Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #688 - Mo Amer
Episode Date: May 30, 2019Mo Amer, a stand up comedian with a new special available on Netflix and an actor seen on "Ramy," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  ... CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies go to CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.  Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your portable bidet.
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it's a beautiful day to be alive my little brother Moa me is in the house
the Christ killers in the house and your uncle Joe is here right here it's all
about the motherfucking Benjamin's or whatever the fuck you got
wanna be bowlers shot callers bowlers who be dipping in the bins with the sport
what's up from the Jake in the tour oh shit to get my hands on some grants like
Horace living in a raw deal three-course meal spaghetti, fettuccine and beer
but still things real in the field and what you can't have now leave in your will
but don't knock me for trying to bury seven zeros over in Rio de Janeiro ain't nobody zero
but I wanna be heard what are you fucking nuts or what I mean that gets you
lit you know you I forgot about the song that's a great song it's a great song
like 98 that's it that was right before big daddy fucking the man of steel 97
you're right and he's seven what's up Tarzan what's up great that welcome Moa
me to the show first time I've known Mo since we were fucking since he was a
kid I was an old man no you were an old man how long have you been doing comedy
for now professionally 20 it'll be to June will be my 20 anniversary
professionally the first time I did stand-up was in 95 I was a 14-year-old
doing high schools right after my father died and I was skipping school and
my English teacher was like don't you want to be a comedian she's again stop
fucking skipping school you're too smart I let you do stand-up in class and I was
like no fucking brainer so she changed my life that's crazy how a teacher I had
a teacher it's kind of fact I'm doing the boy got August 10th and a friend of
mine calmly goes guess who's going to see on August 10th Mr. Lovito Mr. Lovito
was my sixth grade teacher amazing and he made a deal with me shut the fuck up
during the week and Fridays I'll let you go up in class and do material I
wouldn't even do material would sing yeah Frankie Valley songs like a ruffle
shirt on and I try to crew the girls they tell me to get the fuck away from
them you should get the fuck I'm nasty fucking hilarious I used to so I did
like stand-up one night I was just like in class I would write the material and
do the stand-up and then I started freestyle so I would go grab a little
jacket from from wardrobe in the theater department I'll come back to the
class and we're doing impression of Chris Farley and I would just roast the
class as Chris Farley I did that like several times I did three shows in one
day my Spanish teacher got me out of like three classes that day so I could do
all our other class three shows in one day all my classes it's amazing what
teachers if they really like pay attention their students and they and
they push you and they drive you they literally changed my life did you go to
college I didn't know I saw that scam a long time ago I didn't high school right
into right into right into stand-up right from Sam was the first club you
performed that first club was the laugh stop the first comedy cuz last time I
was sitting my mom forced me to get a job I was running this fucking flag
company so flags and I was reading the Houston press on the back of it it said
Houston's funniest person competition at the last I was the same day was like
the deadline was June 9th I was like oh shit so I went and ran to the comedy
my buddy took me Nick who stole my dear friend to this day that I grew up with
and corny as shit he was like you ready this is the first day the rest of your
life and it was we walked in I signed up to the list I learned about it the
system oh there's open mics is what you do blah blah blah and I was like oh my
god all my materials like geared high schools I gotta rewrite this shit and I
went up at the Houston's funniest person competition and actually Scott Kennedy
was hosting Sean Rouse went up that night may they both rest in peace man so
there's both those guys were there that night and I started learning about
stand-up and I went to the comedy showcase you know it is just evolution
you got to really want it what you use this it's 99 yeah I think you're gonna
say you won the competition I was like oh my god no no no I made like the wild
card I was I was good like right out of the gate I did pretty well right out of
the gate and I made like the wild card thing or whatever and then the next year
I made the finals then I realized the competitions are just stupid and you
just need to go and work on your craft and go on the road and you know Danny
Martinez at the comedy showcase took matters Wayne who who also like mentored
Ralphie May and the T. Sean Shannon and all these guys that came up the black
chick I mean the black yeah oh my god see if at all yeah exactly so many cats
came out of there Shayla Rivera as well it makes you want to cry like it makes me
want to cry yeah when I think about what Houston meant in my comedy life
right like how big I was seen and how fun Houston was like how much fun it said
it really was like you really it but now Ralphie's gone and Sean Rouse are gone
and half the people I did comedy for that town are no longer even involved in
comedy but for a moment in time it was like the comedy store yeah and forget
about Monday nights Monday night oh my god that open mic was amazing fucking
just you know for people don't know like 99 98 to 2000 something yeah Houston was
my midway point right because it was just a party yeah absolutely it was just a
party and it's hard to explain the people what it was like to like I did
comedy air like I would go down there like let's say how to go though I would
book a pastel froggy bottoms oh my god froggy bottoms and look book you know
Midland and Odessa yeah yeah all these fucking places in Texas six weeks and
I'd base myself out of Houston had sleep on Jody's couch right whoever had a
fucking couch in those days so Sunday Monday Tuesday and Wednesday I'd be in
fucking Houston just eating smoking no Mondays was the last stop Tuesdays was
there's like red yurts right here I think it's going on and there's the the the
Greek restaurant the Greek restaurant forgot the name of it Monday night was
out of the place last stop you want to cross the street to the corner with
Jody red yurts bartender no red yurts yes yes shit my days like Sherlock so
Monday's is that yeah Tuesday's was that fucking definitely red yurts definitely
the Greek restaurant upstairs on Wednesday Wednesday was there was the Greek
restaurant on Wednesday nights and then Thursday was my mongols rock mongol
friends room in Pasadena Texas you had the black company showcase as well
couple that started Beaumont oh that's right cuz the first people who had that
club were a nice black couple they were engineers oh you know what I don't think
I ever met them 99 98 yeah I did Beaumont though definitely Hilton back
there they have the room Hilton in the back and Slade ran out for a hop in it
Slade ran that and then they moved it into a bank called a comedy Texas yes that
was a fun role right oh deed yeah is it really oh yeah my face was meant for a
week so I would basically go to Houston I would just fly to use you know and then
for a month that's where I met you first yeah the last time I could never I'd
still to this day I remember I really used to I came out and said I walk in a
hobby airport what a fucking mess hobby airport is this fucking price to came up
place me for like 20 I said they bitch I got $2 in a match you know that was like
one of the lines you would always look me like most I fucking around you to come
there like got miles to brownie over there fucking doing these things you come
out there you fucking blow it out of the water what the fuck you doing you like
come over to stop fucking waste your time I remember I remember to this day
bro I've been waiting for this moment to sit down and talk to you about it for a
really long time and the first time I met you met you was really through Jody
when you were doing shows with Rogan and he was I think it was like fresh off of
like a few years separated from news radio I think he just kind of finished
that runs all kind of starting to settle down after Phil died and all that stuff
it's been like four years maybe at that point max I think and then he was just
getting into that show fear factor and all that and that's why I met you and
we all hung out and did it and you were like I'm leaving the airport next day I
was like you know I got to take Joey so you pump me up so much you like you like
made me want to be more aggressive even my stand which I was already insane you
know doing as many spots as possible staying up till 3-4 o'clock in the
morning getting up and going to this fucking flag shop till I could get out
of it and start doing it full-time but you're a big motivator in my life and I'm
very happy that we actually get to sit together and have this conversation man
sketch up if I came from a market in Denver where there wasn't a lot and I
wanted to fucking do stand up right there's nothing like wanting to do
something and being held back you know Boulder had poetry readings had the
comedy works on Tuesday which only gave you spots once a month and then there was
a kid Jimmy a beta that gave you love and there was another guy on Saturdays
that the show started 11 yeah and you'd have to drive an hour go up and tend to
yeah open Micah that's very hard to comprehend at that point of course so I
was frustrated so I did what any other open Micah does I became acquainted with
my fucking car and put it in my mind that I had a drive to do spots I would
have to go like two hours on a Tuesday to go to what's his name's room and two
hours back after your bomb yeah I would have to go to Cheyenne Wyoming and do
comedy when I went to Seattle there was just so much action yeah I was gonna say
you spent time in contrast to where I was from when I met you know you and I
both know this yeah there was that much the thing that Houston had over a lot
of other cities was the support the support of the community at that lab
spot right stop Monday nights I'm sorry I keep saying lab spot yeah a comedy
showcase you know you think of if you really sit down and I'm not here to
insult anybody no telling you the facts yeah of course if you sit down and you
count the talent that was in Houston in 98 or 2000 it was mind-boggling yeah
first of all you had to have a new five minutes every time you went on stage
Monday's or you would get tortured the comics yeah if you're not trying new
shit all the time they would torture you yeah the comics and that curse torture
joke yeah yeah would you do it three times in a row yeah let's breathe a
little bit and you're like listening to open micers motivate you at first you
want to strangle somebody when they say that yeah yeah what that telling you was
the fact you should have left that joke three weeks ago you should have worked on
that in Conroe right or in fucking somewhere else but here at the open
my yeah show but a new five every fucking week right so the pushing was
there you had Matt Kersh you had fucking Scott Kennedy was from Houston as well
Scott Kennedy's a beast you imagine Scott Kennedy being gay in that era and
talking about what that come from can you imagine you know in Texas oh my god
that gay neighborhood where he was yeah Montrose yeah yeah he was the king of
Montrose yeah if you walk down Montrose the Scott Kennedy yeah people would
yeah he was one of the funniest people I saw he was a very sweet out of a guy
he was at the store yeah I still look in the kitchen sometimes and miss him
walking in with his jersey yeah with his foot with his hat on like a little young
soldier yeah right I'm gonna go back to my house I'm gonna show you how to get
fucked in the ass he would pull him right out of San Diego 100% he didn't give a fuck
he'd go right on the army base and salute people yeah oh he was in the army
no okay but he did a lot of military last time I saw him was in Iraq he gave
me a coin and I'll never forget that he was like thank you he was a great guy
but every once in a while you catch him yeah you have a little 18 year old
recruits confused from Houston he didn't really know look at me and give me a
100% 100% 100% at first open mic I was at he was hosting it and he or he went
up you know he was hosting it and he my buddy was now like a fright flight
director at NASA you know at the time he was like 18 19 years old he was like
come on come over I'll suck your dick like you never suck your dick before and
my friend is Italian is white but he just his face turn right you imagine at
that time he was doing that kind of material in Texas like it was just it
would blow that mean the room would just you can't follow you couldn't follow him
he was be he was so powerful and so crass and so but just had the like the
right touch and seasonings to be able to get away with it too it was just very
funny to see a white guy with a fucking fooboo jersey with a rainbow I was gonna
ask with Scott Kennedy and then he said fooboo it's like was he black no he was
white guy yeah it was Jewish just like a chubby white guy with with with a
fooboo jersey and I think he had like a rainbow patch on it hilarious was like
what are you doing yeah it was so funny but it works for him Houston like I
thought even after I had been a regular up here like you have to know where you
stand in life right you have to know you stand in comedy and I remember going on
open the first time I went to Houston I opened the slate hmm and it was a hallow
weekend cold women it was fucking crazy and then they talked me into staying on
Monday like you're not staying Monday I'm like no oh yeah you gotta say you gotta
stay I said I don't know and they're like fucking stay that's a fun you're
gonna fucking be enlightened I walk down 200 people in the fucking it was
200 audience or 200 comments 200 audience well I mean there's like yes they
have so many comedians 60 comics it was from 7 to 2 yeah all these guys are
trying you know they really want to get into the last stop and they would bring
all their friends and they would pack out and the guys back down again right
audiences yeah fucking $2 beers or something yeah you would get fucking lit
yeah Monday night for everyone listening open mics in LA have zero
audience is there a audience in most cases man most cases open mics is like
other comics are you know sitting in the back that's it and there's like one or
two people in front I mean that's it right most of the time it's crazy there's
like a real room if you build an open mic as a train wreck that's when it
becomes an open mic that's what people enjoy right people don't really want to
go up and see 15 guys do six minutes they want to see a train wreck and that's
the aspect I didn't know about open mics I learned that in Seattle right
Seattle's big Monday and Tuesday was a train wreck because you had people that
were in comics you had a lot of hobbyists exactly that were crazy in their
real life right they came in there like a fan or oh god those type of yeah yeah
yeah there's one guy we couldn't wait to watch every time and he's everyone he was
the worst he was the worst that I've ever seen his name is Larry Simon he was a
the real estate agent I'll never fucking forget this guy and I was like
maybe you just have to go filthy bro I don't know what to tell you just be
filthy and the next week I see him on set and everybody's going nuts in the
room like what's going on you see Larry Simon talking about some really
filthy shit I was stuck in her ass you know it was awful it was a horrible job
executing whatever he was doing I was like I don't think he really understood
what I was trying to tell him I just let it go completely naked on stage last week
like completely took their dick out there's like completely naked Doug
stand up I think did that one time but then I'm like yeah well he did also did
it in the following week right away on one day was where he shaved his bow I had
a waitress shave on stage yeah on stage had a waitress come up and shave his
balls and he was at the last stop the following week and it was that Monday
night did it again he was just like I forgot what's her name a waitress so we
were just talking about the other day door waitress was a Dory was a door
the girl from was a cute Dory Dutton's chick that moved to London London yeah
she's always give you ass and shit every time you bumped into hold on I have
something brownies or fucking yeah pills she was very sweet she was great
energy I just saw on Facebook a couple days ago but the girl what were we
talking about the last time I shaved Doug stand up walls I just told the
story about her she was a great kid yeah she was a cute yeah cute and a great
kid and she moved here she got a job at La Jolla at the comedy store but she
also did magic oh well her father raised her in the circus
hilarious she was raised in the circus so she was very hip and then she started
getting some momentum with comedy in San Diego she moved to New York and she was
kind of booking Sal's comedy hole this is what sounds like 2004 yeah 2005 and
then Sal's clothes and came out here and she came out with Sal but at the time
they were doing a show called magic with the stars and she shot the pilot because
she was such a great magician well she ate fire and all that shit so while they
were shooting it then ABC picked it up and they were gonna shoot magic with the
stars where magician teaches a star magic while they were shooting the pilot
they put them up at the magic hotel oh no she was kind of cute oh she was kind
of flirty I'm not saying anything bad right one of the camera guys broke into
her room at night raped her in the middle of night what the fuck she had a
press charges the news the show got canceled no more magic with the stars
fucking ABC found out the hardware magicians are creepy people people yeah
and fucking what was the cameraman there was a camera man a PA something raped
and she had to come back and go to court holy shit ABC paid her off yeah keeping
hush hush yeah well they paid her money for what had happened like she's I guess
she ended up suing ABC right and reliable at that point yeah she lives in
Idaho she had a she has a husband a kid amazing and somebody from LA moved up to
be with her like she was tight with somebody from LA a gay guy I just forget
his name and then all started by shaving Doug Stanham's balls she lost that job
right at that comedy club she was very sweet and very nice she always was she
always she liked dirty comics and she liked this because how she grew up the
circus everything else I mean come on let you fucking swallows fire I mean it's
just not gonna be I've been thinking the last couple years I don't know where to
start I don't want to step on anybody's toes and most importantly I didn't want
to hurt anybody's feelings but I always wanted to do a documentary of the Houston
comedy scene and what it meant right at that time because say what you want about
Babbit that club was on fire the club was on fire he did he was the best and
worst thing that right he was the best and worse than that happened to all those
kids yeah all those kids yeah too I was seeing it so the thing that I had I
remember watching the things unfold I was like I don't think I'm gonna make
much progress if I just stay here like as a comedian and what I want to do and
try to accomplish and to me that the comedy showcase was the spot where you
really got the work in and you really learned the tool and Danny was very open
and share with me he was like gonna be my last student I feel like you can I mean
he really literally told me it's still alive yeah yeah thank God he's doing great
man he's doing good you know he had to have a kidney transplant Peggy gave him a
kidney I knew something really amazing and it took and he's doing great but
what he did for the Houston comedy club scene like the comedians like really
that took time and went over there and and pushed all their shit aside and
really use that room to really grow and everything he taught me about the road
and how to build that he said you'll be a star in 20 years are you ready to are
you I'm not gonna waste my time if you don't have that plan and I'm about to hit
20 now I just got my Netflix especially he was he was spot on on everything that
he taught me like from technical standpoint to what I should do and what
I expect on stage and and all these things that you need as a comedian all
these tools you need as a comedian and that was like the best thing that happened
to me and Babbit was great for the comedy club scene and bringing people in
and bringing all the acts in and really doing it but what he did that he didn't
understand was that you can't take comedians that have a really solid
future and rush them and take them to LA and take them to London and and there's
one comedian in mind that I have Ben Mowbray who's really talented and really
brilliant guy and I feel like you didn't he didn't give him a chance to mature and
and really you know grasp what it takes to be a comedian and before you put him
up in front of all these people and you you know in the end he ruined the club
man see the movie punchline I did yeah punchline it was the movie I watched to
make me pick up the phone right like I knew about comedy I knew I wanted to do
it I was writing material but I just didn't know where to start right punchline
was the movie that made me get up down 91411 and see if there was any comedy
clubs in the area and they were like the comedy works and they gave me the number
and I go I'm beginning comic and then six weeks later I saw that in the paper I
took comedy class but my point being remember the club owner in that I don't
in that movie he was a very what Tom Hanks yeah with Tom Hanks and those
people that's a great movie to watch yeah if you're if you're starting out as a
comic because that's what I thought I thought that you went to a club you
leached on to that owner yeah and the owner gave you guidance and he gave you
real guidance from the heart and he spoke to you about what to expect and
that was you know you have to cut through the bullshit yeah everybody wants to be
a comic right in my world show it to me right I know exactly where you're at
I don't even need to go see yeah yeah exactly what you're doing I think how
long you've been doing it three year mark I know exactly what you don't yeah I
know exactly what you're doing what you're feeling emotionally where you
think you should be you fucking I got I got 30 minutes but it's really 10 we've
heard it before and you were there you walk those steps yeah I didn't get that
guidance yeah you know I had the comedy works Wendy didn't have the time yeah
they tried Wendy did hire two people to help comics which nobody else did she
helped a writer to do a stand-up little writing thing and then she she hired a
guy to put you on stage and critique you you know but he was an asshole about it
so and then I went to Seattle and Seattle's owner was some guy we never
met and the book was John Fox but the guy that ran the club his name was Carl
and that was the closest I ever had to a mentor to a comedy father he's walked
you through the steps he tell you to eliminate that joke right whether you
like to not get rid of it that's what Danny would you know that's what they
would do yeah they would tell you not to go to certain places right and you as
an asshole wouldn't listen yeah and then you come back with lumps in your head
what did I tell you now I'll put you in the back of the line right exact for not
listening now you're in the back of the line when you start listening yeah then
you get to the front of the line because everybody knows more than you know you
know and Danny would fucking stress me out like on purpose he would just be
like for a whole year like so many guys were opening and for a solid year I've
been doing you know all these free spot you know it's not even like free spot
all this training I call it that's what it should be called and all this training
I'm overly ready I got like 20 like solid minutes I should be opening you
know I should be hosting like I need to fucking knows he'd make me fucking wait
he was like I want you to be better than everybody else I want you to fucking
want it so bad and that's what he did to me you know and that's what he would do
come in oh Ralphie pops in lemma put Ralphie before you let's see what you
could do tough guy you know that kind of thing being two years in the game oh you
know what you're smashing let me put you before Ralphie let me create a whole
situation between you two let's see how he does and you do and step it down he
has to step up his game and what it has to do and he would play these he would
do these like training tools and exercises and get you to the point like
I'm ready and I hosted for like a week and the next thing you know I was
featuring and I featured for like only like six months and next year I was
headlining really quickly because of what he did to me and what he forced me
to do and edit and take this out my technique hey you have a too low it
doesn't matter with you you know you gotta be conscious of that you're not
making eye contact you know bring your audience in what are you doing you have
a wall in front of you break that wall down talk to these people look at them
don't be afraid don't shy away if you're afraid of them I'm gonna be afraid
they're not gonna think you're real you got to talk to them you know that was so
many tools that he gave me to to to be able to do that and and he took me as
far as he could and gave me all these tools to allow me to get to a certain
level and then Chappelle came into my life and Chappelle became that mentor was
like yo this is what it's like being here now this is the sick this is the
the things that could come out of your life and and how you know to navigate
Hollywood and how to pitch stuff how to you know how to how to really like just
it's like it's just you know getting getting that information that most
people are not privy to and he was able to like guide me through that and still
to this day you know so I'm so lucky so I was doing so when you asked me to go
come to LA he's like you should come to LA that whole thing was like 2004 5 I was
feeling so stressed out I was like I really should make a move either LA
New York I got to do something and then I joined a crew called a lot made me
funny there's these Muslim comedians that started this tour and it was really
super ahead of his time and they were doing really well I thought it was kind
of corny to be honest when I first heard it I was like this sounds like some
Disney shit like I'm a real comic I grew you know what I mean I'm growing up in
this comedy club scene I have this goal and then I was like man these guys
are really working and they were legit comedians and preacher malls like
toured Lopez and wrote for Damon Wayne's and all these guys like hold on a
second I was there a smile for Chicago I need to give this a shot so I joined the
crew and the next thing you know we made a film we raised capital and before
what's called four walling when you rent out basically different theaters we did
a deal with like landmark and this movie came out as a documentary concert
film and and and then Dave's family became fans of our show and preacher
malls who founded the tour was also from DC there's all these like connections
and then he came out to our show when we had a tour stop in Columbus and he
Chappelle showed up with his mom with his niece with his brother and sister
watch the show and then he surprised the audience at the end of the hour
completely clean killed we all had dinner that night and Dave was always like
man you know you guys did this outside of Hollywood like that's mind-blowing to
me I'm a Hollywood guy I've always came up in the Hollywood game he you know he
started popping off when he was in his teens and he doesn't know anything
outside of that and he saw us touring venues you know theaters all over the
world like we did the Apollo and love we did like 30 shows 28 shows in 30 days in
England and Scotland we were touring you know Holland before people were touring
it aside from like you know Rhodes was up there for a long time and then Scandinavian
region we introduced Doug Stanhope to a promoter in Denmark to get him like in
2007-08 start working there it's very fascinating to see that in South
Africa as well Nelson Mandela he was just really blown away but we're able to
do independently and that's why I feel like I got my PhD in stand-up is being
a part of that tour and being able to like go to go walk up on a stage and just
be clean you know just do an hour clean and then go from there go to a comedy
club and be as dirty as I want but that allowed me to add other tools in my
tool bet that I otherwise didn't have and then Dave started making his comeback
and then we just connected you know just we were in the same city in San
Francisco he's like why don't you guys come out and we were like hey man let's
get a picture with Dave you know we walk in and and Dave's like oh man I love
maybe funny let me take a photo with you guys I was like what it's just like
excuse me it didn't understand or grass but was really going on and he was like
you want to open for me tomorrow I was like yeah we other night open for him
the next day and then the next day and then next you know we're in Atlanta I
was like wanna come to Atlanta I was like yeah I'm gonna be in the same area like
cool come on you know what why don't you stay throughout the whole weekend next
you know 700 shows and he's introducing me for my special six years later it's
crazy but that's how it really happened that's all started out it's nuts you put
the work in oh yeah I earn this shit yeah it was you know you said something
early that really I like the guy that ran the last I like I like that everybody
remembers to this day I still enjoy Bob I'm happy he took me on some tours of
Paul Rodriguez he gave an opportunity you know yeah absolutely absolutely I was
in a different place you know I was just right I need to still learn it was the
best thing for me to do that and he was like he was he was a tough guy to crack
if you were that age and where you were I thought he overstepped his boundaries
at some levels he was doing a good job at what he's doing yeah and then he was
promoting shows with Carlos he was promoting shows at Rogue and he was
promoting some great shows yeah he was killing it he fucked it then he got into
the comedy business yeah he got into the comedy business in a weird way and one
of my all-time favorite stories at the store and I and he knows I like him and
I'm fond of him I'm the type of guy I don't say much to somebody you can't
fuck with some of these dream right exactly but I don't say nothing I'd
rather because I don't like people talking about my dream anything else I'm
fat I'm a drug guy whatever you want to say it's fine with the comedy dream shit
you don't fuck with people's dream exactly even when people come up to you
and say look take a look at this tape tell me what you think I don't say a
word you know I got a really really really really really know you as a
comment right and really know you as a human being that when I tell you something
the more you're gonna do it exactly don't tell me to watch it and they're gonna
keep doing your same shit over and over and now you're lost exactly if you want
my fucking opinion and I'm not gonna give you much yeah so tell you maybe they
get rid of that joke right you're separating the audience there's always a
little something I love when I was already a regular at the store I had
already booked mad TV I decided I wasn't good enough something I had to
follow Nick DiPallo and sandwich in between Nick DiPallo and Doug Stanhope
oh yeah I saw a level of professionalism and I saw my level of
professionalism right and even though I lived in LA so this is my last spot in
LA I'm on the road for 18 months I'm down and dirty no I line feature 350 a
week 400 with a greyhound yeah you know where you have to feel your oats right
oh yeah so I know timing and I know everything I knew that Ben Mowbray and
one Houston's funniest person funniest person he had a gift of comedy and yeah
he was a smart super smart yeah smart guy you know he was doing Stanhope and
Stanhope was letting them know it yeah Stanhope was breaking his balls yeah he
was doing us a variation of Stanhope of course it was still intriguing yeah he was
trying to be Stanhope and Hicks and I get he was six months in the game he was
six months in the game nothing and I was happy for him I saw Babbit pushing yeah
I saw Babbit put him in positions he shouldn't have been put in and I have 20
stories where he actually Babbit called headliners and said if you let him
feature he's gonna give you a hard time like I had three headliners come to me
and go is he fucking crazy? Ben Mowbray is good but he's not gonna put a dent in my
arm whatsoever so I'll never forget getting the call I got the call one night
cuz I used to host at the store right on Sunday nights and I would introduce
the show the blue night right no no no it was the show cases for Mitzi Mitzi would
be there and I would bump into Mitzi and she'd look at the list and go fuck
him like here's a guy with dreams for ten years at the store and Mitzi look at
him fuck him I don't like what he's wearing and I'd have to be the bearer of
bad time yeah I'd have to go up to the guy and go listen Mitzi don't want to see
you this week call Scott Day or whatever I still remember I think it was
Corey who came down to me she goes oh by the way you're putting up some kids from
Houston he's the new hot thing and as she was telling me I already knew and my
heart was breaking yeah it's terrible because you're putting them in front of
Mitzi you're not putting them in a crowd at the improv you're putting them in
front of Mitzi this is a lottery ticket make a break this is a lottery ticket
this isn't like a career jump no that if Mitzi doesn't like you you could come
back in two years no she's gonna remember this bombing or this whatever you
do so Sunday comes they came in like Sunday and went to eat like that and
fucking let's see it again at fucking the rib prime rib plays they're eating and
drinking wine Babitz got Matt Blake from Gersh before he was running CAA so far
he was an assistant at Gersh yeah he's a great he's a Gersh under fucking the
wig yeah the deal was to get Matt Blake to sign Ben to take him to the wig and
you know get his career going he's doing comedy so fucking he wasn't even a year
in he was a year or something and he's featuring which really ain't my crawl
yeah yeah he shouldn't be like you can't jump you can't jump steps this is
something you can't fancy for two years give him 20 weeks a year and then come
see me and then maybe I mean 20 weeks of MC and Tuesday through Sunday yeah
exactly that's eight shows a week learning bumps and bruises and fucking
headline is giving you shit you gotta do 20 you gotta do 40 of those before I
even talk to you easily and then we talk about feature then we'll talk about
feature exactly so he was featured I'm like this is not bueno you know and he
wasn't doing bad as a feature yet 18 20 look it's easy when you fucking show up
at a comedy club there's crowds there and you're opening or featuring for
somebody like Doug stand up okay go to a fucking place where nobody knows
anybody the crowd is just not even didn't even want to come to see stand up
and they just didn't even know that shit was going on a bar and then you fucking
get them together let's see your skillset now partner you know let's see
what you have now that's what you miss the little fucking bar in the corner
the little one in front of the door yeah every time somebody opened the door
they had to walk around here you'll melt yeah melt melt you're just to sit
yeah completely the first time your 20 is open and you turn around yeah two
customers you just melt it melt so now you play them like a fiddle you're like
come here baby sit down brother you know go to the fucking store
mitzi gives me the list she's in one of her moods and I see his name oh Ben
Moberg and bro I never forget there's very few nights I forgot that the store
yeah and that was one of them when I still remember being at the bottom of
the stairs and watching them come around the side like they had Richard
oh god that's not good Blake's you know three young comics from Houston all the
people that lived in here now from Houston the Great White Hope it was all
the big everybody was drinking boozing having a good time yeah and I'll never
forget that it was in the middle of the showcases like oh mitzi I'm gonna put
this kid up he's the next Bill Hicks oh you know me though I gotta throw some
fire yeah I'm not gonna let you get away with my god I gotta protect my mom
yeah exactly yeah so I went up to her very nonchalantly and I go mitzi this is the
kid from Houston that showcases they say he's the next Bill Hicks and might be
worth your while I'm gonna forget how looking at me gone put him on next thing
you know fucking Babbage rubbing his shoulders they're walking up the stairs
you got this fucking Matt Blake goes in the corner Babbit the three flunkies
half of Houston's in the back and he goes up there that's terrible and he went up there with
ego yeah and he went up the way you know they eat that alive yeah at those places like that
oh you can't walk and they're just done that's it the fucking stage sucked the energy you
could see it as soon as he hit the stage you cracked two or three jokes that work in Houston
and you can see the color went from his face yeah and then he continued and then she started yelling
get him off get him off Bill Hicks my ass oh my god hey you can see him on stage and it was like
somebody hit him death man the only thing that was holding him up was a skeleton yeah that's the
only thing that was holding him up dog was a skeleton if you don't think I felt bad yeah if you
don't think inside as a human being there's a comic I felt bad you're wrong yeah I felt horrible for
him I felt bad for him and I know what it's like to be in that position yeah where you get a little
bit ahead of yourself and you go fuck what they say I'm gonna go do this anyway and it's a horrible
experience and I'll never forget him this is what I remember the most was him walking off and nobody
saying nothing to him Babbit turns back it's a lonely fucking ride he walked out of there like he just
wanted to leave yeah I mean that's all I wanted to do is leave yeah and as he was walking out like
you know how he walked up with everybody around him he walked out everybody was 10 feet behind them
dog it was the coldest thing I had ever seen in my life that's really the next night he went to the
improbably did okay yeah but the damage you can't do that damage is done I remember when he came back
to Houston and he told me about what happened and and he was just like you know when I was sitting
back there and I was like you and start thinking about that stage and all the greats that have been
on it and he just you know he just crumbled yeah he can't do that psychologically somebody it's not
his fault they shouldn't have done that and you know he could he could have maybe tried to stop it
but he was so young he was in his early 20s I think at that time who the fuck is gonna stop him I don't
you don't fucking know yeah you don't know they're telling me that I can do this they're telling me
I'm pointing something yeah this is where Babbit and I like and also at the same time I would say
that you know we've all experienced failure on a big level on different levels and you know
different tastes of it and you either want it bad or you don't either this thing is gonna
define who you are you know for success and like I remember when I fucking did this was a huge
mistake yes am I gonna wait this through another 10 years you know that's the whole thing do you
want it bad enough I have for me there's nothing else that I want there's zero broke no car
fucking breakdown whatever it is you just have to do it if you really want it you can't let those
things break you unfortunately it wasn't the right support group and I and I would see that as a
young I remember being a kid looking around going I'm not gonna get better here you know this is
not the spot the last stop for me at that time this is I don't have the I'm not given the time
and I'm not gonna be able to get it here I need to go on the road I would come back from you know
Jim older would give me dates and we would tour and do all these shit one-nighters I would come
back and rush to do the blue show on Sunday and that's the spot he gave me and he was like why
weren't you here scratch you off the list I was like why did you scratch me off the list
he says why weren't you here on open mic on Monday I was like I'm on the road I'm trying to get
better I'm doing these open mics this is where Babbit would treat me a little bit harsher you
know because I was younger or whatever and whatever the thing that he had going on he had going on
but I appreciated what he did for the comedy scene in Houston I appreciated that he was bringing
these quality names and and they were coming in and we got to see you know Louis CK before he
even became a yeah I mean I mean everybody was Tom roge and yeah yeah amazing co-headline
fucking amazing people will not forget like that was like 97 yeah and that was like the height
of it 97 98 I saw it in 99 2000 when they came down and then we were going to that crazy hotel
like the whole experience yeah was crazy yeah that hotel willy nelson stay there yeah it ended up
flooding and let's go I wasn't there that was the only hotel that you could check into do a bunch
of coke at four in the morning and then go man I need a beer open your hotel room and walk 10
10 minutes there'd be somebody drinking a beer hey man how you doing yeah I didn't know you want
a beer and you're like uh I wasn't thinking about it but fucking well and I a bunch want to say like
I love Ben Moebra I love that I thought he was very smart funny guy and he had it he just really
wanted it and I think it was just wasn't fair what happened to him and there's just all respect
brother all respect no it's all respect and these that's what I tell people there's no book you
could read this it yeah you watch exactly you keep your mouth shut you give them the rope and you
watch them either hang themselves yeah they either hang themselves or they do something with it right
and even if you hang yourself you still got plenty of life left I hung myself yeah 18 times when I
started combat yeah you know I'm immune to bombing because I've bombed so many times that it doesn't
even matter yeah I know what I need to I love I love bombing getting in the car I know exactly
what you did to bomb yeah I knew exactly what I did to bomb I opened something I came out to
cocky yeah I should have said that word the first three minutes there's always something that makes
you reflect on the bomb and you go oh bombing doesn't affect me at all no it makes you better it
makes you better as long as you know that yeah as you're getting in your car and you give that little
giggle yeah and then you walk in the center 11 and torture the guy behind the counter I ain't eat that
I just chicken I mean the best thing to watch is the funny thing you watch as a comedian is watching
another comedian die on stage and the reason why is that that's something that you relate to so
innately so personally that it makes me personally just laugh so hard because you have that experience
and nobody knows it better than a comedian or a performer they just completely dies on so you
just laugh because you relate to it so hard it's not because like oh I'm happy he's bombing no no
no it's like this what he's going through his mindset all the shit that's going through his head
the catastrophizing the fucking scene the breakdown in the middle of the road he can't get out of it
he's looking for the light have I been lit yet that that shit is like classic man my first three
years I used to break chairs I used to break bottles I hit a pigeon with a car oh my god when
I bombed I would get so I had to learn how to bomb with grace right that was the big problem I had
the first three years the other thing that I had a lot of the comics didn't have is I know when I bomb
right it's not the worst to see an economic come off stage and go I killed you like oh god yeah
the fuck as well oh no it's the worst yeah denial I destroyed that room you're like I was sitting
in the back I had to take a tomato from a guy yes they were just about to fucking hit you with a
tomato on a slingshot oh easily you're telling me that's the other retardation yeah you don't want
to say nothing I can't I love when I bomb and you're standing there having a drink and you won't
make eye contact and to break the eye contact I go how bad was that bomb yeah makes the Gulf War
look like a fucking Chinese parade because that's the thing is having the sense of human
that were you around when Ralphie fell through the stage at Spellbind is no I was not there I was
not there I didn't know he fell through the stage at Spellbind I knew he fell down the stairs at the
last spot and that was his big beef with the owner at the time and they were like I think he sued him
at some point right he sued two people he was and the owner of Spellbinders are you serious
he fell through he fell through the stage I mean he was like I heard I haven't seen him at his peak
when he first started right Danny told me that he used to have to lean up against the wall because
he was like 700 pounds yeah he was big when he first started big he was 700 I'm big 700 he went
to the floor at Spellbinders oh my god when I found that story I didn't say nothing for three months
oh god I didn't say a word to that fool for three months oh my god and then when they Spellbinders
was still open it was the town when I met Ralphie was the tail end of Spellbinders and he was staying
with Joey Medina he had already broken oh shit Joey Medina he broke his cock what do you call
those things the japanese people the futon he broke his futon oh my god and he couldn't get it back
up like when you went to Ralphie's you just be laying there because you couldn't you couldn't
pick the futon back up like the back yeah he would just be laying down what Ralphie get up
but I'll never forget like I was I was hustling calls one day you know like I was working for a
screw company on Ivar I would have to get there at four in the morning and sell screws to people on
the east coast oh my god and then from there we'd go to Ralphie's house for breakfast I'd wrap like
at nine and I remember calling there one day and just calling the lab spot I didn't know who
Don learned it was I didn't know uh Dan he was and I'll never forget calling uh Spellbinders
Lynn yeah Lynn was his name I remember Lynn Karn I don't know yeah I think it was Lynn Karn I
remember this Karn's uh Joe Diaz I'm I'm a regular at the comedy store I like to come down and do
feature work and right away she goes are you friends at Ralphie and what do you think of
somebody says to me are you friends of Moe yeah but if it's a club owner yeah you gotta think twice
I go yeah I'm friends at Ralphie she goes well friends at Ralphie aren't welcome here have a
good day she hung up on me oh my god so I didn't know what Ralphie had done I asked somebody like
you don't know he fell through the stage and then he sued her oh my god so one day we're at Ralphie's
for breakfast and it's quiet it's quiet it's quiet I'm like you know I call Lynn Karn's that
Spellbinders that's the for a week of work he kept eating because she wouldn't give me a week of work
in front pay for the hole that you fell through they want me to go down there rebuild the fuck that
bitch oh my god and now just think about that that was the intent I mean here's the sad thing about
comedy I knew 10 guys in Houston personally that had 20 times more talent and could outjoke me
any day in a fucking week that's what pisses me off about Houston and that's why I went off on you
that day about opportunity yeah when you live in a market that you could be out 14 nights a week
even though there's seven yeah I want you out those 14 nights yeah yeah exactly as a comic I don't
want to hear nothing I can first you're yelling me like you're yelling to me saying it's enough
here now you need to move get the fuck out there's only so much you could do with a market and then
and you don't have to tell when you're trapped yeah you can be trapped in the market after a year
doing stand-up and not knowing yeah absolutely you in my case I was trapped I was trapped in
Denver I didn't think there was a world outside it then and then I started hearing about these
different comedy scenes when you travel people tell you man come to Houston they just they got too
much comedy they're looking Dave would tell me all the time she'd probably be like man I think the
next big things and come out of Houston all the time you tell me like the next I always thought
the next comedian the next day there's so much talent down there there's so much to pull from
it was great I mean John Westling down to his murdering he was helping fucking John Westling
scripts a fucking brilliant yeah he is he's showing rouse showing rouse this show absolutely
fucking crazy man could kill and all yeah it's Juan Villarreal Juan Villarreal is a murderer you'd
let him lose on the stage and he'll fucking cause problems absolutely you know they had the other
kid there was another kid down there was a phenomenal writer I just bought the hersey was
really good at hersey I just bumped into Sarah Tyler match oh my god you're just doing great we see
each other in New York all the time yeah I bumped into about bigger staff yeah he's which I was very
happy he got up and got out because finally it's just so much you could do in a market absolutely I
always told people sit still shut your mouth yeah right but when do I leave you know when you leave
when the club owner says to you mom that's what happened to me every night go home I've
headlined year the 4th of July Valentine's Day yeah Memorial Day weekend Thanksgiving day
Christmas and New Year's Day you've destroyed every headline that comes through here I really
can't headline you because you got no credits yeah now you got to make a decision right that's
the ideal situation and I was at a real crossroads when you told me that for me was just like hey
I want to be I want to be so fucking ready you know my whole thing is that I want to be so ready
that I want to terrify people when I get like that's my whole thing I want to be so prepared I have to
be undeniable you know I'm Muslim I'm Arab I'm a refugee I don't have a citizenship like Palestinian
I'm I have all these things all these stigmas on me I have to be so good that's all I thought about
and I was like yes Joey I hear you and something in my gut was telling me just be patient just be
patient this is a marathon is a 20-year situation for overnight success that's what I kept having in
my head loop around and thank god for the relationship with you know all of me funny like really touring
that understanding what a global marketplace is and doing those theaters and getting those
repetitions and coming back and building it back up and then you know touring with Dave those years
so many years and still you know popping in together and him you know being such a big part of my life
and like a brother to me and then when I got into the cellar I was like 17 years in
you know you know what I mean some mothers like it we've heard of this guy kind of like what's
going on and then you come in and you're just like I have an hour and a half of shit that's
special ready that I'm gonna rotate and I'm gonna murder every fucking set and that's the way I want
to come in and sure enough I came in boom it went very fast everything was going really well tons
of spot was doing she was giving me as he was giving me like 10 a night on Friday and Saturdays
as much as you can do plus the comedy ah I'm excuse me not the yeah the all of the ground the yeah no
there was the underground around the corner and there's that oh my god why am I blanking out there's
a music spot right around the corner and you do that downstairs boom you hit it up 75 bucks in front
of a crowd that expects a band get the fuck out of there do a spot at the cellar boom go around
village underground then go upstairs go to fat black pussycat I mean working so hard and then
Derek Trump should happen to me where I sat next to him on the plane turn that into a joke
boom Colbert heard about it they came out they watched me they flipped it to do it why don't
you get on Colbert bam roll a stone ten comedians to watch oh shit next to you know I'm you know I
got multiple offers for my specials now we're cooking and that's what I wanted and the only
thing I felt like after all that stuff happened was relief I was like thank god it was right it's
fine are you very calculated I was always calculated in my growth and how much I'm learning
and doing that and always like not putting money first money was like the last thing that I cared
about it's the number one that's the mistake young comics make that's the last thing I cared about
they ask you are you making any money no of course no yeah they'll say well why are you doing this
I wouldn't do it if I didn't get paid well then go watch this fuck so I used to slide them on I
was like why are you driving 12 hours for a hundred bucks I would tell her 300 I would lie
I would go to get into that club in Birmingham Alabama what is it called the star dome so I
drove 12 hours there boom do that set drive back on the way home I'd stop at I'd stop at the casino
in Lake Charles play poker I was like whenever I get to 300 I'm gonna get out here and I was 19
I wasn't even legal to be in there but you could just walk in they didn't have the little IDs and
all that shit you could check in I would just wait play poker get up to 300 bucks leave cash out
so I when I come home I can show my mother look look like I made 300 bucks you know it's good
then I can show her that because you would ask me let me see what they paid you you know let me
see what you're doing she was worried about me of course as any parent should be you know I get it
but she didn't understand staying up and all that so I had to do like all these things all these
extras to make it look like I'm doing better than I actually am to show her that you know I am making
some growth and there is a career here and things like that I mean my god my mom didn't really
understand like what I was doing fully until she saw me with Dave at Radio City Music Hall
with Chance the Rapper and John Stuart and these guys in front of 6500 people and she just saw her
son just do his thing on stage just had a murder and that's where John Stuart and I became friends
and that's like the only celebrity to an Arab mom it's like game show hosts and John Stuart you
know like that's it that's it 9 11 yeah it took 9 11 to expose Arab based comedy right like you
know you had your thing I know that Mars right those guys yeah they had X of evil yeah and they were
doing great with it but it took like something that tragic of course to blow it up comedy yeah
you know how fucking crazy is that right my brother would look me in my face he thought my career was
over he was like your career is over he goes nobody wants to see a Muhammad on stage telling jokes
I looked at my brother I was like Omar you're a pilot what you talking about you know you got a
career it's you're gonna be fine you know like it's gonna be fine so I just like this is gonna be the
big thing for me and I always had it in my mind to do it what was this thing that was inside of you
that was forcing you not to fail like we all have the like when I worked for my brother-in-law's
roofing company yeah when I took that job the night before I drove to my brother-in-law's
roofing company uh I had a really thin car like I didn't sleep all night and I said okay here is
my mother told me once that when I was a kid my mother got mad at me once and she goes when you
got older I don't care what you do I don't care what you do if you clean toilets clean toilets
it's a job if you sweep sweep but make sure you're the best at what you do or that you try hard to
be the best at what you do you know when I got the job with my brother-in-law's roofing company
when I was a kid you know I knew one thing that for me to work for him I had to be the best work
around that job site because I never wanted somebody to go to him and go hey you're fucking
brother-in-law as a fucking dud right I never wanted that so I knew that I had to be there at seven
even though the job started at seven thirty I would be there at seven and if the job ended at
four thirty I'd be there at five fifteen right I swear you know I did things they didn't even
ask me to do right it's just the same way you felt about calmly a hundred percent even more so
just coming here just knowing that you know fleeing a war in Kuwait seeing my mom and dad lose everything
losing my father just like all these things that I couldn't control right happened and it felt very
much like you lost your father when you moved here correct I lost my father like yeah about four years
after we moved here he didn't come until he couldn't get it because you know like the dad's got to do
everything I'm gonna finish up the paperwork you were living in a war I was you don't mind me yeah
so it was uh was born in Kuwait left Kuwait after the first Gulf War in 1990 about three months into
it and then my mom got my sister how old were you when the war was and do you remember shells I remember
everything about it every details about it I mean everything bro when the when the Iraqi soldiers
came in and it was just a quick takeover and it was a big robbery more than anything like
you didn't hear much like as far as like the shooting and the what have you I didn't I wasn't
like fully part of that I was part of the chaos so Saddam Hussein like dropped off all these
guys that were in prison and told them to just rob Kuwait it was a big robbery it was a massive
massive robbery more anything else his dispute was that Kuwait's been stealing from us for years
you know what I'm taking over Kuwait Kuwait's actually rock anyway fuck you this is mine
it was all political play but forget it I was when you say rob them yeah when they come into your
house and smack in you and they were they were trying so they came into the house uh the first
time with the the day of the invasion they took over the whole neighborhood because the neighborhood
was owned by the Kuwaiti oil company who my father was employed by so that was a really strategic
point for that military so they were there and then they took over the whole situation once they
found out where Palestine and they backed off my mom told me they were going to throw a grenade
into my room they were going to like they were going to do something and then she stopped they
stopped them they talked him out of it and like my dad was just all about feed these guys feed them
they're hungry they just came off a war from Iran they're starving they're here to steal because
they're hungry so we fed them my mom and dad would feed them they would come over to the house
in the morning they would take all the food they would eat and they would just leave they would
leave us alone my father was always worried about his daughter of course god forbid she gets raped
or something happens and the shit that goes down during war he was just being very protective for
that and he paid the ultimate price for it man he was like the stuff i found out years later he was
like uh kidnapped my mom had to like pay ransom to get him out he was a really intense time for
my family now i felt it they didn't tell me everything but i felt it i ended up in houston
i was nine and my brother took me to change you know just kind of changed the vibe a little bit so
he took me to watch uh the houston livestock show and rodeo you know every year they have that
joint with all these big headliners and that year was co-headlined by the band alabama that i went
to and bill cosby and i saw bill cosby on stage i was 10 in front of 67 000 people at the astrodome
and he's just murdering and i was like what is this art form that allows you to sit in a chair
and speak in this little tiny microphone this lapel mic and just kill a whole crowd there's
control them with your voice and storytelling i'm i'm gonna do this i looked at my brother
i was like i'm gonna be a comedian he was like yeah yeah you know he's like oh i'm glad you
have a good time i was like no motherfucking do you not understand i just found my destiny bitch
and that's where it came down to is like that's why i figured out it was gonna be a comedian
and then two years later my dad came and then he passed away shortly after that it was uh
she really really crazy time for me man it's really really crazy that's how it's i didn't even know
who bill hicks was or sam kennison was i didn't know the rich history that houston had and stand
up i remember i was doing open mics like ah this guy's hey he sounds like sam kennison i'm like who
the fuck is sam kennison this guy was like what do you mean you don't know sam kennison
you're not copy him right now i was like i don't know who the fuck sam kennison is i've been here
fucking eight years a kid i don't have cable we're poor shit what are you talking about who the
fuck is sam kennison he was like don't say this out loud again he came back the next day i can't
remember this man's name but he was an open mic or you know older guy just kind of hobbyist and he
just hands me all these cassette tapes of all these hbo specials and all these hicks specials and
sam kennison and and god john mandosa as well and all these guys that it came up that i can't end uh
and uh dana carvey and all these things that i was watching and i was like oh my god this is amazing
and i really started to understand stand up and watching carlin and doing that because
then you didn't have all youtube you just pop in and let me see who the hell
what the history of stand-up is and that you have to like learn it from the street
and that's what it was so funny to me because guys are like oh this fucking guy is just trying
to be this he's guys trying to be that i'm like i don't even know the guys you're talking about
they're like eddie murphy delirious he did that joke i was like who the fuck is eddie murphy delirious
yeah i'm not gonna know that i had to catch up culturally right you came here as a little
kid you don't have that history i don't have the older brothers watching these tapes and you know
what i mean i have older brothers but they weren't watching that they were all going to college and
i was in a little country called quate the only thing i knew is that my sisters loved uh what is
it blue what is it the sitcom with a civil shepherd and moonlighting yeah i was like that's it that's
all i know america's moonlighting and the lakers and the chicago bulls apparently that said the
bosses out that's all i knew about america and football this thing that you throw so i had no i
had all this stuff to catch up culturally so it was it was a really interesting it was really
difficult for me especially being that young and not having all this information and all this stuff
flying around i'm like you know what i need to learn and that's why the showcase was that
place for me and i would go back and forth this is rough showcase explain some of the people
your premier club at the time was the last spot last stop because they brought in the mitch head
birds the rogans and the gaffigans and all that then you had the mid-level club which was uh
it's the showcase definitely the showcase the showcase showcase would be like the definitely
the one after they would call it like the b club the b club because of the the acts they were
bringing they were touring season comedians headliners very fucking funny guys very funny funny
and the guys just didn't know yeah you just didn't know these are guys that had drug problems
and they already failed and tmv they came out and their show failed exactly but they still
remain funny funny like michael reed is somebody i will never forget he's so fucking funny man
man rest in peace crazy he was like and the last spot also had more vegas based
absolutely comics that went to vegas yep played vegas so houston had a great variety
absolutely to watch and learn like i still remember like not dana carvey but the guy that
writes for the simpsons i don't know being like at the last stop and the last spot at
summer i just know the biggest writer that probably came out of houston at that time
was it tshon shannon the shannon brothers because tshon was like we're a writer i don't
i don't know but i mean charlie died i don't know about five six years more than that about
ten years ago i think so much that they were interesting they were great man they were
interesting mother fuckers so was charlie now they wrote for seven lives i'm not wrong tshon
wrote for seven yeah yeah yeah tshon wrote for like vibe and he had like he was he he he flipped
you know how writers do they go from one job to the next i think s and l was as long as i think
he was like a head writer s and l for like 10 years he was there for quite some time right yeah
yeah he just got out and i think after his brother passed with these to do a tshon you know a shannon
family christmas every year at the last stop and you know the last stop going away and then charlie
dying and just kind of i'm pretty sure it affected tshon significantly since that's what they did
together and charlie was just a very sophisticated stand up he was really really good at what he did
and it might make he made it look so easy but he was really really good and he loved going up at
the end and he would freestyle like nobody else and he was really talented and uh yeah so that he
was like the guy tshon was the the the guy that was like oh man you can like make it in the writing
world you can actually accomplish things and and get things going and do that and also uh this is
named that uh managed steve harvey for a long time too uh roshan roshan mcdonald i think he was
like the producer guy he was just like produced everything like oh you can make it in different
parts in hollywood and then seeing ralfie obviously make it and do it and you're like oh this is very
tangible it's very possible if you just work hard and put in the time and effort but yeah so ralfie
was a big time uh dany martinez guy yeah big time well i mean yeah absolutely he was a very vocal
very he loved dany absolutely you know dany you know dany had taken him on the road for the first
time at that time thea by dal yeah had made he was a monster monster and she made houston proud
like houston was very proud you know like thea is a great example because they gave her a show
on abc that wasn't really thea you know what i mean it wasn't like it didn't really you know show who
thea was at that time and they made her into like this family friendly loving mother uh well she is
a loving mother of course but she's just more crass and just more honest and up front and i think
that's why that show did what it did she had too much too fast at that point but she's like
by far still it's probably to this day i haven't seen her just stand up for a long time but she's
a power she's unbelievable she's unbelievable and i remember dany telling me the story when she
walked into the comedy showcase and she was like i'm funny put me on stage and dany's the type of
dude was like oh yeah i'm fucking fine i'll put you on let's see what the fuck you got because he
you know most people think is so easy they go up and they eat shit and he was like fine
he put her on and she slayed she murdered the goddamn room the first time she ever went up on
stage ever he was like holy shit she's a superstar and dany was the kind of guy that would watch a
comedian and most comedians would be like oh this person's not funny not very good and he would be like
no he's gonna make it he's gonna give me time watch watch watch what no i don't even give me
time it's like he's not my student or she's not my student and she's gonna she's got jenny uh what's
her name uh jenna um it's her name she always had a notebook on stage uh my god she was just had
a really successful acting career black hair what's her name jenna will come to me but she was like
everybody like she was a hipster comedian before hipsters and all that shit happened
and dany was like walked up to her like you're gonna be a big star and sure enough she freaking
became a very successful comedian and actress he just had that about him they would just like
see guys and the people that would listen to him did very well mr on it if you really wanted it
and you listen to dany you were gonna do something if uh no how old are you when we had this talk that
i was like 23 wow yeah so that was 15 years ago i know well 14 years ago that was so
major it's really weird that i'm really like i don't tell comics this but there's a lot of
comics that when i see i feel warmth i feel very proud to have known them because they really inspired
me and you're one of those guys like you there's like 20 guys that i still remember hanging out at
the company club going like i'm thinking about doing comedy you're like okay yeah and then the next
time you go they're the mc right then the next time you go they're the feature act and the next
thing you know they're opening for you or something you're like you know what he's doing a great job
but it's it's amazing that they stayed in the game you know lucas rick ramos you see these kids
and you know you've gained a lot of success there's people that are still struggling yeah they have no
idea the amount of respect i give them because i don't know if i would equip my now yeah i know
did you ever see quitting as an option like me i man i couldn't yeah no way after the first year
i knew i had too much time invested i was already in yeah i was already here that's it this is a
thing like look i was already putting it out there already said that i'm gonna get these but i'm gonna
get these things it's gonna happen you can't see it right now fine that's not your it's not your
job to be able to visualize what i'm talking about what i what skill set i fucking have deep inside
me and what i'm able to do you'll just see let me just keep sharpening this knife let me just
keep getting tight let me just get right and get smarter you know get better more experience it's
just like watch just watch just watch have any doubts of course i mean i freaking had times
were just bawling and fucking in the back of uh of uh whatever i remember i i remember i was in
japan and doing this tour and i was just reading the Quran i was just like having the spiritual
moment with myself and i'm just like crying i was like please god tell me this is i did the
right thing please tell me please i know i feel it in my core these people are talking i hate hearing
these voices please you know oh he's not gonna make it's a hard business what are you thinking
you could be a great entrepreneur you're a smart bit you could be a smart businessman you could do
this you could day so tell the things why are you wasting your time like no this is for the
culture you understand i'm way ahead of the curve i know this please please let me both is right
and then i hear the comic next door fucking just uh i was like ah jeez it made me laugh i was like
that's i'll take that as a sign i'll take it i'll take that as a sign do you think that the hard
work and the ethic you have is from the immigrant mentality and what you saw that's probably a big
part of it yeah it's definitely a big part of it it's like you got to work harder than everybody
else i feel like you have to work harder than everybody else to me it's like it's like boxing
hey man i got a match coming up this fucking i think he's working on a 3am i need to get up
what am i doing sleeping i'm that kind of guy and i can't stop thinking anyways i think it's
just something you're born with as well either you have it in you to to sit through it and and
deal with all the bullshit and go through it or you don't you know it really is and you always
feel like quitting i always i like oh man when i get to this number i'm gonna just fuck it i'm
done you know 30 years that's it i'm gonna put it in let's get some shows on my belt five specials
gonna have goals in my head like this is what i want it's one when i accomplish boom when i hit
this number but who the hell knows it's part of who we are like how can you not go up on stage
i get low a little bit you know the lows are low where you're not on stage or you're not working
or you're just not putting like what am i doing it's gonna find a way to channel the energy somewhere
else maybe i don't know you know the thing that's crazy for me is for me i didn't i never want to
let my friends down yeah i never want to let the people down that gave me 30 bucks to get
to the next town exactly i didn't want to let the people down and let me crash in the house the people
put antifreeze in my car absolutely man for me to make it to the next town like i always when i
always had doubts on comedy i didn't think about money or stardom or being poppy i didn't give a
fuck about that i just didn't want to sell drugs i want to stop being a criminal but most importantly
it was for all the people that did something for me to get to where i was exactly you know this morning
i got up and i called one of my early the guys that took me on the road after three years you know
and it wasn't the ideal road situation right right he didn't bring me on the road because of my
comedy talent all right he brought me on the road because he never drove his license and sometimes
he went you know and there i was with a car that was nice and clean and i would pick him up on time
and he would make me stop at a liquor store and empty half the gatorade and i'd be driving and he'd
be preaching yeah you know i'd be driving and he'd be preaching that's it and then i get there
in the first show he'd give me 20 minutes and and if i ate a bag of dicks the second show he'd go
seven seven next time you're going to 20 when you're ready to fuck yeah absolutely i called him
this morning yeah i don't know where because no matter what he's doing with his life i'm still
representing him yeah absolutely i'm still he's still working i felt the same way when i did my
special i put you know the people that meant to me that gave me that that were part of that story
in the special as well like olivia erranton even carol and picard you know uh danie martinez donald
i have them all in there like that's all part of my story and the people that i the thing that drove
me to not to quit is my mother like i have to do this there's no other option i'm too deep i can't
get out of this seven years in ten years in like no i can't i just can't be the rest of my life
i'll be thinking what if what did i do bell too early this and that i just can't do that i have to
the driving force was like gotta get there gotta be successful have to support my mother
have to support my family this is all i have in my head like the set said i can't i will
till the wheels fall off that's the fucking raffi all the time all the time because raffi and i had
a very interesting relationship there's a 10 year gap between us number one uh he was danie's
like prized you know mentee right he went off and they're very successful and started popping off
and doing things and also this got to feel a different way when raffi comes in who's this
young fucking kid you know what i mean what's he doing danie's mentoring this kid let me see
there's all this like it's like a brotherly rivalry loving what rivalry that happened and i was always
like hey what's going on let me learn from you kind of thing and he was like do i trust this kid
do i not trust this kid kind of mentality and then next you know it grew like oh it became
loving and he cared and he i remember he he gave me a ton of shit one time we're at that
greek restaurant and i was hosting and i've been doing stand-up like professions for like a month
and i'm wearing shorts and he's like what the fuck are you doing wearing shorts he just reamed me
i was like he's mean but i think he has a point you know like yeah he'll have a point so i didn't
write out the gate and i'm so happy that all a lot of years went by and a lot of really great
things and he always monitored where i was doing and he would send me love on twitter he would just
send me messages and send me love so i was really really happy that when he was in houston
and i happened to be in town at the same time i went and drove to see him i was like i have
to see him because i had a dream uh that what that we didn't get to talk like properly talk
and uh and and he passed away and i was very upset i was like i didn't get to speak with him
i was like fuck this i don't know why i had that dream at that moment obviously you see
way things happen now i'm very grateful that i had the opportunity to go drive to the improv
go talk to him i was like listen you know i was i was a kid i'm immature i hope you if there's
anything he's like there's nothing what are you talking about i was like i just want to tell you
that it means a lot to me to see you uh be successful and to have this and to work so hard
to get to these accomplishments it means a lot because it tells me that it's very doable it gives
you that's the same thing you did to me it gives me it gives me a lot of hope and uh and i appreciate
that and it was all love and he was having a good time there's a smoke somewhere had some shrooms
or whatever so the conversation lasted a good you know five seven minutes where it was like really
focused between us i gave him a hug gave me a hug saw Lana said hello made my like i just it was
interesting to see what happened like how i had that dream and i was driven to go talk to him
and then he passed away like a year and a half later cheers later it's really great i'm so thankful
man i'm so thankful because that shit would have been in my heart forever i'd been like oh
fuck had that dream i pushed it out don't go i didn't man up go have a great conversation with
him like yo brother just one let you know that this means a lot to me the success i'm having now
you're part of that success because you showed me with all kinds of hate and jealousy that happened
around you if you popping off and all that stuff and i always remove i'm so grateful that most of
the time i remove myself from that and focused on my work because you gave me hope to do that
so i thank you for that and i was very grateful i had that moment man it's huge that's huge no more
your uh these relationships are everything to me you're a great fucking young man i i'm very proud
of you i was very proud when i saw you i did not hesitate i'm putting on the podcast because i know
what you've gone through and you're a real student of the game where can people find you uh you can
find me a real moamer check out my special on netflix entitled the vagabond uh i'm very very proud of
that it's like my life's work into that baby and the next one we're working on but uh real moamer
on all platforms so where are you going to be in the next couple weeks i'm going to dc and be the
improv great city and i'm gonna be at the improv in miami i'm also going to i think new jersey and
new brunswick after that yeah stress factory and then i'm doing uh i'm doing detroit there's several
dates i'm doing detroit i'm doing cobs full tour i got the new hour it's all brand new materials
so i'm touring that right now and then i'm filming the tv show in this uh this fall band season two
of brami so i'm very very excited about that man fucking very proud of you proud of you too man i love
you guys anytime you love you guys you're always welcome thank you brother do not forget i'm in
new orleans at the film or theater next friday night and then saturday we're at the tabernacle
motherfucking theater in atl i'm stopping by uh what's her name's chicken tabernacle is the best
by the way venues for that is fucking amazing i'm going over the gladdest nights oh yes some
fucking chicken i'm staying online for a few minutes i love atlanta i love new orleans yes so
i'll see you motherfuckers down there in a few weeks real quick here i just want to fucking
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and you don't want to stink because wiping is gross would you clean dirty crusty dishes with
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environment did you know the average person uses 57 sheets of toilet paper a fucking day
you know how many trees they gotta kill for you to wipe your fucking stinky ass
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here a bidet saves your money on toilet paper and you still have little paper to pat dry but the
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and that's it and that's that i want to thank my man more mere i want to thank the christ killer but
most importantly i want to thank you motherfuckers for always having my back that's it and that's
that see you at the filmore new all-eens or see you at the fucking tabernacle and atlanta georgia
besides that see you monday morning get ready a fucking rock-cock suckers have a great weekend i love
you and stay black kick this fucking muley boom
oh
sand rains down in here i said holding
you
see
It's like a dream
I just don't understand who they thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now, a man who won't let himself be
Down in a home, feeling so small
Down in a home, losing my soul
I'm going to fly
But not a way to spend so long in hate
Down in a home, and they put all the spells in their face
I've eaten the sun, so my tongue has been burned off the taste
I have been guilty of killing myself in the teeth
I will speak no more of the feelings within
Down in a home, feeling so small
Down in a home, losing my soul
I'm going to fly
But not a way to spend so long in hate
There in this whole thing
Is what I want to be inside of you
I give this part of the things I want to be
Oh, I want to be inside of you
Stand and pray down in here, I said
Oh, I want to be inside of you
Oh, I want to be inside
Down in a home, feeling so small
Down in a home, losing my soul
Down in a home, feeling so small
Down in a home, having control
But not a way to spend so long in hate
Down in a home