Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #622 - Aron Kader
Episode Date: October 1, 2018Aron Kader, a stand up comedian seen on Comedy Central as a founding member of the "Axis of Evil Comedy Tour," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Â Â ... MyBookie.com -Â Use code promo Church to get up to a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000. Deposit after 7pm EST and they will give you another $25 in free play. Â Onnit.com - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Â
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October 1st you bad motherfuckers Monday
Hey
Church what's happening now you bad motherfuckers man in last long brother Ari Kader
Christ killer
And your uncle Joey here
A little old I made the first down second down something like this here we go
Oh
Fucking tremendous shit finally
Finally, I got to get my little brother around here 20 years on the show. Mr. Aaron Kader, man
creator
Fucking the bless them access of evil tour the whole fucking deal
Talk to me. Bless you. Some of my earliest memories of comedy
Or through you, you know, I started DC or you started out here with us. No, I came out here in 93
went to LA city college
an older brother who was at USC
percussionist musician
And so I was friends with all those guys, but uh just would go to LA city college
And I took acting class and then somebody came in from the groundlings did a class and I saw improv and fucking
You know, it blows your mind when you first see it, you know, it's magical
And I and then I took acting class then I went to groundlings
And then I was waiting to go through the levels and then I started stand up
And what was the first place that you watched stand the bat?
um
It was uh the belly room
What made you walk into the comedy stories a thousand other places to watch? I know it was uh barnhardt
on sunday nights
and kirsten and um
Cynthia levine kelly kirsten
And um, you know adam barnhardt is still there on sunday nights. I know rehab speed
craziness
He is one of he is one of the best guys. Yeah in comedy. Like I was friends with him
Him and I would sit and talk about addiction. Like he was fucked up. I was fucked up. It was our own little secret
We shared drugs from times of time, you know, I knew he was gay as fuck
Which made me love him even more because he was not his show was crazy upstairs on sunday nights
Like I would get there earlier before hosting and do this because he also taught like a comedy class
Yeah, he started teaching teaching also
So I did some speaking for him, but then he went away for a while. Yeah, and we kept in touch with the phone
It's so weird all the personalities. Yeah, and I see him up there now
But he was like a rock rock
Like rock star gay rock star kind of person. Yes. Yes stage. Yeah, you know, he was eccentric and he's and like
Yeah, I never seen anything like adam like he does some crazy thing that you know, it's just always
On the line of figuring out what is this? What is it?
When mitzi would make somebody irregular and they were gay
They were fucking good
They were good at gay comedy whatever the fuck came out of that mouth was gold like and didn't last for a long time
Because I remember they
I was talking to someone. What was the place off Melrose? No, it was off Santa Monica. It was right in the heart of fucking Boys Town
It was down one of those streets and it was in a basement
And on like Tuesday nights. It wasn't Largo. It had a different name. I don't know if you were around for that
Not on prom not out in Santa Monica. No, no, no, no, this is in Santa Monica West Hollywood right down las yannigan
You hook a right on Santa Monica if you went a mile you went too fast
It was behind it was across the street
Going down towards melrose
And there was a place in there
I seem nice there upstairs like the place was so hot like it was before
Jay Davis and yeah, and I'm not mad 2000 right. I met I met first got the bar next to
Jay Davis that was the first
Place I met I met I met 98
I was a comedy store regular and on Tuesday night he booked a place called the union the union
And it was right about the time when that movie came out
The him and his two roommates. Oh
the play swingers swingers swingers so
Vince Vaughan dated a girl and all of them lived together
But then the girl and Vince Vaughan broke up and she started booking comedy
So she would book that room on Tuesdays and it became like one of the biggest rooms on the strip on Tuesday because Tuesdays
was uh
Yeah, why is joe tories night at the college on tuesday. It was big white people would get intimidated and they wouldn't go to your
Comedy store
So your spot at the comedy store on tuesday was always a shit spot. Yeah, it was always eight people or less
I think it took four to start the show
But it had eight people like it was so intimidating when you went past the comedy
It's nothing about prejudice or anything like that
It was just that there was 600 black people
In a fucking area of of sunset that would just scare the shit out of white people
And it was well known. It was lee. I mean everybody black celebrities were there black celebrities
I'm talking about it was real spot. It was a hot spot limos pulling up and it was just a hot spot
So white people said we don't belong there. So unless you stayed at the I saw deaf comedy jam
Yeah, unless you stayed at the hotel next door or across the street and stumbled into the county store
You weren't in there. It was known in LA. Yeah, so that every tuesday became an alternative night somewhere
So lago had comedy with sarah silvan
Mitch headberg, you know those guys and then there was another club that the guy who ran it god rest his soul. He's dead
He was a guy from long island that had a great bit about otb
But if you went downstairs, that's where we talked about last night after the podcast
We were talking about girls who sucked dick. I don't want to forget that I was there one night
Like I was like this was the hot spot
At the time this was before I met I met this had to be 97 west hollywood. This is when
There was a bikini bar that's still there. I think it was hollywood
It's a straight-up bikini bar and they did comedy on tuesdays
So if you were lucky you got a spot at the bikini bar and then you went over to that bar
But the other bar the downstairs was a showcase room
So it was filled with agents
So you had to be a certain type of comic or the guy had a like you the guy had attitude
Because he knew now that his room could blow you up
But the first time I went to the bikini room warfrazier with no
What's the guy that said he fucked a thousand women?
Oh, well will chamber was there. I'm like damn there goes my game
Like we'll chamber was there just talking to bitches. Oh, we're all there doing comedy nobody paid attention to the
I forget who booked that room and then we go over to that other place and watch
The comics that would go up and they were all the hottest
Montreal comics in town. You're not talking about lago, huh? No lago was more alternative. Was it lago was on fairfax
Yeah, right fairfax up the corner. It was called something before the lago though. Yeah
But that pizza place is gone
The one across the street from cantors. Ah, that was like the last pizza place. It was open till three
Rogan would always take me there. Oh, you mean on up cross from cantors. Yes. Yes. Oh, what is that place called?
Domiano, Domiano
Domiano's was fucking good. Yeah, they had a good sandwich
But that too. I never forgot I was telling the story after the podcast that that was the first time ever
I had been here like seven months. I didn't know the game. Oh, you had just gotten to L.A.
And I just got to L.A. and this was the hottest club the hottest clubs were
You know, the comedy store was just a fucking splatoon. Yeah
In those days, it was just known as the coke place to dump. Yeah, it was the comics were funny
But you don't want to be there. You might get it's dark. Yeah
Last factory was the hip club
And the improv had always been hip because Jay Leno and all that was starting
So the comedy store was the pits. Yeah, we were just happy to get spots there
But you had to go around town and do different routes
But that was the first time ever. I'll never forget this girl
Good-looking girl with the fucking leopard topper
Came up to me. She's like, what are you doing here? And I go, I'm doing the spot
And she goes, did they give you 10 or 15 minutes? I think I told them they gave me 15 minutes
And she said to me, what if I suck your dick for seven and a half of those minutes?
And I'll never forget like looking at like, oh, what did you just say?
I could say me saying this to somebody like, you know what I'm saying?
You want eight minutes?
I could see me saying that
But a woman saying it to me. I just looked at her and asked like, are you fucking crazy?
And I just saw her she's still in the game. Really? Yes. She's still in the game fat huge. Oh, really?
Puffy lips. She did plastic surgery and shit. Are you even allowed to do that?
Like can you go up to the manager be like, hey, I'm gonna give Sally eight of my minutes
I'm gonna give her seven of my minutes. We'll be right back
Put somebody up before me because you're not getting the minutes until you suck my dick. You know what I'm saying?
I was strict about that
You're not getting the time this ain't on credit either
And then you bomb and you're depressed and you suck my dick crying because you ain't in front of gersh
That's not my problem. You got to give it to me up front. That's even if you know, I'm just saying this is a joke people
No, no, no, but like what would the what would the manager say if you told me? I don't I know it's like mitzi says well
I don't know but mitzi you would probably suck his dick. No, I wouldn't even ask somebody like mitzi
I don't forget being at the live factory and I had 20 minutes in front of water brothers one night
Somebody came up to me paul radriguez and asked me to give him 10 of my minutes to john fox. I told him no
I was like, no
Where would you remember the day mitzi, you know made you a regular? Yeah on my birthday. When was that?
Uh 1997
Yeah, 1998 you've been out here for a few months
I was out here for a month
And that turned into
Third week. She made me a regular. That's how lucky I was so then you went back and got your shit mobilized
There was no getting no shit. No shit. I had a duffle bag in the dream
Hit in the notebook. That was it
No headshots
I still remember getting to the store and taking headshots that monday the piano player
Yeah, it was a piano player that liked my girlfriend. So he's like i'll do the headshots for free
That headshot you see me with sunglasses. That's it at the store. That was the headshot. Nice. That was my first fucking real headshot
I had taken headshots in
seattle, maybe
But I didn't think of him as headshots like I do somebody said take a picture
I want pictures
But uh, when you got here on that trip you were coming from colorado or the east
You were coming from seattle. Yes. Okay. So you were bouncing around you ended up getting to la
Why'd you move to la though?
Doug Stanhope told me that I had a chance
Oh, so you're doing comedy in seattle. I was doing comedy in seattle. Is that your first?
No, I started in Denver in Denver
What age were you when you started?
28
Yeah, I was about that. I was like 26 seven and that's considered long in the tooth 28
I don't know. I like when I got here people like he's too old
He's too old and I looked old. I was 32 34
35 that's an advantage
And the hardest manager at the time when I got here was messina baker
And he was hanging out at the comedy store one night and that same girl that offered to suck my dick for seven minutes
Who was talking to him one day? I'll never forget this
And he told her
He said to her from me being in the arms distance like an ear distance whatever that expression is
He said you're done in this town
after year 28
And I remember going home and getting coped up and listening to that conversation the next day
I went back there and I saw like, hey man
Can I talk to you about something? Yeah, that's for nothing
You got three of the hottest clients in the business and they're all a ton over 28. You got tim allen
You got drew carry. Yeah, and he had somebody else at the time. That was 40
I go, what the fuck are you talking about?
And he thought about it for a few minutes. He goes, you may be right. I go, I know I'm fucking right
Why would you make that statement? Yeah, and he was a cool guy like he was
Understanding but you're never done here. It's true. You're never done. You're looking fucking vicky barbara like that. I know
Look at vicky barbara. Well, it maybe
Maybe people have always been able to be character actors and come from comedy and become actors and being a bunch of stuff
but
but this whole
Standard thing changed when people start making comebacks
You know, there used to be people would make a mistake. They were gone
Kind of get buried and stuff. You couldn't have second third acts. I think all that's changed. It's always changed
Yeah
They've always look it's listen more than brand. No got a second chance. Yeah
When more than brand, though, got the godfather did not want him on the fucking them
Didn't want him on the fucking lot paramount
Webber did that whatever studio did that paramount was like, we don't want him in this fucking movie. He caused
A disaster on muting on the bounty cost everybody millions of dollars brando. Yeah, we don't want this guy in the lots, you know
After fucking iron man got caught with the fucking hula hoop
And the costume doing blow in some hotel room. What's his name? Robert Downey jr. Right?
Who was going to give that poor kid a chance? Yeah, but talent cream always rises to the top
Yeah, and people acknowledge a second mistake and the most important thing
Is when you do get that second chance
You got to jump on it. Yeah, you got it. You have to fucking go reborn throw punches to dig a's and b's, you know, it's not
That's the problem with this town sometimes
That people get a limelight thrown on them and they're not really mentally
Prepared they're not mentally prepared, you know, I I'll even admit to that myself because
You know the the things that between 2000 and like 2004 or six
You know
The internet exploded and everybody had their thing online, you know, and
When dame cook got a million my myspace people
Like changed this whole game for a lot of people and all the young comedians that came up started to see the
Thing, you know happening with the and so then, you know, we're taking a headshot trying to make a
tape, you know video a vhs tape to send to an agent
And and it's getting everything's changing and it's getting harder. You have you got to like shoot something and produce it
Know how to fucking engineer and get a computer and you know edit it
That was just like all of a sudden that was our the game. It wasn't just be funny
You know what I mean? It was like
Package that shit up and so it's the art of remember be funny always wins. That's what you're trying to do and you believe it
Be funny always wins. It's all distractions that you take
To be funny that throw you off
Being funny always wins putting the work in always wins knowing
That you put the work in
Really wins but before because you know before the world of email
How would you build a following on the road by being funny about being funny?
But what was the other part of that that was like that made this guy's mouse
That's it word of mouth
Aaron what's happening? How are you doing good? What's going on? I'm an LA city college
Taking fucking classes, but I got a part-time job at the whiskey and go-go
Bouncing no way my favorite band from boston is playing whiskey and go-go when they're fucking tremendous
Really, what's their name? Arrowsmith go watch them and that was it
When you bought when you produced an album and they came out there was no billboards
It was in magazines and you read about it in cream magazine and the radio
Might play a new hit, but a lot of shit wasn't am playable
You know my big ten inch you couldn't play it on the radio, you know, there was some sabbath didn't get an airplay
There was all these different groups, but I've always believed in word of mouth
Okay word of mouth is number one, but didn't guys like him and see he had flyers
He would take their names. He would have the mailing list and very
Organized that were ahead of the game. There were people men see it did something that I always thought
was pretty great
and this was
At the end of the show
He would his brother would come with him so he trusted his own flesh and blood
He would say if you enjoyed the show tonight
On the way out give my brother $20
And they'll mail you a copy of tonight's cd in the mail
And they would go back to the hotel room and print the show up all night
And they have boxes prepared with that date
And the next morning before they left town
He would print them up. Mm-hmm
There were people that left cards on tables and took emails and email blasted you let me ask you something
Even before email though, he was doing that right now
You got an email from somebody that you opened
Did I what?
I don't know but those fucking emails. I don't they get a click on them and they get deleted right off the bat
Most of my email sends me shit every morning. I wake up and just didn't that's why I never believed in emails
That's a little bit too personal. Yeah, I'm going into a little bit person. It was more mailing list
There was more mailing list like that. See we went up a flyers out. Yeah
You know when I did a showcase at the store you had to go make a hundred flyers and go to every casting office by hand and go
Hi, but even show ideas. I'm doing a showcase and they both smoke up your ass
Well, definitely and you call an rsvp line and the night of the show you'd have one call from like your aunt
You know, it was embarrassing, but these are the things that you had to do
To learn whether or not they failed. Look, I still remember josh wolf getting this one man's show
and getting a deal from fox
within a month
The lineups all over town were one man shows
Josh wolf and chains again
Included me everybody was doing a woman show
Because there was a new way to get your story out there
God were the days of oh adam you want a tv show?
Well, tell me in your act about you being the dad and taking your kid to softball practice
And describe your home life to me on stage. Right last night. I had a couple days ago
We had on the other day the shot here. We were about to talk about
What happens to people when they move here?
Some people take the material that they brought here and they stay true to themselves
And they do that material other materials your agent gets to you and says listen, you got to deal with cbs
This is the material you have to do
I know a gay comic that for years was in a cbs shop
And cbs in his contract he couldn't say that he was gay on stage
Oh, he couldn't even say it at any time crazy. Okay, so this is 20 years ago guys. It was a different fucking game
Yeah, so
Yeah, that 97 to 2000 is a little little bit of a change and then 97 to about 2005
Then the deal stopped
Yeah, and that made the game a little bit more even what was going on where a guy like lee
would be in morselon
He had a great 15 minutes
This happened here for about three years three or four years and it was a very frustrating time
For all the comics and for comics. I was very frustrated with it
But there was nothing I could do the only thing I could do about it was I had two options
Think about it
Or be funny. Yeah, exactly keep going to the store follow Paul moody getting married and being funny
So there was a thing here that if you were a good-looking male or a good-looking girl
28
And you had 13 minutes
So I would go to boston and the boston comedy club would put up their 13 open micers who they thought
And if I fell in love with lee's look, I would take lee and hide them make them sign a contract
To take you to montreal hype you up
Hype you up
I would even hire a publicist for you
For three months to hype you up a month before montreal
So by the time you got to montreal, they were all there to watch this amazing act lee sciat
And then it became a bidding war
Okay, it became a bidding war
So next thing you know lee sciat's got a check in the mail for 750 000
And he's got a commitment from fucking abc to do a tv show
Right, okay
That you sign the paperwork
You get the showrunner
You get the writers and you write it. You write the first draft
They give you notes. You write the second draft. They give you more notes. Boom. You write the third draft you submit it
Now after three months, you got to call your pilots getting shot
What are we talking about?
This is what the process was. Yeah still is down. No now. Do you know how much time?
That is by the time you get the deal
To the pilot being shot. Yeah
A couple of years maybe by the year yeah two months. Okay. Yeah, guess what?
Your deal is over after a year. All right. That was it
So now they've already got the new lee sciat
So now yeah, you got 750 000. You paid an agent. You paid a manager. You're a star. You're the new flavor of the book
But guess what I can't do that with you
Yeah, because you ain't got I can't headline you but they would spend but they would so now
You're a fucking clam. Yeah, you got me for 600 000. Yeah, but let's say it's a network, right? Whatever one you are saying
Let's say cbs
All of them were doing 14 almost 20 pilots a season
It's spending, you know, 20 30 million dollars a year hoping that one becomes that hundred million dollar a year
machine
You know becomes csi or becomes whatever so like that doesn't exist anymore where they're all doing
15 16 pilots every season work realized in 2004 that they were picking the wrong comics
All right comics did not have the chops
These 13 14 minute year
Minute comics 20 minute comics 25 minute comics
They realized it did not have the chops to go into a room
To deal with these people. They didn't know the system. They don't know the system
Number two, and then you have the biggest thing to overcome once you get the pilot now the kid can't act
He's never acted before in his life
You know, they didn't prep you me. I'm a manager
I signed an iron catered to a fucking one-year deal
ABC gets a call and says listen every network show puts out an iron catered
Every network show puts Aaron didn't fucking George Cooley started on roseanne. Yeah
No, um, he was on facts of life. Oh, he already before you are he was on roseanne like recurring
He was at the boyfriend or something like that. He was something you all got to start in a small place before he develops something around you
Well, yeah, you know you look back and you go. So what were my cloney years? Oh, yeah, that's right. They were a 2001 through three
uh comedy store
guest star on bernie mac
Speaking part on you know what I mean? Those are my cloney. It's crazy
And then you're at little shit that then once they realized they were picking the wrong comics
They stopped giving deals wrong together. Yeah, that's what I felt. Okay, and that was perfect because now nobody was getting lied
That was like 05 06 right now nobody was getting lied to anymore. So now you had a fucking early key
Which is tremendous now a poor kid would hang himself
But see what I was also looking at was how much
the world had changed that
in that era because
um
Networks wanted to stay away from politics because it was just too devised people were divided was the war was like at its peak
In like 0406 06 was really bad
That's when bush was like did the surge and then you know, he was kind of a lame duck after that
and and you know and then
obama
Wins right but i'm just saying that those last years of bush people were like
outraged
It was political
It was crazy
Like if we didn't have what we had today you would look back and go man
Those were some crazy political times. I remember doing comedy during the recount when bush won and beat gore
They're doing a recount in florida. Everybody had like recount jokes, you know about
You know poking the ballots and
But like people would be burnt out on all the news too. So it was uh
It was a weird time politically to figure out like
What's what's the difference between people who they they come here to hear our point of view versus people who come
And just want to get away from everything
and hear
You know evergreen jokes about you know fat jokes. Let's pretend
Let's pretend because this is what people forget
You know everybody walks around thinking that we live in turmeric. She was times right now that we're living in town
What do you think it was like when kennedy was president?
That he was fucking marillon Monroe and opposing this and opposing that we've never been happy guys
As a country we've never been happy with who the president is
Never has there been a four years where everybody's completely happy. So I leave that shit
Alone. Yeah, because nobody's ever happy. No, and now it's building like it's building and it's building a little bit more
It's building every year a little bit more. Nobody's ever happy
You know, we think that the glory days of what is and how was here and then
Yeah, and then Nixon came I still being a kid nixon resigning and i'm crying like a fag
That we lost our president. You know i'm saying I didn't fucking know I didn't know that there was a water gate
So the all that shit has always been terminal
We just don't know we think that we live in the worst of it
We have no idea people always you know, I still remember going to grammar school
Once a week you had a drill to go to the basement because we were going to get bombed by the russian
Right down stairs. It was old cans of corn and fucking bread that had mold on it
And you had a book of Mormon no windows and shit in a room, you know, they were called underground shelters
At every building when you walked in had to have a sign that said underground shelter that had tang
And had a fucking water and old fucking tanks. You know, this is what we don't remember
We've always been in a conflict. We just take this this conflict
Everything is a little bigger today because of the media and the internet, right?
We just don't have three people telling your story. We have two thousand people telling your story
And then we have two thousand people that sit there all day and pick up the scab all day
For americans to watch that and get sucked in. Yeah, somebody put something today
On a thing and they put
This has always killed me and I didn't learn this till I was 27
And i'm gonna drop it on you motherfuckers right now if you plan on doing anything with your life
If you really plan on doing anything with your life if you're serious
Really serious about doing anything with your life. I want you to think about something
So I didn't think about till I was 27. I grind him about I grind everybody about it. Okay football is great
I got no problem with you unless you paint your face like that idiot yesterday
at the fucking rams game
He sat there like the indian where they threw litter in the water in the 60s one of that picture of the indian
He sat there with a little tear. Yeah, you put on like a san diego charge your face
Why would you do something like that? Now you gotta go to the train with a bunch of people throwing shit at you
I would never come in
I just wear a shirt and you fucking go with your cheer for whoever you like, but they get dressed up like a pirate
You're gonna have ink in your face get a fucking life
Well, yeah
Today somebody put a picture up and i'm gonna say this whether people like it or not or what they think of me or what they
Don't think of me because this is what my reality was today somebody put a picture of
Of who do you think would win the fight and they put lisa at against burt
Whatever and I put down
Why we even think about that
About like how much how much free time no in a fight in a fight
Like how much free time do you have today?
That you have to think about that. That's why I love when people come up to me go
Who's gonna win the next you or seek like color beam?
Don't worry about feeding my family today
Yeah, that's why I'm seriously. Yeah, and that's the mentality I've had when I was when I was 27 years old a black guy in prison
I'll never forget you sometimes at night
after row call after like you you weren't allowed to go out of your
Barracks, but you were allowed to sit in front and smoke a cigarette
And if you had insomnia, you can go out there and sit and listen to the mosquitoes
As long as it wasn't 10 fucking black dudes jumping up and down listen to bobby brown don't be cruel
They didn't give a fuck or eight
White bikers if you went out there by yourself
And you couldn't sleep if a guard walked by he'd go you okay, and you're like, yeah, I just can't sleep
They didn't walk away. You know that you're not smoking and one guy a black guy sat next to me
I'll never forget he worked with me in the kitchen and he was a nice enough guy
And I asked him one of my stupid
typical white fucking questions
That only I would think of I remember somebody telling me from my face one time
You have a great sense
of holding
useless information
Like somebody told me to my face treasure trove of useless like yeah, like you're like
It's information that doesn't really matter trivial. Okay, you know, it really doesn't matter like we as young men
We think like it doesn't matter at the end of the week
It doesn't you're not impressing me with that bullshit
About this or that I'll never forget he said to me
I think if you put as much time into thinking this dumb shit as you did until getting your life together
You'd be like motherfucking bad motherfucking and I don't know like looking at him and getting ready to say fuck you
And I went to bed and I thought about what he said in my life chains
That moment a black convict that had eight years left on his sentence
Said that to me and the guy was like a model of a great
He was a great cook whatever the fuck he did in the kitchen. Yeah, and I told this kid that well because I put down
You have time to think about this
Really, this is what your day consists of that you have time to think of this about this fucking hand job
And then a bunch of people answered back and I said and I said eddie. I'm not putting you down
That was the mentality I had when I was a weak sack of shit
And it took somebody to tell that's why I don't mind fuck. I call those mind fucks
This town is filled with mind fucks. Yeah
If you accept them when we first got here it was cast net
You sign with an agent you got to be a part of casting that then three years later
You got to be a part of this then four years later
You got to be a part of this and eight years later you got to do all this and you know at the end of the week
You don't have to do nothing you got to adapt all you got to do
It's fucking get up and get on stage as many times as you can tonight
keep
That chit-a-chatter of those comics
The negative that I should be at the store. I watched Aaron Kayley and he sucks
Joey Dears couldn't follow Joe Rogan. Yeah, he sucks
I watched this guy's Netflix special and he sucked. Mm-hmm. Just
Focus I was telling those guys that my favorite part of life
Is going to the store an hour before my set the original not the main the original
Get the fucking stone
I mean even to the point of taking like a half a xanax town
And knowing that I'm up in an hour and I will sit back there and I will get sucked in
By those four comics and I will learn more
By watching those four comics and I hate when a comic comes up to me and ruins it
Don't even say hello
Just sit next to me and I'll look at you like that my eyes. Don't ask me if I'm next
Don't say fucking nothing because that's all you should be worried about
As americans, we have so many things to try to throw us off our game
When you come up to me, you know, can you believe this?
Capital investigation, I just laugh because they just got you. Yeah, they just got you
They just got you to do exactly what they wanted to do for you to take your mind off the ball
for 20 minutes
That's kind of what they want. But you know the first time two things one
The first mitzi gave me a spot
After I showcased uh, she threw me on some show that was on in the main room
So she put me on and and I think maybe on med and jay were producing the show and like to you know, 99
and um
And then it was a 15 minute spot or something like that
Anyway, I was like geez, you know, that's like, um
I thought you know, you know, she'd have me in the original room before that
But anyways, so she puts me on in the main room. Then she gives me a spot. How did you get how did you get passed?
What was the process for you? I was in the belly room in barn hearts
And then um, you know, I think I got in front of mitzi on a on a showcase night once
When I was doing comedy, maybe a few months
and then
couple months after that
um
She talked to maz was already regular
And she met a med producing a show in a show in the main room
He was like
Producing promoting a show out of the main room. I think with jay davis and she discovered he was arab
And then she was like, oh, is there any more and they're like, yeah, you know maz knew me
so then
You know maz recommended me. I get in front of her
Then she gives me a spot on like a thursday in the main room
And then she has me open the or on friday night at nine p.m.
on a friday night
um
And i'm like, okay amazing and I show up uh
Don't know how to open the original room
I don't know how to open the show in the original
I mean, I started comedy in october. It's december
You know
So I just go into my material too fast people are sitting down
They're still hadn't gotten a drink and nothing was you know
Because I was just kind of like throwing up didn't know how to
Bring it all together. So I got fucking
Just basically it was a bomb, but it wasn't even like they were listening
It was like I felt like it was just the worst experience in my life, you know
So I go back and sit the back of the room
You were on that lineup
uh
and uh
fuck
Holtzman I think went up late
but
Somewhere in there. I just watched comic after comic and tell paul mooney gone on
And paul mooney looked so clean that night. He was wearing white and a hat and everything and I was like
What did I do wrong? How come I couldn't get one laugh on all the jokes that I have that I've
you know
so uh
That was the night that I sat and watched
Every comedian and then she kept giving me spots and every night. I would just sit there and watch you guys
You know
It's quite an education and she made me work the door too. So yeah, yeah
I'd have a spot and I'd work the door
Learn learn up the original room
Listen, she
Her whole vision
Was for it to be a college for you
and
You know, it really is like I didn't realize it's after I shot
I'm dying up here and I watched on the plane and it was like wow
Now I remember what she stood for
And what I stood for
And it kind of straightened me back out about the store like it kind of
She had rules. She had these weird comedy rules
She had method to her
And there was a method to her madness that really was giving barnhardt the sunday being like sunday nights for as adam's night
She wouldn't really give him a spot here and there maybe in the or if he asked or something
But she was like you just are always going to have sunday nights for some reason. She thought that he was like
Southern baptist, you know revivalist, you know and sunday night the you know would be a good sunday's
You know church kind of thing
I think in her mind. She was like gave sunday to adam
You know, you watch rambo
And you go there's that part where the the cops are like, you know, whatever possessed god
To make a man like rambo and all of a sudden that guy walks and he goes god didn't make rambo
I made rambo that's
I feel like
She's the colonel that comes because now in hindsight
Now in hindsight, I see
What she was doing when I and when she got me I was doing calmly
Six years, but I'm paid before
Like I was doing calmly six years, but I'm paid before and I had no success
Like I had I wasn't having success around town
But I started going in there
And it was the same process, you know, you're just bonding
You're just going down to the bottom. You're just going down to the bottom. I didn't go david triple ones. You ever do triple
Yeah, you live on those. That's how you that's how that's a different
The best thing is to become a regular at the store and then do a triple. That's what I did
And you know, that's what I did. Wow. Kelly kirsten hooked me up with it. I had to do 30 minutes
I had a car who drove. I oh, I had a car. So I always end up driving and who would have mine is
Oh, fuck brad reader brad reader from like carolina or something
Hey, you ever been to a do you ever been to south carolina like blue blue ribbon uh fair and I'm like
Who the fuck asked a question like that?
Hey, you've ever been to the blue county fair in the fucking savannah like all those triple runs in peruno
Was the headliner guy's funny, but you know, come on. He's you know, and you know, god bless
Do these jokes get burned into your brain like you don't remember the person but like these jokes will haunt you for the rest of your life
Oh my god, there was one comic and I I'll never remember his name right now
but
He was a great guy and he was an older comic and he you probably know him
Remember him, but uh, fuck. I can't remember his name, but
Everybody else besides the one uh that I drove around with was like, you know, you just you know, you just try to be
I was just happy to be there
Watch what you are when you're a feature
I'm the middle of montana. You're in the middle of montana
And you're just happy to have a gig
And happy to have a hotel room. Yeah, and happy to pick up $50. You're like, I'm so happy about these three things
I could piss myself. Yeah, like you look out the window and there's your town
And you're 180 none. I just had like a tiny little bit of weed. You know, you don't know what it's like to wake up
Look at your map
Get on the road and look at the sign. It's like
282 miles
There was no gps. No, it was road signs
And you just got in your car and in those days you just stopped to pee
I stopped when the tank was empty
Yeah, that's it. That's it. That was my rule. Yeah, we drive in between tanks
You do that drive between denver salt lake. I did every
And then salt lake to tahoe
Oh that northern route. Oh
And then the snow you put chains on your fucking tires
Every trip will run some comic. It's a deer
Some comic is not going to make it because they hit a deer is triple still alive. Still alive. Where is he still?
Oregon, man, I gotta get in touch with him now
He's booked. No. No. God. No. God bless him because you know, he gave me a chance dog. He gave a lot of
So many people he helped me so much
He helps you while you're doing it. You're getting robbed. Yeah, and he's a dirty fucking thief and I love him for it
Because that's what you're supposed to do the people at that level of comedy. You're robbing. Yeah, you're robbing
I know comics will tie your league. You're going on the road this weekend
But you're sleeping on the floor next to the jazz in this room. Yeah, that's it
His his no payment you need feature act has to be getting 100 bucks a show minimum
Where the triple wins now, I mean because when I was doing it, it wasn't even 100 bucks
You know be like six in a row of like, you know 60 80 bucks
or whatever it was and then uh
Now to break even you had to be tight triple paid
85 dollars a set you picked up 50 and you got to check mail to you for 35
the guy in texas
Paid a buck 25 to feature
And the headliner 225. So I mean the budget was 400 he kept to right the budget was six
Plus they paid for a room for two people
then there was a company and
Oh
Montana the wonder of Nebraska
Oh cruel and they co-had lined me and they were paying 150 a set. Yeah
But nobody paid as good as creative
Creative entertainment was on the east coast
underneath
Charlotte and they booked from charlotte
into west virginia
All the way to the islands Barbados all those caracos the whole thing you just got to work
Spotless clean on the island
You say one word they squirt you off the stage a ship a helicopter comes get you
Clean out your room and you'll never do a creative run again
And they make it clear before you go understand. So they would have a Bermuda week
You go for two weeks 500 a week, but you can bring your family
So you go to the Bahamas Bahamas Bermuda, whatever you can do two weeks. That's how good
creative was creative pain
175 to feature
And 250 the headline with the same amount of driving in between the triple runs
But only in the south you're going deep
Deep into a barn
There's a fence up. Yeah, because they throw bottles at you just like the blues brothers. No like in front of you. Fuck. Yeah
Clark something Clark's tin something
Had a fence up to like there was two places that had fences on triple runs. There was a Clarkston. No
It uh creative had one
Like what West Virginia on top of a ping pong table that if you said the word fuck you got fine $50
So if you got 175 you said fuck once I said the word fuck, I just ran with it
Yeah, that's it because they're gonna charge me 50. Anyway, I'm gonna get 25
Unless we have 20 fucks off these 20 this $50 bill. Oh my god, and then there was a place in Craig, Colorado
That they had like a wall with just glasses
And they can look at it
They tell you if the place got active just to run to your room and lock the door and call the manager
Oh my god, but that's
Yeah, what people don't understand is people gone those and they come back and they decide right there. They're not gonna be comedians
That's it. You you that'll let you decide. Yeah, it shows you, you know
but that's this is a point that I've always made about female comics because um
What female in general is gonna be in the middle of Nebraska or a fucking Montana
Driving around with the headliner. They just met and they picked them up from Reno at the airport and been driving like
It just seems like it doesn't lend itself to anything the girls are like taught and raised
You know women will do it. They'll control the tour
Triple will take care of the women. Yeah, no, any as well. I know a lot of women that will
Just say a lot of girls, you know, what's great?
I've never heard a complaint on a triple never never never heard it. Triple takes care of his girls
The hotel takes care of the girls because I went on a tour with a girl one time
She was no miss america. I mean you had to have 20 fucking cocktails to even think eating her ass, but
We protected her, you know, there was there was nights where we went to clubs and yeah
They were a little scary, you know, you know that movie. Uh, what's the movie?
With the girl softball team madonna and roseo. They're all legal their own. What's the chick?
That's really ugly marla marla remember when they first see it
No, remember when they remember that dude?
What's the dude that had the comedy club up at the fucking?
Up at the fucking universal center. What's it? Love it john love it plays the scout in that movie
And there's a scene where he goes in to see a girl and the father brings her over. She's the ugliest thing in the world
Even john love it
Oh my god, no show or face and all this shit
That was this headline or I worked with uh, but bro, there were guys still hitting her. Yeah in towns like weird weird looking guys
I mean, I'm not putting this woman down or anything. She was a sweet lady
But I went on
Yeah, yeah
There was one particular woman who died
Who took me on a two-week tour and she was a voluptuous woman and I watched her I never thought of banging that
You know, I knew it was I knew from day one
That it's tough enough to do comedy. Yeah never mind you trying to bang a hell of a lot right
All right, so I worked with this one lady who was a heavy sent lady from denver. She passed recently. I forget her name. I'm sorry
I worked with a woman out of portland. That's the woman. I'm telling you I was marlin maples with like the one eye
But that's what made her funny
Yeah, and then I worked I took a girl on the road as a feature and I watched over
You know because and I would tell her yeah when I go upstairs
You gotta do me a favor you gotta go up because I'm not leaving you downstairs
In my room thinking about your own thing. I don't like going on the road when people make me nervous
Nervous. Yeah, like people. Well, I'm gonna go out with these guys. Come here for a second
Look at the shape of these guys. Yeah, you gotta get in the car with them. Yeah, I'm not going through that
You get in the car with them. Just take your fucking shift from the whole town. Go
You know, I'm old school you can't get into it and I wouldn't but one night
In one of those towns up north
I got into a car with these dudes
And also the promoter pulled up next to me and he was joy. Let me talk to you for a second
Angels get out of the car with those dudes. I'm gonna rob you
They weren't gonna sell you drugs. I thought they were gonna sell me drugs
Yeah, I mean because that's kind of the
I actually got into an argument with what I'm open micro who I'm friendly with but
Like you guys ever look back at those gigs being 12 hours away from la where 18 hours away
Like you say women might not feel safe. I don't
I don't think I could win a fight like it like it's yeah
No, it's dangerous for anybody to be somewhere
So like do you guys ever look looking back like should I should have been there? No, I
I never thought of that, but I think that
In the country's safer than you know, you think I mean, it's oh, yeah people everywhere nice
I fucking ran into George McGovern and fucking Missoula
You know in Montana. He's like out there with his family. How big triple weeks did you do?
I did it like three different like kind of
Sections he likes a run the Missoula run. Yeah six eight days. There was like a there was like a six week thing
It seemed like yes, there's a six week. He could he'll put you out there for six seven weeks in a row
And so you get really good. Yeah, you get really good
It's an ugly seven weeks. Yeah
What you're in the road of it. You just do it. I did a broke
I did them with zero month no bank account. So who drove?
I drove you had a car had a car drove. I drove you kept it on the budget that he was paying
I
Refused to get the car with people snacks like I didn't smoke cigarettes then so you were not gonna get my car if you smoke cigarettes
You know the music that's on
That's what's there. You didn't want anybody no no. So for the first six months
I did my own you show up. Yeah the headliner did his own thing
Yeah, the guy called me and he wanted the headliner get picked up. I put a snare on the a yeah
I don't like people to call with me. I wouldn't do my own thing to my own ring now
After a year of doing that I started going out with people who I knew
Who I could go up to and go do you mind taking 25 dollars less and us co-headlining?
Yeah, at least we're together and we can split and at least we're happy right right. We got a wall
We smoke joints. We can write jokes together. Yeah, we can split restaurant
We can double it up and uh, you know park arrest. Yeah, saturday sunday monday instead of you getting a hotel room by yourself for 80
We split 40, you know, that's that's when they're fun when you make your friends with you when you get to that point
I never really I never
Got to headlining a triple run. I co-headline. Oh, yeah, heaviest. I ever did
I think I headlined a couple like nights when somebody hits a deer
Or somebody doesn't make it like he'll call you in the room. We go you gotta stretch
You know, so he just decides who he thinks is a headliner. I mean there's no you send them tapes
Listen when you when you first start comedy
That's the first name they tell you and in nine different states on this side of the country
Honestly right now. I wonder if he'd let me headline. Yeah
My child a couple of spots. It's not gonna be a lot of money
You know, you gotta imagine
No, but I got there for an hour from us some natives from Idaho. You never know
Like right now. There's the only way I would do a triple one. The good thing is I could take a flight
to the beginning of it
So let's say the first night would be uh sailing in Oregon. Okay
I would fly into
Portland
And rent the car. Yeah, and then drive to bend
Drive to the other one drive to the other one drive to the fourth one
Yeah, and then that night getting the car and fly out of bend out of uh, you can't fly out of bend
You got to fly out of portland to go back to that one the next day
You're not gonna
What people don't realize is like this guy like lee
Like if triple cause lee
Lee has to do the drive from here to bend
That's on your back. How much money could triple actually make on a night? Like how much is well, you got to remember that
He goes into he doesn't go quantity, right? He's not gonna go into a bar in LA
Okay, so he's gonna go into a bar
That's fucking 2,000 miles away from civilization people are coming through and there's these little spots
He gets them all but he has to he has to get a lot of you remember when you did them
There was six hour drive interval. Yeah in between them
You're out there. There's places where there's no there's no lights. There's no street signs. I mean, you're fucking out there
If you break down, then they'll tell you make sure you gas up at this location
Because you're not going to see a gas station for it out. Yep. You don't want to put your car
Yeah, no fuck with that chance to gas up like you learn all these things like there's a route
We used to take from LA to houston. We could do that in 22 hours. Yeah, I was doing that with Ralphie Mae Ricky
We were doing it in 22 hours, but you better gas up in El Paso, bitch
Did you ever put a gas tank in the car like an extra emergency? No unless you're doing jewish lightning
There's no fucking unless you're gonna burn somebody's house down and you put an extra gas
I don't like gasoline and gas. I know right anything can happen. Oh, but that run from El Paso
To houston. It's like a six hour run where you don't see civilization
Yeah
And you got in the music don't come in the radio stations don't come in
You're like
And also know you here is like
Praise jesus. Yeah, the lord saves you stop my presbyterian church of
Bumfuck and you're like wow
I thought I wanted to do comedy. These are all the these are all the things that
When you come home on the trip around on the sunday, you're like what just happened. Yeah, I just spent eight gas tanks
I filled up my car 12 times
I drove 50 fucking thousand miles and for what?
for fucking four times 85 dollars
Yeah
And then did but you did you feel like you advanced in your comedy like, you know
Did you find you had to start talking about other things or some things?
I mean, what was it? What was it that you figured out because at that point I was just happy
That I would try any joke I could think of not knowing my voice
I would just write anything and wouldn't be connected. No, I didn't have a voice. No, you know
Yes, I didn't have a voice either
I had no voice at that time. I was doing comedy. Maybe
Three four years and I was just throwing out things out there and then
Depending on the rooms because a lot of rooms were warm
Yes, see I'm Mormon. Are you I have the more my mom's side is
Background was Mormon. So that was the thing is I was always talking about that and I was feeling like because I would grew up in
Utah when I was a kid, you know, we left when I was, you know, nine and uh
And so the Mormon shit would they would nobody ever done Mormon jokes
Who the fuck does makes fun of more like nobody even gets it in LA if you talk about Mormons
It's so funny, man. Nobody knows anything about Mormons, but when I got out there, I felt like
Things were working for once you get to Utah. There's places in northern California
That they'll tell you on the itinerary
It's going to be a heavy-duty Mormon. Yeah consistency. I got banned from Logan, Utah because it's kind of like
conservative college town
and uh, it was a bad bad show and
Some it turned into like an open mic and somebody else
Told a joke and then I put the mic in I started fucking around with them and we were cussing and
The guy didn't like it. No, they'll take they'll turn the fucking mic off on you. Yeah
They'll turn into like street jokes and shit and then he was like
So uh, and I didn't care because if you lose that job who cares
But so it's that you know what it is is the thing about being able to fail
And back to the second chances, you know how conversations started about
First chance second chance third chance
Like you you can't do comedy unless you've failed real good, you know, unless you really kind of started out like
You know on the triple thing like I didn't have 30 minutes when I had to do 30 minutes
No, you know, so you never have 30 minutes. So 30 minutes. Yeah, so
You're not gonna say the same thing with lifting weights
Yeah, if I say that you're gonna put 225 on the pound, you're gonna go don't do it because I can't do it
What if I don't tell you it's 225 I tell you it's 185 and you lift it
You're gonna go Jesus Christ. I lifted 225. Well, here's the other thing if you fail
You failed pushing it, right? This is this is a good place to fail where you're doing something. So
You're going to fail and if you don't fail then you're not really learning, right?
So this whole thing this whole cycle that you have to go through when you're like trying to crack the code
You know, because I wasn't killing a crowd. I'd have a one funny joke. It wouldn't be over. So like
The fail the the the surviving to the next day be like, okay last night sucked tonight was better
That was bad. And then you start to feel that cycle of like
How how do you keep it on the on the higher side? How do you keep cutting out the fat?
How do you keep cracking the coat? Okay, so you started in what year?
99. Oh, so you were at the store 99. Yeah, and then in 2003 you started the axis of evil
Yeah, well, you're doing comedy four years at this point
Yeah, well, no, yeah, it was like october of 99
No, I got picked up as a as a regular
December of 99 so 2000 right to december 2000
But I was doing comedy that you know, eight nine months
Leading up to that right and you were still adornment. I wasn't a doorman yet until like until 2000 until december 99
You know and then I got picked up
And then from there and on and I got and I got grouped in with Ahmed maws
She I think tried to have Sebastian and Ernst
And Tripoli
She thought everybody all of us were Mediterranean
Like Middle Eastern
That's how crazy she was and she didn't give a fuck and she didn't give a fuck and she took control of
Ahmed and j davis's show and she says you it's going to be
All these people and all these you know and like Sebastian and maws were already regulars
And then she picked up bret and Tripoli. I think
It was regular then and uh, you know, because we're kind of that night. She made Tripoli a regular. Oh for real
Yeah, I was in the original room. Yeah
um and uh
Anyway, so then there was this whole thing with her trying to put Middle Eastern Mediterranean things together
This is in 99. She loved ethnic things
Well, she said that that was the ethnicity that hadn't been explored. Right. She loved all that shit
Yeah, she was gonna make the main room
Like she tried to get me to do the Cuban thing and dress up like
Del Castro
With a cigar right and then she got Corey Cuomo to actually make the call and get a Cuban restaurant to cater it
So they did it one time, but I got out of it. I was out of town
Oh, shit
So because I didn't want to do something with her and fail and then not get spots in the original room
I saw that when you got involved with her
In a money venture and it failed you were out of sight out of mind. She's Jewish just like me
We failed. I don't need your around you the kids are dead
We had a room for a while. You fucking blew it now. I'm not giving you spots
So whenever she was suggested to do a certain theme room with me
I would always punish. I would tell her yes that night and give her a kiss and thank her for the spot
But then I knew she'd forget by the next time I see it. Yeah, so I would avoid her for a few days
I would really avoid her until and then she mentioned it twice. I knew she had a problem
But she never really she bothered me about the Fidel
A few times she wanted you to do Fidel Castro where a fucking the whole fatigue is in the hat
She was into trying to get people to do weird like and I think she was fucking with them
I wonder she told Kelly Kirsten she should wear a short pink wig
Yeah, I think that she was going to see
What your reaction was if you bow down to her then she'd tell you to go fuck yourself
Yeah, so that's what I always took from her
Maybe knowing her when she told you to do something you didn't do it except
for one person that is the
The funniest fucking thing ever
When I got to the store there were a few people who were big shots in their head
But there was this one guy that hung out with a big shot
And when she made him a regular she made him a regular one condition that he played a guitar
So he lied to her he went up then the guitar
When she was around he played a guitar and when she wasn't he wouldn't bring the guitar on stage and having an awful bombing
Oh
Without the guitar without the guitar you kept bombing
So one night on a monday night she walked in and I remember sitting in that area
When she walked in while the towel was on stage
And the towel was up there killing this is this has to be
99 a towel is fucking rip. I wish I could see you on a monday
And who has to go up next but this moron
But in those days Mitzi didn't come in on mondays
Uh-huh
She just happened to come in as a towel was there it was in the back giggling
A towel was doing a bit about playing whatever went down and he had a kilo on the plane and
We were dying and then this kid went up there and tried to do his okie doke act
And when she he walked off he didn't see her
She pulled him aside. She goes the next time you come here
You better bring the guitar with you
So I hear this
And I go downstairs and I don't say nothing and about a half hour later mitzi leaves
And he's in the back talking big shit. I mean he's talking
big shit
That he's never gonna fucking bring the guitar again. He's all mad. Fuck mitzi. She doesn't know what she's talking about
She's a fucking idiot
And I'm back then I wanted to smack this motherfucker. Yeah, you know, but he was running with like a pretty deep crowd
I just said let me mind my business
Shut my fucking mouth. Yeah, because at that time I was already at that time
It takes people years to shut that fucking mouth
Like it really does it takes people years to shut that mouth
Especially when somebody tells you something that is good for you
And you still go against it because of your stupid selfishness
It takes years it took me a year and a half to learn mitzi system
And I applied to it
Do you follow me? And then I'd see people that were smarter than mitzi
And they got
Like mitzi just had this system and when she told you something she meant it
Like the day she pulled me aside and she goes, you know, I love you
But don't take your dick out no more. I didn't take my dick out no more
I think I took it out once after that
And then she said something to me, you know what I'm saying?
But mitzi didn't fuck around mitzi. Everyone's rule though mitzi was like the people I grew up with
Yeah, mitzi was from Milwaukee. She was raised in Miami
So she understood when somebody pulls you aside. She was from Milwaukee
When somebody pulls you aside and they go to you, this is what you're doing from that one
And you don't do it. She would either stop talking to you. Yeah, or just not give you spots, right?
Which is what now how I learned I remember brown holds when we used to talk about that too
It's like just don't fucking say shit. Just don't say shit. Do your fucking shit. Don't say a fucking word
Nobody asked you. Yeah for your fucking opinion. I never got the opinion. I never fucking opinion
I never once asked her or said anything. I was a grown man. She would tell me shit
I've never had a conversation. You're right. Yeah, I remember her telling me little things at the end of my sense
As I was walking out and she touched me. Yeah the way she would touch me. She was letting me know
By her telling me that she can't like I'm out here to put you down
I'm just telling you that you'd be a lot better comic if you did this
A lot of comics would walk out to the fucking thing have a drink and go off
Go off about what mitzi said or somebody else told you thank god
No, I know when somebody's give me the right information when mitzi was in the room
I always wanted to do do my my best. I was always like I always want to do I always want to do so good
you know
added pressure
But I was always able to let it go and be like yeah, you know
She's been in the room where I'm performing a lot after a while. She wanted to see you bounce to see if
She wanted you to go out of your character
She made me come up to her the house once she wanted to rewrite my act
Or she wanted to help me write my act this is after 9 11
and uh
because we're all doing arab stuff for like
Since this since january of 2000
We were doing like she was trying to put this middle eastern thing together
And so what is that january february march april may june july august
You know nine months
And then that shit happens. So then she we were all you know
Trying to figure how to react to it the best reactions. I remember stanhope
I remember eddie griffin
I remember like the first people who got you know when the store opened that
thursday or
Whatever it was closed, right? It was closed tuesday and then we opened it wednesday night
They closed it at that tuesday and then we opened it wednesday. So I think I was there on uh
You know thursday I was there the whole weekend. I was working the door and
You know how to spot and then
um, but uh
She put me on saturday night in the belly room and then that week
She's like come to the house. I want to you know, we'll write we'll go through your act and stuff
Which means she wanted to suck your dick
I think so. Yeah, probably
Yeah, maybe I rest in peace no disrespect. No, I should I should have tried but we cuddled a little
You know like you know, we we got we got physical. We we touched, you know, I made her I try to soothe her
I rub her her back a little bit or whatever she wanted and then uh, how old was she at this point?
60s late 70s really? Yeah. No no no late 60s mid 60s. We're talking early 2000s
Yeah, when I first met her she still looked good. She was still cute
She's still petite and cute. Yeah, she's cute. You could tell that. Yeah, she was a mom
You know, I can't lie to you. I was missing the love of a mom
All right
So when she would pull me aside and touch me and tell me certain things
I got so mad like the first two like the fiddle shit and something else she wanted me to do something about
I don't even know
I I didn't agree with but there were other things she would tell me like pause here
Like she told me once I'm not waiting for the laughter
You control your laughter wait for like she would say little things to me. Yeah, but getting back to that story
Me by that point after 18 months if mitzi told told me something
It was gold
See what I'm saying? Well, if mitzi told me not to eat there, I wouldn't eat that
Like mitzi was fucking gold
I would there was also though times where you were like
mitzi's the baseline
So whatever she says
Is that's that's that's what the book says to do. That's that's what the bible would that's how the rule book would tell you to do
All right, she had a plan that you had no fucking idea
She was hatching in her brain, but that's not to say that the book is always right. So one time
There was this fucking gig that I didn't really want to do
It was kind of far away. I don't even remember what it was
It was just kind of this thing kind of got me on the hook to maybe do
But I didn't really want to do it because mitzi's giving me really good spots every night
And I'm like, I don't need to go to some one-off thing that it's kind of shady. What landcaster
Yeah, it was only for a couple hundred dollars or some shit
And I and I asked mitzi I said mitzi should I do this gig and she's like no don't do any gigs
Don't go on the road. Just stay here and work out at the store
I was like, all right, and I did you know, I I didn't do the to the gig
you know, but
That resonated too because later on I was like she doesn't care what that fucking thing would have paid
You know, if I told her I said no, no, it's like 10 15 thousand dollars. She I she'd probably agree with me and we'd have
Yeah, but don't do that. You don't give them the material that they want
Yeah, but she thought the best thing to do is to stay in town and work and write in the store and at home
When she made me she made me on a sunday and I bent over to her
And I had tears in my eyes and I told her I was honored and she's like to save it
She goes just make sure you go on for spots this week. I like I can't go in for spots
I have a week of the bruce the tea feathers that she just looked at me
And the look was
Take that week and you're not gonna get a spot ever again
And I woke up monday morning without hesitation
At nine o'clock called rooster tea feathers or whatever the club was tommy teas
It was tommy teas rather. It was it. It was like a 13 hour drive. It was getting 300 bucks
And I'll never forget I go she goes i'm passing you call scott day for spots tomorrow. Oh, you're so handsome
I don't like it
Mid-single mid-single. Oh, I can't call them for spots
I got tommy teas like I was trying to be braggadocio
In a way like I didn't say I was I'm saying going on. Yeah, I was trying to be braggadocio like oh, I got tommy teas
And she just looked at me and that looks said
There you go. It looks like you're canceling because you're gonna be doing spots here. All right. She didn't even have to say it
Yeah, she didn't even have to say it. Yeah, I went outside got my car
went home
The next one they fucking woke up
Called that club and they they yelled at me. How can you cancel? It's wednesday. Yeah, you give them see in two fucking minutes
Get a fucking scab or a fucking thing. So what's this movie? You got that up in mary?
um
Fuck man
Talked now. I was just gonna say that that that that group that you came in there with because I remember like
Watching bobby lee and sanchez around mitzi johnny sanchez
Because she used to loves sanchez like cracked her up to like the bone
Like he did something to her that she just always thought he was this guy who was always like
Complaining and yelling at her and shit and he would play into it
And then she would look at bobby and go like are you looking at me and he'd say yeah, and she'd be like
Really like
How do you see out of those things?
She says to bobby
anyway
Man somebody man, I still remember I still remember the axis of evil to it
Okay, so
So we were doing these middle eastern shows and then uh, yeah that happened in uh
04
I met and I went to the edinburgh festival
And when that's the first time we called it acts of evil because it was called arabian knights
You know and uh, then we changed it to the acts of you and then two years later. We got a deal and we shot it
for um
all you know comedy central
Uh, what's his name over at uh
Levitt levittan
No, no levity levity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I forget like there's a bit of that
It was them, you know and uh and then
So anyway, and then we tore it and then we went to the middle east and then the middle east
Oh, oh, shit. That was great
And then uh, and then I got married and then I had a baby and now i'm like she's three years old
and my uh
Being out every night doing comedy is if you know, it's different
Yeah, so
Um, are you still touring on? Yeah, I'm still doing dates. I'm still doing gigs. I was just in dallas
This big fucking labor day thing that was amazing was 10 000 Arabs. It's outdoor concert huge stage
Bunch of music. It's not like fucking hummus and dead shoes
Flies everywhere. Yeah, exactly
Yeah, I was a lot of scarves and you know
No
Long you see people in america. You gotta have a good time with this. She's gotta have a good time
You know, I still remember you and arie going head to head
Yeah for years about palestine. He just wouldn't juville went fucking. He wouldn't even have a baby
Motherfuckers used to crack me up out there
At every opportunity he would find a way to to be insulting or call us all animals or something
You know, and he's like, you know, you don't treat animals the same way as you keep treat humans
So you got to adjust your debate and you know at at a
He would never not do that to the point where you're like
He probably believes it at this point because he's that's all he can ever do. He can't have the conversation without
That so I don't even know where you love him over those years leaves tormenting you know, arie and I were always close
Oh my god, you guys loved each other. Yeah, it was you a lot to see it
He was always and he would buy this nail and make like a remark at you like
Keep him away from me. Well, yeah, I'm stupid. I would go. What the fuck you guys are just talking five minutes ago
No, I wanted to already be my my counterpart because like how often you're gonna get a fucking palestinian in here
You chew, you know what I mean? How how when are you gonna talk about this?
Like you have a palestinian you could just I have family over there. You know, I just I was just there
I just did gigs in remula this talk about getting into a car. You shouldn't get in on a weird gig
You know, I'm 77,000 miles away. This guy's like, no, come on. Let me smoke
He's getting this man, you know, the other two comics are like who is it? He's there like dude. He's like a um, he's palestinian
Authority, uh, he's a captain in the authority in the you know, the military there
Okay, we get in the car with smoking smoke. We he's blasting music
He's like you guys want to drift he starts
Drifts around one of those fucking circles acting crazy doing donuts, you know high fives. Good night. See you next, you know
Next year in remula
You know what I mean? Sometimes you get in the car and it's great
All I'm saying is you know
We had a good time. Yeah, we had a good time. We had a good time. You still get spotted at the store
No, not much since missy's died
Really? Yeah
Yeah, I was a boy. Yeah. Yeah. She used to like you. Yeah. I I don't feel like I was very high on the pecking order that night at the uh
Funeral, you know, they were getting a lot of people together to talk or get on, you know
Get up in the or whatever. I'm like
You know, nobody was really asking me to come and get on stage and tell them my story. Did you go down there?
Yeah, I was hanging around for a while. I couldn't talk to so many people outside
but like
You know when they somebody comes in the hallway or the and they're like looking for comics
And I'm like, I'm right here. You know what I mean?
I'm like, I don't know. I was just I've just been quiet. I've been quiet lately
That's okay. You're paying your dues. You have nothing. I mean, I still I talked to adam
I still you know, it's fine. Everything's good. He'll he'll let me back in there
But it's so funny how I know
100 people listening that see
and 400 who didn't
And all those 400 people are fucking gone. Yeah, like they're probably somewhere else
I'll never forget. She told this lesbian girl something one day
And this girl was fucking outside cursing at her and shit like
People used to take stuff too personally when they were comic. Yeah, but this guy I'm talking about so
She tells him not to come back without the guitar. Oh, yeah
I go inside and I call do a couple of blasted coke
I'm outside and I'm watching this guy holding court
Telling people admits, you don't know dick about dick
That he's not gonna fucking he refuses to
Kick coward down there. You know, and I'm sitting there and looking at him going bro. She's trying to teach you something
I don't know what it is. Even at that point in my coked out
99 crazy open mic mind because I was still an open miker and they're like, I was like this dumb motherfucker
Is questioning fucking jesus. Yeah, you're questioning like the hell's angel of hell's angel
Yeah, and he disappeared for like three months. He went to other places and tried to come and then
That bar because the union died
And the bar next to it where dane cook became a star
Dublin opened when double first opened it wasn't j. Davey still all right. It was uh, I meant I'm mad and then I think he gave it
Jane davis
Yeah, it was like two or three of them. Yeah
One of the first times they did it. We went over there
And that kid was there and I had a couple lines of coke and me a couple cocktails
And I didn't like the kid in particular
But what made me not like him more was how he talked against mitzi
Yeah, like how he was talking shit against mitzi because it pissed me off
You're at the fucking combi store and the fearless leader is telling giving you advice and you're fucking with her
What what yeah, how so I went up to him and I go how's life?
He goes, you know me
Life is great, but I don't know if I'm ready to come back to the combi store
It's time. I go you're bringing the guitar back. Oh, yeah, he goes. Yeah, it's time to bring that to guitar
I looked him straight in the face. I go
If I was you you're so fucking bad. You might as well bring a whole one piece fucking band
You better bring symbols with you in a flute
And I had this guy when like I like that's how
Disrespectful I felt the mitzi sure. Yeah, won't you ever fucking go out in the parking lot?
You gave him a smack. Oh, I fucking just went off on him there. They held him back
You know, they held me back. I would have fucking killed this kid in 99. I was out of my fucking mind
And then about three maybe maybe six months later. I saw him at the store and he had the guitar
And I made my fucking thing and he had a couple cocktails
And his buddy had a cocktail
And I had a Heineken bottle in my hand and I was standing by the men's bathroom
And they were standing maybe seven eight feet away
And as I was coming out of the bathroom, he said to me
Did you just go in the bathroom to do a line of coke?
See you can be funny
And I go the funny thing is I don't need the coke to be fun. I do coke after I get off stage
You you're here with your fucking guitar. You fucking not head
And he's like fuck you let's go at it and before he stepped
I unleashed that bottle Heineken out of and it hit the wall behind him
And him and the other guy just ran away
And I never heard nothing about the next day. I'm driving to the store and I'm looking for the coach of the horses
And the comic he was with was there and the guy made eye contact with me. He goes, hey
Well, let me talk to you. Yeah, he goes that thing last night and didn't do with me. Fuck him
Yeah, he's not gonna get me in trouble again. That's like the tenth fight he's gotten into
Kid was a nightmare. Oh my god. There was a lot of guys that would go to the store just to complain in those days
They thought they had some power and they irritated me to know it. Yeah, because I complained once
I got put in my place
And I never fucking complained again. I never fucking heavy complainer
I've never complained. I was afraid to ask her for like
Hey, um mitzi I have a you know a family dinner
And I I got to go to dinner. I might not be able to go up until later. Uh, maybe
Yeah, you know like I I'm available, but I somebody no she didn't she refused that
It was like she refused that if she gave you had a calling for every night
You said I I have to go bring your dad there. Bring everybody to the store. Yeah, she didn't give a fuck
She told me that once in her office one time that she goes these fucking comics
They don't want to be comics, right? But then they make plans to be dinner
Comics don't gotta fucking it's true. You don't she used to unleash it in front of me that I would look at and go
You're right. You don't do dinner and I'll never forget I did a showcase
And I made dinner plans and I went to that garlic restaurant
Oh, Christ, and I walked out of this smell like 22 thought like this fucking guy when he's got flies chasing
And let me tell you something I showcased and the people came up to me and shook my hand
I didn't call me the next day. She didn't surely didn't because I smelled like a fucking my compass bag
That was dead for four fucking days. She always said it. Don't go out to dinner before you do comedy
I want your mind on comedy. That's why she didn't serve food at the company store. Yeah, she didn't like that
Because she didn't like people eating if you I agree rules are like it has to be
She was rules a dark room with kind of a low ceiling girls have to be serving drinks and it has to be after dark outside
You know those are their rules. Yeah, she had rules, right? And you know, it's funny how
The other day somebody sent me a link or some jerk off
That was putting me and Ari down and me and a bunch of other people and then they went into this whole comedy store thing
About how the comedy store isn't really the comedy store anymore. I'm sitting there going. Yes. So whatever I mean
What the fuck are you talking about? You would survive three minutes
Just a shock. I know I know for a fact I I could see somebody and I know now from
Where I was when I walked into the comedy store and who I thought I was in my head
The first six months were not a pretty fucking situation. No at all. It's a mess. It's a mess
You're just trying anything. You're a mess. You're a mess as a human being
You're just trying to survive and you don't know if that's your last spot in there
Right, you don't know. She just saw you. That's your last spot in there. That's a fun. That's ptsd
That's why I was doing all that fucking blow and whatever the fuck I could do in those days
Yeah, this is so many different scenarios that are going on
You have to block out so many things you have to just not think about but but yeah, man
I always was comfortable with missing the room. I used to like it
But there was a time in um, uh when she was
Man, you know
Tommy had mitzi in right and she had a lot of dementia
But by that time it was no good. She didn't recognize. What's Tommy got there. Listen. What's Tommy got there?
It was the beginning of the year. Tommy was the kiss of death. Tommy
The final death of fucking death of mitzi. I don't give a fuck what everybody tells you
Look at the store during those years. He was there. It was too much controversy and it was different type of controversy
It wasn't friendly controversy. It wasn't you and me having a beef over a joke or something
You said it was a little bit deeper. You had comics running a ship controlling lineups
It was a deeper darker time and he was lying to mitzi the whole time
mitzi didn't know whether it was monday or tuesday
So he was the only conduit to mitzi telling arin what mitzi said even though mitzi didn't know what planet she was on
So that's when I bowed out. I go something is not here the one day I walked in there
And she looked at me weird. It was like 2007
and it was
I think I did
Yes, I still was doing blow after I left the store
But I wanted there to pick up a check and I saw her on the way down
and I saw something
I saw something that
It was weird and I remember walking out that door and I said to myself
I'm not coming back to this place
And I remember calling rogan. I remember when you said it rogan
I'm advising you don't go back to this place. Yeah, and rogan was hot. He was on fear factor
He told me to give a fuck what I had to say that he was going to go down there
And maybe a month or two after that he got thrown out
and mitzi called
Rogan and told him he was okay. I don't know what the exact story is
It was fuck though who went against rogan
Because he wanted the other fucking dickhead to be the star of the store. So he chose mincea
So he chose mincea and the other fucking moron. So that's what happened at that time period
By that time period. I knew I was done. I remember you told me once on the back steps
You were like no, man. I'm down around here, you know, you you young guys, you know, blah, blah, and you were like
It wasn't too long after that. Were you really yet?
If you're in michigan, you have to stick to your fucking nails in life and in comedy
You know, all those years were my addiction years, but I still had it sharp
I was still booking movies. I was still getting up in the morning. Get that spider-man money
You got all your spider-man money. Oh fuck. Yeah
That was great. That shit comes in the mail. That was the best. Yeah, I remember that was 14 days on the set
Yeah
For one and then you did all those lifetime or no hallmark and I did three different weeks
So it counts as a half a point each week. Yeah, so I got a point ahead. It was a good one
That's every three months. Yeah, that was that's because I had to wait a different option. No, you wait 90 days
Yeah, 90 days you get that first check in the mail. Maybe six months
Yeah, see when you look on your little sag and see residuals and you look at the date when it gets mailed down
Yeah, and you call your co-dealer and tell listen
I'm coming over Wednesday with a big fucking envelope. You understand me cox nugget. No, man. That's for real
No, those were I had it. I was still a stand-up. Yeah, but I remember that whole situation there with uh
Yeah, everybody knew that tom. He was probably not telling us what he was telling her
No, no, no, who knows and he was so fake to your to my face. He was fake everybody that it was that's what that's what got me
He he came out one night with the other scumbag. Thanks for coming tonight
He came one night with another fucking scumbag and they threatened me
Doesn't even matter to see him the fucking salute of death. Yeah
He threatened me they threatened me in a weird way me. I was so fucked up on drugs
And so out of it at that point
That I didn't look at it as a threat till I got home
And I almost when it got up there in the morning went up there went to smack me then I thought about something
I thought about what your longevity is at any comedy club
If lee was to walk into lap boston today
Even if he was an exceptional comedian
Exceptional from day one
After six years, they would tell lee you have to shoot a shoot on the pot
What does that mean you gotta go out down the lane get some credits or I can only headline you one week
Yeah, yeah, that's it
You gotta make a move
So I had been at the comedy store
It was 97 98 99 and that was 2005 maybe
It was time for me to go. Yeah, I had overstayed my welcome. It was my fault. I didn't do anything with those seven years
That's what I feel like. Yes. You know, I mean I did something with those seven years
But at the time I was like I didn't use those seven years to my advantage
Little I know you should have grown up to be a great comic. All right. I knew how to fucking improvise
I was you know, you say something really important
You know that you learn how to do comedy with mitzi in the room
Can I ask you a personal question here? Is there anything scarier than that at the time?
No, it's the most nervous thing ever because
But I the fact that I could get on stage block it out and go
I know my my act
I you know, I was doing some triple things, you know, whatever or where I you have to
30 now I'm only doing 15
And I just stuck to my guns and then I was like the fact that I was able to block it out with her
and just focus
And still be with the crowd was an achievement
And and when you block it out, you're basically saying like
Man, she's seen everything. Don't worry about that. You know, it was like trust. It was like I trusted her
After about a year or two
I looked at it from two different directions. I looked at that
She didn't care what he didn't knew or used or old material
She just wanted you to come out to be yourself. Yeah, I got that point from her. Yeah, that's what I was trying to show
I was trying to show her more of what I
That's what whatever she saw in me. I wanted her to see that you would see more. That's what she wanted
She wanted you even if the joke bombs she wanted you to commit to that joke
Right as she would say some to you good commitment. Yeah, let me tell you something quick story about you
Lee there was a show called k-loco k-loco was a comedy show on telemundo or uh
gather vision or whatever
And it was like, um, mostly spanish-speaking comics, but after a few years
They just started mixing in a lot of different people, but it's basically a spanish channel
Um, but a lot of local comics were getting a spot on it. So it's
9 11 happens september 11th. This is in october
This is october after 9 11. I was already booked to do this
k-loco k-loco
And we went down there and they shoot like a bunch of episodes in a row
and um, I bailed on my arab jokes because I was like
I don't you know shit just happened like four weeks ago
and uh
So I changed them all and my whole thing and I was like, I'll talk about that
Girlfriend joke and then girls and guys and whatever and I went out there and just
It just wasn't good
And it was just bad and I just couldn't get laughs and like people are like, what the fuck is your act?
What's your what are you here for?
You know, I mean it's a spanish show with black and different
You know ethnicities, you know, it's kind of like do your ethnic shit. This is your crowd. You know, I mean
and I didn't
I didn't know how to handle like
uh
That right after 9 11 a month later. I didn't know what to say yet. So
Anyway, they do a curtain call at the end of the show. They don't call my name
Right. I've been standing around since 6 p.m. Now. It's fucking 9 30 10
You know what I mean? And I I finally got out there to do my six minutes and it just
I'm just fucking sweating to get off stage. Nobody wants to tell me exactly what happened. Nobody can comprehend
you know
Just it was just a bomb, right? And uh
Bobby had left. He was my ride
Bobby Lee just he's a he was gone
And uh, so you were like, come on. I'll give you a ride fucking get in the fucking car
And we're like you have a little car and we're just fucking flying now
I'm 134 and I was like so happy that I was out of there
And you were like you didn't really acknowledge it. You just I don't even think you saw it, you know
You're just like whatever, you know, you just gave me a pep talk. We just fucking
Rattled our way all the way to fucking Los Feliz and you dropped me off and I was like that whole nightmare was over
But I'll never forget that fucking ride home
I was also a little scared because you were coped up to you were like you finished the show the show went great
We did a little fucking this little that or driving you you're going to the store wherever you're going and uh
And you were you were on fire air care. Come on air care. Come on. There's fucking, you know
It was basically a pep talk, but uh, I don't remember anything we were saying I used to
You know when I wake up in the morning
I I put something on twitter
And people always say it's rude or whatever, but this is the things I used to tell myself
Whether after once 2000 2001 came here
I was a different individual. I stopped caring and that's what made me more dangerous
Yep, yeah, that's it once you stop caring it makes you more dangerous than an individual you do
So all those bombings I was talking myself out of them. I was very good
By the way, I just described my top two bombs right there
Yeah
That first set in the or that I sat back and watched paul mooney all night and that k loco thing
And then there was there was one other though
I have a top three after that you know what I mean
You can't keep track of fucking everything, but I just remember those bombs, bro
Yeah, I mean 10,000 good bombs when I bomb my bombing style, but yeah, if you're gonna bomb that's a bomb with a tuxedo
You're the you got to be probably world-class top like pantheon of of bombing with the fucking with
With a with a personality with a fucking uh, you know
Bombing making an art of it
Norm mcdonald's great at it, right?
Uh, there's comics who are just so they make they make bombing and art they take it to the
To anywhere they want then it's like once everybody's united against you
Everybody's united. You can take them on any you can take up any gift you want. Yeah, and it's easier
When I first there was a period at the store where I would take long pauses
I practiced taking long pauses on purpose
horrible
Horrible I do not suggest that that no barnhardt does horrible horrible long pauses to put myself in depots
And that's how I learned set myself in a depots right was take long fucking pauses and people would be sitting there staring
And I wouldn't say a word. You know what taught me that andrew dice class
I was gonna say that's a dice thing andrew dice clay would go
I still remember andrew coming up to me one night and he goes you want to open me this weekend
Go up on stage and don't say a fucking word for three minutes
You did that shit? I did it. That's great with three minutes three minutes. Whoo
Do anything but say a word
Don't say a word for three minutes and you come to vacancy. Isn't j j london's another cuban jew I think isn't he j london
I don't even know gentlemen j london. Oh, I haven't seen him. I haven't seen him. I don't fucking know remember gently
Yeah, I haven't seen him in a long time man. I haven't seen him a while either. What's this thing you got coming out talk to me
Uh, these these guys these filmmakers they've been um in the business, you know
And they haven't made a film in a long time and they really
You know felt motivated with the times we're in
And they went and asked all the middle eastern comedians that they could find
How they are dealing with
uh trump
in the age of trump how are the comedians how are the middle eastern comedians handling it because
You know used to be a thing that there were even middle eastern comedians
Now there's you know a lot
You know it was probably like 50 that are like really good
I mean that's crazy how fast things there was none. There was three. There was four. I was one of the like first four
You know there was people who came before us, but they they never said that they
Arab had nothing to do with it. They would hide it or they just wasn't relevant, right?
So getting like that so anything changed now they're going back
They interviewed everybody. Um, you know moz and russell peter and all the brown comedians, you know
but um
But then anyway, so they just were cool guys
They were doing interviews and then they started like getting focused on my family and how I took kind of
My flight from comedy and married
I married outside of comedy
You know, I didn't marry calm. I actually have a wife. I didn't marry comedy
I guess I didn't choose because I actually went out and I married a woman. Yeah, you know beautiful woman from alberta
Right, and my husband married an attorney and yeah, yeah nobody married into comedy. Yeah, I pursued that
so anyway, they were they were interested in my life and so they shot a lot of that and um with my baby so then they end up
Uh
You know using that this picture on the poster
but yeah, they they really used me as a big focus of them of the
movies tell story of uh
You know how to deal with this what's going on and all the politics, you know and like
You know, there was the travel ban Muslims, then there's just all the immigrants and uh
All of that stuff all that shit, you know, but um from our perspective
as Middle Eastern people
All right, let's just come out now. Okay. So uh, they're doing screenings. What is this? Um,
So october 19th. Yeah. Yeah through 21st
There's gonna be um impales verdes
You know how this is going nationwide. Yeah, it's going nationwide. They're just having um, they're just having like the little world premiere. So
Is there a website they could go to? Yeah, so it's called
travel ban
like travel ban
colon
Make america laugh again
But travel ban
Make america laugh again. You could find that on um facebook or you can just google um the movie and you'll see uh
The dates are october 19th through the 25th
and uh
In new york on december 14th through 20th in brooklyn alpine cinemas
So they're having these one week engagements in la and uh new york. So uh
Yeah, it's a documentary. It's just about it's basically a documentary about comedians
How many times have you seen that right?
Let's follow a bunch of comedians see what their take is how they're dealing with the times we're in
with the trump and all this shit, you know, the
there was no uh
Middle eastern or indian comics until
You two came along and then from that country
They saw the artist stand up comedy because i remember gabriel
Talked about it at one time and he went over. Yeah, we took him over to aamon jordan, right? How big utah?
Yeah, how big youtube was how they were learning how to do stand up. They were finishing his jokes from what?
Yeah from watching youtube over there. His name is jebriel. They're like jebriel and he's like uh
You know fluffy and everything and they knew all of his shit. He showed up. Please went crazy. They're finishing his jokes
He was like what the fuck we met the king the king has us over, you know like
The king
Oh my i shouldn't tell the story man. He he he delayed russell peters flight like we're all on the same flight
Fluffy and his group of eight or whatever. They're awesome, you know
And then russell his couple of people and it's like, you know maz and me and i think oh, no dean
uh obedala
and uh
We all get to the airport and they detain uh russell
And um like did some crazy interrogation and just turned out there was a fucking you know
He's a fucking with them. They're like the king's like give give him the business
You know what i mean?
Just give him the business make him make him like let everybody in and make it seem like he's gonna miss his flight
And he can't go home and then uh, but don't delay the flight. You know just get him on there last minute
They took him around to some shit
I don't know what they did
Fuck i was joking around with them. It was a pleasure seeing you man. All right godfather
I'm happy that you took the time out. We talked about you coming on the podcast a year ago
Yeah, man, it's been bumped into you and we you know, I just like I tell people if you know at the store and I don't see
It's so tough any I know it's hard to remember about it with family with kids
Man, it's great. Can you uh, yeah, you know, you just have uh, so please forgive me. It's nothing personal
It's just that you you're down there. You have such a short window people contact you
Yeah, and things get in the way, but I saw your flyer
No, man, as soon as I wanted to give you some love brother as soon as uh, you saw that you called me and I'm here
And I'm like men this I'm just blessed to know you. Yeah, you know
To ever be thought of and Lee. I'm gonna think of you some time
Oh, it's great to meet you buddy because you know what to be thought of is sometimes, you know, that's
That's what you want because sometimes you worry about what people think but really
You know that they would even think
That you would even be in their sphere the people that you would know like the fact that I could be somewhere in your mind is like we
You know our our cousins and family at the store under my brother
Yeah, my brother Georgie k and you're right under him Georgie and I don't know how many times I go to press your number
Like I got nothing to talk to him about he doesn't think I'm a weirdo
But then I forgot them. I'm the aren't I'm the king of the check it
Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't text me. Don't do that. Just call me. We'll be we'll be cool like motherfuckers
And I wanted to call you and just reach out. I saw your poster
And I wanted you to come on because your family I love you to death and I love that you never
Judge me when I was going through all my problems. I want to repay the favor and tell you to your face
You never
Shunned me you dealt with me as an addict and you always showed me respect. So I never forgot that
So thank you very much before we end
I'm going to be at the improv in west palm beats next weekend
October 11 through the 13th. Don't quote me on the thursday. I think I might take it out
But I'll keep you guys posted
I got a meeting that they got some shit going on and number two
I'm over at heliaries in cleveland with my man george perez
October 25th through the 27th. Do you have anything coming up beside the movie?
Oh, uh, what am I doing the arab american comedy festival in new york city every year?
We do it the annual we're in his 15th year coming up october 11 through uh 14th
Good. I don't have to compete with you motherfuckers. I got my own demons to compete with
I love you. I mean kater. Love you. Number one
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I want to thank the flying juba most importantly. I want to thank you guys on the monday morning
I thought but first we start from zero cops up is go do what you got to do have a great week
Uncle joe here kick that fucking muley
I
Want to be around
To pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart
Some somebody twice as smart as I
Are somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me
Who'll leave you to learn that misery loves company
See
Wait and see
I mean I want to be around
To see how he does it when he breaks your heart to bits
Let's see if the puzzle fits
So far
So
And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet
As I sit there a plodden from a front row seat
When somebody breaks your heart like you
I