Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #642 - Mike Dolce
Episode Date: December 11, 2018Mike Dolce, renowned fitness coach, nutrition expert, and author, returns to the Church of What's Happening Now to join Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:... Hims - Go to ForHims.com/joey for a trial month of everything you need to keep your hair - for just $5. 23andme.com - 23andMe is a DNA testing service that can offer you insights on to how your DNA can influence your weight, sleep quality and much more. Order your 23andMe health and ancestry kit at 23andMe.com/church before December 25th for a special discount.  Recorded live on 12/11/2018.
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Slash church. That's 23andMe.com slash church again
That's 23andMe.com slash church kick this motherfucking mule Lee
Oh, shit, we're going in with a deep one for you on a Tuesday morning
Mike Doche, what's up the Christ killer in Hanukkah
And Uncle Joey, are you fucking kidding me or what?
Soul of a woman was created below
Nice and easy, no fucking drama Tuesday morning
Are you fucking nuts
Mike Doche, what would make you move back to Jersey the beach man gotta be at the beach
Gotta be near the water and want to want to raise my kids the way I grew up great to see you good to see you
My miss you blew my mind tonight when you said you had moved back to Jersey
You left the whole Vegas scene you left it behind and moved on that's it that's it man
You know Vegas was love Vegas, you know had a great time in Vegas. How long you in Vegas for eight years?
Eight years, you know and still have still have you know reach in Vegas still have a couple things over there
But East Coast now, that's the that's the home base. That's HQ. That's the setup very happy
Happy to be back and you're digging it as your first winter back first winter and pump man
Pumped I'm gonna fucking shovel. I'm gonna shovel everybody's walkways, you know like that type of energy
Yeah, how many winters do you think you're gonna do that for one?
Get a snowblower next one. How old do you have girls? I have two little girls two daughters
Three and a half and just turned to oh, yeah, you're at that thing
Hey, man, come on get him home. I skating on real real rinks, you know real lakes
Yeah, I had to go to a 830 fucking song thing this morning at the school assembly
Fucking line was like studio 54
So I went in to read her the book first for the first half hour and then
My wife wouldn't snag the chair and I sit there to four grades and I'm like
Why am I doing this in my life cuz you're awesome does you need to do this shit?
This is what it's all about. That's it
That's what it's about and I had shit to do and the whole thing like, you know what I ain't got shit to do
Yeah, I'm really that's what you have to do. Yeah, that's it. What's better than that?
And you always think ah, maybe I'm not doing good as a dad
You know, maybe I'm not doing it right or whatever. Yeah, and that's why I try to go to all those things
So now I didn't I didn't feel too good. I'm like, you know what? I'm not gonna go to fucking Muay Thai class
Okay, and I'm going and I had a great time, you know, I try to always go to something
Yeah, and that's great to see when a guy like you finally goes, you know what?
My career could go to this place in this place. You know what out of respect of my family. I want to go back to the roots
Yeah, you know, I think about a little time. I just got no roots left. Yeah, northern, New Jersey where I came from
I don't think you know, I see the traffic here. Yeah. Oh man traffic in northern, New Jersey headed by Lincoln tunnel
That's where I'm from. Are you fucking crazy? It's so much better though
I've sat in traffic on the turnpike leaving the airport. It was so much better than LA traffic
It was because it was cold and it was dark, you know, it was grainy. It was it was it was beautiful
I really enjoyed it. You're flying to Newark. You get off you drive 10 minutes. Also, you smell
Smell you smell in the airport. You smell fucking
oils and fucking yeah, you just
Somewhere in that hour drive you smell so many different fucking odors
Yeah, and you know like you said that I never knew Delaware was the cancer capital in the country
Yeah, it's always ranked very highly not to bash on Delaware, but that was and that's really that really surprised that doesn't surprise
Yeah, because everything goes down. Yeah, I'll aware sticks out a little bit. So it probably just gets caught there all the malook
Get fucking Delaware. That's crazy. But now man, that's great that you took your family
Yeah, you know, I got a couple things cooking
And then a big thing that obviously sit down and say to myself. What do I really want to do? Yeah, you know
Well, you know right now what you really want to do, you know, we all I think y'all carry that
It's in you, right? You know, it's it's pointing you in that direction. Anyway, you know, there's some things you have to do
Well, you have to work. Yeah, you want to stay as relevant you can you want to keep doing the park
There's a lot of things you need to do. Yeah
Like going on the road. Yeah, but I also like staying at home
Yeah, you know, I would love for a show to get picked up or whatever
But I know I've been here for 20 years and I know how many
Stars have to be aligned
Yeah, just perfectly for your show funny thing to ever get picked up
So I don't really put sweat into it. So I've seen people walk around here with gloves and smack people in the face
I've seen people get deals
Chains and also nothing happened. And now you got to eat shit from these guys because you're acting like a fucking asshole
Yep, you know, you were acting like a fucking asshole for eight months while your show was getting developed
The network didn't pick it up now. You got to walk in front of the same people
Yeah, what's up, John? So you better be good to people on the way up because you're gonna see the same motherfuckers on the way down
That's a true. That's a true. No, my world is just an opportunity. I got I had an idea
I sold it if they do it they do it if not say lovey. Yeah, I already know the fucking drill because that means I gotta go to work
Yeah
Remember that means I gotta go to work got what you asked for and that's and that's Fox work. Oh, that's 12 hour days
It's a multi cam. Yeah, it's the whole thing, but it's work. Yeah, it's work
It's beautiful. I'm also you start missing the airport
Man, I miss LAX Fox every day and eat this food, you know, you don't look at things for what they are
Yeah, so I'm just waiting to hear on whatever and then I have to decide she's five
Yep
You know, I don't know. I just don't know. Yeah, I'm taking every day
This is it. This has been one of these things where
The ride has been crazy. I could see myself moving back to Jersey. Yep
But a lot of ways I can't I don't think I could do the winters
When was the last time you were there?
November 8th and where'd you stay? Northern New Jersey. He's in a house in a I stay in a hotel
I'll tell I take the ferry into the city. I worked. I worked the city
Yeah, but I stay in the northern New Jersey side. It's easier for me. Sure. I get to see my buddies. I go to the cemetery
I go to all my spots by Chinese. Yeah, my Rudy's clam bar
I get to go to fucking get a Cuban plate and it's done
I don't have to wake up in the city and drunk $40 for a cheese omelet. Yeah at a coin
I just
New York is too much for me now at this age. Yeah, it's too fast for me
So it is it is fast. I'm just thinking about getting you down. I want to get you down this short
So 45 minute train ride hop right on long ranch pop right up your right and I'm gonna say is on station when and I keep saying Marlboro
3435 sure. It's gorgeous that
Good friend lived there. Okay, never I would do calmly. I would stay there
And I I remember driving then going this is the perfect
Fucking location. Yeah, you're close enough to the city, but you're still in the suburbs and he had you ready for this
He had a drive-through
Carvel what not even a mile from this house. That's bad news. So I would get high and I tell him this I gotta go for a ride
This one I was 400 pounds. You want to know why I was 400 pounds drive-through car. No
Drive-through car valve
Right, I should be only I used to get a double cone and a chocolate shake. Oh
Eat the cone and then
Drink the shake on the way up like I only went and got a shake
Yeah, but I would get a car my favorite on the car. That was a double cone, but on the chocolate
College sprinkles with whipped cream
How many times he made that order? That was too smooth fucking 10 million 10 million times
I bet I was a car about kid. I would go to Carvel. There was a point in my life. Remember cookie puss
No, I wasn't cookie puss guy. That was that well. No, I fucking I'll never eat that cuz it was weird as shit
What was cookie puss? It wasn't at the Carvel thing. It was like the always on TV. It was weird
It was like a whale or something. Yeah, you like the cakes, right? Yeah
Commercial weird. How are you? This is Tom Carvel
Telling you that we have cakes for all occasions
That's how it was though, right? Yeah, and the pictures is just pop up of Tom Carvel
Yeah, but that was a car on 39th and Bergen line next to a bar called
Listen to me. This is how much I need this place
All the bottom of the barrel if you read the book Goodfella, yeah to the movie the book to the movie
That's what I hang out the bottom of the barrel and upstairs is fujai pie kung fu
the guy
Is still there food job by kung fu?
The guy's 70 and he still teaches food job pie from the second floor. Oh, how about that?
But that car fell on the corner. We would walk up that hill
First of all, I come from the second hilliest place in the country
Where North Bergen, New Jersey right before Lincoln Town Park your cars is the second hilliest
So if you walked up the hill you burnt those caps. Yeah Carvel wasn't shit
Yeah, right? You need to carve else if you walk up the cemetery hill and not the project hill
You're good. You deserve that car. Well, isn't that what a double cone is?
It's like a tea or something like it's one calm, but two. Yeah
I was picturing two scoops
Fresh with whipped cream and colored sprinkles and I would drive the truck like this. Look we eat ice cream
Fucking at the light taking a sip from the chocolate shake and fucking home and you can just go right to sleep after all
Oh, fuck. Yeah at night with a joint as a coma. That wasn't sleep. I grew up on that shit. I call those shake nice and thin
Chocolate I love what what do you think when you hear like fat guys talk about stuff? They eat like
Have you eaten that much ice cream? I'm like, you know, he's dudes
And fucking you ate pie at the diner with a string of hair on it
You expected at least one hair on somebody's play. Oh good lord. Fuck. Yeah, French fry crinkled hair a little fucking little bus boy
I
Hope not
Referred you give me shit about where I eat tacos. God damn it. There's hair in your food
What was the other South Jersey ice cream spot?
There's one that was Hoffman's Hoffman's is big Hoffman's but there's another one that day
That's an ice cream place and then there was another place where I went to
That you went in there like it's kids. Yeah, like in Jersey. This could only happen in Jersey. Yeah, Lee. You're gonna die
You went in there like we would go to play basketball or something
Yeah, I was like a team and the coach would take you there if you win
But there was always that thing that if you ate it, you got it for free
But if you didn't eat it, of course, you're like $80. Yeah, yeah, like the challenge
I'll take those out. I had one of those friends one day that got really high and right in front of me
He's like I'm ordering the boat. No, my dog. You're not gonna eat it. He's a dog
He ate three quarters and started barfing
It was like keto overload it was whipped cream 300 cherries like that type of shit
Was it really 300 cherries not exaggerate like 20 cherries a container whipped cream like I still remember the nuts
Yeah
How many scoops I forget what the scoops were was like a really big bowl. Yeah, it was like a fuck you guys
You couldn't even like only an asshole with raises and yeah, and he ended up
And it was a rip-off. It was really like $8 of ice cream. Sure, but if you fucking ate it
They would give it to you for free. I really was like
78 77 78 79
15 bucks $15 was a lot of fucking money right a lot of money
Yeah, but it was like 20 Maricino cherries, I remember it was 20 can of whipped cream a thing of nuts
You know fucking and he this guy went in there one day. We were high
And he said let's do it and I'm like I'm not fucking he I knew it that like I don't like ice cream that much
Yeah, I like ice cream to a limit not you were double fisted a milkshake and a fucking fuck. Yeah
Everyone has a limit
In those days levels to this, you know
People talk about the Dolce diet. Let's talk about the New Jersey diet
Because I grew up on a motherfucking buttered roll and a can of coke. Yeah, the fuck
Does that do to your body? Don't you accept a buttered roll a Kaiser roll a Kaiser buttered roll?
Which just think sugar just instead of like it being a roll just picture like a
Maybe a couple teaspoons of sugar. Yeah, it's all sugar. It's all sugar a Kaiser roll is all sugar
It's all sugar
Very little if no fiber at all and a bunch of synthetic chemicals just mixed in there
And then one of the most disgusting New Jersey thing you can see you had a can of whisk back up
Say you had a can of coke with the with the Kaiser with the with the scoops of sugar
Fuck yeah, what do you have for breakfast?
But I have half a half a cup of oats one cup of berries two tablespoons of chia seeds two tablespoons of hemp seeds
A sprinkle of cinnamon almond butter or peanut butter depends on the day
Sometimes I'll do like a steel cut oats and they'll make love to it on the stove top
Sometimes it's oat bran just with the kettle poured on top and out the door
But that's that's almost my every day no eggs
Um eggs. I'll usually do second or third meal, you know
So like I have eggs pretty much every day two to four whole eggs and you know two to four yolks
Let's say I'd like to say four days a week
But that's usually the second meal with a lot of a lot of vegetables, you know
So I make like omelets and frittatas and and cheeses and just like poached eggs and like sauteed veggie
Or like as a cold salad do a lot of different things with that
So that's typically my my second meal like my 11 o'clock or so meal not to them counting the hours like a bodybuilder
I'm fucking hungry again. You know car needs gas. Boom. Let's let's hit and keep it going
You know, there may be like a piece of fish or something a little bit later
um
And then dinner time might be like a chili or or a pasta or like a stir fry or like sushi
My wife made like a pasta for a little too much. Oh, fuck fucking tremendous. That's only three points a cup
Okay, three points three points. What are what's the points explain the points to me the points is 42
I get 39 points a day. Okay to consume to consume. Okay eggs are free. Okay, you can eat that
Eat his eggs and chicken breasts are free. Okay. Okay, so I'll fucking go in the backyard and throw three grilled chicken breasts on
Yeah, you're gonna get white rice or black beans cuban style
And that's nine points because beans are free
Beans are for all you pay for is the rice. So I'll put a cup and a half of rice and put nine points
And I could eat the beans your game in the system. Aren't you who gives a fuck?
Listen, I the reason why all those diets because I'm I'm honest with you
Yeah, like I read your bowies. I read your book three times
You have four dishes that I could eat the other ones that you come close to me. We can't talk the fuck
I'm like, what quick King Yow? Don't even come by me
Wow
I don't like honey. Yeah, I like your chili. There was one thing I didn't like in the chili. I like your
The spaghetti you make a good spaghetti. I'll stay a powerful stay up
But the quinoa there's a lot of shit that I'm gonna tell you already. I'm not gonna eat what about what about like stir fry
Like salmon and rice and veg chopped up. No brown rice in my world. No, it's never gonna happen nor mine white rice
I'm Cuban white rice. I'm a disrespect today. I can't I can't I do have a problem lately that you're not gonna fucking believe
I got the fucking Italian thing
And I've been talking to different Italian people and they all time and like I bumped into Sebastian one night
I thought Sebastian I go Sebastian. You believe at this age
I can't eat cheese. No, I had a problem with my stomach for three or four months
Didn't know what it was a horrible farts. Yeah
Thought I had cancer, you know, I saw it she just enjoyed st. Pierre do an interview on rogan
I'm like, if he's got cancer fucking can you imagine what's inside my ass?
He's his Christ and I and I got scared and I realized that I went to the doctor
I started taking things away. I took away the edibles for a while. Yeah
And still my stomach was bothering me and I had that uh, coconut
Flavor, what was the thing I got you? Oh the uh, it was protein. Well, yeah, it was a protein drink. It was uh
low carb something kitchen
It was low carb coconut vanilla. Yeah, it was delicious. I was making that with milk
In the morning
coconut milk
We coconut milk and something was it wasn't something was messing with me
And then my wife started getting
I don't know. I don't know. Well, my wife says bringing home much of elbows
From gels's fan wet. What's it out? Does your daughter love those? No, she don't even fuck. She looks at it
me
That's my gotcha
Yeah, you eat it like a bowl of ice cream like what's it all balls? Yeah
Like I don't eat it all year when I'm here. Yeah when I go home like the second or third day
I go to this little deli nobody even sees me go in there
God sees you and I got a prosciutto with roasted peppers and wet muts
Yeah, and I'm good. You get one a week if I'm back in jersey. Oh, okay back in back in jersey
Yeah, I would eat one a week. You know there's no there's no no there's no
But now I can't I so I finally took the muts out of my life. I was like
The muts was fucking killing me. How about that?
So I started talking to more people and then my buddy told me he's Italian. He goes talk
I had to stop when I was 50 done no more pizza
And then another friend of mine. Yeah, and then
Sebastian told me that he got it with sauce. Okay that he got the Italian thing that
saw us now
You know, it's it's it's acidity. I wonder so let's go deeper into the issue. What is the issue?
The issue is it's a digestive issue more than anything
But why is the body no longer able to break down the cheese?
Is that what it is?
Or is there something mechanical going on possibly in the body? Maybe your stomach lining is worn out
Maybe there's an ulcer of sorts. Maybe it's a hadal hernia possibly where the stomach kind of sticks through the top of the diaphragm
It could just be the kind of diluted or diminished or
Hindered the enzymes necessary to help break down the dairy, you know, maybe those are just, you know, too powerless
I'm never like milk. First of all, I don't like milk drinking it. I don't like drinking milk. What about chocolate milk?
Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo. Okay. I'm a Yoo-hoo. No milk. It's water. Shut the fuck up. Who asked you?
You're from Boston, you know nothing about the Yoo-hoo
Okay, I'm a Yoo-hoo. Just shut the fuck up cocksucker
And egg creams. I love all that shit Yoo-hoo's egg creams
Uh, chocolate milk quick when I was a kid. Yeah, that strawberry quick came out. I could live with that for a while
But that never really was my fancy
What about the Hershey syrup though? Oh, that's tremendous. Yeah, that's tremendous
But I still needed with milk and a little club soda. Okay. That's the only way I could have a little fucking half and half in the old days
We don't give a fuck. Yeah when I was lifting I was doing fucking buying the neck presses
I would get half and half
And I would sit there with a container a half and half a thing of Hershey's and two bottles of club soda
Yep, and I just keep fucking staring and shit at night and watch tv and stay up all night on that fucking chocolate
Making gains, right?
Yeah, fuck to be that age again doing that shit
I used to I used to have my own doche check when I was 18
What was it me and my buddies were doing this five sets of six power lifting there
I love it. We would fucking get whole milk
16 ounces half a fucking
thing of ice cream wheat germ
Two or three four because the barbarian brothers were of course
So the barbarian brothers said that they ate 36 eggs every day
So that was our goal to eat 36 eggs every day. So every day we'd make protein shakes
We're like 15 eggs in there cooked or not cooked. No, fuck the raw like rocky. You just mix it into the milk
That's why you can't digest dairy now fucking disgusting
And nobody got big right only a barbarian brothers
And I found out they were eating deca d'araba like it was going out of style balls eating d-ball like it was fucking going out of style
So I used to put the thing in it and we used to do five sets of six and run and the whole thing and
I believed and that's when joe wieta. Yeah only had egg protein. That's it. Yeah, that's it
There was nobody else competing with joe wieta. Oh, you want to lose weight? You had to take the inosatol
Chlorine mix. Yep. I remember that people got hip to
I not that's why people lost weight on cocaine because you cut cocaine when I inosatol
So people started losing weight going cocaine makes you lose weight. No, it's the inosatol
You snort with it. You're fucking dumb fuck because you're probably doing a grab my inosatol. Have you fucking?
Joe wieter be proud in the fucking 80s inosatol went through the roof
Yeah, like you could find it with chlorine and inosatol
But since I inosatol was used as a good cocaine cut
You couldn't fucking buy it
It would cost you go into a health food store and it would be like 30 dollars
So we'd steal the capsules. Okay, I'd steal the capsules because they were already weighed for you
So you can already fucking go into the city. You give me the money to go inside
I can just throw a capsule in there
Scoop a capsule out and nobody knows nothing. Everybody's happy. You follow me. We're fucking thinking dealing with lean joey bananas
evil genius
Yeah, good lord. So what was the rest of your jersey diet?
You didn't even get to finish that when I was a kid
I used to hang out with this Puerto Rican kid. His name was papo torres cool as fuck. I loved a little older than me
Yep, he was in he was in uh
McGuire Air Force Base
He was a soldier. He was older than me by great adventure. Sure
And there was b nights when he'd come up. I'd stay by his house his brothers and we'd watch tv late night
But the reason I like staying there because in the morning
If you took a five block walk you went from Puerto Ricanville
Into italianville right in the corner was 22nd or 21st and central
Was a guy that made little italian old man
And he made that italian bread. That's like this real fucking long. Yeah like this long
Real skinny. Yeah, I would take two of those the bag of zeppelis
And I would get a bar a hotel bar butter fucking 16 ounce coca-cola
And that's what I would eat for breakfast. I would sit there with the fresh bread
And just a stick of butter. Yeah, and just eat the fresh bread with the butter and then
The bag of zeppelis for the walk to school with powdered sugar on it diabetes
Somewhere in your future. You always have something to go. You always have something for the long
The thing I miss a lot from jersey is fried corn muffins
Fried love when you go into a fucking diner and you can just get a fried muffin
They put butter on it and put muffin on the grill. Yes, they do. Yes, they do
Let's go to jersey right now. You didn't know that dog. No, oh
My friend told me that at a sleep. It was the best thing ever happened to me. He did it with a blueberry muffin though
He would cut the top off put it in the toaster and put butter on it. Oh, I never heard about on a grill
Oh my god, listen my ex-wife. I can kill it 10 times in hell
I'll tell you something about my ex-wife
That bitch can make a muffin dog
That bitch can make a blueberry muffin because old school from buffalo old pollocks
She used to make fresh blueberry muffins fresh blueberries
And then the top she'd melt butter
With sugar two coats of it do one coat and then the other coat
It went right through you fucking take a blast to that. Forget about it. You'd be talking all day
19 of those blueberry
Fucking like I said, I'll stab it 10 times in the hell
But she could make a good blueberry muffin dog
And then I got hooked on the worst jersey thing ever cream cheese and jelly on a fucking kaiser roll. Yeah
That's not bad though. No, Jesus christ. That's terrible. It's tasty. It's tasty, right? It's tasty
I don't think I've had that it's pure diabetes though. I haven't had that in 40 years
Shit that I got caught on a phase about six months cream cheese and jelly from half of hashways with yu-hu
with you
You ever do cream cheese and peanut butter? No, that's disgusting on a bagel. Oh, it's good. That's great
What does coke do to you in the morning like when you how bad the coca-cola? Yeah
How what about heroin?
Let's think a bit. Is it that bad? It's that bad. It's that bad. It's that bad and it's addicting too
It has a powerful addiction that we know of right
It's crazy when I stopped drinking coke. I moved on now think about giving it to kids 10 years ago
I think I stopped drinking coke. Yep
Now I drink it
It's been years since I drank coke, but I know the last time I drank coke. I spit it out
It tastes like and then it just went away diet coke taste work
I have coke zero at the house which I have from time to time just to break the monotony at night
Just to feel like i'm doing something bad when i'm smoking rifa. Do you ever read the ingredients of that?
A coca-cola? Yeah, it's pure fucking liver crushes
Don't kill you remember there. You know what the water you showed rogan and jersey. Yeah, but don't you you know what don't you?
That's where they get it. Here's the sad thing and it's true right now. I don't test eat
I'm not even in the diabetics on it. Yeah, I'm not you got super genes, man. No, no, no. Look at you like I don't like
Cake anymore. I don't like nothing sweet anymore
In my mind, I like cake, but in reality it repulses me, right?
No, I like I like you know when my cheat is a two-point jello sugarless pudding
That's my cheat. Okay vanilla chocolate. It's too far away watch. What do you want from me?
You know what if I eat two of them?
Nobody's gonna fucking die. Is this a whole pie? No, no, no. It's a cup of jello. Okay. I was like a couple fucking
To see this points. Yeah. No, no, no. It's a cup of jello. Okay. It's uh
The chocolate vanilla pudding, you know, so is it weight watchers it comes like they send you food
No, this is jello. Okay. This is real jello. Okay. The thing I like about weight watchers is I eat
What I want
They have a list of all the restaurants out here. Uh-huh. So I cut I bang it up
That's right here
I open it up
And I got four points left for the day. Okay. All right. I got 42 for the week if I need to spend it
Okay, then I click onto here
And it doesn't it's not shown in here, but I have your activities. Gotcha. So I got muay thai in there
So every time you weigh yourself and you go in and say I did 20 minutes of muay thai real 20 minutes
Not fucking, you know, like if I go to an hour class of muay thai I did 20 minutes of muay thai
You know the rest of the time you're standing around and teaching a technique
Whatever unless you're doing circuit trainings. Yeah, so you can put that all in there
That's cool. So okay. So chicken beans. Yep
Fish. Yep
Eggs. Yep
Free
All free so you can eat as much of that as you want. Gratice. So I could get up in the morning
Now 20 years ago. No when I came from Cuba since I didn't know about I need scrambled eggs
No, I can't have a scrambled eggs if it was up to me
Can you have any egg? I would eat four fucking scrambled eggs and start with zero. That's how you cheat on weight watch
Four scrambled eggs
Salt and pepper. Yeah, that's it. Delicious. But me I need I need a wonder bread. I need two pieces of wonder bread
Jesus pile of sugar. I need two pieces of wonder bread to get the party started
But wonder bread is two points a slice. I can't two pieces of white bread
You actually they still make wonder bread. Fuck. Yeah, and I'm the number one consumer in 2018. They still make that
I'm hooked on wonder bread jean
And they sell it in food stores the wheat white is two points a slice
So for breakfast, I have two eggs a piece of boys had American cheese
And two pieces of fucking white bread for six points. I love that wonder bread also makes a healthier wheat version
Yeah, I I eliminated the fucking bacon. They just die brown
I eliminated the bacon from my diet. I'm not going anywhere with bacon prosciutto
You're not going anywhere with that shit on a weekly basis
A prosciutto once in a while a little like my wife told me last night. I bought sausage. I don't want to eat sausage no more
Yeah, I'm just not interested in eating sausage no more
After a certain age, I tell you what I don't like either. I don't like eating meat later tonight
My meat intake has been cut in half in the last year. I mean cutting in three quarters
How much meat would you eat more in sitting typically?
When rogan was buying
Brogan bought me more steaks than my mother. Okay, I would sit with him and get a 16 ounce
Yeah, baked potato. Yeah
If you eat that at four o'clock
There's a big difference and then you eat that at nine o'clock. Yeah
And there's a bigger difference if you eat that at fucking 11 30 and then go up to your room
Like alien those are all differences. So there's a big difference. So I'll eat normal life regular life
I'll try to eat meat early in the day and then eat fish for dinner. Yeah
I've been more bean conscious. Yeah, I love i'm cuban. I love black beans. I love red beans
And they say that people who eat beans live longer now. They're in the group five zone of
People who eat beans and they die every day might not include rice
You know, the rice might deactivate the effects of the beans
But they actually blend well together rice and bean type of guy
If I go to the cuban place, I'll get rice and beans and pork chunks, but I won't get the fried
I won't get the fried bananas. Yeah, or get the cuban soda. I'll drink water
You know, there's little sacrifices you make. Yeah, you know how much soda I drink as a kid my mother my mother had a bar
A bar a bar, okay
So you drank unlimited soda from the age of four from the from the draft from the tap from the tap and then she had
the you had the Puerto Rican labels which were like
Lemon up. Okay. Yeah, set a seven up. It was lemon up. It came in a case. Yeah, it was like co-cola
Rupiah cream
So she would automatically tell the guy to load two in the car
Every week she'd give me an extra 10 bucks. Yeah, so those two came to the thing
There was a time in my refrigerator where each level
Was just so there's a beer when I was growing up. Okay. The top level was eat on bed
Cuban iron beer the guy with the muscle, you know the second level was coca-cola's
And the third level was just Heineken's and the fourth level was like vegetables or shit like that
But there was always sodas in my house
Like I always drank because she ran a bar so she ran the bar accessible
I won't drink alcohol. Yeah, but I was drinking soda till the end the fucking time. Sure. Sure. It wasn't so
It wasn't till I was 22
I went to it
My friend got a
A half a dui
It wasn't a full dui. It was like a half a dui. He was on the borderline
It was 83 or something. So he he a friend of mine had done this for another friend of mine
Whenever he needed money, he would sit through seminars for him
So I told the guy the guy goes, I don't really want to go to the seminar
So I charge him 200 to go to the seminar and take the earbeat. There's Mike Dolce
Oh
So I had to sit there from eight to five and what they showed you was the effects of alcohol
When I was 19, I'll never forget that the guy was like, uh, there was an anti dui class
And he said this is the effects of alcohol when you drink in the morning lunchtime
And like I was blown the fuck away and then the guy goes, let me show you the effects of soda
And he just went off and I was sitting there like
Fuck and I drank 30 of those a day
Like in those days, I wouldn't even consider water
Water wasn't even in my agenda
It's amazing. You lived wasn't even in my agenda, right?
How many of those fucking iced teas did you drink out of the fucking container when you were a kid?
Those are cancer iced teas. Those are the ones in the container. Yeah with a missing fucking in the jokes, right?
The little little barrels. Oh my god, and you could taste the cardboard. Yep. Oh, you have no idea
And our parents just force fed it to us
We didn't want us around
So what happens to the body when you have a soda for breakfast?
There's a whole cascade of events, you know, and they'll
Express themselves differently in each person, you know, not to
Avoid the question. I'll get to it. But everybody's gonna have a different response, right?
Um, do the genetics due to your current state of health and what else it might be fucked up with you, right?
So it's all going to be a little different at the time
But the first big thing is just the the rush of insulin which essentially is insulin runs running through your body and it's
um
Looking for it's looking for good things good food to put where it needs to go because the body's broken down and
Fucked up and needs to repair and recover it needs micro nutrients and phytonutrients and like yeah the the macro protein carbs fats
That's less essential
And it goes and and it finds just this disgusting synthetic toxin essentially, right?
And now it's like well, fuck we got all this
Where are we gonna put it? Like let's just kind of put it everywhere. Let's put it in the joint in the knee
Let's put it in the artery. Let's put it in the heart. This is a very
Loose explanation of what actually happens, but this happens and it happens in some way to everybody
so the more that you do that the more
You're
Signaling whatever genetic response that you have to
Expedite the process and get more focused on on this area
And then the addictive nature of of soda which is very addictive and sugar is very addictive and synthetic sugars with different
Ingredients become very very addictive and some of the energy drinks out there have caffeine
So they're doubling and tripling the addiction and I'm not saying it's intentional, but
Factual that's that's actually happening
We know what the response is of these compounds
So people get stuck into that like the sugar, right? So we'll go back to the sugar
And
The in my opinion from where we're working where my team is is paying attention
What that does more than anything else it disrupts the digestive environment
Therefore even when you can then put good food in
It's not going to get
Digested and and broken down and absorb and assimilated and partitioned the way that it should it's going to be inferior
Simply because you were dickhead and ate the that had the soda first thing in the morning
You have all the negative effects from drinking the soda
and then
Now you have to deal with all the the backlog and the problems because
Of the the first bomb that dropped off you broke you kind of broke the infrastructure
Let's say big bomb goes off boom. That's a soda the whole infrastructure
Is fucked up in the town the streetlights don't work one of the buildings is knocked down the fucking train track is crooked
That that's happening in your body
um
And I hope people get to understand that because it's easy to just point to other people
Oh, they're fine. They're fine. Well two out of three people will die of lifestyle related illness
So they're not fine. They're actually the two people next to you or fucking idiots
So you have to think a little bit smarter and
What I try and do is is open up the factual side. Just look at it as a fact
We're not going to argue some bullshit scientific study not that studies are bullshit, but that's not the point
That's the smoke and mirrors. Really. It's all lifestyle. It's all it's it's lifestyle. It's your habits
It's being accountable and most people aren't accountable. So that goes back to that one soda
So drinking that soda every day. It's not like like oh, this soda is really good for me
It makes me feel awesome like i'm so happy to be drinking this soda right now
It's like i'm gonna drink this fucking soda
But I get that little uh that little hit from it or whatever the addiction endorphin
Serotonin whatever the response is you get that
But then you typically feel worse
Like lethargic and my stomachs fucked up and you get weird bowel movements and you know
Just everything gets thrown off and then there's a self-loathing like i'm a fucking piece of shit like what am I doing?
I didn't give a fuck when I drank a soda for breakfast. You didn't know you didn't but now if you did
Oh, yeah, never drink a soda for breakfast, but some people do I wouldn't and they haven't gotten to this version yet of of where you are
No, I wouldn't drink a soda, but you know
Can you imagine if something's like a big soda like in sitting in front of you? I'd be like
It's been like 10 years really since I drank soda
About the time I gave him coke a little afterward
I went to weight watches and I started on a diet coke and that took a while then so you transitioned off from the
The regular code by little. Yeah, okay. I just went off the coke the diet coke
Knowing how bad that's even worse for you. Yeah, that's even worse for you, but my body adjusts
Because I mean I was throwing down coke. Yeah
I can sell some water helps a lot. There were nights when I was coming back from the comedy store
And I'd stop and get a container of new york super fudge chunk
Ben and jerry's new york super fudge chunk and a 32 ounce coke. Oh, Jesus, and I'd take a cup
And I take half of it and put it in the cup and pour the coke over it and stir it and just drink soda
I would drink the full 32 ounce coke
And the whole container of ben and jerry's
New york super fudge chunk
That's on my wife. He's had to tie my shoelaces for me. Okay. Wow
That was when the if I got home and the elevator was broken
I would have to go somewhere because I was walking up the steps
I don't have the fourth floor like I wouldn't go home. Okay, like my wife would call me right
I'm not coming home. The elevator's broken. What do you mean? I'm not walking forth like some said I couldn't wow
I couldn't it was that bad one boy
And when I tell you about these eating habits that I had early on
I wasn't tremendous shame. Yeah
Because even when I went to new york in 93 and I was an open mic
I was walking around that city and I still had a 34 36 waist. I was still yeah
It didn't I didn't put the weight on till 36 till I moved out of there
Once I stopped everything I was doing my whole lifestyle of even because in new york you walk
Yeah, if there's one thing you do I talked to dean del ready that day. He says he's averaging
11 miles a day or something walking in new york
Every fucking day. Yeah, you know, that's what he averages walking between comedy clubs. He bought one of those watches
I guess I don't fucking know six miles a day. All right when you eliminate that
That fucking shocks your system quick. Absolutely and you're still eating the way you're eating
You know in 93 I walked and I belonged to a boxing gym
And basically I went in and I hit the bag and they trained me once in a while
I threw punches on mitts
But I just used it as a locker
Yeah, so I could have clothes if I had to do comedy in the city in midtown Manhattan
Nice, I would run up there work out switch and then go do comedy
I would just keep that locker in midtown Manhattan was 38 dollars a month
What the fuck it was and you gave a guy 20 you let you hit the mitts for 20 minutes
20 bucks for 20 minutes. That's all you need
20 minutes on the mitts with a good coach
Finish on the bag. You're done
It's fucking crazy how much I've learned the last
And you don't really know you don't really know you don't know it's like uh
I love people who eat acai bowls. Yeah, they kill them so softly
It's just and I didn't know this like I was doing great on way watches
And I went back one week and I gained three pounds and I looked over my menu
Yeah, I go, what the fuck am I doing at that time? I used to go to kickboxing
And go to the acai place and I would get the chia seeds with the goju berries with the bananas
The strawberries the fucking granola. Yeah, and then I would eat that acai
So I thought I was eating fruit, which is zero. Yeah, if you go home, you can eat 10 bananas for breakfast too
And you're good
That's insane. So I could eat 10 bananas for breakfast and I'm good
Sometimes if I got a stretch that day and I don't want to eat between jujitsu
Yeah, I'll eat breakfast and two bananas
And I won't eat till 1 3rd. It's like coming back from jujitsu. And this is part of the program
Yeah, way watches. That's what you want to do as long as you eat those 42 points
So you want you to eat those points every fucking day. So you can
You can eat it in one meal or two meals or 10 meals as long as you get those points and they don't care
And then there's free foods also like bananas bananas, but
This was an interesting point that when I went to the council and I go I'm eating this acai. She goes
No, she goes because when you
Drink fruit and you bite fruit. It's two different stories. So if you eat a banana, it's a zero point
If I put a banana in a milkshake, it's eight points
Because it goes past your saliva
And which breaks down that sugar and separates it. Yeah, so it's weird. I was throwing a banana in my shakes
I'm like, there's zero. Yeah. No, then I thought I'm that coconut milkshake. I would put a banana in there and go
I'm zero. No
So I had to stop eating the acai bowls even though I missed the fucking that I would just eat the top
The fruit but even the fucking uh, the goji berries. They're fucking five points
For like two ounces of goji berries and shit like that. So all that sweet stuff
Like I don't eat cake. Nothing. There's nothing in my house. Nothing
My weakness is the biggest addiction that I had was peanut butter. Okay, that was my shit for a while
I love peanut butter. I love peanut butter too getting stoned to the gills and coming home
And first you get a one spoon
Then you get another spoon and lick that then you get a third spoon
And then finally after about an hour there's 13 fucking spoons in the same shit all over with peanut butter
And you got to wash it off instantly because if you let it sit and then hit it it smells funny
Yeah
If you don't clean peanut butter off your spoon real quick and hit it the next morning your sponge will smell like
Two fucking weeks. That's true. It really is true. It's true. I love fucking peanut butter
But all that shit that i'm telling you about
Was when I was that was one of the reasons I knew
I don't know. I think I die in these ghosts. I die of a heart attack
Because of the you know what we don't have here. There's no
There's nothing to eat after 10 o'clock here. Yeah
There's taco bell, right? There's carl's tune and the shit like that. There's nothing to eat. There's denny's
There's nothing to eat. You know in jersey, I got a place that we go there till one
But like when I go home next week, I'll go up to the lab and get the seafood salad
Italian seafood salad with the calamans and the octopus
Where's this? There's a scugilia rooties and it's zero points. Oh, this is the olive oil. Come on now, papa
Come on. That's me. It's some fucking calamans. I'm not fried. That sounds awesome. I'm not fried. Just a regular
Yeah, okay. Like a ceviche type. Yeah, yeah, and they put like the italian things on
I go in there every night. I don't touch the bread
Because they don't have no butter there. So why waste my time? I'm a big olive oil guy
I believe that the reasons why italians live so long the olive oil is because of the olive oil and the red wine to uh an extent
Yeah to an extent all the old italian people I've seen live
They all do the same habit
They they dip bread and olive oil once a week. Yeah, they switched to turkey meatballs
Which kills italians. Yeah, once they got a switch of turkey meatballs that kills the time
That's like that's like taking the jew's neck brace
That kills the italian once they got to make turkey meatballs. That's the end of an italian
Yeah, man, they taste it tastes just the same. No, it don't. No, it don't all right. Leave me alone
You gotta put a piece of pork in the fucking sauce. All right. Yeah, leave me alone
If you have to you have a good sauce with turkey. Thank you. I'm not big in turkey meat though
There was one girl I used to date in seattle
That made a turkey burger that you would jerk off all over the best
And mushrooms and onion on a bun. Oh my goodness
I've never had another good turkey burger every time I take a bite of the turkey burger. I throw it away though
Tastes like dick
Well compared to what you were eating
What like like what was that thing at the at the diner would be like a cheeseburger
With the steak fries with the mozzarella on it. You know how we do it
So those jersey diners with the greek mother. Yeah, you get the cheeseburger deluxe
So you get a cheeseburger with fries gravy mozzarella cheese on the french disco fries disco fries. Fuck. Yeah
Yeah
Fuck mozzarelle
On top of french fries with gravy poured on top
With a fucking open steak sandwich
Yeah, two in the morning after a night of fucking being out. I would do a pork rolling cheese omelet
That would be my thing with the disco fries. Oh, Jesus Christ. I was fucking around here, joey. There was a place to fucking
Bart Bartfield diner something on 69th street north bergen
On wednesday night, they had cream and turkey would make your asshole sperm
Sperm would come out of your asshole cream and turkey with the open steak sandwich with the steak fries
And then I got a milkshake for dessert
You went right home
Coma nothing nothing you fall asleep with your clothes on
It's like you ain't a fucking xanax. There was always a fight there
The one way just that always drew people out of that and one night she threw this fucking guy out
Right in front of us and then one night I almost seen him get hit by a car
And then one day I found out the guy died. He left like eight million dollars. Oh shit to the waitress
No, like the guy had like there was this creepy guy used to hang out at the diner
And he used to hang out at this bar from time to time
And then one day somebody said, you know that guy's like a coke salesman like I think I was acting a total all his life
And one day he died people said he owed eight million dollars. I don't know what this got to do
Oh, it eight million or had eight million had eight million dollars. I mean, who's better son?
Who the fuck knows?
The Berkshire diner. There you go cream of turkey soup. I was never at
For about a year. I got into the tail of ham and egg. Okay on a portuguese roll. Okay
What's the difference? What's the portuguese roll? That's way before that mama luke roll that they'd ever get
What's the big thing that ties a roll? No
But what's the new one that they can't live without pretzel roll? No, it tastes like dough
It tastes like eating fucking dough potato rolls. No the other one hawaiian. No crescent rolls, whatever the fuck they are
There's a new roll that they use
Who's they
Everybody millennials ciabatta bread ciabatta bread. That's shit. Ah, that's not fucking sandwich bread. It's garbage. It's garbage
Yeah, that's garbage. This is
This is uh, portuguese roll was like an italian roll
Like an italian bread, but circular. Yeah, and it was like this big
Yeah, put a fucking egg on there with a piece of fucking
Tailor ham and egg and a piece of american cheese sliced thin. Yeah, stop a little bit of ketchup a little bit of salt pepper
What a fucking oh man
I'm an oatmeal guy too dog. Yeah, I'm a big oatmeal guy breakfast bowl milk. Yeah. Yeah, I like all that stuff
That's the daily try hard man. It's really weird how it's taking years
To stop with the night eat that going off the edibles really helped a lot. Okay. That makes sense. That fucking
You can't stop. You just can't stop. Yeah, I can't believe that for bad situations an edible. Fuck these little fucking people eating disorders
I'm gonna eat it all
I still remember several nights with pirates booty
I remember one night they didn't have pirates booty, but they had the cheese puffs my wife bought it from my daughter for lunch
And I went to the orange cheese puffs those orange ones. Oh shit
And I found the bag
And I ate the whole thing like I ate like four and I went on the weight watchers thing
And it was like four of them was like three points. I got it stopped it
And I found myself in the kitchen just
The bag was empty. There was crumbs all over me. I could hear my wife in the morning going Jesus Christ
What the fuck did you do last night? I'd made three or four sandwiches
With the cheese balls with no with them when I would get on high on those edibles some nights
I had to tell my wife to stop my coca like stop
I would go home and make one sandwich then another sandwich and I sit there for an hour and go
And then once I went the weight watch I just started eating apples
Would you eat anything with the sandwich like chips or pretzels? No
Not a chip guy or pretzel guy. Now I eat an apple. I'm no hungry. I eat a banana
If I'm still hungry, I eat an apple if I'm still hungry
Then eat the fucking sandwich and get it off at least you tried you try with the three apples
At least you know, you'll shit the sandwich out with no problem in the morning. You know what I'm saying?
You got three apples following it. It's gonna come out nice and fucking smooth in the morning
No drama, Mike. Don't you? No drama. We call that the one wiper
So Mike, don't you how you make a living then?
Same same thing same just being
You're still gonna be a nutritionist
Yeah, you know, I never was in a way because people ask what do you do? I'm like, what do you need?
I get it done. You know, it's it's more like the a fixer. I come in and I fix shit
What's going on your diets fucked up your blood works fucked up your training systems fucked up your your life is fucked up
What your focus is fucked up you you know
All these different things that can be fucked up because I have the experience of working at an elite level for over 20 years with these high level performers
I can help fix it and yeah nutrition is everything. That's the foundation
So we have nutrition is the foundation stress management and rest. That's number two more important than
Then um exercise right exercises is probably the least most important part of the entire um process
So you make sure the nutrition is sound and then you get in you start to tweak
So what do I do? That's what I do. I create content, but we have online training programs
We have a team of registered dietitians. We do a lot of work with the public
We have four best-selling books. We have you know these other, you know things that we do which is cool
So the people that need some health and fitness and weight loss stuff. We have it
But my job my goal is to share the information by any means possible sitting here and talking to you and and Lee
And the audience and and having these conversations. My job is an educator more than anything else
So it's it's when I talk I try and share this education this information based on the experience that I've had
The shit that I've seen at the the levels that I've been a part in the teams that I've worked with
And the the data that's come across my desk. So I I I just share this stuff
I just share this this is this is what I see and this is this is what happens
This is what's going to work. This is what is historically worked the vast majority of time for the vast amount of people
So what let's let's just do this stuff that stuff. Well, yeah, I worked with 12 year old epileptics
Okay, but that's that's not you that's not this
That's you know, not a bash a keto, but that's kind of the concept and it's all these different
Types of short-term we call them exclusionary fad diets
You will have short-term results six weeks to 12 weeks
Let's say and then you kind of crash you and fall off and you make a change
Yeah, I gotta get back on instead of just swinging the axe hitting singles
Eat real food every two to three hours based upon activity
You know, we don't overeat because we eat again a little while you drink water
You avoid synthetic chemicals toxins. All right, let's not hurt. Let's not poison ourselves anymore. Let's just drink real water
Eat real food. Um, you know kind of throughout the day. How about how about we just kind of do that and see what happens?
Holy shit. I'm fucking leaner than I've ever been. I'm stronger than I've ever been
I'm fucking sexier than I've ever been my digestion feels better than it ever has like all this stuff happens and it's not
Magic that's the way humans were meant to live
So it's what we suggest is is just you know
Follow the same principles that have sustained all life on the planet since the dawn of time
Eat real food and in great variety based upon local geographic availability when it's ripen in season
All right, so I could think of hundreds of different recipes out of just that batch of real food right there
Without being a whiny little bitch about it. I can't cook. I can't go to this the supermarket. Fuck you. That's
You're making an excuse now. So we eat real food in wide variety
So we get all these different micro nutrients and phytonutrients. What actually is important because we're cellular beings
We humans which we're cellular we have to think on a cellular level and that's where the micro comes in the
the micronutrients the phytonutrients everyone focuses on the macros and the high carb and the low carb that's so
You know so fucking 1987 that's so like
Small minded when it comes to really facilitating
healthy sustainable weight loss and and you know the accomplishments of fitness goals or performance goals or
The improvement of longevity because that's what I think I focus on so we kind of said earlier
What am I a nutritionist or whatever? How do I make a living?
Kind of take a longevity view longevity approach to short term goals. What's your goal? You want to win the world title?
Yeah, we can do that. You want to step on stage? Yeah, we can do that. You just want to get your body back after pregnancy
Yeah, we can do that. You coming back from a really bad visit to the the cardiologist
Yeah, we can do that too along with your cardiologist because I have a team of registered dietitians who work for me and
Facilitate that and that is liaisons and we build the nutrition the supplementation that doesn't have contradictions based upon the doctor's diagnosis
And the prescription medicine so that's what my team my company does a lot of people don't know that that part of the business
Is much bigger than any MMA business anyone has ever seen the MMA stuff. Well, that's fun
And yeah, that was you know, I did that at the the highest level for for a period of time
Very much because it was driven out of passion because I felt I had a skill that I could I could help kind of
Walk these athletes through this very dangerous process
And I had a skill set to help them do that as healthy as possible
So that was kind of the goal and it built a nice little business in in one niche
So the business now is is is a broad global content
Outlet with personalized programs and online programs and apps and books and and all that stuff
But I try and give most of my information for free that stuff's there if you need it
But what we're going to talk about fuck man, that's thousands of dollars and just pro pro tip right there. Just take it taking start
Now one thing that's been really controversial last couple years that you're the expert in I mean, I saw what you did
Was weight cutting weight cutting. Yeah, for sure
you know
I mean, I don't know. I have all these
Like I I don't know what I'm doing like when it comes to fighting. I'm not a fighter. I'm a comic
Well, you know, yeah, you try man you get in there, but no, but I think about like
How a guy can't make weight. Yeah, I could be that far off
How a guy
You know, his system breaks down, you know, we've seen yeah three or four fighters in the last couple years that their system broke down
What was the kid
Years ago the first guy on tough
That they they kept pulling them into the sauna
He owns a jujitsu school right up the corner here and then seen no nice guy
Yeah
Nice guy it started with him in the wet suit and the bicycle
Forget the kid now they be fell in the steam room and they had to drag them into the steam room
And they didn't make weight cost check was dragging around. Okay. I remember. Yeah. Yeah
I mean, how serious is this shit? It's deadly
It's fucking deadly man. That's that's no shit. It's deadly. It's a deadly sport though
Right, these fuckers are swinging baseball bats at each other's skulls at a very high level for 15 to 25 minutes
These fighters don't fuck around so to go through so as extreme as they are in that field
They will take their weight cut to the same extreme also like they take a lot of their life to the extreme in certain ways
With the weight cut it's like i'm good bra. I'm good bra. I'll suck it down get it off
You know, they don't do what they should do when we work with athletes. We call them career athletes
I don't want one off athletes. I want an athlete. We work with 52 weeks out of the year
You in season and off season you are monitored by a dietician. We are setting goals. We are talking to your team
We're making sure that everybody's accountable and in the process
I don't want an eight week training camp or here's some cash. Can you get me on weight in three days?
We get those offers all the time too. I don't want that money
um
So where did the the beginning of this start? I just fell off the ledge. Oh, it's a year long
You want a year round thing?
So like the trouble with the weight cutting is the athletes don't manage their weight
They bring in teams that are ill prepared to
Help the athlete manage their weight or experience to adequately oversee a weight cut and then rehydration
A lot of these teams that come here and the athletes rely on these teams or their own internal teams
They're jujitsu coach their wrestling coach their moi tai coach their boxing coach
All who have very good intention, right?
They they want to see the athlete do well and they're going to give them the old wives tales of what they did or what their coach had them
Do which was severely flawed. It's it's deprivation. It's deprivation. It's starvation is dehydration
That's all they do eat less drink less work more get hotter put that suit on put the plastics on getting the fucking
You know bathtub, you know stay in the bathtub. Don't leave the room duct tape the fucking door shut turn on the blow dryers
That's what these fuckers are doing. That's insane, man. That's that's what I talk about with
You know I want to go too far on on specific issues, but globally that's the problem
So when these athletes are missing weight if there's a couple reasons some athletes really try and they're so fuck
They just medically can't do it, but usually it's because they've been doing it the wrong way
They shut their body down weeks beforehand two weeks before in 10 days beforehand
They pulled their sodium way too soon. They're only drinking distilled water. There's no carbohydrate coming in their body
There's no glucose for them to operate, but they're doing media. They're driving in cars
They're stressed out then their coaches are having them trained once or twice a day during fight week at high levels
Like coach what the fuck this athlete is coming in on fumes
In order to fucking make weight because you guys were all dickheads for the last 16 weeks and tightened it up
Two weeks beforehand and you're having them fucking go hard every night door and fight week for what purpose
So you're gonna forget how to fucking fight
And that you know that's you know in issue and then so that's going on
I saw a fighter main event fighter in a big big fucking fight not my fighter, but a big dude
At like 12 o'clock at night
In the gym where I was done for the day and I was going to get my work in and before I fell asleep
And I had to be up at five o'clock the next morning. I walk in dog shit tired. They have this
athlete on the fucking treadmill cutting weight in plastics with the ramp as high as it will go sprinting
Screaming at him just like you know vulgar
You know your fucking pussy and you know whatever to like motivate him if you will the athlete's falling
Can't keep up can't keep pace. They're cutting weight. They're not working cardio. They're cutting weight. This is the night before lions
He goes out there and he makes weight and is gaunt as hell and loses a very very close fight
Loses a very close fight had they not killed him in that type of workout had they
Properly brought him in on weight healthy with his you know micro nutrients intact if you will
He would have probably got a three round finish because he wouldn't have broken down as as fast
So weight cutting the dangers of weight cutting manifest in many ways that athlete you could say took probably
60 extra blows to the head
Because he wasn't in the physical shape because he drew himself down so far down
That he had to go in extra two rounds with that guy who was punching him in the face
You could have the conversation on that and we kind of look long term also
um
So when we work with athletes, we want it to be 52 weeks out of the year
But also our goal when we work with an athlete is not to win the ufc world title
It's to tell their great grandchildren about when they won the ufc world title
That's the conversation we have with our athletes
So if you just want to get across the finish line faster, well, that's not it's not what we do
You will get across it faster faster must fat much faster or we're looking somewhere else
You know, we're looking completely somewhere else
So
What about the pretty fucking talent term sorry
Oh, no because they keep the the fuck i'm doing the other side that I keep hearing is that sometimes they
Like they miss weight on purpose like it's beneficial to them to lose the
The person just be a little heavier. How much does that I've been a part of this?
I've seen it firsthand never our athlete because my athletes are always on weight
So we always have and we knew some athletes and some teams there's you know, you know the reputation
You're probably going to make an extra 20 because these fuckers are going to pull up short
And what a lot of athletes do is they pull up short within usually it's within three pounds
Of the weight class because they just fucking
Usually they're being a dickhead in the off season, right?
And then they just quit during fight week and then they pull up a little early
You know within three pounds so the fight won't get called off
It's like four and up five enough the fight might get called off by the commission
You get it within three within two that's kind of ideal
So you don't have to go through the last little bit of hell any athlete will tell you any fighter will tell you the last two pounds
Or the I'd rather cut the first 20 than the last two
100% I've cut weight fucking godless times myself in my own life. I've been in there in in these situations
So
Lost where I was again
How about that?
Now
Okay, so you fight at 155. Yeah
What do you walk around in the off season?
If if you're a 55 athlete. Well, mercedes bechtek. Let's use him. He fights at 145
He walks around no higher than 172. We like to keep his weight usually about 164
164 to 168 on you know, let's say we're hitting strength phases
Three week strength phase. That's probably 12 weeks before his next fight. He we might blow him up a little bit to high 60s
You know even low 70s
But rarely anymore not for the last two years
I like him to be 62 to 64 which he primarily is and then three weeks out
We'll bring him down into mid 50s or so. So he still feels good
He's not really
Sacrificing anything yet. We're not pulling the food if you will and we just rearrange the food intake
So it's not so much a calorie reduction
It's just a restructuring of the calories that are actually coming in because we focus on a lot of the digestibility of the food
And most people don't talk about how is the food actually digesting?
So if we have ample or proper digestion efficient digestion
The food acts differently and most athletes don't
Digest properly the timing is issues and I do take issue with a lot of the the
the synthetics like the the powders and the the
You know
Workout drinks and things like that. Even athletes doing like Gatorade and power it from that stuff all the way to like the the concoction
Um solutions, you know pediolites and things like that
That actually has a lot of sugar, right? It's it has a lot of sucralose
Which which is shown. I don't even know how many times to disrupt digestion and the digestive environment
So why am I going to put a synthetic chemical into my
My digestive environment that will fuck up the operation of the digestive environment
While i'm at death's doorway
And I need to get real fucking food and nutrients back in me motherfuckers
But down in my gut like the fucking barbarians are fucking fighting the english
While you know all the fucking parachute, you know droppings of good healthy stuff is trying to commit it's just getting chewed up
because these synthetic chemicals and
And this is what frustrates me and because what our system is most people say adult chases shit's just so simple
He always says the same basic shit
Yeah
Because he fucking works he works as us
We're the only team with a 100 success ratio over 20 years
We work with the fucking worst of the best
The johnny hendrix the the tiago alva's respectfully when it came to weight cutting kelvin gas to them rampage
I don't even fucking know v tore
The we miss weight multiple times had issues never with us
And that was some of their best performances from a health standard whether they fought a beast in front of them or not from a health perspective
That's that's what we do. We don't I mean the fucking whole macro thing
That's fucking like 90s
If they're still focused on macros you're fucking 20 years behind
But what i've had the opportunity to do because i've been doing it at such a high level for so long
i'm on the fucking cresting wave everybody's on the beach
Like they don't even know what the fuck i'm doing it'll take them three years to even understand
What the fuck we're doing out here because every week it's new athlete new athlete new athlete new athlete
New data, you know new input new technique new food new timing new this new dad. Oh boom another one high level athlete
A type A type A type A type come on now
So it's it just through time if I was an idiot
I think we would we would have arrived at this point because this is what works
It's just the scientific method all the way through what works best what works best what works best what works best this is what works best
This is it and nobody can refute it because they'll like well this thing does that too
like
Either lower your insulin if you don't have first carbs first thing in the morning
So that means I should eat that completely for everything forever and ever and ever
And then you can buy my powder and take my pills and then come on over here and join my thing
That's what that shit is. That's not what what I do. It's not what we do
So when we deal with athletes, that's the way it is
So when I said the fix right come in like fix shit you're not sleeping enough you're fucking trained you're training too much
Three high intensity sessions in 72 fucking hours. You crazy
No wonder why you can't sleep because you're already in overreaching overreaching syndrome overreaching state. You're already there
Like your body's you're fucking wired it to shit
Oh, no wonder now your punches aren't coming off
You look like shit in training because your fucking nervous system isn't operating the way it should
And also like you come and come in and you know massage those areas fix that areas speak of the johnny heads
He's fighting every he fought in the bare knuckle thing
How do you do not good? He got knocked out. I think in the first round by dakota cochran
Who's a big he's like a tough level kid ultimate fighter. No disrespect. He's a fighter, you know, but he was like a
Journeyman kind of at the tough level
Um fucking knock johnny out look nasty doing it look like a world beater
Came out there and fucking no respect just ran right through. Why did johnny look like man not not good
Not like he did against gsp man
That was the best that was the best the best version of johnny the most mentally focused
He was was getting ready for gsp when I first started working with johnny before the uh
I don't even know the fight now so many it was a lot of fights. I think it was with johnny for seven fights
So what's your goal?
Is it to beat george st. Pierre?
It's okay not to win the fucking world title just so happened george had that goal
That's all he wanted to do and why not for the fucking money just to say that I was better
That's all johnny wanted to do
I'm fucking on that. He's the best guy in the fucking world johnny hendrix thinks he's better
And on that day, I believe that they did fight. I do believe johnny hendrix was better
I believe he was better and I believe he won that fight. I believe he clearly won that fight. No disrespect
George got the decision. I think even george knows that he didn't win that fight
You know, I believe so and it's it's not it's just it was a beauty a beautiful event
I think johnny did enough to win and after that fight I said, yeah
Yeah, yeah, he did what he had to do and he was done. He was I believe so mentally. Yeah, that's it. It happens
What do you get back up for right? You did it. Yeah, that's it. No, you shot your load. Yeah
It's over. It's tough to come back from that. He was so focused man. He's a now if he would if he would have beat george
It would have been a whole different other animal. He would have made way god knows how long he would have done well
Yeah
That's uh, yeah, that's a mental block a lot of people have they
Get to that certain spot and they they're very happy and they move on and that's okay too
That's okay too. But you got to get out in the fight game. You guys not like, you know, you're you're running coffee shops
When you mentally hit that point you got to get out where you get knocked out by dakota cochran and the bare knuckle fighting championship
That's not good for your kids, right? That's not good for your family or for your legacy
You know, that's that's that's a concern, you know, and we'll see we're learning a lot about
The aftershock of the ufc right now. Yeah, I just read a good article
Staying her posted on saturday. Did you see that? No, I don't think so. I was gonna get the fight and then I read this article
And it was about why chuckled out how to fight
Because he had a job at the ufc, but they fired and went up william morris bought in
So he was looking for money. So he had to take that fight at 48 years old. What the fuck?
Financial reasons need that money for though like chuck. No, this I'm a numbers guy. I'm you know, I pay attention
What did he make in his career 10 mil four mil?
Well, okay, you fucking got to come back and fight for money
And uh, you know, it's I'm just being honest. Well, what the fuck happened to that money?
You watched live in the life. You watched the movie broke the document. Yeah
Get a fucking 401k guys. You really have to
You know, it comes and it goes. Yeah
if you don't
Appreciate it and you think it's never gonna end
Bro money goes fast. These people think they're gonna live off a certain amount unless you have
Your own property you got a fixed income from it and the mortgage or whatever
But money goes fast, you know, and
You how many trainers do they have at that? You know, you got this guy 10 10 10 10
You're paying four tens. Yeah, and you're paying taxes. Yeah
So when you're paying four tens and a five for an attorney
That's you know, that's a lot of fucking money. You know, it's tough on how big a payday
Well, what do you have an agent or a manager?
Yeah, an attorney
I got the fucking I got dolce. Yeah, I got the jujitsu coach. Yeah, they all got to eat
Yeah, most of them don't though. That's a sad. That's a sad thing. Most of them don't they all got to eat
so
You know, it's so funny when you
We talk about this all the time
That I've seen it again. I've been here for 20 years. I've seen guys come out here nothing
Get on the tv show, you know, they were with uh
They were with uh the John Fogley agent
Okay, and la mure management and now they were three yards cAA
They got ash golf berry and whatever for attorneys you look at their imdb
And you count five people at their automatically paying and that's not counting the three percent of the business manager
And then your sitcom goes off the air
And one day you got to call for your business man. He's like, hey dog
I don't know if you know that you're almost out of doubt or you got to start reducing your
That guy that you take on the road to do jumping jacks with he's no bueno no more. You got to let him go
You know, I seen comedians do some wild stuff in 20 years
I had a friend that would bring a trainer on the road. He's on ships now
Tell me he wishes. Yeah fucking. I think I know this guy
60 something and now he's doing ships. Yeah used to bring a trainer with him on the road really
You just can't go to a gym and the whole gym
A truck would be filled with no no no a comedian guy would bring a trainer with it
Okay, like if he was like johnny gumball like if he had muscles. Yeah, it was no reason
It was crazy. Yeah paying this guy too grand. Yeah
To train you really you bring a trainer with you on the road and he wasn't no ron white
Okay, you know at least ron whites making seven eight million a year
I could see ron white bringing a trainer with him on the road. Yeah, but not this guy. This guy was mediocre
And he was bringing a fucking trainer with him on the road
I don't know like five years ago on a plane and he wouldn't stop bitching
I always had at the zanes and he was headed to a ship
He was taking to chicago to galveston connecting flight because he had no points left
But he made millions
He bought a house up in the mountains
And now you got to keep up with the jones. Yeah, and he wouldn't sell it
And god knows what the fuck he's doing. He used to bring a trainer with him on the road
The day I tell you I'm bringing a trainer with me. Just smack me in the face. Unless it's me
Unless it's mickey. Yeah, they won't be important. Don't change shit. Right making sure I don't put that fucking fork down
Don't touch that fucking cove. I'll carve those still around in jersey. You see there
Is that one of them? I think there is one there used to be one right on 35 in neptune. That's where we would go
That was the one. I think that's gone now in neptune, right? Jesus Christ
I'm gonna be playing at neptune cramber school bitty basketball
1978 almost killed us. Isn't that where nickerson is from?
Yeah, yep, neptune. Yep. I think he was at very high school, right? Yeah, and then who else to quarterback joe thysman's from down there
Okay, thysman. We have bon jovi, of course bon jovi bruce springsteen bruce
You guys got a lot of motherfuckers down there. Sure
A lot come a lot of you know, a lot of your people come and live in that county in that area, you know
They've accessed a 45 minute from the city an hour to filly
45 to a lannick city, you know international flights in and out kids can run the streets with doors open
You fly to filly or nord? Nord. I like nord. How far are you now when you land?
It's um, I could be standing in my house in under 60 minutes, you know
And that's uh, that's like a that's too much. It's 45 mile drive. Yeah, that's too much. Yeah
After a plane ride, I can't do it now. That's why I didn't buy a house and willow mills
That's why you fly in the burbank, right? I fly in the burbank on the shore once I find the burbank as much as I could
Yeah, you know that in the old days. There was a lot more flights out of burbank. There's a flight to new york out of burbank
Leave tonight at 10 55 jet blue. Yeah, that takes you to county. It's not a bad flight
Land in county at five in the morning. It's not a bad flight. It's not a bad one
But it's just that hour drive after three days on the road. I just want to get home
I just want to get home. I get up in the middle of the night like a burglar
At four in the morning on a saturday to get on that four or five at nine in the morning
I have to deal with it. I kill myself on saturdays. I sleep a little extra
I work out and I fucking sleep like four hours
I catch three four hours of sleep. I go on the plane. I don't sleep on the plane
I drink water the whole flight
Nothing salty and then I get I do exercises
I move my feet on the plane up and down because the calf
Is the heart of the legs the fucking pump of the legs so I keep so my ankles don't get swollen
I mean, I watch all that shit. You have to when you travel have to have to there's radiation on the plane
That's where you have to have to drink water. Yeah
You know and try to drink alcohol on a plane
I get fucked up on a plane like i'll smoke a joint going to fucking
But that thing's not gonna kill no, but it's just gonna slow the fucking minister. Yeah, so but that's it mickey doche
It was a fucking
It was just great seeing you. I know man. I always learn something new when I see you
Where can they find you at the dolce diet dot com? That's it. That's it. That's the website. That's that's everything we have
You know, it's um, you know, I don't want to be salesy, but we got a bunch of shit there
They can use your code church and save 10% if they want to but whatever, you know
It's all there and I'm always here. I'm accessible, you know, I try and be accessible through social
No, I see you. I see you you do the q&a. I do that on instagram. I read a lot and I go wow, you know
People have no and I see a lot of people take pictures for you. Yeah
I see a lot of people you interact with people which is huge. Yeah, that's all they want
I try them it's just a little bit of confidence. I'm just amen. You drive
You try you drop two pounds or whatever people have no idea
how really tough it is to
You know, if if elite athletes
Have a hard time cutting weight. Yeah, think of what regular guys
You know, yeah, it takes a little bit more distance if elite athletes have a hard time cutting weight
Imagine the american Joe. Yeah, it's it's all habits, man
It's just you just establish the habits and people act like it's it's such a hindrance
On their life to like have to plan their food
It actually frees your life up
Like I know what I'm gonna eat tomorrow. I know what I'm gonna eat all the meals tomorrow
So I don't have to worry about what the fuck am I gonna eat right now driving in my car? What do you want?
I don't know. What do you know? What do you feel like? I don't know what do you feel like that fucking boom?
I'm done. I'm fed already. I'm already now steps ahead
So and the food you can have whatever you want food wise, you know, what you were saying before we have the
The breakfast bowl, which is the oats the berries the peanut butter we have the the chili we have the
fajitas, you know and and the pastas and and and the steak and the and the leaner meals and the
You know, wall dwarf salads and all that shit
It just comes down to the consistency. I don't care really what the fuck you eat
Just make sure it's real food and eat it throughout the day
You know about the same size of meal, you know four times a day is probably a good approach to eating
You don't have to worry about fasting, you know
It's just eating a good four clean meals per day and a meal could be an apple and some cashews or it could be
salmon and asparagus it could be a
A burger, you know and and some some baked steak fries at home
Which will slice a potato throw it in the oven for 20 minutes and well, we have french fries here done
Tastes better than the bullshit. You'll fucking get at most restaurants for 15 bucks
um
So again, that's that's the take man. That's what we do. That's that's the message
Well, I went to weight watchers yesterday. Yeah, and I weigh in that 286. Okay. It was my anniversary december 9th
And I walked in there at 309 my goal was to get away from 300
As much as possible. What I usually do is december. I work harder. Yeah
December is a really easy one to gain weight. Yeah, and then you're dead in january. I don't do that
I tighten it down in december like I tighten it down
Like even in new york, I'll eat. I'll go crazy one day. I have to yeah
I gotta get chinese with my friends one night or whatever
But I'll keep it like if I go eat Italian. I won't touch the bread
You know, you gotta eat the pasta
I won't eat. I won't you know, I won't touch the dessert. Okay. I won't touch the dessert. I'll drink water
I'll do the salad
And I'll do something
Spaghetti-ish but not meat-ish. Yeah, and if they got something fishy if they got uh, you know
Chiappino or something like that. I'll always go to seafood wrap. Yeah, I'll always go to seafood wrap
That's always a win. But if I go to a cuban restaurant now, I've been really good the last two times
Cubans make great chicken. Okay that garlic chicken and then some kind of grill
That's delicious. So again with black beans and red rice or black beans or red beans and white rice
It's basically eight points
and that's
Eight points is not fucking bad
Yeah, and you can eat chicken. So I kept 25 off for the year
My anniversary was 25 pounds down. That's awesome. Now. You should be proud. I'm proud of you
You gotta remember that's going on the road. Yeah, that's fucking, you know, that's tight and I'm 55
I drink water and I gain weight. You know, I gotta go to kickbox and I gotta go to jujitsu tomorrow
I lift, you know, that's the lifting has fucked me up a little too. Yeah
The lifting's a little bit heavy keeping the weight on a little bit. Yeah
I didn't lift and it shot me up a couple weeks ago. I went up to like
291 I was like, what the fuck on that barbarian brother program. I asked her I go
How much am I squatting? She's like, I think last week you squatted four seven days ago
Yeah, so we got a fucking, you know, she does the slow motion with the stopwatch. Okay
So it's all 10 up and down. Yep
And they try for two and a half minutes, but you could if you could do three
Okay, then the last one you got to hold it at the squat position then drop it Jesus christ
Huh, that's a whole body. Oh my god. All I do is five exercises. Okay, then after that
We do a pull down with like 300 pounds
She buckles me up and do a pull down all the way down
Then after that do a bench press
Then after that we do an abdominal machine where it's up to here and you have to put your hands on go all the way out
Nice. Okay. It opens up your back really sharp. Yep. You're out of in 20 minutes. It's a stopwatch workout
Okay, and it builds cardiovascular. I feel better in jiu-jitsu. My breathing has really improved the jiu-jitsu
Is this at a gym? Does this happen? Yeah. Okay. It's called p.o fitness. Yeah strength. That sounds good
I like that. It's a chick and I knew about this train. I had heard about it before and I looked into it and I go, you know what
This is one at 55 is when I really have to start doing something. Yeah a little different. So I do the muay thai
Twice a week if I get two muay thai's two jiu-jitsu's and two strengths in
That's good. That's good pro athlete level and I take the two days off to rest
Some weeks I'll do one jiu-jitsu and two kickboxings. Yeah, some weeks I'll do
Two jiu-jitsu, you know two kickboxings and the jiu-jitsu like last week I went to lawyer and I trained Friday at rhd down there
And I trained up here on two, you know, I'm just trying. Yeah, 55 year old guy with a five year old
I'm not trying to be mr. America. I'm not trying to do steroids and then
I'm just trying to keep the weight off to keep the heart healthy and that's it
And that's it man. It's the name of the game smoking reefer. No, nothing else. Just reefer no alcohol. Yeah, and uh
That's it mickey dodger. I'm just still in the shot that he moved to jersey and I'm kind of
It's ballsy
It's ballsy that I don't have those balls right now. I wish I could tell you that I had the balls
In my heart, there's times I'm like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. I just don't know where to go
Jersey and I don't want to make a mistake. So when we went we we weren't gonna go back
We're gonna go somewhere else and then when we're gonna go
Maybe new hope, Pennsylvania close enough far enough, you know, that's a nice area actually Doyle's town. Yeah
Some nice areas up there. Some good houses. You know some good deals still
And you're really two hours out of the city. You're close enough to the city. You got horses up there
You look like a fucking white person to take the kids to the beach on the weekend, you know, no problem
That's a really fucking nice. So we were looking there and then we rented a house
In my hometown for the summer just like end of august. Let's go down there
Rented the house like, you know, right where, you know
We ended up moving to because we sat there on the front porch at first night
And the breeze was because it was kind of a hot humid day
But the cold breeze blew in off the ocean and you could hear the rustling of the trees in the background and
Kind of neighbors soft porch lights, you know, all in down this beautiful tree line street
Here in the pounding ocean, you know on the sand just, you know
Blocking a half away
My wife and I were just sat there like this is it. We gotta we gotta get back here
This is this is no sin. No, stop fucking around coming back here. Let's set a plan
That was august of 2017 august of 2018
Move my entire family packed up our trucks sold everything in vegas essentially packed up my truck
wife
Three-year-old daughter one-year-old daughter seven-year-olds american pitbull rescue
12-year-old main koon cat in the back of the suburban
And we were homeless because we sold our house
August 5th and we weren't closing on the new house until august 10th. So legitimately we were homeless
Which is good. Which is good. I loved it
Fucking and we're just in the in the truck and it was like across the country go over the fuck we want right now
Yeah, you know, and then we had the destination we got there and it's it's just been awesome ever since
Well, I'm happy you made the move. I'm happy that
Now you inspired me a little bit. You gotta come out
But it's always good seeing you man. Whatever you're in town. You're always welcome on the show
If you want to call in whatever you want, right on brother, you know your family
It's always great to see you my brother. Yes, sir. I'm happy you fucking made time for us. Oh, yeah
I missed you man. It's been too long and don't forget. I got no no day. It's over. I got fucking
Bakersfield Wednesday night
And then I won't see you motherfuckers again to like the 27th of december in oxnard levity live
I think the 27 through the 29th or something. So that's it. I'm going on vacation
We're shutting down the podcast next week and everything when I'm fucking around
So, uh, that's it. And that's that I'll see you motherfuckers
Thursday morning tip top mogul. I want to thank
Mike dolce. I want to thank the flying jew and I want to thank you motherfuckers for listening and for being family
And if you came to the hoy last weekend, thank you very much to shows with fucking sensational
All right, I want to thank my main man Mike dolce for stopping by today
But most importantly, I want to thank you guys, but real quickly do not forget now to december 25th
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Slash joey again. I want to thank my main mac doke. Mike dolce
I want to thank the christ killer
I want to thank kishi for stopping by and I want to thank you motherfuckers for being part of the church family
Like I said earlier if you came to the hoy this weekend. Thank you very much for the great shows
And that's it. That's that i'll see you thursday morning motherfuckers ready to rock have a great day
Stay black uncle joey loves you kick that muley
Nice and easy nobody got their feelings, sir
I want to be around
To pick up the pieces
When somebody breaks your heart
Some somebody twice as smart as I
I
Somebody who
Will swear to be true as you used to do with me
Who'll leave you to learn that misery loves company
Wait and see
I mean I want to be around
To see how he does it when he breaks your heart to bits
Let's see if the puzzle fits so fine
And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet
As I sit there applauding from a front row seat
When somebody breaks your heart like you
Like you
Yeah
You