Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #664 - Nick Turturro

Episode Date: March 7, 2019

Nick Turturro, an actor seen in "Blue Bloods" and "Jungle Fever", joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   Robinhood App - an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETF's, options and cryptos - all commission free. Go to church.robinhood.com to get a free stock like Apple, Ford or Sprint.  

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We're gonna cover the Oscars flavor music the Yankees Here we go. Come on Kick this muley. Put the V up for this shit. Come on turn that motherfuckers. Let's go blow this motherfuck up Oh Shit down baby, you motherfuckers thought it was gonna be a whole day Take me back Joe this time today Oh

Let's go Was that the roller skating rink where you and your buddy disco, baby, did you ever roll a skate? Yeah, hot skates Limburg Long Island. No shit. Yep. Yep. I used to wear spandex pants No, you how old is coming out of my ass? How old are you? My father's like what the fuck? I was like 17 I couldn't I couldn't roll a skate for shit both the bitches. Yeah, that's what they had a girlfriend at 13 14 Yeah, the rollers. No, no younger. I only roll a skate like three times and that was it for me It was like a like a she was a chick that wanted to go on Sundays and I went with a couple times I'm gonna tell you if you could go backwards man. That was the ticket. I can go backwards

We used to hold lines or you did backwards and frontwards. Oh you push off, but I still remember the most I saw a guy fall off I saw a guy fall on his wig fall off People roll a skate home this week. He's trying to pull on his head Wait, you're saying people there was definitely you you were one of those people right now I was sitting on the side minding my own business. Yeah talking to like three guys like the way Just looking at the girls roll a skate Mm-hmm and also in this guy was dancing and shit and I couldn't even tell he had a rug up You got a rug on and also he went down and the rug came off and somebody roll this kid over the rug

He tried to grab it Oh Shit and then he went to put it on with the tape it was on backwards so the sideburns were coming down He looked like fucking the where was this new Jersey how to be like the part when we were kids We used to roll a skate. I like to say it was parameters I like to tell you it was parameters, but I don't know what a fuck it was. I like I said it was the sixth grade Yeah, seventh grade this place hot skates is still there in Long Island. I actually did a Kevin can wait an episode with Kevin James ironically a year ago and I did a scene

I was running a hot skate rink with Leah remini at hot skates I could not freakin believe it and the Scientologists are just chasing you. Yeah Whatever, but I mean it was funny I'm like I fucking used to go here with my girlfriend I grew up here at hot skates and here I am filming a scene 30 years later You know with Kevin and Leah and it's like I'm like weird. I'm I had this unbelievable right near Rockville Center Well, I went to high school St. Agnes Cathedral my old stomping grounds may Merrick Boulevard It was Merrick Boulevard some ways highway Long Island Limbrook Valley Stream Rockville Center

I lived in rose there Which was like right on the borderline of Queens and then Long Island started Nassau County fucking weird man couldn't believe it Couldn't believe it. I forgot about roller skating till I saw brethren did a bit about it and they took me back like I was in the original room and He was starting doing I'm like, oh shit. I forgot about that I went roller skating and the guy with the wig and it's cool, but there's something cool about it It's almost like the driving movie theater like imagine bringing that shit back Imagine somebody bringing the driving you remember the driving movie there was fucking wild

You put the radio in the window the whole family were going to station wagon and hide under a blanket It's fucking great. You know some of those things that was so you don't realize how special they were To when you look back and you go wow roller skating what movies did you see the driving? I still remember warriors No, yeah warriors. I saw five fingers of death Had a driving off a rotary and Clifton Wow Somebody recently Maybe about nine months ago on Facebook said Joey you ain't shit unless you remember this and it brought like sent me a

message Said tell me what you know about this or something like it like it. What do you know about this bitch, right? And I was like dog. I saw five fingers at that. I saw probably Four top-notch movies there that I cannot remember because they had to be something with shooting people Mm-hmm because my stepfather would take me there and we put the box in the window then after 45 minutes you had to Turn the car on because the windows would get fogged up right so 45 minutes you had to turn the car on I still remember that thing

You have any remembering a memory of how much the driving when we did it was like I was too little so I don't remember like Couldn't have been a lot, right? But they charge you by the head They charge you by like a lot of times they still like hide us under the blanket, right? They would you put us in the trunk. Yeah, they put us in a trunk or some shit I'll tell you what else I saw the driver movie grease grease grease I saw at that drive will move movie because that's the one we snuck a bunch of Puerto Ricans in the trunk In fact, I was one of them We went in three in it was like four for five hours

There's actually a scene in in Lord's of Flatbush, which is a really good underrated movie That's the loan there with Perry King. Oh my god. It's a scene with Perry King He's trying to get with Susan Blakely at the sunrise driving where we went as kids in Valley Stream It's that drive-in theater you watch that movie and you see he's trying he's getting on our pants and she likes Up in the Lord's of Flatbush good movie or fucking Rockies before rock I saw it in the movies. I saw that in the movie theater and I didn't know and that American graffiti That all I come in at the same time. It was an under underrated, right? Nobody nobody and he's stuck out still on stuck out the diamond scene when he goes

Yeah, when he goes in there and tells the guy I'm in right. Yeah, but you made the mistake, right? You know what I mean, right? He goes outside. He's like, did I do it? Did I do it? You know, right? Movie on that of why the Lord's of Flatbush. Yeah in 79. I don't know and the kids That remember the line in the movie was leave No, that's not a ripple. That's a good move. What was the name of that? No, no, no, that's not a rip-off movie I know lead the kid alone. That's a good movie. What was the name of the fucking I'll tell you in a second. I'm like No, it's a great movie. What the fuck what is wrong with my memory I

Sandler about Lord's of Flatbush and Adam loved that and he loved this movie, too That the one we're talking about leave the kid alone. Not porkies, but no, not pork It was a book and it's a good movie. It's all about those gangs in New York. Yes, the Chinese gang a time gang the black gang I had a buddy who was a nitwit the wanderers the wonder is Yeah, I'm the kind of guy. Yeah. Yeah, it was a fucking good movie. That's a great movie and the guy that made the film I I met him I auditioned from I figure his name is good film. I got oh Kauffman I believe Phil Kauffman and it's a good more always Ken wall man. He was good Ken wall He was a leading man. He was a wise guy and a bigger time guy leave the kid alone

Yeah, yeah, I think Ken wall was great in for the patch of the Bronx. Yeah, he was young Paul Paul Newman Danny yellow the Mexican chick for man on fire. Yeah, who never changed. She was the hot nurse at the fuck That's a good movie for you haven't seen for the patch of the Bronx guys. See these movies are wanderers. Lord's of Flatbush Oh my god, I just remember the whole different genre. Yeah of movies. He's all good water patchy the Bronx was Miguel Pinero's Miguel Pinero. There was a movie called short eyes. You ever seen short eyes short eyes Miguel Pinero Wrote that I think yes, and they're in prison and then they did a play about it with the narrow play Ralph Machio That was the guy

Ray Pavar who wrote that. Yes, and then he died of HIV HIV had he was a drug man John did a play called la puta vida, right and the Jinsky choked He was the Spanish plays and I saw John Laguzamo make his debut and the narrow did the other play Cuba and his teddy bear With Ralph Machio, right and I met that guy Ray Pavar and he was a he was an interesting Puerto Rican guy From the Lower East Side, I think you know and I'm great writer great writer and he died, you know, very young But man, I mean the guy could write there was a guy Michael Carmine who could act his ass off He also died. He was in that group I saw him come on stage and do a monologue my fucking shoes were blown off my feet

Blown off my son and my brother who is this guy who is that the public theater because John was great And then the Cohen brothers saw that and they got inspired That's why they wrote that guy in the in the the what he called the love. What's that fucking movie? We plays the Jesus in that movie the big Lebowski the big Lebowski Yeah, so that played he plays that Puerto Rican pedophile guy who was based on a Character he did and Ray Pavar's play That's what they would so that's where they got the idea of that character the Jesus that my brother did in the in the big Lebowski in the big Lebowski, that's right

So you go back short eyes and then that was Miguel Pinero and then Ray Pavar wrote these plays that That's the one played the narrow did he never did much many plays Then I saw John do these plays at the public and that was Ray Pavar and this other guy Michael Carmine great after me Great after me. Miguel Pinero pretty much wrote Miami Vice. I Mean there are guys that don't get the credit. No, you know, I know just didn't have the ideas, right? What's his name? Yeah, I know that even with about a friend of mine who had a lot to do it, you know Chaz commentary You know, he basically like wrote Mike star bow star, you know, these guys and this guy Frank Renzuli great writer

Kind of like helped him write or develop like, you know, there was a they were outraged when he got a deal and all this shit But they were they helped Chaz and all this shit and then, you know Chaz knocked them out or whatever, you know This there's always stories like that where guys didn't get there, you know They had a lot to do with it, but they wanted to lead guy and then they got shunned, you know So probably he was like that kind of guy remember watching was a double feature I think it was short eyes and something else it might have been a Scorsese movie and I just remember seeing that was a long time You saw that right? What's that short eyes a long? Yeah, probably hard to find they did a play Yeah, that was a play also probably when he got out of prison because he was a playwright too, right?

Yeah, that's like like like this other guy Ray Pavard They did a movie about Miguel Pinero, and it's what was that called who played him all that Benjamin Bratt Benjamin Bratt Nice guy tried it. How did he do he didn't? Is he deep enough to play him? I don't know Tried yes. No. Yeah unless you really knew him and knew that these were like hardcore Puerto Rican guys from like the 70s that With junkies right junkies and they financed their junk through doom with the fourth wall That's like yeah, they would put together a small theater, right put plays and then that's right problems

And they would set up these fucking things. There was always other like three of them were junksters Mm-hmm, but one of them would always at least show right, but they always had to go hunt the other one down You know with New York in the 70s that junk destroyed I saw that junk the guy that turned me on to Richard Pryor Was a Puerto Rican junkie, right? His younger brother took me to his house and he goes, bro, my brother's gonna come out of the room Don't be scared. I'm like, what are you talking about? I thought he was like a monster or something We're sitting there listening to the Beatles. I'll never forget that never forget that day

It's like in my head like he because they were so hardcore, right? hardcore yeah, that heroin Took those poor Puerto Rican kids in the Bronx off when I was a kid and my mother had the dry cleaner. I would see people nod Everywhere at New York City was the nod capital of the country. You're saying what's nodding? When people are falling asleep right in fucking funny it Wow, and they would fall asleep on the streets You know that scene went when American gangster When they're driving down the street and they show those zombies, right?

I still remember that that little window in New York Yeah, there was a little window and everybody went on methadone. They got worse for a while, right? But the this is 73 mm-hmm to 77 When those guys were running things they were really and they were brilliant. I provide Miguel Panero, they all had that genius in them that genius. Yeah, it's like a what's that movie bullets over Broadway with jazz commentary Yeah, he was brilliant in that movie because he was a gangster, right? But yet he was a poet and he was a poet. Yeah, he would he helped write the mm-hmm

He was giving the inspiration for it and you can't see a guy that's been a writer all his life Right and guys like this crazy are doing the same type of job because they have a voice and they lived it And if you could get that voice on the page, you know, that's that's like you can't you know You can't write that stuff. You can't find people even write his camera because they didn't they didn't experience it, you know So if you can bring that to the to the page forget it, you know, I mean It's just like your shit you do here in your humor if you try to get it on the page for a show You got to get that's why you got to be involved in it to get your voice there unless there's a guy that these guys are gone There's nobody around like that anymore that New York you're talking about

I was watching this thing recently on Jimmy Breslin and Pete Hamill About New York and the New York papers and it was fantastic when we grew up the news the post Jimmy Breslin was a star these guys were stars that were journalists, but they worked their way up from copy boy They were fucking didn't go to didn't even graduate high school, you know, and they became superstars But they were just reporters, but they had a voice they had a voice and they were real They were report, but they would also tell they would tell stories New York stories the paper The New York Daily News the New York Post it was it was great to get the pay now that business is gone It's going you should watch this documentary have a piece of to have a to get a daily news

And to have it on the arm. What a what a buttered roll But it roll with a fuck and a coffee with a coffee. I was in those days I was a coke and a can you understand what that is or you who I know we've talked about that, but that's genius That was your that was the top of your day. Lee, you know, you have you ever had a butter roll in New York? I don't think so. Okay one day when you go to New York open your eyes. You got a I'm not a kid But you gotta fucking have a butter right you gotta go to like a neighbor. Yeah Neighborhood deli that's not a deli and what kind of role is it because I've had a good Fresh roll roll gotta be fresh with the rules in New York. He knows a different and fucking you you can't get a butter roll out here

No fucking way you could get a butter roll out here. Okay. I'm so sorry. No, it's not your fault. I'm not managing You know, it's a different it was a different plan with you to have a newspaper on the arm To get on the subway and have the 30 minutes to fucking read The New York Post or a story about somebody who got arrested the Bronx or you know And then you look at what number came out and then you'd read the fucking sports section But I always knew I was always daily news guy because they gave me the right numbers me to post made their own lines Yeah, so that's why I never post was always a little more cheesy. Yeah post was cheesy I wasn't daily news time news has got like you see it now. Everybody got fired. It's like 10 pages

It's there's nobody there. So it's it's a shame. They want 250 for it at the airport. I shoplifted Every time I go back some blame you I take right now, you know I do the same thing. They have the New York Daily News right there by thing. They want 450 for it I know I pick it up. I know I pick it up fold it up put it under my arm and pay for the water Yeah, that's how good I am. No, I do the lady looks at me like where'd you get that pain? You justify it at the house. Yeah, the day I was shot with my wife and she tried to bust me for drinking something I said I just spent $70 at CVS. What do you want to fucking bust me my own wife? And she's like we didn't pay for that. So what I spent money there. I

Spend fucking money. So I figure I can justify drinking a fucking drink Are you walking while I'm walking around? I know I still remember that movie with your name into a made of sandwich I never did that. I never made a sandwich. I had a friend CC something What was the name of that movie? CC Ryder. I had a friend who used to the big guy never did that. That's right But bro, he made a sandwich in a movie fat guy after that would walk into a supermarket rip open ask of mine Co-cuts no and get a fresh thing of bread. Yeah, that was your goal in the mid 70s Right was to make a sandwich in the supermarket. You never did it. I was too scared. Yeah I was always scared. No, it was worse than shoplifting. I could shoplift. Yeah, I can shop with like a mother

Spanish train. I'm East Harlem train. I got better at it. I'm really good at shop. Yeah, but That should have making a sandwich petrified this shit out. Yeah I would put a pack of a 10 pack of gum down my pants to shop, right? If you think you're touching my dick if you think I'm one of michael jackson's nephews, you better step back I will fuck you up. This ain't never never land, bitch. Oh, man. I swear to god I just got stopped so many times and they would say we have to search you when I was 12 or When you were that young and I would tell them first off. Do you know what I'm with? You would say that. Yeah, you would say, you know, I'm with you like they were at 12 because the guy that I was with was a cop

So he wasn't really against so I go before you fucking call. You know what I'm with Calm mind and if carmine come down here. He's gonna throw a beat. He was known for their own beatings This cop was a cop on beatings And I hung out with his son shop, right? Shop, we just talked anybody into we could talk you into anything because we knew this guy So why do you only go for gum? We would do any of I mean At that time we would just shoplifting gunly we had the money to go to eat We would eat a normal sandwich and on the way back from union city

We'd stop and shop right and each of us would take a 10 pack a 10 pack a hubba bubba And then we'd go back to school chew it and then whip it at one another and the big fucking chunks I mean we were animals in the seventh I did three years at that school two years in the seventh grade and one year in the eighth grade Didn't stab me and those three years Because after I got thrown out of catholic school I went there and those three years were fucking tremendous even though I got left back And I was a half a moron about that with the butter roll you dip dip it in the coffee

No, that's Spanish it that's Spanish it's cubans like that's cuban like that cuban take the cake and bread with butter and dip in the coffee You didn't do that. Did you know you? Not much Yes, you did. I try yes, you did people do it. I don't like it I don't like it that much. That's one thing that always kill. I didn't like coffee as a kid Me neither now. I love never drank until I was uh can't function without it Didn't start drinking coffee till 2000. I made me shake as a 99. I used to have tea with lemon I was a real wimp

I couldn't drink or making me to shakes my dad used to have sank or an orange. No when I was a kid I drank of those cuban expressos and they twist me up really When I was a kid, I would go to Hernandez and fucking get two of those. Yeah What do you drink now that regular coffee whatever my wife uh nescafé the machine nescafé Whatever the fucking whatever. What do you have a couple of day in the morning? I have a cup of coffee in the morning one or two and then like an eight o'clock. This is my secret You get up early. Yeah, I get up at six But what I do is but if I have to do comedy right at about 8 30. I'll blast

of four Dang expresso. Oh, really? I'll make four expresso before you do comedy at 8 30 Let's say my spots at 10 15. Yeah night. I'm ready to bust. Yeah. I smoke some reefer I sprinkle some fucking malookia juice on it And I don't listen to the radio on the way to the store To really get me wired and sound like my fucking grips are hard as I'm going down lower okay And I'm ready. That's how you pump yourself up motherfucker. Yeah And I do okay. Well, I I ate a bag of dick Sunday night at the comedy store

But I did Saturday Thursday and Tuesday. You gotta eat a bag of dick from time to time. It's showing you you're growing You know, yeah, people don't realize that like when I left there I called Lee and I'm like, oh, I ate the biggest bag of dicks and for Lee being a year and a half comic He's like, oh my god, you know, and I'm like dog I feel bad and he was like happy about it. He was happy because you get it out of the way Yeah, that means you're not gonna bomb for a while now if I bomb again next week, right Then fuck I got it out of the way. You still bomb. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you still bomb. Yeah This last sunday. I know exactly what I did. Yeah, I threw how long you're on for how long this week 20 minutes

20 minutes. Yeah this sunday night when I bombed you talking about yeah 20 saturday I did 40 40 or an hour and you bombed. No, I did well. I did well I took my time. Right. I went to the setups Sunday I went down there and I show I wasn't supposed to be on It wasn't my where's this at the store at the comedy store? Yeah, it wasn't my type of show Right and was the audience wrong the audience is right. It was everything I did was wrong I went out there maybe a little too cocky And then I went out there without setting them up. You got to put a finger up there ass first

You got to size their back You got to rub their titties. You can't punch them in the pussy right off the junk on a sunday I forgot it was sunday really creates a different mind Right, that's why I never like sundays different energy month sundays are very different energies. I never liked Yeah, I realized as I was going up the hill and I got off the phone with lia go It's a cop out right but for me. It's a reality 27 years. I've been doing comedy for that long I've never liked doing comedy on sunday. I don't like it. So they don't like it. So when you say you bombed, I mean like The audience just didn't you know, they didn't take the full ride. They didn't take the ride. You know it, right?

I mean, I knew it from the second joke that Oh, this might not be a guy and I wasn't they run for me And did you did you and then I agitated them with racial jokes. Oh, you did Fucking eat my wife. So are you D out and all that shit to really push them? Just because I know I don't have you right. I might as well practically get a little angry and you did the no I didn't get it. I don't get angry about eating pussy and all that. Yeah, I flip it on them a little bit I get dirtier. Yeah, good finger up the something You're right. You know, I didn't work. Yeah. No now they really tightened up on me

Yeah, and then I tried to pull it out at that point now at the 10-minute month. Listen, you're getting your head punched Everybody bombs you have to bomb even bomb is an actor sometimes some days. You're just all percentages. Yeah, this is why You have but if you only bomb five or 10 percent of the time, that's good, right? This is why the Yankees were always so good all those years because Out of nine guys all I needed three to be hit in the ball, right every world series We won the world series. But yeah, but this guy went over 17 Look at what he did june july and august Right, he got into the world series right by august. He peated out a little bit. He's always 34

He's 32 But look who came through that white guy that nobody talked about in june. You hated him in june, right? You hated him. He struck out in the ninth inning. He left men on base But look look who went eight for nine in the world eight out of 12 in the world series If you don't correct me, right? If history corrects me because we were talking about all the world championships to red socks one of the uh When the red socks played the Cincinnati Reds 75 and 75. Yeah, you know who bailed them out the guy that had gone Oh and 17 Tony Perez

Tony Perez went 0 for 18 He hit the single that killed the red socks Like I don't know. I don't remember how they ended up, but he was a great hit. He was a great hit at Tony Perez But if you look at him in the world series, Cincinnati did the same thing Cincinnati played Uh, uh, what's that movie Brad Pitt made? Oh money ball money ball. They played money ball What again that world series and and the way this style Cincinnati red style was to irritate you the big red machine the big red machine style was if you watch a game now they had a class

Uh, a channel a couple of years ago called classic MLB, right? I don't know if it's still on and I remember like two times I was away on the road and I got stuck watching the games. Yeah, and I was mesmerized I was I didn't remember that strategy. I didn't know strategies when I was 10 Their strategy was who was their leadoff hitter? Joe Morgan Joe Morgan and what did he go away to do? Um, but a little bit And if he got on first that was your end

That was it. You know what his percentages were of getting on first six out of 10 So once he got on first, what else was Joe Morgan known to do? I was still basis There you go. So now we start torturing the pitcher. Yeah, but he was a complete player now We start swinging from the side remember he would swing his shoulders like he was on a fucking tree I can see why you're really uh connected with this then they then at the number two was like p rows p rows Yeah, that's a single. That's that's a guy on first. That's gonna steal second So you're already hitting the fucking glove with the ball And now p now you gotta face p rows. It's fucking 735. Oh my goodness

It's 735 in most fucking places and I gotta throw a p rose with your Morgan over here and he's gonna steal He's gonna steal the fucking base and then he'd steal morgan push them to third and and and rows would get a Thing and then who is number three Johnny bench? You can't get out of this rotation And they had like four thieves They had four thieves that were just torment you I watched the game where the whole rotation went twice Don gulla hit like a single. Yeah, like even don gulla the big the picture was hit the singles He's stealing bases

Like I remember one time when I watched him on that classic thing when they took the pitcher out You could tell the pitcher telling the coach like I'm done I'm done. I'm going back to the farm. I don't need this They had fucking two home runs. They stole 18 bases on one inning They would steal home plate just to fuck with your brother aggressive They were very aggressive Concepcion was a snake. Uh, uh, the kid's father. You had king raffy jim raffy senior You had eric forster who was the only george forster

Who was the only guy on the team beside ben says our geronimo says our geronimo This was a team that was a good team. And they were solid year. They drove you crazy. They were a great team They were great. They just they were banging on the door 72 70 They were banging on the playoff 73. I think they lost to the meds and then didn't they lose to oklahoma's when you They lost the 72 Yeah, they're first salbando Salbando, that was their first world series. That was a good team too. That was a good team gene tennis

With the fucking majority. They look like the they look like the village people. They all had mustaches. They're by the blue They had fucking ready jackson or campaneras They were a fucking great team bill north. They were dick green They were a fucking great team the oakland a's they were the swinging a's they actually won in 72 73 And 74 and then the reds the big red machine came of age 75 and 76 They swept the yankees in 76 big red machine like embarrass the yankees that year The yankees won the pennant then won a pennant in 12 years Chris jambles had a home run, but they swept the yankees out and they're good this year before 75

That's when they beat the reds and that red sock and a great seven game epic series It was great game six was the great game Where they fucking gave the tide to game bernie carbo Tied the game was an x red and he looked at he was getting overmatched He hits a three-run home on a tie it and then colton fist their fucking beloved red sock You know, he was great player colton fist man He hit one off the foul pole and then game seven they were winning like three nothing The red socks and then they came back perez hit a home run. I think all fucking

Yeah, there we go billy like you yeah, and then a little single. I think they won four to three That's how they beat you. Yeah How do you I remember shit about baseball? This is amazing that I could not remember anything about my whole life But if you ask me shit, you can I can put myself right there In this and right in the place watching the game watching the pitch. I know exact We're I exact facts of baseball to the t especially in the 70s and I can't remember a shit about my life But I could tell you who threw the pitch, you know, uh, you know, it's unbelievable

I don't believe how it sticks in my fucking head especially in the 70s It's so and you know, like I was watching that bucky den the bat against mike torrez It's just fantastic in 78 when he hit the home run But he fouled the ball off. He cracked his bat mickey rivers gives him a back. He goes. Hey homie. Hey homie Your bat is cracked Your bat is cracked in bucking bucky den didn't know and then they took a long time before they went and mike torrez never threw a Fucking warm-up pitch He never threw a warm-up pitch and then after the kid that gave him the bat

He was from my town rosedale serandria Handed the fucking town handed the bat to fucking Bucky den and bucky den hit the tree run home. I was in my friend's basement. Yankees were up three two They went up went up four two five two reggie hit a homer red socks came back five four and the ninth inning they had fucking First and third two outs were the goose throwing the fucking yas and yas popped it up Yas popped up the motherfucking ball. Did you watch the Mets growing up? Yeah, I watched George Theodore all of them tom siva kuzmin grody I because i'm from queen

So I knew the Mets first and some kids took me. I had a Puerto Rican friend He took me to the Bronx. I was shitting in my boots. I never went to the Bronx 73 that's how I went that's how I became a Yankee fan my friend Julius Pacheco Who's the fucking Puerto Rican kid took me to the Yankee stadium and I fell in love man I fell in love with bobby mercer and there I remember once I was like wow because people were like How the fuck were you a Yankee fan? You're fucking from queen's or from rosedale the Mets I know that's all I knew was the Mets when I was a kid, you know And then I the Yankees weren't very good then but the Mets were really probably more loved

They're probably more loved than the Yankees because you gotta remember New York was a national league city You know that you had two teams three teams back in the day the Giants the Dodgers those were national league teams The Yankees were always fucking hated the Dodgers were loved They were more loved than the Mets are basically like a fucking bastard child Of the Giants and the Dodgers like those fucking teams had an affair and they left town And then the fucking Mets were born if you look at the Mets colors They're all the fucking Dodger and giant colors the blue the orange and this song is hilarious meet the Mets Meet the Mets step right up and greet the bet

It cracks me up, you know she stayed him I remember when I had friends that would when I had friends that would bet the Mets And the game would start you was saying beat the Mets Come on down and fuck you beat the Mets when you were met big because you remember George Dandor mother was A fucking die-hard. She was a met fan and a red socks fan But the love of our life was Tom sever Tom sever In my book, maybe one of the greatest pitches Tom sever was the love of our life. She was in love with him

She wanted to make them when they trade them to Cincinnati. That was she was heartbroken. Yeah, she humiliated rusty stop Wow, she humiliated the bronze. They made us they made her sit on the other side On right field. He was a right fielder right fielder. Yeah, number four I think they made her sit on left field because she would throw chicken wings That really rusty rusty why she ain't rusty because he dropped the ball one night. She lost a bet god forbid So she never let rusty die like she fucking torment him She was alive. She would have gone to the cemetery and spilled his grave She would give you like the name of a place that she bumped into she was going to smack him in the face

She carried like a list and she knew exactly why they made me lose a thousand bucks or whatever She stole a bell from my church once And the last year one of the reasons why I got thrown out of catholic school I was great for two and a half years in catholic school catholic school. I was a firm catholic What was the name of catholic school sacred heart school for boys. It was uh, it was a uh Grammar school of grammar school eighth grade, but it was uh, what do you call that when you sleep there? Oh boarding school They beat the fuck it's funny a couple nights ago. I want I remember the story

I remember, you know People always go how the fuck do you remember these stories? Because I remember one and as I'm writing one right I'll remember another one right because one one trick is another I have questions to ask. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How come at this place? There was really no sexual molestation like I thought back Well, maybe there was but maybe you didn't know you know what a couple nights ago I go the one night that I talked to lia had a double espresso at like nine o'clock And I was off the fucking rails. I had like a four expressos

Really at like nine o'clock and I got home from the economy store I was more wide when I got home And I went online and I found the thread for a reddit reddit Uh-huh. Is that cool? Yeah reddit and there was people that had gone there before me the sacred heart school Sacred heart school. It was like a page for people from like I was there from 70 to 73

and this was a page for people who had been there from 1962 to 66 it was an orphanage. Oh And then it opened up as a school in carney, new jersey. They shot the sopranos on carney, new jersey in carney, new jersey The sopranos it was right up right up the street. Well, I shot analyze that we shot at two blocks from there I even asked the store West wilson avenue because the school was on 22 wilson avenue He goes wilson avenue was two blocks down. I thought that's why I remembered this road I remembered that they would pick me up shoot up and this was the road to route

Right, whatever 46 or is that where the bottom thing was over there? No, that's that's towards uh That's towards the Fort George Washington bridge. Oh, okay. This isn't this is 15 20 minutes away Suburbia, it's a street. I think the satrials was there And or maybe not I could be wrong. I know for sure the hardware store was chris multisanti It's his father-in-law right one day used was I think around there could be bail on i'm not sure But I went on the reddit page and most of the complaints I found 90 percent of them were the beatants that the kids took all beatants Yeah, because they would beat you there, right?

And then one kid didn't mention a nun that was there when I was there Sister Regina and the one that hit me sister hyacinth Were mentioned in that thread and everybody had the same thing to say about sister hyacinth. I hope she's burning in hell She fucking poked me in the eye one time, you know, blah blah blah blah blah I had done great at that school. You did great. They didn't like me because I didn't drink milk I didn't like milk. I didn't like the taste of it. I don't like milk. I don't like it So I would pour it over my head Milk, yeah, you know at the end you're not showing me a track. Yeah, the milk. I saw your little jails

Fucking, you know, uh tv dinner portion, right? How to be empty and then they would check your milk in your water You got to drink your milk and your glass of water. I would always drink the water Yeah, but leave I can only I'm gonna have to drink milk the way Only where he eats mushrooms and stuff. I hold your mouth. You know, I mean, that's how bad I fucking hate it Did you drink chocolate milk? Like a motherfucker. Yeah, or strawberry milk. I'm a strawberry quick Yeah, they didn't accept that they were like we right you have to drink back in those days. They believed, you know You had to drink milk. So you needed milk for your bones or some shit

She fucking drew beatings on me and then like the last year Like the last year I started getting a little old I was hanging on 140 issues and fucking You know where I lived was nice white kids When my godmother lived there were street kids, right? And their rules were a lot different from the rules on 88 street their rule these kids Live before the bedroom, you know, their rules are different, right? And I started listening to their rules a little more their rules made a little bit more sense to me And I would tell them they would they would go to you get hit, you know, everybody in the 70s knew you got hit in Catholic school

Right, like that was it was known. There was no yeah, you got hit And they would say next time they hit you block that shit and they would tell me stories about that cousin Your mom knocked out a nun in the Bronx And I'd be like what really you hit a fucking nun. Yeah, wow They fucking punched her in shit on my pro that really like you're gonna go to hell for that Yeah, that was why I started thinking about them like I started thinking like I was I was going there Bruce Lee came out You know and I remember one beat my god that wasn't pleasant and I remember going home not saying nothing to my mother

And just saying to myself the next time You know, I didn't talk to that nun like I never had contact. They have a paddle or something. They had a paddle too They had a paddle a pointer Yeah, or they would hit you with a pointer Then there was a guy there that had been in the orphanage And he would have a dog that would bite you Really like a little mutt dog that would grab your jeans and shit He would hit you with the stick if you think about it now then as a child

You don't know, you know It's amazing. They got away with this shit. But they got away with it because in the 70s if you went home and told your father That the guy on the block Lee kicked you. Yeah, he go, where'd he kick you for? There's got to be a reason why I call them a fucking Jew. Okay, there you go Well, then I'm gonna smack you because I didn't raise you to call people a fucking joke. Exactly So you couldn't go home and tell you they wouldn't back you up back. They wouldn't back you up back there Parents would go then you deserve to get fucking stuff if you fucked up. They'd say well, there's a reason why you must Not like today the parents would come to the kids defense or whatever

Even if the kid did wrong He would you know, oh, you know, you can't touch my kid no matter what he does But back then they you know, they could do that. They could do that. So But I went back on the thread and there was nothing for sexual assault But I remembered I told Lee I told the story on stage. I don't know if I told on stage I remembered about the kid I stuck up for when I got thrown on a catholic. There was a reason why I stuck up for him The reason why I stuck up for that kid was he was little on the weak side Him and his brother were twins

And they the one the guy I stuck up for was getting harassed by this big black kid This big black kid's name was Lazarito. He could have been Cuban or Puerto Rican or Dominican I don't know. We'll just say he was a black kid. Right because he was very very dark I remember him being very very dark, right And there were rumors going around that Lazarito was fucking people in the ass Really and on the playground that Lazarito would always ask people Yeah, we could do it all the time and show like that But I guess he found the weakness and Raphael

And the Bravo brothers and he started Like fucking I'll never forget that I was a couple beds from them, but their beds their heads were together Oh boy So he would earmark. Come on. I come on. Let's go in the bathroom. We get away with it And people said they could hear it and I was like, hey you fucking guys crazy No, I had never heard of that that age. I was 10. I didn't know anything about that world I knew about gay men

Right, but I didn't know that guys did it when they were in the fifth fucking race I had no fucking idea of this. Yeah, that's like and sure enough one night I got up to pee like three in the morning like I got up And the nuns room You know, you were sleeping a big dormitory And then none slept in the dormitory with you her room had a door and a wall But the ceiling was open Like that'd be so she could hear us

Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, and I'll never forget that. I don't know if I woke up to pee Or I don't know if I woke up from hearing Lazarito fucking that kid And I'll never forget like getting up But my slip is on and walking towards the bathroom. Did you really see it? Between you and me man, I mean, do you know for a fact that you saw? Between you between you and I I saw something You saw something I saw something almost sounds like that what it was. I don't know

What it was. I don't know what the I didn't know what that the sex positions where I was fucking 10 years old Yeah, yeah, I understand what I saw them over the urinals. Oh boy. Oh, okay, and he was doing something to his ass I don't know what he was doing. So I went back and laid down And I'll never forget that I talked to Like, you know, there was there was a couple kids from union city surprise you weren't traumatized But you didn't really see you don't have to be anymore. There was a couple kids from union city That I had grown up with later after that there was a kid that his father had a pharmacy Six blocks into my mother's bar and there was another kid

That I had grown up there. There was this mafia family. There were two of them. They had there were two brothers ruberos And I bumped into them years later. Yeah, and whenever I would bump into them, they would always go Hey, you remember lazarito when he fucked raffio bravo And I always felt really bad about that. Like I always felt like man And this year I did a show at Gotham and one of the guys show he married one of my friends They got married later on in life like in their 40s One of the guys from the boarding school from the boarding school and I started talking to him back and forth Right and I go, it's do you think class really goes? I remember mumblings about that

He goes to raffio kid was a kind of an oak too. I don't know if you remember that and I I mistook it as a weak kid Right, you know, they act kind of like, you know, I don't remember I don't remember who knows at that age But the other night in my fucking highness There's not only in my fucking whacking that I'm not only in my high on the caffeine I'm also whacking that dudes lutes in the back every 15 minutes. I'm in there with the pipe You know, I'm I'm listening to music. I'm writing in a notebook. I got a computer open at the same time Let me check on this. I remember and I checked on lazarita. I went through all the facebook and there he was

Really a grown man. I went to him. I went to his messages. I tried to be his friend Had me what do you say? I didn't hear nothing and then I hit him with a message. Hey, do you remember fucking? rafio bravo when he asked Yes, I did and the next day he was off facebook. Oh forget it. So done. So I was right. So you were right I was right. I was right. Something had happened. Oh, yeah But yeah kids now, you know, he had a wife. Yeah, but the fact that you said, you know, yeah That he might have been a fruity demati Fucking banging the kid in the in whatever the cool. Oh, I felt really bad because wow

I remember those kids how bad like The kid was traumatized after you got fucking here. I'm traumatized That's not like a bunch of kids jerking off and they get caught by their parents or something, you know I mean, that's that's a little Worst that's pretty bad. We had a shower. Wow, like uh, remember the sopranos when the kid was taking a shower He's shitting the shower Remember that episode? Yeah. Yeah, we're like a bunch of kids in a school shower I'll never forget that we used to stand around the shower

And one day lazarito vlog got a fucking A piece of soap And put it up one of the kids asses and the shit was on the soap and he threw it on the floor Fucking the nun came in and Who the fuck would put this? Oh, she thought I did it I look like type of guy that puts a bar of soap up God

Oh my god, she was smacking people who did that with the bar of soap And lazarito went behind some kid and went like that. Yes, it's dirty And the soap was white with a little like it looked like it looked like a fucking Oh, man, it's no cone, but the other one that's dipped in chocolate. Oh god. Oh my god Oh, shit Oh, man I shouldn't be saying this shit. I know It's crazy because I was watching that fucking michael jackson thing. I didn't watch it. Was it bad? Yeah, it's uh

And who's it coming from who some of these victims kids that? Two kids that went to testify that michael was good to them And then the effects of this stuff Came into their lives, you know the effects of Getting your tongue licked at seven and You know, then the kid came back to shoot the The video when it was mccully colkin and And I I related to one part of it. I did relate to one part of it because it happened to me

Is being overwhelmed All the parents were very overwhelmed So they're not talking to nick the torah who lives in in uh Whatever fuck you live they're talking to nick the torah who lived in rose dale, right and your father worked hard every day and your mother worked hard And all of a sudden You do a dance contest and you win And they take a picture you and michael jackson requests for me

And he flies to your hometown. He meets you meet your parents And all of a sudden a week later he flies you and your middle class working parents out from queens, right? And brings them to never never land or whatever the fuck they lived. I mean they both had the similar stories And you know, you go to I mean, you know these kids are saying the shit that it was michael jackson So you went to toys or us and it was like fill the cart to the top But on top of that they're taking care of your parents, you know So now michael jackson comes to you and says I fucking love nick nick, you know, right? I want him to he's seven but he's gonna be a great fucking dancer

The talent is over buried I want to take you and him on the road on my international tour, right? Japan, tokyo, australia all the places your parents ever dreamed about going They don't have two nickels to rub together And guess what at the beginning of the tour you're staying right next to michael jackson's room. That's sweet And you got a maid and room service at the end of the night your kid wants to sleep with michael You know in his room and they got extra rooms over there for you So you're like you don't want to break your kids heart. Sure. He's with his hero. How harmless could this be, right?

And then you know, I mean they just told these stories that When I look at it is getting overwhelmed, you know, your middle class I mean the one lady even said he lent us money to buy a house and see me valid I mean michael was very generous that whole thing that's the story of these two guys and I understand I had this happen to somebody close to me, right the similar situation didn't happen with a celebrity It happened to them with a relative, right and they you know pulled me aside one day and said can they talk to me And this person so two kids had similar stories similar stories of what how they were rotated How you know what he did what he didn't do how he kept in touch with them

How the kid and both of them are successful like they both went out one kid went to be a choreographer for britney spears and when he was 14 he tried to fuck him in the ass And it hurt too much So he fucking took his dick out Yeah, and he drove him to his house The car drove him to his house and he went back to whatever the mother then the next day michael's secretary called That they were going to pick him up right away And michael brought him to the studio and said would you do it the underwear?

He goes go home and get it before anybody finds it because there might be blood stains in it You know, it's just and you sit there. I don't know what you sit there as a parent. You sit there as a human being You sit there as a man You sit there as somebody who likes kids But I also sit there as a criminal And I know when somebody is playing with somebody's mind You know and you and I both know look at what happened two weeks ago with jessie smollett That didn't happen because it was play as gay that didn't happen because it was black

That happened because of the pressures of hollywood pro Sometimes we forget who the fuck we are And it happens to all of us at one time And then we catch ourselves and go what the fuck was I thinking right? I don't like these people I don't know nothing about these people. Right. I don't even like these people I would not hang out with these people If you fucking paid me Like when you really come to think about that at the end, you know the harvey winestines all this shit

This only happens here nick. Yeah, because people are willing to sell this So, you know when I first started going through a vanity chubbock the acting school I was a stand-up that was barely making a living And one day I booked mad mad tv whatever right and some of the girls in the class saw it They were all 23 24 27 And they would all come up to me and go you have an agent here If you get us an agent, we'll do what I think for you I mean people are willing to suck a dick for an agent instead. Yeah, so what do you think harvey saw harvey saw an opportunity?

And he took it am I mad at him? Yeah, he's a fucking pedophile whatever the fuck he is, but right You know people are willing to sell their soul in this town. Yeah, they are we've seen it happen 30,000 times The reason why you and I are still here is because we didn't sell ourselves We may not be rich. We may not have a butler. We may not work every day At least we know who the fuck we are right and we're not fucking confused And and you've ever worked on a kid show Uh, yeah, you ever see the mothers

Yeah, it's it's it's it's insane. It's insane. Yeah, it's insane. These people don't know I got home you have what's called stage moms. Yeah And guys you don't even want to know what that world entails. No, you don't you know That's a complete different world in this town that yeah, you don't even want to get to know because It's uh, it will do anything anything the mothers will do Parents are ruthless anything and the fathers are at home working right they're working on nine to five and We're gonna fuck and that's why a lot of those kids, you know I'm not protected and a lot of those kids get fucking destroyed and some of them that a star has wind up, you know

Dead and I hooked on drugs and I mean, you know It's stories that I spoke to rick shrodie years ago and he was telling me he had good parents and they protected him He could have been like a lot of his friends in hollywood that got fucked up and destroyed So between the parents the drug was the pressure Start them, you know, it's just too much man. What the fuck you didn't get invited to the oscars. I was all happy I know it's unbelievable. I thought you were going to fucking ask You were great. You know, no, thank you. Thank you. I went to the sega woods I went to the sega woods. Um, but the oscars not everybody gets invited to the oscars

You the oscars is very political and you got to be I think if you're a member even if you're a member it's like by You know, uh, it's by lottery now to even get a fucking ticket Maybe a couple of people that were nominated will get invited But not everybody from the movie a lot of the guys I spoke to that were in the movie They had big parts good parts like me weren't invited So that's just how it you know, it would have been nice to be there But the bottom line was I was in the movie in the movies academy award movie won the con film festival

So I mean, listen, I've been to all these big award shows except the oscars So it would have been nice when you were shooting the movie. Did you think there was an oscar? No, no, no, I just thought it was interesting I I thought you know, I was only there for like nine days whatever Did my role hadn't worked with spike in a long time But I did like the tone of the movie. I thought adam driver was interesting John david I liked him But I I had no expectations. I didn't think the movie was going to be anything that big until spike told me

This is like some do the right thing shit, nick, you know, and when I saw I did the looping for it I said, ah, and I heard it got into the con film festival and I said Oh, that must be good. It must be because I almost went to con spike at two tickets that I fucked up I didn't go I should have my son was like you blew it. You blew it I could have went to the con and walked that red car. I should have just went I got the plane ticket You know because con is like it's a scene. It's like the oscars. Maybe even more prestige in a way But it won the uh, the camera at the water, whatever they call it over there But no, I didn't I didn't know man. I didn't really know what was going to be

That that you know that kind of movie. Um, sometimes it's better when you don't expect shit like that You know, it's like years ago with my pd. I didn't I didn't know my pd blue was going to be you know, legendary show But sometimes, you know, the things you think that are going to be fucking home runs never are but this was uh This all came together and you know when I saw the premiere in brooklyn. That was a great night John was there and you know everybody was like man. This is dynamite was it was it was you know It was a great feeling. I mean but like I say I would I would have liked to been to the oscars But I wasn't there so it's okay. I'm still in the movie so and the movie's gonna you know, a lot of people are watching it now

And um, I had spite finally got his uh, his oscar, which is cool. I'm happy for him. He's back He's back in the game, you know, it's been a it's been it's been a minute But spike, you know, he's had a great body a body of work and uh, you know It all started for me with him more better blues jungle fever. I mean it wasn't for him I might not even be in show business I mean, I was thinking about it like if I didn't meet him and I didn't scream those racial obscenities or whatever he made me do Fuck and who knows I might have not even become an actor It was funny how someone gets you started that starts you and it all started with him

I'll be I was like my late 20s I was in my fucking late 20s and you know, I went down one night to be an extra and then I didn't show up the next night I don't he was asking like what happened. Why didn't he come back? And then he called me one day out of the blue to do some looping for fucking more better blues Oh, not more bad for do the right thing And then that's how I you know, that's how I caught his attention by yelling and screaming this Fucking racial obscenities for like three hours and he was laughing hard and

Next thing I know he put me in a movie So, you know, it was more better blues man. I'm with two Jewish guys. We're playing two Jews me and my brother Uh, Mo and josh flatbush, you know denzel washington. I was like, who's this guy? Wow. He's fucking good And my brother was like, oh, yeah, this guy's like, you know, and I was like, I just hope I could do I hope I don't suck It was my first movie, you know But I worked hard, you know, and I remember after a couple of weeks My brother goes had to go back to being the doorman. He was don't forget what happened here Don't forget the experience you had

So I won't I won't I knew like, you know, it definitely changed my you know This bike was like I got something else for you coming Something better. You know the next movie I was like, all right, great. So that started the whole shit That was jungle fever and then that was like my coming out party, you know, I was like really Fucking so psyched and pumped and we were rehearsing. I had the haircut the surgical tachyny Sweatsuit. I mean Fucking when I was really like in a zone in that movie. I knew after that movie. I said, all right. This is it. I'm I'm doing this. I'm going for this. No, I'm not stopping me now. I was like that really was my

You know, so it's always special, you know to do something with a guy that started you, you know I mean, it's nice to to have that feeling. You know, the only thing is uh, you don't pay a lot He don't pay a lot but that's how he is but it's okay you know, man, I say it all the time how The allure of this town it's not For me, it was never the start thing for me. It was never the start thing It was just doing what I wanted to do. I liked I enjoyed comedy I enjoyed a movie or a tv show from time to time

It wasn't money or anything like that. It was just something I enjoyed, you know, mm-hmm and It's still be 56 I still live here and you go like joy. Yeah, I could see your Not unpleasant this not hate Because I don't hate it. I just know I'm not going to settle here I know I don't want to die in california. I want to have a different type of house

Me too. I want to have a different type of life. I want it to be a little slower You know, but the thing that keeps you here is whether it's lee or you or me. It's that everything could change In one fucking phone call, right and nobody else that lives Like that understands that That we're here talking today and tomorrow you might get a show a call To go to culver city at 430 To read this new fucking show on abc

And you go in there and a year later. It's on time magazine. It's a cover of this It wins 13 emmy's and your fucking life changes forever. Yeah 57 years old or 23 years old Or 38 years old something that doesn't happen when you just have a regular day job If I'm on a day job, I'm gonna work on a movie theater. I might get promoted to manager That's not gonna change my life. Exactly. It's gonna put a couple of duckets in my pocket and whatever That's why the allure of the allure of that. You're only a job away. It's my lottery ticket, right, right? We're one job away from from getting back on and you don't know what job that's going to be Yeah, it could be a movie with will smith or it could be a

Fucking short film Right without johnny delacruz that goes to con and wins best film But a guy that's doing a pilot mbc That was actually gonna go with johnny gumbaz to play that part Is not gonna go with you because on the way out he heard your voice or whatever the fuck That thing is what keeps us here that little That all this could change now. What do you want it to change? What do you want to fly around the world like prince? I don't want to let that stuff down. I don't have the I don't have but you can know that maybe

Somebody puts together a show that it's going to be the best five years of your life Yeah, and you're gonna do it from 58 to 63. Yep. You're and then when you're done, you're done. You're done. That's what I want Yeah, I want that. I'm done. I want that and not just the money. I want that That feeling again. I want that feeling like I remember when I never gonna feel like that when I'm in my pd Blue and I was young and this and that and everything was so new so fresh So when I think back like and sometimes I go wow, did I really That I in that I soak it all in that I enjoy it I I probably did because I was I was in it

But just that feeling that high again to be a part of something that good and to have that ride I want one good ride Before I fucking go on to wherever I go in there. I mean I'm hanging on that's what I'm hanging on to You know because I still got some shit left in the tank And I still got some some punch left. So worst case scenario you could always be A fucking chef. Yeah, you brought some sauce. Oh, I brought some sauce. So you know, maybe I branch out It's okay. I just picked it up from gelsons Yeah, so we mass produced it now. I'm sampling it. How's it how does it taste?

Tremendous, you know I went to original joes a couple weeks ago in san jose san francisco. Right. I mean after 92 years And there was a point where I just tasted the spaghetti right like without the sauce I got some of the spaghetti right the spaghetti was fucking delicious. Good. I could taste the flavor They put the butter in it. They put it back in the pot and stirred the butter in it. Nice. This is al dente Show them the color of that good color too. They got the rib in there everything Just has to be marketed. That's it

I mean my mom made an incredible sauce and now I've developed mine and everybody goes nuts over it. So it's just a matter of, you know Getting some the right people behind it. Maybe put me and john's face on it You know, even though he didn't make it, but it's our family, you know, I mean, that's in us You know, we grew up our sauce was unbelievable my mom I never could even see how she made it. It just seemed like it appeared You know, she had a brazil the fucking meatballs were just melted your mouth. I mean But you know, my sauce is people come fucking delicious. They come for it Yeah, I mean I made it years ago for Adam's light and this is light, right?

Very light. You like the two really I I wouldn't I want to have the entire jar He would drink it. Yeah He brings it every time I was thinking about today. I was like, oh Nick come over and bring sauce No, when you see you obviously get sandwiches from the mingles, but eight o'clock they're fucking close seven o'clock It's all right. It's all right. No, I'm happy that I thought maybe we'll just order a pizza from joes We'll get a grubhub whatever. I know because I don't think Joe's are delivered from Sherman Oaks now. I had a big late lunch at the monocles not bad. I had some oysters today

And I had some fucking uh, ceviche not bad. I had the oysters are good for the uh, old pinga You know, I'll tell you man. I'm fucking oysters They work just like clams on the half-shell, you know, it works squats. Why when you squat really heavy weight Oh, man, my dick gets fucking hot dark chocolate too. It's like dark chocolate. No, it's good dark chocolate Get your dick on get your malachi up there I was talking to a friend of mine Like a girl I went to high school with when I went to jersey. We were all in the same room like a bunch of guys Let me try some more. Let me go see go some surprise. A happy is still get it up. Really because she's single

She's like all right single and I go why you date she goes, ah Half the guys I date don't get a fucking hard on like that's a shame. Yeah, right? I mean if you're that young, you know, I mean the only thing is, you know, you know, it's a different kind of hard Oh, yeah, it's a different hard on it's a fucking nightmare. We're hard on it comes and it goes and it disappears quickly We're gonna fuck there you go. There's no more fucking hold on 10 minutes. I'm gonna give you another stab in a second No way, right? Yeah, that was 20 year old, you know, you it's funny how sometimes you're driving in a car And you're out of light and you see a young couple right like 18 17 And you look at them and you go

They're doing some fucking. Yeah, like I remember going like, you know, like being I never in the car Like I never got into that young But I got into like when I was 20 21 like that one girl from that you fucked Every day twice a day No matter what she got two dickens a day even when I was living in Seattle When I did that one girl, I gave her a stab and every day I had to keep her in check Right every fucking day. I had the yeah Now I can't give nobody a stab every day not every day not every day

I still get horny. Yeah, I still get dark thoughts. You wake you wake up with a hard on. Yeah. Good. That's good Yeah, sometimes I get horny in the middle of night. Sometimes I get horny when I'm on the computer Yeah, I get fucking three in the morning. I'll be in the computer. Oh, yeah, sure It's funny how different things get you excited now as you get older Little things, you know Your taste changes You know, you can't plan it. You just got to live in the moment You know, you can't plan that shit

You know, I mean you just can't plan there's when it comes it comes, you know, Ray Romano special He talks about that. Does he yeah That was special. Huh? I like that. No, it was a very good. Was it good. He's a good stand. He's a very good stand 30 years He's good. Right. He's got me Bro, when he's solid, you know, it's acting solid. Yeah, do some good shit. Yeah I'm she gonna do some good shit that I've even said that show he had on tnt I got hooked on that for a while the men's show with the black dude and the white guy I got into that show. Yeah, he was he was even good in that that vinyl showed it wasn't very good

But I thought he was good. He was great. Yeah, and I mean, I he is he gonna be in uh, the Irishman That should that should be interesting, huh? De Niro, Pesci Kytel, uh, I don't know what the fuck the chino. I I just want to see it. I mean, I don't know I think Sebastian men of scowl goes and he's getting some acting work. They're using him good for him Good for him. He's a good stand up. He's in the green book, which I liked. I thought the green my friend wrote that book How did you get a piece of that? I'll tell you why when my friend Nick vela vela longa wrote it And then I said, yeah, how come they used all these generic guys? They didn't want to use people from what I heard that were very known

And sometimes they wanted to go against that not that I'm known. Well, they used that guy That what's the older guy in there's name that he was the original Don Johnson Then Don Johnson took his job Good-looking Italian guy not that he was married to the chick from NYPD blue Oh, oh Joe Cortese. Yeah, he's in yeah. Well, Joe was in but Joe was like the only no Joe's a character I know Joe, but I mean there was all these other guys That were like, you know, they were okay. I didn't think they were that memorable, you know, I liked the script I thought that V goes a great actor, but he's not Italian

But you know, the movie was a good. It was a good was a good enjoyable movie. I liked the movie I thought it was a good movie. Yeah, one of my friends loves it. He says one of the best movies I've ever seen I've never watched it yet. I'm not gonna say it's one of the greatest movies of all time But I think it was a very good movie. I thought star is born was very good I mean, I mean the Rhapsody movie. I thought the kid was good. I didn't love the movie, but The kid was very good in it. I mean, you thought the star of born was good. Yeah Yeah, I thought he did a great job But dice was good and then my brother turned that roll down that dice did

And uh, I guess john didn't want to do that role But um, but dice was good, but I liked the movie Bradley Cooper I mean, he's gotten better and better and better You know, hey two paisans too Bradley Cooper and uh, and uh, lady gaga two Italians So I did like them why I saw it on the big screen. I saw roma, which It was slow. I mean people loved it. You know, it was artistic That was that mexican moat guy and he made it Uh, how fun so coron or something, but the movie was

It was slow, but it was interesting. It was beautifully shot. It was in black and white It was all about women. I don't know if you saw it roma. Um, but I love the green book I love the black clansman. I thought it was easily probably one of the best movies too I thought we were right there. I thought we could have gotten We could have gotten it too, but it was at least that's something in the beginning of the movie During the movie goes, you know We don't go to the movies as much. No, no, you know, you do though I go a little bit. I respect you because you're a student of the game

Me It's not the same seeing the movie on the small screen. You are I'm over Nothing has blown my fucking top off in a long time. It's been a while So I got a problem either. I'm living too much in the past. I've thought about this. No, you're not but the other night I Fucking came home from the store Sunday night. My wife was sleeping And I went on youtube and I bought here the dragon. I was just in the mood for mickey rock, right? I was driving back up lower. Okay, and I'm in the mood for mickey rock. It's 299. I'm gonna watch an hour of it

I laughed I cried I fucking giggled my ass off. He says a couple lines in that movie. You know the first time I watched here the dragon I walked out Yeah, that's all that at the fox theater in boulder It was like I had just moved to boulder in 1985 and just been out that week and you walked out I did when he walks in and tells the chinese people there's a new marshland town I'm like, what the fuck is this fucking punk ass bitch? Yeah, he did the popo granades village now. He's threatening chinese people not on my clock

I got up and walked out of the fucking movie when he showed up two years later an angel heart Yeah, and it was a little stronger But the first time I watched here the dragon I walked out and then I saw it like on vhs I worked at a video store they came in and you had a different feel the second time. Oh, yeah now I love that's why I'll tell you you can't judge your movie the first time You could watch a movie that you loved and then the second time you don't love it as much or that vice versa You didn't love and then you go. Wow. This is fucking way better This is like like the movie the town I watched that movie that ben afleck made

20 times. I love that. I love that movie. I love that if it's on tnt It's better than the movie that he made that he got nominated for I will watch the town 80 times jeremy jeremy rena and and ben afleck is fucking great in it That's a great fucking movie. The chick is good. The chick is good even the fucking cop that bothers me in real life Even that guy he's a bit of a douche. What's his name? He plays a good douche guy. He was on that series I figured mad man mad man. Yeah, he was great. Close the fucking gate. I mean, I love that movie I love that. I watched it and there's a there's a john ham. John ham. Yeah, he plays a good Douchey guy

You know, he's the kind of guy you look at him and you go. I don't like this guy, but he's a good actor He's a good actor. I gotta give it to him and that's a great I'll tell you a movie that I love that people don't even know about told michael and perioli Fingers. Have you ever seen fingers? No 1977 kytel michael v. Gazzo Oh my god, you got to see a young tony sericos in it james towback wrote and directed It's one of the bet jim brown is in it. Oh, shit. You're gonna love this movie fingers somebody told me about this Fucking great luke brats. He's in it. There's a scene

Where kytel collects for his dad. He's a collector his dad michael v. Gazzo He fucking he carries a radio and he listens to that movie summertime summertime summertime But he wants to play piano concert pianist, but he but he moon lights as a collector for his dad And the fucking there's a scene where it's uh, john's pizzeria on mulberry street and he goes in there and and he he uh He what he called confronts, uh, lennie montana who played fucking You know, uh, luke brats. Yeah, and he tells him can I talk to you? He goes no, no, you know, he tells him because I gotta talk to you

He goes and he takes him in the back and he's like what a confrontation. Now, you know, kytel goes in there carrying the radio 1970s in the john's pizzeria You could even google that scene the fucking scene is is great. I don't want to tell you how the scene goes down But it's a good movie. It's like it's like one of the best movies that people don't know about Fingers you will love it. I know it's right up your alley You will fucking love this more new york in the 70 and just whatever reason I found it like at a fucking Costco years ago and I discovered it A lot of these movies you watch james towback. He made the original gambler. His guy was talented

That's a good movie too with jimmy con with jimmy con. That's a great movie. It's a good movie But these movies know it's good too thief. That's one of my all-time favorite movies. That's a good movie It's one of the michael man's best. That's the one that sent me over the top. Yeah, I love that That movie turned me into a criminal like when I saw that that's why you will love fingers guarantee when when that movie came out First of all that one was very believable One con in 1980. Oh, it did thief one con. Look it up. See if i'm right thief one con in 1980 Nobody knew about that movie. No, and then the first 15 minutes no dialogue the the fall of 81 And that movie came out on HBO with on the same lineup with hollywood nights

And a movie by the name of raging bull Wow, so every night on HBO was the same boring lineup at the end 1am thief. Yeah 233 raging bull And we would stay up right we would meet we would so we would go to pathmark shoplift Pay for half the shit Oh my god, and then go home and make chocolate shakes and fucking watch movies that we were lifters Me and my buddy were power lifters weight lifters. Yeah, so at night we would make protein shakes with you

Raw eggs we put six eggs in there. Yeah wheat germ Fucking ice cream. We were getting yoked and shit. Oh my god. We what didn't win con 1980. I am I'll tell you in a second because it's 1981 Is that when it came out 81 Yeah, people didn't know they didn't know who even michael man was no no james con Was saying this guy. I'm gonna tell you who stole that movie jim balushi did very good Willie nelson is phenomenal. He's great the guy robert prosky robert prosky is phenomenal The chick is phenomenal. She's good, too. When he tells her it was they well

He goes get out there was a route. Oh my god is one of the movies that put me over the top Half the shit I do today Well because it the movie is very real there's something about that movie that he didn't even jim, but it's the best thing jim balushi ever did The best thing he ever did is right the best when he walks in then he tells the guy he puts a gun to his head I come in here to discuss a piece of business with you Then what are you gonna do? You're gonna give me fairy tales. Who are you slick? Somebody know you get the fuck out of here And he pulls that 45 to his head He says I'm nice as slowly. I am the last guy in the world

You want to fuck you want to fuck right? Let us pretend you don't know whose money it is, right? Let us pretend you don't know who's right this You know that whole scene makes my heart. Oh, I love it and when I go after people like that We got this problem and I think the other guy's good, too. He goes. Well, what do you what do you mean? Take it to probate take it to probate. You got the liberty of tin la la Whatever your fucking name, I don't know. I call get the fuck out of here and call was denis farina denis farina Who I fucking love right one of his first bro. You saw him walk by he looks at jimmy con Yeah, he looks at I love I'm with you when he walks in I just bought the criterion collection

When he walks in and he goes you keep this car running, right? He tells jim balushi. You remember the car. It's one of my favorite cars. Oh my god The one he drove in the movie the berets the all the rather berets at the work The work car was like the paniaclamans the black fucking berets. Oh, I love that car He shows up there. There's another famous actor in there He goes hey pal when he's trying to pick up the girls you were late and that was william peterson You remember the guy playing in the band? That's

In fact, in fact, michael man used him in his next movie Which was uh manhunter manhunter. Yeah, he used him in so when you see peterson from csi See, uh, yeah, csi. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is 1980s the guitar player and then he was yeah He's the door. No, he's the door guy. Yeah that comes over and goes. Hey, right He's like, you know, because he shows up like he fucking hits him. Yeah, and then he carries her out of there And the black guy goes and he put smacks the guy Because what do you think I do? You know, I'm a fucking thief. I change shoes like most guys change cars like most guys change their fucking shoes

Yeah, I wasn't a joint and he's looking at it for an answer. Yeah, I don't give a I don't care It was whatever come on to you Did I ever come on to you? Right because i'm a true blue kind of guy. I'm a true blue type of guy Let's get on with this big romance. He goes, you know, fuck around. Oh man. It's a non nonsense type of character You know the red the scene in the restaurant when they're sitting there after they adopt a baby And then the chinese guy goes, what's a nice baby? What's name? No name yet. No name It's because you want to name him after okra. He goes, no, your name is david david

He goes, hey, hey guy. Hey guy. My son. My son is david david. David. Good name. David. Good. I love that So simple You know And man, you know when they did they fucking you knew they were gonna do a number on him He was like, you know, I'll have you I will have your wife on the streets getting fucking By niggas and Puerto Ricans You will die. What did you say? They'll be eating them. They'll be eating them for lunch and hamburgers You do what I say. I fucking say you will end up in the joint

Right, you don't want to work for me. He goes. Oh my god. He just reads in the right. What happened to your pal And they tub throw him in a tub of acid But that was after they stole that from into the dragon the day that's the jim kelly I mean his mentality. He didn't give a fuck. No at the end when he goes back Now when he goes back dog when there's a scene in there guys when they show him washing his head He gets the tonic throws in the sink and he looks at himself in the mirror for 30 seconds Then he slams his forehead in the mirror. Yep, and the mirror kind of cracks And then you see him walk into a closet. Yeah, and you know in real life

That's how you have to you have to be that disciplined remember when she's like, what are you doing? Right. Why are you doing this? This is like it was over The first month is 300,000. You will pay him a hundred After that you will be on your own and all this shit exactly those type of guys a program like that. That's And at that age, I was like, that's what I need Really, that's a discipline I need right say to someone let's stick to something. That's why I started there was something very truthful about Just the way they did that movie. I don't know and I'm not a fucking criminal But there was something about that movie that just rang so true

Even when you watch it, you're just like, wow, they really nailed it, you know That's funny after that. I went to Aspen and I met a guy with an electrician So I talked to him about alarms. Glad you love that movie. He talked to me about alarms And he taught me about alarm systems He did and I became an electrician's helper and it was all to learn how to break into alarms Really my whole motivation. What about that one that didn't that the tool that they made the tool that they made He goes, I want to make up. Yeah, that was some fucking tool. You had to draw and then I was always confused I always thought that you had a fucking be a safe bracket

So for years, I was going there with a sledgehammer Yeah, try to break things and shit And then that's not true in summer of 83. I met a westy You did and he told me goes nah, we don't bracket that's in the movies Who told you this a westy a westy guy? I had become friends with him through a friend of mine and he liked me and he used to get me jobs at warehouses to case them out Yeah, he would go. I got your job. Go down there. Everybody's in on it Yeah, go down there case the stuff out because he knew I was a thief

Right. So you go look for the windows look for access look for access to the roads Tell me what you see that you don't like because me he would take me to places Yeah, and go. What do you see that you don't like? Yeah I don't like that windows too close to the street that lady's always in the window You're not gonna get in that fucking building that way. He's always I could see that shit. Yeah from miles away So he knew that right so he told me he's the one that said we don't break safes So we take the safe home and then we go to a guy with a welding and he wells the safes open Right, so then I started doing that. I just started taking my handjack with me. Oh, really?

Yeah, and I would just walk out with the safe with the whole so I stole about 10 safes And I opened up about all 10 of them. You did. Yeah without all that skill Give somebody 300 to fucking get a weld this thing. Yeah This fucking guy, you know, like he will he knows someone's his inspiration. Yeah, like he inspired him Well, will he knows and he met him in jail in jail, right? You meet somebody in jail somebody takes care of you You get you become a better criminal in jail. Oh you do. Oh, yeah, you meet you meet guys that uh the guy that's you At 30 or 40, right? So you meet him at 28. You got a five-year bit He's in your ear every fucking day. Oh, okay. He's in your ear every day

When we get out we're gonna do this this and this. Yeah So now you learn if you look at that guy that worked for Pablo Escobar He learned routes when he went to prison. Yeah, the guy from the meddling cartel The one that was a nazi and like John Leonard and all that shit He got better in prison. He was a weed smuggler Right went to prison for weed and he met dudes that were going. What are you doing? We got cocaine you get out call this guy and tell him you got a plane And don't do it through here do it through there. You know when I got locked up. I learned a bunch of things

You learn little things that Most people do not know right like one thing I learned in federal lock up before you get sent out Was all those guys were saying the same thing as dirty as this is I'll say it You know in movies you see a guy show up with a briefcase Look at this bumpy. He's passed out. I'm fucked up He's fucking wet He's fucking dude, man

I never seen anybody like him. We took the elbows a death to me. Yeah one for each eyeball. You know what I'm saying? You're still open. I'm getting there. I had a moment there for a second Look at him. I always He was you you heard that noise before. Oh, yeah, there was somebody stepping on a dog. Yeah He stepped on a dog downstairs How's the stand-up going? I was just standing good. It's good. That's going really well I gotta I gotta hear you one day come out. I'm acting. I'm uh, I'm doing skank first I'm pretty excited about that. Yeah

Yeah, well rapper ports doing my man. My mic. He's doing stand-up now, huh? Like he was a stand-up. He was right so now he's out there doing his shit Now he's out there. Listen, he's created his own market. I was gonna say he was you know in all these movies You see a guy come up with a suitcase And he gives it to you and the guy opens up the suitcase He goes it's good And then you take it and you take a tube and you cut it and put in a tube and shake it up to see if it's blue Right, and you take it home. You know for years. I never I never gotten in trouble for drunk possession or sales

I always kept sales to people I knew right and even if I didn't knew you and I had a I always put a cop uniform on you. Uh-huh like with my head like that. I was watching Carlito's way When Carlito walks into the hospital and he goes, I don't know But that guy doesn't look like he should be wearing right that blue suit. That's how you know a cop is a suit You look at him and go put that suit on him If it's a cop, it's a cop as you trust your right your instinct. I remember meeting not one guy But I talked to multiple guys that didn't know each other Right, you know multiple different guys that showed me their paperwork and what they had been arrested for

You know possession of 10 kilos of cocaine and shit And there was one guy that told me there was a couple guys that told me stories about He goes I go. Well, why would you sell him that much? If he didn't do cocaine, he's like, what are you talking about? This guy was going line for line with me, right? These guys go line for line with you. Wow. The one guy was saying I'm a coke shooter This guy would go shot for shot with me But they take you once they get you on camera and they get the audio and the 10 cops come in and they handcuff you

They got you. Yeah. So what they do is they put that cop into rehab Really they clean them up and he shows up when his when his system is clean You're sitting there going he can't be a cop. I did heroin with him. I did coke with him and they're like, you're a criminal Well, I'm gonna believe you. Yeah, but I knew tons of guys that said the same stories the same shit I got high with them shot coke if they ate pills I ate pills You know, it's just a different animal when you're at that level you're at that level a federal agent you got to throw down Yeah, when you're a local guy, maybe some kid will say you're a nickel bad But for me to sell you two kilos, we gotta hang out for a couple weeks. Right. Let me get to know you

Let's make some runs. You know I'm saying so that shit don't happen But the fucking lords prayers were answered this week Finally you decided to start releasing a podcast. Yeah, finally finally about that You know Leastle talks to that guy with the baseball games and stuff. Yeah, I've been talking to him. Oh, yeah We liked it and everything. I think it's a great thing. There was just no money to be made and that's why we didn't Pursuit anymore because right it's a sad lay away from my kid, you know, blah blah blah And there's not even a little bit of money. You got to sit there with a bucket, right?

You know and then help that somebody gives you five bucks. Yeah, I don't like that I don't mind making a free video if it's a free video But two hours of me sitting and talking about a UFC fight or a baseball game. It's got to be part of the package Yeah, something, you know, it could work if it's part of the whole part of the whole thing Even with this thing maybe We'll watch a few games with some people together parts of games and implement that into the show You know, even though baseball I can't it can't just be about baseball But we can take snips and clips from shit, you know

But that I think the idea of it was good. It just needs to be more It wasn't flushed out enough. I think to make it like I know when we did it we tried it for a UFC and as an app Right download the app and there was like a couple of steps Yeah, and you have to eliminate a couple of those steps right people are used to clicking fast. They want to click They want to click once or twice or three times. No, I was listen now. I went on cc sabatia and the sky ryan ruko in new york I did a podcast with them and they And they were fascinated by the idea said it would be great if we had like a an app to channel

We we could have a do a game once in a while uncensored uncut Where, you know, you don't just curse the curse or you say, ah, fuck mother, you know, you're watching the game really Unun Just want to say shit. Yeah, if you want to say God damn it. Right. God damn it. I don't fucking care, you know and cc sabato's man That would be great You know and ruko goes, yeah, that would be great to do a game where you're like in a real You know situation with a real fan like me and maybe a few guys and just off the cuff watch a game but

Commentate on it in an organic real way for like a real like give them that option Like if they want to watch a baseball in a different kind of way instead of this generic way and they were like that That could be fucking great something like that. They liked the idea. They were saying this design new app Area, but they're doing just boxing. I think right now they signed they're out of england I don't know da zian you heard about them canelo signed with them and it's a new network But I mean listen, I'm gonna start with this try to build it up You know, I mean I've been fooling around with this stuff for the last few years But it's it's about time that I give it a shot and go at it every week

And try to fucking, you know, bring me Nick tutorial to the fucking place every week and something find my own fucking thing You know, I mean, that's about time. I've been talking shit and everybody's like, well, just do it. Just do it So it's time and I got nick nick who's like behind it and this other guy show time was supporting it So maybe well, we'll get a little love guys like you mickey wraps everybody's like, you know Give me that little push and and you know, it might as well fucking do it. Why not Go for it, brother. What do I got to lose? I'm happy you came on. I'm happy you brought the sauce. Thank you, buddy Please done. Yeah, take it home. Take it home. You know what? Take it home. He did put it on some on some pasta That's for you

But you know, don't let it go to waste because that's fucking no, I'm gonna put that Yeah, absolutely. I wish I knew how to cook pasta make it. I don't know how to work that Just boil the boil the fucking you know, I just don't know how to use this fucking stove Well, what kind of stove? I don't fucking know. How do you have to click it? Nah, she does it. I don't fucking get a good stove. You got a good stove. I got a great stove I just don't know what the fuck it is. You know me though. I don't know. Yeah, I'll let your wife do it Yeah, I thought I'll say how they make some spaghetti if you don't mind And we should think about the fights the other night

I thought the fights were fucking uh They were good. Yeah, wouldn't he had a bad night? Yeah, they gave him that elbow dust Yeah, and he fucking uh The fucking the other guy benny when he got the guy that has you could so you can wrestle, huh? Bad ashrin that was a fucking bad ashrin could wrestle, huh? Yeah, that's gonna be interesting to see how this and they're gonna make them fight again or not Yeah, there were some really good fights in the card, but I'm not that much into it that much anymore. You're losing your taste for it. Yeah, 65 fucking dollars go rob somebody

Oh my god, I want to thank nick tutorial. Good luck with the podcast keepers posted I want to thank you guys. I want to thank the flying jew the christ killer But most importantly you guys that listen to the podcast and the church family for supporting us and following us Every week like I told you I'm gonna be in houston. It's all sold out Buffalo sold out and pittsburgh April 4th through the 6th. That's all I got for you right now What I do want to do is the church is brought to you by Listen

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Hello Life's a sin except for my shoes Life's a sin you're shaking like travel Life's a sin it's all inside you It's So easy So Oh

So tough together so tough So tough to live So tough for you Oh Life's a sin the mulling is down real Life's a sin except for my shoes It's all inside you So

So So The next thing I'm gonna do is carry on It's a sin except for my shoes It's a sin you're shaking like travel Life's a sin it's all inside you