Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #632 - Felicia Michaels

Episode Date: November 5, 2018

Felicia Michaels, comedian, photographer and co-host of "The Liars Club" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/muffler for 10% off of your portable bidet order.   23andme.com - 23andMe is a DNA testing service that can offer you insights on to how your DNA can influence your weight, sleep quality and much more. Order your 23andMe health and ancestry kit at 23andMe.com/church    ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church Recorded live on 11/04/2018.
  

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TLC for you motherfuckers early morning. It's a beautiful day to be alive Oh shit Here we go reaping with a capon Slinging dick in the middle of the night the shit. This is this jazz about right here. It's all over Your home you got your pajamas on But mama calls you know saying you got to put on your little fucking cologne pop of the nuts Take the ride down to four or five

Show bar 215 and show who the borscht is what kick it Lee Yes It's the church bitches Monday morning, let's break this right the fuck up first off as you and I both know Felicia Michaels Yes, welcome to the show. Thank you that as a veteran comic of 20 years 50% of This comedy journey is not the hard work you put on stage It's the relationships outside of comedy and the adversities that present themselves. That's what makes you a good comic That's what makes you a good plumber. That's what makes you a good roofer. That's what makes you a good mechanic

It's to after 20 years, you know your crap so much that what's a pain in the ass for somebody else you figure it out That's what makes you good, but in this comedy journey the craziness is the first 10 years and The stick that has to be removed out of your ass for you to become a Successful comedian right because you have to go into areas that you never dreamed of going to

to get a laugh you never dreamed of You know that story you told me about sleeping at Dennis Leary's with the window broken Coming through the window, you have to do things that are opposite Your comfort zone all together Absolutely the point where you get creeped to fuck out you and I had a conversation before About the comedy store last year at this time Every time I go to the comedy store get carsick And then when I get to the comedy store, I have tons of anxiety

because I knew Mitzi and This is gonna be in her and I told broken and I've been telling everybody ten years from now Like these idiots talk about Stanislavsky and this guy There's gonna be a Mitzi short comedy guideline book that every comic is gonna add one line to that committee said to them one night On the way in and how it applied to them. That's the book, you know, that's the book right and it was so weird The comedy store original room for me to get a laugh in there how I want them to laugh I have to go so far out of my comfort zone that disturbs me So I figured out after going back to the notebooks at night and reading

You know because when I get home at night to decompress I write for a page I forced myself to write a page. Sometimes it's two pages And I read the discomfort in my notes and it was that I was being such a pussy Because I knew when you go to the comic so you got to go all in you got to go all in, right? You got to fake the funk when you got you have no cards in your corner And you got ten million you got to push that ten million in go on man and fake and hopefully the guy folds and look at you You fold it. That's what it's like. Well, I remember when I was first at the comedy store I think I became a regular in 1985 or 86 and prior used to come in and he would go in on a Tuesday night and

He would be so fucking terrible because he's trying all new stuff But as a new comic watching it and people would walk out It would be so fucking terrible and you'd literally be like this is the great prior But just by being fortunate enough to be at the comedy store and to see Tuesday night then go back Wednesday night and see him do the same material but tighten it up And so it's not as bad then go Thursday but just to see the process of what prior did to get something ready and that he had to emotionally dig himself some big Fucked up hole all the time to get to that, you know show on Friday night where it was fucking smooth as butter

You know what I mean? Like it was a process that it that he did and to be able to see someone like him do it It it gives you comfort, you know what I mean? And I think I when you're speaking about the bet the half of the part of comedy that's not just working on your act It is hanging out with other people and seeing what other people are struggling with or seeing how other people are doing it And sometimes you're not even ready to do it like when I left comedy and came back I took a class joke writing class with Gabe Abelson. I fucking flappers, right? Just because I was like, oh, I knew you know my jokes are kind of sloppy whatever and It changed my life because he was like a the head writer at Letterman for like 10 years

But just but to learn their like real structure of how to write a joke I don't necessarily do that all the time But it totally changed my act and it took how long to fucking be able to be open enough to listen to someone else Give advice, you know, but that's all the process of it and the friendships you make You know what I mean to think the people you started out with how you fucking hated them or you had some stupid ass beef That 20 years later those people are gonna be the people that lift give you a hand to lift you up Or you know what I mean say something's so kind when you thought they were being a piece of shit and it was totally Your you know yourself projecting but all of that learning all of that

Poor Lee has to go through it now. I learned a lot this week, you know Again, I want to thank you people who watched the special and the generits and supported me. It's really weird The reaction I've gotten from people like I had a long conversation with Neil Brennan and I Pulled him aside and told him that you know between him and John Mulaney That's what you aspire to be as a comic, you know real precise joke writers And whenever I go out of my company zone, sometimes I try to be like those guys and they eat a bag of dicks, you know And I told him that I go if I wrote like you and then the other flip side He goes if I could perform like you then I take the fucking you know I'm saying so

Everybody has holes in their game. Everybody, you know, bring something different to it bring something different to the table But it's so weird how We were just laughing about something. No Lee just said something and how Lee is in for the journey of his life because Lee's very in Lee's very in you know, and he asked and he doesn't know that To fully emerge yourself in the world of comedy it's

You go against You believe sometimes You go against that stuff you learned when you went to Israel Little things that you keep sacred. You're gonna have to put aside. If not, you're not gonna grow as a comic Things that you know might not like to do things that it's It's so weird how that part of the journey makes you also Like it's it makes you also do you see I'm saying Well, you have to live your life in order to report on your life

Yes, like sometimes with comedy you can get so anal and so into it and so I just want to do this that you put Your personal life to the side But you have to live your life. I Mean I hate to be lame like that, but there you go. I didn't live a life for 10 years. I just thought about comedy But I also was doing drugs and whatever, you know My it's my goal was this to do, you know a couple sets a night and after that one set That's when the party starts, right and it was ever there. That's where you go home with you know, whatever you wake up in The morning and say I gotta go and nobody knows about the next day and you know, it's weird. It's a weird

thing in the beginning, you know like how Just you you live your life like a nomad a lot of people can't live their life like nomads They need structure, but I always had structure as a nomad Like that's the thing if you're gonna be a nomad You still have to have structure. Mm-hmm. I forced myself to have structure when I was a nomad and then when I first Got to the store my structure was two phases. It was cocaine and comedy You hear you ever hear of M&M's C&C's that's it. That's all I thought about right how to score how to keep my rent paid

And how to do comedy every night. That was my focus, you know, and it's so I don't regret it at all I had a great fucking time If I had to do it all over again or work at a fucking something I didn't want to do, right? I take the same route all over again. I enjoyed sleeping in my car those three months. I Enjoyed sleeping on Ralphie's floor. Like if I could do it again, I'd do it again, right? You know, it was his comic that he was one of the first comics to have a CD out and he was horrible and One night he gave the CD to Ralphie and

At night we used to have a running joke. Everybody tied. Yeah, put in that comic CD And we'd all fall asleep to it like every night. Oh really? Yeah, we'd all fall asleep to the same CD right instead of somebody reading you a bedtime story Man, I slept rough last night that CD put us right to bed Like all those Jesus, but it isn't even like I still remember getting on stage with suits on That you wore suit. Oh cuz you still wear a suit all the time. You did that for three or four months I always got on stage with suits on four months. It lasted four months And out of the four months I went on stage probably let's say 16 times a month with the suit on four times a week

And I would bomb five times a week with a suit on. There was something about a suit that put a block on me and One day I said I'll never wear a suit again because I saw Lenny Clark wear a suit on Rodney danger field special Right, right, right, so I said I'm going to emulate him or a suit like him But it was so weird as soon as I took the suit off. I started getting laughs Interesting once I got down to the level of who I am because you can't put a silk hat on a pig Right and people read through I put a suit on well when I was younger and I and I know this sounds so dumb but when I used to wear high heels I would never have a good set because If I had like high heel in the day was like mini skirts and high heels

And it's just like because it it didn't feel grounded It felt like you're out to fuck You know what I mean like and and people wouldn't buy it and I didn't feel and I think cuz I didn't feel comfortable in it But as soon as I didn't care then it Got better. You know what I mean? It's funny because you don't know when you're starting out You know how to go about it how to figure it out. I Want a person to feel comfortable on stage like when I see a woman with heels on stage. It's tough right now I was staying there. I

Feel it when I'm looking at her I'm saying to myself. I wonder what she's got in her feet moving around like that fucking you pull Madonna There's all those bitches that fall on one fucking time They're all falling I would hate to see a comic fucking fall like that But I couldn't imagine going yeah, I like to be grounded also, right? I like sneakers up on stage. No flip-flops. No nothing. No shorts Jeans t-shirt. No big patterns. No if you're up front, right? You got to wear a college shirt if you the MC right Margaret show told me you always have to wear one fucked up thing

One stupid thing a scarf. Yeah, something done. Yeah, so you know, it's so weird I've had the same hairdos since I was a kid like everything's the same. You're the same hairdos since you were a kid Was your hair always grease back Well before Greece it just went up in the air, right? Okay, you know, I just combed it And it would just go up in the air from the humidity and then I started putting grease in my hair I'm with the like boulder or something Once he admitted he was gone. I just had to calm it down. So This is saying fucking had to like there's no chains

There's been no evolution in my dude. Did you do a mullet? Did you ever do a mullet all the time? Oh, you did a mullet. I still have like a half a mullet. I mean the guys like really I go. Yeah, leave the length Just cut off the bushes It's not my fucking ears look like, you know, like they're fucking targets If you don't leave a little bush in the back fucking targets So, what are you gonna do? No, I don't believe in that whole Dress up calmly. I want you to be up there yourself when I see somebody dressing up to do comedy

Right, it kind of bothers me a little bit. There's some people who doesn't bother me. What John Mulaney doesn't he know? He'd be like, yeah, he looks good. I like but he looks comfortable in it I like what he would wear to the grocery store. I like the tiny girl when she wears furs and gloves on stage Yeah, she looks nice when she dresses Yeah, I like all that shit. She she's you know, yeah, some people are meant to sell it Some people are faking the funk, you know, and that's it once I see Anything in the comics armor that fakes the funk. Yeah, I can't pay attention to and that's really hard to be Who you are at that level? I don't know. It's just weird, you know

It's like when I don't know I don't want to get myself in the hole here No, but you don't even like prop comics like I'm right, right, but you don't see prop comics normal, right? You know, I know remember when that was a thing. It's crazy, right? You see a lot of musical comedy no more. Yeah, well, sometimes you see still guitar comedy Here and there but not like it was besides Sarah so many. Yeah Who else? Yeah, who else plays the guitar anymore the one guy that you there's a couple girls that do Esther coup sometimes does she find it the ukulele. Yeah, sometimes every great once in a while. I haven't seen her do it in a while though Haven't seen us to cool period. I hit her up on Twitter. Yeah. Is she in town? She's been around. Yeah. Yeah, she's so funny

But I see you're getting spots. I'm starting to get spots again at the comedy star Let's start from the beginning of this. This is really weird years ago You came to me when said hey, you said that fucking miss it. I've told you that You weren't gonna get spots at the store no more He who shall not be named Yeah, cuz I had quit comedy for a while and then I went back and I had was hanging out a little bit and I was like, hey, so You know, do I come on Mondays and try to get on friends and family and well, like how do I go about this? And he looked at me and he was just like we don't book any of the old guys here

But it made me laugh because it was like that's fucking bold bitch I was like, all right. I'm gonna I wasn't even a regular. I was a regular at the store, but I wasn't going to the store Right. You told me that I was like This guy has gone fucking crazy, you know, why did you stop going to the store? I stopped going to the store because of I Stopped going to the store because of a lot of reasons Mm-hmm. I got the surgery on my neck and they took the fat ball out and the fat ball as soon as I saw it look like a ball of hate and just you know

And the Cubans are very superstitious. They call it my deal It was just a lot of reasons. I had done my tenure there, right, right? You have to know in life when you I Never want to be kicked out. I want to walk on my own two feet. Yeah, okay. So yeah at that time I saw the guard changing a little bit Mitzi started getting old I Had already been there like I said since 97 maybe and it was 2006 and I just noticed little things. I heard little sayings People would say things to me about Rogan

In a negative way, but trying to be cute off-handed And Tommy was one of the first people that ever came up to me while Rogan was on tour with Eddie Murphy's brother and John Heffron and Tom Segura and those guys Joe has gone for a long period of time and I was up there one Thursday night or something And him and another guy that remained unnamed came up to me and they're like, where's your buddy tonight? Like trying to like like him when you're in high school like Like where's your where's your butt buddy like Rogan? He's on tour and he goes, I ain't take it You know like they were like busting my balls and they said just to let you know

When he comes back things are gonna change around here. He's not gonna be able to do 45 minutes and stuff. I Don't know forget that I did my spot. I got my car and I went home at the time Terry didn't work in or more So I wouldn't have caused the beef for the family or nothing So I just went home made a mental note And when I came down from the drugs the next day, I saw it wasn't a mental note. I Saw that it was a declaration of war in My fucking paranoid cocaine mind and then I had not done anything about it

If that was me 20 years early, I would have banged both their fucking heads together But I was so addicted to the coke and my my brain was so gone at the time But I didn't know what they were saying to me Mm-hmm, you know, there was like they were threatening me like in a cute way like two buddies 20 years ago with a sidekick one guy and hit the other guy in the head with a bottle and just drove away But my addiction calmed me down like I was like, I'm not gonna do nothing I'm just like, oh, but right down in there. I go, you know what? before I end up in jail

Before this goes down I'm just gonna stop going up there Something I go first of all how fortunate of my that Mitzi sure picked me to be a regular. That's number one I'm way ahead of me And for the last seven years she's been giving me spots. So if you start in What's the club? I like in the province the comedy connection. It's a great little club. It's each 250 If you walk in there on a fucking Sunday night do the open mic spot And then you do the open mic every night you put work in

After seven years, that'll be your home club. And by that time you'll be co-headlining the room and One day the owners and I come up to you and go Lee. I really like you. I Know that your your father's ill. I know that you take care of your mom But for this career to go anywhere, you got to get out of Providence. You got to move on So it's like a seven-year window that you have at a club before you And the thing is when you're at the comedy store, it's such a privilege to be there You know, it's a mind fucking its own way because it's you know

You're where you're trying to learn your your craft, right? And it's such a It's such an amazing thing to be there But if it's your home club at a certain point you have to fly like what you're saying and so we return to events because it happened Right around this time 11 years ago It happened in 2007 So I had the surgery that January and after that January boom Rogan gets to whatever There's a little drama at the store

I was a little upset Things weren't working out how they wanted at that time I did a big motion feature and nothing happened But the truth of the matter is my addiction was at an all-time high like I was going nuts Like I wasn't even hanging out with the people I was getting hooked with them. Well, I was way beyond that level I was doing three grams a night Six in the morning Terry to be waking up and I'd be going to bed type shit, you know that type shit And I had already known I'm like I got to get out of this store

Like I have to get out of the store. I remember that though The tour finished for Rogan and One night at the store Rogan put me up before him and when we got off I pulled him aside and I go Let's get this place a break cuz something's gonna go down down here And he goes, no, no, I don't know what you're talking about, you know and a Couple of weeks later was when the seed was planted for the cold Carlos Mincie So the whole Carlos Mincie a seed was planted in December. I was already pulling back

Mm-hmm. I had already known what was going on But something else happened that was interesting Marilyn Martinez died right her anniversary was yesterday 11 years So at that time I was clean from coke for like Seven or eight days. I don't know the exact amount because I was shooting a movie I booked the movie and the guy told me that he knew I was a fucking coke fiend That if I was gonna take the movie I had to stop doing blow because I was on fuck up the production schedule So that's why I quit doing blow Then I went up to the store and I blew up by Jeff Alves

and I Said that proves it that I don't need to be at the store no more That's the proof right there. I'm too old. I've lived this life already I've lived this life already. I know when I'm volatile, right? And I know and I don't belong somewhere and that night I know when I went home in the car I'm never going back up to the store. I called Brogan again about Five days later was when I got the call the seed getting planted for the whole Carlos thing. I didn't take the bite I Didn't take the bite so they had other people

They deployed other people to put blood into Joe and January of 2008 is when Joe went off on Carlos it was around that January after the Super Bowl commercial Carlos had a Super Bowl commercial So the tension started in December Now the new year people calm down people have new resolutions and shit now It's the Super Bowl and who's got the third commercial on slate Carlos been see it. Well, guess what? Everybody saw that and

The hatred came to a boil And maybe two weeks later their torture and over on stage at the company store and Then the week later Joe gets banned Yeah So I saw the heat coming I saw how they were gonna twist it around I got the first call to be the first fucking Judas, but I wouldn't buy it. I said no if Carlos is on stage I don't give a fuck if somebody's on stage. I don't give a fuck who's on stage and Carlos walks in Carlos gets the bump that person

That was how they called me They called me to ask me my opinion on what I thought about Carlos already riffing walking into the store and I said here's my rule my rule is I'm a Pion if I'm in the back of the room if I'm on stage and I see Paul Rodriguez Paul Mooney Richard Pryor At that time the guy who died Larry Sanders. What's his name Gary Shanley Gary Shanley used to come in He's coming there a lot Mo Mandel. What's the name? My we how we Mandel

Eddie Griffin Andrew Yack off Yack off Yack off had Missouri. He was running our senior our senior by that time Once in the Wayans could bump. Yes Damon Damon could bump that was an understanding So as soon as you saw them you were like fuck. Yes, like if you had 1145 you saw Damon And then if you saw Damon with the ten brothers You were doomed because that's it. They would do in a variety show. You're doomed your agent is there Median remember when he did yeah

Your spots of 1145 you have no addition to ten and Damon Wayans are walking with the whole family With the older brother the creator of in living color and the two younger brothers and you would just sit there and go oh my god, I'm dead and one night there was a kid that went on Keenan Ivory Wayans was on stage at the store and Thomas Ward said why don't you get off the stage? You and let some funny black dudes go up. He doesn't say it that way. He said it in a more rough way Yeah, he said it a little bit more rough way. He was black. He's allowed to say it

Okay, the words he was allowed to say and mitzi banned them for 30 days Oh, really? Yeah, because Keenan was up on stage and he was supposed to go up next You know people's fucking him after a while Being 1145 and getting bumped five nights in a row. Yeah, yeah, and your spots now at 12 38 And you got a rock of coke in your pocket burning a hole in your pocket. You got a chick that's ready to suck dick but you could leave You could leave you always had the option to leave and be a fucking mutt or you could stay and learn something Go in there get pissed off and watch this guy and then watch him die for 10 minutes

And then watch him turn the room around and you go wise. That's why he's a fucking star. Mm-hmm. That's What the brilliant thing was when you got bumped? I Used to get bumped all the time I used to go down there early on a Saturday and try to get that 845 spot Nobody would be there and I'd just be ready to walk up and Gary Shanley would walk Mother fucker. Well, you're gonna come down shit. There you are at 1130 and then dice would come in and he'd do an hour See at least now if you bump you're only allowed to bump by 20 minutes. Oh, really? Yeah, okay? You can't do they'd let you know right off the bat. Yeah, there's a very strict rule now

Yeah, when you see that light you got two minutes bitch So was Tommy the one that was in charge when that whole Carlos thing went down? Yes. Yeah, right? he was the one of the instigators in the To try to get another comic ahead. It was just a weird thing And it and it could only happen at the county store at that time It's such a fucking weird thing to call it but the talent coordinator was such a weird name for these people Because all they did was put in its ease, you know, I'm saying like I'm it's he was available

They would fax the list back and forth and it was in the town the position of talent coordinator could be a fucking blessing Or it could be a curse Lee, you don't know what it is to get tortured You don't know what it is to be the talent coordinator at the comedy store What people tell you you lost weight? You look great They start giving you spots in their rooms If they pay everybody else $50 they give you 75

You know the talent coordinator's is a rough position if you're a comedian. Yeah, yeah, it could eat you alive I saw it eat somebody alive. I saw it eat a couple people and it can eat you alive if you're not a comedian Because you still get that power For sure But then it's like how do you when you're in a position whatever job you're doing where someone could totally change your life But then you kind of like that person, but you don't want to kiss ass That's where I always get all fucked up. You know what I mean? Like how do I approach this person should I just usually just leave people be and then people think I'm not friendly

Because I feel like fuck everybody wants to suck their dick. Why why should I get on this? There's two rules to this. Yeah, there's two rules. Let's play them simple a Be yourself B Be funny, right. Yes. Yes. If you do those two rules. Yeah, you got no beef to nobody It's when you go out of that Thing there's people They're not slick

They're not slick. Well, wouldn't it be obvious if like someone like I imagine they're like it's like an entourage like if they're just like Like let's say I was the talent coordinator, but then they switch a lot So what if I got fired in there suddenly your talent coordinator and all those people are kissing up to you Like isn't it other people who just switch from person to person? brother listen We were talking about it when I went to Providence and Danny Kelly, you know, I love you and I'll tell the story I was Danny Kelly's roommate

when he was I I And I've told you some of the podcast before there's two things I observed early on The Josh Wolf development deal and the Danny Kelly situation I was very fortunate I Knew it existed in the world. I knew it existed in the world. I came from but I'm a fucking criminal I'm a criminal But I didn't know it existed in the comedy world And in the comedy world, it's worse than in the criminal world Because in the criminal world, I know where you stand. I

Know you're dangerous. I know you're a fucking thief. I know you cut your fucking drugs. I know you don't pay your bills I know if you carry a knife With these people, you don't really know where they stand. That's why Harvey guys like Harvey Weinstein were created Because you don't know where the fuck you stand with these guys the power goes to a different level You know, Harvey Weinstein in the beginning was a nice guy He would take a look at you maybe you know I'm saying towards the end if you read some of that stuff Right, it was just straight to the suck it and fucking you know I'm saying I mean he just got that powerful Well, I'm sure it's like every time moving the little line, you know

It's like me looking at me looking in the mirror and going I'm gonna meet Scarlet or whatever. I name is a lunch She's gonna suck my dick What like you have to be fucking crazy to be a guy like me and think that Scarlett Johansson's gonna suck your dick because He just invites you to that's a reality right because he just invites you to a hotel Yeah, like you think about how powerful he got in his mind how the power just ran the fuck away with right? So that's at every level in Hollywood now. We got less moonvests now. We have these these aren't bad guys These aren't guys that started out like this These are guys that got a powerful position handed to him and they figured out they had a fucking ace in their pocket at all times

Right, and you go in there with a dream. You don't want to go back to fucking Topeka, Kansas as a loser at least you know I'm saying so there's just so many Variables to this now we break it down the comedy When efforts got to the comic store with Scott day, he was a serious guy, and I was serious with him Zero kissed his ass zero kissed his ass. I asked him for advice He was my friend and I respected the hell out of him, and he's probably listening to this podcast right now But I he really was great at what he did he listened to Mitzi and him and Mitzi put together great lineups Then I thought they came and they went and I saw what the position did to some of the guys

Some of the guys abused women some you know, whatever happened happened, you know, whatever the fuck happened that But that's such a weird Spot to have I was a dad. I was Danny Kelly's roommate. Here. I was busting my Fucking you know Going on the road of Rogan a little bit doing spots at the store Following and Danny Kelly lived here in LA. Yes, and then me and the stripper broke up Okay, Danny Kelly from Washington from Seattle. Yeah, okay Danny Kelly and his girlfriend broke up and Danny Kelly lived Across the street from Rock and Roll Rouse. Okay, so I sat hotel right across the street

Mm-hmm and behind the printing place that were Josh Wolf lift to no Josh Wolf lived north Okay, towards course on this was in a building that had the jacuzzi in a pool So he had a one bedroom So he gave me the bedroom and he stayed in the living room And I just slept on my clothes and on a duffel bag Duffel bag was my pillow. There was no sleep at the machine then There was nothing. There was a blanket. I had a half a blanket But there was a calendar on the wall

And it was his calendar and I remember looking at that calendar and morning going how the fuck is he getting these gigs? And he just wasn't getting gigs. He was getting gigs and headlining. I mean, you know the Ventura Club before it was this club, right? There was a room in Orange County and how did he get them? He was a town coordinator at the school. Oh, I see what you're saying. Sure. We would call him You're the funniest guy in the world. Come on down. Come on down and Danny was a funny guy. You know, he was a great guy, right? And then one day Mitzi found out about some shit that was going down and she fired him I mean, he walked into work and his stuff was in a fucking box Right, and they said you're not even allowed to go upstairs

And he went home that afternoon He was a little cracked. He ate dinner and he had a spot at the improv in those days You know how hard it was to get a spot on a Monday night was the hottest night in Hollywood It was a freaky Monday, and it was their version of a black night and from 8 to 8 40 It was hot white acts with the comic at 8 40 being David Tal or Pablo Francisco, and then after that just went black He was getting spots there, which is a huge right in those days So he gets fired from the fucking comedy coordinator's job on a Monday He heads to the improv nobody really knows he got fired yet

He goes on stage. He does his first job and the power goes on the building The whole building went down And he stayed up there for a few minutes with a lighter But he knew like God had sent them He got home within two days you would see the slashes in the calendar Canceled work right. Oh, we're not doing that gig anymore And I'm the man going I lost three more gigs today. I lost four more gigs say and I saw a decline of a man that How creepy this town is when they want something right, you know

So right there I learned my biggest lesson that they always come dressed as whatever And they always come their wolves dressed in sheep's clothing, right? I mean he was getting gigs that people were dreaming of like local gigs and pay the thousand bucks In those days a thousand bucks. I suck your dick for thousand Thousand fucking bucks. Are you crazy? right Wow Wow, that's a why I think the biggest lesson though like when you're starting out is

You have to have your fingers in a couple different bowls. Don't you think you can't like I see I've seen a lot in my Time in comedy where people who have stuck only with one person and have never ventured out that that sometimes is not good too either You know what I mean? What do you mean venture out just like You know like they'll only do Gigs in one club or they'll only you know, I mean they won't hang out with different types of comics They only hang out with their group because you know people always go in their group, right? There's you Rogan group, right? There's like chick comedy group. There's you know, all sorts of different groups and but The best thing that I have been happy about in my career is I've been able to hop around in a lot of different groups

Because I think it's important because it makes you grow like I go You You know, I'm friends with a lot of comics. I see him. I give him a big hug. I'm happy for the success We're still in this fucking thing. I know living in this fucking town. You know, we're fortunate. There's all that stuff but there's also the The thing like I was telling you at the house before what I know is good for me, you know After I shot the Netflix special. I saw 10 million holes in my game I really did it's to wear this thing. You're saying after you shot it, but I hadn't seen the finished product before I saw

Yeah, I knew I had a thing had holes in my game And I thought about it for a week And I read some of my writings that I had written at night and I figured out where the trigger was See because I write instead of paying for a fucking psychiatrist. I just write on paper and I read it back weeks later And I just had fear fear was starting to come back in my life fear going to the store Not fear of following people nothing that stuff just fear Like and I got lazy I'd rather go to this club or this club or this club and you're sitting in the back and you ask yourself

What the fuck am I doing here? I could be at the comedy store and I'm sitting here with a fucking bringer show or this shit And that's where I I ventured out and I didn't like the results So for me to be the animal that I need to be I Need to be in the original room Once or twice a week as a tune-up and

Then the main room like once or twice a week like this week. I did five spots That's my weekly goal if I don't go on the right right pop to Tuesday Two Thursday and maybe one on Saturday Can I ask you when you shot your Netflix one because I know you had said to me that you weren't that happy with it Right after you shot it What were the what were the three top holes that you because when you were telling me that I I couldn't even believe it Because I just know you as a performer. What did you feel like? Were the holes the holes were you?

Hole number one. I stuck I depended too much on the material You never depend on your material you material depends on you that was the first fucking hole in my game You never depend on your material you the material depends on you and then if you see an opening you attack it I was playing my game too safe. I'm an attacker. I Have to attack. I have to agitate and then go into the kill If not, I'm not gonna rattle you. I forgot all those skills And those are the skills you pick up at the fucking comedy store when you follow Paul Mooney at 1245 Yeah, I always tell comics the biggest gift is when you show up and you have to abandon your material

You just wrote eight minutes on the most brilliant the documentary you see But the guy in front of you is doing that same documentary Right, you gotta there's nothing like bailing on your material and finding the strength that you have Sometimes you have to believe in our material that much we have super fucking strengths that we forget to use And I forget to use but the original room is such a different animal like I've been doing a lot of late-night spots And when you go up how many people in the room? It's all it all varies. It can be like 20 or it can be you know 40

And it's mostly they're scattered. It's mostly which is completely different guys. It's mostly completely different Yes, yes, so that's a different type of attack Yeah, that's a different type of attack because you got to attack at the two o'clock at 12 o'clock, right at 10 o'clock So you got to keep attacking and taking little steps and then sometimes you have to actually go from two o'clock To ten o'clock. It's a tremendous Right body movement and they're all over the place and some of those people have been there since the beginning and Then you know, they've heard every variation of every, you know person ever and But then and it goes in and out

Like I was there for Halloween and I felt like I lived three different lifetimes waiting for my spot I'm like I had three nights and one at the company store on Halloween And I went up to like 115, you know and But it's the you can your with the original room you can never plan what you're gonna do You can never plan what you're gonna do. You go. That's why yeah, yeah, yeah If I ever get any other type of special again six weeks prior. I'm just doing Four nights of midnight Right four nights put me up at midnight

When if you really like Joey Diaz, you gotta hang out which you're not gonna hang out right Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday Have you watched your whole special? No, no, no Have you watched any of it couple minutes? It's really good Joey, I'm too embarrassed No, so I just turned off because I don't want to watch it because not yet I'm not ready for it yet. I'll be ready for the venture. I'm not watching. I'm not ready for it yet Let the toll, you know Do you think you were projecting a lot of?

Negativity on it because you were in a vulnerable space when you shot it Cuz I recently did a gig at the writers Guild and Like bill Burr was on it. I either Rodriguez was on like all these comics were on it And I was so nervous because it was in front of all the writers at the writers Guild and I was second one on I had to follow Yang what's that gentleman's a Crazy rich Asians. Oh, yeah, anyway Sorry, I can't remember his name, but I was so nervous and I went up and I did my thing But I was a little bit too precious, but I did solid I did solid

But it's when you're it's when you are so afraid to play a little bit, you know to me because you're just like I just I don't want to fuck this up because You know because everybody's here and you know and you get so precious with it That I was totally beating myself up one as I got off the stage, but in reality had a good set You know, do you think you were projecting a lot because you were being too protective of? Staying in order of your material and trying to be too organized with it. I did come me The fucking 15 years before anybody noticed and then

In time to time I pick up a little fucking gift but This was different this jump was different This now depends. I have a wife and a child that needs to eat so that Richard prior Lenny Bruce aspect of my comedy that I really enjoyed

What's going on ladies good you what Oh Is it working Is it taping? Yeah? so what That whole Lenny Bruce Richard prior thing left from my mind and that kettison thing And that dice thing because now I have audiences They pay for babysitters they pay the park

They pay for a ticket they pay for two drinks and they come see me I do not want to take a chance and put that chance to go down a fox hole and it doesn't work So I started playing my cards to tough Guess where I was doing that at all. So at the comedy store Because I know that people come from overseas and they go to the comedy store and they check in and they want to see different Comedy every Tuesday night, so I'll let my mind take over. That's what they anxiety the anxiety attacks are coming from they were coming from within because I Was starting to get sick by the time I passed the general store on the way down a little Kang

I'm already getting sick. No, I know we one time we're driving and you are getting very nauseous and dizzy and As we're going to the comedy store. I was going out of my comfort zone, but I didn't want to go out of anymore I can't be that guy no more that crazy guy in the original But that crazy guy in the original Was the one that said things That you know, we all got off stage and said what the fuck just happened like that was not scripted Like this is what happens when you have to follow Paul Mooney and there's 16 people in that and you better fucking grab You don't have time to fuck around if not, you're gonna bomb

It's gonna be a long night and you're just gonna go up there and learn to bomb every night in front of 16 people You're gonna learn how to bomb so the only one way to overcome 16 to 20 people is by kicking up the energy a notch Kicking up the energy in us makes your heartbeat a little bit Takes you to different places may she work a little bit more racist Oh, yeah, you know, I go off and it's not see it's not racist to me But it's racist now like now you can't say it right if I said chick or chink a Hindu now They just still freeze, you know, I'm sorry

Like last night I called the guy that took the kid down to the cave of chink and the audience kind of froze And they came back you know I'm saying like they came back like I'm trying shit, but I don't give a fuck What are you gonna do leave there and write a blog about me? Saying something that ships out. Yeah Let me let me ask you this. What's what's the purpose of that to say that the purpose is you're in that's who you are I'm on a street corner on 78th Street in County Boulevard And we're fucking four or five guys in a check and we're talking shit About last night and the way to describe that guy is by saying the fucking Hindu

We went over and got three little lottery tickets from the Hindu and you know, it was a different world It wasn't a world of racism that everybody took everything so fucking literal, you know, I was telling the story that I had an Arab friend 50 years ago first place to take stolen cars to Jolly Arab up in fucking New York That's the first guy knew that was Arabian. That's an That's an Arab is a cool everybody Whenever just one or two of them everybody loved an Arab, right? You hugged them. You didn't give a fuck if they smell like hummus You know an Arab you didn't give a fuck now. They're everywhere. So they're not that special no more. You don't say They're everywhere but back

Back in the day that don't mean you racist listen my best friend For three years was a guy named Mohammed Zabeep We started out. He was my tutor at the University of Colorado for economics Best best best friends and he wore the sandals. He had the garb on the whole fucking thing I had none against them. I love them to death. He I gave a pastor for eating hummus Yeah, it's who he is after you got out of yeah, okay after I Didn't have nothing and so now we stop you one of my best best friends in the world I'll never forget them with Mohammed Zabeep. I

Still I'm coming to my house. I still remember coming to comedy shows in the beginning Oh, really in the very beginning and being impressly coming cuz he was like a ladies man He was getting his dick sucked by a little white chick He was married back in it in hinduville, but his mom comes Back and he's like, I'm not coming back. I'm getting my dick sucked All these bitches think I'm a yoga teacher this fucking dick like it's fucking a yummy. I'm sick Yeah, cuz he taught like yoga part time, but he was really yeah, but he was banging white shit, right? I knew more about yoga. I'm not mad at him

Sandals and drops of poetry on him. He would lift the accent up a little bit the Arabian accent Right bitches were crazy over this. I'm sure I'm sure in Colorado. I'm sure yeah Mohammed Zabeep nice guy So yeah, it's not that you're saying racist things It's that you're talking from the heart and you're saying different I don't listen. I don't believe it's saying I don't believe in winning the war to lose the battle. I'm not one of those guys Comedy those assholes. Yeah, they're funny on a Monday night when it comes time to get a paycheck You're not gonna get a paycheck if you win the war to lose the battle, right? That's it. Yeah, you said something cool Oh my god, you're so valiant, but look at the people. What'd you do? You just fucked them up

You're gonna have you an abortion joke. You're gonna kick the fetus of a boarded baby That's impressive All those things I don't want to hear that stupid Fair enough joey Diaz fair enough I just wanted you to know that I thought That and I'm gonna just bring it back cuz whatever but I thought that That's what I liked about your special is I thought it was challenging I thought was hilarious and I thought

At the end joy I fucking teared up because I thought You really showed who you were in an honest way and it was funny and it was Heartwarming and it was challenging all-in-one. It was really fantastic Really imagine living your life right now when you first got married to the GI And if you had kids with him and if you would have yearned to be a I know 100 pounds heavier you would miss burn sandals you have diabetes too We crones and God knows what else right Malukya you having here because you didn't do what you wanted to do oh

Every time Because when you were saying earlier at dinner about when you would get dizzy driving over the hill to go to the comedy Store and I was saying because I do have Crohn's disease and I was saying yeah every time I get sick It's when I'm doing something that that I'm not listening to myself And I'm just bullshitting you know what I mean like I'm participating in something that my body is literally like and no And I think everybody has that part for some people. It's a bad back. You know me for some people. It's you know what I mean I Felt that when I shot the CISO special it was good, but I didn't let loose I held back because I didn't want to give them what they wanted from me

But guess what Led Zeppelin never goes up there and plays the Rolling Stones Okay, right the pretenders never go up there and play Pat Benetza The pretenders always the pretenders and the Rolling Stones. I'm not I'm not comparing myself to that I'm just making a metaphor that I Love doing comedy and I love Red Fox. I love Richard Pry and I love the style of comedy. I do it too I am There's nobody that could talk about eating pussy and fingers up your ass hole And and it's you want me to tell you something a woman told me in Philadelphia. She goes when you talk about that stuff

It's kind of dirty But it's kind of erotic. It turns you on in a way One woman out of all of them that have seen it so far But no, no, no, I like that type of language I want to fucking be dirty To go up there Yeah What they think and that's what that's it like once I took all that safety another way Like, you know what man?

My family will eat. I've been doing this for 27 years. They're not gonna stop eating right, right? It's I'd rather be who I am on stage Then be who you want me to be and feed my family I'd rather be who the fuck I am take a lower paycheck and feed my family Right and fucking play your fucking songs and do fucking romps and whatever the fuck it is that you like, right? You know, and if you walk out you walk up, but there's no reason why you should walk out because this is YouTube There's YouTube you can YouTube any comic now before you buy a ticket You don't listen to your friends and be a sheep and say, okay, I'll go with you. Hold on one second

Let me go on YouTube this motherfucker ain't my cup of tea. He's up there talking about a kidnapping a dude I Go watch somebody who kidnaps So that's the edge we get now right everybody who pays for a ticket is in yeah Yeah, so my main concern was letting him down, right? I don't want to let people down No, so you have to work on it you have to really give them what they want, you know what man People just want a real experience Joey and that's what you're offering. That's what you Who used to date?

Amy Schumer Good-looking guy. Oh, yeah Very good writer Anthony Anthony just a neck. I wish I could write like Anthony I wish I could write like the guy that created Chappelle with Dave and I wish I could write like John Mulaney But the fact is I can't That's just the way it is that if I did write like them and went up on stage and did what they did I would just be I would just be it's a slow suicide No, it's true, but you are a good writer

For your own way and that's that you have your own thing and that's the most important thing Everyone can learn the trick on how to write a joke. You can take a class like I did you can learn that trick But you have to be yourself. I want to write a joke Tell them my statement knock them off balance a little bit and then explain to them from a vine in my life Why I made that statement And they look at it differently and that's what you did in the special Because you said all that stuff and then at the end you spoke about your mother But it the way it happened and I'm not kissing your ass because I don't give a fuck but no your friend

But but the way when you did that is you explain to people this is by just doing that story This is who I am. This is my experience, you know, I mean you give yourself permission to talk that way because you It's real, you know, I mean, and it's accessible to people You're more accessible to a certain crowd of people than Mulaney is I I never watch a comedy special I watched yours. I'll watch my friends here and there but to go through one when you're just Flipping channels, but I did land on Mulaney's and I was like fucking just blown away But that's his that's his different kind of skill, that's his thing your thing is just as valuable It's just different, you know, and I mean, thank God if we were all like yes

Everyone would fucking comedy wouldn't sell any tickets. Are you are you adjusting how you do your sets at all because? Even leading up to that you would do some of the same bits, but your set is different every time you do it You know, you don't really stick to too much of a set list No, especially at the comedy store the comedy store She wanted from the beginning for it to be a creative place Can you do me a favor and open the door a little bit quickly? So I'm sorry to bother you She wanted that place to be a workout room Somewhere I had a few conversations with people and again

This is the problem that you let different things get into your mind and it affects you different ways. I Got to different conversations with people and they would say to me well the comedy store is phenomenal But I have no place to go work on Why not because I got a follow-up runway I can't try five minutes of new material when I'm following Ron White, Crystal Lea Joe Rogan What's the Amy Wong Allie Wong I can't I can't try new material because I'm gonna look that bad

And then I figured out whoa back to Mitzy Shaw one-on-one back to the book The original room in the belly room where creative resource rooms The main room was where you were polished and where she put you up on the weekend But the purpose of the original room was for everybody to be more creative let yourself go Pull the darkness out of you When you get really the people leave the store if you talk to people who left the store No, I didn't like that place. Whatever. It's because it does something to you It goes deeper into your soul that makes you draw out of your soul and there's people that can't handle that

That's why the improv. I'm not knocking the improv, right? But the improv is a different type of comic over the years. I learned the more I put my soul into my set The more I didn't really matter what I said As long as they knew where my heart stood as new as long as they knew the compass to where my heart stood I could say all those racial slurs and talk about eating pussy Because they know where your heart is and that's the most important thing to get out that takes years That takes storytelling Yeah, it takes some time to take because you become a comedian one day and then I invite you to a storytelling show

And you eat a bag of dicks the first three times Because it's a different animal, right? But once you get the storytelling really strong Now you have this whole thing now now your comedy bit has a beginning a middle and an ending In fact, you could even write what is the message of this joke? Mm-hmm, and the joke will start flowing out more and I'll come with a story of how you were carrying luck Whatever the fuck right that's the hardest part is learning your story And when you're doing comedy is being able to have a great story and deliver jokes I think that's the hardest part is the story sometimes

That's the last piece that you learn. It's so weird. I went for the low I was gonna Eddie Bravo once and he was telling me when he was Before he started getting really good. He would have gone for ankle locks And that's like easy pickings right in Brazil when you go for ankle locks They throw shoes at you on the mat because it means that you're going for the low hanging tree, you know and my first 18 months of comedy, I gotta be honest with you. It was basically

One line that was written And the next eight minutes were improvised And now because I had to be in front of the same audience Every Tuesday Felicia and they were all the same type of months They would only come in on Tuesday nights because it was a 15 night dollar steak Plus they got a comedy ticket The steaks were usually 25 bucks to the broker in Boulder and Denver. Oh really they had four of them Romantic place great concept till this day. I give them I send them my love

And I send them a big shout out for them helping me in my career in the beginning, especially the one in Boulder I forget who the managers were and the waitresses. I know Some of their names, but that was my developmental spot for a year and a half I went there every Tuesday I would stay up every Monday night. Sometimes I do blow some nights. I'd stay up on pure open mightness, you know And I would write the jokes for Tuesday out at Boulder's paper I'll take the bold daily camera for the whole week

And I would take the front page or write jokes topical jokes Because this is pre-internet This is pretty I remember you having like getting a usa today and they used to have this one section Where it would be all the little dumb ass stories from each state In the usa today And so I would go to that because it would have some like florida man's story like back in the day But they would do from each state like a little blurb of weird crime Yes, yes, that's what I used to use to write jokes. Yes. Yes. So for my first 18 months in comedy. I just used

material from the paper To write jokes because they were all bold locals So it wasn't like I didn't have to be fucking johnny genius I would just write local material and then go up there And riff and learn how to improvise and I got really good at that Yeah, you're that's your special and then I went to new york and find out that everybody in improvise in new york Seven out of ten people got on stage and I guys do until that So what do you do for a living your construction guy you like building and they just run from there for sure

Because I remember I was a regular at the comedy store till about I think I moved to new york in like 94 And I was all like, hi, my name is felicia And I go to new york, right? And uh, and I go into the club I think it was comics the comic strip and then I was like And they were like what the fuck is this and then I was all like wow, this isn't gonna work here So then it was like, hey, everybody has Then I had the that and for me

Even though I had the privilege of being at the comedy store for such like eight or nine years at the beginning To me going to new york is is when it switched for me because the comedy store was like my home club It's a club I started in really and so to go to new york It broke all my bad habits that I had learned at the comedy store. It was tremendous tremendous What bad habits did you have from the comedy start? Well, um, just uh, Not not because I came at the comedy store and I was so young I was like little felicia at the comedy store like everyone's little pet that they would, you know, rub the top of my head You know what I mean? And I didn't even though it was really filthy. I didn't

Uh, I didn't Stretch who I was I wasn't curious about anything and moving to new york Made me have to kind of face The person I really want to be you know what I mean? I know that sounds crazy But at that time I had done playboy So I was just uh Like shedding like layers of me because it was like, you know I don't want to wear high heels and suck my gut in and wear a push-up bra to tell fucking jokes anymore

You know, I so I did playboy. Let's make that go away. You know what I mean? And it was like just peeling layers like an onion, you know After you could playboy that you change your attire on stage now Um, I went through like probably like a year of around playboy where I dressed up a little bit more because I would Did the playboy and they kind of sent me around if you a little bit then But um, but then when I moved to new york, that's when it really changed it It really changed, you know, and it was also A whole new bench of comics, you know at that time

Like a tell and all those, you know, geraldo all those people You know, and so it was just a nice, you know, because you can get stuck in a club It's like you being at the comedy store and deciding to leave right when the whole rogan thing happened You just get to where you know, you got to move out of the house. You know what I mean? It's like you're 19 living at home. So you got to move out of the house for a little while You know what I mean, you know I think the special came out monday night at midnight

And I did rogan that afternoon and I was kind of numb about it. I didn't know what the response would be or whatever I didn't really care I just wanted monday to be over with, you know And I got up Tuesday morning and I opened up the computer and I had 12 messages on the fucking On facebook and they probably had like 11 on twitter and The whole twitter page was covered and uh I mean I got up and I got some coffee, you know

I shook it off a little bit. I got some coffee and then After I drank my coffee. I wait like 10 minutes. I do my first bonk hit I took a nice little shit and that's when everything normalizes as I'm smoking I take this shit everything normalizes. I wash my hands and sometimes I get another Sometimes I get a little pot of coffee And I make another cup of coffee and I drink half of it And it's 7 to 15 in the morning

And I went back to facebook And there was a message on there, a girl I had grown up with That were really tight growing up with her boyfriend was a marine And then one time me and her robbed a local pool Place and I threw her over the fence because I couldn't jump fences So I remember pushing her over the fence and the whole thing. She was a dynamite chick And uh

She hit me out and she was like, you know To see to open up netflix and to see you and made the world to me Your mother must be really happy and proud of you or whatever And I turned it off and I did what I was doing and I walked into the kitchen And what came to me was leaving boulder Leaving boulder Either june 1st or july 1st of 95

Leaving my daughter jack on and leaving a bad relationship This addiction this rocky apartment that I had I kept it I paid rent for three months Because I figured I was just going to go to Seattle for a month and come back But I knew in my heart that if I went and left That I had to go for it like I had to go for it I couldn't come back to bold to beat up 20 years later and say I went I gave it a tribe that didn't work out And at that moment it hit me what netflix

Was and I walked into my kitchen and right by the refrigerator. I had a mini heart attack I just flipped over and put my hand in the counter and just It was like 22 years of tears It was the final load off my shoulder of pain like it was it Terry came in and asked me what was going on. They said I was thinking about something And then later on after school. I told her the truth. I said I had a little mini heart attack Because I can't believe that I made that decision when I was driving on to lung month I had to catch the 70s for lung month or whatever

And I remember going if I do this I have to do something with my life. I just can't leave bold. I'm leaving a great little rocky apartment I have a job that could probably make 60 70 grand a year I work half the I deliver Chinese for like a cocaine cheap I get weed cheap. I had everything I wanted to But I got on my comfort zone. It was so weird how This all goes back to going out of your comfort zone To become a good comic and that's what was killing me at the store that anxiety now

I'd do 90 down Laurel Canyon thing at my time in the store the fucking air sickness that little fucking sickness I was getting right has disappeared good because I was fucking annoying. Yeah But now to you, you know, this guy tells you to go to fuck away I remember talking to you the next day or two days later It was the best thing he could have ever done Joey in hindsight. Well, no, no things like that are usually the best thing to say At the time you don't like the old guys. Yeah You do but it made me laugh too because it's like look at this motherfucker But then it was the best thing that he could have ever done because the truth of the matter is

I should have go away and and relearn my craft and But you know, I was a different person too than when I was in my 20s, you know So I couldn't even do the material that I had done in my 20s So I had to relearn how to do everything and it was the perfect that he said the perfect thing to me That motherfucker But he said the perfect thing to me and then you started hanging out the store I started seeing you down and you started a podcast called liars club Which is the liars club with jessica wellington started lurking down there

You're going down there on monday's doing friends and family and all that shit And then one day you started calling for spots or they told you Do you know alex? Oh god. He was in uh, uh He uh, he's a curly redheaded guy I'm sorry. I can't remember his last name, but uh, he's a regular but he was hanging down there and I was like You know, sometimes I do the belly room for tammy joe and He's like well your name's on the wall. Don't you call in for spots? I was like, yeah, it doesn't work that way I was they told me I was too old and he's like who told you I'm like wool tommy and he's like

Fuck that that's different people now. Just call in just fucking don't be an asshole. Just call in alex hooper is his name He's a really great guy And so I just started calling in and I didn't get anything and then I'd get a little discouraged and jessica's like no Just fucking call in but it was more about just hanging around and we started our podcast We'd sneak up into the belly room during the day And so we did about 15 weeks of sneaking around and then they're like you guys can come down Now to the podcast me or whatever

And so it's been a really fun little thing to do and she's the first Person that I've done a podcast since you or I'm like this Totally fits, you know, is it natural you? Yeah, it's natural. Yeah, just sweet girl. She's she's awesome Yeah, she's Carmen Morales Carmen Morales is fucking making moves. Yeah. Yeah They both are yeah, they both are and jessica's was the first girl door guy at the comedy store ever and uh and uh not for nothing jessica'll fuck you up Like I wouldn't raise my hand no jessica's got a right cross

You'll wake up in a hospital in long beats because you had no insurance I was surprised and she's like you want to do a podcast. I was like you talking to me I was like, okay. No, it's so crazy and like 2009 before I married terry I went for a santeria read, you know, and he was talking to me and he goes, you know You come into an age where you have to be like a leader And what you do? I didn't know what the fuck leader one of my part of a gang, you know

And it hit me one day that I'm an older guy and The support of the young guys, especially at the store or any comic Has to be overwhelming when I see the young guys doing their thing Like last night I saw the girl that just got married to go up after me One of the door girls she married the door guys real pretty girl. All right. He's a real handsome guy They're both like the best looking couple in america. Oh, she bartend too sometimes. I think so. Yeah, she's really beautiful. Yes Yeah, she's a knockout and then

You know, she gave me a big hug. It's weird to see like he's he's just trejo The little indian kid we're taking i'm taking him to brayer to open up for me as a door guy At the store, you know, there's a system, right? There's a system people think that there's a system You know, I see these guys at the store fighting in and out every night for what I don't know what the fuck they pay him If they're comics from time to time, I got an opening. I take them on the road Give them a shot at what it's like. I can't take them every week. But just to show them You know the same way

Jimmy Schubert took me that time to Jacksonville the same way Right that guy took me that time when I needed it, you know For three days, even though I knocked the socks off He never called me again. But at least he brought me, you know, right? It's a continuing funnel and that karma, you know, I took lee to boston You know, lee wasn't ready for a will but either but I didn't give a fuck I threw him up there to the wolves and he handled it. Now it's on. How was that? How was that? That was great. It was awesome. Yeah, and then monday's at the fourth wall and for the 18 people looking at him like he

Nine nine people you committed a felony, you know, that's what this fucking journey is all about. I'm happy When I saw you Nate last tuesday or two tuesdays ago I had to do that. Uh, that's the night that dimmy and harry got into the fist fight the living room And harry's nail got stuck in dimmy's ear. Oh, so I couldn't go down to the store That was one of the greatest line-ups I know And you were on it and I was so proud of you. Yeah, I was like, this is The sickest lineup. It was a great lineup. Yeah, and I was the last one on the lineup

Ron white. Yeah, it was crazy. Bobby alley I think david spade It's crazy. It was just crazy and you were on that one Yeah, now when you're on that one, what time does that mean you go up? It's can vary it can vary like sometimes it's one sometimes it's one 30 But you know, so what I'm not complaining. I'm happy to be there. Do you do your time or do they just let you run? If there's people there, they I think they you know, I've seen motherfucking comics lee wait all day

To go up at 156. Oh, I know that's like lee all day. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, really joey Yeah, go on. We're coming to the stage. Lisa. Yeah, you run up there 156 in the morning. Yeah, and there's nine people and there you are thinking you're at the fucking garden in front of 18,000 people and there's three guys wanting to go on after you But they know that two o'clock they can't get liquor. Yeah So they just sit there. So sometimes the management goes now, but there's 60 people in there And you're rocking and rolling. They'll keep it open. Don't keep it open. But that's a great feeling Yeah, when somebody says you want to do five and close it out. You're like fucking. Yeah

And you go up there for eight people. So 130 is when you go up sometimes sometimes. Yeah, you know, it's been What uh, because I was listening when you were talking all about having nerves and getting dizzy coming over the hill and and the nervousness you felt after you did your Netflix thing because I Obviously on a tiny level But being back at the store and doing those one o'clock 130 spots You know, I feel like I'm not letting loose enough like how you were saying about letting loose and being yourself You were too confined in your own material and I feel like Maybe I need to do it a couple times to get the feel of the room again

You know, do you ever feel like that if you're away from uh, the original room On the road or whatever and you come back. Does it take a while to find the rhythm of the room again? Yes and no Tuesday night lee was down. I had a rough night Tuesday night in the original room. I had a men's immortal night last night And Tuesday night I did really well The original room has a rhythm and the rhythm is you got to be a fucking animal That's the only way I survive in the original room now. I know exactly

The buttons I have to press how high my voice has to be How there's just so many little things But if I work on all those little things in the original room, I know that when I go on the road, I'll keep that pace up That's why I like that pace. I'll keep that pace up I'll take chances If it doesn't work, I got the coverage for you, bitch, right? Don't worry about it But I'm gonna take this fucking little time off of myself Last night in the original in the main room. I spoke about something that

I never spoke about before in the main room For the 400 people I didn't give a fuck In the main room, right? So it's whatever I want to take the conversation now There's no more set list. There's a set list, but there really isn't right. There's a set list, but there isn't It's an invisible line and I think I work better under those lines, you know, so It works for me I see what it does when I'm on the road

And I'm really happy I'm really happy that I'm seeing The teachings of mitzvah Everybody took something from that place I don't know a lot of people listen to the podcast and say when are you guys going to shut up with this shit Because this is our bloodline and you guys are in the workforce And you guys have the same guidelines and stuff. It's just in different terms We're all doing the same shit just trying to be better people, you know, exactly exactly. That's it

So how many times a week are you putting out the podcast? Well, we're doing it once a week now, but we're starting to tape twice a week So and we're starting to do a live show with it. So You do at the ice house We've been doing that at the ice house. We're hoping to do it at the comedy store too So we have a some of our comedy friends come on and we ask them to tell Two stories one is the truth and one is a lie. Lee's done it And and then we try to figure out which one is a lie

And some of the stories are so fucking hilariously stupid Some people But it's been a lot of fun. And then we're going to portland. We're going to go to portland the weekend after Thanksgiving 29th to December 1st, so that'll be good. I'm happy you made time for me. I'm happy Thank you for having me on making things happen. I'm happy that you're part of the comedy sisterhood I know that we have tell me what's the best feeling as a comic Is driving into the parking lot at the comedy store at nine o'clock at night Right and pulling to the back

Yeah, and you know what it's really weird that we still have the blessing to do it 20 years later I know I feel very fortunate every time I go down like I said It's so weird how Your contrast and looking at things changes the outlook if you look at something like it's going to suck it's going to suck But if you really look at some perspective of When I think about the comedy store now, especially the weeks I don't go on the road I have a wife and I have a kid and they're great and I love them to death. You know what I gotta get the fuck out Do you know?

My wife wants me to fuck out there. There's nights. I could tell my wife wants to watch whatever fucking tv with english accents She don't want me around, you know how fucking limey tv She don't want me around I go in there and they're drinking tea. I don't know what the fuck they're saying So I could tell what she wants me out of the fucking house You savage disenglish no, I fucking love you mother fuckers anyway For if you're in the neighborhood and you want to check out Felicia's at the store now Average in three spots a week like a motherfucker

If everyone stays out of town, yeah, and if not, I'll see you guys will see her with me up in Portland I think it's november 28 to december 1st or something like that Go to helium.com and check out tickets right now. All right. All right, don't forget. I'm at uh, Gotham's this weekend But it's sold out. I'm also november 21st. I think I'm at the improv and Irvine And there's a few tickets left for that too. Thank you guys for fucking always having my back Thank you for watching the special But before we end this I gotta talk about a few things. All right, listen a lot of things happen when you're asshole When you wipe it. Yeah, you wipe it

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When somebody breaks your heart like you Like you You