Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #662 - Onyx Muse

Episode Date: February 28, 2019

Onyx Muse, a former adult performer and current dancer, director, and cam girl performer/mentor, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Manscaped - Get 20% off your first order and a travel bag if you purchase “The Perfect Package” at manscaped.com and use the code CHURCH    ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   
Recorded live on 02/27/2019.
  

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Zip recruiter comm slash church kick this motherfucker mule Lee it's Thursday morning The 28th of February, that's it. It's fucking over It was Christmas two weeks ago It's already March 1st. You filthy motherfuckers. Here we go a little something for Ralphie Always got to be thinking about it. Oh Shit Rockin this motherfucker on a Thursday the last Thursday of the month We got my girl Domo aka

Onyx Muse We got the Christ killer and your uncle Joe is here motherfuckers Oh It's a beautiful day to be alive Fuckers What's up Thursday morning, you're like what the fuck where you've been on we I've been busy I've been busy making it fucking happen. All right We got a special guest in the house tonight my girl Domo. What's up?

Onyx links. She's in the entrepreneur in the adult business And she's gonna break down the future for you because I don't know dick about borno So I'm I got a little anxiety today plus she could be my daughter. So I feel kind of nervous the Christ killers in full effect. I'm an unofficial porn expert Unofficial but you've been watching it for fucking years. I've been doing it so long They used to have I was talking about it this morning. They used to have stories written before like when the internet was terrible I like I used to read stories. I used to steal a story. Yeah, they would write it out because it goes dial up in this Is in this episode Lena

Knocks on The upf's door. Oh, yeah, they had different they had different fetishes. They did all that and then I my dad had VHS tapes, but they were they were sort of amateur They were called something Debbie taunt And I used series it was a series of really creepy looking guy And these amateur girls, but I would find I would remember the time I would write down the time code

Of where the tape was and I watch it when they were when my parents were gone and then rewind it to where it was So I've been doing it since God, I probably like middle school. I would guess, you know, it's just The porn that I watched as a child that shocked me Was so fucking disturbing and then all those peep shows I went to like they were just It's not I was raised Catholic

So I thought it was going to be rose Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, I believe it. I got nothing against you I'm just saying that you you I was raised on this dream that You know when you made love Whatever you had this weird feeling and and also I see this chick that looks like she got run over by a fucking car twice And they got a second dick on a porno and she don't want to and the dick looked like he got vd He was the 70s that had pimples on it and it was And you know, you don't know as a kid and then I looked at in

Growing up in New York that had a Puerto Rican playboy That was just horrible It was called pica pica It was just horrible. It was a magazine with naked chicks, but their face is covered It's like chicks that would you know that somebody tried to douche them over or whatever And they took a polaroid and those days it was a polaroid So it was just dirty It was just dirty to a guy like me and as dirty as I am on stage and all that shit

It was kind of dirty and I just I Went to as a child that was desensitized The alcohol because my mother had a bar but I was desensitized to pornography because when I was like 16 A bar opened in my neighborhood And the chick would sit on a galliano bottle, you know the fucking galliano bottle

Galliano's in a sweet italian liqueur. See if you get a galliano bottle on there You're gonna take a look at this. Okay This chick in our neighborhood that was from the hood. I knew her brother. I grew up with her brother He came from an italian family. Oh boy Where he was one boy and five girls and one girl was hotter than the other brunettes italian looking real pretty like you This was a galliano bottle And her specialty was to sit on it. So it would be on the bar

She would pull it out of the bar and sit on the fucking thing all the way to the fucking label In 1979 and then on wednesdays. It was erotic banana night and you would pay You would pay Five dollars to get in and they gave you two frozen bananas and the girls would be dancing And then you pull out like a five and the girl would come from the little stage and she would walk on top of the bar Walk over to you peel the banana You gave it to her. She put the banana in her pussy

And she gave it back to you and you bit it and they didn't they give you a free shot at tequila Disgusting thing I saw Tomo you ready for the most disgusting thing I saw that just fucked up my central nervous system There was a guy sitting there like I went in there one night alone. My mother had died I was living with a family. I didn't want to go to that house yet, you know and deal with that pain So this bar was on the walk home. Listen, they didn't give a fuck how old you were dumber There was no idea You know, they just fucking let you there was nothing

And I walk in there one night alone and I'm sitting at the bar and I'm looking straight I'm giving the girl dollars and she's dancing. I mean she was this close. Yeah, it was a thinner bar And what it would be was would be an island with a stage The bartender would be there and on this side there would be the booze or the bartender would have to go around But the stage was here So if you were lucky enough to be at the bar She could come off from the stage And you could touch a pussy or grab a titties or whatever

So there's one night. I'm in there. There's like a fucking 60 year old guy next to me. I'm just clocking him Let's say 55 to 60 and he's sitting there. I did not say a word to the guy I'm sitting there drinking my fucking gin and tonic And I look over at the guy and the guy's got a fucking dollar in his mouth like a five in his mouth Without no communication the chick walked over squatted Put her pussy in her face took the final bill out. You could hear him eating a pussy And then she backed away Put her finger in her mouth and pulled out his teeth

And put him in her pussy and then put him back in his mouth. Let me tell you something Domo, let me tell you something. I just froze. I came Everything that could happen to you. Yeah Everything that could happen to you happened to me at that age like why sit my central nervous system went into shock jack. You know, I had sucked some titties I need nobody's pussy. Yeah, I think I fingered girls and shit But to put a man's teeth in your pussy. I'm gonna walk home depressed that night That just fucked my world up like I'm gonna need therapy somewhere along the line for this

So that was it and then I got desensitized Like that was it strip clubs weren't a big deal to me. There were just there was another one by my house the cave Or if you looked at the owner, you just wouldn't go in there He had to be 80 and he had a wig made out of like straw And it would barely fit And you could tell he made the girl sleeping him and all the girls had bullet wounds and Caesarean skull. Yeah, like they were missing a limb The pink color handoff. I mean this place was just disgusting

When you go in there, it's just reeked of dirty pussy like just The air of sweaty fucking dead pussy that died. They left in the corner to die like oh my god This sounds like the worst place in earth The worst place on earth This was the place that we went to This was the place we went to like 20 to two to get a drink Just to torment the owner We would go in there and spit on the floor and you know flick at it and then he would come over to us

Yeah, so we time to go fuck himself and then he threatened us with the cops and we'd leave We just go into the torture. But that was it after that. I didn't have a strip club in my life Till 1988 maybe Like I was your I was born. Yeah I never went to a strip club never watched the porn You know, I either jerked off to memory or got somebody to give me a stab but there was no porn or Nothing I've been huge. I look

I was yeah, I've watched porn for years. I'm a big fan But I've I just turned 30 30 a year ago and I still haven't been to a strip club. It kind of freaks me out. Why? Similar what he was saying how you you think it's supposed to be nice, but then I also And I'm sure you don't because you're making money, hopefully But I always felt like the girls but hate the guys who walked in there Like I felt the guys who walk in with no money I guess that's true. It just felt like I remember I went to school in Boston And there was one in Chinatown right next to my school. They would walk past

At like lunchtime during the day and they were open Like noon. I said, who comes here at noon lunchtime? I don't do the day shift When did you get involved in all this? I'm 29. I'm gonna be 30 now. You said you were doing like We'd stores and stuff before yeah I was a bartender had a couple weed spots and then I was a manager and then I was training girls to bud tend I was booking girls at night clubs dancing like for a hundred bucks, you know

but we loved it and um, and then I Performed at festivals and I kind of like reached my pittacle of that But it wasn't what kind of a forming a festival EDC so we wore Crazy like costumes and like leds and we were going on stage with the djs like in front of 200,000 people So once you do that, I mean it was it's like this invincible feeling, but um, there is an amazing dance director She was making these costumes being a really brisket and Kind of like futuristic and we got these great pictures when we were doing this is when my space and facebook just started coming

I mean it was before social media and stuff, but oh my god. It was the fucking awesome time like um, so I wanted To take that into I kind of fell into stripping and then I landed in the porn scene now when you stripped How old were you when you first walked into 24? Did you design your own outfits? Did you give it that? Oh, yeah, I took what I learned from go-go dancing, but I mean I had to learn the whole stripping etiquette how to dance. It's a different style dance and Learn how to walk in the hills and do pole and also hustle

but I loved it like it was You know, it's in vegas. It's 24 hours the club doesn't close and there's people coming every weekend. It's money here and it's It's fucking fun Explain that in vegas because I love vegas and I'm I used to gamble gamble But I so I never did it But there are guys on the strip who will give you a free limo to the club So a lot of the strip clubs they do that as a promotion like to get people there and I mean uber takes them taxis

but Friday, saturday, it's always popping. I mean I dance in spirit right now. So that's just my spot It's fun. You can have a drink. There's different VIP rooms. There's you know, you could dance It's still kind of fun atmosphere. There's like 200 strippers. Haddest girls. We had the prettiest girls And they fly in from all over. I see them here All I'm landing on sundae then landing on sundae Especially the first southwest flight Vegas is amazing. It's people from around the world

Around the world every fucking day and they go there to spend money They fucking hit the jackpot to go there to go to a strip called japanese dudes Asians Canadians Yeah, they just come in Australians, london people Fucking new yuo east coasters Wasn't my best met my best client. So now after how long were you stripping when you got to the adult business?

um, I was probably Dancing like about like four months and then I got into porn just due to some complications and had a lot of friends in but I I did it really smart I kind of went to my limits and um And I learned like a lot I got you know, I dealt with one problem and then I was like, whoa I saw how this going but I saw this cam world and I could have like stayed in Did my way for my own career to do avians

But I saw the camming world and I kind of went down because In that way I can help girls who aren't in the industry, you know girls that are go-go dancers cocktail waitress whatever Like camming is really like open to anybody Now when you say older women are doing it when you say you had your limits What were your limits important? No anal? um, I didn't want to um, I mean that was a big thing was no anal I wanted to make my own website

And I wanted to be a dom. I wanted to have um Have a fetish niche and they were just like, oh, you know what you're just You know, you you should just not dye your hair red and no more tattoos and I just went Dye my hair red got more tattoos and was like, no, fuck you like you guys work for me like um, this is what I'm portraying because I was like I wasn't dumb. I wasn't going in like I was some broken person Like I told my parents and everything but I there was a style I wanted to go and They would just always push me into things that I don't really want

So that forced you into the camp Yeah, then you said well it didn't force me and actually like I saw it and I was like, well, shit I already did this so I can do this but I can do it in control. I can go to my limits and do Like things that I want to do that are actually fun Now you have a Steady guy that you do the cams with or do you pick and choose different guys? No, no, I do mostly solo I mostly I perform with other girls. Um

If I I've You know thought about bringing guys on but more so if I bring guys on they're going to be like my slave bitches And I'm going to dominate them and I'm going to push it to towards that element. I'm pretty good on like Boy girl scenes like I don't need to do that anymore and you bring leon and beat the Yes Absolutely Those are my limits, I mean, I don't do We're gonna have to find somebody who does because we're gonna have to find

I think we should do a pay-per-view event at your studio. I'll film it Produce by you. Yeah, we're getting fought in the mouth We'll sell it we'll sell it on only fans I'm telling you we'll put some fucking Xanax in this shit We'll give us a baloney and cheese That we don't want to far for two days We'll blindfold you. We'll handcuff you. We'll make them sit down Let me ask you something on exterior if guys constantly talk about things

He has done nothing for seven years except talk about I think this is what he wants I think you are really I think you're scared to reveal what you want. I think the audience No, they don't no one brought this up. You brought it up. See this because You said you said you would like to watch you want to watch that? No, I don't want to watch You took a fire in the month. I feel bad for you, but I think you need to to break all the other things I'll eat an asshole. That's what he doesn't eat ass. I don't like he doesn't do so many things in the national Would you suck toes? I'd rather suck a toe than eat an asshole

All right We gotta see it first because he's gonna You're not into being like a full giver and really just making them feel so so sexy And how is looking at where the shit comes out make them feel so sexy Okay, you have to take your mind back because shit's not just always there. There's yes. It is always there No, actually when their mind is someone I don't take girls a little bit. They're all it's always there Well, I'm telling you from a girl. That's like me Well, there's some wonderful juices

No, there's not wonderful juices There's wonderful juices north, but that's You gotta close mine. I do I like very basic sex. I want I like regular stuff vanilla Yeah, sure I the last girl that I was with got me into like hair pulling and choking a little bit which is fun That's that's as much as I'll do like it the choking I actually kind of did like a little bit, but it's it is kind of scary

But uh, yeah that that I did like I don't I just the asshole is disgusting For to me. Um, it's understandable. I mean, thank you. I I can't eat guys ass either, but Yeah, that's But I'll find somebody who will Now did you ever eat some guys ass? No, never. See not even no, no Not on point. I don't do that. No, no, no not in the porno in my real life. No I made Okay, we ate some later. I'm a giver. We're halfway there. I suck some toes. There we go

I'm fine with toes. We don't make a thousand stores making the girl feel real good. See does it feel that good? It feels oh look if you don't suck some woman's toes and see her reactions, you're not living Yes, okay. That is a very like sacred Uh, like there's a lot of nerves in there. So it's really intoxicating. Okay Imagine sucking that mexican chick's toes But you want to know some pay for her pedicure so you know that it's all clean and yummy Hold on one second. I think we need to let fence feeds it in for a second

All those little friends toes climbing the fucking fence and you're right there to suck You got to move to mexico before trump goes to war. You know Suck our little mexican toes right as they're coming over the fence with that little jew dirt on them that goes The jewish diamond dealers have they always had that little mud on their fingers With a little bit of african blood mixed in there Is there a section for this on your site? Um, yeah, you know, there's different sites that um have a fan base for that But to see here like the girls that I've dated are like

So like I I I'm I am vanilla, but they're like extra vanilla I asked some girls like do you want me to eat your asshole and they're like, you're supposed to turn them out He had a girl that he dated for four years never came in a mount Because she didn't like it this half a fact No, you need to tell her you're gonna you're gonna take this fucking jew milk This is gonna make your skin glow. I hope so are you guys gonna split my bail or how's it gonna work? Palestinian right now begging for this yum-yum jew milk You know vanilla women they want to be fucking pinned down

So you know what you're gonna take that dick. Thank you. Jesus. He never fucked her in the morning And you tell her I like it so you need to be ready that doesn't seem like This is not allowed just take a panties off and eat that pussy and go You gotta get in her head He none of them none of these chicks come around the last one three bills I told to eat her ass. She had a big ass. I go put Vaseline on your cheeks and go in their head first Because it's tough to get in that ass. He wouldn't do it sometimes coconut coconut oil He got a pink slip again on friday because she wanted she wanted me to be her boyfriend

Which means aka eat my ass. Just tell her where she wants to hear Here we go The mexican lived on his house for a year didn't do nothing red free. He didn't come in the mouth He didn't come in her eyeball Got a twisted eye. He never fixed it. Nothing. He just kept buying chinese food in it They would walk together. They broke a zipline. Then he dated how you asked Boyfriend now is nerdy and then that's but he's pulling her hair. No, he's probably giving it to her He's got a finger in her asshole

Sniffing his finger that little taco ass. I feel like he gave you a scrimper before you came. I feel like you're not even a real person No, no Like every other woman that's been on the show and it's sad across from you. I told you you're a fucking mush I am a I'm very experienced and I've seen it all you gotta get out there. You're dirty The next time I A girl called him For a year a girl sent them pictures of a pussy her asshole with firecrackers in it The day I told him you gotta send them dirty pictures and the whole thing

Tell her she's a dirty fucking pussy. Nothing. I can't wait for you then on sunday She gave him an order. She told him to eat pineapples and berries. So his cum would be sweeter Yeah, so she gets swallowed No, but he went the routes and bought the pineapple. Yeah, you're not supposed to go blessing to orders You're supposed to wait for the land. Give her that shot of juice sperm and then she'll say Pineapple fuck no, who the fuck are you? I gotta eat a pineapple. I don't fucking know you. What are you don't hold? What are you do? You don't give them what they want you give them what you want

Yes telling you all right for the love of fucking christ seven years Put your cup down Yeah, the next time the next time you come I'll have a story for I'll try it You won't have he got his dick suck for the first time outside 30 years old first time even a boy scout gets his dick So yeah, actually that's true. You know, I didn't get my dick suck till it's 20 You know, you see you just got a blowjob for the chick weather. Yeah. Yeah, carriage is outside. Yeah Where my mom was here. Yeah This guy's living the life and he don't understand. He's dirty. He's only gonna be 30 once and I've been telling him

He won't eat much God The airplane that's about to take you on the magic carpet, right? Oh my god I'll fucking eat mushroom. I eat the fattest cap because I know I'm gonna see some shit This is what I'm talking about I've lived I do it all the psychiatrists after when tell me go fuck yourself. You ain't doing the 40 hours no more That's it 25. You don't need this fucking psychiatrist. You need to live a little This is it go to the strip club

We are great therapists. Which one should I go to an LA? Do you have one around in that round here? well, um These strip cubs are a little different, but I I used to dance to cheetahs and that's a great way It's like a bikini bar though. It's not all right cheetahs. This way bubbly hills. Uh, no, no, no That's what we went to for the show Hollywood. That's the one Like it's right on the shot. This is not happening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I want to go to a real one dance and cheetahs Oh, I used to dance there. Oh my god. I I used to push a lot of weed out there

I was like me and then my boss he would let me smoke weed with the guys out there So I would like I I could roll joints So I was selling the weed then I would roll the weed in the back and then I'll smoke with them They'll tell me about the problems and then they tip me and then they come back and I always like getting my coke in the daytime So I wouldn't have any problems at night. It's not that I wanted to snort my coke in the daytime It's that I wanted to have it ready to snort So when I got home, there was no misunderstandings being my jacket pocket I'd walk and take it snort it while I was taking his shit and then

make believe nothing happened One day called my dealer and he goes man, if you want it, I'm at a strip club And that was I lived in hollywood close to The one I lived on schrader. So do you have a jumbo? No, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I just heard the women there like dead. Yeah, is that true that dead? I mean no like yeah, like it's it's a different vibe. I won't go anywhere. I'm not gonna go I'll say it. I've heard jumbo's is in a really strip club. It's like it's a burlesque

It's like a burlesque shop And then cheetahs is it's more like, you know, that you get the dancers But then you can hang out that we have a full bar you could drink with them, but no clothes taken off But it's a cool spot. I wouldn't end it. I wouldn't end the daytime. I don't know about the clothes being taken off Because I went there so my dealer tells me you got to meet me at cheetahs I'm like where the fuck is cheetahs? He goes, you ever gonna walk a pucco is I go, I know he goes before that you're gonna hit cheetahs in those days We used to always go to al capulco and get all you could eat lunch

This is not the one by where you do the second more tavern. There's still water in silver lake Right And cheetahs is down on that block and I'll never forget I went into cheetahs one day I got my 60 dollars for the gram He's a black dude. He's sitting at the bar with three white chicks. He's personable and shit And he's talking to them like Do the whole thing. I do the exchange. I give him a hug. He's like stay for a drink. I'm feeling kind of creepy Fucking 12 15 in the fucking dark strip club like Dracula's house

I look to the corner who's getting a lap dance bobby league Like a motherfucker with titties in his face. He's got two fucking chinese fingers in their ass Even though he's korean. I don't know if they were doing crinky shit in there at that time It was kind of kinky for lunch the lunchtime crew At most clubs is supposed to be a little dirtier They bend the rules a little bit more in the daytime Because you have less customers and they want to make a little extra money So the daytime they bend the rules

You can leave your hand you are like cringing over here Yes, he is just imagining how much money i'm going to waste if i'm going to the strip club Not waste you're going to go home with a nice chunk of fucking silly putty Between your legs of sperm and when you try to walk it's going to block it You're going to go home with a life lesson for your little vanilla girls. I guess so I'm I but that's the thing I Like even before we have sex. I only I attract vanilla. I like I would like to attract a girl who wanted to get a friggy You have to make a freaking you submit you have to rip that bra and then tell him his 40 for the bra

Okay, rip those panties at least rip their panties that cost you a dollar dollar store panties Unless they say they're victorious. See I'm gonna give them a small 40 You know lick their monkey with the panties on them rip them off Savage eat the fucking panties Take them home. Are you the neat milkshakes panties? Rip them in half and just eat a piece of panties in front of them. They go crazy. What are you talking? Okay, I guess I'm wrong

You are fucking wrong Fuck them. So now after this the cam business now you've been opening up a studio. Yes So I have a webcam studio With a all the camp equipment on three different stations a photography room so I can Help shoot content for them. Um, and then I also have like a podcast room That I'm hoping to start for helping with the marketing Got some weed weed sponsors involved

And just basically give them a platform to promote and talk about you know, what they're doing their shows Bring porn stars on they talk about their features. They're also doing cam shows. I mean, it's The whole open road. So right now you still strip on the weekends Were you gonna go strip Friday night when I saw you? Um, no, well, see I just got my tattoo done So it was healing. So last week I had like the week off. So I was just camming Okay Yeah, but And then you cam five nights a week

Uh, yeah, I mean I try I try to do even more so but when I'm not camming I'm doing like snapchat premium content and making little videos Getting that ready to get sold. No, I'm not the fucking best judge of character, but You have it really much together for a girl. That's 29 Why are you so different at 29? Why have you kept it together? Um, I think why haven't you been shot yet? I think I had really good parents. I had a really good like, um, you know structure of family that just

You know taught me how to do it, but I also learned a lot from people and I just um I never tried to like, you know, my when I told my parents they're just like, you know, just don't Don't do drugs or get all crazy and and resort to that my Father has a you know, he has a dark past that I had to learn from when I was younger So I just always knew that that's not the path, but I just I want more I want to help my family I want to help my girlfriends. I want to you know, I just want to have a future. I'm getting 30 So it's like I want to have a career like

I'm I'm trying to build an empire, but I also want to help girls There's girls turning 18 going into porn and they don't know They don't know they don't know what's ahead of them and even if they want to do it That's fine But this is a great way to make money and be financially independent, but just got money coming from All different angles and it gives you a lot of freedom Tom can I tell you a story? Well, that was a you know, I was raised Catholic like you and you know how we're programmed to think and then

One day a switch goes off and we go crazy Like for you know for 18 years, you've never eaten somebody's pussy. You've never blown a guy And all of a sudden one morning you just switch when you just want to eat a pussy Stick a finger up a chick's ass. That's what happens with Catholicism, but You also have that inner thing that we're raised with so I always had that inner thing. Okay I At a young age being a Catholic you were taught that a fucking whore you had to throw a rock at her Okay, you know marie magdalene was stoned to death

You know, even though she wiped jesus' feet at this time of death and all that shit. So part of your belief Is a whore And I still remember going on The 12th avenue was a kid where they had you know, a thousand hookers outside and looking at them And always looking at them with a weird perspective but something happened my mother died And it made me go From being the person that I wanted to be to the person I didn't want to be I became a thief and I did drugs and

And when I was 19 I moved to aspen colorado And I always had this thing about uh, you know, just a fucking whore like you either a whore or a fucking woman in my house You know what I'm saying? But at that time I had lived three years on my own and I remember Living in aspen maybe six months and seeing how much money comes in there in the winter Like you got like my agent like he went skiing in aspen a few weeks ago And he goes it's amazing the price of the house is up there You know 4.6 million 13 million I go remember

That's one of their houses Well, you spend 13.6 million of the house. That's not your house in aspen. That's your other house These guys go to aspen without their wives And I used to watch this league as a young man at 19 I would sit at the bars Not like hang but I would watch these older guys and then I became a security guard At a hotel I would have to pick people up and drive them back. This is I was a little older than I was 21

And every night When I was driving back on the Dominique Dom One of the guys in the truck would say to me hey Where's the action? And I was 21 and I didn't know what to tell I didn't know what to tell but I swear to god If I picked three sets of guys up even guys with wives

As I was picking up their luggage after I checked them in The guy would come back out and go Where's the action? And I would go what kind of action you're looking for in drugs? And I would never in those days these are people that are coming and they could be the age So I always play the dummy the drugs But they would ask me why is the house playing so where can I get a woman? Everybody was looking for a woman

Everybody was looking for a woman and then I got to the point when It started giving me prices In snowmassville. I was I was doing this in snowmassville. It's not even aspen You know, I would see the guys in the hotel and they go come here. What'd you find now for me? Do you know any broads I could call? And I was an asshole guys. I didn't know nothing. I was like the worst Balmain in the world most balmain will call a hooker for you and shit. I didn't know nobody I never forget sitting there one day going

You know, let's be honest Let's stop being a fucking hypocrite If I was a 21 year old girl and I looked like you I would move to aspen in october Establish myself lightly. Well, I don't even think I don't know if there's a strip club. Can you look it up strip clubs in aspen? I don't know if there is any So you'd have to work very discreetly and then we'd look up and then look up Escorts in aspen

You'd have to work. It's really everywhere Listen, yeah But I made a decision. Well, there's actually an article it says forget vegas take the bachelor party to aspen There you go And I said to myself if i'm a woman if I was a woman right now my mom was dead And I had a body like that girl right there like you or a face like yours I would make a plan Oh, never mind 21 to 25

I'm going to go to aspen from november to march 15 Take all that foreign money All that texas oil money You know, you could you could call yourself 500 an hour Oh, yeah, and do three a night Times that times five three weeks a month We'll exclude the month that you have the fucking visitor three weeks a month

For four months you put that in the bank You go back to where you're from at the end of the winter resort and maybe dance in vanguards You gotta invest that money If you take that money for five years and then one day just disappear Change your p.o. Change your name disappear. Nobody knows your past I'm not talking about porn. I'm talking about Taking guys for their fucking dough. You know exactly what i'm talking about Like sharon stoneman casino. Oh, yeah, a guy comes into town

20 large four days. Actually, they don't have a strip club. No. No, there's nothing. There's there's only one thing on Even on yelp. This is the denver party strippers. Yeah, it's through denman. They have to fly through from denver So, I mean that's that's I would do it if I was a woman No responsibility and a 12 body. You're gonna fuck 20 guys. Anyway, they're gonna waste your time. Yeah, take you on dates Try to do dumb shit to you. What's the difference? You put your feelings aside and I know you're gonna enjoy it But you have a daughter I'm telling you that if a woman has a man without a plan It's not a man and a woman without a plan is not a man

If a woman says i'm giving myself four years To pull down two hundred and fifty thousand or three hundred thousand 200 of that cash 20 000 of that tax-free That they're giving you cash in a bedroom for two times because a pretty girl will ask that That's a thousand an hour Jesus Yeah, those guys are gonna take you for ten hours

How much do they cost now? I mean, obviously, I don't think you do it price is very Yeah, I mean something like that. No, I don't do it straight up But I mean you can even get paid to be a companion and go out for dinner and drinks I've gotten hit up on the script in Vegas. How much they charge the companions in Vegas? Oh, I mean It could be anything. It could be like 1500 3k 5k 10k

An hour nine hour. I mean it all depends on the girl and whatever But if you're smart and you know, you can really work it out I mean, it's very lucrative But um, you know, you just do you got to be in control You're not college educated you have a little bit of street knowledge You know, you know, you're gonna hold some intelligent conversations But then just you don't act like a train wreck. Like you don't get no no no drugs. No booze If you're a professional a fucking professional white girl, don't do drugs

Goes to the doctor every week checks her monkey out changes the oil. Yeah You know, let's uh, you know three four regulars think about just an LA alone. Look, I read that book when I moved here You'll never work in this town again about the hooker Who wrote a fucking book about you know, she was a celebrity hunker don henley This producer that actor and she just wrote seven chapters about seven to her johns And the money she was making and it's she said she used to go to don henley's house and he would have given like Five grand for two hours and she would bend over in front of a fireplace with three other girls And he would just sit there do a line of coke go over

Fuck her for two minutes and go sit back down and get up and fuck the other one for two minutes You just told me about a story about a guy a white guy. Oh, yeah, putting meth up people's asses. Oh, well, no, you're talking about Oh, you know, he's talking about the uh, the democratic donor who uh, you didn't hear about that Oh, this isn't this is he's going around finding finding homeless black guys that are gay And that he like he like his thing is he likes to shoot him up with meth And two two of them have died in like the past like a year It's it's in west hollywood. It's terrible that this is like that's the more Like that's that's the dark side of it

I was I thought you're talking about the guy who spent 200 000 on a cam model And then he killed his parents Because he took all their money Going to deal with sexuality, you know It makes people feel a type of way people creep beyond the street strip clubs sometimes No, no, trust me. I've seen it all. Oh, I'm tough. I'm like, there's no guy can walk in there and think he's gonna Trick me or tell me something new. I've heard it. I've you know, and it's cool, but

It's just it's just about having a good time. Anybody ever give you a counterfeit money? Um, no, they gave it like another girl counterfeit money, but never me I mean, and I'm pretty like hardcore on that, but no, never got that. You check all your hundreds. Hell, yeah Really? Gotta have a light like because like a little light that you can put on it. I mean Go to the bank and it What's your future? What do you see? Um, my future at 29 I would like to have a studio where I'm helping girls and I'm

You know really doing it, but my future is I want to put events together with this platform of all these girls Take them out of just camming. Um, you know avn I did it and we're camming live at the event But it's just a simple convention, but it really opens your eyes to like, okay, if I could do this at some Whatever convention I could do this at a party like I could throw the party and have live cam stations that people watch the girls Have the weed company girl smoking live like on there and it's just it's a party because these viewers That's what they want. They want a little party on the internet because they're married or they're kind of nerdy They can't even walk into a strip club. They're from all over the world. They you know, there's a lot of Possibilities with this and I want to I want to innovate this shit

Like what I've done at festivals is can totally be done here, but on a smaller scale And just bring all these hot sexy bad bitches to make money Everything's for sale. So the strip club business is still booming in Vegas. It's still booming It's not a it's not as good as it was You know years ago because there wasn't this instant gratification there wasn't it social media and and You know dating sites and apps where people can connect with hot girls You kind of that's what guys went to to meet the hot girls now

It's like guys come in there and it's like Oh, I don't want to you know, they try to play hard to get or their assholes But that's like cold for them to say that they like us and they want us to stick I said get the fuck out of here. It's supposed to be a gentleman's club. There ain't no gentleman in there But um, you know, there's 200 girls on the floor. So that's a lot of competition, but there's a lot of hot girls It's like, hey, why don't you even deal with the stress like come over here? Help you make money. It's easy like camping. You don't touch anybody. You don't have to be around anybody And you can really do whatever you want. Well possibilities are

You're not doing porn no more. I'm not doing porn no more. When did you quit porn? I quit porn I kind of had a fallout with my agency and It just wasn't working out and I was signed to like a three-year contract but I didn't get any work and there was a fight I could have um, you know Got a lawyer and kept going But I just saw the camping world and I was like, you know what like fuck doing this I want to be behind the camera. I want to help girls You know really learn no one's training girls and I could literally walk any girl

Doesn't matter if she's a porn star. I could walk her so you'll train in all aspects of all aspects I've learned the software. I've I've been testing it out myself. I can walk a girl through every hurdle She's gonna go through But I'm just like I'll speed them up get them camping with me but you can do fun shit like Every guy when you have more than most like one girl on cam it really attracts a lot of people but um Yeah, it's just have fun. It's like yo fuck being in these dirty ass strip clubs I mean, you know, you can go there and still hustle, but on the week you still like to hustle. Hell, yeah

You got regulars? Yes, I do. I have lots of people that come see me for years Really? Oh man. I'm just fun. I mean, but I just I try to make them the whole thing. They call me I mean, I'm I'm there and I'm just I stay consistent and stuff But sometimes I I'm spending a lot of time in my studio because I'm trying to transition and And stuff, but I still I still love it. It's still fun. It's it's a rush Listen, I was a thief I know the world. I know the world how it works

When I dated that girl for four years Even though we had disagreements about a lot of things After we broke up the truth of the matter is I always have to think about it because she got me here She was the one that said let's go to LA LA, you know, I had a deal with cbs. She's like this. Like this is a good move for you I'll go down there and strip or whatever the fuck But it was really weird that I learned the whole other world of the strip club like I learned

Like I thought you just went into a strip club Got a dance and you went home And then she was telling me no, no, no, no, you got to text these motherfuckers. Yeah And tell them i'm dancing tonight nine Bring two hundred dollars And you have 20 of them on rotation She was telling me stories that were They made me feel bad because

She was kind of She was doing something that I had done years earlier Which was to see people in a way like outside of the club Outside inside the club inside. Okay, you know, it was very deceitful. It was You know, how you doing, baby? I really care about you. What's going on? You talk to them. You saw their soft spot You saw the vulnerability and you attack them. You know what I'm saying?

So let's say you work Tuesdays Thursdays and Fridays days You have different guys that coming on those days They're expecting this You know, it's like my mom had a bar and she wouldn't let bartenders Tell the customers that they had boyfriends the first time I see your boyfriend at the bar you fight Yeah, I want them to have an image that they always have a chance of winning you over Once a guy finds out you got a boyfriend. There's no end. That's it. I'm not gonna get with her

Even though some guys are turned down by that. That's the other package You could say to them. I got a boyfriend. Win me over, bitch. Some some guys that drives them. I actually tell some guys I'm like, yo, I got a boyfriend. Boom. What does he do? I'm like, so I'm not gonna text you on the weekend. You want to see me? You come to this strip club and we do what we do then you go back to your life and then you just, you know And they're okay with that At least they could get some I've had guys would be like, can I be the side guy like the side side Side chick in a sense

Just like wow But it's the belief that yeah You and I are gonna get married and have kids And how the fuck run off into the sunset and you have to keep that dream alive And it takes them like nine weeks to realize That you're taking them for everything when you don't show up in denies for the ninth time Denies, you know what I'm saying? Like it's like this fucking especially when you have a traffic jam And you got one guy coming in when you're still dealing with another guy and then they're like wait, hold on

You know, I'm paying for full attention. I'm like, yo, but My eight o'clock's here. So it he showed up late. Yeah, but sometimes I mean, you know It's really funny, but you just keep going and and half of the time they always come back They try to act like it never happened and what we can bring but it's so ridiculous It really was but you play around you're like, oh, yeah, did I really hurt your feelings? If there's well, you want to know something you should be coming earlier with more money and then You know, I can cancel these suckers And it's weird because

They they just got a relationship It's all kinds of problems if you ain't paying me and you want to tell me about your problem. Hell, no If you pay me then, you know, I'll listen to you and and whatever, but it's just like Are you fucking serious? Like I'm I live a great life and I'm happy. I'm not pouring my problems onto you So it's like you want me do you want to bore you want to kill my sunshine with your Depression in a sense, you know, like say that for your girlfriend. Otherwise pay me some racks and Yo, I'll take your problems and we'll fucking have a great ass time. You won't even remember what you were whining about Let me answer this

You ever been dancing you see a guy that you look at and go I could fall in love with this guy Have you ever had that? I mean it's not like you might think it And then he you know, you see him you observe him with the other girls And then you observe him how he is with you But they always fucking shoot their own foot like they killed that moment and it you know, no They need to stay a customer You're very controlled you're very uh I've had to learn from a lot of mistakes. So now it's like drugs

Who me? Yeah. No, I mean I party but um, I'm very good at um doing it like I do it occasionally. I don't do it all the time. You look healthy When I when I hit you up this morning, you were awake at seven Yeah, I wake up really early. I try to you know, I've been programming myself to get off the the vagus funk Of like, you know strippers. We tend to like sleep in really late So I've been programming myself to like wake up early during the week while you were in LA. There's no stripper No, I don't dance in any clubs out here. Um, I can't that's my my place um, but otherwise like I do photo shoots or

You know, I link with people that do a lot of networking. I'm really involved in a lot of stuff. So like I at you know, I am trying to do camming but like I got a social life and you know I'm doing a lot of big things that I want to help girls and I'm really involved in the social media too. That's a really big Important thing to use when you have the family structure You look healthy. I mean you mentally sound What made you make the decision? Usually a girl comes in here. I haven't had we have not had a point

Anything else since the guy who owned the the bunny race. I don't know much about it So Why would I bring somebody? I don't know much about the porn world that we can like I don't know kitty cat Like two weeks ago I was at the comedy store and some girl came by me with big tits and she goes You were great tonight and some guy hit me in the chest and you know, that is that's fucking the amazing tammy She she kills rabbits with a pussy and some shit and I'm like, I don't know. I don't know nobody like come on You don't know so now I got to get in the car feeling like an old man

And feeling like I'm a fucking half a fact because I don't even watch one I don't know who's happening in the porn world no more You know, I know akia kira Because you guys told me about her and there's she does a podcast Yeah, red band. I know the chick that got beat up by fucking uh, christy mac christy mac I don't know her personally, but I know she is She is gorgeous. I look at her footage. She was fucking pretty impressive. That's terrible. That's a terrible incident I don't know the money behind it, but even just the guy who likes porn

I don't know Five or six years ago. I like I used to watch porn stars But now even on like the porn websites, I'll just go and look at amateur stuff And I was really into one of the campsites Uh for a for a while. I'm cheap. So I didn't I didn't pay for it. So that's why I stopped doing it um, I know I'm sorry but I don't you think don't you think more people now probably are into amateur than

porn stars Very much so and really camming is kind of taking over and there's a lot. I mean, they're making a lot of money But they have the flexibility to shoot their own content of like whatever they do and you own it. That's it. It's why you It's your hours. You're the boss no company anime porn You know do different you could get cakes and you could sit on it smash it with your ass like you could do Just about how about that? We got a check to put her ass in cake. You just said the man This motherfucker do anything to punch your birthday cake. I'll give him a few animals give like a half a cosby pill Put a bag over

Like the newscaster and then we'll tell him smell the cake and we'll let you go And we'll put a cake in our ass. I'm sitting here right here. You're playing. I don't give a fuck why he's here I can still pull it over you guys. I'm like round the rosy with the arm ball I'll still get it even though, you know, it's coming. I'll still get you Yeah, how many people would love it when you smell the cake? I don't care if they put the cake deeper in their ass When it blows like a cork in your face People would pay 10 99. You know what I don't want them at this point in my life. I don't even want 10 points Give it to the girl

Production deal right now. Let's set a date for pay-per-view. They get I want to guarantee two million No, who wants to see two million? No, no, no, there's no two million I don't want to get part of the face You need to collab with some other farts. Yeah, let's have the fart extravaganza the night of farts Let me tell you something evening of farts and you would headline Yeah, sure with a 400 pound black chick for sure for two million. I'll do it have this year the 10 pork chops Forget about it. You know the same with some cosmic dust in it And the fucking fart makes you pass out

Add a little blood in your face. Can you imagine? Oh, no that poster looks like and now the next time it's see this Who's on the undercard? We'll do a photo session. We'll bring Some eight by ten. No, you're saying first time like this is gonna be more. Oh, please you're gonna build it up You're gonna you gotta be consistent. You're gonna get that bad every month like a ufc card It's like a ufc card. Yeah, but they fight like twice a year at most So you do about six or seven and then the new year's eve card is the one where the fact she comes in They drop her off by a tow truck

You know what I'm saying that she's got cake in her ass. Do I get a blowjob at least? Not that you don't need a blowjob with the money with the money you're gonna make Pay-per-view new year's eve 1995 a piece you have no idea what we could do eight people are gonna buy it eight Shit eight people the first fucking minute. We put it on sale for pre-sale. What are you fucking nuts or what? She's got ideas. I got ideas I don't like your idea. I like creative You know splash you with paints

Yes, what's happening? I guess she farts throw blood at you She said paint whatever was that was uh blood. Let's go for the blood. You could do you could do Yeah, oh my god a foodie food food porn. Yeah Yeah, but I don't want farts as long as it's not farts All right, what about if we sit you down? Sure, and we just throw cute food at you when you handcuff and whip you and whip you. No, I don't want I don't like pain It's not Vloggers vloggers are really cool. What's your handcuff?

How do you know? Blindfold you. What do you mean? How do I know? You want to know I like it. I didn't like it. I'm like, uh, this is this guy How what percentage of people are into that stuff? It's a very small percentage and but they have a lot of money to spend Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, these are like doctors, lawyers very highly intelligent people who are into this into the camps into um fetish Um, but yes What do you mean by fetish fetish? It could be feet. It could be stockings. It could be latex outfits

um I've got it goes on. I mean there's nylon There's about a fetish for everything Smoking and exhaling. Um, that's a big fetish, um, uh, I do a lot of like small penis humiliation jerk-off instructions So the jerk-off instruction the guy comes to your house and you teach me So on cam he'll get a session and from what it is and you have to look at his dick

I so they can pay extra for me to open their cam to actually watch their dick um, and Basically, I just dressed hot as fuck and I just tell them how disgusting and pitiful their dicks are And then I teach them like oh, yeah, you can't even you don't even know your owner's manual Like let me show you how to do it and they kind of get turned on from that But yeah, it's great money No clothes getting taken off and it's really like it's it's a tone of your voice It's your body language

It's how you're looking at them and you got to be like hot as fuck that they're just like oh, I don't even care She's insulting me. This is hot It's a whole new world. Are you looking for a new model? All the time this guy right here my dungeon sets when it's ready. I'm gonna film a lot of I'll pay for the first shoot for you fetish content so we can do a little I don't like the pain stuff make your mother proud. We can make my mother proud. My mom would just own me So it's not you you're never left in the pain you get rewarded. What's the word pleasure?

So you get a bludger. That's what I'm asking. No. Well, look now You need to not say what you want and you just got to go with the flow. Let's see what happens. Yeah, this is not for I'm too. I'm too To the unexpected Too cheap who I don't want to get paid to get beat up. I'm sorry your own worst enemy You don't get paid to beat up It's all about consensuality. You never do anything. Yeah, I don't that's what I'm saying. This is not consensual for me I'm glad some people like it, but I don't want to get I don't want I don't want people

I think bad things about myself all right. I don't want someone to say that No, thank you Give me two edibles and make me think of all this stuff I don't know. Are you do you want someone to tell you your piece of shit like that? I already know it's it's mostly I mean, you may just not be that guy. I know that guy I'm into I would love I would totally be into other stuff like sexual stuff But like what like normal sex stuff like what's normal sex blow jobs regular sake

Maybe I mean, I'm no mcjag. Right. Look at yourself in the mirror. Would you want to suck it? Yes. No, nobody wants Nobody wants to suck it The eye didn't suck it Milk shake milkshake, dude, but you didn't put in her mouth like four Yeah, because I believe people when they say don't like I'm not gonna shove it in their mouth. I'll try it now We love In our mouths

I take people what they say if they if you tell me who the girl sitting here for fucking seven years That's who says we're not lying to you. Do you what fucking girl? The girls I've slept with no when you're eating that monkey you start fingering them Let me you walk around you pass that guard And you you when they're standing and they look at you with your dick with your three inches from their mouth Obviously, you're not there to check that temp You have to promote it Lee you just can't ask them You have to keep fingering them and put a pinky in their ass. I want to walk around

And sit on your fucking face for your nuts. Oh, Jesus. Okay, but then you gotta ask yourself Do I want my nuts in my mouth when I was 25? Yeah, I was a sexy savage now. I don't want my nuts in nobody's mouth It's disgusting Well, I don't know you're 30. Yeah. This is why I said to you. It's over the party's over. You gotta go through it now Okay, I'll try I'm down. I'll try. I'm gonna be a pleaser call milkshake tonight. Give her a second No, she wants me to be her boyfriend. I don't want to tell us what does he do? Tell her whatever you want to be like, you know, I thought about it. I want to be a boyfriend I'm gonna come down there. Shit out of her 20 58. I tell you coming down with

You know Let her let her go and then if she calls you look you got it Keep it pushing and then every time. What do you keep? What does that mean? Keep it pushing like go back to life and do what you do, but you're not committing Well, that's what you gotta get them craving your dick. Okay. Thank you. You're not craving. Thank you They ain't craving your dick. They're gonna go get dick from somebody else for a week his mom I go you gotta keep her on the string all day Tell you can't wait to suck her ass. Oh, yeah, tell you can't wait to let her pussy on fire. I can't say

You're like seven o'clock I don't mind saying that better be wearing those crotchless panties every time I get ready to face He's scared. He's scared of his own shadow. Tell him. You don't know what it's like humiliating here That we have a certain belief here at the church and he constantly breaks this. I constantly break Well, I if there's any woman out there, please if I'm wrong, tell me I'm wrong But this not every woman can can think this like because this is how This is how people are going to jail now like me too like this Okay, okay

That's different Where's the line? Okay, that you're on a date. I'll meet here pussy and I got two fingers in your mood I'm doing a luigi and I got a pink in your asshole after I got the pink in your asshole Anything goes so you walk around you continue fingering her. She's like moaning. Uh, uh, and you drop your dick in their mouth Okay, and then the girls that I've been with who I say who would do that and they're like, oh, I don't like when you come Of my mouth. How do I continue to do it? They're just coming in. You just come in their mouth. I like it. This is what you make me feel

All right, you need to get in their head. You need them to feel like you never came in that girl's mouth Yeah, because she says you didn't like it. Who gives a fuck what they don't like I guarantee in five years four years you were with her. I can count on one hand How many dicks up and she gave no, that's not true. I guarantee she didn't give you more than 10 Well, you're wrong. No guarantee. She gave you one blow job. What are you doing? Are you like licking her pussy? Yeah, I like that. Yeah Getting down on it. Oh, yeah, you like fucking her in like public places. I'm not public. I've never done it I've never done it, but I wouldn't be against that. I told you I got that in the car. That's as public as I've gotten

I Just pour the blood one of you to rip it she had glasses I told him how many times take the glasses off and throw them on the wall Then she can't see and then fuck that turns women on they can't see Oh, yeah, she thinks your bread pit you put a fucking rug on your head They don't know what the fuck and you know what I'm saying these are things you fucked up I've been telling you you fucked up. I told you this is day one. Don't move her in Tire up put firecrackers in her ass. She's got those

Fence feet. You didn't do none of these things. You want over there to watch purple? You're getting her outfits to wear so she can do nothing There you go. That's why she's not craving today. He never came home with handcuffs. He never you know what I did I'm not I know what you did. I know what you did nothing. You watch orange is the new purple I recall you that's what you do. He couldn't even watch narcos without it That's what you do in a relationship, you know, you don't do that in a relationship You watch it and then you tell her I didn't watch it. I waited Why would I do that because I have to watch it twice. You're a man

Yes, are you a man? Are you a bitch? I want so what being a man is watching a tv show being a man is something across the fucking board from a disease All right, we'll try it putting your balls on the table. I like my balls on the table. That's fine You don't put them on the table Okay, let's let's try it. I thought they're in your pain the athlete side on twitter. Let me know How can we find you? How can these young beautiful men find this beautiful red-headed queen on twitter at onyx muse xxx? Or my um instagram. Yeah, the camming all that um on instagram. I'm onyx muse 777 But uh, is that free those onyx muse on instagram? Yes. Yes. Yes. That's free. Those are all free

It'll tell you about my premium stuff and my cam shows. I usually promote a lot of um before I go on And um, and then I have my regular um instagram for just like my dancing stuff Domo monster 7 You're very interesting. I think you're very beautiful I'm sorry. I didn't know more about this world. Oh, it's all good. I didn't know that You know, I really wanted to come here and I wanted to be like, you know You need like a personal like blunt roller blunt

Roller the bull packer like somebody who's like I always see like nobody like got it ready like no I can't have nobody around man. You deserve that. It's like me sending you for coffee or something I can never have an assistant When people have an assistant. Oh, no, not like that. That's an embarrassing thing I wish I had money to hire a professional joint role like most people want a butler I would I want two things if I ever had that much money. I would get it A guy to have a rickshaw Just run around with me like this morning. I would have had him take me all the way

That's a gun down back on a rickshaw. I'm the four or five. That's always been my fantasy Some fucking guy just run and die. You don't have to get a new one every time. They'll die Don't even have to be hired But they got human trafficking don't they you bring them in from some other country you and Robert Kraft are gonna be in the same cell Right, why are they blaming? How is Robert Kraft? No, I just want to know why is he in trouble for human trafficking because they bring people in from china But what's he got to do with him? He just walked in to get his dick sucked the 80s

That's not allowed That's not allowed. How did he know she didn't have a passport because it doesn't matter that What matters is the prostitution But the reason why people get upset is because they're from like they're slaves who gives a fuck whether it's a A chick with a passport or a chick without a passport. It's a little blowjob Right, and that's the part that he got arrested for he didn't get arrested for the human trafficking Right, they're just saying that

Though those places are bad because of the human trafficking But he just got arrested like a normal prostitute where I'm going next week is the capital human trafficking with that Houston, Texas. Oh shit. Yeah That's where they have I saw I saw the tv show That was just because I never even really the only people in asian when I saw in houston You know, and I haven't been there in a long time I like when I used to go to anti-change dumpling palace Those are the only chinese people I knew and also i'm watching the show about like not drug zinc the other one they have

And gee whatever Yeah, they're talking about human trafficking and the fucking hub of it is houston Chinese girls and they suck it. They're crying They're missing fingers and shit the yakuza cuts that toes off and shit If you don't send money to the families, I mean, it's that's very yeah, that's terrible beyond I don't know what the fucking man. You're not taking you from your family in your country. No, I know that'd be Did you see this ices brine? Yeah That's the kiss of that. She had three fucking husbands and a fucking kid now you want to come over here with an ices kid

Why would you do that? Why would you do that? What type of filthy fucking animal are you that you're raising in the united states? They must give good dick No, no Do they eat hummus? That live in the weed I like hummus, but uh But it's I mean you have so much abilities as an american Woman, but she's craving an ices dick. Ah, yeah. Well, she she got the taste. They throw it down

It's not that good And muslin has to be great. No, she comes back with a little ices, baby. Well, no, they're not like they're not gonna let her in No, they're not letting her in. The kid's fucking rubbed down with gunpowder That kid's ready to go. He's a fourth of july fucking. He's a fly cracker. They don't know it That's terrible. I'm happy you came on and educated us today and educated our listeners. I'm so happy that I got invited and Pleasure meeting you there. Well, your manager was very nice and he was very sweet and he talked you up and then You hit me up that night and it was very nice to joint in the dollar bill when I opened up the dollar bill I hope this is not okay. Oh my god. I got I got like anxiety. I was like, oh my god

I thought it was cocaine. I'm like, I hope it's not cocaine No, I'm gonna have to give it to somebody or throw it away and when I saw it was a joint I just what happened was you had a whole joint, but you didn't seal it Yeah, so the weed fell out of it. Oh my god when you rolled it up, but just the thought somebody gave me a fucking ash pan Did you know Friday? I didn't smoke all day. Oh really? You know, I didn't smoke till maybe 1 30 that morning before we ordered room service I didn't smoke all day. Like I smoked a vapor. Do you ever smoke like before you do your shows? Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, I smoke all day

By eight o'clock the smoke don't even work no more. Yeah, I'll smoke a whole joint That's what he's saying. It's so weird that he didn't smoke for 18 hours. What I do is I smoke a pipe I smoke a bong here I smoke a pipe at the house and I smoke joints on the road to mix it up to keep my lungs confused Yeah, I never get used to one fucking thing. You know what I'm saying? You can't you got to mix it up a little bit So when I go on the road, I know I can't bring a pipe through airlines. I think she got to clean it What I want to travel with a fucking bong So I just roll joints and I really smoke a joint in the morning

I'm in my hotel room. So I don't smoke in the hotel room I go for a walk around the neighborhood and then when I go to the show If there's two shelves, I bring three joints If there's one show, I bring two joints joints are great joints are great and I know how to roll them I'm rolling for 40 fucking years I think my best performance is when I just smoke pot and go get giggly and I get stupid That's the best like the other night. Yeah, I like that shit. I was doing the edibles on stage. They just It's a 50 50 toss up

I like just smoking pot. That's how I found you like somebody told me about your show And I'm like, who's uncle Joey and then you were like Smoking a joint and we're like, you know, you ain't smoked it by two o'clock. Don't we fucking talk to me all about? Oh my god, who is that? No, I don't I don't You got to get high early in the morning to get it out of the way the last two mornings The other morning I got up at five Like for 30 by myself to be

I went to bed at 10 something And I got up before something and I put my head back down And I heard my daughter And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And I heard her again and finally I popped my head up and I look at the monitor that I go, Terry, what the fuck is going on? And Mercy had the lights on in her room reading a book Out loud

So we just all got her so her mother went in there like her mother was furious My wife got up put a fucking robe on and I can just see a tear ass in there And I heard Mercy turn the light off and go back to bed And then we laid down for like 10 minutes and you could still hear And my wife got up and I go, you know what I got up and went into Mercy's room I go, what's going on in these? He goes, nothing You want to go watch some tv? She goes, yeah, daddy, let's go My wife saw it. She's like, what the fuck are you guys doing out at five in the morning?

She's like, I can't sleep. I don't need a canine So we watched a little fucking tv and I took her to school and it was fucking tremendous And last this morning it happened again So my wife is pissed She's walking around the house like don't do this no more. She can't get into the habit of getting up at five And we just sit there. I drink coffee. She watches duck tails I ask a stupid fucking questions and she looks at me like not again What do you say? What's the cousin's name?

Oh, I torment her from every fucking direction. I have to toughen her up. So If that's great, she's gonna get eaten a lot. Yes. Yes You always have an open invite if you ever do any of your events or you want to do a cam thing Oh, yeah, you always have a lot of invites. You're very intelligent. You're beautiful. I like what you're doing And uh, I'm happy you came on today. Thank you Thank you very much for coming out. Thank you. I had a great time All right, I want to thank dom onyx. What is it on muse onyx muse. She's a very lovely lady I really enjoyed having her on

I want to thank my man the christ kill. I want to thank you guys do not forget Saturday and friday later already sold out in houston, texas. So you got two motherfucking options Thursday or fucking friday. So listen, that's all you got left. Don't tell me you didn't get tickets joey I didn't know if you don't know now, you know Saturday is sold out and friday fucking late is sold out Thursday is still available a couple tickets left and fucking friday is early. There's a ton of tickets left You guys must have a fucking rocket game or something like that going on Don't come to me crying fucking later, right? I'm letting you know right now, right?

All I got for you guys this month is houston The urvine improv houston improv. That's it. That's all I got go to improv.com Go to houston and then click on and get your tickets there. Don't hit me back and go They want 150 dollars for your tickets at stubble. Who the fuck told you to go to fucking stubble No, I tell you to go to improv.com Impressive houston, and they'll give you the fucking thing you get the tickets for nice and fucking cheap 28 fucking 50 25 on thursday night, all right So now you know now you know how you do it. But before I go the church is brought to you by zip recruiter

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And I want to thank you guys for being family. I'll see you next weekend. Tammy fucking winklow be there ukie spooky bobby sharon ain't coming, but he's coming to fucking dallas in san antonio We got the whole crew coming so i'll see you motherfuckers gonna use them texas next weekend Stay black uncle joey loves you kick this fucking muley The poetry in motion She turned a tender line to me She's dangerous in the ocean She's sweeter standing home on it

But she wanted me with science She blinded me with science With every fire that she had And When I'm dancing close to her Science I can smell the chemicals Science

Science Science Now the world's on a turning motion And when she turned her eyes to me She's dangerous in the ocean But she's sweeter standing home on it She blinded me with science She blinded me with science

With gravity open to her When she's passing next to me Science Science I can hear machinery Science It's poetry in motion Now she's making love to you

It's phase I make a motion The elements in harmony She blinded me with science She blinded me with science With gravity open to her Good heavens this shakabai jara You're beautiful Hey

I don't believe it Now she goes again She's tied it up I can't find anything Oh my tunes are rising Careful notes Deep right in motion With all my true emotion

When she turned her eyes to me She's deeper standing ocean And sweeter standing harmony Oh she blinded me with science She blinded me with science She blinded me with science