Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #636 - Sin Quirin and Cesar Soto

Episode Date: November 20, 2018

Sin Quirin, a grammy nominated guitar player who plays and writes for "Ministry" and "Three Headed Snake", and Cesar Soto, a guitar player for "Ministry" and "Three Headed Snake," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by: My Bookie - Join now and MYBookie will match your deposit with up to a 50% bonus of your first deposit up to $1,000. www.mybookie.ag. Use Promo code CHURCH to activate the offer.   Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.     Recorded live on 11/19/2018.
  

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So Monday morning my main man sen hey from fucking uh What's the like 22 bands ministry ministry being the main one three-headed snake three-headed snake and his compadre Caesar Caesar We're here without a sessile. We're here on a monday also Also for ministry and we had a snake. How long have you been with ministry for? For you going on going on four years in uh, february, but we've known each other

Um, almost 20 years almost 20 years. Yeah from the neighborhood. No, we were in uh, we met on tour when I was in Society one. Yeah, you were in uh, I was in a van called pissing razors. Yeah from texas. I'm from opasso So I've known this stage for yeah We met like on tour When we were touring in like fucking station wagons and shit and like literally like doing the country like that And I thought we were in luxury and we were in the shitty. Uh, I went to bago harvey. Yeah. Yeah Remember when you were you were at that level that that's it. You were ready for led zeppelin led zeppelin move over Yep, we're showing up in a fucking uh

83 went a bago and 83 went a bago with a fucking replacement flat tire. Yeah, that's just getting you there After that, you don't know what's gonna happen. Exactly. I'm saying using the stone from into a room full of cocksuckers and have an apartment for a week You don't know you really don't know what a gamble What a fucking gamble to put like it your life into like especially back then man, you know You know this when when when you tour when you first start touring You end up crashing in people's places and on the floor and fucking in bathtubs like people you do a gig You rarely make any money back then it's just enough to get you to the next town Like you barely make gas money to get to the next town and you end up meeting people

And then they're like, hey, you know, uh, if you guys want to crash at my place, you know, it's crazy. Is it not crazy? No, dude, it's nothing crazy and it's like and people are doing blow and like people it's like all kinds of insanity going around Were you staying in the same city more than one night or is it all one nighters? Uh, it depends sometimes, uh, like on this tour we got coming up. We're doing a couple of uh, Same city two nights But it varies sometimes we do Oftentimes it's one city one night and then after the gig Crew packs up and then you drive all night

And then wake up in the next in the next town Fuck yeah, and then back then I mean, dude, no fucking crew like you're you're you're setting up your own shit You're selling your own merch. You're driving yourself like taking like turns, you know what I mean? Like driving all night. Um, we would have shifts and who's getting fucked up tonight. Yeah, who's staying sober tonight to drive Yeah, it was fucking crazy back. I remember taking the gig. I was living in seattle. I was just starting to cook. I was doing comedy four years I took a gig in alaska and actually Alaska And you know, it was just a fucking bar Nice, you know, it was just a stage with a bar

And it's what's the ratio in alaska Men to women like yeah, it's something crazy. This is a this is 96 There was like three fucking women for every 20 men so uh, I guess Something happened The whole town

thrived off fishing So when the boats came in The hottest strip club in the nation was that strip club. Sure the hottest bitches from no way really why up to alaska For two weeks to take those fucking Fishermen's money and shit like that. Oh, yeah So we were there during that like when the fisherman ran and people were spending But I'll never forget like I was going to Alaska like fuck my career isn't the way up, you know

And we get there and the the condo was A room that had been fucked in and sucked in They had used it for pornos People got shot in the ass People got put in there that were dead for three days And they had a broken window Had a broken window someone flew out of probably no like a like a piece of window was broken out of the glass It was like, you know, so the whole night you froze to death

You had ten blanket on a hooded sweatshirt And they even had a heater in the room. It didn't matter. You know, you're in fucking alaska, you know It was dark all day like it was that time of the day. We didn't know what time it was I still remember those gigs like whenever I go to do something now And I go wow, look at the it's a theater. Yeah, I think of one of those Automatically one pops up that goes, ah Yeah, I paid my sins for this show. Yeah, the reason why there's 1100 people here Is because that time I slept in a room. Yeah with uh, no fucking window, you know, whatever

I remember we're walking around in uh, where was it man outside of boston? What's uh, what's that place that we play? Worcester? Yeah, and Worcester and me and sin were walking around We saw We had a day off there the day before our show and it was all these vans outside of the venue and all these dudes hanging out in vans and sleeping in vans and we're walking by and we're We're talking about those days and we're like you remember those days man and Good days, you know times you're remembering you're like, you know

You you paying your dues. Yeah, you have to go through all that shit to to be able to to to be stuff at You know at the At level now next level stuff and but I mean, you know, I mean we often remember those hands or next level stuff Unless you go unless you go through that. Yeah very much so dude I remember being in a van and and like touring in a van And I was comfortable in in this in the space in beyond the floor in between both benches That was like my space and I was like I picked that space because it was like the warmest space on the floor In the winter and I was cool with it. I was like

That's cool. That's like my bunk right there. Yeah, you know with like six other dudes But that's that's the way it was back then once you one try that once you have that certain belief That Something could happen Your life becomes unstoppable like it's like Everything in your life stops politics sports You know, the only thing that matters is your mom your dad what your brother's doing And whatever heart you picked. Yeah

And you sometimes you even ignore your health. Oh, yeah, you know, you ignore your health You drink too much you do blow you eat fried foods. You ignore so much of So many aspects of your life because of you falling in love So deeply with this belief That this could possibly happen. That's true. And then every six months you climb a new ladder Your agent calls and says, hey, you're not doing uh fucking Ogallala, Nebraska this week We made a detour you're opening up to such and such and Denver a band fell out Yep, and then you meet them and then they call you six months later and say, hey

You want to do a tour with us next, you know, you're on the tour with Allison chains Right and even though you're the first band that's throwing cans at you Doesn't matter booing you it doesn't matter you walk off that stage and you're like Allison chains is going to come in three bands behind us. Yep And next thing, you know, now you're the second guy on the bill And you're doing that for two years But you come out with an album And the album does well and you know, it's just such a climb

But then the drummer Wants to bring his Chinese girlfriend into the band like Yoko Ono So now you got to get rid of him. So now you got to start a whole new fucking venture. That's exactly what you keep going Yeah, you keep going and then for six months something happens The house you paid for now you can't pay the mortgage So now you got to go back into the studio and play the guitar and make believe you want to hear this idiot sing Yeah, why you yeah, that sounds great. I want a more Spanish sound from your son and you're there You want Santana? You want sin, right?

You want Carlos go Carlos? Do you want to call me? I'm sin Sin tana, you know sin tana. Are you know what I'm saying? But it's amazing what the life is and also you got a call from The dude he put an album on hits number one and you're the guitar player on the tour And here you are back again. Now you put together three headed snake And they're fucking rocking and now you know, it's it's such a fucking doggy dog And one day you sit there and you go I've been doing this for 27 years

These fucking vets go over there for six months. If they got PTSD I definitely got something I got something PTSD std something I got something I got something because I've been beat up. Yeah like beat up emotionally And even when you get to where you're going, there's more drama. Oh, yeah now you got 16 lawyers Exactly now you got 16 lawyers. By the way, you got to change the lyric in that song because Kmart will get mad. They won't put that out and now you're like, what the fuck? What am I gonna put instead of kmart shop, right? White castle, what am I gonna use? It's it never ends people think like

Bruce Springsteen, I guarantee has a problem with sure, you know, they've shown three movies about music in the last couple years And each movie had a conflict They wanted to do something the record label did not and they beat them Ray Charles wanted to do an album The record label said no Johnny Cash wanted to do life from Folsom The record label said no and queen wanted a durable hemium rhapsody And the people are like, we don't we don't we don't get it. Yeah, okay They said fuck no. Yeah, and they they went and did it

It takes all those steps and to be just I'm thankful every day that I'm storing comedy The other night somebody sat next to me adam The talent coordinator at the comedy store on saturday night And he said something and I go, you know, bro to be 55 And still be coming down here and doing spots Like that's fucking great. Fuck. Yeah

Most guys are 55 on a cruise ship Tap dancing and ships singing songs New york New york Are you fucking kidding me? It's true, man. I mean on a monday morning at 9 a.m. Stone to the gills Because the baby came to bed last night at night there. They got a stomachache and she was working She worked the attorney though. She worked me first. Yeah

She knows how to do it. I told her what about attorneys. Yeah How you got to have a juba from time to time you got lower your standards. You got to start low So now she comes to me with a bellyache. I got to tell the mother the mother's telling her now Yeah, so she's got it down So now fucking turtle fucking started singing songs at 5 30 in the morning. There's a turtle. She's got It's us singing some fucking songs. I'm having nightmares about fucking I'm in thailand in a cave with 12 kids I'm hearing this turtle

I'm hearing this turtle. Thank god. I had a pee Unless I might as well stay up. I had some coffee. I could do a couple bongas So she has you ask the mom for her. Oh, yeah, she comes to me with the stomach ache and shit And then she gets in bed and she's jumping up and down and the mother's like, I thought you had a stomach ache. I do And I always take blue. I always take jet blue. Yeah, and they give you a little package To go and mint and one of the things in the package. This is those things that you put on I think she put the last one she took it out and she sleeps Oh, she does so every night she has those fucking jar jar good boy things on

I'm over in the middle of the night. I thought it was sleeping next to a hamburger Wake up. She's got fucking things on I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with my life though? I gotta get it together Now man, everything you said though is true about uh, the steps and You know It for the past well, I started doing this professionally if you want to call it that at about 18 19

And it was always just fucking blinders for me. Like I you're exactly right in that you Forget other things you don't even think about other things because you're just focused on what you love to do and what your your dream is And um, you know relationships fucking fall apart Uh, everything just fucking people die. Yeah, I mean and you miss a lot of shit, dude It's impossible for us to like make plans Because you know, you think you so-and-so my cousin's getting married or so-and-so's birthday or whatever and they you know Everyone makes all these plans to do shit like that. We can never we never know where the hell we're gonna be at

And for us to get from point a to point b We know that we've got to do this no matter what no matter what is happening over here And it's it's a tough thing not everyone understands that shit and not everyone will make that sacrifice You know, I'm very fucking excuse though, you know, fuck. Yeah, you have to do anything. Oh, absolutely I'm already booked up Well, we're having a wedding rehearsal Wednesday sunday night at eight. Oh, I'll be in the plane I just got booked. Well, you're done. You're in no danger. We changed the date. Oh my my god They could change the day they times exactly and I changed the date too. So not sure got sick. I don't know what

I don't know what happened. So now I got sick It's hysterical like how Many fucking things people send Oh, and you really really really feel bad because We travel for a living So once we get off the road like we're like I don't want to see lax For six weeks. Yeah, I love that feeling of saying

I don't have to see lax for six weeks. I'm gonna have to see burbank twice. Yeah, you know, maybe A gig in San Jose. Sure. And maybe you do one in Portland But there's something about not going to lax for six weeks and then somebody hits you with an invite And you look at the invite And in your heart, you go, you know what? I'm gonna change who I am I'm gonna go to this family fucking thing And you look at it hard and hard and all of a sudden you look at the airlines And it's a little pricey

You know, it's not it's out of the range if it was more than two dollars It's pricey like damn. It's more than two dollars. Damn the price jumped. Fuck. I thought this would be like 350 And it's 400 Then you look at yourself getting in a cab Going to the hotel getting dressed To go to a fucking family thing where you got to talk and they're gonna answer questions Why aren't you married? Your grandmother's leg hurts Same question

Same question same question Then you got to get back on the elevator and get on a plane and go. What the fuck was that? I need rest more than ever, you know what I'm saying? I got a six-week tour. I got a right shit People really don't seem to understand that they really don't They don't understand the touring part Three nights in a row. You're not 20 no more. Mm-hmm. You need your sleep This fucking Al Jorgensen. He's out of his mind 12 hour rehearsals the other day You're like, dude, we would have to drink in the morning. Fuck. Yeah, but that's that's part of the process

Yeah, you want to be at that level You just want to take some time. I love these people. Yeah, we'll rehearse four hours. No And not without margaritas. You know everything's so meticulous. We need to make sure the photographers there Everything's so meticulous. You want to make sure that I mean you essentially you want to give People the show that they paid for really, you know, I mean, it's like sonically everything has to be there Our rehearsals are long, but they're long for a reason and it's it's to get everything perfect Precision is like, you know, that's Al's thing is precision You know, make sure everything is just play your fucking parts. So we used to we used to rehearse

a whole fucking month before the old tours when he was still in El Paso and Out there he had his own studio and shit like that a whole entire month We would rehearse before a tour and most bands rehearse a week Two weeks tops or something like that Uh, so he's he's always been very very on top of the band sounding

Fucking rock solid 100% like, you know, everything has to be perfect Um, and that doesn't happen with just a couple days and and just you know, oh, that's fine That's that's good enough. No, it's got to be fucking perfect consistent every night And um, you know, it seems a bit excessive to other bands, but this band has a lot of shit going on on stage There's a lot of moving parts that you know have to be on Fucking, you know 100 so that's why we rehearse so much. Yeah, it's not your traditional, you know Drums guitar bass vocal band. There's a lot of shit. Yeah, it's fucking everything from the visuals. I mean everything Everything that we do on stage is just it's

Mapped out planned out in sync With everything with the music the visuals are in sync with the music The vocals the shit that's going on behind us everything is in sync So that means that whole team has to be on the same page The entire step of the way So that Takes a lot of time, you know, it's a lot of rehearsing. Do you guys ever have nightmares that something's went wrong? Dude, I couldn't yeah past two nights. I could not fucking sleep to save my life past two nights

Yeah, so I guess Ten last night was like the second night in a row that I actually fucking got sleep because I was thinking about Everything that I had to go through in my head and shit. You know, I mean, it's just yeah Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, he's getting sleep It gets in your head. I can't imagine First off When I got into comedy the first 10 years it was seven nights a week for me It was something that rough. It was just another fucking day. Yeah

When I woke up in the morning the first thing I woke about was Where was I getting on stage number two was how was I gonna get 40 hours for half a gram? That was the truth. That was my day. Do you start in new york? I started in denver. Oh and then I got I got chased out to seattle and in seattle I came to life. It was the same grind, you know, were you living in denver? Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh nice. Yeah, and I developed an opasso Really, that's where I'm from the comic strip. That's where I'm from the west side. Yeah Bart reeds Bart reeds. Yeah, I came up and I did a lot of work there. It was weird that I'm watching narcos now

Yeah, and it's about opasso. Oh, yeah. It's really getting to opasso now and now they fucking Opasso was waiting for the dude for tremendous. I love all that narcos shit, but There's days I booked something And I'm not up for it to a fucking 10 minutes before the show Like 10 minutes before the show something happens. I put a smile on my face And I go, you know what I'm ready for freddy. I'm ready to rock. I can't imagine 13 people going through that same field. Yeah You guys do how many shows a week

shit Four or five Yeah, we'll have days off in between Some days we'll have two days off in between, but it depends on distance And if that day off is going to be a travel day or an off day in Whatever city we're playing in the next that's usually what it is if we have uh, if there's a day off It's usually a travel day if there's two days off It's definitely travel because we're really far away from the next destination

but um Yeah, there's some nights or some tours where you know, we do five six in a row bro What about driving to hungry on it on the last uh on the last we're Holy fuck that was how many hours that was uh 17 hours on the bus 17 or 18 hours on the bus With with 17 18 people like it's fucking brutal dude. We literally pulled up the crew unloaded Everyone was like super hungry. Yeah, it was raining. You know, I was I mean some nights, man. It's literally We pull up and Doors are about to open already and the crew is just hauling ass to get our game. Was it Bristol?

Yeah, where we like It was like 30 minutes before doors and they still had to set up all our stage and everything and Some of those drives are just insane, man. You just cooped up in the bus like, you know Already just it's fucking going stir crazy in there and then you got to be on To get up on stage and fucking, you know Like everything has been going great and you just got a fucking That smile on your face and get your fucking head ready. Yeah You're about to go up. Yeah

Why do you think I think because people always talk about the similarities between musicians and comedians The only thing the only thing difference that I am thinking about now is like the show It seems like the opening band usually gets shit on like opening people go for the opening comedians and something They'll laugh every time like every Time I hear people go into a concert like oh, we can go late. So into those opening We can get like it like they don't seem to get as much respect. Yeah, it sucks It seems it I mean to me it it almost seems like in a weird way It's sort of like this ride of passage kind of thing. It's just like every

Like when you're an opener, you just know you're gonna get shit on, you know that people are gonna even if you're good Like it just seems to be it to me almost like that whole paying your dues thing In a weird way. I don't know why that is but that's what it's been like. I mean when we were openers I mean, I remember it, you know, I remember getting shit on I remember fucking I remember fucking getting scissors thrown at dude. I was Dude, I had fucking in Philly. I had fucking scissors fly right by my head when we were the openers I've been burned with like Lit cigarettes and shit like yeah, it's just you know, why who knows?

It's just but it seems to be like that with with openers. I'm amazing a long time ago When I got into music It was the late 70s and the rumor was You had 30 minutes because the opening band I think I went to two of three shows with that attitude

And then black Sabbath came with van halen And the word already on the street was to make sure not to miss the opening band So we went and caught van halen destroy murder 20 minutes Murder he murdered yeah van halen was how black Sabbath was done But after that I made the point This is way before comedy was in my future I just made it a point to give the artist a chance church in the shot. Let me decide. This was way before comedy

Just some type of respect that I had because I knew I could never do what you do. So who the fuck am I? To go there and throw shit at you. Yeah, like I have never thrown anything At a concert I walked out of concerts But I've never thrown anything on a concert. Yeah Something about me that I always respected that I can't do what they're doing I can't do what they're fucking doing My mother used to throw chicken wings at rusty stuff I left be he played left field or whatever for the Mets

She threw so many chicken wings at him that they used to make us sit on the other side That's how pissed off. She had rusty stuff. Would she eat the chicken or would they be like she would eat it and throw bones at him Because fucking he missed the fucking foul ball one time and he fucking she lost the game So she hated rusty stuff. She best She bet the Mets or something like that I get that shit, you know, but I don't get I don't know. I don't get I don't get fucking

Not walking in while somebody's on stage. Sure. I went to the comic store the other night And I saw one of the managers a comic I had a talent coordinator in the back with their phones on And I sat back there fucking brewing If you know anything about me, there's a movie I'll call the family with the narrow One of the worst movies he's ever made with michelle pfeiffer and a hot little girl

But it's him in a situation In the witness relocation plan that it flashes back to him what he would do If this was his old life and he shows them stabbing people hitting them with pipes Putting them in truck cars Right there. I was stabbed off Like right in their chairs sat next to them Watch the show and then gone on stage like nothing happened

Like rambo style like this guy's throat slip this guy's throat stab this guy in the heart and just sit there And listen to all three of them gobble on their blood The fun stuff how do you still people go on stage after that? Oh like nothing On the way to the stage I wiped the knife on your shirt And then I walked out of there with the knife and crossed it off laurel canyon let the dogs find the good luck, bitch I'll bury that thing so fucking deep But it's like I I've always respected the arts. I don't know why like yeah I don't know why if you got something to show me and I go

I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. I'm not gonna echo you. I'm not gonna help you I'm not gonna write a bad review I'm gonna suck it in for a month and think about what the fuck I just saw. Yeah, trust me. I've seen some bad shit now You had a wrong you see some bad shit That you're sitting there feeling bad for the person like looking up psychiatric services Like this is fucked up that this guy invited us down here Hey, he's thinking he's gonna go away with this Music how bad of music have you seen? Oh, dude. Have you sat there and said

I don't know whether I should go up there hit him with the guitar Or take the guitar and teach him how to fuck at least get something out of them. Oh mcdonnell had a farm Anything is better than what the fuck they're playing up there. It's true. Yeah, I'm seeing a lot of shitty acts and But you know, I I'm the same way in the sense that I always give people Respect and I did I never once Even in today's age of like the internet and shit like that Like I'm not one of those to fucking go on and talk shit about this band because I don't like this guy

Like, you know, I mean like how that happens nowadays and shit like that like dude I've never if I don't like I don't like them like that's it it ends there like I'm not gonna what am I gonna do You know, I mean Or let alone fucking red. Yeah, let alone like throw shit at people or or do so. I remember Uh One of the early tours when we were out with twisted and we were opening for them The whole fucking floor would turn around

and just Have their middle finger at us just flipping us off Jesus our entire set Like imagine walking out just because you're the opener People would just turn around and just be standing like this Like well and you're playing you're up there doing your thing and and that's all you're looking at It's all these fucking middle fingers at you man. It's fucking brutal some of those early fucking tours, you know I remember the uh for the first tour that we did together, which was what almost 20 years ago or whatever I witnessed like this dude's band get totally shit on by one of the other

Bands that that we're all touring with and stuff and that was like on a nightly basis almost that was Fucking brutal. So we were like the we were it was a three Hosie three band bill so we're the at the time I was in the first band the opening band and then you guys were second And then there was a headliner and the headliner were just complete dicks to us and just you know every every chance they could Tried to fucking keep our money tried to just just everything and we were pretty green back then and we didn't know a lot of shit and you know You get taken advantage of and all that crap, but uh

Yeah, it was fucking those were crazy days That's when we were traveling in a fucking Ford Explorer six guys Six guys cross country across the u.s. Several times over in a Ford Explorer Are there six seats in a Ford Explorer? No, no, you make it work. Yeah No, I was trying to do the math in my head. I was like did they have a fucking place in the back So it's five seats in a place in the back. We got to lug it. Yeah, put exactly. Yeah, and fucking so you're back there cramp old Up you got you need 15 chiropractors You gotta stop at 18 massage parlors that don't give hand jobs

Just a straight not the fucking play the drug pretty much man. It's it's a fucking nightmare. It's brutal I lived in an office in seattle for 125 a month just like this lived in this office no shower they had a shitter and you know The gym was like the ymca two blocks from here

So if I wanted to shower I would have to walk in there in the pre times I was going to work out And they had q tips in those days. It was like it wasn't a y It was a little nice that had blow dry as a gel So I go on that you know saying the toilet paper was soft They had towels like a fucking So I lived in the office, but I showered and did my stuff at the gym It made me force work out It made me at the back for an hour. They made me go on the bike and lift weights

And then I would go in the gym, but it could be done. You know the the sacrifices That you put into it They don't even feel like sacrifices while you're doing it. Mm-hmm like if you look back They don't feel like sacrifices. Mm-hmm. It was like you were doing it the same reason why somebody would join a militia You know, they have a belief in something they believed that The us is evil Let's start a militia and and you have that belief you you're blinded by this. Yeah Dumb faith. Yeah, I've been astonished

for the last year and a half Of the question is what makes you go forward with this career? at the four-year mark When there's really nothing going on Well And you got to sell it to your parents You got to sell it to yourself. You know And you're a barista

You know, you're a fucking barista and you're living off of tips And you hate your job You hate everybody all you see yourself is on the stage Touring and shaking your head and chick sucking your dick Signing abortion fucking paperwork Yeah While she's yeah, like while she's crying. We got a little boy. Here's the way She's got Bob Segar on. What's that song? Bob Segar wrote about being on the road against being lonely

While she's crying. Yeah. Hey, you are serving a double double latte To some white guy that wants soy milk and you're looking at I'm like, you know what? If I had a guitar here, I'd bash it over All I want to do is play me. There's nothing worse than that feeling of being in that I'm ready for Yeah, and then your stupid mind, you're not even ready to work. You're just ready to start them You're ready to start them. You know what I'm saying? You get that one check And there's a sale at like foot locker

And you get yourself like a rock and roll shirt and you sit in front of your mirror and shit and look at yourself And you're like, I'm gonna make it And you're nowhere close to it. Yeah, you're nowhere close to it I'm remembering not being able to hold jobs down because I would say, oh, we have another couple of shows out of town Well, fuck I'm gonna have to quit this job and quit and find another job on the when you come back and Just doing shit like that. It's like, well, you know, like you're say to what? Why do we do it? Yeah, I remember going like doing this bar tour There's just really good dude Mexican dudes and Denver really helped me out a lot

He was a hustler, you know, there's some people in the business school And he would go to different bars and set up commie nights and some of them gave him 200 And some of them gave me 50, but he always blow dried his hair He'd have an entourage eight Mexicans with him and they all had the same haircut Fucking hilarious even the girls all had the same haircut and shit And you know me I did a thousand of his fucking gigs Like he booked different gigs and different bars

He's still at it. Like if you look at his facebook page, yeah Him and Lonnie the midget. Wow. He don't give a fuck. That's his name little Lonnie and him host Yeah, and they're always doing some type of event low riders Fucking tremendous man, I don't even know what my point was. I'm so fucking stoned Well, you were mentioning like you imagine like dreaming of someone sucking your dick Do you guys remember the first time like at a show? A girl like talk to you and you actually brought her back to the hotel Like I would imagine that'd be like a dream. You never forget. Yeah. I mean, well

I remember the first time and it's so it doesn't seem like a fucking big deal now, but I remember the first time um I got some some girls like uh backstage and got naked in the dressing room and shit on the road like it was the first time we were out of la and uh We were fucking this so stupid now, but like so we were we were I think it was in san francisco actually and this is I don't know over 20 years ago and um We were standing outside the venue Looking at the poster that was outside the venue, you know our poster and shit

And you know, we're all green and just taking pictures of this and these two chicks are walking on the sidewalk and they're dressed like really like like in business kind of you know attire and uh It was a blonde chick and like a Hispanic chick and um and they're standing there and and they're looking at the poster as well and they're like Oh, that's that you guys and we're like, yeah, and uh, what kind of music and we're telling them You know, it's like metal or whatever and they're like, oh, you know, we might come back tonight And we're like, yeah, whatever So they split so that night they end up fucking showing up to the fucking gig and now they're dressing like they're fucking

you know rock chick attire and um And so after the gig, uh, I remember the drummer and I walked down there and we were talking to them And we were like you guys want to come backstage? And uh, they're like, yeah, sure. So they come backstage and we had you know fucking they had drinks and and all that shit and uh I think my drummer was like, so, you know, who's gonna get naked first kind of as a joke But the fucking blonde shake is like fuck it. I'll do it

And she just starts fucking taking her clothes off and shit and uh gets completely naked and then the other one does and I remember I had those fucking disposable cameras at the time remember those fucking old school disposable ones and I remember like I was so fucking blown away that we had Naked chicks in our dressing room, you know out of town on tour And I was taking pictures and shit and there were mirrors like all the way around the dressing room when I developed the pictures You could see like just my stupid ass face and the reflection of all the mirrors dude Holding this fucking disposable camera and shit, you know, but that was like the first

You know time that that happened to me. So yeah, I I still remember that You know disposable disposable cameras and phone cards. Oh, yeah, dude Yeah, that was how he toured back then, you know, until you stayed in contact with those fucking phone cards used to kill me The fucking ripped you off. But unless you went to like Kroger And they they give you minutes. Yeah Those bodega ones. Oh, dude, those are a scam those bodega ones. Yeah the fucking scam. Yeah, yeah And they would say 10,000 minutes or whatever you're lucky if you get a fucking Call out of it, dude every call for a minute even if the person don't pick up

Just dialing even if the dude hits the answering machine. You have 36 minutes. I just had 40 fucking minutes. Nobody talked about it. You mother was fucked dude. I remember I remember back then like um we played a show in Cleveland and We ended up it was one of those classic things where you end up staying at a friend's house like right after the show So I go, hey, I'm gonna make a phone call. I'm gonna call my my girl at the time or whatever had a phone Had a phone card and he goes, dude Don't don't walk like anywhere around here. I was like, how bad could how bad it could be Cleveland?

Yeah, it's one in the morning two in the morning. I'm just gonna make a phone call. I'm at I'm at this like Lil tienda at the corner, right? and I'm on I'm on a pay phone And sure enough within like two minutes people started throwing fucking bottles Driving by throwing bottles at me while I'm on the phone. I was like, I I better I better go The bad idea you have one minute. Yeah, I better go Yeah, the road the road is an interesting place you learn

I said a couple months ago on the podcast once you put yourself out into the universe as a musician a comedian A drummer in a band once you put it out there you commit fully The universe pays you little by little it shows you signals To keep you alive It may show you a bed for three nights in some of these basement

You know, it's so weird that I had a friend that owned the comedy club After I played his club a few times we became kind of friends and he would tell me you want to come up this week You could eat and one of his friends was a woman One of the friends in the circle was a woman and one night went to the house to eat And she's like, why don't you leave? It was like Tony Montana I'm moving the guy goes down to Columbia to talk to him

And the guy tells him to leave a puccino with him She goes, why don't you leave your friend here with him? Yeah, he could sleep downstairs. He's a warm cot Plus I have a landscaping business And he could help me landscaping the daytime And that night he could do comedy locally And I was like sure and he's like that'd be a great idea because it's on my couch to pay in the ass First three nights have worked out great The next morning one morning I wake up. I hear the deer open the door open up

She would get in bed open my legs suck my pipe And then she'd go upstairs and make breakfast with the kids like nothing happened This went on every time I slept there. She wouldn't say a word about it Nice come downstairs take my dick out suck it like a savage I'd squirt she was going through a divorce. Nobody do nothing. Wow I go upstairs eat breakfast mingle with the kids. Nice one of the kids hit me up about four years ago on facebook How you doing? I'm all grown up now

What'd you do to my mother in the basement? I Respond it was fucking crazy. Yeah, then how really was crazy. Yeah, and we stayed friends I remember being at her house when I auditioned for the soprano after first time And her helping me with the lines and me taking a bus the next day to new york Wow, she was a great lady just a great old if I was 38 35 she had to be 46 still looking good. Nice. Well, but it was weird she'd come down The door would creep open like I was sleeping at Cosby's house

She would pull out the blanket take out the hammer And I had already banged on after I had that coming taste to it. She didn't give a fuck She sucked that pipe dry again She wouldn't even say good morning. She wouldn't even talk just go right to it suck it put it back like where it was Cool drink the milk of death on the way up the stairs And then it could break for us for the kids. Hi Perfect, and then some days I go later and she never Ever said nothing to me. Did you pretend like you were asleep or did he like I was a molested child?

I go over here for this jangsoon futsalon The massage joint this fang chun they give you a great massage. I take my wife there It's guys and girls, but the girl that works there. It's kind of cute. She's like a heavy lifter Last night took a nap. I woke up my body hurt. So let me go down to fang june get the 40-dollar special She sticks her toes in my ass And then she moves her knees. Yeah, but she purposely sticks her toes in my ass now. I could downline one one A sign of the jail. Oh, it's a big deal. You know what I'm saying? She feels me up. She pulls my underwear down the back

And she rubbed to yeah, she pulls my me on these down halfway Nice and she rubs my back in my ass cheeks sometimes I and she gets close to my asshole That's part of the chinese culture They want to stick a finger up your ass to loosen you up I wouldn't downline one one. Oh, I just hope my my asshole wouldn't be dirty. You know what I'm saying? I want to be walking around with cuban stink finger The rest of the day and then rub it on something And then lee walks in and they'll get a big rub. He brought me there once and didn't tell me just told me to bring shorts

I took him there one time It's tremendous for 40 dollars. Did you like it lee? It was good but it was it was interesting doing it next to him because I could hear him and then That my guy was going kind of hard on me But I know I couldn't say anything because he would have Tortured me and then we like we fell asleep outside getting the feet done because they do the feet And I didn't think I was going to be into it especially because it was a guy. Would it felt good? Did you any did anyone stick their toes in your ass? No, no, no, luckily the guy didn't get a top. I always get her

Yeah, my name is jesse. I always get I call first And I was jesse available. She'll tell me she'll tell me exactly when to get that come to 15 I stopped what i'm doing. I shoot right over there. I go there like twice a month I fucking tip a heavy and she's phenomenal. Wow. She rips my shoulders apart. Damn. She rips my feet apart They got a lunchtime special From 12 to 3 you go in there give him a 20 You give that little chinese guy a five before the party even starts. Yeah Before he touches you give him a five. They put your feet in hot water

They rub your shoulders. They rub your neck They do a bunch of stuff. That's why my hair was fucked up last night Because they massage your scalp. Oh, that's the best of your shoulders. They do your hands. They they pull all the knuckles out Oh, yeah, this is for 20 for 40 bucks for 20 Oh this is for the special right now at 12 Right up the corner right up down from the bank of america Okay, yeah, there's a pizza place in there. There's a luncheonette. Yeah, there's uh A toenail place a korean note toenail place

And there's that it says massage. It's not a hand job place. Yeah, all the other ones are like And then there's a Thai place there's a Thai massage place and I heard they're real But the chicks are brutal. They're really brown They look weird. They look like nobody fed them in a year. I went in there one day and I'm like, you're too skinny to give me a Fucking massage you You weigh 85 pounds They got it by the waist with a chain I think that would have been your first clue. That would have been like clue number one day and like secure them and shit

Chain to the fucking rim the tire No, I like that san june I've been going over there for like two years and damn when I saw the happy hour for 20 I was like, you know, and then somebody told me somebody referred me to them Five years ago. They said go in there. They're good. They were jiu-jitsu guys And no, I really like it. I have to check that out. We share a death They break your neck. They do everything over there They do whatever you need. You know what I'm saying? My back is so fucked up right now. I yeah

Dude, you should go do the special later, dude. My back is through the 40 minute special. I asked for Jesse. She's not there on wednesdays On wednesdays, you're fucked. You got a bunch of guys that look like extras in the brusley movies There's a guy man that looks like the boss in the big Boss Except he doesn't have the cigarette. He looks just like the big boss and the big boss. Anyway God damn man. I mean, how much do you guys do to take care of yourself because like it can't be easy going on stage 30 nights and like 30 nights. It's like, uh

Not much We don't do much I try and I try and do as much cardio when i'm home as I can walk in Yeah, whatever I can but I mean on the road it's it's it's a little tougher on the road But I stretch a fuckload before we even go on just to kind of help me But I still came back home from the last tour with a fucked up back the first time I've ever Ever in my life had a fucked up back Ever

And so it sucks, you know those long those long sitting I can't sit that long though. Yeah, I used to be able to sit that long those days are done that that that Doug got shot jack. Yeah Yeah, I feel it right now. Even when I'm sitting, right? Yeah, I gotta put a timer on You gotta get up and fucking yeah, because it sucks. Yeah, not if not. I get too stuck Yeah, I get a fucking I have a degenerative disc And it just it acts up flares up from time to time. I also can't sit, you know for um Uh very long because I feel that pressure. Yeah, I get it. I get it right in there. So when you look down at the computer

Yeah, that adds more pressure like if you're typing into I didn't notice Somebody read me the riot acts, which are really interesting now. I have a bad no fuck. Yeah. No, dude. It's different now One thing about you that I really liked That Every musician should do I mean uh Mick Jagger leaks But he's Mick Jagger, but he leaks his uh rehearsal tapes by himself like his dance. Yeah. Yeah And him lifting weights and doing fucking kettlebells at 73 And his his train is like this 23 year old. That's topless and shit

Mick Jagger don't fuck around. He's whipping that bitch. You know what I'm saying? Mick Jagger, he doesn't have no Bruce Lee extras There's real people there, but it's so weird How uh what the fuck was like how you connected with social media you've taken off Ever since you did the podcast and I started following you you are fantastic at it Thanks, man, and not like in a shitty way like checks with tits and and let's face it That's what you want to see from a fucking in the rock star. I don't want to see pictures of kids or you a church

You were the bunch of guys high with sober. No, it's sober october You have to give me the illusion that you're living this life. Yeah Well, it it I mean thanks to you guys, man. That's when it I really kind of started, you know getting Um a little bit more in touch with that um Because after the first time I was on Was when I just started to get fucking people starting to hit me up like left and right And I was like man, I need to like fucking need to get on this thing because it's a different fucking

Age now than before, you know, we we didn't grow up with with that. We didn't have that So I've been sort of having to learn How to fucking use it, you know and how to you grew up with a picture of how on your wall. Yeah today If I fucking bug out enough on twitter Eventually he'll crack and tell me to go fuck myself. Yeah Because first they start saying hello to you like you're a nice person you take them for granted And then they go, you know what you're obsessed. Fuck you you piece of shit You go fuck you two cocksucker and that makes their world

Yes, that makes their world that they got you pissed off and you blocked they blocked you right you really got you're you're Duck you're a main guy of the ball. I got blocked by gene Simmons today I told him the wig wasn't for gazing It sounds like a typical day at rehearsal. No, but it really is that now The control the fan has yeah and the control that you have over that fan is a musician You know, Ozzy Osbourne couldn't tweet Van Halen didn't tweet When those five junkies from Boston took over the country

In the mid 70s they didn't tweet They made their bones in Worcester and all those fucking hellholes. Yeah all over Boston and they became who they were Could you imagine if you could tweet then Jesus videos? Wow, you know, you're out. There was no MTV in 75 TV didn't come around to a 181 80 82 81 81 yeah number 81. Yeah video killed the radio What the fuck? No, you know, but last night I had precious time on I had precious time on I came over here last night. We smoked the grandma weed me and Lee Just to get the months started off, right?

This takes the edge off because I was with the family all down with the church choir down Then I fell asleep and I woke up and I went and got a massage at the gin gin place And then the way back I go leave me me. I'm right the fucking office. That's who a fucking grandma Some bubble licious to get the week going Lee asked me cause I go leave are you high this morning? He goes, yeah Where are you high? I go not really. I just went home and I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich a banana two apples Just taking bong hits with joey's cray like when I think I'm done like there's no way I could take another bong hit We didn't he said we had two more. I was like, what are you talking about? We went right through a gram of 25

percent weed. Oh my god Me and him a gram straight back for damn like we're playing checkers Like we're playing war but what is that battle b 52? Yeah, we played battleship bong hit last night. We just went back and forth until we couldn't see I drove in everybody was sleeping. I thought they were sleeping and then they woke up with belly aches and shit I'm high as fuck So did you did you guys cut out the edibles? Yes. Yeah, no more no more at all too intense You know once in a while. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

It wasn't intense the way like I think normal people think of intense because we were taking Like a minimum of 1500 and that was a light night. Oh For like three years For like three years you go home you wake up just breadcrumbs and shoot all over your kitchen I still remember the fucking the poly shore And it was time to evolve I wanted to get better conversation out of people Sure, it's tough for me to give you a star and you and me And it's cute, but you know what man we're adults sure

So it was a different direction. I love when things evolve. Yeah I don't want to see a show that stays the same forever I remember a kid's parent telling me one time when the last Led Zeppelin album came out Into the outdoor whatever we were at the house And the mother came in and her husband was a jazz drummer So she knew music and she goes, you know, I'm not crazy about Led Zeppelin But one thing about them is on all their albums. They have a different sound Like they showed up with a different sound one different thing, you know

And I believe it's the same whether it's podcasting a tv show Give me a different dimension To let it grow in my mind I thought it was just time plus the other business went out of business here You got to eat 80 things For you to get high. I ain't got time to fill my stomach with fucking jello dust That fucking jello dust makes you shit And you hide till you shit it out the next morning

You wake up until you take a shit. Yeah You take you take a shit. You're like, wow, I'm not high no more. Sure. It smells like the edibles too And it smells like edibles and it clogs everything up everything had jello on it I had more jello in my system. You can't eat the cookies That's diabetes. You can't eat, you know They're just giving you diabetes you're eating cookies and brownies and so what you're trying to strive for is the smallest Thing I could give you with the strongest potency, you know They had the spray the spray was pretty good a thousand

Go under there spraying it like bonacca like you got a bad breath And next thing you know, you have it. It was great. I just uh I'm just 55 or something. No, you know, I'm trying to do things. What about the drinks? Have you done the drinks? Don't like them. Yeah, don't like them. I don't I'm very old school when it comes to that. I still enjoy the process of cutting it You know what's one thing this new narco show that tells you is how The mexicans were smuggling brown marijuana into the country. They had control of it

But this guy came up with a way To eliminate the male seeds and the female seed to make it stronger So he goes show me a kilo of your weed and the guy took out like a suitcase and he goes This is a kilo of our weed We could smuggle more, you know, and I still remember being a kid in sense media That was it sense media. But then Bob Marley showed up with fucking ragi and five black dudes with dreadlocks And he had a weed called lamb's bread

So now the Jamaicans were so our part of the country We had more brown Mexican weed. No, we had more Colombian gold and Panama red and lamb's bread Then the west coast the west coast had the mexican brown and the sense of media And then to make real money

The sense of media started crossing over We started seeing green weed Instead of brownish reddish goldish weed and that was just a complete different But even when you got like a Colombian gold add a lot of seeds in it If you bought an eighth of it, it was all seeds That's why when you buy old vinyl When you open it up a seed will fall out because that's how you cleaned your weed in the 70s and 60s Why you bought the album you took the album out you put it out

And then as you rolled the joint you rolled it on the thing the seeds would go to the middle of the album You would scrape the weed and roll a joint So that's what people use their albums for to fucking clean the weed out. Wow fucking amazing. Wow. Nice. Wow. We changed. What about What do you guys know about that CBD oil? I love it. Yeah, I love it I buy this one brand And what I do is listen, I know this right knee is gone So after your shows before your shows Before you put the knee pads on, you know

You you go to right now when we leave here getting your car And get on to hunger and just go straight And go straight to Ventura and make a left on Ventura. There's a place called urban trees And you go in and it comes in a bottle and you even just like hand oil It's like lotion either has pain reliever And you I put it on my knees Sometimes if I'm squatting I put it on my head Legs on my arms. Plus I've been doing shoulder therapy on my own

So I push my hands To rub it into my shoulders every morning because look that's what I have. Wow. I'm I jacked my shoulders over the years So I do use a lot of CBD the cream Yeah, and I rubbed it into my wife's back last night. She didn't complain And it's pain reliever and you feel it you feel it's helping. They have a roll on too Because I need some for my back man Yeah And we get some of those girls on the road to give you a little

And they even have CBD oil that you rub on your clit And it makes a woman's pussy just go fucking bananas Just squirt fucking tequila sunrises in your face. Do you know what I'm saying? Did we use that Lee? No, I haven't used that one My I do have a buddy who has cerebral palsy and he says he he he can't live without it. Is he doing the oil? Uh, he has a roll on too. He has a roll on for like if it was joints ever hurt I think the roll on probably

Weren't good for me I do the drops and the vape and the vape the vape actually helps throughout the day You know, I mean of the the oil I usually do it at night and you know, I get good good nights rest and Back doesn't hurt as much. It still hurts. I mean the pain's still there But I mean, it's just because I haven't I'm curious to try a factor or anything never tried when I go home I spray the CBD without the thc Yeah, which isn't as efficient It should have a little bit of thc to drive it to your cells or another

Places that should get that. I don't know if this is exactly the terminology people don't listen to me But I do it and I feel a lot better in the morning. I felt like shit yesterday. Yeah, I went to jujitsu Friday and saturday back to back and I worked out at home thursday And I felt like shit yesterday And I got worse throughout the day body aches and shit. Yeah, just you saw you're 55 years old. There's not really much to stast around You saw now. Is it how is it? The one that has some thc in it. Is it are there different levels of how much thc to put in there?

Yes, yes, so you can get the one with the least Yeah, just to make the body aches. You're on stage. You're really playing Take the CBD or rub it on your fingers for your guitar. Yeah, I feel like it's like my joints Yeah, is where I start to feel it sometimes and then my fucking lower back Absolutely, you're on stage doing your thing shaking you and every time you shake your head. That's Three seconds off your life. You're running your fucking head. You might as well have leaked tackle you You know what I'm saying? You never see it's quarter back. He's about to throw the ball You do this shit 22 times anything happens to you had you wake up in the morning. It's like what the fuck happened to me last night?

I went to disneyland. They saved the hundred and forty four dollars That's way fuck yeah, I gotta try that man. That's way fucking better than eating pills and fuck up your yeah Your organs. I gotta try that. What's the name of that place you said right now? It's called urban trees they open to hunger and Ventura to hunger and Ventura They're open from eight to ten and while you're there you might as well go down the corner You really want to rock your world from one brother to another? Yeah You you park right there and then you get out and you walk 30 yards to a place called US cryotherapy

And tell them to freeze your hands Wow for three minutes. Yeah And loosen it up Damn, and if it works for you then come back again before the tour starts nice and go in the chamber for three minutes Shit to cryo chamber cryo chamber wow with your head for three minutes Fucking awesome because right now you guys are gonna be doing some heavy playing So you want your body to recover and yeah, it's tough and thank god god knock on wood. You don't drink alcohol Yeah, thank god you take care of yourself because alcohol is the one that really gets you on the road

Yeah, that's what really gets you out kills you man four nights. It's not the road. It's not you doing what you love It's the after yeah The four hours of sleep the drinking the no breakfast Yeah, man. I couldn't I couldn't fucking I mean, you know because I've never drank. I've never done anything. I I can't imagine What it's like, you know, and I see it. I mean everyone around us, you know Fucking does shit and I'm just like man. That's gotta be I'm feeling just because of my age You know, you just you don't feel like you did in your 20s anymore

So now add that shit on top of it. I can't fucking imagine dude the headache You know, I definitely can't get into the bus like I was just going feet Like if I smell somebody's feet And the windows are closed and shit. I'll fucking get sick if I'm hungover. Yeah, dude The tour bus is no, you know, open windows. Yeah. No, no, no, no people shitting the bathroom. I shame Somebody shits in the bus bathroom. I burn the bunk on the bunk on the bunk. Oh, I don't like none of that shit I don't want to I'm of the age you had till 30 to get me on the bus I did when I was in prison. I had a bus ride with handcuffs on

Everybody's orange suits and slippers You couldn't talk. I like all that shit. It's a fun little ride But after 30, I don't want to be on the bus with stinky men and shit like this. Where's this tour start? Uh, San Francisco Wednesday this Wednesday the 21st San Francisco at the warfield and it goes till when till december 21st What's the website? Ministry ministry band.com. Yeah, your mother fuck is ready to rock. Fuck. Yeah Send my best to Al. I will. I gotta get him on here one of these days, man You come back with the whole fucking tribe for sure. For sure. We'll do a show in here. We'll blow up the building

Yeah, what uh, how long is this tour go to one month? November 21st to december 21st and then we're la Hopefully you guys can come out. What were they fond of december 20th and december 21st at the fond of fine, isn't it? That's on hollywood boulevard. It's it's close to the palladium Okay, it's right. It's right like a few blocks from the palladium. It's a nice place. Very nice place. It's like nice white people Yeah, that'll need that. Yeah, they're gonna they're not gonna know what the fuck hit them man. They don't need that A woman's bathroom is gonna be chlamydia bill. It's gonna be as soon as you walk in. It's like japanese black light and shit in there, dude Like you see the spray everywhere. Oh god as chlamydia std

What's that site that you get as you swipe? Tender tinderville Tender viss That's from getting pussy on tinderville. What the fuck are you calling? Yeah, man, you guys gotta come down for those shows man. Yeah, I love to come down I'm I get back to new york on the 19th. Okay, cool man. I'll come down and one of the shows. Yeah alone See what's going on? That'd be great. That'd be great man. See my boy fucking do his thing. Look at me. It looks like a young

Kim thai out All the fucking time you're dealing with joy bananas. You think it would have you on the show I want people to go on youtube and that's kim thai out. He went on fucking steroids He gets that that cam or kim fields So the the last real quick the last us tour That we did which was the beginning of the year. Uh, we were in canada. I forget where we were. It might have been, uh, I think it was it might have been toronto. It might have been Vancouver i'm not too sure, but uh, we were at this bar next door, right?

hanging with some people and You know Some girl and her husband told me, you know, you remind me of you you remind me of uh kim fail from uh Soundgarden and I go, that's funny. I go. That's that's my dad That's my dad and she's like shut up. Fuck. No, that's not it. I go That's my dad and I had her convinced that You know Al and and my dad to kim were were like friends from back in the lala palooza days and

That's how he got in the band and I I I didn't have that opportunity Something happened in between and I didn't have that time to tell her that I was joking And they fucking bought it and they thought that I that that was that my dad The entire fucking night one night things came to say I was about to go to the plane He's in miniapolis his aunt died Oh, something some fucking couple comes up to him and said we met your son At a fucking bar and whatever Yeah, that's that's what's gonna happen. Yeah kim thai. I don't ain't bothering no bottom

He's at a fucking airport man in his own business Sitting in coach. You don't want nobody to know it's him And some people gonna come go we met your son What fucking son I got no son my son's got missing in here He's at home right now. He's running the Institute He's running the Institute No wonder you look so familiar. Yeah I want to thank both you guys for coming on always a pleasure. Thanks for having us keep doing what you're doing

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Kick this fucking mule. We have a great day. Stay black. We'll start your monday on the right foot I want to be around To pick up the pieces When somebody breaks your heart Some somebody twice as smart as I A somebody who Will swear to be true As you used to do with me

Who'll leave you to learn That misery loves company Wait and see I mean I want to be around To see how he does it When he breaks your heart to bits Let's see if the puzzle fits So fine

And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet As I sit there a-floodin From a front row seat When somebody breaks your heart like you Like you profile