Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #616 - Eddie Bravo and Sam Tripoli

Episode Date: September 10, 2018

Eddie Bravo, the founder of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu and the Eddie Bravo Invitational; and Sam Tripoli, a comedian and one of the hosts of the "Tin Foil Hat" podcast, both join Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.    This podcast is brought to you by:   23andme.com - 23andMe is a DNA testing service that can offer you insights on to how your DNA can influence your weight, sleep quality and much more. Order your 23andMe health and ancestry kit at 23andMe.com/church    MyBookie.com -  Use promo codeChurch to get up to a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000. Recorded live on 09/09/2018.
  

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You play, you win, you get paid. Crick that fucking mule leak, because we're not fucking around on Monday morning. Here we go. One-two. One-two, cock sucker. Stretch out, jump up and down. God gave you another day to be a fucking savage. Turn the track to the mule. Please, that's not as good as it goes. I want my fucking ears to bleed. What? Yeah. Turn to what's happening now, motherfuckers. You know that I'm two levels above you, baby. Fuck me, baby. I'm gonna make you love me, baby. You're crazy. Ain't gonna get you nine, but choke. And that jealousy is only gonna leave you. The only thing left now is God for these cats. And we ain't gonna know you too hard for these cats.

I'm gonna wait, because I'm too short for these cats. While they're making up facts, you're waking up flat. Are you fucking kidding me or what? Monday morning, motherfuckers. Hey, ladies, I'm out of ways. I'm back. That's as good as it motherfucking gets. I got Sammy Trips in this motherfucker. I got Eddie Broad on this motherfucker. I got Tin Foil. I got the Christ Killer, the original Jew of Jews. Happy Rosh Hashanah to you and your family, brother. Thank you very much, buddy. To you and your family.

Thank you very much, buddy. To you and your family. To you and your family. To you and your family. Happy Rosh Hashanah to you and your family, brother. Thank you very much, buddy. To you and all the Jewish community that's part of the church. Happy Rosh Hashanah got another year to be a bad motherfucking Jew. And don't let me see you driving a Volkswagen, you know what I'm saying?

You gotta have a little hate in your heart for those fucking Germans still, you know what I'm saying? Just a little bit. What's going on, Tin Foil family? Just killing it, dude. We're killing it. Thanks for having me on, dude. Thanks for having us on, dude. No, please, get on the mark. I want you to look good on the tape. Boom, there we go. Remember 20 years ago, somebody told you to get on the mark? Yeah. And you looked around like you didn't know what the fuck they were talking about.

Isn't that white tape on the ground? Yeah, get on your mark. They'll tell you to stand in and they put like a body double in there for two minutes. They put tape around you and they'll tell you to step into the mark and you keep fucking stepping. I didn't know what that meant when I did baseball. Oh, you didn't know what to mark, man? I had no idea. Wow. Can you imagine being on a fucking...

When I did the pilot for CBS, like, I was so bad. Like, you ever do a job and every day your lines got shorter and shorter? Like, when I started, I had like eight pages, then I went to five, then I went to two. Really? Then I went to one line and then I went to like a half a line. Like, what's it going to be? Like, did you go, what the fuck's going on? Did you go? No, because I knew I sucked and I was green around the gills.

But you still had enough to book it? I didn't book it. They saw me on stage in Seattle. Oh. And they booked me for a CBS pilot off a fucking stage in Seattle. That's amazing. And when I went to the table read, you know, when you go to a table read, you can fake the funk a little bit.

But once I got on the set, I didn't know what I was doing. Then I didn't say nothing to nobody. Then I booked the commercial. Then I booked baseball and I was basically a cokehead. And baseball like that, that's all I did every night. And I never forget them going step up to the market. You had a roller skate in. Remember my scene?

You have to roller skate in. By that part, I had robbed all the roller skates. There was no roller skates. That was size 11. They were all over at the Swiss chalet. Every day I would steal a new one. What'd you do with all the roller skates? I would take the roller.

They would put, you know, when you shoot a movie, you put your clothes in the room. Yeah. They would put my clothes in the room. And I'd park. This is when 9-11, pre-9-11. So if you knew the guards or they knew you from the comedy store or something, they let me park right next to the trailer every day. I don't know how I did it.

Looking back, that's how fucking crazy Motherfucker I was. And I would take my roller skates and I stopped it. Like the Swiss chalet off of like a Culver City, one of those, they used to have like one down there like, and I went in there and I was pulling like the old scams from the old days. Like, what are you doing? My uncle gave me a pair of roller skates that don't fit. And they looked at them and they're like, we'll give you $149 for them.

So I knew I would get $150 a day if I brought in roller skates. Oh my God. So every time I would work, I would steal somebody's roller skates from the set. And then I just started going, there was no cameras then. I would just go to the truck where the roller skates are. And I would just take a box of roller skates. If somebody would ask me, why do you have size 14? I want to, you know.

Who checks roller skates? Who checks roller skates? Bro, by the time I shot my scene, like I was like on the third week of showing up and not shooting. I would just go there basically to watch Jenny McCarthy, you know, and I watched those two guys. She's so hot. Who are the two guys that wrote that?

The guys from South Park. South Park. I had no idea who I was working with. People were kissing my ass, you know, bringing me sodas. I didn't know. And then I'll never forget that I went out and I got fucked up because I kept going in there just to hang out. Like I was shooting a movie, but they would make me come in at eight and it'd be eight

o'clock at night. And they go, oh, you go home now. And I go, when am I going to shoot? And they go, I don't know. Oh, that's the worst. So the night I go out, I stayed out till seven, snorting coke by the Hollywood sign with some crazy people after the store. And I had to go all the way to the forum, right?

That's where the forum to shoot. And when I got there, they were like, you're the first scene up. Like, I've been snorting coke till six. Dude. It's seven, 30. They called me in for rehearsal. Oh my God. And guys fell apart at the seams.

First of all, they couldn't find roller skates with me. They're like, where are you roller skates? I'm like, I don't know. You're like at Swiss chalet. I'm like, I don't know where my roller skates are. Every day, my roller skates are missing. So I got out of the roller skates. So if you watch the scene, I have to skate up.

Like I'm roller skating. And then he says a scene, a line. I say a line. And we both skate away. Oh, you didn't have skates. No. What a great actor you were because I never knew that. So when we went up to each other, like, dog, I was going back to back.

And the guy's going cut. It took maybe four hours to shoot that. That's how bad I was. Oh, you're so funny. When they said cut, you could tell, like, when I walked away, they all threw their fucking speakers on the forum. Like, that's how bad I was. And when I got the call to how many guests do you want to come bring to the premiere?

I was like, who is this? This is Johnny Bananas from Paramount or whatever company who did the movie. We want to know how many people are you bringing to the premiere? I go, premiere what? And they're like, baseball. Because when I left there, I'm like, they cut me. That's how bad I was. Like, that's how crazy bad I was.

I don't remember the movie. Did you make it in the movie? Yeah, see what you got. See what you got. Dude, so would you just go all over town selling roller skates? Swiss L.A.'s got to be like, why is this guy got 90 roller skates? At that place that was played against sports. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Play against sports and give me, like, 75 bucks. They don't give a fuck. They're a brand new roller skates. I didn't give a fuck. It was two packages from Chewy and a 20 for the bartender to drink. That's how you do math. Yeah. You need 60 bucks.

Yeah. So we went to do that. And went to do later on with some crazy chicky bump into and won that and then 20 bucks to tip hot. That's your philosophy. Wonderful. The craziest party I've ever been to was it was a Halloween party by the South Park guys.

Matt Stone. Yeah. Parker. Dude, they're brilliant. Those two. I got invited. That was just 20 years. They're still on TV.

But here we go. I don't know if this is it for sure. Undergoing a life-saving operation tonight. The fans here, of course, all wearing yellow shoes and support for this brave little boy. And his hero, Joe Cooper, promising to hit three home runs, a promise that could mean a difference between life and death for this brave little boy. Hey, Pete! Oh, shit.

It's not a good move tonight. Look how young you look. I don't know, but he's one for 11 and he smells like Christian Slater. A hoop in the home run circuit. Getting ready to take his shot. I'm supposed to have... Nailed it, dude. Nailed it.

I'm supposed to have roller skates. It's the second home run of the game. You can take this off now. I'm through with embarrassing myself. Hello. Bro, that's after an all night. That's snorting coke from 11.30 to about 5.45. I lived off of Riverside right in Studio City.

The person I was doing coke would drop me off. I went upstairs. I laid out in bed with my girlfriend. I still remember her getting up. Going, how did you sleep last night? I was like, oh, it was a great night last night. The next thing you know, she's driving me to the forum in traffic. And I get there like, you're the first one up.

You know the first movie, Orgasmo? Did you ever see it? Yeah. That was the first movie. The villain in it. I forget what his name was in the movie, but it was like a karate guy and there's like a karate scene. I went to Jiu Jitsu with me at John Jocks.

We got our black belts. Really? His name is David Dunn and he was in the movie. And we were pretty good friends. And this is like 1998. He calls me up on Halloween days. 1998 goes, dude, do you want to go to South Park Halloween party? Oh my God.

And I thought, fuck yeah. He goes, dude, they gave me two invites and he was going to bring a chick and he had one extra ticket. He goes, it's tonight, but you have to have a costume. And I didn't have a costume ready. So I said, fuck it. I went to the Halloween store on Hollywood Boulevard, you know, that big Halloween store. I went in there and my plan was, the only thing I could think of is to get a, I had

a Chinese hat, right? One of them Chinese hats because I went to Coachella and I had that. And I go, you know what? I'll go to this party as a Chinese guy with a machine gun. You know what I'm saying? I thought I was going to be, so I went to the Halloween store. I couldn't find a machine gun. Turns out they're illegal.

You can't have machine gun, like toy machine guns. So that fucked up my idea. I'm like, fuck, what could I do now? So I'm like walking around the Halloween store. And then I see those Billy Bob fake teeth. Yeah. And I looked at that and I thought, shit, maybe I could be a homeless dude. I got those teeth and then I had this idea.

I'm going to be a fucking panhandler homeless guy. I had the teeth fucked up Billy Bob teeth. I went to pick and save that was on Vine and Sunset. It's gone now. They just knocked down, but there was a pick and save there. I went there because I needed like a, like a, like a Bud Light hat. You know what I was like? I'm going to get a, so I found a Coors ice hat.

Oh, so I found it's like 12 bucks and I needed to make it really dirty. So I scraped it on the ground, got it all dirty. I just wanted to be a panhandler with the teeth, Coors ice hat all. And then my neighbor, he was a construction worker. He was a plumber. So he had dirty, nasty shirts. So I got one of his fucking hellified stained shirts and put on some dirty jeans. And I had these Reeboks from when I used to dye carpet for a living.

Instead of cleaning the carpet, you put dye and it's, it's like for people who don't want to buy new carpet, you could dye your fucking carpet. Yeah. Doesn't really work, but I was in the industry and I had Reeboks that had like nine different layers of dye on them. And I took off the, I took off the shoe strings. And so I had the, and then I got a gigantic crescent wrench and I just put it in my back pocket.

And they were going to come pick me up and like, fuck, I'm a panhandler. Fuck it. I'm like this bum, right? So I wanted to test it out. So they show up, they pull up in my parking lot and I told, I told David, I go, Hey, listen, I'm going to come out with my, my costume. Don't tell your girl what's up. I'm just going to try to scare her.

So they pull up and, and, and I walk up and this, you know, I just went up and started asking for change. Like right up to the car and she freaked out because she saw the teeth. You see four teeth and I'm like, I look like a dirty panhandler. So she freaked out and I thought, okay, cool. This is going to work. So I go to this fucking party. It's right there.

It's at the Coyote studios next to where the Trader Joe's used to be on, on Santa Monica. Remember the Trader Joe's on Santa Monica and like Gardner. It was a Trader Joe's from your old gym. Exactly. Where I tapped Keen Ivory Waynes. Yes. You guys know that, but I tapped them.

So there's that. Exactly. So there's the Coyote studios there, right? Right. So they had a fucking party, dude. I don't know how much money this, this party costs, but these are like four gigantic studios, gigantic four of them. And each room was one room.

We just had a hundred couches, you know, and then the next room. Let me back up a little bit. We show up and I don't know which one is Trey Parker and which one's Matt Stone. Matt, which one is the one with Afro? That's Matt or Trey? Trey's the blonde hair guy. So the blonde hair guy, he's, he's in like a Batman, like a superhero outfit. It looks like Batman, but it has E on his chest and he was Captain E.

He was Captain E and under his utility belt, dude. He had like fucking $10,000 worth of fucking E on his utility belt. Really? That's right. That's a great party. Oh, dude. It was the greatest party I've ever been to in my motherfucking life. So we show up and everybody's, everyone that's, you know, superhero outfit, Dale

Earnhardt outfit, everyone's got these outfits and everyone's walking around going cool outfit, cool costume, cool. And then when they, when they would look at me, they'd be like scared. They didn't say shit to me. They wouldn't even look me in the eye. I'm like, fuck, these guys are really, everybody was scared of me. Like who brought the homeless dude? Who bought, who got the homeless dude in here?

So instantly I took like fucking two or three hits of E dude. I was flying. I had these fake Billy Bob teeth. I had this gigantic crescent wrench and I'm walking around every, nobody thinks it's a costume. Nobody thinks everyone thinks this is fucking crazy. It's like a charity event. Like make a wish.

Either, either some crazy panhandler or like some crazy, like handyman on the studios in one room. Like I said, one gigantic studio was a hundred couches for people to be on E all fucked up. Another room, another studio was all like, like a Arabian type couches with the, you know, I don't even know what the hell you would call it, but they're like the couches on the ground and they got all these like mosquito nets and shit. They look like, but it looked like Saudi Arabian or whatever. And then another room was a fucking club with a DJ.

And on the floor, there was little rooms, little booths like porta potties all over the place where you go, you could go make out with chicks in these little porta potty rooms. They weren't porta potty, but they, but they, this is the greatest party. Yes. It was the greatest party ever. So that was a club with a DJ with all these porta potties, people were dancing and then you go to another studio couches, another studio couches on the floor where you could lay down.

Everyone's all fucked up. Right. It was nuts. So I'm walking around scaring everybody. I'm having the time of my life just scaring cause I'd go up to, I'd go up to everybody and ask them for change. I just want to ask them to change. I go, you got some 50 cents and they'd be like, uh, maybe let me see.

People were fucking giving me money. I was having so much fucking fun, panhandling, right? And then every now and then I'd see this guy is like six foot five. He had the fucking Billy Bob teeth too. Big fucking dude. And he had a wife beater and he was walking around scaring people too. And we would cross paths and we'd look at each other and we're like, are we doing the same shit?

And then he would be gone. And then I'd be speaking panhandling. I was just having the time of my life panel and then I'd see him again and then we'd bump into each other again. How much money did you make? And I'm like, and all of a sudden he was fucked up. We, everybody there was fucked up on ecstasy and arm. We were fucking fried out of, and then all of a sudden we bumped into each other and

we just, it was like this weird fucking connection we had because we didn't even talk. We didn't have any regular conversations. We would just hate each other. You know what I mean? We just hated each other and I called security over and he had a Billy Bob teeth. He had Billy Bob teeth and with a gold tooth. I didn't have a gold tooth. His Billy Bob teeth had a gold tooth.

So we, we would call security or call security over and go, well, what's going on and go, he has my go to. And then, and then, um, no, no, that's my go to and I go, no, that's my go to and I pull out, I, I pull out the Crescent wrench and he'd open his mouth. He'd open his mouth and like, like, uh, those robots in, uh, Pirates of Caribbean how they're all fucking, they're all, they look like shit. I would just, we would just get into this robot state. We'd bring in the security and I'd like want my gold tooth, so I'm trying to get my gold

tooth back from him and he's like this and I'm like, then the security, the security, it's like, it's, it's all night. How many hits a year are you on at this point? Like five. We kept doing this all night to security. I kept calling security and I kept saying, I kept asking them to get my gold tooth from this motherfucker and, um, eventually the security threatened to kick us out. If we just kept, if we kept fucking around, you like, it's like, okay, the joke's over.

Yes. Yes. So then we went to the dance floor. We went to the regular club. You and your new buddy. We walk in, you're going to take a piss. We, we walk in to the club and everyone's dancing and me and him, we look scary as fuck. So we look like gangsters and we're just, we are loving scaring people.

We're having the greatest time scaring the fuck out of these people. So when we walk on the dance floor, everybody clears out. Everyone's dancing, having a good time and then everybody clears out and we're walking around like, we're going to fuck some people up. And at the height of their fear, all of a sudden we start dancing like we're gay. You are. We start dancing like we're gay on each other and people going, what the fuck is going on? And then we would stop and then we would mad dog everybody and walk around and just

look at people and just scare them. And they'd be like, oh, fuck. There's white people from fucking like actors and shit like that in the industry. Scared as fuck of us. We look scary. And then at the height of that fear, boom, we just start dancing like we're gay on each other. It's like we're in West Hollywood in Mickey's and we just we're dancing. We're just trying to mind fuck these people.

You are so funny. And then we would stop and then getting strong everybody. So people didn't know if we were gay or if we're going to kill them. Crazy. Probably maybe you were gay and going to kill them. What's the craziest party you ever went to in Hollywood? How long have you been out here? Sam, I have been out here for since what 2000.

And what's the craziest party you ever went out? I think the craziest party I ever went to is when I worked at crunch way back in the day. I worked at crunch and like those those people party, dude, like people who work like the the trainers, they go fucking hard in the paint, bro. Like they're incredibly good looking people and they party fucking hard. And it's so funny because once I always see my old my old ecstasy dealer, he books commercials left and right. I'm so proud of him.

I'm like, look at that. Look, a good old boy, good book and fucking commercials. But yeah, I mean, they went to this huge house. Everybody on Coke, just getting fucking lit up. Everybody's got parties up in the Hollywood Hills and shit. Yeah, you guys. Yeah. That was the greatest part. And that was 1998.

Yeah, I mean, I've never been. I was in like 20 about 28 when I went to that motherfuckers. I mean, he's a long time ago, 20 years ago. I used to go to like Beecher's Madhouse in Vegas. That was crazy, dude. Crazy. What year is that that? I remember that that was like 2002, maybe the premier place to even do

comedy and the only like Robert Kelly, they like Robert Kelly, Steve. I did well every time, but once. And yeah, dude, but it was the greatest party ever, dude. And it was like an assault on your fucking senses, midgets, fire, dancing, like sword swallowing. And then you'd have to walk out and do stand up. It was crazy. And you'd be on X.

And no, dude, I was sober then. Yeah. So I was like, fuck it, you know, I wasn't going to do anything. You've been to a party where you were judged up and like crazy shit was going on. I mean, Hollywood. Like Illuminati style. No, once you told me that. I remember having a commons, a conversation one time.

And you were telling me that these dudes in Hollywood take the Viagra and they would mix it with ecstasy and get a turkey. Baster and shoot the the combination of their ass. I never heard of that. I never told me that stuff at the store. And I was like, I am like, but I never went to those parties. I don't know. I don't know about parties with that being the theme. But people, you know, when you do ecstasy, MDMA,

you want to fuck really bad more than. Oh, yeah. More than ever. You want to fuck for eight hours. But the problem is for guys, it could fuck with your dick. It basically just you get limp dick, but you want to fuck so much. But you got limp dick. But then that's cold, too. Yeah. But then it's the worst. But it doesn't. But Coke doesn't make you horny like MDMA.

Oh, yeah. Everything makes me horny. But two lines of different. You're walking around. Women love. No, no, no, no. What it is, dude, it's like it weird. Coke. But MDMA sends you somewhere else. It's you want to you want to eat pussy for five hours straight. Your neck could be killing you, but you're like, let's just keep.

Let me just keep eating. Like I never did all that. Like I had so many. My problems were with Coke. So when everybody was doing ecstasy and everything else, my philosophy was why mess with it. I got enough problems on my own, just being me. Nevermind, MDMA and pills and that like that.

And then one of the first times I did ecstasy, I was in Miami. It was a Sunday night. It was a seven o'clock show. It was a Pablo fucking a.k.a. Oh, my God. And he's came up to me and he does what I do to leave. He goes, what's wrong with your tooth? I go, nothing.

He goes, open your mouth. You got something that went. I just threw ecstasy in my. Oh, my God. Pablo Francisco. And I. Oh, shit. He's got the best. He's got the greatest ecstasy bit ever. Pablo Francisco.

You too. Oh, dude, that came out ecstasy. He came out the greatest bit of 45 murder, dude. Yeah. He gave me a car, man. He's one of the greatest comedians I've ever heard. Yeah. No, no, no, no. He's one of the greatest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's the greatest. But he was the first time. One of the greatest. Then the second time was you guys remember Adrian Shawchank, the hot waitress from the store, the blonde hippie chick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One night me and her did it and we were going to go do crazy

stuff and her boyfriend showed up. So I went home, fell asleep and got up at five in the morning in the piss and I was in full effect. You're still going. And then the other time I got arrested was, I woke up. It was 1997. I woke up and I was living with Josh Wolfe in Seattle. And he goes, bro, I didn't do this ecstasy this week.

And you want it? I go, fuck you. I'll take it. It was a Monday morning. It had to be 11 in the morning. 11 in the morning, your duty. By myself, just to go downtown Seattle. And I go to downtown Seattle.

My ex calls me up and I go over there and I'm giving her a stab and also the cops are knocking on the door. And because we have restraining, and she told the neighbor, if you see Joey Diaz call the police, the neighbors saw me call the cops while I was giving her a stab. And I remember I hit him to the bed, they drew their guns, and the bed was going up and down. My, from me breathing, the bed was going up and down.

And I come out from under the bed. So here I am at the police station with no shirt on, like a two o'clock burning. Just rolling. Rolling on ecstasy and their fingerprinting me. And I'm looking at his hands, spitting them and shit. Like I've never, I had never done it like guys. Like I'd never been to those Hollywood parties before.

No dude, I didn't go to a lot of them. Of course you guys were Hollywood party guys. I never really did, not really did. I hung out with Joe back in those days and Joe hated that shit. So I was always like, dude, let's fucking go to some parties and Joe's like, they're fucking trash people, you know. So. I go to these parties, I get, when I did go to those parties,

it was always when I got asked to work it in some weird way. That's how I get into these parties. You know, I like, I did a bikini contest. It was really funny at the key club one time. And this is when I was drinking hard, like hard. And this one I got paid in free in drink tickets. So I didn't care about money. They're like, hey dude, here's 10 drink tickets.

Boom. And we're talking Yeager Bomb, Yeager Bomb, Jack Daniels, boom, boom, boom. Hadn't really found Coke at that moment. But man, I was so drunk. So I start the, the bikini contest and this one chick, she wasn't the prettiest, but she had the will to win. Okay. She goes out and just, boom, just releases the monkey to the crowd.

Boom, boom, boom. Just shows everybody your snatch. Crowd goes crazy, right? I'm so shit-faced. The whole thing is rigged. It's like the owner's girlfriend is in the contest. She's supposed to win the whole thing. She, she, the girl who showed her pussy is the number one.

I get handed the list and it says, number one, I just read, the winner is number one. And that's the monkey that came out. Dude, the crop, the owner went nuts. Get on the fuck out of here. She wasn't supposed to win. This other person was supposed to win. I'm like, fuck dude.

So I feel like I'm floating. I got, I'm just blackout drunk. They got me, the bouncers, these huge bouncers walked me out, right? They put me in my car and I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna try to drive home, man. I'm gonna try to fucking go for it. I drive, I go, I literally go 20 feet.

I get pulled over, right? Cops, I'm like, well, tonight's the night, right? So the cops told, they get me out to go. So what's going on? Cause they could tell something was on, right? So I'm said, you wanna know the truth? And I go, they go, yeah, I go, I told them the fucking story

of the fucking girl showing her monkey, big pussy. I thought she was gonna fucking win. They said, no, I had to take the crown off the girl who I thought won, who showed everybody her snatch and put it on the guy's girlfriend who was the actual winner. This girl's crying. I'm getting beat up and thrown out.

I tell the cops that. They put me back in my car and they give me a police escort all the way home. That's probably one of the craziest shit ever. Because you were honest. I just, I, you know. While we're here, the other day I mentioned Eddie Bravo because I was out with, Eddie used to make me laugh, man.

Eddie has always made me laugh. But Eddie has the same, I grew up with two guys that I adored. One was stinky because he was Italian. Like if you saw him, he was Italian. But once he had three drinks, he had his grandmother was American Indian. And he was just, and I had another friend

that hung up with his name was Jimmy Burkle. The guy was personality like a great personality, great guy. But brother, when he drank, like he was really smart. But when he drank his eyebrow would go up and he would start smoking cigarettes and act differently. So we used to call him the Marquis de Saade because he was crazy. Like whenever he drank, he'd just go crazy.

But, you know, like I met Eddie a couple of times and we went out and there was three particular times. It was one night in Austin where you and me and Joe went out to do a show and then we went to Fogo the Child and you started drinking that Fogo the fucking Child. And that night Eddie went to, he forgot where he was staying at his hotel

and he went to the wrong hotel. So they chased you down the street and you fell and you slid on your knees. Damn, you remember that shit. Come on, dawg. You used to have some good. When you were single, I admire people who have a life. And I admire people like anybody can hang out

with people who are cool. You know what I'm saying? You know those people like, I'm going to hang out and take digs and you know, I like people who go out and make something happen by themselves because that was always me. I knew how to fucking get an eight ball, two joints and go to another neighbor by myself.

The next thing you know. I went out by myself all the fucking time. Guys wanted to come out with me and I'm like, okay, you can come but you got to drive your own car because I'm not going to drive you home. Right. Like you got to, I mean, I go by my, I would between 88 and 92,

I went out by myself. You know, those were the. That's your best bet. As a single man, you get in those clicks that we're doing this Vegas, that sucks. I always believed to start a little neighborhood bar. And if you don't, the neighborhood bar isn't good, then you go to the big board and meet more people.

But nine out of 10, the neighborhood bar, got everything you're looking for. Keep it simple. A little married chink. She's unhappy. Her husband just took the second job, but she's done to do a line of code. You got that bitch.

It's over. You got to blow jobs up. You know what I'm saying? Eddie always had the classic Eddie Bravo story is when he went to Germany with Rogan. Oh yeah. And he fucking woke up in the middle of the night and realized he was late, breaking down on Eddie.

Man. That there's, there's, there's so much to that Germany story. Joe wrote a blog about it. It was so crazy. Joe wrote it cause he was fucking mad at me. Oh man. What year was this? This is.

He was smoking already. 2007, 2008. I think it was the first time, it was the first time the UFC went to Germany and it was a Cologne, Germany. And man, after the UFC, which is a Saturday night there, generally Sunday morning is the flight home.

And when we're overseas, I liked cause we went to England a bunch of times and we would do this in England in England. After the UFC, don't go to sleep. Party all night, right until you, you know, and then when you get on that plane the next morning, you pass out. Just sleep.

For fucking 10 hours, didn't you wake up here in LA? It's the perfect system. Right. It sucks being awake, you know, on a 10 hour flight. Oh, it's the worst. Dude, it's torture. So you, you want to stay up and party just so that you could just sleep through that flight.

So I party all goddamn night, Joe didn't come out, but I went out. I don't know who the fuck I was with. It was, it was an insane night in Cologne, Germany. And I- But they say Germany's amazing. I got back to the hotel, probably seven in the morning or something.

And our car, me and Joe's car, it was Joe's car. And I'm just like tagging along with Joe, you know what I mean? It's his car. Right, right, right. Picking us up like at nine. I get back at seven, right? I walk in to the hotel and I'm a zombie. I'm completely out.

I'm completely, I don't, I don't remember any of this. This is just, I must have been, cause Joe saw me. Joe saw me, he was in the lobby and he's like, and I went up to my room. I tried to pack, I guess, you know, and I have a certain way of packing. I, you know, everyone's got a little system, right? In my backpack, my laptop.

Right. And I got my, my toiletries and my backpack. And in my, in my suitcase, got all my clothes and just basically all my clothes. So I don't remember, I don't remember getting back to the hotel. I don't remember, I don't remember. I don't remember Joe saying we're leaving in two hours.

I don't remember any of that. You just went hard. You know what I remember? All I remember is it's black. It's. And then my phone's going off. My phone's going off and I wake up and I'm in the back seat of some car

going like a on the auto bond racing to the airport. And I don't know what the, where the fuck I'm at. And I look at my phone and it says Joe Rogan on it. I said, actually, that's what it says. It says, and I'm like, and I answered it. And he said, where the fuck are you?

You took my car. And I'm like, boom. And I hung up. And I'm like, and I asked the driver, I asked the driver, I go, where the fuck are we going? He turns back and goes, we're going to the airport. Mike, fuck. And then Joe calls again.

And I'm like, fuck. And I just send it to voicemail. I'm like, holy shit. And then I opened up my backpack. My one shoe is in my backpack. No laptop, just one shoe. And then I opened up the suitcase and my laptop's in the fucking suitcase.

So I feel like, oh my God, what the, where the fuck? Yeah, dude, I've had those nights. And then Joe called again and goes, dude, you took my car. And I don't remember anything. So I must have just tried to pack like in a zombie state. Yeah. I packed in a zombie state and I went out and that driver must have said, Joe Rogan.

And I must have said, yes. And he goes, jump running. And he just put me in the car and we drove away. And then, you know, I don't remember any of that. I came to life. It's like the beginning of a movie, like, you know, just black and then you hear a phone and all of a sudden, boom, my eyes open.

You're like, it's Joe Rogan trying to call me. I have no, I have no, the last thing I remember, I'm doing shots at some bar in Germany. I don't remember getting home. I don't remember going to the hotel, packing and then getting in the car. I woke up in the backseat of some fucking car on the Autobahn, racing to the airport.

So I get to the airport, right? So Joe takes a taxi. He jumps in a taxi and he is so mad at me at the airport. He would not talk to me. He didn't talk to me the whole time at the airport. All the, the whole flight back, we're sitting next to each other like first class and he didn't say a word to me and he was mad

probably for about a week. And then he wrote a blog and then he realized, okay, you know, it's over. We should, he should kind of like, you know, laugh about it. So then it became a joke to him, but he was fucking furious, dude. But there's a blog somewhere on the internet. I don't know.

I don't know if it, it's gotta still be up there, but it's about that story. You black, I love the trips in Europe. You know, I was thinking about this. I did a show at Mazjibranje in Washington, DC when it was the accident. It wasn't the accident of evil. It was a, what was it before that?

Arabian Nights. And I was so blessed to get in at the comedy store because she needed Middle Eastern comics. So I kind of fudged the math and got in on it, right? So we were doing some tours. He took me to do a gig with him in Washington, DC in this giant theater and I got the open for him. And man, Mazjibranje puts on a show, dude.

He puts on a show. And his crowd is fun, dude. His crowd is fun. So we go there and, you know, so it's in Washington, DC and, you know, I'm a conspiracy theorist. So, you know, everybody's around talking politics and I'm just like sown seeds of doubt and I fucking love it, right?

Well, there's this one blonde chick and she just starts going in at me hard, in at me hard. And we're arguing the whole time. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then something happens, ends up drinking. I black out. I wake up in my hotel room, my clothes are ripped. Everything's in my, in my fucking hotel room is smashed.

My phone, my computer's broken, my suits are all ripped. And I go, what the fuck happened? We go, I don't know. You fucking started making out with that blonde chick and then you guys took off and then that was the end of the fuck. I have no clue. I mean, I mean, blood on the wall.

I don't fucking know what the fuck happened. You didn't find out if you had intercourse? I mean, I, dude, I knocked it out of the bottle. But you, when it doesn't remember, there've been a couple of times where I blacked out and I didn't remember the night before, but it was clear like you wake up and you're in a Vegas hotel

and you still got a condom on your dick. And you're like, you did have sex, but you don't, just because you don't remember, it feels like it really didn't happen. Like it didn't happen. Like if you don't remember it, it doesn't count. It doesn't cause it, it feels like it never happened

cause you have no memories of it. I had a blackout drunk when I worked with Vince Vaughn too one time. I fucking blacked out hard, dude. Where? When we did the support the troops show, I did like five shots of Yeager before I went up and it just, so I go.

So the show was, it was just after 9-11 and Vince Vaughn's like, hey, come out and help us raise some money. I'm like, okay, I'll do that, that'll be fun. So it's in Dewey Beach, Delaware. And it's at this like this like country music bar, right? And it's a big, it's like not a huge venue, but it's a pretty big venue.

And it was first come, first serve, right? So the doors open at noon and the show's until eight. It is sold out at around 12-10. It is packed and they are drinking all day, dude. All fucking day, right? So I'm like, fuck man, it's gonna be crazy. So I go up, well, Ahmed goes up and cause it's after 9-11, you know, he's Arab.

It's a hard set, you know? It's a hard set, dude. It's just like, you're walking into fucking murder at that point, dude. You got no chance. So then I think they put Sebastian up and then I went up. And it's going well, but I started getting heckled by this chick, like it's just getting heckled.

And I threw out some stupid line like, hey, why don't you just leave and go, I'll fuck your cousin, some stupid hick line. Well, she was there with like 80 people and they turned hard, dude. And they, boo, boo, boo. And to this day when I hear, shana, na, na, na, na, na, hey, goodbye, I still get chills.

Is that what they started doing? Oh yeah, they started singing that. I'm like, okay, not today. I tried every comedy sort thing I had that time. So I get off stage, right? The whole cast of the wedding crashers is upstairs, right? So I just bombed for the troops and I bombed in front of the fucking wedding crash people.

And they were like, oh, you did great. All I could focus on is Owen Wilson's nose and how fucking, I was so drunk. It was so fucking huge. It was so huge. You used to get fucked up, Sam. I used to get fucked. One night, you got mad at me for something.

Just one night out of something. I thought you got mad at me about something. No, I think I went up on stage at that time, one of my favorite people in the world who still is was my Armenian drug dealer. He would make me fucking out. And I said something when I brought you up. You were drinking.

Yeah, I was an asshole. You were in the main room. No, and I wasn't even mad at you like that. I didn't know you were drinking till after the situation went down. I said, keep it going. And then I went on stage. Well, I went up before you.

I was talking about my Armenian drug dealer. You went up there and took it really personal. As I was walking out of the main room, you're like, fuck him. I don't remember that. And then I didn't like stay around to bait you because I had my own addiction problems. The last thing I want is to get into a fist fight

with Sam and the cops come. And now he's not drinking and I'm not snorting. What a waste of time, you know what I'm saying? I don't remember that. And if I did it, I'm super chill. No, no, no. I remember approaching you. I feel awful.

I remember, no, no. Don't ever feel bad. I used to score at sea or a stop. No, no, no, no, no. I remember saying that to you a couple of days, like Trips, what was your problem the other night? I was just a joke. My Armenian drug dealer is real.

I love him, like my friend. And you were like, I didn't like the way you portrayed him or something. Then I left you alone. But the thing I've always loved about you that is like so juvenile, but so to a comic. Like as a comic, once you become a comedian, you get to a certain level of comedy, like eight, nine years.

You start respecting people because of their comedy. Like even if you don't like them. Yeah. If they make you laugh. For sure. They make you laugh. Get the politics and your self righteousness and shove it up your mother's ass.

At that time, you would always come up to me. You were a young kid and you'd always come up to me and talk to me about Pablo. Pablo was your world. He was your mentor and that was our connection. And I liked you. I naturally liked you. But the night I fell in love with you

and you've been on your podcast, you've been on my podcast. And I just want to reiterate this to people. Like at the time I'm like, Sam is just a young kid. I don't know whether I like him or not. Like I was at that point. I just know he's a regular at the store. So that has to make me love him as a comic. I have to love him.

As a comic, he's one of my brothers at the comedy store, but he had a bit as dumb as this sounds about Asians eating ecstasy and going out and stuff like that. And I'll never forget going into, this is why you have to understand that there's a point in comedy where you have to love the people you're around that stage.

If not, you're not going to grow. But I remember watching you and we'll say this in public because it's no big deal. This has to be, Sam, this has to be 2003, right? Yeah. 2004. And you were committing to this bit. And that's as crazy as the sound. That's why I learned about the word commitment.

And then years later, I heard Rogan say it and I put it all together that, even if you're bombing with a joke, as long as you believe in that joke, it's the people who go, let me tell you about Kennedy getting shot in the head. And all of a sudden, meanwhile, it's not going and they drop it with you.

And I'm looking at you and what you didn't see was that it was the seven o'clock show. It's people my age, you know, like they were there on like a 50 and over date night. Dude, I'm a crazy person. And no, no, no, but you're doing 23 year old material. Right. Like ecstasy and fucking and this Chinese guy.

What was the joke about the Chinese guy? About how Asians love ecstasy. And Asians love ecstasy. Because how smart they are, you know? Oh my God. Their visuals are like fucking Xbox with fucking dopey digital sound, right? The rest of us is like 8-bit.

But me being, yeah, oh yeah. Me being an old guy at the time, at that time I didn't do anything about ecstasy. And I kept watching the same going on. Look at this fucking lunatic. He doesn't know that his audience is 20 years older than he is. You know how you learn something?

Remember I asked you last night before the show, after the show at the ice house, I said to you specifically, what did you learn tonight? Because you always learn something. When he walked off the stage, he goes, I did my a shit. And they just stared at me. But also he looked at the audience because there's no lights at the store.

Yeah, oh. So you don't know who you're performing. It's the worst. You look at them and go, yeah, they're 55. They don't know anything about ecstasy. They know about reefering Ted Nugent. And after that was when I fell in love with you as a comedian.

I go, because he didn't give up. Most comics were just giving up. You kept pushing the ecstasy and you were selling the fucking Asian aspect of it. So that's great. Could you like that joke? I used that as the showcase for the set that I showcased, the final showcase for Mitzi.

So I got picked up doing that joke. Because Duncan pulled me aside. He goes, I got your showcase. This is how you get in with Mitzi. You do one joke about your ethnic group. You do one joke about either one of your parents and then your favorite joke. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do this bit about my mom

being a power walker, being Armenian, going to the beach. And then I'm gonna do the Asian ecstasy bit because Joey likes that bit. So that's the bit I'm gonna do. And I got picked up. What were the other two? I had a power walkers. Okay.

They're not, you know, it's just this whole thing about, I'm a power, no, you're a lazy runner. That's what you are, right? That's what power, you know. Oh, I remember that. I had this whole bit about that. And then I had a bit. What about your mom?

That she was a power walker. Then I had the bit about when I go to the beach and just I'm so furry, man. I take a shirt off, baby start crying, women in a corner puking, people calling the fucking SPCA right on me. And I have this whole bit I did on that. Who was your clique?

You had a little clique. Who did I meet? Oh, Brett Ernst. Brett Ernst. Brett Ernst, Sebastian. A little younger than me. Ma's Gibranie. Amazing.

Yeah, good crowd. Good crew. Good crew. I love the comedy story, dude. I do too. I talk to Ma's all the time. Yeah, for sure. Like we need to talk on the phone.

For sure. It's funny. One of my funniest Eddie stories was I, let me tell you how much I loved Eddie. Eddie called me one time to give me a message from Rogan and I looked at the phone. This is how good I am with numbers. Are you motherfuckers with things I don't know numbers?

I remember his phone number from visual. Wow. One night I dialed it and he answered. But the thing was I hid my cocaine use from Rogan. He knew about my cocaine use. I just wouldn't do it around him. Right. But when I'd see Eddie,

I wouldn't give a Frenchman's fuck whatever Eddie told Rogan. So I would go to a bar called El Compadre where you get the best coke in town. Right. When I first met Eddie and that's where Eddie would take his dates on Tuesday nights and Wednesdays.

So here I am seeking like running away from Rogan. Oh, so funny. I don't want Rogan to know I'm doing blow, but here I am and I would do a line in the bathroom, come out, go get a margarine and who's sitting in the corner with an arm around a chick but that he bravo. And I'm like, fuck.

I'm all coke drop. But everybody was all coke drop. You're right. So Eddie knew it. So I kept going back to the El Compadre and I'd bump into Eddie and I'd bump into a lot of people, but there was one night in particular.

This is like the height of my addiction. Like this is 2006. The longest yard came out already. Right. And there was no really success. Everybody else was blowing up in the longest yard except for me and I was doing heroin.

I was doing everything. I'll never forget that I went down to the El Compadre and it copped a 40 package from the guitar player and I got pills. Somebody had pills then. And you do pills, take these. And I ate the pills and who do I bump into but Eddie. But this is like, you know, I just watched that.

Nothing happens on the couch. I don't care if you're a fat, ugly guy that women do not talk to you. Eddie's like your drug dealers. If you stay at the house, nothing's ever gonna happen for you. Right. If you go out 300 nights,

even if you're fat and ugly, you're gonna bump into a victim one of those nights and they're gonna suck your dick. The odds are always with you. So with me, I was an ugly dude. I didn't have money, but I had two things. I had the gift of gab and I had cocaine. Cocaine's a major closer.

Oh, for sure. Because the gift of gab brings you close to me. So now I got you like in a fucking, you know what I'm saying? Like now I got you. But the cocaine I'll just twist you up and next thing you know is 69 and I'm looking at you going, oh my God, this chick's a 10 and she's eating my balls.

Like it was just crazy. But it was always, at that time I was scared of El Compadre. I lived on the street, I lived on in a car and I lived in between Curson and Gardner. And I'd see all the people walk out of El Compadre. It was crazy. But I had one friend that would go to El Compadre and she told me, dog, they got good coke there.

We got fucked up in there. So for years I didn't go into El Compadre. So I started going to El Compadre, getting coke, meeting people. So boom, when did I go in there after the store? And I'm fucking lit. I already had like a little bit of that chewy coke. Yeah.

It wasn't good. Yeah, what is that? Well, when it sticks like that. Yeah. You're like, oh shit. The chewy coke was good enough but it didn't take you over the cocaine mountain. It's fast eddy coke.

You know what I'm saying? You want to talk to people and talk shit about your career and all these shit. That's got things thinner or some shit. So I would do the chewy coke and if the chewy coke didn't have it, I'd make the investment and have somebody drop me off at El Compadre.

I was home anyway. I was sleeping in somebody's apartment in that block anyway where there was Ralphie Mae, Celine, Sean Ralph, Doug Stanhope. I would find somebody to sleep even though I was homeless. So by this time I got a place and I go in there one night

and I'm buying my little late night package and who's in there but Eddie Brown. And again, nothing happens when you stay on the couch. I'm fucking stuck. I go to the thing and there's a hot chick by herself. And like any being this table knows, especially Lee, I'll talk to anybody. We were at Morton's Steakhouse one night.

On Coke too. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I could talk to him. This was recently. This had to be two years ago. I go, let's go. My wife is out of town. I go, Lee, let's go to Morton's Steakhouse.

Some woman passed by me and she was like, excuse me, lady, you're looking fucking tremendous tonight. She's like, oh my God, when she came back, she gave me a number. She had to be 80 years old. My point being that the gift of gas, cocaine, so what else can I buy, who do I bump into? But Eddie, at the same time when I bump into Eddie,

I'm talking to this chick. This has to be, let's pretend it was 15 years ago, maybe. It was 15 years ago, maybe. Right. So I'm 40 years old. I'm broke. I'm living on Gavin's floor. God knows where the fuck I'm living.

I go to a compagny, I get a $50 rock, which in those days was tremendous. I would put like an extra glue chunk in there for me. And I'd crush it up and I'd do a little blast. And I'm not there at three minutes, but this girl comes out, you know, just moved to L.A. She does not know about L.A. And she starts talking to me about tequila.

You know, I love tequila and da da da da tequila and tequila and tequila and tequila. I don't know about tequila. I know Corvo and so I don't know that. She goes, have you ever eaten a worm? And in all this speech, she goes, one time I ate a worm and I sucked the guy's dick for an hour.

And I'm like, really, you know, when somebody tells you that type of information. Worms. You know, when somebody tells you that type of information when you just meet them. That's just, so I go, really? And she goes, as a matter of fact, whenever I drink tequila, I'm gonna suck nerds.

I love to suck dick. She didn't say it in that way. She, what's the common way to say it? Filatio. Filatio? What's, what do you know? What's filatios when you eat pussy? No, filatios when you get your dick sucked, right?

She was, she was very white and she's telling me all this shit and I have no money. Like I have like eight dollars and she's telling me how. She, and I remember going up to the bar and telling me, listen, Joey, whatever. It was Joey. I go, Joey, can you just put like 20 dollars in tab and send us over four shots of tequila?

And he goes, you got it. And I gave, like I was like, salute. And there was 20 people in the patio. Salute. And then we're like, salute. And I'm eating pills. I think I got them from Sergio Love. I'm doing that guitar player coke, which is cartel cocaine.

The cocaine there was brilliant. That's what Lindsay Lohan. All that mariachi music is all about drug dealing. That's what Lindsay Lohan was getting her blow. That's a good shit. So I'm in there fucking getting blasted. I don't know how I'm gonna get home. I don't know what happens.

I'm talking to this chick and I'm the coke. I said something to her about sucking my dick. And next, you know, I black out and wearing men coming into the El Compadre bathroom pissing. And she's giving me a blow job in the bathroom. And again, we walk out. And in those days, once you suck my dick, the conversation's over.

There's no more cocktails. There's no more cocaine. Hold on. Hold on a friend of mine. Just let me go get my friend. Boom. And that's it. I wake up the next day.

I take a shower. I'm hungover on the tequila. I take my aspirins. And I'm trying to think about what happened the night before. Like it's that deep of a black. I have an allergy to alcohol. Yeah, for sure. So after a certain amount of alcohol, I fucking pass out.

So I'm never forget that the phone rings on my page, it goes off and it's Eddie. And I call Eddie and he goes, well, hey man, I'm just worried about you. What happened to you last night? And I go, what happened to you? You know, one minute we're talking, the next minute you're gone.

He goes, oh, you were talking to some hot chick. And I go, oh, shit, that's right. That's right, I was talking to that hot chick. He goes, what happened to that? I go, you know what, bro? That's when you know you're fucking blacked out. At the light, while I was on the phone with Eddie, it came to me that the chick had sucked my dick.

I go, Eddie, do you know that chick sucked my dick last night? He goes, where? You took it home? I go, no, I got no home. Right there in El Campaje, he goes, where? I go in the bathroom. He goes right out in the open, I go, no, in the store.

And then he asked me a $1,000 question. He goes, did you close the store? I go, why would I close the store? She was locking my dick. If I was sucking her dick, I'd close the store because I'm conscientious. That's how crazy. El Campaje ain't those days.

Like that was the craziest Hollywood stories I have. No, you have a great story about Dublin. Did I ever tell this? No, no, but let me ask you this. Dublin story is great. If what would go any further? Did we do that thing together where the people were fucking outside

and we had to do stand-up comedy? Or was that Jason Tebow, Duncan? That must have been somebody else. You didn't organize that? No, I've done shows where people are fucking. We did the show up in the hills where they gave us 1,500 flat and it was the people from,

what was the guy that was showing women her tits? You went to a bar. Oh, a girl's gone wild. Girl's gone wild. No. So it was like these Armenian fucking Arab guys that came to the store and they picked up like five or six comics.

The other day we were trying to put it together. Jason Tebow was one of the headliners. They gave you a bag of joints, they put you in a trailer and then people were gonna fuck around the pool and you were gonna go up on stage and do jokes. Eddie. Holy shit.

Disgusting. Eddie. Disgusting. Because it's never people you wanna actually watch fucked, right? No, no, no. It was disgusting. But I still remember this one husband came,

yoked up on steroids, looking at Mad Dog and everybody. He's like, my wife is here. And his wife was maybe like a six. You know what I'm saying? She was a filthy fucking animal. Like when she took her sandals off, she had dirt on her feet.

I'll never forget that she got on top of the diving board and people were just fucking it and he would just stand there like, look how good a piece of ass my wife is. Like it was just totally disgusting. And we got there at one in the afternoon and we had to sit through this. Like I'm a pig guys.

I'm a pig. When I tell you that I was like disgusted. There was a pool, people were fucking by the pool. Then they had where you change, where you put your towel on and change like the pool thing. I went in there at one point and there was people fucking everywhere. And people were taping this

and then we had to wait for it to get dark for the comedy to start. So we got there at one. Were they shooting porn? Or were they just? What they were gonna shoot was five comedians with sex around you and they were gonna sell it. This is way before the internet guys.

This is, it had to be 2001, 2002. Somebody found it online. The guys lost their ass. Oh yeah, girls gone wild? No, no, no, no, no. These were guys that were like girls gone wild. They had an idea and their big plan was- Ladies gone crazy?

Yeah, what their big plan was, they were gonna rent TV on Thanksgiving night and just push the ad all night. Order now and you'll see comedians and girls having sex and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Bro, they invested so much money. Wow. Like they told us what they invested.

Part of the deal for me was like 1500 and like a bag of joints. Would they let you jump in? No, you didn't wanna jump in. I didn't. Trust me, there was, and then they hired like- It's like nudists. Nudists are never anybody who wants to make it.

It's almost like a warning. No, it's a warning. They hired female models that were extras, good-looking ones and they didn't know where they were going to. So because they thought they were going to a modeling event, they got there to see all these ugly women getting fucked by different men and gang banged and shit

and some of them started leaving, angry and crying and shit. Like that was just disgusting. And I still remember being on stage and getting heckled. And me telling the girl, go fuck yourself. You wouldn't be here. And then she got really pissed. Every time I'd walk past, did she give me the finger?

The rest of the night, fuck you, you fucking loser. And finally I had to call like a whore or something. Fuck you, you whore. You wouldn't be a fucking whore if you weren't here. I remember going back on stage and just going off on it. You weren't part of that. No.

I think it was me, Duncan Trussell, who's a sweetheart in the head. One of the best. One of the best. They hired like five of the wrong fucking comics for that fucking shit. Dude, that thing was doomed even before they decided comics.

You feel so guilty. Like I bumped into him like three or four months later at the store. They came up to like looking for like 500 back like that. The heads down. And then like, you're not going to believe what happened. We advertised. We only sold 136 units.

We took a bath. We got to pay our family back now. The money we borrowed from them, it was embarrassing. It's a crazy idea, dude. I mean, that's a, sometimes people, just because they have money, I've learned this, just because you have money doesn't mean you're smart. You know what I'm saying?

Like there's some people got cash to just make horrible, horrible business decisions. Well, out here especially, I've seen that, that what is that investment when you're not guaranteed the investment back, it's called something. There's people that just do that. It's got a high return.

But if you lose the money, you lose it. Like once you give it away. So people will give away a half a million and 500 thousands and 50 thousands to invest a half a million and 50 thousands with the hope that one of those 50 thousands will give them a high yield interest and cover their losses and they can make extra money.

There's something that it's called. I don't, I'm not an economist anymore. That's back in the days. I've done shows where people are having sex. We used to do naughty shows in swingers clubs. And we went to the world famous Green Door in Las Vegas. Las Vegas, I remember that. Yeah, yeah.

So we were supposed to do another casino and they had a freak out. They're like, no, we don't want porn stars. It was just a weird, it was a weird time in Vegas, right? So I had this huge show put together. I had a guy from CSI wanted to do the show. He wanted to do some funny, stupid skit about like DNA on the girls stuff.

Cause we had porn stars and they'd be like, find out who was a murderer through the DNA. But so I call around and I remember my buddy had did a show, had did a show at the Green Door. And I'm like, would they want to do comedy called the guy, boom, done. We sell like 300 tickets in like honestly a half an hour. That's how quickly the show sold out.

Cause it was part of ABM weekend and all that shit. So we go there. And so this guy, the swingers, man, like, here's what I've learned about super rich people. They're all cucks. They all bang each other's girlfriends, wives. It's just like, they just get bored and they all just fuck each other, right?

So this swinger, this guy ran a swing club, knew all the, all the ballers in Vegas. And he got us the fattest sweet pet house I've ever seen in my life. For you. Me, Jason Tebow. And I think one of the big porn stars that, you know, she was going to stay with us too.

What was her name? What's the girl that you friends with that I love? Tara Patrick. Tara Patrick, I love her. She, dude, one of the most beautiful people you've ever seen in your life. So we go to this hotel. It's at the Paris and we get our keys.

They're like, wow, it's really high. So we go up and it's the last floor, man. We're like, holy shit. And we walk down. We're like, where is it? Dude, we get double doors, man. Open the double doors. It's like half the top floor of like the Paris.

It was the biggest hotel room I've ever stayed in my life. And it was ours for the whole weekend for doing the show at the Green Door. We go to the Green Door. We do the show. It's a huge smash afterwards. And while I'm doing standup, people are just fucking all over the place.

And I've learned from strip clubs that basically what swingers clubs are are just where black guys with dreads go to bang polar bears. That's what happened. What's a polar bear? A big fat white chick, a polar bear. That's what it just, you see these guys with dreads

just fucking crushing these very large ones. Now, these swingers clubs, because I'm not hip to this shit. You never went, you never done any of that? You never done to a swingers club? What was the famous one in New York? I was taking, taking that store, I'm sorry. I was taking one night in one of my drunk cocaine stupors.

I met somebody out and they said, let's go to that club. And I walked in with him and I think I lasted eight minutes because my Catholic, whatever, just got in the way. Like there was just people fucking. I didn't like the concept of I walk in here with my girlfriend or my wife. That's the concept I didn't like. I don't mind if you got a kumar on the side

or some 20 year old fucking chick that you went around. But like the people next to me, it was their wives. And the two guys were like, your wife sucks a great dick. And your wife has a tight asshole. And I'm like. Some dudes are into that. It's that's the part I'm not that confident about. So I didn't like that shit.

And then once I was taken to the 1040 club and that was a horrible experience as a child, like 16 where it was $10, it was $9.99 to get your dick sucked. What? But it was $10.40. That's like Groupon prices. Yeah, it was $10.40 plus tax. So it was $9.99.

You had to pay tax on a blow job. So it was 1040. So you paid the $10.40, they gave you a ticket stub and you walked in the back and it was like a hundred guys. And then what they did was they set up a bar. They had different bars in there. So you just drinking there, like drinking, like me and Eddie. And then like a red light would go off

and the door would open up and they'd push it. Went your girls like like young hokers from other countries and you had to fucking grab them. And then to go back into the area, you had to give the ticket to the guy and they would take you into the back. And it was basically cubicles. Just cubicles with a sink, like a prison bathroom.

And you opened the curtain and you went in there and she pulled out a bucket and she put hot water in the bucket and she had a sponge. Then she took your dick out and she washed your dick and she washed your balls. What city was this in? This isn't the only city in the fucking, the city had Don't Sleep, New York city.

This is 19, this was 1981. I went there for a birthday party. It was Pablo, Pepejo. I forget he's dead now. God rest his soul. I knew him and his brother and they had a, the family had a candy company.

So at night he would take, they had trucks that delivered like Hershey bars and Milky Ways. That's what the family did. Obregans. Then his name was Pedro Obregans. He loved hookah houses. So we were drinking one night

and they said, let's go into the city and I got in the car with them. And I'm like, we're going to the 1040 club. And I was Catholic. My mother had just died. I didn't know about this shit. I like this place is fun. Let's go in there.

And that was at $10 and 40 cents. How's a $10 blow job? Let me tell you something. It was one of the worst experiences of my life because you grabbed it. Like the chick I grabbed, I didn't even know. Like I was there for a half hour just drinking because it was like dollar drinks.

But the room would smell like cologne. Like, you know, all those guys that, they tell you how much they get laid. It was those guys. Oh yeah. It was all those type of guys like, bro, when I go on women, I got to beat them off me. You're lying.

They were all in there with their cologne on, talking like they were businessmen. And you got to grab these chicks. It looks like they've been crying all night. Of course, the guy would give a $10 blow job. Who wants that? It's a fucking horror show. And then they look, but they upgrade you in the back.

So while they washing your balls and stuff, no condom. They suck your dick. It was 1970, 1979, 1989, 1981. No condoms. They blow you and then they upgrade you. So for an extra 10 bucks, it was an around the world. I'll never forget, I thought of me an around the world. And I'm like, what's around the world?

She's like, that's when I suck your dick. And I lick your balls and you fuck me. And I was like, all right, let's do the around the world. And then she took her stockings off and her shirt. And it was just, I was horrified. I was 17. You know, I really- They're just fucking beating up.

They had just been beating up. Like she turned around and her pussy lips were hanging. Oh, that's- Like I wanted love. Like I was looking to be loved, Eddie. Is there nothing more wrong than that? You were looking for a pretty woman for $10. But then she put the, I don't know,

she put the condom on me. She got on top of me first. And it was like a metal bed, like a detention bed. And you could hear 20 people fucking at once. Well, you could just, it was all around. It was just wide open. And I'll never forget her rubbing against me. And me closing my eyes going,

how many diseases am I gonna get? And in the middle of all that, she stopped. And she goes, you know, for an extra five, you could eat my pussy. And I just fucking, what's when they have you in a mount? I hit Bumpter and she flew off, bro. And I put my clothes on and I walked out of there. I walked to 40 seconds, she took the bus home.

That was like one of the lowest levels of my life. Oh, for sure. I got a low level story like that too. Really? This is the only time I ever had sex with a girl and didn't wanna finish, just pulled up my pants and got the fuck out. Let me tell you the story.

This is, I was single between 2000 and 2010. I went 10 years. I strategically stayed away from relationships. I started, you know, doing seminars, teaching Jiu-Jitsu. And before I had- 2000 or 2010? 2000, 2010. I was single as fuck.

You just had a bunch of differences. I just, I just having fun, man. Dayton, just getting crazy. And that's when 10th Planet was born. And before I had any affiliates that was this one school in Tennessee, one school that would have me out like every other month, they would have me out. And I didn't have any affiliates.

I just had one squash team. I didn't even have a school. I was, you know, the beginning of 10th Planet was me teaching out of some dirty ass boxing gym in West Hollywood across the street from that old Trader Joe's. Bomb squad. Bomb squad.

Bomb squad was- I tapped Keene-Avery Wayne's there. Exactly. He went there. He was old school. I knew Sam before. I got Scott into, that's how I got Scott into the gym.

I knew both you guys before 10th Planet was having a thaw. Yes, yes. Really? Yeah, 10th Planet. I knew you guys 2001, 2002, and 2003 was the beginning of 10th Planet. But anyways, right there, 2003, 2004,

I'm going to this city and this, I'd never been to a city like that before in my life. I just started traveling. And it's one of those cities where you, you fly into Atlanta and then Atlanta, you take a little prop plane to this one little, small little town in Tennessee. This guy was flying me out.

What's the city called? Bristol, Tennessee. Bristol. Tri-Cities. So I went there a lot and when I'd go there, I'd stay the whole weekend. I would just, so I was tripped out that anybody would even fly me out for a seminar.

Right. And the guy that would fly me out, his name was Dee Smith. And he was like, the coolest fucking guy ever. He just had me out every other week. And you know, he was really in the rubber guard and all that, the twister and all that shit. And when I'd go out, there was one club

in this small little town, one club on a Saturday night called State Line. And it had the college kids, people in their 30s and 40s and their 50s and their 60s. Everybody was in this goddamn club. They had one motherfucking club. And, and you know, I was out there looking, you know, for a female companionship,

you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm like, this is my last night. I leave tomorrow, you know, and we went out to this club, that club State Line. I mean, you can even call it a club. It was like a bar, but there wasn't really any success going on there. And this, I forget his name,

but this one guy said, hey man, we can go to Johnson City and there's a bigger club. So Johnson City was like a step up from the small little town that had like 15,000 people population, small little town in the boonies of Tennessee. So I thought, fuck it, you know, I don't even got nothing else to do.

He goes, dude, I'll drive you. We'll go to Johnson City. There's this bad ass club. I'm like, let's go. So we drove about an hour to Johnson City and we get in, it's a horrible club. I mean, it is a step above the bar we were just at, but it was horrible.

And he says, I know this girl up on stage and there's this girl. She looked like she was, she was drunk as fuck. She looked like Huckleberry Finn's great niece. You know, she just fucked up teeth and just, she was skinny and she had her pants unzipped and she was dancing on this stage. It wasn't a strip club, but she thought it was.

And everybody's like dancing dirty on her. And he goes, you can fuck her if you want. I'm like, oh, how do you know? It goes, dude, I could fuck her anytime I want. I'm like, holy, and this dude didn't have any teeth either. No kidding. Nice guy, but I was like, fuck. Oh, and I was like, no, thank you.

Let's get the fuck out of here. You know it's bad when you. The story is not over yet. I was like, I thought about it. I was on the fence, man. I was a little drunk and I'm like, we're in Tennessee. You know what I mean? You kind of drop your standards when you're like,

fuck no, I just looked at her up on stage and dudes were all like all over her dancing dirty. And she literally had her pants zipped down trying to be sexy, buttoned open and dancing on the stage. And I said, fuck it, let's just get the fuck out of here. And he goes, you sure, man? You sure? You can get that one.

I'm like, I'm sure let's get the fuck out of here, right? So we go to the parking lot. We get in the car. And we're trying to get out of this parking lot. And here she comes as we're driving out. She's just like stumbling. How old is she? She's got to be like, I don't know, early 20s.

And she's stumbling out of the club. She perfect timing. He goes, last chance. You sure? We take her to my house right now. I'm like, fuck. I said, all right, fuck it, let's just do it. So he grabbed her, throws her in the car.

We go back to his house, like his mom's house. Here we go in the basement. He's got a big screen in the basement. And it's just us three watching TV just for like a second. I'm like, you know what? And he gets up and he walks away and gives me a little wink and goes, go for it. I'm like, and she's just like sitting there,

just not even talking. And I thought, okay. So we started making out a little bit and it's fucking gross, dude. I pulled down her pants and put on a condom. I'm like, there's no way I'm fucking this chick without a condom. Put on a condom, I put it in.

And she's just looking like she's dead. She's got this dead look on her pants. And I took a couple pumps and I just looked at her and I thought, fuck this shit. It's so not worth it. I was afraid to come. I pulled out, fucking snap that rubber off through it up against the fucking floor.

And I went upstairs and told the guy, let's get the fuck out of here. He goes, what happened? Did you fuck her? I'm like, not really, dude. Let's just get the fuck out of here. So he drove me back and that was the only time. He's probably still in there.

That was the only time I ever stopped in the middle of sex. And just, I was afraid to have an orgasm. I just wanted to get the fuck out of that. You imagine she had your kid in the shit. Tony Bennett, let me go take a piss real quick. Oh shit. Were you that too gnarly of a story? I have this story.

I wanna be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some, somebody, twice as smart as I. A somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me. Who'll leave you to learn that misery loves company? Wait and see. I mean, I wanna be around to see how he does it

when he breaks your heart to bits. Let's see if the puzzle fits so fine. And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet. As I sit there applauding from a front row seat when somebody breaks your heart like you, like you, profile. We're back you bad motherfuckers. Uncle Joe here.

No, no, do your thing, go ahead. Go show your thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're back here just a little cross. But you know, just a little, just listen. The thing I love about podcasting is every, every fucking episode is something different. I couldn't stick to the same fucking episode every episode.

So we try to switch it up from time to time. We got great guests this week. Don't worry about nothing. We're always here changing fucking lives. You understand me? Don't forget this Friday and Saturday. I'm in Philly and DC. They're sold out.

But if you go for an angle, you're way in there. Get in there. And then there's tickets still available for... Foxwoods. Foxwoods on the 29th or the 28th of September. There's still tickets. Wilbert D. is sold out. West Palm, I'll be down there and shit.

So get your shit together, motherfuckers. This is my only Florida appearance. So Tampa, Miami for a lot of... They'll get your roller skates and get that cocaine ready. You're going up to 95 on fucking roller skates with a cape on. That's so crazy how your whole dream started down there on that, that little boxing gym, like your vision. You know what I'm saying?

I had no idea I would be able to get other people to want to be part of the 10th Planet Association. I had no clue. I was just happy that I had a group of 30, 40 guys that were leaving. Yeah. I mean, to have more affiliates, it just, it wasn't even a thought. I remember George Zergel back then, back when he was fighting the UFC. And then you hear he had 12 schools.

I thought, what the fuck? Is he a multimillionaire? What? He had 12 fucking schools? I couldn't believe it. I never thought I'd even have two. And then, you know, a couple of people ask, you know, how do we get affiliated with you?

And I thought, why would you want to get affiliated with me? I'm just some fucking Mexican. He's a, he had all these legendary Brazilians all around. Why would you want to learn jiu-jitsu from a Mexican? I thought you went to fuck. I thought you went to take a look with Owen Benjamin. No. I thought you wanted the Owen Benjamin fucking twist and shit.

No, dude, I just took a picture. How old were you when you got into conspiracy theories? My whole life, I've always been. What was the first conspiracy that you, are you on the mark? I am on the mark. What was the first conspiracy that you thought about? How old were you? I remember when the iron chic and hacksaw Jim Duggan

got busted in the car together. And I was like, hey, dude, these motherfuckers aren't supposed to like each other. And boom, I'm like, oh, that's, it's all bullshit. And that kind of, my dad's always made, always raised me to be a paranoid person. You know, he said, don't believe anything you see in half what you, don't believe anything you hear

in half what you see. Your dad's an immigrant. My dad, no, he's a, no, he's like second generation. Okay. So he was raised here. Yeah. But he's old Italian and he's like, you know, he just like, he'd be like, you know, if someone disrespects you,

you got scorched your earth with them. Just, you know, just wonderful advice. They gave me all the time. And it was just like, so I always questioned everything. Always, always. Never believed that. When was the first time you got into conspiracies, any problem?

When I found out everybody wasn't Catholic. It's okay. It happens. Yeah. I thought everybody was Catholic. I grew up in a neighborhood where everybody was Catholic. We had a neighborhood church, our Lady of Pillar, right there on sixth street in Santa Ana.

All, you know, when you watch TV, all the Catholic holidays coincided with what you saw in different strokes, you know, they would have Christmas specials and Easter specials and Halloween specials. I thought everybody was Catholic, but then once, I think I was 11, once I found out that there was a whole shitload of Jews and Muslims and, and Hindus. I thought, wait a minute, who's right here?

How come they're saying that if you don't believe their shit, you're going to hell? And they're saying if you don't believe their shit, you're going to hell, but we're saying that too. And then at that point, I thought, oh, okay, everybody's full of shit. So I just became an atheist right there. I didn't believe in anything.

I thought these motherfuckers are also anything that anything to do with religion from the time I was 11, 12, 13, I was like, you guys are just full of shit. But how do you, how could, you know, there's, I think there's, you know, isn't there more Muslims than Christians? And isn't, isn't, I don't know something like that, right? Or even if it's like even, that's still a lot of people

that don't believe in Christ. So that was really when I started doubting what the mainstream has given me. And then in 1985, when I was 15 on 2020, they did a special report on heavy metal music. And it was, it was based on the PMRC. And they were talking about, you know, if your kids are listening to Twisted Sister or Dio, they're probably

Satanist. And I was balls deep in the slayer. And I thought, what are you talking about? Twisted sister. I'm 15. I'm like, these motherfuckers supposed to know everything. You, you're holding up the wrong albums. Judas Priest, Judas Priest saying satanic, you need to

hold up creator and destruction and Sodom. Like I was into the like bands that were straight up talking about Satanism because like Dio, you know, or like you'd listen to like Motley Crue, maybe there's some backward masking shit on Led Zeppelin or something like that. But Slayer was writing straight out. There was no subliminal messages.

There wasn't any backward messages that were telling you that we're going to, you know, every song was about killing babies and, and, and demons rising from hell and sacrificing priests and, and fucking corpses and sending their souls to hell. You know, and all of a sudden I'm watching 2020 and they're talking about fucking Motley Crue and Judas Priest being satanic.

The kids are like, those motherfuckers aren't satanic. 185. You know what I mean? So these kids will listen to music backwards. Remember that they got taken to court, Judas Priest. Yeah. So the kid killed himself. Yeah.

As, as a kid who is balls deep into music like that, I was like, dude, you guys are going after the wrong bands. Yeah. You're not going, why aren't you going after King Diamond? His, his album covers are straight satanic. He's telling you he's satanic, but they were ignoring all the, the bands that were balls deep into Satan. Then they were going after bands that had nothing to do

with Satan. So what do you think it was? Like Judas Priest had nothing to do with Satan. What do you think, then why were they gonna? So I thought, okay, so I can't trust none of this shit. These guys have it all wrong. And that just got the ball rolling. And then the first, and then I was in speed metal bands

in my teens playing drums and you know, I was in a bank called resistance and we were conspiracy theorists, but we didn't know shit. There was no internet. All I knew is I couldn't trust anybody. And we were writing songs about, you know, anti-government songs and nuclear war songs and the typical shit that hardcore metal bands were writing about.

It was all anti-establishment, but we didn't know what the fuck we were talking about, but we just knew we couldn't trust anybody. We just knew that. I gotta ask you both a question real quick. Yeah. I always, you know, looking back at it, even while I was living it, I thought, even when my mind was in a dark

place and I would listen to Black Sabbath, I knew that it was, for some reason, I knew it was a marketing, something about it. Yeah, there is a... We saw, because I would hear them singing, but Ozzy would wear a cross. Black Sabbath, they were... They were a band that you can go after them.

You'd go after them. If 2020 went after Black Sabbath, they did... They had upside-down crosses and they were... Master reality. They were satanic light. Light. But they were nothing compared to the German thrash metal scene, Sodom and Destruction and

Creator and Slayer and all that shit, Bathory, King Diamond. They were... Every song was about Satan and worshiping Satan, you know? So, to go after Dio and Judas Priest and Motley Crew and that shit, that made me really lose any kind of fucking faith.

Do you think they went after those bands because they had investments in those bands? Is that why they went after them? Fuck, I don't know what the real motives were. Now, looking back, I'm like, maybe they were pushing it. You know what I mean? Maybe they were... By pretending that they were against it, they were

really pushing it and were trying to corrupt the youth. You know what I mean? I mean, if you take a look at something like the Grateful Dead, the CIA's fingerprints are all over them, man. They were the house band for the guys that made all the acid for the CIA.

And we're basically where the Grateful Dead went and played. That's where the acid would spread. Yeah, and they would let Slayer get away with anything they wanted. Slayer had a song called... That's one of their biggest songs ever called Angel of Death.

And it's all about killing Jews and ovens. You know? I mean, the opening line is Auschwitz, the meaning of pain, the way that I want you to die. Slow death, immense decay, something that cleans up of your life or whatever. But no one ever touched Slayer. They never touched them.

No one ever bothered them. And a song after that was a fucking song about frying Jews and ovens. It's so interesting. And no one said shit. Angel of Death. No one said anything. They just let it go.

You know, it's always loud. I wonder why. It's like they wanted it to get through. It was 87. I was on the run from the cops were looking for me and Aspen. And I went to Boulder and I worked out a job in a car wash like Rambo would if the cops were looking

for him. And all the kids I worked at all had long hair. And at this time I was, I was just, I was into cocaine. Right. I wasn't into bands anymore. I didn't read cream or Rolling Stone, but they were talking about Slayer.

This is the shit, you know, and I'm deep into Sabbath still. And I remember listening to it going, no, this is not going to work in my fucking world at all. This spooky shit. And I just didn't even know, but it was satanic until you just said nothing. And it's super fast.

Yeah. Super fast. Super fast. Yeah. I just missed it. It was like a chunk of my life. Right. A life black.

I dove in fucking head first. My first, my first introduction to speed metal was a band from Canada called Exciter. And at that point I was 13, 14, and I would buy, I wanted to buy, I was going after bands, the most obscure bands. I wanted to discover bands. Right.

And I, and I, I wanted to get a band that know an album that no one else had that was amazing, that had an amazing cover and had to have a fucking satanic sick ass cover. So I'm out looking to discover bands. And, and I read in Circus magazine, a little tiny review on Exciter, the album Heavy Metal Maniac.

And it was a great review. And they said super ultra heavy. And I thought, wow, that's, it just, it just, the album cover blew me away. The review enticed me. So I went out and bought the record. I didn't find Heavy Heavy Metal Maniac, but they had another album called Violence and Force.

And the album cover was awesome. So I bought that. I went out, drove to music plus on my bike, bought the album, got home, listened to it. And I fucking hated it. It was speed metal. I never heard speed metal before. It was super fast.

It was like punk. It was weird. It was just, it was horrible. I thought, fuck, what a tag. I'm going to take this album back first thing in the morning. I'm going to take it back. Cause if I didn't like an album, I'd take it back,

get my money back. I was too poor. So that was 699. So the next morning I plan on, I'm going to take this fucking garbage back. But the next day I thought, okay, let me give you one more chance. So I listened to it again.

And for some reason it just clicked and I just fell in love with it. And then from that point on, I got into Slayer and just, you know, Metallica. Then I got deeper and deeper into the German thrash metal scene. That only lasted really, and I started playing, making music like that.

I started playing drums and speed metal bands like that and writing satanic lyrics and nuclear war lyrics and all that shit. I did that. But by the time I was 18 and 19, I got burnt out on it. And then I started slowly getting into hip hop and more nine inch nails vibe.

And then I got sick of speed metal and just left the whole thing and just started doing, moved to Hollywood, left the speed metal and formed a band called Black and Kill Symphony. That was dark, heavy, but with a lot of synth like nine inch nails and the Cure and Depeche Mode, but what had hip hop and feel and I had a rapper, my best friend.

You know, we moved to Hollywood together. His name is James Watson. He was the rapper. He was the guitar player in my speed metal band. Black guy who played guitar and resistance named James Watson is my best friend. We moved to Hollywood and said, fuck speed man. I said, fuck drums.

So I killed the drums, started playing guitar and we formed Black and Kill Symphony, right? When we got to Hollywood and he started playing. No, he became the rapper and then he would play guitar every now and then. But um, metal was a weird shit, dude. And when Slayer came out, I never got into it,

but I was always into like Metallica, that whole thing. I love Metallica. That's close. Slayer's harder. It's harder and faster. Harder and faster. Way faster.

Way faster. AC DC, I love that shit. Like Metallica. I grew up on Motown though. That was my shit. Let me ask you a question. Because today, Roberto Clemente would have been 83 years old.

Wow. Greatest athletes of all time. Just did more for anybody. What the fuck was the Bermuda Triangle? I don't want to hear about fucking Slayer guys and fucking Metallica. I want to know conspiracy theories. What the fuck was the fucking...

I never really got into the Bermuda Triangle. It could be a vortex, dude. I think they've solved it, but yeah, it's just like, it's a vortex probably. It's just got weird energy and shit just happens when you go into it. But it's also like... What kind of fucking conspiracy theories are you

that you didn't get into fucking the Bermuda Triangle? Even me. I'm not a conspiracy guy. And I even had to do some search. So tell me about it. I mean, like, I just feel like... It was just this bad luck place. Yeah, that's what I was about to say.

Just a bunch of bad luck. I had this fucking diamond there and that's where Roberto Clemente's plane went down. They recovered some parts of the plane, but they never recovered the body. There were just so many things that would go on when I was growing up in the Bermuda Triangle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was a big thing. It's almost like John Mulaney's bit about how, you know, when he was a kid, he thought quicksand would be a much bigger problem in his life, you know? Now, like, you never see quicksand. Where was quicksand? Where do you find quicksand?

In the jungle, right? When I was a kid, there was everywhere. Yeah, you're like, fuck quicksand's coming, dude. Everybody was getting caught in quicksand in Hollywood. You see like three black guys. Like, we can't go, because they got caught in quicksand and shit. Yeah.

I just never understood a lot of... Quicksand, the Bermuda Triangle, you always thought, man, we can't fly through that. We'll never get out. The second conspiracy theorist I got into, and I gave up after a while, was Kennedy. Was what?

Kennedy. Yeah. Why'd you give up on it? Because it doesn't take a genius to know our government had something to do with it. Oh, perfect. Yeah. So once...

Our government already decided that it was a conspiracy, and no one talks about it. So it's not even a... It shouldn't even be a debate anymore. In 1977, the House Committee on Assassinations, they reviewed after like, you know, 14 years or whatever.

They reopened up the investigation on his murder, and they decided... The government decided, yes. In 1977, yes, there was a conspiracy. It was more than just one person. There were other people involved. And then that's it. Then they just put a halt to it.

They said, yes, there was other people involved. Because really it was... The debate is, was Lee Harvey Oswald a lone, nut assassin, or were there more people involved? That's all it was. It was just... Was there a bunch of people,

or was it one person? Our own government already came to the conclusion. Right. So it shouldn't even be a debate. The fact that it's a debate is crazy, because it shouldn't be a debate. There are people that think one bullet did it.

Yeah, but our own government already decided that it was more people. And then Trump declassified all this crazy shit that basically put George Bush there in Dallas that day, which is kind of interesting. And then you look at George Bush, like he's such a gangster motherfucker, dude. His family is very close with the Hinckleys, right?

Because they're all old oil money out of Texas. So the Hinckleys and the Bushes are friends. Who takes a shot at Reagan? Boom. Hinckley becomes president. Yeah, what would have happened if Reagan would have died? George Bush becomes president. Because he was the former head of the CIA

who became vice president. And his dad, Prescott Bush, helped form the CIA. His dad is super powerful. Prescott Bush, he was involved in funding the Nazis through Union Bank. Prescott Bush, George Singer's dad. And his dad, Samuel Bush, was the right-hand man of Frank Rockefeller.

The Bushes and the Rockefellers, they're balls deep. That's like super CFR, just Illuminati-type shit. They're running shit. The Bushes, are you kidding? Oh, yeah. Those are the... Dude, the Bushes basically... Some of the baddest gangsters of human history.

The Bushes and somewhat the Clintons basically wiped out the Kennedy family dynasty. Remember, they were like the top political family in the country. Not even close anymore. Wiped them out. Now it's Bushes and the Clintons. So while George Singer was the vice president

under Reagan, we went through the Iran-Contra scandal, right? And that was about running drugs and guns to support the Sandinistas and all that shit in Central America. All that shit. And what was going on was that the CIA was bringing in coke through Mina, Arkansas.

They were dropping it off. That was the drop-off point. Mina, Arkansas. In the 80s, Bill Clinton is the governor of Arkansas who had to allow this shit. So while Bill Clinton was the governor of Arkansas, that's when all the coke was coming in through Arkansas. And Bill was like, he was allowing it.

And then he becomes the president after George Singer. So George Singer is basically Bill Clinton's boss during the whole Iran-Contra thing. And then coincidentally, Bill Clinton, it becomes the next president. They hooked him up because he hooked them up. So when you see George Singer and Bill Clinton on stage debating, like in their presidential debates,

like talking about sending jobs overseas and raising taxes or cutting taxes and all that bullshit, they're really partners in crime. Working together, dude, for sure. They're like, you got this, they tagged him off. There's no reason ours. It's crazy gangster shit going on. Don't forget the day I first spoke to you about Mina, Arkansas.

We had that talk. Well, here's the thing that pisses me off about this. Now, if you watch Narcos, if you watch Netflix, they have six or seven shows describing to you the explosion of cocaine of the mid-70s to the mid-80s. And you look at something like that. You know, Lee doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Sam Tripp doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

And neither does Eddie in a way, because I saw what you guys are reading. I saw cocaine was very recreational. It wasn't around. It was acid and refa. And all of a sudden, it just, by 81, it just took off. Now, at this time, if you read the Chronicles and shit, the government finds out about cocaine.

But what the government really found out was about the money that they were making with cocaine. And at the end of the day, we don't care if you're doing coke and selling it, but nothing comes over here for the mouse. Nothing comes here for the mouse. I remember being a cocaine addict. In 81, 82, 83,

you could buy cocaine for 100 a gram to 80 to 250 in April. In 85, that all changed. Once the government got involved in the month. Now, I'm living through this. I'm living through this. And I'm hearing constant. All of a sudden, from 76 to 82, if you did a line of cocaine, guys,

it was like tasting cake for the first time. The good shit, right? You went, and it would go down, and the back of your throat would get numb, and it tasted kind of pinky, and your nose would get kind of numb, and you didn't get high. You didn't get that. You got high that your eyes kind of got red,

and they would play tricks on you. And after like two or three or four lines, that's when you would get this elevation of high. Well, that high changed over the years. You know, they told you that they said that how they really got to the cartel was the problem that we had created was that to make cocaine the final wash,

to make it taste good is ether. If your alcohol is what makes cocaine taste, that's why if I smell anything with ether, it illuminates me. It's cocaine. It's cocaine. Yeah. Ether alcohol is cocaine.

So there was a time where the roughest thing wasn't getting cocaine out of Columbia. It was getting ether into Columbia to wash. That's what it's called, to wash the final cocaine. Once they couldn't get the ether in, they started using fucking gasoline and turpentine. And you could taste it in the coke. Oh, yeah.

The coke became crack. People started saying, we can't sell that. I remember snorting coke that smelled like cat piss. Oh, my God. And that you would have headaches for three days. The coke was astonishing. It was like 99% pure. You would put a dot on your tongue and your head

would be fucking numb. You couldn't even talk. Making business ideas? But it would burn the bottom of your nose. And that became crack. People started taking that coke and going, fuck it. We're not going to sell it. Just burn it down into the slowest thing.

You know how they made crack in those days? It was horrible. I knew these guys in the early 80s that were already making because it was freebase at first. Right. And freebase was for the rich and famous. To freebase cocaine? Oh, my God.

To snort cocaine was one thing. But to freebase it? That was Belushi. That was Robin Williams. You have to have fuck you money. That's fuck you money because, bro, a little rock just shrinks on you. You got to have a guy there cooking it

with a silk fucking scarf or socks that are made from silk. So for every gram you use, you only get eight tenths back. Me and you could smoke eight tenths in two minutes. So I saw this evolution. And even though I was part of it and even though I thought it was cool and even though I grew up with it,

it ruined the country. Oh, for sure, dude. It destroyed the country. For sure. Like our own government destroyed the country. I mean, and this doesn't just go to cocaine. You know, if you walked around New York City in 1967 and 68 and 69 and 70,

I will tell you that if you saw ten people, two of them would be looking at you, Eddie, and all of a sudden they'd go... Heroin? And they not. They were on straight heroin. And then what do you go to find out? That years later, they were...

Vietnam was basically about heroin. They were just bringing heroin back by the fucking millions. And this whole country, that's what I don't understand. Like, when I see those shows now, somebody has to pay for what they did to this country. Yeah, Pablo Escobar was a scumbag and the metal ink cartel was scumbags

and the Cali Cartel was... They were assets, dude. But who helped them grow? Yeah, for sure. And that's why those pictures, like that whole thing, Tom Cruise made a movie about American maid and he got popped. It's a horrible movie.

But when you think about what was going on, it was just horrible. You know, then they started... The Sandinistas, whatever, were just bringing up coke. They cut them in. They weren't even having a war. They just cut them in to help bring cocaine up. Our own government flooded.

And then you hear the DEA going, well, 320 metric tons of cocaine were smuggled into our country. Where's the war on drugs? 300 metric tons. That's 2,000 pounds of fucking ton of cocaine. I can't snort that shit one year myself. Somebody had to be fucking snorting it.

But you look back at that conspiracy right there, that's not a conspiracy. That was something to ruin our country. I'll never forget having a teacher. His name was Fred Taranova. And I remember he had like a pseudo history class. And I still remember bumping into him on the street one day and him telling me that the Cubans were running cocaine.

And I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, they got it so sophisticated that the Colombians are taking the coke to Cuba. Remember when Bush sent down the troops in 85 to Colombia? And they were going through the jungles and they couldn't find any labs. They were long gone. They were processing cocaine in Cuba.

They were taking the cocoa leaves, shipping them to Cuba, bringing in the fucking ether from the Russians, which is even better than the American ether. They used that shit for steroids and D-ball and shit like that. And they were shipping the cocaine out of Cuba. And Fidel Castro would get 800,000 per ship load. And they were sending two to three ships a day filled with cocaine.

Nobody ever mentioned Fidel's name in any of those paperwork. But the story I'm getting to hear is that, because it killed me, it destroyed my life. You know how many people I see from my age now on Facebook that have no teeth, that are fucked up? That was all cocaine from the 80s, bro. And to think that our own government brought that in, shocks me, even as street smart, but I think I am.

I was always naive, but not naive. Wouldn't it be smart for them to blow up Colombian drug lords and Mexican drug lords? They just do the work themselves. Yeah, blow them up on movies, like Scarface, for instance. Wouldn't it be smart for them to blow up something like Scarface and movies like Scarface so that the people think that it's them that are bringing in all the cocaine,

not really it's us that's bringing it in. You know what I'm saying? Same thing with the Italian gangster movies. The conspiracy theory is that those, the people at the top, whatever you want to call them, they like pushing the Italian mobster movies because everyone thinks it's the Italians that are doing it when really they were low level.

Our own people were really the ones in charge of exactly the bankers and all that. The bankers. Yeah, but you blow up the Italians so everyone thinks the Italians have all this power and the Colombians have all this power and they're doing it when really it's us that are bringing it in.

The American government, there's a war on drugs, but we're bringing it in. Look at heroin right now with Afghanistan. Productions up 70% and now addictions up 70%. It could be even higher than that. I mean, let's not even talk about the opioid epidemic. What do you think is in charge of putting these pills in the street?

For sure. And then you hear the guy that basically flooded the market with those pills has now basically copyrighted the cure for that. Yeah, it's the most gangster shit ever, dude. He basically caused a problem, an epidemic of opiates and now he's got the cure for it too. Yeah.

I mean, that's just gangster shit. So really what we're talking about either it's true or it's bullshit. It's not true. It really is just the Colombians and the... But that's not true. Yeah. Well, of course.

Of course. But there's people that don't believe any of that. So either our own government is actually not managing and controlling the drug flow between internationally, either they're not or they are. And there's people that actually believe that our own government would never do anything like that. Right.

That's what I'm saying. That's the conspiracy. I grew up in Hudson County, New Jersey where it's very politically corrupt and it didn't take me too long to realize that that was politics on the micro level. Oh, for sure. What was that? The macro level.

You know, I went to the doctor three weeks ago and he goes, oh, by the way, we're switching up that blood pressure medication on you. We're switching it up. So when I got home, I gave my wife the note and we looked at it and the one we were on all of a sudden something's not right with it. And I'm thinking to myself, what happened?

They stopped paying. They stopped paying. That's it. They don't come in no more on Fridays and give you an envelope. Exactly. So now I'll start pushing this blood pressure medication, which you don't really know what the fuck they're giving.

You guys know I have an uncle. I called him. Now we have two conversations in the whole week. You know, he's had cancer for 10 years and he's still alive because he just changed his diet and refused to go to chemo. You know, he's 80 years old and he walks four to five miles every day, Monday through Friday in Griffin Park because he refused to get the chemo, the drugs the government gave you.

So he went to Mexico twice in the 10 years and got two blood treatments or something like that. He's still alive. It's crazy the things that our own government does to us. It's crazy that there's people that still, and I love the United States of America. Of course. I love being.

I love everything about it. But that kind of shit always destroys them. And it's so weird how it's like anything else in life. It's like being Catholic and going, all right, I'm going to go to church today, even though you know there are a bunch of fucking pedophiles. We look at what we want to look at and we don't look at what we want to look at.

You know, it's like when in comedy, it's like when somebody comes up to you and says, this guy's a joke thief, but he's your best friend. What do you do? Do you over, do you stop being his best friend or do you not discuss the joke thiefing that he's doing? You know, you're always put on that fucking spot. So.

Yeah. It's, I do the cronyism just keeps going. It's, it's crazy. What is cronyism? Cronyism is just basically where these guys just operate. They make money off of corruption. And that's what we at the highest levels on both sides, man. Like people think it's ours and these, they're falling for the

tricks. It's not these guys all work together, dude. I mean, dude, if you looked into what happened in Haiti, man, how much money was fleeced from that country after the, after the, uh, uh, the earthquake heart breaking, man. Haiti is a shithole because more than a billion dollars of aid was just taken out mysteriously by all these people that you're supposedly love.

It's unbelievable because they don't look at you like a person. They don't look at us like a people. We're numbers. We're resources. Listen, when all those things happen, I really try to be an American and help, but I picked my source of who I'm giving that money to. Don't give to, I don't believe it anymore.

I don't, I don't want to give money to an organization with three of the top guys have BMW convertibles. Oh yeah, man. Do you know what I'm saying? Like non-profit organization, but the guys got to come. Guys make it like we're all, most of them are scams. Those, uh, non, those, um, uh, NGOs, non-governmental organizations that, that, uh, it sounds like they're human, you know,

humanitarian. Yeah. But when you figure out the percentage that they have to give to be considered humanitarian, you laugh in their faces. Like I used to sell, uh, you know, as a comic, you have fundraising jobs. Right. So I used to fundraise for the cops in Seattle.

I thought I was working for the police department. I was working for two fucking ex-cons that gave you a sticker. If you donate really police benevolently. Yeah. When you got a call, hi, this is, uh, Sam Tripoli. I'm calling on behalf of, uh, Glendale County police. Sorry. I'm, I'm saying Glendale.

I don't care, man. Uh, I'm calling from Glendale police of armed because we're doing a fundraiser. You actually think it's a cops. It's three guys of the hill in Barham and a greasy place with no air conditioning and they get 30% of the take. So you listen, we're going to put our ad together, which comes out in June.

If you advertise and the, and put an ad in there, what happens is let's pretend you get broken into, you put a sticker on your glass and the cops will know that you donated. The cops don't get. Oh, that's all I do those cop events for. Is that card so I can get out of trouble? Yeah. Well, the card is one thing.

The card is one thing. I live on those cars. Yeah, dude. I got a DA one. Yeah. I got a DA one. Get your dog out of my shit. This is my friend.

I got it. I got the real ones. I got the fucking, I got a gold one too from Hoboken. Oh, I live for these things. The fucking get out of jail. Free card. What's it say there? Yeah.

Yeah. We ain't fucking around though, but that's not the thing. You look at the NFL, man. That whole like pink week cancer awareness, the amount of money that any organization gets for the fine research to cure cancer from the NFL is like 10%. 10%. It's some insane number allegedly. Some insane number.

Like they, I mean, Michael Jordan was notorious for it back in the day through charity events and like 20% went to the actual, you know, to the cause. There's this guy in Laos or Thailand who had a foundation for kids that were, were in child sex trafficking. And his, his story was, he's the head of this foundation. I forget what the name of the foundation is, but his story is that he saves all these children from sex trafficking rings and in Thailand. And he built this school to help them rehab and, and re, you know, educate themselves.

And people just started sending them money. He's like, fuck, like who wouldn't want to donate to that? This guy is, is breaking into these camps where these, where they're keeping these children, you know, as slaves and he's breaking them out, taking them through rivers. That's what the story is on the website. Like he's taking all these children and he has profiles of each of the children and they have their stories of, you know, how their mom sold them to sex trafficking and all this shit, all the kids have different profiles.

So people, the website is touching to say the least. And people are just donating all sorts of cash and he built this big compound and it's a real compound with the school and they really are educating these kids and the kids are happy as fuck, happy as fuck. Cause then that interview when they go, man, they, they're super appreciative. They can't believe it that they're getting an education for free. They can't believe it. But then when you look into it, the guy wasn't, these kids weren't from child sex trafficking.

They were just poor kids from, you know, in the jungle, you know, in villages and he would offer them education and the parents would go, yes, you know, take my kids, educate them. But the kids had no idea that there was this website and they had this story that supposedly came from their mouths that was saying that, you know, that at six, their mother sold them to child. You know what I mean? It was all bullshit. So this guy got too greedy and this is how he got busted.

He got too greedy. He got a documentary team to come out to film, you know, what he was all about and to drum up more business and to get more donations. He was getting all this money from people, all rich people all over the world and the documentary crew, they're the ones who were going, wait a minute, something ain't right here. Something ain't right. They figured it out.

They go, these kids weren't from child sex trafficking. Then they corner the kids and they pulled them aside and they, they made them read the story that was on the website. They had no idea the story was updated. They had no idea. They're like, oh my, they started, all of them start fucking freaking out and crying. They're like, they thought, oh my God, their life is ruined. Everyone thinks they're a prostitute, a child prostitute.

But they weren't. They were just regular kids from, you know, the country, country in Thailand and poor kids that they were helping. What's going on right now? Yeah. This guy got busted and he just disappeared and they, you know, no one knows where he's at. There's a couple that raised like money for this like Marine, this homeless Marine.

$400,000. Yeah. Are they giving it to him yet? Yeah. Go find me, has to give it to them because they, they back it. But yeah, they, they're going to court and they're going to be in trouble. Yeah. Because they got, they got like nothing.

They're trying to keep it, right? Yeah. They got, they give him like $90,000 of it. Yeah. I don't, I don't. May I ask you something Sam? Because I've listened with 10-4 hat with the podcast. What are you trying to do?

What are you doing with people? I just like to, to be honest with you. And you pick a new topic every week. Every week. So last week, the autopsy from Bruce Lee came back. They did it on that show. Remember when we were, when we were kids, there was a guy on HBO that was fantastic. But this guy, and I thought of you, I almost called you.

They did not autopsy on it? Yeah. They reopened up the case. The Reels did the Gandalfini. And I watched them to see what they, they did the Whitney Houston one. Right. And Whitney Houston, they said that Whitney Houston didn't die of cocaine. What happened was she did a couple of bumps and went into the shower and the shower was

so hot. But since her body was numb, she didn't feel the heat. And that's a really killed Whitney Houston. Really? Yeah. Like they had. Holy shit. Interesting shit.

Like Gandalfini, they, like I watched Gandalfini for 20 minutes. I looked at my wife. I go, if they don't mention cocaine, I'll never watch this show again. And then they went off on the cocaine. How much coke he was doing, how they found out he went to multiple rehabs and his heart. So now I pay attention because they, at least they tell the truth. At least they tell the truth. Who's that?

You know what I'm saying? Well, this channel, this doctor. How do you know that's, how do you know that's the truth though? Because he would, they wouldn't have talked about the cocaine. They could have just said that he died of a heart attack. He went through everything. He goes from the Sopranos, they found out how many rehabs he had gone through. Oh, he was notorious during set.

Yeah. Like he would just disappear. He's dead, banging. They do from Sopranos. Yeah. The guy that was in true romance. Yeah. Oh shit.

When did he die? A couple of years ago, four years ago. That's crazy. Now this guy started talking about how he would do no shows on the Sopranos. Four days. No show. No here. No nothing.

He would come back and he would pay for the days off. He would pay the days to the staff for missing. And then he would fly in sushi and different food. And then they apologized in two weeks later. But the moral of the story is that. He was going hard in the pain. Yeah. Oh, everybody knew that.

Everybody knew that. And because of that, I started paying attention to the show more. And a couple, because you brought me on to talk about what. What happened to Bruce Lee. So what they say happened. And I always believed there was a, my conspiracy theory was when he told him he was doing into the dragon, he was switching governments and they, that would cut off their money laundering. Because they were money laundering through his movies.

All those time movies, they were just, they shot all those in Thailand. And it was Raymond Chow. And it's really funny that after. Golden Harvest. Golden Harvest. After Raymond Chow and Bruce Lee died, Raymond Chow became a big producer in the United States, even producing Charles Bronson movies. So I always thought there was some type of conspiracy or something like that.

You know, how he died, how it was really, like there was no internet back then guys. Yeah. So you died in China. It took until the boat got here. Yeah. For us to find out about Bruce Lee. Nobody knew that one day on the streets, people started talking about it. We went into Chinatown and got the newspaper from China and they showed you the pictures

of him in the casket, but it wasn't, there's no internet. There was no encyclopedia. And what he talks about is he died from a cortisol addiction that nobody knew about. What? Cortisol. Cool. What are you shooting at you when you have pain? Oh yeah.

Cortisol? He did. So he hurt his back and he would shoot a lot of cortisone and because cortisone does something, the side effects to cortisone, he never went off the cortisone. He never went off it that during enter the dragon, he got to the lightest he ever was. He was like 123 or something like that. They were worried about him. So he broke it down.

He goes, and then when he did that aspirin, the analysic, he had so much cortisol on his blood. It was death by misadventure. You know what I'm saying? So there's nothing shady behind it? No. It was something that he had developed years earlier, something with that. There's a side effect to cortisol and he was having mental lapses at the end.

He was forgetting shit. Yeah. What if your first theory was actually correct? He was murdered by the Chinese triads, which is a conspiracy theory. And that's what you thought at first. If that was true, wouldn't it make sense to put out a documentary to distract from that and to say, yeah, we did some tests on his blood. He died of cortisol.

You know what I mean? I mean, listen, first off, it's a 45 year old court, whatever document when you guys don't know is like, listen, and I'll tell you this right now, we'll wrap it up. Just so you know, at the age of 16, I found out everything about my life. And my father, who was, I was always told died of a drug, died of a heart attack. What happened was he was the first Cuban committee man in Union City, New Jersey. So they were up playing him at the time when you landed from Cuba in Miami, there was billboards that said, come to Union City, there's life for Cubans there.

So it became the second biggest, highest population for Cubans. Along the way, my father had a business, he had two businesses, and this is way precastrum. So he had, he was a committee man from like 56 to 66 until he died. He was on some board. And when he died, he died of a cocaine overdose. He died of a heroin. He thought he was doing coke, but somebody gave heroin. Oh my God.

He got heroin, killed him instantly. And then all that got covered up, dude. They made my mother send them to Cuba, and my father was buried in Cuba. So when I, I didn't find this out till I got older, like, why would my mother send my father to fucking Cuba? Like, it just didn't make sense. And in those days, it wasn't like you could just call United. So my mother went with him all the way to Mexico, and then in Mexico, they shipped him

to Cuba, and then his family picked them up. So my mother could never collect the insurance policy that he left for me. He left me a prudential insurance policy. It was never signed by the county coroner. My father's debt is still, the coroner never signed it. Now my father was a nobody. He was a nobody. So imagine what they do, like, again, we're talking about this shit that, you know, he

was a nobody. Why would they cover it up? So till this day, prudential wants me to go to Cuba, dig him up for them to give me any money. Like in 19-something, then, like in 1980, that was the deal for us to go to Cuba, reanalyze the bones and see if it was him. So after that, how do you think I felt about governments and shit like that? Like, I don't believe in nothing, so let's see what my own mind is.

That's what it's all about. That was my best. Question everything. That's what I always say, dude. Everything. That's really all we do. We just have fun. You question it.

And we're wrong a lot, you know, we're wrong a lot, but it's really tough. It's better than just going along with comedy. That's my whole thing, man. It's just like you watch the news. They lie to you all the time, constantly, man. They tell you, listen, the best thing about podcasts is listen to what happened to podcasts. It destroyed the economy central. That credibility became bullshit.

You guys have been hiding the real comics from us for the last 10 years since you've been in fucking, since 1992 or 1991 that you've been in business. You've been giving us hand-selected comedy that you guys like, not the animals that were out there. They lost friends. It's so crazy now, man. That's why now, even as a musician, fan of music, you gotta think to yourself, was Kiss really the best band that was out there or was Kiss what they shoved down my throat?

Exactly. Exactly. Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? I can appreciate you too in full time because I think that has been really interesting.

A lot of folks here have been laying anonymous about this. They've checks out their character, you know. What happened to the story and they were like wow, it's just one hell of a surprise. All people like coming in with this. Going through german for all time. But man, if they were in an Illuminati operation, they're perfect. Look at the four characters that they're at. Look what the Nazis did when they formed NASA and gave us the fake moon missions, right?

They keep promoting space. And then Gene Simmons, the fucking demon. When you look into the Illuminati, their dark art homeboy, their worshipping Lucifer, right? And then Paul Stanley, he's Paul Stanley. That's the, you know, that's the the feminism in men right there. So they got four gigantic characters that are powerful in the Illuminati movement. That's just, you know, that's just me getting crazy. That's just me getting crazy.

But you brought it up. You said, would have kissed, wasn't the best man. What if that's, what if that's, what if that's just, what if that's just. What if that's just. Wasn't Leonard Skinner. What if the car, you want to bring it to what you sold me. And WA, dude. Exactly.

That's what you sold me. That's what you sold me. And WA. It's what you sold me. So I've always quite listened. I love being a Catholic. But I gotta tell you guys something. At the age of 10, I questioned it.

Right. Of course. Right. Why is a nun hitting me? Yeah. You promote love. Yeah. And whatever.

You know, so that's. Why are they all fucking kids? You know what? What's up with that? Yeah. No, but nobody goes to jail for that. I didn't know nothing about fucking the kids. You know, I didn't know that, like even the Mormon church owned 70% of Sunset Boulevard.

Yeah. Something crazy. Yeah. Something crazy. What? I didn't know that. That's news to me. Yeah.

Something crazy. About Scientology. I read years ago. Yeah. That's the Mormon. That's why. Do you know Donald Trump when he got elected? He went to Utah and he talked to the church of the Mormons to kiss the ring.

Like they're very powerful. And they're very much of an outside power source compared to what goes on in Hollywood. You know, I mean, in Washington, DC, they say these big trials are going to happen, you know, that they keep talking about with QAnonymous and all that stuff, which is this guy who gives information out to people because you can't get it on normal networks. But he basically says that's where a lot of the judges are going to come from, Utah and Mormons. Like Trump had.

That's where he was at, right? Yeah. Crazy shit, man. Crazy shit. I love it, though, dude. I love it. And you know what I love? We're wrong, dude, but we're right a lot, too.

And the thing is that nobody keeps score. That's the whole thing. Nobody wants the truth. Yeah. You know, that famous movie, you don't want the truth because you really can't handle the truth. Right. You know what?

You want to know that our own government was pushing out on our streets. You know, I loved the smoke and coke. I didn't know that the CIA was putting it on fucking the streets of Compton and black neighborhoods to make them even weaker than what they were. I'll never forget reading an article in Time that the man with the golden gun was being hidden in Cuba. Some guy, I forget what his name was in the 70s that was escaping from the United States. I remember them saying at that time, I had a teacher, Mr. T, and him going, for years,

the Russians have been selling coke. It's all communists. And I remember saying, why would communists want to sell coke in the United States? He goes, because it makes them a lot easier to take over. When they come over and they put the guns up and we put up bags of kilos, they're going to throw the guns up and they ain't going to fuck it. So it made sense, all this shit I learned over the years. It's just people don't really want to know there was a fake moon landing.

You listen to the stories now, how bad the country was in shape. They needed something to be pro-American, so they thought about going to the moon and landing, but the wind wasn't blowing the right direction, so they fucked up the flag, you know what I'm saying? No, it's all crazy shit. I never knew you were- And the whole thing isn't to get everybody to grade everything all the time. Yeah, it's like when there's a murder and there's really no evidence at first, a detective,

a group of detectives will come up with every possible scenario at every- no matter how ridiculous it is, if it's somehow possible, it's a scenario and they got all, they line up all their scenarios and all their suspects and then one by one, they eliminate them. It doesn't mean that every scenario is correct. It can't be. It's impossible that every scenario, but you come up with every possible angle. So that's all we do. When something happens, like anytime a celebrity is killed, conspiracy theorist is going to

have questions. You're going to have the official story that you read on your phone when you're taking a shit, like, oh my God, you know who died and you read it on your phone, and then the police confirmed that it was a suicide. You know what I mean? Are you going to believe that? You read it on your phone, you're taking a shit, it's on your iPhone, it's on CNN, it's on the Washington Post, so and so died, police confirmed it was a suicide.

They confirmed it that goddamn quick. Are you going to believe that? Maybe you do believe it. Maybe it's true, but a detective wouldn't just believe that shit. A detective would start looking into it and putting up, you know, coming up with as many different scenarios as possible and putting together clues. That's what that's what you do. You just don't read your iPhone and just believe that should confirm a police confirmed that

it was a suicide. Okay, that's it. Boom. That's it. That's it. You know, but then there's all this crazy, these crazy little things that are going on around that certain suicide that you're like, wait a minute, motherfuckers. You know, there's a lot of crazy fishy shit going on around here.

And to be to be ridiculed for questioning something that you read on your fucking phone while you were taking a shit questioning, you're ridiculed. You're ridiculed. I'll tell you what one thing, if if it ever comes out, you ever find out that I committed suicide, I'll fucking do backflips in my fucking grave. If you start getting on Instagram saying, oh, we lost another good one to drugs, I will be pissed off if anybody wrote that shit. Because if it comes out that I committed suicide, I was fucking murdered because I ain't committing

suicide. You know what I mean? So it's people think it's disrespectful to question. Yeah, that's funny. They think it's disrespectful when someone comes out and you know, someone commit suicide and you read it on your phone. Cops said Cops said that it was a suicide. They ruled it a suicide to question that and to get ridiculed is disgusting.

That's disgusting. You know what I mean? If someone if like you found out that someone you you love close to you and you found out just like everyone else, they committed suicide and you fucking all you knew is what you fucking read on your phone and the cops. And then then someone came up to you and said, hey, dude, there's more, would you want to hear it? Or would you say, no, don't bring that up.

It's too soon. Yeah. It's too soon. It was a suicide. There's building here maybe eight years ago that I knew the kid. Yeah. Until this day, I always knew that something was wrong in two years after that is disrespectful to go.

Wait a minute. Maybe it wasn't a suicide. Yeah, I don't get that. I don't get why accepting the official narrative of people respect their their their family. I think their family would want to know who really did it. There was some fishy shit going on. The best was they killed Osama and London, but they threw his body off the ship. Oh, yeah.

Nobody would see it. Exactly. Because they're all that shit. Come on. Come on. They're shit. Up dumb. That's crazy, dude.

But the problem is. They won't release the autopsies. Yeah. The Vegas shit. I mean, come on. There's so much. It's just too much that if you get caught up in it and you start doubting, you will go crazy.

For sure. Because you'd lost faith. So that's why what you got to do is your structural basis of law. You always got to have the foot on the ground, right? You always got to have that. And it's like the way I see conspiracies is no different than the person who's always watching MSNBC, you know, Christopher Titus is a wonderful comedian. I think he's a killer.

He put out that like he'd thank Rachel Maddow for teaching him more about like US history. And I'm not saying anything bad about that, but he obviously watches MSNBC all the time. That's where he gets his news. I just like to investigate. I just like to learn to see what's going on and then kind of be like, oh, here's a pattern. And it's kind of. I think I'm going to change anything. The only thing that I do after I learn all this is how I interact with people in the

world. How do I treat people? Okay. I try to treat people with love, respect. When John McCain dies, I don't run around talking about what a war hero is because that's not the truth, man. And there's a lot of shady shit about that, motherfucker. You put a lot of our sons and daughters in very bad harms way.

It's just a fact, man. And I'm going to get some shit about that and I'll say, oh, hey, man, I love you. I'll stand by it, man. That's what the best about having a partner is, you know, I remember him that we have a voice now. Yeah, we have a voice now. You don't have to sit at home and go, you know what? Fuck you, motherfuckers.

That's not what happened. Let me ask you not go ahead something. You and my brother here going on the road doing some dates together, which I'm proud of you. I'm proud of Eddie for fucking come in. I'm proud of you. He's doing great, man. I'm really proud of you.

All these guys have been around comedy for so long and they get in it. I can't believe Lee's doing comedy. Well, he's been around it for six years. He watches every special on Netflix. After a while, you got to give it a chance. Yeah. Eddie's been around it. I still remember Eddie going on stage 2004.

2001. Wow. So. Bombing. This doesn't surprise me. Bombing. Oh. But he got it.

He got it. You're doing great, dude. You're doing great. And that's all that matters. Thank you, man. Where's your next date, you fucking sandwich? We're here. September 14th, 15th that we're at the Corner Comedy Club in Niagara Falls, Canada.

It's at the CornerComedyClub.com. It's Friday and Saturday. Yeah. We've sold a bunch of tickets, man. So this Friday and Saturday. Yeah. Yeah. Niagara Falls.

And I'm doing a seminar Saturday day in Niagara Falls to a jujitsu school out there. Get on my Instagram for the details. It's at eddybravo10p. What are the dates that you're doing comedy at 10-4? I had that. So we're also do. They're on my website, SamTripley.com. We're also doing Philadelphia in October.

October 12th. October 12th and then the 14th, the funny bone. And Syracuse. Yep. So October 12th and Philly, October 14th. So we're doing Friday and a Sunday. That Saturday and doing a seminar in Bethlehem. But 10th Planet Bethlehem.

And then we're going out to the following month. We're in Houston, November 3rd. And Austin, November 4th. So. Do you guys get on stage and just do a podcast or just two guys doing stand up? We do about an hour of stand up and then we do about 30 to 45 minutes Q&A with the crowd. There's usually four of us. It's me, Sam, Ryan, who's his co-host on the 10-4.

Sam's my love. He's a great guy. He's a great dude. I love him. 10 foil hat podcast, which is awesome. His co-host Ryan off the grid, Ryan, he's usually with us. And we have another guy, Tres Mala, who we could bring out when financially it makes sense.

You know what I mean? So there's four of us. When we go on the road, it's just going to be me and Sam just for financial purposes. And then we'll take a local comedian, but it's so much fun though, fun to have to have a whole crowd that's at least tower seven and over. You know what I mean? If they're all on tower seven, it's a lot easier to talk to them. You know what I mean?

Because if I had a crowd that was half people that believed Hillary Clinton was a good person, dude, I'd be bombing. It's not going to be a good night. So that's how 10 foil hat comedy came about. We, you know, I did a couple of shows with Sam, you know, random shows at the comedy store with comedy chaos. And it just, man, I got, I got two conspiracy too quick and it just didn't flow right. The first couple of shows.

And I called up Sam one night and I said, dude, can we do a 10 foil hat fucking comedy show where it's just nothing but people that are at least at tower seven. If you're at least the tower seven, then fuck, how much fun will that be? Yeah. So that's what we started doing. 10 foil hat comedy. And it's, it's been, we went to San Francisco and Sacramento and fucking smashed it there was crazy.

It was, it was fucking crazy as we get to San Francisco a half an hour before the show. It looks like it's one fourth filled. And then we went backstage and we're like, you know what, no one showed up. No big deal. No big deal. No one showed up. It's all good. You know, we're just going to go out there.

There's a hundred people. So what? That's a hundred people. It doesn't matter. But we went out by the, and then five minutes before the show started, I went out and took a look again and it was fucking packed. And I went upstairs and I told Sam, you're not going to believe this. And he goes, what?

I go, dude, all of a sudden it's fucking packed. And he goes, no, we went out there like, holy shit. That's when we knew that maybe there's a chance that we could take this on the road. We were in San Francisco making fun of Obama and people are going crazy. Yeah. In San Francisco, that's crazy, dude. It's very powerful. And then Sacramento, which is cool.

I love, I love doing comedy in front of your crowd when I opened up for you a couple times because it's just all Mexicans and it's all Latin. They're not necessarily conspiracy theorists at all. They're just Mexicans. I love just going up and doing Mexican like non conspiracy theory comedy. Not all my, my comedy is about conspiracy theories. I talk about, have dick jokes and fart jokes and shit like that. And um, Sacramento, it was all conspiracy, uh, it was a conspiracy crowd, but they were

all Mexican. So it was the Sacramento show was fucking insane. We had so much fun. It's just, um, the combo of Mexicans and, uh, conspirators were great. Listen fuckos. I'm happy you stopped in tonight. You know, I love you both. I love you, dude.

I love you too. So you too. This is one of my favorite shows to do. I like it. I think it's probably sold out already. It's always sold out. You're doing that. I'm doing, I'm doing Tuesday.

Yeah. You guys are nice. I hate bothering you guys. I hate bothering you. I love when you call me. You're fine. I hate it. You don't bother me.

It's just, I just don't know when I could be there. But it's all good in the hood. Man. Yeah. It's a guaranteed sold out man. They're always sold out. Yeah. It's a great show.

It's a great show. Joe Rogan's always doing it. Rogan's on. It's a great show. Gatheo Vaughn. Yeah. This is going to be great. Tom Segura.

Ari Duncan. Thank you for having me on, dude. Thank you. What day is this? 10 for a heck of a month? It's this weekend. We put it on every Monday and Thursday. Oh, the podcast.

Yeah. There's two podcasts a week. Yeah. Yeah. Sam, all the best. I love you, bud. Tommy's still a family. We've been together 20 years now.

I had a great time. We had them at the Dodger game Monday night with the kids. I had them fanning out. It was a tremendous sight. I went to the Dodger game. I was fucked up in the chair. I saw that. We couldn't eat edibles.

Hey, man, we were so high. Seriously. This is no joke. I have a real legit fear of heights and no seats. The highest Dodger. I felt like the whole time I had that fear running through my blood. I felt like I was going to fall off.

And my son's with me and I'm looking over at my son and I just want to grab him. But there's no way you look. There's no way we can fall off. But we were pretty goddamn high and the whole time I'm afraid of falling off. I'm a fucking pussy. We sat and we took pictures.

We had kids. We just took a picture. You know it's so funny because I put me and E.B. with our families at the Dodger game. And all we got for like an hour was like, that's great. It's war. But then you always got people like you. You couldn't have got better seats.

It's not about the better seats. It's just about being together with your family. Next time we got to go lower though. I could call a friend and sit right behind the Dodgers. But I don't want to do that. We're not with five-year-olds. I want to attract as least attention as we did. We got a guy that sat in front of us from Liverpool.

We took a picture with us. We ate. You know. And I'm going to try. There's five home games left. I'm going to try to go to one more. We'll expect my phone call. I love you, Sam.

Thank you. I love you too. I want to thank Eddie and Sam for stopping him. But most importantly, listen to me. 23andMe is a DNA testing service that could offer insights into your ancestry, health, wellness, and traits. The bitter taste report versus the salty reports. DNA play a role in determining what your food preferences are.

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Who's fucking better than you? I want to thank 23 and me. I want to thank my bookie. I want to thank Sam Tripoli. I want to thank Eddie Bravo. You guys know them both and how to get a hold of them. I want to thank my main man, the Christkiller. But most importantly, you guys.

You're my family. And again, I'll see you guys right now. The only tickets available are at Fox Woods Casino in Connecticut. So hopefully I'll see you guys there this month if you're from the East Coast. I love you motherfuckers. Have a great week. This is a great way to start the week. Stay black.

Kick this fucking mule, Lee. You can run, you can hide, but you'll never get away. You can lie and deny, but you know you're gonna pay. Never loved, never walked, you could. Treat your ride, girl, you know how I would. You can fight, but deny, but come, then you can lose. I want you. I want you.

I want you. I want you. You can walk in a haze, you can travel till you die. You can live in a dream, not your life will last your life. Every day that you have to take, you'll never change in the hands of fate. You can fight, but deny, but come, then you can lose. I want you. I want you.

I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you.

I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you. In the morning I've raised my head, and I'm beating a crass long ride,

and the thing I want out of life... is... I want you. I want you. I want you. I want you I want you I want you I want you

I want you I want you I want you I want you