Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #687 - Jim Florentine

Episode Date: May 27, 2019

Jim Florentine, comedian, host of the "Comedy Metal Midgets" podcast and actor heard on "Crank Yankers" joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Manscaped - Get 20% off your first order and a travel bag if you purchase “The Perfect Package” at manscaped.com and use the code CHURCH    Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.    

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20% off your first order Keep your balls clean and your fucking love stick shaved with manscape.com The church is also brought to you by on it On it is the way to go when it comes to supplements on it's the only company I've been fucking with for the last like eight years from the protein shake to the Shroom tech immune to shroom tech sport to the main motherfucker alpha brain Which is a bunch of new tropics put together help you think clearer get you a little bit more focused And if it doesn't work out, it'll give you a hundred percent

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What's happening you bad motherfuckers uncle Joe here with my main Jersey native fuck Bruce Springsteen I got Jimmy Florentine this motherfucker. How are you exactly? You know, if you're true Jersey guy You didn't like Springsteen. No, if you were a metal guy, he was you know, you didn't like him fuck springsteen Shit, I like them later on. Yeah later on you'd learn to appreciate about how old but we're growing up there People drove you crazy like they would you know, they would just drive you crazy with that same shit Springsteen I got tortured as a kid because of my musical taste And I always got trumped because I always suddenly pulled out the beetle card or the springsteen card Yeah, and then when John Lennon shit got died when he got shot. I was so fucking happy for two days

Because I didn't have to hear those scumbags no more with this same mole because you couldn't say nothing I went to see AC DC last night fucking great show. Yeah, but they're not better than the Beatles And you heard that shit growing up. Yeah, my beginnings of music from like 74 So John Lennon got shot in 79 or 80. That's all you heard growing up Yeah, but then I good as the Beatles and you couldn't argue with them. They would trump you you had nowhere to go Yeah, the beetle and then if you Jersey was all about Springsteen It's like I had a friend that I was friends. It's his first grade He was a big metalhead and he met this really hot chick and he started dating there

And he ate at Springsteen too when he went to see Springsteen with her. I didn't talk to him for six months Oh, yeah, people didn't talk to him. I didn't talk to him. I was so fucking mad at him. Stop talking. Yeah I'm like, how could you betray us? We call the cops on you We'd sell you an ounce of coke them put the cops on you and shit and then when you call we put Bruce Springsteen on Have Bruce Bell. Yeah You like Bruce here born to run start running you're fucked I got bumper stickers made up There is no reason for Bruce Springsteen and the boss is a total loss And I used to put them on people's bumper say I cruise parking lots and if I saw someone a Bruce Springsteen bumper sticker

I put that over it on their car. I was out of my mind. I'd put them on every sign I'd be driving around put them on signs put them everywhere. I got like 500 of them made and I'm thinking to this day I'm like, why did I do that for what reason? What why do you think music has such like a Emotional like he's just a guy singing like why like you guys hate him like you guys like I actively like it's not like oh I just don't like you don't understand that Hey, the couple people they just didn't have to be musically right I'll tell you who the first person I had more hatred than life or Richard gear

Like I had a personal vendetta against Richard gear because I was starting to get into the groove You're starting to hit on girls and shit. You're like women and every woman was in love with Richard gear when I was starting to sprout Every woman and then he fucking came on the American Jig alone and showed his ass. Yeah, and that was the end You couldn't compete with that ass So I was like, I'm gonna stab Richard fucking gear and when I saw him in the city I was all coked up and I was giving them the evil eye and my friends like let it go I'm like this motherfucker. He deserves it relationships up all over the world Because women think they're actually gonna get Richard gear. I'm lying to you the first guy that was gonna go down was Donnie Osborne

I was gonna shoot Donnie Osborne when I was 12 He's the first one that fucked my game up and then he disappeared for a while So fuck him and then Richard gear showed up and I was gonna beat him Then I saw office and a gentleman that was pretty good and I said I'll give a pass. Yeah, and by 85 I was okay with Richard gear, but for four or five years. I was gonna fuck Richard gear up If you listen to Richard gear, you're lucky Never made pretty woman cocksucker Yeah, I don't know you just had this hatred man

If you were in the hard rock and heavy metal you were against everything else because that you know So you just like too bad anybody that liked any kind of rock music because you hung out with a different crowd at school If you came in an AC DC shirt You hung out with the burnouts and the guys that smoked cigarettes and hung and then the other Jocks or whatever didn't like you and looked he looked down at you like fuck you and if they wore a springsteen shirt Like you hated him even more So does it annoy you now that if they play like both of the like AC DC and springsteen on like a classic rock station together Like this isn't the same thing. No, I don't mind it

I do know like I said as we get older me and Joey just like alright, you know, he's had some good songs I don't know what was wrong with me then. Okay? It's really crazy couple weeks ago I went back to Jersey and I brought back these strong edibles And I went out with my brother and I gave him a hundred milligram. I kept telling them there were 50s The house so now we're stuck for the fucking the thing so he goes did you bring it? I gave it to him and he got fucked up and I told Lee and Lee goes nice and I get high and eat Domino's pizza You can't eat Domino's pizza. You're from my neighborhood

It just isn't allowed. I get that you wouldn't even be You just would be ostracized. Do they even have one in your neighborhood? I don't even know Probably but yeah, did you put your 20 years old not be talked right if you that's it That's just that's serious. That makes sense to me back there. We hold our fucking values And that's what a lot of people don't understand a lot of people don't get It's not just one time. It's a belief It's a belief. It's like yesterday my two days ago Thursday my buddy posted on Facebook And I said I missed you at Roma's

My friends still go to Roma's pizza after 40 years and they wouldn't go anywhere else And I asked Charlie from Roma's I go who still comes in he goes everybody Even though they live in all parts of Jersey, they stop there once a week to get a slice That's the loyalty you have and they don't eat pizza anywhere else Anywhere else that's crazy, you know, I went back to Roma and I've refused to eat pizza here Since I've gone back to Rome life since I've been back in Jersey. My daughter goes to that pizza Paula I can't eat last week. I went how to meatball sandwich. I don't know why like I'm done Like my friends would just would not do anything like that like they would not listen to fucking music

That wasn't authorized like that's not even in their fucking brain Like it's not even in that brain. I don't know how many parties I wasn't authorized You don't know how many parties I went to and I saw John Crowley just break a Bruce Springsteen now Just break it just throw it out of the fucking guys Like if it was playing he would just go up and throw it because you knew Like if you invited this these people over they weren't gonna tolerate that It's just a way that's just the way it is. I Was doing construction at the time and if Springsteen song came on the radio

We're putting the roof up or whatever and as soon as that rate as Springsteen song came on I would fucking jump off the roof to shut that off. That's how crazy it was I would run if I was in the middle of putting a piece of sheet rock up I'd fucking stop everything and run to shut that off It was great. It was crazy how we boycott of things. I still have a personal boycott Like I personally boycott things and I don't say dick like Tom Hanks I boycotted Tom Hanks for crying on the Oscars when he won Philadelphia Really like I didn't watch another one of his movies took me ten years. I

Personally banned Tom Hanks from my life and That's what you have to do sometime like that's the fucking That I don't know why I just get mad sometimes and go that's it. It's over Yeah, and I just won't do it no more Like I couldn't believe I got when I went back for this movie and this side I tell you this would pain in my heart. I Tell you this would pain in my heart because this is how Stoic and old school I am when I went back to New York the first place I went to was

330 42nd Street to get wardrobe done think of the address. I'm telling you 330 So you're all away out by like no, I was a block away from me to happen Right, so after I got wardrobe. I went out. I go. What am I gonna do with my time? I looked up I went for a walk and I walked down 42nd Street I made a left and I walked up and if you walk two or three blocks up There's an Olive Garden there And it caught my eye and I'm not ashamed to tell you I stood there for 20 minutes wishing debt on every tourist that walked in there

Because I don't know I really I really Cannot comprehend like that's how stupid I am but I cannot comprehend how a person goes to New York and goes to a fucking olive Yeah, I Do not understand that it's amazing. Yeah, and there's a Chevy's across the street from a Chevy's across the street from yeah I do not understand how I could go to Long Island and get on an elevator With a kid with a dominoes box and this parent right next to him I can't tell you how much I had up hold back and beating up the parent For letting the kid eat a dominoes when he's in the fucking capital of pizza

Like you're in the capital of pizza Like I can't even comprehend that type of shit Yeah, like even if you're not hungry for a pizza you gotta eat a pizza out of respect for being there Even though it's sound I mean it sounds a little silly when you think about it Does this sort of like strictness help you guys in your life and otherwise like even though what it is Even though dominoes is a silly thing. It's the discipline. That's where it starts. It's that discipline of little things It's the little things that get you to the bigger commitments So if you start another dumb thing there was a club named quintessence when I was growing up

There was a bar named quintessence in the rich field on the way up. It was sort of like a disco, right? I Went to that parking lot one time and in the parking lot we were snowing coke And I told the drivers like four gorillas in the car and two gorillas had to go into the pickup chicks And there was something about the front of that place that I did not like I did not like the doorman I didn't like how girls were acting when they were walking in and I told the driver Let's get the fuck out of here the kid who was driving and for a year I boycotted quintessence

It was my little power play when people would come to me and go you're going to quintessence tonight I would go no And they would drop the look on their face would be priceless and I did it on purpose to show people You don't have to go to that dump with Joe and Mary's type of motherfuckers. We're from a neighborhood bar We don't go to those point like at one age. I decided I didn't want to go to clubs no more rock clubs I like like the bubble factory. What's there was the one about so factory so factory. Yeah Yeah, the soap factor I kind of dug but there was a lot of shitheads in there, too Yeah, but I went to see a couple bands in there not bad. I walked on a twisted sister there and I saw arrow Smith there

You do know arrow Smith played. Yeah, cuz I know they play and yeah They play like the found casino in Jersey on that same run. I saw there. They were all fucked up all fucked up But I used to go like I made it a point not to go to quintessence Ladies night, whatever and people would lose their mind until this day people look at me and go That's right. You know what the quintessence like I just refused to go to quintessence Do you ever tell any of these people like a your your bam bam your band from from my life? I'm not gonna go to your bar. No, I just made a decision I just make a decision one day that I'm not fucking doing that shit

I'm not I don't want to be like everybody else and do that shit. And I just don't do it smart Why be like everybody why live your life and be like everybody else? Yeah Why live your life and have an earring and the goatee and the the cap and try to be cool And you know I'm saying like I hate all that people actually think they look good Like the people they think they fit in Crazy, I don't I never really wanted to fit in if you if you grow up listen to hard rock a heavy metal You were not trying to fit in you were not trying to pencil and to this day if you like that music you're not trying to fit in

I mean, I guess that's good though. Yeah, I never wanted to really be in I always thought I wanted to be in But I knew I wasn't like right like I didn't know when I was a kid and everybody all the kids in school It's hell saying that why I would look at them and go. I don't know what the fuck you're laughing about Like it never made me laugh once. Yeah, so I knew there was something wrong with me already Yeah, and they're growing up any popular show. I remember one friends was popular and whatever I wouldn't watch one second of it I'm like, I'm not like yeah, Joe. We got a new haircut. I'm like, who? You know, I wouldn't everybody was talking about I'm like, I'll never I will never watch that ever you just don't No, I'm the same way I didn't watch Game of Thrones. Everyone everyone goes crazy even Star Wars. Everyone's talking about star

I never watch I never saw one second E.T. I never E.T. I never watched that yet. I don't like nothing space-related same with me Nothing space-related same with me once I see a Martian you lost me, right? I maybe I watched a couple of like lost in space as a little kid I watch a lot of space as a kid, but I didn't watch Star Trek that didn't either I refused to watch fucking Star Trek as soon as it came on Batman Road boom off Star Trek I refuse to watch all those fucking sure. Yeah, same here. It just refused As comics though, do you ever feel like you need to

See watch any of these things or listen just to be able to reference them or you just talk about other things No, if you're a real comic, I don't know why you're watching anything from 8 to 10. Anyway, that's all yeah Yeah, you're a comedian before DV the iron and binge watching. I didn't watch TV a legit First of all, I didn't I didn't watch TV probably from 86 To When I went to prison That's when I started watching on Sundays. We'd watch America's most wanted in prison and married with children

That was it. That was it. I'd watch TV on Sunday nights and then once I started comedy I didn't watch TV till I moved to LA and I started auditioning For TV shows and that forced me to watch those shows TV was out of my life when I got it when I first got into comedy I sold my Sony Trinitar That was the first thing I did to get the discipline down I think I sold it for 40 bucks. Well, that was it. No TV. I don't need TV. Yeah, you're doing comedy You don't need yet Saturday night live. I go. I never watch it. I was always working. That's not a comic You shouldn't be why I never I was never home to watch it on a Saturday

So I didn't know what was going on right that me that makes sense But I mean and I guess it's also Sometimes I don't like it like some comics. They have jokes about a song that's out or about a TV show and I guess some of it's good but It's better just to talk about what you like. Yeah, I mean like right now you've talked about the Game of Thrones finale Which I've never watched any of that either. It's like there's gonna be six other comics on the show To probably gonna have a joke about that. So why would I want to go? Okay? I need to know About that because everyone's talking about it. Okay. I think it goes back for me

Because I was thinking about this For me it was more like When you see a fucking Mexican dude mowing the lawn Right go up to him And ask him if he knows what game of thrones is Ask him if he gives a fuck about archie The kid from england the fucking ugly fucking kid that was born to the prince of england

And mailing whatever a fucking dragon whatever markly whatever a fucking name is Ask him if they went to city of vengeance They don't know nothing about that They don't know nothing about that like and that's what immigrant mentality is they don't have time for stupidity You know, I grew up. I was very ashamed this last time about new york Because when I was raised in new york city, the first thing your mom told you when you walked the streets was Look straight ahead And don't fuck around. I can't believe how many new yorkers I saw

Looking at their fucking phone. I wish I could smack them all at one hand This is the worst fucking thing going in the world right now This takes people's attention. This takes your fucking time. This is why when I go on the road I don't bring social media with me once I'm on the road Thursday. There's no social media with me I have twitter on this phone, but no facebook. Yeah, I got my emergency fucking email But that's it because I've seen what it's done to people People are fucking done with social media It went from posting one thing to posting psychological problems down

Social media is an all-time fucking low and it's not social media's fault. It's our fault for letting ourselves get caught up You know I'm saying I use it to to promote dates and to keep in touch with the fan base from the from the church I don't use it to tell fucking people my problems or Or your or your politics. Yeah, it's gone somewhere Completely fucking different. Well, I think it's just people That's where they're living their lives now like a lot of people on like

Whenever I'm on a diet, I do I watch people I watch I look for food videos on youtube And there's a new thing now where people are eating like 10 cheeseburgers on like it's called they call it like a mukbang like they eat like a whole stack of food And they have like millions of views and and people are just living their entire lives on the computer now If you're if you don't go online for five days and you go back on you didn't miss one thing You didn't miss one. You didn't miss one thing. You didn't miss one thing 20 they said 20 percent of people are on twitter in the whole world

And only 10 percent actually engage with people so 80 percent. I have 17 people in my family And three of them are on twitter and none of them post anything They just follow whatever news organizations to see what's going on most of the people I've know what my friend got some twitter beef or another comic. I go you realize 2,000 people Know what's going on in this whole world, right? I go no one knows what the fuck's going on. I go don't play it at 2,000 people But do you think that it's on everyone's radar? It's not who gives a shit because we're all on it every day or a lot What kills me the most about This thing that we're going through right now with social medias

Like I had to say something to somebody a couple weeks ago I really like this girl. She's come through a couple shows and stuff And she emails me once every 10 days about Thailand and how beautiful it is And one Saturday I just checked twitter and she had 20 fucking tweets in a row There's two people that I don't know how they're living their lives, you know people always go Oh joey, you got some of my landish fucking stories that because I'm not I wasn't raised On the fucking television or raised on a phone. I was raised on the street

I was raised living life experiences not reading about Somebody doing mushrooms or reading about So I lived it. You know what I'm saying like I lived it I never had to read about it and then go do it To try to be cool like I didn't know anything about that I lived for now like and I still live For now I feel bad When I see people constantly

And you see them constantly all day All you gotta do is look at the thread and see what you missed for six hours and you're like This person has not stopped You go to a fucking concert. What do you see people with their phones up taping? Why are you taping? What are you taping? What does it gonna do for you to show somebody at work? Why are you taping? Why are you taping? You're not watching. You're not getting the full fucking experience You're not fucking getting the full experience of what life is throwing at you Put that fucking this is the worst thing that they could have created for us. Yeah, this is the worst thing

It simplifies people nobody at you know, like I just stop with the text Like if you text me you might as well shoot yourself I'm not gonna get nowhere. Like don't text me because you're not gonna get nowhere. It's over I disconnected the fucking thing. It's over. Like I get certain fucking it's over Like every day I shed more and more of the phone or social media like I'm down to thursdays now Right, I used to fuck around on fridays. I eliminated fridays because it's taken too much time I noticed that it was taken and it's not me. I see what it's doing to people You're killing your life. You're not living your life

You're looking at something and then you look down the post Something stupid Yeah, like something that has no value in our world or in your life at all You know the other night I went somewhere to eat and I was like, maybe let's take a picture and I go no Why am I doing what everybody else does? Forget this. Yeah I mean it's it I was trying to do a few weeks ago something on instagram the picture wouldn't fit and I'm trying to shrink it down I'm telling my friend to go ahead and I'm like, what the fuck am I I just wasted 25 minutes to try to shrink it

Because it doesn't fit on instagram like what am I doing my life? Who gives a fuck if I post this or not? Are our kids getting phones like I didn't get a phone until I was in middle school And that way it was just a brick phone like the no-key old ones our kids young kids like elementary school getting phones now My kid's eight. He's gonna be nine. He doesn't even it's no he's not getting a phone for a while He's not even asking for one really. I thought I figured they'd be asking by like four Or five now he doesn't his cousin who's a couple years old and he's got the phone and now they have like they relate It's affected their relationship because whenever they see each other

He's just looking at the phone playing a game and my son's just sitting next to him going Hey, hey, you know wanting to talk to him, but he's just buried in the phone Yeah, no, I would be if I was a kid. I forced my daughter out of the house every day today and started drizzling I still forced her out I walked her to the park myself for an hour and a half I forced her out So there's no I want her to live to say, you know, I was talking to my wife last night about

Going to that fucking school where she goes to school at And saying that I want the kids to put together like a school newspaper So they have to deliver papers each kid has to deliver a paper on their block And you get the kids writing and going out. I think that a lot of people don't have that I've noticed that a lot of the people that come on the podcast the sharper people have a paper wrap I noticed that kids that had a paper route are sharper fucking kids Because they had that that contact with humans at a younger age. You know how to wheel and deal One thing I noticed the last month, especially is that

Adults are not slick anymore What's that? You see that movie the town? The town yeah with Ben Affleck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he tells the cop next time Don't take pictures down the corner from my house be slicker than a fifth grader or whatever he says slicker than whatever This country has forgotten how to be slick. I see it from dealing with people The deal with people people aren't slick no more They're not slick my five my six year old is slicker the most adults today They don't know how to fit nothing in they don't know how to wheel and deal

They don't know the counter You know like when I was a kid and I come to your door, do you want the Sunday paper? No I use that I use that paper out to sell all my shit Like if I was a cyo basketball player, all right, you don't want the Sunday paper You're buying a fucking sticker right and if you're not buying a sticker You're buying something from me and I'm gonna torment you every day until you buy Something from me and when I realize you're not gonna buy something from me I'll put you on a list and on halloween when we throw eggs

Your house is gonna get bombarded to the fuck. Yeah, you work people you understood how to work people I want my daughters have that same thing how to work people and that's how you learn all this shit So I'm going to that fucking school to pitch him for her first grade that all those get five or six first graders And give them extra credit make them right second graders third graders fourth graders fifth grade Even if I have to walk down the block with deliver those papers Yeah, let's ask for the quarter whatever the fuck it is Because we're missing out. We're missing out. I I see kids Missing out a lot of things that I had grown up that I I'm happy I didn't miss out on them paper routes working, you know

When it snowed fucking shoveling people out. I used to make a hundred bucks every time easily snowed Absolutely, I don't know that's a yard stick out fucking a shovel me and my buddies You want to drink tonight? You want to smoke pilots? We would go knock on every door knock on door 20 bucks 25 bucks 30 We have forgotten that we that is these are unknown secrets and people when they hear this they go I never thought of that because You're not slick We've lost that gift

It's like I was telling you before the podcast started and we'll call my buddy Mike Duffy right now Mike Duffy was the leader of that shit. I didn't come up with it. I told you in 1976 For the 200th anniversary of the fucking whatever We were down there walking around and we saw a parking lot that was empty and the restaurant was closed So we went we borrowed a fucking boat cutter from a cop Like we went up to a cop and said can we borrow boat cutting? He's like for what is ah Somebody tied my bicycle the cop was looking at the Hudson River We went and cut the the fucking chain

And we charged four dollars to park. Is it legal? No, it's not legal But it's kids being slick It's just kids being slick And if you start at that age how to flip a fucking buck when you get older, you'll know how to be fucking slick Kids today that have no paper right. They got no quailudes. They got no hits of acid You have no way to learn about business at a young age of 13 and 14. I'm not trying to be funny I'm telling you to honest to god truth You don't understand the value of a dollar how to buy something for two dollars and sell it for four

Whatever the fuck it is when I was a kid. I sold everything I remember I remember getting on a plane one time with my mother and stepfather going to Puerto Rico And in the first class they used to give you shampoos and hand creams and me sitting there Going I'm gonna take I took a puke bag and I put all the perfumes because I would sell them on Broadway Right, like I was that much of a fucking mensch when I was a fucking kid when I was shooting that movie in jersey We had a shoot in a banquet hall and I was sitting in one of those Hollywood chairs And I was looking up and they had chandeliers And they were like little gems and I remember being a kid

Going somewhere and stealing The fucking gems off the chandelier thinking they were diamonds and selling them on Broadway and people telling me to get the Fuck out of it. It was the heart that mattered. I was still I always was a wheel of dealer I don't know if you get that from being from jersey I don't know what the fuck when I moved to jersey those kids Made a mint they stole something every day The common denominator we would go to sea caucus and cut punks

Those things that you light on fire. Yeah, yeah backyard to kill the mosquitoes. I mean we even went that far We always were looking to make a dollar every fucking day. We did something Did it slow down for you because when I was younger I did that but then when I got like a job at like 15 14 I get it It was hard for me to ask for money as an adult Like it's we're not asking. We're taking you just take it. There was a soccer field when I was growing up Schitzen Park a german fucking hall And they had people who you could see 8,000 a thousand people in the soccer field and it was covered by sheet metal

We figured out that every sheet of sheet metal we get 140 dollars You don't know how many nights we were on top of that roof Taking a piece of sheet metal off calving it down the woods And walking it to the fucking sheet metal yard and getting 140 hours and splitting it three ways And then taking two sheets down taking three sheets down and people at home are listening going Jesus christ Surely did you guys ever stop? No No, I still might have been a car salesman making 10,000 a month and at lunchtime

I would walk into the boulder mall and steal cross pens when it wasn't paid day I would ask the lady can I see those pens and she would open up the thing and walk away And I would take a handful of cross pens and sell them to salesman for 20 dollars a piece It never ended like it never that mentality never had like I was always Wheeling and dealing you had to those record clubs those columbia house bmg 13c albums for a penny. So we so we did all these different names. They'd come to our address You know, you know, you don't put a social security number So they never messed up your credit and then we'd go to this place called the Ingolstown auction

On saturday and sunday just get a table. We wouldn't pay for the table You're supposed to pay like 50 bucks to rent the table or 30 whatever it was And we just sit there all the albums that we got and we'd sell them So we paid a penny. We just paid you just taped a penny So 10 cents for 100 albums, you know get 13 albums for a penny And then you had to buy them later on and then you just blew it off. You didn't buy them They would send another shit. Yeah, they'd send a new u2 record was a record a month thing. Okay, good I got this now and they go we need 13 86 from you just blow it off burn that burn those bills or just

If a friend got a new apartment, we just get that at what's your new address And then we just forward all those bills there and he'd get like 40 bills a day And we just sell them at the Ingolstown auction for like five bucks and we walk away with 70 dollars Fucking Columbia house. They weren't tear-hard Indiana. Yeah, yeah, Indiana. I knew them that address by heart And you know, I would just take my magazines And I would fill out columbia house mail them to the house across the street And you'd wait for fucking the mailman to see the big box come

You see the big box you run up the stairs and take the box And then you'd have duplicate out and all the albums were a farce anyway. They were all duplicates Yeah, they weren't they they weren't great. They were really thin They weren't really the original albums. Yeah, just make copies and that's why you got 13 of them for a penny and then you had to agree to buy four of them over the next three years Yeah for like 28 99. Yeah, which is ridiculous. It's ridiculous. That's how they made their money back whenever they change formats from album To cassette to cd. I'll go go. Okay. I need all the black Savit stuff now in a cassette now. I need it in a cd and I would just get it through columbia house

I'm like, fuck it. I already paid for it once. I'm not paying for it again I actually wrote a I wrote actually wrote a check to columbia house back in like 2004 when I started making money in comedy And I sent him a check for two grand. I said just cash it I I you know ripped you guys off for years or whatever just cash it because I felt bad, huh? Did they cash it? Yeah, I never I yet. I cashed it. Did they ever mail you a thank you? No did nothing I didn't hear back from those motherfuckers, but I okay You made me feel guilty. I almost wrote him a check, but if they're not gonna say thank you No, they didn't say thank you. They go fuck them. Believe me. I ripped them off for probably five grand

Oh, I got them too. I there was another company called finger hut where they'd have like these little cd players Or whatever a clock radios all these little gadgets and that was the same thing You know, you can get it for free and then you just have to buy stuff So me and my brother around christmas time we get presents for our family Like a cd player and shit like that and we just and we just blow them off and never acknowledge them again They'd be chasing us so down they had these great catalogs a little like shit It was almost like sharper image, right? But shittier stuff Okay, like a shittier version of sharper image. They would send you shit with no money

No money They would send you one thing with no money and then you had to buy like four other things like you fucking kidding me It's amazing where they like how long did columbia house last? Yeah, that's still basically around but it years I mean, I'm like, how does this company stay in business? Because I don't know anyone that paid him. I don't know one person that ever paid him I tried to do it. My brother was ripping them off so much. I go, you know what? I should really just do it. I'm making a little money now

I'm gonna I put it in my real name and they turned me down. I'm like you motherfuckers So I just put it in dammarino's name. So I was a dammarino fan. I got 13 fucking metallica records the next day How crazy is that? I'm like really at my own name and you're gonna turn me down I started fucking with columbia house when I was in catholic school Somebody told me it just send it in. I was like, are you serious? Yeah I started I think I got like american pie Right

Down the claim. Yeah. That was one of the first albums. I got uh superfly I got from columbia house I got all those albums from columbia house the first time Then they'd send your letters and I just straw them away. Then I figured I'm waiting. Let me send an account to my mother And they took it Then I sent one to my stepfather And then I just started putting fake ads Fake names and sending them to my address and they would still send them same what you could use the address

Like 15 times with 15 different names. You just make up a name and they would keep sending them People cross the street to tristanos right that had two girls. How many things I sent to the house I sent pornos to the house because we used to get super rates When super rate no and I told that bit for years about People didn't know that before youtube or you hub or porno hub and all that shit If you wanted to get porn you had to order it in the mail when I was like 10 11 you had to get porno in the mail So you had it and it didn't even go to like

Uh, it wasn't even playboy or hustler. It was like regular magazines You'd go to the back and they'd have three pornos for 1995 and if you order now you got a projector So they would send you this little mini Super rate projector that was called reel the reel or something like that And you had to put it in and you had to put a sheet up and the pornos would just god awful Like the reason why I don't watch porn today is because of those pornos from the 70s Whatever they sent you in the mail

What all those women are dead Like all those women got killed they they did not survive. They were lied to They picked them up in a van you could see like they were crack hose even before it was crack Like it was that bad the pornos you can get pornos in the mail. I don't remember that I don't remember that. I would have definitely have done that. I don't me and my friends did it I think one time and that's all it took. Yeah, it scared the shit out of us like we We went into an area that you weren't supposed to go on. Yeah, it was me sabatino

the speciale brothers And I think one of the balsanos And we all chipped in five bucks Because it was like 1999 flip shipping and handling And you had to wait six weeks for them to process It was just like getting a ticket in the 70s Like if you wanted to go see the who like who were you in 76? We had to send Uh pink floyd also pink floyd the wall. Well not pink floyd the wall. I'm sorry. There was somebody else

That plj in the old days. Yeah the mail Are fucking a check on money order in to plj and then they would send you tickets back They would send you a letter with four tickets You only were allowed to get four tickets. You didn't know that check. Yeah. No, I did remember. Yeah, you couldn't get too many They wanted from the scalpers they didn't want the scalpers buying 20 tickets So let's say judas priest was doing five nights at the palladium You would order Lee would order i would order quiche you would order five

So five of us would order five take four tickets And if you went then we would go monday tuesday wednesday and thursday And usually if you mailed it in you got them. Yeah, unless you mailed it in two weeks late. You didn't get shit Okay, but if you mailed it right plj said tomorrow at 8 a.m If you mailed it that day, you usually got tickets especially at the garden. Yes did that Yes came every september five or six nights You had a mail shit in to get it back But porno when I first

The first time I saw porno it was porno that you had to order in the mail and I still remember Wait the six weeks for it and fucking Getting it and it being like a secret fucking party like handshakes and people came over We had we had to do it in my house up in the attic and it was hot We had to bring a fan in an air conditioner. Yeah Like that's how crazy that shit was Yeah, man, um, I think I lit those balloons on fire. We melted

That's how disgusting they were They were that fucking disgusting like just like we thought we were gonna see like models and shit Uh-uh It looked like women that had been run over and they smuggled them out of the whole towers and shit It was bad. It was really fucking bad Damn, yeah, because I mean you just basically had a magazine Well, we do with the columbia house stuff if we you know got it shipped to our dress There was I remember there's one kid in the neighborhood. We all hated he was a dick

So we just forwarded over to his address Because you would you get the bill and you would forward out a change of address and just put his address So now all the bills would go to his house and he didn't know who was coming from because I put Dan marino down So he had no idea it wasn't my name. So he had no idea where the shit was coming and it just gets stacks of bills Fuck them When I was home this time too, I remembered something. You know, I remember they used to bring the coke up To dan marina at the university of pittsburgh. I knew those guys. Oh, yeah Yeah, well, that's I'm telling you that's why he dropped all the way to dolphins at

Pick 24 that year because there was always rumors that he was doing coke in college Because he was going to be like number one and five quarterbacks went before him or four Kenny O'Brien all these guys because of the coke rumors and the dolphins will take a chance on him Fuck he's down in miami. Anyway, I didn't know you were that much of a damn. Oh huge Yeah, huge dolphin fan and marino fan I went up and get get to know him because I worked on inside the NFL like in 2004 and he was on there And shit. So we became friends and stuff. I still see him from time to time. He's a great dude That guy after like inside the NFL bob cost is chris collinsworth

chris carter Or the deal like a party or something like that afterwards they'd all go sit at the table Like, you know the hosts and stuff like that with all the executives from hbo marino would hang with the friggin camera guys and drink beers with them And just tell stories. He wanted to hang with the blue collar guys. He was always like that growing up from pittsburgh He's a pittsburgh guy. Yeah pittsburgh guy. Yeah I'll never forget when pittsburgh played west virginia Marino seen a year and there was a guy on west virginia called daryl tallie Oh, yeah, he went to the bills. Yeah, he was an animal. Yeah, you should have seen him in college

Really like in college. I was like, who is this fucking guy? He was doing everything. He had to face paint. Yeah number 56 was tackling people sacking people biting people Fucking intercepting balls. I was like, what the fuck is this guy? Still my marina that was on a couple weeks ago The the quarterback thing 30 for 30. Oh, yeah, without way a marina down fucking brilliant What the Yankees did without way always just did not want to play for the fucking cults. He's like, I'm not doing it Yeah, I'm not fucking doing it Yeah, that was amazing. You know and uh, yeah, he had a great senior junior year and then marino

Didn't have a great senior year and there was drug rumors about him and he dropped all the way and man, we picked him up I still remember kids telling me they were going to pit the party Not saying his name like he wasn't a big deal at the time But I still remember a handful of kids a girl specifically That she was dating one of those guys that was coming to Hudson county Picking up the shit in north bergen and bringing it right up the pit For the weekends because the kid went to st. Joe's in west new york Right

There was a kid from st. Joe's west new york that went to pit and he played and pit all four years of marino He was the fucking source of that Of that fucking powder Poor marino and he was still on powder in the nfl too. Supposedly. Yeah, I mean if you lived in miami and stuff, you know He never got caught or anything. I don't know. No, no He never the the receivers did a duper and clayton. Yeah, all those guys Like it was the fourth. Oh, yeah Yeah, they got they got busted and even later on life like duper was dealing and stuff like that all those miami guys

There was always these former dolphins mercury maris was a rigid the original one got caught with coke back in the 70s It was in jail for like five years Yeah I don't know. I don't know your history jim. I don't know if you did coke or anything like that, but I always think about Like could you be like a musician on tour or like an athlete who's playing games? And have like a like it seems like it would take too much out of you to have a problem like that But still be able to go out there and perform at like the crazy level No, those guys in the 70s a bunch of baseball players like 10 baseball players stars got busted for doing coke

going to games Yeah, and then keith or nanda's was involved and they parker What was Ron? Candelaria Candelaria candy man Lawrence Taylor bands shit I saw Lawrence Taylor in a strip club. It's it was saturday night at like 2am And he had a game sunday at 1 p.m. In jersey He was fucking hanging out with strippers fucking guzzling drinks back

And he had a game in what 11 hours They're just that good. I guess they're just that good. They could perform under that type of They could just perform I guess so You know, I did it for years. I didn't get high and go on stage But but you've talked about how like if you got high too high like sometimes your sense wouldn't be as well Oh, no, you have no contact. You have no emotion behind your material. It's just words on the paper All those guys that got fucked up and I work with a lot of them when I first started If they ever had a second show on a weekend

They were terrible the first show they were pretty good because they were just in a groove and they had nice buzz on by A second show you have to wait an hour between a second show start but the time they went back on they were terrible Terrible. Yeah, just doesn't work. Yeah, you can't be that fucked up for like seven hours You know, you start the first show starts at eight You're not you getting off stage at 12 30 or whatever five and a half hours It just doesn't work and there's too much downtime in between Need to get more fucked up Go more fucked up and then you know, maybe doing some coke to get back up and then drinking a ton and all that it's just never

And I always saw that going like I'm not gonna do it. I'm never gonna do that I mean, I never did coke anymore, but I'm never gonna be fucked up to like see how much it affects the show I got at the comedy in june Of 91 and at st. Patty's day at 92 I bought some coke and I go I'm gonna do some coke before I go on stage. I know richard pride did it I totally did it and go on stage and it was such a disaster And never again. I would do it right from the stage

To the bathroom, but I would never go up on stage Never and it would make I saw the difference it made when I got high the night before and went on stage the next day I would go on stage for four nights and just bomb Because I was getting high the night before And I could feel it and then when I had a big show I wouldn't get high for like a day before so I'd be clean for like 24 48 hours if I had a serious show

But I always got high after a show And that's why I never got nowhere It wasn't so I yeah, it really fucked it really affects you if you get really fucked up The night before and you got shows the next day it sleeps off and everything like that. You're exhausted on stage You're just not thinking straight Which was for the athletes like you hear about John Jones talking about he was doing coke all before those dc fights I guess they're just so like they're just machines. I guess Well, you have that muscle memory, you know, I heard Lawrence Taylor was snorting

It bothered me what people would say. Well, the reason why Lawrence Taylor is so good is because he snorts coke That's bullshit. That's completely bullshit Because I remember being locked up And we would do speed on mondays and monday nights We would all be allowed to go to a grammar school Like a mile away from the fucking prison and play basketball and I would be a mess I would be a fucking mess I would and that was speed. I can't imagine

Doing like coke. My heart would be everywhere My breathing would be off my timing would be off And I was a young kid and I just felt it then I'm like now I don't think this works if you get high and do what you're supposed to do Listen, I'm sure that there's a thousand comics That have done coke and gone on stage and done great. It just didn't work for me Because then you get in the habit of you have to do it all the time. You feel like it's all superstitions Oh, man, I kill with it. It's not got to do it every night. You're doing five six nights a week

You're gonna be fucking dead in 10 years. Yeah People always give me shit like, you know drank I go I go I do this five six nights a week I've been doing it for 28 29 years I go I had no liver left if I'm I need to have beers before I go on stage Yeah, every night, you know what I mean? I come I would never get in that habit of doing that And then I got to drive. I'm like fuck that. I'm you know, I gotta take this shit serious I can't keep it together if I drink and drive I cannot keep it together. I'm not a big drinker

But if I have a half a beer and I get in the car My heart rate's fucking pumping and I got because I have no credibility Once you have alcohol on your breath and you get pulled over by a cop You have zero credibility even if it's even if you just had a little bit of beer with your meal You have no credibility. You have no where to come from because once he asks you if you've been drinking You got to say yes, and you got to take that fucking test So I'd rather not drink and do 90 and take a chance You know many times a cop pulled me over and I was speeding over the speed

Weren't you in a car with me and I just got pulled over doing 80 and then we didn't get a ticket Yeah, because I was gent I'm a gentleman a and b. I don't have alcohol on my breath You could prove your point a lot more when you don't have alcohol and your car don't smell like reefer And I knew this 30 years ago Like when I would read that somebody got pulled over and they had a roach in the car and they had three kilos of coke If I was a judge, I'd give them additional time for felony stupid Like I would have that charge felony stupid Like I would have that charge if I have anything in my car and if I have more than two joints in my car

I don't do over the speed limit They gave us a right in california They gave us the right to smoke pot whenever we wanted to do you really need to smoke pot in your car? No, if you do you're a fucking idiot, right? Yeah, you're a fucking idiot You know Do you really need to smoke pot in your car? not really california gave you a fucking chance to smoke all the pot you want in your fucking house

Or on your balcony, you don't need to smoke in the car and you're gonna lose your license You're gonna crash and you're gonna trace it to that. You're gonna get fucking sued And the whole you know, and if you guys I bet you kill someone some guys walking across the street You don't see him whether even if you were sober and he did and you you're high forget it You're going to jail minimum of 10 years. Yeah, that happened like don't taste all worth a couple of years ago Yeah, he just hit some guy was walking across the flat That's like my nightmare No, it's you pay a fucking attention to life

If you pay attention You'll save you eliminate 20% of the bad shit that could happen What to pay attention means who gives a fuck who's calling you? Right when you're in a fucking car and i'm driving and somebody calls you it tells me who's calling me I don't need to pick it up. I don't need to text when i'm driving. I don't want to text when i'm fucking driving I don't want to text at all So that's why I don't pay attention to it if you pay attention to life You won't have those problems even when I was in my deepest

Drug colmas I always pay attention. I I can't tell you how many times I tell my daughter to pay attention And she does now she walks with her head up. Yeah, no, you're surroundings. No, you're fucking surroundings I always ask her who's in the room like the other day. I said to her look behind you You know and I see when you fucking walked up to me, you should have made sure that guy was there You didn't because you didn't look you got to look around you got to keep your eyes open at all times When I see stupid shit on the news it breaks my heart, especially as a parent at the park When I go to the park, I see parents fucking turn their backs and shit

You don't ever turn your back on your kid your eyes are always on your kid If somebody talks to you and they're over here that forces you I stop the conversation I stop the fucking conversation I want to watch what the fuck is going on at all times at all fucking times Yeah, I live a little off a road where the speed limit is like 35 miles an hour I'm like a corner house and my my son and his friends are always playing in my yard to play in baseball

Whatever and I always tell them I solicit if that ball ever goes and then at road under no circumstances go get it I go I got 17 more balls in the house Don't ever think you can go get that ball real quick and then run off. You're not So then there's no I go don't ever go over this fence You know what I mean? So I just put in it. I tell them every time they play I go you guys know what the rule is if that ball goes over there. Yeah, we don't go get it exactly even if it's the last one left So you just got to let them know man. Don't ever on that. You know, I can make it notice, you know, so they know

It's funny used to go to English English town auction I live near there still I I bring my son there This there's so much stolen shit there every week. Everything is great shit at that English town flea market But the mini what is it the mini car English town They got the the raceway park with the funny cars yet still there to try to outlaw because it allowed noises in the summer I love it. I sit on my deck. I hear those race those drag racing cars. I'm like, this is cool They still have they still have them

But I used to go to that thing in 19 like 76 And we used to sell sneakers Yeah, converse limousines for the feet P everything down there was stolen Everything car speakers everything just fell off a fucking truck It was just an outlet to sell stolen stuff Watches you go down and look at somebody and give them like a look Like a wink and they'll take you for a walk like is this all you have

They look at you for a couple minutes and you look at them They look at you and they're like, let's take a walk and you go to that car and they got tons of shit in that car grenades fucking dead bodies English town, New Jersey was this shit was unbelievable. We used to buy used sneakers there for like 10 bucks Like used high tops like our cigarettes carton cigarettes And then fireworks like m80s and blockbusters a guy in a coal would have a table out like you'd have a cover over it And you walk by I got fireworks like you wouldn't couldn't keep them out in the open mats of fire crackers

And you'd buy shit right there like, you know a quarter stick of dynamite for like six bucks A blockbuster was a quarter stick of dynamite and we just blow people's mailboxes up in the neighborhood that we didn't like We just set it and then there'd just be a stick there and you wouldn't even know where the mailbox went They sell dynamite to like Yeah, they didn't give a shit. Yeah. Yeah, we were 14 14. We don't give a fuck We would me and my friends would take the train into the city and go into china town and go I don't know it's some shady apartment and we'd we'd be stealing the fireworks at the same time We'd distract a woman that's going to sell so we'd be shoving them down our pants blockbusters

And come back with all these fireworks and just go go go sell them in a neighborhood everybody else Because there was a car there was a guy that came off from china town close to the 4th of july That would sell fireworks out of his car in the summertime right before the 4th of july Then we got hit we found out That you could undercut that motherfucker just by going to china town yourself. Yeah, we were kids 8th grade 7th grade we were going to china town and buy Those things we buy a gross of bottle rock 100 44

44 Bottle rock. It's a gross and shit We'd buy and we'd light up the whole mat Like we get the mats. Yep matter fireworks. I forget how many firecrackers were in there packs. No fucking idea It's amazing. You're still like 150 packs of fire and have all your fingers and oh my god I remember the cops would come around a week before the 4th of july and show you pictures of People's hands that have been blown off. Yeah, it worked on me. We'd tell them to go fuck them. Yeah, like who cares That's like I'm still scared of fireworks. We used to have firecracker fights

Like we'd light fire and throw them at each other. Oh my god And then we take the stick off the fire You take a stick off of bottle rocking. You're not on fire. It's a nigger chaser Because it would just spin around and go crazy. So they would call them nigger chasers Even the chinese people go you buy nigger chaser Look at them like what the fuck are you talking about? What did the black people call it? Don't they wouldn't they never mess with fireworks. You couldn't bring those things

Listen black people don't mess around with fireworks or cryotherapy Well, no, you'll never see a brother in a cryotherapy fucking thing. Oh my god Fucking hilarious that what they and it got the thing about china town is that every time and i'm talking about the one in new york I don't know one about san francisco Or l.a. And i'm talking about the the mid 70s That they'd be like little dealers on the corner and again, they would sell you the You know firework firecrackers bottle rockets

smoke bombs m. A's Cherry bombs was the general. Yeah Two cherry bombs maker m a right. There was a four. Yeah, yeah four cherry bombs Make a man and matey and four mateys is a quarter stick of dynamite Good to know so we'd fucking buy 20 at mateys And fucking i mean the things we did With those i mateys we blew holes and walls Just tie them together and then there was always one kid who knew how to fucking

Put everything together. He was missing a finger. Yeah, there was a kid on 140 a street that for like 10 dollars He would hold on to shit And let it blow up Hilarious he was missing fingernails He'd got his fingernail blown off one year from a fire Was that your was that your 10 dollars not really I just couldn't believe that he would hold fireworks Like he was like a vietnam vet or something

And he would let things blow up in his hands Fuck it Cherry bombs m80s and you had something stronger than the m80 the blockbuster the blockbuster Blockbuster was actually a quarter stick of dynamite. Jesus. And then you had the What's the thing that shot the balls that you shot people rocket launcher Like a little rocket. They call them something. Oh, you lick the top and balls came up Oh, yeah fire balls roman candle roman candle roman candle roman candles. We'd like young fire with a roman Every year we get a roman candle. We hated you if you didn't tip. Yeah, we'll give money

I'll give teeth the kids good. We would burn your roof We're over fucking candles. You know, be fucking roof. We burned a jaws caught and giving that service in 383 Because we wouldn't stop with the roman candles till we lit your roof off fire Listening to you guys makes me not want to have kids like just scares. Oh, this is what it is to be a kid Yeah, we we shot some bottle rockets into a field and it would start it on fire Yeah, they had to call the fire department put it out because it was it was in august or july it was hot and It just lit right up That's what fields do. Oh my god. We would make gasoline bombs with fireworks like Molotov cocktails

No, like Molotov cocktails and then leave a string of gunpowder to light on fire So it was fucking go down the block. I mean it was fucking nuts Oh my god, it was nuts growing up. We blow we blow up this guy's mailbox as kid We didn't like what a blockbuster quarter stick of dynamite. My sister was babysitting six blocks away and heard it She's like I went to the way I heard that I went to the window. I got we blew up his mailbox You'd still be in jail today for some of this stuff Like they they don't a lot like I don't think I've until I moved to la I didn't see fireworks or here like it was only like towns had firework shows

Because they were they were legal in in massachusetts. Nobody lit a firework on the street at the most I saw was sparklers I know I'm sorry I did when I was four exactly you just lie the sparkler stand there like a fucking half a fruit cake And wait for it to sizzle out. Yeah, we yeah when they sold out in a story like I that's lame Yeah, no, I'm sure some people had like they went to pennsylvania or west virginia or something But there was nothing that that I knew of jews don't buy fireworks I guess what a fucking and we used to go to south of the border We go to florida every year with the family in the vacation

It's still there. I I don't I I don't know It's gotta look like it's 1920 because when I was a kid It looked like it fucking see if south of the remember all those signs it Where is it north carolina south? I think it's south. I think it's the border in north carolina south If you drove from new york city to miami was the middle it was the middle like 12 hour drive there You stopped there and you got the rules are shitty So we'd stack up on all the fireworks there was shitty, but they'd sell fireworks and they had every sign every like 50 miles See I they they definitely have a

established 1949 Let me see where it is I think they have it Because they have a website Is it Was it a vacation spot? Or was it just a truck spot? There was a big truck stop big truck stop, you know, and I was pretty much and you'd go there

You would eat and the the main thing was the fireworks. Yeah south carolina. That's it. Yeah Interstate 95 that makes sense. Yeah, it's right off the highway going down to florida Do you ever just drive down there to get fireworks and drive back? No, because we could always get them in new york, so we didn't have to but if we were on a family vacation We would stop there and then we'd pick up a bunch of stuff There's a big gorilla up front. I don't know if you guys South of the fucking board. I forgot about that. I used to do those drives all the time when I was a kid New york city to miami and back with my uncles my mom. Yeah, and we always stopped the fucking south of the border

I remember the food. I got sick that Like that's why I remember south of the border because the food was just fucking godawful They had like generic hamburgers. Yeah, they have six restaurants. It says. Yeah, not not bueno Or it wasn't back then or I just got carsick or whatever. This is the time of the year like I haven't been to the shore in 30 years probably Like I have last time I was a seaside park Had to be like 98

People and I didn't go into water Have not been on the jersey shore. No asray park or any of that stuff when you go nothing 60 80s I was telling you before the show I went to convention hall last sunday to see like a wrestle match I took my kid there and his friend Nothing's changed same chandeliers Same everything right on the boardwalk in asray park. I thought they cleaned all that up Well, they they left that but they did but that in in that little indoor little mall where the convention hall is

It's still the same You know, they got a lot of shops and then more modern shops, but they never change anything Because it was historic so it's the same with the stonepony. They haven't changed anything Historic landmark cleaned up new work. Newark's cleaned up Well, people are moving to newark now because they can't because hoboken's full You know, we hawkins full jersey city is full right now So the truck so people of newark is now people that want to live in new york that can't afford it All these young people are moving now. I heard some of the views of the meadowland

That's the newt that already views in a metal no more views of the george warston bridge because there's no left Yeah, so now you have a view of the meadowlands That's the new thing when they sell a house now. What are you crazy? You got a view of the meadowlands. It's beautiful out there What the fuck wants to see that shit? Yeah I never understood that and when I was shooting this movie. They said that they shot scenes in newark And they go it's not good That even at night this was the good area and it was kind of crazy. Yeah, it's still bad. I mean like we're bad I didn't know that at all. I was excited to go to newark. Well, they got where the devils play it that uh,

Right the prudential center, right? I should know and they have concerts there Yeah, when you get off the train in newark off of new jersey transit They have like a a skyway where you never have to hit the streets of newark to get to the Prudential center They did that for the scared white people like all right Listen, we'll go to newark because we know we don't have to walk on the street to go if we take the train Was that bad or still that bad? It's still around that area. I just did a gig around there about a year ago. It's bad All right, but you know, they have a lot of cops in that area. So they make sure because one white person

You know gets killed there. No one's ever going to go there again. So they know They block off the streets. They make sure it's safe for people coming and out of those events there They have a bunch of shows there now too. So If people don't want to go to the garden or anything like that But yeah, so but just starting to build it up because there's no more room in new jersey and people I can't afford new york city Queens is full brooklyn full all that stuff. It's too expensive. So they're actually coming to newark now Which is crazy Everything is fucking full

Three weeks I was there. I never seen so many people my fucking life. Yeah, they got people on top of people They got people on that whole river road down there by you see all that shit that's there I mean, I used to live in, you know, cliffside park and the briar cliff that big building that was built in 1972 I was like the only high rise in that area That in the galaxy That was in west new york. Those were the only buildings and stuff and it's like I I didn't go back to for like 10 years and I went down. I'm like, holy shit. It's fucking crazy It's like 27 hundred dollars for rent for like a one bedroom

Like on the water there and people all that edge of water is the giants and the nicks and I saw nori by nature when I was down there to sing a track. I saw him down there You have c jim. You have that money Yeah, there's a money To live on that fucking thing now and all those that used to be rat and fester when I was a fucking kid So it's it was from what you said. Yeah rat and fester. Yeah, bro Yeah, I mean, it's just over to let me and norton me and jim norton wanted to move close to new york city And we got a place in cliffside park. We're paying 800 dollars. It was a two bedroom

For 800 bucks and I had my girlfriend at the time living there. So we're splitting rent Three ways 800 dollars a month It was fucking great as a shithole, but it was right in cliffside park It was five minutes from the lincoln tunnel 10 minutes from the george washington bridge. It was perfect That we just set shop up there. I love cliffside park. Yeah, it was great I love how quick you could be another I used to walk from cliffside to the bridge I can't believe what they did around the bridge There used to be a spot like a block from the george washington bridge

When there was a red light like that one above you in front of it and if that light was beeping That means fresh bagels were coming out of the oven Oh, dammit people would just fucking pull over and go in there and get a dozen Fresh bagels out of the oven the red light would just be blinking. I went up there. There's no more red light The only thing that's still there is the tower That the diner the fortley diner. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's it. That'll never go everything else is brand new And korean. Yeah And korean. Yeah, yeah

If you don't I blow english there if you don't speak chinese or korean You are done in fortley. Really? It's all korean. They took over Fortley pow park And ritrio park you're gonna have to try some kimchi now. No That's over. No, no, no, but it's everywhere. It's all korean that the the fortley saloon is gone Babes taxi that was right under the bridge is gone That is gone all those days are long gone The hip club up there was the fortley saloon. It was right on the side of george washington bridge. I asked my brothers. It's still there

gone truffles gone All those bars along they gone. It's a complete different fucking world And it's an expensive fucking world to to live up there I used to think I wanted to live in new york You do. Yeah I it seems it seems like it'd be for all the shitty parts like the rent and too many people It seems like like there's no other place. I'm 56 years old guys. How old are you 54?

You know what man? New york does nothing for me now. Really? Yeah, because i'm 54 years old. I can't take advantage of what it's got to offer I can't take advantage of what it's got to offer New york is a late city and not really not anymore not what I saw You know new york when I was growing up was a late city like when ari told me he was moving to new york I said go because you're not going to make it happen here the way you live in new york and he loves it When mitch headberg told me he was thinking about I go go Because if you're going to attack a certain

If if you can't sleep new york is for you Yeah If you don't like going to bed at one and you like being out at one, you know when I was shooting this we were in ridgewood brooklyn Is it ridgewood brooklyn or ridgewood queen queens? Ridgewood brook sure. Okay. There's a true story We were our call time was six sometimes So you have to break six hours after your call time

by law for lunch Sometimes the night it was one night. It was seven o'clock my call time And at one o'clock we had lunch and we had a drive from the set To the a place where we were eating like a downstairs of a church and it was maybe guys six block Drive on on myrtle street in brooklyn And i'm telling you this with fucking all the sincerity in the world there was more

businesses open At one in the morning along that route Then there are an all of fucking this area where we oh, yeah, there's nothing there was more restaurants open on that strip There was a vapor store Where there was open and they had 20 motherfuckers in there smoking fucking papers I'm from the fucking pain when we got to the place we were eating I was with the punisher and I looked at him and I go hey, man Did you notice that on the drive here or that fucking shitty street?

There was more businesses and a 10 mile drive open more places to eat hummus sushi Fucking a cheese steak place bodega's up the ass the hollow cafe was open All these things were open more than he and he goes imagine living up in and fucking Where's he live not ventura county? What's al-qai? What's the name of that? Oh Oh, hi, he goes imagine living in oh, hi

There ain't dick to eat after seven o'clock. There was more businesses open on myrtle avenue In a five minute drive than there was all of this at nine o'clock Like if I say to you at nine o'clock, you're hungry. What do we got? We got that shitty pizza Tony's pizza and you got denny's And you got all these shitty taco stands that you don't know what you're eating And with all the fucking horse deaths of san anita None of these places

With all these horses that are dying and san anita. What what what are we up to 30? Is she here and it's fucking june? It's not even june and 30 horses have died that meat's gotta go somewhere So if you're eating some food trucks in the LA area, I wouldn't fucking advise it So my point is that it's a late night city, right? You know, I have no use of being out at one in the morning I don't want if you got a spot for me in 1130. I'm not gonna do it. Yeah Some of them go, you know, due to a comedy solo. I remember doing it over the summer like 145

I'm like, I can't do this Dang, it's just too late for me. Yeah, it's too. I'm passed out. I used to do it all the time. My spot was 110 a.m Yeah, no, I used to do it too. No problem used to do it too. So I have no use For new york. I love new york. Don't get me wrong what I'm saying to you, but I have no use for new york I'm not gonna get in the fucking train and go do six spots on one night that that ship sound You know, I don't have the you know, if if If I have a spot in the city And I got to leave edge water and jump on a ferry and come over

That's gonna be a deep spot. Like you better think twice before you do So I have no use for new york in that way. I have to be honest with myself. Yeah, but me being 30 a young comic I don't like to sleep anyway Like I'm not gonna go to bed till four anyway. Like harry. I could call harry at one here And he picks up like nothing Hey, what's up? Nothing. What are you doing? I'm just sitting here. All right. Yeah, you know how many times I'm coming up over low Canyon 11 30 now call harry and he answers the phone like nothing happens 2 30 in the morning Yeah, I like staying up. That's what he lives for. You know, I don't have that use

Anymore, I don't I'm not gonna stay up told no because I remember coming living right outside new york in my hours I'd go to bed at three and get up around 10 or 11 So I could stay out it didn't matter but then you know as you get older and then you have a kid I'm like fuck that. I'm you know, I'm not doing a midnight show I'll do the 8 and 10 30 show at the stand or whatever like that and then I'm done I'm not running around doing seven different shows. I don't give a shit. I'm just gonna stay in one spot I'm not running. I'm not running a subway. Yeah, I'm not running a subway going here and getting here and running on stage It's like yeah, I'm good. I just need a couple sets

Even the store I do the 9 15 on saturday night 9 15. I won't do it I don't want to be at 11 o'clock and I got no use out there 10 30 maybe the latest On the tuesday 10 30 on thursday. That's it. I can't even imagine being out at midnight anymore It just changes as you can tell me I've always loved that. I was gonna add a second show at the boy god. I'm not It's an 11 o'clock show. Yeah, I'm not adding. I'm loving the clock show. Oh dang. Yeah, that would be late. That's not gonna happen That's not gonna happen. That means I don't get out of there till one or two

I don't go to bed till three and I'm on the first slide out. It's not worth it to me So it's just so weird out It gets to the point and it's not even being old. It's just You just don't see the use for it anymore. I don't have any use for it. I wish I did I wish I could stay out till one and I can't For a young guy. Yeah, there's some people that that That fits your lifestyle it fit my lifestyle 30 years ago Doesn't fit it today

You know when I was doing three four sets a night at 30 years old or whatever I was doing like the same material. I wasn't really working on it. It wasn't special to me. I'm just like, okay It's another set as you get older you'll do less sets, but it's more important to you. Okay. I need to work on these bits I got to go out on a road. I got to come out with new material So it's you really it wasn't doing just because I was doing more sets I wasn't advancing my career at all as you get older and then you realize I got I got I really got to focus on these bits. There's too many distractions when I was 30 I'm just trying to get pussy

You know what I mean after show is all that's the only reason I was doing it and I just oh the sets almost got in the way Well, would anything you learn how to work smarter? Yeah with anything in your life eventually you do it so long You go wait a second I have to learn how to work this smart, you know It's like I used to sit at a coffee shop for three hours Now I set that coffee shop for an hour and 15 minutes And I get done what I would have done in three hours In the old days now I could do it

I get up break for an hour And then come back You learn that if you sit there for three hours after an hour and I haven't got to do anything. Anyway, you know make phone calls You know look at something else. You know look at this on the computer. Fuck it So now I rather sit there for an hour 15 give it an hour 15 And then I go to cryotherapy and break it up go to the weed store and I go back to writing And I get more you learn from Was it what we're saying that you work smarter work smarter? Yeah, that's it when I was young too. I do 22 sets

A week, you know, yeah, that was necessary at the time But I could have done the same damage by doing 16 sets Five of those sets I didn't necessarily have to do but as a young comic you can't turn down anything No, you're in no position to turn down anything as a young comic Your first 15 20 years you can't turn down dick, you know, you're coming off a plane. They got a spot for you do it Now I got a family. I have age I have a lot of things that I have to give my time to It's hard. It's hard when you have a child, you know, your child full time pretty much

Three days a week you have to give them all the attention They could You know, people get mad at me. Oh, you don't get high online no more You know, I can't get high and late in the morning no more because I've got 22 things to do at 9 30 And I can't walk into these places that my eyes red I walked into the daycare once at four and they told my wife he's stunk like fucking weed I can't fucking walk into a school smelling like fucking weed. I got I got to deal with parents and whatnot So your priorities change so you learn how to work smarter

And at the end I wish somebody told me this when I was starting that it's working smart It's working all day But working smart I get more done in eight hours than most people do in a week I could do more than eight hours. I have everything written down. I just Spew it out. I'm done for the week. I love living like that. Yeah everything after my wednesday And the rest of the week I have nothing to do but maybe work out I got the same thing like my son goes to school

It's on the bus at eight he gets home at three off the bus. It's right in front of my house I know from eight to three. I got to get all my you got everything done I got everything done. So when he gets off that bus at three, it's all we'll just we're hanging Whatever he wants to do wherever he wants to go whatever. So I just don't get all that shit done I got that window Don't fuck it up and yeah by wednesday. I'm done with all my shit I got my kid monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday I'm doing gigs or I take the time off or do whatever and I get all my shit

Yeah, and I was never I never had discipline like that if you were never good in school with discipline I'm sure you weren't either you just got by you like whatever I cheated on Whatever I could just to fucking you know get C's and B's just to get by you it's tough to have that discipline later in life Yeah, you know what I mean like if you're a good student you will you know even your 20s You're gonna be focused and stuff. I was never I'm just like all right. I'll just I was just lazy about it. But then as you get older you realize all I got to have some structure And I that didn't teach me in school because I didn't care I didn't want to be there. I was disinterested You know some of the stuff I was interested in you know, but but most of the stuff I was I'm like

I don't give a shit this I'm never gonna need geometry ever in my life. I'm never gonna need algebra I don't give a fuck about this Would you have gotten into an art school when you were in high school if they have one available to you like Yeah, like right now where I went to high school to have a school you could go to yeah as a as a communications high school Yeah, they do podcasting they do plays they do a thousand fucking things and they don't have to take geometry You know, would you have gone to one without a doubt? I wouldn't I I didn't know I was why I went to commit there was a community college near me Brookdale community college and they had a communications course. They had tv

They had acting classes you make your own videos your tv thing. So I was like, that's where I want to go So when I got to college, I'm like, this is what I want to do. They had radio stations there You know local radio statements on campus to teach you all that stuff. So I loved it when I got there And that's when I really started applying myself. I get is what I want to do It does it makes a huge difference if you're interested in it if it if it's something that you enjoy Versus something that you feel like you have to I always enjoyed movies But I never saw me in them right like I always enjoyed movies and I had a secret uh

dream to be in movies But I just never thought I was good enough to get them or and I didn't know where to start I didn't know anything about an acting class. I knew nothing about casting people and nobody ever told me And I was always too scared to ask. I didn't know anything about it I just knew that I wanted to get into movies and then when I was 21 or 20 I met John link And he was a big time editor. He edited like above the law Commando I met him in Aspen and I became friendly with him and I would just tell him put me in a movie

And he would go are you fucking crazy? You were taught or I just can't put you in a fucking movie And then I met another friend of mine who had a friend that was a camera guy out here So I would torment him, but I never knew Anything about this shit. I didn't know how to get started who to ask I always thought stand-up comics Call the place and said hey, I'm coming down there Take me and that's especially I didn't know that there was any work involved. I didn't know they had a workout material I didn't know any of that shit

I just thought they went down into an hour just like that and just went home And that's the only time they would do it. I had no idea about what went into it Yeah, when I went to the college I started taking the acting class and because I'm like I wanted to be in that kind of my dad was an accountant and all that stuff and he was more of a numbers guy And that's what he wanted me to do. I'm like, that's not my thing My brother's in the real state. I'm like, that's not my thing either But when I I started acting in the radio and the tv stuff. I'm like, that's what I want to do So I started taking acting classes in college

I mean a couple of my buddies that I grew up with we all went to the same school We you know, we took the same classes. So we'd go commute. It was only like 20 minutes away from us And then we every acting Seeing that we do we always made sure we can drink in it because we were fucking So we'd always had that championship season I remember was one where to drink and we always take scenes where we're fucking getting drunk because you're allowed to do it And if that was part of the scene so we'd have to you know to wall pack a bud cans Fuck and then we'd be fighting and a lot shit. So it was great

And even that day, I remember the teacher calls out like every scene you guys do you guys are drinking I'm like, yeah, if we can drink at school, how fucking great is that? My buddy had a bad tooth my buddy Kevin He had a bad tooth and he bought a an eight pack of of a bud nips Into class and he didn't want to go to the dentist So he's drinking in the back of the class his bud nips to kill the pain in college And nobody said he had the eight pay you had the eight pack right on the table remember bud nips Oh, I love those and it's all fucking things are great six case. You got six

Eight packs in the case. Yeah six fucking eight packs. Oh my god. I love those nips. You know, I had a better one course Oh, they had the little ones too the little cans six ounces Oh, you had a little yeah, you could fucking freeze them They would stay colder and you could just Down in the one fucking and I hate beer I hated beer back then really that's all we drank and I would buy an eight pack of course And just crack it and just drink it in one fucking sip didn't even taste like beer That's why I always love Colorado when I taste the course. I'm like, what is that?

I gotta get out the fucking Colorado. They know what the fuck Nice they used to because but why but why is it makes the eight ounce nips? Miller made them too. Yeah, they did Miller had them. It was fucking horrible horrible being But the best beer I used to like nips was loam brow Loam brow Loam brow used to make with that tin foil on the fucking cap. He used to good friends tonight is kind of special Loam brow So what the fuck you doing in town really crank edges?

Yeah, crank edges is coming back after 12 years on comedy central. That's cool We had a run from 2002 to 2007 it got canceled Who is out with you jimmy came a lot of coral that they started the show Because they were they they were on the man show at the time So the man show was kicking ass on comedy central and they go. Hey, we have an idea to do prank calls and recreating with puppets So they gave them said comedy central gave them six episodes right off the back guaranteed them which is rare Before even had said a guy and then They heard my shit on howard sternix. I had these prank calls said mess would turn around with telemarkers

He was playing like we want that dude To be on our show And I remember my manager told me go. Hey man. They want this is new show on comedy center They're gonna make prank calls with puppets and they like your calls. They don't want you to be part of it I'm like that's fucking that's probably the worst idea ever all as I thought about is my comic friends making fun of me Though I'm gonna be on this show. It's gonna be fucking horrendous He's like look the guaranteed six I go I'll do it, but I'm gonna get fucking shit That's all I thought and the the show just took off

And I was the only unknown comic to do it everybody, you know, they just heard my shit like, you know It was sarah silberman jimmy adam corolla dave ship hell tracy morgan wander sikes You know dane cook Dennis leary david tell kevin kneelen and I was like the like I was plucked out of a obscurity at that time And that fucking my career just took off from that just from making prank calls I could be wrong, but that was like my height of Like comedy central back then was the channel it seemed like it was huge because we were on right after south park right before John stewart so it was a perfect spot on tuesday nights

Yeah, that was a big that was a big show. I love that show So yeah 12 years later. They just decided it's gonna come back 20 episodes on comedy central subs out here 20 episodes So I just did a whole recording session just the other day out here I'm gonna go back do some more but because I do two characters on the show. So that's fucking great I'm like I'm a middle-aged man making prank phone calls I was burping in their phone two days ago drinking a diet coke and burping And I'm like, this is fucking this is beautiful. How is my son ever gonna go to college?

How can I ever tell him to go the union energy education? It's great now. I gotta bring back the heavy metal show That's what I'm hoping because viacom's bringing back all these old shows like on mtv and all this stuff because they realized That they just you know got rid of all these shows that were pretty popular and then Put new shit on they have none of their shows have gotten ratings in years So now mtv comedy central and hopefully vh1 does it at some point brings back shows that actually got ratings So you never know if that that metal show comes back because that was part of biacom family on vh1 They just got rid of it

Dumped it and you know, it was a corporate thing Viacom was losing a ton of money Nickelodeon was their cash cow and kids just started watching fucking cartoons and iPads and and shit like that So they stopped watching there and that was it and then when john stewart left and then uh Stemical bear left that hour or you know, whatever that window to comedy central's ratings just went the shitter And that was part of biacom So when they came in they just got rid of the whole vh1 classic channel and our show was the only original show on there So it wasn't because we weren't getting ratings. They just needed to make major cuts

How long was the heavy metal show on 12 years, right? No, it was on for eight years 130 episodes. We did It was insane It's the greatest because they would just it was the only original program So it's just on constantly like if you look at true tv and practical jokers is on all day All night and that's the exposure we got on vh1 classic So it was perfect for us because we were constantly on tv every time you turn that You know, there was another show on with slash or whoever we had That's awesome. Yeah, so but look, I mean, that's you know, it's an obscure

That music is not that popular so it couldn't be on a regular channel couldn't be on fox after the voice Well, you know if we're interviewing, you know, l.a. Guns or something like that. That's it's a small market for that So that channel was perfect. It was a little shitty channel channel like 361 on vh1 on your, you know, direct tv No one bothered us there. No one give it gave a fuck. There's no more music shows though really on tv Yeah, you got the voice and all that shit, right? But yeah, I want to see that as much as I want to see fucking point You know what i'm saying? I don't want to see that. Yeah You know, I grew up on the midnight special. I grew up on don curses rock concert I grew up on fucking the american bandstand

They had time for all these types of shows soul train How long was fucking soul train soul train still on now? No, but no don cornelius is dead and buried But now it's like I want to see a show where they they just got rid of what's his name show didn't they? He just taped his last show Then that was a music show young bands at night mbc. Oh karsten daily karsten daily, right? Yeah, he's gone Well, do you think because before it used to be like 18 to 36 was like the big Age group you needed to get do you think it's getting older? like maybe like 28 to 48 like like those people who still have cable and

Like because like those are the people who used to watch crank anchors and are gonna watch it again now that's coming back out Like I think maybe like the young kids that just like they're not watching tv So let's make stuff for people who actually are but you know if a band release a video They'll still they'll get like you know three million views in a day and a half if they're popular You know it's on youtube. Yeah, they're watching it tomorrow. So people are still watching it You know big like why would you make a video anymore? No one's watching they are I mean you you look at like the slipknot has a new video at this 45 million views after a week You know so you people will still see it, but I think it's

I think you know music's not important to people's lives is way too many distractions if we had these phones When we were kids we probably wouldn't have been in the heavy metal We wouldn't be sitting in on a friday night reading a back at a lyrics of a black Sabbath record because we were bored We had nothing else to do they got so much distraction on that phone. They don't give a fuck about music You know what I mean because they got this there's too much. There's too much information there. There's too much entertainment on that So the music's not important to people anymore So that's why there's no there's not going to be a music show because nobody really gives a shit You know the young generation like ah, it's just music whatever

Look, I you know, I could text but you know six of my friends Right now we're in a mass text just fucking bullshitting back and forth people don't go to Dorthman From Nashville was telling me he went to see the Grateful Dead in Boulder That was just a bunch of rich rich kids with dead shirts on Didn't know the music didn't know anything. It's like Coachella a bunch of people go to those shows They don't know what's going on. They just go to walk around. They pay a thousand bucks. Yeah, whatever it is for those fucking tickets

They do whatever drugs they do and they just fucking walk around I don't know. I don't know what happened to music. I can't put You know, it's Listen, I'm I'm happy for guns and roses like I'm happy for all those bands that are still touring But isn't it fucking weird that 30 years later? I mean This is it

We have guns and roses. That's it. I mean you went to see bob sega Elton john's making this goodbye fucking tour run But and bands are touring. I mean, that's the only way for them to make money They're making a fortune vip's now that you have heard the figure that kiss made so far this year Yeah, they the first leg or a second like a first leg or like 57 million A fucking amazing Yeah, they're grossing like over a million dollars and now all the bands are doing the bip packages If you want to meet them because they're not getting the record sales anymore

You know, so they're not getting that money from from everyone buying a million people bands would sell a million copies in the first week You know, they they hit plat a goal that puts us 500,000 sales Every like judas priests have put a record out in 1986 within two weeks. It was already they sold 500,000 now The only bands that will sell 500,000 or a million records are like kanye Jay Z to foo fighters and you know a couple of the bands. That's it. No one sells that many records You're lucky to sell 100,000 when you would sell 2 million. You're lucky to sell 250,000 So they charge extra for the tickets. That's why the concert tickets are so much and they have a bip thing If you want to meet the band before get a picture with them

Sometimes they'll they'll do you can go to the soundcheck sabbath had a thing last tour their last tour where you can watch the sound check It was part of a vip package And so they would deal with they play like three songs, which is great I mean, I knew to I got hooked up so me and jim norton went and we watched the sound check my I took my son to see the sound check he fucking saw iron man It was me jim norton my son and like five other people was fucking great So that's that's how to making money these bands, but that's why all these bands are out there You know because there's so much money to be made

So they're gonna keep touring all these old bands like holy shit. Look at this Elton john I paid 350 bucks for a ticket bob seager I paid 310. Well, you're looking forward to see this summer Anybody that's coming around that, you know, I've seen everybody a million times I'm getting to the point where you know rob zombie and maryland man center torn. I'll see that I'm a big slipknot fan. I really like the energy in that band. I've been and my son loves them. It's his favorite bands We're gonna go see them. I'm gonna go see ted newton is playing right near my house Uncle ted where he's playing at the starland ballroom in sarahville, new jersey. Oh shit. Yeah

Yeah, so I can't wait. I saw him about two years ago. He's great. He doesn't really talk politics in a show You know, he says but it's just fucking, you know opens up with you know, free for all Goes into dog eat dog. Fuck it. It's phenomenal. It was the last time you saw about two years ago I saw the bb kings in new york city and he was phenomenal phenomenal So great and you're going to see the stones going to see the stones yet. Where are they just stones are playing Met life stadium where the giants and jets drop for the tickets. I didn't get a ticket yet. They're playing two nights So I'll just you know, I'll get them the couple the day of or I looked last week there up there Yeah, you go on stub hub. I'll get them. I usually get tickets off stub hub

You know, I'll get them there and then you know a couple days before or whatever So yeah, I'm gonna go see this. I saw the stones already, but you know, this the mix 75 so I'm gonna go see them. I'm gonna see slipknot Corn and Alice and chains a tour in the summer So I'll probably go see that show nothing that really sticks out For me. I know who's Judas Priest out with or they're not Um, they're they're doing a bunch of festivals. I just this festival down in north Carolina

There's a new band that I saw it down in north Carolina. I liked this band called dirty honey to ride a los angeles They're across between like old arosmith a little zeppelin and guns and roses They just have an e p out. They're really good. I saw them at some festival a couple weeks ago They got some heat. They only got five songs out, but they got that old school sound The key is what like there's a band Greta van fleet that sounds like zeppelin if the young kids can get into these These new rock bands because the kid the guys are young and the band are 21 22 If this new generation of kids can get into it that will bring that music that music back Right now you got a bunch of middle-aged dudes going to watch 20 year olds play shit. That sounds like zeppelin

You're not getting a younger generation not getting a 17 18 year old kids That are into the band Greta van fleet who are selling like 6 000 tickets They sell out in two seconds, whatever and there's all these other young bands So if you get that young generation into that rock the rock music will come back You need that because someone's gonna have to do that Like it's just you know, when you go see guns and roses Yeah, maybe you'll bring your kid because they know paradise city and welcome to the jungle But that's what that's what we we're growing up. You know our old abroad my older brothers got me into that stuff

So we got into a young You know acdc and going all those shows but right now any new band That's coming out. That's got some heat. That's pretty good. It's just middle-aged dudes Going to say I went to bands. I like I still love music. I mean 60 percent of my day is music relay. I'm music out of the house or whatever But for me going to concerts was a social thing Like it was before my buddies and we planted and we got a bag of reefer and god knows what else It was a social thing. Yeah, you know

Again now i'm gonna go see the stones maybe up in pasadena and august. I'm not sure yet but I don't know if it's that much of a social thing for kids anymore Like we were up on that like I went to see prince for 15 bucks at a club like The kids I grew up were into that. I had kids I had friends that That's what they did like moricia alvarado. That's what he does He goes to concerts every night. He goes to see whoever. He don't give a fuck if it's a rita franklin death lepid divo Punk, you know when you're just a fan of music

Like I was a fan of music. You said something interesting that was earlier Growing up you had the jocks in the heads I grew up with jock heads Like we lifted weights We ran We ate good, but we also snored a coke and fucking smoke. Oh, yeah, so we didn't art. I went to concerts Like we were one of those people we we would lift before we go to a concert Like yeah, we're gonna lift those six go home take a shower and then go to the concert get a grandma blow

Like we did all that shit, but we were combination head jocks Like there was no heads and they didn't like the jocks. No, we smoked dope and we fucking Tackled people. Yeah, we know it was the jocks and the burnouts the burnouts That's what they call the guys that smoked outside the smoking section in between class We were the burnouts We were guys with the ozzy shirts and the Judas priest shirts And then the jocks were the guys that all played sports and they usually got the hot chicks We get some of those burnout chicks. There would be a couple, you know, it came from a broken home

You know what I mean and like I cool, you know, and there wasn't that many of them But uh, you know, so but the jocks always got the hot chicks and we're just you know, we're wearing concert shirts every Every day to school. You know, no girls like yeah, I don't even know what Judas priest is. You're just weird How were your show last night with crazy kate? It was great. I love kate. How's crazy kate doing this? She's she's doing she seems very zen. She seems like she you know No, I love kate man. I got a special place in my heart for her. She's she fucking she's out there You know what I mean busting her ass every night. She's like a dude. She just fucking I don't care Give me a stage. Give me a stage. No problem. I'll do my jokes doesn't bitch. There's low maintenance

She sees it for what it is. Yeah, low maintenance on the road Does it just a guy that this is what I got to deal with this is what I got to deal with, you know Hecklers, whatever. So uh, yeah, it was great You know, when do you go back to the big bad fucking apple? I'm going back tomorrow. Well tonight on the red eye. That's it going back. I gotta say a show would say i'm triply tonight We're doing some uh, I don't know some naughty show thing somewhere You know hit a red eye. I got my boy tomorrow Let's hang out. It's fucking great. Yeah

And what are you doing for the summer beside these shows? You're going down the show at all Yeah, we got a family vacation in long beach island. We rent the house every year our family got one like right on the beach We all chip in the seven of us and all the kids and all that stuff No, no parents, but you know, my brothers and sisters their kids You know, so uh, it'll be the first year my mom passed away in november 80 years old Said I was like, you know, this will be the first vacation without her which you show You know, she always loved it and helped run and all that stuff, but you know Um, but yeah, it's great and the kids, you know, the beach is right there. We're in long beach island

They got the fucking rides and all that shit. So it's gonna be great And the concerts and then my boys will just hang out, you know, I don't put them in In a camp or anything like that. I'm like, no, you play with your friends on the fucking block You wake up at nine in the morning. I'll see you in a few hours You hang on my house. They hang out their house like that. It's fucking great. They got sleepovers and all that shit, you know They're in my basement going crazy Hold your boy. No, he's eight. I'll turn to nine. Yeah, that's a great fucking crazy age. Oh, yeah Fireworks this year. Uh, no, yeah, I got, you know, they'll actually sell them at the Walmart in Jersey

They'll sell not like the crazy stuff a lot of shit that shoots in the air So you buy a whole thing of like a hundred bucks and we'll blow it. We'll, you know, shoot the stuff up in the air He loves it. Yeah Yes, we wait till it's nighttime. We shoot it up. So we get a bunch of it all the time. He loves it Yeah, I don't know Probably not, you know Like a pack of fireworks. I remember being like 35 35 cents. Exactly. And it was like 20 25 Yeah, I'd bang him out for a dollar. The the sticks were 50 cents. Bang him for a dollar

We buy a big bag of weed off this dude. Yeah Yeah, my brother's friend was dealing in high school He would just come in a brown bag or just weed and just be you know Selling out to people right in the right in the hallway and then we buy it and then we roll up joints and we sell the joints for three bucks You know, I mean we make like two bucks on the joints We'd sell 10 for you know, you know, because we're like, come on man. I'm like, hey man It's 10 joints 22 dollars because usually a joint was a dollar back in the day. Yeah So we get like 22 bucks for 10 joints

Dude, you're gonna buy it off some guy in the street. You're gonna go to new york to get this shit You know, yeah, give me the fucking money. There's no seeds in the country And then we'd walk to 7 11 with a bottle of southern comfort and drink it along the way and go buy porno magazines Yeah Yeah, high school. Yeah, grandma's school. Who gives a fuck around eight ninth, 10th grade I smoked my first weed at 12 years old I was at a concert and they were passing along. That's what they did. It just passed it along my brother's with me I'm like, can I he's like, yeah, right? I'm fucking I was high at 12

It's beautiful what date you got coming up anything good uncle Vinny's june 1st point plus new jersey We were talking about that before and I'll see you august you'll be around Yeah, I'm gonna be around I'm not going back to jersey till august. I only fly in that day. Yeah being dc that friday So I don't even get that. I think yeah, that's I'll be down there Um, I'm gonna come down that night. You're an august 10th and my comedy special. I got the house is out What did that come out? That came out a couple months ago. You could stream it on amazon prime or it's on itunes It's all about my divorce and you release it yourself. I release to myself for you. You don't need to own a whole fucking thing Yeah, you don't need that doesn't matter

I tell people it's everywhere but netflix and I don't care like if I can't get a netflix deal It doesn't matter and you own your shit. You know how much money you're gonna make on this shit when you own it five 10 years from now People fucking will find you when they'll find it they get everybody can find it And my podcast is uh every monday comedy metal midgets That's a podcast. Yeah, that's what no, that's what it's called. My podcast is called comedy metal midgets My serious show is called metal midgets. Now, when does the serious show come out every thursday? Okay, and they replayed a few times during a week. I said, I'm lost but I usually catch it on serious

Like I said last sunday I caught it and you played something tremendous by priest. I was like Fucking that's tremendous. I forgot about it. I think it was one of the One of the songs from the live album unleash in the studio though I think it was oh, maybe run and wild something you played it was something priestly, right? But fuck it always a pleasure to have you. Thank you, man. Thank you very much for coming out I want to thank jim florentine for coming on the show and don't forget mother fuckers Tickets are almost sold out for june 1st at the ice house working out with uncle joey We also have the film war theater new orleans on june 7th

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You don't even gotta leave the house. All right, so I want to thank manscape. I want to thank on it But most importantly, I want to thank you guys on memorial day For making this podcast fucking a savage that it is and most importantly for listening and for supporting us So I want to thank jimmy. I want to thank the fucking christ killer But I want to thank you motherfuckers for always being solid. I'll see you back here thursday morning Ready to rock It's the end of the month bitches get your shit together if you're gonna be alive This is the week to do it now go get yourself one kick this motherfucker muley

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