Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #588 - Sin Quirin

Episode Date: May 29, 2018

Sin Quirin, a grammy nominated guitar player who plays and writes for the band "Ministry" as well as multiple other musical projects, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first THREE meals for free.    FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.     Recorded live on 05/28/2018.


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Some me some little Chinese go brother to his house nice and I understand me kick that fucking meal. Lee Happy Memorial Day, whatever the fuck it is Stand up for the fucking troops in the flag cock suck Here we go the church of what's happened now Digging it Start your Tuesday with a fucking kid here we go. Oh shit Are you fucking kidding me or what? It's a church of what's happened now cock suckers You don't know where to start

Break that lock on your heart You don't know You're the kiss of death Yeah It's the church of what's happened now cock suckers Take this mule. It's over We got sin quirin in the fucking house of ministry. Hey, we got the Christ killer here Hello, we got the drummer for ministry sitting on the sidelines here a nice gentleman. He don't say much

I like when people don't say much I don't know nothing. It's a good drummer. He isn't talk about motherfucking No, you don't need to talk just play the drum our drummers like the the punters of the football team No, no, the pump is control the fucking game Yeah, but some of them drive you crazy the best ones are the ones that just drum just shut the fuck up and drum There's a line of coke. Keep drumming. There's Red Bull and milk do what you need to do Yeah, and get your head together. This is my excuse in the freezer What's going on brother that is my problem and here's what people don't know but I'm honest about it sometimes somebody calls me

They go hey, man, we got this guy's an interesting cat and You know, I Wikipedia and Wikipedia a shit. It's like a background. It's like me coming back to you Oh, so Joe, you got arrested for burglary here in 87. You know what it gives a fuck, right? But once you start following people and you see them in action, you're the coolest motherfucker out there I appreciate that Rudy was cool Rudy is cool as fuck. You must one day you swap and spit at the Grammys Then the next day you pop up with a mandolin And you're on stage couple chubby chicks are fainting in front of you like the Beatles when they first got over the Kennedy

Yeah, the couple chubby chicks the tattoos those little chubby chicks in concerts. They suck thick they stop eating They intermittent fast. They go to those things in guitars. Oh my god. They don't give a fuck those little chubby girls a tattoo I love you and shit at the shows that you're a minute fast. Oh, they intermittent fast They drink and they get fucked up and then somebody's gonna get hurt. You understand me. Yeah, it's been interesting It's been interesting. It's been an interesting road. And yeah, I mean thank God that you know People still show up and and give a fuck, you know what I'm doing and what the bands are doing and shit But you know how it is man on the road. It's it's crazy man. You see all kinds of shit out there But it's it's a great lifestyle when you live in

Your grandmother's basement You find the job that covers the spread. Yep, you know when you there's nothing like being 19 to 23 and just living or 29 so this is a complete this is a complete different disaster 1923 is the fucking oh, yeah, absolutely especially if you just said fuck college. Yeah, I'm gonna play the guitar I'm gonna get a job at a hardware store. Yeah, and go see bands at night four nights a week You know, whatever the fuck you do like I grew up with guys that that was their lifestyle That's still their lifestyle today. Yeah, I don't condemn it at all. Yeah, they have a great time But to go see bands

Four or five nights a week, you know, that's heavy duty. That's a lot of dough Yeah, that's a lot of drugs during the week. Yeah, there's some nights you they get off stage 1130 You go right home. Yeah, and you get up and you deliver towels. Whatever the fuck it is that you do just to co-exist Yeah, it's such a complete different happiness And then one day life starts getting serious your grandpa tells you you're a fucking sack of shit You got a move out of 23. He was killing fucking Japanese people 23 I was stabbing Japanese people. I wasn't a hitler. I wasn't a hitler fucking nut. You know, I'm saying saying juice Oh

Like a bar more than like, oh my god, I'm gonna hut I met a fucking dude that was talking loud one day like y'all and I couldn't handle it back then like I was This was way before comedy. No, I'll me his numbers on his arm and shit. I drunk yeah I'm bar. He was drunk one night this guy. Yeah, he was telling me he was one of the hitlers Hudson What they do to you there, you know, that's a fucking nightmare when you get those people livin in concert You give one of those poor Jews to bottles a man of sheriff's they take you to murky waters You gotta do 18 a balls just to co-exist you go home more depressed and watch an eyewitness news This is 40 minutes of fire. Oh my god. I'd never seen that before Wow

I still remember the bar in New York not the name and where the first time I met a Holocaust survivor Who was hammered? He was hammered. Yeah, they rewrite the behind Yeah, if he didn't have the numbers on his arms. I would he had everything like now Down and you know, I was listening to his story. I started getting sad Like it just reminded me of everything bad in my fucking life. Sure. I don't even know how we talked about Holocaust survivors What fucking I guess ends up on Holocaust Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. This is this is not good. This is no bueno I think it was a cross killer thing. I think I don't know. I think how we don't need other books no more on the show

Now at least we're coherent We're coherent at least we do two three bomb hits everybody's fucking happy that those those edibles are killed people keep Keep going. Oh, Joe. You lost so much weight cuz I stopped eating edibles Eat now, but you go home at like you just lose control. Yeah, like I was sitting there one night thinking about how I used to kill that Refrigerator my wife would buy those packages of salami. Yeah, she's like, oh last two or three days. No, they won't I would kill those packages I would kill the whole package of salami and half the package of American cheese damn two bags of popcorn three bags of popcorn graham crackers You know, and you start light like you you lie to yourself. Yeah, I got a yogurt with strawberries

And some fucking nuts whether those yeah, I'm being healthy. You start with that Yeah, then it was just I just go into the worst foxhole of my life So I stopped with the edibles and I lost 30 fucking That's how much wow how much those edibles when you stop Gradually But they weren't that strong the edibles I am more for the flavor this guy This guy, I know makes a fucking beef jerky An edible with a layman yarn. Oh, he said and his wife is tie must I tell you anymore? Wow fucking dopes it up

He says there's like a hundred milligrams per package per ounce. Mm-hmm. You know yesterday two packages I had to kill them all my weight watcher points. Yeah, I had these weight watcher points left over. So I might as well kill I use them here. I walked around a little bit yesterday. So let me kill this jerky just to see what it does to me Fuck it was good. I Passed out two hours in the afternoon. Nice. That's how I took a nap. You stopped to we Mostly I did I was telling you guys before the podcast. I There's been been a couple times where I get too high and it's not even because that happens every time with me is you How many stars a GT night when you thought you were low potassium only two. Yeah, that's it. We're done our tolerance

Our tolerance was so high sin. It was I were taking 1600. It was ugly light night It was really a little while because there was a what time I was just poisoning Wow, like I would get them in the afternoon and get the 180 the chibichu Uh-huh, and I would take the wrapper off the 180 and put it in a 60 Tell him it was a 60 and he would eat half of it and it was really 90 and He would get fucked up and then there was a cookie that was really 200 But I told him it was a hundred he did half of it. So I was building this town. It's a he has no idea That's one word for it. Oh my god. I can't you're in training. Oh, yeah, then we did the last nothing

Oh, we got we did the liquid acid. We did both condensate. Why not I put fucking a little heroin dust in the bomb And you should have seen them go So what was it that you gave? What was it that you gave Polly shore unedible just a little Because he just he didn't even have the whole thing. No that star is strong and he like is that really fuck Yeah, at that time those stars was still like these are stars. You're eating old too. Yeah, you put them in the freezer That's six months. Oh, we haven't gotten a star here. Oh, yeah, they might be longer than that older than that So they're really concentrated now. They'll take you to it. It's like eating like a next

That's it. It's like eating like a viking. That's two years old. You're finally got old yet surgery like in And you fucking find the viking. Yeah, let me see if this shit works. Okay, that shit works dog It will work. It will have you burping and shit like that, but who gives a fuck Oh my god. Yes, and you're like just a fucking You know, man, you look at a guy and you Play some of the band in your head You think he has this weird lifestyle. Have you yet? Seen Steven Tyler. I'm Joe Rogan. I did I did I did watch that

You know, I I dug it. I think Steven. I mean, he's a character. He's the real deal He's the real like he's not there's no Yeah, it's not an act. No, no, no, no, no, that is him and I mean, we played we played with aerosmith last June at the download festival in the uk And I mean we you know, we get to see a different side of that we get to see a lot of the behind the scenes stuff But he I had a great time watching that podcast Joe's podcast with Steven because he's just so the dude's like on 11 constantly and he's such a like

eccentric dude But it's not an act. It's not fake. It's really who he is Like he's really going a thousand miles an hour constantly and that really is how he lives his life Like he's constantly he's everywhere. When he wrote his time when he read his timeline No, dude, dude, and we can play him. Yeah, I know. I know his schedule is like it's it was ridiculous It's insane. Yeah, I wish that's my schedule at 70. Yeah, right. You wish that's your schedule at 70 years old, dude And he does not do his schedule. I don't know if you saw that podcast or not He was like going down like his his it's definitely you're done. You're done. It is like every hour

He's got like pretty much something going on and he's traveling. He's flying. He's like going everywhere red eyes Yeah, yeah 70 red. I think I'm 55. I take a red arm crush for three fucking days Yeah, it was amazing to watch dude. It really was you know when you Give him meat like a band that you like And you start talking to the singer and he's not the sharpest tool in the fucking shed constantly Oh my god, this and then the bass player is just as goofy. Oh, yeah And then there's one guy in the band that's like a five beta kappa. Yeah, this motherfucker knows everything And you could tell he's the one that does everything for the band. Yeah

When I was looking at Stephen Tyler, this is what I kept thinking about like I remember walking to see caucus New jersey Summer of 76 or 77 To see journey Aerosmith and Ted Nugent

Wow And I can't even tell you the undercard the undercard was like frank marino and mahogany rush Poco damn it was just it was just an all-day festival one of those 12 o'clock. Yeah Aerosmith is taking the stage at seven And I gotta tell you something right now The band I was excited like my friends were excited for Ted I was more excited for Aerosmith. I was a fan of at that time. I was a fan of rocks And the one with big ten inch on it toys in the attic

I don't even know what the fuck I was a fan of yeah, but I wasn't a fan of get your wings yet Okay, all right. That's the second that right that became my all-time favorite. I went down there And Aerosmith was so fucking bad Journey was amazing journey to miss a note Aerosmith went up ten fell apart at the seams everybody else was everybody else is great Then they broke the guitar like for no reason you didn't do nothing to excite me to break the fucking guitars and shit And then Ted went on and just destroyed Ted was in this prime right 76 77 prime that you know

I remember walking home and feeling bad for Aerosmith, but going back to see them Like I went back to see them some other time and just as bad No, just as bad like when they released nine at the ruts a little bit before nine at the ruts And then they released nine at the ruts and they fell apart Joe Perry left Brad Whitford left right and I went to see him again But now guys it wasn't the stadium And it wasn't the theater in the city It was the same bars that twisted sister

Holy shit and all these people were playing it was called the soap factory in richfield park or failure park one of those parks New jersey. Yeah, and he was Really, I mean the tickets were like 12 bucks or something damn And it was him with the new guitar playing the new bass player And they were just fucking he was high Wow And what I remember the most from that night is there was a guy standing in front of me and he was nodding on heroin And he kept having a cigarette in his hand, but it was 1977 76

78 and it was the age of the halter top Only old people know what that is a halter top is a tube That a woman gets into and she doesn't wear a bra and that that tube and the tits would be banging You'd see the nipples, but the back would be exposed. Yeah So every time this junkie would nod I'd push him into the girl And he would burn her back with a cigarette And the girl would turn around and haul off and smack the guy This went on like eight times. He burned a different broad

Girls would go. Jesus christ. She was curvy and they would move and every time the guy nod I'd push him into a broad and he gets smacked again This went on with the warm-up act For like 30 minutes. Then we had a wait for aerosmith to set up And we started doing it again. I started pushing the guy again Finally on one of those nods. He just fell Out of people started stepping on them. I mean there were violent jersey crowd They were stepping on them. He never said stop pushing me nothing. He didn't even know

He would know where the fuck he was dog. He would fall asleep and get into a crouched position right there I would just bump into him Like nothing happened he would fall over and burn the girl with the cigarette And then the girl would wake him up smack him He would straighten up. All right. I won't smoke two minutes later. There he is my back out again And me and my buddy would be eyeballing him until he nods. We'd watch him nod Push him into the chick burn him This went on and then finally he passed out and people started kicking him. Oh my god

Aerosmith takes the stage Stephen Tyler is up there. He's fucking done. He's skinny You can see it. He was like shit. Yeah, they're done. They're done Wow, you knew they were done. This has to be 79 80. Yeah Done and brother it ended up with him getting punched in the face 20 times and him running off stage Holy fuck and that was it. Aerosmith was done. Wow. Aerosmith was done. I'm in colorado three years late in a hotel With a chick and I'm watching MTV And MTV news goes up to Boston

And they go over in high school where rumors are reporting that Aerosmith is getting back together again Yeah And they went through rehabs and they're all and then they couldn't show them It it's show like them cutting through a glass and trying to get a peek at Aerosmith rehearsing And you could hear them. Wow And that was it Aerosmith released an album called done with mirrors. That was hot garbage hot garbage. It came out 85 Maybe it was just hot garbage. They had a song that Joe Perry had written called

It was the name of his album Who knows it was just a god awful album And then run DMC comes into the picture Does walk this way and they get fucking a life resurgence They ended up making one money what they did on the first fucking turnaround because now they knew what they were doing That brought them back that brought them back big time and right there when i'm watching tyler on rogan I'm seeing this all this is coming back to me going This is the reason why yeah, look at him. He's 70 years old

And he's a fucking savage. Yeah, he never gave up And even when they were talking about doing ayahuasca and he goes i would never do it because of that trigger Right, that means you're very you know who the fuck you are exactly takes years to really find out who the fuck you are I'm not going down because i'm gonna smack somebody and that dude survived it man I mean he's been through it all And he's still standing and I think I mean he's he's sharper than ever right now You know he's um More coherent

And more on top of it than he was back in the day dude because he they went through some fucked up times Where they were just I mean I've seen that firsthand with a lot of my friends and it's not pretty You know, it's not it's not pretty to watch that and to see somebody Talented who is just on the brink of just fucking completely losing everything and he drops in your life Never Really? No man want to know alcohol never smoked never drank never done any drugs Aside from when i'm in hospital

But that's about it You happy you with the very decision that decision was always a good one. Yeah, and it's I mean, you know, I I don't um I don't you know look down on anyone for doing anything. I don't judge anyone for anything It just worked for me And there's no real reason behind it other than I was just never curious about it. That's like really the reason Mom dad drugs. No they No, I mean my dad would would have a few beers a year

Um, they didn't smoke they didn't do any drugs. Um, so I never really saw that but I mean, you know Growing up in a with mexican, you know relatives. I mean all my uncles. I mean typical, you know Mexican family just uncles always hammered and and you know was a something I grew up with and saw but It never it just never interested me I was honestly too focused on music from the time I was six years old because that's when I realized this is what I was going to do um I honestly had just tunnel vision and I didn't I saw what it was doing to some of my friends Who just didn't have any control?

And we're just going off the deep end and it kind of like made me think fuck, you know If I do that I'm gonna end up like that and I'm gonna lose focus on what I'm here to do And I mean I knew at an early age that this is what you know, I was gonna try to do How old were you when you knew music was six? Six you knew I knew when I heard kiss alive That was it man. I was the record that did it for me at that point. I was like When I heard kiss alive, I

Honestly, I remember telling my cousin who was five years older than me who played it for me I remember telling him this that's what I'm gonna do like this is what I'm gonna do And that was honestly, I mean the the my own has been my only focus since then So that's a that's a big part of why I guess I didn't do anything because like I honestly felt like if I do that I'm gonna I'm just gonna have no control and just you know end up going off the deep end What was the first instrument you picked up guitar at uh, I was like 10 And then what did you move on to always stayed on the guitar?

But I mean I thought you play the bass and yeah, but I taught myself how to play the bass I played some drums I taught myself keyboards I played the saxophone All through junior high and high school and I was fucking dude I was in a marching band and I was in the fucking I was like a total band geek in school And so I played the sax for six years and and shit like that and But the guitar has always been my main instrument

You know, I read an article after you were on the show the first time I hate when somebody comes on the show And I find out so much more about them afterward. There was an article you did an interview Your writing process Like I didn't know you were grabbing nominated all this shit, you know There was just so many little things I didn't know about you and I felt ashamed Yeah, man, but once I got to see like I'm the man knowing and all that stuff that you know, whatever you're the fucking man Yeah, I was picking all up dude. Yeah, it's just you're an interesting fucking

You know, man, nobody's interesting anymore. Like people if they are interesting They're faking the funk to me. Yeah, you know, people think they're interesting when they talk politics and they show you how smart they are Right, you could tell how fucking ignorant they are. You know, you're like, this is what you want to talk about It's on the news every night from six to six forty eight. Exactly. I need this shit in my life from you, you know So it's weird when somebody's genuinely interesting from the heart that you go. Fuck Send us that I appreciate you know, I love when I find little shit not about people like now All right, steven. Tyler when you see a guy like steven. Tyler. Yeah, you look at the other guy pirate of the caribbean

Johnny Depp and he's a fucking fake in the funk Right the fucker. Totally like if you can't tell by seeing that right and you see, you know, like that's the first person I thought of Because I've seen him walking around. It's a big, you know, he's been living in this fantasy Johnny. Yeah for 25 Yeah, it's almost dude when when I see people like that And not just him but like other people it's almost like They're putting on a costume or something and they want to like Play that role and you can see the difference. I mean, and that's a great Comparison there between steven and him you see steve. You get the sense that steven

That's no outfit. That's no costume. That is that's who he is And then you see other guys like that and you're like, yeah, you know that that guy was like, okay What am I gonna wear today? What am I gonna put on to try to make people think I'm this or you know, give them that perception that I'm You know, uh, a certain way when Truly, they're not It was a hollywood party by mistake And you're in there six minutes I have and you're asking yourself

What the fuck yeah, I have and the like for me First I asked myself that question But then it's the second question. You know what that question is Maybe not even a question the statement that comes out of my brain is maybe it's you that's fucked up So now I turn into lee on two edibles I stand there with my foot on the wall. I have fucking going through an anxiety attack Asking myself why I'm not like these people right how come I couldn't wear an orange shirt and Put grease in my hair right and come down here with an entrance and make believe I'm somebody I'm not I'm right

Why can I do that? I went like I said, I went to this I'm dying up here put me in a few episodes and they invited me to like this party They invited me to the rap party and stuff. I was out of town You know when somebody puts you in a few episodes Jesus christ, the least you could do is show up wave They had little finger food and I could bring a guest. All right, so let me take my wife out on the date It's a monday night. I killed two birds with one stone Number two will stop and get cuban food right because the thing is in hollywood right So we'll kill that fucking need to get some black beans and rice

And I do it right and then we go to a party at the food sucks. You're not sitting there going on the food sucks You knew the food was gonna say right they're fucking geeky fucking white people in hollywood What do you think they're gonna give you? You know mango wrapped, right? You know lava whatever Where's the cheese burgers? Where's the fucking steak? How about mode? Where's the vodka? You know, but you get there and they have something completely different, you know, right? We have uh, what's the new thing those french fries they give you travel fries? No the other ones that the sweet potato You come with me with a sweet potato french fry. We're gonna have a fucking problem. All right Don't bring a sweet potato one. I agree with you on

They had pizza that weren't bad, but right away. We have goat milk goat cheese pizza Why can't it just be regular mutton l pizza? Yeah, give me the one with the regular cheese. No, we don't have it Then they bought wings with how we won't eat out no more. Yeah, because they're just nasty No, we'll make some where they like pigeon wings or something. Yeah, they're like pigeon wings You know, if you're gonna eat a wing go to buffalo take this bucket with the note attached. Yeah on there, dude Yeah, then you bro. I saw something out there that was creepy as shit I saw them finally watch the grill at 7 11 yet That ices grill that ices fucking juice that comes out of those hamburgers

That poor little hindu is behind there holding his eyeballs and shit those fumes from those hot dogs They're not hot dogs those those things will kill you The only hot dogs that are good are the oscar maya ones right? I think they took out And fucking just put regular ices brought dogs now stretch out of the philippines They got fucking dog noodles and eyeballs at them and shit They got everything have those have you looked in those little see-through fucking croquettes they have No, I haven't like go to 7 11 and stand online Just to look at what's in there and just play guess what's in there

Guess the food guess what's in that fucking wrap you could see it's coming right through Like if you eat that you will fucking take an ambulance ride 1800 Do you think that going back to the uh the people who kind of fake the funk? Do you think they go home and they're someone different or do you think they've just turned themselves when they go home? They fucking cry You think so they go home and cry You think johnny dev is crying they go home and cry some part of their life has to be dark because they really can't be where they want to be

That's a weird thing for some people having to go home You know people who actually go out then go. Hmm. What can I attach myself to? Maybe I'll attach myself to gay people hang out with gay people And that looks cool because I hang out with gay people make me fucking cool. I read right through it No Then there's the people one day go, you know what I think I'm like become a rocker if you're not a rocker in high school You're never gonna be a rocker I knew you were a rocker chick when you were 16. There's a chick on facebook

I've been talking to a door, you know a daughter's aspiring. So I've been going back and forth with her She was a rocker in high school. Yeah when she when we were 16 She was sucking 18 19 year old dick. Somebody played the bass In the band, you know, and I was a madder. I ain't mad that she's getting quality dick at fucking 15 blowing the guy in the town She's getting into the fucking bars on the 21. Yeah, but still i'm not madder. That's what you do You're into bands, but she's a stoner these chicks now that just wear like, you know Like when they have those concerts now and uh the desert Now the

What you know what it is. It's rich kids who go buy a shirt. They don't know nothing about the band Nothing nothing. They've never you know, uh big thing that happened last week was they were talking about how your boy Nine-inch nails did something this year for this tour He fucking made people go down and buy the tickets physically And stand that line away from the commit no fucking online ticket sales Wow Because he wanted to bring it back to the old school and I like that I'm like, you know what bro? That sounds like a ballsy fucking move. That slows your fans off

But no it doesn't it makes your real fans Yeah time into you But that you know that the tickets are still Now they're uh, dude, they're they're i'm sure they're online and like they're already, you know, nine-inch nails Yeah, yeah somebody. Yeah, it's different to stand that line. It's a lot easier If I tell you to be a scalper and you have to just buy 20 chunks online Go stand down there and show your face. It's kind of creepy. Yeah, so I think in a way It's yeah, well, I remember that's what it was like back in the day

Yeah, like you had to go to the fucking box office and like I mean, that's what we did How old are you now? 49 So you I still do I remember back in the 70s. Dude. That's what I used to do man I still remember sending the check-in a money order So you could order four tickets. Yeah, yeah Okay, you could order four tickets so ministry was playing in Thursday, friday saturday

Me you and lee would get together. He would send in a check for thursday. I'd send in a check for friday You send the check in for saturday. We're partners on the deal. Yeah Well, we might get thursday and saturday, which will take yeah, but at least we've got a chance So now we're definitely going god forbid all three of us get tickets and we go thursday friday saturday It was the treat back then, right? So you had the mail, but then you also had standing online Pink Floyd the wall. I went right to tick a trunk $15 and 50 cents I can take a trunk. You know the other day any trunk was talking about how you the guy would turn around and go into a card file

Yeah, I show you what seats were available. Right. Right. I remember I had goosebumps and any trunk was talking about Oh my god, I used to go to this place called things from england It's still there cliffside park, new jersey. If you didn't want to go to the garden He would have the tickets. He tried you a little big. Yeah 10 bucks For going into the city. It was worth it. Yeah, you went and got me tickets for 10 bucks ago Yeah, I'll pay the 20. Yeah, I could go over there stand like an animal and pay the toll and Play hooky and get caught and get robbed and go to a peep show. But you know what fucking Maybe get blown. Yeah

Call it a day I would never get blown in at that age. Like I was trying to get my dick sucked At 12 13 like everybody's trying to get their dick sucked. We would go to a little strip club, right right off of It was right in manhattan right off Broadway. They didn't give a fuck how old you were back. Yeah Like they just didn't give a fuck. Yeah And I remember them calling us in and you could sit on the girls lap and our job was to just feel them up as much as we could So the tab came and then because then the girls always would go Would you buy me a drink and while you're waiting for the drink you're feeling the tits

You're like 13. You're like a barracuda. You got hands all over them. You're like cosby times 18 You're like cosby with harvey and the girls never said like hey Nothing that you're grabbing that pussy then the drink comes and it's like 40. You're like, I ain't got 40 Get the fuck out of here. You just felt her up Fingered I get it really finger you finger it through the jeans and when you're 13, that's that's good enough for me I wouldn't wash my hands for two three days If I put my hand between your crotch and I got some of that pussy juice at a strip club What a disgusting these women were disgusting

Disgusting I was no fucking prize catch either. I was 13 with a half a bozo head do on my dick The top was empty, but the sides were full. Who wants to suck a 13 year old dick? Nobody wants to suck a 13 year old dick 14 maybe once you get that hair you got one of those school teachers to suck your dick or a fucking babysitter I never got a babysitter to suck my dick One time when I was like six I had a Puerto Rican babysitter. I asked her to suck my dick. She told me she'd suck my dick At six. Oh my god. I went and took a shower and everything. I hated showers when I was six Hated I'm hated. I'm get ready for oh, I put cologne on I put a gold chain on

That's it. I put some underwear on I went back to my room. You're good underwear in a robe My name was Dita and she was Puerto Rican I fucking she went back in the room and blew on my stomach But I gave her like a bag full of chain. She told me for the small 20. She would suck my dick Really? So I gave her like a bag full of dick. You didn't pay for a blowjob and coins. Please tell me. Yes, I did and she took it And she told me that was it. I'm like listen though, you know, I'm gonna fucking kill you And that morning I think my whole life for that till this fucking day I think whatever I think about this. It's what I'm gonna playground with my daughter. I'm looking at it

I must have been I must have been six six and a half damn And I remember like waking my mom up that morning like mama I gotta talk to you and my mom putting on the sandals, you know hungover right poor denora hungover as fuck You know, she just walked in at 3 30 the bar closes at 3 Right people living in new york city. She used to get home at a quarter to four for that And I would wake her up like it's 7 30 and make me breakfast and And go off on her about whatever happened the night before with the babysitter That poor woman. I'll never forget her making me like

Eggs or something. I don't know what she would make for breakfast in those days that I would eat And me looking at her going this I gotta talk to you about some And she's like a person like oh listen, I gave tea the 20 bucks last night In coins. I got my mom la pinga, you know, I was trying to tell her in english right to loosen the pain Right, and I didn't really know that much english. So I'm like mom. I gave tea the 20 bucks to give me a blow job, you know to suck my dick and my mom could get what are you saying? But of course, Antonio

Get what are you saying? No, like what are you talking about? I'm like, man The person It's just a little more la pinga. My mom's like, are you fucking cray? It's Quarter eight And you're talking about getting a dick. You were six years old. I'm like, that's the point She told me she was gonna suck my and I'm going off in spanish. Yeah And my mom's like, you're not saying this to me at the fucking

7 30 in the morning that this poor babysitter and then she woke her up I did I gotta look at the button. What's he saying? And she's like, he asked me for a blow job And I told him I took his money. That's not the way they talk to a lady and my mom's like, I agree And I'm like, I'll kill the right fucking down in her sleep and they were scared of me like at that time My mom knew I was dead. My dad had died. I was like, I had an head with a flashlight With a lunchbox. I was going off the fucking rail. It was taking karate and shit So my mom knew I was serious. I go if you don't give me the 20 I was right now and fucking stab it tomorrow night You know what? I'm gonna give you the 20. Don't talk to her no more. Just stay the fuck away from me

I didn't talk to that bitch for like a year. Wow. She took my 20. Yeah Damn, oh, yeah Anything like that ever happened to you Lee? No, no, I can't I like where were you gonna get a knife? When you talk, I just imagine you like I'm like on top of the table with a good knife like yelling at your mother in spanish Oh yelling at her for the top of my lungs She better give me my fucking money. I'm gonna fucking cut her and all this shit And my mom's like a straight razor or something. I don't know who knew who knew what the fuck was going on You know, who the fuck knew?

And then when I was about 14, no When I was about 13, she was still at my stepfather. She brought a chick home for me one night When I was about 13 and the eighth grade they brought a woman home one night They brought me up in the middle like that my God says having my bar mitzvah 13 And I'm downstairs and all of a sudden the guys are down there from the bottom. They're like, oh Go go wash up and put like a suit on this chick's gonna suck your dick and I'm like, come on Really? Yeah, your mother brought a home for you to suck your dick. So I went upstairs and took my pajamas off and shit The shower a little suit on. Yeah, I came back like fucking p.m. God damn

I started dancing with a when I touched the pussy the first time I got like dizzy though. Yeah You're still wearing pajamas. That's too young to get your dick. So this day. I don't remember if I fucked her If I passed out, I think I just passed out from the anxiety Dude that first time that that happens dude. It's like Yeah, it was terrible. It was terrible Like you don't know what the fuck happened How are you the first time you fell in love like fell in love and you were heartbroken that you still remember that Bitch's name to that. Um, and if you were bumping during the Sherman O's gallery

You might hit her in the head because she fucked your shit up for two years and shit. Um, I was probably Well 19 maybe and she broke your heart. Yeah, how'd she break your heart? I mean, it was just a typical, you know breakup kind of thing and and uh, she ended up like, uh She was you know with someone else behind my back kind of thing and I found out about it Yeah, it's because that was the first one, you know, I mean that was like really like that And so I mean that's really it wasn't a huge thing But for me back then when it's the first chick that you're really in love with

Um, and you find that kind, you know, you find out that kind of shit It's it's pretty fucking, you know traumatic at that age and you're like fuck everything I'm just want to die and like everything sucks and you know, it just fucked up dude and and um The skinny bitch broke my heart when I was about 12. She just fucked me up. I got left back I mean, I got fucked stop going to karate. Really? And she wasn't even here's the dumb thing like I felt till this day I still feel bad talking about it because I was such an asshole like I deserved it Like I bought into love and roses. I took her and her grandmother to a movie

Who does that? Like two or three times I had to take the grandmother to the movie. Wow If I knew what I knew today, I would have fucking stabbed him But I would call the grandmother suck my dick. Well, I would have fingered the grandmother at the movie theater While you watch Caligula. Yeah, I don't give a fuck You're gonna take four hours and then copping up my action. I'm trying to fill up your granddaughter here And you're over here playing fucking rock or the cop How about you Lee? How old were you? I was young. I was like maybe six and we didn't even I was so six

Damn, I don't know like sixth grade. Oh six seventh grade She was like not my neighbor, but pretty much, you know, how long have you been asking me to take walks? Joey, we would take walks every fucking day with our dogs. I touched her boobs But I was I was way too scared to do anything with her and then years later. She said she had a crush on me too, but And of course looking back I should have tried to kiss or something But I was just so you know what like 12 13 something like that. Yeah She she gave me a lap dance once How old are you and she gave me a lap dance?

This was the lap dance I had a front door that stepped up and I laid down on my front on the floor of my house and she just like kind of like Grinded on me for like two seconds. How old were you? I don't know she moved away like in high school. So maybe 13 14 like that was it though Like that it was like two seconds. It wasn't she didn't take anything off. It was it was in the middle of the fucking day I just had trees around my house But she was hot. So that's more action that I I didn't get any No, I had no fucking I didn't kiss I didn't do anything. I just she just

Kind of jiggled around for a second more action that I fucking had did I didn't have any I didn't I didn't get any until I was 17 Oh, I didn't have which was late 19 20 like late compared to like my friends and shit like that who were all like They'd already gotten, you know late at 14 15, you know I don't count that shit. I was like that disgusting shit. I don't count my police record I was talking about that Because like when was the first time you got laid that you were in love that's when it counts for me Then I was took me to a hookah house one time. Yeah, and it was disgusting. Yeah, you know Yeah, you got your dick suck, but it was under fucked up circumstances

She was half asleep on a quailu something, you know I'm saying there was always some bill was in the room Yeah, something's was going on like I got caught fingering this girl one time I'm fingering in the front yard and her father goes you got to come in and he's like now And my hands down are fucking pants and the father I was fingering outside smoke was coming. It's like 10 degrees And you can see a pussy had like heat coming out on fire because I was fingering like a fucking soul machine That was a soul machine We live in the soul machine neighborhood and you would hear those soul machines going off and I go Jesus christ

I want to finger bang somebody with that intensity with that rhythm with that fucking rhythm I had her I was like in the eighth grade. I had her out there. They were german and they hated spiky niggas The father and the brother were fucking They hated fucking spiky niggas the father but the brother would say it to me spiky niggas should all die And look and but when I fingered the sister he lost all face Like even now he won't friend me on facebook because How's it feel? I was finger banging your sister the death and shit You weren't talking much about spicks back then and shit. You send him a little video of a soul machine

Yeah, that's why if you're racist you better not have a sister Yeah, I was late man. I felt for me. It felt late losing Yeah For what I how old did you say you were? I was in college my first year of college or so. Yeah Or no, it was my second year of college. How are you the first time you fingered a woman? I don't even to be honest I don't I don't really remember and it wasn't I did that before it was probably 18

Maybe sometime in college. I didn't do I had sex. I didn't do anything in high school really sucked my dick Like I hadn't had sex and I was old already Like when I when I messed around with jean and I was 16 or 15 or 16 But we didn't do nothing. We just stuck it in a hole And I moved it around. I shot a load and she was bleeding a little bit I didn't take anyone's virgin any but it was crazy that after I got my heart broken that time I became a piece of shit. Yeah like two or three years. I was just banging chicks virgins And then I would call them up and they'd break up with them on the phone. I was cold-blooded. I dated

Two girls that were crying on the phone. I'm like, I'm not dating you know more once I busted that hymen I would send them like a to-go car. It was terrible. I think I remember the first time I fingered So I think I might have been 18 17 18. I met her on craigslist. I forgot about that God damn we dated. I actually dated someone from craigslist. She picked me up from the train. I was in college Oh my god, and and she was like, I'm not gonna come home with you, but I'll give you a hand job But you can finger me. So that was I was yeah, I was 18. Jesus christ Wait a minute. So you you met her on craigslist? Oh, yeah, and but like I was nerdy as fuck But like what you were like looking for for a girlfriend. Yeah for for not even like hooking up to be honest

I was just so shy that I was before online dating really. Wow. So yeah, we didn't have that back in the day, man We did it old school It was no It was nothing like that dude. It was like Oh, I heard I heard so-and-so is like doing so-and-so So you might want to oh everyone else was I wasn't doing I could I was so fucking shy I know what happened. I know exactly what happened like I fooled around and I got taken to a hook house And after that I was very careful

And very like selective and shit like that and then I worked as a doorman of the massage parlor for Louis Donato one summer and he got me like a blowjob from some crazy chick And still I don't count it because you know what man? It wasn't really somebody who cared about you and you cared about them and so weird And then I fell in love with a girl and I had sex with her And it was weird that I was in love, but we had the sex and after that we didn't see eye to eye Like we were in love for four years. We had sex And that was just one that changed my outlook. Yeah. Well, we had sex like two nights and that changed my outlook on

After that I was 20 19 I was headed out there. No, I knew the game right that there's no way you could snap me changed It was weird. Yeah It was very weird how it came and went and how you reacted But after those two relationships, I was that's it. I was done with in my mind Yeah, I thought I knew how to treat women and the whole fucking deal And I was still not ready. Yeah, I think I got married at 25 89 or 89 is I was 26 when I got married

And I was not ready for marriage. There was no fucking way. Yeah Were you ever married? Never anybody come close? I was proposed to once Um, but it didn't obviously didn't work out like it was Jesus this was probably uh, like 20 years ago, maybe I was probably like around your age, dude And were you in the band already? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah traveling on the road. I was I was uh In local I was in regional bands like I was I was in bands

It was that you know, we would tour like, you know in the states like the southern states or up north and shit like that But not music. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but it was before Like my first record deal. So it was like I was on the verge of getting signed with my first deal and um This particular girl had never dated someone in a band and she was extremely jealous and um, and I you know, I was I was not definitely not ready for it at the time either and we were just I think we'd been dating for like a year or something like that and um And she just like one night proposed to me

Like fucking ring in the whole bit and I was like fuck like like we just got out the dinner, man and we went back to to her place and uh She just broke that out and I was like fuck I was not expecting that and so I told her I had to think about it which is basically no and it it wouldn't have worked out anyways because we were just two different people and and um You know, she was just like if if she just saw girls around me she was already like

Blowing up and fuming and shit like that and it's tough, you know in this business and and Being that age and uh, you know just getting my career started. I remember you heard of someone getting proposed to you before That's the coolest thing I've ever heard What year did you join ministry? 12 years ago 2006. Wow And you write a lot of shit. I read too. Yeah. Yeah a lot of the music 100% to write. Thank god. Yeah I heard him on burr and he was interesting too. Oh, yeah, dude. Uh bill came to our rehearsal Um, I'm very uh

When when was that? Um A few months ago. Yeah, three four months ago. We were rehearsing uh here in north hollywood and uh Bill came down because al had done his uh his show And uh, he got behind your kit. Didn't he for a little bit? No, but at rehearsal he was like he was kind of behind your kit and shit like that, but um Yeah, I mean when I first came on board with ministry Um He flew me out to texas because he was living in el paso at the time and that's where he had a studio

And he was just like, yeah, I want you to help me, you know, write the new record and I didn't know I'd never written with him before so I didn't know how much writing I was going to get in and um Like the first day I showed him one of my riffs and he was like, yeah, that's you know That's cool. Call me when it's done and he leaves the studio and it's just me and this engineer who I just met And I basically like recorded All the music to this one song. I did all the guitars. I did the bass I did some of the keyboards and like two or three days later He came back and he's like, all right, let me hear what you got and so he heard it and he's like awesome

He's like, what else you have So I played him another idea and he's like cool call me when it's ready and he leaves again And so I I ended up like writing half of that album like the music to half of that record I played the guitar on that entire record and um, so that was like my My first record with him and I thought I was just going to write that That record but as soon as I finished that one He was like, I want you to do this cover cover-up record And so I stayed another like month and I did that one and then I did a revolting cocks record with him as well

and uh that cover-up record is is the one that got me my first Grammy nomination and um That was fucking 12 years ago dude. I did like three records in a row out in texas and um And then we started rehearsing and we went on tour and I mean, I've been with them ever since I don't even know How many records I've I've done with them now probably like five or six or something like that and um How does it take you to write a song?

Once you put your head to that song and know exactly where you're going it it it always varies um Sometimes it it's already written in my head and I literally just pick up a guitar or something and it just kind of comes out And then other times I have a general idea But I have to kind of work on it and it could take like Weeks, you know, but usually Like say today if I if I decide I want to write a song. I could probably have something written by the end of the night Um, whether it's any good or not lyrics. No, I just do music. Yeah, I only do music Yeah, Al does all the all the lyrics and shit and that's and that's been the case with all my bands

I've always just done the music so you can do music without knowing what the songs like So they base like the energy of the song off of whatever you just did and then they write lyrics to it. Correct. Oh very I thought I was the other way around which is well some some writers Do lyrics and then do the music according to that but in all the bands that I've ever been in It's always been music first and then, you know, like the singer the lyricist will get Uh, he usually have lyrics kind of set in mind and he'll be like, oh, okay This should go well with this type of music and shit like that. Great. Yeah But I mean, it's been like that. I've been writing songs since I was

10 11 years old. What's your I mean, I did some people don't like this question, but what's your Favorite part do you like writing playing choring? Like what's your favorite thing to do record? Um It's tough to answer writing Writing gives me a different high Uh, but it's between writing and and performing Not so much touring but actually being on stage and performing Really? Yeah, it's those two things writing gives me just as much of a high As performing does but it's different

It's a different kind of high because like when you're performing like you've got You know the crowd right in front of you and they're giving you that energy when you're writing I mean, it's just you but it's it's a different high that you get You know when you when you realize that you're creating something and that literally like you Start out with a blank slate And it's for me at least it's really exciting To just feel that that energy coming through me that I'm writing I'm creating something and I know that in a few hours

I will have this kind of thing That I've created from nothing and so that's Equally as much of a high as is performing. I think it was the last time it came Uh, what was it that we watched that document around Netflix about and I forget the time hired guns hired guns hired guns hired guns so If you were a hired gun you'd feel Like you'd like it, but there'd be a piece missing but I missed writing like it's it's not enough just to play I mean, I I don't know that I would feel something's missing because um

You're you're still playing which is something that I mean that's you love to do So, I mean, I've been a hired guy many times and I don't feel like anything's missing I just love writing, you know A lot and not everybody writes, you know everybody people there are guys out there that just play They're just in bands and they just play their instrument and you know, okay. Here's the music learn this and that's great You know, that's fine. I mean those guys are still Feeling that high because that they love playing and shit, but for me It's like it's everything that's involved from the from the you know starting point of having nothing

to Seeing it, you know, the end result, you know on stage in front of like fucking 50,000 people it's like it's a trip to be up there sometimes when we're playing something that I wrote That home with my acoustic guitar that you know, like eight months a year, you know Before that there was nothing and now, you know, all these people are like fucking pumping their fists and singing back stuff that you know We we wrote so it's it's pretty fucking cool, man. It's I mean, it's a huge high. You're such a beautiful guy, man So watch you play the guitar on stage I mean, I've seen a lot of guitar players that just I feel it with you. You're into it you

You know, the big thing around here is when you commit the universe takes care of you Yeah, and you know, like I've watched movies and had friends that have been in bands that have been cover bands And obviously to break out you have to write your own original material But when you're playing Poughkeepsie, New York on a Friday night, they don't give a fuck about sins Music, which we have we have a gift. Yeah. Yeah They don't really give a fuck about this is about a girl I met when I was having a mocha latte in Hollywood last summer, you know, this is a little song for you a little ditty for you People get pissed. Yeah, they come back from that show like I went to see Santana. He talked about political shit the whole fucking time

He didn't play black voodoo woman or whatever. You know black magical woman, you know So it's such a fucking again if you're a comic you want to just perform like I did for Ten years there's a stage for that. Yeah, and you can write on the run and take chances on stage There's a market for that. Yeah, but to get to the upper level just like in music They want to know what's in your heart and what's in your mind and how you stand with it You know, okay, you told us that joke is dirty, but why do you feel that way? Right? Right. It's funny. I'm a week away from taping a netflix special. Is that the one you're doing in? Yeah, Vegas next week 28 minutes

You know, I've had an hour for a year and I said this is not what I'm using. This is what I'm using I get on stage next monday at seven. I just want to tell you people that I got 20 minutes. I still got eight minutes to the missing Because and I don't give a fuck sure like I don't give a fuck Yeah, it's gonna work because you commit to the universe of course and the universe and every day My wife got me an iPad for Christmas and the first time I've ever written on an iPad Completely different ball game like now I could move shit like now I see it in the notebook

I got one page for that particular bit Now you see the bit so it's like flashcards So it's a different experience. I've been doing comedy for 27 years and you're still learning something Sure. So when I saw all this big stuff about you writing I was like That energy for years. I could write a joke on stage. Yeah, thank you Pray that Lee's there taping it or Lee which goes eight Don't forget that joke about fucking the bunny and lightning on fire. It was great. Whatever

You know, but most of the time I I throw away more good jokes that most comics write on stage Just going up there high just talking I you know, I could go off slowing down. I could do it every night. I just don't want to do it because you pay 25 bucks Right. I don't want to take that chance. Right. Follow me. So It's just really weird the energy you get from writing I didn't even know energy existed till I read the Stephen King book on writing And he broke it down about the energy that you get and that's when I really got into it And I wrote a few things for the book, you know that

I'm gonna be fucking good But I still felt that energy going through my veins as I was writing it, which is there's something there I'm not looking at it the right way. That's all that means because once you feel that energy You're in the right fucking direction. Definitely music has always destroyed me. I that that's where I tip my head No, I feel that anybody could write a good joke Music is the one that as you're writing and I look at you in the studio and go This is going to be on the rate Yeah, I mean it's I feel the same with with

Writers or guys that do lyrics or write, you know jokes scripts stuff like that that to me Is like fuck those guys have a gift to me like writing music I'm like anybody can do that. That's how I see it. So It's a it's a different thing that I wish I had I wish I had really gone into More of the the lyrical part of of writing as opposed to just music But music, I mean, that's where it took me, you know, clearly that seems to be where

Um, if you'd call it a gift, that's where it is for me is is writing music because that seems to come easy for me And natural more than anything. It's like it's it's a natural thing for me to do. It's not like Um, I'm ever like, oh man, I have to write something and what am I going to do? It's not like that It just happens and I know that I totally understand what you're saying where you know, you're missing eight minutes out of your your your act But you know, it's going to I know it's that I know it's that I feel it I totally relate to that when when I have something to do musically and I'm like, well, shit, I don't have X amount of time

To do this But I don't worry about it because I know that it's just it's just gonna happen I know it's there and I know that when it's something that that comes from the heart And it's something that's that is you it just happens man, you know, you don't have to like fucking Worry about it and what am I gonna do or shit like that because you know It's it's just who you are and you know that it's gonna show up You know, it's never failed me to this point, you know, many times where I've been like I have to have this song written or I have to do this or whatever and it's not done and I'm in the studio right now

You know in the fucking clock sticking, but I know that I'm gonna have something written. I know it's gonna come It's never failed me. It fails you if you don't do the work. Exactly if you do the work, of course Of course. Yeah, that's how I feel. Of course every day. I'm sitting myself down And it's not forcing myself. No, it's not it's not it's going home and going. You know what? Yeah, I know what it kill. Let me get down to a coffee shop and write this for an hour which that I mean I agree with you that I label that that's part of the work process. That's part of it You got to do that. Let's you gotta you you have to have you've got to put the work And I didn't know about this till five years ago

I didn't know gotta work in when I read the war of art or whatever the fuck it is the art of war whatever the fuck it is It really opened my eyes to what needs to be done every day Not what you want to do or what you don't want to do right What needs right to be done on a daily basis? For you to be that person so you to be that guitarist from ministry. How much Pressure comes with that it can come with or without pressure, right? The pressure is if you just coexist right and go hang out with steven addler Right and talk about the g in our days

Then you're just gonna be a sack of shit. Exactly. You hang around with dollars. You become a fucking donor eventually But if you go to the studio every day for two hours, exactly Even if you just go in tune your guitars Play a couple licks and just take that lick and play it and then your girlfriend calls and says get home I made pork chops and you go home that fucking one hour still amounts. I agree. I agree. That's what I didn't know for years I didn't know that that one hour. That's why when I started learning about that hour I utilized it because at first I was doing the comedy hour A pen in your mouth and then you flip the pen over and you taste the coke you did two months ago through the fucking big pen

You know I'm saying your mouth is numb now. You're trying to write You feel like a columbian farmer confused. It's the afternoon and you got a coke rush in your fucking mouth And now you got to write a fucking joke or something and and you don't write dick 40 minutes goes by and you go and you know what I'm getting the fuck out of here I'm gonna go cop a bag of dope or whatever the fuck it is that I do Once I started sitting down just going okay We don't have a joke to write. Let's write a story of the time me and sin went to Uh bakersfield and we got a flat on the 405

You'll think of it. You're right. And while you're writing it you go. Oh my god There's a joke right there something's here. Boom. There you go. Yeah, and now I transform it into my act and now you didn't waste an hour Right. You didn't waste an hour Yeah You have a page and you're just gonna run as soon as that clock starts. Boom You start writing your story. I totally totally don't worry about the comments. Don't worry about the pronunciation You don't need to spell it. Nobody's a spelling beat Just so you write it and then you look at it put the correction and then rewrite it

And before you rewrite it, you'll think of a joke or promise. I promise you because you're exercising the mind Right. It's the same fucking thing I I agree that um For me, it's like every day Even if I just fucking grab my guitar And just strum a few chords on it tune it whatever I mean some nights, you know, I I try to write As much as I possibly can just because it's it's it's always there and um

I always try to just document. I record, you know a riff that I have in my head I just record it and that could be it that could be all the work I do that day with music But I know that within that riff I'm going to go back to it and I'm going to hear something You know just a part of it that will now trigger a song or trigger a different idea But I think it's it's very important that you Do that you touch on that every day if you can if you're if you're if you are a guitar player Pick up your guitar and just fucking play a little bit, you know

Fucking if you if you'll inspired enough to write something write something If you if you're not feeling the inspiration of a song at least Just fucking grab your instrument. Just fucking play it. Just do something because I think you for for My experience That keeps that flowing and it keeps that energy going I could never like completely walk away from The guitar and not touch it for weeks and shit like that like I couldn't do that

Like I don't think any of us could could do that any of the guys and you know and what we do Even when it comes to drums the same thing you gotta get on them every day Play and put a little jam on Play over a little bit. Yeah, it's just I mean, I think it's it's I think it's like it's in our DNA and I think it's something that that we just It's in our blood and and it's a natural thing for us. It's not anything that we look at like you said like Oh, it's a chore. It's it's even though I I call it work I don't look at it like you know what I mean? It's something that

Um dreading that I have to do now. That's like we never look at it like that, you know, and Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and then I mean With me with writing it's like I could be driving home after this and hear Some noise outside somewhere, you know a car making a weird sound or whatever and that will trigger something In me that'll stay in my head and I will go home and just riff something out either on the bass or on the guitar Or I'll program something on the drums because if it's a rhythm that I heard or something like that because I'll use whatever the Fuck I have to to start an idea

Like it doesn't always just because I'm a guitar doesn't mean it always starts on the guitar I've written songs entirely on bass. I've written songs. I've started songs with just a drum beat or a drum pattern And so it can be triggered by anything, you know, um, and it Thank god it seems to flow and it hasn't stopped yet. So I'm hanging in there. I'm hoping it doesn't stop anything right now. I'm writing a bio like a bio for comedy Yeah to send the comedy clubs. I'm writing a bio I'm trying to write the book a chapter. Yeah, and I'm trying to write stand-up and I'm also starting to write my next special Nice mentality every day. I apply to something. I write jokes every day

Yeah, but every day to get to the jokes I go through one of those things you put in the work And it always catches it always so you're here an hour and a half Go do something. Guess what if I do that in the morning? I'll still again at seven and something else will come to me Sure Especially the next couple weeks the next week. Yeah, you know, well looking for eight minutes. It's a man And I got eight minutes. I could throw any piece of junk in there and make it new Right. It's not that it's I want the view to Really see a pounding. I really want to see a pounding. Where's tony bennett? I suck it

You're slipping Churchill what's happened now? smooth And I met tony bennett I want to be around 55 years this song is to pick up the pieces When somebody breaks your heart Some somebody twice as smart As I A somebody who

My head's too big on this treasure map To be true, let me give some shout outs there to my man matt more a fern x95 jack jeffrey My man d in colorado cletus augustus the valve kernel Cecilia t snack

And danny b sports For all your sports information go to danny b sports. I'm uncle joey sent you Let me ask you this because you're like in 22 fucking different bands Which is great. I love it because I was looking at that. That's another thing I want to talk to you about So sometimes you're writing a song At the end you see the finished product you're like fuck out I'm not giving out this masterpiece. I say that all the time. I'm going to this guy Yeah, fuck out let out come up with his own get them. Let them get a ukulele and stay up all night

Go buy a ten dollar bag of meth and see how hard it is to write this shit out Talks second. So every once in a while you write a song Do you feel it's for somebody else or a different band you're playing with? That's the hard thing. Definitely That's what you know. That's like for me. Sometimes I think of a joke I'm like, that's a little bit too much of a story for this fucking chapter in this joke. Yeah Like now I'm seeing like you tape the ice house for me. I had to get rid of eight of those jokes It's too long to the punchline. Okay. We got a half hour. We're killing punchlines eight a minute now I'm saying that it's like fucking, you know, you're a fucking soul machine

Whatever what happens like has it changed Listening to music for you because now that I like it's sometimes I can't really watch specials Because then I'll just start writing and I'll have to turn the special off because I have to write the idea down And then I'm done Do you do you it's changed for me in that? Usually When I listen to stuff now I dissect everything right and I hear the like okay I hear what this instrument's doing. I hear what this is like. It's almost like you're you're tearing it apart

That's what it's like for me and I have to actually um Try to turn that off When I'm listening to music so I can just try to enjoy the song because for me, that's what that's what ended up happening is The more I wrote the more I dissected stuff that I would just hear like on the radio or an album or something like that So that's how it changed for me And I have to like really try to not do that Like I have to make a conscious effort to not do that so I can hear it as a whole

You know, you know, it's fresh. I You can ask joey. I love watching specials and there's only been like a couple in the last I've tried to watch a bunch in the last few weeks. I've had to turn them off Either I don't like them as much anymore or I just I don't like to see through the bullshit now Right see through the smoke you see the smoke now So now you see that you look behind the curtain So now it's completely different, you know, it's like they say you don't want to really meet your heroes Right, you know, it's the same fucking thing

Once you see behind the curtain, it's tough to watch fucking comedy anymore unless you watch it fucking live Like when I go to a comedy store early and I sit there like when I was talking about the fourth wall last night sitting in the back And getting enamored by comedy is a great thing. Guess what? And I'm doing the special I'm telling you this and the special doesn't capture the comic It really doesn't and they don't know what they're doing. They tell you they know what they're doing But they don't know that they don't Look at the fucking videos from the 50s with Lenny Bruce And look at the the specials today. I get more out of those videos with Lenny Bruce. I just don't know how to shoot that way

I don't know what they were shooting or how they were shooting it They shot from the waist up. They kept the camera on that you didn't they didn't move Now they want to show the audience the right the smoke the people It's too much. It's become too much of an artistic thing. Just shoot the fucking comic And learn how to get the maximum laughter out of it. They don't They don't So that's why when I see a special at my house Yeah, I have a good time

for 10 minutes Then you see right there. I can't there's never you'll never hear me on this podcast Telling you a special sucks and that because I feel the same way about all of them The comic is being funny Is his fucking Patois coming through that lens Not fucking really It really it really does matter not fucking really like being in with a crowd

So when I go to the original room when I sit in Mitzi's row and I sit back there and I watch burr and ron white and alleywong and Crystallia and brethren and Steve Simone. I'm sitting back there getting that full essence You know going wow now I got without even seeing the special right he said that joke in the special it sucked This is great Live you get it live you start getting it now on video. I hate all of them I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you they're all fucking great I've seen some fucking garbage the last 10 years, but not the comic

They've made them garbage because they take their focus off the comic Well, you know, can you believe there's no more live music? When we were coming up It was cheap trick live at budakon. The song remains the same And there was one other one. Uh, who else did ufo? Ufo kiss in the night kissed in a bunch of them. Yeah, who else did one that was really fucking good? Not so you're really a kiss influenced big time big time ace freely's your man ace freily man. Yeah, fuck. Yeah No, I was like that was like my first guitar hero was ace freily

Yeah, and he deserves every bill that merit. I think yeah phenomenal. I mean he's fucking He's such a I mean he's I feel underrated for what he for what he did um You know, he's not like a technical player But that's not his style like his he plays from the heart and it's fucking real you believe it Like you believe every he can hang on one fucking note and bend the shit out of it And it's it makes more of an impact than a guy fucking doing You know arpeggios at fucking a million miles an hour and this is all fucking under the influence

Yeah, exactly early. Oh, yeah, I know if he could redo those They would be masterpieces and he's I mean He's out there again. He's going out with alice cooper. I think enough in the next month or two But um, but he's he's by opening for alice. He's opening for alice like his own like the ace freily band opening for alice and um He's still fucking slaying it out there, man, and he's sober now. He's sober. He's been sober now for real serious Yeah, yeah, and his playing is still fucking still fucking up today. Yeah. Yeah, I love his interviews I've been trying to get on the podcast

For years hilarious. I think he's as funny as they can. He is dude. He's as funny That would be awesome if you could get him. He's tough. He doesn't want to leave coaster mason. I know I know You know, I know I know that uh, the one guy went down there and they recorded two songs Yeah, you know, I listened to all the kiss stuff And like I said, I had a friend who was a kiss guy and me and him went to kiss and he died Yeah, I'm very telling kiss I was with So now after 30 years, I've let myself to allow myself to listen to kiss again Hear different interviews on serious am radio and I get goosebumps and sure but I remember how much I liked

Hey, like I remember the first time I heard I want you I almost fucking sued I almost like I love all that shit. Yeah, dude. And who's your second most influential guitar player? Uh, Hendricks no shit. Yeah third um I'd be between Fuck either roads or trower Robin trowel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean if we're talking old school Trower of the newer I would say roads randy was nobody talks about that guy from

What's that band they have an album called Cricklewood green love like a man I don't know what the fuck is that guy's name that played the guitar they played woodstock Fuck um What what do you got love like a man? Uh 10 years after yes. Oh 10 years. What's what's the guitar player's name to do now? I remember the band something green something Al something something 10 years after Uh, it's either alvin lee alvin lee. Oh, he's a fucking. He's a fucking monster

Monster guitar player. Yeah, I mean he wasn't it wasn't the band wasn't a band that I was No, no, no, no nothing to yeah, nobody but he's a fucking monster monster guitar player Yeah, no doubt about that now was it you that was telling me randy roger's mother was down right down. Yeah, right here in north hollywood. Yeah Delores shit Yeah, we went to the same junior high. He went to mirror junior high, which is the junior high I went to in burbank um I saw his mom A few times at her house when she was still alive and um, but yeah randy was a fucking big influence did you know when I was like

13 14 um Roads just fucking blew me away. The shit he was doing was just fucking out there and you know to this day I mean just listen to those fucking you know that first time that first time Every song dude every solo you remember it. It's all memorable. It's fucking the plane is is amazing You know my favorite soloist by him. Hmm. Goodbye the romance dude Classic by the romance the solo gets me every time if i'm in a light And I hear that it takes me right back to whatever stupidity I was doing that I never came out takes me right back

Dude takes me right back. What a fucking highlight was for me Was uh about a year or two ago I got to play there was a because they do these randy roads tribute shows like once a year and I got to fucking play suicide solution with rudy on bass That was a fucking

Killer for me man to be able to do That randy song did you do it to the team like a la randy? On the jaguar old flame. No, I did I tried it because it was a randy thing So everyone was there to hear randy's solos like randy. So I kept it pretty Pretty randy-ish And I mean did it was fucking it was a trip just being up there man and looking over and there's fucking rudy Fucking pounding away on the bass dude. We'll give him props to fucking uh, steven tower before another guy that

You got to give props to as crazy as now. He's got his he does something on serious where he interviews He doesn't interview every once a month with a friend And as crazy as he is he's still fucking as a osmore. Yeah another guy That came from the fucking trenches of death was dead. He was dead He was dead guys. He was above that liquor store where the fuck he was living Fucking dead, you know No hope and all of a sudden the chick came by the manager Yeah, she told the father told me he was a sack of shit. He was just a junkie. She thought different

And it started a corporation that's worth Dude's massive massive like massive and her dad was a big shot. Yeah Don hard big shot thief. Yeah, he robbed those guys. He made them all into junkies I mean, I'm I just finished reading the the man who led zeppelin Oh He worked for him. Yeah. Yeah, he worked for him. That's how he learned that was his first job He worked for him as security on wow on tours and they brought santana over And all those fucking bands from san francisco that shit, but

It's just really weird when you look at even aziaz bomb was dead. Yeah Dead they threw him out of his own fucking band like the guy like get the fuck out of here like You're done And then they replaced him that guy sucked and they replaced him with d.o. The guy that in between them There's some music online. That's just god awful Is that who was the guy that came in was that um Tony the first guy that came in to sing was god awful. Yeah, I'm looking up. Uh, look up heaven and hell With the fucking if you go to youtube, okay, and look up heaven and hell with the original singer

He's looking up porn over here. Yeah I have my needs in Heaven and has to look at the skydiving Put on youtube on here Okay, and I'll show you it'll say heaven and hell What the fuck is the guy's name Ralph something? It was god awful. All right, so I have I have um Ronnie james d.o. No ian gillian tony martin

glenn hughes, that's why I was thinking about tony martin glenn hughes ran out ray gillian No glenn hughes glenn hughes was was from deep purple deep somebody came in Right before fucking uh Ronnie james d.o. And they taped they did a couple demos and they said listen. This sounds like somebody died Oh, wait a minute. Yes Yes, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Yes Yes, no, it wasn't no. I don't think it was glenn. No it was not glenn. It was someone else

There was somebody else who came and I found it. I found it once and it was god awful So, I think he was the, wait, I don't see his name up there. Dave Walker, Dave Walker was the first singer. Was it Dave Walker? Yeah, having in hell Dave Walker. Listen to this diarrhea. Diarrhea of a madman. Listen to that, the second one.

Listen to fucking Junior's eyes with this fucking sack of shit. And Sabbath was dead too, musically, they were dead too. He was the first guy they brought in. Now Ozzie hates this fucking album, you can't even bring this album around there. He says it's a fucking jazz band, but listen to this vocal diarrhea. Wow. Cool. Horrible.

Wow. I think they brought him in and tried to squeeze Ozzie out and they were gonna stay on tour and somebody pulled him aside and said, don't do it, don't do it. Ozzie's glad that Ozzie's lucky that you like him, because I can just imagine you playing this outside of his house with the boom box. If you didn't like Ozzie, just all day. Dog, when I heard that, because I remember reading it, all we had then was cream magazine and circus.

Circus. And I remember reading in the circus that they would play them with Dave Walker. But something didn't work out. And then they found Dio and even Dio was hard to swallow. When I first drove to Philadelphia, I saw Dio on stage. I almost started crying. I almost started crying. And then I played it out and the hand was pretty fucking good.

Yeah. Except for the devil horns and shit. He was okay. But the best thing about that concert was, this is how crazy life was, Lee. It had to be summer of 81, maybe. And we drove down the shore, me, this guy, but I don't know who the driver was. But I know this kid resting pieces of the car. His name is Dan Rago.

He was five foot two, steroid out. He had to be 190 pounds of pure muscle. Wow. And in those days, I would make him take his t-shirt off and do push-ups. Like I'd get him all jazzed up, like do a couple lines of coke and give him a couple cocktails. And I'd say, Darren, take your shirt off, do some push-ups, dog. Get ready for these motherfuckers.

We could be anywhere and they wouldn't make him do push-ups. Like we're going to do a bar. Darren, come here. Do a line of blow, do some fucking push-ups. And he would do 200 push-ups and be yoked. Damn. And he'd walk in that bar with no shirt on in 81 and he didn't give a fuck. So we stopped in this fucking restaurant, like Burger King, like one of those.

And like, you know, he's talking to people like he's fuck. We're doing coke in the afternoon. We're doing a couple of bumps. We're already on acid and we're going to see deal with Sabbath. You know who was opening for them? The singer from Van Halen, when he was with Shakin Street, the guy that's in Cabo Wabo, Hagar, Hagar was a band called Shakin Street. Oh, wow.

And they were saying they were spitting on him in Philadelphia. They were spitting on their fingers and flinging the spit with their fingers. He was on stage ducking it and shit. He was fucking hysterical. Why don't they like Sammy Hagar? I don't know. I don't ask questions. If I see people getting spit on in Philly, I mind my business.

But my man, Darren, came back and that was his name. Darren Rago, God rest his soul. He came back into the car and he goes, look, dog, look what I got. I got acid, right? And it was just it was microdot. But those days, the hot acid was microdot or paper acid. He had got these things that look like earplugs that were purple, just a little smaller than earplugs.

I go, what type of fucking acid is this? He's telling me it's devil acid. He traded two lines at THC, three hits of acid, hysterical. So we get to the thing. I tell him, you don't want to hold onto him. I'll pass. So it was like six bands. It had to be like a broadband and then it was Sammy Hagar and then it was

somebody else and then it was Black Sabbath. Not only that, listen to this one. We had like 13 row seats and some guy came up to us. He's like, listen, man, can I talk to you guys? I'm like, what's up? And he goes, listen, I came here with four of my friends and two of them just beat me for coke or something. I don't want to sit next to them.

Do you mind trading your tickets? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And he goes, I'm sitting in a six row center. I'm sitting in 13 and you want these tickets. And he goes, I'd rather sit where you're sitting and sit next to these two assholes. Let's see if it's legit. Right in the arena. We walked right to the seats.

I shook his hand. He's like, fuck you to his friends. Fuck you, motherfuckers. You fucking barfs. We were sitting six row center. So he's me and Darren on the purple plane. So at first the music was great. I'm watching these people spit at Sammy Hagar.

It's phenomenal. Didn't you get hit by something in the six row? No, no, Black Sabbath comes on. And Dio comes out there with his little devil figure. Generals gathered at his masses, just like witches at Black masses. And he's saying all this stuff. I'm like, oh, this is a fugazi. And when I go to say something to Darren, he's out on the floor.

He's done. He's on the floor sleeping. So at one point on my mind, I said, we got to get out of here. So I pick him up and he's like holding our arms. And we carry him out to the car. We throw him in the backseat. We're like, what the fuck happened to him? And we're driving home.

When he woke up, he woke up like angry, like we're like, dog, what happened with those purple Quailudes, right? Because we can't call them purple Quailudes. You know what I'm saying? They ain't fucking Quailudes. That was pure acid. I was trippin' at the thing. Dog, the other time you were trippin' was on the floor.

You were past that. No! We tore meth in them from 1980 to the day he died about the purple Quailudes. Every time he got, I could get Quailudes. They're not purple. I'm like, fuck you. Fuck you.

Those were acid. I know, I saw things. We call them purple Quailudes to the day he died. Those are purple Quailudes. Fuck you. Nice. I remember one time we robbed the gas station every night. And another guy on a Friday.

And the cops were looking for, I don't know, they didn't know, there was no cameras, nothing. We got like 800, 900. We just hit the guy in the head with like a new chuck and just took his money and we shot down the shore. And on the way down there, we stopped and got an eight ball. Like that was our plan. Like we each got an eight ball

and we walked away with like 62.50. So then we get the C side. You were just going to jail for an eight ball and 62.50? Two eight balls, three eight balls. One a piece at 2.50 a piece at 7.50. And we had like 200 left over. We robbed the gas station for like 9.80. Just a little short of a thousand.

So we got three eight balls, we filled the car up with gas and we chopped up the rest of the money in three ways. That's how partners do it. So we ended up driving down the shore. We got a whole car room. That's a small four. Yeah, there goes the 62.50. And then yeah, and then we got away with beer.

So we're sitting there. Darren, me and somebody, I think it was stinky. It's gotta be 82. We're fucking getting coked up to the gills. And all of a sudden we're here and Darren opens the curtain and it's like a Haitian maid. And she's blacker than black and she's yelling at Haitian. And I'll never forget him going, fuck you.

And like closing the curtain. There's a black woman out there yelling at some language. I've never heard before on my dog notation. Just leave her alone. She won't come in. She tried to fucking open the door. And he's yelling and I'm gonna knock her out if she comes in.

And then Darren, you can't knock out the fucking Haitian maid. Did he go past checking us? Check out or something? What happened? I don't fucking know. We just sat in this hotel room with the eight balls. We woke up the next day and we went back home depressed. Because we robbed the gas station for no fucking reason.

That, you know what I mean? I was just gonna ask you, does that sound like anything you've done? He was a good guy. He's a decent guy. And you're even more of a decent guy. They don't do things like this, you understand me? Only animals like me have a good time.

It's funny because now I sit back and I go, you know what Merle, half the fun I had because it was the drugs. Like half the fun. Like I would love to sit here and go, you know what? Don't do drugs and live your life. Half the fun I had was to get ventures. Either get the drugs, I mean, I ended up kidnapping somebody,

putting them in a trunk of a car. I laughed my ass off about that today. Nobody got hurt. It was a potential. You went to jail for two years. There was a potential for violence. Oh my God, what are you talking about? Well, at the end of the day, nobody got hurt.

He's a little psychologically scarred. He's got PTSD and a couple other things. He might have a rash or something. You know what I'm saying? You don't see jail as a negative? I really, it was positive. I'm here, right? It worked.

It's how you look at it, Leigh. It's how you look at things. Yeah. Jail was exactly what I needed at that time. A couple weeks away from society. Couple years, a hundred weeks. Who gives a fuck? It turned out to be a positive thing.

It turned out to be okay. It got me ready for the next 20 years. What would have happened if I wouldn't have got caught? Then I would have got caught now. And let me tell you something. Being in jail when you're 50 is a lot harder than being in jail when you're 20. Yeah, fuck that.

When you're 20, you get at least fight to the death when you're 50, you're getting fucked in the ass. I was thinking about that last night, about that scene from... American Me? No, from the Sons of Anarchy, when the guy who wrote it and directed it is getting assaulted in his cell every day.

He bites his tongue off. In other words, he's getting picked up the ass by one big black dude. And the guy eats his lunch, which makes it even worse. Is that what you were trying to say, Leigh? Yeah, sure. I was trying to keep it PG for the second of the park.

Yeah, hope PG for who? Who gives a fuck? We don't keep it PG. And he's getting sexually assaulted. They show that on Sons of Anarchy. They ran a train on it. I've never seen it. Yeah, they show a lot of shit on Sons of Anarchy.

He bit his own tongue off, spoiler. It's like 10 years ago. Yeah, if you haven't watched Sons of Anarchy even, there's no spoiler attack. The show's been canceled for fucking years. Go get a fucking life spoiler, Leigh. Who gives a fuck? I would tell him, talk about the episode the next day

and people get pissed. I'm old school, I watched the fucking thing with commercials the first time. One of theirs, so there's no mistake. If you're not gonna watch it like that, you're not really a fan. Me and my wife would go to dinner, we'd get home five to seven.

I'd take three hits of the pipe, and Sons of Anarchy would come up. Bah, after we look at the shower, give a stab, and it's date night. Everybody gets a fucking, everybody has a good time. Bah, no big fucking deal. No, you come here often, boom, done. Yeah, done.

Look at Leigh, that poor girl, dated for four years, never came in a month. What do you got this show? Nothing, not one shot to the mountain. Not one pot. Wait, but let me ask you this. Yes sir. Was that something that you guys just agreed on?

Yeah. I don't understand. I mean, I ask and I'm not, if someone says no, I kind of leave it there, I don't really push the envelope over. You never ask. You just pop the load in their mouth and let them wait for their reaction.

For five years you were with her and she told you no morning sex and you bought into it. Okay, she doesn't like sex in the morning, then don't live here. I love sex in the morning, and you can't live here. Cause I'm gonna give you a stab in the morning. When I told you I don't like it, listen, it doesn't really matter what you like.

I'm paying the lights, I'm paying the fucking food bill here. You're driving back and forth to work. Nobody's sucking dick, you know, just cause you got a mother like. We want to say, but we can't say, I can't. Yeah, no, you have to say it, because if you don't say it, then look what happens. Exactly, four or five years later

and you're still in coming to mouth. A girl told me I'm coming to mouth, that's the first thing I do, I knock her way up. You know what I'm saying? If a girl tells me like on a date, I really don't like when guys come in my mouth. I drink eight milkshakes on the next date. I shoot a load in her mouth

that she'll never fucking come back again or she'll come back for you after years and shit. Yeah, I don't have time for that shit since day one. I played that I'm a romantic game for a while until you get fucked in the ass. They tell me what they don't like and that's the first thing I do. I don't like when a guy flots in my fight

when I'm getting a blow job. That's the first thing I do is blow a fucking nut right in their face. I don't give a fuck. And if they pull away, I come in their eyes, so be it. So be it. So did you, I mean, was it like a healthy sex life? Lee?

I mean, yeah. No, no, look at him. He's damaged, he's damaged. It was four years, he didn't do nothing. It slowed down towards the end, but that happens. But yeah. But I mean, but did you like- At 29?

Yeah, 20 months. Listen, when I date that strip, I fucked it every day for four years. I got my money's worth on that dirty bitch. Every day, except for a period, I did something to her. Those five days, I stayed away from her like a leper. She had the hiv. Then that sixth day, I'd give her a stab

and then by the eighth day, I'd be eating a pussy and ass and finger to the death until blood came out again. Oh my God. That's stripper. I remember how it was breaking up on me, me going, do you think I really care that you broke up on me? I fucked you every day for four years. I got my money's worth on you, you filthy animal.

Every piece of sushi, every bottle of wine. You're romantic, yeah. Yeah, cause when you're not sucking and fucking and they order wine at $60 a pop, you're sitting there getting angry. But if you know you came in their hair, you're fucked away. I put a bottle in a pussy one time

and it sucked the period juice out. I did things to that poor girl that had a good time. I mean, we still talk- You wouldn't do the farm animal. No, we're still friends because she's an animal. She even told me she's still an animal. At 50, she's a fucking animal. But,

Oh my God. No, every day I get my money's worth. Yeah, that's the truth. I give you a grandma coke to do. I'm getting my money's worth out of you. There's no way you're leaving here alive. Nobody snorts for free. You're sucking something.

You give me a teddy show. I don't give a fuck. I'm no Harvey. I'm doing something. I'm no Harvey. But I'm no fucking half a faggot, you know what I'm saying? What the fuck on this city and give you half my blow. You're not gonna suck it.

I gotta hear stories about your boyfriend, not on this planet. I think people take blow a little bit more seriously than I took like ramen and stuff. Cause I didn't buy her- I didn't buy her blow. I bought her dinner. Like that's it.

And that was, we had for four fucking years. You had to turn that thing back up, dude. And that were terrible. Had that up. That you got talked into, weighed online, her girlfriends, all those bad concerts you went to, Long Beach for New Years. Remember that one?

That was an investment and opportunity. The time you went to the jacuzzi and had a scar, the time you broke the zip line. I didn't break the zip line. All the group-ons and all that shit. All the group-ons. That adds up. And you'll say now that you won't go to a strip club.

Listen, you go up here, that chick up there for the small 300s, you'll take you upstairs- That's way too much at once. And suck the protein juice out of you. You won't even know. Can I get me for six dinners, I guess? I mean, I can't- Six dinners is 180.

Six dinners at fucking, what, 60? It's 360. That's what I'm saying. For 300, you go up there. I think it's 260. You can fucking come in a face and you give her a $40 tip and nobody feels they're guilty.

You can't, you're not supposed, like what happens if the cops roll in? Who cares? You're coming on her face. Tell them to wait their turn. Yeah, tell them to wait their turn. Put the badge away. Put the gun away, the whip is dead.

Put the whip away, the horse is dead. You know what I'm saying? What do you want from me? I think that's illegal, isn't it? No, it's not illegal. You go, look at, he's doing the June noises. He's checking the June noises, right? You make me turn young kids here

don't go jerking off in fucking strip clubs. Joe EDS said I could. Listen, you go in there, it's dark. What do you think happens in dark spots? You jerk off. That's what happens. You're walking around nude. What do you think's gonna happen?

You think those girls don't go home once a week with jizz on their leg and somebody's shooting. You go into that back room up there, they do dirty things to you. And then you go upstairs and they do even dirtier things to you. There's upstairs? There's upstairs.

That's what I'm trying to say to you. You give them the $2.60. That's a lot of money though. And you give them a $4 tip and you do whatever for $40. But to add up all the ramen prices and the major part and everything. And you still didn't get,

and you still didn't get them. And the spooktacular and all that shit. You give the girl a small $2.60. You shoot her mouth, you go home and sleep like a baby. You're like, you didn't do nothing. She's used to it. How often do you do that though?

That's a lot of money. Once a day, what do you give a fuck? $2.60. I don't give a fuck. How many times you go in there once a week? Who gives a fuck? It's better than sitting at home and looking at four walls

like the guy from the fucking, what's that band? At least I got $2.60 though. What $2.60? You dropped four years of fucking Dennis. I know, but now it's done. Now I have to resave up for the next four years. Once they tell you, I don't like coming my mouth. You go, really?

Me neither. That makes two of us. Next blow job, you make sure you come double quick with mushroom juice and asparagus in it. Oh my God. Pineapple. And watch them make that Chinese face

like something's not right. And they drink water, they brush their mouth, they listorine, and it's still stuck in their fucking throat. You know what if you like them, who gives a fuck? This is what happens if you like somebody.

You gotta drink the goo. When I'm sucking your pussy and you spray at me, what do you think, I get out of the way? No, I inhale that fucking. Stay right in there, man. Yeah, stay right in there. Did you guys do everything?

Was everything like? No, obviously not. Obviously not, but. I mean, honestly, I'm not really attainable, but I'm- He didn't pull a hair, he didn't come on a face, he didn't smack it one time.

I've never done that to anybody. I would've pulled my dick out of her mouth and slammed it in the mouth with it and put it back so she doesn't know what's going on. This sounds worse than fucking whatever. And it comes out like this? Sounds of anything. When it comes out and it makes that noise.

Like that. Like that. That's fucking tremendous. And when would that note? What's the tour? Where's the next tour start, please? When's the next tour? July 11th, Europe.

Really? Yeah, we're in Europe for five weeks? Months, six. Month and a half, maybe? Jesus Christ. And what spots are you going to in Europe? Spain, Germany, France, Italy, where else?

Czech Republic, maybe? Yeah, Czech Republic, Ireland. Ireland, UK, yeah. Yeah, so we're out there like, yeah. July 11th to like August 18th or 20th, something like that. It's like five or six weeks, something like that. And then we're home for two months and then we're doing another US tour, I think,

November, December. But we've got this, I started this kind of power metal side project that's like old school metal and it's called Three-Headed Snake and we're actually mixing that thing. It's an EP that I hope to have done in the next like month or two.

And that's like old school fucking power metal, like from the 80s and shit like that. Like Julius Priest. Yeah, it's like that. It's like that kind of shit. The second side. One day in the world, like a battering ramp. Yeah, it's like classic priest fucking kind of shit,

just heavy riffs, power metal, the singers fucking amazing. And Derek actually tracked the drums on that thing. So we got that thing going on too, man. Is it like a registry for band names now? How do you come up with a band name and not that hasn't been used? Well, I mean, you do have to get it trademarked and shit like that.

Really? Okay. Yeah. All right. It's way hard now. Yeah. Yeah. What's it cost you now to trademark a band name? It's like, it's not that much money.

It's like a hundred and something. That's not bad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not. I mean, it's definitely not super expensive to get it done. It's just doing the paperwork and shit. So it has been a pleasure following you on social media. If you don't follow Sin, you're fucking missing out on it.

It's, he shows you a different type, like of what you think a musician's life should be. He shows you some interesting fucking pictures. Follow him. I don't know if you put videos up. I mean, you just, Yeah, we have, we have, and we got a Twitter thing going on now,

which I didn't have the last time I was here. Cause people were, after I did the show, people were like wanting to find out about, So is it Sin on Twitter? It's, I think it's Sin, Cure, and Music, I think. Sin, Cure, and Music on Twitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're an interesting and a good soul.

Thank you, brother. I appreciate it, man. I appreciate it. It felt bad because I didn't get the full patois from Sin. I didn't really know the experience. And then I started looking at your pictures and all the interesting shit you do. I appreciate it, man.

Bro, you're a solid, you're very downer, which I've seen them at all levels. Dude, and I gotta say, man, there's a group on, I think it's on Facebook, that it's a church group. Yeah, Scott Cunningham. Dude's fucking guys, man. He's a good guy.

I mean, my hat goes off to those guys because they have been nothing but amazing to me. And because of the show, obviously, and they've been, I mean, nothing, but just the most supportive guys. Good gentlemen, yeah. Dude, for supporting all the stuff that I have going on, they've been great people.

So, I mean, I wanna say thanks to those guys. And when I was on this last tour, a lot of guys came up, man, and they were like, fucking heard you on Joey's fucking show. Wait till you go to Europe. Dude, a lot of cool people, man. The church is solid, solid. It really is, dude.

I'm really proud of the people that come to the shows. When I do comedy shows, the waitresses always go, you know what, man? They were a little drunk and rowdy, but they were good people. They were decent, so thank you for being you. We rate you the best. You motherfuckers do not back down from anything.

So, again, thank you, and you could bring dates on the website, whatever the fuck you need. Awesome, thank you, man. Thank you, I appreciate it. Don't forget, right now, a week from tonight, I'll be in Las Vegas with Lee, taping the special, thanks to you people, and Netflix.

And then on the 16th or something, I thought I'm at Calusa Casino, there's a few tickets left. But before I leave, I gotta talk to you about Blue Apron. It's the number one fresh ingredient recipe delivery service in the country. Blue Apron's mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone. They achieved this

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Look what they got. They got pork chorizo tacos with radishes, roasted potatoes and cotija cheese, salmon and spicy orange salsa with quinoa and carrot salad. Ooh, creamy pesto cavatelli with mushrooms and spicy bright crumbs. And dig this one, you ready?

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Go to fuji sports.com right now and press in. And get 10% off the limit, write the house, you help out the podcast, everybody's fucking family. I wanna thank Blueapron. I wanna thank fuji sports.com. I wanna thank my man, Sin, for coming in and bringing the main man over here. Nice guy, as he said the fucking word.

He's a gentleman, he drinks his water, he ain't bothering nobody. I wanna thank the Flying Jew. But most of all, I wanna thank the church family for being fucking gentlemen, tremendous women, and for fucking supporting us on our cause every week. Thank you, have a great day. We'll be back Thursday morning.

Ready to fucking rock. Don't worry about nothing, we love you. Stay black. Kick that fucking mule, Lee. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, are you broke my nerves, and I'm so excited ah, wow, wow, wow, wear your push, push, let me know that you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, gonna get your wish, ah, love, let me find your sweatbound, you're gonna find your oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh good, good, good, good, good, good, good, ooh, ooh, good, good La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Maybe two would do anything We would do anything Everything baby Everything baby Oh, baby Oh, someone on me Make me shake what you got And here you got a lot You did it something child

Yes, I know Oh, make it hot, you're hot You really shoot your shot You're down on my child Yeah, well, I can tell by your gaze You're gonna start a play Baby, baby, baby I'm about to choke from the smoke

That the child never stop Can you see it now? Yeah Wow Wow Wow Baby, baby, baby Hey

Baby, baby, baby Oh Baby, baby, baby Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,