Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #608 - Ethan Suplee

Episode Date: August 14, 2018

Ethan Suplee, an actor seen in television shows ("My Name Is Earl") and movies ("American History X" and "Remember The Titans"), joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:    FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.    Recorded live on 08/13/2018.


Greetings from podcastville the church of what's happened now is brought to you by on it on its supplements In fact, I ordered mine for the month today. I'm running a little late. I got the Mexican chocolate protein I got a little shroom tech sport a little shroom tech immune and that's it I'm tip-top Magoo ready to go. Listen alpha brain the best stuff you could take get your mind thinking if you don't like it Don't work for you. I'll give you a money back 100% money back guarantee. No, no, no questions asked All right, we don't even want the product. That's how much we believe in alpha brain So do yourselves a favor go to honor calm right now take a look at the supplements the weights the kettle bells You like something on the way out press in church

Bam and you get yourself 10% off delivery right to your house me and my men mr. Soupy we're talking about geese my favorite gi is a fucking fujigi. I love it They've been around since Johnny Sakamori. You know Johnny Sakamori is neither do I but who gives a fuck what I'm trying to tell you It's the toughest gi out there. They got mats. They got shin guards They got they got the kettle bells that you don't need fucking weights to they got everything over there foodie sports calm So go to foodie sports order a nice gi on the way out press church and get 10% on delivery The house is that too much the fucking ass when you savages kick this fucking mule Lee Are you kidding me or what?

Church what's happened now? The Christ killer Lisa at Uncle Joey I wrote me a manual step-by-step booklet for you to get your game on track not your wig push back Though you hold cuz you know That's where the breed jealousy especially if that man fucked up get your ass Don't you know bad boys moving silence and violence taking from your eyes Uh-huh

It's too good Jesus Christ I went to the party It was a source party at the car museum down on Fairfax in Wilshire I went that night me and a couple of my friends and we pulled up And we knew this girl kadada jones who worked for source or had something to do with the party And she came out and she was gonna bring us in and we were walking in and honestly it was a fucking scary party It was like gang bangers everywhere and we kind of went This isn't a party we need to go to and we split and the next day we heard biggie died. We he was murdered

That's fucking crazy. Yeah when you felt you felt it in the air. It was a it was a bad vibe, man It was just it was just a bunch of legitimately tough Dudes who were looking to have a problem with somebody, you know They weren't happy. Nobody was having fun. It was a bunch of people posturing And going like i'm a murderer and i'll fuck you up. Don't look at me, you know That's not that's not what you wanted a party. It's not a healthy environment. No I don't what does that even feel i'm sure i don't think i've even been to a party like how did you recognize it? You know you you walk up to a party and there's

50 dudes standing outside who are all big guys who all have very angry scowls on their face and they're looking at you like Do something so i can fuck you up. That's how you know this is not the party for me You know, i don't know how many buildings i walked in as a as a young kid stupid naive to get drugs with eight hundred dollars in my pocket and Eight hundred was a lot of money to me at the time But it's a lot a lot of money to somebody else sure And you're walking up two flights of steps and you know on the second floor There's somebody shooting the fucking corner

They know what you're going in that building for you know, and all of a sudden you hear a little fucking whistle in the air It's it's a weird through you know when you're walking into a trap. I haven't walked into a trap in A long time. It's been 10 15 years. I'm one time in the Bronx as a kid My mother gave me 20 bucks 10 bucks or something and said go around the corner and buy a toy I had to be five six And I saw Six year olds that didn't look like me and didn't look like the six year olds I played with

And I knew they were gonna chase me. I was not the fucking toy store two minutes And they were chasing me though I ran to that fucking dry cleaner And then you know, you know where you belong and you know where you don't belong. It's a weird fucking feeling. Yeah Is it surprising to you guys that it doesn't seem to happen more in vegas? like I don't really hear that often about People getting well They're not gonna listen vegas police vegas the casinos will try to hide that

So people go to vegas, right? Yeah, they're not gonna fucking they're not gonna, you know, they give you the news you want to hear There's also a lot A lot of money in tourism and a lot a lot of influence to keep that as you know As much as they can keep that kind of shit at bay because it would fuck with Their profits. So I don't think they're gonna allow that much awful shit to happen in vegas I mean, obviously if we go back to the The shooting at the country concert

That's pretty terrible, but that's that's not frequent in vegas Well, now they're prepared for it. Yeah, now that'll never happen again in las vegas. Nobody was ready for something like that Right, but it's so weird how Think of las vegas. That's the macro. You know how in college you have micro macro economics Think of vegas think of the casino now Let's take it back to the micro of that which is a bad which is let's just pretend for the sake of washington heights In 1985 in new york for people who know what i'm talking about

The dominicans are taking over the fucking neighborhood from 85 to 93 or 96 And all you had to do is get off that bus and bought authority and walk down the stairs and make a left And you could buy 30 dollars worth or 300 thousand dollars worth Now You walk out of there Ethan is working a play in new york city Ethan wants to get a package Couple on the other people on the play want to get a package. I'm gonna go get a package

I'm going up there with 1200 in my pocket for the weekend. Okay So as soon as I walk on that block lisa, you're gonna see spotters on all the corners Okay, you're gonna see a guy you're gonna see two guys drinking a beer That to you in your mind They're just two fucking street guys So they're drinking a beer or they're minding their business. They're spotters They're watching the neighborhood and 100 yards down the corner. There's two more spotters And 600 yard 600 yard radius. There's spotters, you know why because the building is the investment

So what happens is Lisa yet who lives in 914 what the fuck is 914 rockchester county county? That's where white kids have money and they come over with 1200 miles every friday. That's just you Think of all the thousands of kids who come over that bridge every friday to get the high premium cocaine That's the micro economic to the macro of las vegas You you're guaranteed walking drive getting out of your car Tell them

Ethan take a ride around the corner me being in five minutes me going upstairs Picking up an ounce running right downstairs getting the car with Ethan and I'm safe because all those spotters are protecting that investment Yeah, do they have spotters like up the road to like let them know what cars are coming or is it just everything? spotters or everywhere to let them know about the heat competition And the customers and and within that community nobody is going to risk Stealing from you because you're actually damaging the big corporation You see what I mean? So shit shit will happen. Probably, you know, you walk around by the way I hyperventilate walking down if you have to walk from one casino to the other because getting in a car is going to take longer

So you walk and you're just constantly in a horde of people and it's the worst possible feeling For sure dirty shit happens out there But there's also tons of cops and tons of people and they know if they if you get robbed walking from one casino to another You're stealing from the casino and you're going to get fucked So it's that that's the micro thing a small drug neighborhood And the macro is a neighborhood like vegas If kids start getting boosted

Going to buy drugs, right? The drug business goes under those people if right now word gets out in the street that every time I go in the MGM and I go upstairs I get robbed by my car. You're not going to gamble at the MGM no more Right. Absolutely. You know, there's people There's people who go to las vegas and they go to casinos where it's a million dollars just to get in there You know what I'm saying? Like you have to do a credit app and give them a million dollars just so that they feel safe They feel safe if I if I was a millionaire and I went to gamble in las vegas You wouldn't see me at no low end casino

You would see me at casino with three dudes with fucking ars at the door when I'm gambling Chicks with a bikini fucking passing out cigars Lighting them for you Copping fields. They don't give a fuck about Harvey Weinstein They never heard of what I want because every time you grab grab you till they give you a thousand dollar chip. Oh my god Yeah, that's what it is. That's what reality is And I mean It has because I like is there's ever get

Frustrating as like a criminal because you must see I see people that all the time with money hanging out the drunk Like it must be it would be easy. Well, you know what a casino has a thousand eyes on you Right, even if I pick pocket ether before I hit that door. They're gonna grab me and and anything that's happening It's probably happening with uh without violence, you know what I mean, right like uh this guy Apollo Robbins You heard him He was the the top pick pocket, you know, I think now he like works for the government in in designing You know cia identities or something. I don't know what he does now exactly But he's like the top he was the top pick pocket

He's done ted talks and he could he could he could rob you without the cameras even seeing it It looks like you had a friendly interaction. You have no idea what happened and now he's got your wallet So shit like that probably is happening, but they're not gonna advertise that But you just feel like you're drunk and you lost your watch or something or well, they're gonna take care It's not gonna make the fucking paper, you know, right things if We read what we were it's like right now. Look for 20 years Comedy was whatever comedy central gave you Also, a bunch of podcasters started getting a little fucking notoriety

Not comedy central's got egg on their face because they didn't show the real deal Makes you think a lot about music. Yeah, do we see the real deal of music or is what the label or what the times calls for Was there a band out there that was better than Led Zeppelin? Was there a band out there that was better than black Sabbath? We didn't get to see them So it's the same with news, especially now You know, you watch 60 you watch world news tonight, which I watch every fucking night with the chick I started watching it with Diane Sawyer They're

They're programmed for 48 minutes of horror. Yeah, and then the last 12 is Somebody who's making baskets in Kansas and making money And the fucking Japanese kid with one arm who plays the drums in a big band now because he can play with his mountain state You know that they give you eight minutes of happiness That's what the show is like. It compels you come back and we'll tell you about the passenger who saved the plane from going You know now they have this information. Could you imagine if like let's say Let's say when the chinese guy got beat up on united right

Let's say if the camera footage before the footage would have come out If united would call cbs mbc fox and fucking Whatever and so looker I got 10 million for all these To fucking pay that tape and never play it right chinese guy has a press conference, but there's no fucking tape nowhere You know I would go for something like that. I believe something like that could happen Well, that's kind of what I was just going to say like they picked the news

It's selective they picked the news, but even just what would happen in seattle where that guy stole the plane Even though the new I didn't hear it on the news online. I heard like the uh him talking with the air traffic control Oh, yeah, we got great footage of it. We had everything we would have needed from the news online Right that was the weirdest thing that happened friday night because I was doing comedy in kansas city Which I want to thank you if you came out to the shows in kent city fucking great audiences You guys saw I took the fucking ride with his the city was great. The barbecue was great. Everything was great I get back to my room friday night And i'm going i'm watching whatever the fuck on netflix

And I checked twitter at like one and some fucking people talking about this thing and one guy says, uh, you know Uh, it's still too early for a comedian to make a joke about something like this So I fucked him look at the guy's page and it says comedian. I go back and I go It's probably it's never too early first of all if you're a comedian And if you're thinking that way, you're not really a fucking comedian because comedian takes Social things like that and turns it around Into what I mean, there was just a bunch of ever since maro ranalo Did the thing about him having the disease, you know, it's like

All his followers. I think I follow maro and they were all like sympathizing really quick. I'm a comedian dog Whatever the fuck I'm gonna say I'm gonna fucking say it Timing is everything in comedy. You know that question pops up. When is it too soon? It's never fucking too soon. It's too soon Whoever thinks whoever has the biggest dick in the room first is gonna drop that fucking bomb The quickest some people gonna react to it some I heard a fucking horrible Brilliant joke the other day. I had one of the most brilliant horrible jokes. I've ever heard in my life Kevin kneeling goes

What do you guys think about the fucking board game thing or some shit? He goes when I heard I didn't really fucking like the guy because I didn't like the fucking guy I mean the audience just froze I froze I would name the same like that. He goes. I don't like the guy, but then he goes I started thinking about it And I got something in common with the guy because he didn't like himself either Oh my god, how brilliant. I would joke is that yeah, he goes now. I can't stop watching

He goes I wish they'd pick him up for another season now Jesus just brilliant Brilliant. Well, what the fuck you want me to tell you right? But we live in such a and there was no pussies in that room that night. They took a ride with him Well, the you know talking about the internet like this like We have much Guys like you are now Doing this

Getting much more notoriety than maybe you would have had when it was just fox and cbs and And comedy central when when the only outlet for comedy was was comedy central. Yes, it's much better now but also We have the situation where You know prior to the internet you had one politician get up and say something slightly snarky about another politician Then you had to wait for the next politician to get a news conference together to make a retort Which just upped it a little bit so it would take six months before they're actually in a big fight And now the level of hostility in america

Is ramped so high you have you know republicans are all nazis and uh Democrats are all communists and you have everybody trying to shut everybody down with intense hostility And there's this kind of like people are getting off on being outraged And I think that's not productive. It's not it's not productive at all. The internet is killing us slowly It's giving us too much information at one time. I agree We're having too much fucking information and and just like drugs just like alcohol just like exercise just like chicken colors

You have to give it a breather From day to day you have to really like that's why on the weekends I have a very low Once friday comes I try to stay off the internet as much as I can till monday morning. Yeah It's too much. It's and you read a lot of shit. You shouldn't And sometimes you go into foxhole or videos or something like that that you shouldn't be watching it has nothing to do with your life You know, you can't even on the computer. I take on the road. I don't have twitter and facebook Right

I have my hotmail and I have writing apps and I have netflix that I do have But I wanted to give it a break. I got an ipad my wife got there's no reason Yeah, give facebook a fucking breather. It's too easy to get riled up and it's too much and it's just you know Facebook and twitter they're great for six or seven weeks And then you get one week where you get all hate Yeah, and you like where's this hate coming from there's a reddit thing and this and this and you go, you know what? It makes you want to get the fuck off there But there's so many good people on there that follow you and that interact with you

That you feel for them But the internet has just given a voice to a lot of it's given me a voice in a positive manner But it's giving people a voice in a negative manner. Yeah, the the ability to highlight one sentence or one action from a person's life in the past and and put a microscope on that thing And and to call their entire existence this action or this statement that happened years ago

That's a weird. That's a weird dangerous thing to do. That's a very odd power to hold over somebody. You know what I mean? We're living in weird times I'm an immigrant and as you know, I did time in fact Wednesday is the 30th anniversary of me getting sentenced. Congrats. You've never said You've never said me. You've never heard me say the word pig or anything negative about cops. I put myself Where I put myself I'm gonna tell you something anything soupy on that day. I did something very bad

I took somebody against their will with a machine gun and I handcuffed him and I was on it from day one If you want me to lie to you and tell you I was a victim and I knew about the trunk in the car and I We weren't gonna kill him. We're gonna put him on a bus to Arizona It was uh, one guy that was doing it for a stripper and the other guy was just doing it to get $30,000 I just wanted to get my hands on 30,000 miles I thought 30,000 dollars would bring all the happiness in the world to me at that time. His boy was I fucking wrong But let's be honest. I'm not the same person. I was 30 years. That's what I mean

So what's going on now is a fucking embarrassment because I was raised in the country. I was raised to believe that you're fucking this and to approve the fucking guilty but if Greg Garcia says that we went to college together in virginia one day. I put my finger up his asshole I lose everything I have because Greg Garcia says I put my finger up his asshole in 1980 Well, guess what? Greg Garcia. I was a different person in 1980 And fucking so were you maybe you wanted somebody to stick a finger in your asshole. You just remember now all of a sudden That's what I mean. That's what I'm saying beyond all of that even

We're human beings so You know, I I'm not a Christian But I think one of Jesus's principal teachings was that we're all flawed. You know what I mean every human being is flawed So like as long as that's the foundation from where we start our arguments or our fights and our outrage with people is that We're all flawed everyone's flawed. So if somebody did something that you consider more flawed 20 30 years ago Where's the avenue to correct that?

Are we just excising it and pretending that that shit's never gonna happen again? Or are we gonna talk about like how do we fix this problem? Do you know what I mean? I I mean, I I don't even know what James Gunn Said I didn't even read what he said, but I already got fired for something. He said on twitter 10 or 15 years ago or something like that Can't the guy just say you know Like I'm embarrassed by what I said. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry. I offended people I'm gonna work to not offend people in the future. Like isn't that a more sane way to deal with that

We live in strange times social media is everything now You know, we learned a big lesson from the rosanne thing whether she did the ambient or not or whatever I have a problem. I have a dilemma right now. I have a dilemma that I'm 55. I'm gonna stand up comic. I have a podcast. I want to do comedy I'm not even the same person I was 10 years ago because I was on drugs 10 years ago right today I smoked pot like I was telling the audience in kansas city. I'm one of those guys that's sober, but not really Like I smoked pot I'll eat an edible if you have it from time to time to be sure but a vicar and I'll fucking pop it

It's not that I'm gonna eat these things all the time but uh I'm definitely not the same person. I even was 11 years ago I tell leave we had this podcast 11 years ago This podcast would have never made it because I wouldn't have showed up at six in the morning Right. I was too paranoid to leave the fucking house at six in the morning So I don't like that. I don't like what's going on in that room where

Somebody could come up. That's why when I do this podcast. I tell people Everything I've done right I think that's the only way to bulletproof yourself. You know what I mean? You're a very open person You have to in today's world. I knew that I knew that this was gonna trigger some people So before anybody would say something I might as well say and it makes me vulnerable. I want you to know about my life for two reasons. I want you to know about my life And I want you to know that no matter what dilemma you get yourself out into you get yourself out

Yeah, I'm no fucking five beta kappa You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna five beta kappa I quit high school and I got left back in the seventh grade and somewhere and now that I figured it out I never left I kept getting on that fucking stage. I didn't give a fuck that I didn't go to Montreal. I didn't give a fuck what you thought I'm telling you that I'm gonna do this and I kept doing it. I kept showing up. That's all Yeah, I didn't do anything else that nobody ever did by the way. How the fuck did you get that? No, julia. I know nothing. No, no, no nothing

I'm living out here. I I dropped out of school when I was 14 I had a buddy Who I knew kind of who was an actor and I was like, you know If you can do that And like nobody's gonna give you shit about being in school because you're you're working Like I might as well try and do that and that's what I did and I I basically started working when I was 16 She's I this whole time all these years. I know you for some reason I thought you had grown up in New York state like you were a ps 19 type of guy and then

You were you went to julia like I always I don't know why I had put this fake Biography line like an actor cat. Yeah, we're like a fucking one of those sideways hats with the feathers Yeah, you do like a play in new york or something and somebody saw you, you know, it's uh I've had a lot of guys wrap up a lot of guys have come in and they were from new york for some reason but you went to Whatever school out here. Yeah, and then you got most the first thing you booked boy meets world First thing I booked 1993 Wow, and you didn't stop right after that. No, I did I did uh I did that for three years and and like in my off time from doing that. I did a bunch of commercials and I did um

The show tales from the Crip, which was fun back in the early 90s. Um, and then I did mole rats with kevin smith Like a year into that and then I started doing movies What do you like about the movies of tv? Now that I have kids I like tv because it's it's a schedule that you have some prediction on It's not like I'm going away for seven months and I'm going to do this movie in romania, which I've done. Um So I think tv and there's there's You know tv's another thing that with the with the with the advent of the internet And we have all this information

We also have so much television Where I would say like a huge percentage of television is better than a lot of the movies they're making now Which is really fascinating and the majority of the movies that they're making now are either You know, there's some cool independent films and then there's like, you know Transformers 6 that's kind of what you have in movies and and From when I was coming up in the 90s We had this renaissance of indie film with guys like quentin tarantino And I think all of that is now on television

Which is great That's crazy. You're saying that because television has grown leaps and bounds. Yeah, especially with streaming You see so much crazy fucking shit on streaming now that you could see tv taking a lock and a lot of places like just regular home TV, but I also know you from eddies Yeah, that's how we met originally and I still remember going in And reading from my name is around and sitting at the table read. Yeah, I'm very excited And it's funny how uh, you were a lot bigger than yeah, I mean

Your joint started at what at what weight did you say went down through with this shit, man? I I got together with my wife in You know, it was a weird thing because I I had girlfriends prior to my wife But there was always a feeling of not belonging really for whatever reason and then I got together with my wife in 2001 and uh, and Like one of the first things she did was say like, okay, we're together now. Now you're gonna get on a diet and that was like

That changed my life and and and I basically been on a diet since then to one form or another But it was I was probably uh, 500 pounds in 2001 And what are you at now? 300 beautiful and I've been lower than this a few years ago. I was obsessed with riding bicycles And I got down to 220 but I actually felt too thin at 220 I Went down to 268 my head felt really big

And my neck got really skinny and I was going on a lot of auditions as soon as I walk in they go Like what the fuck happened to you? Like yeah, you got the hip all of a sudden. Yeah, what the fuck happened? Like you're dying when people really look at you fucking weird and there's always been that weird thing that they hire The fat guy when you're fat, I mean you lose weight. You're done Like that's been the big thing in hollywood like you're fucking done. Yeah, you've maintained Well, I've gone back and forth. It was a weird thing because when I was at 220 Every day I would look at myself and see how fat I was but I was also racing bicycles So like the objective there is to be as a lightweight as possible

So I would be starving myself. I would only allow myself to eat while I'm riding the bike I was riding eight hours a day six days a week like gnarly rides from studio city to oxnard and back and and Then when I when I was like, I can't maintain this because number one I'm riding so much. I can't work and number two. I'm like nobody knows me I'm so thin now that people are when I go in to see them people are like who the fuck are you? We didn't want to meet with you. Where's the guy we wanted to meet with So then when I kind of let it all go

I gained weight and I was heavier than I am now And it was a real weird thing remembering being 220 and thinking I was So grossly overweight to being 320 and feeling great about myself You know what I mean? And like my wife just says I've body dysmorphia, which I might but like I don't feel uncomfortable in my body today you know So did you feel uncomfortable at 220 220? I felt pretty fat. Yeah I was nine percent body fat In the machine like I went and saw this guy doctor hyzinga because he was on the biggest loser and he was like the top

Sports nutrition guy and he fucking scanned me and he said you're done. Don't lose any weight and I was like, but I'm so fat And uh, yeah, it was weird. So when you looked in the mirror, you saw a fat guy Or you felt fat I I probably just felt fat because I don't know That I could have seen a fat guy. I don't know if that if that's totally honest, but but I definitely didn't Feel thin. I never got to a place In my entire life where I was like, that's it. I don't need to lose weight anymore What's a disease that you look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself fat?

And you keep uh going going going and then they have to take you to the hospital and Like I'm I assume that's what like anorexics experience. I think it's what you said earlier body dysmorphia Where you look at yourself. Okay. I had a friend growing up that She went from being a hot piece of ass to this fucking skeleton. Yeah But but but now it works both ways because I have the reverse body dysmorphia where at 350 I'm like Go to my wife like I look great. I don't need to fucking die anymore and she's like shut the fuck up Put down the cupcake. You're fat. It's funny when you get body dysmorphia. I get body dysmorphia when I travel

Yeah, when you see yourself in a foreign mirror. Yeah, and you walk out of a bathroom and you're naked you go Oh, shit I didn't see that what the fuck because you see what you your mind wants you to really see. Yeah You you see what your mind really wants you to see when you're looking at a mirror. Yeah, but your mind's not always right No, no, no don't they have skinny mirrors in hotels. Is that what it is? No, and there's some hotels that You you come out of the bathroom and you look at yourself and go. Wow. What the fuck is going on fuck is going on Oh in the bad way. Yeah Oh

You see that thing hanging over you don't see the house because in your house You see what you want to see. Yeah, gotcha It's a weird fucking thing. What diets have you gone on just high protein? I've done I I have since I was a little kid. I've done every diet that's existed. So you've Had this since oh, yeah, my whole life. Yeah, I've always been overweight. Um The the the the the way I eat that I find the most sustainable Is uh, I just got rid of Anything processed

So I only really eat fruit. No, I don't eat fruit. I only eat meat and vegetables That's it. And I don't even eat starchy vegetables. So I basically eat a small amount of salads and some meat Red meat. Yeah, I eat red meat. I eat a lot of chicken. I eat red meat turkey I eat any kind of meat fish. Yeah, I don't love fish, but I eat fish I mean you look yoke now. You look like you're lifting now. That's all I do. I lift weights and I go on hikes That's my exercise. How many days a week are you lifting? I lift five days a week. No shit Yeah, and I hike five days a week when I have time It's not and the lifting program is strength or muscle-based like the strength

Really, yeah, what kind of like deadlifts that type of shit Yeah, I do olympic lifts and then I'll I'll I'll become obsessed with one muscle that I want to increase the strength in like my triceps I I torn my bicep two years ago Doing a tv show And so I don't ever do any bicep exercises, but I do like Today I worked on triceps a lot for some reason and traps. I always think dudes with big traps look tough. So

I want big traps look the Greek body was always an x they devised it to be an x So the traps should be strong. Yeah, it's really look weird when you look at somebody like james con He's got no traps. Yeah the tricep the weird thing about the tricep is it's got three heads to it So when you really break down bodybuilding to the tricep You really have to hit the tricep from three different angles because it's really three quarters of your arm Yeah, a lot of people work on bicep work, but they really don't know that if they do like Like the the tricep extensions, you know these fucking things yeah dips with weight and then The exercise that people really overlook that really tears your fucking upper body is pullovers. Yeah

Pull your leg down. Yeah, and just pull over with a straight bar with a lot of weight five sets of six You do that for a year. You will get fucking yoked. Yeah, you squat a lot I I haven't done squats in a while because I had a knee issue a few years ago So I don't do a lot of squatting. Well, let's say after 40 you shouldn't really squat that much But you should do the machine. Yeah, I I tend to just do hikes for legs and And I find that my legs are so dead after a long hike that I I feel like that takes the place of actually doing resistance work with my legs

It does it's your own body weight. You look phenomenal, man, and I know you've been at it for a while I mean, I've been doing something something 16 17 years now Yeah, and how when do you go to jiu-jitsu now? Jiu-jitsu is very very rare. I haven't been to jiu-jitsu in a while. It's been it's been a while It's time you went back. Yeah, and I think go back and just Tell the guy what you want to do. You want to do a close guard game. Yeah And I think it's good for the mental thought. I think I agree I think it would be good to do jiu-jitsu till they put me in the casket

Yeah, just to go in there one day. We get choked is very important. Yeah getting choked is very important getting Know how vulnerable you are Do you remember that british dude who fought in the ufc used to work out when we were trained in hollywood? um, he had a mohawk I don't remember his name hardy. Maybe something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, james hardy james hardy That's cool guys. You're right. You're right that dude choked me out once and I knew he had me in a leg in a in a triangle choke But I thought I could get out of it and then I woke up. It was the most bizarre

I went out so fast. There was no time to tap I thought i'm gonna work and get out of this and then I was waking up It was real fucking weird and just so we don't get a bunch of stuff. It's dan hardy dan hardy. Yeah, good dude Nice dude. Great guy. Great guy. I remember going to uh, uh, uh, houston's Barbecue with him a couple times. Yeah, and eddie and all those guys That was a great group of guys when you guys were at the corner next to the Thai place. Yeah, that was fun You know, lee always asked me why don't you ever extend your horizons and either different places? The audio listeners should have seen them looking at me. I remember one night

I was trying to be a nice guy and just fit in. I think I got him off to blow something And I go, let me meet these guys from 10th planet and you guys just always go next door. They had at the Thai place the Thai place And I don't eat Thai food for many reasons. I figured let me go in there and give it a shot Maybe I'm being a fucking asshole And I'm not there three fucking minutes and I see a roach. Um, I saw two roaches One flew by me and one was up in the corner like what what have you been sitting or what? Lee I just want to know I just want to know

Inquiring mind want to know if you're sitting here with a girl, right? And you want to you know, do whatever you want to do and there's a cockroach You're eating food, but there's a cockroach in that corner, right? Like what and I'm not because they had the suspended ceiling And the roach came out of the ceiling. Oh What would you do you get up? Here's the thing and this is what I tell my kids. I got four kids The us da I guess has an allowance

for Roach parts maggots fecal matter in every bit of food at the supermarket You don't go through one meal without eating part of a roach or some bug or some rat shit or something like that And that's if they look at it think of the places you went to over here in victory and fucking You're eating some some you're eating food and you can you can you can taste the kid that the kid's tears

Who lost his cock the spanger? He says and upsets me because I used to go to get dumplings in korea town and he said look for one straight cat I dare you to find one straight cat nothing Dogs parakeets there ain't an animal that's you know, I don't it's so weird every time I and I gotta tell you this This is the truth Today I went to string train and I had to do something at 12 and I didn't have time So I went and I got chicken and broccoli That's as harmless as I could get at the time of time place. No, I do not stand

I can't fuck with chicken and broccoli because it's got sugar in it at the time place This I tell them at the not the chinese place at home take the sugar out and just the white wine or whatever And I gotta tell you something. This is a great place to have a couple dishes to the sensation I gotta tell you something whatever i'm eating chicken at a chinese restaurant I know i'm getting something else Something else is in there parakeet Other pigeon there's something else in there like they give you some chicken But those pieces of meat that you really

Can't really recognize a little darker a little darker than usual They just throw a couple things in there like they don't get if I actually ever found out that I ate something like that That's when I lose 100 pounds because I just wouldn't eat I can't I I have to put that out of my mind No, you have to assume that yeah, it's a great thing you said to me. I love food so much I want to eat pigeons. I want to eat parakeets. I want to eat all of it That's you're opening my horizons my food's so limited you tell me there's a place serving great parrot I'm in oh my god. There's all these places when I was a kid. There was a place called the maikai We used to go to the maikai. I had a fucking tremendous uh buffet chinese buffet. Yeah

And it was stab in the middle behind the maikai was a cemetery A fucking cemetery behind the maikai. We were going to maikai. That was where I saw kids I used to have a buddy roger that used to we'd catch him at the maikai before Giant games he'd be getting fucking tuned up and he owned the bartender. I figured what the bartender's name was doesn't matter But when we walk in he goes sit down have a drink and he gets this is how tuned up He had the bartender. He'd go to jail for doing this. He called the bartender and go Bend over the bartender like this and he go ha and he just karate chopped in the neck He'd go to fucking jail for that thing. Yeah, they just throw you out for fucking racism

He would just give the guy like a 10. Here you go. Come on. Show him the neck And he just karate chopped the guy and the guy would take in the neck We have him one time. He went they had spare ribs I know all you could eat fucking buffet that were delicious. They were big spare ribs, but they cut them in half So you could eat me and my buddy went in there one time like pick up the fucking one side As we were walking with the tray the chinese guy came out stop stop We dine and dashed in there 80 times growing up I can't tell you the amount of damage how many times I went to my with my mother to the mic

Dog one day they went in there and they found that the meat was all cats They found the cats hanging up upside down And the grass they were putting in the fucking food was the grass in the cemetery Like these people were just fucking torturing people Thank god I was 12 and 15 when I went in there your stomach is like a billy goat Like you don't even know what the fuck you're eating But I'm sure I ate animals and alligator meat and shit now all those years you were uh You were with jujitsu or whatever you made a great point before you

You were fucking you hit it right in the spot. You know, you know, I enjoyed jujitsu and everything, but it's also 2018 you know And I always go back to that scene in indiana jones Where either the guy has the sword or the new chucks or whatever and he comes out and he does all this thing In indiana jones without fucking Even looking takes his gun out and shoots the guy and puts the gun back in this whole room walks away or whatever There's a scene in that I think jujitsu

is amazing exercise And amazing techniques for specific situations If I'm walking back to my car I'm just gonna avoid people And if somebody gets close to me I don't want to Roll around with on the ground with him if I don't know who's around me

I mean we talked about this you and I about social anxiety Constantly thinking about who's around me And how are you going to guarantee if somebody blindsides you? That he doesn't have three friends there. So you you take him down into guard One of their friends could tee off on your head or maybe he's got a knife Those are a lot of variables for MMA It's amazing If you're walking around in your life on a mat

and You know that dude doesn't have fucking you know Mercer or some other skin disease and you're comfortable rolling around with him and you want to challenge each other that's great But I don't know about it In in the day and age where everybody's got guns and knives and and friends waiting around the corner And I don't go out to situations very often where I'm around many people because I don't like those situations

So I'm just never going to get into a fist fight like that where I would need it. Do you know what I mean? I understand hold that thought we'll put on Tony Bennett. Let me go. I'm over 50. So I gotta pee every four years Let me go take a quick pee and we'll continue on that thought I Want to be around To pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart Some somebody twice as smart As I

A somebody who Will swear to be true as you used to do with me Who'll leave you to learn That misery loves company Wait and see I mean I want to be around To see how he does it when he breaks your heart to bits Let's see if the puzzle fits

So Fine And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet As I sit there applauding from a Thinking about something yesterday I got home at 8 30 in the morning And there was a seminar for jiu-jitsu at 12 side control seminar And there was also a brutal crane at 12 and I had a couple options, but I only slept three hours a night before

I slept till about 1 30 and my wife came home We had lunch and she goes the baby got invited to a swim thing Do you mind if we go and I go no, no, no, no, you know, I I can do a thousand things I went over to cryotherapy and I went over to the weed store and I filled up the week the car for the week and I made notes and Uh, I was still bored and I said, you know, it's four o'clock. They're not gonna be home till five So I put boxing gloves on And I got a boxing bag in my backyard and I went out there and I started hitting it

So I doing push-ups and sit-ups. I got a kettlebell and I did a couple swings Then I started stretching and I get up and do muay thai drills and stuff And as I was putting everything away, I was like, you know what man, that was uh 35 minutes I put it down on weight wenches and my t-shirt was really wet And I'm like, how lucky am I? I'm 55 And I'm able To move around what I know now like it's it's it's helpful for me for comedy To move around I walked into a jiu-jitsu student

Listen when I met you at Eddie and said I love Eddie But I always thought you jiu-jitsu were for people who had the desire to stick up my ass You know what I'm saying? I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you. I don't know what that means if somebody gets insulted I always thought that if you wanted to roll it roll around with a guy It's like somebody come up to me and tell me they got a man crush. What's next? You want to suck my dick? You know what I'm saying? But I walked into a jiu-jitsu studio when I was 49 years old and I fell in love and what really

Made me fall in love with it was How bad the shape I was in And how ill-prepared I was In case something did go down. Yeah, I don't want to be a UFC fighter I do not want to be a tough guy. I do not want to be a bully. I don't want to be none of those things But I always want at least last Two minutes sure if you're kicking me and I could at least get the underhook and grab your belt and spin you over Jiu-jitsu paid off for me. You know, 100% I'm not knocking. No, no, no

If uh, if I could kick a motherfucker really hard in the leg, which I can it's 300 pounds coming at you I've been kicking since I was fucking five. Yeah, all I got are two good kicks But if I connect with those two kicks and I could get to my car I'm good. Yeah at this age at this age Uh When You have to take care of yourself at this age, you know, when you're gonna have 15 or a few years and everything changes everything changes, you know That's why I read up on my jiu-jitsu over 40 and I was doing it all wrong

Like mondays you just have to be drilling and you roll once or twice and you leave Wednesday you come back you drill but you roll three times then friday you drill less and roll and then you take two days off That's over 40 jiu-jitsu. Yeah, and with people that are not going to get you in heel hooks And knee knee locks and all that shit because you don't need that. You cannot be unemployed. No. Yeah You cannot be that important. Yeah, so it's not It's there's all these things to these aspects, but i'm happy that i'm prepared now What are you prepared for joey to beat me up? I didn't say that no I'm prepared to just get to my car before the cops get there

Or before something works could happen before it escalates even worse. I also believe in the power of the gun I also believe I just have the felonies and I'll never get a license But from time to time a friend takes me to shoot now and you know, I've been working back when I was a kid I want to be a hitman. Yeah, you talk you spoke about two things today I want to be a hitman, but the most thing I want to be was a pickpocket. Yeah, uh, there was a movie Michael saras and james cobra didn't call harry in your pocket. Yeah It's about hitting uh pickpocket to the the track or the airport or something, you know So when you mention that guy's name

Before uh, this is what he's amazing that guy. So what's his name? apollo robbins apollo and you just watch his he's got a ted talk and on his fucking ted talk He's on camera the whole time because it's ted and so they're filming him He he does he pulls off some crazy shit, which you which I then I watched his ted talk five times because He's just misdirecting you the whole time while the cameras are on him and and shit's happening that you're not noticing

And then at the end he points it all out and you're like holy fuck That guy that guy being a pickpocket loose in los vegas. He's robbing everyone He's robbing everyone blind and then he's having to put on disguises because eventually the casino figures out Oh that interaction that that's when that guy got robbed because people go and complain eventually when they get robbed Um, and I believe eventually the casinos hired him to say what do we look for help us find the pickpockets He's amazing guy it's uh nuts that A couple weeks ago

I was looking for my name is ero, you know and I asked Lee is it still on netflix and he goes no it's on hulu and I watched a few episodes And you did something and I laughed you and your fucking crazy brother and then Two days later here you are on blow they've been playing on HBO lately or something And it's the part where you tuna runs into the fucking thing. I go look how big he is and That was right right before I turned my life around to that'd be 98 99 or something like that I mean you were up there and then I went online And you're talking about being that your sister in law's concert and

You had your back against the wall and I thought you were goofing at first No, I thought you were goofing around at first and I hit you back up and I go Do you suffer from that social shit too? And you're like, yeah, I'm looking at the doors and My backs against the wall. What's going on and how long have you had it? You know, I think that That has been a really helpful way to to deal with it if I'm at a concert or something like that Which I would just rather not be at honestly, but I got kids and a wife and people who like being out in public Then I can just put all of my attention on Okay, if something happens here, how do we get out?

If I look around do I see any obvious threats? Do I see any unobvious threats like what's going on? And as long as I keep myself busy with that, I'm not I'm not I'm okay. I'm kind of fine. You know as long as I have that thing to do but just being Comfortable with myself in the presence of a lot of people. I'm just not comfortable since what for my whole life I've never been comfortable. You know, I used to like to go to punk rock concerts a lot and there was something about the energy and the acceptance at a punk rock concert because

There was no There was no single group There was you know Like you go to a hip-hop concert and maybe you're wearing the wrong colors And then it's an issue and you've got a problem that didn't exist for from what I experienced in punk rock in the 80s and and early 90s You just go And you have fun and you wind up a little bit bruised but exhilarated

And and that was the closest I got to being comfortable in a crowd But there was some violence there. You know what I mean? Like there was some over violence Happening and that was the only way that I really felt comfortable Which is Kind of depressing. I guess what you think about a couple people got smacked So you felt right at home. Maybe maybe they got smacked. Maybe I got smacked, you know I was just more comfortable with that With knowing exactly what's gonna happen

And and what it's gonna be like and and going in there and enjoying it I haven't really enjoyed a concert since I was a teenager They just make me terribly uncomfortable being around all those people What about after the situations in Vegas and Orlando, Florida? Does that add to your Honestly, you'll no that doesn't bother me. I'm not worried about I'm not worried about getting shot I'm more I'm more just uncomfortable Being surrounded by people than I am. It's not that I'm scared of getting shot um

I've been to Vegas since then I've been to Florida. I that I don't know that that doesn't really worry me too much No, how are you in front of a camera? A cameras is I'm I'm pretty comfortable in front of a camera when there's 40 people on a set Well, I'll tell you what if we do a table reading we sit down and and we're we're just reading In front of the crew. I'm I'm terrifically uncomfortable But once we're doing it and the cameras there Those people don't exist. It's just What we're it's just this universe that we're pretending into existence. You know what I mean?

So it doesn't bother me. I was having a hard time with stand-up at the store, especially anxiety Yeah, being in front of a crowd like that. I said that I can't especially And I couldn't figure out why I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on. Why would I've been going to this place? I went in there To showcase for mittie. Sure. I'm already out of the weeds Why am I going in here 20 years after stand-up comedy that I've been doing it? This is my home and why is it that's why I walk up five steps? This whole feeling comes over my head

So I did what everybody else in America does I went and got xanaxes and I would take one Soon as I hit the comedy store my heart starts pumping And I would take one or two and as soon as I look for a safe passage Once I don't see a safe passage That's when I panic. Yeah, right now that window has those little blinds on it. They're fucked up That's safe passage for sure. I know that that's safe passage Like when I go give blood down at bob hope medical center I don't let them take blood out of the room with no windows. Yeah, because there's no safe passage for me

I've been doing comedy all my life. Why does this hit me now? Yeah, where is this coming from now for you to type that that night? I was like this guy does fucking these mother You know, you know what I said with johnny depp and 40 fucking people Yeah, now you want to get this social anxiety now, but you've always had it Yeah, I've never felt comfortable around around a lot of people like that. I've always that that's safe passage I've found It's exactly the same. I have to have I'm I will literally stand in a corner until I can figure out But it's got for me

It's slightly more literal because I want to find an exit how If I have to get out of here, how am I going to do that? And I'm not worried about being shot. What if the building catches fire? you know I don't know. I could it's all fantasies constantly going in my head I just want to know how I can get the fuck out of there if I have to now when you went to jiu-jitsu the first time And somebody mounted you how did you feel? That's not a good feeling. Oh my god. That is not a good feeling especially when you have

That little thing sure I made mistakes in the beginning of jiu-jitsu and I'm like, I'll take him edible And go to jiu-jitsu. Oh My god, no good, huh? The first time somebody mounts you and you go to hip escape And hip mumbum. They don't go nowhere. I'd have to tap And I'd run outside and take my G top off And I'd have to pee. Yeah like that's how much

Fear I would put myself through The first month and a half of jiu-jitsu if I don't go to jiu-jitsu for three or four days now When I go back, I still have fear walking and that's why when I go into jiu-jitsu the first time I just put my gi on and roll around with somebody Yeah, roll around get beat up breathe heavy just to get as a warm-up just to It's a warm-up for my fear. Sure It's a warm-up for my fear when I go to a comedy club now I don't bring the xanax with me. No more little baby. Whatever the fuck 1.5s. They give you

I forced myself to talk to people This is how I got out of fear. Yeah, I forced myself to talk to people and I find something to fucking aggravate the fuck out of me Yeah, for me to get that little spark of anger going. Well, I think that's that's very smart Very smart. Yeah, anything that can irritate you. I I've honestly found joey through Through however many years I've been dieting and I've been sober for a long time Which I would rather not be honestly if I'm being like completely honest I would but I need to be you understand, but I've found that everything worthwhile

Is painful And if you get into that and you somehow find a way to enjoy that pain and that suffering Then you're just better off you you earn the outcome You know you go into a comedy store and you find something to irritate you Who wants to go around being irritated? Nobody wants that's not just two minutes before I go on stage, of course Two minutes before I go on stage. I have to find something from my past That fucking guy's got sandals on that motherfucker

You know that the other day some guy walked past me. I was pissed because he had body odor I'm like, that's a homicidal just to myself. I called him a homicidal and I giggled and there you go. Boom. I won the war Yeah, I just beat the war on myself. Yeah, just cracking that fucking joke I even called lee and said something about the homicidal. We were howled He goes, well people gotta look at it like you're being racist. Well, no, he was a white dude But I could tell he was a fucking homosy that could smother hummus on his neck Kind of like when he has hummus to fly chase him in here all the time Because they fuck and do your neck. But last night I was blown away

I was blown away last night because it was uh As the girls were walking in I was scrolling I always go to see what's on 60 minutes And then I scrolled down and it was the lap autopsy. So have you ever watched it at all? No, it's called autopsy the final hour was uh, I saw Amy Winehouse I saw a Whitney Houston really died of she didn't die of cocaine over those She died because her body was numb And when she got into a hot tub the tub cooked her. Oh, really? Yeah, like the hot water just basically cooked her Right, but she couldn't feel it. You know, you really learned about George Michael

But last night they had Chris Cornell and I just had or like that had the couple weeks or they had the last days of James gandalfini, right? And you know, you got to watch that one. They were heavy dudes. You know what I'm saying? But this one was very interesting First of all, it said that he found the box of beatle albums. Let me tell you something You're too young. I think you guys are too young. Does anybody remember beatle people? No, like people who really are into the beatle. I mean, I know people who are really into the like I told the story out here Before John Lennon got shot. It was a different country

Music couldn't you couldn't it? Bruce Springsteen born to run. That's a great album. Yeah, wait till the Beatles get back together You know, everything was that right? There was always one motherfucker in the room that always had to go. Yeah, that's good. But Wait till the Beatles grab back together And you would have to sit there and take it because they were the kings at that time Sure when John Lennon got shot 20 people were fucking hysterical Like fuck you and the Beatles because there was all these beatle fans that went crazy, right? You know, nobody remembers really when John I love John Lennon. I ain't saying nothing bad about John Lennon

But when he got shot there was a lot of things in New York and I remember going to New York and seeing these people fucking crying And I couldn't understand like I like John Lennon. I like fucking That one solo album even all that shit, but Jesus these people fucking like upset You know, so now I I could understand The Chris Cornell thing because I got upset when Chris did that I got a little upset. So I watched This thing last night and they showed how he was a big beatle guy

and his parents were Alkes and He was obsessed with the Beatles and he just when he was 13 14 he was already doing fucking drugs right and When you do pcp, he was doing what I was doing pcp and fucking angel dust and Smoking weed and tripping. He was a big tripper and at that age when your mental state when your your mind is not even developed Our minds weren't even developed. Yeah, it's dangerous. That's not bueno, you know, that's not bueno So your receptors freeze and all this shit. They're explaining all this stuff about what's serotonin than this and that how Once you do all this stuff, you know the time of Chris Cornell's death. He was completely sober

Right, there was no pills found in them. There wasn't he taking Xanax something. No, there was nothing in there There was nothing no alcohol No, nothing is autopsy. Right. They were saying that he was slurring up on stage and stuff like that and they just said that It's like Bourdain his suicide really bothered me because we're from the same neighborhood. Yeah, that's a Catholic fucking neighborhood. Gee They don't believe in taking swan dives. Yeah, so for him to take a swan dive So I started a little narrowing down what we had in common, which is drug use prior young

Drug use so for a guy like me It scares the shit out of me, you know, my wife goes to bed at nine. I said in living room by myself By 11 o'clock. I got a noose, you know what I'm saying, but they were talking about Cornell's mind all those years he wrote pretty noose and Fell on black days talking about his depression. So they just said that his depression Got the better half of him that night. Right. That's why he killed himself Well, I'm petrified now now with all these I get though, you know, I saw a lot of death as a kid. That's a little ptsd ish, you know, yeah

And the drug use, you know, that that was eminent that was and I want to I was telling Lee when I was 16 or 17 I wanted a year one time where I did acid every other day every day. I was selling microdip I was selling it. So I would my tolerance Was built from when people were taking one hit of acid I was taking four. Yeah You you familiar at all with any of the tenants of AA? You know You familiar with AA at all. Yes, absolutely. Like one of their principles is taking a day at a time. Absolutely for me quite often

I have to I have to Contract out to just getting through a moment You know and and and if I can decide to get through a moment I know that there will be a moment where I'm no longer in whatever state of suffering that I'm in Whether it's An urge to do something. I know logically to be the wrong thing to do like drugs or alcohol whether it's Just being overly emotional about something

Wanting to make any decision based on emotion I just get if you just get through the painful moment, you know Shit will open up You know what I mean? I was telling Lee a couple to him. You know, Mitchie sure died and We took out a bull's den and we had a podcast on sunday night and that was the night of her wake down at the store And I got so much anxiety about thinking of going to that wake and seeing all those people

I just shit the bed. I just decided not to go but it was it wasn't like I went home And I was going through this fucking mental state like just this confusion, you know, she did so much for me I would look if I didn't go down there But I knew if I went down there a guy was going to go down there That would pick a fight with him where he's going to pick a fight with me something's gonna happen I was shooting that Netflix thing. So I said, let me avoid this whole situation. But that night I did that whole situation drug-free Like beside the edible like I didn't do anything else that night

I you at what I'm saying is at at that situation when I usually have those little my heart speeds up I would usually take two of those little fucking babies annexes and smoke a bunch of pot That night I let myself work it out You know, I was even I even found myself sweating at one point Letting my mind work it out, you know, like you said before pro if you're a christian, you know, we're not well perfect We all have flaws, you know, yeah, and I know That I got something mentally that's not right I mean if not I would have become a doctor instead of a stand-up comic

The chemical balance is not right when you become a fucking stand-up comic something's not right But I respect it. It's like cocaine now It's like when you're in a rehab and you come out And you say to yourself, I understand what cocaine is Once you understand it, you know what it is. Yeah, I know what cocaine is. I know what heroin is I know what oxycontin is. I know I could smoke 55 joints And live my life, right, you know, so for me I've considered going clean, but I wouldn't make it. I'm not I'm not insisting. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm too fucking. Oh, it's it's The weed makes me feel like I'm doing something. I'm not supposed to be doing some okay with that, right? It's not robbing banks. It's not breaking into people's houses Yeah, people over there with a flashlight. It just makes me feel like I'm still sure that little criminal I was just a weed. No, I have I have nicotine and caffeine for that very reason because I need to have some vice They're absolutely yeah, so you what you do is you pick the worst one for you You know Lee got on twitch and you got to play games and stuff like that Yeah, I started this week and Lee was asking me to do a play games and I go

Yes, and no No, when I was a kid that I didn't have I didn't like Monopoly But after hearing Rogan one day Rogan was hooked Rogan was fucking addicted to quake It's like 20 hours a night of quake He would go home just to play quake in those days like see you and go see you and I would you know call him for days And what happened dog? I went into a foxhole. This is when he wasn't getting high at all nothing So it was like your whole life is basically a transfer of addiction. Yeah, if you have an addicted personality

It's just a transfer of addictive. Yeah, and you end up in the one that causes the least For you if if you're if you're on a healthy path, right? If you're not on a healthy path, you wind up listen if you came to me and you don't listen to me I don't want to do coconut. I want a small crack. I don't want to suck fucking midget dick But I tell you what I want to do. I want to eat cheeseburg. I Won't eat two cheeseburgers a day and in the middle. I'll have a fucking slim-fast shake right lunch Sounds like a decent dad. Yeah, that's what I want you. I would just want you to be happy. Yeah Happiness is the whole key to this, you know, there's people that take sobriety and they turn it into being unhappy

That's the case then find the happy medium. Yeah. Yeah, listen 94 Again, I got out of prison in 90 something and 95. I got this opportunity to become a comic and Before anything I did a mental inventory in those days. I used to do the abling can close You know, you take a sheet of paper and put a line down the middle and put the positive effect and the negative effect Yeah, and start writing. Let's be honest here, but you got to be totally honest to do this shit What is the effects and I came up with something? I said, you know what? I'm not gonna stop someone called this bullshit lived life that I'm living Going on a night meeting and then staying sober for three days and for one day walking around confused. I'm an addict

Nothing I could do but I tell you what I can I get on stage every night. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get on stage every night I'm not allowed to do cocaine so I get on stage, right? And that oh and listen it fucking works. We're here today. Are we not? We're here today. You have to you have to have your barrier So you have to do what works for you eventually you and then I saw the movie ray And I said that he did heroin till 63 and here I am 44 and I'm like is that what I want. I Want to blow my I'm gonna I want to get successful to continue doing cocaine so I could quit when I'm 63 That's not life, right because when you're addicted to something that as you know, it's a prison. Yeah, it's a prison

It's a mental prison. You know that sure so That's that's why I'm happy that I'm fucking sober you're sober we deal with these Social issues. Yeah, but we keep them like I hate going to fucking Hollywood things. I yeah, I'm like I'm done Basically borderline. That's it. That's it. Yeah, I'm done like I went to one Because I had done three episodes. They're very nice. I Said let me go. I took my wife. It was a date night, you know You have a five-year-old yet You gotta give your wife a stab and get her out of the house

If not, they just become a fucking mom and they go into fucking mommy fucking to talk all the time, you know Yeah, so I try to take her out as much as I can and we went and I Had again my back was against a wall Looking for an exit strategy. I couldn't hear what people were saying to me Yeah, I also just feel so out of place in Hollywood things like I have no business. No business being there. No Yeah The Hollywood things are particularly rough. I think they're rough. You have to be And like you would go to a Hollywood thing and you you did eight episodes of the show you're obviously part of the cast

But then you see me there and you go ain't Joey. How are you good to see you and you look at me and go I did eight episodes of 12. Did you do some of the episode? Yeah, I'm like, no, I'm just here to say hello. You're like What are you doing here? I Worked on the show by the way, I I could never have that point of view because I'm always wondering what the fuck I'm doing I'm doing it. Yeah, I Why am I here? I did the show right and I still don't know why and I don't know why I'm here I can't imagine why the fuck you're here. Yeah Ethan it's been a pleasure man. Oh, it's been a fucking pleasure. What what are you working on now?

I have a show on Hulu that is is done. We did 20 episodes. It's called chance and We're finished with it, but I I'm particularly proud of it I thought it was really good a couple couple slow episodes in the beginning But it's just taking its time and then it warms up really fun right now. I'm doing a show called The Santa Clarita diet for Netflix. I'm doing this season You're a bad motherfucker. How many years so far and say fuck 24 can you believe that 25 25 maybe I'm not even totally sure I think I'm 20 this year. Yeah, do we get our pensions yet?

Yeah, 55 55 I get my pension I could go for an early pension right now if I want to leave it there. I don't want it No, I don't know my discount from Denny's either. I'm still slinging dick at 55 Who gives a shit? Oh, yeah, I got four kids to put through college. I'm gonna be working until I'm 90 Good. Yeah, cuz when you fucking stop using it you lose anyway. That's how at least you're looking forward to you look great You too. It was great to see you. I'm happy you came on the church and thank you, brother Yeah, that's fine. I'm gonna promote anything time you want to just talk anytime you want to get out of house You know, you're welcome here. You're fucking family. Yeah, great to see you. Don't forget next Thursday

I'm at a Levity live in Huntsville, Alabama, and then Friday and Saturday I'm at Nashville Zaini's two shows on Friday two shows on Saturday Ticket to our on sale right now and that's basically it. I'll see you motherfuckers Thursday morning. Don't forget Always my motherfucking heart on it for all your supplements whether it's alpha brain shroom tech shroom tech sports shroom tech immune New mood, you know the elk jerky. Listen, I love those guys number two Go to honor calm right now and press in church and get 10% off delivered right to your fucking crib You don't have to leave the goddamn house and like I said before if you're thinking I get into jiu-jitsu or you're in jiu-jitsu You want a tough dependable ghee that they can hang off here? Whatever Fuji sports, whether it's a 96

Dollar all season light one because they're lightweight. It's not like you have a fucking Some guy hanging on you. You know I'm saying these are lightweight It's like having a t-shirt on you the elemental gear is tremendous that the super Rito's tremendous the cycle point to go to Fuji sports calm and press in church bam and then the right there motherfuckers. I love you I love eating. I love the fucking Christ killer and I love me too, but most importantly. I love you motherfuckers See you Thursday morning tip top Magoo ready a fucking stab a motherfucker in the neck kick that mule There you go motherfuckers have a great day in the church of what's happened now

Mother Tell your children not to walk my way Tell your children not to hear my words what they mean what they say Oh And if you want to find out who I am, I can show you what it's like. And if you want to find out who I am, I can show you what it's like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But I'm bound to see a light, and if you want to find out who I am, I can show you what it's like.

Till I'm bleeding, but I'm bound to see a light, and if you want to find out who I am, I can show you what it is. Damn! But I'm bound to see a light, and if you want to find out who I am, I can show you what it's like. Till I'm bleeding, but I'm bound to see a light, and if you want to find out who I am, I can show you what it's like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no.