Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #702 - Rachel Wolfson

Episode Date: July 18, 2019

Rachel Wolfson, a stand up comedian, writer who has written for Vice and High Times, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Express VPN - Get 3 months free when you buy a one year package. Go to www.expressvpn.com/church to learn more and protect your privacy.  CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies go to CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.   

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expre SS vpm.com Slash church for three months free when you buy a one-year package. All right visit express vpm.com Slash church to learn more and to take back your privacy. You hear me Stay black. Take this motherfucker mule Thursday The motherfucking 18th of July like your fucking ball sack on fire. We're going We got Rachel Wilson

Wasted what are you fucking nuts? Grab that bong head and set the urban free Rachel Wilson, what's happened beautiful? Thanks for having me great to have you man. How are you guys? How are you? I'm high. I know you're making strides You're making little moves here and there. I've been watching you. Thank you on the last 18 months And you're open up on a roll for Felipe. You're always hustling. I don't see no fucking bikini shots You know, there's a few you know out there selling your ass Working on your merit and I really dig the hell out of you. So thank you for coming on the show highest of compliments

Thank you. It's an honor to be here. You know dog. I watch everything like people like why? When can I come on the podcast? There's always a time and a place. Yeah, let me watch for a little while Let me see what the fuck you're doing and I you know, yeah, I follow you on Twitter. I see your tweets I see you a little morning thing. You're popping up. I read about your family and that really interested Me and talking to you about your family because I would die for them to adopt me They would love to have you I would die to live with a judge a Da and then your sister's like a top-notch attorney. She's a prosecutor. She's a fucking prosecutor Yeah, so breakfast at that motherfucking house. Yes must be like laws and no their interrogation

It's not a breakfast to beat the mill the fucking the backhand slap motion from 1988 listen that shit makes my dick up There's evidence. There's objections. There's literally, you know My mom was just a like a real estate attorney, but even just have her being a kid of an attorney Can be rough like they look like they're uh, and I can't imagine having it from two sides No one being a judge. Yeah, my mom definitely has like she's the cock and balls like for sure There's a lot of like, you know intensity and You know strong people in my family. So where'd she go to law school? She went to law school In san diego and your dad

He went to law school here in los angeles. No, yeah, and they met here They met in the courthouse in los vegas Holy shit. Yeah, my mom was a tv news reporter and my dad was a prosecutor and he would Pass her in the hallway and he always tells us that he would see her on tv And say that he's gonna marry that woman someday Wow And then she went off to law school and I think they kind of like were dating other people And then when she came back, I guess they met at a bar or something and like he couldn't keep his hands off her that dog

Well, like cordon vegas must be completely different than Anywhere like vegas is like a completely different place. Vegas is an insane like asylum I mean, I don't even know how I Grew up there like I went back last weekend and as you get older You know, your hometown means different things to you and you can kind of put into perspective your childhood And it's such a crazy place to grow up if you think about it Now as you were growing up, were your parents pushing you for you to go into the law field? um, I think that was kind of something that was maybe like an

underlying expectation people would always uh, whenever I would see them out or their Co-work they would be like, oh, are you gonna go to law school? You know, do you want to be a lawyer when you grow up? And I was like, absolutely not never So you knew it already. I just knew I wasn't that wasn't for me at all You got accepted into american university. I I went to college. Um, I went to three colleges What was the first one? It was a small school in vermont called landmark college and it's uh for people who have learning

disorders Yeah, and then I have ADHD. So I learned differently, which is the nice way of saying retarded, but I can say that I have documentation. So um, but yeah I uh, I went to a school that like taught me how to learn because I just learned differently I was always a creative person visual um And I just never I I went to a bunch of different middle schools and high schools I went to a lockdown when I was 17 where I graduated from in utah. So I I my schooling was never

Um, it was it was all over the place, but you're very book smart I am emotionally smart. I definitely have a books if I like if I'm interested in something I will become obsessed with it But there's you couldn't pay me enough money to ever study math ever again ever I could give a fuck. Yeah, you did but you did and then you moved the fuck on Yeah, like we'd taught me math like the math that I needed to know, you know And how was american university? It was cool for like You know, it was cool to be in our nation's capital. I got to see obama get inaugurated like I was

a part of you know, a huge historical moment in time But um, I was I just felt like the dumbest person in all of my classes. I could care less about politics Um, I wasn't inspired by it. I thought it was kind of like hollywood for ugly people But I mean, no, there's whatever but I just I it wasn't the right place for me And I even had the opportunity to intern for congress congress. I could have you know, um Gone off and done something big with that, but I just was never It wasn't meant for me. So you ended up in lynn college. I'm a part of florida bokeh root town All the juice and all of them and that's where you got your degree. I got my master's degree from lynn

Um, and uh, yeah, I stayed down there and I worked Uh in the Hospitality industry. I always worked since I was 15 in hospitality Um, and I worked in marketing out of college and you got a degree in marketing. Yeah a master's a master's. Yeah marketing. No shit Yeah And then when did you start smoking reef? As soon as I pretty much left my parents house when I went to college 19 When I went to vermont. Yeah, that's where it's I mean you have to smoke. Yeah

That's the place like everyone is on something there And then when did you first decide to get on stage? Um, Almost three years ago Yeah, um when I was 29 Yeah, what made you want to go because you said you I had tried to get on stage many years before that I I did improv as a kid. So performing was never um, I was never shy I was always the first one in college who wanted to like get up and do my presentations And I just liked being in front of people but

When I was living in florida, I started going to improv shows. My first stand-up show was seeing mike epps at the palm beach improv and Um, I would see I saw john love. It's bob saggett. Like I had just fell in love with stand-up Years ago and then it wasn't until I was just in these like horrible relationships I was working these corporate jobs out here that I just was terrible at and I just knew that I really One felt purposeless. I felt like I was just kind of aimlessly roaming through life. I I like you know, I really Spoke to my depression and just I think I just

I was searching for that something and it wasn't until I was getting out of a relationship. I was 29 I was living with this guy that was so toxic and my life just wasn't what I wanted it to look like And for something for some reason just like stand-up was like it was screaming inside me It was like do stand-up and I had seen a friend Um, my friend sam grody. She was a sorority sister with me in dc She does stand up and I went to see her at the john love its club That one that got shut down At universe. Yeah at universal

And I saw her perform and I was like I could definitely do that. Um, and so yeah, I ended up um Finally after a breakup. I just started writing I went to um mikes I uh, yeah, I started getting on stage Are you uh I don't know how to ask you this

Are you lucky at love? Am I lucky in love like at love lucky at love do you? Um, I have always you attract fucking knuckleheads I've attracted a variety of Men in my life. Some of them were men. Some of them questionable. Um, I've always been in relationships since I was 15 years old I've always like loved having boyfriends. I've dated People since I was 15. So I've had a bunch of boyfriends. I guess I've had experience in dating guys

um, who were all different kinds of Uh, healthy and unhealthy for me now when you Broke up with that one dude. We got into stand-up Like I did the same thing like it was All part of a metamorphosis process. It was all part of uh I'm gonna stop doing what the fuck i'm doing and get into this like right I got on stage and like June and in october she told me she wanted to get separated. Oh, wow So I walked like for four months

I walked around like I don't want to be with this person no more And everything sucked. Yeah, like everything just sucked once I got on stage And here I am 28. I'm out of prison And I'm with this woman and god bless her She drove me to my first open wide. She forced me like she forced the hand, you know But it's really tough to explain to people Sometimes at your like I got into stand-up at the lowest point in my life

And then I got into it at a lower point And then I got all in at the lowest point in my life The lower I got the more I got into it. Yeah, is that how you felt sometime? I my first year stand-up I suffered like suicidal depression like I wasn't like I didn't have um a plan. I wouldn't actually do it, but it it was in and out of my life my first year stand-up. I Got out of that relationship that I was in at 29 Started stand-up. It was I was working for levity at the time And my uh, I was doing social media marketing for them. That's really like my my path into comedy was like I used to work at corporate

and um I I ended up leaving that job because they wanted to bring someone in house. They got rita from the improv Let me be a bartender in the lab and they don't give those jobs to like Just anyone let alone women and like I'm not a career bartender Like I'm in the back looking up, you know basic recipes for a Manhattan. You know what I mean? Like she really believed in me and so I was going through this breakup She gave me an opportunity at the improv

And I was also starting my open mics and writing and getting into stand-up And it just became Like my I was like, this is what I'm in love with. This is this is what I've been missing my whole life This is what this is my purpose. It gave me meaning to my life in a whole new way Oddly enough, I ended up getting into another relationship this past year. I just got out of a relationship. Um but He works in comedy and I just like

I just fell in love with comedy like that was like my That was my main love and then everything else was secondary and like he kind of saw that process Of like my first year is was rough for me because I was going through Kind of just like everything in my life like okay now I'm in a place where I can put meaning And like finding the funny and my pain and my trauma and also just like You know, I think It's a crutch for me is some of these relationships

Like I've always just maybe been afraid to be fully independent like Which I know I can be but like who wants to be alone at night, you know what I mean? Like and I don't I'm not a random Uh casual sex person. It just doesn't fulfill me. So I think that The more that I fell in love with stand-up the Like less like my relationship became began to deteriorate Like it was so weird to me how You think about

The first five or six years of a stand-up. You know, you're in love with something when you give up your apartment Yeah, like you know, you're in love with something like you have to force your You have to force yourself to Not be home. Yeah Like I can't be home and I like I don't even know what that is No, like if there were nights that I would choose to like spend in my first years I I I would have this guilty feeling like I'm cheating on my like My love, you know what I mean? And I and like that's when I was like, okay, this is

This is something that means so much to me and it just like I knew that I needed to like focus on that and like after being in all of these relationships that just didn't Work out like thank god. None of them wanted to marry me You know, and they they took it that far like thank god. It didn't work out because It was a point it was I'm at a point where I was like, okay This is this is what I've been missing in my life and this is what I need to feed You know what I mean kids kids. Do I like kids? Yeah, do you like kids? Do you ever see yourself having children?

Um, maybe one day like when I'm older in my 40s women are having kids in their 40s. So yeah, my wife had the 44s I'd I'd be a great pregnant 40 year old But right now comedy is comedy. I'm this is what this is what I'm gonna do. No matter what Like it's just amazing You know, when you look up in sadly and like a dictionary is doing something Over and over again with the same results, you know, and I always think about that. Yeah that with comedy all those years that people would look at you like You're fucking insane. You're living in your car. You're delivering pizza. Yeah, but

I was getting on stage three nights a week and then Afterward, I would talk comedy till three in the morning at a denny's on we would go to a supermarket and buy Co-cuts and just sit outside and talk comedy and questions and bookers and You know, it was just endless with me. Yeah, like by 94 I went home at night to read comedy biographies. Wow Like that type of shit somebody sent me a picture today that blew my fucking mind One of the guys that helped me out in the beginning. His name was uh

George George McKelvey George McKelvey had been on it's a night show like 13 times. Oh, he started with You know, Johnny Carson like the 60s and shit And George McKelvey like when everybody hated me George McKelvey dug the fuck out Like no, oh, he's too dirty You know, we don't know. He's just starting out Uh It was just really weird that George McKelvey would call me and go what are you doing this weekend and come open for me That's so cool. I could only get you 50 bucks or 25 bucks

And uh, he was just really good to me and then there was a there's a big time manager now in town And I know her and she knows, you know, finally, you know each other But I know her from way back in the day When she was robbing people. Oh, wow, like when she would tell people you can't do the open mic at this club Until you take my stand, of course. Oh, wow. So you would have to pay like, you know, yeah three bills for eight weeks Of her course before you got to be picked. They only picked four people A weekend for the open mic for an open mic

How long are they doing 15 minutes? Okay, so this is how retarded it was like, yeah If you did a class for eight weeks and you could do 15 minutes So they're doing a documentary on the Denver comedy scene And they want me to do it and then when they contacted me the first time I spoke holly about george mckelvey until they sent me this picture. Oh, wow Who's george mckelvey standing with in his book? He credited george mckelvey That's fucking steve martin Oh, wow in 1969. He's so young. He's a baby

Look at him. So george. No gray hair. No white hair. No, nothing To be 80 looks the same that's pretty fucking crazy. Which one's mckelvey's the one on the right? Wow young steve can get it So I never forget george mckelvey called me one sunday night. Like I was probably feeling sorry about myself About to do a pound of blow And he called me like at six and he goes where are you and I go i'm home Because I had a page in those days. Yeah, I would have to run to the gas station to call people back. This is a fucking nightmare Oh my god, I can only imagine trying to get booked back then with beepers and pagers and beepers

You actually have to keep a calendar like who walks around. How do you remember your dates? I'll never forget a book you're telling me. Don't leave me a message anymore You have to send me an email. Wow on monday. I told you go fuck this thing Like i'm not emailing you. I'll call you Then there was another comedy scene where they would put Gigs up there was a Like a guy who booked rooms. Oh, wow

And he had like eight rooms in Nebraska and on monday he would put His availability what clubs were open that week. Okay, and you had like 10 seconds to oh, it was like that back. Yeah, he would yeah You're like, you know how many fucking comics in the area? You had 10 seconds. It's like it's like when you have a southwest plane ticket. Yeah, and you're trying to check in Because you want to get a one a one. Yeah, but you you wait 10 seconds. You're like eight 60 and you're like, what the fuck What the fuck how? Who is the who who's wife whose wives are everybody's at home like this?

refresh refresh I am that girl. I am that girl So it's shit like that. You know, I mean it's just so many different What about fax machines? Do you ever have to fax things you had to fax in your availability? Jesus I remember when I was first here And I was trying to make the transition from okay, so I got into the comedy store I'm working the improv

Jamie doesn't let me work the club but Uh, I do latino night, which is just as good. It was 300 people. Yeah, and I fucking Just was stuck. I didn't know what to do. I had I had like maybe three clubs that hired me that El Paso Hired me as a feature act triple And I think there was somebody else that hired me So I went I got a bunch of numbers from people

Like at the comedy store, I would ask people where you're from and they would go dc and I go Who do I call them dc? Yeah, and they gave me the number dc was john x Boston was this other guy that booked a club 56 And every monday Fucking 9 a.m. Even if I snorted coke till 7 45 You were out here at 6 a.m. I would start so they would have the fax at 9 a.m. And I would fax what you would do is put like, you know Fucking wolfie

And then put the whole month of january And then, you know You would put a calendar and then give them your dates and what was open But for you to fucking Get booked You had a lie about a date on that. Oh, yeah to make sure I can't do it this week You're exactly you don't want to see you have to see that you're working on the club, right? If you send them an empty calendar you get who gots So you had to make sure he didn't know who that club was or call and say

on Wolveson's working that week In june What do you think of her and repeat you know i'm saying it's like get your mom catching you at not at your Girlfriend's house. You were out. Yeah, so you had to fall and make up So I took a job selling nuts and screws. Oh, wow on ivar Between hollywood boulevard. I live right down there and uh, what's the one on top of hollywood? Franklin Franklin. Yeah, so what the pizza places franklin and ivar. Yeah, franklin and ivar right across the street

There's a pizza place. Okay Well-known pizza place joe's pizza. I don't know how it does now it used to be good when the guy not joe's pizza, right? No, it's but i'm yeah joe's pizza is Maybe a block away right two blocks away if i'm at it west, okay So there was a place in there that you I had to be there at four in the morning Oh Because you have to sell contractors. Okay on the east coast nuts and screws nuts and screws when they get to fucking work

So I would just snort coke till three hells. Yeah, the store would close at two I would Keep my car in the back of the store and just pop the seat back And lay back. I would do a couple lines of coke bang one out And then you fucking head over to ivar and sell screws catch the seven o'clock thing, but at about six I'd start fucking Facts and motherfuckers. I didn't ever Where are you? Where are you out fat finding facts? I was a homeless fucking guy. He's doing it from work. He's saying

I got a job. Oh So I would make money from seventh from four a.m. To six you guys think i'm here. I'm just here to use your fax machine That was basically I went to the big month. I was making like eight bills a week selling nuts and screws Yeah, that's smart though It was and I would leave a fucking like they would say after you make a hundred aluminum you'd go home Yeah, I would make fucking 200 by six And start faxing at six a.m. I would fax every club owner. I'd have a notebook With fucking dates written across it

For checks And what the result was you have to you're a businessman. You're a ceo So, you know, you don't want to call the guy you're gonna go. Hey Rachel hi joe dears. I want to know if I could work your club and she's like you just called me Last monday. What did I tell you? So you have to keep records, right? So I had a notebook just even then just for who I contacted what bullshit story I told them In those days, they would say send the tape. No tape. Wow No tape. You're not getting shit. It's a different. It's just different completely different now

Most people wouldn't even because the I bet you Half of us wouldn't even be around if it was like that No, no one would even that was it can't even tie their shoes. Some of these people No, it was a different they don't even shower before they hit the mic. You know what I mean? It was a different game. You had a it was a day job You think some of these people are gonna keep an organizational notebook You had a real four hour day job every day on top of your writing You had to stay on time and then you had a and then you sent those

And don't think you got work Like I didn't say nothing about getting work. Did I know that was endless That was endless that was endless and then once in a while a number will come up on your page And he would be like Yoder's Booker mark Connell was his name and he would go Hey mark, whatever. Chaudia is here. So You're in michigan You know like he I would put like joe's comedy club and he would go you're gonna be in michigan that week. Yeah All right, give me the name of three headliners that you've worked with

And let me call around and I'll see if I could put you in this and then you wouldn't get it Damn, and then you wouldn't get it because that's what they wouldn't vouch for you Like no, you know now he has to get a hold of him, right? You know i'm saying and all that she's and he forgot So now you'd have to call him and say hey, what about that week in detroit? And he'd go okay, you know, I need you at thursday friday It's one night and he would put you on the string of one nighters. I still remember going from like Fucking niles

Like ishpameen like the bottom of michigan all the way to the fucking top like No niles is on the bottom and ishpameen is on top Traverse city like you would stop it would be like five hours a day of driving You know like five hours here then five hours there then you went here So it was like a fucking adventure But that's how it was like it took and then I would bother rachel for a year

rachel jodias Nothing, I'll call you when I have something. Yeah, send me a tape. Who do you work with? Give me the name of three references and write about when you're about to give up The leap it walks up to you and goes hey fool What are you doing next week? Do you want to go to the jacksonville improv and you're like I've been bugging them for a fucking year Like I've been bugging them for a year

They keep telling me no And now you make one phone call and i'm featuring. I got my own hotel room. I don't have to sleep on the floor No, you don't have to sleep. I don't have to sleep on the couch. No, you don't have to sleep Wow, you're like blown the fuck away. That's that's the angle like there used to be a catcher rising star in vegas You're too young for that one. What is that one? That was in the Excalibur. You're too young for that way But I was I was you were a young girl. Yeah, I was alive No, you were alive. Oh, yeah, that's a club It was the hotel the hotel was the Excalibur. Yeah, and they had like a sword theme. Yeah, it's still alive

I mean, it's still there. It's still there. What is it caliber is still there? It's still there the Excalibur Upstairs was catcher rising star. Okay for a fucking year and a half. It's a club A comedy club. It used to be a chain. They should still have it. It used to be a chain Okay, it was in this see if the one in jersey still open. Wow. It was jersey like in fucking Of course, it was new jersey in vegas princeton. No princeton vegas And reno what the last factory reno. Yeah was catcher rising star. That's why I was like I've heard of this brand before catcher rising star was reno and that was uh

That was wow. It was a fuck that was a great. How was that room at the Excalibur? The catcher rising star room. It was one before you were saying that you worked. Yeah a week with dama, right? And I was in love with comedy at this point. I had been doing comedy I say roughly 10 years I had opened up for rogan Mencia I'd opened up for paul redriguez. I'd opened up for people And I got a week Or would all the bullshit I tortured catcher rising star

For a fucking year and a half and I called that motherfucker every monday in 901, you know my shit Oh, yeah, my shit is the real deal on sunday nights. I would get home and send Headshots of casting people Every monday was my headshot day. So they would get them on wednesday and I would send tickets to the comedy store Free passes to the comedy store and the improv. That's cool This is what I remember going in for an audition for sheela jaffy one time And I ate a bag of dicks like I ate a bag of dicks like I went in there all gung-ho

Like a robot. It was like a boxing coach and shit And I just ate a bag of dicks and she goes. Thank you for coming in and the assistant goes And she was jaffy listening. She goes. Oh, yeah, hold on. I have something for you She gave me back a stack Of headshots. Oh, I mean 30 headshots with resumes Tons of free passes from the comedy store. She gave it to you back. Yeah, she's like, I don't need this What a bitch. No, no, she ended up booking me. Okay, perfectly. Love her great years later. I was like, no It's just that was the job. Yeah, that's how much

The job entailed. Yeah. Now. No, she's not a bitch. Now. All you got to do is Yeah, now all you have to do is click a button on your computer. Oh, wow, but every monday Yeah, it's so different. I would wake up and mail shit. Tuesday was drop off shit So every day I had a different job, right? So now it's just you can just email 50 people and one before 9 11 You go walk into the studio. Oh It was like that I could walk into before 9 11. They took they took studio access to before 9 11 I go to fox to the gate

And go I want to drop off a package of rachel wolff's. Wow, and they go just park over there make it quick He would do they make you take off your shoes. No, no, this is this is this was like it was Very open fox or I could go to fox when I want to drop off a package for christian capplin They would go park there run upstairs. Don't take more than three minutes. Oh, wow You could run up drop the package off see the assistant The assistant would look at you Because they're looking for a person like you right you just don't have an agent or your agent's a schmuck I would drop off my own shit on tuesday. So tuesday was drop off day that agent you want to sign with

They won't sign you Every tuesday he got a new package at his door It was it was they couldn't get rid of you. No, it was 29 dollars for 100 headshots. I'm coming all day I'm coming all day long. I would buy 300 at one shot Every 10 days, you know, that's amazing. And then when I got the agent I'd show up every other week with 20 more headshots and resume. Hey, don't forget me Hey, don't forget me. I love that relentlessness. It's that's that's this what this all is about. Yeah This is that love that you have. Yeah, that's what

You're not going anywhere. You don't read this in a book. No, you don't read this in a book No, book's gonna teach you this. This is you know what I there was a kid here, Cory Miller Got two half million dollar deals real good-looking black dude. Very funny He went back to Atlanta to raise his kids because the show didn't get picked up But he had this thing monday's he would write poetry. It wasn't a poet It was no poet, but that was part of his exercise Tuesday, he would write comedy Wednesday, he would write a script about underwater fishing

Thursday, he would write fucking Comedy and friday. He would write music wasn't a musician But he said he wanted to explore all the different things and make his mind go to all these different places That's the level. I love that shit that you know when I hooked up with your boy Felipe You know, I would meet we have our own acting class. Yeah Me Felipe silent Bob Sebastian satina We would give ourselves our own homework assignments. Yeah, we said fuck paying $300 and we critique each other

Ask them that's smart. I will ask them. Yeah, and then we go from there and go to a weed store And fucking stock up on edibles the guy was a baker At a Beverly Hills place and he quit his job baking to open up a weed store And he would bake edibles. So not like regular like edibles Edibles that you would get a hundred pounds, right? Like, you know victory fudge with three-layer almonds And you need pop pop one of them, but next time when are you gonna see them again? When are you opening for him? uh

august in Rodrigo, you ever see a person get knocked out and have to get carried to a car That's what happened and his legs got a drag on the floor. No way, bro. They had Rodrigo one guy at the time And they were walking them into a car one that one morning like in class We started popping edibles and shit. Oh my god. That's when they were rice crispy treats. Oh, man Coconut chiffon cake This guy would make a coconut three fucking layer cake With coconut in the middle with t8c and that shit and he didn't know you go to his house

They'd just be squeezing like this green shit Or the coconut cake was green for starters. You thought it was st. Patty's day Oh, my god. It was always same. His chocolate was green. You know what I'm saying? Everything he had was fucking green That is amazing And he can and Rodrigo smokes heavy weed. So I can only imagine We're going we're talking 2000 This is back in the day. We were on guinea pigs with the with the edibles 2004. This is when Felipe had

Wednesday night at El Coyotes. Oh, wow. I love that place. Have you been there? Of course They still do comedy there. Uh-uh I've been eat there. Are you been there to eat? Yeah, no, not El Coyote. Oh, you're thinking I'm talking about fucking in the hood. Oh, no, I'm not. I'm talking about a different place I'm like El Coyote on Sunday. I'm talking about a place where they changed the name four times in one year Oh my god, because it was a drug bar. Really? Wait, was it a it was just a bar and Felipe dated the twins fool. Oh I want to fuck the sister and tell her I don't know which one it was

Stop, that's amazing. Oh my god. Yeah, they had so they give you wait They changed the name four times a year every four times a year A new paint job the twins ever find out about each other the twins worked there together hot both of them were 12s Wow Every mexican chick that worked in there had to be a fucking 12 You're not gonna find any of those bitches in the detention center That's where they would pull them out of right through the tension so they would go down and go you get those four barefoot ones They're on fire and they'd take them at the El Coyote

And Wednesday nights was comedy night. That's amazing. You got 40 bucks in a burrito. Oh, that's or a smothered Yeah, oh my god, you wouldn't eat all day like you were that broke that you were sweating that burrito If this place is open, I'm trying to go it's it's open. It's under a different name now Of course, it's under a different name. I mean 40th name, you know, I could tell you If I if I tell you the names today that has been there as open micers like Just like feature acts you would fucking die. That's so funny Well, what about that thing you posted? I think it was a day or two ago On twitter that scheduled the laugh stop. That was pretty crazy. Oh my god

Just like it was you tom rhodes rogan fit Simmons And a couple it was like big names gotta be 2001 2002 That's pretty crazy Damn It's such a fucking journey guys that it's must be pretty like I can't whenever I see stuff like that. I'm like What if I see rachel in 20 years and and we were on the fourth wall list together and like yeah, like that's it's pretty cool

That's what i'm saying It's like I see pictures of people of you guys from the past and it's like wow This is a moment in time in like history. We'll posted one a year ago. Yeah of a open micless me him darin card Oh, I think I remember that. Yeah, that's like, you know, like, you know, this is Dave Chappelle before Yeah, Dave Chappelle, you know, I'm not good. I'm not good at saving stuff like that. I don't You got to I never I don't save set list. No, I don't really say I I take pictures occasionally But very right. That was never something that I I just don't even think about it I got a folder of my comedy still set list

Yeah, a folder at the bottom of my drawer on one side it's set list and the other side is call sheets Wow All the big call sheets and the little miniature ones they put in your fucking green room. Wow. Yeah, you gotta save those I mean, you don't have to know it It would be cool. It's like it's your own little museum I like I have my like comedy notebooks like that. I've that I've already like i'm saving them Like I it's an honor to like fill another another. You know what I mean? Wait. Do you look at them? Yeah, I can be like what an insane person

You look at them 10 years from now and you go the thought That I did this material for y'all for showcase In front of all the biggest agents. Yeah, like this is the material I chose to do how embarrassing the biggest of my life because you'll still have that set the set list like you'll have your Your diary for the day and then that night before you go out

You'll have like the set list before, you know, apa. I'm apa was huge when I got They gave me a showcase one night. I found it set list About four years ago. Oh, wow, and I wanted to run into a warhead first. No I swear to god. I wanted to run into a warhead first Like the topics were just horrendous like I remember like a topic and a joke Just horrendous like you look at that shit and go I'm gonna be regretting I'm gonna there's gonna come a day where I'm gonna regret all the eating ass material I've done Yeah home when you have a little not the eating ass the material right

Listen man, you No, it's a part of my life. You say it, you know, you say it on stage You know, that's why comedy makes you so vulnerable. Yeah, you say this shit And you don't look back and guess what? When I wasn't saying this shit I didn't have a career. Yeah So when I was talking about all that goofy shit the first 10 years of comedy And I thought I was making strides, but I was a regular at the slaughter

I was a regular at the improv. You were just a guy cracking joke Okay, you were just a moron that got good at cracking rarest jokes, right? It's not till you go into that second layer of the epidermal And start saying let me tell you what I did and then bring it to life with a joke and Make them screech a little first, right and then go. Oh, we didn't know you were going that. Yeah You know, this is the first 10 years. You're just doing knock knock jokes. Yeah, you're just a fucking wedding photographer You know what I'm saying? You're a bar mitzvah dj. Yeah, you're a bar mitzvah dj, you know it's pretty cool

I did a show with hazers trejo last night and I like even if I like last night wasn't my best set but Even seeing people do well, but then seeing someone like him There's just a different level of laughter and the laughter is more consistent and it's just it's like It's like seeing like a superhero. It's it's pretty crazy to see someone Who's doing what you want to do and doing it like such a higher level. It's so inspiring You never want to be the best like for me. I don't ever want to be the best comic in the in the room You know what I mean? Like I want you do but you don't Yeah, but like I I always hope that there's someone around that I can learn something from you know, not even if it's not

The you know, whatever like we said on one day's podcast A few years ago watching rogan at the union At the union. It was a bar next to Across the street from Miyagi, which nobody knows. I'm talking about right now. It's across. It changed the name three times Yeah Okay, pink. Yeah Across the street if you go 30 yards, I forget what it is now It was the union and I had been working with joe for about

Three years at the time and I saw him go have great sets at the store But that night he was on pin point and every young comic in the room from I mean, I can't even nick the parlor was there that night like everybody looked at him And except for maybe nick the pile on a couple other guys that were in the room higher level guys all that whole core I was with like

I wasn't jealous of joe, but I knew that if I did the work That was going to be me in 10 years. Yeah Like that's all that's all like there was no Like it was like wow and then boom Sometimes you catch performances That'll doubt you right that you go home and go It's time to get on zip recruiter I'll never get that good

The first time I saw stan open 96 like I had I knew dug But I worked with dug in 92 and 91 and 96 He was a complete different animal That I went like I had a gig that sat there. So I'm on a friday and that sat there like cancel. Wow Like that's how shocking And how good precise timing

Free was the word right I didn't understand that you had to be free He was free. He was out of the cage. There was no holds barred It was staying home fucking coming at you people walking People grabbing their purses and paying their bills and he's yelling at them as they're walking out go fuck yourself Where you going? I got an abortion joke. You got to hear, you know, like just tormenting them as they walked out And you're sitting there going I just want people to sit and laugh. Yeah, what point are you happy that people walk out? He had flipped it around

There was another comic in seattle that that was his thing to go on stage and grow There was two of them a girl on the guy that We're gonna make them walk. Well You you won the war But you lost the battle, right? Stanhope was doing a little differently. Stanhope was one in the war And the battle because as he was throwing you out people were laughing that he was throwing you out Well, wait, you're not gonna hear my tit-fuck joke. Don't go nowhere yet and the woman would be I've never you know

Like it was fucking nuts Like what you know, and then I heard what he was doing down here That he would do sets at the improv and just disrupt the show Like the show would be fucking disrupted Like all these neat comics will go up with their notebooks and their fucking squarmy shit And they would get nothing because what they had just seen Was so surreal the first time I saw stanhope I cracked But then the second type of performance I saw I was rogue and at the union I go

Wait a second Two years ago. I wasn't even I was fucking yeah delivering pizza delivering chinese food Now I'm close with this guy and I'm able to see this So that means I'm making progress Exactly, you know, you're making progress. I know that that'll be me in eight years If I get on stage every fucking day Exactly and when you're at that point and you say I'm getting on stage every day You fucking mean it. Yeah, like I'm talking about

Hi, this is mom. I'm coming to visit you. You're like I hope not Because I got a weekend up in Fresno this week. I mean it gets to that point. Yeah when you're like Mom I had to leave my best friend's wedding. Yeah. No, I was in vegas. That's the discipline I went my best friend is the one wedding. I wanted to actually be at I got to be there for an hour That's the discipline. I saw them smooch I saw them. I ate some I ate a plate of food. I did I took the food

And I dipped I I wanted to be there more than anything But I was like I I want to be On stage more than anything else, you know, but this is what I really want and I get it first clicks The discipline becomes intense. Yeah, the discipline that you have to put on yourself Like the word vacation is disappears. Yeah, the word day off disappears the word wedding disappears Like there's so many things that just Disappeared. Mm-hmm relationships like relationships disappear if you really want to do what you want to do

That person will leave on their own. Yeah, because they know they can't compete. Mm-hmm. I can't compete. Yeah Guess what my friends and I are having this thing You're like Unless we do it 11. Yeah, exactly. What do you mean? And but you can't be doing comedy has to be that one night off When you do comedy stores open 365 days a week What does that tell you? But yesterday you did comics and you did the pizza place and you were so funny That was yesterday I gotta earn my stripes today. Yeah, and you get this weird discipline to you

And I mean I got to the point and you get josh wool next time you go up there You go josh all those years where you having parties in LA the jodias ever show Not once And he was pretty much my roommate. Yeah, I always had a spot to do. I don't know What you're talking about there was a girl broke up with me because She was into that shit You know, my brothers are coming out to visit me got nothing to do with me. No, that's god. No, that's your brothers I ain't got no brothers. My sister's in cuba and if that bitch comes over

She's gonna get the same treatment. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about That's why I love people who date comics and they're not in the business See as comedians, you can't be with another comic. Why because it's not gonna work. How do you know? I've been here for 22 years. But if there are people there are comics who do it does work out Why take the chance? Okay Why take the chance? Why take the chance? Because what happens? What happens if you start laying dating Lee today? Okay, you only fall in love. Okay moving together. Okay, and now

You start booking Okay, you gotta take this more to dealt with you No, so the first six months, it'll be fun. You take this more to dealt with you after that Obviously, you want to be on yourself on the weekends? You want to go do your own three things guess who's gonna get mad? Boom, what are you gonna get madly? What happens if you date this fucking? More to doubt Hey, we're both more and you both showcase for Montreal, right? But you get picked

How are you gonna tell her you got picked and that's fucking ass is gonna stay home. Oh, that's what she's gonna want to do Well, I'll just come with you I don't want you can't come with me. I you weren't invited. I don't even think that like for me I feel like it could work if no, it could it's not gonna work. Well, see like never gonna work I even noticed a little bit of what you're talking about. It was just friends. There's like comedy friends wanting to come to gigs and I don't know. I just stand up as you in a wall on the microphone. If you want to join the band join the beaters You know go do reunite with fucking SWV or something be the white chick

That's the bad mistake that you know, you don't know who do you date if you're a comic Non-comic you date down non-comic, but then you have to train them From what about Natasha and Moshe? There's a couple. That's one about Tom Segura and uh, like I said There's Christina. There's one in a million But the percentage what about rich boss and Bonnie McFarland the percentages are very low Yeah, but I I I get what you're saying. What about the agent from ICM and another the chick? Where's her career today? What about Ralphie and Lana? I got a thousand of them for you. I agree with you for the most part. First off number two

Both all three of those women you named. Yeah a very very very very Very comfortable in one their sexuality And two and in their skin Okay Those three women are not needy

Tom Segura will kick Tom Segura's wife will bit slap you quicker than I'll slap. Oh, yeah Bonnie McFarland will hit you in the fucking head with a shovel quicker than whatever And the other crazy bitch you talked about who else? Um, uh, Natasha. Natasha. Let's listen. I get it. I come from a strong ass woman myself Okay. Well, let me ask you this. How many comics did Natasha on the girl date? Before she settled down motion cash. Probably a lot. Okay. Yeah. So now you got 20 morons Every time you walk into a club Look at her release. I used to fuck her up the ass and put it up. Wow. Okay

You know I agree with you. I think for the most part. Oh my god. No, no, no, no I would never listen. I don't think people should shit where they eat. I'm very much against that However, I think in those case those are the cases where I'm like, I do like seeing those people together because they're perfect for each other Because they are comfortable with exactly who they both are and there's no competition But I don't think every comic should be out here dating and if you are dating a comic Like on the third date once you decide to move in with Lee You got to set your rules. Yeah boundaries. You got to set your rules. Yeah Same thing what happens when you date a civilian

Because let me tell you something sometimes they just don't get it. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. I want to marry you, right? So we get married What does joey do joey's a successful contract. They make seven figures a year six figures a year He's very comfortable on who he is We start humping fucking awesome. You spit out a little fucking woofie And You know what? I'm not the fucking nanny type. Yeah so

you're gonna go on the road with Dave chappelle and joe rogan and i'm gonna stay at home and watch the kid Mr. Nanny you got a better chance of fucking dying You know something's ain't it? Yeah Somewhere along the line. It's just I like women who meet. I love dumb bitches Who hook up with comics? Oh you like watching it? Oh, I love it. Yeah I've seen that one 300,000. Oh man, I feel like you don't watch reality tv. You just have people that watch reality tv. I watch life

Okay, I watch life and use people as guinea pigs in my own little private show I would pay to watch this show. I would subscribe. I'll look at you and lee and I'll say how long this is gonna last And I'll be happy if you guys do last But I'll have doubts about different things. Just I'll just watch it Yeah, I won't but then I'll just give it honestly if you got into Montreal I would and I didn't it would make me so happy because in my mind we got into Montreal Okay, well, no, she's gonna tag along. No, I have a gig that weekend. So you go off and do Montreal I'm gonna be over here doing my gig and also if we've been doing it a lot longer than I have

So for me in that sense, I gotta respect that You know what I mean, like but you won't see I see what you're saying, but even me myself I'm I can be a jealous person. I could see I could see myself I date you that means now. I gotta take you on the road with me Not when I'm married to be on the fucking road together too. Or how about we donnie and fucking marie? Who books that show can I chair? Give me that booker's number You're not but I think a lot of people are I'm very I'm I'm I my first year of comedy was very much

As much as it was getting on stage and like writing and and learning that And whatever it was also the mental side of it and having to deal with those emotions of Jealousy and worrying about what other people are doing and really I got to a place in my comedy where I'm like, okay I am confident that like In my material and who I am and like my Like that I know that I'm funny and that I'm in this journey. This is a journey for me. It's not like a Rush I'm not everything that I've gotten has come to me at the right time and when I felt like I deserved it I'm not one out here like

Begging for spots if I don't have a spot. I'm at mics. I'm writing every day I'm getting better as a comic and I feel like I've I've had to Come to terms with that even with friends because a lot of my friends were getting stuff You know and I was watching that in the first year of comedy But you know what I started to get stuff and it didn't stop I started to get a lot of stuff and I started to and I was like their success was my motivation You know what I mean and I just I'm not ever coming from a place of jealousy

I always come from a place of gratefulness and gratitude that I'm even just here so like I think it takes The right kind of people one to be in comedy and two to date comics to comics. It's never I don't but it's Comedy is not for everyone and dating comics is not for everyone nor should it be recommended to everyone if I dated Well, when you say dated I fucked around with maybe four comics and I part-time dated one comic where any of them enjoyable for you It got uncomfortable at what point

Once you put it in their ass No I didn't get to that part If you even take somebody home, they're a good piece of ass you're having a good time But then they did one little thing and it blows off the fucking whole night If they would have done it on the third night It wouldn't have bothered as much as the first night. Okay Like the four comic chicks I slept with

were all looking for something What do you mean? They were looking for help at some point. Oh, oh, I see like from you for their careers Oh, so they're at that part of my career. Remember this is this is this is when I was at the store Right, this is girls that would see me at the store right and go you didn't think they loved you for you. No No, no, no, no, this is LA Nobody loves you for you. Oh, no, I'm I'm being cynical. I'm not saying that. Yeah, I've been mad. I've met her and Yeah worked out. Um

One girl I kind of I dated her I really liked her. Yeah, and I kept it as as Detailed as I could But I couldn't think about six weeks on the road without a second my dick Brother with me because she was that much fun. Yeah, we did coat together. I could so it was a blast I could light her asshole on pussy on those nights on those off nights. Yeah three of Instead of paying for the hotel room myself. I'm sharing it with another comic And that's what I didn't like. Oh, you didn't like that. I got back from that. I was done

Oh, okay. I still liked her and I still messed around with it But our road work was done. Wow Did you run into anything with uh, because you you met you met your wife when she was working at the store not she wasn't a comic but Was there Any weirdness there with her being at your work or with her knowing with other comics knowing that she worked there They were pretty cool. I kept it under a hat for a year. Can I tell you something? My parents Are an example a rare example of people who work together that could stay. Yeah

Ran a business together and have a successful marriage together and these are These are not this is not recommended either for these people to be dating those You know what I mean? In each of us As a comedian. No, but they were politicians and let me tell you there is just as much competition to see your significant other I I get the competition part as comics That everybody chooses this career. True for a reason So there's a little bit of

With a comedian there's a little bit of We're not completely on our game. Okay Your farm's auntie. We're not completely on our game After I was 30 I learned that Like where you are right now now you start learning more about your relationships and where they are So I learned the one thing, you know what Rachel's fucking beautiful But I can't date Rachel, you know, she's psycho because she's a fucking pothead like me And that means every fucking day

Me and Rachel gonna smoke a pound of fucking weed and we're gonna go into debt together No, we're not because I'm gonna be up working out But I'm wrong about that catching that money But if you're an alcoholic and I'm a cocaine head, that's never gonna work But if you're a cocaine head and I'm a cocaine head, it's not gonna work Okay, like after I was 30 I started figuring that out So you got to just find someone who it does compatible drugs with You know, it's a yin and a yang

I'm really I feel like rick machine when he told that girl that Comedy doesn't work. Uh, uh, if you're over 28, I should have never said that Just in the years I've been here. I saw a lot more people break up Comics and a lot more staying together. Yeah, I saw a lot. I mean a lot. Yeah You know when you're doing comedy for five years And you're into it like a girl like you You're dealing with comedians seven nights a week

I bump into you. We go to denny's we go back to your house. You smoke a joint You come out with pajamas on something happens. Why are you letting my secrets out? And now we take little by little and we try it's happened a thousand times, you know But it ends kind of weird And now I got us like mitzi. Sure Let's say you and I dated and we were both at the store If we broke up after two years and mitzi found out Now she would make you follow me. Oh my god every night and I would make or

Me follow you every night So she would force you guys have to work together. She would make no weirdness. No, no, no There's difference between working together. You're the nc and on the headline or like But when you got to bring me up and shake my hand Even though you left me for lee. Oh god. Okay. You left me triangle for lee literally So Now I got to go follow you even though I want to spit in your face or I left you for your sister Would you want to bring me up without wanting to spit my fucking face?

That's a complete different emotion. She would tap into that's probably great for the stage though. Oh So inspiring, you know because what are you not going to shake my hand? Yeah, no, I definitely would give me a hug. Are you going to go up on stage and say this next guy coming to the stage? Fuck my sister stole my car and cheated on me and gave me fucking chlamydia I think he fucked my sister other chlamydia and we're getting married next week. Thank you That would actually be kind of funny. Would you say that? No, you have to say this next guy. I love I've seen him on atrio and I've seen him on showtime and comedy central He's one of my all-time favorites

Keep it going. You got and you got to say this while your heart's breaking He's going home to your sister You know i'm saying yeah that builds that's called the discipline The discipline I'm ready for it. This is no this is lee. Are you ready to fuck my sister and bring me up on stage? this is just like The jabs did, you know, there's a discipline There's a discipline. I'm one of the jabs and you fucked up. What do you do?

You got to go get a sword and and fuckers. I hurry car It's a discipline. Hurry. You fuck up. You cut your thumb off. Yeah, we're not cutting thumbs off in here nothing But you have to run this ceo of your comedy Like it's yeah, it's a discipline. I don't give a fuck If the period is gushing out of my pussy I got a 15-minute spot at the start. You know what i'm saying? Like yeah, these are all the things that You know, I don't care if i'm sick You know, they just when you get into that love of it

There's just this discipline that's like but I feel like it kind of is like hurry car I just know in the way like If you go on stage and have a bad like it feels like you're stabbing yourself And you kind of like I feel like maybe the point of hurry cars So you learn from it and hopefully you learn from You make like you're like, I'm not gonna make that mistake again on stage in some way. I think it's similar No, you make the mistake again again to see if it was even a mistake Okay, that's deep. Okay. I never thought about that make the mistake again on stage to see if it was even a mistake

Maybe there was just an audience that was deaf. You didn't get the memo You know, maybe there was an audience that doesn't like fucking sucking and fucking you didn't get the memo, you know Yeah, I'm sorry to turning your Podcast into a comedy class. Oh, no, I'm learning so much. I really wanted to get to learn about you. This is so interesting Oh, thank you. So who do you write for now? I know you're right. Um, I'm not I mean, I I've written for publications. I've written for uh, high times mary jane vice playboy um, right now I just work and do marketing during the day for the weed industry And uh comedy at night

And when you say weed industry, who do you? I work who signs your paycheck, uh bud feed kush queen um, I shoot for a bunch of brands I um, yeah, I do social media marketing. So I get a lot of work in the weed industry Just you smoking Talking about that problem. Well, I do I do shoots. Um, I am part of a youtube channel where we film videos We have like 70 000 subscribers all about weed kind of from an educational

Uh base standpoint with a little bit of humor and then I write for Uh publications. I do social media marketing for brands and companies. I run ads on my account Um, so yeah, I just I try to uh, you're pretty much making a living off the weed company Um, not fully a living like I I'm between weed and comedy. That's what I make my living off of Now you also said In an interview that get to know the weed plant and keep it original Yeah, if you want to get into the business. Yeah, what did you mean by that? Well, people get to know the plant Yeah, for me, I just see a lot of people who are getting into the industry

I mean everyone has their intentions of getting into weed. Um, but I just think that you need to really I I don't like seeing people who get into the industry and don't have a relationship with the plant because for me it's a medicine and Yeah, and it's I feel like it's like you're taking advantage of something and of people who You know, this is a medicine. This is something that's special to us. It's healing and It's becoming so corporate and that's the side of it that like when we voted for legalization that a lot of people warned Us about that this is what it would turn into and you know over time. I think things will change

But you're seeing so many different kinds of people trying to get into the industry and I get asked this question a lot of like How do I get in? What's the best way because I've you've been smoking for two weeks. Yeah, and all of a sudden Now you listen to Bob Marley. Yeah, all of a sudden you got a weed t-shirt That's what I saw in the very beginning. I saw a lot of fakes Faking the funk. Well, and so for me, it's just like, well, you know one get to know the plant From an authentic standpoint find why you love this plant. What is it that attracts you to the to the plant and then For me be original like whatever you're doing whatever you're producing whatever

You're putting out there whether it's marketing or you're trying to do a brand or you're trying to do a grow like be original Be authentic like find a way to add not take away from Whatever is out there. I guess, you know, you brought a blunt I did and we smoked it before the show. Yes If this was three years ago right now, we'd be on a 50th bond hit 2000 nettles. Yeah, I had to cut that out for two reasons. Number one I listened to the podcast and we were putting our shitty content

Because we were stoned 80% of the time And the other problem was that I was attracting The wrong kind of audience audience. Okay. I didn't want the audience. I didn't want to ever lie to the audience I smoke You know a fucking eighth every two days of 25% and over thc And I have a bomb. I do this one bond at a time. Okay. I wake up to three Three before I go lift Three when I come back amazing two at one

A three before I got a picture. I smoke an eighth an hour. Do you really? I mean, I can go through an eighth and less than a day Yeah, I could I could do them in a day The bong slows me down. Yeah, I should probably do that. Okay the bong I do the bong because it's a bigger hit I get the more from my bang Yeah, when I smoke now number two, I can't smoke the same weed every day Yeah, so when I go to the weed store, I got to buy four weeds Indicate what daytime weed and nighttime weed. I'm an indica guy. Okay, for sure

If it's if it's a high g if it's a high bread that's indica dominated Okay, me too and the percentages I'll go with that sativas just do not work There's maybe one or two sativas that put me in a different state, but the rest of them don't do dick to me Yeah, I feel that I'm an indica dominant In one of your interviews or one of your youtube videos. I saw that You had adhd and then you were bipolar when you were 12, you know between you and me I don't know what half that shit is. Yeah, I don't want to fucking know. Yeah, but I do know that I had the same thing. I didn't get

I just knew from the first time I smoked weed Not alcohol, not snorting coke Not eating pills, none of that shit as far as weed concerned Something happened to me. Yeah, if you notice, I'm not a big Weed and a group type of guy, right? You won't see me at weed functions. Yeah I'm not that's not my bag For me. I do it like the fucking Indians. It's uh It's uh

Ritual it's a ritual. Yeah, you know as it as it very much It's a ritual for me a personal ritual. Yeah, I can't lie to you and a lot of people gonna hate on me for this I don't give a fuck if it's illegal Okay It's a ritual for me. I like I like ripping the paper and then Clue in it together. I'm letting it dry and while it dries. I'm breaking up my button I'm listening to a music and then I put it together like I wrote two joints and put them in a Thing and go to I'm when I'm on the road and I'll smoke one before the first show and before the second show

I really don't want to smoke with nobody. Yeah It's my own personal little ritual Totally, you know, if I know that you're gonna be the I'll bring seven joints So I could give you one your own joint just in case you blew a fucking A fucking terrorist last night. Yeah, I don't have to have terrorist germs in my lung and agent orange You know what I'm saying when I was a kid I would get sick when I smoked in circles Oh, wow, I would get really sick or whatever. So for me I I never for me. It was not about I think that one this weed thing and you and I both know this

We won't mention no names. I think a lot of people got on the weed boat to sell ticket center Yeah, make people think they were cool or whatever And they the way the guy like me. Yeah, because like you I've been hitting this since I was 12, right? And I think for even when I think of comedy When I think of the comedic mind And I think of a drug. There's no better drug. Yeah, you know this morning when I got back from acupuncture I had a fucking right before I came he had a right a little bit I did four or five bomb hits. Yeah loosen the wing

You gotta look at the dry ginger elf diet And that put a I leave myself on the other room I go on the living room because I didn't have a chance to go get caught, you know I had to do it there and it's all part of my ritual I love that if I could I don't like smoking while I write I like to smoke leave the bomb in the other room And then I write and then get up an hour later and go refuel. That's a discipline That's a discipline get up move around and go smoke again in another room the uh

The common thing when I hear from people about riding high Is that it'll seem funny in the moment, but then it actually isn't have you guys trained yourself to ride high? Or or do you find the same thing? It's not about writing funny in that It's about relaxing you if you read the Stephen King book on writing. It's not about writing a whole page It's about sitting there for now. Okay It's about you. I'm gonna have to read that getting up going somewhere Sitting there facing the sun Or against the sun if you read his book. Yeah, he sits a certain way

towards the sun Steven Spielberg the prince Stephen King the prince of fucking darkness The guy who wrote cujo has to sit a certain way in a room Facing the sun and he plays music while he writes And he locks the door so nobody could come and I don't like my wife coming in the room, but I'm fucking right Oh, wow That's why I go to a coffee shop and I sit in the same place the coffee shops nobody could come up behind me Wow, you know, I like all these little rituals rituals

But marijuana for me has always been a ritual. You know, I get up I drink coffee. I pop a nicotine gum. I brush my teeth Then I hit that pipe at that about 40 minutes in by fucking eight o'clock. I'm starving now I can eat my two eggs and bake it. What time do you hit when you wake up? Um, I mean honestly every day is different. I wake and bake pretty much every single day every day Different ways. I've been on blunt lately, which is probably not the healthiest But I just love that little bit of tobacco. I like I like it from time to time. I love it blunt in a coffee I go and I work out

Sometimes I'll wait to smoke until after I work out because I like to think of it as a reward You know, it's my wind down Um, and definitely when I'm writing and even like on before I get up on stage like Felipe When you know, we're chief and right until the moment we get walk on stage and I had some of my best sets You know high as fuck and like I'm just calm where I can like Be myself and like some stuff like maybe a joke will just come out. I'll write it on stage or something for me The reefer removes the safety net. Yeah, I'm fucking Johnny Wollander. You want to be Johnny Wollander? This is your chance to be more Johnny Wollander

Smoke this this is another discipline Focus and go on stage deliver the audience will read That you're high. Yeah, and they give you brownie points They give you points. So there's a learning curve You know when you're drinking you don't get that learning curve That's true when you're smoking you get that little curve from the audience And if you are funny and they know you're stoning you start giggling they're taking the ride with you You suck them into your fucking right. You suck them into your nightmare. It's true. You know, you really did

I don't do edibles before stage But I will smoke pot like oh, yeah Because like I told my wife the other day I go this is why I don't like the word sobriety Because you're always living on a fucking I can't I can't I can't yeah It's like the opposite of improv marijuana keeps me knowing that I'm dirty. Yeah There is something wrong or real, you know, I have always I've always dreamt of giving up Coke and alcohol and pills and all that shit marijuana

It's never even crossed my fucking mind Like I will smoke till they bury me unless I lose a lung or an eyeball I'm the same way something was it hard for you in new york or did you be able to bring enough for the entire month? I don't you find weed in new york. I brought Fucked in two pounds of weed with me back there when I was there for the three weeks. Yeah I had eight different types of weed. Oh hell yeah You just put it in your back. Yeah, they don't care anymore 28 ounces I brought two. Yeah

I bring a gym bag. You just dip it in the boxing glove Oh, sure. So now you have two bags. So if they lose one, you got weed in one and I don't lose both of them Yeah, that's my steep lap me a bag has something You put them all in different places. Yeah, I don't I don't vape that don't work no I don't like that. I don't like that. I'm gonna bring you a bag of vapes and I go I still would have taken them and smoked them just because you gave them to me. No, but they don't The vapes do something to me the first two of them in the mind And then I'm spitting up the next couple days. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not a fan

Where do you see marijuana going in the future? Do you see tv shows? I mean, I've watched born up a tea. No Nothing best I mean, I I I saw a bus today that the whole rap of the bus was a cbd Advertisement so it's going mainstream like it's it's gonna be huge. I think there's gonna be maybe even a weed channel I wouldn't be surprised that there was a tv network or if it all just went online. It's really just when mainstream advertising And the people like that are willing to put their dollars behind You know cannabis content on a mainstream level

Like what's like coke or like pepsi is going to be the first one to like back or sponsor Something like that. We're really just kind of waiting and I think honestly if it goes federal That's when we'll really start to see it on a different level You know all over the place. I don't know. I think it was I don't know if we're both friends with mom on facebook But yesterday someone posted a picture that some cbd company Had like the time, you know how time square looked they'll have like eight different advertisements from the same company It was a cbd company. Yeah, I mean, it's the future. It's everywhere It's in our Walgreens that they're selling cbd at Sephora. It's my friend has a

Cush queen is that urban outfitters now? It's a cbd thc bath bombs. I'll bring you some for you or your wife if you guys take baths Um I'm a shower guy. Okay. Okay, but uh, I'm gonna sit in the bath and soak in the same dirt I don't know. Maybe your wife. Maybe you're I don't know what you women like that. Yeah, we do believe Oh, yeah, it's romantic. It's amazing. I think a bath. I whack off. I gotta go Hell yeah, once it's float once I see that egg yolk floating in the fucking bubble So why don't you just wait to jerk off because Everybody wants to drip off on the water. Yeah, there you go. Well, let me just let you yeah

It'll be nice with the bath bomb. Where do you see your career going in that six months in the next six months? Ooh, I'm what do you want to do next? Uh Just continued to hustle writing. Uh, I signed an nda for some stuff that i'm pretty excited for so I have some things I shot my first pilot uh a couple weeks ago. So you should file it for uh, it was for a e comedy For e and it was a game show that had all female comics on it. That was about pop culture called material girls So i'm starting to like i'm i'm open I'm I got my plans are to learn and to grow and to just be funnier than the day before and that's like I'm open you take an acting class. Um second city really good for you. Yeah

So you're really making this work. Oh, this is my life. This is what i'm doing. You have a roommate. Nope I live alone My ex-boyfriend, uh, I used to live with one of my boyfriends, but I no longer live with them. Good for you Yeah, well, I hope you stay single for a while because it seems you like the kiss of death Oh, man yourself. I mean you're funny and you're going you know what right now you're funny And you go in places where I add that extra stress. I mean, I'm not I I'm I'm never looking for that I'm I know what I want out of this life. I wanted to stand up is my my main love stand up is my Like I'm married to stand up, you know, and that's what I'm going to be doing to the day

I can't walk anymore on stage and then I'll roll myself But um, you know, I I don't like to plan my life like I have I I I hope for the best You know, I just I just focus on what's right in front of me How can people find you? Uh facebook twitter instagram at wolfie comedy and if they like weed humor or weed content facebook twitter instagram at wolfie memes And then my podcast on stitcher itunes and spotify chronic relief with rachel wolfson and I'd love to have you both on Where's your uh, what's the website where they could get your dates?

Um, I don't really post dates on a website because I'm just, you know Lazy when it comes to that but my I do post my dates and my shows on my instagram Um, I just think that's where a lot of my people follow me. You have an agent everything. Uh, nope. I have a publicist Do you really? Yeah, I recently a publicist Wanted to be my publicist. So I uh, that's what I'm saying. I I I I have a lot of good things. I'm in a good place You know life is happening and I'm just riding the wave Well, I've been watching you for about nine months and uh I could tell you're a hustler. Thank you. You're not looking for any handouts. No never

Felipe speaks very highly of you. I'm honored Everybody that I've met has spoken very they've asked me if I If I knowing you and I don't know but this is the first time it's great to meet you. Thank you You're prettier in person. Oh, wow your photographs. Thank you You're always welcome on the show. I love you guys. Thank you so much. So where can they find you little stony ass? Oh, yeah, uh at wolfie comedy. That's where they can find me. Well, and I just started calling you wolfie I love it. I love your name. I love it. You look like a wolfie. So thank you So yeah, anytime you want to come on, you're always family. Thank you for having me and I want to thank you mother fuckers for always

Supporting us. Do not forget The only date I got is the Lincoln motherfucking theater in dc august 9th Tickets are moving. I'm sorry The bar god is sold out. I can't really fuck. Yeah, it's been sold out. Oh, that's dope Because my family's going I can't add a second show But we just put tickets up at the stress factory for october. So knock yourself out. You want to go to new brunswick I'll see you cop suckers there

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It's kind of funny. Well, you just weren't understanding who they thought I was supposed to be. Look at me now. I'll be home by myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah Has been burned up to taste I have been guilty of hitting myself in the teeth I will speak no more of my feelings with you Down in a hole, feeling so small Down in a hole, losing my soul I've got to fly

My wings have sped so late at night There in these soft things Oh, I want to be inside of you I give this part of the reason Oh, I want to be inside of you Stand right down in here, I said Oh, I want to be inside of you Oh, I want to be inside of you

Down in a hole, feeling so small Down in a hole, losing my soul Down in a hole, feeling so small Down in a hole, having control I've got to fly My wings have sped so late Down in a hole