Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #634 - Steven Brody Stevens

Episode Date: November 13, 2018

Steven Brody Stevens, a comedian, actor seen in "The Hangover," and the host of the "Festival of Sports" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: �� Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/muffler for 10% off of your portable bidet order.   23andme.com - 23andMe is a DNA testing service that can offer you insights on to how your DNA can influence your weight, sleep quality and much more. Order your 23andMe health and ancestry kit at 23andMe.com/church before thanksgiving and when you buy more than 2 kits each kit is $49.99, a 50% discount.    Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/JOEY to get your first THREE meals for free.      Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 11/12/2018.
  

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You're 10 days away from pilgrims. You follow me? Brody Stevens. Uncle Joey, the Christ killer. Here we go. I fucking believe. This will never happen again. Here you go. What? My main man, Brody Stevens, it's Tuesday morning, the 13th. Listen, if you came to any of the shows that got them, I want to thank you personally. It was a great fucking weekend. No chairs were thrown, no bottles. That's always a good fucking weekend. You were a great audience. If you've been watching the Netflix special, thank you

very much for the support and the love. And that's it. It's about Brody Stevens. Yes, we are here feeling good, relaxed in the moment. I'm comfortable. I've been on the show. Good to see you guys. Lee and Joey. Always great to bump into you. You know, I was thinking about who I have on this time. I said fucking Brody Stevens. I just saw him at the store and let me give him a fucking hour. Yeah, it was. Yeah, I saw you at the store showing my face, see how you're doing, call me. What time are your spots usually? I get normally, I'll do Friday or Saturday in the main room, closing it out, which is like 1230, 1245 late. And

then occasionally I'll get an earlier spot in the original room, like a 1045 or an 11. So Adam, the Booker and they mix it up for me. But I get two to three spots a week. But I make the most of those. If I get those main room spots, I in and I go up at the end, that's I get to spread my wings and do my own thing. And that's what I made my special based on doing those late night main room spots. I'm just kind of letting it go. So I still do those. I've kind of, you know, I've done it already. So I'm looking to do something more but getting some motivation for, you know, but they switch it up. But you got to hustle,

got to play the laugh factory, got to go to the improv, got to do these other shows, got to show your face. Listen, the hustle never ends. Like I said, Sebastian Mascacos sold out four shows in Madison Square Garden. And I'm telling you, every day, all of the struggle, whatever level you're at comically, you know, stat, whatever, right? Every day, you got to get up and face it at work and fucking, you know, whatever it is that you do to get, you know, closer to your goal, whatever the fuck it is. You know, it was interesting. You were talking about the beginning of the show that you're done with the meds.

You're done. Well, I have been. For how long now? Four months. How do you feel? Good. I mean, my mood is low. I feel like I have to build up my rewire my brain a little bit and my body. I think that it takes several months to like get it out of your system. And then you get used to being different. But essentially, I feel like my old self. But that doesn't necessarily like pre comedy, because I'd been taking these some kind of an anti-depressant something to take the edge off. Since Seattle, you know, and I only had a year or two in New York when I was not really on anything. But being here in

Los Angeles since 2000, I think the pressures maybe of the internet made me in all these just so many more things happening. But initially, I started taking it in Seattle because I'd get up there and do comedy and it would I wouldn't feel right. I wouldn't I felt like, Oh, Brody, you're funny. You're funny playing baseball. Then when I went up there and did comedy, it was it was rough. So I did take something to help me have the edge taken off. However, I feel like 20 years now later to say you're on only on a med because it helps your comedy is kind of like a weak excuse.

Well, listen before, by the way, it's I think it's I called it just to stay safe. I always said it was November 15. But it was more like the eighth or the ninth when I gave up cocaine. This is 11 years. 11 years. Coke free this week. Congratulations. 11 fucking years. Coke free. Something that I never, ever, ever thought I could live without. Mm hmm. Like something that I thought. But if I got off it, I wouldn't be funny. That was my biggest fear of getting off the cocaine was that I would lose my sense of humor. Yeah. So when you said that before the show started, I assured you that that does not happen. You know, I

don't know what your history was with meds. And I didn't want to put it on the front street, but you put it on the street. Well, and you know what, man? There's a lot of people who listen to this show that are on meds. And maybe it's maybe you inspire them to maybe go, you know what, I'm going to give my hell self a chance. I'm going to try to live my life. I'm going to try to get a good control. Uh, good. Uh, what do you call that around you? A good support support system. Showing your face. Fucking important. The support system around you is the most important thing. You know, I took Kate Quigley to the New York

County festival and Wednesday night I had all my friends meeting at a Chinese restaurant and we all ate and little by little kept, she kept seeing my friends and she goes, I understand you now a lot more. You know, you've kept in touch with these people for 40 fucking years and they support you. And you know, instead of me going out and buying a BMW and getting an assistant, I call one of them every day and I hear them telling me how they have to call me back because they deliver in a package for federal express. And they tell me how they have to drive home at eight, but go back to work at 10 because a ship is

coming in and they got to count stuff. So when I talk to them every day, it keeps me grounded. It says to me, fuck, they're 55 and I have a friend who delivers, he's 56, my brother, and he delivers fucking packages all day for federal express. I would give up. If you think I could deliver packages, federal express today, you better fucking shoot yourself by the climb upstairs all day and drop off boxes. That's not going to happen. I would quit in the middle of the day. Depends on what city. Any city. I think I wouldn't have. I don't have it in me to deliver packages all day right now. There is no fucking way. Even if I

was 50 pounds lighter, a hundred pounds lighter, there is no way at 55 that I could be walking up and down stairs. I know there's plenty of men that are doing it. The Amazon guys, I'm sure. When I speak to these guys that I grew up with, you know, what my one friend says, he wraps on the weekends to make us an extra $200 a week for his family. So during baseball season, he goes up on stage, you know, he goes up on stage. I'm sorry. He fucking goes to a little league field at eight in the morning and he's there at six at night on Saturdays and Sundays. After he delivers, federal express all fucking week. Oh, the same

guy. The same guy to make $175 for the day. So his family can have an extra $1,400 a month. And I'm like bitching about having a gig for $400. Like you know what I'm saying? Right. When I talk to them, it keeps my life in perspective. It keeps me in check. I don't want to be surrounded with people who look at life for like a value. I want it always, always, you know, so that's who keeps me grounded. That's my support group. Those little fucking friends I call in the morning and just how I break your balls. I break their balls. I know when they're busy. I know when they're busiest. I call them, then I call them again. And these

are friends back, back east or all over. All over. Just saying hello. Saying hello. Because it keeps you fucking grounded. I talked to Bobby Lingus today. I listened from the podcast, you know, tomorrow I got to call Bobby Sharon. Every day is somebody, you know, and these people keep you humble. Is it also just socializing, keeping those? I love my friends in Germany. Yeah. I love them more every time I see them. I see them for 10 minutes and it means the world to them and it means the world to me. When I'm home, I go to breakfast at this one. I go to the sea, my mother's cemetery with that one. This one takes me to get

Cuban food. This one takes me to Rudy's. This one drives me to Chance. So I have a different relationship with all of them. And I talk to them and, you know, I have a friend who, 55, went to MIT. Massachusetts Institute of Technology. No, no, no, no, no. The one in New York. The one in New Jersey. The one where people are fucking geniuses. You know what he does? He delivers bread from midnight to 11 in the morning for 200 hauls a shift. He makes a thousand bucks a week and sometimes he works Saturday nights. All night delivering bread in the village, but he's got to work from six in the morning with all that traffic.

He's got to get over to the Jersey side and I wouldn't fucking want to do that at all in my age again. So all these guys keep me grounded. So whatever keeps you grounded from the evil in your mind coming out of whatever the fuck happens to all of us, that's the most important thing. And I'm telling you, this is a 55 year old. Like I'm an old fucking man and I wish I knew this when I was 30. Yeah. That you have to have three people, four people and you breathe for them and they breathe for you. No questions asked. Yeah, I have friends I need to, I mean, I'm from here. It's a little different. That's an excuse though. Like my best, not

my best friend, one of my close friends, I still like lives up near Magic Mountain. I should probably call him. Maybe tomorrow I'll call him. I'll call him. Take him to lunch. I'm just having done it. Make a deal with him that you're going to make sure and meet him every two weeks for lunch. I need to get the same diner to eat the same bowl of soup, whether it's a Jewish. What if I have an audition? Who gives a fuck? That's the problem. That's the problem that we forget who we are because we have the audition. I had a commitment with you. Every Sunday at 11 o'clock, you have to make that commitment. Tomorrow, you know, pisses

me off tomorrow. That's how they was my heavy day. So today I lifted it and I went to kickboxing. Tomorrow, I don't know how I'm going to wake up on my back to the field. If I miss jujitsu, I feel guilty because I had a date with jujitsu. When I get a fucking call for an audition on a Tuesday at one, I get pissed because I got to miss jujitsu. Right. When I got a call for a fucking meeting to meet somebody at two o'clock in Hollywood, that means I can't go to jujitsu. I can only do the conditioning and I get fucking pissed. You know, I don't want nothing to interfere with whatever keeps me grounded. And I wish

that I had known this when I first moved to LA. And I did have a grounding. I had people like Ralphie May and yourself and Josh Wolfe and whatever. But nobody protected me from myself, which nobody could ever do. Nobody could protect you from being you. It takes you to protect yourself. I know, right? How hard is that? It's hard. It's hard. You know, it's that's why you need, you know, having family, having a wife or a husband or a dog or something or it's you got to you have to build if you don't have that you got to build up your support system. You got to it just takes effort. It takes effort and you

want it and be a good person, I think, but also getting out of the house. It's just with the internet these days, social media, it does affect people. But how long have you lived alone, Brody? Probably now for great question, Lee, probably now for six years, because like I lived alone for eight years, something like that. And even this weekend, I was like, something's happened that I know what I mean. I was just getting into my head. And I didn't I talked to a few people, but I know most of the day I'm by myself. And even just as terrible as I sounded, I was just

driving and I just was thinking about what's going on with the fires. And I was like, you know what, this is that really doesn't matter. Like what's what I'm going through is in the grand scheme of things. I'm making it worse in my head. So I think it's harder sometimes as a person who lives alone to like get out of their head. Well, yeah, I mean, that's why I well, one, I go for walks actually getting out and then I do that periscope. I do talk. I mean, I'm not hearing their voices, but I am doing these check-ins. I am connecting with my community. There is something true to having a your audience, your fans, they

do mean something. So I do lean on them some sometimes more than others. So you know, having a roommate, I had a roommate back my old my last apartment and he was a really good roommate. They're hard to come by. But I think yes, being social and when you are living alone and you're it's it could be you got to like make it happen. But when you if you like I said, like you called me today, Joey, I didn't know, you know, this was not like something that was booked. It was energy. I feel like you got to be in it to win it. That's half the battle. So and not feeling sorry for yourself. But I think having a roommate

you think that would be better like No, I mean, because trust me, I haven't had a roommate since college. And that's Oh, really? Yeah, it's but I have sacrificed financially for it. I could have saved a lot of money by getting a roommate and or even if I was spending the same amount of money getting a bigger place. But I live with someone for a year. And even he would say when I did it that it's like I'm a very I'm a very much introverted person. Yeah. And it takes a special I can't live with that many people. Okay, I like my space. I like I like to go somewhere and have no

one like to unplug like something that's been kind of a struggle for me that I have to work on is hanging out after comedy sets. I don't feel comfortable really hanging out after yeah after the show. Yeah. So that's what talking to the other comedians talking to the fans. Well, the audience members. I mean, the people the people who come, it's a little bit different. It's quicker conversations. I can ask them about I can talk and be like, Hey, what are you doing this and that? But and I have some friends I do open mics with now. Right. But I don't unless it's a few people like two or three people, I could hang around

for an hour. If it's seven or eight people, I'll hang around for like 20 minutes. So you just want to get out of there? Yeah, I just want to go home. And you feel like that's not good? Yeah, I think I need to be a little bit more so I mean, I'm more social already. But I think it would be beneficial if I was you know, hanging out to know people on a more personal basis. I mean, that's why the comedy store is so popular. Yeah, you can hang out you hang out there, right? You come by there a little bit. Yeah. And I've been I've been I just have to force myself to to stay and and do I haven't I've done it like twice in

the past week. But one of the times I had a show so it didn't really I didn't really count it as just hanging out. But you set up you go like on you know, whatever night once or I have to start doing that more. I've been avoiding it. Yeah, because everybody's hanging out there. They're all similar, same likes. And you know, you're at the comedy store, right? And then you're going to meet other comedians, you're going to meet fans, you're going to be around people, all that stuff. I mean, that's why I go. I go to I know I have a place. I do the same thing. Yeah, I do the same thing. I force myself to go to the store. But

let's back this conversation up. Because these are some interesting fucking things that are happening here. Okay, just now. Lee and I when we first started doing the podcast, we started in my apartment had an extra bedroom. And then this is not I'm not hating on Lee people. Lee knows what I'm about to tell you people. And then Lee got an apartment. And it was a two bedroom. And we do the bed, the podcast out of his apartment. And I love Lee. Lee has come over my home. Lee knows my family. Lee could come to my home whenever he wants. He knows that. Yeah. I know from doing the podcast that year in Lee's

apartment. And how he acted that I have never been back to one of Lee's apartment. Not because he's a bad person. He's always hosted me. He always had diet cokes for me. His apartment was clean. Okay. Okay. I just know Lee. I know from me being who I am. That Lee there's people who want you at their house. There's people who love open up the door, go and come in, come in, sit down, take your shoes off, put your feet on the table. There's people who are naturals at that. Yeah. There's people who are fucking naturals at that. They want to entertain. I wish I could be one of those people. Okay. So just that

relationship of me going to Lee's home in the morning to do his podcast. And at one time there was a girl sleeping on his couch. I could see that the effect of when that girl moved out on Lee. And I tried to tell him not because I'm a hater. Before Lee told me he was gonna let his girl from move in. I go Lee, from a standpoint of a fucking old man that reads people and is a loner. Remember guys, I was a loner. You put me in my room by myself as a kid. I was a loner. I was an only child. Long as I got a fucking record player and a TV, but something happened to me in 1987. In 1986, something interesting happened to me.

And I admit this on the air right now and it's called something, but it affected me in a different way. It's called the cabin fever. Okay. The same thing that happened to the guy in the shining. Oh yeah. Okay. So what happened is in Aspen, the spring of 86, my girlfriend who became my wife said it's the off season. Everybody loses their job. So instead of sitting all the restaurants closed. Right. Everything closes. I mean, it goes from being heavy duty, fucking people jumping off clips with bikinis on to April 15th. Nothing like nothing like from traffic to six cars. And the only thing that stays open

is a supermarket. At least this is how it was in 86. All that would stay openly was a supermarket for limited hours because all that was left was the residents of that town. People who work at the store. Instead of there being nine bars now, there was a hotel with one bar open. And that's the way it was till mid June. Then the bicycle races came and how their balloons came. And then it became people come back up. Yeah. But there's a six week spandex that I had to work three hours a day. Some days just to open up the video store. And I could look you guys in the face and tell you that there were days I wouldn't

even open the door, the door. This is no drugs. This is me smoking pop, popping video after video in the movies. Video after video. I'm watching movies. Yeah. Pissing and shitting in between, eating something in between, making a shake. Yeah. I did that. You could do that back then. I did that for six weeks. Well, it's like a film festival. It had been really weird because before that, I lived in New York and I had a hustle and I was out of the house every day by eight o'clock stealing, selling drugs, stealing fucking tampons and selling them on the New York side to bodegas up on the Washington Heights. I was just a fucking,

you know, and those six weeks affected me. I started to twist a little bit. I started to get bad thoughts, not suicide. Oh, you know, coming back and murdering my stepdad and just bullshit dumb stuff. So from those six weeks, I learned one thing from my personal mental health. It was always good for me. Get up, cup of coffee, you know, go to your balcony, hit your joint twice. Yep. Get your head together. Yep. Write out a plan for your day, what you want to accomplish for the day, like in written form in the paragraph. So they have feel great. I got eight hours to sleep, blah, blah, blah, blah, and take a shower and

get out of the house, even if you have nowhere to go and make your bed. Actually, it's so healthy for you. But if you look at the questionnaire for depression, it's, it starts with that being alone and not getting your hand forced. Mm hmm. You know, I'm not crying, but you're getting your hand forced to do something. A lot of people don't like their hand forced. When you say hand forced, if you get a roommate, you can't do what you usually do. Act like a fucking gavone and just sit on the couch all day and watch videos. Okay. Now you have a roommate, Lee made a point that he's been living alone. But if he had a roommate, maybe he

could get out of the house more. I believe in getting out of the fucking house. I think it's, I think the sun has amazing powers. I think the air has amazing power. You know, there's Sundays I'm feeling ho-hum. I know exactly what it is. I haven't jumped in the shower. It's proven walking is beneficial for you, for your brain, for your body, for everything. So there's no, the only thing somebody would say about walking, you should be doing more. You should be then turn it into a hike. The bottom line is walking helps anybody. And if it's helping you, and especially as a performer,

yeah, mental, just mentally, I go out and I walk and a lot of the creative ideas come from when people walk. I do my periscopes at home walking, I check in with people and then luckily we're here in Southern California and we have that sunlight. So I do, you know, at least I'm doing that. I always say like I'm not a couch potato, I'm checking in. Even if I'm doing another periscope and I'm playing drums, I'm sitting on a Swiss ball, I'm exercising. So I'm trying to at least, you know, show people like being active. And if I don't do a periscope or, you know, I don't do an Instagram video, people are going to go,

hey Brody, what's up? So they kind of, it's, it still doesn't beat having an actual physical person with you. It's a little bit of an AI thing when you, when you have relationships with your audience members that you actually don't even hear their voices. So you do need that human interaction. And part of it is having guests on a podcast. I mean, I've been, I got to the point where I wasn't even booking guests on podcasts. There's just me and, you know, the mic and the camera. It's like, I need to be around people. So I've made the concerted effort, I think the last couple of months or so is like, be

social, put the, put the effort out and get out of your head. Just so, and I see results. I got to at least try. I mean, listen, you and I like it. You have to be in your head to be self conscious. But I don't want you to be the self conscious that you destroy yourself from 79 to 85. Walking was my psychiatrist. Walking with and without an iPad pad on whatever what you call those walk man, walk man, disc man, walk. I walked miles and that was my psychiatry. I would just walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. I didn't do it for

health reasons. It was the psychiatry. I had to break down what had just happened in my life and how I was going to make my future better. And it would be smoking a joint and walking from Clipside Park to fucking Englewood and back six miles or something. Retardation, just wasting time. I was pre, what's that called, procrastinating. Yeah, that's what I do. I was also breaking it down. What had just happened and I was breaking down my next attack. And I finally had the balls and it took me and I launched in 85. That was my attack. But that was a year of walking.

So you were walking before you were doing stand up? Like stand up wasn't even in my future. Okay. Prison was in my future at that time. Gotcha. And I was a walker walking away. Like if I lived here, I would walk towards fucking, you know, sunlin' every day, you know, on a slant with an iPad. I would force myself to walk by myself. No cell phone in your pocket, no calls and break down what had just happened in my life. The death of my mother, how I was going to survive. Was I going to go to vocational school? Was I going to go to college? Was I going to get my GED? How was I going to, you know, it was just a

constant walking was my psychiatrist. You know, today I got up this morning early. There was no school today. So me and my wife had a shared duty. So I got up this morning, hung out with her early, watched television. And then at nine I went and went to my Muay Thai little conditioning class. But I remember before I walked in, I got to the quarter of nine, I just stood there by my car for four minutes and I just soaked in the sun. And naturally I said to myself, just being outside is helping me. You know, I always tell people that you can take private lessons or you can be in a class setting. I much rather be in a class

setting. So I have relationships with different people in that class because I'm the type of guy that I can get up at eight, go to my VET and sit there writing to one and then go home, go to your office, get on social media for an hour, return emails and then talk to my wife, talk to my kid and I could stay home and I could do that for three or four nights in a row. And that sucks deck. That makes me go crazy. It's the reason why I call in for spots at the comedy stores to force me to get off my ass and go down there because you can't cancel. No. So you have to go down there. When I'm driving back from the

comedy store, I feel so satisfied at the end of the day. But I accomplished my mission for the day. Even if you have a bad set? Even if I have a bad set. It's not about a bad set for a guy like me. It's about the same two things you guys are talking about. Human contact. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's one thing. You need it. We're human beings. I'm talking about as soon as you wake up, I want you to give yourself an hour for you. I want you to take that hour. I always think when I get up in the morning, I thank the Lord that he gave me another day and I thank the Lord that I didn't grow up. I'm not growing up in the house.

We're at six thirty in the morning. A bomb gets dropped in your house. Leaves getting shaved. I got to wait for him. We can't use the bathroom because Brody took a shit. It smells like fucking 10 people died in there. Yeah. Yeah. The washing machine broke. So the fucking shirt's not ready. Now you got to iron it by hand. Everybody's getting up in a bad mood and now you got to get on the train in a bad mood and everybody's late to work. I fucking hated that shit. We don't want that shit did not fly in my world. I know I needed to get up. I need a little break in the morning. I put music on. I get coffee. I sit there with

a notebook that's wide open. I put Tuesday, November 13th on it and I say it's a beautiful day for him to be alive and from there. I just let and I don't stop till the end of the page. So your journal journal in the morning to get the waste out today. I'm going to do this, this, this, and this. I fucking don't want to do it because the 405 is going to have traffic on it. I mean I talk myself out of everything I could talk myself out of. So it's all over. After that page, my day is decided. You know what? I was going to do What's His Name? podcast. I'm not driving to Marina Del Rey. I'm texting him at

nine o'clock and telling him you're in no danger. You know, that's when I decide that how I feel. If I wake up and my back hurts and I can't move, then I'm not going to go to Jiu Jitsu at 12. Let's make all the plans. Who's got a podcast? You got a podcast here. When do you do it? Wednesdays? Thursdays? Well, let's do it tomorrow at 12. That's how I work because I don't want to skip. I don't know when I'm going to be available. But it's about also, you know, scheduling stuff. Scheduling stuff and always keeping yourself busy. This business, what we do, let me tell you something and I'm not going to do

this to none of you people anymore because I know sometimes when comedians combine here, fucking in today's world, it gets crazy. If you get caught up in today's world between the internet, the media, and what's going on, you are going to go crazy. I'm not going to mention no names because I'm not here to embarrass nobody. But I think we have discussed that we've seen a couple of people lose their minds within the last two or three years. Oh, yeah. On the internet? On the internet. In public, we've seen, we've heard of people losing their minds. There's too much information getting poured into the

human mind right now. So right now, you have to learn how to control that too. You have to learn how to control that too and decide on what level, how much of this are you going to take in. You know what? I'm listening to 11 podcasts a week. That's 33 hours. I got to chop it down to five. You do? You know what? I'm watching too much fucking football. I got to chop it down over just Sundays. No more Thursday game. I'm going to take a shift to fucking Chili's as I cook. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm going to take an extra shift. You have to control what gets put into your mind right now because of what's going on in the world, what ABC News is feeding you,

and when the internet is feeding you. It really, really is overwhelming for the mind. Yeah. Well, I don't look at the, you know, the ABC News really. I'll glance at those guys, but I listened to, I listened to KFI local radio here in LA, but I go on the internet for my news and it's, I mean, it's a battle out there to be honest with you how it is. And I wake up every morning and a lot of times, to be honest, I'm up in the morning. I'm looking at that internet. I'm looking at that Twitter and I'm looking, I'm trying to find things and I do my sets at the comedy store. I come home, I go straight to Twitter and I'm not on there like getting fights with people. I'm just researching stuff. I'm researching stuff. And I feel like I'm ahead of the,

ahead of the game on, on what's happening. And I feel like the last few years with, with the politics, the way they are, it has kind of taken, taken, pulled me into an area, at least my energy, not necessarily, I'm not getting into fights on the internet. I'm not that guy. But it does get your blood boiling a little bit. But I do avoid it. But I also, I'm digging in. I want, I want, honestly, I want everybody to be happy. I want to do whatever it takes to get it back to where we're happy and working together. And that's what I'm pulled in there too. And it takes, takes your time. And I feel like I'm not a part of that mob mentality. I'm a little, I'm a little different. I'm blue collar. I'm from the valley grew up, you know, and it bothers me what I don't

like seeing comedian friends of mine, angry on Twitter. So I do not, I try not to not try to block it and not see it, but it's a bummer for me. And so that can get to you. I feel it's a tough time to be a human being right now. It's, I feel mentally, if you get sucked in, it's a tough time to be a human being right now. You have to know your yin and your yin and your borders. You know, you have to make time for yourself. You have to take care of yourself. Yes, you have to, you know, you're talking to a guy that lived in his head for years. And it got me nowhere. It got me nowhere. So I expressed what was in my head. That's where I started getting places,

you know, we overthink things and in the process of thinking, we think ourselves out of the game. Right. Nothing to think about. You get the idea. You got a piece of paper. You write it out and you go to work. So you weren't, you weren't journaling during the years you were in your head? Not even thinking about it. There was no journaling. There was nothing. There was no journaling in my life till 1994 that I started journaling my comedy stuff. And then I went to Seattle and there was a skinny woman. There was a comic that wasn't that funny. Older married and one day she turned me on to a book called The Writer's Way or something. And she told me I could borrow it for a few days and I read it. And then there, already I was doing it. In there,

it recommended, excuse me, that when you wake up in the morning, you should get a fresh piece of paper and express your thoughts for the day. And I was like, I'm on to something. If that telling you this, at this time, this was the hot book, you know, the book, The Writer's Way or The Writer's Way. Was it Jean Paré? No, no, no, it wasn't. It wasn't comedy writing. It was just writing and self-help. Yeah, journaling. This is, I learned that in college at Arizona State. I never knew about journaling till comedy. And I remember when I used to get coked up, I would journal at night, you know, like telling myself this is the last time I'm going to do it. I have to stop this life. Even though I had a good set tonight, I'm making good moves in my life.

Why am I still writing, doing coke? I think journaling is the best thing in the world for you. I think journaling is the best psychiatry. I think every Friday, every Saturday morning, I wake up and I read what I read for the week. I read what I wrote for Monday on. Number one, everything that I write in that journal in the mornings gets done. Plus, I have another notebook that has my schedule. Plus, you have a calendar that has my schedule and, you know, I have three things to know my schedule. One is my day, step by step, nine o'clock, 11 o'clock, 12, 30, four o'clock, five, 30, eight o'clock podcast, 10 o'clock spot at the comedy store. And then there's the journal part of it. It's just a yellow notebook and every day I wake up and I write

backwards to front. So I start back and I write to the front. I don't start in the front. I start in the back and I write to the front. It's just superstitious. I don't want to write like everybody else. I start in the back and I write to the front and it opens up with Monday, November 13th. First line is always, it's a beautiful day to be alive. That's the first thought that's just coming to your head. I don't give a fuck if you're in a ditch and there's a rock on top of you. As long as you're breathing, if you say that to yourself, your day is going to be completely fucking different. It's been proven. It's been proven. People who pray, the limits go up. You're not supposed to pray, they say though. The thoughts and prayers.

You're not supposed to pray, but saying that to yourself. It's a beautiful day to be alive while you're pissing, while you're pissing, while that piss is coming out of you and your knee hurts and your neck is stiff, I mean pussy and you got a blister under your tongue for me and pussy and ass. It can happen. And the truth got chlamydia. It still doesn't matter why you're peeing. If you say to yourself, it's a beautiful day to be alive. Whatever shit comes into your mind on top of that, it's not going to matter. I got to record today. I'm broke. I'm hungry. I don't have money to pay the rent. If you say that to yourself first, it's beautiful that every journal of mine starts like that. Right Thursday, November 16th. It's a fucking beautiful fucking day to be alive.

Today, I got to do this. I got to do this. I got to go see this fucking scumbag. I got to go deal with this fucking piece of shit and whatever. I got to pick the baby up at four. But hey, you know what? 20 years ago, I was fucking trying to stab somebody. Look where I am today. At least I'm living. I'm breathing. I'm healthy. I got my, you know, it's just that part of it. Yeah. Well, that's why I like working on a TV show every day or working with maybe with the baseball team. You bring that energy in. Yes, we're here. Push. People like that. They like that energy, bringing it, lifting people up, positive self-talk. You have to do it because it does work. I know it sounds silly, but it does work to put that, you're putting that energy out.

It really is an energy of, you're putting it out and it does, I'm not saying it comes back to you, but you do put it out. And people like being around it. That's the thing. People like being around that. That's, you know, it's like a coach. It's motivational, upbeat. It can be done. And you can kind of train yourself. I would think, at least to believe that it works, you know, it's not easy to do, but if you believe it, you know it's there. And that's what I, and I learned that from, I learned at Arizona State about the power of the mind being positive and visualizing because I saw it affect my pitching. I saw it affect my schoolwork. I saw it affect my confidence. I got everything out of, out of baseball at Arizona State that I wanted. And it's the, and I,

and I apply those rules today, like at the comedy store, playing division one sports was a big thing. And I happened to go to Arizona State where we have a lot of players in the major leagues. So I, and we had access to professional baseball coaches there. And that's where I learned the visualization. And then I see it around when I hung out with the baseball teams, the Yankees, the Dodgers and the Cubs, and there's something to it. So I, I'm not trying to figure it out still, but I know it's something there, you know, and I gotta apply it to myself a lot of the time. You know, it's easy to say, but, and you know, that's why I wouldn't mind being around in baseball. CNN did a thing that bothered the fuck out of me. It bothered the fuck out of me because

I felt that it gave an excuse. It had a, they had a docuseries called the dark side of comedy. The dark side of comedy? Yeah. Oh, one from comics and they discussed Robin Williams and the suicides and yeah, and the drugs and the Kenesons and all this shit. And I agree with a lot of part of it, but I recently dealt with some shit. I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. It started like in March and it went on till maybe the second week of July after I shot the Netflix special.

It wasn't pressure. It was just this doubt, this, this, this form of depression that came over me, you know, it affected my stomach. And it was just really weird that I found out from reading the old journals about a month ago, three weeks ago. Like, let me go back and see what I was writing in March. Yeah. And one thing about depression is depression is a motherfucker if you let him in.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So how do you let depression in from getting into your mind and not getting sunlight and not having contact? And I know all about it because like I'm telling you guys, I fucking hate driving. I fucking hate it. But those weeks that I'm in town all week, I don't have to go on the road. Sometimes I schedule something for Thursday. That's out of my character. And the whole week I dread it.

But while I'm driving in the 405 and bumping the bumper traffic, I go, thank God, I got out of the valley. Like, thank God. Like, thank fucking God. Like, enough is enough. That's the other reason why calling for spots at the store makes me get out of the valley. Yeah, we go over the hill every night. Every night. You know, I know I can't do it every night. But guys, I suffer from the same thing you guys suffer from. I learned about it 20 years ago because I get 30 years ago, I could stay in.

They could put me on a fucking island. That's my dream, guys. That's my dream. That my daughter grows up. My wife tells me she's going to go and live in fucking New York. And I fucking go, you know what? There's an island for 60 G's fucking. The Navy dropped bombs there 20 years ago and there's fucking nuclear reactive. I've got a little chip of the island.

Get some chicken coloreds. You can match. I'm the type of guy that could be alone one day with music marijuana. I swear to God. Drums. I like drums. Weights. Weights. A punching bag, TV and internet.

Internet or you will you podcast and parents? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, done. Lock myself in. Oh. I could be one of those guys that I could stay in. I could eat the same shit every day. I could eat a mortadelle or salami and American cheese sandwich every day. Protein shakes.

I could live on one every day. I'm a fucking creature habit. So I'm the times I scared myself with that shit. I scared myself with that shit. That's why I forced myself to get the fuck out. I forced, I went through that cocaine morning shit where you don't want to leave the house because the cops are watching you and all that. Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Ever since I stopped that, I forced myself out because even I always knew that that was the dark side of comedy. The dark side of comedy is getting into your mind, but it's not the dark side of comedy. It's the dark side of life. Yeah. It's the dark side of life. It's not the dark side of comedy. If you let depression end, so as soon as you start feeling that shit or that stuff that gets you all

around the boom, that's it. You're out of it. But go smoke a joint. Go for a walk. Go for a walk. Book a gig. Go talk to somebody. Go talk to somebody.

And I'm not talking about somebody that you pay. I'm talking about go talk to a friend. A friend, somebody at a Starbucks who's there every day who sees you just forcing yourself. You know, I do a stupid joke about the universe. It's very true. You get back what you put in. Yes. You know, you're lonely.

Go to a kickboxing class. There's eight people in there. You're going to drive with one of those people. That one hour of you talking to those other people that gets you out of your head. Your phone's in the car. Your mother's fine. The other person you got to worry about is your mother and your father. Everything else is bullshit.

One of the brothers ain't going to call you while you're in kickboxing class. Nobody's going to call you while you're in kickboxing class. There's times I go to like a G2 class and I'm like, oh, when I get in the car, there'll be eight minutes of messages. No. You ain't got nothing. Nobody called you. Nobody's going to call you.

But just a thought of getting away from the phone. Yeah. Just that other thing. Just forcing you away from that phone. One hour. It's in the car. And if it melts, let it fucking melt. I got insurance.

What am I going to do? But just getting away from- All this is lately is we have too much fucking information. Why do you think comedy is so big right now? Why do you think I'm telling you to do a show on a daytime? Because, man, I wouldn't fucking say this if I didn't believe in it. Five years ago, I would not believe the statement. Okay.

People need comedy. They do. We're telling the truth. People love it. That's- They love it. That's why, especially, we're on the front lines at the comedy store. We're here in Hollywood.

And I feel like if you have stage scopes- You're fucking just watching you interact with the donor Korean. Let's say you did. Let's say you went to the same cold water riverside. Next to the dry cleaners. There's a Krav Maga Jew place. There's a Chinese place. Donate in there.

There's a donut in on the corner. There's a Mexican joint there. There's a frozen ice. Shaved ice. Shaved ice. Those people are real Korean in there. I went in there one day to get a bagel. I asked him for like a fucking-

And the guy tried to sell me like that. That Korean is ruthless. He's like, put it on some pumpkin bagel. Listen, you don't put logs on pumpkin bagel. I'm from New York, you know what I'm saying? He don't give a fuck. I have no onion, but I have blueberry. Put logs on blueberry and it's good for you.

Oh, good for you. You go in there and torture that dude every day on camera for three minutes. That's the series. For four minutes a day, people will pay a dollar to see you go into that donut place and ask that motherfucker, you got any cinnamon donuts? You know what I'm telling you? I tell you yesterday I got no cinnamon donuts. And you just run from there.

But I know- Every day you open up and say, please tell me you don't ask that guy every day for like a- I would. If I knew that that China guy would get pissed off, I'd walk in there every day knowing that he didn't have a donut. And then I'd send them people in there.

Like that's the best. So you torture people to keep your brain sharp? Like you torture people just to like entertain like, like you're like just doing it to like- It's worth a few page rounds. Oh my god. You have no idea how much fun you can have on the internet today. If I had the time and the energy, I'd just go into yum yum every day.

The yum yum minute. Just go in there and torture them. How many calories in the donut? And then like looking at you like, you know, another language. You go in every day and you ask a different calorie. You never get a donut? But that's the thing now today. How many gluten-free donuts?

Gluten. You have almost like no reason to be, not saying no reason to be depressed, but there's so many outlets before like, well if you're staying home, you were sick, what do you have like 10 channels on TV and that's it. Now you've got so many, yes, there's a lot of drawbacks to the internet and social media and all that,

but it is, there are a lot of positives associated with it. You just got to be able to maintain it and also know that it can be used for some good. Well, I mean times have changed. I don't know, but you guys are in hotels every week pretty much. Whenever I go to a hotel, I used to love, I would have TV on, I'd watch sports center, this and that. I don't, I'll be in a hotel room for a weekend and not turn it on.

See, I watch TV. I watch myself to leave a hotel room every two hours. Smoke a joint, that's why I bring extra weed. I smoke a joint, I get the gym. I forced myself to leave the room every two hours and I forced myself to leave the hotel room for a patch. I forced myself on Saturday to go to lunch with somebody, you know, somebody from the club, the club owner.

I do little things, but just enough to scratch that edge. I can't go to a baseball game for three innings, seven innings. You know, I do enough just to scratch that edge. So when you go to town, you'll schedule appointments with people to keep that human contact going. Right, I'll schedule a movie tie class. When I went to Jersey, we got to go private. You get to class in Jersey on Friday.

You know, I went to the gym on Saturday. I forced my, I have to force myself because if not, I will sit in front of that iPad and I will watch, you know what, I love about the road. What do you love? You know, when I go on the road. To watch your iPad? No, it's not to make money.

I love to meet different people and make people laugh. I go on the road for Friday night. That's your night? That's my night. To go do a great show, make them laugh, meet people, memories, put out good energy. And no, I don't have to do shit on Saturday morning. You like that?

That means I could go back and anything goes on Friday night. Okay, that means that if you come up to me and give me two Vikings, I might go back to the room and pop one, put on a pot of coffee, get a notebook out and I'll watch. I swear to God, I got no reason to lie to none of yous. I'll watch five episodes of Sons of Hanukkah. Jesus. Lee, how much do I yell at you for watching TV?

A lot, yeah. A lot. On Friday nights when I'm on the road? Yeah. That's me. That's my gift for leaving my family. I get a table, I put my feet up with a pillow to elevate above my heart because I've just been on stage for two hours and I just sit there.

I got to bring a vapor pen, I bring nicotine gum. Sometimes I bring a bag of Doritos up to my room and sometimes I eat it. Sometimes I'll leave it for the maid. I get coffee going and coffee after the show? In my room. It's my night to do whatever the fuck I want. On Friday night after a show, I can't wait to get back to the hotel. Sometimes somebody will give me a pillow or something and I'll hold it

for when I go on the road to drop it that night while I'm in the hotel on Friday night. Like if you give me two Vikings, I'll hold onto them. And I know that when I go to Portland Friday night after the show, I'll pop two Vikings and go home and I'll scratch. And I'll watch Narcos and I'll watch four episodes of Narcos and not Blink and I. I could do that. That to me is fun because I know I'm going to get up at eight. I'm still going to go for breakfast and I'm going to go back to my room

and sleep another three hours. I'm still going to get up early and I'm still going to go to breakfast. I still force myself off to breakfast, walk downstairs. It sucks. But I make myself do it. Just to even talk to the waitress. Bump into eight. That was a good show last night.

Thank you. Then you go back to your room. Sleep for three hours. Get up. I'll watch a Narcos. Right. I'm out. Come back.

I thought that two more hours writing out. One and a half hours writing out, out. Go roll a joint. Smoke a half a joint hiding behind a building. Come back. That's what I do. I don't walk into the hotel with that joint man and the whole room smells. I get the thing and I put a rock on top of it.

When I come back two hours later and I get to take the rock off it and I smoke the other half. And how do you stay disciplined on all of this? Is this what makes you happy? Makes the shows better? You feel better? This is what makes the show better. This is what makes me better. This is...

We are creatures of whatever and we have to force ourselves. And I didn't know this. You have to force yourself sometimes to out of your comfort zone. Comfort zone is a big fucking word, man. That's an ugly fucking word. And once you feel yourself in that comfort zone, get in the fucking car. Get out of the comfort zone. Yeah, get out.

It was pretty funny. A lead to the show this week. And it was... You know, I fell in love with Brody 19 years ago at a bar in Gig Harbor. I'll never forget. And I'll never forget what he said, how he said it in the pause that he said it. That's when I knew Brody was real. You know, he was on stage and I told this.

He's yelling and screaming. And in the middle of it, he turned around and there was a bunch of photographs on the wall. He's up on stage yelling and screaming and he just stopped and he goes, how come there's no Jews up on the wall? There's next time I come here, there better be Jews on the wall. I'll never come to Gig Harbor again. I'm in the back with Josh Wolf. He's a kid.

I'm island. But I fell in love with you, you know. Gig Harbor, that gig was a gig of death. Yep, across the Arizona's bridge from Tacoma. It wasn't no fucking evening at the pops. You know what I'm saying? No. So the other night, Lee goes down to Eddie Bravo's 15th reunion.

They throw this poor bastard on stage while the UFC's on. He's up there and the Korean zombie gets knocked out and poor Lee's up there with his aim material in front of the screen thinking he's on Conan today. Somebody came up to me like, by the way, we're at the 10th planet party. We feel so bad for Lee. He went up this, I swear to God. That's crazy. I swear to God, they were like, tough spot.

Who the fuck did that to him? I survived. I did my stuff. But it's weird. As he called his friend Eric, gay Eric, my buddy Eric Rocha, and Eric bought him a beer because he was so depressed. He, you know, he felt it. And I explained to him last night.

I go, I've been doing comedy for 27 years. I opened for Rogue and I opened for Dice. I did all these gigs and I got to tell you something. Half of your career is those rooms. You know, when you get there and this and the Seattle Mariners are in the playoffs and it's a seventh inning and coming to the stage. Those tough gigs. And you hear like, boom, boom, we want to watch the game.

Put the game on. Well, they got to do comedy and also the only gets into an argument. They do comedy here. We don't give a fuck about comedy. All right, put the game on, but take the volume off. Uh-oh. Oh my God. Yeah, that's pretty much what happened.

Yeah. That's it. You know, and you're up there on stage dying a slow death. Thinking about career choices. You just went on a zip recruiter. You looked, you know, it's, it's fucking harm. But then you do a guest spot at the, at the underground. In Seattle.

You tell them, and that makes all that go away. Because your strength isn't from going on stage in the Seattle Underground. Your strength from going on stage at those places. The hell gigs. Where they're not. The youth hostels. Yeah. Well, they're not there to see you. Yeah, the bar gigs.

I'm here to get a gram of blowing. The gig harbors. My dick sucked. And a chubby Jew wants to go on stage and do comedy. Well, I got this chick by the ear. Yeah. I got this chick by the ear and some fucking Jew and a fucking fat Cuban are going to go up on stage and try to be funny.

People hate that shit, especially when it's unexpected. It's weird because I didn't, I didn't expect it one earlier that week and it went fine. It went pretty well. But then I was, I did a show on Thursday at a burger place, but it went okay. But I was talking to Jerry Rocher and the guy who runs the show, Justin. And he was saying. Oh, Bear Burger.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a good room. It was fun. I've done it twice. But they were saying that they did a show with someone who didn't get boot off stage, got talked off stage. And that's pretty much, I got, I had a section of the crowd listening. But what they were saying was it's not that they didn't like them until they were just indifferent.

They were just like the people, the crowd was just talking amongst themselves so loud that the comic got off stage. Well, in those rooms, it's where you learn presents. Yep. You learn how to fake the funk. You learn how to, it's a weird thing to describe. You have to learn how to overtake them without overtaking them.

Because if not, you're going to bottle thrown at your fucking head. That's the reality of it, you know? I've seen it and I've heard about it. You know, I was at a bar one night where they were flipping bottle caps at the comics. Like, you know, and they got like a red light on them. And you can see the bottle caps whizzing. And you can see the comics like ducking from time to time. That still happens?

I don't, you know, I, we don't, I haven't heard about it. Yeah. But there's got to be a fucking country bar somewhere or some fucking crazy bar somewhere that they're still, you know, throwing things at people. You know, when we used to do Moscow Idol, they would send you 25 shots of tequila with, with Tabasco sauce. Jesus. And you had to do them.

Oh my God, they blew you off the stage. Holy shit. And you had a half hour and the trick was to kill the feature and to just make the headline and go into fucking convulsions. That's what they wanted to do there. That's what they wanted to do. They didn't care about the company. The first time you did a shot of tequila,

you weren't on stage five minutes and they were giving you a prayer, what was it called, a prairie farm or a prairie dog. Oh my God. They would give you, see what it's called, tequila and Tabasco. Delete. Bellingham. No, no, no, no, Moscow Idol. Close to Idaho State.

Yeah, Washington. Idaho State University. Yeah, the vandals. Because that's the college that your blood so went in. Prairie fire. Prairie fire. There you go. Let me tell you something, Lee.

Think about going on stage. Okay. Oh my God. You're opening up for Theo Von. Okay. At this hotel and it's all college students, 200 college students and you go up on stage and five minutes into your act, the waitress comes up to you with a shot.

You can't tell. I'm like, what's in this shot? I'm not going to get the key one time. As soon as you turn on that shot, it's going to be a 25 and you can't get up because you won't get paid. You can't get up because you won't get paid. So they're going to, the club owners are going to say to you, you're only the 21.

I got to call the booker and see what they do. Oh my, so now you look like a fucking jerk off. So you have to either drink that shot and take what comes with it because they're not going to pay that. And your material is not worthy of anything. Just take the shots and talk about getting drunk with them. That's what your 30 minutes is going to be about. Wow.

That's what these road gigs are like. I did know, I did that Moscow eye the whole 10 fucking times. And after the third time I got it. Sorry, Charlie. It's not going to be any different. First two times I just bombed, I drank them. The third time I puked in the sink. I'll never forget that.

I puked in the sink. Jesus. And then every time after I just brought cocaine with me, and I didn't get sick anymore. The one time I had the bedspins. Yeah, I don't want that. It's fucking bad. And there were 10, the eight ball end in Missoula, Montana was like that.

There was 20 bars, that dog, as soon as you went on stage. Give them a shot of whiskey. Give another shot of whiskey. And you better drink them. God forbid you had to drive to another gig then at night. There's no, there's no drink. You don't even think about it. It's over.

You're sleeping in the car and you're gonna fucking drive 90 the whole morning. Well, I was thinking about this when you told me that Brody was coming in. I was like, you, Joey and Brody are probably two of the most comfortable people on stage. I feel like you feel comfortable on stage. Can be, yeah. And it blows my mind that you, Brody, will go on in the main room and do the drumming. I just did the main room for my first time ever.

And I got there like an hour early and was petrified. Have you always been that comfortable or did it take years to get that sort of like, that's a level of comfort that most people don't have? It took a long time, but you know, once I went for it, once you like take that milk and you pour it into that cereal, you like got to, you go for it. So I gotta be honest with you, you had it the night I met you. The night that you did that, you had that already. So yeah, I already had that.

I don't give a fuck. I'm shitting my pants. I don't give a fuck attitude. I could tell you were shitting your pants, but you were taking chances. Taking chances. But we were young comics. Yeah. In 95, I'd been doing comedy for four years on paper, but two years.

Come on, motherfucker. You want to do this about two and a half years. Come on, motherfucker. And then they featured me for Laurie Kilmartin, and I didn't go back to bold. I was like, I found a home. Right there. I was thinking about when I first found my real niche, like I was just going up there and trying to tell jokes and finding yourself.

And then one Monday, I got back with the stripper. She invited me to her house. We had tremendous sex. I fucked her in the ass, came in the mouth. Oh, fucking thanks. Nice. We went grocery shopping. I had 175 dollars to my name.

Groceries were 140. And she looked at me and I paid for 140 dollars worth of groceries. I had 35 dollars. We went back to a house. She made me turkey burgers with mushrooms and onions and with something on the side of salad. It was 630. My clothes were there. I was in a stay.

We were back together. And she started talking about some guys she had fucked. And we got into an argument and I'll never forget that. I said, can I at least get half the money from the groceries? And she goes, fuck you. Last time I paid for groceries. So here I am at the underground with my luggage behind the counter. Everything I owned, 35 dollars in my pocket, nowhere to sleep.

And I went up there on a Monday night and I said two or three jokes Lee. And I just went into this. For years I had that tape. I gave it to Joe Rogan. It was one of the first times that Joe Diaz came out. That was when the friend, he came out and went right back in. Like he got scared when I saw it on tape. It petrified me.

I went up there and said exactly what. Like I went up there and tried to be cute. And all of a sudden I go, who the fuck am I kid? I want to kill this fucking bitch. I just went on a rant. I just destroyed that room. You know, and I forget the bit I got from it. Like I got a joke from it.

I'm dating the stripper. We were in love. Everything was going great. Then I ran out of money. Something like stupid. And I just ran with it. And then I went into the fucking ball and chain, something. And then I went into Y.

And this is when OJ was hot. Yeah. And I started going into Y. Now I know why he killed that bitch. And people were like, but that was the first time that I had done comedy. It took me four years to really find my voice. And then I said, that's never going to happen again. Like I was so scared of that guy coming out.

And it took five years for that guy to come out again. Jesus. So you have it. It just never, the day it comes out on the way home, you're like, uh-oh, what the fuck happened tonight? So you know you have it. You can go into that gear. You can go to that spot.

So you, that was at the comedy underground? Yes. On a Monday night. That was the open night night. I had a thick bade sweater on with like a stripe on. I'll never forget that. I'll never forget somebody saying, hey, I taped that set. Me looking, I'm going, no, you didn't.

And they're like, yeah, I'll have a few at the end of the week. Nice. Somebody taped that set for me. And I popped it in and tears rolled down my face. Like I was like, oh my God. Like, who is that person? That club was the Seattle was just a great spot for me to start. And that's when you first got on stage, right?

That was pretty much. Yeah. I mean, when I moved back here, I graduated college, Arizona state, never did anything other than an acting class. Then I came back here in summer of 93, and I took a workshop at UCLA with Paulie Shore's sister, knowing that the comedy store sponsored it. So it was a way for me to get into the comedy store. I knew that it could, it was a way to possibly get seen.

So did the workshop and then every Wednesday, I drive by the comedy store one day, maybe I'll be in there. And then I did my graduating workshop there in the original room. It was packed. I did well. People are giving me business cards. I felt like it was a comedian. Then I did one open mic out in Chatsworth like next night.

And it was a typical open mic, which was like a, not a wake up call, but I didn't want to go through that being that I'm from the valley. I just got done playing baseball. It's going to be hard for me to have somebody probably not from the valley running the show, giving me like, hey kid, you know, whatever, you know, yeah. I knew the open, I just didn't want, I did one open mic to know it wasn't for me. And I went back to UCLA and I took the business of comedy class. I want to learn all about comedy.

And then the guy said, if you want to do stand up, you got to get out of Los Angeles. That's what he told me. Who taught the class to you? Danny Robinson, APA. No shit. Yeah. Do you still see him from time to time? Time to time.

Time to time. He still says hello to you? Yeah. Yeah. He's a really good guy. He represents Tiffany Haddish. Oh, he does. There you go.

Well, he taught the workshop and he said, it's good to get away. And then I looked into going either back to Phoenix or I had friends, but no real feel for support of art. I didn't feel that vibe when I went to school there. But my aunts and uncles lived up in Seattle. And they said, come up to, come up to Seattle. They support the arts up here. And then they had the Northridge earthquake in 94.

I was working at Macy's Bullocks over at Topanga, Promenade Mall. I got in the earthquake happened, got in the car and left and drove up to Seattle, stayed with my family out in Bellevue area. And then I just jumped into doing the open mics at the Comedy Underground. Just jumped into it, meeting people. Then I got a job at the Comedy Underground learning all. I just wanted to learn everything about comedy. What did you do with the Comedy Underground?

Just sat people on Fridays and Saturdays. Clay was the gent ran it with the long hair. I still talk to him a lot. Oh, really? Isn't he like in Asia or something? Yeah, he's in Asia, Indonesia or something. Yeah. He taught me all about.

Clay Jones. Yeah. Clay Jones. He was an interesting guy. And he taught me all about how the club ran and all the stories behind it. And I just learned about how to see the room, run a room, see a three-person non-showcase show. I learned about comedy there in Seattle.

And luckily, there's some great comedians and there was just coffee shops. That's where I learned to write. I learned to drink coffee in Seattle. The environment up there was really conducive to being an artist. And then we had the cable access, me and Tayna. We jumped on that. We did that. And it was just a big, it was a great community up in Seattle where I found my voice.

And then after three years, because I started up there, I could tell like I was only getting maybe guest spots, but I was itching to get out. I was itching. I made, I kind of like found my voice. I wanted to do more than you told me, Joey. You said, Brody, you got to go to New York. And then I went to New York.

And that's where I really like broke out and found my voice, just talking and walking, getting off the subway, the L train, and walking the Lower East Side with my headphones on and visualizing, feeling like, yeah, I'm cool. Okay, like giving myself that confidence. Because I had some based off the cable access show and mostly that, because I wasn't really getting great spots at the comedy underground. I mean, maybe a guest, I wasn't their guy.

And I understood. But when I went to New York, I felt that energy. And I really honed my voice doing the Lower East Side shows. And then I barked at the comedy seller. But I was so, because I thought it would lead to get in the spot, but, but I was intimidated by Estie. So I never really asked her how to get on. I was intimidated, but I saw the comedy seller bark them in.

So I knew David Tell, Judah, Gaffigan, Todd Berry, Marin. I saw how that room was run, but I still wasn't doing it. But New York is where, you know, I started doing shows, though, some alternative shows with Todd Berry and Marin and Dave Chappelle. And I was holding my own. I just felt like I can come back home to Los Angeles. And I have a marketable skill. And then my friends were coming out here that I met New York or working for shows.

So when I got here in 2000, I had a place to stay. I had a car. I knew my way around. And then, boom, I got a spot on CBS Late Night, Late Late Show at Kilborn. I did a premium blend. And then I got Best Damn Sports Show. And then the rest is history. So if you want to say that, but I kind of like New York is where I really like,

I honed it. And as a kid growing up here in the valley, I was just, I was just, I wanted to go to New York City. I wanted that gritty skyscraper energy. And that's what I gave them. You told me to go there. And that's where I like, just started talking. Like, that's why I did surf reality, because they weren't into jokes.

It was like talking. So I talk about what was on my mind, getting mad about just New York stuff or what have you. So I did that. And then warm up was helped me professionally, like being around celebrities or whatever. And then just doing shows and then going for it. And it's like, this is the major leagues. Now, once you're here in LA, to have thoughts like, I'm not confident. What are they going to think?

And I don't have that. It's like, I can't. This is it. So I feel like I've done pretty good in terms of like, I've a lot of like, my resume is wide and vast. I just haven't really capitalized on one thing and have done that, whatever that one thing may be. Well, I got to tell you something. I almost had a tear in my eye a couple of minutes ago.

A real engine Seattle, because, you know, I had this discussion with Duncan on his podcast, how I would love to tell you, there's not a God. I would love to tell people that there's not a God or a higher force or a higher power. But me going to Seattle was a pivotal point in my life. Like pivotal, like looking back at it, even though I got arrested six times, you know, it was the pivotal point in my life. Like it taught me, it took me completely out of my comfort zone. I still remember going to the underground.

I got into town at one in the morning on Friday night, slept, got up at 9.30, went and got eggs, and took a bus down to the county underground. And just looked in there. And it wasn't even, it was swanis. Yeah, swanis upstairs. And the club was downstairs. And all I wanted to do was to figure out how to get a spot. And I was there, the bar was closed, I'm looking through the fucking glass and my heart's pumping

because I'm at the fucking comedy underground. And then I went back Sunday and they told me to come back on Monday. And I thought it was the happiest day of my life, like that fucking Sunday. When they said come back on Monday and sign up for the open mic. And I signed up and the guy was great to me. And I gave my drop to them, Rick Kerns, and the guy's like, yeah, who put you up? And I was like, I do not believe this. I'm at the comedy underground.

Like I do not believe this. And then a kid walked in with a Boston Red Sox, had him backwards. I know who that was. And it was Josh Wolk. And there you go, just latched onto him. I said, you got, you're from the East Coast. Yeah, you got to film me and what's going on here. I came on heavy to Josh.

And I remember him being like kind of intimidated. Yeah. I called him every day for a week. Like, what the fuck? You know, call me back, you know, but I was just so ready. And then Carl Warman Haven, I will- Assistant manager. I will be.

It's like, I'll be in bed to him for the rest of my life. I can never say no to him if he calls me for something. Because that year and a half with him was an education, you know, that I was not going to get in Denver. I was not getting that comedy education in Denver. Seattle knew comedy, the arts, they, there's a reason, there's a reason why all those companies are up there. The contest took me to a different level.

Yep. Just doing the contest and coming in like six to seven took me to a different level. And then being there, like being the feature act every six weeks, every six weeks, I was a feature act. You know, I knew how to manipulate John Fox. I knew how to manipulate giggles. I knew how to, you know, get Bellingham.

I had a mom rotation on Monday. I would fax Pat Wilson. I would fax Donald Reed and Pauline. I would fax Alberto, who booked the music box downtown. You know, in those days, Monday at nine, I was already on the corner. I didn't have a fax machine giving them a quarter of a fax, a cover sheet and a fucking schedule.

Fake, fake schedule, completely fake, bogus. You know, thank God a lot of comedy clubs didn't have web pages in those days. Right. But I would like make up fucking dates. Like, don't give me like, let's say this week here, if I was home, I would say I'm in Carolina in New York. I would just flat out lie on the resume and then leave three weeks open so they could see I was open.

And hopefully they'd give me a Thursday at the music box or a Saturday. Alberto booked two things. Pat Wilson had like four things. Donna Reed had like eight things. Ron Reed's wife. Oh, she was a manager. She was a manager.

She was a manager, but she had Laura Crockett rest in peace. That bitch had. She had Josh. She had Josh, but that bitch had 15 rooms in those days. She had 15 to 20 rooms. She had those two Mexican rooms, that one room up in Kent. Yeah. She had rooms, Jack.

See, she didn't really book me. She didn't book me, but I got back at her. I would call her and ask her for guest spots. And I could feel her pussy is tightening up when I called. Because she hated me with every piece of her heart. She hated me all the way down to her toes. But I would call her three times a week and go, Hi Donna.

What up? What was the name? Was it Donna? Laura. Laura. How you doing, Mrs. Crockett, Joey Diaz? And I can hear her go. I'm going to go down to your club tonight and do a guest spot.

Is that okay with you? She would not pay me. She never paid me a dime. But till today, I thank her because her hatred made me a better comic. There you go. I proved myself to her that I was better than she was. She might have hated me, but I did a free spot in her rooms three nights a week. And the club owners would say,

Why don't you work here? Because she won't book me. I mean, Seattle was like that, you know? It's like they're, if you're a big, big guy, you know, an Italian guy. Seattle and Italy, it's like, the Italians, two different things. Well, the thing about you that I learned early on, the thing I learned early on was that, and this was a no brainer. I think it was a guy named, there was a magician who worked the triple run.

And he came in on a Tuesday and he was a sweetheart of a guy. And I had him sleep over. This is my first week of, first year of comedy. At this point, I was probably doing comedy in nine months. And I let him sleep over in my house. I was divorced and I had two bedrooms and the triple runs in those days went Tuesday night, Boulder, Wednesday night, you're off. So a feature act will pick up $50 cash and I have to pay $40 for a hotel room because you were off.

Right. You were off. So that means you had to pay for your own hotel Wednesday night. Then Thursday was Craig, Friday was Gunnison, and Saturday was fucking the edge of hell. Tell you right. These were hell. These were tough gigs. Just that the, the Denver run was a big week.

Craig, Colorado was the only room that in the thing, it said this room gets active. The stage was 30 feet away and there was glass and they would throw shit. Oh really? And they'd said, if something happens, go to your room, lock yourself in and call them. The fucking thing it said would just make you laugh. Like underneath the room, they said, question, this room gets active. So what I would do in those days would let if the headliner or the feature were cool, I'd give them my number and say, call me when you check out.

You got a couch to sleep on tomorrow night. And some of those guys with Doug Stanhope, the guy that took Freddie Prince's place and Chico and the man, I had a couple guys stay over. One guy stayed over. That wasn't the funniest guy in the world, but he was a magician comic and he was kind of a nice guy. He gave me a list of bookers, you know, like those guys that have those sheets. Yeah. We went to the printing place and he made like 20 sheets of bookings.

But he told me something. I said to him, do you think I should go to New York? And he goes, why would you want to do that? There's a thousand years in New York. He goes, there's a thousand years in Boston. He goes, you got to find the market where there's nobody else like you. So you could shine. You could, you could be unique and people will hire you.

That's why when the opportunity for Seattle came up, I was like, I'm going. Yeah. Seattle, it's because this is the same thing I told you. And they also told us to Mitch Hedberg. Oh, the reason why I told you guys this is because they had a thousand of you out here. There's a thousand goofy white guys. They don't have that in New York. Now they do.

Now they got everything in New York. Right. But not 20 years ago, 20 years ago, there was a lot of guys like me and everybody talked to the audience, which is a bad habit that you pick up in New York. You talk to the audience. So the coasts were different. Yeah. So when I talked to Hedberg, God rest his soul.

And I told him, there's nobody like you in New York. He hit in New York. Went to New York. Because there's nobody like you there. That's where you're going to get love. Whether people like you, it's no love. I knew when I saw you that there wasn't nobody like you in New York at that time. Yeah.

Now there's a thousand guys trying to be Brodie Stevens. They don't work. You follow me and then they become themselves. Yeah. You know, when we all start, we start being somebody else, then we become ourselves. We evolve into ourselves. I just think like comedians, I try to send them to New York City, try and spend some time there, go there. I, you know, moved there.

I became, I lived there for three years. I wasn't going back and forth. I was living there and I got to experience that New York. Lifestyle, taking the subway and being, you know, you could did it. It wasn't like who you were, it was what you were. You know, people, you were like, you didn't, you could, didn't matter what you looked like, New York, nobody cared. Whereas LA, I grew up here in LA.

I went to school in Arizona. It wasn't, it was not completely different from New York. It's completely different from New York. Just New York just really opened my, gave me that confidence. If you can make it to New York, you can make it anywhere. That's what they say. And I just recently went back to New York last month and I felt that energy again, just walking around that city and, you know, getting out of Los Angeles here,

getting out of the valley, just getting, getting into that and getting off the internet, getting out of your head, walking that city and you're feeling, you walk in, you can, and it inspires you and, and you start saying to yourself, I don't need to have these meds in us. I don't need to have all these things and overthink it. You jump in and you got to sink or swim there. It's good for you. I think everybody, I think most comedians, comedians should strive to live if they can

there for a time. I did, yes. I did a 10 month stint there in the beginning and it woke me to fuck up. I get, let me know who the fuck I was or what I wanted and what I needed to do to get to my goals. Like in that, that's why I went right back to Denver with a firecracker in my ass. And I went to Denver and I worked every night and I took that work ethic up to Seattle. And I just, in Seattle, it was double the work.

Right. So now I had double the payload, you know, no matter what you do in life, you have to sacrifice man. And you have to get out of your comfort zone to get to where you want to be. Whether you're an artist or fucking, you know, you're, you play the trumpet, but you play the trumpet in fucking Louisiana, not Louisiana in Utah. Who wants to listen to a trumpet in Louisiana? You got to go to a jazz bar in Minneapolis or a jazz bar in New Orleans or, you know,

a jazz bar in LA, you know, sometimes you got to, and then people can't make that step. So they never fulfill what the fuck they want to do. You know what I mean? When you came in tonight and you said you got off those mats, I got to tell you something, Brody, I'm proud of you. Thank you. I'm proud of you. And I'm proud that, you know, like you said, well, whatever, I'm calm.

And one thing about me is, man, I put myself in the worst case scenario. And I told Jesse, you know, and it was a joke and we laughed. You know, a couple of years ago, you were in a rubber room fucking squatting imaginary flies. You know what I'm saying? Are you in a rubber room saying help? There's a fly who's talking to me. I was combative with the Filipino nurses at, you know, they threat me with a needle. But I was all, I go, I don't need to be here.

I go, I made a mistake. Go look on the Internet. I'm a good guy. I kept telling him, like, look me up. But that was a crazy time. But I was kind of like, to be honest, I, yeah, I couldn't believe that I was in the UCLA hospital. How many days to have you over there for? Seventeen.

No, they didn't. They wouldn't let me leave. It went from three days to six days to nine days. It basically. Did you make any meaningful relationships in there? Did you meet anybody in there that you've contacted since? No. One girl like attacked me over like chocolate ice cream.

I didn't. Seventeen days. Yeah. Now who knew about this at the time? Did your mom know? My mom. I mean, people knew, I think, because I was tweeting about it. I think I just needed to, like, dry out because I went off those meds called Turkey.

I made a mistake. I went to Ireland. I went to Montreal. They told me to take a victory lap. I'm having fun. I actually took a little less because I wanted to. I'd always had wanted to not maybe be on the Lexapro, which is common. But I also knew that going to Dublin and I was researched like, okay, if you want to

drink a beer, maybe cut back a little bit. I cut back and then I got sick in Montreal right after it was like a two week trip all together. And then they gave me the Z pack and I had strep throat. And then they gave me the Z pack. I felt better and I said, I feel great. I don't need these. I don't think I need the meds anymore.

I'm like through this period. And then, but here's the thing. I was just. I'm still laughing about 17 days. And you know, like one flow of the cuckoo's nest. Well, you know what? It was like, did you write anything about this? I wrote.

I have my notes somewhere, but I felt, I mean, I. We do a short film about your 17 day stint in there and you'll be brutally honest. Like what you did and shit in there. That's the secret right there. If we can recreate. I played ping pong. I smoked meth, methyl cigarettes. What's methyl?

Menthol. Menthol. Menthol. Listen to the radio, watch TV. You talk to anybody when you're in there? Not really, but I had a lot of visitors. A lot of friends who came by. Oh, Zach came by.

Nick Kroll, Steve Renazizzi. I didn't even know you were in there. This is crazy. This is the first time. Oh, yeah. I had a booker. They were like bringing people in, you know, we could have got you in. Worked you in.

And where were you? UCLA. Right over the hospital there. Ronald Reagan, I guess psychiatric ward. But I wasn't. I because I've felt that way before. Well, not necessarily. I just know not to go.

You just can't do it. I wanted to trigger that time. I think when I came back. So I want to. What do you need to avoid to stay off the meds and not end up back there? What is the back? Back, back, back at you. Flies talking to Chinese people.

Okay, so it's Feaster Famine on this one. Yeah, torture. I don't know. I mean, I should probably have some like a support system with this. But I'm being my own advocate. I know my body. I'm mature. I know choices.

I'm not saying that I won't ever go back on a medication. We'll see. But so far I'm trying to implement. Life skill, you know, like socializing, booking, working, being a being an adult and taking supplements, doing my comedy, believing in myself. I'm just calmer. My body feels better of this.

I'll say that for me to not go back. I mean, I never had a problem before or after I had a reaction to these medications is what I because I was never headed like this guys. I was never going to be like something like that. I went off them. It was just and I was agitated. It was like I attacked a guy at a couple Starbucks, a 7-Eleven. I was like a road rage guy, but I was just.

But did you get banned from the Starbucks for a while? No comment. No, no, here's what happened. I felt when I got back, I think my friend saw me and they were surprised like, oh Brody, you're not yourself. But I felt like, okay, I'm, you know, I feel better. I'm not the audience warmup guy. I'm Brody now.

I got this show on HBO happening. I have good things happening. So I came back confident and I think people were a little like taken aback that, oh, he's confident. We're not used to this guy because I did the TMZ show. They loved it. I did it that day. I did a taping.

I did a show at UCB and I did fine. I was just out of my character. They weren't used to it. And then when they questioned me, then I became defensive and my, I became agitated. So, and this was like a first time of it happening. And then you tie in the Twitter. That's the other thing. I had that outlet to go, you know, to lash out.

But I was also, I mean, I did stuff on Twitter also, you know, saying like F you. The Twitter thing was what I had heard that you were cracking on Twitter. I did hear that. I heard something about a roof. No roof. No, no, I was never, I never, I felt great. Not that you were going to jump or nothing that you climbed or something. No, no climbing.

No climbing. I don't know. You have a zipline release. You took it down. I don't fucking know. I did go on Twitter and I was lashing out. But part of it was because I did TMZ and these guys, and I felt like, hey, I did a good job. And these guys are saying I'm out of my mind.

F you. I know what I'm doing. And I just had all this confidence in not being on the medication to like hold me back. I was, I was basically manic. That's all. I mean, not that's all, but that's what was happening to me. And it was freaking people out. So they called the police as opposed to maybe saying, hey Brody, maybe we'll go to,

let's go to, you know, go to Santa Barbara for a few days and chill. It could have been handled that way. I looking back on it, to be honest with you. Um, because I've learned since like you could believe me, if I take Red Bulls and do something, I know you I could like get agitated. I was just, I was, uh, yeah, I just typical signs of stopping the meds cult. I could have, I could have happened to anybody. So I don't feel like I have that's something that's in me whether

going to happen. I don't think so. I would hope not. I don't know. We'll see how I deal with with stress. That's why podcasting, that's why having a support system. You know, I started doing the periscopes after all this to check in and be more, you know, and be more present and walking, making appointments.

The periscopes are brilliant. That's brilliant. I didn't know you used it therapeutically also. I did that a little bit after. Yeah. Like, uh, this was like a year or two after, but definitely like walking became therapeutic, like getting out of the house. I learned to get out and walk and go to the Starbucks.

People like associate me with going to Starbucks. That's because I walked to it. I made it known like I'm known for being out. So you're forcing again, you're doing what we discussed early on. You're stopping the motherfucker before he even shows up. Yeah. You're stopping depression before he even shows up. You're stopping your mind from going there before they could even take you there.

You know, which is always, that's, I've learned when your mind is taking you there to take it somewhere else, trust me, took me 30 years. I'm no psychotherapist. I just know if I wait, if I go to bed and I wake up at three in the morning with something on my mind, I did that for years. I did that for years, probably. And I would go insane and pace and then one night I took a notebook out. And I wrote down what I was mad about.

Go smoke, go make a cheese sandwich, come back and read it. You'll fall right to sleep. But a lot of this depression, for me, if, or I'm susceptible to some of that, if I am, so it's, I think it's a lot of its career, fine, it's like that sort of thing. These are not irrational thoughts. So some of these thoughts about like money or career, I can rectify them by taking action. So for me to go, hey, I'm gonna, I need a pill or I go need to talk to somebody. No, you need to go book a podcast.

You need to go show your face. You need to go for a walk. You need to sign up for a class. So I'm implementing, you know, those activities to, to stave it off. And I, you know, I get down on myself. I've always been somebody we all got, we all do. I've always been that, but I'll say this, like, I'm lucky. I'm grateful that I have the, that, that I've made, you know, I've, I've been able to do

comedy and I can perform at the comedy store and I can go places because it's, it's an outlet. It's, it's not therapy. It's therapeutic. And I know it helps other people as well. And I think today with it being so negative out there, and if I can share some of my, some of my philosophies without jamming it down their throat, but baseball's fun. I've been around successful baseball, successful TV shows, successful comedians podcast. I'm sharing that.

And then the comedy store being the hottest club. And if you have your name on the marquee and you're, have a spot at the comedy store, that means something. And I know that, and I try to share with people how I might think, you know, like, I'll even joke. Like I got a, you didn't laugh at that joke. Well, I get free Red Bull. You didn't laugh at that joke.

I park for, I park wherever I want. So why don't you do what I do? It's kind of a joke, but it is a joke. But I think that, yeah, I'm lucky. I'm lucky, but I'm just, you know, lucky. We are very lucky. Very, very lucky. Just the fact that we were together in Seattle.

And you ready people? Grab a pen and a piece of paper. 1997. Even before I got there in 96. I got there in 94. It's 90, it's 2018. So we've known each other. We've been in this struggle for 22 years.

We've been apart for four of those years. You were in New York. That's, we're very lucky. We're very lucky. There's a lot of people that we were up to in those one night in that 16 list. I'll never forget that. Listen, man, when I'm in that fucking old folks home and my memory's gone and I'm dying, I'm going to think of those Monday nights.

They were great. They were very, very special to me. They were your whole week. That's what people understand. That's what sucks about doing comedy in LA. That you don't have a home club and you don't get pushed apart by your peers. Because in Houston on Monday nights, you had to show up every Monday with a new five ministry. Your peers forced you because of that.

You looked that fucking bad. So, you know, we had that. We had that every Monday. You had to show up another three minutes. Yeah, you could show up with some of this shit you did last week, but you better show up with something to fucking kill them. That was your goal on Monday. Two minutes.

So you only had six minutes, right? Yeah. Six, eight, and then the close of the 15th. Oh no. The open mic you'd get. Six a piece. It was, I think it was five, maybe six. Lighted five, six because they were training you for the Seattle Comedy Competition.

Okay. Remember the Seattle Comedy Competition was five, six the first week. Lighted five, you got to be up by six or you got a point taken away. So they trained you for that, to do the open mic system. So, I mean, just for that alone, if I don't wake up tomorrow, we still had the opportunity of growing together, going through. I mean, I got locked up in jail for 30 days in Seattle. You got put in a loony bin down here for 17 days.

It's no difference. What happens? We all had our fucking shortcomings, but what's important is that we're still in LA, we're still doing spots, we're still relevant, and it goes back to those Monday nights. Yeah. If you go home tonight, smoke and joint, you really think about what we learned on those Monday nights. Just torturing Rita O. Taking her pills and eating her pizza and her nachos.

We would eat her nachos and Rita O was the local tranny. Good nachos there. Good nachos. She was up. We had Bill the bartender laugh. Bill the bartender. I still remember his girlfriend and Clay's girlfriend nodding from heroin, sitting there on a Monday night, opening my two chicks like this.

Waitresses. I think I remember the hot Asian. There was a hot Asian waitress on Monday nights. Yeah, I remember. And there was Bill's girlfriend, and then we'd go upstairs and that bartender fucking hated me. Anthony. Anthony. But I had a tab in there, and I started when we're going upstairs and seeing Seahawks.

All the baseball teams. Bowls and all the baseball teams. It was, and you know what? There was no ATM card. There was no car. There was no HBO. There was no Netflix. I lived in an office a little bit smaller than this one on the floor with three or four

tiles as a pillow. I have a blanket and my clothes next to me on the floor. And those are the happiest times of my fucking life going down there on a Monday night. Yeah. And then we would leave there and go somewhere else where they had cages. They had another open mic on Monday nights. Oh yeah, I didn't really do that one. It was an art bar.

It was Newtown. We'd go there and they had chicks and cages. That was always great. While you're on stage. While you're on stage. That's always great. You know what I'm saying? And then we got the Tacoma contest.

Yep, we're going to Crossroads. Crossroads. She contacted me recently to say hello. She's still around. So listen, man, you know, when you get a check now or when something good happens, I want you to remember that you earned all this. There's no reason to ever end up for me when I get something, this Netflix, but everything goes back to those Monday nights in Seattle.

So I'm thankful I had that. And I had that scene in Denver before Seattle, but nothing beats my comedy. Those two years, those 18 months I did in Seattle made my mind become a comic. And I'll never, ever, ever forget that. And you were part of that. You were part of it. Yeah, just they were so into the arts with the coffee house, the weather and the late night diners and just the characters in the scene and the cable access shows.

And they watched it. Seattle really supported that stuff. You couldn't do that in Los Angeles or it was a big city, but it was a small city. And it was, you just knew you were doing something right. It was on the, and in Seattle, you know, it needed, I guess Grunge was just dying out, but there's just something to think of all those guys who were there at that point, Mitch Hedberg, you, myself, Josh Wolf, Craig Gass, all those comedians,

they're still working like they do the cruise ships. They do all the corporate stuff. Seattle. David Crow. David Crow. Oh my God, the Hawaiian kid. Kermit Appio. Kermit Appio.

Vince Vaughn's way like. Vince Vaughn's way still around. Yeah. He lives in Santa Monica. I don't know if he's doing comedy anymore. So I'm on faith. I think you got a new hip. Did he?

Yeah. I was talking about on Facebook, but there's just characters in Seattle that you wouldn't get. I would say like, yeah, you said maybe a Denver, you wouldn't get a more Phoenix. You wouldn't. You're Dallas. The one I think about a lot is the cook at the underground downstairs with the long hair. I remember.

He was, if guys, he was one of the most interesting guys I haven't met. We don't have time to go into them now, but. What was his name? I have to call Josh. Okay. He had long hair. I remember. I remember his face.

I remember his long hair and the nights that I couldn't make the bus back to Belleville, wherever Josh lived. Bellevue? Bellevue. I would stay with him. Okay. And I can't tell you yet. Every time I stayed with him, it was a different adventure.

First, he had no heat. He lived in the warehouse, two blocks from the thing. He had two broken windows to air. I remember it snowing. And you know, by the window, there was like three inches of snow. It's hard to sleep. And I'm in a corner with 10 blankets on, my Jacqueline. Do you know, I felt, I got so high in his apartment one night that you had to go take

a shower because he lived in a warehouse. You had to pull the thing up in the elevator to go upstairs. And there was three people on the floor, but one shower and one bathroom. And that one day I was walking towards the bathroom. I just remember this. And I fucking was hungover. And I was so fucked up the night before, that before I went in the shower, I passed out and went through this sheet rock.

And there was an imprint of me going through the fucking sheet rock. Until this day, it's probably still me just dipped over and broke the fucking wall. But it was an imprint. You can still see my head where I went through the sheet rock. And he woke me up and they threw me in the shower. Jesus Christ. Crazy times before social media, before all of this technology was, it was a simpler time. It was.

It's tough to be him now, man. Lot of information. Lot of, I've seen in the last three years, I've seen, I've seen a lot more people go crazy than I've ever seen in my life. I can count them on two hands. And you think it, you think it has something to do with social media. That's one of the conduits for it. I think that it's

rolled around. It's everything that's going on. Social media, the way the news is portrayed, the way people are acting, the political climate. I think that it's just people losing their minds. I see it every day and it's sad. It's sad. But hey, I'm happy you're off the meds. Thank you.

And I may go back on, but we're good now. So for right now, you're balanced. Balanced, exactly. You have a support system with me. Thank you. You have a support system with Josh Wolf. Yep. You have the economy store and that's the most important thing, man.

I'm happy you're still doing your thing. You're always welcome on the church. Church of what's happening now. And fuck it. Keep doing what you're doing. If next time you go to, if next time, God forbid, I'll go visit. Oh, you'll visit. Okay.

We'll get you booked. How fucking, I'll smuggle something in to keep you happy. You know what I'm saying? A line of coke, something to keep you going. I love you, Brodie Stevens. Thank you for coming on the church, brother. Thank you, Joey. Thank you, Lee.

I want to thank Brodie Stevens. I want to thank my man, Lee Syed. And I want to thank you guys. I also want to fucking salute the soldiers. Happy Veterans Day populated. Thank you for your duties and thank you for putting your ass in the line for fucking pieces of shit like me. But anyway, talk is cheap.

Listen, next Thursday, Wednesday night, I'm also down in Irvine before Thanksgiving. But what I did was I had a second show Friday night at 9 45. Perfect. It's Joey Diaz in the church fucking all stars. Tremendous lineup. Lee Syed will be there on the drums. It's going to be great if you're not doing nothing.

The night after Thanksgiving, you want to get out of the house. 9 45. Perfect. You don't have to fucking drive in traffic or nothing. There's going to be like fucking stealing. We crack a couple of jokes. We get out at about 11 11 15 and everybody's happy. You can make the flea market on Saturday.

All right. And don't forget Portland is sold out. I don't know what the fuck to tell you. All right. Besides that, I love you motherfuckers. Don't forget. You know, the church, we got sponsors and they're the best sponsors in the world.

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And get 10% off, all right? I want to thank Tushy. I want to thank 23andMe. And I want to thank Blue Apron for being the best sponsors in the world. Number two, I want to thank you motherfuckers that came out to the shows in New York. And number three, I want to thank all you

motherfuckers that watched the show and supported us over the years. You're some bad motherfuckers. Again, Brody Stevens, Joey Diaz, and my main man, the Christkiller, Lisa Ayat. I'll see you motherfuckers Thursday. Kip Top, Magoo, ready to go. Stay black.

Kick this fucking mule, Lee. To pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Some somebody, twice as smart as I. A somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me. Who'll leave you to learn that misery loves company. Wait and see, I mean, I want to be around. To see how he does it when he breaks your heart to bits. Let's see if the puzzle fits so fine.

And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet. As I sit there applauding from a front row seat when somebody breaks your heart like you, like you, profile.