fucking beautiful. It doesn't matter what her name is

And we didn't have sex or nothing like we weren't even close to I saw titties one time, you know She we were we were holding hands and we'd watch don I was like it was like the way Paul had hit But we would hold hands and one Donnie and Marie and I would go to the fucking movies with the grandmother I was an asshole. Yeah, I was a little fucking asshole. That was my first girlfriend Yep, I thought you had to bring chocolates and flowers and meanwhile. I'm not getting any pussy. I'm dry banging on that fucking thing every night I'm like fuck this But we played hooky a lot All right, and we go back to my house and one day they called my mother my mother just happened to be home at lunch time

they called So she lived caddy Yeah, like on my ankle. Yeah, my mother went in the backyard and started calling her a whore Buddha Whoever raised that little girl's a whore. She's over here every day in my son's bedroom and just embarrassing Wow, we got to a house her mother sat us down and she goes your mother is out of control The things she's saying back there, you know, my house no more and all this shit Buddha

Oh, she was calling her a whore your daughter's a skinny whore jannis rossi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was my mother It was terrible Terrible it was just embarrassing and then we were allowed to see each other And then it slowed down and it ended up we didn't date and I got left back and the whole thing And then we just broke up one day. There was no back at that time. I was just heartbroken Yeah, I got I was more heartbroken about getting left back. There was nothing worse than feeling stupid Yeah, and I I did it over a fucking broad, you know something like I I got so Infactuated with her, but I forgot about yeah, like I felt geography. I don't figure I went to summer school for geography and math

All right, and like I couldn't even resist her pussy. I like I I stopped going to summer school just to dry hump and be there in the daytime. That's how weak I was, you know just weak But that taught me like a big like I couldn't let my mother know I got left back So I had to live on the straight narrow now So I had to study every night. There was no reason why my mother would have to get called to school. I was very gotcha I had to live for four years very carefully Yeah, I couldn't

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I I took my mother away from the game like I yes I didn't let her know anything. Yeah, no reason to even know she kept asking me I'm like, when are you going to graduate? And I said, you know what? I'm supposed to graduate, but I'm going to basketball camp instead. Gotcha. She's like, am I going to make me so depressed?

I can't believe I'm not going to see you graduate. I'm like, ah, you'll be here to see me graduate high school. And I kept going. The lie just kept going. That's how lies work. Then I got into the freshman year and fucking, I'm like, when is this going to stop? Then suddenly, and I'm like, I always said in that story,

when I found it dead, the first night came to my mind, was I knew she wouldn't find that. I got that back. Like I just knew it wouldn't come to that fucking time. But New Yorker, that was the girl's name. We stayed friends, you know, we tried to stay friends or whatever. And then we became kind of friends.

We all played together. I got over it. I started going to karate and I started playing basketball more and I got back into the string of things. And I forgot all about it. You know what I'm saying? I think I started dating somebody else,

a girl that's dead now. God bless her so, her lead in karate. And we were friends, like just like how long goodbye was friends with her brother. You know how it is. Yes. And one day I'm leaving the house and Valentin goes, hey man, take a ride on this bike.

It doesn't feel right. So sure enough, when I hit the left on the corner, I felt that the steering wheel wouldn't move fast enough. Gotcha. Like the steering wheel needed a WD-40 or oil or something. So I just took the thing to Charles Court and I went up the hill. You know, I didn't stand up.

So if the chain broke, I would fall. I just add old, gently. And I went up Charles Court and I got to the top of Charles Court and they were playing. I put the bike down. Charles Court is one of those streets that's a loop, a cul-de-sac and sort of,

but it does have an island in the middle. Cool. And a girl lived in that house. There was two houses in the middle and there was a bunch of bushes and shit. The guy on this corner was the guy that was working with the Iceman. Oh my God.

That block was a hot block. That was the guy that was the guy that taught, Iceman how to use the poison. Mr. Softy. Mr. Softy lived on Charles Court. So we were all playing. Charles Court had Sabatino, Dean Altman, those two kids that the father was,

Mr. Softy, Alarisa. They had their own little community on Charles Court. You didn't have to leave Charles Court. Charles Court had their old kids that played with each other. So giving that terrace would go over and play with Charles Court. The specials, Valentine, Michael Clemens.

And by that time they wouldn't say it in English to his face. They would say it in Spanish. And then to the same. To Valentine? No, to Michael Clemens. They would say, Me to tine piolos.

That means Clemens has fleas. Alarious. Pioos. Pioos means fleas. So after all this spick thing and spick that. How many times did he have lice just once and he never lived that down? His whole family had it and they lived,

they could never live it down. People wouldn't go to their house. People wouldn't sleep over there. What a mistake and stuff. Forever, he had fleas. Me to tine piolos. He still won't friend me on Facebook. But he won't friend me.

He can't get over it. He won't friend me on Facebook. Not because of that. Why won't he friend you on Facebook? Because one day we were out there playing and Michael Clemens got into an argument. Carmine Balzano, son of Anthony. God bless his soul too.

So something, they got into an argument about a bike. I don't know. I was not there. I was there but I wasn't there. You were there but you're not there. Yes. So it's a summer day. Otino's on the balcony yelling racist stuff for people.

The tooth guy. Those are noties are out. Puerto Rican Nelson lived there at the time. The pervert. They lived behind the fucking. This is the best TV show ever. Best TV show ever. I just imagine my head leg of the house.

I took you. I took you there. I showed you. If you watched the film, I'll show you. I'll show you a Puerto Rican Nelson lived. There's a noties. Then across the street was Raul. Raul lived across the street.

While they were moving in, me and Michael Speciale broke into their house while they were moving in. So I had a stereo. So I stuck the stereo and I had it in my bedroom. Guess what? I became friends with Raul. So Raul would come over to my house. I wouldn't let him in my room.

My mom would go take Raul to your room. I don't care if I go in my room because I had a stereo in my room. Oh my God. While they were moving in from the Bronx, we robbed their house. And for years they kept saying, well, this is a terrible neighborhood.

We got robbed as we were moving in. Oh. As they were moving, the house across the street always had drama for me. They could never have the right renter. Next to them was the girl named Grace something and her sister. And they were really cute.

They ended up moving to Teenac when we were in high school. On the top of the block was a girl named Grace Savoyer, AKA the onion. Because Savoyer means the onion in Spanish. And her mother was hot. Hot mom. Hot mom. And they were really sweet.

Grace was very sweet. But Grace's mother was having an affair with like an older man that was married. And this is way before Beverly Hills cop dog. This is 75, 76. While he was up there fucking the mom, we put potatoes in his gas pipe. And he tried to start the car.

Nobody knows what I'm up to. And the car wouldn't start it. He would fucking die. He'd have to put potatoes, he'd put his fucking die. And he would never look there. God, maybe it's good kids have TV now. Because maybe the whole iPad's out of there. Keep them out of trouble.

Oh, my God. They probably, do you think the police reports about like the given or terrorist like kid gang, like someone's gonna happen? It was just, guys, it was just growing up. It was just growing up. I didn't do any of that stuff. No, no, it's just growing up.

You cannot. That's incredible. That block, I used to have, I used to have a backyard. And it was that block, it was one foot block inch thick blocks of concrete. Oh yeah. And you're supposed to put concrete in the middle of them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My parents were Puerto Ricans. They didn't do that. They just laid the block down on the dirt. Yep. And I put, turned that into a basketball court. That's why I was such a good dribbler. Oh, because you couldn't dribble everywhere.

You could, no, no, no, no. You couldn't dribble on there. I figured out how to hang a basketball court in my backyard and have three on three games. And dribble on that floor. It was, it was, you'd be dribbling, the ball would jump out of your head. I figured out how to dribble because I would dribble there.

But not only did I have a basketball court, I turned it into a pseudo baseball diamond. And I had the green monster, but it wasn't my yard. The green monster was the O'Rourke's yard. Next to us, nice as white people you ever met. You know, very polite. We'd bring all the like Christmas cookies and shit. They could not take us.

We were playing fucking Spanish music. Because the balls always go, oh gosh. The Spanish music. So I built a fake brick wall and called it the green monster when they went on vacation. Was there a fence between your backyard to know? There was a fence. So you would hop the fence,

then put the wall over there? Put the wall over there. So if you hit a home. So we put, we put an extra guy over the fence. And we put it right. His job is just to. So I just took bricks and put them together. Real bricks?

Real bricks. I took them one day. I bought them from Rental Lumber. I think my mind got them for me. They delivered them to my house and they put them in my backyard. Me, one by one, I took each brick, jumped the fence with each brick, I threw them over

and I built a wall that was probably five feet. But it was just made of brick. There was no concrete. Okay. Are you following me? It was just made of brick. That's not a very sturdy. No.

So I made it stay like this. I don't know how. And one night we're having a softball game there. And there was this kid that has bad acne on my block. Michael Speciale. He had the worst acne ever seen in life. He had a pimple on his lip one time. It was a, it was a whitehead around the blackhead

that had gotten infected. Oh, that had a hurt so bad. And he bit into a cheeseburger and the thing popped right in front of us and you saw the pus on the cheeseburger. I will never forget that. And that place is still there. That burger place.

No wonder you never ate cheeseburgers. Oh my God, it was disgusting. He had pimples everywhere. He had the worst acne. He had the worst. I had bad acne as a kid. People would torture him. He had it on his back and his neck

and they were horrible, horrible whiteheads. Like that just stuck on an inch. Like when you talk to him, you want to pop him. Yeah, yeah. Let me get that popped. Let me pop that fucking zit on your forehead. Like it was just a horror shot. He was playing out for you one day.

And I hit like a bomb. And he's running towards it. Hang on. The door, the door, the door is the wall. Like Carl Yastramski, I mean. He's running towards the wall. And brother, guess what this motherfucker does? He tries to put his foot up on the wall.

I'm finally one of the guys. Wait until they see how good of an athlete I am. And he fucking went through that wall. You should have seen the lifting on his face. All the bricks were on top of him, stitches the whole thing. He won't talk to me either. Oh my gosh. Listen, I talked to his sister and his sister

and me connected out here 15 years ago. And she told me that she asked him if he knew me and he goes, nope. And I go, that's a lie. She goes, no, he makes believe like he doesn't know you today. Wow. Because the abuse on him was so bad.

Like he still, like he only talks to one kid and his younger brother died. So he always blamed us. Didn't blame me. Cause I wasn't with the brother when he died. Me and the brother. He was a kid when that happened. He was 16.

The brother that died was 16 and Michael was probably 18. What was his nickname? That's sad. What did they call him? Creature feature or something. They called him something. So it's the sister older or younger?

Younger. And she was about five when Dominic died. So she calls me from time to time. We always talk on his anniversary, August 4th. We went to THC Crystal and he took it one day with these older guys and jumped into not like a pack-on but the quarry or something in Jersey.

Dude, that was always happened. Like those late 70s, that stuff was bad. And he fucking drowned. And I still have a picture of him. I like to candle from every Monday. And I put a glass of water for him. He was my goomba. But he got involved in something

and I stopped banging out with him. Like I just, we all grew each other. But we went to offense, defense, football camp together. We did a bunch of things together. But the older brother hooked up with, he quit high school and he hooked up with an older woman. So when the brother died, he blamed it on himself. And not being there.

But what happened with Michael Clemens at the end was that one day Anthony and him, Anthony died. But Anthony was always getting into arguments. And then when a parent would come out, Anthony would yell at the parent. And then when the parent would say something to him, Anthony would go home and get his father to beat him up. And it was classic.

And at that time, everybody knew of Carmine's reputation. He was the toughest guy in the neighborhood. He was the mayor's driver. And he was a detective. And he was involved with a lot of people and they were lighting fires. So I used to call him the torch. Because he had a go-go bar slash flea market.

In the daytime, it was a flea market. And at night, it was a go-go bar. So it was known that he was good at fires. But one day they actually called him. He tried to light the go-go bar on fire. And some kids were outside playing. They're like, mister, there's smoke coming out of the building. He's like, there's no smoke.

You're not saying anything. He's five hours apiece. Those kids went out and called the police. And then they tried to prosecute him. Wasn't he a police officer? He was a cop. And he still kept his job. And he got, yeah, cause he faked a heart attack.

So you faked a heart attack instead of going to jail. And you don't have to answer questions until you get out of the heart attacks and you get your attorney up. So if you're getting in trouble, you get a heart attack, a fake heart attack. And you're fucking, oh yeah, this was classic. So by this time, he was notorious.

He had already beaten up Mr. Robson. Did you guys see it? Yeah, that's how I became friends with the family. Oh, I remember. You stood up for the kid, right? You stood up for Anthony, right? I stood up for Anthony by mistake. Like not knowing just from what I had learned

and you just moved there, right? From New York. I had lived there for about maybe a year and a half. And I had not gone to play with those kids. I was petrified of those kids. Yeah, I remember that feeling. Those kids didn't look like the New York City kids. But I know they looked a little harder, a little weirder.

Yeah. But once I got out there, I liked them. And I became friends with this Italian family. And you know, anything he gave, bro, he did a lot to me when I was growing up. I had a no-show job at a harvest man as a janitor. I had a no-show job at a park. Our dog, he took care of me.

Like it was fucking- Yeah, understood. You were a family. I was telling him, I was telling Lee last night that his famous words to me always were, if you want to kill somebody, invite him off for dinner. And I was like, eight. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Eight inappropriate advice. I met him when I was 10. I'm lying to you. I met him when I was 10. From the time I was 10 or 11 to fucking after he did it, then he finally invited somebody to his house and he shot him seven times in self-defense. In October of 83, he fucking shot a guy.

In October of 82, he shot a guy seven times in the back in self-defense. They found out he ended up owning the guy half a million dollars, that's why he shot him. They put a gun in the guy's hand, the guy laid him down and Carmine lost his job, but he never lost his pension. Wow. This was a crazy block.

He was the king of the block. So, but he lived on by the park, but giving that terrace belonged to him. And Anthony got into an argument with Mr. So, it's a summer day, everybody's on the, they're all Italians, everybody's on the fucking block. Michael gets into an argument, Anthony, Anthony gets into an argument with Michael's father.

Anthony goes, really? I'll run home and get my dad and we'll fucking figure it out. He came back with Mr. Carmine handcuffed and beat him up in the neighborhood in front of everybody. Just started punching him like you see in the movies. With the handcuffs on and the guy's yelling, police brutality, police brutality. And everybody started sweeping.

Not my business. Everybody on the bunk started sweeping or they went inside the house. The only person who stayed outside was Otino yelling in German and shit, whatever the fuck, and his Nazi wife. Was that the one where he had two cruisers come up and they were running tickets to fake people?

Yeah, and then the cops would come, they'd write fake tickets and then he beat him up handcuffed. And then he unhandcuffed him. To make him apologize? No, he unhandcuffed him and left him on the floor. And then they were yelling and screaming, didn't anybody see nothing, we're gonna press charges. And the whole block was like, we don't know nothing.

We don't know nothing. So he got really, he never friended me. He never friended me, I tried, he's active on that. Yeah. He never spoke to other people from the neighborhood. No, he never. He just wants to. After that day, you know how embarrassing it is

to see your dad get beat up and nobody fucking stick up for him. Yeah. But after that dad became friends with Otino though, because Otino said I was tied up with karma and he's like, oh, okay, I won't call you a spick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was allowed to sit on this block and talk to him at night

and I'd go over there at night and sit there in the summer nights and talk to him. That was a very interesting block, man. That was a very interesting Puerto Rican Nelson, the pervert, the one who would play football with us and shit in the robe all the time. He always had a robot, bro. It was the weirdest fucking thing.

This is the greatest TV show that's never been made yet. I'm serious, Joey. This is too good. I love how this all started with talking about forgiveness too. Yeah, this is what it's about. It's forgiveness, really. I never forgot none of those stories. I never forgot that.

And there's more, like when you bump into people, like I talked to Gina a lot. Who's sister was that? Gina lived on Charles Court. I just talked to her two days ago and she's like, are you on the podcast? I want to talk some shit. So I might have a call with her.

Oh, that'd be great. Yeah, yeah, I still talk to her. One of the guys, the people who took me in there, he's running for something in town, this May 5th or something. I don't know what happened if he wanted that. May night, I don't know when the election is, but it's weird that when we went down there,

remember the guy came out, me and Lee went to that neighborhood. We saw him, that street is completely different. That's at one time, that street, in the summer, it would have 15 kids on it. Yeah. 15,000 kids. Yeah.

And the street over 38th Street Park, they had to be 30 there, and Charles Court had about eight or nine. Yeah. Liberty, even the block where the school was, that block there was a hot block. It was the Masinas, the Cannellis who's called into the podcast, Ray Canella.

He owns the fucking horror show thing. Richie Vanecek lived on that block. There was a Deba Moussela, that was a hot block too. We had four or five. We don't talk about good times, all those people. And then you talk about across the park, the Balzano block, that was Carmine Balzano,

Carlos Perez, the Carnies, Brian Carney, one time we pissed in a bottle, we put a lid on it and put it back in the six pack, and he took it out and drank the piss. It's hysterical, you can't write that shit, you understand me? He was sitting there for an hour with this piss, just drinking and going, man, hilarious. We pissed in the nip, one of those eight ounce beers,

and we put the lid back on. This little pony bottle's a little bit. So this day, anytime you mention Brian Carney, they're like, man, didn't he drink piss one time? I love that, nobody ever gets over the most embarrassing worst moment of their life is what they're known for forever. Didn't he drink piss?

Didn't he drink piss one time? And he had sisters and shit you had, the benders you had. You had so many fucking people on that block, like so many kids, and now you don't see a kid anywhere. No. Like not even by fucking accident when you see a kid playing or talking or doing anything.

And it breaks my heart. It breaks my, look at Lee, Lee goes, I never did none of that shit. Like I had fun, man. Who fucking builds a wall out of bricks? I never thought somebody was gonna go for it. In someone else's yard, what are you, why was there a wall there?

Oh, I just left it there too. They came back from vacationing on rocks like, what the fuck? They just saw bricks with blood on it. They were like, what the fuck is going on? I could see my dad just be like, honey, just don't ask any questions. You have no idea how,

and then next to them was the specials, but next to them was an Irish family. And I just became friends on Facebook with the younger kid. He was Vida's age when I was 16. His name was Timmy. Okay. And he had an older brother who was just nuts. Like they had already said that 16,

he had killed somebody, like him and the gizzies hung out, like he hung out with a tough crew that was doing heroin. Wow. Got a girlfriend, Angel and her sister, but two Italian girls that were banging. Do you understand me? Bangin' at 15.

If I was 12, they were 17, 16. Oh yeah, that's a whole. And I'll never forget, we were at the soccer field one day, just minding our own business and we heard like, we looked over a wall and there's Maloney. That was his name, Timmy, and something Maloney brothers.

Yeah. He had an older brother who was crazy wild and people knew not to mess with him. Like he didn't even hang out in our name, but he would just walk past us and look at us like, fuck you kids. Yeah.

Like, you don't know nothing about life. And he was fucking Angel. He had dug out like a trench in the side of the building of the fucking hill. And they were hitting, they were hitting in the stink. And we're up there with him wanting, I'm about pussy, he was hairy as fuck.

He flipped her over and was fucking the doggy style. And we were like 12, our heads were about to blow the fuck up. Like we had never seen this in personally. Yeah, that's crazy. This was like the crazy, this had to be like summer of 75. That was like my craziest summer with those guys.

Like we had a great, great summer. Like that Sam summer of Sam and all those, like one of those summers where it was hot, but I'll never forget that. We looked over and we started giggling like little faggots. And he stopped what he was doing. He was like, who's up there? I'll kill you, you know what?

That dude coming after you. The dog we ran. And then he would see us and he's like, I knew it was you watching this. I'm gonna fucking kill you motherfucker. I'll poke your fucking eyes out. And we would just be like scared. Like, oh my God, Timmy Maloney.

He ended up OD in a couple of years after my mother died. Wow. Then the old man died, but the little guy still, and I finally friended him on Facebook. Timmy. And he told me, I still remember you. He had a dog that the dog would just chase rocks.

And he would throw tons of rocks in the dog's teeth you could see would just char. They didn't have tips from Jesus. Even the dog was tough in that house. The dog was tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember when I got a dog, my dog ran away and killed one of his chickens.

And his dad was gonna kill my fucking dog, Crystal. And he didn't. He was a good man. Wow. It's an amazing 40 years later. You still remember every house, every kid, every dog that your neighbors had.

Like, there's one neighborhood I remember. I remember what people gave out on Halloween from the 80s. Like, oh yeah, they gave out a full can of soda. I remember a certain candy bar. It's weird that you can, those memories last forever. I can't forget them. I mean, they're who I am today. That whole neighborhood, when I look at it now,

it's like I'm on high alert. Like, I have to, I go in, I make a left on, given that terrace, I go up the block, I make a U-turn. I go back down to Pass and Plank Road, and then I make a left on Charles Court. I go a loop, I look at all the houses, and it's like, just, it's like going to therapy. Yeah.

Like, you still see the people playing in front of the house. You see the people walking out of that? Exactly, yeah. It breaks your heart. The hair on my arms is standing up. I did that. Last couple, two. It breaks your fucking heart.

Like, it breaks my heart. Like, you know, all the nooks and crannies, you know? Like that house on the corner, a girl, a lady named Faye lived there, who was hot. If she was 30 for seven, she had two daughters, and she lived on top, and her husband was like 55, but Faye was fucking hot. And she had two French poodles that one of them was blind,

so she would have to walk them across the street in each arm. She would wear hot pants with a halter top, big fake fucking titties in the 70s, and I had it in my mind that Faye had a crush on me. Like, remember when Chubsby, I was gonna be, had a crush on his teacher, and he brought a flop. Miss Crabtree, you don't have to call me Norman.

Yeah, yeah. You call me Chubsy. I was just like that. I'm like, man, she wants me. Like, I had convinced myself that she wanted me. So I set up this plan. How old were you? Maybe 13, maybe 12.

I'm like, I'm banging on her tonight, because she would walk over there about 11, and he would be inside. Usually he'd stay on the balcony and watch us, so nobody could mess with her. At 11, he was old. He'd already be sleeping, so I'd make my move. So when I went, my buddies got nice and hammered,

and they're like, come on, come to a party with us. And I'm like, man, I'm gonna stay home. Fuck that, I was going to get Faye. It was a Saturday night. You put on cologne? Oh, I had cologne on my shirt. It was your night, bro. Dog, if I tell you, I even took a flower,

and I hid in the bushes. Cosby's nephew, I hid in the bushes. It's gonna be a great romance. And she came out to walk the dog with a fucking pair of hot pants on the whole top. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? And I crawled up behind her, like a high-fave. She's like, hi, Coco, how are you?

And I go, Faye, I really want you. And she's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, I really want you. And she's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I go, Faye, I have such a crush on you. And she's like, Coco, you're drunk. You've been drinking. Go home, please, go home.

And I'm like, starting to cry, but I love you and all this shit. And she's like, go home and finally, she goes, all right, I'll let you kiss me. Get out of here. Kiss her on the cheek or something. And then they go, no, I really want to touch your thigh. And I touched like a little bit in between a thigh dog

and my dick blew up like a gaucho. I had a run home with spew coming out of me. I ran up those stairs. I had sperm dripping down my leg. Just from touching a thigh? Oh my God, just from touching a thigh, I came all over myself. Oh God.

It was fucking disgusting. Oh, and I know her son-in-law now. And I told him, we went for breakfast. And I go, I asked Faye if she remembers when I hit on her. Does she? Oh yeah. And she goes, you should come down now and hit on her. Cause she's like 70.

And she tells Bobby every day, Bobby, I'm a warrior of the never. She was, she's still hot. You know, she's still bangable. We went from down and banged. Her own son-in-law tells me from time to time. If you want to bang her, you can still come down. What did her daughters look like when they had to?

Beautiful. In fact, the older daughter took me to get my, when I first got my driving test when I was 17, she drove me to the guy that fucking, I gave you the license for 50 bucks. And I reminded her of that. The youngest sister's name was Kathy. Kathy's life didn't turn out that well.

Kathy was a beautiful girl. We all grew up together. I could still see her face and a cute little Irish. Her name was Kathy Cardinelli, but she looked really Irish, you know? Her sister's Dee Dee. Okay. But Kathy was young, my age.

And we grew up together. I'd never done anything with Kathy, nothing like that. We were like brothers and sisters. And then as we got older, she got lost. She really got lost. She had a relationship and it just didn't end well with some guy and then my friend was banging her. And when I went to Colorado, when I came back,

he goes, she's been asking about it, you go see her. Okay. And I walked into her apartment in Union City, right by the police station, and she had on a leopard suit with like crotchless things. Like I had heard she had become like a sex thing, like something. Yeah.

And I was curious, you know, she had never fucked me. Maybe she'd give me a little stabbing. So she's talking to me. I'm 21 years old. I was in Colorado for eight months. I hadn't seen her in about four years, but we had grown up together. Right.

And it's about 11 o'clock at night, but she tried to blackmail my buddy. My buddy that was fucking her, she tried to blackmail him. But then they became friends afterward. Okay. Right, here's the weirdest thing. They became friends afterward. And he told me she wants to see you.

So he dropped me off, but he didn't come in. He's like, I'm not in the mood to see you. Okay. So I went inside there and she was expecting me. And I went in and we did a couple of lines of coke and we talked, but she kept telling me, hold on, I gotta go to the bedroom. Okay.

And what was going on was she had a guy back there that she was fucking. She would disappear for 20 minutes, suck his dick and then come back and talk to me. And I was like, this is it. That's weird. It was fucking, it was real. It was like one old boogie night scene.

Yeah. And I just left there and never saw again, until about 10 years later, I saw her at the track and she already had HIV. Oh man. And she was really skinny and I was standing with some guys and they're like, stop, don't move. And I go, what's the matter?

They go, Kathy's here. She would go, at the end of 93, she was going to the track and just hustling John's at the track. Oh my God. But 10 bucks, 20 bucks, 15 bucks. So sad. Then they found her in a car or something like that, supposedly.

I'll arrest her so, dead. It is, I was thinking about, I mean, not any as graphic as that, but it's weird. Like, I used to think I was smart in school. Like I did okay, cause I could memorize stuff. And there's people who I thought were idiots, but it's like amazing what growing up can do to you. And like, now suddenly that person who he thought was smart

is still working at the high school job and the person who thought he was an idiot, the doctor somewhere, it's crazy. Like, you spend so much time with those people as kids. Like you think you know them and you think you know where their life is going to go. And people change. I mean, people change.

Yeah. That's fucked up. It's a very weird life. You know, and it's been a great journey. And like comedy. Like I think about kind of like the Tempe this weekend. Like how many times we've been to Tempe, you know? And I mean, you're headlining this weekend.

Yeah. Okay. Think about going there as an opener with Paulie that then 15 years ago. Yeah. How good does it feel like internally? Like you're like, oh my God, I used to come to this club and make $150.

Yeah. Like I used to go to Tempe and pick up $500 for eight shows. Yeah. And I was happy to get that then. With no plane ticket, no nothing. You had to drive yourself from California to Tempe, six hours in a car, or the flight's always been a hundred each way to Tempe.

So you basically made $300 for the week. Yeah. If you went to Tempe, if you drove and had somebody drive you, you could save a hundred bucks. But that's 12 hours of your fucking life. Just pay the extra yardstick and fly. Yeah.

I'm grateful for all of it. Yeah. Like I can't believe like that we were lucky to make this journey. Like I can't believe that. It was you, me, Jim Norton before he hit and Bobby Lee. In Vegas.

In Vegas. This is Jim Norton was just getting on OP and Anthony. Just. Yeah. I think he was still calling into the show then. He was still calling into the show. This is how it started. This is how long I know Steve Simone.

Yeah. That's how long guys. And now you're headlining fucking Denver, South. Yeah. I don't want people to get confused. All they have to do is go to Denver Comedy Works. Yeah. You know, I got a promo code too for tickets.

If they use the promo code nerds, they'll get two for one tickets. And it's Mother's Day weekend. I think they wanted a comedian that, you know, you could bring your mom out to the show. So that makes me feel good. That makes you feel good. It does make me feel good.

And you do. You have, you tell these type of stories only with a cleaner outlook. Last night I went to this thing from dying up here. And some woman came up to me and she goes, you know, you don't know who I am, but we were really looking for you a couple of weeks ago. We wanted you to come to the screening of Andre the Giant.

Oh, wow. The documentary. And I go, you know what? I look like an Andre the Giant, but I wasn't really a big wrestling fan next time. And I gave her your fucking name. Oh, that's astounding. I go, anything wrestling, you call Steve Simone.

And she was laughing. She goes, okay, I didn't know. I don't really know. I know Chief J Strombo and Mr. Fuji and, you know, with the atomic elbow, whatever. Chief J, Roddy Piper told me Chief J Strombo was really Italian. How great to, yeah, his name was Joe Scarpa.

Rod, Roddy Piper was the greatest. He would tell me all the stories. You would have liked him if you two hung out. His name was what? Joe Scarpa. Yeah, look it up. Look it up, Lee. Wikipedia happens to see if that's true.

Chief J Strombo, yeah. That's crazy. I really thought he was a fucking Indian. Yeah. And he used to sing that song. I sang Chief J Strombo. Yeah. Chief J Strombo.

And he also told me that Mr. Fuji was like a gangster. Nobody messed with Mr. Fuji backstage. He told me some crazy stories. Mr. Fuji was really from Hawaii. And he ran stuff. He was, man, I'm serious, man. Oh my God, yeah. What's it say?

His name was Luke Joseph Scarpa. There you go. That is crap. I did not know Chief J Strombo. That's fucking bullshit. That's fucking bullshit. I fucking hate when Indians play fake. What's it say, Lee?

I can't read from here, though. He dead? Joe Scarpa, yeah. Let's see, yeah, he died in 2012. He was 83. Wow. Luke Joseph Scarpa, born in 1928, was a wrestler better known by his ring

named Chief J Strombo. He portrayed a Native American wrestler who wore a war bonnet to the ring and would go on the war path when fans started. I can't even, like, that would never be allowed now. That's like the most racist thing. Is wrestling allowed to be racist? It's not any good now.

This was great. This kind of wrestling was the greatest. Mr. Fuji used to throw rice in your eyes. He blows salt in your eyes. He blows salt in your eyes. And they would say, like, oh, he's Pearl Harbouring. I'm like, they're so racist, so racist. 70s, 80s wrestling was great.

And he used to throw rice into the audience or something. He did something. Yep. Oh, my God. Steve Simone, you're a trip with this shit. Jesus, look at that. He did it for 30 years. 55 to 85.

55 to 85. Wow. I remember him in the early 70s. Nevermind fucking 55 to 85. Yep. Jesus Christ. I remember him in the 80s. He was still wrestling. The 80s, I was doing drugs.

I don't know what was going on. I don't know about right-to-wrestling. It was quick. I didn't fucking know they even wrestled anymore. I knew nothing, you know what I'm saying? But no, it's just really weird. I brought you on today. I wanted to talk about forgiveness

because you're Catholic. It's everything you believe in. I really believed in it. And I thought that he would show up, but he didn't. So, and I haven't heard from him. So now I'm just gonna take it for what it is. You know what I'm saying? That's the gift, right?

You forgive somebody else, so hopefully you can forgive yourself, you know? And that's, I mean, we believe that's in our creed. I believe in the forgiveness of sins. To trust God's mercy. You know, that's funny because I took the bicycle to Charles Court that day and I laid it down and I was playing.

The one that Valentine gave me. Yeah. And I was just playing and I left the bike down and that girl that was dry humping went over and got on the bike. Oh, after Valentine, the handlebars bike? The handlebars, so she got on the bike. So she was going downhill already.

And me and my friends went around the other way to catch her. And as we ran to catch her, she went to turn on to a sidewalk and the thing stuck and she went over and landed on the head. And then that night she got rushed to the hospital because she had a blood clot in her brain.

Dear God. And she lived and she ended up okay, but you know, I went over and apologized for the bike and she goes, no, I know I had nothing to do with you, but now in today's world, she's angry at me. Like she won't friend me on Facebook. You know, then somebody bumped into her and said, you know, he's trying, he's looking for you.

She's like, I don't want to talk to him again. He fucked me up when I was a kid. Nobody fucked her up, man. Then we were kids, we were fucking playing. I never, you know, I live with that shit, but. I think however people feel about themselves, that's how they treat others. Does that make sense?

I don't think it has anything to do with you. Maybe she hasn't had the life she wanted to live, you know? You got a point, brother. How does confession work? I have no idea. It's the greatest thing in the world. So if you say it and they do what they say, you're forgiven?

Yeah, that's pretty cool. Well, it's pretty much like our faith is that Jesus died. He took, he paid the bill that we could never pay. Oh, okay. So when you confess, it's sort of like, you're acknowledging where you went wrong. And the Jews killed him, even though he paid the bill. That's when you know things are bad, you know what I'm saying?

Even though he covered the spread. Covered the spread. The fucking Jews still came and stabbed him and fucking. The Romans killed him. It was the Guineas. It was the Guineas. Next thing you know, he's fucking taking pictures on the cross, fucking poor guy.

Anyway, don't forget to see my little brother, Steve Simone, this weekend. Our comedy works south. I got Dick going on, I'm home. Like I said, May 26th, you get the fucking Ice House workout. We got a special announcement coming soon for you motherfuckers.

And that's it, and that's that. Life still goes on, it was the same. What's up, Lee? Steve Simone's doing my show on the 15th. Oh, that's right. At the Sycamore Tower. Sycamore Tower. I got Christina Piziski, we got Theo Vaughn.

So that's next Tuesday night. Tuesday night, yeah. Oh, that's great. Send me a fun show. You better hope we don't have a podcast. Well, let's hope not. Because we're looking at Tuesday night. I forgot, he just called me for Tuesday night.

So, it's always tremendous. So that's the way to end the show, you know what I'm saying? Oh, another one. You're for lunch, Joey. I had shrimp creole or some shit. It's last night, I went to that fucking, I'm dying up here party, you know. How was the food?

The food was, you know, I didn't, me and my wife had the dinner, and then we went there just in case the food sucks. Yep, smart. But there were finger food. It was like pigs in a blanket. I love that. They had these little, what's the pizza?

With just the plain, like cheese and sauce. They call it salad. Like a tomato pie? Yeah, margarita. Margarita. They had that little margarita. They were like a 50 cent piece. I'm about to eat 32 fucking thousand.

Oh my God, I was eating them. They had little tamales. It was nice. It was nice seeing Cheeto. It was nice seeing Eric Griffin. Yeah, they're good guys. I love those kids. Eric came in later on.

I don't say nothing to nobody. Talk to nobody. Yeah. The person said hello to me. Nobody really talked to me. Two people. Yeah. I just talked to my wife the whole fucking night.

It's nice to be invited. It's nice to get out. Yeah, they talked to me and I fucking went and... That's it. That's how you do it. I usually don't go to those things, but it was a Monday night. I got a baby so that I took the wife out on a date.

It's great. Yeah, it's nice. And sometimes you need to do that just to fucking loosen up the house. Are you gonna go to Mitzi's thing on Sunday? I'm not sure yet. I'm not good at fuels. I know.

Especially, I want to go. I've already made my peace with it. Yeah. So it's just how I feel on Sunday. Yeah. That's all it is right now. Yeah. It's just how I feel on Sunday.

I think we're gonna have to. It's Mother's Day. We're gonna have to Uber down there. There's no parking lot. No parking. So Uber's gonna be all over the comedy stores. So I'm not sure yet. You know, you can't bring plus one.

I know. It's gonna be 700 people. So the main room is gonna be the old school and the original room is gonna be the young guys. Yeah. And then they're gonna have the belly room going too. And the belly room going too. And they're gonna have tents outside.

700, 800 people. I know. I get social anxiety around fucking three people at comedy shows. I got anxiety on stage in Tempe last Thursday and I had anxiety at that. Yeah. I'm not getting into like,

I had to switch my flight to fly in for it, but I'm still not gonna be able to get there till like 10 o'clock at night. Starts at 7.30. I figure by then most of the people will be cleared out. I'll see Pauly as brothers, hopefully. Pay my respects. And I'm gonna go straight from the airport to there.

And then home. And Ari's coming in the town. Yeah, he just called. Yeah, he's staying at my place. I'm looking forward to it. I think he's getting in Saturday when I'm in Denver. Okay. So he's gonna be staying at my place.

Well, man, I'm happy you came on tonight. Thank you. I love you. Those stories were the best. I was feeling guilty about the Vella thing. And I know you'd make me feel a little better, but that's it. He just doesn't want to be my friend.

I have to accept it and move on. I made my apology. I truly. See, you've amended your life there. Yeah, no, I had to. See, that's the point of confession, though, Lee. If I don't fucking do this shit, it's gonna eat me alive. I got three more things I gotta do.

Now you have to let it go, though, because God forgave you. Now you have to learn how to forgive yourself. And then that's it. You move forward as a different person. Does that make sense? That's everything. Makes a lot of sense.

Nobody's perfect. All right, don't forget Tuesday, the second more tab and don't forget May 20. I mean, we got a lot of dates here, but most importantly, Steve Simone at Comedy Works out. I love you guys. Have a great fucking weekend. And I'll see you guys tip top.

Magoo next Monday, ready to fucking rock. Stay black. Have a great weekend. And you know, I love you motherfuckers. Kick this mule, Lee. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. This the 10 crack commandments, why? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

They can't tell me nothing about this car. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Can't tell me nothing about this crack. This weed, my hustle and niggas. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Niggas on the corner. I ain't forget you niggas. My triple big niggas.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. They can't tell me nothing about this crack. I've been in this game for years. It may be your animals, rules to this shit. I wrote me a manual, a step-by-step booklet for you to get your game on track. Not your wig pushed back. Room number uno, never let no one know how much dough

you hold, because you know. Let's try to breathe jealousy, especially if that man fucked up, get your ass stuck up. Number two, never let them know your next move. Don't you know bad boys move in silence and violence, take it from your eyes. I done squeezed mad clips at these cats for they bricks and chips.

Number three, never trust nobody. Your mom's a set that ass up, properly gassed up. Hoodie the mad stuff, for that fast fuck. She be layin' in the bushes to light that ass up. Number four, know you heard this before. Never get an eye on your own supply. Number five, never sell no crack where you rest at. I don't care if they want to oust, tell them bouts.

Number six, that goddamn credit, get it. You think a crackhead paying your back, forget it. Seven, this rule is so underrated. Keep your family, your business completely separated. Money and blood don't mix like two dicks and no bitch. Find yourself in serious shit. Number eight, never keep no weight on you. Them cats that sweep your guns can hold jumps too.

Number nine, should have been number one to me. If you ain't getting back, they the fuck for police. If niggas think you're snitching, they ain't trying to listen. They be sittin' in your kitchen, waiting to start it. And number three, a strong word called consignment. Strictly for live men, not for freshmen. If you ain't got the clientele, say hell no. Cause they gon' want their money when sleep, hell no.

Follow these rules, you have mad bread to break up. If not 24 years on the wake up, slug hit your temple. Watch your friends shake up, caretaker did your makeup. When you pass, your girl fuck my man, Jacob. Her the three weeks, she sniffed a whole half a cake up. Her, she suck a good dick and can hook a steak up. Gotta go, gotta go, more pasta, bake up, word out. One, one, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, two, four, three, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, ten, ten. One, one, two, two, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight, nine, eight大的には運算