Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #700 - Ian Edwards

Episode Date: July 10, 2019

Ian Edwards, a stand up comedian, writer, and co-host of the "Soccer Comics Rant" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. Ian's first comedy special, "Ideas Not Worth Spreading" will premiers on Comedy Central at Midnight on July 12, 2019.  This podcast is brought to you by: Quip - Go to getquip.com/joey and try their dentist designed electric toothbrush. When you go to getquip.com/joey you get your first refill pack FREE with a quip electric tooth brush. CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies go to CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off. 

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That was the Christ killer and Uncle Joey bitches. Here we go What's going on my brother, man, you know just chilling watching a Lee's fear of bugs. Oh that bug was I normally don't have one but he just kept throwing in that me That's he was right cuz I don't know if you guys you know, but this is 700 Congratulations, so this is it seems right that your torturing Throwing a bug at me for eight times. You might not survive this 700. I'm definitely not that fucking bug was big huge That motherfucker locked up. How are you? I'm good man. You looking good. I'm trying We got a special coming out. Yeah, man, so the smoothest motherfucker

Ah What's happening man, just chilling you looking good to leave got some cardio running from a bug Oh, yeah, it's good to see him exercise You made him burn calories. That's enough for a few months. What's going on with the soccer thing in still going man woman's soccer You're all in. Yeah, I'm all in they finished Sunday, right? No, I know I know that they won They just got back to fucking Jersey and have a parade tomorrow in New York. Damn. Yeah, I didn't even know that part I just watched the final and then I just left the bar. Yeah, I didn't know I don't know nothing about nothing I don't know not about one. I just know USA chicks one

This is the fourth championship. Yeah, the fourth second women's World Cup. Yeah, second row shit like that They're only getting four million men are getting a hundred million. They're all upset. I got something to say about that too but well first like yesterday I was at the bar and I watched the game and After the game everybody watched the trophy ceremony But after that everything dissipated and that let me know we are not in a soccer country If you are any in any country in the world That's a soccer country and you win a World Cup whether men or women you are celebrating For weeks, you know saying like you're hearing drums and shit outside a impromptu carnival just broke out

People are taking off from work all week like yeah, they won but after they were it was just over You know saying and that's not like you in South America and you win some shit like people are getting pregnant right now Based off that title. It's like in Mexico and the guys scored the goal in the wrong thing and the the narcos shot him Yeah, that's at Columbia. So yeah weeks later. Yeah, Columbia weeks later that you know People are still hurt over that stuff. You know I'm saying like crazy. It's more personal and until America Everybody including the players and the people who love the game get that personal You know, and I'm saying we should kill somebody and not saying that until we win something like get to the point where

It's we're so into it that we you know when somebody wins an NBA title or NFL title like it's a riot Was there any riots yesterday? No. No, everybody just clapped and walked home Where did your love for soccer come from your native country? Growing up. I mean, where did your love for soccer come from? I was just born into it. Like I grew up in I was born in England Right, so then you can't escape it there. It was either soccer or cricket and fuck cricket Not fucking with cricket and then so soccer played as a kid in the schoolyard

Like almost every day every day and then when we moved to Jamaica when I was nine Jamaica is a former colony of Britain. So one of the few things that they left us was soccer You know I'm saying so moving there. That was another everybody loves soccer That's how dudes used to get girls in high school if you were when you played on a high school soccer team in Jamaica Like you're in the newspaper, you know, I mean, it's like college sports here So it's like you'd want to if you were motivated you almost a pro, you know, I mean like high school football Soccer is big in Jamaica, you know, you're you score a goal your team wins you save a goal You get a red card or anything. You're in the paper. Everybody all over the island knows about you

They you'll have a nickname and everybody knows about you. So it's just a big deal Does it upset you as a real fan because every I I don't hate it, but whenever I see the world cup like you hate it, bro I kind of do I like whenever the whenever the world cup comes around people pretend like they care Like they had those like those horns a few years ago And they really don't like I mean there's some people who do like soccer But it seems like a huge majority of them are just doing it so they can drink at 6 a.m. And then they don't who really cares Well, how old are you?

Uh, I never tell how old were you when you came to the states 17 and what year was that? Uh, I don't I never tell because then people could figure it out. Okay. Give me an approximation of what year you came to the states uh let's say late 80s 90s yeah, so in like 73 I got out of Catholic school and I was allowed to play football But I was too heavy for the eagles. It was the eagles and the patriots in north bergen in my hometown

Those are high school. Those are high school. No, no, no those are revelation league Oh, okay, so I had to play in uh Somebody A catholic school in union city had a what they called semi pro But it wasn't semi pro was just a bunch of fucking kids that couldn't make weight Under regular thing or that bad grade. So I went up there for a couple Of games and I kind of enjoyed it. It was a little rough

And I was at my mother's bar one day and a Spanish dude said you play football and I go, yeah And he goes, do you want to come play at Hudson county park on saturday? I go, sure And he picked me up from my mother's house, you know when I got in the car nobody had a football shirt on Nobody had a helmet nobody had fucking shoulder pads and there and when I got there they were playing soccer Oh, and I go, what the fuck is this shit? And at that time it was In 1975, I mean pelle was huge, right, you know, that's all I know about soccer that pelle was huge But it wasn't What it is today, I mean it took a long time to get to what it is today

When my first daughter was born in 1990 In 95 she was playing soccer and I was like, what? Like I was in shock that had grown to a wreck Sport now I thought it was big in my area because of the spanish population Yeah, yeah, yeah because of the spandex south american population the columbians and shit like that Ecuadorians and south deoradoians, yeah, but it has grown. It has made progress what you have to come with grips is This country belongs to the nfl. Yeah, they even gave it its own fucking day

They took it away from the church What does that tell you, you know, what is it? What was the day they took away from the church sunday sunday? Oh, yeah It's hilarious They couldn't take away a saturday college football said fuck the juice And they took away a saturday But that's how big football is right and you have to come to that's why I love when rogan even would say I don't give football to rogan what dana white does on a saturday They do 13 of those on sunday, right?

twice the size More tickets shirts volume and they got it. Yeah, because one game holds more than like Like an ufc event you got to put on multiple fights They do that every saturday what the ufc does did this week They do that every sunday for 17 weeks plus the playoffs Plus preseason, you know, so yeah, what are you talking about the sizes? It's two different things we're talking about soccer will grow in this country But i'll never be that the nfl. No, I know like somebody asked me before is it like, uh, what's wrong with soccer in america?

America didn't invent soccer. That's the problem with soccer in this country Like every sport you're talking about like football baseball Uh, just whatever other sports they're thriving in america. They were invented here And you know soccer is growing here like you said, but I've accepted that It's never gonna be as big and then lee was saying do I get mad when world cup time comes around and people Jump on the back. Yeah, like with every fucking sport Yeah, but when the rams were playing a bunch of blondes with ram shit I don't even know what a fucking ram is

You know, nothing bothers me more than that. We were talking about concert shirts Right the other day on the podcast how these new kids are just wearing shirts They go buy a 40 hour concert shirt and take them aside. That makes you bad Give me two fucking songs from that album and I'll suck your dick right here. Let's start Don't start stuttering. How can you represent? Well, Joey, suppose they don't want to blow job. That's why they're stuttering Who the fuck knows, you know, who doesn't want to blow job unless you're Who doesn't want that dick suck everybody wants that dick suck everybody wants a candy stroke I'm a little joy, I love you, but if I was wearing a closet t-shirt and you say you offer me a blow job

To name two songs. I'm gonna forget the two songs But it's so weird how we just don't Soccer is growing and I'll tell you what That same thing I saw in Hudson County in 1975 or whatever it was Today that same park Has six or seven soccer fields lighted They look like something my buddy's the assemblyman So he redid that park after park. They took away the baseball. Is he uh, it's soccer

Is he where is he your buddy from jersey? We grew up together. Is he american? Yes. Is he like what is it? He's italian, but he knew that that's what our town is come on north bergen Hudson County's got to be 60 Hispanic, you know, so what are you gonna do in fact football is down in this country I believe soccer will grow now Because it's an activity that Parents will put their kids in look at the number of football programs now For your kids under 12 I guarantee it's not what it was 10 years ago because parents aren't putting their kids

They're worried about injuries and shit injured right yeah brain damage. So I think soccer will That's another option. You know instead of football. So let me soccer now Soccer baseball basketball, you know, it'll it'll get bigger and I could be wrong What you were what you were just saying about how the NFL does so much more than the UFC In like europe doesn't soccer or football do way more than the NFL like aren't the stadium huge huge huge Yeah, but the NFL does great over there. Look what happened a couple weeks ago. Oh, yeah The red socks made the Yankees in england, right? No, yeah, they're thinking about moving an NFL team to england. Yeah I mean with tv and the way everything is like sports can travel and sometimes it's a novelty

To get like an american game there. So everybody's like this game is gonna happen one time here So everybody comes to it and then when I you know, you go to europe They like I was in europe Doing shows and I saw lebron playing high school His last high school game was on tv on a cable channel in england and I was like I mean A high school fucking kid You know saying like he was that big so you know sports travel man

And then a lot of soccer players are friends with a lot of NFL players and basketball players like they they talk on twitter They go visit each other and they're like cool or like the big european stars like the namars and the messes and the Rinaldo's they know people over here. They know You know the curries and the lebrons and all that shit. So it's kind of it's kind of really cool. You know saying No, it's it's it's I mean it's not as big as people would want it, but it's making leaps and bounds I accept and the last 30 40 years it's made a lot of fucking leaps and bounds Did you do still play soccer at all you ever get out there? No, my knees are bad. That's it Yeah, so now it's just stand up like a motherfucker. It's just stand up like a motherfucker. Yeah, like the last time I got an injury

Joey, I didn't even fall I just played that day and I took me on purpose that I just played lightly and My leg was fucked up for three months Like I couldn't even walk And like when you just get unexplained the injuries like I didn't He's flinching

I knew he was gonna fall on me, but He was read just He's terrified over here. Yeah, I know. I definitely have what is munch houses like what syndrome do I have? You got every fucking syndrome. You know this time. You got more syndromes than syndromes. Yeah Who gives a fuck at this point? That's good. No, I'm not I'm never gonna breathe your farts in that's good Look at your bronchitis one away. Yeah, he just cured something. Yeah, because I'm doing the bonnet. Oh my god Because you inhale these things

Look at you see and it cleaned out your lung. Yeah far too tremendous. You look healthier now. Yeah Yeah, you do. Where's that fucking bug? You're gonna work out or fart out everything What uh The special you're excited about it. Yeah, I'm excited about it. What was the last time you put together a special couple years ago No, the cd was with conan the cd was conan and I never had a special So this is your first special first special, man One of the best guys working today one of the best joke writers in the business

And they treat you like fucking Montgomery Jones, you know, I know it had to be it's just the If it wasn't for like the support Of like, you know, I write on shows and stuff But if the support of like people like rogan you Like tosh and burr, you know saying like like comics that people respect and just other comics too Like like they'll help you out more than like the industry sometimes, you know saying which is the industry's job sometimes

You know comics with power that I have control of their own podcasts and shit They're like fuck it. You should have something or you should have this And I like the community of comedy for that, you know saying like you have people on your podcast Including me and you help them out and they come on and then they get more followers and all of a sudden their agency wants to Help them more because they see that their following is growing So I just like that comics have more control now and more say You know part of comedy is doing stand up And writing jokes and you know in this life

You're not gonna like everybody. All right, you know life isn't that fair I wish you could like everybody But for the most part there's a handful of comedians and we all get along And you look out for each other and you live and die for that motherfucker And that makes that's part of this job is encouraging Especially once you get past 40 and you've been and you're a longer in the toot than the young guys

Sometimes going up to a young guy that's doing comedy three or four years And tapping them in the shoulders and saying that's a funny joke It's better than going to montreal. Yeah, it's better than getting a role in the movie. You know It keeps you going validation validation From your peers Keeps you going. Yeah, you know, I hate when somebody sends you a tape makes you Validate them like makes you say something. I can't say something. I gotta see you 20 times. Yeah I gotta see you with different audiences

At the store how you tackle when you have to follow fuck when chris rockwalk said And so he was supposed to follow fucking johnny door There was some fucking guy and also chris rocks walker and you gotta adjust your game, right? And also i'm sitting in the back and i'm like god damn he went up there with no fear Right, he said fuck chris rock and he went up there like fucking the savage, you know You really have to see people. Yeah, you get along with people when you see How they act and after a while You have to reach out, you know, just because we're up there alone with a microphone. Don't mean we're selfish, right?

Does not mean we're selfish it means that we just chose that we want to go up there naked Anybody could join an improv fucking troupe or they guys and giggle and have your friends come see and tell you a marvelous You know in my world. I respect stand-up comics I really have a big Because I know what they're going through I know what they're going through at the fifth year the 10th year the 15th year Because you've been there you've seen it. You know what you feel like you feel like shit So when I saw that bill

Was producing the podcast for you and stuff. I was very happy. Yeah, you know that that that brings that How long you've been friends with bill Shit, I'm doing it for a long time one fucking time from new york You know what i'm saying and when I first moved out here, he had moved out here He had booked some pilot, but then I guess it got canceled So he was going to bounce and I was like yo stick around was that that was 97 97 98 or something 98 when his show got cancelled and then he went back he went back

And he did the right thing glad he didn't listen to me. He started from scratch. Yeah Just hitting the clubs He was a little depressed, you know because we're all depressed when we lose that shot Yeah, because we think it's going to define us and me because normally because you've seen that be Somebody's only shot Is that one shot and if you don't take that like there's some great comics from like the 80s and 90s Like, you know, what's what's the guy that killed himself in the shower? He's a platypus man. He had Richard. Johnny was one of the greatest fucking comics one of the greatest

This one shot it felt like and then after that or maybe had a bunch of pilots But one made it to the air and didn't work out and that haunted him it feels like Ian, what's a shot? What is the shot this month? Okay, describe a shot For people who are not comics people What is the shot? Well, I'll tell you what a shot used to mean and then now You don't even know what the fuck a shot is right now

Because it can happen so many different ways A shot could be Today an instagram post that goes viral It could be a youtube it could be when you did you just told me off air You did the podcast with rogan in december and everybody listened to it and then the guy Upstairs that you've been with the agency for four months called down the other guys. Hey, you didn't tell me you had joey dears And then your ball gets rolling. You know what I mean? Like when I started a shot was You is a step by step

Set of shots first you try to get an audition for montreal So you get the audition that's a part of the shot Then you audition for montreal and then they say yes, you can go to montreal So there's another step or phase of the shot and then when you're at montreal you kill And then then you got meetings and after the meetings you get a tv show deal and then You see if your show gets picked up to even get shot That's another part of the shot and then you should have the show gets picked up to go

On the air and then you see if it lasts on the air if it lasts a year Or two years or three years your shot is over You know i'm saying because nobody will remember that show it's the show that was on Nine to ten years or eight years that people will remember so but then Now You can kind of fail upwards I feel like

Now if you are on a show you can parlay that Now more and say well, I was on this show and people are looking for people there's more platforms There's more channels. There's more shows. So people are all right. Let's get that guy He was on he was sanctioned by these people on this network or platform So maybe we can use him on ours, you know what I mean? But the terminology shot has kind of changed Well now shot for me man Your big break, right

You know how many big breaks I thought I was on the guy 30 30 You know, I mean, let's take the longest shot for example I thought that was gonna change my life right now that way. It's been out of the air for 13 years We can get out of the way. Right. How could it not change your life? Look at the Cast look what adam sam was damaged. He was doing in 2005 2004 2000 Anything he touched turned to go. Well, I was shooting the movie. They said it's all over

Like it's all over like once this movie comes out. You write your own ticket. Here's the fucked up thing I forgot using the move. Yeah, you know, it's that's the fucked up thing. The crazy thing is that you I remember the movie getting released and Just sitting at home and looking at the phone and nobody called and then Nick tutorial got a bunch of movies and Lobo got a bunch of movies and Tracy Morgan got put in fucking 30 rock and terry cruz forget what a terry cruz and

I didn't I forgot he was in this. Yeah. There I was the fucking ugly chick at the dance Did you feel bad that when you saw everybody getting shit? Horrible. Yeah, horrible. How would you feel if you thought This was it. Your life was going to change. Right when I say change. What was I do? Do I think I was going to be driving a A convertible fucking maserati with 20 people in the car. No You know what change was for me 20 weeks of work? Right 200 people coming to my shows maybe

Mm-hmm Getting that agent to book you getting a stronger theatrical agent. All right, none of that happened Did you have an agent at the time when you got it? Yeah, he was a bum, then And he's a bum now. He's like tiny montan's scarface You know, it was it was it didn't change him that you got that it's set me fucking like the movie came out in May And by October I was a fucking mess. Yeah, son like the phone had it rang

No agents came and spoke to me, you know, but if that was somebody I'm not crying right if that was somebody else who got it It would have been all over. It would have been a billboard. It would have been a variety Congratulations to this guy our client for doing this, you know It's just a weird the things that didn't happen and I'm not crying. I got the experience of my life But when I was doing that movie a wise man told me He pulled me aside when they goes you you're doing great in this But this is this has to take time. It's got to take cultures and

Recently I see on you go under the fucking roguin podcast Nobody knows who the fuck you are They look you up and now they go that's the fat dude from the longest yard Now they research more. Yeah, so what I learned was everything comes back in cultures Right everything that mad tv you did that nobody fucking saw Now one night they air it at 11 o'clock and there's a million people home because there's a snow storm And you're a fucking star. Right. So everything takes cultures Everything comes in cultures. What you did in 2007 if it was good

History's gonna come back to repeat itself. Right. You know many times people call hit me on twitter and say, I didn't know you Were my name is Earl They don't know. Yeah, so it comes back now. They'll go pay the five hours Right. Ah now that's validation. Ah That's my favorite show now. I gotta go see him All those things and for me it was not a movie, right? Like for me, it was not a movie It was not me killing on the road people fucking hated me on the road

It was telling a hooker story telling a whole story about me mugging a hooker So it blew me away and you told that on the podcast. I told another podcast The only place you could fucking tell the next thing, you know, there was a hundred people I showed down in the alley with cheering to tell the hooker story. Yeah But like the one thing I I think you guys Not not are missing but maybe don't realize how big it is because I'm almost two years in Like I see people like a shot for me is you letting me do the Wilbur is Felipe letting me do a guest spot at carolines

like that sort of stuff that like To me because I got I've seen people who are that's not a shot. No to me. It feels like a shot. That's just An opportunity for you to look into the ocean from the fucking beach and go oh That's what the bottom of the ocean. Oh, no, but I don't mean I'm gonna get an agent and blow up I just mean like it's it's the next step. It's like no right now. You got no shots in your future Your future is getting on stage right now for the next two years until you don't think there's levels of shots

No, there's levels of shots But for you a guest spot at carolines isn't really going to propel you. It's just to show you What it's going to be like. It's like when jim valvano Made his players cut the net down Before the season began to show them but it was to show them What to feel like when they cut the net down, right? That's what that's for you for that's that's fuel in your engine That's fuel in your engine, right? Yeah when you go up in front of 1200 people when you bomb You're gonna go home and that's fuel in your engine. I'll never be mad at you because

We all went through that bomb The first time we got up in a big theater and we throw in they gave you a guest spot You fought and and you're excited all of a sudden they didn't laugh at you Now you're back to square one. So it's really not a shot. These are opportunities for you to peek behind the curtain And go oh, that's what it's like to go up in front of 1500 people get some experience and learn to do a friday night That's what it's like. You're at the two-year mark. Well, all you need to do is get on stage Put your head down. Oh, no, I don't expect anything But to me that's because because I see people at open mics who've been at open mics for 10 years and haven't done a real show

So to me, that's a shot. I mean maybe in 10 years So you control in this business you control what you want to do and it starts by the word. No I'm not doing that no more I'm not doing that place no more I'm gonna lose doing five spots a week But the two spots that I do do are really gonna elevate me right Those are the things that you're level right now. All you got to worry about is what you're not gonna do anymore

And how you're gonna propel yourself up. But in the meanwhile, all you got these look at bill burr taught us a big lesson bill burr got his head knocked off with a tv show that was The reason why it hurt bill more than it did was because it had all the makings Right to be the next sign though. It just wasn't a tv show with him and Fucking some bum from the store It had the guy from office space Dharma from darman greg It had an all-line-up cast at the end. I don't remember that. So yeah, I just remember he was on it

So when he went down if you learn anything from tom rhodes margaret show Greg geraldo tom rhodes margaret show bill burr and greg geraldo those four people The biggest lesson I learned Was that once your show gets cancelled?

And while that show's getting taped keep getting on that fucking horse. Yeah, because that's the key What you and I have witnesses mother fuckers that get a tv show And go shit. I don't need stand up then the show gets cancelled after three years And now those guys that they were neck and neck with it's doing stand up Are now a level on top of them because they quit and now their show's a failure Now they got to start all over again. They're going out thinking they're gonna get class Oh, you want that show they got cancelled and you got to start all over again starting all over again

Those are the motherfuckers I take my props off to Because most people after their show fails at cbs They go away. They become real estate agents Hilarious they really do and we've seen it and I've seen it I can name five guys that came to this town That had more heat than you me And sebastian put together from fucking montreal Came down here

Got a shot at a tv show The show the pilot didn't get picked up now the agents are a little wary and then by mistake one night They happen to walk into the comedy store And they have to follow I saw a motherfucker that was good looking Looked like steve reeves. I forget what his name was looked just like superman built like superman Went up to montreal in 98 got all this fucking clout deals Was it funny or just good looking? He was just good looking. Yeah, and they gave him the

And they gave him and I'll never forget him walking into the store with four jews You know with suits on You know, and that's a lot of jews And I'll never forget that motherfucker had a follow up dice in the main And he fell apart hard I never saw him back at the comedy store. In fact, I never saw that motherfucker again. Did dice leave with his jews? Dice left with the three wise mate only one little assistant jew left with him

You know, I've seen that a thousand times I've seen that a thousand times and people think they come out here And you know, and listen, I'm not gonna lie to you in 1987 I thought if I got a job bartender, I'd be discovered Just bartended. Yeah. Oh, yeah Mixed drinks and somebody was like commenting. Oh, you're perfect for hollywood. I was retarded, too And then I got here and I realized, you know, and uh, what's the movie that made uh, those two guys famous Not sleepers, but the ones that they went on. Oh, I know you're talking about swingers swingers

Yeah, he has a line in there. What are you talking about? I gotta work hard I heard they were giving out development deals at the airport at lax. That's what it was like in 95 And the networks found out hard That the choices that uh, all these networks put on them these guys couldn't cover the spread Yeah, the networks gave money to the wrong people to the wrong people and then they Thousands of dollars. Yeah, millions bro millions millions. Yeah, I know people that are on a list I heard this in the cat a vp once we were talking. He was telling me that fox for example Every year

They have a list of like 10 to 20 people They're like past movie stars. Uh-huh. Oh, I kind of showing a fail They'll give him 250 thousand dollars just to lock them in Just in case something happens. They're playing the long game. Yeah, just in case somebody picks them up. Boom Just in case somebody has a script. Boom. They got them You know people who are that you've forgotten about right something like jenna davis for example Who was hot 20 years ago? They got a little don't give jenna davis a quarter of a million dollars and hold her for a year

Quarter of a million some just in case shit just in case shit. Yeah, then they'll give a couple blacks Mm-hmm deals a couple latinos deals So when the fucking black organizations and the latino organizations raised their hand and go, what about black people? What about latino? What are you talking about? We gave such and such a developmental day didn't do that with him. Well such and such has been on stage for a year He doesn't even know how to wipe. He doesn't even know how to bring somebody. I still remember That's crazy. They just covering their ass don't I still remember Being at the store on a sunday night and then bringing a kid in who had destroyed in montreal

and the kid You could tell by how he held the microphone that he was a dud You know how they hold the mic open like this hold the microphone with the wing open You could he couldn't even do an intro. He's like somebody with their first cigarette You know at the commie store how you have to bring up the next guy. He didn't even know how to do the intro When he put the mic back in he was fumbling. They gave that guy a half a million dollar deal But after taxes and everything it's 340 right and guess what that guy goes and buys a car an apartment His shell don't get picked up. He's a waiter in six months

He's a waiter in six months It's not even the shot It's what you do with it If you're a fighter and I punch you with the best right hook And you stagger a little bit and I get on top of you and he buckles you and gets out I didn't do nothing with that right hook. Yeah, you just need the shot that right hook was a fucking nightmare You know when we got here the shot was this He and edwards had a tv show

He put you on reoccurring six out of ten episodes when the season's over I go out and sell out fucking all the improv That's what it used to be like No more you could do 10 tv shows now. Ain't nobody coming to see us But I think Ian's right if you have if you have big instagram you can sell out 10 shows at the improv I'm not I'm not talking about that. Okay, but if you have an instagram Okay, and you hit and one of these greedy agents these galvones pick you up and they book you and they charge 30 dollars for you You're gonna get them for the 30 one time It's like going to see screech

He's gonna get you for the 30 one time And then you're gonna go this is a waste of my time Right anybody who knows stand-up number one will not fall for that trick Anybody who's in the stand-up game will not fall for the beauty of it now. Like there's stand-up nerds Right. They're so they're so invested They're so invested and they follow everybody They treat us like marvel characters or some shit or you know dc versus like they invest just as much time into Like where this person from who they associated with what they said what joke they got like they're into it

That's beautiful the internet Like I didn't even knew comedy would ever be like that But it's great that it is because anybody that spends so much time is dedicated to comedy when you come to town They're gonna come and see you know what I mean So it's so they're loyal to you and you're a part of their lives, you know what I mean like like it's not even music Is what taking the place of their music, you know, I'm saying like you know, you have to soundtrack to your life Like we're the laugh track to their lives and it's just I don't know when it happened how it happened

But even me I'm taking a while to realize that myself that oh shit, you know, sometimes people say some shit to me. I'm like I didn't even remember I said that or How did you even hear me say that or hear that comic say that and people are just invested And that's the advantage that we have right now I love when a stupid fucking show gets hot on some stupid channel And some fucking agent that's got no morals Takes these three fucking idiots and puts them on the road and they sell out all over the country

These poor guys don't really know it. Right. They really think they're the shit And at last, you know, you get people once maybe once twice And then they go see Ian Edwards For the small 22. Right and they go Well, that was a prectif. That's a real Fucking guy that knows what he's doing. He set up punchlines. He told stories. He had structure. He had continuation You know, there's a guy that's a real fucking stand up

You know, then there's not a lot of those guys around that are real I'm not a real stand up like those stories and I use energy to trick the fucking audience This guy is a monologist. He tricks you with his fucking words That's a real stand up. I'm gonna agree with you on the compliment you gave me and I'm gonna disagree with you On what you say about you. It's the truth But you have a diff you just have a you you changed Let me see how I put this man. You just you're not traditional But you are definitely a motherfucking comic

You know what I mean? I'm not the style. It breaks my heart that I'm not traditional even real You don't need to be like it breaks my heart. It's scary to be you Like to go on a part of the so say the stand up road is is paved and everybody goes this way And then joey's like out here, but he's still getting there Maybe even ahead of the people that's on there and it's like how To trust your instinct and do it away. That's never been done You know what I mean?

And maybe I don't know circumstances made you Just be like fuck it. I'm gonna be the ultimate joey the ultimate me I don't know what it did, but that's that's just dope. You know what I'm saying? That's what stands up is. Yeah It's being the ultimate you yeah, we get here and we get tricked Hey, I do material about your family if you want to show Hey, you can't do that. Hey, you can't do this and then one day something comes out of you. I hate fucking hikers Yeah I wish they all died when they go on those hikes and they get lost

And that's your heart talking. Yeah, that's what the audience wants Yeah, and then you find out how many people hate hikers too and then they'll go, you know, I fucking hate hikers too Yeah, I went on a hike this morning. I didn't want to go and I hated everybody on the path with me It's it's your heart opens up I looked at things I looked how they wanted to do them and I refused right That style of I look I'm and you probably struggled when you tried to do it In the beginning the way they said to do it and that's so you're like, I'm in comedy I'm trying to do it the right way. They say but I don't feel like doing it this way

But I have to or else I ain't gonna make it and then the day you're like Fuck it if it means making it That's a good one. That's the best That's wrong You're not gonna you're not gonna thank him for curing you Who raised you you have no respect I think that one I think Lee and I and somebody else were in here the other day and they said I'm not a good comic when I'm getting ready for something

Like I don't ever want to show I don't ever want to shoot a special guy. I'm not a special type of comic. I can't shoot specials There's certain comics to the brilliant you and Anthony jazzle making there's so many comics into the setup punchline. They trick you They take you down the road. They show you their magicians with their words They show you this hand and they fucking finger bang you with the other one I can't I can't I can't do it. I I get too tight I get too locked in

You know when they say you're not performing for the audience you're performing for the people at home All that shit fucks with me. You know what? I want to see live comedy. I want the glass to fall off the thing and break I think some of the specials have become too polished. Right and I want to bring back that nasty gritty You know Richard Pryor at the improv with the menu behind them type shit or damn red fox recording an album at a fucking party or some shit like that In a basement like that. Yeah crazy was that? Yeah, I love all that, you know my love of comedy was

Putting the fucking needle on the album and it being a little bumpy and You just heard a gritty and you heard people sneezing and you heard people moving their silverware went from the table I love all that shit That's all part of the motherfucking mystique because that type of shit takes you right there You're listening to an album all of a sudden you're in that room Where it was recorded while you're listening to the fucking album. It's like you took lsd and it just transported you to like Another plane, you know what I mean? So I get that who shot you special for you All things comedy all things comedy

They have their own crew, right? They have well they they got a line producer who hired some people and we like Looked at them and shit, but the director is another comic In his name is a Aristotle of theorists Okay, and uh, he just did something on comedy central called goat face goat face With a bunch of like uh other arabic Yeah Yeah, and Hassan and Yeah, I forgot some of the people's names right now. So he just he directed that and he acted in that and so

He was me and him were going to shoot the special regardless We were like, listen man, I got to shoot a special by the end of this year. So he said hey, man I'll direct it And so we were out looking for venues I'm trying to narrow it down and I was going to do the concept Shit these friends are here. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to do the concept. Yeah, it's his farts bring him in Uh as a Ted talk, right? Regardless and then Burnham

Hit me up because he had a deal With comedy central to produce three specials and he knew I hadn't had a special Me and him had just done some shows in Atlanta and he was like, hey man You want to you know shoot this uh, you want to be one of the specials and now I was not I wasn't going to use my money. They were going to pay me, you know what I'm saying I was going to try to just use my money shoot it and then try to sell it Well, this way Now I'm getting paid and there's already a home for it

So and then I get to own it back in like six years. So it's fine. I'll take it Good deal. You're happy with it. Yeah, I'm happy with it. Yeah, how did you prepare for it? Uh, uh This is how I prepared for it. I knew Last year that I wanted to shoot a special So I turned down writing jobs to prepare for it Like before Burnham and hit me up right I know like if I take Some of the writing jobs, I'm going to be in a room and I won't be able to

Hit the club as much. I'll be tired. I won't be able to write home and you know Like prepare the material like cook it right and travel. So I just turned down Any writing job, you know saying and just I did shows in Vegas I did shows anywhere here fucking party Just anywhere, you know, it's improv the live factory the store In new york just anywhere. I just did shows. Did you work on 15 minute chunks? Yeah, sometimes I would headline places. I'd work out the whole thing I did shows in palm desert where I got to do the whole thing run the whole thing

I did the rec room And then sometimes 15 minutes now, let me work on this part. I'm some are come up with a new joke Let me make sure this joke is ready for the special and it Fits in with the rest of my other material or the section of material That it's going to follow in that order. So, you know, just anywhere I could get on What kind of writing preparation do you do how many hours a day if Uh Would you have a time in them? I always try to write before I do a set at night

You know, so just to loosen you up to get your mind going to get my mind going Yeah, it doesn't even necessarily have to be comedy with me. Right. I could write a Chat a couple paragraphs in the book. Right. Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah. Just to stay loose. Just to stay loose Yeah, so I just work on my shit before I go on like an hour or two And then sometimes you come up with new shit. Sometimes you just like my memory is shitty Like if I don't go on for two days, I don't even remember the whole act Now I can't even remember for 10 minutes. So it's just good to go over and get a refresher So that I'm not stumbling crazy up there. You know what I mean? I felt that

I've tried to do that. I didn't prepare correctly for the Netflix special. Why not? I didn't think about it how I should prepare if I would have known what I would have known today I would have done five split the spots a week at the store at midnight Midnight is perfect right five 15 minute spots Tuesday through Saturday, that's it. No where else That's it Maybe go to the improv before the comedy store And try out the set and then polish it up on the way over to the store

If I ever get a special that'll be When I did my special Somewhere in my mind. I said that I'm going down to the store and I'm performing for people Who already know who I am right? I want to try my material in places where People don't know who the fuck I am. Don't put me on the list So I went to all the smaller clubs around town And when I got there I found myself catering to the room instead of my special And uh

Yeah, it didn't hit me till I got on the plane That next morning when I got on the plane back home from Vegas And the shoot the Netflix special was when I hit me. I didn't prepare right That's what I always say when you get a motherfucker to get knocked out When he's sitting there and the doctors are looking at his eyes. Dang really, he's fine. All right He's just thinking about all this shit. How are you fucked up? Right? He should have worked more on his right punches He should have worked on his leg kicks. He should have taken he should have stayed to the game plan, you know, right? I think that working out at the store

Is like working out at that gym or Muhammad Ali used to work out When angelo dundee is as good as it gets right you got to follow something new every night It's dark. I don't know just something about working out at the store It's definitely a Philly boxing gym At but the store, you know saying our old school Philly boxing gym and that's what I like about it like If your shit works there in the or Most likely to work around the country unless you go somewhere

Where people are just ultra sensitive You know what I mean? And I'm fine with my material Not always working with those people. It wasn't meant for them. It's not meant for everybody. Everybody's not meant for everybody So I'm fine with that. But yeah, how long have you been in the game for now? Uh, shit almost 30 years Yeah It's gonna be 20 years for me and joy. How fucking crazy is that we Stuck with something for 30

fucking years. I had no choice once I saw good fellas Why because I was young when I saw good fellas and it was Joe Pesci And it's the first time I saw him. I said, who is this old motherfucker and how come He never gave up and he got this moment and now his career Is gonna last forever. I was like because he's acting besides the nearer who had already had an entire full career and

Does good fellas and I didn't know Pesci was in uh, was it raging bull raging but I don't know how much time it was in between raging bull and that But I was like if he had quit You know Because back then I you back then I knew all the actors because they weren't as many as there are now They weren't as many channels. They weren't as many studios. So you could like so if you see somebody Even if they were had a bit roll you'd notice him. So I didn't notice Joe Pesci from anything. So I felt like This guy kept on acting wherever he was acting to be ready for this moment

And I was like and when I saw that movie in that movie theater, I was like, oh, he's gonna win an oscar You said that I said that I swear to god. That's how good he was and when they killed him Sorry for any spoilers If you haven't watched good fellas by night, you deserve to be shot And when they killed him the movie was over for me. I like why am I watching this? Like think about it when when joe put pesci dies in good fun. What else? Is left in that movie And I was like this guy so that that was a weird connection I made

When I saw and I like I'd never give up and then another thing Why I knew I'd never give up because the moment I realized I was going to do it I'm like I'm doing this for life and another thing was uh I'd quit soccer And uh, that was my first love and dream and there was no professional league in this country and then Years after there was one and it was just too late to get back in a groove And it's like shit. If I'd never given up I might have been able to play at least one year in the mls just one year or two

And I was like man, I'm never giving up on anything ever again that I love And even when I'm not famous or rich I'm still having some of the most fun Of my life. I'm still laughing. I'm still meeting the best people And people who I end up being fucking great motherfuckers, you know what I mean? That you didn't even know they were just people to you and you're like, you don't know and look look They end up being trend setters and shit like that and like culture changes And they're just motherfuckers who are in the

In the in the in the the the gutter would you just grind it now? We just like this person's from boston from uh Wherever and then now we look down the road decades later and like Look at these people And it's like if I had to give it up on comedy and it's gotten a job You know how heartbroken I'd be at home. You imagine right now. You know what I mean? I had the same experience as you From when I got left back

In the seventh grade my life became basketball Like I was like fuck pussy pussy make you get left back I'm gonna focus on whoops like a motherfucker. And that's all I did. I went to willis re basketball camp You know superstar with that the hurleys That's all I did. I lied took 300 jump shots every morning like jerry west. That's how I started my day 300 jump shots, you know Then I go play then I go home and lift weights Then I'd rest when there was human then I go back out and play again and I go home and eat dinner

And then I had late night games and I was part of leagues and My freshman year some guys just didn't like me. So he didn't start me In fact, the motherfucker didn't play me and I was destroying I mean I was the one of the best guys on that team by far He just didn't like me And I let that motherfucker beat me. Yeah, he beat me that I turned to drugs. I mean that was the beginning of my heavy drug zone like acid and shit because It didn't work out. I didn't know how to handle it. And it's just one guy

That was one guy that that and dog until 10 years ago. I was gonna kill that motherfucker I heard that he just became a fucking drunk. He got fired He was a piece of shit at the end. I was like, you know, I let him die a miserable life, but he Changed my life forever. All right for 20 years. I was pissed off at him But me quitting basketball really fucked me Like it really fucked me like after I quit basketball I lasted two more years in school Because I had no reason to go to school no more

You know when I first saw a kid from my neighborhood in the final a kid from my neighborhood made a test To like he started for North Carolina as a freshman. Jesus. You know what that's like a white dude Jersey city Six for seven. Who is that his name is Michael corn and when I heard them go A freshman from Jersey, New Jersey You know, like I was just overwhelmed and let me know I could do it Right. It lets you know a motherfucker from Jersey City could do it. Shit. I'm from fucking blood burger. I got the tool Right. So when it fell down and I quit that it bothered me for a long time

He and so I knew for a fact Mm-hmm It took me two years to get on stage from being a pussy. Mm-hmm because I knew That once I got on that stage there was going to be no turning back Right Like I it was like what do they say to you when you get married and sickness or an health? Yeah. Yeah death too. That was it Yeah, that was it till death to his part and it was solidified when I got into the store in 97 All right, I was like now I got a problem

Yeah A good problem. It's like that's seen in Bronx town. Mm-hmm. Remember when he closes the door now you can't go Right. That's what it was like now. I had to know where to go. I was like Richard gear novice and the gentleman So I better follow down the rarer and keep taking these beats Take me get me. You know what I was killing right down was killing that little skinny brother with the dreads That me and rogan always talk about in the 90s at the store. He was spotless clean He talked about bouncing a check and you he got a standing ovation. Oh, there's who is that? He had dreads and he fucking shot a movie that

Lee you can put this this will go through the sweater. It's books freely Oh No, just because you have one of those little Japanese masks. Yeah, don't mean you get the full effect of the stars of my ass game Gonna help you take a breath. Take a breath. You take a breath. Oh that came over here. Oh, that's yeah You could be on naked and afraid With this like, you know how naked afraid the bugs eat the people at night or you there's one fart and it's bug-free All this is onions and mushrooms as soon as I was eating those onions I was eating them with Lee's name on it. I'm like, he's gonna love these guys

Look at the look of this poor bastard He eats for you. He does. I was not saying I had fish or protein shake today. I had that too I knew it. I had a protein shake too. Joey's like seven years old. Look at his face I love it. I'm just gonna start going to Muay Thai so I can learn how to kick him And it goes in his shirt. Now he'll smell it when he gets home. It's like going to a jersey bar when they smoke He takes that shirt off in the morning. He's like, what is that funky fucking odor in this goddamn shirt? But that that quitting that

Devastated me. So when I knew I got to come once I got into the store once 98 came I was I have all that was 35 or something And I knew that this was it. This is the only shot I got I was ever doing anything. Right. Never mind being successful. Right never mind being cabin hard. No, no, no, no I was just thinking about just do just telling people I got a job. Right good enough for me, you know, that's dope I remember Like in college I went to the college

I went to new york institute technology because they had a soccer team that made it to the semifinals of division 2 And I was like my sister went there. So I'ma go there So I went there to see if I can get on that team, you know And I the first year was terrible because the fitness level of those guys and they were english guys Haitians Argentinians like People from all like that coach got players from all over the world like People that didn't make it in the professionally in England by the time they were like 19

By then it was over But they were still fucking good in top level shape and there's England had You know England was into like them not the skillful player per se, but the the robots strong fast robot looking more fucking You know, and then these players were like Not as physical as those British professional players, but they were fucking good and So the first year was just terrible like we

do Like in the in the morning the drills were like crazy just to running cross country Just just fitness fitness fitness. So by the time I got the soccer to do scrimmage in the evening I So fatigued I couldn't even pass the ball to somebody with my shirt on I just kick it away just tired So then the second year I was prepared mentally I passed all the fitness tests and I played my ass off and then The assistant coach was like you're gonna make the team, right?

and then And he kept on telling the coach who wasn't always down at the field on practice like Ian's Ian's ready. So then that coach we had to play a scrimmage game You know season preseason game against another team and I was on the bench and then he put me in and then somebody passed me the ball And the defense player got it from me and then he stopped me right out And then the next day they had a team sheet for all the players We're gonna go on this away trip and I wasn't on that away trip

And I was like fuck this shit And I just quit Because I put so much into it And now I know it's kind of premature You know, so that's why comedy how old were you man back then? Yeah, like 2021. What the fuck did you know? Didn't know a shit. What the fuck that I know. Yeah, exactly. We think the world is over I thought it was over. Yeah, I really really When basketball ended for me, I still played on the street yard, you know, I still playing the schoolyard

But I didn't know what to do. I didn't know I didn't want to be one of those guys that transferred because he didn't play At north berg and that shit goes with them people, you know, if you're not playing at the top notch school, they don't know What are you gonna fucking do? And I was recruited by st. Anthony's Me this dude whitey old Donald Lear with this big white boy. I was six for five bad motherfucker And his first game in the eighth grade eighth grade six for five White big strong But his first game of the season dad played Kennedy school There was some jumping Puerto Ricans on there and they broke his fucking ankle

Oh, like they stayed jumped on it and stepped on it on purpose and Leroy went down. So Whitey ended up me and whitey were freshmen I just did and I could see That the kids on the team they were like in pain like the kids that I was tight with like judging me brain and whitey Kids that I've been playing with for a long time Well, I they couldn't figure out why this guy wouldn't fucking play me man And I couldn't figure it out and like two years later He got drunk at a bar one night and told him I hated that fucking cocoa kid

There was no way he was gonna play. He knew he couldn't cut me right because he would have got shot But he knew that And after that, I just hated on you just he just didn't like me and I still remember being in practices We used to do this thing Cincinnati Where it's a fast break drill And brother I stole the ball if they fast break down me 10 times I would steal the ball five times like I was that good, you know, I was a good rebounder I was a great shooter inside the paint. I was tough, but

He just didn't give me any love and I just decided the The best thing to do I quit two things, bro. I quit them back to back. I quit basketball first And then I quit karate and then oh, so you you were you were doing karate once I quit basketball And I started doing the drugs the karate guys are nice kids You know, so for me to do the drugs I couldn't do drugs around them and when I'm saying drugs It was smoking pot drinking

Boots fog, but that's big back then that was big back Those karate guys didn't even like they looked down at that. So I was sick and tired of living that double life So I just I know it is a double life. It's just so funny to look back at it. I couldn't like I would I would go to their parties Like at six and throw a few sidekicks and we would talk about things And I would go to the fucking drug parties and get all two to loot stuff and They didn't know about it. Then one day I was like, I can't hang out with them. No, I'm not doing nothing I'm just living one life. I'm just living one life. I'm a party. I'm gonna do my thing

And then I quit everything that set the pace for me and to quit everything Nothing was good enough. Nothing. Every time I got a job. What am I making 10 an hour? I work two days. I make what? 160 I can make that sound unable. Right once you sell drugs. You can't go back to a day job. You're like, what the fuck is this shit? Right So I quit everything and it became I just quit everything Can't quit after that. I just quit then when things got rough quit Quit quit quit and finally one day I go for me to get anywhere

Mm-hmm. You got to stick it out. Yeah, you know, it's like when I started selling cars All the salesman go with the hot salesman Ian leaves and then Ian calls me goes bro You're not gonna believe it. We can't keep the cars here and I go and ain't nothing going on That's 60 days later. I go I leave when I go somewhere else That's 60 days later. I go somewhere else and then one day I stop on my own dealership And out of the 12 guys I started with that dude that one dude stayed And he's making 200 000 a year

Because he stayed he learned the product right and he committed to it me. I was going to dodge one month Let's go sell toyotas. You don't know nothing about the car. Right. You don't build no rapport And that's why now I learned to stay with things because I fucked up so many things that I learned That it's not quitting the big things as much as the little things Like every Monday I have a sheet with the shit I gotta do I got four workouts. I got two podcasts. Yeah, I gotta do five and you do a lot of shit You end up doing a lot like when I turn on my instagram in the morning I see your morning message. I'm like, how is he doing this? I'm already up. That's what he needs to be doing

He's like you're smoking. You're saying something fucking funny and you just start the morning off. I'm like And I won't tweet the rest of the day. Just let them know they're awake. They could do it They could do it. Right the fuck is right. You know when I wake up in the morning, I'm like, damn Right, don't you wake up and go? Damn. I gotta go fucking back into that office and Deal with those people or whatever and then you got to kick yourself in the ass. Ain't nobody gonna kick you in the ass You got to go. You know what? Fuck these bitches I'm gonna go in there and bitch slap everybody with my dick today

And that's the attitude that gets you into the shower. That's the attitude that gets you out of the fucking house And that's it. Yeah, I did more. I was thinking on the way over. I did more today The most people doing a week. Yeah, but emails contacting people, but no one would think That you do that shit You know what I'm saying? Like just Just your your just your demeanor your lifestyle or maybe just your past like you're a fucking hard worker, bro You know what I'm saying to be You have to be

But you know what you always hustled what you you don't work as hard as I do I know for a fact you do but I might not think I do we none of us do yeah because we don't report somewhere Yeah, yes, we don't report somewhere. Yeah, but you know, I wake up in the morning at 10 o'clock all those agents and managers I talk about I got an email jack. Good morning. What's cracking today? That's the first email I send out. I wake everybody up. All right, and then after I wake him up I call those bitches just to let them know the dick is hard and I'm ready to stick in somebody's ass You know what I'm saying? Just send me to that fucking location. I'm gonna drop that fucking bomb on and it's just it

It takes a lot to be a comedian and people really have no idea and it takes even more now Than it used to before you just wrote your jokes and if you got a good agent they would handle everything now you you got a You got to do everything. Listen the agents in the old days had 11 clients. Now each agent has 25 clients You know They they could do some of the work for you But they can't do it all and they won't do it all like I said earlier. You have to gather the sticks gather the moss

Rub the sticks together blow oxygen and hopefully eventually they'll like to match Right and set that project on fire or That thought you have on fire or that idea you have on fire But you pretty much got to do the legwork. Yeah, man Comedy central just didn't give aria a storyteller show Right. He went into the fucking little room at the improv where they served no booze Then he started selling out the bigger room then he got the digital remember he got the digital first

Yeah, it was on digital that went right to youtube And then he got the big show. Yeah, but he had to start that that wasn't somebody an agent didn't call him and go Hey I just was driving to work Brilliant idea Why don't you be or start a story tell yourself? They're not gonna tell you that you have to build it from scratch. Look what kill. Tony's doing. Yeah. Look at what The dude did with that you sing

The rock and roll jam. You know my man from multiple Josh had a Josh had a Mayans did a phenomenal job. Did the show get picked up a comedy central? No, but he fucking sold it right and if he sold it once That means you can sell that bitch again, and he still does it and he still does it You know, we all forget was that when I got into comedy bill mar was on comedy central Yeah, bill mar was one of the original shows were politically incorrect Comedy central cancelled them. Where'd he take it to HBO? No ABC oh, yeah

With your boy writing jp So jp Anderson, what's his kp kp Anderson kp and I saw kp Anderson today look at that That is crazy. That's my boy. I've seen it in a year start 20 years. He's been there for me questions When he was a little writer on we used to go see bill mar And he was like a little writer for bill mar and he come on and welcome us You know, but I was curious if you had a writing thing just to help young comics is there a Uh

System that you use is there a certain like like for stand-up It's like Let that uh marinate a little bit Let the effect Is getting thick now This is going to be a long answer. So you you you'll probably get hit with a lot more by the end of this Look at Lee's face. Oh, he's loving this. Oh, yeah Conn's jipper crew

Joey actually blows it over there. That's hilarious God That's why you don't breathe any in that shit is strong Hey, bitch, you ain't coughing. Good. I'm breathing a little half a fat coffin away Charles bronson over there, oh, yeah, Charles Bronson covered his ears. He had good skin when he first came here Bruce Lee's not smiling anymore Good lord That is tremendous. Yeah, those those are tremendous fun. That's chardonnay right there

That's how the little skinny chinese dude that he's 40 hot dogs That's the kind of tear gas to cope. Yeah. No, he doesn't even have farts like that. Yes, he does These are tremendous I'm sorry to interrupt you guys. So what was the question again? My mind's just writing, you know, it's got reset I don't know when that was playing tennis with mitchhead bird. I said something to him. I go mitch I called you in the morning. I called you in the morning. You didn't answer and he goes I don't pick up the phone From nine to 11

And he goes I turn everything off And I just write I don't get up I take a breather. I fuck around And then I do it again for another two hours And I was blown the fuck away Like I was really I said I don't have for 10 minutes. That's why he was mitchhead bird That was a bum moving off the fucking Ralphie man and shit like that josh wolf So there is do you have the same type of me like you said you just do the

The two hours before you go to the company store like right now I'm naked, you know saying I shot the special in december I got to get Another 45 minutes at least to start feeling comfortable again like a hot 45 minutes, you know what I mean because you know people like Come see you like I thought they said he was funny. They don't understand You're rebuilding how crazy you know what I mean? I hate that period That's the word and when you got road dates

Yeah, and you can't keep doing those jokes in the special. Yeah, and you're like what the fuck That's why after you shoot a special just take it off. Right. Just stay at the company. So, you know, uh Jeslyn McHadson pretty interesting shit. He says that he he works out the material for a year Then he does clubs for a year. They takes that same material into three theaters. That's cool. So it takes them three years To put out a fucking special which is a new hour. Right and that's that's respectable, but I've seen people like Be selling out but they they skip the Comedy store part and go straight to selling out weekends at major comedy clubs

And I'm like, how the fuck are you doing that? How is this these audience receiving? These jokes like it's just crazy to me the old jokes or the new jokes the new jokes like they shoot the special And then you're here. All right. They're doing a weekend in ontario Or just wherever the improv is to support the special Now I have to write with new shit. Well, here's the d r. So The whole process changed Because again of greed, right? Yes. It all changed because of greed, right? You had two options just like a band

You either release the album And tour it and not do the same material. Maybe keep the closer You know, maybe you had a really good closure on that special And you want to keep that closer because getting the closer is the hardest fucking thing, you know, I see that But so let's say you shoot the special in december, right in today's world. They're so greedy. They get that motherfucker out in eight weeks Like that investment has to fucking flourish for them immediately. Right. So they get you out right away. That's what I didn't like Now you're stuck Three months first off after you shoot a special if you work hard or you have a heart you want to break a week off

You got to take a week off. You have an idea Of what you're going to say next And then it's like anything else for three weeks. You struggle You eat bag of dicks that those new jokes nothing's working And then boom, you got five minutes. Right. Oh shit. Right. I got five motherfucking minutes There's three more weeks and you're popping seven And then that joke you wrote two years ago that you had no way to put and you find it you find it Boom. Now you got 18 because I got a I got a joke like that. There you go in my new 25 right now

There you go that you wrote four years ago. I forgot about it. I was looking through the old part There you go. Oh court the bible. All right, boom. There you go It's so weird how a bit that you wrote six years ago might not work. That's where you gotta look through your notebooks I once a great comedy writer joke comedian told me that He if you look through your material before you go on stage all these things Increased the percentages of you not bombing. Yeah, they increase the percentages, you know Looking through your material going scoping through it. You know, I know for you know Dice came in here and they goes look at these guys that they actually think about what they're gonna say

You know for a young comic. I didn't want them to hear that Right I know what dice means by it. Mm-hmm, you know, and it's not to get caught up in your material Right to go up there and do your thing If the material you got plan B don't get caught up in your material It's just you have some structure, but if some shit happens there you go You ready, but that's a part of you ready to to to call an audible Immediately if they got three defenders on you on the right and if they like they charge in linebackers at you

You got to be ready for the audible. You know what I'm saying? You got to be ready Friday like a motherfucker And then you know, so you know what you're gonna say, but if you don't get to say it, it's no big deal It's no big deal You just have to be That's comedy You know, you have to know that going in but you have to prepare I feel like to have The set and but if some better shit jumps off from the audience or

If somebody was a crazy laugh that night or you're saying earlier if the drink falls You know, you have to react to those things You can't just be You know, and I and I listen to my I used to record sets and never listen to them But since I feel naked now like I just been listening to everything Like especially if I don't get to do the hour before the set, you know writing before the set At least the drive from my spot To the club. I'm listening and then I'll think of a line

That I could add to the thing and then I've written that day because All right, and really is is if you add a line a day And it's 365 days in a year You got 365 new things and that's more than an hour. You know what I'm saying? So it's like just just stay involved with your shit And even when you're watching your car, you're just doing something in the shower Shit will come to you because you're just in tune with it. You're living it You write it right down and you write it right down because you get you get free shit. You try to write

Sometimes something might come on sometimes not but because you're involved with it Like you you fuck around and you just write anything that has nothing to do with stand up But when you're on stage shit comes out because you you stretched You know what I'm saying? You stretch you're ready to to fucking run the race So then you're up to speed and you're you're automatic shit kicks in you know what I'm saying? How much time difference was it from when you did the cd for coda into this special? Say like three years. Oh, so you were way beyond ready. Yeah, I was ready. I was the material was getting stale Yeah, I was ready material was getting stale like that's why I was like I was gonna pay my own money to shoot it in december

Because I couldn't hold on to that material anymore. I couldn't say it anymore I had to at least shoot it and put it in can and if I didn't sell it at least it was in the can At some point I could release it and then I could just move on And go to the other shit and start writing new shit. When did you shoot it? Shot it in december Yeah, it's been

Seven months six months six months seven months. Yeah, and then by the bobo or theta Yeah, well now. Where is that the uh, san diego? I remember reading. No, I shot that was uh, you know what that was uh You mentioned him earlier. That was brennan sharp. He did the bow both in san diego. I did Long beach. What's the fuck? His name is a place now. I forgot That's how great my memory. That's right. You do long beach. Yeah, like december something. Yeah, it's friday night Comedy central. Yep eight o'clock. You ready to read midnight midnight. Yeah, you ready to rock you're gonna have a viewing party or anything I didn't put one together. That takes work That takes work. Yeah, you got any dates coming up that these fucking marvelous people could go support you and see it

Yeah, I'll be at the funny bone in ohio the week after that. What's that? Columbus, ohio Okay, it was just that great room great room and then comics in connecticut the week after that this is all in july And then in august I got a date What the fuck is that date? It doesn't go wait A few out this is coming out wednesday. Yeah, all right

Go to my website. Ian ever's comedian calm It'll be updated by then and the dates will be on the calendar Ian like I told you a couple minutes ago. I think you're one of the best comics work. Thank you brother I think you're a monologist and a half. You always make me laugh. Thanks, man The most important you're a fucking gentleman And you came in here and you brought some flavor into this motherfucker. I've got a lot of white people in here I gotta gotta fucking settle the spirits. You know what I'm saying? I want to thank you guys for listening. Do not forget this weekend. I'll be at the charlotte

comedy zone Wednesday, I mean thursday friday and saturday and august night at the motherfucking lincoln Theater just one more word from my sponsors and I'll get out of your head Let me explain something to you filthy fucking animals. All right When it comes to cbd, you're lost everybody's lost Nobody knows what to do with a cbd anymore. You drive around cbd this cbd that they got you all confused And after shit you're buying this fucking who gots anyway. Listen

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Dot com slash joey. I want to thank cbd lion I want to thank quip, but most importantly. I want to thank you motherfuckers for listening and supporting the podcast I also want to thank Ian Edwards for coming out my pleasure homie for being a beautiful guest tonight I'll see you motherfuckers next monday Tip top magoo. If not, I'll see you thursday night at the fucking comedy zone and bring reef and bring everything Edibles vikings Gorilla biscuits boogaloo pills. I don't give a fuck league kick this goddamn meal

Hey Let's get it on like we said before To condition your condition we're gonna do a song What you've never heard before make an all-time alone through the education Brother's gonna work it out and stop chasing All the brothers in the street are willing to work it out So many of us and limbo how to get it on It's quite simple three stones from the sun. We need a piece of this

Indestructible so answers to this wizard to the brothers in the street And the prisons history shouldn't be a mystery our story is real history not history We're gonna work it out one day two way off The right way in full no fool talking no walking driving arriving in styling Tell them soon you'll see what i'm talking about one day the brothers gonna work it out Let's go Oh Let's get it on

Oh In 1995 you'll trust that inside you raise your fist through the music Even at it we stand here divided we fall together we can't stand tall brothers that try to work it out They get mad before we find realize they're super bad small kids and smart brothers gonna be a victim of his own circumstances Samaritans show shock rock Day in the life of a fool like i said before to live it low life take your time Look ahead another thing too fair brother the brother now another essence Teach a man how to be a father to never tell a woman he can't bother

You can't say you don't know what i'm talking about but one day Oh Let's get it on Oh You