Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #678 - Chelsea Skidmore

Episode Date: April 25, 2019

Chelsea Skidmore, a stand up comedian, actor and host of "The Chelsea Skidmore Show" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   Hims - Go to ForHims.com/COCO to get started for just $10. While supplies last, restrictions apply.   

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Christ killer Find the things like all of them diamond ring bitches kill fall would you still roll if we couldn't see the sun You're a tylin would you ride then if I wasn't driving Eight figure nigga by the neighbor jigger would you come around me or would you clown me if I couldn't flow futuristic with your Put your two lips on my wooden kiss it could you see yourself with a nigga working harder than nine to five Go go go We're here motherfuckers Chelsea skin was here the flying Jew is here But most importantly, you're here you bad motherfuckers. What's up Chelsea? What's up? How's it going?

You know me trying to put the pieces together every day Trying to run through it's been a rough fucking week The rough couple weeks nipsey Russell People getting shot in the head In the bad neighbors, and we're just trying to put the pieces together What's going on with you? Just drinking my crack right now my no true cold brew shout out to Tate caveman coffee So is that coffee or is that fucking? It's cold brew. So what's cold brew?

I have no idea coffee. That's cold with oxygen levels and shit in it. Yeah, I don't like it's very acidic I don't like the taste of coffee, but I like the way that this makes me feel it makes me feel like I did a speedball And yeah, you don't do coffee. I just started drinking coffee. I Did black milk with I like it with half and half I like a fucking black cup of coffee strong. I wish I did with some fucking nice fake sugar Yeah, nice black cup of coffee. That's not black and a sugar. I do fuck four expressos at night. Really at night Yeah, like I could do four of them like at six if I have to go to the store 10, huh? I'll do a four shot of like

Eight how do you fall asleep? Midnight, I could fall I did come for 30 years. I could fall asleep on right. I'm gonna fall asleep drinking Red Bull Could you can you fall asleep on coke? No, okay? Me neither. It's funny a couple weeks Yeah, yes, they or Sunday. I was gonna go to bed in the day. I don't know what I was thinking about this thing. I saw about 10 years ago. There was a case that they couldn't figure out a murder carry Not a murderer the guy died But he died in the sleep and they couldn't figure out the guy never drank

He never did drugs. She stayed home every night. He was in with his wife. It was like a rider They couldn't figure out what he had done and at the autopsy They you know, they looked at his nose and he had been addicted to coke for years But what his thing was he would do coke to go to sleep. I Knew people that would do a line of coke To go up because what goes up must come down So they would do a little line of coke before they went to sleep And they would keep them up for 20 and then the crash on one little line. They would ride that wave into sleep

I don't know how people could do it. That's what this guy was doing That's fucking crazy after they interviewed his wife. His wife was like 60 and she was like it was funny He would come up every night and then go into his own private bathroom and be in there for like five minutes So after the autopsy came back they went into the bathroom and they found fucking mirrors announced half a coke He was just an old Fucking coca that figured out he wouldn't do it in the daytime He just do a line at night and then go to bed Well, you know people so there's like two different types of people like people who are addicted to coke like

They get high from coke and they're awake But if and then there's people who do pills and the people who like pills they go up, too But people who don't like pills Do you know what I mean? It's the opposite and people who like if I took pills I don't like pills that makes me sleepy and the kind of people who like pills when they do coke It makes them sleepy. Do you know what I mean? I explained it pills are always been weird Like one day if I'll sleep on the podcast about two months ago with Steve Simone We had eat nettles had to be longer. We had eat nettles, but it was the viking it

Pop like a half a viking and a half a happy pill. They put me out. Yeah, but when you read about them They have speed in them. They have Caffeine that's why they they make you feel like that Vicodin Vicodin or Norco Norco Norco Norco's they have so much I don't know what the word is speed. It's caffeine. I think caffeine or something else in it That's supposed to keep you up. That's why the pain goes away And I and then I remember being in Vegas like two years ago And with our friend he gave me a Norco and I remember going upstairs the room and I could not fall asleep

I was up. So they affect you. Well, do we take two of those caps? Okay, I think we took two of those caps. Oh, that's those are strong a happy pill Wait, what's that ecstasy? We call vikings or norco's my friend in Vegas cause happy toes So we just kept a little happy pills. It's not that we You know, so why we once a while somebody gets surgery and they'll go here's two of them Yeah, and I put them in the bag of tricks and they'll stay They'll stay in there for six months and then one night I go fuck it. Let's see the Norco

Maybe I'll go work out my back hurts or something and we that's right there, but I popped the Norco I couldn't stay awake. Hmm. But for most people they pop a Norco and it reverses them. I don't know much about Yeah pills make me tired and coke makes me awake. I can't sleep on coke I'm sober now, but I love you so before I'll have three years next month But I be because I was a really bad coke head How old were you when you started? I started when I was 15. No shit. Yeah, yes Yeah, I skipped the last period of high school Skipped art class went to the jungle gym and I did coke with my friend and I was like I love this and I just

Did it yeah did it up until like 26, but I've been sober Technically for six years, but I relapsed three years ago. I'm coke or yeah drinking and coke for a couple weeks and then now I'm back What made you relapse? I Was dating a guy who was an asshole and he cheated on me and he like rubbed it in my face And it just like it just made me snap for some reason, you know a lot of people who are Attics and alcoholics they get fucked up because they can't like feel their feelings So basically like I don't know it was just like too much for me And I think I had been in a lot of shitty relationships and it felt like everything kind of just like hit me at once

You know what I mean like dealing with the same type of person and I just kind of like snapped And I just like had to drink and I just partied really really hard and Then I had to get sober because I can't handle it anymore How long did you go off the wagon for? It was two weeks What were you thinking? I was out of my mind and I'm so glad I didn't go to the store because I've never been to the store fucked up Cuz you know when I started going there I was sober but I stayed away on my relapse cuz I was like I know I'm just gonna get high and like say weird shit to people

You know, but I know I was like texting like comics like I love your special like high on coke just like that person That was bad Eric Griffin just like pexing him at all hours. Just being crazy It's it's a weird fucking drug. I can never imagine me relapsed on coke again. It's been 11 years Oh, really? I can't imagine like people have done it in front of me. It doesn't even Spark a hair or I just can't imagine. Yeah, I can't imagine. It's my favorite thing It was mine also. Yeah, I couldn't Focus

Like I and I still have it's been 11 years, but the anxiety I get at night Was the same anxiety I was getting from what it was time to do coke Mm-hmm, like as soon as it would come into my mind, you'd have to show the 55 Yeah, 755 I was off and running like I had I couldn't even think I Would call him and go over pick it up and they would be in my pocket that will put me at peace Not that I was doing it. I know exactly what you mean if I had it in my pocket It's the security the spirit is is rested now. I'll have to just go to the store and do my spot If I could get away with my spot and then on the way up right off the original room

I would go right into that bathroom. There would not even be a hesitation There would be hey meet me in the bar. No, I would go hold on I got a pee real bad like go right into that bathroom and that was my boom boom boom four bumps Go to the bar get a fucking jack and coke and then what then I wouldn't get fucked up down there Once I do the jack and coke. It was time to go home. I'll finish getting fucked up Like I didn't like getting fucked up. I think in all the years. I was down there snorting coke I think I stayed to drink maybe five times in those 70 years like maybe five times I stayed at night

You got to see everybody else coked up and people got to see you coked up But I had an incident up there earlier where I found out people are watching you up there Yeah, you got to be really careful up there. So I knew not to fuck around. Do you get hung like I Was I'm not I have other issues, but drugs have never been my thing on strong edibles I'll feel a little bit hung over the next day, but if you're doing coke all night How like how do you feel the next day and then like how many nights a week are you doing it? When I was doing first of all, you feel like you want to die the next day You're so hung over you feel like you want to throw yourself out the window and I do coke until I just can't talk anymore

You know what I mean like 16 hours usually for me was like my limit So I'd like drink and do coke for like 16 hours. I'd go home at like 5 p.m. The next day You know sun's still out trying to get a cab in the city No cabs are stopping because it's always rush hour by the time I'm finished and you just feel like you're like fucking Dying the worst is having to take the subway home after a night of doing coke all night when you're coming down I have like the worst come down like Trying to find my way home stories and then you're just like dying and then you take like to zan at bar You know to zan X bars to fall asleep and then you wake up and you do the whole thing over again the next day

So I was doing it like five days a week. I was like a really big party girl in New York I you know, it was like a club person and see who are you commute every night or you lived in this I lived in the city. I went to college in Hawaii at a high school and then I transferred to the city And I went to Pace downtown. Did you really? Yeah, so you went to the University of Hawaii first? Yeah for three years. It was cool, but I was bored after the first year You went down and they get away from this shit. It was the only school I got into I Was I wasn't I was not good at school. I smoked weed and I just like I didn't care about school I got an A80 on my SATs. What major?

Communications, which means I spent a ton of money for nothing. Yeah Yeah, I mean, you know, there were some fun classes in college, but I don't think I needed it When did you decide on stand up? I had always wanted to do stand up It just took me a long time to do it because I was scared, you know Uh, and I first did it when I was 18 But I really didn't start more seriously until like six years ago about And you started in New York you were saying earlier. Yeah, I was doing some mics in New York and and LA And then I moved to LA that year. So what made you move on here? I wanted to do the groundlings

I haven't been there lately. Yeah Well, I have I started doing UCB in New York and then I wanted to switch and do groundlings So I did that for Two years, but then I just switched to stand up because it was just too much for me in the beginning of me Start like wanting to get serious about stand up. I was like, I can't do all these other things I just need to focus right now on stand up. So you compare UCB theater for the comic store Hmm. Well, I did use to be in New York Uh, I didn't do UCB out here. Um, but my experience was that everyone is

supportive of each other I not that everyone is not With stand up, but I do think like You know with improv everyone's clapping all the time after you finish and like everyone like wants you to do better And they all help each other and I do think Obviously is like that in stand up But I also think your friends laugh at you when you bomb in the back, you know what I mean? So there's a little and you're also on your own when you do stand up, you know, you're not working with other people

I personally like to be at doing stand up better. I like to you know, be on my own and not have to like rely on someone else on stage with me and You know, just do that. It's funny because when I got here I thought about going to one of those places like just going just to see And then somebody I think it was paul mooney was like, you're crazy Don't go down there with those people those people whacked up with the education you're getting here But I always believed in like the more broader you were the better you'd be at stand up Just if you just go touch it

And then the improv olympic opened up around the corner for me where I lived in hollywood And I took a few classes in there and I think Midway through the second class. I'm like, I'm not coming in Like I had just gonna fuck this because they used to have a stand-up show at improv olympic This is going back 2006 2005 2004 and I kid you not guys They had an improv they had it was an improv olympic was an improv school on hollywood And koanga down the corner. They used to be an improv school But on friday night somebody talked them into doing stand-up

At 11 o'clock and I gotta tell you something I've been to the store I've been to the lab factory and I've been to the ice house and the In the improv in hollywood all those years and I saw industry nights what they called industry nights I had never seen so many agents like I did that night at the improv olympic and I don't know what they were there to see. Yeah, like there was nothing

outrageous there and I remember walking in they're like, you know, I'm like number eight And when I went up it was like thank god to fucking stand up like people were clapping like they thought I was a magician They thought like I was like jesus. Yeah, you know when I walked off. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And when I stayed to watch it was like improv kids trying to do stand up I have nothing against nobody But it was just a god-awful show right and and I'm like why all these fucking agents here and it made sense That's where they go. They can't be at the improv watching fucking real comedy or the comedy store They got to come here to watch these kids and at the improv olympic. I noticed there was a lot of

rich kids that go there with A dream they don't work They don't do nothing. They just come here. They watch sign out live I think they tell their parents like listen, we want to give them a shot in hollywood And the parents are okay. You got a year on the credit card But if you don't make it then you got to come back and work at the fruit stand or something

It was a lot of those type of guys like they would always go I got six months to make something happen You're like, I've been here for fucking nine years. Nothing's happened. Yeah, how's it gonna happen? What the fuck are you looking for in six months? So I always had a weird way of looking at those places. I thought it was I think that the more classes you took In your head the better you got at something, but I don't really agree with that I think the more you get on stage The more you learn like every time you get on stage you should walk off the stage with something like I made a mistake there. I'll keep that in mind. I made a mistake there

It's like when you go work at a deli the first time you don't get good until you cut for your fucking fingers off You know, yeah stitches one time on that slicer and shit and all that You know, it's the same thing with commie. It's it's you could study it and read about it all you fucking want And you could watch stand up all the fuck you want But it's one of those things that you have to get on stage constantly Absolutely. Why do you think something that I've noticed since I started is that Improv and stand up are very like it doesn't seem like they're connected, but I've done 18 shows where they they do improv based off of your material

Or I've had improv people come into open mics and it seems very different because Well, there is improv and stand up. Right. There's people who could go up there and just wing it Like I could go up there and wing it if you like If you want me to go up there and wing it I'll go up there and wing it every night What you're gonna get is if I do six sets Three of them are gonna be fucking superb And the other three are gonna go. I'm never gonna

Don't rip the ticket up and never go watch stand up again Okay, so I could go up there and improv with the best of that go up there Fresh off the cuff and talk about all the shit we do here Like when we're talking I say all that shit be craziness I can go up there and I get and I'll tell you if I do six of those sets Three of them will be tremendous But the other three will be so fucking bad that you'll never want to see stand up again So I can't take that chance anymore. Right when I first started

I learned how to improvise at the When I first started in in boulder. I tried to be Louis Lamore We all try to be writers But I realized that I couldn't write five minutes every fucking tuesday Like no man, I could write three minutes from tuesday to tuesday But five or seven minutes unless I improvise And then the guy would always tell me do 10. I can't fucking do 10 minutes

But I had to write these are the same the reason why I had to do new material every week is because it's the same people It was the same people who came to this comedy thing. It was moochers who came they would pay 14 95 for prime rib Got a ball of shrimp and all that shit and then they get a comedy ticket So when you walked up on stage you had to get them out of the steak Like they were there to eat the steak. They weren't there for you. They were there for 14 95 for the steak So I would have to go up there first and I bombed for so long In my mind if I just made them lift their head From the steak that was an applause

So I had to give them new material But I shortly after about six or seven months. I realized you know what fuck this material shit I'm just gonna come up here and fuck with them. So for 18 months I did great as a stand-up. I relied on my improv skills which I've been been improvising all my life But when it comes to the nitty gritty that improvising Didn't come back to me. There's times I got like a set list of 40 minutes And you go on stage in the 20 minute mark you improvise for 10 and you're like, oh, shit That I could pull off

But this still has to be the foundation still has to be there. I just can't go out and in new york When you start in new york, you pick up a bad habit and that's 12 of the people That's a bad habit. You mean crowd work. Yeah, really in new york everybody does crowd work. Oh And that's what that's why I really Got into that bad habit I call ground work Crowd work like when you get a rebound and instead of putting it back up You dribble the ball and then you go up now you got five guys on you

When you dribble the ball, you may that you it's a magnet the ball is a magnet So if you put it down five and it's a hard habit to break getting a rebound instead of grabbing and putting it back up Getting a rebound. That's what talking to the audience is because when you come to LA you can't talk to the audience First time an agent goes to see you And you start fucking around with the audience Don't walk right out. Right. Don't what that's when you can see an amateur LA guy and a professional LA guy When people move to town from other like texas. It's chatty A lot of comics that work texas. They're chatty and new york city is definitely chatty. They go right up on stage

How y'all doing tonight? Great. They have a beer in their hand. They're cool Then they put the beer down. They take the mic. What do you do, sir? Oh, you're an electrician. You've been together. They work it from there. Some people are brilliant at it Some people phenomenon, but you're gonna have rough nights And there's some nights that people are like, you know what? We really came to see stand up And like the roughest one I ever saw Was he kept asking the same three questions? Yeah, because he wasn't getting the answers he wanted And it was like 20 minutes and like people around like what's happening? No, that's what I'm saying

I'm like when you have a real show, you can't talk to people and then you have to when you learn When you're at the store, you'll learn quick That you can't talk to people because unless you're rick Well, here's even do it anymore. I don't think he does he does But a lot of people don't like fucking with rick because of that reason because when you follow rick Now that gives those people permission to talk to you So if you want to be a headline and do it, that's good But like as a feature I used to do it that line is pull me aside and we talk to you for a second

Stop talking to Yeah, because now they thought they think they got the right to talk to me Right because it opens it up. They think it's a whole like Q&A thing So go to the store and watch somebody go up That does that rick like rick ingram is good Oh, yeah, he's right. He's good at it. He's been doing it for a long time But if you ask rick pull him aside and go rick a lot of comments complaining about you doing that Couple of them don't like it. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, couple of them don't like it because

You're talking to the audience now every comic that comes up here some fucking idiot's gonna say some So that's the school of thought that when you start I want you to improvise when you're at the fourth wall or Flappers or whatever the fuck you do open mics improvise. I rather you improvise I wouldn't put up with that shit. Yeah I wouldn't put up with that going in and I'm still saying the joke and the joke dying. It's gonna die. It's 18 comics in the room You might as well improvise right working on that muscle Just go up there cold that shit you wrote is not gonna go over at these open mic places. So why are you doing it? You're not gonna get those to real gauge of those jokes and you're in front of a live audience

So I'd rather you bring a tape recorder and just start talking Just start talking and now those three minutes of five that they give you you don't have a minute of pearls Then go home and write it down and go home and write it down and go home and listen and write it down And at the end of the week, that's why they call it working out. You're just talking I'd rather go up there and take a chance and talk like I do at the ice house Then go up there with jokes that I wrote in the try Because I'm gonna be fucking I'm gonna be thinking of those words I rather just talk and then afterward

Chelsea say that line you said was really good right that down and you'll say that line you said was really good right that down It could because I think it's a little different because with improv it's a lot of It's not even crowd work if they ask for suggestions. Yeah. Well, you're creating a scene. It's it's different from like because you're not stand-up is obviously writing jokes and like performing them on stage stand-up is going up with several people and doing a scene It's it's like a whole different It's weird. I saw someone do a one person improv and I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever seen Just by yourself it's uh

UCB and groundlings has great shows though, you know There's a lot of really talented people up there for sure Well, there's a lot of people who Is that the way to go if you were going to move here as an actor and like I want to be the next movie star Like it seems like a lot of the comedic actors come from those places They might not be stand-ups, but they come from that a lot of A lot of actors do stand-up because they think now right which is like because they think that's the thing to do right now

Oh, they got me too. Yeah Or it's like a whole you know So a lot of people just do that stuff to get famous or to put it on there You know a lot of actors are told do an improv class put it on your resume That's what people like to see when you audition for stuff. They make like to yeah. Yeah. Yeah I don't I don't I just don't like I think

I look back now at the 22 years I've been in town and all the fucking scams I thought about doing Like an LA like all the stupid shit because they're all scams like what what do you mean class and breathing And motivational and all that shit's just a scam You know you think about all the scams that they run out there And what these poor kids come out of college and come out here with their parents hard earned dollar And they give it to joe schmoe stand-up school the guys never done a spot in fucking town You know what I'm saying guys never done a spot in fucking town Or they go to an acting coach and just ask for the first take and I see your resume

Let me see your resume I understand you could be like phil jackson phil jackson was a horrible fucking basketball player But he ended up being one of the best coaches of all time. I understand that happens But like I knew an acting guy that was an acting coach. I saw him one time act on a tv show And it was fucking horrendous It was fucking horrendous. Yeah, I was at some people's houses like oh while I'm here My buddy's gonna be on co-case tonight. This ought to be 10 years ago. I put the episode on and it was god awful And this guy today

Is in charge of like a mice in the school somewhere. Oh really? Yeah, like he's the director of the school. I'm like I won't give that fucking mutt money means a nice guy. Yeah, he's a nice guy But what can he teach it? Right? He's booked two guest stars in 30 years. I got a fucking pet monkey That could book two guest pots in two years You know, if you go on a hundred auditions, you're gonna book something. Yeah, right in 20 fucking years I remember even my wife Did acting for a year and she booked fucking international something with a billboard So if you stay in town long enough and you audition

You'll get something somebody'll fucking hire you because you know commercials all you need to Is to fog up the bottom of the glass. It's no There's no real talent in booking a fucking commercial When you think I got a fat guy and he's wiggling with a tie around his stomach and it says fucking You know, penzoil, whatever You know, did he go to act did he go to improv school to learn how to wiggle? Do you bring a coach your ear to go? Okay when you wiggle breathe and let the tire go around you snow You just put the fucking tie. I did this as a kid like

Yeah It's like a fucking hula hoop only heavier, you know, but people really want to have their hands held In this town like they really do I never I don't know. I just never uh When I went to improv olympic And then I went to the store after that improv olympic experience. I said, that's it That's why mitzi calls it university. That's why you go from the belly room to like a paid unpaid regular That a paid regular. There was a system

There was a system and if you want to work there as a doorman You got work there as a doorman too to help with the fucking bills or whatever There were so many options that they gave you just sitting in the back and watching It's incredible. It's incredible. Yeah, just sitting in the back like go do your spots every night Go do your spots Go do your eight o'clock and stand online and flap and then jump up and down some uh, mexican room and in lions gate or whatever that's called, uh, Whatever the fuck off the five or all these guys just not on the way home. You're just going to go home and watch tv anyway

Go get parked by that time 12 o'clock. There's tons of meters on the fucking sunset You're going to sit in the back of the room. I could tell you a comic that I worked with as a fucking host in myrtle beach And he told me when he was hosting because I'm moving to la You're at the store and I go, yeah come by and say hello when you say it to somebody you're like What are his chances of coming by and saying hello? Well that motherfucker came by and said hello like And then you're like, what the fuck are you doing here? And guess what? He never came to me and asked me for nothing He would he go you can you get me a seat inside?

And he would just wait and wait and wait I watched him for a year at night I'd get off the original And his two little eyeballs would be in the back in those days. There was only eight people There wasn't no 600 people on a tuesday night. There was eight people. So I'd always see him Then after six months, he got it. He got a dog job at the comedy store Then I saw him on stage and today that guy's jason lucas Oh, yeah Lucas, you know, now he's married doesn't do stand-up much. He's editing But for a year I saw jason and I would go jason don't you work and he goes I gotta be a working seven

But I come and watch moony every night you yeah, like his he'd come there like a call 11 o'clock 11 30 to sit there till one Just sit in the back. Yeah, it's been an incredible education working there And just getting to watch people every night, you know for five years. Who haven't you seen? I can't die ship. I've seen every I've seen everyone. Yeah, margaret shell. Yeah Silverman. Yeah, I can't think of who No one like off the top of my head I can't think yeah, it's incredible No, it's it and that's why I I like that. I like watching

Like I hate going to a commie store and I sit down and people want to bother me when I'm sitting at missy's row I'm fucking high as fuck And I'm just watching stand-up guy. Yeah, I'm getting into their act like I'm getting sucked in by by them You know when you watch a special on netflix, it's funny, but you're not getting sucked in. It's not the same You're not getting. Yeah, you got to watch it live being sucked in and I knew nothing like before I got on stage I watched zero stand-up live Zero from 50 yards I saw Dave chappelle and that black dude

In 1982 at washington square park when there'd be a circle around Dave chappelle Really and the other guy that he started the main guy was charlie barnett That was the main guy, but chappelle would be his understudy. He was like 15 When you talk to chappelle next time bring up charlie barnett his eyes light up. That's his mentor. Wow charlie barnett Was supposed to be on a sat night live Benny murphy took a spot because charlie couldn't read But if charlie could read there'd be no any murphy Yeah, that's how good charlie was in fact. He was just on the other night

I was strolling to the channels and that movie was on and I was I came on for a bit and I had to leave and I laughed my ass Well, I forget what he's on a movie with mr. T And it was on like bt the other night late night Well, no, that was like like 8 30 quarter nine And I and I asked my wife I go Put stop that for a second dc cab dc cab I haven't heard of that and I laughed my ass off watching him. Remember mr. T But charlie barnett was the one that was supposed to be the next big thing. He died hiv and everything

He was the real deal. Wow. He was a junkie. He was a fucking hiv but a heroin guy and he was the one that You know would let I guess dave chappelle would come up from dc To new york on the weekends or every day and charlie barnett would just go You know watch the square park is he would just go off there like there was those little uh Arches the arches right by the arches there. You know that there's dead bodies buried under washington square park

Used to be did you know that? No. Yeah, it used to be like a it used to be a cemetery That's there's like thousands of dead bodies buried under washington square park, but it had to be a cemetery like in 17 Yeah, but still It's gross in my hometown. There's thousands of cemeteries really like my hometown north berg in new jersey Uh-huh a bridge there right over the tunnel They got tons of cemeteries and I remember if you take the fence by the projects by 60 58th street there used to be a fence and it would cut you through the 46th street So we would take that fence one night I take a shit in the funeral in the cemetery

It's a night freddy prince died and I had to take a shit this how all the I'm an old man people know freddy prince jr I'm talking about freddy prince senior. He killed himself like in 77 78 79 one of those years he killed himself and I was walking home And I remember going man. I got to take a shit and it was fucking freezing out And I pulled my pants down, but I double checked on the grave Because I go how what if this guy just got buried. Yeah, would you wipe out flowers bags? There was a bunch of brown bags that people had I took as many as I could it was fucking freezing out

I was a kid eighth grade. I didn't know and I pulled my pants to the front and I shit But I peed in my pants. Oh my god. I went to put the pants back on they were frozen. No, I had a walk home How long was that walk? 20 minutes 30 minutes felt like an hour But when I looked at the it wasn't even a tombstone. It was uh two sticks put together like But they had been like finished like it was good wood and it said like 18 22 to 18 99. I'm like, what do I give a fuck? He's not having any visitors He has that visitors in fucking year. Yeah, they had one part of the cemetery that was really old

But they but then there's another building what they built on and they said there was a cemetery underneath and the buildings having problems now Really? Yeah, and yeah, they have a lot of problems in LA or New Jersey Jersey right there creepy because all those things along the river All like with George Washington fought the Indians like if you go to Fort Lee the other side of the bridge is where you're from Yeah, Westchester Westchester is the other side of the bridge if you go on that Fort Lee bridge and you walk off church Washington and you go underneath there's a park if you've been to that park There's a little stroll park there They have all the cannons and cannonballs from George Washington. Oh, I think I went on a class trip

Yeah, you have to walk up that hill you walk under the bridge and you cross the street you you cross uh Not patty pass and plank road you cross whatever that's river road Whatever that turn where Riverdale is River Road, but is that Riverdale? No Fort Lee. Okay. It's in Fort Lee, New Jersey The bridge is in Fort Lee So right underneath there is where uh You there's a little trail and you could eat lunch at the top and they have those things where you could put quarters in Yeah, the city and shit. They have like three of them. It's small But not use

Where haven't you taken my shit? You have a story of shitting. Yeah, but I didn't take a shit in the Fort Lee thing I went to Fort Lee to smoke a joint. I would walk back from the bridge and then walk underneath it be a sunny day And you could go up there roll a joint just smoke and look at the New York skyline Where's the weirdest place you took a shit? Uh, um, I haven't yeah, I I don't think I'm shit outside. I don't believe I almost shit I came I came close once in a john's grocery store John yeah, I almost I had like, you know when you're walking and you have to stop walking for a few minutes Just pretending like you're looking at something like in the middle of an aisle. That was the worst in the middle of an aisle

Yeah, I just I like it was like if I move i'm gonna shit. That was the worst one that I can think of But I I I I was a kid. I had a bedwetting problem. So I went beds. I never did all the time I went bed for a couple of years. Oh, yeah. Oh Really, you never did. No, isn't that weird? I couldn't go to sleepovers Oh, that sucks. How old are you when you stop? 13 something like that. Oh, yeah Like I wouldn't drink at night. It was terrible. Do you still when you drink? No, well, I don't drink that much, but uh It's been a few years

It's been if every once in like I've had the dreams once where you think you're like you're like, oh And then you wake up and then there's pee Um But it's been like I had a plastic mattress for a while as a kid. It was not good They ever beat you for paying. No, I don't take it away. Have you ever hooked up with a squirter? Yes, once but you weren't bothered by it. I loved it. Yeah, because you felt Yeah, fuck. Oh, you had something in common your face. No, I didn't know what was gonna happen. So I just did Did you drink the squirt juice? No, I didn't drink. No, it just it I'm not gonna do the joke

I have about it, but just it came out onto the sheets Yeah, and then we knew we only hooked up. I think uh that one time But I would love I would love if I knew like I would love steady girl who squirted That would be great. But you wouldn't drink the juice anyway I'm not gonna drink it like with a straw, but if it comes out while you're fingering at eating a pussy It squirts. Yeah, you open your mouth like like a water fountain. Like hummus is coming You do everything like you treat hummus you be in good shape. You know that If you eat ass and a pussy like that you first of all, it's a hummus

Ass is disgusting. I don't care what you do. I'm with you. So I'm not into eating ass I we're like the only people I love that was hummus. No, it's not. Are you she's married? She don't need to eat ass no more. I know he wants me to yeah, she don't need to eat ass. Yeah, but she might want her ass eaten I don't it tickles. Thank you. She loves I don't know about that That makes even worse every woman loves a tongue in their ass. I don't I swear. I don't feel special You put two finger louis in that pussy. You lick that asshole that it's brand new They're like, okay. I can live with this. It don't take all that much Yeah, I don't know. Oh my god

Yeah, uh Yeah, no, thank you. I don't want I don't that's disgusting But squirt squirting would be awesome. I had a weird one. It didn't it didn't spray It kind of just was like like the chicken dirt the chicken. I don't I didn't see that No, why would you watch that you were too busy watching orange is the new purple Like in dirt when Tommy Lee's eating the girl Oh, yeah, yeah dirt. He brings all those people to his party. Yes the chick just sits down. He starts eating the pussy He's like, guys, you ready? You ready? He pulls his head away

He starts fucking shooting water. Oh, shit. I had a party That's a great party. I like a fucking party. So it's pretty amazing. I've never done it I squirted. Yeah, I don't think I can can you become a squirter. I don't know. Well, okay So, you know how there's like these sex parties and an la there's this place called sanctum. Have you ever heard of it? Yeah, quickly told us about it. Oh, she of course she did I went to one when I first moved here just to like check it out and uh and a cop came to like check out like the room and We were in a room with like one of the cops and like some other people and I was like, oh, yeah

I can't score and the cop the cop was like I'll I'll I'll bet that you can and he tried to like finger me in front of like a couple of people there. It was crazy Uh, but it didn't work. Oh, but I think it's weird that the the cop who was on duty Like came there to participate. Are you sure it was just not a guy in like a fake costume or something? Probably that's hysterical What is the sex party like like that? Like is that a good part? Really? Yeah, it was first of all like no one there was hot and half the people were in masks and the other half should have been like It and it was like everyone was just like trying to be cool. It was like a want to be eyes wide shut kind of thing

But uh, yeah, like there was people who were like having sex in one room but it was very theatrical and it felt like very forced and like uh, there was like another girl who was um Wearing a horse mask who was fucking a girl with a strap on who had a Marie Antoinette Costume on it was like trying too hard. Yeah, that sounds like a mushroom trip. That sounds it was weird But it was an experience in the city and you know, that's the only one I ever went to here on LA. Yeah Now what was the one in New York City? I was play those retreats. Oh, I haven't I've been to one called was when you attend Yeah, that was when you attend that shit. That's that that's a creepy name though. It's always some weird name

When I was growing up, it was play those retreat. I never went there. Yeah, I'm not gonna tell you I went there. I never went there but I heard And it was creepy like I heard yeah friends of mine that were animals Which just wasn't for them. That's not big what I'm from that Sex clubs and all that shit like people were just like what the fuck I I've always I've been to two sex things and nobody was good looking right no one's hot there And you think a new beach one time. Oh god Where nobody Jamaica. Yeah, I mean nobody nobody was there that you want to see naked you even turned your head

Sometimes you like Jesus It was a movie that I quit I just said I can't I can't this is disgusting It was the newest they shot This movie I did was a legit movie But they shot it at a nude resort Huh, what was that? You're eating breakfast So i'm driving in I just get picked up at the airport and it looks like a bomb hit it

This town. Yeah, there's these chickens. They're skinny The mcdonalds had like no burgers like they had a sign that said no burgers. I don't know what the fuck was going on So it's on mcdonalds. It was a horrible place And I spent the one night That night I heard a bunch of fucking When I got there, I can't lie to you guys. I was a little excited Yeah, I can't go maybe somebody to suck your dick or something right there was nobody there that you even wanted to touch your dick Yeah, I mind suck it. I think the idea of all those kind of places are so much better than when you actually get there

Right, that's good because you want it to be like a like a movie like some hot fucking thing and everyone's good looking And they're all doing crazy stuff But then it's just like lame weird people Yeah, I guess you already have you or if you're good looking already having said josh wolf had a a bar in seattle lobo loco That's how I gotta show you something mind me to tell you let's show you something so josh wolf had a Bar that he ran it was called lobo loco and on wednesday nights. They had pervert night or whatever

fetish night Okay, yeah, pervert night and he would pay me 50 bucks to stand outside and check id's and shit And I would never go downstairs like the bar was the bar and this was downstairs And one night there was somebody and I went downstairs and it was Hard, what did you see? I saw a chick that had to be 25 pounds heavier than I am right now Now With her pierce clip like a clip. Yeah, like fucking like uh, it was like an inch to roller And I mean nobody I'm not trying to be rude or mean. I'm just trying to be honest

Nobody you watch dice is for a special no when he goes i'm looking at her by the wall She's holding it up Nobody's nobody's ever thought of fucking her she walks over with a trim little mustache Sideburns that was what this girl looked like she had sideburns like Uh, some girls look cute and they have like the head down. She really had like sideburns She had hair on her neck. Oh, she a pussy looked like they had been shot. Yeah cannonball It was huge and these guys were like kissing her neck And they were like putting like fucking aerosol cans in a pussy. Whoa, really? Yeah, it was a

Disgusting place and it was blowing her out the long Like women's aquanet. It was like long tube But the thinner ones like uh, yeah, yeah the shaving cream gel Barbasol gel gel not the big one the skinnier one They're putting it in the gel in or the bottle the bottle the bottom of it They're just rubbing it in a pussy and she was the guys were dirty The chick was filthy her feet They were hiding on top of a pool table. It's like they walked her from fucking oregon

To seattle her feet were black, you know, it just none of that shit really turns me on man I could see a girl. That's pretty with dirty feet. That's kind of cute all day I know exactly what you're talking about. Heals are a little dirty. Yeah, this six feet was just dirty Yeah, and all these white guys were around to suck in a flappy tits like she had a kid somewhere in her life I think it was just terrible. Yeah, and then me Tripoli Jason t-bow

At the store some night a guy came in one night and he offered us a bunch of money to shoot uh Girls gone wild Uh-huh only It was something different. It was like girls go fucking crazy. Yeah, I think it was me triply t-bow dunking Dunking and we had to go somewhere in the hills. They wouldn't let us take our phones They had we had a drive up there like they had to pick us up We were gonna stick the first bus back was at nine So they wanted to stand up a uh

Stand up music and fucking Live fucking while you're on stage And it was you can make them laugh who's listening to the fucking set It was something and they hired professional models white girls escorts White girls, okay, that thought they were going to shoot a movie Girls got up there They were like, what's going on and all of a sudden this fucking pig's getting fucked and this guy's hitting her on the diving board

So we're all there's a hut. There's a pool. That's gorgeous. It's like, you know, what's up here? Like when you go in the lower canyon that side street, I gotta pass it to moholland There was up there with white people rich, you know, nice house They had rented it from somebody for the day like some couple Like go to malibu. We're just gonna have like a little party and film it No, they filmed this fucking disgust fest. Now. I'll never forget that out again. You're anxious. You're like Let's see what these porno chicks look like and awesome. We're sitting there talking to us in here. Uh, Uh, we look over and

This dude is fucking this chick. He's a three She's a six. Yeah, she's a not a ten, but she's a six But do you want me to tell you what the creepiest thing was? her husband Was three feet from you know like that and he's like going fuck a good Fuck a good put in a fucking mouth. You come in put in a fucking ass and The wife and then afterward after she'd been come on and spit on and fucked They're like hanging out like swap and spit. She's naked

He tried to take his clothes off and people like put the jacket back on It was it's a different world. It's not you know, we talk about stories here. Shit that happens at the economy store Somebody starts your dick somebody eats your pussy. That's one thing But to live in that fucking world is just something else like everything's real cool. No, it's not cool. She's 100 pounds It's it's not cool. She deserves to be somewhere else drop her off at the la zoo She's don't deserve to be you know what I'm saying like people don't want to see that some people But the funny thing was there was a girl there that was really pretty and when I was on stage I was looking at her face when she heard my stand up

And all these ugly people around her fucking she was like from uc berkeley Like if I had a picture her she had grown up in a nice family. They had money She probably never got fingered till she was 19 You know, she's like she sucked dick But afterward she takes the hair out and she cries and that's not what she wanted to do in her life Is give a blow job Such a backstory from just seeing her Just seeing her I could tell yeah because she was looking at me with hate in her eyes

And then she would look around at the couple You know, there was people fucking on trampolines Whoa by six that's hard by six or seven o'clock. There was probably six or seven couples fucking I'm not saying that I'm mel Gibson or some looking Nobody did you want like you look over and watch them fucking go? Oh God like it was just disgusting. So you didn't stand up in the daytime and there were people fucking We did stand we did a set to open up the show Then like a band came for a while and people were fucking during the band

And we had like a three hour breather and then we had a duar show like it's seven Oh my god, and then after that we were free the whole night to just they gave us 20 joints apiece. They gave A thousand bucks apiece. Yeah, but it wasn't worth it. Like what I saw will stay with me forever. Yeah It was just disgusting. Like I don't know. I'm crazy and buck wild but that was Really never one of my Yeah, I went to a party at Sasha grit, you know Sasha gray I know the name she she used to be a pretty big porn star And I went to a party at her house in the hills and there was just like 10 of us 15 of us

And it was a couple porn stars and some like dudes from italy and it was chill and then One of the girls who was one of the porn stars. They had like a homemade Sibian machine Jesus, which is you know, like a motorized Like dildo that just like goes like that and then they convinced one of the girls to just get on the floor at the party It was just like everyone was normal until you know, they brought out the machine and then they all couldn't handle it And then she was just like getting fucked in front of all of us at the party and then they turned on the strobe light And it was just weird Especially like 10 people that's even it was weird and I don't know and her boyfriend was there too and he was just like

That I actually just got hit up hit up on tinder by a woman in her in her profile says I'm married like but I'm polyamorous I'm like She wants that means she wants to have you over with her husband No, I'm not I would never go to with her highly that that's what I'm worried about Yeah, it's like I don't want a husband to get mad and like find out where I live He probably wants to watch that sounds disgusting Watch league doing this thing with his little red face I'm not gonna eat her ass. He would go eat her ass and you go. No, I can't I don't want to I don't want to

Yeah, you know, I love you because of your stand up. You know, I love that you're a hustler Uh That night at the store, you got me a lot of trouble When I put you up when I was hosting that night, all the girls got mad at me. Are you talking about potluck? Yeah, I only did it once that's ridiculous. That was the worst night of my life. Those girls aren't funny. Sorry I'm not naming names, but they would just There's one of them that's still to this day won't talk to me Yeah, they're but they're great those girls are crazy and they're not like comics. You know what I mean? It was crazy like

the Back in the old time, you know mitzi told you like I would just blame it on mitzi. Yeah No, like mitzi said no, this is who she wants and they would go fuck You know that night was like, hey, you got to put a girl up. I go like I'm putting girls up And then when I started putting girls up guys got mad at me. Hey, you're putting too many girls up really? Yeah, and then it was like I'm like, oh Am I running this fucking thing who's running this thing and it was just names coming out everywhere

No, no, no, you can't put him up. You got to put her up. You know what? I don't want none of this bullshit Potluck is crazy potluck is crazy for those of you Who don't know potluck is every monday night used to be sundays too at the store And that's when all the employees and friends and family go up to you know, like 40 comics, but There's always people that are hovering over the host and like people always get mad every time like I've hosted Three times I think there's always someone who's going to be mad at you You just have to ignore it and fucking enjoy your night and

You know One thing I like about you like that. You're married. I like that. You're beautiful. Thank you like that. You're funny You have all this stuff for you But then I you have some edge to you I do like you're the real fucking deal Yeah, it's a rough patch in your life and you help people out and yeah very sweet and I've heard that about you like more than once Really? Yeah, like they're like bro. She's the real deal. Have you heard about it? I'm like, no

Nothing tells me nothing I've had a crazy life and then you were talking about the coax for now Because I never thought you even did drugs. I've never seen you in a negative light whatsoever Like, you know, you've always been smiling. You know, I know you were dating Randolph for a while. I'm like, that's the best-looking couple I've ever seen. Thank you. There's a couple at the store the best cooking couple She's like, who is he? Then I saw you guys online. I'm like, wow, she's working on me I'll show it to you then you posted something. She goes. She is pretty. What do you see a fucking husband? I

Would die I go, you know, because I know your husband from to jiu jitsu school. I know. Yeah He said that you guys used to what is it called? Scrap? I don't know. Scrap roll. Yeah, your husband's a great guy. Yeah When did you get crazy? How old are you? I've been crazy my whole life. I was always like very hyper I started drinking when I was 10 Um, you know, any brothers in the system. I had an older brother two years older than me, but I I don't know. I just like was like a crazy kid. I was always very wild. I always got in trouble at school I was always in the principal's office like starting in second grade like, you know how Santa Claus visits

The school and you have an assembly for Christmas when I got on his lap I pulled his beard off and I screamed to everybody. He's fake. He's fake Because I I wanted to ruin Christmas. Like I was crazy from the start from elementary school. What'd your parents think? I I was just always going to the principal's office and they were disappointed in me. So then I was like, okay Well, I'm a bad kid. So I'm gonna keep being a bad kid. This is what I am And I you know, and I just didn't I truly did not give a fuck and I'm You know in the best sense like I'm just trying to get back to that place on stage now

You know what I mean? Because I feel like when you're younger you truly do not give a fuck And I really was that way, you know, I was class clown and all that and uh And then like I got cute, you know when I was like 15 and people started treating me different so I started kind of like you know Putting it on a little bit and like my persona changed a little bit, but I've always had like A hard edge, you know started smoking weed when I was 12 I smoked weed every day until I got sober when I was 26. No pills. You said, you know, I didn't really like pills

I liked coke. I actually got sent away to boarding school when I was 15 in switzerland For doing coke too much at school. So they're like, we'll just send you away But they sent me to europe where there's no drinking age. So I would just buy coke off the street from people In switzerland, they sell coke on the street They wrap it up in plastic wrap and they keep it in their mouth and you go up to people and you're like bomba bomba which is coke and

in uh italian And I was there crazy you copped coconutly. Yeah all the time Yeah, I was I I got alcohol poisoning in switzerland and like fell out of like a boat in like the middle of the lake And like had to be rescued by people. I was I was always like I don't know. I was just always getting fucked up and crazy and I was a stripper For three years, which was crazy. I started in hawaii and then I finished in new york And how was that? It was fucking crazy It was it was crazy and I was like parting really hard and

My dad's friend caught me doing it in new york two of my two separate times My dad's friend like one guy was like recognized me at scores And I was like, please don't tell my dad and he was like, this is so sick He was like, if you give me a dance, I won't tell him And then when I took off my dress, he goes you look just like your mom Isn't that fucked up? Yeah, and then the other guy

told my dad Who caught me his other friend because it was like, you know, I lived in new york and everyone New york city is big, but it's small. What years were this? This was everybody goes to scores Yeah, except me. I've never been to. Oh really? I've never been to school. Yeah now they have uh scores west that was on scores west the old one used to be on the Upper east side where all the mafia shit was going on and then I think mayor Giuliani shut that down for a while And yeah, they showed it down completely. They moved it to the west side And then what opened up in that place was sapphires

On the east side little scores history Um, but it's crazy that I did that because people hear that today and they would they're like really you did that Yeah, but I I'm a completely different person today But I definitely how are you completely different than when you were 21? You're 31 now, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah my act that yes when people People change completely different fucking change like, you know, I get I still know you're crazy. Yeah, but you're not that crazy But it's still there like I'm still crazy. I'm not crazy when I was 25. Yeah 27 crazy 30 crazy, but I'm still crazy. Yeah, how do you see your change from then?

So first of all, I completely led with my sexuality then, you know I you know, I was an overly sexual person. I you know hooked up with like anyone Uh, you know, I'd go to parties like high on coke and like show people my boobs You know what I mean? I was like that chick And stay up all night and like be high and like all I did was go out to clubs and I wasn't working hard at all You know, I had dreams of wanting to you know, be a writer do stand up Be an actor, you know, all the things I'm pursuing right now But I was just unable to accomplish those things because I was an addict

so I I just you know, my thing was just you know, waking up and partying until the next day and That was it and I'd think about what I want to do and talk about it high on coke But I just you know, basically had to burn out and hit hit a bottom You know with partying and then once I was able to get sober was I able to Start focusing on the things that I feel like I was put on this earth to do You know my dreams in life and you know, I had no ambitions when I was getting fucked up I mean, I had things I wanted to do

It was impossible like I was doing that. So um, you know, I'm a very hard worker today. I don't lead with sexuality I mean when I first moved here, I did the dumbish like I I used to do like all those You ever see these girls who do these photo shoots on instagram? Like they wanted like just like these slutty photo shoots Like uh, yeah, the big thing like it's like it's a whole thing They they go to the gym and they do squats, but it's just like literally the camera's just on their ass and yeah It's like it's like you say I'm like I wanted to do comedy when I moved out here But my friend was like, oh if you do photo shoots with guys, you know guys who have cameras photographers

And then they like you post the pictures like you'll get followers and I was like, oh, okay So I thought I was taking these funny sexy photos, but it's like that's not how you fucking Do, you know, that's not how you do comedy. That's you have to get on stage and write jokes But it's like you're doing all these other things thinking that's how you're gonna get ahead You just have to sit down and do the work And not be a fucking asshole So I mean I it's like a complete 180, you know, I have to grow up and grow out of all these things Well, I mean, there's a lot of guys who I think listen to the show. Yeah

And I they might tell you there's a good problem to have but like what is it like being a pretty girl? Is it is there just so much stuff being thrown at you and Like is it hard to almost like you say, okay, let me do actually do the work Yeah, um, well to be honest, okay, so my whole life, you know, I was kind of like just a person who like smoked weed I was like a tomboy growing up But then when I got hot when I was 15 and people started treating me differently I started acting differently So I'd say from like 15 to like 25 like I was acting like a dumb slut

And I can look back on that and say that and I'm disappointed but in myself But whatever it is what it is. I have the awareness of change as a person I'm not like that. It's all good. I've been through a lot to different phases of my life Um, but basically like you you know, you just act like you're entitled You know, you're used to getting free shit And you think you can do whatever act however like exactly what guys say that that girl is hot She thinks she fucking could get everything for free. Yeah, because she knows she can and I and I wrote that and you know, and I was just like a party girl and um

And I don't think that I think it's the way that you carry yourself if you don't carry your if You know if you have self-worth and self-respect people aren't going to treat you like that So I had to build my self-worth and self-esteem and You know self-respect for myself and stop dressing like a hoe and posting crazy photos if I want to be seen as a comic and Work hard and you know not flirt with fucking people for shit and just do the work and not expect anything And that's like where I've you know, that's the huge change I've made of my life and the hat and that makes it makes Me happy to work for things. I don't want to fucking

Get handed dick. What was rock bottom? I'd say well when I hold you how do you when you think you hit rock bottom? What was your well? I'd say with getting sober. I was 25 26 you go to rehab I didn't and I wish I did but my parents didn't fucking send me and I feel like please send me and they're like no Just go to a a or you know 12 step programs. So that's what I did. I just started going to 12 step programs Was it harder for us to get sober? How many times did you try and fail? um

A bunch. Yeah, I relapsed a bunch in the beginning because it's like I didn't know You could not smoke weed and be sober or like you can't take xanax. So I had to kept restarting my sober date um, but my life started really changing and um And it's like you're giving you know for someone who's like an addict You're giving yourself a chance to finally live because you're not like living in reality When you're getting fucked for me at least when I'm getting fucked up all the time So, you know being sober is like a completely different. I'm like in the world sort of thing

But yeah bottom was just I was just doing way too much coke if I had a sip of alcohol I had to have coke You know what I mean the second the alcohol like hits your body. I had that chemical that gets created Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah Yeah, so I had to have coke and basically I was just doing too much of it and I felt myself physically breaking down from it Like my heart would be racing a lot. I was going to the hospital a lot having to get my heart rate lowered And I was like I just can't do it anymore um

And then the bottom with all that other shit was just like it just you know You do stuff until it just doesn't work anymore And then you're like what the fuck am I dealing with my life? This is not the life. I was meant to live. I want these other things. I have to make a change Now uh What did your dad say when your friend went down? So bad. I feel so bad. He he texted. No, this is the shit. No, I know I know no totally

He texted me and said you just broke my heart I told him, please don't tell my dad and then I get a text at 4 a.m. That says you just broke my heart And I just you know, I went out and did coke all night. That's you know, that's what I do You know what I mean, uh, but you know in sobriety I made an amends to him You know in 12 step programs you have to make amends to people and I sat across from him in a room And I said, I'm sorry for being a stripper and for putting you through all that stuff and You know, it was actually like a really nice moment When you make amends to people some people you don't know if how people are going to react and the people

You don't think it's going to be a big deal to it's always like the people who appreciate it the most And then you realize oh, I put these people through so much shit And now it's like a living amends to you know, I talked to my dad on the phone the other day and he said You know me me and your mom were so proud of your work ethic. You work so hard and like That's the person I am today and they like, you know The daughter I was supposed to be for them kind of thing. It seems like a phase you went through and then Yeah, yeah, I went through a lot of phases. It's so weird when I got out of the prison. I was clean You know and I joke around in the podcast and shit, but I really gave it a go

I'm not gonna lie to anybody. I gave it like a 10-day go And They You had to go to the groups and the halfway house the first week you weren't allowed to leave until you had Meetings for jobs and shit like that and the only other thing you could leave for is for meetings So I got hip to that and I started going to meetings. So I would go to meetings to lie to myself I'm not gonna lie to anybody. I would just go to meetings and sit there in daydream and say look at these fucking idiots But I remember after the first week

Somebody hugged me At a meeting I started hugging people and for the first time in a long time I felt good And I remember us naturally any time somebody was good. We had to make a bet Like as a cokehead, you got to make it bad like when something is good can't be Like I got we got to ruin this shit. Hey, joey. We really like what you did today. Oh, fuck that I got to come in late tomorrow to ruin that Good guy image, you know

But I still remember leaving that like I've gone to like four meetings in a week like four days straight And it was because I had to take a bus to north boulder and take a bus back to north boulder I would see my girlfriend or I would stop and see one of my friends And you know, I knew the bus routes, but I don't know like after four meetings that sunday Walking outside and going that feels really good. You know, I'm really doing something good in my life, but You know how that goes, yeah, and then I was snoring and going to the meetings right like I wasn't snoring and going to the meetings I wasn't that disrespectful I would go to meetings to have an excuse to get hot and then on the way back from the meeting

I would get on I feel really bad saying that today, but it's a true, you know A lot of people go through those steps. There's a lot of people listen to the show that are going through those steps right now those first it's really hard to Fuck up in the beginning because you don't know what you feel like you've never really had that feeling of just being totally sober Like it's so weird. We fuck around here from time to time We'd have like it into something every six months or something, but cocaine I respect it now now like watch all these shows over the years about marcos and

Everything I suspected about the 80s was true. You know, this is all our government fucking our own people You know, they knew about the coke they knew it You know when they realized there was billions of dollars that they just became partners with these fucking guys And now people who grew up in the 80s People grew up in the late 70s. There's a lot of people fucked up whenever I talk to my friends in jersey We always end that conversation like you may not be working, bro, but you're not this guy Like for every 10 guys I went to school with this six people Today they're fucked up in their 50s. Like they've never recovered from that

They never recovered from that. And I thank god I stopped when I did like thank god Like 11 years ago. I stopped Don't know rehab. No, none. I just did the same thing you did. I can't This can't keep happening. I was trying to stop for about two years. You know, there's a rehab on sunset, right? Between the fucking smoothie place and la Brea Right across from hollywood high school. There's a there's a diamond there and it's like an AA type rehab facility It's all outpatient. Yeah, there's a bunch. Yeah, you could sign up like I signed up

Yeah, I signed up that thing. It went to like three meetings But they wanted too much like not money They wanted too much commitment from a guy like me to be sober and I was like fuck that Yeah, you know, I'm still gonna get high once a week and how can you do AA and get a high way? You know what I'm saying like that. Yeah, our junkie fucking mind working, you know But I'm happy you made amends with your parents like I look at my daughter and I'm like, what the fuck She's fucking six last night. She walked into karate and she told the karate teacher rock me like a hurricane And my daughter scorpion. Yeah, and she looks at me the teacher

She goes she gets this from you and I go no, I don't know where the fuck she heard that song You know, they got him in all these movies now all these movies have music I was I was into the other day. I was listening to fucking I wasn't listening to it. I have serious. So I have like, you know, uh studio 54 trunk nation I got a bunch of shit on there and he had there that's physical was on by living newton john That song came out in 1981. She was singing in the back Out of light. I go, how the fuck you know this song and she goes hit someone in my movies I'll show you tonight that night sure enough

She showed it to me and some monsters ink or something like that. Wow. She doesn't know it's Olivia newton john You don't know who the fuck it is. Yeah, but just the fact that she knows that song But she knew rocky like a hurricane. Yeah, here I am. She actually told the teacher here. I am rocky like a hurricane I looked she looked at me. She gets this from you. I don't know where she got that from Could be in her mother's car. You can't talk in front of my daughter. She's a fucking parrot Sure, maybe whatever the fuck you say Do you know I put a bruce lee movie on for because we're going to shin yoon this week So she's all things china. That's how I got it for the chinese restaurant last night

She's all things china. So the other night I couldn't sleep From this fucking flu and I got up and I watched bruce lee had just started I go, look at this a bitch There's a perfect night bruce lee's on enter the dragon and I was watching and they showed all the boats and she like I gotta stop this right now and tape this So I taped it for it and the next day we got home. We're talking about china. I got some point I put the bruce lee movie on. Oh my god. She went fucking apes shit

Kicking around There's a scene Where she fights she's six And I just want I take a movie tie over there because like she got punched in the face yesterday First of all, she lost two teeth this week. She got no teeth over there. She got the Dracula look And these two are about to go out and one of them here is missing. She's lost six or seven so far Yesterday the kid punched her right here and I could see her go down a little bit and she really wanted to cry But I saw her de ass take off her valve. That's not even the de ass

I saw that she came and block in the face Then she threw a fucking straight punch at his face and I go That's the valve that's that angle that's the little she wanted to really cry I put her in there so she's not scared. If I die if something happens to me, she'll never be scared She'll know how to take a punch So I put this bruce lee thing on here. Then he's fighting his bodyguard the fucking hans bodyguard Do you know she stood there and mimicked All of bruce lee's moves and then she would go put it put it run it back run it back

So I could throw that move and then she kept saying kick him in the eye And bruce lee kicked the guy in the eye. She goes I told you was gonna kick him in the eye I thought oh my god, that's so cute. So I'm sitting there thinking what kind of fucking savage is this gonna be? You know like what? What kind of savage it's like the other night she said to me and I I go I gotta go for a stress test tomorrow. They're gonna stick needles in me. She's like you gotta face your fears She goes you can't be scared daddy. You gotta face your fears. You gotta go in there I go, yeah, I want to be around to see you be 20 at least and she goes she'll be around

Because you ain't going nowhere and I was laughing. I'm like, I wouldn't want to see you when you're 20 Scares to call it scares to shit out of me. Yeah, like I'm trying to I'm trying to raise but you're gonna have those things. She's gonna hear about addictions You know, I try to write in a notebook for every day. Like that's why I asked you about your dad Like what's your relationship now with him beautiful? Yeah, it's like nothing happened Yeah, I mean like, you know, I still feel bad about putting him through that experience You know that text you just broke my heart, you know, what about your mom? How did she say through all this? um

she She knew I I was surprised that she didn't really say anything. My parents are very okay. So my parents Were pretty crazy themselves. Like they went to 54 every night My dad loves quailudes. Like I have so many funny videos. What did that do for a living? He worked in fashion right now. He's kind of retired. He's 70. So he doesn't really just kind of chills But he worked in fashion for a long time. He was a buyer My mom was a model when they met

And then she raised us and um, but they you know when they were like laid back like party people You know, uh, they never told me that they did but I I thought they did 54 you had no choice. I know I know I know Yeah, I know that my dad loved quailudes though. He talks about them all the time. Yeah, they're the best drug ever fucking made Yeah, I obviously never did them I hear sometimes people say you can get them from mexico But i'm sure it's not like the real thing or if it's even possible. I don't understand the chemistry I just don't know if they're the same thing as the rarism with the lemons had in them

That studio 54. Did you ever did you go there? I went there after the hate day. Okay Like I got there in 84 83 It was on that that big window that real studio. Yeah, they went there every night like they parted the line for them They say no when they went up to the door. It's funny. They have a podcast Oh, I think I heard that studio 54 the the serious channel Has a podcast on sunday nights And it's a 50 50 podcast. It's either really really bad top Out sheer something sheer and the bartender from studio 54. So it's the original

Guest list maker richie. No, isn't there guy? No, maybe it's the original guest list The chick was the one who made the guest list every night And the guy was a bartender and they interview people who went to studio 54 And I've we used to do our park we do our podcast a lot on sundays I don't know how many times i've sat outside for 10 minutes just howling Or tears running down my face from a story that they told Like there was this one couple And he there were dentists. She was a dentist and he was a dentist

And they had kids and they told their story that they would they went to studio five nights a week. Yeah Like that was what we did. No, we didn't go anywhere else. We didn't go to this place or this place They would go to studio at 11 And stay till five and then come home Get the kids bring them downstairs to the house. They lived with their mother, you know, new jersey Yeah, it was like a brooklyn. It was like two story houses where you live upstairs and your parents live downstairs They would just drop the kids off on the way down. So we feed the kids The whole thing they would take a nap till 10. Yeah, put the kids to sleep at eight

Take a nap till 10 and the 10 o'clock get dressed go to studio till five go home Feed the kids then they would send the kids to school with the Grandmother and then they would both go to sleep till about two and go be dentists from two to five. Damn. Hi They never said they never probably using but it was really interesting because they were talking about like people that had seen that And she was saying that for years She was invited to sit with Liza Manelli And that one day after a couple years Liza Manelli said by the way, what is it that you do? She goes i'm a dentist Liza Manelli said what the fuck are you talking about? I thought you were a pr

Because you know they she was telling the story about bob hope getting tied up Bob hope I don't know that everybody went to studio 54 I really went there just to look at it. Paul Castellano from the Gambino's Everybody went to studio 54 just to look at and they said one night bob hope came and the guy the owner said go tie him up And a bunch of chicks took those strings and just started putting zip ties not zip ties those like You know get rid of the balloons like the strings that balloons like Like when there's a party people throw that lace up that fucking confetti confetti type when they ran around And they rolled around them all these chicks just kept running around bob hope until his arms were pinned

Like and bob wasn't doing blow and they said that's why they went to goof on bob But they go yeah, they had bob on the dance floor. Yeah fucking bob hope Like those stories about this is documentary now on netflix. It's not bad It didn't look good. I didn't want but it's not bad. Yeah, it's not the best But it's not bad. It's it's interesting at least to look at What people how they lived in those days like that was their life studio 54 They slept four hours a fucking night and they ran they did quay lutes. They did drugs. I can't even think about it But yeah different strokes with different fucking folks, man

There was this incredible place Club it was very small called Beatrice in in new york. Have you ever heard of that place? It was on little west 12th and 4th in the in the west village and it was incredible And I feel like it was more of like a modern day 54 and it was crazy and it was only like Celebrities and socialites and everyone there did coke out in the open and it was super super crazy What year's was this was probably 2005 to like 2011 maybe

Or no like 2005 to like 2008 or something and I used to go there every single night I started going when I was 17 and they would let me in and it was fucking crazy And I and that's like a legendary like party spot in new york that like I feel like was r54 that yeah It was a short lift, but it was it was very cool very cool Now when you came out here, you mentioned that sex club in hollywood. Yeah, sanctum. It's just fucking garbage So lame. It's like a bunch of rich guys that pay to belong to that place. I've heard about that place Yeah, where people pay. Yeah, you have to pay big money to belong there

And they they get models to come in and just confuse girls Yeah, I mean I used to love like going to these crazy kind of parties as like a voyeur to just kind of check it out And be like what the fuck is this? You know, I don't know. I mean now, you know now that I'm a little older like I don't think I'd give a fuck I'd be like, yeah, I'll pass on that but like it used to be fun for me to like go to weird shit So, you know, just something to talk about a story something fun I did the same Like I said sex clubs weren't the place for me. I'd always be embarrassed

Yeah, somebody took a dick out and started sucking in the bathroom. I'd be the kind of guy like put that away I was embarrassed or something, but I've been to all the other places. I just can't wink I think Kate told me about that two people have told me about that. Yeah, it still goes on It's supposed to be like The movie the eyes wide shut eyes wide shut, but I heard it's disgusting. It's just a bunch of immigrants With fucking little dicks going down there speaking that language with tongs on and no one was cool Yeah, they're just getting money from losers Sorry

Sorry, I feel like an asshole saying that I had a girl from that was into all that shit in LA and they like we broke up and then she lasted about A year and a half and she left here running Yeah, she's never come back like never she came back once to visit and like since two that we broke up in 98 I think she left in 2000, but she was into all that and I'm like You're not gonna fucking and I think some guy had sex with him put it up on youtube Oh Rack that you pour into one of those something like that something bad happened. That sucks. Yeah, these people are shitty people

Yeah, you know, I'm sure like all those kind of guys film people they have sex with and you have no idea There's a camera in the corner of the room You know, I go through Lancashire at nights and times I try to up Lancashire and there's those three little massage parlors on Lancashire from like uh riverside to To magnolia, there's three little massage parlors There's one that's legit like you go in and there's guys working in girls and they massage you out in the open I take my wife there. Yeah, it's 40 bucks. I take and leave that. Yeah, it's great. It's fucking great

But the other two I think I like yeah, how do you know one time? I think I went to one accidentally because they were mean to me and they were mad at me And I was like, okay, no this was in new york But I think it was a happy ending place because when I went there They were like annoyed that I was there and then I was like I want to massage what so they have to take me And then she was like kind of like beating me and I think she was just taking out her anger on me Because I made her lose seven new bucks that day, you know what I mean? And then I looked through the little hole and there was like baby oil and a rag and I was like

I feel like this is like a jack-off place. There all are they're pretty not. How do you know? I don't know they used to have a website. Yeah, they had a website or there was an app I there's an app that tells you who'll suck your dick in the valley. Who'll let you fuck Like red man told you Red man says Yeah, but they like they they don't even have like I when I When I first started dating I would go to craigslist dating like they used to have dating But there's a new law and because there's prostitution on craigslist and all that stuff

They shut all those sites down dating or misconnections both. They shut all that down Did you ever respond to a misconnection? No, I never had a misconnection, but I did have Ah, it was in the day. You never did it. Uh Instant messenger. It's like texting but over online. Yeah, well, so I met I met somewhere on there And it was sort of like the guy and the girl thing It was like I would message the girl, but the guy would be like, oh like Like tell her this and to me and and I was I was like 19. I was fresh out of fresh into college And like years later. I look back. I'm like, I was probably just messaging the guy

There was no way there was a girl But like I like they were like, oh, we're gonna come and do like the threesome thing and I I I was still a virgin. I was really excited like it was It never happened, but I was like, oh, yeah, I'm just messaging the guy. There's no way there's a girl any other All these places I just don't trust them Well, I don't I don't go to them But what I'm saying is I really don't trust them because I guarantee and I told red man this Like two years ago and he told me I don't look for cameras. Yeah, I can't well look at rubber craft

Is that what happened robber cat? Yeah, they had cameras. That's yeah, who is that again? I don't like though. I don't I don't with all the celebrities and idiots in this town That's what they're waiting for They're waiting for you to go in there get a hand job Then call you like a month later and go we're gonna give it the TMZ And we'll fucking either give us a hundred thousand dollars and we'll let people know you got a hand job at a chinese place And that's why I don't trust none of these people like I wouldn't go to one of those places And if somebody came to me I go just rub your dick out yourself

For the fucking 50 bucks or whatever you're gonna pay. It's not worth getting humiliated like that Like I just think that's just humiliations. Yeah, you're done. I'm gonna hand job So I but that I don't trust this I don't trust vagus Anywhere where there's don't rain me like that like people come anybody. I mean how many celebrities did you see at scores? I don't I actually don't remember seeing any really That's weird because a lot of those motherfuckers go to new yorks and they go to all those creepy Yeah, I don't it was it's all just like rich guys though. Everyone there is rich and You know businessmen mostly. I don't remember seeing any celebrities that I can think of

And now you're married. Yeah seven months happy. Yeah You look good. Thank you. You do a lot of comedy. Yeah, I see that either you and him go with bobby lee from time to time Yes, yeah, yeah, that was very fun. We got the double feature for him. It was super fun getting to go with him He's a good dude bobby, huh? He's the best and he's incredible and he's crazy as fuck He has the best stories and he's so kind and he's a really good person really generous really extremely You know, it's weird that you see him with his hair fucked up and the hats and everything When it's just you and him

It's like the sweetest conversation I've ever had with somebody totally like I've known him for I don't know how long He was a kid when I first met him. He was a kid at the store. Yeah, just come up from san diego Really big Korean eyes He smelled like sand Some Korean dish on his neck, you know He was just a sweetheart like I've when I saw him that uh, he takes you out and shit like that I was fucking dying. You know another thing that you had that I was really touched by I never put it together

Fucking Brody did comedy. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's hysterical. Let me tell you what Josh Wolfe sent me the other day Josh Wolfe sent me the first list He sent me the first list That we did together. This is the first open mic. I ever did in seattle June 26 1995. Wow. How did he have the list? He went up there last weekend and the manager Came to the comedy club. Look at the names on that list. That's amazing. They still had it my first open mic in seattle Brody Stevens June 26 1995

Josh Wolfe Brody Stevens. There's a couple people. Wow There's a couple Craig gas Craig gas is still doing comedy because he that was So that was there was a monday night and a tuesday night. So that was the monday and tuesday night Oh shit's handwritten That's crazy. They still have that. That's amazing. He had the manager the manager car woman holen who's a great Great great. I like that. He saved it. He saved all of them throughout the years I like seeing those old lineups people post those sometimes from back in the day. They're cool to see I have a folder at the bottom bottom of my desk. It's got to be thicker than this notebook

It's like three inches. Yeah, and it was so weird when you first become a regular at the store You have to go to the store and look around It'll be like 1130 and I just steal the schedule off and put it in my pocket I always stole the main room one Like I'm the way out. I'd steal the main room one and keep it in the wallet So I would tell club owners like I would send my promo to club owners and go here you go, bitch Oh, yeah, I gotta see a tape. What tape is the tape? Bam, really? Yeah, I love that. No tapes. I'm number three. I'm following fucking fall mooney

What do you want? What do you want? You still want a tape and then what they were like, all right Then they would hire me. I would never send that smart I would send those things. I'd just make copies of them. I'd go upstairs to come So make 25 copies of them and send them out with a headshot a bio and the data I was looking for Yeah, it's a good idea. Fuck. Yeah Yeah That's how you do it It's like it's something that I I think it's important. I don't do enough of is

Keeping my Mentos like keep like so I can look back in 20 years and Me and Eric aren't like doing open mics or it's uh I have all my stand-up papers Like from the commie store and I have all the shooting schedules Oh, yeah, sure. I've ever done they have the big thing they give you and they give you a little one So you can put it in your pocket. I took home the call sheet the call sheets Yeah, I took home all the call sheets that decides for the day. Wow. So I have a stack of Four inches of just fucking call sheets that I look at it. I'm like, I can't fucking believe this is 20 years ago

Yeah, I shot mad tv 20 fucking years ago. Who the fuck would have thought like I never believed these things. Wow so but bro, I love you to death chelsea and uh You we work together. I took you with me to ice house and once I get more dates throughout the year In the second half I'll take in a couple dates. Thank you because I know you work hard, you know, I know it's harder Even for a girl. Yeah an ugly guy like me I mean, it was real rough getting on stage your shit, but I admire you and I knew that you had a little bit of a past I didn't know it was that deep with drugs and stripping. I just knew it was a little bit of a past and uh

I just always liked your smile. You're always really sweet to me And I just remember one night going good get up there and all some people like why are you putting her up? Because she's beautiful. Is that why you put no because she's a fucking comic and every time I come here I see her here and she's very sweet to me. She always says hi And what the fuck she works. Yeah, I know what shit you put up with Yeah, so if anything you don't I mean you're not working there for the money Right. No, you're not working because you're making not working there for fucking minimum wage You're working there to learn. Yeah, stay fine and learn and I can't I applaud those people. I really do

I know how hard it is to work that I was a doorman I hosted really. Yeah, I don't know that doorman on sundays only Only on sunday she would let me because I'd be on the road so she would let me Host on sundays and be the doorman on sunday, but I wasn't the doorman all night I would just work the door from like seven to 10 30 Yeah, you had it easy. I let Don Barris do the fucking thing and there was enough doorman They wouldn't say nothing to me. Yeah, so it was like a mitzi doorman and she wouldn't say shit So I know what it's like to work there and uh, you know, you haven't eaten anything or anything

I really want to get you on the show. I'd love to do your show when I come back from new york Yes, I would love that That's it man. You got a new home here on the church. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me and don't forget She's on the one how many times a week do you do your podcast? It's weekly So I haven't done it in a couple of weeks I do it at the store and at my apartment because I've just been too busy and I was writing working on writing a pilot with my friend So I didn't have time but filming a recording one this week tomorrow But yeah, check it out. Chelsea skidmore show on itunes and spotify

And it's mostly weekly and I've been doing it for about a year now Because I've been following you on facebook for a while. I would see you from time to time And then she's the only other mother fuck. I know that gets carvel cakes Carvel cake like a year and a half ago. Oh my god. That is so fucking funny. You just brought that up There's no reason why you're on this podcast right now. Just shut the I just found you're beautiful And I need carvel. Yeah, I just sent that picture to steven last night because sometimes we just send each other old pictures I can't believe you just brought that picture and I forgot to tell you to your face And just now I said that's right. I love carvel. It's the best cake ice cream cake

I was telling him the other day that I go to car. I would go to car But every night I get a double cone with another chocolate Yeah, we color sprinkles and whipped cream and I get a chocolate shake thin and after I lick the sprinkles off And I get it's like a little nub. I would just dip the cone into the milkshake And lick the cone as I was walking and drink them. That's how much of a gavona. Yeah Like I fucking love and they're all over. They have one here A carvel store or a store where it's in uh, west ella. It's like, uh Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, they do. I know. I know. No, no, that's not carvel

Carvel I walked in there. I got aggravated. Really? Yes, right across from sentry city. Yeah, yeah, right there Right there. It's four dollars for a cone. Oh, I don't write my brother used to work there back in the day I went in there one day. Yeah, I went in to the one here down here in Santa Monica. Whatever the fuck it is Oh, really? Right on Santa Monica. Boom. That's the one you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah When they first opened I fucking pulled the u-turn I cut people off Yeah, I know I was so excited when I saw it. I went in there. I was pissed How much is a cone supposed to be five a dollar? Really? I guess it's changed though. Yeah, it was I was hot. No, not good. No bueno

They sell the ice cream peaks at supermarkets. Yeah, I go to raps. You have to get one. They're so fucking good We eat one every birthday at my house. Yeah, there's a car. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what do you want? My tradition when I come from there's a car. Okay. I so all I know is carve out. Yeah. Have you had sweet lady jane? No, what's that sweet lady jane is incredible. They have the triple berry cake. It's unreal It's like a short. It tastes like a strawberry shortcake kind of thing with berries It's on our strawberry shortcake or these fucking people's It's fucking it's so good. It's strawberry shortcake from jersey Like that that's that kind of vibe made by jews and speaking

Not that because I've had the strawberry shortcake these people out here call strawberry shortcake. That's not strawberry shortcake It's it's that kind of a vibe. It's like a berry cake with cream and like it's It's it's a very famous cake. What's what's the way because I've only had the original. What's fudgey the whale? What's inside fudgey the whale? I don't know Fudgey the whale is one of the cakes Like carvel if you don't get the circle one, there's fudgey the whale. It's just a blue whale. It's gross Instead of them giving like what when you eat the the carvel cake It's vanilla ice cream on the top with the thing and then the letters are good that blue

Yes, the icing is so good and then on the side that the white icing is so fucking good But that cake is made from all icing It's incredible. It's blue. So the more that icing you eat your fucking nerves start going Yeah, I think you're having a nervous breakdown of shit like that any dates any where you're going Um I'm gonna be with poly at the end of the month and just like little pop-ups in la nothing else on the road yet But I think I'm gonna go out with bobby again soon. So I just post them all on instagram You're working baby. Yeah, you don't know what you're doing every week. You might get a call next thursday night

Yeah, fly up the fucking Milwaukee. That's the type of fucking. Yeah, where you are. Yeah, I'm ready. That's good We got one of those calls this week. You might have to be in minneapolis I love it. You might have to get one of those little fucking things. You see those kids Bird scooter that go to the corner and put their credit card I wonder how much we'll cost you to take one of the scooters to minneapolis eight million dollars A dollar a minute that one foot will be flatter than ever That one right foot will be flatter than ever. I looked at driving there. It's too long. It's like it's like a day and a half That's perfect. You're gonna do for a day. You love to sit but no, no, but the the last shows on sunday

You can do your t-t-t-ta taxes Well, if you leave at fucking midnight You'll be here by six o'clock. You'll be ready for the podcast No, you'll be here by fucking if you leave monday 12 is lunchtime Six o'clock. No, it's 30 hours of driving. Listen. Oh 30 hours. Yeah. Yeah, you forget about it. You'll be here. Yeah You might as well take a plane All right, I love you mother fuckers. I got nothing on the books till june, bitch. So I get back Beside that I want to thank chelsea skidmore. What can they find you instagram at chelsea skidmore twitter xoxo chelsea sky

I love you. Say hello to your husband for me. Send him my love. He's a fucking gentleman I want to thank you guys. I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for being part of the family Do not forget to follow my girl chelsea skidmore You'll see on the road me this year. I want to thank the flying jew a k the christ killer a k the mayor wash which I want to thank you guys for listening because your family. I love you motherfuckers. All right. I want to thank chelsea skidmore I want to thank the flying jew but most importantly. I want to thank you guys for listening and for support in the church

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The smartest way to hire. I want to thank the zip recruiter. I want to thank hymns. I want to thank chelsea I want to thank the flying jew. I want to thank you guys for supporting me. I got no dates on the books I'm in new york doing my thing if you see me say hello and that's it and that's that we'll be back monday morning Tip top magoo ready to rock your world again. Thank you for listening. Lee take this motherfucker mule savage Oh Oh She's gonna turn on juice boy Kill

She's got the most kill she's got Oh Oh She's got The most kill You