Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #647 - Sam Tripoli

Episode Date: January 7, 2019

Sam Tripoli, stand up comedian and host of the, "Tin Foil Hat" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. Sam's new special is available for rent and download at https://www.samtripoli.com/ This podcast is brought to you by: Hims - Go to ForHims.com/joey for a trial month of everything you need to keep your hair - for just $5.   ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church    Recorded live on 01/06/2019.


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January 7 back to work you motherfuckers. It's a new year new golds Kicking Lee kickin kickin kickin We ain't fucking around here. It's Monday cocks up this wake them up Are you fucking kidding me or what a little Michael Shankman? He's coming in April. I'm going with Dean del Rizzi Three nights at the whiskey My man Sam Tripoli the Christ killer What up you bad motherfuckers beautiful Monday, that's everybody's back to work the game is over

The hugs the bullshit stories the apple cider the gifts now comes the credit card bill Now comes the credit card on the 15th, and you're real cracked But you know what who gives a fuck you have to spend some time with your family and your loved ones And it's that time of the year where it's nice to stop and smell the fucking roses if you have a rose We all have a rose Sam Tripoli. What up, dude? Thanks for having me on. I love you and happy new year Happy new year to both you mean Happy new happy anniversary on a year doing stand-up. You're killing it Thank you everybody you brought on me to the Santa Barbara for my first real gay

Hey, dude, I'm so happy for you, man. I like the jacket brother. Thank you, buddy. You know got this my girlfriend saw Grandmother picked it nailed it right how many times is Graham 85 year old girl women nailed it. She's Armenian. No, she's Jew Hey, dude, I love the Jews dog. You've been with this one long time long time yeah That's why you couldn't do it. You went to a concert with her one time. I didn't even know you had a girlfriend You got 15 years. I want you to be with a 15 But you keep away from the store you keep a low on wraps. You got her in the way She's there more than anybody. I know dude really like if you think of all the guys who've been there forever and their girls She goes there the most and I'm cool that she loves comedy. I never see anybody swimming there. I know you're 20 years

I never met this girl. You've met my girlfriend. Really? Yes Jesus Christ, I gotta stop smoking You've met her a bunch of times 15 fucking years you've met her a bunch of times How long have you been at the store for I've been there since 2000 99 2000 you've been a fucking you're coming up on 20 years. I love it You imagine that 20 fucking years. I can't believe it. I mean dude. It's an I mean that OR is Fucking jumping every night every night. It's it's and it's amazing that we saw the upswing Like we were there when nobody was coming there. Oh, yeah dungeon club like people will look down

I love I'm thankful for those years me too. I learned so much me too It's that comedy store was like danger feels Nobody talked about it no more it existed But it just was something that it was just polluted. It was too dark for some people But everything else is on fire the laugh after the improv now We saw the whole fucking thing the whole man. So it's very interesting to see. It's crazy, dude I've been following up Brian Holspin in the OR and I've been killing it I used to bomb constantly after him. He was one of those guys either he destroys the room and they're like, oh my god

It's great or like he puts them in weird place. How does he go up now? I mean, I went up at 1115 so he did 11 Wow He called me a few weeks ago with a gig for a gig. I couldn't do the gig I love him dude. I and you know man The people come to the store. They're looking for edgier comedy. So now it's like he's starting to hit and it's fun to watch He is he's one of my favorite comments. He's one of my favorite though He's so different than everybody else and he's so funny. It was just We had deep deep conversations. I mean I

Fifteen years ago and he knew that he couldn't do his set on the road as a feature His set would not fly right somebody would fire right. Oh Out the game. So many headlines that don't like following that. Yeah, I'll do it. They can't follow it So it could get it could get tossed. I remember he's from Long Island He told me he did a spot one time and that the club bowl and this isn't governors is completely different governors is a great club today, but 20 years ago was run by an agency. Oh, it was a booking agency that ran the club clean comedy No, no, no, no, just it was just a fucking they didn't know it just was something weird. So

Brian Holtsman went down and it wasn't that it was clean You know at the time Brian Holtsman's talking about letting this kid suck his dick at a baseball game or some shit or something You know, I mean they just wouldn't fly it would fly it flew at the comedy store because it was late And and he was comfortable there. He's comfortable there. That's not gonna fly and In Detroit at fucking That one club that's not gonna fly you have to shoot his special without him knowing it, right? That's the thing about he's him and I have similar things. He we fall apart when the camera's on I fall apart Really? Yeah, I don't I mean I did a lot better like when I did the best thing I ever did in my opinion

Was Ari's things. Yeah, that's the best work I ever did was on Ari's things as a comic And as an actor I think married but at that time Like I was they wrote specific for me and I just played myself and I just went over the top So that in my world is is good. Everything else is bullshit. I Think you're great. I mean I've seen your sets. I know you probably beat your shit yourself up We do that all the time, you know, but I think you're I love watching how you just specials really good I'm super excited man. It's doing really well. It's called zero fucks and I broke it

It's two parts zero fucks and Armageddon and you can find on vimeo.com backslash on demand Zero zero fucks or on demand Armageddon or just put in Sam Tripoli and dude, I love it, man I want when I moved here. I'm like, I want to do my special the viper room and it just happened to work out and The blessings in my life is that I exactly produced my own special It's gorgeous dude, and I pretty much made my money back and I'm about to you know I'm about to put out the record in February, so I'm super stoked man. Good for you I'm so excited. We moved here. The viper room was really hot Yeah, there was a line around the corner at the viper room then Rogan did it one night, and I opened for him

It was fucking tremendous back in there like right around fear factor He was doing all these off-shoot rooms, and I would open for him in different spots That's right around what I just got into the store around that we also did that room There's a there's a restaurant a Chinese restaurant. Maybe Beverly Boulevard the mint. Yes The mint. Yes. We did the mint. It's like I'm Pico, right? Oh, yeah It's like yeah, it's like the other we did the mint one night when he was hot We did the theater on Wilshire when he was hot This is 2099

Do you know Joe when he wasn't hot? I mean like I met Joe when he was on news radio And I didn't know and he got that like right off the plate, right? No, no, no, no, he had a baseball show and then that got canceled and then what kind of a baseball show like a It was on Fox. Oh, and what's it like a scripted baseball show? Really? Yeah He played one of the baseball players of some shit He got a deal and he came out here and he shot the show and the show got canceled and then something happened he got another deal and They shot this is weird. They shot news radio, but the original guy was Ray Romano. Yeah

And he got fired and Joe replaced him and Ray Romano went on to be Ray Romano Ray Romano, so again if Ray Romano would have went home and shut the curtains like Sonny black and fucking in Dolly Brasco Nothing happens, you know, right what people on the same that you and I were talking about before the show started was like We've gone through battles like I just remembered that you were part of that Howard Stern competition and And then I remember just here you me in front of you. I remember you had a TV show for a while that he did crazy shit Yeah, you did something with rampage. Yeah, or something. I fought rampage. Right. You fought right in my own stunts You're right. He threw you around or something, you know, this all this all incorporates your body of work

Whether it's negative or positive you did it You know, yeah, dude, it's just really weird. So when Ray Romano lost that Joe picked up news radio I move out here And I become a regular at the store and at the store one night the girl I was with Said oh, he's on they kept saying news radio. I never talked to him. I didn't talk to him for the first two months there I thought news radio was a radio show Like I was a comic then You know, I'm saying who's on that Brooke Shields. No, it was a tremendous Phil Hartman Phil Hartman one of the Andy dick

Was Kathy Griffin on that? No, no the brunette chick and the redhead chick that I just saw her in an audition About a year ago. She's broke because she's hooked up with Nick multi and started doing coke Dave whatever it was a great show NBC just didn't stand behind it and they kept moving it around So one from Tuesday night to Wednesday night to Thursday night change like ask them next time you see them thumb It's really interesting the show worked and made it to five years with three schedule changes Hey, I've never heard how you got picked up. I always hear everybody's story about how they ended up becoming a regular Did anything interesting happen when you got picked up?

Because I've always known you as a regular that I just saw about that There's a time you got picked up and we're made a regular we would I went through the ten-year period the first ten years of my career And I talked to you know How long did it take you to get picked up? What's it with a kid right now? That's been doing comedy for a year a little baby. Hi, baby and People gonna give him shit in about three months, you know, he's gonna walk into a club Somebody's gonna whisper something to somebody's ear and

And he's gonna see it. He's gonna see all the things I saw that you know, how people Will say oh well he gets on stage because he's in the Joey the same triply. I don't believe in life that way I believe in life and opportunities, right if you got up off the fucking bed and Boston flew out here You're in the game That's your opportunity If you made a friend and for some reason he puts you on his TV show So be it the guy believes in you and we rather you have it than somebody else But some people can't live with that. It drives them crazy. They always got to say something

Well, she got it because that's her father or because whatever whatever was she went to the your fucking audition, right? She went to the fucking audition. Yeah, okay as we could see right now. What's a girl from friends? Jim France. Yeah, my god father whatever look at her. She's a piece of fucking ass. Yeah, yeah, and she could act You know I'm saying she's still around 20 years later. So obviously you were fucking wrong You were fucking wrong. You follow me like right away. Well, well, they got the show because of the father No, it's called opportunity. You got up off your ass. Kristen Lee is like that And he's a super talented guy, you know, and you're at the right place at the right fucking spot. Yeah, that's it. So I was very fortunate like

People have bad luck in their life It took me a month to get into the store I Got here January 29th and by February 19th. I was a regular How could you know but on the flip side of that are you auditioned how many times like I was either 28 or 38? Okay, so you understand me. It really doesn't matter. All that is part of your journey For me, I just happened to log out, but I didn't go to Montreal. I never got a big agent I never had a big manager all those years. The only thing I had was the store So it was the only thing I had so I had to treat it a certain way

Because it was all I had that was the only person who believed in me people would come in and say you're funny, but We're not gonna fucking pick him up. He's I was fucking mine. We're Mitzi short promoted my oh, yeah She got that. She loved when I threw a cue ball at a car. She loved when I broke the microphone She loved the chaos. She loved chaos. So I was home. You follow me. So that's my story. It took me three Fucking weeks. I want to thank Scott. Dan. Oh, he listens to the podcast religiously He's in some fucking country in Bangkok because when Doug Stanhope It was Doug Stanhope

Carlos Mancia and Somebody else who vouched me, but it was primarily Stanhope who vouched me When Stanhope vouched me, I was at Stan hopes. I was staying on his bunk beds and The guy called Stan or I Can't think of his name. I just said his fucking name. It's got a Scott day called Stan open said tell Diaz gonna be six weeks six weeks to six month waiting list Holy shit, do you remember the fucking laugh factory? Do you ever call in the laugh factory and go and hide it's January 7th? This is Joey Diaz like to come in and showcase that bitch told me October 24th

The first time I called this the laugh factory like I was here like a year and he kind of didn't know I did a Latino night But he didn't know for sure. I remember calling like in January and my showcase was October 24th We used to drive in from Vegas to do that open mic. It was so good where at the laugh factory You used to drive in from you and Scott Ross me Scott Ross and Keith Healy and Mark Hatchel used to drive in to do it Where is Joel in Lee? Where is Mimi Gonzalez, where is Mimi Gonzalez human Mimi? Yes Pretty lesbian Cuban half Jewish where there's so many people. I wonder where they asked I Bumped into Mimi Gonzalez. I was gonna try to fucking track it into Montreal one time

I talked to Bobby Slate and he goes if you get the Montreal, I'll throw you a five-minute stop spot at the comedy I'm the dirty show and I had my money This was before 9-11 and I made it all the way to Detroit and I get out of the airport. I go with a second I'm gonna go to Canada and walk around with that fucking guy. I hate at the store You know when you have spots at the store. There's always that one guy. That's not a regular. Yeah, what he works He's creepy. Yeah, I was like am I gonna be that fucking guy I'm not going to Montreal and you know walk around and wait for a five-minute guess. I can't do that to my friends I said fuck it and I just got a room

I told the cab driver take me to the cheapest room And he took me to the darkest neighborhood you ever seen your fucking life in Detroit And I had a rock coke rock with me because I was coming from Miami So I had a coke right I thought in my mind. I was the sneaking into that's how retarded I was triply I was a sneaker into Montreal And I went to Detroit. I was gonna try to take the bus over the border I was like fuck this and they checked into this fucking hotel We got to put a couch in front of it the door because I mean that yeah, but hey, I had 300 bucks and

This was 20 like Joey take your own chances HBO it was warm. Oh Whatever the fuck it was. It was yeah, it was warm. Whatever. I'll never forget that The second night there was a club down the corner called Coco's Comedy Club pure black club tremendous tremendous. I didn't know Detroit had another black club called old all jokes aside in 1995 There was two black clubs in the country that were hiring Latinos all jokes aside in Chicago and all jokes aside in Detroit I was doing joey's comedy club one time and and dearborn and like a galvone. I

Called all jokes aside. I was featuring at joey's. I'm like a galvo. Oh the pig that I am This is why I tell people to mind their business because I've learned these lessons Right, I tell people not to do this and you do it. I'm not telling you because I'm being a dick I'm telling you because this is the less. That's why you're supposed to experience. This is how you that's what you go through Right, I but I could save you the aggravation. Right, right because I wouldn't want experiences ever again So you're at one club getting paid Whatever you're getting paid $50 a set right 75 dollars is set to feature in those days and

Between the shows, you know, because you're a feature so you you're off stage and eight 30 The other show starts late 30 So you have to get in your car And drive to the and then be back for the 10 30 show the feature. Oh my god me being the pig that I am I called all jokes aside didn't know my way around Detroit You know, who knows nothing right? Why mind your business, right? You know this town now

Yeah, but the girl will tell you forget the fucking girl Forget the girl in the fucking eight to gps. I ain't going nowhere. Here's driving around Detroit So I'm driving around Detroit downtown. Detroit at seven to get out of your mind. No, no, no, no I had two comedy shows. I was straight as an arrow. I was showcasing at all jokes aside So why would you set up a fucking showcase if you're working at the other club unless The other club doesn't have a sunday night and your sunday's open Then you get a hotel room you stay at the condo and you showcase. That's what you do. I went against protocol

I got the showcase on the saturday night So I already ate a bag of Dixie Joey's So here I am driving around Detroit on nothing. I finally get there 20 the park, you know, yeah, because you ain't gonna drive around for two hours Right, you got a shirt on you didn't get out your showcase. You gotta look good So I had like valet a fucking car running and it was like 70s night It was like a black 70s retro night. Oh my god everybody was dynamite Everybody was cool like as soon as I walked in below

You know, like the nice jackets people dancing Then like let's get this comedy club started and they had the whole thing They had the dj and I mean it was a great little club And I don't know who I worked with. I don't can't even tell you all I know is I went up there And just made a fucking ass hold on. I'm like you're bombed With I bombed with an Arab on my back Okay, so take it take a fucking terrorist Put a bomb on them and then put them on my shoulders. That's how bad I fucking bombed

Because I was all fucked up. Yeah, because you were just running in you didn't get chance sat You didn't compose. You don't think about everybody wanted to talk to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was I living away then? Yeah, no, no, no, no I was still in colorado. I wasn't even in seattle yet. That's how green I was That's how fucking green I was I wasn't even featuring yet. She said hoping to prayer. That's all you had and I ran over there Ain't a bag of dicks and I remember walking out of there and nobody would make I come the worst And you always know when you know, you didn't do well at a black club. You don't get paid

No, there was not the one gonna pay me. They just stopped talking to me If I have a good set boom I get paid if I don't have a good set No, no, it was a show. There was no money involved at all. This is me. I'm in town. I'm a feature act I like the showcase because I know you have two clubs. Yeah, come on by brother. You know, okay I figure I go down there do 20 and they booked you. That's two weeks of work Who cares if it's a black club? I didn't give a fuck. I'm just looking the fucking I was running. I was running So I went in there and just ate a bag of dicks. I didn't even go up to the guy and said, I'll call you monday I know what time it was. Yeah, can't be that stupid

I drove back to joey's name another bag of dicks and that was the end of that night So many bags of dicks But now that's why you're the monster, dude Well, that's what people do not understand. That drives me crazy people think now and stand I do stand up for four years You do stand the oh, what are you crazy? All I need is a podcast and I can make it. No, you don't No, you don't because you're doing all the wrong things for the wrong fucking reasons I think you just miss out on the fun too. Like I mean the learning of all the all this stuff. I know in comedy now Was I wouldn't trade it for anything? No, the knowledge I've learned is is on

You have to do it Because if not this will come back to bite you in the ass later, dude when I followed brian holzman the other night I was like wow, dude I've gotten good like that That was a sign to me that I've done something because I've watched That guy annihilate rooms and bury people And I used to get so scared. There's a couple people that I know if I'm following

I got a gear up. You're one of them you and uh, what is their name lisa lampinelli are the two worst bombs I've ever had We're following you and uh lisa lampinelli one time to the point where I went in my car and I said What am I doing with my life? Why am I doing this? And So I learned from all these things, you know, and it's just like to be able to file brian holzman the other night Was two nights in a row and do really well. I was like, wow, that's growth, dude And that I had to go through so much to get to that moment I've had to eat bags of dicks forever

Because what's you know edgy comedy is in even though we got political correctness now edgy comedy is in now When I started it wasn't people wanted to be like seinfeld And I knew I wasn't seinfeld. I had to do my own thing which was like raw and real I was in vegas, you know, I'll tell you that's one thing I love about that scene is that they're really raw and they're real It's political correctness isn't doing very well in vega in the vegas comedy scene as far as I could tell So I mean I learned the hard way. I didn't play really play. I played a comedy club one week Before I went to montreal and I bombed there

because I just I tapped into something in my showcase and I I tapped in the showcase that I understand and I own now But I didn't know then and then they put me following kory holcomb at that time Was a 20 year veteran. I mean that guy's been doing comedy. I think he opened for jesus christ kory holcomb He's been doing it that long and he's a killer now. I could follow him no problem, but back then bag of dicks to Gotta remember something for the people listening We all bomb in life every day

because bombing basically is 70 percent mental Bombing is 70 to 80 percent mental and I just learned this Five years ago. How long have I been back at the store? Yeah, I think it's been like four or five years now four or five years. I've learned this so this didn't come to me at the 20 year mark Bombing is like anything else in your life that you go wrong. You lost in your mind before you showed up And how do I know because I was the king of bombing

bombing One you asked an interesting question before one of the one of the time I hadn't met. Okay, so joe's at the store And one day during crossing he said something to me and I said something back and we shook hands And I knew him as joe and he would call me joe and then one day He was we were both on the 405 How weird is that there used to be a club in orange county? That on wednesday nights it would get 400 people as a dinner theater When I first got here and they pay you 200 bucks on the third, but it was rough. It was it was white people in orange county

With white hair still rough still rough and it was a dinner theater So they went in there to get salmon and mashed potatoes or whatever the fuck it was And you had to go up there and they only like the headliner the emcee and the feature always bombed I'll never forget Being in bumper to bumper traffic and looking over to my left and it was joe rogan. He had a super at the time And he opened up his window and he goes where you had it Like i'm going to orange county to a fucking gig Whatever some place and he goes you're not going to be at the store now like a nah

And he goes you work another place that go. Yeah, and he was like wow like he didn't really understand and then One that i'm at the store on a friday night and i'm bobbing I'm dying to slow down at that time. I was going through a control issue I want to learn how to control the audience This is all that stupid white shit you bump into out here in your mind We just just stand up to shut your fucking mouth right don't think just shut your mouth This was the time in my life when I got into you have to take long pause pauses to control them

And I went up there on a friday night at the store dog and I bombed from the beginning It was just a long bomb and i'll never forget the 11 minute mark I said to myself Um, this is killing me and joe rogan yelled you're killing me And I knew it was his voice distinctly And I didn't know how to react to it Like when I get off stage, do I say something to this guy? I go, you know what he ain't lying

He ain't lying. I'm dying up here. I'm fucking this is a nightmare And I walked off and I saw the week later and I went up to him like hey man that night you said that you're right You know, I was like, bro, that was brutal That's something and after that I said to him What show are you on and he told me and he was like so courteous. He goes if you want come watch your taping Really I never I those days I used to go to our hobbies were to go to politically incorrect When I taped on wool shirt me stand out mitch headberg. We don't go down there. Oh was a bunch of us In those days they used to tape politically incorrect like 2 30 in the afternoon

So if you weren't doing anything kp. Anderson was the warm-up So you could call kp and go wow I'm coming down put me on the list and you go into the audience And then they would send you around a sheet of paper comics or people you want to see i'm politically incorrect And we knew that bill mar hated stanhope. Oh, why we would all put stanhope on there and send it in and shit This is just something you did to learn Like this is how cool it was then yeah You want to go see it's a show taping to learn like you have to go to a show taping

And I went to news radio and the first time I sat in the audience And joe came over like a gentleman and he's was everything okay And I go yeah, and he goes if captain creepy bothers you let me know captain creepy was the fucking Warm-up guy and in joe's mind joe didn't smoke pot then but in joe's mind the guy was a rapist So joe would actually fucking say it like When I first met joe, he did not smoke pot. I remember it was he was by the book He was anti-pot right he was anti-pot and he was by the fucking book

And I'll never forget him coming up to me and he had no matters Like he was very fucking like he would tell you he's boston right very very blunt And I'll never forget when he came up and he goes are you having a good time? Yeah, I got and I went to one of the show tapings, but he came up and he goes the guy was where lee is And he goes don't let captain creepy fuck with you and then latin that I go What are you calling captain creepy? And he goes that guy's definitely date rape people and if you looked at this guy He looked like a date raper like

You didn't want to judge but when he looked at the guy that you like this guy raped somebody He was so creepy like this guy was a professional warm-up guy that was just Like out there like you knew you know when he would flirt with women and he would try to get him up Like and he would disappear with some of them. So they were and you had andy dick on the set. Oh my god So handy dick come up to you and talk to you So the cut then I became friends with him and he would invite me to the show and they would put me on the floor And I'll never forget that they had a thing for people

And they had a box for mbc and they had shrimp cocktails prawns the size of my fucking gorilla hand I love those on the side of a thing like 200 shrimp And I walked in there and I just started eating shrimp And finally somebody went up to joe and said who's that scary guy In the mbc room eating shrimp and joe came over and they're like, oh my god He's scaring everybody here with your leather jacket because I had this big gorilla leather jacket But that's how we became friends from that. That's awesome from that thing and then

I was working in miami And he how'd you do in miami at that time? I used to do great and he called me And he goes, where are you and I'm in miami. He goes, fuck. I'll be there next week And I go I could stay And I stayed in the chris maguire open firm at the time I just exchanged calls with christian chris is wonderful. This is wonderful And I stayed in mc train And that's how I got to meet him more and more and more

And then over the years, you know at the store you just built these store bonds that you see you you know the bond of a comic When when we really love each other It's just one of the strong it's a gang like I got into this to be in a gang And I've never wanted to be in a gang about You know, I got into this to be in a gang. I was very disappointed With the joe rogan thing when I went down to the comic store and the people didn't back them

That's when I started losing faith In comics. I didn't like that that turned me off about comics. I don't feel that way anymore. It's a long time ago But I didn't like that situation because it felt like comics were for themselves So it made the wrong call on that one, right? That was that was a bad move We got a lot of bad moves and uh, you know, I'm happy that He's back there. I'm back there. Oh, it's changed the place. I didn't I didn't get thrown out I walked out of my own accord. I just knew that the government was changing I knew that I had already uh

I had been there for six years. No 97. It was 2007 I'd been there for 10 years If this was michigan, I would be out If this was illinois, I would be out if this was boston He had the club owner would go joey. You got to do something you're featuring You know There's nowhere to go or can you how much farther can you go? So that's why I left the store before joe got thrown out. I saw the writing on the wall

I saw the dickhead coming in with his new attitude his new regime And I was hearing little things and I said, you know what? I'm the type of guy that I I went up getting into a fight down there and hitting him on the head or something And I ended up going to jail. I'm just gonna stop going down there. It was a dark time I'm very thankful for it there, but it was a dark time and I'm glad that joe went back And that has been the resurgence of that place and now it's just this Cooking with gas. Yeah, you know, I look at you and I look at joe and I look at I look at a lot of people Sometimes you have to leave the store

You have to leave one of the most important things in life Is Making sure nobody has you to leave I don't ever want to be in a situation since I was a kid. I always knew when I had a walk out of parole I always knew when my mother was going to talk business. I always knew when men were talking business I was never said excuses I don't ever want you to tell me excuse me. I should pick it up by the body language And what's going on in the fucking room and the same applies to life

You have to know when it's time to walk away. Yeah and stick to your guns and walk away and take your chances And go that's it. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm gonna become a comic and for a year I'm gonna eat shit. I'm gonna drink ramen And live in my car, but this is what's gonna happen I can't that's the transition between quitting your day job and becoming a comic The first year is The hardest part you ever have in your life It's the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life. Right saying I'm not doing that no more

Yeah, cutting the umbilical cord. It's scary. It's a very scary thought one day. I'm looking at somebody and going I'm not doing this no more, bro I'm doing comedy And for 90 days you make 300 a month you better have those savings good And then the next 90 days you make 500 yeah three months Then you start making 800 and 900 and then you keep steady at that Because you get two weeks of work a month four 50 500, you know as a feature. Yeah, no plane ticket You know no plane ticket. This is 500 and the plane ticket's 230 in those days. You're clearing 270

But you're doing what you love. You're in a hotel room. You're eating You're doing drugs. You're getting your dick sucked It was a great time. You're not working. I loved it Once you decide that's the scariest all these moves of decision making moves But back to bombing bombing is like anything bombing is like that that field goal tonight That you saw unbelievable. Okay. He missed he missed the first one. Did you not miss the first one? I didn't I didn't get to watch the game But he he had a game where he had four times he hit the crossbar. Yeah, like he hit the crossbar tonight

If he hit it four times, it's stuck in his mind It's stuck in your mind, you know, like when you see a and I think that's what happened They went to kick and they called the timeout Whenever you see a team call a timeout it's to make you think When you have two free throws and you see a timeout being called it's to make you think It's to make you walk away to make you think about what you're gonna do to give you time To realize what you're doing. We do our best work when you're unconscious. You know what I'm saying, right if I you know I used to do all I used to work for a sports betting service and I noticed that my best days were Saturdays

The rest of the week I'd be sitting there like I should drew, you know, all my best days were Saturday Because I'd do my last line at six in the morning. So I was going in there working off basics Joey deez, you live the most interesting fucking life when you work off basics. You do perfect. It's like jujitsu Why am I gonna struggle with you if I know if I hold that thing right there? It's that specific time You're gonna go whether you're 300 pound to 30 pound You're gonna go because it's technique sometimes You ever get fucking high and go on stage you you get stoned to the gills. Yeah on stage

Part of the fucking reason you do good is because you're stoned. Oh, yeah Part of the reason you do well It's because you're high because you're not thinking about It's when you think about what you're about to do that things go bad for you Yeah, when you overanalyze it you get to the store I don't even when when they call you and they say grab a pen Tuesday 11 30 wednesday 12 45 I don't even ask who's in front of me. I don't want to know and I don't need to know it don't matter because it's my channel

Yeah, I made a decision that it's my channel It doesn't matter Now I'll follow anybody. It's a decision how I feel now It's a switch in your head. It's a switch And it takes years to switch it. It takes years. You'll lie to yourself and go I got this years It takes years to switch it It takes years to follow Whitney Cummings and get the stink of Whitney Cummings off the stage not that she's stinky The the aromas right to follow

Joe Diaz and right right you learn how to follow paul mooney and get a stink off the stage Right because there's no host people don't realize everywhere else has a host which cleans it up And if someone crushes they do a little time So you forget about what just happened so the new guy gets a new clean slate You know or if the guy bombed the host goes up there tries to get the ball rolling a little bit more not the comedy store If someone just flamed throughout the room you have to follow that Frick ingram in the main room just crushed You have to go in there and and and just like figure it out

But if you're sitting there the last three minutes while he's crushing And you're thinking about it. You're gonna die. Yeah, for sure. You're gonna die I'm dead on the inside do not go inside and say let's keep it going for tram triply Didn't he do great? Jesus Christ. Yeah, you're done Just go up there. Fuck sam trip If sam trippy destroys the room don't even mention sam's name Just go up down again. I keep it going one more time And stop at that. Don't even say sam's name

Keep it going one time and right from there. You gotta unleash a right fucking bomb A right overhead fucking bomb and another one and another one and another one and then Now you settle them and they got the composure. They're like this motherfucker. Yeah ain't fucking all right And now that's it. He went out and if the first one doesn't hit don't panic The second one doesn't right don't just stay in the pocket stay in the pocket stay I see young comics do that all the time open up your leg Like you're about to throw a fucking bomb and let and I always say that once I get in the pocket You're finished the store is all about being in the moment. That is the biggest thing

It is like it's not a monologue Okay, it's what is going on right now And that's what makes that room so insane And that's why comedy store comics are like no other Because it's just like there is a voodoo in that or That it takes a long time the master and once you do you can pretty much go anywhere And just do really well, you know, it's just like get out be in the moment Be in the moment. Don't overthink

Okay, and just believe in yourself right and that's for me is what has really made me a great comic from that or Is that I'm so in the moment? I'm not, you know, I don't care what the guy did before me I'm gonna do me and I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna stick to my guns and I know I have a million tricks That I could throw out there to sell this whole thing and it's just the blessing of doing it over time And you know, yeah, would I have loved them made it earlier? Or if I've even made it at all, but love to made it earlier. Yeah But you know what things worked out the way they worked out where they worked out and you have to accept I'm right where I need to be keep slinging fucking dick. This is what you're saying

Does not apply just to stand them. It applies to life These things you're saying the basics of life. Yeah, you know, and and I don't want people to think wow. Well, they're just talking about the county. So no, no, no I'm translating what the languages of comedy to life that you guys see you guys understand What that you're going through the same thing in your job I failed so much early That I don't take it personal anymore. No, and it's just like it's on to the next one I don't celebrate the big things too much

Because that too shall pass and I don't take personal the fails Dude, it's on to the next one. What is the next project? What is the next thing I'm working on? I don't worry about and I just celebrate whatever little things I have Because those are the beautiful things man If you know you want to be Vince Vaughn or you want to be you you'll drive yourself crazy trying to do that But if you're like, I'm gonna be the bad man, dude. I flunk first grade home boy My parents were looking for fucking receipts for store credit on me. You know, I was like out the gate. I failed And I just was like I I remember going I'm gonna I'm not gonna let this stop me

And I just kept working working working working, you know, I got I was fired from like 15 day jobs I couldn't keep a day job Who could because all I wanted to do is be a comic man All I want even before I knew what a comic was. That's what I wanted to be I just wanted to be it and I was determined to do whatever I could and the things I learned early like promoting, dude You like I I was in Vegas when there weren't there wasn't there's one open mic every other week They wouldn't hire us to do shows at the at the comedy clubs there. We had to make our own time

and for like 24 years 20 21 years now I've been basically producing shows and like now with the show the comedy juice of I mean Comedy chaos at the comedy store is just doing great. That's like a long A long journey to learn how to do that and to learn like to make money with With people instead of off people and treat people like gold, man

You know like those are things that I had to learn over time and this quick fix thing that everybody wants It's going to hurt you in the long run Because you're not going to make the mistakes when nobody is looking. That's the beauty of it when we're at the comedy store And there's 12 people in the or and no industries there. What a blessing that is to be able to bomb freely You know and now the thing is just fire You know, it's so crazy that this place that was just basically my Coken sex den is now like the mecca of comedy. It's always been but it's like really is now, you know

So it's sex then I love it I love it. No, no, I agree with listen, man I guess so drunk I walked 300 people in the main room at the comedy store. What did you say? I just was I mean I came out wasted What I tiffani haddish that shit, you know, I went I was wasted and the entire room just got up and left And she banned me for two days. Was she there? Oh, yeah Oh, yeah

Oh, she was amazing the first spot I ever got there. I found charles fleischer and I died I mean I died and I thought well, I'm done there and I got called next day from dunking She wanted to go up again and that's when I knew that place was different It was like You could fail there And I I don't think people appreciate a good fail And how important it is You know, it's it's the blessings. I tell people the more nose you get you're closer to a yes

Yeah, the more nose you get you're closer to a yellow and somebody says no because I'm One day away from winning the academy award It's just a fucking nod, you know, every time you hear it. No, no, I don't want you. Okay No, they don't think you're right for it. Okay. No, they think you're too fat. They think you're too dirty First of all, I gotta disagree one thing with you It's always this town has always tried to be A little pc side And that's where I failed in this town early on

that I didn't A joined to those rules and I wouldn't I wouldn't I still remember people coming to me and we really want you for this You need seven minutes clean and I just tell them no off the bat. I didn't even try There's times today. I feel bad about that that I should have tried you know, uh They they always wanted me for that stupid fucking show at night. What's the one that comes on NBC at night? Saturday night late late night every night it comes on the black dude

And he asked questions even after fucking the music guy then they asked questions and they always leech into your job Of comics on leech, you know, how many fucking times they came to see me at the store and they would go We need a clean set They really want you Like I knew early on I wasn't gonna be on let him in Leno or Conan enough Like I made that decision And even though Sinbad Always said to work clean because you could work universally and all that. I appreciate that

I do too, but I'm from the rich pride disciple. It's not me. I do not have any interest in working clean I do not want to work clean and the shit that comes out of my mouth Leno's it comes out of my mouth on the regular. Yeah, it flows like water and that's me too, dude And that's who I am. Yeah, that's who you have to and it's really hard to figure that out You have to challenge yourself against that Do I change my set? I saw 20,000 people that changed their set and you know what rip They're not here today

Yeah, because they all wanted to be Seinfeld or they want to be this guy The whole notion that if you try to work like Seinfeld, you could have the success of Seinfeld is ridiculous Seinfeld is where he is Just like Sebastian Mascalco is where he is because that is who they are That is really them That and that's why they shine Because they're authentic to that If I did that, I would not be authentic to me

And I am where I am and I'm doing what I'm doing, but Dude, I wouldn't be selling out for for nights at At mason's square garden if I decide to work like Sebastian Mascalco It works for him because that is him. You have to do you You know when you showcase in this town and people just you know, you're always like, oh, what are they looking for? They don't know what they're looking for Go up there and do your favorite shit because that's all you can hit. They don't really know. That's all you can control I've seen people bomb and get it. I've seen people crush and get told no

It doesn't matter Just on to the next one do what makes you happy because at the end of the day is the only thing you can control and that's just in life back to last week Because this was hysterical. I wake up one day last week and you're going off on Judd Aputo and that's all what this conversation is about

The conversation is about luis ck I'm gonna get this out there just uh He got me a job one time Have I ever eaten lunch at luis ck? No, I've ever hung out with him. No, I don't know him And that person all that I worked with him. He was a head writer on seduct the entertainers Sketch show on fox 15 years ago and I put him up at the store on a sunday night. He goes. I got a role for you

In a few days I'll call you and he called and I was respectful because of that the next you know He's one of the biggest fucking comics in the world and all these kids are telling you about louis louis louis six years ago and all of a sudden You find out that in montreal in 2001. He took his dick out On 2003. I don't know what year it was and now it's just this big thing something that he did 10 years earlier And now it comes out. I know that he jerked off on the phone. He did all this crazy stuff Whatever whatever whatever okay How long does it take before?

We forgive What kills me is That the same people that put him up there are the same people that took him down. You can't get retro You can't get uh You can't get a fucking offended retroactively You can't you guys literally Like I I don't know leo ck from anybody, you know, he's never done anything for me and I'm not that that means anything So I I've no I've no dog in the race conversation with him

I want for like a brief second, you know, like I try to when like famous comics go up I try to give them their space at the store, you know, I don't really try to go up Hey, how's it going? I like, you know, I'm sure they're just in their head Uh, never done anything for me, but I used to watch leo ck and I'm like, man He is allowed to say some amazing things and he was great at it. I'm not taking anything away great at it These people that allowed him to say all this stuff are now the ones acting like it is the end of the fucking world Thank you. Okay. I thought I was the only one that felt that way All these people are calling him out

Are all we're dying to work with him And my biggest problem with jut aptone. I know this isn't it. It's just like, why don't you go talk to a man? Like, why do you gotta blast this guy? I'm fucking twitter, man. You're like you used to work with this dude I mean like they all worked with this dude. They all wanted to be in the lewis ck business And he got he got pulled into this me too shit with some very dark motherfuckers Which I don't think he falls under now. He may be sexually deviant. Who am I to judge? I'm a sexual deviant. Okay But you all want to work with him and if you don't think he's paying a price right now Dude, he dude. He was the king

And now he can't go anywhere and nobody's shown and they're all being disrespectful Because it's all this virtual signaling going on and it's like all this bullshit. What happened last week Let's go to the starters. He was at governors and somebody taped the set Yeah, and they released this set when she did some jokes about uh, the parkland shootings and the uh transgender people And people went nuts and and and first of all they record and put it out. They should not do that That's not cool and everybody going nuts on him about hey, it's not funny to do this. Well, dude

He's not presenting it yet. It is a work in progress He's not putting it on a special right now. This is him working out bits and you know At the end of the day, dude, the crowd decides what's funny and what's not funny and they were all laughing He wasn't talking. Yeah, they were laughing man. They loved it. It's funny It's classical guy taped it instead of the TMZ. Yeah, that's how this whole thing started. Yeah And then you know and then all everybody comes out and they start lamb-blasting them It's like dude if you don't think he's paid a price. You don't think there's a punishment People like you should be in jail. He's never what is the punishment for louis? I don't know

What do you think is that? I mean, what is the punishment for louis? Who the fuck a way to decide? Yeah, anybody's punishment You know, he would live in glass houses cast the first fucking stone I know I've done some fucking sick shit, you know, whatever. It might not be in a sexual deviant way, but You know, how long Do we Push these people away This thing that happened with louis happened when 2003. Yeah 2003

And it blew up when in 2016. Yeah 13 years later You know, I don't know And then other people came out against louis. Yeah, and they you know, I he jerked off on the phone or something like that I mean, you could look at a lot of people. I mean, it's not just louis chris hardwick the same thing happened I mean like this guy gave so many people their first credits on at midnight And when this chick came out with this horseship stuff About him being a she didn't even say he did anything. He was just

She just said he was a bad boyfriend And dude this town crucified him But now he didn't lose shit. They didn't know they ended up bringing it back But dude, why does he gotta go through that? It just it just it's about heads on stakes and people trying to You just see some people trying to use it to get PR for themselves And that's gonna piss some people off saying but it won't understand believe this You know, there's some people like who like gave interviews about shit about this whole me too stuff

They were fully involved in trying to get the career going. Now am I saying that men in this town aren't animals? No, 100 percent. Okay. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've witnessed Men doing fucking crazy things. We've seen listen, man Not the harp on it. We've seen a lot of crazy things at the store. Yeah I've seen a lot as a comic I've seen things that are fucking repulsive I've seen women women in different cities Do things that are repulsive. I've heard of things

That this is the comedy game people come out of here And they don't know They do not know And it's just like there's fucking sharks in these waters And it's the last people you'd expect You know, there's sharks. What about that girl from the store? The one that was shaved she shaved Doug Stanhope's balls on stage in austin in 98 Oh, that's why Doug Stanhope was banned from

Austin because he shaved his balls up last night. Who was that and the girl moved to san diego great girl I love to the death real cute and her roommate was a gay guy that worked at the lawyer comedy store Oh, um, but this girl was a she grew up in a circus A father. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes circus. Yes. So she knew some magic or something She was not only a comic, but she was a magician. I used to go. I used to work with her in vegas She used to be a comic out in vegas and then she came up here to do a magic show for a pilot For mbc like uh, like a like some type of entertainment and this happened I

Gotta say 15 years ago Her and I were friends and she was cute And she was young and then she went to new york for a while And she started hanging at sows comedy hall when sows comedy hall got hot And she was like a door girl at sows and she would call me and say if you're ever in new yorker get your spotted sows Then she came back here And she started working the magic and she got into the Amy

And they put her in a hotel The magic hotel um magic castle magic castle and one of the guys raped her She had a press charges and leave it away and she had she ended up mad at me meeting a guy and getting married Night hole and the gay guy from the store is still her roommate night out He was in the house with them 15 years later. I mean there's been barracudas in this town. This is a disgusting time There are monsters for sure. You're a woman and You have to know You have to know you cannot be that that naive

This is what pisses me off. This is what makes me talk to my daughter every fucking day Today we're walking back from the park and she's dicking around like oh, yo You're gonna turn six in two days You gotta knock this shit off when you walk the streets. I need you paying attention mercy And she looked like what are you talking about? You see behind that bush Somebody could be fucking behind that bush. They don't understand, you know, right, right, right, right? That's why I'm showing narcos and shit like that. So she sees guns and shit like that So she don't get it right because in her world. She's a kid, you know, she's not from my world

I'm not mad enough for that But you have to fucking know where these people are coming from Nobody in this town Is that fucking nice? I was just talking to a girl at the store Like christmas and she said that she came out here Two years ago And then she was at the club But again

And she didn't have a place to live and some guy offered her a house The guest house and she could live there for free And he goes after two nights the guy would go out there naked and knock on the door. What'd you expect? What'd you expect right people right nice no rent right? He goes put the guy's wife lived right inside. That's what you're dealing with. Yeah, that's the animals you're dealing with She said that she couldn't believe That he could see You could see the wife sitting in the living room watching tv

And he'd be out there with his robe like Like like showing him like like his and she would say can you please close the room? He'll come on. Just let me in. I'm giving you a free rent. She said she had to end this week. She had to move Right. I don't even think I should be telling nobody rides for free dude. Nobody rides for free in this, you know And I'll ask grass ass nobody rides for free in this fucking time. It's crazy. It's hard on women for sure It's hard on everybody. Listen, bro. It's hard on everybody. Listen. They killed Marilyn Monroe with dick. Yeah Yeah, they dicked her Yeah, they ran trains on her. They ran trains on there. They were passing our their dp in her before that was a thing

Messages the kennedy's the magi all Sinatra She was the kennedy bike everybody's riding her it was and and you know over the years You've seen it. You you know, you've seen it. You've heard little things. You hear things Yeah, and you hear a lot of things you don't want to hear. I don't repeat them. I hear them I don't I don't repeat them, but I hear them, you know, uh the commie store is a very dark and sexual fucking Harvey esque

Type of place for a while. Everybody knows that, you know But We're here. We're quick. You know, I just love that you I read what you said to him and I have nothing against I listen man. I have nothing against jud apatow I don't like when people I'm just gonna say this and this is me talking I don't like when people Use public forums to shame their own

Jud apatow a long time ago went on stage At a um award show and uh, he destroyed jerry lewis just destroyed him Jerry lewis and made comments. They didn't think women were funny jerry lewis at the time I think was well into his 80s if not 90s, but I'm pretty sure 80s and jud apatow went on stage and fucking lit him up About being a male chauvinist pig and how you should respect female comedy And I thought man, why would you do that to a fucking legend?

And then like a week two weeks later girls comes out and you know, I just don't think that's What Comics should do to comics and I don't have anything against jud apatow But I just don't like that man You used to run with this guy. Dude, you play the club he plays Go talk to a man Say something to him He'd like dude, you're jud fucking apatow. You're an 800 pound gorilla, dude

You can show up to any comedy show and go up whenever the fuck you want You knew this guy man Go up and say something dude be like, hey man. Listen. I know I've been fucking going off on you until I I want police. Listen, dude. You gotta dress. That's the big thing. Everybody wants him to address it But they don't understand that this is a process. He isn't presenting it yet And maybe he's just trying to get the confidence to talk about to get back to where he was Well, he wrote right that he was a hack. Look what he's talking about What did he give a fuck with how can I and I get what you say

Go talk to there's a lot of comic beeps And I get what you're saying He was doing it out of Hollywood measures. Yeah virtual and virtue singling. He says what's called. Yeah You know, and it's kind of weird no way to do but I'm not mad at Louis. You know, I'm upset because he was a talented guy And I don't know. I just don't like

That all of a sudden we have this power To judge how long we could hold somebody down You do something wrong press fucking charges and go to jail You know what? I did something wrong and I did my time like a man I could have ran to nicaragua and Ran a Hertz car rental place. I was a Hertz trainee I could have done a thousand things at the end when they looked at me and I go, you know what? I'm gonna pay my debt because this is my debt for all the other things I did

Now I'll be karmically saved. I did my fucking time And I did my time if you want to call me a fucking kidnapper or I robbed somebody or a thief Be my guest. It doesn't hurt my feelings I did my time and I walked out of there a fucking man. I really did. I walked out of a man It was that last push to become a man. I understood my position in the world now I understood what I had to do to get somewhere Did I have the balls to even make that jump? I was uh, you know 20-something fucking years old when I got out 28 years old. Did I have the balls? It took me two years to get on stage

Two years you want to talk about procrastination and being a fan of just fear fear is a motherfucker fear dude But if you didn't press if nobody pressed charges on lua ck Formal charges in front of a judge or whatever then it's up to society or lua ck To make this right. I've had this discussion on here before that how long does a person have to Pay to society But I don't know you dicks. I am yeah, and you don't know me dick. I believe in second chances I don't even sure if that was I've had second third fourth and fifth chances, man

The the best way to see if he's learned a lesson is the you know, there's no saying give person enough rope They'll hang themselves, right? I love it. Let him see what he does Let's see if he's a if he's changed, man Now i'm gonna tell you something the the people not calling him out are uh, julia And and dana the two girls that happened to they haven't done any of this They haven't gone after them. They do that article They left out a lot of information that they had said that because it didn't fit the narrative that everybody wanted Okay, dana and julia had a wonderful career. Where are they?

They're just they they they had a uh animation on tv. They sell scripts. They're wonderful people. They're two super funny people They didn't ask for this. They didn't cause this. They didn't want that. They told me this story like 10 years before it blew up And all these people man They're a coma and like I don't want to get names because it's your show But there are people who made hundreds of thousands of dollars off loose ck right now That are fucking annihilating him

You knew what he was you knew who he was And you took the cash in prizes You knew who he was and how do I know that because I knew who he was and I was just a late night dick joke comic at the comedy store Okay, you knew who he was and what he was doing and you took the cash and prizes You can't retroactively fucking be like oh, he's a bad guy You knew who there are people who have careers right now because of lewis ck All right Now this whole thing that they're trying to lump him in with bill cosby and with fucking uh winestein. He's not that

Listen he jerked off in front of these girls Now he asked for permission from what I I understand and people can come he asked for permission right there He is not bill cosby okay Now people want to keep saying he raped people he didn't rape people He jerked off in front of people that's not rape man And how do I know that because it happened to me dude? I was at the when I went to college 91 at unlv was at the book at the library went upstairs went down this one aisle this huge black guy

Just fucking slow stroke in it dude And I was like holy fuck and I walked and I ran back to my hotel I will tell you today. I did not get raped. Okay. It was fucking creepy. It wasn't fun to go through Really fucking sucked. Okay, so we're trying to put him in with these fucking people that that's not him Now he's shutting door. Everybody's bringing it. It's just some weird fucking shit. Everybody wanted a fucking head on a steak That's what that me too movement and now it's gone. Where's the me too movement? Where is that? Oh well because everybody on the left was getting taken out. That's why it fucking stopped They're taking out their own fucking people. Where's the me too movement?

The uh, did the guys just learn to be respectful? No I know it's hard to be a female comic. There's also a lot of fucking perks to being a female comic. There's less of you Okay, social media if you're attractive you get more likes more followers all that shit Right, then that helps for getting booked down the road that helps in this day and age of getting agents. There are perks Comedy's fucking hard, man It's hard for everybody. Some people think they just don't walk right to their dreams. It's because they're being held back by group It's not like that, man It's a hard business if it was easy everybody would be doing it and now it seems like everybody is doing stand up

You know, but it's it's just like dude. I don't know what this guy has to do To fucking be given a second chance You know, he helped a lot of people and I know he was a sexual deviant You know, yeah, we're not no comics comedy is how much money you make off your mental illness. Okay That's what it is the more mentally ill the better the comic you are He deserves a second chance And if you don't think having everything stolen taken away from you not stolen taken away from you The way he has we went from the king of the hill to public enemy number one

It's a fucking A punishment and at least two girls never call the cops never sued him or anything like that. There's been no See, I didn't know all this stuff little by little. It's like I knew but I didn't want to know They didn't I heard that Listen, how long was the Cosby show on for? Let's take that for example They all knew that too I got a lot of heat I got a lot of shit a couple weeks ago for saying something on the broken box

But I'm not lying to you. It's it's the truth. I know eight years for that one and then there was another one after it wasn't there All right, so let's go to Cosby's for eight years You know all these rapes a lot of the rapes they talk about the trailers They talk about they went to the trailer and he raped him Lee You're no fucking criminal You're a nice guy. You got jury duty tomorrow

Do you think if somebody was at NBC for eight years? And all those women that complain that they got raped in a fucking trailer You think NBC ever got a win to this? What do you think all those years just just stopped that A chick getting raped in the trailer waking up going I think they knew it Well didn't it come out like that people were bringing bringing people to him or if it wasn't him Maybe it was Weinstein the stories kind of get mixed up weren't agents bringing people to

Weinstein, I think Weinstein Yeah, I just I'm just focused on NBC I mean, you don't think NBC knew It was the biggest show on tv the biggest show on tv this guy, you know I have to look into this before I could talk. I don't have the time I don't have the time to look into how many chicks he raped on a set Or how many of them said they got abused by him on a set. I know there was a lot of fucking women guys There was a lot of women involved in the Cosby case

And where there's smoke there's definitely fire for sure dude. Okay now They threw Cosby in jail Now let's talk about Harvey Weinstein One thing Harvey Weinstein got is deep pockets And like that's not a Rogan podcast and a lot of people got upset with me. He's got Benjamin Bradman Benjamin Bradman's a fucking savage, but guess what? When they set a child date that all changes when they were set a trial date that all changes and

He fires Benjamin Bradman Oh, no, he won't fire Benjamin Bradman. He'd be stupid to fire Benjamin Bradman He'd just add two women to counsel He's gonna get a minority And a white barracuda I'd like to say she could be Jewish But I don't think so. It's gonna be a white chick And an Asian chick or a black chick

And he's gonna have to hire a property he's gonna get the Verizon wireless commercial one of everything one of everything And he's gonna go in there like oj did And he's gonna get off with sexual misconduct He might do six months in county jail I'm telling you this right now. That's those are the hardest things to prove Especially if you get a woman asking questions in the trial Some chick that's a fucking bitch that had 20 abortions that don't give a fuck about don't give a fuck

She's aborted them themselves with a hangers. You got co-hangers still in the vagina She's got hangers. She like she don't give up. That's what Harvey's gonna hire one of those chicks That's on the quality's bitches out the best money to break it down for me. When did he rape you? Listen, I have a daughter. I was raised by a single mom. I love women, you know This is the realities of life. These are the realities of this country. We already got a pigeon We already got Cosby We set our mark with Cosby. Okay, we gave Cosby what 20 years life What did he get? I thought it was only a couple years, but he's so old. Yeah, he's gonna die in fucking prison

He can't see he's already getting fucking meats thrown at him. Is he yeah, he did a joke somebody threw meat at him three to ten three to ten he'll get three Because of his old age, but three is really a year and a half before he comes back for reconsideration And they pay a ton of money. I think he just went in there with the wrong representation In the wrong attitude if if you go in there for a rape case, you gotta show me three women Especially if you got deep pockets like that now Pointed water beach and that's exactly what Harvey's gonna do. Benji. You could see it already You could see what Benjamin Brafman asked for it's a setup

He asked for a dismissal of all charges You gotta be crazy But he's already asking because he's letting them know listen I'm gonna spare you a lot of drama and all these chicks all these chicks gotta come in And all these attorneys are gonna fry them and guess what they're gonna hire prosecutors And they're gonna want to list every guy you slept with in the last 10 fucking years And they're gonna go talk to those guys and that's a lengthy process. This is a process

And the lady that lady that holds the scales that bitch got a blindfold on Sandra Bullock and that's why right that bitch got a blindfold on so Like I feel bad. I have a daughter all I could do is educate her and prepare for barracudas Right like that. That's all you could do when you have a kid right prepare them For the evils of the fucking world and the best way that you can, you know I'm happy that you said something and I'm happy that well, you know, I again Judd I just at the end of day were comedians dude And we should like when you start telling people that these are jokes we shouldn't do

And you're that big you are affecting people like me Where I'm not like the biggest comic in the world You know, I'm I'm blessed if any clubs let me play. I mean, I'm playing I'm working I'm working more than I ever have but I'm blessed if anybody lets me play Right, but you empower the meek. They see you saying oh, this is you can't do these jokes So now they go to comedy clubs and they're gonna sit there and then they're gonna get offended because they don't like the joke And either they're gonna start yelling and screaming and disrupt the show Or they're gonna go complain to the manager because they just didn't like a joke because Judd Apatow said that's lazy blah blah blah

And that has real effect on that man, you know, it's like I get maybe that you didn't like the subject matter Or maybe you don't like Louis CK as a person But as a comedian you should fight tooth and nail to be able to say whatever you want As an art Even if you're not the edgy, I don't care if you're a prop comic I don't care if you're a tool a fucking A cruise comic you got a fight to be able to say whatever you want Because you never know what's going to piss the mob off

They went after Melissa via senior the nicest human being on the fucking planet They went after her when she was trying to get on senate life. I jumped in the mix on that. That's what I do I love fucking doing it because I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm so happy where I'm at I don't give a fuck about the industry. I don't give a shit about any of that stuff. I like So when they go after my friends, I like to go and like just go straight up whack-a-mole dog You know get in there and just start fucking jacking fools and they were trying to say she's a racist I'm like, she's the nicest person ever and she bangs black guys I mean like I don't know what is more not racist than the you know the bang a black guy

Okay, why are you going and like now she's killing it on the show, but they wanted her head on the stake You have to push back It's like dude. They are they're applying rules to comedy that they don't apply anywhere else I mean look at look at like murder murder is a giant entertainment thing my favorite murder wonderful podcast number two podcast That is making money and that is comedy off of death I don't get it and women love murder every commercial on fucking the first 48 is fucking tampas commercials because women love murder But yeah, you're telling me like I can't do joke. You're watching a murder podcast

That is having fun with somebody dying and it's a great podcast and they should do it What podcast is it's called my favorite murder? It's it's the number two podcast and itunes. It's a great show I'm not trying to say what is it about. They just basically break down. I guess like Every uh, I like they just talk about murder cases and people love that shit Women love murder because it's like the ultimate form of emotion Right, but it's like what's like if you hate entertainment that's mean that and if you belittle a situation

Uh, it could have real world ramifications. Then why do you go to horror films? Horror films people get murdered or slashed and killed In everything but you go there to be entertained. Why do you do that? murder is real Nobody's ever gone to a comedy show and went on a crime spree all right It just doesn't happen Lighten the fuck up just because you don't like a joke doesn't mean it's offensive

Move on and I do a bit right now if you get offended by jokes your life's going too easy. You got it too fucking easy I don't Even give a fuck. I don't give a fuck I really don't give a fuck. What jokes don't you want me to do? I'm doing jokes on them I don't even think about it. And you know, it's working, dude The pushback is happening the meek. It's these betas. It's all fucking betas Don't even get me started on fucking trust fun kids in hollywood. It's all beta bullshit. I'm not I don't I don't really give a fuck about audiences when I go up there

That's the only way you could be a successful company. You're offended good. You're alive. That's an emotion. That's an emotion Enjoy. So you come to one of my shows and you get upset You're never gonna because you wouldn't be listening to the podcast, but it's just Really crazy that I don't I after I shot the netflix special I made that decision on the plane ride back from vegas That was done Hard in the pain, dude. I'm done. I don't give a fuck. I've been doing it for 20. I earned my stripes

I'm saying whatever the fuck I want to say If you don't want to come to the show don't come to the show switch the channel I'm fine with that. I'm I'm a big boy. Yeah, I'm a big boy now. I'm fine with that Comedy is the only thing that everybody's supposed to like at music movies. I think for the first 10 years of my comedy career I used to get kind of jealous of you said you like sam trippley And one day I go, what do I give a fuck? What do I give a fuck? I mean, if you like a good comic, I'm in with you If you tell me you like galaga, trust me, I won't call you back

You won't get a call back from me ever, you know, like if you don't like a comic that I don't think it's funny I'm not goofing on galaga. You know, I love galaga fucking slicing tomatoes and shit. He had some great jokes Yeah, but no I'm just saying that My worry is when you're not a fan of comedy now When you don't know what can mean is I gotta ask yourself You know or You think a tv show is the funniest thing you've ever saw in your life like a scripted show at mbc I can't talk to you or any other network for that sense

You couldn't agree more like a pg show or something. I can't fucking agree with you It's just becoming its own weird kind of like Like mainstream entertainment is just becoming its own weird niche now And the internet has allowed us to go peer to peer And they get rid of this kind of suits that would determine what we would say And now people are getting the truth and they prefer it much. Yes, you'll always have people who love america's got talent You know, it is what it is. It's great. God bless them. Okay. It's not for me But the the more and more people are coming to what we like and they like dude

I was watching brian holsman last night again, and I was watching people Going crazy for him and I'm like, oh Comedy's starting to change They want the truth They they're tired of the winers and the crying and the and you know that guy in At columbia like duty is playing a giant room of people three people decided the end is set three For the whole room the whole room went up to him and apologized them after because three people felt That they had they had the power and they're meek motherfuckers

Okay, you don't like a joke. Fuck it move on. Okay Move the fuck on. There's another joke coming I got jokes for days on everything You'll get what you're coming for. Okay Did they get mad at him the same parkland joke specifically? Yeah, I used I I think that was more about how like this these kids are now parading all over the place and you know And they're trying to make uh, it's like that trust me that david hog

Is you're not punching down on that kid and I hate that punching down which is a white chick tour White chicks say hey check your white privilege and punching up they love it because they hear it's a but just a Sickness that's put out in the mainstream media and they hear it and they just regurgitated later And it's just ridiculous punching up or punching down. You don't know me You don't know anything You don't know who's up and who's fucking down Right go fuck yourself. You don't know where I've come from or how hard I had to fucking work to tell Check my white privilege. Dude. I've been pulled over fucking 20 times by the la pd, dude

What am I a bad driver? Is it racial profiling? I don't fucking know it sucks It sucks for everybody. Is there a race? Is there fucking? Institutional racism in the law. Yes, there is but dude, it sucks for everybody Stop with the fuck and it's it's white chicks, dude. They just love to go fucking nuts They just love they get offended on other people's behalf You know, it's like you do joke about midget They're like their cousin was a roommate with a midget in college and if they were here They'd be fucking offended

Right always always. I used to be an exclusive a chinese guy I open the show every on the road. I go uh before the show mean the other comics We pray the comedy gods Please help us make white women over 40 laugh because that's the number one democrat for wanting to talk to the management And I kind of like nip it right there Nip it And you see them just kind of walk off it with their you know k plus eight haircut that they got a supercuts You know

So what you don't like a joke who gives a flying fuck I don't like every song written by everybody. I've Of the bands I love there's some annoying songs. It doesn't matter. Do you tweet at them? And tell him I don't like your song either. No, what the fuck are you the fucking You don't like the song don't listen and then it seems listen to Led Zeppelin. What are you bothering me for? That's what I do. You don't hear me complain on this one. Yeah, the music today You know, I listen to Led Zeppelin. Yeah into the stones. I don't even know what the fuck is going on anymore I don't care. I have my own music. I have a fucking catalog of music

But I could dip into I go from the almond brothers to bar barati. I don't even need to I don't give a fuck I don't want with it. I don't know nothing. I don't know about the word woke. I just found that out this punch And I don't know nothing. You know why? Because I don't give a fuck. Yeah, that's a beautiful place to be not Giving a fuck now. I'm being the moment I care about that kid I care about doing a good job on stage And that's it. If you don't like my shit

What can I fucking tell you? Move the fuck on trips. You have any dates coming up? Yes. I next tuesday next tuesday It's the it's comedy chaos double feature Eight eight o'clock and 10 30 joe d is joe rogan. Uh, windy comings crisp Spencer myself eddie bravo at eight o'clock and then the 10 fifth out and joe rogan, of course and then the 10 30 show is uh Myself eddie bravo, uh, brandon schaub, uh, brian callan michael rapapour

And who else is on there? Oh theo vaughn. So that's it and then 19th. I'm in new jersey. I'm in morris plains new jersey I am doing the uh, i'm doing tiffs ale house and i'm super excited. I have some great openers coming out That is january 19th you can go to sam trippley.com to get those uh dates and then also my special Armageddon and zero fox are available on vimeo just put in sam trippley and you find them dude It's a dollar 99 to rent 299 to own

I know everybody's fighting for a dollar. So I made it cheap. I just want people to uh, you know To check it out. So the word is out the kids love it. It's you know Everybody said nice things about it. Thank you for being. I love you dude Thank you for being a hustler. Thank you for sticking this out It's been a long 20 fucking years, but we're still here. Oh every year. I'm like, hey, dude This is the year but finally if I got a little traction and who gives a fuck I'll be in it and the brea improv at the end of the month

From the 24th to the 26th get your tickets now It's a big place. It's gonna sell out and besides that. I love you motherfuckers. All right. I want to thank sam trippley again I want to thank the number one christ killer in the world And I want to thank uh, you guys for being the best fucking family and man to the fucking ass. All right. I want to thank sammy trips I want to thank the flying mother fucking jew, but most importantly I want to thank you guys and I also want to thank our sponsors. I want to help them out They help us out. Here's the deal. All right For hymns.com. You're like joey. What are you talking about? Listen?

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But most importantly, I want to thank you guys for listening. It's the beginning of the year guys This is it all fucking the gloves come back on and we're going to fucking fight. It's over Write your goals down focus and let's make 2019 the best year yet. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart Like I said, I'll be in prayer from the 24th to the 26th of january besides. I ain't doing dick I'm just doing the podcast and stand up around town. I love you guys. I'll see you Thursday morning Bright and early ready to fucking kick the world in the balls. By the way tonight. We're not closing with uh Tony Bennett I heard this song the other night when I was on date night with my wife And I can't believe it's such a brilliant song. I think it was written by

The same guy who wrote lady and lino richie did it. I just wanted to switch it up. It's not the wrong podcast You got the red podcast the church of what's happening now. See you motherfuckers Thursday morning Ready to rock stay black. I love you And uh, that's it. I have a great fucking week back That's it motherfuckers the holidays are over wash your pussy. It's time to get back to work. Kick that fucking mule Lee Hey Mornings just Oh

And I will out you once again You left You said you never needed I wonder If you So many words we didn't say To people Where did we go

Where'd we go You know I do Still Oh We made our mistakes along the way Somehow I know Deep in my heart

You needed me Cause I needed you so There's nothing We were too blind to see But then most I do Still