Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #630 - Jerry Rocha

Episode Date: October 30, 2018

Jerry Rocha, comedian and host of "The Ramble" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. Joey's NETFLIX special as part of, "The Degenerates," is streaming now! Jerry is recording his newest album this Thursday, November 1 at The Icehouse Comedy Club.  This podcast is brought to you by:   MyBookie.com -  Use code promo Church to get up to a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000.    FujiSports.com  - Use promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount on all the best jiu jitsu and martial arts gear.    Recorded live on 10/29/2018

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play you win you get paid it's Tuesday the 30th Netflix day degenerates and my main man Jerry Rocha hello kick that motherfucking mule Lee oh shit Tuesday October 30th Jerry La Rocha Uncle Joey the Christ killers the system Netflix degenerates here you go you bad motherfuckers nice Tuesday morning kicking it off the right way there you go you bad motherfuckers fucking man nasty nasty for a Tuesday mornin too much too much on a Tuesday you're not awake after that no fucking deal

greetings you bad motherfuckers thank you very much for streaming fucking degenerates if you haven't and yeah you had whatever the fuck you did you know how we do it here Uncle Joey loves you no matter what it's up it's ready I don't know what to tell you anyway Jerry Rocha's here direct from Laredo fucking Texas La Bombaville the original you got my little brother Lisa Stone to the gills I'm trying to make him the twitch man of the year I think you're right though we just got to rip those heads on which he'll be the most popular channel he ain't got a big dick I try to hit the bonheads but you hit bonheads that

like I my lungs filled on fire don't worry about that that's all that means the reason why I was thinking about you lately Jerry's yeah because it's just so weird how you there's a certain breed of people and I've been here for 20 years I've been doing this podcast for six but Lee you've had all types of guests here you've been on the podcast before yeah I did get a debt I love you come on I love that yeah but it's so weird that you're a grind like so I later get rid of you yeah you're gonna have to get into a warrant oh yeah get a good bad class of Chlamydia like you're always up to something and I've known you since

day one how long were you in the game when I met you I've been doing comedy maybe three years or years no pass El Paso Texas I was middling for you it was one of my first ever it happened in the first week Bart ever gave me two middle and I did once I had 20 minutes man 25 minutes I sent him a VHS tape and I just bugged him every day hey man you know here I'm open of course my fails are wide fucking open you know but I would I would always lie and say all this week I can't do it but next you know the comic book place I was at a bookstore working at a bookstore in doubt in the music department of a big

ass Barnes and Noble in Dallas and yeah and I was just and they were cool enough to work hey I need next week I can't wait it was this 98 maybe 90s 99 that's what I was thinking yeah I know this yeah I wrote you it's the 20 years or 20 you had just done baseball I believe I believe you had just finished baseball that was I believe I think that's about the time where it was does that bring a bell's a private okay the first time I went to El Paso I am seed yeah I took a fucking bus down there it was 250 dollars yeah for what the July weekend I forget the two guys names so I even work right and then I didn't hear

from him for a long time and then I think I got booked I got booked with him to an agency in New York City and then I became friends with him because he really trusted that dude in New York now did I headline the week you feed yeah Bart was really he really he really valued that dude in New York the agent in New York that guy Bart would kind of throw he would throw Bart a wreck and part back oh yeah okay great you know like he he was kind of silence he really yeah he worked with that guy a lot and I remember I yeah I think it was my first time ever middling it was still in the west side room the second room

in the west side the big the really big one and yeah I remember I got there and instant we're talking about Pink Floyd the minute I walk in the door we bonded over that I remember you went with me I went and it was like Thursday I drove across town to a comic book store to buy some action figures do you remember that and then we so we could we go to the Chinese buffet and then we're gonna get I went and bought like four action figures at the company you're breaking my balls how long did he last in the comic book store oh he didn't go in he waited he was in the car I was real quick I got him and he was just laughing his ass I'm

walking with Thor and Iron Man and he was dying breaking my bed and then we went to Burlington Coat Factory remember this and we stocked the fuck up on remember when outcast had a clothing plan the rappers they had like those velour sweatsuits we were fucking we had all the rest of the weekend Joey and I were just an outcast velour crush velvet dude we were like fucking jeez man hoodies on and fucking sweat pants of them in those days I was so big I was starting to get big and the only place I could buy clothes was in Texas yeah because dude yeah two X we got you boy we got your son get over here two X's in Texas is way bigger than a two X

yes it is yes it is really weird when you go to Texas and you buy a shirt and it's two X's big on you yeah I'm lost weight I'm gonna eat oh my god it's weird so I remember working there as an emcee yeah and then I did a lot of feature work and I passed so like if there's I give props where props is due and that was a club that I learned oh yeah I re that old club with the gay manager who ideally loved John that was awesome I think it was John I think you're right I mean I loved him with everything I had like whenever I would get the call to go down to the feature because I had a relationship that I took I got all the cancellations yeah and one biggest ball busting I ever got in this town which I'll tell the story now is you know Bart

would call me on Monday afternoons and say you're going to uh can you come to El Paso somebody featured from New York canceled last minute and in those days Lee you were getting 550 for the week yeah okay but the flight no matter when you fucking looked online was always 180 it was always always 180 so that's a third of your pay gone that's a third of your pay gone so you look at that and you look at the Greyhound bus and you got two options 45 bucks it was 20 maybe 25 back then 27 yeah and 35 for the Mexican bus El Conejo where they put the salamundo on yeah and grandma sell tacos those buses are nicer than the Greyhound by the way those Conejos are like a dope man they have places where you can hang your shirt laundry yeah you get the sudden

nerves to watch your shirt wait they get laundry done on the bus that you got to see these things they don't fuck around they don't fuck around man I've got to hold because you have to think a lot of those people are on a two three day trip that's just there you know I mean a lot of them are they're coming from deep in Mexico and they're coming up and so are going back whatever and yeah that they they accommodate it's almost like a being on it like a fancy train except it's just one big bus yeah like this so after I became tight with El Paso yeah like I was such a regular down there like anytime he had a fallout he would call me last minute yeah Joey I got this guy or if if somebody's agent was busting his balls he would fuck this guy yeah fuck him he would call me yeah

light him up like do your fucking nastiest material in front of him dude he did that to be a couple that was the best if he didn't like he was a headliner he would stick the dogs on you because that your agent it was at that time it was a guy from Omnipop and he was booking real there were real features yeah great comics but they were features sure but they were booking them on his headliners because at that time El Paso was a B room yeah so I was a fucking B a feature yeah and I would light these fucking guys up like Christmas trees I still remember one saturday night this poor guy had a ukulele out that's it that's over it's over with one weekend we buried somebody like a weekend you and I I don't want to say name okay so but we did bury somebody yeah didn't you

and I would team up on somebody and just bury them on a saturday and we laughed our ass off because yeah he because yeah and then what was funny is when you when you passed on when you went on to headline I kind of took your place as the fallout middle guy right because I mean and of course I would drive from Dallas 10 hours I just do it I would just get in the car and drive an hour yeah about 10 because it's it's almost halfway so it's almost the same drive in LA to El Paso's Dallas Delphi and yeah like about nine ten hours and so I would just forget being in Houston and Pete Pirelli come downstairs and he goes hey man I just got a call like it was it was saturday yeah I was snorting coke like a motherfucker yeah whatever my salary was was down

in the shed a shooter anyway and I would just go to Texas like I would just tell Terry like I'm going to Texas like when I'm coming back I have no right right and while I was in Houston I got a call to go to someplace and I agreed to go I forget the comic's name and I was so coked up when I agreed to go I get a call from the kid monday and he's like oh yeah I'm gonna pick you up Tuesday night at 11 we're gonna drive all night I go all night we're going to Midland maybe yeah probably it was a nine hour fuck yeah that's about right from Houston to Midlands nine hours and you're not that's not even like that's like that's like you're covering like not even half of the map you know what I mean is it the biggest state in the country I think Alaska technically because but

it's just all ice right so yeah like it land-wise it's right up there with Cal it's Texas California it's like there but even California is like what seven eight hours it's a little more to go from like if you go like from the from San Diego to the very top that's that's a that's a that's a hall but like I mean Texas because it goes both ways all right like so Houston to El Paso that's a fucking that's a trek and then from the top of the panhandle down to Laredo's and that's a how far from Houston to El Paso God that's probably more than Dallas I bet that might be you're looking at maybe 10 12 hours Jesus Christ yeah 10 12 hours I still remember Ralph he coming to visit me in El Paso with Jody and just I just that club was that corner club yeah I don't know about when

he moved yeah about now whatever that corner club I got a knack in there like I just had a knack for fucking like I was in there so much yeah that I just became comfortable like I was one of the few feature acts that killed on military night dude those are yeah man rough yep Wednesday nights was military night and I figured them out and it was packed packed packed oh my god bar up the corner and it was a cocaine festival everybody was fucking high as fuck I never saw anything like that in my life I remember you wouldn't let me drive home the night the weekend we met I was it was uh Monday morning and I was gonna I had like a 10 hour drive back to Dallas and I woke up at like noon and I'm getting ready and I'm packing my shit and you're like where the fuck are you

going and I'm like no I gotta drive to Dallas because sit the fuck down you're not going anywhere and on vh1 it was the behind the music Pink Floyd you're like you're not going anywhere you're gonna be here for two more hours we're gonna we're watching this and then you can fucking leave there used to be a supermarket the the lion something was at the edge of the corner like yeah in the condo yeah walk down there you could walk there yeah and I was a fat fuck and I used to didn't mind making the walk because the food oh it was real good the homemade food the homemade Mexican food there the homemade Mexican food in the supermarket was Fridays I always made sure I got cooked up on Thursday nights because Friday they had fresh yucatan fish soup right and it was like

this Mexican soup with everything included some fins eyeballs spines every time you took a bite out of it you're getting something yeah but the food the soup was so good for you yeah you could feed this was real fish soup this was no couple pieces of right right cream this was a Mexican style fish soup I would get the big container of it and they would have those packages with those fucking chowder things yeah yeah oh Jesus and they give you lemons to pour in the soup lines oh man they give you like five limes yeah and I'd be hung over as fuck and I'd bring that bow home and I'd drink half of it straight up and then I put the limes in there I'd put the chowder and I'd just sit in front of the TV and eat everything and when at the end they'd just be

spines from me spitting them out there was every type of fish in there God knows I didn't even you don't ask right right right and they had ceviche in the corner on Fridays Jesus they had a bunch of shit in the end yeah they had hardies which at the time that was the last time I ever ate hardies yeah because I ate it one time and the second time it tastes funny and I took the bun off and the meat was skin it was human skin no it wasn't yeah it had just been hardies the people were just been a fire yeah and they caught it was like the charcoal burger it was because the people had just been burnt I looked at it you can see the veins in it that's the leg when the horse raddish fucking can't kill the taste of me you're done it's not wrong there I was always an Arby's guy

that's Soiling Green that's people do you remember the Arby's on pastel Arby there was Arby's the supermarket and then you made the right hand turn up the hell that was on the west side and it was next to a Radio Shack yeah man yeah so I used to fucking go to that Radio Shack and I used to go to that Arby's and I because you're broke Lee yeah you gotta live off 300 you're making a week yeah because 180 goes to the plane ticket yeah 180 no and those days I took the the $30 bus and so now I had become a regular his like I was telling you this story so I'm sitting there with John Westling Ralphie Maine Jody and I say to them I'm taking uh I'm so embarrassed that I had a lot of them right they're like what time are you leaving for El Paso and I go I'm leaving tonight and I'm like

what time do you need to ride to the airport and I go no no no I just need to ride down to Union Station the guy I'm working with is going to pick me up at Union Station right right I was too embarrassed to do it I feel it man yeah I've been there fuck yeah Jody and John Westling you had to take it but I had to take a fucking bus and they Ralphie drove me down there and Ralphie the cocksucker that he is went around the corner sat there and watched me get on the bus like no like going to the bus station like I waited out there like waving at him right five minutes and then he went up the corner and waited on me and they saw me going to the bus station oh man so when I got back he's like what time did your flight get back for that for my parcel I'm like oh like

lunchtime because you're fucking lying I took a bus and I saw you and I'm like no I didn't so for years I didn't claim to it at all I kept saying dog I did not I took a plane you didn't see me did you they got picked me up so for years he would bust my balls he just forgot about it you know he's going to be when what time did your plane come in because a parcel was a great room to do on Saturday yeah because I think that you could still catch the bus yeah after the show on Saturday those buses went late yeah there was a 1 a.m. bus yeah yeah I got you back here at one probably two o'clock in the afternoon next day yeah there was an extra sleep on the bus and you're good man just crash on the sleep oh my god I used to get fucked up on those buses

yeah that's showing me you go on those bus I remember when I met you the do you remember how we met I walked I got to the condo and you were just sunbathing like a gangster on the swimming at the swimming pool remember that you're just sitting there by the pool sunbathing it was yeah man that's how we met those that was a great fucking week doesn't doesn't coke make you want to like walk around and like be like do stuff how do you how are you getting that high on a bus for 12 hours when you're stuck in a seat man I would sit there by myself just get lost in your thoughts right oh my god pray bring a notebook I would take a notebook yeah bring water I would sneak a beer yeah man I would have like a carry-on bag there was no dogs then when you got into

Mexico when you the first time I went down the bus the bus got pulled out on the way no shit before the july weekend the bus got pulled out like dogs came on and snored all the coke the dog knew I snorted it he kept barking we at me he knew was in me but they can't do shit if you're already snorted hey it's too late but that was it the guys never came on yeah but that bus was today to think about that bus it was torture but it's what we do with great dude this shit we've had to but I remember one time I was doing a triple run I hit black ice my tire exploded and I had I had to make the show too bad I'd fucking put on the donut and did 80 the other 150 miles on I can't believe the donut made it and it's fucking on it so let me clear some

I've I've driven a donut for two years right you know what I'm saying that's the bullshit you got like the 25 miles of it you can get out of a donut when you get out of a donut I've gotten and I can dog you laugh I had a donut on my knee son for three four months taking four hour triple runs when I see I think I had two of those service but I think I had two of those one time you think I'm fucking kidding don't have the front on the back oh my god when I was on the road those cars were a fucking man once I figured out was just all bullshit yeah I told me a 25 mile donut you can go buy a tire the next morning that don't go to fucking that when that thing goes then we'll get another one I eat that's what I used to do I used to drive with the real tire in

the back with the donut on because I knew the donut would go if you're in the left if you're in the left hand lane and that right tire pops you're fucking done though I used to have a car when I first got here I had a car that had no brakes no registration no insurance and whenever I would step on a brake you would hear the metal like sparks would come out of the engine I can see why you didn't drive it to El Paso that one no no that one was local that one was from local gigs only I drove from Texas to Washington for the turbo run drove from Texas had it I remember one time I drove to host I'd lost money obviously but I just wanted to try to get in with every club I could uh that club bananas and Poughkeepsie

remember that in the hotel drove from Dallas Texas to go fucking MC there okay so well for a weekend let's do something real quick let's quite a lot just lies yeah man this story all right so I met you in El Paso yes and then did I work with you and Addison at all yeah it was after right after longest yard we worked in that yeah and you were you because you were questioning hey you want to come in because you know I was living there and so I went to host it for you and Addison a couple times yeah yeah and then you moved to New York at one point yep about 2006 2004 five six around there and how long did you stay in New York about a year and then it just it got to the you got mugged in New York I got I didn't want to leave I loved it

I got I didn't give a fuck I got mugged I did a show I did a spot the very next night my fucking face was purple it was out to here just blood everywhere I was like fuck it I want to decide the night it happened the night it happened my may he rest in peace my brother Mike Di Stefano he called me because he I didn't hear from him we used to hit me up and we get home from the gig and he calls me and luckily I had two cell phones at a New York cell phone and my regular cell phone and my New York cell phone had with me it got destroyed and he called me he goes what the fuck where you been oh well Mikey I got jumped he goes what no we're the what the fucking street corner I'm like no it's okay man because no no Jerry is you're doing me a favor my brother just

really wants to beat the fuck out of a couple of Puerto Ricans tonight so here tell me where it happened we'll bring some bats we'll let you get a couple of shots I'm like no I'm good but yeah I went to the spot the very next night and so I was in New York for about a year and it just I loved New York I loved it I fucking loved it man and I was getting love at some of the clubs I was kind of you know but there was just this weird because before I left I was already passed at the improv out here right and so part of me just thought I felt like man I remember you got me that spot at the store and I was starting to get a couple of those like friends and family spots and I was like man I just kind of missed LA you know and I'm like I think I should be in LA

just for me personally and so I was in LA first before New York I was in LA I was staying with my buddy for a couple of months on his sofa you remember that and then and then then I went back to Texas and then I went to New York and then after New York I went back to Texas saved up a shit load of money and then came back here for good and that was it and how long have you been here almost like 10 years now a little over 10 years yeah straight yeah yeah and it was just and I remember you told me yeah when I remember when I moved here that when I moved out of here the first time you called me and you said you're gonna be okay I remember you told me it was it was saved my life in a way because I was thinking to like because you know how hard it is when you

have to move you know what I mean and you told me it goes look you're gonna be okay you're gonna just fucking grind come back and you're like trust me coming back the second time is the hardest move you ever gonna make but you're gonna have to do it and I was like yeah fuck you're right and you just you know you grind through it and you fucking just I did man I worked every fucking I worked day job shitty gigs in Texas in that period just to save up enough money to come back to New York yeah I loved it oh fuck I loved it man I loved it man I loved New York I lived in Astoria Queens was right there right off the end train man it was yeah I loved it it was but I was there for about a year it was great but I mean we would talk a lot I remember that too we

talk all the time when I lived out there because I didn't know anybody but Mike you know Mike was my you know Mikey D and I became instant friends but you know that was it he was really one of the few people I really knew in New York because when I met him I was opening for Stan Hope at Caroline's and he was pissed because he wanted to open for Doug but Doug knew I just moved to New York because hey coming open for him I was like fuck and I went over there and Mike was mad that he you know and so and that's why I met Big J Big J was hosting and uh it what year was this god big guy 2006 maybe something like that yeah Big J and it was like and he was like he he was super cool to me he was one of those guys who was like hey welcome to New York man he got me

in touch with a couple of bookers and it was great and um I don't even know if they remember that right but I used to work for Big J uh not the Big J got me in touch with uh Lewis Lewis used to book a couple of rooms uh Goma he used to book a couple of rooms and he would he would man just on Big J's wreck he got me side unseen it was really kind of a man it was really helped paying those days a little bit yeah and then and then fuck yeah then and then Mike got me in at a club that he knew the owners at and it was you know and we would work there what club was that the Ha and we were there in Times Square in Times Square and we were there it was look I know a lot of comics talk shit about the room but man Mike and I we every night fucking almost six seven shows

a night it would start at 6 30 in the morning it's 6 30 evening it ended at 2 30 in the morning and every hour on the hour they had two show rooms you just run upstairs and downstairs and do and you you can't help but become a good comic right it just you it's like fuck you're in front of tourists you're like god damn you really got to bring it because the guy before you just crushed you're like shit okay you know and it it makes it made you really it made you good and it was why did they talk shit about the club it just the owner was you know I he was fine with us but he just wasn't that kind other than he paid yeah yeah fuck I mean I think he the problem is I think he only paid the guys he liked you know what I mean so I was lucky enough to be a guy that he

liked but he would pay yeah I mean you would leave he'd give you a lot of cash every night you know stuff like that you know it was it and it was great and but I just as much as I love New York I just had this nagging I wanted to be back here I just something about LA I just felt like I wanted to be back in LA and not you know nothing against New York but I just I just felt like it just felt like there was something missing like because I it felt like when I was out here for those first few months things were kind of starting to go good and then what year was this now 2004 and then so and then my buddy that I was staying with he had to leave in 2004 there was a lot of action going on isn't it Pat buckles put me on that Latino lap vessel TV show yes like it was all this

shit was it was like fuck this is great like I was like man and then you know it just again the war I was staying with my friend and he ran out of money and he had to move back to Texas and I was like fuck so I was working a day job at a team oval in westwood and I was like oh shit like I wasn't making enough to afford you know taking over the rent for that apartment and I was like you know I was you know I was like shit I don't have enough to just start getting my apartment right now I was like fuck so I was like well I move back to Texas too and then that's when I saved up bread moved to New York that well let me give New York a try and I loved it but I was like man and you were great I mean you'd always give me pep talks like it's gonna be all right

whatever you do but you I say but you know whenever you want to come back to LA we'll be here you know that we'll be waiting for you okay let me tell you something I went to Cleveland I took a red eye yeah to Cleveland on Wednesday night nice which I never take right oh yeah all right all right I gotta tell you both the story because if something happens this is the next show I'm pitching deal the next show I'm pitching is about those nine months that I did in New York when I really think about those nine months those nine months really made me a comic but it brought me back to speed as character there's certain times in your life when you have to do something for maybe eight nine

12 14 months and it seems like a bump in the road but 10 years later you look at that and it's the best thing that ever happened no question I was in a horrible horrible state as a human being as an individual I what you guys called depression I was stuck in living it and I was starting I was never starting to lose reality or something I was just down yeah the bolder place had fired me as an emcee there was a new comedy club opening Judy Brown had talked these engineers from the University of Colorado to uh to open up a comedy club and not to serve booze to serve popcorn and hot dog and everybody sat everybody sat in the desk you have no idea the school desk and they called the university comedy club and it was all PG

rated the fucking Chinese guy told me not to come around no more the guy was beaten oh I was beating this little Chinese dude for about a year out of money with all these open mics and shit like I was gonna bring Cosby and Richard Pryde to the club and on Monday nights when he wasn't there I would bring a black guy and I would tell the bartender I told him I brought Pryde but he wasn't here and I get 300 out of like all my avenues dried up fuck yeah man I was just down and out I was losing a divorce I lost my job in the sports betting service and I knew it I knew it was time to touch New Jersey ground I had been through prison I'd gotten married I'd gotten the voice had been I hadn't been home in eight years and I had lost the pep in my step yeah and I knew

it my soul just needed to go back to that area and start from scratch you know and I went back in the first month I had a cushy a buddy man I would just wake up and every day he'd just peel off a yardstick yeah give me a hundred a day that's great like that nobody does that yeah but those are the friends I had yeah he would give me his car if I had a run errands I'd go to New York a bit of a grandma blow or whatever at night I would stay with his wife and get a chance she was pregnant it was then after that I moved to Fort Lee New Jersey close side park and I lived with George mm-hmm and George was a fucking heroin addict oh and me and George shared a room the size of this office there was a single little kids bed yeah like a little kids bed that your feet hung

off of and there was a couch George was a gentleman so he took the couch and I took the bed nice I had the bed while he was in rehab right okay I moved in with his grandmother help her while he was in rehab so when he got a rehab he lived on the couch and those were the most fascinating eight months of my life it taught me how to get up in the morning again and go into the city and how to make money selling cars and just it was a brilliant time and something else happened I figured out the equation the company I figured out that you just didn't get on stage I figured out that if you wanted to write a joke you had to write it and then add to it and it all came to me and I was ready to pursue it but I couldn't pursue it in New York right I was just gonna spin my wheels in New

York that's weird I felt the exact same fucking way I was just spinning my wheels in New York I wasn't going to get to that next level there was a big gap that's I felt it's crazy yeah yeah yeah there was just too big of a gap I didn't have the the the the the chops to cover it right I did not have the chops to cover it and there was no way I was gonna get the chops living in New York at that time yes if I knew one thing about Denver was that the comics since the comedy works was such a high-level club and they handpicked that the comics all had to go out and hustle Denver taught me how to do comedy the right way thank god I knock on wood yeah I didn't have to bring four people eight people oh man but anyway they get back to this New York stint

so it's September of 93 it's August of 93 I'm doing okay yeah I'm doing okay I'm getting on stage maybe three times a week four times yeah I'm not getting anywhere I'm not getting any laughs I'm not getting any laughs I had two or three jokes and but my my health was improving my all because of this heroin addict it was just I loved torturing people when he was perfect for me I just tortured him at night but he put the cards on me and tortured me right but there's this one Sunday that I get up and I got about 18 dollars in my pocket and joint and I don't know I don't know what I did for breakfast but it was one in the afternoon and it's a Sunday in New York it's warm up Jesus Christ I'm 30 something years old it's 1993 I'm 30 years

old I should be out in New York having a beer at a bar meanwhile all I want to do is go to Harlem and get a bag of weed which I can't yeah I got 18 bucks so I got 10 dollars to get two joints and I could eat at lunch and I could eat a hot dog or slice of pizza and soda but Jesus Christ is my life really this pathetic I got 18 dollars and we lived underneath a chick that had a kid okay that's all I know a chubby type chick and a kid and one day I'm sitting on the bed reading a book of our comedy that's when there was that magazine was out at all the comedy club yeah yeah yeah of course yeah I'm reading this magazine I'm reading the Judy Carter book that's when I got Jean Peret's comedy and I would you know I had this day job but I also had this

dream at this point yeah I had seen Jay Leno in New York I'd seen a couple people and now I knew I wanted to go to it I just seemed like it was on well now I was just waiting to get out of I was trying to figure out how to get out of fucking New York because New York just I was just an addict in New York right New York it's too easy to get drugs and Jesus isn't it crazy it was just too easy I mean I don't even you know me I'm clean I don't do any of that shit but you just like he's fuck you could get anywhere my friends would give me money to get them coke and so the days I didn't want to get high and now I was ended up getting high it was just that that's what the problem with the East Coast was for me everything was too available yeah so there's one Sunday I'm

sitting there with my 18 dollars it's 2 30 me afternoon and there's a barbecue grill in the backyard and I see the mom come out with the barbecue grill and her little boy yeah and she opens up the barbecue grill and she's putting burgers on and stuff now I lived in this building in 85 and I lived in this building now in 93 and I had robbed this building a thousand times so I lived there the first time on the third floor there was a couple I was just robbing them once a week like you know like if they had left an unlawful like if they left five twenties I would take three twenties and I would take that credit card using them put it back a week later they had a stack of cards well that's where it is I don't know where that thing went yeah they had a stack

of credit cards in the desk I was robbing them every like two or three days they would always put money in this circle I would I would steal something every three or four days so it's 93 when I left I remember George saying to me when he came to Colorado he was like yeah man the girl upstairs called the cops they said they were missing a bunch of stuff did you know what they were doing and George never accused me all that's great so now it's 93 how the fuck would they leave it out you deserve it if you leave your shit out like that how fucking stupid are you man come on I was a piece of shit so it's Sunday George his grandma would leave on Sunday so George could have the green light to shoot everyone right so by Sunday he was broke and he would save just

a little taste just enough to get him high right yeah so I see grandma leaves for an hour George gets up goes into the bathroom blasts off and I can see he's coming back oh man he would watch that stupid fucking show on MTV beavis and butthead oh yeah yeah so he's watching beavis and butthead giggling all nodded up on heroin and shit right and I see this lady cooking and I run upstairs to her apartment I open up the front door I knock first I open up the front door and I look and there's a table with a purse in the middle of the oh top of the dinner table and there's an envelope sticking out of it like a deposit envelope and I look at it I just take the envelope close the door and I go downstairs I go in the bathroom I count that like eight bills right I take the envelope

I rip it up into a thousand pieces and I flush it down the toilet and I take the 800 I take it and I hide it in the mailbox somebody lived there somebody lived upstairs mailbox it's Sunday then I gotta check it right and I just waited I ain't that stupid I know this is not so we're laying on the bed he's all fucked up on the heroin now right she's there with her and the kid go upstairs with the cook meal and it's not 20 minutes and I hear the door now they had already had problems with George because they're being the building the heroin addict so she's like the grandma opens the door hello and she's like is your grandson home I'm missing eight her dollars I know his hand he's the only heroin addict in the building and grandma's going no he's been laying down the

whole time and he goes George wake up this lady say that you I'm sitting there giggling inside I cannot laugh at all I cannot laugh at all I'm just holding it in and now the cops come and there's two cops in the hallway and they got George out there and he's fucking none and fucking the cops are asking to be robbed it yeah she's like I'm telling you it was him I left on top of the dinner table and he's and I'm sitting back there howling my ass so pretending to read the newspaper like you know I didn't know nothing like I'm napping right and now something I get up and I get involved like what's going on George it was just fucking ladies accusing me around I go George hasn't moved at all nobody robbed you lady and she's fucking crying oh and

I'm feeling bad enough as it is right it's a doggie dog you know at that time I was crazy and I felt ripped totally I feel really bad right but I couldn't give it back at that point you know the cops came and they interviewed George had George outside for like 30 minutes he's out there all fucked up on heroin they made him empty his pockets so boom I fucking wait like an hour I let everything calm down I tell George I'm going to walk into the city I get the 800 out and I'm at a Chinese restaurant within 15 right at the enchanted lily before my favorite the shredded beef oh my god sesh one shredded beef and I was over the city I went pick up like an eight ball I went down and picked up this girl I knew I went crazy for a night and I gave my money like two

days later but I never told that's crazy I leave October sure we reconnect in 99 2000 only 2005 one night we're at a restaurant and I tell him he's high on the heroin right no he's straight now he's been sober for his oh that's great yeah he's been sober since 96 oh it's good for him so I tell him the story and he goes I remembered that you motherfucker I was high as fuck you put killed as high so Thursday night he's out he's at a bar in cliffside park and he's sitting there and there's these you girls at the bar next to him and guys I don't know what they're watching guys they had football on there went to giants I don't know I don't know it was this Thursday we were played this Thursday and he said that the girls next to him

asked him if he was from the neighborhood he goes yeah the girl goes I'm from cliffside park originally and he goes really he goes where'd you live and she goes in with terrorists he goes get the fuck out of here I live I grew up on him with terrorists she goes where'd you live he gets 754 in with terrorists and he says to himself come on I lived in him with terrorists he goes where'd you live I lived in that same building oh shit girl goes we lived in the second floor so one day my mom got robbed oh fuck that was the baby that was the baby fuck man he calls me oh shit now I'm you know I'm there is when I take a red eye that night I had the the uber was picking me up at 8 30 yeah my call time was between 8 30 and 8 45 he called 8 10

I'm thinking to myself it's George I'll just call him because I had the baby in the living room yeah we'll watch some tv shows my last 20 minutes while I don't want to be on the phone sure so I figured I'll call George back on the drive to hoob when I call him back he's howling by himself and he goes let me tell you he told me the story that he's talking to the girl uh he goes he just stopped once he said that we moved because we got robbed he stopped because he knew if he told her that his grandmother was the super the girl she would know yeah that is fucking great man fuck I can't look has that ever happened to you before like when you were living in jersey wouldn't someone sit next to you and it'd be like the person you robbed

right that's that is a crazy that's a fucking crazy coincidence man to what are the odds what are the fucking odds amazing my mom we moved we got robbed we left we moved two months later or something he said he was crying fuck man that's great oh shit so how many now you have a netflix special yeah it was only on for a year but yeah it was up there for you yeah that out there for a year and uh and now i'm doing my uh a cd on thursday how long have you been doing comedy totally now god since i was 17 yeah i started on 17 i'm 41 now fuck it's been a minute 24 years 24 years 24 years so i've been doing comedy three or four years longer yeah about yeah 91 i started yeah i started in 95 right right in the right before

i graduated uh actually right after i graduated high school so it was uh after the summer um it like the beginning of summer like no the end like in august in the end of 7 august i started doing open mics in dallas of 95 living how long doing it you know god since new york so about 12 years i guess knock on wood yeah just it took you how long to start making a living at least 10 at least five of just consistent yeah yeah yeah but because it was always like because i'd always have a day job it's great when you have a day job and you get like three weeks and one oh fuck that was the best yeah dude i'm buying all the fucking video games i'm going to game stop and i'm yeah i'm cleaning them out about being a local comic having a local job that yeah makes page okay fuck yeah

covers your bills and then you do there's three different comedy clubs an hour apart and each of them give you a week you know every month of 500 300 600 you're making a kill in your home you have no idea how great it was when i'd be like you know i pay all my bills from work and then i'd be like i just have like a couple of bucks left over that sucks and then kind of scary you know and then boom randy from hyenas calls me hey i'm gonna come down to arlington this weekend fuck yeah i'll be you know that oh the best the fucking i remember those days i would go to go to go to work at the bookstore i would clock out run to the bathroom put on nicer clothes and then drive down to to arlington do a spot in hyenas you know oh yeah that was the best man that was great that was just

you ever get discouraged along the way every i get discouraged every night i got i was discouraged this morning yeah i get because i don't i don't think this out look i'm not trying to be little what people do but i think if you're if you're not just working if you are chasing something that's been in your heart since as long as you could for me it was four years old when my aunt uh my aunt sandra took me to go see beverly hills cop when it came out i was in fucking i think second i forgot how old it was maybe second grade i was maybe because when i was four i snuck out and saw delirious at my grandmother's house because she had hbo we didn't have hbo but when i would go visit my grandmother in laredo she had hbo and i snuck

out in the middle of the night and i saw eddie murphy delirious and i was four or five i had no idea what the fuck he was so i didn't know what half of it meant but when he did the thing about the annies got the mustache and all that and the ice cream i was oh god i was i was like this is the greatest thing i've ever seen and then and then i loved dana carvey on started live weird aw yankovic eddie murphy and money python those four things were just i would you know and then so when i was a kid my aunt took me to see beverly hills cop when i came out in the theater i think it was like in first grade i was saying motherfucker recess the next day i got went to the principal's but like i make kids cry because i say motherfucker i was like no i think it's funny but when something

is in your heart for that long me comedy is what i wanted to do since i was four it you're gonna get discouraged even if things are going great you're gonna get discouraged because for whatever reason there's always that nagging voice in your head that's telling you you still aren't doing what you really wanted to be you know what i mean like whatever that is it's like there's this mythical extra rung in a ladder that your fucking soul or whatever your insecurity creates and it makes you feel like you just you're nothing if you aren't grabbing it and i always feel like i'm not grabbing it like i always feel like i'm still reaching for something that i've you know i don't know but yeah i always fuck yeah dude i get discouraged all the time an hour after i have

that's why i think people do heroin and people do things like that especially entertainers because an hour after you crush you're back to just being jerry you're back to just being joey you're no longer that guy who just had 500 people crying and screaming and cheering now i just go back and i'm just this fucking dude alone in a fucking hotel room right and that's all i am and that's that's what i that's the hard part is i just sit there and like fuck i'm just this dude who's just fucking all by himself in a town you've never been in before and i'm just here you know and then sometimes when you're on the road i remember i was i was working with this guy i forgot his name but he had crone's disease the headliner and so you're sitting there just

depressed that you're working some shitty gig in south bend indiana right and you're in this shitty condo and if that isn't bad enough you're just alone with your thoughts you hear this guy taking a shit like every other hour just what you just fucking horrific shit and you're just sitting there right next to it you know your bedroom's right next to the bathroom so you just get woken up in the whole night by this guy just shitting and you're like mother you know like fuck but you had a great set that night so that's you remember that at least a little bit like yeah but i did that and not many people can say that they went and smashed a room so fuck yeah okay i'll keep fighting and that's but yeah dude i get discouraged all the time all the time it just

because it's you know it's it's it comedy's been in your heart i bet longer than you even know right like you probably don't even realize i bet if you start if somebody were to hypnotize you they would probably find memories i like the art of i liked i like the art of laughing yeah and i liked the art of making people laugh yeah scenario i'd never dreamed of stand up really i now thinking back like yeah i was funny on the bus yeah when it was 10 of us and i could torture lee and you would torture me and lee would torture me back we all grew up together we're on the basketball team together that scenario i was good i didn't know about the solo shit on stage you know what what got that for me was my first ever performance was um and when i was a kid

my my uncle my aunt's husband him and his brothers in laredo would have these carnazadas and they would just have me they would they would give me quarters like like you know a dollars and quarters change but if i would just go do impersonations i was like five years six years old and they would love it and they would start giving me money and i was like well that feels good and then when i was in fifth grade i was a class clown right i was always trying to make my friends laugh in class and the teacher pulled me aside i'll never forget this my fifth grade teacher avin cravens may he rest in peace he pulled mr cravens he pulled me aside and he goes hey you want to can i cut you a deal right now and i said sure what am i in trouble and he goes no no no it goes

just do me a favor if you don't interrupt my lesson to tell a joke every friday i'll let you tell five minutes of jokes at the end of class and i'm like fuck yeah deal shook on it and at every friday at the end of class i would go up and do five minutes i was impersonating the principal you know stupid shit like that but the kids loved it and i was like i was like oh that felt good and that was it i just knew that we planted it and i was in high school on a date with my girlfriend at the time junior year and we would always go to this comedy club called the back door in dalis still there in dalis and it was like because it was like it was cheap wasn't as expensive as the improv right like it was easier for like high school kids to afford to go you know and they

they were a cleaner room so they allowed younger people to go in there like you didn't have to buy booze that kind of shit you know and so we would just go and watch comedy and i they just had a sign i was getting ready to graduate the next year senior year is getting ready to graduate we've been going all junior year and then senior year and i just saw him with the signs of hey do you think you're funny try your open mic and i'm like fuck that's what i want to do it just that it was just that because i was about to go to community college i had no idea what the fuck you know what i mean and then i was like that's it i that is it that's oh yeah that's what i want to do like all right and then so i just wrote three minutes of the unfunniest shit you could fucking

imagine and i just went up and that was it i just never stopped going up no matter what was happening i'd always go up on their wednesday open mics always and i remember man i felt like a champion when they gave me that first ever friday night spot oh dude i was like 18 and i've been doing it for like five months like yeah you're doing good we think you're ready you want you come into a friday oh man i thought that was it i'm like oh yeah it was that was fun man that was when you were 23 did you have any doubts about staying up at all oh yeah oh yeah i never thought what were you thinking 23 i thought i don't know i just 23 was about the time do you remember cw kendall you ever worked for him yes 23 was about the time that i was in with him and then and i was touring

with neil edwards and he would he would get me hooked in with clubs and i would start to call him on my own and he always told me that he goes look i can get you in the door but they're not going to remember you you know no matter how good you do they're not going to remember the kid who went up into 10 minutes like you're gonna have to stay on him and so i would fucking call binom every day at laughs i would call uh randy at hyenas i would call the every day at 23 i call cw kendall every day it was just Tucson at that point because that guy yeah it was a Tucson and i think at that point albuquerque was already russ revas i believe i think right around there is when russ revas has already had albuquerque and so but so and then

jeff jones the looney bins up in uh he had memphis at the time uh little rock and tulsa and then now he's i don't think he has maybe the oklahoma city witcher talk hansis right and so i would call him and he was dude that dude jeff jones say that that those looney bins those clubs do you store around jeff i think so yeah they saved my ass so many times i remember i would just be like they would i would get a phone call because that that is it's like you said like i don't know i don't know man like because you know me like i'm not as i'm not that religious of a person my grandmother would fucking kill me if she heard me say this yeah but like i'm not that religious of a person but i do believe in i don't think you have to i think if you like you said if we talked before

the show if you're a grinder like you have to believe you know and i remember there was those times when i would get discouraged go you know what maybe i'm not going to make it as a comedian maybe i should just try to climb my way up this fucking bookstores corporate ladder and you know just and then and then jeff jones calls me out of the blue hey uh what are you doing next weekend holy shit this is a paid gig fuck yeah and that keeps you and then when i moved out here you have those moments of doubt where i have ten dollars in my bank right and i'm not getting paid until next friday and i'm like fuck what am i going to do and then back when emily used to help book the improv she'd call me hey you want to come middle for us starting tomorrow

fuck just that lightning hits of like fuck yeah thank god this is going to keep me afloat for another month this is you know what i mean those moments dude they happen a lot and it's god bless them but yelly but i but i so around 23 i was just i was still working at the bookstore of course but every morning every monday morning i would get up and call in avails to all the clubs that i had met the one nighter bookers that i had met i just stayed on them fucking calling everybody i'd ever known at that at that point i would just i had a little address book and every time i met got in with a new club met a new per gks and in bowmont i would call them all the time black company yes the black couple that owned it inside the hilton remember inside the hilton gks i would

call them and that's when uh that guy dick williams was booking it and i so he i would call dick every day fucking just say hey man you know sorry to bug you but here's here my avails uh uh what's to face cap cities the velveta room texas at the time had a lot of rooms so rocky bottoms rocky bottoms in in uh abbot then there's three clubs in houston three in houston there was fell or well they had they had uh don learned a dream they had uh danny martine as his room you had uh peach room and the guy but forgot who was uh who was a guy before pete who had to stop shit i forgot his name but you know what i'm talking about the one that everybody thought owned it i thought he owned it i didn't know he was just mad yeah yeah so that and then and

spell binders right so you had those four rooms when i was starting in houston and then there was a room uh in lubbock the froggies was in lubbock i think there was a room in abilene like they had all these fucking little and then and you know every there's always one there was always one room that was a front for drugs that would be in midland like you would always go and you'd midland and the other place or desa and then then we well it's middle no desa airport yeah but corpus corpus had a room the drug room corpus had a drug room close to your from yeah laredo in san antonio had to had a room and then uh laredo have you been to all lately yeah is a good room it's a great room it's gorgeous it's a fucking go i still like the river center

though because that's where that was my first one it's the river center no no i still like the rivers but it's the same guy they own them both so it's lol and then the river center is now the improv they call it they it's now an improv but it's the same owners it's still the dude it's still that guy who owns them both yeah um but the one inside the mall is the improv the one inside the mall is the improv used to be the river center and then the lol's like in its own it's more like because the river center still the improv is still downtown you know and the lol's more like heart of san antonio like middle of the city type of thing okay so that's the one you want to work lol's yeah it's a that's a badass room but yeah like it was uh so that i mean and you

and then laredo because i was from there you know every now and again you get a phone call from hey i you know i talked to your cousin he said you're a comedian hey i want to do a comedy night if i give you like 300 bucks you're like you would just get those things you know and so i would spend i remember i would give uh because before i had a cell phone so i would just i would give a lot of bookers the phone number for the bookstore and i would say just whoever answers just ask for just be transferred to the music department you know like a couple of times they would get that's how i get some gigs they would call okay hey that's me you know like i'll be there you know like shit like that for sure man that was dude i yeah there was also a pay phone too

outside and inside by the bathroom right outside the music department and it was kind of risky but sometimes i would get that number out and i would just kind of keep an ear if i would hear it ringing i would just run over real quick and answer and there every now and again it would be a gig be like all right yeah i'll be there you know like fucking crazy just did we had to do man like but yeah it's just i don't know if i'm and it's kind of depressing but i don't know if i'm ever not going to still get discouraged right but i now this is where i'm going to sound like a fucking lunatic i think it's in a way i like it because it makes me hungry still it makes me think you know what yeah i did really well i what i put out i put out one special and two cds three hours

of content whatever i'm still hungry i still don't think i'm good enough yet and i always want to feel that way i don't know if i want to be that discouraged but i always want to feel like i'm just not quite good enough i always want to feel like no i still got to work i still got to work i still got to work because i don't ever want to be yeah my dad made rest in peace he he told me this it was when i first started doing comedy and he told me a story about how when he loved stand up when he was a kid and he remember he watched a guy on the tonight show this is way back when right in like the 60s and he a guy was like what's the deal with the funky chicken like he was like making fun of all these dances the teenagers do and he goes man i thought that guy was the funniest

comic ever and then he was on the tonight show two years later and i was all excited and he was like what's the deal with the funky he's just doing the same shit and i was like ah i was so bummed out it wasn't funny anymore and i just and i always remembered like you've been with those dudes we've both worked with those i mean no offense to him god bless him for for being out there but there's there's been some cheeseball headliners that you and i've had to open for that you know they're doing the same jokes the same act that they did 10 years ago right it's never changed a work form once and i don't ever want to fall into that trap of thinking that oh it's is good enough right and so i think that is why i get discouraged too is i never want to think like i

just want to always be hungry always want to have like a little bit of a chip on my shoulder not a not a really devastating one return to some asshole but you know what i mean just have that kind of little chip to be like no i fuck that i still want to try to prove that i'm good at this i was never a comedy fan really like i would never even think of going on comedy club in my world and it was finally in boulder where i went to see a comedian yeah and i went back the following year because my friend knew somebody or he won tickets and i never forget that comedian never wrote a new joke and i wasn't even thinking of doing comedy sure but i bet you felt ripped off right i remember saying to myself if i was ever a comedian i would have new material right like i

remember having that and not even thinking of being a comic right like at that point in my life the farthest thing from my mind was getting on stage right doing movies or anything i thought that it was out of my realm so when i became a comic i always have to fall back about telling people about your day worst case scenario you know i learned early on at the two or three year mark yeah in all those rooms that you do every night that the best thing to do is just tell them about your day no question without the two jokes you wrote and talk about your day and tape it and listen to it and if you do that four nights a week you'll get three new fucking minutes a week always a week it's not stop that's what i did when i moved to boulder back to boulder in 94

i was 93 and a half after i lived with the junkie yeah like i was really tuned in like okay this is what needs to be done i got the notebook i got the pen i would still write renegade style yeah but i wrote that's all that mattered i still wrote renegade style but i wrote i took a lot of chances i learned in new york to take chances you have to so i took chances with material every night i went into something new just to feel it out to see how i could chop it up and that took years to develop the chop-up game takes another fucking five years that happens while you're performing yes and then you learn the chop-up game you know last week i put a clip up i put a clip up that rick ramo's put up nice of sanford and sun and i still remember the night

we used to get pizza on friday nights me and alona mertens and we'd watch sanford and sun and she going to man still the best sanford sun's still the fucking best man and i still remember and if you watch the wording of it he says to him they're in the courtroom scene and they've cut it up i don't want to put it on because you two just gonna yank it down i know what you're talking about we're red fox says red fox oh my god but we got enough to me yeah it's so funny if you look at the wording of that now if you look at the see who wrote that episode i don't know if he wrote no i didn't see no wrote it but i know that he was one of the writers on the show at that time it's paul mooney oh yeah better why but that was him dude watch how he delivers it

he goes first and he goes how you doing yon i like to uh ask the arresting officer a couple of questions and the arresting the judge says well who are you are you his counsel and he goes yes i've been his counsel how long have you been his counsel for all his life all right he may proceed he walks up to the guy first and he says what do you have against black people and the judge says uh incorrect or whatever the fuck he says uh what is the objection objection and he goes uh he doesn't have anything against black people i'm black i'm and he goes yeah but you the judge and he goes can i ask the arresting officer a couple more questions and that's when he walks up to me he goes what do you have against black people he goes i don't know anything against

black people he goes don't do you wrestle he goes do you arrest any white people right he goes yes i do them what the hell are they take a look around you know all these n words in here there's no n words in here to make a tazen movie god that was television in 1975 could never do that today but watch how he said it he said black first and then he set it up with and that's that's paul mooney all the way genius writing paul mooney could go with the from black to the n word back to black back to the fucking you know yep 22 niggas back to black i mean you know he was a genius of that why cut that out you know that could never happen again today but that's not the point of it the point of it was the writing the structure of it you know performing is one thing now you have to

learn the active structure yes which some people have naturally some people know how to structure amazing i never knew how to structure right right i never had segues oh god i had to learn that i had to learn that i have great segues i saw i would just tell the joke and then go do another one comics that would blow off the stage early on that would call me mr no segue but who's getting laughs who's getting lied doesn't matter fucking yeah man why you're there focused on the fucking it's so weird how uh my netflix special came out today i can't wait to see that there the only knock that i have against the special i think netflix did a great job yeah jeb thompson was on the show whatever is that i focused too much on the words okay yeah sure

sure you know if i have to look back at it now and see what the only knock i have is my own shortcomings i focused too much on the verbiage that didn't focus on my heart which i have sometimes how you learn all these things that you experience you know it's like when you do a tv show and you have to learn the words you can rehearse the words 20 times and all of a sudden you'll feel it or go through you and now you correct the line yeah the perfect way for both of my special seesaw in fact and the seesaw i corrected it yeah on the seesaw the first show i focused too much on the script and i ate a bag of dicks you have a second show yeah an off script and i did right a lot better than right first show you know it's just so weird that this netflix special that's the

only knock i have i think i did great lee likes it yeah my agent likes it you know i just think that i focused too much on the words and that's what fouled me up a little bit but i'm like max holloway and uh the other guy i got a lot better i learned so much from it you ever you're gonna you're gonna laugh at me for making it about this but do you ever hear the the empire strikes back story the best line in any star wars movie right is Han Solo Harrison Ford's about to get frozen the capture room it's in part two right and everybody thinks he's gonna die and finally princess leah just says i love you and in the script Harrison Ford says i love you too he did 20 takes and he hated it it wasn't working and he told just please let me do this and so she goes i

love you and he goes i know and that that's the most memorable moment next to Darth Vader saying i'm your father right and he because he went off script followed us you know he went no this is what this is what this is what my heart's telling me this guy should fucking say made him the coolest fucking character in movie history you know what i mean just the mode the guy's facing death he doesn't even say i love you too because i know and then boom that was it but that is how fucking badass that was and that's i i get so scared of that too because before i tape any kind of cd or special i recite it over and over and over again but i i try to like make sure that i have all the beats down but i also leave room in my head in case i want to take a quick little detour it's okay

that's you have to tell yourself right like it's okay because it's your script you know what i mean you're nobody else wrote this we wrote it so if i wanted to go off it fuck it it's mine i can go off it right like that's how you gotta look at it like it's still tough though because you know when you're head you think oh this is the perfect way i gotta do it like that you know but yeah like it's fuck man it's your own organic thing you fucking do what you want with it right like but it's tough because i know man i get you get into that trap of like oh fuck i have to do it this way and that's it and then i think every comic should leave a little bit of room you know what i mean just a little bit of room to go off and just let's go here now let's go and that's what

i felt i didn't do yeah yeah you're right you're absolutely right you have to have a little bit you look at commie from such an obscure way sometime especially when you think the stakes around the line you think differently and that's what i learned i mean netflix was great yeah shooting of it was great sure jeff tomstick was great the stat everything the hotel i just i think the special was great i think i think the old guys enjoy it yeah i just think that uh that's what was missing a little bit and i think if you see me now you'll see that i picked that that part up right wow right that's not gonna happen again i'm not gonna worry too much on this shit you know i'm saying it's just very weird jerry that i've grown up with a bunch of people i've shared a

quarter of my life with a bunch of people in this game and you're one of them i mean when i met you were a kid and you know for a couple weeks i've been wanting to put you on you know just to let you know that you're a fucking grinder yeah that means a lot man right there i mean grinders i'm a grinder yeah i'm a grinder and i love it we would we i remember it i don't want to name names i breathe i don't want my name names but god do you remember those comics that you and i you would call me sometimes i'll never forget this you call me at like one in the morning and you be hey go to so-and-so's website right and we'd both be reading the bio and just howling remember that we hit this these cheese balls and we feel like these motherfuckers don't put any work in they just do

the same shit over and over and over and over and over they think they haven't made i'll never forget i was uh in bart's room and i look i'll be cool i'm not gonna say any you know who it was i'm not gonna say who it was but i told you the story the headliner that i was working with was on the phone back when trey was an addison and he was talking to trey and he goes man fuck those la people they they would they want to come find me they know where i'm at and i remember you call you were dying i told you that story i called you from the condo and that guy was asleep and i'm like joe you're not gonna believe you're not gonna believe what i just heard and you we were howling and you were like look nobody's gonna go fucking over there to find this dumb motherfucker you know like oh my god we

would do that all the fucking time you know one of the hardest things in comedy is in the beginning you work with a lot of junk you work with all that and when i say junk it's it's i shouldn't even say that you work with uh you work with people who have been beat up by this business yeah yes you work with people that i i can't say that i'm not saying that i didn't put the work in but maybe somewhere they cut a piece out and they came to la and they had zero success in la and now they have to live in la so they have to take these weird rooms to pay their rent and i mean they would tell me like i'm paying my lease till you know you work with these guys in october and their lease is over in december yep and they were miserable and all they would do is talk about

how awful la is horrible la what you just got to be an ass kisser that's the only way you make it fuck off you have to suck dick yes gay you don't know how many times i heard you had to be gay you had to be gay i've heard that but oh yeah don't go out there don't go out there then there's a level of it people that exist that you cannot believe like you're an excited guy you walk into a place you're so excited you don't give a fuck you don't see it for what it is yeah it's a fucking dive bar but do you carnegie hall it's carnegie hall yes and you walk in as a feature act you get your hotel there's two hindus behind the desk you know the family lives there you can smell the hindu food i still might as well be at the rich carlton right oh man you go into the room you call there's

a channel that has dirty movies but the guy has to switch to vhs and sometimes he's jerking off and he goes into a trend and he forgets to switch it i mean the hotels that you did this was way before free breakfast this is way before they gave you a hardball bag and white bread right oh yeah you got nothing for breakfast you know do you remember you're you're seeing those hotels i know you have i know you have we probably talked about this before we're like the gig the club puts you in a hotel and the room next to your room is a pimp's room and he's just having chicks go turn tricks in that room all fucking night and you can just hear it you can just like oh shit that's i mean it is crazy the fucking places we used to stay in i came to like that was tucson

tucson that condo no the hotel oh yeah in town that rudy used to put you up when you played the club bugsy's right and if you showed up with a bug diligent for free you know people understand these things to you are like especially when you get a flyer oh man with your name on it's heaven man and you're performing on a wednesday night in some fucking place and you get there and it's like i still remember mark babbitt god right now he's still alive yep that was it babbitt yes put me freddy and maybe bobby lee in a barn it was a barn it was like melvin's comedy corner and they only did one show a month and they threw the cattle out that night that day yeah they swept up the hay it sat 500 people and everybody from

the town was there oh man i think he paid me 400 dollars that ain't bad and uh no plane ticket right and in those days i would take the i would buy a plane ticket to houston that connected in san antonio and they jump off the plane in san antonio and take the bus to corpus because it was a lot cheaper i mean you had to pull tremendous scams oh fuck yeah that was the scam and then i would go to the airport in san antonio this is before 9 11 and they would go what are you talking about you had to get on the plane in houston you're like i missed it so i drove here and i will let you on this time but don't let that happen again you don't know how many times i did that because the direct flight to san antonio was a lot of money way more expensive but if you went

to houston it was 200 dollars cheaper yeah and it connected to san antonio this is way before 9 11 you can't do this now don't throw you in jail don't throw you in fucking jail when i first moved out here i uh i didn't tell any trey knew who used to run addison and randy butler knew right because they kind of you know they were nice because yeah but but the clubs in houston austin san antonio i didn't tell them i moved i was just there were times where they called me hey can you come feature tomorrow and i did it i packed my shit and i drove from la to houston in one sitting made it in time to take a small nap try to recharge and then go do this show you know i did that a bunch man la to houston yeah i did that i did that twice that's 24 hours i did it twice went i did it one time it

was boy you feel it right remember like but dude but i did two times the first time but a bunch of times i would just like i did they would give me a little bit of advance notice so i would like get a hotel i would go halfway but a bunch of times i would do that go halfway and they didn't i didn't tell them i'd live because i that was a lot of work they would give me when i lived in texas that trip you start off in la yeah and the first stop is tempi yep you take your legs out you fill up the tank take a piss take a piss get a fucking sandwich and then your next spot is opasso opasso or if you're for if you have enough maybe you get the van horn van horn right but you got to fill up you got to fill up an opasso if you ain't going to make it the van horn up an opasso

there's shit there's shit fuck there's nothing shit you better be filled up an opasso man you better be tip top magoo you better your batteries better be yes if you're tired just try the night opasso on the free because that the rest of it is that the rest of it that's the real test that's the real test that's cactuses for four hours no gas station no radio god forbid it's in the summertime during the day oh there was the radio which shut off it's 800 it's a hundred plus outside humid and you're fucking like oh oh god it was man Jesus i remember those things yeah you had no radio to listen to so that's i there's no radio out there jack i would make uh i would burn yeah i would burn my own mixies and save them for that trip for that part of the trip i like all right

put in my own music and fuck you just oh my god what's the longest that you drove that was it the had to have been la oh fuck yeah i said the worst though was one time the guy who owned the ha in in new york he had sweet carolines it was a room in virginia beach and i he he would you go headline there right every now and again it was always great but one time after it already left new york i was still in texas before i came out here uh and i was i was he goes hey can you i had a guy fall out i know you're in texas i'll give you a couple extra hundred bucks you i'll give you a couple days notice right you can come out here and i was like fuck i drove headline that room and as i was headlining i was closing it out fuck i forgot when it was but he had me stay

a cut because it was like a seven night a week room right and he had me he had me stay until like tuesday i forgot why but i think that a guy backed out so i was there till tuesday i did the week and i was there till tuesday the next week and then he calls me jeff jones calls me in little rock goes hey you want to come in middle and i'm like fuck i can make it and so i was in virginia beach and i and i was trying to nap in the club i was trying to nap in the in the club before i left and this local comet kept bouncing jokes off of me like and i was too nice to tell him to go fuck off and he kept waking me up to tell me hey what do you think maybe i should say this instead and i'm like yeah that's great man i was like trying to nap and then so i was already a zombie

and i get in my car after the late show tuesday and i'm dragged to the show and i'm driving to little rock and i may i don't know how i made it the last i have no memory of the last two hours of the trip no memory i was like oh fuck i don't know how i got here but i made it like it was crazy but the longest that was about 20 maybe something like that but the longest was houston to la for sure in one sitting fuck man that was crazy i've done la to dallas too in one sitting i've done colorado to detroit oh and colorado to baltimore oh that was probably my longest that's gotta be what close to 30 colorado to baltimore right baltimore one time yeah it would stop in michigan yeah through the weekend in michigan and drive back to colorado that was the longest and then the

longest in the car that i was had to be eight months yeah in a car like at one shot yeah then the second time the last time i did it was like six months or something something not natural right yeah like you know what it's time to get out of the fucking car because it's fun at first it is oh it's great it's a great journey it's a great way to learn it's a great place to see the country you see a lot of right a lot of material you write so much material just being around these and then but it's like going to summer camp for standout yeah that's exactly what it is you've committed six months of your life to summer camp for standout but once you take a plane there's no planes really there's no planes you know that there's no planes there's really no planes

it's buses or i've done amtrak grayhound and drive moan car yeah back then fuck yeah i couldn't afford now no you can't fly now as a feature actor there's no way you can't no yeah that most most of these clubs don't want to put up a feature nope because they got 40 people they got 40 people in town who can do it so now you go into a town you gotta pay for your own hotel and you take that difference and it's listen man as what pisses me off is the people who think they're gonna do it and make money you have to go into comedy by thinking i'm not gonna make a dime and if i tell you what the secret is it's the real secret that it really is somebody told me this and this is we'll end on this it's punching it yeah yeah you know everything you do for the first 10 years you're punching it

the more you punch in the more money you'll make down the road but you gotta keep punching it and you can't care in that card punching that card yep and you know what this week should break even but you're working you're doing you have to look at it that you're doing what you didn't want to do this beats me being blah blah this beats me being blah blah at least i can prove to my mom that i stayed on i made it one more fuck yeah fuck yeah it's it's just this uh this really weird feeling and that's why i had i admire grinders brother and uh i see that you're doing a cd and i want to celebrate it thank you man i want to let people know thank you that you're doing this just Thursday at the ice house means a lot and that you're one of the guys that i've seen grow you're

not a fucking pussy you've never been a pussy thanks man you've gone through hell you've had management and fucking stroke jobs and you know people sign you and then i mean you've gone through it all yeah and you're still here and you're that one content from just taking over the world you don't even know it so thanks man i really appreciate you coming on and i appreciate this i really appreciate our 20 year friendship and how you know bro you've never called me complaining you've always called with questions oh because i love your advice you've always called with advice and i hope i never bothered we've always come to a conclusion yep i've always told you my advice but then we make a conclusion of what works yep you know if i don't have the answer i'll call

somebody who does i have heard the situation before from somebody sure we know i'm going i get a call from somebody hey we they want to book in uh laredo texas hold on one second let me call you back yeah what do you think of this guy don't do it right because it fucking pays with right it's just it's just this is what part of this business is it's having allies that there's no animosity between you right and me in fact i was talking about one of the real jokes and comedy is you you know the white people eating mexican for the jingle bells the racist uncle the racist uncle yeah man thanks that has always been one of my favorite bits thank you so much man and i just want uh people to know he's doing the show at what time it's two seven thirty and nine thirty

listen man if you're doing me have you ever did me a favor do me this favor this kid's a real fucking star thank you when i tell you that there's comics up there that you know for some reason or another comedy central doesn't talk to him so you guys don't put no verification on and if you've learned anything through these podcasts look at what you've learned that there was a lot more comics out there that meets the eye that you guys never would have known about without these stupid podcasts if you're in the la area Thursday night please go down and support my main man la rocha thank you fucking uh tape a cd and uh i'm sure leo go up there and applaud for you and jump up and down doing that better you know represent the church with

his shirt on and do bang it fuck yeah dude i love you man thank you and i gotta tell you you you kept me going i never told you this story but this is a perfect time one yes when i get you ever gotten discouraged one of the nights i was really discouraged man i think i got dumped i'm on the road she you know the girl calls me and dumps me when i'm on the road i think i might have been i was in Tulsa so i called you i was almost crying and i was just like man i just hope i'm doing the right thing i remember telling you that i said i hope i'm doing the right thing and you quoted the beginning of apocalypse now and he goes let me tell you something because everybody out here is getting soft because you're in the weeds getting

stronger never forget that never forget and that kept me going bro that was like fuck that was so i needed that i needed that and it really it just i can't thank you enough for that all of you remember that night yeah i remember you told me you said you're out in the you're you're you're fucking remember that line that he says in the beginning i'm just here getting soft charlie's getting stronger in the weeds he's out in the weeds getting stronger i always knew all those years i was sacrificing yeah in a fucking bus station waiting four hours in the middle of the night you know i have eight thousand in your pocket you gotta shop with an old fucking hot dog yeah you always have at least that going through yeah that you're in the bush

and being in the bush there's people that live here right now that are not in the bush and they've been here for years they're not in the bush they don't know how to get in the bush and don't never get on the bush because they don't think that way it also breaks your heart when you see those dudes who were the who were the king of the mountains in whatever town they came from and they come out here expecting the same thing and they can't handle when they get that punch right you know i'm talking about oh please it's it's it's like those fighters who have never taken a punch and all of a sudden they're in the ring and they're being cute and they get whacked and they're like oh fuck i got punched 52 times fuck yeah fuck yeah 52 times and kicked oh and

fucking stomped on and fucking lied to and the whole thing and you know what i'm happy i did fuck yeah i'm happy i did because you know i see people and i think i was telling uh i went to cleveland with george peres and me and george at one point we're talking about all the people that came and went that had more talent oh my god i could tell you people who came and went that were brilliant writers or a way of performing and they just didn't cut the main thing was perseverance yep they didn't have the main thing to stick out of you was just a little perseverance and that's it you have to wait around if you give it enough time you wait for the miracle to happen yeah it'll fucking happen yes and it's your own personal miracle it may not be

being lewis c k and selling our state right now it may not be being kevin heart right but it's your own fucking private idol and you created it and you're happy with it and content and you stay within your bounds and you don't make believe your joey bananas right and you're not a premier smoking cigars i love it i love going under the radar listen november first yep 739 30 at the ice house and do not forget uncle joey next week new york comedy festival got them thursday's sold out saturday late sold out you got three shows to fucking choose from and then the week after the night before thanksgiving i'm an Irvine that's all you need to know i want to thank jerry la rocha thank you man for coming on this show my man i love it thank you

brother stay black all right i want to thank my man jerry roca i want to thank my man the christ killer and i want to thank you guys for listening don't forget the church is brought to you by my book let me tell you something watching football is fun watching sports and fun even the world series was tremendous but you guys heard me talk about this for weeks and some of years are still waiting there we are your pockets all empty because you're not making no dough dough no dough ray me that's why whether you're an expert or a rookie you need to be betting at my bookie if you're the kind of guy likes to bet a little and win a lot like playing numbers on a roulette you create a huge big parley on my bookie you pick three teams to win all three of them come in you can turn a hundred dollars

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bet my bookie on twitter or instagram they personally respond to every mention and every direct message not to mention they've given away nearly 10 000 in free money to their followers this football season so you'll be the first to know as soon as new odds and props are posted now do me a favor log on to my bookie right now and don't miss out on the last opportunity to collect the industry's biggest bonus use promo code church chur ch and you'll get your first deposit matched at 100 that's right 100 that's right 100 that's promo code church chur ch my bookie you play you win you get paid i love you motherfuckers don't forget new york city next weekend thursday sold out all you got is friday and uh ervine the night before thanksgiving with my man

lee sciat will be down there with me all right have a great tuesday enjoy the special thank you for support me without you guys i wouldn't even have this fucking thing so thank you very much and have a great day stay black i want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart some somebody twice as smart as i i for somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me

who'll leave you to learn that misery loves company wait and see i mean i want to be around to see how he does it when he breaks your heart to bits let's see if the puzzle fits so and that's when i'll discover that revenge is sweet as i sit there applauding from a front row seat when somebody breaks your heart like you like you